#bc he rly fits most things i want in a partner and he's a good committed dude. so on this side of the logic spectrum I'm like 💞💞💞💞

[possibilistfanfiction]

What are your domestic headcanons for Bea and Ava in your surgeons AU? And how did Ava realise that they are not cis? And how/when did Beatrice realise she wanted top surgery?

these are great questions i will now come up with answers to bc they're mostly vague in my mind before the actual timeline starts! lmfao

a domestic thing -- ava is obviously, like, incredibly gifted at charming people anywhere, at any time, doing anything. i think bea is a little terrified at first when she starts bringing ava to stuff — trivia night, the climbing gym, even just over to mary + shannon's for dinner — that everyone will immediately love ava way more. or, even worse, that bea will suddenly be expected to be the same kind of charming, to love attention in the same way, to laugh as quickly. but it's not like that at all, obviously: everyone is Delighted by ava & also delighted by bea — quietly, in a way that's still comfortable & happy for her. at the climbing gym ava tried adaptive climbing, like, one time & was like 'no ty lol', but he still loves to come & watch. bea is... quite serious, but ava isn't, so in like ten minutes ava's made friends w all of the people bea enjoys climbing with. the next time bea comes to climb, no one expects anything differently from her, but they ask after ava, a few of the boys tease her for having such a cool, hot partner (fondly, & she loves it), they invite ava out with them for beers saturday. i think they open up each other's worlds in different ways but the crux of it is the same. love them! as @princington said 'they're so tangible' & like they rly are

another domestic thing -- bea can't cook. she's abysmal at it, even after cooking classes. she tries to cook for ava One Time & it truly is so inedible ava just kisses her & orders pizza. she can make eggs, barely, & that's about it. ava tells her they're the best eggs, though

last domestic thing -- they're a big slipper household. at first ava thought it was kinda cute that bea was partial to a nice pair of teva slippers (also, of course, had to tease her) but the second ava tries them he's like oh fuck yah, i get it. needless to say, as he justifies bc of his difficult circulation system but rly just for fun, he gets... a Lot of slippers lol. also bea steals all of ava’s beanies. it’s only fair

in the context of this au, i don't think ava's ever rly been sold on being cis lol. even as a little kid before the accident, ava was happy to just play & imagine & sing & dance. their mom never forced them to Be A Girl, & ava didn't mind, really, when they were in the orphanage, but it never felt like it truly fit. not in a dysphoric way, but just that it was limiting. ava's body was confusing, was hard to come to terms with in that it wasn't the same anymore, they couldn't feel all the things they used to love. so when they finally had the opportunity to like go Be Queer, be in community, her world Opened Up in the most beautiful way. ava LOVES the playfulness & expansion of gender & the body, the control she has over not having to fit in a box. the world is so, so big & so, so lovely, & u know ava also HATES colonized ideas of anything lol, so it just makes sense. in undergrad they had some good trans buddies but also like... drag? LOVE. so it's rly fun for ava, especially with good people

hmm i think bea probably wanted top surgery from day 1 of puberty on but didn't realize until late in college. after a lot of reassurance from her friends that she didn't have to be a Trans Man to want to try a binder, she did, & p much that first night she knew bc she just felt so much better, like her body made sense & she could just relax. idk if bea ever rly feels gender euphoria but she does feel a lot of peace & so that's cool. probably she tells cam first, maybe lilith & cam together, that she wants surgery. by that time they're already in med school & also... they both know lol & so they're rly happy for her & they make her lots of snacks & take care of her afterward. lilith keeps her out of the gym for months even tho bea complains that she's bored & will be so out of shape, cam makes a bunch of food frequently. they're a little family & it's a rly joyful, quiet, happy time; she feels very lucky

#surgeons au #butch bea 🥺🫡 #who knows! not me! making it up on the fly lol my favorite way to write fiction

[icharchivist]

me: i’ll probably make a summary of my thoughts every 10 or so chapters, whatever feels natural.

me 5 chapters into awakening moon: i need to write down my thoughts NOW or i’ll die.

uh. so. hello icha!! I’m on break rn which is why i’m able to do this haha. this is just about the first five chapters of awakening moon… um so actually i was stuck at a relatives place for a lot of new years and ended up? just reading the translation for all of act 1 that was on the wiki as well as alex in wonderland bc those were the two i didn’t rly take notes on? I think also the azuma and sakyo hot spring event i didn’t do notes for… but everything else i had some notes so i thought it’d be good if i could review act 1 a little in preparation. and gee golly am i GLAD I DID. bc 5 chapters in and im being proven sooooo right abt all my thoughts.

this’ll come in handy when talking abt other characters, but most relevantly I was rly able to pick out some hisoka moments i hadn’t noticed earlier… firstly when winter first finds hisoka, he actually doesn’t want them to call the police—I mean i’d get why but also i think he probably instinctively is wary of the police? which i have to think adds to his assassin points, which is my imaginary tip jar for pieces of evidence that point towards hisoka being an assassin. These pretty much also just go hand in hand with hisoka having any time of… nefarious sort of career pre-amnesia, so being a spy or involved in some type of espionage or something feels… appropriate. some assassins do spy stuff as well! but assassin is the guess thats most fun for me to say. lol. pretend it’s a catch-all. um next hisoka, when asked to play a character, asks for really specific details like age and background, and then izumi describes him as acting very… realistically? and later when they’re doing their play she notes that hisoka has gotten a bit more expressive in his acting! I think that sense of realism really works well with his role in sympathy for the angel—hes the most bluntly realistic about everything, it feels, so i’d imagine his more understated nature of acting fits well there… i’d also say that for someone who probably has no acting experience, doing espionage or something like that would train you in some specific kinds of acting! which is maybe why hisoka needs those extra details—it’s more like a cover story, then, and why his acting has that sense of realism—it’s acting that needs to exist in the real world, not the kind of acting that is Performance.

also tasuku asks if hisoka did martial arts, because his footsteps don’t make any sound… assassin points. I think there’s this part where izumi almost gets hit by something on stage or something like that and hisoka saves her? and tasuku says like are you a ninja? and homare mentions that hisoka moved so fast that he couldn’t see him… assassin points. I’ve mentioned the lie low and recover stamina thing already… as well as how when izumi approaches him from behind he pins her to the wall immediately. umm but i forgot that he specifically disappeared because he had a cold! so he didn’t want to… show any weakness, i guess, and just ran away. that felt very assassin to me. I’m basing this off of killua of course, since he also has a sort of “run away when you’re weakened” philosophy. and also!! when they’re talking about their type in romantic partners, hisoka wants someone who’s independent and not clingy. I imagine that has to do with like… as an assassin or as a spy i bet he traveled a lot… so he couldn’t really get attached to people, unlike how he is with the winter troupe. like at first he didn’t even want to get a futon bc he needed to be able to sleep anywhere. probably had to be used to roughing it for whatever assassin work he was doing. and finally… hisoka had memories related to the ocean, where he was like. he said he probably washed ashore from there? and chikage’s always been doing a lot of overseas business trips… i was making connections.

anyways. I bet that hisoka and chikage were both assassins or doing the same kind of work, and that chikage was april and hisoka was december (and chikage is maybe wearing hisokas jacket?? since it says dece right there) AND when he introduced himself!!! He said his bday was april 15th!!! so you can imagine the VINDICATION i felt when chikage confronted hisoka and went "What's the meaning of this, December?” LIKE I CALLED IT. I NOTICED THE DETAILS!!! Unrelated but google tells me hisokas bday is december 3rd? google could be wrong but i didn’t want to check further for fear of spoilers but ah. if that’s true I share a birthday with hisoka!!

wanted to get that out of the way non-chronologically… putting a pin in that, I’ll talk some more abt it later. anyways the actual chapters in the order they came. those thoughts.

getting fully voiced lines again!!! oh my god!!! I checked and i got through sardine search in june of 2021 so dear god, has it been a while. I feel like i notice so much!! the tone of the voices and everything… its so good i missed it. love being able to pick up random words here and there with my “acquired through knowing the translated title as well as the original of japanese songs” knowledge. and MIZUNO GOT TO SEE ROMEO AND JULIUS… and tsuzuru looks so happy to hear that!!! crazy. crazyyyy. Imagine never having read clockwork heart and reading that and being like “who’s that” instead of LOSING MY MIND.

it makes sense that they’d try to recruit a single person instead of doing an open audition, since that would be a little tough if at the end u were like. ok we’re taking One Person. sakyo was also like its nice since u can trust the person which is so funny to me. I mean good caution since the whole godza spy thing happened but also its like. I know you’re going to recruit chikage and im squinting at the screen like… is he someone you can trust? since i think he’s an assassin. also his face just makes me think of like… a sly tanuki, lol. but this also provides good context as to how all these act 2 members kind of already relate to the act 1 charas! its story convenience since u don’t have to establish a dynamic from wholecloth with a whole “first meeting” bit, but it’s also convenient in-story itself since having some familiarity with the person would probably make them easier to trust! a neat thing that works from a watsonian and doylist perspective lol. also whoever joined spring HAD to know itaru, since itaru would have to like. give up his solitary gamer pad (which imo is the more accurate term as compared to man cave)

masumi not answering his phone and saying he doesn’t know the number… considering it was? a secretary? That izumi called at first, I bet it’s his parents. I’m also like on my knees BEGGING for some more masumi developments this episode. (it’s… episode for each troupe season, right? and then chapter for each individual bit. that’s what i’m doing, at least). but oh my god i’m with tsuzuru here. masumi you should be answering sakuya’s calls. the masumi & sakuya dynamic is actually really interesting to me, though! like first off until we did this year forward (which, considering the anniversary event was just before this, seems like they’re retconning that the first 4 plays took one year and instead are going with that these first 12 plays took place in a year…? I think? I’m confused abt the timeline but I refuse to search it up lol) and this is how I realized sakuya’s actually a year older than masumi… it’s cool to see he went right into theatre! he does love it after all. but he still wakes up masumi who’s cranky in the morning haha. usually with these two and the play they did, I would’ve thought it’d be a dynamic of like… cheery guy and cool guy aren’t close at first but slowly the cool aloof guy gets attached but ah… it still feels like masumi didn’t really get that. attached. it’s a very interesting situation to me, because they definitely spend time together and care for each other but they don’t necessarily feel… close? it’ll be interesting to see if that develops. nocturnality’s description of the troupes is, once again, on point—spring troupe is really like a family more than just a group of friends. speaking of that though I’ve been talking to my friend about a3 and he asked me, like, autumn was described as comrades for the same cause, right? what is that cause? and I had to be like… um, acting? because I didn’t know how to say it any better haha. since it’s acting for everyone, too… I think there is a certain flair autumn has in the way it feels like they’re challenging each other a little bit—exemplified with juza and banri, but it’s present with others, too. still I wasn’t sure how to word it?

it’s nice that juza is w/ omi and tsuzuru and banri is with kazunari at uni!!! good they’re not in the same university because… that would be a lot. the moment citron mentioned chika-usa I was like. ah. chikage. like I literally even Just saw him in a bunny outfit… if I didn’t get it from the chika bit I’d get it from the usa bit now. it’ll be exciting to see that reveal since I think he and izumi can talk curry a lot! also he can help with blogging which is nice

then began chikage’s introduction of which I was mentally yelling in my head “HES TRICKING YOU. NO PERSON CAN BE THAT POLITE AND PATIENT AND PERFECTLY GENIAL AND MILD.” I’m just saying like he’s tooo normal to not be faking it. he’s literally itaru’s coworker and we know how that guy appeared versus his real self. so when he says like “I’m a huge fan” about the blog and I go “no. you’re just stalking hisoka.” but like his self-introduction is so normie and at least my personal evaluation of his audition was that he was realistic but not dramatic? A thing which matches quite well with how I think hisoka performs… though again izumi doesn’t really detail that far in about his style, this is just me evaluating him. but yeah wow I wonder why you’d be good at acting, chikage… ever done any espionage? his coin cg looked nice! but I’m just saying… quick with his hands doing magic tricks… hisoka can be so quick you can’t see him, too… also if ur fun party skill inherently involves deception and misdirection as magic tricks do… then I don’t have to trust this pleasant person mask you have. also the way chikage tells sakuya “you seem like you would be the first to go down in a battle” wow I bet you’ve been in some life or death battle situations. being an assassin and all. although, I love the way citron agrees.

izumi: (he's already won them over. I'm glad he's fitting in so well!)

me, banging pots and pans together: ITS AN ACT!!!! ITS AN ACT!!! like he just sounds sooo cloying. like hes being patient with children

and when hisoka appeared izumi saw chikages smile slip!! I thought it was fun to see homare nagging gently at hisoka to introduce himself tho lol… I wish they’d done the coin game. I think hisoka may have guessed correctly. but the way hisokas like well I don’t have anything to say abt myself except my name and homare is then immediately like *gasp* let me list all my hisoka facts!!

and THEN when chikage approached hisoka in the night. THE VOICE CHANGE. HE DROPPED LIKE AN OCTAVE I FUCKING KNEW HIS POLITE VOICE WAS HIDING SOMETHING. I realize amnesia’s hard to believe but god if ur an assassin or whatever in some mystery organization u should be able to believe in amnesia.

this line though: "...All this time I thought you had died together with August." but hisoka doesn't even remember what he said when he was sick! I do remember him apologizing, though… he’s got survivor’s guilt for sure i bet. I was very alarmed by how hisokas yknow. normally gentle and soft voice got very distressed at this part tho! especially when he said his head hurts… I wanted to hug him.

"...Then remember this. My name is April, and I'm here to avenge everything you took away from me." hmph. called it. but also. inigo montoya much? and those flowers WERE threats.

ch 4 starting out with the title reading "yume nikki" gave me immediate flashbacks like. I know it just means dream diary but I will always just think of the game only. hisoka’s flashback though… it was so well written. the emphasis on coldness really got me—it makes sense that at the beginning, he’d even sleep outside in the cold! but wow. he grew up like. starving and without a home. "my hands, my face, my body... everything's cold." and "they weren't like me. they must have had real homes." i am weeping. I am inconsolable.

veryyyyy cool to get hisoka stuff in spring, though. i'd hoped, but wasn't sure since it was the spring play and not the winter one. perhaps that'll all reverse with winter since guy will join then and citron can get hi emo time then? the ch doesn’t say who those two kids who talk to hisoka are, but i’m guessing they’re august and april (with the kid that keeps insulting hisoka being april)... we’ll see about that. and they’re inviting hisoka to join the Organization. Hmmm. okay. while i’d love to point and say “and HERE’s the assassin club!” it’s probably a bit more realistic that these people are… multi-talented in their dealings. organization to me implies more than just like assassin-for-hire but like. actual plans so they r um. maybe. …a. what’s the mundane version of a big evil organization? a terrorist agency…? a shady intelligence guild? it doesn’t rly sound like a yakuza/mafia deal. well anyways that’s what i maybe think hisoka is a part of. that’s 100% the kind of group that would take in kids off of the street. probably some of them do assassinations in em.

the "if you stay here like this, you'll die." / "nowhere else... to go." exchange made me lose my mind. Whenever there is ever a piece of media where some character goes like “if you keep being this way, you’ll ruin your life” but that way of life is the ONLY way that person knows how to live, even if its ruining them… that gets me. and then the "how many times have I thought I might die, yet ended up living? living on, all alone." line from hisoka… like this is before august died but i imagine in the period after august died and he hadn’t joined mankai yet… that was true again, wasn’t it. AND THEN THE GINGERBREAD. THAT’S WHY HE FROZE UP DURING THE CHRISTMAS PLAY!!! BECAUSE THAT WAS THE FIRST FOOD HE WAS OFFERED BY THESE TWO… it is funny that they reeled him in with a snack here… it’s the same in the future, only it’s just marshmallows. still, for a kid surviving out on the streets... sweets are probably like a precious delicacy, huh… since they’re not particularly filling. they’re just nice. a step above plain survival. and then hisoka’s told that they’re family now… thinking about how he says that winter troupe is the place he belongs, later.

back to the present i love how when yuzo comes in citron so pleasantly says"oh, yuzo! have you lost your day job?" pfft. makes sense that chikages articulate. hes probably practiced his voice a lot since this one is miles away from his threatening voice, ahah. Also love how hes like “ive dabbled in kabuki!” and no one can tell if he’s telling the truth or not. like i said. he’s suspicious. yuzo agrees with me seeing as hes like chikage’s too calm around everyone. I thought the interview was funny! like tsuzuru, you’ve managed to somehow precog everyone’s character arcs and personalities well enough, but this time you need to interview the guy? yet you parallels a weird amount of tsumugi and tasukus life with sympathy for the angel without knowing shit about them? yet you absolutely hit upon azuma’s own baggage with nocturnality? Considering chikage seems to joke/lie about a lot of things, it is fair… he’s a pretty mysterious character. Has to be since he’s hiding the fact that he’s an assassin and stuff. I muttered to myself for soooo long about the curry thing though i was like what the fuck is an ultimate curry. curry isn’t even one thing in india. at least in the part of india where i’m from, even our stir fries get called curry (by my family at least!) but then chikage was like. oh its fun to mess with u guys so. okay. hisoka seeing chikage and spring and immediately running off tho… i bet that entire exchange hit him hard especially bc chikage was just like. kind of mean and not helpful lol. excited to see how that goes. i hope winter gets to take care of him since he’s Going Through It right now… i still think whoever is ringing masumi must be his parents. its nice that chikage and izumi get to bond over curry! it'll be interesting when the blog thing gets revealed. itaru seemed weird after he had to explain what a stan was to masumi which is like… i wonder what thats abt. he did mention a little that he had a bad time of it in high school during alice in wonderland so i wonder if thatll ever come up. or mb hes just worried abt chikage seeing his gamer pad. who knows. uh. well. that’s my thoughts on the. first five chapters. I don’t think i’m going to be able to Stop reading this so. I hope ur okay receiving something like this every day-ish.

HI THERE! HELLO THERE! WELCOME TO ACT 2!!!!!!!! I see awakening moon is already having its power on you, so cool.

Chikage time!!!

And ohh that's so cool you get back to previous events. Makes some elements clearer in mind, esp with Hisoka mister subtle exposition backstory over here.

Congratz on noticing all those little details about him on the reread :3c those things still leave me obsessing. Esp the way his acting is described like, that's such an unnatural approach to acting you can't help but raise an eyebrow.

And god yeah. yeah. Hisoka is so weird in the early chapters when you pay extra attention to him it's so much. Another thing from the backstages that might interest you is in Tasuku's New Year's SR (SR - [Careful of Holiday Traffic] - "The Gunslinging Cleaner") where they're all cleaning the dorms, and Winter is doing the bathroom, and Tsumugi and Tasuku end up playing up with the spray bottles to have a pretend fight based on an old play of theirs and it has Tasuku, realistically, get back into his role like he does so well. And Hisoka catches on to that and when Tsumu leaves, he thinks, hey, that was funny, actually funnier that what we're doing, and he takes up two spray bottles as well to play a dual gunner and start to wrap Tasuku into it again. Anyway during this whole bit there's a mention of how Hisoka's way to move feels very natural as he's playing someone who's /using two guns to fight/. Bringing it up so you can add it to your assassin jar.

ANYWAY. CHIKAGE. APRIL. HHHHHHHHHH. You were pointing it out so much in your asks and i was just. pointing while doing uncomprehensible noises, and had to try my best to just go "cool theory! not saying anything tho!" like i wasn't losing my mind because "YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT!!!!" (on the April front at least, i'm not confirming anything else LMAO). Chikage's build up was done so well i'm SO glad you caught on the details hhh!! And yeah Hisoka is indeed from Dec. 3rd and omg!!!! twin bday…. I share my bday with his seiyuu personally so we're really onto something here.

The full voice really is so cool!!! And yeah i feel you so much, there's so much characterization in the voice work, the random words we know from song, and even realizing how much they improved since the early day. Always a chill up my spine.

AND YEAH. YEAH THE MIZUNO NAMEDROP. OH MY GOD. holding your hands. See this is why i insisted so hard on you reading all the events, and i'm so glad that you did it. I've had friends who skipped the events because they wanted act 2 so quickly and i was just. no. you don't realize Chikage has been built up, you don't know about Mizuno you dONT- like they legit mentioned then "idk who mizuno is" and i'm just GNHHH. Mizuno!!!

Yeah the audition thing makes sense. esp since now they're popular so it's harder to filter who really would want to make a good actor. not that it means they're actually recruiting a trustworthy bunch bUT. Chikage's face like a sly tanuki so true bestie. His face is up to no good and i love that about him. But yes agreed it works very good on both a wastonian and doylist perspective it's really neat. And YEAH Itaru stamp of approval (to share his gamer pad).

oh god the Masumi's plot. man. (and for the names we improvise as we go, it works out that way). but YEAH Massu you should answer at leAST Sakuay's call gdi!!

ok so for the timeline it's a little weird. In the VN, Sakyo gives them like, a year to revive Mankai first and then one play a month, but it doesn't work with what act 2 says that it's been one year only. In the anime they actually retcon it for real by having Sakyo giving Izumi only one month per troupe, so, it actually fits what the timeline is saying by act 2: that all of act 1's main story and the events all happened in the span of a year. And it makes sense bc at One Play A Month, 3 plays for all 4 troupes gives 12 plays, which makes a lot more sense in general. So Sakyo's original ultimatum has been completely retconned everywhere else at this point.

BUT YEAH SAME i didn't realize Sakuya was older than Masumi until act 2 where the age gap really is pointed out, with Saku leaving High School while Massu is still in. That does explain why Sakuya felt so much "big brotherly" to Masumi too. I do love how he still takes care of Masumi, Sakuya is like. It took me so long for him to even start allowing me around, now i'm his friend nonstop no take back. I think Masumi is "more attached" but it comes from the place of how abyssal his attachement was to start with. Like, Masumi was clearly keeping everyone away before (he didn't even call Sakuya by his name before, that's why Sakuya is overjoyed the day Masumi actually calls him Sakuya) and he's sloooowly letting his guard down but it's not. radical just yet. But yes it does also play on their Nocturnality description of, as a family it doesn't have to be tight and close bond for the love to be unconditional in a way?

And omg about the description and friend. And yeah, so, i think the Japanese term for them is specifically "Nakama" (compared to Spring's "kazoku" (family) and Summer "tomodachi" (friends)). And Nakama is really like. a group of friends or coworkers you're close in with the idea of you're sharing the same goals and ideals. Like, Nakama is used a lot in anime, it can still be close friendship but it's usually in the context of, there's a background that put us together yaknow? and i think "comrades for the same cause" is the best way to translate the idea but as a result this might sound a little clunkier lmao. I think it's, yeah, the goal is acting, but the means to do it is the competition they have against each other to help each other out too. And they come from the same background of intense regrets and moving past that. Brothers in arms if you will. But yeah it's tricky how to word it, it feels natural to describe them that way, like, when Azuma says that it makes sense, but it's a little tricker than that and it's hard to explain without the full picture.

AND YEAH it's nice for the uni repartition. At least the bloodshed isn't spread there LMAO. AND HELPP. Chikage, assigned bunny immediately on first read. The curry alliance would be too strong if Izumi gets an ally. To follow.

CHIIIKAGEEEEE. "he's sooo normal he's totally faking it" is so funny, it's so true. Tbh i do feel like it's the thematic of Spring Adults like. Putting on a front so people Don't Ask Questions about you. Chikage just saw the patern and went :) sup :) god it's really so funny to me Chikage pretended he really liked the troupe only because he had tunel vision on Hisoka it's so much. his Coin CG looks sooooo good. and eheheh :) and YEAH CHIKAGE'S COMMENT ABOUT SAKUYA I FORGOT. No chill. BUT YEAH CITRON. THIS IS SO FUNNY. The chaos of Chikage saying batshit insane thing and Citron just nods in the back YOUR REACTION LMAO. the moment we all go "NOOO IZUMI YOU'RE SEEING IT WRONG"

oh boy so now. the Hisoka scene. God i was thinking about this scene so much the other day it still drives me insane. Maybe Hisoka would have guessed correctly yeah. And YEAH HOMARE JUST LIKE. "leave it to me, i know so much about you" is so soft. I wonder how Chikage might have felt like, man. This person really knows Hisoka uncomfortably well wtf. but yeah i love Hisoka's "ex-feral homecat behavior" who mellowed to everyone but will be warry of newcomers regardless and will just go into silence for it. all while Chikage is just. :))).

BUT YEAH CHIKAGE APPROACHING HIM. GOD THIS SCENE. I think that like, logically amnesia is easy to believe but emotionally, it must be very hard. Like, Chikage thought Hisoka was dead and facing that he's still alive while August isn't must have been a shock. Plus, personally i can't stop thinking about the fact that Chikage learnt he was alive from hearing about Mankai, Itaru probably passed fliers to Sympathy for the Angel in the office and Chikage probably just. fucking froze thinking he was seeing a ghost and was stalking them ever since. And then you think about Hisoka's roles in the plays and think about how Chikage might have interpreted them. Like, Hisoka's first role was one of an angel that was categoric about letting the person Tsumu's character loved die. He was all about keeping the balance on how if someone has to die, they have to die. The second play has Hisoka investigate a murder while being emotionally distant to it, and the third play has Hisoka play an immortal who, by definition, is surviving other people. and i think it's fair that, in grief, Chikage saw all of those as, oh, he's using his experience to mock what happened. I have more to say esp about MMMBM's play and the way Chikage might have reacted to it but. we'll come back to that later. But what i mean is that i think that, emotionally it was hard to process, Hisoka himself looked like he was handling himself fine, and hell, Hisoka loves his troupe and i think eventually it might have felt like it for Chikage too whichh could def feel like there's nothing wrong with Hisoka and he is really just, moving on.

BUT YEAH it's still. OOF. so mean esp since Hisoka JUST DOESNT KNOOWWW and he has been scared for so long about his past and Chikage basically came back and told him "you have good reasons to be scared of your past and now you'll suffer for it" is just. God. So fucked up. Chikage master at mishandling his grief.

Hisoka did talk about August and apologized when he was sick, clearly, survivor's guilt yes. god Hisoka is usually so distached from everything and nothing really affects him PERSONALLY, at best he worries for others people but everything else he manages to deal with on his own, but god. when Chikage starts to confront him he's so distressed and i feel so bad for him i want to hug him so bad.

me: loving liar characters and digging Chikage's deal from the start VS "if you're mean to Hisoka you will meet my sword" moment for the whole first chapter, so many emotions.

but YOU'RE SO RIGHT about the Inigo Montoya feels to that. And yeah, the flowers were def threats though, once you're done with Awakening Moon i'll share the meaning of them because it still drives me bonkers.

LMAO for yume nikki, the way things change our perspectives i swear. Hisoka's flashback god. it was so much. Sweet boy. Sweetheart. It's just. gnhhh. Everything about this part is so emotional and it's terrifying.

And yeah eheheh. Actually, if you get to see it, the chapter's icon for each of the troupe, in act 1 are colored fully with the troupe's collors: first spring is pink, first summer is yellow ect…. but, once you enter act 2 it's amazing how it's like. spring is pink with some blue. summer is yellow with some autumn. ect…. it's like, even graphicwise they tell you, the other troupe linked too closely to this rookie cannot be footnotes, they're also part of the main plot. and yeah that def sets up as Guy being also a Citron plot doesn't it :3c ehehe.

And yeah the kids. those kids. goodness. yeah. For the organisation i won' talk too much about it but yeah it's def not mafia/yakuza, to me it sounds also sounds like something international (see why Hisoka talks a perfect english) but, yeah. def sounds like a shady organization for sure who's exploiting children who have nowhere else to go. Which makes it pretty grim for Hisoka, but also for the implications for August and April since they were there even before Hisoka. Weep.

and guuhhh that exchange is just. god. holds hisoka in my arms. Hisoka's past being unveiled is so tragic like, you get why he forgot everything, it's ust so fucking miserable. Just suffering and surviving, all alone. AND THE GINGERBREAD YES. YES!!!! also how in the whole Christmas event, it was snowing outside and Hisoka kept zoning out looking at it. Just before the play, he was late backstage because he was completely captivated by the snow outside, and THEN Gingerbread on stage. I think the combo of the two triggered memories in Hisoka without him really registering it yet. It was a cold snowy night and he was offered gingerbread, and this was enough to connect the two. BUT YEAH it's funny they reeled him with a snack, it's really just. Wild kitty approach. And yeah Hisoka didn't change a bit, snacks are the way to his heart. But yes, exactly like you say. The fact it's because those sugarly snacks are delicacy, something he probably couldn't eat before when it was all for survival, so, he probably has those as comfort food on the literal sense of the term of how, it's the one thing that brought him salvation out of the street, it's the one thing that tastes like a home, so Hisoka indulges in sweet and sugar as much as he can. not just survival anymore. idk to me it recontextuatlize his marshmallow quirk from "manchild" to "this is literally the only thing he knows to consider as comfort". Esp considering early in Mankai he was refusing comforts like, a futon because he must be ready to sleep anywhere. It fits with the idea that he used to be homeless and probably had to get used to not be picky about where he fet to sleep. Marshmallows was the one thing he was always selfish about and now he's actually working on his comfort, but yeah, that really puts a lot in perspective on that regards. And yeah. a family…. they were a family. Whatever happened to August made Hisoka lose this family and now he has a new one though…

AND HELPP. I love Citron, he's so funny. god i love your reasoning on why Chikage is so good at everything. "of course this two faced bastard would know that". I LOVE how you can not trust anything that comes out of his mouth. Silly little liar man. Yuzo is so perspective, thank you my dude. And YEAH GOD THE INTERVIEW. So funny. Tsuzuru: can psychanalyse everyone in the company / Tsuzuru: oh no this guy lies so much i can't figure out what to do D:. AND HHELPPPPP being from the country that allows you to see through Chikage's bullshit, this is brilliant. He's really just out there, lying for fun.

And yeah man :( poor Hisoka i feel so much for him i want to hug him so bad. Chikage could have. like. actually communicated smh. but nooo. In Winter we trust.

Looking forward how hte Masumi's plot evolve and yeah it's nice Izumi finally has a curry ally. Might be sus as hell but he's also a curryhead so all crimes are forgiven. Oh Itaru. I guess it's also just that, Itaru learned to be himself with the Spring Troupe but now one of his coworker is there and it's a thin line on walking to like, reveal a side of himself he only revealed to those kids to one of the people he was the most likely to hide it from yaknow? Like suddenly feeling exposed and all. And i think that, like. The rest of the Spring Troupe knowing about his true self is fine as it is, even if Itaru didn't trust them, it's like. Who are they going to tell it to. But with Chikage, Itaru has to test first how much he can trust him and maybe be worried Chikage would talk about it at work. Might explain Itaru's uneasiness.

BUT ANYWAY. FIRST FIVE CHAPTERS. IT WAS A BLAST TO READ.

I'm totally okay receiving this everyday-ish, as u know, i'm a huge fan of reading your thoughts and of this specific chapter as it is, so i'll be thrilled. Can't wait to see more of your thoughts :3c

Take care eheheh

#ACT 2 TIME BABYYYYY #ichareply #aranarumei #ichafantalks a3 #long post for ts

[vampireskull]

why am i friends with one of the best guys I've ever met who checks all my boxes and requirements for a partner, i know he likes my personality and looks, but he has a gf of several years. i hate that for me

#lmao I'm not a homewrecker I'm not trying to make a move on him before anyone comes for me again #but why did i decide that the first guy i actually like and know rly well had to be the one who is about to be engaged lmao heart been broke #so many timesss #i know at this point it's infatuation and i guess it's more of a logical crush #bc he rly fits most things i want in a partner and he's a good committed dude. so on this side of the logic spectrum I'm like 💞💞💞💞 #buuut on the other hand. well. he's obviously not available. and my dumbass decided to crush on him when he was available for a time. bc i #didn't even dare to entertain the thought before. #but what i mean with logical is like. there are no butterflies. I don't even really feel the urge to kiss him or something idk I'm just not #nervous around him. but ig that's bc we've known each other so long. #but tbh i think we wouldn't rly work out. I don't know if it is bc I can't imagine myself in a relationship rn or bc I can't imagine myself #in one with him. but it would just be an awkward deal. i don't wanna be constantly compared to his gf he has now #and honestly i think once i have my own relationship this shit is gonna blow over quickly #bc maybe I'm just projecting my romantic desires onto him #hmmmm #but where tf am i supposed to meet a good guy :( #⚰️

[zainclaw]

hey so as a fellow ace let's talk some more about ace/demi headcanon's for whoever of the 911 squad you desire (i've seen a few demi eddie posts i think so yeah but honestly just. go ham)

Anon, I absolutely adore you for this ❤️

Yeah, Eddie is definitely the one character from 911 I love seeing as ace/demi the most! But I actually read an ace!Buck fic that completely broke my heart, bc it was quite dark, considering how much sex canon Buck has had in his life, but it was done so beautifully.

I think the most damaging conception people seem to have about asexuality is the “but you’ve had sex!” reasoning that always comes up. Yes, some asexual people have sex, just like some gay men have sex with women. They can do it, can be just fine doing it, may even enjoy some parts of it (the intimacy, bringing pleasure to your partner, whatever), but that doesn’t mean they don’t in fact belong to another sexuality.

That being said - and thereby agreeing that literally any character on this show could be interpreted as ace - I rly love this for Eddie’s character. Perhaps I like him as demisexual a tiny bit more than ace, but honestly, love both those takes. 

Him being aro/ace makes sense to me in the sense that he seems to just do what he’s meant or expected to do, when it comes to women. He married Shannon and had a son with her, but it’s clear they weren’t happy and always struggled. And it seems like he hasn’t been with anyone else during the two years she was gone, and the “they weren’t my type” explanation he gives to Buck has, in my eyes, always been such a neat reference to his sexuality. And then she came back, and they fell back into having sex because that’s what he’s supposed to do with his wife, the mother of his child, and tries so hard to just patch his family back together, for Christopher. And, I haven’t actually finished watching S4 yet, but I’ve seen the gifs and I know there’s strong hints to him only beginning a relationship - the first in years, after Shannon - with his son’s English teacher, mainly because he thinks she would make a good mom.

Again, he just really gives me the vibe of doing what he’s expected to do, to fit in, when it comes to relationships. And this is something I can relate to so much. I spent years trying to date people, trying to feel something or get any romantic or sexual feelings at all, but it never happened. I got really good at faking it, almost managing to convince myself for a while that I was “normal”.

I can see Eddie being the same, so so easily.

And I think him being demisexual makes sense for the same reasons, only with the difference that he did feel sexual attraction towards Shannon, because he knew her so well, was actually in love with her, and so she was the one person he wanted to have sex with. The “they weren’t my type” line still makes perfect sense. And so, when she briefly came back into his life, of course he still felt that connection with her. But there was no one else but her for so long.

And, obviously, since I’m a Buddie shipper... it would just make perfect sense for demi!Eddie to fall in love with Buck. Someone he knows so intimately, someone who loves his son, and is always there for both of them. Eddie would slowly notice Buck more and more, until one day he finds himself thinking Buck is hot for the first time, and realize he wants to kiss him and hold his hand and feel him against him, and it’ll be a very special and overwhelming thing to him. A million beautiful women they meet on the job could flirt with him, but he’d feel nothing. And what he feels for Buck is a storm, so wild and scary in its intensity. Because he hasn’t felt this feeling since before Christopher was even born.

I feel very happy now, thinking about this.

Thank you so so much for sending me this ❤️ and happy Pride Month!

#buddie #eddie diaz #911 #asexuality #demisexuality #demi!eddie

[redcloak]

when you have two brainrots going at the same time............

putting a bunch of au thoughts under the read more as i just frickign rambled at partner dfksjghsfkdg LOTS of spoilers for both all of the great ace attorney and miraculous ladybug

i cannot get over how well sherlock fits as cat noir its Bonkers

hawkmoth stronghart of course! but akumatizations would be a lot more subtle, and last for a very long time because for the most part theyd be undetected until further inspection. THINKING ABOUT KLIMT GOING OVER THE EDGE BECAUSE HE WAS AKUMATIZED ALONG WITH HIS DOG....

ryu and sherlock would know When someone is akumatized but not who, so theyd have to investigate together using their respective powers over several investigations... because theyre adults they dont need to keep recharging but because everything is a lot more subtle it would still take them a while to figure stuff out

still thinking about chemist sherlock and thats what he does in the daytime, as part of the forensics team! and he tends to act timid and quiet and observant and very unmemorable even if he does terrific work, and ryu would be crushing on him over that?? and then he takes on more of the Great Detective persona when he is cat noir and gets to put all the info he collects in his daily life to good use while being silly and insufferable as we know him, but ryu as ladybug would slowly warm up to it also, as he does in canon

ryu fits well into the second gen immigrant thing marinette has going on, and idk if id want him to be a lawyer AND get a ton of evidence from being ladybug, or being a penniless writer who also works at his parents bakery and sherlock is a regular there and thats how he started crushing on him, BUT when hes ladybug he gets a taste of the lawyer spirit of investigating and maybe even protecting people who are wrongfully under suspicion of akumatization

so sherlock still rly likes ryu AS ryu bc wow cute baked goods provider, will sit with me when its not busy and they chat up a lot and ryu is just fucking smitten

but then when theyre transformed their dynamic is very similar to canon for both media with the scale tipping the other way but obviously theyre still both very fond of each other especially as time passes

thinking about sherlock having the cat miraculous for a looong time without ever having a ladybug, so even if he did a great job by himself and deakumatized people, without the ladybug powers they always come back after a while.... thinking about the first time he meets ryu as ladybug and omg! at last the balance is here and theres someone to finish and wrap up and close all the things he sets up

UGH OK THEN, baker street!!!! the ground floor of 221b IS a closed down bakery that used to belong to ryus family, and now that hes moved away from them, he reopens it to sustain himself while writing his poetries and stuff on the job, and iris and sherlock come by all the time, maybe iris even manages to sell her teas through there... which would let him take the vacant flat in the attic, and maybe he finds the ladybug miraculous there somehow, hidden behind a wall board or smth

#love indulging in aus that are soooo niche #ryuulock #ryulock #homuryuu #herryu #dgs #the great ace attorney #miraculous ladybug #mlbcn #miraculous au #ryunosuke naruhodo #dgs sherlock holmes #herlock sholmes

[heleizition]

This one is probably rlly random and you dont have to answer, but if you made like, your own Robin oc (like an OC who was/is Robin) what would they be like?

OK LISTEN i dont like making characters inside a universe that already exists but i can make AUs for my ocs who already exist !!!!!!!! so pls meet (part of) my oc’s batfam/dc au i guess!!!!

let’s start with big bat noah !!!! the Mom, batman bc fuck gender norms and batwoman is a mouthful, and also most people didn’t notice she was a woman for months..... like bruce she’s the heiress of a big company that made her a billionaire after her parents died, im not rly clear on her background so like, let’s just roll with the usual turned into a furry to deal with her trauma. she is known to be a Wild Animal, parties a lot, does a lot of extreme adrenaline sports, not really a airhead but mostly never outgrew the rich kid thing . . ... OR DID SHE ?

shes a big lesbian and i actually never designed her partner in her original universe but u can assume that they’re the super of this world maybe,,,, and that they have huge unresolved sexual tension,,, u know,,, the usual

next u got the two big birds..... abel was the first robin, adopted by noah after she rescued him as batman. im not exactly sure what to do with his original background in the dc au but his family was deep in crime stuff, and she threw him out of danger and he just stuck with her. had probably some assassin training going on, not to the level of damian but still there. a flexible boy !!!!! pretty enthusiast and cheerful bc if he stops he’ll just break down and cry bc he hates himself !!!!!!!!!! man the boy has trauma!!!!!!!!!! when noah takes him in he just itches to do stuff, he’s seen a lot, he wants to help her, and at first she doesn’t want to but he keeps sneaking out and figuring our where she’ll be to help... stubborn boy.

cody is a metahuman, was part of experiments and one of the only successful ones, and the last one, since she burnt the laboratory down to ashes when she broke free !!!!! shes a rogue i guess ?? her powers involve white fire and also flight, she’s been killing and hurting mostly people involved with child trafficking as she was a victim of it, and ends up on the bats’s radar a lot bc she’s dangerous. she was 14 (and abel 13) when she broke free, and she’s been in and out arkham at some point too, and the older they grew the more these two flirted, and they’ve sat and talked abt each other a lot and they’re ennemies to lovers but also the lovers part is on and off bc they’re scared of commitment and what it’d mean between abel being a bat and cody being. an ennemy, most of the time. noah actually doesnt mind as long as she doesnt hurt her son (her kids in general) and she has seen cody fighting to protect the people of this family before so. she approves. abel is just a coward. i love them so fucking much man

THEN u got nell !!!!!!!!!! he’s the main of my oc’s story and he ANGY and EMO and listens to skillet while crying in the dark. he rly rly fits the red hood/jason’s story in general tbh... it makes me emo... anyway he’s lived in the shit part of town for all of his childhood, he was abused by his dad after his mom died, and he had to protect his lil sis and eventually he killed his dad, except his lil sister, belly, came home just to see it and he panicked and left. he’s been living on the streets since then and has gone through rly shitty stuff to survive and he’s seen belly living with who used to be their neighbor whos a really kind woman so he jst, doesnt worry, drops some money on her window sometimes but never interracts w her bc he’s scared and an idiot,,, anyway noah finds him in a stupid way similar to jason’s and he’s angy and dont trust anything or anyone or the soft bed waiting for him at the manor and no one asking for anything in return and slowly opens up,, abel is rly good with him and noah is patient and kind and doesnt want him to be robin at first, she just wants him to be her son, but he wants to be useful and he thrives on fighting and the justice, he needs it, needs justice, and noah lets him join her, and they’re so good, so so good, but then he dies. he dies and they’re devasted and thats when noah says it, no more kids out there, not on her watch, and he dies and its so sad

(but he doesn’t stay dead, and it adds to his many many issues, and he comes back, and he’s even more angry than he was before, and he knows noah has adopted another kid, and he hasn’t even looked to see if robin was out there, he’s just angry and feels replaced and he’s not even sure where this anger came from because it feels misplaced and foreign but he just gives in, and when he’s finally face to face with noah he fights and she shields herself and ends up pinning him on the floor and hugging him and crying bc she’s so happy he’s alive, and they just cry and nell realises his anger is so confusing and not his)

he does become an equivalent to the red hood, wants to toe this grey line of giving justice to those who always escape it, a definitive one, and noah accept it with time, bc he’s her son and she just wants him to be okay, and if it’s his way then she’ll accept it, bc she knows she cant save gotham alone with her own way.

SAY HI TO BATGIRL probably the only batgirl bc none of my other characters would Fit the title >:0 !!!!!!! her parents are politicians in gotham, not exactly the best  kind of people but they’re good loving parents,,, she grew up going to galas and having to interract with the pompous people, knew noah before she knew she was batman. shes sweet and has a big sense of justice but hates the way politics affected her parents and growing up she noticed all the stuff they let slide and did just for the sake of winning and decided to just, do her things. her parents got her self defense lessons starting young and she had some notions of fighting so she just, threw herself out there, got her ass handed to her but kept going and noah got tired of seeing this little girl doing That and being Not Safe so she just (adopts emotionally). she and abel started out together and they’re tight and he helped her a lot to train and she broke through his emotional walls bc she Knows how to read people,,, they’re pretty tactile n loving together :((( she’s also a Lesbian and gets a metahuman gf later ... shes nell’s big sis and gets a bit frustrated when he’s Worse than abel with letting people in . but eventually they get rly close before he dies lmaoooo

sO there are a lot more characters i wanna get in it like, nell’s little sister finding him again and eventually becoming part of the batfam, and also the third kid noah adopts is called eden and he’s super smart and picks up on medical studies and tinker with engineering and has no desire to go out there and fight but he’s great support and he’s also angsty and comes from a rich family from gotham - yes again lmao - and also jasper who’s a meta who doesn’t know how to control his powers and whos the goodest boy,,, he does end up becoming a vigilante !!! and also titania who’s lena’s gf soon to be wife...... and eden’s siblings .... AND VIK who would . basically be roy . and nell’s bf . anyway . so much to talk about but ill just stop here fJOSEFOSEFJO

#ask me #the unwanted #noah #nell #lena #cody #abel #ocs #long post #Anonymous #eddy's art

[sawtual]

hello its harlisleys on my main!! for enrichment: what are the friend groups in the maxverse! do the sirens get along with the birds of prey? any thoughts about where the other rogues fit in? love ur designs so far!

im gona put the answer under the cut cuz i made little relationship charts to go with this and it gets long dkfgdkfjgdf

ALSO THANKUUU THIS WAS VERY ENRICHING Q__Q <3

OK off the top of my head, here are the main friend groups

harley quinn, poison ivy, selina kyle 

barbara gordon, dick grayson, jason todd

harley quinn, poison ivy, dinah lance, helena bertinelli

and then some ! important dynamics are- 

selina + bruce

harley + helena

harley + dinah

harley + joker

jason + ivy + harley

barbara + joker + jason

jason + bruce

bruce + barbara

bruce + harley + ivy

cass + harley

cass + barbara

(im sure i forgot some but these r like. the most important ones i can remember!)

this is gona be very much a harley centric world but i do wana explore other dynamics and relationships!! i know i wana dive more into the birds of prey characters as well as the batfam!!

FOR THE OTHER ROGUES!!

i know i want to have twoface/harvey and bruce be weird ex almosts from college, which causes a lot of strife. 

scarecrow and harley know each other and are friendly!! 

harley and deadshot hook up during suicide squad activities (harley would be removed from the team after her first mission via Bruce Wayne, but she does end up being forced into it). also im channeling assault on arkham vibes with their dynamic. he canot rly stand her but isnt actually cruel to her, and she is mainly just using him but feels affectionate towards him.

i have not thought abt how the dynamic would work storywise but i desperately want killer croc and harley to be friends. i will reflect on this

black mask is super important for dinahs story!! hes like. her main villain : (

red hood is very important in my story!!! harley and ivy take him in after the joker kills him, and ivy revives him with the powers of the green, causing him to be connected to it as well (though he has no control over it and the things can do are very weak/not relevant to him skillset wise). hes basically harley and ivys gay son dkfgndkf, he views them as his parental figures over bruce, and while this is mainly to Spite bruce, he really does trust and care for them. more ivy than harley bc .. harley does some fuck shit. but he cares for harley too

heres some chronological relationship charts ft. birds of prey and gotham city sirens : )

(basically during the original bop, babs and dinah start it, then renee and helena join later, babs n dinah have a very awkward dynamic with helena bc shes gay and has never rly seen Other gay ppl, and barbara is very hostile and takes her staring at them as her being homophobic so. its not GREAT!!!)

(a while after the birds break up, harley and helena end up working together and end up hooking up a few times, its kinda weird, kinda tender, and its mainly just harley trying her best try and give helena a little support which is at the current time pretty uncharacteristic for her)

(the sirens are together at the same time as harley/helena hookups, this is the longest of harleys joker free periods so its when shes at her healthiest, though she is clearly still struggling)

(this is a massive jump in the plot but. its for the relationship charts. we skip past a huge arc ft harley/ivy getting together, and becoming safe and settled with each other. harley and dinah meet up and begin a gay little fwb relationship post bop events , bop events are similar to in the movie but i did take my own spin on them, so theyre. also different ! ) ((also also just 2 be clear, while ivy was jealous of helena, that was bc she wanted the intimacy and love harley was giving her. now that they are in a committed and healthy relationship, ivy is ok with harley having certain other partners that theyve discussed n agreed on! its very much something they talk about unlike what the comics show :/ ))

(babs ends up initiating the birds of prey’s comeback. dinah and helena are both very unsure abt it bc uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the last time they worked together ended. VERY BADLY!!!! which i will release in more detail Soon. but. they end up agreeing and actually do form a rly good cohesive team and despite the awkwardness of their dynamic get a lot of good stuff done!)

#AND TYYY i am so chuffed with my designs qwq #i enjoy them #i should do a little breakdown of my inspirations! i think that would be kinda cool!! #asks #maxverse #dc #dantes-divine

[thrillridesz]

Could you ship tbz members with your mutuals? (Seeing this everywhere so I thought why not pass it to you!)

ahh i’ve been seeing this everywhere as well!! i’ve actually done this awhile back but since i’ve gained a lot of new mutuals since then, i’ll just give it a go once more ^^

i may or may not have put too much thought into this oops 🤭

sangyeon +  @moondustaeil @aveluant1a

talking to amber feels like i’m talking to a trusted older sister ngl. she's one of the people i’d turn to for an honest opinion or some much needed advice on stuff and i value her insights very much. she's also very mature in their thinking which is what i think sangyeon would appreciate a lot as the leader of a group of 11 (10) other boys who are always constantly on crack.

as for yu, she gives me very gentle and calm vibes seriously. she’s strikes me off as a hard worker from our conversations and she is very dedicated to her writing which i believe sangyeon would love in a person. i can already imagine him just staring at her work, with a look of affection and admiration in his eyes 😆

jacob + @ihearttbz

riane is an absolute angel to talk to and i love our conversations tgt because it’s always so easy to talk to her and i feel like i can tell her a lot of things i normally wouldn’t tell anyone else. she’d pair very well with jacob and just be that couple that everyone loves and adores, the really sweet couple that people just love to hang around with 💞

younghoon + @chaoticdeobi

um was it really going to be anyone else other than bea? XD younghoon as we know is a pretty shy person and bea to me, seems like the opposite of that. in their case, i think the phrase ‘opposite attracts’ is applicable! bea’s enthusiasm and liveliness is something younghoon would definitely find to be very charming, prompting him to come out of his shell very quickly when he’s around her. i believe whatever he lacks, she makes up for it and vice versa

hyunjae + @bobagyu @kpophours

rose is just so random and funny sometimes which is honestly just like hyunjae to a tee, they’re just so like each other in a way! i get the feeling that rose may be a little unsure of herself sometimes ( which she shouldn’t ) and i think hyunjae would be a great fit because he would definitely be able to help her become more confident while she can probably teach him to be a little less tough and be more vulnerable to his own feelings.

anna is an extremely bright and outgoing person from what i can tell from our conversations. i think that would complement well with hyunjae’s loud and larger than life personality and they would a 100% be that couple that everyone just asks to tone it down but secretly love having them around because they’re just so intriguing and fun to have around 💫

juyeon + @jyeonvoir

elsie has these very calm vibes and i’ve mentioned this before but she gives mad older sister vibes as well. she’s gentle and soft, very much like juyeon and ngl i may be just a little intimidated by her at first but after getting to know her, she’s actually super friendly and nice! she and juyeon would make a lovely couple and i can totally imagining them just chilling on a rainy night, watching Netflix while he wraps his arms around her in a warm embrace.

kevin + @2hyunjae​ @mae-gi-writes​

luna imo is pretty quiet for the most part but once you talk to her, she’s actually pretty fun to talk to! she’s also artistically inclined ( also have you seen her calligraphy skills? they’re insanely good omf ) which i think kevin would appreciate a lot as an artist himself! i feel like he can bring her out of her shell and when he does, he’d just be enchanted by her lovely personality and did i just write a fluffy fic prompt?? o.o

mae is JUST. SO. CUTE. my biggest kevin stan out there, you would be a great match for kevin i just know it. your enthusiasm and your meme vibes would complement kevin perfectly! she’s incredibly supportive and lively which is definitely something i think kevin would look out for in a partner. i can 100% see him with someone who’s just like mae in the future 💓

chanhee + @tidalstorm​

something about ros to me screams vogue and classiness and when i think of her, i feel like she’s super bougie? maybe im wrong but that’s how i feel! i get the same vibe around chanhee as well and her really cute personality i feel will mesh well with chanhee’s seemingly harder personality? they’re just very alike to me in terms of vibes!

changmin + @fluffytbz​ @sankyeom​

having talked to rosie, i can tell you that she’s one of the easiest people i’ve talked to on tumblr so far. she’s also such a sweet person and her vibes are really similar to changmin’s come to think of it? lovable but with a tiny hint of shyness? that’s changmin and rosie! i know we always see changmin smiling since that boy basically exudes happiness but i feel like there’s got to be a special kind of smile, the soft kind that speaks volumes of his feelings that he reserves for those he loves and i feel like that person could be rosie. does that make sense?

talking about belle is like talking about a role model to me >< i still fangirl sometimes but that’s beside the point. belle has such warm vibes that changmin would have loved! i feel like he’s not someone who likes to make his feelings know and he’d rather just be happy in front of the camera all the time but i think with belle, he would definitely be able to let his guard down around her. there’s just something about her that wants to make ppl trust her instantly 😋

haknyeon + @atbzkingdom​

dee is an absolute sweetheart which is just what hak needs. she can be level headed and mature when the situation calls for it but she can also have fun and be wild which i think hak would appreciate a lot in a partner! he’s been through a lot so i feel he may need someone who he can feel comfortable around to tell his secrets to and since dee is trustworthy like that, he’d feel at ease around her 😌 

hyunjoon + @tbzwurld​

ok i’ll be honest. i was kind of intimidated by bee when i first started talking to her. there’s something about her that just makes her whole vibe so powerful and just radiate such dominant energy ( not in that way ) but yes, she just seems so cool to me and the vibes she gives off to me is exactly the vibes hyunjoon gives me as well. once you get to know her though, she’s actually so sweet?? and kind?? and amazing?? idk why but to me, she’s what i think would be hyunjoon’s ideal type ✨

sunwoo + @minfuwa​ @jopping-to-my-kpop​​ @mjlkau​

although i haven’t rly talked much to iris ( but i really want to >< iris can we be friends pls ) iris has this sort of charm that i can’t quite put my finger on. it’s a certain type of charm that i associate with sunwoo? like there’s a certain appeal which they both have in common! from our very little interaction ( hopefully we can change that ), i get that she has a vibrant personality that would make everyone just love to flock to her and befriend her. ngl when i think of sunwoo, i think of her sometimes! maybe this is a signal from the universe idk 👀 

yo ok emma is just like super cool ok? idc what tf you have to say, she’s cooler than you and me and everyone else combined. her swag is just out of this world and i think her effortlessly cool persona is something that sunwoo would just be completely enthralled by. she's also a very reliable friend who i am so glad to have gotten to know bc hell, even i’m attracted to her personality so how can sunwoo not be? actually, sunwoo would love her personality! they both exude such badass but soft vibes it’s almost unreal 💙

anie has a very surprising personality imo! my first impression of her was really cute and sweet so imagine my surprise when she reveals that darker side of her >< i really like the duality though ngl and i think sunwoo would too! he’d just be so fascinated by her and just want to get to know her more and as he learns more about her, he’s just going to end up falling deep in love without realising until one day he’s like “fuck, i’m an idiot in love without even noticing it.”

eric + @heartyyjeno​ @lovely-kpop-writer​​

alesha is just a BIG ball of floof and i love her omg she's such a supportive and caring friend, it’s unreal. her enthusiasm to me, is on par with eric and if he’s the energy boy, she’s the energy girl for sure. they’d be that couple that just goes around hyping everyone up and everyone would just LOVE them! i know i would and if anyone disagrees, i’ll fite you >:(

jasmine my love!!! this girl here is just so incredibly lovely just like her url suggests and honestly, she’s one of the ppl who are most significant in my tumblr journey because her love for people is just so heartwarming? she’s always friendly and kind which is what eric would love in his future partner.  jasmine is just so PRECIOUS istg ❣️

#answered #anon #lovely moots #tbz #the boyz #qiu.txt

[trickstarbrave]

i get to make posts abt whatever i want and i like the long form ability tumblr has so im gonna make a post here abt it instead of a 29 tweets long thread abt it on twitter.com’s hellsite even if its a bigger thing there for ppl to yell at me: 

“how can you be NB and a woman? why even bother being aligned? why be more than one category? how do you know this isn’t a common experience with womanhood and it’s just misogyny?” 

there is no one experience of womanhood. this is true. i don’t know if this is a truly common or uncommon experience. i dont know how every woman feels. maybe a great deal binary women feel the same way, and maybe how i feel is entirely different from how women feel. but gender is not just an internal thing but an external thing. it’s, for me, both. no, wearing a dress or feminine clothes doesnt make you a woman and wearing masculine clothes make you a man, but how we live our lives and process our own thoughts is informed by the society and culture around us. all i can do is use that lens i have been given to interpret how i feel.

i dont think i am a binary woman. i use he/him and don’t like she/her or many feminine parts of language used to describe me, which isn’t something i see many binary women do. sure i can use pronouns i dont even like, much like how i can change my name to something i dont like, but im more so in the business of doing things that hurt no one for my own comfort and going from there. still though, not all of my behaviors are not unlike how i think womanhood is. i experience society primarily as someone interpreted as a woman. im okay to a degree with it too. i am subjected to misogyny and sexism. i am a primary target of those. i feel i have a vested interest in women’s rights not just because someone may mistake me for a woman but bc for all intense purposes i kind of am one. i love women and my attraction to women is based on that. i am attracted to other nb ppl with a relation to womanhood. 

for me it means i am partially out of the box. standing with one foot in and one foot out of it into something that isn’t manhood. for a while i assumed if i dont feel 100% like a woman the alternative was manhood. or gender fluidity. or that there is only a handful of experiences you’re allowed with being nonbinary like being entirely third gendered or agender. i relate to womanhood, and sometimes i dont at all. i feel it doesn’t quite fit, a label that applies only half the time and the other half manhood doesn’t apply to me at all either. for women’s issues and women’s spaces there are times i will be heavily involved and present bc they are issues that concern me and have resources i want and need. 

binary society, however, says you’re not allowed to have these varied experiences. you either feel like a woman and use she/her pronouns and look and act a certain way, or you feel like a man, use he/him pronouns, and look and act a different way. that if you don’t your existence is incoherent and irrelevant. it does not account for what each of these parts mean and serve (how pronouns can be very different from presentation or how people can be unable or unwilling to present a certain way), it just says “this is a list of things women do and this is a list of things men do”, and i say “well i do a lot of things on the woman’s list but don’t fill in the checklist entirely”. im on the fringe of womanhood, but orbit it enough that it’s still applicable as a category. 

not everyone will feel like me and reject being a woman and a man entirely, but i reject the idea that there is two distinct boxes that can only be solved by adding a third or fourth box. being nonbinary for me is existing in some level outside of strict boundaries or roles to any degree, and that means you dont have to reject womanhood or manhood to do so. you dont have to reject femininity or masculinity to do so. that some of us will be close enough to the box it might seem like it’s unnecessary to count us as outside it in any way but i say it does matter if we say it does. maybe most people exist outside of these boundaries to varying degrees and it doesn’t impact them, but it impacts me. being nonbinary means you may not be easily understood by other people. just like how bisexuals do not need to have an equal amount of partners who are men and women to be “real”, their bisexuality is important. if a bi woman dates 30 women and 1 man genuinely then she is still bi, not “basically a lesbian”. if a bi man dates 30 women and 1 man, he is not “basically straight”. i am not “basically a woman who should change my pronouns and language”, im woman aligned nb.

nb ppl can also be gay, or lesbian, or bi, or any other complicated sexuality bc they are unaligned and like women or men specifically, or only like nb ppl like them and we dont rly have good words for that ppl recognize. a binary gender system is like binary code, which means youre either a 0 or 1. theres no room for numbers between that, nor numbers outside it. all you can do is break the binary system that no longer servers a good purpose. and that also means we have to think in different ways about sexuality as we know, which was informed by a binary. 

nonbinary isn’t a clear cut thing. it isn’t as easy to understand as manhood and womanhood. our society wasn’t built to explain and understand it so i don’t fault people who dont. but trying to simplify nb identities into something easier to understand for you is wrong. being a woman or man isn’t smth as simplistic as people like to act like it is either. for now this is how i feel and communicate it. im a nb lesbian. i use he/him. pronouns dont determine my gender as unaligned nb ppl can use any pronouns like they as well, and manhood is more complex than simply using 1 set of pronouns. if you think im a man you look silly. if you think i share everything in common with women you look silly. it isnt entirely intuitive or straightforward but i am making due with what i have in a way that doesnt hurt others and isn’t based on bigotry. i dont reject womanhood because of bigotry, i know it exists and i fight against it. i love women and feel im close enough that women can love me too. i feel alienated partially because im a lesbian even, and other lesbians go through this to varying degrees too. 

[tigsousa]

INTRODUCING TIGS… @gallagherintro​​

⌠ CHAY SUEDE, 22, CISMALE, HE/HIS ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, THIAGO “TIGS” SOUSA! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in UNDECIDED; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (a shittier silver chain than connell’s, eDgY shirts with missing buttons, book rolled into back pocket, flipping everyone off, rolled cigarette tucked behind ear, bruised eyes or just bags?). when it’s the (aquarius)’s birthday on 20/01/1998, they always request their COCO POPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.

INSPO:

liam gallagher

BIO

grew up in a pretty rough and dangerous neighbourhood in dc, filled with Street Rats

parents: irresponsible, violent, addicts, basically only kept him for the benefits. home life was pretty miserable where he picked up most of his traits and habits.

but at one point it got so bad, his grandma reported them and took him in. they served some time in jail. he doesn’t know what they’re up to now, doesn’t care to find out either.

no one’s perfect -- his dad obvs gets it from somewhere -- but his grandma's love doesn’t make him cry. 

but he was an ungrateful lil shit ! so after a big argument, he left her and ran away/taken to LANDAN with a gang of grifters he met on da streetz for some gigs and what he thought would be Big Money

street fights were a common occurrence re: snatch *mickey o’neil vc* i’ll fight ya for it … if dc is here he learned how to fight, london is where he learned to fight dirty

the gang began to pull cons on a Bigger Scale until they got caught ! he was a Big Coward and ran away … but was sent back to the u s of a with 0 money lol (was p traumatic actually! ppl got killed! it still haunts him!)

came back 2 grandma n said sry a bajillion times n they made up

gma works as a housekeeper for a big time politician fam in d.c. and would get a few smol jobs for him as a pool boy or whatever else rich ppl have

but then his gma got ill and they don’t have medical insurance or da money for treatment so he dropped outta school and continued 2 swindle, in d.c. or where the money was tbh

gd thing about d.c. is politicians and they have lots of money !!!

it felt weird to scam people by himself. he wasn’t used to working alone so he started off small: hung out in bars, targeted politicians. end up in a hotel - they paid for it. long story short he got enough ammo to blackmail them into giving him $$ or he’d sell photos/videos to journalists ... n we all know how homophobic politicians are :clown emoji:

newayz … one of the cons ended up being a trap (fffff). they knew about his lil tricks n wanted to use him so proposed a deal: they’d pay for his gma’s everything, put her in the best hosp, pay off debts, send him to a good school which would secure his future !! in return they wouldn’t hand him over 2 da popo, clear his record, but he’d work for them + blackmails their opponents to strong arm them into votes or w/e

obvs he said yes bc he luvs his gma ..

PERSONALITY

Edgy n Cockney

has a dog called amigo

eats cereal out of the box for breakfast lunch n dinna xx it’s vegan xx

talks rly slowly, super lazy, as if he’s high 25/8

had 2 grow up quick so he is Mature but wasn’t allowed/able to Process all of his Shit so acts out + has childish tendencies (shock!)

super selfish + looks out for himself First … soz it just how it be it’s nothing personal

prefers to ruin things on his own terms so he is unforch #TeamFuckThingsUp

likes breaking thangs, likes burning thangs, likes gettin into fites .. For Fun !

rly just does what he wants regardless of whether it hurts other ppl – doesn’t rly care abt right/wrong .. aloof/detached/boner 4 nihilism yada yada

maybe that’s due to him liking d.c. coke a lot … a coping mechanism<3 microdosing mostly<3

if u get over all of that lol then he has a Deep side n has a lot of thots (which will b hard for me but o well) can be caring etc.

anti govt, anti rich, fuck da system a la vincent cassel in la haine etc. etc.

surprisingly Smort, likes 2 read + retains info like a sponge, good at exams without rly trying, will happily take exams for $$

likes getting to know ppl tho not out of genuine interest but also won’t say shit about himself

everyone at gallagher is stupid smart n kinda show offy abt it … highkey grinds his gears because he rly hates rich ppl and the govt and will fight u on it

will rationalise himself being at gallagher by saying he’ll destroy the system from inside out !!! lol ye rite

prefers to sit at the back, blend into the background, do his own thing

never chases after anything so if he does be suss

big fan of documentaries - louis theroux daddy

CONNECTIONS

friends: prefers 2 b more lowkey, more of a small chill group of ~pals than big groups of dumbos re: bros chat.

ex-friends: gimme platonic heartbreak! he has a tendency 2 fucc things up on purpose and will not hesitate to burn bridges 2 hide in da smoke (deep)

flings: type to kick u out bc he sleeps better alone and won’t hit u up for at least a week … no hard feelings</3

ex-flings: no emosh capacity for a full on relationship but it could’ve ended for a lot of messy reasons !! makes me laff

exes? he doesn’t rly believe in monogamy i’m sry . probs would’ve messed ur chara around a bit :// or mb it could’ve been legit srs i o n o

fre/enemies: he just … has 0 loyalties tbh so

met ur match: someone who just runs circles around him + plays his game better than he does ! its Messy !

senator’s kids: ur chara’s parent the one who took tigs in! probs shud be a Baddie tho

i cleaned ur pool: mayhaps he was ur pool boy one (1) summer + stole some of ur shit, maybe they got along, maybe they hate each other

pot head gang: talking about conspiracy theories on da rooftop at 2am pls ty

anti-painkiller: someone who is feeling shitty so hits him up to feel even worse . this cud become soft tbh . extra Spice if she wants 2 keep it a secret

underlined the good bits: based on dis lil nugget but instead of saving mankind make it taking down the government lol or a lil discussion or legit anythinnnn :-) bonus points if they dk each other :-)

why didn’t u ask me to stick around?: *peyton sawyer vc* erry1 alwayz leaves … n so did he !

the worst best partner: they were forced 2 partner up together but they rly rile each other up but lowkey werk well together and got a smashing grade ! he doesn’t care abt grades so probs someone who is a Show Off so he gets Aggro

if any of these fit ur chara/u vibin wit em, holla + we can go from there: uno, two, three, three and a half, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten point five, and most importantly: ot3 !!!!! and another one

#gallagher:intro #joining the 'pretend he looks less angry in this gif' gang #benefit of letting this sit for months is comin up wit actual connections uwu #idk wat im doin

[xmoonlitxdreamx]

Ok here's my college AU post. Only the characters from Virtue's Last Reward are in this AU because I played it for way more hours than 999 and kind of got more attached to the characters, and i never played ztd. Also I literally only started and finished 999 and vlr like a month/2 weeks ago............. so sorry if stuff is like really random lsdkjfslkdfjsdf

Alsooooo I don't normally have headcanons for fandom stuff so I guess I don't really know what I'm doing?? Sorry if this isn't interesting at all lmao. Sigma is obviously my huge favorite so this is mostly about how all the characters relate to him I guess HAHA;;

oh also some slight nsfw text here bc the characters are in college and people are horny. just a heads up idk

Sigma

double majoring in electrical engineering and biology

Mostly goofs off and parties and gets trashed all the time, kind of skips class except to take exams

but somehow he's acing all his classes bc he's freakishly good at studying (memorizing)

also a horny fool...... sleeps around all the time...... mostly sleeps w girls

initially id's as straight but he flirts w guys a lot when he's drunk. later comes to terms w being bi

even tho he sleeps around a lot he actually rly likes romance & tenderness & is kinda lonely (but he wouldn't normally admit this idk)

Phi's cousin

Kyle's brother

Akane's lab partner

has a crush on Luna

later also has a crush on Junpei

Friends with Alice and Clover

wants to punch Dio

Luna

On some medical school route at the college, aiming to be a doctor

Kind of lived a sheltered childhood or smth so she doesn't go out partying much and mostly stays in, but she likes to go w everyone when they're partying it up even tho she doesn't really do anything

Has an extremely obvious crush on Sigma that Sigma somehow doesn't know about

She's friends w Phi, Alice, Clover, and Kyle, later friends with Junpei thru Sigma

She wouldn't say it but she doesn't like Dio.

Phi

Sigma's cousin and roommate

she and sigma get on each others' nerves a lot but ultimately rely on each other for a lot of stuff and are good friends

Friends with Luna, Alice, Clover, and Akane

Oh I guess she's Kyle's cousin too. Idk I never really thought about if they get long.

Idk at all what her major should be tho if anyone has any suggestions lmk.

Alice

Another one that idk what she's studying. Criminology??

In an open relationship w Clover, closest to Clover out of the whole cast

Friends-with-benefits w Sigma (men get pegged™)

Friends with Luna and Phi, sort of friends with Dio (and Kyle by extension) because they had a class together once but also kind of hates him because he's obnoxious.

Clover

Studying the same thing as whatever Alice is studying (criminology I guess? idk)

In an open relationship with Alice, closest to Alice out of the whole cast

sheeee's not really fwb w/ Sigma, she only ever does sexy stuff w him if Alice is there OR if Sigma's in feminine clothes (but even then the two of them are not really a thing idk)

Oh but on that note she and Sigma like to go partying together & she likes to dress him up in trendy/cute clothes when they go out bc it's fun

She's bi but greatly prefers girls and feminine people

Friends with Luna and Phi, but usually more quiet around them if Alice isn’t around

Dio

Psychology major

idk why he's in this friend group I guess he made his way in thru Alice lsdkfjssdf he's not particularly close or on good terms with anyone except Kyle tho. People don't really like him much bc he comes off really flippant and arrogant

Really desperate to be cool and popular, throws a lot of parties 

Friends with/has a crush on Kyle; usually his personality is more toned down when they're hanging out one-on-one

Kyle

Philosophy major

Doesn't really get along well w/ Sigma bc he thinks Sig's rly irresponsible and obnoxious

Sigma also doesn't rly like Kyle bc he thinks Kyle's rly pretentious

Friends-ish with Luna but also gets annoyed at her when she talks too much about Sigma

Friends with Akane, trusts her w a lot of stuff

Friends with/has a crush on Dio

He and Dio get along bc they're both constantly having existential/identity crises about being the uncool sibling in their family lgksdfslnglsdkfj

Doesn't really party with everyone

also i think he’s gay idk

Akane

Biology and neuroscience double major

Sigma's lab partnerJunpei's childhood friend

loves 2 roast sigma

she and phi are the roast sigma committee :)

Her personality here is most like she is in 999 because idk what she's like in ztd

Friends with Phi and maybe Luna? She’s not as connected to the rest of the cast.

oh but she’s friends with Kyle and listens to him rant about how everything sucks for him

Junpei

Biology and neuroscience double major

Childhood friends with Akane, used to have a crush on her but not rly anymore (sorry y'all sdlfsjldfk)

Meets Sigma thru Akane in the bio lab one day

he's bi, kind of inadvertently helps sigma work thru his sexuality too

Has a crush on Sigma

Becomes good friends with Luna

Is kinda friends with everyone else but not as close as they are to each other? idk

Idk I heard his personality in ztd is edgy so he's kinda edgy/closed off in personality here compared to 999??? Technically I guess his personality should be most similar to old man Tenmyouji since this is a vlr AU but honestly i'm just freestylin when i draw Junpei ksdjfsldfkj

Other notes:

There's not really a plot or anything in this AU other than just romance/relationship nonsense, hahaha;; This all is basically just so I can draw the vlr characters having a stupid fun time instead of being depressed on the moon.

Quark's not here because he's 10............ idk how he'd fit in here slkdjfskfsdj maybe Junpei babysits him

Also my endgame ship (?) in this whole nonsense AU is luna/sigma/junpei which i think literally no one ships except me but.......... you have to trust me.......... please trust me it's good................ i'll be doodling some stuff of them at some point hopefully.

Their dynamic is basically this:

w/ Sigma in the middle. (this pic is via someone on twitter, unfortunately i can't find the original tweet u_u)

altho luna and junpei are kind of intimate w each other i think when it's just the two of them together they're basically just good friends who trust each other a lot & they both rly love sigma. & sigma loves both of them

ANYWAY that’s basically everything, sorry it’s all nonsense & if you don’t vibe with some of this stuff that’s fine this is just for me;;; 

in conclusion: i want sigma to be loved and cherished and have a good time in college

#info #vlr #zero escape #vlr college au #blab #ze spoilers

[f1shtears]

sighs i rly wanted to get up actual full-bodied requests in the tag but @ this pt i don’t think that kind of thing is going to happen before opening tmrw (this post itself might even be too late) basically this is a v quick v badly described run down of all the request-esque things i’m looking for for certain characters 👀👀👀

blaise hwang (23 yrs old, lee taeyong) - a messy ass streamer house (they all live under the same roof in seattle, having their own rooms to stream from) probably do a lot of group streams, a lot of collabs, dumbass prank videos filmed exclusively for their group youtube channel (i dnt have a team name yet kill me) following every single trend & posting their own versions of them, posting memes in their group chats, etc. but i was thinking they could potentially be a lgbtq+ stream team on twitch ? (they all dnt have to belong to twitch & twitch exclusively btw - some could be youtubers, some could be tiktok, some could belong to multiple platforms - as long as they have some form of social media presence they could fit in this) n by messy i want past relationships, future flings, this person slept w/this person but then this person the next day, just !!! messy (i’m bad @ explaining i’m so sry) 

unnamed kim hyojong (i’m working on it i swear) (25-30 yrs old) - an ex/baby momma/future poly female basically needing the mother of hyojong’s daughter/son (haven’t decided which yet) there are some TRIGGER WARNINGS for this req (drug use/abuse/addiction mainly - as hyojong is a recovering addict) rn baby momma (wat i’ll call her for now) is dating someone new (anywhere from a yr or less) who’s rly good to her (not to say hyojong was horrible but obviously when he wasn’t sober he wasn’t him), who’s good for their kid/good w/them, but hyojong has been going on 1 or 2 yrs clean now (the longest he’s ever been clean) & mb things are reminding them of how things used to be between them (when he wasn’t as addicted as he ended up being - tbh u can have her have been using too or not, that’s completely up to u, but mb he did push or pressure her into trying some things w/him while he was high & she did them bc she was that stupid in love, didn’t think much of w/e drug it was) anyway, obviously feelings redevelop but she also still has feelings for her current partner & this is where we’re going to work things into a poly w/jace’s jung wooseok (currently unnamed) obviously some things we can all work out together but some fc ideas are: kim hyuna, lee siyeon, hirai momo, minatozaki sana, open to other suggestions/western fc suggestions too (if none of these r ur fancy) the only other thing solid abt her is that she should be close in age to hyojong (anywhere from 25-30) 

rehab group ? don’t rly have much in mind for this yet bc it’s literally sth i just thought of for him but just a big mess of ppl regularly going to a support group for recovering addicts (of drugs and/or alcohol) if anyone has any additional interesting ideas for sth like this def drop me a discord or tumblr dm/ask - obviously some can be recovering as long as hyojong (1-2yrs) but maybe some are ppl who are a week clean, come in & talk abt how they relapsed & did such & such drug again, rinse & repeat ? ppl who aren’t sober rn but still come for the support, those of them that are sponsors, etc. just a big mess of people needing the help & support & hopefully finding it in each other - mb a bit of a makeshift family for one another 🥺 

unnamed hwang hyunjin (again, i’m working on it cries) (19 or 20 yrs old) - adopted family v loosely based on netflix’s umbrella academy this one is harder to explain in a quick para but... essentially a rich couple adopting different ethnicity babies/children (would be adopted young) from around the world (a way to include diversity in the family so pls try not to double up on an ethnicity if possible [just bc i’m playing an asian ethnicity doesn’t mean other asian ethnicities can’t be included as well tho]) n while these children don’t have super powers (obviously) most of them r gifted (weren’t born that way but were given the opportunities [& pressures that come w/those] growing up) for ex: hyunjin is going to be an olympic lvl figure skater BUT i am looking for this family to have a klaus-esque character too (aka a total fuck-up - or so most their family thinks) someone who doesn’t try (mb they did @ 1 pt/showed they could do it if they tried but...) also thought abt the possibility of including the ‘ben’ TRIGGER WARNING suicide and/or suicide attempt - mb all the pressure rly got to 1 of the kids to the pt of them either committing suicide successfully, or if someone is interested in playing them, having attempted suicide (i know it’s not rly said wat’s happened to ben in the show but i saw a fan theory for this @ 1 pt) 

this family will either have 5 or 6 (if someone wants to make the ‘ben’) remaining spots (not including my character) pls keep in mind none of the other characters (besides the klaus/ben) have to resemble any characters from the show @ all (& the klaus/ben are able to be played differently from how they r in the show - u can completely take the char & do it up however ud like to, as long as the concept is similar) but if u want to resemble them slightly off a character feel free to, this req is rly just v loosely based on the family aspect of the show/them being ‘gifted’ - age range can be anywhere from 18-early 30s (give or take) 

drop me an add on discord sigh™duck#1141 or send me a dm/ask here on tumblr if ur interested in any of these requests !!! probably won’t have official site requests up for most of these for a little while 

#sweeterplacerp #drug addiction tw #suicide tw #i tried to warn before these tws showed up but pls lmk if i should edit anything #or if i missed anything else i should tag

[misas-biggest-fan]

hey! do u have any ocs?? bc id love to see them! (idk if u posted abt them before but i just wanted to know bc i love ocs and hearing abt them lol)

;lakjdf oh you are SO KIND to ask me abt myocs a;sldk tysm !!!!!!

So I write a lot of monster stories. I lovehorror and I love love love monsters. I also write a lot of film bc that’s sortof my dream media.

Ill put my art under a cut bc it’s non-dn!!

One of my all time fav ocs is this ghosthunter (whos name rn is tba only bc I gave her that name in the first place bcI was jealous and wished id had it but now that im like ‘dang dude its been along time you HAVE to pick a name at SOME point’ im realizing that maybe the namesI gave characters bc I wished they were mine is like……… maybe a hint towardswhat names I want…… LOL so if I do end up picking this name ill have to ctrl Fall my scripts and notes for her to switch it out. it’s a v masc name.) ANYWAY we’ll call herGhosthunter. She’s the host of this this TV show where she finds and kills ghosts with herfriend, Maurice. However, bc of backstory reasons, she wants Ghost Powers soshe selfishly tricks Maurice into going into this rly dangerous haunted housewith her to provoke this monster that she thinks will give her powers. And itdoes!! BUT there’s a downside bc she walked into it’s trap and it’s going totry to eat her now. Her ghost powers look like this and she can mostly switchback and forth at will (ps, this is old art ;alskdj)

So anyway she has to travel around trying tolearn enough abt this creature to kill it while at the same time trying to keepher TV show on the air, salvage her relationship with Maurice, and deal withthe Backstory Reasons of why she felt she had to become a monster in thefirst place. It’s a TV series, it’s going to have 13 episodes (bc oooo scary 13 LOL), and my hope isthat it gets increasingly more intense and terrifying as it goes on!! I alsolove this bc it gives me this opportunity to explore things like fear of selfand also to design just like, as many monsters as possible for every episode. I’ve got thiscockroach doctor one a;lskd OH its good, he’s SO so scary I love him. (ps shesaroace!!)

Another oc im OBSESSED with is Marty. Thisone is a movie. (ive tried everything, I tried prose, I triedserialized episodes, nothing else rly seemed to fit. But that’s ok bc I need agood feature film script to throw around!!) Marty’s actually a demon!! But he’svery ordinary, very sweet, he’s just also, you know, a demon. He’s indirectlyresponsible for the death of this man, Quentin Green, who he had been secretlylow key stalking and really, really liked. So he possesses him an in attempt totry to keep him alive. It doesn’t work and Quentin dies and then it’s justMarty and this empty body. So he just….. Keeps it. (which is a questionabledecision of course.) BUT TWIST Quentin was an EXORCIST. And all his FRIENDS AREEXORCISTS. So Marty’s trying to keep this body in an attempt to have a life,but he’s also trying to hide from Quentin’s partner, Charlise, who is one of thebest exorcists there is. But it’s complicated bc he becomes friends withCharlise and feels like she’s one of the only people to ever really understandhim bc of some Backstory Reasons.

This one is less scary per se, but it issuper cool and fun and writing marty is like honestly a blast. this is him and charlise in the background!! again, oldish art ;laisd;asdlk

i dont have any super new art of my OCs rn bc ive been REAL focused on dn art for the past like almost year LOL but i am still writing them!!! ive got a few episodes of my ghost hunter one and im on my like 3rd-ish draft of my marty movie. ive got more OCs technically of course but most of them are for very short works. these two are closest to my heart!!

(i also feel like my version of A, Able, fallsunder this category, but I do plan on making them a little intro post one ofthese days, so just keep in mind that they’re here bless their stupid littleheart. Also, not rly related, but I decided to lift them and use them as wellfor another short horror story im writing. They have to escape this monster thatcrawls out of the walls and strangles them in their sleep every night aspunishment for accidentally doing/saying certain things during the day. It’svery scary and I like my monster design for this one, too. ;alksdj poor ableLOL)

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING i love talking abt these characters!!!!!! maybe once i have do some newer art that’s like, presentable, i’ll share some of it :D

#Anonymous #@ everyone this is non dn but if you like fun monster stories i have some ;DDD

[seojvns]

everything you didn’t care to know about seojun yoon. 

basic statistics.

full name: seojun yoon. 

nickname: jun, junnie, seo. 

how'd they get it?: they’re just... variations of his name...

age: twenty one. 

date of birth: april 27th. 

zodiac: taurus. 

gender: male. 

sexual orientation: pansexual. 

when did they realize this?: around the age he started being interested in people. it’s never been something he’s struggled with, it’s jus how things were/are. 

nationality: american.

hometown: daejeon, south korea.

current residence: cortland, wisconsin.

occupation: freelance photographer. 

for how long?: umm, probably since high school?? he started out doing it for free, to build his resume, and over time he began building it into something he could actually make money from. not much, but !! getting paid for doing something he loves?? really couldn’t ask for more than that. 

do they like his/her job?: obvs!!! does he wish he could have a lot more clients?? ya, but he’s patient and he’s got the time. 

salary: mm, depends on the job but probably anywhere from $150-250/job. 

family.

any significant ancestors?: ummmm, no. 

grandparents (describe relationship): he was really close to his grandmother, on his mom’s side, who passed away a few years ago. he’s close to his grandfather from that side too, but he’s a bit old fashioned in his views and sometimes conversations are... not really something he can take much from. but he likes his company, and overall they have a good relationship. his grandparents on his father’s side both died before he really got a chance to even know them. 

aunts/uncles (describe relationship): there’s definitely a distance. when he was younger, he’d see more of them, and his cousins too, but as he grew up... it became less of a tradition his parents and his aunts/uncles bothered to keep up with. he sees them at family gatherings, usually around holidays, but that’s about it. 

parents (describe relationship): there’s a lot of distance between him and his parents. his father’s always been distant, even at a young age he wasn’t very invested in seojun. but he’d buy him things, assuming that was a decent enough way to show his ‘love,’ but it only made seojun resentful of the money he tried to use in an attempt to get out of actually caring or showing interest. his mother, on the other hand, cared. but only when he was young. from the time he was adopted, at age five, until about eleven. after that she became more disinterested in him. she also started nitpicking him a lot?? like no snacks, finding a poem and critiquing it, etc. support wasn’t something he was given, which is why he’s become such a desperate lil people pleaser. 

are they still together?: yes, yep. 

what is the character's family life like: it was really lonely growing up, cause even if everyone was home they’d all be off doing their own things. usually seojun was in his room writing, or out exploring and taking photos. he probably would’ve found his way to his hobbies regardless, but their neglect definitely encouraged him to explore them in a way he might not have done much sooner. 

what does their family love most about them?: hmm, probably his manners. he’s a good boy and he’d never embarrass them or anything when they drag him to events or parties, so, yeah! 

hate?: they see him as too shy, and lacking of a personality, but really that’s just because they’ve kind of made him feel like he should just keep quiet and do what he’s told :/ and that’s exactly what he does. 

does the family have a specific set of values?: his parents are very much the type of people who want everything to look perfect on the outside, and not care much about how they actually are on the inside. 

what would their family be described like by another person?: reserved, well put together, successful. 

have they ever had any pets?: he did! he had a dog, a samoyed, which he got from his parents for his seventh birthday. his name was ghost,, original, i know!

what happened to them?: he died a few years ago :/ it was a rly rough time for jun, who basically had him throughout his entire childhood. 

relationships.

are they a virgin?: umm, nope. 

how did they lose it?: i’m embarrassed just thinkin abt it. 

have they ever cheated on a partner?: never would he ever!!! 

has a partner ever cheated on them?: probably. 

how did they react?: better question - did he ever find out? doubtful. 

who was their first crush?: hard to say :/ he gets a new crush everyday :/ 

are they in any kind of romantic relationship?: no!! 

how serious/relaxed is it?: hmph. 

describe the relationship with their current partner: this is... pointless... 

how did they meet?: why ask so many questions based on the POTENTIAL of him bein in a relationship... 

who made the first move?: prob not seojun in any situation ... he’s not very bold 

how does your character truly feel about their partner?: this.... is so redundant... 

when did they realize this?: thank u, next! 

who is your characters closest friend?: minnie uwu 

how did they meet?: umm they’ve been bffs for as long as seojun can remember okay!!! so how they met is just one of those things he doesn’t... rly remember bc it feels like he’s known her his WHOLE entire life, u know?? 

why do they get along so well?: because they’re both cute and soft and they just vibe together well ok,, why question these things?? there’s been so many late nights up talking about anything n everything, so many heartbreaks that she’s been there for, so many adventures they’ve had n have yet to have... she’s his other half!!! <333 

describe relationship with any other significant friends: adrian’s one of the most important ppl to him ?? like ever?? cause he’s jun’s best friend but also a lot more than that. even though they can’t seem to get things right, he’s always gonna have feels for adrian. kian......... gross where do i even begin!!!! seojun would literally die for kian. he’s more than his roomie ok seojun’s so disgustingly attached that no matter what kian did he’d never leave his side lmao #dedicated. jiwon is who seojun would be if he could choose his life sjfsfks she’s jus so,, uwu perfect n everything he aspires to be. he LUVS her even tho she can lowkey be a lil scary?? not in like a way that he’s legit scared but like... she can be intimidating a lil bit. rt if u agree

favorites.

favorite foods: sushi, korean fried chicken, fries. 

least favorite food: black licorice, celery. 

favorite colors: pale yellow and light pink. 

least favorite color: whatever the fuck u call the color blue that tumblr chose for the new bg color fksdjfs

music: pop, r&b. 

literature: mysteries!! 

smell: honeysuckles, bonfires, fresh bread. 

feeling: affection uwu

season: autumn. 

pets: dogs, but... he loves cats too :/ 

place: hmm, he’s really drawn to the woods?? like when he was younger he’d go into the woods with his camera and a book and just spend all fucking day out there. there’s something really peaceful about it ?? and there’s just so much to experience... the woods jus make him soft, k?? 

favorite sport(s): huh

possession this character values most: his camera!!!!!!!! his journals filled with poems about everyone he knows. 

why is it so important to them?: um, his camera is p obvious?? his poetry filled journals, well, that’s p obvious too. he doesn’t want to forget how he felt in the moments where he was inspired to write whatever he wrote. 

physical characteristics.

height: 5′8′‘. 

weight: 130 lbs. 

body build: slim. 

eye color: brown. 

glasses or contact lenses?: contact lenses, but sometimes he’ll wear his glasses when he’s feelin’ lazy. 

hair color: naturally it’s black, but he prob keeps it either light pink or blond.  

scent: tbh idk what to answer for this, describing someone’s natural scent... hard. 

voice: he’s got a soft voice :/ 

mannerisms: says ‘um’ and ‘uh’ too much, whining about nothing, watching anything/everything with subtitles, turns the tab on a soda can sideways. 

style: comfy clothing mostly?? like loose fitting tops and form fitting bottoms. 

how do they walk?: like a fucking model tbh??? 

what are their nervous tics: he’s blushing 99% of the time tbh,, nose scrunches, averting his gaze 

usual body posture: umm, i’d say he’s got p good posture?? idk,,

preferred clothing.

underwear: boxer briefs babey!

shirts: loose!! t-shirts, flannels, hoodies. anything oversized. 

pants: usually black jeans, like, 9 times out of 10. 

skirts: nah. 

jackets: more oversized shit. 

shoes: prob jus black boots? 

accessories: earrings, rings, make up. make up isn’t an accessory rly but i dunno where else to put that so yayuh that’s a thing. 

formal wear: umm he’s a classic black suit kinda guy, prob w a bowtie, idk. 

sleeping wear: t-shirts and boxer briefs,, do ppl ... actually have real pajamas? like in real life? 

swimming wear: swim trunks ig?? weird question but ok. 

intellectual/mental/personality attributes and attitudes.

did they go to school?: ya, duh. 

where?: west bridge!!! 

what did they learn?: he’s studying photography :-)

what were their grades like?: uh, they’re alright... could be better... he wants to do better but his focus is usually just... anywhere but where it should be. so he procrastinates, and turns in things late a lot, and still is trying to do better. 

native language: korean. 

do they know any other languages?: english. 

how smart are they?: not... very... both book smart and street smart. 

what is their strengths?: creativity, generosity, compassion. 

weaknesses?: time management, insecurity, awareness. 

character's short-term goals in life: don’t go to jail, pass all classes. 

character's long-term goals in life: have a lil photography studio and live happily ever after uwu

how does your character see themselves?: umm, he’s self aware enough to know that he’s kind of sheepish?? he feels like he’s probably awkward in,, so many situations, rip, but he tries his best to not be too weird skfjs 

how does your character believe they are perceived by others?: as a soft boy who wants to be everyone’s friend?? hopefully?? 

how self-confident is your character?: UM LOL NOT AT ALL

what makes their self-confidence waver?: everything,, he just never feels like he’s good enough?? prob because of his mom’s nitpicking, his parents’ lack of interest generally, and the fact that he just has a low self esteem overall. 

what would embarrass your character the most?: being put on the spot about anything, having too much attention, falling for someone who doesn’t like him. 

how does your character feel about love: he!! loves love!!! he rly thinks that there’s someone out there for everyone... maybe not in a ~soulmates~ sense, but he thinks that companionship is a big part of happiness.

about crime: he doesn’t commit crimes... often... but if he does it’s because he can be talked into almost anything. 

people of a different sexuality?: loves everyone, thanks. 

different nationality/race?: loves everyone, thanks. 

how does your character show affection/love?: listening to them n remembering things they’re told, hand holding, doing literally anything they ask. 

how does your character handle grief? not well. especially in the case of manon, which has left him with a terrible sleeping pattern and the heavy feeling of guilt. 

what are they like when they cry?: prob like really dramatic,, like cry a lot while curled up in his bed under the covers kinda cry. 

what can make them cry?: betrayal, loss, anxiousness, stress. 

how does your character handle physical pain?: not well, he probably whines a lot and pouts even more. 

emotional pain?: even worse. he’s so forgiving that even if someone hurt him emotionally, he’d forgive them, but he’d probably be lowkey sad (but in a self blame kind of way) about it for awhile.

is your character typically a leader or a follower?: big time follower. 

what kind of energy level does your character typically display?: soft, upbeat, 

describe their sense of humor: prob either lame or softly sarcastic. 

hobbies: takin pics, writing poems, making playlists for people that’ll never hear them, watching shows instead of studying. 

talents: ...takin pics, writing poems, making playlists for people that’ll never hear them...

extremely unskilled at: focusing! and sports. 

if any, what musical instruments can they play?: piano :-) 

emotional characteristics.

how does the character relate to others?: through soft interactions and deep conversations. he’s pretty honest and open, so if someone asks him something, or even just talks to him, chances are he’s being as open with them as he would be with his close friends. 

how does the character deal with anger?: not well, but when he’s angry, he’s usually more upset than angry? and he wants to resolve things as quickly as possible, otherwise he’s stressed abt it until it’s fixed. 

with sadness?: listens to sad music and cries in the shower. drama queen. 

with conflict?: he’s always the first to apologize. 

with change?: he’s actually pretty adaptable for the most part?? but if it were like a major change, maybe not as good. 

with loss?: ummm, could be better!! probably gets a lil distant when he’s dealing with a loss. 

what does your character want out of life?: happiness :/ 

what would your character like to change in his/her life?: the whole manon thing JFKLSF

what motivates your character?: his future, or at least the ideal future he has in mind for himself. 

what frightens your character?: the fact that they could get caught for covering up a murder perhaps??? terrifying. 

are they afraid of the dark?: ...yes, but he acts like he isn’t cause he’s embarrassed. 

death?: not really?? like he doesn’t WANT to die or anything, but he’s not afraid of death.

what makes your character happy?: listening to good music, giving people things that make him think of them, the photo editing process. 

sad?: being alone, the fact that his parents never care to check up on him, films where the main couple doesn’t end up together.

angry?: people being rude to his friends, being lied to, unnecessarily passive aggressive people. 

aroused?: neck kisses, being called baby, someone who’s rly direct and just kind of... does what they want skjfsl 

annoyed?: people who speak over other people.

guilty?: covering up a potential murder, turning things in late, lying. 

is your character judgmental of others?: no. even if he doesn’t agree with their opinions/things they do he still tries to refrain from judgment. 

is your character generous or stingy?: generous af. 

is your character generally polite or rude?: polite!! angel boy. 

optimistic or pessimistic?: optimistic. 

introvert or extrovert?: lil bit of both?? 

daredevil or cautious?: cautious. 

logical or emotional?: emotional lmao. 

disorderly and messy or methodical and neat?: he thinks he’s methodical and neat but he’s actually disorderly and messy. 

would they rather be working or relaxing?: working, even though he thinks he’d rather be chillin he’s kind of terrible at doing nothing. 

how do they feel about animals?: um... he loves them?? he’s the kind of person that’d accidentally let a raccoon in his house and let it stay. 

what is their best quality?: his sincerity. 

what is their biggest flaw?: how trusting he is. 

#sjflskf what do i even tag this as #about. #u kno those myspace surveys ppl used to do #like in bulletin boards? #that's kinda what this felt like #v relaxing

[maribelsawyer]

- ̗̀ * ( ella purnell + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( maribel sawyer ) walking around campus ? they are a ( nineteen ) year old, studying ( journalism ). we hear they are in ( delta gamma chi ), and can be ( benevolent & impressionable ), maybe it’s because they are a ( gemini ). they sort of remind us of ( scraped knees , magnifying glasses , vintage oxfords ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + newspaper writer

god okay looks like i’ve fallen in love w ella purnell and i want to b her. anyways maribel is my newest baby n im sorta making her up as i go so pls bare w me lmao

TW: eating disorder mentions, subtle abuse?

{she is not currently in that mindset ^}

gen. info

full name: maribel ottoline sawyer

nickname(s): mari, bell, lottie b/c middle name, etc. etc. just sawyer sometimes idk

b.o.d. - june 1st, 19 yrs old

label(s): the marionette, the demure, the prevaricator, etc. etc.

height: like 5′3″ prolly tbh

hometown: duluth, minnesota

sexuality: shit she don’t know

bio. info

her dad’s in the air force, her mom’s published three diet cookbooks and two different DVDs--maribel is the only middle child

one of those conservative, all american families, they were strict and definitely made it known that they were parents and not friends by any means

9pm curfew, not leaving the dining room until all ur food is gone, grounded if ur grades were below their expectations, etc. etc. 

her older sister can evoke emotions in others thru her acting like no other. has taken the hearts (and leads) of all her acting directors since childhood. her voice is broadway material.

and her older brother? has been the best linebacker on any high school team he’s joined; hopes to make it to the big leagues. but if he doesn’t? he’s been taking college-level classes since he was a sophomore.

and...maribel?

maribel is...just, maribel.

for the longest time, there was nothing special about maribel

she couldn’t sing, or dance, or compose words in pretty prose

her grades were only satisfactory after hrs n hrs of studying everyday

homegirl can’t even cook w/o smth exploding

in short, maribel has never been good at anything. can’t draw within the lines, can’t follow the line, opens her mouth at the wrong time. etc. etc. shit? rough.

ANYWAYS

her family moves around a lot b/c of her dad, so she’s never really been in one place long enough to really prove herself? always been the quiet girl in class while her siblings brought home gold stars everyday

the kinda girl others would sorta push around n bully a lil bit bc she would never know what to say; prolly just cried a lot tbh

grew up w a lot of insecurities b/c of this

definitely doesnt help that her mother is obsessed w beauty n fitness n like

their mother p much forced her lifestyle onto her children, mari has a rough relationship w food b/c of it

ANYWAYS part 2

grew up always in the shadows of her siblings and their accomplishments, and spent a lot of her time tryn find something to be good at just so somebody could give her a stamp of approval

was always the ~wannabe~, the girl who would just endlessly suck up to the most popular girl she could find and try to mimic her to the best of mari’s abilities, just so she could survive her school experience

by the time mari was a freshmen in high school, her parents had divorced and she finally thought she could have a normal school experience and make something for herself

obv not. her mother shipped her off to a boarding school in nevada and that was it; her sister had already graduated and her brother was still in middle school.

it was finally just mari.

of course like she tried to suck up to others but it wasn’t really helpful, everybody was a lil too boujie for her and she always froze up when she tried to speak to the ~popular kids~

they only rly spoke to her b/c she’s got this knack for forging shit, like i dont think she even has her own handwriting; she always copies other people’S b/c she’s just. so used to tryn to mimic others n be them as much as possible

around this time she found herself fucking around in her computer class more often than not; it’d been the only elective left b/c she arrived in the middle of the year

but she surprisingly enjoyed it, like, a lot

her parents never really allowed much computer use b/c like. rots ur brain or whatever.

got into programming, but when she found out that u could ? hack shit ? kinda peaked her interest.

her shift into programming to hacking was subtle but before she knew it, she was fucking around on websites for the fun of it. never anything severe

computers became her friends, y’know

that was until her sophomore year and there was another loser fucking around on the computers during lunchtime

and like...they just started kinda talking, y’know? became friends, prolly mari’s first legitimate friend in...forever, really

the kid was kinda weird but she didn’t mind b/c fuck, mari couldn’t be picky n she didn’t mind weird

like...they were obsessed w conspiracies n mysteries n shit

it started to rub off on mari too, b/c homegirl is an idiot but. an observant idiot.

so she started getting reeeally into mysteries and shit. started acting like a mini investigator w/ her pal; solving stupid things like ‘who wrote ‘mindy is a whore’ in the bathroom stall’ and ‘does mr. roberts have a secret obsession w kpop’

no mindy is not a whore it was slander

yes mr. roberts is into kpop

ANYWAYS part 3

so they were these nancy drew, scooby doo, veronica mars knock off duo

by junior yr her partner started getting into like. drinking and minor drugs and other things that the other boarding school kids were smuggling in, y’know. 

this meant that mari was getting into that shit too, y’know. cant stay innocent forever.

became a lil bit of a pothead lmao

so like now theyre just stoners who go around solving shit and prolly also stirring shit up for the hell of it

so like . . . . . one night they were doin’ their thing, right? and her partner brings up this...completely wild idea

they live in nevada. y’kno what else is in nevada?

area 51

these fucking idiots want to go break into this fucking. air force base. to find area 51.

guess what they did?

they attempted to break into the air force base. like. of course they tried.

they failed like, super miserably, got arrested for trespassing and had to be bailed out of the county jail by their parents

her dad almost lost his job so he was mcfuckin PISSED esp once they figured out she was high as shit

her partner? disappeared. nobody knows where they went.

mari was moved from the boarding school to a public school closer to where her mother could, begrudgingly, keep an eye on her

kinda spent the rest of her high school career p miserable, she gave up on her whole ~detective~ thing and resorted to making fake IDs for her fellow high schoolers

was drug-tested like every week or so, too

around this time her mental health and relationship w food got worse, she barely made it to graduation. took a gap year to recover, worked a buncha jobs but usually gets fired from them b/c she’s really fucking bad like most things besides her two (2) unconventional talents that are decidedly useless

came to ucla b/c her mother p much made her, her mother’s a legacy and that’s about the only reason why she got into delta gamma chi

doesn’t want ppl to know she was a loser and also like . fucked up her dad’s life a lil, b/c it was def a thing that made the news and the only reason why her name wasn’t in the articles was b/c she was a minor at the time

so she like...lies abt her childhood a lot

tells a lotta lil white lies b/c she just. doesn’t wanna b her

uuuhh wanted to do computer science bc she loves it but her parents were both like ‘lmao we’re not paying for shit if u do that’ bc they don’t think it’s very ~ladylike~ n they still want her to like. just be submissive and obedient n shit.

so she took up journalism b/c neither her parents think it’s like a real career and they just want her to find a husband n get married n settle down n stop being troublesome

fun fact: she has a scholarship for being lefthanded so that pays for Some of it esp b/c she’s an out of state student

still struggles a lil bit w food but she’s like. doing a lot better. goes to group therapy, probably

uuuh that’s it for now i think ??

OH SIKE !! she’s a writer for the newspaper and writes ADVICE columns on various topics b/c she’s good at offering advice but only when she can sit down n think abt it lmao

^^she goes by an alias b/c she just. doesnt want ppl to know its her idk she thinks its embarrassing

other than that she’s probably like ... doing campus tech support b/c that’s her current job but who knows how long that’ll last lmao

knowing her she’s going to accidentally switch into her phone sex voice (another, old job she doesn’t do anymore) n get fired for tryn seduce a man with ‘did u try turning it on and off again?’

OKAY i think that’s all lmao

personality

mari is just. awkward, man

i mean like...she’s sorta bad at talking to others a lot of the time??

like ppl r kinda like ‘how tf r u a delta gamma chi girl’ n she’s just like i mean u  h h h h 

prolly stutters a lil bit b/c she’s usually rly anxious

but she’s v v nice, like, she tries her hardest to be a good friend n everything

but she also kinda switches her personality to appeal to whoever she’s talking too ?? like she wants to be. likable. she’s not real w/ others v v often

if ur boujie yeah she’ll pretend to be boujie too

she prolly still sells fake IDs to high schoolers n some of her college peers, she has one herself n hasn’t gotten caught yet sooo

always fidgets like she can’t rly sit still often b/c she’s so nervous

is a lil bit of a stoner but i feel like u can’t ever tell tbh

a lil shy n hesitant at first i’d imagine, or maybe just always lmao

has a bit more of a personality once she sucks it up n gets closer to u but she’s always v v cautious abt befriending ppl just b/c she’s had a bad time w bullies n her one friend in life disappeared so like...bummer, y’kno?

can never say no. like, i dont think it’s in her vocabulary. she’s a yes gal.

will p much do anything u ask of her b/c she’s constantly seeking approval

can ramble a bit when she’s nervous which is always but she also apologizes like a lot.

squeaks like a mouse

present at parties but it’s always kinda like. who r u. n she has to remind everybody that she’s a sorority gal too

considers herself v v forgettable, like, just v unimportant

like she’s just rly insecure

still does computer shit n is still rly good at it but she hasn’t done anything srs w/ it so it’s just wasted potential

going to use her journalism degree to do investigative journalism and maybe escape her parents, eventually

she just. bends easily to other’s wills, y’know? she’s hashtag soft

even tho she’s like. shy n awkward n shit it doesn’t take a lot for her to like, laugh, or smile

like she tries rly hard to appear happy n an optimist n just like. unfettered

a lil plain jane we stan

i cant think of anything else but she’s. she’s a good kid

OH she’s rly good w numbers n math but like that’s abt it. she’s a whole dumbass on everything else sometimes

is bad w talking n giving advice like in person but like ?? in her column or ovr text or smth ? she’s good. she’s concise.

is a good team player/good w/ projects/etc. etc.

OH OKAY YEAH

she’s rly observant n b/c she’s a lil bit of a compulsive liar she can usually tell when ppl arent honest

depending on how close y’all r she’ll prolly crack down on ur bullshit

but she’s also timid so like who knows tbh

this isn’t a personality trait but she wears like medium hoop earrings all the time n it’s cute ok bye

OK OK LAST THING

she’s so. fucking. clumsy. she will bump into everything. she’ll bump into the air. fuck, she prolly falls over just standing straight. usually has bruises n scratches from just being a clumsy idiot

like she can b a lil ditzy y’know ?? doesn’t have much common sense, sometimes, n can b naive but idk it’s all rly dependent on her n who she’s w n just. how i end up playing her lmao

lovs vintage. is cute.

wanted connections

her roommate uwu

ppl she’s interacted w/ during her childhood !! she’s moved around a lot so like . . . . they could kno each other

mmm sorority sisters

um gimme a ride or die or like a best friend or smth PLS she needs more friends

just more friends in general. she’s awkward but she needs ‘em

?? a one night stand ?? she’s not really . . . known for hooking up w/ ppl but i think an accidental occurrence would b fun!

idk somebody for her to just. crush on from afar. prolly stutters whenever they come near or talk to her or smth

^^i mean like an unrequited crush

SOMEBODY USE HER ! RUIN HER !

FRIENDS OR FUCKING OR WHATEVER

fake friends too! use her for her ~kewl skillz~

bad influence

let her b a good influence

some kinda...skinny love idk what that means. a will they wont they. smth cute. smth pure

it’d be wild if her partner just popped up outta the blue like that b/c mari 100% thinks they were like killed by the government

ppl she gets high w n talk abt conspiracies w/ tbh

ppl she gives or has given advice to w her column pieces ! love it

idk partners in a class

enemies or smth. i want conflict.

a tutor for her dumbass

but also anybody who needs help in math? she can tutor u

idk like this we can work a lil smth smth out

i give u one penny, if u plot w me. pls. i am poor.

#uclas:intro #like if u'd like to plot w her !! #pls give her love i think i love her

[missing-my-griffin]

ok so CLARKE AND HER TRAUMA: an explanation.(warning: long.)

Everyones rly upset about how clarke left bel behind to die when he would never do that to her. About how shes a hypocrite tasting her own medicine and doesnt have the right to be so upset. (I read someone described it as her having a hissy fit?).

I made this post abt how clarke is traumatised and y thats the reason she was able to feel nothing leaving bel behind. Now let me elaborate on that. 

Clarkes BIG trauma was her giving up in the desert ready to blow her brains out. And I mean: thats Clarke. Badass, cold, ruthless Clarke. Shes such a strong character, and for her to reach that point.., thats pretty intense, guys. After a traumatic experience like that its difficult to bounce back, to heal without someones help. And after you have such a low point, its very easy to develop a codependent, almost sick connection/addiction so something. Youre vulnerable and wounded, people pushed that far into desperation usually dont have any emotional strength left within themselves to heal. So usually they find something to distract themselves. The most common thing where this happens in our „non fictional“ world is a new partner after youve been hurt by someone. People with low self esteem who are unable to heal themselves find a new partner and every emotional connection they have to anything gets intertwined with that person, gets projected onto them. That can be self-worth, purpose, love, anything. Your happiness is completely dependant on your relationship with that new partner and how they treat you.

Now of course we are in the 100 universe here, where nothing is ever that mundane, and the stakes are way higher. But its the same principle. Clarke broke, and if she had found a way to heal, if she had found Madi maybe a year later, maybe she would have been better. But she didnt. She found Madi, and everything got projected onto her. Clarke was „gone“ emotionally, but that didnt mean she didnt still yearn for human interaction and love. So in order to cope, she became a purpose and kind of stopped being a person. Because that way she didnt have to deal with her trauma. With being left behind, with being all alone. She wasnt alone anymore now, but in a way she still was. A kid/grown up relationship is nothing like a relationship with someone equal to her. She had to burden everything, and at the end of the day, had noone to talk to. But she didnt feel that anymore, those emotions got neatly stacked away in her unconsciousness. Bc she had a purpose now: madi and her happiness. If you will, Madi was her escape: her excuse to not care about herself, her reason to not deal with her trauma. But that didnt mean she didnt still feel that trauma deep inside. And as the years passed, EVERYTHING got projected onto Madi. Kind of like an addiction, I guess. Most people who get addicted to substances do so in order to not feel whatever they were feeling. So Madi was her Whiskey: while she was with her, everything was good and bubbly and all right. But take Madi away, and we have 6 years of unprocessed, intense emotional trauma that never got dealt with? Plus Madis a sweetheart, and Clarke truly loves her.

And take the radio calls as proof that she did, in fact, feel that trauma. The calls were just another way of coping. She didnt know if shed ever see her friends again, and released she was in love with Bellamy Blake. SO her unconscious, dumb ass came up with another safety blanket: the hypothetical „solution“ to her trauma: for everyone to come back from space and out of that bunker. No need to deal with it, the only way to fix it would be for everyone to come back down anyways, right?

SO fast forward to right now. Everything shed hoped would „fix things“ happened, but nothing got fixed. If anything, she feels more alone than ever. Bellamy didnt wait for her, but she cant blame him, if anything she thinks of course he doesnt love her; never has. Her friends grew into a family shes not a part of. Her mom is god knows where. She realised the hypothetical solution to her trauma was a pipe dream. And the only time shes felt okay was when she was alone with Madi, being a purpose and not a person, not feeling anything but love for this girl.

And then in ep 5&8; she probably started to have a little hope. She had hope Bel and her could at least get some of their closeness back. She started to trust him, maybe even started to feel safe and comfortable. And then BAM he endangers Madi. Shes thrown back light years, bc she got hurt and her trust betrayed in her most vulnerable state.

So she shut down emotionally, and I mean COMPLETELY shut down. She straight up sort of lost her mind. The way she freaks out after bellamy leaves to use Madi? Holy shit. I dont want to know what it feels like inside of her. My poor baby. I mean she just goes to kill Octavia straight away? And O is literally like „what the fuck girl. What are you doing.“

SO in conclusion: Theres a hell of a lot going on inside of Clarke Griffin. Bellamy had 6 years with family and friends, he found love, he has a support system. And she? Shes got nothing. And plus she thinks Bel poisened O for his family and not for her, girl hasnt got a clue.

So its not like shes a stone cold bitch for leavng Bel behind. Its just that for the various reasons I listed, shes not strong enough to care for anything but Madi. She has no way to even start dealing with or feeling her own emotions, so she shuts down, which is why its so easy for her to leave bellamy behind to die. It really just goes to show how far gone this girl is. And thats it. Clarke needs a god damn break. Shes always been the strong one, for 4 seasons straight. And now its all fallen apart. They need to fix her and help her and hug her GOD DAMN IT. 

And one last thing: comparing bellamys reaction in S4 with the bunker to now is just not right. (or ton DC) Octavia is a grown ass woman, first of all, not an innocent child. Grown ups have different instincts when it comes to protecting children. Plus Bellamy does have issues to deal with regarding O, but theyre in no way comparable to Clarkes intense feelings for Madi. (the trauma and codependence I mean) and LASTLY Clarke knows shes being crazy. I dont think she thinks not using Madi its whats best for everyone. So shes not a hypocrite. The situations are totally, completely different. Thats what this show does. It comes up with terrible terrible situations to throw our characters in. These are new stakes. Not recycled moral dilemmas. 

#bellamy blake #bellarke #clarke griffin #The 100