#because ALSO I’m kinda feeling scammed because my best friend’s friend who I’ve met a few times messaged me on IG a few months back like | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sinsbymanka · 3 years

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Hey. I'm sorry. So. Your post about sunseekerknight is really long and it seems out of date. I thought everything had been resolved and she promised to make amends but this all started back around again and it sounds like your issue isn't solved. Can you update me real quick? Sorry.

Thanks for being polite and coming to me. I’ll try to summarize things to the best of ability while also noting this is kinda a clusterfuck. It got long, so it’s under a cut.

In March 2020, I commissioned @sunseekerknight (I’m blocked so I can’t actually @ her) to do a Tarot Card commission of my Inquisitor for $80. I sent the money via PayPal friends and family as she requested which is something I no longer do for artists, even though I’d done it before with no problems.

The main post goes over my initial experience really well - the repeated attempts at contact and missed deadlines. This post was made on June 18, 2020 and blew up. I informed Ada that day I was making the post and she told me she’d be doing so as well.

I’d already filed the PayPal claim which was ultimately denied because I’d sent the money via friends and family, despite SSK’s assurances she’d help me resolve it in my favor.

I didn’t hear from SSK after this and I didn’t contact her. My father passed away on June 20th and I was busy dealing with the personal fallout of that (he’d been in the hospital the whole month of June as it was) so my priorities swung towards processing my own grief and planning what happens next.

On July 10th, my PayPal claim was denied. I forwarded the claim to SSK with the following message:

I want to inform you that PayPal has indicated, due to the way you asked me to send the funds (friends and family), they are unable to provide any sort of refund based on their policies. It is your responsibility to make the refund.

Because of the history of fraud I've uncovered, I will be pursuing this further. I am, in particular, asking PayPal to mark this account as one used for fraudulent transactions and scamming money before closing it. My hope is that this account is in your real name and that getting this account marked for fraud has real consequences you have to live with.

I honestly didn’t expect to hear from SSK again, but I did on July 12th:

Oh, I see. Now the difficult situation has become even more difficult. I'm sorry to say this, but, as I said earlier, I had only two offers for people affected by my actions - a PayPal dispute or finished art. And since PayPal is useless in this situation, all I can offer you - is art. I’m still ready to finish your commission because I don't want you to be left with nothing. I would like to return the money, really, but it will take time and I don't know how much, considering the current situation on Tumblr. I still want to resolve this issue peacefully, despite what is happening now. I know that you don't trust me, and I understand this, as well as the fact that you are disappointed, angry, etc., but still I want to do at least something so as not to leave the situation as it is now. But if this is your final decision, then okay, I understand and accept it.

This message struck me as victim blaming. I am, after all, responsible for the situation on Tumblr which means she can’t get commissions. I reacted with some venom and my tone is not great here, but I do ask you to understand the frame of mind I was in here on July 13th:

I don't think it's fair to claim that PayPal is being unhelpful in this situation when it is you who are refusing to refund money for a service that was purchased and not completed. I think it would make me feel better if you started phrasing the "situation" in a way that took responsibility for it. Such as: "I cannot refund the money to you myself, because I spent it before delivering what you paid for, and I cannot get your dispute resolved through PayPal because I asked you to send the payment a specific way that precludes disputes."

I also feel hurt that immediately after I sent my email on Friday, you blocked me from Tumblr and turned all your social media accounts private. I can't think of why you would do this when you claim to still want to resolve this and when I have been more than kind. I find it difficult to believe that you didn't know what my review would cause - it sounds to me like this is something that has been brewing for awhile. Frankly, I'm amazed it took three years. I would also appreciate if, instead of blaming the "situation" on Tumblr for your inability to receive new commissions, you began taking responsibility for that as well. May I suggest: "My actions in the past three years have harmed many people and they are angry about it with good cause. Because I have damaged my reputation to a great extent, I will probably not receive many, if any, people willing to pay me money for commissions."

I fully expect to receive nothing from you: art or my money returned. When speaking with PayPal on Friday, they advised the only way to shut your PayPal account down is if I file a criminal complaint with the IC3, which is the US's Internet Crimes division of the FBI. I did so and sent them the screenshots I have of all our conversations, your posts on Tumblr, and links to the posts of other people who publicly came out regarding the same behavior they experienced. I'm uncertain I can withdraw my complaints from both PayPal and the IC3, and if I could I don't think I would. I'm sure this isn't something that is high priority for them, but I assume eventually they will contact you to discuss your actions. The way I see it, you have three options at this point in time:

Find some way to issue a refund to me, and any other customers you've wronged. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a refund was eventually issued in my case.

Deliver the art you promised to me, and any other customers. If I am contacted by investigators, I will say a product was eventually delivered in my case.

Continue to ignore what you've done and hope that no real consequences come of it.

As to the art, I don't want it anymore. It has been tainted by this awful experience and I will not enjoy it. I will, however, accept it if you choose to do it to lessen whatever consequences you may end up facing because, truly, I'd rather you learn from this than end up with financial or legal consequences that are even more burdensome.

Honestly. I never expected to hear from SSK again. But I did because this is the drama that never ends. On July 20th:

I must apologize for the long silence. Sorry, I just got home from an unexpected vacation with my family, and I followed the advice of my parents and friends - spend these days away from work and the Internet to feel better. As I said, I understand you. You sound reasonable and you are totally right - it is my responsibility for that. And I'm trying to work it out, even if these are rather strange ways. And it wasn't about you personally. This was part of another problem with a friend I was trying to protect, and I followed the advice to keep the accounts private during the "war" and block some people on the tumblr during this time to avoid any collisions. But still, I was available for correspondence via email, and now all my accounts are again freely available. I know how it looks like, especially for you, when you have really been more than kind to me, and I cannot apologize enough to somehow change and improve this situation. I just fucked up on all fronts and I admit it. And I see, yes. I don't mind returning your art or money, it's just a matter of time. These are not days, these are weeks or months, and it is solely a matter of your patience. If you do not mind waiting, then I will try to return the money to you, since you no longer want art for obvious reasons. I understand and accept it, and it's okay. If you're willing to wait, I'll keep you informed of the refund situation and will do it as soon as I can.

You’ll note earlier I told you I can’t tag SSK cause I’m blocked. I’ve never been unblocked since July despite her saying she would. This is also the last email I got from SSK. I’ve had no communication since to my knowledge.

At this point in time I was tired. Really tired. It was bad news I got this email exactly a month after my father passed because I just didn’t want to do it anymore. This is my second to last email to SSK in response also on July 20th:

Please feel free to do what you need to do to manage the situation. For my part, I have said and done all I can. I have asked for a refund for a service you have been unable to provide in a reasonable time frame, and thus you are legally obligated to return my money in the same reasonable time frame. That time frame has passed already.

When I am contacted by authorities about this matter in response to my complaints, I will tell them you have promised refunds but have not delivered. The only thing you could do to change this answer is to issue a refund before I am contacted.

This exchange is draining and unhelpful for me. I ask that you please do not contact me again until you are ready to issue a refund.

On September 25th, I was informed SSK had successfully opened commissions on Twitter and Instagram. This spurred me to send one final email:

I've been informed you recently reopened commissions to buy yourself something and met your goal, even though you only advertised on Twitter and Instagram.

I would like to remind you that I'm still owed a refund AND you shouldn't spend that commission money until you deliver on that art. Please do not rip and entire new group of people off.

There are other people, in the notes of the original post, who can attest to terrible experiences similar to mine. In particular, @starsandskies, @vorchagirl, and @charlatron have all come forward to talk about what she’s done and their experiences. Her pattern seems to be to open commissions, deliver a few, have the rest dragged out of her, and then to not do other ones. I drew the short straw this time.

I don’t know if she’s reading this - if she is, at this point all I really want is an apology, a list of people who are waiting for art/refunds from her, and a plan as to how she’s going to make it right. If she doesn’t do those things, I suspect I’m going to keep getting dragged back into this cluster for awhile to talk about my experiences.

If you’re waiting for artwork Non, open PayPal disputes and file complaints if you need to. The sooner the better.

#manka answers asks #sunseekerknight #this again #I'm tired of it again #sorry guys

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huenjin · 3 years

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2020 year end greetings.

disclaimer: this is going to be very long ( ˶ ❛ ꁞ ❛ ˶ ), but that's how much gratitude i have and so much more of love.

2020. ah, this year was a very emotional journey for me and how i wish i could sing jessi's gucci all throughout. however, that was not the case. tumblr helped me run away from all those irl miseries. these people made me feel at home.

this skz writing blog has been existing from the last few days of september and it came to life when i was losing motivation to write on my main (which i closed down because stray kids made me like writing back again) and it's stayed since then. you guys have stayed since then. grateful, a one hundred times and more.

so, this is rue, getting sappy and so much more thankful for everything i have and recieved with this blog. this is rue, asking you to accompany me for a little more and to listen to the stories i have to share. the is rue with heart full of nothing but love for each one of you.

to each one of my mutuals, for whom i pray to the stars to shower you with nothing but fortune —

@sinisterlyhan ♡ eiko, best thing i ever did was hit you up. how are you always so calm? or at least that's the tone i have in my head when i read your texts. it's so pleasant to talk to you. ily. and let me get started on your writing — you've heard this from me like every day but ma'am, you make magic. you lace stars together to form such a beautiful constellation of a writing and i fall in love a little more. thank you for inspiring me to always do better!

the hyunsung demon!au (whew!) — 01. 02. 03.

this hyunjin bad boy!au

@mochinnie ♡ isa, how i wish you handled yourself with a little more care. you're so fragile and delicate and i just want to protect you ?? so much ??? you're precious and one of the most beautiful people i have met. your characterisation is just perfect and god, i wish i could once write headcanons like you do. thank you for being my friend and for fangirling to me and for loving me. it means the world. psst, ily.

this seungmin fic

querencia | hh

@sparklemin ♡ nara!!!! big brain nara! god i love how your asks make my whole day and how you bring up different minho agendas in my head. you have my whole heart and i'm in love with you bye

girlfriend | bcn

hidden confession | bcn

@bearseungmin ♡ dawnie babie thank you for being such an enthusiast all the time while talking. you're so cheerful and happy and thank you for being this nice <33

beat it to the door | bcn

could listen to you read the dictionary | lfl

@chogiout ♡ yah, kira! sometimes i want to whack the back of your head like i whack my sister's, okay? it's the same kinda sibling love with you. fuck, not ever going to let you leave me. after all, my parents taught me to take responsibility of the stuff i rid innocence of. (lmao, sorry, bitch ily!!)

memoir | jyh

this youth of craziness | csn

@mikoto-ica-fics ♡ mi, bb! thank you for being so supportive. istg, if it weren't for you reblogging that one fic of mine, my fics would have never seen light to this day. it's easy to get lost in the tags hehe. and then i happen to text you and omg, aren't you the nicest ever? i love your story ideas, the way you write, the way you interact with people and thank you for talking to me. you make me want to be better.

entangled | lmh, hjs

power grab | hjs

@toffee-hwa ♡ ana! anaaaa~ you're so enthusiastic and supportive and fuck, i looooove ranting and fangirling to you! and the minute i know you're watching the same kdrama as i am, i just go like wheeeeeee— HAN SEOJUN!!! lmao, but thank you so much for talking to me, for listening and for caring! my romanian queen, you pretty human, you're the best!

yet, pt.i

yet, pt.ii

@chandisiacs ♡ yah, pav! must i drag you back to tumblr from twt? must i? i miss you. i really do and i can't wait to have your arse back here. thank you for being such a lively person to talk and hang out with, eee! and not at how you succeeded nano! inspirational! thank you x

thread of all your legendary aus

starboy | bcn

@unsaidhj ♡ you're so soft. and god i love you? and your aesthetics. it's a thing, ma'am. i existed to see your aesthetics lmao. and then i text you and you're so kind omg. i could never hate you so please, ma'am, stop telling me that in panic? huihui, ily and i hope you stay healthy. place yourself first, bb.

knife under my pillow | hhj

scammer, scammed | bcn

@sleepylixie ♡ yo, neighbor! you reminded me how small the world can actual get! love love talking to you about irl stuff because you can understand how messed up it is! and you're so kind, ah!!

in umbra

passion's abyss | lmh

@dreamyhan ♡ one of the few people i see on my dash and go like — hazeeeeeeeeel! you're just so nice, god. like if cotton candy was a person, it would be you, alright? and then there's your writing ability that skyrocket off the roofs because it is that good. thank you for being so supportive and nice to me! x

next time | bcn

in his arms | hjs

@itsapapisongo ♡ boy, my main man, javi!! your work was once my most favorite thing to listen to. loved how the mall worked and everything. and then there's how supportive you are like omg. if only i could explain the courage you give me. it's infinite. you make me feel infinite. also, #hardhours, right?

george of the jungle

swimming fool

@kabira ♡ typing the url down was even more romantic, manx. don't ever change this. love how strong and bold you are. love your opinions and love your writings even more. you're one of those few people who write like they mean every word from their heartstrings. thank you for providing us with stories to tell for eons. x (psst, ily so much!)

backstreet driving | hhj (that's the first skz fic i read because it was from you and not because it was skz and aren't i glad?)

sic semper tyrannis | lty

@dalknow ♡ the only other person on tumblr that i text religiously on discord. i love talking to you, bb. love getting personal with you. love how i can share absolutely anything. thank you for trusting me. thank you for listening to me. thank you for loving me. can't wait for you to put your stories back up on this acc. you're undefeatable and i know you'll have that known.

to each one of my anons, for whom i pray that you stay safe and healthy and most importantly, happy —

🧸 :: put you on the anon list because in my head you are that anon — my very first one and the one that lit up my whole world. it's kind of a very proud moment when someone wants to talk to you. you made me feel that. you made feel loved. and to see how well your blog is doing now, god, i feel like a proud mother.

🐠 :: my greek princess. the fact that i learnt more about breads from you than from my school makes me laugh hehe. you really did light up my world with every ask you sent me and had me unknowingly hope that you are happy in every minute. and now that i know who you are, i'm even more content because you're a mutual too now!

🍧 :: god, you have a special place in my heart, ice cream anon! maybe because you liked me more than my fic and followed me here even though you were an anon from my bts blog. fuck, if that didn't make my heart flutter, nothing ever will! (hush, your relationship is something i am still rooting for!!)

🦊 |🌹| 🥀 | �� :: the way you guys keep checks if i'm staying hydrated and healthy. i am. and even when i wasn't, your asks made me go drink a cup of water ha! thank you for loving me x

tiktok anon :: ♡♡♡♡♡♡ yes idk what else to say to you but that i would give you a piece of my heart. your tiktok asks make my whole day. it's something i look forward too! thank you for always making my day!

and to my other anons, tagged or untagged :: thank you for sending me an ask. every single one, either telling me to stay happy or hydrated, or that my fic was great or that you're feeling extra horny that day (we've all been there!) i appreciate it and thank you for making me smile! x

to all the mutuals that i admire, look upto and wish we talked waaaay more, let's do it soon please! and to some mutuals that i just miss talking to! —

@nightshade-minho (ily! x nicest bean ever!!) :: @satanssmuts :: @lovebini :: @seraplantery :: @xiaojunssmile :: @chan-skz :: @chanluster :: @decembermoonskz :: @bangtantaegi (queen!!) :: @yunhozone (i miss you!!) :: @inkigayeo :: @vocalyunho

i hope each one of you stay happy, content and loved. my memory is pea sized and so i do pray that i haven't forgotten any! thank you for being my mutuals, for sharing laughter and talks with me for these months i've been here! i’m sorry if i missed anyone, but i seriously do appreciate everyone that i’ve ever talked to on here though! i hope to see you all next year and let's be happy together !!

with much love, x rue!

#thank you 2020 #boost!#rue gets sappy yes!!#.txt

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satohqbanana · 3 years

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Lars on Rhen and Dameon But It’s a Post on r/AskReddit

Warnings: Modern AU, mention of drug abuse, some cursing, probably crack (no not the drug). Also this is pretty anti-Dameon, so pro-Dameon DON’T READ.

Posted by anonymous:

People of Reddit, have you ever had a bad gut feeling about someone that everybody else liked, that turned out to be true?

Posted by orbnotesss:

I still feel so bad about this.

A couple of years ago, I met the girl I consider my best friend, let’s call her R. She used to annoy me so much, but if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have realized I really needed to see a therapist regarding my personal issues. She was one of the first real friends I’ve made in a long time, and I’m eternally grateful to her for not giving up on me.

Anyway, several months into working together in the same company, we meet this guy, let’s call him D. Religious sort, studying for a PhD, vegan I think? Everyone in our friend group loves him. Everyone in the company loves him. Not me. There was just something about him that didn’t click right with me. I didn’t like him, and he didn’t like me. Probably because I was just always suspicious of him.

R begins dating D almost immediately after meeting him, and it somehow felt wrong. I confide in one of our older coworkers about my gut feeling. Tells me I’m just being jealous. (I’m a guy btw.) I keep watching R and D, and I never let them out of my sight whenever possible.

Over the months I establish some patterns: D always works late into the night. Doesn’t say anything much about his family. Keeps asking our other coworkers in different departments about their jobs and their shifts. He talks about this side-job he has, and about this certain acquaintance who keeps lending him money for some reason. I could relate to the family thing since I also come from a messed-up family, but it was just fishy. He stuck his nose into other people’s businesses, and he brags about this other job opportunity he has. Okay, so maybe our company was kinda struggling in this certain period, but did he really have to flaunt off like that?

I tell R about it, and she tells me she’s been thinking about switching jobs to support her boyfriend. I tell her not to. We get into a huge fight because she thinks I’m being an asshole again, like how I was before I got therapy. We reconciled eventually, and we’re cool with each other as long as we avoided talking about D. Which sucks, but okay I’ll take it.

Fast forward to a few months later. Execs launch an investigation on D, headed by R. Apparently he had been using up company resources to fund the scammy business that his shady acquaintance was running. He was trying to get his shit pass the radar, which is why he wanted to know what everybody did. He had also been trying to recruit R into the same scam, and she almost fell for it. He had also been on drugs that his acquaintance was selling, which is why he always owes money to the other guy. Also, there’s also talk about how D was plotting murder against his mother, who was trying to get him off drug abuse, but we’re not sure if that’s true or even relevant. I wish I was making this all up.

However, the execs still love D because D’s mother is on the board. R also begs with the execs and D is just sent to rehab. D is never punished for anything he did, and yes when he came back from the rehab, he got his old position back, and somehow everyone else still loves him.

Sadly, to this day, D and R are dating, and they’re going to be married soon. I could probably excuse R forgiving him because that’s who she is and she still really really likes him, but I don’t understand why and how she could still like him that way. She was so broken and upset when shit hit the fan, and I remember having to drive her back home, make her dinner, and stay with her all night because she couldn’t compose herself. I still remember her crying, and it breaks my heart every time I think about it. She’s such a great, kind, and caring person, and I’d never met anyone more forgiving than her, but I don’t think she deserves this.

I know I’m never going to trust D again. I just don’t understand why she’s still so into that guy. Why would you still trust someone who’d been lying to just about everyone?

Edit: Yes, this is a true story. I really, really wish I was making this all up.

Edit 2: Yes, R and I still hang out together. We just avoid talking about D. I wish we don’t have to do that, because I feel like she’s hiding something about him.

#annelaurant writing #I read too many reddit stories #sorry not sorry #removed fandom specific tags

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zwritestuff · 4 years

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Some Things Are Bound To Be (Chapter Three) - Kyara

A/N: Me? Actually updating regularly and not letting the months go by? Who would've thunk. This chapter actually took me a lot of erasing and deleting, and there are some scenes that didn’t make the cut, but I like the end result! Hope you guys do too :D This ended up being 4.5K, so it’s quite a treat. A million thanks to @fromthenorthernskies for screaming on the doc beta-ing this chapter!

AO3 Link!

Kyne would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy having lunch with Kiara; it was way too different from sharing a coffee and sweets in Kyne’s office in the middle of the day. Now they weren’t alone, and they had to lower their voices when they wanted to laugh loudly, but it was nice. She always has a good time when she’s with Kiara.

She learns that Kiara’s favorite color is purple, her favorite movie is Beetlejuice and one day she wants to have a pet chameleon so when she dresses it up, it changes its color to the one of the garment. Kyne tells her that’s something a privileged rich kid would say, but it oddly makes sense - and that if she ever does it, she expects to see a picture.

When it’s time to come back to the office, they walk through the streets with their shoulders bumping and their hands brushing ever so slightly, neither of them having the courage to grab the other’s hand. That’s until they cross a particularly busy street, and Kyne wraps her pinky around Kiara’s. To not lose her, she mumbles, not sure if she heard her. Their fingers stay intertwined even when they make the walk to Kyne’s office, closer than they should be in an empty hallway with space to spare.

They get a few stares, and Kyne feels her free hand twitch. She tries to brush it off and focus on what Kiara is telling her instead. She’s talking about the ball, and how they will go about dress shopping on Friday.

“If you drag me to go shopping before I’ve had a shower, I’m breaking up with you,” Kyne says, coming to a stop in front of the door of her office, letting go of Kiara’s finger. Kyne could swear she saw Kiara look disappointed for a brief moment, but if it happened she doesn’t bring it up. Why would she, anyway?

Kiara laughs shortly, and dismisses it with a wave of her hand. “I’ll pick you up from your place after you get a shower, then we go shopping. That sounds okay?” She asks gently, clasping her hands behind her back. Kyne has noticed she does that a lot when she talks to her. Not that she thinks much about it, or Kiara for that matter.

“Sounds fine to me,” she agrees, smiling with satisfaction. Kiara smiles back, saying she should get back to her office, promising to text her later. Kyne furrows her brow at that, only the slightest bit concerned. “You still haven’t told me how you got my number, y’know. It’s kinda creepy,” she says before Kiara can bid her goodbye.

“If you think about it, I have everyone’s phone numbers at my disposal. Whether I decide to make use of them or not, that’s up to me.” Kiara shrugs, Kyne stares at her for a moment. She hadn’t thought about that.

“You know, sometimes I forget one day you’ll inherit this whole thing,” Kyne comments. It’s not a lie though. She has never met someone as powerful as Kiara that just decided to hang out with her employees instead of all the other powerful people. Sometimes Kyne forgets she could fire her if she got on her nerves, and treats her like she’d treat an old friend.

It seems to work in her favour, though; her friends always ask her how she had struck a friendship with none other than Kiara, the infamous heir of the company that never cracked a smile. Kyne was always skeptical of that - whenever she hung out with her, Kiara was nothing but a giggling mess, not the stoic person her friends, and everyone else apparently, made her to be.

Perhaps she was the only person with the privilege of being able to make Kiara laugh. She wouldn’t mind that in the slightest.

Kiara just stares at her with an amused smile, and Kyne proceeds to explain herself after a moment. “You steal the cupcakes you bring me and always ask me if I have a spare charger, when you have the money to buy an entire cupcake shop and a thousand chargers if you want to,” she explains with a grin, and Kiara laughs wholeheartedly, the slightest hint of a blush appearing on her cheeks.

She’s decided her new favorite thing is making Kiara laugh, not only because it seems she’s one of the few people able to make her smile, but also because she throws her head back, scrunches up her nose and drops the invisible weight from her shoulders. It suits her a lot better.

“Stolen cupcakes are the best cupcakes,” Kiara jokes with a complicit smile. Kyne chuckles, rolling her eyes. “I gotta go for real now, but have a good rest of your day.” She smiles, waving at her, and Kyne waves back.

“Have a good day, and don’t fire anyone!” She jokingly exclaims, entering in her office.

She’s barely settling down in her chair, wondering when Kiara would text her, when Priyanka, Bo, and Scarlett enter without knocking and Kyne sinks in her chair when they all give her curious looks.

In the grand scheme of things, Kyne hadn’t considered the fact that her friends were all but trying to get her to ask Kiara out and scam her to get her money, only for Kyne to always shut them down by saying they’re just casual friends - they said it so often she swore it wasn’t a joke anymore.

They have questions, questions that Kyne isn’t prepared for answering, because she never really asked Kiara if she could tell her friends that this is fake - though she supposses she can’t, if the conversation they previously had means anything.

“Oh, there’s nothing going on between me and Kiara, you guys are just imagining things!” Scarlett mocks, mimicking her voice. Kyne groans, sinking into her chair and covering her face with her hands. “So you lied to our face this whole time? You bitch,” they complain, folding their arms.

“Normally I don’t agree with Scarlett, except now,” Boa pipes up, “Bitch,” she echoes, and Kyne swears she’ll snap her optic nerve by the strength she rolled her eyes with.

“Would you guys let me explain?” She exclaims in frustration. “There should be a category in the Olympics for jumping into conclusions, you all would excel at it,” Kyne comments, cocking a brow.

Priyanka takes a seat in the free chair on the other side of the desk, looking solemnly at her. “Firstly, you know I would. Second, go right ahead, then. Explain,” Priyanka says, cocking a brow in her direction. Kyne looks at her friends, and they all have the same stern, confused look. Shit.

She bites the inside of her cheek, thinking of something to say that’s convincing enough to appease her friends. She knows lying isn’t good, but if she already messed herself up in a lie of gigantic proportions, what would another little white lie do?

“It’s not like I’m dating Kiara, per se,” she begins, “We’re just getting to know each other.” The skeptical looks don’t vanish from her friends’ faces, and Kyne fidgets with her hands under her desk before dropping the bomb. “And she’s bringing me to a charity ball on Saturday,” she muses, speaking fast enough to make her words almost unintelligible. She purposely leaves out the part about meeting Kiara’s parents, because her brain might be good with numbers, but not with coming up with lies on the spot.

“Excuse me, what?” Bo says, furrowing her brow. “Did you just say she invited you to the Starzy Charity Ball?” She asks, eliciting an over the top gasp from Scarlett and Priyanka. Kyne cocks a brow, is this ball of common knowledge? Maybe they weren’t lying when they said the company could be shutting down and Kyne wouldn’t know.

“When did your hoe ass land a date with Kiara Schatzi and an invitation to the Starzy Ball?” Priyanka inquires, sounding as confused as she looks. Kyne would laugh at their collective reaction if she didn’t feel the slightest bit annoyed.

“I am very charming when I want to, thank you very much,” she replies, matter-of-factly, with a shit-eating grin.

Scarlett perches themself against the desk, folding their arms with a childish pout. “So you’re telling us you’ll be at a ball full of rich people, and you still won’t consider my magnificent plan of scamming some of them, running away and not work a day of our lives again?” They dramatize, bringing a hand to their chest.

Kyne snorts, quickly laughing along with her friends. Of course Scarlett takes every opportunity they get to talk about their “millionaire plan” as if it was that easy. At this point, Kyne just brushes it off as an in-joke.

They stay at her office a little longer than they should, trying to get all the details out of Kyne, but she keeps her answers short and concise, not giving much away - though there’s not much to say, really, and she’s not particularly good at lying, especially to her friends. Especially to Priyanka. Kyne swears she can smell the bullshit even before it comes out.

She’s surprised when Priyanka seems to believe her; out of the three of them, Kyne suspected she would be the one to pick up on the plot holes in her story. But she has yet to look suspicious, so she tries not to worry about it.

They finally leave her office when they notice the time and that they should be back to work, but they make it very clear that they want every detail possible about the ball, and that she’s not going to escape their query once Sunday arrives.

“How do y’all know I’m not going to be with Kiara on Sunday too?” Kyne challenges playfully, earning a screech from her friends. She has no idea where that came from, and almost right away she regrets it.

“Damn, you had lunch once and you already wanna climb on her?” Scarlett teases, making Kyne blush on the spot. She tries to stammer out an answer, but before she can they’re biding her goodbye and leaving the office.

The door is shut closed again, and Kyne groans, rubbing her eyelids. Well, that didn’t go as bad as planned, but it certainly didn’t go as smoothly as she would’ve wanted. She hopes and prays that the last line doesn’t find it’s way to Kiara’s knowledge.

Speaking of which, she hears the text alert go off in her phone, and when she goes to check, she bites back a smile when she reads it and sees it’s from Kiara.

***

Friday comes before Kyne can even notice it, and when she arrives at work that day, she feels her hands twitch every so often at the thought of going shopping with Kiara once work is over. They had exchanged a few texts here and there over the past two days, agreeing on an hour and talking about their boundaries when it came to money - though that was more Kyne's doing than Kiara’s.

It's one thing to let Kiara buy her a coffee or a cupcake; it's not that big of a deal, and something she can repay easily. But letting Kiara buy her a dress that costs about the same as her rent is a completely different thing, and she made sure to voice her concern to her to avoid any misunderstanding. Kiara had understood, but she said that, in the slight case a dress caught Kyne's eye and it happened to be expensive, it wouldn't bother her to buy it.

If anything, it's the least I can do to thank you, honey, she had texted her, and the pet name had left Kyne speechless for a couple moments. She had no idea how to answer it, so she just left it at that. Though she thinks about it more than she should.

She's chewing on a pen, reading a report they had sent her with a request to calculate the budget for a new hotel the company was building in partnership with some other rich people. Exciting stuff to do on a Friday morning, basically. There's a knock on the door, and she tells whoever it is to come in. She doesn't even need to look up to know it's Kiara.

A cupcake is settled in front of her, and she smiles when she looks up and finds Kiara staring right back at her.

“Good morning,” she says, sitting in front of her and taking a sip from a Starbucks foam cup. Kyne bids her good morning too, and takes a bite from her cupcake. “Ready for today?” Kiara asks, with a playful gleam in her eyes. Kyne bites the inside of her cheek, fidgeting with her hands.

“I have a feeling that I should be worried,” she comments, chuckling nervously. Kiara laughs shortly, dismissing her with a wave of her hand.

“Don't be, this will be fun! I'm positive about that, it won't be that different from going shopping with a friend or by yourself,” Kiara assures her, but Kyne isn't sure if she should mention that she mostly shops at thrift stores and modifies the clothes she buys by herself, while Kiara probably spends hundreds in one item of clothing.

She keeps her mouth shut, and smiles gently at her instead. "I'll take your word for it, then." Kiara sets the foam cup on the desk, and claps excitedly.

“So, I think we haven't talked about tomorrow, and how we'll get ready together, or if we will get ready together for that matter--”

“Wait, what?” Kyne interrupts her, furrowing her brow. Kiara tells her that she had thought about bringing her to her apartment to do their hair and make-up together before the ball. Kyne plasters a smile on her face, but on the inside, there's a ball of nerves forming in her throat that keeps her from speaking.

It starts to dawn on her that, tomorrow, she'll know yet another face of Kiara at the ball, and she'll have to act accordingly to it. She'll have to hang from her arm like arm candy, talk to people that could buy her entire apartment complex without batting an eye, and actually meet Kiara's parents, whom she had only seen briefly in the hallways and never dared to look in the eye.

Maybe this was a hell of a bad idea disguised at just being not that bad.

She remains silent for a minute too long, and Kiara senses that something is off; she leans forward, looking at her with a tinge of worriedness, and asks her what's wrong. Everything, Kyne wants to answer, but she doesn't find the courage to vocalize her thoughts — besides, she knows it’s too late to back down, and she doesn’t want to let Kiara down.

So she swallows her fears, clears her throat and tries to lie as best as she can.

“I’m kinda intimidated at the thought of meeting your parents,” she says, which isn’t technically a lie, but it isn’t all of the truth either. Kiara’s expression softens up, and she goes out her way to assure her that meeting her parents won’t be as bad as she thinks, that they’re actually great people. But the only thing that flashes through Kyne’s mind is how fast she will be fired once they fake their break up and her boss is mad at her for breaking his daughter’s heart.

Kiara is talking, she sees her lips moving, but the words don’t reach her ears. Kyne takes a deep breath, and tries to concentrate on what she’s saying.

“Besides, you’re already pretty, it shouldn’t take you too long to get your makeup done, right?” She says, giving her a sly wink. Kyne blinks repeatedly before blushing — well, that’s what she gets for zoning out.

Kyne tries to shut down all the negative thoughts, and gives Kiara a genuine smile. Or as genuine as she can.

“I can try to paint fast, I guess,” she offers, biting the inside of her cheek, hoping Kiara hadn’t noticed she wasn’t paying her attention.

Kiara smiles, the conversation goes on and Kyne tries her best to not let her anxiety eat her up, which is easier said than done.

***

It turns out that going shopping with Kiara is fun, despite the initial awkwardness when she had picked Kyne up and neither knew what to say to break the ice. It oddly felt like a blind date, in which you have no idea how your date even looks like, but that wasn’t exactly their case. So after some moments of uncomfortable silence, Kyne had asked Kiara if she had started How To Get Away With Murder like she promised she would do, and the conversation just flowed naturally.

Kiara takes her to the fancy side of the mall, with stores with prices so expensive Kyne and her friends could never afford, so they took pictures of the garments on display and then commissioned Kyne to recreate them for much cheaper. She drags her through three different stores in the span of an hour, searching all over for something that Kyne likes and agrees on the price of - the later was harder than they had imagined. Kyne doesn’t need her degree in math to know that their concept of cheap isn’t the same.

Their hunt in store number three isn’t successful, even though Kiara insisted she tried on a red mermaid gown on sale that would look beautiful on her - which it did, but it was too tight for Kyne’s liking, and it didn’t come in any other size.

“You know, you could buy me some nice fabric and I could wipe out a whole dress overnight. I did that for my high school prom,” Kyne comments as they’re leaving the store, and Kiara cocks a brow, amused.

“Wait, for real? I didn’t know you could sew,” she says, signaling Kyne to keep walking forward. Their hands brush again, just like on Wednesday after lunch, and Kyne wants to reach for Kiara’s hand and squeeze it tight so she doesn’t lose her in the crowd. But she desists from it.

“Yeah, my Lola taught me new things every time I visited over the summer when I was a kid. She says I came out just like her, because my mom can’t even thread a needle,” she tells her with a giggle, remembering all the summers she spent sitting next to her Lola, watching her sew beautiful garments, rummaging through her sewing room and imagining she was an important designer.

Kiara snorts, grinning from ear to ear. “Now I kinda want to see what you could come up with if I bought you fancy fabrics,” she tentatively says, hiding her hands in the pockets of her jacket. Kyne wraps her arm around her bicep, pulling out her phone and scrolling through her gallery for a particular photo.

“If I pulled this in one night out from some fabrics I had in my house, I’m pretty sure I can come up with something for tomorrow.” She shows her a photo of her when she was eighteen, after she finished doing her makeup and was getting ready to go to prom with her friends - looking back, there are a ton of things wrong, except the golden floor length dress hugging her frame.

“You look so tiny,” is the first thing Kiara says, and Kyne pinches her arm out of reflex, sarcastically thanking her for the compliment on her dress. “Your dress is stunning, but I guess you already know that.” She gives her a playful smile, suddenly coming to a stop. “You know what? I have a new idea.”

“Oh god, not another one,” Kyne dramatizes, and Kiara pinches her back.

“This one is actually good!” She protests, and Kyne tells her to go ahead. “I need to know if you can sew another dress overnight, though.” Kiara’s tone grows high pitched, and Kyne puts two and two together rather easily, though she’s a bit confused.

“Either you wanna take me up on the fabric offer, or you want me to make you a gown for tomorrow,” Kyne says tentatively, cocking a brow. Doesn’t Kiara already have a dress? And why would she want Kyne to make her one, when she can perfectly buy some fancy dress for herself?

Kiara insists on her question, asking her to just answer with a yes or no, and Kyne says it depends on the design; it’s not something she can do if the design is something massive and opulent, like she probably wants.

She pulls out her phone with a big smile, quickly opening Pinterest and showing Kyne one of her boards. “My mom actually wanted me to get something very extra, but I said ‘mom, I’m an adult now, I can wear whatever I want!’. But in the end, I forgot to buy a dress altogether,” Kiara confesses sheepishly, but Kyne is too concentrated on the board.

She sees a lot of vibrant colors that would go well in Kiara, and she tries to imagine how long it would take her to create any of those rather intricate designs. Surely more than one day and a half, she thinks - then, one design in particular catches her eye; it’s a floor length dress with a small cut on the left leg, the top half being off the shoulder. It’s fancy enough, easy to make, and it would look great on Kiara.

“I have a royal blue fabric that would go really well with this design,” Kyne comments absent-mindedly, looking back and forth between the photo and Kiara. “It’s expensive fabric though, so I expect nothing short of a royal dress in exchange,” she jokingly says, but Kiara takes it to heart.

“Let's go then, your majesty, we have some shopping to do.” She tugs at her arm to keep walking, with a playful smile on her face. Kyne tries to ignore the fact their arms are still linked, and that Kiara strokes the back of her arm with her thumb ever so slightly.

It takes her two more stores to find a dress that Kyne actually likes and has no complaints about; it’s a deep shade of green, floor length, with a deep cleavage and some delicate embroidery details all over it. Kyne almost rejects it despite absolutely adoring it, all because of the price - Kiara just swipes her credit card before Kyne changes her mind.

The bag feels heavy in her hands, and there’s a tinge of worry in the back of her mind. What if she wastes her and Kiara’s time, and she ends up not liking the dress she makes? She’d be absolutely mortified, not only because she already cost her five hundred dollars, but because she’d hate to let Kiara down.

Her train of thought is interrupted by Kiara asking her if she wants to have ice cream before they leave. Kyne accepts, smiling gently, trying to push her worries to the back of her mind.

***

Admittedly, it's been a long time since Kyne brought anyone outside her friend circle and family to her apartment. It's not as messy as it is most days, and she'd like to think it's cozy enough, with all the pictures scattered around and the potted plants on the windows to make up for the small space. Kiara says something about not knowing she had a green thumb, while she takes off her shoes and leaves them at the entrance, despite Kyne's insistence that it's not really necessary if she doesn't want to.

Having her around feels weird, especially because just a week before all they knew about each other was compressed to the type of coffee they liked and how much they hated corporative meetings. She eases up once Kiara leaves her jacket on the coat rack, loosens up the buttons of her shirt and her hair, flopping onto the couch and asking with a child-like excitement when will they start.

“I need to take your measurements first,” she says, rummaging through her drawers for her measuring tape. Kiara practically jumps off the couch, bouncing with excitement.

“I can't wait to get a custom made dress from Miss Kyne Aguilar herself,” she teases lightheartedly, and Kyne coos.

“Don't get your hopes up,” she deadpans, getting a giggle in response.

Kyne tries to ignore the annoying way her heart beats so fast when Kiara laughs, and she makes her stand very still while she takes her measurements, but she feels Kiara’s eyes following her throughout the whole process. She swallows thickly when she brings the measuring tape up to her hips, writing down her measurements faster than she ever did, trying to ignore the heat creeping up at the back of her neck - though it’s almost impossible to ignore when she places the tape over Kiara’s chest, and now she’s sure her stare is glued on her.

“This should be quick,” Kyne muses, once she’s finished with the measurements, breathing out a sigh of relief when she walks to her cabinet full of her sewing equipment, pulling out basic molds for the top part.

“You know, if you actually can do this, I’m going to be really impressed,” Kiara says, settling on Kyne’s couch again and tucking her legs under her body. Kyne cocks a brow at her, setting up her things at the coffee table.

“I take payment in cash, not surprise,” she deadpans, eliciting a faux offended yelp from Kiara. She giggles after a moment, spreading out the fabric and fetching for chalk in her pencil case to trace the initial patterns. “It shouldn’t be that hard, y’know? Your design is very standard, I thought you’d want something more, I don’t know, fancy.” She steals a glance at Kiara, who cocks a brow and shifts on the couch, dismissing it with a wave of her hand.

“I’m not a big fan of those big, opulent dresses, honestly. I prefer comfort above everything - ‘sides, I'm pretty sure I'd look like a clown,” Kiara comments, watching with interest as Kyne fumbles with the fabric, making sure it's perfectly symmetrical.

Kyne pauses to meet Kiara's gaze. “I mean, have you seen yourself? You wouldn't look bad even if you wore a sack of potatoes,” she says earnestly, and she's not sure where did the courage to say that came from, but the smile that breaks in Kiara's face makes Kyne's stomach twist again.

“Coming from the woman that can pull off every color under the sun, that's a very high compliment,” Kiara compliments back, causing Kyne to blush slightly and dismiss her with a wave of her hand.

The next hours pass in a blur of cutting and sewing fabric, making sure she wasn't pinching Kiara with the pins, and Kyne's heart beating so fast it may come out of her ribcage whenever Kiara's laugh echoes through the apartment.

#rpdr fanfiction #my fanfiction #some things are bound to be fic #fake dating au #kiara schatzi #kyne #online kyne #scarlett bobo #boa #priyanka love #kyara

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lovelybrittxo · 4 years

Text

where do I even start?

I’m literally only writing this for myself since typing a whole novel out on the computer is way easier than writing this in a physical journal which is what I normally do. I come to Tumblr though when I have way too much to say and don't know how to say it. I just need to get it off my chest before I blow up. so here it goes...

shall we start at the beginning? I grew up in a decently religious household. my mom, sister and I went to church almost every Sunday with all our aunts and uncles. don't get me wrong, I still believe in God and whatnot and I wouldn't change my upbringing in the church for anything. but it may have suppressed my views on the world. something my aunt said to me a few years ago has stuck to brain ever since and I can't seem to shake it. she told me that she actually believes that being gay is a sin and that you can love the sinner but not the sin. so like, she believes if you're gay, you can be gay but don't act upon it/the sin. she believes, for example, that being trans is a mental illness. like, I just can't wrap my head around that. and honestly, she spoke with so much conviction and “sense” that she actually had me fooled to think the same way for a hot second. and then to learn that my other “cool” aunt also believes this... kinda sad. both of those aunts have literally talked down upon family (and our family is very tight knit) and people they love... what would they do if they ever found out about me?

ive felt a lot of feelings ever since I was young. mostly towards males... but also towards females. I just thought the female part was me wanting to be like them or be their friend and just have them like me and accept me as a chill person to be around. but fast forward to a couple years ago. I was bombarded (in a good way) by social media flaunting (in a good way lol) different sexualities and things. its hard to describe but that “world” was just becoming more prominent to me I guess.

I started to try and put my religious upbringing in the background so I could focus on trying to figure out who I really was. ive been doing this for at least a couple years now. and although im still trying to really figure it out, right now half way through 2020, I think im getting closer to an answer. and guess what has helped me the most? tiktok lmao! no but for real, the internet is an amazing place for discovery in any form. after I started to get into real communities online (like kpop and penpaling) i’ve never felt more connected to the internet and it allowed me to try and find real personal help... if that makes any sense. i’ve just tried to put myself out there and not just google my feelings but piece together a map from asking real people over the Internet here and there to try and figure out who I am.

sometime last year (or maybe earlier) I found a YouTube video of a popular creator retelling her coming out story. I just randomly commented on the video about how I had been feeling, not to get a reply but just to comment. but then I actually got a real reply (not from the creator but still a nice person). they said something along the lines of me basically being bicurious. I had never in my life heard of such a word and I had thought that this person was just making it up. one google search later I found out it was a real thing. although at the time of first looking it up I was still very confused about the word... still kinda am? lol. however, just a couple weeks ago I had seen a post somewhere (an ad I think selling pride flags) saying there was an official bicurious flag. I was in shock. I thought it was a scam, but its not, it’s real (I just don't think it’s talked about very often cause it doesn't seem like a solid sexuality that you can claim your entire life). but anyway.

now what i’m gonna say next I don't want to come off in the wrong way (you nonexistent person reading this lol), but I feel like dating a trans person brought me into that “world” a bit more. like, i had literally never met anyone who was trans before him or anyone who was gay or used a they/them pronoun... never. but in his world, all of that was common and normal. and this is where I don't want to come off wrongly... I don't wanna make it seem like because I dated a trans person i’m qualified to be included in the LGBT community now or to talk about LGBT stuff or whatever. I just think because I dated him, it opened up my shallow world a bit. especially because he’s open about it (on a side note I always loved looking at his huge trans flag above his bed. that was the first flag I had really ever memorized because of him. besides the rainbow one obviously lol). like, his best friend uses they/them pronouns, and although i’ve always been aware of that, i’ve only ever seen things about it through YouTube videos and whatnot. I had never had to actually use those pronouns for anyone I knew in real life until I met his best friend. like, everything I knew about that “world” had only been through online researching/consuming. i’d never experienced it in real life before.

I remember one night we talked about it a little. I knew he was bisexual and so I asked him if he’d ever dated a guy. he asked me if I would ever date a girl and i just said that I had always thought about it and that my tinder profile was set to find both genders. then we talked about pride since it was at the beginning of quarantine and we didn't know if parades were still gonna happen or not yet. he said I could always go as an ally because I told him I felt ashamed and like I shouldn't be allowed to attend a pride parade. (of course he reassured me I can go and he wasn't shocked about me liking both genders at all...he just said ‘nice’ lol)

I still have a little inkling in the back of my mind that I still shouldn't be able to attend though. honestly because I don't know what I would be attending as. I feel like an imposter. I don't want people thinking that im doing all this for attention or just because I dated one person in the LGBT community. i’ve been struggling with this for so long... but it just so happens that now at 27 years old im coming to terms with who I am. I just feel like because I didn't figure it out earlier that I’m not “worthy” of being included. I feel like such an outsider because no one’s “invited” me in yet lol because im still trying to figure it out.

and on the same note, I don't feel like i’m worthy because I still really don't have a solid answer. at the moment I just use bicurious because ive never dated a girl before. the trans guy ive been talking about has been the only person i’ve ever been romantically involved with. im serious. I made it 26 years without being with anyone in any type of way. I feel like I don't have the right to call myself bisexual. however, I feel a tiny bit more confident in using that label maybe after I do end up dating a girl in the future and not feel guilty about using it because that same guy calls himself bisexual but told me right out one day that he’s way more attracted to girls than guys and im in the same situation but opposite. the only difference at this point in time is that he’s dated both and I haven't. but thennnn on the other hand, do I even need to label myself at all right now??

even if I did wanna come out, I don't wanna do it until I really have a solid answer about my identity. i just feel like such a fraud or something because im trying to figure it out so late. and like, im going so over the top with my support this year because I feel like I should fit in and maybe im trying too hard? again, I just don't want people thinking its because I dated one trans guy and all of a sudden im huge into the LGBT community. it’s not like that. all of this is just helping me bring out my true self. ugh this is the part where it gets confusing to put into words. i’m aware and I have pure intentions. im just trying to figure out myself after a long time of trying to figure out myself lol

some days the research is overwhelming. there's so many facts and opinions and different people’s stories and labels. as crazy as it sounds I just want someone who’s been gay their whole life to come up and tell me “yup, your bisexual no doubt” lol or something like that. I guess I just want to be validated in my exploration. and i’ve seen random tiktok comments saying stuff like that, that validates me, but the difference is that their comments aren’t directed specifically to me. they don't know me personally. it’s hard to have a random social media comment resonate with me. honestly, and this may sound selfish and not right, but when I was talking to the guy I was seeing, I almost wish he just told me straight out what I was that day. but instead he said I could go to Pride as an ally. and that was probably just him being respectful and not forcing me to be anything, but it almost had the opposite effect on me. by saying I was an ally it felt like he was giving me that permanent label even after telling him I like guys and girls.... ya know?

something recently happened to me that really stuck with me and I was so happy. I have a penpal who is very southern Texas raised religious. she knows the Bible better than I do. I had posted a Pride doodle I did on my Instagram at the beginning of this month and she was the only one who personally responded with an encouraging and supportive dm. if she can support whole heartedly the LGBT community and still love God, then why can't I?? and that's when I trulyyyy knew that I was right and my aunt’s were wrong and I wasn't going insane lol

I wanted to buy a bicurious or pride flag recently. but then was torn when I saw the ally flag (which I also didn't know existed until recently) and the bisexual flag. I know they're just flags but it feels so solid?? like you buy one when you know what you are.... and I don't yet. so I ended up not buying one at all :/

again, there was no purpose to this post because I know no one is going to read it but I just had to type it out into the world so I didn't have to bottle it up anymore.

#lgbt #pride #pride 2020 #lgbt community #bisexual #bi curious #trans #transgender #questioning #sexuality #coming out #me #personal

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poguesofthebau · 4 years

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Hi! I saw that you were doing OBX ships? If I’m wrong you can ignore this lol. I’m a bi girl, 5 foot 2, green eyes and brown hair that’s shoulder length but I have no clue how to style it so it’s usually up in a bun or ponytail, I guess I’m a little chubbier than average, I want to be a school psychologist and I love swimming, cooking/baking, plants, and dogs, and I laugh when I’m scared or nervous, I love true crime tv and I also love taking photos and making things like bracelets. Thank you!

this is some chaotic writing right here, for which i apologize. wound up being a little more about what your cute ass friendships with the boys would be but like..... my attention span is really small so i kept getting off track but that’s something we all just need to deal with bc it’s above me, luv xx

i ship you with kie!! (honorary mention: the moment jj found out you wanted to be a psychologist, he had you dubbed as his personal therapist. first you thought he was just being an asshole but the more he had you sit down for a ‘session,’ the more serious it felt. that’s how you’d get close with jj, and you would quickly become one of his most trusted advisors)

i can see you growing up with pope as your best friend. you two would’ve just always been in the same classes, since pre-school, and that was apparently enough to make you inseparable. pope would be the first person you ever trusted, and then middle school would happen. for the first time ever, you and pope would be put in different 5th grade classes. however mortifying it was at first, it would lead to you befriending john b in your class, and pope imprinting on jj in theirs. (it was jj and john b’s first year in different classes since 3rd grade when they met, and while jb was just trying to make some new friends in mr. b’s class, jj would not be handling it well across the hall in mrs. redfield’s class. that’s where you and pope, respectively, would come in. kie was in the other 5th grade class, with mr.z.)

soon enough the four of you became one big, infamous friend group in 6th grade when the school made the mistake of wound up putting you all in the same class. conveniently enough, this would also be the first year any of you met kie, who was also in your class. she had a reputation for being essentially unapproachable-- she had a couple of friends that she hung out with on occasion, but she spent most of her time with her family at the restaurant. (idk why but i feel like kie would always beg to be allowed to work at The Wreck when she was young, and mr. c would always cave and let her do registers and maybe take an order or two because damn for an 11-year-old girl she was good at it. at least, better than the 16-year-olds he’d hired from the kook academy who didn’t care about their jobs.) because she seemed to prefer flying solo, none of you pogues ever interacted with kiara during the first few months of the school year. the first time you guys ever had a substitute teacher, though, all hell broke loose in that classroom. kids were standing on desks, and throwing shit, and being the little demonic 11-year-olds that they were. the only people who weren’t really destroying the room were you (as you sat in the back of the room making bracelets), pope (who was reading silently to your left), john b (who was doodling and laughing at the chaos ensuing before his eyes), and jj (who was bickering with you and essentially throwing a temper tantrum because you wouldn’t let him ‘go have fun.’ but ‘no calls home today, jj,’ was all you would say, and he knew you were right). a few seconds after you pulled out a stress ball for jj to entertain himself with, a fifth party would be joining. kiara. “hey,” she’d began, standing before you with a soft smile. “can i do some bracelets with you? i’m kinda sick of the riot.” you’d nod, eyes wide as she sat down across from you. jj both watched the whole thing intently, including your facial expressions, and it registered with him immediately. you had a little crush. initially, he wouldn’t even care enough to confront you about it, or to even talk to the other boys about it. sure, sometimes jj would laugh at the way you absolutely lit up when kie touched your hair, or your arm, or you at all. but, up until 8th grade, he would keep his mouth shut.

part of you would wish he’d said something right away. it would’ve been nice to have one of the boys know your big secret, but you were too paranoid to tell them. you trusted that they would still love you the same, but you didn’t trust that they could keep their mouths shut. regardless of your reasons for not telling them, you found out eventually that jj had known your secret all along. it was during the summer before 8th grade, really, when it happened. jj had been out surfing and scamming and roaming the island all day, and he wanted to crash somewhere other than with luke. so he’d make his way to your window, chucking rocks at it until you caught on and let him up. “something happen with your dad?” you’d ask anxiously as he climbed through the window, scoffing a laugh at your question. “nope. decided i didn’t even wanna give the dude a chance. stopping here for a bit, then i’ll crash at jb’s, i figure.” you nodded, retreating back to your bed before offering him a spot on your floor if he wanted. “nah, i’m good. big john already blew up the air mattress for me.” he’d flop down next to you on the small bed, causing you to chuckle. “so, you comin’ on the boat trip tomorrow? big john’s letting us take out the hms pogue for a while. kie’s supposed to be coming, too.” “what about pope?” he’d shrug, then nod. “yeah, pope’s coming, too.” you’d squint at him, flipping onto your back and sitting up to see him better. he looked at you quizzically, eyebrows raised as he waited. “why did you only tell me that kie was going?” he’d blink a few times, a smirk breaking out on his face soon after. your eyes widened, hands flying up to cover your face as you groaned and jj let out a giggle. “c’mon, dude. you think i didn’t notice your little crush?” you’d groan again, peering at him through your fingers. “how long have you known?” your hands would drop, and panic would rise in your stomach. “wait, you can’t tell her. you know that, right? she’s my best friend. she can’t know.” jj would give you a fuck that��face, rolling his eyes at you. “bullshit, dude. i’ve always known, first of all. and, second of all, you should be the one to tell her. tomorrow, before we even get on the boat. just, let ‘er rip, right?” jj was standing from the bed as he spoke, backing toward the window again as you slowly and confusedly followed. “where are you going?” “headed to john b’s. but seriously. tell her. you’re not the only one whose little crush i can see loud and clear.” with that he was slipping out the window and hitting the grass below with a thud. you stuck your head out after him, looking at him incredulously. “you just came here to say you know i like our girl best friend and you know she likes me and then you’re just gonna leave?” jj nodded enthusiastically, shooting you two thumbs up and a bright smile as he began to jog away. “yes! truth’ll set ya free! love you, bye! see you at the wedding tomorrow!” (there was no wedding, but there would certainly be some fireworks.)

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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739

Do you enjoy watching birth vlogs? OMG never. Those are a thing? I would imagine there’d be enough butthurt people flagging them enough to be taken down YouTube, but if they’re being uploaded there and are able to stay uploaded then that’s a really good thing. I’ve seen birthing photosets on Facebook but I’ve never watched an actual video. Would you rather paint on canvas or wood? I don’t paint but if given the chance I’d probably pick canvas just because it’s more common. What regret keeps coming back to haunt you daily? Recently it’s the daily decision to keep ignoring my thesis. UHGJGHFKD I’ll do it and have it finished in May I fucking swear, I just can’t right now. Do you miss someone? I miss all my best friends, close friends, friends, acquaintances, classmates, groupmates, and everyone I’ve ever come across in school including the cats and dogs. If you could cure yourself of one allergy, what would it be? I don’t have any allergies but I wish the irritation in my eye that will occasionally annoy me like an allergy would go away forever.

Do you know anyone else with your name? Yeah when I was applying for AIESEC there were two people there with the same name and even the same spelling - I had never felt so common until then lol. I know more Robins with an i. Have you felt like the main character in a book was you? No, but I know if I read more then I will probably be able to name a character for you. Which country's flag is your favorite? Nepal’s. I also found Libya’s old flag interesting since it used to be just green with no designs whatsoever. What would you be most afraid of happening if you were to visit Africa? This has some pretty awful undertones but uhhh I’d be wary of being attacked or scammed as a tourist, which is just the same thing I’d be scared of if I went to a different continent. Where are you tempted to move to sometimes? Chicago. Have you ever hiked a mountain? I’ve hiked before, but not for a mountain. Who seems like they have the perfect life? One of my acquaintances, Chesca, is reeeeeally intelligent but also incredibly rich and funny and POPULAR and pretty and trendy and an insanely talented speaker and very well-loved. I know no one has a perfect life per se but out of all the people I observe, she’s definitely the one who seems to authentically have it all. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? I only did that once. The only thing it did for me was remind me of how much I was in a shitty place then. Do you think it would be a good idea to post photos of negative moments as well as positive? ^ Clearly, no. I never wanted to take photos of shitty moments after that. What time zone are you in? I never memorized the format but it’s something with +8 in it. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. ^Why or why not? Because I find that extremely personal/private. Do you like dark blue jeggings or light blue jeggings better? Light blue even if I don’t wear jeggings, I guess. Dark blue isn’t as trendy these days. What color is the rim of your whiteboard? I don’t even own a whiteboard. Do you have trouble staying organized? For some spaces, yes. I can’t ever keep my car clean, for one. Throughout college it’s kinda served as my second home so I’ve never been able to avoid having my stuff from home pile up in there instead lmao. What was the last thing you cried about? The Philippine Bar exam results got released today and there was a video that quickly went viral of a family finding out their daughter/sister passed before she knew, and the passer only found out because they were all whooping and screaming downstairs. When she realized what they were making noise for she fell to the ground and started crying and oh my god there is a lump in my throat right now just thinking about it again. Have you ever held a newborn baby? No, I’ve never been in a delivery room nor met a baby a day or two after they were born; there’s just lots of sanitary/hygiene stuff to worry about and I’m ok with getting out of the way for a few days to ensure their health. Do you know anyone who has twins? I know sets of twins, which I guess kind of means the same because it means I am at least remotely aware of their mom lolol. Would you rather look older or younger than your age? Younger. Where do you buy calendars from? I don’t. Do you shop at the dollar store often? That’d be impossible to have here because we don’t even use dollars. But we don’t have anything equivalent to like a peso store either, so no I don’t. What does your name rhyme with? Foreign. Are you following in the career path of any family members? Yep. I have two aunts who worked as journalists; one of those aunts also worked as a radio DJ at one point; my great-uncle was a historian, author, and a professor and dean of history; and I have too many lawyer relatives to count on one hand. Have you ever met anyone who talks like a robot? Yeah, some really bad reporters in some of my past classes. Name something unique about your town. We have an authentic Swiss restaurant. That’s genuinely the most random, unique thing I’ve seen come out of any towns lmfao because any restaurant that isn’t Chinese/Japanese/Italian/American/Mexican is just not a common concept here at all, much less Swiss. I haven’t tried it yet since it’s fine dining but hopefully soon. Who does all the chores in your home? My mom. She’s super particular about chores and likes things to be done her way. Every time we’ve tried to help her we just end up getting yelled at because as much as we try to imitate her, somehow we always do the chore wrong. Do you feel you missed out on a lot as a kid? I missed out on the emotional foundation/support, for sure. I had to figure all that out on my own. What is your best kept secret (or one big secret you have right now)? This blog that to this day, only my sister knows about. Do you have anyone you can tell your secrets to? Yes. ^If so, who? You. Hahahahaha Who was that best friend you ever had? This is in past tense, so my best best friend that I’ve since lost was Sofie. I’m sad we drifted apart but we both seem a lot happier today and that’s what matters. She was an important person in a certain period in my life so I don’t regret the friendship. Do people appreciate you and accept you for who you are? I feel this from them, so I guess they do. What color is your laptop? Silver. What class would you like to repeat over again just for fun? Bio 1 because it was easy and POLSC 180 because I learned so much.

What are five careers you think you'd be good at? Corporate lawyer, any job that requires a lot of spreadsheet-y and internal work really, PR, a consultant for something I’m interested in, historian. I tried to delete this question but I brought it back at the last second because now is so not the time anymore to still dodge my future career prospects lmao. Are you thriving in your life right now? I don’t think anyone is at the moment, and that’s okay. Who do you have moral support from? My girlfriend and close friends, mostly. Who encourages you to go after your dreams? Them, and sometimes my parents. Do you have people in your family who want you dead? That’s horrible lmao I wouldn’t think so? Are the police criminals in your town? Yes. List all the antiques you have in your room. I don’t have any. What Bratz doll resembles you the most? JADE. My homegirl through and through. Do you have a walk-in closet? No. What was the last thing you ate? I had a chocolate chip cookie. What would you do to save money for your wedding? Allot some money from my salary for it, lmao. Have you ever been manipulated, lied to, abused, or controlled? Yes, of course, yes, and sure. Are you against plagiarism? Of course. That’s literally the biggest no-no in journalism.

#survey #surveys

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mittensmorgul · 5 years

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10.07: Girls, Girls, Girls.

ROWENA! At the very beginning of her long, long journey. And :') she has come so far now. Imagine coming from this, and now she's practically a Winchester.

I also love this, because it apparently takes place immediately after 10.06, as they're driving back to the bunker from Connecticut and they detour to this town just so Dean can meet up with the first woman who apparently responded to his dating website profile. Since we've literally never seen him use this app before or since, I've always assumed he HAD installed it because he was looking into those cattle deaths and caught wind of the "demonic brothel" operating in town... because he wasn't so much surprised as disappointed when Shalene turned out to be trading sex for souls. But even more importantly, NEITHER WAS SAM. They just moved on from that without Sam ever ONCE teasing him for being so gullible as to fall for that scam, you know? He may have done so BEFORE they met up with Shalene, and this seems like the kind of thing that Sam would've absolutely used for taunting purposes throughout the episode if he'd actually been in the dark about the hunt from the start. So... logic dictates it was their plan from the start.

The other interesting thing about this episode is the whole concept of Raul's Girls. I mean, we're talking about DEMONS here, who literally can possess whatever body they want. And yet the demons themselves choose not to possess the hookers, but the pimps. They only acted as middle men, having to step in just to sign the contract and then let the human women do the deed. And honestly? WHY wouldn't they just possess the women themselves and save the hassle of having to manage all these women? I mean, to do a crossroads deal, demons just need to seal the bargain with a kiss. They wouldn't have needed to "pause the action" just to bring in some mook in a suit with a stack of legal paperwork to sign. Just... tempt the john into sealing the deal on the spot without having to go through all that other distraction. I wonder how many dudes just decided at that point it wasn't worth waiting around for some other idiot to witness their shame, you know? How desperate for sex would you have to be to sit there waiting for a girl's pimp to come by and kill the mood with legal documents? Tres unsexy, if you ask me. But in the end, Raul and his demon flunkies weren't willing to do the actual deed themselves. They couldn't even convince any of their friends to possess the hookers, you know? Kinda... sad, really. Which makes me 10000000x more in love with Rowena and the mission she chose in killing these particular demons. :P

Unfortunately, Rowena ends up showing just as much disdain for her new friends as Raul did, literally using them as attack dogs to make her escape, knowing the girls would fight for her until her spell burned them up and left them dead...

So much manipulation.

On the other side of the story, we have Hannah's journey with Cas. They're apparently making progress on returning the rogue angels to Heaven, and she's becoming more comfortable in her human vessel-- until she's confronted by her vessel's husband and feels the truly human anguish over what Hannah says and does with her body to convince her husband that she doesn't want him anymore. I mean... it's horrific, and she's overwhelmed and actually experiences doubt in the righteousness of her mission for the first time.

Cas compares her anguish to his over having taken Jimmy's vessel from his family, TWICE. But their situations are in no way comparable, imho. Hannah is CHOOSING this mission. The fate of the world doesn't depend on her rounding up these few angels who are intent on experiencing humanity for themselves. She believes they should all willingly return to heaven and resume their roles as they always had, but so many angels and their human vessels have died rather than return, and she's only now beginning to wonder if she might be pursuing the wrong mission... even though Cas has come onboard with helping her with it. Because Cas still hasn't begun to understood that there's something for him to live for outside of his own chosen mission. At least he has experienced true free will for himself, in his very own body and not a human vessel occupied by a separate human soul. But he's still struggling with what his mission should be, because he also knows he has a limited time left before his second dose of stolen grace will begin to fade and burn out again. He's not yet living for the future, you know? He believes he's living on borrowed time. Which will prompt his first chosen "solo mission," to attempt to at least ensure Claire's future security after what he'd done to her father. And I LOVE this whole entire arc for him.

Just as Hannah left Caroline to go back to her husband to make things right (and heck how do you even begin explaining the truth there?), Cas chooses to do what little he can to make things right for Jimmy's family, even though Jimmy himself is more than six years dead at this point. He might not be able to return Jimmy to them, but he can do whatever he has in his power to at least check in with them and do right by his original vessel's loved ones. It's a promise too long broken, and he can at least make that right before he dies.

HANNAH: It's hard letting go... of a story, a mission. But what of the humans whose lives we sacrifice in the name of that mission? CASTIEL: What of them? HANNAH: We always said the humans were our original mission. Maybe it's time, Castiel -- time to put them first. CASTIEL: Where is all this coming from? HANNAH: Being on earth, working with you, I've felt things. Human things -- passions, hungers. To shower, feel water on my skin... to get closer to you. But all of that was nothing compared to what I felt when I saw him. Her husband -- his anger and his grief. And Caroline was inside of me, screaming out for him, for her life back. These f-feelings, they aren't for me, for us. They belong to her. I know it's time to step aside. [Hannah smiles, leans forward and kisses Castiel on the cheek. Castiel nods.] Goodbye, Castiel.

Because Cas is only beginning to recognize that within him, in this body built at least three times over JUST FOR HIM, at this point, he feels both the Human Things and the Angelic Mission, but there's no separating out the two. They are ALL HIS OWN FEELINGS. And he's been trying to force himself to be the angel only, taking stolen grace and pushing aside his own human emotions and desires, convincing himself the mission comes first and everything else can be ignored. Until he can't anymore. And his first step is going to look for the Novaks. (the rest of his human feelings are still far too dangerous for him to even ponder yet)

And ugh ugh ugh, nobody likes Cole, but we can't deny his role in this episode. If only it had been played by anyone else >.>. But he is a representative of Dean's own past come back to haunt him, and Dean has no choice other than to address it with real words. Not like he did as an unfeeling demon, but after he's been partly cured of his supernatural ills (still got the mark, after all). But his entire conversation with Cole functions as a conversation with his own younger self-- driven by a "mission" for revenge, lacking so many crucial facts, and possibly bungling things he couldn't even BEGIN to understand at the time because of his single-minded focus on his mission.

Yes, this also serves as a reflection on Cas's current state, as well, because how often have angelic Orders and his Mission been justification for his lack of understanding of the bigger picture? "Have Faith" and "the mission is just because it comes from Heaven" were catch-alls to cover what he didn't know, and what he didn't know ended up hurting them all (but also ended up becoming the foundation for them gradually understanding the bigger picture on every level of the story, and through every turn of the narrative spiral).

So Cole stumbled over Dean about to take down Rowena in her first full episode, and at the time it was like GODDAMMIT YOU MORON NOW SHE GOT AWAY! But now? After 37 episodes of watching her character bloom like a rose, watching her journey from pure adversary to trusted family? I have to grudgingly give Cole this one... this one turned out for the best.

But it also gave us Dean saying things for Sam to hear, probably for the first time. He may have been saying these words to Cole, but they were at least as much for Sam, standing directly behind Cole and watching this scenario play out. Their issues since 9.01 had revolved around broken trust, and Sam's belief that Dean only cared about himself, so:

DEAN: Cole, hey, right here. We're talking, okay? COLE: How can I believe you, huh? {shouts] How can I believe you?! My whole life, I've been... DEAN: I get it. That was your story. Look, man, I got one of those, too. Okay, but those stories that we tell to keep us going? Man, sometimes they blind us. They take us to dark places --the kind of place where I might beat the crap out of a good man just for the fun of it. The people who love me, they pulled me back from that edge. Cole, once you touch that darkness... It never goes away. Now, the truth is... I'm past saving. I know how my story ends. It's at the edge of a blade or the barrel of a gun. So, the question is, is that gonna be today?That gonna be that gun?

And dang if you can't just put Cole's words into Sam's mouth here... and this is effectively Dean explaining to Sam that yes, he does understand that feeling Sam's told him he's had since he was a child, that "impurity" he's told Dean about for years having been tained by demon blood as a baby and never feeling like he could truly be clean, truly be the hero. Now Dean understands exactly what that burned felt like, and Sam can't deny it anymore. Sam, who relies on common experience to truly make a connection with others (as the narrative emblem of sympathy), now finally understands this aspect of Dean on a level he never could've before Dean actually said it out loud like this. And Dean (as the narrative emblem of empathy) knew Sam needed to hear it stated this plainly, and finally stopped shying away from actually manning up and saying it.

I'm gonna call it progress.

#spn 10.07 #s14 hellatus rewatch #it's spirals all the way down #winchester family dynamics #sam sympathizes and dean empathizes #rowena #castiel winchester #you learned it from the goats #the scheherazade of supernatural #because 'the people who love me' in this case are both sam and cas #breaking the codependency #using your words #spiders georg of the tnt loop

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osakaso5 · 6 years

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Yuki Birthday Photobook Rabbit Chat Part 3: Yuki And His Younger Junior Idols

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5/p>

Tsumugi: Today, you're chatting with IDOLiSH7!

Yuki: Let's have fun

Tsumugi: Momo-san isn't here, but do you think you'll be fine today?

Yuki: IDOLiSH7's intros are lighter.

Yuki: And Yamato-kun is basically like a relative to me

Yamato: Says who

Yuki: Yamato-kun~ ^^

Riku: Yuki-san, happy birthday!

Nagi: Mister Yuki! Happy birthday!

Tamaki: Hbd, Yukirin!

Iori: Happy birthday, Yuki-san. We look forward to working with you from here on out.

Mitsuki: Happy birthday, Yuki-san!

Sogo: Thank you for all you've done for us. Yuki-san, happy birthday. I wish you another great year.

Yamato: Happy birthday. Yaotome suddenly sent me a message that said "You're my best friend now, too. Your nickname is Yappi", mind if I ask what that was about?

Yuki: lol

Yuki: Yappi, that's hilarious

Yamato: No, it's not

Yuki: I'm Yuppi

Yamato: I didn't ask!!

Yuki:

Riku: Best friends are so nice! Are you best friends too, Yuki-san and Yamato-san?

Nagi: Best friends are a wonderful thing! Have you had a duel on a field as the sun sets yet? :-)

Yuki: Do we have to go that far?

Mitsuki: That's a pretty high hurdle

Tsumugi: I kind of want to see them duel! lol

Tsumugi: Today, IDOLiSH7 will ask Yuki-san questions! Is there anything you'd like to know?

Tamaki: Why'd you touch my face the first time we met?

Yuki: Did I?

Tamaki: You did. You grabbed me by it out of nowhere.

Yuki: Maybe I just liked your face?

Tamaki: Oh

Sogo: Good for you, Tamaki-kun.

Riku: Don't you have any questions about music, Sogo-san?

Sogo: Huh

Nagi: OH! That is right, Sogo. Why not ask Mister Yuki for advice as a fellow musician?

Sogo: I couldn't do that! I'm still learning, and it's not something to ask about on Yuki-san's birthday...

Yuki: And it's not like I've got much to say, either.

Yamato: Hey. Could you be a little nicer to our members?

Yuki: But I don't even know what kind of music he's going to make.

Yuki: I'm happy that I'll have more fellow composers to talk to ^^ I want to share our worries and struggles ^^

Iori: Isn't it possible that he won't have worries to share?

Yuki: It never goes that well.

Yuki: I look forward to hearing Sogo-kun's personal style of music. That's all, I guess?

Sogo: My personal style... Thank you for the advice, Yuki-san.

Tamaki: Good for you, So-chan.

Yuki: Anything else?

Mitsuki: What was the biggest fight you've ever had with Momo-san like?

Yuki: Ah, we did have one of those

Yuki: I forget what caused it, but it made Momo leave our place back when we lived together

Riku: That sounds like a huge pinch!

Yuki: It really was

Iori: Did you chase after him?

Yuki: I did, but I lost him. So I waited for him at home.

Mitsuki: You should've worked a little harder! Though I'm sure it was tough, since Momo-san's a fast runner!

Yuki: There was nothing I could do. I was so shocked.

Yuki: I desperately believed that he'd come back to at least write a letter, and waited.

Nagi: I know the feeling. When Mitsuki and Yamato left the dorm, I also searched for farewell letters from them.

Yuki: It's traumatizing, isn't it.

Nagi: It is :-(

Yuki: I was terrified. My heart was racing, but I kept believing he'd return.

Yuki: For some reason, I started scrubbing the sink

Riku: I know what you mean! When you're in a fight, you start doing all these unnecessary things. When I fought with Iori, I put all my effort into rearranging my wardrobe!

Iori: I'm glad you finally sorted out your closet.

Sogo: How did you and Momo-san make up?

Yuki: Momo came back.

Yuki: When I apologized for making him mad, he looked at me with his eyes all red and said "I'm not mad".

Mitsuki: Wow! Maybe he just didn't want you to see him crying? Momo-san's kinda cute, huh.

Yuki: Maybe it's because that was our first big fight, but we both had a fever so bad we had to stay in bed afterwards. It was over 40 degrees.

Iori: Are you sure you weren't just out of your minds because you'd caught a cold..?

Yuki: Another one was before the grand re-opening. It wasn't really a fight, but Momo kept saying he'd retire if he didn't get his voice back.

Yuki: I hated it, it bothered me, and I was constantly wondering how to get him to stay. I wanted to restrain him, but Momo's stronger than me, and wouldn't listen to anything I said...

Tsumugi: Yuki-san...

Yuki: I was even hoping I'd brought a stun gun to Zero Arena...

Yamato: Why a stun gun? Stay serious until the end, please.

Yuki: I am serious

Tsumugi: I'll never forget how moving that concert was... I'm glad Momo-san got his voice back!

Tsumugi: We've got many more questions for you. Here are some of them!

Choices/outcomes:

1. Isn't it difficult to cook without tasting the food?

Yuki: I don't taste the meat or fish itself, but I go all out on the sauces. I rely on my sauces.

2. Why aren't you nice to girls in love?

Yuki: I think I'm nice to them now. It makes me depressed when girls act like they'll be with you for free and then start demanding things later, because it feels like I'm being scammed.

3. Which member of IDOLiSH7 do you think would look good with long hair?

Yuki: Isn't Tamaki-kun's on the longer side? If we're talking hair as long as mine, maybe Iori-kun. It'd be shiny enough to make him look like he's got a halo around his head.

Tsumugi: Thank you for the wonderful answers, Yuki-san!

Yuki: You're welcome

Tsumugi: I'd like to hear more, but our time is almost up... To wrap things up, let's have a word from Yamato-san, as the leader and representative of IDOLiSH7!

Yamato: Yes

Yamato: Yuki-san, congratulations.

Yuki: Thank you

Yamato: I don't get a lot of chances to talk to you formally, so this is a little embarrassing, but you've been a great help to both IDOLiSH7 and me, personally.

Yuki: It was nothing

Yamato: Whether you're fooling around with Momo-san or being strict, you're always a reliable senpai who I respect. I hope that you continue looking after and guiding us.

Yamato: I'll do my absolute best, too. Happy birthday.

Riku: Happy birthday!

Tamaki: Hbd!

Nagi: Happy birthday!

Yuki: Thank you. I can't believe Yamato-kun said he respects me ^^

Yamato: Well...

Yamato: It's your birthday after all, Yuppi.

Yuki: lol

Mitsuki: Stop this surprise attack, Yappi! lololol Can't you hear me laughing my ass off!? lololol

Tsumugi: That was so unexpected that it made me laugh, too! lol Thank you, Yuki-san and all of IDOLiSH7!

#idolish7 #yuki #birthday photobook #translation #re:vale #rabbit chat

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nicaninetynine · 6 years

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I’m a bit sad today..

Sad, because the game that introduced me to friends online has also made me realize that not all things stay the same. Ragnarok Online unlike any other online games I’ve played, makes me really happy. Emphasis on the really because it really does. It wasn’t the first online game I’ve played but it was the first game that I truly fell in love with. Cheesy, huh. I’ve been through a lot - winning small events, invested so much time and even money, got hacked, scammed and even got my heart broken. But I was sure that it was because of all these experiences that I felt that my social life was very alive even if I was just in front of the computer. I met friends from this game. The reason why Ragnarok Online is a game that I constantly come back to is because of my friends. I met my friends for almost 8 years in our country’s official server back when we were young and were still in what we call “jeje” stage. I could only provide a short description here, but these friends namely Jen, Lisha, Aica, Kring and Ella (we lost contact a few years ago) were the people I never thought I’d share an 8-year friendship with. What makes it fun is that even when RO’s official server in the PH closed down 3 years ago, we still played the game through different private servers. It’s just sad that most of the private servers we played eventually closed down too.. but that isn’t strong enough to stop playing the game we enjoy.

I’m grateful to the Lord that He has given me friends likes them even if we don’t always communicate (busy lives IRL lol). I’d also like to thank the owners of Facebook and Discord for creating instruments of communication (HAHA). Anyway, the real reason why Ragnarok Online also made me sad is because it is where I saw how my friends transitioned to a “regular gamer in the game” to “busy with real life” kind of person. I might be exaggerating because my friends and I still play the game but I always get the feeling that it wasn’t like before - that we might have reached the point that we’d go into our own separate ways. It isn’t THAT major actually. I think I am just exaggerating (seriously). But seriously speaking, I guess we just can’t control that. I have RO friends who are able to play the game while busy with work/studies. That’s great and all but when I think about the future, I realize that it won’t be the same. My friends and I might meet opportunities in real life with regards to their career paths.. even love. Get what I’m saying? We might have played War of Emperium in different private servers, collected costumes and headgears, helped each other with equipment sets, fangirled when seeing a hottie player (hehe), meeting each other in real life or just simply sat and did little chit-chats in the area we that we became friends -- Payon Forest BUT who knows what the future holds? As we grow older, we realize that Ragnarok Online has always been a part of who we are but we just can’t stay in it forever, can we? That thought scares me.. That we would arrive to the point that we have to bid our goodbyes to each other because we have bigger responsibilities and opportunities but at the same time, thanking them for the great x years of friendship. In simple terms, that we might permanently stop playing the game.

Ragnarok Online wouldn’t be Ragnarok Online if it weren’t for all the experiences and memories made with our friends. We might live a hundred or a thousand miles apart (I’m the farthest tbh. We have friends abroad but in the PH, I’m the farthest from my friends living here in the country), but thanks to internet connection and mobile data, the 8 years of playing felt like my friends were just like real life friends. Throughout the 8 years, I have not only met the 5 friends I mentioned earlier. I call it “group”, this “group” has grew by meeting different people in both official and private servers.

~TIMELINE~ OF THE GROUP!

2010-2011: Firsts

I was part of this “group” called Tropang Payon Forest (TPF), the first word is in Filipino which means Tropa or Friends in English so it’s like Friends in Payon Forest. I think they already existed even before 2010 (the year I first played Ragnarok Online) and by that time Payon Forest was filled with people but some people stopped playing by 2011. I temporarily stopped playing around January 2011 and played again on October of the same year. When I came back, Payon forest was empty. January was still filled with people summoning monsters from dead branches! Wth. It was then I discovered that some players migrated from Payon Forest to Prontera Field! These two maps share something in common: They are both located south of Payon Town and Prontera respectively. I visited Prontera Field, it became a place where I could spend my time AFK-ing but the people there weren’t the same people in Payon Forest - my friends quit the game. I don’t know why because I kind of “left” my friends back then. I got really sad because my account got hacked and even got my friend’s item stolen.

2011-2012: Reunion

By this time, I got in touch with some of my friends (Jen and Lisha). I deleted my RO friends when I quit in 2011 because I did not want to be reminded of the game anymore so I added them again when I played again until news spread and my friends played the game again. It was also this time that I first played a private server with them! I also met additional TPF friends, Erika and Nald.

2013: Private Servers again

We played a private server but I had to temporarily stop playing because I was busy with school. In a certain server (Fatal RO), Lisha and Kring who stayed active made friends there. These friends, we still communicate with them from time to time even played with them around 2016-2017. Hello to the friends I made here even if I was inactive. Hi Ronnie! There were some others but I actually never got to become official friends with them, it happened in 2016 though.

2014: Official Server

Ever since school became busier, I only played during summer vacation, semestral and Christmas breaks but if my memory serves me right, we played in the Official server during this time.

2015: Busy, Official server closed down

We got really busy and inactive but I wasn’t that sad because we still communicated with each other through social media.

Late 2015: New Private Server

A friend of ours made a private server so we decided to play RO again. Negative RO was the name. I stopped playing because of school around January 2016.

2016: FO

Not finger offensive but friendship over. A LOT happened during this year. I still play during vacation, when I came back March 2016, my friends had really strong equipment now. Their guild was really strong and I was kinda left out (HAHA). Good thing my friends were there to help me so I was able to join a few wars. The best WoEs happened when I wasn’t around (daaamn it), so when I came back there were a few people because apparently, my friends’ guild always had the advantage of beating them. I think the server only had two guilds left playing and this was where friendships started to fall. I hope nobody from TPF/Fox reads this because I’m going to narrate bits of a conflict that appeared out of nowhere.

NOTE: My narration will only be one of the things that have caused problems between the persons involved. I don’t have the best memory out there and I will narrate only what I remember correctly!

My friend, L was the guild leader of Fox (our guild) and there was a time that she could not play in a certain WoE night. She passed the guild leader position to S, a good player in my opinion but S had a poor connection so he wasn’t able to play properly. J, got disappointed and thought that the guild leader position should have been passed to someone else (I think L liked S and also thought that S had the potential to lead the guild) but J was still upset. Bla bla bla I was busy with school and then a notification from Messenger showed up. A new group was made without L. This was another guild but had the Fox members in it except for L. I felt bad for L so I stayed with her for a while, we were both in a guild led by her friend. I was still busy because of school that time so I still wasn’t that active, I even hoped that J and L would fix the problem. It didn’t happen. Things even got worse (won’t narrate them because I might write wrong information because my memory isn’t that good especially when it comes to things like these lol + read NOTE above). When school ended, I played again. I decided to play with the new guild so L also became an enemy in WoE. I think I was neutral at that time(?). I wanted them to be friends again.

The private server also closed down without them being friends again. L still plays with us when she isn’t busy until now.

Problems aside, I also made friends with people I should have met if it weren’t for me being inactive for sooo long. Will greet them through the letters of their first names. Haha. I’m too shy to actually greet them loool. Basta yon. If ever one of you reads this (super duper low probability of ever happening), I included short descriptions of how we met OR a random description about you! Hi to my good friend Z which I talked more in iRO, Japan friend G, Digital artist D, cousin of a classmate of mine J, became friends because I adopted him c, cousin of the person before this N, ROPH friend M, event gm I, love of the life of a friend of mine E, and another gm R.

Late 2017: New Server again

I was in 12th grade, graduating actually. I became really busy by this time! My friends played another server. They were all there but I wasn’t because I was super busy with school as usual. I became friends with R also a Negative RO player and RoS master A. I was too late for all the action. When I played, there were two guilds left playing! Whew.

2018: The present

Who would’ve have thought that we’d come this far? It has been 8 years since I played Ragnarok Online, met different people and had my own share of good and bad memories. As I type this super long composition, I only hope that our future may be good for each of us. Ragnarok Online isn’t the only game that we are playing now, there are many to mention! Just kidding. I’m sad that we might not play Ragnarok Online in the future anymore but I’m happy to have come across people who turned into friends that I can keep in my lifetime. Very cheesy. Masyadong OA, I tell myself. But friends or companions are one of the main factors to be able to keep playing a game. Playing becomes really boring when your friends don’t play with you anymore and I’m really happy and thankful that my friends have stayed the same fun people I met when I first talked to them. Lord, I cannot thank You enough! You have given me the opportunity to meet all the other people I’ve met in Ragnarok Online. I hope we cross each other in private servers again because I miss playing with everyone. I know we just recently played a private server but I have to focus on my responsibilities too.

All the love,

Mon

#personal #ragnarokonline #ragnarok online #ragnarokph #mmorpg

2 notes · View notes

singulari-taee · 7 years

Text

Mr. Smartass [M]

What happens when you get partnered with know-it-all, Kim Namjoon, for a class project?

4k / smut / college!AU

“You will be partnered with...Namjoon Kim.”

Your professor’s words hung in the air, tension filling the large classroom.

Your fists clenched by your sides, trying your best to keep a neutral expression because you knew all eyes were on you, waiting for a reaction. Despite praying to be matched with your best friend, your professor’s “random” selection process had other plans. Just your luck, you had been partnered with the resident class know-it-all.

Just perfect.

Namjoon was an exchange student from South Korea that had come earlier in the semester, though you honestly wouldn’t have known he wasn’t born in the States because his accent was almost unnoticeable. There’s always been some palpable tension between the two of you, even dating back to the first day of class. Whenever you went to answer a question, he would refute it with some smartass comment. The two of you would go on for minutes, debating heatedly back and forth from across the classroom while everyone looked on like they were waiting for things to get violent (and it almost did, several times you had to stop yourself from throwing your textbook at his perfectly groomed head).

You both were undoubtedly the best students in the class, though, if Namjoon’s grade was even a decimal point higher, you knew it was because he kissed the professor’s ass way more than necessary.

Your professor continued reading the rest of the pairs from his list and you took a deep breath, thinking of ways to get out of this assignment.

“I’m expecting great things from you all,” he said, looking between you and Namjoon with a smile before sending a wink in your direction. Your jaw dropped; this was definitely a setup, “Class is dismissed! Don’t forget to meet up with your partners before you leave and exchange emails and phone numbers!” he called over the sound of thank you’s and chairs scraping against the floor. Putting your pride aside, you rose from your chair and walked to the other end of the room, rolling your eyes as you passed your best friend. She was gave you a pitiful smile as she spoke to her partner, a boy with a headful of greasy curls that covered half his face.

You finally made it over to him, and his eyes were trained on something he was reading on his phone.

“Namjoon,” you said cordially.

“Y/N,” he replied dryly, not even bothering to look up from the device.

“What’s your email?” you asked.

“I think phone numbers would be better. Faster communication is more efficient don’t you think?” he asked in that deep voice you hated so much, boastful eyes lifting to meet yours.

Your jaw clenched in annoyance and you painted on a smile, opting to keep it civil, “Sure.”

You traded phones and tapped your number into the sleek device, amazed. He had the same phone as you, except his was the newest model that had only been out for a couple days, if that. You’d heard that he was rich, which would explain how he managed to live in the best student apartments as a freshman. You had even seen him whip out of the student parking lot before in a rather expensive looking BMW, shades on as he looked in your direction haughtily before speeding off. Suddenly his arrogance had a lot more meaning.

He held your phone out with a limp wrist, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for you to finish typing. You scoffed at his nerve, taking even longer just to get under his skin. You snatched your phone away and put his on the desk instead of his waiting hand.

“I’ll call you, don’t call me,” you said turning on your heels and walking out of the class, leaving the boy dumbfounded.

You were splayed out on your bed, phone to your ear, “He’s such a smartass! ‘I think phone numbers would be better. Faster communication is more efficient’ like okay, maybe, but just shut up and take my email, asshole!” you ranted.

Your best friend snorted on the other line, “Be grateful, at least you got him and not Reeking Randall. He literally smells like piss and energy drinks, Y/N! I felt my nose hairs singe every time I tried to breathe,” she whined, “And I swear I saw him pick his nose and eat it when he thought I wasn’t looking.” You felt your phone buzz on your ear, and you looked at your screen in confusion at the message that flashed across it:

Namjoon: Let’s meet up in the library tonight at 10. Best to get an early start.

“What the hell?”

“Exactly!”

“No, guess who texted me?”

“Your mom…?”

“Mr. Smartass.”

“Shut up! What he say?”

“He wants to meet me at 10 in the library. It’s a Friday night and the project isn’t due for another week. I almost feel bad for him, he really must not have a life.”

“So what are you going to do?”

You stopped to reassess. While people were out at parties, here you were in your pajamas, sprawled out on your bed on the phone in a face mask. In all honestly, it didn’t look like you had much of a life right now either. And if you got most of the project done tonight, you wouldn’t have to see him again outside of class.

It was a win-win situation.

“I’ll do it,” you sighed into the other line as you typed

You: I told you not to call me.

Namjoon: Actually I’m not calling you, I’m texting you so :)

You: Calling was a general term, meaning don’t initiate communication with me via cellular device at all if you really want to get specific :)

Namjoon: Well here I am so :) You: :)

Namjoon: Look are you coming to the library at 10 yes or no?

You: Yeah

Namjoon: Great, bring your textbook, a notebook, and your laptop.

You: I was already going to so thanks for nothing

“You’re going? Wow, look at you being the bigger person,” she mused, “You might hate me for saying this but Namjoon is kinda...cute?”

You cringed, “I know you’re not talking about Sir. Know-it-all, smartass, ‘Well actually I read a study on that’, Namjoon Kim.”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s the height and the dimples that do it, but you have to say he’s not bad looking.”

“He’s nothing special,” you shrugged.

“Lie if you want to, but I have to go scam that sophomore Seokjin out of a free pizza. Have fun with Namjoon,” she said suggestively, and you knew she was wiggling her eyebrows.

“Not if I’m lucky,” you muttered before hanging up, staring up at your ceiling wondering why you agreed to join the devil himself.

At 9:50 you were approaching the library, hoodie pulled tightly as it was dotted with raindrops. You: I’m almost there, where are you? You typed.

Your phone buzzed a second later.

Namjoon: I’ve been here for the past 20 minutes. 4th floor.

You couldn’t help but laugh. Of course he was.

When you walked through the door of the grand building, you didn’t know what you were expecting. The entire place was a ghost town, no one there besides a couple dead looking desk workers, because nobody in their right mind would be at the library at 10 pm on a Friday if they didn’t absolutely have to be. You rode the elevator up, and when you turned the corner you saw Namjoon sitting alone at a table. His books were spread out in front of him as he typed something into his computer, a look of concentration etched onto his face. When he heard the ding of the elevator he looked at your approaching figure.

“You’re finally here,” he said. “What do you mean ‘finally’? I’m actually early,” you said.

“I’ve still been waiting for 20 minutes.” “You did that to yourself, Einstein,” you sat your backpack down on the floor and began taking your hoodie off.

Namjoon’s eyes scanned over your outfit silently as you unpacked your bag. You were wearing a V-neck t-shirt that dipped down low enough to show a hint of cleavage, and your favorite pair of leggings that hugged your curves snuggly. They were the first things at the top of your hamper and you threw them on without as much as a second thought. Namjoon averted his eyes when you sat down and looked at him.

“So I was thinking we could do our project on the role socioeconomic status plays in character development in early 1800s literature.”

His face scrunched up, “Nah, that’s like borderline high school level stuff. We have to dig deeper.” You rolled your eyes, “Okay then do you have any bright ideas?”

“I’m glad you asked that,” he said, pulling out a thick packet of printed sheets from a folder, “There. The portrayal of race relations in Korean War literature and how they differ between the States and Korea. See, its sophisticated and also challenges any preconceived notions.”

You held the heavy pages in your hand, “When did you have time to do all this research? We literally just got the assignment 2 days ago.”

He rolled his eyes, “Please, I saw this assignment on the syllabus at the beginning of the semester. I’ve had those pages for months.”

You huffed and slid the pages back across the table, “Why the hell do you have so much information? It’s a class project not a senior thesis, Jesus.” “I like to be thorough,” he said,

“Whatever, I still think my idea is better, it actually follows the prompt.”

“Well I know mine is better, so just go with it.”

“No,” you fought, “I even checked my subject with Professor Dawson during office hours and he said it was terrific, so why don’t you stop being difficult, listen to the man, and do it?” “Because unlike him, I won’t settle for your mediocrity.”

“Mediocrity? You want to know what was mediocre, Namjoon? Your in class response to Shakespeare's Sonnet 18, asshole.”

Namjoon put his tongue in his cheek, annoyed. You folded your arms and smirked, “Look, I’m doing our project on race relations. Now you can do your little ‘Intro to 10th Grade English’ project if you want, but I’m doing my own thing.”

“Well fine! Make it harder for yourself, I’m doing our project the way I want.”

“Fine!”

You both went silent as you began typing furiously at your laptops, the 4th floor filled with the sounds of tapping keys and angrily scribbled notes. Never in your life had you met someone as full of himself as the boy sitting across from you. Who knew the rich kid with the personality of a wet gym sock could make your blood boil this way.

As you typed fervently, you looked across your computer at him. He was concentrated, his face scrunched up, revealing the dimples your best friend had mentioned earlier. You had never been this close to him for this long before, and wondered how you had missed this feature altogether. As he took notes, you watched how his slender fingers held the pencil, the veins across his arms showing as the tool danced across the page. He wore a tan, long sleeved cotton shirt and sweatpants, 2 very out of character wardrobe pieces for him. Namjoon never came to class in anything more casual than a button up, wanting to make a ‘good impression’. The way the material clung to his body was almost...attractive?

You had to reel yourself back in. Namjoon? Attractive? You had to admit, the boy wasn’t ugly, nowhere near it. But his wise guy personality took him down a few notches in your eyes. If he didn’t act the way he did, the two of you probably would be friends right now, instead of working separately on a partner project that was worth 20% of your final grades.

His glasses hung on the tip of his nose, giving him a look that could only be described as sophisticated yet sexy. You almost slapped yourself. You attributed your unacceptable thirst to the fact that it was a Friday night and you were horny, and instead of getting some, you were stuck in a library with this asshole.

But even you had to admit, he did look really good tonight--

“Enjoying the view?” he asked, eyes boring into yours over his glasses.

“Hardly,” you said, straightening up. You realized you had been biting your lip the entire time.

“Whatever you say. How’s your research coming along?”

“Perfect, I have two more sources to find and then I should be in the final stages, you?”

“I’m done.”

You stared blankly, “Done? How the hell are you already done with a 6 page paper and an entire powerpoint presentation?” “I work quickly, efficiently, thoroughly,” he shrugged, “That’s probably why I have the highest average in the class.”

He said that knowing it would strike a chord with you, and he smirked when he saw your expression darken, “You say that like you’re so sure.”

“I am,” he said, “Why else would Professor Dawson recommend me for that upcoming summer internship,” you bust out laughing, throwing your head back obnoxiously, “What’s so funny?”

“The fact that you think you’re special,” you said, “He also recommended me for that internship, and for a tutoring job in the department next semester.”

“You? A tutor? My prayers are with those kids and their GPAs.”

“Fuck you”

“Wouldn’t you like to,” he replied.

You chuckled, your subconscious beating away the thoughts that swooned at the idea.

“Woah, you are so full of yourself! No thank you, I’ll pass.”

“The way you were just staring holes into my face says otherwise,” he challenged. “I was trying to decide the best way to kill you and make it look like an accident. Right now I’m up to 3 ideas.”

“Whatever, all the other girls want a piece of this, it’s okay to be a fan.”

“A piece of what?” you asked, looking around the library, “I can’t find anything anyone would want a piece of.” “The girls love me.”

“Sounds fake but okay,” you said, shaking your head.

“What about you? I don’t see any boys lining up to court you.” “You don’t have to see it, just know it’s actually happening unlike the little delusion you’re living.”

“Sounds fake but okay,” he mocked.

“If you get a girl you probably don’t know how to keep her satisfied long enough to stay,” you said matter of factly.

“I don’t know how to keep a girl satisfied?” he asked, an eyebrow raised.

You nodded, “You seem like the type that when a girl gives you directions on how to touch her, you’d be like ‘I know what I’m doing’ and she never cums because you can’t follow simple instructions.”

“Wrong, I always put my partner’s pleasure first,” he corrected, “Shows you how much you know about me.”

Your eyebrow raised involuntarily, “Do you really?”

“Like I said, I work thoroughly,” he winked, “in all aspects.”

His words stayed suspended as the two of you stared at each other. His dimples showed once again as he smiled at your dumbfounded expression. You could feel your face heating up at the prolonged silence as you thought over his words.

All aspects. Oh God, it was too late and you were too horny for this.

Your legs clenched together as you took in his perfect teeth and deep dimples, feeling the butterflies in your stomach morph into a restless feeling in your core. How could he be smart, rich, and good looking? It just wasn’t fair.

You tried to busy yourself with whatever was on your laptop, but you could feel his eyes on you. You didn’t dare to look up, or you knew you’d be done for. He looked over you again, taking in the way your eyes scanned over your screen as you refused to look at him. The left out curls from your messy bun fell into your face, making you look almost dainty. He would be lying if he said you weren’t cute. Sure, you had a smart mouth, but no other girl ever had a comeback for the things he said like you did. It was kind of refreshing. His eyes went down to your shirt, zoning in on the way your exposed chest looked as your arms pushed your boobs together. Did you always have boobs? It was kind of hard to notice when you were screaming at each other across the classroom.

You decided it to risk it just once. You looked up for a second, and when you did, you saw that his eyes were trained on your exposed cleavage and you immediately sat up straight and crossed your arms. Your chair scratched against the floor loudly as you backed away and stood up, “I’m going to go look for more sources,” you muttered before walking away.

Namjoon watched you retreat, vision trained on your ass and the sway of your hips in your leggings. His sweatpants suddenly felt tighter. Unsure of what possessed him in that moment, he placed his glasses on the table and followed you.

You internally screamed at yourself, wondering how of all people, resident class smartass Kim Namjoon was making you all hot and bothered tonight. Just minutes ago you were fighting like cats and dogs and then suddenly you were talking about sexual pleasure. Flustered beyond words, you walked to the very last shelf in the back of the floor.

In the quiet, you heard footsteps come up behind you, and suddenly the dusty books on the shelves were incredibly interesting. You kept your eyes trained on them, but by the sound of it, he was standing directly behind you in the tight space.

“Why are you following me? I thought you were done,” you said in a more timid voice than you’d like.

“Just looking around.”

You ignored him, and continued to comb through the texts, still aware of how close he was. Out of nowhere, he came up even closer behind you, reaching over your head for a book with his chest pressed against your back.

You froze, “You’re so close,” you said dumbly.

“You don’t want me to be?” he asked, mouth pressed against your ear.

You had forgotten how deep his voice was, the sound like honey as it sent a shiver up your spine, your breathing shallow. If you weren’t mistaken, you could feel his length on your butt through his sweatpants. Slowly, you turned around to meet his stare. You had never seen that look in his eyes before, the only way to describe it was hungry. Your eyes shifted down to his plump lips. They looked so soft, and from the feeling in your core you could tell you were craving some part of him. He looked at you, waiting for permission to push forth, and you nodded, meeting his lips in the middle. Almost immediately it was a fight for dominance. He held the nape of your neck as he deepened the kiss, you gripping his hair to get a better angle. He pushed you against the bookshelf, hearing some books hit the floor in the process. His lips were as soft as they looked and you absolutely despised him for it. You were angry now, how was he also a good kisser? You wondered how this was happening, and most importantly, why you were actually kissing him back and enjoying it.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” you manage to get out, grabbing his shoulders and pushing him to the opposite shelf.

“And you don’t know when to shut the fuck up,” he growled.

He grabbed your leg and hoisted it up to his side roughly. Your foot was on the shelf as he grabbed your ass in his hand, squeezing it and eliciting a moan out of you even though you tried to choke it back. You hated the way he got this reaction out of you.

“You like that?” he asked.

“Maybe,” you responded. You began to grind your hips into his bulge, and when you heard him hiss you smiled in satisfaction. He squeezed your ass again, this time smacking it loudly. You clutched onto him as you moaned again, “Fuck you,” you said, grinding deeper into him.

All of his touches were rough, harsh in his attempt to gain control over the situation. But by how hard he was already, it was obvious he was losing the battle. He paused for a second as he got an idea.

Suddenly, the hand that was on your ass disappeared, and found itself playing with the hem of your leggings. Before you knew it, it was already dipping inside your underwear.

“Lace, my favorite,” he commented.

“I didn’t put it on for you, don’t be so cocky.”

You felt his long fingers touch your clit and you flinched at the sudden sensation, “Wait there’s probably cameras everywhere.”

“I’m 90% positive there’s no working cameras up here. And even if there were who’s checking them?”

You remembered the workers at the desk from earlier. You knew they had monitors to check the cameras on every floor, but whether or not they were for show you weren’t sure. But if you two were being watched, they sure were awake now.

Though, when you felt him circle around your clit with his index finger, suddenly none of it mattered anymore.

His fingers played back and forth over your slit, all the while he stood kissing and sucking at the sensitive parts of your neck. Your mouth was open, reveling in the feeling. You were dripping now, all you wanted was to feel him inside of you. As if on queue, he slipped two fingers into your wet core. You gasped and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“No warning?!”

“Oops,” he said.

He began to pump his digits slowly, testing the waters and watching your face for a reaction. You tried to keep it expressionless, but you couldn’t help it when your eyes rolled to the back of your head. How was he good at this too?

“Faster,” you breathed.

He pumped in and out of you quickly, his fingers curling inside. Your breathing was shallow, and your grip on him was getting tighter and tighter. You knew you would be unwinding any second now if he kept it up like this.

He began to move his fingers in a ‘come hither’ motion, right at your g-spot and you moaned loudly in the near silent floor.

“Be quiet!”

“Make me!” you challenged.

With his free hand, he covered your mouth, still fingering you hard and deep to silence the moaning mess you had become. It was all too much, and with your leverage, you rode his fingers, swiveling your hips around them as he bit his lip. He used his thumb to rub your swollen clit and you knew it was over.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum,” you gasped.

“Cum for me, baby.”

Grinding onto his palm one last time, you came undone. You tightened around him, shaking as you saw stars.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” was all you could say as you came down from your high, breathing heavily. That was the best orgasm you've ever had with anyone, period, “I’ll give it to you, you are thorough.”

“Wow you’re finally admitting I’m good at something?”

You shrugged, “I guess you do know how to do more than be a smartass.”

He pulled his long fingers out of you, looking you in the eyes and sucking them dry. His tongue went in between the digits to get every last drop. Your mouth opened in shock.

“Just being thorough,” he said.

“Excuse me,” said a voice, making you untangle yourself from Namjoon and jump back, “Whoever is behind the bookshelf, just make sure you clean up after yourself. I don’t get paid enough to deal with bodily fluids.”

You held your mouth as your face heated up in embarrassment, Namjoon staring like a deer in the headlights, unsure of your next move. You looked over at the wall clock: 12:05. You had forgotten...the school cleaning crew came at midnight.

“I let you all finish, I know you’re back there, don’t be all shy now!”

You and Namjoon sighed before walking out from behind the bookshelf, coming face to face with a middle aged woman that looked like she had had enough of this shit. You smiled apologetically as you walked past, darting to the table to pack up your stuff and make it to the elevator. You hurried inside, slamming the close button and sinking against the walls as you broke out into laughter.

“I can’t believe that just happened,” you said.

“Me neither,” Namjoon said breathing heavily, dimples showing full force.

He reached out and grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers. You let it happen, feeling warm and fuzzy when he touched you so simply. You both looked down at your hands, wondering why it just felt so good.

The door dinged as you made it to the first floor.

“So what now? We still have to finalize the project,” he said.

“The night is young, we could go to my place…”

“Oh really?” he asked lifting a brow and pulling you closer.

“Let me show you how thorough I can be.”

#that was my first time writing a smutty story omg #bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts smut #bts one shot #bts namjoon #namjoon #kim namjoon #bts angst #bts fluff #kpop fanfiction #kim seokjin

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ixvyupdates · 5 years

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Every Time I Think About Leaving the Classroom, My Students Remind Me Why I’m Here

Last week, teaching almost killed me. Again.

I was driving home from work, having stayed later than typical for a meeting and some organizing. The later drive meant hitting rush hour square in the face, meant a doubling of my drive home.

I dozed off driving home, staring at the family stickers of the car in front of me, wondering if I loved or hate them more for including their dogs, not-quite swerving this ton-heavy metal box with a meaty middle going death-probable speeds before I shook myself awake.

I drove the last 10 minutes or so fighting my eyes open, promising myself I would let them close as soon as I parked.

Teaching makes me so tired.

Teaching is tough on teachers. I know, everyone’s job is tough on everyone. I don’t necessarily believe that teaching is harder than the work anyone else does, but it is differently harder than a lot of them.

It’s hard on my friendships. You know those things at water parks? The big bucket type thing that slowly fills with water and then dumps it all out at once? That’s what my free time is like. I disappear for months at a time, and then scratch out time to connect, do all the catching up I can and say so super earnestly that it cannot be so long until the next time. During the summer I have a whole bunch of time, but suddenly almost no one is around.

There are friends who are only really friends when they need a letter of recommendation, or when they need to know about publishing or someone to come speak at their thing, or when they need someone to listen to the story about the racist at work and then tell them they are doing a good job not liking that person.

There is all the resistance this year, there are the nasty parent emails and student eyerolls, and the colleagues smack-talking me and my work over lunch or to the students in their classroom or to the parents they live near, who then send me nasty parent emails. More than my other 12 years combined, and it’s hard, especially when, really, I am just trying my hardest to do this hard thing well.

There are all of those things, plus the work all day of 150 kids who you love even when you don’t always like them, who need your patience and energy, who are consistently the reason for loving this job, even when it almost kills you.

One of Those Teachers

I recently traveled half across the country to meet one of those teachers. The woman I met teaches literacy in a district that long ignored it, has transformed her school’s approach by sharing her own successes and innovations. She is invited to regional and national gatherings, is lauded for her work, her passion, her leadership. I visited her to learn how she did all these things, how she remained successful and impactful in and out of her classroom so consistently, but now I won’t tell you who she is.

“I know in my heart that I am here to teach,” she told me over lunch on my first day with her, “but I also know I can’t do it anymore.”

I won’t tell you who she is because she doesn’t want you to know, doesn’t want to go on record as one of those teachers who became one of those other kind, the kind who quit, the kind who walk away. She’s pretty sure she’ll come back, pretty sure she’ll teach most of her life, so long as she stops for now.

She is tired.

She is tired of the heavy lifting. Of working in a school in a district that seems to not worry about her bad principal, even when they lose nearly half their teachers every year. She is tired from leading her department, a curriculum team, developing and teaching a new elective, doing her best to push her colleagues to undo some of their more damaging behaviors, and feeling, always, like she’s not doing enough quick enough for the kids in her room every day.

She’s tired, and my god do I get this, did years of this before now, of getting no support from administrators who are more than willing to claim victory for her successes. She’s sure that if she stays for one more year, she’ll be done teaching forever, so she’s leaving. Off to do other things where she can, off to take a breath so she can hopefully come back.

When We Walk Away

When we walk away, it is for so many reasons.

There’s not always a good way up, and not always much to do sliding over.

When we walk away, it is for so many reasons. If you’re not interested in administration, in consulting, or in multi-level-marketing scams, which seem to be the three most popular choices, then we often aren’t leaving to something, we are leaving from.

So, sure, there are days I think about what it would be like to wake up after sunrise, to write increasingly bizarre short stories that no one will read (my in-laws have this cabin up north with this one room fish-house thing that no one uses anymore that looks out over the lake that plays a large part in just about every post-teaching-writer fantasy I have). I think about long train rides and bathroom breaks, and maybe about having a job that people don’t shout about online all the time.

Some days I think about how our work seems harder, and not in a “kids these days” or “parents these days” sort of way, because I generally and genuinely love kids and parents these days. I think our work seems harder because our world has gotten harder. We’ve gotten nastier and increasingly polarized and awful things are happening so often it’s gotten normal. It’s not an easy time to teach.

Why We Stay

I’ve been less good at teaching lately. I’ve been too tired. I’ve been too cranky. The days that I am the worst at my job are the days I feel most like leaving. They are the days that I am too busy or too frustrated or too worn-all-the-fuck-the-way-down to reflect and remember why I’m inspired to do this work, to remember that every day I have 50 minutes with each group of kids that can be transformative, that can give them tools they will need to make this place better.

The world kinda sucks right now, and so the world needs us to keep teaching. The world needs teachers who are willing to teach their asses off, willing to teach and struggle and fight for schools that deserve our kids.

I know, somewhere deep in me, that when I leave the classroom it will almost surely be for something that is less important. I know I need to stick with it for as long as I can.

I know, even when I forget, that the things that make the work hard and important in a good way far outweigh the things that make it hard and exhausting in a bad way.

When we stay, we stay for those important reasons, and because it’s still a job that very often feels like a privilege, and very often feels like one of the best things you can spend your life doing.

We get to be there to tell someone on the exact right day that we know they can be better, on a different right day to tell them that they are already enough.

We get to be there on days when the world’s adults seem impossibly awful, young people doing hopeful and beautiful things.

We get to be there to get those other emails, the ones we tuck away for when we need to remember. Emails like the one I just got, just now, that says

“I have to thank you. I’m a white mom to a black son. That’s terrifying to me for lots of reasons. I didn’t know how to get him curious about his identity and struggled with how to approach him and the conversation—he’s a quiet guy at home. Can you believe that? I think through your class, he’s become more curious and proud of who he is. He asks questions, he brings it up independently, and even asks “was that guy just being racist?!” I laugh a little because we’ve sheltered him and protected him as long as we could. He recently asked to learn Amharic, he’s going to meet his birth family in Ethiopia. I know he’s nervous (I am!) but I have to credit his growing curiosity about himself to you and the other awesome teachers there.”

I was so tired before. So tired five minutes before. I’ve found my energy again, right where I left it, in the beauty and the power of this thing I get to do every day.

Photo by National Renewable Energy Lab, CC-licensed.

Every Time I Think About Leaving the Classroom, My Students Remind Me Why I’m Here syndicated from https://sapsnkraguide.wordpress.com

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misadventurousmaven-blog · 6 years

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Is there a Prince Charming in my near future or just a bunch of Jokers??

By Shane

Ok, let me start off by saying it's been 10 days since I started my dating profiles on two separate online dating sites. After perusing endless messages looking for something that peaks my interest or seeing from their posted pictures that they are very attractive (come on now, don't judge me) I've responded to about 10 different men. Of those 10 only 5 of them have really been able to carry a conversation well enough to keep my interest and give me the desire to learn more about them. I have not met any of them in person yet but I feel like it will happen in the next few days. So, I'm going to break down each guy to you and tell you my thoughts about his intentions and what my opinion of him is. Then I'll update after we meet to see if they have changed and in what ways. Also if my opinion of them have changed. So here we go.

1. Cody Cody is a 39 year old single man with no children. He works in retail and lives alone. He started out as my number 1 prospect because he seemed to say the right things that soothed my fear of being played or used. Phrases like "I wanna take things slow" or "I would like to be friends first so we can know each other and then hopefully be best friends in our relationship". He would text me all day everyday and then one hour after making plans to see me later that night he just stopped answering my texts. I was ghosted!! Never have heard from him again.

2- Shawn. Shawn is a 41 year old "single" man with adult children no longer living at home. I'm still not convinced that he's actually single because he uses the term "roommate" and pretty much stops texting as soon as he gets home from work. He works in Sales Marketing at an upscale hotel. I am very attracted to him. He'll send me pics of him at work in his suit and my God he is so sexy. He has also sent the occasional UDP (unsolicited dick pic) and he does not disappoint. We've talked on the phone several times and have good conversations but it's very clear that he is just looking for a FWB type of thing. Unfortunately I am not looking for that sort of thing so I've scaled back on the amount of texting that we do because I don't wanna put energy into something that I know is a dead end. However, I'm not quite ready to stop talking to him all together.

3. Brian. Brian is a 41 year old divorced man with 2 children in college and he lives alone. He owns his own roofing company and from all outward appearances seems to be doing well for himself. He is an alpha Male which I find very attractive. He is aggressive in his pursuit of me because he doesn't waste time playing games. He knows what he wants and goes after it. I am apparently what he wants. We have already had some conflict between us that resulted in a few cuss words being thrown out and it's always been about my lack of free time for him. He's very intense and there are so many red flags that should make me walk away. However, considering the type of man I've spent the last 4 years with, Brian's take charge-don't hold anything back-no holds barred approach is very appealing. My mind is telling me to stay away but I am so drawn to him.

4. Jim. Jim is a 37 year old divorced man with a 13 year old daughter. His ex wife has passed away so he had sole custody of his daughter. His daughter is actually the one urged him to start dating. "Dad, you need a lady in your life" is what she told him. He holds two degrees and is an IT tech. I am intimidated by him because he's very smart and unbelievably attractive. I find it hard to believe that someone like him is interested in someone like me. He assures me every day that he likes everything about me and is very interested in pursuing something with me. He has lived in this country for over 20 years and still has a slight accent. I'm also scared that our cultures are so different that it would pose problems if we were to start an actual relationship. I have a lot of fears and doubts about Jim because he just seems too good to be true. I think about him the most out of all the guys but words like catfished or scammed keep popping into my head. I hope he removes all doubts and truly is what he has portrayed himself to be but until then I'm proceeding with caution.

5. Bob. Bob is a 38 year old divorced man with a 7 year old son who he gets every other weekend. He is a plumber. He is HILARIOUS and the conversation is effortless with him. We talk on the phone several times throughout the day and text non stop. I find him attractive but he looks a lot like my daughter's father so it kinda takes me to a weird place in my head. He is very sweet and has already done several cute gestures to show me that he's very interested. I love being romanced but his attachment to me already makes me wonder if he's one of those guys who falls in (and out) of love quickly. I also wonder if there is going to be a spark once we meet. I feel like out of the guys listed, he and I would be the best suited but somewhere deep inside I feel like I may have already put him in the friend zone. I really hope I feel differently once we meet.

So there you have it. I often get into my own head too much and my judgment becomes cloudy so I would love to get any feedback or opinions. Who do you think sounds best suited for me? Who does it sound like my head, heart, and other womanly urges are pushing me towards?

Stay tuned for my next update! Wish me luck!

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theleftoverurl · 7 years

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So it’s like RIP I did no work AGAIN today and I am one day behind on anatomy but let’s just ignore all of that and celebrate what I did do today – even if it’s not much at all.

The not-sleeping-a-lot thing (rip because I’m doing it again) finally caught up with me and I passed out for a good 12 hours, only waking up to receive stressed messages from Kuheli who is organizing a swap to be at St. George’s with me next year.

I finally awoke at like 11am which was just after breakfast and then I just could not find the motivation to do anything so I lay on my phone until 1pm and then my group messaged about a quick group meeting before SG and I knew I had to shower/get my life together etc. before going so I took a shower and cleaned up so I wasn’t such a mess.

Then I meandered to Wallace Wurth, detouring to the post office to (finally) pick up my birthday card from my parents and my Goodness Me box. My brother’s hockey friends signed my birthday card which was a bit strange but cute and this Goodness Me box was probably equally as good as the previous one – lots of exciting things I want to use however don’t have the facilities at college rip. It was too big to bring to class though so I had to detour to my room and drop it off which made me late for group meeting.

Turns out our meeting was super low-key so Hei Wai and I got to test out Luke’s game for presentation that afternoon which was quite good – no dramas. Luke and I had a chat which was cool because he’s one of those cool guys to talk to. Maryaan left for lunch and Kuheli didn’t even show up again which is slightly annoying but really no big deal. Class was terrible because I didn’t understand anything Karim was saying because he’s sort of boring even though he’s really nice but doesn’t like inspire idk. Also the cases were really hard because I am bad enough at the brachial plexus and upper forearm without trying to apply it and it just made me feel terribly inadequate. Luke’s lesson went well – I don’t think there was enough explanation but the game was fun.

Then Kuheli and I got coffee (I tried a cinnamon coffee but it tasted pretty much exactly like a normal coffee) and I sat with her for 5min before rushing to tutoring. I found out Hayley is coming to study in Sydney!!! I’m so excited to have my cousin here for family and because she’s gonna be cool to hang out with. She’s in Hawkesbury though which is fucking far away and UWS sucks so yikes but like I’m not gonna tell her because I want her to start on the best foot. I was so excited I caught the wrong bus to the city instead of Little Bay.

When I finally got there it was good to see Ella again and I really enjoy tutoring her. She reminds me of a Penrhos kid because she’s so hard working and eager to please and just all round nice and she calls her teacher “miss” which I think is cute and so polite. Unfortunately it is clear she’s not a maths brain and she really struggles with the concepts behind things. I really want to change the way she thinks but that’s really hard to do. I want her to start thinking of problems properly instead of just following formulas cos that will make her life so much easier in the future. I feel as if I can do it but it will take time and I have to get her through her exam first. But she’s year 7 and has the time to learn. I just am a bit apprehensive about being in charge of her learning in that way because I feel like it makes such a big difference and I’ve only met her twice but I care so much idk why. Picking kids to drop next year is clearly going to be a huge difficulty for me ahhhhh. Hopefully it works out naturally.

Anyway then I legged it (bussed) to Dave Philips to see the end of the Baxter soccer finals. We won the girls and the boys finals yassssss. Spirits were high as we boarded the bus to Newmarket and my spirits were high because Kate and I split two pizzas (we had a whole pizza each just spaced apart) and we had a vodka cranberry and just generally chilled. It was good fun but Hamish looked upset the whole time and then just disappeared. He’s a shit drunk though so maybe it’s that, I’m not sure. Kate and I wanted to leave early and I didn’t want to drink too much because tomorrow I’m going clubbing and the day after is hockey preso night which should be litttt (and if not I plan to be lol). We had to Uber back by ourselves because no one wanted to come with and the Uber driver scammed me into giving him a five star rating by getting me to pull it up and rate him on the pretext of showing him something and then explaining that if you rate drivers it makes your rating climb and if you don’t your rating drops. I know this is bs because I have a 4.7 rating and I never rate my Uber drivers. Fucking cheat.

Kate and I watched the next episode of Bachelorette which was pretty much uneventful except Sam was finally kicked out (he talked way too much this episode it was so cringy) and Soph did this weird thing where she made the bottom two like verbally fight for her in a one-on-one interview type thing during the Rose Ceremony. It was a good twist cos it made me kinda emotional even though I hate Blake and Sam. It was clear by then that Kate was schweepy so I made my excuses and went to my room to chill/sleep.

Tomorrow is going to be hectic/scary because after tutoring I am going out with Kevin and his “law revue friend” and his friend better fucking come because Kevin has this crush on me and I am scared because I don’t want him to try anything and I need to get away from this situation so I think I’m gonna like let him know if I can (but will probably chicken out actually idk what will happen). I suppose you (and I) will find out soon enough.

#personal

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foam-and-forever-blog · 7 years

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Kars to Akhaltsikhe, Crossing the Turkey / Georgia Border

So here's an account of my cross-border trip from Kars in Eastern Turkey to Akhaltsikhe in Georgia. I writing this partly because while trying to research this border crossing myself, I could only find extremely scant information online all of which was several years out of date, but mainly because after a week of full-on travel and exploration I kinda just wanna sit on this here balcony, drink this here wine and enjoy this here view, and writing something allows me to feel a bunch less guilty for doing so when there's a seemingly beautiful town in a certainly beautiful valley just a few hundred meters below... It's fine, I've already wandered about for a couple hours in search of a cafe and come up short. Here's the good news: anyone reading this who is considering making the border crossing from Turkey to Georgia using the less travelled route described here will find the process reasonably simple and trouble free. From what I've read, the common method of moving overland between these two countries involves making use of the well serviced coastal border between Hopa, Turkey and Batumi, Geogia. If your heading in that direction or if you prefer your travel well air conditioned and comfortable, this is probably the best option for you. However if, like me, you're continuing on from the Eastern end of the Turkish rail network, taking the Hopa - Batumi route will add a several hour diversion to your journey which is largely unnecessary. I managed to make it from Kars to Akhaltsikhe within a single day with enough time to spare that had I wanted to continue straight on to Tbilisi then I'm confident I could have done so, probably arriving sometime between 8pm - 10pm.

If you're just here for the specifics of how I did the trip and couldn't give a toss about my sweet little story, no worries, here's the summary. Bare in mind that I did this in May 2017. This isn't a part of the world that sticks to a rigid schedule so times may vary significantly. My best advice is the obvious: get going early to give yourself the best chance of catching your connections. Also regarding prices below, you may well be able to negotiate better prices for the taxis, I couldn't be bothered as they seemed fairly reasonable to me, maybe a little expensive but not ridiculous.

My journey:

Minibus from Kars bus station, ( Kars Köy Otobüsleri Terminalı ) to Ardahan, departed approximately 9:30am, 15 lira

Arrived in Ardahan approximately 11.15amWalked to Ardahan bus station (on the otherside of town) google maps: Doğu Bereket Süt Ürünleri which is opposite

Minibus from Ardahan to Posof departed 12:30pm, 20 lira

Arrived Posof approximately 2pm

Taxi to Georgian border (approximately 15 minutes), taxis are easy to find in Posof, 40 lira

Cross border on foot.Unofficial taxi from border petrol station to Akhaltsikhe (approximately 25 minutes). 50 lari.- The Georgian border official offered to call me a taxi but I declined. Ask them to do so if you're unsure.

From Akhaltsikhe there are regular mini buses to Tbilisi.

I started the morning at my hotel in Kars which, from what I'd seen the night before, was the probably prettiest building in the city (read: the only pretty building in the city). My plan was to take a minibus a couple hours north to the town of Ardahan and then find a connection from there towards the border. Not know what time or how regularly the bus to Ardahan left, I set off early (early for me...) and walked to the bus station, getting there for 9am. Kars is a rough, neglected looking city. Like the many shanty towns I had passed the previous day but on a larger scale, it was mostly a disordered blend of dilapidated buildings, dirt and rubble strewn streets and mean-faced stray dogs which, unlike the cheerful strays in Istanbul, all looked hungry and fed up enough to have a go at making you their next meal should you wander within snapping distance. Personally, I pluck a certain enjoyable thrill from these environments, perhaps because they stand in stark contrast to my safe and sanitised home in leafy southern England. But those who like their cities aesthetic and charming will find Kars grossly lacking. Regardless, I managed to reach the bus station in good time and rabies free.

I found the ticket office and was pleased to hear that the next bus to Ardahan would be going in about 45 minutes (9.45am). As those with any backpacking experience will know, what would be an almost insufferably long wait for your morning bus to work, is generally a welcome relief when relying on ill-defined public transport in an unknown place. Having paid my 15 lira for the fare, I asked the man behind the desk for my 'bilet' (ticket). "No bilet..." he replied tapping a notepad list in front of him, "Name: Tourist!" I nodded my understanding and went outside to sit and smoke a cigarette at a table occupied by three dark and wizened old men drinking chai. A transit van pulled up 45 minutes later and as the passengers got off the driver hopped out and yelled "Ardahan. ARDAHANNN!!" I climbed aboard and once the bus was full, the ticket man leaned through the door and read list of Turkish and Kurdish names from his list, each one receiving a mumbled response from someone on board until finally, somewhat louder he called "TOURIST?", whilst pretending to look around the bus despite me sitting less than two feet away from his face. "Yes!" I said and he pointed at me; "ah! Tourist!" prompting a rumble of laughter among the other passengers. And so we set off, past the somehow even grittier city outskirts, onto a semi-finished highway and off into the hills. Road lanes are barely even acknowledged as a suggestion in this part of the world and our driver seemed to relish finding the racing line around each corner regardless of which side of the road that took us or how blind the corner he was attacking. The minibus was full on our departure from Kars but we stopped several times on the journey to pick up a small count of new passengers, who would shuffle, hunched over, further back into the aisle to accommodate each new addition, squeezing in until eventually there was an arse in my face, a leg in the arse in my face, and a dick in the leg in the arse in my face (not really but it felt that way.)

A little under 2 hours later we arrived in Ardahan. I got off, walked in a 50 meter circle around the junction we'd stopped at and promptly realised that I hadn't the faintest idea where to go next. I'd assumed we would stop at the town bus station and I'd simply ask for the next bus towards the border but instead we seem to have terminated at the first roundabout in town and there wasn't another bus, nor a ticket office in sight. I approached a shop at random and inside found empty shelves tended by a group of men who were doing a roaring trade in conversation if nothing else. "Salaam." I greeted, "Errr Autobus Posof?" (Posof being the last stop before the Georgian border) "Autobus Geogistan?" Immediately one smartly dressed fellow got up from his chair and without saying a word to his comrades, took me arm in arm and started leading me down the street. Now just to be clear, the two men walking arm in arm thing is a perfectly normal custom in Turkey and is a sign of friendship. It is not however a perfectly normal custom in England and being walked down an unfamiliar road in a strange town, romantically linked to a fast-footed stranger with barely a word of understanding with which to communicate was an experience that grew more concerning the longer we walked... As the minutes and meters passed I became more suspicious. This chap seemed to be taking me clear across town and I had no way of knowing if his intentions were decent. "Autobus?" I repeated as we turned onto each new road, pointing ahead, and each time he would simply nod, and reply something long winded in Turkish. I was not overly worried. At worst I thought he would try to take me somewhere to buy something, or perhaps to a friend who would over quote me for a lift. Thankfully I was a fair bit larger than him so figured I could break free anytime should I need to. As we came round another corner I saw that this new road led clear out of town, with fields and hills straight ahead. Is he planning to walk me to Georgia, I wondered for a moment; either way fuck this I thought. Just as I resolved to shrug off this dangerous scam artist and tell him to leave me alone we passed a building and he stopped. "Autobusi." He stated, pointing at a parking lot pack with minibuses. He joined me into the ticket office and explained to the guy where I wanted to go and then shook my hand and went to leave. I stopped him and tried offering him 10 lira for his help but he waved it away, patted my cheek paternally and set off on the kilometer or so walk back to his friends. "Posof bus one hour." Said the ticket man. Another cigarette, another 3 old men drinking chai and at half past midday: "Posof. POSOFFF!". The second minibus ride was much less arse-face, dick-leggy than the first and as a result I found myself reluctantly falling asleep despite the increasingly wonderful scenery. Bumpy roads woke me an hour or so later and I found that we were driving higher into the spectacular snow patched mountains. I stuck my face and GoPro to the window (the GoPro literally, my face not so) and was almost disappointed when we pulled into Posof at around 2pm, though my bladder was relieved that it would soon be relieved. Realising I was making good time, I strolled a little way down through the village and was soon met by a truly magnificent view out over the hills, forests and mountains. I relaxed for 30 minutes before starting my way back into the village only to spot a taxi pull up back where I had been sitting. I ran back over and asked how much to the Georgian border. "40 lira" the young driver quoted me. "Okay, one moment." I replied and proceeded to pull my GoPro and suction cup attachment from my bag. He looked at me confused as I began to attach the setup to the hood of his car. "50 lira and this goes here?" I asked. He gave me a thumbs up and bemused nod so I stuck on the camera and jumped in. We nipped up the road to the taxi rank and he told me to wait one minute as he got out. I watched through the window as he poked his head into the taxi office, turned around, climbed into another taxi and drove away. I sat patiently for a couple minutes before an old man strolled out of the office and got into the driving seat. He pointed at my camera on the front off his car, said something in Turkish (probably along the lines of 'dumb place to put your camera stupid Englishman'), burst out laughing and then we set off. We drove out of the village and straight past the turning sign posted for the border. He uttered something else in Turkish and made a circle motion with his finger. "Okay." I said, clueless as to exactly what was 'okay'. A little down the road we pulled into a school playground and a girl of about 10 years old was ushered by someone into the back seat. "Hello!" I said in my gentlest possible voice. She looked at me with wide eyes and I noticed the kind, simple smile of severe autism on her face. The driver didn't greet the girl but instead murmured something again to me and made a twisty motion with his hand against the side of his head. From there we drove back up the road and this time did take the turning towards the border. A short but beautiful drive followed with the driver slowing down every time I lifted my phone to take a picture. After around 15 minutes we pulled up to the border. I detached my GoPro from the car and showed the driver and the girl the time-lapse video I had recorded of our drive. Neither seemed quite as impressed as I might've hoped. I waved them off and walked up to the border with a deep sense of satisfaction at the sight of the large golden letters reading GEORGIA.

Crossing the border itself couldn't have been easier. A couple passport checks, a couples stamps and the expected look of mild suspicion on the face of the Georgian border guard as he compared thick haired and clean shaven passport picture me to bald headed and beardy 2017 me. Bags went through a x-ray scanner and the final guard gave me a leaflet with helpful tourist info, shook my hand and said "Welcome to Georgia." "Taxi?" I asked. "Petrol." He replied, pointing to a petrol station a few hundred yards up the road. I panted my way up the hill, wondering why there were approximately 100 trucks lined up waiting to enter Turkey but not one heading the other way. Reaching the petrol station I sat again to enjoy the view and take a couple snaps before heading over to a lively group of men sat outside the petrol station.

"Здравствуйте" I greeted them. "где Taxi, я хочу идти Akhaltsikhe". ("I want go Akhaltsikhe.") They all replied simultaneously and waited for my response. "Прости, я не понимаю". ("Sorry, I not understand.") Then one large man who had a smaller man sat on his lap, pushed the smaller man off and stood up, gesturing towards his car which was fully devoid of any taxi-like markings. "вы Taxi?" ("You Taxi?") I asked, to which the others laughed loudly and enthusiastically replied "Da, da, da" in unison. "How much?" I asked him in Russian. "50." He answered "...Euro." His face deadpan. I frowned my disapproval but before I could respond he laughed and said "Lari! Lari!" and waved me towards his car.

We set off, he handed me a cigarette and we began a broken conversation between my very limited Russian and his equally limited English. At one point he looked to me and asked simply "Vino?" ..."Vino?" I asked back. "Da! Ermm.. Vodka, Whiskey, Vino!" He unsuccessfully explain. I knew meant wine but wasn't at all sure what he meant by asking me "Wine?" "Da. Vino хорошо!" ("Yes. Wine good!") I said still unsure he this was going. He nodded approvingly, pulled out his phone and began speaking to someone in what I guess was a blend of Russian and Georgian. A few minutes later we slowed and pulled up into a driveway. A fed up looking women came out of the house and handed him a plastic litre bottle of red wine which he passed straight to me. "Err, Спасибо!" I thanked him. "вы дом?" ("You house?") I asked and he confirmed and to me that the wine was homemade. I opened the bottle and handed him another cigarette from my own pack and lit one myself. We passed the rest of the journey in relative silence, me sipping and complimenting his wine and him occasionally pointing at something or other and telling me about it in Russian that went in my one ear and out the other. After maybe a 20 minute total drive we pulled into Akhaltsikhe and he dropped me at a hotel of his choosing. I agreed the price with the owner lady and dropped my things in the exceptionally basic room. As the driver was about to pull away he called me over and began telling me something in Russian which I again totally failed to understand. Eventually he gestured for me to get back in the car which I did, not sure where we would be headed next. Another semi-conversation ensued and my best guess was that he was going to drive me up to the castle above town which we had passed earlier. Seeing as the castle was my main reason for stopping in Akhaltsikhe and since by this point it was still only a little after 4pm I figured I'd accept the lift and see the place today rather than the next day as I'd orginally planned. We drove back through town and he deposited me at the castle with a warm goodbye and brotherly handshake. It was a good castle. Thanks for reading everyone. Check back next week when I'll have more exciting content for you detailing my boring day job! (Not really).

#georgia #turkey #border #borders #tbilisi #travel #kars #akhaltsikhe #posof #vale #crossing #adventure #ardahan

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