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gureumz · 9 months

Text

liar, sweetheart

rating: explicit

member: sunghoon

premise: your best friend, benj, is a twin but he's the complete opposite of his brother. his brother, sunghoon, is all kinds of sleazy, or so you've heard. knowing about your big fat crush on your best friend, this sorry excuse of a twin brother agrees to put in a good word, in exchange for a good fuck, of course.

notes: fem!reader, dom!sunghoon, sort of rivals-to-lovers, unprotected sex, slight breeding, dacryphilia, dirty talk, degradation, praise, clothed sex, accidental voyeurism, sunghoon is two people here lmao, lmk if i missed anything!

a/n: fifth entry for my 1k follower special! we're in the endgame now, people. one last after this and my 1k event is ending. how did that happen :') anyways, i really got back into my writing groove for this one so i hope you all enjoy!

"what do you think of sunghoon?"

your ears perk up as you turn your head to give your best friend a look.

oh, benj. sweet, sweet benjamin park.

awkward but in a cute, boyish sort of way, tall almost to the point of gangly, but handsome in the way supermodels were.

benj is a figure skater, a very good one at that. he's at the level where if he did well enough, he'd be international news tomorrow. you've seen him skate and to you, it was nothing short of mesmerizing.

oh, you. clueless, utterly clueless you.

honestly, it was all so predictable.

a situation right out of booktok's latest favorite friends-to-lovers novel by some up-and-coming author. the comfortable silence, the memorized starbucks orders, the pining, oh, the pining. booktok lives for the pining.

sitting here in benj's room as he casually games, fingers lazily moving over his ps5 controller, you realize just how utterly shortsighted you were.

of course you'd fall in love with your best friend. it's law. it's fate. a canon event, as the kids say.

but, you're getting out of topic here. right now, benj is asking you about his twin brother.

"what do you mean?" you ask, swiveling around in the office chair by benj's desk. benj is perched on his bed, leaned up against his headboard as he plays.

"like...what do you think of him...?" benj repeats, as if in an attempt to rephrase his question but ultimately failing.

your forehead creases even more.

"you have to be more specific than that," you chuckle.

benj pauses the game, setting the controller down. he shifts on his side so he can get a better look at you.

"do you like him?" benj deadpans, raising an eyebrow.

you nearly choke on your own saliva.

sunghoon. benj's twin brother.

the younger twin, as benj always reminded. your thoughts drift to the other park brother, complete in all his dark clothes and equally dark hair.

while benj afforded himself the preference of dying his hair an icy blonde, sunghoon kept his own hair jet black. benj wore sweaters and cardigans and loose-fitting shirts, but sunghoon wore button-ups, with the first three buttons popped open, paired with jeans ripped to the heavens.

benj is the shining star in this family, a star figure skater, an overachiever. sunghoon battles his way around ice hockey, dabbles in dance, keeps his triumphs to himself.

benj is the sun, while sunghoon is the moon. yin and yang.

you get the picture.

oh, and sunghoon is a complete asshole. benj is not.

"he's okay," you finally answer. benj looks at you like he's waiting for more.

"that's it?" benj asks after a second.

you roll your eyes. "i don't know what you want me to say. i barely talk to him since i spend most of my time with you."

benj cocks his head to the side, as if curious.

"weird," he says. "he asks about you all the time."

this piques your interest.

"he does?"

benj shrugs, returning his attention to the tv. he picks the forgotten controller back up, resuming his game.

"yeah. asks if and when you'll be coming over," benj explains. he shoots you a quick side glance.

"you're not hooking up behind my back, are you?"

you physically recoil at benj's words, the idea initially repulsive to you.

"absolutely not," you practically spit out. "he's not my type."

benj bursts out laughing, his eyes forming cute crescents as he does so.

"you basically just called me ugly with that," benj points out, eyes unmoving from the tv screen.

you stutter for a second. "that's not what i meant. it's just—well we're not close, at least not like how we are and—"

you sigh, cutting yourself off. you've embarrassed yourself enough, you think.

benj shakes his head, one side of his mouth turning up in a half-smile.

"okay, no need to explain, ______. i was just asking," benj says. "but the way you're so defensive about it is raising a few questions, not gonna lie."

you rub exasperatedly at your temples.

"i am not sleeping with your brother."

---

"hey."

you nearly jump a foot back in surprise. looking up, you're met with the stern gaze of sunghoon, black hair falling over his eyes. he's wearing one of those compression shirts, ridiculously tight against his toned upper body.

you turn away before it gets weird.

"oh, sorry, is benj home?" you ask, peeking momentarily past sunghoon.

"he's at training," sunghoon informs. "didn't he tell you?"

you glance at your watch. "he said he'd be done by now."

sunghoon raises an eyebrow. "well, he's not."

your mouth falls open, your mind momentarily going blank. you shift your expression to one of stony resolve.

"you know what, i'll just come back. sorry to bother you," you say, already turning away.

"i didn't tell you to leave, did i?"

you turn back, giving sunghoon a look. you stare hard, noticing just how much he resembles benj. but some things differ, naturally.

an extra beauty mark. the slightly sharper upturn of his nose. the seemingly eternal frown on his face.

"you can come in," sunghoon says with a sigh, stepping aside. you duck your head as you cross the threshold.

"and don't be so uptight next time," he adds. you can practically hear the smirk as he says this.

you glare daggers at sunghoon and he's still smiling as he closes the door behind him. he crosses his arms and studies you.

he leans back against the door and you straighten yourself up as much as you could.

"what's your problem, sunghoon?" you ask, planting your hands on your hips.

"what's yours?" sunghoon replies. you feel a twinge of annoyance spark in your chest.

"nothing," you emphasize. "and that's exactly it. i don't have a problem but if you don't stop acting like that, i might just have one soon enough."

"acting like what?" sunghoon questions, tilting his head to the side.

you swallow. you rack your brain for something to say, and don't be mistaken, you have a lot, but it's like your train of thought has halted altogether.

"like...that," you say, gesticulating vaguely with your hands.

sunghoon laughs, a hand coming up to run through his hair. you watch him, observe as his muscles shift beneath that stupidly tight, stupidly attractive shirt.

...what?

"are you this jumpy with my brother?" sunghoon asks, shoving his hands in the pockets of his grey sweatpants.

"i don't follow," you say, taking a step back. being close to sunghoon seems suffocating now, as if the air is stuffy with something you can't quite put your finger on.

"of course, you don't," sunghoon mutters under his breath.

it takes everything in you not to punch him square in the jaw.

"you like benj, don't you?" it's more of a statement rather than a question and it's so unexpected to you, you nearly stumble back in surprise.

"what?" is all you can say.

sunghoon snorts as if your confusion is oh-so-amusing.

"no need to deny it, _______," sunghoon reassures. "everyone with one working eye can see it."

you decide to stay silent. maybe if you don't react, sunghoon would drop the subject.

sunghoon seems satisfied with himself as he grins, nodding to himself, probably mentally patting himself on the back for his 'detective work'. he brushes past you and you get a whiff of his perfume and what you can assume is his body wash.

fresh. powdery. clean.

you wait a second before you hear his bedroom door close.

you let out a breath you weren't aware you were holding.

your phone vibrates with a notification and you're relieved to see it's a message from benj.

'are you at my place yet? i'll be home in a few. sunghoon will let you in. sorry, love u!'

you smile to yourself as you lock your phone.

---

you couldn't stop thinking about it.

were you really that obvious? or is it just some twin telepathy that's why sunghoon could tell? could benj tell?

you sit up, careful not to jostle anything in your immediate vicinity. you peer up at benj's sleeping figure from where you're situated on his spare mattress, positioned on the floor right next to his bed.

he seems to be deep in slumber, shoulders rising and falling steadily. you swallow, realizing how parched your throat has gotten. you get up on your feet, treading carefully around benj's room to get to the door.

you exit, walking down the hallway of the parks' penthouse apartment, trying to make as minimal sound as you can. you round the corner to where you know the kitchen is and you immediately stop in your tracks.

"shit—" you curse, startled by the figure standing by the kitchen island.

your eyes adjust to the dim lighting and you realize you've come face to face with sunghoon.

"hi, _______," sunghoon greets. "fancy seeing you here."

you huff, approaching the refrigerator. "ha ha. you scared the shit out of me."

you hear sunghoon laugh quietly from behind you.

you take the ice-cold pitcher out of the fridge, setting it on the counter before walking over to the cupboards where the parks keep their glasses.

you can feel sunghoon watching you, aware of the burning attention. you can feel your neck prickle with it.

you pull the cupboard door open and it's only now that you realize you can barely see. afraid to just reach in and possibly knock over and break something, you pause, willing your vision to adjust even more to the low lighting.

"hey, can you turn on the—"

your words are cut off when you feel warmth press up against your back. you flinch, watching with wide eyes as sunghoon's arm braces itself against the countertop in front of you. he reaches over you, his breath tickling the top of your head.

you shiver involuntarily.

you turn to face him, pressing yourself fully against the granite behind you. sunghoon pulls a glass down from the cupboard, handing it to you. his arm is still planted firmly to your side, half caging you in.

"here," sunghoon says.

you can just make out his face in the low light, his scent invading your senses once more. you take the glass from him and he steps away, freeing you.

you wordlessly return to the center of the kitchen, pouring yourself the water you desperately need. and boy, do you need it.

you gulp down mouthfuls of it, unsure why your legs are suddenly weak, your knees threatening to give out.

"hey," sunghoon calls out. you pause, turning to where he's still standing by the cupboards.

he has the same easy stance he had earlier in the day. leaned back, arms crossed. even in the dark, you can feel him staring.

"what?" it comes out a little more harshly than you'd like and you wince.

"do you hate me or something?" sunghoon asks brusquely.

once again, you find yourself rendered speechless by sunghoon.

"no," you answer simply, setting your glass down.

"then why don't you hang out with me like you do with benj?" sunghoon asks, approaching you.

"because benj is my best friend, you're not," you respond. sunghoon stops right in front of you and you have to crane your neck to meet where you think his eyes are.

"your best friend that you're in love with," sunghoon says, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"that's not true," you deny.

sunghoon snickers. "sure, keep lying to yourself, sweetheart."

you inhale at the term of endearment.

"you know, i never understood why you got closer to him but you stopped spending time with me altogether," sunghoon muses. "the three of us grew up together, remember?"

you do.

the afternoons spent in the local playground. you and benj sat on the swings while sunghoon pushed. you and sunghoon on the seesaw while benj attempted to balance in the middle (much to their mother's horror). the twins hiding while you played seeker.

a smile tugs at your lips at the memory. and then it falters just as quick.

"you were the one who stopped hanging out with us," you say, a little accusatory in the way you did. "you had newer ice hockey friends and when middle school rolled around, you decided those girls were worth your time more than us."

'more than me,' is what you wanted to say. but you swallow it down.

sunghoon stays silent at this. after what you estimate is a minute, he sighs.

"sorry," is all he says.

you shake your head. "it's okay, we all drift apart from our childhood friends at one point."

sunghoon steps even closer. you can feel him now. a strange crackle of electricity tickles your fingertips.

"that's not the case with you and benj," sunghoon observes.

it's your turn to say nothing.

"i can help you," sunghoon suggests. your head snaps up as you try to process sunghoon's words.

you can see him now, illuminated by the faint hallway lights behind you. sunghoon's looking at you, expression unreadable.

"help me?" you parrot back. sunghoon nods.

"i can help you get with benj, if that's what you want. plant the seeds, so to speak," sunghoon explains. "he is my twin brother, after all."

you consider this for a moment. there's no denying the giddy feeling you get in benj's presence. the comfort it gives you when you spend the whole day together. the butterflies in your stomach when he beams at you, all bright and shining.

this should be an offer you can't refuse.

"i just have one thing to ask of you," sunghoon cuts through your thoughts.

"what?" you ask.

sunghoon pauses, turning away as if gathering his own words.

"do you ever feel that there's this weird...thing between us?" sunghoon asks.

your whole body seems to stiffen. your hands turn cold, clammy.

"like tension," sunghoon elaborates. "something you can't really explain."

"no," you answer a little too quickly.

sunghoon chuckles. "there you go again, lying."

you avoid sunghoon's gaze, staring hard at a spot behind him where his shadow dances against the cabinets.

"if you agree to...try this thing with me just this once, i'll help you get together with benj," sunghoon concludes, bending lower so he's in your line of sight.

unable to avoid him any longer, you look into sunghoon's eyes. he's much clearer now, your eyes well-adjusted to the dark. he's looking at you, expression soft, unlike the other times you've come face-to-face with him.

"so, you're offering to be my wingman, but only if i let you fuck me?" you string your words out carefully. "is that it?"

sunghoon sighs, shrugging. "basically, yeah. sounds fucking weird but you can always say no."

"it is weird," you confirm. you cross your arms as you narrow your eyes at sunghoon.

"can't we just skip the part where we fuck and go straight to the part where you help me?"

sunghoon grins down at you, dipping even lower so you're eye level with him.

"it's as if you don't know me at all, _______," sunghoon says lowly. "that hardly seems fair, sweetheart."

you grit your teeth.

"besides, do you want to skip the part where we fuck?" sunghoon presses on the last word, holding your gaze as he said it. you feel a warmth spread all over your body.

you take a deep breath, steadying yourself. your mind is at war with itself, warning you that this is a bad idea. if you get together with benj after, what then? take the secret that you fucked his brother to your grave?

"just this once, and when we're done, you'll help me, correct?" you say, raising a brow at sunghoon.

sunghoon nods. "exactly."

you pause. you want it. what 'it' is, you're not so sure.

you reach your hand out.

"deal."

sunghoon grasps your hand in his, squeezing firmly. his fingers envelop yours easily, your palm almost cartoonishly smaller than his.

and he's warm. so warm.

your eyes meet his and it's like something snaps.

you feel sunghoon grasp at your waist and your own arms come flying up to wrap around sunghoon's neck. he kisses you fervently, harshly, desperately. you respond with the same enthusiasm, pulling him closer to you.

sunghoon pushes you against the fridge, the contents rattling within. you gasp as the cold metal presses through your thin pajamas, but sunghoon drinks in any noise from you with his mouth.

"fuck," sunghoon mutters softly.

"god, ______," sunghoon continues, hands splayed against your back, his lips exploring the expanse of your neck.

"sunghoon," you whisper, clutching onto his wide frame. you mewl softly when you feel him suckle on a spot just above your collarbone.

you pull sunghoon away from your neck, guiding his face back to level with yours. you kiss him some more, a strange feeling bubbling within you.

it's making you want more of sunghoon, as if your whole being craved him.

you hear a soft click of a door opening somewhere down the hall and your eyes fly open, your hands forcing sunghoon off you. he jumps back as well, a panicked look on his face.

footsteps echo in the hallway and a voice immediately follows after.

"_______?"

benj. it's benj. his voice is thick with sleep and you look over at sunghoon, eyes wide with alarm.

"i-i'm in the kitchen," you call out. "just needed a drink."

you rush out of the kitchen and into the hall, running right into benj's firm chest. he catches you before you stumble and he holds you at arm's length, looking at you through half-closed eyes.

"there you are," benj says with a laugh.

you let out a nervous giggle of your own, gently pushing benj back towards his room.

"i'm right here," you assure him. benj rambles on about hearing noises from his room and you quickly dismiss it as you just messing around in their kitchen.

just as you herd benj back into his room, you look back down the hall and see sunghoon sauntering casually towards his own door. he catches your eye and winks, stepping quietly into his room.

---

"i know what you were doing last night."

you stop dead in your tracks, hand frozen in midair just as you're unwrapping your hair from your towel.

you had just stepped out of the bathroom adjacent to benj's room, dressed in his shirt and your shorts from yesterday. it's the morning after your little tryst with sunghoon and you were nearly a hundred percent sure you had successfully lied your way out of an explanation to benj.

it turns out, you haven't.

"you were hooking up with sunghoon, weren't you?" benj says, looking at you expectantly.

you put on your best attempt at an appalled expression, eyes wide an lips turning down into a frown.

"no, i wasn't," you muster up with as much disgust as you can.

benj just laughs. "i've lived here for nearly half my life, ____. i know the sounds of this house better than you."

"well, you thought wrong," you argue, busying yourself with brushing through your hair. you keep your eyes trained on the full body mirror in front of you, setting your sight on your own face.

benj comes up behind you, looking at you as if he could see right through you.

you think maybe he can.

"you're such a bad liar," benj accuses.

"i would never hook up with your brother," you protest, raking through your hair aggressively. you're getting antsy and you pray that benj would just drop the subject.

"why not?" benj questions.

you look at his reflection, scowling. "i don't like him like that, benj."

"hooking up with him would feel like hooking up with you," you add. 'a red herring, yes,' you think. 'distract him, make him feel weird for even asking.'

benj gives you a look. "what's so bad about that?"

you stare open-mouthed at benj. a million thoughts are flying through your head and something pinches at your chest.

"you're my best friend, benj," you try to reason. "that's weird."

"and hooking up with my brother isn't?"

you groan, letting your head fall into your hands.

"i didn't hook up with sunghoon!"

benj nods, pouting as if not fully convinced. "okay, whatever you say."

he steps out through the door, leaving you in his eerily quiet room.

you sigh, turning back to your reflection.

"not yet," you whisper to yourself.

---

"aren't you leaving yet?"

you look up from your phone and you're met with sunghoon peeking through benj's door. his hair is damp and you can smell his aftershave from where you're sprawled out on benj's bed.

"nope," you reply curtly, turning back to your phone.

"you've been here two days," sunghoon points out, stepping into the room. you ignore the jolt of excitement in your gut.

"i'll leave once benj comes back from training," you say.

"oh sure, then the two of you will get caught up again in whatever nerd things you do, and then it's the evening and you'll stay another night, walking around in your skimpy pajamas," sunghoon rambles sarcastically.

you narrow your eyes him as you sit up. "what's wrong with my pajamas?"

"they make me impossibly hard, _______. that's what's wrong," sunghoon admits, expression unchanging.

your eyebrows shoot up in mild surprise. "that down bad, huh?"

"nah," sunghoon replies nonchalantly.

"whatever you say, sweetheart," you say, throwing the pet name back at sunghoon.

sunghoon lets his eyes travel over your body, expression darkening, and you feel every hair on your skin stand up under his unrelenting gaze. you shift around, unsure of what to do with sunghoon's undivided attention.

you watch as sunghoon approaches, his jaw set as he pauses right before benj's bed. he meets your eyes and before you know it, sunghoon is crawling over you, stopping once he has you caged in between his arms.

"you're seriously not thinking of fucking me on your twin brother's bed, are you?" you whisper. you're nearly nose to nose with sunghoon now.

"i am," sunghoon answers simply before kissing you, effectively driving you back against the plush mattress.

the same bubbling feeling reappears and you grab at any part of sunghoon that you can, hooking your legs around his waist. he grunts against your mouth and you feel him harden against your core.

"this is my shirt by the way," sunghoon grins against your lips. "benj stole it from me a while back."

you moan at the thought of it. you feel sunghoon reach under your—his—shirt, chuckling when he feels the absence of a bra. he cups one of your breasts in his hand, kneading as he continues his assault on your lips.

"lose this," sunghoon commands, his other hand tugging your shorts down harshly. you oblige, reaching down to discard the piece of clothing along with your underwear.

"but keep this on," sunghoon adds as he kisses along your jaw, referring to the large shirt swallowing your frame.

you kick off your shorts and underwear the same time sunghoon pulls back to undo his own joggers. he throws them off to the side unceremoniously before hovering back over you, his eyes scanning every feature of your face.

"if you're so in love with benj, why are you about to sleep with me on his bed?" sunghoon asks, his fingers trailing down delicately from your chest down to your stomach. you flinch, fighting the urge to curl into yourself at the ticklish feeling.

sunghoon continues down towards the space between your legs, wasting no time swiping through your folds. you gasp, back arching as sunghoon rubs up and down, finger circling teasingly around your entrance.

"you talk too much," you counter, voice shaking. "are you gonna fuck my brains out or what?"

sunghoon sneers, shoving two fingers in without warning. you yelp, turning to bury your face in benj's pillow. it smells like him, but you barely register that, seeing as his twin's fingers are knuckles deep in you.

"go on, run your mouth like you always do, slut," sunghoon taunts. you involuntarily clench down at his use of such a degrading word and sunghoon notices, of course, his mouth curling into a smirk.

"should have known you were into that," sunghoon wonders out loud. he moves his fingers in and out of you, pumping his thick digits into your wanting hole.

you clamp a hand down on your mouth, suppressing every noise that threatens to escape you.

"let me hear you, pretty, come on," sunghoon coos, prying your hand off your face. "it's just the two of us here."

you bite your lip but let yourself be heard as sunghoon continues to fuck you with his fingers. he curls them up inside you and you thrash about, the pressure building within your abdomen.

"gonna cum already? you're so fucking easy," sunghoon comments, leveling his face with your cunt. he blows softly against your clit and you cry out in pleasure.

you feel the wet heat of his tongue press against your bundle of nerves and coupled with sunghoon's fingers, you can't help but curse loudly at the sensations.

"shit, sunghoon!" you whine. "yes, just like that, please."

sunghoon wraps his lips around your clit, sucking and running his tongue over it alternately. you feel like you're about to lose your mind. you're seconds away from orgasm and you barely have any time to warn sunghoon.

"i'm gonna cum, sunghoon i'm gonna—"

you're cut short by your own loud moans as you feel yourself come undone, your whole body seizing up. you grip at the sheets beneath you with one hand while the other reaches down to thread through sunghoon's hair. you hear him grunt against your pussy as you tug at the strands.

eventually, you relax, easing up on sunghoon's hair. he comes up to face you, his mouth glistening with your release. he licks his lips, smirking at the way you watch him with awe.

"you still with me?" sunghoon asks with a raise of his brow. you nod weakly, hands coming up to cup at his face.

sunghoon leans down to kiss you tenderly and you moan as you taste yourself on his lips. he moves his lips against yours slowly, savoring each pass of your tongue over each other's, tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth as he pulls away.

you peek down and see that sunghoon's cock stands red and angry against the black of his shirt.

"fuck me raw," you say before you can stop yourself.

sunghoon's eyebrows shoot up.

"are you sure?" he asks.

you nod, angling your hips up. restraint be damned, you want sunghoon and you want him now.

sunghoon chews down on his bottom lip as he lines himself up against your dripping hole. he coats his tip with your juices and you throw your head back as he teases you with his leaking cock.

"please," you whisper.

sunghoon presses a kiss on your cheek. "i got you, angel."

you feel him push in, stretching you out more than you anticipated. your mouth falls open in a silent moan as sunghoon slowly but surely bottoms out. your heart races and your mind loses all coherent thought. all you can register is that sunghoon feels like he's splitting you open with his dick.

"fuuuuck," sunghoon drawls into your ear.

"so fucking tight and so fucking good," he continues, bracing himself on either side of you. he moves his hips experimentally, pulling out then thrusting in and the two of you moan at the same time.

"give it to me," you pant, pulling sunghoon closer. "don't you dare hold back."

sunghoon grunts as he snaps his hips forward. you whine and moan like a whore as sunghoon fucks into you with reckless abandon. he keeps his eyes on your face, observing every expression that passes over your features.

"look at me," sunghoon orders as you let your eyes flutter close. "i said, look at me."

you obey, peering up at sunghoon through your lashes. he grabs your jaw as he hammers even harder into you. you cry out brokenly as you feel him deep within you. he's like a man starved, eyes wild as he takes you like this. rough and uncaring and oh so desperate.

"waited so long for this," sunghoon grunts. "to have you moaning and begging under me."

you feel tears prickle in your eyes, half from sunghoon's sharp nails digging into your cheek and half from the way his cock repeatedly punches against your cervix. it hurts but it's a pain you'd like to savor.

"god," sunghoon says, his face scrunching up in pleasure. he momentarily closes his eyes as he moves his hips even faster. he turns back to you, and by this time, your tears have escaped, streaking your face.

"fuck yeah, cry for me," sunghoon curses. "my pretty slut, weeping over my dick."

"oh, fuck—"

it came so suddenly, so unexpectedly that you can physically feel your body jolt. your second orgasm of the day rips through you, brought about by the filthy words escaping sunghoon's mouth. you hear him practically growl above you as he stills, your cunt clenching down so hard he's unable to move. you feel him twitch inside you and a second later, the warmth of his cum follows, shooting deep inside.

you're full-on crying now, mind hazy from pleasure as sunghoon catches himself before completely crushing you with his weight.

you wrap your shaky arms around sunghoon's shoulders, stroking his hair as the two of you calm yourselves down. sunghoon pulls out a minute later and you wince, immediately clamping your legs together to keep all of him inside you.

sunghoon plops down next to you, breathing heavy as his eyes stare at the ceiling. you hug your knees to your chest, hoping that nothing stains benj's sheets.

"fuck, that's a good girl, keeping all my cum in," sunghoon says through breathless chuckles. you groan, swatting at his chest.

"get tissues or something," you demand weakly, rolling over to your side. sunghoon pulls you close and cradles you against his chest.

"later," he murmurs, kissing you on the forehead. "just wanna hold you."

you hum in agreement, letting your eyes droop close. the two of you lay there, unmoving for a few minutes.

you initially think it's your imagination but you can hear faint footsteps coming down the hallway from outside benj's room. just as your eyes fly open, a loud knock thunders against the door.

"are you done?" comes benj's muffled voice from the other side.

"as much as i wanted to stay and watch, that might not be something you guys are into, so i gave you your privacy," he continues.

you and sunghoon look at each other, clearly panicking.

"but please, for the love of god, don't do it on my goddamn bed next time!"

#enhypen smut #enhypen scenarios #sunghoon smut #sunghoon scenarios #w: sunghoon

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calpops · 2 years

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Anyone got some book recs 👀

#i keep getting bamboozled with books #they sound so promising from the summary and then they are not what I expected..#or the summary/prologue is in 3rd person then the rest is 1st person 💀#I’m about to be in a slump if I don’t find something good #booktok failed me once and I won’t fall for it again

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happysharkintensifies · 1 year

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Booktok makes me sick, not just because of all the shitty books. It's the prevalence, no, the celebration, of toxic masculinity. Every single booktok book features some variation on the same man. And without fail, against all sensible reason, these characters are portrayed as handsome and charismatic and desirable.

It makes me sick when these authors hold up these toxic, predatory traits and put them on a pedestal as some kind of Ideal Man.

It makes me sick when their aggressiveness and possessiveness is treated as romantic. It makes me sick when these shitty men forcibly grab women, invade their personal spaces, and render them helpless by 'purring' in their ears, every. single. fucking. time.

It makes me sick that these misogynistic, heteronormative, and hypermasculine social conventions keep appearing in so-called feminist literature.

Strip away the idealized elements and you have what is basically the rich, white, cishet, alpha-male archetype. He's tall, usually six feet, physically fit and muscular with obligatory six pack abs, and conventionally handsome, with a chiseled jawline. He's usually clean-shaven, and any hair he may have on his body is minimal. He maintains composure at all times and rarely shows anxiety or uncertainty. He exudes raw charisma and charm and navigates social spaces effortlessly.

His hobbies, if he has any, are stereotypically masculine. When it comes to sex, he's confident, skilled, exclusively dominant, and always knows what to do without communicating with his partner. The sex he enjoys is usually rough, animalistic and overpowering. He may have been with several women in the past, and he may be regarded as a sex god, both in-universe and out.

His toxic traits are rarely portrayed as negative. But when they are, they're usually held up as some edgy, anti-hero persona and the reader is inevitably manipulated into sympathizing with him. He'll be portrayed as a tortured, wounded animal, and his female love interest (and, by proxy, the reader) will decide on some variation of 'I can fix him'.

He is essentially the unrealistic standard the ideal Proper Man; the one that men are expected to emulate, and that women are expected to swoon over.

But what really irks me is the lost potential.

If there are men who don't fit into this mold, they are depicted as pathetic, ineffectual, or any number of negative traits.

The narrative quietly and passive-aggressively mocks them and portray them as boring and un-sexy.

After all, is this the kind of man who will bravely swoop in and sweep a helpless woman off her feet? Of course not. Such men are boys. Wimps. Cowards.

These books are supposed to be fantasy: a genre in which easily anything can be explored. If faeries, magic, and contrived mating bonds can exist, then why can't we also have male characters who exist outside the stereotypical, hypermasculine mold?

Why is it that we can have so many fantastical, impossible, and wondrous magical forces, creatures, and peoples, but we can't have men who aren't possessive, abusive, or controlling?

Why is it that male characters, have to be so innately dominant, abusive, and violent? Why do they have to be so fit and muscular and strong?

Even worse, why is it treated as something that is so natural, so inescapable, even in the realm of fiction?

Where are the men who aren't tall and fit? Where are the men who don't have sculpted abs or chiseled jawlines? Where are the men who aren't lean and muscular?

Why can’t we have men who are skinny or overweight? Why can't we have men who aren't handsome or attractive, but just average looking? Why can't we have men who are shorter or just average height?

Why can't we have men with non-stereotypical hobbies? Why can't we have men who love to read, or paint, or write, or sing, or dance, or build model kits?

Why can’t we have men who are timid and shy? Why can't we have men who feel anxiety, fear, and sadness? Why can't we have men who aren't afraid of crying openly?

Why can't we have men who aren't sex gods? Why can't we have men who aren't confident in bed? Who are anxious, or even scared, at the prospect of sex? Who are passive instead of dominant? Who want to experience intimacy and affection?

Why can’t we have men be kind and gentle and sweet for once?

I'll tell you why we can't. Because booktok says men like these are not 'man' enough. Booktok says men like these are the 'boring' option, and completely devoid of interesting quirks, traits or personality. Booktok says men like these are underserving of attention, and only fit to be background noise.

As far as booktok is concerned, men like these can't exist.

#anti sjm #anti booktok #anti colleen hoover #anti coho #masculinity #toxic masculinity #booktok critical #healthy masculinity #fuck booktok

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bordysbae · 1 year

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ok hear me out… 32. "do this tiktok with me" like imagine trying to do the booktok door leaning one with Mat Barzal.

“booktok”

mathew barzal x reader

warning: slight mentions of sex?

“mat come do this tiktok with me!” you exclaim, immediately hopping off of the bed and running into the living room where your boyfriend is. “oh god, absolutely not,” he chuckles.

“please? it’s not anything like a dance, you don’t have to worry about your bad dance skills,” you shrug, making mat jokingly roll his eyes.

“fine i’ll do it, what do i have to do?” he asks as he rises off of the couch.

“you just have to lean over me in the doorway,” you nervously chuckle, afraid he’ll change his mind. “i already lean over you though? you’re short,” he shrugs, making you playfully hit his chest as you set up the phone in a doorway.

“not everyone is six-foot!”

“six-foot one actually. now what do i do? i just lean over you?”

“yeah basically! you also have to put your hand on the top of the doorway too,” you say, trying to show him what you mean but ultimately failing due to the height difference. after showing him examples on your phone, he tells you he’s ready. as you’re leaning against the door waiting for him to do the thing, you burst out laughing when he does, making him laugh too.

“you look so serious!” you say in between laughs. “i don’t want to mess it up! redo it, we’re doing this again,” he assures. you guys attempt to do it, but always end up laughing at the end.

“why can’t we be serious for one minute?” mat laughs, putting your phone back where it was, starting the tiktok again. “you’re asking me?” you laugh. after many attempts, you guys get a good take. you end up liking the ones where you guys are laughing better, so you decide to just post one of those. once you’ve posted the video, you and mat cuddle up on the couch to watch whatever hockey game is in tonight.

“you know that tiktok we did is from booktok, it’s a big thing to write in romance books that the guy like leans over the doorway to kiss the girl,” you inform mat.

“is it written in any of those sex books you read?” mat teases, referring to your collection of sexy-romance books. “shut up!” you blush out of embarrassment, hiding your face in the blanket.

“oh i’m just teasing, you know i’m down to do anything, don’t be ashamed!” mat chuckles, poking your side. “mathew barzal!” you blush even more, both flustered and embarrassed.

#mathew barzal fluff #mathew barzal x reader #mathew barzal imagine #mathew barzal #mat barzal #mat barzal fluff #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine #hockey blurb #hockey imagine

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blouisparadise · 2 months

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Today we are excited to bring you the second part to our rec list of exes to lovers fics. You can find the first part to this rec list here. Please note that in some of these fics, they’re broken up before the story begins, and in some of these fics, they break up over the course of the story and then reunite. Happy reading!

1) The Prints Of Your Hands Are Still On My Canvas | Explicit | 4,563 words

Harry and Louis broke up not long ago. Everything was fine until then, problems started with Louis’ heat just around the corner, an important presentation that he could not miss, and a very visible (or more like invisible) alpha that could help him go through his heat. And then Harry shows up. (Again.)

2) Unspoken | Explicit | 5,175 words

Harry and Louis broke up when they were nineteen. They see each other after six years.

3) The Writing On the Wall | Explicit | 6,705 words

When BookToker Louis receives a gift basket filled with all his favorite sweets, wines, and stuffed animals alongside the new Harry Styles book, he’s shocked at the story he finds in the pages.

4) Can I Stand In Your Light, Just For A While? | Mature | 11,875 words

“But like, if they offered you that much money it means they really really want your works.” Niall continued. “I mean I guess, I still don’t get why,” he shrugged. “It's because you’re an amazing artist Lou.” Niall squeezed Louis’ arm. “Also, maybe the CEO guy has some sort of crush on you, and that's why.” “I really hope that's not true.” The man paid for his tomatoes and put them into his tote bag. “Why? Is the guy ugly? Bald?” Niall babbled. “No, Niall…” “Old? I bet he’s old.” “Niall! It's Harry, he’s the CEO guy.” Louis sighed. “What?!” Niall shrieked, probably startling the whole block.

5) Wedding Bells Will Never Ring For Me | Explicit | 14,807 words

After a failed proposal a few years back, Louis gets an unexpected invitation to his ex - Harry’s – wedding.

6) Nothing’s Scarier Than Losing You | Explicit | 15,463 words

When Louis and Harry run into each other at a Halloween party two months after their breakup, they’re reminded of how rude, infuriating, and utterly perfect for each other they are.

7) How You Sleep At Night | Mature | 15,568 words

“-And…this is Louis.” And just that. ‘This is Louis.’ Louis feels like throwing up out of nowhere. So, that’s it then? Is he just a ‘Louis’ to him now?

8) Silk Chiffon | Explicit | 20,122 words

Louis gets a message from his ex making fun of him for pretending to know how to cook on Instagram. They settle on a simple bet, Louis had to be Harry's perfect little housewife for an entire month.

9) Under The Rain Or Under The Snow | Explicit | 20,667 words

Christmas AU where they broke up a month ago but Harry shows up at Louis’ childhood home for the holidays. Louis didn’t tell his mum about their breakup so staying with them is not ideal. Harry stays.

10) My Waves Meet Your Shore | Mature | 23,873 words

When Louis gets an email from his ex - Harry - it shouldn't surprise him as much as it does; they're parents now and it isn't rare to communicate with each other. But this? He wasn't expecting it at all.

11) Your Heart Is Dangled In Front Of Me | Explicit | 27,085 words

Harry Styles prides himself in being one of the best detectives in The 28th Precinct. But if there’s one case he can’t solve, it’s his marriage. At least not on his own. Joining forces with his five-year-old son and a free-spirited murderer-on-trial, Harry does whatever it takes to bring Louis back.

12) Somebody's Got Your Trainers On (It's You) | Explicit | 28,000 words

Louis hasn't thought about Harry since half an hour after the shift started, when Krystle told him that she was binging Gogglebox last night and therefore didn't get enough sleep - a sure reminder of Harry’s temporary Gogglebox obsession. Five hours isn't much without thinking about someone, but that's as long as it gets. Louis came to terms with that two years ago. When Harry walked out the door with his stupid New Balance trainers and never looked back.

13) Last Blues For Bloody Knuckles | Explicit | 34,293 words

Styles was a name everyone knew. It had evolved into something of a fairy tale, a far away problem that normal people didn’t have to deal with. Louis never thought he’d find himself falling in love with him. When he finds himself pregnant with Harry’s child, he knows he has to leave the life, and Harry, behind. For her sake. He never expected Harry to show back up on his doorstep five years later.

14) The Wounds That Scarred Our Souls | Explicit | 35,910 words

Forever was nothing but a lie, Forever was just a ruse for the human heart, it gave you hope and then killed you. Forever was just a myth.

15) Stay Until Tomorrow | Explicit | 36,766 words

There’s a dull ache seeping through Louis’ body as he wakes up; a mild headache from last night’s alcohol intake, a cramp in his right arm from sleeping on it weird and a familiar soreness between his arse cheeks that Louis fully blames on his lousy one night stand.

16) Borrow The Moonlight | Explicit | 37,738 words

Louis and Harry broke up three years ago. The last thing Louis expects to see when he’s sent to help a guest is Harry, 3000 miles away from where he’s supposed to be.

17) The Space Between | Explicit | 39,917 words

Harry Styles is the alpha rockstar who can’t sleep and doesn’t know why. Louis Tomlinson is the omega PhD student who helps him figure it out.

18) Just A Flicker In The Dark | Explicit | 57,204 words

Louis is a struggling witch desperate to prove himself after yet another magic disaster and finds a calling in the haunted house of client Niall Horan. Things get more complicated when he’s assigned a case partner: acclaimed medium and ex-boyfriend, Harry S

19) Dark Doom, Honey | Explicit | 57,801 words

Note: There is also an AU version of this fic, which is also an exes to lovers fic.

Louis lifted one shoulder, lips slightly pursed. “You are acting like an asshole.” Harry’s mouth pressed into a thin line, eyebrows knitting together. “I wasn’t being an asshole, I was following my own rules. The ones I always follow when I’m about to start an arrangement with a new submissive. If you don’t want this or are having doubts, we should stop now. But if we do this, I do want to make something clear, I’ll never do anything you don’t want to, but you have to be aware that I’ll never be sweet, I don’t do sweet, you already saw what I do. If you want something different you can go on dates, this is not that. Are we clear?” It was the perfect way out. Louis could simply say no and their lives would keep on going as they were. So far, nothing was changed beyond repair. But he wanted to be. At some point in his life, way before Harry and the betrayals, Louis lost a little of himself, and had never felt closer to getting it back than in Lair, with Harry. “Crystal.”

20) Men of Steel, Men of Power | Explicit | 58,849 words

“You’ve been watching me,” Styles said. Louis swallowed around nothing. He tried for light. “You’re the newest addition, people are bound to be curious,” he said. “Sure,” said Styles, in a somewhat condescending tone. “I’m not that daft, I do notice the curiosity regarding my clothes. That’s not what you’re doing though, hm?” Styles’ gaze was intense, and Louis could feel it burn on the side of his face, but kept his eyes stubbornly on the coffee cup. “I,” he said, licked his lips. Took a deep breath, tried to look open, confident, dominant. Alpha.

21) It’s Golden, Like Daylight | Explicit | 61,496 words

"I actually think you might be onto something.” Harry’s eyes widened. “You mean…” Louis nodded. “As crazy and insane as this, this might just solve both of our problems.” “Are you saying you’re in?” Harry asked. “I’m in.”

22) Feeling Borrowed, Always Blue | Explicit | 68,214 words

Louis has been dreaming of his wedding since he was young - he just never expected it to happen like this. words

23) Violent Delights | Not Rated | 76,174 words

Prince Harry is arranged to mate Princess Charlotte, but first he must spend a month completing courting traditions which ends in a mating ceremony. When he arrives to the Tomlinson castle, he finds the forbidden North wing holds that which the family has worked hard to keep secret. Mainly: the sickly sweet Prince Louis, who’s rare gender has forced his family to keep him locked away for his own protection.

24) Sink Into Your Sunlight | Explicit | 79,562 words

In the grand scheme of things Louis did believe in love, what he didn’t believe was that he would ever find it in his life time for himself. Low and behold he would find it with someone he didn’t anticipate, now it was just a matter of having it work out the way he dreamed of.

25) Halfway Home | Mature | 103,158 words

Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson were improbable childhood friends, much to Harry’s dismay. They were thrown together each summer when Harry was forced to visit Louis’ grandfathers’ ranch in Black Hills, South Dakota. With each passing year, their friendship blossomed into something more. When trail rides turned to stolen kisses, and tragedies turned to confessions until they could no longer deny the inevitable draw they felt for one another. Though life and their future plans soon set them on different paths. Ten years later, Louis is the proud owner of Halfway Home Wildlife Refuge. Harry returns to the ranch to escape the perils of his past in London, and though their memories still haunt Louis, he won’t let that deter him from his goals. However, someone has been keeping a close eye on the refuge, and possibly Louis specifically, and Harry’s return may have unleashed more than just old passions. There’s a hunter lurking in the Hills, someone who’s decided they’ve bided their time long enough.

Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.

#bottom louis #top harry #larry #fic recs #blp fic recs #blp

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zevranunderstander · 4 months

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also all the people that are like "you should watch black sails if you liked ofmd, wwdits and good omens!" are literally insane to me and not just for the reason that these shows have so fundamentally different tones and genres and target audiences but because some people literally just watch everything that has "gay content" JUST because of the gay content.

like. do y'all not have tastes and genres and themes you enjoy? like. i saw recent booktok hit red, white and royal blue and black sails on the same queer rec list just a minute ago. are you literally just watching things that are gay, because they are gay? do you like black sails because 5 characters are gay and they did that "gay switch" everyone talks about and not because it's about characters who deal with all forms of social ostracization and oppressive systems, while enforcing other oppressive systems on other characters, while all failing to see the real threat of colonialism, white supremacy and civilization on the horizon and how it's everyone's choice to assimilate into the status quo or die trying to fight it?? hello??? red white and royal blue???

#myposts #black sails #i have. a lot of thoughts and emotions about black sails

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olderthannetfic · 3 months

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I occasionally watch Unresolved Textual Tension mainly because they are in the 30s, which is rare for BookTube, and Maria is unapologetic about being a monsterfucker and will roast anything that's hyped as that but lacks actual monsterfucking.

I think that part of why some people dislike them is because they'll roast ANY book they dislike, regardless of whether it has good rep or not, and this goes against the ethos of BookTube and Booktok. Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable making videos about why a book that's trying for good rep is mediocre because that helps nobody politically and maybe indirectly harms the prospects of future publications - conservatives love to see diverse books fail - but that's just me. Book reviewers are allowed to be honest about their tastes.

So far, UTT has hated two books I've liked - Song of Achilles and The Traitor Baru Cormorant - and they've mostly liked the books/series I've liked, including Black Sun, Ancillary Justice, the Kushiel series, Uprooted, The Locked Tomb, Hyperion Cantos, and The Grace of Kings. Normie YA/NA romantasy like ACOTAR and psychopathic NLOG revenge fantasy like Iron Widow will be roasted on their channel. That's probably going to alienate readers for whom those things are wish fulfillment, and that's understandable.

I'm howling at the term "Normie YA/NA romantasy".

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desire-mona · 12 days

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dps boys hcs! this has been requested of me! lets make it modern bc thatll be fun

- todd absolutely DESPISES "booktok" and its addiction to smut. can go on a VERY long rant abt how only reading things with sex scenes is, in fact, a porn addiction.

- knox has tried on many occasions to become an influencer, failing every single time and blaming it on the algorithm or whaver

- neil, type of mother fucker to not be on social media like at all. has one private instagram that he posts on maybe twice a year, and has a tiktok only to watch the videos todd intermittently sends him.

- ^^^ followed immediately by a text saying "i sent you a tiktok go look at it" which always sparks a mini argument about whether or not its easier to just save the video and text it to him. goes nowhere every time.

- meeks has fashion taste that makes him look insufferable, band tee's and the worst jeans you ever did see, exclusively. also modern meeks would have clear glasses frames.

- saw someone say charlie would vape, id like to add to that. has a COLLECTION of elf bars, its vast, its colourful, it's annoying, it's turning his coughs wet.

- pitts was a fast fashion guy for a total of 6 months before finding out all the shit about how unethical the industry is. didnt get rid of any of those clothes bc thats wasteful but he IS fighting for his life whenever anyone looks at his wardrobe.

- cameron is a BIG analog horror fan, local 58, walten files, fnaf tapes, thats his jam. can we popularise cam being a big horror fan in general bc im so attached to that hc. horror cam i love u.

- all the boys have a life360 circle (enforced by cam and pitts due to charlie's horrendous reckless driving) and todd CONSTANTLY needs to be yelled at the charge his phone.

- neil's phone is ANCIENT, had the same one for nearly a decade, and its evident. has a bigass crack right down the middle, the back is shattered and held together with tape, a phone case, and a dream. theres marks from shit burning into the screen, most notably a rectangle in the bottom corner from the billions of facetime calls with todd that ultimately set his phone on fire every time.

- todd is secretly a grade A yapper but ONLY in digital form. his online presence is VAST, but impressively anonymous. has a very active substack, letterboxd, poetry tumblr, and even started his own blog. no, not a tumblr blog, a blog blog.

- charlie's car is decked out in the most idiotic add ons that you can think of. comically large mirror dice, a bumper sticker that says "honk if you want me bad", stupid car door lights that project a photo of jimmy fallon onto the ground when u open them, the whole 9 yards. took neil, pitts, and cameron 20 minutes to talk him out of getting flame decals (as a bit.)

- knox refuses to play any other videogame besides GTA, which he plays concerningly often. if ur having trouble reaching him then odds are hes on GTA. its the only hobby of his that his parents know about. christmas is tough for the overstreets.

- meeks is well aware of his general ☝️🤓 demeanour so he started making jokes about it before anyone else can. any time he says anything remotely smart sounding then he MUST do the voice and put up a finger. it became a force of habit and he did it while talking to a teacher once, he left the room mortified.

- pittsie lives on spotify, he has a playlist for every possible emotion, over 3k liked songs, and 200k+ minutes listened when wrapped season rolls around. additionally he does every spotify stat game available, and forced the boys to download a spotify activity widget thing. (WHAT DO YALL KNOW ABT AIRBUDS ‼️‼️ add me @ monahatesya xoxo)

- cam loves to make jokes about DARE and the "this is ur brain on drugs" ads but he is, in fact, the main demographic of said ads. said this before, saying it now, will most definitely say it again, he is beyond susceptible to peer pressure. marijuana isnt a gateway drug for everyone but it certainly is for him.

bonus! chris and keating! just for you!

- chris is avoiding the lesbian masterdoc purely out of fear. not out of fear of being gay, but out of fear of the sheer amount of subsequent other things she'll likely also have to find out about herself.

- keating spends an inordinate amount of time on youtube, which nobody actually expects. big video essay fan, imagine the shock from the boys when he pulls up youtube for a lesson and he's halfway thru the 4 hour iBinged iCarly video. was previously a james somerton fan but considering... the james somerton part.. hes now a defunctland loyalist.

#desire mona #WHOO #i successfully remembered all the hcs that got deleted please clap #i forgot how fun these types of posts are #i luuuvvvv getting specific with it #also congrats swifties on the new album release personally i very much dislike her (for the carbon emission reasons not the misogyny reason #) but im glad yall are eating good #dead poets society #neil perry #todd anderson #charlie dalton #knox overstreet #steven meeks #gerard pitts #richard cameron #chris noel #john keating #banger

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thesexiestselkie · 3 months

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Booktok literally never fails to amaze me

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josten4exy · 7 hours

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people on booktok discovering aftg is so insane to me we failed gatekeeping now there are people out calling andreil a grumpy sunshine mm sports romance like what rhe fuck man i hate this

#aftg #all for the game #andreil

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 4 months

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tuesday again 1/9/2024

the BEAST (phil) has been SPAYED

listening

my sister ALSO, INDPENDENTLY, keeps tuesdayesqe lists in the back of her planner! which is what i used to do before these posts! You Got A Man by JAWNY is off her 2023 playlist. this philly artist's claim to fame seems to be that he dated doja cat for six months? the song is short, bratty, and fun indie/alt not-quite-rap. i have no knowledge of how much the man overlaps with the song. spotify

youtube

reading

ive never watched supernatural, except by osmosis bc i signed up for this website in 2011. this book is what i imagine people say when they say "what if supernatural was good?"

Rebecca Roanhorse's Trail of Lightning (her debut) and Storm of Locusts takes Maggie, a typical lone hero/monster hunter/horrible bitch of a woman (i say this approvingly) and says listen! you can do way sicker shit if you like. accept help and community and have a support system. it does not read like booktok found family or approach this in the typical fanfic way, which is refreshing. it points out that you will be a much longer lived and successful monster hunter this way. this is optimization, if you really look at it.

most postapoc stuff doesn’t contend with the fact (if it even acknowledges indigenous people at all) that indigenous people have already lived through several colonizing apocalypses. these books make a very sharp point that there is not a tremendous amount of difference between the reservation before the apocalypse and the reservation after the apocalypse. the worldbuilding in these is a interesting spin on sea levels plus the Energy Wars, to keep all of that at arms' length the Diné built a magical and physical wall, which i think is a funny spin on the trump border wall.

neither of them are really romance or kissing books, there is romantic interest but they are kept extremely busy not dying and admiring each other's competence. they are action and gore heavy. this is notable bc the books are fairly short (took me about two and a half hours each) and they have pretty fuckin good action scenes! the first book has an underground club and fight ring run by a cat god: club atmosphere was terrific (there's a bit about them having to drag in hastily camouflaged cheap walmart tables to handle some overflow and i instantly knew exactly the table), it had a dress up scene I was very weak to. i thought the series of events by which they ended up at the big boss battle post-club was kind of stupid but (forgivably) the big boss battle was quite enjoyable. figuring out what to do with your life next when you’re highly trained for a very specific thing but also not trained enough to be a serious danger and were set up to fail was extremely compelling to me, an astronomy major who cannot actually work in astronomy.

second book really hits its stride and (girl who has only played fallout voice) feels very fallout-y. desperate quest to save a loved one. girls' trip through a bunch of weird places with a bunch of weird guys. there's a lot of references that play with tone without ever going HEY REMEMBER THIS OTHER WORK YOU COULD GO LOOK AT RIGHT NOW? there’s a plane and a weird guy that made me think of mad max thunderdome, except the weird guy is his own character and has his own arc. there’s a weird grandpa on a boat who i don't think is a reference at all, except maybe to the timeless genre of weird grandpas on boats. there’s a sentient casino trapping people inside that reminded me of the new vegas dead money expansion, except Maggie barely steps inside bc she immediately gets caught up in a day-long battle of wits against the god of gambling. Maggie is a little more settled in her own skin now that she’s regularly talking to other people and has rejoined her community in her own small ways on her own terms and it HAS made her a much more successful monster hunter. the dialogue is snappier, the action scenes are more elaborate and smoothly choreographed. it's nice to watch an author grow so quickly (from this is serviceable to oh SHIT this is fun) over the course of a duology :) this feels like it was meant to be a trilogy but this book came out in 2019 so i am not holding my breath. it has a nice solid endpoint right here imo.

past sexual violence is sort of orbited around but no sexual violence is actually depicted, which i appreciate as a woman trying to enjoy postapoc.

libby has a very helpful Indigenous Voices category/reading guide/thing. thank u libby now i want to read everything else she's ever written

watching

saw a piece of fanart i cannot find now for the three minute short PUPARIA by Shingo Tamagawa.

Something is about to change drastically. We can only be witnesses to it.

youtube

it's a weird and stunningly beautiful little thing i am still worrying at like a dog with a peanut butter kong. if you have a thing about eyes or clusters of round shapes this is NOT the three minute short for you btw

playing

the free epic game was the Eidos Montreal Guardians of the Galaxy game, and since i am allergic to dead moms i will not be playing it. widely reviewed as "good writing, but not very much fun to actually play" so i don't feel like i'm missing out on too much.

youtube

i have no good story to tell about my time with genshin this week. we're aiming for "can i turn my brain off for forty minutes in the evening" and grinding a lot of one specific boss while listening to podcasts does seem to be enough to turn my brain off.

making

i have been frantically deep cleaning (including soaking the office in enzymatic cleaner [thanks phil]) bc my siblings are coming to town for a couple days and despite several setbacks (a completely different arrival time than the one they told me) and absolutely no sense of an itinerary we will be fine! we will all be fine and have fun! i will be SO fine and calm and chill and we will all have some fucking fun so help us god

ALSO also phil has finally been spayed and is now dealing with four separate issues: the giant wound still on her side, the spay incision, the necrotic abscess in her mouth from going too hard on a springy toy, and being underweight from trying to heal three things at once. we'll get there! we'll get there. it's just taking a while. we are going to have friday afternoon vet visits every week for the foreseeable future.

i love her so much and i'm glad she's feeling better but i genuinely think owning a horse would be cheaper than owning this one wonky cat. they shaved SO much of her tummy she looks even sillier than usual.

other than being Very Alert for the persistent little orange tomcat that keeps hopping up on my windowsill, mackie is doing fine. no concept of the fact that my siblings are going to pick her up more in two days than she gets picked up in a whole month. this is a girl that likes her feet on the ground thanks much

#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #Youtube

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daenystheedreamer · 2 months

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daenystheedreamer my friend . i have unending curiosity about your occasionally mentioned asoiaf ocs . Please …….. illuminate me i beg of thee

MWAH okay so the thing with my ocs is they mostly live in a big extended universe called omaegorverse and its less of an original character as it is an ensemble cast of original characters i like to play with. ill put those under the cut but i have a couple who arent:

jeyne whent, lady companion to danelle lothston :) helps orchestrate the capture and execution of danelle by snitching to her family. marries her something-or-other cousin who spearheaded the operation and got the lordship. matriarch of house whent of harrenhal /|\ ^._.^ /|\ she and danelle have an inadvisable relationship w each other ^_^ her kids are born with red hair and high cheekbones and look rather like dead lady danelle.......

aelyx son of jon. failed at being a maester fired as the town crier now spends his days drinking at the IATC ranting about how the targaryens are sexually deviant lizard people and the maesters are lying to us. keeps getting arrested but his dad pays them off with his dentistry apothecary money. his sworn sword is outlaw knight ser rogar stone. has a bulletin on the local notice board called wisdomwars. maesters are rats to him and he only listens to local crackpot eddard grouper-tongue. other associates include robb of dewton, lyanne of dewton, teddard son of anders, daven knight (who isnt a knight) and local crazy nobles lord ronnel and ser randyll of house paul. gets into melees with jordayne and danwell across the river. this is a paragraph to be understood by MAYBE two of my followers. Hi guys ^_^

okay omaegorverse characters. God. here are some of my faves theyre all the gorls + viserys:

VISERYS TARGARYEN: canonical character, brother of rhaena, jaehaerys, alysanne. visenya tyanna and maegor use valyrian blood magic to turn him mpreggable and maegor takes him to wife. yeah i know. also in this universe the targs start being born with various physical abnormalities called the dragon trait ^_^ probably thanks to the valyrian blood magic

VISERRA TARGARYEN: daughter of maegor and viserys. really really REALLY wanted to marry her older brother so she could be queen but got thwarted (brother was engaged to aerea daughter of rhaena, and a hightower). she was born with a forked tongue that the maesters sewed up but later in life she cuts it back open. has seven husbands like that booktok character<3 flies into the sun and dies. rider of vhagar

DAENYS TARGARYEN: daughter of maegor and viserys. born with stubby tail and wings which were removed and she was left with scars. phantom pain :) she is haunted and a lesbian. marries a stark after a stark rebellion and he sucks. ends up killing maegor with viserys<3

MARIS HIGHTOWER: wife of the son of maegor+viserys, jaehaerys. betrothed to appease ceryse and the hightowers over the mpreg thing. she is also a lesbian sorryyyyy i cant help it. has six children all of whom she outlives. somewhat neglectful to her younger three children due to the elder three being kind of crazy.

HELAENA TARGARYEN: eldest daughter of maris and jaehaerys, called the beauty literally all her life since birth. her elder brothers, twins aegon and aerion vie for her affection. aerion murders the high septon at like 14 after he finds out the guy was abusing helaena, and refuses to confess in order to protect helaena's dignity and he gets exiled to essos for it. later on after aegon is crowned, aerion does a paris and helen and kidnaps helaena. blah blah blah both die in battle against each other and helaena retires and later marries a nice hightower man. has one son with aegon and two with aerion. her daughter aerea later weds aegon's son jaehaerys. rider of dreamfyre

DAENERYS TARGARYEN: second daughter of maris and jaehaerys. one of the younger three who are a little neglected. after aerion was exiled, maris left with aegon helaena and her younger daughter maegelle to the hightower, leaving daenerys and her younger brother viserys alone at the red keep. daenerys later marries lord velaryon. after both her brothers die on the throne, she swoops in as queen regent for her great-nephew and rules for a decade. reconciles with her mother :)

DAENAERA VELARYON: wife of maris and jae's son aegon, maegor made polygamy legal for targs with the exception that they can marry one valyrian bride in the valyrian tradition and one westerosi bride in the Faithful tradition. she's the valyrian bride. has three sons, monterys lucerys and jacaerys. after her husband is killed she steals them away to dragonstone and besieges the island, refusing to leave or let her sons leave (her son monterys is the heir). various tragedies happen to her sons :)

JOCASTA LANNISTER: wife of maris and jae's son aegon in the faithful tradition. she is the daughter of viserra targaryen by her second lannister husband. super mad about being a sister-wife and especially mad cos since she's half targ she's more related to/more valyrian than daenaera, who is half baratheon and half lesser velaryon. has five children with aegon: rhaena laena jaehaerys helaena and viserion. after aegon dies, she remarries to a baratheon cos she wants to garner support for her son over daenaera's. she does win! her son does end up on the throne but only after aegon's brother viserys, daenerys, and daenaera's grandson daeron. boymom to the nth degree

ALYSANNE 'ANYA' TULLY: wife of jocasta's son jaehaerys, betrothed to garner the support of the riverlands. jae's wife-in-the-faith, opposite the wife-in-the-blood aerea daughter of helaena. she's very headstrong and has crazy-eyes. great-granddaughter of aenys targaryen through his daughter vaella targaryen (who survives in this au). bullies her second sister alyssa targ and her husband's later mistresses: jeyne storm of tarth, jeyne pryor, and alysanne hawthorne. she probably had the two jeynes killed.

ALYSANNE 'ALYSSA' TARGARYEN: second valyrian wife of jaehaerys. she's a targ through her grandfather viserys-son-of-maris even though viserys was gay (his wife alyssa arryn was mega nutso, did some turkey baster pregnancies and got in with r'hllor dont worry about it). last of her family branch so she's a little haunted. gets bullied by anya tully a lot but they sorta team up against the mistresses. alyssa has a lot of latent anger which she will never release of course and will only die with regret.

ALYSANNE 'RED ALY HAWBERRY' HAWTHORNE: young minor noblewoman who is kidnapped by the ironborn during a huge rebellion-raid thing thats quickly crushed. all the girls who got kidnapped were taken to the red keep to be treated (propaganda). the king takes a liking to her (shes 16, hes 34 🤢). she's naive and kind and sweet and loving and despised by her lover's wives. she's called the hawberry as a cute nickname but its morphs into everyone clearly saying it as whoreberry..... ends up unknowingly surviving several assassination attempts by the alysannes marrying the king! when he dies the illusions are fully shattered and she runs away with her two bastard daughters. she has strawberry blonde hair and wears pink flower crowns and loves everybody in the world (she's getting fidel castro'd so hard right now)

anyway thats wayyyyyyy too many jesus christ my bad my bad. thank you so so so much for your love and interest in my silly thoughts mwah mwah. i hope this is a fun read! im gonna finally release my long awaited much derided omaegorverse family tree soon :) KISSES

#ask #sshireens #au:omaegorverse

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