#bitter knowledge

[howifeltabouthim]

It would not make you the happier to know it.

Ellen Wood, from East Lynne

#curiosity killed the cat #ugly truth #bitter knowledge #be careful what you wish for #secret #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #classics #ellen wood #east lynne

[uncanny-tranny]

It's weird how people paint "daddy issues" and even "mommy issues" as, like, a joke or a failure on part of the person who has those issues, rather than recognizing that daddy and mommy issues stem, for so many people, from abuse. What this all is is just abuse apologia, and nobody seems to either notice or maybe even care.

When somebody with daddy or mommy issues opens up about the "why," I can't ever seem to shake the fact that they tend to have gone through a ton of abuse and bullshit as a child. It's just crazy that other people would look at that and see a joke or a failure of the once-child who was abused.

#abuse #abuse tw #abuse mention tw #child abuse #child abuse tw #mental health #it really goes to show (to me) that people either can't or don't WANT to acknowledge that parents can be the ones to have fucked up #if all the blame is placed on their child/ren then you can maintain the illusion that the parent is always right... #...that parents know what is best and they will always do what is best for their child/ren #it's just weird to be somebody with parental issues and all that gets steamrolled into 'mommy issues' that then become a Big Joke... #...especially because i'm a man (and because people are misogynists who think it's just so funny that women are people)... #...i find that my own issues are expected to be treated as a joke or a punchline or something i must whisper in the dark... #...so that others may have the luxury of pretending to not hear it or to have the luxury of forgetting in the morning... #...and it just sucks because that leaves me to remember and grieve and doing that with the knowledge that my abuse Is A Joke at My Expense #if you wonder why so many abuse victims/survivors become unsavoury: this is why #i'm too bitter about this topic specifically to care about the comfort of people who don't get it and don't WANT TO... #...because it is THEY who are uncomfortable with the very NOTION that abuse happens #if you can't acknowledge that abuse happens WITHOUT downplaying to for your sense of comfort you will NEVER help abuse victims/survivors #you will find that you start prioritizing YOUR sense of comfort over the safety and continued survival of victims/survivors

[nerdie-faerie]

I'm once again thinking about the missed opportunities to have Klaus and Kol bond more. Part of Klaus' whole motivation as a vampire is to get his werewolf part back and to finally be stronger than Mikael (sort of, I'm simplifying) both of which can be obtained by breaking his curse. But Kol? Kol is the only other original that can relate to having a fundamental part of themself ripped away from them. Klaus might not have known he was a werewolf until he killed, but he likely still had a connection he couldn't explain, as evident by him going to watch the wolves transform. And something he'd never been able to explain was now gone. He might only be able to realise the connection afterwards through its absence.

Kol though. Kol had grown up with magic, a connection to nature and the world around him in a way the rest of his siblings supposedly didn't have. And then he gets turned. And not only has his baby brother died, his father has just murdered him and the rest of his siblings after forcing them to drink human blood, which he'll later learn. Now, not only does he have to deal with the grief of Henrik's death and also his own but also the loss of his magic. A loss that's likely only worsened by Kol being a self-proclaimed child prodigy.

Kol is pretty much the only one who could understand what Klaus is going through with the binding of his wolf. We know Kol searched for ways to get his magic back/carry on practicing magic in the same way that Klaus was looking for ways to break his curse. While Klaus likely could still feel his wolf there despite being bound, Kol has no access to his magic anymore. I just think they should've been able to bond or connect over their shared loss of an intrinsic aspect of their selves at the hands of their parents

#TVD #The Mikaelsons #Kol Mikaelson #Klaus Mikaelson #briefly back on my the originals shouldve gotten to be a family goddammit and as someone from a big family im personally offended bs #i did right a lil snippet about them bonding over this that i havent posted yet for the joml verse but still think its an unexplored concep #need more witch!kol acknowledgement honestly. just need more content of my boy #anyway. klaus having a fascination with the moon and kol telling him about celestial events and how it affects his magic when theyre boys #klaus losing that connection to the moon feeling lost & extra tempermental feeling his wolf claw at its binds and vowing to break his curse #kol determined to get his magic back at any cost relating to that devasting loss and promising to help him find a loophole for his curse #kol who becomes extra reckless and determined when he learns that theres a way to break klaus' curse so maybe he can get his magic back too #that knowledge and recklessness combined with his loss of magic driving him to become the volatile vampire that we see #that leads to him being daggered repeatedly but that first time breaks something in that bond between him & klaus that never fully recovers #it makes him bitter and resentful only fueling his reckless behaviour particularly when there seems to be no leads on reclaiming his magic #that he becomes distant from his siblings in the process especially with finn still daggered but that distance only cements the idea #to his siblings that hes a danger and cant be trusted that he needs to be daggered if theyre to stay safe from mikael #the loss of his magic leading to his spiral as a vampire and him being ostracised by his family > actual tvdu kol canon #klaus being trapped in a room staring at the corpse of his little brother knowing he never repaired that relationship with him #and now he never can so he refuses to look away as penance and a reminder of his failings to his little brother #*edit: one of the reblogs on this post is the author of big bad wolf and honestly she does an amazing job at portraying the mikaelsons #as actual siblings if you havent read it its one of my favourites for characterisations but we need more 😭 i want it to be the norm

[gothic-mothic]

Yellow Chrysanthemum (“mums”), meaning “neglected love or sorrow”

Fennel, meaning “flattery”

Quite the confusing combo isn’t it?

#tsp #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tspud #*throws seeds* time for ur weekly post dear followers #it’s flowers again #I wanted a sister piece to Narrator’s flowers #post parable AU #he’s discovering things #but not really #maybe he’s always felt like this #trapped in between the Feeling and the Knowledge #the Feeling of being in some kind of love for someone #and the Knowledge of knowing that someone couldn’t return those feelings #so you bury them #for thousands of years #and then you’re ripped away from that being #for 4 years #you forget about the feeling because it’s turned into a bitter hurt #you move on #you’re free #and then you find him #and he’s not the same being #he’s changed #you’ve changed #and then you start to remember those buried feelings #and maybe #just maybe #the being is discovering these new feelings because of you #.png

[apoptoses]

do you ever make yourself sad before bed thinking about how Armand’s hostility and desperation towards Lestat comes partly from the fact that Lestat came first to rescue Nicki and then to try and help Louis and Claudia, but no one Armand knew ever actually attempted to rescue or help him?

#not bg3 giving me meta fodder for vc #I feel like there’s an essay to be made from this but my life is on fire and I lack the spoons #in their early relationship Armand wants to hurt Lestat just as much as he wants Lestat to save him #he’s not just jealous of the way Lestat lives so freely #but the way he so bravely swoops in to save Nicki #when to Armand’s knowledge nobody ever even attempted to do that for him #so it’s no wonder he hates him as much as he admires him #Lestat is the hero he wishes he had and it’s inevitable Armand become a bitter thing from meeting and being rejected by him #and want to punish him for being capable of giving others the things Armand himself wished for #and though he grows into someone who can offer kindness and hospitality to others #I wonder if he believes he deserves to receive it himself #or if his offers of hospitality at Trinity gate or taking care of sleeping Lestat are ways for him to be in control of a situation #when someone else is needing help #and avoid his feelings about needing to receive help himself #so much to think about and not enough spoons to fully explore ir 🤧 #vc meta #armand/lestat

[soracities]

I'm 3 days late to this but I just saw that anon about being anti makeup and i want to thank you for articulating so concisely and patiently why certain women are against makeup. mostly because if i were in your place i absolutely wouldn't have the patience to deal with it lmao. mostly because I've been trying to articulate this stance to my friends irl and the most common reaction to this ime, in real life as well as online from women who disagree, is "but I like it 🥺 what about me? 🥺does that mean I'm a bad person? 🥺 but it's fun and cute and girly 🥺" and they just refuse to engage with any of those ideas because for them it's just harmless fun.

and after running up against this response enough times you just start to get sick of it. a lot of this (most of this) is my own personal exasperation talking but it's frustrating to try to make structural critiques and people are so individualistic they can't think past their own preferences.

I think some women, on some level at least, probably are aware of these things, or they have an inkling of them--if not consciously then subconsciously--but it isn't something they are willing or ready to confront, which explains why some can get incredibly defensive about it. We have this whole thing where your individual choices have become linked to, or representative of, your identity and so any comment against those choices is taken as a personal attack because in a sense, for someone living within that framework, it is. I completely understand your exasperation because I've felt it, too. But I think I'm at a point where, for me personally, I'm not trying to argue with people or convince them because trying to make people see or hear what they aren't willing to will only make them double down harder.

I agree with you and I wish there was a way to actually have these conversations in an open manner without getting stonewalled, but the best thing I can do right now is stay true to my own stance and embody that through example and hopefully I can be open enough through this that it allows others to see they can do the same--or that, at the very least, they have the option to.

#tbh i try to assume that people ask things in good faith so in those scenarios i try to be as open as possible (even though i've been guilty #of failing at that too). we have a deeply fucked up world so everyone comes away with deeply internalised ideas bc of that but i also hold #to the notion of “people do better when they know better”. and i try to add to that if i can. but i also accept that i cant take #responsibility for how people apply that knowledge or their willingness to hear it. i just stay open and sincere in my own stance #bc i dont want exhaustion to lead to bitterness #ask #anonymous

[avelera]

As the weird mythology-obsessed kid growing up, I have countless times been disappointed by how little most people know about mythology, even in spaces where I thought people SHOULD know a bit more than the basics. (Namely, college level writing classes. Not just the students, but the teachers. At a top 20 liberal arts college. Literally just. Actual literature professors of mine not knowing relatively known stories like that Aphrodite cheated on Hephaestus with Ares. Reader, I was gobsmacked.)

The fact is, at least in the US, your average person on the street, NOT ON TUMBLR, but I mean like actually outside this bubble, doesn’t know much mythology. They might know Zeus, or Hercules, or “Mighty Aphrodite” based on recent TV shows or the Disney movies or the aforementioned song.

I’m reminded of this XKCD comic which really nails it:

This also applies to mythology. More people than you, the reader of this, probably don’t know who Orpheus and Eurydice are than you might think. Hadestown returned those names to the sort of mainstream and even THAT niche of musical theater is still, well, pretty damn niche.

Thor 3 has Zeus in it, and Hercules, and obviously Thor. But the Thor franchise is wildly inaccurate to actual Norse mythology is probably the biggest influx of mainstream knowledge of mythology where you MIGHT be able to talk to the average person about who, say, Loki is. But it’s doubtful they’d know a single historically accurate myth, unless MAYBE they’d also played God of War. But again, these are still very nerdy niches within the general mainstream culture.

I dunno. Maybe there’s no point to this. Just that sometimes I see people on here, especially in the Sandman fandom, kind of surprised by mythological knowledge not being more widespread. But in my personal experience, even in very nerdy circles, it very often really, REALLY isn’t.

#Maggie rambles #idk sometimes people expect to know who Calliope is just from hearing her name but like #calliope is just a name? even mythology buffs can’t necessarily name all the muses #lots of people in Greece still have mythologically informed names #Orpheus and Eurydice is actually a pretty niche myth if you’re not like an opera fan which is also not super common these days #just most people aren’t into these generally pretty old niche knowledge spaces #even people who are VERY EDUCATED don’t necessarily know their mythology #I was English major and there were people who needed a primer before we read Paradise Lost because they didn’t know the references #these were ENGLISH MAJORS #idk I’ve grown very bitter about this over the years lol and it makes me sigh when mythology buffs are somehow surprised by this

[slythereen]

max and lewis clapping for charles on the podium was very very cute. i support it wholeheartedly. however... is it uncommon? don't they normal clap for one another on the podium? i am trying to picture other podiums and am too lazy to go look (okay fine i will in a sec) but i feel like maybe they would have been clapping anyway, even without the booing incident? now i can't even remember if lewis/charles were clapping for max or max/charles for lewis 😭

#if that clapping was actually out of the ordinary i will sob bc thats fucking cute #there's something truly fateful about charles experiencing his first booing with max and lewis #kings of being booed by bitter fans #i think its his first anyway #glad they were there for pookie<3 #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #max verstappen #someone with more knowledge and a better memory come get me #mexico gp 2023 #*delphi

[hopesallwegotleft]

#House of Ashes #Salim Othman #character death #my gifsets #god this scene hurts so much because it's such a 'perfect' death scene #Salim made all the right choices by constantly wishing to go back to the surface instead of headlong into danger #and yet he also made the morally right choices of helping his allies and enemies if they were in danger #sharing knowledge whenever he could #not even wanting to fight but just wanting to get back to his son #and then after he risks his own life to help out Jason and Nick #they leave him here #not only taking away the single escape route to the surface #but also making enough noise in the process to alert all the vampires and bring them to Salim's location #so there's no way for Salim to escape #and he doesn't even despair or rage #he just has the bitter realization and says goodbye to his son #and at the very last second there's a wince as he braces himself #ffff I swear this scene moves me so much but I avoid it whenever I can

[canichangemyblogname]

My mother may have tried to raise herself a daughter, but, to her, I have also always been my father’s son.

#She can see him in me. Quite literally. #And I know the knowledge I share his blood leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. #She resents her children because she resents who she could’ve become without us. And she resents the man I look like. #‘You look like your father. How I wish you didn’t look like your father.’

[draqonsblues]

yk what the writers should add more? more of ahjeong's love for film and acting. the date w jihan to busan was a taste and i need more. i just want to see her freak out over films and overall the industry and more stories during her time as a student for acting. (sincerely, someone who shares the same love for films and is considering to major in it)

#idk that would be so cool thougg #though* sorry #like the writers had the chance to flex their knowledge but noOOoOOoo #im just bitter abt the writing ok😔 #wedding impossible

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

sometimes you read something for a fandom you were crazy over years ago and you encounter one of the ships you loved back then and you just think “yeahhhh…. this is still great :) way to go younger me you were so based about this actually :)”

#anyway I still care a lot about Obitine apparently #their respective commitment to their respective ideals and moral codes… the way they love each other more than life #(literally. they’re so willing to die for each other.) #and yet that never leads them to violate who they /are/ or who the other person is #Satine is willing to never see him again rather than ask him to leave the Order. he is willing to leave the Order all she has to do is ask #they are able to rest in their love for one another bc they know the other loves them in such a way that they would never ask #for their compromise #idk this makes very little sense it’s 2 a.m. I’m delirious I have church in the morning but I wanna rewatch some Clone Wars now #hfhfhfhhdhdhdhehdhdhdhfbbdsjsjfhfj #gurt says stuff #edit: wait actually this is so funny—bc I just realized that Din Djarin and Obi-Wan are quite similar in a lot of ways #so the parallels here are incredibly funny to me for some reason. the Kryze women just have a Thing for reserved men who are #completely devoted to their religious values and would do practically anything for their adopted family huh #(ftr I don’t know if I ship DinBo or not but I do understand the appeal and I am open to the possibility of the writers play it right #still bitter about losing Cara tho. bc I was SO curious to see how Misters Filoni and Favreau were going to develop that #n I had a vague suspicion based on my knowledge of how Filonis brain and stories work that ~something~ may have been meant to happen there)

[raychleadele]

Wild, horrifying, action packed Dracula Daily email today! And made better by editorial choices in my opinion. I don’t recall what order these entries are presented in in the original book (I have a copy, I could check, but it’s in another room and I’m on the couch so), but it would be easy as the DD editor to justify giving us the same set of entries but in a different order. Lucy’s diary entries could’ve been presented back to back but they weren’t. Mina’s letter could’ve been presented earlier in the email rather than at the end, as she was likely writing earlier in the day than Lucy, who wrote in the evening/middle of the night. But I like this order, for two reasons.

1: Going from Seward rejoicing that he can have a much needed good night’s sleep because Van Helsing did not request his help tonight, to the bitter shock that his help was requested but he didn’t know until too late, seeing the telegram after Seward’s entry hits harder than I think it would if we’d have seen it first.

2: Similarly with Mina’s letter, the fact that it comes as the last entry today makes it all the more painful to read. I do think that if today’s email was truly presented chronologically, Mina’s letter would likely come before Lucy’s entries, or at least before her second one. But seeing Mina ask about Lucy’s mother, immediately after watching the woman die, hurts more than it would have had we read Mina’s letter first.

I guess my point here is to say thanks to the editor. I don’t know if these choices were made intentionally or not, but different choices could’ve been made and I think today’s email would’ve been less effective horror if it had been presented differently.

#dracula daily #also getting updates from almost everyone makes today’s email especially exciting! #today’s email really exemplifies why I love this book #the dread! the horror! the way the small joys are made bitter by the reader’s knowledge! so good

[pinchedlittlefox]

Remember, that in the Phasma novel, Cardinal says there are still several hours before the assembly begins. So when Armitage Hux is ""resting before the assembly"" (or so his droid says...), or rather, getting ready because Kylo Ren does not like to wait... ( the truth, which we learn via Hux’s internal monologue ). Hux does not mean Kylo is going to be irritated if Hux starts the assembly late. There is plenty of time before the assembly. Kylo is impatient for this private meeting that he and Hux are about to have. So Cardinal gtfo so Hux can get fancy for his man. i.e. kylux is canon and they were just bitter exes by time TFA started. Okay bye.

#kylux #This was mostly a joke but Delilah did pretty much say she intentionally included kylux subtext. #Which I love. #Because either way-- Cardinal's perspective displays a relationship between Hux and Kylo without implied animosity. #Which could be interpreted as platonic or just nuetral. But with the extra knowledge it can easily be interpreted as romantic/etc. #And in that case they must have broken up by the Age of Resistance Hux comic #Because there is apparent animosity. Whiiiiich kind of resembles bitter exes

[paarthursass]

aurel and astarion are like two cats being forced to share the same house. and most of the time they just hiss and spit at each other and occasionally you'll find them trying to beat the shit out of one another. but then also sometimes they sit up on the fridge together and glare at everyone else. before one of them pushes the other off the fridge.

#sophie.txt #oc: aurel #sophie plays bg3 #astarion #and most of the time i'm like 'hm maybe gay sex will fix this situation' but i am 100% sure that aurel and astarion would just be worse #they have one ill advised one night stand and so now their insults are laced with carnal knowledge of the other #everyone around them has a worse time THEY are having a worse time #unfortunately this does kind of make me. tempted. to have them be exes or smthn #though unfortunately they do already have that Bitter Exes energy in spite of the fact they have Never Fucked #they're mortal enemies they're best friends they're bitter exes they're comrades in arms they're divorced they've never been married #what the fuck is going ON with you two

[fitzrove]

I think I'm struggling creatively because as time goes on I find less and less motivation to write (and read, tbh!) stuff that's

good wholesome queer representation

escapist everything-gets-better fantasy ("because life is hard enough why would you write about miserable things")

palatable to people who disagree with me

And obviously I'm nowhere near finishing even a single original thing yet ahdfhajf but I've been looking at publishing videos that people who have experience in the industry have made and. Man no wonder that so much milquetoast stuff gets put out nowadays

#not to be a hater and controversial but #the fact that its often straight people judging whether queer representation has problematic elements (and similar situations) #and lots of queer media seems to be made with straight people in mind (at least as a considerable portion of the audience) #and ugh in general/unrelated like. i just want to write litfic about the human condition XDD and structural inequality #but if i do it with fanfic nobody will read it because my most popular fics will always be ones where white men kiss each other for 3k word #obviously i'm grateful that anyone reads anything i write aggdhfh it's very nice to be heard #but fr my most popular fics are NOT my best ones #and yeah like if i write original fiction it's unlikely to do well in publishing because there's no hot sexy straight romance or wholesome #soft high school good representation queer people:3 #maybe i can put in a red herring twink guy idk #also i'm just so bitter about linguistic inequality still XDD like. in a video abt fantasy tropes the person making the video hates they #said that they hate 'overly long fantasy names' that they can't pronounce #which just made me go 'silence anglo' mentally because omfg super often those names are just BASED ON CULTURES YOU'RE NOT PART OF #(disclaimer i know not all english speakers are ignorant hahfjsdhjfj) #but yeah its funny when old english inspired names are too hard for modern english speakers like welcome to being anyone else lol #its somehow considered a minimum requirement of knowledge to be able to pronounce names like george and matthew correctly #but then for other languages it's a special courtesy if people say names right #afujishgfis and this is just one example #rant #writing #literature