#but fundamentally just very interesting in almost every aspect

[psrj]

the imperial accountant baru cormorant, and the duchess of vultjag

#the traitor baru cormorant #the masquerade #baru cormorant #tain hu #my art #fan art #character design #i recently rediscovered my literacy #so i read this whole series in two weeks and i think it's both kinda phenomenal and very flawed #but fundamentally just very interesting in almost every aspect #i had a great time #not gonna apologise for the niche fan art lol #utterly obsessed with baru btw #character of all time

[greghatecrimes]

Okay. Buckle up babes, it's finally Foreteen time and I wrote an essay.

Foreman and Thirteen are so interesting to me in so many ways. You have Foreman, who thrives off of control, and Thirteen, who refuses to be controlled in almost every aspect of her life. In the sense of them as individual people, they both have a lot of their own issues going on. Hot messes, the two of them. But in the sense of them as a couple, I think Foreman specifically is the only one who has issues with the relationship. (Or rather, Thirteen's issues aren't being projected onto the relationship and causing difficulties at the end of s5/beginning of s6, while Foreman's are.)

Foreman's biggest thing, at least in the latter part of their relationship, is control in regards to emotions. After they found Kutner, he coped with everything by isolating himself. A huge part of me thinks that's because this terrible thing just happened, the floor just fell out from both of them in so many ways, and Foreman feels like he doesn't have a grip on anything anymore. The only thing he can control is himself, and how he reacts. So Thirteen? Even though she's his girlfriend and he's worked with her for two years, her emotions and reactions are fundamentally beyond the scope of his control; she's still a wild card. She's not safe. So instead of letting himself lean on Thirteen, letting them grieve together, letting them comfort each other, for his own stability, Foreman chooses to cope (and thus reject Thirteen when she reaches out for support) by retreating into an environment that he's intimately familiar with. He surrounds himself with only variables that he can confidently predict. It's his gut instinct. It's always worked before, so why wouldn't it work this time? Why would it have any reason to cause problems?

In season four and the first half of season five, Thirteen was very much the same way. When things became too overwhelming for her, she repeatedly dealt with them by running, by hiding; by trying to isolate herself from the people who care about her and want to help her. The same base principle drives them both at this point: "what's out of my control is dangerous in some way or another. The only one who's safe to be around is myself, because I am the only person that I can control." But by mid season five, Thirteen has come a long way from that. Slowly she's becoming much more of a "recovering control freak". She's starting to be okay with the fact that she's not always going to have the amount of control that she has right now. She knows that all of it is something she has to come to terms with, and slowly she's getting to a point where she's accepting her diagnosis and working on all the baggage that comes with it.

Thinking about that– the fact that, by mid season five, Thirteen is approaching a point in her life of letting go, of learning to 'go with the flow'; while Foreman is very much still on the side of "I thrive and keep myself safe by controlling every aspect of my life possible"– makes them fundamentally incompatible as a couple from the get-go, even with all of the chemistry they had. Because the moment they get together (the Christmas party in 5x10 "Joy to the World") is right after Thirteen's decided that she doesn't want to die; when she's just starting to process her diagnosis instead of running from it.

Do I think there was/is love there? Yes. They absolutely care about each other, both during and after the relationship.

Do I think they would have worked out long term? The simple answer is "no".

The more complicated answer is that if they had been able to avoid the fiasco of Foreman running the department and then firing Thirteen after House quit, I think they could have made it work. But it would have been rocky, and it would have been especially rough for Foreman. Extremely so if it were to reach a point where they've stayed together for years and years, and Foreman is with Thirteen when she really starts to decline with her Huntington's.

Foreman is Thirteen's friend; he's also seen people slowly wither away from degenerative disease (his mother, with Alzheimer's), and he's a neurologist (and so he knows exactly how she'll decline, down to every last detail). All of those things give him greater emotional stakes in her Huntington's diagnosis beyond what's typical. But specifically in the situation of them facing this as a couple, you have this level of involvement where Foreman– someone who needs a high amount of control to function on a fairly basic level– is in an incredibly intimate relationship with Thirteen, whose entire life is inevitably and actively slipping out of her control. And in that scenario... I think that when the decline does start happening, it would absolutely terrify Foreman. To be the one that's by her side as a partner– seeing all of it firsthand, the pain and grief and sickness? And as her significant other, being the one that would potentially become a medical proxy when she's too sick to advocate for herself, faced with the possibility of making life or death decisions (like whether or not to euthanize the woman he loves)? I think that would have the potential to utterly destroy him.

As a friend, though? ("Ex-partners who have gotten back to a shaky friendship after the breakup, and still care about each other deeply", but "friends" for short.) The entire situation completely changes. I firmly believe that post-canon, if Foreman knows House offered to kill Thirteen before he "died", he would offer to kill her in House's stead in a heartbeat (just like I think Chase does). THAT sort of involvement with Thirteen's decline and care is far less terrifying, because now this is not the decline of someone that he's based his entire future on. This is not someone he's given half of his heart to; this is not someone he's built an entire life with and entwined himself so thoroughly with.

With the way things work out in canon, they're still friends, and they still care about each other; but at the end of the day, they're two separate people with two separate lives, two separate futures. And so Foreman doesn't lose a single ounce of his control as Thirteen's is slowly taken from her, bit by bit. Witnessing that is still a pain that is unimaginable. But for him, it's survivable. And that's the key difference (and why I ship Foreteen during season five and season six, but not post canon).

#this has been sitting as a bunch of voice memos in me and Bee's discord convos for MONTHS and i'm so happy to finally write it out #doomed yuri vibes and i can make another post to elaborate on that at some point #i love them a lot even when they hurt me #house md #hate crimes md #hatecrimes md #remy thirteen hadley #eric foreman #remy hadley #foreteen #my meta #meta

[devildom-moss]

Ideal threesomes headcanon (the others)

Who pairs best with each character in a threesome? Who brings the best out of them or shows them the most enjoyable time? (none of the brothers are paired with each other - or with Simeon)

(NSFW)

Diavolo

Diavolo is incredibly versatile, and he’ll adapt to anyone he wants to bring into his bed (library, office, garden, kitchen – much to Barbatos’s disappointment and annoyance). A threesome with Simeon brings something otherworldly out of Diavolo.

It isn’t the first time Diavolo has taken interest in an especially beautiful angel, and he still isn’t over his first angel. Maybe he has a corruption kink, or maybe – at least in the case of Simeon – Diavolo just wants to use sex to deepen his understanding of another person. Diavolo finds Simeon confusing, and his desire to unravel his mystery extends to physical intimacy.

For all the effort it takes to get Simeon to agree to join the two of you, Diavolo brings twice the effort into pleasing you both. The fact that the experience is an exemplification of his goals – the three worlds cumming coming together in unity – and an opportunity to bring some small aspect of his dreams to fruition is not overlooked. As such, he is determined to perform to the best of his ability. If Diavolo seems giving in normal conditions, his hospitality is almost saintly in the presence of you and Simeon. He wants to show you what the Devildom has to offer through his body.

Diavolo can get extremely frustrated by Simeon in his day-to-day when he can’t seem to read Simeon’s expressions or intentions – in part because he wants to know everyone he cares for inside and out but also because it makes him doubt his worldview. If he can’t read Simeon, maybe angels are so fundamentally different that they can never see eye-to-eye perfectly. Diavolo holds that worry and frustration deep and hushed in his heart. Instead of voicing it, he takes out his frustration on you both sexually (in his own way), which often takes the form of making you both cum over and over until you’re too immersed in pleasure to think of anything. He gets drunk on the feeling of pride that swells in his chest when you and Simeon are moaning his name desperately.

Barbatos

As much as Barbatos can get annoyed by Solomon’s antics, he is still bound to him. Overall, he’s fond of Solomon, though – enough so that he probably would have sex with him without you (although, typically, that would be just so either of them can blow off a bit of steam).

The appeal of a threesome with Solomon is two-fold in that it depends on whether Barbatos is feeling more dominant or submissive.

If Barbatos is feeling dominant, he gets joy out of watching the man who tamed him crumble and submit to you both. The sadistic pleasure of watching Solomon the Wise reduced to a moaning, senseless mess at the hands of his apprentice and a demon under his control delights Barbatos. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Barbatos adores watching you take control of Solomon, and he finds himself increasingly attracted to you every time he watches you handle the great sorcerer with ease.

Furthermore, it gives Barbatos the opportunity to showcase his sadism and dominance for you to some extent. He usually hides these sides of himself – often opting to submit to you. While any threesome might bring that out of Barbatos, Solomon encourages the most extreme reactions out of him (he would torture Solomon for a few days if he could).

If Barbatos is feeling submissive, he essentially switches positions with Solomon. He adores being used by you two. Between his pretty face and his eagerness to serve and please, you and Solomon have the perfect little doll to toy with. Even without forming a pact, Barbatos occasionally thinks of you as his master in a way. Submissive Barbatos threesomes elate him; the very idea of serving every sexual need of two people he is indebted to – especially two humans – clouds his head with lust. He does such a good job that Solomon can’t resist showering him with praise.

Simeon

Initially, having sex with a demon is daunting for Simeon. How far is he willing to fall for you? Far enough to lie with a demon? Apparently so. The first demon who comes to mind is Barbatos, and his intuition is perfect.

Simeon gets so flustered over how quickly he considered Barbatos that he tries to justify it. If Barbatos hadn’t placed his hand on the small of Simeon’s back the other day when he needed to pass behind him, if he hadn’t held his hand so he wouldn’t get lost at the market when it was busy or offered to help carry part of Simeon’s groceries when Barbatos already had a few bags, if Simeon hadn’t seen how gently Barbatos pat Luke’s head as he congratulated him on how delicious the new cake he made turned out – maybe if Barbatos hadn’t proved himself to be so caring and sweet, Simeon wouldn’t have been so receptive to sharing you or himself with the demon.

The main appeal of Barbatos and Simeon is that they adore doting on you (and others), and they get along better than most. Even in moments of silent interaction, they’re in tune, relying on their intuition and inherent understanding of one another to navigate. Their awareness and caring nature make for intimate and mind-blowingly fulfilling sex.

They’ll take care of anything you want – no matter what demands you make. Similar to the Beel and Diavolo threesome, Simeon and Barbatos primarily focus on your needs and pleasure (sans some of the playful goofiness or unintentional overstimulation due to an eagerness to keep going).

If you want to dominate them, they compound the other’s obedience and submission. Separately, they may show signs of brattiness and tease you back, but when they’re in each other’s presence, they are both quietly competing to prove how good they can be.

Barbatos mindlessly initiated physical intimacy between him and Simeon in your presence. For a brief second, Simeon’s moaning suggested shock before quickly adjusting to the pleasure of Barbatos’s mouth on him. After the initial shock, Simeon relished the opportunity to touch and be touched by both you and Barbatos – a sentiment that Barbatos shares.

Solomon

Solomon may not be able to secure a pact with him, but he relishes in the opportunity to at least get intimate with Lucifer, especially if he’s able to fuck that powerful demon senseless or watch you do it – anything to watch Lucifer get taken down a peg.

Solomon and Lucifer are extremely competitive, and when you’re involved, they start to get aggressive. Even the suggestion that you and Solomon are being affectionate is enough to trigger Lucifer’s possessiveness. There are even times that your involvement with Solomon makes Lucifer start to hate Solomon to some degree. Solomon knows this and loves it. Lucifer must respect him to get so obviously jealous, right? Similarly, though, Solomon starts to get aggressive when you spend too much time with Lucifer. At the very least, he will cover your body in love bites. This competition follows them into the bedroom.

Getting caught up in their sex-fueled feud is intoxicating and electric. Both of them are torn between a desire to please you and a need for one-upmanship. The tension in the room hangs thick and heavy – almost suffocating everyone, and you are the only one with the power to diffuse it.

Initially, it was embarrassing for them both to have to acknowledge how weak they are for you. However, they find comfort in the fact that the other is just a susceptible to your will. The first time Solomon realized this was the case in a sexual setting, he started to laugh, which was a complete turn-off for Lucifer (or so he claimed with his cheeks still flushed pink and his dick still hard in his pants).

You or Solomon will have to bring up the threesome, and even then, Solomon probably only brings it up as a joke to tease Lucifer.

Thirteen

Thirteen and Asmodeus make for such a fun and carefree threesome. In addition to being pretty, both Thirteen and Asmo tend to focus on exploring sensual pleasure. Thirteen does as she pleases, and although she can find it troublesome that Asmo is the same way, she respects him for how he prioritizes himself. Asmo has mutual respect for her for the same reason. Their personalities and that respect add to their sexual compatibility.

Neither of them is subtle about how much they care about themselves, and their confidence calls for (sometimes excessive amounts of) flirting. When you’re alone or in front of a few people that Thirteen wants to make jealous (all of the romanceable characters – but especially Solomon and the demon brothers), she will openly admit how much she wants you. If she’s feeling wicked, she’ll tell you exactly what she wants to do to you – which is how the Thirteen/Asmo/MC threesome came to be.

“You should come home with me tonight, MC. I’d like to test the acoustics of my bedroom, and I’m not loud enough without you.” / “Um, absolutely not, Thirteen. If you think you’re getting MC alone, you’re out of your mind. However, the three of us might be able to test the acoustics.” Thirteen casually agreed, feeling as if she received a free upgrade.

Where jealousy could arise in both Thirteen or Asmo, they drop it in favor of being open and easygoing. Instead of trying to reign you in and keep you to themselves, they ask to join in when they feel jealous. Using you as a focal point in the relationship, especially given that they already enjoy each other’s company, can blossom into more intimate feelings between Thirteen and Asmo. This is one of the few threesome pairings that could become a healthy polyamorous relationship where all members are involved with each other.

Just because they both prioritize themselves doesn’t mean that they aren’t gentle and caring with you. Getting those two together will have you drowning in sweetness: whispered words of admiration, loving caresses, stares overflowing with adoration. No one will leave that interaction without feeling worshiped and desired.

Raphael

Raphael feels a lot of sexual guilt – much worse than Simeon does. He can’t avoid feeling dirty and wrong for desiring you in that way; every perverse thought he has weighs heavy on his chest. As odd as it may seem (since a threesome might be considered more deviant), having Simeon there can ease his anxiety and unburden him to a degree.

Simeon is a calming presence for Raphael; he’s carefree and gentle, which can balance Raph’s uptight, rigid, and violent personality. Simeon has a way of smoothing those edges out that even you have trouble with. Although Raphael does his best to show you his softer side, he never showcases it more than he does when you’ve got both of those angels in your bed.

An “if we fall, we fall together” mentality is a savior for Raphael’s guilt – it even eases some of Simeon’s. Neither one wants to be alone in damnation – if, indeed, loving you in every way would damn them. As long as they have you and each other, both of them (especially Raphael) feel more prepared to handle whatever will happen as a consequence. Simeon was prepared to fall for you alone, but knowing Raphael would be by his side helps.

Furthermore, Simeon is pretty, so it’s not like Raphael minds. In fact, he’s stunned at how gorgeous Simeon truly is the first time he sees him arch his back and moan your name. Raphael almost gets overwhelmed when he realizes he’s going to be pleasured by two of the most beautiful creatures he had ever laid eyes on. Simeon, likewise, finds Raphael handsome. Moreover (although he’d never admit it), Simeon gets turned on knowing he can contribute to the pleasure of someone who has historically been so cruel to him. The idea that just a bit of touching could make Raphael so sweet and pliable brings Simeon a wicked joy. As such, he has a tendency to tease Raph excessively. It’s an additional perk for Simeon on top of getting to be with you.

Raphael is grateful to Simeon for granting him the opportunity to experience so much pleasure with you both without such crushing guilt – although he can occasionally stomach the guilt if it means he gets you to himself. Still, when he’s with you and Simeon, Raphael will come unraveled, messily switching between your lips and Simeon’s and moaning sweetly as if each sound he made was simultaneously and offering and a plea for mercy.

Mephistopheles

Mephisto and Mammon are the only two who are most compatible with each other. Mephisto’s personality can be a bit too abrasive to meld well with other characters. Satan and Diavolo would be decent matches, and if you don’t mind feeling like you’re being caught up in the middle of a hate-fucking, Mephisto and Lucifer have some appeal. However, Mephisto and Mammon in a threesome have the most to offer each other.

While Mephisto offers a good match to Mammon’s high energy, Mammon pulls the fun, playful side out of Mephisto more. The way Mammon thoughtlessly smiles and leans into your touch when he’s praised encourages Mephisto to relax and indulge in his own neediness. Additionally, Mammon’s submissive nature can affect Mephisto’s own role more than he wants to admit. Mephisto’s ego makes him want to prove himself as the better sub for you some days. Other days, it drives him to showcase what a good dom he can be, tending to you and Mammon so sweetly that most would never believe that was the same demon.

Initially, Mephisto gets a sick, twisted pleasure from fucking (or getting fucked by) Lucifer’s favorite human and his favorite brother. He strives to make you both call out his name. The way Mephisto gets such a sexual kick out of harming or irritating Lucifer, you’d think he wanted to fuck Lucifer (and he sort of does, somewhere deep and repressed). Nevertheless, Mephisto never expected to find himself thinking Mammon was so adorable, which makes him enjoy the threesome more and begins to overshadow his initial intentions.

He enjoys the challenge of simultaneously focusing on the pleasure of two other people. Mephisto is too embarrassed to admit it, but once, he likened the sex to an interview panel with conflicting personalities, and he was the reporter who was going to deliver the interview of the week. He’s such a nerd, send help.

(demon brother version)

A/N: I don't know how these came out even longer because I like the other characters a bit more probably and also the angels have me acting a fool probably. Anyway, I hope that you all enjoyed this two-part headcanon. Also, since I got them all up, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this idea.

#diavolo #barbatos #simeon #solomon #thirteen #raphael #mephistopheles #spice tier #gn!mc #obey me others #obey me dateables #obey me side characters #obey me headcanons #obey me #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me thirteen #obey me raphael #obey me mephistopheles

[havendance]

Batman (2016) #38 wishes it had what Gotham Knights #1 has.

Recent discussion has caused me to remember that I wanted to write this post. Anyway, spoilers for both comics below if you care.

There are a few different things that set these two stories in parallel. The firstly and most obviously, are the parallel in the cases that Bruce faces in each story: We have a boy. His parents have been killed. Bruce (Batman) vows to solve the case; he vows to bring vengeance. And when he finally unravels the mystery he finds that the murderer is none other than the son.

The appeal behind telling such a story is clear. Bruce at his heart is a boy who has lost his parents. For child to kill their parents is alien to him. It isn't something he wants to believe. It's an interesting challenge to pit him against.

The way that Bruce goes up against these is different in the two stories. The Gotham Knights story is there to showcase his supporting cast, his allies. He is hampered at every turn, by Nightwing, Oracle, Robin, Huntress, trying to help him/take over the case because they can see what he can't.

Robin: Um, Listen. Wouldn't bother you, but... well, this case is kinda buggin' me out... Nightwing: Senator Myles and his wife? Yeah, Oracle gave me a heads up. Tim, this one's gonna be hard on Bruce, Okay? Try not to take it too personally if he's-- Robin: --No, it's-- not that, Dick. I'm just worried that maybe... Well, I mean, you've never known Batman to have a blind spot have you? Nightwing: Blind spot?

Whereas in the Batman story, it's a solo story. He monologues to Gordon, to Alfred, to Selina's sleeping body. Alfred makes a wry remark. Selina makes an aside. They're not really allies in this to him, not really. In the Gotham Knights story, Dick practically throws the answer in his face. In Batman, Bruce is the lone savant.

I will give Tom King credit where credit is due. It's a very clever mystery that Batman solves with all of it's twists and turns. It's clever and it knows it.

I do think that the Gotham Knights story though is stronger in it's simplicity. Everyone knows from the beginning and yet Batman insists on investigating each twist and turn, convinced that there must be another solution. Even to the end, when the evidence is overwhelming:

Batman: I fingerprinted ninety-three bullets, and found your prints on this one. It-- It could be used to prove that you killed Jack and Eileen Myles... I need you to really think, Barrett. I need you to finger another suspect, or tell me more about what you saw. I need you to give me something, Barrett. Please...

He cares. He wishes so desperately for it to be something else. Anything else. He's pursuing it to an obsessive, dogged degree. (He fingerprinted 93 bullets)

In contrast, in Batman #38, when Bruce realizes the truth of the murders, it is very much a realization rather than a unwilling truth dragged forth.

Bruce: The killing of parents, blaming it on Zsasz, then on Two-Face. It's fundamentally silly... It's... almost... childish.

It's an intuitive leap, rather than an elimination of all other possibilities. Now, I'm not saying that Batman isn't allowed to have one of those, but there is just something deeply compelling about the way he is so deeply in denial in the Gotham Knights story that just can't be found in the version where it's a convoluted puzzle box for him to solve. There's less compassion there. The conclusion of the storyline emphasizes the way that Bruce was shaped by his parent's murder, and yet I think the way that Bruce is so deeply in denial shows rather than tells us this in a much clearer way:

Batman: You're not Bruce Wayne! You're a sick kid with dead parents! Matthew: Well, yes... but... but what else is Bruce Wayne?

This also brings to the other thing that sets these two stories in parallel is the way that each of them spend their time digging into an aspect of Bruce's identity. In Gotham Knights #1, we have Bruce psychoanalyzing the Batman via third person file (as one does). In Batman #38, the boy is obsessed with Bruce Wayne, he wants to be like him.

The thing I find most interesting in this comparision is that the file is all about 'why doesn't Batman work alone? why is he so stupid as to have all these hanger ons?'

File: You would think Batman would KNOW better. You would think he, of all people, would understand how potentially UNSAFE it is to be surrounded by people you LOVE. The risk of LOSS is always too GREAT.

Before finally concluding that 'hey, they're like a family to him. they help him out. it isn't a complete idiot move after all.' And I think that kind of sums up the reason that I think that the Gotham Knights story just works better. It's about Bruce's weaknesses and the way that they're covered. It is about him and his belief in the goodness of people even in the job he's doing. It's very rooting in humanity, where the Batman story is a clever puzzlebox for Batman to solve.

And as a final note, this rooted-ness in humanity is also demonstrated in the differences of the two boys:

Why did Barret shoot his parents?

Batman: Why? Why did you do it? Why? Barret: I dunno. They bugged me. What's it to you? Batman: It's everything, Barret. Everything...

Why did Matthew?

Batman: I talked to your man. Again. I found more lions. He found another story. About a boy who loved Bruce Wayne. Who wanted to be Bruce Wayne. Who ordered his butler to make him into Bruce Wayne. Matthew: You can't understand.

Ignoring the fact that Bruce is explaingng Matthew's motivations to him, it's just a much more bombastic and fantastical motivation than we had with Barret. The whole story is trying to do something that I feel the Gotham Knights story accomplishes more, and with greater pathos.

Moral of the story: go read Gotham Knights #1. And then maybe read Batman #38 if you want to read a less good version of the same story. Or maybe the other way around and end on a strong note.

#batman #dc #bruce wayne #havendance reads comics #carthago delenda est #tom king tag

[samflir]

What makes a good boot sequence?

A while ago, I had my first truly viral post on Mastodon. It was this:

You might've seen it. It got almost four hundred boosts and reached beyond Mastodon to reddit and even 4chan. I even saw an edit with a spinning frog on the left screen. I knew the post would go down well with tech.lgbt but I never expected it to blow up the way it did.

I tried my best to express succinctly exactly what it is I miss about BIOS motherboards in the age of UEFI in this picture. I think looking at a logo and spinner/loading bar is boring compared to seeing a bunch of status messages scroll up the screen indicating hardware being activated, services being started up and tasks being run. It takes the soul out of a computer when it hides its computeriness.

I think a lot of people misunderstood my post as expressing a practical preference over an aesthetic one, and there was at least a few thinking this was a Linux fanboy post, which it certainly is not. So here's the long version of a meme I made lol.

Stages

I remember using two family desktop computers before moving over a family laptop. One ran Windows XP and the other ran Windows 7. Both were of the BIOS era, which meant that when booting, they displayed some status information in white on black with a blinking cursor before loading the operating system. On the XP machine, I spent longer in this liminal space because it dual-booted. I needed to select Windows XP from a list of Linux distros when booting it.

I've always liked this. Even as a very little kid I had some sense that what I was seeing was a look back into the history of computing. It felt like a look "behind the scenes" of the main GUI-based operating system into something more primitive. This made computers even more interesting than they already were, to me.

Sequences

The way old computers booted was appealing to my love of all kinds of fixed, repeating sequences. I never skip the intros to TV shows and I get annoyed when my local cinema forgets to show the BBFC ratings card immediately before the film, even though doing so is totally pointless and it's kinda strange that they do that in the first place. Can you tell I'm autistic?

Booting the windows 7 computer would involve this sequence of distinct stages: BIOS white text -> Windows 7 logo with "starting windows" below in the wrong aspect ratio -> switch to correct resolution with loading spinner on the screen -> login screen.

Skipping any would feel wrong to me because it's missing a step in one of those fixed sequences I love so much. And every computer that doesn't start with BIOS diagnostic messages is sadly missing that step to my brain, and feels off.

Low-level magic

I am extremely curious about how things work and always have been, so little reminders when using a computer that it has all sorts of complex inner workings and background processes going on are very interesting to me, so I prefer boot sequences that expose the low-level magic going on and build up to the GUI. Starting in the GUI immediately presents it as fundamental, as if it's not just a pile of abstractions on top of one another. It feels deceptive.

There may actually be some educational and practical value in computers booting in verbose mode by default. Kids using computers for the first time get to see that there's a lot more to their computer than the parts they interact with (sparking curiosity!), and if a boot fails, technicians are better able to diagnose the problem over a phone call with a non-technical person.

Absolute boot sequence perfection

There's still one last thing missing from my family computer's boot sequence, and that's a brief flicker of garbage on screen as VRAM is cleared out. Can't have everything I guess. Slo-mo example from The 8-Bit Guy here:

#computers #opinion #boot sequences #computing history #meme

[soullessjack]

i think one of the other autistic aspects in jacks character that’s like a little hard to see unless you’re also autistic, because it’s more of a common experience than a visible trait, is the sensitivity he has to people perceiving him as “different.” like, yes he actively wants to be strong and protect people and embrace his powers/what he is for a good purpose, and he even likes to show off and impress or entertain people with them. yes he’s well aware of his capabilities + Most Powerful Being status and literally weaponizes it against their enemies, but then at the same time he’s extremely uncomfortable when people regard him as “different” or dangerous, despite him knowing and owning that in other areas.

when mrs butters says that sam and dean should be afraid of jack bc of how insanely powerful he’s become, he never argues against his power level, only that he’d never hurt them; again, he knows his strength and uses it against various enemies even proudly sometimes. a large part of his character is just grappling with what he is and accepting that, which in turn ties into using it for Good to fight the Evil that’s supposed to be inherent to it. au bobby almost has him thrown out of the camp because he’s a “half breed” who will “inevitably” turn on the humans there because of it, and later on rationalizes that jack must be fully evil now because without his human side (a literal biological aspect that can’t be taken away), all that’s left is Lucifer. jack is essentially feared for being half-angel and looked down on for being half-human, for literally being a lesser human being because his other heritage isn’t human.

while jack obviously embraces their human heritage more, they do also make some effort to accept their angelic heritage for what it lets him do. suffice it to say, “this is who i am and I can’t change it but I can do something with it.” so then, when people view him as something weird or dangerous or simply different, when they see him negatively while he’s actively struggling to make positives out of it, he doesn’t deal with it very well. he strives to be “normal,” while still maintaining the protective role he’s able to fill specifically because he isn’t normal.

and for me, the autistic parallel lies in that directly. the more I’m realizing about myself and my autistic identity, the more I’m able to understand myself and embrace it—and even though my family jokes here and there, they also embrace me and help me feel more comfortable and confident in who I am. but it still feels like almost every day, I’m going through loving myself, messing up because I’m autistic, hating that I’m autistic and stuck like this forever, and learning to love myself again despite my faults. wash rinse repeat. as I become an adult and have increasing responsibility and pressure that I’m unable to take on because I’m autistic, I resent that the world isn’t built for me; that it actively hates and mocks me. countless tiktok core-core videos about how I am fundamentally a lesser human being or not even human to allistics, just because I am autistic. I flip back and forth all the time between “I hate being autistic because I struggle like this and I’ll never stop struggling” and “I love being autistic and I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t but I hate how difficult the world is because of it.”

and honestly both can be true; I don’t enjoy the executive dysfunction and exhaustion I’d deal with even in an ideal non-ableist society, but I enjoy being able to have special interests and experience certain things in a unique way. and conversely, jack likes being able to protect their loved ones and do cool tricks with their angel powers, but they don’t like being rejected or othered by everyone else because he’s half-angel. self acceptance is incredibly difficult to maintain when you aren’t outwardly accepted, and it’s even worse when you’re actively rejected—which true for anyone, but especially in the autistic experience. and again, even if the world was accepting of autistic people, I would still probably struggle to accept myself personally because of the ways it disables me. in that same way, even tho jack is (mostly) surrounded by people who accept him as he is and are equally as weird or “monstrous,” he still feels ostensibly Different from them and is actively othered from them by heaven and hell and dean in 15x18 arguing about his True Place.

another layer of this is that, even jack’s supportive accepting equally-weird family has their moments of othering him without meaning to; he is fundamentally dangerous [against his will], and they’re not being unreasonable when they’re afraid. i think dean even frames it as, “we aren’t afraid of you, we’re afraid of what you can do to other people,” which means to separate jack’s inherent dangerousness from their personhood, when jack so easily conflates the two (and even that itself can be seen as separating your symptoms/behaviors from your personhood).

a lot of dadstiel ppl might be mad at this, but even cas has the tendency to impose Jack’s value with the paradisal destiny Kelly told him about, despite also saying that Jack only needs to be himself to be loved. neither his or Kelly’s love are conditional on that basis, but it inadvertently created a standard for jack to hold themself to and is part of the reason he seeks to make Something Good out of what he’s been taught is Inherently Bad. he’s expected to succeed and actively wants to, but because their natural tendencies for retaliation or anger or impulsivity (things they view as inherently evil in them), as well as their lack of total control, causes jack to falter in fully succeeding and ergo, continue the struggle to love himself on the basis of meeting cas and kelly’s accidental standard.

it’s not their fault and it isn’t Jack’s fault either, because it’s all fundamentally a matter of genetics and circumstance, but it’s obvious to anyone alive that’s ever struggled with self consciousness and esteem that it’s hard to love yourself when the love you receive from others seemingly falters in a specific area, because then you fixate on the area where their love falters and you either strive to fix it or spiral into a crisis that there will always be some aspect of you that isn’t lovable.

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#spn #spn analysis #supernatural #jack kline #autistic jack kline #autistic characters #autism coded #autistic experiences #autism posting #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #tfw 2.0 #dadstiel #cas and jack #kelly kline #liek … He means so so so so so so so so much to me I’m gonna throw up #he’s literally peak autism representation in almost every way and it’s literally not even on purpose . it just IS #autism transcending the narrative …

[loving-n0t-heyting]

Out of curiosity what do you dislike about Ada Palmers books

so tbc i made my way thru vol 1 of terra ignota and the first bit of vol 2 before quitting, so im working with a limited sample. but such is the case with dismissal! so here goes:

the prose is... bad. its very likely i should just develop a higher tolerance on this, ik im effectively gatekeeping myself from some very conceptually solid fiction over a relatively superficial skill detached from the stuff that really deeply matters, but the style on a sentence-to-sentence level is just very underwhelming, which is a particular problem when in universe its supposed to be elevated and uplifting (like the speech at renunciation day). i dont mind purple prose but it like marries imo the worst aspects of purple and bland, its a chore to get thru it

the pacing feels sort of mechanical and arbitrary,. every fifty pages, on the dot, theres another twist pulled from the Twist Bag! im told this im proves but its a) not enough to make up for the other deficits and ii) a common thing said when it takes a certain amount of time for ppl to inure themselves to an in fact persistent defect in a long work

Your Kink Is Not My Kink (But Your Kink Is OK)

i do not care about these characters. its hard for me to go into more detail bc i have little grip on what makes characters "work" for me in general but i just. dont care what happens to any of them (besides best not-girl eureka weeksbooth 🤤)

the worldbuilding. by far the biggest letdown. ppl will tell you—repeatedly, at length—that this is the great strength of the series. do not listen to them! they are misguided. ada palmer is really good—gifted, even—at the first step of worldbuilding, much moreso than most writers! shes top notch at coming up with a broad element of the society that makes you think "whoa, i want to know how that works!" and then... you never do. the depths are never plumbed. the depths are never even adequately hinted at. nor are the depths even conspicuously hidden from view! she just... tells you that there are a bunch of totally complicated details, trust me guys, look here i came up with some technobabble and some percentages like i totally promise theres stuff going on behind here! but there just, so aggravatingly obviously isnt! the technobabble does not even give the illusion of depth, the way (imo) it does in almost nowhere, it gives the appearance of earnestly trying to project such an illusion. tears me out of the immersion every time. its probably worth mentioning that i know from firsthand reports that she is into larp stuff irl, which is notorious for attracting ppl with a high tolerance for would be un-suspensors of disbelief. which, again, may be a virtue on their part! but if so its one i lack, at least here

i was talking to birdblog who suggested much of it might be that the work is very capital-L Liberal, and i am very not. which i think is kind of true, but less in that this is a drawback it possesses and more that its a virtue it lacks. theres lots of fiction i enjoy that is transparently committed to big philosophical/moral/political claims im vehemently opposed to! off the top of my head: any shakespeare that involves kings, any bernard shaw that involves Society, log horizon (at least s01, havent seen past it), nausicaa of the valley of the wind (the manga, the movie is sort of opaque philosophically), a bunch of outright propaganda films from wwii (american, british, russian, japanese), several kipling short stories...

but like, i think that a visceral sympathy for the earnestly felt message of a work of art does help one excuse other flaws, and i suspect a lot of my fundamentally Liberalism-oriented friends are able to enjoy the series bc the author shares that same basic vision. which is certainly like, an interesting one! but on its own its not enough to compel me past the artistic demerits by being either spiritually akin to encourage me or sufficiently weird and novel to fascinate me

anyway, tell me why im wrong, terra ignotans! humani nihil a me alienum puto

#ask #spacific-sunrise #terra ignota

[calf-cover]

I suddenly wanted to share some of my thoughts and headcannons. Maybe it's in the wake of the fact that the other day I was working on a Script Bible for my project, maybe I just need to unload. And the other day I came across alchemical illustrations that awakened long-standing associations in me. But the fact remains, meet:

The Mini-Analysis of the Alchemical Aspect of Alagadda (part 1)

We will walk through the Lords of Alagadda, as well as touch on the Ambassador - because yes, most likely even our favorite non-binary narcissistic maniac on louboutins can actually also be associated with alchemy. There will be both reflections on the possible meaning in the canon, and far-reaching headcannons, but I tried to differentiate them as much as possible. 

Let's go! Commence with the Black Lord

*The second part is here*

Let's start in order. It is no longer a secret to anyone that each Lord represents a stage of Great Work. Regarding this, we can also find an interesting thing. Firstly, each alchemist had his own Great Work and described it with deviations from what we usually see on the very first page of wikipedia. Secondly, they were very fond of saying that the Great Work is not about matter, but about spirit and ascension to the divine, these are the stages through which a person passes on the way to perfection. I don't think, however, that it will be very useful for us to analyze, given the perverted nature of Alagadda. But there's no harm in trying, right?

The Black Lord, Wearer of the Mask of Anguish, personifies Nigredo. This is the first stage - decomposition and death. The descent to primordial chaos. Before starting work, it was necessary to dissolve the material, "turn it into water" (which we see in the abilities of the Lord!)

From a spiritual point of view, this is the overthrow of the old, the acceptance of the experience of death, which gives rise to the death of illusions. Therefore, it is designated by the Raven - a regular of the cemetery. Also its symbol is Saturn, the planet of material issues, mundanity and at the same time destruction.

And perhaps we know the most about this Lord. And he appears to us... as a very controversial personality. Our familiar Lord likes to destroy not only objects. He likes to destroy people's minds themselves, which he even often brags about. Every person has illusions that are simply necessary to help them survive and not go crazy. And, perhaps, based on the nature of his stage it is them that he puts an irreversible end to, then replacing them with whatever he wants. Also, considering his condition and exile, we can say that he himself "died", but was “reborn” and came into the form that we know now. And he feels just fine, which also corresponds to his nature - Nigredo's goal is to build something new, to be reborn from the ashes. Let's just be happy for him.

Also, his nature already gives us a lot of suspicions about the possible reasons for his exile. Maybe he destroyed some illusion that he should never have destroyed? Maybe it's the very essence of him? According to one of the stories, Allagadda must, with all its connection with death, deeply hate it and oppose it. Even (and even more so!) crows could become the object of burning hatred. And here is he - its actually embodiment, a fundamental reminder of the true nature of things...

But most of all I like the idea that he just got everyone terribly, because he was an asshole and torment the entire ruling staff lol.

My personal headcanon is a little deeper and goes back to the times when there were very few materials on Alagadda. In my interpretation, the expulsion of the Black Lord is the result of many factors, ranging from personal (considering that despite all their abilities, my Lords turned out to be very human), and ending with just complex processes and interference of forces from the outside. I want to pay attention to one detail. All my lords are almost monochrome, they zealously adhere to their colors - but their masks and their secretions are only white and black. We are all used to masks. But let's talk about the color of the liquids flowing off them. At first, black color of the liquid was originally a consequence of my ignorance. But later turned into one of the plot-forming elements and it became just a pity to cut it out. In fact, this laid the foundation for a large-scale arch, an arch of mystery about why the Lords are forced to endure burns of black poison and what is the meaning of this. So I'm even grateful to myself for this delusion!

Also an interesting detail is that my Black Lord wears an outfit entirely made of feathers, a hat topped with crow's feet, and severed crow wings are sewn on his belt. In my case, Allagadda hates ravens, and such an appearance conveys to him exactly the look of the executioner hung with trophies, linking him with his symbol without contradictions. Well, at least I hope so... And if you are afraid for one particular bird, then you are doing the right thing. Mask has never been merciful to someone who has done him a favor.

Also, my Black Lord is actually intersex on a par with the White Lord. It's just that the latter did not see the point in choosing any gender in which they could be talked about, which attracted much more attention and jokes from the Red Lord. They gets all the barbs, while the Black Lord, as a close relative, is actually the same. But if the Red Lord tries to prick him, he will lose all his piercing with the parts to which it is attached.

#scp headcanons #scp #SCP Foundation #scp fandom #Alagadda #scp 2264 #scp alagadda #lords of alagadda #black lord #long post #tw mentions of violence #tw gender confusion #tw mention of insults

[blackjackkent]

OK, loading up the map in preparation to go hunt down Gortash, and I notice something veeeeeeeery interesting.

Wyrm's Rock waypoint no longer exists.

The quest journal also indicates that invading the Iron Throne and rescuing Ravengard et. al. was the point of no return on any possible alliance with Gortash, not that we were going to take that anyway.

So I'm going to take this to mean that probably everyone in Wyrm's Rock has been given orders to kill us on sight. We need to go there, however, because Gortash is hanging out in his office there waiting for us.

So this is a shame... for them. >:) Time to chug a hill giant potion and Get Down To Business.

Called it.

It looks like we basically have to fight every Flaming Fist between Basilisk Gate and the door of Enver's office - as well as their big metal buddies.

Combat highlights as we work through the fortress:

This is our first time trying to fight a Steel Watcher and goddamn do they have a lot of health. (206 HP on Balanced Difficulty) But they take a fist or a trident or an owlbear claw or a greatsword or a hamster to the face just as well as anybody.

We're trying out Jaheira's new build, which is super fun and allows us to summon a dryad until long rest to travel and fight with us, raise fungal zombies out of dead enemies, and turn into an owlbear and rampage with more or less the same rage mechanic that Karlach and Minsc have. Team Juggernaut now officially includes all four party members. :D

This is our first time trying to fight a Steel Watcher and goddamn do they have a lot of health. (206 HP on Balanced Difficulty) But they take a fist or a trident or an owlbear claw or a greatsword or a hamster to the face just as well as anybody.

They do however also do this when they start getting low health:

This definitely complicates the fight somewhat as it means they need to be finished off at range. They also start making the most incredibly anxiety-inducing noise once this condition is activated. O.O

The bright side is the damage from the explosion also hurts the Watcher's allies; one of the Fist got completely finished off this way.

Sent Jaheira running into the backline as an owlbear and she got this incredible low growl in her voice and went "I go hunting..." I love her.

Apparently her enrage mechanic, which can make nearby creatures Frightened, is also indiscriminate and could make our team afraid as well. I don't blame them but this does mean I need to be somewhat careful with her positioning. XD

Apparently killing a Steel Watcher triggers something called "Pursuit Protocol" which means for 20 turns every Steel Watcher in the city is hostile. This seems not particularly relevant to Hector's situation but I guess might be relevant if you were doing multiplayer and had split the party.

The somewhat nice thing about this team composition is that I've managed to reach a point where almost no one is using spell slots for anything significant. This is probably somewhere near the exact opposite of an optimal party setup, but it does mean short and long rest usage is basically entirely dependent on when the team gets too battered to continue. Which takes a while. XD

These are, however, definitely not easy fights. That self-destruction protocol really is quite devastating when it goes off, particularly combined with the fact that the Steel Watchers seem to be centered around CC skills. Their fundamental strategy seems to be "trap enemy in place and then explode on them".

I completely forgot I had given Karlach, many many moons ago, the Aspect of the Honey Badger, which auto-rages her as a reaction when she's Frightened, Charmed, or Poisoned. This is the first time I've actually seen it proc and it startled me. XD

(I did have to restart this fight once because I did some poor opening strategy before I understood how the Steel Watchers worked. o.o; RIP Tragically for Team Juggernaut, who excel in close quarters, range is very important here, so I don't really get to test out Jaheira's owlbear form. Better strategy: lots of zomber summons, Minsc throwing Nyrula, Hector opening with Stagger Flurry of Blows so he can back out after doing damage, and Karlach taking potshots with a crossbow. Boo keeps getting flattened immediately so we imagine him squeaking encouragement from the sidelines)

Look at me using Strategy and entangling the door where all the Fist are trying to come out of. \o/

This is actually a really hard fight jfc. Five watchers plus adds is no joke.

But we got through in the end, with everyone alive and only one reset! I think I'm getting better at this game. :D

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle #def gonna back out and pop a long rest before going to deal with gortash though #yeeks #ugh we're probably going to have to do this AGAIN upstairs before we can get to him aren't we #shit #aight short rest then upstairs then long rest then gortash #can't afford to waste too many hill giant potions

[cina-full-moon-xanadium]

Shin Kamen Rider: Prologue. 

So! This is a pretty infamous black sheep among Kamen Rider’s many projects. It’s reviled for an edgy level of gore and violence that it almost felt like it needed to do due to the higher age rating; some kinda strange treatment of the female lead; just in general it’s a bit of a poster boy for edgy ‘adult’ takes on popular children’s franchises, and man I think I love it more every time I see it.

It’s with admittance that I’m the crazy one in the room here! The criticisms are at least somewhat warranted, and there’s certainly things I would have done differently. But I’ve seen this movie like 3 or 4 times now and I’ve read the (very closely followed) manga adaption and just every time I dive into this story I find myself focusing on more and more details and appreciating them all the more. 

To start, the core story is a very solid take on the original Kamen Rider story for an adult audience with more nuance and conceit added in. A secret organisation with aims of control and subjugation changes a man at his most fundamental human level, and he struggles with both that and a battle on all sides from that moment on. The shocker equivalent in this movie is painted as very mysterious and ambiguous as to what it truly is at its heart, and something I appreciate is that while agencies like the Police and the CIA are fighting them; that doesn’t make them Shin’s allies and they’re arguably just as shady and unworthy as trust as the people who changes him. The cyborg aspect is eschewed in favour of a biological transformation from a lunatic trying to play god, which leads to both a stunning realistic Kamen Rider design with beautiful effects and a very interesting concept of telepathy; of bonds that transcend words in line with what insects experience. There’s just a lot of good choices here, I think, in taking what’s great about Kamen Rider’s story and heightening it for an adult audience that asks interesting questions of what it means to be alive.

... still! It’s not something that entirely comes together. The Shin Baby is maybe the most infamous hilarious thing in the film, and while I’m usually a fan of the wild things Tokusatsu pulls; this one feels like it’s pushing things just a bit too much and in a way that just doesn’t tonally fit the film. As well, the contrast of a grasshopper’s telepathy and Shin’s familial connections works to demonstrate that kind of bond; but I’d argue also limits what’s done with it -- despite his maniacal nature I think it would have been interesting to dive deeper into the initial bond between Shin and Onizuka, or perhaps replace the baby subplot with someone else who’s been similarly changed. Said baby subplot... also arguably underpins the female lead’s role as one of simply motherhood and existing only for Shin and their baby. Which isn’t fantastic!

Still, for me the positives always end up shining through for this one; and in particular I’m just very glad we have an entry into the Kamen Rider series that gives a much more realistic, biological, grotesque take on Kamen Rider’s existence as a grasshopper man. It’s the kind of thing you never get to see in Tokusatsu in general, never mind Kamen Rider; and I’m happy it exists if only for that and the practical effects that come with it. A lot of it has arguably not aged fantastically, but a fair few are still shockingly effective and I’ll always be a glutton for hammy practical effects over forced CGI.

So that’s where I am on Shin Kamen Rider (not that one) (not that one either). A movie with a lot of clear, obvious failings which doesn’t truly come together; but with a lot of unique traits to offer that I find myself loving more on every rewatch. I absolutely understand where people are coming from on this one and couldn’t easily recommend it to anyone unless you’re already super into Kamen Rider (and at that have some tolerance for gore), but I can’t help but be engrossed in all the good things it had to offer or at least attempted every time I watch it.

#Ride through the 90s

[eyes-of-the-fox]

Talking to my sister I realized something that I want to say especially if you are interested in pursuing music (or any of the arts) in any way shape or form, and as someone in the field, as a tutor and a future professor, as an archivist, I think it's important to fight back against some very, very bad ideas that have taken root.

The idea that music is an exclusive club and you should be born knowing how to play is very new and entirely ridiculous to the point of absurdity.

No one is born knowing how to do anything but breathe. Sometimes even that's a stretch. Artists are people who spent years training mental muscles and hand eye coordination. Of forming unique pathways in their brain.

And like any artist, musicians were born of a servant class, that's why they still wear black suits as a homage to that. A lot of the shift from this into a weird idea of upper crust music schools and every other person with a music degree acting like a snotty French waiter is born of things like civil rights discrimination. A way to shove people out. If you think you're not good enough that's someone trying to trample on your creativity because they're not secure themselves. Music, like art, should always be encouraged, whether you can ever reach a professional level or not, whether anyone thinks you are good or not, because art and music are both things that can be learned with time and practice even if you think you have no innate talent. it doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't matter if you maybe can't play something a traditional way. This is a fundamental aspect of humanity and anyone who tries to squash it should be kicked straight in the ass.

The people running into doorways they can't see through their nostrils need to realize they are not the aristocrats they think they are. They remain servants at the end of the day. Almost nothing has changed in our field, in our role, we are paid, sometimes in cash, sometimes in experience, to teach you. Instead I have heard some professors tell some of their students after only a few weeks that they are wasting their time. What manner of instructor are you? Besides a lousy one? Music, art, writing, it is all a gift. We may play or write for ourselves, but patronage isn't something that stopped existing, it just shifted sources. It's been lost sight of. (If this makes you think of the writer's strike, every artist deserves to be fairly compensated for their work and to be able to pay their bills and eat with the craft they hone for themselves and to share with the world. I am 1000000% behind it and stand with them.)

So what do you need?

45 minutes a day. That's what one of the most famous piano instructors in the world told me and recommended to all of his students. Just 45 minutes of dedicated practice and being patient with yourself. Of slow corrections and putting things together. Of studying theory and the works of others. Of pedagogical approach. Of keeping an open mind. Anything above that is just for fun, don't wear yourself out. The need for competition is new, the idea that it's all a competition is new, it isn't. Stop the competition nonsense unless competition is what you're chasing. Stop the pressure that is dragging up the fear. Some artists are not even in it for the performance aspects, they're here for other reasons.

Music and instruments and art don't belong to just a select group. That's society's bs. Instructors who think otherwise are failing all they should be standing for. For those who may never sound quite right or may never make it in the wide field of performance, the music itself should never be barred from you. If you need music or art help or writing tips, come see me, and if someone is telling you that you shouldn't try, give 'em a finger. You wouldn't stop them from trying, would you? Why let them stop you?

[chill-vibes-but-rainbow-panic]

Alright folks, I gotta ramble to you about Camille Chameleon, there is just too much about her I find interesting.

She had one episode to herself, and then never appeared again (minus the comics, but she only got to be a side character I think); and yet, she is not only my second favourite minor villain, but there is just. So Much to her character.

(This is going to be a long one)

So she, of course, has the average STEM villain backstory of being very obsessed about one specific topic, and also being bullied by her peers; HOWEVER, the way she talks about it, it sounds like she was already being bullied, before she got interested in biology, since she used it as an escape/a pastime (since she had no friends).

Now, of course I can't say the same wasn't true for Megavolt and Bushroot (the two main STEM villains whose backstory we know), but I think it's really cool how Camille's interest in chameleons wasn't just because she naturally found them fascinating, but directly and specifically because she was being bullied.

She flat out states that the reason she liked them so much in her youth, is because of "their ability to fit in anywhere".

Like she felt SO DIFFERENT and EXCLUDED from other children, that she clung onto a creature that can stop itself from sticking out like a sore thumb, and that can make itself fit into any space it is currently in. Something she wanted to be able to do so badly, she literally conducted an experiment on herself, to turn herself into a chameleon. Like she thought there was something so fundamentally different about her, that she could never fit in the way she is now.

And it works. But it also doesn't.

Yes, she physically turns into part-chameleon. Hell, she can even fit in better than a chameleon, because she can actually shape-shift. Yeah, she has the lisp, but for all we know, she already had that before the transformation, and it's not like non-mutant people don't have lisps and stuff. She achieved literally everything she could have hoped for!

But she's still Camille.

She can turn into anyone or anything, but the way she talks, and the way she acts, and her personality are still her own. Even if she had physical characteristics that she was made fun of for that she can now "fix", it doesn't make as much of a difference as she hoped.

And if you really think about it, it makes sense. Even if she had somehow adopted every single aspect of a chameleon, they aren't the most social of animals, especially not in regards to people. There is nothing about chameleons that would have made her be better at socializing with others, which was probably her main problem. Really, the endeavour was doomed from the start.

Now, she's kinda stuck with it. Don't get me wrong, I think she's happy with her new physical form (and she's got pretty cool powers), but it didn't really get her where she wanted to be.

And let's face it; being a mutant in Saint Canard, doesn't seem to be the best time. The vast majority of the ones we see, are all villains. Even the ones that aren't, tend to get mistreated (in the episode with Cement Head, even Darkwing says something like "not bad, for a mutant", to his fellow hero). It's likely that being part-chameleon just got her more outcast by everyone else (and seeing what happened with Bushroot, it was likely she kept getting bullied as an adult).

So what now? She's still equally as socially-outcast as before, she is a mutant, and she's completely broke now on top of that.

Well, there is one place, where seemingly all of Saint Canard's outcasts fit in, and get along.

The villains' league.

I mean, even someone as awkward as Reginald Bushroot has managed to make multiple friends with other villains (even experimenting together with Dr. Fossil in the comics); most of them had a not-so-good past; religiously obsessing about a specific field/topic is almost a given here; and a lot of them are fellow mutants. Combined with the fact that crime can be a pretty good way to make money, becoming a villain under these circumstances seems natural. After all, it happens quite a lot in Saint Canard.

All in all, I find it intriguing, that everything that happened that in Camille's life up to this point, kind of naturally flowed into each other. Some of this might just be speculation - of course - but nothing just happened for the hell of it. Everything was a consequence of something else.

Though, even without all that, Camille's powers, but also her weaknesses, are just really cool to me for some reason <3

I'm just a big fan of deeply analyzing characters that don't typically seem to need to be analyzed that hard :)

#I was thinking about this and ~vibrating~ (/pos) so I couldn't not share it #darkwing duck #darkwing duck 1991 #camille chameleon #WE DON'T EVEN KNOW HER ACTUAL LAST NAME #LIKE SO MANY OF THE OTHER VILLAINS SHE LEFT SO MUCH BEHIND WHEN SHE TURNED TO CRIME #I just love all these guys so much honestly #rambles #long post

[va1ennyx]

MOTHERMAKER Progress Report

(WEEK 1)

INTRO:

Ever since 2020, I've been toying with the idea of making an authentic 'MOTHER' engine within the limitations of RPG Maker.

I bounced from engine-to-engine, trying to find the right Maker to start work in, and eventually settled on RPG Maker MV.

You can even see some of my early progress here!

The hyperfixation eventually subsided after some small adventures in the MOTHER fangame scene, and I took a fairly long hiatus.

Fastforward to 2023 and you'll find me. In my room. Really Fucking Bored.

It started off with me brushing up on my event code, making some practice menus and playing with switches and variables. Eventually I ended up with this.

NOW. For the fun stuff...

TECH! TECH! TEEEECHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Going into this project, I had like. Three Fundamental Rules.

Those being;

All CORE systems must be retroactively achievable in previous versions of RM.

Everything must be achievable through RM's default features (i.e. I must utilize the default map editor, database, etc.)

Plugin/Script usage MUST be kept to an absolute minimum.

This will definitely make things difficult moving forward, but if I wish to create some sorta out-of-the-box MOTHER framework (especially one with THIS scale), I think it's important to adhere to SOME kind of design philosophy.

With these principles in mind, allow me to show you some of the duct tape and bubblegum holding the code together!

Starting with;

Menu Stuff!

In RM, developers are very limited when it comes to customizability, at least out of the box. That changed around the time we first received those iconic Don Miguel fan translations. Many developers were dissatisfied with the default systems given to them, and instead opted to use in-game eventing to manipulate pictures to do whatever they wanted. Very interesting stuff!

However, despite me being able to Talk For Fucking Centuries about RM history, I don't wanna lose too much focus on the subject at hand. You can check out my favorite website ever over here to learn more about the early lil seedlings of our community!

Anyways, almost every graphic-based aspect of this project is done through vanilla eventing. Now, as any Well Seasoned RM Developer can attest, THIS IS NOT A FUN PROCESS!! This is done by modifying variables based on inputs, and referencing those variables to determine where your image should be drawn.

This process can range from easy:

to HARD:

(just reference the scrollbar size for an idea of the process, this kinda shit is NOT something you want to see)

Now, for the save system, it was relatively straightforward. I just changed some switches to record which save the player selected, and a few variables to record which 'flavor' the player chose. These are referenced at various points, such as the battle system, the in-game menus, and even small stuff like dialogue boxes.

For the naming system, well, I haven't actually finished that yet. But you'll undersTAND WHY I PROMISE..

Basically, if I wanted to do this in a way I could "easily" downport to other versions, I had to avoid writing a plugin for it. As you can imagine, eventing an entire custom naming system is Not Fucking Fun. It's fairly easy to do however, just mighty tedious. I did some digging in threads for old RPG Maker MOTHER fangames, and I saw a few examples of people explaining how they made their systems.

Let's call my Chosen Approach 'The Roach Method'. This is named after the creator of a long-since-cancelled fangame called EAGLELAND. Essentially, he made different 'Actor' slots in the database for each letter of a characters name, and referenced them in dialogue through text codes. Once set up, it should look a little something like this;

So on and so forth.

The frontend of my keyboard (and a tiny bit of the backend), is functional. Obviously I can make it prettier and more responsive, but I want to make the naming process smooth first.

I'm thinking of making it so that when you press okay, it triggers a switch to move onto the next letter, and then when you press the cancel key it goes back by one? Idk yet this Keyboard Is The Worst Fucking Thing Ever.

Movement:

Most RM devs know this, but 'pixel' movement doesn't really play nice with the way the engine handles collisions. In my (few) years of Mother Fangame Experience, I've come to learn that the weird pseudo-collision detection utilized by RM (iirc its just a coord check to see if you can move or not) doesn't really Provide the Movement Experience we've come to expect from the MOTHER series.

This is one of the many contentious aspects of making MOTHER fangames in RM. A lot of devs treat (newer) makers like this "out of the box" solution to everything, this framework that you can just absolutely stuff to the brim with plugins to achieve whatever functionality you want. However, in practice, this proves to (almost) never be the case.

It's an especially nasty mindset because it contradicts the reality of gamedev (at least within RM) being a constant uphill battle full of compromise. Unfortunately this stuff takes effort, more effort than just dragging and dropping a JS file into the plugins folder.

tl;dr: plugins and scripts should only ever be complimentary to your event code, don't expect them to do everything for you!

RANT ASIDE!! For the most part, unless you want to make a whole new movement and collision system from scratch, you're gonna wanna stick with the grid. Most grid-based diagonal movement plugins allow you to turn on a setting that lets you clip through the corner of tiles (PLUS, the default follower system is 'MOTHER' enough). This is good because it allows you to make pseudo-slope collisions, which is really useful for stuff like fences and buildings!

You can even see an example of this here!

So yeah, when it comes to movement, the main compromise is choosing between functionality and fluidity.

Mapping:

I'll keep this one brief. The default RM mapping system is less than stellar. However, parallax mapping is NOT a good solution. It leads to massive bloated images inflating file sizes like no tomorrow, long loading screens, and occasionally lag. That's why its better to design your games around the limitations of RM, and maintain your project's scope.

That leads us to our....

CONCLUSION

Unfortunately when it comes to fangaming (specifically within RM), you need to be willing to compromise. You (most likely) will not be able to perfectly replicate your favorite game, and that's okay.

This is where The Big Question really rears it's head;

Are you making a good MOTHER game, or a good RPG Maker MOTHER game?

This is the main conflict when it comes to developing one of these weird lil things, and it's been the death of many a project. After all, you'd have to be Fucking Insane to put yourself through all the eventing bullshit that comes with the territory of anything custom being done in Rm. I mean, sometimes even *I* wonder if i even like doing this, or if I just REALLY wanna flex. Usually it's a lil bit of both. ;)

HOWEVER, it's important to manage your expectations and work ALONGSIDE the limitations of the engine, rather than forcing it to do something it can't and ending up dissatisfied with the final product.

Good read? Good read. See You next week (maybe) mwuaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

#rpgmaker #rmmv #earthbound #mother 3 #mother #rpg maker #gamedev

[chickencowcow]

Every time I create a blend with a group of friends, it does that little thing where it shows how similar your music tastes are. And every single time I've done a blend I've always consistently scored the lowest compatibility with each of my friends. Not by much, mind you -- and we're not terribly incompatible, either. The lowest I've ever gotten is an 89%. Normally I range a 92% to everyone else's 97-99% mark.

It isn't a big deal.

And yet I can't help but feel like it shapes an entire sector of my life. I am, in most ways, just Barely the odd one out. The jigsaw puzzle piece that only fits because someone applied a little bit of force. I know I do, in almost every sense of the word, belong here. I know where I stand and who I stand with. It just stings, a bit.

I think part of the reason why I'm confused about... why people tend to like me so much is that I can't really recall ever being 100% out-and-open honest. I operate on a stuffed-box-in-closet honesty a lot of the time: you know it's there. I know it's there, I just don't really want to open it and explore what's inside.

Part of the reason why it's so refreshing to meet new people is because I can pull from back closet box and show the weirdest fucking shit (like my love for a really niche piece of media) and not have to worry about a pre-existing relationship dynamic getting shifted.

Anyways. I got off track.

92%. Stuffed box in closet.

I'm sure my friends can remember a TV show that had a drastic impact on my life. I'm sure they can remember a video game that fundamentally changed the genre my projects fall into. And even if they didn't, I'm sure I wouldn't mind.

Because I don't talk about them. The names have been put out in the open (M*A*S*H, Monster Hunter World) but the content itself is just. Stuffed into a box. In the closet.

There are times where I'll try and reach out to see if there's a buried similar interest. Sometimes it works, like in the case of Multiple friends with the Mechanisms. Even better is when I get to introduce people to new things that they enjoy. But...

One time I tried showing a favorite musical of mine. Specifically a song that was important to me for a multitude of reasons. And, they just kinda brushed it off. I get it -- different music tastes. But...

In writing, the worst thing you can do is make your reader feel nothing. The sign of bad writing is when your reader is apathetic to what you wrote. And that tends to be true for a lot of aspects of my life. Apathy is the worst emotion to be on the receiving end of.

So I don't really talk about that musical a lot. It's there! It's in the box in the closet, people Know about it, it's just not... discussed.

And, I don't know. Sometimes, late at night, i think about the fact that there are things that I care so very deeply and passionately about that nobody really knows the details about because somewhere along the line I figured out that they fell into the 8% of things that my friends don't know much about and don't Care enough to know about. And it just... sucks. 8% of myself is stuffed in a box in a closet.

#hm. #late night ramblings #this is getting queued up for morning though #because. idk. maybe someone else relates to it and im hoping this will reduce the chance of it getting swallowed up by the night void #ive been having a Time recently i guess. #one of those. musings days #where im close to tears a lot.

[pluviophile-imagines]

The connections people make between Qifrey and Gojo don’t piss me off or anything bc I think they’re kinda natural (like. Every char is gonna be compared to others. Qifrey is a teacher with white hair and a homoerotic bestie and eye-related imagery/plot relevance. Gojo springing to mind makes sense) but I do get why others get annoyed by them bc goofy little “lol medieval gojo” quips r misinterpreting some pretty big aspects of Qifrey’s character. Even on a like….. basic “vibes” level once u meet them both they’re just not the same lmfao

I think what people are really picking up on, more than the aforementioned shallow similarities, is how Qifrey and Gojo are progressives in their respective universes. They’re both disillusioned to their societies’ issues, and both have a desire to enact change—and, in an absence of direct means, work towards doing so through teaching the next generation. That’s why the comparison is brought up as opposed to, say, Aizawa who isn’t shown to have such lofty goals.

But I also do think the comparison is interesting bc where they differ from each other in two specific ways is REALLY fascinating to me.

The first is how they teach. Qifrey is an explicitly paternal figure; he’s warm and very hands-on with teaching the girls, assuring them and doing his best to be there to catch them when they falter. Gojo, in contrast, is NOT what anyone would call a father figure. He’s a mentor, certainly, and he does his best to be there when his students need him (he takes on Megumi after Toji’s death, prevents Yuuji’s execution, etc). Part of this is the age of their respective students (obviously teaching middle schoolers requires a different skill set from teaching high schoolers) and part of this is the nature of the respective societies they’re bringing their students up to participate in (witches are scholars while sorcerers are soldiers)—from a doylist perspective, it also has to do with their respective roles in the story; Gojo is a mentor figure who, by virtue of his sheer power, must be removed from the story for the main character(s) to grow while Qifrey operates as a main character in his own right && a direct parallel/foil to Coco and how she might turn out as an adult—but it’s just as much attributable to who they are as people. Gojo keeps his students at an arm’s length, Qifrey (though still quite secretive and not exactly open) doesn’t.

And the second is their respective fatal flaws, bc they’re direct opposites. Gojo is fundamentally selfless to a fault, to the point where his duty and usefulness as a sorcerer is so wrapped up in his self that he rlly can’t untangle it. Qifrey, meanwhile, is selfish to a fault, and this is explicitly stated in the text—it’s the most volatile aspect of himself, and the part which poses the most danger to the people he cares about (most explicitly Oru & his students as represented by Coco) and even his own desires.

Not only are those differences interesting but on a base level they’d almost seem antithetical to each other (the more paternal mentor is the selfish one, the more hands-off mentor is the selfless one). Yet it makes sense! Qifrey is ruled by emotions more than Gojo is. Part of being “the strongest,” this deified being, means that Gojo pulls away from connection with others—Qifrey as a character doesn’t have to deal with that (in fact it hasn’t been discussed in-canon yet but it’s heavily implied that Oru’s struggles as a prodigy r more analogous to that, resulting in his refusal to officially take on pupils despite a clear enjoyment & proficiency in teaching as shown in his interactions with Qifrey’s students)

N e way. I just think it’s a neat comparison. I don’t think anyone genuinely thinks qifrey and Gojo r that similar JDNDKSND but it’s fun to unpack!

#I REALIZED I FORGOT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY SKDNSKD so u get it now wooo #pattering on the roof #i need a meta tag smfh #but i digress #i almost wish I was well versed enough in naruto to add kakashi to this mix #bc I know gojo gets compared to him a bunch too #but alas I have taste #jkjk it’s just too much of a commitment LMFAOOOO too long for how much interest I have

[cospinol]

...actually this spring’s isekai pickings were a little bit better than usual, not even one 2/10 on my list! isenido just barely scraped by by sparing/pseudo-redeeming touma at the last second, but his plotline was SUCH a downer it made me despise the protagonist enough to knock the whole show down to a 3 when otherwise i’d have at least considered it for a low 4, accrued mainly from the excellent little romance with leviathan (of course her screentime is minimal and the rest of the harem is especially worthless to make up for it) (also, touma’s goofy yandere antics are genuinely a treat, but if i think about them for too long i remember that he literally actually did nothing wrong and my spirit of righteous vengeance starts thinking maybe this shit is a 2 after all). though i will soon have forgotten everything abt this show except for its wonderful myanimelist synopsis

i can’t find a single other website that uses the phrase ‘isekai-normie’, all respect to the mad genius mal editor responsible. the double-isekai aspect is almost so stupid it’s worth talking about but it’s also not even in the damn show, the classmates he got isekai’d with do not even appear in the fucking plot, so i won’t waste more space in this post on it

anyways i was expecting to dole out more 3s this season but everything else managed to accrue enough random charm points to scrape by; fundamentally i’m most affected by tone and this particular set all trended towards the genuinely fluffy and forgiving, which is shocking considering yuusha ga shinda is on this list but i’m a sap so i loved the bullshit reverse body-swap resolution and was even kind of rooting for touka and yuna’s deeply stupid romance by the finale. tensei kizoku is probably the meanest of the bunch but it made up for it in other ways (first and foremost: wataru hatano catboy ojisan. the character he voiced in yuusha ga shinda was also the highlight of that show lol, a seasonal throughline), mostly literally by having great design sense and introducing a whole cast’s worth of new characters every single episode so even though the main harem was another viciously terrible one we essentially ended up spending no time with them at all, i’d mercifully completely forgotten about the elf girl by the time she popped in in the finale

on the flip-side of this is that ‘uncommonly garbage set of love interests’ is the other throughline of the season for some reason, with iseleve being the other main offender, but in that case it’s offset by obvious Main Girl Who Will Win kaori being more than charming enough to balance out the rest of them. i was disappointed that there were so many irritants and distractions in the real-world part of the plot because yuuya using his video game hacks to win at crane games and getting coerced into becoming a fashion model is WAY more interesting than any of the generic isekai antics on the other side of the door (it’s so pathetic it loops around to deeply compelling at points), though i ended up liking the latter half well enough too once the evil onii-sama plot made it to the redemption arc portion. it’s too brief to really write home about or to bump this show up to a 5 but it did remind me pleasantly of a speed-run version of seikoku no dragonar’s prince julius plot, which will always be the gold standard for those (don’t @ me)

and that leaves isesuma Season Two as the only one on the list i haven’t talked about yet but it’s an outlier that i feel like i have to treat a little differently just because it’s very funny as a case study; when the first season aired in 2017 it was genuinely the worst thing i’d ever seen and i didn’t hesitate to give it a 2/10, while this season felt pretty much as average as one of these can get, and there’s no doubt in my mind that they are of pretty much the exact same quality. the only thing that really stood out this season was how little of a shit touya gives about his harem, even with him being a clueless/reluctant-type protagonist i remember the previous season actually attempting to build (even being mostly dedicated to building...?) romance arcs with the sisters in particular but this season girls he’s JUST met just get added to the fiancé roster *by the other girls* without even consulting him and the show doesn’t even play it as a joke. the mal synopsis for this one presents the harem as the main hook but the only time touya seems to care about anything in this entire season is the mecha engineering plotline, if you close your eyes you can pretend it really is still summer 2017 and you’re watching knight’s & magic..................... anyways it still just barely snags a 4 by actually putting in the white-haired catboy rival (i guess he isn’t actually a catboy but i spent all of s1′s intro thinking he was so that’s ingrained as fact for me) who was in all of s1′s damn intro but did not appear in the show at any point. he’s here now!!!!

also, i did drop katsukami at episode 4. self-respect moments

#txt #i watched a lot of other stuff this season but this only the isekai corner gets a full write-up. it's not honest work!!!!! #also i'm still technically not done with the other stuff (i have a couple eps of raeliana and the second half of death play's finale to go) #and then i guess tousouchuu is following us into summer yayyy woohoo #isekai log