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#but I do know how to. its new to me so I prefer phone
seelestia · 1 day
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⟡ within your waking thoughts (there i’ll be).
⎯ what do they do when they miss you? how do they cope with yearning when you're away? { y for yearning ノ ordered by @floraldresvi! (sorry for the ping!) }
RESERVED FOR! ノ characters. aventurine, sunday, dr. ratio ft. gn!reader. { 1.3k words }
FLAVOR! ノ genre. fluff, slight angst (my apology to sunday lovers yet again), established relationship.
TOPPINGS! ノ tags. aventurine has his tech savvy moment, pre-2.2 sunday (heavy references but no spoilers), ratio has two phones (king of separating work & personal life !!!).
BAKER’S NOTE! ノ thoughts. a repost! bcs tumblr didn't like it the first time. hopefully, this one will be here to stay. thank u to vivi for requesting this ‹3
© seelestia on tumblr, may 2024. please do not repost, plagiarize, translate, use for AI-related purposes or claim as your own.
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in your absence, aventurine welcomes little thoughts of you that float around his mind with open arms - and the way he indulges them is by simply texting you. effective and efficient, there is a reason why the cosmos calls it the second most used means for long distance communication. what about the first? well, he would've opted for calling you with his earpiece if only his line of work doesn't require 90% of its usage time.
let's just say the idea of fellow stonehearts interrupting his conversation with you ruins the fun. besides, he has deft fingers; coin tricks aren't the only thing in his book, you know, typing a few sentences in one go is no problem at all.
but maybe, he is using that too much to his advantage . . . considering the “25+” staring back at you from your notifications every few hours or so. aventurine is truly, irrevocably relentless.
anything even remotely in your favorite color found within his vicinity? new message: Saw something that reminded me of you, you must really like crossing my mind.
an item he thinks would fit you well? new message: I got you a gift. Does it suit your fancy? [1 attachment]
reminded of how cruel fate is to separate you two for so long? new message: Haven't seen your face in a while. Fifteen hours are a total too cruel, don't you agree?
have faith that you will never grasp the true meaning of boredom when you’re apart from him. luck follows a man like aventurine, so do interesting events - remember how he won a vacation to a resort with one chip? he revels in telling you stories of his encounters while you're away. it is as if thrill revolves around him constantly. . . one wonders just how he fares living on the edge of it all.
(you, for one, are aware of his ways. he has allowed you to wander far enough behind his masquerade, after all.)
of course, texts on an illuminated screen can barely compare to seeing you in person. he prefers having you in his arms instead - but he'll live. solitude is an old friend of his, albeit distant and cold, aventurine can deal with its company every once in a while. at the end of the day, he knows you’ll be there when he comes home.
though, it's such a shame he cannot see your face when you're apart. the curve of your lips as you smile, the twinkle in your eyes with his reflection in them, and. . . ah, seems like he is making this harder for himself. maybe, he should consider buying that HD holographic communicative device on the market? his ears caught wind of some P45 officers at pier point whispering about it before.
it'll cost a large sum of credits but hey, he thinks it'll be worth it. for you? anything is possible.
(...him? clingy? well, guilty as charged.)
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sunday’s self-discipline is not something to be underestimated. halovians are a species known for their enchanting voices, yet he feels as if he cannot spare any for even his inner thoughts. what an irony. his longing for your presence is persistent, tumbling at the edge of his tongue - but he is equally as, if not more, stubborn and so he swallows this yearning down instantly.
you are not confined to the dreamscape like he is, as self-imposed as that may be. sunday is aware of that, hence his first instinct is to keep quiet. the curse of sealing his lips till forevermore; watching you leave through the grand doors, letting his gaze fall to where your shadow used to be, savoring the last of your remaining fragrance from when you last bade him goodbye - all without a word.
(don't go, he wished he could say.)
is it a bad habit? “your voice shouldn't be used just to utter words that others want to hear,” you reminded him once. “it's also for you. it's yours.”
but even then, your words are akin to a faint whisper; muffled by the thoughts that plague his mind like a mist. he can't help how they fog up his reflection in the mirror, leaving remnants of something acrid that wafts in the air. something like doubts, sunday would know because he has dwelled in it for as long as he remembers.
you are outside, fluttering your wings in the sky and enjoying what it has to offer. does he have any rights to disturb you? perhaps, in his eyes, sunday views himself as a string tied around your talon, trailing all the way from the heavens where you soar to the humble ground where he resides. each time your absence compels him to reach out, it is as if he’s tugging on that string and dragging you lower from the height you truly relish in, from the height you deserve to be at.
(sunday believes that you belong to the sky, unlike him.)
so here, he shall stay and here, he shall wait until you return. sunday’s heart begins to grow cold - but the farewell kiss you've left on the apple of his cheek hasn't faded. its warmth remains, even when he brushes his freezing hand against it, it remains.
you remain.
(and that is enough for him.)
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dr. ratio is a man with a packed schedule, so it's safe to say he keeps himself occupied particularly well. tasks at the intelligentsia guild are nothing short of demanding, after all. there are researchers asking for his input left and right, although some tremble while speaking to him even when he hasn't even uttered a word yet. ignoring that, he also aids in projects that require his expertise. last but not least, his students and classes which he takes very seriously.
(but be careful with how you phrase it — the doctor doesn't view them as distractions, no, he sees them as his responsibilities — saying the former might offend him.)
as you can see, he is perfectly capable of spending time away from you. . . .or at least, until it's time for a break and a part of that perfection chips off.
his office is quite tranquil, free from outside noise, just the way he likes. this place bears a similar purpose as his headgear, to let him focus in silence without disturbance - but he hasn't expected that exact silence to be this deafening. hah, how absurd! in what realm of possibility could silence ever be associated with deafening as an adjective? he supposes it could be a case of tinnitus. . . but veritas knows that isn't the case.
something's missing and it is, much to his dismay, you.
veritas has his standards. he prefers things to be set at a specific level - and this level of silence, one marred further by your lack of presence, is too low for him. he's getting too used to seeing you barge into his office with neatly packed sandwiches in your hands, a revelation he'd rather keep to himself.
veritas reaches for his personal phone, his work one left neglected at the far end of the desk. he considers making a call to you but the clock is ticking. tick tock tick tock, as if to hang the fact that his break is reaching its end over his head.
utilizing whatever time he has left, his finger gives the gallery app a tap. various pictures pop up on the screen; selfies of you with silly expressions, candid shots of veritas himself and some photos of random objects like your matching mugs. all of these were taken by you, of course. seriously, is this his phone or is it yours?
who knows at this point? he nearly lets out a snort, but that smile on his face is fooling no one. the doctor continues scrolling through his gallery, utterly content with just this until he gets home. to you.
(yes, yes, this still counts as keeping himself occupied. thank you for your concern.)
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— thank you for reading! reblogs with comments are most appreciated.
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luveline · 6 months
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hi bae, just wondering if you could write something like roommate!marauders and reader with anxiety where everytime one of them goes out she gets really worried that’s somethings gonna happen to them and waits up for them and just feels like a burden when she calls to make sure they’re alright and just general anxiety things and them being so sweet about it
love u
love u too♡
cw death related anxiety
“Hey, Remus?” you ask tentatively. 
Your housemate lays across the sofa with his dinner half eaten on the coffee table and a book tented on his chest. He's ignoring both in favour of the television, a rerun of Family Fortunes turning the sofa cushions and his pale skin a light blue. 
He drags his blue-tinged gaze from the subtitles to your frowning. “What's wrong?” he asks. You're surprised he heard you over the sound of Sirius’ stereo echoing down the stairs. 
“Where did James say he was going?” 
“I think he said he'd be at the gym for an hour now he's not in work. Want me to call him?” 
“Why would you call him?” you ask, instead of saying yes, please, like you want to. 
“You're worrying again.” 
They know how you are. It doesn't mean they have to understand —it isn't logical to think James is hurt because he hasn't been home today yet, and none of them are required to humour you in your worry, but they always do. 
You feel sick as he takes his phone from his pocket. You've convinced yourself that James is dead, that his car curled around a bend too quickly on the drive in the rain, or that something happened at the gym, or that he never made it there at all, had a fit in the car park outside of work. Even as you think it, you know it's implausible, unlikely, just a repetitive negative anxiety worming its way into your head, but you can't make it stop. 
James doesn't answer the first time, which doesn't help, and then when he does answer the second time you're waiting for bad news. Remus smiles as he talks. “Hello? Jamie?”
James doesn't need speak phone to be heard. “Remus! I'm at the gym, what's happening?”
Remus wrinkles his nose. “What's happening? Since when do you say that?”
“What's up?” James corrects. “I'm on my way out of the gym, can you talk? You can keep me company while I drive.” 
Remus holds out the phone to you. 
“Remus?” James asks into the room. You take the phone before he can hang up, and decide to be honest, but the words get stuck like toffee between your teeth. “Hello?” 
“Hey,” you say, sending Remus a grateful look. He moves over to make room on settee for you, and his arm wraps familiarly around your shoulders as you settle in. He turns his attention back to his show. 
“Oh my god hey, angel. Remus okay?” 
“I was making him ring you, sorry. I thought… you know what I'm like. It's getting late and you aren't home, and I know I don't have the right to pester you about where you are.”
“Yeah you do,” James says, his voice louder, like his mouth is very close to the microphone. “Course you do. I'd worry too if you weren't home yet.” 
“I do this all the time, though.”
Just last week he and Sirius were out late and you'd panicked that they'd both been hurt. You stayed up until almost one in the morning waiting for them to get home from a music shop in the city, each minute after eleven like a shot of ice water in your veins. Sirius jumped when he saw you waiting in the living room, but then he'd given you a hug and rubbed at your shoulders roughly. You didn't wait up for us, did you? 
“It's worse lately, yeah?” James asks. You hum non-committal, and Remus gives you a squeeze in typical Remus fashion. You hadn't even realised he was listening, but his support makes this easier. “You're worrying about us more.”
“Yeah,” you say. “I don't know why. And it sucks because I know it's making me a lot to deal with.” 
“I would one thousand percent prefer it if you rang me then sat there worrying. That would make me feel better. And Remus and Sirius feel the same way, okay? We could all stand to ring each other a bit more anyways.” 
You rub your nose into your hand. “Sorry,” you mumble. 
“There's no need to be. I love you, ‘n I just want you to be happy. If a phone call can make that happen then why shouldn't you do it? And it's not like they're a big imposition, I like talking to you. We all do.”
James is home from the gym what could only be ten minutes later, and he leans over the back of the settee to kiss your forehead chasely. “Here we are, all safe and well.” 
“You haven't seen Sirius yet,” Remus points out.
“I can bloody well hear him. What is he listening to? Is that U2?” James shakes his head in disgust. “I can see why you were so worried I wasn't coming home. Let me go put a stop to that immediately.” 
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woso-dreamzzz · 20 days
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Allergies II
Hardersson x Daughter!Reader
Natalia Guijarro (OC) x Hardersson!Reader
Part of The Big Adeventures Universe
Summary: You have another allergic reaction
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In all honesty, you didn't really think it was that serious.
Nutrition meetings at Barcelona were a lot more in depth than what you were used to at Arsenal. They took ages and were full of information that would probably be interesting if you actually cared but, alas, nutrition had never been as interesting to you as other subjects so you tended to just zone out.
You were handed a new smoothie with some kind of new protein powder in or something you would have known if you actually listened.
You drank it.
That's when things start to get weird.
The nutritionist continues to drone on and you frown, scratching at your neck.
You stare down at your bottle for a moment as your throat goes all scratchy and intense.
You force yourself to swallow before glancing around.
Your throat gets a bit tighter.
No one else seems to be having such a reaction so you unscrew the top of your bottle to peer inside. You sniff the mixture before standing up.
You can feel people watch as you make your way over to the first aid kit at the front of the room. Your throat has fully closed up now and you know that you're turning alarmingly red and probably breaking out in hives.
Honestly, you feel a little bit shocked how you're even conscious right now but you grab your epipen and stab it into your leg.
"Banana," You say plainly," I can't eat that."
Even with the adrenaline now pumping through your system, you slide your way down the wall to sit on the floor, breathing in deeply.
The room erupts into chaos the moment you sit down.
The medical staff come in to check your blood pressure and your throat and the expiration date of your epipen. The nutritionist leading the session is going absolutely ballistic yelling at one of her assistants for not checking the allergy sheets before making and handing out the smoothies.
Talia looks close to tears as she forces her way towards you, practically shoving some of the medics away. "Are you okay? Is it bad? Do I need to call your mums?"
"No! Don't call my-"
Talia's already gone out into the hall, phone pressed up against her ear.
You wonder which one of your mothers she has in her contacts.
Surely not Morsa because she's still in that stage where she's pretending to hate your girlfriend but you can't remember your Momma and Talia interacting enough to have swapped numbers and you know for certain that you weren't one to hand out people's numbers without explicit permission.
As the medics fuss and the nutritionist yells, the team also gather around to check that you're alright but you just give them a gallant shrug.
"I'm fine," You say," The epipen did its work."
"I think I'd prefer if you take the day off," The head of the medical team says," Just to be safe. You can come back tomorrow."
You know better than to argue with him so you just nod with a little sigh of annoyance.
"I can take her home," Talia says as she re-enters the room," I've got her."
"I can take a taxi home," You insist.
You and Talia drive in together so only one car is used. If you go home in that car now then she'll have to get a taxi in the middle of rush hour.
"I'll take you home," Talia says," Coach can spare me at training today. Someone's got to make sure you actually follow medical advice."
You roll your eyes. "I swear you've been hanging out with my Momma behind my back." You take the hand she offers to help you stand. "You sound just like her."
You end up back home fairly quickly, curled up on the sofa and practically forced to take a nap.
Prins joins you, curled up in the bend of your knee. Reina settles on the top of the sofa behind your head, completely stretched out and at ease with herself while Kung manages to wiggle himself between your arms to nap there.
You don't know how long you nap for but it must be a while because the sun is setting when you wake up and you can smell Talia cooking up your favourite pasta dish in the world.
You sit up.
You've definitely been sleeping for a while because Reina has migrated to her cat tree, poking her head out of the cave to watch Kung bounce around the floor in outrage at not being allowed up there with her.
Prins has taken Kung's place between your arms and his tongue rolls out of his mouth in a semblance of a dopey smile when he notices you awake, his tail beginning to wag happily.
"Hi, little man," You say, gently scratching between his ears," Did you keep me company?"
Prins' tail wags even more fiercely than before.
"Didn't want to leave your side."
You jolt, shrieking and Prins whines a little.
"Morsa! What are you doing here?!"
"Talia called your Momma," Morsa says, tucking the blanket more firmly around your body," Your allergies acted up."
"I dealt with it," You insist," You didn't have to fly out."
"Yes, we did," Morsa replies," Because if we waited for you to tell us, it would take weeks!"
You puff out your cheeks. "I wouldn't want to worry you over something so silly."
"Are you calling your allergies silly again?" Momma says. She enters with two plates worth of food and you sit up.
Prins leaps down to wander over to his own dog bed. Seeing him lying there, Kung wanders over, jumping up onto Prins' back to finish napping there as Reina ducks her head back into her cave.
"No, Momma," You mumble, accepting your food as Morsa takes a seat on the armchair and Momma to the left of you, leaving an empty space for Talia, who also brings out food for herself and Morsa before taking her own seat.
"Are you feeling better, mi vida?" She asks," You look better."
You nod. "I feel fine. My leg aches a little but that's expected."
"We'll put an icepack on it once we've finished eating. Prins was very worried about you."
Prins raises his head at the mention of his name, tail wagging.
"He's good boy."
Morsa grins from across the room. "I knew getting you a dog was a good idea."
Momma scoffs. "You told me that we should have gotten her a fish."
Morsa coughs to clear her throat and mumbles," Don't lie, Pernille."
"You wanted to get me a fish?" You laugh in disbelief," And you say Rocky is the most disappointing pet in the world."
"Are you really saying your pet rock is more exciting than a fish?"
"Am I?" You pretend to think for a moment. "Yes. Yes, I am."
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zhng96 · 10 months
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𝐁𝐅 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 — zb1
↳ pairing: ot9!zb1 x gn!reader
↳ warning: fluff for those w a sweet tooth <3
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— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐈𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐆
↳ moving you by your waist
- sidewalk rule is something HE LIVES BY
- when you’re blocking his way he’ll gently just grab your waist and beckon you to move UGH
- he is so boyfriend i will die
- he lives for the flustered look on your face EVERY TIME HE DOES IT
- you swear you will never get used to it
- you are walking on the side closer to the street? NOT GNNA HAPPEN UNDER HIS WATCH!
- you’re a little too close to a high ledge? NOT UNDER HIS WATCH
- you’re a little lost?? he’ll guide you by gently pushing you by the waist EHEHEHHE
- got me giggling n all..
(rest of the members under the cut!)
— 𝐙𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐀𝐎
↳ is constantly taking candid pictures of you :(( (he has a whole album he organized once a week on his phone)
- he wishes he could inject your reaction tho finding out every time he takes a picture
- he finds you so endearing istg
- he will purposely turn his ringer on so you can hear the camera snap
- sometimes he already awaits your reaction to the first snap so he takes a picture while your eyes are wide in realization
- he treasures it forever (it’s his lockscreen)
- i can imagine you guys being on face time while you are getting ready for the day and he just does the face time screen shot thing
- hes so boyfriend im afraid 😣😣 (pt2)
— 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐁𝐈𝐍
↳ always takes one flower from the bouquets he buys you to know when to buy you a new one
- we need more hanbins in the world 💔💔
- this man buys you a bouquet without you even asking he is literal perfection
- he sets the one flower on his window sill and always makes sure to check it everyday before leaving for work to know if he has to buy you a new one or not </3
- the first time he did it he texted you “hey since the last bouquet died do u prefer lilies or peonies?”
- you went feral LIKE HOW DID HE KNOW??!!
- and then when you went over to his house one day you saw a flower similar to the ones in your bouquet and you connected the dots
- he goes to the same flower shop every time too
- he goes to a locally managed one!! he thinks the flowers are prettier there than at any supermarket
- the old lady who runs the store is basically his second mother and told him to bring you so you two could meet
- he is so boyfriend it is actually crazy (pt3)
— 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐖
↳ buys everything that reminds him of you
- he is so adorable
- he’s out with his friends and he finds a plushie that resembles you?? yeah he’ll buy it
- some times he gifts them to you but sometimes he’ll keep it
- when you ask him about it he’ll be like “oh it made me think of you!”
- one time you noticed a cute plushie in the backseat of his car and you asked him where and why he bought it
- he said “it reminds me of you! that way every time im driving it feels like you’re with me :)”
- you melt EVERYTIME
- HE IS SO BOYFRIEND (pt4)
- you guys build a ikea shelf for your room solely used for displaying matthew’s trinkets he bought thinking of you :(
- he says its the yn museum LOLL
— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐄
↳ constantly bumps into you as you walk
- it sounds annoying but it’s actually really endearing :(
- times he can’t hug you he’ll touch you by teasing and bumping into you
- he’s also distracted and just so comfortable and immersed in your conversation that he can’t walk straight
- (but he doesn’t tell you that)
- sometimes he almost pushes the both of you off the side walk LOL
- he finds moments where being playful but also being close to you are his favourite memories
- sometime when you get tired of it you just hold his hand which suddenly makes him stop hehe
- he just wants to be close to you is all
- and tease you <33
- boyfriend coded (pt5)
— 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐑𝐔𝐈
↳ sets food on your plate whenever you eat out
- AHHH THIS MAKES ME SMILE SO HARD
- i feel like hes not the most openly affectionate person,,, like he shies away from pda n all that
- so instead he shows his love through his actions!!!
- you guys are out eating at a kbbq place and hes just placing some meat or rice on your plate </3
- he’s so attentive w/ it too like when he notices the pile is slowly getting smaller, he takes more off of the grill and sets it on your plate :(((
- when you take notice he smiles, places more and goes “here you go” AHHHH
- once u got to the last piece on your pile its tradition to feed it to him :))
- he happily accepts
- he’s so lovely :((
- and so boyfriend </3 (pt6)
— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐆𝐘𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐍
↳ touching you with his cold hands
- LIVES for harmless teasing
- he’ll take his hands and cup your cheeks with them :((
- he loves the squeal and the cute little face you make :((
- HE JUST LOVES YOU!!!
- sometimes you guys are cuddling in bed and he’ll put his hands under your shirt and rest them on your stomach
- you squeal again which = happy happy gyuvin
- he always apologizes w kisses afterward tho :)
- now you are both happy
- GAWD HE IS SO BOYFRIEND (pt7)
— 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐆𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐊
↳ whenever you ask for one of his hoodies, he sprays a fresh spritz of his cologne on it
- he likes any opportunity to give you his hoodies :))
- he acts like he doesn’t see you basking in the cologne the hoodie absorbed the first few times he gives you his hoodie
- so now he makes sure to give it an extra spray before giving it to you :))
- he’s considered buying you the cologne as a gift once actually
- but he likes the feeling of keeping the secret that he knows how much you like the scent so he decides against it :)
- he likes seeing your smile every time you put one of his hoodies on not knowing he was admiring hehe
- bf coded (pt8)
— 𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐔𝐉𝐈𝐍
↳ compares you to cute and funny animal pictures
- im tempted to make a seperate imagine for this its just so cute
- you’ll just be going about your day and he’ll text you
- he’ll just send the picture of an animal and say “you :)”
- you ask him to elaborate (he has picsart downloaded just for this moment) so he sends a collage of a picture of you resembling the actions or face the animal makes
- he is so cuteness i will die
- when you guys are hanging out he’ll take it phone screen and open up a picture of an animal and hold the screen right next to you face
- he inspects it like he’s an artist and just giggles
- you live for it tho
- oh can’t forget about the times he would ask you to do a pose and you comply reluctantly and he takes a picture and adds it to his collection of pictures that resemble an animal :)
- yea he has an entire album on his camera roll
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navi. mlist.
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2K notes · View notes
themattgirl · 4 months
Note
could you please make one where Chris and reader are dating and reader feels sick and Chris just takes care of her and acts all sweet and stuff? 🫠
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an: thank you for the request ily 🧡
this turned out so much longer than i intended
this isn’t my first one shot but it’s the first with one of the sturniolo triplets in it. 
obviously their characters have been altered by me a little to fit into the story but i tried to make it as realistic as possible by keeping their personality traits as they are in real life.
also comment or like this post if you want to be added to the taglist
pairing: chris x fem!reader
word count: 4.1k
warnings: fluff, use of ‘babe’ and ‘ma’ as pet names for reader, intentional wrong spelling in text messages to make it more realistic, mentions of nsfw themes, swearing, lots of playful teasing between characters
y/n’s dialogue  
chris’ dialogue
matt’s dialogue
nick’s dialogue
mary lou’s dialogue
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“it’s just a cold, nothing serious i promise. i don’t think i can come over today though, i don’t wanna infect any of you. i’m sorry for ruining movie night,” i say to chris on facetime before breaking into a cough. i turn the camera away from me, not wanting him to see me in a disgusting state like this. if i could, i would’ve muted myself so he doesn’t have to listen to it either. plus, i know how worried he gets with any type of sickness or unwell feeling really.
so, of course it wouldn’t be chris if he didn’t immediately furrow his brows.
“babe no, don’t apologize. you didn’t choose to get sick.”
he gets up from where he was sitting on the couch and goes downstairs to his bedroom. he puts the phone down so all i can see now is his ceiling. his voice sounds a little farther away when he speaks again, “it doesn’t really sound like nothing serious, does anything hurt?”
“to be honest, my whole body has been aching since i woke up this morning. it’s not too bad, just a dull ache, i can still move and all that, even if i’d prefer to just lay here and rot away,” i laugh and hold back the cough that wants to escape right after in hopes it would make him worry a little less. vainly.
“your voice sounds stuffy and kinda hoarse, does your throat hurt?”
“i forgot you turn into a doctor every time somebody doesn’t feel great,” i roll my eyes even though he can’t see it with his phone still down and him on the other side of the room from how distant his voice sounds.
“shut up, y/n. you feel worse than ‘not great’. you’re not fooling anyone with that act.”
he reappears on the screen. now i can see what he has been doing in the time i couldn’t see him. he put on a hoodie over the tank top he had been wearing before, the hair he had put up in a little ponytail - if you could even call it that - in the front has been untied and brushed. or maybe he just ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times, that’d be more like it.
“anyways baby, imma call mom real quick. be right back,” he hangs up before i get the chance to respond.
i put the phone down next to me on the bed i’ve been in since i realized this morning how much it hurt to stand up and how i felt like i was gonna throw up every time i moved too hastily.
i took a deep breath - well, as deep as a breath can get when your nose is clogged - and closed my eyes to try and concentrate on something other than the throbbing pain in my head.
i feel so much worse than how i described it to chris and i feel bad for kind of lying to him, i do. but he has been dealing with so much of his own lately - new designs for his brand, fixing the shipping issues with some of the orders from his last drop, coming up with video ideas and prefilming those before him, nick and matt go on tour again, preparing everything for said tour - see, he really doesn’t need me to add to his things-to-worry-about-list, especially if he can’t do anything to fix it and it’ll go away on its own anyway.
i feel my phone’s vibration from somewhere in between the sheets and grab it. it's messages from nick.
hey y/n heard your not feeling so good (:/ smiley) i was really excited to see you again today but don’t you dare feel guilty for it
i know how you guilt trip yourself into thinking everything is your fault
its kind of a good thing bc now i have time to get the matching pjs we wanted
hope you feel better soon tho
matts sick too maybe you got it from him when you helped him decorate his room yesterday
I hey y/n heard your not feeling so good 😕 i was really excited to see you again today but don’t you dare feel guilty for it
word spreads faaast 😂 i’m so sad i gotta wait another week or so to see you again i only like sleepovers cuz of u but dont tell chris 🤫
I i know how you guilt trip yourself into thinking everything is your fault
seriously i hate that yk me so well 😐
I its kind of a good thing bc now i have time to get the matching pjs we wanted
at first i was like 🤨 but then i kept reading i LOVE YOUU SO MUCH OMG just so yk chris was the second option
I hope you feel better soon tho
me too now i’m excited for the pajamaaas 😫
I matts sick too maybe you got it from him when you helped him decorate his room yesterday 🤔
i’m gonna kill him like fr this time
hey where tf is chris??
talking to mom shes teaching him sth honestly don’t ask idk
ok 😂 i think im gonna take a nap talk later?
yess get some rest and lmk if you need anything ❤️
ly❤️❤️
after sending the last message i get a call from matt. i contemplate not picking up for a second but decide against it.
“what?”
“uff, what’s that attitude?”
“i’m sick because of you, shithead.”
“we don’t know that. what if you’re the one who passed it on to me, hm? besides, i was just calling to tell you to drink some water and to ask if you need anything. i was actually being nice but you clearly don’t deserve it,” his voice is just as bad as mine, if not worse which makes me feel a little bad, but matt wouldn’t be one of my best friends if i had to worry about him getting mad every time i’m not nice. that’s actually how we bonded after annoying each other every chance we got. we both have a bit of an attitude problem which caused a lot of irritation and aggravation. now we get along better than any pair of best friends. the teasing stayed in place, but now we both know there’s only endless love behind it. sometimes you just gotta let off a bit of steam and we both just get that.
“fine, i’m sorry. sickness really does turn you soft, huh?” i smirk.
“why’re you saying it like you just confirmed a theory?”
“mary lou told me once and i’ve been waiting ever since to see for myself, guess she was right.”
“you are actually the worst. i’m hanging up now. drink water, bye.”
he hangs up the phone and i laugh to myself. what a big baby.
i open chris’ chat and type in a message telling him i’m going to sleep and that i will call him once i wake up again. i don’t bother waiting for a reply and just put the phone on my nightstand. i turn on my side, close my eyes and after that i don’t notice anything anymore.
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i jolt up from bed, breathing heavy, body sweaty and heart racing. my room is dark, lit up only by the moon shining through my window. i look around trying to remember where i am and shake the nightmare from my mind.
i reach for my phone and check the time.
11:43 pm
i turn on the flashlight and right when i notice a black jacket hung over the back of my desk chair i hear footsteps coming closer.
chris pushes the door open and steps in.
“oh shit, did i wake you?”
“no i had a nightmare. what are doing here?”
i sit upright in bed and turn the flashlight off when chris flips the switch to turn on the fairy lights around the edges of my ceiling.
he moves to sit on the bed next to me before he answers, “i had mom teach me how to make her get-well-quick-soup and brought you some. she also told me about the perfect remedy tea, i can make it for you,” he stands up again immediately, “i’ll heat up the soup for you first. shit ma, have you even eaten anything today?” he stands by the door, holding the handle but looking back over his shoulder at me.
“chris,” i honestly don’t know what to say to him. he is so sweet i have to fight the tears that build up on my waterline. i just look at him for a moment, a little smile ghosting on my lips.
i’m well aware of how caring, considerate and compassionate chris is as a person in general, but it still baffles me sometimes how much he goes out of his way to make others feel good. i guess i’m just not used to it, being loved like this, having someone do everything that lies in their hands - and beyond that - just for me. it’s astonishing to say the least. especially when i myself have had issues with showing how deeply i cherish somebody ever since i can remember. it’s probably rooted somewhere in my past and how my affection has been received and responded to, that’s what my therapist says anyway.
i shake myself out of my thoughts and move the blanket away from my body to finally get up. immediately chris is beside me, holding me in place, “what’re you doing, ma? stay here i’ll bring it up,” he talks quietly, trying to get me to take in my previous lying position but i stay put on the ground.
“babe, i have been in this bed almost all day. i need to get up. i’ll just come down with you, we can eat together in the kitchen,” i try to convince him.
he looks at me, an uncertain expression on his face for a few seconds, the gears in his head almost visibly turning while he thinks about it. at last he lets out a sigh and nods, “alright then, hop on my back,” he bends over in a piggy back position in front of me and i can’t help the laugh that escapes me.
“you do know i can walk, right?” i ask still chuckling.
“i know, come ooon, just do it,” he urges me on and wiggles his hips, making me laugh even harder when i climb on his back.
“you’re gonna be so sick tomorrow, chris,” i complain mournfully once he lets me down to sit on the kitchen counter while he gets to heating up the soup he brought.
chris insists he’s not prone to catch a cold or any sickness easily, no matter how contagious or how close to the source he might be, even though he has proven himself wrong multiple times on more occasions than he cares to admit.
“no i won’t. besides, i could use a few days off even if i have to be sick to get that,” he lets out a huff of air trying to make it sound humorous, but both of us - and everyone who knows chris for that matter - knows that he is exhausted and is in desperate need of a break.
i know he doesn’t want me to get serious about that topic right now though so i try to change routes, “oh my god,” he turns around from where he was stirring the soup on the stove and faces me, confused about my shocked exclamation. i point an accusatory finger at him, my jaw hanging low but a smile still creeping it’s way on my face.
“so that’s why you’re here. you came to try and get infected, that’s why you carried me down too even though you know damn well i coulda walked by myself. and i’m here thinking you were actually being the best boyfriend on earth. turns out my man is a piece of shit,” by the end i fail to stay serious and let out a giggle. well, it’s not like he actually believed that i meant what i was saying but still.
he lets go of everything he was holding, turns around to me fully and begins to stalk toward me slowly.
“oh yeah?” i don’t know if it’s just me or if he’s doing it on purpose but all of a sudden his voice sounds deeper, his face more stern and serious.
“is that what you think then? i’m just a piece of shit?” he makes me nervous at first but the second i see the smirk on his lips i know exactly what’s about to follow.
“chris. no.”
he is standing right in front of me, so close he has positioned himself in between my legs, his hands on the counter on either side of me, trapping me. the finger i was pointing at him long since taken back.
“am i a piece of shit when i make you cum with just my tongue?” his face is so close now.
“stop,” i say quieter than i mean to, almost whisper-like.
“or when i fuck you so good you can’t walk right for days, am i a piece of shit then?”
this asshole is doing it on purpose. he knows i would never have sex with him when i’m sick so he’s trying to rile me up the little fucker. have i mentioned that i actually hate him. like for real hate him. the type of hate that leads to an absolutely mindblowing fuck. shit.
“or yesterday when you told matt you needed a break and came downstairs to my room to suck me off and then you just wiped your mouth and went back up like nothing happened. did you do it because i’m a piece of shit?”
my jaw is on the floor.
“or when–”
“OKAY,” i practically scream, “you’re the best and i didn’t mean what i said, just please stop.”
i’m almost whining at this point.
i try to rub my legs together to ease some of the friction unnoticeably but chris is like a hawk, sees everything, notices everything. and then he smiles. just smiles and goes back to the soup.
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later that night, after i was forced to eat almost all of the soup and drink two cups of magic tea while chris downed a cheese burger, fries and three of the last four pepsi cans i had in my fridge, we snuggled up on the couch with a heavy blanket that chris had also asked his mom for, thrown over both of our laps and a random movie playing on the tv. 
neither one of us actually felt like watching something but we threw it on as background noise anyway. chris and i have barely seen each other in almost two weeks so all we want right now is to enjoy each other's company. he has been so busy with all that’s coming up for him and his brothers, still is. and i've been studying like crazy because i always feel like i won’t pass if i don’t and when i wasn’t busy with that i’d be at work to earn my living and feel like i’m doing enough. so there wasn't really time for us to actually be together and get to enjoy it. i've missed it.
“you know you’re probably sick because you exhaust yourself all the time,” chris says when he turns to look at me.
“shh,” i shush him with my eyes closed and a smile on my lips, “i got it from matt, no discussion.”
he lets out a little laugh at that, “yes discussion. if you keep going like that, one day it’s gonna have more serious effects on your health than a cold. you don’t even need to do all that. how many times do i have to tell you your life is worth enough even if you don’t work yourself half to death and have a little fun every once in a while,” he rubs my thigh while talking. chris knows better than anyone that i don’t like being put on the spot and lectured about my not-so-healthy habits like that, especially when i know exactly that it’s in fact very unhealthy. but he also insists on having these talks with me because he knows i would shut out everyone else who’d dare to try immediately. he and his brothers are the only three people i have let come so close and they make use of that quite often, might i say. but it’s okay because these people are my best friends and i know i need to be put in check sometimes, i admit. nobody else would dare try but them so i just let them. 
i must say, it has helped me improve my life to an extent. they taught me that it’s okay to cut ties with people who are bad for my mental health and encourage bad habits, and that i don’t owe shit to them even if they want to make me believe that. they kept telling me “quality friends are worth so much more than a big amount of bad ones” until it finally clicked in my brain and i blocked half of my contact list.
“look who’s talkin’. mister i work twice as hard as the person i try to lecture,” i jab my finger in his side and he jerks.
“you know that’s different,” he holds my hands in his to stop me from doing it again.
i like feeling his hands on mine. i know he’s my boyfriend and it might be weird to say it like that. but i haven’t seen him in so long, which means i also haven’t felt him in so long. it’s crazy but it almost feels like in the beginning when we were scared to touch each other and would act like we accidentally brushed our hand on the other but we both knew it was fully on purpose.
chris pulls me out of my thoughts again when he speaks, “at least i have an end in sight and work’s gonna be way more relaxed once i’m done with everything. with you there’s always–”
the ringing of his phone cuts him off and he takes a look at the caller id, his mom. he narrows his eyes at me and gives me a look that says “we’re not done yet” but picks up the phone and holds it up so she can see the both of us on the screen.
“i was going to ask chris about you but since you’re with him please pinch him for me,” is the first thing mary lou says when she looks at us. and i gladly do as she says even though i don't know what he did to deserve it.
“oww, what was that for?” chris asks whining and i just shrug and chuckle.
“you told me you would bring y/n the soup and go back home. you lied to me.”
i turn to him with my mouth hanging open, “christopher owen, how dare you?”
it’s so fun to aggravate chris.
he furrows his brows at me and then looks back at the screen, “she literally begged me,” he straight up lies. “i was trying to tell her i didn’t wanna get sick so i could only drop off the soup and blanket and would have to leave again but then she started crying–”
i hit him for real this time, hard enough to make him suck air through his teeth.
“mary lou, don’t believe a word he says.”
“i know, darling, you wouldn’t do that. chris, that’s twice you’ve lied today.”
“sorry, mom,” he actually looks defeated now, “you know i can’t just leave her all alone when she’s like this. i lied because i didn’t wanna worry you. i won’t get sick though,” at that me and her give each other a knowing look but let him continue, “y/n’s weak and in pain, of course i’ll be by her side as much as i can, you probably knew i was here, that’s why you called me,” chris wiggles his finger at his mom with a cheeky smile while she’s trying to hide her own.
“alright, alright,” she gives in, “that’s how young love is, i guess. anyway, have you eaten the soup yet?”
“almost all of it,” i report proudly, rubbing my stomach.
“only forced,” chris side-eyes me and i roll my eyes at him.
“and the tea?” mary lou just keeps going. well, i definitely know where her son gets the caring from.
i grab the mug that’s been sitting on the table for two hours and could now be considered iced tea and hold it up for her to see, “this is my third,” i take a sip.
“very good. okay, well, i just wanted to check if chris is taking good care of you. it’s important for you to get enough rest, don’t go to sleep too late, alright darling? i have to go now but if you need something just give me a call. i’ll talk to you both in the morning. good night, i love you,” she blows two kisses as we tell her we love her and then she ends the call.
right when chris puts his phone down we hear the doorbell ring.
we both glance at the direction of the front door as if we could see through it and figure out who’s standing on the other side. then we turn and look at each other.
“expecting someone?” chris asks me and i just shake my head no and shrug unknowingly.
“open up!” the voice sounds muffled but it’s unmistakably matt.
chris rolls his eyes and sighs loudly and i just giggle.
he moves the blanket and gets up to go open the door but stops in his tracks suddenly, turns around again, bends down and kisses me.
“won’t be able to do that for a while if he’s here,” he explains before he goes.
matt and nick do complain every time we kiss in front of them, so we agreed on trying not to do it anymore. they act like little kids being forced to see their parents being all lovey-dovey with each other. at least one of them always yells “GET A ROOM!” as if they’re not invading our personal space. big babies, like i said.
“what’s up, bitches?” nick walks in wearing the pajamas we wanted to match, holding up his hands. one holding what i assume is my set of the exact same one and a pillow in his other hand.
i jump up from the couch immediately and squeal as i run toward him to hug him.
“what are you doing here?” i ask once we let go of each other, our smiles still as big as ever.
“since chris is here breathing in germs and this one,” he points his thumb over his shoulder where matt is giving chris a pajama pair, “is already sick i thought we might as well have our movie night here since i’m getting it from one of you either way.”
“i’m so happy,” i squeak, elongating the words.
“aren’t you happy to see me too?” matt acts sad and offended when he moves to stand next to nick.
i roll my eyes but give him a big hug, “i am actually.”
chris scoffs and we all laugh. he moves to stand closer to me and i wrap my arms around him, tilting my head to look at him.
“you guys can go in the kitchen, grab some snacks while me and chris put on our pajamas,” i say to nick and matt, my eyes still locked on my boyfriend.
they do as they’re told once the’ve put down their things and soon enough they’re out of sight.
“you good?” chris asks me quietly, stroking my hair gently
“yeah. i just realized our alone time is over,” i respond in a hushed tone.
he gives me a kiss on the forehead before he talks, “it’s okay, we’ll just go up to your room when they’re asleep. nothing’s keeping me away from you tonight.”
hearing it makes comfort spread in my chest in a way i didn’t know i needed right now.
“i love you so much, chris. thank you for everything,” i try to sound genuine, because i truly am.
he holds my chin between his thumb and forefinger and dips his head until his lips meet mine.
“i love you too, ma.”
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stevie-petey · 4 months
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episode one: MADMAX
Steve is looking at Nancy so tenderly, and when he removes his sunglasses you see how much his eyes light up when she hits his shoulder and leans in close to him.  “I missed you,” Steve tells her, his voice soft and sensual.  It’s the way he says it that makes you want to run your hands through his hair, be the one in his arms as he kisses your neck and whispers how often he’s thought of you since you’ve been gone. You’ve felt his arms around you before, once. You know how securely he holds on, how his cologne lingers on your clothes long after he’s gone. You miss him, you miss everything. 
Summary: what does steve fear more ? you or the plague ? currently it's you, some guy with an awful mullet stares you down in the parking lot (gross), nancy invites you to a party from your nightmares, and you become an official unlicensed therapist for will. yay for junior year !
Rating: general, slight cursing
Warnings: fem!reader, use of y/n, descriptions of PTSD (slightly), swearing, and general angst and exhaustion
Words: 5.2k
Before you swing in: hello ! welcome back to the rewrite, hope yall are well :) heres chapter 1 of season 2 !!! so so so excited and ready to dive into this new season. things get a bit darker, feelings get even MORE complicated, and poor reader just really needs to take a fat nap and maybe some reassuring words. shes more angsty this season, so buckle up
-
October 29th, 1984
You originally gave Dustin the phone number to Bookstrordinary in case of any emergencies.
Now, you’re really starting to regret it.
For the fifth time this week, Dustin calls you at work to beg for money. Him and the boys recently started going to an arcade that’s opened up in town and have spent practically every day after school there this year. Sure, you don’t mind loaning your brother a few quarters, but at the rate he’s going he’s gonna drain your next paycheck.
Just as you’re thinking this, the phone rings.
Right on cue.
Alex, your coworker, smirks. “How much do you think he’ll ask for this time?”
“If I’m lucky, only a dollar.”
“Will asked me for three tonight, so I wouldn’t jinx anything.”
You gape at Jonathan, who has started hanging around your job after school just to have something to do. “No fucking way.”
“Way,” he laughs, pointing towards the phone on the counter. “Answer before Dustin sends a drone our way.”
You sigh and pick up the phone, which is on its second round of calling, and put on your best customer service voice. “You’ve reached Bookstrordinary, may I ask who is calling?”
“Don’t play dumb, Y/N.”
“Aw, I’m doing well tonight. Thanks for asking, Dustin.”
“I need five dollars.”
“Ya know, ‘please’ has such a nice ring to it.”
“... if I say please, will you give me the money?”
“No.”
Silence fills the other end. Alex and Jonathan are hunched together, trying to stifle their laughs. You send them a thumbs up, and they give you one back.
“You’re a horrible sister.”
“What!” You scoff at Dustin. “I think you owe me like, at least ten bucks now. Yet you don’t see me complaining.”
A loud groan, then an obnoxious scream. “I promise I’ll clean Mews’ litter box for a week straight if you just give me the money.”
“Tempting, and honestly I’d take you up on that offer, but I already spent my last paycheck on my Halloween costume. You’re outta luck.”
Dustin gasps. “You were gonna say no this whole time? You just wasted like, at least five minutes of my time! I could’ve been digging through the couch for coins by now!”
“Jesus,” you pull the phone away from your face as Dustin continues to shout. Jonathan lets out a loud cackle and Alex just shakes his head. “I can give you some money next week–”
The line cuts off. Dustin has hung up.
What a little shit.
“You remind me why I’m grateful I’m an only child.” Alex says, now walking from behind the counter to begin stacking some books. Technically your shift ended almost thirty minutes ago, but you and Jonathan prefer to hang around for a while. It’s rare to have some time with just the two of you (even if Alex is there as an unfortunate third wheel).
“Glad I can help.” You respond. Once he’s gone, you turn to Jonathan. “And you were right, Dustin indeed wanted more than Will’s measly three bucks.”
He laughs. “Figured as much. The look on your face was genuine disbelief when he asked.”
“Mhm, I’m scared these boys will turn into horrendous teens. The lack of gentlemen in Hawkins these days is astounding.”
“C’mon, I’d say I’m a gentleman. I mean, I’m riding on your bike pegs tonight to keep you safe.” Jonathan says, waving an arm in front of his body as if to present all his gentleman-ness to you.
“Sure, bee.” Although, he has a point. Joyce has the car tonight so she can drive Will to the arcade and Jonathan doesn’t like you biking home in the dark. After what happened last year, none of the Byers are particularly keen on letting their loved ones go off alone at night. So, to ensure your safety, Jonathan has started riding on your bike pegs all the way home.
It’s endearing really, wholly unnecessary, but endearing.
Jonathan flicks your nose. “Who else would be such a gentleman to you? Steve?”
Hearing Steve’s name sends a wave of varying emotions through you. Guilt, shame, remorse, longing. You miss him. You really, really miss him.
“I thought we agreed to stop talking about Steve.” You mumble, now busying yourself with a piece of paper on the counter.
After Will was found last year, you and Steve had gotten really close. He’d spend hours bugging you at work, he’d gotten you such a lovely Christmas gift that still hangs on your wall, and you’d grown close with him in a way you haven’t before with anyone else. He would’ve done anything for you, he cared about you with such genuineness, and you couldn’t handle it.
Summer came and the heat that came with it scared you.
You’d pushed Steve away, severed any connection you had to him. It was easier when you didn’t have to see him every day at school, but ever since junior year started, you’ve been in your own personal hell.
Steve walks past you in the halls without batting an eye. He doesn’t look your way, like the months you spent learning every inch of his wonderfully unique brain and the moles scattered along his face never happened; he doesn’t give you that smile that makes your knees weak. He’s avoided you like the fucking plague, which you can’t blame him for, but it’s only made things more awkward between him, Jonathan, Nancy, and you.
Jonathan sighs. “I’m sorry, bug. I just… he seemed good for you, ya know? I was actually starting to like the guy before you suddenly stopped hanging around him.”
You play with the piece of paper, hoping that if you don’t respond then Jonathan will just drop the subject, but a thought seems to cross his mind.
“Wait a minute. Steve didn’t like, hurt you or anything, right?” You don’t respond again and now he’s starting to get worried. “Y/N, I’m serious. Did he do something to you?”
The irony of the situation is so comical you want to laugh. Here Jonathan is, demanding to know if Steve hurt you and if that’s why you’ve stopped being his friend, when in reality it’d been Jonathan who hurt you. Jonathan, your oldest and dearest friend, is the reason you’re so fucking terrified of letting Steve in. Of falling in love with him.
You’re already in love with Jonathan, you can’t put yourself through any more hurt.
But fuck, you miss Steve. You’d come to rely on him and his obnoxious sense of humor that never failed to make you laugh. The way he so effortlessly filled the room with warmth.
“Relax, bee. He didn’t do anything. I just wanted to focus on Will and the boys more.” You lie through your teeth.
He gives you a funny look. “I know you care about the boys, but you know they’d want you to have some other friends.”
“I have you, that’s all I need.”
It’s all I can afford.
“Bug, I’m worried about you. You’ve all but thrown yourself into school, you work non stop here, and when you finally have some free time you’re spending it researching child psych for Will–”
“Just drop it, Jonathan!” You finally snap at your friend.
He stops, surprised by your outburst. He can see the angry flush in your cheeks now and the slight heavy breathing you do to try and calm yourself down. Jonathan drops his shoulders, defeated. He’s been worried about you ever since junior year started. You’re more withdrawn, you look like you haven’t slept at all, and now you don’t even feel comfortable telling him what’s been bothering you.
All Jonathan knows is that one day you were glowing while telling him a story about Steve and his stupid jokes, then the next day you looked frail and sickly as you told him that Steve was no longer visiting you at work.
Something happened between you two, he’s just not sure what or how to even help.
For once, Jonathan is at a loss.
“And then she chased Mike all the way down the street for her money! He got away!” Jonathan finishes his story with a grand flourish, laughing and hitting his steering wheel as if it’s the funniest thing in the world.
You let out a weak laugh, exhausted from the night before. It’s early morning and you’re in the school parking lot, hanging in Jonathan’s car as always, and you feel like utter shit. You stayed up late last night reading this journal you’d found in the school library about acute trauma in children. It had been fascinating and there were some things you thought could apply to Will. Before you knew it, it had been three in the morning and you needed to be up soon for school.
Which leads you to now: slouched in the passenger seat, sunglasses over your eyes to block out the annoying sun, tiredly listening to Jonathan’s recounting of his phone call with Nancy from last night. Apparently they’ve progressed to nightly phone calls now.
Lovely.
Without meaning to, your eyes start to drift shut. The car is the perfect cozy kind of warm and the late October air wraps around you as if to lull you to sleep. Jonathan notices you’ve gone quiet and pokes your cheek.
“If you fell asleep I’ll tell your mom and she’ll put you back on house arrest.”
You slap his hand away. “Don’t do that, then she’ll just ban me from your house.”
“You were up all night researching again, weren’t you.”
“If you have to ask, then that’s probably your answer.”
“Y/N–”
You put a finger up, using your other hand to rub at your temples. A headache is forming and you’re three seconds away from just skipping first period to nap in the car. “We aren’t doing this again. Drop it.”
Jonathan rolls his eyes. “I’m your best friend, it’s my job to worry about you–”
“And it’s my job to tell you to fuck off whenever you’re getting on my nerves–”
Suddenly a loud blue camaro comes speeding into the school parking lot, effectively drowning out whatever you’d been saying to Jonathan. The car revs its engine and almost hits a few students as it jerks its tires and then screeches to a halt, parking right next to you guys.
You and Jonathan look at each other.
“What the fuck?” You look out your window and are greeted with the sight of an attractive blond guy staring at you. His music is blasting so loud you can hear it through Jonathan’s windows.
“Jonathan,” you whisper, getting his attention. “Am I really tired or is there a guy with a god awful mullet staring at me right now?”
“He’s real.”
“Cool.” You continue to stare at the guy, unsure what to do. You’ve never seen him before, there’s no way you’d forget a face like that in Hawkins. He’s attractive, almost unappealingly attractive, and there’s a coldness to his beauty that makes you uncomfortable. He looks dangerous, like he knows how much power his beauty brings him.
The boy winks at you, a lit cigarette dangling from his mouth, and then gets out of the car, slamming his door rather harshly. It’s then that you notice the redhead girl, much younger than him, possibly around Dustin’s age, getting out of the car as well. She slams her own door and doesn’t even spare the guy a glance as she drops her skateboard down and rides towards the middle school across the parking lot.
Meanwhile the boy saunters inside, a lazy pace in his step that also holds immense confidence. He’s cocky, cool and collected, and he takes one last look around, as if to survey his new claimed battleground. You notice a few of your classmates gazing at him with interest, which you don’t really understand. He’s hot, but his attitude alone tells you everything you need to know about him.
Once he’s gone, Jonathan finally speaks. “Who was that guy?”
“No clue,” your eyes linger on the doors he’s just walked through. There’s something off about him. “But I don’t think we want to know… C’mon, if we don’t head in now we’ll be late for our first class.”
During your lunch period everyone’s buzzing about some upcoming Halloween party. As you’re walking towards your locker with Jonathan, you notice a few pieces of orange paper being passed around. You don’t pay much attention to them, but when Nancy joins you two she eagerly takes a few from the girl passing them out.
Nancy playfully shoves the papers at you and Jonathan. “You guys are totally coming to this.”
“We are?” You ask, eyeing the flyer wearily. You have nothing against parties, but the thought of being surrounded by a bunch of drunk teenagers in horrible costumes is frankly terrifying to you.
“You sure are, Y/N.”
“But Nancy–”
“‘Come and get sheet faced’.” Jonathan reads aloud. “Yeah, Nance. I think we’ll pass.”
Nancy groans. “I can’t let you guys sit all alone on Halloween. That’s just not acceptable.”
“Actually,” you correct her, annoyed by the assumption, “we have a tradition with the boys. We take them out every year to trick or treat and it’s always been fun. We won’t be ‘alone’.”
“No offense, Y/N, but spending Halloween with a bunch of middle schoolers isn’t much better.”
You make a face and look over at Jonathan for help, but he shrugs. “You gotta admit, it is kinda lame.”
“I can’t believe you’d betray me like this–”
Nancy smiles at this. “See? Plus, I doubt trick or treating with the boys will take all night. You’ll be home by 8:00, and Jonathan will be listening to the Talking Heads and reading Vonnegut or something, while you, my dear Y/N, will be baking a fresh batch of cookies and throwing away all the candy corn you find.”
“Sounds like a nice night.” Jonathan responds, and you nudge your shoulder with his. It does sound like a nice night, one you’re looking forward to.
“I forgive you for your earlier betrayal.”
“Guys!” Nancy stops at her locker now, slight frustration in her voice. “Just… Come on! I mean, who knows? You guys might meet someone and–”
Her words are cut off with a squeal as she’s suddenly lifted in the air and spun around, Steve having snuck up behind her. Nancy now puts all her attention on him, he has his arms wrapped low on her waist and he’s wearing sunglasses inside like some idiot, and your heart hurts. He looks good, too good.
Steve is looking at Nancy so tenderly, and when he removes his sunglasses you see how much his eyes light up when she hits his shoulder and leans in close to him.
“I missed you,” Steve tells her, his voice soft and sensual.
It’s the way he says it that makes you want to run your hands through his hair, be the one in his arms as he kisses your neck and whispers how often he’s thought of you since you’ve been gone. You’ve felt his arms around you before, once. You know how securely he holds on, how his cologne lingers on your clothes long after he’s gone. You miss him, you miss everything.
Steve, as if sensing what you’re thinking, risks a look at you. Your eyes meet his and for a brief second no one else exists anymore. It’s just you and him in the small Hawkins high school hallway, where he’s yours again in a way that’s clouded with “almost” and “not enough”, and you want to tell him how lovely he is and how horrible you feel for hurting him, but then he diverts his gaze and focuses back on Nancy and you’re thrown back into reality.
He isn’t yours. Hell, he isn’t even your friend anymore, and you’re the one to blame.
Once Nancy and Steve start kissing, you share a disgusted look with Jonathan and silently agree to leave.
“Young love, huh?” Jonathan jokes bitterly when you’ve left them behind.
“I hate it.”
And you do.
You’re really starting to hate this whole “love” thing.
The only highlight so far this school year has been you and Will growing even closer. When Jonathan told you that Will started seeing the Hawkins Lab people for treatment and to see how he’s been recovering, you pulled Joyce aside later that night to ask if it’d be okay if you spoke with Will yourself. Since everything that happened last year, you’ve only become more interested in psychology, and you’d be lying if you said Will wasn’t an interesting case study.
You told Joyce that you’d been doing your own research, reading journals upon journals, and she made you a deal. You could help Will as long as you also took care of yourself, that you wouldn’t place an even heavier burden upon yourself. Of course you agreed, promising her you wouldn’t, and that’s how your weekly chats with Will began.
Jonathan had been against it at first, telling you that you didn’t have to worry about Will because you already do everything else for the kids. You told him you could handle it, and secretly you liked helping Will because you were able to pour all your anxiety and complex feelings for Steve into research and studying. It was a win-win in your eyes.
Meanwhile, Mrs. Waters had been extremely understanding when you asked for Wednesdays off. After all, you’d been working at Bookstrordinary for almost three years now, so she was quick to make the accommodation.
Now here you are, another Wednesday spent at the Byers’ home. You’re sitting with Will in his bed, the both of you quietly scribbling with his crayons. You’ve learned that he’s more receptive if you draw with him, if you take your time.
“How was Dr. Owens today?”
Will pauses mid-scribble. “Fine.”
“Just ‘fine’? Nothing else?” Your head is down so he doesn’t think you’re studying his reactions, but you keep an eye on him anyways.
“Yeah. I told him about my latest episode.”
“You had another one? Would you like to tell me when?”
Will thinks for a moment, and you tell him that he of course doesn’t have to say anything if he doesn’t want to.
“Last night. I was back in the Upside Down… and there was this… this thing.”
Now you stop drawing. “Like the monster we killed last year?”
“Different,” he shakes his head. “This thing was evil.”
Will’s eyes are darting everywhere around the room, and you can see his growing unease, so you decide to put the topic to rest for now. Clearly the episodes are getting worse, scaring him more, so you shift gears.
“Okay, I believe you. I’m sorry for the episodes, but besides them how have you been feeling? Is school getting any better?” Earlier this month Will had confessed to you about the kids in school calling him “zombie boy” and treating him like a freak. You did your best to comfort him, and once you finished your chat with the boy you’d gone to Joyce to let her know.
Will sighs. “School is… school.”
You reach out and move some hair out of Will’s face. “I’m sorry, little bee. Middle schoolers are idiots, they’ll never understand how much you went through. I mean, I had to face that monster for only about twenty minutes. You had to hide from it for days, so you’re honestly incredibly braver than me.”
This gets a smile out of Will, which you’re relieved by. He’s been quiet lately, more closed off, and you’re worried that with the one year anniversary coming up, his episodes will only get worse.
A knock on the door, and then Jonathan pokes his head in. “Hey, guys. Mind if I join?”
“Actually, I think I should go. Bob’s been begging me for my cookie recipe, so I’ll leave you two alone.” You send a look Will’s way, a you better talk to your brother about this look, and he weakly nods his head.
As you walk past Jonathan out the door, you lean in close to Jonathan and whisper, “he’s struggling at school. Be gentle, kids can be fucking awful.”
He nods and squeezes your hand, silently thanking you, and you close the door behind you. While you want to help Will, make sure he’s adapting well, you also recognize your limits. He’s not your brother, Jonathan is, and you know he’ll be more open with him.
Joyce is in the kitchen with Bob, making some popcorn over the stove. He’s filming her with his ridiculously large camera and you can’t help but smile as you watch them. Joyce looks so happy around the guy, laughing more than she’s laughed in the last five or so years you’ve known her. She deserves this, she deserves a guy like Bob. Sweet, slightly silly, but good.
When Joyce sees you lingering in the doorway, she waves you in. “Hey, honey. Any luck with Will tonight?”
“A bit, he told me some of what’s happening at school. He still seems… off, but at least he was opening up. It’s a good sign.”
Joyce hums, but you can sense that there’s more on her mind. You look around to make sure Bob isn’t near, he’s busy digging through a cabinet to find a clean bowl, so you move closer to the woman and lower your voice. “What did Dr. Owens say this time?”
“Claims we need to just pretend everything is okay, despite the fact that it’s getting worse.”
There’s an edge in Joyce’s voice, so you’re careful with your words. “Well… I think he’s right.”
“You do?” Joyce turns to you, her voice loud with surprise, before she quickly remembers Bob is near and lowers it again. “Why do you think that?”
“I was up late reading a new journal I found about acute trauma in children. It’s been almost a year since Will disappeared, he spent days in complete fear, almost died… I mean, it makes sense that his body is remembering those traumatic effects.”
“So you think we should just leave Will alone, let him suffer through his episodes without any help?” There’s more confusion and fear than anger in Joyce’s voice, and you rest your hand against her arm.
“I know it seems counterintuitive, but the best studies we have all show that we have to let those who suffer from post-traumatic stress adapt at their own pace, through their own ways. They hate feeling pitied, and I have a feeling Will is starting to as well.”
Joyce turns the stove off and shakes her head at you. “You sound like Hop. I thought you hated the guy.”
“I don’t hate him,” you chuckle, now helping the woman peel off the foil and sprinkle some salt onto the popcorn. “He just reminds me too much of my dad, and we all know how that ends.”
“Well if you ask me, I think it’s because you two are so similar.”
You gasp. “How dare you!”
Joyce laughs and the seriousness from the previous conversation dissipates. Bob finds a clean bowl and together you and him pour the fresh popcorn in as Joyce prepares the drinks. They’re having a movie night together, and you want to cry because of how adorable it all is. Joyce deserves this.
“You know you’re welcome to join us tonight, Y/N. It’s Will’s turn to choose the movie.” Joyce tells you, but you politely decline.
“Normally I’d love to, but I should get going. I have some homework and I promised Dustin I’d bake him some Halloween treats.”
“Oh!” Bob turns to you. “Speaking of, you promised you’d give me that recipe of yours!”
You and Joyce share an amused look. “You caught me, I did. I’ll write it down right now and you have to swear that no one else will look at this. Deal?”
Bob nods, ecstatic, and you grab a piece of paper and quickly scribble down all the ingredients he’ll need and how to make the cookies. Joyce watches fondly, and you fill with warmth having pleased her. When you’re done, you hand the paper over to Bob and make him cross his heart, just to be extra sure he won’t reveal all your secrets.
“Scout’s honor!”
“Very good then, soldier.” You salute him, and then pull Joyce into a hug. “I really gotta go now. Can you tell Jonathan I said goodbye?”
“Of course, bike home safe, alright?”
You wink at her. “Scout’s honor.”
Bob lets out a loud cackle and you can’t believe that this guy is real, but Joyce is laughing along with him and you’re pleased she’s found someone as endearing and kind as him.
As soon as you get home you throw down your backpack and bunker down at the kitchen table. Your mom isn’t back from work yet and Dustin seems to be off somewhere doing god knows what, so it’s just you and Mews for now.
Mews plops herself on the table next to an essay you’ve been working on and you scratch her head as you work. You get lost in your writing, humming softly to yourself, enjoying this small moment of peace.
You won’t admit this to Jonathan, but he’s right. You’ve been overworking yourself, your body aches and your eyes droop with exhaustion almost every day now. But keeping yourself busy is what’s helping you stay afloat. The more you pile onto yourself, the less time you have to think about Steve and his stupid smile and stupid hair and stupid face.
In the middle of one of your sentences, Dustin flings the front door open and scares you. “Jesus, dude!”
He doesn’t spare you a glance, but when he sees Mews on the table with you he suddenly looks a bit alarmed. “Mews is here?”
“Yeah…? She’s helping me with this english essay.” You respond, confused.
“Huh,” Dustin thinks for a second, but seems to shrug it off. “Anyways, I’m home.”
“I can see that.”
“Are you gonna ask about my day?”
“How was your day, my dear brother.”
Dustin hops onto the table and shimmies his shoulders. “I met a girl.”
“What?” You drop your pencil in shock and Mews scatters, your exclaim having frightened her.
“Don’t act too surprised, geesh.” Your brother rolls his eyes, but then he frowns. “Actually, technically speaking I haven’t met her yet, but–”
“You have a crush?” You’re in shock. In your eyes, Dustin is still a baby, no older than six years old. And yet here is he, thirteen and talking to you about a girl.
“Yes, Y/N. Her name is Max, she has red hair and is new, and she’s totally awesome.”
Red hair? You remember seeing that girl in the parking lot earlier today. “Was she with that weird new guy, the one with a mullet?”
Dustin nods, so you poke him in the stomach and ooh at him. “I saw her this morning, she was prettyyyy.”
He shoves your finger away and blushes, which you find adorable. Dustin’s first ever crush, you can’t believe how old he is now.
“Yeah, she’s pretty, but she’s also just awesome. I think she’s the one with the new high score on Dig Dug.”
“Dig Dug?”
Your brother scoffs. “The arcade game the party always plays? Honestly, do you not listen when I tell you about my days?”
“Alright, fine. If you can remember what I told you I did yesterday, then I’ll apologize for not listening better.”
Dustin closes his mouth, unable to recall a thing.
“Mhm, that’s what I thought.” You flick his hat. “Anyways, since you officially like girls now, I’ve been dying to give you some girl advice.”
“Y/N–” Dustin groans, but you shush him.
“First things first, always be a gentleman. Max does indeed seem cool, but I’m sure she’d appreciate a nice and polite young man like yourself.”
Dustin nods. “Okay, be kind. Got it.”
“Good. Now secondly, we Hendersons are charming people, so just be yourself.”
“Duh,”
“Lastly, if she shows interest, tell her how you feel. Better you’re honest and true about how you feel rather than hide it and sulk.”
Dustin snorts. “Says you.”
You look away from him, slightly hurt. “I don’t know what you mean by that.”
“C’mon, Y/N. When are you gonna tell Jonathan you love him? I mean, everyone knows you do, it’s about time you confess.” Dustin drones on, unaware of your hurt feelings. “And he’s obviously in love with you, you guys are disgusting to be around–”
“He doesn’t love me back.” You whisper, looking down at your paper. You feel pathetic, confessing this to your little brother.
Dustin freezes, now realizing you’ve gone quiet. He can feel your mood darken and he feels like shit for not noticing it sooner. He’s upset you. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I thought he did, I mean the party and I all assumed…”
His words fade off, and you want to crawl into a hole and never come out. It’s embarrassing, you shouldn’t be pitied like this by your brother. “It’s okay, I know what you meant.”
“Y/N–”
You get up from the table and gather your things, shoving them into your backpack. “I’m gonna finish up this essay in my room, then I promise I’ll start baking those marshmallow puffs you like–”
Dustin jumps down from the table and blocks you from leaving the kitchen. “Jonathan is an ass–”
“Language–”
He doesn’t let you interrupt. “You’re cool, he’s stupid, and I’m here for you. Alright? Don’t make me pull a code blue on you.”
You wrap your brother into your arms, something he hadn’t been expecting, and allow yourself a small laugh. “No need for a code blue, I promise. Just, give me like an hour to sulk and then I’ll be as good as new. Okay?”
When you pull away, Dustin eyes you, but understands he won’t win this argument. The two of you handle your emotions the same way: alone, in solitude, away from prying eyes. He knows you just need some time to yourself, but he still feels like a jerk for upsetting you in the first place. “Fine, but if you’re sulking later I’ll flick your nose.”
You flick his nose and then quickly flee to your room, Dustin not far behind you. “Flicked you first!”
“Not fair!”
You slam your bedroom door and giggle as you lock it. Dustin bangs on the door, but you can hear the amusement in his voice. You tell him you’ll be out as soon as you’re done with your essay, and then go and sit down at your desk. Sighing, you dig into your bag and pull out what you need. Without meaning to, you look up and see your Spider-Man poster, your wonderful Christmas gift from Steve, hanging in front of you.
The small joy you’d been feeling vanishes.
The poster stares back at you, you can almost hear it calling you a pathetic coward, and you feel guilt claw at your throat. You close your eyes, remembering the cold from that winter day, and you can almost smell the cologne Steve had been wearing when you’d thrown yourself into his warmth. Sometimes, if you sit still enough, you think you can feel the ghost of his embrace.
You open your eyes.
Steve isn’t here.
Of course he isn’t here.
You exhale, feeling the familiar ache and exhaustion within you; junior year is looking quite grim.
-
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harryslittlefreakk · 5 months
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little angel
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the pact extra but can be read on its own 🫶🏼
summary: a little drabble of needy y/n and dad!rry goodness
warnings: pregnancy talk, mostly fluff, slight smut
a/n: i’m dead at this couple 🥹 that’s all i can say
you can join my taglist here and find the rest of my writing here! enjoy xxx
“I want a baby,” Harry sighed, pulling you close to his chest. “Harry-” you started, wriggling in his grip as you tried to face him. “No I know, s’not much more we can do. Just wanted to say it in case the universe is listening.”
“Yeah, but-”
“The universe doesn’t listen, I know what you’re gonna say.”
You finally broke free of his grasp, turning around to look at him. “Shut up for one minute and listen. I’m late.”
“Where you going?” he asked, brows furrowed as he tried to remember any plans you’d told him about. “Christ,” you rolled your eyes, laughing at his response. “Late for my period,” you explained, watching the gears turn in his head.
“Really?” he gasped, fingers trailing up your back. “Yeah, like a week. I don’t know though, I don’t feel like this is our time.”
“You wanna find out?” he asked, padding towards the bathroom. You’d kept a stash of tests since the beginning of your relationship, preferring to be able to test for your peace of mind rather than have to rush out to the store in a frenzy if you were ever late. You’d never actually had to use one, getting your period right on time every month until now. Though you knew Harry was desperate to be a dad, you’d never really been properly trying. You hadn’t tracked your ovulation or waited for the little blue cross every month. You’d seen the toll that it had taken on your friends relationships and didn’t want your sex life with Harry to turn into a means to an end.
You cuddled into him as you set the little stick down, the end of the three minute wait feeling a lifetime away. “You okay?” he murmured against your hair, rubbing a hand over your lower back. “I’m a bit scared, H,” you whispered. You were scared. Your relationship had been a whirlwind, only two years now since you reconnected, and you weren’t sure you were ready to sacrifice your time alone with Harry just yet. But if you were to ever have a baby, now was the right time. Your workload was looking light for the next year or so, and Harry wasn’t planning a tour any time soon. And most of all, you were worried you’d let him down. He’d been waiting so long for a baby, taking everything at your pace and waiting for you to want it as much as he did. Which you did, but you also knew that it was your life that would have to totally change, your body that would suffer through the strain of growing a new life. Harry would give parenting his all, and you’d always known he’d be an incredible dad, it just wasn’t the same as what being a mum would entail.
“S’a big thing, darling.”
“Don’t want to disappoint you if I’m not, Harry,” you told him, your fear turning to tears in your eyes. “Never, baby. You’ll never disappoint me.” He pressed a kiss to the top of your head as you sighed against him, anxiously checking your phone to see how long had passed. It had almost been three minutes, so you slipped your phone back in your pocket and looked up at him, urging him wordlessly to look at the test. “If it doesn’t show it by now then…” your voice trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.
“Y’ready?” he asked, stepping towards the windowsill as you sat down on the edge of the bath. You nodded, heart caught in your throat. He turned it over, and even from where you were sitting you could see it. The brightest blue cross, an unmistakable answer. Harry was frozen in place, hands shaking as he stared down at the test. You’d thought about this moment so many times, imagining how you’d feel and react. But seeing the positive result in front of you, knowing there were the tiny beginnings of a life inside of you, everything you’d imagined went out the window. All you could feel was the rush of nervous excitement, your previous fears disappeared in place of those tiny blue lines.
Harry turned to you with tears in his eyes, a great big grin spread across his face. “A baby,” he whispered, pulling you up into his arms. “A baby,” you replied, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips.
“Please, Harry,” you begged, shuffling behind him. You’d been practically rabid for a few months now, the tables turning on which one of you was totally insatiable. Your pregnancy hadn’t come with many symptoms, except the exhaustion and the constant ache in your core. You needed more of your husband, needed him in a way that would only be cured if he could climb inside of your skin. “You really want me to cancel this interview for you?”
“You would if you loved me,” you whined. “I can’t, kitten. Just give me half an hour and I’ll show you how much I love you.”
“I don’t have half an hour, H,” you pleaded, tugging at the hem of his sweatshirt.
“Come on then, I can give you five minutes.”
Harry lead you over to the sofa in the corner of his office, pulling your t-shirt up as you laid down, a satisfied smile tugging at the corner of your lips. He ran a hand over the gentle curve of your growing belly, pressing delicate kisses to your skin before slipping a hand inside your panties, pleased to find your folds already soaked for him. “Needed me so bad, huh?” he smirked, slipping a finger straight into you. You whimpered at his touch, pleasure so built up inside of you that you could have came right there. With only five minutes to get you where you needed, Harry went right into tickling at your sweet spot. He’d been so good at accommodating your every need, dropping whatever he was doing to give you whatever you wanted, whether that be his touch or simply his closeness.
His thumb brushed against your clit, sending your back arching off the soft velvet as you gasped for breath. You could feel the knot in your core tightening, thighs clamping together around his hand. “Come, sweet girl,” he urged, rubbing circles against your button as his fingers fucked in and out of you. You cried out as a buzzing spread through your body, your orgasm ripping through you.
His hand slowed down as he rode you through your high, satisfied in giving you exactly what you craved. Harry pulled the knitted throw over you as your eyes fluttered, pressing a kiss to your forehead. He pulled his desk chair over to stay next to you, tangling one hand in yours while he set up his laptop on his knees.
“What do you want to be called, huh?” you wondered aloud, fingers dancing across your bump.
“Stevie,” Harry replied, looking up from his spot on the floor. He was surrounded by pieces of wood and tools, desperate to get the crib built by the end of the day. “Not Stevie,” you laughed. “Stevie Styles is a ridiculous name.”
“It’s a great name.”
“It’s a pornstar name, do you want your daughter to have a pornstar name?”
“It’s a strong name.”
“What if she has a lisp? Thtevie Thtyleth.”
“Then you come up with something better.”
“What about something Italian?” you asked, pulling up a list of names on your phone. It was something you’d thought about a lot since your summer in Italy, loving the delicate nature of the names. “Alessia, Lucia, Emilia,” you listed off, imagining each name attached to your little girl. “I like Alessia,” Harry mused, standing up to pad over to where you were perched on the bed. “Show your mama what you like, little angel,” he spoke softly to your bump, one hand splayed across its curve. She kicked lightly against his palm, her tiny feet always dancing to the hum of her dad’s voice. “I think she likes Alessia,” you laughed, the sensation of her moving not one you think you’d ever get used to. “It needs something else though, Alessia Styles isn’t quite there.”
“Noelle,” Harry murmured against your neck. “She will be a little Christmas baby after all,” he added, glancing over at the foliage garland on your mantle. “Alessia Noelle,” you repeated, placing a hand over his. “I like that, H,” you smiled. He hummed against your skin, peppering delicate kisses on every part of skin his mouth could reach.
“I can’t do it, H,” you whined, pacing the length of the room. “You can, baby. It’s so close now,” he told you, fluffing up the pillows on your bed. He held his hands out to you, helping you to lay back down. “You can’t pace her out of you, no matter how hard you try. I’m gonna call the doctor back in, okay? Then we can meet our little girl.” Harry smoothed his hand over your hair, waiting for your nod before he pulled away.
You were physically prepared to meet your little angel, but the mental preparedness was something else altogether. You’d been patiently waiting for your new arrival for nine long months, but now that you were faced with the final hurdle you suddenly felt totally incapable of having a new life in your hands. Someone to shape and raise, to grow with as much love and care as you had over the last months.
You’d been fully dilated for a while now, ready to push before you’d had a little freak out. Now you were back in the bed, back flush against the cold sheet. Harry had your hands in his, eyes locked on yours to keep you calm. “Jus’ have to focus on me, okay kitten?” You nodded, bracing for the next contraction.
Pushing was one of the hardest things you think you’d ever do. You’d read the books, seen the movies, spoken to your mum and Anne so many times and yet you still weren’t prepared for how hard it would be on your body. It was a full body exercise, every single muscle tensed as you got closer to meeting your baby girl. Until finally you heard that strangled cry, the tiny gasp falling from Harry’s lips, the blur of movement before she was placed on your chest. Your body finally relaxed, content as you wrapped her in your arms. It felt like hours had passed since you laid back in the bed, though looking at the clock you knew it had been just shy of fifty minutes.
Harry took her in his arms as you sunk into the pillows, exhaustion taking over you. Fatherhood looked good on him. A muslin draped over his shoulder, sweatshirt damp with your sweat and tears. He looked totally frazzled, in the best way. Cheeks flushed from his heart exploding within him, love-drunk as he stared down at your little angel, her tiny fingers clenched around his ring.
“I want another one,” Harry cooed, totally smitten with the tiny girl laying in his arms.
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goldenwilliamson · 5 months
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patience | leah williamson
pairing: leah williamson x reader
a/n: finally some smut on this blog, hoorah. some short fluffy smut bc leah looked way too good in that suit and i'm craving someone to strap me down rn, so here we go...
summary: SMUT 18+, reader is waiting at home while leah is at an award show, but she is watching on tv and sees how good leah looks and gets rather impatient. when leah gets home she makes it worth the wait. top!leah and strap ons.
word count: 1.8k
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You watched the TV in awe when you saw your girlfriend step into view of the camera for the first time. She'd showed off her suit to you on its hanger months ago, but seeing her wearing it was a different experience entirely. She had paired it with a tie, which was new, and it was working for you.
As soon as you caught a glimpse of her, your impatience kicked in. You sent her a text immediately telling her how good she looks and how as much as you love the suit, you can't wait to take it off her as soon as she arrives home.
It was interesting for you, being Leah's girlfriend. Even though you were a well-known footballer in your own right, Leah was England captain, and was invited to many events all over the UK for her service to the Lionesses.
While you and Leah don't keep your relationship a secret, you're certainly very private when it comes to sharing your lives together. The two of you will walk a carpet together at events which you're both invited to, but you would prefer to let Leah do her own thing at events which she has been invited to on her own. Opting out of being the plus one means that you are often left to watch on from the sidelines, which you do with no complaints.
The fans are very attentive when it comes to analysing photo dumps on yours and Leah's instagrams, looking at each post closely for signs that you two were still together. You'd been together for years now, but people were always speculating about your relationship status, especially since Leah had become so well-known after the Euros.
Tonight was one of those nights where Leah was doing her own thing, invited to attend the award night for the BBC Sports Personality of the Year. You watched on the whole night and cheered for Mary when she won, knowing she was so deserving of an award like this. By the time the night was drawing to an end, you were starting to get tired, but Leah called you from the car on her way home which energised you.
'You're still awake for me?' She asked, her voice coming through deep and rough as she murmured through the phone.
'I am now,' you say, but Leah can hear the exhaustion in your voice.
'Mm,' Leah hums, 'I'll be home soon, but if you're tired you can go to sleep baby.'
'No,' you say immediately, pushing yourself to sit upright in your bed, 'I need to see you.'
Leah chuckles, making you smile, 'Good, because since you messaged earlier I haven't stopped thinking about what I'm going to do to you when I see you.'
'God,' you groan, already feeling the wetness pooling between your legs, 'How long will you be?'
'Only about 15 minutes, be patient for me love,' she says.
'Okay, I'll see you soon,' you say before exchanging quick love you's and hanging up.
It's an agonising 15 minutes to have to wait for your girlfriend to arrive home. You decide to make do with the time and slip your baby blue coloured lingerie set on that you know Leah loves, then you crawl back into the sheets and sit on your phone as you wait.
You can hear Leah's keys in the front door and her purposeful steps as she moves through the house, quickly towards your bedroom. You move so that you're laying on your side on top of the sheets, propped up on your elbow.
When Leah steps into the doorway, meeting your eyes with a smile, you shake your head. You can't believe how sexy she looks, how assertive and dominant this suit makes her appear. Even though you both have a dominant side, you can already sense that tonight you will do whatever Leah asks you to.
She has you stepping out of bed and reaching for her the second she enters the room.
'Sorry to keep you waiting,' Leah says quickly before you pull her close by the knot of her tie and press your lips against hers. She responds right away, holding you close by the back of your head and letting her other hand fall firmly on your waist, pushing you back towards the bed.
When the back of your legs hit the mattress you sit down, spreading your legs wide so Leah can stand between them. Your fingers find the buttons of her blazer, unbuttoning it. Leah shrugs it off her shoulders and lets the fabric fall to the floor.
You take in the sight before you, just Leah in some trousers, a white button up, and a tie.
'God, you look so good Lee,' you tell her, kissing her fabric covered stomach.
'Do you like the tie?' She asks, and you immediately take it with both hands, running it through your fingers.
'I love it. It's good for this,' you tug on it lightly, bringing Leah's face down towards you. She takes the opportunity to plant kisses down the side of your neck, and across your shoulder.
While Leah is still standing, you reach for her waistband, unbuttoning her trousers so they also fall to the floor, allowing her to step out of them. She's left in her top and tie as you wriggle back on the mattress, giving Leah room to join you on the bed.
However, instead of following you, Leah makes a move toward your wardrobe on the other side of the room.
'Where you going?' You ask, already knowing the answer.
'Gonna get something,' Leah says simply, and you know that she is going to get one of your toys out of the dresser.
'What are you thinking?' You ask curiously, but Leah doesn't respond. You just lay back on the mattress as you listen to her rifling through the drawer to find what she's looking for.
When you hear her moving around some more, you look up and see she is pulling on her strap. She has also removed the shirt and tie so she is just standing there wearing nothing but her bra and the strap. The air feels thick and your heart beats loudly in your ears. You can't think of much else at this stage besides how much you want to have Leah inside of you.
'Is this what you want darling?' She asks, sliding her hand up and down the length of the dildo as she steps closer to the bed.
You nod like an idiot, 'Yes.'
While a devilish smirk, she crawls up the mattress until she's hovering over you, leaning down to kiss you again. You hold onto her lower back, pulling her lower body close to you as you roll your hips upwards, begging for contact.
Leah leans close to your ear, biting down lightly on your earlobe before whispering, 'You want me to fuck you then?'
'God, please, yes,' you say, grabbing at the dildo and trying to steer it in the right direction.
'Take these off first,' Leah pulls back, releasing your grip and moving to slip your underwear down your legs.
When she moves closer again she dives her head down between your legs, kissing you around your entrance, and then finally pressing one kiss firmly against your clit, making you moan.
'Need you,' you groan.
'Mm,' Leah moans at the sound of your desperation, 'You've been such a good patient girl, waiting all night for me.'
As she says this, she runs the tip of the dick through your folds, listening to how wet you are.
'Too long,' you say, not wanting to wait a moment longer.
'I know, baby, but I'm here now,' she says, as she begins to press down into you.
As Leah rolls her hips deeper, your eyes squeeze shut while your mouth falls open, moaning in pleasure.
'Look at me,' she tells you, and you open your eyes to see her focused face.
You reach your hand up to where her eyebrows are firmly drawn together, and you run your thumb gently over the creases between her brow, giving her permission to relax into the moment.
'Serious face,' you say affectionately.
'Shhh,' she quiets your teasing with a kiss, moving her lips against yours rhythmically as she begins to slowly thrust into you.
Moans and words of affirmation roll off your tongue, and Leah relishes in the sound, wanting nothing more than to make you come.
She adopts the perfect pace and finds the right spot with ease, each thrust making you slip closer to your orgasm.
'You're such a good girl, taking it so well,' Leah praises you, turning you on even more.
'Feels so good,' you say, struggling to find any other words to say.
Leah continues her movements, not stopping for a second. Her eyes are trained on you, watching how you get lost in the feeling of pleasure taking over your entire body.
'Slow down,' you ask, knowing that some long, deep thrusts will get you to the edge.
Leah does as you ask, re-positioning herself so her forearm is digging into the mattress, propping her up. She uses her other arm to wrap around your thigh and open your legs wider, allowing her to sink deeper into you.
'Fuck!' You moan loudly.
'Are you going to come for me like this?' Leah asks.
'Yes,' you say, your head rolling back on the pillow as your hands grip tightly around Leah's torso, assisting her movement.
'My pretty girl, want to watch how you come on my cock,' Leah says, her words driving you closer to your high.
'Lee,' you moan, voice breathy, 'I'm so close.'
'Good girl, come for me now darling,' Leah says, and this time her words tip you over the edge.
Your back arches and the waves of pleasure roll over you as Leah continues to gently thrust into you, letting you ride out your full orgasm.
'Oh my god,' you sigh, opening your eyes to see Leah watching you with pure adoration. Slowly once your breathing has settled, she pulls out of you and sits back, taking the strap off her legs and discarding it to the floor.
'You're amazing,' you tell her, as she moves to lay herself down next to you, wrapping her arms around you and guiding your head to rest on her chest.
'I'm glad you think so,' she says, making you smile, pulling you slightly out of your dazed demeanour.
You exhale contentedly as Leah runs her hand up and down your arm thats slung over her body.
'So tired,' you say sleepily, your eyelids heavy.
'I bet you are,' she smiles proudly, 'You can go to sleep now baby.'
'Thanks for the good sex,' you say, your exhausted post-orgasm brain hardly even thinking through what you're saying, making Leah giggle.
She kisses your forehead and moves herself into a more comfortable position before she assures you, 'Anytime'.
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bountycancelled · 6 months
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how bada would handle being in public with her s/o
requested: yep!
genre + content: headcanons, gn!reader, me being delusional, lower case intended (I'm annoying, I know and im sorry), unedited because I can't be bothered
warnings: none i believe, just fluff!
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I still don't really understand the term, but I think I could describe a romantic relationship with bada as 'private but not a secret.'
she wouldn't want to keep you a secret, but she's also aware of the strife being in the public eye can cause, so how much/how little she reveals about the relationship is completely up to you.
and believe me, she tries so hard to keep her mouth shut about you, but sometimes it proves a bit too difficult.
hell, your relationship being revealed to the public was a complete and utter accident. bada was on instagram live as usual, and one of the comments had asked her for a tmi. she thought for a moment, before remembering that you had gifted her the very hoodie that she was wearing.
bada didn't even notice the comments going absolutely batshit at the mention of her having a partner, too focused on how much the hoodie smelled like you.
cue a now wide eyed bada watching a myriad of comments shocked at her statement fly in at lighting speed, as she slowly realises what she just said.
you bet your ass that she ended the live at that moment, entering to your shared apartment and flopping onto you immediately, squeezing any part of you that her hands could reach, she needed the comfort right now. when you ask her what happened, she begs you to promise to not get upset (which can't be promised but you do it anyway to ease her mind)
she realises a statement of sorts on her instagram, asking for the respect of her fans for your relationship and turns off her phone after posting it, cuddling with you and trying to sleep the day away.
from then on, you and bada start going out together more frequently, since you're no longer so well hidden anymore, you might as well enjoy this new found freedom. fans and paparazzi being outside of any location that bada is in is a given, but its still alot for you to take in.
bada always has a hand on you when you're out together, she just needs to know that you're close and that you're okay. whether it be a hand a hand on your waist or shoulders, a hand around your wrist or holding yours, it eases her. but she prefers you walking in front of her so she can have you in her vision also so she can check you out, two birds, one stone
call her a bit possessive (and you'd be correct) but she also likes when you wear something of hers over your outfit when you're in public, like a hoodie or a jacket.
as for interviews, she mentions you passively, usually by accident once again. but she will never take the bait if an interviewer tries to pry into the deeper parts of your relationship. she values intimacy with you far too much.
overall, your relationship is sacred to bada, and she earnestly tries to keep it under wraps as much as possible, although she may not be the best at that, since she also desperately wants to show you off. so basically, you get the best of both worlds.
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February 2
rating: T cw: period-typical slurs, mild violence prompt: Love is protection
The punch doesn't land. Michael stands frozen before him, arm raised to swing as they both turn towards the shout on instinct.
Eddie watches in slow motion as Steve Harrington sprints down the alley towards them as if summoned from Eddie's fantasies directly, determination on his face. The world returns to its regular speed as Steve reaches them.
Steve takes hold of Michael's arm at the same time Eddie feels himself stagger back several feet from where the new altercation is happening. It's not a conscious decision to put some space between himself and Michael, he's too busy watching Steve use his momentum to make Michael spin with him, or risk getting his arm broken, to think too much about what his body is doing.
Steve lets go of Michael suddenly, which sends him slamming into the wall of the bar Eddie and he had exited just minutes before.
"Come on!" Steve shouts, suddenly in front of Eddie and grabbing him by the wrist, dragging him down the alley until Eddie gets his feet under him and then they're both running. Steve takes a right, and even though Eddie's van is to the left, he follows. He can come back for the van and might actually prefer to. He doesn't want Michael to see what he drives.
They run a few blocks down before ducking into a different alleyway. It's not necessary, this much distance and the hiding. Michael wouldn't give chase. Eddie knew from experience that they rarely do, the men that don't like hearing no.
"Are you okay?" Steve asks, immediately assessing Eddie for damage. His shoulder kind of smarts from when Michael shoved him against the wall, there's a dull ache from his scalp where his hair had been yanked at, and he thinks if he takes off his jacket there will be a mark on his upper arm where Michael grabbed him when Eddie changed his mind and tried to leave, but physically that's it. Mentally, though?
Mentally, Steve just rescued him from a man that could be his twin, so that's got to be telling. Well, twin is a bit of a stretch. There were no moles dotting Michael like constellations, no signature hair swoop (though hair length was almost a perfect match), and his butt was far too flat but there's no way to deny he was a stand in for who Eddie actually wanted. Michael was even a jock, given what little Eddie and he had spoken about before heading outside to smoke, or so Eddie had thought.
So, all in all, is Eddie okay? No!
"Yeah. Yeah, fine," Eddie says.
"That guy threw you into the wall."
The adrenaline is fading, and shame replaces it. Why is Steve here? How much of what happened did he witness? "And I'm fine. Thanks for the assist, but what are you even doing here?"
Steve frowns at him. "I was- I just, just was checking in on you. You weren't answering the phone and Dustin was-"
"But how are you here!? How long have you been here?" Eddie interrupts, "how did you know where to find me?"
Steve takes a step back, puts a little distance between them. "I just drove around until I saw your van."
Eddie blinks at him. "You drove around Indy, searching for my van. How- what?"
"Yeah! And lucky I did," Steve says, like the idea of searching all of Indianapolis for one van isn't insane. "That guy was gonna kick your ass if I hadn't shown up!"
"He'd of gotten a few good punches in before I got away," Eddie waves off Steve's concern. "Not my first rodeo, Stevie."
"This happens often? Why do you keep coming back!?"
"Why does the faggot keep going to gay bars? Gee, I don't think we'll ever know, Steve," Eddie sneers, defensive for no reason. He hates that he does thing. That he lashes out at people just concerned for his safety. Steve just threw a guy into a wall for daring to try and punch him, why can't he just be grateful?
Steve scowls, "why're you being a dick to me? What the fuck did I do?"
Eddie lets out a sigh, "Nothing you don't usually do."
Steve throws up his hands and marches in a circle, apparently too frustrated for words and Eddie hates how smitten he is. It's adorable. Steve's anger is cute, and that's the problem. That's why he was at that bar, a gay bar, in the first place. To wallow in his unrequited love and maybe get off with a stranger he could pretend was Steve if he squinted and it was dark.
And now the man he is hopelessly in love with has come and saved him, once again; this time from a man who wanted something Eddie wasn't going to give in an alleyway at 3:30 in the afternoon, who didn't take "no" well, and everything had escalated from there.
"What do you want me to say, Steve? Thank you for protecting me? Thank you for always managing to show up exactly when I need you? If so, thank you!"
"Why does it bother you that I care if you're safe or not!"
"Because it's you!" Eddie screams.
Steve's eyes widen and his lips part in shock, a look that morphs into hurt. "I... see. I- let me walk you back to your van and I'll get outta your hair."
Eddie hates that he's hurt Steve, because he's an asshole that lashes out. He knows that whatever conclusion Steve's come to in his mind is wrong. He knows that Steve is blaming himself, trying to find out where he went wrong but he didn't. Eddie did.
"Not yet. Please. If Michael's still there I don't want him to see what car I get into. Y'know. Just in case." Eddie doesn't say it to get sympathy points, but he watches as Steve softens anyway.
"Yeah. Yeah, of course."
They wait in silence, and Eddie hates how tense it feels. But he made this bed.
-
Continued with tomorrow's prompt.
@steddielovemonth @nburkhardt @i-less-than-three-you @afewproblems @skepsiss
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harrysonlylover · 3 months
Text
Karma Rules (Mechanic Harry Part 6)
Summary: A phone call from Niall and its aftermath changes your perspective. Can a fairytale be fixed?
Warnings: alcoholism, drunk harry, over drinking, unhealthy coping, miscommunication, angst, mentions of alcohol abuse, hangover.
Please do not read if these trigger you.
Wc: 8k
A/n: Please keep in mind that this is just fan-fiction and some bits about the hangover may not be 100% true, as every individual is different than the other and deals with it in an another way.
Rereading part 5 is good for refreshing your mind!
This is also the final part!
Part 5
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When it came to receiving good and bad news, people generally preferred getting the bad news first so that the good ones would soothe them. You followed that preference as well, but you didn’t always have a choice.
Not when you moved away from home, not when your car broke down, not when you discovered the truth about your “job”.
And certainly not right now.
The phone was still pressed to your ear, Niall’s voice was coming out muffled and incoherent. Your heart was banging against your ribcage, and still, the blood barely reached your other organs. You couldn’t move, or put two and two together. Not even ask him what happened.
The room was suddenly dark despite the lit light bulbs in every corner, the clock necklace that you didn’t even get to thank Harry for was ticking around your neck. It was the only sound you could hear as if it was torturing you on purpose.
Tick tock.
A reminder that whatever happened to Harry was your fault. Maybe if you had stayed—
It wasn’t an ideal timing for your brain to taunt you and make you feel pathetic. Niall’s voice was calling for you, asking if you were listening but you were simply trying to pull yourself back to the present.
Your body fell against the sofa, and you dug your nails into the cushions. The clock was still piercing your ears because you could grab it right now and reverse it but you won’t go back in time to change whatever had happened.
What did he get himself into?
“Are you listening to me?” Niall’s panicked voice urged you to focus. You were obliged to ignore the nausea and the guilt your brain was throwing already. Because that’s how things went every time, you only needed a simple situation for your brain to torture you.
“Can you repeat what you said?” Your throat was as dry as the desert. You thought about standing up and getting a glass of water, but you’re not sure if your hands would be able to hold it.
“It’s Harry! He’s fucking drunk—way too drunk. He doesn’t drink Y/n, he hates alcohol.” His tone told you all you needed to know. It pained Niall to say it like he was on the verge of tears.
Was he talking about the same Harry that drank herbal teas and scolded your food choices? You were somewhat worried that he might have gotten into a car accident at a race, but he didn’t. So why does this feel worse?
“I—what?” It wasn’t the best you could say in a conversation like this, but it was better than the radio silence.
“Listen, he’s in a really bad state. He’s lucky that he’s a bit conscious.” He sighed, clearly worried about his friend.
It was nearly nine, not so late in the evening. For how long was he drinking to get to this state? You never saw him drink nor did he open the subject. Your legs moved before you processed what you were doing.
“I’m coming.” You spoke as you headed toward your bedroom.
“I didn’t want to stress you, and I know you’re wondering why I chose to call you but he’s been mumbling things about you.” You stopped in your tracks at his last sentence, your fingers placed at the light switch, too numb to move.
“What did he say?” You whispered in a shaky voice.
“I—don’t know, it was all weird and—“ His voice was cut off as his attention turned to Harry. He mentioned some things about drinking water and lying back. The last thing you expected was for Harry to speak.
“Did ya know that she smells like strawberries?” It took him longer to say the sentence than normal. It came out slurred with hiccups, and a small laugh.
“Shit—drink water H.” You could hear Niall pouring him a water cup.
“Sweeettt. Y/n is sweet.” Niall didn’t have to answer your previous question, you were witnessing it yourself.
It is said that a drunk mind speaks a sober heart, and that scared you more than it comforted you. Niall was trying to soothe Harry, and get him to have that cup of water but to no avail.
“I’m not nice. She deserves nice.” His words weren’t as coherent but you caught some stuff through the speaker as you put on a random jumper and sweatpants.
“I’m coming Niall.”
“You don’t have to—I’m here.” He moved away from Harry whose voice got distant but was still mumbling stuff.
“No, I’ll be there shortly.” You hung up before he could object.
It would take you around 15 minutes on your bike, normally you avoided going out when it was dark but you didn’t have any rational thoughts swimming in your head.
Your mind was consumed by him the entire road. Why would he do that? Just because you left? But again—you were no one to him. Just an employee. So why did he mention you and blurt out weird stuff?
He might have kissed you and let down his guard a couple of times but that didn’t mean anything, right?
It’s surely not a big deal, everyone probably knew that your hair smelled like strawberries, that you’re sweet, and deserved someone nice. Or did they not?
You had nothing in mind on what to expect, you didn’t even know what you were planning to do—but you weren’t going to sit around at home while he was in this state.
All the overthinking kept you busy until you reached his house. The little yellow home that reminded you of warmth, is now radiating coldness. You dreaded going inside, fearing what would be awaiting you.
Was it your fault? Did that mean that you mattered to him?
You got off your bike, grabbed your bag, and headed slowly towards the front door. Niall must have left the door slightly open for you, but before entering—something jumped at your legs.
You looked down to see an antsy Snowbun circling around your feet.
“What are you doing out here?” Per your knowledge, he should be asleep in his small bed by now. You picked him up and cradled him in your hands.
“Are you running away from Harry or Niall?” The latter was his sworn enemy. Snowy replied by twitching his ears, earning a smile from you.
“Let’s get inside, shall we?” You scratched the top of his head before turning the doorknob and entering.
The once vibrant house filled with music sounding from the record player, and the smell of home-cooked meals was now dull and cold. It could be the open windows allowing the night breeze to sneak in, or the absence of Harry’s energy.
Everything was a mess.
The living room was untidy, and there were broken shards of glass around the floor with the smell of whiskey lingering in the air.
It wasn’t necessarily dirty, but it somewhat reflected Harry’s state, as his house could mimic his inner feelings. Snow Bun jumped out of your hand and headed towards his bed in the corner.
For a hot minute, you thought that Niall left considering how empty the house felt, until you heard his voice coming from Harry’s room.
“Hey—just lay here.” Niall seemed like he was trying to convince Harry to rest. You sneaked a glance inside the room, only to find Harry attempting to get up and walk—towards you.
“Not dreaming.” He let out a small laugh upon seeing you.
Niall sent you a soft smile before directing his attention back to Harry.
You have never seen him in such a state. His face looked like he had aged a hundred years, his eyes were tired and hollow, and he was barely conscious.
You stood motionless, trying to process his situation, what he had done and most importantly why.
You wanted to step forward and assist Niall who was lifting him to the bed, but your body was stuck in its place. You have seen your fair share of situations and were always unaffected, but Harry had an unusual effect on you, and maybe—you did too.
“Shortcake.” He hiccuped again, accepting the cup of water this time. He took two sips only and rested his head against the headboard.
You were aware of his direct stares, but you didn’t speak or move. You bit your nails as Niall tucked him under the duvet. He was slowly dozing off by the minute, with less mumbling that you didn’t quite catch.
The room went silent except for the sound of crickets coming from the window. You stole a glance at Harry who sounded so relaxed while sleeping despite his disturbed state.
You let out a sigh of relief once you were sure that he slept, at least he would get some rest.
“How much did he drink?” You whispered to Niall with a scratchy voice.
“The whole fucking bottle.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and motioned for you to leave the room.
You closed the bedroom door and followed him into the living room. He began picking up the shards of glass, so you kneeled to help him.
“How did you know that he was drunk?” Niall was visibly upset with what went down, he was his close friend after all.
“I didn’t… I just happened to pass by. I haven’t heard from him in a while.” He shook his head in disbelief, so you assumed that whatever this was, it wasn’t common.
You picked up the remaining pieces and disposed of them in a bag. You arranged the rest of the living room silently with Niall, but the silence was just too loud.
“Niall?” He turned his head to you.
“Yeah?”
“Most people get drunk—like it’s not right but it happens. Why did you freak out?” Your curiosity was getting the best out of you. You weren’t dismissing Harry’s state—it just didn’t make sense.
Niall dropped the broom to the ground and took a seat on the couch.
“Harry has had a rough past y’know? It wasn’t ideal.” You sat down as well, giving him your attention.
“He had an abusive alcoholic father. It’s not my place to say much, but it left an impact on him.” He spoke as if Harry was his biological brother. It was clear that he cared for him deeply.
You swallowed down your throat upon Niall’s confession. He hated alcohol. It must have reminded him of darker days. He barely opened up about his childhood to you, but many things clicked for you.
“I’m sorry that I troubled you. I was just shocked because he never got drunk, let alone drank in the first place.” He clasped his hands together and spoke with sorrow.
“He was in the worst state ever. I couldn’t understand why he kept talking about you.” He swiped his hand through his hair and gulped down a cup of water.
“What did he say?” Your voice was timid and small like you were dreading to know the truth. It may deny or confirm something.
“Stuff about you being an angel, that he messed up?” He shook his head, trying to remember some details.
“Also that you were too delicate or something.” He scrunched his face at his lack of memory, unaware of your expression.
Is that what Harry thought of you? It was so overwhelming to find out all of this within a short time frame when his actions did not reflect what Niall was saying.
You didn’t doubt that Harry was a good man, not at all. But to hear these words so casually, as if they weren’t the sweetest things you have been told—
“Sorry—I didn’t know he had feelings for you.” Niall broke the silence.
“Feelings?” You questioned, attempting to control the tears that were threatening to fall.
“I mean—the way he spoke about you…it was emotional. I called you because I thought he’d need you.” He scratched the top of his head, rethinking what he had done.
“It might have been something destructive because he never drank—“ He didn’t complete his sentence, and stared at the wall instead.
He must have caught on to your cluelessness and took a step back. You were picking at your nails with your head lowered down. Everything hit you like a rollercoaster and you needed space.
“You don’t have to stay Niall. I can manage.” You assured him.
“I can stay, I don’t mind.”
“You’ve done a lot already. You’re a good friend.” You tipped him a smile and he understood the cue.
“If you need anything, just call me.” He stood up and walked towards the door, before giving you one last glance and leaving.
Conveniently, Snow Bun ran in your direction as soon as Niall was out of the door. The little bunny jumped on your lap and got himself all cozy.
You instinctively patted his head and cradled him. A few tears fell down your cheeks against your will. You pushed back everything you were thinking of and walked to the refrigerator.
“Are you hungry? Harry probably couldn’t feed you.” Just the thought itself made you incredibly sad for no reason. Perhaps, it’s the fact that underneath it all, Harry was just a guy who loved his privacy and spent time with his bunny.
The more you recalled nice gestures that he did, the more tears fell. You weren’t sobbing, but everything was hitting you all at once. Whatever you processed this evening was hard to consume, even in small doses.
Snow Bun immediately began nibbling at the strawberry you offered him. You couldn’t help but recall when Harry fed him in front of you, it was a happier night.
You’re glad that he feels safe to take food from you. Was he able to sense Harry’s mood?
You offered him another strawberry which he ate comfortably like a baby. You placed two more for him in his bowl and cleaned up around the house to pass the time.
There wasn’t much to do, a few dirty pans, messy pillows and blankets all over the place, and a bit of Snowy’s dry food that fell out of his plate.
You opened more windows and lit a candle to allow the whiskey smell to fade. Thankfully, the broken glass was the first thing you and Niall cleaned up—but you were still skeptical about it.
You picked up the broom that Niall dropped earlier and cleaned under the couch to make sure that there was no glass left.
You felt a sharp pain in your chest upon wondering how it shattered. Did he lose his balance and drop it? Or did he do it out of frustration?
Your train of thought was interrupted when the broom collided with something. You could feel that it wasn’t glass, so you pulled it in your direction and reached your hand under the couch to grasp it.
It was a notebook.
It was already open, and your eyes landed on what was written. You flinched, feeling disrespectful for taking a glance despite not helping it. You wouldn’t want someone to look through your journal—but your eyes were glued to the words.
A few lines were scribbled at the top of the page including your name with Harry’s handwriting that you memorized so well. Yet, these lines were blurred out due to the scribbling—but you could make out the word ‘apricity’.
Underneath them were the clear unscratched lines that made you let out a silent gasp.
Starry haze, crystal ball
Somehow, you’ve become some paranoia
Just like a nepenthe
But your gift is wasted on me
You allowed your fingers to touch the paper, to make sure that this was real and that you weren’t hallucinating.
You quickly moved on to the lines under them and your knees nearly buckled.
I was thinking about who you are
Your delicate point of view, I
Was thinking about you
The last line ended on a whim and was more of a question than a sentence.
Just you?
You closed the notebook and threw it on the couch like it was poison. You were breathing heavily and your legs carried you straight to the refrigerator for the cup of water you’ve needed since Niall called.
You gulped down two cups frantically as if it would help you process or erase what you read.
Finding out that Harry most likely drank because of you, and might have had feelings for you was enough. But to see that he wrote lyrics about you?
Maybe it was scary because it was a concrete confirmation. It shut down the overthinking and the endless questions just with a glance at a piece of paper.
The suffocation was threatening to close up your chest, not caring about the soft night breeze and the lit candle that smelled like Harry.
It seemed as if his secrets were unfolding with any action that you took. There’s only so much you could handle in one night, so you laid down on the couch. You will sleep here, you won’t leave him alone.
You covered yourself with a blanket and were soon joined by Snow Bun who made himself comfortable next to you.
You contemplated grabbing a book from your bag but even that doesn’t seem to work anymore.
You wondered what could soothe a person if not books.
Still, there wasn’t much you could do. It was close to eleven and you would soon fall asleep—but until then your mind would get the chance to torment you.
What will you do when he wakes up? Will you have the courage to ask him about everything? Does he even want you around?
These questions and many more went through your head as you shifted on the couch. Though, that seemed to annoy Snowy who was trying to sleep, unaware of all the troubles.
Being a bunny is quite easy. ——————————————————
Harry struggled to open his eyes. His brain didn’t aid him and was not functioning properly, the same way car engines fail to roar. A tiny grunt left his lips, he was attempting to regain his consciousness, despite being overwhelmed.
A sharp pain stemmed from his head, the one people get from being beaten with a bat. He felt out of place as if he switched bodies with a completely different person who neglected themselves.
His bones and muscles didn’t ache—but the fatigue was embedded in all of his atoms.
Another grunt was elicited, followed by a hiss. The morning sun sneaked through the window, casting its light on his tired figure. It burned his eyes and worsened the pounding headache he felt.
His mouth was dry like a man who hadn’t taken a sip in days, he could feel it with every grunt as he swallowed down his throat in an attempt to hydrate his system.
“What the—“ He mumbled, forcing his eyes to open again as he collected the energy to raise his hand and shield his face from the sun.
The neurons in his brain worked hard to transmit signals. He needed just one memory to recall—a reason even to understand what led him to this state.
He buried his face in the pillow, relieving himself from the sting of the morning light. He groaned as the headache became unbearable.
What did he do last night?
The few cells that got to work urged him to connect things and conclude a reason—the headache, fatigue, and memory loss all pointed towards the unthinkable.
But no, he wouldn’t. Right?
He possessed great self-control, confided his sister in when he felt suffocated, and would never allow himself to resort to a destructive outlet.
No matter how torn he felt, how maimed and beaten his heart was—he prided himself in needing no one and repressing his sadness.
Right?
His muscles worked together to lift his body slowly. He supported himself on the mattress with his hands and observed his surroundings with squinted eyes.
Everything seemed normal, nothing was out of place. The bedroom was tidy and neat, the way he always maintained it.
Yet, his attire had him confused. He never went to sleep with his work clothes, he either slept shirtless or with a clean tank top.
He couldn’t help but bring his hand to his temple. The pain was unbearable, flashing like thunder and echoing in his skull.
Attempting to piece some bits of information together was a tough task, let alone when he couldn’t quite remember whatever went down the previous day.
His senses gave him a push until his brain connected some dots and realized what his mouth felt like besides dryness.
It was Whiskey.
“No—“ It would be a reasonable justification. His body warned him when he first opened his eyes, but he was in denial.
Fatigue, muscle aches, headache, thirst, and in his case— feeling like absolute shit.
“What did I do?” He groaned, in response to his pain and stupidness.
He’s had his fair share of atrocious headaches and fatigue, yet he was never subjected to immense emotional maim that led him to this state. Not even in his younger years. He vowed to never touch a bottle in his life. He had a few beers as a teenager, but that was the extent.
He never wished to become a spitting image of his sperm donor or inflict harm upon others using alcohol.
Something that he must have done.
Recalling the cause of his ache was effortless; not because of its intensity or his functioning memory. But because he simply could never push someone like you out of his mind, even when he was in a foggy state.
“Y/n.” He whispered under his breath.
He was in shambles upon reading your letter. He needed an outlet to empty his pain. A pain that he inflicted upon himself and you.
It was an internal battle; treating you like shit to push you away, when all he wanted was to hold you and kiss your soft lips.
How could he even dare to have you? The most delicate being he ever met. You were an angel that fell on earth accidentally. Maybe god was searching for you, but Harry wanted you selfishly to himself.
He didn’t deserve you, well no one did actually—but a boy could dream.
Your soft aura and charming personality would never fit in a million years with his dark heart and destructive thoughts. You were so delicate that he feared breaking you, and if that ever happened, he’d never forgive himself.
He was a weak man when it came to you. Your contagious smile, books, warm personality, and kind manners. Love was never on his agenda, he didn’t even have any vision for his future. Nothing but his career maybe, but of course, you’d tip his scales over.
You became his dream, someone that he wished he could have. He didn’t realize that his heart was betraying him, leading the tide against his rational thoughts.
In some way, he was a prisoner of your presence. You simply had to walk inside the room he was in, and all his problems would evaporate.
Even when he first met you, despite his cold tone and expression, he was deeply enamored by you. He never wanted to find out information about a person this bad, he needed to know who you were.
He didn’t consider himself a dedicated reader, sometimes a book here and there but—a philosophy he once read stuck with him.
The philosophy of Descartes, his dualism, and the notion of mind and body being distinct, yet intimately related. It was logical to him to a certain extent but as of late, Harry created his philosophy.
The mind and body were foes; often joining together to set up a scheme. This scheme was to torture Harry. His body belonged near you, but his heart kept him up at night. They were allies for once, simply to dismantle his sanity and imprint invisible bruises on his body.
And so they managed to trap him, render him a fool in front of you, and destroy any small chance he might have had.
He gathered all the energy left in his fatigued body and got up from his warm bed. The sun’s rays burned his eyes yet embraced his skin lovingly.
He wondered why Snow Bun wasn’t next to him, it was against his habit but maybe he was just roaming around the planted strawberries again.
The first thing up was brushing his teeth, getting rid of the awful smell was essential. He hoped he wouldn’t have to do this again.
The sight of his tired face in the mirror had him double checking. When did it get so unbearable?
For most people, this was barely an issue—but for Harry, it tipped his life upside down.
He doesn’t go well with emotions, communication or even figuring out what the other person wants.
“Shit.” He splashed cold water on his face before grabbing a clean cloth and drying it.
He would need a while to feel better again, to accept what had happened, and avoid leading himself to that state.
He had a quick cold shower to give himself the illusion of being clean, even when his system wasn’t. The fresh set of clothes and cologne elevated his mood, and the sting of the water helped with his headache.
He needed a nutritious meal despite the nausea bubbling in his stomach. Besides, where the hell was Snowy?
Harry reached for the doorknob as wet droplets from his hair fell on the ground. He barely advanced a few footsteps before stopping in his tracks.
He had an inkling that his feelings toward you, and the letter you left influenced his actions last night. But, seeing you asleep on his sofa with his bunny cuddled to your chest was not on his list.
He stood in the doorway with barely a few breaths coming in and out of his nose. As if a time traveler somehow arrived at this moment and froze his body.
Could he still be dreaming?
He wasn’t worthy of your presence, not even in his dreams.
He didn’t even deserve the wasted sun rays that hugged him earlier. They should’ve poured their focus on you, just like they were doing this instant. Your skin was covered with gold, somehow glistening more than any other human being. This is how an angel sleeps, he thought.
He was so jealous of the sun, envious even. It got to kiss every inch of your skin and keep you warm, unlike him.
The golden color stretched to your perfect hair, shut eyelids, and soft raspberry mouth. Your chest rose slowly, even your breathing was delicate.
He didn’t blame Snow Bun for liking you one bit, even a bunny knew how pure you were.
He didn’t mean to stare like a creep, but funnily enough, his pet blew his cover. Snowy awoke from his peaceful sleep and disrupted you in the process.
You peeled your eyes open and looked down at the moving bunny who had enough sleep. It seemed like you did too as your body felt satisfied with the hours you rested during.
The room was bathed in sunlight and warmth, and surprisingly to your right—was Harry standing motionless.
“Harry! You’re up.” Your legs moved before your brain processed anything. You were up on your feet in no time, facing a confused yet tired Harry.
“H—hi.” He swallowed down his throat.
“How are you feeling?” Your hair was all over the place and you couldn’t tell what your face looked like, but you had to check up on him.
The night went by quickly, and the next thing you knew, he was standing next to you, hopefully sober.
“Pretty shit.” He pressed his lips together, ignoring Snowy’s thumbing on the floor.
For an unknown reason, his response elicited a tiny giggle out of your lips. One that eased his headache.
“I—“
“Do you remember anything from last night?” You beat him, feeling way too curious.
You had a plethora of things to say and discuss, stuff you should’ve said long ago.
“Just a bit. Not the entire picture.” He bit on his tongue, feeling the blood drain from his body.
Standing in front of you, seeing you, and hearing a question that was brought up yesterday triggered a sudden flashback.
How Niall dragged him to bed as you stared at him with fear and worry.
So he fucked up again.
“I’m sorry.” He blurted out before you managed a response.
“What for? You barely remember what happened.” You shrugged.
“Everything.” He averted his gaze downward in shame.
It was out of a movie scene, two individuals facing each other in a sunlit room, way too stuck in their heads to see right what’s in front of them.
This moment was ageless. Your torn expression and his sorrowful face. Your sympathy and his regret. A powerful duo indeed.
Only in instants like these was silence positively uncomfortable. The silent eye contact back and forth, uncaring for the ticks of the clock, or what lies behind the eyes. The invitation to open your hearts broadly for one another, without shame or hesitation. Just two young beings diving into each other’s souls, passing control over to their bodies and hearts; even if they betrayed them.
He offered you an immense amount of vulnerability that he’s never given to anyone, simply by eye contact.
As if your souls had a secret language that they used.
“I—“
“Well—“
You spoke at the same time before stopping in shock.
“You speak first.”
“No. You talked first.”
He gestured for you to speak, and you swore you have never seen him this polite and held back.
“Hmm. I know this isn’t an ideal timing and that it’s quite rough for you right now. But how about breakfast and a mature conversation?” You asked with your bottom lip hidden between your teeth.
“I’d love that.” He nodded with a weak smile. The only one you managed to get from him for what felt like ages.
You refreshed in the bathroom while Harry prepared breakfast. It was similar to when he cooked you lunch. The same aroma drifted in the air with the sound of the oil sizzling and the same warmth that radiated from the house.
But this time, it was more awkward knowing that a conversation awaits. What were you supposed to say, and should you take the initiative of starting small talk?
You washed your face with water for the second time, dreading the return to the kitchen. You offered to cook since you knew he wasn’t feeling well, but he insisted saying ‘It’s the least he could do’.
Snowy managed to follow you to the bathroom (after he had his breakfast), and you smiled at his excited thumping.
“Let’s go.” You cradled him and returned to where Harry was using his chef skills.
He looked up the moment you walked in, offering you a gentle smile. Your heart ached at his gesture for no reason.
“Are you feeling okay now?” You cleared your throat as you sat on a stool near the counter.
“Somewhat…My headache is a bit better.” He scratched his head, avoiding eye contact.
You nodded, moving your attention to Snowy who was clueless and happy in your lap.
“I remembered some stuff.” He mumbled rather quickly as he flipped chocolate chip pancakes.
“Oh?” It was a good sign because you didn’t know how to tell him that he randomly mumbled stuff about you.
“Um, yeah…” He remained silent for a few seconds and checked in on the delicious scrambled eggs he was preparing.
“I’m sorry you had to see that last night.” His words reeked of shame and guilt. There was a sense of vulnerability in what went down, and for a man like him, it would be a hard pill to swallow. After all, someone else had seen his weakness.
“Harry, I—“
“No, just let me say a few things.” You hadn’t expected him to begin talking now. But, it seemed that you were too busy admiring his tired face to notice the plate he slid in front of you.
“Eat please.” He gestured to your plate with concern when he was the one who should be fuelling his body.
“You need it more.” You argued, with signs of worry flashing over your face.
Sweet sweet shortcake, Harry thought. Always putting others before you.
The look of determination on your face was evident. Besides, could he ever say no to you?
“Look, I’m eating.” He grabbed a pancake from his dish and took a bite.
You swallowed thickly and joined him in taking small bites of food. He felt more full just by watching you eat contently. He tried to ignore the whirling thoughts in his brain, whether or not you had dinner last night.
“I’m sorry again.” Harry gathered his courage and looked into your kind eyes.
“It wasn’t your responsibility to help me, nor Niall’s.” An undertone of pain was hidden in his voice.
“And it was all very immature of me.” You could tell that it was hard for him to maintain eye contact, you’d struggle too if you were in his place. So, you averted your gaze away to relieve him.
You didn’t interrupt him, it was clear that he had many things to say.
“I ruined your evening, made you worried, and had you sleep on an uncomfortable sofa.” He swallowed down his throat, with his fingers digging crescent marks on his palm.
“I’ve put you through so much just because I do not know how to communicate.” He shook his head in disappointment.
“We’re humans, we kind of designed to miscommunicate.” You shrugged.
“Not to this extent shortcake.” His eyes held the key to everything. You used to think of him as an enigma, or impossible puzzle. But now, he was like a flowing river that held all of his thoughts that had been pressing to come out.
“I—It’s not an excuse but I’m not a fan of alcohol and I’ve never been drunk.” He swiped his hand through his hair, finally caving into his anxiety and averting his gaze.
Going with the flow and confessing that you knew was not an option. You wanted him to open his heart out instead of making him feel like he was already exposed.
“And my father was an alcoholic—“ He took a deep breath and remained silent for a few moments.
“Harry, you don’t have to push yourself to talk.” You whispered despite being alone in the room.
The signs of tiredness on his face were somehow getting worse, and a single tear slid down his cheek. Your hand immediately reached out to wipe it, making him stare lovingly.
He didn’t reply verbally. Instead, he softly grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles with his eyes shut as if he were pouring something into the kiss.
“Sweet shortcake.” He gave you a hint of a smile as he gazed into your eyes.
“A fly wouldn’t dare to hurt you, yet I did.”
“Stop blaming yourself.” You grabbed a strawberry from his plate and brought it to his mouth. He accepted it contently and went back to silence.
The staring was not unpleasant like you thought it’d be. It was a continuation of standing in front of each other in the living room. Just two souls speaking in a different language.
He caught you off guard by breaking the silence with a shocked yet joyful expression.
His hand reached out to your neck where the necklace was dangling beautifully. He ran his fingers over it, before turning it backward and smiling at the engraving.
“You wore it.”
“Of course, might be my favorite necklace so far.” His smile was so broad that he seemed as if he had forgotten all about life’s worries.
“It suits you.” He couldn’t take his eyes off it.
“Because it’s special. Uncle George gave it to me and told me all about it after I left your garage.” You unintentionally broke the joyful bubble by reminding Harry of the awful events that led to this moment.
His expression slowly fell until his hand retracted away from the necklace.
“Harry—about that letter, it was immature of me. I should have faced you—“
“It’s completely your right. I’ve been so fucking shitty. I didn’t even deserve an explanation.”
“Don’t say that—“
“I’m serious. You wasted your kindness on me.” His hands were under the counter, but you had an inkling that they were shaking.
“I have a lot to explain and—“ He continued to ramble vigorously.
“H, breathe.” You stepped off the stool and went to his side.
He was rushing to tell you everything, not giving his body or mind a chance to process because he needed to explain himself. He’d go on his knees if he had to. His anxious rants and fast train of thought were nothing but an outcome of fear.
Fear of losing you.
A small part of him still believed that no matter what he said or did, you would still leave. Even if he ripped his heart out and gave it to you as it leaked black blood on the kitchen floor.
So he fired with everything that made him vulnerable, just to keep you, or at least the thought of you if you allowed.
And you knew that, god you knew. It had you fighting back tears as you faced him.
“You’re still very tired. And we don’t have to talk about every single detail right this instant. You need to rest, we both do.” Your hand caressed his cheek softly, and his face unconsciously leaned in.
“We need time to think, feel, and process what happened. I’m not going anywhere, Harry. I just won’t work for you anymore.” You weren’t the best confronter, but judging by the look in his eyes, you weren’t doing so bad.
“And—when the time is right, we’ll talk about many things.” It was your turn to tear up now, and of course, he mimicked what you did earlier by wiping your tears away.
“Can I say one last thing?”
“Yes.”
“You have bewitched me, body and soul.” He took pride in saying it, his eyes raking all over your face to save your reaction in his memory.
The slow appearance of your dimples, the soft furrow of your eyebrows, the realization dawning on your face followed by the most adorable giggle he has ever heard.
“Did you just quote Mr.Darcy!” You covered your mouth with your hand.
“He’s my number one inspiration.” His dimples made an appearance and god you’ve missed them. They brought joy to his worn-out yet beautiful face.
There was a certain undertone to his statement that had you holding back another giddy smile. One of them indicated quite the resemblance between him and Mr.Darcy. How he was cold towards Lizzie at first when he was simply smitten all along.
‘He’s my number one inspiration’
Was your story similar to theirs? Was he your Mr.Darcy? Bitter yet soft when faced with the possibility of losing you?
Another suggestion that knocked the breath out of your lungs was the sentence that would follow.
‘You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, love you.’
He didn’t utter it, but the idea of him even quoting your favorite book ever sparked goosebumps all over your skin.
“How did you even know what he said?” His eyes were glued to your smiling face, and if he ever lost his memory, he begged any existing divine being to only keep this sight of you.
“I read it.” He confessed proudly as if he were an Emperor flaunting his possessions.
The bluebirds have arrived and made themselves comfortable near the window. They would soon begin their orchestra as scheduled.
“You read Pride & Prejudice?!” You gasped unintentionally, causing a faint blush to creep up his cheeks.
He hummed with a grin threatening to break on his face and chewed on some eggs as you admired him.
You ached to ask him why he read this specific book. A part of you knew, but the other part craved to hear it.
Harry read your favorite book.
“Actually… speaking of reading.” You swallowed down your throat and readied yourself for your confession.
He turned his attention to you, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
“You read a new book?”
“No—I’m in a reading slump honestly. My first one.” Your face fell, something that he immediately noticed.
“Oh—“
“It’s fine.” You shrugged, dismissing the issue. It did pain you but that wasn’t your current focus.
“What I wanted to say is that—I was cleaning some broken glass yesterday…” His jaw clenched at the mention of the glass. He didn’t think about the mess he caused, and bringing it up brought the guilt back.
“And I found something.” You were still trying to articulate proper words, but his facial expression saddened you.
Harry couldn’t decide if his brain wanted to pour its attention on blaming him for the broken glass or think about the ‘thing’ that you found.
“Yeah?”
“I did not mean to look—actually that’s a pathetic excuse.” You covered your face with your hands and let out a small groan.
“My eyes landed on some written stuff and I couldn’t stop reading your notebook.” You blurted it out as fast as possible, with an antsy body language.
“Shortcake—“
“I’m really sorry…that was rude of me, but I—“
“Calm down.” It was ironic how he managed to soothe you with two simple words.
“It’s all good, m’kay? Besides, the poem is about you shortcake.” Another proud confession left his lips as if what he said wasn’t so destructively beautiful.
You were always the reader, and never the writer. But Harry canceled both possibilities and made you the muse.
“I meant every word, and I always will.” He whispered as if the bluebirds would hear him and steal his sacred poem.
You could feel your eyes swelling with tears, your left knee was shaking and you couldn’t maintain eye contact with him.
“I’m sorry this is a lot to take in.” You covered your face from embarrassment.
“No pressure, shortcake.” He assured you with a thousand knives going through his heart.
Snow Bun broke the tension by thumping repeatedly until Harry kneeled, and picked him up.
“Someone wants attention…” Harry chuckled before Snowy jumped out of his lap, straight to his plate on the counter, and helped himself to strawberries.
“…or my strawberries.” He shook his head in disappointment for falling into Snowy’s trap.
Your laughter echoed in the room, overshadowing the birds’ songs. A laughter that healed Harry, and reflected his happiness.
“Do you want more food? Are you full?” He gestured to your empty plate.
“Thank you H, I’m all good. I think I’ll head home now.” You got off the stool and grabbed your bag from the sofa.
“Yeah—Okay. Let me dress up quickly to drive you.” He was heading towards his bedroom before you stopped him.
“No, it’s okay. I have my bike.”
“I insist, it’s the least I could do—“
“H, stop saying that. I promise I’ll be fine on my own.” He studied your facial expression to try and figure out if you genuinely do not need the ride.
“Besides, I don’t want you driving immediately after yesterday night, you should rest and I need some fresh air.” You tipped him an honest smile that had his heart pumping.
“Sure, whatever you like.” His hands were in his pockets as he stood facing you.
‘I don’t want you driving immediately after yesterday night’ had him frozen in his place.
It toyed with his heart and messed with his blood pressure. You said it so casually as if it didn’t indicate that someone cared about him—and not just anyone, it was you.
His shortcake, his delicate girl.
You walked towards the front door as Harry watched with intent eyes. After a few steps, you stopped and turned around in his direction.
He was taken aback by your action and straightened his posture.
“I’m really glad that you’re safe.” You blurted out, as you looked into his emerald eyes. He didn’t get the chance to form a response before you engulfed his body in a tight hug.
His hands immediately wrapped around your body, savoring what you offered. You warmed him up in a few moments more than the sun that woke him up.
A whiff of your strawberry shampoo was stuck in his nose and that was all he needed to feel better.
Somehow, his hands were perfectly molded for your waist, and your height was perfect for him to lower his head and lay it against yours.
Despite his wishes and dreams, you pulled away from the hug with a soft smile painted across your face.
“Bye, H.”
“Bye, shortcake.”
It was an easy departure, not filled with heavy weight on your chest or guilt. The complete opposite of your arrival last night.
You weren’t trying to avoid Harry when you said that it would need time, but you knew that some space would do good for both parties. Pondering and reflecting was a necessity, especially for Harry.
The yearning to hear Harry’s explanations remained nestled deep inside you. Your patience would undergo a practice with a small hint of knowing what was coming.
For once in your life, you didn’t jump to conclusions stemming from your anxiety. What you felt, heard, and saw was enough.
You didn’t want Harry to rush everything because you could feel how the sentence was on the tip of his tongue, along with quoting Mr.Darcy.
He had feelings for you, and it was mutual.
You allowed yourself to feel the giddiness and rush while simultaneously acknowledging past events.
What led you to write the letter, Harry’s coldness and ignorance but also his sudden moments of warmth and kindness.
Denial wasn’t an option for you. You felt attracted to him since day one, and rightfully so. As for his feelings, you’re yet to delve deep into that topic.
Time does not heal, but it’s more of a breather. Last night was emotionally charged, but it somehow changed your life upside down.
He didn’t specifically confess his feelings, and nor did you. But you kept going back to those moments of silence when your souls had a quiet chat against your knowledge. Perhaps they confessed then because you really know.
If you were to think deeply about it, Harry did the one thing he vowed to never do just because he thought that he lost you for good.
It pained you to even consider it, but that indicated how much you meant to him.
Drinking to punish himself, his poem, his apologetic sweet face, his urge to spit out every single excuse his heart held, and his body that held you as if he was shielding you from the world.
He was the man you read about in your books, with all of his good and bad traits. In fact, he was better than them because he was real with a beating heart that you listened to when you hugged him.
The past would not be forgotten, it would be vaguely memorized to learn from your mistakes as human beings who were designed and destined to commit mistakes.
The next best thing after sunshine, books, strawberries, bunnies, and poems was second chances and fresh beginnings.
Even with the knowledge that many mature conversations await you, there was something comforting about this morning that carried a whiff of warmth in the air.
Harry liked you, and you liked Harry.
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jinwoosungs · 28 days
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{ 151 }
enough is enough.
jinwoo sung x fem.reader
{ take me home, don’t shut me out | it’s easier to leave me down here on the ground | take me home, baby i’m fucked up now | i know it’s easier to leave me down here on the ground | ‘cause enough is enough… }
you had gotten into an argument with jinwoo, feeling your insecurities resurface the moment you saw him standing together with cha hae-in in a picture seen within a news article that detailed their latest raid together.
your phone lands against the hardwood floors of your apartment, the article that had jinwoo and hae-in together still seen against your phone’s screen. currently, your eyes blazing with fury as you kept poking a finger against jinwoo’s chest. “why the hell is she always standing next to you like that? you already know i had deep suspicions when it comes to her!”
jinwoo’s eyes were glowing purple in response, yet he keeps his hands balled up into fists, trying to ensure that he would not hurt you while you were in the midst of arguing with him.
“and the fact that she admits to being into you despite knowing your relationship with me just further annoys me! how could you be so comfortable with her proximity?!”
“you’re overreacting again.” jinwoo finally replies through gritted teeth, choosing instead to head to the fridge as he grabbed a bottle of water. you follow him into the kitchen with your arms crossed, frowning as your eyes continued to glare at him, watching him drink his water while trying to gather your thoughts.
despite being with him since he was an e-rank hunter, you felt as though you were losing the confidence to stay by his side with the way he was now-
a powerful and sought after s-rank hunter.
you didn’t know why you got so angry, so anxious, each time hae-in was close to jinwoo. hell, this wasn’t even the first time you blew up. each time the news or rumors began to surface pertaining to how perfect jinwoo and hae-in were together, you felt devastated.
but deep down, you knew it was because she was more fit to remain by his side than you ever could be.
cha hae-in was an s-rank hunter like him. she could fight by his side without any fear-
unlike you, a mere civilian.
not only was she powerful, but she was achingly beautiful as well. with golden hair and stormy, grey eyes, you knew that compared to her, you didn’t stand a chance.
“it’s such a mystery why you’re here with me.” you manage to tell him in a cold tone, willing yourself to cease caring when jinwoo stiffens in response. “in fact, i feel like you loved me more when you were still an e-rank hunter. i may have even preferred that you stay that way. now… you spend most of your days ignoring me, choosing instead to go on raids- i don’t even know you anymore.”
jinwoo’s eyes continued to glow a deeper purple hue in response when he sets aside his half-empty bottle of water, his tone filled with ice when he tells you, “oh yeah, you may be right then. maybe cha hae-in is more suited for me. at least she won’t constantly nag at me like you do.”
red hot anger (and heartwrenching pain) courses through you, forcing your body to act on instinct when you pick up the bottle of water and toss its contents onto jinwoo.
your eyes widen in response to your actions, seeing the way the water drips down his face and against his shirt. you felt a sense of guilt surrounding you, and when you tried to apologize to him, no words would come out.
jinwoo hides his gaze from you, making you uncertain of his true emotions when he takes quick strides away from you. only when he leaves (slamming your front door in response) did you finally slump down against the ground.
you were actively crying on your knees now, your sobs becoming so potent and painful that your chest ached in response. you felt nauseous, feeling the snot dripping down your nose as you allowed yourself to bask in this pain.
uncertain as to how much time had passed, you only stood back up when the ache against your knees became too much to bear. your hiccups echo throughout the now cold and empty apartment, and you harshly wipe away at your dripping nose. you let out a shaky sigh and forlornly speak to yourself, “you’re such a damn mess. there’s no way jinwoo will come back to you now- i’m such an idiot.”
believing that this was the end for you and jinwoo, you figured that enough was enough for him. he could no longer stand your constant questionings and insecurities pertaining to hae-in-
he was probably running into cha hae-in’s arms right now.
and that thought was enough to further break you.
still sobbing to yourself, you drag your feet across the floors. you pick up your phone and settle it on the coffee table, making your way back to your bedroom as you forced yourself to calm down with a shower. tasting the saltiness of your tears against your damp skin, you lick at your chapped lips and turn on the faucet, making it go as hot as it could go.
peeling off your clothes, you step into the shower and wash away your tears. you bask in the comfort of the hot waters, feeling the droplets soothe your aching bones and muscles. as you began to relax, you decided to spoil yourself a bit and cleanse your body with your favorite scented soap and shampoo. you remain in the shower for close to an hour, only stopping when you felt fully refreshed.
as you wrapped your towel around your naked body, you head back into your room to get dressed in your pajamas, ready to turn in for the night while trying not to think about how his side of the bed would be empty.
once you were fully dressed, you realized that your mind was racing too much to really fall asleep. so, you decided to cheer yourself up, instead. heading to your kitchen, you open up the freezer and got out your favorite flavor of ice cream, uncapping the carton while grabbing a shiny silver spoon.
with your ice cream in hand, you settle yourself on the couch and turn on your t.v. to a random channel, not paying attention to what was going on while digging into your ice cream. you knew that you wouldn’t be able to sleep in the same room that still held all of jinwoo’s belongings and already resigned yourself to a sleepless night on the couch.
yet in the midst of your moping, you heard a series of knocks coming from your door.
“sarang, it’s me. please, let me in?”
you drop your ice cream and spoon on the ground, recognizing jinwoo’s voice. the palm of his hand continues to slam against your door as a sense of desperation was heard in his voice.
“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you jealous. and i didn’t mean what i said about hunter cha being better for me. she’s a mere colleague, and she only likes me for the way i am now.”
“i’ll admit, she is powerful, and many consider her beautiful- but she doesn’t make my heart race like you do. being around her is stifling, since she only sees and knows me as a powerful hunter. i have to act that way around her at all times-
but with you, i can breathe. you have been with me since the beginning. you have seen me at my weakest, and still love me unconditionally. the same could never be said about hunter cha hae-in.”
you felt the tears streaming down your face as jinwoo stopped knocking on your door, seeming to slump against it as you heard a light ‘thump!’ coming from the door.
“it doesn’t matter, even if you leave me all alone out here, i’ll simply sleep on the ground until you forgive me.”
unable to handle the thought of leaving jinwoo alone, you stand and quickly open the door, revealing jinwoo with bloodshot eyes and a tiny smile. in his hands, you saw an extravagant bouquet along with a cute teddy bear in his arms with an ‘i’m sorry’ message written in a neat script on its plush belly.
letting out a happy sob, you wrap your arms around jinwoo’s neck, nearly crushing the bouquet he had bought for you.
“i’m sorry for throwing water at y-you, and telling you i loved you more when you were weaker… i love you regardless of your s-strength…” you tell him with a shaky sigh as your boyfriend returns your hug while letting out a soft chuckle. “it’s okay, i kind of deserved it; and i know that you love me unconditionally, like you always do.”
jinwoo continues to hold you in his arms before continuing to speak, “five minutes after leaving you, i deeply regretted hurting you and cried. i immediately called jinah for some advice… and after berating me and calling me an idiot, she told me to buy you your favorite gifts all while begging you to take me back.”
you giggle and give jinwoo a squeeze, silently thinking of the ways you could treat jinah for helping you and jinwoo make up.
“well, your sister just proved how much smarter she is compared to her oppa.” you giggle before taking the cute teddy bear and bouquet out of his arms, basking in jinwoo’s embrace as he presses a lingering kiss against your hair after he closed the door.
you stay in his embrace and sway against him. “jinwoo?”
“hm?”
you look up at him with a hopeful gaze. “did you mean… everything that you said? that you can breathe and be yourself around me… and not with cha hae-in?”
jinwoo gives you a smile while brushing back your hair. “i meant every word.”
after that single phrase, you felt all of your doubts disappear when he gives you a sweet, but chaste, kiss, feeling him smile against your lips before pulling away from you.
“let me continue making it up to you… how about i make you your favorite food as a late dinner?”
your eyes became alight with happiness with the promise of jinwoo’s cooking, making you follow your beloved boyfriend into the kitchen as he successfully continues to mend your broken heart with his loving actions alone.
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a.n. - i finished making my presentations and am ready to present later on for my classes today, so i’m treating myself to writing another jinwoo story for good luck ♡ after all, writing about jinwoo gives me strength 🥹
all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.
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rainerioun · 2 months
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𝖧𝖮𝖶 𝖣𝖮 𝖳𝖧𝖤𝖸 𝖵𝖨𝖤𝖶 𝖸𝖮𝖴? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.
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— Hello! I thought I'd try and give a more in-depth reading. Interestingly, some of the piles seem to be similar. Perhaps this reading is meant for just a few people. I tried to keep it pretty general and unbiased whether we're talking about platonic or romantic connections, but it seems like there are hints of romantic feelings in all of them. However, if you're inquiring about a friendship or something similar, feel free to take what resonates and ignore the rest. <3
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HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.
Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.
MUST READ + MASTERLIST
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PILE ONE
How Do They View You? King of Wands | Queen of Swords | Death.
To start, this person respects you heavily. They perceive you as someone exuding confidence and leading by example. You've influenced them at the very least. If you're experiencing change or have recently undergone a transformation, they want you to know they're proud of you.
How Do They View You? Dragon : Seeing One's Most True Self, Balancing Ego. | Oyster : Patient, Secret-Keeper, Hiding Inner Treasures.
They see the real you, not just the image you project. If you're shy or uncertain, they want to remind you not to underestimate yourself, and to embrace your genuine beauty and intelligence. They know that everyone else wants to see it too. I believe that they might perceive your confidence as a sort of façade.
How Do They View You? Trickster — Light : Transcending Convention, Stuffiness and Predictable Behavior. Shadow : Manipulating Others Through Duplicity.
I didn't view this card negatively; it felt more like confirmation of what I said earlier. This person understands that you don't reveal everything and perhaps even play a role, though it may not be intentional. They recognize your tendency to use humor as a shield, but they wish you would let them in a bit more because they can see through you already.
How Do They Feel Around You? Determination, Balance, Cleanse, Magic, Protection.
When this person is around you, they experience a sense of balance and comfort. They feel a protective instinct towards you, given what they know about you, or vice versa. They long to express their love and appreciation more openly and receive it in return. Reach out to them more often!
Additional. Photograph : Looking at Your Photos, Missing You, Nostalgia, Make New Memories.
They miss you if there's any current separation or lack of communication. They might even be keeping an eye on you, whether through social media or mutual connections, just to ensure you're doing alright.
Extra: Aquarius, Change, 10, Unique, Libra, Scorpio, Emotions, Bittersweet, Funny, Summer Blues, Phone Call.
Alien Blues : Vundabar | Fine Line : Harry Styles | I Wanna Be Yours : Artic Monkeys.
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PILE TWO
How Do They View You? Ten of Wands [Reversed] | Nine of Swords [Reversed] | Knight of Pentacles.
This person acknowledges your ambition but finds it amusing that you can also be a bit absent-minded. It's not meant as an insult but more of a playful tease. They believe you sometimes overlook the risks around you because you're so captivated and excited by what lies ahead, which can come off as slightly immature. It reminds them of a naive child who might need a gentle nudge in the right direction, so you don't leap off the cliff hoping to grab the sun. I can picture someone stumbling clumsily while the other bursts into loud laughter.
How Do They View You? Moth : Impulsive, Hasty, Wishful | Bee : Earnest, Hardworking, Democratic.
I find this dynamic incredibly endearing. They see you as someone goofy or even whimsical. You're sensitive and vibrant, drawing people to you effortlessly, which they appreciate. Sometimes, it seems like they want to slow you down a bit so you don't scurry off too quickly. You give off a jittery vibe at times.
How Do They View You? Rescuer — Light : Provides Strength and Support to Others in Crisis. Acts out of Love with no Expectation of Reward. Shadow : Assumes that the Rescued will Reciprocate. Goddess — Light : The Feminine Expressed through Wisdom, Nature, Life Force and Sensuality. Shadow : Exploitation of the Female Nature and Form.
This person admires your kindness and charm. I can picture them giggling nonstop whenever they're with you. It's as if you have no worries, just frolicking through life carefree.
How Do They Feel Around You? Sweetness, Success, Rejection.
Once more, you're incredibly sweet to them. Normally, they feel content in your company, but there might be moments when they feel rejected. If they've made a move and you've turned them down, that's the reason. They need time to move on and accept that boundary if don't reciprocate their feelings. If not, it's because they've been dropping hints left and right, and you're just too oblivious to pick up on them.
Additional. Stabbed in the Back : Heartbreak, Pain, Separation, Shocking Attack. Camera : Remininscing, Keepsake, Perception, Learn from the Past, Make Memories. Coffee Cup : Meeting and Conversing, Savoring the Moment, Feeling Uplifted, Friendship.
Yeah, they're definitely feeling a bit disheartened that their attempts to win you over aren't hitting the mark or are just going unnoticed. But hey, you don't owe them anything, so no need to feel guilty. Regardless, they want to keep being part of your life, cherishing the friendship you've both formed.
Extra : Pisces, Indecisive, Kind, 7, Individuality, Unique, Communication, Taurus, Leo, Cancer, Junebug, Wheel, Fields.
Dangerously In Love : Beyoncé. | Hanging Your Picture Up To Dry : Cut Worms.
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[18+, SUGGESTIVE.]
PILE THREE
How Do They View You? Ace of Swords, Six of Swords, Wheel of Fortune [Reversed].
I wasn't anticipating this kind of reading when I shuffled the cards. I almost reshuffled to get a more generic and 'safe' result, but I decided against it. It seems this person likes you a little more than they probably should. They perceive you as someone incredibly self-assured and inspiring, maybe even a bit out of their league. Yet, despite feeling like they're chasing you, they don't seem to mind the playful challenge and are willing to put in the extra effort to break through your defenses.
How Do They View You? Cheetah : Solar Force, Action, Achievement. | Starfish : Beautiful, Alluring, Superficial or Shallow.
This seems pretty clear-cut, lol. They view you as someone with the potential to reach any goal, maybe because your appearance tends to influence people without you even trying. They're strongly attracted to you, but they're also aware they're not alone in admiring you.
How Do They View You? Queen — Light : Radiates the Regal Feminine. Uses Her Benevolent Authority to Protect Others. Shadow : Becomes Arrogant When Authority Is Challenged. Controlling and Demanding. Hero/Heroine — Light : Passion for a Journey of Personal Empowerment. Shadow : Escapism and a False Sense of Heroism.
They definitely put you on a pedestal in their mind. Sometimes you can get a little sassy or assertive because you're clear about what you want, and they find that irresistible. They truly appreciate the natural authority you exude.
How Do They Feel Around You? Passion, Trust, Hunger.
Do I really need to elaborate? For my own sake, I'll keep it brief. You light a fire within them, and they feel like they cannot control such feelings.
Additional. The Snake : Competition, Enemy, Clever, Malicious, Look Over Your Shoulder, The Other Woman. Kisses : Unconditionally Loving, Giving and Receiving Affection, Falling in Love.
As I mentioned, they feel this urge to compete for your affection with others. They might even experience a twinge of jealousy seeing someone else getting your attention while they're so invested in you. My advice is, if this is a secret admirer or a third-party situation, it's best to tell them where they stand. If you're not interested, it's important not to lead them on. However, if polyamory is part of your dynamic, then there's no need to worry about what I'm saying; it seems like they enjoy the thrill of the chase.
Extra: 6, Virgo, Possessive, Cancer, Fussy, Moon, Emotions, Strong Needs, Candles, Stack of Papers, Show Off, Linger, Lust.
Fields of Elation : Sleep Token | Somebody Else : Bad Omens | Lost in the Fire : The Weeknd.
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chaoticace2005 · 2 months
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Why Valentino needs to chill the fuck out (AKA a list of complaints on the pissbaby):
(By Velvette, the only one here with a braincell)
(Her list for Vox (to stop obsessing over Alastor) here)
1. I can’t stop you from being a dick to your employees but STOP RIPPING UP MINE
2. Can you keep your obsession with Angel Dust in the studio? Bringing him up elsewhere makes Vox think he can bitch about Alastor and I don’t need anymore of that.
3. Bringing up the Radio Demon to win an argument just makes everyone suffer.
4. I know therapy is a lost cause with you but seriously?
5. Figure out whatever the fuck you and Vox have going on. You’re not dating but you have Radio Demon- related foreplay and Vox gets jealous whenever you bring up “Angelcakes.”
6. I’ll blow my brains out if I hear the name “Angelcakes” again.
7. I don’t want to keep replacing lights after you run into them head first
8. I don’t want to keep having to spend money buying mothballs so you won’t eat my clothes.
9. When you get pissed you get horny, and I’d prefer if you didn’t fuck anyone on the kitchen counter.
10. Or my closet
11. Can you stop crying about the fact I have (gorgeous) hair and you don’t? Not my fault your head looks like an egg
12. Also weird pheromones? Can you keep that stuff inside you until we need to make more Love Potions? The whole place stinks
13. Your rage bedazzling has begun to get out of hand. I took a shower and rhinestones came out of the tap.
14. STOP FIRING BEDAZZLED (OR ANY) GUN INTO WALLS. AND STOP SAYING ITS FINE BECAUSE YOU LIKE HOLES.
15. Chasing down your employee who is staying with the PRINCESS AND KING of HELL isn’t the best idea.
16. Also, again, Radio Demon. And he may be an ancient prick but Vox is so insufferable.
17. Seriously if anyone gets to kill you it’s me. And since I can’t nobody can.
18. We keep having to replace phones because of your tantrums.
19. And employees
20. And TV screens for Vox
21. When you get angry you put things in the top shelves which is really a dick move.
22. At this point I’m starting to worry if you’ll take the name “pissbaby” seriously given your recent fixation and I do NOT want to deal with that.
23. I know tormenting employees can be fun, but also Angel Dust gets us a lot of money. And if he finds a way to opt out then I’m making sure the financial loss comes out of YOUR funds.
24. I don’t want to go to any more shitty overlord meetings alone because Vox is busy having a mental breakdown and you’re busy looking up new forms of torture.
25. Unlike that Carmine hag I am NOT a wrinkly old mom so STOP making me act like it.
25. Apparently you can only be so “problematic” in Hell and you’ve definitely passed that point
26. Seriously? Do you know how often #CancelTheVees is trending? #CancelValentino is FINE but then you go dragging me into this shit…
27. I’m tired of being the responsible one. Why don’t you two old fucks get your shit together?
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moog-rt · 3 months
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GO TO HELL [ch. 3]
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[Lucifer Morningstar x Fem!Reader]
Previous: Chapter Two
➨ Chapter Three
Next: Chapter Four
Premise:
You love your friends. You really do. But sometimes it needs reminding when one of them accidentally sends you to Hell.
Despite falling into the hands of Hell’s loveliest princess, finding a way back to the world of the living proves difficult as you tiptoe around its king.
Warning(s): sudden popularity, mistakes were made (by you not me <3)
If you'd prefer to read on Ao3, here is the link:
Otherwise, enjoy!
♡ ♡ ♡
CHAPTER THREE
Well.
You finally made it on TV. Fame and fortune were nearly yours for the taking. People would be lining up outside for your autograph and maybe even just the chance to catch a glimpse of you.
The ‘Human in Hell.’
That was the headline the news broadcasters decided on. It was slapped on top of a clip of you hauling ass through the rancid streets of Hell. You were clearly panic stricken and fearing for your life, but why would the announcers care about that?.
A darn shame it was being aired live across all of Hell. Your dignity was the price you would pay for fame amongst the worst people to walk the Earth.
You were curled into yourself on the couch, unable to peel your eyes away from the screen. Vaggie was pacing behind it, muttering out profanities you didn’t know existed. And Charlie? She was doing her best to calm the both of you down. Bless her heart.
The reason you had to end your little escapade to the Morningstar Manor early was because Vaggie texted saying she had bad news. You thought perhaps her recruiting backfired or there could have been a fire in the hotel that she couldn’t put out.
You did not expect to be called back because the entirety of Hell now had you on their radar. This complicated things quite a bit as one might imagine. It was much easier to hide as a human when only a handful of people knew about you. Now, everyone’s eyes were peeled in hope of finding you.
“Look, she’s all-over social media, too,” Vaggie groaned, showing her phone screen to the two of you. She began to read off some of the posts, “Vox and Katy Killjoy are promising viewers an interview with her…There’s already bidding wars for Christ’s sake!”
“Let’s not worry too much about this…As long as we make sure she’s in her disguise when we’re out, it’ll all be okay,” Charlie said.
“They caught her on video. What if they tracked her to the hotel? They could show up any second looking for her!”
It was touching she cared so much about your well-being in this situation, but the goal was to have you back home as soon as possible. Once you were out of Hell, none of this would be a problem. You doubted demons would pass into the living world just to come after you. At that point, there was an endless number of humans to choose from.
“I don’t know…They probably would have already shown up if they knew she was here,” Charlie reasoned, and Vaggie’s pacing began to slow.
“I was able to get away from all the demons that were after me by the time I found the hotel,” you added. “No one should have been around to see me come in.”
Charlie was finally able to get Vaggie to sit, and a tense silence enveloped the three of you. Charlie was rubbing Vaggie’s arms soothingly, so you took it upon yourself to turn off the tv. There was no point in listening to it anymore. All it did was stress everyone out, and there was nothing you could really do about it. Your current plan of action remained the best.
“So how was your day, Vaggie?” you asked in hopes of breaching a more positive topic.
“Oh, right! Did you find anybody who would be interested in staying with us?” Charlie chimed in with a bright grin.
The poor girl sighed in response.
“There was one person who was interested in what we’re offering,” she began, “but he seemed more enticed by free rent than redemption…”
“That’s okay. Maybe if he spends a little time with us, the idea of redemption will start to grow on him!” Charlie sounded like she was also trying to convince herself.
“I guess…” Vaggie grumbled. “He said he might drop by tomorrow or the day after to check things out. Would that work for you guys?”
“Oh, my gosh. That would be great!” Charlie squealed, jumping up from the floor. “We have to head back to my dad’s in the morning, but any time after that would be perfect.”
“No luck today?”
“Not really,” you sighed. “We were able to look around a little bit but we ended up running into her old man.”
“And he tried interrogating her,” Charlie groaned, running her hands through her hair as the memory resurfaced. “I was so worried he would suspect something, but your emergency text totally saved us.”
“Did the disguise work at least?”
That was an excellent question. While he didn’t seem to question anything about your appearance, he still seemed suspicious. It was entirely possible he could smell your fear. You’d expect no less from a demon; they probably fed off of it. Who knows…
You should be nicer. Charlie and Vaggie certainly hadn’t given you that impression. In fact, you were pretty sure you saw one of them eating toast for breakfast. They likely had perfectly normal digestive systems.
“I think so! We’re just gonna have to make a good cover story in case he finds us again.”
The three of you began to brainstorm, losing track of time as it faded into playful conversation. There was an intermission to order food since their ‘kitchen’ still wasn’t quite ready to be used to such an extent. And eventually, you parted ways to get ready for bed.
Your arms were full after they had given you a towel and a plethora of toiletries to help scrub all the paint off of your body. When you entered your room, you were also greeted by your ‘human’ clothes, clean and neatly folded on top of your bed.
And laying on top of those was your phone.
Holy shit. You had completely forgotten you had it on you before your ass was ripped through that portal. Of course, the adrenaline rush that immediately followed your arrival in Hell didn’t help. And you were so eager to get those nasty, garbage covered clothes off, you hadn’t noticed the weight in your back pocket.
You dumped all the toiletries onto your bed to grab it.
The home screen was piled with notifications ranging from worried texts to company newsletter alerts. You began thumbing in your password to rifle through it all… but then you noticed your hand.
The paint was rubbed away.
On your fingers and wrists. There were splotches where paint was gone, revealing your natural skin underneath.
When did this happen?
Your palms were almost completely barren, likely from everything you had touched throughout the day. On the back of your hands and around your wrists, there were smaller spots where your skin was peeking through.
Like fingerprints.
You felt like you were delt a sucker punch to the gut.
Maybe…Maybe it was from your own hand. You could have been rubbing at your own wrists subconsciously. With all the stress-inducing shit going down, that wouldn’t be unlikely.
But if the paint could come off so easily…
No. You had to believe it was your own doing.
Regardless, you had to find a way to prevent it from happening again.
You opted to wait until the morning to break the bad news to Charlie and Vaggie. The two had just gone off to bed, and honestly, your nerves were getting the better of you. Your stomach was twisting in on itself as your heart pounded relentlessly against your ribs.
You would tell them. You would.
Just not right now.
More than anything, you wanted that dried up paint off of you.
Tossing your phone aside and grabbing your bathing supplies, you scrambled into the bathroom to throw the shower on. The feeling of peeling those clothes off and clambering in to let the hot water rush over your sticky body was ethereal. It was so satisfying to watch the unnatural pigment run off your skin, erasing any evidence that it may have transferred onto that man’s hands.
You closed your eyes and tilted your head back, hoping it would wash away your worries, as well.
Finding the will to get out of the shower was difficult. But your body was tired, as well as your mind.
Flicking the lights off, you tumbled into bed, content with its softness in that moment as the mattress and pillows consumed you entirely. You were more than ready to knock out and forget about all that had happened over the past couple of days.
You didn’t want to think about the fact you were likely being hunted by god knows how many hell-goers. You didn’t want to think about the impact the time you spent here would leave on your life in the living world. Your job, your relationships (thankfully you didn’t have a pet). More than anything, you didn’t want to think about the possibility you may never get home at all.
With a deep sigh, you rolled onto your side and felt something hard beneath your hip. You groaned as you reached down to remove it, finding the phone that you had carelessly tossed aside. It made your heart swell.
You wanted your friends. You wanted to read their texts, new and old. Hell, you wanted to see any memes or posts they may have sent you. Any semblance of normality was all you needed right now. You would take whatever you could get.
Slowly, you reached over and grabbed it. Its brightness hadn’t yet adjusted, and you squinted as you flash banged yourself.
Opening your messages, you saw Devon at the top. They said that they hoped you could see their message, that you were somehow okay.
That depends on what you consider to be ‘okay’.
Beneath them was that boy, Jack. He sounded upset. He probably thought you were ignoring his texts out of spite. His messages were a mixture of asking what was wrong and saying you were overreacting over whatever it was he had done.
You couldn’t recall him doing anything to upset you recently, so it seemed there were things you had yet to find out about. What a pain.
Your other friends that you were supposed to spend time with today were expressing their concern for your absence.
Are you coming?
Where are you?
Is everything okay?
Please respond.
It made your heart ache. You needed to let them know you were at least alive.
As soon as you started writing a message of your own, the text began to buzz. The overhead light and lamps in your room began to strobe, and pixels of red flashed across your screen as a horrible humming emanated from the phone. It sounded as if the room was filled with a swarm of bees. It was deafening.
Then you noticed those shackles.
Those red, glowing shackles that dragged you here were flickering around your wrists once more. You sat straight up, ready for them to pull you somewhere new, but then the room went dark and the noise was gone.
You could still feel the sheets beneath your knees, and when you turned on the lamp beside your bed, the room looked untouched. At the very least, you knew you hadn’t been thrown through another portal.
There was no sign that anything had happened at all.
Your phone would not turn on again after that whole…event…from the night before. At most, it would crackle at you, but the screen remained black. It was possible it just died from low battery, but you weren’t paying attention to that. You wondered what the odds were that Charlie would have a compatible charger.
You could ask her about it later.
The two of you were back on the grind to find a way to access the living world. Once again, Vaggie had to hang back. They decided it would be best for someone to make the hotel slightly more presentable in case the potential patron decided to stop by that evening. A good call, in your opinion.
Beggars can’t be choosers, but their place didn’t seem particularly livable from the outside. Hence, why you thought it would be a good spot to hunker down to begin with.
You and Charlie had slipped into her dad’s place again, this time undetected. After checking out the room of relics once more and without any interruptions, you found nothing that seemed to be of use (from what you could tell, shit was written in ancient tongue).
Your next stop was library where you decided to split up in order to cover more ground.
Now, you wandered aimlessly through the towering shelves of books, unsure of where to start. Having no clue how it was all organized, you settled on the tactic of picking out books at random and letting your luck guide you.
It wasn’t going so well.
You were able to find only one or two books pertaining to the ‘mortal’ world, but neither had anything to do with accessing it. They more so covered history of civilization and travel guides once you were there.
Pulling out another book that looked to be promising, you sighed as that, too, ended up being a dud. Half an hour had easily passed since you began your search, and you were growing despondent.
You wanted to believe that there was some way to get back. Charlie and Vaggie had said so themselves. But if Charlie’s old home was your best shot, you didn’t like your odds looking anywhere else.
No matter how much you tried to stay optimistic, you couldn’t help but dwell on the possibility of being truly stuck here. Finding a way out was starting to feel like finding a needle in a haystack, especially now that you were rummaging through a library that easily held thousands of books.
You hated the thought of not being able to see your friends again. Your family. Stuck in a world where there was a target on your back for simply existing in it.
Your energy was beginning to dwindle. You were slowing down, and your heart felt so heavy.
And you hated it.
You hated the way your vision was beginning to blur and how your sunglasses were fogging up as your face grew warmer.
Your sleeve wiped away the first tear that threatened to slip past, but you were too slow for the second. It left a wet streak down your cheek before you were able to dab it away. You wanted to be careful of your makeup.
When Charlie was getting you ready earlier, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell her about the paint missing from your hands. You wanted to, but every time you thought you found the courage to say it, your throat grew tight, choking you into silence.
The most you could do was suggest a setting spray or powder to make sure it really stayed put. You told her you were just worried about the possibility of it coming off. Even if you couldn’t pull the truth from your own mouth, you wanted to take whatever precautions you could.
Your precautions, it seemed, were still not enough as the paint transferred onto your sleeve. Leave it to tears to ruin a girl’s makeup. You need to find someplace with a reflection to see if you could cover it up somehow.
As if on cue, you heard Charlie walking into your aisle. You felt relieved as she could probably blend the new smudges you’d created before anyone could see them.
“Hey, sorry but do you think you could help me out real quick?” you ask as you turned to her with your hand covering your cheek.
You nearly jumped out of your skin as you were greeted not by the sight of your newest friend but her father instead.
His hands were propped up on his staff, and his eyebrows were raised nearly to his hairline. He had a smug smile on his face to compliment it. Like he had caught you in the act.
There was nothing suspicious about looking at books in a library, though. Was there?
Adjusting your sunglasses so they were back in place, you put on the most charming smile you could conjure.
‘Hi—Good morning, Mr. Morningstar!”
“Hello, again,” he hummed, tilting his head as he watched you. “I didn’t think I would be seeing you again so soon.”
“Right, uh…Well, we had to leave in such a hurry yesterday. Charlie wasn’t able to find what she came for, so we’re back!” You lifted your shoulders to appear more excited than you were. At least you weren’t lying.
His finger started tapping on his apple.
“It’s quite interesting she didn’t think to give me any heads up. Almost like she’s trying to hide something…” He looked down at the book you were still holding for a moment then back at you.
Your heartrate spiked.
“What is it you’re looking for exactly?” He walked up next to you and made an act of looking through some of the books on the shelves you had just gone through.
“Huh? Oh, I’m not completely sure what Charlie needs, but she said I was welcome to look around in here,” you said, holding the book closer to your chest in hopes of hiding its title. “But I understand it’s your library, so if you’d prefer I not be in here, I’ll leave.”
He paused. With a heavy sigh, he closed his eyes and pressed the apple of his staff to his lips.
“Look,” he began, turning back around to face you, “you said you were relatively new here, correct?”
You nodded, unsure of where this was going.
“I don’t know how it happened, but I can imagine the change was sudden, and it can be pretty hard to accept,” he said as he made a gesture with his hand. “I don’t blame you for seeking out ways to feel like you’re still in touch with your life before.”
You looked away, tight lipped.
It was hard, but you didn’t want to have to accept it. You weren’t dead. Not yet. Which meant returning to your life before was still an option for you.
“I’m very grateful to have met your daughter,” you said, shaking your head and looking back at him.
His eyes were trained on you, and it no longer felt as if he was trying to look through you or figure out your intentions. Rather, he was looking at you.
“It all would’ve been much worse for me if I hadn’t,” you continued. “She’s given me a safe place to stay and has been trying to help me in any way she can, and I feel very lucky for that.”
You looked back at him with a soft smile. Soft but genuine. Meeting Charlie and Vaggie was the only bout of good luck you’d had since being sent to Hell.
A smile grew on his face in return, and for once, you didn’t feel threatened by it.
“That makes me happy to hear,” he said. “She’s always been much too kind for a place like this.”
“I suppose so,” you chuckled. “I think that just means you did a pretty good job raising her.”
“Aha…I hope so…” he glanced away, sharp teeth beginning to peek through his lips. He then reached a hand out towards you. “May I see that book?”
Hesitating for a moment, you passed it to him. He read over the title before looking up at the endless shelves.
“Come with me,” he said, walking down the aisle.
You followed him in silence. As he turned the corner, you passed a large arched window that allowed red light to stream through. It illuminated the few specs of dust in the air, and when he walked through it, it turned his hair and skin a blush pink.
As you passed under the light, it felt as though all your prior nervousness washed away.
Yesterday, you wanted nothing more than to be as far from this man as possible.
Now, you felt at ease as he guided you through his labyrinth of a library.
He began pulling books from the shelves here and there, handing them off to you. When you looked them over, you realized they were all pertaining to the living world. You knew better than to hope he’d give you one that held the key to getting home…but what if?
You chatted with him a bit about Charlie and her hotel as you went on through the aisles. You were a little surprised by how much he didn’t know about her plans.
After a few minutes, your arms were filled with a stack almost up to your chin.
“That should do it!” he announced, turning to you with a wide grin as he brushed the dust from his hands. His eyes lingered on your face.
“Thank you so much! This is really kind of you,” you said politely. “I’ll be sure to give them back when I’m—uh…done with them!”
“No rush at all. I’ll be sure to stop by soon to see what all my dear daughter has been up to,” he said with a smirk.
You said your goodbyes and watched as he walked away. The smile adorning your face was subconscious, and your chest felt full and warm.
The weight of all the books was making your arms tired. You had yet to look at what he pulled out for you, but you could wait until you were back at the hotel to rifle through them. You probably wouldn’t be able to find anything better than what he had given you, so you decided to meet back up with Charlie.
She found some things that looked promising, as well. You figured she would have told you more about them if her eyes hadn’t landed on your cheek. The cheek that was out on display for the whole world to see as both your arms were full of the books her father had pulled out for you.
Next Chapter
♡ ♡ ♡
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ghosts-bandwagon · 1 year
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Hello! I would like to leave a request for ghost and alejandro (I don't know if you write for him, if you don't, then leave the request with ghost only). maybe where if s/o is a bookworm, she loves to read, every time that she can, she buys books and only spends her money on them. Until they (ghost/alejandro) pick up out of curiosity the book s/o was reading and falls into a smut/hot chapter and now they tease her about it and make fun every time she buys a new book.
Or something like that, you know. Thank you.
I will gladly write for Alejandro! This kind of took on a mind of its own, I hope you like it!
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley:
You always had your nose deep in a book for as long as he’s known you. Whenever there’s down time and you’ve accomplished all your tasks, you’re in your room, reclined on your bed, hot tea streaming on your night stand, and a small bowl of your favorite fruit. Simon had to commend your focus, it was downright impressive.
He was a man who valued his privacy, so naturally he’d respect yours. Still he couldn’t help the curiosity that tugged at the back of his mind, what could possibly be so interesting?
One day while you were reading on the couch, you were so comfortable and wound up dozing off. Your book was held loosely in your hand and Simon couldn’t help but be endeared at the sight, and then the silence broke when your book slipped off your lap and onto the ground. He knew how delicately you treated your books and he’d hate to see you get upset over bent pages, so he leaned down and picked it up off the floor.
Unfortunately, Simon is cursed with the ability to read things quickly. And as he slid your bookmark into place, he was met with paragraphs full of descriptive and erotic literature. He didn’t mean to read it, he really didn’t, but now that he saw the books contents, it all seemed to click. It made sense why you’d never read around others, but in the comfort of your room or the comfort of your shared home. He couldn’t blame you though, the words seemed to stir something in him as well. Still, he slipped the bookmark into place and set the book on the small table beside you.
The next time you went to the bookstore together, he decided to have a little fun himself. Simon tracked you down in the fiction section and stood behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on yours.
“Struggling to find something?”
“Sort of, nothing’s really standing out to me.” You leaned back against him as you reached out and grabbed another book,
“Not titillating enough for you?”
The little shit knows.
“What do you mean?” You feign ignorance, knowing full well he can feel your heart hammering in your chest,
“Just wondering if it’s interesting enough for you.” His hands have started wandering, smoothing down the curves of your waist, squeezing the push of your thighs,
“Just spit it out, Simon. I’m not an idiot.” Your face started running hot as his lips ventured the column of your neck, nipping the skin of your jaw, kissing along the shell of your ear,
“Just sayin’ you might have developed a preference for a reenactment, pet.”
Alejandro Vargas:
He loved seeing you read, it brought him so much peace to watch you. Coming home from the hectic chaos that is dealing with the cartels was made significantly more soothing when he saw you in the kitchen, making dinner with one hand and holding your book in the other
He’d always go with you to the store to get more books, he loves going with you. He loves seeing how meticulous and thorough you are when you’re picking your books, you’re so focused, it’s impressive. He honestly wished his men had a quarter of that focus you possessed, god only knows what they could accomplish. He’d always tease you about it, and you’d playfully shove him with a deep blush on your cheeks.
One day, you had to step away from your book to take a phone call, so you set it face down and walked away to take it. Alejandro came into the dining room and saw the overturned book and heard your voice carry down the hall. Being the chismoso that he is, he took the opportunity to take a peek at what you’ve been reading. He felt the heat rush to his cheeks, his ears, and everywhere else. Dios mío, is this really what you’re always reading? That would explain why you tuck the book away when you fall asleep. He was so enthralled by what he was reading that he didn’t hear you hang up and come back in, until he saw you in the corner of his eye,
“Mi vida, is this what you read constantly?” He asked with a smirk on his lips, he sees you start backing away, your face losing and gaining so much color. He set the book down and walked over to you, you were rooted in place, stuttering and stammering. His hands snaked around your waist, his hips pressing against yours, he can feel your heart thundering in your chest, and god he could swallow you whole. He rested his forehead against yours, lips molding against yours, tugging your bottom lip between his teeth,
“Corazón, I’d be happy to recreate those scenes if you want to.”
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