#bts med au

[muniimyg]

NICE GUYS FINISH LAST // KNJ

you’re still so pretty

+

strangers to friends, friends into lovers, and then.. strangers again?

navi | m. list | ask me! |

pairing:

med student nam joon + med student oc

au/genre: 

high school sweethearts to exes to ???

fluff !! slight angst

note: cute little one shot in my drafts… idrk whats going on but it’s giving meet cute vibes!!! enj!

🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar

One thing people never talk about is the loneliness that comes hand-in-hand with being ambitious. 

You lose friends, opportunities, and even love. 

Feeling the need to prove the world and others wrong—getting so lost in your strength that you’ve become weak—it’s not a life everyone can live. The exchange of your success came at the cost of having your loved ones as collateral damage. 

Kim Nam Joon was exactly that for you. 

Though you two didn’t end on a sour note, the memories and possibilities of you and him leaves a bittersweet taste in your tongue. Thinking of him, speaking of him, and missing him comes in waves. Yet, with each memory, you gladly drown. 

Others argue that you bloomed late while your parents like to defend you and say you’re too good to settle for anyone less. Your parents, however, kept their mouths shut whenever it came to Nam Joon. 

They liked him. 

He was practically accepted and assumed to be the one you marry… It’s silly, isn’t it? For parents to see stars in their daughter’s eyes at such a young age and understand why. 

From what you can remember, he was a quiet nerd who helped others but was also good at identifying when he was being used. There was a difference. He held your bookbag, dropped you off at class, and always sat with you and your friends at lunch. His friends would tease him about how whipped he was for you and your parents would often bicker about how young you two were to be that inseparable. 

So when it ended—because nothing at the age of 17 really lasts—he didn’t know if it was over or if it was truly over. Partly because you didn’t sound cold when you asked for space and the distance that grew between you two had given you both time to accept the inevitable. Still, when it happened it felt utterly confusing. For weeks, he couldn’t help but wonder if you’d changed your mind before the summer ended and went on to your separate ways… In case you changed your mind—if a single ounce of you wanted to give the long-distance a fucking try—he had a plan. 

The plan.

Calls are to occur every Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday nights. Calling every night might get tiring, but it’s okay if the calls increase due to missing each other. 

Good morning texts every day. 

Visiting each other should be done through turn-taking. He’ll go to you first. 

Fly home every big holiday. 

Shit like that. 

He wondered if you would change your mind before he[‘d have to force himself to get over you. Then, he wondered if you would even think about changing your mind at all. Until suddenly, he realizes that you never even asked.

You probably never even thought about him. 

You two broke up the summer before University. You both told everyone that your dream schools were at opposite ends of the world. Knowing you both could make it; it was hard for others to disagree. However, Nam Joon began to feel a bit of resentment as the breakup became more and more real. Deciding that long-distance would complicate your study and work schedules was a practical decision—but it was not his. 

It was yours. 

He’s almost certain that the decision was made out of 80% of logic, 5% out of love, and 15% out of insecurity.

You’ve never failed anything in your life. Perhaps, love is no exception. 

As the seasons changed, time flew and the breakup felt like a summernight dream. It slowly became a topic that only popped up once in a while, and when it did, you spoke of it like how it felt. It felt kind and sweet. Like the aftertaste of strawberry milk candies and craving for more, like the way you finish a good book where the characters don’t die and nothing feels tragic, but a part of you wishes you hadn’t reached the end. That, if you could, you would reread the pages as if you never knew a thing. You spoke of your puppy love like how love felt; love felt like him. 

The peace you’ve made with your feelings for him suddenly begins to panic as a familiar tall and dimple smile greets you. Cheesy to say, but too difficult to deny—all the memories of him begin to flood your mind as he approaches. 

With his heart on his sleeve, he stands before you. 

“Long time no see, ___.” 

His smile is the same. 

The way his lips curve perfectly reminds you of how they felt against your neck. He had that habit—smiling into a kiss that is. His hair is shaved, earning a good laugh from you. You’ve never seen him so… Manly?

“Kim Nam Joon,” you gush. “Wow, it’s been a while.”

Offering your hand, he stares at it and chuckles. His shoulders are much broader now, so his body language is much more noticeable. It suits him. 

“Too formal, ___.” Nam Joon laughs, taking your hand and bringing it to his lips. Gently, he places a kiss on your knuckles and squeezes them. To others, this may be forward… To you, it’s just right. He always greeted you like this. A part of your heart is relieved he hasn’t changed that much. “But, yeah... It has been a while. 6 years to be exact!”

“You kept count?” Your eyebrows knit together, teasingly. He gives you a playful irritated look, causing your heart to melt a little. 

“You know what I mean… I just—I didn’t know you were back in Korea. You don’t use social media so it’s a little hard to hear anything about you.” 

To his dismay, it was difficult to get any news from you. Nam Joon would be lying if he said he hadn’t been asking around about you or if he hadn’t stayed up once in a while attempting to find your name on social media. Your closest friends moved on with their lives and careers; no one had time to reminisce on old high school sweethearts. 

Except him. 

“I finished my degree and then came back here for this med program. That was my plan, remember? It was always the plan. Nothing has changed,” you confess. “I thought you’d be way further into med school than me. You always talked about getting it done as fast as possible.”

He shrugs. “I took a gap… For like, 2 years and then failed 1 course… Twice.”

In complete shock, you gasp. “Kim Nam Joon… Failed? Twice at that?”

“It was a tough class! I fucking hate Psychology. Why do we even need it in pre-med? Like—”

You burst into tears. Tears of joy. Laughter, really. 

“Y-you failed… P-psych? The easiest fucking course in the universe?”

Nam Joon shoots you a glare. 

“My prof was crazy.”

“So are you for failing a fucking psych class!”

Nam Joon lets you have your moment. You continue to laugh, having a difficult time believing in his claim. As you continue to make fun, he makes himself comfortable, taking a seat next to you. 

“Are we done? Can we please move on?” Nam Joon groans in embarrassment. 

Composing yourself, you give in to his wish. “Some things never change, huh? You still make me laugh.”

His eyes soften. “You’re mean for using my failure as your source of joy.”

Then, you laugh again. You hit his shoulder, unable to contain your fun. Then, your eyes widen as your hand makes contact with his body.

Unhinged, you tell him, “Holy shit. You’re huge!”

Nam Joon’s eyes widen and he almost chokes on air. 

You turn red. 

“Y-you know what I mean!” You shove him playfully. It makes no difference. You barely moved him. 

Nam Joon then begins to empty his bag. Taking out his laptop, he explains himself. “Ahhh. I met a few friends who are absolute gym rats. If I’m not studying, I’m at the gym with them.”

Teasingly, you gasp again. “Ohhh? So I have no insane drinking party stories to hear from you?” 

Shaking his head with a smug smile, he answers you. “No.. There are definitely some insane drinking party stories for you to hear… Maybe after class? We could grab a cup of coffee and catch up.” He suggests. He isn’t sure what had gotten into him to be so rash, but he missed you. Seeing you again, his body automatically made its way to you.

You nod, feeling a little warm. “Sure! I’ve missed you.” 

 His heart skips a beat. 

He missed you too.

The coffee hangout goes well. 

You catch Nam Joon up with everything you’ve been up to. All the friends and people you’ve met abroad and how you finally learned how to ride a bike at the ripe age of twenty. He teases you for learning so late and you nag him about getting his driver’s license. To which, he said he acquired… Just a month ago. 

At that moment, he feels like nothing has changed even though so much has. 

You were braver. 

A lot more confident with your words and posture and Nam Joon was calmer and oddly a little funnier than you remember. Maybe you missed his quirky jokes and random “fun facts.” Whatever it was, it caused you to exchange numbers and constantly be texting back and forth. 

Suddenly, two months go by, and he’s back to being your best friend. 

You feel like you’re 17 again. Your days with him are filled with late-night study dates and bike rides around his favorite spots on campus. Honestly, you wouldn’t have it any other way. For the first time in a while, you finally felt like you were home.

Finally, he had persuaded you to join him and his friends at the gym. Your AirPods are in and you’re running on the treadmill as Jungkook, Seokjin, and Nam Joon crowd around the weights. Nam Joon is spotting Jungkook. As he lifts the heavyweights, Jungkook strikes the conversation first. 

“Are you two getting back together?” 

“What?”

“You and ___,” Jungkook grunts as he finishes his rep. “Everyone is assuming so and I want to be the first one with confirmation... Makes me feel special.”

Nam Joon rolls his eyes and turns to check on you. With longing eyes, he assures his friends: “we’re just friends.”

Seokjin pokes his head in and laughs. “Shut up. Being funny is my thing.”

“Seriously!” Nam Joon urges. “Sure, we talk about the past and all but.. Not about us—nothing about us. And.. And I don’t think she wants to? It’s weird…  And it’s okay. I rather it is like this than to make things awkward and not have her around anymore.” 

Jungkook drops the weights and sighs. 

“Ahh! Exactly my point!” 

He and Seokjin share a look and bump shoulders with Nam Joon. They’re completely aware of how their friend was looking at the girl he had loved once and can’t help but feel like something about this situation felt unfinished. 

“This is fate, you know?” Jungkook insists. “You two were in love and then it wasn’t the right time so you guys broke up. You guys were young back then… It was practical. But, she’s back and you still love her. It’s the right time. Now, this is the part where you try again.”  

Nam Joon can’t help but feel like an idiot.

“Fuck off, Kook,” Nam Joon orders. “It’s over. I’m lucky to even just be her friend again. Besides, she probably has a boyfriend.”

Seokjin squints at Nam Joon in disbelief. “... Well, have you even asked her if she’s seeing someone?”

All three boys look dumbfounded. 

No one knows what to say. 

Would it be weird to ask such a thing? Of course, Nam Joon was curious, but a part of him kind of figured that talking about your current relationship status wouldn’t be the best icebreaker for you two.

“Look man, it doesn’t matter. You’re her ex. Her first boyfriend ever! You have rights.” Jungkook encourages. He picks up his water bottle and begins to chug. 

Seokjin hits Jungkook’s stomach mid-gulp. “Rights? Kook, I think that’s for people who have kids and are having difficulty co-parenting—”

“He has rights!” Jungkook defends sternly. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he pats Nam Joon on the back. “Just ask her if she’s seeing someone… If not, ask her out. Try again.”

“What makes you think I want to try again?” Nam Joon scuffs and his two friends roll their eyes. 

Jungkook and Seokjin share a look. 

“You have been missing her your entire life. She’s back. A few giggles here and there and you ditch us for two months straight… Only to reach out and invite her to our gym to work out with us! No shade, but this is bro time!” Jungkook cries. “Also, you talk about it all the time when you’re 7 shots in. You haven’t had a girlfriend… Since her, right? Just hook-ups and a few flings… But no one is like her and that’s probably why.” Then, Jungkook hits Nam Joon’s head and sighs. 

“No one is her.”

The three turn their attention to you. Two guys approach you and begin a conversation. Nam Joon observes and it causes Jungkook and Seokjin to chuckle. 

“Time is ticking my friend. Tik tok, tik tok…” Jungkook makes an effort to let out a devious laugh. Nam Joon’s eyes begin to glow green and it satisfies his two friends. “Nice guys finish last… Ex boyfriends finish first!”

Jungkook leans towards Seokjin and whispers: “Looks like someone will be pulling ex-boyfriend card soon.” 

With that, Seokjin and Jungkook switch. Seokjin lifts the weights and Jungkook helps to spot him. Nam Joon should look away, but he can’t. His eyes are glued to the way you’re laughing at the two boys who are trying too hard to impress you. 

Mid lift, Seokjin teases Jungkook. 

“You used the term “bro time,” right? You’re such a fucking loser, Kook.”

Nam Joon felt different though. 

He felt like the fucking loser.

Nam Joon doesn’t call or text you as often as he did before. 

Since that gym session, he had begun to act a little distant. Like he was trying to set boundaries or something. It felt odd that his actions felt familiar. You felt a little ache in your heart and your head hurt. 

The past few weeks have not been easy for Nam Joon as well. He felt like an absolute dick for ignoring your warmth. He tried to excuse it by saying that he was too busy with his assignments and studying. So badly does he want to pull away from you; but it felt draining. He wanted to be near you and the fear of you not wanting him back was definitely taking a toll on him. 

It was confusing though. 

In the middle of the night, he’d come over once to give back your textbooks in exchange for a few of his hoodies. It didn’t feel real seeing him at midnight. Some nights, he’d come over a little damp from the midnight rain. As you let him into your place, all you can think to yourself is: damn. I think I’m still in love with this man. 

So, yes. 

It’s been a rough couple of weeks. With each passing day, his presence made you nervous. If his coming over at midnight wasn’t bad enough—it was the 9am’s with him that was worse. It was more about how close you two sat next to each other and how intimate these labs were. With each little moment of fingertips brushing, bumping into each other and him steadying you with his hands on your waist, and the little nose scrunch exchanges—the butterflies in your stomach flutter like crazy.

Fine.

Maybe you did fail once in your life.

You failed to be honest. You failed to fight for him. You failed to be someone to him that stays.

Nam Joon wasn’t having much fun either. 

You’ve always been so pretty to him. He especially loved whenever you two had study dates because he could watch you furrow your eyebrows, reread the same sentences, and mumble formulas and concepts to yourself over and over again. If he was lucky, he’d look up at the right time and catch you sighing from frustration. Your puffy cheeks and sleepy eyes made his heart soft and confused. To him, it was enchanting to see you so invested. 

Kind of like right now. 

As you look into the microscope, he can’t help but feel nervous. He wants to reach out and move your hair to the side. It’s bothering you and he can tell. He wants to do it, but he hesitates. 

It would be too much, right? He would be crossing the line—especially since you’re the one that broke things off with him.

His thoughts pause as you pull away and blink at him. 

“Oh, shit! I have an interview at a clinic nearby so I can’t stay to help clean up after this. I’m sorry. I should’ve told you before we began—“

“___, it’s okay. Go do your thing. I hope you get it.”

Warmly, you smile at him. 

“Thanks, baby—Nam Joon,” you correct yourself, throwing your head back and laughing nervously. In exchange, he stares at you blankly. You clear your throat, trying your best to move past this. “Sorry! For a second, I thought you were my boyfriend again.”

He brushes it off and tells you it’s okay. Again, you go back to looking into the microscope. Focusing on adjusting the lens and pulling away every so often to make notes. 

“Me too,” he says softly. 

Then, you feel it.

He tucks your hair behind your ears. You pretend like his touch didn’t send electric shocks throughout your body and ignore it. Your cheeks instantly flush a rosy pink and spill your secret. 

Nam Joon chuckles, completely in awe of you.

You’re still so pretty to him.

You’re still his.

#bts fic #bts fic rec #bts one shot #nam joon x yn #bts rm #bts rm fic #nam joon x reader #nam joon x oc #bts x oc #nam joon med au #bts med au #nam joon fluff #nam joon imagine #nam joon scenario #namjoon e2l #bts e2l

[chimmythicksfics]

Part I | I Befriend a Nerd

Rating ~ 18+

Genre(s) ~ fluff, humor, angst, possible smut haven’t decided.

Au ~ collage au, stf, ftl.

Pairing(s) ~ Nerdjimin x popularoc.

Word Count ~ 1.3k

Ch. Synopsis ~ Areum try’s to befriend Jimin in hopes of getting closer to Jungkook only to embarrass herself in the process.

Warning(s) ~ Not much honestly mentions of pregnancy/ a pregnancy test. Nerd jimin try’s to be cool (yes that’s a warning).

Post Date ~ 12/04/23

“Tell me what happened.”

"The most embarrassing thing in my life happened!" Sitting up on the bed, I face Taehyung and pull my legs up to my chest. I rest my face between my knees and pout at him. "Tae I can not describe to you how bad it was."

Tae scoffs at me from the end of the bed, raising his eyebrow, he asks. "Well how did it even happen? Tell me from the beginning."

"Well it all started when I tried phase one of Operation Love," Tae's face drops as he gapes at me; his face suddenly turns down in a frown, "You started without me?"

"Shut up, I'm explaining! So I walked into class.." Thinking back on everything that happened earlier today, I relayed the information to Taehyung.

"Hey, Jimin what's up?" Sitting down next to Jimin, I gave him the widest, cheesiest smile possible before taking my supplies out for class.

Jimin slowly tears his eyes away from his meticulous notes, looking at you behind his round wire glasses. Jimin sits up a little straighter, glancing around the classroom before he turns slightly to give me his full attention. Resting his elbow on the table, Jimin brings his hand up to play with the strands of his hair. He thinks better of it and just rests his face on his hand. "Did you uh.. need something?"

Jimin tilts his head back slightly and raises his eyebrows. I know he's trying to look cool, but it's making him look rather uncomfortable. I look around the classroom to see if anyone else is noticing this, but everyone is too engrossed in their own lives to wonder why Park Jimin looks like he's about to burst at the seams. Looking back at him, my smile dims slightly before I plaster it back into place.

"Uh just saying hi." Jimin turns back to his notes, grabbing his pen he fiddles with it while nodding his head.

"That's cool." Still nodding his head, Jimin leans back in his chair. I glance around the room again seriously is no one seeing this!

"Well uh hi, I'm Jimin." I furrow my eyebrows and tilt my head, trying to hold back my laugh.

"I know."

Jimin freezes, glancing around the room. He nods his head shyly before turning back to his notes, "right."

I giggle, tugging my hair behind my ear. I can't help but wonder how Jimin became Jungkook's best friend. He's just so... weird, but he's the best shot I have at getting close to him, so I will have to deal with it.

"You probably have no idea who I am huh?"

"I know who you are! You're Lee Areum. You're majoring in biology and you're here on a cheer scholarship," he smiles, bouncing excitedly in his chair, blushing ",we had a couple classes together last semester."

I furrow my brows, "Really?"

"Yeah, like all of them except one." I flush in embarrassment. How did I not notice him? From what I've learned about Jimin so far, he's always been pretty quiet and keeps to himself. Unless, of course, he's around Jungkook.

According to Jungkook's friends on the football team, Jungkook moved in across the street from Jimin in the 5th grade and they've been friends ever since. Many of the boys on the team also seem to think Jimin has a crush on Jungkook.

However, I talked to a couple girls on Jimin's dance team and they said Jimin's been crushing on a girl from the cheer team.

So far all I've heard about Jimin has been rumors and speculation. All I truly know about him is his friendship with Jungkook. I don't know how he can be in the circle yet so out of the loop.

"So your majoring in biology too than, right?"

"Yeah I'm here on a dance scholarship." I nod my head, pretending like I don't already know about Jimin being on the dance team.

Jimin has been single-handedly leading our dance team to victory since he got here. A lot of people don't pay attention to the dance team, but those who do are obsessed with him. It surprises me that he doesn't already have a girlfriend considering he dances with women all day and he's relatively cute. Weird guys have girlfriends too, right? I mean, just look at Taehyung.

Taehyung and his girlfriend have been going strong since their senior year of high school, despite his slightly weird characteristics. They are doing so good, in fact that Taehyung made me pick him up a pregnancy test at the pharmacy this morning.

The test is now safely tucked inside my school bag, and if that's not the most embarrassing thing I've done in my life, I don't know what is.

Soon class starts and we turn our attention to our calculus professor. The professor starts by explaining limits, derivatives, and integrals. As he explains, I follow along trying to take notes.

Soon I'm falling behind, unable to follow along with today's lesson. My notes are jumbled and I try my best to write down all the practice questions so I can go back and study them later.

" um that answer is wrong." I look at Jimin with wide eyes, confused.

"The slopes are different at every point along the curve. That means that the derivative usually has a variable." Jimin drags his finger along the page, pointing out my mistake.

"For example the derivative of f(x)= x2 is 2x therefore to find the derivative at a certain point such as x=3 you have to determine the value of the derivative 2x when x=3. The answer is 2x= (2) (3) =6."

I quickly wrote down Jimin's correction before asking if he could explain again. Jimin goes through the problem explaining it to me as I ask questions.

"You know if you need a study buddy or anything I'm free! This is my second time taking this class so I'm a little bit ahead of everyone."

"You already took this class?" Jimin explains as we pack up our notes as the class just ended.

"Just the beginning of it, I had to swap out half way through the semester cause of some issues." I remembered hearing a rumor last semester about a guy dropping his calc class because some dude kept bothering him. I wonder if that was Jimin?

If so, I would feel horrible because everyone made fun of them for weeks because they dropped the class instead of standing up for themself.

"I would love the help. For some reason I'm really struggling with the concepts." This was my chance to get closer to him! If he became my tutor, not only would I get closer to Jungkook, but I could also use him to pass calc.

"Here let me give you my number real quick!" Rifling through my bag, I struggle to get my notebook out of its confines. My notebook snags on the sipper and my bag, along with its contents, falls to the floor.

Apologizing, I crouch down to pick up all my things Jimin following suit.

I finally stuff everything into the bag when Jimin hands me a pink pox. Freezing, I followed the curve of Jimin's wrist up to his face.

"That's not mine."

"It fell out of your bag." He insists, lifting the box in my direction, trying to persuade me to grab it.

"I know, but it's not mine!" He nods his head slightly his eyes wide like he's trying to console a child, scared to speak in case I spontaneously burst into tears.

Grabbing the test, I quickly shove it into my bag before rushing out of class. Jimin's calls to wait, not reaching my ears over the sound of my own heartbeat.

New, most embarrassing moment in my life unlocked!

Author's Note~ Hey guys this has not been edited and I do not have a proofreader so I know it’s shit lmao 😂. I'm posting this because I like to write and I suck at it so I need to get better. If you guys want me to edit and continue this story let me know! Also please don't judge me on my calculus I have never taken that class in my life.

#jimin fanfic #jimin x oc #jungkook #bts jimin #nerdy jimin #cute jimin #college au #med student jimin

[oddinary4bts]

Love is a Laserquest | choi san

☆summary: years after your break-up, Choi San comes to you for help. In an attempt to save his life, you escape to your uncle's cabin in the woods far from civilization. Will nostalgia and longing make you fall again, or is Choi San just spinning more lies to you?

☆pairing: gangster!Choi San x female!reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI)

☆genre: gangster au, exes au, angst, smut, a smidge of the one bed trope

☆warnings: guns/gun violence (mentioned), knifes/stabbing (mentioned), a bounty over San's head, death of a minor character (named Jungkook my bad), blood, injuries, stitches, probably some wrong medical terminology bc optometrists don't stitch up people lmao, a panic attack, cursing, pet names, explicit content: oral sex (female receiving) -> face riding, let me know if I forgot any!

☆word count: 16.5k

☆a/n: Here's my submission for Outlaw: The Project hosted by @ssaboala. It is coincidentally my first time posting about another group than bts, so I hope this won't disappoint! I really enjoyed writing it (even though it's really sad oop). Also my first time making a moodboard so hopefully it works haha

☆a/n pt2: thank you to @moonleeai for being my ever-so faithful beta reader, love you lots <3

☆☆☆☆☆

And do you still think love is a Laserquest? Or do you take it all more seriously? I’ve tried to ask you this in some daydreams that I’ve had But you’re always busy being make-believe

Love is a Laserquest – Arctic Monkeys

☆☆☆☆☆

The diner is silent, unoccupied. It always is on late weekday evenings, when most patrons have gone to bed, the city falling under a carpet of hushed silence only night can bring forth. It makes the diner feel like it’s straight out of a 70s movie, and it makes for the perfect study sessions too.

Night isn’t always soundless in your part of town. Hence why you’ve been trying to escape, pursuing an education that has been leaving you penniless, but with a bright future ahead. If you make it out of med school at a certain point, that is.

Tonight, you fear the peace that night usually entails has been ruined for you – there were gunshots earlier, close enough for you to see the police cars racing past as the law officers made it to probably yet another gang fight.

There’s been a gang war on your side of town. The diner has always been safe, a refuge for both sides of the war, where they aren’t allowed to fight. To carry in weapons and hatred. No, the moment they cross the threshold of the diner, the gangsters become one family, sharing struggles that only poverty can cause.

You wipe a table clean before walking back towards the counter. Your open laptop waits for you, and you quickly read the study guide you’ve made for yourself, the cardiovascular system and its pathologies forming a maze in your mind that you’ve yet to decode. Luckily enough, you still have a week before the bloc ends and you have to take the exam.

Plenty of time to cram everything about the heart in your thick little skull, you’d say.

Your lips move in time with what you’re reading, attention solely focused on the bright screen when a thump is heard right outside the door. It startles you, and you turn around to see the empty street out of the glass door.

It takes you about ten seconds to notice the dark form sitting on the ground. They’re leaning against the door, head lolling to the side. You assume it must be someone that’s ended unhoused, something that happens far too often where you live.

You’ve always been kind. When you were younger, you were told your kindness would be your demise. Yet you’ve never been able to be anything but kind, even though sometimes it might put you at risk. So you can’t resist but walk to the front door, trying to push it open.

It’s useless – the weight of the person is keeping it tightly shut, though they do straighten a little, as if coming to their senses. They turn, and the moment their profile comes into view you’re brought back eight years in the past. To a time when the world was still a beautiful place, void of violence and cruelty. To a smile so sweet it made flowers blossom on your heart, and to eyes so sharp you knew they had read your soul.

Choi San is sitting outside the door, and the caked blood on his cheek tells you enough – he’s injured. He pushes away from the door before slowly getting up. He clutches his side as he does it, yet when he turns back towards you and faces your horrified eyes, he still offers you a smirk.

You push the door open, thinking about the years between then and now. You had dated him for a few months that had felt like forever, until you had realized in what kind of business he was getting involved with. You had tried to convince him to flee before it was too late, and he kept promising that he would.

Only he never did, hiding lies with beautiful words that made your teenage self swoon, until your parents had realized and forced you to break up. It had been a nasty break-up, filled with hatred and words you didn’t mean yet had needed to say for him to leave.

You remember breaking his heart like it was yesterday.

“Choi San,” you greet him, and when he lets go of his side, you notice blood on his hand.

Something runs cold inside of you, even though he still sports a smirk on his lips.

He says your name, bowing his head. “Haven’t seen you in a while.”

Months, in fact. Because he does come to the diner sometimes. He usually ignores you, and so do you, so it feels strange to have him speak to you. To hear his voice as his words are addressed to you.

“What…” you trail off, glancing down at the ripped fabric of his black tank top.

He’s got a mean cut on his ribs, and it’s only then that you truly realize that he’s badly injured. Because there’s more – one of his biceps has been sliced open too, though blood is barely oozing out of it in small rivulets. The blood on his cheek is from where you assume he’s been punched with rings, and there’s already an underlying bruise under his eye.

“Got beaten up,” he states the obvious, and you immediately open the door wider to let him in.

He limps in, heading towards the nearest booth, where he plops down and lets out a pained grunt. You make sure no one is outside before shutting the door and locking it, flipping the hanging sign on it so it says closed in case a patron decides to show up.

You take a few steps towards San, hands shaking slightly at your side. Because that’s a grown man, bleeding out on the leather seat of the booth, and his eyes are shut though he looks in pain. You don’t know what you’re supposed to do. You haven’t yet started your residency, haven’t really gone from theory to practice… Yet you’re studying to be a doctor, are you not?

“Why are you here?” you ask, though you’re pretty sure you know the answer.

“Didn’t know where else to go,” he says, wincing as one of his eyes opens. He tilts his head to look towards you. “Word around the block says…” he pauses, takes a deep breath before continuing, “that you’re studying to be a doctor”.

So you are right. He’s here because he needs your help, and you’re not quite sure how you feel about it.

“Why…” You look for words, and it takes you a moment to realize that it doesn’t matter.

For all the history between you and him, Choi San doesn’t deserve to bleed out to death on a cheap leather seat in a forgotten diner on the dangerous side of town.

He has the decency to chuckle at the start of your question, which only makes him wince in pain once again.

“Don’t move,” you tell him, and it’s a little stupid because clearly, he’s in no state to move.

He doesn’t question it, and you run to the kitchen to thoroughly wash your hands and grab the first aid kit. At night, no cooks stay around, and you usually only reheat food if needed, which doesn’t really happen. You haven’t had any client coming in at night in weeks… until San, that is. So no one is there to see what is going on, which you reckon is a relief. Because you have no idea what’s going on.

You return to the booth where San is waiting, patiently. He’s clearly wiped his hand on his face because there’s fresh blood on his forehead, and you almost balk at the sight of it.

“What have you done?” you mutter, more to yourself than to him.

It seems he’s still in sync with you because he still hears. “Got involved with the wrong crowd.”

You put the first aid kit down on the table, ignoring his eyes when they flutter open, and he rests his gaze on you.

“I don’t know if I can help you,” you say as you unzip the kit and throw it open. You spare his side a quick glance. “This looks like you’re going to need stitches.”

He makes an effort of looking down at himself, though it mostly fails as he doesn’t raise his head from the seat. “Right.”

You grab everything you think you might need – alcohol swabs to clean his skin, fresh linen to bandage his side and arm, and stuff for his cheek too. He carefully observes you, with that piercing gaze of his that used to make you go crazy inside when you were young and impressionable.

You vaguely motion at him, and he cocks an eyebrow. “What?”

“Are you able to sit up?” you ask. “I can’t reach you if you’re lying back like this.”

His pink tongue darts to wet his lips, and he nods curtly. “Let me…” he trails off, resting a bloody hand on the table while he grabs at the back of the booth to push himself up. It has new blood appearing on his side, and you quickly move towards him, putting some linen against it.

As if it’s going to do anything. He clearly needs stitches, and you’ve got nothing with you to stitch him up.

“Fuck,” he curses lowly as he’s finally sitting. You just keep the linen on his side, eyes a little wide.

Your gazes connect inevitably, and time slows. You think about how he used to smile, how his eyes used to hold a softness you haven’t had the chance to see again since he’s walked out of your life.

Or rather, since you kicked him out of your life.

“I don’t think I can help,” you whisper, and his eyes flicker to your lips.

“I can’t go to the hospital,” he admits, shame turning his features into a mask of regret. “They… If they find me, I’m dead.”

Dread fills every ounce of your being. “San, what have you been doing?”

He looks away from your insistent gaze, scoffing slightly. “You don’t want to know.”

He isn’t wrong; you genuinely don’t want to know. Because he means nothing good, even with all the memories you share with him.

“Is it going to put me in danger?” you ask, as he still obstinately avoids your gaze.

He seems to freeze in front of you, as if you’ve pressed pause to your favourite show. To avoid the awkwardness, you busy yourself with grabbing one of his hands so he can hold the linen in place before you start washing the cut on his arm. It’s not deep, but you’re pretty sure it’ll still leave a mean scar, especially considering he can’t go to the hospital.

The thought has a drop of cold sweat roll along your spine. People want him dead. People want Choi San, the man you know as a young, scared teenager just trying to find a way to make his life better, dead. You remember the innocence in his smile – has he smiled at all in the years apart?

“I should go,” he says flatly. He moves to stand, but you hold him down, two hands firmly placed on his shoulders. It makes him wince, and you quickly release your grip.

“Don’t,” you tell him. “Let me at least patch you up.”

His eyes shut again as his head hangs low. “I am so sorry.”

You don’t even know who he is apologizing to, or why he is. All you know is that it causes your heart to clench in your chest, stealing the breath from your lungs.

When you were younger, you believed San was your star-crossed lover. You believed your high school sweethearts romance would grow until you’d be old and grey and at the end of a very long road. You had dreamed of a future with him, the way only teenagers can dream – with no sense of reality. Because your reality had never been to end up by his side.

His choices had been proof enough of it.

You still remember the day you first kissed. Under an August meteor shower, with just the night sky as your witness. It had been hesitant, slow and soft, just like everything with San. And you had believed the lie, trusted it with every beat of your little heart, until your parents had found out the truth about him.

Until they had broken your heart, even before you had broken his.

If the stars had known then, what was going to happen to you and Choi San, would they still have shone through the night?

He lets out a pained sound as you gently dab at the cut on his bicep. You clean the skin around the wound in and of itself, and he watches you carefully, piercing gaze not missing how your face clouds with memories.

“How have you been doing?” he asks so softly you think his words are a gentle summer breeze on your features.

You can almost still smell the summer night air of that field where you had stargazed, where you’d always meet so long ago.

“I’ve been okay,” you answer, truthfully. Because even though you haven’t seen him, you have lived your life apart from him. Have evolved without him by your side. “Better than you, visibly.”

He didn’t expect the joke. It makes him snort, and then a soft smile grows on his lips, softening the edges of his hard features. “You haven’t changed.”

You have, and yet you haven’t. Like him, you think there’s a part of you that is still sixteen, and will forever be. A part of you that remained stuck in the moment when you watched him walk away in the rain, as if even the sky had to cry for his broken heart.

“Wish I could say the same about you,” you murmur, nostalgia a melancholic song in your words.

He chooses to remain silent, because the proof of how much he’s changed is sitting right in front of you, wounded and bleeding and hurt. The hurt is behind his eyes, in the shadows of the past that have also been obscuring your vision.

“Yeah,” he lets out, barely audible.

And then silence reigns between you, because as much as you once loved him, eight years have made you strangers. You don’t know anything about his life except the dirty, obvious darkness that surrounds him, and he doesn’t know anything except that you are studying to be a doctor…

Which leads you to wonder how does he know in the first place?

You ask him, as you’re wrapping the linen around his bicep to make a makeshift bandage. You’re proud of the result, though your fingers can’t resist but linger on the taut skin over his muscle, surprised at how soft it still is.

“I’ve heard you mention it,” he admits, as you take a step away to look at the material on the table, as if it’ll suddenly make stitches appear for you to put them in his skin. “One of the times I was here.”

“You never said hi,” you reproach him, unable to hide the ghost of a bite in your tone.

“Neither did you,” he points out, and he isn’t wrong.

All you can do is purse your lips as you finally decide to clean his skin. But for that, you have to rid him of his tank top, to make sure there’s no fabric in the wound. You look at him, cheeks somehow burning even though all you’re doing is taking care of a patient.

Though he’s not a patient, and you’re not in a hospital. You’re just a server at a dusty, old diner and he’s just your teenage lover, wounded by his dangerous actions.

“Should I grab scissors to remove your shirt?” you ask, though you’re speaking to yourself more than to him.

He still finds it in him to tease. “You want me out of my shirt?” he enquires, smirk gracing his lips again. “Say no more.”

He tries moving, but you hold up a hand to stop him. “Don’t,” you warn. “You’ll make it bleed more.”

He purses his lips, because nodding. “Right.” He glances at the first aid kit, before his eyes trail to your face again. “You got scissors in that?”

There are. You grab them, before turning towards him. It feels strange: you’ve never undressed him before. You had always wanted to wait, back then, before you slept together. You believed you were too young, and San had always respected it.

“Let me know if I hurt you,” you tell him as you take a step closer to him.

He slightly leans back, furrowing his eyebrows. “What do you plan to do with those that might hurt?”

You roll your eyes, playfully, before taking the two other steps leading to right in front of his legs. You notice that they are slightly parted, allowing you to come closer, and you take a steadying breath before reaching between you, pulling at the fabric of his tank top.

“Stay still and you shouldn’t get hurt,” you whisper, ignoring the heaviness of his piercing gaze on you.

It burns right through you, and you have to tame the beats of your heart at the feeling of the warm skin of his shoulder against the back of your fingers as you bring your other hand forward, until you’ve started cutting his shirt.

It’s stuck to his side where blood has dried, and he winces but remains still and silent as you keep going, pulling on it a little harder to be able to cut. The moment stretches into infinity, because you can’t help but take your time. It reminds you of how you’d used to run your fingers on his back, under his shirt, when you napped in the field in the summertime. In an idyllic world where gangs and violence and war were mere inventions of the media, and not a reality that surrounded you.

You’d loved the field. The wildflowers, the open air, the way it was just you and him and a few lazy bumblebees as clouds lazily crossed the sky above. You were so young then, so innocent. Hands unstained from blood, from his blood.

Because as you cut, the hand touching his shirt stains with blood. You pale at the sight of it, but you keep going, pushing through until you’re done, gently pulling the fabric from his body until he’s sitting there, shirtless, with a long wound on his ribs.

You can’t help but notice his toned chest and the defined abs on his stomach. Though blood mars his skin, turning it into a piece of violence, Choi San is still beautiful. Beautiful in a dark, dangerous way that has you glance outside, making sure no one is looking.

But the streets are empty, void of life at this time of the night. At least, they mostly always are.

“You will need stitches,” you state again as if you both don’t know already.

“I can’t…”

An idea forms in your brain. It’s a stupid idea, and you don’t even know why it crosses your mind.

Your uncle has a hunting cabin far in the woods. He’s a nurse himself, and he’s always kept everything over there in case someone got injured and he had to stitch them up. You haven’t gone in forever, but you still remember the tall trees, the deep forest scent that reminds you of autumn and leaves and grey days spent reading by the fireplace.

You never went hunting, but you did accompany your father when he went, needing an escape from the city once in a while. An escape from a life that was slowly becoming too real.

Your uncle is currently halfway across the country, so you know you’d be alone at the cabin. You glance at your laptop over your shoulder – you have three days off in front of you before your next class on Monday. Indeed, the Friday class is pre-recorded and to watch online in your free time, and you figure you can always watch it some other time.

So you turn towards Choi San, almost surprised that he’s real and he’s still sitting in front of you, honey skin cut open on his ribs.

“I might know a place where you can go,” you admit, with a small voice, surprising both you and him. Because you doubt he expects you to want to help, after tonight.

“What?” he asks.

“My uncle’s cabin,” you remind him, because you’ve told him about it all those years ago. “He should have all that I need to stitch you up.”

San looks down at himself. “You’ve just cut my shirt open.”

It sounds a little dumbfounded, and you can’t help the nervous laugh that falls from your mouth. Because even though it doesn’t look too deep, the wound still is terrifying in and of itself.

“I’ll bandage it,” you whisper. “Before we go.”

He seems like he ponders for a time. You watch the debate across his features, his eyes falling to a spot on your chin. He looks sad, troubled and defeated. “I can’t… I can’t do this to you.”

You ignore his words, carefully washing his side. You avoid the cut and try to be as gentle as you can, but his muscles still flex as he clenches his fists from the pain.

He’s strong. That much hasn’t changed. Because he doesn’t make any sound as you finish washing him and then patch him up with those same careful hands. And when you move to his face, cleaning the blood, his eyes flutter shut, and he sighs softly.

He looks so much like he looked then that your heart aches, and you find yourself blinking away tears for this man who’s had it so rough he believed joining a gang would save him.

“I should have come to you before,” he murmurs. “You’re much gentler than Hongjoong.”

You don’t know the guy he mentioned, and you don’t feel like asking. Don’t feel like acknowledging his words, so you just finish with his cheek before stepping away from the peaceful aura that was treacherously pulling you in.

Like all those years ago, you reckon.

“Let me make a call,” you say, turning away from him as you move to the counter. You feel the weight of his eyes between your shoulder blades as you get your phone from next to your laptop. You call your boss, and as someone that’s never called in sick before, you feel anxiety flush through you.

Because you’re not sick. And how could you tell him that you need to take care of your ex-boyfriend of eight years ago?

Seokhyun picks up on the first ring, voice groggy with sleep when he mutters, “Hello?”

“Boss,” you greet him. You scrape your throat and spare a look towards San who’s watching you curiously. “An emergency came up, and I have to leave the diner.” You swallow the lump in your throat that’s formed from lying, and then you add, “There haven’t been any customers all night, so I was wondering… would you be comfortable with me closing for the rest of the night?”

Your boss says your name, a little reproachfully. But then he sighs, because he knows just as well as you what a good employee you’ve always been. “Are you going to be able to come in tomorrow night?” he asks.

You pull at dry skin on your bottom lip, assessing San’s state. You could always come back to the city for work…

“You know what, I know you’ve got that big exam coming up,” your boss says, sighing into the phone. “Why don’t you take the next week off so you can take care of your emergency and focus on your studies?”

If Seokhyun wasn’t a fifty-three year old married and father of three children man, you think you’d ask him to marry you right now.

“That would be really helpful,” you tell him, gratitude dripping from your voice. “Are you sure that won’t be a problem for the diner?”

“The diner won’t lose profit if it closes for three nights in the week,” he points out. “I’ll see if I can get you replaced for the evening shift on Sunday.”

You thank him again as he grumbles that it’s nothing. He wishes you good luck, and when the line goes silent, you finally meet San’s gaze again.

“All sorted out,” you tell him, offering him a nod. “Let me just close the diner, and then we can go.”

He nods, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. He observes you as you do so, quickly closing the diner like you’ve done about a hundred times before, though this time you’re far more excited to go. You grab a plastic bag to put away the bloody swabs, and though he groans in pain, San gets up to help you clean the blood that stained the cheap leather of the booth.

Soon enough, you’re ready to go, and you walk outside with the plastic bag in one hand and your backpack on your shoulders as San chuckles, looking down at himself.

“Do you have a shirt for me?” he asks as he follows you out.

You lock the door behind you before glancing at him. He’s quite the sight, naked from the waist up and bandaged like he is, and you can’t help the small chuckle you let out as you glance towards your car, that’s luckily parked right in front.

Though it’s a deadbeat car, you trust it enough to know it’ll make the trip to your uncle’s cabin, even in the middle of the night.

“My ex left some sweaters on the back seat,” you admit as you unlock your car doors and open the trunk to put your backpack and the plastic bag in there. There’s no chance in hell you’ll leave a plastic bag full of bloody swabs near your work.

You see San nod from the periphery of your vision, and then he’s opening the door to the backseat. “Your ex, huh?” he mutters as he grabs a sweater you used to love wearing and that you haven’t convinced yourself to give back to Hyunmin.

He carefully puts it on, and you’re pretty sure just the motion is going to make blood seep through the bandage. Somehow, you don’t care that it might stain Hyunmin’s sweater.

Hyunmin was a cheater, and even though you never really loved him, it took you months before you found the strength to break up with him. Needless to say, he doesn’t deserve his clothes back.

“Yeah,” you flatly say as you move towards the driver’s seat. You sit, and San follows you, naturally, as if you’ve done it a thousand times before.

As you turn the keys in the engine, San asks, “Have you dated a lot?”

You bristle at the question, shooting him an embarrassed look. “Have you?”

“No,” he replies, features fully serious.

You purse your lips, focusing on the road as you start driving. You need to put gas in the car if you want to get to your uncle’s cabin, so you make your way towards the closest one. It takes you a moment before you register how San has stiffened next to you.

“Can we…” he trails off, and he sinks in the seat, trying to hide. “I can’t be seen here.”

You immediately press on the accelerator, and your car speeds down the street as you pass in front of the gas station. You glance at San only when you’re stopped at a red light. He’s pulled the hood of the sweater over his features, and he’s doing his best to hide.

“Where can we stop?” you ask.

“Next town over,” he answers. “I just can’t be seen in Bangtan territory.”

Right. You have no knowledge of how the gangs have divided your city, but you’re not surprised Bangtan has this part of town. It’s the industrial area, and you assume there’s a lot of money to be made around here.

“Sounds good,” you gently say, and then you’re driving again, the light turning green, allowing you to speed away into the night.

You drive silently all the way to the next town, watching your city disappear to be replaced by trees until buildings reappear. San is looking outside the window, and you can’t help but wonder how he’s been doing, truly. How he managed to get injured like he is right now, and mostly, if his dreams of running away still occupy his thoughts.

He had begged you, the evening you had broken up with him. Told you he’d make enough money to be able to move with you across the country and build yourself a nice little life over there. You had wanted to believe him for so long, until your parents had opened your eyes on just how he was trying to make money.

“Do you need anything?” you ask as you finally reach the gas station, pulling into the driveway. You park next to a pump, turning to face him only to find him already watching you.

“I don’t have money to pay for food,” he admits. He shuts his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. “I lost my wallet in the… altercation.”

You gently put a hand on his forearm. “Hey, my treat. We have to eat.”

He inhales deeply, letting out the breath slowly, before he nods. “Alright. I owe you.”

You reckon he’ll owe you for a lot more than just food at a gas station, but you choose not to say it. Not when you feel like someone’s watching over your shoulder, watching you drive away in the night with the person they are looking for.

You know it’s paranoia. No one followed you out of the city and into this town. It just feels too strange to have him here, with you. In your car, on the way to your uncle’s cabin, as if eight years have gone out the window. As if you can still be young and innocent.

It’s stupid, because you can’t. Time has changed him; time has changed you. And in just a few years you’ll be a doctor, and you’ll finally get out of this hellhole of a city, of its dangerous streets.

Of its equally dangerous man, that you know could probably pull you back in with one of his many well-crafted lies, one of the dreams he weaved expertly, whispering it into your ear.

You take a deep breath before getting out of the car. You go into the station, grab snacks for the next few days and then head to the counter. The guy behind nods as you approach, and you pay for the food and for gas before wishing him a good night and returning outside. San is still squatting in the car, clearly trying to hide, and you put the food on the backseat before putting gas in.

You watch his profile as you put gas in the car. Back when you were dating, his features weren’t as sharp, as glass-cutting as they now are. He used to sport a rounder face, but today you wonder if you’d get a papercut on his jaw. You wouldn’t even be surprised.

When you’re done with gas, you sit back next to him, and you quickly bring the engine back to life before pulling out in the street. As soon as you exit the city, darkness falls on the two of you, tall trees standing on the two sides of the road again. San doesn’t speak much, and it doesn’t take you long to realize he’s dozing off next to you.

“Hey, everything okay?” you ask, suddenly worried that he might have lost too much blood. Which, you reckon, you should have thought about earlier.

He sighs, glancing towards you. “Just tired.”

“Don’t…” you trail off. “Don’t fall asleep.”

He chuckles. “You’re afraid I’m going to die on you?”

“Choi San,” you warn. “Don’t you dare say stuff like that.”

He smiles, but you reckon he’s a little pale. Or at least you think he is, in the silver light of the moon up above. “I think I’m fine. Just…” He offers you a weak smile, though you’ve returned your attention on the winding road. “Just exhausted. I haven’t slept in three days.”

Worry clutches your heart, and you nibble at some dry skin on your bottom lip. “What’s been going on?”

He slightly shrugs. “I can’t tell you. I don’t want to put you in danger…”

“Am I not already in danger by just helping you?”

The silence is telling enough. And it remains for a while until San finally speaks.

“I was in a gunfight a week ago. Accidentally shot the youngest member of the other gang. He didn’t make it, and the gang has put a bounty on my head. Ateez took my gun and told me to run; I laughed in their face and said I wasn’t a coward. Then I got attacked by two guys with knives earlier, and I made it to the diner because I had nowhere else to go.”

Now the silence is deafening, heavy, and you think you’ve altogether stopped breathing. You’re struck with an image of San in the summer sun, smiling wide as he put a flower behind your ear, claiming you were the most beautiful girl he had ever met. The contrast with who he is now – a product of night, shrouded in darkness with no hint of that smile on his lips – is stark. And you wonder when’s the last time he has seen the sun, when’s the last time his life wasn’t violence like this.

When you say nothing, he scoffs, resting his head against the window as if it’d allow him to escape. Because clearly he wants to escape – he’s just told you that he’s killed someone after all.

And you don’t know what to say. Don’t know how to react to someone confessing murder. All you can do is stare at the street ahead, hoping you won’t end up in a gunfight with San. Because where would that lead you, other than in the dramatics of death?

You don’t speak for the rest of the ride. You don’t think he sleeps either, and dawn is clinging to the far horizon when you get to your uncle’s cabin, in a secluded forest that seems straight out of a fairytale. Instead of bringing you awe like it usually does, the sight of it makes you think of all the murder mysteries you had been obsessed with when you were younger, before you realized how horrible the real world truly is.

Neither of you move, as you turn off the engine of the car, and you fall into even more of a tensed silence, though this time you can hear the chirping of the early birds. It’s peaceful, so peaceful you can barely even grasp how tangible the presence of San is next to you. The presence of his actions too, looming between the two of you like a sword of Damocles.

You move first. Putting a hand on the knob, hoping to escape the heaviness into the dawn. San speaks before you can though, and your heart stops in your chest.

“I never meant for him to get hurt,” he murmurs, and you think he’s speaking to himself more than to you. “Everything went too fast, my gun was in my hand and I just… in situations like these, you don’t have time to think.” He leans his head against the headrest, eyes closing. “All I can picture since it’s happened is him falling and blood. Like a fucking blossoming rose, all around him.” He rests his closed fist on his forehead, rubbing it hard. “I haven’t been able to sleep; I’ve been sick every time I’ve tried to eat…”

“San,” you interrupt as you break and break for him. Because this is the San you know. This is the young boy that just wanted to escape and live in a better world. You can almost taste his remorse, taste his regret and shame. It’s poisonous, treacherous, a slippery slope that can’t lead anywhere good. “Let’s get you in. I want to get that cut on your ribs checked.”

He falls silent, and for a moment you feel guilty. Because what if he had more to say? You don’t even think you would have been able to listen. You need the escape, and you know he’ll permit it. Because the man next to you is a broken man, a fracture of what he could have been.

You step out of the car, blinking away tears – from the anxiety, from the exhaustion, and perhaps even from the pain you feel for him. He follows you, wincing as he swings his legs out of the car. He stumbles a little as he stands, but soon enough, he grows steady on his feet, and his attention moves to you. You climb the stairs of the cabin, lifting the rug to find the small trap that leads to the spare key. The padlock is rusted, but it stands strong as you put in the code, and a click is heard when you pull on it.

A few seconds later, you’ve unlocked the front door, pushing it open to reveal the cabin as you remember it. Not a single item is out of place, though dust covers everything, a clear indication that no one has been here in years. You let San in, before going back to the car to get the food you bought, bringing it in and putting it in the fridge. Three full gas canisters hide under the counter, and you sigh in relief – you’ll be able to get the generator on for some electricity.

You motion to the kitchen table. “Have a seat,” you tell San, who somehow looks like a lost puppy. “I’ll get the first aid kit.”

He nods, remaining silent, eyes downcast. You only move when he’s seated, heading to the bathroom area of the cabin, where you startle a spider that almost makes you scream out loud. You keep it in, heart beating out of your chest as you get the kit before moving back into the main area.

San is leaning against the chair, eyes closed. He senses you approaching, and one of his eyes cracks open to watch you carefully, a little like he did earlier, at the diner. It looks so similar to how he used to look at you, when you joined him at the field, that you stop in your tracks, heart squeezing once again.

You don’t like the way Choi San is making you feel, that’s for sure.

“Take off the sweater,” you tell him, putting the kit down on the table. You put some clean linen next to it, to put what you need over it, before washing your hands with the disinfectant you find in the kit. You put latex gloves on after, and then you fish wire and a surgical needle from the first aid kit that you carefully put down on the linen once you’ve torn the packages open.

As you were doing all of that, San took off the shirt, struggling a little as it meant he had to lift his right arm, which pulled at the skin of his ribs, where the cut clearly has started bleeding again. Though, if you’re honest to yourself, you’re pretty sure he’s been bleeding this whole time, even though it probably was just some fine rivulets.

Indeed, the cut isn’t all that deep, you remind yourself. Mostly because you don’t want to even think about the consequences of the blood loss. As long as he stays awake, you figure he’s fine – he would have lost consciousness a while ago if he was losing a lot of blood.

You remove the bandage you had carefully put in place earlier, wincing at the sight of the blood that’s seeped through it. San keeps his eyes close, lets you clean his skin again in peace, and you feel sick to your stomach as you realize you don’t have any anesthetics for the pain that stitching him up will cause. Indeed, the pocket in which your uncle usually leaves the lidocaine is empty, and you remember that he’s had to use it for your dad when he accidentally cut himself with a machete last summer.

“Huh,” you let out. You chuckle nervously. “It’s going to hurt like a bitch.”

His eyes narrow, and he clenches his jaw. “Don’t worry about it.”

You worry at your bottom lip, holding his gaze as you gauge if he’s serious. When his gaze doesn’t falter, you offer him a curt nod, before getting the wire and needle ready under his watchful eyes.

You hand him some linen. “To bite on,” you explain as he just cocks an eyebrow quizzically. That makes his gaze widen a little as if he’s just now realizing how serious you were about it hurting, but he takes it nonetheless.

You think about the theory of how to stitch someone up. It was in your previous block – you watched hours of videos of it in an attempt to desensitize yourself to it. You don’t think it compares to the real thing, but at least you’re somehow confident of what you’re doing when you start.

San startles, groaning in pain, and you offer him a glare. “Don’t move, or it’ll be worse.”

A drop of sweat rolls down his temple, but he still nods. Even as you keep on stitching him, he remains as still as he physically can, though you don’t think he even notices how he’s trembling. Or maybe that’s you – you don’t even know.

Somehow, you make it through the whole thing. You think San might have passed out at some point, but he’s wide awake when you finish the knot to keep the stitches in place, looking up to meet his face.

He’s panting and tears of pain wet his waterline. He blinks them away as he takes the linen out of his mouth, dropping it on the table.

“Fuck,” he curses.

“Let me…” you trail off, mind set on getting something to at least help him cool off, because he’s clearly been heating up.

You grab a washcloth and a small bucket, and head outside to walk down to the lake. You fill the bucket halfway, and take a few seconds to observe the calm surrounding you, hoping that it can ease the nerves rolling inside your heart like dark clouds do on the horizon whenever a storm is coming. You feel it in your bones – you have a murderer in your uncle’s cabin.

You have to keep that in mind. To not let Choi San in like you did when you were a young impressionable teenager.

You sigh, closing your eyes to breathe in the fresh morning air. The sun is peaking over the horizon now, and you bask in its hesitant rays for all of twenty seconds before you convince yourself to go back in. You’ve got a patient to take care of, after all.

San hasn’t moved an inch while you were outside. The only indication that he hasn’t died on you is the groan he lets out as you put the wet washcloth on his forehead. You tap his cheek gently, as if to say, ‘suck it up, I’m just trying to take care of you’.

Which is exactly what you’re doing, isn’t it?

You watch him carefully for a few seconds before tapping his shoulder this time around.

“There’s a bed,” you remind him. “You’d be better passing out in a bed.”

He groans again, cracking an eye open. “I’ve just been repeatedly poked with a needle,” he drawls. “Give me a second.”

It makes you laugh. Because of the nerves, maybe. You’re not quite sure. All you know is that you’re laughing, and San opens his second eye to look at you as if you’re crazy. And you laugh for longer than you should – you’re exhausted after all, especially considering you haven’t slept since yesterday morning. So far, adrenaline has been keeping you going, but you can tell you’re about to crash.

“Sorry,” you apologize once you calm down. “This has just been…”

“A lot,” San finishes for you. “I know.”

You nod once before glancing at the doorway to the bedroom. It has no door, as your uncle and your dad usually come here alone and they don’t mind sharing a bed. It makes you realize that you’ll have to share it with San, which you reckon you should have thought about before. Because there’s no way in hell you’ll share a bed with him, especially after he’s told you why he’s being hunted.

There’s always the option of going into town later today so you can get a sleeping bag and floor mat to sleep on. But you’re far too tired right now to even consider driving, so you motion to the bed once again.

“Stick to your side; I’ll stick to mine.”

He smirks though he’s extremely pale. A lot paler than he was before, and you swallow a sudden lump in your throat. Because what if he dies? What are you supposed to do with him if he dies?

“You’ll have to help me to get to the bed ‘cause I don’t think I can move,” he says once his smirk dies. He curses under his breath. “I’m so pathetic.”

You put your hand on his shoulder again, reassuringly, eyes holding his. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re hurt. Everyone is pathetic when they’re hurt.”

He gulps before nodding once. It takes everything in you not to offer him more comfort because you feel like the slope would tilt forwards far too much if you did. Instead, you help him to get up, wincing as he puts most of his weight on you, clutching his side with one hand. You’re infinitely aware of how his skin is sticky with sweat, but you ignore it as you slowly walk to the bedroom.

You can only hope the stitches will hold because you don’t think he’d be able to withstand another round of them.

You finally reach the bedroom and help San sit on the side of the bed. He sighs, eyes shut tightly, and he doesn’t move for a time. When he does, it’s to stiffly lie down on his side.

“You might want to sleep on your back,” you inform him. “I don’t want you rolling around and messing up the stitches.”

He glares at you, though he looks like he’s already half out of it. You hold his gaze until he gives in, turning on his back with a deep sigh. You arrange pillows around him to make sure he’s not moving, and by the time you’re done, his breathing has already evened out.

For a moment, you just watch him sleep. You see him in the field where young love blossomed like a trillion wildflowers. You can almost breathe his pollen again, can almost feel the softness of his skin under your fingertips.

But he’s not what he used to be. Back then, you felt like you had discovered something new. Love, infatuation, affection, and desire, all in the form of the man sleeping next to you. You’d used to kiss, dance and sing to a song only your souls knew, and now you don’t think you recognize him anymore.

As much as he is him, he’s also but just the ghost of what he was. He’s trouble, danger in the shape of innocence, and you recall his words from earlier. You recall the despair, the regret and sorrow that haunted him after he told you. You can’t let him get to your head.

You reckon sleep might help. Though you’re afraid he’s going to waste away in his sleep, so you set up an alarm every hour, before climbing on the other side of the bed. You don’t pull on the covers, mostly because the cabin is warm, and you can imagine it’s just going to get hotter as the sun goes up and the summer heat slowly sizzles into the countryside.

It’s a good thing you put an alarm on. Because when it rings an hour later, you don’t even remember falling asleep. You’re pretty sure the second your head touched the mattress, you were out to the land of dreams. You groan, mostly because you’ve got a slight headache, but you power through it to make sure San is still breathing.

When you see his chest moving up and down steadily, you let yourself fall back asleep.

This goes on for the whole morning, and you only force yourself to stay up when your phone shows that it’s passed noon. As you had suspected earlier, the cabin has gotten extremely warm, so you force yourself out of bed to open all the windows, and then you use the washcloth from earlier to gently wash San’s face of the sweat.

He doesn’t even flinch in his sleep, but he’s still breathing and for now, that’s all that matters.

You head back to the main room, grabbing a pack of chips from where you had left the food earlier, and then you move outside to sit by the lake. Mostly because you need to put distance between you and San, but also just because the childhood memories of this place have you in their hold, and they’ve decided to make you miss the times when you’d swim around with your cousins before both of them had moved out of town.

One day, it’s going to be you too. You already know where you’d go – on the other side of the country, as far away from here as possible. You just want to forget all about the place you grew up in, and you know that, in a few years, you will have forgotten.

Though you’re pretty sure a certain piercing gaze will haunt you forever, especially after the events of today.

When another hour passes, you head back inside, putting the empty bag of chips in the trash before you check up on San. He’s still asleep, but this time he doesn’t look as pale as he did earlier. You assume it’s going to take him a while before he wakes, so you head to the nearest town to grab more food. Mostly to busy yourself, but also just because you know San will need a place to hide for a lot longer than just the weekend. Might as well make sure you have enough for him to survive a couple of days. In town, you also stop to eat at a small café on a small terrasse in the shade of a few trees, and then you grab the food you think you might need at the grocery store.

It’s the middle of the afternoon when you get back, realizing that you forgot to buy a floor mat. As you spy San, who hasn’t moved an inch since he’s fallen asleep, you figure that sleeping next to him tonight should be fine.

As long as his presence in your vicinity doesn’t drag you down memory lane again.

You bought some meat in town, so you head to the little shack outside where the generator is hiding. There’s a gas canister right next to it – also full – and you busy yourself for the next twenty minutes trying to figure out how to get it started. When it finally rumbles to life, you head back inside to put the meat in the fridge, which has finally come to life.

When you hear a groan, you quickly jog to San’s side, fully expecting to find him awake. Surprisingly, he’s still asleep, and you stay next to him for a full minute, thinking he might groan again, though he remains entirely silent.

If it wasn’t for his chest moving up and down steadily, you’d believe him to be dead. But now that a few hours have passed, you’re pretty positive he’ll make it, though he’s probably going to sleep through the day and possibly through the next one too.

Which leaves you in the most peaceful atmosphere you’ve been in for a while, with the opportunity to study as you listen to the rush of wind in the leaves of the tall trees surrounding the cabin. You sit outside, this time near the fireplace, and you study until your stomach grumbles, indicating that it is time for you to cook.

You cook the meat you’ve bought on the grill outside, feeling thankful that your dad once showed you how to use it. You go back in to grab a bottle of water before you eat, and you’re bent in the fridge when you hear San moan again, and this time it sounds like he’s saying something.

You gently close the fridge, making your way to the bedroom. San hasn’t moved, but his features are creased in a frown, and sweat is rolling down his temples. You wet the washcloth, gently wipe his face, and you’re about to leave when he moans again.

It takes you far too long to realize he’s apologizing. What for, you can’t really tell. Though you remember his troubled eyes this morning, you remember his story, and your heart breaks in your chest.

He’s haunted. You think the ghost of the dead guy will probably haunt him for the rest of his life. And suddenly you’re struck thinking maybe, maybe if you hadn’t broken his heart all those years ago, you could have saved him from the gang.

Maybe you could have opened his eyes.

You still remember the break-up like it was yesterday. You remember the rain, him leaving without once looking back, but mostly you remember the words you had uttered. Ghosts of their own, that feel more real now that he’s come back into your life.

*****

                “You’re going to get hurt!” you yelled. “You’ll get hurt, San. What are you thinking?”

He scoffed, shaking his head, and little droplets of water shot all around him. “I’ll be careful. We need the money if we ever want to make it out of this shit town.”

You blinked away tears, folding your arms on your chest as you tried to keep your heart from breaking. Though you reckoned it had broken when your parents had told you what they knew about San. When your father had mentioned Ateez, and you’d truly realized what it meant that he was part of a gang. San, your sweet, soft, and bubbly San, in a gang that had murdered someone just a few weeks ago.

“But that’s not a way to make money!” you screamed, hoping he’d understand. Hoping he’d hear the truth in your words, hoping he’d change his mind before it was too late. “Why don’t you get a part-time job, like me? Then we can go to college and get jobs in a nice city on the other side of the country!”

“It won’t work,” he drawled, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I want to be out soon, not in a few years. I barely even have a roof over my head, Y/n…”

“Come live with me,” you choked out around the lump in your throat.

You both knew fully well that your parents would never let him come near you again.

“I can’t.”

You cried, hiding your face in your hands. You cried thinking of the field where you usually met, thinking about its beauty now fading into ugliness. You thought about the wildflowers, withered and dead as autumn had come. You thought about how you were convinced you knew what love was.

“What’s the point?” you asked then. “What’s the point of putting your life in danger? Life isn’t some sort of a game, Choi San. Worse, what if you have to hurt someone? Do you think you’ll be able to pull the trigger?”

He clenched his jaw, hard. “Do me a favour and stop asking questions.”

You closed your eyes, feeling sick to your stomach. Because it couldn’t be. Not San. Not your smiley San, who’d always weave dandelions crowns with you, as you’d pretend you were a queen and a king of that field you had found. An empty field, an abandoned farmland that was just yours and his to explore. That had been home to your first kiss, and all of those that had followed.

Now you wondered why he had always wanted to meet there in the first place. Was he trying to hide?

"If you love me, you’ll get out while you still can,” you said as your tears suddenly ended.

There was a weird sense of clarity in you, suddenly. You remembered the day you had fallen in love, the moment you had first kissed. You remembered the stars in the sky above, the meteors falling for the two of you. You remembered the music on the radio you had brought. Some Arctic Monkeys song about heartbreak, about moving on and failing to do so. As a joke, when it had ended, you had asked San, “Do you think love is a laserquest?”

His answer had been cryptic, mysterious, things that had made you believe he was the one. “Maybe. Maybe it is, and I’ve shot you in the back while you weren’t looking. Maybe I’m that annoying player that won’t leave you alone.”

“I’ll never find you annoying,” you had replied.

But today, watching the rain rolling down his face like tears, you realized that maybe, maybe you should have seen the warning behind his words. Because this betrayal, it came like he had shot you in the back – you didn’t think you’d be able to recover from it.

The past dwindled away as San spoke again, reminding you of the question you had just asked him. “It’s not a question of love, Y/n. I do love you. But it’s a question of survival.”

You laughed, coldly, and then you said, “You know what? You’re full of shit.”

“Alright then. Do me a favour and tell me to go away.”

“Go away.”

A long silence had lingered between you, voided of that summer warmth that had you falling in love. Like a piece was missing from the contract of you loving him, and him loving you. And you realized, maybe you had never really loved each other anyway.

He nodded once when you didn’t say anything else, before turning away. And you watched him walk away. You watched him thinking he was going to turn around and tell you this was just some twisted joke, the prank of the century. Only, he never turned around, and he disappeared behind the bend in the road, never to be seen again, cracking your heart open and splitting it in half.

*****

                The sun sets, like an ending to a dream. You’ve always liked the end – you think if you could choose, you’d want to witness the end of the world. The nostalgia, the beauty of endings… it’s something you understand now that you didn’t understand when you were younger. Because you and San ending, it had led to you focusing on high school. It had allowed you to get in the good college in town, with a scholarship that covered most of your expenses before you made it to med school.

There’s beauty in knowing losing San has allowed you to live out your dreams.

There’s less beauty in knowing that San has been sleeping for almost thirty-four hours now. Last time you checked, he was still breathing, but you’re starting to be afraid that he just won’t wake up. It’s irrational, you know – after the blood loss it makes sense that he’d sleep for a long time.

But it leaves you with far too much time on your hands to think and revisit the past. You’ve been doing it all day – thinking about the fight with your parents that had led to your break-up with San, thinking about that damn rainy evening he had walked away without once looking back. Thinking of the field, of sunshine and star falls and the sweetness of a first kiss. Thinking that, then, you thought you knew what it was like to be in love.

You haven’t dated anyone serious since San. Hyunmin was a distraction for a while, but you never were into it. Not like you were into San. There’s a guy in your class though, that you’ve been chatting with for a couple of weeks. He’s sweet, innocent, and the perspective of a future seems less scary with him around. He’s mentioned he wants to move across the country once too, and since then you’ve started talking more, the similarity of your wishes drawing you closer.

All day today you’ve been feeling like you’re slowly drifting away though. Slowly getting entrapped in a web you’re not sure you’ll be able to walk away from.

You decide to swim, seeking the fresh clarity only cold water can bring to you. You don’t have a swimsuit with you, but since San is half-dead in bed you figure it doesn’t matter. So you strip naked, feet making squelching sounds in the mud by the lake side as you step in the water.

The sharp cold has you holding your breath, but you don’t slow down. You’ve never slowed down in life – when you make a decision, you bring it to completion. And you’ve decided to swim, so swim you will.

The warm summer evening breeze catches in your hair as you take another step forward, the water now lapping at your thighs. You dread the moment it’ll hit your core, knowing that that’s the worst part, but you breathe in deeply, moving forward. Because there’s no moving backwards now.

When the water hits, your eyes flutter shut, and you hold in the wince that threatens to escape the mask of calm your features hold. Soon enough, you get deep enough to swim, and the movements bring welcomed warmth to your limbs as you flop on your back, tits out of the water.

Your uncle’s cabin is the only cabin in a fifteen miles radius. You know you won’t be interrupted, and so you let the water cool you down. Calm you down, hold you in its fresh embrace. It undoes knots in your back that have formed from worrying about San, but also from worrying about college.

From worrying that you will never be enough. You think it’s a normal anxiety to have, something most people must feel as they go through the trials of college, not knowing what to expect on the other side. A nice career, perhaps, though the perspective of failure is there too, looming over the horizon.

You sigh, and your eyes flutter open as your legs move mindlessly under you, making sure to keep you afloat. You look up at the azury ceiling over your head, so far away as it slowly turns gold. Out of touch, out of grasp. You watch the fluffy white clouds that are lazily crossing the sky, turning fiery in the sunset, as if they have all the time in the universe. And you wish you were them, up above. With nothing to worry about.

Without a Choi San on the brink of death lying about twenty meters away from you. You sigh, and you turn in the water, with the purpose of swimming again. Though your gaze catches movement by the cabin, and your head snaps towards it to see none other than the supposedly Choi San, standing on the deck with a hand clutching his side.

You shriek, looking down at yourself. Most of you is hidden, but you don’t know how long he’s been there. Don’t know if he’s seen you naked as you looked up at the sky.

He doesn’t move, only watches you where you’re swimming.

“Can you please look away?” you say from the water, and he has the nerves to lean against the railing, eyes still boring into where you’re swimming. You think his gaze might be so hot the water will boil, and it startles you into action.

You start walking out of the water, pointing towards the door. “You shouldn’t be up, Choi San.”

“I feel fine,” he says as you take another step forward, and the water barely hides your tits anymore.

That makes him turn around, as he offers you a little bit of privacy. You’re quick to get out of the water and wrap yourself in the towel you brought outside, and then you collect your clothes to head back to the cabin. San dutifully keeps his gaze away until you’re climbing the three steps leading to the deck, and it’s then that his eyes trail to you again.

“Thank you for the water,” he says, offering you a tentative smile.

You left water by his bedside earlier today hoping it will coax him to wake up. You’re strangely surprised that it worked.

“You should go sit inside,” you scold him, only half-heartedly. Because seeing him up and about reassures you, somehow.

He cocks an eyebrow, a smile playing at the corner of his lips. “The weather is beautiful, I’d rather sit outside.”

You roll your eyes, but you do let him walk down the stairs to sit by the fireplace while you go inside to take a quick shower and get dressed. You decide to make some food for him, though you know he shouldn’t eat too much right now, after not having eaten for a while. He has to start slowly, and you don’t even know if he’s hungry anyway.

You settle for preparing a cup of chicken noodle soup for him, so at least it isn’t too heavy on his stomach. You bring it to him outside, as he’s just calmly observing the lake.

“Thank you,” he says, voice small as he grabs the cup and the spoon.

You sit next to him, trying not to watch him eat too much. His hair is sticking to his forehead in some places, and you have the distinct thought that he’ll probably need to shower. At least there’s plenty of rain water in the bucket for the water pump.

“What have you been doing while I was out?” he asks.

You spare him a quick glance before losing your gaze in the rocks of the fireplace. “I’ve studied. Checked up on you. Not much honestly.”

He chuckles. “I’d argue that caring for someone is a lot.”

You glance at him, cheeks burning at the sight of his teasing smile. “Not really.”

He chuckles again, but doesn’t say anything more before eating another spoonful of soup. He’s almost done with the cup when he actually does speak, asking, “How long was I out?”

“A day and a half,” you answer. “I’m actually surprised you haven’t slept longer.”

You can hear the smirk in his voice when he says, “I’m made of tough stuff.”

You snicker, but you don’t say anything, just focusing on where you’re kicking at the dirt. When he’s done with the cup, he puts it down on the ground next to him, before sitting back in the chair. He stretches out his legs in front of him, sighing deeply.

“I still feel out of it,” he admits, and you meet his gaze.

“You can sleep more,” you tell him. “I’d just like to check on the…”

You don’t even have to finish your sentence. He immediately turns so his side is to you, and you have to admit you’ve done a perfectly good job with the stitches.

“So?” he asks.

“All good.” You pat his shoulder. “You can sit comfortably again.”

He’s smiling when he does so, and his gaze wanders to the lake once again. “I’m sorry I…” he trails off, and he chuckles softly. “I’m sorry I interrupted your little swim earlier.”

You have the decency to flush furiously red, and you shrug your shoulders. “No worries, I wasn’t expecting you to be up so soon.”

You fall in a comfortable silence, surprisingly so. Rare stars dot the darkening sky up above, and all that can be heard for a moment is the flap of a bird’s wing as it moves from branches to branches in the trees by the water. The breeze picks up as you watch the little bird, and the leaves dance, loudly so. You’d think it’d be deafening in the silence between you and him, but it’s strangely reassuring.

As if, after all, you found your way back to the field. Only this time it’s completely different, as if decades have passed between you. At least, that’s how it feels like.

You notice San has dozed off in the chair next to you when you were about to speak to him again. To ask him how he’s truly been, in the years between then and now. Hoping to avoid mentioning what led to him coming to you, yesterday, a whole eternity ago.

You watch him, heart aching in your chest. Aching to reach out and brush his hair away from his forehead, aching to heal the cut on his cheek with a gentle swipe of your fingers. If only medicine was so simple…

It seems the peace of the early evening wasn’t going to stay around, because you notice dark clouds rolling in the distance, streaks of lightning cutting through them. Slowly inching closer, menacingly so, and you gently wake San up with your hand on his wrist.

He startles awake, hand shooting to his waist, finding nothing there. It startles you, and you both stare at each other for a moment until you realize what he was looking for.

His gun.

“San…” you let out and he runs his hand through his hair, eyes falling shut as he breathes in and out raggedly.

“Sorry.”

“San, I’m so sorry.”

He doesn’t open his eyes, refuses to let you see the vulnerability you glimpsed behind his piercing gaze. Refuses to acknowledge that he’s terrified, deadly so.

“Let’s go in,” you tell him, softly. Because you’re afraid you’ll spook him, when he’s clearly been living in fear long enough. “There’s a storm coming.”

He nods, carefully getting up without sparing you a glance. He heads inside, hand clutching his side again, while you pick up the chicken noodle soup cup before following him.

You’ve refilled the generator before swimming, so you know it’s been charging the batteries for a while now. You don’t fear ending up in the dark with San, and there’s also always the option of using the lamps and candles your uncle always leave here in case of an emergency.

The storm doesn’t roll in until a little later. You’ve forced San to put a shirt on – mostly so your eyes would stop betraying you, dropping to his toned body whenever he talked to you. You’re currently sitting on the couch, and as the rain starts, hammering against the window behind you, you pull your legs to your chest, wrapping your arms comfortably around them.

“How hard do the storms hit here?” he asks, eyes trailed to the world outside.

You follow his gaze, right as wind picks up to make the water hit the window even harder, creating a cacophony that forces you to speak louder for him to hear. “Pretty hard.”

He nods, and he glances once at you. “Fun.”

You smile, because you’ve always liked storms. Have always found them electrifying, energizing.

“Do you remember when we used to go to the field when it rained?” San asks, taking you by surprise.

Making your heart clench so hard in your chest you have to take a wobbly breath in. If he notices he doesn’t say.

“We were always in that field,” you remind him. “No matter the weather.”

It’s his turn to smile fondly. “It got so pretty with all the wildflowers. But you were afraid of the bees.”

“Bees are scary!” You laugh, and he echoes it with a soft chuckle. “You’re the one that almost pissed yourself when we saw the rat.”

That makes him laugh, and he winces in pain clutching his side. “Gosh, is it supposed to keep on hurting like this?”

It douses your enthusiasm and your smile falls. “Well, it was a solid cut.”

His eyes get lost in the void as he takes on a wistful expression. “I’m surprised I didn’t die.”

You gulp, watching his profile carefully. “It wasn’t deep enough for that…” you trail off, even though you spent most of yesterday and today being convinced he’d die. “At least they didn’t… stab you.”

“They would have if… Wooyoung didn’t shoot.”

You remain silent, not knowing what to reply to that. San interprets that as discomfort, and he quickly adds, “He didn’t shoot them. Just… in the air. It attracted the police.”

You remember the cars zooming past the diner a lifetime ago, and you nod your head. “I heard.”

He seems surprised, and his gaze finally finds yours again. “You did?”

“Yeah.” You chuckle, a little awkwardly. “I hear a lot of shootings, in the diner.”

His eyes widen, mouth falling open cutely. “You do?”

You don’t know what he expected. The diner is right between Ateez and Bangtan territory, and as much as it is a safe space, it is also near enough to dangerous grounds, and you’ve heard plenty of shooting in your time working there.

“Always,” you admit. “It can get scary sometimes… but you also get used to it.”

He looks sad. Infinitely so, like a lost puppy. That’s when the first thunder hits, so sharp and sudden you startle. Not quite as much as San, who ducks, wincing in pain as he clutches his side.

“Shit,” he curses. “Sorry.”

“What’s wrong?” you ask, in time with another thunderclap, though this time it’s more of a rumble.

You watch his chest as he breathes in and out quickly. “Just… fuck.”

Now, concern grows in you, and you gently put a hand on his shoulder. “San…”

He meets your gaze, and there’s so much white in his it makes you think of a terrified prey. And then it clicks: he thought it was a gunshot.

“Hey,” you quickly say, moving closer to him. You’re on the side of the stitches, so you still keep a safe distance between the two of you, but you grab his hand nonetheless. “You’re okay.”

“Fuck,” is all he’s able to say.

“I promise, no one’s going to find you here.”

He remains silent this time around, eyes still boring into yours. You take that as a cue to continue, because you don’t want him to panic. You want his thoughts here, with you, and not miles away in a city he should have escaped from years ago. You wish he had, knowing the atrocities that he would have avoided.

Would he have escaped with you, had you stayed just a little longer?

“I killed someone,” he says, and you balk at the silver lining his gaze. “I fucking killed him.”

You don’t know how to help. All you can think to do is cup his cheek, right as he starts breathing even faster. “Breathe with me, San.”

He doesn’t say anything, but his eyes fall to your mouth. You make a good show of inhaling slowly, before exhaling even slower. It takes him a moment but he eventually follows your lead.

It breaks when there’s another sharp thunderclap, and he flinches, eyes shutting instinctively.

“Hey hey hey,” you say again, even more gentle, softer than before. You move even closer, and when a tear slips out of his closed eyes, you pull him into a hug, careful not to brush his side.

His head falls on your shoulder, and one of his arms wrap around your waist. A thunderclap later, he starts sobbing, fist balling the fabric of your shirt in his tight hold, and you let him do it. You let him hold onto you, hoping it’ll keep him here with you. Hoping it’ll keep him afloat during the storm that’s raging both outside and in his mind.

“It’s going to be okay,” you breathe, and you feel like you’re lying to him.

Because how can he ever be safe from the ghosts inside of his skull? The ghosts wandering the halls of him, tainting his soul with their presence?

“He’s never going to smile again,” San chokes out. “Everyone loved him. Even in Ateez… Jungkook was the best of us. The only one who had a shot at getting out of it.”

You don’t know how good he could have been, if he was a member of Bangtan. In your mind, you’d always seen Bangtan as the bad guys, mostly because they weren’t with San. Even when you had been struggling to evade that life, you’d still rooted for him.

It’s strange how you just realize that now, as you’re holding him while he breaks.

“You didn’t mean to kill him,” you remind San, still speaking with the calmest voice you can muster up. “You didn’t want to, San. You’re not a murderer.”

“I’m still a killer,” he says. He sounds angry, and you reckon he might be angry at himself. Might be consumed with his actions, dragged to hell before his time as his mind gets stuck replaying the events.

“Maybe,” you answer. “But,” you quickly add when he stiffens in your arms. “But you can spend the rest of your life making up for it. Repenting.”

He doesn’t respond right away, as he breaks some more, sobs rocking through him. You’ve never seen him like this, not even when you were younger and in love. It makes your gaze wet, yet you hold on strong for him. You keep your head held high, and you allow him to break in the safe haven that your arms represent.

Because to him, you’ve never been tainted. You’ve always been the ideal he was trying to pursue, albeit the wrong way.

“I don’t know how to repent,” he admits when he calms down. He turns his head, and his nose brushes along the skin of your neck, slightly tickling you. You ignore the feeling, especially as he adds, “Ateez… it’s all I’ve ever known.”

You run a hand on his back, soothingly. “It isn’t.”

Because there was you, too. There was the summer field and the twinkling stars and Artic Monkeys on the radio. There was the two of you, petal-soft kisses exchanged in the dead of night and in the brightness of day. There were rainy days, and then there was rain. There was him walking away, and you hate yourself then.

You wish you had stopped him that day, had kept him from going on to become what he’s become now. A person he clearly hates, someone that has a bounty on his head. Someone that doesn’t even believe they’re allowed redemption and you reckon you don’t even know if he is.

You only know that seeing him break is bending your will, the way the wind outside is bending the trees. All you can hope is that, like the tall trees, you won’t break.

*****

                The storm calmed down sometime around midnight. San ended up falling asleep on the couch, as you’d reassuringly ran your hand through his hair, trying to keep him with you. Though you think he’s been slipping through your fingers, into his demons.

You’ll find a way to bring him back. You have to. Turns out it comes faster than you think, as the electricity runs out and you busy yourself with lighting some candles throughout the main room. When you’re done, you put a blanket over him, and you almost let out a startled scream as his eyes shot open.

“Hello,” you say, resting a hand on your heart to tame the wild beats.

You’re about to move away, but he grabs your hand, forcing you to sit next to him. You don’t really resist, though you think you probably should. You’re weak – weaker still when he murmurs your name.

“San,” you whisper in return, and you’re aware your voice carries too much longing. Longing for a past when life’s atrocities hadn’t changed either of you yet.

“I’m so sorry,” he apologizes, and a tear rolls on his cheek.

You dry it, fingers lingering there. “It’s okay.”

“Angel…”

The nickname brings you back to laser quests and favours and warmth creeping up your stomach for the first time in your life.

“I’m no angel,” you breathe.

“You saved me.”

You hold his gaze. There’s something hiding behind his pupils. The need, to forget. You don’t think you have the ability to run his mind through amnesia, but still you brush his cheek again.

“You deserved saving.”

His eyes glaze once more, though this time no tears fall. “It’s hard to believe it.”

“Do you still believe love is a laser quest?” you ask him, out of the blue.

As if you’re a line straight of that Arctic Monkeys song you listened to the first time you kissed.

“Maybe,” he says, a parallel to that first time you had asked the question. “Maybe it is.”

You can’t resist. You lean down, and you press the gentlest kiss on his lips. His are dry, but the way he sighs with you against him is soft, for your heart and for your mind, and you kiss him again. He lets you lead, follows the dance of your lips, lets you run your hand through his sweaty hair.

Even if you shouldn’t. Even if you know everything you’re doing right now is a mistake, you still find yourself deepening the kiss, opening your lips to slip your tongue out, teasing his mouth. One of his hands finds your thigh, and he squeezes ever so slightly as his tongue finds yours, and you let out a breathy sound.

When you pull away, eyes fluttering open, you find San’s gaze. You think about the boy he was then, the girl you were then. You think about who you were, together. And when he says, “Please make me forget”, you lean again, capturing his mouth in a languid kiss.

For a reason unknown, the summer sky and falling stars pale in comparison to this kiss. Maybe because it holds longing, nostalgia. Hope that life would have turned out differently. For a moment, you picture what it would have been like, without Ateez. With you and him in the field, in your family house, in a car driving by the beach, windows down as the sun sets and you sing along to the radio, wind blowing in your hair.

You see a whole life there, with you and him marrying in the field, under the sun that had been the host of your first love. You imagine growing up by his side, attending college with him in the big city. You imagine how he would have become the owner of his own construction company, like his dad before him. You picture kids laughing, running around the house he would have built for you. You see Christmas light, late nights antics by the firelight.

You see it all, and you know you’ll never have any of it. But if you can have tonight, then you’ll grab it before it slips through your fingers. Before he walks away in the rain again, only to be a memory you cherish in the deepest corners of your heart.

“How?” you ask him when you pull away.

Mostly, you’re asking how to make him forget. But you’re also asking how it is that the feelings are still there, even stronger now, as if they’ve grown up with you, yet haven’t changed like you have. Like they are a constant of an ever-changing universe.

“Kiss me again,” he asks, begs, and you give in. You kiss him wildly, always making sure not to touch his side and the stitches.

You know sex would be a stupid idea, especially with the fresh stitches. But also because he’s barely had time to recover. But he doesn’t really give you a choice, pulling you on top of him until you’re straddling him.

You sit back on him for a second, eyes trailing to the spot where you know the stitches are. “This isn’t a good idea,” you whisper through the ragged breaths caused by the ministrations of his mouth on yours and of yours on his.

“I’m fine,” he says, and you know you shouldn’t believe him. But when he pulls you down again, large hand holding the nape of your neck firmly so you don’t escape, you want to believe him.

Want to believe the beauty of his lies, like you had when you were younger.

From where you’re perched, you can feel the start of his erection pressing against you, and you moan softly in the kiss, rolling your hips. His mouth falls open, and you capture his tongue, sucking on it once before you pull away, leaving hot kisses on his jaw.

“Sit on my face,” he says, and he sounds out of his mind. Crazed, a little like you too feel at the moment.

“What?”

“Can’t get hurt if you sit on my face, angel,” he explains, and then hisses when you suck a hickey on his neck.

You let him pull your shirt off, unclasping your bra yourself as you sit back on his lap. He cups your breasts, rolling your erect nipples between his thumbs and indexes. You moan again, grinding your hips into his, and he hisses once more.

“You want to taste me?” you ask, head throwing back as he pinches your nipples hard.

“I’d fuck you, but you’re the doctor. Can’t risk fucking up my stitches, huh?” he replies, voice low and husky.

Your core heats up, pussy clenching around nothing. This is a side of him you’ve never seen, though you spy desperation beneath it. Like he thinks he doesn’t have forever, when it comes to you.

He’s right. Because tomorrow, you’ll have to go back into town, into the hellscape you call home. What will be left of the two of you then?

So when he tugs at your pants, you give in and get up, taking off your pants and panties in one swift motion. You step out of them, blood heating up by the way he’s looking at you through half-lidded eyes, gaze burning on you.

You have half a thought that you could probably ride him instead of his face, but when you see his pink tongue darting out to wet his lips, making them glisten in the candlelight, you need to know what it’ll feel like against you.

So you straddle his face as he guides you down, large hands pushing on your thighs until your pussy is a hairsbreadth away from his lips. He blows on it, and your eyes shut with sensitivity. You clutch the cushion of the couch, hoping it’ll help steady you, but the moment his tongue flicks at your clit, you realize nothing will be able to steady you. Yet you still hold onto it, especially as he dives his tongue between your folds, lapping up your juice. He moans in contentment, before moving to your clit again. And his tongue is wicked down there, like it knows exactly what you like.

You grab a handful of his hair, grinding into his face. You’re pretty sure he’s chuckling down there, and then he unleashes himself. Sucking hard, alternating circling motions to teasing you with his teeth. You’d expect the latter to hurt, but the way he does it just makes you see stars, and your pussy clenches around nothing again.

San is deadly good with his mouth. Both with crafting lies and pulling moans out of you, and your thighs tighten against his face as he sucks particularly hard, before dipping his tongue inside of you. His nose brushes your clit, and then he forces you to properly sit on him.

The way his tongue moves inside of you, lapping up your juices while opening you up, has you on the brink of an orgasm in no time. Especially as he makes you grind again, holding you tight into place. When one of his hands moves from around your thigh to reach your clit, you cry out, head throwing back.

He’s quick to rub at your sensitive clit, and you grab one of your breasts, massaging it mindlessly before you pinch your nipple, hard, right in time with a skilled swipe of his tongue. Your orgasm meets you there, shaking through you as it explodes in a blinding flash of light. You moan, loudly, something that resembles his name, and he keeps you going, guides you through your high until you cringe with oversensitivity.

Only then does he let you climb off from his face. You stand on wobbly legs, before deciding to sit next to him, and you catch sight of the smirk on his lips. It makes you blush, right as you realize what you’ve just done.

When you realize what kind of sinful activity he’s dragged you in, this time around.

“Gosh,” is all you manage to say.

He chuckles, clearly proud with himself. “That felt good?”

You worry at your bottom lip, eyes going down to the tent in his pants. You want to pleasure him too, to take him in your mouth and make him feel good, but he stops you with a hand wrapped around your wrist.

“Don’t.”

You still and you meet his gaze with slightly-widened eyes. “Why not?”

His features turn somber, haunted, and the heat of the moment passes so quickly you think it might have been a figment of your imagination.

Were you really riding his face just a moment ago?

“Please just lay next to me,” he says, barely even a whisper.

You don’t know a lot of men that would choose cuddling over getting a blowjob, but if that is what he wants, then you’ll give it to him. You lay next to him, glad that the injured side is closer to the couch. That way, you can cuddle up to him, resting your head on his shoulder while he wraps an arm around you.

“Angel,” he murmurs after a time. “You’re a fucking angel. I think you’re my salvation.”

You highly doubt you hold this kind of power, but you don’t want to tell him. Have never been good at weaving beautiful lies for him to believe.

“We should stay here,” he continues. “Forever.”

And you wish you could. Wish reality didn’t exist, didn’t call for you to go back to your regular life like you’ve never been here with him. But you know tomorrow exists, and you’ll have to leave.

“We should have stayed in the field,” you choose to answer. “Under the shooting stars.”

“I wished for a lifetime with you, then,” he admits. “I wished I’d never have to let you go.”

You’d wished for a similar thing, but life is far too cruel to allow a world of first loves.

“Why did you…” you trail off. The question has haunted your sleepless nights for a long time after the break-up. Even years later, you’d still think about it sometimes, wondering if nostalgia would choke you up. “Why did you decide to join the gang?”

He tenses next to you. But you start tracing a mindless circle on his chest, through the shirt, and it distracts him enough for him to reply. “I thought I didn’t have a choice.”

“Did you?”

His voice holds the weight of the world when he says, “I did. And I made the wrong one.”

You want to cry, but you’re older now. You’re not the teenager who thought she was going to die from losing him anymore. You know what living without Choi San is like, and as much as it hurts, you know that it’s doable.

“You made the one you believed was right,” you say carefully. “But I do wish you had made a different one.”

He holds you a little tighter, as if that will make it so tomorrow never comes. “Me too.”

There’s an eternity of flickering candlelight on the ceiling, of the circles you trace on his chest and of your breathings forming a melody. Outside, the wind has died down, and the world is silent except from an occasional cricket braving the world after the storm.

“Where will you go, once you graduate?” he asks, taking you by surprise.

Because he knows. It’s one of the few things that hasn’t changed.

“As far away from here as I can.”

“I hope you find peace, wherever you go,” he whispers. “I hope you forget all about how we grew up in a hellhole.”

Do you feel bad for saying it? Maybe. But you can’t help saying it anyway. “I will, San.”

And like that rainy day years ago, you think you can see him walk away.

*****

Seven years later

The winter sun is strangely bright, up above. You’d think it will warm you up, but the cold is relentless, violent, and it sneaks into your coat as you walk out of the hospital. You’ve just finished a thirty-hour shift, and you can’t wait to be home.

To take a shower and forget that you’ve lost a patient today.

But you’ve saved another. A young man, with a stab wound in his ribs that should have killed him. But you saved him, stabilized his condition to the point you don’t have to worry about him anymore. Which is the only reason why you’re allowing yourself to leave now.

You’re never able to leave until you know your patients are okay. It’s been that way since your first patient, in a cabin in the woods you’ve done your best to forget.

You’d let San stay, after that weekend. He had given you the number of one of his friends, so you could get some clothes for him, and you’d gone back the next weekend. Bringing him the clothes, making love to him under the moonlight as if that would change the ending.

The following week, you had gone back to find the cabin empty. He’d left a note behind.

I hope I can find you again, wherever you go.

You kept the note. It’s in your bedside table, back at home, in the nice apartment you’ve been able to rent for yourself with all the money you’ve been making now. Enough to pay back student loans from med school, enough to reassure you that never again will you struggle.

You’ve never seen San again after. He hasn’t found you, and you haven’t searched for him. Have only looked up his name a couple of times, in the months following his disappearing, scared you’d find out that he was found dead in a ditch. But his name never came up, and you wondered if he had managed to escape, if he had managed to find a place where Bangtan couldn’t reach him.

You found peace, on your side of the country. Life is kinder here, though it still holds the same atrocities. You wonder if it’s the novelty of the city, or maybe if you’ve just grown old enough to be able to withstand the bad that the world throws your way. It’s hard to tell – you haven’t kept contact with anyone from back home, except Jae-on.

Jae-on, who’s moved with you when you’ve decided to come here, like he said he would. Jae-on, who asked you to marry him in late October, and you said yes. The ring sits heavy on your finger, and you mindlessly play with it.

In another world, you would already be married to Choi San. Sometimes, you catch glimpses of that world – a piercing gaze in the morning, a smile and a kiss to your temple. Talks about angels, children screaming in happiness. In another world, you’d be pregnant again, waiting patiently to add another piece of you and him to this world.

It’s fun to think about, sometimes, but you’ve been good at forgetting. Like you told him you would – most times, you’ve forgotten all about Choi San.

But today, you had a patient that reminded you of him. So you allow yourself to feel, you allow yourself to think about that note tucked in the bottom drawer of your bedside table, hidden under the thick socks you never use.

You allow yourself to think about the cabin in the woods, about the field where you would have gotten married had you been in that picturesque world you like to imagine. You think about laser quests and first kiss and rainy days and meteors. You think about summer, about wildflowers and him.

You’re so lost in thought you miss your stop home, and you begrudgingly get out at the next one. You’re tired, and your hands are shaking as you pull your phone out of your tote bag, wanting to text Jae-on that you’re going to be home late because you missed your stop. You walk to the other side of the tracks, sighing when you see a five-minutes wait for the next subway.

At least the sun is high in the sky, even though it is dreadfully cold. You shiver, putting your phone back in your tote bag so you can hide your hands in your sleeves again, hoping it’ll preserve them from the cold.

In your exhaustion, you forgot your gloves back at the hospital, you realize. It’s strange that you only realize now, and you reckon you really need to sleep, because your brain isn’t even working right anymore.

You sigh, glancing at the display showing the time. Still four minutes to wait. You think at this rhythm you might freeze in your spot before the next subway comes. You try to hide your face in the lapel of your coat, but a movement on the other platform attracts your gaze.

A man is helping an older woman climb down the stairs. She’s speaking loudly, which might be what attracted your gaze in the first place. You follow them as they walk down the stairs, and then when the man turns towards you, you meet his piercing gaze.

He smiles, and you realize that maybe, all those years ago, he was not spinning lies to you after all.

☆☆☆☆☆

Gosh yeahhh rereading it had me ralize that it is a lot sadder than I remembered it to be. At least we got an open ending ... :') What did we think? Should I write about other groups more often? Let me know what you think! All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate

Taglist:

@btsborahaee

#outlaw: the project #love is a laserquest #choi san #choi san smut #choi san angst #choi san fanfiction #choi san fanfic #choi san fic #choi san x reader #choi san x you #san #san smut #san angst #san fanfiction #san fanfic #san fic #san x you #san x reader #not bts #ateez

[staytinyville]

Stay Alive (11)

BTS poly!ot7 x Reader

Magical Creatures AU

Series Masterlist

Warnings: None

A/N NOT BETA READ (I did try the best to my ability). We're heading into the chapters where I tell you guys about their creatures. I want to hear your thoughts for each one! Shoutout to @laymegentlytorest and @kingarthurscat for your reblogs and comments. I love you guys lol. Keep them coming!

That day you had walked into work, you had thought it was going to be like any other. You had grown accustomed to the normal notes you would take on a daily. There had been nothing new to write about so you had no idea on how to deal with one of your patients withering in pain on the floor. 

You hadn’t been able to find the boy in his room until you walked further in and heard his distressed breathing on the other side of the bed. You rushed over to find him curled up in a fetal position, breathing harshly.

“Kook?” You gasped, falling to the floor as you hesitated touching him. “What hurts?” You asked, trying to look him over and find the problem.

“Get away.” He gritted out, hands slapping onto the floor as he tried pulling himself up. 

“No, you have to tell me.” You moved your hands to help him, tightening up your body as his hands gripped tightly onto your scrubs. “I have to take care of you.” You told him, helping him onto the bed. 

“(Y/N). Please.” The boy whispered, panting. “It's not a good day.” He curled back up on his bed, groaning as his body seemed to twitch in pain. 

From what you could see, he wasn’t physically hurt. Not to the naked eye at least. Whatever it was that was causing him pain was on the inside of his body. You figured it must have to do with his condition. 

“Let me get you something.” You told him, moving to find the first aid kit. As you found some pain meds, you quickly filled a cup with water and moved back towards him. “Here take these.” You told him, handing him the pills. 

Jungkook looked at your hand, smiling stiffly at your way of helping him. “They won't help, Tokki.”

He almost broke down when he saw tears well in your eyes. “Please, Kook.” You whispered. “I don't like seeing you in pain.” You sniffled. 

He tried his best to get up to take the medicine, but someone shoving the door open stopped him from moving more. You both turned to the intruder, frowning at the nurse who had interrupted. 

“(Y/N).” She said, looking between you and Jungkook. “ Doctor Hanseol would like to see you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows as you watched Jungkosk shiver from pain, clenching his muscles to soothe them. “I can't leave Jungkook.” You spoke up, shaking your head. 

“He's in the lab.” The lady told you, not caring about Jungkook’s stability. You frowned deeply, looking at the man in worry. 

“Will you be alright?” You softly asked him.

“Nothing I'm not used to.” He gave you a grin, wincing as his body shuddered again. You hesitated in getting up to leave, however seeing the stare the other nurse gave you made you rush outside. 

You walked out into the main lobby to get access into the lab. While your badge had access to most rooms in the facility, the lab was not one of them. It seemed much more secure that not even the lab workers could get in. They needed someone to buzz them in. You understood all the security, however it was a bit excessive. 

“Sir.” You bowed when you noticed your boss looking through a window. 

As you grew closer you noticed it was to show the lab where the medicines were produced. They didn’t have large machines doing the work. Rather it was a variety of researchers hand making the drugs. There were a total of 5 each, being careful with whatever it was they were mixing. 

You knew the company wasn’t large, even after 10 years. They had spent a good while with research from what you saw. They had barely started to give out their drugs for trials a few years ago which meant that they weren’t out to the public yet. It takes a long while to create the right medicine. And by the looks of it HYBE was heading in the right direction. 

“Hello, (Y/N).” Hanseol kept his eyes on the window. “How are you?”

You tried not to frown at the small talk. “I'm fine. It's a very nice day today.” You spoke up.

“Yes.” Hanseol said. “Indeed it is.”

You hummed, turning to him as your anxiety flowed over. “Is there anything you need, sir?” You asked, trying to be polite. “Jungkook is not feeling well and I need to check up on him.”

“Is he now?” Hanseol squinted his eyes. “I think I know why.” He turned to you finally. “Not to worry, he goes through those episodes monthly.” He explained to you. 

“He does?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Such a terrible thing for him really.” Hanseol hummed, turning back to the lab.

Just as you were about to ask for more of Jungkook’s information, an alarm started beeping from the lobby. Both you and your superior rushed out to the lobby following after the security that ran into the facility. 

A large gathering had formed towards the bedroom sections, which made you have to push through the crowd. Your eyes went wide as you realized the security were all in Jungkook’s room. Without thinking you ran forward to enter. However, you were held back by someone.

“Jungkook!” You yelled. You watched as the man wildly thrashed around in the arms of some larger men. He had his teeth pulled back as growls seemed to ripple from his chest. He was hunched over, trying to throw off the people holding him down. 

“Hey!” You tried to punch at the arm that was tightly holding you back. “What's wrong with him?” You cried out.

“Miss you need to step back.” The security man spoke. 

“No, he's my patient!” You screamed. “I need to check on him.” You wriggled more, feeling tears well in your eyes as you felt frustrated with the security. When a whimper left Jungkook’s mouth, your head shot up, wide eyes on the man. 

“Jungkook!” You cried, grunting as you started kicking and thrashing. 

The man quickly looked up hearing your voice. When he saw the tears in your eyes and the man holding you back, the loudest of growls ripped from his throat, scaring those in the hallway. He grew angry seeing you be held in such a horrendous manner. He pulled a security guard off his arm, throwing him to the side. 

“Let her go!” He screamed, throwing the guards off him. They were quick to hold him back once more, Jungkook going back to fighting them off. 

Outside in the hallway, all of Jungkook’s brothers were trying their best to rush in and calm him down, however they too were being held back. Hanseol had a scowl on his face as he watched the boy beat the best security his kind had. He guessed even ogres couldn’t hold down an angry dog. 

“Hoseok sedate him.” Hanseol told the boy. 

Hobi quickly looked up to Hanseol, a worried expression on his face. “But he's not in the right state of mind.” He told the man. 

There were consequences to doing things wrong. With how fragile Jungkook was at the moment, hypnotizing him would put him into a deep sleep that almost resembled a coma. Hobi would need more energy to wake the boy up. 

“Do it.” Hanseol sneered. 

Hobi glanced at Namjoon, getting a deep sigh from the taller man. He nodded his head once, glancing back into the room where Jungkook started to break furniture by throwing bodies over them. 

Hobi moved past all the guards, making quick work to enter Jungkook’s room. He had been turned around which allowed Hobi to place his hands on the boy’s head. “I’m sorry.” Hobi whispers as purple mist flowed out of his fingers and into Jungkook’s eyes. 

Jungkook didn’t do any else other than fall over onto the ground in a heep. “No!” You cried, tears falling down your cheeks. “Stop! Let him go!”

“Hey.” Namjoon spoke up, taking you out of the guards arms. As the guard tried to take you away from Namjoon, the dimpled man only gave him a death stare causing him to back off. 

“(Y/N), he's going to be okay.” Namjoon soothed your, wiping your cheeks. “It'll pass.”

“What happened?” You began to hiccup, soflty rubbing your face into Namjoon’s clothing. The other boys gathered around you, trying their best to calm you down. 

“It's what he's here for.” Jin told you, rubbing your back lightly. “He'll be fine.”

Hanseol sighed deeply as he rubbed at his nose bridge, turning aorund to head out his god forsaken facility. When he turned up at the lobby, he found his co-founder watching from the securtity cameras. The man turned to his friend, hands in his pockets.

“He's never acted out in that way before.” He spoke up nochalanty. “He's protective of the girl.” He added looking down at the computers that showed the hallway camera. 

“She's not the first one.” Hanseol rolled his eyes. “However, you are right.” 

The man turned to his friend, a deep frown on his lips as he suddenly felt annoyed. “Where have you been? You know we have three patients who are affected by the full moon. I only need you two days out of the month and you weren't even here.” He glared. 

“Stop calling them patients.” Kyong rolled his eyes. “You harvest from them.”

“No. That is inhumane.” Hanseol shook his head, looking appaled. “What I do is simply extract certain things at a certain time to get the DNA I need. It’s to help those who need it most.” Hanseol smiled to himself, thinking about all the sick people he was helping.

“I don't see the difference.” Kyong deadpanned.

“Of course you don't, you big idiot.” Hanseol returned to glaring. “Now come on. You got two patients to sedate.”

I'm a bitch for people using the nickname Tokki when it comes to Jungkook.

Series Masterlist

@h3arteyes4mingi , @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh , @rinkud, @rln-byg ,

#bts fanfic #bts #bts jungkook #bts jimin #bangtan sonyeondan #bts v #bts jin #bts namjoon #bts jung hoseok #kpop fanfic #bts imagines #bts min yoongi #jeon jungkook #bts x reader #bts x you #bts x y/n #bts ot7 #bts fantasy au #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook x y/n

[ventismacchiato]

30 just playing the part — mom i’d like to fuck !

scaramouche x g!n reader

just playing the part !

masterlist — prev | next

yeah that’s taehyung 😓 bts pics work so well for aus ok!!

you redeem the coupon and buy yourself clothes 😘

for everyone asking no he didn’t leave his nudes 😢 he was being sarcastic

synopsis: you and scaramouche are both drama majors and have been at each other’s throats vying for the same lead roles since high school. but when you’re both cast as each other’s love interest in your second year you’re forced to be civil with your academic rival and see him in a new light. are his feelings for you true or is he just playing the part?

author’s notes: guys i do not feel well!! but my finals are next week!! i wanna shrivel up into a hole and cry!!!!! don’t go into med, save yourselves

taglist—closed: @monochromaticelliot @kaedear @stxrgxzxr @shirmxie @elakari @lacy-lady @linn-a-a @one-offmind @kithewanderingme @quepasoash @leathernourishingshoepolish @mangobee @lxry-chxn @dameofthorns @scarasaver @kythe1a @elysiasbae @hikaru-exe @tokkishouse @raiihoshii @cherrybeomgyu @kunikuzushiit @thenightsflower @lilneps @goodthingimsam @lovelyiez @euhla @beriiov @abvolat @kittycasie @b0bafl0wer @bubblyclouds @atlatcaheart @artssleepy @baelloraa @tartagli-yuh @satowaluverr @hangesextra @scaranaris-lil-niko @caffinatedcoma @wheneverthesunrise @hajimeseyo @itsyourgirlria @hyunrei @redactedhimbo @caliginous-skies @vinskyspuff @miissfortune @criminalinthemaking @scaramouches-girlfriend @scrmgf [1/3]

#genshin imagines #genshin impact au #genshin fluff #genshin impact #genshin au #genshin impact smau #genshin scaramouche #scaramouche drabble #scaramouche x gender neutral reader #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche x you #scaramouche x oc #scaramouche #scaramouche fic #kunikuzushi smau #kunikuzushi x you #kunikuzushi x reader #just playing the part smau

[liwaywaydreamer]

My Savior (Ch. 1)

(Time travel au, Royalty au, BTS x Reader)

Synopsis: As a hopeless med student that has been accustomed to the roller coaster of mishaps in life, you were sure nothing could get worse than the current situation you’re in. Unfortunately, that thought didn’t include being transported back in the 1400s, nor did it include you being an apparent reincarnation of the person you hated most. Now, can this get any worst?

Pairing: BTS x reader

Warnings: Inaccurate history, angst, bystander effect, verbal abuse (reader received some insults and humiliated), harmful thoughts, implied politics (in connection only to the story, there are no real politician mentioned here), corruption in politics, unreliable narrator (if I forgot something, feel free to comment or send an ask?)

A/n: university life is shit and I was eyeing for this to be at 5k words but if I stuck to that, I wouldn’t finish this. If you like it, please reblog. Reblogs are worth more than likes here right?

Masterlist

Chapter 1: Like fate, like destiny

You're fucked.

Two words you continuously repeat in your head as you struggle to gather the mess of thesis papers you've left messily across your table the night before. Glancing at your alarm clock not surprisingly on the floor blaring 10:30 at you, sporting a dent not so hidden even if you're three feet away, (a surprising quality for such a cheap thing).

Your class starts at 8.

You tried your best to get to your university as quickly as you can, wishing time would stop a little, or even just go back, afraid of what is about to come. Despite your efforts not to get annoyed (and failing miserably) with the bodies you bumped into on the way and the occasional yelling here and there — from the moment you almost forgot to pay the bus fare to when you're facing your professor right now in front of the faculty lounge, the same professor which you needed to pass your research to— coffee splashed onto his shirt, a cup on the floor, and you on the receiving end of his anger.

He took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose, a gesture that you might have found endearing if he had been more physically appealing. You waited with bated breath, so used to his antics. Although some might see this as an attempt for him to control his anger, you however can see past his huge ego and idiotic narcissism, he was only doing this to attract more traction, the audience for your humiliation.

His prolonged sigh was your calm before the storm.

"You can't do anything right, do you?" he sneered as if trying to prove a point to the spectators, relishing in every second of your embarrassment. 

If being a disappointment was a job, you'll be the CEO in no time.

"Sir, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean—"

"SHUT UP!" he screamed as he loosens his necktie. You can't do anything but wait and hope that whatever he does next would suffice for how much you've messed up time and time again.

"You, what can you do right?" With each word, he poked and prodded you, pushing you closer and closer to the deep end. You whimpered, trying to not lose control but failing miserably as there was nothing that you could do to stop it, and whether you were just failing by your standards or the fact that he does not care, he continued his barrage of insults, never letting up despite your attempts to apologize.

"How long do I need to put up with you?" he slurred as he now prods your shoulder, harder and harder with each word.

"Sir, I'm sor— "

"HUH?!" a smack and you were on the ground. All the people in the vicinity just stood there, watching, unwilling to help— being a mindless watcher to the abuse, the true definition of a bystander effect.

Why is it in every discipline, violence needs to be included? Is that how we're programmed to learn? Through nothing but violence? You hoped for someone to help you even if you already knew that no one would. Yet, you hoped still.

If this was your first day in school, you would've fought back. You would've stood up for your pride. That a spilled coffee is not enough to humiliate you like this and that not every misfortune is because of you. But you know better; this isn't your first day, nor is it your second. You know how the system works and who it favors, and unfortunately, it doesn't favor you.

"...waste of space. If it weren't for your parents..." You didn't hear the other words he spoke as he walked away not forgetting to throw the papers he held— papers that were your best effort at reaching your dreams, thrown away with your hopes of being better than what they said.

Needless to say, you were suspended due to behavior misconduct; words that you no longer know the meaning of anymore. You're back to your cage-like rented dorm, whilst your head is everywhere but.

What a cruel joke, you thought. The first time you wanted something so badly for yourself and had dedicated your whole life to had to happen with the world's hatred for you was at its peak. Or had it ever really stopped?

You gripped the handle of your balisong, tracing the delicate and intricate designs you engraved on it as waves of atrocious thoughts crashed into your mind. How morbid, you mused. The same thing that you want to hurt yourself with right now is the same thing that made you feel grounded. You're aware that these thoughts are anything but good, but you're also aware of the fact that no one is going to help you.

Simply because no one wants to.

A medical career was not your parents' choice nor was it ever in their choice, but it was in yours.

You're not unconscious of the fact that a career in the medical field is a lot to take financially, and to be the only one in the medical field in a family of lawyers? You alone destroyed the dreams put on you by your mother who vicariously lived through you, but you wanted it.

And you thought that was enough.

But now, as you sit back on the barren floor of your sparsely furnished room that you once hoped would've at least shown evidence of the life of someone healthy in their early twenties, you had nothing other than your worn-out bed on the corner and a circular dinner table doubling as your makeshift desk, cut off from all financial stability that your parents could've provided you if you only heed to their wishes. Now, you think about whether your current situation is worth the sense of independence you fought so hard for.

Was it a foolish decision to stand your ground? To try to live your life on your own terms? Because you know for a fact that it doesn't matter if you followed every whim of your parents as they will always find something wrong and below their standards with you. With every breath, every change of clothes, every food that you intake, even your education— you were taught that everything that they have given you was a debt you owed them, and because of that they are within their rights to choose for you.

After all, parents only want the best for their children, don't they?

You are by no means the most intelligent person on the campus, nor were you trying to be. But you're committed to what you chose, and you hoped that that commitment can be seen through your effort and hard work. And yet, despite your commitment, those words, those words still echoed in your mind— you can't seem to un-hear those words.

“If it weren't for your parents.”

You wanted to choose a life separate from them, to forge a path of your own. But no matter how much it pains you to admit, you know now, clearer than ever, that it does not matter how far you run, you'd always be hidden beneath their shadows.

To only be recognized as the black sheep of your family.

Instead of indulging your self-pity and sulking alone in your room with a blade on sight much longer than you had intended to, you opt to browse the internet for some fun things to do; a piece of advice you got from the internet since seeing a psychiatrist would be a luxury for you.

And whether it was your misfortune running out finally or yet another adventure of mishaps waiting to unfold an announcement caught your attention:

"Join us for a free tour down the historical lane to commemorate the House of Kim, with events set to reenact the life our ancestors had lived!"

There were more words to the article but as you read on, your eyes fell on the tour's schedule.

"Gyeongbokgung tour is going to take place at 1:30 pm," you murmured to yourself.

It was an opportunity you couldn't miss, a rare sight to see. Despite the mental baggage weighing you down, this was a chance to experience something new and forget about your troubles, even if just for a little while. Maybe this was the way of the gods trying to make up for all the shit storm your life is at right now, but whatever it was, you'll take it.

So, without hesitation, you got up, grabbed your purse, and with the little money you have left, you headed out. You knew you had to take on more shifts at the store or find other jobs to cover for your sudden trip, as your dream of becoming a doctor was fading quickly and surely anyway. But for now, all you cared about was the prospect of exploring a historical place that had opened its doors on a day it usually wouldn't.

Arguably, no one other than yourself knows what decisions made on a whim can do to anyone. Whether this is your intuition telling you to go back to your room to help you or just to spite you away from society, you didn't dwell long on the thought.

All you needed to know is that you're drowning quickly, and you would hold unto anything, even a pair of gilded chains to let you breathe again.

"Gyeongbokgung Palace, also known as Gyeongbok Palace, was the primary royal residence and the largest of the five grand palaces that still exist today in South Korea. Built-in 1395, this..."

As you don't have a lot of money to waste, you stuck to the free guides the palace provides although not very effective when you're standing in the back of 50 people. And looking at how detached and uninterested your tour guide is whilst speaking, without a doubt, you knew that this was just an additional job to her. Not really enough to complain about since the constant chattering of the people around you easily engulf her almost robotic voice anyways.

This trip already cost you more than you expected and standing still to nonsense chatter was not part of your nonexistent plan. So, with the palace map in hand, you left the group with ease.

"Gwanghwamun: the southern gate that became the main gate after some time. It is one of Seoul's iconic sights, having been restored after being largely destroyed by the war," you read while gazing up at the magnificent building in front of you, the swaying of windchimes singing their lullabies in the background. Your eyes carefully scanned every nook and cranny, not wanting to forget this beautiful sight. Although you can't be sure if the scenery is exactly as it looked when it was originally built, the idea of having remnants of the past soothes your soul.

You've always been intrigued about the things that have already happened, or perhaps that's an understatement as your mind always seems to be occupied with thoughts about what they could have done differently and the effects of it on the modern world. Whether it really is fascinating to you or just a form of escapism, you don't want to know. All you do know is that you're a product of the modern world, but something within you suggests that itself was a mistake.

Especially when the Kim dynasty has the best-looking aristocrats you had ever seen.

No, you weren't attracted to them, you tried to defend yourself from your inner turmoil as you gaze upon the paintings displayed. You just know how to appreciate beauty when you see one, even if it's just paintings on a wall. This was once again your Philip Hamilton but with much more injustice. At least with Philip, there were actual pictures of him to bestow the world with his beauty. And although you can commend the talents of the painters of the past considering they did not have the best art supplies during their time, you still cannot grasp the idea that these people existed. Not when they are reduced to the mere splat of colors made to resemble a person.

You couldn't clearly see the features of each man in the paintings, but it's not really anyone's fault for it's just the evidence of time. Nevertheless, your admiration for them never lessened, because it's more than their artificial perfection that deserved your admiration and respect. They were also the ones who did more than any other aristocrats ever did for their people. They were the true embodiment of a regime existing not for the regime itself, perfectly aware of who gave them power. Although yes, it wasn't a democracy, but even democracy has its problems.

All you can say is they did their best to lead their people. At least for some time, as they were the foundation that made South Korea what it is now. Sure, their reign could've ended better, still, they were an integral part of history.

And history should never be forgotten.

Although it disheartens you that their achievements and sacrifices are slowly being forgotten; the wars they've won are now taken for granted, you understand that life goes on and people have their own lives to live. It's another reminder that time doesn't stop for anyone.

As the wind chimes fluttering in the breeze, abruptly ceasing your thoughts. Somehow, you felt a sense of belongingness, despite their faintness that could easily be muffled by the chirping of birds. Nonetheless, it was truly fitting for the place as it only elevated the experience the palace could only give.

You couldn't quite understand why wind chimes would be placed in Geunjeongjeon, other than to elevate the experience, but since the cold breeze was constant ever since you stepped onto the palace grounds, you're certain that the people who are in charge knew exactly what they're doing.

You continued observing the place, trying to imagine what events had happened on the concrete that was paved hundreds of years ago. Was it quiet? Were the roads bustling with people constantly? Or were there just only a handful of people seen from time to time walking along?

You were so deep into your imagination that for a few seconds, you felt as though you were transported back in time. You were seeing groups of three to four consorts walking and talking to each other, palace women walking briskly with a basket on their sides, and a few eunuchs scolding some servants who probably messed something up. And then suddenly, everything came to halt when a booming voice from behind you commanded, "Make way for the Prince!"

As you turned to face the source of the voice, you found yourself making eye contact with a man whose attire you could easily recognize from the K-dramas you'd watched, and even with the distance between you, you can't help but feel he was looking straight at you.

"Excuse me, is this yours?" A little girl's voice interrupted your daydream, her voice so cute as she lightly tugs your shirt, holding out your phone.

"Oh, thank you so much!" you exclaimed, realizing that you were in your head so much that you didn't feel your phone fall off your pocket. You would have another problem added to your bulk of problems if it weren't for the girl.

"No problem, have a good day!" she gleamed brightly and ran off. The kid was so energetic you couldn't even give her something back. 

As you opened your map once again, you accidentally dropped your phone and with it, you see a pocket watch on the ground. And it didn't take you to think twice to know to whom it belongs. Hurriedly, you followed the kid toward the path of the Hyangwonjeong pavilion.

"Where did she go?" you murmured, you were sure that you had seen her walking towards the pavilion, but as you see the bare grounds of the place, you realized you had lost track of her. The pavilion was nearly empty except for a few tourists, and you felt torn between searching for the girl to return the watch or continuing to explore the palace grounds.

As you were going to turn around and try to find the girl, you stopped in your tracks. After all, did you really spend your money to travel here just to end up focusing on returning a girl's missing watch when the palace was only open for a limited time? It would be a waste of time going here if you didn't enjoy your time, right? As you stood there contemplating your decision, the constant breeze grew stronger, making the wind chimes nearby flutter and although messy, they still somehow created the most beautiful melodies. The sound disrupted your thoughts, but somehow provided an answer to your dilemma. You decided to keep the watch and continue exploring the palace. After all, you didn't want to waste your money and time searching for someone who would likely be enjoying the sights with her guardians. You could always return the watch to her later.

As you stroll on the bridge named Chwihyanggyo, your fingers lightly tapping the railings, you thought of one thing that could make this experience a million percent better.

"Why are hanbok so fucking expensive?" you huffed, frustrated at yourself for not being able to afford one. But since you can't do anything about it, you continued walking with a pout toward the buildings that housed the aristocrats of the past. The melodies of the windchimes grow louder as you come closer. And that's when it hits you.

How do you keep hearing them considering you haven't seen one since your first step on the palace? If this was a scene in a drama, you would've thought that the windchimes were following you, serving as the background music for the main protagonist's introduction. But this was no drama nor were you a main protagonist material, and you couldn't help but feel curious about it.

As you stepped inside the pavilion, you felt like you were slowly reaching your dream of going back in time as you gaze at the antique furniture that filled the place. Your fingers trailed the rough edges of the desk, which had subtle engravings that seemed unreadable at first glance: 다 괜찮을거야.

Everything will be alright.

The phrase repeated in your head as you wondered what it meant. Was it a message from the past or just a meaningless inscription? You felt a sense of longing to uncover the mystery behind it, and you wouldn't have noticed it if you hadn't felt it, but the pavilion was closing soon, and you had to leave to look around more. 

As you were about to exit, the chimes called out to you again, tempting you to get closer and follow their sweet melody— almost as if they could sense the curiosity in your mind. You followed the sound until you stumbled upon a backroom, which looked like a storage room that had been converted into a makeshift bedroom for the caretaker. You stepped across the redline, both figuratively and literally, unable to resist the urge to explore further.

From the balcony, you caught a glimpse of the wind chimes dangling from a branch over the lake. The constant ringing didn't falter from luring you in. You scanned the area for anyone who could catch you and when you saw no one, you leaped over the balcony and headed toward the chimes. There was something about the chimes that piqued your interest, but whether it was the chimes themselves or the confusion of how you keep hearing them from afar, you weren't sure, and nor were you going to find your answer.

Because as the popular idiom goes, curiosity killed the cat, and with a slip up your feet into the lake you go.

♛♛♛♛♛♛♛

The row of daisies sat atop the windowsill, bathed in the golden light of daybreak. The silent whims of the wind filled the space, stirring the dried leaves on the small makeshift table below, made with old planks with jagged edges, where jars of medicines sat alongside a worn notebook filled with hastily scribbled notes. There was the usual sound of footsteps and the creaking of floorboards. The palace's physicians and attendants began to trickle in, their visits indicated by the soft chimes of wind chimes hanging above the door.

And the wind blew one more time. As if it's intentionally done to send a message as the image of blurred sketches comes through.

All was well.

Until the peaceful scene was shattered by the thunderous galloping of horses that had shaken the rooms. Until there was the clash of metal on metal that filled the air as swords were unsheathed. And until there were faces with features you couldn't make up.

Muffling, shuffling, screaming, shouting.

It was only chaos and bloodshed, and as it worsened, the ringing in your ears grew louder and louder, drowning out all other sounds and leaving you with nothing but a sense of overwhelming disorientation.

Then, just as suddenly, it all heeds to a stop. The ringing faded away, and nothing could be heard other than the flipping of the pages, the smooth gliding of a pen, and the wind chimes outside the window that began to tinkle once again. You looked out the window and saw a tranquil scene: rows of green grass and golden hay, and the majestic curve of a mountain in the distance. There were no whims nor whispers of the wind.

All was quiet and still.

As if everything was at its stalemate; the equilibrium.

And then, as if a stick had been broken, it happened.

The scene began to shift and blur, colors and shapes warping and twisting like a nightmare. The ground trembled beneath your feet; the tremors so strong that you could've sworn you felt it all as images flickered before your eyes. You saw a crowd of men gathered around someone lying on the cold hard floor with colors ranging from black to white, their sorrows crystal-clear even with the constant ringing. Then you saw a field of yellow flowers, a scenery of green and gray with men running toward something in the distance, their faces twisted in anguish, kneeling and begging in the middle of a field.

The images kept shifting and switching back and forth. Everything was in chaos as if fate itself was unsure of what was to come. But through it all, you struggled to hold onto each fleeting image, desperate to make sense of the chaos that surrounded you. And then, with a sudden jolt, you were pulled back into reality, coughing up water as you gasped for air. As you opened your eyes, the last remnants of the dream slipped away, and you were left with only the memory of the intense emotions it had stirred within you.

Dazed, and confused. You looked up, meeting the gaze of the man who had pulled you from the water, his eyes filled with concern and relief.

You were certain you hadn't met him before, but you could've sworn that those almond-shaped eyes were something you could never forget, etched into your memory with an inexplicable familiarity.

To be continued...

Thanks for reading!

#My Savior #bts poly #poly!bts #bts poly au #bts x reader #bts ff #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts au #historical au bts #jungkook ff #taehyung x reader #taehyung ff #jimin x reader #jimin ff #namjoon x reader #namjoon ff #kim namjoon x reader #hoseok x reader #jung hoseok x reader #jung hoseok x you #jeon jungkook x reader #kim taehyung x reader #hoseok ff #jung hoseok fic #yoongi x reader #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x y/n #min yoongi ff #yoongi fic

[piedpiperslists]

heyyyyyyy wondering if you have a list of innocent oc/experienced jk or the other way around fics recs

Hi. I'm going to assume you mean experienced in sex? These fics I included aren't necessarily innocent x experienced, but more of them being "inexperienced".

This is over 25 fics, so I put it under the cut.

* s - contains smut sm - social media format

Inexperienced!Reader:

Love Me by mono-moonchilds - drabble (s) / producer's daughter!reader, idol au Summary: Girl, I fuck who I want and fuck who I don’t. Got that A1 credit and that fillet mignon. She said, “I never wanna make you mad I just wanna make you proud.” I said, “Baby just make me cum, Then don’t make a sound.”

Angel by pixieknj - one shot (s) / wc~5.2k / fuckboy!Jungkook, university au Summary: After giving your virginity to the university’s most notorious fuckboy, he’s on a mission to slut your innocent ass out and take all that he can get... [or] small collection of fuckboy JK turning you out...

First & Last by kookiesjoonies - one shot (s) / wc~4.2k / friends to lovers Summary: During a game of never have I ever, Jungkook finds out that you haven’t had your first kiss yet and decides to show you how it’s done.

Milestone by 1kook - one shot (s) / wc~8.2k / brother's best friend Summary: Part of you is touched that Jungkook really has been there for every milestone in your life. The other part wishes he hadn’t shown up looking so ridiculously sexy.

No Longer Strangers by soft4gguk - one shot (s) / wc~9.4k / strangers to lovers, PWP

Pop Goes the Cherry by 1oserjk - one shot / wc~3.8k / angst, brother's best friend Summary: Jungkook comes back home to find you visiting as well, all grown up — in more ways than one.

Strictly Platonic by jeonqkooks - one shot (s) / wc~19.4k / friends to lovers, fake dating, college au Summary: Sometimes, Jungkook can be a little selfish; and sometimes, the lengths you would go to for his happiness mean relinquishing your own.

Practice by chryblossomjjk - series (s) / fuckboy!Jungkook, FWB, college au Summary: You usually spend Friday nights on your own. Tonight, however, your friend and campus fuckboy, Jungkook, decides to pay you a visit.

Ruin You by bts-bay-bee - series (s) / FWB Summary: Best friend!JK teaches you the basics of sex, and essentially ruins you for anyone else.

Shiver by hansolmates - series (s) / bad boy!Jungkook, church girl!reader, childhood friends to lovers, FWB Summary: Your childhood crush Jeon Jungkook has changed since he moved out of his small town church community and attended college. When he returns for a Christmas mass, you suddenly crave a taste of his fun and carefree life. In exchange, Jungkook craves a taste of you.

Inexperienced!Jungkook:

Close the Distance by hearts4joon - one shot (s) / wc~13.5k / college au, neighbors au Summary: Two different adults, living two completely separate lives — in the same neighborhood. A guy who’s overbearing mother makes him carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. A girl who’s parents are all too drawn to her younger siblings to even give her the time of day. While the two fall in an unlikely relationship (very unlikely), they still ravish each and every part of one another in every way — the best of attention, the one they both craved all their lives.

Curiosity by hobidreams - one shot (s) / wc~3.6k / best friend's brother, college au Summary: When innocent Jungkook comes to you with a not-so-innocent question… you decide it’s easier to just demonstrate.

Ghosts Just Wanna Have Fun by sugaxjpg - one shot (s) / wc~20k / med school au, psychic au Summary: When Jungkook discovered that he could communicate with dead people, the last thing he expected was that they would be there to give him romantic advice.

Gotcha by whatifyoulivelikethat - one shot (s) / wc~11k / childhood friends to lovers, college au Summary: The color blue. Two white hairpins. “Hey, Jungkook.” A laugh with shaking shoulders that Jeon Jungkook thought he would hear and see forever. Hey, Jungkook. But then those words became a memory, until she was standing in front of him again, sporting the title of “Virgin Killer” and Min Yoongi by her side. Was this his second chance or just another memory?

I Want to Have Sex by jeongi - one shot (s) / wc~7.2k / established relationship Summary: You plan on taking your boyfriend, Jungkook’s, virginity tonight.

Infatuated by namsjunies - one shot (s) / wc~3k / university au

Need to Know by pixieknj - one shot (s) / wc~4.4k / virgin!Jungkook, friends to lovers Summary: Jungkook’s tired of you teasing him…

The Virgin Volume by kpopfanfictrash - one shot (s) / wc~6.8k / angst, college au Summary: The story of how The Rich Man’s Crochet Club Jungkook lost his virginity. Prequel to The Monogamy Monologues.

Here's more Inexperienced!Jungkook but I keep getting an error, so I had to break up the list

Will You Make a Mess Now? by softyoongiionly - one shot (s) / established relationship, college au Summary: Jungkook’s never been touched before and, after a hectic end to his semester, he thinks he wants that to change… Can I Make a Mess Now? by softyoongiionly - one shot (s) / established relationship, college au Summary: Jungkook’s never had sex before but, after realizing that he’s falling in love with you, he thinks he wants that to change.

Twelve Hours by whatifyoulivelikethat - two shots (s) / film director!Jungkook, burlesque dancer!reader Summary: You have twelve hours to make Jeon Jungkook fall in love with you. He's about to get married. You're the entertainment at his bachelor party - a burlesque dancer. Long ago, he used to be the class representative and you used to be the class delinquent. Nothing has changed and, yet, everything has.

For Science by boymeetsweevil - series (s) / nerd!Jungkook, friends to lovers, FWB, college au Summary: Jungkook asks you to let him watch you get off. For science.

Love Formula by kimnjss - series (s sm) / shy boy!Jungkook, fuckgirl!reader, college au Summary: You’re barreling into his life when he least expects it, stealing all his attention until the nights spent studying are replaced with rolling around the sheets. He’s hopelessly romantic and you’re in it for the fun, but no one told you it would ruin your life.

One Time, In Your Room by ubemango - series (s) / established relationship, college au Summary: There are papers to write, and virgins to daydream about. (You can think about Jeongguk’s dick later.)

Both Inexperienced:

Taste the Feeling by 94hixtape - drabble (s) / established relationship, PWP Summary: Masturbation + Bodily fluids.

But We Loved Too Young by jl-micasea-fics - one shot (s) / wc~10.4k / childhood friends to lovers Summary: Jungkook is everything you’re not, the ying to your yang. Your tight knit friendship nurtured from childhood survived the major life events that most don’t, and to that end, you suppose you’re fated to be together, until unrequited longing is eventually noticed, and boundaries are forever crossed.

Helping Hand by minlucent - one shot (s) / wc~3k / ft KSJ, boyfriend!Jungkook, PWP Summary: You and your boyfriend are inexperienced in terms of sex. It is decided that the best way to fix that is to have a little help from a friend.

The Fuckbuddy Code of Conduct by yoongiphoria - one shot (s) / wc~2.7k / fuckbuddy!Jungkook, lawyer!reader, FWB Summary: A little experiment between you and your fuckbuddy leads to an unexpected confession.

#fics ask #fic rec

[m-jelly]

Levi getting you your period cravings and supporting you when you're in pain and feel sick from it 🥺

@kenkopanda-art &lt;3

Comfort, kisses and food.

Levi x fem!reader

Modern AU, fluff, romance, being a couple, period talk, cavings, pain, caring Levi.

Levi comes home early from work and surprises you with snacks, comfort and kisses. He makes sure that you have everything you need while going through a bad day with your period.

@ladycheesington @levisbrat25 @nyxiieluna @li-anne @galactict3a @youre-ackermine @thebobaprincess @2moth-anon2 @cypidity @nbinairyn @bts-spnlvr12 @darkstarlight82 @emilyyyy-08 @notgoodforlife @demonic-bird

Levi slipped into the apartment and put his plan into action. His focus was on you and he needed to make sure you were happy and cared for. This morning he could see how much pain you were in, you had been tossing and turning all night and you had gotten up in the night. He had helped you through the night, but he had to go to work.

Getting home from work early was important to him because he needed to take care of you. He always worried about you. The love he had for you was so deep and intense.

He sorted out a hot water bottle, then set out a tray with a soothing cup of tea along with multiple snacks for you. He looped a blanket over his arm and made his way over to you on the sofa.

"Darling bunny?"

You sat up and gazed at Levi as tears filled your eyes. "Grumpy."

He placed everything on the coffee table as you started to cry. "Oh, my poor little bunny." He sat next to you and held you. "Does it hurt a lot?"

"Mm. It hurts so much and I feel sick."

He kissed your temple and hummed. "I have just what you need, okay?" He released you and grabbed the hot water bottle. "First, we have this."

You gasped in delight. "It's a bunny!"

He chuckled. "It is." He placed it on your pelvis. "Keep this here and when it goes cold, let me know."

"Promise."

He wrapped you up in a blanket and kissed for cheek. "This fluffy enough?"

You nodded. "Mm, yes. Thank you."

He lifted the tray and placed it on your lap. "We have tea, pain meds that you like, chocolate and sweets. I also have all sorts of junk food as well."

"Thank you. Levi, you're the best."

He handed you the meds. "Take these, okay?"

"I will." You did as he suggested. "Mm, the tea is lovely."

He cuddled up to you. "Make sure you get some sugar as well."

You pouted a bit. "But."

He picked up some chocolate and ate it. "I'll eat with you."

You felt your heart flutter. "Yes." You smiled as you ate with him. "You're wonderful, you really are."

He played with your hair. "You're the wonderful one." He wiped your lip. "Let me know if you need space or need to cuddle, okay?"

You nodded and moved the tray to the coffee table. "Cuddles."

Levi wrapped his arms around you. "You can get all the cuddles you want and need."

#levi ackerman #levi #aot levi #aot fanfiction #levi x you #fanfic #levi x y/n #snk levi #levi fanfiction #levi x reader #levi x yn #levi ackerman attack on titan #jelly fanfics #levi ackerman x female reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman x y/n

[ayorapline]

hello my name is anya, i am 23, and i use they/she pronouns (preferably they/them for ppl i am not as close to)

i write bts fics and soc med aus on twitter and ao3

twitter:

https://twitter.com/ayorapline?s=21&t=thnFN5Xbt6z5Y4EH-T6L_A

ao3:

i write (and read) all ships

nice to meet you :)

[danihow]

can you spoil what works you have on the draft rn??

so, i have no actual idea when this asked was sent into my inbox bt for sure bestie

My current drafts (if i post them soon i'll just link them up here too):

[Untitled]

Stray Kids' Changbin x Fem!Reader

A bit of enemies to lovers thingy + a bit of brother's friend stuff going on, here's a sneak peek:

"Option 1, I cancel a week before the wedding, return the dress and be left as the asshole who did that to her besties wedding." You sart, bringing your index finger up and your brother just 'mehs' at it.

"Option 2, I go alone and either lie about my fake boyfriend and make me look like the dumbass with a bad boyfriend." You list, middle finger up and your brother just 'mhm's you.

"Or option 3, I go alone and tell the truth about my fake boyfriend and beleft as the crazy one what has a crush on the groom." You list your last spource, thumb up and your borther side eyes you, seriously doubting if you are not joking right now.

"Or option 4, you get a date." He says, putting his phone aside as you just throw some old used hoodie at him.

"You know..." he starts, sprinkling some salt over them and blowing. "Changbin's always there."

II. Bright smiles, sad tears.

Second chapter of Five feet is too much (a wooyoung x reader thing based off on five feet apart)

"Goodmorning Wooyoung." Seonghwa sing-songed, coming in to pick up the packets of the pills he had to take and to do the morning check up on the man before ending his shift at 7:30. "Did you manage to sleep?" He asked, taking out the oxymeter and grabbing Wooyoung's hand to put it on his index finger.

"Not as much as one would want but it was enough for the first night here."

[Untitled]

A Lord f the Rings' Frodo x Reader request off my request prompt list

The prompt is:

You can't just say that, disappear and expect me not to act on it.

You are what?

A pregnancy announcement (?) hc for enhypen's hyung line

(how tf do i spoil this)

"We are going to be parents." He mumbled, voice muffled by your shirt that you slowly felt dampening.

"Jake, are you crying?"

[Untitled]

A Med!student au where san and reader are studying anatomy (not smutty tho)

"Since you are doing so well, you might as well gets some rewards, don't you think?" He says, thumb rubbing against the skin of your waist, taking advantage of you slightly riled up shirt.

Atlas: II

A Felix long af fanfic based off on Sleeping at last's album named Atlas: II, but only the senses' songs yk (touch, smell, taste, hearing and sight)

"Liking what you see?" His deep and raspy vocie snapping you back to reality, you and your boyfriend on the dorm couch, cuddling under a sky blue fluffy blanket with Love Actually on the TV screen at this point just becoming a background noise as the two of you now stare into each other, your e/c eyes locked in his brown ones.

[Untitled]

This weird af long ass famfic that has been sitting in my drafts for a year now, where the reader is trying to help Enhypen's Jay out of his toxic rlationship but mf doesn't cooperates.

Totally not based off my sad playlist

His heart was out there in the freezing cold as a never ending storm seemed to shake it, beat it over and over again, every single day being less like the noble and sweet heart it once was and instead turning into a vulnerable and insecure heart that didn't knew what actual love felt like. For three years and four months, for fucking 1272 days his heart has been broken over and over again like it was never made to be actually loved.

But it was.

I see it

I don't know what I was seeing, but I guess this is some college au enemies to lover thing with Enhypen's Jake

"Where are you going now?" Jake asks when he can keep on ognoring the fact you two are walking on the same direction. Making you snap out of your mind and look back at him.

"I'm going for ice cream with Ni-ki."

"No." He says, stopping on his steps to ook back at you, a few meters behind. "I'm..." He starts, and you get what he is trying to say immediately.

"No... Damn it." You mutter, keeping on walking and ignoring him, to which he did the same, walking a bit faster to piss you off. "Shit." You whisper to youself, walking at you own pace not to please him by hurrying your steps to catch him, you just would not.

#danihow #ateez fanfic #lord of the rings fanfic #lotr fanfic #stray kids fanfic #enhypen fanfic #boku no hero fanfic #enhypen jake #jake fanfic #enhypen hyung line #stray kids changbin #ateez san #ateez wooyoung #wooyoung x reader #five feet is too much #ateez au #san x reader #todoroki x reader #jake x reader #changbin x reader

[zennialemo]

I posted 2,065 times in 2022

That's 976 more posts than 2021!

45 posts created (2%)

2,020 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@killerandhealerqueen

@w00dchips

@evil-moonlight

@scallioncreamcheesebagel

@desultory-suggestions

I tagged 868 of my posts in 2022

#lmao - 41 posts

#beyond evil - 36 posts

#queer - 16 posts

#under the skin - 15 posts

#kpop - 14 posts

#aromantic - 12 posts

#asexual - 12 posts

#bts - 12 posts

#bad buddy - 10 posts

#spotify - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 114 characters

#but this is interesting to me because ive been seeing lots of heavy black and white discourse on concrit lately...

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I opened up a soulmate AU that I started in April for Under the Skin. It was in the same folder as the one I recently posted. Its been two days of reading it and rereading it and wishing it had an end. And now I want to finish it. But it's like insanely large in terms of plot. It's a Soulmate AU with political corruption and murder and secrets. Shits not fluffy... well not for the most part. And im overwhelmed by the scale of it. It needs dedication and time and maybe even an overhaul...

But I love it 🥲. So let's see if I can finish it. If not, whatever (she says, not feeling 'whatever' about it at all). Maybe I can break it up into a series if it's really too much...

10 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#4

My whole therapized life has been a back and forth of "do they don't they" over whether or not I have BPD or bipolar II.

And I have always been like "nah I don't get manic". Mind you I wasn't thinking hypomanic, I was thinking my aunt when she goes off her meds and thinks she can fly and that people are following her. So I was like "never, never" about mania. But I wasn't considering the times when I write 10,000 words in 24 hours with no sleep and then hyperfixate on plot for the next 5 days, or when I do 1 million tasks in 4 days on 4 hours of sleep and almost no food. I thought those were just good times. That's not to mention the spending. Dear lord the spending. But I never felt... like I could fly. I just felt like I was hot shit. So. I always was like yeah not me *shrug*.

All this said, I definitely *do* fit the criteria of "high functioning" or "quiet" BPD, too. My mood in one day is the picture of instability. I have no sense of self. I fear abandonment, etc. I don't look stereotypical BPD because I internalize everything. I rarely snap or take my feelings out on people, when I split I take it out on myself. Etc. So. "Quiet" BPD fits.

But so does Bipolar II with rapid cycling. I just dropped so bad for 2 weeks I ended up in the ER and then swung up so high I spent more than I should have on clothes and gifts and cards for others, slept very little, and packed an insane amount for my upcoming move despite my disability screaming at me with pain and exhaustion to slow down. I am now starting a mood stabilizer and my mental health team is thinking maybe a dual diagnosis of BPD and Bipolar II. I laughed because all these years of back and forth from my healthcare providers for the current team to look at one another and say "how about both?"

How about both, indeed.

The (constant, but now extra pressing) problem is I have ME, or more colloquially CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), and hypomanic energy and lack of sleep for 4.5 days = super awful hellish PEM. Think of PEM like crashing into a ditch where you can barely leave bed, maybe like me you're in pain and light sensitive and it feels like you've got Mono all over again... anyway. Its really awful. Terrible. Im so drained I can barely talk. Thank the moon and stars I don't have therapy today.

But yall, I'm suffering. PEM so bad my legs are trembling. Time to lay in bed for the next three days and try to rest up... 🥲

11 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

#3

Rewatching Bad Buddy with my sister, who's seeing it for the first time. I'm in my feels y'all. This show was everything. Wholesome and full of feelings and real communication in the face of adversity. My queer heart is full 🥺.

15 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

#2

16 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just watched the first episode of Koisenu Futari, and I’m crying. I’m asexual, and I think I might be somewhere on the aromantic scale too and I had no idea until I watched this and things just.. clicked. I went through and am still living through an extremely painful and difficult breakup where “everything was right” on paper, but I just couldn’t meet him where he was at. And the sentence always ended there but the truth of the matter is, I just couldn’t meet him where he was at...romantically. I never could. It killed me. Kills me. There are other things too, other things about me I’ve been noticing recently and this revelation is like breathing air for the first time in months - maybe there’s nothing wrong with me.  This show made me feel so seen. Seen in ways I didn’t even know I needed to be. And even if it hadn’t made me realize I’m probably arospec, I think it still would have touched me just as much as an ace person, but also just on a humanity level it’s beautiful. I call myself a writer but right now the words kind of escape me. I just feel so validated and seen, and it hurts and it’s wonderful all at the same time. 

17 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Spotify

[vecekujekat]

Astro-med tmx-18 mode d'emploi

  ASTRO-MED TMX-18 MODE D'EMPLOI >>DOWNLOAD vk.cc/c7jKeU

  ASTRO-MED TMX-18 MODE D'EMPLOI >> READ ONLINE bit.do/fSmfG

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    Mode Scope : Le mode Scope agit comme un oscilloscope à mémoire numérique, offrant une résolution de base de temps élevée pour la visualisation des signaux à LEARN Notice d utilisation de la télécommande Réf Page 5 5 Touche commune 16 6 Chaîne 6 Touche commune 17 7 Chaîne 7 Touche commune 18 8 Chaîne 8 ToucheSi le témoin LED clignote quatre fois avant de s'allumer, cela signifie que le code n'existe pas ou n'est pas assigné. Essayez d'autres codes.Termes manquants: emploi ‎| Doit inclure: emploi__istruzioni 8-4-2-1+codici-FRA-ITA.cdr - Notice-Facile.compdf.notice-facile.com › file › 2019/11pdf.notice-facile.com › file › 2019/11 Commutation "mode" télétexte/tv. Retour à la tv. Seulement pour récepteurs sat : visualise les informations de base du programme en vision. Utilisation : Utilisez la télécommande uniquement comme indiqué dans la notice : une mauvaise utilisation peut l'endommager. Manipulez la télécommande avec. If it's VCR/DVD, you can press [POWER] key, the remote control enters into" Manual Search" mode and the LED keeps flashing. e. See if device reacts or not. If Page 18. KENNEX. 5301. 5291. 5581 NOVA. 2951. NOVABEAM. 0051. NOVAK ASTRO. 0663. BOUYGUES TELECOM. 6363. 6393. BRITISH TELECOM. 0263. BT. 0293. 0633. Appuyez sur la touche du mode d'appareil souhaité (par lundi au vendredi de 8h à 18h et le samedi de 9h à 18h. paraître dans le mode d'emploi.

, , , , .

[anythingtrxsh]

come on, lattice bond

by sassyneki [ 12k words - 1/1 - taekook; side namjin; side yoonmin ]

“Hello, I’m Kim Taehyung!” he greets. “Biochem senior and your very knowledgeable senpai-slash-mentor.”

“Jeon Jeongguk,” the boy replies. “Bio major.”

Taehyung is on the quest to be Jeongguk's ultimate senpai. Unfortunately, life has other plans. (Lab!AU)

listen-- i love science aus sooo much. and as a science major myself I relate a lot to jeongguk on this one

#taekook #taekook fic rec #taekook fic #taekook crack #taekook fluff #taekook science au #taehyungs a biochem major #jeongguk wants to get into med school ? #idk i didnt really undertand that part lmao #bts fic rec #bts fic #taekook ao3 #ao3 fic rec #this should honestly be longer #College #Fluff #Crack

[ts19009]

BTS FAN FICTION REC'S PART:3

(Updated 16-01-22)

(CONTAINS SMUT AND MATURE SUBJECT MATTER)

(BOLD MEANS FAVORITE)

Jungkook

days to morning glory; jjk ( aspiring rockstar!jeongguk x med. student!reader) @sketchguk​

ever ever after ( divorce lawyer/dilf!kook x princess!reader) @hansolmates​

A Bam Protected Pregnancy (pregnant!reader) @blu-joons​

My lucky stars | jjk ( dad!jungkook x mom!reader) @kookiestarlight​

Miss. Vagabond (gamer!jk x gamer!reader)@grinnieyoongi​

I love you too. (Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook One Shot) @smileyoongle

Snow laughing matter ( Enemies to lovers; fluff; angst; Christmas fic!) @taleasnewastime​

Blueberries ( best friends to lovers au, slight angst, fluff, smut) @softyoongiionly​

Since Day One ( werewolf! jungkook + boxer! jungkook + tattoo artist! jungkook (the holy trinity) + f2l au) @rmverse​

Dad!jungkook scenario (his daughter runs up to the stage  @sevenforeverbulletproof

the diary of a healing heart (s2f2l, college!au; angst, fluff, crack, smut) @taegularities

duty before love (king!jungkook x servant!reader, king!jungkook x queen!oc) @blue-jade

redemption (ex-husband!jungkook x reader) @blue-jade

Stay (idol husband!Jungkook x wife reader) @sahmfanficbts

BTS Participating in Squid Game Part 1 @silv3rswirls

year 22 (childhoodfriend!jk x f!reader) @guklovr

The Maid of Honor Misadventures (one shot, one night stand!au, wedding!au) @jjkthclub

all over you (antasy!au, HP!au, exes/e2l!au, light angst, fluff, smut, a lot of smut) @taegularities

Kim Taehyung

heart of the flame ( firefighter!taehyung x f. librarian!reader) @chateautae​

Breathe (Artist!Kim Taehyung x Heiress!Reader) @v-hope

Obsidian (Murder mystery) @kpopfanfictrash

5 times he said i love you (slice of life au, fluff, angst out of nowhere) @n3onguts​

Jin

embers of the fire | ksj. ( husband!seokjin x f. reader) @chateautae​

#bts #bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #taehyung #bts kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook fluff #jungkook smut #jungkook fanfiction #dad!jungkook #jungkook #bts fluff #bts imagines #bts smut #fluff #smut

[svtbabiesrecs]

My Favourite Authors Updated: 2022

Hi! Hello! So i’ve been planning on doing this for a while, but since it’s a new year just ignore that we’re almost in february oof and i wanted to make an updated list of some of my favourite authors!

i’ve started stanning new groups, stopped reading for others and so i wanted a new updated list to reflect on that!

*this list is in no particular order and every single person on this list is so talented.

**also another note, i have recs from people who write about Enhypen on here. I only read the Hyung Line from Enhypen. This means i can’t tell you about the maknae line, but if it’s anything like their works for the hyung line, then rest assured it’ll be great too!

*** also i’m sorry if i got any group info wrong!

key:

♡︎ - any marked with this means that i love this author so much i’ll read any of their work regardless of that fact of if i know the group/s or not.

♡︎ @luvrbin ; (txt, tbz +more) BESTIE!! LET ME TELL YOU THEY ARE SO TALENTED!! I got into The Boyz because of them, i will read anything regardless of the group BECAUSE I LOVE THEIR WORK SO MUCH! also i simp hard now for sunwoo so you have them to thank for that hehe

@imagine-a-life-like-this ; (stray kids) So i’ve only been a Stay for around two? months? and they were one of the first blogs i read when it came to stray kids smaus. AND THEY ARE SO AMAZING!!! I’m so excited for their Jisung Soulmate au Jisung is my bias btw hehe and i already know the whole soulmate series is going to be FLAWLESS AND TRUST ME, I CANT WAIT BESTIES!

@plutominho ; (stray kids) TWO AMAZING WRITERS!! Again, another Stray Kids blog ‘cause i can’t get enough of Stray Kids rn and honestly if you want to be blessed with content then pls go support them!

@viastro ; (svt, tbz) writing? chefs kiss! smaus? chefs kiss. They can never fail in my eyes! everything they produce is gold. LIKE THE PURE TALENT!!

♡︎ @escapewriter ; (svt, tbz, ateez, stray kids) honestly their writing is pure perfection 🤩 love it, love it, love it!! if you want smaus and writings from multiple groups then this is the blog for you!!

@flickerchans ; (svt) i can’t tell you how many times i’ve read ‘About Now’, but let me tell you it’s a LOT. I honestly can’t wait to see what they do next and i’ll certainly be reading it🤩 also jihoon is my ultimate bias and this whole fic made my heart melt, solidify again and melt all over again. seriously, it’s amazing!

@ddeonuism ; (enhypen) THEYRE SO TALENTED AND CREATIVE!! Seriously support them please because their work is so amazing, you won’t regret it!!

@enhas-bestie ; (enhypen) just like everyone else on this list: AMAZING!! I’ve only really been a fan of Enhypen since maybe November, so i’m still kinda new to the group, but honestly their work is gold!

@iyeonjuni ; (txt, svt) EVERY PIECE IS A MASTERPIECE !!!! I’ve reread their work so so so many times and every time i enjoy myself more than the last. Even if you don’t stan TXT, i promise you, it’s still worth it to check out their work because it’s truly amazing!

@00-baejin-05 ; (txt) FLAWLESS! AMAZING! WONDERFUL! Their SMAUs are amazing! Another blog with fics ive read countless times because they’re truly amazing! 10/10 would recommend and read again!

@btxtreads ; (txt, bts) another blog i’ve read so many times! their work is amazing, it’s pulls at the heart strings and is just a blessing to read!

— — —

okay, so i think that’ll be enough for now haha. Over time, i’ll reblog this post to add more blogs. So for now, these are my go-to favourite people to read from!

i’m big fans of all of them and i hope they continue to write and create because every single person on this list deserves all the love and happiness in the world. PLEASE SUPPORT THEM AND CHECK THEM OUT!!!

so that’s all from me for now!

i hope you have a wonderful day! remember to eat, stay hydrated, take your meds if you take meds and most of all remember you are loved and are worthy of love. If no one else has told you today, i’m so proud of you and i’m proud of you for continuing on and for being you.

with all of my love,

H( ˘ ³˘)♥︎

#one of my favourite authors #svtbabiesrecs

[khrystalsnow]

February and March reads

🦋I've been swamped with school for the past two months, and these fics really saved me from dropping out of uni😭 I'm sorry if there's no reviews because this list is hella long(it’s mostly jungkook okay😭🤚🏼), but just know that I enjoyed each and every one of these fics.❤️

(pls let me know if there's any mistake or links that don’t work!)

LEGEND:

🥺Fluff

🤬Angst

😏Smut

😂Crack

❤️New Favourite

🦋KIM SEOKJIN

friends with snacks by @scriptaed 🥺

-roommates!au; friends to lovers!au; drabble

pretty girls don't get hurt by @ktheist  😏

-heir!doctor!seokjin x heiress!ceo!reader x best friend!heir!taehyung

uptown girl by @moononthejoon  😏🤬🥺

-bodyguard!seokjin + princess!reader + enemies to lovers!au

🦋MIN YOONGI

so I heard you like bad boys by @scriptaed 🥺

-uni!au; friends to lover!au; drabble

I'll Drive You by @min-youngis 🥺

-resident reader x idol yoongi

Buttering Up by @jimlingss 🥺

-Chef!AU

Fear and Dumplings by @softyoongiionly 🥺🤬😏❤️

-Underground Rapper! Yoongi, facing your fears

Greedy by @xjoonchildx 🤬😏❤️

-mafia AU

erotica by @whatifyoulivelikethat 😏

-non-idol!AU, they caught each other masturbating

baby, what's wrong? by @taeyohonic 🥺

-established relationship, idol au, reader has mild anxiety and a panic attack

until our last breath by @inkofyoongi 🥺

-Friends to lovers!AU, yoongi wants to be your boyfriend

switching my positions by @cupofteaguk  🥺🤬

-solo artist!yoongi, manager!y/n, fake dating au, friends to lovers au

universe by @personasintro  😏

-stalker au

Birthday Spanks by @jjungkookislife  😏

-free spanks!yoongi x free spanks!oc

new year, new us by @vantaenims  🥺🤬

-producer!yoongi x reader, exes au

The Mark of Yun-Ki by @ladyartemesia  😏🤬

-Hybrid/ABO AU, Royalty AU, Fantasy AU, Daechwita AU

baby, you can drive my car by @jungshookz 😂🥺😏🤬❤️

- mechanic!au, spoiltbrat!y/n 

Third Wheeling by @untaemedqueen  😏🥺🤬

-Strangers to Lovers!AU, Cheating, Unexpected Pregnancy, CEO!Yoongi 

desolate by @angelicyoongie​ 🤬😏🥺 NEW!

-cat hybrid

straight shooter by @snackhobi​ 😏🤬🥺❤️ NEW!

-hitman!yoongi, black market dealer/gunsmith!reader

pour some sugar on me by @yoonia 😏 NEW!

-Enemies to Lovers!au, Baker!au

🦋JUNG HOSEOK

same old mistakes by @xbaepsae 🥺😏🤬

-country club!au, rich boy!hoseok x reader

I Don’t Know What to Call This by @httphopewrld  🥺😏

-friend/lover/bfhoseok! x female reader

suncity by @jamaisjoons  😏🥺🤬

-trip to Barcelona, stranges to lovers au

cry to my room by @kithtaehyung  😏🤬

-friends to lovers, roommates au

play me like a toy by @ktheist  😏🤬

-mafia heiress!reader x ex-mafia!director!hoseok, chaebol-mafia family au. arranged marriage au

🦋KIM NAMJOON

Bear and Sparrow by @sahmfanficbts 😏🥺🤬❤️

-immigrant AU, strangers to lovers

Mr. and Mrs. Kim series by @sahmfanficbts 😏🥺

-every chapter is NSFW (married)

Call of Duty by @sahmfanficbts 🥺😏🤬

-Military!Namjoon x female!reader

you’ve got a friend in me by @wwilloww 😏

-best friend and roommate 

A Match Made in Heaven by @sahmfanficbts 😏🥺😂❤️

-Med School Resident!Namjoon x Dental School resident female!Reader, Strangers to Lovers

Laundry day by @snackhobi 😏🥺

-neighbour joon who caught you masturbating

beautiful boy by @jinpanman 🥺🤬❤️

-namjoon x OC, namjoon x reader, single dad!namjoon, baby!jimin

unbroken by @sahmfanficbts  😏🥺🤬

-Idol!Namjoon x Female Bonsai Grower!Reader, from one-night stand to forever

glasses-clad boy by @jeongi  😏🥺

-tutor joon

these hands are calloused. by @ktheist  🥺🤬

-underground fighter!namjoon x florist!reader

Forget Me Not by @joontopia​ 🤬🥺😏NEW!

-exes to lovers, valentine’s day

🦋PARK JIMIN

Perfect Pebble by @jjkthclub 🥺

-they meet at a wedding and they go on dates because oc doesn't believe in love

PARK JIMIN HAS SEEN MY GRANNY PANTIES by @ladyartemesia  😏😂

-teachers AU, the reader falls down the stairs

delivered, I’m yours by @suhdays  😂🥺

-valet jimin x baker reader

driver’s license by @gyukult 🤬

-coming-of-age, one-sided!au, brothersbestfriend!au

plums & melons by @winetae  😏😂🤬

-brother’s best friend!au

tears on a silver platter by @flowerwrites06 🤬❤️NEW!

-Idol!Jimin x OC (Name: Gaia), jimin calls his girlfriend clingy

moonlight by @kooksea 😏🥺 NEW!

-singer!jimin, traveller!jimin, artist!reader

🦋KIM TAEHYUNG

Endymion by @marginalmadness 😏❤️

-Druid!Taehyung x Witch!Reader

welcome to my youtube channel by @tteokggukk 🥺

-idol!taehyung x youtuber!reader

Comeback Home by @another-army-spot 😏🤬🥺❤️

-exs-to-lovers!au, teenparents!au, college!tae, businesswoman!oc

heart strung symphonies by @inkedtae  😏🥺🤬

-opera singer!taehyung x pianist!reader

Saudade by @chateautae  😏🥺🤬

-idol!taehyung x choreographer!reader, established relationship

kinda hot by @kimnjss  😏🥺🤬❤️

-campus flirt!taehyung x sweet girl!reader, sm au, best friends to lovers

definition of love by @taegularities  😏🥺🤬

-college!au, tae takes interest in you, past minor character death, mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of unhealthy coping mechanisms

the snow king by @bloomsuga  😏🥺🤬❤️

-princess!reader x ice prince!tae

cursed by @bloomsuga 😂🥺🤬😏 NEW!

-witch!taehyung x cursed!reader, sm au

🦋JEON JUNGKOOK

golden hour by @tteokggukk 😏

-photographer! jungkook x reader

At the stroke of Midnight by @pars-ley 🥺😏🤬

-A Cinderella story au / comedy / popular jock jungkook / best friend Jimin

cry baby by@namgee 😏🥺

-fwb au, rollerskating

Heart of the Storm by @ladyartemesia 🥺😏🤬

-Secret Feelings/Strangers to Lovers

baecation by @1kook 😏

-richboy!jk, vacation

a table turned. and a line crossed. by @underthejoon 😏

-guard jk and oc is a tease

exclamation mark by @whatifyoulivelikethat 😏

-non-idol!AU; tattoo artist, dom!Jungkook x tattooed, sub!reader

Give Me A Try by @jjkthclub 😏

-friendstolovers!au, jungkook is the campus fuckboy

Domestic Fairy by @borathae 🥺😏

-established relationship, domestic!AU

open invitation by @jimidol  😏🥺🤬

-duke!jungkook x duchess!reader

take my whole life too by @ktheist  😏🤬

-chaebol au. arranged marriage au. expecting parents au, house husband!jeongguk

love letter by @whatifyoulivelikethat  😏

-non-idol!BTS, jk gets love letters 

tingle by @hansolmates  😏

-tattoo artist!jungkook x tattooed!reader (f)

come over by @bratkook  😏

-jungkook is a self proclaimed pervert, voyeurism through bedroom windows

i don't mind by @bratkook  😏🥺🤬❤️

-rockstar!Jungkook x reader, jk being chased by security and barges oc’s car

busted in busan by @hansolmates  😏🥺🤬

- snowbound at the airport, christmas detour!au

crush by @jungxk  🥺😂😏🤬

-jk got hit by a car and lost some of his memories

Days to Morning Glory by @sketchguk  🤬😏🥺

-Aspiring Rockstar!Jeongguk x Med. Student!Reader, exes to lovers, roommate AU, high school sweethearts

stranded by @gguksgalaxy  😏🥺🤬

-Enemies to lovers, fuck/badboy!Jungkook, they study for their law exam

concrete king by @bratkook  🥺😏❤️

- skaterboy!jk x reader, sweet summer romance

risky business by @jjkthclub  😏

-enemiestolovers!au, office bathroom sex

ZOOM CALL by @1kook  🥺😏❤️

-comfort fic, quarantine fic

roses, poetry and jeon by @seraphimguks  🥺🤬

-bookstore employee!jungkook x reader

ocean eyes by @jimidol  🥺😏

-firefighter!jungkook x teacher!reader, he surprised you by dying his hair based on your favorite song.

shiver by @hansolmates  😏🤬❤️

- bad boy!jungkook x church girl!reader, childhood friends to lovers

clandestine by @junghelioseok  😏🥺

-brother’s best friend!au, 

One-Step Forward, Two-Steps Back by @oureuphoria  🤬🥺

-tattoo artist jungkook x college student reader, oc falls for her roommate’s fwb

I like U by @pbandjk  😏🥺🤬

-fratboy! Fwb Jungkook Au, oc is a boss lady in the tech industry

A Date With Destiny by @missgeniality  😏🥺😂

-Strangers to Lovers, Idol!AU, 

the art of wanting by @venusiangguk 😏

-dilf!jk x grocery store clerk!oc

brown-eyed baby by @jeonstudios 😏🥺🤬

-exes to friends to lovers, single dad!jk x reader, a lost child at the mall

almost home by @angelguk  🤬

-dad!jungkook & nanny!oc, both jungkook and oc are scarred from their previous relationships

the secret beneath our stars by @subvk  🤬😏

-friends to lovers au, marriage pact with jk

Blue Spring by @adonis-koo​  😏🥺🤬

-Single dad!Jungkook/Reader, Daycare AU, Slice of life

jealousy by @jimidol 🥺🤬😏 NEW!

-tattoo artist!jungkook, parents au

young one by @bts-reveries 🤬🥺❤️ NEW!

-photographer, dad!jungkook x hostess, mom!reader, sm au and written

effortlessly by @gyukult 😏🥺NEW!

-friends to lovers, school!au

selfie by @whatifyoulivelikethat 🥺😏NEW!

-rom-com, slice-of-life, oppa’s bestfriend!Jungkook x SHINee fangirl!reader

too close by @cutechim 🤬NEW!

-wife!reader x boxer!jungkook (ft. ex boyfriend!namjoon)

caked by @gukslut 🥺😏 NEW!

-Established Relationship, very smutty

My Time by @btsracket 😏 NEW!

-rich, dom jungkook spoiling his girl

The Speedo by @gukslut 😏🥺 NEW!

-oc thinks he’s a fuckboy, but he has fallen in love

the ebb and flow (part 8) by @xbaepsae 🤬 NEW!

-demigod!jeongguk x demigod!reader, percy jackson!au

🦋OT7/SERIES

Gangs of Fate by @pars-ley  🥺🤬

-Mafia au / feat. Members of Exo

bon appetite series by @jamaisjoons

-Valentines series

Guarded series by @xjoonchildx 

-mafia AU

#ReadingList #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #FebruaryandMarchReadingList