While i was listening to this song by Paloma Faith. I realized that sometimes it’s not the butterflies you feel in your stomach or suddenly your world slows down when you see someone you like that tell you that you are in love but the PAIN! Yes, the pain!
Kaya pala pag tinatanong mo ang isang tao kung bakit ka nagpapakatanga sa taong iyan??? Eh nasasaktan kana.
Swallowed the hardest truth of all, don’t love me at all. You’re drunk some where trying to act like I don’t even exist. I’m at the part of the dance we’re I’ve accepted everything, and I’m trying to turn the page but the pages keep cutting me so deep, that’ve become stuck on a page, just stuck just sitting in thought, is anything real, “I’ve got to get better, I have to move on” maybe nothing was real to you, but it was damaging but beautiful. But it was something that was, and I need to remember the most important thing of all, nothing last forever, I’ve enjoyed the time I’ve had, and life keeps going even if you don’t want it too. The days start not to feel so long anymore, and as son as you know it, you’re months away, even though the cut feels so fresh almost like it happened yesterday, when someone says his name the knot in my stomach hurts so bad I don’t think that will ever go away, I’m getting used to , getting used to living with a broken heart , a broken soul, a broken person, but the beauty is still in me, still all around me, just never gonna let someone get the chance to hurt me like that, won’t let love take me down again , or what I thought was love. And I won’t let someone get close because I don’t wanna open up I wanna just enjoy being with myself. Because I lost myself loving you. And I won’t lose myself again. Im more important than anything. Recovery, moving on, moving on in a way, im not sure how im even doing it. Maybe isn’t not moving on , it’s just me keep living with how things are because I have no choice. Taking care of my mental health because I’ve destroyed my inner love for myself and become mentally unstable, because of all the unwanting and unloving and unnecessary amount of being forgotten this is only the first season of bounce back , stay tuned
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I’m just not okay but you’d never notice 😢 #selfie #selflove #selfportrait #sad #brokeninside https://www.instagram.com/p/CkUmE-Wr84X/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
You ever feel like you just want to grab you softest, comfiest blanket and roll up in the corner and just listen to music hugging your stuffed animal or watching something on your phone/ tablet so time can fly by. As the minutes move you try to understand why you feel this numb thing in your chest. Despite being happy, despite smiling and doing things you love doing you feel it there. It is a feeling you don’t get when someone asks you what it is different words may come out each time but at the end it’s still the same thing that you ask yourself. Why? Why do I feel so Hollow?