#but full of acheivements also

[musicfromtheceiling]

artvsartist with a rare pic of the wood cryptid behind this account. Those two past years i got quite happy with how i draw characters, this year especially i put an emphasis on costumes and better poses and colors.

Two years ago i couldn't dare imagining drawing a face and i would shriek and sweat when i had to draw a close up of a face and credit luck if i manage to draw something acceptable . I still got a long way to go especially on body type and age diversity (i only draw teens and kids lmao), but next year i want to go back drawing environments and design some flying machine for my lore

#it's tough to gather crumbs of time and energy to draw and i feel like i'm not doing anything #looking back though i did do some things which gives me a bit of courage to continue going forward #this year was really tough life wise #but full of acheivements also #i wish i could just quit my day job #when i've got my citizenship i can rest #next year maybe #artvsartist

[strohller27]

.

#i’ve been working through some stuff in my head #and I’ve realised that so much of my life I’ve occupied the spaces in-between #like I acheived certain things in my life because I was literally the only one who stepped up #but it was also like. I wasn’t the first choice for something I was always just what was available #or I tried to carve out something for myself and it ended up either being taken away from me or getting ruined somehow #like when I was in the pipe band I became drum major because I was literally the only drummer (not that anyone really liked me… #i was just. the only choice there was until someone else came along). #or when I moved up the ladder at the tutoring service it was during Covid and I had to work so much harder because #we just didn’t have a full team. #or when I had to do my undergraduate thesis by myself because also covid #and now having to do my research project basically 100% by myself because my advisor ‘‘can’t’’ advise me #(​except he can apparently write me some exam questions next semester) #idk I just feel like the extra frozen water on the side of the ice cube tray of life #and now I’m in Canada and I’m trying to make a place for myself #I want this to work out. I want to be able to solidify the life that I want without having to live on the fucking edge #I’m tired of staying in my ‘lane’ when my ‘lane’ has always been ‘standing on the side to let others pass’ #Listen up queers I am allowed to take up space and I am occupying this part of the lane #if you don’t like it then you can make your own fucking lane #I’m just trying to make a life in this ridiculous precarious world I don’t want to have to play it safe anymore #I want to get into a PhD programme and study what I want to study #I want to meet someone I can trust with myself when I’m fragile and someone who trusts me with themself when they’re fragile #I want to live in a house I don’t have to worry about losing and make enough money to live comfortably #I want to stop merely surviving and start *living* #and I’m going to do everything in my power to achieve that

[dreamsurvivormultiplayer]

Hello I feel it's very important I say this for meme context reasons:

I was at the VidCon dsmp panel. The two who asked the TNT duo question were both cosplaying TNT duo. The Wilbur asking the question did this casual lean on their chair when they got the mic and you could instantly tell what this individual was going to ask. They had a duty to the memes. They both looked smug about their query knowing the chaos it would wreak. Those two were prepared. They knew what they had to do and I respect them so goddamn much for that.

Anyways enjoy that knowledge.

#dsmp #dream smp #mcyt #vidcon #tnt duo #i know it was breifly referenced the first person was in quackity cosplay #but they were in like the full blue tracksuit and beanie #and their Wilbur had the yellow sweater and trench coat #you saw them and just knew they were gonna be the ones to fufill the meme. taking fate into their own hands. #but for a second there were 2 other questions that felt like they might ask #which was: a Sally question. equally for memes. or to propose to one another (based more on them seeming nervous) #but yeah huge respect to those two. meme destiny acheived. proud of u. #this felt important to add since i dont think you could see the audience in the stream #also the crowd was so huge. there were several hundred people standing.

[narutomaki]

dreamt my ex fiance came onto me and wanted to get back together to get married and also sexually and I woke up so so so so so sad.

like the anger of only having slept like 2-2 1/2 hours masked it initially, but I slept another 2 hours, and now i just feel sick to my stomach with want and self-disgust

like. can we not have these kinds of dreams while I'm sleeping over in their couch while spending the night with them?

#im SO SAD DUDE. #i hate this i hate this i hate this so much i just want to be NORMAL. #its been almost a full year since they called everything off and im just. i feel like i have blood on my hands dude. i do not sane abt this #sorry. #i should get more sleep tbh. idk. #also i feel slightly too old to be sleeping over on a couch but ive also had back problems since i was like 16. so. #oh godm 10 years huh? doesnt give us much hope of permanent improvement huh? #i hate. pain management being onku acheivable through consistent life style changes becuase i am SO BAD AT THEM. #oh okay no i need to step back and breath and distract myself bcus im spiralling #neg #vent #nsft neg

[alfamangle]

Man I feel like ive finally been fully initiated into tumblr after all these years lmao

#alfpost #acheivement get: first anon hate. it wasn't even good at its job #it just caused me to chuckle thne delete it. pro tip: if ur writing anon hate dont end it w :/ it adds a comedic tone to it #also dont write anon hate you'd probably be more productive at rakin leaves in a tornado #but its still really funny and wished to share. yippe finally a full tumblr citizen. since i first got here YEARS ago

[shycoffeeland]

'MY GIRL' - SIMON 'GHOST' RILEY X F!141!READER (001)

Content tags: Reader is rescued, kidnap, mentioned torture, PTSD, petname of choice is "Love."

All thoughts had left your head as you'd been wrestled to the ground. The butt of the rifle hit you in the temple, and the last thing you felt as your vision went blurry was blood trickling down your forehead, your earpiece going haywire as the team heard it unfold.

When you woke up fully, you were tied to a chair. It was broken in places and the splinters were digging into your thighs. Your braids were coming loose and your hair was sticking to your forehead with sweat. The chair was an old wooden dining chair with armrests, and you were strapped in by the waist, wrists and ankles with multiple rounds of a thin wire that dug into you in all the wrong places. Finally getting a decent look around the room you'd been confined to, it was obvious it was a torture room. No windows, one single light. The walls were dirty, with layers upon layers of grime and dried bloodstains. There were tools on the walls, and it'd not taken long for you to corroborate each one with a mark on your body. The bruised and cuts that lined your arms started to sting as you fully returned to consciousness, and your lower legs began to burn. You couldn't bend down enough to fully see them, but you knew it had to be bad. The pain radiated up your legs, and sank deep into your flesh, a burning ache that only worsened the more you breathed. Every second felt like a minute. Every minute felt like an hour. The nausea crept up your throat only aggravated by the stench of blood and burnt flesh. Did they burn you? You couldn't tell. Everything felt the same anyway. You were about to die.

The door opened, and the single lightbulb above you flickered on.

One of your captors stood before you, your own gun in his hands. You looked over his gear, and saw that he'd also stolen your combat knives and your earpiece. He laughed at you, and squat down to your eye level, taking a hand under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

"I'm impressed. A little girl playing soldiers should've broken by now." His voice was disgusting, like nails on a chalkboard.

You wanted so badly to headbut him and spit in his face, but you had to play this one smart, and no matter how much you wanted to kill him, he had the gun and you didn't. You kept quiet, and he moved his hand, the heel of it firmly underneath your chin and his fingernails digging into your bottom lip. You could smell the dirt and blood on him, and his breath stank something fierce.

'A little girl playing soldiers', knowing full well you probably outranked him. It was unusual to have such a highly decorated female soldier in any kind of specops, and it would always make you a target. Men like him would never be frightened by a woman. Its why they have to resort to taking you, tying you up and drugging you out of your mind while they torture you. You'd never break.

"L/N...," A second, thickly accented voice joined the haze, and you looked over to see another man tear the patch off your tac vest, reading your embroidered surname. Countless years in the service; being known only as your last name, and in recent years the ranks you'd acheived- but it sounded so wrong. Your vision began to clear slightly as you focused on him. "Where are your task force?"

"How the fuck am I meant to know? Do you honestly expect me to know that?" You looked up at him, trying your hardest to focus and not slur your words. You sounded drunk. "I haven't seen or spoken to the team since you've had me here, or even moved from this chair."

He didn't like that.

Somehow it hurt more to get a backhand across the face than the rest of your injuries, it left your head pounding.

"Don't be stupid. Do you think we don't know there's a plan in place? Where are they now?" He almost hissed, his notably rancid halitosis making you almost yak right in his face.

Your eyes fell shut, as the world around you began to swim.

"Plan probably went sideways because you took one of ours." That voice was unmistakable. You could practically see the flag on his cap. Gaz had come to get you.

Your captor stopped every movement as the barrel of a gun was held to the back of his head. The sudden movement caused you to creak your eyes open a little.

Ghost and Gaz had found you, leaving a trail of bodies in their wake as they got to where you were kept. Ghost's eyes shifted once he fully looked at you, and took in the sight of what they had done. He said nothing, his eyes boring holes in the wall behind you as the focus left them. He was barely there.

The man who had been messing with your vest was now slumped in a heap, kicked under the table. The only threat left in the room was cornered by two of the best.

"Ghost, mate," Gaz tried to encourage Simon to let go of the gun. "We need him alive. L/N, you okay? You awake?"

You mumbled, struggling against your restraints.

Gaz spoke into his radio. "Captain? Yeah we found her. She's not in a good way, we need medical." A pause. "Alright sir." Another pause. "Yes sir." A third pause that was longer than the rest. You couldn't make out what was being said. "Understood."

Ghost and Gaz swapped places, Gaz giving him a nod of understanding as they both moved to their respective tasks. Freeing you, and securing the now unconscious militia member.

Through the mask, you could usually make out each detail of his face. Now, you could barely hold onto the sight of his eyes. He said nothing as he worked to free you, his head bowed as he carefully avoided your wounds as he worked the wire back out and away from your wrists and from your ankles. You blinked, and he had gone behind you, using his bolt cutters to get through the thick accumulation of wire that bound you by the waist to the chair.

"Stay with it." You heard him say very quietly. "It's nothing." You couldn't figure out if he was speaking to you, or trying to get through it himself.

When you opened your eyes again, you were being carried. Your face was rubbing against the velcro on the back of his tac vest, the main sensation you focused on as you tried to make sense of the echoing conversation that was filling the empty building. The familiar sound of his breathing managed to calm you down a little, as you unconsciously had grown to associate it with rest and safety. His hold on you was firm, yet gentle, he didnt want to hurt you yet desperatly didnt want to risk dropping you, he knew you hated rescue carries. You were facing the floor, watching the dust and sand moving with each footstep of the two soldiers.

Suddenly, the doors opened, and a harsh light of the morning bled in.

"Fucking hell." You heard the Captain's voice as he caught sight of the three of you. It was distant, but still carried that familiar tone that made you almost try to stand at attention.

"You take her." Gaz kept both hands firmly on his rifle, nodding towards the vehicles that had gathered infront of the building. "I'll make sure that twat doesn't wake up."

Ghost felt you start struggling, and tried speaking to you, adjusting you so you were more upright over his shoulders than dangling off one, you'd fallen off the first time. "I can't put you down yet, just stay still alright? You'll be alright Love." His voice was quiet, but as he adjusted you he moved your head closer to him, a small but comforting gesture.

The medical team were ready to receive you. It took a good while to convince the lieutenant to let go of you. He watched as Price sent in another team to go meet Sergeant Garrick and retrieve the man from the enemy militia. The medics set you down and began working on you immediately.

"Go back to base." Price said, knowing the tone in his voice meant 'go with her, Simon.' Adjusting and reloading his guns, taking a drag from his cigar. "I need someone reliable to hold down the fort. We won't be far behind." He gave him a pat on the back before going to join the others.

The ride back to base was way too long with the supplies that were transportable. He sat in the front of the truck, knowing that the space to work in the back was limited. He didn't want to get in the way. He also couldn't bear looking at you in such a state. He'd barely managed to look at himself in the mirror after what he'd gone through in Mexico. He swore he'd never let anyone he loved go through something so awful, and the last thing he wanted was to be so helpless.

The second they got back, he all but jumped out of the truck, barking orders at anyone who'd listen. The rest of the medical team back at base had everything prepped and ready to treat you as per the reports they received en route. This time, Simon didn't even think. He went in with you, and stayed in the room while the treated you through your fleeting glimpses of consciousness, you could see that skull face, you didn't need to focus on his face, even as a blur, the skull was still there. Your Simon was with you. Everything would be okay.

A few days , a few sedatives and some heavy antibiotics later, you woke up to the faint sound of birds and humming at your bedside.

part two coming asap!

#ghost cod #ghost x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #ghost cod x reader #angst x reader #angst #call of duty

[mrandmrssnowbaird]

synopsis - Coriolanus convinces himself it doesn't count if he doesn't use his hands

masturbation, orgasm denial, self denial, hands-free orgasm, nipple play (if you squint), lots of begging (even though he's alone yup mhm), shame lots and lots of shame

When he first starts touching himself, Coriolanus convinces himself it doesn't count if he doesn't actually touch himself. This took many forms over the years.

The first few times, he finds actually putting his hands down his pants or pulling them down and wrapping his hand around his erection made him feel bad. Guilty. Oh, he does it, there's no doubt - he can't just stop.

He tries to stop. Only to find himself in situations like the time where he literally almost comes in his pants watching a classmate chew on the end of her pen, shifting in his seat and unable to stop, relieved he's in the back row as his erection gets rubbed in between his thigh and uniform pants. Thank fucking christ for all the layers.

That day in class gives him an idea and when he gets home later, he drops his bag on the floor, locks his bedroom door, and doesn't take a stitch of clothing off.

The way his hard, weeping length had been getting stimulated by his clothes had been fucking incredible, and despite being in a room full of people, the shame had been minimal.

Coriolanus will take whatever he can get at this point.

He blows out a shaking breath as he settles and almost immediately he feels his dick harden fully. His breath starts to quicken almost immediately after that. How long has in been? Months since he's given in?

Too long. Far, far too long if he's practically coming all over himself in class. What would he have done if he had?

He can feel the weight of his uniform on his body, the extra fabric at his waist, and it feels like being lightly touched all over as Coriolanus shifts around a little, trying to recreate the sensation he'd felt in class. Or build upon it.

He feels his face heat up as he shifts his hips. Fuck - if felt so incredibly good.

He whines in relief, breath quickening further. If this felt good enough to make him cum then he could feel this kind of pleasure much more often - maybe not all the time, but enough that Coriolanus doesn't come in fucking class.

The stimulation isn't quite enough and so he shifts to the side and down to acheive the goal of tightening his boxers and pants arount his crotch and yes,yes,yes-!

That was it, right there. It feels a little awkward otherwise but Coriolanus can't bring himself to care right now. Biting his lip, he shakily reaches into his boxers, adjusting his hard cock so it was resting against his stomach instead of his thigh. This is even better and Coriolanus is soon gripping his threadbare blankets in his fingers as he humps up just a little - that's all it takes - in order to stimulate his erection that has been neglected for too long.

"Oh... fuck..." Coriolanus breathes, mouth falling open as his hips jerked up, clumsy, body in no way used to this motion. He whimpers, wanting so badly to press the palm of his hand against the front of his crimson uniform pants, it would be so fucking easy to cum like that, and so quick.

He tries slowing it down and that actually feels better - Coriolanus lets out a low whine with nearly every slow, sensuous thrust of his hips. As his chest begins to heave, he feels the fabric of his shirt brush against his nipples and this causes him to cry out in surprise.

He's past caring if anyone can hear him.

"Damnit - please -" He whines to himself as he draws closer, hips slowly rocking back and forth. His boxers are now wet and a little slick with his precum, which makes Coriolanus whimper to himself, then let out frustrated sobs.

Frustrated for several reasons - one because it feels so fucking good the way his cock is sliding more easily but it also brings him back to the filthy reality of what he's doing - squirming around on his own bed like a desperate little slut -

"Oh god," Coriolanus chokes, hips jerking faster the second he thought the word slut - then he couldn't stop thinking it - slutslutslutyou'resuchawhineydesperatelittleslut

"Please, please -" His hips are moving in fast little jerks, underside of his erection grinding against the inside of his pants, which now has a wet spot at the front. He is so close, so close but it didn't seem to be quite enough pressure, or something, and Coriolanus was starting to panic.

"C'mon, p-please! I can't-" Coriolanus can't give in and touch himself now. He's already gotten this far! But fuck, he's gotten this far, and he needs to cum or else he thinks he might actually go a little crazy.

The tears come before he does, and he can't take it anymore. Whimpering and whining, Coriolanus turns onto his side and bunches his blankets in his hands, then he presses the mess of fabric against him, grinding into it, knee coming up to wrap one leg around it a bit as his dick erupts, cum coating the inside of his boxers.

He sobs, turning his face into his arm. Coriolanus can't stay completely quiet - it's been far too long.

The orgasm seems to mount as he humps into the fabric more, thinking he's riding out his orgasm, his hot release aiding in how fast and how much his cock was sliding in his boxers, and it feels a little different than when he was dry, not better or worse, but different.

He feels just as lewd as if he was using his hand. Just as disgusting and weak and pathetic - animals fucking did this!

But another orgasm is coming. Coriolanus wants it to stop - it was supposed to be done by now! He sucks in a breath, only to release it again in sobs, tears soaking his crumpled jacket.

"Please - god - just one more, please, I won't again, I won't do this again I swear," He mutters to himself.

He wants it harder, wants to fuck something harder, wrap his hand around his dick, touch himself all day because what does it matter now, he's a filthy slut anyway -

Coriolanus cums again with a grunt, hips stuttering, slowing for a moment, then moving even faster, as what feels like a third orgasm of some kind hits him to ride it all out.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuckyesyespleasec'monfuck,"

Another grunt and he knows he's spent. His entire body goes limp as he sobs into his arm. How humiliating. Cum was everywhere through out his pants and - christ he had been so eager to get off that he hadn't even taken his shoes off for fucks sake.

He's pathetic, and Coriolanus feels sick with himself. His father would be ashamed - either because of his lack of self control or whatever made him such a pussy that he couldn't just jerk off. Get it over with.

He cries for awhile, feeling sorry for himself, and disgusted.

He tries to comfort himself. He never did really touch himself, not technically, and it isn't entirely his fault. That girl with the pen had to know what she looked like and he knows masturbation is fuckin normal.

Sniffling, Coriolanus pushes himself up to start the process of cleaning up, wondering just how long he's going to be able to last this time before he gives in again...

#coriolanus snow #sub coriolanus #sub coryo #coriolanus snow x lucy gray baird #coriolanus x lucy gray #snowbaird #lucy gray baird #mrslucygraysnow #lucy gray baird rp #ballad of songbirds and snakes #solo coriolanus #coriolanus solo #coriolanus smut #coriolanus snow smut #sub! coriolanus #sub! coryo #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #lucy gray #corionalus snow #lucy gray x coriolanus #lucy gray rp #tbosas rp #coriolanus fanfiction #coryo snow #should chapter 2 be coryo x reader? :)

[miqotepotatoe]

I blame my sister for this au because she made me watch the miraculous evil alt universe special and the idea of an evil universe has inspired me.

Behold the Reverse AU.

Wu ends up getting bit by the Devourer instead of Garmadon, and he ends up taking over Ninjago. Ninjago is full of crime, with many gangs fighting over territory and tormenting the civillians trying to survive. Wu rules with an iron fist, often sending out his ninja to do his dirty work like kill whoever stands in his way. No one knows who lies beneath the masks, but their mere presence strikes fear in everyone.

There is a light of hope in the form of the Resistance. Led by Garmadon, he hopes to reclaim the Golden Weapons and defeat his brother to restore peace to Ninjago. Alongside Misako, Nya & Lloyd, they aid the people and fend of Wu's ninja.

While the ninja are mercilous, underneath their masks they're just four sad teen boys who are also trying to survive in this cruel world.

The Shadow Ninja hates having to be this mercillous killer, but he has no other choice, or Wu will stop providing medicine for his sick mother. He can't loose her, not like he lost his father to some corrput tax collectors, even if it means having to break his promise to his mother.

The Azure Ninja has no where else to go. He ran away from his neglectful father, who cares more about collecting money then his own son. Wu found him, and despite how much he wants to run away, where does he go? The streets are no place for a child to wander around.

The Ivory Ninja knows no other life. He is souless machine built to serve Wu. He is the loyalast out of the ninja to Wu. But...why does he feel disgusted whenever he takes a life? Why does he feel sympsthetic to those who run away from him in fear? What would a life among the people be like?

The Scarlet Ninja has only one goal, save his sister from Garmadon, no matter what he has to do. Garmadon kidnapped his sister, who knows what he's doing to her! He will endure the pain, the violence, if it means he'll be able to get her back. If only this samurai stopped getting in his way.

Slowly but surely, the Ninja defect and join the Resistance...after many conflicted emotions and acheiving their True Potentials by finally defying their Master. But they still have a lot of work to do to restore peace, especially with an even greater evil presence hiding in the shadows...

#ninjago #ninjago au #reverse au #kai jiang-smith #jay walker #zane julien #cole brookstone #lloyd garmadon #nya jiang-smith #lord garmadon #master wu #i appologise for the pain this au will cause #don't worry there's a happy end #but first...trauma & angst #the ninjas pasts are slightly different in the reverse world #this mostly takes place durring s1 & s2

[the-desert-beast]

I want to just go insane about my sylvari and their shapeshifter stuff, okay so- The twilight tree is an elonian sylvari tree.

All 9 Firstborn after the death of Primordus gain the ability to shapeshift after completing "in-universe collection acheivs"- basically, their mom has to teach them about what The Fuck Just Happened. Maelgwyn is so so so out of it for like three weeks. The rest of the Firstborn are recovering from the absolute SHOCK of the [ORDEAL] (I have to eleborate another time i dont wanna get distracted also its like a whole thing anyway-) They start with this "collection acheivs" thing and it's just. Long. not difficult or anything. Also I will detail the collection acheivs thing eventually instead of just referring to it like that LMAO The actual shapeshifting is something "adult" twilight tree sylvari have full control over;

they have their humanoid form which is a basic twilight tree sylvari form.

They have the "second form" which is a sort of demi-human design (this is just digigrade peets and a tail)

the third form is also demi-human but it's much MUCH more creature; "horns" more "scales" almost-snouts, digigrade peets, tail etc last and final form is beastie-mode; four legged cryptid cat creature. Full on Monster.

I'm describing these like "tiers" but honestly it's more spectrum-like it's just that it's easier to explain like this.

The common trait of the beastiemode is that they are all ambush predators. cat-like. cryptid. monsters. absolute monsters. Beastie-mode is just a tad shorter than the large cat-like creatures the firstborn use as mounts (more on that another time teehee :3) Each of the firstborn has a unique beastie-mode that goes off their normal Motifs, builds, fighting styles, choice of combat, etc.

Maelgwyn is bulky but agile; he can overpower others with ease. His design is primal, it's like, bestial. It's spiked, his scars are still visible, he LOOKS like a BEAST, a monster.

Kynwyl is much like Maelgwyn but less bulky- still lithe and agile. His design has a dual-blades motif. He's very fast, and tends to overwhelm his opponents; Maelgwyn does this as a humanoid but doesn't really Need to as a beastie. Kynwyl's design keeps his sleek vibes. Keeps his markings. He stays calm he stays focused, he's VERY formidable in beastie mode and a very hard target to pin down. (Also retains his willbender shadowstep abilities. because I say so. <3)

Rhosyn is a monster, absolute beast; muscular and STRONG. Just, barrels into enemies and they all die. (/joking) But she's so goddamn strong and vicious. She can turn FAST and while she's extremely dangerous, she is still Rhosyn. (Berserker-brained, himbo, easily distracted/fucked with in battle.) Her design is very, firey, very berserker-esque.

Faeryl is smaller, FAST, sneaky, retains her mesmer powers in beastie mode (I.E can fucking teleport and just PELT you with a series of smaller attacks very quickly.) She keeps her little, "royal fae" vibes within her design.

Llacheu is, right between Fae & Kynwyl for fighting style. Sleek, fast, hard to pin down, sneak attacks a lot. Very very difficult to account for in group fights. Bastard. Continues to be Bastard in beastiemode. extremely annoying to fight but exceptionally easy to piss off so you can gain the upper-hand.

Evnyssyen's form is SO sleek and clean, colorful, made to escape and to run. He can get herself into SO many little spots and ledges and just. Leave. He's still not to be fucked with when cornered. His magic is kept around even in beastiemode aswell, though it's more like, enchanted claws for an attack bonus. Being an elementalist and all. She keeps her DECORATED eleborate and regal design. So many colors all over her.

Morven is fucking huge. I mean it's already nine feet tall in humanoid form; imagine it in beastiemode. nightmare. fucking huge. It's style of combat in beastiemode is to. Intimidate and scare the shit out of you with it's beloved little companions and it's larger cat-like companion. If you see it's eyes; it's too late for you. Scary and nightmare fuel and just. yeah, terrifying. Morven's design is, shadows. You cannot spot it. it's just. MAXIMUM cryptid.

Cerwyn is. Gigantic. and to paraphrase in a jokey way; his fighting style is "good fucking luck." cerwyn doesnt have a solidified design or motifs yet. and last but not least-

Lynette, who is also, fast, agile, hard to hit, but CLEVER. Pinning her down is extremely difficult, you can barely succeed if ever. Her fighting style includes condition damage; in beastiemode she is venomous, just so fast and violent as well.

Each of them also has their own personal realtionship to the shapeshifting thing.

Maelgwyn fucking despises it he has SO MUCH baggage attached to shapeshifting that he just never addressed.

Cerwyn absolutely loves beastiemode and basically lives in it once the twilight sylvari gain the ability to transform.

Kynwyl enjoys beastiemode and shapeshifting in general a normal amount. It's not anything he's super attached to but it IS fun. and he does feel freer with it as an option. He'd feel like he lost a part of himself if he couldn't shapeshift. (he's also not against using it for nsfw reasons. why tf not honestly. he has the same attitude with his guardian magic tbf. also it is hot to him too. anyway.) The rest of them basically just feel normal about it like it's just a facet of their being and they enjoy using it. Rhosyn & Faeryl really think it's fucking awesome to just. be Creature for awhile. some of them just chill out in a demi-human shapeshifted state. some of them prefer beastiemode. and some like Kynwyl or Maelgwyn prefer daily life be just humanoid mode no shapeshifting. Saplings of the twilight tree are banned from shapeshifting before they can handle the magic-management related to shapeshifting. The ones who break that rule and try to shapeshift anyway have a bit of a moment, go a little bit feral, kind of overstimulated-cat mode. in this state they have to rely on a mentor (kynwyl or cerwyn) to help them calm down and ease out of it. most saplings don't try to shapeshift again for a while. Twilight tree sylvari generally have a favorite shapeshifted state and for most it is humanoid or demi-human but it's not too uncommon to see some of them chilling out at home around their tree in beastiemode.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #my ocs #ocposting #twilighttreesylvari

[horse-girl-anthy]

The Rose Bride: Power from Passivity

when I was first seriously trying to understand RGU, I struggled the most with how to understand Anthy. I was seeing a lot of people frame her as the mastermind behind all the manipulations in the show, yet somehow, this didn't feel right to me. on the other end, I would see people who defended Anthy's innocence in the events of the story, either by selective reading or blaming Akio as the cause of everything. I also couldn't quite accept this view, though I did feel it was important that Anthy not be condemned. through a lot of time and thinking, I have come to my own conclusions about Anthy, her powers, and her role in the narrative.

in an interview, lead writer Enokido describes Anthy as a personification of when reality enters a drama. going further, he states that because he and the other writers do not know everything about reality, they cannot know everything about Anthy, either:

Enokido: Because even us creators can’t understand Anthy’s inner thoughts (*note: naimen = inner feelings, interiority, true self). We created her while in search of that.

–. You can’t understand anything?

Enokido: That’s right. After all, there are things about “reality” that neither I nor Ikuhara can understand. Like you know how in this world we live in, there are things we think are absurd or things we can’t confirm.

from these statements, it's clear that Anthy was designed as a character it is impossible to fully grasp.

Ikuhara echoed Enokido's description of Anthy as reality in this interview, going on to call her "a rare sort of character." there are many reasons why she could be considered unique, but I want to focus here on other things Ikuhara said about Anthy in this interview:

Ikuhara: As for whether Anthy's character herself is venemous, I don't know the answer, and while I depict her in ways that make you suspect she is, I plan to never show you whether that's out of ill will or not.

the ambiguity of Anthy's character is very important. she always has plausible deniablity; her worst deeds are implied from a clinical distance. further, Ikuhara brings up the question of intentions. even when it's unambiguous that Anthy is doing something (for instance, helping Akio to poison Kanae in episode 32), there's usually not much indication of what Anthy is feeling or thinking. it's like she's not even there.

I've always been struck by this little scene from the beginning of episode 23, when Anthy is employed at being Mamiya. she's totally alone here. if Anthy is doing Akio's bidding with full consciousness, then why do we get this scene? but on the other hand, can I say that Anthy doesn't know what's going on? of all the characters in the show, she has the best idea of what's really going on in the social system. again, contradiction and cognitive dissonance.

Anthy is magic, not of this world. can I, as a normal human being, imagine what it would be like to one second be there, and then the next to vanish out of my clothes? it's impossible.

then the question becomes, what is the nature of Anthy's magic? she is called a witch for her crime of taking the prince away from the world. that was her last free act: I would argue that Anthy's magic as a witch is not actually something that she uses as a free agent. this was first put into words for me by Alice on the Imagine Me & Utena podcast (I believe it was their focus episode on Anthy)--after listening to others debate on if Anthy truly has bad intentions or not, Alice asked, does Anthy use magic, or does magic work through her?

similarly, in his episode commentary for episode 23, Ikuhara wrote:

People’s happiness or unhappiness shouldn’t be determined by struggles over the device called “the Rose Bride.”

I find the term "device" to be an interesting one. from a meta perspective, Anthy is a device for the writers: she is used within the narrative to acheive the story's aims. she is a device for Akio: a thing to be used. in a parodoxical way, Anthy's disempowerment is her power, and her passivity allows the world to take shape around her.

Anthy became the Rose Bride through the trauma of the Swords of Hate. they left her empty. in episode 38, she says, "I thought I was just the Rose Bride, just a doll with no heart." the emotional core of the story is the search for her true self, Utena's desire to reach the heart that Anthy had forgotten she once had. however, Anthy plays her role as the Rose Bride to the end, even after she has shown her true face to Utena.

how exactly do Anthy's powers as the Rose Bride work? as a device, a mechanism, I believe that the Rose Bride simply responds to the social environment of Ohtori, with the final aim of bringing about the "End of the World." this is getting kind of esoteric, so I will use an example from the show to illustrate: a reading of Miki's early interactions with Anthy.

did Anthy go and play piano at the end of episode four in order to manipulate Miki to duel in the next episode? or is she simply manifesting what is in his heart? watching how Anthy interacts with others carefully, she operates as a projector screen, becoming whatever someone is fixated on. further, the way that they view her can radically affect the way she is portrayed from episode to episode. while Anthy becomes a demure angel for Miki, she is a two-faced schemer in Juri episodes.

the process doesn't stop here. next, the Rose Bride brings reality crashing down on characters' heads.

during Miki's first duel with Utena, Anthy suddenly cries out in support of Utena. this action seems wildly out of character for her supposed role in the duels. again, I believe Anthy does this because of a truth buried within Miki himself. the falsity of his pursuit of the shining thing is what Anthy exposes, revealing that the object of his affections might not be what it seems. as the Rose Bride, Anthy repeatedly destroys other characters' self-images, their worlds.

of course, Akio does appear to be pulling the strings behind Anthy's machinations throughout the narrative. perhaps this is because Akio is the End of the World, a harbringer of the death of the self. however, Akio seems incapable of riding out the process himself, staying stuck within the system, its enforcer and slave. and although he subjugates Anthy, he is tormented by the fact that she is beyond his grasp no matter what he does.

Anthy must have gotten some satisfaction out of Akio's torment, but she is more tormented than he could ever imagine. in a way, I feel as though Anthy is somewhat prideful of her position as Rose Bride; she feels that it is unchangable, a fact of life, and her adjustment to it is what allows her to keep surviving. thus, accepting things without complaint is wise. Utena is the one who challenges that, threatening Anthy with change, which can be terrifying even when what you know is endless suffering.

Anthy stabbing Utena is one of the only times that she acts out of her true feelings and her role as the Rose Bride in unison. here, I don't want to parse out all of the complex interpersonal reasons Anthy the person had to stab Utena, but instead point out that it continues to fit with the Rose Bride's purpose: she brings reality to Utena. this was always going to be the ending to her desire to be a prince, cemented when Utena takes the swords for Anthy.

the true sickness of Anthy's passivity is on display with her acceptance of the Swords of Hate. although the Rose Bride is the greatest instrument of power in Ohtori, it does nothing for Anthy herself; it comes at the cost of her sacrifice. that it is why it is difficult to frame Anthy as a mastermind. it was never going to be as easy as Anthy just making different choices, since sacrifice is demanded by the swords. she was only getting out of her position by someone taking her place, so she resigned herself. that resignation made her the subaltern base of Ohtori, able to take any form within it but her own. she must exit to be a real person.

#rgu #commentary #sigh. writing about Anthy is too hard. but i'll probably do it again bc i never run out of thoughts

[sissytrapjamie]

I've only recently discovered the detrans kink and I just thought I'd write out all the things I'd love to do you. You mtf boys are driving me so insane with ideas. You're such a good boy, realizing what he really is deep down, and I would just love to help; start by switching out all your estrogen for only the strongest testosterone, throw out your make up, get rid of your hair removal cream, and just watch as you become my huge stud. I'll make you work out to make the best of all the proper male hormones I'm pumping into you, I'll refuse to let you shave, I'll force you to wear tight boxers so I could see how that huge male cock is growing out and swelling, how full your balls are because they're back to functioning right. I'll also keep increasing the size of your boxers until it becomes clear just how big and huge that real man's cock is. I can't believe you ever pretended to be a girl with that huge breeding set between your legs. How hairy and muscular you are. How rigid and sharp and broad your real body is. I'll even make you pump your cock to your body's progress back to what it was meant to be.

How does that sound, you good boy?

I'm already restricted from shaving anywhere and have some boxers, along with an outfit or two for boymoding. Reverting my body sounds acheivable through either breaking me into submision or making sure I can't find way to get my hands back on medication. Bulking up is something I'd be really resistant to, that could take some discipline, and I could easily try everything to bite and scratch my way away from a haircut...

#mtf boy #mtf detrans kink #misgender kink #fakegirl

[plaguery]

IM HAVING THOUGHTS okay so for sybile veinne's glowing undead life... its going to be centered around the vampirism/rainbowdrinking, classic queer metaphor involved. but the actual general metaphor is going to be for daywalkers/draft dodgers (trolls are nocturnal & their sun is evil and will fry them alive if theyre in it too long aaand are all sent off at a certain age to go do space colonization, for those unaware).

heaaar my made up lore out: first, rainbowdrinkers typically can avoid the universal draft by either genuinely dying and having that go on record or faking their deaths and then living their lives mostly unsurveilled in the light of day.

the genetic trait that induces vampirism is typically only found in jades, but it can be induced in any troll that gets rainbowdrinker blood with the trait running through their system, either by drinking or injecting it. so trolls that feel called to the rainbowdrinker lifestyle are able to acheive this through connections with 'born' rainbowdrinkers who will administer their blood to them. blood consumed for the sole purpose of nourishment is referred to as 'spectrum' and blood shared for vampiric maintenance is referred to as 'drink'. those who share their blood are known to 'give drink' and those who receive the blood to maintain their vampiric state are those who 'take drink'.

drink can be obtained in many ways through whatever type of connections those involved find themselves in: some stick to traditional close knit, committed bonds akin to a familiar (but its more like a genuine dom/sub kind of thing. it can be abusive like any relationship can but most cases arent). those are rarer as more givers nowadays have opened up their available drink to more parties, either selling their drink, giving drink amongst their known circle, giving their drink free under certain terms, or indiscriminately giving out drink under first come, first served (as drink can only be given out so many times within a certain amount of time before it weakens the giver)

so rainbowdrinkers, givers or takers of drink, all can live under the light of the sun. givers typically genuinely die at some point before turning, have that recorded, and dodge the draft that way. most takers will fake their deaths to avoid the draft as well. some givers & takers have went forward with the draft though.

howeeever, there are other draft dodgers that have found various other ways to (mostly) exist as daywalkers, sometimes balancing a day and night life, sometimes toughing it out as a full daywalker. they are few and far between and often dont get away with it as well as rainbowdrinkers (who also dont always get off scot free), but they exist.

so why it comes down to daywalking/draft dodging is the pull away from the prescribed alternian life of living at night, every troll for themselves, all to eventually get shipped off to commit atrocities in the empress' name. rainbowdrinkers have their own community and subculture that inherently rests on this principle of sharing and relying on each other, even if its not perfect. other daywalkers have their own subculture too, finding more success at living through banding together. and theyre all just desperately trying to survive, maybe even thrive in the circumstances theyre in.

#sybile veinne's glowing undead life

[single-malt-scotch]

looking at the only two full body bdubs i have drawn and my newest one (right) isnt a "proper" design reference by any means and was also drawn way faster. but its wild because the left one was a full year ago. and even with less time spent on the new right one i can still see my subtle improvements which makes me happy bc i still dont think of myself as a human artist lol.

it might not seem obvious to others but i enjoy how i draw on the right bc i can acheive a good body, anatomy, etc *really fast* unlike the left where i spent a long ass time getting it right (and the errors i see look awkward where as being "sloppy" on the right feels stylistic). and i love the detail, but knowing i can whip up something on the right in like 12 minutes?? yeah

#i have been an animal drawer for so long i just dont think abt it #even tho more of the last 2 years or so has been just humans lol

[devvinn1ie]

an (un)helpful guide to 1-E

I just realized I barely talked about each individual 1-E kid, so here's that. Basically just a quick summary of everyone.

(going in order of the seating chart)

Wameku Nanase:

Vice class-representative

Quirk: Volume, she's able to change the volume of any sound (from really blasting something to full-on muting it)

serious + uptight attitude, but also a natural born leader who looks out for others

Kudasai Rena:

Class representative

Quirk: Memory Edition, Three parts basically: she members everything, can look into the memories of others, and change other people's memories.

A natural-born leader, seems put together and organized, but is secretly stressed.

Tanya Alfred:

one of the few foreign exchange students of the 1st year class

Quirk: Limb Generation, she can generate additional limbs (arms, legs, fingers) on her body

confident, strong-willed, and hardworking. One she sets her mind on something, she will acheive it

Murasaki Hideki:

1/3 of the mian trio

Quirk: Geometry, can make any three-dimensional shape from thin air, but at a cost of his energy

cold and sharp-tongued, but has a softer side that only few see

Kikuyu Seishi:

Quirk: Jackson's Chameleon (often shortened to just "Chameleon"), a mutant quirk that makes him resemble a chameleon and makes him capable od doing what ever a chameleon can.

a quiet person, ot because he hates them but more like he lacks social skills. A socially awkward person who just trying his best.

Miyama Yashiro:

Quirk: Stone Statue: can turn any inanimate object (+ eventually living things) into stone with all five fingers. All effects can be reversed.

A prideful person with an outward personality, a kinda a handful. Bros just a big goof tho

Kinzoku Ryosei:

Quirk: Can generate (via iron content in blood) + manipulate metals at a certain range. Honestly, the fact he failed the entrance exam baffles like most of the class.

He’s a little goofy guy, often rambling about absolute nonsense but also a sweetheart

Kangae Noriko: 

⅔ of the main trio

Main character moment

Quirk: Mind reader, literally the most self-explanatory one, she can read the mind of other people.

Impulsive and a bit of an airhead, but determined to meet her goals

Tsuzuko Kamon:

Quirk: plush dool, makes him resemble that of a stuffed animal. Essentially makes him like a human shield (Cant feel pain, absorbs shocks, ect)

Sweet guy who radiates innocence, but is kinda oblivious tho

Fujimoto Ikumi:

3/3 of the mian trio

Quirk: Yarn, her hair is yarn that can be manipulated and extended to great lengths.

Quiet and sweet when you first meet her, but can become just as lively as Noriko and Hideki with the right conditions.

Chijō Daishin:

Quirk: Rock, can manipulate and generate rocks via minerals form the food he eats

Energetic and confident, but alos very, very loud

Hedoro Emika:

Quirk: Slime Body, she can turn into a little blob of slime, can increase/decrease in size, trap things in her body, and fit through tight spaces

A cheerful person who likes being with other people can easily talk to anyone without any problems

Ikenoue Hakaru:

Quirk: Melt Off, by touching an inanimate object (or even people) with all five fingers, he can turn anything into a more liquified state.

Straightforward, apathetic, overly sarcastic, and very, very honest. One of the least social people in the class.

Kagayaku Amiyuki:

Quirk: Spherical Light, which can take sun rays and convert them into light orbs. Can be used to attack or just light up a room, can be stored

Very anti-social, not like “ew people”, more like “AAAAAA PEOPLE”, quiet and often tries to avoid her classmates

Hinazuki Satoru:

Quirk: Switch Blade, his hands can turn into switchblades with one swift motion with his hands (Edward Scissorhands, more like Edward Knifehands)

A laidback guy who can get along with practically anyone

Anabuki Masada:

“Quirk”: Bro isn't human, they can fire beams of light, extend their limb lengths, and have leg jets, They’re also fireproof and waterproof, with his only real weakness being electrocution

A being curious about the world around him, but is working on expressing emotion

Daiba Tokuro:

Quirk: Bomb, can make explosives via the proteins in his cells, honestly one of the most powerful students in the class

Just seems like a pretty normal dude, but with the right conditions, he can turn into a chaotic, super acceptive, and hyperactive,

Yamazaki Takage:

Quirk: Hallucination, can make others start to hallucinate by making eye contact with them

Despite his cheerful exterior, they are often described as weird and peculiar 

Hanasaka Kao:

Quirk: Plant Growth, can grow plants from her body via planting seeds into her body (it's a fun process)

The older sister figure in the class, she often looks out for them and just wishes to protect them

Sakamata Kazuya:

Quirk: Orca, can do whatever a orca can (in/out of water)

A very quiet person who often mind his own business, but tends to notice the smallest things

#oc #ocs #bnha #mha #mha oc #bnha oc #mha ocs #bnha ocs #im still more attached to them than the actual series #theyre so silly #i hate the fact that im older than all of them now

[crepuscularqueens]

For the wip game: twin tag and how to achieve immortality? Cause they both sound like such fun!

thank you very very much!

twin tag is me painstakingly going through every max and silver scene (any scene they appear in generally and also when they appear together) to compare their journeys and explore how they parallel and mirror each other through out the show. i only got through season one so far, but it is my little pet project bc i love trying to dissect these two.

The season one finale finds Max much more comfortable in the position she has secured for herself. She is trusted and her knowledge is valued by her business partner, she is the safest we have seen her from physical threat and violence. By contrast, Silver is directly unsuccessful in fulfilling the terms he’s been allowed on the crew by, and his existence on the crew and his life itself is threatened by another crew member. Though he is successful in engaging in the fight he and Flint are adamant about, the results are disastrous and it ends with the imminent threat of trial hanging over his and his partner’s (Flint) heads.

Silver is, however, saved by the alliance that he had managed to form with Randall. Randall willingly and without being asked to injured De Groot (minorly) to save Silver’s life. Randall’s motives do remain ambiguous to the audience, though he clearly harbors loyalty to Silver for getting him back on the crew, and though the underlying motive for Silver was selfish in that case so would Randall needing to keep Silver alive so he can keep his place on board the Walrus. We also see the foreshadowing of Silver’s future in the relationship.

Max is able to confront Eleanor in her own way, showing the other woman her own worth and abilities. It was clear in Eleanor’s treatment of Max while they were together that she did not consider Max’s ambitions to be as important as her own, and this directly led to the end of their relationship. Eleanor thought Max would have the realization that her own dreams were lesser than Eleanor’s and give them up for Eleanor’s protection and be satisfied with the idea of belonging to Eleanor. Max is able to show that her own ambitions are not only valid and realistic, but now solid enough to be a potential threat to Eleanor’s, all without placing any direct threats. This acts to foreshadow the way Max will choose her path in direct response to the way she saw Eleanor wield her power

how to acheive immortality is a sort kind of harrow the ninth au/reimagining or recontextualizing of treasure island. after the events of black sails and up until the events of treasure island, silver slowly starts to realize that he can't die because he's absorbed flint's soul. when the news of flint's death in pre treasure island comes, billy goes to silver with the map and a plan to recover the cache. depending on your point of view, this either goes horribly wrong or extremely right.

the story of treasure island continues, intercut with flashbacks to black sails events as if flint never existed, becoming more and more unsettling.

"It isn’t my intention to upset, alienate, or drive you away with this course of action,” you told her.

“I never imagined that to be your motivation here,” she said, setting down the tin cup and with it all pretense.

“I’m not asking for your blessing or agreement, either.”

The woman closed her eyes, briefly hanging her head, only the loose curls framing her face affected by this movement, swinging while the rest stayed carefully pinned back in its typical fashion. You were then fixed with the full power of her direct eye contact, tired but strong, as she reached into the folds of her plain woolen dress and withdrew a thick stack of neatly folded envelopes.

“If you are determined to stay on this road, there are things that we must settle first,” Max was resolute as she removed papers from the first envelope, the remainder coming to rest on the counter, “I cannot be certain you will return from this, and I need assurance that if you disappear with the cache or you fail to make it back, my existence in this place will be protected.”

You looked blankly at the papers in front of you for a moment, absorbing the information, “You want to get married.”

“What I want is security,” she said in reply.

“I know,” and you did, you knew the nature of your relationship and that the traditional bonds of marriage were not desired by either of you in this situation, “In truth, we should have done this long ago.”

“I never had reason to believe I would outlast you here,” was her careful response, “Given the condition you exist within.”

Your brows drew with these words, the reminder that came with them. It was something the two of you had avoided speaking of ever since you had first discovered its existence.

#dr-lizortecho #ask #mine #twin tag

[congregamus]

Engaging with the Mystery

Whatever this play of material available to the senses — able to be both inside and outside of us at the same time — it is deeply mysterious, and very troubling. For we know that subject/object relations go in both directions (which is to say that we are not able to observe without interacting). Meanwhile, we also "know" that "objects", such as we consider them, do not exist except in mental contruction, of which our whole world is the metaphor cast broadly (probably too broadly).

The angst I so regularly off-load into this space is my angst that comes from mystic revelation: the understanding of the dire necessity of engaging responsibily with the mysterious material at simultaneous, multiple levels, but not having a spiritual master to help guide me with trusted techniques.

So, an example of engaging with the material at simultaneous multiple levels is the understanding (revelation) that I am doing with "spirit" almost exactly what I did with piano and composition (the grasping of the category of equal-tempered harmony in full) in that I had only rudimentary instruction from pretty questionable sources, and I "took that and ran with it" to the astonishment of most anyone paying attention. Which is to say that I was largely able to intuit common practice harmonically (at least until, say Wolf) all by myself, and do it right. There were, however, eventual necessary corrections to my autodidactic approach. It is the same now with my spiritual growth. I have acheived the synthesis of a lot of material, but there is yet something like "expressionism" to deal with, metaphorically speaking, and I need guidance in that. Or maybe not. I may be able to eek out a decent understanding of that, too, without help, though help would be most welcome.

They say when the student is ready the guru appears! (They also say that an experienced charlatan can see a "mark" coming a mile away lol)