#but Then i watched the later half of s2 and realized they actually Did interact and it was lowkey kinda flirty

[k-s-morgan]

Was there any point in Hannibal when Hannibal was “done” with Will and didn’t want anything to do with him anymore? The only occasion I can think of is when Hannibal ran away to Florence, but in truth, he expects Will to find him there, to go after him. He also tried to open Will’s head, but that was a half-attempt, we know Hannibal didn’t actually want to move forward with it. So even though he was truly hurt and upset with Will in these situations that still wasn’t enough to make him be “done” with Will, to never want to see or be with Will again. Will never had to win him over again, let’s say.

Or do you think there was a time in the show when Hannibal had been fed up with Will and wanted to end things between them forever? And to be free of Will for good?

And what about Will? Was the breakup scene genuine or did he just break up with Hannibal to make him surrender?

Sorry this is super long, I love your metas and value your opinion so much. Thank you.

Hey, thanks so much, both for your words and for an interesting ask!

I agree with your view, I don't believe Hannibal ever felt done with Will. From their first meeting, he was fascinated and enamoured, and it only got worse from there on, gaining depth with each important moment.

I think Hannibal wanted to be done with Will after the events of S2. However, he never succeeded in actually feeling it. The sharpest point of betrayal happened in S2 finale, yet even then, Hannibal cut Will in a way that allowed him to survive. He wasn't willing to kill him and fully let go of him, and being in Europe with Bedelia didn't help. I love watching him during this arc: in E1, he really tries to enjoy himself, but he just can't. He's living a seemingly perfect life, but he's moody, chaotic and impulsive, and misery shines through occasionally. It's not long before Hannibal's longing for Will becomes so intense that he succumbs to it and starts drawing Will’s and others' attention, turning suicidal in this process.

I know many people adore the scene from E5, where Jack beats Hannibal up, but this is actually the only scene I really struggle with watching. I don't feel satisfied or gleeful there - yes, Hannibal deserved it, but it's also clear that he feels so down emotionally that he doesn't bother to actually fight back. He's tired, upset, and disillusioned, and seeing such a life-loving, happy-go-lucky man plunge into such a hopeless depression is difficult to me. Love for Will and his inability to let go brought Hannibal to the very bottom.

Same with Dolce: like you said, it was a half-attempt. Hannibal might have wanted to be done with Will again here, but like in Mizumono, he found himself incapable of realizing this wish. Will is in his blood, he can't shake him off.

As for Will, ooh, everything about him is always so complicated! Was Will ever done with Hannibal? No. Did he ever want to be done with him? Practically all the time. Did he think he managed to overcome him at some points? Probably. Will is notorious for lying to himself so effectively that he buys his own BS.

Regarding surrender, I think the break-up scene was mostly genuine. Will truly needed a break after their latest round of mutual hurt. He's a very conflicted person and sometimes he needs a lot of time to analyze everything and figure out what he feels. I think he is lying to Hannibal later, when he claims he manipulated him into giving himself up. For one thing, this was a pretty unpredictable reaction. From what Will knows, during their last interactions, Hannibal lashed out violently in Mizumono out of the feeling of betrayal and because Will tried to take his freedom from him. This freedom clearly meant the world for him - he and Will discussed this. In Dolce, Hannibal felt betrayed and tried to kill Will again (in Will’s view). What would make Will realize with such clarity that if he rejects Hannibal again, he’s going to change his approach and give himself up? Maybe a subconscious part of him hoped for it, but I don’t see it as 100% deliberate manipulation. Not to mention that he looks surprised to me when he sees Hannibal’s surrender.

#hannibal #hannigram #will graham #hannibal lecter #meta #season 3

[kaypeace21]

Will’s fear of clowns

*Ps -not mine. this is a submission from an anon. tw: for s.a. It’s an interesting submission. ANON-please make a tumblr account already . I’m begging you XD

Hi! It’s me, Lonnie Meth Anon. Back with more depressing thoughts about Lonnie!

I just read your post on Jonathan’s ab*se at the hands of Lonnie, and I second it all. It breaks my heart. But it also got me thinking deeper about Will’s fear of clowns. I think you’re right that part of the horror for Will is that the clown attacks in bed. The bed is, obviously, like you say, a common site for s*xual assault. (Doesn’t El’s picture of “three legged Brenner” also have a bed in it? In a picture with not much else?) The fact that Will needed Joyce to sleep with him for a week suggests he was specifically feeling unsafe in bed, or at night. 

But maybe it’s not just the location of the attack in Poltergeist that Will found so harrowing. Maybe it’s the combination of that location with the fact of a clown being the attacker. 

I think Lonnie might have dressed up as a clown for Will’s birthday one year, and something happened. 

In this instance, I don’t think Joyce would know what happened. I think the incident in her mind would be something like “Lonnie dressed up and Will was scared of the costume”. She might even have thought it was cute. Just a typical little kid fear of something mundane. When she teases him about Poltergeist, she doesn’t actually say the movie was the START of his fear of clowns. Just that he was afraid of that particular clown. The general fear of clowns could have been an older one, going back to when Will was even younger.

Maybe Will even liked clowns, before whatever happened with Lonnie turned them into a source of fear for him. Will has a lion plushie (lions are commonly found in the circus) and the circus seems like the kind of vibrant, colorful environment full of outcast, that a young gay kid would really enjoy. If Will did like circuses and Lonnie poisoned that for him, that’s just another reason to hate Lonnie. But it definitely seems possible. 

Lonnie is a deadbeat dad in general, but we’ve seen before that he’s capable of faking the “family man” act in front of Joyce and their neighbors. We’ve also seen that even though he treats Will horribly, he would also try and keep Will on his side with father son bonding activities, like baseball. And Will’s birthday is one of the few occasions Lonnie makes a half-assed kind of effort, even when there’s nothing directly in it for him. He sends that card, even though it’s late. Maybe Joyce made called him up and made him send it, but she always seemed happy to keep Lonnie out of the picture. She didn’t even want to involve him when Will went missing. And we know Jonathan would never try and facilitate more interactions between Lonnie and Will. So it seems like Lonnie did this of his own accord, when he realized he’d missed the day. Kind of weird. And it’s classic abuser behavior, to make contact on an anniversary date, reminding you they exist and you can’t escape them. Reminding you to keep quiet. Or hoping you’ll miss them, remember the “good times” when they made an effort, and let them back into your life. (Ugh.)

So, anyway, back to my theory. Young Will likes circuses, and the Byers family are poor, so they can’t afford to take him to one, or throw him a party at an ice cream parlor or a bowling alley, like other kids. It makes sense that they would have a party at home instead, and that the family themselves might dress up. We know Joyce made Will’s Ghostbusters costume in season two, and a clown is a pretty easy costume. Most of it is just make up. It’s possible the whole thing was Joyce’s idea, and she made the costume, and Lonnie just went along with it to look like a good dad in her eyes. 

Remember how we see Bob (Will’s new father figure) dressing up in costume for Halloween? Joyce loves it. This is a thing good dads do, to have fun with their kids. That’s also the same episode we see Will scared by a guy in a clown costume, and Jonathan is hyper-protective of him that night. School is okay, but he doesn’t want him trick or treating. (Like he knows that school is a safe environment, but in other contexts, costumes and parties might be a trigger for Will.) Jonathan is convinced to leave Will and “let him have fun” and what happens? The clown attacks. Later that night Jonathan goes to a costume party himself, where he finds Nancy upset and takes her safely home.  Maybe this is how Will’s birthday party ended - with Jonathan finding Will upset, and trying to comfort him. The whole night could be playing out like a parallel to that birthday party, from Jonathan’s perspective. 

What actually happened with Will and Lonnie is up for debate. It’s possible there was a s*xual assault, and that’s why the clown scene in Poltergeist was such a trigger for Will. Or maybe Lonnie thought circuses weren’t “manly” enough for his son to like, and actively tried to scare Will, so he wouldn’t like them anymore. It’s hard to know. Something would have happened though, and probably something pretty formative, because the fear of clowns lasts a long time. 

Something else interesting is that when Mr Clarke is talking about the Upside Down in season one, he uses the metaphor of the flea and the acrobat. Acrobats are a main act in the circus, and, well … fleas. Flea circuses. That’s a thing. Maybe it’s a hint that the trauma that created the Upside Down was circus / clown - related?

Kali, El, and their gang wear clown masks too, when they’re going to confront their childhood trauma, and the child-like Alexei is surrounded by clowns when he is killed at the fair. 

Clowns are just so associated with birthday parties and little kids, that it doesn’t seem like a coincidence to me they’re Will’s biggest fear. Especially as the show keeps dropping hints about Lonnie and Will’s birthday. It feels like there’s more to the story. I have a horrible feeling SOMETHING happened. 

RESPONE (kaypeace):

I think it’s very possible-that maybe he did dress as a clown for Will’s birthday and something happened. We have alexi (paralleled to Will) playing carnival games with kids. Then he's attacked by the Lonnie-look alike : and alexi looks at his wound then stares at all the clowns laughing around him. Joyce and Murray find Alexi bleeding/dy*ng next to a clown statue. As joyce looks in horror and Murray says to her, he was “only gone for a second” (which sounds like something you’d say in relation to a kid you were supposed to watch-running off ). We also had sarah at age 7 die while wearing a gown with clowns on it (Will: it was a 7 the demogorgan it got me). Death of innocence symbolism? Hopper also describes his depression as a cave- he goes through the carnival ride where it mentions a "cave of horrors", which had decor of a tiger and a clown painting. So yeah... whatever happened probably isn't good. So- there may be some symbolism there in relation to Will’s past. Not only because (like I and you have mentioned before) Lonnie is highly associated with birthdays. And canonically we know he mentally scarred jonathan on his b-day. But also, s4’s ‘victor creel’ may be an easteregg to the xmen character victor creed- who had a tradition of tra*matizing family members specifically on their bdays

As another alternative:I could also totally see Lonnie “ruining” circuses for Will because it’s not “manly” to him. Like how Jonathan liked thumper the rabbit-from the film bambi. in the film, Thumper is bambi’s bff, and the hunters are the bad guys who k*ll Bambi’s mother and terrorize all the wildlife. SO yeah- making Jonathan become a hunter, and k*ll a rabbit ,despite this fact, is really messed up. And shows Lonnie has already tried to ‘ruin’ things the boys like. By mentally scarring them in one way or another…

I also mentioned how Will’s bday could even be a trigger for jonathan in a diff post.

if the s4 bts calender hinting it’ll be near Will’s bday and easter it could be relevant to Jonathan.we know in s1 el has tra*matic flashbacks when seeing certain things- coke, closet, cat, etc. And Will in s2 has his ‘anniversary effect’ where memories flood back based on the time of year.But like … Easter has bunnies - could seeing rabbits jog stuff up for Jonathan? El seeing a cat made her have a flashback of brenner trying to make her kill a cat. Would Jonathan seeing like Easter bunny decor jog up a flashback of lonnie making him kill a rabbit? (It happened on his bday too). So Will’s b day being around easter would only fuel that memory. (heck even popped balloons may trigger gunshot symbolism idk). And then for Will there is clowns that could be a tr*gger at a party.

The flea and the acrobat analogy (in relation to Will and circuses is very interesting) and could be foreshadowing- it’s even a title for an episode so I feel like it’s narratively an important hint to …something. similar to a s1 ep being called “the bathtub”.  Also, Will was compared to a circus flea- which were placed in an enclosed space, where heat was applied as they jumped  and tried to escape the increasing temperatures as they burned .Which could relate to my theory about Will having a se*zure due his body overheating due to Lonnie injecting him with m*th.

 If Will’s bday is in s4- I feel like Lonnie will come back in some capacity (flashback or literally). The ‘sorry, I forgot you b day’ card from Lonnie in s2, in Lonnie’s shed Joyce mentioning Will’s b day, the rainbow ‘happy birthday cup’ placed next to Will at Mike’s -while Will explains the supernatural, Lonnie already tra*matizing Jonathan on his bday, etc…

#submission #stranger things theory #will byers #lonnie byers

[slimy-vore-bog]

(Un)Necessary Evil

Disclaimer: all my work is meant to be non-sexual N/SF/W interaction is not appreciated

Okay, so a few warnings for this story... I try to go into the topic of the fear of death as deeply as I can. It could be way worse, but just as a warning, if you’re not ready to be reminded of death at the moment, give this story a skip.

For the more casual stuff that’s usually uncomfortable for safe vore people: this story contains mentions of hard and fatal vore, but none happen.

Oh, and as always; this is an Owl House fic.

Actually this is a rewrite of this old story that I didn’t post to tags called A Betrayal of Trust (But a Necessary Evil)

The two are very different and this is definitely a better story.

Anyway, I should probably just get onto the story... Oh wait, this story is set before s2 ep2 Escaping Expulsion. And obviously post that a lot of stuff will change, but I don’t feel like creating an entire canon divergent AU

Ao3

Word Count: 14k

***

I wonder why Amity wants to see me now… Luz stood in the market place, looking around for her friend. We’re going to meet up later anyway. She spotted the green haired witch in the distance, feeling a burst of excitement. I guess I don’t mind seeing her one more time before later today! She grinned, before she waved for her. “Hey Amity, there you were!”

Luz stopped herself, just as she was about to run towards her. Something seemed… off about her. She looked sad, as she stared back at Luz. “You are Amity, right?” Luz suddenly felt embarrassed. Please tell me I didn’t mistake some random person for Amity.  

Luz didn’t know whether she should feel relieved or more worried, when her friend nodded.

Luz hesitated, before she decided to run up to her. “I almost thought you were somebody else!” She smiled brightly at her, but Amity didn’t look at her. “Um,” Luz felt a little awkward, “so, why’d you want to see me now, instead of later?”

Amity glanced up at her, before quickly looking down into her bag. “I wanted to give you something.” She fiddled around in it, seeming to get more miserable by the second. “It’s really important that you wear this later, okay?” Amity looked up into Luz’s eyes.

Luz felt a bit shocked by Amity’s seriousness about this. “Why? What do I have to wear?” Why would Amity force her to wear something? This is weird. She didn’t like feeling forced to do something.

Amity looked unsure, as she dropped the thing she was holding back in her bag. Her eyes flicked around, as she grabbed her own hand, nervously fidgeting with her fingers. “Well…” her eyes widened, as she grabbed the thing out of the bag. “Sorry, I focused on your first question!”

Luz watched, as she brought out a necklace with multiple yellow gemstones on it. “Woah!” Luz exclaimed, suddenly feeling like she had to study it closer. “Is it glowing?” The gemstones on it seemed to be giving off a dim yellow light from them. “What makes it glow? Is it a spell? Or are they magic rocks?” Luz brought her hand out to take it, before she remembered that wearing a mysterious glowing necklace sounded like a horrible idea. “But, wait, why do I have to wear it?”

Amity curled the chain around her fingers, glancing around again. “Well… uh…” she let it fall through her fingers down in her other hand, as her brow furrowed. “It’s…” she hesitated again, looking a bit more frustrated. “It’s just really important to me that you wear it, can’t you do it for me?” She held the necklace out to her.

Luz hesitated, “I don’t want to sound suspicious of you, but…” she trailed off unsurely. “It’s just…” She wrapped one of her hoodie strings around her finger. “Are you sure it’s safe? Where did you get it from?”

Amity looked even more frustrated. “I promise it’s safe, just take it already!”  

She held it out to her, and Luz reluctantly took it out of her hands. “Sorry…” Luz opened the clasp, putting the necklace on, feeling a tiny jolt run through her body. Luz didn’t understand how she could feel it, or what she felt, but she was pretty sure it had to have a strong spell in it. Or Amity had a really weird and unsettling way of pranking. “I just don’t get why it’s so important.”

Amity looked away from her again. “I’m sorry too… I don’t want-” She quickly glanced over at Luz, before she turned around. “I’m just sorry…” She began walking away, before she turned to look back at Luz one more time. “See you later…”

Luz didn’t know what to do, “Uh, yeah! See you!” She lifted her hand to wave, but Amity had already turned around.

The glow of her necklace caught her attention, as she looked down to the ground. She picked up the biggest gemstone between her fingers. She had to admit; it was a pretty necklace. I wonder what makes it glow like that? She held it up to her face, watching it in awe. It’s really cool. She did a little jump out of excitement. And it wasn’t actually bad!

She suddenly felt even worse about her distrust of Amity. I’ll apologize to her again later today…

She let go of the necklace, as she turned to head back to the Owl House.

¨¨

Luz hated waiting; being patient wasn’t exactly her strong suit… But that didn’t change the fact that there were still a few hours until she could see Amity again, and she couldn’t come up with anything to do. Maybe I can talk to King for a bit? She was pretty sure she had seen him napping on the couch, but he might have woken up.

She went downstairs to check, but he hadn’t.

Luz thought about waking him up, just to make up for the times he had accidentally done it to her, whenever he unconsciously poked her with his sharp horn. But she decided that was a little too mean of her. She carefully sat down on the other side of the couch, resting her chin on her hand, tapping her foot against the floor.

I wonder where the others are? She looked around the living room, but there wasn’t anybody else in there. Strange, Lilith is normally in here… She was starting to feel a little too restless. I’ll go look around.

¨¨

She looked around the house, both inside and out, but she couldn’t find anybody anywhere. Well, except for Hooty, but she didn’t really feel like talking to him. Ever. She shook her head, not wanting to think about all the weird stuff she had seen him do, before she sat down on the couch again. Maybe King knows where they went?

She watched the tiny demon for a few moments, trying to decide if she should wake him up or not, before his fur bristled along his tail. “Stop staring at me, creep…” He mumbled, barely opening his eyes. “That’s the sixth time I’ve caught you doing that.” The look in his eyes told her that he definitely knew there were the times he hadn’t caught her.

Luz flushed in embarrassment. “It’s not my fault you’re so cute!” She shook her head. “But that’s not why I’m staring.” She pulled her legs up on the couch, as King stretched. “Did Eda and Lilith say where they were going? I haven’t seen them since I left to meet Amity.”

King yawned, before his eyes widened in surprise and he got up. “What’s that?” He pointed to Luz’s necklace. “When did you get that?”

Luz fidgeted with the necklace, as soon as he pointed it out. “Amity gave it to me.”

King reached for the necklace, but Luz pulled away. “I wanna see it!”

Luz didn’t want him to touch it. It’s mine; Amity gave it to me. “You don’t use your hands-” she cut herself off, before King even made a face, “-paws, to see.” Luz wasn’t sure it was as wide of a statement in the demon realm as it was back in her own, already King having paws was different, but that didn’t change that he specifically didn’t.

King scowled, before he sat back down and crossed his arms. “Some demons do, you know…”

Luz let go of her necklace. “Well you don’t…” She thought a little about seeing with paws and hands. I guess blind people do that in a way? “And some humans do too, but that’s a blind thing.” She shifted around, before remembering that this wasn’t what she wanted to talk about. “But, I still want to know if you know where Eda went?”

King moved a paw up to his snout, as he thought. “I’m not sure… I think she might have gone to the market to get something?” He shrugged, “she left some time after you did, anyway.” Before Luz could even ask, he answered her next question. “Lilith went with her, if you were going to ask.”

Luz nodded. “So we’re home alone?” she crossed her legs, looking over at the door. “Well, except for Hooty, but he is the house…” Luz stared over at the door, expecting him to butt in, but Hooty had been a lot better behaved, since Lilith and him had become friends. “So, is there anything you want to do?”

King’s tail wagged. “Let’s watch something together!” he jumped up on his legs. “Something violent! With lots of blood! I think I know just where we can watch something like that!” He was already running to get the crystal ball, before Luz could make another suggestion.

¨¨

Luz didn’t care all that much about what she and King were watching, but she liked that he was having fun. It looked like it was a monster movie of some kind, not as bloody or bad as she was scared it would be, but still a tiny bit more violent than she liked. It was at least not as weird as some of the other movies she had watched.

One time, she had seen a movie about some weird creatures that ate people, but they were really a struggling family that could only live by doing that. She had no clue if it had been some sort of parody, comedy horror or meant to be a serious heartwarming family story, but whatever it was; it made her both curious enough to watch it all the way through and incredibly uncomfortable.

Luz realized she was zoning out slightly, as she registered King screaming to her side. “Yes! Devour them! KILL THEM ALL!” He leaned in on the table, wagging his tail, his eyes shining with excitement. “One day, I’ll be like that again…” he whispered in awe.

Luz shifted around in her seat, messing with her necklace. I wonder how long there is until I have to head to Amity’s house? She checked the time, but there was still over half an hour before she could leave and get there at a reasonable time. “When’s this going to be over? I have to visit Amity later.”

King glanced up at Luz. “I think it’s over soon.” He sat back down, with a little squeak. “Sorry I was blocking your view.”

Luz smiled down at him. “It’s fine, you’re even cuter when you’re excited about something!”

Luz grinned, as he glared up at her. “I’m NOT cute! I’m the King of demons, and I…” He trailed of as his gaze fell back on the crystal ball. “I’ll lecture you later.” He tried to look tougher, like the movie bored him, but Luz could see how his tail twitched and shifted as he tried not to wag it.

Luz shifted to lay on her stomach, watching the last of the movie with him.

¨¨

Just a few minutes after the movie ended, Eda and Lilith finally came home, but Luz didn’t have a lot of time to stick around and talk, because she suddenly realized she needed to check if she had anything she needed to bring with her.

Shoot, why did I not remember to check earlier? She sprinted upstairs, after a quick hi to Eda, to look for her bag.

She took some time to draw a couple emergency glyphs, just in case she got into trouble, making sure to bring her notepad and pen with her, if she happened to use them all up without being able to draw them on the ground either.

She took a few seconds to look at her necklace, before she headed back downstairs to say goodbye.

King didn’t like that she was leaving at all. “Why do you have to go?” He grabbed her leg, as she was about head out the door. “Can’t you just visit Amity tomorrow?”

Luz smiled down at him, lightly pushing him away, but he stood his ground. “Sorry, King, I promised Amity I’d come over today.” She patted his head, as he looked up at her with big begging eyes. “We can spend time together tomorrow, okay?”

King suddenly got a way more worried look in his eyes. “But what if there isn’t going to be a tomorrow?”  

Luz froze, shocked at what he was suggesting. “I don’t think you need to worry about that.” She picked him up in her arms, despite his slight protest. “Everything’s going to be fine! I’m prepared!” He squirmed, as she hugged him, before she put him back on the floor and brought her emergency glyphs out of her bag. “Look! I’m ready for anything!”

King stared up at Luz, not looking any more at ease. “But… What if something catches you off guard?” he looked back to the crystal ball, before he pointed to it. “I don’t want anything like that to happen to you, Luz!”

Luz felt uncomfortable looking back at the crystal ball, because she knew she probably couldn’t say that it was just a movie. “Like I said; everything is going to be fine!” She felt a bit antsy, realizing that she was wasting time discussing this with King. “And, again, I promised Amity I was coming over today.” She fidgeted with her bag, before continuing. “And I’ve made it this long without being eaten! I promise I’m going to come home safe.”

She crouched down to give King another hug, before she headed out the door. “Bye, guys!”

¨¨

Luz didn’t know what to do, as she stood in front of the door to the Blight Manor after having knocked. She had no clue what to expect, as she waited for someone to let her in.

She shifted from foot to foot in small bounces, as the door opened.

She took a step backwards, nearly falling off the steps, when she saw how infuriated Amity looked. “Woah! What’s wrong?” Did I come over too late? Or too early? Luz wasn’t sure she should come closer, as Amity stared her down, before looking at her necklace.

Luz yelped in surprise, when Amity grabbed her arm and forcefully pulled inside the house. “Ack! Amity! Stop! That hurts!” She didn’t listen, as she kept pulling on her, making Luz follow along just to lessen the pain. Despite that, her grip was still uncomfortably tight around her arm. ���What’s going on?”

Luz tried to figure out what she could have done wrong to make Amity so angry at her, but she couldn’t think of anything. Is she taking her anger out on me, or is she angry at me? She couldn’t tell what was going on, but she knew that she didn’t want to see Amity like that. “Have I done something wrong?”  

Amity huffed, but she didn’t answer her question.

Luz still tried to figure out what Amity could possibly be mad at her for, as she followed her into the living room. Luz remembered that she needed to give a more thorough apology for her distrust of the necklace. “I’m really sorry about earlier.” Amity didn’t look at her as she spoke, “you know, with the necklace; I didn’t mean to make it sound like I didn’t trust you.”

Amity tightened her grip on Luz’s arm, before she suddenly let go of it, and shoved her down on the couch.  

Luz hit the couch, before quickly rolling back off it, staring up at Amity. “What was that fo-” Her eyes widened, as she cut herself off when she saw Amity forming a spell circle. “Wait, don’t!” But she barely got the words out, before Amity cast the spell.

Luz braced herself for something to hurt her, but nothing happened at all. She let out a sigh of relief. Amity is just messing with me. “Wow, you really scared me-” Luz’s eyes widened once again, as she realized that something had happened; she was shrinking, getting smaller by the second. What did Amity just do to me?!

Amity watched her with cold eyes, before she walked over and crouched down.

Luz hesitantly backed away, trying to figure out why Amity was acting the way she was. “Uhm…” her voice shook slightly, stopping her from speaking, as she glanced away. Her fear felt like it grew larger by each second that the giant, compared to her, girl watched her. “What did you do that for?” she asked, trying to stop her voice from showing how scared she felt. Her heart thudded quickly in her chest, as Amity kept the cold look in her eyes.

Amity leaned down closer, before poking her hard enough to knock her over. “You’re boring… Aren’t you going to run away or something? I thought you would be more exciting to catch…”

Luz watched her for a few seconds, before she got up on her feet again. “Catch?” She kept looking up at her, but she couldn’t figure out why Amity would want her to run. Whatever Amity was doing; she wasn’t sure she wanted to play along with it.

Amity sighed, rubbing her forehead. “Alright, let me put it simply…” Her hand suddenly slammed down in front of her, making Luz jump back with a shriek. “You run right now, and I might let you go if I can’t catch you within...” she paused to think, as Luz heart pounded even faster in her chest, “ten minutes.”

Amity stared at her with the same uncaring eyes, waiting for Luz to do something, but she couldn’t get her feet to move. She took a couple unsure steps back after a few seconds. Is this a game? It had to be; why else would Amity be acting like that? Maybe it’s just a weird way to welcome guests here? But that didn’t make much sense.

Amity tapped her fingers against the floor in impatience, snapping Luz out of her thoughts. “I’m only giving you a few more seconds to try and get away, human.” She shifted her fingers to reach out after her, but she stopped before wrapping them around her. “This is getting really boring… Aren’t you at least going to yell at me?”

Luz stared at the fingers that had almost closed around her, not knowing what Amity was getting at. “I don’t get it!” she shouted, squeezing her eyes shut. “I don’t get what’s happening!”

Amity pushed her down on the floor, pinning her down roughly with only a couple fingers. “I’m giving you a chance to escape!” Luz still didn’t understand, as she looked up at Amity. She felt her press down harder on her shoulders, making her gasp in pain. “Or, I guess, was.”

Luz let out a pained wheeze, as Amity’s fingers wrapped around her, almost feeling like Amity was trying to crush her to death. “Stop! That hurts!”

Amity scowled down at her, but she loosened her grip slightly. “Oh, poor you.” She scoffed, before she opened her fist up to grab Luz’s bag, before she even had a chance to try and take it back from her. “As if it wasn’t on purpose…” she mumbled under her breath. “Didn’t realize you were that stupid.”

Luz stared up at Amity in disbelief. “I’m not stupid!” What is going on with her? “I want to know why you’re hurting me!”

Amity glared at Luz intensely. “Can you be quiet? I need to focus on something.” She lifted her up to her mouth and grabbed the back of her shirt between her teeth.

Luz felt a strong chill go up her spine, as the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She tried to keep her shirt from pressing in on her throat, but it barely helped. What the hell is Amity doing? She gasped for breath, as she squirmed to try and loosen the pressure on her neck.

She looked at her bag, as Amity emptied it into her hand. Another rush of fear went through her, as she realized that she had barely had any ways of defending herself against Amity. She tried to kick Amity’s chin, but she couldn’t hit anything from where she was. “Don’t-” She coughed, shifting her grip on her shirt slightly, “-don’t take my stuff!”

An exhausted breath blew down onto her from Amity’s nose, before she put the pen and notepad down in the bag and shook the glyphs off her hand.

Luz watched, as her hand moved up to grab her again, kicking it as soon as it was in reach. “Let me go!” She only realized her poor wording, as Amity let out a small laugh through her nose, and opened her mouth slightly. “Wait, no! Not like that!” Luz let out a terrified cry, bracing herself for the fall, but Amity grabbed her again without dropping her.

Luz felt Amity’s tongue slurp up against her neck, before she was lowered down.

Luz couldn’t believe what Amity just did, as she shifted her head to try to process the feeling of drool that lathered her neck. Did she just lick me? She definitely did. Why did she do that? Luz felt another strong chill run through her body. “Why did you lick me?”

Amity’s eyes were just as unkind as before, when she turned Luz around to stare at her. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Luz cowered, as the bad feeling she had grew worse. “Please don’t hurt me…” she whispered quietly. She had a growing worry that this was going the exact way she expected getting licked by a person big enough to eat her in a single bite would go. I shouldn’t have promised anything to King… she realized, trying to stop the burning feeling in her eyes, not wanting to cry. I have to be wrong; Amity would never do that. But signs weren’t very promising.

Amity scowled down at Luz, before she shifted her gaze away from her. She didn’t say anything else, as she began looking around from something in the house.

Amity found her way to what looked like a dining room, where what had to be her mom was standing. Luz felt Amity shift her grip on her to dangle her from her fingers. “She was way too easy to catch… I even offered her a chance to get away, but, apparently, humans aren’t smart enough to take a chance to survive.”

Luz tried to look back at Amity, but she couldn’t quite see her, as the feeling of dread grew. “Survive?” She knew Amity was obviously hinting at eating her, but that didn’t mean she was being serious about doing it. She wouldn’t really do that, would she? “What do you mean?” She couldn’t actually want to kill her. Her thoughts spun in her head, as she tried make sense of it. She wouldn’t!  

Amity turned her around, raising an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re not stupid?” She shook Luz, making her cry out in distress, as she felt like she was going to slip out between her fingers. “I thought you had already caught on.” She shifted her grip to let Luz sit in her hand. “I think it’s pretty obvious what I’m going to do, but I guess a human like you would be too dumb to understand?”

Luz tried to get up on her feet, but Amity didn’t give her a chance, as she was pinned down by her thumb. She stared up at Amity, still trying to figure out if she was serious. “I’m not dumb!” She squirmed underneath her thumb, but she held on too tightly for Luz to do anything. “I just don’t know why you would do this!”

Amity rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Yeah, sure, but isn’t it still pretty obvious?” She glared down at her, as she continued. “I don’t care about you.”

Luz suddenly burst out laughing. Something about the way she said it didn’t sound like she meant it. It sounded way too exaggerated. “What are you talking about?” She couldn’t stop laughing at the idea of Amity not caring about her. “We’re friends!” Just the thought that Amity would hurt her seemed completely absurd the more she considered it. “We’ve been friends for a long time, when did you suddenly start hating me again?”

Amity got even angrier, glancing over at her mom, as Luz spoke. “That doesn’t matter!” She pressed her thumb harder into Luz’s chest, making her let out a pained wheeze again. “What matters is that I don’t like you, and I’m going to make sure that I never have to see you ever again.”

Luz wriggled underneath her thumb, trying to process everything that was happening. She can’t mean that! “W-wait, no!” She already knew how Amity was going to solve this. “We can figure this out another way!” Luz looked around as she gasped for breath, while she tried to think. Is Amity seriously going to kill me? “I’m trying to find way back to my mom! Maybe-” Luz hesitated, before she made her decision. “What if I stay there? In the human realm?”

Amity kept scowling down at her, but Luz could swear she saw a glimpse of surprise in her eyes, before she looked over at her mom with a slightly hopeful expression.

Luz immediately put the pieces together, but that didn’t make her situation any less terrifying. Is Amity’s mom making her kill me? She decided to keep her mouth shut, until her mom made a decision. Please let me go home… She suddenly felt even more powerless in Amity’s grasp, knowing that her life could be ended by a single decision that neither she or Amity had a say in.

Amity looked back down at Luz, clearly realizing that she had noticed her odd behavior, as she her expression changed back to a glare hurriedly, before her necklace lit up.

Luz looked at it unsurely, waiting for either Amity or her mom to say anything. Don’t kill me… She couldn’t help squeezing her eyes shut, as she waited to know if she was going to make it out alive or not. Please decide to let me go… she begged inside her head once again.

Amity huffed, and Luz’s hair stood on end, as she realized what that meant. “No, you said you’re still trying to find a way back and that would take way too long.” Luz pulled her legs closer to her body, as she gave Amity a pleading look. “Besides, I don’t have the patience to see your face around anymore.” She shifted her around in her hands with malicious smile. “And I think killing you would be much more satisfying.”

Luz realized she had to come up with something to convince her mom to change her mind. “Amity, please, don’t!” She looked around, trying to collect her thoughts. What did I want to say? “I- You-” It was about Amity. “You don’t actually want to kill me; I know it!” She pointed her thumb where Amity had looked earlier. “It’s her, your mom! She wants to kill me! I saw the way you looked over at her!”

Amity squeezed her eyes shut in a scared wince, before she tried to play it off. “Why do you have to be so annoying about this?” She shifted her grip to dangle Luz from her fingers again. “You know you can’t do anything about this, right? Even- I mean-” Amity stammered slightly. “Ugh! I’m just going to get this over with!”

Amity opened her mouth as wide as she could, finally letting the fact that Amity was serious about killing her sink in.

“Wait!” She tried to grab onto her fingers, while kicking against Amity’s hand. “No, please! There has to be something I can do to change your mind!” But Amity didn’t hesitate, as she lowered Luz into her mouth. “Or your mom’s mind!” She writhed around, trying to get a look at her, but she couldn’t even catch a glimpse. “Mrs. Blight, please, stop this!”  

But her mother didn’t say or do anything to call it off.

The bare part of her legs rested against Amity’s tongue, as she closed her mouth around Luz’s waist. I have to do something now! “We can figure something out, or-” Luz felt that she was sliding deeper into Amity’s mouth, despite her desperate attempts to push herself back out. “Please, I-” Luz sucked in a breath, as she felt tears burning in her eyes once again, “-I don’t want to die!”

Amity opened her mouth a little wider around her again, using her tongue to drag her in. “Amity! Stop! Please!” This isn’t happening! This couldn’t be happening. She tried to grab onto Amity’s lip, but she couldn’t even reach anymore, let alone hold on. This isn’t happening!

“Amity! Spit me out right now!” She tried to kick herself back out of Amity’s mouth, but she shut it around her, before she even had a chance.  

“This isn’t funny at all!” It had to be a cruel joke, or a nightmare. It had to be. She couldn’t die here; she couldn’t die yet. This isn’t happening! She choked on her own sob, as she begged Amity to stop. “Ple-please!”

But Amity still didn’t listen to her.

Luz tried to back away from Amity’s throat, but she couldn’t get a proper grip on anything inside her mouth. Maybe if I kick her throat, she’ll spit me out? Anything was worth a shot at this point. She gave her a full force kick in the back of her throat.

Just as Luz had hoped, Amity immediately retched and spat her back out into her hands. But Luz instantly realized that there wasn’t anywhere to go from there. Okay, so I have another shot at changing her mom’s mind, that could work! Luz spun around to face her, but something about the look she was giving Amity told her there was nothing she could do. I have to try again.  

She tried to gather her thoughts, but all except the desperate pleas for her life escaped her. Shoot, what do I say? Luz stared at Amity’s mom, as Amity stopped gagging behind her.

Luz turned back around. “Amity, please, you don’t have to do this!” There had to be another way to convince her… What hadn’t she tried? “I promised King I would come back home today!”  

She looked up into Amity’s eyes, hoping to convince her to let her go. Luz immediately began talking, trying to stall her fate, despite the lack of any sort of pity in her eyes.

“I said that we could spend tomorrow together, but he said there might not be a tomorrow, and I tried to comfort him-” her eyes flicked around, trying to look as scared as she felt, “but if I really don’t have a tomorrow, then King and I will never spend it together!”

Luz hoped that her listening to her stream of panicked words meant that she was considering trying to change her mom’s mind. She continued trying to stall. “What’s your mom’s name?” She turned back around to face her. “What’s your name?” she shouted at her, but she didn’t respond, only getting out of her line of vision. “Please! Stop this!” she cried out again, as her eyes searched for her in vain. “I need to get back! I have to come home!”

She felt Amity lift her up and turn her around and Luz stared up at her with tear-filled eyes. The look in Amity’s eyes was bored more than anything, as she spoke, “do you really think you’re going to be changing my mind on this?” She sighed deeply. “Because I’ve planned this for a while and I’m not going to back down over some begging and crying.”

Luz racked her brain for anything that could save her, but she didn’t know what else she could do. She tried to stall again, hoping Amity would hear her out. “What about the time…” It didn’t matter what she talked about, as long as she talked. “Or I mean, what about the Azura books? If you kill me, you won’t have anybody to talk with you about them!”

Amity scowled at Luz. “Don’t remind me of that!” She squeezed Luz tightly, before she continued. “You just kept talking and talking and talking!” The look her eyes soften for a second, before she caught herself. “I never got a word in! Do you have any idea of how annoying it was?” She sighed once more. “I’m tired of this...” She opened her mouth back up again.

Luz immediately tried to squirm out of her grasp. “Stop!” She put her hands out in front of her, once again trying to grab onto something before she was shoved into Amity’s mouth. There has to be something I can do! But it was useless and, deeper down, she did know that.

Her eyes flicked around, as she tried to come up with something. Could I make her gag again? Maybe Amity will get tired of it eventually and… Luz didn’t even have to finish the thought, before she realized that wouldn’t work. Amity could easily bite her in half or just crush her arms or legs between her teeth. A sharp prickling feeling went up her spine, as she felt like the hair on her neck stood up. I can’t get out.

She suddenly became much more aware of everything around her, as she realized that now really was the moment she was going to die.

Everything felt fake, as a surreal feeling spread through her body, making every muscle in it tense. Her heart was beating, but it didn’t feel like her heart. She was breathing, but her lungs didn’t feel like they were hers. She had thoughts, but they didn’t feel like they came from her own head.

She shook her head, as she felt like vomiting. No, no, this is just a weird dream, a really scary, terrifying, nightmare, I’m going to wake up soon… But then why could she feel the saliva from Amity’s mouth making her clothes stick to her skin? I’m not going to die! I can’t! She clenched her fists tighter, digging her nails into her palms to feel something, as she shivered all over from the horrid realization she was having. She let out a small cry, wanting the feeling out of her body.

It couldn’t be possible that she would actually die; she couldn’t die. I can’t die! It doesn’t make sense! I can’t! Those were the only thoughts that echoed in her mind, as she tried to process what was happening. She wasn’t supposed to die; if she died, then what would happen to her? To the person she was? She heaved for breath, before whimpering, as she felt like an intruder in her own body. I can’t die!  

Luz let out the loudest scream she could muster, trying to feel like she was in control of the body she was in, before she dug her nails into Amity’s tongue. She knew her voice would come out hoarse, even before she screamed again, “SPIT ME OUT!” The words raked her throat, as she screamed them as loud as she could.

She pressed against the back of her tongue with as much force as she could, before she was pinned to the roof of Amity’s mouth.  

She wriggled against it, trying to maneuver her arms to make Amity gag another way. I’m not going to die in here! She hesitated for a few seconds, before she pressed her arms into Amity’s throat. She couldn’t put as much force into it, as her kick, or even just when she pressed down, but it was enough for her soon-to-be murderer to let her back out.

At least for a second, before she was quickly shoved back inside. This was exactly the scenario she had dreaded. She couldn’t keep stalling her death; Amity wasn’t using anywhere near the amount of energy Luz was. This couldn’t keep going forever.

Amity pinned Luz against her palate once again, letting her struggle uselessly for even longer.

Luz could feel herself starting to feel a slight bit weaker, as she tried to do the same thing she had done just before. But this time she didn’t get a chance to press against Amity’s throat, as she let her fall back to the front of her mouth, before she could reach.

She felt her feet hit Amity’s teeth, before Amity opened her mouth slightly and forced her leg in between them.

Luz squeezed her eyes shut tightly, realizing that Amity was going to be done playing with her soon. She’s going to bite my leg off! Luz tried to pull it out from between her teeth, but it didn’t do anything. Please don’t do this… It couldn’t be that much longer, before she decided to kill her.

But biting her leg off wasn’t what Amity had in mind, as she shifted Luz’s head in between her molars instead. Luz tried recoil, despite knowing she couldn’t do anything but wait for Amity to crush her skull. She didn’t think to send out any sort of last thoughts, as she focused on trying to shut out the unbearable pain she would feel in just a few seconds.

But Amity changed her mind once again, shifting her back on her tongue.

Luz was starting to wish that Amity would just get it over with already, instead of playing with her like she kept doing. I can’t get out… She had tried everything now, but none of it had worked. She went limp, before she tried one last time to get Amity to spare her life. “Am-” she coughed, as she realized just how sore her throat was from screaming. “-Amity, please, I can’t die yet!” She felt tears build up in her eyes once again, but she didn’t try to hold them back anymore.

Luz tensed up immediately, as she felt herself slide towards Amity’s throat. Amity is going to swallow me whole! She squirmed, before she was pinned in place again. “Amity!” This was one of the worst ways she could decide to kill her. “Sto-” she choked on her voice again in the middle of her word, “-stop! Please, at least make it a quick death!”

But it did nothing to convince her, as she was squeezed down into her throat.

Luz tried to make her gag again, but Amity swallowed her down way too quickly for her to do anything. She kicked the back of her palate, but even though Amity’s body clearly wanted her to cough her back up; she still quickly swallowed again to let Luz slide farther down into her throat.

Luz cried out in distress, as she was squeezed and shoved farther down by the second. She tried to clear her head of thoughts, not wanting to think about how soon she was going to die. She wasn’t ready to die in anyway at all. I can’t die… But she knew that wasn’t true; everybody had to die. I don’t want to die… She didn’t want to die yet, and especially not the gruesome way she was about to.

She whimpered, as trying to wriggle back up, but she knew there was no way she was making it out again. I never got to see my mom again… Every ounce of guilt she had felt since she had pretended to be at camp hit her at once. She cried even harder, letting out a wail, as she wished she had told her something, anything, about where she was. She’s never going to know what happened to me...

Luz could feel when the stomach opened up beneath her, and she squeezed her eyes even more shut, as she slid into the pool of acid at the bottom.

She quickly got out of it, but she knew it wouldn’t make much of a difference. I’m… She could barely finish the thought, but she knew she had to face sooner or later. I’m not getting out of here… She let her shoulders untense, knowing there was nothing she could do but wait for death. Maybe it won’t be as scary as it sounds…

But she knew she didn’t really believe that.

~

Amity felt Luz stop moving inside her stomach, but she didn’t worry, knowing she was going to be alright. She looked up into the smug face of her mother, glaring at her. Wipe that annoying smile off your face! Her mother hadn’t won; she had. Or at least as much as she could win, when she had, hopefully, broken Luz’s trust in her completely. She looked down at her stomach, holding a hand over it. Please don’t still trust me after this…

Her mom’s eyes nearly looked like they sparkled, as Amity hurried to lower her hand down. Shoot, I’m making this worse for Luz… Her mother touched the gem around her own neck, as her voice rung in her head like it had done so many times. “Mittens, you still seem pretty affectionate with the human, are you sure you can stay away from her?”

Amity nodded, as she felt anger bubble up inside her. I would do anything to keep Luz safe. Even if it meant never seeing her again. Though, the fact that her mom still wore that smug smile worried her. Am I missing something? Her skin prickled, as she knew there had to be something she wasn’t thinking off. Was there a loophole she hadn’t consider? How did the deal go again?

She thought back to what had been said. ‘If you can convince Luz that you’re trying to kill her, we won’t do anything to her ourselves.’

Amity’s eyes widened, as she realized exactly why her mom wore that smile, but she kept her face away from her. Stay calm, I can’t let her know that I’ve figured out her trick. If she knew she figured it out; she wasn’t going to get a chance to make a plan to save Luz from her.

She stretched casually, trying to look more tired than she was. “I think I’m going relax in my room for a while…” she hoped she could be more convincing than she was before. “I’ll come back… later?” She shot her mom an unsure look, trying to ask when she needed to let Luz out. That’s what I would have done before I guessed it, right? “When would be a good time?”

Her mom did look a bit suspicious of her, but not a worrying amount. “Come back in half an hour.”

Amity wasn’t sure she should chance a glare at her mom, despite knowing that she would have done it otherwise. I don’t want to risk anything… She would let her think she still thought she had won by ignoring her, as she walked past her.

~

Luz stared in confusion at the yellow tinted walls that were pulsing around her, realizing that something was off. Even if there was still enough air for her inside Amity’s stomach; she definitely should be feeling at least some itching, if not unbearably painful burning, by now.

She looked down at the bare part of her legs, but the skin didn’t seem irritated at all, despite her lower half having been in the acid the entire time she had been inside Amity’s stomach, because she hadn’t been able to get completely out of it.

Luz didn’t understand what was going on, but she had a feeling Amity had a reason for not telling her that.

She looked up where she had first entered her stomach, wishing she could get back out. She put her necklace in under her hoodie, letting the space around her darken. It was a lot more pleasant, when she didn’t have to look at the pulsing moving walls that she thought was going to kill her just a moment ago.

She closed her eyes, letting herself calm down. The thought that she was going to die eventually, even if not now, still lingered in her body, making her feel like she wasn’t really herself. But at least I don’t have to die right now. She tried to comfort herself with the thought, but thinking about the fact that she had to die at some point still left her with the hollow feeling of her body not being hers.

She pulled the necklace back out, realizing she needed a distraction from her thoughts. Or at least something to do with her hands, so she could squash down the feeling of needing to do something.

She watched the flickering effect the light gained, as she fiddled with the gems. It started to feel a little less scary, when she focused on the light and necklace in her hands, instead of her surroundings, thoughts or feelings. She could deal with her existential dread later… when she figured out how to stop feeling like herself when she thought about the fact that her life would eventually be over.

She took a shaky breath, trying once again to calm down.

~

Amity paced around her room, trying to figure out how to handle everything. How am I going to get Luz back to the Owl House? She couldn’t picture a way that would work. Mom has to be keeping an eye on me, in case I decide to run away… Amity paused in her pace. Is it obvious that I’m going to run away? She thought about it, but she quickly realized if her mom saw or heard her head out, she would immediately get caught.

She sat down, trying to form a better plan. My only back up plan can’t just be to restrain her, while I run… She had to come up with something better, but she knew she had limited time. How am I going to do this? She placed her head into her hands, gritting her teeth in frustration.

She rubbed her face, trying to come up with something else. What if I wait until I’m supposed to let Luz back out, but then I run away? It almost sounded easier, but she might as well use some of the surprise from running way now instead. It might have worked, if Ed and Em were home to help. But, obviously, her mother didn’t want anybody interrupting her traumatizing of Luz. Or, rather, her murder. Why did I ever agree to this? It should have been so obvious that this plan wasn’t going to work. What made me think mom would even keep her word? She knew how her mom was.

Amity wished she had just been smart enough to avoid this. Luz could have saved herself, if I just warned her… She squeezed her eyes shut, letting herself cry. I could have helped her! Amity knew that she shouldn’t dwell on the past, that was something she couldn’t change, but she couldn’t see how she was going to get out of the situation her stupid, absolutely terribly, mistake had brought her in.

Amity had to wipe the tears from her face not long after. I have to at least apologize to Luz… Her shoulders tensed, as she thought about having to tell her that she had pretty much gotten her killed. I’ll try to make it more optimistic... She didn’t know how to make it sound like that, but she could give it a shot. “Luz?”

~

The necklace thumped against her chest, as she let go of it, when she heard her name. She felt a sudden burst of anger, kicking Amity’s stomach with as much force as she could. She quickly calmed down after that, realizing that it wasn’t Amity fault that this happened. Maybe partly, she didn’t try to stop her mom, but I shouldn’t take my anger out on her…

But before she could apologize; Amity spoke again. “I deserved that.” Luz waited for a few seconds, before Amity continued. “But I wanted to say sorry, and that you were right about everything… Somewhat?” Luz wasn’t sure if she should say anything yet, but Amity seemed to be done, as she didn’t say anything after making a few noises while thinking.

Luz wasn’t exactly sure what to say. “Uh… Okay?” She didn’t really want to be talking with Amity, her voice still felt uncomfortable to hear. “But, uhm… If I’m not going to die in here; you’re going to let me out soon, right?” Luz didn’t want to spend a second longer than she needed to inside Amity’s stomach.

She heard the rush of air in Amity’s lungs, as she took a deep breath. “About that…” Luz felt like her skin was crawling, as she waited for Amity to say something horrible. “I might have messed up a little more than I thought, and my mom does want you dead.”

Luz immediately sprang up in a panic, or attempted to, but she just splashed down into acids again as she slipped. “You’re still going to kill me?!” She tried to climb backwards, as one of the ways that Amity could still kill her popped into her mind. She’s going to drown me! “No, please, I-” But Amity quickly interrupted.

“No, no, Luz, I’m not going to let her get her way!” Amity’s heart had sped up too, as she hurried to get her words out. “I would never let anyone or anything hurt you; no matter what.” Luz noticed she took a breath, after she had stopped her writhing.  

Luz tried to process her words, but they… didn’t make any sense. Something in the way she said it made her think there much more to them than what she let on. She tried to think back to before Amity had lied to her about how much she hated her, but she still couldn’t figure out what made Amity care about her that much. No matter what... her mind repeated the tone that Amity had used. Maybe I’m putting too much meaning in it?

Amity continued, snapping her out of her thoughts. “But I was trying to say that she still wants you dead, so I need to find a way to get you back to the Owl House.” She let out a sigh. “The problem is that I’m stuck in my room…”

Luz let herself relax again. “First of all; don’t phrase stuff like that ever.” She pointed a finger at Amity, despite knowing she couldn’t see her. “But secondly… I don’t really know what to do either.” Luz gave herself some time to think. “Uh… Maybe you could…” Nothing popped into her mind immediately that wasn’t obvious. But maybe the simplest option could work? “Do you think you could beat your parents in a fight? If you had to?”

Amity went quiet, and Luz listened curiously for her response. “What do you mean? Do you want me to fight my parents?”

“No, I mean, if you had to, if you were caught?” Luz knew that Amity had to have thought about this, but she was pretty sure it could work. “And if you can’t, what are they going to do?” Luz’s confident feeling grew, as she thought about it more. “They can’t get to me, as long as I’m in here!”

It was silent above her, as Amity thought.

Luz stared up hopefully, excited that Amity seemed to be considering the idea. It could really work! She tried to squash down her feeling of being clever, waiting to hear what Amity thought of it.

“You’re right…” Luz waited, hoping she would go through with the idea. “But what if they have a way to make me throw up?”

Luz deflated, not having thought about that. “Well… Do you think they do?” She gave it a few more seconds of thought. “Why would they have a way to make you throw up? Doesn’t that sound weird?” Luz tried to come up with anything that could help them out of this awful situation they had ended up in. “And how else are we going to get out of this? I can’t think of anything else…”

Amity went quiet, clearly trying to think of something. “I don’t know…” She breathed out, as her heart sped up again. “I guess it’s the only thing that sounds doable…”

¨¨

Luz had to wait with growing worry, as Amity moved around the house.

She kept her hands around her necklace and it helped her calm down slightly. The chain felt comforting, as she ran her fingers along it. Stay calm… She didn’t want to freak out too much, despite knowing that both her and Amity were incredibly worried. She can do this.

She could hear Amity’s heart beat faster than her own, but not by much.

She wished she could help out, but there wasn’t a lot she could do, even if she was back outside and her regular size. I would probably just be easier to kill… Not to mention the fact that she was still completely defenseless. Luz gripped her necklace anxiously, as she thought back to Amity taking her bag. What did Amity do to my bag?

It wasn’t that she was too worried about the bag; she didn’t have anything really important and irreplaceable with her, but she still didn’t want to have lost it. She did have a few of her favorite patches and pins on it and it would suck to lose them. So technically something irreplaceable, if she never got back to her mom, but nothing really important important.

She let go of the necklace, deciding to watch the walls around her for a bit. It made her own stomach churn, as she thought about what happened. It was gross to think that Amity could do that. She hadn’t had that hard of a time swallowing her down, despite how much she had tried to get her to gag.

She tried to stop the uncomfortable feeling she got from thinking about it. Amity is keeping me safe. She reminded herself once again. I’m safer in here than out there. If she was out there; Amity’s mom could get to her way more easily.

Luz wasn’t sure how long she spent thinking about all her different worries, but apparently long enough for Amity to make it out of her house, as the bigger girl told her exactly that in a voice a little louder than a whisper.

It was quiet again after that, except for her much louder and more strained breathing.

¨¨ ~

By the time Amity reached the Owl House; she could barely get her legs to move anymore. Maybe I should have taken it just a tiny bit slower… Her parents hadn’t even seen her run away, as far as she knew. But the thought that they had been after her had made it impossible for her to slow down.

She stared over at the house, feeling unsure about what to do. Should she explain any of what had happened, or keep it a secret? I think I’m going to start by letting Luz out… She wished she had thought about an easier way to make herself throw up suddenly. It can’t be that hard… she thought, remembering how easily Luz had made her gag. But maybe it’s harder to do it myself…  

Amity shook her head, realizing she was overthinking it way too much.

She looked down at her stomach, feeling an uncomfortable shiver go up her body as she thought about what she had done. I’m so stupid… “I’m going to let you out now.”

¨¨ ~

Luz yelped in surprise, as she fell out of Amity’s mouth, but her fall was slightly broken by the soft-ish leaves on the ground. And despite falling the relatively tall height that she had; it barely hurt.

She still groaned, immediately having to squeeze her eyes shut at the still bright light outside. I didn’t realize it was so dark in there... She had thought that the light from her necklace was a lot stronger. She felt dizzy, as she hesitantly opened her eyes back up again.

She heard Amity shuffle backwards retching again, but it didn’t sound like anything else was coming out.

Luz got up on her feet, grimacing as she saw Amity’s face. That does not look fun... She didn’t want to say anything, before Amity was done dry heaving.

Amity swallowed loudly, letting out an exhausted noise. “I’m so sorry,” she started, swallowing sickly again, “I really hope you’re okay after all this...” Amity sat up clenching her hands tight. “I didn’t think any of this through... ” She squeezed her eyes shut, and a couple tears rolled down her face.

Luz didn’t want to say that everything was fine; it wasn’t. But she also didn’t think Amity needed to feel that horrible about it. “Well... The worst part was really realizing that I was going to die, so it’s not really your fault?” Luz dug her foot in under one of leaves next to her, trying to lift it with her foot. “I mean, unless you’re a god of death?” she tried to joke with a hesitant smile.

Amity grimaced, as she clearly tried not to smile back. “It’s not funny...” Her grimace quickly turned sad, as she looked down at Luz. “I know how much I scared you.”

Luz stood awkwardly, not knowing what to do to make Amity stop worrying about it. “I don’t really want to talk about this right now.” It was true, but she was mostly hoping to distract Amity. “Also... Could you maybe turn me back to normal?”

Amity snapped up. “Right! Sorry,” she apologized, but she didn’t turn her back immediately, fishing around in the bag she had with her, before she brought out Luz’s bag. “Here.” She stood back up, before casting the spell.

Luz closed her eyes, as she grew back to normal, finding a little too weird to watch how everything changed back to how it was before.  

When she opened them again; everything seemed much more familiar.  

A lot more real.  

Without even registering her emotions properly; everything blurred with tears.

Luz couldn’t even get a word out, despite wanting to tell Amity that it wasn’t her fault that she broke down. Don't think it’s your fault! Luz’s thoughts screamed between the terrifying jolts of constant reminding that she was going to die and having no way of knowing what would or wouldn’t happen afterwards. Don’t get upset too!

She looked over at Amity, seeing how distressed she looked too, and managed to speak up. “It’s not your fault.” She blinked, letting more tears fall freely. “I’m not scared of you!” She wiped her tears away, even though they were still coming. “We should get inside... I just need to talk with Eda.”

Luz watched Amity, but she didn’t move any closer towards the Owl House.

Amity spoke hesitantly. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

Luz would have shrugged, but she was too upset. “It’s fine; Eda has probably done more questionable things than this.” Amity still looked a little unsure. “Amity, it’s alright; I’ll make sure they won’t get mad at you.”

Amity slowly nodded, before they both headed inside.

~

She still didn’t believe that Luz wasn’t upset with her. I shouldn’t be here... She felt like her back prickled uncomfortably, as she stood stiffly a few steps inside the house.

Luz had immediately gone to embrace Eda, crying into her shoulder. The older witch seemed to be very uncomfortable, but she also looked ready for letting Luz cry for as long as she needed.

Amity took a step back, hoping nobody would notice her. I could see if I could stay at the library for the night... She was pretty sure she could convince Malphas to let her stay if she told him about her situation with her parents. Or I could work a little harder if I need to. That could make up for it. I need to go now if I want to make it.

She carefully turned around to head back out the door, still trying to make herself as unnoticeable as possible.

But, of course, she was noticed this time. “Amity?”

The voice immediately caught her attention, as she noticed Lilith on the couch with Hooty by her side. “Lilith?” She decided that leaving wasn’t an option anymore, now where she had been noticed. “What are you doing here?”

She threw out her hands, “I could ask you the same thing; I thought Luz was just supposed to visit you,” she looked over at Luz and Eda, gesturing to Luz, “so how did things go so wrong that this happened to her?”

Amity shuffled her feet slightly. “I think I’m going to let Luz explain some of it first... But it’s my fault it happened.”

Luz immediately butted in. “No, it’s not-” she sniffled, before she continued, “-there was no way-” she breathed in deeply, as she whimpered and hugged Eda tighter, “-it wouldn’t have happened sooner or later...”

Amity took a second to think about it. “You are really only upset about the-” She wasn’t quick to catch herself before she said a little more than she needed. “-about death?” If she had to be completely honest; she thought that Luz was lying to her about that to make her feel better. Unless she thought I would pretend to want to kill her? But that was ridiculous.

Luz nodded, before she let go of Eda, “it’s really really scary to think about dying...” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m so so scared and I don’t know how to stop feeling like this!” She immediately wrapped her arms around Eda again, almost looking like she was trying to crush her, but Eda still let her hold on.

Eda waited until Luz let go of her again. “Luz, I don’t really know what to tell you.” She took a deep breath, before she continued. “The only thing you can really do is try to forget about it and then when the moment comes... all you can hope is that you’ll be ready for it.” She gently patted Luz on her shoulder. “But we can talk about this after you take a shower, alright? I need to get changed now too.”

Luz nodded, not looking the least bit comforted, before she left for the bathroom and Eda went to get a change of clothes.

King had been eerily silent as all this went down, staring after Luz as she left, before he leaped off the couch to stare down Amity. “What did you do to our Luz? You said that this was your fault!”

Amity felt uncomfortable, as the tiny demon tried to interrogate her. “It’s hard to explain... I really don’t want to do it without Luz.” She grasped the sleeve of her dress between her fingers. “And Eda needs to know what happened too.”

King scowled at her. “She smells like vomit; how much is there to explain about that? When did she get eaten and why didn’t you help her?”

Amity suddenly focused a lot harder on the grim taste of puke in her mouth. I need to rinse my mouth with some water. She realized that she was also incredibly thirsty after her run. “I told you Eda needs to know too and Luz needs to be here.” She turned to Lilith hesitantly. “I know it’s a little weird for me to ask for something right now, but where can I get something to drink?”

¨¨ ~

When Luz came back from her shower Amity looked twice as uncomfortable as she had before with everybody staring at her. Oh gosh, how am I going to explain what happened? She didn’t want them to think Amity was a bad person. “Hey,” she called shyly, trying to take the attention off Amity. “I’m feeling a bit better now.”

She went into the living room, standing next to Amity to hopefully make her feel less awful about what she did. She didn’t have bad intentions with what she did. “Sooo...” Luz began hesitantly, “I guess you guys want to know what happened?”

King scowled at Amity, but Luz was quick to step in. “It’s not her fault.” But she hesitated again. “Not entirely anyway... It’s...” Luz realized she had no clue why Amity’s mom did any of what she did. “Actually, what happened back at your place? Why would your mom ever make you do something like that?”

Amity took a deep breath, “I don’t know...” She rubbed her arm, looking down to the floor. “I just know that it doesn’t really surprise me that much...” She sighed, before she talked about the other part of what had happened. “But what happened was that... My mom told me that if I didn’t...” She stopped, taking a step in behind Luz. “I know I shouldn’t have done it! But she told me that if I wanted Luz to live, I needed to convince her that I wanted her dead.”

Luz looked back at Amity, recalling her wince when she had told her that she figured out her mom was the one behind it. That was why she got scared... Luz carefully brushed her hand against Amity’s arm, making her flinch. “Sorry!” she quickly apologized. I guess she wouldn’t like a hug. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Amity nodded, refusing to look at Luz, before she continued. “But it turns out that it was a trick... She was going to kill Luz either way, and I was stupid and fell for it and now...” She looked at Luz briefly with confusion in her eyes, before she trailed of completely.

Luz desperately wanted to give Amity a hug, but she didn’t seem like something like that would help her. “So... Did your mom tell you to pretend like you were going to kill me a specific way or did you decide that?” Luz really hoped that it wasn’t Amity’s own choice, despite it technically having helped save her life.

Amity looked disgusted. “My mom... She pretty much planned the entire thing... Except for the... The uh...” She suddenly looked even more ashamed of herself, “... fake escape... I mean, I was pretty sure ten minutes was enough to catch you, but I wouldn’t have let you go.”

King interrupted their explanation. “I feel like you two are leaving out A LOT of stuff, because I’m just getting more and more confused.”

Both Amity and Luz looked over at each other, before Amity spoke, “my mom told me I had to pretend to kill Luz by swallowing her alive. That’s why she came home drenched and smelling like vomit.”

Luz jolted up, realizing she forgot to apologize to her mentor for running her clothes. “I’m sorry about your dress, Eda! I didn’t think about how gross I was.” It had completely slipped her mind, despite how sour she had smelled, even without thinking of how slimy she had been.

Eda quickly dismissed it, “don’t apologize about that; it’s been through worse.” She shrugged, “besides, I was thinking of getting rid of it soon.”

Luz looked around the room, but there still seemed to be some confusion. “Uh... Maybe it’s better if we tell them everything that happened.”

¨¨

By the end of it all, Luz felt completely exhausted and scared, having had to relive the moment again. “I think I’m going to go to bed early...” She tried to shake her head to wake up a little, but it didn’t work.

Eda immediately shook her head, “nope, not before you’ve gotten something to eat.”

Luz felt sick at the thought of food. “No thanks, I don’t think I can eat anything.” Her appetite was completely gone and it wasn’t just from the thought of what had happened to her. The idea of eating felt pointless after realizing she was going to die. “I just want to go to bed...” she said, despite her stomach hurting from a lack of food.

Eda didn’t back down. “I get that it’s uncomfortable, but you have to eat something.” She got up from her seat. “Get something to drink and I’m going to make you something.”

Luz decided it was no use protesting.

¨¨

She sat awkwardly and sipped her glass of water. Drinking without any appetite wasn’t easy either, but it did help slightly. She was getting a bit more open to getting something to eat, but mostly to stop the nausea she was getting from her stomach trying to break down nothing.

Amity looked over at her, before she spoke, “so, I’m going to be staying here, right? Or should I be going back home?”

Luz stared at Amity in disbelief. “What do you think?! Obviously, you’re staying here for the night!” She was not letting Amity go home to her parents. At least not for the night.

Amity looked away again. “But what if they only get more upset with me?”

“Then you’re staying here another day,” she replied, carefully putting a hand on top of Amity’s, hoping to comfort her. “Amity, I’m not letting you get anywhere near them, if you’re still scared of them.”

Amity pushed Luz’s hand away, before going silent.

¨¨ ~

Amity watched as Luz headed upstairs to go to bed after she had gotten something to eat, leaving her alone in a room full of people she barely knew anything about.

She decided not to speak to them, looking down into her hands.

Her nail polish looked like it was flaking off in some areas, and she picked at it to distract herself from the awkwardness that hung in the air. What do I do? She had no clue where she was supposed to sleep or if they had enough food for an extra person to stay there. I really want something to eat... She thought, but she would never ask for it, if the others weren’t going to offer. They would probably hate me for it... How was she ever supposed to eat again after she had done what she did?

She scratched a relatively big chunk of paint off, before she stopped to look around at the others. The only one staring at her was King, who was giving her a death glare.

She looked back down to her nails, continuing to scratch at them. “I’m mad at me too, you know...” she said quietly to King. “I really wish I had never done any of what I did.” She rubbed the back of her hand gently, wishing she could go back to before any of it had happened.

King huffed. “Yeah right! You’re just saying that so we don’t get mad at you.” He jumped off the place he was sitting to stare challengingly up at Amity. “Well, I’m still going to be mad at you, so it’s not going to work.”

She shrugged half-heartedly. “That’s okay... I wish you were angrier with me.” She lowered her hand back down. “I mean... I deserve it, don’t I? But Luz isn’t mad at me, even though she really should be...” Amity decided to let a few of her trapped thoughts out. “I don’t understand why she doesn’t hate me for what I did. Or why you guys are letting me stay.” She grabbed her own hand, crushing it as hard as she could. “I don’t deserve it.”

King seemed startled by her, taking a few steps back. “Oh, you really do feel bad...” He ducked his head slightly, before he jumped back to where he sat before, now watching her with a bit harder to read expression. “Well, then I don’t really care, as long as you don’t try to hurt Luz.” He continued to watch her, but he didn’t seem as angry anymore.

Amity looked back at him for another second, only getting more confused. Why don’t they hate me? Maybe she didn’t have to worry about them not wanting her to stay over? But she still felt horrible about what she had done.

She got off the couch, but didn’t know where she wanted to go. “Is there an empty room I could stay in? I need some time alone...”

~

Luz lay in her sleeping bag, tears running down her face. Her mind kept spinning in circles whenever she tried to calm her thoughts about death. As soon as she got to ‘you might feel ready for it when it happens’ it spun back around to the beginning of ‘I’m going to die’. She couldn’t sleep with her thoughts going like that on repeat.

She shuffled around, lying on her side instead. Maybe it’ll be easier to deal with tomorrow. That was her hope anyway, but she knew it wasn’t going to help this time. It normally helps, but this is much worse, she thought, but still tried to relax her body. Take a deep breath...

She did as she told herself, letting it out with a bit of trouble, before she wiped off her tears. Her tiredness seemed to be coming back again after she did that, and she did her best to keep her eyes closed, until she eventually fell asleep.

¨¨ ~

Amity first got back out of the room when she got called for dinner. And she had completely lots her appetite by that time.

She still felt absolutely miserable, but at least she hadn’t been stared at the entire time.

She only took a few small bites, despite her probably needing much more than she felt like eating.

The room was filled with the same awkward silence, as she sat with the others, herself mostly drinking water while the others ate.

Just eat a bit more... She told herself. She knew it wasn’t good that she wasn’t eating, since she hadn’t had anything to eat since breakfast to make sure that she wasn’t going to suffocate Luz in food on accident. Or even just let her sit in it. But she couldn’t make herself eat more than another small bite.

She looked up at Eda before quickly turning her head away again. “Thanks for letting me stay over.”

Eda shook her head, “it’s not that big a deal. Though I should probably have gotten a little more when I was out...” She looked like she was thinking about something, before she shook her head lightly again. “I’m just thinking out loud, no need to worry.”

Amity had already begun to worry, but she tried to shove the feeling down.

She forced herself to take another bite, but she was pretty sure she couldn’t eat another bite after that. “So... Where am I supposed to sleep?” she finally asked.

King mumbled something under his breath that Amity just barely caught, “nowhere near Luz that’s for sure...” Amity sure wasn’t going to object to that.

Eda shrugged again. “As long as it’s not taking already, I don’t care.”

¨¨

Amity ended up getting some pillows for herself and sleeping on the floor, because she was too ashamed to do anything else.

¨¨ ~

When Luz woke up; she didn’t feel nearly as bad as she thought she would. Her worrying about death had left her mind after her full night of sleep. At least for that moment.

She quickly got ready and headed downstairs to check if anybody else were up yet.

Checking the living room, she noticed that Amity had fallen asleep in the middle of the floor and was still sleeping. Luz raised an eyebrow, immediately becoming concerned. That doesn’t look comfortable... Not that it’s much more comfortable sleeping in a sleeping bag for so long. She almost decided to wake Amity up to get her somewhere more comfortable, before she realized it was a little late for that.

She walked around the house for a bit, finding all the others were still sleeping. I guess I did go to bed a little early... What had it been? 6 PM maybe? But there was also some time where she kept tossing and turning trying to fall asleep despite her scary thoughts.

She shook her head quickly. Don’t think about that, she reminded herself. Especially not when you don’t have anybody to talk to. But they were slowly creeping back in and she could feel her pulse rising. I’m not having this happen right after I wake up, she thought stubbornly at herself.

She looked back over at Amity, quickly deciding that she needed someone to talk to and woke her up, even if it was a little selfish.

~

Amity had woken up to someone trudging around the house, but she tried to ignore it and go back to sleep. At least until she felt someone touch her shoulder. “Hey Amity...”

She tiredly raised her head up to look at Luz. She immediately perked up a little more, realizing she probably had terrible bedhead. Every emotion she had about Luz in the past weeks mixed together at once, and she could only respond by lying back down again and apologizing. “Sorry.”

Luz let out a small uncomfortable laugh. “Seriously, stop apologizing, I’m trying to forget what happened right now.” She put a hand on her back, making Amity feel even more conflicted. “Besides, I think you missed a ‘good morning’.”

Amity couldn’t stop herself from smiling. “So did you,” she replied, making Luz look a little sheepish, “but good morning.” She sat up, trying to rub some of the sleep crust out of her eyes. “Why did you wake me up?” She was pretty sure it couldn’t be that late. “What’s the time?”

Her friend shrugged. “Dunno.” She also rubbed her eyes slightly, before she continued. “But I know why I woke you up.” Luz sat down next to her. “I just want to talk a little bit... I’m feeling a little off.” She rubbed her arm nervously. “So... How’d you sleep?”

Amity was pretty sure she knew what she meant by feeling off, but it was clear Luz didn’t like talking about it. “Poorly.” She could feel how stiff her body was. “But I didn’t know where else to sleep... And I was maybe being a little dramatic yesterday...” She would definitely have chosen to sleep on the couch now.

Luz tilted her head. “What do you mean?”

Amity looked away, not wanting to touch on the subject, if Luz didn’t want to talk about it. “It doesn’t really matter.” She paused, thinking her decision over. Maybe I should tell Luz about how I felt yesterday. “Or, well... If you’re uncomfortable talking about yesterday it doesn’t matter.”

Luz gave a slight nod. “Oh...” Her brow furrowed. “So why did you sleep on the floor?”

Amity scratched the back of her head awkwardly. “I didn’t feel like I deserved a better place to sleep.”

Immediately Luz’s eyes turned sad, and Amity moved away. “Amity, I’m alright, you don’t need to keep being so harsh on yourself.”

Amity kept herself from saying anything, despite her thoughts screaming that Luz was supposed to hate her now. It doesn’t make any sense... she thought, looking over at Luz, before she finally said something. “It feels like you should hate me now.”

Luz got a much more sympathetic look in her eyes, before she gave a small smile. “I know how that feels.” She let out a tiny laugh, looking like she was about to say something before she bit it back. She thought over her words, before she continued. “I feel like that about the smallest things sometimes.”

Amity had to take a second to think about it. “But what I did was so much worse.”

Luz moved a bit closer to her. “Yeah, obviously? But I already told you that I’m alright.” She sighed. “You don’t need to worry about me.” Luz scratched her hand slightly, as she looked at her. “I know it sounds a bit out of nowhere, but would you like a hug?”

Amity had to give it a few seconds of thought, before she nodded.

She unsurely let herself hug Luz back, leaning into her. It felt nice to be held like that, and hold onto someone after all that had happened. Just knowing that she still had someone she could consider a real friend helped a lot. Though the thought that Luz was just a friend did make her feel a little sad, she felt like it was enough for her in that moment.

Amity was the first to try to pull away, but Luz held on a little longer, making Amity hug her back again. It felt like Luz also needed the hug a lot.

Eventually both of them let go, and Amity could see that Luz was about to cry again. Amity hesitated unsurely, before gently took Luz’s hand in hers, like Luz had tried to do for her the other day.

Immediately Luz tightened her grip around her fingers, making Amity wince, but she let Luz clutch onto her hand. If it makes her feel better I can stand it for a bit. It didn’t hurt that much; it just surprised her a little.

Luz loosened her grip slightly, as she looked at Amity. “It’s so- scary...” she sobbed, immediately tightening her grip again. “I just can’t imagine the fact that it’s all going to be over... That one day I won’t be here anymore.” Luz squeezed her eyes shut, gasping for breath. “One day my mom is going to die, and what if I never make it home to see her again?”

Amity didn’t know what to say. “I think you will.” Luz gripped her hand even tighter. “I don’t think I get your feelings about death, but if you really want to make it home; you can do it.”

Luz looked down at her own hand. “I wish things could be like this forever... But with my mom here.” She let go of Amity’s hand, looking into her eyes. “Then everyone could be here with me and none of us would have to die...” She sniffled quietly. “But I know that’s stupid to think.”

Amity looked at Luz, hating that she couldn’t do anything to make her feel better. She wanted to tell her that everything was going to be okay, but she couldn’t say that. Luz was worried about death, something that was inevitable. She took a deep breath. “I’m going to be here for you as long as you need.”

Luz managed a weak smile, but didn’t say anything else.

They sat like that for a while, before Luz spoke up again. “You mean a lot to me, you know?”

“I do?” questioned Amity, not sure what to think about it. “Even after what I did?”

Luz nodded, “it does make me feel a little strange... But I’m happy that you’re here with me.” She shifted the way she was sitting slightly. “I don’t want to be weird, but... It makes me feel really... warm and fuzzy when I think about you.”

Amity stared at Luz, before she pushed the thought she was having away. “It’s not weird, except for your childish wording” she teased slightly, while trying not to get too hopeful. “And I’m happy to be here with you too.” She decided she would shift the topic a tiny bit away. “And I get what you mean with this feeling strange... It’s confusing to sit here with you, after what I did.”

Luz fiddled with her hands, looking like she wanted to ask something. “Uhm...” she started, before her voice fell away again and she had to start over. “Do you feel the same way about me? Even with the childish wording?” Amity could tell that Luz meant exactly what she had thought.

Amity nearly choked on her own breath in surprise. Her voice caught in her throat, forcing her to nod instead. I have to be dreaming. There was no way that Luz had just asked her that.

Both of them went completely silent, not knowing what to say to each other.

Hesitantly Amity deciding to reach out for her hand again and Luz took it. For some reason it felt a lot different from how they had held hands just before. And it wasn’t just the lack of her fingers being crushed.

As Amity looked up into Luz’s eyes; she noticed her smile had a bit of sadness to it. Immediately her own smile faded. “I wish I could do something to make you feel better...”

Luz bowed her head slightly. “I’m just happy you’re here with me.”

That would have to be good enough for both of them.

***

That’s the end! Thanks for reading! If you liked it, please leave a like! I love seeing that people like my stories! :3

Have a fantastic day/night! <3

#safe vore #sfw vore #non-fatal vore #gt vore #T0H vore

[jess-rewatches-prodigalson]

Face Value (S2, E7)

My time-stamped thoughts for this episode. As always I reference Malcolm’s mental health. A lot. So if that’s going to be a trigger for you, don’t keep reading.

SPOILERS AHEAD:

0:05 - Hold your horses. Malcolm taught at Quantico?!? I mean, I realize that he probably just did the occasional guest lecture (like most profilers?) but I’m still stupidly proud of him. <3 

0:50 - ngl Malcolm’s a good lecturer. Take it from a university student.

1:13 - “It’s okay. We don’t know what you did and it’s not that mu-....BREATHE” Holy shit. I’m torn between ranting about what a great actor Tom Payne is and losing my mind because this scene is heartbreaking. Look at Malcolm. I swear he’s reminding himself to breathe - not Ainsley. He’s completely panicking but he’s trying so hard to be strong for Ainsley. This boy is an absolute treasure. Brother of the CENTURY. 

1:41 - “You’re right Ainsley. I screwed up.” NO NO NO NO NO. Can you hear the sound of my heart shattering?!? This scene is so much more devastating the second time. When you know Ainsley is putting ON A SHOW HERE. Look at Malcolm’s face. He’s devastated. He blames himself for AINSLEY’S actions. He’s starting to genuinely believe that he’s no better than Martin Whitly. Malcolm’s depression/anxiety is through the roof in this episode. I honestly won’t be shocked if Malcolm has a complete mental breakdown in the next few episodes. Hell, I don’t think I’d be surprised if he tries to OD on his meds. This boy is in crisis and I’m terrified for him. 

1:44 - “I think I did too.”.....this line is interesting. Is this part of Ainsley’s act or is she showing some regret for putting Malcolm through this much emotional torment? She can clearly see that this whole situation is literally destroying her brother’s already fragile peace of mind. 

1:55 - “Today could be the day!”.....the day that everyone finds out about Endicott and Ainsley.....seriously, Malcolm’s daily affirmations this season have done nothing but feed his anxiety. 

2:04 - OF COURSE. A call from Martin. Malcolm is going to have a mental breakdown. It’s just everything. All at once. I’m getting secondhand anxiety FOR him. 

2:35 - hahaha Martin is a crazy, evil, pain in the ass but damn is he entertaining. 

2:55 - 1) Ainsley looks adorable in Malcolm’s hoodie. 2) Ainsley straight up leaves his loft later in this episode. Did she hid a change of clothes in the loft before Malcolm got home last night? Or does she actually leave her big brother’s apartment in his clothes? 

3:05 - “Getting hit by a train might be better.” Yep. Malcolm is entering a dangerous territory. I know depression is different for everyone but for me, when I start joking - out loud - to people I love about death in passing....things are bad. Like I’m getting suicidal bad. I know Malcolm has a morbid job and he talks about death all the time but this feels like Malcolm is starting to consider suicide as an option. 

3:34 - I can see Ainsley’s “You were trying to control me” perspective. BUT honestly? Take a step back and listen to the desperation and fear in Malcolm’s voice. Anyone with half a brain cell can HEAR how scared Malcolm is and how deeply he loves his sister. Ainsley has known Malcolm her entire life. If she was functioning on all cylinders - she would know that Malcolm is just being a protective big brother. He’s not trying to control her - just help her. But this has been a theme for Ainsley since season 1 when she brought up visiting Martin during family dinner. She seems to believe that Jessica and Malcolm think that she’s a “fragile flower” and that she can’t take care of herself. I understand how that could be frustrating but I also find it concerning that Ainsley doesn’t seem to understand that they aren’t treating her that way because they think she’s weak or stupid but rather out of love. Ainsley acts like a petulant child about this sort of thing (anger, whining, eye-rolling). Ainsley acts very entitled a lot, in the sense that if something doesn’t go her way she just throws a hissy fit (think reporting and/or any Whitly family squabble). Ainsley is messed up. Unlike Malcolm, she doesn’t seem to have any self-awareness when it comes to her behavioural eccentricities. Malcolm actively tries to improve his mental state. Ainsley just throws a hissy fit when the world doesn’t bend to her will.....and this stream of consciousness Ainsley rant just became wayyyyy longer than I had anticipated (sorry). 

3:41 - “Promise me.” See that look? Ainsley is pissed at Malcolm. This girl’s anger is concerning me.......what if (crazy thought) the season finale is Martin escaping Claremont to stop Ainsley from killing Malcolm? 

3:43 - I wish I could be happier about this hug. Malcolm is finally getting a hug but.....he instigated it and he’s not the one being comforted sooooooooo I’m still unsatisfied. 

3:49 - “Hey, you look...terrible.” SCREAM IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS DANI!! God. I love how concerned she is about Malcolm. IDC how you feel about Brightwell. If you don’t think they’re good friends - you’re a moron. 

4:05 - This is the moment when I went....oooohhhh yeah. LDP directed this episode. That’s probably why he’s not in this scene. 

4:10 - JT is a GOOD husband. Give him a medal. Seriously - last season he was going to watch the Taylor wedding live with Tally (who was going to wear a hat <3 ), this season Mr. Masculine casually throws out stats about the Housewives. hahaha I don’t even care if JT genuinely enjoys the Housewives or not. I’m just so utterly delighted at the idea of him watching it with his wife and having a good time with her. <3 JT is the definition of a good husband and I’m HERE FOR IT. 

4:34 - .......seriously? I thought Edrisa had realized that this crush is unrequited last season? I love Edrisa but her obsession with Malcolm is getting a little creepy. Like “13 year old in love with the 40 year old math teacher” creepy. It’s sort of cute but also like - gurl. No.

4:38 - Ok. Dani’s reaction to Edrisa hitting on Malcolm saves the scene for me. Lol.

4:51 - Ugh. That is a really creepy corpse.

4:56 - Look. We’ve all obsessed about it already but I have to bring it up: MALCOLM STILL HAS THE BRUISE FROM THE ELEVATOR. SOMEONE GIVE THE MAKEUP DEPARTMENT A MEDAL. THANK YOU. THANK YOU FOR REMEMBERING MALCOLM’S PHYSICAL TRAUMA.

5:21- ......ok maybe I’m projecting my cynicism here but anyone who has framed newspaper clippings about themselves in their office is seriously egocentric. Maybe it’s just me - but that’s a massive turn off and takes someone out of the running for “angel” status.

6:10 - I’m sorry for every time I thought Jessica was a crazy rich lady during season 1. Birdie is so so so much crazier.

6:36 - “Only the men you date.” Bitch. OMG. Who says something that backhanded and cruel to their sibling?!?!? ......oh wait. I remember how this episode ends :|

7:15 - THANK YOU. I’ve been wondering about the status of Martin’s medical certification since I watched the pilot. SO happy to find out that he couldn’t weasel his way into keeping it.

7:37 - Like most of you, I’ve been creeped out by this whole Martin/Capshaw interaction since it was released as a promo clip. Seriously - it’s creepy. There’s an upsetting amount of subtle flirting here. I’m not sure what it is about Capshaw but her whole energy is just really unnerving to me. I immediately hated her in the promo. Istg Capshaw is an undercover serial killer or something. AND IF SHE BECOMES A LOVE INTEREST FOR MARTIN I WILL LOSE MY SHIT.

8:06 - Oh yeah. She’s either romantically interested in Martin or she’s a psychopath on the DL and is playing him.

8:12 - YAY!!! The Yankee mug returns!!! <3

8:34 - “Sometimes the most monstrous people are the ones hiding in plain sight.” Ouch. I know the writers like to project Malcolm’s emotional turmoil on the case of the week but hearing those words come out of Gil’s mouth?!? Ouch. That hurt Malcolm. Bad. It wasn’t even directed at Malcolm but damn. This is not helping his mental health. At all.

8:41 - Gil. Is. Concerned. <3 :) .....pretty sure Gil also suspects about Endicott and Ainsley by now too. .....hmmmmm maybe that comment about monsters was Gil’s way of trying to get Malcolm to confess (or to gauge Malcolm’s reaction)?  

9:15 - I feel so bad for Malcolm here. He’s literally juggling everyone’s problems. Ainsley’s murder situation. Jessica’s personal drama. But is he dealing with his emotional problems? No. He’s too busy being a good son/brother. SOMEONE PAY ATTENTION TO MALCOLM. HE NEEDS A HUG.

9:35 - Deer. In. Headlights. Well....at least Dani knows Malcolm’s about to have a mental breakdown. This boy just got more information to help him crack a murder case and he looks confused, startled, and lost. He’s usually excited and motivated. This Endicott situation is slowly killing Malcolm. I don’t know how much longer he can struggle under the weight of the guilt.

9:48 - Look at this. Ainsley is pissed off that Malcolm isn’t paying attention to her. We know that this whole 2nd murder was a sham so WTF? Is she really just that hungry for attention? That sounds like Martin Whitly to me - the narcissistic psychopath who needs attention like an addict needs cocaine. Also AINSLEY’S acting here?!? We know that she’s lying to Malcolm but holy shit. She’s a really good actress/liar? What else has she lied about?!? 

10:05 - Ok. So just when did Ainsley remember? I honestly think she’s known since at least 2x01.

10:20 - Look. I understand that Ainsley is pissed that Malcolm is trying to ‘control her’. But did she even listen to the desperation and fear in his voice? This boy wants her to stay in the loft because he’s scared of who she might hurt if she’s out in public, unsupervised. He’s not trying to abuse or hurt her - just protect her. Is he misguided -maybe? Should he have called the cops on Ainsley right away - probably. But he didn’t out of love. Ainsley doesn’t even seem to realize how much this whole situation is hurting Malcolm and that’s the biggest problem. She doesn’t show any remorse at killing Endicott. She’s just pissed off that Malcolm lied about it. SHE KILLED SOMEONE an she (outwardly at least) feels no remorse. This girl is a psychopath (sociopath?) and this will NOT end well for Malcolm and Jessica.  

10:27 - This whole scene was awesome btw. Tom Payne flawlessly communicated Malcolm’s panic, fear, anger, and desperate attempts to stay calm. And Dani’s blatant concern (and suspicion) of Malcolm and his mental state.  AND Ainsley being a little brat. Ugh. So beautiful.

10:45 - I love this scene. I love the fact that they have the type of friendship where Dani’s not afraid to call Malcolm out on his crap (trying to hide things from the team). I love that Malcolm isn’t offended that Dani called him out. He doesn’t lie. Ainsley is lost at the moment. Malcolm is more honest with Dani about how the whole Ainsley thing is affecting him than he is with anyone else. I love that Dani still looks suspicious and concerned. I love watching Dani piece this whole thing together. I’m honestly at a point where I think Dani is going to know about Endicott before Gil. I love that Dani gives Malcolm honest, judgement-free advise. Because she doesn’t like seeing how much pain Malcolm is in. I love that Malcolm isn’t completely shutting her out. <3

11:00 - “What if she already has?”.....yep. Dani is totally piecing the Endicott situation together. 

11:09 - “I’m overthinking it.” THIS. There is a split second where you can see the betrayal on Dani’s face. She knows Malcolm is hiding something and she’s hurt that he doesn’t trust her enough to let her in. She’s also probably hurt because she views this as a lie - which brings back 1x20 memories. 

11:35 - “Even when they’re as beautiful as you.” Ugh. I love this so so so so much. Look at how Dani absolutely lights up at Malcolm’s unintentional compliment. I relate to Dani in the sense that I’m a woman in a male dominated field (engineering). I can’t tell you how often men that she works with have probably objectified her, belittled her, and sexualized her. Malcolm isn’t doing this. He doesn’t call her hot. He doesn’t comment on her body or how she dresses. He doesn’t even acknowledge that she’s a woman. He just calls her beautiful. But he does it in a way that you can tell he’s being genuine. He doesn’t expect anything in return for the compliment. He’s not trying to play the long game. He’s just thinks she’s beautiful. He doesn’t even realize that he said it. BECAUSE Malcolm is in profiler mode. He’s focused on the murder - not Dani. He mentioned that Dani’s beauty off-handedly because 1) he believes it and 2) it was relevant to his profiling train of thought. BUT LOOK AT HOW MUCH IT MEANT TO DANI. <3 <3 <3

12:00 - Why is Chabra exiled to the corner of the room?!?! Someone explain this tomfoolery. Is it literally to just get across that Chabra is not the alpha in this corrupt plastic surgery business?!?

12:16 - Ew. Please never say YOLO. Ever. It’s cringy when kids say it but it’s so so so much worse when someone over 25 says it. 

12:18 - hhahahahahahaha OMG. Dani’s face after he says “yolo”. 

12:31 - Yep. This dude is an asshole. DO NOT try to convince Malcolm to get plastic surgery. The dude has enough problems without adding dysmorphia to the mix. 

12:41 - Yep. Chabra is the little puppy that follows Donahue around and does the grunt work.

12:50 - LOOK AT THE NOD DONAHUE GIVES CHABRA when Chabra denies that stock has gone missing. Can you arrest someone for being a rich, corrupt, asshole?! Ugh. Hate him. 

13:20 - Ugh. I really want to know more about Dani’s past. Who in the NYPD tried to belittle, micromanage, or sexualize her just because she’s a woman?

13:30 - “I want Donahue to be the bad guy.” PREACH SISTER.

13:48 - “Easy. We just isolate him with our own alpha males.” hahaha OMG. LET”S GO. I was so pumped when this scene cut to JT and Gil. BUT I was also a little sad. Malcolm doesn’t consider himself to be an alpha male (I mean, he’s not) but it really just drove home to be that Malcolm sees himself as broken. Gil has been Malcolm’s positive male role model for years. But Malcolm doesn’t think he’s anything like Gil. Malcolm thinks he’s broken where Gil is whole, weak where Gil is strong, and bad when Gil is good. It just sort of broke my heart. 

14:00 - hahaha Chabra is just a wimp. Watching Gil and JT play angry cop, calm cop was so so so good though. <3 

14:05 - This was the moment that I remembered LDP was directing this episode. I’m not usually someone who notices camera work or anything but this was a really cool shot. 

15:00 - Oh c’mon. Seriously? Edrisa’s crush has gone too far. She knows he doesn’t like her romantically. Everyone knows it. Please stop this. I’m getting secondhand embarrassment. 

15:16 - Did Edrisa think they were going to do it in the morgue?!? Those flowers?!? Like wtf. I can’t. 

15:29 - I’ll give props to Malcolm here. He’s being really kind to Edrisa here. BUT HE NEEDS TO TELL HER HE’S NOT INTERESTED BECAUSE SHE’S CLEARLY NOT GETTING THE MESSAGE. 

15:33 - Ugh. Look at how uncomfortable Malcolm is. This is upsetting.

16:08 - “What?!? How do you -” Panic. Pure panic in Malcolm’s eyes. Damn. This boy is spiralling. Someone needs to find out about Endicott. Malcolm can’t keep trying to protect Ainsley and Jessica alone. It’s literally killing him. 

17:14 - “All she could see was the ugliness she felt inside.” “That’s a sad way to live.” .........the parallels between the plastic surgery, dysmorphia, and vengeful crime of the week to Malcolm’s current mental health and Ainsley’s crime is slowly killing me. I’m honestly getting annoyed that the other characters aren’t picking up on all the subtle references Malcolm’s making to the fact that he thinks he’s a monster. I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO COMFORT HIM. THAT’S ALL. WHY IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FEDAK!??! 

17:30 - Another point to the Dani/Malcolm friendship. She takes out the gun and pushes Malcolm back. Is she trying to protect him? Technically, yes. BUT she’s just doing her job. I love that Malcolm respects Dani enough to let her take charge and do her job. I love that he’s secure enough about his masculinity to let her. 

18:15 - Yikes. This woman is 90% plastic. Cosmetic plastic surgery is terrifying. 

20:16 - Another reminder of the woman’s ward. Either Sophie Sanders or Ainsley is going to end up in that ward soon (I’m still half-convinced that Sophie is going to appear out of the woodwork and take the fall for Endicott). 

21:49 - “...convinced her that she would never have a career unless she looked the part.” <3 Look at how disgusted Gil is when Dani tells him that. Gil is a good man and I love him forever. <3 

22:33 - I love this. Dani and Gil are both concerned about Malcolm and communicating it in looks. It won’t be long until there’s a team intervention for Malcolm’s mental health (or at least, that’s my headcanon - if someone wants to write me a fic about it I’ll love you forever).

22:44 - WTF GIL. WHY AREN’T YOU ASKING MALCOLM WHAT’S WRONG?!?! IS IT BECAUSE YOU ALREADY KNOW AND YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO FEEL ABOUT IT YET?!?! 

22:49 -.....soooooo does this mean that Gil already knew that Birdie existed?!? How often did Birdie appear after Martin’s arrest?!?! I WANT DETAILS.

23:06 - Holy shit. Look at that little smirk Ainsley shoots Malcolm when he first walks in and sees her. Ainsley is maliciously toying with Malcolm and I DON”T LIKE IT.

23:14 - Jessica is concerned. I promise you Ainsley and Malcolm have rarely - if ever - fought like this in front of her. I was raised in single parent home after my abusive dad left. I know how that changes the sibling dynamic. No matter how genuinely pissed off you are - you don’t stress Mom out more. If you’re just annoyed with each other and doing regular ‘sibling squabbling’ - then you whine and argue in front of Mom. But if you’re seriously angry with each other - you deal with it when Mom isn’t home to see it because no matter what - you both appreciate how hard Mom is working to keep what’s left of your family together. 

23:28 - “Malcolm. Looking more like your father every day.” BITCH. Did she just say that because she watched Malcolm go off on Ainsley? Sure, Malcolm was a little controlling (probably similar to a situation Birdie witnessed between Jess and Martin back in the day) but HOLY SHIT. That is your nephew. Maybe he’s having a bad day. Maybe being told he resembles a serial killer is really damaging to his already fragile pysche. I don’t like Birdie. AND I DON”T LIKE THAT JESSICA DOESN”T STAND UP FOR MALCOLM HERE. 

24:00 - I don’t like this. These Martin+Capshaw scenes are really hard to watch. Martin is still acting like Martin - manipulative, egotistic, manicA. But he’s also acting like a professional doctor (an asshole doctor but still). It’s really disconcerting to watch Capshaw take his medical opinion seriously. Plus - there’s something about Capshaw that creeps me out. I just haven’t figured out what it is yet. But I’m pretty sure she’s a bad lady.  

24:16 - “What bit should I use?” - See this? No. Just...no. I don’t like how she’s taking Martin’s medical advise to heart so readily. 

25:04 - Why was Martin allowed to watch the procedure?!? He’s clearly getting a sick amount of pleasure from the blood and drilling. Look at the way Martin grins at Capshaw too. Martin is planning out an entire scheme to manipulate Capshaw into helping him escape. You can see the metaphoric lightbulb above his head. 

25:29 - This meal. Seriously. Was I the only one who got a glimpse of the meat in a red sauce and thought “human meat”?!? No wonder Malcolm’s main food group is liquorice. 

25:44 - Poor Jessica. She is not having a good time. Jessica’s behaviour in this scene is really interesting though. Jessica repeatedly shoots apologetic looks at Malcolm. She looks at Ainsley with fear. She looks super uncomfortable. She’s not saying much because she desperately wants a relationship with her sister but she also doesn’t want to belittle her son’s career. She’s proud of Malcolm - in her own way. 

26:00 - “The family trust fund would run dry.” hahahahaha YES MALCOLM. THROW THAT SHADE. hahahaha

26:23 - “Most of the time anyway” Wow. Uncalled for. I know Ainsley is mad but this isn’t cool. I have this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that Birdie has been approached by Europol about the Endicott murder. I have this terrifying notion that Birdie is trying to collect intel so she can sell the information to Europol. If I’m right (which I’m probably not) this comment will not help Malcolm’s case.

26:41 - hahaha look at how annoyed Jessica is. Is she annoyed because her children are openly fighting in front of their Aunt when Jessica wants to portray the “perfect, undamaged family”? Or is Jessica annoyed because what Ainsley just said was out of line and she’s scared of Ainsley right now?

27:02 - “Why would you do that? I told you I would handle everything.” This. This is why I will argue that Ainsley is way out of line. Yes, Malcolm is sort of trying to control her. BUT listen to his words, the desperation and fear in his voice. Malcolm is trying to protect Ainsley. Ainsley has every right to be annoyed with him but if she was functioning at an adult mental capacity she’d be able to see that he isn’t being malicious. 

27:35 - The fact that Birdie is a backstabbing, lying bitch is so frustrating to me. Look at how badly Jessica wants to have a healthy relationship with her little sister. Jessica just wants a girl-friend to confide in and drink with. I’m heartbroken that Martin stole that from her. 

28:05 - I know LDP was directing this episode but JT or Dani should’ve called Malcolm. Why? This conversation between Gil and Malcolm (WHEN GIL IS WEARING HIS COAT) just makes me wonder - where is Gil going? JT is at Donahue’s apartment. Dani and Malcolm are going to talk to Chabra. Where is Gil going?!? 

29:07 - ....how did Donahue get the coke into the cheetah? Was there a release thingy (like in a piggy bank) that Malcolm just elected not to use in the panic of the moment? 

29:14 - “What else would you hide in a cheetah?” hahahahahaha

29:40 - “No. No. Only if I got the dose wrong.” Yikes. Malcolm is operating in full panic mode here. This is not good for his mental health. 

30:08 - “This is the worst cooking show ever.” hahaha this was hilarious but cooking show? What? Do I not watch enough of those? Because I don’t see the link. 

30:38 - The moment when Malcolm looks at Dani with fear. He thinks he just killed Chabra and he’s terrified that Dani is looking at him with hatred. :( 

30:46 - The two seconds when Malcolm thinks he killed someone. Look at his face. That boy is broken. Again - if he doesn’t have a full on mental breakdown soon I’m going to be so annoyed with the writers because NO HUMAN CAN WITHSTAND THIS MUCH TRAUMA THIS QUICKLY - WITHOUT ANY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT - AND COME OUT FUNCTIONAL. 

31:03 - “I do not miss drugs.” :O Dani :( Sweetie <3 Ugh. This line was heartbreaking because it hurts to remember that Dani had a drug problem. But it’s also really great. She was just in front of 1 gram of cocaine. She didn’t grab for it. It didn’t reawaken the urge to use in her. She was strong enough to say “I don’t miss this life” and say it OUT LOUD in front of Malcolm. <3 Friendship. She’s starting to trust Malcolm more. This is good....until she finds out about Endicott. 

31:45 - Wait. If Birdie knew about Endicott and Jessica.....does she know about Gil?!?!

31:49 - “Trust but verify.” That’s such a heartbreaking way to live. I hate that she has to live in a world without trust because of what Martin did. I want Jessica to be happy. So so badly. 

32:06 - .....how did Jessica find out about the book?!!?! Seriously.

32:17 - “Mummy”. Mrs. Milton is alive?!?! What. OMG. So....but how? Jessica is living in the Milton family home. Jessica is rich. But Birdie has been cut off from the family money. However, it’s clear from this conversation that Jessica and her mother aren’t on speaking terms. So how did this work? When did Jessica move into the Milton family home and why? Where is Jessica’s money coming from? Did Jessica invest her trust fund money smartly and make a fortune? Does Jessica still have access to the Milton family bank accounts?!? AND WHERE IS JESSICA’S DAD?!!? I WANT MORE INFORMATION FEDAK. 

32:49 - Malcolm is his mother’s son. Look at this. Jessica is so hurt by what Birdie has done. However, Jessica sighs, takes a breath and helps her little sister out at the cost of causing herself pain. Malcolm would do the exact same for Ainsley. He has. 

33:40 - “And do we need to talk about last night?!?” Gil has been different this season. Less soft. More strict. 

33:51 - Look at how Gil stares at Dani here. He’s annoyed and concerned. Concerned because she was in close proximity to drugs last night. Annoyed because he created a monster. Gil put together is badass, sarcastic daughter with his unstable, awkward son and they are creating a headache for him.

34:41 - “even for consultants?” hahaha

36:50 - The irony that our killer of the week is a woman who is in pain, feels disfigured, and murders in revenge is so so thick. 

37:18 - “It’s enough to drive anyone insane”.....like the emotional pain that Malcolm is currently suffering from?

38:42 - “The best revenge is letting him live like this.” The moment Malcolm realized that Ainsley was manipulating him. Look at the hurt and fear on his little face. :( 

39:00 - Ugh. I can’t tell who’s manipulating who in this whole Capshaw+Martin relationship but it’s all gross. I swear if they become romantic I will puke. These two are a psychopathic match made in heaven. 

40:08 - I could write essays upon essays about this final scene but I need to sleep. So it’s going into point form without time stamps:

First off - Halston Sage and Tom Payne give us an AMAZING performance in this scene and they deserve an Emmy for it. Seriously. 

Look at how Ainsley walks into the room. She’s self-satisfied. She feels no remorse. She’s pleased that Malcolm has been suffering. 

Look at how utterly empty Malcolm is when he greets Ainsley. This boy is in shock. He’s so deeply hurt and he just had one of his greatest fears confirmed - Ainsley is like Martin. 

“Do you have any idea what you put me through?!?” This. Yes, Malcolm is upset and hurt but there’s a part of me that genuinely thinks this question isn’t rhetorical. There’s a part of me that thinks Malcolm is desperately trying to get Ainsley to admit to feeling remorse so that he can convince himself that his baby sister isn’t gone forever. 

“Do you?” Ainsley is mad. She has a right to be. Malcolm did lie to her. He probably should’ve told her the truth. HOWEVER, if Ainsley was a functional adult - she would’ve just confronted Malcolm about it. She has every right to be pissed but her behaviour has been downright petty, juvenile, and cruel. 

“Underestimated me. For months.” Is this the root of Ainsley’s anger? She mentioned something similar in 1x6 when Jessica and Malcolm tried to stop her from visiting Martin. She resents Jessica and Malcolm for treating her like a child. For trying to protect her from Martin. On one hand, I understand - that’s probably suffocating and frustrating. On the other hand, Ainsley’s acting like a child so....why wouldn’t they treat her like one?

“I have given up everything for you!! I don’t even know who I am anymore.” This breaks me. Malcolm is screaming through tears. He’s so utterly broken (this doesn’t count as a mental breakdown Fedak....you better give me more). Malcolm is rightfully frustrated that Ainsley doesn’t acknowledge that he literally threw out his moral code to protect her. That when this gets out - his relationship with his only real friends since he was 10 years old (JT and Dani) will probably want nothing to do with him. Malcolm probably thinks that Gil will abandon him WHEN the Endicott thing comes out. Malcolm has thrown his fragile mental health down the drain to protect Ainsley. He thinks he’s a monster. Yes. Malcolm made the choice to protect Ainsley. Ainsley doesn’t have to be grateful. She doesn’t have to respect his decision. But acknowledging that his decision was made out of love would sure help. Malcolm wanted to be a good big brother so badly that he threw away his sense of self.

“Protect me? Or control me?” Wow. Okay. I get it. Ainsley feels controlled which is bad for someone who likes being in control. But Malcolm was never trying to control Ainsley. Malcolm was trying to control a situation. Not a person. Is what Malcolm did right? No, lying to Ainsley wasn’t a great choice. But telling her the truth also wasn’t a great choice. He was damned either way. 

“For someone who spent the last few decades trying to recover from being gaslight; it’s ironic how quickly you resorted to it.” Uncalled for. Was Malcolm gaslighting Ainsley? Technically, yes. HOWEVER, one of the main criteria for gaslighting is that the gaslighter is aware that they’re gaslighting someone. I honestly don’t think Malcolm realized he was gaslighting Ainsley - look at his face when she mentions it: he looks heartbroken. BESIDES. How is AINSLEY NOT GASLIGHTING MALCOLM RIGHT NOW?!?! “That’s exactly what Dad would say.” She’s trying to convince Malcolm that he’s just like Martin. She’s made him believe that she murdered a second person. She made him an accomplice to her fake murder. She knowingly continued with this ruse after he came clean and told her the truth. And he was nothing but supportive and protective. Malcolm helped her hide a body. Why is Ainsley playing the victim?! 

Look at the torture on Malcolm’s face right before he apologizes to Ainsley for lying to her. This boy is being gaslight and he doesn’t even realize it. 

FURTHERMORE I DON’T RECALL AINSLEY APOLOGIZING TO MALCOLM FOR MAKING HIM 1) HIDE A BODY, 2) LIE TO THEIR MOM, 3) LIE TO GIL, 4) AN ACCOMPLICE TO A SECOND (FAKE) MURDER, 5) LYING TO MALCOLM ABOUT THE SECOND MURDER. She just says, “Maybe it was a little over the top.” Come on. No. 

“I appreciate that.” SERIOUSLY. Ainsley doesn’t even have the curtesy to say “I’m sorry too.” or “I know you did what you thought was best”?!? Her response feels bitter and angry. She doesn’t forgive Malcolm. She’s still livid despite the fact that her brother is literally breaking apart in front of her. There’s no questioning the genuineness of Malcolm’s apology. That’s sincere pain and remorse. 

This whole scene is super disturbing because Malcolm is on the verge of tears. He’s visibly upset. Yet - Ainsley is channeling a quiet, disassociating anger (similar to what she looked like right before she murdered Endicott). She’s completely consumed by anger. She’s not acting rationally and it’s really disconcerting to watch the contrast between the two siblings. 

“I had to make sure that you were never going to mess with my head again.” .....you know, a functional adult human (hell, even a half-functional adult human) would just verbally confront their sibling about it. They probably wouldn’t fully trust or forgive their sibling right away but they wouldn’t pull a stunt as cruel and malicious as Ainsley just pulled on Malcolm. The problem with Ainsley’s behaviour vs. Malcolm’s is this: Ainsley is intentionally hurting Malcolm out of anger. Ainsley wants revenge. Malcolm reacted out of fear and panic to protect Ainsley. Malcolm just wants to be a good big brother. Neither of them are perfectly in the right but Ainsley is so so so out of line. 

“You need to lighten up. We got away with it.” Ainsley is a serial killer. Say it from the rooftops. This is the first time she’s shown an emotion other than anger/disassociation all episode. Ainsley is happy that they got away with it. Malcolm is crumpling under the guilt and grief but Ainsley is happy. 

“No one does this murder stuff better than us.” Holy shit. I can’t. Malcolm looks so so so heartbroken here. He just realized that his sister is gone forever. AND AINSLEY damn. This girl needs some serious help. She’s going to kill again. She liked it the first time. I bet you she slaughtered the pig just to get her fix. She could’ve boughten the pig’s blood from a butcher shop or something but I bet you she killed the pig herself. And I bet you she liked it.

Hoxley is a flamboyant gay and a cocky profiler. That’s just a fact. 

I can’t. Alan Cummings will always be the villain from Spy Kids to me. I don’t know how I’m going to take Hoxley seriously. 

Yoooooo Endicott’s head is creepy af. 

Damn. This isn’t good. Hoxley is going to ruin Malcolm’s life. I can feel it. 

Okay. I loved this episode. I have a lot of feelings about it (obviously). I’m so bitter that we have to wait until April 13th for the next episode. See you guys next time. If you read this far - thanks for hanging out. 

#jess-rewatches-prodigal #malcolm bright #prodigal son #gil arroyo #dani powell #JT Tarmel #ainsley whitly #martin whitly #edrisa tanaka #jessica whitly #I LOVE this show #whump #rewatch #spoliers #malcolm needs a hug #ps #so good #Face value #s2 #e7 #2x7 #02x07 #2x07

[bubonickitten]

Relistening to TMA yet again (new hyperfixation, what can I say), and I can’t emphasize enough how much these early episodes kill me.

Because for a long time, Jon doesn’t realize what he’s becoming. And yeah, that’s obvious -- but it’s even more heartbreaking on a relisten, because he senses that something is off, but from his perspective the changes are so incremental that he doesn’t realize how much he’s changing until he’s in too deep. 

He finds himself getting attached to this tape recorder (even when he initially hated it), but tries not to think too hard about that. He’s becoming obsessed with recording everything, and tells himself that he’s doing it for posterity’s sake. Jon is adept at using outward denial to hide his inner, nonstop, overthinking doubt. (Eventually it escalates to full-blown paranoid information gathering, which I think is where the Eye’s influence really starts to show, but more on that later.)

At first, it’s a safe half-lie (or at least not full-truth) to tell himself. He’s an academic, a researcher. He no doubt has a deep appreciation for the preservation of history, for the documentation of human experience -- that part is probably true. It’s how he makes sense of the world (and that started when he was a child, when the main way he interacted with the world was through books). And let’s be honest, the man is a nerd, and (I say this lovingly and with a tendency to infodump myself) he was probably prone to infodumping long before he became the Archivist. (Giving a Wikipedia summary of emulsifiers at a coworker’s birthday party, anyone?)

But beneath all that, Jon is just... scared. And Jonathan Sims comes to fear a lot of things, but one of his first fears was being forgotten. So it’s no wonder he takes so well to the compulsion to record, document, archive. 

Makes sense; he was, by his own admission, emotionally neglected as a child. And sometimes harassed. He chalked it up to being “a deeply annoying child,” which -- oof, no wonder he acts like an ass sometimes. Even if he was adept at social interaction (which he’s not), keeping people at arm’s length can feel a lot safer than letting them close and risking rejection when they decide you’re too much to handle. 

Point is, being ignored or ostracized was already painful, but it became his normal. Being forgotten, though, would be a existentially terrifying step beyond that. 

All of this is put into even starker relief after “A Guest For Mr. Spider.” At 8 years old he witnessed someone get snatched from the world without a trace – someone ten years his senior, who died because he made the choice to torment Jon and just did so at the exact wrong moment (or perhaps right? Maybe the Web decided that early that Jon was more useful alive). But despite the fact that it was his bully, Jon has survivor’s guilt over it. He feels responsible. He admits that it’s illogical for him to think he could have done anything  differently—he was eight—but he still comes out of that experience with the fundamental belief that being forgotten would be a unique kind of punishment that he believes even his bully didn’t deserve.

It’s such a raw, vulnerable moment when he finally admits it out loud: “Because I’m scared, Martin!” All that denial was external, and so fragile that it took one panicked moment for him to drop the veneer. But internally? Jokes about his obliviousness aside -- and, yes, in a lot of ways, Jon is that smart dumbass -- he’s got some self-awareness. He’s put two and two together, realized that the “real” statements don’t record digitally. He’s seen the artifact storage. He’s had a Leitner-based trauma, like so many statement givers. He’s just scared and he Does. Not. Want. To. Talk. About. It. 

He tries to hide it early on behind a cold, stoic academic demeanor, but that… doesn’t last long, and once that veneer drops, he absolutely spirals into open paranoia and fear. And going forward, he really doesn’t hide his terror much. When he’s threatened, we hear him beg for his life. Even when he thinks the world might be better off without him, he still doesn’t want to die. He’s afraid of death, and after S1, he doesn’t try to pretend otherwise. (I really appreciate a horror protagonist who shows fear even when they’re trying to be brave.) 

So, by the end of S1, we get to see him start to admit that his new obsessive behavior is not just a detached academic interest, or his workaholic urge to do his job well. It’s because he’s scared. But beyond that, through S2 and into S3, he starts to admit that beneath that, there’s something else going on. His rapidly escalating paranoia spiral is due to trauma, as well as the realization that Gertrude was murdered, as well as the general sense of uneasiness and distrusts that permeates the Institute (the Eye loves that shit), but also, honestly?? I think this is where the Eye starts to really get a grip on him. The Ceaseless Watcher, the fear of, in Gerry’s words, “needing to know, even if your discoveries might destroy you. The feeling that something, somewhere, is letting you suffer, just so it can watch.”

Beyond the tape recorder obsession, Jon doesn’t seem to notice early on that when he reads statements, it’s almost like he’s in a trance. (I think one of the first episodes where he starts to notice this is actually in MAG 32, when he’s reading Jane Prentiss’ statement. His introduction to the statement is shaky, stilted, like he’s dreading it; when he’s reading Jane Prentiss’ words, it’s like he’s channeling her tone and delivery in a far more extreme way than he has before; and when he’s done, he’s clearly unsettled by the experience.) 

(Another thing that stands out to me on a relisten is his tone shift when talking to Elias in MAG 40 -- he has an almost dreamy, trancelike delivery of the line: “Tens of thousands of... things without mouths screaming as one.” Like he’s reliving a flashback, yes, but there’s something else in his delivery of that line that continues to show up in his later spooky-Archivist-powers moments. And Elias pauses, and I can only imagine him thinking in that moment, all smug and conniving, Good. Jon is starting to become The Archivist.)

And, of course, Jon also doesn’t notice when he starts being able to compel statements--which is kind of funny, because my first thought when listening to early statements was, “How are all these statements so detailed and coherent? Did all these statement givers take creative writing classes or something?” But Jon doesn’t really seem to question that at first. It becomes more clear when the archive assistants try to take statements -- the statement givers can’t stay on topic, can’t remember details, can’t relive the moment in the same way they can if they’re forced to through compulsion. Adelard Dekker mentions that in one of his letters to Gertrude, too. It’s also sad, though, because he kept getting accused of forcing people to answer questions when he didn’t realize he was doing it (e.g. his interviews with Basira, Daisy, and Jude). 

It’s just... such a gradual downward spiral. And yeah, there’s something tragic about that--and it isn’t going to end well; this is a horror-tragedy story after all--but one of the things I like about Jon is that he works so, so hard to change and become a better person in spite of what the Beholding is trying to turn him into. 

I’m getting way off-topic. Basically, Jonny Sims is... very good at character development, and it’s fun to relisten and start to pick out the moments when things start to go wrong, the little details that maybe didn’t stand out so much on my first listen. Admittedly I, much like Jon Sims, have my own little conspiracy corkboard flavor of overthinking, so some of this might just be me reading too far into it. But still, I like all the layers going on here. 

#tma meta #the magnus archives #tma #jonathan sims #jon sims #tma spoilers #long post #also. in s2. jonathan sims has never had a paranoid episode before and IT SHOWS. he is Not Prepared #don't get me started on neurodivergent jon sims but like. dang. that paranoia spiral #big relatable mood

[yamayamawrites]

Any ship, you say? How about Chlogami or Felix/Chloe from ML?

Chlogami sounds interesting; I’ve never heard that one before! I assume your request is based on the “Accidental Confessions” post I made earlier this week, so I wrote a prompt about that! I’m sorry if you meant for me to post based on something else!

Also, before I continue, I haven’t seen S3 of Miraculous yet (I know, I know, I really need to get on it), so I wrote this based on my knowledge of the characters from the end of S2! I really hope you enjoy, and again, sorry for any misunderstandings/my lack of current Miraculous knowledge!

Kagami couldn’t quite tell what it was, exactly, about Chloe that seemed so revolting and yet so passionate. She watched the way Chloe interacted with people: demanding, cold, and downright ruthless sometimes. She often wondered how many of their classmates could bear to be around her; and then there were moments like this, where Chloe’s stubbornness did weird things to her. Here Chloe stood, outside her home, with a shiny, bedazzled fencing sword idly tucked by her side.

“You want me…to teach you?” Kagami asked.

“Well, Adri-kins said that I should try it, but he’s much too busy and I really want to impress him by knowing it all right from the start…” Chloe rubbed her neck. Her confidence dwindled in the presence of Kagami, and for some reason that amused the dark-haired girl.

What could the harm possibly be?

“My daddy is willing to pay you!” Chloe added for good measure, though Kagami’s mind was already made up. Laughter bubbled from Kagami’s throat and she grabbed the girl by the wrist, receiving a “hey!” of protest. She pulled Chloe into the apartment and slammed the door, then immediately went to work pushing their living room furniture out of the way to practice.

“I don’t want your money,” Kagami said finally. Her gaze settled back on Chloe. “I want to teach you the art of fencing. It might do your prissy attitude some good.”

“I most certainly do not have a prissy attitude!” Chloe stomped her foot for good measure. Kagami laughed again and waved her hand.

“I admire your drive, Chloe. You’re going to need to really want this, though, otherwise you’ll end up giving up after one lesson.”

Chloe braced herself with her bedazzled sword in hand. “I really want this. Please, teach me!”

Their first practice went so comically bad that Kagami honestly expected Chloe to never return. Chloe hadn’t gotten a single hit on Kagami, which was exactly what Kagami imagined would happen. In fact, Chloe had worked herself up so much about not being good at something on the first try that she had broken into a sweat – probably for the first time in her life, Kagami thought idly with a snicker – and when Chloe stomped out of the apartment later that evening, Kagami assumed that would be the end of it.

But Chloe was back the next afternoon, and the look of determination was set on her face. And she came back every day for a week, always stopping to say “Please teach me!” as if begging. Kagami had to laugh at the way the word ‘please’ stuck to the back of Chloe’s throat, like she was trying to speak through a mouthful of sticky peanut butter. She began to wonder if she was only doing this because Chloe was amusing to watch.

Almost a month after Chloe started visiting Kagami to practice, Kagami remembered why she was doing this in the first place. After finishing up for the day, while the two moved furniture back into place, Kagami brought it up. “Hey, about you wanting to play Adrien…you’re getting pretty good. Have you asked him about it again?”

“Oh, hah, no…” Chloe admitted with a sheepish grin, and – maybe a blush? “I want to get really, really good. Like, your level good!”

“You sure are determined,” Kagami noted with a whistle. “Hate to break it to you, though, but this skill took me about a decade. I’ve been fencing since elementary school.”

Chloe groaned and threw her hands to her face. “I don’t have that kind of time!” she whined. “Maybe I should just give up…”

“Hey,” Kagami suddenly felt a pang of annoyance (and maybe sadness) at the thought of their fencing sessions ending, “you’ve improved a lot quicker than most people. You’ll probably be good enough to at least hold your own against Adrien in—um, maybe a few years?”

Chloe groaned again and threw herself onto the couch they just finished moving back into place. “But that’s so long!”

“That’s what it takes to be skilled at something,” Kagami replied thoughtfully, sitting down next to her. “And you can’t be skilled at something if you don’t have a strong enough will to do it. So, why do you?”

“Why do I what?”

“Why do you want to get better at fencing?”

Chloe stopped to ponder this for a minute. In all honesty, Kagami pushed her so hard in practice that she had been certain after the first few days she wouldn’t return…but here she was, with Kagami’s imploring eyes on her, expecting an answer. “I…don’t know,” Chloe mumbled finally.

“There’s the problem,” Kagami stated matter-of-factly. “Once you figure that out, you’ll either find that you don’t want to keep doing it, or you want to push yourself to keep doing it.”

“Well, why do you do it?”

Kagami supposed this might be the first time Chloe showed any sort of concern for her home life, and for some reason that made her blush. “Well, my family has a legacy, and I want to uphold it.”

“How noble,” Chloe teased, but it wasn’t the way Chloe teased the kids at school. She wore a smile – not a sly grin, but an actual smile, and she nudged at Kagami’s arm gently. “Well, I should get going for today. I’ll see you back here tomorrow?”

“Same time, same place,” Kagami agreed, and she walked Chloe to the door.

After summer vacation began, Chloe started coming over sooner and staying later. They didn’t fence the whole time, by any means – in fact, their training became a bit more relaxed as Chloe embraced her sporadic superhero status as Queen Bee. But she also improved a lot quicker, and when the girls did practice fencing, it usually ended with the house a mess as their fencing match traveled from room to room.

Kagami threw herself over her bed in her bedroom, closely followed by Chloe, who laughed despite her heavy breathing from the amount of physical activity they were doing. She had the sword trained on Kagami, and had Kagami been just half a second late on her reaction, she would have gotten hit. She dove at the last second as Chloe jabbed a potted plant and knocked it off Kagami’s shelf. It unceremoniously shattered as the girls continued their match back into the living room.

It ended with Chloe finally getting the better of Kagami as Kagami tried to vault herself over the couch and her foot caught on a throw blanket on the edge. Kagami fell on the ground, laughing and panting, and Chloe slumped down next to her, laughing all the same.

Chloe stared up at the ceiling, realizing this was why she continued fencing. Not because she enjoyed fencing, but because she enjoyed Kagami’s company.

“I enjoy your company too, Chloe,” Kagami said through soft breaths.

“Did I say that out loud?!” Chloe flushed with embarrassment.

“Well, I heard it, so either that or I read your mind.”

The practice matches continued all the way through summer vacation, and Kagami and Chloe found themselves taking days off more and more frequently to go see a movie together or get ice cream together. Each time Kagami mentioned Chloe’s fated fencing match with Adrien, she blushed and changed the topic, which only made Kagami prod more.

“Seriously, did you two get together or something?” Kagami asked over takeout one day, her cheeks heating up with some sort of anger at the idea of Chloe getting with Adrien.

“No! No, it’s not like that,” Chloe stammered. “I haven’t even really talked to him. He’s been busy with tutors all summer.”

Kagami sighed. “I don’t mean to get so upset about it,” she said finally, barely audible. “I just…”

“What?”

“You’re my partner,” Kagami said finally, her face burning. “I don’t want to lose you to—to Adrien.”

Chloe laughed. “Well, that won’t be a problem. I’m not in love with Adrien.”

Both of them stopped, watching each other with flushed cheeks. Kagami’s mouth hung open in surprise. Finally Chloe hung her head. “Uh…I said that out loud, didn’t I.”

“Yep.”

“Please don’t kick me out or something!” Chloe set the takeout down and held her hands up, as if in surrender. Kagami laughed, and the glare Chloe sent her probably indicated that it wasn’t the time for laughing.

“I’m not going to kick you out. I actually…think I might be, too.”

“U-um…huh?”

“Well I don’t know!” Kagami also held her hands up in surrender. “You said it first! Plus you look super cute in fencing gear!”

The awkwardness slowly melted away as giggles bubbled between the girls, slowly rising into full-on laughter. It eventually dawned on the two that they might have been “dating”, more or less, anyway; considering how much time they spent together and how many times they’d hung out in ways that could have been construed as “dates”, they found that actually dating was very similar to their established relationship.

They continued to fence, albeit not as seriously; now that Kagami knew Chloe was only training to be close to her, they tended to lean more towards fun than seriousness. Lots of the time their fencing sessions ended with the two of them in a heap on the floor, laughing and enjoying each other’s closeness and relishing in the newness of having someone to be close to. Chloe still came over nearly every day, and on days she didn’t Kagami would come visit her. Chloe still was the stubborn, cold person Kagami first observed when they were at school, but around Kagami, she had become something of a ray of sunshine.

That’s not to say she was the nicest person on the planet, because Kagami still caught Chloe sometimes trying to demand her to do things—but luckily, their stubbornness was a common trait and Kagami wasn’t scared to stand up to her new girlfriend.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #chloe bourgeois #kagami #chlogami

[kanene-yaaay]

Vulnerable

Author’s note: 

Thank you all very much for all the support, reblogs, heart and kinds words that you give to me. I can’t call this a christmas gift, but I really hope that you like it and this small oneshot is able to light up your day! ‘w’)s2

Just like all the random ideias this came when I was doing chorus, because, of cooooourse my brain wouldn’t give me a plot when I’m free and with time to write. xDDD

Just a bunch of fluff with all the Light Sides atke caring of Virgil. I love to write these scenarios. sorrey words. No angst today. xP

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* Lee!Virgil and Ler!Logan. However, tickling isn’t the main plot this time. xP

* Hmmm… This is a fluff fanfic with liking for tickling. If you don’t like this kind of stuff, please look for another blog, there are plenty of lovelys and fantastic arts in this site!! ‘u’).

* Something around 4000 words. -w-)b.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any advice is very very welcome!

* Fanfics em português brasileiro (Portuguese Version) ! Thank you so much for reading, my lollipops! Have a wooooonderful day regardless it’s festive or not! Take care of yourself and of your family, friends... Everyone who is dear for you!  Byeioo!~

                   [~*~]

Vulnerable.

 This was a bittersweet word. Maybe a little too much bittersweet. It was that set of letters that provoked a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach. That kind of set that if he asked to Logan to define it, would receive a very different answer from the one that he really felt to be the real one.

 Weak.

 He remembers his first days living with the others on the Light Side: spending a lot of time in his room, crackled his fingers with worrying frequency every time he got out from his place and ended up interacting with someone; was always fearful and, when this fear became almost impossible to maintain or hides and someone addressed him a word, the purple lover showed his personality abruptly, with rough and sharp words. The feelings beating, counting the seconds to see how much time it would last until they expelled him from there, because one thing was extremely certain:

 “ – I-I can’t understand. – His voice came out in a mix of tiredness and anger, sparkling almost as hard as his sharp, frustrated look. – Why do all of you still doing this? Why are keeping me here? Why don’t you kick me out? Why pretend that I never did anything wrong?? – His voice stuck in his throat before he could release the main question, that one which made his heart hurt for keep it for so long.

 ‘Why do you treat me like family?’

 - You are an essential part for Thomas’ welfare. – The voice from the logic aspect echoed in the room occupied only by the two sides. In truth, initially it was only for Virgil to be there. However, Logan just settled down a few inches away from the first one, a book in hands and deaf ears for the growl that came from the mouth of the anxious aspect. – Your vigilant and awareness about the reality’s state helps him to keep his two feet on the ground. Something that I am grateful.

 And then he elevates his glare, taking by surprise the pair of brown eyes, which quickly deviated his attention to the wall, before hearing the phrase that let out from the other lips, in a definitely softer tune.

 - None of us is perfect. We never were.

 Virgil felt his body relaxes with relief. Absolutely against his desire.

  He was not like any of them.

 It took a few days for these first reactions to fade little by little. The urge to flee decreased and the frequency he went out increased. He stopped to throw out sharp and rough words to speak less often. He would let himself fall in the steps of the stair and stayed there watching his phone and listening music. Much because it was his favorite hobby, and part because as this he could easily observed (and mot of time unnoticed) the Light Sides interacting.

  “- Hey, easy there. – Warm, loving hands gently held his own, and Virgil controlled his first instinct to retreat and flight, quickly recognizing Patton’s voice and gestures. Was it weird that in such short time he already could recognize each of them? By their voice’s timbre, way to walk, the position they had around him… Would it be weird if some day they knew that he already was aware about of all this? – You will end hurting yourself, son. – As the one who wears glasses spoke, he untangled Virgil’s fingers, since the purple lover was crackling them in five different ways since the beginning of the movie, when he was called to join the Family Movie Night.

 The paternal side has a special skill to utter more than words said, and Virgil felt his ears burn with the blush that hit his face when he realized how deep, delicate and affectionate that phrase was.

 - I am not your son. – Complained in a mix of grumbled and growl that only could be researched and pronounced with a lot of training. Patton laughed and intertwined one of their hands, the other one being free to ruffle the hair strands of the anxious side, who falsely angry puffed, breaking free from the touch.

 - Sure you’re not, Hamilson! – Roman smiled brightly, extremely happy and proud for the reference utilized by the heart’s representation. Logan seemed be the only one who really was paying attention on the movie, and soon Virgil joined him.

 Partly because the plot was really interesting and part because he wanted to ignore the sense of comfort emanating from his hand, which would be totally separated from Patton’s one if it wasn’t for the two little fingers that still tangled. Again, absolutely against his desire.

  And, with the pass (a little more) of time (his own time) he changed from the stairs to the couch and started to do the chores by the morning and not just at dawn, when the others were away or asleep. He also began to smile more from Patton’s dad jokes and the little fights between a Logan without coffee and a sleep-drunk Roman, who didn’t stopped to summon the most eccentrics possible (and impossible) things in the kitchen.

 Virgil began to feel equally comfortable listening to his songs even when he forgot/lost/gave up to find his headphones, and, as a thank you, didn’t complained about the 150 stories and/or performances Roman created based in each one of the lyrics. Even if those didn’t have much of that bitter taste from angst that makes the whole climax even more interesting, in his opinion.

 Just as he felt free to lean against the back of Logan’s armchair, reading over his shoulders when realized that the one who wears tie enjoyed some book about astronomy, since the theories about of how the Universe and everything with it emerged, were too precious to leave the shame kept him from reading.

 The sporadic jumpscares from the logical side as he became suddenly aware about the other’s presence were equally appreciated.

 And, in the end, Virgil relaxed and lowered his guard enough to take a nap when Patton sat at besides him on the couch, either to try ‘just one more!’ of the thousands of handworks that he so much loved, or just to lay down his legs after a particularly hard day on the kitchen. Sometimes he would woke up when the paternal side softly pulled him to rest his head in his shoulder or lap (depending on how much both were sprawled out in the furniture), running his fingers through his purple hair from time to time. Sometimes humming something while working or sometimes let himself lean on Virgil for a small nap, too.

  “Thomas yawed and it might seem, to anyone who watched from the outside, that he covered the other’s mouth, due how suddenly his voice stopped to excitedly fulfill the air.

 - You are tired. – It wasn’t a question. Virgil could not detect the very tone of voice that stuffed his sentence. – You should go to sleep.

 The bed where both were resting shifted a little as the human turned to see the hours before undoing the action until he could stare the purple lover aspect.

 - It’s still early. Logan said that I should stay away from the cellphone for half an hour before bed.

 No answer.

 - Come on… - Thomas replied, his supplicant voice mingled with that puppy eyes that should have been considered a cheating so scandalous until the point to have laws to forbidden them. Virgil began to feel his barriers falling. Damn it. – You know you’re the only one who has enough persistence to keep me from picking up my phone and start to watch animals being cute.

 The one on the hoodie growled.

 - Logan also told me that the yawning is a sign that the body is attempting to stay awake, which means that your theories are so interesting that I am really trying hard to hear any and every bit o-

 - Okay, okay!! – He prevented the other from completing his phrase, covering his mouth and rolling his eyes to the laughter that hit its moments later. – Just, stop with this… sentimental stuff. Urg. – And then withdrew his hand, both turning to face the ceiling of the room, seeing more than could actually explain. – So, where were I? Oh, yes. And that is why, if the aliens remained in the area 51 and it really was in Earth, the time travel…

 …

 And for some time they slept, but, as always, Virgil found himself slightly waking up when he felt the other’s arms wrap him in a firm and affection mixture that had probably taken training and time to research; and, even more surprisingly, the side on hoodie didn’t felt himself pushing him away or sinking to his own room, and yes relaxing and sighing comfortably. Soon allowing his eyes to close and both fall back into the Dream World.

 It took a little longer to feel that he really could lower his guards. Talked more, without fear of being inconvenient, wander by the entire Mental Palace like a lost soul (he was really proud of the amount of jumpscares he manage to get from the family), sporadically visited the others sides  to chat (but only when he was sure that they were in their room and in rare moments, just as he wished it were visits to his own room); and, finally, starting to realize, step by step, memory by memory, fight to fight, discussion to discussion and intern joke to intern joke which Patton’s card, the debates with Logan, the pranks with Roman and the conversation with Thomas mean.

 Which meant being in a famILY.

 Which meant being able to be vulnerable, to be himself, to allow himself to be attacked at any time, by acts or words, just for the simple and liberating fact that none of them would do so, and vice versa. Perhaps happened to exists some bruises, however never really wanting to.

 “- You never showed me your room before. – Virgil uttered, part afraid to bring this subject up, but the other part, the most insistent, being too much curious to let the doubt arrested himself. His feet played, submerged in the water of the small river that crossed this part of the room belonging to the creative side.

- Maybe because you never seemed like a nature lover…? – The prince answered with a touch of doubt, as he wasn’t very sure about his own statement. In the end he shrugged, which was a little weird, since he was floating and keeping himself in the same place between the river flows by an only vine tangled in his wrist.

 - Fair. So, you’re the type that is carried away by the appearances, huh?

 - What!?? – With the fright, Roman almost lost his balance, trying to sit up before remembering that he was in the middle of water and not on a solid surface. For a moment everything became a mess of water being splashed to any and every possible direction, something that would worries the purple side, if it didn’t took more than a few seconds to the creativity side stabilize himself again, staring him as he has been slapped in the face.  – Pardon me?? I am the romantic side! Nothing to me is more important than the soul, the essence, the heart! ~

Virgil was almost sure that it was some flirt in this sentence, which wouldn’t be such a surprise, since it was almost countless all the times Roman flirted with every side who simply happened to pass for him.  The battle between him and Deceit remained as a historical mark in the Mind Palace.

 - Mh hm. – Virgil replied, the sarcasm flying from his tongue with an incredible facility, something that the member of royalty was plenty used to. – Just a sec that I’m gonna be right back after fake that I believe in you.

 - Take the chance and give me my cellphone to call and cancel that intimacy that you think you have with me. – The sharp look released by the one using eyelashes matched with his royal teasing smile. It took a while, as everything else in life, but both finally had researched a point where they knew the limits to play and teasing. Not everything was always clear as water (Ok. Maybe he needs to decrease his time with Patton.) however, one day the two would get there.

 Roman began to suspect when, instead to answer with acid words; the purple lover really got his phone and started to type something. He swam closer to the margin.

 - Hey, Roman. What does “Aqui esta mi numero” mean?

- … Heres my number. – Virgil gave what would have been one last click on the screen of his device, and then, from the prince’s pocket, a sound exploded echoing through all the room.

 - SO CALL ME BABY!!! HEY, I JUST MET YOU, AND IT’S CRAZY!

 The representation of creativity probably would jump something around five feet from the ground if he wasn’t in the river. With clumsy hands and several incoherent half-curses, even more inaudible amid the song and Virgil’s laugh, he took some great time before finally refuse the call, stopping 90% the sound, since the one on hoodie stilled laughing.

 - Ha! Jokes on you, Stormcloud! I do adore ‘Call Me Baby’!

 The purple lover pretended to wipe a tear from his eye, before staring at him with a smirk shining in his face.

 - So, why all the fuzz to hush i- WOW! HEY! – The currents protests was due the vines wrapped his sides, seconds before drop him the water. The prince knew about the other’s swimming skills, so, his only concern was just laughing at his mate.

 - ROMAN! – He emerged, a dangerous look glooming and leading a shiver rand down Roman’s spine and a nervous smile spread over his face. All his expression has an only message: - Run.

 Survive Advice: If the aspect of Fight and Flight tells you to run, you run. Even if you’re in the water.”

  It was about this same time he began to have these dreams, that sweet dreams, which, when you woke up, don’t feel a heavy feeling in the chest but a peace. Those dreams which he would wake up happy, refreshed, ready to open his eyes and feel joy for liking his reality. That kind of dream that was important enough to remember. Most of this kind of dreams involved the three light sides, along with Thomas.

 Due this, there was no way he would leave his room is if he was sleepy. Remus had once confirmed to him that he really did speak in he sleep, and Virgil didn’t wanted to risk the others obtained this knowledge in the most cliche and weird way possible.

 Which would be soooo much easier if Thomas wasn’t going back to the habit of sleeping at F I V E   AM in the days he considered himself on a break.

 Nevertheless, sure, nothing in his existence was easy, was it?

 So, the second the purple lover opened his heavy eyes, he was aware of four thing in the exactly same time:

 1º - He wasn’t in his room.

 2º - A blanket covered him.

 3º - His mouth was dry.

 4º - He had no idea about what time it was.

 Trying to remove the remnants from the nap rubbing his eyes, the representation of anxiety went into the kitchen, soon coming back with a glass of water and sat on the couch, thinking how pleasant his dream had been and that he should soon write down all the details to not forget the butterflies in tummy, which still persisted until now.

 - You talk in your sleep. – It was not a question. It was a statement. Virgil almost dropped his phone, his body paralyzing for a second, the memories running fast and clear through his brain. Soft touches, smiles, that unbearable and yet so good sensation in his skin…

 Laughter.

 His face automatically burned as if he was making a tomato cosplay. With little struggling a look, part relaxed and part nervous, took over his expression.

 - Is that so? Did I said something? – Took a sip of water. It wasn’t cold enough to soothe the heat that still covered his cheeks and not hot enough to dispel the cold in his belly.

 - Affirmative. – Logan adjusted his glasses; putting the bookmarker before close the book and delicacy sets its aside in the coffee table. – Interesting, indeed; and enlightening.

 Curse the day that the one who wears tie began to love mystery books and now liked to talk in codes. Who does he think he is? Yoda?? Virgil almost frowned for irritation, but wouldn’t let himself be carried away by the other’s, who carefully observed Virgil calmly lay in the couch with his phone (turned off, that’s true) in hands, game.

 - I wouldn’t define a dream like that. – Retaliated with a grin. – They aren’t the best example of logic, you know?

 - I do not believe it is more about the dream itself, and yes, what it represents. – It wasn’t his impression, Logan did approached some inches. Virgil’s muscles tensed. – Many times, due being from the human’s subconscious, the dreams can capture things that usually the own conscious mind don’t even realize. Unnoticed memories, ancient facts that seemed been forgotten… - Little break. The representation of Fight and Flight felt the blush increased. He knew. He knew, he knew he knewheknewheknewheknew!! And even worse, he knew that Virgil knew. The purple lover felt a smile starting to struggle to open in his mouth. – Unvoiced wishes.

 The aspect on hoodie jumped from the couch in a millisecond, his mind clouded by the nervousness and euphoria, which started to took over his being just for the unspoken words. Logan knew about his dream. His secret desire that, even being relaxed and adapted and feeling loved around them, he wasn’t told to anyone yet.

 Tickling.

 The aspect of ‘Fight or Flight’ does not trip, Virgil was sure, however, the quickly approaching ground questioned his belief and, when his body collapsed on it and he turned to prevent Logan, realized too late that the said already has sat on his legs, an atypical smile in his face.

 - Don’t. You. Dare. – Half smiling, half defensive. The one on hoodie attempted unsuccessfully to break free, until when those words came out from the other’s lips:

 - Only if you are comfortable with that.

 Maybe it was for the certainty with which this sentence was said, or the affection it represented, or the worry that showed, or even the dream he had before and the chase that made each one of his ticklish spots euphorically tingle with just the thought of fingers wriggling on them.

 Maybe it was even for the sincerity and calm in his glare, as if he had said nothing much. Virgil opened his mouth for some seconds, but no sound came out. His eyes met with the hand on his ribs, the sensation to feeling they still being more unbearable than imagining them moving. His entire face blushed, which he tried to hide on his shoulders.

 - Whatever.

 An amused puff was the only answer from the logic side before his fingers scratched Virgil’s neck, leading the purple lover released a light squeal and pulled his face out of the hiding place, trying to protect the attacked spot. The tickles stopped, which made him open his, almost frustrated, eyes just to find Logan simply wriggling his fingers meticulously in the air, right above his skin, going from a spot to another while spread amount of electrics shivers through his nerves

 - I wonder where I should start the experiment… Should I go up and down? Focus in just one spot? Maybe one per time should be the ideal, since you seem be too ticklish in everywhere… - Virgil began to squirm, stopping in the last second with as a frustrated grumble pushed from his mouth. Knowing the representation of the knowledge and curiosity, these wonders were true. However, the smirk growing in his expression make him doubt about that.

 After sometime, Virgil opened his mouth, ready to ask for him do something (anything!), which showed to be a bad choice, since in that very minute the fingers met his ribs and a quick giggle let out his mouth, didn’t finding any barrier to stop it. The struggle from the purple lover (and, as it seems, tickle lover, too) to escape becoming a little stronger.

 - Nahahahahaha!! Lohohohgan!! – The fingers were making circular motions in the upper ribs. First giving attention to just one, then two, then three then... This before his mind get completely messed and he felt the tem fingers hiking his ribs. – NAHAHAHAHA – Uuuuup. – Wahahahahahahahait! – Dooooown. – NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAT– Up it goes. – TheheheheheHEHEHEheheHEHEHEheHEHE!! – And now he went up and down and in random patters, focusing in just one side before presenting the same treatment to the other. Virgil hugged himself as tightly as he could, seeking prevent his arms to stop the feeling.

 - This sounds like a good place. – The logical aspect continued, his calm and stable voice being betrayed by his playfully (and a little bit crazy, it’s important to mention) painted grin. His hands stopped, moving away from Virgil and giving him time to take some sips of air and struggle to not melt in giggles that escaped from his lips. Logan held one of his hands, delicately pushing it up. – Nevertheless I ask to myself how it going to be with this so well hidden spot.

 - Lohohohohohgan! Nohoho! W-wahahahahahahait! – His face was bright by how huge was his smile, almost as luminously as the sparkle in his glare. The one who (always)  wears tie (and sometimes a unicorn onesie) slightly ned his head, his free hand entering under the hoodie and giving small light squeezes in each one ribs where he slowly walked by, generating a series of laugh intercalated by squeaks and quick jumps. He tried to free his wrist from the other’s hold.

 - Yes, Virgil? Is there something that you want to tell? – The purple side, who had the blush spread to his neck, just shook his head, without being able (or not wanting to) pronounce anything. His nose winkled and his eyes were lightly shouted down, maybe having the conciseness that the dark made him even more sensitive. ~

 Logan began to trace with an only finger irregular patterns in his armpits, happily watching him curl up a little and put even more effort to lower his arm.

 -Plehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehahahahahahase!!

 - Do you want me to speed up? Alright.

 And then all the five tickler fingers attacked all at once. Scratching, poking, wriggling, drumming and exploring every little piece of researchable skin to tickle from the other.

 - LohohohoGAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahaHAHAhaha!!! – Now, the laughter danced more freely and in a higher flow. Logan keep the tickles for a few more minutes, switching between armpits and upper ribs. Since not know the next step seemed essential to get more shrieks and high-pitched laugh.

 The logic side retreated, letting the representation of ‘Fight or Flight’ finally lower his arm and curl up, the laugh coming back to little sporadic giggles. When he opened his eyes again, Virgil faced a long dark-blue feather millimeters away from his bellybutton. His glare met Logan’s, noticing how equally his expression was with that crazy scientists, and wondering, for that brief moment, how his own expression looked like.

 “Like a light.” Logan would answer if he had the ability to read the other’s mind. “Because it looks like capable to light the darkest night.”

 “And…”

 - NononononO!

 He wriggled the feather into Virgil’s navel, who practically jumped with the sensation that hit without any warning his body.

 “He certainly would be a warning to a thunder, or even the coming storm.”

 All his nerves and instincts were laughing. Virgil was absolutely sure about that while his mind became a messy cloudy of laugh and happy tears accumulating in his eye’s corner. His smile went ear to ear and it was really impressive that Logan haven’t been hurled by the strength which he squirmed. The laugh reverberated in his chest and filled him with enjoy.

  “An adorable storm, indeed.”

 He stopped, because the loud sound could attract the others and the most rational side doubted this was something that the one on hoodie would like to. Give him some more to breath.

 - My gohohohohohohohohohosh… - He still squirming slightly, wiping some small fallen tears. – Yohohohou arehehehehe ruthlehehehehehess, right?  

 - I believe that I was quite carried away by the experiment. – He lifted up the feather, unaware about the electric shivers running Virgil’s spine just by this movement. – I suppose that you enjoy light tickles as well, am I right? Would the neck be a good spot for this?

 Virgil didn’t answered for a few moments, ultimately agreeing with a quick nod, and feeling the other rise from his, now numbs, legs. Logan readjusted himself by his side, letting the feather softly dance on his neck, tracing his jaw, which trembled for the small chuckles that escaped from the said, until this spot behind his ear, which made him release gaps of laughter.

 In the end, Logan got up, going towards the coffee table to recall his book, before coming back together with the glass of water in hands, quickly handing over to the purple side, who still couldn’t erase the euphoric wobbly smile from his face. Seconds of comfort silent permeated between both. Virgil fight against which its representation before breaking it.

 - Thank you.

 Logan blinked, a bit surprised, before nodding, putting the feather in his pocket and letting a small smile took over his mouth.

 - I’m glad for we share this… bounding moment. It was quite pleasant.

 - Seriously?

 - Sure.

 - Well it was… pleasant for me, too.

 Quick smiles. Happy glares.

 - Don’t ever talk about this with anyone! Not even about the dream! – Sibilated.

  - I’m afraid to not know what you’re talking about. – And the one who wears tie left the room, his amusing sentence still floating in the air. Virgil couldn’t help but smile one more time, absolutely against his desire, sure.

 Vulnerable.

 Now he understood the sense that this word could assume when surrounded by the right people.

 Trust.

#Virgil #Logan #Patton #Roman #Thomas #Sanders Sides #Tickles #There is tickles but just 1.000 words #Sanders Sides Tickling #Lee!Virgil #Ler!Logan #Virgil is such a cinnamon roll #KaneneFic #KaneneArt #Oneshot #Ticklish!Virgil #FamILY #Adaptation #Hope you like iiiiit #My head is fuzzy aaaaa flu w h y #<33

[calliecat93]

Top 5 Things I Liked About Red vs Blue: Season 2

(Top 5 Dislikes)

One post down, one more to go… and then twenty-six more to go for the rest of this series. Why did I decide to do this again? Meh, whatever. Let’s just get on with it as we resume looking over Season 2.

#5. Machinima

Okay, this might sound weird, but hear me out. The machinima last season was… basic. Not bad mind you, there is only so much that you can do without a lot of creativity and resources. Resources that RT didn’t have at this point in time. But mostly, they just went through the default motions. Nothing really stood out. It had some cool stuff, like them somehow managing to blow the Warthog on top of Red Base. I think they even said in the commentary that trying to replicate it for the remaster was a pain in the ass. Still, it just didn’t stand out, though the humor made you not notice.

Clearly, the RT guys wanted to push themselves a little more now that they knew how Halo operated and they could machinimate better. Which they did. I noticed a lot of little things when watching the season. Like having Caboose jumping up and down during the opening gunfight while behind a rock, or even Doc just pretending to fire his blaster. Or having Simmons more or less trembling in the finale when his… ugh… fax parts act up and you can tell what Grif is staring at when he questions it. Or adding in things like Lopez’ note in the finale, and even having it written in binary. Heck, we even have smoke come out of Grif’s helmet when Simmons catches him in the act.

These are small things, but it helps make the world and characters feel a little more alive. Clearly, machinima has its limitations, and we’re a long way away from them adding in animation. But creative people will find a way to work within their limitations, and even use those limitations to their advantage. Considering how long this show has been going, I’d say that they succeeded.

#4. Caboose’s Mind

One of the most memorable parts, and one with some actual effects on the characters, is when Church and Tex go into Caboose’s mind to kill O’Malley. It’s one of the weirdest, yet funniest parts of the season. We get to see how Caboose views everyone, with Tucker being stupid and Church being obsessed with being Caboose’s best friend. He gets them wrong, but it makes sense because it’s how /Caboose/ interprets these individuals. They aren’t supposed to be accurate. It’s especially funny when we see the Reds and only Simmons is close to right Grif is Yellow (which they outright did to prove that he was Orange to viewers), Donut is a girl since that’s what Caboose thought at the time, and Sarge has a pirate accent instead of a Southern one. 

It’s just funny to see Caboose, who at this point had been portrayed as the most dim-witted, and how he views these people. It kinda reflects what he wants with Church being his best friend and the Reds fearing him and his greatness. His ideal version of himself is pretty much a cool version of himself, though otherwise not too different. Church’s reaction and frustration at all fo this, especially Caboose!Church, only makes it funnier as is Tex being unfazed by all of it. It did kinda throw me off when I watched it the first time, but God it’s funnier on rewatch now that I know what’s going on. It’s a nice look into Caboose’s mind, and we got to see glimpses of the others int he S14 episode Head Cannon.

I think the biggest things though were for one, we got a location that wasn’t Blood Gulch finally. Sure it’s pretty much a standard video game map with a bunch of cubes, but after having the only setting be a canyon, it was refreshing. We also have some major impact with this since due to all the chaos, Caboose’s character becomes what it is now. We can debate all day how we should view Caboose and his intellectual level, but I do think that this helped endear the character to people and allowed him to stand out much, much more. Even now I know very few people, if anyone, who dislikes Caboose so while maybe they should acknowledge that he was more or less brain-damaged, the character himself has become better due to this. Which is nice~

#3. O’Malley Subplot

Speaking of Caboose’s mind, the O’Malley plot was by far the standout in this season. At first, it wasn’t too much since only Tucker cared about Caboose’s sudden murderous behavior. But once Tex came back, things picked up. While the backstory wasn’t totally accurate, it would certainly lead to more ahead. The fight in Caboose’s mind was fun. Tucker got to show some genuine competence when he came up with the plan to make the Reds turn their comms off and even using Lopez as a backup plan. With how much more competent Tucker grows later once circumstances pretty much force him to, this was an early sign showing that he is capable. He just needs to be pushed into doing it.

O’Malley himself didn’t stand out too much, just being kinda murderous. Then he escaped into Doc. I’ll go more into this next season, but this was the best decision ever. Doc is a whiny goody-two-shoes while O’Malley is gleefully, over-the-top evil. The contrast of the two personalities works super well and is just really funny to watch, though again it applies more for the next season. By the end, O’Malley makes his move and firmly sets himself up as the first proper Big Bad of the series, and he’s the perfect villain for the Blood Gulch Chronicles.

Overall, the whole subplot was really fun even though it did kind of have a slow start. It brought back Tex, had some really funny moments like the Reds' reactions to Lopez’s horrible love song. At least Donut liked it, haha~ It gave us our first proper villain, which led to one Hell of an insane finale. Even everything in between with Donut getting captured by the Blues and them trying to use this to make Sarge build them new bodies was fun to watch. The first half of S2 s super fun, but the second half is, without doubt, the best part for me. O’Malley was the catalyst, and to this day is one of my favorite villains. Love it~

#2. Improved Production Standards

Season 1 was good but flawed. It was clear that the RT guys weren’t really sure what they were doing. Audio quality was meh, jokes could drag, and the pacing was rather slow. It makes sense though when you read about what the original plans were. RvB was meant to be a miniseries, and nothing more. But pretty much a combination of them not getting to what they planned as soon as they thought (Donut was supposed to be in pink armor much sooner for example, and they realized how long it was taking to get there) as well as just coming up with more ideas extended things to a nineteen episode run. So there was no long term plan and things like writing and machinima were done in mere days in between releases. Plus there were only two main machinimators, Burnie and Geoff, and if you listen to the original S1 commentary they are both clearly exhausted. Burnie even said on a one-on-one podcast with Geoff on how they had pretty much had every conversation ever and they’d be like some old married couple just staring at each other. You can find it here if you’re interested, it’s a fun one~

So yeah… when you look back you can kinda tell that S1 was a bit of a rush job, and a tiring one at that. It’s still very good and like I said, they found ways to use so much you barely notice things were made up on the fly. But clearly, they needed a better system. Enter Matt Hullum. He had already been voicing Sarge, but he ended up stepping in to play a larger behind the scenes role. He joined Burnie on writing and directing, and thus they started planning things much farther ahead. As such, they knew the general plot and thus things could be tightened. The pacing is much better with episodes feeling faster, but having plenty of things happening. I already talked about the machinima improvements, which having Matt as well as Gus coming back from Puerto Rico also helped there. The voice acting, while still amateur, improved as well as the audio mixing. The filter is still a little distracting, but it and the general audio mixing is greatly improved. Pretty much every aspect of S1 was improved big time. It wasn’t perfect, but still, they clearly put a lot in creating a more quality product.

Season 2 had a hard job. Season One had to prove that this was a show worth watching. Season 2 had to prove that it could keep going and wasn’t just a one-hit-wonder. And ho boy did they. It’s funnier, it’s more ambitious, and even starts adding in some story. This season got the viewers from last time to come back, and probably brought in some new ones. It proved that this was a show that was sticking around and that RT had staying power. If this season failed, RvB would probably just be remembered as this funny Halo show. But it succeeded because they wanted the show to keep succeeding and be good, and that effort shows.

#1. Improved Characterizations

The thing that I enjoyed most about Season 1 was the character interactions. They just had natural chemistry and their interactions were funny. The characters themselves though were a little one-note. They had personality, but they didn’t really stand out when you compare them to other comedies like The Simpsons or South Park. I guess that RT realized this as well because this is where the characters really begin to become the same ones that we know now. Not all of them mind you like Simmons and Tucker are the least fleshed out here, but even then the signs of who they would become are there with things like Simmons clinginess to Sarge and the joke about Tucker’s rock, as well as the previously mentioned show of competence when pushed.

Donut and Grif show more of their personality, with Donut expressing his hobbies like home decor and growing to like his lightish-red armor. Grif shows his more lazy slacker attributes, like sleeping during meetings and forgetting the ammo, and his unhealthy habits like smoking and his constant eating. Which he’s pretty much doing intentionally to annoy Simmons and mess up the parts that he got from him. Lopez also got a lot of personalities now that he can talk. Namely, after the Reds nearly kill him and the Blues use him for their own means, he hates them all and his apathetic personality has stuck ever since. Poor guy has had such a hard time, haha. And I already went into Caboose, so there's no need to repeat myself. Even Shelia got sassier this season~

The one I think got the most improvement though is Sarge. In S1, he was just kind of a standard sergeant character you could find in just about any military movie, and the voice reflected it. Here? Matt just goes off the wall. He said in the S2 commentary that Sarge is pretty much the combination of various 50’s character tropes, like the grumpy old guy and the mad scientist. It shows. Sarge’s hatred of Blues and love of warfare are much more evident, especially in the finale. His hatred of Grif is also much more played up. We see that he is absolutely insane with his conspiracy theories about Lopez being brainwashed by the Blues instead of reprogrammed and turning Simmons into a cyborg instead of just getting a new robot. Sarge is the opposite of sensible, and having this guy be the leader and forcing everyone to follow his plans due to it is freakin’ hilarious. Matt exaggerating the accent from this point on only adds to this characterization and is much, much more fitting.

The characters, in my opinion, are the best part of Red vs Blue. This season demonstrates that very well. Unlike S1 where there were only shades of their later portrayal, this one uses broad strokes. I think some of the better voice acting can also be due to this since the cast now has more of a character to fool around with instead of just having to more or less act like their everyday selves. The characters were stronger, and as such the interaction and humor were even better. As such, it is my favorite part of Red vs Blue Season 2. Can they keep it up in Season 3? Well… we’ll find out soon~

#rvb #rvb reviews #top likes/dislikes

[theabominableblogger]

Harvey Bullock for the character meme

How I feel about this character

YES.  Plus if they were ever to find another live action Harvey Bullock, literally no one can be as perfect as a choice as Donal Logue.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Actually no one.  I did like his relationship with Scottie in S1 and like the first two episodes of S2 but that didn’t last long.  Outside of that, I don’t ship him romantically with anyone else.

I also liked his brief stint with Fish in S1???

My non-romantic OTP for this character

The ultimate BrOTP for him honestly is Jim.  Also, his back-and-forths with Lucius are fabulous too.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’m legit scraping my brain in order to find an unpopular opinion about Harvey...

I will admit that I was frustrated with Harvey in half of S4 mainly because of his choices.  I didn’t like him being at odds with Jim but we find out later that yeah, Jim done effed up and he has to pay his due (which is what Harvey had been constantly warning him about since the start of the show).  Plus, we know of Harvey’s immense guilt after the Pyg trap in “A Day in the Narrows”

He’s the embodiment of “Why are you booing me?  I’m right” and it has taken me a thorough watch-through to finally realize it.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

More of Harvey just squirreling away alcohol.  Also more scenes with him interacting with other people outside the GCPD.  Holy shit can you imagine him just running up and just nailing one of the Valeskas in the face?  FOX give us the goods we were robbed

---

[GIVE ME A CHARACTER]

#asked and answered #harvey bullock #Gotham #theimpossiblescheme #gotham fox

[kinetic-elaboration]

July 20: Thoughts on The 100 2x04, Many Happy Returns

It’s literally been five months since I did one of these…

The wasteland was a pretty cool concept and I’m sad that they kinda pulled back on it later. Like, when characters can get from point A below the wasteland to point B above it without apparently passing through it at all, it makes it seem like the area is actually not that big after all. Is it, like, just NYC? And maybe the metro area? Also, again, as usual, floored by the costuming on this show. Amazing.

So Zoran is the first human Jaha meets on Earth. A kid and a mutated human.

Clarke is so intensely pragmatic. She legit doesn’t care if people once tried to kill her, as long as they aren’t trying to kill her now. I don’t really see this as forgiveness, but rather an ability to forget the past that isn’t useful to her. Also lol @Anya for saying Clarke is weak, like who broke who out of the Mountain hmmm?

“Everything is Grounder territory.” Murphy telling the truth. And even if some parts of the world aren’t Grounder territory, how the hell would Bellamy know?

Murphy, canonically a terrible runner. Rewatching these early eps just reinforces his glow up since then. (Not in terms of running, but in terms of, like, haircut.)

The wreckage of the Factory crash is so devastating, following the trail of bodies to the crash site. I still wish we’d found out what happened to everyone else. I guess we’re supposed to assume the rest of the stations exploded before impact? But still. I feel some bitterness.

This saving Mel story is entirely, 100% about keeping Bellamy, Finn, and Murphy stuck for most of an episode, allowing Octavia to find them, and then forcing Bellamy to come back to Camp Jaha rather than continue searching for Clarke—so he can, you know, run into Clarke. It’s pure filler. And imo not even very interesting filler since I’m not really like a rescue/adventure story person. I can’t even figure out how Mel ended up stranded along the side of the cliff. Was she climbing up and then got tired? Also, on a related note, at what point do they, Bellamy in particular, realize which station this is? Is it immediately obvious from the wreckage, or only from the identity of the survivor? Because this is Bellamy’s home.

All that time they were talking, Sterling was there in the background, doing whatever. Honestly though shame on Bellamy a little for letting Finn convince him not to save Mel.

Totally forgot they built an electric fence at Camp Jaha. Then, began work on a radio beacon.

I can’t even pay attention to the Clarke and Anya scenes because I’m too attracted to both of them. Less so in the mud. Which is 100% gratuitous given that uh, I don’t think the Mountain Men who almost never go outdoors and are currently wearing big ass gas masks on their faces can smell shit.

Bellamy and his adventure squad are such dumbasses. Huh, let’s tie this thin rope with a single knot around a stump and then just watch our friend use it to scale the side of a mountain. Nothing can go wrong there. I mean there are fucking four of them just standing around watching when they could be, uh, securing the rope? Anyway RIP Sterling, cause of death: idiocy. (Slash the narrative’s need to put Bellamy in the hero role at this point, and to up the ante on his heroism, and to waste some time.)

To be more fair, I think this is semi-important for Bellamy’s characterization, an early version of ‘save who we can save today.’ He’s at a sort of crossroads at this point, not really a leader anymore like in S1, but sort of a leader, and he needs to figure out what sort of leader he’ll be.

Monroe’s “Sterling was one of us” warms my heart because it speaks to my “the 100 were a distinct social group” theory, which I wish (again lol) had been more important to the show and for longer.

Murphy does fall in, though, pretty fast. After Monroe says the ‘one of us’ thing. Which is actually pretty impressive given that a few days ago he was blasting a hole in the dropship and running away with all their ammunition.

This must be such a trip for Jaha, like, he is aware that forest exists still, because of transmissions from the 100, but he’s in the middle of the fucking desert, and this is all he knows of Earth, whatsoever. Also, again, these sets are perfect, I love them so much.

How did the City of Light become a legend among the Grounders? It’s made from the Alie 1 chips…. Didn’t Becca, like, not like those? I’m assuming of course that literally any of this was ever thought out or ever made sense.

“I have no room for hate.” You know what I’m just gonna say it: I think this is true. This is really how Jaha lives the rest of his life. I think people forget since he wasn’t really himself for most of S3, and even in S2 his mission to the City of Light seemed kind of nutty (and boring). But “I have no room for hate” both describes him pretty well, and is rather a lovely thing about him. If only he hadn’t been so obsessed with the COL, tbh. Searching for it was a bad idea from the very beginning and it was also, I think, a rather cowardly idea.

I forgot that this was where the concept of radiation disfigurement came in and was explained. Is that really how it works? Like random mutations, even generations after the event, from non-mutated parents? Lol I have no idea. That said, Sienna kind of looks like she has some scarring on her face, too.

Here is Jaha finding someone who left her people for her son, whereas he sacrificed his son for his people. Does this also change his mind on things going forward? Connect to his insistence on the COL, at the expense of a chunk of his people?

I miss this thing where characters knew other characters even though we’d never seen them interact before, because, like, a history exists and then the show acknowledges it. That was fun.

I shipped Raven/Wick and I don’t regret it, even though fandom’s toxicity basically killed it for me in a lot of ways. They had a good rapport. More importantly, he might literally be the only man to not take shit from Raven and to actually be brave enough to challenge her.

 Engineering is such a damn good set.

This is a weird episode because our two mains have pretty much the least important, or at least least-interesting, story lines. They’re basically just being moved into position to reunite at the end of the ep, and that’s it.

Clarke: “I just need something sharp and sterile [to remove the tracker from your arm].” Anya: bites it out with her teeth.

Why do they bother putting trackers on the Grounders? Do they escape often?

Murphy’s not only helping with the rescue mission, he’s at the head of the line.

Bellamy’s legs appreciation.

Murphy: “Don’t you worry, Bellamy, I won’t drop you.” I mean…you did once try to hang him. But by-gones I guess. I do believe at heart Murphy just wants to be part of the crew.

I think the Raven and Wick scenes are my favorites of this episode. I have two uninjured legs and I wouldn’t climb that thing; Raven is a brave bitch. And when she has to give up and come down, probably the saddest moment of the ep, along with finding Factory station. Some of this is relevant to my big bang.

 After literally all this, Finn’s still like ‘Bellamy, just drop that rando’ lol. No, bitch, don’t do this half-assed. Stop being a wimp and pull them both up.

Before it’s revealed that the horn is Octavia, this really does look like Bellamy and the No Good Very Bad Day lol: first Factory is found destroyed, then Sterling dies, then you almost die when your fake rope breaks, then someone starts shooting arrows at you, then acid fog rolls in, like, what now universe??

I guess another purpose of this story line, being fair again, is that Murphy and Bellamy are now officially friends again. Like Murphy has proven himself completely trustworthy as of that little nod between them.

“She blew the horn” is s obviously ADR to explain what exactly is happening here. Which is helpful, even though she’s clearly carrying the horn.

Blake sibling reunion!

“Three mechanics made it to the ground.” I mean… you’d think it would be more than that… what with the entirety of Mecha making it. Or was that station mostly casualties? I don’t know, this still doesn’t make sense to me, how they split up people between stations. Season 2 implied it was random, Season 3 implied it was by home station.

“Your leg’s messed up and that blows. Figure out a way to work around it.” Legit question: is there anyone else who would have said that to her?

I really, truly miss Wick tbh. One of the few characters with a sense of humor. (And yet again: he was good for Raven.)

They’re really playing fast and loose with the rules about language in this verse huh? Warriors speak English, no everyone speaks English, no English is for friends only I guess?

Jaha just wants to be a dad. Like, do I think he was a good parent… I dunno. Is he a better parent than anyone else on this show? At this point I would have to say yes. (No, Clarke does not count as a “parent” jfc.)

Ruthless Clarke ftw.

Jaha making a chess board just breaks my heart. Just let him be a dad!!

It’s been such a freaking long time since I watched this, I can’t remember if Octavia had braids in the last ep or not, like how long she’s had them. And it’s really bugging me, because someone else must have put them in, and I’m trying to figure out who that might be.

Also, where did she get the horn? I guess the implication is it was Lincoln’s… I can’t really remember. Wouldn’t it still have been on his person when he was captured?

Octavia went off the rails but at this point I’m still very fond of her.

The map Finn gives Bellamy lists ‘statue’ (Lincoln Memorial?), ‘twin trees’ (???), ‘Ark’ (Alpha Station??), and ‘amusement park’ AND amusement park is very close to Ark so my question is why didn’t they use that amusement park for something interesting??

Bellamy knows he shouldn’t let Finn go off alone but then, what can he do? Finn never really adhered to his authority. And I don’t think he feels like he can flex that right now, like it’s sufficiently established in this new order.

But he does arm Murphy. Which says a lot about how much he has decided to trust him, but also how little he trusts Finn. I forgot about this split in the character groups, though I should have remembered it, since of course this leads directly to the massacre.

“Parting, such sweet sorrow, right?” is an interesting quote from a kid who can’t spell ‘die.’

Aw, Clarke goes back to the dropship. I forgot about that. But then of course she doesn’t realize… anything. She doesn’t know the Ark is down, she doesn’t know what happened to the few of her friends who were on the outside. And her face when she sees the message to her, and only her name is still visible…

Blah blah blah fight sequence.

Creepy skeleton parts on the ground.

 I think this could have been the start of an Anya/Clarke friendship of some sort: Clarke earns her respect by fighting well, Clarke’s people protect Anya, the alliance forms… too bad they had to kill her.

And Clarke figures out where Alpha is based on Raven and Wick’s balloon.

“We fell from Earth in a football stadium. I think they already know we’re here.”

BUT the balloon is also what sets off Byrne, and gets her so worried about Grounders she authorizes the ‘shoot on sight’ command that kills Anya and almost Clarke. On the one hand, this is a nicely wrought story line. On the other hand, they shouldn’t have killed Anya, so. A wash.

Was Byrne’s worry about the balloon warranted though? I can’t decide.

Zoran, such a kind soul.

How can there possibly be a bounty on Sky People (side note: Jaha’s reaction to that name like ‘huh well I guess that is what we are’) that people all the way out in the dead zone would know about? Like… they’ve been on Earth for like a month. And the war has only been going on for part of that time, arguably. If it even is a war.

Trent Lane voice: Betrayal, yeah, stab in the back, betrayal…

Too bad “To survive, we do what we must” didn’t end up in like the fandom lexicon. It’s a pretty good variant on the theme. Plus Jaha’s just so… like he’s been fucked over but he can’t even be mad, because he gets that she’s doing it for her son and he wishes he had that chance. Watching his scenes again, I really feel like he was underrated and I miss him a lot.

I wonder what happened to Zoran and family. Were they absorbed into the hive? More generally, what happened to people seeking the CoL before ALIE could get it properly running with Jaha’s help? Did they all just… die in the desert?

Alpha Station at night is so beautiful.

And Clarke is so happy.

And this is SUCH A SETUP FOR CLARKE AND ANYA TO BE FRIENDS OMG, Anya should have brokered peace with Lexa, there was such an obvious role for her… Her death was 100% random attempt at shock, this show’s #1 worst quality, which is saying a lot.

I mean shot in the back while she’s walking away these Sky Guards are incompetent.

RIP Anya.

I really thought the Bellarke reunion was in this ep for some reason. But then I also knew Anya died right at the end—for more Shock Value ofc—so I don’t even know. I remember the scenes but nothing of their order I guess.

#the year 2019 #2019: the 100 s2 #the 100 #the 100 rewatch #2019: fandom thoughts

[tiny-steve]

unsorted bullet points abt stranger things 3

i mean first of, i was gonna give the first episode a shot and here i am, 2 days later, having binged the entire thing despite not even really liking it? so they’re doing something right i guess

(fun story:  when i started the season i was like “whoa they are REALLY milking the fan nostalgia there with that throwback to the start of season one” for a good 5 minutes before i realized i had accidentally started season 1 instead of season 3)

i’m feeling quite meh about it though. last season at least attempted to expand on the universe and mix up the old character constellation, this season didn’t give us anything new. yes, we all loved the steve & dusty thing last season, you know why? because it was surprising! to reprise the exact same thing is sorta beside the point

but god i am glad the children are starting to look like teenagers, and i’m actually starting to believe the el/mike thing? that being said, for how long can you milk a teenage breakup based on a miscommunication? not for eight episodes, that’s for sure. but bless u for trying

they were on SUCH a good course with the will storyline there for a moment? gay teenage character clinging to childhood because he knows things will get Complicated when he has to finally confront adult things? i’d kill for him. but never mind, we’re just gonna... leave that there. no follow-up, no coming out, no narrative arc. that’s one way to do it i guess?

“it’s not my fault you don’t like girls!” like OOF!!! only straights would write a line like that and then just... not do anything with it

in general i got the feeling that they’re just really in love with mike and dusty and don’t really know what to do with lucas and will... but i guess we gotta respect the white straight nerd Own Voices here or something

that being said, lesbian reveal? huh i guess... i would have liked it better if i had gotten literally ANY hint in that direction before she came out. like, give us something to work with here, duffers. let steve be the clueless straight idiot he was always meant to be. maybe let robin BE a lesbian instead of just having her say it? maybe let her talk to a girl her own age just... once?

speaking of girl interaction: i really got my hopes up there in the first half of the season about el finally getting something to do other than crying, screaming and looking at things intensely, but i guess that all went out of the window with ep 5-8. better than what they did with her in s2 though, i guess

anyways

HOPPER. that shirt was about the only expansion of universe that i was actually here for. like, galaxy brains expansion. what a LOOK

other things about his storyline.... not my favorite.

listen, when they killed andreji for shock value i was literally begging them to just off a non-disposable established character for a change. like, make some REAL decisions, boys. then the hopper thing happenend and i was like, fair, i guess i asked for it, would’ve preferred it to be joyce (so she doesn’t have to bury ANOTHER love interest) but i’ll take it. and then they dropped that fucking “american” line in the post credit scene and i’m just.... dudes. COMMIT. i’m fucking begging you. is this the mcu or what

terminator dude? meh. they could have done more with that. could have done with a metal arm 

the monster? gross but not scary

billy? gross but not scary

idk this has turned out pretty complainy, i guess i’m just annoyed that they’re gonna churn out a fourth season and i’m gonna watch it and it’s gonna be the same old shtick all over again when the first season was SO GOOD and they could’ve just ended it there!!

anyways here’s my s4 wishlist:

more monster-inspired interior decorating by joyce byers (stick to your brand, bros!)

for hopper to come back brainwashed with a metal arm

will finally getting a) a story arc worth mentioning and b) a boyfriend

that’s it, that’s all i need to be happy

#stranger things #stranger things spoilers #under the cut

[koganphrancis]

WE ARE FINALLY, TRULY CAMLESS!

Season 9 Episode 6 Recap

First and foremost, I want to single out Noel Fisher for being a truly class act and returning to this demon show to give fans what happiness he could-the ONLY happiness a lot of fans have found here, myself included, in a very long time.

Next a serious piece of appreciation to Cameron Monaghan.  I know he worked hard on what little they gave him to do in the past few years, and I’m thankful he had Gotham to work on to actually use his talent while mired down in the stinky swamp this show has become.  In another actor’s hands, I don’t know that Gallavich would’ve been as captivating as it was-without Noel I know it wouldn’t have been, but Cam does deserve credit for bringing the other half of the couple to life-when they were on screen together, they had an undeniable magic happening.

Finally to any of the “fans” that are thinking or posting that we got this actually pretty shitty prison endgame because people pestered the show producers, writers, and actors too much to “bring Mickey back” may I please direct you to watch the early episode (I believe it was in Season 1, but certainly no later than S2) where Lip tells Ian prison must be a gay man’s dream with all the tattoos and unlimited sex partners.  THAT is John Wells’ perception of gay men and it has been since long before he even thought of breaking Ian and Mickey up, let alone bringing Mickey back.  

Personally I’m supremely disappointed this gay couple, like so many others, did not get a free and truly happy ending in canon, even though my friends know I predicted this could very well be all we got in the end.  FFS it’s the year twenty gayteen-couldn’t ONE iconic gay couple be given a nice, normal happy ending?  John Wells is a fucking dinosaur.  He needs to go to a sensitivity training camp run by Dan Levy, Emily Andras, and Ryan Murphy.  

Anyway-my last recap (baring a miracle) of this shit show is under the cut

(screen cap credit: justmikhailothings)

This episode was brought to us by White Castle.  I’d like to think they gave every dime they got from them to pay Noel, but I’m sure it went to the other “big name” guest stars.

Also the show was (disappointingly) written by Nancy “Ratfucker” Pimental, so you know it’s gonna be bad.

The show begins with Ian putting his stuff away up in the attic and claiming he wants to eat a shitload of White Castle.  Sure, whatever.  Everyone is trying to offer ideas of what they should all do on his last day of freedom, but suddenly THIS Ian is talking and making decisions for himself.  WHERE HAS HE BEEN THE PAST 4 SEASONS?  He only appears when Mickey’s about...

Debbie offers to bring him to a gay bar to “get laid” (flashing back to Monica in S3, ugh-it was a bad idea then, it’s a bad idea now), Ian says, “Pretty sure I’ll get laid a lot in prison.”  He says it with a grim expression, but considering how they end the show/who his cellmate is, he should be so lucky.  

Frank pretty much ignores Ian in the scene, and they certainly don’t interact.  Frank recommends Ian should read James Joyce’s Ulysses in prison, but other than the fact that it’s by an Irish writer and it’s extremely long and dense to get through (aka it’ll take Ian some time to do it), I don’t know if there’s any significance to his suggesting it.  

This scene with just a throwaway send off from Macy seems to be in line with John Wells’ vision to have the series fade away with the characters going about their daily lives rather than end, but I really think both Cam and WHM were screwed out of not having a final scene together with just the two of them.  Their comedy timing was always the best out of Macy and all the Gallagher kids.  The lack of respect is just astounding-especially since the show wasted so much time on rando actors/characters we’re never going to see again.

The rest of Frank’s story this week takes place with Liam in tow again and it’s just dumb and boring.

The next scene shows Fiona and Bored looking at an apartment-they’re going to move in together (why?  And when was this decided?  Not that I care, but they could’ve cut a scene of them bickering to show a scene where they arrived at a decision together for once).  It makes absolutely no sense-they have Fiona’s whole place to themselves, why waste $3000 a month living in some other apartment all to themselves?  Just because it has two bathrooms?  Do they shit that much?

And then, ooh, bad news for Fiona-her business partners require her to kick in another 25 grand or their investment will be dead in the water.  I still don’t know how she went from having $50K to invest to $100K, so this new twist is just more bullshit that I can’t care about.  

Then there’s a scene where we have to see Carl’s new girlfriend’s head in Ian’s lap.  WTF.  We need to see Mickey’s head there-or better yet, Ian using Mickey’s perfect thighs as a pillow.  

There’s a couple of boring, unfunny bits of the nun and then the priest (is it supposed to be hilarious that the dad from Full House is spewing out sex scenario names Nancy must’ve googled?) from Kev and Vee’s kids’ preschool with a dildo.  Seriously, Nance, not even close to funny, probably time to put yourself out to pasture, old girl.  This show has used dildos as a sight gag so many times at this point there’s just nothing more to do with them except maybe shove them up the writers’ asses.

Lip’s storyline this week is something out of very, very bad fan fiction: A movie star comes to their house!  Cuz, that happens, okay?  I’m sure studios and billion dollar make up companies don’t run any kind of background check on people they hire to babysit their clients-why would they?  It’s not like a crazed fan would rape/maim/kill the object of their obsession or anything.  ANYONE can be a star minder for one day, surely.  

BORING ALERT: Lip has a couple more running scenes this week, because no one got enough of that last episode.  This week the least they could’ve done was play the Friends theme song over the endless footage where he’s chasing Courtney Cox around on location in Chicago.  

While watching, I was wondering if Courtney’s role was written for her or they just settled for her when Roseanne Barr was suddenly unavailable-the stuff they had her say and do (except for the sprinting) seemed like it was written for a more jaded motherly type-but I’m jumping ahead.  Since we DID get CC, here’s a couple of stray observations.  1. She looks like a rich man’s Emmy Rossum, and 2. was part of the purpose of her storyline to throw shade at Jennifer Aniston?  Her character is named Jen Wagner, and there’s this whole dumb thing where Nancy’s trying to make, “Face it, you’re gorgeous” happen as her make up commercials’ tag line-which was reminiscent of Aniston’s ads for L’Oreal that stated “I’m/you’re worth it”.  

Meanwhile, after Fi gets the devastating news that she needs to come up with more money she tries to get out of taking the new apartment with Bored by lying to him and telling him she smelled mold there-HE RESTORES OLD HOUSES/BUILDINGS FOR A LIVING why does Nancy think that was a clever lie for Fiona to come up with?  How stupid is Fi supposed to be?

Back at the Gallaghers, Ian is practicing self defense moves with Carl and Kelly to prevent someone from raping him at knife point.  Everyone’s flipping each other in these scenes and it just felt like they wanted to give their stunt coordinator (and Cam’s double) a lot of (boring) shit to do this week...Ian’s final scenes being played out with this meaningless newbie (who Carl will probably wind up killing or dumping or both) made me very sad.  I guess maybe it was to build dramatic tension for when Ian’s in his cell later and the door slides open before he turns around.  But it’s lame because the scenes play like he’s JUST realizing prison’s rapey.  

Someone knocks at the door-my heart started racing but it wasn’t Mickey.  A guy who wasn’t in the jail scenes tells Ian Joselito sent him.  Ian starts asking him about the guys he was in county lock up with-WHO CARES.  The guy tells him the couple he’s asking about broke up when one of them got out and Nancy throws in a line about long distance relationships not working.  Joselito sent this Antonio guy to give Ian an “in-depth safety orientation about Beckman Correctional” before they send him up.   

Antonio draws Ian a map of the facility and tells him the areas to avoid, then draws a big circle with Mickey Mouse ears on it and tells him that’s “Disneyland” and he can get all good things there-smooth blowies, weed, Snickers...I’m sure ol’ Nancy thought she was being clever, but it just took me out of the scene hearing Antonio say “Disney” at least three times-reminded me of Cam’s publicity stunt “coming out date” there last year.  

Fi comes in and asks if anyone has any money (shades of S4 when Ian gave her his Fairy Tail tips) and that she needs 25 grand.  She’s so stupid.  And she’s honestly that out of touch with the family that she thinks maybe one of them has thousands of dollars they could give her?  (although, if she had only gotten to Lip before he tried to buy Xan...)

Fiona tells Ian, “Don’t forget, I’m driving you to prison tomorrow.”  And that’s the last time they see each other.  So much for family, eh, Nance?

A huge time waster of a scene where Kev and Vee pack up all their sex toys and then another drawn out scene of them throwing the stuff off a bridge happen.  Seriously, these are Cameron’s final moments on this shit show-they couldn’t think of anything for him to do?  This was all screen time Cam and Noel could have had, SHOULD have had!

I have to recap this next bit because it was beyond belief unrealistic-Frank steals a bicycle and goes following Katey Sagal and her ex-husband when they leave the hospital in an Audi-and Frank manages to keep up with them all the way to their nice neighborhood that must be some distance away since it was daylight when they left and dark when they get to their door.  Frank.  On a bicycle.  Kept up.  YOU’RE SUCH A DUMB FUCK, NANCY.

Then there’s more White Castle with the money shot of the food and packaging all over the Gallagher kitchen table.  Courtney gets to make a bulimia joke Nancy wrote into the scene.  Hope you weren’t looking for a Guest Starring Emmy, CC.  

Ian tells a “Carl story” about him puncturing his scrotum (on purpose) with a screwdriver when he was a kid.  Carl must have the most mangled dick and scrotum on the planet between his several botched circumcisions and now this.  Kelly asks him if that’s why he has “that scar”.  You know what, Nance?  While some people do in fact find scars sexy, self inflicted ones on scrotums don’t make that list.  

Debbie comes in, recognizes “the chick from the make up ads” having dinner with them.  I’m sorry-having WHITE CASTLE with them.  Now everyone else sees it too, and Kelly insists that CC says “the” line that Nancy made up to make happen-why do they keep trying to make meaningless things A Thing?  

After dinner, Jen is giving Ian advice about prison: “Find a hobby, it makes time go so much faster.”  Ian asks, “Did you learn that from one of your movies?” and she says she did 48 hours for DUI (hey, just like Ethan, Nancy!).  Jen really needed to get into making TP paper mache to get through 2 days?  

Debbie, desperate to make shit about her says, “Maybe I should go to prison too.  It seems like the only way I’ll find a real relationship.”  WHY are they acting like Ian’s going away on a single’s cruise?

Jen says to Debs that’s not true and Debbie says it is, that she’s unlucky in love (when the fuck has she ever been “in love”?)...”men, women...”  

Jen tells her she’s a special woman (how the fuck does she know?) and that she doesn’t want just anyone, she wants somebody “who gets you” and then for the second time in two weeks an older woman, without determining if Debbie is of age, pulls her into a kiss and the others (Ian, Lip, Carl, Kelly) stare like, “WTF?”  The kiss ends and Debbie looks all amazed like she did after the Mel kiss, but then Jen looks at everyone and says, “I played a lesbian once in a movie.”  And that’s what your research into that role led you to believe lesbians do?  Kiss random teens when they’re whining?  Lip starts the “Face it” line and everyone else chips in with “you’re gorgeous” and everyone laughs and I don’t get why it’s funny or even why it’s supposed to be funny.  Seemed like they were trying to drive home the point that ACTORS only PLAY gay characters, but no matter how convincing they seem, they are in reality the much more “preferable” heterosexuals we can feel safe with and really want them to be.  Fuck you, Shameless.

Also, Courtney/Jen is three times older than Debbie-CC is 54 irl and Debs is forever 17 now, so more Kash vibes for anyone who was missing those.  Also perpetuates the writer room’s fantasy that hot young actors would find middle and past middle age folks suitable sex partners.

Fi goes to Patsy’s Pies and there’s another hysterically lame scene where she opens the office safe and is counting out money-I don’t know how much a place like Patsy’s rakes in (or keeps in their safe) but I would think it would take a long time to accumulate 25K in CASH in this day and age of debit and credit cards.  She abandons that bad idea and winds up going down to the docks and drinking with a Patsy’s employee and reciting all her “mo money” problems while he counters with the facts that his car’s been repossessed and that he and his moms are being evicted from the projects.  Then the guy kisses drunk Fi but she tells him she has a boyfriend and that she has to apologize for lying to him (although, really, the underlying implication is she has to apologizing for never seeing that he’s always right about her being a dumb woman who has no head for business decisions).  

Lip and Ian have their last one on one scene.  After the movie star mom for a day leaves, Ian’s fake smoking on the front steps and Lip joins him.  Lip gives him money for his commissary account and Ian says, “I’ll pay you back,” (but not thank you) and Lip says, “No you won’t,” and I’m at home saying, “Lip, why are you being such a dick?”  Ian goes to hand him the lit cigarette, but pulls it away when Lip reaches for it, but then gives it to him and rubs his shoulder.  I guess this is supposed to signal to us that they’ve said everything that’s needed to be said?  Except we’ve been watching and we know Lip is supposed to be a mouthy motherfucker and in the old days they would’ve had actual conversations that they DID NOT have at all-all their conversations this season have been short and awkward.  Ian’s been made into a fucking mute now, even in these final moments.

Their last scene should’ve been in their room, in their beds-Ian can’t sleep and they talk things out in the dark like the brothers they used to be, but no.  Can’t have that.  

The Fiona drama finding out Bored has a wife, kid, and house and then drunkenly smashing up her leased vehicle is so “bad soap opera” I can’t believe this show is still on the air.  If we were supposed to cry for Fiona as her make up  and fake blood ran down her face after her millionth time of being let down by a guy everyone else could see was an ass from the start-well, we just didn’t.  

Next day the Gallaghers are waiting in the living room for Fiona to take Ian to prison.  Kev steps up to drive them all in his truck.

They get there, get out, and Ian looks around, then says to his family, “All right.  I thought Geneva and some of the others would be here but...”  Thank christ they weren’t!!!  The show/Ian wasted too much time on those randos as it was.  However, credit where credit is due-the show got us all the way through this swan song arc without bringing up Terror once!  But I digress, back to our scene.  Carl says, “You can only count on family, dude.”  I scream BULLSHIT at my TV screen.  

Debbie says, “I’m gonna miss you.” 

Group hug.  Kev says, “Don’t get too raped in there, aight?”  Everybody breaks apart, the moment ruined.  Kev says he doesn’t know what to say in these situations (and clearly no one can improvise but Noel).  Vee says, “How about goodbye and I love you?”  

Kev says, “Goodbye, man. I love you.”  

Ian says, “I love you guys too.”  Wasting it on the wrong fucking people!  All of them-except Kev and Vee who never voiced an opinion-didn’t care if went to prison!  

Ian looks at Lip, walks over to him.  “Hey, uh, thanks for being my brother.”

Lip, still a dick, says, “Never had a choice.”  That’s right, bitch-you didn’t get to choose to play the interesting gay brother, you got cast as the dick know-it-all who never cared about anyone but himself.  

During this entire farewell scene I was sitting at home, strangely unmoved.  I felt nothing watching it, probably because everyone was such an asshole about Ian going to prison all season, plus never caring about what he was doing all last season, plus the fact that none of these characters are the characters we first got to know.  It hasn’t been a case of character growth and development, it’s been character assassination and retconning.  

Ian breaks the hug.  “All right.  See you guys.”  He goes to the gate, shows his papers, gets let in through the gate, waves to his family as he walks past the fence, walks into the prison, slaps his phone (wouldn’t he just give that to Lip to hold on to?  Battery’s gonna be dead by the time he gets out) and watch (probably ditto on the watch battery) onto a counter, strips down so we see one last quick shot of his naked ass (what, no cavity search?  And just how long has it been since we’ve seen his unclothed ass anyway?), and a glimpse of the boob tattoo.  

Next we see him in his yellow “I Love You, Philip Morris” jumpsuit, carrying his bedding through the GP.  He’s attracting “fresh meat” attention and Cam actually does a really good job of looking a bit scared while trying to look tough and “don’t fuck with me”-there’s a vulnerability there, but he’s not overplaying it, and he’s certainly not overplaying the fronting.  His acting was really powerful in that scene.  

They put him in his cell and slam the door and he winces a little at the sound, then he sadly looks at his 6X8 foot (or whatever the dimensions are) room, puts his bedding pile on the top bunk and leaves his hands up there and lets his head hang down.  He hears the door slide open behind him again and gets this, “Ugh, here we go,” expression on his face and turns around to see it’s Mickey standing there.

Me at home: Not what I wanted for end game but I’m still thrilled to see the man, the myth, the legend again anyway.  He’s all beefy still from when he was shooting Fonzo and looking good.  

Ian’s looking at him like he’s not sure he’s really there.

Mickey mildly says, “I rolled on the cartel I was working for and in exchange guess who gets to pick where he gets locked up?”  

Ian’s got tears in his eyes now and says, “Holy fuck.”

“Oh hey-I got bottom,” Mickey says as he points to the lower bunk.  Then he walks past Ian and says, “So...you’re on top,” in a bit of a sing-songy voice. 

He flops down onto the bunk, puts his hand behind his head-and check out the gifs closely, especially on Twitter-in the jumpsuit you can see the outline of his dick and it “twitches in interest” as the fan fics say (don’t know if Noel did it by adjusting his thigh, don’t know if it was intentional or what-but it was a sight to see whatever the case).  He does a lip lick/bite combination, Ian’s face lights up a bit and he gives a smile, he crawls onto the bunk on top of Mickey, pinning his hand down while Mickey smiles softly, they gaze at each other a beat, Ian gently strokes Mickey’s cheek, Mickey wraps his free hand behind Ian’s neck, their noses boop, and Ian sort of gently thrusts into a kiss (it was good-definitely had a bit of a sexual vibe to it), which Mickey expertly returns.  It was a very good kiss, tender and loving, but that scene needed words, needed Ian to say SOMETHING to Mickey-needed an “I’m sorry” and a “thank you for always being here for me” and exchanged I love yous.  Neither of these boys are ever told they’re loved!  JFC, nine seasons and the show couldn’t manage to work mutual ILYs in ONCE?  Fuck you, Shameless.  They didn’t even say each other’s NAMES!  

Mickey (and Noel) looked so fucking good lying there-relaxed and happy, finally back with his love where he’s always belonged.  Even when his eyes are closed, they’re perfect.  The angle the scene was shot at, we see more of Mickey’s microexpressions than Ian’s.  

An after the credits began scene of them lying in an afterglow embrace would’ve been nice.  Mickey could’ve mocked Ian’s hair (give us one last “Fire Crotch” you cowards!) and boob tattoo (or offered to fix that for him while they’re in the joint).  

Mickey’s got new ink on his forearm we never see clearly.  Until and unless we’re told otherwise, I’m saying it’s a big ginger root ;)  Bam.  

On a personal note, and not to rain on anybody’s parade, while I believe 100% in Drunk Crew Guy and what he said, I really don’t see us getting another scene in the finale.  This show’s attention span is down to nothing now, and I can’t see them dragging these guys back out now that they’ve given us (shitty) endgame. I don’t think enough time will have passed to let them out of prison by then, I think those final episodes are going to be about Fiona leaving and not Ian and Mickey getting to Mexico-and I can’t really see Mickey being able to go back there now that he’s crossed a cartel.  My feeling is the show filmed 2 possible endings using Noel to choose from-one ending with them in Mexico and the other being the one we got.  They probably ripped off The Shawshank Redemption too much with a Mexico ending and decided to go with this “original” idea instead.  I’d love nothing more than to be wrong, and to get one more scene of these two free and happy.  Cam’s question mark at the end of his farewell post and the fact that I do trust everything DCG said leaves a spark of hope burning in my heart, but hopefully I can back away from endless online speculation and theories about it over the next 5 months.  If it happens, beautiful.  If it doesn’t, at least we got one last look at Mickey and he’s getting dicked down and the love he’s always deserved, even if I hate the fact they’re locked up and will be in danger whenever they’re not in their cell-not to mention this is the shitty way gay love stories get handled in general, but I must not go down that path again in this recap.  

I want to add that Mickey didn’t sound all that “Mickey” in his scene, but maybe he didn’t need his swagger and was being more “real” to let Ian know he had a choice (as always, Mickey didn’t force himself on Ian-he let him come to him).  And kudos to Cam for not doing his hideous Chicago accent for most of the episode.  

There WAS love and chemistry in that final scene.  Just sucks that we don’t get it anywhere else in the show and they wasted so much time last night that could’ve been given to Cameron and Noel.  

But hey, I’m finally free of recapping ;)  While I’m sorry the Gallavich parts are now over, I’m not sorry I can finally quit missing what we used to get while watching what the show now does.  Mickey and Ian are back together now, so, fuck you, Shameless.  

#Recap #Ian's final episode #Season Nein #Nobody wants it #Queue #Hopefully I'll be sound asleep when the episode ends

[electricbluebutterflies]

Kabby + “I trust you, do you trust me?” pretty pretty please?

Post-s2 because... what else could this possibly be but misadventures in recovery. Content warning for slight discussion of Marcus having self-destructive // suicidal tendencies. PG-ish and also on ao3.

The month after all hell breaks loose - before she becomes too jaded to apply that phrase to anything up to and including the actual end of the world - is strange for Abby. She’s unstable, sleeps for three days - in her defense, it did not feel like three days - and is functionally an invalid for a week beyond that. In chaos, no leadership is necessary, and whatever role she holds in this latest shifting is simply on hold.

Or, more likely, her hesitant partner has decided to do more than his share to compensate. Yeah, that explanation is much more likely.

They are thankfully past the phase where she needs help with bandages, the awkwardness of hands in places she realizes at an unfortunate time that she doesn’t actually mind them, but check-ins are useful. Keeps her connected, keeps her aware of updates - or the lack thereof - regarding her daughter. Gives her solid human interaction, something she never thought she could miss so much, and-

Kane looks like hell. In a different life, or perhaps just a month ago, his current physical condition would make her a dark sort of happy. As it is, it’s damningly apparent that while she’s spent the past week and a half recovering from her recent injuries, he’s dealt with his by ignoring them and carrying on like everything is normal.

God, if he keeps this up much longer, he’ll have a permanently fucked-up leg at best. It’s one thing for the kids to act like they’re bulletproof - some of ‘em just might be - but at their age...

“Sit,” Abby orders, motioning to the space beside her on her mattress. She wants him close, she decides. Always been easier to yell at him when she’s able to talk with her hands and accidentally hit him at just the right moment.

“I don’t have-”

“Whatever you’re about to say, don’t,” she growls. She knows where this goes if she doesn’t derail it as quickly as possible, and she is not in the mood. “You have time. And taking up space next to me will not kill you.”

He complies, which in itself is strange, and reaches for her hand on some sort of instinct. She allows the contact, the feeling of his calluses that she wants to become some kind of familiar, and for a moment she feels like she is someone else entirely. Some other woman, one with softer feelings for the person beside her, one who isn’t about to turn her co-leader into a chewtoy over his lack of self-preservation skills.

“When was the last time you slept more than four hours?”

He looks away. It’s enough of an answer.

“We’re not young anymore, Marcus.” His first name feels foreign on her tongue yet right somehow, a compromise and a shifting that is almost overdue. “You can’t just go on convinced that everything will be fine. You had a building collapse on you, remember? Not to mention-”

“I deserved it.”

And another familiar animal rears its head, Abby can’t help but think. The self-loathing side of him, the self-destructive traits he’s spent decades learning to bury under layers of ice and fidelity to rules he never fully believed in, is something few people know about. She knows because of a night five years ago, a storage compartment and a bottle of moonshine and an improvised knife. The less she remembers about that night the better, but she knows what she saw and what she stopped and-

“Even at your worst, you didn’t deserve that.” She squeezes his hand, not sure how else to comfort him. “I trust you. Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” he breathes, like something new and hopeful and terrifying. Well that makes two of them.

“Go back to wherever the hell you’re sleeping this week and rest. I can move around decently enough, I can be on point for whatever for two days. It’ll be better for everyone if you take care of yourself now instead of-”

“I can’t-”

“You know I’m more stubborn than you,” she laughs. “Not by much, but enough...”

“And what if something goes catastrophically wrong?”

“I think we’ve blown through our catastrophe budget for the month. Worst case scenario... I’ll find you. But I think we’ll be fine for a couple days.”

“But you’re not-”

“I am not going to be running laps around the camp, Marcus. But I am more than capable of sitting down somewhere, reading reports, and giving instructions to whomever gets to actually do things. We have the makings of a structure here, and you are not... you are irreplaceable, but... long-term. Things can function without you until you can function. Is that enough?”

“I hate when you’re right.”

“At least you’re admitting it.”

Something shifts in the air, and he turns to face her. “I know you just said, but... anything you need?”

“Tell whatever lieutenants you have that I’m back in my previous role as of tomorrow. I think that’s it.”

Someday, Abby thinks as she watches him leave, someday that man is going to be okay. But until he is, he’s got her. In what form, well... she’ll figure that out later.

#mariapurt #kabby #ebf writes fic

[janiedean]

Anyone who think Kit is a good actor is an idiot. And there's so many of them. That's why the world is getting worse and will be dominated by robots 🤖

oddmy dearest @the-bitter-gremlin hopefully you’ll get the tag because I really wanna make sure you see this reply :’DDDDDD

now, point the first: thanks for calling me an idiot! :D I mean, okay, not that grades mean anything of course but given that I went as far as graduating HS in the top five of my class, that I have two degrees one of which with the highest possible vote in a field that’s technically not too easy and that it’s even certified that I speak at least one language at native-tongue level and I can get by in two others other than mine I think my brain is fine enough, thank you.

I also watched more movies than the average person (no, I did, really, I considered studying cinema instead of going to proper uni for real), my top ten favorite movies is all stuff made before the nineties except for one and all my favorite actors are Certified Good Actors Like For Real and I got called a snob for my movie/actor taste more times than I can count. the only reason I’m doing this long-ass preamble is to inform you that if someone can’t act, I can recognize it and I have absolutely no problem admitting it even if it’s someone I like as a person or whose work I enjoy. for one, I can 100% admit that my favorite italian actor when he was nine back then was pretty atrocious (he got better admittedly but I haven’t followed him in a while, so who cares), and I still enjoyed his movies anyway even if he was terrible and I even knew it, but hey, he was hot, so who cares, right? and I enjoyed a fair amount of horribly acted italian fiction because it was fun, so really, I don’t have anything to lose here.

this was all a long preamble to tell you that yes, my favorite actor is marlon brando not the first idiot passing off the street, and yes, kit is actually good at what he does and no, people are not idiots for thinking that.

now, never mind that idek if you saw him in anything that’s not GOT, but the only movie of his I’ve seen where he was really meh was the spy movie and that was because the entire plot sucked ass and the character was terrible but everything was terrible. for the rest, he certainly pulled a better american accent than half of the british actors I’ve heard (it was brimstone by the way, excellent movie, watch it), he can do comedy (watch seven days in hell :D) and ah, yeah, he’s just making a movie/finishing a movie with xavier dolan who’s like… not someone known for picking bad actors. also, uuuh, he went to school for that actually, but not just anywhere -

ah, wow, HE WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOL WHERE LAURENCE OLIVIER, VANESSA REDGRAVE AND JUDI DENCH WENT but okay, sure, they’d totally take someone talentless according to them? and actually:

In the 2008 Research Assessment Exercise the majority of Central’s submission was judged “world leading” or “internationally excellent”. The school has been ranked highly by The Guardian, placing it sixth in its league table of specialist institutions[9]and ninth for Drama and Dance.

LOOK AT THAT, TOP-NOTCH SCHOOL.

now, what is that british acting schools prepare people for? theater.

which means that he’s a theater actor first and foremost, which shows in his damned acting because if you notice he does half of it with his voice, but I guess you were too busy thinking he’s too good-looking to act, right?

except that not counting theater stuff, GOT was the first job he had *and* his first job on tv, which means that of course he wasn’t as good as the others in the beginning, because a) acting for the theater and for tv aren’t the same, b) it was his first job and not everyone is named leonardo dicaprio and can act their way out of a what’s eating gilbert grape at seventeen.

thing is: while at least one of his co-stars hasn’t improved in the role they have (imo but it’s also the writing) and most of the others GOT actors are either seasoned professionals or had acted for the camera before and had less issues adapting to it, he actually got better, and he actually acted a lot better when he was feeding off other people. case in turn:

that’s jon and jaime in s1. admittedly, not kit’s best effort unless you interpret it as jon being so lovestruck by jaime being around him that he’s like 404 page not found, and he had one scene with NCW from then until S7, and they didn’t even interact. NCW is miles better than he is here, obviously, but like, NCW has been in the job since the early 90s and I assure you his first danish movie isn’t his best acting effort either even if it’s not bad. BUT, let’s go to another S1 scene:

jon and sam discuss sex, yey! here he’s with a guy - john bradely - who’s probably (at this point) better than him at reciting on screen, but with whom he’s had a lot more scenes and that is playing his best friend and with whom he presumably hung out a lot and with whom he’s had a lot of time to work with. and even if it’s still S1, if you look at it it’s miles better - he does a lot more of microexpressions, he never looks at the camera (first sign of bad acting btw, he didn’t do it in the previous scene either but there he looked starstruck all the time, here he doesn’t) and like, you can already see that there’s a vast difference in between the two. and it’s the same season, five episodes apart - supposedly they also filmed it later and he’s already more at ease with it. 

now, small pause to remind you that at this point jon doesn’t have too much extra baggage BUT that kit actually read the damned book and you can see it because he makes very precise choices ie in the book after jon burns his hand he flexes the fingers of the hurt one every time he’s nervous or he’s about to lie or something, and he does the exact same thing (link here btw), and fyi, with the exception of partially alfie and gwen, no one in the cast actually went as far as that so HAHAHAHAHA WOW SUCH BAD ACTING, INNIT? anyway, that was season one. I’ll spare you and myself S2/¾ also because if I link you the jon/ygritte scenes I’ll shoot myself in the head. instead, let’s go to season five and 5x02, as in the season where I literally would have quit the fucking show if it wasn’t for jon’s storyline.

if you look at this, he doesn’t even say a fucking word until the ending, and you can see exactly what he’s thinking just looking at his damned face, because if you pay even the slightest bit of attention you notice that he changes expression minutely with every damned word sam and thorne say, you can see his eye movements, then he goes from complete sour to sad to angry to surprised to delighted to worried to happy again in the span of four minutes without even talking once and it’s miles better than anything he did in S1. 

or you could also rewatch the scene where he punches ramsay in S6 where he does a lot of microexpressions that speak for him without even talking, again, in an episode where he did all the stunts on his own same as the rest of the show, and that’s really not little given all the work it goes into being, uh, the main character, who also happens to have to be a seasoned fighter and use swords and so on. (I can’t link but I think I exhausted my limit for linking videos on tumblr so whatever *SHRUG*)

guess what: HE IMPROVED. GREATLY. IT SHOWS. learn to watch the damned thing, it doesn’t take going beyond GOT to realize it. and now, two last things I have to say to you before I finish this because I honestly wasted too much time on you already.

one: he might not be the best actor around - fair enough -, but kit’s definitely good imo. not passable, not decent, not average - he’s good. and he’s learning and he’s improved tremendously in the last eight years and it shows, and he put enough effort into this role to a) read the canon, b) incorporate the canon into it, c) actually changing scenes so that they fit canon more, d) do all his own stunts, e) carry 60% of this whole damned liver-destroying show on his shoulders since at least S5 in which his sl was the only saving grace of the entire thing and he executed it perfectly, so kindly fuck off and don’t go to people calling them idiots because they think an actor is good.

(ps: I

two: going into people’s askboxes and calling them idiots because they enjoy something and insulting what they enjoy is a) rude, b) uncalled for, c) an asshole move.

next time let me/us/whoever enjoy this guys’ acting in peace and keep your fucking opinion to yourself, because honest, if I could spend twenty years out of almost thirty of my life keeping my mouth shout about how much I hate HP to a) my rl friends, b) my internet friends and I could keep myself from informing them that I think it’s really bad under their posts or in their inbox or to their face because I’d be an asshole if I decided to shit on what they like, then you can pay me the same favor (or about anyone else) and not go around dissing stuff people like to their faces when they said openly they like them.

sayonara and call me when you get an emmy nomination :’)

#kit harington #tagging bc I have a feeling it might be relevant #dskljgklsdg #ch: jon snow #game of thrones cast #is2g y'all were raised not even by wolves #wolves would be more polite #like shut the hell up man #REALLY shut the hell up #@ anyone else: IF YOU DON'T LIKE KIT FINE FOR YOU I DON'T CARE I DON'T NEED TO KNOW #thanks very much #blergh #extra wank for ts #the-bitter-gremlin #ask post

[kihocrystal]

Spring 2018 - Final Impressions

Sorry this post is so late (again)! I had a *really* busy July, which really didn’t help at all. But anyway, here’s my thoughts on the shows that I finished this past season! All but one are sequels, though (and the one non-sequel was a carryover from last season)... Don’t worry, I’ll watch stuff like Megalobox and Hinamatsuri eventually! :’D

All “reviews” are listed in alphabetical order!

Amanchu! Advance - 8.0 / 10 (B-)

I liked season 2 as a whole! (Except for one episode / thing…)

QUEERBAITING SUCKS

I dunno if this is the fault of the anime or the source material…

…but this is still the most blatant example I’ve ever watched >_>

episode 11 didn’t need to happen!!! Why couldn’t Kokoro just… be a girl

or y’know, just let Pikari and Teko continue to “love” each other as they have! OTL

maybe why it annoyed me so much is that it’s like… a total bait & switch that went on for 2 SEASONS

to be fair, the reveal kinda went over my head? But when r/anime pointed it out, that’s when the salt began :/

yet the finale still has them blushing over reading thank you notes? It’s like this show wants its cake & eat it too

at the end of the day, the Kokoro stuff just… got in the way of Teko & Pikari’s interactions, platonic or not >_>

Also I’m one of the few people who actually liked the Peter arc

and it gave Ai some spotlight time!!!

it’s nice to have a little story arc to change things up (as opposed to an episodic structure)

(though I understand why many didn’t care for it… it leans a lot more towards supernatural than usual)

IMO they at least gave precedent w/ that one lucid dreaming episode w/ Teko, though

AND THERE’S ACTUAL SCUBA DIVING THIS TIME \o/

the underwater moments can be very magical… definitely the visual highlight

And the cast of characters is still enjoyable to watch too~ (def. a good group dynamic there)

Kokoro is considered a polarizing character for sure

I didn’t mind him that much until, y’know… his gender reveal led to the queer-baiting thing >_>

The finale was really nice though! It had pretty diving scenes and had cute Teko & Pikari moments~

In any case, this is still a very relaxing and heartwarming anime~

It has all the things I enjoyed about S1 here; it’s just the things added on top were a mixed-bag

Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card - 8.0 / 10 (B)

EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW IS BEING VAGUE AS SHIT

But at least the mystery is interesting!

It’s just too bad it took like… 20 episodes to start getting any kind of explanation :’)

I actually watched the original series through a r/anime rewatch at the end of last year!

(meaning there wasn’t much time for me going from that series to this sequel)

I enjoyed the callbacks to the original series as well!

(including going from *anime* canon! i.e. the 2nd movie actually being canon)

The visuals look nice! Even though it almost looks a bit… *too* rounded in comparison to the original

I enjoyed watching Sakura capture all the new cards in different ways~

Even though this season was VERY light on plot (mostly), this aspect provided the action~

Also I enjoyed watching the character interactions too ^^

But yeah… the lack of overarching plot development and VAGUENESS kinda holds this season back

that being said, the final episodes set up some potentially interesting developments to come

and the finale itself *definitely* was not a conclusive one, so S2 better be confirmed soon!

Overall, I still enjoyed this continuation for the things it did right! I’ll be looking forward to a S2~

Darling in the FranXX - 8.0 / 10 (B)

Well this is/was a… polarizing show, to say the least.

I enjoyed it overall, but certain things about it hold it back from a higher score for me.

There’s two main elephants in the room with this series, really

#1 is… the heteronormativity

this was basically from the get-go, and in the roots of the story / themes itself

since the themes revolve around male/female partnerships & the importance of that… Yeah

one of the core quotes being “a female and a male aren’t complete w/o the other” …Yeah, again

also the sex-like positions of the “stamen” and “pistil” while piloting also doesn’t help

the workings of this world’s society has hetero relationships as the standard and doesn’t really allow for other options

(i.e. the FranXX piloting, Ikuno’s female attraction not working out in both operating the mech & her feelings for Ichigo, etc.)

at least Ikuno and Ichigo got a scene to talk about their attraction feelings & make up somewhat ^^

plus the Nines are basically gender non-binary but are seen as antagonistic forces for most of the show… Yeah

and just basic hetero things (like sex & pregnancy) were like being attacked in this show (when it’s not in real life???)

there’s an image meme that’s like “no, Prime Minister Abe… this will not get people to have babies” (…agreed :’D)

sure, there are *many* ways you can interpret this show, but the fact that so many people have seen it as such is Not Good

#2 is… the show supposedly “jumping the shark” towards the end

the main culprit of this (for many people) seems to be the “suddenly aliens!” reveal in episode ~20

this didn’t really impact my enjoyment of the show at all, but I definitely understand why people would be disappointed

in a way, it does kinda shift the story away from the themes it was using prior to this…

perhaps the lack of foreshadowing was another reason the shift in plot didn’t go well

plus it tends to directly riff off of certain visual cues from other mecha (like Eva & Gurren Lagaan)

Those two main gripes aside, the directing & visuals in this show were what kept me interested throughout

music choices, visual choices, etc. just really made certain moments better than they probably should’ve been

I enjoyed the characters as a group as well (even if most of them individually weren’t anything to write home about)

Goro’s a good bro, Ichigo went through good development, Kokoro & Mitsuru developed as a good pair…

Futoshi ended up being kind of a fat joke to the end though (& it was interesting that him & Kokoro didn’t end up together)

of course, Zero Two is the one everyone loved (& I liked her & Hiro’s dynamic as well)

sure, some people felt like she had “no personality” after she realized the truth about Hiro, but I didn’t mind the change

Plus I like that this show had a… pretty good ending, actually! (All things considered)

Directing as always was on point, and we got to see everyone’s lives over time (& Hiro + Zero Two eventually re-uniting as kids)

I just wish the main group got to see the two of them again :’)

though I do wish VIRM actually got full-on destroyed instead of a “we might come back” ending :/

and the ending was also kinda like “oh yeah, all the Children sent away didn’t actually die!” ???

This show will likely have a legacy not unlike Guilty Crown going forward, but I thought it ended better than that show, for the record

But yeah, this show is far from perfect and has questionable themes. But I still enjoyed it over all for the things it did well~’

Nanatsu no Taizai S2 - 8.0 / 10 (B-)

Unfortunately, not as good as S1 (but I still enjoyed this season overall)

S1 felt like its own self-contained story, but this season is clearly a “Part 1” for things to come

I wish Diana had more to do this season… she lost her memory early on and STILL doesn’t have it back

she was out of the main conflict (& separated from the group) for most of it :/

she also had these WEIRD ANGLES & POSES all the time… the fan service w/ her was *Really* distracting

the only consolation is that we got to learn some backstory for her & meet her fellow giants

oh well, at least she’s met up with King again and is enjoying his company by the end :)

The Gowther twist is interesting, but the way they revealed it was kinda… underwhelming

plus that *also* hasn’t been resolved yet (like many other things this season)

Some good moments this season were centered around Ban

such as his relationship w/ Jericho, time w/ a resurrected Elaine, and the small arc w/ his foster dad :’)

Also the final Sin got introduced w/ Escanor! PRAISE THE SUN

he’s a fun character; skittish by night and INVINCIBLE by day

The addition of power levels was kinda weird

it wasn’t necessary in S1, so why add it now???

The training arc gave us a full flashback to Melodias’ past w/ losing Liza, which was nice (and sad ;~; )

plus the vs. 10 Commandments fight actually showed Melodias full-on dying? That doesn’t happen much

it was a brutal death too! Hard to watch ;~;

plus they even changed the OP animation to reflect that he died… now that’s commitment

of course he came back later on, but there’s a catch… (since he loses some emotions every time)

There were some good fights, mostly during the “tournament” arc

(especially Melodias vs. all commandments… a sakuga highlight for sure)

The finale had a good stopping point, but it definitely makes clear that the story’s not over

so yeah, unlike season 1, this season *needs* a season 3 to be worth the watch

So yeah, there were some good moments & fights this season, but as a whole, it’s weaker than S1

Shokugeki no Souma S3 (Part 2) - 8.5 / 10 (B+)

I enjoyed this season! Continuing on the darker tone that the first half of S3 set up

This plot line of Central taking over the school is still my favorite plot point thus far, tbh

in other words, shit is finally going down!

…even if many of Central are just mustache-twirling villains :’D

Erina’s gotten great development from this arc too…! She’s not just a typical stuck-up tsundere anymore

her backstory is definitely a harsh one. It was great seeing her gain the courage to stick up to dad!

We also learned more about Souma’s dad! :O

Especially about how he was seen as feared, and the pressure of success got to him :’(

along with how this backstory tied into Asami’s motivations as well

Most of the season was kinda a gauntlet of opponents for the “resistance” to face off against

seeing Akira turn evil (for a bit) was interesting, but it’s a good thing he turned good again~

we oddly haven’t seen a lot of the Elite Ten in cooking action yet???

The final part of the season started off the big Team Shokugeki! …but it only got through the first round

the stakes are definitely high for this one, and also seems like the big conflict of this arc for sure

it’s just, y’know… the season ending in the middle is not a good look, really

at least the ending wasn’t abrupt; it was open-ended but still had a sense of conclusion

All in all, a good second half of season 3 (with some of my favorite plot content thus far!). Keep it up!

#amanchu #amanchu! #amanchu advance #cardcaptor sakura #cardcaptor sakura clear card #darling in the franxx #nanatsu no taizai #the seven deadly sins #shokugeki no soma #food wars #Final Impressions

[1985directedbyyentan]

boy i’m about to do it... @pikeisaman asked me for a gobblepot outline of how they progress through the show and i have nothing better to do so here we go

season 1

literally from the pilot their fates are sealed and it's clear that they and this city will always be a part of each other’s lives. gordon is a babyfaced war hero cop determined to make this city better. oswald is a lowly umbrella boy  to a mafiosa (fish....my love) who snitches to the cops about the wayne murder case to further his own status. jim is ordered by mob boss falcone to take oswald to the end of the pier and shoot him for snitching. instead he lets him live, telling him to never come back to gotham. well...he definitely does come back with a master plan and shows up on jim’s doorstep (scaring the living shit out of him!!) explaining that he wants to help jim because he’s the last good man in gotham. part of oswald’s plan is telling his new employer maroni about what happened, the dude forces jim to come to his aid and corroborate the story and i tell you. the look in oswald’s eyes as he silently thanks jim for saving his life yet again...is what started my descent into this madness.

so eventually it’s revealed that oswald is alive and there’s all this mob bullshit but what’s important to this post is that when oswald waiting for his fate from falcone, he begged that the job of killing him be given to jim because he knew he’s the only good man in this city with a conscious who would spare his life. and he was right and in return he now secretly works for falcone and pleads for him to spare jim’s life when he gets out of line (which to THIS DAY jim does know about and it pisses me off!!!!)

anyways down the line jim finally comes to oswald for his first of many favors down the line because the city and the gcpd are corrupt and oswald is literally SO HAPPY like he’s been waiting for this moment and so have i because before this point this was the basis of so many fics for them. “FAVOR IS DONE..FRIENDS DON’T OWE FRIENDS, SILLY” this is actual dialogue that haunts me to this day

but then of course oswald’s promise of “no one gets hurt” doesn’t bode so well and jim is like [gob voice] i’ve made a huge mistake so the next time he sees oswald he’s a raging douche to him and from there on out. said interaction is what i call the first gobblepot breakup scene. oswald is opening his new club and comes to the gcpd to hand deliver an opening party invitation to jim with an earnest look in his eyes that parallels asking your crush to prom. jim says no and says he doesn’t want oswald coming to his work and THROWS THE INVITATION IN THE GARBAGE. Oswald urges that jim shouldn’t treat him this way because one day he’ll come back to him because THEY NEED EACH OTHER AND JIM IS A DUMBASS FOR NOT YET REALIZING THIS.

So literally like four episodes later jim DOES need oswald’s help and they road trip it up to this cabin and jim saves his life yet again but cuts Oswald off before he can thank him for it. A few eps later he comes AGAIN for a favor and when Oswald fucks with him he literally GRABS HIM by the shirt with empty threats. This boy just loves grabbing other men and pulling their faces within inches of each other while looking all macho. I tell you. But yeah Oswald still does the favor and says jim owes him this time (we’re past “friends don’t owe friends” since jim rejected jim)

Then somehow in the s1 finale jim’s idea of a favor is threatening to leave Oswald to be killed by mobsters in a hospital and Oswald has to wit his way out of things and have jim take him with him but like….this is the first time you see in oswald’s face that he was wrong to trust jim and it’s so goddamn heartbreaking.  

SEASON 2

Jim has been demoted because he told the mayor to kiss his ass among other unruly things and he goes to Oswald (who is now “king of gotham”) to get his job back. Oswald agrees if jim shakes down this dude who owes him money. Jim ends up killing the guy in self defense and feels shitty but Oswald keeps his word and gets jim his job back. Meanwhile gcpd has a new captain because the writers hate women of color and killed off Essen so now Michael chikilis is here and is the most aggressive by-the-book dude you’ve ever seen. He’s like “yo if anyone here is corrupt and idk likes to fuck with skinny gay emo criminals for favors I’ll fire you” so jim is like :o when chiklis announces they’re going after Oswald jim goes to warn him and ask him about shit going down because it doesn’t sound like something Oswald would do (he’s actually being forced to do it because his mom is being held hostage). Instead of telling jim what’s wrong he snaps at him and this is breakup scene 2.0 basically. These boys love the angst. 

So oswald’s poor mom gets murdered by this dude named galavan who’s taking over the city and he’s trying to make it seem like Oswald is doing all this shit and jim is like “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm” and galavan is elected mayor and Oswald wants to crash his party to fuckin murder him him. Jim for some reason is protecting this asshole because I guess it’s his job or something. This turns into jim standing between Oswald and galavan, both with guns drawn on each other. Neither can pull the trigger on each other. If this were literally any other person Oswald would just gun down whoever was in between him and justice for his murdered mom. But it’s jim. So instead he pleads and cries for him to step aside and jim implies that he can’t even though he knows galavan is guilty but it’s this dumb cop code or something. The writers decided at this point that instead of us getting to see who would back down first, Oswald is shot in the shoulder by someone else and goes into hiding and recovery. 

Them boys meet up again because galavan goes to trial and accuses Oswald of all the shit he did and jim’s like “WHY THE FUCK YOU LYIN” in the middle of court so he’s taken away by galavan’s men and they gonna kill him but then OSWALD APPEARS because theses dudes are like addicted to saving each other’s lives at this point. Jim wakes up with Oswald being there like “hello please help me kill this douche” and jim agrees. Some bullshit happens in between but what’s important is that they…literally….kill a man together. Like if nothing else that they’ve done for each other so far didn’t seal this connection, this did. 

And then even jim is technically the one who pulled the trigger on the bullet that killed galavan, Oswald takes the full blame and goes to arkham asylum for it. He goes through the worst mental torture imaginable for jim. When he sees jim on site and pleads for him to get him out jim is a Dick and claims this therapy is for his own good and it’s honestly so painful to watch like this is the last shred of hope Oswald had for jim.

A lot of this later half of s2 they’re doing their own thing and jim goes to jail and Oswald finds his rich dad who gets murdered in front of him but later on Galavan comes back to life and Oswald kills him again just as the dude was about to kill jim so oswald’s just like “you’re welcome bye”

SEASON 3

Jim and Oswald greet each other like bitter exes at the gcpp when Oswald asks jim (who is now a bounty hunter) why he hasn’t caught fish mooney and jim says “you haven’t made it worth my while”. He does eventually help catch her by calling Oswald (guess they just still have each other’s numbers) and telling Oswald where she’ll be.

They don’t interact for a while this season but at one point when jim is put on a hallucinogenic trip he has a vision that he’s fighting a war with Oswald and Oswald saves his life in the dream and tells him “never leave your unit behind.” They literally never explain this on the show but I assume it’s about jim’s guilt for leaving him at arkham.

So then waaaay later on Oswald shows up on jim’s doorstep asking for information on Edward nygma and gives jim a phone with only his number on it, which becomes useful to jim when he’s held hostage and calls Oswald for help. Oswald like Bernie sanders runs to the place and saves jim yet again. Instead of thanking him jim is once again an asshole and says “took you long enough”

So then the s3 finale. I have never been more stressed in my life. Jim has been infected with this virus that makes you basically a violent douche with no inhibitions so he’s battling those demons and accidentally kills fish mooney in the process (Oswald actually likes her this time so he mad) and then is ready to offer Oswald up to save the city. Oswald ain’t happy about this, but only finds out at the last minute that jim is infected with the virus so idk how that affects his opinion on jim’s actions here 

SEASON 4

Oswald has time for NO ONE his emotions have already gotten him nearly killed multiple times. He runs gotham and jim doesn’t like it. They keep publicly arguing with reporters and photographers documenting this gay shit. Even though they apparently hate each other they can’t get through an interaction without grabbing the other and bringing their faces within inches of each other to make empty threats. I’m told they will team up again later in the season which Gives Me Hope because both actors have said from day one that their destinies are forever intertwined. These boys are never escaping each other. 

So yeah that’s as far as an outline goes, I can go even further if you want more meta and headcanons 

#pikeisaman #gobblepot #i'd put this under a read more but i spent WAY too much time on it for that shit so enjoy #long post