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jemmo · 1 year

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i cant tell you how much i ADORE this first episode of my beautiful man s2. there’s something about the pace of it, especially in hira and kiyoi’s interactions, the quick back and forth, hira saying something, kiyoi catching him out, hira backing down, kiyoi getting mad about that, hira stuttering to try and say the right thing. the way they interact is this seemingly endless cat and mouse going in circles around this big, huge centre thing that is ‘the point’. they both want to convey so much but neither can put the plain and simple words to it, hira is too much and kiyoi is too little. and yet they still have these moments, when they let the plain truth slip, hira saying you’re just too cute, or kiyoi earnestly asking hira not to leave him, it peels back at their true sentiment that’s always being danced around.

and the thing is, if you didnt watch the first season, this relationship could so easily be seen as bad bad really bad, the way they almost bicker and get mad, how kiyoi appears to pick at hira and gets mad so easily, how hira acts more like an avoid stalker than a boyfriend and always seems on edge or off in his head catastrophising. some people still might. i can see how it can be a difficult relationship to digest. its weird, awkward and uncomfortable at times, and almost absent of the usual softness of a bl couple. but thats why i adore it. because i think its so important and interesting to portray a different kind of relationship, even if maybe exaggerated to fit the king and servent original premise that hira still holds onto. bc the thing with these kinds of relationships is it doesnt matter what we think of it, whether we like it or think its ok, its about the people in it. some people are just different, they act differently, and interact differently, and thats ok if its ok for the people involved, and thats what i think the case is for hira and kiyoi. obviously they still have problems, this relationship isnt perfect, and i think this series is gonna show that, but thats also ok. just bc a relationship isnt perfect, doesnt mean it shouldnt exist. there has to be something there in the first place for it to be worked on. and there is. at the core of it all, these two people really really love and care about each other, they just express it differently, and maybe need to learn how to express it in a way that makes it easier and better for the other to feel it. maybe hira needs to let kiyoi off that pedastal, and maybe kiyoi needs to not view his feelings as this weird, gross thing. but that takes time, and i think is truly worth it.

and what makes it work and so thrilling and interesting to watch as a show is that kiyoi and hira somehow both encourage that detrimenal behaviour but are also so incredibly good for each other, and good at challenging that behaviour. hira wants to see kiyoi as a god and kiyoi wants to be loved, so he can be that godly figure. you can see it in this almost entitled way he acts, pushing hira around, even when he just sits down in the rocking chair, above hira, very mch the image of a king and his bowing servent. as someone that was starved of love as a child, he laps that up. but its when his feelings grow for hira that he realises he doesnt want to be some god or king, he just wants plain and simple, human, equal love. so he ends that scene lying on hira’s lap, lower than him, airing his insecurities of being abandoned and asking hira to stay with him, very much that lonely child wanting someone else’s love. not devotion, not sacrifice, just love. and its his feelings for hira that allow him to push hira in a good way, challenge him, bring him out of his shell, which he desperately needs. hira is so stuck in his head that he hasnt reared his head enough to learn how to act like an actual person. so used to blending into the background, he doesnt know how to be his own person and not an object or a piece of the furniture. you see it at the party, that he doesnt know enough small talk words to get through a conversation, let alone actually be himself and interact with others on an equal level. thats why he takes on this servent role, bc he’s never seen himself as enough of a person to be anything else. he can only be made real when characterised by his actions for others. kiyoi’s rejection of these roles means he can challenge hira to step up, to be on his level, and in that find himself. there’s hints, you can see it, in his love of phtography, when he talks about the moon, when he’s around others and even kiyoi and they have these softer moments where it feels like hes breathing and calm instead of stuttering and panting through an interaction and his brain is running a mile a minute. kiyoi has seen it too, and thats why he fell in love with him. ok, maybe he likes his eccentricities too, but he sees a person that he wants to be with, on equal terms, and in that he wants to pull hira up and see him be himself, realise himself as a person, just as much as he has to step down. and they dont explain these things plainly, voice that they want to help each other in this way, but you see it so clearly. its the subtext of this almost other language that they speak together thats full of twisted meanings and hidden intentions, at the heart of it is, like i said before, actual love and care for each other. do they need to get better at it? yes. but do they need to become our idea of a normal relationship to do that? no, absolutely not. after all, hira will always be hira, and kiyoi will always be kiyoi, and if they lost that, they’d lose themselves and their love for each other. so stay weird, stay unconventional, and stay yourselves, my beautiful couple.

#made by jemmo #my beautiful man #utsukushii kare #this started off as a rant and became a love letter to this show and these characters and their relationships #i just adore how unconventional it is #bc its really challenging to not impose what you think a nice healthy relationship should be onto a couple #but thats why its so interesting to watch #and almost makes their relationship that much more special #that theyre able to understand each other in this way #like this is what i call soulmates #two souls that were truly made to be together #and understand each other like no one else does #who fit together no matter how impossible and nonsensical it first seems #theyre weird and i wouldnt want them any other way

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clutchpowers · 10 months

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Sooooo... i wanted to stick this little rambly thing at the bottom of the redraw but it would have made it look UGLY so im doing this separately... just wanna talk about the whole thing and What Not.

TLDR: its been a slash positive ride thats been worth it to try "something new" every year and my favorite piece out of all of them is the 9th. also for the curious heres the comparison of the 5th anni piece to the recent one (2018 -> 2023)

anyway. personal post time.

oh where to begin *rocks on my rocking chair* i guess it would be with the 5th anniversary piece...at the time it had been a long while since i did lineless art and i thought it would be cool to try it again for that one so i did by redrawing an old piece from 2014... that was the first "finished piece" i made of Them. i think i even made it into a wallpaper for myself lmao. anyway after i posted it i was like "aw man i should draw something every year until the 10th" but i thought yeah right. im going to forget next year like the idiot i am. but i Some How managed to do one every year... th worms got me... i honestly didnt think id make it all the way to the 10th but i did!! AND WITHOUT MISSING A DAY EXCEPT FOR THE 7TH WHERE I WAS A WEEK LATE???? UNREAL especially when fun fact! every year i had no idea what i wanted to do! all i knew for sure is that i wanted each piece to be out of my comfot zone to push me to do something a little different. unfortunately the subjects tm where always the same so it feels a little. samey. but these are my celebratory posts I GET TO ONLY POST ABOUT THE OTP SUPER BLORBOS OF ALL TIME

the 6th anniversary was a redraw of that one scene. you know the one. the helicopter one. fucking hate that scene btw it actually causes me psychic damage i cant watch with the audio or ill scream. but it is my favorite scene of mine despite all the horrors it causes <3 and i wanted to redraw it as if it was a cartoon... like i had taken screencaps from the lcu cartoon in my head. i still remember the backgrounds being such a pain in the ass. honestly id like to go back and redo this one one day too or do something similar to the concept because its a fun one that i always saw done growing up and i wanted to try it myself.

for the 7th anniversary you can see the turn.. no more humans... return to lego... i was getting a little more confident in drawing them in the lego form so i did another redraw this time with the ending!! honestly i still like this one and how it looks even with how late it was but i wanted to test my confidence and do a real True and Finished piece with COLORED LINES and EVERYTHING!!!!! im glad i ended up taking the turn because for the LONGEST TIME i wanted to try and draw them as lego so bad because all i did was draw them as humans and its funny because now its the exact opposite. glad this piece was kinda the solidification in my head that yeah okay im a bit better at drawing the stylized lego toy now i can keep drawing them like this without feeling like im going to want to delete this in 2 weeks.

the 8th anniversary one is so weird. somewhere toward the beginning of the year it got into my head that i wanted to do a comic of them but time/school would have gotten in the way so i ended up opting for a page. another redraw of the ending scene which honestly out of all of them this is my least favorite one and its solely because its all so off. i def could have formated it better so the background shot doesnt take up the entire fucking page but then again im not a comic guy and this was my first time so the layout was bound to look HORRID but this is something id like to come back to ive had the idea of making like a genuine short comic about them since FOREVER and now that im a bit more experienced (lying) i would like to make one day!!!! just gotta stop getting caught up in my scripts!! and going in circles!! Because im obviously not a writer and i keep getting first-hand embarrassment from these!! but ill get over it one day lol.

OH THE 9TH ANNIVERSARY PIECE MY BELOVED. ONE OF MY FAVORITE PIECES ACTUALLY i love this stupid thing so much you have no idea.i know its re-using lineless but i just loved the idea of what it would look like lineless AND IT CAME OUT SO PERFECT I LOVE IT SO MUCH obv it needs a few touch-ups so the main issues dont stand out to me but god. i love this piece so much. idk what came out of me to make this but its so good ill never get over it. and the little lego them as a cake topper ITS JUST SO CUTE I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY OTHER THAN I LOVE THIS SO MUCH SORRY

finally. the 10th anniversary piece. oh my god. okay. i need everyone to understand this. i had woken up with this fucking Unbearable pounding headache that was trying to kill me. my body the entire day wanted me to stop and lie down, but last night i was already done with a good chunk of it and all i had to do that day was finish some lines and the coloring?? i literally don't remember all i remember is my body actively trying to shut down and force me to stop and sleep which i took a nap? didnt help. so i said fuck it im finishing this. i was. an entire goddamn corpse arched over my laptop. i was so delirious the entire time its a fucking miracle it even came out as good as it did but honestly. i still hate how it fucking looks. like you can TELL when i gave up (the shading) and it sticks out like a sore fucking thumb to me and it pisses me off because i knew i could have done so much better if i wasnt being stricken down by gods hand and his every attempt to get me to rest. idk like im generally proud ot it, with this one i wanted to go out with a bang tm so i tried to draw every important and relevant character instead of ALL of them like I was originally planning LMAO but ah well. maybe one day when im faster at drawing. this one i defiantly wanna go back and touch up but i everytime i open the file i can see 40 more things wrong with it and it drives me nuts. so ill just have to wait for when im ready. i guess.

can i just say though. the improvement is crazy. it always catches me off guard because tbh i uh. dont like my own art. im getting better at not fucking hating it because i can pinpoint everything wrong with it but whenever i see the side by sides it always surprises me. i always dont think im improving but then i see it and its like wow i really am getting better! i still suck at 3000 things but im getting better! and its overall just a nice thing to see after having drawn them for as long as i have... the power of the worms is strong and has ruined my brain...... speaking of i know ive said a few times that i fucking hate certain pieces, not just LCU related ones but almost anything i post, but if you love them and are able to look at them with a twinkle in your eye then thank you. genuinely. i honestly love looking over the tags of people exploding and saying nice things. it warms my cold little heart and im glad there are people out there that genuinely love some of the things what i do! even if its just fanart and its just their blorbo. thank you for sticking around even tho all i do is draw my otp super blorbos :'^) this game means the world to me and im glad like more than 2 people wanna spread it around.

to wrap back around to the anniversary stuff and speaking of big love to the people out there THE FREAKING EPIC ZINE i was just a small thing but it came out amazing even for how small it was thank you to the contributors and thank you to everyone whos downloaded it!! its still getting the occasional and i love getting the notif in my email about it. i love that there are still people out there who wanna see it and all the hard work everyone put into it to celebrate the games 10th just thank you again i really does mean alot to me ALSO IF YOU HAVENT CHECKED IT OUT PLEASE DO IT IS 100% WORK YOUR TIME AND ITS DIGITAL WITH PRINT AT HOME STICKERS AND YOU CAN KEEP IT AND LOOK AT IT FOREVER

uh to end this off....would I like to do this again..... I mean I kinda am? by that i mean ill do the big numbers (15, 20, 25, 30, 40, etc) till the day i freaking die!!!! but yeah no countdown stuff ever again!!!!! sorry :^( it was super fun to do though!!!! and im glad i did it that piece is the conclusion to the whole thing but that doesnt mean ill stop drawing them. duh. theyre my characters now! but heres to many more anniversaries and to hopefully another game! or to just see them again in any other lego media! or even better... a mischaracterized cameo in ninjago!

#long ass post lmao congrats if you actually read it all and made it to the bottom :'^)#i typed this all out yesterday thats how i got it out so quick lol

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insanebirddog · 4 months

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I hate when people are like "others say they depressed as kids but when i was a kid all i cared about was legos"

This isnt directed at anybody, but i am so gen SICK of hearing this bullshit, so heres a rant on what i think. Small little warning it IS cringe.

ALSO TW There is small mentions of things like abuse, neglect, and child harm. If these may be triggering dont read this.

Cool dude, cool. I remember crying on the playground on multiple occasions bc it i was coming to the realization that no one, not even my family actually cared about me. I was thinkin about how i was completely alone, and how i was basically an observer. I came to terms with my 'quiet dude in the corner no one talks to and forgets is there' role in like 2nd or 3rd grade, and i cried in the car because even then i knew everyone i cared about was gonna leave me but yeah bro, rock on, i love legos.

I mean, its almost like kids can have bad lifes? OMG! CHILDREN HAVE PROBLEMS?! type shit annoys me. Just because someone is young, think any age of minor doesnt mean that they dont have something going on in life and it certainly doesn't mean you should belittle literal CHILDREN for being self aware about how bad their situation is. Thats how you get kids like me, i have such little confidence i cant tell you a SINGLE thing without being like 'but dont quote me haha!' like, i could just point at a cat and be absolutely sure it IS a cat and tell you 'oh hey thats a cat, but dont quote me bc idk' instead of being a dick to children who tell you somethings wrong you should idk, use your fucking ears and listen to em? Like, thats what you have ears for right? I could outright tell people that i was neglected as a kid and they'll be like 'your still just a kid, you dont know what neglect is' like yeah yeah cool, wasnt starved, didnt get medically neglected, totally got all the emotional support i needed and wasnt just ignored or literally beaten for having any type of emotion sure. Ppl act like they know EVERYTHING, invalidate you, mock ya, belittle you and then when you tell them the details they go all "sorry i didnt know" yeah, you didnt. So why were you such a fuckin dick abt it? Why did you all high and mighty go "I KNOW BETTER THEN U!" if you knew nothing?

Like, the fuckin legos statement. Does no one realise people can have VERY different childhoods? and that truama actually EFFECTS PEOPLE? like holy shit! that traumatized boy acts traumatized! why would he do that? its not like IM traumatized so why would he act that way?! like im very happy that you werent treated like garbage as a kid, atleast some parents still treat their kids with respect and not everyone in the world suffered like i did but jesus fucking holy hell get your shit together, you dont have to be a dickface just bc youre not traumatized.

SAME FUCKING THING WITH PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY DONT BELIEVE IN MENTAL HEALTH. Like we have FUCKING EMOTIONS. How do you not believe in LITERAL EMOTIONS??? like you even see it in animals, you beat an animal enough for doing something they wont do it anymore bc you traumatized the fuckin animal, you see literal evidence of it everywhere. People show signs of being traumatized and then these fuckwads r all "UR BEING DRAMAITC!!!!!1!1!11!1!!!1!!!11" and then they'll go and mention how their parents slapped them once and they werent traumatized, like sorry that happened to you dude, but that is not at all anything like being beaten everytime you cry. They make huge problems out to be the tiniest of bumps in the road like they turn a moutain into a pebble all bc "they were being dramatic-" ever heard of people not lying? like, theres people out in the world that dont lie about or exaggerate their trauma, i literally in my 17 yrs of life not met a single person who does that. I bet those people exist, and i feel bad that thats the only way they feel they'll be taken seriously or the only way anyone would care. We focus a LOT on those type of people, and i get why but that doesnt mean EVERYONE who talks abt being truamatized is exactly the same.

Theres a large list of types of people i dont like, and these are just two of them. But, i dont want to keep writing abt this bc as i mentioned before i literally have zero confidence in myself and will stop while im still comfty enough to post this.

Also, can someone help me understand tags m lost [new to tumblr dweebis]

#im mentally ill #i hate it here #trauma

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melody-of-lost-souls · 3 years

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So I’m the anon that asked if Sakura had orphanages, thanks for the extra insight. Like I said in that ask, I had seen a lot of Sakura stans on TikTok saying that she had opened them up around the world and saying that she did it because she didn’t want other kids to end up like Naruto and Sasuke. Some said that this made up for the Sakura talking bad about Naruto being an orphan situation.

Hello! your welcome! Yeah it's from Sakura Hiden, at least in retsuden and shikamaru hiden this topic is not there. I read it very quickly -is bad written, very basic, as all the light novels are tho-

these are the fragments of the novel

--------------- "Ah, that's true." Sakura nodded as well.

At the Konoha hospital, Sakura had created a position where she was especially in charge of the mental care of children. Sakura proposed the idea to the senior officials of the hospital. Approximately two years ago, the Fourth Great Ninja World War had ended. When half a year passed after conflict, she then she presented her suggestion.

It was a great war ... Ninjas from all over gathered in an alliance to prevent the resurrection by Otsutsuki Katipoa. She was an exceedingly powerful enemy. Often they thought that they would have been drawn into the depths of despair. But nevertheless, with Naruto In the heart of the Allied Forces, they could neither break nor yield to the enemy. They had fought until the bitter end. Katipoa's aspirations were cut short.

Everyone rejoiced at the arrival of peace. The world was saved. Soon after, rebuilding began after such a large-scale battle. They were making progress by repairing damaged soil and infrastructure.

As a medical ninja, Sakura also treated a large number of injured ninja. There was also many people who suffered serious injuries. Many people visited her for treatment. Without However, all of her patients' expressions were calm and quiet. Since the war finished, it was probably because of her sense of security.

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Sakura thought incidentally:

"I wonder what the children are doing ...

She thought about it while she was in the hospital. Sakura noticed Kurenai, who was hugging her daughter. As for the children who were not directly involved in the combat, perhaps they were physically unharmed. However, what about his mental condition? Since the children did not know when the war would end, their young and tender hearts were probably stressing about your situation. Children saw countries in a state of collapse, or they knew of the death of someone close to them. Perhaps they were full of wounded in their hearts and minds.

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Due to the stress of the great war, there were children whose hearts and minds were wounded by the situation. There should be children who were suffering like those in Konoha. If that is the case, with the prepared infrastructure of the mental care clinic, and in addition to increasing its effectiveness in Konoha, then your work should be applicable to other villages. In how many for the other villas, it would be extremely useful for your children.

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―If only the Children's Mental Health Clinic and the support room could become what Naruto is for Sasuke, for other people ... "Sakura thought.

.------

A place where anyone could come and go as they wanted, talk about anything and everything. Yes the person was bad with words, he was good too. Then the members of the room support would try to start and lead the conversation so that something, anything, could be talked about, or just wait patiently until the other party feels like she can say something. A place like that.

--------

This is the Mental Hospital she WITH INO want to open for the children with mental issues regarding the horrible war. Which yeah i found it wonderful, but Sakura -maybe INo- hasnt got any kind of skill about Psychology and never even dared to care or put some emphaty towards orphans such as Naruto, Gaara or Sasuke. The only time I remember her thinking "Maybe this is how Naruto feels" is in Road to Ninja.

For example, here if you want to apply for being volunteer to take care and play with children in a orphanage, you have to be interviewed and take a psychological test. Because you are dealing with CHILDREN.

Anyway, this hospital doesnt have the "option" to adopt children or something like that so it's far from being an orphanage. And it's not across the world either. The Sakura portrayed here is the one all of her fans desire to be but isnt because her personality is far from being this kind of person.

Could she evolve? Yeah maybe sure, but with a lot of work and development. Development we didnt see here in Naruto nor in Boruto.

And i will rant with this a bit but this really fucked me up.

-----------------

Lately how are you with Hinata? Better than me, she would listen to you carefully.

-How jealous?

Sakura returned with tremendous speed and slammed her fist into Naruto's head. Sakura with an appearance of a demon looked at Naruto who now rested his face on a rock.

-Of course not! You know I decided to wait for Sasuke-kun!

-Y… Yes ma'am.

Naruto replied still lying.

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What did you decide to wait for, homegirl? Because i dont get it. He rejected you almost 5 times (not only love confessions but also your flirting advances) and you "decided to wait for him!". This basically means for me, that she is gonna force him until he "falls in love" with her, because the only thing sasuke said in 699 was "until next time" and that's a quote with the meaning itachi used to give. There wasnt next time, Sasuke went on his journey. -and this "cherry blossom" decided to chase him, and get pregnant because of course she had to get uchihas dick and crest. What do you want to wait for? Did Sasuke give any foreshadowing about coming back for your love? No.

Anyway.

#antisakura #antisasusaku #anti-ss #anti-sasusaku #anti-sakura

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ahwait-no-yes · 4 years

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Let’s talk about if Saihara hated Ouma

So lately I’ve actually seen a bit more comments on how Saihara doesn’t actually like Ouma and people have gone as far as saying he hates him and idk why people genuinely believe it so here I am about to refute that (I’ve been waiting ages to make this post just so you know so this came out as a horribly unstructured ramble more than anything oops)

some notes beforehand:

I have an obvious bias as I do ship saiouma. although i’ll try to be neutral on what I say here, I can’t hide my bias. I have tried to include what people that hate this ship believe to counter them though, also if you ship other things that’s totally fine?? don’t think of any of this as an attack at your ship and I’m not saying Saihara loved Ouma, I’m just tired of people saying Saihara hated him.

You’re allowed to respectfully disagree as long as you don’t berate me or say I don’t know the game when the majority of the screenshots in this are from my own gameplay, lmao.

and massive whole-game spoilers! Don’t read this if you’ve not finished DRV3!

Glad to know you made it under the cut! now I can begin with where I think people got this idea that Saihara hates him from- the infamous “You’re alone Kokichi and you always will be” line.

I admit this was very cold and still breaks my fragile saiou heart, but to base Saihara’s entire perspective of Ouma on this one line he said while he wasn’t thinking straight is just.. no.. It’s unrealistic. we’ve seen how Saihara is able to adapt his views and grow (I’ll come back to this later), he’s not stubborn in this regard like Momota or even Ouma is, so even if he did mean it 100% (which I doubt because when *anybody* is angry they will say or do things they may regret had they been calmer), it’s not like his view on Ouma from chapter 4 was his final view on him. And that’s what people fail to realise.

So, how does Saihara view Ouma then?

well, I’d say he’s been interested in Ouma as a detective from the moment he met him with his curiosity piqued at Ouma’s claims of leading a secret organisation.

and he remains curious about Ouma throughout, always questioning why Ouma says certain things, what Ouma is lying for, he just wants to figure him out- and this doesn’t just apply to free time events either

I think you get my point there, now, I think if I didn’t ship saiou and read this, I’d argue these are all pre-chapter 5 and before the breaking line so he may have been curious before but not after- that then brings me to my next point

Saihara was confident- dare I say believed- in Ouma, especially after Chapter 5.

how bold of me to say ikr, but this ties in to Saihara’s ability to adapt his views. He’s sort of like a mixture of both Kaito and Ouma honestly, because naturally as a detective he has to be suspicious and think logically as Ouma does, while at the same time Kaito taught him to believe in his friends which has also helped him to advance in trials. I think he might have extended this belief to Ouma, because he trusts that Ouma is doing what he does for a reason.

In fact, I’d argue he’s the only one of the remaining group who wouldn’t readily accept pinning Ouma down as a villain. If anything, it’s the opposite- Saihara fought to clear Ouma’s name, and never stopped trying to understand whether or not his intentions were true or false

i’ll just drop this screenshot here (that i named THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.png in case you were wondering)

this is what I mean when I say he wouldn’t accept it as fast as the others and would second-guess it, bear in mind this is the moment Ouma “admitted” to being the mastermind. and it’s not like this doubt was sudden or anything, cause I can recall this moment (that I actually didn’t catch on to on my first playthrough)

which gives me the idea that hadn’t Ouma purposefully messed with everyone and built up his bad reputation, it would’ve been so much easier for Saihara to disprove him being the mastermind at the point he said it.

Anyway, going back to my point- excluding Kaito (cause Ouma directly told him), Saihara is the first to bring up Ouma’s innocence, and this is what I mean when I say Saihara believed in Ouma

note that I say believed in. believing Ouma and believing in Ouma are different, it’s like how loving someone and being in love with someone are two different things, so don’t argue that by saying “he didn’t trust him” because ik that and that’s not what I’m trying to say.

but he did believe that Ouma had his reasons, and he tried to discover and understand them. I mean, take this for example

he’s already on board lool look at him go, but no really look at the confidence

he’s both confident in himself and in Ouma not lying here, then goes back to being curious about his intentions

oh and let’s not forget who it was that searched Ouma’s lab to find clues to prove he is a remnant of despair. Why do you need to search for evidence for something you (and the others even more) think is irrefutably true? the answer is obvious- he was doubtful of it from the start, and needed evidence to convince himself it was true, but then as he found nothing to prove it (and even evidence against it), he had to convince the others of it too- and prove Ouma’s innocence

(the last screenshot was from Hikkie’s playthrough on Youtube)

But as you can see, he’s clearing Ouma’s name as the leader of the Remnants of Despair.

Now, I bet someone would argue that this only proves Saihara was determined to find the truth in general, because he’s mister detective, so I’ll raise you the fact that Saihara didn’t need to try figuring why Ouma does the things he does- he could leave it at just knowing the truth and if he really didn’t like Ouma like people say then there’s not much merit to it.

“So what if I know this now? I didn’t care about him, it’s pointless” he could’ve thought something like that, but no

(I also think the “you’re lying again kokichi, there’s a method to your madness” moment fits here too)

Not only this, but there’s also how Saihara learnt from him.

honestly im still kinda mindblown from this ever since I first realised it, but when you think about it, Ouma hinted to Saihara in his FTEs how to win the game.

(those 3 screenshots are from justonegamr’s kokichi’s FTE video; random fun fact this was the playthrough that i watched while first getting into drv3)

But if you think about it, Ouma tried this again in his own trial in his attempt at ending the killing game and then Saihara also used this to actually end it

Not only that (which personally i think is pretty powerful in itself), but Saihara also tries to take Ouma seriously and picks up hints he leaves and uses them later

as well as

(and generally just)

generally, Ouma will hint and then Saihara will pick it up. it’s been like that for the whole game- why should Saihara give any extra thought to what Ouma hints if he dislikes him?? really, he could’ve just ignored him the same way he did at the end of chapter 4- but again, he didn’t “”hate”” Ouma enough to keep ignoring him, he considered him a friend in the end anyway.

and the end is what I’ll talk about now, too.

first- can we just acknowledge this?

he doesn’t ignore Ouma at all here. even though he didn’t trust him, he was sad to have lost him.

Not to mention the way he thinks about lying at the end of Chapter 6. (like, please this is just- *chefs kiss*)

IMAGINE Ouma was alive to hear him say that omg but Saihara could (and probably would) extend what he says here to Ouma himself- y’know, the ‘embodiment of lies’

by thinking about lies in a different angle instead of at face value like this, he gets a more neutral view on them rather than just thinking “they’re bad!!”, why wouldn’t he be able to do the same for Ouma? especially now that he knows Ouma was innocent and actually hated the game as much as they all did. I mean hey, even after chapter 5′s trial he sort of already thinks about lies differently

and throughout this post, I’ve tried to avoid talking about his free time events or his salmon mode ending because people always say “well they’re not canon” and to that I say not canon to the plot, yes, but still canon to the characters. so yeah, I don’t disregard any of them.

from this point onwards these all technically happen before chapter 5, so it’s not entirely relevant to my point that saihara still liked ouma even after the end of chapter 4, but it’s still something that shows he liked him beforehand at least. I mainly just wanna ramble though haha

one thing I’ve always thought was interesting was how Saihara easily lashed out at Kaito in his own free time event

and Kaito is undeniably Saihara’s best friend who he holds in high regard. If Saihara having backbone means he doesn’t like someone then damn bye bye momota have a nice trip in space

in terms of ouma and saihara though

how about the fact that Saihara willingly sat there and played rock paper scissors (janken pon!) with Ouma 100 times?? bruh I got bored playing that with my brother after 8 rounds yesterday how would Saihara manage 100?? would you really have the patience for that when you don’t even like the person you’re playing with?

how about his third free time event too?

(from justonegamr’s kokichi fte video)

Saihara wanted to spend some time with Ouma, that’s- its literally written there I don’t know what you want from me the guy wanted a nice time with someone he supposedly doesnt like

what I love about this is how “reaching out” could be taken both literally and figuratively. Wanting to understand someone and trying to find a way to but them being too unwilling to trust anyone.. damn 😔👊 also shuuichi either wanted to handshake or hold hands, what else do you do when you reach for someone’s hand come on

oh yes and how about that he’s content with the refusal because it allowed him to figure out a small thing about Ouma? understanding that Ouma has a different way of being reached out to? mhm please think about that for a bit

that parallel in the salmon ending too...

he considered how it’ll be like with him after they get out and how he’ll learn about him, then ultimately decided when ouma reached out to him that he does want this, and even comments on the warmth of his hand... afhskfdlj

his blush when ouma mentions how his lies didn’t bore saihara was also a very cute moment

ooh and what about the love hotel???

there’s that one line “I know i’m meant to be Kokichi’s ideal in this fantasy but when he tells me he loves me I feel like he means the opposite” or something like that- i’d argue it’s because he’s cautious of Ouma for one but also am I getting something wrong here or is he talking about how he, Shuuichi, thinks Ouma doesn’t like him? because I see people argue this is proof saihara doesn’t like ouma but all he’s really doing is just doubting ouma loves him

well in any case

WHY would he want him to stay in a love hotel of all places if he disliked him?! I know I’m just a broken record at this point but I can’t think of anything logical for it. they didnt even need to include that line in the scene at all but they did like they could’ve easily said something to do with realising where he was instead but nah. even after the event’s over, he says to himself

doesn’t he sound disappointed by it? and the fact that he even questions if it was a dream- okay

ooh, something i’ve realised while writing this as well: it kind of seems like Saihara might not want to like him but does anyway; he quickly ‘smothered the thought’ of staying with Kokichi, didn’t want to admit that Ouma’s lies never bored him, and I also thought about how in one of Kaito’s free time events he says to himself “I shouldn’t be talking about another boy like that”- well, maybe it’s similar for how he thinks of ouma? it’s not like Saihara didn’t care for the others’ opinion on him (probably the opposite ngl if you mess up in class trials he says something along the lines of“Ah I screwed up! They probably think I’m a fraud”) and considering nobody else liked ouma (except for maybe gonta) I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt shame for liking him, thus repressing that feeling (especially around the others, there’s that part in trial 4 where he’s trying to convince kaito he isn’t siding with ouma cause he knows by doing that could damage his friendship with his bro)

I mean this is something I only thought of just now, but it could be plausible (i hope?)

One last thing- I find it incredibly funny how in chapter 2 when ouma is literally on top of saihara he doesn’t freak out or scream and everyone else in the room is also completely chill with it and unquestioning. no really they’re just standing there.. and how long was ouma even in that position for??

Now, I think that’s all. So to finish off, I’ll just say

People get the idea that saiouma is bad because some don’t realise Saihara can still like a person without idolising or putting them on a pedestal. Idk if this is gonna sound controversial or not, but I honestly do think he did exactly that to Kaito and Kaede- which doesn’t make what they have with him toxic or bad at all, I just think his view on Ouma is a lot more realistic and less clouded. Heck, if Saihara canonically liked Ouma as much as he does with the other two I don’t know if I’d ship saiouma as hard as I do (it is fun to imagine though).

If you actually read through this then.. wow? I’m surprised you got through this unstructured mess? I hope you can agree with me for some of my points at least but I’m not here to convince you or anything, this has just been on my mind for weeks now I needed to get it out somehow.

I said it at the start and i’ll say it again now too- i didn’t intend on attacking or comparing saiou to any other ships so I do apologise if I seem like it, i’m just terrible with my wording (lmk if something genuinely offended you, i’ll probably change it) but you’re free to ship whatever you like cause at the end of the day it’s just a bit of fun. that being said, I don’t want to actually argue on this so please don’t haha, i’ve contemplated just deleting this but I’ve put a lot of effort into this post even though i cant analyse for 💩

I hope you can enjoy the rest of your day!

have the kokichi gaygun as a farewell present

566 notes · View notes

woeisme-iamwoe · 3 years

Text

an absolutely massive Haikyuu!! fic rec pt. 2

IwaOi this time around. My favorite ship. The world’s favorite ship...there’s so many

Undecipherable, by ioo (4k. G. canonverse)

I’m pretty sure the author meant ‘indecipherable’, nevertheless! I am appalled that this work doesnt have more hits. Y'all are sleeping on it and that's not okay.

The sound of the door slamming against the wall has Hajime startling back to the present. He looks at the source of the disturbance and finds himself face to face with Oikawa, red in the face with breathlessness and a leather-bound notebook tightly clutched in both of this hands. When he spots Hajime, he makes a beeline for the bench and slaps it down right next to him.

"Koi no yokan," he says. "The sense one can have upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall in love."

primavera, by tothemoon (8k. T. canonverse)

All of tothemoon’s works read so beautifully

They say it takes twenty-six years, for certain breeds to fully bloom.

Learning to Walk (So That We Can Run), by ricekrispyjoints (27k. M. canon-divergence)

I've read this work so many times. Like, so many times and I’ve never tired from it. Gorgeous. The shift from friendship to romance felt so natural, love it.

"I'm not healing like I should be."

In his second year of university, physical therapy just isn't cutting it. Oikawa's knee is getting worse, and he can't hide it anymore.

Or: the light angst, project-your-own-life-experiences-on-Oikawa knee surgery fic you didn't know you wanted.

Priorities, by weirdmilk (2k. T. canonverse)

Kissy, kissy.

‘I just -’ Oikawa begins, ‘it might be difficult to get married, sometimes, I think.’ He chews on his lip.

Iwaizumi makes a questioning noise.

‘Ah,’ Oikawa says, and then, in a rush, ‘if I didn't want a wife at all - what then? If I said that to you. If I told you I can’t see it. Like - the wedding dress. The bride. I just can’t see it.’

Iwaizumi swallows again, his heart beating much faster than the conversation warrants. He wonders whether Oikawa can hear it. ‘You’re eighteen. You aren’t supposed to see it yet.’ He snorts. ‘I mean - if we’re sharing shit, I’ve never even kissed a girl.’ He doesn’t mind admitting it. It’s not something that bothers him - he’s never prioritised girls very highly, and despite Oikawa’s largely undeserved status as Miyagi’s most eligible teenage bachelor, he doesn’t think Oikawa has ever wanted a serious relationship with any of his fan club, either.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi can't sleep before their first practice match with Karasuno.

Before Midnight, by fathomfive (2k. G. canonverse)

Reads like a fairytale.

The sky turns, the seasons turn over, and Iwaizumi and Oikawa track the movements of the stars. Nothing is ever quite constant, but it's close enough.

The grass is stiff with frost. They walk in silence past the raked-over vegetable garden and up the back hill, footsteps crackling, and stand side-by-side at the top of an incline that used to seem much bigger. Iwaizumi glances over but Oikawa’s already gone, eyes searching the sky with no hint of hurry, just a kind of reverent patience.

make a bet, keep a promise, by raewrites (13k. M. canonverse)

Bet still on.

Sometimes, in still moments, Iwaizumi wonders why out of all the people on earth he ended up with Oikawa Tooru. Why it’s his face that lingers on his fading conscious in the last moments before he falls asleep, in the first blurry seconds upon waking up again. Why when he looks to his side, he expects Oikawa to be there in the same way he expects to see five fingers on both hands, a natural extension of himself, ever present.

Why he can’t imagine a future without Oikawa in it.

It begins with a bet made between the two boys in the mid-summer of their eighth year. It starts with volleyball, but like with most things involving Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime, things are never quite that simple.

our hearts still beat the same, by knightswatch

two birds, by thelittlebirdthattoldyou (5k. T. canonverse)

Of heartbreaking letters and paper crane wishes.

Five months into the term, two months after he’s stopped replying to Oikawa’s texts, the first package arrives. A small square box, wrapped in brown paper and tied with string, and Hajime almost trips over it on the way to his dorm.

There’s a letter attached.

Oikawa doesn’t know how many times he’ll have to put his feelings down on paper before Iwaizumi believes them.

Through My Eyes, by anchoringsouls (2k. G. canonverse)

Okay! Okay, we were doing great with the soft, happy love up until the last part! That's great, just great!

“I think if you ever saw yourself through my eyes, you would fall in love with yourself the same way the way I did with you.”

in time it could be ours, by deusreks (3k. T. canonverse)

Anyone wanna go back in time and make a time capsule with me only to dig it up years later and we’re actually in love?

Set post Seijou's match with Karasuno. There's a moderate amount of rolling in the dirt. No pajamas were hurt in the writing of this fic.

There, in their joint backyard, was Oikawa Tooru, clad in his silly luminescent space pajamas, digging a hole near a cherry tree.

“What the hell, Oikawa.”

Tooru stubbornly continued digging. He looked pitiful in that moment; everything that was grand about him in daylight was meaningless in the darkness. He was only a boy with a shovel whose broken heart mirrored Hajime’s own.

we can do better than that, by spaceburgers (16k. M. canonverse)

Of course, of course, the IwaOi road trip fic. AnD thErE wAs ONly OnE bED!

Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.

They Say it Rains Diamonds on Jupiter, by exsao (35k. T. canonverse)

I don't know, just gorgeous. Hajime’s so in love.

"You're in love with him."

Hajime considers denying it. He considers deliberately choking on his drink to express surprise, to create a distraction by spitting onto the man in front of him's pristine white shirt and causing a commotion. Instead, he swallows his mouthful of soda and heaves a small sigh once his mouth is free.

"Yeah," he says instead.

He's never been good at lying, anyway.

Midnight boys/sunset town, by carafin (10k words. T. Housemates AU):

The author says they played off of the fact that Oikawa oftentimes forgoes his sleep in order to work, and wrote it so that he doesn't sleep at all. This was so cute, kinda sad, mostly not. Love how Iwaizumi just goes along with whatever crazy stilch Oikawa is on.

In which Iwaizumi Hajime grows a few chili plants, participates in an eating contest, breaks into a park, and falls in love with a man who doesn't ever sleep - not exactly in that order.

5 Reasons Why Iwaizumi Hajime's Flatmate Is A Complete Weirdo (An Incomplete List)

1. He's obsessed with that stupid bucket list of his.

2. He's the proud owner of seven truly ugly, criminally hideous movie posters with aliens on them, which he insists on pasting all over the damn living room.

3. He's always stealing Hajime's sweatshirts.

4. Sometimes, he wakes Hajime up for breakfast. At 5AM. On Saturday mornings.

5. He literally never, ever sleeps.

The Best I Ever Had, by FindingSchmomo (62k words. T. Canon-divergent):

You’ve read it, your mum’s read it, your dog has probably read it (you really need to take facial recognition for him off your phone, he’s got some weird nighttime habits). So basically this fic caused me physical pain and then pumped me full of morphine and now I’m good! Beautiful read, hated Oikawa for a while, Iwaizumi is the only boy I would ever feel safe alone with.

A story of separation and time lost. Oikawa and Iwaizumi lose contact, and life goes on. Now, a decade later and back in Japan, Oikawa wonders if he can pick the pieces back together, despite knowing Iwaizumi has moved on. A story of their past, present and future, pieced together by shaky hands.

darlin', your head's not on right, by aruariandance (13k words. T. canonverse)

Again, I’m pretty sure anybody who's anybody has read this fic and for good reason! Super sweet realizing you're in love fic. Makes me reconsider wanting to get married.

'“Our wedding,” Oikawa says by way of explanation, tapping his finger against his magazine more emphatically. “What colors should we use? Color scheme is important, apparently.”

Iwaizumi feels his lifespan shortening.

“I was thinking our Aoba johsai colors to go for more, you know, softer tones? Besides, I’ve always looked great in that sea foam green color. Oh, and I guess you look decent in it, too.” He grins, saccharine sweet, and Iwaizumi has never been so tempted to knock one of his perfect pearly white teeth right out of his stupid mouth."

or,

Oikawa teases Iwaizumi about a childhood promise he made to marry him when they were older, except suddenly it's not really a joke at all.

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle, by kittebasu (66k. T. canon divergent)

Is this one of the most famous Iwaoi fic? I don’t know. Looks like it, I know it's my personal favorite. Where Oikawa studies bugs for a living and can’t seem to come to terms with his feelings. Very angsty, love that in a fic.

Tooru is pretty sure he could manage the mating habits of a mosquito. It’s the mating habits of people he can’t seem to get right.

Terrarium, by sausaged (11k. T. Post-canon)

Honestly, I’m so surprised this fic doesnt have more hits! It’s so good! Made me ache! I love the memories and character growth shown through the growing of the terrarium, absolutely adore that kind of symbolism. So beautiful, give it some love because it's one of my absolute favorites.

He's practically a professional at being proactive (lies, lies, and lies when it comes to Iwaizumi).

At this point, is he really happy with just staying best friends forever? Will he be writing journals and collecting rocks forever (he will, he knows, but that is aside from the point)?

Can he really tag his Instagram photos with #YOLO if he doesn't actually put that phrase into practice?

A story about Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime, plants, and rocks.

Lips like sugar, by ohhotlamb (8k. T. canonverse)

Why did my childhood best friend never offer to help me practice kissing only for us to realize we were only interested in each other? I had a fake high school experience.

Hajime is offered to learn the art of kissing from a true professional, one Oikawa Tooru. It's not as bad as he thought it would be.

Falling Slowly, by bravely (commovente) (3k. T. canonverse)

So special, imagine loving one person, and one person only like this for the entirety of your life. This is getting too sappy, I want off of this ride.

over the years, some things change; but over the years, some things stay mostly the same.

(alternatively, mornings with oikawa and iwaizumi over the years).

No sleep in the city, by loveclouds (7k. T. canonverse)

Mass/volume = Iwaizumi, apparently. (Please. If anyone gets this absolutely horrific joke, lets elope).

Along their journey to find Tokyo's best ramen, Iwaizumi finds himself asked again and again why Oikawa is still single.

Time, by surveycorpsjean (5k. E. canonverse)

Growing older together.

When they're twenty-three, their story only begins.

Everything With You, by Ellessey (14k. E. canonverse)

Came damn near to crying, you can just feel Iwaizumi’s pain. Fight scene was probably the most emotion evoking one I’ve read in a long while.

‘Hajime still loves Oikawa, but he understands now. Oikawa can't look at him and see someone he could potentially date.

And that makes it easier to not focus on the little things that used to drive him crazy—Oikawa's long legs, the way he's always hanging off of Hajime, how his whole face changes when he gets ready for a jump serve, and he looks like he could take on the entire world and win.

This new arrangement though, this living together situation, is presenting a new set of variables that must be adjusted to, and the nakedness is one of them.’

For years, being Oikawa’s best friend has worked out fine. Hajime is hopelessly in love with him, but it’s enough. Then Oikawa—who, by all accounts, has never been anything but determinedly, assuredly straight—gets a boyfriend. Or a boy friend-with-benefits. Hajime doesn’t know, and he doesn’t give a shit about the definition.

What he knows is that remaining best friends is starting to seem a bit too painful (way too painful) to be considered a solid option.

The Best Best, by rikke (12k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Takeru is a whole mood. Don’t want kids, but I do want domesticity and this fic feeds me well.

“Congratulations, Iwa-chan! You’re a dad!” Iwaizumi hears as soon as the door opens. He’s dealt with Oikawa for all of his twenty-one years of age now, but this declaration is still sufficiently disturbing enough that he turns from his place on the couch and braces himself for whatever Oikawa has done this time.

Or the one where Iwaizumi and Oikawa babysit Takeru for a week.

cheek kisses, by ohhotlamb (G. 3k. Future fic)

Sooo cute!!

“Every time,” Hajime murmurs, “every time I see you again I remember how fuckin’ crazy I am about you.”

Routine, by snoqualmie (2k. T. canonverse)

Again, anyone wanna be my childhood best friend so we can put face masks on each other and fall in love? I died, truly.

Iwaizumi is fourteen years old, horny too often and angry all the time, and he’s just starting to notice that Tooru’s legs are really long, that his lips are kinda soft looking, and his fingers feel good pressed under his jaw.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad, by sunsmasher (19k. G. canon divergence)

Be wary, I would give this fic an upper rating to probably Teen and the follow-up fic is Explicit. But, Oikawa on the Japanese national team is just a dream as is, but add in a rekindling friendship and an angsty make out sesh? Mwah, delizioso.

It’s July 10th, 2024, and Oikawa Tooru is an Olympian. His smiling face airs on an NHK promo every 45 seconds. He’s captain of the national men’s volleyball team, reigning star of the professional leagues, and he hasn't spoken to Iwaizumi Hajime in two years.

He has, however, sent Iwaizumi tickets for the 2024 Los Angeles Summer Games.

“So go,” says Matsukawa's voice. “It’s only a few weeks. You’ve got a whole city to hide in if it gets awkward, and if it doesn’t get awkward, well…”

It’s like watching the future reconfigure, like being in high school again, watching team after team fall to Oikawa’s faultless planning and shameless charm.

“I’ll get to watch a whole lot of volleyball,” Hajime says, and resigns himself to fate and/or Oikawa Tooru.

“Hey, when you get there, can you bag a gymnast for me?” Hanamaki asks, and Matsukawa squawks.

Chasing Paper Suns, by carafin (10k. T. Future fic)

Again with the growing up and coming back together, this time with more angst than the last. Lovely, really lovely read.

Post-high school, Oikawa makes it to the national volleyball team but Iwaizumi doesn't. The next three years become an exercise in growing up without growing apart.

Some days Hajime likes to think of himself as Oikawa’s counterpart—the two of them blending into a single devastating unit, the invincible setter and his unyielding ace, the bond between them unbreakable and true. Other days he feels like he is chasing after a rising sun, always running and running with his eyes fixed on the distance, trying to cross a chasm that stretches on without end, caught in an endless and exhausting pursuit.

the yellow room, by ohhotlamb (14k. T. canonverse/future fic)

Makki and Mattsun see bullshit and call you out on your bullshit.

“I told you, we broke up like six months ago. We’re not dating anymore.”

Hanamaki eyes him suspiciously. “You live together.”

“Yeah, so?”

“There are pictures of you two kissing stuck to your refrigerator.”

Hajime shrugs. “That wasn’t my idea. Anyways, they’re good pictures. Good lighting.”

the river runs, by tothemoon (11k. T. post-breakup)

My heart ACHES. Happy ending, promise! Just read it.

One year since their breakup, Oikawa Tooru starts a list of daily reminders, tips, and tricks called HOW TO FORGET ABOUT IWAIZUMI HAJIME, and he’s determined to make it stick.

—

This is a firsthand account of how to deal (and rather spectacularly, at that).

I sure hope that guy gets fired, by Xov (29k. T. canonverse/time loop au)

The only thing better than one confession, is MULTIPLE confessions. Oikawa trusts Iwaizumi unshakably, and that's beautiful.

It was the fourth time experiencing the exact same day that Iwaizumi Hajime reluctantly admitted to himself that something was very wrong.

my only friend was the man in the moon (until i met you), by ohhotlamb (7k. T. canonverse)

Just so innocent and sweet. Oikawa said ‘effort’.

In which Oikawa has a life-altering revelation, and Hajime is starting to think it involves him.

Bet On It, by originalblue (13k. E. canonverse)

Tooru being nice for a week? That can only end one way… with a d*ck in Hajime’s mouth.

Hajime knows exactly how shitty Oikawa's personality is, and has no scruples whatsover about betting Oikawa six thousand yen that he can't be nice for an entire week.

especially for tender ones like us, by viverella (17k. T. canonverse/post break-up)

Gods! See? See what I mean? How could I forget about a work as heart wrenchingly beautiful as this? Give it some love, actually, all of the love.

The worst part of it all, Tooru thinks to himself sometimes, is that even as they fought and kicked and screamed and tore each other to shreds, it was never that Tooru stopped loving Iwaizumi any less. The worst part of it all, he thinks, is that loving Iwaizumi turned out to not be enough.

(OR: on finding the right person at the wrong time and learning how to pick up the pieces)

sunset town, by skiecas (33k. T. canon-divergent)

Another work that I just CANNOT understand why it doesn't have more hits. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. I almost cried.

In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

Two years down the road, reconciling his lifelong dream with his lifelong love proves to be the greatest challenge.

of odd numbers and intimate regrets, by bravely (commovente) (5k. T. post-canon/one night stand au)

Basically, Tooru and Hajime sleep together after not speaking for seven years and of course there’s feelings and angst and a belated chance at happiness and a life together.

Tooru’s spent the last seven years of his life in a carefully constructed schedule that is, he realises now, as much a habit as it was a way to forget about the person in front of him.

[or, the one night stand AU between two people more than friends but not quite lovers, measuring the passage of time in distance and long-gone memories, the expansion and contraction of the spaces between their fingers each time.]

cross my heart, open wide, by acchikocchi (7k. T. canonverse)

Super cute, super short. Realizing you're on a date with the wrong person one-shot.

For a minute Hajime doesn't know what to say. Everything and nothing crowds his mind, leaving no room to think. That he's never tried this. That volleyball's over. That he's graduating in five months. That it would be really nice, at least once, to go on a date with a good-looking guy.

Hajime goes on a date. It's not with Oikawa.

Fernweh, by oikawashoyo (19k. G. canonverse/post time skip)

A mature(ish) Tooru?? I love works that show Tooru growing and living happily in Argentina and this one is just beautiful. (Plus! Plus, Skai did a piece on it as well and I love ALL their work so you can visualize everything). Love it.

Argentina is stretching out before him, an opportunity, a challenge. He is reminded of his losses, his insecurities, his disappointments; sees them form a tall, tall wall blocking his path to success. He takes a deep breath and knows he is going to shatter it.

In which Oikawa's whole life is spent longing for the horizon — in the form of a dream, a home, and a boy.

i breathe easily in your arms, by orphan_account (2k. M. canonverse)

Soft, soft sex

When, after completing their high school graduation ceremony and heading home to enjoy their freedom, Oikawa had pulled him into his room and pressed his lips hesitantly against Iwaizumi’s own, it seemed an inevitable development in the unfolding narrative of their shared existence.

Despite years of having a bed to himself, the sensation of another body taking up space in his sheets, curling against his chest, creating warmth, feels natural in much the same way.

old and new, by Mysecretfanmoments (5k. T. canon divergence)

Finally a fic where they don't freak out on confession and it's sweet.

“You seem—sad.” Was that the right word? Others sprang to mind: desperate, lonely, anxious.

Tooru looked away. “Are you going to make me say it?”

“Say what?”

Tooru folded his arms, sighed. “I missed you, of course.”

Hajime swallowed.

“No need to look that way. I told you, I’m not one of your macho man buddies. I’m allowed to say stuff like that without being embarrassed—”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Hajime complained. “No need to be so defensive. I’ve missed you too.”

“Oh?” Tooru seemed to get a little of his own back, leaning forward on his elbows. “What about me did you miss?”

((Going to separate universities, Hajime and Tooru learn the true meaning of "distance makes the heart grow fonder"))

all i wanted was you, by spaceburgers (6k. E. college/fwb au)

This was more emotional than I thought a 6k friends with benefits fic could be, okay? Okay.

Wherein Hajime and Tooru are fuck buddies, Hajime curses his treacherous heart, and Tooru is bad with feelings.

we shine like diamonds, by whitemiists (26k. T. canon divergence)

I couldn't not include this work. It deals with internalized homophobia so well and I really resonate with it.

In all seriousness, I’m very lucky to live in a country where my sexuality is widely accepted and my heart goes out the LGBTQIA+ peoples who are forced to hide themselves. You are loved and your sexuality and gender-identity are not wrong and never will be.

Oikawa is nine when he first hears the word. The boys on the playground whisper it like it's dirty, like the way they daringly mutter the word fuck and then look over their shoulders to check their parents hadn't heard.

"You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."

Look For Him, by Leryline (18k. E. canonverse)

A collection of kisses. I love Hajime’s grandmother.

She laughs gently. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so heartbroken before, Hajime.”

Iwaizumi sighs and prods at the mackerel with a chopstick. “Sorry. I can’t help it. It’s just different, you know? Like Oikawa pissed me off so much that now he’s not here I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“But you weren’t always annoyed with him, were you?” his grandmother smiles serenely and takes a sip of her tea. “My, my, Hajime, old women see everything. I saw you out there with my finches, when you were kissing Tooru’s nose. Your mother and father used to do the very same thing, you know, when they were younger. And look how long they’ve lasted. I hope you and Tooru last, Hajime. He’s very good for you.”

Oikawa has kissed Iwaizumi more times than either of them can count; it’s a constant thing, their lips never really leaving the other’s skin. There are, however, times when they’ve kissed that are burned into their memories. Eight of them, to be precise.

film reel life, arsenicjay (8k. T. canon divergence)

Such a unique and creative idea! Reading from the eyes of a camera, so beautiful!

The only person Iwaizumi is lying to is himself, when he insists: I am not in love with Oikawa Tooru.

how to let your planets align, by tether (tothemoon) (15k. T. end of the world au)

This is the only remotely non-happy ending fic I will be including on here, and it's purely because it's a gorgeous read. And yes, I ached. Your lips, my lips, apocalypse.

It is the last day on earth, December 2nd, 1985, when you realize you're in love with him.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fic #haikyuu fic rec #iwaoi #iwaizumi x oikawa #Iwaizumi Hajime #oikawa tooru

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reinerispretty · 4 years

Note

I love your writing 🥺 Can you do a Sokka imagine where the reader is a firebender so Sokka doesnt take well to her joining the gaang at first, and they always bicker/ throw sarcastic comments at each other and the gaang is so sick of it! But one day they are forced to be alone together (they go on a mission?) and sparks fly n they kiss or something 😳 they return to camp and the gaang is like... ok why r u guys tolerating eachother and u guys r inseparable and super couply from then on!

hi!! sorry i’m just now getting to this!! i like to put lots of effort into my requests so i wanted it to be the best it could be :D hope you enjoy!!

---

(Y/N) had always been very proud of her firebending. Not everyone in the town she had grown up in were benders, so being able to bend one of the elements was a great honor. Because of her powers, she was on track to join the Fire Nation military. These plans changed of course, as soon as she met the Avatar and his friends. She had helped them escape capture and joined them on their adventures. They were all pretty hesitant about her joining, but eventually Toph vouched for her by saying that she wasn’t lying when she told them all she had ever wanted was to help people.

(Y/N) had been traveling with their group for a few weeks and was slowly starting to build friendships with the other members of her group. Aang absolutely refused to learn firebending from her, but watched and laughed as she made little dragon puppets out of fire after dinner. She and Toph became fast friends, as they both had a similar wit and nonchalance about life. Katara took a bit to fully warm up to her, but (Y/N) was relentless and eventually they could exchange pleasant conversation as they cooked dinner. Even Appa licked her when she brought him hay, and Momo had started sharing his berries with her. The only person who didn’t like her at all was Sokka.

“I don’t want a firebender joining us,” He had said pointedly when she first joined the group. He had been outvoted, of course, and now whenever (Y/N) did anything, he had something to say in return. If she arranged the sleeping bags, he complained about their positioning. If she made dinner that night, he complained about the taste. It seemed like he went out of his way to make her feel bad.

Initially (Y/N) had tried to understand. The Fire Nation had hurt his people, so it was only natural that he was apprehensive toward her. But then his words started to hurt. One day, he had mentioned that she had betrayed her own people, so it would only be a matter of time until she betrayed them, too, and (Y/N) had had enough. She threw her bowl of soup to the ground and stood up. “What’s your problem?” She demanded.

“My problem is with you,” He spat. “You’re Fire Nation, you can’t be trusted.”

“Don’t you think that if I had even thought about turning you all in to the Fire Lord, I would have done it already?”

“I don’t know what goes on in your little spy brain!”

“I know what goes on in your brain: absolutely nothing!” She let out a frustrated scream and turned on her heel, marching into her tent. The rest of the group stared at Sokka awkwardly.

“She’s such a piece of work,” He grumbled, sipping on his soup. “Can you believe her?”

Over the next few weeks, whenever Sokka said an insult toward (Y/N) she’d shoot one right back. If he wanted to be a pain in her side, fine. She’d be one in his, too.

“You sure your twig arms can handle that firewood?” She asked him as he brought wood for their campfire.

“Hey, at least I’m doing something. What, are you too busy plotting how to take over the world to help?”

Their conversations were just insults and sarcastic quips, and eventually the rest of the group started to get sick of it. One night, as they sat at dinner, (Y/N) and Sokka were bickering because they had been forced to sit beside each other. Toph drove a piece of earth between them and flung them in opposite directions. “Would you guys quit it!” The girl shouted. “I only have four out of the five senses and you guys are driving them all crazy!”

“Sorry, Toph,” (Y/N) apologized, brushing herself off. “You know how he is.”

“Me?” Sokka exclaimed. “Toph, you know how she is!”

“You arrogant, good for nothing--”

“Ow!” Aang shouted, clutching his foot. The group stopped to look at him. “Ow, ow, ow, I think I stepped on something. My foot really hurts!” Katara rushed over to take a look and furrowed her brows.

“I don’t--”

“Oh, Sokka,” Aang sighed. “I don’t think I can go on that mission with you tomorrow, my foot just hurts too bad!” He gave Katara a big wink.

“Oh, of course!” She said, finally getting what Aang was trying to do. “I have to stay here and help Aang heal. I’ll need Toph’s help, too, so (Y/N) is the only one who can go on the mission with you.”

“I’d rather go alone,” Sokka said, crossing his arms.

“Please, how are you going to defend yourself if you don’t have a bender with you?” (Y/N) asked with a roll of her eyes. Sokka balled his fists and stormed off to his tent, mumbling angry, incoherent sentences. (Y/N) yawned and retreated back to her tent for the night.

“I’m not really injured,” Aang said.

“Really?” Toph deadpanned. “Couldn’t tell.”

“I just wanted a break from the two of them. They’re always fighting!”

“Who knows,” Katara said with a smile. “Maybe the trip will bring them closer together.”

The next morning, (Y/N) and Sokka begrudgingly walked side-by-side to their mission. They were doing a stake out of some Fire Navy ships to see what kind of weapons they were storing on them. They climbed up to a tall hillside, where they could comfortably watch the ships. As long as they were quiet, they wouldn’t bring any attention to themselves.

Sokka’s plan was to stay there for a full twenty-four hours. Every time (Y/N) thought about being around him that long, she nearly gagged, but she had to swallow it down because she knew this mission would be for the greater good. Hopefully, there would be more watching than talking.

They set up their tents behind some rocks so they would not look suspicious. And then, they sat. And they sat for a long time. (Y/N) was growing increasingly bored, just watching soldiers go in and out of the ships. She sighed, laying back down on the grass.

“What exactly are we looking for?”

“Nothing.” She propped herself up on her elbows.

“Excuse me?”

“We aren’t looking for anything. Well, not anything specific. I just want to know what kind of weapons they’re using so I can write to the Mechanist to create better ones for us.”

“So...we’re just going to watch?”

“Do you not know what a stake out is?”

“I do! I just didn’t know it was going to be a full day of doing absolutely nothing.”

“Look, if you don’t want to be here, fine. You can go back to the camp. I can handle myself.” (Y/N) scoffed.

“I’m not leaving you here alone, Sokka.”

“Then I suggest you stop complaining.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes and reached into her bag. She pulled out two sandwiches and laid them beside her. “What are those?”

“Food,” She said, sliding a sandwich over to him. He took it suspiciously. “It’s not poisoned, you dummy. I got up early this morning and went to the market so I could make stake out snacks.”

“Oh, thanks. I guess.”

“You’re welcome.”

They sat in silence for what felt like a lifetime. (Y/N) watched the soldiers intently and had even made up backstories for some of them. The smaller soldier was named Lee, and he was a fiesty little fellow, but he was a new recruit. He had good ideas, but no one really wanted to listen to him because he lacked authority. (Y/N) sighed as she watched him talk to his commanders. Poor Lee.

“I recognize that one,” she said suddenly, pointing at one of the soldiers. “He and I went to training camp together one summer.”

“Oh, so that’s your friend. Great.” (Y/N) furrowed her brows.

“I never said he was my friend.”

“I just assumed, since you were both all ‘Go Fire Nation!’“ He sarcastically pumped a fist into his air.

“You make a lot of assumptions about me for someone who doesn’t know me.”

“I know exactly who you are. You’re a spoiled girl from the Fire Nation who wasn’t satisfied with her life and only wanted to join us to run away from your probably mean family. You don’t want to make change, you just wanted an out.”

“That’s not true at all, Sokka. I grew up poor. Dirt poor. And when I say that I mean it, because the floors of my house were literally dirt. No one asked me if I wanted to join the Fire Nation military, they told me I was going to. I was brought up my whole life surrounded by people who told me how great my nation was. If everyone’s telling you something and you have no reason to believe otherwise, you start to believe it. I know I’m not perfect, but I’m really tired of you thinking that you know who I am.” She pulled her knees into her chest and tucked her chin on top of them.

Sokka sighed. The sun was setting behind them. “It’s obvious I don’t like the Fire Nation. They’ve caused a lot of pain to me and Katara and to thousands of other people. So when you joined, I guess I just projected that anger onto you.”

“I understand. But I’m not the entire Fire Nation.”

“I know, it’s just hard to separate the two sometimes. I can literally see the Fire Nation inside of you. You’re decisive and strong and stubborn--”

“I’m just going to focus on the first two. You really think those things about me?”

“I mean, yeah. I’ve seen you talk your way out of fights but also kick some major butt. As much as I hate to say it, you’re pretty cool.” (Y/N) smiled and opened her mouth to respond, but her eyes widened as a giant fireball plummeted toward them.

“Look out!” She shouted, tackling Sokka out of the way. They both grunted in pain as they hit the ground.

“How did they even see us?” Sokka asked. He grabbed (Y/N) by the hand and led her up the hill. They abandoned all of their camping stuff (as it was currently on fire) and ran down the backside of the hill, away from the Fire Navy ships. (Y/N) spotted a cave and pulled Sokka inside. They both leaned against the cool rock, breathing heavily.

“Well, so much for the stake out,” (Y/N) said. Sokka laughed.

“We’ll have to wait here for the night. The ships are supposed to leave at dawn tomorrow, so we can travel back to camp then.” (Y/N) nodded. The sun had fully set behind them and the cool chill of night was setting in. She shivered. “I can get a fire going,” Sokka said, and began to collect the debris that was scattered around the cave. (Y/N) giggled.

“Sokka, I got it.” She kicked some leaves and sticks into a pile and kicked a flame on top of them. They sat across from each other with their backs against the cave walls.

“So, how’d you know you were a firebender?” He asked. (Y/N) shrugged.

“I think I started coughing fire one day. My family expected it though. My father had been a firebender.” She pursed her lips and stared at the ground. “He was sent to fight in the war. He didn’t end up coming home.”

“I’m so sorry,” Sokka said quietly. She shrugged.

“I feel torn about it, you know? Because he fought for hatred and injustice, but I also never got to find out if he supported the war or not. The Fire Nation doesn’t really care if you want to fight. They make you do it anyway.”

“I always wanted to fight, ever since I was little.” Sokka said. “But now while I’m living my dream, I see how nasty it actually is and understand why my dad didn’t want me to.”

“Well, you’re a pretty good fighter, so I’m sure he’s proud of you.” Sokka smiled.

“I’m sure your dad is proud of you, too.” (Y/N) grinned. “Listen, I’m sorry for being so mean to you. I guess I was projecting feelings on to you that I had towards the Fire Nation, and it wasn’t fair. But in my defense, everything you did just made me mad. Like the way you cooked soup, or how pretty your eyes were, or how nice your laugh sounded...” Sokka trailed off, a blush appearing on his cheeks. “I said that all out loud, didn’t I?”

(Y/N) nodded, trying her best to contain her smile. “Alright,” Sokka said. “You can just kill me now, I guess.” (Y/N) burst into laughter.

“It’s really okay, Sokka. I’m sorry for being mean to you as well. Everything you did made me mad, like how you constantly teased me, or how cute your ponytail looks, or how funny your jokes were...”

“You...you really think my jokes are funny?” (Y/N) nodded before sliding to sit at his side. “Can I try something?” (Y/N) nodded again. Their faces were just inches apart and she could tell the fire was dying by the dim glow it left on Sokka’s cheeks. He touched her own cheek with his hand, before pulling her close and slowly connecting their lips. (Y/N) felt her face grow hot, but she still let her eyes close and reveled in the feeling of his kiss. They stayed like that for a while, long after the fire went out.

When they returned to their friends the next morning, they walked hand in hand. Aang and Katara’s mouths dropped open and Toph stamped her feet on the ground. “There must be something wrong,” She said. “Are they...touching each other?”

“Hey, guys!” Sokka said, a bright smile on his face. “Aang, how’s the foot doing?”

“Uh, pretty good,” Aang said, pretending to lift his foot as if it were injured.

“What’s um...going on here?” Katara asked.

“Sokka and I had a pretty good stake out,” (Y/N) said. She let her hand slip from his. “I’m gonna get started on lunch.”

“Alrighty,” Sokka said before planting a kiss on her cheek. He sighed happily as he watched her walk away. “Aang, I really have to thank you for pretending to hurt your foot.”

---

Permatag List!

@musicalkeys , @aroyaldarknessblr

#writing #sokka x reader #atla #avatar the last airbender #katara #aang #sokka #zuko x reader #aang x reader #toph #iroh #zuko #azula #momo #appa #fanfiction

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jennrypan · 3 years

Text

I rewrote the part where Scourge and Sonic have that "Just like me convo" so it can fit my au of them.

____________________

Fiona cheating on him with his anti didnt make Sonic angry..

Fiona actively lying to him didnt piss him off, maybe annoyed him..but it didnt piss him off.

What did piss him off however was how she antagonized Amy and Tails, and how she seemed to preen at the slightest attention Scourge gave her..because she wanted someone to protect her..someone to care about her, he didnt know..and what set him off was how she slapped Tails away, mocked him for crying and all to impress his anti!

"What the hell Fiona!?"

Sonic snapped, though this just caused the vixen to roll her eyes before she looked at him..god her attitude was grating his nerves,

"What?" She mused as if she didnt just slap his best friend for no reason,

That ..that made him scowl, and without warning he moved- he wanted to actually..throw her, her attitude annoyed him, her disregard for his friends pissed him off- he hadnt accounted for Scourge actually protecting her, as when he moved..so did the green hedgehog and before he could touch Fiona a fist crushed into his cheek causing him to let out a sharp grunt and lose his footing for a brief minute, instantly turning his attention towards Scourge..he still had that same sleazy smile..taunting.

"Bad move, blue."

Scourge drawled out, and Sonic just clicked his tongue watching as Scourge slowly paced around him..hes been itching to fight him for who knows how long..that much Sonic knew, but Sonic just hummed,

"Oh so you can help other people besides yourself, I was beginning to worry you had no redeeming qualities!" He stated sounding visibly amused,

Scourge just scoffed lowly, "Please, thats not a redeemin quality, raise your standards." He sneered, and without warning he ran forward..and the fight began.

Amy had since charged at Fiona but Sonic could barely focus on that as Scourge kept matching him blow for blow..only thing was Scourge was a lot more violent..a lot more aggressive.

It wasnt everyday Sonic worked up a sweat fighting an opponent as not many people matched his speed..Shadow and Metal were the only ones..now Scourge had been added to that list of people that seem to want to kill him for no reason.

"Jeez its hard to believe someone so bitter could be me, like damn dude, did your favorite jacket get discontinued?"

Even during this fight Sonic didnt stop being taunting, as he landed on top of a rock- narrowly avoiding being kicked into a tree, watching as Scourge turned towards him, his eyes were surprisingly still shielded by his shades but Sonic could still feel him glaring at him,

Scourge moved again and this time he successfully swiped Sonics legs from underneath him and when Sonic fell the blue hedgehog instinctively moved to the side as Scourges fist came crashing into the floor were his head had previously been,

"Lets see you keep makin jokes when I break your fuckin legs." Scourge hissed- despite his words he sounded delighted by the thought, pleased with the thought of hurting him and hes use to this from Shadow and Metal, they were both assholes who worked with Eggman on their worst days and they just genuinely didnt like him that much but Scourge? Theyve only met three times before this and he didnt remember antagonizing the male enough to make him want to hurt him that much-

Scourge charged forward once more and Sonic quickly moved to the side, arm pulling back before he crashed his fist into the side of Scourges face as he had done to him earlier..knocking the shades from his face which caused his anti to pause briefly, glancing down at the shades for a millisecond as they landed on the floor, cracked and lopsided.

That millisecond was soon forgotten as Scourge retaliated..his body moved lower and his leg rose before he kicked Sonic straight in the chest causing the male to grunt, stumbling back at the force but the kick wasnt enough as Scourge had soon punched him in the stomach,

"God- I still got a few more jokes- first, those shades were lame anyways- not a joke but a fact!"

Sonic stated quickly, jumping out of the way from Scourge once more as the male just growled,

"Im not takin shit from someone who thinks 'Way past cool' is a thing people actually say!" Scourge retorted,

"Hey people said it before!"

"No ones ever said that shit before!"

It went on like this for what seemed like a few minutes with both of them arguing with each other, Sonic just wanted to see exactly why Scourge was going out of his way to hurt him- even trying to actually break his leg if he was given the chance..the rage was so weird..he knew antis were different but he didnt expect his anti to be so..angry, so violent- his anti seemed more like a very verbal Shadow with the way he kept attacking him,

"Ya know being an asshole isnt as rewarding as ya think it is right?"

Sonic questioned- grunting when he got into a tree, thankfully avoiding Amy as she chased Fiona around still, she had tried to help but Fiona kept distracting her.

"Pfft, its more rewardin than wastin my time saving a buncha useless dicks who dont deserve it!" Scourge replied, sounding amused by the sheer thought of saving someone else...Sonic couldnt imagine not wanting to save people..yeah sometimes he thought some people didnt deserve it but still,

"Youre still a Sonic! Still me- you should want to at least try and help people!"

"Why? Cuz thats what you do?"

Scourge just laughed and without warning he moved forward..punched him in the stomach, then his chest- he didnt wait for a retaliation as he kicked him into a tree, he found with the purpose to bruise and scar while Sonic fought to distance and distract-

His head spun for a split moment, the wind knocked out of him,

"You dont get it! Rulin people with fear and hate, is soo much better than tryna be some glorified saint!"

Scourge stated, his eyes were blazing..the rage was back..he looked nothing like him right now..something was off, Sonic didn't like how unhinged he was, how cruel-

"That isnt true, and it never will be."

Sonic declared and Scourge just sneered at him, laughing, fist pulling back as Sonic quickly moved from his spot, his knuckles slammed into bark instead of Sonics nose,

"When you finally realize not everyone deserves to be saved, when you see how much more freein it is to be above people than to depend on them- you'll be like me, all it takes is one bad day, one bad situation and you'll see that." Scourge hummed out, side stepping as Sonic went to kick him, only to have his leg grabbed and he was forcefully thrown down, causing him to grunt lowly, and without warning Scourge stepped on his chest, Sonic could only stare at him for a brief moment before he just grinned-

"Thats where your wrong dude, a bad day doesnt just make someone a villain..but a good day? A good day could change a lot, all it takes is someone showing you an ounce of kindness, someone showin you the love you never got and you'll be like me, a good person..maybe even a hero." He stated, grinning.

He expected another mocking laugh instantly, expecting Scourges foot to press down but for a brief minute..the green hedgehog paused, eyes widening ever so slightly, and for that minute Sonic was sure he got to him..he knew deep down Scourge wasnt evil, he could just show him he didnt have to be like this, he could help him..he didnt know anything about his anti besides the fact something was severely wrong with his mental state and he took too much enjoyment in hurting him but he knew he wasnt evil.

Then.. the green hedgehog just smiled, his expression hardening as if it hadnt changed in the first place,

"How naive."

He sneered and that slowly shattered Sonics hopes of getting through to him..he just dismissed his words-

"Not naive..hopeful." Sonic retorted, moving his arm to grab his ankle but his foot had moved towards his neck and Sonic jolted- the malice in his eyes was so..floundering..he could never imagine that look on his own face.

"Same thing." Scourge stated dismissively, and Sonic didnt get the chance to reply as a blur of yellow and brown crashed into Scourge, pushing the older teen to the ground successfully allowing Sonic to sit up instantly,

"Get away from him you bully!" Tails screamed, Sonic heard Scourge cursing and soon Tails was thrown back, causing Sonic to quickly move to catch him.

"Thanks bud." Sonic murmured, staring at Scourge who just fixed his jacket- appearing inconvenienced as Fiona neatly landing besides him as Amy ran up next to Sonic, "Stop running you coward!" The pink hedgehog hissed, Scourge just plucked out a warp ring from his jacket, just smiling at Sonic.. His smile was so..mean looking, it was too sharp..too fake,

"Til next time blue."

Was all Scourge said in a sing song like voice as he let Fiona into the portal first and he followed quickly after just as Amy chucked her hammer in their direction, who she was aiming at specifically he had no clue.

"Dammit! Stupid! Assholes, ugh!" Amy screamed, storming over to snatch her hammer up,

"Theyre such bullies! Why did I even like her!" Tails exclaimed, Sonic just frowned before he sighed quietly, glancing from Amy to Tails.

"Lets just go, theyre gone now, might as well enjoy the peace." He stated with a simple shrug, giving them a small smile, the smile made Amy visibly melt while it comforted Tails slightly, the young pink hedgehog was at his side instantly, clutching his arm- which he allowed for the time being while Tails was a little slower to approach him, still dejected.

He knew his anti despised him but he'll never get the reason why, and unfortunately..Scourge was too far gone to talk down from whatever path he was taking..the friendly route was no longer an option.

#j.p writes #sonic one shot #sonic au #sonic the hedgehog #scourge the hedgehog #tails the fox #amy rose #sonamy if you squint #archie comies #archie sonic #not shippy. cuz no #scourge get therapy challenge #sonic rewrite

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pwurrz · 3 years

Note

have a good nap! ok i wanna preface by saying a lot of what i "defend" kizami with is both either projection, speculation or both. COPA is kinda a mess and likes being vague and occasionally shitty and ablest and whatnot. mmy defense is that kizami's writing is both misunderstood and just... plain ablest. also none of this is because we have a kizami in our system he is a cool and chill dude whos been here sense forever, however he left front like 2 months ago. this is gonna be written without talking ab system stuff and with a collective "i".

I want to start early canonically in his life. He does not have a good relationship with his parents and siblings which is just said outright to be a delusion that he is always being lied to, and when they say they care about him, that he thinks theyre lying to get him vulnerable. However, I want to go farther as to say he may be somewhat rational in this sentiment. In book of shadows, the flashback he has to his siblings has them lash out both emotionally and physically at him for harming animals. This is left unaddressed. As someone who struggles with thoughts to hurt animals and paranoia I kinda felt for him, with a lot of pent up fear, its easy (especially at a young age) to change fear into anger. he felt trapped and probably projected that fear into outward aggression. he also was left in the shadow of his siblings, struggling with getting attention, and when he did it was either because he acted out or what he assumed was lies, he would have grown up in a household where he learned social behavior was synonymous with aggression. he was also taught that violence is the answer when someone does something that upsets him.

moving foreword to his implied early school life, i want to say i dont think he was telling the truth when he said kensuke was never his friend. i want to say that so soon after discussing his fears others arent honest with him about caring at all, and his paranoia connected to relationships because i think that statement is clearly connected. ill get onto that later. Its mentioned he was violent towards students and staff, as well as more open about his tendencies to hurt animals. However, for some reason even direct talks about this doesnt harm his relationship with kensuke. the continue being friends even as kizami makes questionable decisions that lead his parents to somewhat fear interacting with him at all.

so this becomes interesting, because while the wiki states he did this as a manipulative front on purpose, i dont remember where anything EVER said that was true, but kizami seems to have mellowed out by highschool. when asked about him, kensuke speaks fondly of him, and apparently he isnt the subject of gossip, and nobody really has anything bad to say about him, even though he assaulted a kid in elementary with school supplies. he seems to have become of grounded and centered, which once again, yeah i felt that it was the same way for me in school. after facing fear on that level for so long, you just develop this "i dont care anymore. i cant care anymore." heavyheartedness where things dont really scare you anymore. thats just what paranoid disorders do. speaking of his mental health, kizami says in a self monologue he has never had empathy. while im sure this is just an ablest thing they wrote in to make him scarier considering hes supposed to be a "sociopath" as someone with ASPD... i took that personally. having a paranoid disorder as a child is very traumatizing, adding that with the re-enforcement of his fears, its plausible to say yuuya is antisocial, at least from my standpoint of an antisocial person.

early on in their exploration of heavenly host, yuuya is the rock of the group. he is rational, calm in the face of panic and danger, and doesnt even bend as low as to get in petty fights, even when threatened by kai. However ,its safe to say he isnt *enjoying* any of this, and is just not portraying panic like anyone else. He plays the part of the listener and doesnt talk a lot, hes probably somewhat shut down and tired from the shock of the situation. This is where the bad decisions start.

Yuuya kicks ryosuke down the stairs in a last ditch attempt to get ohkawa to stop mindlessly panicking and prove hes dead. this is just outright said, and is canonically the others misunderstanding him. he makes a bad decision under pressure, and in return, gets a punishment that doesnt make sense to him. this is where i bring in the idea that yuuya falls victim to the curse of the school, rather than having done all the murdered consciously, and that he has been effected more and more the longer he had been staying so far. while this is brought up in ohkawa's death, where he says he isnt even yuuya anymore, i offer this extra evidence.

yuuya genuinely enjoys working with kids.

he states he wished he had been an older brother, that if he had a younger sibling he would make a point to do a better job than his older siblings did. he wants someone to protect and watch over, which is why i think undoubtedly, the factions of the possessed kizami are entirely not his own, rather twisted, perhaps even opposite actions of his beliefs. he makes an effort to hurt yuka, which is entirely against his own personal moral code. he says kensuke was never his friend. hes loud, and makes a show of himself. he makes an effort to kill anyone who crosses paths with him. (except morishige, i guess. but thats a whole can of worms. im trying to stay centered on his own school) even though from what we have seen from a highschool kizami, he seems withdrawn, quiet, mindful of other's injuries and generally more afraid of what others think of him than anything else.

i dont want to go on for too long, but i want to say something even though it sounds gross to me. i hate to sound like those stupid school councilors i hated so much, but yuuya is genuinely relatable and i think he could have had it a bit better if he had some kind of hobby to put his energy into. instead of anyone giving him time, and teaching him how to use his emotions in a way that didnt hurt others, they literally struck him, and removed him from their life as much as they could. when hurting people for attention stopped working, he became lost. leading up to the even i would say, he probably felt tense, and considering kensuke is popular in highschool, probably was worried he was losing his only friend. and i dont know how to paint that kind of worry from a pro-social standpoint, because im not one, but he probably felt angry others were spending more time with him, seeing kensuke as "HIS" friend. its not healthy, but im not saying yuuya was. i dont think he had a good mindset, or was healthy with his interactions ,what few genuine ones we see, but i do argue that theyre not entirely his fault. his parents found it easier to ignore him, his siblings resorted to hostility, when he tries to help he is faced with fear and hatred. it would be stupid to say in that moment he wasnt also panicked, he just wasnt showing it in a way other people would recognize. i think thats why its important kensuke wasnt in that scene- he probably would have recognized kizami wasnt right.

🤷‍♂️ idk. TLDR: yuuya is a psycho and a sociopath? well so i am so i took that personally. he's clearly struggling with conduct issues, neglect and paranoia canonically but nobody ever wants to discuss that. his actions are fucked but theyre probably not even entirely his. evidence points to him just being almost fully under the effects of the darkening and hes actually just some radiohead hashtag creepy hastag weirdo loner who like. fuck, idk, hotboxes deer hunting blinds. he isnt excused by his trauma and poorly written, ablest stereotype mental illness, but it does offer some explanation. also it makes me valid but only me valid for defending him everyone else who likes yuuya needs to like. call a hotline because they are usually "attracted" to him killing people and like. uhm girl...... what.

sorry if this is impossible to read i didnt o back and check it because i dont care about anything in da world

yeah. yeah no this isn’t impossible to read it’s just a lot so i need to process it but yeah. he’s clearly written to be someone with aspd but the writing is so.. ableist it doesn’t do him any justice.

like i kind of understand his siblings point of view, lashing out emotionally when they find out that he’s hurt animals. like i’m so sensitive to animal injury and death, especially caused by humans. but kizami was a child. a young child. it was clear that he needed help, not to be shamed and yelled at.

and yeah. it’s clear that he loves kids and wants his own younger sibling to treat better than his older siblings treat him. but the copa writers.. ugh they so obviously have a little sister fetish. like that’s all yuka exists for. she has no character other than having the hots for her oni-chan. and acting like she’s 5. and.. the other thing 🤢 so of course they can’t be normal about kizami wanting a little sibling so they project all their creepiness into him.

#incest /#long post #ableism /#animal death /

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houseki-no-suffering · 5 years

Text

on ch 82 and what the hell is the deal with phos

super long wall of words ahead, you've been warned. also, im not qualified to discuss the emotional effects of trauma, so please correct me where im wrong and don’t hesitate to add on this post

contains an analysis of phos’ character arc, explanation on why and how they snapped and what might happen to our child next:

1. genki phos 2. post winter phos 3. laphos 4. on trauma 5. on snapping 6. speculations about the future

so, first things first, I could not help but notice the sheer number of parallels between this chapter and other significant points of the story. it seems to me that parallels are becoming more and more frequent as the moon arc goes on, and that’s not just because there are simply more chapters to draw parallels from as the story grows in size.

I believe that we’re at a turning point in the story, or even that the turning point has been reached, (aechmea telling barbata to fix phos for the umpteenth time is most likely going to give phos the last treasure, but ill get to it).

so, to try and understand what in the seven hells is going on with our baby at this point (the fandom collectively adopted phos since chapter 2, sign the papers if you haven’t already and donate to the fund to send phos to therapy) let’s retrace phos’ character journey.

1: genki phos

the phos who is too good for this world, too pure, the cinnamon roll who has no idea what the hell is gonna happen to them. oh joy.

hnk sets off as a coming of age story. phos is the youngest, they’re seemingly useless in a society that values usefulness above anything else so genki phos is initially driven by lack of purpose.

i’ve speculated already on the characteristics of the lustrous society, a society that emphasizes sameness over difference and that has no place for outcasts like phos and cinnabar. your value, in lustrous society, is dictated by how much and in which way you can contribute to the survival of the species, with elite fighters (the diamonds) being at the apex of the social pyramid and everyone else coming after.

additionally, while gems live in a highly interdependent and close-knitted society, such interdependence never takes into account emotions, loss, imagination, introspection and free-thinking. the society is extremely practical, apathetic, immobile, and everyone is expected to conform to that.

think about antarc: they’re the poster child of lustrous society: a 3 mohs hardness gem who managed to become an elite fighter out of sheer willpower, who’s blindly loyal to sensei, who sacrifices themselves for the greater good (the group’s interests > the individual’s interests), that does little if any introspection and that is happy about all of this and wants to leave it this way.

phos isn’t like this at all.

since the very beginning of the series we learn that phos is an anomaly. and that’s okay, other gems have been anomalies, like padparadscha, cinnabar, even antarcticite, but while those gems found a way to tip toe to the margins of lustrous society to remain unobtrusive exceptions, or forge themselves into proper, useful members of the group, phos cannot do that. which is ironic, because we know that one of phos’ core characteristics is that they’re able to change and to bring about change in a world that is as immobile and still and stiff as… well.. rock.

like @ruddy-rutile pointed out in a past analysis, phos’ problem wasn’t so much that they didn’t fit in, but that they didn’t fit in the appropriate way: they’re emotional, they’re loud, they’re unreliable, they’re not apathetic. they’re kind. compassionate. imaginative. and imagination is something the other gems lack.

this fuels a deep sense of self-hatred that even at this early stages of the story is lying just beneath the surface and oozes out quite easily, like when phos wants to help ventricosus and mumbles that it’s no problem if they die in the attempt, they’re a good for nothing after all, what difference would it make if they dont come back. at least they were able to help someone, contrary to how they were unable to help cinnabar.

this is the leitmotif of the series: phos is a kind, selfless gem who cultivates a deep sense of self-hatred. the internalized pressure and need to feel useful turns into a necessity for change. they need to save cinnabar, they need to save ventricosus, they need to become a fighter, they need to help sensei.

contrary to most of the other gems, phos loves and loves openly and unconditionally, they’re self-less by nature and that selflessness is a barrier that hides the real reason theyre so ready to put their life on the line for other people: the fact that phos thinks that their own life isnt wort a scrap.

as someone who believes to be worthless, guided by shame and guilt just for being alive and fueled by a deep desire to feel loved and accepted (just like a child), phos is unable to cope with grief and emotion if not by guilt tripping themselves even further.

the fact that the amethysts were almost taken is their fault, the fact that cinnabar is suicidal is their fault, the fact that antarc was taken is their fault, same with ghost’s abduction. the only way phos knows to cope with this guilt is by doing what every other gem does: bury these feelings deep inside their head and throw themselves into work. be useful, like alexandrite, rutile or red beryl.

2. post winter phos

what was a story about purpose, about phos’ coming of age, reaches an end at this very point, with antarc’s death. phos has become stronger at this point of the story, they have agathe legs and gold arms and they have grief to cope with, trauma.

just like alex’s job is studying the enemy and red’s job is making clothes, phos’ job is the one they originally desired for themselves: to fight. because there is nothing as valued as a good fighter in gem society and probably young phos unconsciously hoped to overcome self-hatred by taking on the most useful job there is.

post winter antarc is a skilled soldier, so skilled that bort wants to pair up with them. phos has reached their old goal: through loss and maturity, now they have a place within their society, they’re accepted and appreciated, valued but not loved. because these gems are so, so bad at emotions.

and this is where ms ichikawa begins to fool us all. she had us think that this story would be simple, but now hnk starts its steep and unrelenting detour toward existentialism and phos begins their dance toward madness and bottomless grief.

post winter phos is a soldier, they can fight off lunarians, but theyre still blaming themselves for antarc’s death.

we already said that phos is a very emotional gem and they possess a fervid imagination (probably just like lapis). so what do they do? they start thinking. “maybe i can retrieve antarc if we collect enough pieces. if i can communicate with the lunarians. if i can understand why we’re fighting.”

thinking quickly turns into questioning: why are we fighting? why are we so weak? why am i different? what changed me? is it the new additions, is it just life experiences? can we change? how can we change? antarc told me i shouldnt shy away from life, so im gonna push myself further and further.

that’s when shiro’s arc happens and sensei seems to know something about it, something he won’t tell the gems. phos’ questions suddenly turn to him.

phos is pretty much paranoid at this point of the narrative: they have experienced loss for the first time. consumed by guilt and grief for antarc’s recent abduction (even if phos still doesnt know what death means, we’ll get to that in a while), phos cannot think straight. they can’t be questioning the one authority every gem recognizes, the person phos and everyone else wants to protect, their leader, father, teacher.

phos feels like scum just for even thinking about it, as loyal and young as they are. and yet once you start questioning one minuscule thing about the way you have always lived your life, more and more will follow. it’s a cascade effect and it becomes faster the higher the number of questions, until you’re left with nothing but doubts and you must take into your hands the responsibility to find out for yourself.

this is more or less what happens to phos. they feel awful for doubting sensei the first time, in chapter 27, so they spill their guts to cinnabar, confessing their sins. but what cinnabar says does anything but put phos at ease: of course phos is doubting sensei: he’s shady, everyone knows.

however, while cinnabar is a quiet outcast, extremely prudent (and cowardly if you want) in the way they decide to face life, phos is the total opposite. they just needed a little nudge, they were already on the edge of a cliff of doubts and existential fears. cinnabar’s words are the second, big step that sets phos off on their path to the moon.

chapter 28 is when we see phos self-destructing because of this inner conflict for the first time, a pattern that will be repeated again and again the more phos loses sight of the truth, of a reliable something, a goal to cling onto and find direction.

it is ironic, because phos becomes a direction, a goal, the gems and the moon people’s hope (ch 59 and 72), but in doing so they have no hope left for themselves. let’s not forget that phos is very young by gems’ standards, not to mention in comparison to the moon people. how fair is to expect from a traumatized child to save the world and find answers to questions that run thousands of years deep and give phos nothing in return?

the pressure is enough to break phos and it does, quite literally, over and over and over again.

3. Laphos

lapis’ head comes at a time when phos was literally no longer able to manage this pressure.

it brings a waft of fresh air, it brings what emotional, kind phos needed to detach themselves from grief: coldness, rationality. and yet, it takes something away from phos as well: laphos is the phos that can no longer talk with cinnabar, the phos that brings cairn to reject the gems altogether and launch themselves into their kin’s killer’s arms. laphos is the gems and lunarians’ hope for a brief time, then it becomes the enemy.

i find it interesting how phos feels responsible for goshe and morga’s abduction too, even if phos was unconscious when it happened. phos has no clear boundaries between themselves and the rest of the world. they feel responsible for everything and guilty for everything. whatever they do will never be enough neither to make up for their past mistakes nor to find everyone a clear sense of purpose, safety, truth.

ichikawa plays with truth a lot. truth is that the lunarians are bad people and the gems must defend themselves, truth is that sensei is shady, truth is that the moon people are actually good, truth is that death is real, truth is that sensei is evil, truth is that cinnabar hates phos, truth is that the gems are evil, truth is that sensei is the only one that loves phos. who knows what the next truth will be, but can you call it truth, at this point?

if there is one point, i believe, that ichikawa is trying to make clear is that truth is subjective and that it changes, just like phos’ goal, the more knowledge you acquire and the more mistakes you make. truth is subjective but it must be sought after: you gotta keep fighting, you gotta move on even if you keep making mistakes, even if you cant undo your actions.

and another thing i think she’s trying to say is that you cannot make it alone. the moment phos tried to take it all on their shoulders, they moment they acquired lapis’ head, is the moment everything came crumbling down ten times faster than before.

and the most ironic part is that phos is still kind, even underneath that mantle of aloofness: they tried to do everything by themselves because they didn’t want to put anyone in danger, but in doing so they manipulated the gems just like aechmea. and aechmea knows and he’s been using phos for this.

4. Even more trauma

running after truth and after newer and more nuanced goals, phos has completely lost sight of themselves.

where do their alliances lie? what about their history? phos wakes up in ch 72 after the night raid and immediately breaks into pieces because they’re reminded of how cinnabar attacked them, the one gem they thought was their friend. one of the few truths phos had been clinging to.

phos wakes up after the night raid and asks the enemy “to the lunarians i look like a gem and to the gems i look like a lunarian. what am i?”

they break into pieces because they still believe they’re useless. they couldn't save cinnabar, they couldn't save antarc, they couldn't communicate with the earth gems, they couldn't even see adamant.

this is reminiscent of the very beginning of the manga: phos needs to feel useful, they need a goal, they need to be good at something. and just like they were ready to get lost at sea forever to help ventricosus they’re ready to die for someone else’s cause (not even phos’ own because they have no idea what to believe in at this point) just to be of use. after all, to phos, phos is nothing more than a scrap.

euc disagrees. ch 71 “we need you in our future” is a sentence that phos has probably ached to hear for centuries. “we need you. you are loved, you mean something, you are enough. you belong. we cannot build a future where you aren’t part of the equation. you matter”

and look at the way phos looks at euc. they can barely believe them and in fact they don’t. phos expresses some concern about dying (”after all, those less than 5 includes me”) but they still throw themselves into danger, they still take no care of themselves.

Phos’ self hatred and self-destructive tendencies run deeper than euc’s words could ever cut. those words meant well, but they were too little too late. phos thinks they don’t deserve this kind of hope, they cannot understand it, cannot fathom a world in which they are true and so they will go on believing that they are alone and worthless. next time they go on earth, they’ll go alone and unharmed

it is ironic. they did so much, they went to the moon and back multiple times, put their life on the line multiple times, made more progress toward unveiling the truth about the lunarians and finding a way for them to be free of samsara than anyone else did in hundreds (presumably) of thousands of years. they did it by themselves. in barely three hundred years. that’s impressive. and yet it’s not enough for phos. in their mind, they just keep failing.

so what’s the big deal? they can sacrifice themselves, it’s the least they can do and no one will miss them after all. unfortunately, this is true, at least to some extent.

im appalled by how little even the moon gems care about phos. they’re so self-centered it’s almost funny.

even alex, who has gone through loss and grief if not as much at least in a way similar to phos cannot find enough compassion in themselves to be concerned about phos’ wellbeing after a few months on the moon.

ive heard people mention how this could be a result of the moon people injecting who knows what into the gems or manipulating them someway or another, but i believe that there was no need to. phos is an anomaly after all, their kindness is an anomaly. the lustrous are little more than self-centered children: they are able of little if no introspection and they cannot process complex emotions like grief if not by shutting off those emotions altogether.

the moon gems are still vaguely concerned about phos. in ch 76, when phos departs for earth for the last time, they do tell them to be careful and come back if things get bad, but they do little more than that. it’s little comfort and too little emotional closeness and by no means close to the huge amount of support and (emotional) assistance that phos needs at this point.

phos tries to make do with what they have: a will to end this war and the superficial words of what should be their family, but it’s not even remotely enough. and yet phos, just like any other lustrous, is very bad at introspection: they don’t notice or if they notice they repress it. what’s one more thing down the subconscious after all? it’s fine. phos can take it, until they can no more and they snap without having any idea that they will snap.

phos’ journey, which has made them increasingly more emotional, fragile and human (the last one quite literally) has also made phos even more alone than they were at the beginning of the story. more alone, with the same sense of worthlessness, the same urgency to be good for something or self-destroy, and so much more grief, trauma, guilt and repressed emotions.

5. snapping

“I mustn’t think of anything” phos reminds themselves in ch 76. because thinking never brought anything good and because euc would see right through it.

once again, phos is repressing emotions. here they go, trying to be a cold blooded killer, ready to betray sensei again, the one person who has been good to them and that phos tried to hate with all their heart but just couldnt.

as ive written in a previous analysis, one of aechmea’s lowest blows was to tell the gems he was exploiting and manipulating to reach a salvation he doesnt deserve that if the gems want to acquire freedom they must do so by themselves. talk about coherence.

but that isnt all, he sinks even lower than this: he makes phos and the others question sensei’s affection for them. he says that sensei’s love is fake, it’s synthetic, the gems should totally make him pray or destroy him, no remorse, no strings attached. it’s such a dirty move.

no wonder it confuses phos even more. phos believes it, or tries to, they say they want to break sensei into pieces, but after the night raid they realize that it cant be that simple. sensei never attacked them. he has always been good to phos. and phos feels even more worthless, more of a traitor for daring believe in love, in sensei’s affection, when here they are, on the lunarians’ side, ready to betray him again.

how dare phos hope for anything? they dont deserve love, they dont deserve hope, they dont deserve happiness. they can try to give it to other people, they’ll kill themselves in order to do so, but they have no more hope and no love left for themselves, and they had so little to begin with.

as ive said, phos has little self-awareness and little introspection. i do believe that they had no idea they were going to snap until they did. even in ch 77, when sensei tells them he cannot pray, phos spends their last seconds of consciousness (before being attacked by all of the gems) to kindly ask him to pray. they dont care about themselves, but they dont reflect long enough to consider that reaching out to sensei like that could be interpreted as hostile by the paranoid earth gems. i think this is the first sign that phos is about to snap: they’re quite literally desperate.

tired beyond measure and forced to spend 220 more years in isolation, broken into pieces scattered all over the island, when phos comes to their senses again once kongo reassembles them they’re beyond despair. this war is taking the last toll on them and phos has no more energy to go on.

“please,” they say “pray. do it for no one else but me. grant me mercy,” from one bodhisattva to the other. they’re still somewhat normal, but when sensei fails to pray again phos can’t take it anymore. desperation and rage, fueled by hopelessness, worthlessness, grief and exhaustion make phos launch themselves against sensei, which, ironically, it’s exactly what the story needs.

apparently, phos is human enough to activate sensei but not human enough to make him pray. however, when the two of them join hands, sensei can actually pray. maybe it’s because both phos and sensei are intended to be bodhisattva? maybe because human voice commands are not as strong as contact? i have no idea.

phos has snapped by the way, and it’s weird how they go from “If only you weren’t here” to “sensei actually loves me” in a couple of chapters. in a certain way, we’re seeing phos going back to their roots: they love sensei and trust in sensei’s love, they’re once again openly emotional and impulsive, they’re once again ostracized by the gems (of course, much more violently this time).

i have written about how, after ‘fusing’ with sensei for a brief second, phos doesnt speak for the entirety of ch 81. they look and act like a literal monster, a scared animal, which is ironic since we know that they’re now human. i hypothesized that they might be reborn and that’s why they don’t speak, they’re a literal infant, but in light of ch 82, i think they’re simply hurt beyond measure.

they reversed to their old emotional persona, vomiting out all the emotions and pain and rage and hate they repressed during these 300 years. and yet they still don’t hurt anyone, not as much and as deliberately as they could at least.

they’re conscious enough to recognize the notebook and be reminded of their lost friends, realize how little the earth gems care for phos and for what they’re doing. and, i believe, when phos is rescued and comes back to the moon, they are, for the first time in the whole manga, enraged by the earth gems’ stupidity and sheer ungratefulness.

phos has been fighting for the wellbeing of everyone for centuries, putting their life on the line, never asking for anything in return and always believing that they were doing the right thing. and yet it’s not enough.

aechmea is a clever politician, and like every good politician he’s good at picking up changes and turning them in his favor.

he notices that there’s something wrong with phos and with the way they feel about the gems. maybe he doesnt yet realize that phos is angry at them for being ungrateful, but he senses something so he provokes phos: “you said to leave you on earth last time. did you change your mind?” that is “i’m not your enemy. see? im doing what you want me to do. not quite like those people down there on earth. oh, wait, were those your friends? aw, such a pity. to think they attacked you after everything you’ve done for them. but they’re your family, right? i’ll send you back to them if this is what you want. see? i’ll listen to your wishes. i am grateful.”

look how intently he looks at phos as phos incoherently and obsessively repeats the same thing over and over: “he would have prayed. he would have prayed for me. he loves me. he would have prayed.” if you want, this is also a syìubtle way for phos to apologize: they still feel responsible for their failure, but aechmea must understand: phos did everything they could, it would have worked, it was the gems’ fault.

adamant put phos back together, showing phos that he still cares. he is the only one that loves phos, while the gems (all gems, phos doesnt care much for differences at this point) keep hurting phos even if phos is only trying to help. so they must be killed. to hell with them all. and, notice, phos doesnt include themselves in the ‘gem’ category: they’re no longer a lustrous. they’re a monster, a liminal creature.

with nothing left to believe in if not sensei’s love and a promise to make him pray and then die in peace, phos wants to destroy the only thing that they believe stands between them and finally being useful, but also between them and freedom (freedom from suffering, from guilt, from existing, from their pain, from being): the gems.

this isn’t the first time that phos wants to kill something: in ch 68 they spoke about crushing sensei to pieces. it’s heartbreaking how phos went from “if only the moon people weren’t here” to “if only sensei weren’t here” to “if only the gems weren’t here.” will it turn into: “if only i weren’t here?” who are phos’ allies? who does phos feel kinship with? who is phos? they no longer know, and they’ve not known for a long time.

aechmea has noticed and he’s quick to turn the situation to his advantage. he shakes phos’ hand, he’ll grant them freedom just like phos will grant the lunarians’ freedom. he’ll forgive phos for failing, for their sins, for the bottomless despair and guilt that phos has been living with for centuries. salvation, hope, that is all phos needs.

as @rinboz pointed out, phos’ gold in ch 82 takes the shape of a lotus seed pod, a direct reference to when antarc was abducted and the gold had turned into a lotus flower.

through pain, phos had blossomed into a new character that day, marking the beginning of their long journey toward truth and toward discovering that there is no truth. the day the story changed from a coming of age manga to something much, much more intricate.

phos’ pod is empty, they have nothing left to lose, it’s a dead flower. this is the end of the journey that started with antarc’s abduction. when phos wakes up again, it will probably be with new memories and a new addition to their body, possibly red diamond.

phos’ self destruction has reached its apex because it finally became so intense to extend outwards, to other people that, in their immense grief, phos wants to bring down with them. this might be a minuscule form of progress: anger is better than repressing emotions at least, but phos’ problems are far from being solved.

6. on the future

what will be of phos then? it really depends.

the fact that they’re finally showing all that sufferance and those emotions they tried so hard to repress is good, but aechmea is still there to take advantage of it.

phos will never be free as long as they dont associate themselves with someone that truly loves them and as long as they cant find someone that can help them deal with their emotions. aechmea is just using them and only ichikawa knows what he meant when he told barbata to be careful with those 200 years emotions.

theoretically, phos was unconscious during the timelapse, but if there are emotions to treat carefully maybe they weren’t? maybe the change we’ve seen in phos this chapter depends on what they had to endure during that time. or maybe aechmea simply wants to make sure that his pet is easy to use.

i do believe we’re close to the end. i dont know if it will be the end of the series or just the end of phos as we know them. i could hope for something good to finally happen to them and for them to heal, but it would take a therapist or someone that loves phos.

maybe euclase could side up with sensei, they seemed the most concerned about phos’ status and the most prone to believe them. maybe goshe and cicada could do something again, maybe rutile will fix padpa once more and padpa will talk with the earth gems (not very likely, but im throwing theories left and right at this point), or maybe barbata will refuse to follow aechmea’s instructions, at least in part, and try to help phos.

as always, im afraid we’ll have to wait. in the meantime, please hug phos. if you read up to this point hug phos. hug them now and shower them with love, because no one else will

#houseki no kuni #land of the lustrous #hnk #phosphophyllite #meta #best

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babysizedfics · 4 years

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I HC that big Vee still likes to be put to bed. Not like bedtime story etc, but occasionally he will go to one of the CGs (or even Ro sometimes) and be like "im heading to bed" very deliberately, trying to get someone to come with him, or he'll curl up on the couch and start someone off on a long speech about something, just so he can fall asleep and its like he isn't alone, but he doesn't quite realize that being babied to sleep when he's little is the reason till one of the cgs points it out

I have been thinking about this All Day while i packed so i have a lot of things to say abt this - this is a VERY long post so be prepared shhshs

firstly: ADORABLE THANK U

i rlly do think this is in character! because adult virge actually has a lot of trouble with sleep - he has nightmares most nights and we've obviously established that he wets the bed a lot. both of these things tend to wake him up only a few hours into the night and he's not always willing to sleep again afterwards (to avoid nightmares and wet sheets)

on top of that he (used to) struggle with getting himself to bed on time, he would stay up into the early hours indulging in special interests, stimming where he hid it during the day, or being little (when it was still hidden from everyone) and this has all messed up his body clock quite a lot so some nights he just can't get himself to sleep - this is why he's so sleepy during the days

Also i think he just likes being around people, it calms his anxiety because he doesnt worry about whether anyone is hurt or anything because he can see/feel them around him - so im sure after so many nights being babied to sleep by his CGs and getting so used to having someone with him to fall asleep he subconsciously seeks it out when he's big

also while we are on the subject, adult virgil has a very specific bedtime routine! this is me projecting again but he NEEDS to do every part of it otherwise he feels really stressed and upset and gets anxious and that makes it even harder to sleep - his routine is calling roman a nickname until roman calls him one back, saying 'Night L' to which logan has to reply 'Good night, Virgil.' (if logan replies differently virgil keeps subtly trying to postpone bedtime and repeating 'night L' until logan says it exactly right), and having a hug with patton - patton is the most reliable because every time without a doubt he sways them side to side, squeezes virgils shoulders, kisses his head and whispers 'i love you stormcloud' and virgil always replies 'love you dad' while avoiding his eyes. This routine has been in place since before the regression is revealed i think

ugh the fact that virgil finishes everyday by hugging patton is so cute already but also i said that he also starts off everyday by hugging patton too and thats just ADORABLE

now with actually asking for people to put him to bed, it will be different with each person:

with logan, as you suggested, i think he would get logan to talk about something academic that interests him or maybe even - much more rarely - shyly ask logan if he could read the book in his hands out loud. Logan of course understands that virgil does these things when he's getting tired and is happy to do so to help virgil relax before bed. It helps him relax too

with patton virgil is the most obvious - he knows theres no point hiding it from him and he just outright asks if patton can please help him fall asleep. though I think he would actually be most reluctant to seek out patton, ironically, merely because he knows that patton picks up on it and has no qualms with pointing out that virgil clearly loves bedtime and 'of course i can tuck you in kiddo! Do you want me to stroke your hair? Do you want your paci? Shall i sing to you sweetie?'

So virgil mainly kind of avoids getting patton to put him to bed when he's grownup because pattons instinct is to just treat him like a baby - which virgil appreciates of course but some nights he actually wants to stay big and its kind of impossible to do that when patton is humming a lullaby and rocking virgil in his lap

with roman its a very different story - virgil will only ever seek roman out if both CGs are already in bed, which brings me onto a HC that I've been meaning to tell you guys about for WEEKS:

roman and virgil often have 'sleepovers' - theyre really just all-nighters where both of them have trouble sleeping and instead of suffer alone they go into romans room and chill together for the night

they keep this a secret from the CGs mainly because they're sure patton and logan would both have something to say about the fact that at least once a week virgil and roman completey forego sleep and instead eat snacks and watch disney and play video games and shove pillows into their faces to try not to wake the others with their sleep deprived laughter

but also? its just become special to them and they want to keep it as Their Thing

you see virgil isnt the only one who struggles with sleeping - roman tends to stay up very late working on creative projects (even if the CGs put him to bed he will usually get up again because he cant get his brain to switch off) and he won't admit it, at least not for a while, but he actually has a slight fear of sleep

the fact that you are unaware of what goes on around you and are not in control of your body or mind while you are unconscious just doesn't sit right with roman, if he thinks about it too hard he starts freaking out and purposefully avoids sleeping - thought he doesnt tend to think about it too much, he's learned to ignore these thoughts since when he was a teen they led to a pretty bad case of insomnia

so vee and ro tend to be awake late at night and often one will text 'you up?' and within a minute virgil will be sneaking into roman's room to keep each other company

this is where i think most of their adult brotherly bonding happens, its quiet since they dont want to wake up pat or lo and it's a calm atmosphere because of roman's constellation nightlight and the whole vibe of it just makes them a lot more open and soft with each other

they tend to end up talking about Big Life Things on most nights

as they play minecraft one night virgil opens up about his internalised ableism and how no matter how much everyone assures him its okay to need extra help he still feels awful about it and roman doesn't say much, he just listens, but when he notices virgil getting choked up at one point he pauses the game and silently pushes his teddy bear aladdin into virgils hands and pulls him in with one arm to lean against his shoulder

another night they are lying on romans bed, side by side but with some distance between them, and staring up at the projected constellations, talking about how cool it is that logan and patton take care of them and roman blurts out that sometimes he feels a bit scared of logan and thinks he will tell him off for being stupid and force him not to be virgils brother anymore because he cant be trusted.

they dont look at each other, they keep staring at the stars as roman rambles, supplemented by lots of sarcastic comments and jokes and nervous laughter to hide the fact that his voice is shaking. And again, virgil doesnt say much, he doesnt interrupt roman and they both know that they feel comfy opening up to each other on these nights because theres a silent agreement that they dont discuss it, it's just a venting session, no advice or sympathy please.

but virgil does shuffle closer on the bed and presses their shoulders together, and he does take romans hand gently when roman starts picking at his nails

so yeah.. virgil seeks the CGs out when he wants to sleep, but its not so bad when he can't sleep either because he'll aways have roman too

#guys.. i am so emotional about brotherly prinxiety this week #i think its bc i miss my sister but damn this is just....... im loving these headcanons i am so soft #little/big concepts #asks #anon #long post

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jensenackle · 4 years

Text

so, falling in love? the greatest thing in the world. makes u feel invencible like you could swallow the entire world raw and nobody could stop you. You'd like to think you could go on and on forever talking about love but its been so long you dont even remember anymore

getting your heart broken? well that is something. at first you feel like its the end of the world. And you know what? it kinda is. not in the "im going to die because of this" way, but instead, its like you wake up from the haze and reality hits you in the chest so damn hard it takes your breath away. it is raw and the most painful thing in the world, to think the person you trusted and loved more than anyone just betrayed your trust and stabbed you in the back. its not that they're unfaithful the thing that hurts, not entirely, but rather that they knew it would hurt you, and they did it all the same. and then lied about it. And you know damn well that once you start telling lies you can never stop and now you're like a snowball tumbling down getting bigger as the moments pass by, but its all gonna come crashing down inevitably. its losing the trust you had put in that person and now you cant even believe your etes because nothing seems true anymore. Is the sky really blue? The grass green? Or am i just blind to the truth?

trying to work things out means forgiveness and apologies and forgetting and getting over. it truly means turning the page around, period. there's no other way, you can't bend this to work like you'd like. Because that's when things get ugly. And i mean really fucking ugly and you feel like you've lost yourself because suddenly you're acting like you've never have before, like you said you never would. And its new and terrifying and so bad and ugly you're scared you're stepping into the darkest version of you and you don't even recognize yourself.

you start asking yourself questions, like what have they done to me? but also what have i allowed people to turn me into? and also why? Mostly why. And you can't wrap your head around this, because life was like a bliss and you felt divine but now you feel like someone's attached an anchor to your ankle and thrown you to the deepest ocean and youre sinking and drowning and struggling, and you know life changes fast but why did it have to change to this? did i really deserve it?

but you didn't deserve it. The betrayal and feeling like dying and the depression and that one time when you first stepped outside your house in the aftermath, after weeks of being in bed and not sleeping at all barely eating and crying yourself to sleep, and you couldn't keep the tears from falling or the sobs from coming out your mouth because you were overwhelmed. You didnt deserve it, and you werent responsable for that either. None of it was your fault, and maybe the guilt of "what if i had done anything different?" will leave your body someday.

But it was them. They're the ones that screwed you over and then claimed to love you. You can understand now, though, that they're humans because we all are and we all make mistakes. But you can't forgive, him treating you like a fool and lying and going behind your back. You've never forgotten nor forgiven. And you had to get back at him didn't you? Had to have your revenge.

But he didn't deserve it either and that eats you up but you wont do anything about it because its not your place to do so. Because you'll try to justify yourself but you were in the wrong. Tried to convince yourself you were over and done, could fall in love again, and he wasnt a rebound. Nope, not all. He was the real thing. But you know now you were lying to yourself back then. He was convenient. And willing. And you kinda liked but you know he liked you a lot so you took advantage. I know its no fair putting it in those words, its not like you were conscious about what you were doing, so far down in denial, but its what you did anyway and now you have to own up to it. Now youve hurt a lot of people and yourself too, some didnt deserve it and some did, just because you tried to cover up your feelings. How did that work out for you, baby girl?

Getting back with an ex is a big no-no, you've learnt your lesson or you're starting to, trying to, wanting to. Because the shit thats in the past should fucking stay in the past. Its there for a reason anyway, digging it up will amount to nothing eventually. And im talking about feelings and emotions and situations and friendships and lovers. The whole deal. Whats dead should say well, dead. It died right? And trying to bring it back to life will make it morph into something new. But if youre lucky, like really fucking lucky, the new thing will be good and bright and beautiful. But if youre like me? Luck has never been on our side. And now the zombie will try to please you and you'll try to please him too until you find yourself reaching for the shotgun and pointing it right to them while they're coming for you.

Because the new is gonna be so exciting at first, like you've been missing out on life all the time you've been away from them like you finally can breath. But then the spell is over and reality hits you and guess what? It's ugly, obviously. It always was but you just didnt wanna see it but now the curtain is up and the blindfold is gone and you have to go and confront yourself and tell yourself the truth.

It'll be ages till you listen though. Denial, again. I kinda feel like that's become our thing. And nasty little habit, that is. And even when you finally start to listen, you will withdraw again. Reach out for the cover again. Because the truth is ugly and painful and you dont want that. You dont want to believe your fairytale love doesnt get happy ending, probably never will. And it will come crashing down and burning, like it has in the past, like you've so desperately tried to avoid. No one wants to face that

But life is what it is whether you like it or not and avoiding the inevitable will only make things harder and thats right - uglier. But maybe if you could hold on into that last bright thing... maybe you could fix it all. But you know you can't.

Too much shit has happened now. You've got baggage now. Not that you didn't have it before from your insecurities and years of teenage depression but it wasnt like this. Never like this. Back then you didn't like your self but you trusted your convictions and rules and now that you've done all the shit you said you wouldn't, who are you now? What do you believe in anymore? Do you believe in anything? Now you second guess.

You would have jumped had he asked. Would have done anything for him, and it sounds pretty but it isn't and you've lost yourself so damn deep you're never finding that again so it would be better to rebuild from scratch, right? But now you're longing and nostalgic for who you were, and what it was and how you felt. Like walking on clouds.

But then it hits you and you feel like you can't even breath: you don't feel like that anymore. And even if you want to turn your head away from this you can't. And now you have to do something. You owe it to yourself, after all. Can't waste more of her heart and time.

And it's a slow path. Bunch of rocks in the way. It's hard to walk and you keep turning back but keep walking forward because it's the only thing to do, even if you want to go back, and you want, but you cant. Hoping that you wont. Even if it hurts. For you.

And here we are at the end of things. The end of the world. The world you built for yourself and him that no longer will be and everything will die with it, the inside jokes and knowing each other and the old memories and the new memories and everything in between. Breaking up, if it was true love, will feel like dying because parts of you will (the ones you were with him and the ones he takes with you) and will feel like the world is shattering around you because it is.

Falling out of love? Not as fun as falling in. But you learn more. Lose a lot more than just people, but you lose perspective on the beauty of life and of love. Especially love. You become bitter and cynical. You desperately want to view life bright again because now it feels as if someone dimmed the lights. And at the same time you want to embrace the new thoughts. Arent sure which one is the bad and which the good, or if there is a good or bad at all, and now you're confused and conflicted.

It takes time. I'm still trying to figure out.

#txt #personal #october 2020 #22 years old #i just kinda summed up the last three years of my life here #private diary

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n0-eyedtaissa · 3 years

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1-20 Ruthie

1. What is your character's reaction to a minor inconvenience? Such as getting their jumper caught on a door handle?

she’d be so annoyed...like the stopping and sighing/huffing and making a big deal about getting unstuck. sometimes it’d be the little things to just totally set her off.

2. Tea, coffee, hot chocolate or other?

coffee, always coffee. when she was in college alondra tried to turn her on to green tea but it was unsuccessful.

3. What does their safe space look like?

her bedroom is the only place where she gets true alone time, but when she can have the privacy she’ll get into the bathtub with some lavender oil. bathtubs are her safe space for sure.

4. What do they consider to be an unforgivable action? Why?

someone going back on their word, or someone lying to her. because she’s dealt with a lot of that.

5. Do they have any nicknames or pet names or other aliases?

she thinks that her full name (ruthann) is a super old lady name, so she’s always gone by ruthie or ruth, but has been stuck with the nickname ‘ruthless’ for years.

6. What kind of books comfort them? What books help them heal after a hard day?

she doesn't have a lot of downtime for reading like she used to when she was a kid, but she really used to like fantasy books where the kids with messed up families were whisked away from their bad situations and got to go on adventures.

7. Are they a naturally assertive person or are they painfully shy?

ruthie is pretty assertive when it comes to speaking out for other people (like sweet pea), but when it comes to speaking out on things that she wants/needs she resists more.

8. Do they consider themselves a friendly person or aloof? What is your character's trigger point? What makes them angry, sad or makes them go off?

once ruthie feels like she can trust you, she’s VERY friendly but until then she keeps her cards close. she get’s angry/sad/upset over how her, her family, and her friends are treated as southsiders and she's angry/sad/upset over being abandoned by her mom and losing her dad.

she won’t talk about any of the stuff she’s upset by, but when it boils over it gets ugly.

9. What kind of jokes make them laugh?

the stupider the better. she also loves dad jokes and bad puns.

10. Do they enjoy pranks or do they hate them? Are they likely to fall for a prank?

she likes being in on the pranks, but doesnt like being pranked. she’s not very likely to fall for them since she’s around

11. Are they an overall healthy person? Do they make for a good patient or a terror?

god no lmfao. she has been smoking since she was 14 years old (though she quits when she’s 26). she can be a terror because she’s a nurse herself and feels like she should be able to take care of herself.

12. Describe your character's typical wardrobe for the regular day.

ruthie is all about comfort. she’s never been able to afford things that are trendy and she buys a lot of stuff from the thrift store. she has multiple pairs of long and short overalls and she’s most likely going to be rocking those on the average day.

13. Are they a simple person to please or difficult?

pretty easy to please if you know how to crack her.

14. What is the first thing people notice about them?

probably how she conducts herself, how she’s so mature sounding and acting for being so young. people see that as a good quality and not a trauma response.

15. What do they look for in a friend? A love interest?

she looks for people who can understand loyalty, and that she’s not always the most present friend but she’ll be there when needed. friends have to have good taste in music, and movies, and be able to make her laugh.

16. Who are they soft for? Do they find being soft easy or difficult?

she’s soft for her younger brother, both of the abuela’s, the bodega cat by ignacio’s, and romeo fogarty. (in that order).

she finds being soft pretty difficult.

17. Describe your character through a Brooklyn 99 gif or line.

18. What does your character consider to be their lowest point?

probably when she was 19 and she was taking her mom to court to get custody over her brother.

19. Does your character have a comfort item?

she isn't one for material comforts, but she does have a favorite mug that she drinks her 3 cups of coffee a day out of.

20. What would be one item that they would hate to lose most?

a big fuzzy sweater that atzi knitted for her

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pocmuzings · 4 years

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hello and i hope you’re doing ok!! i’m thinking of starting a murder mystery esque rp but this will be my first time running an rp and i’d love to hear any tips/preferences/things you’d like to see if you have any in terms of plot/execution!!

omg how exciting !!!!! you have to link me when it comes all together, i’d love to see it ! in response to you - this is by no means definitive or how you should run a rp. u can run it HOWEVER you would like, but these are things i’ve found that i enjoy for these type of rps / general murder mystery plots!!!

HAVE THE KILLER BE SOMEONE IN THE RP - this is the essence of the rp after all, it’s a murder MYSTERY, u can’t just have joe-blow an npc be the murderer bc then it kinda defeats the purpose of why anybody would want to solve it! ppl like to have an EMOTIONAL CONNECTION to whoever the killer could be. before you even open the rp to the public, u should know who your killer is, and WHY they’re the killer. and they should be someone who is a playable character!!!

HAVE RED HERRINGS - this is a classic move for murder mysteries of all sorts. you need someone to look like the bad guy. you need someone to be suspicious and have motive and incentive, but then . . it turns out they’re innocent ! have 2-3 red herrings hidden away. this really involves people in the plot because they start thinking it’s one person, then another person, THEN ANOTHER!! it’s great for all development !

MAKE THE RP EITHER OC, OR SKELETON. DON’T MIX BOTH - this helps create the ~mystery~ and whodunnit. if you write skeletons .. chances are, the murderer is going to be one of the skeletons, right ? so then that already wipes out all of your oc’s from being suspects!!! i personally think its more fun to have one or the other for this sort of rp !

HAVE A STRONG TIMELINE OF EVENTS - plot this out beforehand too. think about how and when evidence will be found. think about police reports being released. think about who will be called into the police station , and how this will throw a spanner into the works for all the other characters in the rp. create doubt. create suspicion. create paranoia amongst the characters . don’t let your rp start with a murder mystery and then let it flop with no plot drops, or events pertaining to said murder mystery. this is like baking a cake , and not even putting it in the oven. it’s like .. u started smth great , but now whats the point?

GIVE EVERY CHARACTER JUST A LIIIIITLE BIT OF MOTIVE - this is good because you do want every character to have just a little bit of a reason as to why they would have potentially ~murdered someone

KEEP THE MURDERER A MYSTERY … EVEN TO THE MURDERER ! - i don’t think its necessary to let someone know they’ve picked up the ‘murderer’ straight away, unless u need to for plot development and for them to ~play~ the character and the game ! but honestly, it’s fun for everyone if NOBODY knows who did it, including the one who did it !

WATCH AND READ MURDER MYSTERIES !!! - there are some really really good ones out there ! desperate housewives, KNIVES OUT, prisoners, the first season of pretty little liars, veronica mars, one of us is lying, a good girls guide to murder , sadie, . . these are all bits of media that have done FANTASTIC jobs at creating characters and a really well-driven and developed mystery plot!

CREATE STRONG CHARACTERS - this goes without saying for any rp, but i think this is especially important for murder mystery rps which is why i lean towards having SKELETONS for these type of rps. give them bones, and a trope. make them all as different as you can . think about characters that work well in other murder mysteries and try to mimic what makes them so good and strong, and what they can PROVIDE to the murder mystery . is one of them a reporter ? an ex best friend ? a nancy-drew sort of character ? they should be !!! they should all have a clear PURPOSE in the rp , don’t just give them a label like ‘the peacemaker’ and call it a day. what is their purpose ? what do they serve by being in the rp, and why do you NEED them in order for the rp to work ? ( and u SHOULD need them ! ideally, u should need every skeleton taken, right ?!)

THINK OF PLOT DROPS AND EVENTS, AND ASK MEMBERS TO CONTRIBUTE IDEAS TOO - these should all keep the same sort of aesthetic as having something spooky or mysterious to them . a haunted halloween night. a spooky festival. a power outage at school. a piece of evidence found by one of the characters . somebody finding out who the murderer could be, and then getting into an ‘ accident ‘. this type of rp is PLOT HEAVY and events and plot drops should absolutely be something you already have in mind and know when are going to happen and WHAT the main event of them happening will be !

CREATE THREATS AND A ‘SCARE FACTOR’ - it should start light and easy , in some degree. the rp should start with everyone thinking their character is going to be safe. lull everyone into a false sense of security, and then show that nobody is safe. either by having an anonymous blogger, or gossip blog make blasts, or by hurting one of the characters who keeps sticking their nose in. you should have people in the rp seriously realise that there will be consequences for their characters actions , bc lets be real .. if ur a killer and someone is purposely goading u or trying to Solve the Crime .. ur gonna be pissed and want to Eliminate them !

HAVE A GOOD SETTING - honestly, setting in murder mystery rps is SO MUCH FUN and is what can make a rp so unique ! is it a small town, therefore the murder ROCKED the entire town to their shells bc everyone knows everyone and WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING ?? is it a homely city, that was previously thought of as being very safe and ideal, until this horrible crime happened ? is it a grungey neo-noir city, that has a lot of crime, but THIS crime was ‘ particularly heinous ‘, or maybe the work of a notorious serial killer ? think of a location. think of a setting. this is IMPORTANT to the rp and to drawing people’s interests in !

CREATE CONNECTIONS - how does skeleton a know skeleton b ? who trusts who ? who DOESN’T trust who ? who thinks who did it ? who thinks who is innocent ? ideally, every character should have an impression of the next. this create a more tight-knit feeling within the rp, both ic and ooc, because EVERYONE knows everyone and has a basic ‘first impression’. you don’t have to write all of these or provide them for every skeleton, but i think its important to try and write a couple at least, so everyone finds it a bit easier to plot and reach out to different people !

ENCOURAGE SECRETS AND LIES - this goes without saying. i think its fun to have each character have a ‘secret’ or ‘something they’re not telling the police’. i find this makes for more in character development and activity !!! again, u can let ppl think of their own, or u can assign one if u want ! but basically, this rp should be filled with no ‘good’ characters and no ‘bad characters’. everyone should have equal amounts of flaws, and advantages.

MAKE THE KILLER STRIKE MORE THAN ONCE - so the killer most likely strikes once at the ‘beginning’ of the rp, or just before the rp opens, to kick things off. but then . . don’t forget about them ! its very common for someone to strike twice . they can kill a npc, or .. maybe somebody doesnt mind throwing their character in to be Axed, but honestly . . the killer should and will strike again , and this should help keep everyone on their toes, ic and ooc, too !!!

WRITE ABOUT THE KILLER IN YOUR PLOT - its a murder mystery . it’s horror. so. talk about the killer, without giving away their identity. give hints as to who it could be . tell us what their relationship was to the deceased. tell us how they killed that person. was it a crime of passion ? a crime of hate ? an ACCIDENT ??? how did they feel after they’d realised what they’d done ? what happened that night/day/morning ???

this is all i can think of right now, and i hope it helps!!! whatever u come up with will be AMAZING i bet. as a nerd of murder mysteries, i rlly enjoyed answering this and if u need any more advice or help . let me know !!! good luck, and make sure to link me when ur good to go !! i can’t WAIT to see it !!

#rph #rpc #murder tw #murder mention tw #tip #tips #Anonymous

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