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#because i am funny like that heheh
ladsofsorrow24 · 4 months
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(x)
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skitskatdacat63 · 11 months
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Every time I read Fernando cursing in fic, I can only think about this clip and then my brain short-circuits
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colorful-horses · 2 years
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finished season 2 of miraculous ladybug!
I dont mean to sound nitpicky about a children's show meant for children. Buuut it feels a little weird to me that the neglect/abuse Adrien experiences from his father is never played for laughs, but Chloes extremely horrible mom being awful to her is literally the whole punchline of their relationship?
Like I realize part of it is "Well Chloe is mean too, so they can bond over how awful they are Together", but that just makes me feel kinda icky because it means Chloe can never improve as a person UNLESS she's fine with her mother not loving her lol
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miserye · 1 year
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I hate looking through my fic lists because IT MAKES ME WANNA READ THEM ALL AGAIN
#THE TAGS TURNED INTO MY REFLECTION FOR THE YEAR PRESS MORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#I said more it’s See all my bad HAHAHHA#I DONT have time#BUT I WANT TO#because I KNOW THEYRE SO GOODKSKDKDK#chatterye#someone interacted w my matsuhana shit and I miss them so badly#also I’ve been wanting to reread my favorite sunaosa fic recently#I think I will#ALSO SOMETIMES I JUST WANNA PUNCH PAST ME because WHAT AM I SAYINGFJCKDKFKDKFKSJFJKG#I’m reading my thoughts and sometimes I’m like so true bestie and sometimes I’m like BESTIE WHAT THE FUCK#but just CPing the summaries is easy and less embarrassing BUT ITS SO NOT FUN#WHERES THE CHARACTER#this might be pretentious of me to say but I think I really was the reason the hq fic rec fandom started to write their thoughts about fics#for fic rec lists because when I first started I don’t ever recall seeing like proper lists w a bunch of thoughts instead of just the links#or the summaries of the fics; I think it only started to become a thing after I started#I could totally be wrong about that don’t quote me but after I started I saw so many more lists like mine HAHAHAHHA#anyways sometimes I miss washy but it made me stressed out so I’m also glad to be away from it heheh#sad I never got around to certain ideas I had but I think my best was the Christmas tree I was so funny for that#this is my new year reflection mayhaps HAHAHAH#I will say i think overall I like matsuhana the most#I think they had the best fics and the least horrible fanon interpretations regardless of how old the fics were and all the fics were sogood#they make me so happy and I really loved so many ships but they came out on top even though I read so many other fics I always come back to#my matsuhana fics because they make such an impact on me also I have my favorite angst fics there which are written so beautifully#genuinely very grateful for those writers
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monsieur-neuvillette · 8 months
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( unrelated because I don’t really wanna put this on main bUT IT’S TEMPTING TO START AN ITTO BLOG AIXJJCJCJ )
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rottingsick · 1 year
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ppl who sh for attention are so valid because oh my god no one who isn't mentally ill would sh as a way to get attention
#text#rotting#mine#I think abt this a lot#'oh they're just doin it for attention' and? there's clearly a fuckin problem if that's how they choose to do such???#no one whose mentally stable would ever go 'hehehe hohohooo I think it'd be funny to fake mental illness by actually self harmin'#honestly writin someone off bc its 'attention seekin' is just gonna make the problem worse...#I think bein attention seekin with sh is a product of neglect or their pain bein dismissed/ignored and sh is often used as a measurin tool#by many for 'how bad is it' no matter how wrong that is#so by sayin they're just attention seekin and dismissin their pain yer just reconfirmin their already held issues#honestly its wild how much of a 'no I don't actively sh or have any plans to commit die' will quell any urgency a doctor will have to treat#completely ignorin the fact I am 100% impulsive and have a history of doin shit and creatin the entire plan to attempt in one day#or get a little off my rockers and notice oh shit I just did that after it's already dmged myselff#but then again I don't feel like bein locked up because I honestly cannot give any consistent way to check#if they'll just stay intrusive thoughts or if they're gonna become reality#also not to go off on a further tangent but I hate the ppl on tiktok classifyin impulsive vs intrusive thought by whether you act on them#when you can 100% act on an intrusive thought... typically in delusion or in a way to make it stop or it's so overwhelmin you loose control#in my experience as a delusional bitch.. intrusive thoughts can and have won#and it can become hard to tell whether that's how I actually feel when my brain is violently tellin me it is#anyways that's a long road down a tangent but also not really and it did come full circle if you consider the fact that#the push to sh for attention is one of my intrusive thoughts eyooo#mostly born out of the fact my pain was never real enough to those around me. I was never considered sick enough. I had no proof of my pain#I was just a lost cause and it was all my fault. so yea. it did start as a way to try to make my pain real#altho it has warped and adapted overtime as my mental health has gone down a slippery slope to sh for attention from one person directly#guess I've been taught as I grew up that if I'm hurt enough I'll get attention I so desperately crave. always ignored if I wasn't in crisis#and I don't know how else to get what I want so even then I naturally just break down as it's my only ability instantly get attention#even if I'm not doin it on purpose I'm just so wired and trained to mentally or physically hurt myself in an explosive attempt#to get what I want regardless of if I want to take that method but the infightin in my head just makes it happen anyways#and it sucks because tbfh. it works. my behavior is reinforced almost constantly but it's also extremely dangerous to not be reinforced#cause then I don't know how to handle myself and get sui and it just sucks a lot
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inkykeiji · 2 years
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bf’s dad made me double chocolate walnut brownies!! (ノ´ヮ´)ノ*:・゚✧ munching on them as i edit hehehe <333
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onlyhuis · 1 year
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leaning on the everlasting arms
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member — childhood best friend! pastor's son!joshua x f reader genre — angst, smut, some fluff, bible college au word count — 10.3k (my first fic over 10k wowie!!) synopsis — as kids growing up in the same church, you and joshua were inseperable, until you got to an age where it was considered immoral for girls and boys to be friends. when you find him again just before graduation, he's different than you remember; but so are you. content warnings — female reader, she/her, reader is implied to be smaller (i'm sorry), discussion of gender roles & religion, no religion is mentioned by name but it's heavily implied to be a form of christianity, reader & shua are both seniors in college, reader wears skirts/dresses but not really by choice, this whole thing is pretty blasphemous oops smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, virgin!joshua x virgin!reader, mutual masturbation, phone sex, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (reader receiving), hints of a voice kink, size kink, praise, begging, really vanilla missionary but it's hot, nicknames (sweetheart, baby, angel) notes — although i am no longer religious, this is partially based off of my own experiences with the extremely traditional christian church i was raised in. however, please keep in mind that this is fiction and does not reflect my beliefs nor joshua's beliefs so don't take the plot too seriously. this piece is not meant to discuss whether certain religions are "right" or "wrong" so please do not comment/send me asks trying to start a debate! we're all just here for a little sexy time with shua it's not that deep note #2 — for those who aren't familiar, the title is the name of a hymn and i thought it was funny bc joshua big sexy arms hehehe
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as far back as you could remember, joshua was your closest friend.
his father was the pastor of the church your family went to, and as luck would have it you were both in the same grade, so it wasn’t long before you became inseparable. you saw him at minimum three times a week: sunday morning, sunday evening, wednesday evening.
you spent most of your childhood together. sitting next to each other at every service, sharing your bibles with each other whenever one of you left them at home, sneaking donuts away from the box at the table outside the sermon hall that was supposed to only be for the adults.
you did everything together, and told each other everything. that is, until you reached middle school. boys and girls weren’t allowed to sit in the same services anymore, and you had to stay in separate buildings for every church camp and conference. 
the worst part was you didn’t even understand why. what did they think you were gonna do with him? kiss him? no amount of money in the world could get you to do that! joshua was your best friend. who else were you supposed to climb trees and build forts and sneak donuts with? kissing was stupid.
when you asked your mom about it, she told you the same thing everyone else did: about how men of god had a different path and needed to hear different messages in order to grow up to lead their own churches one day. you thought it was stupid. what if a woman wanted to lead a church, why are men the ones that have to do it? but she would just shake her head and tell you it's just the way things work in the church, you'll understand when you're older.
you were allowed near him less and less until the only time you were able to see him was at the after-service brunch with his family, and even then that began to happen less and less as the years went on.
and of course it was church rules, so there was no arguing with them because that would mean arguing with god, and who were you to question his authority? there would be no special exception for you, no matter how much you protested to your mom that you would never, ever think about joshua like that. in a fit of anger one day you blew up at her, shouting that she had had friends of the opposite gender when she was in high school, so why couldn’t you? it wasn’t fair. but she had just sighed and stared out the window, clearly ending the conversation. many years passed before she finally told you about her life before she came to church, recalling all the times she had been hurt by men she had loved and trusted. you understood then why she had wanted to keep you sheltered and safe, but you still didn’t agree. but then again, if you had been allowed to do what you wanted then maybe things would never have ended up the way they did. perhaps you have her to thank.
back then, all you could do was hold on to the little time you had with him until eventually you stopped seeing him altogether. 
more summers passed and you started spending all of your time memorizing bible verses with your fellow “women of christ”, missing the way you used to spend your time with your best friend.
but then you went off to bible college like had always been planned for you, and everything changed. instead of continuing to follow the strict schedule that was laid out for you, you finally got a little taste of freedom, and you realized what you’d been missing all this time. everything that you’d been taught was sinful, evil, wicked, was what brought you more pleasure than you’d ever known was possible.
you still had to pretend to be a good girl for the people around you, who, for reasons you couldn’t comprehend, were still dedicated to their life of purity. or at least they acted like it. maybe everyone was secretly just like you, hiding their sins behind a friendly smile and a firm handshake every sunday morning.
you weren’t hurting anyone with the things you did in private, and the feeling of rebellion was a kind of satisfaction you didn’t know you were allowed to feel. you were an adult, making your own choices now and facing whatever consequences that came with them.
there was only one consequence. for some reason, all the impure thoughts you had always centered around joshua. no matter what dirty books you read or videos you watched, the man you always pictured giving it to you was joshua.
you hated that after all these years, everything still came back to him. you fought it, tried imagining actors or celebrities in his place instead; characters from your books and movies and shows, anyone but him. you wanted to save whatever memories you had left of him, think of him in a good light like you used to when you were younger, but the way he plagued your mind was worse than the ones in the book of exodus.
but now, in your final year of college, you thought you had finally gotten yourself under control.
that is, until you were leaving one of your bible lectures and all the control you’d convinced yourself that you had crumbled away in mere seconds when you saw a startlingly familiar face standing by the door. a face you hadn’t seen in far too long. 
“joshua?”
“hey,” he says with a smile, like no time has passed at all. like it’s been hours since you’ve seen each other, not years. 
there are so many things you want to say, so many things you want to ask him, but you’re frozen in place. why is he here? where has he been? how did he find you again?
“it’s been a while,” he says with an awkward laugh when you don’t say anything.
you nod, still in a daze. “yeah. quite a while.”
he smiles. “well, anyway, i’ve got a meeting to go to in a bit, but… i just wanted to see you.”
“oh,” you say. what else is there to say? what can you say to make up for the years lost that you’ll never get back?
he looks at his watch, the conversation clearly coming to an end.
“can i give you my phone number?” he says. a deep shade of pink creeps into his cheeks but he either doesn’t notice or purposely doesn’t acknowledge it. “maybe we can talk sometime, catch up.”
“i– yeah,” you manage. god, it’s so good seeing him again. “yeah, that would be really nice.”
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you’ve given up on homework for the night, spending your entire afternoon in a daze since you ran into joshua.
so many years, yet you still can’t get his smile out of your head.
you close your eyes, hand dipping below the waistband of your pajama pants automatically. it’s frightening how easily you’re able to bring up a picture of him in your mind, so much clearer than before now that you’ve seen what he looks like all grown up.
and grown up, he has. you had been too stunned to get a good look at him while he was in front of you, but the way he’d changed was immediately apparent and the image in your brain now feels almost unreal. 
his hair was a little longer and a little darker, and he was much taller, with broad shoulders that looked way too perfect in a suit jacket. but his face hadn’t changed a bit. maybe his jaw was a little bit sharper and his smile lines were a little bit deeper, but his eyes were the same ones you had always known. 
your hand slips lower and lower until you’re gently running the tips of your fingers over the panel of your underwear covering your pussy, moaning quietly when you feel how wet you are already.
no wonder it’s been so hard for you to focus all day. you’ve been too busy pushing away thoughts of joshua burying his fingers in your tight, wet cunt, cooing about how good you’re being for him and how long he’s waited for you.
automatically you feel your other hand grabbing for your phone, desperate to hear his voice again. you hadn’t said more than a few sentences to him earlier, but you feel like you’ll go crazy if you don’t hear him while you’re in this state. so needy for him and only him, and he doesn’t even know it.
your fingers shake as you press the buttons, knowing you’re about to get yourself into a whole world of trouble but not being able to stop yourself.
“hey.” he answers on the second ring. his tone is deep and husky, and your breath catches in your throat for a second, not used to hearing him talk like that; the last time you heard his voice was long before puberty, and you’re still navigating how to talk to this older, sexier joshua.
your first thought is to wonder if his morning voice sounds equally as sexy, but you’re immediately pushing it out of your head when you hear what sounds like him stifling a yawn.
“sorry, did i wake you? it– it’s not important,” you start, ashamed of how needy you are that you’d call him in the middle of the damn night, unprovoked, like some kind of bible group booty call.
the regret is already starting to set in. he probably hasn’t changed as much as you've built him up in your mind, probably still the obedient gentleman he was before. he’s probably already well on his way to being the head of a church, so of course he wouldn’t be thinking about you like that—
“no. it’s fine,” he says, interrupting your thoughts. “always have time for you, sweetheart. what’s up?”
you shove down the butterflies that flutter up in your stomach at the name he calls you, a nickname he always called you when you were kids because he was taught it was always polite to talk sweet to a lady. 
except it feels so much different now. talking sweet to a lady as kids was easy, innocent. but one wrong word now would completely change the meaning behind those pretty words of his, and you aren’t sure how to feel about it.
“i… just– it’s been so long, joshie,” you whisper, surprised at the sudden feeling of tears springing up behind your eyes. you didn’t mean for this to happen— you didn’t mean for any of it to happen. not back then, and certainly not now.
he lets the line go quiet, finally sighing into the phone after a long pause. “i missed you… so much.” he murmurs your name, and the way the rumble in his voice goes straight through you immediately reminds you why you called him in the first place.
your free hand toys with the hem of your underwear again, fighting to keep down the whimper that threatens to escape you. “missed you too,” you breathe out. god, you can’t believe you’re doing this. but for the first time in years, the man you’ve been picturing in your head is right here with you, fulfilling some of your fantasies that you never thought could ever come true.
somewhere deep in your stomach you feel guilty about it, getting off to the thought of him and he doesn’t even know it. would he want to know? would he be okay with it? would he hate you forever if he knew?
he clears his throat, snapping you back to attention and you realize you must’ve been silent for a while, thinking.
“um, so, what are you doing?” you ask, trying to seem casual, but it comes out as anything but. nobody calls anyone this late at night and asks what they’re doing without having a dirty reason for doing so. 
all you can do is hope he’s either too innocent to pick up on it, or that he doesn’t believe you’re the type of person who would call for something like that. you wonder if he still thinks of you as that perfect little obedient church girl he grew up with.
“nothing, just–working on… stuff,” he replies awkwardly. clearly he doesn’t want to go into detail about what he’s doing, and you’re already afraid you’ve interrupted his sleep; you’re mentally kicking yourself for all the blunders you’ve made, and you haven’t even been on the phone for five minutes.
“what are you doing?” he asks back, and you freeze, trying to come up with some excuse, anything. fuck, think of something!
“h-homework,” you sputter out, attempting to hide your unconfident answer with a cough.
apparently it works, because he hums in response, the line falling quiet. you hear the rustling of papers on his end, and you press your fingers harder against your cunt, heartbeat racing in your ears.
your fingers brush against your clit a little rougher than you intend, and a little whine escapes your lips, catching you off guard. you slap a hand over your mouth, hoping it had been too quiet for him to hear and he hadn’t been paying attention.
“are you…?” he asks suddenly, and your cheeks flush, caught red-handed in your sinful act.
you clear your throat, praying (both metaphorically and literally) that he doesn’t notice anything off about you. “am i what?”
his silence on the other end of the phone speaks volumes.
“joshua, oh my god, no, i–”
“what did you just say?”
you freeze. “what… did i say?”
when he speaks again, his tone is even. “don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”
that nickname again, and now you know he’s doing it on purpose. innocent, pretty words, completely changed in a split second.
you let out a short laugh, scrambling to find a cover. “must’ve forgot then.”
he hums. “i remember you spent a whole month trying to memorize the ten commandments. we must’ve been what, eight or nine? you wouldn’t have forgotten. i may not have seen you since we were kids, but i’ve still known you most of my life.”
“it was an accident, you know how it is. just slips out. of course i remember them all.”
he tsks, and it feels like your heart stops. “did you forget that lying is a sin, too? you’re two for two now, wanna try for a third?”
damn him! damn his good memory and damn his stupid witty comebacks and damn the way he so quickly manages to unravel you.
you scowl and don’t respond to his question, your silence enough of an answer for joshua to know he’s right.
“why did you call me tonight?” he asks calmly.
you answer truthfully this time. “just wanted to hear your voice again. i really did miss you.”
the phone goes quiet again, and for a second you’re afraid he’s hung up, but then you hear him exhale. “it’s late. what are you doing?”
“i’m in bed, josh. don’t worry, father, i’m not staying up past my bedtime.”
he chooses to ignore your remark. “in bed doing what?”
you give him a half-suppressed laugh. “in bed laying down. what else would i be doing?”
“well, with the way you were trying to hide your moans earlier, i would’ve figured you were doing something more exciting. but if you’re just laying down, then i don't want to keep you long, might as well hang up…”
“no!” you squeak out, cutting him off. you swallow, trying to collect yourself as you repeat the word. “no. fine, whatever, you caught me. but– please, stay.” you can hear the plea in your voice and you know you should be embarrassed at how pathetic you sound, but you aren't. the only thing you can think about is joshua, joshua, joshua, and how good it feels to talk to him again.
“i’m here,” he says softly, and you let your eyes close with a sigh, relieved he’s not going to chastise you. but as much as you’ve both changed as you grew up, deep down you knew he wouldn’t. you figure you could do just about anything and he wouldn’t try to tell you what to do. he’d always been like that, and it’s what you’d loved about him; he never tried to control you or shame you for not acting like the perfect little angel everybody wanted you to be. 
you couldn’t say the same about others in the church. maybe that’s why you’d started to drift away from them and why joshua’s friendship coming to an end had left you so devastated. he had been the one and only person you could always count on, and they had not.
“are you still there?” he asks gently, and you realize you’ve been quiet for too long thinking.
“yeah,” you say finally.
“are you still touching yourself?”
you pause, stifling a gasp, taken aback by his forwardness. hearing him say it out loud made everything seem so real, the realization setting in about what you’re actually doing. “n– no.”
and it’s true. your hand has long since dropped away from your pajama pants, too nervous about being discovered to continue.
“well, why not?” he says. “don’t stop on my account.”
your mouth falls open. “i–”
“clearly you wanted something from me when you called. what is it, sweetheart? i can’t help you if i don’t know what it is you want.”
your brain practically short circuits at that, and it takes a very long minute for you to collect your thoughts into a coherent sentence. you want a lot of things, but you don’t know what’s okay to say or not or if he even wants to keep going. which is a silly thought, because he wouldn’t have asked if he didn’t want to know. it dawns on you that maybe… maybe he’s curious, maybe he’s thinking about you, too.
“what kind of help?” you ask, still testing the waters. you think you have an idea of what he means, but you ask anyway. you’ve never done anything like this with anyone else, only by yourself; not because you didn’t want to, but because you didn’t want it to be with someone who wasn’t joshua.
“you said you wanted to hear my voice,” he says, and you swear his tone has dropped an octave. “then let me talk to you.”
you whine a little, still holding back but not putting in as much effort to hide it. “m’kay.”
“would it make you feel better if i told you i’m hard right now?”
you suck in a breath. “yeah?”
“yeah,” he says. “just thinking about you.”
you feel a rush of emotion at his admittance. pride? satisfaction? whatever it is, it makes your cunt throb, knowing that just the thought of you can get him going.
finally you dare to slide your hand down your pants again, unsurprised when you find your underwear sticking to you with how wet you are. you’re soaking, and you haven’t even done anything yet.
“hold on,” you manage, putting the call on speaker as you set your phone on the table beside your bed, scrambling to shove your pants and ruined panties off and onto the floor.
once free, you pick up your phone and turn off the speaker, holding it to your ear with shaky hands.
“all ready now?” he asks softly, and it reminds you of what he used to say before you’d play pretend games together. always making sure you were ready. he was hot back then, too, and you mentally curse yourself for never realizing it sooner.
you hum. “mhm. comfortable.”
“good,” he says, and you can almost hear him smiling. “go ahead and do whatever you’d like. but i want you to tell me what you’re thinking about right now.”
you squirm a little on the bed as you start to circle your clit with your fingers. “thinking about you, joshua,” you sigh, finally beginning to feel relief.
“yeah?”
“yeah. you look even better than i thought you would,” you groan, picking up your pace a little as you slip your index finger inside your walls.
he chuckles. “oh, really?”
“mhm. god, i never thought i’d be doing this. especially not with you.”
“and why is that, baby?”
the name makes you shiver. you’d imagined him calling you it many times, but hearing him actually say it is completely different.
“because—” you whimper, losing your train of thought when your brain suddenly pictures his fingers inside you instead of your own. “i’m so close already, please—”
his tone is gentle but firm. “i want you to stop now.”
“but– ah, feels so good, shua,” you say, moans spilling out of you, finally letting him hear everything you’ve been holding back.
you hear him curse in that low voice through the phone, and your hand stills for a split second in shock, your eyes widening. as far as you knew, he never swore. but then again, there were a lot of things he never did that you're discovering about him now. looks like you weren’t the only one who changed over the years.
“that’s not my name.”
you sit up a little in confusion, pushing your phone closer to your ear to make sure you’re hearing him right. “huh?”
“my name is joshua. if you’re gonna moan like a sinner about how good it feels when i tell you how to touch yourself, you better use my name properly.” he sounds almost angry, but it only spurs you on even further.
you let his words sink for a second before responding. “yes, sir.”
“fuck,” he moans, he actually moans, and if you weren’t already so far gone you would’ve stopped to listen closer, to ingrain the noise in your brain so you never again forget how he sounds. “what did i just tell you?”
“what, you don’t like being called ‘sir’? thought you wanted to be a pastor, joshua,” you say with a smirk, and you know he hears the mischief in your voice, daring him to give you what you want.
it’s probably a good thing he’s not physically in the room with you, because there's no way you would have been able to muster up the courage to say something like that to his face. you wouldn’t have dared to even look him in the eyes, but being on the phone gives you a head rush. because with only his voice and not seeing his face, you can convince yourself that he still isn’t real, that this whole phone call and even your meeting earlier had just been an elaborate figment of your horny imagination, your denial being the only thing saving your last shred of dignity.
“didn’t realize you’d grow up to be even more of a brat than you were before,” he scoffs, and your cunt pulses. 
“what are you doing right now?” you say, a little desperately. the change of subject isn’t very subtle but you don’t care. you won’t lie, you’ve been curious since the start of what he’s doing but he’s been so focused on you he hasn’t said anything about himself. you want to know everything about him— how he’s moving his hands, where he puts pressure, what he thinks about to get himself closer and closer.
he grunts unceremoniously. “i’m fucking my hand and pretending it’s you.”
“me too,” you whimper, closing your eyes as you focus on the movement of your fingers.
after a while he stops responding, and you can hear his heavy breaths over the line matching with your own gasps for air as you curl your fingers inside of you. you figure he must be getting close, but you ask him anyway, because you want to hear him say it.
“yeah– fuck, so close,” he chokes out, and the way his voice gets higher as he lets out a whimper is what finally makes you come undone.
with a moan of his name—his full name—you cum, clenching around your fingers as you struggle to keep your hand moving. your wrist is starting to cramp up a little from the position you’ve been in, but the pleasure coursing through you is more than worth it. it’s almost dizzying, more powerful than any orgasm you’ve had before and when you finally remove your fingers from your aching cunt your head is spinning and your heart is pounding.
you can hear a muffled string of curses through the phone and you know he’s right behind you. thoughts of him sitting on his bed run rampant in your head, imagining his stomach covered in milky cum and his pretty, pretty lips parted as he catches his breath.
the silence is heavy as you feel yourself come back down from your high. you struggle to find something to say after… whatever that just was, so you say the only thing that’s on your mind.
“i really did miss you, joshua,” you say quietly. unlike before, there’s not a hint of teasing in the way you say his name now.
and he sighs contentedly, finally hearing his name on your lips like he always wanted to. “i know. i missed you too.”
you both say your goodbyes and good nights quickly, still basking in enough of the remnants of your orgasms to not be too awkward about it. but after you’re settled in bed (for real, this time) and about to fall asleep, you can’t help but wonder if things between you and joshua will ever be anything but awkward.
a memory surfaces: you and joshua running around at the park behind the church after a sunday evening service, no older than kindergarteners, laughing and playing until you collapse on the grass. your mom called for you both to get ready to go home, and no you’re not allowed to have a sleepover because it’s a school night but maybe this weekend if his mom is okay with it. before you ran off, he thrust his pinky out towards you and you shook on it, making a pact to always be best friends, even when you can’t have sleepovers. it didn’t ever occur to either of you that there might come a day where you wouldn’t be best friends.
you don’t remember what prompted him to make the pinky promise, but you know he’s never broken it. and you can only hope that he hasn’t forgotten it.
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it’s a few days later at one of your bible study groups when you see him next, and yet again you’re caught off-guard like a deer in headlights.
you’re sitting with a group of other ladies, annotating material for a test you couldn’t care less about when you hear your name called out– a familiar deep voice you can only pray doesn’t belong to who you think it belongs to.
oh, but it does belong to him, alright. it feels like you’ve gotten the wind knocked out of you when you turn around and see joshua standing behind you, a warm smile on his face that makes you doubt anything ever happened. maybe it really was all just a delirious dream, too many years of yearning built up into one intense wet dream.
he puts a hand on your shoulder lightly, turning you away from the rest of the ladies. “hey, can we talk somewhere?”
and oh shit it was definitely not a dream.
your cheeks burn as you excuse yourself from the table, packing up your bible and pens and shoving everything in your bag as quickly as you can. you can almost hear the snickering already, the gossips whispering to each other that you must have done something unspeakable if the top-student, pastor’s son, joshua hong has to speak with you privately. ah, if only they knew.
you only wish you could go back there and wipe the smirks off of all their faces and tell them about what the perfect little gentlemen they all pretend they don’t have crushes on was doing on the phone with you last night. you wouldn’t do that, not in a million years, but just the thought of it is satisfaction enough. 
joshua leads you down the hall to a room that looks like an empty office. he opens the door for you, then closes it softly behind you.
“whose is this?” you ask, glancing around the room. 
“it’s… mine,” he says almost shyly, gesturing idly to a little engraved nameplate on the desk. joshua hong, pastor’s assistant. because of fucking course he would be.
“oh.”
he clears his throat, and in that moment you realize he’s just as nervous as you are. “listen…” he starts, taking a pause. “about the other night–”
“are you gonna kick me out?” you interrupt.
his brows knit together in confusion. “what?”
“are you gonna expel me?”
“no?” he says, still looking at you, baffled. “why would i do that? i don’t even think i have the power to, even if i wanted. which, for the record, i don’t.”
you don’t reply, focusing your gaze on the carpet instead.
he frowns. “is that really how you think of me? that i just go around tattling to my dad? from that… conversation, i thought it was clear i’m not like that anymore.”
the tips of your ears are burning at the memory of all the things you said to each other over the phone. but it never occurred to you that maybe he was just as sinful as you had been.
you stay quiet, the silence stretching on as shame and embarrassment and a hundred other emotions swirl in your mind and you struggle to figure out what to say.
luckily for you he fills the silence himself. he exhales, looking down at a stack of papers on the desk. “god, you… you don’t know how much i missed you. i thought about you all the time.”
“so did i,” you manage to whisper. “in more ways than you know.”
he gives you a teasing smile. “oh, i have a feeling i do know.”
you hold back a cough and look away, focusing your attention on a painting of flowers on the wall. “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“if that’s how you wanna play this, fine.”
your curiosity piques, and you look back at him. he motions to the seat in front of the desk, wordlessly asking you to sit. hesitantly you do, and he starts to sit down at the swivel chair behind the desk, but you clear your throat and he glances up.
“can– can you not sit over there?” you ask softly. “feels like i’m being scolded.”
his expression softens a little, and he rolls the chair back into place, opting to sit next to you instead. “of course.”
except maybe you shouldn’t have asked him to do that, because now he’s sitting toe to toe with you and the closeness is overwhelming. at least on the other side of the desk there was enough distance for you to shrink and hide behind, but here, sitting like this, he can see all of you. and you don’t particularly want to be seen right now.
the tension is palpable as he takes his seat, still watching you. you take the moment to study his features: the slope of his nose and the gentle curve of his lips, the way the light catches on his long eyelashes and the way his broad shoulders look in that perfectly tailored sunday morning service suit.
“i always liked you,” he starts, and your gaze shoots up to his eyes. you open your mouth to ask something, but he shakes his head and you immediately fall silent, letting him finish. “i was almost glad when they made us go to different sunday school classes, because i wouldn’t have to sit there and pretend i didn’t have the craziest crush on you.”
“joshua, i–” you trail off, not even knowing what to say.
he pauses, as if debating his next words. “and i know it’s wrong, but i couldn’t get you out of my head when i… y’know.” his cheeks are flushed but he doesn’t look away from you, eyes searching your own for any hesitance or any sign that you don’t want this.
it’s then that you realize that the boldness you had felt hiding behind your phone, he had felt it too. saying words alone in your room at night was easy. sitting in public, in the daylight, and saying those same words to his face was so much scarier. and knowing that you’re both feeling awkward and shy and a little uncertain of how to talk about it gives you the confidence to keep going.
“when you would what?” you pry. you already know the answer but you want to hear it come out of his mouth anyway. you’ve already heard him say it, but something about sitting in his office, in a church, speaking such filth ignites a spark in you that’s completely different from the spark you felt a few nights ago.
he clears his throat and looks you in the eye, maybe gaining a little bit of that confidence, too. “when i would jerk off i would always wish it was your sweet little mouth instead of my own hand.”
you inhale sharply, and that’s when he finally breaks eye contact, his guilt-ridden gaze shifting to the wall behind you as his cheeks burn redder. “i didn’t feel good about it. felt like i was doing it without your permission, and i didn’t want that. i–”
“yes,” you say hurriedly.
he stops short at your interruption, instantly looking back at you. “yes…?”
“yes, you have my permission. whatever you want, joshua, always.”
his eyes narrow, almost imperceptibly, but you recognize it. even after all these years, after so much has changed, you still know his tells. you wonder if he still knows yours.
he murmurs your name in response, almost like a warning. “don’t say stuff like that,” he says, letting out a shaky breath.
“why not?” you ask, feigning innocence. but you know exactly what you’re doing, and you know exactly how you affect him: the same way he affects you.
he looks up at you. “you really are just as much of a brat as you were back then, aren’t you?” he says with just a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
“why don’t you find out?”
he groans, leaning back in his chair. “do you know how long i’ve wanted to kiss you?” he says finally.
“probably just as long as i’ve wanted to kiss you,” you counter, and he raises an eyebrow.
you both stand up at the same moment, closing the distance in less than a second. 
you stare at his chest in front of you to avoid his eyes, until he brings up a hand and gently tilts your chin, forcing you to look at him.
“are– you gonna get in trouble?” you breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears as you stare at his perfect, perfect lips.
he hums, and it sends a shiver down your spine at the close proximity. “are you still giving me permission?” he asks, and you quickly shake your head yes. 
“always.”
he smooths his thumb across your cheek. “then i won’t be in any trouble at all."
and then his hand moves to hold the back of your neck and he's tilting his head and bringing his lips towards yours and then finally, after years of dreaming about it and even more years of denying it, you're finally kissing joshua and there's so many things happening at once that you can't seem to focus on anything because your mind is so full of everything and nothing and joshua and it all just feels so right.
you’re melting in his arms and falling into his touch and enjoying every fucking second of it. your heart speeds up when his hands slide behind your back, wrapping around your body to pull you closer to him, pressed chest to chest.
he pulls away to kiss you again, and again, and again, and you decide you’d be content to be like this forever, standing in his office in the church building making out like you’re the only two people on earth. 
but finally his lips leave yours, and he takes a tiny step backwards, heaving out a shaky breath as he looks you in the eyes. “what are we gonna do now?”
your heart plummets, doubts racing through your mind. did he not like it? does he not like you? did you really just ruin everything? why did he stop? why did he ask that—
but all your questions are answered in an instant when he coughs and you look down, finally noticing the prominent bulge in his dress pants. oh. that.
when you look back up at him his cheeks are flushed bright red, and he immediately begins to apologize.
“shua,” you call out to him, repeating his name the way you know he likes. “joshua. don’t worry about it. it’s fine.”
in fact, you find it incredibly flattering, that just a few kisses and gentle touches could get him this worked up. maybe it really has been you all along.
with a surge of confidence, you step back towards him, wrapping your arms around him and leaning to kiss him. “are you busy today?” you murmur, your cheek brushing against his.
he shudders, hands automatically finding your waist and pushing your hips against his own. “no. are you?”
you sigh, kissing the corner of his mouth. “not anymore.”
“fuck,” he curses, his grip on your body tightening “you really want to…?” he asks, almost shyly, as if he’s in denial this is really happening.
“absolutely,” you say, and you’ve never meant anything more in your life.
in a second he’s got you shoved against his desk, sending papers flying to the floor as he lifts you by your ass to sit you down on top of it. your kisses turn rougher and needier, your hands grabbing at anything you can reach to ground yourself: his hair, his shoulders, his back.
finally he breaks free, dropping to his knees in front of the desk. “please, let me eat you out.”
you moan out loud, probably too loudly for the thin walls of the office. but the visual of him on his knees to do anything other than pray drives you mad, and you need more of him, desperately. “joshua, please.”
he pushes your skirt up your thighs, moving it out of his way so he can stare eye to eye with your pussy. you whimper and instinctively try to hide your face in embarrassment, but something tells you he wouldn’t like that, so you resist, keeping your hands firmly planted on the edge of the desk.
“fuck, you’re soaking,” he says, his voice broken. “you’re so perfect.”
his hands reach up to tug at the hem of your underwear, and he looks up at you, silently asking for permission to continue. you nod eagerly, lifting your hips off the desk so he can slide them off of you, revealing your glistening entrance.
he whines at the sight, pretty lips parted in shock? awe? as if he can’t wait to taste you. he pushes his face into your pussy, gently at first, but when you moan and bring your hand up to his hair he dives deeper.
the moment he attaches his mouth to your clit, you jump, gasping as you try to shut your legs around his head but his large hands keep you held open. his tongue explores every inch of you, moving back and forth, up and down, mapping out your cunt with his mouth. 
“fuck, never dreamed you’d taste so good,” he sighs against your pussy, leaning away to take a breath after what feels like forever.
your legs are shaking and your cunt is throbbing as you also try to catch your breath. you’re not used to being touched like this and you’re definitely not used to being touched by joshua. so many thoughts running through your head and not a single one of them coherent enough to put into words. all you can do is weakly whine out joshua’s name and tug on his hair, pleading for him to keep going. you need release, and you don’t want it from anyone but him.
he stands up, his pants wrinkled from kneeling on the floor but still tented with a bulge so uncomfortably large you feel dizzy just thinking about it. you don’t even know if he’s going to fuck you or even if he wants to, but god you want to see his cock so bad. too many restless nights spent thinking about it, and now you might finally have the chance to see it in front of your face.
your mouth waters at the thought, and you start to slide off the desk, but joshua stops you. “what are you…?”
you look up at him, eyes blown wide with lust and you don’t even attempt to hide your eagerness. “please let me suck your dick. joshua, please.”
he whines, running a hand through his hair. “god, i want that so bad, but… i don’t think i can last if you do, and i was really hoping to fuck you.”
you close your eyes and roll your head back, moaning at his vulgar confession. but he sighs, and he sounds almost defeated, and you look back at him quickly, afraid he’s suddenly changed his mind.
“i’m not—prepared,” he admits, and you tilt your head in confusion before it sinks in what he means.
“ah. don’t suppose you would have any condoms lying around, would you, mr. pastor’s assistant?” you ask playfully, and he shoots you a glare.
“brat,” he mutters under his breath, but you hear it, and your walls clench in response. “no, i don’t have any. not interested in anybody else, so… no reason to.” he looks like he has more to say, more serious things to say, but he keeps his mouth shut, his eyes searching your face nervously.
your stomach flips at his words, feeling your cheeks heating up. you hadn’t thought you would ever get this far, and especially not with him. because of the kind of school you were at, it wasn’t like the people here were doing the kind of things you’ve been doing—at least not publicly. even if you’d wanted to hook up with somebody (which you didn’t), everyone in your vicinity would shame you for even bringing it up. you may have experience with yourself, but anything with anyone else is completely new territory for you.
you fall silent, not sure how to continue the conversation as all your newfound confidence begins to crumble. what were you thinking? caught up in the heat of the moment, saying things you weren’t sure you meant. you were in love with him: that much you were sure of. but everything that comes after that is too new, too scary, at least for right now. you can barely even comprehend that he just went down on you, but you know you enjoyed it and honestly, you’d give anything for him to do it again. but there’s too much going on inside your head for you to even begin to process that right now.
he calls your name and you blink, looking back at him anxiously. “we… don’t have to. right now, or even at all,” he says gently. the tips of his ears are burning red but his voice is calm and steady.
“joshua, i want to,” you start, clasping your hands tightly together in your lap to give you something to focus on other than the way he’s watching you so intently. “but i– don’t know how.”
“neither do i, baby,” he says. the nickname makes you shiver; even though it’s not the first time he’s called you that, especially after the other night, you’re still not used to it. but somehow it’s comforting, and it makes you relax knowing that he’s still the same person you grew up with, the same person that knows almost everything about you. you’ve both changed so much, but deep down you haven’t changed at all.
he pauses when you don’t say anything back. “we’ll wait, then,” he says and wraps his arms around you, lightly at first but then squeezing when you don’t try to pull away. “we have all the time in the world. no need to rush.”
“we… do?” your voice is laced with uncertainty.
he smiles. “of course. i let you go once already, i’m not letting it happen again. never again.”
you turn your head away from him and hide your face, flustered by how sincere he sounds. he hums, and you can hear the pout in his tone so you fight your embarrassment and turn back towards him to ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind since you first saw him days ago. “this is gonna sound so stupid, but… shua, what are we?”
first you were childhood friends, you were best friends, and then you were nothing. right place, wrong time? and then you were… doing something on the phone together, whatever you could call that. and now you were just sitting on top of his desk, sweating from having almost had sex. how do you even begin to put a label on this?
“well, i’d like to be yours,” he says shyly, and just like that all your questions are answered with six small words. you realize it doesn’t matter what label you have; as long as you have him, that’s all that matters.
“yes,” you breathe, lifting your eyes to finally meet his and you see all the love in his eyes threatening to spill over.
he reaches up to brush a piece of your hair out of your face. “i’m just glad i finally have you back,” he says with a soft smile as he watches you. “we’ll go slow, we’ll wait— whatever you want. whatever it takes not to lose you again.”
you bury your face in his chest with a whine. you’re hiding again, but even the uncomfortable scratchiness of his dress shirt can’t pull you away from him.
“besides, i don’t want our first time together to be in my stupid little office,” he chuckles and holds you tighter against him, pressing a kiss to the top of your head that makes your heart flutter. “you deserve better than that.”
you stay there for a long moment, hugging him like it's the last time you'll ever see him. but this time you know it won't be the last. it's the first, the first of hopefully many, many more.
when you feel like you've been standing there too long, you clear your throat and lean your head back to look at him. "so, um… now what?"
he pauses, those pretty lips turned up in a smile. "do you have plans for lunch?"
"no, i just had that study group you pulled me from. i'm free for the rest of the day."
his smile widens. "perfect. you still like grilled cheese, or did you grow out of that, too?"
you laugh, putting your chin on his shoulder as you hug him. "i haven't changed that much, shua."
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after taking a while to collect yourselves (waiting for his erection to go back down so you can leave together without looking suspicious), you walk out of joshua’s office the happiest you've felt in years.
he'd wanted to hold your hand, too, but you were still anxious about anyone seeing you together that you'd refused him until you made it to his car. you were probably just being paranoid and no one would care about two responsible adults talking to each other, but all the time you'd spent hiding from your peers had put you on edge.
so, it wasn't until you were safely out of the church parking lot and in the driveway of his apartment complex that you let him touch you, kissing you over the cupholders with his hands gently holding your neck.
it took everything in you not to climb over the center console and sit on his lap in the driver's seat and kiss him as hard and as deeply as you really wanted, but you knew once you started you wouldn't be able to stop. and besides, he still didn't have any condoms. it didn't bother you either way, since you'd been taking birth control since high school to help with your periods, but if it was what he wanted you'd be more than fine with it.
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you don't know what you'd been expecting the inside his apartment to look like; probably some tacky cross-stitch bible verses or a wooden cross hanging on the wall, but his apartment just looked like… a normal apartment. a very clean apartment, actually, though you weren't surprised. he'd always been a neat, organized kid, and it looked like that was one thing he hadn't grow out of.
you watch as he puts his keys on a hook by the door, following him into the kitchen and sitting at one of the chairs.
he grins at you as he opens his refrigerator, pulling out the ingredients for your lunch before taking out a pan.
"shua…" you interrupt him, standing up and walking towards him slowly. "you're not— really thinking about grilled cheese sandwiches right now, are you?"
he hums, eyes following your every movement as the pan sits cold and abandoned on the stove. "there are… other things on my mind, yeah."
"so why are you still trying to make grilled cheese sandwiches?"
by now you're close enough to stand toe to toe with him, and you're sure he can feel the heat radiating off your body when he wraps his hands around your waist, backing you against the kitchen counter. "because i wanna make you lunch. maybe i just wanna spoil my girl a little bit."
a shiver runs down your spine at the new name he calls you. never in a million years did you think this is where you'd end up.
"i think you have all the time in the world to spoil me later, joshua," you mumble, leaning in closer and closer until your lips touch.
in a flash he's hoisting you up and sitting you on the counter. his mouth never leaves yours as you slide your legs around his hips to drag him closer, kisses growing deeper and more desperate now that you can finally be alone together.
his hands slide down your body, tugging at the hem of your shirt and only breaking apart for a second to slide it over your head before his lips are crashing against yours again. 
your hands find his hips, experimentally tugging on his belt to see his reaction. immediately he pulls away from you, 
cheeks flushed and breathing heavily. "sweetheart, i still don't have any condoms. if you really want to now, then we gotta run to the store first."
“i’m on the pill,” you burst out, hoping he gets the message. maybe he has some other reason for wanting to, but you're too impatient to wait for who knows how long it'll take to go to the store, and you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off him for that long. you don't think you'll be able to keep your hands off of him for even a few seconds.
his face goes blank as he processes your words, struggling to understand if you’re saying what he thinks you’re saying. “you’d let me…?”
you grab onto his arms, a desperate attempt to pull him closer, to feel more of him. “raw, yes, joshua. just—please, i need you,” you beg him, cunt throbbing with neglect as you wait for him to answer. 
he buries his face in your shoulder with a groan, gripping his hands underneath your thighs and sliding you off the counter.
with a shriek you wrap your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck, holding on tightly as he starts to walk out of the kitchen carrying you. "joshua! what the hell are you doing?"
his face is still pressed against your shoulder, and you can feel his lips tickling your bare skin as he speaks. "i'll fuck you on my kitchen counter any day of the week, baby, but i want to have you for the first time in my bed, please?"
his voice is low and whiny, just as desperate for you as you are for him and it makes you moan with excitement. 
he finds his way into his room, stumbling a little when he accidentally runs you into the wall instead of through the doorway, but you just giggle and kiss him harder until he finally drops you on his bed, immediately unbuttoning his shirt.
you run your hands along his chest as he leans over you, feeling the toned muscle that feels almost wrong to be seeing. his physical changes are much more obvious to you now that he's like this, and you know the image will fuel your fantasies for weeks.
your hands move to his belt again and this time he allows it, letting you unbuckle it and toss it away before slowly lowering the zipper. he's already hard again, and your heart races when you put a little bit of pressure on the seam and he lets out a guttural groan in response.
his arms flex as he reaches down to slide your skirt off, and you help him and kick the fabric away, leaving both of you in nothing but your underwear.
joshua pauses, letting his gaze wander your body as you look away shyly. he hums and you look back at him in confusion. "don't hide from me, sweetheart, please," he says, but it comes out more like a whine; not like he's asking, but like he's begging. it's honestly the hottest thing you've ever heard, and even with your nerves he makes it hard to resist.
"dreamt about this for fucking years. years," he moans as he leans over to kiss your chest, reaching behind your body to undo your bra and let it fall away. you whimper when he brings his hands up to cup your breasts, wrapping his mouth around one of your nipples as he starts to slowly grind against your clothed pussy. you can already feel yourself soaking through your panties, and you're sure he can feel it, too.
his hands are like nothing you've ever felt, and you roll your head back against his pillows, arching into him as he massages your breasts with his large hands. you'd noticed them before, but you hadn't realized just how big they were until they were on top of you and made your body seem almost tiny beneath his massive palms.
"shua…" you breathe, tentative hands reaching up to touch his shoulders.
he looks up at you, mouth covered in spit. "yes, angel?"
you whimper at the nickname. no angel you'd ever learned about in sunday school had acted like you are right now, begging a man to fuck you. and on top of that it was before marriage, too; surely if there was a god they would be extremely disappointed in you. but right now you didn't care if the entire universe was disappointed in you, as long as joshua hong wasn't.
it takes you a few more seconds to build up your courage, but finally you open your mouth and tell him, "joshua, please— fuck me."
he slides forward to kiss you again, before sitting back and repositioning himself between your legs. "anything you want, sweetheart."
he lines his cock up at your entrance, and just before you think he's about to push into you, he looks up at you instead. 
"i love you, so much," he says, and you have to fight the urge to hide your face as you grin and giggle like a fucking schoolgirl; like the past version of you would have, if she'd had any sense and figured everything out sooner.
and, like always, he asks, "ready?", and you nod, and it's better than you could've ever imagined.
the whines that leave his mouth drive you close to the edge already as he begins to thrust into you, slowly, gently, just a little bit at a time but it still leaves you gasping from his size.
he keeps moving at a snail's pace until you reach up, fumbling to grab at his bicep as tears nearly spill out of your eyes and beg him, "joshua, more, please."
he leans over you, pressing his body flat against yours as he starts to rock his hips faster, and you cry out from so much pleasure and so much emotion hitting all at once.
"wanted you so fucking bad, for so long, and now you're finally here," he whispers, his thrusts never faltering despite how close in proximity he is to your face.
you whine as your hands claw at his back, digging in as you struggle to hold on and he curses again, pushing into you harder.
"you said i was better than you imagined," he groans, one hand coming up to caress your cheek. "but you're even better than i imagined. you're a fucking angel, so fucking beautiful."
you gasp his name, falling into your orgasm from his words alone as you clench impossibly tight around him. you always thought of him as the nice kid, the rule follower, but here he is, fucking you through the hardest orgasm of your life and saying such filthy things in between praises and compliments.
"jo-oshua, please!" is all you can manage, still struggling to recover before he crests into his own high with a whimper. his eyes scrunch up as he releases inside you, eyelashes fluttering and sweat dripping down his temples, and you think it's the most beautiful sight you've ever seen. 
a constant stream of curses fall from his lips and you swallow them with yours, kissing him as if you're afraid he might disappear into thin air if you don't hold onto him tight enough.
his breaths are shallow when his mouth falls away from you, resting his forehead on your shoulder with a long exhale.
"god…" he starts, then stops and laughs, and you have to tug on his hair to make him face you again.
"what are you laughing at?" you say, cheeks growing hot when he looks at you with droopy, hooded eyes and a lopsided smile.
"nothing," he laughs. "just god. what a funny word."
"and why is that, baby?" you say as you try to hold back a smile, testing out the nickname.
he grins. "because it gave me you. or maybe it didn't. who knows?"
you finally laugh along with him, remembering what he'd said to you on the phone that feels like years ago. "don’t you know it’s a sin to take the lord’s name in vain, sweetheart?”
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the church is humming with activity as you make your way to the front pew, carrying two donuts in your hand. people greet you as they mingle about the hall, talking and laughing. some wave excitedly when they see you, others simply smile and offer their hand for you to shake with a friendly “good morning and god bless!”
being a pastor’s wife isn’t something you ever imagined yourself doing, but then again, a lot of things in your life you never imagined doing. you never imagined seeing joshua again, and you never imagined marrying him, either. you certainly didn’t imagine taking over your father-in-law’s church when he retired and decided it was time for joshua to take his place as head of the church. you always knew he would someday, whether he wanted to or not, but you’d be happy to spend the rest of your life by his side no matter where he was or what job he had.
you’d been almost nervous when you decided it was finally time to tell your parents you had been seeing each other, but to your surprise they had been overjoyed at the news. both his family and yours were “just so glad when it happened to be you!”, saying things like “we’d always known it would happen, back since you were children!”, and “so when are we going to get some beautiful little grandchildren to take to sunday school!”
it had been five long and happy years since that very first phone call, and every minute you spend with joshua has been the best of your life.
you walk up the steps to the stage where your husband is waiting, flipping through his notes for the morning’s sermon. you hand him his donut with a grin, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. he smirks at you, imperceptible to everyone else but you can tell what it truly means.
everybody in the congregation always talks you’re the perfect example of a happy, god-loving couple. such nice looking people, so well put together. but behind closed doors, they’d be horrified by the things you say and do together. wolf in sheep’s clothing, as is your husband’s favorite parable to preach.
it’s not the life you imagined, but it’s perfect to you and him.
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i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging with tags or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
> taglist | @wonderfulshinee @noniestars @onlymingyus @just-here-to-read-01 @wonuziex @enhacolor @yourfavoritefreakyhan @dkakapizzaboy @zozojella @rainyjeno @jwnghyuns @darlingvernon @uwuheeseungie @miriamxsworld @synthetickitsune @simeonswhore @junhour @foxdaisy @honglynights
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nochukoo97 · 2 months
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we can’t be friends (wait for your love) - teaser
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pairing: childhoodfriend!jk x childhoodfriend!oc
summary: you and jungkook have been friends since birth, and as you both grow into teenagers, you can’t help but have some sorr of longing feeling towards him. but after a turn of events, you move away from your home town, growing apart from the boy you onced were close to. almost a decade later when you decide to move back, there’s someone familiar yet unfamiliar waiting for your arrival… was this the universe giving you a sign about him?
warnings/tags: story starts off when the both of them are children, but most of the plot is when they are adults :)), eventual: kissing, an emotional rollercoaster 🥲, they’re stuck in a ‘what are we’ moment, playing a waiting game of who confesses first, a little bit of angst, smut, but fluff too hehe
a/n: IM BACK 🥲 after being in writers block sighhh but i am back hehehe hope u r excited for this!! anyways this is just an intro for the actual fic, its more of what happened before the present which will be in the main part hehehe
TAGLIST OPEN!!
(this is the introduction, the main part is coming soon :)))
MASTERLIST
23 July 2007
You’re currently wedged between two bookshelves in the living room of your house, eyes trained on the words in your book, giggling to yourself when the plot takes a funny turn. Meanwhile in the background, Jungkook and your brother Taehyung, both a year older than you, the two ten year old boys play fighting in your parents backyard, their game was way too rough for you to even watch, you decided.
That’s always the way it’s been since you were young, Jungkook’s mum dropping him off at your parents place as he spent time with your brother, mostly roughhousing like they are now, and you, at nine years old, simply tucking yourself in another fairytale, which to you seemed like a much better way to past time.
You never truly spent a lot of time with the two of them when Jungkook would come over, besides the once-in-a-while moments where your parents would make you guys bond a little through board games or card games which the two elder boys would never take seriously, the games always ending in them either throwing the board game pieces at each other or stacking the cards into a pyramid.
When it came to school, you tried your best to stay away from bumping into your brother at school, but you’d always end up being teased in front of your friends by him and Jungkook, making fun of your two pigtails or your very glittery pink bag you had just gotten as a birthday gift, but you were used to it anyways, having grown up with a brother.
12 August 2011
Four years go by and now you’re finally completing your last year in middle school, Jungkook and your brother having moved on to high school, and as expected, they end up attending the same school, as they have done their whole life.
But since four years ago, a lot has changed. You’ve grown much closer to Jungkook, having gone on quite a few trips with his family, and you could even consider him a close friend. Most importantly, he’d grown from being a kid to a teenager, even though he was only a year older than you, the 14 year old boy suddenly became someone you always wanted to hang out with. To you, you saw him as someone cool. Instead of teasing you along with your brother, he now would defend you from your brother’s teasing, treat you to ice cream on the weekends and even teach you the video games he played with your brother.
“And then he let me get as many toppings as I wanted,” You tell your friends, clicking the buttons on your phone to show them the picture of your ice cream, filled to the brim with all sorts of toppings because Jungkook said you could.
“You’re so lucky, I wish I had a boyfriend like that,” Jiyeon sighs, pouting her lips as she sulks.
Your face turns red, tip of your ears warm as you quickly deny, “He isn’t my boyfriend! Just a friend… In fact he was my brother’s friend first,” No, you couldn’t even begin to try and imagine Jungkook as someone more than your friend!
“Well, but you should definitely confess to him on valentine’s day, it’s in like six months,” Yuji twirls her hair, nudging your leg slightly as she giggled.
To the three of you, as 13 year old girls, having a valentine was a big deal, especially since the whole idea of a crush and all was new to you guys as teenage girls.
“No! I don’t have feelings for him! He’s just nice to me I guess,” You frown at Yuji, just because she confessed to her crush and now apparently has a boyfriend, doesn’t mean you need to do it too, you decided.
You didn’t have a crush on Jungkook right?
You push away the thought quickly, this whole topic was so taboo to you, it made you feel squirmy thinking about it. No, you didn’t have any sort of feelings towards the older boy, never.
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So that day when you arrived back at home, spotting Jungkook and Taehyung sitting at the table and doing their homework, you decide to take a seat away from the certain boy.
“Huh? Why are you sitting all the way there? Come back here,” Jungkook hums, pulling out his earphones in bewilderment, you had always sat next to him whilst the three of you would do homework together after school, nudging him here and there to ask for help with a math problem.
“I- okay,” You scooch towards the chair next to him, dragging your books along the table as you avoid eye contact. Your cheeks heating up again as you remember your conversation with your friends in school earlier, it made you feel all tingly inside, but why were you being so weird in front of him?
“You’ve been staring at that math problem for ages, need help?”
You jump up in surprise at Jungkook’s voice , letting out a small yelp as your brother snickers at you from across the table, you kick his shin in response, sending his hands flailing to the injury, mumbling some cuss word you don’t understand.
“Yeah,” You only muster out a whisper, handing over your pencil to the boy, who finds your behaviour a little off but nonetheless, doesn’t comment on it.
And while he explains the solution and working to find the value of X, you can only notice his eyes, his nose, the mole under his lips, the scar on his cheek from when he fought with your brother years ago, his lips.
And then you for yourself to snap out of your daydream when his eyes lock with yours in confusion as to why you’re staring at him instead of your workbook.
03 January 2012
But then five months later, opportunity for valentine’s day didn’t even come for you anyways, as you pack your bags to move miles away from the place you once called home, since your father had been posted to a new country for his work.
The whole idea of leaving your life behind and all the people you’ve ever known since young was such an overwhelming feeling that you didn’t even think once about your feelings for Jungkook anymore, or maybe you did once, but it didn’t matter.
So when you tugged your luggage and watch your brother sadly hug his best friend goodbye at the airport, reality struck, you wouldn’t ever get a chance to even properly assess your feelings for Jungkook anyways, so you simply wave him goodbye, not looking back so you don’t think further than a goodbye.
He did make sure to exchange his Instagram and Facebook with you, promising you and your brother to keep in touch, which you agreed to. Maybe there was a part of you that wanted to cling onto the idea of him, but you didn’t let yourself believe that anyways.
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babiexiao · 2 years
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i just need to rant abt smth so pls scroll because im embarrassed + it’s not important but i need to cry a bit haha
#very… very not good mentally idk#I’ve been obsessing over the fact I’m never going to fall in love or experience love the way everyone else will / does#mostly because i have been fucking traumatised by the shit that happened on my holiday with a potential idk husband igg?? arranged marriage#shit it’s bleh and yah ive been so fuckrd up by it anyway fuck their family they are a bunch of asses :) but still#idk what they told my dad but he didn’t… speak to me properly for the last two and a half months and that really hurt me even more hehehe#like it’s only been just over two weeks since he actually started talking to me properly rather than just saying two words to me#i hate it i don’t want to disappoint him again even though ik it wasn’t my fault in any way but i overthink and panic#and i just??? idk i don’t go out enough or have any friends irl it seems like so i never speak to males#fuck i don’t even know how to speak to males#let alone hang out with one or develop feelings I’m too scared to used dating apps and shit idkkk im really fucking upset about it#i just#really want to experience love#i want to fall in love and BE loved in the way that i imagine it to be like or the way I’ve seen people be loved but it’s… just#never going to happen and i’m sad#or to just have a crush that#would be so cute idk i'm never going to fucking experience that either lmfao#i just want.. love.. :/#it’s so fucking minor too like this is the dumbest reason to cry over and be sad about but here i am lmfaooo very funny#sighs#idk#i feel like a failure too#idk what im doing with my life lol#fuck#anyways#let me go cry for a bit again lololol#iwatxh me regain sanity and regret every crying about this
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tiredfox64 · 1 month
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Hellooo! First of all, I love your fics, especially Tomas's. They are very entertaining and the way you write is just great ^^
This is more of a question than a request, although you can develop it further if you want.
How would the linkuei trio react to a s/o who says "I hate men... except you"
It came to me out of nowhere and I thought it was funny 🙃
There Are Exceptions
Prior notes: Hehehe I throughly enjoyed writing this. Also I forgot to say this with other people’s requests who gave me compliments but thank you so much for liking my writing! (*´∀`*)
Pairing: Lin Kuei Bros x Afab reader
Warnings ‼️: Men
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Bi-Han
These dim witted, nitwit goobers who serve your husband are too much to handle. All they know how to do is punch and kick. They have no other survival instincts that can save their asses.
It’s so tiring being the one to try to help them with whatever. A woman can only do so much.
You tried teaching them how to sew only for them to say something stupid like it’s a woman’s hobby. Forget about cooking. You have never seen someone screw up scramble eggs so much that it doesn’t even form. How the fuck does it stay watery? And why are you the only one who knows how to fold clothes? Screw steaming out their wrinkles.
Your last straw today came in the nighttime when one of the clansmen came up to you and ask the most stupidest question you have ever heard.
“Uhm, some of the men were telling me that a woman’s period was when she peels her skin every month. Is that true? Cause if it is you hide it well.” This clueless assassin…oh goodness.
You just stared blankly at the young man. It had to be a joke, right? They can’t be that stupid. Actually, you don’t want to know if they are that stupid. You walked away briskly with one thing on your mind and you had to shout it out. The moment you walk into your bedroom you slammed the door shut and screamed,
“I hate men!”
Bi-Han was already in bed, waiting for you to come around. He stared at you with that grumpy expression he always has before folding his arms in front of his chest. A low grumble was being emitted by him.
How can you say you hate men when you are married to one? One that treats you like the queen you are considered you are the grandmaster’s wife. He is also one who pleasures you till you are fully satisfied. Course, it’s more like you have to go on until he is satisfied.
“…except you.”
“Mhm, that’s right. I should be the exception here. I am the grandmaster, I deserve your full respect.” Bi-Han reminded you of his role as if he doesn’t do so every day.
“And you are also my husband,” you walked up to him and placed a kiss on his forehead, “Now would you mind spooning me for tonight.”
“After that outburst, I am unsure if you deserve it.” Now he’s just being petty.
You pouted as you changed into your sleepwear. If Bi-Han looked for at least five seconds he would have caved. But he looked away immediately to prevent himself from changing his decision. You huffed as you slipped into bed. You went on your side and pretended like you didn’t care. You did because you always lost the idgaf war.
“Please, I love you.” You said over your shoulder.
Bi-Han let out a groan before turning over and wrapping his arms around your waist. Haha you win.
You may not like men but you love this man. You like this man because he’s your man.
Kuai Liang
Why does no one think of the logical answer to something?
You go out to the market all the time so you could help feed the Shirai Ryu. It helps lessen responsibilities for your husband. But even this simple task is made difficult and stupid because of some of the venders. More specifically the men.
You asked for watermelon and they hand you plastic containers with the funkiest bits of watermelon. They are discolored and are definitely past their ripeness. Yet they all tell you it’s fine. It’s not fine! It’s not good quality! Why even cut the watermelon in the first place you can do it yourself!
You want some mangos? Well you can’t fucking have any because they don’t got it. Oh what’s that? A BUNCH OF FUCKING MANGOS RIGHT BEHIND THEM! And they tell you that those are honey mangoes you didn’t specifically ask for those. They told you no because they thought you wanted Haden mangoes. Just give the woman a fucking mango!
You’re so over those male venders. They never even help you pack the carts up.
You’re too tired went you get back to the temple. You let everyone else pack the food away without helping out this time. You can’t be bothered. You take your shoes off, step into the temple, and sigh heavily.
“I hate men.” You groaned.
You didn’t realize Kuai Liang was coming up to you to greet you. You looked up and saw his face. He stared blankly with a bit of concern.
“…except you.”
You wanted to make it right so you ran up to him, giving him many kisses and hugging him.
“What has made you so hateful, my love? Did someone at the market bother you?” He asked with concern.
Kuai Liang was not at all mad at what you said. He found it odd which meant there was something wrong. His hands went up to check if maybe it was something physical. He would hate to find out you were hurt while out. What kind of husband would he be if he can’t protect his wife?
“Many people bothered me at the market today. Some people are unfortunate stupid.” You replied.
“Perhaps you can tell me all about it in bed. I’ll make you some tea to help with the stress.” He took your hands as you both walked to the bedroom.
Kuai Liang is the kind of man you need in your life. If only the men at the market had his intelligence. Though you do like being cared for when there is any sign of distress from you. It makes you feel like a princess.
Tomas
To help train the Earthrealm champions is like trying to train a seal, a kangaroo, a bison, and a Komodo dragon to leap at least a meter out of the water. One will succeed, another will jump but not reach it, another one won’t try to jump, and the other will be too busy trying to mate with you.
They are all nice in their own way but Johnny is the worst of them all. You tell him you are happily married and it’s in one ear and out the other. Just because his marriage failed doesn’t mean yours has to.
Kenshi is alright he just has stubborn. He believes it’s nerves that wins fights. If that were true why does he keep failing to you. And when he is not going against you he’s going after Johnny’s throat. You get it, Johnny won’t give back Sento. But now is not the time to bust his ass.
Kung Lao just gets on everyone’s nerves. You have never seen a bunch of monks ready to implode and strangle someone. Don’t forget that you almost lost your head because he flung his hat in the wrong direction. All you got back was a small ‘sorry’ before he took his hat and ran off.
And Raiden…he’s fine. He’s done no wrong.
Yet no matter what you always have to return and help the fools. You give and give and what do you receive? Hell!
You are exhausted when you return home. You don’t talk to anyone you just go straight to your bedroom. You let out a groan the whole time and when the door closes you let that groan become words.
“I hate men.”
Tomas was already waiting for you in the bedroom. He was walking up to you to hug you until he heard those words. He looked concerned and even a little sad.
Well he’s a man, do you hate him? Did he do something wrong? He hopes he didn’t, he doesn’t want an unhappy wife.
Your attitude immediately went away at the sight of Tomas.
“…except you.”
You ran into his arms and hugged him tight. You could never hate a man like Tomas. He is your husband after all. You picked a good one compared to all the other men that you have seen.
“I’m guessing they upset you again.” He asked.
You nodded. The day is already over you don’t feel like talking about every single stupid thing that they did. Tomas understood and hugged you tight.
“Do you want me to beat them up?” He whispered jokingly in your ear.
For once today you laughed. He always manages to bring a smile to your face. You wish you could let him but that would be a bad decision. Though it’s funny to think about. He was just happy to hear that wonderful laugh of yours. It just shows that he’s a good man to you. He can turn a frown upside down and make you see the good in men. Or at least the good in him.
After notes: Can you tell I got pissed off with Kuai Liang’s part? That shits a little too true. Those instacart tik toks be crazy. Here’s a little experience of when I hated men: one didn’t take no for an answer for YEARS. He still can’t take no even from other girls. But most of the men I know are good. Alright enough yip yap I must march on. Adiós!
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scarvain · 2 months
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✶ STARGIRL — hamzahthefantastic x reader
002 ✶ Admire Me
stargirl masterfile – next – previous
SUMMARY: hamzah has a crush on a youtuber who's always out and about and slushies see their relationship progress on social media! (smau)
DISCLAIMER: reader is a brown haired girl and for some pics that aren't faceless, i'll be using olivia rodrigo cause i love her and she’s filipino like me hehehe
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liked by devonleecarlson, kalynnkoury, and others
ynln new vid is up ft funny ppl
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user001 SLUSHYNOOBZ AND Y/N WTF!!!!!
user637 where did u get this sweater omds
↳ ynln theres no tag and its not minee
↳ user417 IS IT HAMZAHS
user890 HAMZAH SWEATER
user145 awww carl and fish
user791 HAVE U GUYS SEEN THE VIDEO HAMZAH KEEPS LOOKING AT HERRRRR
hamzahthefantastic nice sweater i guess
↳ ynln this is what u look like rn 🤓 anw thanks for the sweater
↳ user369 DOES THIS CONFIRM IT???!!!?!
becoming a slushynoob for a day
44k views • 5 hours ago
uploaded by ynln
"hey you guys, does this place look familiar to you?" you tried to ask with the straight face, looking straight into the camera, trying to ignore the two boys that stood right beside it.
but right before you say your next sentence, you burst into laughter. "oh my fucking god—it's like that she sent me her location trend on tiktok!" you cover your mouth as you laugh even more.
"what does that even mean?" martin asks with a confused face and hamzah just shrugs at him, still off screen.
"okay, today i am at the slushynoob hospital because..." you look up at them and hamzah mutters the word virus multiple times for you to say. "i got the virus on me and only two wonderful doctors can help me, mind joining me here?" you signal for them to sit by the couch now and martin jumps on it, crashing the side of his body on his yellow couch.
hamzah sighs but then he notices you were smiling at him, inviting him to sit next to you which he obliged to.
they introduced themselves before the boys explained what they were planning on doing.
"okay! so first thing is your outfit, hamzah hand me what we've prepared for y/n today." martin crosses his legs and puts his hands out.
the curly haired boy reached to the side for the clothes they prepared. "you can choose between the martin's orange vest or this camo sweater." hamzah said in a weird "cool" tone which made martin bite his lips to stop himself from laughing.
it was clear to martin that his friend was trying to look good in front of the girl he liked. it was for sure going to be a long day.
now, you're wearing both of the clothes they put out and now in hamzah's car but instead of martin being in the passenger seat, you occupied it and he was sat at the back.
"okay so where are we going now?" you look between hamzah and martin, going a bit closer so you could include martin.
"that's a secret just film this," hamzah tells you, eyes focused on the road and suddenly he feels the camera on him.
you were smiling as you held your camera towards him, he glances and he starts to feel his breath hitch. "is he always this serious?" you joked which earned a laugh from martin and a scoff from hamzah.
you guys ended up going to a drive thru and buying almost half of the menu then going back to martin's apartment.
the next clip showed the three of you, sitting down on the floor with all the food set up on the table. hamzah was right beside you, watching you pet and play with the pets in the house. "it's starting already," martin whispered then you looked up.
the rest of the afternoon, the three of you ate the food and shared with each other as you talked about any topic you could talk about.
most of the time it was only you and martin speaking as hamzah kept on zoning out due to the fact you were sat next to him and he could smell the cologne you were wearing.
"what about you hamzah?" was the only thing that got him to snap out of it. he looked up at you, head a bit tilted in confusion. "what's a place you wanna visit?" you asked before taking some of his fries.
there were more questions and you three got to know each other more.
after the mukbang, they taught you how to play overcooked but only some clips were added to the video.
one of them being hamzah helping you play the game as his hands were on top of yours, directing your hands on what buttons to press. you felt your cheeks heat up during the game and martin was too focused on the game to realize what was happening.
after you guys bid goodbye to the end the video, you hugged them before leaving. "wait! i still have to change." you suddenly remembered, quickly taking off the vest.
as you were about to pull off the camouflage sweater, hamzah stops you. "you can keep the sweater but the vest i don't think martin would allow you to keep it," you both chuckle, handing him the vest.
he was about to speak again until your uber arrived in front of the building.
you hug the boy one last time with a smile on your face. "i'll see you soon!" you said before you entered the car.
"get home safe, okay?"
✶ taglist — @cdbabymp3 @noturbabe22 @dabuggh3 @kingvioleta @tumb1rgir1z LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD!!!
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skitskatdacat63 · 10 months
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I feel like at least several times a month, I have a random insane revitalization of my love for The Smiths. Not that I ever stop loving them, but I'll listen to some song and then suddenly fall into this pit of just deep, intense love for their music again where I can't stop listening to their music on repeat and watching live performances and looking at pics like AAAAAHHHHHH WHY IS THEIR MUSIC SO GOOOD?????? WHY IS IT PERFECT?????? WHY WERE THEY SO GENDER???????
(songs I am feeling intense brainrot over rn in case you're curious: "I Want The One I Can't Have(live)", "Stretch Out and Wait(live)", "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby", "Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others(demo)", "What She Said", "The Boy With The Thorn in His Side(live)"(p.s. I Want The One I Can't Have is Martian-coded to me, pls listen)(also it reminds me of that movie I watched yesterday)
#i want the one i cant have is playing on repeat in my brain rn and i watched a live performance and i was tearing up. why am i like this#the live versions of their songs are just incredibly good like at an insane level to me#i know the guitar is very complicated bcs my brother is equally obsessed w the smiths and rants to me abt how hard their music is to play#so the fact that their live performances are equal if not better than their studio versions is crazy#and i love the way he sings in live versions AAAAHHHH like just so over the top and dramatic#i absolutely love singing along to music and their songs are perfect bcs i can be as dramatic and loud as i want#and that hes singing perfectly and dramatizing it so much also while dancing along to it on stage??????#their music has an energy to it in every single aspect that no other band will ever be able to reach for me#i spent so much of today just dancing along to their music and singing over the top. i just felt so joyful 🥹🥹🥹🥹#GAAAHHHH sorry i just am really in it rn hahaha#its just crazy to me ig that ive listened to these songs so many times and they still fill me with such emotion#my mom sings and dance along w me tho shes like 'wow youre so energetic today did you hit your head or smth' 😭😭😭#also was losing my mind looking at their pictures today and gahhhhhhhhb such gender envy their gender is unmatched to me#but its so funny every time i get gender envy over smiths era morrissey +#because theres some pics of my dad from that same period of time when he was younger where he literally looks exactly like morrissey#SIR WHY DID I NOT INHERIT YOUR LEVEL OF GENDER???????(my dad was a icon sjdkkd we look alike tbh)#anyways: i feel very joyful and energetic about their music. they just make me so happy and i want to dance around again 🥹#i think this recent lapse into the pit was bcs i listened to the demos/live versions on The Queen is Dead deluxe edition#and im like ....how the fuck are they this fucking good??????#hehehe tho my passion has affected others 🤭#my brother is learning some songs on guitar atm and waxes poetic abt their instrumentals#my dad always listens to their entire discography when he needs background music. and my mom sings and dances w me#sorry this is unhinged i just feel a lot of serotonin bcs their music and i need to infect other people LMAO#maybe i need to make another web weave#catie.rambling.txt
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writingstoraes · 1 year
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daughter blues 🌨
pairing: charles leclerc/fem!reader
type: instagram imagine/social media au
notes: not proofread hehe lmk what u guys think! first time doing a dad!charles content 🫣
about: you and charles have a bit of a hard time sending off your daughter to preschool.
ynleclerc
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liked by carlossainz55, lorenzotl, lilymhe, and 604,334 others
ynleclerc today is julia's first day of pre-school! we had a hard time deciding whether she wanted braids or not 😴 here she is checking what i was baking for her because she's bringing some to school.
you grow up so fast, my baby. mommy's a little sad sending you off to school, but we know you'll do such a good job there!
lilymhe Beautiful girl ❤️ Tell her her favorite aunt misses her!
ynleclerc will do! come visit soon please 😘
carlossainz55 Uh oh how's the dad doing 🫣
yourusername worse than me, he wants to stay outside of jul's room the entire time she's there
charles16 Julia daddy's girl indeed ❤️
charles_leclerc
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen, pascale_leclerc, and 1,220,579 others
charles_leclerc Pre school is a bit uncool for taking you away from me so fast. Can't believe you're off to school now, it's as if it was just yesterday when I held you for the first time. I wanted to wait till your classes ended but your mommy said no and she also said no when you wanted to wear a ferrari shirt today 🤕
ynleclerc i am not going let my only daughter wear a ferrari shirt on her first day of pre-school, charles 🤦‍♀️
charles_leclerc How else will she know her dad is an F1 driver and will race any boy that has a crush on her?
ynleclerc you told her to tell people her dad is a racer when she introduces herself
leclercfamz Y/N and Charles giving us a glimpse of what goes on at their home is so funny 😭
pierregasly I hope you weren't the one who prepared her snacks or she's going to have a bad day
charles_leclerc You don't even know how to fry eggs
pascale_leclerc Julia my favorite girl ❤️
scuderiaferrari We wish Julia an amazing first day of pre-school! 📚
ynleclerc
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liked by lilymhe, pascale_leclerc, isahernaez, and 750,234 others
ynleclerc first day of not being with our favorite little girl, but also first day of being home alone with charles since we became parents 😴
alex_albon23 Home alone with Charles? 😏
ynleclerc yeahhhh we drank wine and will be cleaning the entire house, how fun 😏
waglyfe ALEX LMAOKKOOJJQJQ
pierregasly Yeah! Go get it, parents!
charles_leclerc You are so weird mate
yukitsunoda0511 I remember when I used to be your favorite son 😥
ynleclerc im so sorry son, its your dad's fault - hes always wanted a girl
charles_leclerc just posted a story!
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trans: My two treasures.
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tagging: @slytherheign 🩶
notes: dad!charles just makes me cry 🤕 tysm for reading! lmk what u guys think hehehe
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whyse7vn · 5 months
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BREAK -
[ot7 x reader]
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PEACE AND LOVE 😁💗
8 participants - 8 online
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jk: guys i’m lost ☹️
jimin: like emotionally??
tae: or sexually?
jk: woah um
idk anymore
jin: probably psychologically
yoongi: what’s new?
namjoon: jungkook you are in your kitchen
y/n: can confirm he is in the kitchen.
yoongi: loser
jin: what’s with the punctuation lmao
jk: woah i am in our kitchen
how did i get here
good morning guys ^0^
jin: it’s 7pm?
y/n: he’s hungover.
jk: yeah T-T
jimin: not surprised drank jin’s body weight in alcohol yesterday
jk: there was a lot going on :((
yoongi: so you result to alcoholism?
namjoon: it’s better than resulting to violence!!!
y/n: hoseok can’t relate.
hobi: i said i’m sorry 😓
jin: jimin i’ve thought about it and i really think you’re projecting when it comes to this weight thing
jimin: project a vegetable
jin: project a cure for the body issues you CEARLY have
namjoon: guys
jk: ants playing ddr in my head rn
i’m so upset
also how do i take about a loan?
i want a loan
namjoon: jungkook you do not need a loan
jk: ok
i’m sorry
namjoon: jungkook you better not be crying right now
jk: i’m not crying
y/n: he is crying
but that is not important rn.
can we talk about yesterday because what the fuck?
tae: YESSS i’ve been waiting for this
whoever wants the video of hobi punching the shit out of jaehyun you have to me pay at least 4k
namjoon: what is wrong with you
tae: if you want it with sound i have to charge extra
tae changed the gc name to “HOBI GOT HANDS”
y/n: not funny.
namjoon: taehyung please
jin: can’t believe hobi fr punched him
yoongi: i can
hobi: y/n you still mad??
jin: she’s using punctuation
she’s furious ☠️
jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼
who tf says that
jin: OHMYGOD GET OF MY DICK FOR ONE SECOND I’M BEGGING
jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼
tae: is she fast too lmao
y/n: shut the fuck up taehyung
tae: okay!
y/n: my boyfriend is fine btw
if any of you actually care
yoongi: don’t
hobi: i’m sorry
y/n: you laughed after you made him bleed
yoongi: didn’t you laugh too lol??
y/n: OKAY I DID A LITTLE
but that’s before i realised hoseok hit him for real
jin: you can hit someone for fake?
tae: you can watch her smile fall after the second punch in the video it’s really funny actually!!!!!!!
y/n: didnt i tell you to shut the fuck up?
tae: you did
i’m sorry
shutting up
like rn ong 🙏🏼
🤐
jin: ?
jimin: it means on god
jin: stop talking to me
jimin: sorry just making sure you got it
slang sure has changed since 1781!!!
jin: 1781????????
jk: omg that’s that one hamilton song
hobi: there is no hamilton song called 1781
jimin: are we talking about the 1975
tae: the what
hobi: aren’t they white?
tae: they????
jimin: HAMILTONS WHITE????
yoongi: the real one is
jimin: there’s a fake hamilton??
tae: hamilton a they/them?
namjoon: you can’t say that
y/n: why are we talking about hamilton?
tae: why can’t i say that?
am i pissing off the feminists? ☠️☠️☠️
namjoon: this has nothing to do with feminism
jin: i’m a feminist
tae: did my they/them hamilton question offend you??
jin: tf does that even mean
jimin: born in 1066 doesn’t even know what pronouns are
jin: fuck you and ur proverbs
y/n: he literally said pronouns
tae: i’m a prosexhaver
yoongi: you have stds
hobi: personally i would like to shoot taehyung
jk: sex haver????
jin: virgin
y/n: he makes me sick
jimin: oh i HATE him
namjoon: deep breaths
tae: ???
wtf
why did you all just turn on me like that?
guys are you jealous of my sex having abilities?
everyone be honest now
y/n: you clearly don’t know what shutting the fuck up includes
tae: ok i’m sorry
never speaking again starting in like
an hour
i promise
y/n: how about now
tae: 30 mins?
y/n: kys
tae: stop flirting omg 🤭
yoongi: idiot
jk: WAIT OMG?
HOBI FR PUNCHED JAEHYUN??/! ö
jin: you were literally there??
jk: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A DREAM
OHMYGOD
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
HEHEHE
OMG HOBI THATS CRAZY
UR CRAZY
hobi: i’m not crazy
jimin: like crazy
y/n: you think it’s funny??
jk: NO
no
absolutely not wtf
????????
hoseok why would you do that?
that’s so messed up
shame on you really
shame on you
jimin: ur pathetic actually
namjoon: anyways hobi it was wrong of you to result to violence just because you were jealous
please apologise
y/n please accept his apology you know hobi wouldn’t never want to upset you on purpose he loves and cares for you deeply
kiss and make up guys
you don’t want to fuck up our group dynamic do you???
no?
didn’t think so!!
wow would you look at that we are all friends again
smooth like butter 🧈 💛
dynamite 🧨
borahae in this bangtan shit for life 💜💜
y/n: kys
jk: KISS???????????
jin: hobi was jealous?
hobi: NO?????????
yoongi: interesting
jimin: yeah that’s crazy
hobi: I WASN’T I SWEAR
namjoon: you weren’t???
oh
my fault
hobi: yeah your fault
maybe ur just projecting lol
jimin: yeah calling bullshit
if you didn’t punch him out of jealously
what did you punch him for???
tae: it’s cuz he was like feeling her up right in front of our faces right??
have he no respect?
jk: respect no he have?
tae: stop
jk: sorry
tae: actually nvm you were agreeing with me
agree some more
jk: i agree some more
tae: see?
jk: see??
tae: what a nasty pervert freak of a man
namjoon: look in a mirror
jimin: that’s crazy because i wasn’t talking you
tae: right joon shut the hell up
jk: zip it
jimin: you as in YOU taehyung and jungkook
i was talking to hobi not you guys
jk: oh
tae: we talk for hobi
hobi: no you don’t
tae: we ARE hobi
jk: i’m not hobi
or am i?????
ohmgod am i???
yoongi: ur all so annoying
y/n: ok hoseok wasn’t jealous are you stupid??
why would he be jealous?????
hobi: right!
i was drunk
jin: i swear you didn’t drink last night??
hobi: ur not helping?
jimin: i’m telling you it’s bullshit
tae: ok now let’s talk about how that was coolest thing hobi’s ever done in his life should of tagged me in fr fr
i would of gone crazy no joke 💯💯
we would of got him so bad hobi
#dreamteam 😍
namjoon: taehyung
tae: what?
i’m just saying
y/n: say one more thing
tae: i’m sorry
sorry
SORRY 😢
jimin: so the plot thickens!!
hobi: there is not plot
there is no jealousy
jin: ok why did you punch him then
hobi: i was drunk i said that already
jin: you DIDN’T drink
guys why is he lying to us
do you not trust us???
come on step into my office hoseok
open up to daddy jin
y/n: ew???
jin: ew?
y/n: that’s what i said
jin: but in spainnnnnn
y/n: stop
jin: 🫰🏻
yoongi: hobi do you want to fuck y/n?
hobi: what
yoongi: answer the question
y/n: yoongi wtf???
namjoon: yoongi please
jk: DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER
hobi: i’m not answering that wtf
jimin: i think we all know his answer anyways
yoongi: yeah
but i want him to say it
tae: waitttt kinky
say it hoseok 😋😋😋
namjoon: can we not rn…
jimin: tae you definitely need to add him to ur stupid little group chat
tae: ummmm
it’s not stupid it’s real actually
jk: real men only!!!
tae: hobi are you a real man?
hobi: what
tae: are you real??
hobi: yeah
jk: say it
hobi: say what?
tae: i’m real
hobi: i’m real?
tae: REAL UGLY
HAHAHA
jk: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
hobi: u guys are so unfunny it hurts
tae: got you lolz
namjoon: taehyung stop talking
tae: forgive me? 🥺
hobi tried to come for what we stand for
hobi: i literally didn’t???
it was jimin
jin: hey wait what group chat??
let me in what the hell
yoongi: no
jin: ur in the gc too??
yoongi: am i?
jk: he is
tae me joon and yoongi 💓
namjoon: can you stfu.
jin: EVEN JOON??????
let me in or ur all going to hell
y/n: yeah me too wtf??
tae: jin
between me and you
your invite may arrive soon
i’ve seen your eyes wondering as of late
jin: ????
what
yeah ok nvm!
i think i’ll live not being in ur gc
and if this is about what i think it’s about
count me out
jk: aw man :/
tae: wow so many haters in this life
you’ll regret this
you’ll be begging on ur knees to join real soon
y/n: WHAT ABOUT ME HELLO????
jk: hiiiiiii ^_^
y/n: ykw nvm idc
yoongi: you do
y/n: not
yoongi: yeah ok :3
namjoon: there is no group chat
jk: ??? yes there is don’t be silly joon 😂😂
namjoon: OHMYGOD LEARN HOW TO TAKE A FUCKING HINT
can we move on
wtf why am i asking you guys
i’m the leader
we are moving on.
y/n: THIS IS SEGREGATION
jk: ohmygod is this a race thing???
namjoon not again
jimin: LMFAOOOSJDJJK
y/n: i mean i was talking about gender
but this could be a race thing
is this a race thing????
jk: OHMYGOD NAMJOON UR A SEXIST TOO????
i thought that was just jimin
jin: no ur right
jk: oh ok!
jimin: can you stop
i’m NOT a sexist ok
but hobi DID punch jaehyun
hobi: wtf is ur problem
jimin: sorry i needed to put everyone back on track xx
hobi: there is no track
jimin: no there is a track and i put everyone back on it
jk: train track
yoongi: lay on one?
tae: LAYOVER YES
i know that album
it’s really good
indigo flopped
namjoon: shut up shut up shut up shut up
tae: so like gf wyd rn? *kicks feet giggles*
yoongi kicked tae out of “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”
yoongi: not sorry
jk: it’s ok i forgive you
yoongi: shut up
jk: ok
y/n: he told me we should go on a break…
jk: i had a break on my bike once
then it broke
so i had a breakless bike
and i couldn’t brake
so to stop i would just pedal into walls
my bike to this day has no breaks it makes me sad
namjoon: jungkook please just get a new bike
and y/n i’m sorry to hear about your break
jk: ok >.<
y/n: thanks ig
namjoon: wait
??????
break
ur on break
with jaehyun?
y/n: no i’m on a break with fucking usher
jin: A BREAK?????????????
jimin: WOAH WAIT HOLD ON
yoongi: is he fucking stupid???
jk: USHER???
hobi: no jungkook she’s talking about jaehyun
jk: oh
hobi: jaehyun
nct jaehyun your friend jaehyun.
jk: OHMYGOD WAIT WHAT WHATWHENDHDHDJDJD WHAT OHMYGOF OHMSYSH DKEJEJDJG SISHDJXMISSHENDODJDIDUSJEJFJDKDKFNDBDNDMDNDFNFNFNFMMF
jk added tae to “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”
jk: LOOK
tae: hey guys u missed me 😁?
jk: LOOK
tae: looking
jk: LOOKSKKSKSKDKDKDDKK
tae: holy shit
y/n are you ok??
jimin: THIS IS INSANE
y/n: yeah fuck him and fuck his break
yoongi: i’ll break his neck
jin: jungkook get ur friend
jk: JSNDNDNNDJJDJDFJNDJDJDJDJD ahshshxhdnxndnxnd JAJSHDBSBDBXBXNXNXJXJXJZHHXHXBSHSHSHXHZJZJXJXJXJJXJXJJDD SHSNDNDNDNDNXNDJJDXJXJXJX DHXJDJDNDNDNXXNZN
tae: woah
hobi: but are you like actually ok???
y/n: never been better
namjoon: no fr it’s ok if you’re upset
y/n: i’m not upset
jimin: wow
so like
wow
idk how to comfort people namjoon say something
namjoon: there there?
jin: chin up!!!!!
jk: I AM ALSO SINGLE THIS IS SUCH A COINCIDENCE LIKE WE ARE BOTH SINGLE AT THE SAME TIME WOW LIKE YEAH UR ON A HREAK BUT UR BASICALLY SINGLE THATS REALLY CRAZY LIKE HAHA LOL WE ARE SINGLE LOOK AT US TWO SINGLE PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO LIVE TOGETHER MAYBE WE SHOULD IDK LIKE HEHEH JSJSJJSJDJ
yoongi: when are we jumping him??
i can leave now
y/n: shut up
yoongi: you coming over?
y/n: no?
yoongi: boo
y/n: i’m going to hobi’s
hobi: you are??
jimin: to fight or fuck??
y/n: shut up
jin: that’s crazy
hobi broke up a happy home
hobi: i’m genuinely so sorry
i didn’t mean to
y/n: wasn’t even ur fault don’t apologise
he was a acting weird for a while
wanted to live in denial but it’s whatever idc!!!!!!!
tae: you clearly do care and that’s ok
y/n: i DON’T
tae: y/n
y/n: taehyung
jimin: ew like why is taehyung being all serious i hate it
tae: cuz this is serious
y/n: it’s not
tae: it’s ok to be upset
y/n: i know and i’m NOT
tae: y/n
y/n: i’m not upset omg????
stop being weird i’m like so ok it’s crazy
jimin: like crazy lolz
jin: that is the second time you’ve made that joke and it was just as unfunny as it was the first time you said it
jimin: why are you keeping tabs on me and what i say get a LIFE
jin: you make me want to kms
jimin: do it
jin: namjoon get him before i get violent
namjoon: guys can you see we have bigger issues going on rn
be serious for once
y/n: i’m fine
there is no serious issue
i’m ok
no tears
no noting
i’m fine ok? ok
tae: y/n
y/n: tae stop
ykw ur pissing me off
ur all pissing me off
y/n left “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”
hobi: oh wow
jin: i didn’t even do anything fr
jimin: i blame tae
yoongi: jaehyun is a bitch
jk: do you think she’ll let me kiss her now?
namjoon: jungkook shut up
tae do NOT message her
and yoongi do not even THINK about leaving your house rn
i think we need to have a group meeting or something
sorry this sucks i just needed a reason to get rid of jaehyun so we could move forward LMAO i’m sorry better things coming soon 😁🙏🏽
tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin
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anjuyn · 1 month
Text
Sometimes there is a "Rei second year phase" in my life, so I am here again with random headcanons on this topic.
> The most important and most canonical thing is that he will not call you by your first name. In his speech, you will be designated by some strange (but surprisingly suitable for you) nickname. But when you get closer, he will start calling you by name. It seems this guy has some kind of problem with other people's names, hmm? :)
> You would never have seen Rei reading in all the time you've known him. however, sometimes when he looked over your shoulder to see what you were reading, he would say something like, "eh, the ending here isn't very good, in my opinion."
> And when you ask him if he's read it, he waves it off with mock annoyance. and even more often, he would say something like, "I can't read, buddy. Don't ask difficult questions" and, laughing, changed the subject of the conversation.
> But in the end, he seems to have read everything that ever came into your hands and even more. but he will never admit it.
> He also gets a strange expression on his face when you or someone else compliments his intelligence. although this strange expression is quickly replaced by his usual self-confidence.
> Sometimes he brings some interesting things from his trips, always guessing according to your wishes. But the process of giving these things is always extremely funny: most often he said something like "feel it WHAT A GREAT HONOR ORESAMA HAS GIVEN YOU, YOU ARE FLATTERED, DON'T YOU, HEHEHE." Anyway, he likes to give souvenirs from his trips as a gift and did not change this feature of his even in the future.
> You have been given great permission to stick stickers on his guitar case. Even if you stick a pink unicorn on it, HE WILL WEAR IT WITH HONOR.
> he is EXTREMELY HAPPY when you worry and take care of him. He's not sure what words to respond with, but he's definitely grateful.
> sometimes he gets unusually talkative. at these moments, you can hear all sorts of interesting things from him, depending on his mood: sometimes it's stories from trips, something about Ritsu, his opinion about anything, or just some kind of dreary reasoning about the present or the future. His point of view is always very interesting, conversations with Rei are always a sincere pleasure. Even despite his rude manner of speech, he is very respectful of a different point of view. Let's say he's a very open-minded person. However, he is easily scared off and these moments of sincerity end as suddenly as they begin.
> he behaves like an older brother or parent much more often than it might seem. it can be assumed that this is some kind of old habit.
> if you ask him to give him some guitar lessons, he will teach you if he is free. and he's a really great mentor.
> it's may not always be visible, but he is genuinely happy to spend time with you, no matter what useless things you do. and after a while he will remember every meeting you have, because for him the time spent with loved ones is really valuable.
> in general, the second year Rei, it's still the same Rei, but trying to behave differently from his real self. it sometimes looks cool, and sometimes it's very silly, but it's just impossible not to find him cute <3
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