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couldtransitionsaveher · 2 months

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Archetype Exploration: Perfect Soldiers

(Hey, please look at this blog's pinned post before reading this post; it gives a lot of context for the lens I'm looking at these characters through, k thx. also, shoutout to @finalgirl-nihilbliss for guessing the archetype)

CW: Abuse, Projection, Surface-Level Media Analysis

If your comfort character exhibits any of the following symptoms:

constant brooding

face frozen in a perpetual scowl

possession of a "dark past" they don't like to talk about

frequent blank stares into the middle distance

constantly trains for something uncertain

You may have just found yourself in the presence of a Perfect Soldier.

Perfect soldiers are characters who were groomed, often from birth, for the sole purpose of inflicting harm on their fellow man. These characters are efficient, tactically-minded, and above all else, violent. Perfect soldiers will often excel at combat and strategy, but struggle with emotional sensitivity.

Note that just because these characters are violent and closed off now doesn't mean that this is their natural temperament. Often, perfect soldiers have some kind of natural compassion that was stomped out through years of abuse training. This can come in the form of a sole loved one who tragically died, but more often than not, it simply manifests as a soft side sanded away.

If the Perfect Soldier doesn't start that way, who is to blame for their transformation? In sci-fi and fantasy, this transformation is usually caused by a morally corrupt institution built to churn out perfect soldiers (the Jedi Academy, the Galalunan Military Academy, the Space Marine Legions, etc.). Other times, perfect soldiers are groomed raised by a cruel and abusive father figure (Endeavor, Bro Strider, Belos, etc.). Some settings even blend the two by having an institution with a twisted general (think Shadow Weaver from She-Ra).

Typically, if a perfect soldier has a character arc, it's usually one of healing and letting go of their anger. This almost always contains at least two of these three steps in the order of your choosing:

The perfect soldier leaves the institution of their torment, either by circumstance or by excommunication. Once on the outside, they'll typically find that their raw might is irrelevant to their survival, and they'll instead need to rely on their lacking social skills. This exit from the comfort zone will prompt the soldier to learn a lot of people skills, typically leading to a "softening up" of sorts. Note that this doesn't have to be a literal escape from a physical place. Rather, it could just be a character being outside their guardian's zone of influence.

The perfect soldier discovers some imperfection with their guardian/institution. Perhaps there's some kind of inconsistency in its moral values. Other times, the soldier finds a secret the guardian/institution has been covering up. Whatever it is, this will prompt the soldier to question their leaders' infallibility.

The perfect soldier meets a person who shows concern for them in spite of the soldier's outward hostility. This outside party will likely witness or hear about the perfect soldier's tumultuous upbringing and take pity on them. This will likely prompt an attempt to reach out to the soldier, something which may or may not be rejected. Whatever the case, this act compassion will likely stick with the soldier, and prompt them to think about their own worth.

An arc like this usually resolves with a direct confrontation with the abusive mentor(s) who turned them into a weapon of war. If the soldier is a member of the supporting cast, this may come in the form of some heroic self-sacrifice, usually to protect the aforementioned outside party. Alternatively, if the soldier is a protagonist, their confrontation will likely be much more active, and may even be a proper fight. The soldier tends to win this fight either with the power of friendship or compassion but this isn't a strict requirement. If the writers really want to get spicy with it, they might even spare their tormentor, really leaning into the idea of abandoning violence (note that this runs the risk of coming off as a "forgive your abusers" narrative).

Alternatively, the lack of a grand confrontation can be a form of narrative resolution in and of itself. Living well is the best revenge, after all, and showing that our former perfect soldier has moved on to a happier, more peaceful life can be a far stronger statement of growth than a glitzy fight to the death.

(This is the part where I tie this whole thing back into the gimmick of the account. If you just wanted a Trope Talk style summary of the archetype, you've seen all there is to see. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to do your daily clicks.)

Why do you keep submitting this?

So, out of all the characters that I've seen submitted, this is easily the most prolific character archetype. At the time of writing, somewhere between 40-50 characters that have been posted roughly fit this archetype, and that's not including any of the characters I haven't posted yet.

Why do submitters connect this particular trope with trans women so damn much?

Firstly, it's important to consider that in most western fiction, the soldier is an inherently masculine archetype. From the classical epics of the Odyssey and the Iliad, to the superheroes and action stars of modern-day blockbusters, there's a very real conflation between a character's manhood and a character's capacity to do violence. A lot of mainstream military propaganda does the same, suggesting that men who enlist are more "authentically masculine" than those who do. This archetype serves as a critique of that idea; it shows us that this masculine ideal can be, and often is, a soul-crushing experience. In a sense, the idea of transitioning serves as an escape from this image.

Furthermore, it's important to consider what this character arc is actually about: a miserable character discovering that a better life is possible, and making steps to achieve personal peace. Often, these characters are fiercely loyal to the institutions that take advantage of them. These characters are often fine with it because they can't conceive of a better world. Once that's presented to them, that's when they start to leave. Frankly, given that a lot of people still don't end up knowing about trans folks until they're adults, I'm surprised more trans people don't connect to characters like this.

Finally, this arc gets back to the core question at the center of this blog: could transition have saved her? The archetype, in its construction necessitates a level of misery, ergo it implies that the character needs saving. It's no wonder these characters tend to garner a lot of Hurt/Comfort fanfic (Anakin Skywalker alone has more Hurt/Comfort fic than some of my favorite fandoms period). There's an inherent desire for these characters have better lives, and maybe some estrogen could do it.

This is my best guess, anyway. If you have thoughts, feel free to share them.

#archetype exploration #trope analysis #cw abuse #cw projection #cw surface level media analysis #transgender #sorry for taking so long to finish this post #i've been trying to phrase it as delicately as possible

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veeagainsttheday · 6 months

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Ed, Killing, and the Kraken in Our Flag Means Death S1 and S2

This meta contains a whole heckuva a lot of spoilers for Our Flag Means Death seasons 1 and 2. Thanks to @petrichorca who gave it a read through and left some helpful comments!

When we first get to know Ed in s1e4, the episode concludes with him telling his first mate, Izzy Hands, about his plans to murder Stede Bonnet and steal his identity so Ed can retire from piracy. Ed and Izzy discuss the plan in a casual manner, like this act isn't shocking or deviant from previous conversations and schemes Ed and Izzy have had before. This is consistent with how other characters, especially Black Pete, have described Blackbeard in previous episodes (‘when Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child…’). While Black Pete is (probably) lying, Buttons was with him until the flip.

As the song ‘The Empty Boat’ by Caetano Veloso plays, Izzy tells Ed, 'You've still got it' and Ed says, 'I know,' turning away to face the empty deck. Only the audience witnesses his true facial expression - the Blackbeard mask falling, a kind of dead-eyed exhaustion (echoed by the lyrics of the song) taking its place.

In s1e5, we see Ed threaten violence against the French captain, but he doesn't actually hurt the man himself. We also see him act as if he's about to go kill the French partygoers before Stede steps in and 'handles it'. At this point I think we the audience would, if asked, have said that Ed seems to have a casual attitude towards killing that you would expect from 'the legendary Blackbeard'. He's scary ('next one goes through your fucking eyeball') and almost cartoonishly violent ('skin him. And use the snail fork'). So we the audience maybe make some assumptions about where the show stands on violent killing - not only that Blackbeard is familiar with it, but that it's a commonplace act for him.

Then we come to a pivotal moment. In s1e6, Izzy pushes back on Ed for not killing Stede, there’s the conversation about doggy heaven, and Ed promises Izzy that he’ll be the one to do the killing. We see Ed hyping himself up (‘You’re a killer bro. So kill.’) and then holding his knife while standing next to Stede behind the curtain in the captain’s cabin. They’re interrupted by Lucius cutting off his finger. Ed doesn’t go through with it; the moment passes as Stede exits the curtain to announce the entrance of the Kraken.

At this point, I as an audience member fully believed that Ed couldn’t kill Stede because of his feelings for him. I wasn’t yet sure what those feelings were, but I knew that Ed had a deep affection for Stede, and for a moment I believed that was all that was holding him back. Then, of course, we see Ed have a PTSD/panic attack trigger from the Kraken fuckery that sends him into Stede’s bathtub, hiding underneath Stede’s robe, where he and Stede have what I believe is the most intimate moment of the entire first season (a reading supported by s2e3). Ed tells Stede, ‘The Kraken didn’t kill my dad. I did.’ We are shown the flashbacks to the way Ed’s father abused him and his mother, and the Kraken story he told on deck earlier is shown again with the figure of the beast in the water replaced by himself, as a young teen, on the dock.

Then Ed tells Stede, ‘If I’m being honest, I haven’t killed another man since.’ Stede tries to comfort him by reminding him how much he loves a good maim, but Ed is still preoccupied with how the fact that he killed his abusive father as a child means that he’s not a good person, and that this is why he doesn’t have any friends, aka, isn’t loveable. Stede tells him, ‘I’m your friend,’ in essence, To me, you are loveable, and Ed reacts by saying, ‘No,’ and banging his head against the tub.

The next important point happens in s1e8, when Jack invites himself to breakfast and regales Stede (very deliberately, as he’s trying to push Stede and Ed apart) with the tale of Ed setting a ship alight and killing many people. (Also note - the show’s first mention of Hornigold! ‘He treated us like dogs! Worse than dogs!’ and ‘Ground us down into nothing!’) While Jack emphasises the horror and brutality of what Ed did, Ed’s demeanour completely changes - ‘No, Stede doesn’t want to hear about that.’ Jack obviously doesn’t listen to Ed; Stede’s face passes from horrified listening to Jack to squinting at Ed like, ‘Is this - true?’ Ed looks thoroughly guilty as the story continues and Stede asks him, clearly doing his best to preserve Ed’s secret in front of Jack, ‘I thought you’d, uh, given up the killing?’ Ed surges forward in his seat and, not making eye contact with Stede, says, ‘Yeah, well, technically the fire killed those guys. Not me.’ The camera then cuts to Jack looking at Stede with a bit of an incredulous expression as if he’s both gauging Stede’s reaction to the entire thing and thinking, ‘Wow BB’s in deep here if he’s making up some weird story about not being the one who lit that fire.’

I don’t think the show intends for us to believe that Ed was consciously lying to Stede in the bathtub scene in s1e6. Instead, we see the complex way that Ed - who is shown to be both brilliant and possessed of an internal monologue that just cannot shut up - has constructed mental barriers to protect himself from the trauma of killing while still achieving the highest possible status in a very violent profession and existing in a world marred by colonial violence perpetrated specifically against people like him.

S1e9 shows Ed continuing to posture to everyone but Stede as Blackbeard, seasoned killer (for example, telling Chauncey that he barely remembers killing Nigel because he’s ‘a real “life is cheap” kinda guy’). At the Academy and briefly after, in the beginning of s1e10, Ed seems set to have given up killing and violence for real, but Izzy’s threats in the cabin in s1e10 send Ed reeling back to the Kraken persona he assumed when he killed his dad. The season concludes with him pushing Lucius off the ship and Krakening up to sail, rob, and raise hell forever - but the final shot shows Ed crying alone in his cabin, his Kraken makeup streaking down his face. It’s heartbreaking, but it’s one of my favourite scenes from a character perspective. Imagine if the season had ended with Ed fully transformed into the Kraken, rather than clearly miserable and heartbroken under his mask?

Season 2 begins with Ed trying to set a record for most consecutive raids, working his crew to death under brutal and traumatic conditions. His list of crimes on his wanted poster certainly suggests a lot of violence and killing, yet the show is careful to show us Ed himself only seeming to kill one person - firing a gun into a man’s back during a raid - and if you look closely, you’ll see that the man was already dying with a dagger through his body. It feels vital to me that the only direct ‘killing’ action we see Ed taking is shooting a man who we presume he can justify as having been already on his way to death.

In s2e1 and s2e2, Ed can’t kill Izzy, though he does try desperately to get Frenchie to do it for him. He can’t even kill himself, trying to get Izzy to do it instead. When he thinks Izzy has committed suicide with the gun he gave him, he says, ‘I loved you, best I could,’ as if any love Ed could give would by its nature not be good enough.

Ed wakes in s2e3 in the care of his old captain, Hornigold; of course, he’s really in the gravy basket and Hornigold is serving as a Jacob Marley-esque psychopomp. They key to Ed realising that he’s really [Buttons voice] ‘down in the old gravy basket’ is the conversation that concludes his attempts to be Jeff the Innkeeper. Hornigold tells Ed that he’s not good with people - after all, he did strangle his father. Ed reacts first with disbelief then cold fury, saying he never told anyone that; Hornigold reminds him that he told one person and Ed flashes back to telling Stede in the bathtub in s1e6; then Hornigold reminds him that the one person he told left him, and we see Ed crying under his Kraken makeup at the end of s1e10. Later, when Ed (finally, even Calico Jack would have had it sooner) realises that Hornigold represents himself, he says that he’s unloveable. Here’s the crux of it - he believes that he is fundamentally unloveable because he killed his father, because he is the Kraken, the monstrous beast capable of lethal violence. That’s why Stede left, his brain is telling him even as he’s dying.

Then Stede actually proves him wrong by returning, saving him from death, and telling him that he ‘love[s] everything about [him]’ in rapid succession. Whether or not Ed fully accepts this information, we do see him very quickly, yes, melt back into Stede’s arms. Which brings us to s2e6, and Stede’s killing of Ned Low.

Quick digression into killing and Stede: Stede accidentally kills a man in s1e1, is haunted by his ghost in s1e2. He’s so haunted by dead Nigel that he spends a lot of s1e2 asking first Oluwande and Jim for advice on being a ‘mur-der-er’, and then asking Black Pete how his former employer, Blackbeard (!!!) handled killing. (How Pete says, ‘When Blackbeard kills man, woman, or child-’ lives in my head at all times, Matt Maher with the line deliveries of all time.) Finally in s1e2, during his court-mandated therapy with the tribal elder, Stede admits that he doesn’t feel bad about killing Nigel - he was a horrible person even when he was a child! Stede's guilt is coming from somewhere else. We see this again in s1e9, when Stede says it is time for him to face the consequences for what he’s done - it might seem like he means for killing Nigel, since that’s why he’s about to face the firing squad, but we know that Stede’s guilt is about abandoning his family (the people he’s hurt!). Similarly, when Stede kills Ned in s2e6, he seems to get over it very quickly. Ned is clearly a bad guy, and although the act of killing him was traumatic for Stede (much like the act of killing Nigel), Stede presumably reconciles it by knowing that he was protecting Ed and his crew (and avenging Calypso’s birthday). Stede as a character is shown to have a tremendous amount of natural resilience. We later see him immolate a guy and dispatch a number of British soldiers without hesitation. Stede is also one of the two main protagonists of the show, and his attitude towards killing seems to reflect the attitude of the show itself - killing colonisers and torturers to protect your loved ones is ok, actually.

(Side note but I found this idea about how zero tolerance policies actually hurt victims very informative on the topic of why it's ok that Stede killed his childhood bully; I got that link from this very interesting post where several people are in conversation about how Ed is not Izzy's abuser.)

Back to Ed in s2e6. He asks Stede not to kill Ned; when Stede does anyway, Ed is visibly saddened and ignores Izzy telling him to give Stede a moment; instead he goes immediately to check in on Stede in his cabin. He knocks on the door and in that soft voice that he only ever uses with Stede, he starts to say, ‘Hey. You okay? Look, I was a wreck after my first kill as well.’ Then he pauses, before rambling, ‘I mean, well, it was my dad, so there's that,’ which feels like a little moment of self-reflection. Like. Yeah. Ed. Baby. You might be super fucked up about the act of killing because the first guy you killed was your dad, when you were a literal child! Also, Ed has never been to (as far as we know) court-mandated tribal elder therapy, so of course his decision to kill his father fucked Ed up for decades! Also as a very clever friend pointed out, we don’t know anything about what the consequences of that were for Ed - how did his mother react, is that why he ran away to sea, etc.

There's another important thing here that the audience knows, but that Ed has never told Stede (or, we have to assume, anyone) which is that the catalyst for Ed becoming the Kraken to kill his father was abuse. The audience is shown through his panic-attack-induced flashback that Ed's father physically and verbally abused his mother and presumably him too. All Ed has ever said to Stede or anyone about it, as far as we know, was his joke to the crew during scary story hour that his dad was a dick. Stede can probably infer roughly why Ed killed his dad, but he doesn't know the details, and he loves everything about Ed anyway, and now Ed knows that Stede does too.

So Ed and Stede have sex, and as many metas have pointed out (like this one!), it's so meaningful that Ed feels safe enough to give up his Blackbeard/Kraken identity the very next morning. He attempts to get Stede to see that it might be nice to not be pirates anymore due to the high chance of death but Stede manages to completely misread it and laughs it off. (To be fair to Stede, they're both horrible at communicating and Ed is not saying what he wants in any direct manner.) Ed proceeds to have his big beautiful brain start to spiral out of control as Jackie points out how popular Stede is becoming as a pirate; Ed panics, tells Stede he doesn’t even know who he is, and leaves to become a fisherman before he can get left (again!).

As Ed rows away from his failed career as a fisherman in s2e8, his boss Pop-Pop (who he has managed to recreate a fucked up father-son dynamic with that like so many things in his show is played for laughs but has pretty dark undertones) yells after him, 'If you were ever good at anything, go and do that, you bum.' Ed rows back into the port of the Republic of Pirates and sees the destruction Prince Ricky has wrought upon the pirate community. Ed's first thought is, Stede, and then he imagines Stede calling for help before straight up murdering two British soldiers. He remembers Pop-Pop's words and says, 'Have it your way,' before diving into the sea, retrieving his leather, putting it on underwater, and emerging from the waves fully dressed. It's fantastically hot and the exact level of drama I expect from this man. The Kraken musical cue is playing as it happens.

We now see Ed murdering British soldiers in the coolest ways possible, demonstrating his skill at fighting in hand to hand combat. One way to read him taking Pop-Pop's advice is that this is what he's good at - killing and violence.

But you know what Ed’s even better at? Protecting the people he loves. His mother, himself, and Stede. Each time Ed becomes the Kraken, he fulfils that. He protects his mother from his father, himself from Izzy after being warned that ‘[Edward] better watch his fucking step’, and Stede from the invading colonisers who want to destroy their freedom. But something has changed the third time he does it - this time, he can tell Stede that he loves him and he doesn't mean it as a tainted thing, but something that he knows Stede will treasure. He's both loveable and capable of loving. He always has been, of course, but now he knows it. The Kraken, the part of him that is capable of killing, was always a defence mechanism for Ed, but the third time he understands it and himself enough to know that it doesn’t make him a monster.

#ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 meta #ofmd meta #edward teach #blackbeard #our flag means death meta #our flag means death

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chaifootsteps · 3 months

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Stolas Project/Stolas rewrite anon again! Thank you so much - yes, I'll absolutely share my rewrite idea with you! Here it is:

Firstly, I think everything but the sexual abuse and childhood friends can be salvaged - the grimoire, Stella, Via, etc. A rewrite where Stolas TRULY did nothing wrong is just bland, after all. Especially as by 'tragic operatic figure', I mean characters such as the Phantom of the Opera, or Mr. Darcy. Those are men who are CERTAINLY not without fault.

In my mind, the best version of Stolas is an old man - an aloof, intimidating noble known for his personal army and his scientific brilliance. He's a bit mysterious; preferring to keep to himself and his studies. Gossip calls him 'the Hermit', 'the Astronomer', or 'the Scientist'. He loves to insert himself into mortal scientific debate, often being a 'spark of brilliance' in fellow eccentrics, or, more commonly, talent-less hacks that will only serve to spread misinformation and discourse. He's been playing the climate change game for years. NFTs were a joke made while drunk off his arse.

This would be how he's introduced - the frightening, eccentric general who keeps to himself and who rewrites the Truth based on his own hypothesis.

His isolation runs deeper than disinterest or scientific pursuit, though. Stolas is, in truth, a bleeding heart. Obviously, bleeding heart means something different for demons - he's still sadistic and likes sowing intellectual discourse, but there's a dignity to that in his eyes. The no-holds-barred, knives-out culture of his fellow nobles makes him deeply uncomfortable. Whilst he's prejudiced, the outright hostility towards imps makes his stomach churn. Science is easy because facts don't have feelings, but social gatherings do. Humans can't defame him in a way that matters.

Stolas has a reputation he's expected to uphold, and he feels as if playing socialite game or even appearing to the public at all will spell his doom. He just isn't confident in swaying the public as he is studying black holes or teaching Via how to command her father's army. He adores her, and he's terrified of what he may put her through if he makes a mistake.

This can partly be that, perhaps, Paimon is still Stolas's father and still far meaner than Stolas could ever hope to be. All the expectations of hell royalty - the cruelty, the meddling, the pleasure - all planted by his father. The rest of hell is presented as a frightening enemy, which encourages Stolas to sequester away. His army was passed down from his father, and he rarely uses it. This relationship could create a theme in children feeling unloved by their parents in Stolas that I'll elaborate on later with Via.

Combine all these aspects together, Stolas feels trapped. Trapped in his research, trapped in the bodies of tech bros and tiktok witches he peers through, trapped in his marriage, trapped by his father, trapped in his status. The shy rich scientist grows dissatisfied with expectations and with comfort. He craves freedom.

Stella isn't just an evil woman who exists to torment Stolas anymore. Their marriage IS arranged, and loveless. However I think they have a sort of Fredrick the Great and Catherine the Great dynamic - they don't have any love for eachother, but they don't want to make eachother miserable. Stella is sympathetic to his plight - she too is stern and aloof, but because she feels forced to to protect herself. She's the face of the family, and is used to playing defense. Being a woman in hell, more eyes are on her by default. Her life has been decided for her, and she has a role to play. For the sake of herself, for the sake of him, and for the sake of their daughter.

They would both do anything for Via. Via doesn't make them love eachother, but she makes them stay together to raise her. Via is aware of this, deep down, regardless of whether she catches her parents admitting it or not. Their lack of love, but persistent solidarity makes that palpable. Via grows up with the burden that stability rests on her, that love does not exist without her.

So Stolas and Stella agree - they don't have to like each-other, but they need to trust each-other for Via's sake. So long as they can be loyal, at least, they can go on and spend their lives doing their own thing. They won't interfere with eachother, won't demand anything of each other. They just need to be loyal to eachother. Stella never strays.

At first, neither does Stolas.

Blitzo trying to stealth into the party is their first meeting. Instead of taking him to his chambers to ""ravish"" him, Stolas is genuinely just looking to interrogate this most fascinating and audacious imp. Blitzo tries to seduce him, and Stolas actually rebukes the attempts. By the devil's footprints, he's a married man! What's wrong with this mongrel? The audacity! He smooths out his feathers, which have definitely only fluffed due to rage. On top of that, he catches on that Blitzo is trying to steal one of his tomes. This leads to a boiling point, and...

...The grimoire.

Rather than a plot device, the grimoire can be more symbolic to the give-and-take; the relative freedom they both feel in their relationship. I think there is real potential for exploring a forbidden gay yearning romance with real power imbalance at play, just without the rape shit. The grimoire could be a good representation of that, and its symbology relevant to their relationship can be based on how it's shared between them. I can see its relevance be handled several ways: a) A pact. Most like canon as far as I know. HOWEVER, there is no sexual favor coercion bullshit. it's strictly a business deal/typical devil pact. Blitzo's desperation and hubris have bungled his introduction to Stolas so badly that he's drawn the Hermit's attention. He can have his grimoire, but he must bring it back to Stolas and must consider himself as one of Stolas's legionnaires. While Blitzo can't really say no, having pissed off a demonic prince, it isn't for sexual coercion and neither consider themselves to have legitimate romantic or sexual feelings for eachother. That's a slowburn, stemming from Stolas's fascination for Blitzo's free spirit and Blitzo discovering Stolas's gentle, socially awkward science nerd side. Also creates a jumping board for episodes where IMP runs tasks for Stolas and it's more like watching a Batman episode from the perspective of Joker's goons.

b) A gift with strings attached. Instead of getting angry, Stolas becomes pitying of Blitzo. He offers the grimoire as a "kindness" (though with an air of condescension against imps that makes Blitzo uneasy) instead of a punishing pact, but still has Blitzo agree to bring the book back to him and to be willing to act as Stolas's dagger in the shadows should he demand it.

From there, their relationship becomes defined as an uneasy business truce. In my mind, Stolitz would work best as two people trying to seek freedom, potentially finding it in eachother, but their relationship is affected by the same metaphorical shackles they're trying to escape from - for Blitzo far more than Stolas. Even without any of the SA bullshit, Stolas still has a lot of power in this dynamic, even if he's well-meaning. But Stolas is a deeply repressed man, and Blitzo represents that running away, that freedom he's been looking for. But he's also a reminder of what he has to lose, should he give into temptation.

Stolas's kidnapping can be a turning point (instead of kidnapped by his wife and Striker, a character whose service to Stella butchers that character in his own right, perhaps he's kidnapped by a rival noble or by that weird mafia I know jackshit about), and in their business dealings they have lots of little moments of vulnerability that pile up. Stolas shows Blitzo his research as Blitzo is turning in a hit, Stolas starts helping Blitzo's business stay afloat in ways WITH no strings attached, etc. Look My Way happens during Stolas's moment of realization that he does have feelings for Blitzo, the audacious, free-spirited little imp that dared to steal from the Hermit.

I think we can keep his gag of terrifying, lust-filled speeches too - just have them be during moments of consent instead of unprompted sexual harassment. Stolas finally crumbles and begins admitting what he wants to do with Blitzo, and it snowballs into a rabid tirade that marks Blitzo down as scared and horny. It makes their confession and move into something like lovers exciting, intense, and silly, and it devolves into a night of passion. For a moment, they're both free.

But he experiences REAL consequences for his infidelity, with no 'oh poor baby Stolas' rigamarole. Stella is rightfully furious at him. The ONE thing they agreed to, and he couldn't even uphold that. She is devastated, and for once in her life is sided with. I don't think anyone besides her cares about the morality of cheating all that much, it's more-so about the tarnished status and the fact he couldn't even get away with it. Still, the family name is ruined and he loses MANY comforts in the divorce, including his daughter.

But more than that, his relationship with Via will never be the same. You can still have episodes where Via tries to bond with him, but Stolas committed (and by virtue of being with Blitzo, continues to commit) the sort of betrayal that never really gets healed by time. In her eyes, her father finally got sick of playing house and abandoned her for a new family that she never even met. She feels failed and replaced.

From there, you can have an arc of Stolas trying to adjust after the fallout of his infidelity, and can have Blitzo closing himself off from their messy intimacy (rather than trying to escape a sexually abusive relationship). Stuff like that.

That's my take on a better Stolas. Hope you enjoyed reading!

Holy hell, I was on the edge of my seat all throughout this! This was sublime.

Thank you for that five minute vacation to a better word.

#Anonymous #Stolitz critical #helluva boss critical #viv stuff #actual blog post #Stolas rewrite anon

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sophswritingthings · 5 months

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NVM FIGURED OUT PART 7 LOL

So after reader calmed down by Mizu she opens up about how her childhood was always weighing down on her due to be one of the oldest in he family (she has 3 older brothers and this will probably be important later down in the other parts.) and how it was always expected of her to exceed.

She starts to say how her mom even ran away from her dad due to how demented he is and how controlling and manipulative he is. Then talks about how her only sense of security is her three older brothers who suddenly went missing. (They're alive don't worry).

Then Mizu starts to talk about her childhood and past which made reader cry again. Then reader realizes she needs to leave her home in the mountains because she keeps getting ambushed bro 🤬🤬. So she walks into town and declares she's leaving to al of the townsfolk she's been with for year's.

Then she becomes a travelling doctor with her travelling Samurai wife 😸😸😸

(Honestly not my most creative ask but I'm literally in a restaurant rn)

pairing: mizu x fem!apothecary!reader

warning(s): swearing, mentions of abuse

a/n: YAYYYY PART 7!! let’s go baby let’s GOOOO

summary: you and your wife have a heart-to-heart talk about your pasts. you decide to finally leave the mountains; leaving behind the memories of your past with them.

word count: 1,100 words / 5,790 characters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“come on, my love,” mizu whispered, lifting you up bridal style in her arms. she carries you to your bathhouse stripping down your blood soaked clothes and settling you in the bath.

she does the same with her own clothes, sliding in beside you. she rests your head on her shoulder, brushing her fingers through your now wet hair.

“mizu..?”

you pipe up, your voice quiet.

“yes?” she murmurs back, her hand still combing through your hair in an attempt to keep you calm.

“could I… open up to you, about something? like.. my.. childhood?” you turn your gaze fully on her, gazing up into the beautiful blue eyes.

“of course,” she presses a gentle kiss atop of your head.

“it’s always been such a weight on my chest. as if someone was always lying on my chest, suffocating me,” you take in a deep breath. “I was one of the oldest kids in the family; I have three older brothers and a younger brother and a younger sister.”

you breathe deeply. it’s obviously difficult for you to talk about; mizu can see that. she doesn’t want you to hurt. she rubs the back of your head as you begin to speak again.

“I always had to be perfect; I was the eldest girl, I was to be married off to a high-ranking man, blacken my teeth, and move my family up in the world,” you narrow your eyes. “and when I couldn’t be that; I was beat. the idea of perfection was literally beat into me.”

you chuckle a little; trying to lighten the mood, if only a little.

“my mom ran away when I was about sixteen. she escaped my father, thank fucking god,” you sigh. “my dad was always controlling and manipulative with us; but god, especially her. and I had to just… watch it happen. I couldn’t do anything or I’d be the subject of his anger.”

mizu is staring at you. her eyes are wide as the moon; and she looks terrified. yet she looks empathetic; like she understands you. It looks like she’s never understood you more.

“the only comfort I ever had were my older brothers. they taught me everything I know about medicine!” you smile, gazing at up at her. than your gaze downcasts, back to the water, “they went missing, not too long ago. I went back to try and find them. they were gone.”

she nods, slowly moving her hands about the steaming water. she looked to be… contemplating, something.

“yeah. yeah, I had a pretty shitty childhood, too,” she whispers. “I was always believed to be a monster. an onryō. which is pretty apparent.” she scoffs.

you place a hand comfortingly on her shoulder, squeezing it a little. you never thought of her as a monster; all you saw was your beautiful, strong wife.

“my mother never let me go outside; she cut off all my hair, and told me I always had to be a boy—that the bad men were looking for a girl—a girl,” she whispered her last two words. “she would hit me when I tried to go outside. I—just wanted to be like the other children.. but I never could be like them. I was a monster; a demon. I—still am.”

“no,” you narrow your eyes. “you are not a monster and you never were, mizu—“ you can feel yourself getting teary eyed, again, sniffling as you look up at your wife. “—you are my wife. the woman I love; I never saw a monster. and I don’t think I ever will.”

she rests her head against your shoulder, nodding as she closed her eyes in your warmth.

“I-I love you,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around your knees.

“I love you too, my love.”

the next morning you awoke, lying naked in bed with mizu wrapped around you. you were safe and warm in her arms; that much was true.

but the mountains—the mountains were not safe.

as you got up and got dressed, you moved about your house. the place you had lived since you had escaped your fathers grasp; the place that had brought you safety in such horrible times.

but you believed it had served its purpose.

It served as a cover when you were unsafe, when you were at your lowest.. but.. now—

the man who made you so unsafe in this world was dead.

there was no reason for you to hide anymore. you had love, you had light—it was all different now; and this house only held the bad memories of pain and hiding.

it was time you left.

once mizu had woken up, still groggy and half asleep, you brought the idea to her.

“are you sure?” she questioned, her eyes wide under those glasses. “I haven’t yet gotten the information on where I am going.”

“yes,” you were already packing up medicines and food to bring with you. “we can always nestle into a small town, and I could work for a shop for a little; if we need the rest. but I don’t believe it will take that long.”

you were smiling. you were… excited to leave the home you!d known for so long, weirdly.

she lent down and kissed your cheek, “if you're sure,” she nestled her hat onto her head.

“I’m sure, mizu,” you smile softly.

“than let’s get on with it,” she offers you her hand.

“I'd like to let the townspeople know first… is that okay? they’re gotten so used to me, and I’ve made so many friends, here..” your voice trails off.

“of course,” she takes you by the hand, and you make your way down the mountain.

once into the town, you stand atop of a fountain, with the help of mizu who’s holding your hand because she’s too scared you'll fall in.

“um, excuse me? everyone?”

your voice bellows through the small square; catching the townspeople’s attention. it wasn’t a big area; so they all knew you. and you knew all of them.

“I'd like to let you all know that I’ll be leaving the town,” gasps and murmurs surrounded you. “there’s no need to speculate why, it’s nothing scandalous. I simply need to do this; and I will be leaving with my husband,” you gesture to mizu beside you. “my apprentice will be running the shop from now on. I wish all of you well and good fortune for the rest of your time.”

you step off of the fountain, still clasping mizu's hand. you gaze up at her, smiling tenderly.

“ready?”

“ready.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a/n: that mizu gif she’s like fuck out my way taigen

#mizu x you #mizu x reader #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu #blue eyed samurai #ask #asked and answered #fic #new fic #fanfic #fanfiction #request #fic request

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perfect-bloodcovered-family · 1 year

Text

Event: Christmas gift, future sight.{Bad ending}

(TW: suicide(mention), abuse, insanity, bullying(mention), terrorism, children being married to other children at a young age(mention), teen pregnancy(mention), murder, quick mentions of rapists and attempted drugging. You have been warned)

You woke up in a giant garden. A lot of pretty but creepy flowers decorated the garden. You landed in front of shrines. There were 12 of them with some items that were placed in front of them on a fancy velvet black pillow.

Shimizu Nijiue: Died from drowning during her execution. She tried to be the perfect mastermind to please Team Danganropa and protect her little siblings. She had a bowl of crystal clear water with a Nymphaea Caerulea on the water, and a small wooden figure of an accurate Greek siren. Died at the age of 16.

Irofuka Nijiue: Died from being burned alive alongside his love, Yolei Aisei, during his execution. He died, leaving a baby girl behind. A Serial Killer disguised as a butler. Would have been a wonderful father if he lived past the age of 16. He had a black and red rose, a duster, and a bottle of deadly nightshade on the pillow.

Yolei Aisei: Died from being burned to death alongside her love, Irofuka Nijiue, during his execution. A spree killer who had been enslaved and raped at a young age after her parents’ death, soon took revenge on her former master and swore to kill all rapists and child abusers before she died. Would have been a wonderful mother if she had lived past the age of 16. There was a book called “A Thorough Investigation of Genocide Jack”, a black and red rose, and a crow plushie on her pillow.

Chitaki Nijiue: Died being ripped apart during her execution. Lost her mind from the abuse that was given to her by Team Danganronpa and fell for a man who just toyed with her emotions out of pure curiosity. Was a great doctor at the age of 13, a lovesick killer and mastermind who died at the age of 16. She had a bottle full of a drag she had made to speed up blood production, a needle, and a sage flower.

Kanto Nijiue: Beaten to death during his execution. Found out to be one of the masterminds and sent himself off to his execution, apologizing for putting them in a killing game against their will. He was an amazing brother and friend to many, even loved by the killing game participants who were supposed to hate him. He had coloured bandages, a bracelet with the words “Lil Bro'' on a boxing glove charm, and a gladious on the pillow

Iroryuko Nijiue: overdosed on 50 bottles of vitamins, committing suicide. Bullied at a young age due to his father’s past and actions. He committed suicide after his twin brother’s execution. There was a Gladiolus Flanaganii which is also called “Suicide Lily”, a pair of sunglasses that looks like Hajime Makunouchi’s sunglasses, and a bracelet with the words “Big Bro” on a boxing glove charm on the pillow.

Iroha Nijiue: Suicide, hanged herself to death. She was a wonderful sister, a wonderful mother, and a wonderful painter. She will be missed by so so many, and I am sorry, dear mother. I’m sorry for not saving you and for existing, please forgive me. The pillow had a purple hyacinth, a white Carnation, and an Okoden(a money offering) of 132,765,000.00 Japanese Yen(a million us dollars).

The rest were Iroha's older siblings and parents. It states that whoever made the shrines didn’t know the siblings but put money, their favourite food, and white lilies on their pillows. Iroha’s parents got only orange lilies, a message to the dead parents saying “Fuck you”, and a bloody dagger that might have been used to kill said, parents. It was clear that the meaning of the orange lilies in this situation aren’t positive.

You noticed the ground near a trash can with rotten food and dead flowers in it was wet. You looked around to see a 16-year-old girl sleeping in a bunch of flower beds of beautiful but creepy flowers. She had long, messy, orange hair; tired eyebags, Iroha’s fair skin tone, a Hope’s Peak Academy uniform jacket on her shoulders; a black dress that looks like a funeral dress and a ball gown at the same time, made from satin. She had a silver crown with a black veil covering her face, just enough for her face to be seen from up close, but covered when far away. She looks to be in distress, a nightmare instead of a dream. She kinda reminds you of Irohana Nijiue.

#Bad Ending⚰🍀

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wangxianficfinder · 7 months

Text

In the mood for...

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1. hi!! for the next itmf, it was always spoken in the novel, and sometimes in fics how jfm favoured wwx over his children. despite the fact that as readers we definitely see the contrary, are there fics where this is true? where jfm actually prefers wwx's company over his children, or even just jc?? no wwx bashing pls, i just found out it exists and i hated every word of that fic. thank you!! <3

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2. Itmf fics where wangxian are on a battlefield fighting in a war. I love the angst of being in love in a place with little hope. @gentil-minou

The Vermillion Ribbon by Unforth (E, 233k, wangxian, Wen WWX, politics, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, hurt WWX, hurt LWJ, whump, serious injury, off-screen torture, hurt/comfort, angst, marriage of convenience, abusive father figures, panic attacks, trauma, ptsd, dissociation, pining, suicidal thoughts, miscommunication, touch starved LWJ, light dom/sub, feels, family feels, brotherly feels, LQR is a dick, abusive lan sect, emotional hurt/comfort, healing, recovery, Happy Ending)

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3. Hi! I think this is an ask for the itmf but I’m not sure actually :/ anyways I’ve had exams for about the last two months so I couldn’t read any new fics and now that I’m finally free I don’t know where to start! Can you rec the best (completed, wangxian) fics you’ve read in the last months? Thanks luv :D

The Scarlet Lotus by rainbowninja167 (M, 137k, WangXian, Marriage of Convenience, Secret Identity, Fix-It, Angst with a Happy Ending, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Canon-Typical Violence, canon-typical war crimes, Yunmeng Bros, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Miscommunication)

Going on charmingly by scribbet (T, 21k, WangXian, Teenage LWJ, Cloud Recesses Shenanigans, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, WWX is BSSR's Disciple, Genius WWX, Petty LWJ, Meddling LXC, Canon Divergence, JFM Doesn't Adopt WWX, Technically pre-relationship, but in the typical Wangxian way of them being in deep but just not acknowledging it yet, POV LWJ)

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4. (This is my first time asking, so pwease pardon mistakes ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠`⁠ʔ)

I'm in a mood for a fic where the drama version of Wangxian(or either one of them) meet the cql version! Thanks in advance ❤️ @dizzydandelionsandhyperhydrillas

The Young, the Horny, the Jaded and the Jade: Partners in Time by Admiranda (M, 55k, WIP, WangXian, Established couple, Crossover, road trip with your older selves, teasing your younger selves about their obvious crushes, yin iron does yin iron things, mdzs/cql crossover, adult wangxian, Teenage Wangxian) i don't know quite if it fits (asker said drama version meet cql (did they mean audio drama?)), but a potential for #4: post-canon novel wangxian meet teenage cql wangxian (WIP, very cute)

#9 of this post might have some recs you would like

~*~

5. Hi, for the next in-the-mood-for, can I request fake!dating of the "I will be your intentionally annoying fake date to your family function / work do/ ex's wedding/etc" flavour. Many thank!

❤️ save a sword, ride a socialist by sysrae (E, 33k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, College/University, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Single Parent WWX, Homophobia, LQR’s A+ Parenting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Idiots to lovers)

Their Side of the Bargain by airinshaw (E, 21k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fake/Pretend Relationship, There Was Only One Bed, Getting Together, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Roommates, Minor ChengSang)

we don't need to talk about it by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 48k, WangXian, Modern AU, Fake Dating, the slimmest of premises, there was only one bedroom, There Was Only One Bed, kissing to prove you're dating, being idiots to prove you're dating, Pining while fucking, background NieLan)

The Mistletoe Virgin by Vamillepudding (G, 12k, WangXian, Modern AU, Romantic Comedy, Friends to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Deaf LWH, Christmas)

Veritas by trickybonmot (E, 19k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Modern: No Powers, Humor, Mutual Pining, There Was Only One Bed, Jins Being Jins, Wine Bro JZX, Good Sibling JC, light consensual non-consent, Surprise Fix-it Fic, Weddings, Wine, Hijinks & Shenanigans)

Gremlin Twitter Boyfriend (Twitter thread) by nyanxian Podfic + transcript (T, 5-6H - 38k, wangxian, modern, Social Media, Failboats In Love, Twitter Fic, Pining, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Matchmaking, Podfic, Multiple Voices, Sound Effects, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: Streaming, Warning: Jokes about Suicide)

~*~

6. has anyone found a fic where wwx tells jc to put him down if he becomes an actual threat to their family, and after it seems like jyl died, jc does mercy kill wwx as agreed?

~*~

7. ITMF request! I have a hankering for fic where the Jiang siblings turn against LWJ b/c they think he's broken WWX's heart. Would love it to be CR arc era, but modern AU is okay too. I really just want JYL to go off on LWJ, either freezing him out or giving him a piece of her mind. No Jiang bashing, tho'. @kimboo-york

the earthquake in the room by phnelt (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern: No Powers, Canada, Getting Together, Mentions of lwj/others, inter-faculty romance, strangers to lovers to frenemies to lovers, mostly book characterisation) Modern AU, JYL engages in a cold war with LXC because LWJ doesn't know how to communicate his feelings to WWX and keeps hurting him

could you find a way to let me down slowly, if you're leaving baby let me down slowly by ravenditefairylights (M, 36k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Golden Core Reveal, Implied/Referenced Sex, Miscommunication, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics, Hurt WWX, Mutual Pining, Unreliable Narrator, Self-Esteem Issues, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Feels, Protective Siblings, Trauma, Slightly dubious consent, courtesy of drunk sex, Inventor WWX, Genius WWX, Phoenix Mountain, Chronic Pain, Getting Together, Fix-It of Sorts, One Braincell Trio, PTSD) has both Jiang siblings angry with LWJ after he and WWX sleep together while drunk, only for LWJ to run out the next morning

~*~

8. Hi! Is there any fic where wwx and lwj really had their own garden? left the cultivation world (or maybe not) but they have a simple life

call me home and I'll build you a throne by ana_cp (E, 51k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Post-CQL, Canon Compliant, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Gūsū Lán Juniors Dynamics, Touch-Starved Non-Sexual Intimacy, ... and then Sexual Intimacy, Nightmares, Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Fluff, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Farmer WWX, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Mutual Pining, Communication, Quietly Falling Into a Married Life, Light Angst, (because they don't think they deserve each other), Wholesome, POV LWJ, POV WWX, LWJ in braids agenda, Sharing a Bed, WWX's Birthday, Semi-Public Sex, Inventor WWX, Jealous WWX)

~*~

9. Hey for the next itmf post can you rec some post canon protective LWJ

Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark (M, 11k, WangXian, Protective LWJ, Genius WWX, Post-Canon, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Soft WangXian, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, a very very small amount of smut, also a possessed squirrel, [Podfic] Nice work if you can get it by deliciousblizzardshark)

~*~

10. itmf nmj refusing to swear brotherhood to jgy? could still do that with lxc and/or someone else! i would love to see the ramifications of that 💙

~*~

11. In the mood for… I want to know if you all can share stories were A-Yuan is at Koi Tower when he's a child. Specially with Wei Wuxian. Fix its, time travel, second chance, anything where A-Yuan and Wangxian are happy at the end. Specially if the Wens are all alive and also having a chance for happiness!! Thank you!! Be well, Monica @monicaop21

To Mourn the Young Man by Iamnotawriter (T, 56k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, BAMF WWX, Most people live, but not the bad guys, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal)

changing the path by aurora_chiroptera (G, 2k, LSZ & WWX, WWX & JC, Canon Divergence, POV WWX, wn jzx and jl all appear briefly as well!)

~*~

12. any fics like three changes by orange crushed? something where they’re good friends before they get together? and/or ones that are kind of like a romantic comedies? @willesnelson

undone (the spreadsheet song) series by spookykingdomstarlight (E, 282k, wangxian, modern, Artists, Communication failure, Mutual Pining, mutual obliviousness, Demisexual WWX, Eventual Smut, Gossip, Getting Together, Mentions of Past Lan Wangji/OMCs, Crack Treated Seriously, Friends to Friends With Benefits to Lovers, LWJ's horniness for WWX accidentally turns him into a sex god with everyone except WWX (sorry WWX), POV WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending)

only bought this dress so you could take it off by mirrorofprinces (E, 13k, WangXian, Modern AU, Roommates/Housemates, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Pining, Crossdressing, well wwx wears slutty fashionnova outfits a lot, and lwj thinks about it a normal amount, Brief Misunderstandings, mentions of lwj/others, Bisexual WWX, Idiots in Love, Getting Together, let wwx be tan, let wwx have wavy hair, background NieLan, background sangcheng if you squint)

living in my memory/living in my mouth by tardigradeschool (T, 32k, WangXian, Modern AU, Reincarnation, Canon Divergence, College/University, Modern with Magic, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Sharing a Bed, Nightmares, Light Angst, Epistolary, (sort of), POV Alternating, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers)

r/relationships by vespertineflora (T, 8k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Viral Reddit Post, Pining, Crushes, Friends to Lovers, Awkward Flirting, Romantic Gestures, Romantic Comedy, Love Confessions, Kissing, Happy Ending, r/relationships [podfic] by someplacelikebolivia)

🧡 Baby, You're the End of June by panicking (T, 24k, WangXian, Recreational Soccer, Modern AU, Single parent WWX, Fluff, Slow Burn, Mutual pining)

Lans Never Kiss and Tell by FeelsForBreakfast (E, 30k, WangXian, Modern AU, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Humor, lwj FUCKS, Mutual Pining, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, modern diaspora au)

our own kind of magic. by scarletwanlian (T, 18k, WangXian, Modern AU, 5+1 Things, Fluff, Humor, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Magic, Magical Realism, College/University, Slice of Life!, Witch!WWX, Banter)

live from new york by varnes (E, 87k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, This is a SNL AU, however the juniors are featured and there are lots of shenanigans!, slow burn, friends to lovers, pining, getting together, happy ending)

~*~

13. ITMF: I know I had a fic in my bookmarks that involved the Cold Spring Cave refusing to let Wei Wuxian leave if he and Lan Wangji didn’t consummate the handfasting. I can’t find it, though, so I’m looking for fics like that with a fuck or die sort of feel. Found it lol, but would love other suggestions (In the Cold Dark by mondengel) @rosethornewrites

~*~

14. Hello there! I've read a lot of fics where WangJi gets cursed with a truth spell or similar and he has to, like, speak his mind and can't shut up. But!!! I haven't read any with a cursed Wei WuXian! And I think it would be hilarious! He tends to minimize his worries and his pains and always jokes around everything, but what would happen if he had to be SINCERE?! Do you have fics like this to recommend??? @randomsuggestedname

i'm a drop in your ocean by starknjarvis (T, 11k, WangXian, truth curse, Post-Canon, so much dialogue, drama characterizations, Get Together, Truth Spells, Love Confessions) and Silence Like a Cancer Grows by julomaiboulomai (M, 12k, Yunmeng Siblings, LXC & WWX, truth curse, Suicidal Thoughts, Canon Divergence, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Dissociation, WWX Needs a Hug, Golden Core Reveal, LXC did not sign up for this, Hopeful Ending) both have WWX cursed to tell the truth.

~*~

15. Hi! I recently read an MDZS/Harry Potter Crossover where WWX & LWJ went to Hogwarts to help with something and now I just crave more MDZS crossovers where MDZS characters interact with other stories and are BAMFs, do any of you have any recommendations? (PS, It doesn't have to be Harry Potter, it can be any other story, I've read an MLB one I liked as well, so.) @i-like-snakes-and-spiders

Darkness shrouded in light by MomImBusy (T, 68k, wangxian, erasermic, crossover, BNHA, Canon Divergence, Mineta Minoru Doesn't Exist, WWX is a Little Shit, WWX is here to fuck some shit up, mentions of abuse, Courtesy of the entire mdzs cast, Parental Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Parental Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Angst,bBAMF WWX, Necromancy in a quirk world, WIP)

Diplomatic Incidents by Ariaste (M, 35k, WangXian, IB/DP, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Getting Together, Linguistics, Translation Spells, canon-typical borderline alcoholism, Fluff, a touch of angst for spice, being in love but not admitting you want to sleep together, Versus, sleeping together but not admitting you're in love, Post-Canon, post-canon for MDZS anyway, during-canon for DAI)

Come by it Honestly by ladyshadowdrake (M, 25k, Geraskier, WangXian, The Witcher Crossover, Crossover, Adventure)

Wei Wuxian Makes a Wish series by natcat5 (M, 119k, wangxian, major character death, underage, madoka magica au, modern w/ magic, time travel, high school au, body horror, self-harm, angst w/ bittersweet ending, time loop, mental instability, suicidal thoughts)

The Hanging Tree series by chatonnerie (T, 41k, wangxian, hunger games au, minor character death, violence, blood, limb loss, sickness, recovery, torture)

Wei Wuxian is the Actual Bogeyman (no, really) by chatonnerie (T, 57k, WangXian, Rise of the Guardians AU, Crack, not gonna lie, i mean they literally call wwx the bogeyman my poor brain could not resist, TW:Death, I mean, Jack Frost cannonically dies)

Castle in the Wastes by ailuridae (abigailnicole) (T, 41k, wangxian, Howl’s Moving Castle fusion, personified Chenqing, canon typical violence)

The Altogether Ooky WangXian Family by FluffyHippogriff (T, 57k, WIP, WangXian, 3Zun, Modern AU, Addams Family AU, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, mostly because death can be overcome with the help of a little necromancy, Kid Fic, Comedy)

Grandmaster of the Magical Arts series by HollowNightmare (T, 305k, WangXian, Hogwarts, Harry Potter Setting, Chinese Hogwarts?, Slice of Life, Developing Friendships, POV Alternating, lwj is an anxious bean, Light Angst, Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

16. Hello! I wanted to ask if you know any WWX appreciative/wwx protection squad type of fics? I've check the wwx centric tag, everyone loves wwx tag and even the wwx protection squad tag itself but I'm having a hard time finding fics where other characters are protective over wwx (preferably at least 2 people

the thread may stretch or tangle but it will never break by RoseThorne (E, 88k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Self-Esteem Issues, Fix-It, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, PTSD, Handfasting, Panic Attacks, Getting Together, First Time, Aftercare, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Torture, Scars, Chronic Pain, Golden Core Reveal, First Time, Switching, sex-related injury, LWJ Stays at the Burial Mounds, LSZ is a Wèi, Good Sibling JC, Dissociation, Burial Mounds Settlement Days)

🧡 rain falls and soaks into the earth series by RoseThorne (T, 53k, WangXian, WIP, Near Death Experience, Attempt Drowning, Madam Yu Bashing, Recovery, No war AU)

~*~

17. Hi! I just read the amazing fic "Say my name and his in the same breath" that was linked over on WangxianFicRecs, and it reminded me of one of my favorite things to read, which is LWJ harming WWX — intentionally or unintentionally — and being very, very guilty about it. Do you have suggestions for fics with that element? Thanks!

💙 Wish I could forget the taste of your skin and the feel of your hands pinning me down by KizuKatana (E, 63k, wangxian, WQ & WWX & WN, modern w/ cultivation, getting back together, BAMF WWX, BAMF LWJ, case fic, pining)

🧡 Life as a House by Terri Botta (Isilwath) (T, 55k, WangXian, Modern AU, Post-Divorce, Father-Son Relationship, Reconciliation, Therapy, Angst with a happy ending)

Honesty is the Best Policy (Except if You’re an Asshole) by piecrust (E, 22k, WangXian, Porn with Feelings, College/University)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

#wangxian #wangxianficfinder #mdzs #the untamed #long post #i'm in the mood for a fic #wangxian fic recs #wangxian fic search

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meropegaaunt · 1 year

Text

EVENTUALLY

Billy Dunne x reader

Implied eventual Graham Dunne x reader

Can be read as a stand-alone or as a sequel to West Coast

Summary: You grow apart from your childhood best friend, Billy.

Warnings: Angst, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, a non-detailed mention of childbirth, implied cheating, and attempted kissing

Word Count: 4,940 words

Author’s Note: If anyone would be interested in a third part of this fic, please let me know in the comments!

BILLY DUNNE (lead singer, The Six): I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but at one point or another, things between Y/N and I changed. They started to pull away, to keep me at arm’s length, and that . . . that hurt more than I can put into words. For twelve years, we had been inseparable, then boom. Just like that, we were separated.

Don’t get me wrong. I was happy with Camila, happier than I had been in ages, but can one truly find joy without their best friend? No, I don’t think they can.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Billy and Camila getting together served as a wake-up call. At some point in 1969, you had unknowingly developed feelings for him, had let him into your heart, but now that he was off the market, you felt the need to take a step back, to figure out who you were without your best friend. So you stopped going over to the Dunne household every day, instead opting to spend time with your father or your other friends. As expected, Billy took note of your absence, but when he pushed you for an explanation, you assured him all was well. The year before, he would have immediately noticed that your voice had cracked when offering assurance, revealing your words to be false. Now, though, he was distracted, his mind so wrapped up in other things that he did not notice. (Or so you thought . . .)

Despite the wide berth you were giving Billy, you still saw him at band practice. As per usual, the two of you played side by side, giving your all to the music, and while your musical talents continued to grow, something was off. A tension could be heard, one that neither of you were willing to acknowledge even after Chuck left . . .

His departure was completely unexpected, blindsiding not only you but the rest of the band, because he had been quiet in his discontent, not telling anyone he was going to leave until there was no other choice. He had to, because you had all rode up his stone-paved driveway in Warren’s rickety, beat-up van, expecting to practice, only to realize that the door to Chuck’s garage, your designated practice space, was closed.

“Ah, there he is,” Eddie breathed, kicking open the back door of the van, a half-smoked cigarette hanging from his lips. Out of the back spilled you, him, and Graham, your features all a mask of confusion.

“Hey, Chuck,” you greeted, offering him a wide, sunny smile. The kind that could calm even the most nerve-addled man, because he looked to be in need of assurance. “We‘ve been calling all morning. What’s up?”

There was no time for him to answer, though, before Warren and Billy emerged from the front of the van, the former suspiciously eyeing the closed garage door. “Why’s the garage door closed?”

A beat of tense silence trickled by, depriving the space around you of oxygen, then, “Look, I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just gonna say it. I got into college.”

Warren glanced at you, unable to suppress the soft, surprised chuckle that escaped his mouth. “Huh, all right.”

Your own mouth curved downward in response, showing that you had mixed emotions about the whole ordeal. On one hand, this was good news. Chuck had always been smart, the type that could go far with his brain so long as he applied himself. You could, too, but scholarly pursuits had never appealed to you, not the way music had. Four more years in a classroom personally sounded like torture to you, but if that was what Chuck wanted, then so be it. On the other hand, though, him going to college meant the band would be down both a bassist and a practice space.

“Bro, we didn’t even know you applied,” Graham pointed out, sparing a glance at the rest of the band. No one had a clue about Chuck applying to college until this very moment, because he had stayed silent, closed-lipped.

“Was this, like, before or after I spent all my money on this van?” Warren asked, his surprise bordering the line of disbelief.

“I know. I’m sorry, it’s just . . . they have a really good dental program.”

That was shocking, so much so that it was now your turn for disbelief. “You’re gonna be a dentist?”

“I don’t know. I guess so.”

“Chuck, come on,” Billy huffed, stepping closer to him in an effort to get through to him, to sway his decision. “Please don’t do this. All right? Not now. Not when things are just starting to happen.”

Chuck had thought long and hard about his decision, which was why he stayed firm, hard as stone. “What do you mean, ‘just starting to happen’?”

“Dude, we open for the Winters on Thursday, and that’s just the beginning.”

“This is a real opportunity.”

“So is this.”

“Billy,” Chuck released a deep, exasperated sigh, one that showed just how much he had thought this over. He would not be swayed, even when his closest friends begged him to. “I know this is your dream, man, but just because you want something to happen doesn’t mean it’s going to. Do you really think that there’s a future here?”

“Well, yeah. Chuck, I do.”

“You’re out of your fucking mind.”

With that, Chuck left, leaving a large, bassist-sized hole in the band. It came as a harsh, cutting surprise, but even so, you called after him, “Good luck.”

Your words, though light, did nothing to dispel the tension that had fallen over the group. Eddie seemed to be feeling it most of all, as shown by how he pulled the cigarette from his mouth, turning it over and over in his hands. “We gotta cancel the gig.”

“No, man,” Billy shook his head, refusing to be put out by this one setback. He would not be stymied, not when the band had just gotten started on its rise to greatness. “We’re not canceling.”

“Yeah? What’re we gonna do? We don’t have a bassist, Billy—“

“We’re not canceling,” he repeated, remaining firm, unyielding. Emerald eyes slowly strayed to Eddie, clearing with comprehension, then, “Eddie, you switch over to bass.”

“No.”

You could not help but roll your eyes at the suggestion, because even though Eddie was a team player, there was no way he would switch over without kicking up a storm. He would no doubt complain, spending precious time complaining rather than practicing. That was why you straightened your spine, volunteering, “I’ll do it.”

“Thanks, Y/N. We owe you one.” A pleased grin slid onto Billy’s face, replacing the discontent that had been there moments before. He placed a hand on your shoulder, pressing his gratefulness into your skin in a manner that could have been taken as friendly . . . if only his hand had not lingered a moment longer than it should have.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

GRAHAM DUNNE (lead guitar, the Six): (Smiles) Y/N ended up becoming a better bassist than Chuck, anyway.

─── ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ───

ROD REYES (tour manager): Oh, yeah. I remember the night the Dunne Brothers opened for the Winters, specifically Billy Dunne and Y/N L/N. One look, and I could tell they were rock stars. He was cocksure, knew who to play in the crowd. They had this air about them, the kind that entranced the crowd, really brought out their emotions.

There’s just a quality that some people have. If you took nine guys, plus Mick Jagger, and you put them in a lineup, someone who had never heard of the Rolling Stones before could still point to Jagger and say, “That’s the rock star.” Billy and Y/N had that. And the bad had good sound.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Obviously, you got to write your own material,” the famed manager, Rod Reyes, declared, the distinct smells of smoke and sex emanating from him, filling the air. The smell was so strong and potent that it filled your nostrils from your spot beside Graham, burning your throat, but you were happy, too optimistic to mind the burn.

“Well, I-I mean, I do. We do,” Billy replied, his emerald eyes flitting briefly from Rod’s to yours, because the two of you had written the band’s songs together. A multitude of hours had trickled by in which you two had tried to piece together worthwhile ballads, throwing paint at a theoretical wall and seeing what stuck. The first drafts of the songs had been horrid, lacking any harmony or smoothness, but with much shaping, they had been turned into songs that could go a long way. Key word: could. “Most of it’s not good enough yet.”

“What are you writing about?”

“I have this one song called ‘Nevermore’ about the Catonsville Nine.”

“No. Oh! Are you Bob Dylan? Are you Buffy Sainte-Marie? Enough with the political shit. It’s a new decade. No one needs reminding that the world is a mess. People want to feel good again. They want to feel hope. You can write a love song, can’t you?” Rod demanded, a sour look crossing his face at the thought of ‘Nevermore.’ The song had not been bad, sounding pleasant to the ear, but he did not need to hear it to know that it would not go over well with the masses. He turned to Graham, then, “You need to cool it with the solos, brother. Nobody cares about your technical guitar skills. They want to sing. They want to dance. Look, the last thing I’ll say, and this is key, you need to get the fuck out of Pittsburgh. You want to be signed to a label, you want to work with Jimmy Miller, Tom Dowd, Teddy Price—“

The mention of Teddy Price caused a great, perceptible shift in the air. You immediately sat upright, a curious glint working its way into your eyes. “Wait, you know Teddy Price?”

“Yeah, I know everybody, and they’re all in L.A. now. Not London, not New York. California, my friends. That is the place you got to be.”

His words resonated deeply with you three, specifically the brothers, which was why the prospect of going to L.A. was promptly proposed to the rest of the band. As expected, they agreed, and the six of you and Camila set off, riding off in Warren’s van, Lady Peaches, toward your futures.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Y/N L/N (singer, The Six): I knew the chances of making it big were slim, but I also knew that if I didn’t at least try, I would never forgive myself. The boys wouldn’t either. So I packed up my things and bid Dad farewell. He was sad to see me go, but just as happy that I was going after my dreams.

He didn’t tell me he was sick . . . Probably because he knew I’d have stayed behind to take care of him.

─── ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ───

The City of Angels welcomed you and the Dunne Brothers with open arms, taking you in as one of its own. You got into contact with Rod, hoping that he would set you up with the big guys, specifically Teddy Price, but all he had to offer was a gig at a dank, seedy bar named Filthy McNastys. Its attendants were sketchy, having all sorts of sins to their name, but given that the bar was on the Strip, the band gladly pushed through, giving their all to each and every performance.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Y/N: The months we spent at McNastys were slow. At first, barely anyone came to see us, but the more shows we played, the more attention we got. People started coming in just to see us, which was fantastic, but there was a problem: we were barely getting paid.

I ended up getting a job as a waiter at this cute little coffee house to help make ends meet, but no matter what we did, it just didn’t seem like it’d be enough.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

“What happened with that producer you went up to?” Eddie asked as you slid into the booth aside him, donning your work uniform. Working at a coffee house was not exactly what you had envisioned yourself doing when you had set off for L.A., but hey, sacrifices had to be made if the group was to stay. “The one with the parrot?”

“Parrot guy passed on us,” Camila answered, having fashioned herself the band’s manager. You thought she was doing a great job, given that she had never done such a thing before. Others did not think as such, though, as shown by Eddie’s next comment.

“Wow. That is bleak.”

“Might want to save half that toast for tomorrow, Eddie,” she retorted, eyeing his toast with an expression of deadly seriousness. Atop the table lay a mound of cash, which was all of the money that the band had amassed since the start of the month. “This is barely enough to cover the rent.”

“Fuck,” Eddie cursed, breathing out a deep sigh. Half his toast was promptly placed in his shirt pocket, being tucked away to be eaten tomorrow.

“Fuck,” you echoed, resting your head atop his shoulder, the move a sign of just how deeply tiredness had settled upon your bones, weighing you down. “I’ll be working another double this weekend, I s’pose.”

Eddie opened his arms in response, letting you lean more closely against him. You did so happily, soaking in his warmth. The action, though gentle, was purely friendly, yet still, unbeknownst to you, two sets of eyes looked upon said action disapprovingly. Both Billy and Graham, despite not wanting to admit it, were jealous, because there you were, snuggling up against another man.

Their jealousy went unnoticed, but your exhaustion did not, as shown by the concern that made its way across Warren’s face. “Fuck it. Maybe old Chuckie was right, huh? Maybe this was all just a big mistake and we should have just stayed at home with our parents, saved money on rent, and become dentists.”

“I mean, I’ve sent out hundreds of photographs. Not a single fucking paper has responded. Should I just quit? No one said it was gonna be easy.”

Camila’s disheartened words drew your attention, causing your head to snap up toward hers. “No, don’t quit. All it takes is one person to make a difference,” you replied, flashing her a weak but warm smile, because even though you had distanced yourself from Billy, you had welcomed her into the group as kindly as you had the new keyboardist, Karen Sirko.

“Also, while we’re talking about stuff, how come I’m the only one without a bed in the house?” Warren deadpanned, heavily yearning for a good night’s sleep in a proper bed. He had been squatting on the couch, after all, and it could be felt in the aches of his back. No twenty year old should feel like they had the back of an old, decrepit man . . .

“Well, you could’ve taken Karen’s room,” Billy pointed out, finally breaking out of his jealous haze.

“No, I couldn’t have. That room is haunted.”

“It’s not haunted.”

“Everybody knows it’s haunted.”

“Oh, come on, Rojas. You don’t want to get all up close and personal with a ghost?” you teased, reaching across Eddie to jostle his arm. Of course, Warren jostled you back, the two of you nearly displacing Eddie’s toast, which he did not like. Not at all.

“Hey, stop! You almost made me drop my pocket toast—“

Sensing that the three of you were on the brink of causing chaos, Karen broke her silence, asking a question that had been bothering her for a long time, “Why are we still called The Dunne Brothers? I mean, four of us aren’t Dunnes, and the last time I checked, I’m nobody’s brother.”

“So you want to change our name?” Billy asked, not even wanting to consider the idea. Truth be told, you had been opposed to the name at the nascence of the band, but given that two of the three original members were Dunnes, your opinion had been the minority.

“I personally think that’s a great idea,” Eddie admitted, earning a sharp, accusatory look from Billy. Said look was sharp enough to cut skin, but he did not wilt, instead adding, “I’m just saying what everybody’s thinking.”

“Well, the name is the name, so . . . That’s how people know us.”

“Yeah, but it’s not exactly doing much for us, though.”

“How about Immaculate Reception?” Warren interjected, causing your nose to crinkle disapprovingly.

“God, no. That’s horrid.”

“We’re not changing the name,” Billy insisted, looking to his brother for help. Graham offered none, though, for he was open to changing the name.

“I mean, listen, if we’re throwing stuff out there, Hercules is still on the table.”

“No! No way!”

“Deliverance, Espionage, Poison.”

“How about Aurora—“

“The six of us will never agree on a name,” Billy cut you off, only liking a single one of the names that had been thrown out. “All right? So let’s just . . .”

His words caused a lightbulb to go off in Karen’s head, as shown by how brightly she grinned, realization donning on her features. “What about The Six?”

“I like The Six.”

“Sure as hell better than Hercules.”

“Y/N?” Graham looked at you, an expectant, questioning look flitting across his face. He had been looking at you more and more as of late with that look, one you could not quite make sense of. “What do you think?”

You opened your mouth to answer, to offer your view of the name, only for the words to die on your tongue when your boss, Dave, yelled out, “Y/N, break’s over. Back on the floor!”

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Y/N: I put in crazy hours at the coffee house, working to the point of exhaustion, but one of my coworkers there, this bright, fiery girl named Daisy Jones, turned what was one of the darkest times of my life into one of the brightest. One day, after working a double together, she pulled me along to watch her and her friend, Simone, perform at the Troubadour.

I thought that was all it was, that I was just going to support them, but then, after Daisy performed, she got this crazy glint in her eye. The kind where you know she’s up to something. She set down her guitar and said, “Now, I’d like to bring a friend of mine up on stage. Come on up and wow us, Y/N L/N.”

I was shocked, to say the least, but Daisy Jones isn’t the type of person you deny, especially in a room with that many people. So I got up on that stage, took Daisy’s guitar, and sang a piece I had been writing on my own called “Equilibrium.” It was about trying to find a balance between who I was with Billy versus without him.

Looking back, it was sad just how deeply intertwined I was with him, even when there was more space between us than ever. At the time, though, I didn’t realize the song was about him.

Hell, I didn’t even realize Teddy Price was in the audience that night. In my defense, though, my obliviousness might’ve been from all the mescaline I was taking at the time . . .

ੈ✩‧₊˚

After your performance, you returned the guitar to Daisy and hopped off the stage, your cheeks bathed in perspiration from exertion. As soon as your feet made contact with the earth, you were off, making a beeline for the star of the night, Simone.

A golden grin immediately slid onto your mouth, showing how happy you were for her in that moment. “Simone, you did great out there.”

“Hey,” she returned the smile, inclining her head to the man she had been chatting with before you had approached. “Y/N L/N, Teddy Price. You two should talk.”

Oh, my God, you thought when his name trickled your ears. It was all you could think, because there was one of the legends of the music industry, handing you his card. Feeling as though you were floating outside of your body, you reached out to take the card into your hands, hoping that he did not notice the slight tremble of your fingers.

“You interested, kid? We could work on some music together.”

“Oh, um, I appreciate it, but I’m not a solo act,” you informed, because at the time, you had only ever performed by yourself on a handful of occasions. They had been fine, perhaps even good, but not as great as when you performed with the band. “I’m in a band, The Six. Any chance you’d be interested in giving us a chance? Just let us play one song for you, that’s all I ask.”

He looked upon you, studying you keenly. A beat passed, then he nodded, agreeing to give The Six a chance. “Okay, kid. I’ll give you a chance. Are you ready?”

“Undoubtedly, yes.”

ੈ✩‧₊˚

BILLY: People think we played one song for Teddy Price and he gave us a record deal. Not true. After that first meeting, he put us through the wringer for months, but it was worth it.

Everything had gone so slowly, and then suddenly it was all happening so fast. We recorded our album in six days, had two weeks off, then it was time to hit the road.

─── ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ───

BILLY: The night before we were set to leave, Camila told me she was seven weeks pregnant, and I . . . I decided we needed to get married right away. We had been planning to have a wedding sometime after the tour but I decided we needed to do it right then. I don’t know why that mattered to me, but the moment I knew she was pregnant I felt like we had to make sure we were a proper family.

CAMILA DUNNE (wife of Billy Dunne): Karen knew an ordained minister. She got his number from a friend of hers and we called him late that night. He came right over.

EDDIE ROUNDTREE (rhythm guitarist, The Six): It was four in the morning.

CAMILA: Karen decorated the porch out back, and Y/N picked some roses from the bushes surrounding the house. They made me this beautiful flower crown and did my hair; it made me feel like a proper bride.

─── ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ───

INTERVIEWER: What do you remember about the tour?

Y/N: More than I’d like to.

GRAHAM: . . .

WARREN ROJAS (drummer, The Six): . . .

KAREN SIRKO (keyboardist, The Six): . . .

BILLY: I, uh . . . It was a long time ago, I don’t remember much.

CAMILA: I remember everything.

GRAHAM: Pretty quickly, we found a rhythm: get to town, sound check, play, party, get on the bus. And the better we started playing, the more we partied. Hotels, girls, drugs. Over and over. Hotels, drugs, girls. For all of us, but especially Billy.

WARREN: Let me sum it up for you: I was getting laid, Graham was getting high, Eddie was getting drunk, Karen and Y/N were getting fed up, and Billy was all four, at once.

Y/N: Billy changed on that first tour. Cracked under the pressure, I think. He turned into a person I didn’t recognize and didn’t like.

And even though I didn’t like him, I still loved him.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

After the wedding, something within Billy had changed, had shifted. He became hard, closed off. You and Graham, two of the people closest to him, were kept at arm’s length, having no choice but to helplessly watch on as he ruined all that was good in his life. He got drunk, high, and angry, and when his anger mounted to an exceedingly high level, he expelled it by sleeping with a nameless woman, one he could use, then discard when he felt better.

Him spiraling hurt you more than you cared to admit, but you were not his family. Not his spouse nor his blood, so it was not your place to set him straight . . . or you thought as such until he tried to rope you into his debauchery.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Y/N: After the Ottawa show, I went back to my hotel room and started getting ready to go out for the night. I remember, I was just about to get started on my hair when there came a knock at the door. I opened it, expecting to see Graham, but it was Billy. He had been drinking tequila. I could smell it on his breath, and the look in his eye . . . I had never seen him that down, and it made me sad.

I didn’t know what to say, but I let him in. He went and sat down on the bed, and knowing I’d need a drink to get through whatever was to come, I poured myself a glass of whiskey. It was awful, but did its job. I downed the whole thing, then poured two more. One for me, and one for Billy.

BILLY: I honestly don’t know what got into me that night. I just needed to see Y/N, to hold them.

Y/N: He asked me to hold him, so I did. We sat there for a while, not talking, moving, or doing anything. Just holding each other . . . until he tried to kiss me. That pissed me off, because he knew how I felt about him. He had known when he married Camila, yet still, he had married her. Had chosen her.

I jumped up and yelled, “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Billy? I mean, honestly, is this the kind of person you want to be?”

And he said, “The booze, the drugs, the girls . . . I’ve been doing them all to try to get you out of my system—“

I slapped him. Hard.

BILLY: Y/N slapped me, and I just kind of sat there, reeling. They looked like they wanted to apologize, but before they could, Graham walked in. You could just tell by the look on his face that he had overheard the whole thing.

GRAHAM: I only heard a tiny bit, but it wasn’t hard to piece together what was happening. It also wasn’t hard to piece together that Y/N wasn’t willing to entertain Billy’s advances, so I pushed him out of the room and into the parking lot. Outside, he paced back and forth and muttered to himself, looking a little crazy. He said, “I fucked it all up. I fucked it all up.”

Deep down, I’d known it was coming, because he loved Y/N the same way I did. So all I could say was, “Just don’t do it again, man. Just don’t do it again.”

ROD: Billy started going at it double time after Ottawa. The coke and girls and booze and all that.

GRAHAM: Camila decided to surprise Billy a few weeks after that. She drove up, five months pregnant, and found him in a . . . compromising position.

EDDIE: She walked in on him getting, well . . . I don’t know how else to say it . . . oral sex, I guess I should say. From a groupie.

Y/N: Camila blew up on Billy. Like, slapped right across the face. Hit him with her bag, too, if memory serves. She asked me to watch him, to make sure he didn’t sink deeper into himself.

And she said, “When he wakes up, give him this letter.” The letter had an ultimatum; he had to get clean before the baby came.

KAREN: He didn’t stop messing around with all of it.

EDDIE: We were all sort of counting down the days. You know, sixty days until Billy has to get clean. Then it was forty days. Then, when it got down to ten days, he was forgetting the words onstage, and I thought he was never gonna clean up.

Y/N: On November 28th, we were in Hartford for a show when one of the stage managers called me offstage. Said there was a call for me. I picked it up, and it was Teddy. “You gotta get Billy home,” he said, because Camila had gone into labor.

BILLY: Y/N took me by the arm and held onto me until we got onto the plane. Then, we landed and they dragged me into this beat-up rental car and drove me to the hospital.

ੈ✩‧₊˚

The rickety old rental car sped into the hospital parking lot, going way faster than the legal speed in an effort to get Billy to his girls as fast as possible. When the car rolled to a stop, though, he did not immediately jump to get out. Confusion overtook your features, prompting you to say, “Well? Go see your girls.”

“I can’t,” he whispered, his voice sad, broken down. Never before had you seen him so shattered.

“You can.”

“I can’t.”

“Billy.”

“Y/N. I can’t have her meet me like this.”

An emotion akin to the anger you had felt back in Ottawa arose beneath your skin, causing you to tighten your hold on the steering wheel, your knuckles flashing white with force. “Okay, then,” you said, eerily calm. “I’m going to be there for Camila and to meet that baby girl, with or without you, Billy. But if I go by myself, you’re going to get help when I come back out. Real help.”

ੈ✩‧₊˚

Y/N: That night, sitting by Camila’s bedside was when I let go of the possibility of Billy. He had a wife and a baby, and if he was going to mess that up, I wasn’t going to play a part in it.

#daisy jones and the six #djats #billy dunne #camila alvarez #camila martinez #camila morrone #camila dunne #graham dunne #daisyjones #karen sirko #simone jackson #eddie roundtree #rod reyes #teddy price #billydunnexreader #warren rhodes #warren rojas

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