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#because I worked fucking HARD to like what I have and who I am
monzabee · 6 hours
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mr. big (social media au) - cs55
masterlist ||
Summary: The one where there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, your boyfriend, Carlos.
Pairing: carlos sainz x romance writer!reader (model used: random people i found on pinterest)
Warnings: none other than some cursing? carlos being an old money dream as always
Request: "For a smau, would love to see romance writer!reader with Carlos (he is just Disney prince vibes) where fans aren’t quite sure how they got together but the influence him on her work is greatly appreciated" by my lovely @percervall
Author note: OKAY JUST REALISED I AM A CARRIE AND BIG APOLOGIST, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT (i might be freaking out about them, but i will always be a charlotte girl)!!! (might honestly turn it into a series because who doesn't love a satc x old money crossover???)
Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms.
yourusername
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Liked by carlossainz55, yourbestfriend, readersdigest and 438,927 others.
yourusername: busy, busy, busy bee.
user: thank you mother for feeding us with another hot billionaire novel
yourusername: you are more than welcome
user: how is she not only one of the best romance authors, but also a fashion icon??
user: can't wait to read what carlos inspired this time!!
carlossainz55: you are not wearing you glasses again, cariño
yourusername: why don't you come put them on yourself??
user: oh, they are so cute it's sickening
user: GIVE US THE MANUSCRIPT AND END OUR SUFFERING
view all 2,387 comments.
user: how did they get together again??
user: i think he ran into her at one of her book signings in madrid?
user: i thought it was when she went to the paddock for some good old r&d?
user: i heard somewhere that a friend set them up
yourusername posted a new story!
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carlossainz55 posted a story!
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yourusername
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Liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, goodreads and 682,928 others.
yourusername: life lately & "between love and loathing" out june 23rd.
user: we love the romantic getaway, and a new book!!
user: we're being fed in more ways than one, and i am not complaining at all!!
user: oh shit, we're about to read the best romance novel of all time
view all 13,726 comments.
carlossainz55: i'm so proud of you, you have no idea
yourusername: way to make me cry
yourusername: i love you though
carlossainz55: te quiero más
user: I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY ARE THE OLD MONEY COUPLE WE NEEDED ALL ALONG AND WE DON'T KNOW HOW THEY STARTED DATING
user: it will remain forever a mystery
user: but at least we have content to keep us going through these hard times
carlossainz55
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Liked by yourusername, scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc and 977,520 others.
carlossainz55: one of us made the pancakes, and one of us stood there looking pretty.
yourusername: hey, it was your turn to make breakfast
carlossainz55: and i loved every second of it
yourusername: even doing the dishes?
carlossainz55: especially doing the dishes
user: this is by far the most romance book thing this man has done
user: i still don't understand how they started dating, but good for them i guess
view all 35,726 comments.
landonorris: hey, i didn't get any pancakes, did you? @charles_leclerc
charles_leclerc: didn't even know we were having pancakes, where are our pancakes @carlossainz55
landonorris: and cooking in a towel?? how is that sanitary??
charles_leclerc: he's breaking at least a dozen health codes
carlossainz55: i hate you both
yourusername: you are all a pr nightmare
scuderiaferrari: i agree
user: damn he got lucky
yourusername
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Liked by f1wagss, carlossainz55, sarahjessicaparker and 736,928 others.
yourusername: and there he was, wearing armani on a sunday, carlos sainz.
user: SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!
user: what kind of an iconic cunt slay is this
user: and just like that... they became the coolest couple on the internet
user: NEW NOVEL IDEA, SEX AND THE CITY RETELL WITH CARLOS
user: girl wtf
yourusername: no let her cook
yourusername: you might be onto something here
user: don't know if i want to be her or be carlos
view all 44,736 comments.
user: everybody say thank you mom for blessing us
carlossainz55: amor
yourusername: amor x2
user: oh she's working overtime god bless you
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212 notes · View notes
shinskichan · 2 days
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synopsis: reader is playing the “what if” challenge with them, in which one person suggests a hypothetical scenario and the other responds with another what if.
characters: Mikey, Sanzu, Kakucho, Koko, Ran, and Rindou
notes: fluff, crack, mention of death, profanities, mention of exes, mention of killing, suggestive what-ifs, petnames (babe, love, doll, baby)
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It was finally Mikey's day off, and you had been convincing him to do this challenge since last week. He had been hesitant, saying it was nonsense, but you didn't give up until he finally agreed.
MIKEY
"I don't see the benefit of this," he said, leaning on the couch. You teased him, saying, "I just want to fight right after this," to which he side-eyed you, and you both laughed. "Try me," he said, looking you straight in the eye. "Your wish is my command," you said as you chuckled, but he rolled his eyes.
"You know this is so lame, how about we just… make love?" he whispered, and you playfully hit his arm as he chuckled. "Mikey!" you warned him, and he put his hands up, saying he was kidding. You held his hand, which interlocked with yours, as you cleared your throat.
He asked, "Who goes first?" looking at you. "I'll go first," you said, and he nodded as you chuckled.
"What if I am just pretending that I love you because I'm scared of you?" you said, looking at him. You saw how his jaw clenched as he tilted his head, but you just laughed. You could tell he was thinking hard about his response.
"What if every time I tell you I'm working, I'm really having fun with another girl?" he shot back, and your eyes widened in surprise. You admitted that it was a good one, and he just chuckled.
"What if all this time I'm just waiting for you to let go?" you said as you looked at him, and he nodded his head. "What if I just settled with you because I don't have a choice?" he said, and you laughed, saying, "What are you talking about? You've got a lot of choices!" You playfully hit him.
"What if I am secretly meeting with your executives right after visiting you?" you shot back, laughing when his face grew gloomy.
"What if I shot him so that you couldn't do that?" he said, seeming nonchalant about it, which made you laugh as you gently pushed his face. "What if every time I say 'I love you,' it's not you whom I am thinking of?" you teased, looking at him, and he nodded.
"What if I punish you after this? How do you like that?" he asked, grinning, and you said, "What if I don't want to?" You both laughed."Who thought about this stupid challenge? It was you," he said, pinching your nose.
"Be honest, was it half meant?" he asked you, which made you laugh. "What makes you say that?" you asked. "What if you're really pretending that you love me? What if you're just really waiting for me to let you go?" he asked as he threw himself at you, and you quickly hugged him.
"I'm going to kill myself, for real," he said, which made you hit him. "I love you for real, dumbass," you said, and he looked up to you, and you kissed him.
 
SANZU
"You don't have a choice," you said with a grin as you pulled him out of bed. He groaned about wanting to rest, but you persisted. "Come on, let's do this. I promise I'll treat you after," you added coaxingly, and he finally relented and sat down.
"Don't take this seriously! This is just a what-if," you warned him, but you couldn't stop laughing. "Then let's just not do this," he said, but you glared at him, so he just sighed.
"You go first," you said, pointing at him. "This is really stupid," he said as he sighed, but you just laughed. "Go ahead," you said, and it took a while before he thought of something.
"What if whenever I tell you I can't come home, I'm really at another girl's house?" he said, which caught you off guard, and you reluctantly hit his arms, but he just laughed. "What the fuck, Sanzu?" you said as you chuckled.
"Come on, this is what you want, right? It's your turn," he said as he chuckled."What if I am just really forced to love you?" you asked while laughing. "Really? With this face and good body, you'll be forced?" he asked, leaning close to you. You gently pushed his face away while laughing and said, "Stop saying anything, babe. Go on," still laughing.
"What if I am actually making out with your friend?" he said as he laughed out loud. You glared at him, but he just laughed like he had won the challenge.
"What if I still love my ex?" you said with confidence, which made his smile fade away, and you laughed.
"What if I shot his skull right here right now?" he said seriously, and you broke out laughing as you hit him with a pillow.
"Calm down, this is just a 'what if'," you said, still laughing, but he wrapped his arms around your waist and carried you on top of him. "Stop with this bullshit already. It's not funny," he said, and you laughed as you kissed his neck.
 
KAKUCHO
As you both sat at the restaurant, enjoying your meal, you suddenly came up with an idea. "Baby, let's play the 'what if' challenge. Do you know that?" you asked him. He looked surprised, but he nodded. "As in right now?" he asked, still unsure. "Yes, right now," you confirmed with a smile.
"I don't want to," he said as he wiped the edge of your lips with his thumb. You pouted, but he continued, "Come on, you're just looking for a fight." You chuckled. "You think I'm making this an excuse for an argument later on?" you asked, and he nodded.
“You shouldn't get annoyed," you added. "No, you should tell that to yourself," he retorted, making you hit his arm playfully.
But you weren't going to give up that easily. "Come on, I'll go first," you said, and he had no choice but to agree.
"What if I went to the bar last night and hooked up with someone?" you asked, trying not to laugh as you watched his serious expression. "I know you wouldn't do that," he replied, making you elbow his arm.
"Your turn," you prompted. "I can't think of anything," he said with a shrug, and he continued to eat. "Don't be so corny," you teased, glaring at him. "What if I'm getting tired of you?" he said out of nowhere, and you nodded. "Then get some rest," you replied, and you both laughed.
"What if before we even dated, I just planned on making you fall for me and my true purpose was to cause you pain?" you said, trying to stir things up. He just nodded, unfazed. "It's fine then," he said, making you laugh and hit his arm. "What do you mean?" you asked, still laughing. "You're always fighting with me, even when I didn't do anything," he explained. "And I chose to love you, even with the risk of getting hurt," he added seriously. Why are you so serious, bro?" you said, and he glared at you, which made you chuckle.
"What if every time you're not coming home, I'm bringing someone into our house?" he said, trying to make you jealous. You gave him a death glare, and he quickly laughed. "What if I just agreed to date you out of fun? I don't really love you," you said, trying to see his reaction. He just smiled and sipped his drink. "That's good, we have fun together," he said, making you both laugh.
"What if I actually hooked up with the girl you're jealous of?" he said, trying to push your buttons further. You slowly looked at him with piercing eyes, and he quickly said, "Look at your face; I told you I don't want to do this," while laughing. "Fuck you!" you said, playfully pinching his arm.
"What if we just break up?" you said suddenly, trying to end the game. He quickly gave you a hug while still laughing hard. "No way, I can't live without you," he said, making you smile and hug him back.
 
KOKONOI
"Are you down?" you asked him as you gently took out all the food from the paper bag after your drive-thru. He nodded quickly. "I am down. Do you want me to go first?" he said confidently, and you both laughed. "Go ahead, I'm giving you the right," you said, and he started to think.
He began, "What if I regret that I met you?" and smiled as he looked at you. You hit him with the paper bag and jokingly said, "I know that fucker."
"Look at you, it's just starting, and you're already annoyed. You're the one who suggested it," he said as he took a sip of his soda.
"What if I'm secretly dating one of your friends?" you said, and he chuckled. "Who?" he asked, which made you both laugh. "Stop asking. It's just a what-if," you said as you smiled, enjoying his reaction.
He cleared his throat and thought for a moment. "What if I just loved you out of pity?" he said teasingly as he looked at you, and you smiled downward. "What's with that look?" he asked, putting his hand on your thigh as he laughed. "Really?" you sadly asked, which made you both laugh.
"What if my ex is asking me for a comeback, and I'm really having thoughts about it?" you said, which made him stunned and unable to even take a bite of his burger, which made you chuckle. "I knew it," he said, and you broke out laughing. "What do you mean you knew it?" you asked as you hit his arm, unable to prevent yourself from laughing.
"What if I just decided to court you because of a bet with my friends?" he said, and you glared at him. "I don't want this anymore," you said, which made him laugh as he scooped his ice cream. "What if I'm just staying with you because of your money?" you said, to which he replied with a shrug. You pinched his arm, making him groan.
"What if I got another girl pregnant?" he said, and your eyes widened in shock at what he just said, and he silently enjoyed your reaction. "Try me, Hajime," you said, and he laughed, but later on, he pulled your wrist and gave you a kiss. "Not gonna happen," he said, and you rolled your eyes.
"What if I wanted to marry you right now?" he said, and you looked at him, trying to prevent yourself from blushing. "What if I don't want you to be my husband?!" you shouted, which made him laugh even more. "I love you, dumbass," he said, kissing your hand.
 
RAN
You and Ran were both sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phones in silence, when he suddenly spoke up. "Let's play the 'what if' challenge," he suggested. You pretended not to hear him, so he playfully slapped your legs. "Come on, it'll be fun," he urged. However, you were still upset with him from a previous argument and didn't feel like playing. "I don't want to," you replied, giving him a stern look. "You still have some issues to work out with me!" you added, feeling frustrated that he hadn't made up with you after the argument. He laughed and teased you, saying, "You're still mad at me, huh?” 
"Come on, you go first," but you shook your head and insisted, "No, you thought of it, so you go first," rolling your eyes. He smirked and commented, "You look so hot when you do that." You glared at him, but he just chuckled.
He started the game by asking, "What if... what if I'm in this position because I'm flirting with someone?" he asked, his eyes still on his phone. You looked at him seriously and gently kicked his abdomen, which made him laugh. "Really, Ran? Flirting with someone right in front of my face?" you asked, trying to reach for his phone, but he hid it. You were still annoyed with him for not making up after the argument, and here he is still annoying you further. "I'm just kidding, doll," he said, stealing a kiss from your lips. You wiped it off quickly, feeling irritated, and he giggled.
"What if I'm just toying with you? What if you're just a past time?" he continued. You smiled, annoyed all over your face, which made him laugh even more. "What if the reason I went out last night was because I'm meeting someone and it's more than just a meeting?" you shot back. He nodded his head, amused by what you said, and you both laughed. "What now, huh?" you teased him, and he chuckled.
"What if I'm just using you to get over my ex?" he said, teasingly looking at you. You were clearly angry and threw every pillow within reach at him, but he just laughed, enjoying your reaction. "You fucker!" you exclaimed, clearly annoyed. "My blood is really boiling for you. What if I choke you to death?" you threatened, jumping on him. He was out of breath from laughing too hard. "Stop it, doll," he said, stopping your hands from gently choking him as he caught his breath.
"What if all this time you're just a third party, and my ex is the one I am with?" he asked. You pulled his hair out of anger, but he just laughed as if it was nothing. "What if I bury you alive?"
"What if you woke up tomorrow and you were already inside a coffin?" you shouted, and he burst out laughing on the floor, clearly happy with your reactions.
 
RINDOU
"Babe, let's do the 'what if' challenge," you said to Rindou, who was almost finished washing the dishes. He quickly shook his head. "Come onnnn, it looks fun," you said as you giggled. "I don't want to," he said as he dried his hands.
"Why not? Come on," you said, trying to convince him. "I don't want to fight after, love. I know you," he said, looking at you seriously, and you laughed. "Promise, I won't," you said as you raised your right hand open, making a promise, but he walked out.
"Come on, Rindou! Or else!" you threatened, which made him turn to look at you. "See?" he sarcastically said, which made you laugh. "Come on, let's do it," you said as you dragged him into the room. "We are not allowed to get hurt," you said, and he ran his palm across his face. "Let's just not do it, it's not a good idea," he said, but in the end, you still won.
"Game," you said, and he sighed. "Ladies first," he said as he held your hand and started playing with it. "What if I don't really love you and I just see you as my best friend?" you said while smiling, and he slowly nodded, pretending it didn't hurt him.
"What if I'm actually in a relationship with your best friend?" you gasped, and he laughed as he held your hands tightly. "You're not allowed to get hurt," he reminded you, and you rolled your eyes. "I am not," you defended as you thought of another one.
"What if I still haven't moved on from my ex and you are just a rebound?" you rebutted with confidence, which made him put his fist on his mouth while smiling, clearly annoyed.
"What if every time I asked for permission to go DJing, that's not really what I am doing, and I'm just flirting with other girls?" he said, and you tilted your head as you hit his arms, and he laughed.
"See, I'm sure you're going to get mad at me after this," he said as he ran his hand through your thigh. "What if I actually cheated, but I'm scared to tell you the truth?" you asked, and with that, he hit you with a pillow, which made you break out in laughter.
"What? Does it hurt?" you teased, but he just looked at you while chuckling, still unable to believe what you just said. "It hurts," he confessed, which made you laugh.
"What if this is the last time you'll laugh like that?" he said, which made you laugh harder. "What if I don't really love you and the one that I love is your brother?" you said as you laughed silently, and his face became gloomy.
"That's it, I'm done," he said as he stood up. You followed him while dying of laughter. "Babe, I'm sorry," you said as you chuckled. "Talk to yourself, I don't want to talk to you," he said, sulking, which made you laugh.
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© shinskichan
80 notes · View notes
Text
penalty box (me94) 18+
mark estapa x reader
warnings: smut. 18+
summary: private ice time turns into fun in the penalty box.
word count: 933 words
finding myself riding my boyfriend in the penalty box in Yost Ice Arena was not what i had planned for the day, yet here we are.
mark asked me to come with him to practice on the ice for a bit because he didn’t have any plans for the day and wanted to get some ice time in. of course, i said yes and met him there.
i walk across the ice to go sit in the penalty box. for some reason that’s always my go to place in the arena. i always sit here when mark does these little private ice times. i usually have pucks in there with me to slide across the ice to mark so he can work on his shots.
“Mark, i’m bored now.” i said to him. it had been about two hours at this point and he was just sitting on the ice. he laughs and gets up to come join me in the box.
“yeah, you get 10 minutes in the box for making me bored for 20 minutes.” i joke as he gets in.
“i made you bored?” he asks and i nod.
“you stopped practicing and just sat on the ice for 20 minutes. it wasn’t hot anymore” i said. he looked confused and i explained that watching him practice was just hot and that’s why i always said yes to coming. he just laughs.
he has me get up and he sits in my spot and pulls me on his lap. he mentions how we have one more year of this and puts us in this quiet space.
“one more year with our best friends.” i say to him. he wraps his arms around me and kisses my neck.
“you know what fantasy i’ve always had?” he asks and i hum in response.
“you riding me in this box. i’ve spent so much time in here and so often have i thought about taking that tight little cunt in this box” he says and he nips at my neck making me gasp. 
i can feel his dick getting hard in his sweatpants and it makes me moan just a bit.
he nips at my ear and says “come on pretty girl. ride me.” i lean against him and moan at his words.
he moves his hands down my body to go into my shorts. “oh fuck. you’re already soaked.” he says as he starts to run his fingers through the wetness that was pooling. 
i nod my head giving him the consent he needed to push two fingers inside me to get me ready for him. mark is the person who always gives me at least one orgasm before he even thinks about his own. as he works me closer to the edge with his fingers, he leaves trails of kisses down my neck.
“come on pretty girl. come undone for me.” he says and that’s all it takes for me to come undone against him. after he works me through my orgasm, he taps my thigh and it makes me get up. 
 i take my shorts off and turn to face him and i see him licking his fingers clean. “mhm my favorite taste in the world is the sweetness of your cum.” he says to me.
i just look at him and then his crotch and he gets the hint.
he stands up to take his sweatpants off and once he sits back down, he pulls me down to where i am straddling his lap. 
he kisses me with a passion so fierce as he works his way to take my jacket off and only stops kissing me long enough to get my jacket and shirt off.
he takes advantage of me being distracted to push his way into me. both of us moaning at the feeling of him filling me up with his cock.
“god fuck that is my favorite feeling. feeling you sink into me like that.” he says to me once he is all the way inside me. 
the contact of him inside me makes me moan. i take a minute to adjust to his size before i start to move my body.
as i start to move myself up and down on his dick, he moves to where he can hold my waist with one hand but also provide my boobs some much needed attention.
my lips go to his neck nipping and sucking and leaving marks that will show long after we finish here.
both of us are moaning messes and eventually mark takes control of my movements.
“pretty girl i love when you ride me but i have to take over.” he says as he grabs my hips and uses that grip to roughly fuck into me making me fall against his chest. 
as i get closer to my second orgasm, i can feel mark getting close to his. “come on handsome. you made me come undone once, now its your turn to come with me.” i say to him making him moan as he picks up his pace and harshness of his thrusts. 
he takes a hand and grabs my hair to pull my head up to kiss him as we both come undone.
once we both ride out our orgasms, we stay like that for just a minute before i get off him.
as we clean up everything and head out of the arena, he says to me “can we do that every time i do these ice times?” and i just laughing knowing they probably will end like that every time.
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waytooinvested · 1 day
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Lena: So. What’s taking you to Milan?
Kara: Oh no…
Lena: During your “big work thing”.
Kara: Okay. This isn’t what it looks like.
Lena: God, can’t you be any more original than that?
Kara: Not really no. Because, it looks like I’m having an affair, doesn’t it?
Lena: Yes it FUCKING does.
Kara: Yeah. And I’m not. What I’m doing is… I’m saving the world from an alien invasion.
Lena: You’re-what? No you’re not.
Kara: Yeah, I am… and I’m really sorry.
Lena: What? I mean y-y-y-you’re not. But why are you?
Kara: Because… and again, I am so sorry. That’s my job.
Lena: It’s not. You’re a Personal Assistant.
Kara: No. I’m a Superhero. Quite- quite a famous Superhero.
Lena: So that Superhero we see on the news that looks and sounds exactly like you…
Kara: Supergirl? Yeah that’s me. I wear glasses so no one can tell.
Lena: But why would you hide this from me???
Kara: Because when we first met, you, very charmingly, explained to me how Kryptonian powers work.
Lena: Did I?
Kara: Yes you did. It was basically the first conversation we ever had, and then immediately afterwards, like straight away you asked me what I did for a living. And I thought well if I say Kryptonian Superhero you’ll feel really stupid, so I said Personal Assistant.
Lena: Why Personal Assistant?
Kara: Because I thought it was so boring you wouldn’t ask me any other questions. You did though. You were very sweet and you asked loads of questions. Which I answered. Making it hard to go back from it on a second date… And then the relationship continued, and I don’t know, at a certain point I just realised it’s now impossible ever to tell you.
Lena: A certain point? What, like our wedding day?!
Kara: No, way before that.
Lena: So what did you think was going to happen in the end?
Kara: I suppose I thought something exactly like this was going to happen in the end…
Lena: Is this all really true?
Kara: Yeah. And I mean… I can prove it quite easily.
Lena: So… you’re not having an affair?
Kara: No, I swear I have never, EVER cheated on you.
Lena: But you have lied to me. Since the day we met. About what you do, what you care about, basically who you are.
Kara: Yeah… Yeah. That’s worse isn’t it?
Lena: …. No it’s way better. Just don’t ever do it again, okay?
Kara: It’s hard to see how I could.
Source: John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme
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lovebittenbyevans · 4 hours
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See No Shame | Part 2
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Summary: You and Nanami were only seeing each other for three months. You eventually wanted more but of course they always say “don’t be someone second choice” in a man life.
Pairing: Billionaire! Nanami Kento x Female Reader
Warnings: cursed words
Author note: second part of this mini-series is here! I like writing for this. If you like you can reblog, comment but enjoy reading!
Part 2
Three months went by fast when you used to be around Nanami a lot. You didn’t care what he did and how rich he was at all. You just wanted to be around him all the time but now everything changes between you and him.
Sometimes you can't bring yourself to cry about him anymore even though your heart still beats for him. You tried to avoid him after he didn’t want to deal with you like that anymore but he only calls or texts you when she is not around.
For the past few weeks you only took shifts at the library when you thought it was necessary. You didn’t want to face Nanami again and cry about him some more.
You were trying so hard to get over he doesn’t feel the same about you but Tiffany kept sending you articles about him with Ariel nonstop. Of course Tiffany would send you a whole text message about how Ariel isn’t shit at all. You would laugh at anything she sends you with a comment.
Ignoring Nanami calls and text messages is all you have been doing for the last few days. You couldn’t bring yourself to cry about him anymore. You are regretting going to Yu Haibara party since he is Nanami's best friend.
You placed the gift you got for him on the table with a bunch of other gifts. “Don’t look now but Nanami is here with Ariel.” Tiffany whispers next to you.
You sigh and roll your eyes. “It seems like they came matching tonight.” She whispers to you again.
Fucking great
It shouldn’t be a surprise for you that Nanami was here at all. Yu and Nanami have always been close since their high school days. They always say fake it until you make it.
You made your way to the other side of the room as Tiffany followed right behind you. You greeted some people you knew but didn’t chat with them for long. You pour yourself some champagne into a tall clear glass cup as you hear a voice behind you. “Y/N and Tiffany.”
That whiny and flat voice, you only heard three times. “Ariel.” You gave Tiffany her tall clear glass cup as you turned around with a fake smile on your face.
“Wow, small world.” Tiffany clears her throat and takes a sip of her drink.
Ariel looks stunning wearing a purple body-con dress that shows her curves. You thought she was dressed up going to a club.
Ariel grabs tall clear glass from one of the butler’s who was handing them out on a tray. “How are you, Y/N?” She takes a swig of her drink.
“I’m good.” The only thing you said to her.
Tiffany jumps right in the conversation. “I’m good too. Work is killing me.”
Everyday you thank god for Tiffany because you have no idea where you would be without her.
You excuse yourself and walk around the place. You had to admit Yu always knew how to throw a party. You stop to admire one of the paintings on the wall when a raspy voice can be heard behind you. “Hello, Y/N.”
Suddenly your heart was racing fast as fuck.
Shit, Shit
“Yu, got that painting of his beautiful mom for Mother’s Day three years ago.” He says standing next to you.
You take another sip of your drink before speaking. “Hi and it’s beautiful.”
Nanami nods, placing both of his hands behind his back. “Hmm, I also want to say I–” You interrupted him as you locked eyes with him. “Don’t apologize. I am happy for you and Ariel.”
Fuck! It hurts for you to say that
A piece of your heart felt like it was being ripped apart again. You told yourself you had to say it in order to move on from him. You let out a breath while feeling a lump in your throat.
“Um. Thanks.” He muttered.
You squeezed his shoulder. “Happy looks good on you Nan.” You look at him again before making your way back to Tiffany.
You truly need to stop lying to yourself for once. For now you feel like a complete idiot when you know you didn’t mean those words to him.
You cough getting her attention, setting your empty tall glass down on the table. “I want to leave.” You hate the way you are feeling right now.
“Y/N, don’t take her away from me.” Gojo pouts while squeezing her cheeks with his palm.
You scoff and shake your head. “Nice to see you too, Gojo.” Sometimes you can't stand Gojo at all. He acts like a child half the time.
Tiffany gave him a kiss on the cheeks and followed right behind you out the front door. “What’s wrong? What did Nanami do? Is it Ariel?”
You let out a loud whine and start rambling. “I told him I was happy for his relationship.”
Tiffany smacks your arm playfully. “Now, why would you tell him that lie? We both know you are not over that man.”
You sigh. “I know. I know.”
She embraced you with a hug and rubs your back gently. “Look, I love you but you need to stop running away from him. Fuck Ariel.” She continues. “He doesn’t deserve you and he still can’t see it.”
You stood there listening to her as she pulled away from you. “Y/N, learn to feel your feelings then eventually brush it off.” Her eyes focused on you.
You understand what she was saying but it is hard for you to do that. You never saw yourself brushing off the feelings you have for this man. Your heart still beats for him and that’s scary.
“Oh my god.” You felt completely sick.
Tiffany hates seeing you like this over someone who just ended things with you three months ago. She never saw you act like this over guy before.
She opened her mouth to comment when you felt your phone vibrate against the pocket of your black jeans. You pull your phone out and a text message from Nanami on the screen.
Nanami: I don’t want you out of my life, Y/N
Nanami: I love you
Your eyes widened, those three words shocked you completely.
Is he serious?
“What happened?” Tiffany asked.
You turn your phone off and put it back in your black jeans pocket. “You can stay. I’ll just go home by myself.” You take the car keys out of her purse.
Tiffany gave you a side eye glance. “You sure?” She can see right through you that there was something you aren’t telling her.
“Yeah, tell gojo to take you home. I want to take a walk first.” You gave her a hug and then began walking down the block.
Taking your phone out of your pocket, you continue walking while rereading Nanami messages a couple of times. You notice three dots appear for a second and then he sends another message.
Nanami: let’s talk soon, I want to take you somewhere ❤️
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unseemingowl · 7 hours
Text
Saga Anderson, and Nordic rep in Alan Wake 2
Early on in Saga Anderson’s exploration in Alan Wake 2, she runs into Ilmo Koskela. Fiercely proud of his Finnish heritage, Ilmo gregariously makes note of Saga’s Nordic sounding name and the familiar design of her knitted sweater. Perhaps a fellow Finn?
Alas no, Saga’s mom is Swedish she informs him. Immediately Ilmo’s face falls. I’m not sure if it’s actually just the animated character defaulting to his resting face, but either way the timing is too perfect. Cue uproarious laughter from me. People in the Nordics are on friendly terms of course, but we gotta have the tiniest bit of… scornfor each other. All in good fun of course. It’s traditional.
Now, I’m Danish, not Finnish, but still, I feel right at home in the towns of Bright Falls and Watery in Alan Wake 2. All of the little nods to Nordic culture and mindset feel so wonderfully familiar to me. The melancholia, the irreverent sense of humor, the affection for the Finnish and Swedish quirks of the characters. The game feels all the stronger in tone and narrative for Remedy embracing the Finnish roots of the studio.
Which is exactly why it sucks that I almost immediately saw the charm of those narrative decisions weaponised against Saga.
I first watched the scene between Ilmo and Saga on a lets play when I was trying to figure out if I should finally dip my toes into survival horror and buy the game. Delighted by the writing I took a look into the comments to see if people were vibing as hard with it as I was. They were. But I also saw a comment that made me frown.
Paraphrasing, it basically went, come on, like hell a guy like Ilmo would make the assumption that a black woman is Finnish. There are a multitude of reasons why I think that person was wrong, mainly that Nordic people love it when we run into each other in other countries, but it also just made me sad.
Saga being black does not negate her Swedish heritage. Formally, she is American, sure (I assume, not sure how that works in the US), but she’s raised by her single Swedish mom, of course she’s going to identify heavily with that part of her herself. It’s a profound and essential part of who she is.
But hey, I’m a white potato Dane, so I’m not gonna argue that I know much about the experience of being biracial. I’m gonna stick to what I know, which is that Saga is a very moving and beautiful example of something that I’m actually not used to seeing much of - a story about connecting with your Nordic heritage and roots. And it’s part of why I love her so much.
When Nordic people show up in big, international productions, it’s usually as Vikings, and sure, it’s fun to see our wild ancestors, but contemporary questions of Nordic identity and heritage is not something I often see explored. Not even in our own productions.
So much of Saga’s story is about family. Fighting for her current one, Logan and Casey (and sure, David too, lol), and rediscovering her first one. Tor and Odin.
Her discovering her ties to Tor and Odin is profoundly moving and made me teary-eyed several times over. And sure, a lot of those ties are fantastical in nature, but they still feel very much grounded - and what makes us Nordic if not the ties to our myths and legends that Tor and Odin have made themselves the living avatars of.
While Saga’s mom, Freya, had good reasons for leaving the Anderson seer magics behind, seeing them as part of what made her family fucked up, she also cut Saga off from the fullness of her capabilities. It is only through Saga reforming her family, healing its scars and fully embracing the Anderson heritage that she becomes as powerful a parautilitarian as she is at the end of the game. That’s beautiful.
And in fact I think Saga being black only deepens the richness of those themes rather than negate them or make them irrelevant. Because yes, Saga’s story would have been moving if she was a white character too, but I am very well aware that a lot of biracial people of Nordic ancestry can feel alienated from that part of themselves. Not least because questions of who gets to claim a Nordic heritage can get pretty ugly around here. There are most definitely people who share the racist mindset of that commentator. It adds an extra dimension. Which is why seeing Tor and Odin’s eagerness to claim Saga as part of the Anderson heritage is all the more moving. Through her magics, she’s just so obviously an Anderson, and they’re so damn proud to call her theirs and fight alongside her. Because they all got that wild Viking blood in them. They’re part of her and she’s part of them.
Roger Ebert, the film critic once called movies empathy machines. I think games, when they’re at their best, can be an even more intense variation of that. Which is exactly why it baffles me that some people can play through Alan Wake 2 and still think Saga is a stunt-woke character rather than someone fully and beautifully integrated in the narrative. A narrative which, at its most basic level – in my opinion – is about the mystical bonds we form with each other and the rest of the world through art and love and blood and family and heritage. All the great horror doesn’t negate that either, it amplifies it. Kind of like that clicker.
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babygirl-diaz · 2 days
Text
Baked Goods (Teddie Omegaverse Fic)
I rarely write smut because I am not good at it but this is a smaller ship so I felt more confident writing for it because fewer people are reading it lmao.
***
Eddie was a stress baker. Anytime things got bad, he would whip out the all-purpose flour, sugar, and butter, along with all the other ingredients, and make his next greatest hit. Today he was keeping it simple and baking some sugar cookies. He already had a tray cooling on the rack on the table, while another was in the oven. He was working on a third batch when he heard the front door open.
"Eddie?" Tommy's voice rang through the house.
"In the kitchen!" Eddie replied as he used a star-shaped cutter to cut out the next cookie.
"Oh no, what happened?"
Eddie looked up from the cookies to see Tommy giving him a concerned look. "What do you mean?" Eddie asked, playing dumb.
"You only bake so much if you're upset about something." Tommy moved towards him and wrapped his arms around him from behind, resting his hand on the small visible bump on Eddie's stomach.
Eddie sighed and leaned back against him. "I talked to my mom today. She said some things about how this is a high-risk pregnancy because of my age and it just ticked me off," Eddie replied.
The protective arms tightened around Eddie. "She had no right to upset you, Eddie. I'm so sorry."
"She's the one who should be sorry, but she wasn't," Eddie told him and leaned back against him.
"Do you want me to talk to her? Tell her to butt out?" Tommy asked.
"No, that will only make things worse." Eddie sighed. "Can you just- I dunno- make me forget?"
"Oh yeah?" Tommy asked and Eddie could hear the amusement in his voice. "And how do you propose I do that?"
That made Eddie smile and he turned around in Tommy's arms, kissing him. "I'm sure you will find a way."
Eddie yelped as he was swept off his feet and taken into Tommy's arms, bridal style. He immediately wrapped his arms around Tommy's neck.
Without saying another word, Tommy carried him to their bedroom and lay him down on the bed, before climbing on top of him.
The moment their lips connected, the kiss turned heated and they were haphazardly removing each other's clothes. Eddie lifted his hips so that Tommy could remove his pants and boxers before Tommy got out of bed to take off his own pants. When Tommy returned, Eddie was immediately on him, kissing him hard.
"I wanna fuck you so bad," Tommy whispered breathlessly against his lips.
"I thought that much was obvious," Eddie replied and grazed his bottom lip with his teeth. "I'm already so wet," he whispered, guiding Tommy's hand between his legs.
"Shit," Tommy hissed and pulled his hand back. He shoved a pillow under Eddie's hips and spread his legs just watching him for a moment. "Never get tired of this sight. Especially with this recent development," he added touching Eddie's swollen belly.
Heat rose in Eddie's cheeks at that and he pulled Tommy down for another kiss. He felt Tommy's cock breach his hole and moaned into Tommy's mouth.
Tommy pushed inside him and groaned. "No matter how many times I fuck you, you're always so tight."
Eddie said nothing to that and just wrapped his legs around Tommy's waist.
Once he was fully inside Eddie, Tommy just looked down at his face and said, "You're so beautiful."
Eddie chuckled at that. "You don't have to sweet talk me, baby. I'm already letting you fuck me."
"Eddie?"
"Hmmm?"
"Shut up," Tommy smirked and kissed him once more before he started moving.
Eddie moaned loudly as Tommy thrust inside him at a hard, brutal pace. Just how Eddie liked it. Tommy's hand wrapped around Eddie's cock and he stroked it in time with his thrusts.
They went at it for what seemed like hours and kissed in between. When Tommy buried his face in Eddie's neck and bit down on his bonding gland, Eddie knew he was close.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, baby," Eddie let out a litany of curses and soon came all over Tommy's hand.
Tommy thrust inside him a few more times before he was coming too, filling Eddie up.
They lay there, panting and catching their breath when Eddie felt kisses on his collarbone.
"I love you, Eddie," Tommy told him, looking at him again. "I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe."
"I know you will, baby," Eddie told him. "And I love you too."
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namedr · 2 days
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What are your art inspirations?
Disclaimer: A LOT of RAMBLING
Honestly hard to answer, nowadays I don't really look at a lot of art anymore but mostly just movies.
Biggest inspiration over the years (from 2020 to 2022) would have to be Kan Liu. His painting style with mostly just the round brush and hard edges really spoke to me, especially when it came to lineart I was a massive fucking copycat lmao.
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Around 2022 I also began falling in love with Sungmoo Heo. The perspectives and overall style just fucks so hard.
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The most obvious inspo would have to be Seonhyeok Jeon though, who I still rip off blatantly.
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In general I began taking art seriously around 2020, when I found Kan Liu, because I began training to compete in bodybuilding, which I did the next year. I began getting super interested in how the body and muscles work so I just drew those a fuck ton, and those anatomy studies ended up really helping my art skills in general.
Anyway! For animation... Hiroto Nagata and Q Kawa are big inspos.
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This shit is so fucking RAW and HOLY SHIT when I look at how the perspective gets just in your face I always just think "what am I even doing man I have to PRACTICE". It's like watching a Zyzz or Ronny Coleman clip before doing a lift at the gym but for art, shit's motivational.
This cut in Ghost In the Shell as well is WOW, I think what speaks a lot to me is when an animation doesn't conform to what's standard in the medium and tries to push boundaries/be unique. Be it in this case through insane details, in the case of Mushoku Tensei through bg animation mixed with extreme foreshortening or just a crazy perspective and punchy movements in the Madoka clip.
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Overall it's hard to say what else my inspirations are though. When it comes to manga and comics I can think of Batman Year One, The Climber by Shin-ichi Sakamoto, Ultra Heaven by Keichi Koike, Solo Leveling (big inspo in 2021) and Homunculus.
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Also, even though everyone assumes it, I haven't played Cyberpunk 2077 or am that big a fan of the Blame! manga, I guess I just have a fairly similar artistic vision to both of those.
For animated fiction it'd be Spiderverse recently, Millennium Actress, Silent Voice and a million other anime I've forgotten the name of. Naoko Yamada's directing for Silent Voice or other anime like Hibike Euphonium and the Liz movie has always been amazing to me because she is able to express characters personalities through their body language, like they way they walk or stand, in a way I have never seen done before. Extremely recognizable and iconic style imo. A long time ago I used to be really into watching anime, but I don't care much for it anymore.
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Other inspo would be this guy on twitter, his stuff is insanely cool https://twitter.com/be_myvu/status/1725069515107533178?s=46
It's like that Ralph Waldo Emerson quote - “I cannot remember the books I've read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.” I think throughout the years I've been so obsessed with all kinds of artists that I've taken in inspiration from everywhere. I cannot recall them all anymore, but they have made me the artist I am today.
Currently, like I said, I would consider movies to be my biggest inspiration because I find it interesting how cinematographers are able to stylize real life, which I'm trying to get closer to. If I could direct a movie, I would probably stop making art right then and there, but I'm not really working towards that goal anyway lmao. One day, being able to make a short film in animation would be something I would like to do though.
I'm not deep enough into the movie scene to get the street cred of being called an expert but I love them a lot. Fallen Angels made me fall in love with fisheye back then for example. Fight Club and The Batman have a grit to them visually that I find inspiring, and movies like Persona and Heat also come to mind when I think of movies I just love. I could look up my letterboxd for a more thorough answer but I feel I've already been writing way too long.
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For video games, I guess you can imagine that I would say Signalis lmao. Besides that I can think of Subahibi (vn), Muramasa (vn), and Va-11 Hall-a for inspirations
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Lastly, I guess huge inspirations are also a fuck ton of music. I mostly listen to either metal or hard techno, but I think I'll refrain from any more yapping.
I feel that this isn't really a great answer to the question, but it's the one I consider the most correct, because it's never as simple as just mentioning one artist. With a lot of these you wouldn't see a visual resemblence to my art, but in all of these I recognize a feeling that I also find in my own art.
Thank you for the question!
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tinyywriterr · 3 days
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WHO WILL IT BE?
*+:。.。.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·.。.。:+**+:。.。.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·.。.。:+*
{Toji + POC Reader}
∘°∘♡∘°∘𝓒𝓗𝓐𝓟𝓣𝓔𝓡 𝓔𝓛𝓔𝓥𝓔𝓝 ~ 𝓓𝓔𝓒𝓘𝓢𝓘𝓞𝓝𝓢 & 𝓓𝓔𝓐𝓛𝓢∘°∘♡∘°∘
⟿ Song to Go with the Chapter: Off To The Races by Lana Del Rey [Toji + Reader theme song for this chapter] {literally like idk why I didn’t think of this song before}
⟿ Word Count: 4,900 +
⟿ First Toji + Reader smut scene | finally Toji fluff | Nanami + Reader smut scene
⟿ Summary: Over dinner Nanami asks Toji a question that really shocks you. They finally clue you in on their little scheme and you’re truly taken aback. You also somewhat come to the conclusion that you have feelings for Toji that same night. Around four months later Nanami decides to stay home just so you and Toji could go on a date together. Through out the past four months you’ve enjoyed having Toji around along with his son Megumi. It’s like you all are one big family which is something you could only dream about.
*+:。.。.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·.。.。:+**+:。.。.·:*¨༺༻¨*:·.。.。:+*
𝓒𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓦𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰: contains smut, pet names, fluff, cream pie, fingering, oral sex, dom/sub, light brat taming, fem reader, black fem reader/you, and etc. [please don’t read if easily triggered or not 18 +]
◈━◈━◈━◈━◈
𝓐𝓾𝓽𝓱𝓸𝓻𝓼 𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮: 18+ please & please don’t copy and paste my story anywhere else. This chapter is slightly shorter then the last chapter by about 400 words. Mainly because I wanted to write some sweet moments and some smut before shit hits the fan again. BUT ANYWAYS, this is my first tumblr fic so if you leave a heart, reblog, or comment it’s greatly appreciated! If there are any errors I am open to anyone correcting me in the comments, leaving feedback, or dming me. I hope you will enjoy this as much as I did when I wrote this!
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
 
 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝐸𝒩𝒟 𝒪𝐹 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝒲𝐸𝐸𝒦 | 𝒴𝒪𝒰𝑅 𝒫𝒪𝒱✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
 
 
When you woke up the next day and realized Toji didn’t leave so you knew Nanami was planning something. Throughout the whole week, all of you continued to have incredible sex and just enjoyed each other's company. Nanami finally was able to leave the house not worrying about you being home alone or bored. Along with being able to work on his bakery business having Toji around want half bad. Toji always took the opportunity whenever Nanami was gone to rock your world and when Toji would be gone for the day Nanami would do the same. It was amazing having the both of them separately or at the same time almost mind numbing truly. It was like the best dream ever but it came to life.
 
 
‘I wonder what Nanami said to him. I love both of them and could see a future with all of us together. But I could also just see me and Nanami together and inviting Toji over whenever. But there’s something about Toji,’ you think to yourself as you prepare dinner for everyone. Today you decided to make something you’ve been craving, Sunday dinner. It was something your mother would make on rare occasions or when you’d visited your grandmother. It consisted of baked chicken, yams, green beans, baked mac n cheese, and lastly some cornbread. It was kind of hard to find the cornbread box mix you liked so you decided to just follow a recipe of it you found online. You started early preparing the meal so it’d be ready around the time you and Nanami usually would have dinner. This is the first time you’ve cooked in a long time so you’re kind of nervous to see what the two men will think of an African American cultural dish. You plated the food and set down each plate at their respective spots before calling for them to come to the kitchen.
 
 
“Wow, y/n what smells so good?” Nanami asks as he comes into the kitchen waving the air to get a better smell.
 
 
“Fuck, I’m so hungry…” Toji groans as he takes his seat and digs in immediately.
 
 
“That’s what you get for not eating breakfast,” you tease smiling from ear to ear as you take your seat. Nanami sits down last rubbing your back as you begin to dig in as well.
 
 
“This is really good y/n! You said this was called ‘Sunday dinner’ back in the States? Maybe we should move there!” Toji jokes in between chuckles before returning his attention back to his plate. Nanami chuckles as well and starts to eat savoring every bite still lovingly rubbing your back with his free hand.
 
 
“Ya, it’s usually something you’d eat after church. My mom only made it a few times but when she did it was a cause for celebration,” you explain trying not to talk with your mouth open.
 
 
“This is really good and hardy y/n, you should cook more if you’re comfortable,” Nanami praises as he has finished his plate rubbing his stomach proudly.
 
 
“Where the fuck did your food go?” Toji says flabbergasted as he takes his last bite.
 
 
“I should be saying that to both of you,” you tease as you point at your food showing a still semi-full plate. Everyone erupts into laughter then soon after Nanami gets up to grab some whiskey from his office.
 
 
“I hope everyone wants a drink I already poured 3 cups,” Nanami says as he walks back with three glasses with 2 shots of whiskey in them. You and Toji nod thankfully as you both take a glass sipping on it and both of you puckering your lips after. “You guys are some wimps,” Nanami teases grinning softly before taking a long sip and not making a face after.
 
 
“You just like the taste. Grab me something to smoke it’ll go great with this whiskey,” You command waving at Nanami who shakes his head as he walks upstairs to grab you a cigarette. After a couple of minutes he comes back down and he grabbed three cigarettes. Nanami individually pass one to each of you before he lights your cigarette for you. He then passes the lighter to Toji to spark his own cigarette. Once the lighter found its way back to Nanami he lit his cigarette taking a long drag.
 
 
“So have you decided Toji?” Nanami asks turning to Toji lifting up an eyebrow. You stare back between the two men as Toji looks like he’s thinking about what Nanami just asked him.
 
 
“Yes, I have and it’s a ‘yes’. Now don’t try to kiss me or anything,” Toji teases standing up and walking to Nanami to do a very interesting brotherly handshake that Nanami awkwardly accepted.
 
 
“So…who’s gonna fill me in?” You inquire standing up and putting your cigarette on the ash tray. You have finished eating and picked up all the plates to put in the sink. You make your way towards the sink as you wait for an explanation.
 
 
“My love, me, and Toji made a deal. I proposed to him that we all could become a poly couple. I see how you look at him and how he looks at you. So, I asked him and he had until today to decide.” Nanami explains grimacing as Toji puts his arm around Nanami's back giving it a good slap.
 
 
You’re speechless for a second as your back is turned to them. You put the plates in the sink and stand there for a moment. ‘How did he notice? I mean I know I brought up the threesome but this is for real life crazy; it feels like Nanami can read my mind. Or am I just predictable?’ You question to yourself but you pull yourself out of that spiral turning around and smiling.
 
 
“So, that’s why hmm interesting didn’t see that coming at all. Crazy how you all didn’t feel like including me in the conversation but I’ll let it slide this one time. You should be glad I love you both,” you tease walking towards them both. “But Mr. Nanami you never cease to amaze me. I’m glad our fun doesn’t have to end and will only continue.” You add playfully then lean in and kissing him softly letting both of your lips dance together. You pull away suddenly kissing Toji on the lips as you palm Nanami’s dick only his pants being the barrier. You moan softly letting Toji slip his tongue into your mouth letting your tongues explore each other. You smile in the kiss before pulling away and palming them both. “Or maybe I won’t let it slide and torture you both…” you coo smirking deviously. Both men look at each other wide-eyed both wondering what you’ll do to them or not do to them. You pull your hands away swiftly and pick your still lit cigarette up off the ash tray and take a puff of it while twirling away from them snickering softly. “Nothing for either of you tonight,~” you tease loudly as you walk up the stairs. Slamming your door you lay on your bed and stare at the ceiling.
 
 
‘I can’t believe Kento would ask that question that’s so left field of him. And I can’t ignore my fucking feelings for Toji. FUCK, how will this turn out?..’ you think as you continue to puff your cigarette.  
 
 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:*𝟦 𝑀𝒪𝒩𝒯𝐻𝒮 𝐿𝒜𝒯𝐸𝑅 𝑀𝒜𝒦𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝐼𝒯 𝒥𝒰𝒩𝐸 | 𝒴𝒪𝒰𝑅 𝒫𝒪𝒱✧・゚: *✧・゚:*
You wake up slowly rubbing your hand on Toji’s chest and your leg on Nanami’s leg as you all had a sleepover in the sex dungeon. Fully awake now you look at the two men sleeping like babies as they both snored softly. You stare up at the ceiling recounting how life has been as of recent. Nanami is about to open his bakery and Toji has finally moved Megumi in but sadly it’s only during the summer break. You slowly slither out of the grip the two men had you in and throw on a silk robe. You open the door quietly you walk out of the room doing the same as you close the door. You make your way up to your room and close the door plopping on the bed lost in thought. You hear your phone buzz and roll over to grab it. After getting up again fully with phone in hand you walk over to the big windows facing the backyard. You unlock your phone the time reads 9 am and a ton of notifications flood in. You have a couple of texts from Angel, one from Trina, and a couple from your sibling group chat.
 
You smirk softly as you open Angel’s it reads; ‘girl when are you coming to see me I miss you!!!’ sent at 10:30 pm ‘I know you’re enjoying your soft life but don’t forget about me!’ sent at 1:45 am ‘YOU ALSO GOTTA TELL ME EVERYTHING!!!’ sent at 5:00 am.
 
 
While chuckling soft you respond with saying. ‘You’re so silly I'll come see you sometime soon I'm gonna be in the city next week anyways!! We should go get drunk or something. AND BITCH THERES A LOT TO TELL!’ You send the message then go to Trina's message.
 
 
It reads; ‘Good morning girlfriend! What hairstyle you wanna do next week?’ sent at 11:00 am.
 
 
You respond with; ‘Good Morninggggg! I'm thinking crochet locs. What you think?’
 
 
You send it and swipe to your sibling's group chat with your brothers. You have tons of messages from Angelo they read; ‘You forgot all about us!!! It’s okay though I know you’re busy and a grown up now. I can’t wait to see you! Nanami has taken great care of us and I’m happy you found him,’ from Angelo sent at 7:30 pm.
 
 
‘Daran is forcing me to do homework tell him TO LEAVE ME ALONE,’ from Angelo sent at 8:54 pm.
 
 
‘Don’t listen to him enjoy yourself big sister we both just miss you," from Daran sent at 9:15 pm.
 
 
You laugh loudly as you read the messages and you respond saying. ‘Mannn Angelo do your homework and I miss you both very much. And could never forget y’all I hope you know I love you both equally. I can’t wait to see you guys too! I might actually come to you all but don’t quote me on that.’
Once sent you hear a knock at your door; “come in!” You yell turning around as the door opens.
 
 
“Hello Mx. Nanami, I am hungry…” Megumi practically whispers as he looks around the room.
 
 
“Okay, I can make you something what would you like?” You ask as you walk towards him beckoning him to follow you.
 
 
“Hmmmm, pancakes please..” he says skipping a little as he follows you down the steps. You both enter the kitchen and you start to gather the ingredients to make breakfast. With Megumi sitting on the kitchen counter he just watches as you make his pancakes. “You’re very pretty Mx. Nanami. Will you be marrying Mr. Nanami soon?” Megumi inquires leaning closer to you and waiting for your answer. He’s the spitting image of his father and Toji was right he’s not as loud. But having him around reminds you of the old days of taking care of your little brothers.
 
 
“I sure hope so wanna know a secret?” You ask leaning in closer to him making Megumi become wide-eyed. “I really love Mr. Nanami..” you whisper leaning back and smiling then refocusing on flipping the pancakes making sure they don’t burn. Megumi has a shocked look on his face clasping his hands together before jumping off the counter. 

 
“I’m going to tell Nanami!” Megumi teases grinning devilishly just like his father.
 
 
“Ooooh no you won’t! Also, he’s still sleeping and your pancakes are ready!! Sit down at the table,” You say shaking your head as you point towards the table. Megumi huffs and puffs as he makes his way to the table thanking you as you place his plate on the table. He takes his time eating looking around and savoring every bite. You sit down next to Megumi both of you chatting and laughing as he finishes his food.
 
 
“I’m gonna go play now,” Megumi announces once bored with the conversation and running to his room slamming the door shut. You can’t help but laugh as you stand up pick up his dirty dish to put it in a pile in the sink. Once the plate hits the sink you suddenly hear a door swing open. You whip around to see Toji beckoning you to come to the sex dungeon.
 
 
“He’s upstairs playing he’ll be busy,” Toji says raising a devious eyebrow. Rolling your eyes you walk towards the room still in your robe. As you walk in Nanami walks out stopping you to kiss your cheek before you both continue walking.
 
 
“I’ll be look out and I’ll whistle if anything goes wrong,” Nanami explains before closing the door and locking it softly behind him. You turn your attention back to Toji who’s already pulling his boxers off.
 
 
“Come over and relieve me brat,” Toji commands as his boxers fall to the floor. You walk over to him and he shakes his head. “Turn around and do it again. But crawl to me this time and take that stupid robe off,” Toji teases winking at you. “I’ll take you out after I wanna have some alone time with you. I already told Nanami he’s gonna take Megumi to the bookstore," he explains in a sincere tone. Within seconds you have already turned around and got on your hands and knees.
 
 
“I’d enjoy that very much daddy,~” you coo winking back at him as you crawl towards him keeping eye contact the whole time. As you get right under him practically under his balls he points his dick down to touch your lips.
 
 
“I get your mouth today, we did rock paper scissors,” Toji explains as you part your lips softly licking his tip. “Ughhh don’t tease me brat you know I can’t take it,” Toji groans bending his knees slightly to force his dick deeper into your mouth. You smile softly before taking as much as you can into your mouth. Your jaw still hasn’t gotten used to Toji or your throat so you're expecting to be a little hoarse after. You hollow out your cheeks before placing your right hand around the rest of his length and playing with his hairy balls with the other hand. You earn a moan and a buck of the hips out of him making you moan softly. You bob your head at a decent pace not wanting to tire yourself out. Toji had other plans like always, he grabbed the back of your head as he meets each bob of your head with a deep thrust of his hips. You gag softly trying not to make too much noise as slobber starts to spill out your mouth. The lewd sounds coming from you two was always so enchanting and arousing. You swirl your tongue as best as you can still trying to keep up with Toji’s thrusts. “Fuckkk y/n your throat is so good,~” Toji praises loosing his grip on the back of your head and beginning to pat it instead. You quicken the pace as you feel his dick swell and decide to grip Toji’s hip with your right hand. You try your best to deep throat as much of his length down your throat. “Such a good brat, I saw you roll your eyes earlier at me you thought you’d get away with that?” Toji teases slightly tapping you on the cheek with a free hand. You look up at him and wink making him melt instantly he whispers a string of curse words tilting his head back. “You know me so well beautiful,” he says between groans trailing off at the end. Toji’s dick twitches as cum shoots out of it making your eyes water and gag hard. He bucks his hips again making cum shoot out your mouth and dripping down to your chin and to your chest. You swallow as much as you could as he slowly pulls his dick out. You open your mouth showing the cum you still have left to swallow. Toji bends over and grips your cheeks lightly making you keep your mouth open. He slowly lets a line of spit fall in before bending up again and smacking your cheek lightly. “Swallow,” he commands while patting your head. You do as he says and then slowly stand up wobbling a little as your legs had fallen asleep.
 
 
“I’m glad I can please you, daddy.” You say smiling softly as you use your finger to wipe from your chest to your mouth seductively before licking your finger. Toji groans smirking at you before kissing you passionately and full of desire. You bite his lip softly making him grunt before grabbing your throat softly. He bites your lip back and nipping at it before pulling away.
 
 
“Fuck, get dressed I’ll meet you outside. Wear a dress a white one with a matching thong and bring a pack of smokes with you too,” Toji says as his choke turns to caressing your cheek softly. “I love you in a dress,” he says as you put your robe back on and walk out the door. Nanami and Megumi were already gone you yelled at Toji from upstairs that he could come out. You rummage through your closet looking for a cute white dress. You picked a short one that stopped at your upper thigh and was flowy so you could feel cutesy more than sexy. You walk back down the stairs and see Toji wearing black jeans and a gray tee shirt smiling at you.
 
 
"Zip the back up for me please," you ask showing your unzipped dress.
 
 
”You look gorgeous, breathtaking actually. We’re going to the horse track," Toji states as he zips your dress up slowly savoring the sight. "JUST TO WATCH NO GAMBLING!” He says before yelling the last few words as he steps away.
 
 
You laugh before walking to grab some white slip-on mules; “NO GAMBLING TOJI!” You tease matching his energy as you open the front door and walk to his car. You lean against the car waiting as he grabs his keys and walks out slamming the front door. “You need to work on that,” you say in a playful tone as Toji opens the car door for you.
 
 
“What exactly brat?” He asks mocking your tone and then staring you down hoping you’d crack.
 
 
“Slamming doors.” You say in between giggles as you get comfortable in the car, lean back into the seat, and with that, Toji slams the door making you erupt into laughter. You both make your way to the horse racing ring and Toji holds your hand leading the way. He plops down in a seat and you sit next to him. You pass him the pack of smokes before grabbing two out of it for yourself knowing you're not getting that pack back. You both watch the race betting against each other who would win; not with money of course. It helped him not gamble and it was like harm reduction and thankfully, it was fun to go out with Toji. You guys talked the whole time making each other laugh and smile. Soon all the races were done and Toji got up helping you up as he did.
 
 
“I’m hungry,” you say pouting as you both walk to the car.
“Nanami made lunch come on I know you get HANGRY,” Toji teases opening the car door for you. You plop in crossing your arms as you stick your tongue out and once again he slams the door. The drive home is quick once home you barely even wait for Toji to park the car before you’re running towards the house. You basically burst in making Nanami and Megumi snap their neck towards the front door. Toji runs in after you rubbing the back of his head. “She’s hungry, really hungry,” Toji teases playfully following behind you as you walk into the house.
Nanami laughs pulling your chair out for you as you plop down he pushes you toward the table. A beautiful sandwich sits before you with your favorite chips [insert your favorite sandwich & chips]. Your mouth practically waters as you dig in not noticing Toji passed you a soju to wash it all down. Once done everyone just chuckles as you lean back in the chair and your mood changes completely smiling at everyone. “Thank you, sorry Megumi you had to see me so hangry.” You say laughing at yourself a little Megumi just shrugs his shoulders chuckling a little too before returning to reading his book. Nanami rubs your shoulders making you lean your head back to look up at him resting your head on the back of the chair.
 
 
“You had fun today?” Nanami asks smiling down at you still rubbing your shoulders and giving a slight massage. You nod your head ‘yes’ closing your eyes and smiling softly back at him.
 
 
“I’ll chill with the kid you guys go fuck off somewhere,” Toji says waving his hand at you guys to leave. Both you and Nanami chuckle before you stand up taking your plate to the sink and dragging Nanami around behind you. “You see kid those two need help,” Toji teases making Megumi laugh. You both begin walking upstairs and thankfully Nanami didn’t forget the soju. You open your bedroom door closing it shut and locking it once Nanami is fully inside.
 
 
“I’ve been thinking about you all day..” you whisper leaning close to Nanami making him blush.
 
 
“Oh really? I’ve been thinking about you too you know. You must have something on your mind,” Nanami inquired before kissing your forehead. “Come lay with me let’s talk a bit,” Nanami commands as he lays on the bed making himself comfortable. You grab another cigarette for yourself out of the vintage cigarette dispenser and pass one to Nanami sparking both of yours. You both talk about mindless things and feelings as you drink your soju. Soon you are both cuddling into each other loving the private intimate moment.
 
 
“I have a question y/n?” Nanami asks softly in between kisses on your head as you snuggle into his chest.
 
 
“Shoot.” You say in a sleepy tone as you have drunk your soju way too fast.
 
 
“What is it you’d like to do? I feel like you have more to show the world,” Nanami says turning your head up towards him looking deep into your eyes.
 
 
“I used to sew my own clothes when I was younger I always enjoyed creating I just have to find the motivation,” you explain before kissing his chin.
 
 
“I can definitely see you doing that. If you ever want to talk about it let me know, okay?” Nanami says sincerely making sure you understand he’s here to help. As you nod your head ‘yes’ he slowly lets go before snaking his hands around your waist. “Why are you so soft?” He asks softly before kissing your cheek. “You said you were thinking about me. What were you thinking exactly?” Nanami asks as he whispers into your ear making a shiver go down your spine.
 
 
“Of you fucking me...I miss your touch daddy,~” you coo looking back at him. Nanami’s cheeks are flushed red as he smirks softly.
 
 
“Hmm, to fuck my princess or not?” He asks out loud pretending to think. You roll your eyes and turn away from him leaning back into his chest. You feel his hands slowly unzip your dress and pull one strap down. “Ooh no bra ah? Who was this for?” He teases as he slips your dress off leaving you in a white thong. “He must’ve told you to wear white. Toji has great taste cause you look delicious,~” Nanami coos before leaning you forward so he can stand up and strip. Once nude he slides back in bed beckoning you to get under the covers with him. “We gotta be quiet but that won’t be a problem will it princess?” He asks as he snakes his hand up and down your body. You both face each other smiling softly at one another before your lips collide. You have memorized the way his lips taste, how they feel, and how he moves them. You love every second of it moaning softly once he starts to caress your breast. Nanami shifts down so he can put one in his mouth as he plays with the other breast making sure neither was neglected. You moan softly as he does and continues to switch back and forth. Soon he snakes a free hand down to your thong tugging on it before he practically rips it off of you.
 
 
“You’re taking me shopping tomorrow,~” you say between moans smiling softly as he grunts in agreement. Soon he's feverishly kissing up and down your body.
 
 
“Of course, I’ll take you out to go shopping tomorrow. Lay on your back, my love. I love to see you melt underneath me,” Nanami commands letting go of you so you can do so. Once you’re on your back he hovers over your love spot. He spreads your legs apart propping them on his shoulders as he lays on his stomach. Nanami spreads your lips apart showing your glistening slick entrance gaping from arousal. “So hungry to be stuffed hmm?~” He teases looking up at you smirking deviously.
 
 
“Yes daddy please eat me out then fuck me till I can't speak,~” you beg as even his touch is driving you crazy. Not being touched after sucking Toji’s dick was like torture and they both knew that. Nanami chuckles before licking slowly between your folds and sucking on your lips. You buck your hips wanting more of him which makes him lift his head up.
 
 
“Patience princess,~” He coos before going back to eat you out slowly drawing out each lick and suck. You moan loudly as your clit begins to throb he chuckled at you as you bite your lip remembering to be quiet. Soon after getting tired of torturing you, he sucks on your clit slowly making you almost bite your own lip off. Your stomach starts to tense up and your legs tremble as you start to cum showering Nanami’s face in your juices. He licks his lips and slightly his chin before fully sitting up. “Spread those legs beautiful,” he commands as he crawls back on top of you. You do so and suddenly he swipes his swollen head against your entrance. Groaning softly he slowly thrusts into you inch by inch before picking up the speed holding your legs now. “Your pussy is so tight princess, fuck,~” Nanami whispers into your feet making your toes curl. He starts slamming into you stretching you and demolishing your walls what’s crazy is his full length wasn’t fully in you. You grab at the sheets trying not to lose your grip but fuck he’s killing you. Nanami chuckles softly before putting your legs on his shoulders and rolling so you're more on your upper back. With your ass, slightly in the air, he holds your legs to support himself as he’s somewhat planking on top of you. Your toes point towards the headboard as he slams into you slowly basically drilling down into you. Nanami has reached a deeper part of you plowing your cervix. As he does so he groans softly bowing his head more and closing his eyes. The lewd sounds of your bodies colliding alone were loud so Toji had to turn on a T.V super loud downstairs shaking his head. As he does this you have been rendered speechless mouth open but nothing coming out as your cervix is getting demolished. You let out a soft moan as heat erupted in the lower half you truly didn’t even know where. You clench around his dick as you cum your legs shaking as you slowly crumble underneath him. “You are so beautiful princess,~” Nanami coos between deep guttural moms. Soon his thrust becomes sloppy as he slowly descends back to fucking you in missionary. He bites your neck softly as he grips onto your love handles slamming deep within you and making your back arch. Nanami curses softly in your ear then says your name as he paints your insides white. Hot cum coated your cervix, your walls, and spilled out of your pussy making you moan softly. Nanami bucks his hips a couple more times before pulling out fully and falling next to you. “You feel so good princess I’m addicted to your love and touch,~” Nanami confesses in a breathy tone.
 
 
You smile at him as you crawl on top of him now laying chest to chest. “I’m glad I could please you daddy, it was really good. I love when you fill me with your cum,~” you say in between kisses. "I love you, Ken my heart is yours," you say softly inches apart from him as you both touch foreheads holding hands.
 
 
'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'꘎♡━━━━━♡꘎'*•.¸♡ ♡¸.•*'
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶
Once again I hope you enjoyed this one and can’t wait to upload the next chapter! Also let me know how you guys like the little fluff and the smut in this one overall. I liked this chapter going on a little date with Toji likeeee. And for story purposes Megumi is like 5 or 6 right now. I’m so happy people on here actually like this story or smut it warms my heart. But, don’t forget to comment, leave feedback, leave a note, or anything truly. It’s all appreciated! ( v ω v)//
© ™TINYPROPHETT
[Please don't copy or plagiarize my work thank you. I don't own any rights to JJK and all photos are from pintrest or here I'll try to tag people if I can]
⟿ Link for my AO3 lovers: {also it’s 24 chapters posted on here}
⟿ Credit for the inspiration for the Chapter:
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ghosts-cyphera · 6 months
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I have so many ideas for ps!ghost that I'm struggling to know what to work on next. this is awful but also feels really good? but also awful because I feel like I'm drowning?? eek
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8rujaa · 1 month
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anytime The Suffering™️ stops i hate myself so much less. like no i wasn’t a useless stupid worthless idiot that couldn’t bring myself to finish a task, i was just being tortured with pain to a level normal people don’t experience everyday and extreme sensory issues and a million thoughts a second is all.
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pepprs · 9 months
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i literally need there to stop being situations circumstances events developments complications and happenstances. for the fucking love of god
#purrs#but there will never stop being any of those things so actually what i literally need is to learn HARD AND FAST how to stop getting so#fucking triggered over a situation i know is NOTHING so bad that im anxious for the entire rest of the day and can’t even get any work done.#like (jade from tesco voice) girls… im not gonna lie to you. i think therapy is not working. i think i am not mentally or emotionally strong#enough to work in this job and i think i am never going to get mentally or emotionally stronger. ive been stuck in the quicksand too long#and now im atrophying. i cannot develop the situational awareness and motor skills or awakeness (and i mean AWAKEness.) to safely and#consistently drive a car. i cannot develop the intellect and drive and courage to get an advanced degree or be in a leadership position that#everyone actually sees as a leadership position lmfao. and i cannot develop the emotional intelligence and inner peace to not get triggered#out of my fucking mind at work to the point where im having anxiety heart palpitations and fighting back tears. i am just stuck as i am#forever. and you know how i know that? BECAUSE IVE WORKED AT THE NATIONALLY RENOWNED CENTER FOR YOU-ARE-NOT-STUCK-AS-YOU-ARE-FOREVER FOR#FIVE FUCKING YEARS SINCE ITS LITERAL FOUNDING AND HELPED TO FOUND IT AND IM STILL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! i go back to square one EVERY#FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to tell other people who they are is what they bring and the world can change and whatever when i am#the fucking antithesis of that. when i don’t even believe my own words. like the way i want to punch out every window in this building rn i#HATE BEING LIKe this i hate being in the psychic prison of scared little girl mode all the time forever no matter what and being beyond help#and disappointing and burdening the people around me because i can’t be fucking normal about like. hierarchy and institutional politics LOL#delete later
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Nothing pisses me off more than when people talk about my friendships with mid-support needs autistics and other people with differently-wired brains as if I am descending to help them because I’ve taken them on as a charity case. That is NOT true. Oh they’re a burden because they’re neurodivergent? WELL GUESS FUCKING WHAT: SO AM I! THE REASON I HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS WITH SO MUCH SHIT WRONG WITH THEM IS BECAUSE I HAVE A LOT OF SHIT WRONG WITH ME. WE ATTRACT EACH OTHER! WE LIKE EACH OTHER! IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND!
#How about I just start strangling ableists from now on?#Would THAT convince them I’m actually this person’s real friend?#Literally nothing I say to them is able to get through their dense fucking skulls—#as if it’s sooooo hard for them to believe I actually enjoy their company#Also (halfway unrelated): if I hear “It takes a special person to work with special children” one more time I am going to SCREAM#Tell me I’m calm; tell me I’m patient; tell me I’m creative— do NOT tell me I’m “special” for doing a job I LOVE#Can you imagine telling a quantum physics major “It takes a special person to solve special math problems?”#😂💀 WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. I’m gonna start saying that to people from other professions. To see how they like it.#The children are not a burden to me; the children are very enjoyable to be around#and I enjoy troubleshooting what is preventing them from learning and coming up with workarounds for them#I made a glued roll of paper for a kid who constantly peels their skin because I saw them peeling crayons#It works!#I made math problems into a Skibidi Toilet role playing game for another kid who hides under tables when it’s time to work. It works!#You know why I was able to come up with either of these inventions? Huh? You wanna fucking know?#1.) I peel my lips and mouth and palms of my hands and calluses and cuticles and scabs; and#2.) I have awful executive dysfunction and have to do weird stuff to engage myself#People talk to me like I’m one of the “normal” ones; little do they know I’m getting assessed for ADHD and score 142 on the RAADS-R#and I essentially self-destruct when I get mad so I don’t break valuable items or punch through drywall and oak doors#I give myself bruises that swell a half inch high and form hematomas under the skin#I think I’ve permanently weakened the blood vessels and a vein in my right thigh from beating it so much#because it only takes one well-placed blow on my right; but several blows to my left#And I can see the bruise pooling towards my heart along the path of that vein from day to day after the initial beating#and sometimes it just randomly aches when it’s not injured; so I have to shift my weight when the kids sit in my lap wrong#so with that and something else I did to it not super recently that I should have gone to urgent care for… I probably have nerve damage lol#so it’s gross when people say such things about other NDs to me as if I am above them#Just fuck off already
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whumpshaped · 1 year
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cant stop thinking abt that reply to bram's post abt the abusive cluster b parents so just know if u were abused like that, first of all, samesies and it gave me cluster b pds as a result, second of all, i promise no one whos calling for understanding of cluster b ppl is invalidating ur experiences. if u feel like they ARE, i sincerely hope u realise u dont have to have a medical explanation for why others suck. if ur parents sucked, u can just say that, and its freeing, and focusing on behavioural patterns instead of diagnoses (which u most likely dont have access to when it comes to strangers) will allow u to weed out actual bad ppl and keep urself safe(er)
#i understand its easy and comfortable to latch onto labels especially when it comes to parents#i did it#then i was diagnosed w the same shit#that was my turning point i think#when i realised we have the same shit and yet i am actively working very hard to be kind and compassionate#i dont go out of my way to be mean#at some point u have to realise that some ppl r just evil and mean spirited#and pds arent indicative of how self aware or kind or polite or compassionate someone is#i'd argue most of us put in SO much work to know ourselves and our potentially harmful behavioural patterns#way more than a neurotypical who never bothered to look inward for even a second#'these stereotypes dont come from nothing'#no shit! my dad called me both borderline and narcissist as insults AND I TURNED OUT TO HAVE BOTH#but let me tell u smth#most of my symptoms? are fucking survival mechanisms i learned as a child to avoid getting hurt. because thats what the brain does.#u know what else didnt come from thin air? sayings like hurt people hurt people#plus my victim complex allows me to write banger complaint letters now so theres that#look around u and be very comfortable w the fact that ur probably surrounded by a bunch of cluster b ppl that u adore#bc we're just ppl too#and ur doing urself a disservice trying to spot us#cluster b ppl can be evil ppl just as neurotypicals but they can also be ur friend who struggles w insecurities and is a huge ppl pleaser#bc they read the ableist posts too and they know everyone in the mainstream world thinks theyre evil#and when if u told them 'well my cluster b parents were abusive' in a less accusatory tone#maybe theyd look u in the eye w compassion and say 'yea i know how that feels and im here for u'
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finexbright · 1 year
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barkingangelbaby · 3 months
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I feel like such a broken fucking person lol
I talked way too much in the tags don't read them
#fighting off the ideation like my life depends on it!! bc it does!!!#been good about not thinking certain phrases but F U C K am i feeling it. i want to turn into a pile of dust#i am so desperately trying to work on myself and change my patterns and bad habits and perspective but it feels like i always fall short#i try not to talk about it online but I'm just. having a very hard day with N because we experience our feelings in different ways#i isolate myself bc i struggle with regulating my reactions and tones when im having an episode but she needs me to talk through things and#i sometimes just. can't. bc I'm not done experiencing the negativity and am not in a place to have a productive convo bc shame spirals etc#we just spent a long time talking and being patient and i thought i was understanding and explaining myself well but i just. idk.#i don't know how to explain that of course i love her even if I'm isolating myself. of course i love her although I'm nonverbal today. i jus#t can't *make* myself talk when I'm like this i don't want to be nonverbal i don't want to isolate i don't want to be a distant partner i do#n't want to fall back into these patterns related to my grief i want to be better i am trying to be better i am working so fucking hard on#being better. i just feel so defeated bc this all spiraled from me not wanting to decide what to get for lunch n using a poor tone about it#I'm about to talk with her some more but I just. kinda don't want to exist right now. fuck dude. it feels so fucking awful when i upset her#like i love her so much she is so important to me and it breaks my heart that our entire day is shot bc i was tired and cranky#i just don't understand how that equates to me not loving her bc she is my whole world dude. I'm going to throw up#i also don't know how to explain to her that scrolling on tumblr is comfortable to me I'm not ignoring her it's just the SM that i scroll on#like we're hanging out watching tv together I'm gonna scroll a little bit. it's just not insta or anything#idk my mind is scrambled I'm crying I just want to be a better person who can calmly communicate my thoughts and emotions#today has just beat my fucking ass dude. i isolate so those feelings don't get translated into my interactions with others#i don't even know what i typed in these tags I just don't want to off myself or think about it I'm fighting myself so much 2day#rAMbles
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