#because I want people to be able to avoid them until the chapter drops

[amberlynnmurdock]

Blind Faith (Ch. 13)

Chapter Thirteen: The Devil Has Many Disguises

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: You take up Zach's offer to have dinner at his apartment.

WARNINGS: attempted assault, getting drugged, losing consciousness, side effects of drugs

A/N: PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION! This was a tough chapter to write because I didn't want to write anything too crazy but also not anything not-crazy... this was always in the plan/outline. PLEASE be aware of what you drink when you go out! It's a crazy world. I know this subject can be sensitive. I KNOW. I took this seriously in school and something I always thought was I wish Daredevil was real so sick people could get the justice they deserve! With that said, I hope you like this update, because I can't wait for the next one!

Tags at the end!

Ao3 Link

2 Corinthians 11:14-15 And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.

Office of Nelson & Murdock

Rain pattered softly against the windows of Nelson & Murdock. It was a quiet and calm day, completely opposite of what you felt inside. Inside, your heart was racing at the thought of your plans tonight, your mind felt like you were thinking a million different things at the same time, and in the pit of your stomach was an excitement you hadn’t felt since the beginning of summer. 

A week had gone by since the Bar dinner, and Zach was successful in his attempts to ask you out on a date—was it a date? Tonight, you were to go to his apartment just a little uptown to have dinner and discuss all things LSAT and law school. What really won you over was his genuineness, even over the phone. 

Gone was the slightly cocky, sure-of-himself lawyer you met at the dinner. Instead, Zach actually seemed shy and sweet on the phone. He blamed his attitude on the alcohol, which you’ll admit, you blamed yours on that as well. If you were comfortable enough to come to his apartment, he offered to have dinner there and show you his library of law school books and whatnot. 

“Excited for tonight?” Karen asked as she walked past your desk to drop off a few files for you to input into the system. She smiled and sat on the corner of your desk, pushing a strawberry blonde strand behind her ear. 

“I am,” you admitted, feeling your cheeks turn hot. You spoke in a low voice, so Matt or Foggy couldn’t hear. “I mean, a free fancy dinner and LSAT help? It really can’t get that much better for me right now.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a good time,” Karen said. “Text me, though, if you feel uncomfortable at all or if the date seems to be going wrong, or if he just grosses you out. I’ve had my fair share of dipping on dates early.”

You laughed, “Well, let’s hope it doesn’t go down like that.” 

Karen told you more about the files she dropped on your desk—most of them didn’t have to be put in until Monday, and instead you could use most of the day to read and learn them first. Foggy came out of his office, whooshing past you and Karen, and straight into Matt’s office.

Matt locked himself in his office all week, seemingly avoiding any small talk or conversations. He must’ve been busy with his cases—there were a lot more coming in this week—or so you thought. No, Matt’s mind was occupied with something else, something that’s been slowly eating at him since the Bar dinner last week. 

He sits in his office quietly, one earbud connected to his Orbit reader, the other trying not to eavesdrop on your conversation with Karen, but who was he kidding? He knows Zach has been reaching out to you the entire week, trying to invite you to his apartment for dinner… but something wasn’t right. Matt didn’t know what it was, but something didn’t feel right. 

So what did he do? What he does best—investigate that annoying, hard-to-ignore intuition. Earlier this week, he decided to pay a visit to Landman & Zack on his lunch break without telling anyone. Like clockwork, Zach’s been calling you right at 1:00 p.m. 

Matt was able to listen in from the third floor of Landman & Zack’s building, from the inside of a broom closet, all the way up to the 10th floor where Zach’s office was.

“Hello?” 

“Miss __,”

“Is this Zach?”

“It sure is,” he chuckled lightly over the phone. 

“How can I help you, Zach?” 

“Well, I—I haven’t stopped thinking of our meeting at the dinner last week. I was wondering if I could see you again.”

“You were, were you?”

“Yes,” Zach said, with a hint of impatience only Matt could hear. “I was.”

“Hmm.”

“I was serious about the LSAT help, but I was also thinking we could combine dinner with that, at my apartment uptown?”

“I’m not usually one to go to someone’s house on a first date.”

“None of that,” Zach shook his head. “I just want to help, that’s all. And treat you to dinner, of course.”

It wasn’t the way Matt could hear Zach tapping a pencil on his desk, or the way Matt knew the palms of his hands were sweaty that was off-putting, but it was the way Zach’s heart was beating when he spoke those last few lines to you—about wanting to help.

He was lying. 

And since that moment, Matt’s been contemplating what the right thing to do was. So, by locking himself in his office and avoiding your presence, he thought the answer would come to him—well, it was clear, but it was a matter of whether he should ignore it or not. He listens to you as you gush to Karen about your plans with Zach tonight. He doesn’t realize how tightly he’s clenching his jaw until Foggy walks into his office, seemingly picking up on what your plans are. 

“Hey man,” Foggy greets casually, “can we talk?” Matt leans forward on his desk as Foggy shuts his door. 

“What’s up?” Matt asks. 

“I didn’t want to ask to be weird, so I figured I’d come to you. Did—what happened at the Bar dinner last week? We sort of talked about it, but I don’t think I got the full scope,” Foggy explained, gesturing to you and Karen. 

Matt sighed and ran his hand over his cheek in annoyance. “We ran into an old colleague of ours,” Matt said with a forced smile, “Zachary Zack.”

“I gathered that, but—is—don’t tell me that asshole is coming onto her,” Foggy said. He runs his hand through his long blonde locks. “That guy got everything handed to him at that firm because of his father! And now, he thinks he can just cozy up to one of our employees and bribe her to leave us?”

“He’s not bribing her, Fog—he’s trying to win her over, see her—I don’t know,” Matt said exasperated. “You should’ve heard him at the party. He’s the same pompous asshole as he always was.”

“What, you mean like ask her out on a date?” Foggy asked with concern. “He asked her out, and that’s what she and Karen are talking about?” 

Matt nodded his head slowly. Hearing it said out loud caused Matt to feel an uncomfortable rush in his chest. He hands turned to fists as he took a deep breath. 

“He gave her his number at the party. I’m assuming she must’ve messaged him because he’s been calling her every day. Yesterday, he finally asked her to dinner at his apartment and to help her with the LSAT.” 

“Jesus…” Foggy sighed. “I mean, I don’t want to scare her or tell her what to do, but Zack was bad news back then. I wouldn’t want him to hurt her or take advantage—what’s his intention?”

“I don’t know,” Matt said cooly. “But I do know he lied to her about wanting to help.”

“Lied—how do you know?”

Matt sighed and took off his dark red glasses. 

“The other day, I took my lunch and decided to go to Landman & Zack, right before I knew he would call her. I…listened to their conversation and could hear Zach’s heartbeat. He was lying, Foggy,” Matt whispered. “I don’t like that.” 

“What should we do?” Foggy asked. 

“Not we,” Matt shook his head. “What am I going to do.” 

“God Matt,” Foggy shook his head, “you really think it could be that serious?” 

“I don’t know,” Matt answered. “Just to make sure she’s safe, I’ll follow her. That’s all. If he seems fine, then I’ll leave. Maybe his heartbeat was a product of nerves asking her.”

“Maybe,” Foggy said. “Well, be careful. And make sure she’s safe.”

Matt nodded as Foggy left the room. He sat there for a moment, thoughts swimming in his head—he thought of the last night you banished him from his life, as the man in the mask, as Daredevil, as your savior. He thought of the very first night he ever met you, the first night you shared on your rooftop. This wasn’t about his feelings for you anymore, or his heartache, or yours—it was about making sure you were safe. 

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓

Entering the last case in the system, you nervously watched as the clock finally struck 5:00 p.m. Karen was gathering her bags and jacket and Foggy was almost halfway out the door. He stopped in Matt’s office for something and then wished you a good weekend, and to be safe. 

“You too, Fog,” you smiled. He looked at you with a soft expression before heading out. Karen walked by your desk to wish the same thing. 

“Let me know how it goes,” she said quietly. “Great job today, by the way.”

“Thank you,” you blushed. “Have a good weekend!” 

She said goodbye to Matt and shut the door quietly. You finished typing your last sentence before you began to pack your own things up. 

Zach said to come by his apartment anytime after work, so you weren’t going to put pressure on yourself to get ready in a rush. Though, you did want to get there at around eight o’clock. 

As you were about to head out, you noticed Matt was still sitting at his desk, hunched over a pile of papers, running his fingers over the braille. He was so concentrated, you weren’t sure if you should slip out or wish him a good weekend. He may have felt your presence, you weren’t sure, but he looked up behind his dark red glasses as you stood in the doorway. 

“Heading out?” Matt asked. 

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Just wanted to say goodbye and have a good weekend. Got any plans?” 

Matt chuckled a little as if to say, me, plans? 

“Not really,” Matt answered. “Think I’ll take this weekend to relax, maybe catch up on work.”

“You’re always working,” you smiled and spoke softly. “Why don’t you take a break and actually relax?” 

“I take a break, the cases pile up even more,” Matt said. “Do you have any plans?” 

“Not much going on. I am—I’m going to have dinner with that old colleague of yours, Zach?” You told Matt. “Took him up on his offer to help me with studying. He’s making dinner, too.”

“Hm,” Matt replied, “that’s good. A date?”

“I’m not sure,” you laughed nervously. Telling Matt these things treaded weird territory, but you felt comfortable enough to talk to him like this. You remembered that night outside of Josie’s when you confided in him about your savior. “What was he like? When you worked with him, I mean. How was he?”

Matt shifted in his seat. You wanted to say never mind, but then he started to speak. 

“He was… loud.”

“Don’t hold back now,” you smirked. 

“He was a little pretentious. I don’t know if you know, but his father is the elder Zack. I never worked that closely with him, but everyone knew who he was.”

“Hm,” you answered thoughtfully, “why did you and Foggy leave?”

“We didn’t agree with how they ran their firm,” Matt said. 

“Interesting,” you replied. “Well, I guess I’ll let you know if he’s still pretentious.”

“I’m sure not much has changed,” Matt laughed, “But I hope it goes well. I really, really do.”

With that, you smiled once more at Matt, before leaving him alone in his office. 

⠋⠁⠊⠞⠓ Uptown 8 PM 

Zach’s apartment was a little bit uptown, but not much. Just like you were stunned at the venue of the Bar dinner, your reaction to his apartment was no different. On the 12th floor, his apartment had a beautiful view of Manhattan, especially at night—the building lights twinkled as you looked out his giant living room windows. He had an open floor plan, so when you first walked in you basically saw almost all of his apartment. To the right was a kitchen with a white marble countertop, and to the left was a small dining room with the same countertop. In front was the large living room, and beautiful large windows. 

He was in his kitchen, keeping an eye on the linguine he was boiling. That and the shrimp in the pan smelled delicious. 

“Like the view?” He called from the kitchen. Separating you was his large living space, with a tan suede moon crescent-shaped couch. The ceiling had a diamond chandelier and a glass coffee table. You were happy you opted to wear a white silk shirt and matching skirt. For some reason, you had a feeling his apartment would be minimalistic and classy. 

“I do,” you answered, “but nothing I haven’t seen before.” 

He laughed as he stirred the pasta. “Guess the view of the city all depends on where you stand. Wait til I show you my library.” You looked at him—he wore a white button-down shirt and khakis. His blonde hair looked more warm in the lighting. 

“The library,” you repeated. “Where all your law books are?”

“And even more,” he smiled brightly—his chiseled smile caused goosebumps to form on your arms. “Do you want some chardonnay?” 

“Please,” you accepted his offer. He turned the stove on medium heat before grabbing a brand new bottle from his separate wine cellar. Bringing out two large wine glasses, you watched as he poured you the cold, golden liquid. 

“Say when,” he said, catching your eyes. Your heart leaped. 

“When,” you smiled. 

Zach raised his glass—you mirrored him as the wine glasses clinked. He held your gaze for a moment before you both took a sip of wine. It tasted sweet. You blushed and looked away. 

Suddenly, the pot on the stove overflowed. Zach immediately turned the stove down and took the lid off the pot, scratching the back of his head. 

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly, “I’m not much of a chef. Why don’t I show you the library now?” 

You laughed, sort of caught off guard by how he seemed unsure of himself. Taking another sip of wine, you nodded your head. 

He walked you down a narrow hallway in his apartment. At the end of the hall was a glass door, away from the view of the city. When Zach pressed a light switch on the wall, the room lit up a soft glow and your reaction was similar to the first time you saw the giant blue whale hanging in the middle of the Museum of Natural History. You were in awe.

“The rest of the collection is at my dad’s,” Zach laughed as he watched you gape in the room. Against each wall were bookshelves lined with the most beautiful leather-bound books. Between blank spaces were the scales of justice, or a mini statue of lady justice. At the front of the room was a long mahogany desk with two lamps on either side and a quill and ink bottle for style. You gravitated towards it, running your fingers over the smooth wood. 

“Where are the LSAT books? Could we take a look?”

“When dinner’s over and we have some more drinks in us,” Zach smiled. Part of your heart fell from disappointment, but it made sense to not rush into what you came here for. Plus, you were really hungry. And this wine was delicious. 

By the time you made it back to the kitchen, you finished your wine. You took a seat in a golden chair at the marble table and looked at this side of the room. There was a long mirror against the wall and some house plants in each corner. Zach wasn’t much for decorating, you could tell. 

With his back to you in the kitchen, Zach poured you another glass of chardonnay. He brought you your glass before he went back and prepared two plates of shrimp linguine. You drank from the wine glass and started to feel that familiar buzz wine gave you. 

“Dinner’s served,” Zach smiled as he sat in the seat next to you. It smelled delicious—you wasted no time twisting your fork in the pasta and taking your first bite with a small piece of shrimp. 

“This is amazing,” you breathed, “wow.” 

“Thank you,” Zach nodded, “it's a recipe from my grandmother. It goes perfectly with the chardonnay.”

“It really does,” you said, taking another sip of the wine. “I’m actually not much of a wine drinker, but I do enjoy it occasionally with dinner.”

“I love it,” Zach smiled. 

“So, I have a question,” you began. “What was it like working with my bosses?”

“Nelson and Murdock?” Zach questioned, “I didn’t work with them that closely. They weren’t even there that long. To be honest, they seemed a little too soft for this field.”

“Woah,” you said in defense, “these are my bosses you’re talking about—be careful, Zack,” you squinted your eyes playfully. Zach shrugged his shoulders, seemingly serious about what he was saying. 

“Being a lawyer isn’t all about justice. I learned that the hard way,” Zach said, “it’s more than just lady justice and good vs. evil. It’s a business. You’ll learn that in law school.”

You didn’t agree with what he said. The whole point of the justice system was to serve justice—it’s not all business and it’s not all money. 

“Maybe it’s business for Landman & Zack, but not for Nelson & Murdock,” you gently argued. 

“That’s why our building is on Fifth Ave and yours is off a corner in the Kitchen,” he said rather smugly. Not wanting to push the matter further—clearly, there was some weird tension between Zach and your bosses--you smiled and took another bite of linguine. 

After your next sip of wine, you placed the glass next to your plate, and there was something unsettling about the way the liquid splashed on the glass. You watched curiously as if in slow motion, as the cold wine splashed outside the wine glass and on the back of your hand. You felt an inclination to react, but you sat there, staring in confusion. 

“You okay?” You heard Zach’s voice, which strangely sounded muffled. Were you drunk already, after only one and a half glasses in? You knew wine could have this effect on you—your wine drunk was different from your tequila drunk—but why were you such a lightweight tonight? 

“Yeah,” you said or tried to say—your voice felt like it was a thousand miles away from you, and you were still staring at the glass and your hand covered in the sweet, sticky liquid. Did you even hear your voice? Were you going deaf? Where did this loud ringing sound come from? 

You watched as Zach dabbed your hand with a napkin. You flinched at his touch and tried to bring your hand close to you, but it felt like it weighed a ton. You couldn’t move it. It was like when your arm fell asleep from sleeping on it wrong—not even a pinch you could feel. Your eyes fell to your shrimp linguine, which suddenly was nauseating to look at, even smell. The linguine noodles looked like a bowl of just yellow, with a few orange dots that tried to be shrimp. You shut your eyes, blinked really hard, and opened them to feel even more dizzy. 

“Something’s not right,” you said weakly, so softly you weren’t even sure Zach heard you. Your tongue felt thick. Your heart started to pound, no, hammer in your chest—not a rapid beat from adrenaline, but an agonizingly slow and steady beat—you could hear it in your ears, your pulse, like a hammer was hitting your chest from the inside, telling you that something wasn’t right. An impending feeling of fear washed over you like an ice-cold wave, but at the same time, everything started to feel too hot. 

“Let’s lay you down,” Zach’s muffled voice said. You tried to get up from the seat but even that was too difficult. You could barely hold onto the armchairs. Zach expertly got up and pulled your seat out, lifting you from behind. You stood on your feet but nearly fell over the table. Your glass of wine spilled across the table, the glass shattering into pieces. “Let’s lay you down,” he says again.

“I don’t feel good,” you slurred. It was the strangest thing you’ve ever felt, a mix of terror and confusion. You were still wondering how you ended up so drunk, and why you suddenly felt a strong urge to go home. You could barely walk, let alone stand. Zach was practically dragging you to the long, suede couch. And you’re not sure if you tripped, but you flung onto the couch and landed on your side, feeling your whole body weigh you down like you were made of sand bags. Your heart was still hammering slowly in your chest, and you felt like you were sinking. Sinking into doom, into fear, into an abyss you couldn’t crawl out of. Sinking in a dream you couldn’t wake up from. 

The only way you could describe it was like being in the middle of a terrible, terrible nightmare—the worst you could think of—and just as things were about to get terrifying, just as whatever dream-maker had control over your dreams was going to commence the final act of doom, you think you will wake up to sweet relief and reality—except, the nightmare keeps going, and this is your reality. Tunnel vision now. You can barely see. 

“You said you wanted to lay down,” Zach appeared over your head now, his once-blue eyes now beady as he looked down at you. His fingers felt meaty as they forced you to look up at him. You furrowed your brows—I wanted to lay down? I asked?—you tried to wipe your hair out of your face but an unpleasant grip took your wrist and threw it above your head. You felt heavy, numb, powerless. 

“Shh,” Zach cooed in a sing-song voice, “it’s okay, you wanted this. Remember?” He’s leaning over you now, and you’re watching as he begins to unbutton your white shirt. 

You don’t remember. You don’t remember how you ended up on the couch, and his voice made you turn your face and push into the soft velvet cushion, away from him, an attempt to escape. An attempt to have any kind of control. To hide. 

And then suddenly, his body weight on top of you was gone, like an intense pressure on your chest immediately disappearing. 

You looked at the soft, suede, tan-colored couch. The sort of color that reminds you of old peeling wallpaper in a doctor’s office; uninviting, ugly, yellow and dry. Before, the color of this couch was ordinary—but with your cheek pressed against it and you lying on your side, you see the color for what it is. Boring, ugly, and something you absolutely hate to look at. And you want to hold onto anything familiar in your mind—a familiar feeling, a familiar image, but you can’t. You’re breathing heavily, and your eyes feel like they weigh a ton. You struggle to keep them open but now the room looks like it's spinning from the way you lie—like a washing machine. You see a figure in black moving around before black is simply all you see. 

Hell’s Kitchen 12 AM 

The first thing you wake up to is your uncontrollable shaking. It reminds you of a time when you were in middle school and you came down with the flu. You remembered being wrapped in a hoodie and sweatpants and socks, under thick blankets, and shivering like you were out in the cold. Your mom brought you chicken soup and your dad put on your favorite cartoon. There was a huge difference between then and now. You were shivering, but there wasn’t that familiar feeling of home. Only panic.

Your eyes shoot open and it takes you a moment to realize you’re not in a room you recognize—your eyes first land on dojo-type sliding doors, a soft glow coming behind them. You look around a little more, and there’s not much in the room except for a wooden armoire tucked in the corner and tiny windows in the front. Bright, neon lights shine through them before they disappear again. You shut your eyes once more. It’s then you realize you have an IV in your arm. A strange, tight pinch in the middle of your arm, on your most delicate skin. 

You shoot up in bed, shaking, and your head pounding. The bed you were in must be king-size, covered in dark silk sheets. Black or dark blue, you couldn’t tell. You’ve never slept in silk sheets before. At the edge of the bed are more folded blankets, and you immediately grab them, desperate for some more warmth. Throwing them over yourself, you immediately lay back down, cautious of the IV in your arm. Your teeth started to clatter. 

You’ve been wanting to avoid the only answer that brought you here. You didn’t even want to say his name, think of him, or that God-awful voice he used… 

Tears welled in your eyes—you can’t remember much other than that. You don’t remember how it happened, all you know now was you were in bed, with an IV in your arm. Tears streamed down your face, and the familiar hammering heartbeat started in your chest again. It wasn’t from terror, but sadness. You felt so incredibly sad, and you didn’t know why. Your whole body felt weak and cold. Your chest felt heavy. 

You jumped when you saw the dojo doors slide open slightly. Wiping your tears and holding your breath, you looked around nervously for a weapon to use against whoever stood behind the doors. 

You felt immense relief and confusion when you saw your savior step into the room—his room, you concluded. It had been months since you’d seen him, the lightness that filled your chest was telling you—that you missed him, so much. But what strange circumstances were you in now? 

“M-Mike?” God, even your voice was quivering and hard to mask. “What—you brought me here?” 

He was silent in his movements, his face half covered and in his usual black outfit. You were relieved it was him but confused all the same. Did he know where you were? How? Did he save you? 

Of course, he did. 

“Yes,” he said, slowly walking over to you. You flinched, for some reason, like second nature as he got closer. He stopped in his movements and held up his hands. “It’s me. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know,” you said in a shaky voice, pulling your knees to your chest. “I don’t know why I flinched.“

“It’s okay,” he said softly. “Can I sit next to you?”

“Yeah,” you answered weakly, more like a desperate plea. “Yes.” 

“Okay,” he nodded, and you scooted over a little to give him room. The bed dipped when he sat down. You stayed in your fetal position, shaking. You wanted to reach up and touch him, but you were all too weak. “How do you feel?” He asked, even though he knew the answer was obvious. 

“I can’t stop shaking like I have a fever,” you said. “My head is pounding. My throat is dry.”

“You do have a fever, but the IV is helping bring it down,” your savior explained softly. 

“Did you hook me up to it?”

He shook his head. “No. A friend did.” 

“Mike,” you whispered, “what happened to me?” Your voice cracked at your question, and your savior’s throat bobbed, like this was hard for him, too.

“Nothing happened to you,” he said softly. “I didn’t let him.” 

“Did he… I felt like everything was fine and then suddenly I couldn’t walk. Did he slip my drink something?” 

Your savior didn’t speak, he only nodded. “You’re experiencing the side effects now. It’ll be in your system for 12 hours, but the IV is flushing it out.”

“Oh my, God,” you cried, “oh my, God,” you cried into his silk pillow, feeling something tighten in your chest. You felt his warm hand on your shoulder, caressing your skin. You sobbed, hiccuping cries, and your savior stayed there, holding your arm. 

“__,” he said your name after your cries softened. “You’re with me.” 

You opened your eyes and wiped your tears, looking at your savior. Slowly drawing his hand away from you, he reached behind the back of his head and pulled his black mask loose. With his head down, he slowly drew it back and off his face, and you swore you couldn’t tell if you believed who you saw or if the drug's side effects were still in your system because you were looking at Matt Murdock right in his hazel-brown eyes.

_____

TAGS:

@starry-night-20 @sumsytee @queerqueenlynn @mattmurdocksstarlight @marvelcinematiquniverse @hailey-murdock (please let me know if I missed you!)

#matt murdock #daredevil #charlie cox #marvel #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #blind faith #daredevil x reader #matt murdock imagine #marvel imagine #matt murdock fic #matt murdock fanfic #daredevil born again #foggy nelson #karen page

[d1xonss]

Desert Rose

Chapter 22 ~ Scars

✧ Pairing : Daryl Dixon x Rose

✧ Era : Season 2

✧ Word Count : 5.4k

⚠️ TW : Mentions of attempted suicide & SH scars

In this chapter ~ When Rick and Shane decide to take Randall away from their people to drop him and fend for himself, things seem to go wrong on the other end. Beth becomes suicidal after witnessing the death of her mother just days prior, leading Rose to comfort her in a time of need. However, the heaviness that followed was a lot more than she anticipated, though luckily for her, Daryl helps her pick up the pieces.

It had been about two days since they brought Randall back, and he eventually woke from his unconscious state. Since then the place had been chaotic.

The group was constantly going around and around in circles about what to do with this guy, so much so it gave me a pounding headache. Because most of the time the arguments wouldn't go anywhere. People would just repeat the same things that had already been said, causing us to feel stuck in the same place as no one really had a solution.

Until Rick just made the final decision to do what he wanted to since the beginning, take the man far away from the farm and drop him off on his own.

So now that the man was finally able to walk and balance decently on his own, Rick and Shane took a car to drive him out in the middle of nowhere, leaving the rest of us nervously waiting for their return. Everyone eventually seemed to agree with the plan despite the possibilities of him coming back, but it's not like we had much of a choice.

I for one was trying to keep myself busy all day, helping Lori with some laundry, staying to keep watch on top of the RV, I even made a run into town earlier that morning with Glenn. We had found a few different stores in a small part of town that had some useful things in them. But there was a little something else I found that I was extra excited about besides the food and supplies.

When we walked into the last store, I saw it. The perfect thing to give to Daryl. I had never gotten him something in return when he gave me my sketchbook and watercolors, but now I had something that I thought would suit him quite nicely. It was a black leather vest with stitched angel wings on the back.

In my mind, I hoped he would really like it and I had planned to give it to him later that night. Once we all knew Randall was taken care of.

Currently I was washing dishes with Maggie, occasionally talking about random things, trying to get our minds off of what was happening today. I could easily tell she hadn't stopped thinking about it since it happened either, the anxious feeling of the man somehow making his way back to her own home couldn't have been easy to deal with. But I had hope that everything would work out just fine and things would begin to move smoothly again.

She wordlessly handed me the last plate that was in the sink, water dripping off of the edges as I took the towel in my hands to dry it. She leaned her back up against the counter as she stared down at her shoes, the sound of me stacking the final plate in the cabinet brining her out of her thoughts as she glanced back up to me nervously.

"Can I talk to you about something... more serious?" she asked.

I only nodded my head as I listened, throwing the towel back down on the counter to give her my full attention as I copied her stance.

"Well, Glenn's been avoiding me lately, and he told me that when he was out there trying to fight those guys, he froze at one point. He was saying that since I told him I loved him... that's the reason he froze, and my dad had to save his life. He said he was afraid to die... thinking about how it would affect me." she finished almost a little shamefully.

My eyes widened a bit as I was a little thrown off and not expecting that, but I was still quick to respond and reassure her. "Listen, I know that it might not feel too great that he's avoiding you, but the truth is he loves you too. I don't think he should be avoiding you, I think he should be cherishing these moments he has with you, but y'know he's a guy." I pointed out, giving her a look she would be able to read.

She laughed quietly to herself as she nodded her head in silent understanding, "But he'll come around, I promise. You just gotta give him a little time." I finished.

She pressed her lips together and nodded gratefully, "Thank you." she said, "I feel like I can really talk to you ya know? I'm glad you're here."

I smiled, "Yeah, me too." I spoke, opening my mouth again before closing it back up quickly. My dumbass almost slipped up and said something about how I was glad that I stayed, but I bit my tongue before it could come out.

My eyes then absentmindedly panned over towards the tray of food that Maggie had set off to the side a few minutes ago, "Is this for Beth?" I asked, quickly changing the subject.

She followed my gaze and nodded, "Oh yeah, I was about to bring that up to her when we were done."

"Oh I got it, I was going to check on her soon anyways." I said, moving towards the counter.

She smiled gratefully, "Thank you. You know Beth really likes you. Ever since you taught her how to play those few songs on the guitar it's really all she can really talk about. I think seeing you would cheer her up."

"Yeah, I had fun teaching her, I'm sure she'll be ready to learn some more in no time." I reassured her.

Maggie nodded her head and I fully picked up the tray in my hands, walking out of the kitchen to head upstairs and into Beth's room. It seemed quieter than usual as I made my way up the familiar stairs, something seeming a little off. But I mostly blamed it on Rick and Shane's absence, still not here even after leaving early this morning.

For some reason the whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth, sensing something might go wrong out there, not necessarily with Randall. But with each other.

After what happened with the barn and the whole fight that came after that, the two had been at each other's throats ever since. It was way far off from how they used to act around each other, seeming more like brothers than friends. But something just clicked and now they almost acted like strangers. Though it was none of my business, I still noticed.

Pushing my thoughts aside, I made it up the long staircase and lingered by the closed door, knocking softly a few times before I entered. To my surprise, I heard her soft voice from the other side invite me in, causing me to open the door as best as I could with the tray still balanced in my hands.

"Hey hon, it's just me." I announced as I walked in, "I brought you something to eat, and to see how you were doing."

Her gaze panned over towards me, and my breath hitched slightly in the back of my throat. I knew that familiar look all too well. I tried to not let it affect me too much in case I was wrong, but I had a feeling I wasn't. She looked utterly broken and depressed, much more pale with bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep. She had just lost her mom, I came to find out that she was the walker Beth ran to after everything happened. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have felt worse for her after finding that out, now more than ever seeing her like this.

"You can just set it down here." she said, pointing over towards the side table next to her bed.

I did what she asked and stood there for a moment as she stared at the sandwich on the plate, "Do you want me to stay, or do you want some space."

"Some space. If that's okay?" she asked.

"Yeah of course," I said immediately, "Just...call if you need anything." I finished with a smile.

She barely gave me a noticeable nod before I turned on my heel to give her some time alone, but I couldn't just brush off the vibe I picked up. It again could be nothing, just being paranoid over something I was reading too much into. But in case I was right, I didn't just want to keep it to myself.

I ventured back down the stairs, peeking in the kitchen again to see if Maggie was around, but the room was empty by the time I got back. A sigh left my lips as I turned back around to try and find her, but I managed to spot Lori entering the house right as I was about to come down the hall.

"Oh hey, Lori?" I called out as I approached her.

She turned towards me with a small smile, hanging up her jacket, "Hey, what's up?" she asked.

My eyes glanced back up the stairs momentarily before turning back to her, slightly lowering my voice, "I just...I'm worried about Beth. She just seems a little off and I was going to find Maggie to let her know but-"

"I can tell her." she offered with a nod, "I'll keep an eye on her until she comes back."

"Yeah that would be great." I spoke gratefully, "She's just up in her room and wanted to be left alone... but I don't know I think Maggie should know."

"Absolutely." she agreed instantly, "I'll tell her the next time I see her, okay?"

I nodded, "Thanks." I said with a small smile, passing her as I moved to exit the house.

I felt a little bad not telling Maggie about it myself, but knowing someone else would keep an eye out for Beth gave me a little piece of mind. I didn't want to hover over her or pick up any overprotective instincts even though in the back of my mind I knew it was inevitable. I just wanted her to be okay.

The rest of the day passed by slowly, leaving nothing much to do around camp and everyone simply doing their own thing for the day. After not being able to find Maggie, looping around the farm a couple of times, I assumed she was back in the house at this point. So I took the much needed time to myself.

A few hours passed by with me just laying down in the yellow tent trying to relax as best as I could. Spending most of the time reading the book Daryl had stolen from me when he got hurt and it actually turned out to be pretty good, only drawing me more in with each chapter. The details were amazing and I loved the plot. I didn't plan on giving this back to him anytime soon.

I hadn't seen him for most of the day because he decided to go out hunting fairly early in the morning, leaving camp before the sun even rose. He offered for me to come with him, but I declined as I needed to go out on that run with Glenn to get some things for myself, and he understood. I just hoped he would be back soon along with Rick and Shane who continued to be gone for far too long.

Damn it was like everyone was missing today.

After closing in on the last chapter, I finally shut the book after what felt like forever, blinking my eyes a few times to adjust them. For hours I had been reading tiny words on these pages and I felt that it was time for a break. So, I placed the book back in my bag, standing to leave the tent and walked outside a little to stretch my legs, leaning from side to side as I was hunched over for many hours.

I glanced around the small camp to see who was around, before my eyes suddenly stopped on Carl sitting by the RV. He seemed distant as he glanced at the comic book sitting in his lap, barely reading over the pages as he sloppily flipped through them. A pain in my chest suddenly dispersed upon seeing him like this, knowing that he hadn't been the same since he witnessed Sophia coming out of that barn. But who could blame him?

He was grieving in his own way, separating himself from the others as much as he could for just some time alone to think. I hadn't had a proper conversation with him since that day everything went wrong, keeping my distance as that's what he seemed to wish for. But I shook my head as I began to walk over towards him, wanting to talk to him for the first time in what felt like too long.

"Hey kid." I greeted him.

He glanced up and gave me a slight smile, "Hey." he spoke as he closed the book to give me his attention.

I moved to take a seat next to him on the ground, "So, what're you reading? Tell me about it." I said.

His eyes lit up "Really?"

I chuckled a little, "Yeah, why not. Who's this?" I asked, pointing to some sort of superhero.

His excited demeanor never faltered as he went on to tell me everything that was happening in this comic book. Who all of the characters were, what their powers were, and what their mission was. This was one of the first times I had seen him get excited about something in what felt like forever, and it warmed my heart at just the sight. He began to slowly open up a little bit more the longer we talked, changing the subject a few times to talk about his favorite cartoons he used to watch before the outbreak.

I enjoyed watching him smile, it felt like it had been some time since it last happened, and I was just glad to distract him even if it was only for a few minutes. A kid his age should never have to go through half the shit that's he's been through, though he was tougher than I ever could've imagined.

After we finished talking for a while, I left him to read it in peace after that. I wanted him to have his space too, and I never wanted to overstep any boundaries, especially when it came time to grieve someone.

I found myself heading back into the house to grab something to eat afterwards, but as soon as I walked in, I jumped a little as I suddenly heard screaming from just up the stairs. I didn't hesitate for a second before I was rushing up the steps two at a time, jogging into Beth's room to see Maggie and Lori were yelling and banging on the bathroom door.

"Woah, woah, what's happening?" I asked.

Maggie's head whipped around to face me, "Beth...Beth tried to kill herself and now locked herself in the bathroom, I heard glass." she spoke quickly, continuing to pound on the door, pleading with Beth to listen.

Panic flooded through me. She tried to kill herself? And was now attempting again? I stood in the doorway frozen in shock as I felt as though I couldn't move a thing. But then my eyes quickly darted around the room, looking for something to get the door open. Lori had moved to search the room for the key, frantically looking through her drawers as fast as she could, but I spotted a metal rod sitting in the corner of the room. I didn't think twice about it as I stepped forward, picking it up in my hands before telling Maggie to move out of the way quickly and she jumped back.

Sticking the thing in between the lock and the wood, I pushed on it as hard as I could in an attempt to pry it open. There was a sudden crack after a few seconds before the wooden door suddenly flew open, revealing Beth standing there with her hand over her wrist, blood pouring out of it. Her head whipped over to us frantically as soon as she heard the door breaking, tears streaming down her face and her heart no doubt racing out of her chest.

"I'm sorry." she sobbed, and Maggie didn't waste anymore time as she went in to pull her close.

I ditched the metal rod in my hands, stepping inside the bathroom only to realize how severe the cut actually was. Blood was now running down her arm and onto the tile floor, the amount of pressure she was putting on it clearly wasn't enough. I quickly placed my hand on Maggie's shoulder to get her attention, gently pulling Beth out of her hold.

"Go get your dad, he's going to need to stitch this up." I said, trying to hide the panic in my tone.

But she caught it even though it was disguised, quickly nodding her head as she left right along with Lori to try and find Hershel as fast as possible. Beth looked up at me and opened her mouth to speak, but only a sob came out as she ducked her head, causing me to immediately shush her and bring her into a hug.

We all had different experiences with mental health, everything was dealt with differently, but I somewhat knew how she was feeling. I had been in her position not that long ago and seeing her standing there when I first opened the door, brought all the memories back, so fast it was like a tidal wave. The whole situation nearly knocked me off my goddamn feet.

After standing in place for a while as she sobbed into my arms, I slowly started to bring her back into her attached bedroom, sitting her down on the bed so she could try to relax and focus on her breathing as she put more pressure on the wound.

Hershel frantically came in soon after that with a needle and thread and started to stitch his daughter up as she cried. I stayed by her side the whole time, holding her hand to offer her some type of comfort I was able to give. Though it was heartbreaking hearing her cry, and even more heartbreaking seeing Hershel try to pull himself together as he worked. I tried to think over the right things to say to her when the time came, but I felt that there was no right thing to say. What could you say after something like this?

After Hershel was done he said he would talk to her later and soon left the room in a hurry to no doubt let a few tears fall, leaving Beth and I alone again. She slowly laid down on the mattress after he left, her cheeks still stained with tears as she tried to calm herself down, with me rubbing her back towards the end of the bed. The silence slowly becoming deafening.

"Are you mad at me too?" she suddenly asked. I could feel the pain in her voice.

I whipped my head to look at her, "Oh my God honey no, I'm not mad at all. And neither is Maggie or your dad, they just love you so much. Seeing you like this... it hurts them, you know?"

She sighed as she shook her head, "I just feel so alone in this, like they don't even understand. Nobody does." she muttered.

"You're not alone." I said with a shake of my head, "I can promise you that."

"How do you know?" she was quick to ask.

My breath caught in my throat as I thought back to my own experiences, so different, yet so similar to hers. I debated in my head for a long time in the dead silence, letting the seconds turn into minutes if I really wanted to do this. I had never dared to show anyone the things I kept only to myself, ashamed of what others might think if they caught a glimpse of them. It made me feel vulnerable, weak, and that was something that I hated, but I needed to show her that someone here understood what she was going through.

So with a heavy breath, I hesitantly lifted my shirt sleeves to reveal my deeper scars on my wrists, trying to ignore the twist in my stomach as the cold air hit my arms. Her eyes followed my movements, immediately seeing them and I watched her eyes get wider with each passing second.

"I know." I assured after the agonizing silence.

She shook her head in disbelief, "You-"

"Yeah." I interrupted her, almost like I didn't want to hear her say it.

"It was uh... at a really hard time in my life. I won't bore you with the details but someone in my life was making me feel worthless. He told me that so much I started to believe it myself, and I got really depressed. Eventually I thought that... doing this was my only option so I... tried. But I regretted it as soon as I saw the blood, kind of like you did. So I called for help and I... saved my own life that night."

She stared at me so intently, listening carefully to every word that came out of my mouth. I knew I could trust her to not say anything to anyone, just as she knew I wouldn't judge her for trying to do what she did. It was like a silent agreement that we had at that moment.

"Look, my point is I don't know exactly how you feel and I never will. But we were in the same boat you and me, we're fighters and I know you'll make it through this. You just proved that today when you stopped yourself." I said.

Her eyes refilled with tears as she looked at me with utter sadness, "I didn't realize...I'm so sorry Rose."

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, not wanting her to see me cry as I smiled sadly, "I'm sorry too." I whispered before bringing her into a hug.

She clung onto me tightly as the new fresh tears fell down her face, sobs erupting from her lungs. All the emotions mixed with the exhaustion was truly taking a toll on her body, but I was prepared to hold her for as long as she needed. Just like I wished someone had held me.

Once her cries quieted down after a few minutes, I spoke quietly to her, "I am always going to be here for you, okay? You're never alone in this. Never." I assured as I held her tighter.

"Okay." she whispered, hiccups building in the back of her throat.

Although I couldn't see her face as she spoke, I knew now that she believed me, and knew that I wasn't going anywhere. Hell, I would be at her beck and call always if that meant saving her life. I somehow knew then that everything would be okay, maybe not at first but it would be. Beth was strong and I could see that so clearly, even if she couldn't see it yet herself, she was going to be okay.

After I knew for sure she was okay for the night, her assuring me multiple times, I said my goodbyes and walked out to send Hershel back in the room to talk to her. Nothing could've probably prepared him for the things that man had to do today, but I just couldn't get over the look on his face. It was like he had seen a ghost when he first burst into the room, and it was devastating.

After I walked out of her bedroom, I found him just sitting a few feet away outside, telling him he was good to head in, but before I could walk away he caught my arm to stop me.

"Thank you for...comforting her at a time like this. I just... I don't know what to say to her once I go in there. But just know I appreciate you Rose, thank you so much." he said with visible tears in his eyes.

I took his hand off my arm, squeezing it tightly, "Just be there for her, okay? Let her do the talking first. And it's no problem, I care about all of you so much."

He nodded and then suddenly did something I didn't expect, he hugged me. I sighed to myself before I was soon hugging him back for a few moments before letting him go after a few short seconds so he could talk to Beth. After watching him go, shutting the door behind him to leave only a crack, I made a beeline down the stairs and out of the house. I practically jogged all the way back to the tent, tears threatening to fall from my eyes as I desperately tried to keep myself together. But the moment I zipped up the entrance, finding myself completely alone, I let it all out.

Seeing Beth like that was too much for me, but I wouldn't dare let her know that. She needed me and I was going to be there for her, however it just brought back painful memories from my past that I so desperately tried to avoid. I just sat there and cried quietly as I hugged my arms around my middle from the slight chill in the night. Rethinking everything that had happened today, I couldn't help but wonder how it could've been different if I had just stayed inside that damn house. How I could've prevented something from happening if I had tracked down Maggie myself. Maybe things could've been different.

But suddenly the zipper of the tent was being opened quickly, and Daryl was making his way inside as he finally returned from his hunt. I quickly looked away from him while frantically wiping my eyes, knowing he hadn't heard me crying, not even noticing I was in here at all at first from how silent I had been.

"Oh, hey." he greeted once his eyes raised from his boots, "I was bout to look for-" he then stopped himself noticing immediately the state that I was in, "Rose? Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, coming to kneel in front of me.

I tried to pull myself together, "Nothing, I'm okay." I said as I looked to the side, basically anywhere but his face.

I couldn't look at him, I just knew I would break down if I did. I could already feel the new tears building up in my eyes as I felt him gently take my hand in his and rub the back of it lightly with his thumb.

"Talk to me." he said in a soft voice.

I didn't say anything. I didn't even know where to start, today had just been painfully long and all I wanted was to go to sleep so it would be finally over. It seemed like we couldn't catch a break. And as if it couldn't get any worse, I saw out of the corner of my eye Daryl's eyes were staring down at my wrist as he still held my hand in his. I froze with widened eyes and suddenly didn't know what to do, I couldn't move.

"Rose." he said softly while looking at the scar, moving to take my opposite hand to see the other. But I quickly pulled both hands away from his grasp so he couldn't get a better look.

"Damn it." I cursed silently as I pulled my sleeves back down harshly, wiping my eyes with them as I tried desperately not to look him in the eye. I didn't know what I wanted, for him to leave or stay, when all I could feel now was just utter embarrassment.

He made no sudden movements for what felt like years, until I felt his finger and thumb gripping my chin gently to lift my head to look at him. His thumb rubbed softly on my chin as I finally brought myself to look into his blue eyes.

"Talk to me." he repeated.

That's when the sudden floodgate broke loose, my tears only falling more freely than they did before. I couldn't stop them, there was just so many emotions I was feeling about everything, and I couldn't get all of it out before he came back, so now he was witnessing it firsthand. I felt mortified about crying so much lately, it seemed like all I was able to do, like it was all I was good for these days.

His hands then moved to my cheeks when it began to be too much, his thumbs gently wiping my fresh tears away. He leaned in close to place a soft kiss on my forehead, waiting patiently for me to start talking whenever I was ready. And I did.

I told him what happened with Beth and how she tried to end her life. I ranted about how I should've been there sooner and not just sitting in the tent all damn day, but I didn't know. I should've known, the feeling I had alone was a good enough reason to stay close, but I truly didn't know. Regrettably I also when on to explain my situation as well, seeing as I couldn't really avoid it because of what he barely saw through the darkness.

I told him almost every bit of the conversation I had with her, though it made me the most uncomfortable, I didn't want her to believe she was alone in this. Informing him also that seeing her like that brought back too many memories for me and that's why I had been crying in the first place...and then we sat there. There was just silence. He didn't try to talk one time. He just listened.

After seeing that I was done, not having anything else to say, he finally broke the silence, "Yer one of the greatest people to walk on this earth, ya know that?" he asked.

I was slightly taken aback at what he said, a scoff leaving my lips as I shook my head, "Believe me I'm far from that." I responded, no longer looking at him.

"Look at me." he said softly.

I slowly tore my eyes away from my hands and met his again, almost burning under his gaze. I almost couldn't believe how much I was cowering away from someone I truly trusted, but then again this conversation was one that I didn't want to be having with anyone.

"What ya did for Beth, bein there for her, that's the best thing you can do for her. And showin her she isn't alone through all this, it's amazin what ya did for her today...now about you..." he trailed off, looking back down at my hands sitting in my lap.

He then gently grabbed both of them and slowly rolled both of my sleeves all the way up to the middle of my arm. I tensed when he did this and he noticed, but yet he didn't stop. He raised my left wrist up to his lips, and began to leave soft kisses over every inch of the scar. Then moved to my right wrist and did the same exact thing, leaving goosebumps on my skin, but a warmth in my heart.

He held both of my hands tightly once he was done, looking back up at me as he spoke again, "Yer so strong, and ya never have to be ashamed of these. They're just marks on yer body to show that ya made it, even when things were really hard. I get yer ashamed of showin em, but you don't have to be. Not with me." he finished.

I stared at the man in front of me in awe. Nobody had ever spoken so beautifully about me like this before. Nobody had ever complimented the thing that I was the most insecure about. No one had ever kissed the places I had once hurt so badly. Nobody except him.

Tears built up back in my eyes, but this time for a completely different reason. I was quick to take my hands out of his, wrapping my arms around his shoulders to bring him into a hug as I felt I could finally breathe.

I heard what sounded like a sigh of relief come from him as he quickly wrapped his arms around me as well. Maybe he was worried about what he had said upset me, but it did quite the opposite. It made me relieved. Relieved that someone cared enough for me to not only see the good side of me but also the bad.

But with the way he spoke, and the way he was hugging me back so tightly, it almost made me question if he knew the feeling as well. The feeling of being ashamed or insecure because of something marking you from your past. And maybe he did. But I wasn't going to ask. I would wait until he felt comfortable enough to tell me, like he did for me just moments ago.

~ Thanks for reading!

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl x reader #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon x oc #daryl dixon twd #daryl dixon the walking dead #daryl fanfiction #the walking dead fanfiction #the walking dead daryl #the walking dead #twd daryl dixon #twd fanfiction #twd daryl #twd #norman reedus x reader #norman reedus #norman reedus fanfiction #desert rose #daryl twd #daryl dixon x original character #daryl dixon x female reader #daryl dixon fanfic #daryl dixion x reader

[notinthislife50]

Chapter 5

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Face the Music

You heard the light knock on your door and off you went with Bucky trying everything in your power not to run away. He could sense your hesitation and reached out to touch your arm making you jump. He pulled back and all you could mutter was a sorry.

As you approached the meeting room you could hear all the talking and questions. That was when you did run out of courage. You felt your breath becoming rapid and then the room span before you. Next you knew, you were on a couch with Bucky and Steve beside you and the avengers standing around the room. You tried to jump up but Bucky and Steve held you in place. “Y/n your fine, just lie down for a minute.” After a while “So sleeping beauty what’s all this about” Tony asked. The eye rolls around the room were loud. You sat up but as Steve and Bucky were about to protest you nodded that it was okay. “Well I’m a super solider” you laughed stretching out your arms trying to cover the tension with comedy. Knowing you were failing but not knowing what else to do.   The room was silent so you continued,  you started to pull at your lip. “But not only that. After the defeat of the flag samshers and Siberia , I maybe now be the only female super solider.” Avoiding eye contact with anyone you continued,  your hands now dropping to your lap you played with your fingers and continued   “it’s why John claimed me, so to speak. I now maybe the only female that may be able to carry a super solider baby without dying, and plus I can kick ass.” Your nervous nature trying to lighten the mood again  and plus your mind telling you not to let these people feel sorry for you. You couldn’t even look at Bucky or at Steve, what would they think of you now..nothing more then a breeding machine. You continued lowly. “I’m also” you paused “I'm also not just that” you wanted to say the words you had said to Bucky but now with these many eyes on you you knew you were just a coward. A pathetic excuse of a super solider. As the team waited for you to continue, no one made a sound not ass cracking Tony.

“It’s okay, I’m here” Bucky whispered beside you “I could tell them if you want?” As you reluctantly reached for his hand you were scared he would pull away because of what you did earlier,  scared he would pull away cause you were a freak. But he didn’t. Instead he squeezed your hand back. “I have words” which was all you could manage. After a few seconds Tony spoke “Well done y/n but we all have words what words do you have. Is it words like, you can’t handle the truth or it’d just a flesh wound. We are going to need more princess” Before anyone could tear Tony a new one you had burst out laughing. Tears streaming down your face laughing. Everyone looked a bit concerned. “Never has anyone quoted Monty python to me. " As you controlled your breathing. “But no, more like winter solider words.” With that you heard a few gasps and a few people stepped back. And then you knew it was time for the real truth. You looked at Bucky and said “once I say this I will not be able to look anyone in the eye, not even you. I want to leave as soon as possible. Please tell me no one will stop me.” Bucky looked at you saying your name but you stopped him. “James I won’t say another word until I know I can go back to my room.” Bucky looked at Steve and they both nodded. “As soon as you say what you need you can leave.” “Alone” you frowned your eyebrow “Alone " they agreed.

you tried to even out your breathing,  then after one more deep breath you let it all out “As much as I was trained to fight, my words weren’t used to show my skills. They were more used for me to be submissive to John.” you stopped and tried to regain your composure “ He wanted an army of super solider babies and that’s what he had planned for me. And yes, I know I was with him for a long time I don’t want to go in to detail what happened and what didn’t. But finally when John finally thought I wasn’t a threat anymore and that I was  under his control he started to introduce me to his work colleagues. One of them being Coulson. He didn’t trust me at first but when he realised I wasn’t in this of my own free will, He recruited me so to speak. But me on some birth control and this is the part where I am going to leave.” you laughed awkwardly really needing to escape the room . “Wait” was a voice you heard, but whose, you didn’t care. “I’m going back to my room. You can do all the looks and comments behind my back as I have had enough of them to my face and no one will stop me walking out this door . " As you walked out you over heard a comment from Sam " but how do we know the words” You stopped in the door way and willed yourself to be confident you turned and looked face on at the team “only John knows these words,  he made sure of it once he claimed me and anyone else that knew he ended. So maybe Mr stark it may explain my nervousness and mistrust and hopefully you can understand it.” With that you walked back to your bedroom locked the door lying in your makeshift behind the door and broke down.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes / reader #james buchanan barnes #james buchanan bucky barnes #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #marvel x reader #marvel y/n

[thenovelartist]

Life After Destruction - Chapter 7 - Honkai: Star Rail

<Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter>

Month seven meant only one more month aboard the Astral Express before Stelle and Dan Heng would be dropped off at the Xianzhou Luofu. Stelle felt like things were happening so fast. The pressure to get everything in order this month, including finishing shopping for the nursery, was beginning to weigh on her.

However, there had been one minor roadblock to accomplishing that goal: Himeko and March practically begging her to wait with any form of shopping. Although Stelle supposed she would have a month on the Luofu to collect any remaining items she needed, she still wanted to get things in order now, as did Dan Heng. In the end, the two were so adamant in their request that she had to cave, and despite her repeated asks, they never told her the reason.

Until today.

“Surprise!” Asta and March said, waving excitedly at the obnoxiously large pile of gifts.

Surprise, indeed. To say Stelle’s jaw was on the floor was probably an understatement. Beside her, Dan Heng looked equally shocked. Probably because when Himeko said they needed to go to Herta Space Station to gather supplies, it never crossed either of their minds that this would be what she'd meant.

“Yeah, yeah, surprise,” Herta reluctantly agreed with all the minimal enthusiasm she could muster. To be fair to her, the fact Herta had even come down to greet them was a surprise in itself. “Now get all this garbage off my ship. It’s preventing me from seeing my curios.”

“Madam Herta,” Asta gently chided. “I know you don’t mean that. Didn’t you get them a gift, too?”

“I didn’t want to,” she snipped. “It was Screwllems’s stupid idea, and Ruan Mei just had to jump on board. But… I guess it’s not totally worthless. Because of this idiot—” Herta roughly pointed at Stelle— “I’m still able to do my studies and experiments in this galaxy. Although, she could have avoided getting knocked up.” With those biting words, she glared at Dan Heng.

Stelle chuckled nervously. Although Herta’s words said one thing, Stelle was fairly certain the only reason she was mad was because Stelle hadn’t been able to help test the Simulated Universe for far too long.

Dan Heng, for his part, simply ignored it. “So,” he began, looking over the mountain of gifts once again before turning to March and Asta. “Would you like to explain why there are so many gifts here?”

“It’s for a baby shower!” March explained. “Er… kind of.”

“You two are kind of famous, you know,” Asta elaborated. “So it was only natural that people would want to know that the galaxy’s savior was pregnant with her first child. These are all the congratulatory gifts from, well… everyone.”

Stelle looked over the tower again. This mountain was the galaxy’s well-wishes to her?

Her hand went up to rest on top of her growing stomach.

“Um.” From behind them, Arlan spoke up. “Would you like me to start organizing the transfer of these gifts to the Express?”

“Yes!” Herta cried. “Get them out of here. I’ve got more important things to do, like finding someone who doesn’t have a medical exemption from assisting with my tests of the Simulated Universe. I’m trying to get in contact with Nanook there since he’s long dead in the real world. Curious minds need to know his reasonings behind these wars.”

“You can have Caelus for your experiments,” Stelle offered.

Herta quirked a brow at her. “Who?”

“Wow, that’s mean,” March muttered under her breath.

“We’ve all done it,” Stelle flatly countered, trying to justify away the niggling guilt she felt. “It’s his turn. Think of it as a rite of passage.”

Dan Heng hummed. “If he wants the full experience of being a trailblazer, I suppose assisting Madam Herta is part of it.”

Despite being a doll, Herta’s eyes started gleaming. “Oh, so he is a new member? That would be useful to get a fresh perspective on the alterations to the Simulated Universe. You all have adapted well to it, which has been helpful in its own way, but that might have skewed an accurate perception of it.”

“He’s probably still with Himeko at the Express,” Dan Heng answered.

“Oh, perfect.” And with that, Herta shuffled past Arlan and out the door.

Asta cleared her throat to break the awkward atmosphere. “If you would please, Arlan. Moving all this will take a while.”

“G-got it,” he replied. “It’s preferable to being dragged around by Madam Herta. Just… don’t tell her I said that.”

“Where is this even going to go on the Express?” Stelle asked.

“Himeko said she’s figured that out already,” March dismissed. “So don’t worry about it.”

That was an impossible task. Especially as another question came to mind. “Where is all this going to go in the nursery?”

“Oh!” March’s eyes lit up. “So that’s the thing. When Himeko and I sent out the announcement, we kinda realized that you might end up with an excess of baby things. Himeko suggested they send things for the baby to grow into instead of just baby things. She promised that you guys could put all the things you wouldn’t need right away in storage.”

“Well,” Dan Heng said, nodding in approval, “that certainly is more practical, considering how many planets seemed to have been informed.”

“Yeah,” Asta agreed. “But they were all more than happy to send things along. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have all this.”

That was true. At that realization, Stelle felt quite honored.

Don’t cry, she mentally warned when she felt herself suddenly get emotional, an unfortunate side effect of her pregnancy. Suck it up. It’s fine. It’s just… really nice of everyone.

Soon enough, she was dabbing at her eyes.

“Please tell me those are happy tears,” Asta said, suddenly getting worried.

Dan Heng wrapped his arm around Stelle’s waist, and she allowed him to pull her close. “Yeah. I’m fine,” she said, leaning against Dan Heng's shoulder.

“Is it overwhelming?” Dan Heng quietly asked.

Stelle nodded. “But it’s really nice of everyone.”

“It… it really is,” Dan Heng agreed. “We’re going to have to thank everyone for their thoughtfulness.”

“I’ve got you covered,” Asta said, grabbing one of the boxes that was exceedingly plain. She took off the cardboard lid, showing a small booklet and a stack of cards and envelopes. “This is for you to record who gave you what. And then I got actual letters for you to send. Hopefully, that won’t be too overwhelming.”

“We’ll manage,” Dan Heng said. “Although… this will be quite the task.”

Stelle could not disagree in the slightest.

“I can help if you want,” March offered. “I don’t mind.”

“Thanks,” Stelle said, shooting her friend a smile. As kind as it was for her to offer, Stelle had the feeling she’d manage on her own. After all, she was getting quite bored staying still on the Express, her growing stomach getting in the way of being too adventurous. Writing a million cards might just be the cure for her boredom.

Or it would drive her insane. With her mood swings, who knew. Either way, it had to be better than helping Herta test the Simulated Universe…

Right?

~~~

Dan Heng had no idea how they managed to fit all the gifts in the Astral Express. Looking over the storage room that was practically overflowing, he was dreading the task of opening them. However, he would not complain. This was extremely generous of the galaxy at large, and he was appropriately thankful for their consideration. Furthermore, with all these gifts, it was likely he and Stelle wouldn’t have to go shopping for much more. That is, if they had to go shopping at all. While he wouldn’t have minded going shopping for the baby, he also couldn’t deny he would prefer if he didn’t have to. Shopping had never been his favorite thing, and one particular pre-Stelle shopping trip he’d been forced to take with March had spoiled that task for life.

“So,” Himeko began, approaching Dan Heng, “What do you think of the surprise? We wanted to organize a proper baby shower for Stelle, but that just wasn’t possible.”

“This is more than enough,” Dan Heng assured with a smile. “Thank you. It must have taken considerable effort on your part to organize this.”

“It did, but it was worth it. Hopefully, March and I did a good enough job communicating with everyone so you won’t get too many repeated items. You should be covered with a range of things up into their childhood years. Although, organizing certain toddler items does become more challenging when you don’t know if you’ll have a boy or a girl.”

“Stelle wanted to keep it a surprise. Otherwise, you would have known.”

“I know. And I also know you went along with her wishes to keep her happy." She then poked his shoulder. "Just remember you’re the father. You’re allowed to ask for things, too.”

“I know,” he returned. “But I couldn’t ask for anything more than what she’s given me. While I would have liked to know, just so I could be as prepared as possible, it ultimately doesn’t matter if we know ahead of time or not. I’ll be happy either way.”

Himeko’s smile was gentle. “Stelle’s very lucky to have you as her husband. And your child is going to be lucky to have you as a father.”

Bashful, Dan Heng turned back to look over the gifts. “I’ll… do my best.”

“Give yourself a little credit,” Himeko teased. “You deserve it.”

Unsure of what to say, Dan Heng simply nodded. He had plenty of doubts lingering in his mind over this, but he had to conquer them alone. And quickly, at that. The baby would be here before they knew it. While Dan Heng knew that everything about their life would change because of it, there was also only so much he could do to prepare. He would just have to adapt to everything else and hope he didn’t mess things up, for his child’s sake.

“Have you figured out names yet?” Himeko asked.

He nodded, thankful for the change in conversation. “Yes, we’ve settled on names for both genders.”

“Are you going to keep those a surprise, too?” Himeko lightly prodded.

“Yes,” Dan Heng said, giving her a slight smile. “But that was my idea to do so.”

“Haha. You two are certainly keeping everyone in suspense.”

Dan Heng shut the door to the storage room, blocking out the overwhelming sight of the mountainous stack of gifts for now. “On a different note,” he began, making his way back to the parlor. “I will be sitting this next mission out so as to help Stelle—”

“She warned me to not allow you to do that,” Himeko interrupted. “She said she could handle the presents and thank you cards on her own but that you should get out and about as much as possible before the baby is born. I agree with her. I doubt you’ll want to leave her side for a while after your baby arrives, so I don’t want you to get sick of the Astral Express too soon.”

Dan Heng sighed. Part of him figured this would happen. If it was just Himeko’s idea, he’d probably argue with her, but he wasn’t going to test Stelle. Her emotional state was growing more unstable with each passing month, so he didn't want to start needless fights with her. She was only doing this out of consideration for him, anyway. 

“It will be fine,” Himeko said. “You two can open the gifts together while we’re traveling. Then whoever stays behind with Stelle can help her write all the thank you notes. That is, if she wants the help in the first place. It’s quite obvious Stelle is growing plenty bored staying on the Express all the time. The letters will give her something to do.”

When Himeko put it that way, Dan Heng thought maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea to leave that job up to Stelle, after all.

“Besides,” Himeko continued. “I appreciate you teaching Caelus what you know before you disappear on us. Don’t say this to March, but between the two of you, you are the better teacher.”

Dan Heng smirked in amusement. “My lips are sealed.” Although, he did suppose Himeko had a point when it came to Caelus. He was a plenty capable person and well-trained, but he came with his own challenges and quirks. Stellaron Hunters did things very differently than the Nameless, so there was much to teach him as well as many tricks to learn from him.

And if Dan Heng were being honest, he enjoyed having a male companion compared to traveling with two girls all the time. Not that he didn’t adore said girls, especially since they were his wife and someone he thought of as a sister.

They entered the parlor to see Stelle still chatting with March, Asta, and Arlan. Upon spying Dan Heng, Stelle grinned, waving him to come over before motioning to a large box at her feet. “From the Space Station.”

“Though Arlan organized it,” Asta said, elbowing the young man.

Arlan chuckled sheepishly. “I hope you like it.”

“I’m sure we will,” Stelle said. “Thank you.”

“And don’t worry,” Arlan added on, shooting Asta a warning look. “I didn’t let Lady Asta spend any money on it. She went overboard with the clothes, anyway.”

“I did not,” Asta countered. “It was fine.”

“It was not fine,” Stelle said. “It’s just that no one can stop you when you start.”

Before Asta could come up with a retort, the door to the Astral Express opened, and a frazzled Caelus entered.

Upon seeing all eyes were on him, he started waving his hands about. “Let me get this straight: you’ve all helped Madam Herta with her little ��virtual reality’ experiment?”

Tempering a grin, Dan Heng nodded, noting that the others were all doing the same. He almost pitied Caelus. Almost. He’d suffered Madam Herta’s experiments enough over the years. It was Caelus’ turn to take up that torch. Besides, the more people who volunteered, the fewer times each person would have to assist.

“Like, once or twice?” Caelus tentatively inquired.

Stelle answered, “Sometimes, several times a week.”

“A week?” Caelus repeated, horrified.

“How’d you like it?” March teasingly prodded.

Caelus couldn’t answer right away, words clearly having failed him. Eventually, he just shook his head. “So many bugs.”

“Aww,” Stelle mockingly cooed. “You don’t even know the half of it.”

~~~

The pile of scrapped gift wrapping was growing astronomically fast, and the nursery was filling up with items almost as quickly. So far, there’d been a wide variety of things, from baby necessities to toddler clothing to a range of toys. Then there was the variety of wild card items ranging from medicine to information for the archives to weapons.

And then Stelle still wasn’t fully sure what that thing was over in the corner.

But even those odd items came with things like some diapers or children’s books, and each gift came with a letter of congratulations from the senders. Typically, they were from the government at large, but there were a few exceptions.

“Another from Belobog.”

Stelle took the gift Dan Heng offered her, the fourth one from Belobog. One from Bronya, who spoke on behalf of the country at large, then another from the Silvermane Guards. Wildfire even got her a gift.

As she looked over the plain brown box, her heart warmed upon seeing the still scratchy lettering that she recognized as Hook’s scrawl. To: Honorary Member and Little Honorary Member. From: The Moles. “They’re too sweet.”

“They are very kind," Dan Heng agreed. "I’m sure it wasn’t easy for them to scrape together the money to send that.”

That was true. Inter-astral mail wasn’t cheap. Even though she knew all the members of the Moles each had their own paying jobs now, it must have put quite the dent in their pockets.

Stelle opened the slightly battered box to reveal a jar of marbles, a teddy bear that looked handmade with a handful of clothes to go with it, and a torn, tattered book titled “Adventures of the Moles”. The longer she looked over the gifts, the more she recognized them, and soon enough, she began to feel overly emotional.

“I’m gonna yell at them for giving us these,” she whispered, her eyes growing watery.

“You should probably text them right away,” Dan Heng suggested, a gentle smile on his face while he soothingly stroked her hair.

“Yeah, probably.”

Dan Heng set the box carefully aside for her while Stelle pulled out her phone.

“I’m going to empty out the trash bin again,” Dan Heng said, standing from his seat. “And bring back the next round of gifts. Take your time.”

“Thanks,” she said, already tapping away at her phone.

Stelle: Hook! I just opened your gift!

Stelle: I love it. Thank you so much!

Stelle: Tell the others I said thanks, too.

Before Stelle could put her phone away, she saw little bubbles flash on the screen.

Hook: I’m glad! Do you like the teddy? I sewed it all by myself!

Hook: I asked the old witch to teach me how, and she said she would if I cleaned the clinic.

Hook: But she actually made me clean the clinic! (;° ロ°)

Stelle couldn’t help but chuckle. She could easily imagine the huffy pout Hook was wearing.

Stelle: It’s about time she made you keep your word. Natasha was too soft.

Hook: Honorary member! How dare you betray us!

Hook: Oh no she caught me

Stelle: Good luck with your punishment.

With a grin, Stelle put her phone down. Over the years, Hook had grown fond of the clinic. More often than not, Hook would volunteer a little of her time to help Natasha tidy the place up. Not exactly any of the “months” she’d ever promised, but Stelle supposed that development was enough to show just how much Hook had grown up.

While mustering the willpower to stand up and help Dan Heng pull some more presents into the nursery, her phone chimed. She looked over, expecting to see a message from Hook detailing how she escaped.

Natasha: Hey, Stelle. I’m sorry to bother you, but since you texted Hook, I thought you might be free for a moment. I have a question to ask of you.

Stelle: Of course. Shoot.

Natasha: Feel free to tell me I’m sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, but have you set up a birth plan yet?

Honestly, Stelle should have been expecting that from Natasha. If anything, she should have told Natasha her plans earlier.

Stelle: Yes. We’ve decided to go to the Xianzhou Luofu, which is Dan Heng’s home world. I believe I’ve told you about Bailu, correct? She was incredibly picky in recommending doctors to us.

Natasha: That’s good to hear you have people you trust. If you hadn’t, I was going to ask if I could help you in any way. Of course, if you need me for anything, I’ll help out as much as I can.

Stelle: Thank you. I promise I’ll contact you if I need anything.

Though it was reasonable to leave it at that, Stelle kinda wanted to keep the conversation going. Hence, she found herself typing out another message.

Stelle: Actually, I had been debating about coming to Belobog. I trust you as a doctor and would have felt the most comfortable with you, if I am being honest. But for other reasons, the Luofu is ultimately better.

Stelle: Sometimes I wish you could come, but I know you’re busy with the clinic. :)

Just as she finished, Dan Heng returned, his arms full of gifts once again.

Stelle put her phone down. “How many more do we have to go?”

Dan Heng dropped the tall stack. “With this, we’ve gotten through approximately two-thirds of the gifts.”

Stelle heaved a sigh. It had been a marathon, to say the least. She was growing tired of them, even though she was still incredibly thankful. Because of what they had received so far, the nursery was already stocked with everything they could need or want. Heck, they’d even gotten things they certainly didn’t need. At this point, she couldn't even fathom what other surprises there could possibly be.

Before Dan Heng could hand her the gift from the top of the pile, her phone dinged again.

Natasha: If you’d like, I can try to organize coming with you. I have two new assistants that could take over for a short period.

Natasha: I would have to double-check with some of the others, though, to make sure everything with Wildfire is running smoothly and that it would be okay.

Stelle blinked a few times at the message.

“Something happen?” Dan Heng asked, sitting down beside her again.

“Um…” Stelle pursed her lips as she glanced over to Dan Heng. “Natasha offered to come with us to be there for the birth of our baby.”

“Oh?”

Stelle nodded.

“Would you like that?”

“I mean… yeah.”

“But you’re hesitating.”

Stelle let her phone fall into her lap, giving Dan Heng her full attention. “Do you think Bailu would be okay with that? Or would that cause more problems? She said she’d already screened all the doctors there for us to meet. And I know Natasha said she’d be okay to leave for a bit, but we’ll be there for a month. Is it okay for her to leave for that long?”

Dan Heng paused in thought. “I wouldn’t worry about Bailu. Even though she did take time to recommend doctors to us, I doubt she would fault you for bringing a doctor you trust. As for if Natasha can take that time away from the clinic, I’d say tell her our plan and let her decide if she can accommodate us.”

“You think I should?” Stelle asked.

“I think you have the right to be comfortable with people you trust. And if they’re offering, I would accept. And... to be honest, I would be comfortable with Natasha, as well. For your sake."

Feeling more confident, Stelle picked up her phone again. "Bailu would be disappointed if she knew you didn't trust her judgment."

"I trust people you and I both know and have worked with. That's all."

Although he spoke them dismissively, she was happy to have her husband's full support. She leaned over to drop her head on his shoulder while she texted Natasha back.

Stelle: Are you sure that would be okay? About three weeks from now, we will head to the Luofu with plans on remaining there until the baby is born. By that time, I’ll only be eight months, so we’ll likely be there for a month or so. Is it possible for you to take all that time away from your clinic?

She sent off the message before dropping the phone back into her lap. 

Beside her, Dan Heng pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head before handing her another gift. 

"Was that encouagement to keep up this marathon?" she asked, feeling all fluttery from the tiny gesture. 

"Possibly."

"Possibly," she repeated, amused. Still, she sat up straight to open the gift, this one a box of children’s books and some unisex clothes. 

After recording the information in the booklet, Dan Heng took them to set aside just as her phone dinged again.

Natasha: So you’ll be spending the last month of your pregnancy there? That’s a wise idea. As for the length of duration on my account, things here should be fine between the two assistants that I’ve trained to handle the clinic here. Things have never run more smoothly. I’m sure I can disappear for a month or two. 

Natasha: Actually, Seele just came and told me to leave the affairs of Wildfire to her and Oleg. It seems I might be pushed to go with you in the end.

Stelle: If you’re able to, I would really like to have you around. 

Stelle: Take your time organizing things. We can come pick you up when it comes time and take you to the Luofu with us. I think you’d really like it.

Natasha: I would be going as your doctor first and foremost. But, when you put it that way, I guess that I would have a little free time to enjoy exploring a new place. That would be quite exciting. :D 

“I think it’s going to work out,” Stelle said, grinning as she looked over to Dan Heng.

He returned her smile with one of his own. “Then I’ll inform Bailu a little later once you two have sorted out more of the details.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“Well, while you’re continuing to communicate with her, would you like to switch tasks? I’ll open the next gifts and you record them?”

Stelle looked over the tower of gifts before her. Her stomach sank even further when she recalled there were still more in the storage area. “Yeah, gimme the notebook before I get sick of opening gifts forever.”

~~~

“And you’re certain you packed everything?” Dan Heng asked for the final time.

Stelle sighed, clearly getting tired of his constant questioning. Yet, he watched her silently count on her fingers as she looked over their luggage. “Pretty sure.”

“All the baby’s things that Natasha instructed us to pack?”

“That was the bag I packed first.”

He nodded, looking over the luggage one last time. He couldn’t shake this anxious feeling swirling through him, like he was forgetting something. Or maybe he was anxious because he was about to spend the next month with Stelle on the Xianzhou Luofu. This would be the longest period of time he’d spent away from the Express since first boarding. Furthermore, he wasn’t leaving for a mission but rather for a familial reason, which felt still extremely strange to him.

“Well, if you’re finished questioning me for the umpteenth time, are you ready to go?” Stelle asked.

Startled from his thoughts, he looked back up at her. “Y-yeah. I think so.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, but she was quick to shoot him a doubtful look. Worried that she was about to call his bluff, he reached for their luggage bags, ones the space station had gifted them for this very reason. “We should go,” he said. “The others put aside their expedition to make this trip specifically for us. I don’t want to keep them long.”

“I guess you’re right.” And with that, Stelle reached for her bag.

“Grab the baby’s bag,” Dan Heng instructed. “That’s all I’ll let you carry.”

She frowned up at him. “I can carry more.”

“You are carrying plenty.” He reached out to lay a hand on her stomach. “So don’t overexert yourself.”

“I’m fine, you know,” she quietly countered, placing her hand on top of his, a habit she'd picked up from whenever the baby was kicking and she pulled him close to feel it. At the moment, the baby was quiet. Maybe it too was feeling the stress of everything.

“I’d like to keep you that way.” With that, he leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.

“Hey.”

He couldn't help but grin at the little pout she shot him, his worries disappearing for a second. Reaching up to cradle her cheek, he angled her head towards him and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Better?”

She grinned. “Thank you. For that, I guess I’ll let you carry the bags.”

He huffed in amusement.

Soon enough, the duo made their way to the parlor, Stelle carrying the baby backpack while Dan Heng dragged one large, rolling suitcase behind him. It fit quite a bit of their clothes for the month, but the rest of their things were packed in the overlarge pack he wore on his back. For some reason, a slight chill haunted him as he marched down the hallway. It disturbed him, this odd feeling of finality that hung in the air, like an end was imminent. He tried to tell himself he would return here to the Astral Express and that things would be fine, but the sadness weighing on his heart was too heavy to entirely ignore.

“There they are,” Himeko spoke once Dan Heng and Stelle entered the parlor. “Are the both of you set?”

“I believe so,” Dan Heng answered, pushing aside his feelings for now and focusing on the present. Beside him, Stelle made a show of crossing her fingers.

“Then this is where we part ways.” Himeko was the first to reach out and pull Stelle in a hug. “We’ll miss you. We’ll be hoping for a safe delivery.”

“Thank you,” Stelle muttered in return.

March was up next. “It will be so weird not having you two around,” she said, clinging tight to Stelle.

“It’ll be weirder when we bring back a baby,” Stelle bantered back.

“That’s true. But I’ll take that weirdness any day if it means you two are back.”

Dan Heng felt a small sense of relief knowing that he wasn’t the only one feeling strange about this whole arrangement. Not that there was anything to be done about it; it was part of Stelle’s pregnancy. One would have thought Dan Heng would have gotten used to change by now, with the months Stelle’s pregnancy had already altered their lives in numerous ways, but this felt different. They’d always had the Astral Express and the Nameless by their side to help them through it. Now, they were temporarily heading out on their own.

A weight on his shoulder called him out of his thoughts, and Dan Heng looked over to Welt. “I wish you both a restful month before the baby arrives,” Welt said, giving Dan Heng’s shoulder an encouraging squeeze. “You two have earned it.”

“We’ll try,” Dan Heng responded.

“Don’t worry,” Caelus said, giving Dan Heng’s other shoulder a bump with his fist. “We’ll take care of everything around here.”

“I believe you will.” Dan Heng had seen how quickly Caelus had integrated into the Astral Express crew. He would manage on his own. Although, Dan Heng still had some reservations about Caelus and March running missions together. The combination of March’s friendly, somewhat naive personality paired with Caelus’ impulsive nature was doubtlessly going to wind the pair in trouble at some point.

Caelus then turned to Stelle, reaching an arm out towards her. “Take care.”

Stelle returned the side hug with a smile. Despite the amnesia between the two of them making their past a jumbled mishmash of memories, they’d grown close over the last couple of months. Maybe because of how similar they ultimately were. “Don’t get in trouble,” Stelle warned him.

“I promise… to do my best.”

“March,” Stelle said, turning to her friend. “If something goes wrong, remember: blame him.”

“Hey!”

March laughed. “You got it.”

Caelus leveled a glare at March. “Rude.”

Chuckling, March shot back a cheeky wink and peace sign.

While the duo went at it, Welt had sided up to Stelle. “Take care,” he told her, reaching up to rest a hand on her head. “I’ll be hoping you have an easy delivery.”

Grinning, she reached out to wrap her arms around his torso. “Thanks.”

He wrapped an arm over her shoulders, looking every bit like a proud grandfather-to-be.

“Stay safe,” Himeko said, now at Dan Heng’s side.

“We will,” he returned.

“And know that we’ll always be here if you need anything,” she continued.

“I wouldn’t want to bother you any more than we have.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Himeko easily dismissed. “You and Stelle have been travelers on the Express for so long that you’re the closest thing to family I have. I guarantee you that the others feel the same. So it’s no bother. Besides, we’ll all miss you and can’t wait for you to come back, baby and all.”

At her words, more of the chilly unease in Dan Heng’s stomach dissipated. Maybe that was what had him in such a frenzy: he was leaving this place he considered home behind, even if it was just for a bit. For someone who grew up with nothing only to be exiled when he was old enough, the last thing he wanted was to let go of every treasure he'd found, for it to disappear.

But it wouldn’t. It was only a temporary shift for the sake of Stelle and his child. And once the baby arrived, they would come back home, to where his—no, their family was waiting.

“Sorry, sorry!” A sudden newcomer burst into the parlor. “I overslept. Apologies if I kept everyone waiting.”

“You came right on time,” Himeko assured. “Although, I feel bad for having to wake you in the first place. You seemed quite comfortable.”

“I was,” Natasha guiltily admitted. “Seems I’ve been working too hard lately and not getting enough rest.”

“Well, I hope you are able to get some rest on the Luofu.”

“On the contrary, I fear I’ll be too excited to want to sleep. And considering I have the very rare pleasure of caring for a single patient, I’ll have plenty of time to study a different world. I won’t want to miss a minute.”

Dan Heng spoke up, “I’m sure Bailu would be happy to let you read her medical texts.”

At that, Natasha’s eyes lit up. “It would be wonderful if I could find new techniques or medicines to take back to Belobog.”

“With as much free time as you’ll have,” Stelle chimed in. “I’m sure you’ll find something.”

“I look forward to it.”

With one last round of goodbyes, Dan Heng, Stelle, and Natasha headed toward the train's exit. Only, before they disembarked, Dan Heng transformed into his vidyadhara figure. Which he realized too late that Natasha had never seen before.

"That is... quite the surprise," Natasha commented, accepting the shift with grace. "But, I guess it shouldn't be, Cold Dragon Young."

He sighed. "I am impressed you can remember such a fleeting name."

"Fleeting?" Natasha asked, a mischievous twinkle coming to her eye. "The children still call you that."

Dan Heng wasn't quite sure what to think of that. Stelle certainly found it amusing, though. 

When they disembarked the Express, they were immediately greeted by a surprisingly large welcoming party, the most notable two being a young vidyadhara and a not-so-fearsome Cloud Knight Commander.

“Dan Heng! Stelle!” Bailu was the first to run up to them, throwing her arms around Stelle. “Man, you’re huge.”

“Gee, thanks,” Stelle deadpanned, still patting Bailu on the head.

“It’s an observation, not an insult,” she quipped back. Her pout soon became a grin as she turned to Dan Heng and threw her arms around him. “Welcome back.”

Dan Heng returned the hug Bailu gave him, although he didn’t cling to her nearly as tight as she did him. “Good to see you, Bailu.”

Having properly greeted him and Stelle, Bailu then turned to Natasha. “Ah, are you the doctor that Stelle wanted to bring?”

“Yes. I’m Natasha. You must be Bailu.”

“That I am.”

“I’ve heard much about you.”

“You should have,” Bailu proudly piped up. “Dan Heng is basically my brother.”

“Play nice,” Dan Heng warned, patting Bailu on the head as he walked past her, dragging the luggage behind him.

“Fine,” she playfully bemoaned. “But only because you asked nicely.”

Leaving the girls behind to chat among themselves, Dan Heng approached a grinning Jing Yuan.

“I believe a hearty congratulations is in order,” the man warmly greeted.

“Thank you.” Over the years, Dan Heng had forged an odd sort of acquaintanceship with Jing Yuan. He was sure that Jing Yuan would never be able to fully forget Dan Heng’s past incarnation and the close friendship he’d shared with Dan Feng, yet Dan Heng could tell the commander had moved beyond that and saw him for the person he was in this life instead of the man he once had been.

“Come now, no need to be so modest. You’re the first vidyadhara to ever reproduce. You should be thrilled.”

“I am,” Dan Heng said. “I simply have other concerns on my mind at the moment. Such as how the general population has reacted to that fact."

Jing Yuan’s expression grew serious, which only made the pit of worry in Dan Heng’s stomach grow. “I apologize. I encouraged Lady Bailu to leak that news. I thought it would be for the better to stir the pot and see what bubbled up beforehand rather than you appearing with your pregnant wife unannounced.”

He sighed, a heaviness weighing on his heart. Maybe this was the other reason he was so afraid to leave the Express behind. Yes, he would miss his family, but here, there were threats to Stelle lurking just under the surface. And if anything happened to her or the baby…

Well, he feared he understood Dan Feng a little too well in moments like this.

“You aren’t one to make an impulsive decision like that without council,” Dan Heng said. “I’m assuming you contacted the head diviner before making that call.”

“I’m pleased to know you know me so well. Yes, I did. She also agreed with that plan, believing it gave us the best chance to monitor the population’s reaction and weed out any potential threats prior to your arrival.”

“Did it yield harvest?”

“It did,” Jing Yuan confirmed. “They are facing judgment for their scheming. Although, I would refrain from claiming we’ve eliminated all threats. While many vidyadhara have accepted you back into the fold, there are those who still hate you regardless. To be honest, the other reason we wished to leak the information beforehand was to ensure that it would be safe for you to come here in the first place. Had the population reacted poorly, I would have told Bailu to send you elsewhere. However, the general consensus is a positive one. Most of the vidyadhara are happy to learn of your ability to father a child. You are now a symbol of hope for their race, after all.”

For a moment, Dan Heng was silent. “I understand that Stelle’s pregnancy provides hope to the vidyadhara population at large, and I should have pride in the fact I’m able to contribute in such a way to my race. But…” He turned to look at Stelle, who was grinning as Bailu held her swollen belly with a look of awe. “That is the last thing on my mind.”

Jing Yuan hummed. “I suppose I can’t fault you for that. Ultimately, you are no different than any other excited father.”

Dan Heng turned back to Jing Yuan. “There is a vast difference between knowing you have a child to carry on the legacy of a race incapable of having children and knowing that you are blessed to have a child.”

With an approving grin, Jing Yuan dropped a hand on Dan Heng’s shoulder. “That child is lucky to have you as a father. I’m happy for you.”

Dan Heng nodded his thanks.

Jing Yuan then gave Dan Heng’s shoulder a squeeze. “I swear on my honor that I’ll do everything I can to keep you and Stelle safe. Beyond you two being the parents of the first vidyadhara to be born, you two are the saviors of the galaxy. And even beyond that… you, Dan Heng, are my friend.”

For a moment, words eluded him, so Dan Heng had to settle for reaching up to rest a hand on Jing Yuan’s shoulder. “Thank you… old friend.”

#honkai star rail #honkai fanfic #danstelle #fluff #married fluff

[shig-a-shig-ah]

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE ━ DEFINING THE RELATIONSHIP

» pairing: shigaraki tomura x fem!reader » story summary: working as a waitress in a villain bar means you meet all sorts of shady people. But when a random encounter piques your interest in a nameless stranger, a casual hookup turns into more than you bargained for. » chapter word count: 7.1k » read the full chapter on ao3

[ Excerpt ]

When you gave Kurogiri cash to clear the League out of your apartment, you knew better than to hope telling him to get everyone out of there fast would translate to getting them out of there immediately. Even so, you can't help feeling the slightest bit put upon when, later that same afternoon, you're climbing the stairs back up to your apartment after spending yet more money on your unwanted guests. Three thousand yen for soba noodles and cigarettes is a drop in the bucket compared to what you'd forked over only hours earlier, but it does somehow feel like a less worthwhile investment.

Perhaps that's why, despite not expecting any real updates, you can't help asking Kurogiri if there's any news as you hand off your grocery bag so he can start dinner. It's both a surprise and a relief when he nods.

"I still need to discuss it with Shigaraki Tomura, but Giran believes he has found an option for us." There's a slight hesitation before he adds, "He is unable to meet with us until morning, however."

"I'll take it," you sigh. You should have known better than to get your hopes up anyway. Even if you had, for half a second, let yourself daydream about sleeping blissfully alone tonight.

You're not going to complain about the delay, though—not when it sounds like the end is finally in sight. So, you just turn your attention elsewhere, digging into your pocket for the couple packs of American Spirits you'd begrudgingly bought Jin. He hadn't actually asked for them, but he's currently on your couch, fingers tapping anxiously against his thigh and eyes flicking restlessly towards your balcony, all of which supports your concerns about nicotine withdrawals.

Sure enough, he jumps to his feet almost immediately when you toss the packs his way. "Hey, thanks!" It's followed by, "I didn't ask you for nothing!"

You wince at the unnecessary volume with which he shouts both those statements but don't otherwise respond, because Jin's cigarettes weren't the only thing burning a hole in your pocket. Playing the lottery this close to home is generally something you avoid, but you hadn't been able to talk yourself out of it today—not after sacrificing half your life's savings to the very necessary cause of getting Japan's most wanted villains out of your apartment. You hadn't won big, exactly, but you do feel a little better knowing you're a tenth of the way to recouping that cash.

The plan is to slip into your room and deposit that tidy sum into the shoebox in your closet, too, but you barely manage to ease the door open before freezing. Because as it turns out, Tomura is no longer passed out on your bed but is, in fact, awake.

Awake, and half-naked.

"Oh." You blink at the sight of him, bare-chested with his fingers hovering at the waistband of his jeans as he looks at you. It's a scene so uncannily familiar that it's almost disorienting: how many times had you fallen a few steps behind him after getting back to your place, only to enter your bedroom and find him impatiently undressing?

Between the distraction of the League and your focus on the substantive parts of your relationship, you've barely thought about those more carnal foundations over the last several days. Now, though, your stomach is fluttering, your body ready to fall into that familiar script even as you grasp for an alternate explanation for what you've walked in on.

After another second your brain catches up, your eyes finally taking in all the signs that he wasn't actually waiting for you. His hair is damp, rivulets of water threading over his collarbone as he watches you from behind mussed clumps of pale hair, expression uncertain. You've clearly caught him fresh out of the shower.

"Sorry," you mutter, hesitating before stepping inside and closing the door. "No one told me you were up."

This shouldn't feel so awkward—you've seen each other naked dozens of times, let alone merely shirtless—but at this point it would probably be easier to count the things that don't feel awkward. That's especially true after yesterday; you haven't forgotten how close you'd come to kissing him.

You must not be the only one feeling the weight of that, either. Tomura grunts in response and looks away, quickly finishing doing up his jeans and digging a v-neck from a duffel bag at the foot of your bed. You grimace when he tugs it hastily over his head; the movement reveals dark bruises along his exposed ribs that you can only assume are the aftermath of his fight with the heroes.

He quickly pulls down the hem of his shirt when he catches you eyeing those injuries.

"Where'd you go?" he asks, looking you over with a guarded expression. Then he frowns. "And what happened to your hand?"

"Hmm?" You follow his gaze to your bandaged palm. You'd almost forgotten about it in your surprise, but now that you're not distracted by the unexpected cut of Tomura's form, you can once again feel that souvenir from Dabi throbbing.

You're hesitant to explain what actually happened. Tomura might not be as tightly wound as he was when the League first arrived, but you haven't forgotten how badly he took it when Dabi did nothing but insult you. The last thing you need is more in-fighting; between your ceiling and your front door, your place already has enough new scorch marks. You'd really like to get everyone out of here without any more hassle.

So, you just move to stash the cash you'd won. "Don't worry about it. And I went to the store—Kurogiri needed some things for dinner, and Jin needed cigarettes."

Tomura scoffs at that last part. "You didn't have to do that."

"I definitely did," you scoff right back. "You haven't been out there with them all day—they're all already restless. The last thing I need is one more reason for anyone to be on edge."

"Right." You don't miss the way his gaze drops back to your hand as he says it. "Add it to what we owe you, then—we'll have to find a way to bring in some cash soon anyway. Won't get very far towards our goals without it." He pauses. Rubs at his neck and grumbles, "We just need to figure out a safe house first."

"Kurogiri wanted to talk to you about that, actually."

It's almost impressive how quickly his demeanor shifts—his fingers go still at his throat and his eyes narrow, expression flattening into something decidedly more business-like. That intent look sparks a twist in your stomach as he moves to shoulder past you, because you find it all too easy to picture how the rest of the evening will go now—Tomura learning about the safe house and turning his attention back to planning whatever comes next, spending the next many hours hunched over his laptop the way he has every other night. That singular focus hasn't been particularly noteworthy until now, but you're all too aware of what it means in this case: that this might actually be the last time the two of you are alone together before he leaves.

"Tomura, wait," you start, reaching to grab his arm, but you're a half-second too late. He's already ducking back out into into the main room of your apartment

After letting out a resigned sigh, you follow.

Continue reading on AO3

Taglist: @dabisqueen @kiwiimochi @simultaneously-sick-and-calm @ohsochoso @vngelis @tomurastrashpanda @evilmortytrapremix @nonobadcat @nao-cchi @sunasb3tch @chaos-night @toughbook @xxjesshuxx @lawfulrhi @doomsthotstash @sukiirei

#it's finally here y'all! #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x oc #tomura shigaraki x reader #tomura shigaraki x oc #shigaraki fanfic #shigaraki smut #bnha reader insert #atbi #ch. 29 #ghuleh.writes

[somberjoon]

SYZYGY [2]

✩ pairing: alpha namjoon x chubby fem!omega reader

✩ genre: wonderous , soulmates , strangers to "friends" to lovers , fluff , romance🔞 , life lessons , slice-of-life , brief angsty situations , happy ending

✩ word count: 4.9k

✩ chapter warnings: cussing , cover art does not depict fmc features, mention and feeling of throwing up but no throw up !

✩ summary: Namjoon would say that he truly lives the normal life. As an alpha, he works the job he wants, he goes out when he has time, and he has never received a single late-fee on payments. He's living the mundane life- until an unknown omega literally drops into his life. Where did she come from? Why him?

✩ cover: me

ch.1, ch.2 ...

Namjoon

“This fish must have a really good hiding spot, I haven’t been able to find it since yesterday.” Y/N kneels in front of his nightstand where a small decorative bowl of water and plants sit in a bed of rocks. 

Namjoon has been trying to work all morning. (Trying to answer all of Y/N’s questions while he also listens to the track over and over again while trying to make edits on it while Y/N is lingering around his desk like a lost puppy.)

“There’s no fish, it’s just a moss ball.” 

“A ball of moss? I guess that’s a pet, just like a potted plant would be. Why did you decide to get one?”

“They’re cute.” Namjoon gives a genuine answer and a shrug. 

“Very cute.” She agrees with a whisper almost too quiet for him to hear with one un-covered ear. 

The room quiets down for a moment of familiar peace, only for Y/N to flop back onto Namjoon’s bed with a heavy sigh. This change in his routine isn’t annoying or unwanted, but the sudden change is proving to be harder to get used to than he thought it’d be. He really can’t risk taking a last-minute day off of this project, and even then he always has projects. He can’t be mad people like his work, so- 

“Do you want me to see if one of my friends would take you out to do something today?” He turns to ask, meeting an excited looking Y/N whose head pops up immediately at the prospect. Her scent sweetens beautifully- he’ll definitely have to make her happy or excited more often. 

Jimin is easy to convince, especially when Namjoon tells him he’ll pay him for a day’s worth of work. He doesn’t even have to pay the kid to skip work for a day, but he thought it’d only be right- especially since Y/N can take his card, allowing them both to just have a budget for the day. 

The only catch- he didn’t tell Jimin what he’d be doing. 

“Wait, she’s that omega from last night!” Jimin is more excited than anything at first, probably hoping Namjoon has been lying about how lonely he’s been. 

“Her name is Y/N-” She gives an excited wave to Jimin, “and you are going to take her out and do something with her today.” 

“Something?” 

“Anything she desires or you see fit, because I can’t put off work and she doesn’t want to be inside right now.” Namjoon tries to explain as simply as possible. 

“Wait..” Jimin can’t help but let out an awkward laugh, obviously not fully understanding the situation. “I’m sorry, could I get a proper introduction from her instead of you talking about her like she’s a dog.” Jimin’s quip sounds light-hearted but it smacks Namjoon in the face. 

“I’m Y/N, I’m Namjoon’s gifted omega from The Goddess.” She gives him another small wave. “I’m excited to meet one of Namjoon’s friends. What was your name again?” 

Jimin gives an annoyed look to Namjoon. He knows that look all too well. Namjoon is avoidant and focused only on his life, especially during work hours. He doesn’t like to multitask, and will always focus on his work over anything else. 

“You have an omega gifted from The Goddess, a literal gift for you, and-” 

Namjoon must be looking at him in a certain way to get Jimin to stop talking. He knows how awful he looks, and he definitely isn’t proud of it, but he really couldn’t put off work for anything. He barely got time to visit his parents when his grandmother passed away- this definitely wouldn’t be reason enough. He’s helpless and hopeless in the same moment, a shell of what an alpha should be. The least he could give her is an experience with an alpha that is pleasant and soft until he has time to focus on her. 

“I’m Jimin, it’s nice to meet you Y/N.” Jimin coolly shifts his attention to Y/N with his memorable smile. “Are you hungry? Should we get some food first?” 

“Yes! Whatever’s your favorite is fine.” She meets him at the door, turning only to give Namjoon a soft smile that he doesn’t deserve. “I’m going with Jimin, I’m letting you know per our rules.” She can’t contain her excitement while looking at him, her heavenly sweet scent pooling out to make his heart ache and clench uncomfortably at the realization that she’ll be gone without him- happy and experiencing new things. He steps forward  to meet her as she finishes putting on her new shoes. 

“Here, use my card for whatever you do today.” He slips the card to Jimin to keep in his wallet, then looks back down to her. “Be careful please.” He looks at her with intent then to Jimin with a trusting nod. 

“I will. I’ll make sure to stay with Jimin.” She knows what to say to comfort him despite just having met. What should he do? How should he meet her halfway right now?

He instinctively reaches out for her hand, she lets him have it with no question. With her hand he wraps her around his own wrist, directing himself towards her neck. She understands his gesture immediately, bringing him up to rub his scent into the soft skin of her neck- her jaw, her cheek. 

“Thank you, Namjoon.” She whispers up at him, awe glittering in her eyes. All he can do to keep himself calm is not open his damn mouth, giving her a small smile and nod. It felt right, that’s all that matters. It’s not a big deal that he just scented an omega for the first time. 

-

With everything moving very fast in his book, Namjoon has finally decided to do some long awaited research. 

It’s quite easy to find blog posts and ‘asks’ on sites that are trying to reach out to others that share the same experience of ‘being gifted’. He reads through all of them, trying to understand why it all feels like it’s absolutely meant to be, instead of feeling forced and strange in unpleasant ways. 

‘I was gifted an alpha, one that I think is far too perfect for me- what do I do?’ 

Many hit far too close to home, and he takes even more time rereading those and their replies. 

‘I was gifted an omega and know of no one else, personally, that has had the same experience. I understand we connect just as I would with any omega that was to be my mate, but why is it so overwhelming and intense emotionally. It feels like I’ve known them forever.’

He scrolls through the replies, stopping to take all the information he can find into consideration. He starts with the top commenter, a reply that has over 5k thumbs up. 

‘Sadly, The Goddess and her ways are not scientifically researched and we cannot run tests on anything associated with Her. But, please know you’re not alone when you describe your experience. I have taught gender studies for the past 15 years and have gotten a question similar to this a few times- as well as read many writings containing interviews of mates containing a gift, doctors who have come into contact with those in the mated pairs, and even random users on social media such as you. I will always tell them the same thing. Do what feels right. Our second genders will always want to protect and claim when we find the one for us, that is no difference in this case. And even more special in these instances, you are to be a perfect match, making your scents and chemistry far more heavy and attracted to one another. I always recommend lots of communication and time to be put into these pairs, as your gift is learning so, so much and you now have a sort of responsibility to them. Our second genders make caring and dedication an easier adjustment, but these could go against your once beliefs, so I would say just make sure to take things at a pace that, again, feels right. Forcing space or uncomfortable time in between what is supposed to be a literal gift from The Goddess hurts you and your mate. Please read further if you are still confused, I’ll add some recommendations down below when I’ve compiled a list!’

Before he scrolls through the list of reading recommendations, he checks the replies to that specific comment. If there is someone talking about different instances, he can find some that want to talk about their experience under that post. He’s lucky, and finds a variety. Some say they waited until their partner’s rute or heat, while those gifted with a beta waited until their own mating cycles. That would give him time, he thinks. Others said the pull towards their partner was far too strong, making them immediately obsessed with each other in ways that they’ve never experienced before. 

As he scrolls and scrolls his phone ringing stuns him out of his focus. Seokjin is calling, which means-

“Yeah, hyung.” 

“Why did I just learn from Jimin that you have a gifted omega? Why the fuck didn’t you tell me.”

“It’s been…stressful trying to adjust.” A moment of silence has Namjoon checking the phone screen to see if his hyung hung up on him. Yep, he’s still on the line. And yes, he will be getting an earful. 

“You have your fated mate and you’re stressed? You- What are you doing having your omega spend time with another alpha while you’re at home working?”

“She wants to explore and try new things and I’m always holed up in here, hyung.” Namjoon says with more irritation than he wants to admit is adding up. “I can’t risk losing my job.”

“You are the company’s top producer, they could cut you some slack and give you time off while you deal with life-changing events.”

“No, no they won’t. I’m stuck in a contract that makes it impossible to have a sudden time-off. Everything I plan is at least 5 months in advance.”

“I’m going to tell you something right now that will pertain to multiple things in your life, maybe even all of them. Okay?” 

“Okay.” Namjoon sighs into the phone, staring at his computer where five emails just sent today are waiting for his response. 

“You’re talented and successful in ways that many could only dream of, but if it’s not working at this company, you need to try something else. If you need time to adjust to something and your work is heavily against you progressing in life, then you need to try something else. If you’re not happy, try something else. You understand?” 

It takes him by surprise every time Seokjin gets all fatherly on him. He’s never offered the same to Seokjin, but he also knows that his hyung would never want advice from a sour, work-obsessed, plan-crazy kid that doesn’t know how to have serious romantic relationships or even healthy relationships with anything in life. 

“I understand.” 

“Whatever you need help with, just let me know. Send over your contract and I’ll read it  over by this weekend. And Namjoon?”

“Yeah?” 

“Do you like her?” 

The question catches him off guard. Of course he does, she’s perfect. 

“Yes.”

“Act like it. Talk to her about more than just mundane life things, ask her questions, learn everything you can about her and please, dear Goddess, allow her to know you.”

“Yes, hyung.”

-

Jimin

“What is this place?” Y/N’s hands and nose are plastered to the passenger side window, looking out at the large rides and glittering lights that can be seen even in the afternoon. 

“My favorite place, an amusement park.” 

“What a fitting name, I’m very amused.” 

Jimin can’t help but be absolutely floored by the comment. She’s too precious, far more precious than him- and that says a lot. He parks in the large, annoying lot of the park and looks over to her to gauge if this is something she actually wants to do. 

“Good, because we’ll eat here and then ride some rides, sound good?” 

“Yes, please.” She immediately unbuckles and pops her door open to begin the long walk to the gates. 

After paying for two day passes and starting another journey to Jimin’s favorite food stall, he watches as Y/N takes in everything as if she’s going to be reciting every last ballon color spotted to Namjoon once we’re done. 

“So, this is your favorite place?” She suddenly looks to him to ask. 

“Uh, yeah, I came here a lot growing up and I still like getting my favorite snack and riding a couple rides like once a month.” He answers honestly. 

“How fun!” She again turns to continue eyeing whatever as they walk. Jimin is far too curious to keep quiet about their living arrangements, and how exactly Namjoon is coping with everything. He goes to ask, when Y/N gasps and meets a kid about seven feet in front of them and points at the ice cream cone in his hand. The swirls of the cone are a pastel blue that perfectly compliment the obvious vanilla white of the rest of the ice cream. The top of the cone is already lapped at, but it really does look good. 

“Where did you get that?” She asks, looking between the boy and their parent that holds their hand.

“‘Patty’s’, it’s just around the corner, big blue sign.” Their parent answers with a smile before continuing on with her small child also smiling up at Y/N.

“I really want to try that.” She turns to Jimin, more so asking than suggesting. How could anyone say no to her?

“You’re in luck, that’s where we were heading anyways.” Jimin sing-songs, leading the way to the small establishment. “Let’s eat first though, so we don’t get sick.” 

Jimin orders for them, Y/N content on sitting at their table to save the spot and look out the large windows at all the passersby. He doesn’t wait long, happily tapping away at his crossed arms as he leans against one of the walls. He brings the tray filled with goodies to the table, Y/N beaming up at him and then to the tray he's holding. 

"Wow, they all look so good. What is everything?"

"I think you'll find that Joon-hyung and I have similar taste- greasy, fattening, yummy foods. This is a corn dog, the least exciting. It's like a little kid's favorite food, easily palatable. These are spicy, sweet dipped chicken strips. Literally the perfect food- seasoned fries on the side. And the best for last, strawberry shortcake funnel cakes."

She eyes the food hungrily, trying to decide what to taste first. The look on her face is pure expecting excitement- he doesn’t understand how his hyung could pass up the chance to see her try new things again and again and again. She has a fresh new outlook on everything, and is excited to do everything. Even he can understand why she was gifted to him- but, would it even matter if he's too scared to allow himself to see the way she does? 

"Go ahead, try in the order I suggested. We'll half-sies everything so we don't get too full."

It's extremely easy for them both to finish. Y/N eats well and makes everything look like it tastes better than it does. He's happy to have someone that enjoys his favorites as well. After promising her an ice cream after their fun, they head off to their next destination. 

"Okay, now we walk to digest a bit and then, we ride."

"Eee! How exciting! What are they like?" She asks, looking up at the tall roller coaster nearest to them.

"Thrilling, scary, exciting. There are smaller ones and then, of course, the big ones. We'll start small just in case you don't like the adrenaline."

"Okay!"

-

Namjoon

It's already seven in the evening and Namjoon is actually done with his work early. He can't help but immediately hate his empty apartment, deciding to keep himself busy by preparing a late dinner. A large pan of pasta later, Namjoon gets tired of waiting and instead just calls Jimin. Luckily, his friend picks up immediately.

“Where are you guys at?” Namjoon asks, trying to hide his concern. 

“She won’t get off the damn swings hyung. We left the amusement park and, because I forgot to get her the ice cream I promised, we stopped at a small ice cream shop just for her to find a children’s park. I’ve been watching her swing for the past 15 minutes.” 

“Just tell her it’s late.”

“Again, she’s not a dog or a child, she just wants to have fun, I can’t say no to her.” Jimin explains.

‘I feel sick.’ Namjoon suddenly hears being yelled in the distance. 

“Shit, I think she’s gonna be sick, I gotta go.”

“No, don’t hang up-” The line clicks to show it’s disconnected. ‘Fuck’ he mumbles to himself before grabbing his keys and an extra jacket before leaving as quickly as possible. 

He doesn’t know where they are, but he can guess. Leaving the amusement park, there are about 15 dessert shops in the vicinity, and only one ice cream shop is close enough to a playground to be the right one. He finds Jimin’s car parked in front of the shop he guessed correctly, quickly unbuckling and bringing along his jacket to head to the park. 

“You’re going to be fine, just bend forward, put your head as close to your knees as you can. Oh- I smell hyung.” He hears them before he spots them, but quickly makes his way towards the voice to find Y/N sitting on the swing, now stationary and leaning forwards as far as possible. He quickly closes their distance, just about ignoring Jimin to kneel in front of Y/N. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He asks as softly as possible, his instincts kicking in to assess her in ways that don’t even make sense in this situation. He’s holding onto her ankles and squeezing up her calves as if she hurt her legs, inspecting. Then he feels her arms, immediately putting the jacket around her as she is cold to the touch. 

“Mm-okay.” She mumbles to him, “I jus’ need a second.”

“Okay.” He stands, a glare pointed at Jimin without thinking twice about who he needs to point his anger and adrenaline towards. Jimin immediately puts his hands up. 

“Do not get scary alpha on me after I did what you told me to do. I made sure she didn’t get sick earlier, this time around she was just too fast for me to keep up with her.” He defends himself, causing Namjoon to calm down just the slightest. He gets a grip on himself, knowing he shouldn’t be mad at Jimin. He helped him and unknowingly showed him that he shouldn’t have let Y/N do this without him. He let her have fun and allowed her to try new things. He’s extremely thankful- he just needs to get a tighter grip onto his alpha. 

“I’m sorry. And thank you for spending time with her while I was busy. I will- I’m trying to change my work situation, so-”

“Well that’s good- just, just open up to her about things, yeah? And let some of this alpha out once in a while to fucking cool it a little.”

“Yeah, okay.” He will admit, he didn’t even think about how he’d act the second he got there. But he didn’t think he’d immediately point fingers and push some kind of blame onto the person he asked for help. “You can head home. I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier.” 

Namjoon sticks out his hand to wait for Jimin to plop his credit card into his hand. Jimin does so with a sad smirk, obviously thinking his hyung would forget something so crucial in the moment. 

“It’s okay. She’s sweet and she sees things differently, it was nice to feel excited about things again.” Jimin gives him a smile and a pronounced clap on his shoulder as he walks past Namjoon and in the direction of his car. “Can you get home safe?” He points a finger to Y/N. 

“Yeah don’t worry. Text me when you get home.”

“Same to you.”

Namjoon waits for Jimin to get to his car before turning back to Y/N, finding her in the exact same position. He again kneels in front of her, assessing her scrunched up face. He relies only on his instincts, letting his alpha take over more than he’s ever allowed. 

“Come here, I’ll carry you.” 

“What if I throw up on you?” Namjoon rolls his eyes with a smile, his alpha yearning to touch and soothe after their time apart. 

“I don’t care about throw up, I care about getting you home to be warm and safe. Plus, I have medicine at home to help your stomach.”

“Goddess it hurts.” Namjoon can’t help but be endeared by her in this state, soft and needy. 

“Come on.” He urges again, standing up to offer both of his hands to her. She looks up and immediately holds onto him, standing and putting the jacket on with a shivering sound. 

“Now, hold on tight.” It’s the only warning he gives before bending down and hoisting her up by the thighs. She gives a small noise but immediately seems to understand and wraps her legs around his hips and her arms around his neck. Her face digs into his neck without a second thought, causing Namjoon to stutter his steps. He corrects himself and heads for the car, happy to have her around him and snuggling into his warm skin. 

He misses the warmth immediately upon setting her into the passenger seat, and buckling her in so she doesn’t have to move a muscle. The ride is silent, allowing Y/N to rest and warm up with the heater on. Again, he hurries to her side of the car upon their arrival to the apartment. He picks her up again, this time she’s prepared and snuggling into him with comfortability- his neck immediately opens for her as if she’s always been there to carve a space for herself. On their way up to the apartment, his alpha is calmed down enough to talk more comfortably. 

“Did you have fun today?” He asks into her shoulder. 

“Mmhmm.” Her hum is felt in his skin, shooting down his spine to slather goosebumps onto his skin. 

“That’s good.” He breathes out. 

It’s silent again until he’s unlocking the apartment door with one hand holding onto her. She’s clinging onto him just as much as he is to her, so it’s easy enough. He shuts and locks the door, only letting Y/N down once they’re back in his bedroom. He sets her onto the bed. 

“Wait, I have outside clothes on.” She worries.

“Don’t worry, let me grab some medicine, stay there.” 

Though he promises to only return with medicine, he stops in the bathroom, starting up a warm bath and setting a towel out onto the counter before proceeding back to his room. 

“Here, you can just chew it, and then you can have a warm bath to help with the ache and to warm you up, yeah?”

“That sounds so good, Namjoon, thank you.” She takes the pink tablet from his hand, immediately popping it in and chewing it before heading for the bathroom. He clings onto the way she says his name, wishing briefly that he didn’t keep things casual for now- Goddess he wants to hear her call him her alpha once again.

“Call me if you need anything.” He says instead, turning to the bed to strip off the blanket he sat her on, making sure it was his own blanket when setting her down. He finds another blanket in his closet, replacing it and grabbing Y/N’s top blanket to throw in the dryer. He then stops at the kitchen, putting water into his electric water heater. He grabs one coffee mug, setting a tea bag into the cup and turning to his cooked dinner to put it away into tupperware for the next day. 

Once the tea is done, he brings the hot mug into his room to sit on her side of the bed. He sets out that same pair of sleep shirts he cleaned for her earlier that day and grabs another random shirt for her to slip on. He changes his own clothes, paying attention to the sound of a draining tub. Perfect timing. He turns to meet Y/N, her perfectly sweet scent, and her very bare arms and legs. He didn’t exactly think about that. 

“I’m sorry, go ahead and get changed, I’ll be in the living room.” He says without a second thought, heading out and plopping down onto the couch with a sigh. He’ll plan that better next time to make sure she’s as comfortable as possible. It doesn’t take long before she’s calling him in and he hurries to grab the blanket he warmed for her. 

“Here, so you can be even warmer.”  Y/N holds onto the blanket like he’s gifted her  something far more magnificent. Nothing he does will ever deserve this response, but he soaks it up anyways. 

“Thank you.”

“And there’s warm tea on your nightstand. Do you want anything else? Do you want something light to eat?”

“No. No this is perfect. I’m already feeling better thanks to you. But-” She looks down at the blanket she’s holding, seeming to figure out how to ask something. Namjoon waits, wanting her to take her time with whatever she needs. 

“Could I hug you? Is that something you wouldn’t be ready for?” Namjoon finds the question precious in timing. He had just suggested she cling to him earlier, allowing her to find comfort in him. He also appreciates her taking his feelings into consideration anyways. He can’t say he’s been obvious in his wants anyways- it’s been a constant push and pull in this short time, wanting to give in and not just to make sure he’s pure in all his feelings. 

Without answering verbally, Namjoon allows his alpha to take what he wants now that he has the consent from Y/N. He pulls her in with both of his arms, warm blanket squished between them and adding to the warmth that blooms in his chest. 

“I missed you.” She mumbles a sigh into his chest. 

“I missed you too.” He responds honestly. His sappy feelings and the come down from letting his alpha have more of a role in their relationship has him wanting to be more honest than ever. He can also thank Seokjin for that.

“Can I suggest another rule?” Namjoon asks, the two still clinging to each other. 

“Mmhmn.”

“Please let me know when you want something from me. I’m not used to being intimate in- anyway really. This is new to me, but I want to work to be better for you and to learn as much as I can. So, just let me know if there’s something I can do for you.”

Y/N pulls back to stare up at Namjoon with her arms still securely on his waist. Her soft features and emotional eyes search him for something he can’t figure out. 

“I appreciate everything you give me. I know that giving yourself to someone is hard in any case. You’re still a good alpha no matter what. I feel safe with you, and I want to learn everything about you. I just want us both to be comfortable- so please let me know if you need something from me as well. It’s 100/100, not 50/50.” 

Namjoon can’t help but bring his hand up to cup Y/N’s cheek, her eyes still glittering up at him. A soft smile pulls at her lips that draws Namjoon’s attention immediately. If he was far more reckless, or far more comfortable taking without devotion, Namjoon would kiss her there and then. But, he’d never think about giving her less than she deserves. Only by accident will he, and only before this moment will he. 

“You’re so pretty…and you’re far too good for me.” he whispers as his thumb caresses the skin of her cheek in gentle circles. She goes to open her mouth, probably to counter his statement. He speaks first. “I’ll learn to be good for you. I promise.” The statement has Y/N inhaling a shaky breath and keeps her silent for far longer than Namjoon realizes.  If he could, he'd sit and take in her lovely scent all night and all day, relishing in the feeling of happy omega and the fact that he's the one that did that. But, he knows it's already late and he has kept her from sleep for too long.

“Let’s get you to bed.” 

Despite the day and their confessions, their night is the same as the one before. Namjoon can’t let one day with fresh promises be this turning point that just allows him to be rewarded the gift that is Y/N in full. He must earn her in ways that he still needs to prove to her and himself. They will get there. They will get to a point where both Namjoon and Y/N take and give with practiced passion and love. Because that’s what she deserves.

#bts au #bts fic #namjoon au #bts x fem!reader #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts x you #namjoon x reader #alpha namjoon #bts abo #bts omegaverse au

[anonymousewrites]

Adolescent Antichrist (Book 3) Chapter Thirteen

Father Figure! Lucifer x Teen! Reader

Chapter Thirteen: We're Family?

Summary: (Y/N) and Lucifer discuss the incident with Pierce.

Mouse Note: And here ends Book 3 of Adolescent Antichrist! We'll have a brief hiatus before Book 4 because I want to rewatch the season to plan out what might happen, but until then, I hope you guys enjoyed, and feel free to drop a message to me with any moments you might be interested in seeing, whether that be between Lucifer and MC, MC and other family members, MC and Em, or MC and their friends. You guys are all the best, and I'm happy to have you guys here with me even with these short chapters. This is a completely self-indulgent fanfic that has very little planning except for what my little heart wants, so to have support is super heartwarming. You guys are the best.

            “Are you doing okay, Lucifer?” asked (Y/N), leaning against the back of the couch as they watched Lucifer stare out the window.

            “The Detective is returning in a few days,” said Lucifer. “I am simply preparing myself for her arrival.” He smiled as if confident, but (Y/N) sighed.

            “It’s okay to be nervous,” said (Y/N).

            Lucifer looked away. “She’s going to hate me. I’m the Devil.”

            (Y/N) rolled their eyes. “Chloe’s smart. She knows you. She’ll get over this once she sees that you’re still you. If I could see that at twelve, she’ll be able to see that.”

            A small smile appeared on Lucifer’s face, genuine this time. “Thank you, (Y/N).”

            (Y/N) shrugged. “I mean, her seeing your Devil Face was pretty big, so there will be an impact, but I think it’ll work out.”

            “It was important, but…” Lucifer turned to face (Y/N). There was something weighing heavily on his mind. “There are some things more important.”

            “Oh, yeah? Like what?” teased (Y/N). “You pine over Chloe all the time.”

            “Like what you called me during the fight with Pierce,” said Lucifer, growing serious (for once). (Y/N) had been avoiding the discussion for weeks, but they needed to talk.

            (Y/N) turned pink in embarrassment and turned away. “Maybe another time. I have to be ready for my friends to come over for my birthday tomorrow.”

            “(Y/N), I’m not upset at you,” said Lucifer. He was oblivious with most things, but when it came to (Y/N), he paid attention. He could tell why they were nervous. They thought he was going to reject how they felt and throw them away for changing the dynamic.

            But that wasn’t true. Lucifer had thought of (Y/N) as his child long before they called him “Dad.” To know that they also felt a connection with him was an honor, and he would make sure they understood that he cared about them.

            “I know, but I made things…weird,” muttered (Y/N), looking away uncomfortably.

            “No, no,” said Lucifer, stepping closer and holding their shoulders. “You didn’t make things weird. Do you know how happy I am that you called me Dad? I…I was scared that I wouldn’t be able to treat you right after the shitshow my Father was. I am honored that you feel safe enough with me to call me that.”

            “So it isn’t…wrong?” asked (Y/N) uncertainly.

            “Not at all. I think of you as my child. Blood or not, that’s what matters, alright? Your parents are…terrible. I am happy to be your father,” said Lucifer.

         ��  (Y/N) felt tears prick their eyes. “We’re family?”

            Lucifer felt his heart clench at how surprised (Y/N) was that he could consider them family. Their experience with their biological parents had turned family into a contractual obligation, a group of people who had to listen to the person in charge and behave in a certain manner. Lucifer didn’t want them to think that. Granted, his family wasn’t exactly the healthiest, but many of his siblings did indeed care for each other. Amenadiel had some issues at times, but he defended Lucifer when needed. Azrael was one of Lucifer’s favorite siblings, and he’d always have her back.

            Lucifer wanted (Y/N) to experience that unconditional love. He wanted them to have a real family. He wanted them to feel safe.

            “Yes, we’re family,” said Lucifer.

            (Y/N) hugged Lucifer suddenly, pressing their face into his shirt to hide their emotions. “Thank you.” Their voice was muffled but thick with feeling. “Thank you, Dad.”

            Lucifer’s heart thumped as he tightened his grip on them protectively. “Anything for you, (Y/N).”

l

            Chloe gasped as someone put a hand on her shoulder as she read the old tome on the Devil.

            “Oh, I’m so sorry,” apologized the priest. He chuckled. “I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m, uh, Father Kinley. Someone said you might need some help with research?”

            “Yes.” Chloe chuckled nervously. “Did you hear some crazy lady was asking about the Devil?”

            Kinley smiled. “I don’t think you’re crazy at all. In fact…I think we should talk. Shall we take a walk?”

            Chloe hesitated, but she was desperate for some information after seeing Lucifer’s Devil Face and true identity. She nodded, and Kinley escorted her to the courtyard of the European church.

            “I work for a division of the church called the International Association of Exorcists,” explained Kinley. “We deal with demonic possession, people who believe that they have encountered the Devil or that they are the Devil. We know about Lucifer Morningstar, Ms. Decker. We’ve been aware of him for about seven years. At first we thought he was just a benign eccentric, but the more we watched him, the more terrifyingly authentic he became. And since you’ve traveled all this way to research him, I assume that you agree.”

            Chloe shook her head with uncertainty. “I don’t know what to think.”

            “I realize that this must be extremely difficult for you,” said Kinley. “And I want you to know that I’m here to help.”

            “How?” questioned Chloe desperately. “How can you help me?”

            “It is not how I can help but how you can help yourself,” said Kinley. Chloe looked at him curiously, and he held back a smirk.

            This will be simple. Chloe will kill the Devil, and I…shall handle the Antichrist.

Taglist:

@sammyscreencaps-13

@grippleback-galaxy-galaxy

@scarlettqueen190

@ziro-the-null-god

@sammy-13

@zeros-rot

#adolescent antichrist #father figure #found family trope #found family #x reader #gn reader #x gn reader #lucifer tv #lucifer x reader #lucifer fic #lucifer #lucifer netflix #lucifer x teen!reader #lucifer x teen reader #x teen reader #x teen!reader #x nb reader #nb reader

[tarohemianrocketmanapsody]

Homeward Bound // Somewhere Only We Know - Chapter 2

Prologue.

Chapter 1.

Chapter 2.

It had been a long fucking night and she really was at her breaking point. They had been doing a choreographed dance all night and she sometimes had to look down and make sure that her clothes were still on and that they hadn’t spontaneously combusted from the heat of his stares. She’d needed intervention.

Aggressively staring at Jake until he got the hint and came over to her at the bar, she all but yanked him down into a seat that partially obscured her view of Rooster. While her inner slut mourned the unobstructed view of him bending over the pool table to take a shot (looking like he was bending something else entirely over with the way he moved his body and the heat in his eyes), she was grateful to have a moment of mental peace that she hadn’t been able to have since he had walked through the door.

Raising his eyebrow, Jake just took the beer she offered to him as a peace offering and stared at her.

“What,” she said, avoiding his eye contact and clearing more glasses left over by their rush hour, wiping up the sticky mess that was always, ALWAYS left behind because people suddenly forget how to drink out of a cup properly.

“Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, doing your job rather than participating in this antiquated mating ritual?”

The laugh that came out of her was unexpected, and she whipped around to throw her dirty bar towel at his face. He caught it easily, a smirk on his beautiful face as he essentially wrapped his mouth around the beer bottle and drank it. She even saw his tongue peek out to lick up a drop that had run astray. She rolled her eyes. Like he wasn’t trying to seduce any and everyone in this bar too, he loved the attention. At least hers was just one man with a pornstache and a Hawaiian shirt, rather than the entire clientele of the bar. As far as she was concerned, she won.

“Oh please you act like this job is rocket science, we don’t all have to fly thousands of pounds of machinery under threat of death by explosion to make money. Half of this job is interacting with the clientele. Now it’s just you military brats left so it’s not like there is much for me to do,” she said. The “but stare”, was silent, but she knew Jake got that without her saying it. Jackass.

“Oh in that case,” Jake responded, swinging his legs around and making to leave her defenseless, “I’ll leave you to interact with your clientele.”

She had never moved so fast in her life, reaching out to grab his arm and turn him back to her. She once again felt heavy eyes on her. She knew His pilot eyes were meticulous, wouldn’t miss a single touch or smile, and part of it brought a thrill to her. She had remembered the fun she used to have flirting with the boys at school, loved to rev him up and see how he took it out on them, and then later, her, in a very painful (pleasurable), meticulous, way. Her traitorous body literally clenched at the memory. It was like she was an animal in heat.

“Fine you win,” she grumbled, going to get refills on drinks for a few patrons before coming back again to glumly rest her head on her hands in front of Jake. It wasn’t fun to deprive yourself of what you really wanted, regardless of how afraid she was of him, how scared she was at the power he wielded over her and the control he had over her heart. “I need you to run interference.”

Jake snorted, but turned solidly in his seat and leveled his eyes with her and she knew her trusted best friend was in for the count with her tonight.

“Please, you want me here so you can just play hard to get.”

“Excuse you, I AM hard to get.”

“Uh huh, a young girl at UCLA begs to differ.”

“As I recall you were the one coming onto ME.”

“Oh and you put up such a fight, we only had sex with each other every night for like 8 months.”

“Yeah, until we realized we were both in love with someone else.”

“Details details, jury still stands that you, my friend, are being pathetic.”

“Oh I’m being pathetic? You’re literally trying  to seduce all of my customers, and don’t even try to deny it because nobody just happens to drink their beer like that. No matter how much you might believe it to be true, you are NOT God and there are limits to your talents.”

“Maybe, but at least I can admit to my game, are you gonna own up to yours? Or are we going to pretend like you haven’t been eye fucking him since he walked in?”

She dropped her head between her arms and groaned. He was always right. Sometimes it was easier when he was away and he couldn’t read her like a damn book.

“I missed you,” she said instead, looking up at him and squeezing his hand. He rolled his eyes, but squeezed back nonetheless, the fondness in his eyes betraying the annoyance he was trying to feign.

“I know,” he replied. She didn’t take it personally, knew he showed his love in different ways, through actions and not words. He showed his love by always driving her to work and staying to take her home when he was in town. By laying in bed with her in silence while she couldn’t sleep, kept up by too many past regrets that she couldn’t put words to. And, by sitting here and entertaining her, quite frankly, psychosis as she battled feelings she hadn’t felt in 6 years while the object of her affection, and also her biggest fear, stood a mere 20 feet away.

“I’ve missed him too.”

“Yeah I think everyone in the bar can see that.”

“Do you wanna bust my balls or do you want to sit here and drink for free and let me get on my soap box?”

“…continue.”

“I don’t know, seeing him tonight just makes me realize how much I have cut myself off from feeling things. It’s scary.”

“Do you want me to ask you why or are you just talking to yourself?” 

“Shut up.”

“I’m just saying I’ve spent the past 6 years listening to you whine and quite literally yearn after this man that I honestly don’t think is worth your time. But you want him and you swear that he is some dramatic long lost love with like the dick of God and the patience of Ghandi, and there he is and he’s looking at you like you’re a piece of meat, so go get him.”

“It’s not just about the sex.”

“Then what is it about?”

“It’s about the moment after dude, having someone who knows you inside and out hold you, knowing that you’re safe in their arms and that nothing can ever truly hurt you when you have them in your life.”

“Okay, now I’m feeling slightly sick. Is there a point to this? Because if this goes on much longer for a choker like Bradshaw, I’m going to need another drink.”

“Yes, the point is, he was that person. He knew everything about me, bad and good and everything in between. What if he doesn’t know me anymore? Worse, what if he does? He’s going to leave again, you all do, and I don’t know if I can go through that again. I don’t even know if I want to face him again. I spent so long desperate to get out of here and be different than my mom and my family. I didn’t for a moment stop to think that the things that actually made me happiest were here. I let it ruin us. I don’t know if he can forgive me for that, and I don’t know if I want him to. I’m not going to be my mom, falling for a man who’s always got his back to me, flying away.”

“Now you’re just making up excuses. Blah blah blah, we get it you have abandonment issues, but don’t pretend like you can’t do this, considering we have been friends for the past 6 years. You’re just scared to get your feelings hurt again, which is just honestly embarrassing for you because you can probably lead Bradshaw around by the balls and he would thank you based on the way he looks at you. Stop being a pussy and  let yourself see what happens for once before we skip to the bad part.”

She poured two shots, clinking her glass with his as she tried to let his words sink in and drown out the shockingly high voices of her anxieties.

“You definitely don’t sugarcoat things.”

“You wouldn’t have practically begged me to come over here if you wanted me to placate you, you just want me to validate you so you can fuck him without feeling guilty.”

“I can’t just fuck him the first night he is back in 6 years, what do you take me for?”

“You forget that I’ve seen you in literally every possible physical position, and that I stay with you when I’m in town. I can hear what you watch through the walls.”

“That’s a good point. Just… don’t let me go home with him tonight. You might have some truth to what you’re saying, but things aren’t always black and white and I’m not quite ready to just let him back in. Things were said that can’t be taken back, and I can’t just forget 6 years of silence.”

“Whatever you want babe, all I’m saying is that you can’t hold him or yourself responsible for what happened when you were 18. Do you honestly think he would’ve been happy if he just blew off his dreams to follow you? Do you think you would’ve forgiven yourself if he did? You’re allowed to be irrational because that’s what teenagers do, but if you take 2 seconds to get your head out of your ass and stop being sad that he left, you might realize that it’s the best thing that ever happened for both of you. Timing is weird and you can’t control it, better that it happened then rather than you guys growing to resent each other.”

“Huh, your head is always so far up your own ass I forget how smart you are sometimes. Too bad in a month you’re both leaving and I’ll probably be left with some love child due to the indecent acts you’re trying to force on me.”

Jake actually snorted at that. You loved seeing your best friend laugh, didn’t see it often enough because just like you he carried his own losses from his past. Unlike you, however, he didn’t have a chance to reunite with his person, having lost her when he was just 20 and starting out on his military career. 

“Whatever, all I’m saying is, you’ve been given this chance to see him again after all of this time. And, if he has any sense at all in that hairy little head of his, he would never willingly leave you. People make decisions all of the time about what is important to them, and if I could do it all again I would give up flying in a heartbeat if it meant seeing her again, and having the chance to create the life we had always talked about.”

She didn’t know how to respond to that. He didn’t talk about her a lot, nor did she know him before he lost her, but she assumed that this girl had inherently changed him when she passed. She understood what he was trying to say though, and was shocked at how deep his devotion still ran for her after all of these years (though, she didn’t know why she was, because she was in the same boat). Jake had detailed to her countless times how his skills as a pilot were given to him by god himself, and how he had always been born to fly. To hear that he would give it all up for her, even after all this time? It was incredibly humbling, and insanely romantic, even if he would hate to hear that.

She squeezed his hand again, knew he wouldn’t want her to say anymore on the topic. It was always a conversation he preferred when there was a lot more alcohol, and an intensely lower level of consciousness.

“You’re right,” she admitted, continuing on before he could make a comment about how rarely she would make that admission, “But I could never ask him to give up flying. I did it once before, and I was wrong, even if my reasons weren’t selfish. You can’t ask someone to walk away from something they love, something that makes them who they are.”

“No,” he conceded, “But they can choose between something that they love, and something that they can’t live without.”

“Does it always have to be a choice?”

“No, in a perfect world you could do both and have it all, but how often do we get to dictate what we have? All I’m saying is, if and when the time comes, and he isn’t the complete idiot that I think he is, he will make the right decision. No man would willingly walk away from you.”

“You’re just saying that because of all the under the bar alcohol you get.”

“Now you’re the one making a good point. Speaking of good points, you owe me another beer. All of this talk actually helping Bradshaw is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. He needs to focus on his flying, that’s where he really needs some guidance.”

She smiled as she got him another beer.

“You’re just mad because he gave you a run for your money for first in class.”

“I would hardly call it “a run”, I had to throw everyone in class a bone every now and again so their spirits would stay up. I can’t fly every mission for the military, someone had to be second.”

“Shut up and drink your beer.”

“You just want me to stop talking so you can go back to undressing him with your eyes with no interruptions.”

She smiled, making eye contact with Rooster again. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of her since she had started her conversation with Jake. She was pleased to see his jaw set while he clenched the pool cue between his hand, his thumb with his father’s ring tapping rather aggressively on the pool table where he was leaning and not even trying to hide his stare. It seemed inevitable, at least in her mind, that they would find their way back to each other eventually, and if she was being honest it had always seemed that way. But it didn’t have to be right now, and it didn’t have to be easy. There were obstacles to overcome, and they had to get to know each other agains as adults, rather than two kids who fell in love. She also had to convince herself to not run in the opposite direction and never look back for a fear that she might never live a full life again if she gave him her heart, only for him to permanently leave again. So yeah, she was immensely going to enjoy a jealous… Bradley. She was excited to see if he lived up to her memory.

“You’re not hearing any arguments from me.”

———————————————————————

It was finally closing time at the end of what was likely the longest shift of her entire life. Jake had been a good sport, sticking to her side at the bar and keeping her occupied while slowly but surely everyone had petered out of the bar, many going home together as the Hard Deck once again worked it’s unspeakable magic and brought people together. All that remained was her and Jake at the bar and a handful of the same pilots from earlier, all scattered around Bradley like he was some boy king (boy being the furthest thing from describing this absolute man who was sitting there and looking like he could eat her up). She looked back at Jake and was grateful that he spent the night catering to her and her neuroses rather than spending it studying his fellow pilots, finding ways to subtlety one-up them and establish his dominance (a favorite past time of his). While she was thankful for his continued dedication, she currently needed him get the fuck out. The aviators had come off of Bradley and he was not being shy with his looks and suddenly her entire carefully constructed willpower, and her former reservations from literally 2 hours ago, went right out the fucking window. With him spread out on a chair, legs spread wide, Hawaiian falling just right, glasses hooked on his tank top dragging it down to show more tanned skin from his chest, who could blame her. She just wanted to… talk.

“I need you to take a walk,” she said, turning to Jake.

He just stared back at her.

“What in the hell are you talking about?”

“I need you to take a walk.”

“At 1:00 in the morning?”

“Yes.”

He looked around the bar until he laid eyes on Bradley and turned back to her incredulous.

“You told me you wanted me to play interference.”

“Yes, and now I’m telling you to take. A. Walk.” She exaggerated her statement with intentionally dramatic blinks so he would get the fucking hint and clear the bar.

“What happened to holding out and easing back into things?”

“We’ve already run 23 miles of foreplay tonight, might as well bring it home.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?”

“I have no fucking clue at this point, but it feels right. Now get out, I just want to talk to him.”

“Talk. Right. Is that what the kid’s are calling it now today?”

“Honestly your lack of faith in me is devastating, maybe I really do just want to talk. I would like to see him without the eyes of 50 other people looking in waiting to see what we do like we’re in a goddamn zoo.”

“Funny, as far as I can recall, you like to be the one doing the watching.”

“I’m literally kicking you out now.”

“I’m your ride home.”

“Then maybe you suddenly want to go check on your bike, I know it’s old and might need to be looked over before we drive it home, maybe will give you some time to sober up too, this is your 4th beer tonight.”

He just looked at her. She knew damn well that Jake could probably body two more drinks easily before he was at any point of intoxication that would prevent him from driving.

“I’m not finished with my drink.”

She reached forward and grabbed the beer out of his hand, not even looking behind her as she chucked it in the trash.

“And now you’re done. Do me a favor and take out the trash when you go outside, and maybe use that subtlety of yours you love to talk about to get the other pilots to go as well, it being such a long night and all. I’m really ready to close this place down.”

He got up from the bar, putting a finger in her face as he stepped away, “You have 20 minutes and I’m dragging your ass home, preferably clothed but I’m not above dragging your ass out of here naked. Some of us need sleep, we can’t all sleep until 11 and roll up to work at 4pm.”

She smiled and waved as he walked away, calling out, “You’ve lost a lot more sleep over a lot less noble pursuits.”

His middle finger in the air was the only response she got, coming around the bar to grab the trash before making his way over to the pilots.

She turned and busied herself with refilling the ice behind the bar and making sure the glasses and napkins were all back in order for her mom’s opening tomorrow. She was nervous now, listening out for the tell tale sound of the door opening and closing. She had been truthful about just wanting to talk, whether Jake believed it or not was a whole other story (and for good reason, as he knew her better than she knew herself, and knew she was likely being dishonest with herself).

 The tension that fell over the bar tonight was thick, and not just from the unresolved sexual chemistry they still very clearly shared (though that did not make the situation easier). Years of things left unsaid was sitting between them, and she wanted to have the upper hand in this interaction, wanted to be able to be the one to have this conversation on her terms. He had always known how to, for lack of a better word, dazzle her and have her all but begging to submit when it came to sex, but she had always been the one with the upper hand outside of the bedroom. While he loved to dominate her for their more… carnal interactions, he had quite simply been nothing but worshipful the rest of the time, letting her have the lead. This was likely because he was able to be a lot more open with his affection and feelings than she always had been, products of their home environments (hers sporting an emotionally distant and unavailable dad and having a mom who cut herself off from emotions in order to handle her own issues with men, while Bradley’s house had always been full of emotion and verbal affirmation, likely because Carole knew that nothing was ever guaranteed and didn’t ever want her son to question her love for him). She had always felt more comfortable showing how she felt with physical touch and actions rather than words, something that had never seemed to bother him before, but something she felt guilty about regardless. She had often been kept up at night over the years thinking if she had been able to be more vocal about how deeply she felt about him, and her fears of losing him, things might have turned out different.

She didn’t want to lord any power over him, didn’t want to take advantage of their situation or the many unresolved feelings they likely had for each other. That had never been what their power games were about. While they had liked to dabble into seeing just how many ways they could get each other to bend, to see just how much they affected each other, it had always come from a place of respect and safety and love, two equals pushing boundaries and trying to understand this explosive chemistry that wrapped around them. However, in this specific situation, she just wanted to be on her A-game. While she might not be as much of an open book verbally, her body language and face had always been able to express how she was feeling, and he had meticulously studied her over the years, determined to be an expert in all things her. Bradley often knew what she was feeling before she did. She wanted to have this conversation without folding to the magnetism they had over each other, wanted to see if they could actually meet as adults and possibly see if they could overcome what seemed to be a mountain of unanswered questions and tensions. However, she also was human and, unfortunately, was typically driven by her desires versus her mind, and the object of essentially all of her desires over the past half decade was suddenly a mere few feet away from her. Maybe she could forget how to act for a night.

“No,” she said to herself, so distracted by her own inner angst and monologue she missed the sound of people exiting the bar, “I must stay strong, for women everywhere.” It seemed flimsy, even to her own ears.

She moved down the bar, turning over barstools and stacking them on the counter. Hands reached out from behind her, grabbing the barstool and flipping it over with much more grace and ease than she was sure she had demonstrated.

Her back felt hot and suddenly all of her senses were in overload, his presence behind her being like a shot of adrenaline directly to her heart. She felt warm lips press to her ear, felt a hand slip around her waist and splay out on her stomach. The size of the hand compared to her small waist made her mouth dry out, her tongue rolling into the back of her head as she took in how his hand seemed to cover her entire stomach, as if laying claim to it and marking it as taken territory. She allowed herself to be pulled back into a hard chest (a very welcome change, though part of her missed her lanky Bradley who was more soft and was all arms and legs). Felt his other arm come up to have his fingers dance along her collarbone, leaving a small trail of fire with every touch. His fingers strayed to her neck, and she felt the slightest press of his dad’s ring against her throat. It was cold, a direct antithesis to the heat that was no doubt radiating off her of her skin. It was also insanely erotic. She had allowed herself to become ensnared in a golden trap, and she couldn’t even find it within her to be mad about it.

“You know,” he murmured, letting his teeth graze her ear while the ring pressed down slightly harder on her neck, “That was probably the best performance I’ve seen you put on to date. I came to offer my personal congratulations.”

She took a deep breath and counted to three, ignoring the pressure of his fingers on her throat and the heat of his other hand burning a hole through her shirt on her stomach. Once upon a time she had dedicated years of studying to those fingers, knew what all they were capable of. The game was just beginning though, and she couldn’t let him see her sweat. Not yet anyways.

“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing,” she started, tilting her neck up to show off more skin, smiling as she let one of her hands dance up his leg, light touches all the way up until she hooked her thumb in the waistband of his jeans, letting it rest against his bare stomach, “All eyes were on you tonight fly guy.”

She felt him laugh behind her, felt the vibrations from his chest on her back. She felt his fingers on her throat moving again, felt them flutter across her pulse point (which he could likely feel being rapid and explosive at the moment), before settling on her jaw, firmly gripping it and turning her head to the piano. His thumb, the same one with that damned ring, ghosted across her lips. His other arm still had her firmly anchored to his chest.

“Only one pair of eyes I was looking for sweetheart, I remember how much of a fan you are of a show, even left a spot open for you on the bench just like old times. But,” he said, his voice taking on a darker edge here, “You seemed to be… distracted.”

She thought back to his performance, back to that brunette who stood way too close, thought of the familiarity that ran between them. She recalled the heated looks he threw to other women of the bar. He had been playing the same game she had, but she had always excelled far more in this area. While he loved to make her jealous like she so loved to make him, he just liked having her eyes on him (and only him) better, and enjoyed nothing more than being able to have his eyes on her.

She nipped at the finger stroking her lip, and reveled in the way his fingers on her jaw tightened in warning, loved the way his fingers pushed harder into her stomach, toeing the line of more painful than heated. She loved it, hoped, secretly to herself in her mind where she didn’t have to face any repercussions of her actions in her little fantasy world, that he would leave bruises on her. That she would get to wake up tomorrow morning and relive what it was like to be in his arms, feeling his touch again, knowing that it was real, finally.

Snaking her hand up his arm and over the back of his neck, she allowed herself to sink her fingers in his hair and drag his head down to her level, keeping her eyes on the piano, and more importantly, the piano bench, while she spoke. 

“I would’ve been more entertained if there was something worth watching.” She let her tongue dart out, licking the shell of his ear, while her other thumb still tucked into his waistband started to stroke his skin.

Moves and counter moves.

His hand on her stomach moved faster than she anticipated, hooking his finger through her short’s belt loop, whipping her around and pushing her into the bar, his thigh going between her legs, with one solid, fluid moment. His hand that had previously been on her jaw was now resting flat on her chest, a chest that was now heaving up and down at being face to face with such proximity after all this time. She sent up a silent thanks to the gods that be for pilots and their ability to maneuver things (people) on a whim. His other hand had her caged in, wrapped around her waist as he pushed her even more, not so gently, into the bar.

“Mhm. How do you know him?”

She was suddenly scared to look him in the eyes, scared to see the fire that she knew to be in them, a similar fire that she was sure would be reflected right back from her own eyes. She focused, instead, on tracing the ridges of his chest through his essentially non-existent tank top.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

The warm hand that was resting on her chest started to move, sliding down her chest until he was full on palming (gripping) her boob. He moved his fingers and pinched her nipple, hard.

Her head shot up, her mouth opening, and she was embarrassed to admit she didn’t know if it was in outrage or arousal.

“Now I have your attention,” he murmured, his eyes scanning over her face. His fingers reached back out to soothe the sting on her chest, trailing a lazy circle around her nipple. Goosebumps erupted over her entire body. His face seemed humored, almost laughing at her obvious reaction to him, but his eyes held a heat she knew from many similar encounters in the past. He was seeking an answer from her, this one about Jake, and he knew how to dig until he got what he wanted. 

“Let’s try this again,” he said, his warm breath falling over her face as he leaned in to whisper in her ear, his hand at her waist gripping to the point where she knew he would leave bruises. She smiled. “How do you know him? It’s nice to see that your acting hasn’t improved in all of these years honey.”

She felt fire in her veins.

“Who do you want him to be to me? You seem awfully eager to make assumptions.”

His thigh pushed harder between her legs, and she felt humiliation run through her body when the word “throbbing” came to mind. She was no better than the women in the trashy romance novels her mom swore she didn’t read.

“That’s because you want me to make assumptions.”

That was a fair point. While it was her favorite game to play with him, she had forgotten how well of a contender he was.

She leveled her eyes with him and smiled when he looked down at her, his eyes following the line of her tongue as she slowly licked her bottom lip. His hand, sadly, abandoned its menstruations on her chest, his thumb coming up to slowly trace the route her tongue had taken. Eyes locked. In a different scenario, at a different time, she might have sucked his finger into her mouth, maybe even dropped to her knees, if for nothing else just to see his hungry, desperate eyes follow her every move. But she had genuinely wanted to talk, and she was kind of letting herself get off track.

“He’s a friend, has been for awhile.”

“It seemed more than just a little friendly.”

“Aw, you remember how well I treat my friends Rooster, you used to be one of them once upon a time.”

His whole body tensed. He didn’t like that one. At. All. She couldn’t settle on a feeling, scared of how he might react, or actively anticipating what was coming.

His hand slid up from her waist, ghosting his hand over her chest while his other moved down to cradle the back of her neck. She closed her eyes and let her head drop back. His large hand framed her face, cupping it, while the other slipped into her hair and pulled, forcing her eyes open. He continued to pull until her back was practically arching over the bar, until their eyes met once again, a pair in orbit that always gravitated back towards each other. 

“You’re playing a game and I’m willing to play along, I just don’t know if you’re going to be able to handle the consequences when they catch up to you.”

Their faces were mere inches from each other, and she resisted breaking their gaze to stare at his lips. His eyes held her in a trance, were reading her just like they always did when they were kids, and she suddenly wished she could freeze this moment in time, and always remember the way he was looking at her, like she was the sun and in charge of his gravitational orbit.

“I’m not sure what you’re implying, I just wanted to talk.”

He smiled at her then, genuinely smiled, and the sight of it made something warm blossom in her chest. It was like Catherine crossing the Moors and seeing Heathcliff again, like Darcy and Elizabeth crossing the field and coming home to each other, like the time traveler and his wife celebrating being in this moment, this current moment, together for just a minute.

“Talk?”he questioned, letting his thumb stroke her cheek.

“Talk,” she replied, leaning into his touch, trying to count the number of wood boards on the ceiling, anything to calm her down and get the absolute need between her legs under control, “Unless you’re going to find a reason to argue about that too.”

He moved his hand from behind her neck to her legs, picking her up with one arm (seemingly with ease? Dear lord) and laying her gently on the bar (a direct antithesis of his more forceful handling earlier, she couldn’t decide which one she loved more). His hand that was on her face was now being used to tenderly lay her head down and suddenly his entire body was between her thighs as she laid flat on her bar, him staring down at her. And the heat. Was. Back.

“Aw no baby,” he said, his hand once again coming down to dance along her throat, his index finger slowly drawing a line from chin to chest that had her seeing stars already, plotting a course of action or simply meaning to drive her crazy, she didn’t know, “I love to hear noises come out of your pretty little mouth, talk away.”

She put her hands on his shoulders, whether to drag him down or push him away she wasn’t sure, when he reached up with his right hand, the ringed finger, and grabbed her wrists. 

Sirens went off in her brain as he lifted her arms over her head to pin them to the bar. Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t- He pinned her wrists to the bar, flipping them over and interlocking her left hand with his right one. 

Fuck.

He did it.

There was no coming back from this for her.

When they were younger no matter what position they were in or how heated things got, he always, always laced their fingers together. It grounded her, let her know that she was safe with him no matter what wicked shit he pulled on her body. Reminded her that she was loved and cherished. She felt his dad’s ring on her hands and had to suppress the tears that threatened to come to her eyes. It was all too much, all at once, he was everywhere and was flooding all of her senses.

“You wanted to talk sweetheart,” he whispered in her ear, taking his sweet time to nibble on her ear lobe before moving his lips behind her ear, sucking the spot behind it that literally had her back arching off of the bar and into his hard body.

“Yeah, I do. I think that there should be…”

He blew on the spot he had been sucking on, squeezing their interlocked hands before grazing his teeth down to her pulse point. She felt him place a sweet kiss to it before… Jesus h Christ placing his tongue on it, no doubt enjoying the rapid fluttering.

Her head fell back down to the bar with a thunk, exposing more of her neck to him (which honestly benefited her, once again thanking the powers that be that he remembered just how far he could get with her with a little bit of neck kissing and the biting… and the sucking… and the…). She went to speak again when he bit down on her pulse point. Hard. She wasn’t sure what sound emitted from her body, but she got a welcome hum against her throat and his legs came closer, widening hers even more, and she figured she must be getting rewarded for good Karma in another life.

“Boundaries. I think there should be solid boundaries between us while we get to know each other again…. See if we even still have anything… in common.”

He hummed, acknowledging her words, obviously taking them as encouragement completely ignore her in favor of continuing his onslaught of her neck. Before each stinging bite he placed a feather light kiss over his next victim spot. Her head was spinning between the juxtaposing sides he was showing. He was intentional with his path, she could tell. He was leaving his mark, that much was obvious, a brand that showed that he had been there. His feather kisses were even more branding than the bites and marks, penetrated her skin and touched her soul. He was forging a campaign to conquer every part of her body, ever the military man, trying to mix himself with every part of her he could, and leave his imprint not only on her skin, but underneath it too. Fuck.

“I’m being serious, I don’t even know how long you’re back for and we’re basically strangers right now and there are conversations that need to be had before we just…”

He had reached her chest. 

Suddenly she had the strangest feeling that laying in her dim bar on her, lovingly, worn down counter, being kissed and marked and having her heart bared for everyone to see, felt strikingly similar to what it must be like standing in the grace of God himself.

His tongue dipped out, licking from where her cleavage began all the way up to her other ear. She didn’t even need to see his face to know he was smiling while he spoke low in her ear.

“I don’t know sweetheart, I could be wrong but I don’t think your body has forgotten me. Maybe a conversation about your masters in accounting can wait until I fully reacquaint myself though, and really address these boundaries of yours that you’re talking about.”

Another bolt of heat shot through her. He knew about her masters in accounting, which likely meant he knew about her BA in business before deciding to go on, wanting to learn everything she could about financials and banking before coming home and committing to a business. He had kept tabs on her too. The thought made her warm from head to toe on the inside.

“That’s a fair point Lieutenant.”

She felt his reaction immediately, took note of the way something most definitely jumped between her legs, and the way he stopped breathing for a moment in her ear. It was her turn to smile again. He had always loved having power over her in moments like these. To hear his rank uttered in such an intimate setting? It would likely drive him crazy (which she had partially wanted, she was obviously losing ground in her desire to have a conversation, the next best thing was to make him feel as out of control for her as she did for him). Plus… he was smart. He could read between the lines, would take her comment for more than face value. He was wearing his civilian clothes today. There was no way for her to know he was a lieutenant without having kept tabs on him too. It was an olive branch, albeit a small one, and a temporary ceasefire on her inner angst and turmoil over everything to do with him (and with them).

He attacked her chest with fervor. Gone were the light touches and slow passage, he was a man possessed as he, for lack of other words in her current foggy mind, ravaged her chest. He bit down and sucked so hard she swore he would draw blood. Her eyes seemed to be spinning in their sockets at this point and she shut them tightly, refusing to look down at him thoroughly debauching her for fear of how she would react. When he was done with one side of the top of her cleavage, he attacked the other with just as much gusto, and she started to squirm on the bar, her hips moving, looking for friction, while her hands were still clasped in his iron grip.

His other hand, forgotten in the midst of the overwhelming everything, shot up and gripped her waist tightly, his thumb pressing harshly into her skin as he stilled her hips and made her take the onslaught of his mouth and teeth. Holy fuck.

Then his lips were off of her and his hand above her head was releasing her and for a moment she could think, could actually formulate words in her brain, could produce reasons why not now, not here, not like this, but he didn’t give her much time to breathe. His hand came down from above to tweak her right nipple, pulling and pinching, while his mouth claimed her other nipple through her shirt (and wasn’t that insanely erotic wow, she suddenly was gleeful that she had forgone a bra tonight, the rough fabric of her tank top rubbing against her nipple, the wet friction creating overwhelming feelings of pleasure that, in combination with his other hand, went straight to her vagina).

His other hand ventured below the waste line of her shorts she suddenly despised, hated for the barrier they placed between them. Feeling of his fingers against the heated skin below her underwear had her suddenly wondering if it was possible to just get off on heated glances and bites and well placed fingers because wow she can’t recall ever feeling so turned on in her life.

“You’re trying to distract me and it’s not going to work, no matter how good with your mouth or how sinful your fingers are. We can’t just forget about the past 6 years Bradley.”

His head popped up at his name, and she swears she saw something soft in his eyes when he looked up at her from his position. He kept his hand where it was in her pants, but the other one came up to cradle the back of her neck again, his thumb stroking the skin he found that was most likely red and bruised.

“I think,” he spoke, his thumb pressing hard into her skin yet again in her pants, the pressure bringing her to attention while he all but forced her to look into his eyes, his other hand holding her head in place, making her look at the seriousness that danced behind his golden browns, “That we both know how this is going to end. That we both know that whatever games you want to play, and however far you’re going to run from me, you’re going to end up right back here by my side like you were always meant to be. I highly suggest we start enjoying that future now, rather than ruminating on things in the past that we can’t change. You can put up a fight if you want to darlin’, but at the end of the day we both know who you’re going to be coming home to.”

Fuck.

-----------------------------------------------

Tag List: (comment if you would like to be added)

@littlewhiterose​

@thisisgracetrying​

@blindedbyyourgrace17​

@maverooster​

@mjgrape2839

@discoseal

@n3ssm0nique

@lt-b-rooster-bradshaw

@winteryoungie

@professionalgeekgirly

@meeeeees-stuff

@fangirlinc

@icarussunlight

@levylovegood

@drewstarkeyishot

@nobody7102

@catmcx

@startterfly

@blackbrownie 

@letusbewildflowers 

A/N: Okay. Wow. This is my first ever public piece of writing and I wish someone had told me that characters, even ones made up by other people like Rooster, have a mind of their own. In my head they were already well into some ‘family friendly’ very kinky fun, and yet they had other plans and suddenly it was almost 8,000 words of further character / relationship development, Jake/reader best buddy time, and just the tip of the iceberg in regards to any smut (all for just this chapter no less). Who knew? Lol. I’m honestly not even halfway finished with this scene, but it's nearing 1am and I wanted to get something out (partially because I have this panic that everyone will move on from our Rooster obsession and I want to capitalize on the interest while it is there). I was trying to write some good old-fashioned smut and sexual tension and a lot of sappy worships and allusions to God / gods worked their way in there, whoops. I personally like my rough smut with a nice heaping side of worship and adoration, but maybe it’s just me haha. I promise after next chapter I will actually get them out of the bar and get the story truly rolling. I have spent the last few days obsessing over other people’s fanfictions and sitting and plotting on my own (sitting at the dinner table and thinking of pet names for him to call her during sex while your family is eating is not recommended). I can’t guarantee a regular updating schedule, because while I am riding this obsession train HARD, I have also come to realize just how fucking hard writing is, and don't even get me started on dialogue. And having to move them from place to place and describe every step and action so it is realistic? Kill me. I’m writing for my own personal fantasy and enjoyment tbh, but I hope you guys like it! The comments and kudos really inspire me to write, and just all around make me feel insanely good about myself and my writing, so thank you for that! I have messed around with the movie timeline just for my own creative reasons in the fic, so just know it’s my world and we’re all just living in it. Happy reading!

(Again, it is now nearing 1am as I finish this author's note, it’s going straight from my phone notes app to here with no editing because I couldn't wait to share it, my apologies because I write how I think, so one longgggg run on sentence with seemingly no understanding of commas or grammar).

We could call this scene a part 1 if we want, next chapter will pick up from here.

(BTW - this chapter’s pic is how I imagine him sitting, surrounded by his fellow pilots, watching ~her~)

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw fanfiction #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw smut #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw x y/n #top gun #top gun maverick #jake hangman seresin

[roydeezed]

Detective Conan-Case Round-Up(Chapter 781-786)

This was an interesting case as it ran quite long for a case that didn’t have much narrative impact. It did have a lot of twists though. And left quite a deep impression on me in a probably unintended way. In this case, we find out why Heiji originally came to Beika this time because he wanted to show Conan a mystery. By the just to put into perspective how much of a trek Heiji and Kazuha make, Beika is said to be a ward of Tokyo and the fastest method to get from Tokyo to Osaka is the Bullet Train, clocking in at 2 hours. By car it’s around 6. So Heiji really loves Conan to be coming by this much. The case turns out to be about the CEO of a graphic design company that gets murdered and leaves a disappearing dying message on the tiles of the bathroom he was renovating. To avoid spoilers, I’ll talk about it past the “Keep reading” and go more in-depth into it as well.

Okay, so that was a lot of twists. Breaking down the case it turns out it was the secretary who was the CEO’s daughter from his first marriage and angry at the son and wife for covering up his death. She got revenge by first killing the son using his gluttonous attitude and an optical illusion to make it seem like the piece of pastry that had the poison on it was bigger, and then blaming the death on the wife by using her sandals and making it look like she committed suicide through another optical illusion which caused her to forget how Kanji looked like and ac in a very specific manner because of that. I really  loved how thematically consistent it was and how it centered around the concept of optical illusion while also being about graphic design. This was a really strong case all around.

This case had a lot of moving parts, but the one it utilized most was previous knowledge as it helped to solve the murders, with both optical illusions being things people could have possibly known. Though I did know the trick with the baumkuchen, my mind totally blanked until they brought it up and the Kanji trick is understandable through sheer common sense as well. Speaking of Baumkuchen, after seeing it in Cipher Acadamey I’m now seeing it here and I wonder if I’ve ever had any. We used to get a lot of sweet type things from the local bakery but it’s german so I don’t know if our bakery would make it. Time to hit up my german friend I guess. Speaking of german, these previous knowledge parts always remind me of the RACHE moment in Study in Scarlet.

Anyways, on top of it all, we got a return of some of my favourite characters, Kansuke, Yui Uehara, and Komei. I always found their dynamic interesting and their character designs have them chewing up the scenery. They feel like they dropped right out of a 80’s hard boiled hong kong detective film. I don’t know why but they also always seem to have higher stakes, maybe it’s because their harsh designs cut such a sharp contrast to Aoyama’s worlds as opposed to his more agreeable silhouettes. Anyways, I’m not a good enough artist to speculate but they just do. Let’s leave it at that. 

Now let’s get to the character drama. We get Ran telling Kazuha about how Shinichi confessed and she worries that she might have pressured him into it. It’s really sweet how much she cares about him and how understanding she is. Though Conan confessed, if you can call it that(I guess it’s the best you’ll get out of a deduction freak), it was because he saw how much Ran actually cared about him. And I understand that he doesn’t tell her about his predicament because he worries for her safety, you can’t blame her for not figuring it out because frankly it’s an insane conclusion to come to and Shinichi’s also pulled off some impossible stunts to keep the illusion going that most people wouldn’t be able to bridge the assumptions between. Such as the very convenient antidote pill.

Anyways, Kazuha tries to get Ran to give Shinichi a reply by promising to confess her feelings to Heiji and she does but he runs off to Conan before she can finish. I really love Heiji and Shinichi’s relationship. He straight up acknowledges himself as Shinichi’s best friend and that’s where it strikes a really sad cord with me. Because both Shinichi and Heiji both didn’t have peers that they could relate to and talk to and get excited about stuff with until way later in life. They’ve lead pretty solitary lives but now Conan finally has a lot of peers from the Detective Boys to Heiji to Sera. But Heiji is still pretty alone.

#detco #dcmk #detective conan #gosho aoyama #manga recap #manga discussion #manga #shinichi kudo #hattori heiji

[ak47stylegirl]

Thunderbirds Meet Thunderbirds: The Rewrite. 

- Chapter 4 -

Here’s to the next chapter! I hope you guys enjoy!! 

(Huge thanks to @janetm74 for bata reading, and @tsarinatorment​ for letting me ramble to her while writing 💙)

Prev | Next 

--

“John,” Dad sighed, tapping his pen against the desk, “do you have any info on how the fire started?”

“I’m sorry, Dad, but no…” John shook his head, typing away at Thunderbird Five’s monitors. “Most of the people that could have told us are either dead or our impersonator…”

“So let me get this straight…” Scott uttered, disgruntled. “Our only source of info could be coming from the firebug himself?” 

John grimaced. “Yes” 

Great…

“Dad, what are we going to do?” Gordon questioned, looking at their father for guidance, “this guy could cause trouble for us...” 

Virgil looked at Gordon like he had lost his mind, “He’s a kid, Gordon…”  

“Kid or not, Virgil, your brother is right…” Dad sighed deeply, leaning forward as he looked at them, his eyes deadly serious,  “which is why I have a couple of our agents tasked with keeping an eye on him and keeping me informed of any developments…” 

It felt better knowing that they had people keeping an eye on the situation, even if the situation itself wasn’t anywhere near pleasant, Scott thought with a small sigh, letting his shoulders drop as the tension flooded out of him. 

This way they would be able to react quickly if anything happens and hopefully avoid disaster. Because this whole fiasco had ‘possible disaster for international rescue’ written all over it.  

But Dad had it handled, so there was no need to worry...

“But until that happens, I don’t want you, boys, worrying about this..” Dad flicked a switch on his desk, turning command and control back into his office around them, their launches being hidden by a mural of them in civilian clothes. 

Looking at it now, you would never know that this was the command centre of International Rescue. It was just their dad’s island office, nothing else. It was also a sign that debrief was over. 

“This mission may have not had the result we expected but I’m proud of how you boys handled it -“

He felt a smile break out on his face at the praise, a similar expression appearing on his brothers’ faces as well. 

“- you saved lives and that's what matters, go wash up and get ready for dinner, you boys deserve it..” Dad smiled softly at them as they stood up to leave, “I'll join you in a moment…” 

“FAB Dad!” 

---

After a lovely dinner prepared by the wonderful Onaha, they decided to finish the night off with a splash in the pool. Scott barked a laugh as he dunked Virgil under the water, swimming away before Virgil could retaliate. 

“Scott! Get back here!” 

“Haha, no way! You’ll just have to catch me first!” He teased as he swam away from Virgil, constantly keeping him out of reach. Dad was watching them from a pool chair, laughing every so often, as Scott taunted “Oh come on Virg, I thought you wanted to catch me -”

Scott didn’t notice Gordon until it was too late, getting a face full of water from his grinning second youngest brother. He spluttered, his eyes wide with surprise as water dripped down his face. 

Virgil burst into laughter. 

His eyes narrowed as he spotted his second youngest brother retreating, “Gordon!” Scott raged, starting to chase his fish of a brother around the pool. “Get back here! You little sh-!”

“Uh oh! don’t let Dad hear!” Gordon teased, swimming backwards like he was born in the water, swimming circles around him, “You don’t want to get into trouble now do you?” 

“It’s not me who’s going to be in trouble…” He growled with a sly grin, putting on a burst of speed and catching Gordon by surprise, causing his little brother to yelp and squirm as he gave him a noogie. 

Once Scott decided that Gordon had been punished enough, he let him escape his grasp with a laugh, “And that's what you get for splashing your big brother!” He yelled at Gordon’s retreating form with a grin. 

Dad’s phone ringing cut through the night, pausing any of Gordon’s plans for revenge in their tracks. They watched silently from the pool as Dad stood up and took his pink flip phone out of his pocket, opening it up. 

“Hello, Jeff Tracy here…” 

TBC

#Scott Tracy #jeff tracy #Virgil Tracy #John Tracy #Gordon Tracy #alan tracy #Brains (thunderbirds) #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds 2004 #thunderbirds meet thunderbirds #thunderbirds movie #thunderbirds fanfiction

[tapwrites]

Exposition is Learning

Stories aren't just made up of what happens, but of facts--fictional as created by the writer, or real-world facts that are important to the story.

Speculative fiction in particular has a lot of these, because they take place in a world different from our own. But real-world stories may have details a lot of readers don't already know. Imparting such facts about how the world/reality of the story works can be vital if the reader is to get the most out of the story... or even understand it at all!

We need to...

Teach about the story through the story.

Remember people read novels for the story. If it isn't clear how a piece of text adds to the story, they won't want to read it. So they won't want to learn from it.

How can we use that principle to teach the reader without them noticing?

It was the Fifth Corner in Althoria, with Lumina and Umbra intertwining where the tapestry of Veridium unfolds.

The reader has got to be able to understand what they're reading, even if that's guessing through context clues. Or they're not going to take in any of it in the first place. There are 5 new terms in that example, with no context clues to help the reader out.

We could rename some of them to make them easier to understand. But I'm going to avoid actually changing anything for now. Let's just add some context clues...

It was the Fifth Corner of the year in the kingdom of Althoria, with the Lumina and Umbra magicks intertwining where the royal tapestry of Veridium was being unfolded.

Okay, so the "fifth corner" is to do with time... like a season, or month perhaps. We've got a kingdom, two kinds of magic, and what seems like a literal physical tapestry that relates to them.

Is it teaching us anything about the story? Well, it's not very clear how it's related to the story. It seems to be just some facts about the world, but we're not motivated to want to know them. It's an info-dump.

There's no reason for us to read it apart from being told stuff about the world. Maybe it'll become relevant later in the book, but right now we just don't care to read this kind of stuff.

There are readers who don't mind a big ol' wall-of-text at the start setting up the world. Tolkien's tome starts very exposition-heavy. So you might get away with it. But then again, a lot of people have tried and failed to make it past the first chapter of Lord of the Rings.

For most readers it's much better, and more enjoyable to read, if the exposition is part of the story... sprinkled in through the book in places where it's relevant to what's happening.

And, of course, if you want the reader to already know something by the time they get to the relevant part... by all means, plant it earlier in the story. But still, make it relevant at the time they read it.

One way of making it relevant is having a character care about it.

"The leaves are falling! The Fifth Corner starts today!" Rav shouted, hopping on the spot. "Isn't it exciting?"

Woah there, Rav! Calm down! Okay, so this guy called Rav is super excited for whatever Fifth Corner is. Something to do with the leaves falling, so... autumn perhaps? I want to find out more--what's so exciting about it?

Let's add another detail back in. We'll give it more detail than a simple name-drop, by putting a knowledgeable character in front of it.

Gann sighed. "Yay for you..." she mumbled, planting a hand on his head to stop it from bobbing in front of her. They turned onto the bustling high street and moved with the crowds. She looked up at the palace towering at the end of the miles-long road, and watched the giant form wrapped about the spire slowly unfurl. The Great Tapestry. It was an ancient device that had laid dormant all year, until now--the Fifth Corner. As it stretched out, it drew in the magic of the land, enriching the earth in the process, and powering the celebrations that were soon to come.

What's happening, story-wise? Gann sees this Great Tapestry. Which, naturally, makes her think about what it is. And as she's the viewpoint character, we're seeing those thoughts and learning from them.

So, by itself, that last paragraph could be seen as exposition-only. But it's not just there for no reason. It's "motivated" by the narrative. The character would think about what they're looking at; that's part of the story.

Find a narrative excuse to teach the reader.

This is the fundamental trick to use. Give the reader an excuse, and you can talk about whatever you want to. At least for a little while.

Here, the object is seen. So the writer has an excuse to talk about it. Gann knows about the Great Tapestry, so when she sees it she thinks about what she knows about it. Simple as that.

Another common excuse is to have a character who doesn't know something that's relevant, and another character who does. Now the unknowledgeable character can learn things the writer wants the reader to learn.

Like Watson in the Sherlock Holmes stories; he may not do a lot to solve the cases, but he's very useful to have around so that Holmes has someone to explain things to.

So we could re-write the previous example like so:

The palace towered at the end of the miles-long road. Rav's eyes went wide. "Woah," he said, in hushed tones. "What's that huge thing on the palace?" Gann looked up as the giant form wrapped about the spire slowly unfurled. "The Great Tapestry," she said. "Know what that is?" Rav shook his head.

You can use any character who doesn't understand whatever you want to teach the reader. They're in the same position as the reader; they know as much as the reader does about the topic. So they can find out the same way the reader could if they were in the world. They can ask questions, they can be taught by others. They can learn by investigation.

Just make sure they're an actual character though. If they only exist to stand there and be told things, they're just a prop. But they should have their own stuff going on, and be part of the story too.

And you don't have to rely on that same character all the time; different characters might know and not-know different things. Rav is young and doesn't know about the Great Tapestry. Maybe Gann is from another realm, and doesn't know much about the kingdom of Althoria apart from the magic. They can teach each other things as needed, and the reader can listen in.

This principle also lets you "emote" with a character the reader identifies with--in awe, or terror, or curiosity. And, as the reader identifies with them anyway, that's a cue for how they should be feeling while reading as well!

Note, this is different to "maid and butler dialogue," in which two characters that both know the facts just tell each other what they already know:

"As you know, the mistress is coming back from town today," said the maid. "Yes, and as you know, her son has been crying for her ever since she left," said the butler.

That's not how people talk to one another in real life. People usually skip giving all the context, relying on the context they think the other shares, and talks about new stuff.

"Everything ready?" said the maid. The butler laughed bitterly, under his breath. "It will be. Barely." He leaned in and whispered, "As long as it stops the kid from yowling, I can cope with a swift return at the drop of a hat."

This is a lot more natural. And while it gives the reader some hints, it lets them discover the details more naturally as things unfold.

Plus, when the characters are conversing naturally, instead of machines for spouting facts at the reader, we get a better sense of how they feel about the situation, and who they are as people--making them feel more real in the process.

#writing #story #exposition #infodump #teaching #learning

[taki118]

SuyaLight Master Post Part 5

I really like these two there’s not a lot of content for the fandom as a whole soooo here’s my submission as I get every moment of these two royals who literally share a braincell (and I love them for it) First up this is just on the manga if you are anime only its going to have stuff you havent seen, yes even with what the anime covers (so read it) and there will be spoilers so beware. If you prefer Demon Monk/Cleric/Leo (which I don’t really get) I am sorry this isnt for you. Lets go! Part 1 is here Part 2 is here Part 3 is here Part 4 is here

Twilight wants to make an informative manga Suya joins cause she wants the exhaustion sleep after

I just love how he stops her cause he knows she has no tact

Twilights problems keep increasing cause of Suya and not always directly

The Rookie shows up again looking for help with Suya and Twilight wants to avoid problems 

To try and get the Rookie to drop it he wants to show him Suya at her worst

Twilight is able to correctly guess what she’s doing. 

Despite Suya acting terribly the Rookie just continues to see the best in her.

Again some people might see this as proof that Twilight has no interest in her but as see it as him seeing Suya for who she truly is the good and the bad, which is important in a partner.

Suya accidentally turned the demons in the castle into children so she “helps” them continue their day as normal. Mostly because she thinks kids are cute. 

Also look how cute little Twilight is.

So Twilight went to the old demon castle to talk to Hades and Suya went to get supplies finding the hall of Demon King statues

I know this is primarily a joke but I think the gag coulda worked just as well with a previous King or just like an arm. I think this adds to Suyas weird tastes in decor

SO they are having a festival and Twilight at this point knows its better to try and work with Suya than contain her.

He also has learned how best to bribe her but its not perfect yet. She made a Hostage themed cafe so she could still take part.

And he’s just so weak to being an actual bad guy.

He goes along with her nonsense 

He tries to scold her but something unexpected happens, her acting actually kinda works.

Twilight starts to believe Kai’s words that Suya actually did this to help him

So they start walking around the festival like this

(If you ignore some context its kinda like they had a date)

But Twilight is starting to piece together that Suya is up to something

And that was it was all for her own benefit to a contest to get a special item.

So they try to stop her winning from the principal of it.

The elders have hangovers and cause Cursed Musican doesnt want to bother with helping them Suya comes.

And obviously she has no idea how to help with hangovers

And just like that Twilights pure heart was traumatized (also this is fic fuel people don’t make me write it)

Twilight has 99 problems and Suya is the cause of most of them and this chapter is pure gold

I love that Twilight hears her whole explaination before telling her it wrong

But a line of demons show up looking for her help and Suya pulls a Suya

Seeing all these demons here and knowing they likely are too afraid to come directly to him he decides to use Suya to help, and it works out

until it doesn’t

And Twilight begins panicking 

Yeah he totally just looks at Suya platonically (def not poping a boner he doesnt know what to do with)

Demons begin questioning Suya voice so Twilight tries to get Suya to say things in her sleep.

This pure hearted demon will be the death of me

He’s just so overwhelmed but he’s in for another doozy by Suya 

Suya is very perceptive sometimes and knows just how best to compliment Twilight.

He nearly forgets any anger he had with her for a moment. But lets be real were they to date he’d be dragged along by her.

Even though he hated it seeing everyone disappointed makes him consider doing it again. 

#Maou-jou de Oyasumi #maoujou de oyasumi #sleepy princess in the demon castle #sleepy princess #suyalight #demon king twilight #Aurora Sya Lis Goodereste #princess suya #shoujo manga

[anchanted-one]

Legend of Lightning Chapter 63. Choosing Life

https://archiveofourown.org/works/43208574/chapters/114855073

Vajra was starting to find the pleasure in Lightsaber training again. He didn’t have any Lightsabers anymore, as he’d given up the ones Master Satele had loaned him. As a result, he was back to using training sabers, four of them. But even these held Lightsaber Crystals at their cores, and thus had a song.

Once he was able to listen, he was also able to dance.

His blades blazed a blue holopainting above the lawn on the private training yard.

He heard Jasme’s monologue about her upcoming exams—which was punctuated by her applause every time he executed a particularly artful maneuver—with great interest. Kira was there too, as was Bengel Morr, who had volunteered to be his full-time minder.

Kira said nothing, allowing Jasme to fill the heavy silence.

And he was glad she did. The sound of her voice alone was able to calm his still-agitated mind, at least enough to keep his thoughts from straying.

“… I’m confident in all the other courses, but I’m still a little nervous about the combat training,” she said. “I mean, I’m not the worst, since I can hit my targets seventy percent of the time. A stationary target, that is. But a moving one? My hit rate drops to thirty. And I get so nervous when they charge at me! I was thinking maybe I’d take you up on your offer. You remember? You said you’d train me to in the art of the blade. So how about it? Will you teach me Lightsaber 101?”

Caught off guard, his feet skidded across the dirt as he halted. His breathing grew harder, and he started to sweat as he fumbled for words. “Well… that is to say, I—umm…”

After a few seconds went by, he heard the sound of a throat being cleared in front of him. He was shocked to find Kira’s face inches from his nose. How had she gotten so close without him noticing? “Look at her,” she begged. His eyes flinched towards hers before dropping to the ground again. “Look, dammit! Why can’t you look us in the eye anymore?”

“I’m not avoiding…”

“Yes you are,” Jasme breathed. Her chatty tone was gone, as was any hint that she was alright. And of course, she too had managed to appear at his elbow without him noticing. “Vajra… please don’t push us away. It—it’s true that your action hurt us.”

“Then—”

“But we don’t blame you for it,” Kira said forcefully. “I saw how it hit you, remember? It nearly drove you mad. You started hollering like a broken siren, then babbling about Angral and Uphrades. Then you fainted with another horrible shriek. When you woke up—you were different. I knew then, that something had warped. You did your best, you fought hard, held yourself together until you saved Tython. Saved everyone… and I love you for it. You’re a hero for more than just saving a few Jedi, it’s because you stayed strong in a time when most people…” her voice broke, and she hugged him tightly. “When most people would have crumpled.”

Jasme hugged them both from behind. “She’s right. Even Mo—Master Satele was so frightened when she Sensed it happen. Uphrades dying, I mean. She was so scared, she wanted me close by, openly. All the Masters were shitting bricks. And you… you were at ground zero. And you knew some of the victims. I can’t imagine how much worse it was for you, even though Kira told me about it; even though T7 showed me a recording. I’m sorry you had to carry such a flag by yourself, Vajra. But you did. No one is angry with you for being affected.”

“I understand breaking,” Bengel interjected. “Watching those dirty Imps raid the Temple—during a ceasefire, no less; seeing Malgus and his cohorts kill so many of my fellow Padawans. Watching Anya get cut in half by a faceless Sith. Being trapped under that debris, expecting to die buried like that. Did I ever tell you how despair caught up with me so many times? How I almost killed all of my charges so they wouldn’t have to die of thirst?” An ugly look washed over his face. “I still struggle with the darkness born from that day, as do my former charges.”

Vajra had forgotten about them, the children from that day. So much had happened that day, and in the days since. “How are they?” he asked, trying to get his out-of-control breathing to slow down.

“A discussion for later,” Bengel answered. “Simply know that you have nothing to be ashamed for.”

“I still haven’t heard back from Tom,” Jasme confided. “I don’t know if he’s dead or alive. Even though we were always going to end things, I would have loved to be one of his closest friends until the end of my days. I would have liked to be there for him whenever he needed help. I would have dropped almost anything to help him at any time of the day. And strange though it may sound, I’ve come to love you more than I ever did my boyfriend. I will go to the ends of the galaxy for you, unless you decide you don’t want me anymore.”

“What!? No! I could never!”

“Then let me be there for you.”

“It wasn’t so long ago that you saved me, too,” Kira put in. “Do you remember when I showed you my ugly face? I showed you my own inner darkness. And you didn’t hesitate to show me your support. You said you’d have my back no matter what, and I knew you meant it. You’ve no idea how good that made me feel. No one made me feel like family before. Like they’d hold on no matter how bad things got, or how bad I got. And I want to give you back as good as I get. I am your partner in crime for life. Use me. I’ll keep you safe, just as you promised to do for me.”

“You have the utmost love of two of the most beautiful women affiliated with the Jedi Order,” Bengel grinned. “You have more reason than most to survive what assails you.”

“Look at me,” Kira implored him again, and he did.

He was a little taken aback by what effects a few months had had on her. She looked leaner and more muscular. And maybe it was because of the stress she was under thanks to him, but her eyes were hollow and dark. She’d grown out her hair, which was kept out of her eyes by a hairband the same blue as her eyes. She was dressed in the risqué fashion he had seen her pick out for herself.

He turned to look at Jasme then, and was somewhat relieved to find that she, at least, looked like time since his last good look at her—which was probably before Alderaan—hadn’t been a grind. Since she was much taller than most women, she had been a little on the gangly side before, but now she’d filled out, her rounded features made her look more captivating than ever. Her dark hair was done up in an elegant braid resting on her right shoulder, with sideswept bangs resting against her cheeks. She was dressed in a scarlet gown with beautiful golden embroidery, which hugged her comely figure. She had somehow managed to disguise her resemblance to Master Satele with subtle use of makeup, coupled with that style. But her eyes were the same as Kira’s, worried and alert .

Alert for more worrying signs, he guessed. Or perhaps they were that upset by his inability to meet their eyes properly.

“Are we still your friends?” Jasme asked. “We can leave, if you find our presence painful.”

“Jasme!” Kira cried. “Do you really think now’s a good time? You know how he is right now. I wouldn’t trust him to stay hale if he’s free of us…”

“You said ‘free of us,’ right?” Jasme asked. “It’s worrying how accurate that seems to be. I want you to live, Vajra. But I don’t want to chain you to this existence, if it feels too much to bear. If you live, it must be because you want to.”

“Jasme…..” Kira said through very gritted teeth. “What are you thinking? It better not be something like—”

“It’s not,” Jasme said, just as sharpy. “Do you really think we’ll always be around to watch out for him? That’s expecting way too much. Don’t think the Council would allow you to stand against any decision they make. Master Satele may be on our side, but surely you’ve seen by now, how much real power she has? Thanks to the incident with Master Karr, they won’t tolerate loose cannons and rogues.”

The intensity of their anger—misplaced, he wanted to guess—was making him lightheaded. “Master Karr? Nomen Kaar—”

“Not now, Vajra.”

“Is Jaesa alright?”

Jasme gave a sour look. “Worried about her of all people… I imagine she’s fine. She joined the Sith.”

“What?! She fell to the Dark Side?”

“I don’t know about that. Kairegane Rooks is like a more principled Praven.”

“Kairegane Rooks—”

“Please, don’t derail this conversation,” Jasme’s tone was hot. “The point I’m trying to make is that Vajra has to be willing to stand for his own sake, rather than ours. Otherwise, this will just happen again, the next time he’s alone with his demons.”

“I get your point, but you could have brought this up later!” Kira was almost shouting. “With the state he’s in…”

Jasme hesitantly looked down. “Maybe. Maybe…”

Kira snorted like an angry bantha bull. “Well. It’s too late now, precious. I thought you were the smart one in any duo, let alone compared to me!”

Jasme’s mouth opened and closed several times. “I’m sorry, Kira. But… it feels like now is the time, for me. If he wants to walk alone, we can’t have him grow too dependent on us.”

“Can Mommy and Mommy stop shouting?” Bengel interjected. “Baby’s having a panic attack.”

“Don’t be angry with each other,” Vajra gasped, his fingers digging furrows into the ground. “It’s me you’re angry at! Please…”

Jasme picked him up. It was easy to forget that she was much stronger than her frame led one to believe. “We’re getting you back to your bed,” she whispered soothingly. All the tension had vanished, and it was musical as a harp. “Listen to my voice, try to calm down. That’s right…” She led the way, carrying him back to his room. “I love you, little brother. We both do.” She gave him a very firm kiss on his cheek. “And I promise, we’re not angry with you. Just ourselves. So banish that thought. Okay?”

 *

“We messed up,” Kira said after Vajra had fallen asleep.

“Best not to dwell on it,” Jasme said ruefully. She was of two minds right now; one which believed that she’d done the right thing, and the other agreeing with Kira that she’d pushed too fast. One thing was certainly a mistake; getting into such a heated argument right in front of Vajra. It had triggered his not-entirely-irrational fear that they were mad at him, and taking it out on each other. “I need to study for tomorrow’s exam.”

“Go on. I’ll watch over him.”

“That’s my job, you know,” Bengel said. “You should both cool off. You have your own issues to work through.”

There was no arguing good sense, so Kira could do little more than comply. “Just tell me… what do you think he’ll choose?”

“He’ll choose us, of course.”

“How can you be so sure? He’s not the boy we once knew. He’s fragile, weak, and haunted.”

“He’s most certainly still the boy we knew. Being afflicted hasn’t changed what’s at his core. But he needs to realize that for himself. He’s confused that he’s gone and become something else.”

“Like me?”

“You don’t believe that, do you? That’s just your fear talking.”

“Well… you got me there.”

“Vajra is still harboring thoughts of suicide. It’s quite evident. All that’s stopping him from trying again, is us.”

“It’s why he can’t look at us.”

“Exactly. He’s ashamed for having hurt us, and knows that a repeat attempt will sting all the more. But if we give him the option of pushing us away—”

“What will this change? We’re still going to be there for him. He’s still gonna grow dependent on us.”

“But then he’d know he chose life. And that’s something. With a little time, maybe he can find another reason to live, one that doesn’t depend on other people.”

 *

#star wars #swtor #the old republic #star wars the old republic #swtor fanfic #star wars fanfiction #jedi knight #hero of tython

[thelazyhermits]

I just felt like talking about the Hawks & Fortune relationship in TABF, but since that will include his background as well as other manga spoilers, I’ll put everything underneath the cut to avoid accidentally spoiling anyone.

When I first introduced Hawks into TABF in the final chapter, I mostly did it for fun cause I found him to be an interesting character and I thought he and Fortune would have a fun dynamic. 

I didn’t really think about Hawks’ background that was still mostly unknown at that point or about how he was still a relatively new character at that point, meaning there was still much to be learned about him as a whole.

I was also clearly not thinking about all the future manga arcs cause at the time I did not expect for me to end up writing so much more content for the TABF after finishing the main story lol

But I’m really glad that I made that decision to include Hawks when I did, both because Fortune is able to assist with his double agent work and because I just truly think they have a good dynamic that can result in a lasting, strong bond they can both greatly benefit from.

While Hawks really isn’t the type to get overly attached to people due to his upbringing, I feel like he would notice the signs in Fortune right away that point toward her having a background similar to his which would lead to him taking an interest in her, and this would in turn make him want to, for the first time, disobey an order from the HPSC.

At first, he makes the internal defense that he wants to observe her a little longer before sounding the alarm, but after the confrontation about his double agent status, he realizes he really can’t betray this honest girl, who is willing to trust him to that degree, something that he would never expect from anyone.

Sure, he’s got tons of loving fans/admirers who believe in him, but Fortune isn’t trusting him in because he’s a hero. She trusts him as a person. Despite hardly knowing him, she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, and he just doesn’t want to break that trust. 

More than anything, he doesn’t want her wings to be metaphorically clipped like his. He doesn’t want her to end up in the same kind of cage as him, which would absolutely happen if the HPSC got their hands on her. 

I just really think Hawks could use a friend like Fortune who cares about him as a person, who genuinely enjoys his company/talking to him, and who wants him to live not because the world is safer with him protecting it but because he’s her friend and she would be sad if he died.

This friendship really blooms after the Paranormal Liberation Front War, which thankfully ends way better than canon cause Shigaraki never gets revived due to that machine never getting destroyed.

It’s during the Dabi/Gigantomachia confrontation during the TABF version of that war that Dabi spills everything he knows about both Hawks’ and Fortune’s pasts to everyone who’s involved in that battle at the time, so that’s how the two learn about each other’s backgrounds, which are unfortunately pretty similar.

Being how they are, Fortune & Hawks wouldn’t treat each other any differently after learning about each other’s pasts. There’s just this silent understanding shared between them, which helps solidify their friendship.

After the war, I see Hawks being a lot better off due to the HPSC getting attacked liked it did in canon, an event that’s even worse in TABF since that ReDestro clone doesn’t fade away until Hawks finally arrives to take care of it after he subdues Twice and drops him off with the police. 

While obviously there would eventually be replacements for those who were lost, I see most of the corrupt members getting taken out, if not all of them, since that clone could’ve easily killed everyone, so the HPSC would basically be rebuilt from the ground up and hopefully moved in a better direction.

Hawks would basically be a free man at this point since none of the usual people are around to control him, so he can focus on doing what he wants and striving for that dream of a day when heroes have too much free time on their hands.

Overall, his hero work schedule would still be the same since he’ll always be a hard worker, but he’ll get more opportunities to take it easy. During those breaks, I could see him hanging out with Fortune and taking the opportunity to really enjoy personal relationships ‘cause the poor man deserves it.

In summary, I want Hawks to get lots of love and support, so that’s exactly what he’s gonna get lol

#TABF #I just really like this relationship #whether it's platonic or romantic #it's so good #I just want hawks to have friends and be happy

[twoidiotwriters1]

Copycat: Agent Zero —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: I like to think Cat uses her brain whenever she’s helping someone else, cause when it’s her problem she’s like “?? none of my business!” -Danny

Words: 2,140

Phase Four Masterlist

Previous chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘Astronomy’ -by Conan Gray

xxii: Temporary

"Matthew, I'm not asking a second time."

"Good. I have other things to do and this is wasting my time." The lawyer walked past her, she got in his way and kicked his cane aside earning a few looks from the people around her.

"You're gonna accept the money because you need it." She whispered angrily.

"If I were defending you, maybe, but Copycat has gone missing and Peter hasn't murdered anyone, so I'm not taking the money." He replied quietly as well.

"I'll give it to your partner—"

"Don't you dare give Foggy dirty money." Matthew tilted his head as if looking around, she noticed several people were still staring at them. The man seized her wrist and took her outside. "I don't know what you did to get it, but you smell like expensive cologne and fancy furniture—"

"What's important right now is Peter—"

"How are you gonna help him with Russo's money?" Cat looked away but she knew he could still hear her heartbeat. "What the hell were you thinking borrowing money from him? Do your friends know?"

"No."

"I'm not going to accept the money, I'll make sure Foggy doesn't accept the money, and Parker will reject it as well, so you better return it, or use it for something better than bribes."

"I'm not trying to bribe you, Matthew. I want to make sure you'll have the resources to help my friend, I need this to be a certain win!" She raised her voice.

"You want him to be safe? Look for whoever sent that video to the—"

"Beck sent it while he was bleeding out and we were standing there having a moment. It took a few days for it to see the light of day because the Daily bugle didn't find it right away. Mouse figured it out."

"Good. You know what to do now, right?"

She huffed. "No, I don't think I do."

"As long as you stay in the shadows you'll be safe, but C.C. Stark's helping the guy that they believe stole her uncle's tech. You don't work in Stark Industries, so they're gonna watch your every move until they're sure you're not a suspect. Every person you interact with will become a suspect in turn."

"Am I supposed to become a hermit?"

"You'll have to, at least for a while," Matthew tried to sound calm. "Kurt won't be able to see you..." he shook his head. "But you should tell him face to face." Cat wished she could avoid the confrontations, but that was always a part of life. "I think you should go home and rest, and think about what you'll do now. And please, stop taking money from the mob."

When Matthew left, it only took about two minutes for someone to come out and find her.

"Mr. Murdock asked me to give you this," Peter approached with her helmet in one hand. "Thank you for calling him. We're supposed to have a reunion next week to see if they drop the charges."

"That's good," she took the helmet. "Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Hey, was this your plan?" He asked. "You said I couldn't get involved but it's not bad at all."

She put on the helmet and lifted its visor. "You know that mission where I pretended to be a rich British woman?"

"What about her?"

"Fury asked me to finish that before I started my new life, and I thought I could just— you know, frame Billy Russo."

Peter blinked. "You what?"

"I lied to him saying we could make you work for us if we paid for your bail— because Spider-man's bad for business, in case you didn't know. I rambled about how desperate you were so you'd probably say yes—"

"Wait, you're paying the lawyers with bad money?" Peter was horrified. "No, C.C! That's all kinds of wrong!"

"I'm not! Matthew won't accept it, so I guess he's going to work for free like he always does— and he forbid me from giving it to his partner. I'm using the info Russo gave me to crash an illegal auction, I'm gonna buy whatever with the check he gave me, they'll have proof to lock him up, and then the mission will be done!"

"I don't even know where to start— all you said is... that's a massive mess, Cat. Are you the same person that yelled at me for not thinking things through when we were sophomores?"

"Okay, maybe my thinking muscle is a bit out of practice—"

"It's called a brain."

"Brain's an organ, dipshit— oh, you know what I'm trying to say!" She tried to punch his arm.

He dodged her. "No! I don't! Framing a guy for something he didn't do is exactly what's happening to me and you're okay with doing that to someone else?"

"He's a bad guy!"

"Weren't you dating him?"

"It was all an act!" She lightly hit the helmet's front with her fist. "This conversation's going nowhere. Matthew already scolded me, but he's going to get you out of this, and C.C. Stark's going to be followed for a while, so I can't be Copycat anytime soon—"

"Maybe that's for the best."

"Shut up, Captain dork. I assure you Fury will give zero fucks about how I get 'em locked up as long as I fetch all of the bad guys."

"Hey, talking about him, did you know Fury wasn't the real Fury?"

Cat blinked unfazed. "Who told you that?"

Peter gaped. "You knew?"

Before she could explain, the rest of their friends showed up.

"Mr. Parker, I'll call soon. Mrs. Parker—"

"Call me May," the woman said with a smile.

Peter seemed to space out for a moment, and then, out of nowhere, he looked at Cat and questioned her. "Is he the friend you're dating?"

Matthew turned to check on her, he seemed to not have heard the boy's question, but with him, there was no real way of knowing. "Cat... Cat?"

She looked at the lawyer without being able to talk in a normal voice. "Yeah?"

"I asked if you'd like me to walk you home. You seem agitated and it's not safe for you to drive in that state."

"Oh, you got a license?" Peter asked her.

She glared at Peter to shut him up. The boy's ears turned red. "I can take myself home, Matthew, but thanks for asking."

He placed his hand on hers and squeezed a little, a way to let her know he wasn't angry after the argument they'd had. "See you later."

"Did you say a fucking year?"

"More or less," she replied quietly.

"I don't get it," He frowned. "You told me everything was over!"

"Listen, Harley, I might see you sooner if things go well..."

"What things?" He asked in frustration.

"I can't say! Some people are going to get arrested, and once they do, they'll try to get to me and I don't want to put you at risk!" The young man buried his face behind his hands and groaned loudly. To say he was stressed was an understatement. "These types of men... they torture you by killing the ones you love. I need you to be safe."

"You should've thought of that before doing all the dangerous shit."

"When I met you I was knee-deep into it. Hell, I was being followed when I stumbled onto this very same workshop! I can't walk away now, all I can do is try and be better for the sake of my friends."

Harley's mind was swimming in thoughts she could not see. "Are you aware..." he began. "In all those years of knowing each other... we didn't take a picture even once?"

"What?"

"I have pictures of Pietro, but we never thought of doing that, did we?"

She looked at him without really understanding what this was about. "I guess most of the times we hung out weren't exactly happy, and I don't like to have cameras on me, you know that."

"Some of them were good," he said, deep in thought. "But we never think of those, even though they're always happening."

"Perhaps that's exactly why we don't..." she stared at her hands. "We assume we'll always have them, until one day they go away."

Harley replied with a question. "You won't go away forever, right?"

"One time I said I would," she tried to smile, but it was harder than expected. "I came back. It's impossible to leave someone's life if they want to keep you. Especially if you try."

Harley stood from the battered couch he still had in his workshop and hugged her. Cat held onto him without moving from the tall bench. This could be temporary, or their last moment together.

"You'll be okay," he mumbled against her hair. "And we'll take that picture."

She laughed, though the knot in her throat almost didn't let her.

"Shut up."

Cat looked at Wagner with hurt. "I literally just walked in."

"I don't wanna hear it." He was facing the wall, but it didn't stop her from knowing he was upset.

"Who told you?" She frowned.

"I live under a church, Mimi, but I still have wifi," he turned around. "You suck at being a family-friendly hero."

"I know, I miss being a vigilante sometimes..."

"I wonder why I'm here sitting on my ass if you're going to do everything in your power to keep us apart."

"I didn't do it on purpose."

"Looking at it from where I'm standing, it's kind of hard to believe."

"Everyone knows I don't think things through before doing them, so if this comes as a surprise, that's on you."

"You're not being funny."

"I'm not trying to," she sat on his bed, tired. "Since I came back to earth, I've been winging it, and the only reason why it wasn't obvious until now, was that I had things carrying me through. The training, my job at the law firm..."

She lay on the mattress and faced the ceiling, Kurt sat next to her.

"Something up here's not quite right," she tapped her forehead lightly. "When I'm with any of my friends, I almost feel happy, it's easier to feel good about myself when I'm not alone, but then I go back to my place and—"

"You don't have to be alone."

"I made a promise when Tony died— well, I just thought... that I had to face my problems alone. But shit, you guys won't give me up, so I'm stuck between doing things the way I want, and the way you think it's better, and while I decide which one's best I end up getting it wrong."

"Yeah, you're right," Kurt sighed. "You're crazy." She hit his stomach, he swallowed an insult because he was still mindful that they were inside a church. "There's no way I'm convincing you to stay here, right?"

"No, Smurf. Sorry."

"Are you staying in the city, at least?"

"I need to make sure Peter's safe and out of danger."

"What if I teleport to your place from time to time to keep you company?"

"You don't know where I live."

"I would if you teleported me there first?"

She hummed. "I'll think about it. I gotta make sure Cleary won't send people to watch me, though."

"I waited eight years to see you after you escaped, I can wait a few months."

"Maggie said they'll let you wander the city if you want. I can't promise it'll be fun, people aren't used to seeing blue men walking down the street, but the world's slowly getting more visitors from outer space, so at least you won't be an extreme anomaly."

"Great way to cheer me up, Mimi."

"I'm not—"

"I know, I know, you were just being honest," he shook his head. "Why can't you lie to me the same way you do to everyone else? You'd be easier to talk to."

"I'm not done, you jerk," she sat up glaring at him. "I was going to say, that if you want to be left alone, you can use this..." Cat pulled out a small satchel from her pocket, then she pulled out what seemed to be a thin fabric. "This is a Nano Mask, it's meant to hide your face by replicating someone else's."

"Whose face would I be wearing?" He raised a brow, examining the object.

"I toyed around with the configurations, Mouse helped me do it. It's your face, but like, if your face didn't have blue fur and your eyes were honey-like instead of yellow."

"Will I be pale as paper?" He made a face.

Cat laughed. "You can change the tone of skin, you can change the features as you wish, except the shape of your face. As I said, it'll be you."

"Cool..." he tilted his head. "What about the rest of my body, though?"

"Ah, that I can't change," she gave him a small smile. "But gloves and long sleeves are a thing?"

"How am I gonna fit my three sausage fingers into a five-fingered glove?" He pouted.

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to go out," she said defensively.

"I'm just sad I won't be able to hang out with you on my first night out... joining Rocket is starting to sound super tempting..."

"Tell me about it," Cat lamented. "I'd even share a room with Quill..." she shivered. "Forget it, I'm not that desperate."

Next Chapter—>

Taglist.

@mikaelsonwhxrebae​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @ieatpanicattacksforlunch​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @jesuswasnotawhiteman​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @siriuslysirius1107​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @greengarsstuff​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @itsyagirl01​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @23victoria​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @espressopatronum454​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ @jkthinkstoomuch

#twoidiots writing #marvel #marvel fic #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #copycat fic

[firerwolf]

So I finished Sword of the White Horse last night. Maybe I did stay up an extra hour and a half past when I needed to go to sleep to read the final 70 pages. What of it?

Over all it’s a good book. It’s really well written, the main character is good, the use of canon characters is all good. Valka, Eivor, and Hytham all get a chance to shine. It’s not a flawless book. There’s a plot line or two that are sort of just dropped including a named member of the Order of Ancients that just isn’t dealt with. But that seems to all be a result of the fact that the end of the book feels rushed. Like after a particular event some things are just forgotten because the book is racing to its end. Makes me wonder if the author wasn’t given enough time or what. Over all a book that I recommend to any fan of AC valhalla to read.

I’m gonna put the rest of my critique under a cut so to avoid spoilers for people so you’re warned.

So the main issue with the book is the end. Up until the moment when the main character, Niamh, steals Excalibur. It’s sort of her entire motivation the whole book so it’s not a shocking moment but it is the point where the books drops things like the nunnery plot or any concern over Cyrus, a meme bet of the Order who is actively hunting Marcella.

But I could forgive those plots being dropped but not the way it really smooths to quickly over the betrayal. Like the situation is that Hytham has brought Niamh to Eivor and then Eivor and Hytham catch Niamh stealing the sword. And it’s made a point that Hytham is furious about the betrayal. The books has gone to great lengths for people to point out he’s being so trusting and how abnormal that is for him all while Niamh is planning on betraying him. Yeah she wrestles with not wanting to but no time is really given to the effects of that betrayal on Hytham or how it brings his judgment into question not only with Eivor but with Marcella who hasn’t trusted Niamh at all.

There’s like one moment where he’s mad at her when she gets to Ravensthorpe and then right away there attacked and then his anger is just dropped. I get that he reluctantly works with her because, as the book states, he’d put the hidden ones before himself but like he’s not cold to her or standoffish, he just goes right back to being friendly. The ending really needed to be longer for this particular aspect. Like Niamh doesn’t really do anything to earn Hytham’s trust again but the ending can’t happen or have a happy ending without him forgiving her. So no time is able to be given to her earning his trust at all back, he’s basically just forced to take her word for it that Avalon, who she’s given him no information about, would want to Allie with him after the sword is returned with no conversation about why the hidden ones would trust Avalon after the betrayal.

Like she spills information to Valka but not to Hytham who is the one who has given her information about the hidden ones and just got a knife in the back to show for it. I just think the book handles this part really poorly. Like it would have been fine if Hytham had ended out the story still mad at her, agreeing to work with her for the good of the Hidden Ones but without it just suddenly mending bridges Niamh burned. A point made by Niamh is that Avalon keeps to many secrets and is to closed off and no one calls her on how she doesn’t then open and tell them things to build trust it’s just given again without question.

The book only has one like four page chapter from Valka’s view point and none from Hytham’s even though it could have used it near the end. Like it was an Niamh but she splits off so the book has a single chapter of Valka as she and Hytham destroy a fake Excalibur and is the only time Hytham is shown killing a dude.

There is a weird thing where near the end a lot of people aren’t killed. Like Niamh steals the sword and then after Hytham finds her, sends her horse away, she steals another one, and then she’s found again by the Order of the Ancients she kills one dude but leaves the second alive for no reason. Then she’s found again this time by the Descendants of the Round Table and she leaves that guy alive as well. When they’re attacked at Valka’s hut they oddly just knock out most of them, including Hytham knocking out two people with the blade of his sword for some reason, and they don’t kill them afterwords. They don’t even get information from them. It’s just sort of weird how the book is very against the characters killing anyone after the sword is stolen.

Also there’s this thing about Excalibur where it’s supposed to glow for those that are worthy and like I assumed that that was supposed to be a reaction to Isu blood but it doesn’t glow for Eivor but like randomly at the end it does for Niamh after not glowing for her which makes her the next Lady for Avalon and it’s just like…it reminds me of that Monty Python sketch where the peasants are talking about how Arthur was chosen because she was given Excalibur and the peasant says that “You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!!” And like in the end they let a sword choose the leader of Avalon and it just makes me laugh. Also the idea that Niamh would be considered worthy but not Eivor is laughable.

I would have liked it if the book at the end had a chapter from Hytham’s point of view because there is fallout for him for Niamh’s betrayal but the books just ignores it. His rage is never fairly expressed, just likely falter in trust of himself for having trusted her, the actual fallout with Marcella that would have given her good grounds to question him being in charge of the hidden ones in England. This seems to be avoided because with no real purpose there’s this thing where the Order dude Niamh doesn’t kill tells her that the Lunden bureau was burned to the ground but this is waved away in the end so it’s not a good reason to not have a post theft chapter from his view and there’s no good reason that after Niamh returns the sword there couldn’t be an exposition Hytham chapter about the Lunden bureau.

Fuck it maybe I’ll write a fanfiction about his thoughts after the betrayal. Like I don’t have enough to write already.

Still even with the rushed ending the rest is really a good read and a good book.

#assassins creed #ac valhalla #sword of the white horse #Hytham #Valka #Niamh #spoilers under the cut