#bob: meme time baby | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suzukiblu · 2 months

Note

If you feel up for it, for the writing meme prompt, Clark Kent/Lex Luthor, with the song You And Me by Lifehouse? If it's not your thing I totally get it though and hope you have a great time and fun writing the things that do catch your fancy!

I think we ALL knew that I was gonna do baby Kon for this, lbr. Also ngl, this came out way more cracky than the prompt would suggest it should've but it is absolutely my favorite thing I’ve written for this meme so far, as the necessity for the following cut should help attest, haha.

Unfortunately, Lex takes one look at Cadmus’s progress report on the newly-crafted Experiment Thirteen and realizes he has paternal instincts.

Well, that’s inconvenient. And a little disgusting, honestly. Certainly a disappointment.

He supposes it could be worse. He could be Lionel about this.

Anyway, that’s how he has a physiological four year-old on his lap when he hears the news about Superman coming back to life and fistfighting an evil cyborg with his own face about it, because of course the man didn’t have the decency to just stay dead. Why would he, after all?

Lex needs a drink. That would be a bad example for the physiological four year-old, though.

Then again, Experiment Thirteen should be completely immune to the effects of Earth-based alcohol in about another four to six months of consistent yellow sun exposure, so . . .

Lex is halfway through his second brandy when Superman shows up on his balcony at super-speed wearing a very pretentiously dramatic black suit and looking both winded and bewildered. And still alive, unfortunately.

“Don’t you have a murderous cyborg to be ensuring is in custody?” Lex asks dryly, deciding to just not acknowledge the presence of the physiological four year-old who’s moved on to messily but methodically coloring on the floor underneath his desk. Lex didn’t actually give Experiment Thirteen either a coloring book or crayons, mind, but he appreciates the clone’s resourcefulness in breaking into the office supplies. Anyway, it’s useful for developing its hand-eye coordination and fine motor control.

Superman’s pupils are pin-pricks, barely even there at all. Which is an unusual reaction from him, and Lex notes that fact reflexively but doesn’t particularly care about it. Meant-to-be-dead people do unusual things, especially the alien ones. And it isn’t as if–

“Baby,” Superman blurts, his eyes wide.

Lex . . . pauses. Takes a slow sip of his brandy.

Alright then.

“Yes, I’ve noticed,” he settles on eventually, raising an eyebrow at him. Experiment Thirteen peers out from under the desk, immediately decides Superman isn’t an interesting presence, and then goes back to coloring all over Lex’s floor. It seems to be drawing either a puppy or a chain of complex genetic sequencing, but judging by the kinds of things it’s been drawing so far, it’s fifty-fifty. Lex has been getting the impression the clone actually likes art, which is a baffling interest to find in his own progeny, but how does that quote go . . . “I am a warrior, so that my son may be a merchant, so that his son may be a poet”?

Or something like that, anyway.

“No, I–baby,” Superman stresses, looking bewildered as he floats down a little closer to the open balcony door.

“. . . yes, I’ve noticed,” Lex repeats, raising his eyebrow again and taking another sip of brandy. Superman looks frazzled, bobbing up a little higher in the air again to get a better view of Experiment Thirteen under the desk. Experiment Thirteen keeps ignoring him in favor of its coloring, displaying no apparent interest in the most powerful uninvited guest in the history of illegal immigration. Lex experiences a moment of overwhelming paternal pride, which is such a bizarre and unanticipated experience that he doesn’t even know what to do with it.

“Where’d he come from?” Superman asks with a wondering expression. Ugh.

“A cloning lab,” Lex replies dismissively, setting his near-empty glass down on the desk. It’s hardly worth lying about Experiment Thirteen’s origins at this point. He didn’t want to murder everyone in Cadmus to keep the secret. He might need them if there’s an issue with Experiment Thirteen’s genetics later, after all. “We mixed it up a couple weeks ago while you were off wasting everyone’s time being dead."

“You had my baby?” Superman says, tilting in the air and still staring at Experiment Thirteen, as if he's somehow forgotten both how much kryptonite Lex owns and how much kryptonite he keeps specifically in this office. “While I was dead. You had my baby while I was dead.”

. . . alright then, Lex thinks again, both eyebrows raising this time.

“I really wouldn’t put it that way, personally,” he says. “Also, I don’t recall saying it was in any way yours.”

“Baby,” Superman repeats inanely, then lands on the floor and ducks down into a crouch to peer under the desk better, his pupils still reduced to barely-there pinpricks. Lex is so mystified he doesn't even activate the security system or the weaponized red sun lamps. Experiment Thirteen frowns at Superman–Lex, again, basks in unanticipated paternal pride–and then turns its back on him and hides all its drawings from him as seriously and carefully as if they were under NDA.

It's almost adorable, frankly.

Not that Lex finds things adorable, of course.

“His heartbeat's so cute,” Superman says, looking absolutely fascinated. Which is surprisingly useful of him to mention, actually, since Lex had previously been vaguely concerned that Experiment Thirteen's odd thrumming heartbeat might be a sign of a heart defect, but apparently it’s just a Kryptonian thing. A . . . “cute” Kryptonian thing, according to Superman.

Lex is increasingly mystified by this interaction.

“Can’t say I’ve spent much time listening to it, personally,” he lies, because he has in fact obsessed over that heartbeat’s health and stability since first finding out about its unusualness and has done a truly aggravating amount of research into heart murmurs and conditions and the like. But that’s hardly Superman’s business, now is it.

“. . . what’s his name?” Superman asks hesitantly. Lex is possibly having an out of body experience.

“Experiment Thirteen,” he says. Superman immediately looks offended.

“We need to give him a name, Lex,” he says. Lex, again, has an out of body experience.

“‘We’?” he repeats incredulously. “I made it, I get to decide what it’s called.”

“He’s got my DNA!” Superman protests, looking indignant. Lex has absolutely no idea how to process that expression.

“It has both our DNA, in fact, yours was too irritating to stabilize alone,” Lex informs him dubiously. More accurately it was literally impossible to stabilize alone, but he’s not mentioning that to Superman. “So it has my DNA, and I made it. And also put eight point two billion dollars into its production, as a lowball estimate. Therefore I’m the one who decides what its name is, thank you very much.”

“Lex,” Superman says disapprovingly. “You can’t call a baby Experiment Thirteen.”

“It’s physiologically developed enough to complain if it doesn’t like it,” Lex retorts, narrowing his eyes at him. Superman frowns at him. Lex has never had a more ridiculous conversation with the man, including all the times Superman’s tried to appeal to his nonexistent “better nature”. “Well it is.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Superman says, then ducks back down and peers at Experiment Thirteen again, gentling his voice to address it while Lex is still incredulously mouthing “ridiculous”? to himself. “Would you like a real name, kiddo?”

Experiment Thirteen sticks its tongue out at him.

Lex is finding parenthood to be a very rewarding experience, actually.

#clex #lex luthor #clark kent #kon el #conner kent #superman #superboy #superfamily #rinfic #anonymous

363 notes · View notes

neroushalvaus · 5 months

Text

Tumblr in the 60s – Part 2

Part 1 / Deleted Scenes

💁🏼‍♀️brigittebardots Follow

anyone want to get fake married so i can get the pill to slut around

💋 marrymetwiggy Follow

Just say you have painful monthlies, I heard it works if you have a nice doctor!

💫 treatmetendermaureen Follow

Remember you still should use the sheet whenever possible. Stay safe ♡

1087 notes

♒ let-the-sunshine-in Follow

i think there's something wrong with me, i'm just so sleepy all the time, it's not fair

👭 marvelettesofficial Follow

That's because you spend all your nights listening to radio luxembourg

♒ let-the-sunshine-in Follow

i heard nothing last night so i built an antenna out of poultry net, iron wire and bits of tin. i cut my fingers and our family chickens ran away

☁️ ankin-vaimo Follow

A small price to pay for some music.

♒ let-the-sunshine-in Follow

the antenna fell apart before the german guy stopped talking

34 notes

🗣 ilovejohnlennon-deactivated19660729

me: chilling

my brain: if you were shot and weren't sure whether you'd live or die should you call the cops to make sure your murderer gets caught or call the ambulance to increase your chance of survival

me: what

🗣 elviskneesofficial-deactivated19631119

There should be a number that'd reach both of those

🕺 elvisherselvis Follow

That number already exists. It's been used in my city for like a two decades.

🏆 petebest-or-bust Follow

🕺 elvisherselvis Follow

Fuck you I'm British.

🪛 patrickwhoghton Follow

Oh my G, this post from -62 sounds so prophetic now that they're trying to make the 911 thing catch on, where's that jagger meme

🖖 spock-in-tardis Follow

🕺 elvisherselvis Follow

This is literally not gift of prophecy. I told you back when this post was first made that this number has already existed in UK for years. It was obviously going to spread elsewhere, even US was bound to catch on at some point.

🏆 petebest-or-bust Follow

you are still here?? keeping an eye on this post??

💋 marrymetwiggy Follow

you're so grumpy @elvisherselvis maybe you should phone the emergency number and get a wahhh-mbulance

98,9 t. notes

📼 bisexualbarbaradane Follow

my date: Oh I listen to folk as well!

me: That's so cool! Who are your favourites?

my date: I'm sooo into Bob Dylan.

me:

my date: Is everything okay?

me, stuffing jelly babies into my purse: I have to go, like, right now, immediately, sorry

#it's okay if you liked dylan before he became the judas he is #but you can't call yourself a folk fan if you still support him #ugghh i hate him #electric guitar using lil bitch #sigh #jelly baby meme #bob dylan critical // #anti bob dylan // #bob dylan hate //

2 notes

🛸 premisendgame Follow

Cock and balls, I'm watching this previously banned american film where an american man is trying to fuck a soviet spy (played by famously very russian Greta Garbo) by offering her champagne and he is like "have you never had champagne?" and Greta is like "never 🥺 only goat's milk and a ration of vodka in the army" and the tv screen freezed and was like "ERROR!! CHAMPAGNE HAS BEEN SERVED IN SOVIET UNION SINCE 1936" I'm 😂😂😂

🪐 stalincredible Follow

You Americans will say anything to make Soviet stuff look silly

🛸 premisendgame Follow

Where do you think I am watching soviet tv from?? Or did I miss the memo where americans have the monopoly on joking about their own damn country??

322 notes

🥁 ringoforpresident Follow

"In future there will be telephones you can take with you anywhere" I can't even fucking listen to Radio Luxembourg without building a goddamn satellite, sending it to space, reciting spells and prayers, and sticking the radio out of the window at 2am EET. And even then it needs to be snowing for it to work because the radio wave fairies like snow or some shit

♒ let-the-sunshine-in Follow

preach

540 notes

#this probably won't be very popular because some of these are very niche but i had fun #is the radio luxembourg station being impossible to listen to an universal experience?#i feel like older people in finland have a permanent chip on their shoulder because listening to it was so hard #there is a possibility ninotchka is doing a little time travel here; i remember this corrected version was shown at some point #but it may have been later #anyway just enjoy the ride #tumblr in the 60s #1960s #dashboard simulator #fake dashboard #60s #unreality

241 notes · View notes

eyesthecolorofarson · 11 months

Text

It’s a meme, Batman

Bruce never thought he would say this, but he regrets pushing Damian to make friends.

If he’d known all those years ago it would result in a media scandal that was practically a cosmic watergate, he would have kept Damian confined to the cave for the rest of his life. The worst part was that it was all harmless, just teenagers having fun on an improve show.

He’d gotten the link to the livestream through Oracle, who’d been laughing so hard he was worried she’d been injected with Joker venom. He got more worried when her laughter increased at the knowledge the whole family was in the cave. She insisted he play the livestream on the main computer, and like a fool, he’d trusted her and did just that.

It looked to be….the improve show Whose line is it, anyway? But the usual comedians, Ryan Stiles, Colin Morchie and Wayne Brady were sitting next to host Drew Carey and—Damian in his Robin uniform, Phantom, Superboy, Royal, Fireworks, and Wendigo. He heard the others laugh and ask the appropriate question ‘what the fuck is he doing??’ A question he himself was asking.

He took a step back to asses the situation; Royal, Dove Elopeman, was a metahuman born in Lapa, Rio Di Janiero who was apart of the new batch of superheroes. Royal had bronze skin a similar shade to Damian’s, with black wavy hair just below her shoulders and purple eyes. Royal was brought in fairly quickly after Martian Manhunter realized just how powerful her mind-control ability was, after he’d spent three months under her control, during which she found and took control of Khloé Kardashian and not only robbed her but blew up her house. She had a surprisingly pronounced figure for her age, 14, and used her body to get close to people and then take them down, usually incredibly violently. Royal showed no remorse for her incredible viciousness, due to her usual targets being sex traffickers and pedophiles.

Fireworks, Lydia Lippet, was a metahuman born in Perth, Scotland who has the odd ability to bring anything she draws to life. Fireworks was African with curly hair dyed baby blue styled in a side-parted bob, with metallic gold eyes. This ability was realized at a young age, but thankfully her parents didn’t use it for their own gain. Her parents raised her as if it was perfectly normal, and Fireworks did nothing too extreme with her powers until she was 13, when she brought a Pokémon into existence, the first time she brought something to life with her powers. This immediately made the Justice League aware of her existence, and once the JLD looked into her and went ballistic at the implications of what she was capable of, essentially forced them to bring her in as a new hero. Thankfully she was open to the idea, but unfortunately also expressed no remorse or sympathy for her actions.

Wendigo is the newest, and most unfortunate case. She had silver skin and was tall, about 6’9, and usually her hair was white but now for some reason it was hot pink. It was still incredibly long, almost touching her ankles, and her eyes were ultramarine blue. Research shows that before she was born the Native American tribe she was apart of went through a famine, in which many of her tribe resorted to cannibalism in order to survive. The reason her parents abandoned her deep in the Canadian forests is largely unknown, as is her parents location and names, but it is abundantly obvious they had committed cannibalism, which apparently caused a spirit of winter to latch onto her as a fetus and merge with her body and soul. That’s what the LJD concluded after a three-day long ‘study’ of her. This ‘study’ was concluded after Wendigo was rescued from Lexcorp, having mutilated and eaten over thirty of his men and injured Luthor himself. She didn’t speak, and only communicated with sounds and birdcalls, and, like the others, was violent without remorse.

Phantom was somehow the easiest to understand. He had light blue grey skin and pure white hair, as well as Lazarus green eyes, tongue, and blood. An Ohio resident, Danny Fenton was recruited after the Justice League investigated the Ghost Investigation Ward and the Anti-Ecto Acts, after it was found he was not only partially undead but also the only person capable of fighting against these world-ending threats without rascist-like judgement. Phantom was nervous about joining, mostly because of Deadman’s constant harassment about being ‘twinzies’ but agreed on the notion that his sister would get a full ride into any college she wanted. Phantom isn’t violent on purpose, but ends up being so due to him not knowing how to hold back.

Phantom was one stage with Damian, while the girls and Superboy were sitting with the host and other comedians. Everyone was laughing, and even Damian had a slight smirk on his face. Royal reached into the hat and pulled out a slip of paper, snorting and covering her mouth as she read the slip. “Batman….interrogating the Joker.” “Roll for an image!” Fireworks called, her accent thick as she pressed a button that caused the projector to roll through a variety of images before stopping on a very odd one that caused Tim to choke and Stephanie to begin roaring with laughter.

It was two over-sexualized wolf woman wearing skimpy clothes with different game logos with the words ‘Face it, you’d play with both of them’. Phantom leaned back and hovered in the air, laughing as Damian turned to fireworks with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t choose it, it’s just from the internet.” Fireworks drawled, taking a hit from her vape and blowing pink smoke out through her nose. Damian and Phantom stared at each other for a second before they both smirked, Phantom cracking his knuckles before leaning forward. At Drew Carey’s mark, the bit began.

Phantom and Damian stared at each other in silence for a second before Damian, in a perfect impression of Bruces voice, said “What is this.” Phantom, in the Jokers voice, replied “It’s a meme, Batman.” Immediately the crowd, and his children, were roaring with laughter. He could already feel the building dread. “I don’t understand.” Damian said in his voice. “What do you not understand?” Phantom replied in Jokers, somehow sounding tired of him at the same time.

“I don’t get the joke.” God, how was Damian making him sound exactly like him but also so pathetic at the same time? “Well, you see, people only usually play on one console.” Phantom held up a finger as he levitated in the air in a casual position, making the room(and his children)laugh again. He motioned to the picture. “But both these woman are so attractive, you’d wanna to play with both.” Phantom playfully stuck his tongue out at the end, to the humor of everyone.

“But they aren’t consouls.” Damian said in his voice. Phantom pulled out his phone and began pretending to text. The crowd and his kids laughed again. “The shirts their wearing have the consul logos on the—“ “What are you, some kind of furry?” Oh god how did he learn that? Another part of his brain knew that realistically it wasn’t that outlandish, but it felt like just yesterday he was eight and had brought home a cat he’d named after Alfred.

“You’re the one here wearing an animal costume.” Phantom still sounded judgmental, and for a second it was silent before Damian grabbed him and slammed his head into the wall. The crowd and his kids laughed again, and Drew Carey called scene. He looked back at his kids. Dick, Tim, Duke and Stephanie were sitting and roaring with laughter. Cass was kneeling down and trying to help Jason, who was curled into a ball on the ground and crying with laughter.

“I think the best part about this….” Drew started, but stopped to laugh again before continuing, “I think the best part about this is the implication that Batman knows enough about internet lingo to know what a furry is, but not enough to understand memes.” Damian nodded at him. “That is a true statement.” The crowd, and his kids, laughed again. He felt the dread grow at Phantoms motion for silence.

“I’ve had this one saved in my note app the day the interview was shared.” He grinned, before clearing his throat and speaking in Jokers voice. “You know, my father….”

Jason gasped and sat up, whispering in joyful disbelief, “oh my god.”

“…..was a gamer.”

Everyone began laughing so hard he almost couldn’t hear his brain imploding. Jason was choking on his tears, Colin Mochrie had his head on the table, Wendigo was looking around from her seat like a confused puppy. “….And a weeb.” Jason fell back and Cass was hovering, unsure if he was actually in pain or not. Dick dropped down to help, but he was also laughing so hard he was falling over.

“And one night….he got gassed up on his G-fuel CRAZIER than usual….” Fireworks began slamming her fist on the table, wheezing with excitement and leaning again Superboy, who was coughing on his laughter. “Mommy grabs the Wi-Fi to defend herself. He doesn’t like that….” He leans forward, grinning like a Cheshire Cat. “Not…..one……bit.”

“So….” Phantom almost broke character at Wayne Brady saying ‘I’m crying’ in a choked voice. “He takes out his phone and turns on his 4G.” Phantom was leaning forward so much Damian had to lean back. “He turns off the Wi-Fi on his PC and connects to his phone….” He leaned forward again, making Damian lean back even more. “….laughing while he does it.”

“My mother can’t stand the sight of him!” Jason and Dick were now laying next to each other, Cass making very worried hand motions. Stephanie was making calls and spreading the word of this live-stream. Duke looked dead. Tim was calling Conner to inform him of his little brothers whereabouts, also crying.

“She just wants to have dinner….TOGETHER….and not have him have KFC in his room anymore!” The crowd is roaring with laughter. Wendigo was chirping worryingly at Superboy, who was crying like Royal and Fireworks. Phantom watches the crowd laugh. “They eventually get a divorce.” This causes everyone to begin laughing again. Bruce felt like dying as his phone begins to ring, the caller ID telling him it was Barry Allen.

#danny phantom au #dp x dc au #original character #really spur of the moment thing #Also sorta helping me with character design #damian wayne #jon kent #danny fenton #danny phantom

262 notes · View notes

shiroikabocha · 4 months

Text

Tagged by @missr3n3 , got me feeling nostalgic for those old LJ tagging memes from the early 2000s

Rules: tag 10 or more people (or fewer or none, I’m not your mom) you’d like to get to know better and answer these questions about yourself

Relationship status: married??!? I’m still surprised about it too

Favorite color: don’t have one exactly, but I like a lot of greens

Song stuck in head: hehehehehe Animals by Maroon 5 because wife and I were making jokes about it (baby you think that yOU CAN HIDe i can smell your scENT FOR miles—babe u stinky pls respond???)

Favorite food: extremely tough to choose! Probably some combination of fruit, cheese, and bread (i.e. an unspeakable mutant quesadilla filled diced apples)

(mmm I think I know what I’m making for lunch now…)

Last song heard: uhhhh does my wife badly singing Animals count

Dream trip: I have no experience in wildlife tracking and I know the Yellowstone wolf-watchers are a pretty dedicated community, so it’s not like I’d even be able to do this without a lot more free time and money to commit to it, BUT. I want to spend an off-season in Yellowstone and Grand Teton observing the wolves. I don’t even know how to use a spotting scope but I want to go soooo baaaaad

Last thing searched: info on HHC edible. Apparently it’s supposed to be “very mild” and about half as psychoactive as delta-8, which is itself about half as psychoactive as original flavor THC, but my wife’s anecdotal evidence (several couchbound hours enraptured by Bob Ross) indicates otherwise

I guess I’ll tag, uh, @frickelfrackatictac ? @hmantegazzi ? @ladyattercop ? @ghostly-blackbird ? @miltonlibassistantn1fan ? @taylachan (hbd!) @scumtrout ? @sawbloopers2004 ? I don’t know a ton of people on here, do the thing if the spirit moves you

#tagging game

54 notes · View notes

philliamwrites · 2 years

Text

pairing: Eren x fem! Reader x Armin

warnings: ‼️18 +, minors do NOT interact‼️, threesome, penetrative vaginal sex, unprotected sex, creampie, oral sex (fem. receiving), aftercare, name calling (baby, cum bucket like once but affectionately because it’s eren)

a/n: reuploading because tumblr is mean to me again. the sequel to this one, but ngl unfortunately not as good bcs i let too much time pass. i’ll do better next time! enjoy!

Eren is a great friend.

Sure, sometimes he forgets birthdays and asks about things people have told him multiple times already. Memes are his love language, and he’s still waiting for Historia to unblock his number after his response to her almost breaking up with Ymir was ‘That’s so sad, Alexa play Despacito.’

Yet still, Eren is a great friend, because he’s known Armin has had a crush on you since forever, and to you, Armin is one of your most favourite people—right after him of course—so naturally, Eren has always encouraged you to dive into your little fantasies. Everyone assumes Eren is possessive and yes, he is, but he is also very, very much in love with you (he’s a true simp, what can he say) and if what you need to be fucked dumb is Armin involved, who is Eren to say No. That is what makes him the best partner.

What makes him a great friend is that he knows Armin is still a virgin, and it’s finally time to change that.

“First time for everyone,” Eren says, patting your quivering knee affectionately. When you throw him a mean, tear-glazed glare, he digs his nails into your warm thigh. “Makes it less scary, doesn’t it?”

“Shut,” you say, lifting your hips, fingers clawing at Armin’s shoulders. His cock drags along your tight walls, catches at your tight rim that milks his tip before you slide back down until he’s balls deep inside you. “Up.”

Eren takes a quick glance at Armin to see if he’s sharing your attitude, but he’s on cloud nine, his expression one of pure bliss: eyes squeezed shut, his round cheeks flushed red like ripe apples. A tiny drop of sweat runs down his temple and Eren feels the overwhelming urge to lean over and lick it up.

“How’s she doing, Armin?” he purrs, allowing his broad hand to wander up Armin’s shaking thighs. His fingers graze Armin’s heavy, tight balls, and the light touch has Armin throw back his head, throat bobbing as he swallows. “She treating you well?”

“’S so .. so good.” Heart eyes trailing over your face, Armin’s hands scramble for purchase on your tits, your thighs, your ass. He’s so overwhelmed, the feeling of his sensitive shaft being engulfed by tight, wet, pulsing walls is better than he could have ever imagined. It’s like you’re trying desperately to milk him for all he’s worth, to hold his dick captive within the confines of your velvety, warm insides.

“Yeah, yeah she’s always doing so good.” Eren’s pats your knee and gives your shoulder a wet, open-mouthed kiss. “Could put a little more work into it though. Don’t start slacking off now, babe.” He digs his fingers into your soft skin, eyes glued to where you’re connected to Armin.

You level him with a glare, one that does a poor job delivering your annoyance with him because it’s difficult to keep your eyes from rolling to the back of your head whenever Armin’s leaking tip presses a hard kiss against your cervix. He’s by no means as big as Eren, but for someone who’s never had sex before, he makes it up with desperate roles of his hips, little sharp thrusts that are unrelenting in their pursuit to make you drown in pleasure.

Especially now that his blunt tip is constantly grazing the bundle of nerves inside you, it’s hard to focus on anything despite the jolts it sends up your spine, the core of pleasure just below your belly growing tighter and tighter.

You try to find hold around Armin’s shoulders, your mouth hanging wide open. Armin is wearing a mirror expression of your own, looking unfairly adorable with the drool sticking to the corners of his beautiful, kiss-swollen mouth.

Lost in the thought of how pretty he is, so adorable that you simply want to devour him, your tempo falters, the sound of skin slapping against skin growing quiet as your hips take a break and you lean forward to drink up all the pretty moans and groans Armin grants you from his lips.

A warm chest presses against your back. Eren nips at your neck, teeth grazing the soft, heated skin. “Look at him, Armin’s so fucked out because of you,” he mumbles, voice deep and throaty and sweet like honey. His broad hands grip your waist, fingers digging painfully into your skin. “But don’t you stop now, you hear,” he demands, lifting you up only to slam you back down, getting split open by Armin’s dick. You throw your head back, stars exploding behind your closed eyes. His lips pressed against the shell of your ear, Eren’s voice sounds strained. “You’re not done yet, baby. You gotta make him cum. You gotta make him cum for the first time inside a pussy.”

Armin shakes under you, the pleasure overwhelming and too much. Everything he’s ever dreamt of is right in front of his eyes, so close and ready to touch. He lets Eren move you on top of him as he pleases, allows his own curious hands to roam your supple body, digs his fingers into wherever your soft skin gives under his touch. They find your tits, your perked nipples and his mouth waters, he needs them in his mouth, he needs to give them kitten-licks and love-bites since there are no words in this world that will suffice to convey how much he loves you, your body, your mind, so all that is left for him to do is let his actions speak, repay your kindness by making you feel good.

If Armin can make you cum, he can die a happy man.

That thought alone, that the pleasure you receive is his doing, that the cock currently stirring up your insides is his, shoots an electric bolt of pleasure through him that makes his toes curl against the mattress.

“I—I’m so close,” he whines, and hopes Eren understands what he’s beginning for; hopes you will finally give him the sweet, sweet release he’s been craving for ever since he’s heard Eren fuck you in the other room two days ago.

“You hear? He’s close.” Eren holds your hips still as Armin thrusts his up in a vicious pace, eyes shut tightly, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes as he batters into your sensitive, swollen cunt. “He’s so close, you can’t leave him hanging, okay? You’ll take everything he gives you, okay? Make him cum, make Armin cum inside you.”

Eren’s demand has your back arching, Armin crying out desperately. You’re barely aware that you’re mumbling incoherent sentences, jumbled words that first say “Hmm no, not inside” first, and then at the slightest change of angle of Armin’s dick, you plead “I want you so bad, Armin, please fill me up.”

Armin’s grip on you is painful, desperate. “I—I shouldn’t,” he whimpers, but he doesn’t slow down, keeps hammering his weeping dick inside your cunt.

“Yes. Do it.” You barely recognise Eren’s voice, so full of lust, desire, desperation. His dick, hard and hot, slides against your ass in short, quick thrusts. “She loves it. Loves being a cum bucket.”

You groan. Or Armin groans. Or maybe it is Eren, or all three of you at the same time. Your hands scramble to hold onto something, find Armin’s waiting and you entangle them, holding tight onto each other as you’re about to come undone.

“But you have to ask her properly, Amin,” Eren continues, hooking his chin over your shoulder to watch Armin’s face drunk with pleasure. “Come on, ask her.”

Armin’s beautiful baby blue eyes rivet on you. His tongue darts out and you watch with fascination how it swipes over his bottom lip, leaving a wet, glossy trail. “C-can I cum inside you? P-please.”

“Yes! Yes, please, please, please do it. Cum inside me, Armin.”

He doesn’t need to be told twice. His whole body shakes when he feels you squirm, beg, demand for him—it’s all too much too quick. The well of pleasure quickly builds inside him. Head swelling, he feels his cock grow more sensitive quick, pulse by pulse, thrust by eager thrust, his tight grip onto your hands erratic and needy, all he can do is whine and whimper as his thickening length pumps a last few times into you before settling deep, followed quickly by burst after burst of spreading heat in his stomach, able to follow its trail from his tensing balls past your thoroughly-fucked entrance, then jetting deep in your guts.

Eren yanks your hips down, not allowing a single drop to spill as your whole body shakes; legs quiver, toes cramp up, pussy pulsing and milking Armin so hard you curl over him, squeezing your eyes shut tightly as overwhelming torrents of pleasure wreck your body.

Your hips still rock gently against him, your pussy his home now, and you entangle your fingers from his only to lift them and wipe the tears from his soft cheeks, to kiss him and tell him what a great job he did and “Thank you, thank you, you were so great.”

Something inside Eren’s heart swells at the sight of it, his best friend and you together and so soft with each other. His arm circles around your waist, lifts you and he grins cheekily at the little surprised yelp from you when he quickly jams two fingers inside you to stop Armin’s cum from leaking out.

“Why so surprised?” He laughs, turning you around so your back is pressed against Armin’s rapidly rising and falling chest. He manhandles you so easily as if you are nothing but a ragdoll and alignes your swollen, still sensitive entrance once more with Armin’s slick-glistening, soft shaft.

“E-Eren, wait,” Armin protests weakly, throwing his head back and swallowing another grunt as Eren pushes his spent, overstimulated dick back inside your warm folds, now drenched in his cum.

“She can give us one more,” Eren says, and the way he talks about you as if you’re not there, as if you don’t have any say in how much they can use you makes your walls clench once more. Armin curses, his hands finding your bruise-littered hips but he doesn’t make a move to pull you off.

Eren leans over your shoulder, pressing his forehead against Armin’s. “You were so good,” he mumbles, bumping their noses against each other. He gives Armin a slow, intense kiss, all tongue and teeth but with no hurry at all. “Good boy.”

Armin’s face, where it presses right against the side of yours, grows hot. You can feel his dick give a weak twitch inside you.

He is so putty in Eren’s hands, allowing him to move one of his hands to your ass, spreading one cheek slightly, the other circles around the hook of your right knee, lifting it up until it’s pressed against your tit, giving Eren a full view of Armin and you connected, your swollen pussy stretching around him.

“And you,” he finally says to you, kissing your cheek, your jaw, your chin. “Did such a great job as well, making Armin feel good.” Eren leans away from you, looking down at your stretched pussy. He gives his dick, still hard and an angry red, a few quick, desperate pumps, shuffling closer against you until he can tap the blunt, leaking tip of his cock against your clit.

“Think we can both fit?”

Your body reacts in an instant, clenching hard around Armin. He tightens his hold around you, groaning.

“Maybe next time,” Eren continues, eyes glued to your cunt mouthing at Armin, still milking him, demanding more more more, “next time when Armin fucks you, I’ll bully my fingers inside you. Train you to take two cocks at some point.”

He drags his cock over your wet pussy a few more times, allows his tip to press gently against your hole. Eren can already feel it, how easily his cock would pop inside you, your cunt tugging his ridge, so thirsty for him, how amazing it would feel to be pressed right against your walls and Armin’s dick.

Eren bends over and sticks his tongue out, flat, so your hips roll your pussy right against him, making your clit hump his tongue, dragging it sharply over it. Your legs involuntarily squirm, kicking lightly nowhere and your toes trying to curl onto anything they could. Your fingers rake through his hair, pull and tug because you need him closer.

Eren jerks himself off while you get off on his tongue for a second orgasm, tight walls imprisoning and holding Armin’s dick like a vice as he whines at the overstimulation, fingernails dragging over the back of your thigh.

Quickly, Eren rises and smashes his mouth against yours where you taste him, yourself, Armin, making it so messy because he whispers “I love you, I love,” while trying to shove his tongue inside your mouth. He cums all over your pussy, presses his pulsing, jerking tip right against your hole right next to Armin’s shaft so his cum mixes with Armin’s inside you.

A moment of rest settles over the room. You catch your breaths, allow your lust-fogged minds to return to the present. Eren pushes himself off you, helps you lift your exhausted body off Armin and you all three watch in fascination the pool of cum leaking from your used hole.

Eren whistles. Armin cries out like a hurt animal and dives for the box of tissues on your nightstand, hurrying to clean you up. “Sorry, oh God, I’m so so sorry, I—I didn’t mean to—” Though he really did. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Armin, it’s fine,” you say, flopping into your back and ready to dose off for a couple minutes. “It felt amazing, really. I wanted it.”

His eyes catch yours for a second before they return to the task at hand and you feel goosebumps rise up your arms at how gently he opens your legs to clean you. “Okay,” he says so quietly you almost don’t hear him, “I’ll give you more next time.”

Heat crawls up your face. “Next time?”

You look over at Eren who’s leaning against the wall, already reaching for his phone to fulfil his promise at the beginning of all this and order some pizza. He wiggles his eyebrows and makes grabby hands at you, grinning. “Next time.”

757 notes · View notes

captainnait · 1 month

Text

Well, I'm in my peak of Headrush fixation, so. . . Yeah, first two references of characters from it, the main ones, of course - Bob and Baby Diva 💥

Below are headcanons for the two of them (and also a silly meme ig) woooo:

• They're cousins! Not too close, but know each other pretty well. Bob used to babysit Diva quite a lot before he moved to other state.

• They are almost the exact same height (Baby Diva is a few centimeters taller than Bob. She teases him about it sometimes)

• Share a lot of jewelry and accessories with each other. (bracelets, hair pins, glasses - all that stuff)

• Baby Diva made herself and Bob named/friendship bracelets back when she was very little. She still wears hers sometimes. (Bob too, he just doesn't wear much jewelry outside of home,,)

• Watched and rewatched Sailor Moon lots of times together. (Bob forced Baby Diva to 💥)

• Both are very talented musically - Diva is a great singer and Bob plays drums in his band.

• Baby Diva doesn't have license and Bob has to pick her up sometimes, which is pretty embarrassing to her,,

Aaaand that's it. For now. 💥

#guys. guys im just so normal about headrush i swear.#ydkj #jackbox #you don't know jack #bob headrush #baby diva #ydkj fanart #ydkj headrush

22 notes · View notes

b-ritney · 1 year

Text

My Favorites Fics

This is going to be an ever expanding list that I will edit from time to time, I have almost 400 liked stories though so it will take me a while to get through everything!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't be offended if a story you wrote doesn't come up on the list I promise I don't mean to leave anyone out I LOVE all the stories I've liked and the writers, and I tell my IRL friends about your writing ALL the time!

I will write next to each thing what it is :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Take The Edge Off by @ohcaptainstains : SMUT

This is soooo good it's one of the first fics I read when I got really into this community and I was immediately hooked.

Aftercare by @dazed-nymphsss : FLUFF but mentions smut

Another really sweet one I read at the beginning of my obsession, I read it while I was overnight dog-sitting for my grandma's neighbor and I just remember the dog giving me the weirdest looks when I was giggling and kicking my feet.

Gentle With Me by @swingsuckerswing: SMUT

Reminds me of a movie I just can't figure out which one though.... I just love how Eddie is so sweet about the whole first-time thing.

he's gentle when he wants to be by @munsonussy: SMUT

LITERALLY, I DIED "Is it okay if I touch you baby, or not yet?" SUCH A GENTLEMAN AHHHHH

something extra by @luveline: SMUT

It's the way he so sexily explains what he's gonna do to the reader and asks if it's ok and everything, we love a respectful man UGH actually though it is so so so so good.

Eddie loves on anxious reader drabble by @bambimunson: FLUFF

As someone who struggles with an anxiety disorder this type of love and affection would make me want to hold onto that person and never let them go sooooo sweet!

Shy! reader joins hellfire by @luveline: FLUFF

THE ENDING BRUH I kid you not I cried, having a friend like Eddie would be so special. Who gave him the right to be this charming and adorable!

Aftercare w/ Eddie by @silkscream: FLUFF with mentions of smut

I'm a fool for the giggly, loving afterglow when nothing else matters but the 2 of you. This is *chefs kiss*

Right Here by @upsidedownwithsteve: Fluff but with *sMuTtY sPicE*

Shit you not I probably come back and read this at least once a week... I think I'm jealous of the reader lmao, The shotgunning is... *bites knuckle* so so so so sexy.

Eddie holds your hand while he eats you out by @manicpixiedreamcurl: SMUT

If one day someone ever loves me for real, they better hold my hand like this.

Systematic Oppression by @fierce-writer Guns n Roses Meme

They would absolutely do that, also LOVE your profile pic Myles and Slash kick ASS!

Period Sex w/ Eddie by @ddejavvu: SMUT

Some people are just lucky I guess UGH we love a bf how doesn't mind getting a little messy haha seriously though Im in love with this lmao

Size kink with Billy Hargrove by @tommydarlings: SMUT

I love the whole thing but the NSFW part *bites knuckles again* my intimidation kink is really making itself known rn lmao

Bi-Billy I'm Nervous by @smolkiwi98 : SMUT

I resonated with this one so much, my virgin ass still goes crazy re-reading this all the damn time. The reader just sounded so much like me lmao but LIKE when he's still a little mean when she tenses up HEHEHEHE I'm a SLUT for that shit.

FACESITTING W/ EDDIE by @forourmoons: SMUT

I'm what society considers plus size sooo I've always been hesitant to even indulge myself in this topic, but HOLY SHIT, this fic is so cute and encouraging, while also being nasty af. Like me LMAO JK JK

Baby, Kiss Me Quick by @upsidedownwithsteve: SMUT

Call me sweetheart again I dare you! ..... no seriously like call me sweetheart again hehehehehehe (Have you ever heard sponge bob say "I loOOVVEE ITTTT" bc that's what I sound like rn.)

Ice Cube request by @sunflowersteves: SMUT

Listen.... don't knock it till you try it, that's all I'm gonna say. LMAO seriously though this is again *chefs kiss* (PLZ DON'T TRY THIS UNLESS YOU'VE TALKED TO LIKE A DOCTOR OR SOMETHING, just keep the ice on the outside unless you know what your doing...)

Stick & Poke by @idkmanijustwannawrite SMUT

I'm just jealous of the reader honestly, I'm a whore for that shit, also is it weird that I like the feeling of being tattooed... the whole experience is like a challenge to see if you can take it or not... OMG I just learned something about myself LMAO

camera shy by @bowerquinn SMUT

excuse me while I *swallow my whole fist* it stayed up until 2am reading this one a while back.

Babysitter x Steve by @mypoisonedvine: SMUT

This was like a gateway drug for me into the universe of STEDDIE X BABYSITTER fics which is currently my all-time favorite trope. It's so good omfg.

Angst writer Meme by @thedialup

Lol the cheeky little smile on the stick figures face is accurate as hell too, they know they are channeling all that internal rage and turmoil into a masterpiece lmao.

The "Yes" Policy by @pinkrelish Mix of Fluff/SMUT/angst kind of

This series has 7 PARTS as of right now, when I tell you it's good it's fucking GOOD, the way the tension slowly builds between the reader and Eddie is so... for lack of a better term *tAntAliZinG* I LOVE IT.

Boys On Film by @corrodedcorpses SMUT

This writer... y'all this writer, she is F.A.N.T.A.S.T.I.C this is also a series that is so FUCKING good.

June Baby by @luveline Mix fluff/angst/ idk about smut I haven't finished the series yet.

Ok, so this series consistently made me cry in the best way. Something about Eddie just being so good to this young single mom made me emotional, so so amazing.

Soft Sex with Eddie by @wroteclassicaly SMUT

This makes me involuntarily shake.. like a constant state of anticipation the intimacy is OFF THE CHARTS. I loVe iT

Rumour by @msgexymunson SMUT

This..... I don't even know where to start.. not only has this series been giving me actual life the last few weeks but I JUST KEEP COMING BACK TO IT... listen, the dick piercing? masterstroke my friend, well done. take a bow honestly. *clap* *clap* *clap*

Love Me Deep by @tastefulstars SMUT

These men have a choke hold on me right now... why is it that the idea of being helpless between them turns me on so much lmao. Maybe it's like the unintentionally filthy, dirty talk they do, idk lol.

The Sheep by @newlips SMUT

It's the tattoo's for me *drooling*

Shy reader x Rockstar Eddie! by @lucasnclair FLUFF

The cutest... this is basically what I want from my future rockstar husband. I will come back and thank this writer when I print this story and hand it to my husband as a BLUEPRINT lmao (don't worry I'll make sure I credit you haha)

Paparazzi by @tiannasfanfic FLUFF/ SMUT/ ANGST

I apologize for the language but good FUCKING god this fic made me feel all the emotions. This writer's talent is unbelievable! I will say I love how you made Eddie's publicity wife the actual baddest bitch ever, we love a powerful woman who helps those in need.

How They Comfort You by @dazed-nymphsss FLUFF with some innuendo

Love the whole thing but when Billy says, "You wanna go for a ride?" THE FACT THAT HE LITERALLY HAS NO POSITIVE EXAMPLES IN HIS LIFE AND HE IS STILL DOING THE BEST HE CAN FOR HIS PARTNER MAKES ME FERAL

Taking Steve and Eddie At The Same Time... by @indulgentlyinclined SMUT

The way this kept me up at night for 3 days straight. I- am drooling

Steddie X babysitter by @imjuststeddietrashatthispoint SMUT

I could go on for FUCKING WEEKS about this currently 2 PART series.... It is my current obsession and the topic of every conversation I have with my irl friend I read fics with... I almost stayed awake through the night when I stumbled on this one... like I was giggling so much I had to keep stopping and starting lol... literally so good.

Pretty Sounds by @eddiethefreakkmunson SMUT

Can you imagine if this was reality though... Axl Rose is on his fucking knees, Eddie would be his god.

Sitting on Eddie's Amp by @corrodedcherry SMUT

Thank you for giving yet another reason to love dirty ass rockstars... I've been perched on top of a live amp before lmao.... listen... like I said before, DONT KNOCK IT TILL YOU TRY IT

Eddie's rings while he eats you out by @niceboyeds and @munsonology SMUT

But can you imagine though UGH

Inked Eddie x reader x steve by @muertawrites SMUT

Again with the tattoo thing, I LOVE the feeling of being tattooed so I don't relate to the reader's physical pain BUT BUT BUT I can relate to wanting to be in her exact position every time I read this fic, AHHH the jealousy is TOO REAL lol

Approved by @writingdumpster SMUT

I can't wait to make my parents this angry lmao, this is soooo *spIcY*

As You Wish by @corroded-hellfire SMUT

I'm biting my knuckles again seriously like this is sooo damn hot. Thank you for giving me life with another Babysitter fic UGH

weekend storm by @wroteclassicaly SMUT

You're a wizard Harry, seriously this is *MaGic*

Enjolras eats mad revolutionary pussy by @ceriseheaven SMUT

When I tell you I showed this to everyone... *bites knuckles* the part with the corset... you're a GENIUS! also..... THE FRENCH

I'm In Control by @justmeinadaze SMUT SMUT SMUT

Every time you update I giggle with excitement. This series blows my mind in the best way ugh

Helping Hands by @daddyreid SMUT

The way this has invaded my thoughts every day since the first time I read it... round of applause for this author.

Easy Like A Sunday Afternoon by @newlips SMUT

My friend and I read this together during the intermissions of a hockey game and we both screamed at the part where he protects her head WE LOVE A THOUGHTFUL CARING MAN!

Baby, as if by @carolmunson SMUT SMUT SMUT

OK be warned if you are not into dark toxic mean Eddie then you might want to be very cautious, but FOR ME.... my panties evaporated LMAO are we okay?! hahaha

Perv Eddie Eats Your Puss while you sleep by @corrodedcherry SMUT

... imagine having like a sexy dream and then waking up and it's for real happening ummmm.... hehehehe (consensual of course)

Eddie spits on your pussy by @ceriseheaven

Take a bow queen bc this is a masterpiece, when he, "need another taste baby, you'll give it to me?" LMAO my mom goes "Why the fuck are you screaming." This is absolutely one I'll come back too, I'm sending this to the girly group chat as we speak.

226 notes · View notes

bobparkhurst · 9 months

Text

🎶 9 ship songs 🎶

rules: list 9 songs for one (or more) of your ships. optionally, tag 9 people.

tagged by @almost-a-class-act whomst I shall repay by ALSO choosing webgott songs. And this is wildly swinging between mood, genre and perspective. But isn't that just Webgott all over.

New Rose, The Damned

2. Walk It With You, Bella Hardy

3. Take Me to War, The Crane Wives

4. Danger! High Voltage, Electric Six

5. Grace Too, The Tragically Hip

6. No Children, The Mountain Goats

7. Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've) - The Buzzcocks

8. Costume Party, from the Covers from Away album of Come from Away songs

9. As We Go Along, The Monkees

#webgott #i will take no questions at this time #bob: meme time baby #almost-a-class-act

8 notes · View notes

xhoneygirlxx · 9 months

Text

i just know that eddie would ruin so many jokes/memes because of how often he'd say them. it would be so bad that you'd have to stop yourself from ripping your hair out with how much annoyance it caused you.

you're lying on your back, the comfort of his mattress pressing into you. eddie is hovering over you, wedged between your legs, as the two of you makeout.

little gasps and moans fill the room, he's grinding into, making you pant even harder. against your wishes, he moves away from your mouth, trailing small kisses down the side of your neck and up to your ear.

removing his mouth from your skin, his mouth is right next to your ear and you can hear and feel him breathing heavily.

"baby," his voice is husky and dripping with desire. after you answer with a small hmm, he goes to talk again. "do you want to know what i think?"

pulling his face back, he's now looking down at you. a millisecond of silence goes by and he's grinning down at you playfully.

"i think," before you know it, he's shouting "LIFE IS ROBLOX."

making the both of you fall into fits of giggles.

it goes on like that for weeks, him saying random dj khalid quotes every time you try to have a conversation. at first it's funny, always making you burst into laughter. but after so many times it genuinely starts becoming blood boiling.

the two of you are in the middle of target, you're crouched down reading the labels between two different face cleansers. your first mistake was leaving your guard down, the second mistake was taking your boyfriend to the store with you. before you know it, Eddie is shouting at the top of his lungs.

"LETS GO SHOPPIN. LETS GO SHOPPIN."

the minute it leaves his lips you drop both bottles and scurry out of the aisle with your basket. when he finally catches up to you at the self checkout, he's laughing so hard he's crying. you're not though, you can feel the burning sensation of embarrassment all through your body as other shoppers stare at the man who caused a disturbance.

it doesn't stop there though, oh no.

you're out at dinner, it's a fancier restaurant, with the rest of the gang. everything is going well, a bottle of wine has been ordered for the table, fancy little appetizers being shared between all of you, when the waiter comes over to take everyone's orders.

you should've known what was coming, really you should've but when you realized what was about to happen it was too late.

the middle age man wearing a white button down shirt and black slacks, stands next to eddie asking him what he would like. it seems like your boyfriend just couldn't help himself because he's shouting out,

"TELL THEM TO BRING OUT THE WHOLE OCEAN!"

immediately you cringe, hiding your face behind your hand as you sink lower into your seat. although you and other patrons don't particularly find it funny, some of the group can't help but find it amusing.

all you want to do is cry when you see the poor waiter's face, scrunched up in confusion, trying to understand whatever joke it is that eddie just said. finally after the most awkward ten seconds of your life, the boy next to you finally has the common sense to order what he really wants at a normal volume.

it's all the time that he does these things. you ask him what he wants to do for the day and he's responding with,

"LETS GO GOLFING."

you're sitting on the couch on a zoom call since it had been a work from home day. while you're trying to talk to everyone in the meeting, eddie walks out of your spare bedroom with his acoustic guitar. he starts playing atrociously like dj khalid did after receiving Bob Marley's guitar. to make matters worse, he can be seen in the background with the way you're sitting. he knows this since he placed the guitar down and starts dancing the same way the celebrity did in multiple videos.

it's exhausting and honestly it's starting to piss you off to no end.

you're in the car with him when you finally break, yelling at him that it's not funny anymore. he's quiet, letting you rip him a new asshole. when you're finally done, all the pent up rage leaving your body, all that can be heard is your hard breathing.

finally, finally you had some peace and silence in the car. you couldn't get too used to it though because before you know it, he's saying something else.

"LETS GO TO THE BEACH! LETS GO SWIMMIN' !"

after that day he seems to quit with all the stupid quotes, giving you a sigh of relief. what you don't realize is that you defeated one beast and woke up another.

one morning you ask him if he can take a look at your car, see what's causing it to make that weird noise. you can't help but feel your heart sink when he answers you.

"i would love to babe, but i'm just ken."

for the next month that's how he's answering all your questions and every shopping trip is stopped short the minute he breaks out into song and dance, singing the popular song from the movie at the top of his lungs.

idk i was just thinkin thoughts

#eddie munson fluff #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson fic #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie would be such a menace #he's just in a silly goofy mood :)

129 notes · View notes

babiebom · 9 months

Text

Dbd Killers as Nicknames my friends and I use in game

A/N: because i think. I only have like one thing posted for dbd. These are the Male Killers!

Tw:maybe cursing? None? Slight sexualization of certain killers?

Genre:headcanons? Or written like headcanons at least

Wc: maybe 3+ for each killer?

The Trapper/Evan Macmillan

Has no nickname

Is just "the trapper"

Always said in a panic tho

Is usually called a "stupid stupid man"

The Clown/Jeffrey Hawk

"Oh it's *imitation of him coughing*"

His nickname is just us coughing in gross ways

Also "you absolute baboon" by when we're upset

The Ghostface/Danny "Jed Olsen" Johnson

My boyfriend

I exclusively call him this

Everyone else says "oh no your boyfriend is here"

Or we call him Ghost-a Fa-che in really bad italian accents

The Executioner/Pyramid Head

Conehead

Forgot the word pyramid

Also trianglehead

Usually proceeded or followed by "ewwwwww why is he sludging up the place????"

The Twins/Victor Deshayes

Ugly little baby

We forgot that he is not really a baby

We also call him Viktor Vector

Usually followed by "kill her little baby"

Or "stomp on himmmmm"

Then "yeah that's what you get you ugly baby"

The Mastermind/Albert Wesker

Lil Kitty Meow Meow

Bc I accidentally called him whisker

And that reminded me of the Lil kitty meow meow meme

Is usually followed by his "urgh" when he does the dashy thing

The Nemesis/Nemesis

Nemesussy

It was a slip of the tongue that stuck

I also call him Thanos half the time

I forget his name and panic

Then call him Thanos because big purple man

Usually proceeded by "oh god it's Thanos I can see his stupid little zombies"

The Doctor/Herman Carter

Has no nickname but is usually called out by saying "sorry I can't talk right now he's ELECTROCUTING ME"

followed by imitations of his laugh

The Legion/Frank&Joey

I do not know how to write this

It's literally just The Legion but pronounced with a very bad French accent

Also Franklin or Frankie-boy

And Josepher and "which one is this one again"

The Trickster/Jiwoon Hak

We either call him Trickster

Or Jungkook from Bts(yes this whole thing)

Is usually followed by "bob and weave and bob and weave"

Or is followed by "please dont kamsahamnida me"

The Wraith/ Phillip Ojomo

Bing Bong

Because when he hits his little thing it goes Bing Bong

Usually proceeded by "oh god" and "please don't be bingbong"

Usually followed by "oh god where did he go"

The Hillbilly/ Max Thompson Jr

We just call him by Max

I usually call him Maxie-poo

Cute

The Cannibal/ Bubba Sawyer

Like Max we just call Bubba by Bubba

Bubba is a cute nickname in of itself

The Oni/Kazan Yamaoka

Onigiri

Because I said "Oni? Like onigiri?"

Followed by screaming or "someone stop him he's eating my blood"

The Deathslinger/Caleb Quinn

Rootie tootie mcshooty shooty

Because it's funny

Also sometimes call him the hashslinger

Or hashslinging slashed

From spongebob because we again forgot his name

The Shape/Michael Myers

Miku Miku

Because I panicked when I saw him and could not speak or remember his name for the life of me

Usually followed by "oh god this is gonna be a bad match"

Also followed by singing the song but only by saying Bing and bong.

The Nightmare/Freddy Kreuger

"Ew its stupid what's his face....sleepytime....nightnight"

Has no real nickname because we're not happy to see him

"Why is there blood coming out of this...oh."

"Haha your neck is bent weird"

The Blight/Talbot Grimes

Incoherent screaming

Literally it's "uhhhh HA HUHHHH WHA HELP"

Followed by "why is he so fast?"

Or is called speedy Gonzales or Sonic

The Knight/Tarhos Kovács

I have accidentally called him the borgo

We also just call him the knight or just scream

The Cenobite/Elliot Spencer

Pinhead

I find it funny that that is an actual name for him

Because we usually call him that

The Demogorgon(?)

Or "stupid pinhead" but you get the gist

Also BabyBox

Bad doggie

He is a dog that is bad because he keeps biting me with his weird little face

The Dredge(?)

Is this thing a male? Idk but it counts

Again we are bad at remembering names

Half the time he is called the sludge

Usually followed by "why is it nighttime"

#dead by daylight #dead by daylight killer #dead by daylight headcanons #dbd shitpost #dbd headcanons #dbd killer #dbd #dbd ghostface #dbd doctor #dbd wraith #dbd wesker #dead by daylight shitpost #dbd male killers #dead by daylight male killers #slashers #slasher headcanons

51 notes · View notes

mildlylesbian · 8 months

Note

nes if you give me links to the rtgames lore videos and reblog out of touuch rthursday another hundred times i will binge every single piece of the lore

OK SO, here's all the lore, references, and memes I could gather:

Out of Touch Thursday (the reason we're here)

I feel like it's only right to start with context for the out of touch thursday RTGame post, this isn't even a lore video (yet), but it was made using shots from this video and was submitted to be watched live on stream, WHICH IT WAS! So proud of bubblegum :)

Tumblr

There's no video for this, I just want you to know RTGame is scared of us. Rightfully so, we have rtcler and many other cursed AUs.

Cupcake

Cupcake has a story and a half, it all started with a stupid suggestion in this video, which he took seriously. This man spent 2 months hunting for a shiny wooloo on route 1 of Sword and Shield, he did not play further than that point until he got his shiny wooloo in this video. I feel the need to emphasize this, he spent 50 hours and 11 streams hunting wooloo, killing just shy of 3 500 non-shinies all while not touching the rest of the game, and then when he caught one he named it cupcake and proceeded to beat the entire game with her.

Also not to brag. but I was there live when he found Cupcake - I even commented on it because he broke my bloody ears when it happened

Ross Bob

I think Ross Bob died out as a character a while ago, but he was a big part of the sims series when Daniel played back in the day!

Poop Volcano

This is referenced every now and again in videos, but one time he made a poop volcano in city skylines

Paint Drying

At the time, his highest watch rate on Twitch for any single stream was of him watching paint dry. You may think this is an insult, but no. We are just committed to the bit.

Other References I don't Know The Exact Origin Of

Drift king - Back in college Daniel won a mario kart tournament and he hasn't shut up about it. I assume this first came up in a mario kart video, if I were to guess it would be this one, but I'm not completely sure. This is an ongoing joke though.

Harry Hill - A dead joke, Daniel just likes Harry Hill and he snuck his way into a lot of videos. I have no context.

Pizza - I do not know how or when this started, but Twitch chat really wanted Pizza. I do know how it ended - we made pizza.

Daisy - Daniel just hates Daisy, he is wrong

Baby Gilbert - I cannot for the life of me find the video this bitch comes from, I know which video it is I just can't find it. Anyway, this is the second video he appeared in :)

Not Running Jokes, I just Think You Should Watch These

He took us on a date, it was very romantic

He fell victim to the bath streams

Youtube age restricted most of his channel, he made youtube a curse word

He's an anime girl

He made Youtube change their policy

HE MADE AN ACE ATTORNEY FAN SONG????

A game company made him a custom controller which is just a baby in a blender, they promptly cut contact with him

I just like his Hollow Knight series, it's what got me into the game

This video made it to several news outlets

Toe

Thigh High Boots

I am missing so many references, if rtblr could fill in the stuff I missed that would be great!

#asks!#biterflies #rtgame #moots hijinks #rtblr #long post

47 notes · View notes

duckapus · 1 month

Note

Mario goes to a karoake bar

Mario and Friends go to a karoake bar, somethign weird happens Mario and the interview of DOOOOOMMMM

whimpu gets a job with the help of Bob, Boopkins and Mario

Stupid Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time

The gang get dragged into a time rift after Mario breaks E. Gadd's time machine and they need to fix it along with the time rifts with they're baby selves

in search of the broken past

Tari and Clench have a bonding week via searching for tari's past, meanwhile Whimpu finds out about some shocking things about the idol agency he's working at

Both get knocked out by an EMP/A Bat and get kidnapped

the disappearance of tari

Tari has been missing for weeks now and the gang is stressed, meanwhile Belle and the anti-cast are trying to find where tf whimpu is also meanwhile WHimpu is trying to escape Gilded Entertainment while being chased by Swag and Chris whilst simultaneously trying to wake tari up from her brainwashing, Aria just wants one normal day that isn't stress filled

Mario reacts to musical memes ft. Saiko and Meggy

a palette cleansor for what's to come as Meggy and Mario try to calm Saiko down after the revelations from the end of last episode, we get glimpses of Saiko's inner demon trying to break free as Saiko tries to fight it

Mario goes to a concert

The GLitchy Gang + Belle and the anti-cast implement they're rescue plan after discovering some things about Tari- or well Aria's past thanks to Clench, Swag, Chris and Whimpu are a 3 man army sting operation, Stella/Aria prepares for the show

Mario accidentally unleashes a demon that was sealed in one of his friends (not too sure about this one)

The gang get split up after Mr. Smiley seperates them all, Saiko is on the verge of losing it and Kaizo is trying to help Mario and Meggy calm her down before the thing sealed in her gets out, Bob and boopkins run into an exhausted Chris, Swag, and Whimpu fighting against SMiley Bots and just general chaos ensues as the climax of Stella's come back concert draws near, Melony gets Clench out of the crate he was shoved in at least, Saiko goes demon mode after successfully controlling her anger thanks to Kaizo too!

A Broken Dreams Endless Night

a glimpse into Aria's headspace during the demon episode and a little bit extra

Aria of A New Dawn (an smg4 movie) (not too sure about this one either but eh)

The gang fight against Mr. SMiley who got turned into an eldritch monster that craves power and fame thanks to a piece of the god box crashing into him, Saiko goes bonkers, Tari proves that she is not longer the same scared girl that she was before as WHimpu helps remove the brainwashing with Clench's help, general lesbianism ensues as the gang fights in the name of friendship and love

-superluigiglitchy

I like!

9 notes · View notes

poyobox · 28 days

Note

*sigh* Headrush characters hcs, maybe? (Bob and Baby Diva specifically)

Sorry this took a while, tbh, I don't really think about Baby Diva as much as I probably should.

They are both 5 Small Headcanon guys so here

Bob:

My Bob is a Cat Boy, but not the kind that ends every sentence with “owo” he just happens to have cat ears and a tail.

He and Diva both play Pokemon. Bob specifically is very good at Competitive Pokemon surprisingly, though not enough to have won a World Championship in the Jackboxverse.

Bob is powered by sheer cartoon logic. Nothing he does makes sense. You're not supposed to be able to visit T-Shirt Island without an express invitation and yet Bob's there on a vacation like once a season and doesn't stop no matter how many times Tournmo kicks him out.

Because of said Cartoon Logic, Bob is nearly immortal. He is capable of dying of old age, but he can not be actively killed. No amount of falling off cliffs, being blown to smithereens, or getting hit by a falling piano will give him anything other than a Bob-shaped hole in the ground, a face full of ash, or birds swirling around him.

He and Guy are distant cousins. Despite not seeing each other often, the two treat each other like brothers. Guy is the person who got Bob the audition for YDKJ, in fact.

Baby Diva:

My Diva is a Robot, specifically one designed to basically be a sentient music player. She has a slot in her chest that opens to allow a CD to be inserted and her hands have speakers on them.

Back to Pokemon, Diva doesn't do Competitive, but she is a shiny hunter. She recently finished a Violet Shiny Badge Quest Playthrough.

Diva is a Tumblr User.

Diva is on the Jackbox Celebration Team, which means she's one of the people in charge of any celebrations involving members of the entire team; birthdays, retirements, bachelor parties, etc. She's mostly in charge of playlists.

She's in charge of the official “Jackbots ™ Discord” where all the robotic/ai Jackbox characters that aren't affiliated with Binjpipe send memes to each other. No one who isn't in the group chat understands half of the jokes they make related to the server.

#jackbox #bob koolaid #baby diva

8 notes · View notes

gasolineghuleh · 10 months

Note

Oh oh! That inexperienced smut meme! Can you do 18 for mary?

side note i love how my writing tone changes as soon as i'm writing goore. this is my preferred "voice" as an author, which is why i did yours so fast.

“I can’t wait to take your innocence.”

It's a little scary, being this close to the famous Mary Goore.

A little bit of scary, but a whole lot of hot.

"I've never- God, fuck babe, I- Phooooo, cmon cmon-" He's babbling above you and you know it's his first time getting sucked off in the bathroom of his gig house, but it's all you want right now. Your lips are already around his shaft, kissing whispered praises towards his balls, which you lick greedily.

"Never what, Mare? Never done this?" The cheek in your voice is palpable, but it still sends his hips rocking forward in desire in silent answer to your question. Music from the party pounds against the walls and you're certain no one can hear you outside of the bathroom, but Mary isn't so certain.

"God, I'm gonna- it's gonna be so loud babe- I- I can't, your lips, ohhhh fuck." Mary claps a hand over his mouth, his hips stutter-fucking against your face as he internally wars with his nerves. The jingle of his belt is music to your ears as it bounces off of his taut thigh, catching briefly on the frayed denim.

"No one can hear, Mary. Listen, the music is way too loud." To your credit, you do have to speak up a bit so he can hear you over the bass thudding away outside. He nods a little, his wide eyes looking around the room before back to you, crouched between his legs with one hand on the shaft of his cock.

"Then suck me fuckin' dry," he says, his voice only warbling slightly with nerves. You laugh a little before you lean forward, kissing the tip of his cock and taking it into your mouth.

“I can’t wait to take your innocence.” With one swift motion you take his cock to the back of your throat, bobbing quickly and balancing yourself with one hand against the wall by his hip. Mary aids you as much as he can, gripping your hair in one fist and your shoulder in the opposite hand to attempt to hold you up.

"Fuck, baby- that's so fuckin' good already, oh GOD-" His babbles resume as you take him into your throat, swallowing around his cock before pulling off of him to breathe. Your eyes meet his and in a moment of sheer lust you tilt your head back, keeping your eyes on his as you tap the head of his cock against your outstretched tongue.

"Cum," you whisper command, and the word does the trick. Mary cums hard, buckling at the waist and holding your face against his cock with his hands, groaning with every pulse of his cock as he cums on your face.

"I didn't- I'm sorry, I-" Mary fumbles for a paper towel from the vanity area to help you clean up with one hand as he does up his belts with the other, guitarists' fingers moving like lightening.

"I've never gotten a facial before," you quip, standing up with a groan and fumbling for Mary's outstretched hand and the paper towel as best as you can through semi-closed eyes. As you daub it off of your cheeks, Mary starts to laugh.

"Looks like I took your innocence, too."

#lorraine writes #fic #fanfic #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost #ghost bc fanfic #nf #hfoa #ghost fanfic #fanfic author #fic authors #fanfiction #the band ghost fanfiction #mary goore #goore

50 notes · View notes