#because I AM forcing myself to write tonight and tomorrow night !!!

[blaesus]

random starter time !!! if you’d like one, just heart the post.

#because I AM forcing myself to write tonight and tomorrow night !!! #I miss everyone and I really need something to bring my muse back ! #but I will be working on my multi. if anyone is interested in plotting with me. I will gladly add characters just for you

[orikiys]

✿ ✿ 〞voicemails with chan after an argument

✰ genre : angst, romance and fluff in between

✰ pairings : bf!chan x fem!reader

✰ word count : 0.8k+ words

CHAN | minho | changbin | hyunjin | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin

one 𖨂

hey, my beautiful girl. how are you? it’s not the same without you by my side. the house looks wrecked and so am i. i am so so sorry baby for snapping at you last night. i. . . didn’t mean it. i swear. it all happened because of me and my work, and i do accept that. just come back please? i know you’re at your friend’s house but i won’t force you. ever. i just hope we can talk this out thoroughly. please? i love you very much. always know that, yeah? and i’m only a call away if you need me. good night.

two 𖨂

so i didn’t receive an answer back. does that mean you’re going to stay there for a while? alright, i respect your decisions. i always do. you know that right? anyway, today sucked. i kind of twisted my ankle while practising and i tripped over a charger and hurt my chin. it sounds painful but it was even more painful when you don’t reply to my messages, or to my calls and even my voicemails. i fucked up and i know that very well. i may sound selfish but i want you with me. i need you when i wake up and when i sleep. i want to see your face when you smile at me. how long has it been since i last saw you? over 2 weeks i suppose? if you’re listening to my voicemails, let’s meet tomorrow at our usual spot. at 3 i’ll be there. i’ll wait for you even if it takes forever.

three 𖨂

you eventually did show up. to be honest, i was surprised. i didn’t expect you to show up. but i’m glad you did. but i’m not very glad that you almost didn’t speak any other words except for ‘i need time’ and ‘alright’. it was pretty sad. then i realised how bad i must’ve hurt you for you to act this way. and i’ll say sorry a million times if you want me to. i regret ever letting you walk away like that. if only i had tried harder in our relationship we wouldn’t be at this stage where we’re unaware whether we’re together or not. i regret not understanding you earlier and spending my days at the company, rather than with you. i even started taking time out to come home early, at 8. just like you wanted. i even began sleeping on time, but i can’t help myself to fall asleep that easily without thinking how lonely you used to feel when i wasn’t here to hold you or to even talk to you. i regret everything, baby. i really do. i hope you’re happy, not skipping your meals and sleeping for good hours.

four 𖨂

i noticed something fall out of your wardrobe, and even though i respect your privacy, i couldn’t help myself. it was a letter. a letter presumably you wanted to give me, but you couldn’t. and it would be a lie if said i didn’t sit on the floor crying as i read the letter over and over till i had it memorised. you always wanted to write me letters didn’t you? what more do you have up your sleeve? how long are you going to keep impressing me and making my heart flutter like that? you might think i’m being a little too extra today, but it’s true! you can’t just go away after making me fall that deep for you. it’s been three weeks now. how long am i going to be punished? just answer me once. please.

five 𖨂

when i tell you i almost fell off the couch, you won’t believe me. but i almost didn’t believe my eyes when i saw your voicemail. why would you ever be sorry baby? you have all the right to be angry at me. i deserve it. but don’t think you did anything wrong. you just did what you thought was right. and sometimes, it’s better that way you know? like if you wouldn’t have gone away i would just return to my schedule again. i wouldn’t have realised where i was wrong. so don’t blame yourself, okay? as i said before, i’ll wait.

six 𖨂

so this is gonna be the end of all the angsty voicemails as you just called me saying you’ll be coming home tonight. i’ll prepare a welcome dinner for you along with some kisses if you would like. and hugs too perhaps? i am just on my way to clean the house and myself too. since i didn’t shower today, so i’ll see you in about 8 hours. i’m very happy that you’re coming back babe. i love you so much. and i, thank you, for giving me a second chance. i’ll be waiting for you, my love.

#ॱଳ͘ #chan x reader #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #skz angst #bang chan x reader #bang chan #stray kids #chan angst #voicemails with chan #chan x you #skz x reader #skz fanfic

[youunravelme]

jealousy jealousy

author’s note: hi...remember that time i wrote 2 fics and then disappeared? yeah me neither. i promise i’m still here, just trying to figure out life and force myself to write rather than just consume. this is already way too personal for strangers on the internet...anyway, here’s wonderwall (aka the jack x figure skater fic that no one asked for, this takes place in the figure skater universe that i have not written yet).

(oh and if you’re wondering, andrew is your figure skating partner)

jack hughes x figure skater!reader

warnings: nhl violence, cursing

him

it’s not that he hated andrew, it was just he wished he was the only one leaving bruises on your thighs. or the only one who got to kiss your cheek. jack watched from the stands as you two glided across the ice. he’d come to appreciate figure skating in the months you’d been dating ever since you’d forced him to try some of the basics of your sport and he’d fallen on his ass more times than he could count.

so it didn’t bother him, going to your performances, and watching you skate. he just hated how in love you looked when you gazed at andrew. or the way your legs would wrap around his head when just the night before--

he was getting ahead of himself.

at the end of the performance, when your smile was wider than the equator, an older woman to his left said, quite loudly if you asked him, to her friend. “i’m so glad they kept skating together after the break up, it would’ve been a shame to lose such chemistry.”

i’m sorry. 

what?

to say he was pissed when he saw you was an understatement. andrew’s arm around your waist just added fuel to the fire simmering in his chest. it made him want to throw away the bouquet of tulips he got you.

“what’d ya think?” you asked him with the biggest smile on your face, the silver medal dangling from your neck.

“you did great,” he stated, handing the flowers off to you. “can i talk to you?” he glanced at andrew and then the hand that still had not removed itself from your waist. “alone?”

you furrowed your brows but nodded anyway. you squeezed andrew’s arm and mumbled a thank you with a bright smile before following jack into a secluded part of the rink.

“what’s up, baby?”

“were you ever planning on telling me you dated andrew? or were you gonna just keep me in the dark about that?” your face dropped. guess he got his answer. “right. i’ll see you later.” jack moved around you, but your hand grabbed his arm gently.

“jack please, listen i didn’t think it was a big deal--”

“you didn’t think it was important for me to know that the person you spend the most time with, aside from me, is your ex?”

“you didn’t disclose all your exes either!”

“i’m not shoving my crotch in my ex’s face every day, nor am i making goo goo eyes at them for the entire world to see!” you didn’t say anything to that, so he took it as his cue to leave. “you did great tonight,” he said. “but i got to get home. i have a game tomorrow to prepare for.”

he walked away from you, and didn’t bother turning back, not even when andrew passed him and presumably went to your comfort. he didn’t get to see you reject andrew’s hug in favor of pressing the tulips closer to your chest.

when he got home, jack immediately called quinn. “do you have time to talk?”

“would you care if i said no?”

jack paused. “no. look this is an emergency.”

“shoot.”

“so you know the figure skater i’ve been dating?”

quinn hummed. “nice girl.”

“and you know how she has a male partner that she performs with, right?” quinn hummed again. “well apparently they used to date for like two years.”

“she told you that?”

“no, i found out through some random lady’s comment at her performance today. and then i got on the internet and well, i found out they dated for two years.”

“oh.”

“yeah, ‘oh’ is right. i mean why would she keep something like this from me? i’ve been honest, i’ve been working on myself because i thought i was crazy for thinking they had feelings for each other but they used to and hey, maybe they still do--”

“jack, you’re getting ahead of yourself. she’s with you, she likes you.”

“but what if he likes her? they spend all their time together, how am i gonna compete with that?”

quinn sighed into the receiver. “look, i’m by no means saying she should’ve kept this from you, because that’s a shitty thing to do. but as far as i can see? there’s no competition. you’ve already won. you got the girl, okay? he didn’t.”

jack wanted to agree, that at the end of the day, they chose each other. but he still couldn’t get over the thought of andrew’s hands and where they’ve been.

you

okay so you fucked up.

big time.

to be honest, you completely forgot about your past with andrew, seeing as most of it was overshadowed by over a decade of close friendship. but seeing the betrayal on jack’s face made everything ten times worse.

which is why you hesitated on going to his game that night only because you couldn’t decide if not showing up would make things worse or better. you came with andrew, which in hindsight was not the best decision you could’ve ever made, but when the new jersey devils asked you and your partner do to the ceremonial puck drop, your agent made it clear saying no would be a bad idea.

so you texted jack to give him a heads up that the both of you would be there and dropping the puck on orders of your agent but that you would still be watching the game afterward if he wanted you there.

he didn’t reply.

a knock on your door alerted you to andrew’s presence. so you scooped up your purse and put your platform high tops on before grabbing your keys and heading out.

“still nothing?” andrew asked. you shook your head. “do you think he’s being a little dramatic? i mean, he never shared all his exploits with his exes--”

“but he didn’t date a teammate, andrew.” you cut him off. “look, i get you’re trying to be supportive, but i’m in the wrong here.” andrew followed you down the stairs and out to his car.

“would it help if i told him i’m gay?”

“you mean would lying help? absolutely not.” andrew unlocked his car and you both hopped in. “do you need directions?”

andrew laughed. “i think i know where prudential is.”

you held up your hands and looked out the window as you tried to think of ways to somehow make the situation better.

or rather, keep from making it worse.

by the time you arrived at the arena, you were a basket case of nerves, suddenly second guessing every decision you made up to this point. “should i have just worn a t-shirt like you instead of his jersey? i’m wondering if i’m overstepping here.”

“look, there are few things that men love more than seeing their significant others in their clothes.”

“but does that rule apply to when you’re arguing?”

“it could!” andrew stopped you in your tracks, right before entering the arena, with his hands on your shoulders. “look, it’ll be okay. after tonight, if you only wanna hang out when we have practice until it all settles down, that’s fine by me.”

you looked at andrew and then back at the arena.

“okay.”

him

“hughesy, is there a reason your girlfriend asked me who is doing the puck drop?” nico asked him once jack walked into the locker room.

“she texted me earlier, i just haven’t replied. she’s doing it along with andrew,” he grumbled.

“trouble in paradise?”

“it’s a long story. and i don’t really want to talk about it,” he said as he pulled his gear on.

“you sure? might help to clear your head. if you’d like, you can do the puck drop if you want to see her--”

“--nope, i’m fine.” he sat down to put his skates on and stayed silent.

it wasn’t until they got onto the ice that jack started to calm down a little. the rink was his home, a place he could let go. he wasn’t worried about the problems in your relationship at the moment, not when he was playing one of the devils’ biggest rivals: the philadelphia flyers.

the team took a break from the warm ups to have the carpets rolled out for you and andrew. he couldn’t even look at you as you walked out, the announcer sharing all the accomplishments you share with andrew.

he stood to the side, ignoring the jabs from his teammates at the sight of you smiling and laughing. the thought alone had him consider forgiving you, until he glanced up right as andrew nudged you and the jealousy came back with a fiery vengeance. 

it only got worse when he saw nico give you a bear hug and in return you gave him an award winning smile.

honestly.

were you not even torn up about the situation you were in?

you

god, even looking at him hurt.

he didn’t even do you the courtesy of making eye contact, you would know, your eyes had only left his figure to smile at cameras or greet nico or the flyers’ alternate captain. maybe, if jack decided he actually wanted to be with you still, you could ask him who the hell that guy was.

when you and andrew turned around, he held the puck out for you. “you want it?” he asked.

you shook your head. “i’d rather have one that jack gave me, than remember the night he ignored me the entire time.”

him

was that his jersey you were wearing?

honestly he spent so much time trying not to look at you that the 86 on your sleeve didn’t pop out at him until you turned around and his teammates started catcalling at the sight of his last name on your back.

“that your girl, hughes? or just a fan?” mercer teased.

“shut up,” jack grumbled, but the heat in his cheeks was telling enough. he watched as you made your way back to the stands before he had to focus on getting his mind ready for the game, and much of that included forgetting what happened the day prior.

which he would love nothing more than to do.

you

“is this your first game wearing his jersey?” andrew asked as you took your seats.

you nodded, nervously wringing your hands as you watched him sit on the bench cheering on his teammates. there was no reason for you to be that nervous, but you couldn’t help but feel antsy anyway.

“hey,” andrew started. “what’s wrong?”

“i don’t know, maybe i’m still upset at myself? or scared he’ll break things off with me?”

your partner laughed. “that boy is too in love with you to break up after one incident. besides, you didn’t cheat you just--”

“forgot to tell him a key piece of information.”

“look, it’s not like you kept it from him maliciously. and given time, he’ll understand that.”

“i guess you’re--” you cut yourself off when jack got on the ice, your nerves shooting up tenfold. you watched him like a hawk, even if he didn’t have the puck.

hell, you weren’t even sure if andrew was talking to you because of how dialed in you were.

you didn’t move, you weren’t even sure you were breathing, until he scored, not even two minutes into being on the ice. you jumped from your seat and screamed, probably looking like a maniac or a fangirl.

you would consider yourself both at that point.

you watched as his teammates came up to hug him and slap his helmet. he spared a glance in your direction, giving you enough time to smile and give him a little wave. you fully expected him to ignore you like he’d done all night, but when his hand lifted up and waved back, you were on cloud nine.

the game started back up again and so did your excitement. 

until jack was slammed against the boards across the rink from you. if it weren’t for andrew’s hand holding your forearm in your seat, you would’ve jumped and yelled at the refs to do something.

“that’s not fair!” you shouted.

“it’s hockey,” andrew said like that was explanation enough.

“and? he just body checked him! jack is like 115 pounds soaking wet and that man--”

“--farabee--”

“--has like fifty pounds on him!”

“he actually doesn’t.” you whipped your head at andrew, ready to yell at him. “look, jack is fine. that’s why they wear pads. it’d be concerning if he was wearing a leotard like you and getting bodychecked, okay? this is the nature of the game.”

you crossed your arms. “i think it’s bullshit.”

him

he really hated farabee. and maybe hate was a strong word, but it felt like every two seconds he was getting checked into the boards which would’ve been fine if you weren’t there to see it happen.

“c’mon hughes, this is getting embarrassing.” was farabee’s latest quip of the night. and while he was no stranger to trash talk, something about the glint in farabee’s eyes was getting under jack’s skin. “that your girl right there?” he pointed to you while your brows were furrowed and head tilted. it would’ve been cute had farabee’s sudden interest in you not sent a cold chill down jack’s spine.

“shut up,” he grumbled before shoving his way past farabee in pursuit of the puck. but joel kept after him.

“she’s a looker, don’t ya think? how’d you manage to hit that?” jack’s fists clenched. “be honest, did you have to bribe her to go out with you? how much it cost? she looks like she’d be a good time--”

jack shoved him up against the boards. “shut the fuck up,” he all but growled before skating off.

keep your cool, jack. he’s just an asshole, you’ve dealt with assholes before.

he had the puck and was about to shoot before he was checked again, this time the wind being knocked from his lungs as joel stood over him. “go sit on the bench, hughes, while i go show your puck bunny a good time.”

that was it.

jack stood as quickly as he could and shucked his gloves off. 

you

horror was the only word you could use to describe the feeling that came over you as jack threw the first punch. you’d seen many of his games, often going back and watching clips on youtube, and never once have you seen him fight.

until today.

you were on your feet, clutching andrew’s arm, your fingernails digging into his arm. “oh my god,” you breathed.

you weren’t sure your jaw could drop any more than it already was. jack’s helmet came off first, but the other guy, “farabee” according to andrew, hit the ground first. jack was yanked down a second later.

if you were strong enough to break the glass, you would’ve just to get to him. because the punches didn’t stop, there was red on the ice, and you weren’t sure who was bleeding.

you hoped it was the other guy.

the refs split them up pretty quickly after farabee hit the ground. jack got up with blood trickling from his nose and lip, but looked otherwise unharmed. you didn’t care enough to look at the other guy.

“and keep her name out your mouth,” jack yelled across the ice as a ref ushered him to the penalty box.

your brow furrowed. surely he wouldn’t be dumb enough to...

you glanced at andrew who looked just as flabbergasted. “was that over...?” you trailed off.

“you or his mom,” andrew shrugged. a beat passed. “told you that toothpick loves you.”

him

his head felt ready to explode. though he wasn’t sure if it was because of the blood pumping from his nose or the rage he felt just a few seconds ago. but as the metaphorical dust settled, he searched the crowd for you only to find your eyes already on him.

you okay? you mouthed.

he nodded and drew his attention back to the game. he couldn’t look at you too long before getting angry again, this time, not at you but at the reminder of what farabee had said about you.

you might scold him for it later, in fact, if he was a betting man, he would’ve put money on the fact that you would, but it didn’t matter to him. normal trash talk was fine but involving you? poking an already open wound?

but he didn’t have time to worry about it, he’d figure it out after the game when he could touch your skin and assure himself that you wouldn’t leave him for someone else.

the second he was released back into the game, he came back with a vengeance. the fight wasn’t enough, he was going to score as many points as he could to beat their asses into the ground.

he was going to do it.

you

there was no way jack was human. or at least, not a superhero of some kind. there had to be some higher power that possessed your boyfriend’s body because he was a very good hockey player?

but that night? he was next level.

by the end of the game, he’d scored 4 points alone, and assisted nico in the one other point made by someone who wasn’t him. when the final buzzer blew, the score was 5-2, with new jersey taking the win.

“your boyfriend is insane!” andrew yelled over the cheers.

you smiled. “i know.”

the both of you walked towards the locker rooms, flashing your lanyard at security to let you through. 

“do you want me to wait for you?” andrew asked.

you shook your head. “i’ll get jack to take me home.”

“and if he doesn’t?”

“he will. especially when he finds out you left me.” andrew hugged you goodbye and departed towards the parking lot while you waited for jack to walk by. nico was first, smiling and hugging you quickly before heading back to the locker rooms. jack’s other teammates file out and wave, some stopping to give you a fist bump. 

unsurprisingly because fate was funny like that, jack was one of the last to head your direction. part of you seized up with fear, wondering if he was still mad about andrew, but the smile he gave you relaxed your shoulders.

jack dropped his helmet and stick in favor of holding you close. he held you tighter than normal, an arm around your waist, a hand in your hair, his face in your neck. 

“you okay?” you asked, trying to pull back to get a look at his face, but he only squeezed you tighter.

“i’m fine. just glad you’re here,” he mumbled into your neck. a beat passed before he pulled away and just stared at you. “did you drive here?”

you hesitated on telling him the truth, not wanting to ruin the moment but ultimately deciding lying would ruin things further. “i rode with andrew. he went home.” jack’s gaze darkened just a hair. “but i was hoping i could ride home with you.”

he nodded before leaning in to kiss you, pouting when you pulled out of reach. “baby--”

“your lip is split, hughes.”

“so?”

“i don’t wanna hurt you.”

“you’re hurting me now by not kissing me.” you sighed and gave in, your lips meeting his gently. 

“there, you happy?”

“nope,” he said, leaning back in.

“easy there, cowboy,” you laughed into his lips and placed a hand on his chest. “you need to shower.” you wrinkled your nose as the smell hit you finally.

“you mean you don’t love me as i am?” he teased.

you froze. you had yet to say those words but he didn’t seem to notice before someone was calling him away. “go,” you pushed him lightly towards the locker room. “i’ll be here.”

he kissed you one last time before running down the hall with his things.

you patiently waited for the thirty or so minutes it took for jack to get ready and speak with his teammates. he came out freshly showered and smiling despite the split lip.

“you ready?” he asked.

“i was waiting on you,” you replied.

jack rolled his eyes but tossed his arm over your shoulder and pressed a kiss to the side of your head anyway. the both of you stayed silent until you got in the car.

“do you wanna tell me what the fight was about?”

jack’s hand paused over the keys in the ignition before he turned the car on and shifted gears into reverse. “it’s nothing.”

you rolled your eyes. “you mean to tell me you got a split lip over nothing? i thought you valued honesty.”

jack sighed and put the car into drive. “he was making comments about you and i couldn’t stand to listen to them anymore.”

“what did he say?”

jack’s jaw clenched, as did his hands on the steering wheel. “it doesn’t matter. it’s over with.”

“if it bothered you, it matters, jack.”

“i’m not comfortable repeating it,” he said. “it’s over now, let’s just go home.”

you paused. “your home or mine?”

he reached over the center console and held your hand. “mine, if that’s alright.”

you nodded, words failing you for a moment. the air still felt tense, though you weren’t sure if it was from the argument you had or the game itself.

but it was the lack of communication that got you here in the first place, so you spoke up. “are you still mad at me? because i don’t blame you if you are, i just thought i’d ask.”

jack was quiet for a moment, letting your words permeate the air. “not really, but i’m still confused as to why you didn’t tell me you’d dated andrew before.”

some deep-seated part of you wanted to shrug it off, but you knew you might view it as casual, he might take it as being flippant. “it was so long ago,” you started. “and when i look at him, i don’t see my ex, i just see my friend who’s grown up with me.”

he nodded, hand still clutching yours. “what do you see when you look at me?”

you swallowed down the fear building in your chest. you hadn’t said those three words yet, but maybe now was the time? andrew’s words kept repeating in your head. told you that toothpick is in love with you.

you breathed.

“i see the love of my life.”

#jack hughes imagine #jack hughes x reader #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #jack hughes #my writing

[damon-loves-pie]

“Thank You For Still Playing.”

Pairing: Eddie Munson x female reader.

Word count: About 3,300 words

Warnings: 18+, setting is mostly at a bar and all that goes with it, emotional talks about family, implied abuse but nothing descriptive, Enemies to lovers implied, fake relationship. (I think that is all. Please let me know if I missed something.) 

Summary:  Robin wants a fun night out and drags reader to Eddie’s show at the hideout even though Eddie and reader don’t always gets along. Steve meets someone who is insecure about reader and he states reader is dating the lead singer of the band, Eddie Munson, Not expecting the musician to join them. After talking both of them realize all their anger stemmed from something that happened in middle school. 

Author’s note: I am going to be completely honest, I didn’t plan for this story to end up like this. I had a whole different ending in mind but decided to go a different route halfway through. But I am actually super happy with how it turned out! 

I hope you enjoy as much I did writing it! 

Writing Masterlist

------

"Come on (Y/N), it would be fun and you like that kind of music anyway." Robin begs while I'm stocking the romance section, looking like she's thinking about getting on her hands and knees.

She had been asking me all week to go out with her this weekend.  

"Why would I want to go see Eddie Munson's band play at some shitty little bar?" I ask her, glancing up from the pile of tapes in my hand with an eyebrow raised.

"Because the drinks are cheap?" She shrugs sheepishly making me roll my eyes in response since the drinks at my house are cheap too.

Feeling defeated Robin moves and leans against the rack I was working on.

"Come on, please. I just need a fun night." Robin pleads, as I shake my head in rejection to her invite.

"Aren't you going with Steve? He's fun sometimes." I shrug, placing the last tape onto the shelf.

"Yes, but he's Steve and I need someone who's actually fun and won't leave me to talk to girls." She explains motioning over to the register where he was flirting with another customer yet again. Sighing I turn back towards her, desperation screaming in her eyes.

I guess I could deal with being around Eddie Munson for a few hours.

"Okay, I'll-

"Yes! Thank you! Thank you! You don't understand how bad I need this." She thanks excitedly, clapping her hands together tightly.

"Only, and I mean only if you buy me at least one drink every hour we are there." I finish, pulling away from the rack.

"Anything you want, it's on me. I promise. We're going tomorrow since Becky and Keith are closing." Robin tells me, still smiling as we start to walk up to the register.

"And Steve here will be picking us up at eight." Robin continues, placing her hands on the counter.

"You actually got miss stick in her ass to agree to going?" Steve jokes, leaning towards us as I huff.

"I do not have a stick in my ass!"

"You do when it comes to Eddie." Robin admits as my mouth drops more.

"Thank you!" Steve says to her lifting his hand up.

"I do not have a stick in my ass when it comes to Eddie. He's just a dick to me for god knows what reason and I'm not going to force myself to be in situations with him on purpose." I say defensively seeing Steve rolls his eyes at me.

"I think you two just need to fuck out your problems if I'm being honest." He mumbles under his breath.

"As if that would ever happen." I grimace leaning onto my elbows, shaking my head.

"Wouldn't be the strangest thing to happen after everything." Robin reminds me as a customer walks in,  taking us back into the reality of our job the rest of the night.

It was leaning close to eight and I still wasn't ready to go.

If I'm being honest, I don't know what to wear tonight. Robin wants a fun time so do I dress up for that? Or do I dress down so Eddie didn't think I was dressing up see them play like some groupie?

Normally I wouldn't care what someone would think about what I wear and when but I already wasn't wanting to spend my night off at the local dive bar and didn't know what tonight actually had in store.

Settling on a short plaid skirt and plain black top I decided this would have to do tonight, slipping on a pair of fishnets and boots with it.  

It was not too much, but not too casual either which was perfect for what I was going for.

Steve and Robin arrived right on the dot, excited to go out for a change.

The bar was pretty full already as we arrived with it being a Friday night, the people of the town wanting to head out for a good time.

"Want a drink?" Robin asks us as we make our way to the bar.

"I need a drink." I laugh, eyes focusing on the crowd as I scanned threw.

Adverting my eyes to the stage I see Mr. Munson already staring with a smirk playing on his lips as we make eye contact.

"Oh god." I breathe, turning around quickly towards the bar.

"What?" Steve asks confused, turning around to see Eddie walking towards us.

"Hey, you guys made it to a show." Eddie smiles giving Steve and Robin a side hug while I tried to not look at them, tapping my fingers lightly on the counter.

"Well I wanted a night out and figured I could support a friend, a local business, and have a fun night all in one." Robin tells him, taking a seat onto one of the stools.

"Mmh, funny to see you here (Y/L/N)." He says directly to me,  leaning against the counter next to me.  

Adverting my gaze to his cocky brown eyes, I see the bartender approaching from the corner of my eye.

"You have Robin to thank for that." I say coldly to him before turning towards the pretty brunette who making small talk with Robin and Steve.

"Wouldn't dare to think you came here on your own will." He chuckles, leaning in closer to get her attention.

Tapping the counter he leans back,

"Lane, put these three's first round on my tab." He asks, backing away from the counter.

"These are my friends- well most of them." He finishes, sending me a wink as he goes to head back on stage.

"God he's such a dick." I tell them as I sip on straw.

"You took the free drink he bought you though." Steve reminds me as I knock my shoulder lightly against his.

"I would take a free drink from almost anyone." I argue as Robin laughs.

"Girls man." Steve shakes his head, spinning the stool to face the counter.

Giggling with Robin, I turn around to face the counter with him.

"Steve babe." I ask as he raises an eyebrow suspiciously.

"What do you want?" He asks.

"Since you're already probably going to be spending some money buying girls who have no interest in getting laid tonight drinks, - why don't you start with buying a round of shots for the two you know are going home with you?" I ask nicely, batting my eyelashes.

Steve goes to speak but looks defeated waving Lane over.

"To tonight." Steve says, holding up his drink.

"To tonight!" Me and Robin cheers, clinking ours with Steve's.

3 shots in and a mixed drink, I was starting to feel really good. The anxiety about tonight faded away as I realized I started swaying to the sound of Eddie's voice.

"You know, their band actually isn't terrible. I think I would be okay coming again." I tell the two as they nod.

"From what I heard before we got too far away in the upside down, he was great." Steve agrees.

"They are starting to get more recognition, they've been playing weekend shows the past month because more people keep requesting them." Robin tells us, leaning in so we could hear.

Nodding, I take a sip of my drink seeing Robin tapping her foot to the beat of the music.

"Want to go dance in the front?" I ask as she smiles, clearly surprised as I stand up.

"You wanted a fun night right?" I tell her, grabbing her hand.

Turning towards Steve, I laugh.

"Consider the stick removed for the night." I joke, waving him off as we go to move to the front of the stage.

Standing below the stage I started to sway my hips, holding hands with Robin as we cheered with the rest of the crowd.

Sending us a quick wink Eddie continued singing, the vein in his neck sticking out as he belted out the lyrics.

He actually looked kind of hot like this, his bangs sticking to his forehead as his fingers moved skillfully up and down the neck of his guitar, the other hand plucking at the strings.

If he wasn't such a dick, he would of looked fuckable.

Shaking the feeling off I turned towards Robin, waving our arms up in the air with the crowd.

After getting refills we found a table since the bar was full, taking a seat as Steve came up quickly, bending over to whisper at me and Robin.

"I don't have time to explain but I may have to find you guys other rides home and (Y/N) the girl walking up thinks you're dating a member of the band because she was worried about you." Steve scrambles to get out as we're approached by a blonde in a red dress before I could even question why he would say that.

"Erin! These are my friends and coworkers, (Y/N) and Robin. The one's I told you about." Steve smiles as she waves.

We all exchange introductions while she took a seat, smiling as we all discussed how the night was going.

"Did you guys enjoy the show?" Eddie asks walking up to our table as Erin's eyes grew.

"This is your boyfriend right?" She asks me causing my mouth to fall open.  

Eddie chuckles nervously, eyes roaming the girl as he see's Harrington's hand on her knee.

"Steve, why would you tell her that?" I ask him sternly as Erin looked confused between us.

Steve turned pale stuttering when Eddie wraps an arm around my shoulder before taking a seat next to me.  

"It's okay sweetheart, there's no reason to keep it a secret anymore. It's not Steve's fault." He plays as Erin smiles.

I look at Eddie who motions his eyes to Steve.

"Right." I agree knowing I should help my friend, turning towards the couple.

"It's just we thought it would be better to keep our relationship private for the sake of the band's fans." Eddie explains to Erin.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I shouldn't of told her. How about I go get a round for all of us to apologize?" Steve asks standing up.

"I'll help you." I tell him, removing Eddie's arm off of me.

We smile to the others before heading over to the bar.

"Steve why would you do that to me!" I whisper yell at him, smacking his arm slightly.

"I'm sorry, Erin thought you were my type and wondered if there was anything between us. I panicked and that was the first thing that came to my mind." He explains.

"God you are so lucky I love you." I groan.

"I'll cover any two nights you want at work." He offers as I glare at him.

"Four." I argue.

"Three." He retaliates as I sigh knowing it wasn't getting any better than that. He had gotten used to arguing with the kids.

"Deal." I tell him as he orders the drinks.

"So (Y/N), Eddie here says you play the guitar as well?" Erin asks as we arrive back at the table.

"Yeah actually I do." I tell her as Eddie scoots closer to me.

"She beat me in our middle school talent show with her skills." Eddie informs her as I glance over at him.

"Oh yeah, I remember you won that year." Robin snaps pulling my attention towards her.

"Was a lot for a young boy to take." Eddie laughs, nudging his shoulder with mine.

"You two look like you work great together." Erin awes at us.

"Yeah, I look up to the relationship these two have. Hoping one day I'll be as happy as they are." Steve agrees as I shoot daggers at him.

Gareth walks up tapping Eddie on the shoulder, giving us a confused look as Steve pleads with his eyes, worried his cover was about to be blown.

Gareth shakes his head, not even wanting to know what was going on with Eddie now as he goes to speak.

"Hey man, the van is loaded up but I'm going to go ahead and head home in a little while." He tells him.

"Could I catch a ride with you actually?" Robin asks standing up nervously.

"Wait how am I going to get home?" I ask her, holding her arm.

"Why can't Eddie take you since he's your boyfriend?" Erin asks confused.

"Boyfriend?" Gareth asks turning towards us.

"Yeah boyfriend Gareth. It's alright, we're telling people now since Steve spilled the beans. The band's fans will be fine." Eddie tells him winking as Gareth catches on that it's Harrington's fault.

"Oh, okay well that's good to know. And yeah Robin I'll give you a ride, come on." He motions towards the exit.

"Yeah we should probably get going too sweetheart." Eddie asks, connecting his hand with mine.

"We should shouldn't we?" I agree, wanting to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

"It was great meeting you Erin, and I hope we get to spend some time together soon." I smile, standing up.

"That would be great! Maybe we all could go on a double date sometime!" She suggests.

"That would be great! Steve we can talk about it Monday at work." I tell him, grabbing Eddie.

"Hope you two enjoy the rest of your night and thank you for coming to the show." He smiles, bowing slightly as I grab his hand to lead him outside.

"God I'm going to kill Steve." I groan as the cool night air hits my face.

"Come on it wasn't that bad." Eddie chuckles, motioning his pack of cigarettes towards me.

"Yeah, I'll take one." I sigh, grabbing the pack and lighter from him.

"Guessing I need to take you home?" He asks leading me towards his van.

"Yeah," I sigh stopping as he goes to walk to the drivers seat.

"Wait, fuck." I curse, pulling on my hair.

"What is it?" Eddie asks, walking back towards me.

"I can't go home tonight. I was supposed to crash at Steve's." I tell him, throwing my hands into the air.

"God I am going to kill him." I say taking a drag, Eddie sits there quietly smoking his cigarette before he scratches the back of his head.

"Look, I know it's not ideal. But if you're going to get in trouble going home, you could just crash at my place. I'll sleep on the floor, it's not a big deal." He offers. Inhaling, I look at him.

"You would really be okay with that?" I ask him.

"I mean yeah, I wouldn't want you to get hurt or something." Eddie shrugs.

"What do you mean get hurt?" I raise an eyebrow as he blows out smoke.

"Look (Y/N), it's a small town. Everyone knows how your dad is." He says quietly as I go to turn around, not feeling like being judged.

"(Y/N), I didn't mean anything bad about it. Hell my father was the same way." Eddie tells me, grabbing my hand.

"I'll just wait 10 minutes and call Robin and ask if I can crash there." I tell him.

"Come on, you know Buckley is going to be passed out as soon as she see's her bed. She's such a lightweight." He reminds me as I sigh.

"God, you're right." I agree, moving side to side on the heels of my feet.

"I'll stay the night with you I guess." I tell him as he leads me to the passenger side, opening the door for me.

"Don't worry about getting in trouble here, Wayne won't care and he's at work tonight anyway." Eddie says letting me into the trailer.

"My bedroom is back here." He motions as I follow him through the kitchen and down the hall.

His bedroom seemed to fit him as he hung up his guitar.

It was defiantly messy, meaning he probably didn't expect anyone to come back with him.

Clothes were thrown around the floor, mello-yello bottles littered across the stand and dresser.

Posters and handcuffs on the wall? My eyes widen as he notices my gaze.

"Oh uh, one of Hopper's stupid deputies tried arresting me for a joint my junior year but I managed to get away from him." He chuckles, playing with his rings.

"It was officer Callahan wasn't it?" I laugh, raising a brow at him.

"Yeah, it was." He tells me, smiling as he headed towards his dresser.

"He totally sucks." I smile.

I watched quietly while he rummaged through his drawers pulling out a worn out Metallica shirt and some boxers.

"Here, I know that your clothes couldn't possibly be comfortable to sleep in no matter how much you had to drink. The bathroom is the next room over." Eddie says handing me the clothes.

"Thank you." I mutter going to change.

When I come back the room looks cleaner and Eddie himself was in an old t-shirt and boxers as well.

"Like I said you can have the bed and I'll lay here." He motions towards the partially made bed.

I crawl in being ingulfed by the smell of old spice, weed, and cigarettes, realizing that's what I smelled when Eddie wrapped his arm around me.

"Goodnight, Eddie." I say as he turns off the light.

"Goodnight." He tells me.

I close my eyes waiting for sleep to take over hearing Eddie rustle below me.

This goes on for about 30 minutes till I speak up.

"Eddie, you can just lay up here with me if you want. I know it has to be uncomfortable down there." I sigh.

"Are you sure?" He asks as I hum in response.

I hear movement as he places his pillows onto the bed before crawling on.

We both lay there quietly in the dark.

"Are you awake?" Eddie asks, turning his whole body towards me.

"Yeah, I'm awake." I tell him, looking over.

"I couldn't stand you in middle school." He admits to me.

"In middle school? I thought you couldn't stand me now?" I ask, turning towards him.

"I was so angry a girl as pretty as you, could sing and play the guitar better than me." He laughs as I smile slightly.

"So that's why you don't like me? Because I won our middle school talent show?" I question.

"To be honest, I think it's because I knew you wouldn't have noticed me back then. I didn't have much, my hair was buzzed and I constantly wore hand me downs my uncle found at the thrift store since my dad had just been arrested. So it was easier to act like I didn't like you." Eddie says to me.

"But we aren't in 8th grade anymore? Why do you still give me attitude ninety percent of the time." I ask him.

"Sometimes when I'm on that stage I think about how it felt to not win when that's all I had to be excited for at the moment and I'm realizing it wasn't your fault especially since you went through your own hard times. " He sighs, before continuing.

"I just want to say I'm sorry, and that I've actually always thought you were pretty awesome." Eddie finishes.

"Can I tell you something?" I ask him.

"Hm?" He questions.

"You were never invisible to me, even back then. Plus no matter how mean you've been, I've always thought you were pretty awesome too." I admit, moving closer to him.

Tension started to build as we sat there.

"Can I kiss you?" Eddie barely whispers.

"Please." I smile, feeling his hands wrap around to pull me closer as I grip his shirt slightly.

Eddie's breath lingered on my lips before he softly pressed his against mine, my hand resting on his chest.

The kiss was soft and tender, pulling emotion from the conversation that just happened while we let ourselves go into the kiss.

"Thank you for coming tonight." He thanks, pulling away.

"Thank you for still playing." I tell him.

#eddie munson #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson smut #eddie munson angst #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x female reader #stranger things #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x you #joseph quinn imagine #joseph quinn x reader #joseph quinn x female reader

[valeriianz]

so, i HAVE an idea for something 00's romcommy (thanks to @carnelianmeluha and @wordsinhaled) but as i was writing it, i thought to myself, "but they need backstory!" and what was going to be just a few paragraphs of introspection turned into a 3.3k high school AU set in the 90s. so, have this for now. part 2 will be up whenever i feel like it :)

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“Dream!”

Hob found him in a corner, blending into the shadows and had to laugh as he looked up at the sound of his name. He was wearing black, as usual, with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his tight jeans.

“So glad to see you here.” Hob said as he approached, looking upon his friend with a little less restraint than he typically allowed. The vodka-spiked punch was hitting him hard.

Dream relaxed a modicum, his shoulders visibly drooping as his chin tilted up.

“I am only here because you invited me.”

Hob’s smile only widened as he leaned forward. 

“Then I’m flattered. Do you want a drink?”

Dream shrugged and Hob laughed again, turning halfway and inclining his head for Dream to follow him.

Hob, despite being in with the more popular kids in his grade, wasn’t the biggest fan of house parties. He knew Dream wasn’t either; moreso, in fact. Dream was more likely to be found spending his Friday nights cooped up in the library, nose stuck in a book.

But tomorrow they were graduating from high school, and Hob’s parents weren’t coming back from their anniversary trip until the morning. Which meant this was Hob’s last chance to throw an epic rager. 

Though Derek Gallagher, the star athlete of their high school’s football team, was also throwing a party tonight, so it was less of a rager going on here, and more of a casual hang sesh. Hob couldn’t complain though. At least he liked the dozen or so people in his parent’s house, and at least cleaning up the next day wouldn’t be impossible. And no one had messed with the volume control for the music yet; 90s hip hop and r&b dripping through the entertainment system. 

Hob nabbed a red solo cup and ladled out the sweet drink into it, passing it along to Dream, who took it with a suspicious look before taking a sip.

Dream immediately blanched.

“Oh. That’s awful.”

Hob laughed again before biting his bottom lip. Dream didn’t seem to mind though, his own little smile peeking through.

“You can dilute it with more juice in the fridge, if you want.”

Throughout the evening, Hob tried to keep his attention on more than just Dream at his side, chatting with his fellow classmates and laughing along to stories and jokes, one last go at clearing up the rumor mill.

And though Dream mostly kept quiet, he did acknowledge those who greeted him, congratulated him on getting into a university in England, how fun it was going to be moving overseas, to which Dream hummed and nodded politely.

Hob was the only one who knew the truth: that Dream’s parents were sending him away. That while Dream had been accepted on an academic scholarship, it was only because his family had set it up for him. Had forced him to apply, had paid for his application and was having him shipped off next month, when Dream would turn 18 and they didn’t have to keep him in their house any longer.

What looked like a privileged situation was actually cruel and heartbreaking. Yes, Dream was going to Oxford. That was insane. Yes, his stupidly wealthy parents were paying for his room and board and what tuition the scholarship didn’t cover. But it was only a drop in the bucket for them. They saw Dream’s future more as a promising investment for when they grew old and needed Dream’s career to take care of them. Not as if they had plenty of money stowed away to keep them afloat during retirement and then some. Or plenty of children, for that matter.

And of course to say they had yet another child in some prestigious university didn’t hurt their reputation either.

Hob managed to derail the subject every time it came up, of where everyone else was going to college. It was inevitable, discussing the future with his classmates, given the timing. But Hob could see Dream sinking more and more into himself as the night went on, holding onto his drink more for his hands to be occupied than anything else.

“I know,’ Johanna announced suddenly, hours bleeding into the late evening. “Let’s liven things up a bit.”

She had several hands help clear a large area in the living room as she procured the empty vodka bottle, shaking it with a drunken twinkle in her eyes.

“Truth or dare, motherfuckers.”

The party, which had been dying down, suddenly turned up again. Everyone refilled their drinks and formed a large circle on the floor. 

Dream plopped down next to Hob, folding his legs and throwing a lazy, tipsy smile at Hob. Who had to take another sip of his drink to keep himself from doing something drastic. Like tell Dream how cute he was right now. 

His coal black hair was a mess, sticking up and curling around his ears from the excessive amount of times Dream had run his hand through it. His boots were off, his sock-clad toes wiggling in anticipation. And his blue eyes seemed to shine, reflecting off the Christmas lights Hob had hung around the house for the party.

The game started and everyone played along, turning up the stakes and performing various wacky scenarios that only teenagers were capable of escalating. Cori licked Alex’s eyeball on a dare, erupting a chorus of screams and gags and Alex furiously rubbing his eyes afterward. On a demand for truth, Rachel confirmed the rumor that she’d fingered Johanna under the bleachers freshman year to an absolute assault of jeers and hooting and hollering, causing the extremely rare sight of Johanna flushing scarlet from her ears down to her neck. 

Naturally the game turned racy after that. Dares to kiss and show off hidden tattoos. Truths to admit who fucked whom and what would you do for such-and-such.

Hob feels himself getting warmer. And not to mention Dream, who remained seated next to him during this entire debauchery, becoming increasingly more uncomfortable as the game wore on. Hob could sense him slowly slipping out of the circle, until his knee lightly touched Hob’s hip, instead of where it had been for the better part of half an hour, resting against his thigh.

Hob turned, finding Dream staring down into his empty cup, turning it around and around in his grasp, and had just opened his mouth to comfort him, when Johanna piped up across from him.

“Hob, truth or dare.”

Hob’s head swung forward, eyes falling on the bottle top pointing directly at him. He sniggered softly, taking another peek over at Dream and finding his eyes now on him. Hob gently laid his hand over Dream’s foot, giving it what he hoped was a comforting squeeze before facing Jo again.

Truth be told, Hob was feeling much too invigorated from the alcohol, and he’d been waiting for his time to shine. Hob loved making a spectacle and so let his smile turn into a smirk, meeting Jo’s challenging stare head on.

“Dare.”

A collection of “ooh”s and delighted giggles spread around the circle.

“Good choice, Hobsie.” Her own brown eyes sparkled with mirth. Hob wasn’t sure when Rachel had crawled into her lap, but didn’t let it distract him from her next words. 

“I dare you to…” Jo tilted her chin, tapping it in mock consideration. “Kiss the person the bottle next lands on.”

Oh, easy, Hob thought. About to open his mouth to say so, when Jo spoke up again.

“With tongue.”

“Pfft,” Hob sat up, pushing his chest out. “You’re on.”

He reached forward, licking his lips teasingly as his eyes roamed around the circle of his peers, getting a hand around the bottle and giving it a powerful twirl.

The room went quiet save for a few hushed exchanges and some girls giggling that only made Hob grin flirtatiously. He felt the alcohol in his blood rushing with enough speed to make him dizzy, and the spinning bottle honestly wasn’t helping. But Hob had been patiently waiting his turn all night so watch it he would. 

Soon, all eyes followed the bottle as it began to slow, a hush of anticipation that Hob’s peers had been accustomed to all night falling over the circle once more.

Until the bottle finally stopped, and Hob’s heart along with it.

Because the mouth of the bottle pointed squarely at Dream, sitting right next to him. 

Scattered hollering and clapping filled Hob’s ears as his gaze flicked sideways to his friend, who was staring at the bottle, his posture ramrod straight, his hands no longer fiddling.

Hob swallowed and ignored the jeering and playful jab at his side from Cori, eyes fixated on his friend, his best friend. Who didn’t like going to parties, who only smiled when he meant it, who only complained about his parents stupid and strict rules only if Hob asked, never wanting to appear annoying, or too much, preferring to keep to the shadows.

Dream, who would fold if only Hob gave him his best pout, allowing himself to be tugged along to a concert or arcade with a well timed joke and friendly pestering. Who seemed like such a stick-up-the-ass to everyone except Hob, who only had eyes for him. Hob’s best friend, shy and awkward and a little mean, and so devastatingly handsome it was a wonder Hob hadn’t had the balls to do something about it yet.

It would take something as juvenile as a dare to finally give Hob the excuse to act upon his helpless crush. Though Dream…

Dream hadn’t looked away from the bottle. Bringing his lips in to form a line and. Hob felt his nerves begin to escape from out his ears.

“Hey…” Hob spoke gently, moving his hand to carefully rest on Dream’s knee.

Dream’s gaze snapped to Hob at once, and the look in his eyes made Hob’s stomach drop.

He looked terrified.

Hob’s breath caught in his throat, the air around them suddenly thick with an unidentified tension. 

Cori’s voice popping up over Hob’s shoulder made them both jump.

“C’mon, Morpheus. Hob won’t bite, unless you ask him to!”

Hob sighed loudly, rolling his eyes for the group’s benefit, who eased up with a roll of snickering around them. One time, that happened!

“I–” Dream started, swallowing hard enough for his Adam’s apple to bob harshly. “I’d rather–”

“Just one kiss, Dream,” Hob heard himself say, a little desperate. A little too drunk. “It’ll be really quick…” He felt himself already leaning in and Dream’s lips parted, sucking in an audible breath.

“Kiss, kiss, kiss!”

Jo and Cori started the chant, and everyone around them followed suit, egging Hob and Dream on.

The realistic, rational part of Hob’s brain, which was still muddled by cheap vodka, tried to remind Hob that this was just a game, and Dream didn’t have to do this if he didn’t want to. He’d even opened his mouth to say so, amongst the drunken, teenage laughter and clapping in time to the chant.

But what he spoke, instead of insisting they didn’t have to kiss, that they could potentially even revisit this, and Hob’s ego wouldn’t be bruised, thank you very much, was a quiet,

“Please?”

Dream’s brows pinched together, he looked truly torn and Hob couldn’t figure out what that meant, especially as the seconds ticked away. Driving Hob crazy, waiting for permission; verbally or even a single head nod. Hob wet his lips and his stomach did an acrobatic leap as he caught Dream’s gaze flick down to catch the motion, his shoulders visibly rising as he took a breath.

“No.”

Hob blinked and Dream was untangling himself from the floor, standing up so fast he wobbled, and stomped out of the room.

The chanting died down at once. Hob felt himself frozen to the carpet in the surrounding silence. 

Somebody politely coughed. Hob’s gaze found Johanna, who only looked back at him in sympathy, her eyebrows tilted up. 

Humiliation and rejection burned in Hob’s chest, crawling up his neck and making his ears hot. 

Cori clicked his tongue and Hob whipped his head around to glare at him.

“Tough luck, buddy.”

“Shut up,” Hob hissed, feeling all the more embarrassed for it. He splayed his hands flat on the floor, pushing himself up without another look at his classmates, and walked towards where Dream had vanished to with shaking limbs.

—------------------------------------

Hob found him quickly enough, going through the laundry room and out the door that led to the back yard.

“Dream?”

Blue eyes, barely visible in the darkness, rose to find Hob as he made his way down the steps, sitting across from Dream, against the railing, putting distance between them.

Dream looked forward again, his eyes set, face unreadable. Hob hated that he was drunk at the moment because he’d otherwise never chuckle sarcastically like he’s doing now. Hiding the pain, perhaps, hoping Dream can’t see how ashamed he’s feeling, how rejection boils in his blood and even looking at Dream right now, twists Hob’s insides.

“What the hell?”

Dream takes a long breath through his nose, pushing his shoulders back. And says nothing.

“It would have just been a stupid kiss,” Hob goes on, unprompted. Words tumbling out of his mouth like vomit. “You’re my friend. Is the thought of kissing me so disgusting you need to run away?”

Hob feels his eyes begin to sting and throws his head back, smiling derisively. He was about to start crying. Great.

Once he’s gotten himself under control, Hob tilts his head down and finds Dream watching him, his own gaze softened, if only minutely.

His lips part, voice low and quiet. “You misunderstand me.”

“Then I’d love it if you’d explain,” Hob sighs roughly. “Because you just made me look like an asshole in there.”

Dream shakes his head, unfolding his arms over his lap and getting long, pale fingers around his knobbly knees instead.

“The world is ending tonight.” Dream starts cryptically, staring at how his fingers pick at the tears in his jeans. “Tomorrow we graduate. I’m going to England and we’ll never see each other again.” He looks sideways at Hob, who’s holding his breath.

“And you’re still worried about how people perceive you?” He takes a breath. “You choose to spend your last hours getting drunk and playing juvenile games? Instead of…” Dream gaze flits back toward the house, swallowing.

Hob scoots over, closer to Dream. Summer is right around the corner but the night air is cool still, clean and pleasantly quiet. And Dream blends into the darkness like he belongs there, the stars in the cloudless sky, how they light up the darkness along with the moon, giving just enough illumination to see by, to marvel at Dream sitting on Hob’s back porch steps. 

Taking in the wonder that is Hob’s closest friend, beautiful, shy, wicked smart Dream. Hob feels calm fall over him like a blanket. Mulling on Dream’s words, and settling on a response.

“What would you rather be doing?”

Dream finds Hob’s gaze again, and Hob lifts his shoulders, prompting Dream further, but he remains silent. Hob takes a breath, speaking again when Dream doesn’t respond.

“If the world is ending anyway…” Hob starts, licking his bottom lip. “Then just say it.”

Agonizing seconds slip by, where Dream stares at Hob, lips slightly parted, eyes widening.

“I want to kiss you.”

Hob’s heart lurches in his chest and he feels the air leave his lungs. Dream’s voice is so quiet, so fragile, it makes Hob ache.

“But not–” Dream inclines his head slightly, toward the house. “Not like that.”

“Oh…” Hob says eloquently, finding himself petrified once again.

There’s a new tension in the silence that falls between them. Waiting, anticipating. Hob takes a steadying breath and feels like he’s jumping off a cliff.

He gets on hand on the floor between them and leans over, his other hand hovering towards Dream. 

“Can I–?”

“Yes.”

Dream meets him halfway, pressing warm, chapped lips to Hob’s, and holding still. 

It’s sweet, and careful, and when Dream exhales from his nose, the warm air hitting Hob, his lips part to take a breath and Hob lunges forward, getting a hand around the side of Dream’s face and pulling him in. Hob sweeps his tongue along the seam of Dream’s lips once before diving past, pulling a surprised gasp from Dream that turns into a soft groan.

Hob’s fingers caress into the soft strands of Dream’s hair as they kiss, elation popping off like fireworks under Hob’s skin as he finally is able to touch his friend like this. Move his lips along Dream’s with drunken coordination and vigor, putting as much affection and want into the kiss as Hob could, hoping Dream could understand. Could feel how long Hob has wanted to do this. And as they move together, bodies naturally closing the distance between them and Dream’s hands finsting into Hob’s shirt before weaving up and around his shoulders, Hob understands why Dream would rather share this privately, without an audience of their peers gawking.

Because this was real. Years of repressed yearning and feelings bubbling up to the surface and tumbling forth in exchanged breaths and needy whines, Hob’s fingers digging a little harder into Dream’s scalp, Dream’s hands, in response, clawing at Hob’s back, pulling him impossibly closer as his body arched like a bow so their chests bumped and Hob could feel the heat of his friend’s body against his own.

Hob tore his mouth away, taking a ragged breath, stealing it from Dream, before going back in, again and again, little lips-only kisses that elicited the prettiest noises from Dream. Especially as Hob’s lips wanders down his chin and up his jaw, causing his friend to cling tighter to Hob, tilting his head to give Hob better access, breathing through his mouth, the hot air hitting Hob’s ear and driving him wild.

“Dream…” Hob finally spoke, his low voice painted in arousal and causing Dream to shake in his arms. He nipped Dream’s ear before licking it. “Why is this all coming out now?”

One of Dream’s hands went up into Hob’s hair, fingers tangling in the brown locks as he huffed his response.

“I could ask the same of you.”

Hob smiles, but it’s sad. He’s slowed down now, gently nudging his nose underneath Dream’s ear before pulling back, facing him once more.

Dream’s eyes flutter open and Hob feels struck down. He’s never seen Dream’s eyes so dark, his blue iris’ nearly all encompassed by the black of his pupils. Hob, unable to resist now, taps his nose to Dreams, taking a breath.

“I was scared.”

He can hear how Dream swallows.

“Me too.”

They sit like that for a long moment, holding on to one another, breathing each other’s air, savoring the revelation that had just transpired. And knowing it wouldn’t last. 

—-------------

They of course saw each other again at graduation, and throughout the days that followed. Hob prepared to move across the state to his chosen college and Dream prepped to leave the country all together.

Hob offered to drive Dream to the airport on moving day, but Dream shook his head, saying it was already too painful that he was leaving, he didn’t want any lingering looks. Instead Dream’s father took a quick detour to Hob’s house, where Dream stood in Hob’s doorway to say goodbye, and in full view of both their families, all they could do was hug. And Hob put his entire body into it, crushing Dream, who had always been so damn thin and gangly, in his arms and nosing his way into Dream’s hair to take one final, deep inhale.

“We’ll see each other again.” Hob promised, in that hopeful way young people did.

Dream only smiled ruefully, his eyes shining and causing a lump to form in Hob’s throat.

“Promise?”

“Yeah.” Hob nodded, getting his hands around Dream’s face and caressing his thumbs under his eyes and across sharp cheekbones. “You think you can get rid of me that easily?”

Dream huffed out a quiet laugh, the blue of his eyes sparkling.

#dreamling #hob x dream #my need for long buildups will be the death of me #i was gonna end it on a cliffy #just a hint to the flashforward i'll get into next #but ran out of steam #if anyone is curious what happened after this #message me #everything will be explained in part two #but i might wanna drop some teasers first #my writing #dreamling romcom au

[whatthehelltony]

could be doing anything else right now but I’m sitting in bed with all the windows open writing text post for tumblr and freezing my ass off. My pants are too big for me and it’s making me so mad and I want to make something but idk what and it’s so messy in here and I need to clean and I feel sick so maybe i should close the windows and maybe I should eat something other than sugar and caffeine and maybe I should make lunch but it’s too late so I’ll just wait til dinner cause everyone knows calories don’t count after dark which is maybe my problem and my throat hurts and I’m cold and I want to talk to someone but instead I’m here rambling to no one and I hope that I remember to delete this before anyone I know sees it but I probably won’t and I feel like I’m wasting time but I can’t stop and I just want to do something but idk what I and I just want to build something but it seems like maybe right now I have to do nothing because the only other thing I can do is destroy and talk to much and maybe I should sleep well tonight but I’ve already decided I won’t until my giant painting has a sky and I know that i cannot move the dresser til after dark and I need to hide my energy drinks cause people are coming over and might want to sit on the closet couch and I also need to move my sewing stuff and the dress I started and of course never finished because if I don’t do it all at once it won’t get done like the book my girlfriend gave me that I had to force myself to read in one sitting cause i knew I wouldn’t otherwise and why is it is a struggle to do things I want to do and why can’t I type and the music is too loud in my earbuds but it needs to be loud and I can’t type and I feel like I’m going deaf and maybe I’m going blind cause my eyes are always blurry now and maybe I should drink some water cause otherwise I’m gonna die at practice and maybe I should eat something but I ate a cookie at midnight last night and my mom isn’t home to tell me to eat and why am I complaining cause I eat dinner and I eat and I don’t have a problem and I’m itching but I know the thing that will make it stop will be too obvious and the last thing I want is for people to know anything and I wanna go home but I’m sitting in bed with the windows open and I am home and it’s cold but the sun is shining and my heart is beating too fast and maybe it’s the caffeine or the adrenaline from talking too much or maybe it’s my heart and I’m going to die and maybe I should close the window and put a period in my writing so that people can actually read it but maybe I’m making it unreadable in purpose so that no one reads it and maybe I could not post this but we both know I have to because I can’t text my girlfriend and even if I could I know I wouldn’t say anything cause she’s got it way worse and I’m actually good so idk what I’m doing here and why I’m typing and there’s a notes app for a reason but it just isn’t the same and I need to stop and I need to put a period somewhere but it’s too bright and my eyes are blurry but I won’t sleep til tomorrow and I need to shut up but my head hurts and maybe this will make it feel better but now I have to go because people are coming over and I need to clean and I keep forgetting things and maybe I’m crazy but people who are actually crazy don’t think they’re crazy so im ok and I won’t put a period because fuck

[thenexusofsouls]

PSA: Hiatus until 3/5

{i am the caretaker of souls} So sorry guys, but the upshot is that I've decided I need a little hiatus from my usual rp schedule because my anxiety is a bit overwhelming at present. Details below the cut for those who would like to know, but basically I'm going to be on hiatus until at least 3/4, for both anxiety reasons and grading responsibilities, and after an appt I have on Mon I'll know whether that needs to be extended further or not.

I'm sorry to do this when everyone was expecting replies tonight, but I need to do some self-care here, because I'm feeling very anxious and overwhelmed. I love you all, this isn't anything anybody did, and I will come back, I just need to take some time for myself. I will be back to my normal schedule once things have calmed down. Thank you for understanding. Hopefully things resolve themselves sooner rather than later. Keep your fingers crossed!

Okay, so... I've decided to take a short hiatus until I know what's going on with the surgery I'm going to be having. I vastly underestimated the amount of anxiety I would feel regarding even just the consultation appt, which is Mon (3/4). It's not that I don't want to write the muses/threads I have here, it's just that some require more creativity and/or focus than I have right now. I need to feel relaxed, happy, creative, and/or at least be able to concentrate and focus to write a lot of my muses, and lately that's been in short supply for me.

I felt anxiety creep in yesterday and thought I was just having a moment, but no, it seems like I'll be this wigged out until Mon. I hope to have a surgery date after the appt. Until then, I know the surgery and recovery will disrupt my life, my job, my diet, my mobility, etc. but I can't prepare for that disruption until I know when it's happening, and that's driving me crazy. I also have an evaluation for this promotion I'm applying for that's supposed to be done this month, but the university won't tell me when it's occurring or what it even entails. So not being able to plan for and around these important events is causing almost more anxiety than the events themselves, heh.

I realized tonight, as I've been sitting here trying to force myself to write and instead I stress-played Minecraft for four hours straight, that I've been adding to my own stress by worrying about upsetting you all, feeling that I let everyone down by not writing a lot, or by feeling pressured to write when I really didn't feel like it. It's gotten out of hand, and I need to take some time to just be with myself, feel the anxiety, and process it so I can let it go.

Right now, the muses on @tarnishedxknight are coming very easily to me, as they have been for a couple months now. *shrugs* I honestly don't know why those muses are coming through loud and clear, but they've been cutting through the anxiety fog when not many others are. Even at that, I'm not writing as much for them as I usually do. Nevertheless, I'll leave that blog open during the hiatus, and I may do some things here and there as time and anxiety allow. Even under stress, I need some writing to do. ;) But it'll be very much when and if I'm able.

Other than that, I'm going to be on hiatus from my usual rp schedule until at least Tues (3/5). I have grading to do Mon and Tues anyway, and tonight and tomorrow night I'll try to calm down and then see how this appt goes on Mon. If I get a surgery date or any better idea of when things will happen, then I'll know if I need to continue the hiatus beyond that or not, either because of surgery/evaluation scheduling or just due to anxiety.

I feel like once these two honking balls of stress (the surgery and the evaluation for my promotion) are done and out of the way, I'm going to feel a huge sense of relief and I'll be back here full force again, heh. I'm optimistic that that's what will happen. I just need you all to be a little bit patient until then.

Love you guys, be back soon I hope! ❤

#{ i am the caretaker of souls } ᵒᵒᶜ #tw: surgery #tw: anxiety #{sometimes you just have to take a step back} #{and be like okay time out... breathe heh} #{that's what I'm trying to do right now} #{i need to focus on myself for a bit}

[sidhewrites]

Chapter 10! We are once again making liberal use of the bracket method to keep writing momentum up. Also, I accidentally gave Kaz adhd whoops

Project Info

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[Change time skip to a month so kaz has more time to get to know lucy and Josie has more time to be weirded out by ren but since she n kaz can’t stop fighting it means that things keep getting weird]

When Josie's schedule finally lines up with mine, another two weeks had gone by. Renfield, though perfectly healthy, was still acting off, so she was uncomfortable leaving him alone any longer than necessary. I don’t love going over there again, but if it means I can get rid of her stuff once and for all, then so be it. 

Josie’s apartment is an extension of her own sense of style. She’s painted the walls a deep violet, with black accents and old furniture she’s sourced from work. Incense and cat fur mix to give her place a distinctly unique scent. I used to hate it, but I also used to think cats are assholes who only want to bite you and murder things until Josie taught me that a cat wagging its tail means the opposite of a dog doing the same.

"Has the vet said anything new?" I ask as Josie lets me in the door. She steps back, giving me enough space to get into the front hallway. I force myself not to remember all the times I pressed her up against one of the walls and kissed her neck over the past year and a half, make myself think of the countless late nights arguing, the weeks of silence. Old habits die hard, and I'll bury them alive if I have to.

[conversation and transition]

Josie trails off, gaze drifting over my shoulder. I turn to see what she's looking at, and snort. Renfield had kicked his bed off the little table in front of the window, and stood on it now, raised up on his two hind legs. He seemed to be surveying the view, judging it, and finding it wanting.

"Aww, he looks like an old man."

"Don't," she pouts.I pull a face. "Get off my lawn right meow!"

[Transition]

Another week passes before I hear from Josie again. I'm in my apartment, doing my best to focus on homework when the siren call of social media is so close at hand. My attention is ruined entirely, however, when I feel the sting of seeing her name pop up in my notifications.

She sent me a text with more exclamation points then I have piercings. Tomorrow!!!! We're gonna be famous!!!!! Aaaaaa! She follows up with a link to an announcement on the Haunted Archivist's social media feed, reminding everyone that the video drops at 9pm EST.

I frown at the screen.

Another text comes in before I can respond: Let's watch it together. I'll get the projector set up and everything.

I feel sick. I'm about to put the phone on silent when a third message comes through.

Uh. Actually.

Thank god I don't have to break it to her. I don't have the patience for her accidental guilt tripping tonight.

Sorry. That's probably awkward to suggest. Maybe not...

But please watch it! You're in it, so you should see that part at least!

Yeah, Jose. Now that you mention it, it is really awkward to invite the person you used to date over to watch a video about the very thing we fight about constantly. I groan at the screen. She's going to start apologizing now, because she can't help it, and I'm going to get mean, and it'll just keep going around in circles.

Sorry, she texts again, because I haven't responded, which obviously means I'm angry at her. Which, I mean, I am, but it's just because she's doing this and I've lost patience for it over the years.

The texts keep coming in, and my phone buzzes and buzzes.

Just forget I said anything. That was really stupid of me. Maybe you should watch it with your new girlfriend?

I mean if you call her girlfriend. Sorry. I don't know if you guys have a label or not. It's not my place to judge, you seem to like her a lot, and I want you to be happy

I've had enough.

Shut up.

[They argue, until Kaz gives in and agrees to watch with Josie. Once they've agreed on plans:]

I throw the phone across the room.

I hate her. I hate myself for hating her. Josie has never been anything but kind to a fault, and it's not something she deserves to be hated for. She's probably crying now, too.

I hate myself for making her cry. I hate her for crying. I hate this whole damn thing.

I get up to retrieve my phone, and go get a pint of ice cream before going back to my homework. There's an exam at the end of the month, and I'm not about to let my grades slip any further than they usually do. Phan would kill me, or at least sigh at me which is just as bad. But my mind keeps drifting, first to Josie, then to Lucy, then to how stupid I'm being about this whole thing with Lucy. It still hurts to talk to her, but we also can't go more than twenty minutes without fighting no matter how hard we try to be civil. For every semester the past two years, we shared at least one class in our schedule, which meant I always had someone I could rely on to help me focus, or at least to loan me their notes when my mind inevitably wandered too far and I spent the whole hour thinking about god-knows-what.

It's good for both of us that we're sitting on opposite sides of the lecture hall now, but I can't help but feel the emptiness besides me, where our elbows used to bump against each other, where we'd tap our toes together in little secret acts of affection.

[Make the transition smoother so that she's basically venting to lucy who listens sympathetically that night and suggests maybe not talking to her again. Lucy is so understanding and sympathetic, and Kaz looks at her like she hung the moon.]

Something is gonna go wrong here, with this. With us. Whatever we are. I know it will, if only because I'm so steeped in self-loathing and doom to consider anything else.

[Transition]

But dawn is breaking. Lucy has to go. I don't even have work today, but I drag my sorry ass to a coffee shop anyway, and drown my sorrows in caffeinated sugar and scones.

Tag List

@adaughterofathena

@ambreeskyewriting

@carnelianflames

@feather-dancer

@halfbloodlycan

@nadunacreates

@serenanymph

@vigilantdesert

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #writerscommunity #mystuff #writing #my writing #spilled ink #graveyard lesbians #supernatural romance #wlw #wlw romance #wlw novel #original fiction

[tarnishedxknight]

{out of dalmasca} Unfortunately guys, I'm gonna have to cut tonight really short. I have to wake up 4-5 hours earlier than I usually do to head to the hospital for a test tomorrow. Don't worry, I'm okay, but I am slowly inching closer to a diagnosis for those pain attacks I've been having. Anyway... yeah, I have to wake up at an ungodly hour, lol, so I have to try to force myself to sleep super early tonight. I will be on Friday night to write here again, though, because I hardly got anything done.

#{ out of dalmasca } ᵒᵒᶜ #tw: medical procedures #{so frustrating} #{all i want to do is write} #{i literally asked can i please have a later appt my night schedule is very late} #{they were like.... no... we only do this test 8:30 am or earlier} #{wtf...... XD} #{*pterodactyl noises*}

[wnana-oh]

To you.

Pairing: Neteyam x fem!human reader.

Summary: you've arrived on Pandora along Quaritch's avatar and manage to escape to join the natives. after the passing of neteyam, you've finally decided on the next move and decide to write him a letter to end your mourning.

Warnings: I didn't cry but may be sad

Notes: I'm out of my delusional stage. Decided to put an end to my hopes of a revival, so here's my letter to boo.

Mom used to tell me to write down my unexplainable feelings. And tonight as I went back to my tent after dinner, yours told me that it was time to put an end to my mourning, in the way I deemed proper.

So I want to tell you, all the things I left unsaid, the thoughts I never spoke, the worries I never shared, the memories I couldn't recal. In a way I'll be done regretting all of those.

I'm happy you found me. I'm happy your family and tribe believed in me after having met your father and the abominations my people did. I'm happy I was able to spend my precious hours alongside the nature I despised so much on Earth. I'm happy you made me love nature, and it's inhabitants, it's ups and downs. Thank you for teaching me your ways and being oh so patient.

I'm proud I stayed true to myself despite all the bullshit engraved in my head. I'm proud I valued life more than survival. I'm proud I knew everything had an end and that the one of my people was so close, escaping to another planet wouldn't save us. I'm proud I fought for you, for this precious world of yours, for this intimate relation you have with it, for everything I didn't understand but respected nevertheless. Thank you for keeping me on the righteous path.

I regret not being adventurous enough. I regret not riding ikrans with you because I was afraid I'd fall. I regret not being tall enough. I regret not being able to connect to Ey'wa. I regret my doubts. I regret not killing the men I should've shot. I regret being weak and not worthy of a warrior like you. I regret leaving Earth. More than I thought I would. I miss its disgusting, self-centered people. I miss its contaminated air, its dying eco system, its concrete walls and floors. I miss my friends, my insane, lunatic mother. I miss its music, the movies, the books, the fictions. I miss the late night walks, the trains, long car rides. I miss every little thing about it. Only because it was my home, because I grew up there, full knowing it was dying, in and out. Only because I am very much alike these disgusting self centered people, the colonizers, hungry for money and youth in a world were even tomorrow is uncertain. I hate that, I miss it so much I cry about it at night. I hate that you never knew about it, that you wouldn't understand the stories I told you, the fun things I did that were unknown to you. I hate the you who doesn't know about phones and theaters, the you who doesn't know France, the States, China... The you who would nod and smile to make me feel understood when you had no idea what I was babbling about. Thank you.

I was afraid your people would turn their backs on me, suspect me, lynch me and leave me to die. I was afraid I'd wake up alone. I was afraid I'd be a burden. But after hearing my story, you protected me as one of yours, made me feel accepted and I'll never thank you enough for it.

Never was I delusional, thinking I'd ever be a part of what you, as a community, were. Never was I delusional enough to think I'd spend the rest of my pitful life on Pandora. Because, I am from Earth. I don't deserve what's yours. I wasn't here because I wanted, but because I was forced to be. I wanted to fight for the right cause and I did. I wanted to be helpful to the right people and I was. I helped and fought for you, I'd do it again. In fact, no matter how many times I have to live this life, I'd still fight for you. As a human. Not as a Na'vi. I don't want to become greedy. I don't want to stay. I don't want to have to live like this for much longer. I finally understand what it's like to be a minority and I'd rather go back to my world than to mourn you forever, hating myself for not being born blue.

Now that the fight is over, there's still a war to win. And I can't believe you won't be fighting again. I can't believe you're gone, that we didn't even try to save you. I know it's nobody's fault, but Quaritch's. Nevertheless I can't help thinking things could have been different. After your burial, I fought with your father. It was selfish. Selfish of me to call him out for letting you go so easily, for accepting that there was no saving you. I got mad at him for going soft, being clueless when he grew up a solider. I cried because I knew things he didn't and was terrified. I yelled at him because he didn't double check Quaritch's body. Because I knew Miles saved his father and was too shameful to admit it. I knew he did, because I would've saved my father too, had it been him. And you know what ? I was grounded for it. I guess I forget who he was for a moment. God I could barley look at him in the eye while arguing.

I miss you. Your brother is taking up your role and is acting somewhat more mature. Kiri has been having more seizures and is always missing. I think she's finding refuge in the secluded areas, where it's quiet. Tuk comes to me a lot to talk about you. She misses you so much. You know I thought about how, if I stayed on Earth I'd probably be in pre med by now. Health is the only thing that matters now back home. I wanted to work in science boosted fashion, creating clothes to heal and protect my weak people. I now find myself wanting to save yours. Wanting to know the body, enough to heal a bullet wound.

When I find a way to travel back to my planet, I want to leave in peace. I want to leave with no regrets. I want to leave, knowing war wouldn't hit your family again. I want to leave, with my people, and for them to never look back. I'd love for us to care about Earth, but I'm afraid it is now too late to stop its decay, or that we wouldn't even try. I want to leave with a smile on my face, and on the faces of the ones I'm leaving behind. Buisness done, case closed. I want to go back home, to die in peace with it. And when I do, I hope, and I'll pray everyday until then, that Ey'wa will allow me to see you again. I can only wish for Ey'wa to let me rest with you.

Next time we'll see each other, I'll ask you first, to surprise you, "Let's go for a walk".

I love you. Today as forever.

I see you. Neteyam.

Thank you.

#neteyam #avatar #the way of water spoilers #sully family #x reader #avatar : the way of water #neteyam x y/n #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam fic #neteyam x you

[armpirate]

UNDER YOUR SKIN || JJK || Ch. 13

Pairings: tattoist!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, friends to lovers, tattoo au, virgin reader.

Summary: You were awful on anything related to flirting, guys and sex. He was the perfect ladies man. You wanted to get rid of your virginity. And he was there to help you with everything you needed. You didn't have the best start, but that didn't mean you wouldn't have the best of the endings.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

****************************************

I walk around the place. Everything is dark, except for the moonlight coming through the windows, that's making each of the frames of those be visible on the floor right in front of me with their shadows.

I hear nothing but my heartbeat and my fast breathing as my eyes move around, fast and desperately, as if I were looking for something. I find a white door in the distance, and for some reason I start walking to it. Although I don't know what's behind me, I'm more scared of what could happen if I stayed here.

My hand almost reaches the knob...

I breathe heavily when my eyes suddenly open to meet the familiar and cozy darkness in my room. It wasn't a rough nightmare, but it was creepy enough to have me trembling with a light pressure in my chest. Was I holding my breathing?

I slip my body under the sheets, sitting up in bed while I try to get used to my small room again. After that dream, a strange feeling filled my body. And it's weird, considering I've never been scared of darkness -I kind of used to enjoy it when I was little. But tonight... I feel forced to hug my own legs, and my eyes shake while looking everywhere in the room, trying to find something somewhere.

Before I'm able to stop myself and think, my hand slips down the sheets to my phone and clicks on the first name that appears on my contact list. One tone, two tones... I'm about to hang up and leave it all alone, but his voice stops me.

—Yeah? —Jungkook asks with a raspy voice.

I try to think fast. I could either hang up or come up with whatever excuse as to why I'm calling him this late. I can't tell him I only woke him up because I had a nightmare, and talking to someone -and that someone happens to be him- will make me feel a bit at ease and not that lonely and vulnerable here.

Think fast.

—What's the penalty if one of us doesn't carry out their part of the deal? —I ask fast.

You're so dumb, y/n.

—Are you fucking serious? —he sighs hard— It's 4 am, what's your fucking problem?

—We never mentioned what could happen —I try to sound as convincing as possible—. And it's already been a week.

He sighs again, and I hear him moving under the covers before he clicks his tongue and starts speaking again.

—Is this an excuse to make sure I didn't take anyone home after leaving your house? —his tone sounds funny, playful.

I can almost picture him with that signature smirk right now.

—No —I rush to answer—. Listen...

—I'm a man who can keep a promise —he continues—. But I can tell you what I did after getting home...

—That's not what I called for —I reply back.

Jungkook stays silent for a few seconds. And my fucking god, don't they feel like hours until he starts talking again.

—I didn't think of anything because we are both grown ups. The moment one of us wants to walk away, it'll be okay —his soft voice says—. Why? Do you want to write down some penalties?

—No.

I hear his giggles before he starts speaking again.

—Why are you awake so late, huh?

—I couldn't sleep —I lie.

—So, since you couldn't sleep, you decided to wake me up —he sighs—. Cocktease, I thought we said we would wave a white flag. It's the first rule.

Silence. That's all I'm able to do after he says that. I don't even know why I called him so late into the night, and why I didn't hang up as soon as he answered the phone. And that actually makes me wonder if he's the person I've grown closer to without realizing, after swearing for my life I couldn't stand his ass.

—Do you have plans for tomorrow?

—No.

I don't, except for working as I do six days per week.

—Want to hang out? I'll drive you to work after.

After I agree to it, he doesn't really say what we will do. He only says he'll pick me up at ten in the morning, and he'll come up with something then.

Silence is about to surround us, but he avoids it from happening when he starts speaking again. He keeps saying I'll need to make up for waking him up so late, and how now he won't be able to sleep again. The conversation goes from me saying I'll invite him to a bottle of beer to Jungkook telling me how once he woke up with his eyebrow pierced, after having too many beers in his graduation party.

The conversation flows so naturally, it's a bit weird. I let my guard down, and let him know I've never gotten drunk, which leads to him gasping dramatically. My eyelids start feeling heavy the moment I lay my head on the pillow, while I keep hearing him joke how he needs to see me drunk at least once in a lifetime.

And that's all I remember before everything goes black.

✸ ✸ ✸

When Jungkook picked me up earlier today, I really thought we'd have a chill hang out, where we'd be able to start hanging out as friends. But he takes me by surprise when he says: "Pick a guy and go flirt with him". My heart races against my chest just at the thought of reaching out to a stranger, and talking to him as if I knew him from before.

—No, you pick him up.

Jungkook smiles with joy, finding it funny I'm unable to even choose the guy I'll try to flirt with. His eyes travel across the room, and takes his time before he picks a guy that's seating by himself at one of the individual tables that aren't too far from us. He points at the brunette boy with glasses, that's scrolling through his phone. I sigh, thinking Jungkook will be nice and take back that idea, but he only smiles while sticking his lips together, and making the mole on his lower lip be totally visible, as if it were a second lip piercing.

I try to fill my thoughts with "You will never see him again" "Just see how it goes" "You could always go back to your table". When I'm aware, I'm halfway, only a few steps away from that table. But I panic, all my courage leaves my body and I only feel like hiding away behind Jungkook's back as soon as I get back to my table. When I turn on my steps to do exactly that, my "companion?" moves his hands in the air and pushes me to turn on my feet again back to the guy concentrated on his phone.

Everything happens way too fast. I tap on this guy's shoulder, forcing him to look at me who's towering over him in an intimidating position. I'm convinced I'm invading his personal space, even if I'm standing two steps away from his body. He's looking at me confused, instantly closing his phone before his whole body turns to me.

—Um... —I start— Do you... Can I?... —I sigh again, and let my mouth work faster than my brain—. Do you have a tissue? Those napkins irritate my skin.

I point to the napkin metallic box that's on the edge of his table. The guy says a low "No" and smiles friendly, before going back to his phone. I stand there, only for a few seconds when I realize what's just happened and how dumb I am. Probably this guy is even younger than me, but for some reason I feel like I'm an immature 5 year old compared to him.

I move back on my tracks, reaching the shared table and being welcomed by a grimaced Jungkook.

—It could've been worse —he tries to comfort me.

I refrain from replying back to that comment, and focus on my drink and the drops that are covering the glass that was an opaque white, due to coldness, before I left the table minutes ago.

A tap on the table, on a spot near where my arm is resting, gets my attention.

—I'll give you a demonstration. Pick any girl you want.

I don't need him to demonstrate to me he's able to pull any girl he wants, it's quite obvious he is at this point. But how he looks so full of himself makes the girl, who was fawning over her six feet tall boyfriend, look like a good pick for him.

Let's see if he's as good.

He looks at me with a squared smile, and repeats several times whether I'm sure of my pick or not, because of how good she looks. He can't be so fucking annoying.

With a smile on my face, I nod, totally sure of my pick.

The girl looks confused when he first reaches her table, but just a few words from him has her giggling and twirling her hair with one finger. I get her, because he causes that same reaction in me. But how her boyfriend is still there, in the bathroom, makes me shocked.

I'm so concentrated on how he wins her over enough to be sitting on the place her boyfriend was sitting on, I'm not aware said person just left the bathroom until the thick dude is grabbing Jungkook by the collar of his sweater.

It'd be funny to see how he gets away from this by himself since he knows how to handle everything so well, even if I was the one who put him in this situation. But I can't look away and ignore what I caused.

I'd punch myself if I could.

—I was looking for you —I try to get in between the two boys, although my eyes are fixed on Jungkook—, I told you selling those bibles around would get you in trouble someday.

—Bibles? —the man that's still holding Jungkook asks.

—Yeah —I nod fast—. Poor boy just got out of jail for robbing them, so he's trying to make up for it by helping to sell them. He doesn't realize when he's overstepping boundaries though, don't take him seriously.

I reach for the six feet tall man's arm and hand, making him let go of Jungkook as soon as his strength of his fingers on the fabric of his sweater loosens.

I thank the guy and lose no time in dragging Jungkook out of there, and back to our table, as soon as I get the chance. He's looking at me with squinted eyes as soon as we sit on the table, he doesn't even bother to comment on the whole thing before he spits.

—You knew she was with her boyfriend.

—What? No —I lie.

—It's funny —he looks at me intensely, while supporting both of his elbows on the table—. You were perfect at pulling a big story to save me from getting my nose broken, yet you are unable to lie to me with a short answer.

—Think whatever you want of me —I limit to answer.

I feel him smiling, and looking down. But his eyes are back on me not too long after. He knows I will never admit to knowing she was with her boyfriend.

—By the way —he gets my attention—, that story? How did you come up with it?

—When you have strict parents, you learn how to lie and come up with the dumbest, not totally believable, excuses —I shrug.

Later that morning, we have another argument on who should be paying for lunch. When the simple answer should be: let's divide the bill. Nope. He insists it was his idea, and I want to make up for the mess I made earlier today with that girl and her boyfriend.

I'm starting to think the only reason Jungkook annoys me so badly is because he's just as stubborn as I am. Aside from that, I won't lie and I'll admit I actually had a good time with him. Even when he's teasing, and pulling his sarcasm to crack jokes -or just push my buttons- I kind of have fun. I'll give him that only.

#fanfic #ff #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkookxreader #jk #bts #wattpad #kookie #smut #jungkook smut #tattoistjk #tattooau #armpirate

[pbandjesse]

I'm sitting outside on the fire escape. I didn't leave the house today. But it was a lot productive time still. Even if it was mostly just computer productive. Mostly.

I slept alright. Not great. I scratched myself really bad on my leg and it burns when I touch it so that's super fun. James covered me up more before they left for work and I slept until 930.

When I got ho I would try my best to be productive. I got dressed and felt very cute in my outfit. I felt a little frustrated with my hair but it's just because it's a weird length right now. All I want it to wear it up but I'm convinced that's breaking it. It's been so fragile since I took chemotherapy in January. But I'm really trying to take good care of it so it can be healthy again.

I would poke around the apartment for a little bit I really wanted to get my last lesson plan done today. I also absolutely did not want to do that. I was feeling a bit stuck. I would force myself to get on the computer around 10 and I would work until 1 with only short breaks. And I did it! I finished my last lesson plan! There are still a couple reference photos I want to add to the document but the writing is complete. And I'm thrilled. I had some research issues but I am really proud of the work and I hope that creating the training documents goes as easily.

Once I finished as much as I could (when James got home we would do a little editing), I would go and finally get all the almost done bears and finish sewing those up. And since the lighting was nice I took some bears outside to photograph for my website. I. Hoping to have the online shop back up next Friday. So I got some pictures. And then jumped into the website itself.

Which still has issues. I made a flyer and I can't get it to not be blurry when I place it on the site!! I don't know why!! I will try a few more things but I am frustrated with this because I worked hard on the flyer.

I still felt accomplished though. And it was a nice afternoon. I watched some videos. I had a snack. I knit for a little while. I played with sweetp a little. And I waited for James to come home.

I was feeling pretty tired. When James got back they made spaghetti but it came out uncooked the first time so they had to try again and we're pretty frustrated but they also say with me so I could show them all the work I did today. And they told me about their day. And it was just really nice. Even if eating uncooked pasta was unpleasant.

James also showed me some very nice texts my dad sent him that he had meant to send to me. He really liked the blanket and he sent a picture of it on his bed and it looked really good. I'm really happy about that. My color choices were correct!

James has been recording their podcast for a while now. And I'm sitting out in the fire escape. I cleaned the fish tanks. And I'm sitting with sweetp. I like hearing all the cicadas and the street lights just came on. I am feeling good.

Tomorrow it is supposed to rain all day. Maybe I'll go for a drive. James doesn't have to be in until lunch because it's extended hours so they will be at the museum late. So maybe I'll drive them to work and I'll go to the thrift store. We will see how the day unfolds.

I hope you all have a good night tonight. Until next time

[whentherewerebicycles]

hello! prepare for a long chatty life update. I went out with friends last night and it was so nice wahh. then I slept nine hours and that was glorious too. turns out this week’s sleep trouble was just my usual pre-period insomnia and not my new magic sleeping meds failing me. phew!!! I took Pip to our new vet this morning for his annual checkup and he was such a sweet boy even through the indignity of many shots. 😭😭 I love my little dog so much. also when Pip sits his front paws point outwards in a way that makes him look like he’s posing, and today the vet techs were like ‘awww how sweet! you know that’s actually a genetic deformity, right?’ I was like ummm excuse me. this is the best dog who has ever lived and he is perfectly formed in every way so think carefully about how you describe his flawless & unique paws please!! anyway he is in excellent health and three different people independently praised him for being so lean & well-conditioned. I can’t wait for fall (and/or to get him to seattle) so we can resume his preferred 70 min walks instead of the 30 min forced marches we are limited to in the summer.

then I came home and started working my way through one of the books I bought on evidence-informed learning design in training contexts. it’s interesting so far! not a lot of new content yet but it’s kind of nice to go back to basics and resolidify my understanding of core concepts/frameworks. I feel like it’s making me a bit sleeeepy though so I might just do an hour each day instead of trying to power through. I have four weeks left before new job starts… I think I just want to read two or three of these fairly dense books so I go into the first month feeling like I have an understanding of how the L&D profession overlaps with/differs from the classroom pedagogy stuff I’m more familiar with. I also want to read more about the history and structure of my government agency so I have at least a rough mental framework to fit first-month new information into. THAT SAID as psyched as I am to get started on a New Project (tackling a new job lol) I need to remind myself to also enjoy this time and try to use it to really fully decompress from the year and job search stress. it’s okay to just let myself enjoy this month of very few responsibilities.

next week I need to reach out to my current boss to let her know that I accepted the position… and I need to do that sooner rather than later because they’re starting to process my security clearance and that involves interviewing my references. I hope she isn’t upset with me for kinda changing gears after we talked last, but I’m also reminding myself that it’s normal to change jobs and that I went above and beyond trying to make things work with them… they didn’t move fast enough to make it feasible for me and it’s okay for me to make decisions that prioritize my own long-term future (because academia sure as hell won’t do that for me!). I can’t decide if I hope the grant funds come through & they let me do it as a part-time position with support staff, or if I hope it doesn’t come through and my energy is just freed up to focus on the new job + creative projects. we will see what the universe decides.

we released the first two episodes of our hockey fandom podcast yesterday and have gotten a nice response so far! I am deep in planning/research mode for future episodes and might spend the rest of the afternoon working on that. I feel like my brain is a little bit too fried still to write short things or fully dive into my new long project (I need a bit more rest/recovery I think) so I’m gonna let myself continue taking a little break from writing and instead focus on building out this other project so it’s up and running by the time the job starts. ooh and I am also going to beta a friend’s fic this weekend—tonight or tomorrow tbd.

okay let’s see. going to drive to target now to pick up a curbside order and then I think I want to lie in bed doing nothing or maybe thinking a bit about podcast planning. I have this idea that if we can create like… a planning structure of some kind? a brainstorming and research template kinda thing? it’ll help organize and streamline our prerecording thinking so we can have deeper conversations in the actual recording session. I like the idea of designing a repeatable learning exercise that will make the planning process more seamless, so if we get really busy with real life stuff we won’t have to expend as much intellectual bandwidth on the prep & planning work each week. idk just something I am kicking around we’ll see. mmkay! if I go to target I will have cherries to eat 😍 so it is time to make the quick drive over.

#daily processing

[safetycar-restart]

Alright so I feel a lot better today!! Definitely not 100% but today was the best I’ve felt since I got sick so I’m definitely on the mend now!!

However having said that, I was forced to go for dinner with family and am now so fucking tired from all the social interaction and from already being weak from being sick so unfortunately it’s gonna be an early night tonight and no writing.

However, I am VERY optimistic but tomorrow because I’m gonna have the late afternoon/evening all to myself and I’m hoping I’ll be feeling as good as I did today and then I can do a whole bunch of writing!!!

So no writing tonight but hopefully a lot of writing tomorrow :))

Hope that’s understandable and I’ll see you all tomorrow 🤍

#shelsthoughts

[fenimores-book-nook]

Day 5 of self care writing :)

~ November 20th, 2023 ~ Monday ~

Good evening, it is 9:45 pm, for me right now. Hey, look at that, I started with an actual greeting this time. I didn't do a self care writing over the weekend which felt kinda weird to not write one but I was busy for most of the weekend. So, I thought I should start off the week with one tonight. :)

First, I just gotta say...The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes is one of the best but infuriating movies you will ever watch. I read the book beforehand, so I knew what was going to happen but, ya'll...reading it is one thing, but WATCHING it??? AHG. SO. GOOD. I don't wanna give away any spoilers, so just go read it and then go watch it. Okay? Okay.

I have two copies of the book (obviously) so I had an idea with one of them, have my friends that I saw it with sign it. :) We saw it opening night which is always fun, but a lot of people. It was amazing, though.

Over the weekend, I did some thrift shopping and went to one thrift store that's close to where I live. I think I've mentioned before how I love The Baby-Sitters Club graphic novels. I have just about all the ones that are out and have all the intention of continuing to collect them. ;) So at this thrift store, I saw there were the original books-a lot of them-on a shelf so I spent most of my time looking through them, debating on if I wanted to start collecting the originals too. But...there are like 132 books. So. That's a lot. BUT- I did end up getting four of them.

And they were all less than a dollar. ;) Gotta love thrift store deals.

So I've been reading the graphic novels a lot lately, they're some of my favorite comfort books. <3

Kind of shooting everywhere here, but it's fine. Back to today, I had an appointment that I didn't love, so to cheer myself up, I got some iced tea and had book time at the library, which was the highlight of my day. :)

Of course I'm gonna add a cute lil' photo.

I spent most of my day having a chill day, my Mondays are usually dedicated to that. ;) I just relaxed on the couch and watched Wizards of Waverly Place and also Songbirds and Snakes tik toks because I am obsessed. Until I had to leave for my community choir practice. Which I am not sure that I'll continue after our Christmas concert. But I have time to decide that. I've just found myself wanting to spend my Monday nights cozied up with a book or doing my self care writing instead of practice. ;)

Onto a mindful journaling thingy: I'm gonna use the same Night Journaling I've done before :)

How am I - Lessons I've learned - How to make the best of tomorrow - Gratitude - Affirmations

I'm okay, I think. I haven't felt like I'm going to a bad place since I did the other week, so that's good. I really think these self care writings are helping. :) I almost feel like I could say that I'm okay-good but there's blah and ack feelings that are interfering. But you know what? I can be okay-goodish.

I learned that peace really can be achieved in a simple-type of life. I don't have to be doing something absolutely amazing or even know what I want to do. I can just be living and doing the things I enjoy doing. Like these writings, other kinds of writing, reading a lot, talking about books through here or with others who share the same love for them, just relaxing and watching a show I like, and so much more. I can feel peace through that and that's something I need to focus on more.

I can look at going to work tomorrow as something to look forward to: I have something different to do during the day AND I can make myself a really good, free coffee. ;) I can set time aside to do things I've been wanting to do too.

I'm so grateful for my realization, honestly. My answer to what I learned. I didn't really realize that until I was answering that question. And it's just something really beautiful to realize, I think. :)

I have plenty of time to do things I've been wanting to do but not necessarily need to do. I don't need to pressure or force myself to do them; I can just do them when it feels like a good time to. My own timeline is the only one that should matter to me. Everyone goes at their own pace.

I think that'll bring day five's self care writing to a close! Hopefully these kinds of writings can inspire you and feel proud of how far you've come. :)

Until the next one,

Thalia <3

#self care writing series #journaling #blog #books #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #wizards of waverly place #the babysitters club

[pleaseleavemealonethanks]

In the morning, I open one page and I write:

"Today I will..."

Then I list 3-5 to-dos, usually write, work out, meditate, and then a couple things I need to get done.

"Today I am looking forward to..."

Then I force myself to list a few things I'm happy to do today, to start off positively.

"Today I am concerned about..."

On a good day, I list nothing and I feel great about that. On a not so hot day, I write something I'm worried or anxious about, followed always by a short plan to fix that. I'm worried about my lack of sleep, I will schedule a nap, or go to sleep early tonight. I am worried that my writing isn't very good, I will get feedback from a friend, or I will continue writing and worry about fixing the quality later, or I will check a book out from the library on story structure, etc.

Sometimes I will also say "Today I am grateful for..." And list things I'm grateful for, but I usually like to do that at night when I'm looking back at the day.

After I do that, I usually end up with some inspiration from one of the things I've listed to write about. It helps me to have a goal I'm headed toward, in this case it's been self improvement and following some of my ambitions like writing. Because of that I find that most of my journaling focuses on things I've noticed about myself and my thought process, and why I think what I'm feeling is either valid or invalid, whether or not it's something I can change or control, and usually some sort of plan to fix it or think differently about a situation. Sometimes it's just about the nature of something I've been thinking about or feeling. For example lately I've been writing a lot about Fear, specifically fear of failure, which I struggle with. I've just in a way been self talking through journaling to realize that my fear is something only I experience, and everyone has their own that their concerned with. It's my choice to let myself feel and listen to that fear, and is something inside my lotus of control. Engaging with those fears will only hurt me, and keep me from what I want in life, and therefore is a self fulfilling prophecy even worse than failure.

At night I'll often revisit the thing I was writing about before with more observations and thoughts I've had during the day, or simply just write about how my day went, what my progress is like, what I want to work on tomorrow, what my plan is moving forward based on the changes I've made or attempted to make ("I really wanted to meditate today but I just couldn't bring myself to it. I think tomorrow I will write down an exact time to do it in my to do list so I am less likely to push it back further and further until I'm too tired to.")

I then list 3-5 things I'm grateful for because I've read a lot of studies about how it's extremely beneficial for your state of mind and happiness over people who don't focus on the things they're grateful for. It sounds hokey and I thought it was too, but I think it's working. When things are going poorly my mind is so much faster to jump to those good things than dwell on bad things. You are what you think.

It's worked out really well for me to keep this journal. Instead of, or along side of, dating each page, I tend to write "Day 1" at the top, then the next day Day 2, and so on, it keeps me moving forward and feeling good about my progress. It's helped me refocus my intentions for the day, every day, and allowed me to formulate a lot of the thoughts and feelings and ideas in my mind into actual structure for the page. I've found that it has become a part of my thought process now, and I'm able to voice those thoughts and feelings and ideas vocally in a much more coherent and logical manner than I had been for a while.