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crimeronan · 10 months

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i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

#thebibliosphere i apologize for tagging u when we don't know each other at all i just want u to get credit for the initial discussion #given that it is so much more thoughtful and clear than anything i'd think to write.#i did NOT mean to spend multiple hours on this but once i started writing i was like #oh god i actually do have like a lot i can tell monogamous people about writing poly people & the poly perspective #anyway. i mention it in the post but people can send me (respectful. obviously) asks if they have questions #i cant promise to answer all of them bc i am bad at this. but if i'm well enough then i'll try #polyamory #non-monogamy #ethical non-monogamy #writing #my writing #writing advice #relationships

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bethiewhimsy · 3 months

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i think the saddest part about the husk shaking from fear because of alastor scene is that he never seemed afraid of him until now. he felt comfortable enough to talk to him, to offer advice and even to bite back when alastor started picking on him. there’s scenes in which they tease each other. husk knows a lot about alastor that nobody else (not even the audience) knows, whether he was purposefully trusted with this information or not, neither seem threatened by it. before that, husk simply seemed regretful to be indebted to him, like alastor was just a burden to bear. i think that’s why his reaction to alastor in that scene was so intense. alastor had perhaps never treated him so harshly before. and that scared the shit out of him. and probably felt akin to some sort of betrayal or something. like being reminded of the awful truth (that alastor OWNS him, that he COULD kill him, that he’d be happy to)

#idk y’all im just thinking aloud here #it’s also very worthy to note that alastor DOES take husk’s advice.#idk i want to know more about husk & alastor’s relationship rlly bad #ALL THE ALASTOR ANAYLSIS POSTS GOT ME THINKING.#hazbin hotel

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humanfist · 2 years

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Being honest with him strikes me as frankly an extreme tactic to try in a relationship. Maybe after everything else fails you, try honesty, but first ask yourself if a relationship that requires honesty to preserve is a relationship worth preserving.

dear abrogail

#bad relationship advice #omake #pathfinder #cheliax #agony aunt parody #planecrash #glowfic #abrogail

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desultory-suggestions · 6 months

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Having a resurgence of insecurity, anxiety, or frustration around something that you forgave or that happened a long time ago is not wrong. Things we have forgiven can upset us, they can come back up and bring insecurity. You are not holding onto something unfairly by still being affected by it. There is a difference between shoving a past mistake in someone's face and saying that it still hurts sometimes to think about it.

#“i forgive you” doesn't mean “this will never make me feel bad again”#it's normal to need reassurance over a past occurrence in a relationship #relationships #forgiveness #guilt #mental health #mental illness #relationship advice

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lylahammar · 5 days

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I think the important thing about body neutrality and body positivity existing side by side is that body positivity is a big hurdle for people who are just starting to work on learning to love their bodies. When someone's at their lowest point, it's better to say "aim for just fine," and once they reach that level of neutrality where they can appreciate the functional ways their body is serving them, it's a lot more feasible to make the jump to seeing the visual beauty of it.

#just a random thought #I've had a lot of people in my life ask how to get started on learning to love themselves and their bodies #and this is always the advice I give them #just aim for being okay with your body not good not bad just fine #appreciate what your body is able to do for you #and what it's able to survive and function with #and then you'll naturally start to build a relationship there #it's kinda like becoming friends with someone before you jump to dating #you gotta get to know em first if you want it to be a serious relationship that you build over time #lyla's talking again #fat liberation #body positivity #body neutrality

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thatbadadvice · 7 months

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Help! I Am Entitled To Do A Bone!

The Ethicist, New York Times, 14 October 2023:

My wife became pregnant soon after we met, when our relationship was “fluid” and non-monogamous. We agreed to raise the child together and, at my urging, to have an open relationship. However, our relationship since has been monogamous. My wife was injured during the birth of our second child and now finds sex painful and avoids it. (We had a terrific sex life before the injury.) When I broached the topic of having other partners and reminded her of our agreement to have an open relationship, she became irritated and said that having kids changed things. Subsequent discussions resulted in a stalemate. I very much enjoy my wife’s company and love her and our two kids. I have no intention of separating from my family. Nonetheless, I harbor resentments that my wife reneged on her commitment to me, and this, together with the lack of sex, is creating a wedge between us. Would it be ethical to take a mistress, given her earlier promise, and if so, can I do this discreetly so as to avoid tension and perhaps divorce? Or should I tell her I am planning to pursue this course of action? Or does the inherent risk of infidelity mean I should accept near-celibacy indefinitely? — Name Withheld

Dear Name Withheld,

The restraint with which you signed yourself "name withheld" rather than the more accurate "big fun deep-dicking from which I have been blocked by my hateful bitch wife" is admirable in the extreme. You are a credit to your gender, sir.

But on to the matter at hand, specifically, your hand, to which you have been relegated in lieu of the aforementioned big fun deep-dicking. Your wife waited to drop the vicious bomb of possession upon you until she had roped you, an unwitting fancy-free man of leisure (entitled to all the benefits thereof indefinitely and in perpetuity), into marriage and fatherhood of not one but two children — children you could have in no way have known would result from your consistently and entirely monogamous coupling over many years, and moreover, could never have expected would complicate the terms of the thing y'all talked about one time about boning other randos?? And now this self-interested harpy dares to refuse to you the clear promise of sex with absolutely anyone other than her at any time ever, which she made and guaranteed in surety after you'd been fucking for a minute? A promise you had in theory enjoyed by writ and at length in your mind based on a conversation y'all had years ago before the entire terms and nature of your relationship changed in deep and meaningful ways to literally the one other person involved in said relationship, to wit, the worst person?

A bait-and-switch of the kind your cruel and fickle wife has pulled on you cannot, should not, be tolerated. Are you — is any man, really — obligated to just not fuck his wife in addition to whoever else he wants to fuck ever? Just because she "finds sex painful"? Sex isn't painful for you, and doesn't that matter just a little bit more? Isn't it her job to have kind of a bad time so that you can have a good time? Isn't that what it is to be a woman and a mother? And she just casually eschews her duty to put up with whatever the fuck you propose? Because WHY? Because "having kids changes things"? I ask you: changes things for who? For the person who carried children in her body and experienced deep and lasting personal and physical injury? Or for you, the person who matters most?

It seems your wife has an unfortunately topsy-turvy view of partnership, one in which she believes two individuals are allowed to dictate the terms of a relationship that may change over time due to a variety of mitigating factors that one or both of you may or may not have control over. Would that she realized that her sexual needs are not merely incidental to yours, but actively irrelevant. If only she would simply give you that one, small thing (in addition to two children).

But alas, she seems sadly fixated on her own needs to the exclusion of the fact that you would like to do a bone upon her or frankly anyone, you are not picky, as long as she doesn't leave you or take your children away or do anything really to upset the world as you would like it to be, which is a classically controlling woman-type thing that women do because they are so self-involved.

Obviously you're really grappling with the profound ethical implications of lying to your wife about taking a mistress, and you're trying to find literally any other solution to just finding a girlfriend and fucking the shit out of her and hoping your wife doesn't find out. That's clearly the very last thing you want. But since you've shown such magnanimous restraint in not doing so, you probably should just do it and see what happens, it'll probably all be totally fine! And if it isn't, eh, idk? Were you supposed to just survive on beejays and handies forever? You tried your very best not to! And that's what will matter most to your children in the end.

#relationships #advice #bad advice #the ethicist #new york times #monogamy #polyamory #ethical non monogamy #just regular dude stuff #the men are fine #the men are very chill #childbirth #parenting #families #relationship advice

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reineydraws · 1 year

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i have a soft spot for fics where billy sort of ends up adopting el and will alongside max. like, these are the kids that get dibs for rides in the camaro haha.

also im unfortunately not participating bc prev commitments but #harringrove for turkey is happening right now if yall want to donate to the earthquake relief funds for turkey & syria and get some art/fic back from harringrove fans! :) check out the tag if you're interested!!

#stranger things #stranger things fanart #billy hargrove #max mayfield #will byers #jane hopper #st eleven #eleven #eleven stranger things #obviously the ones where the party as a whole adopts billy are also very good #but i think it's cute when they end up getting split like this #it's precious when will asks billy for gay advice and maybe has a tiny crush on him #where billy and el bond over bad papas and containing anger and billy learning to find childish innocence again through her eyes #where max finds out about neil and stubbornly decides to get through to billy and when billy starts reaching back that's it.#theyre ride-or-die now.#i like those kinds of fics :') and steve gets the other half and then they co-parent together #billy's all right w the other kids too but whenever i interpret his relationships with lucas & mike #it always comes off more to me as 'these are the significant others of my kids so they are automatically on thin ice'#and with dustin it's always 'this is my boyfriend's little brother'#but will and el and max are billy's directly #i digress!#sometimes i dont post at all and then i post two things in a week! consistency who???

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eponastory · 2 months

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I'm gonna hash out some arguments that don't work here.

Make it make sense.

The colonizer/colonized argument was the first thing that was brought up. If that were the case, then why is Aang willing to accept and be friends with Zuko even though Sozin wiped out the Air Nomads? Why is Sokka friends with Zuko when he experienced the loss of his mother just like Katara? Like... come on, people. Make it make sense.

Then we go into the whole attraction argument... because Zutara shippers apparently don't like that Aang is shorter than Katara.

Height has nothing to do with it (hey, I dated a guy who was shorter than me, we were pretty good together). This argument relies on Katara and Zuko being the most attractive characters in the show... nope. That's not why we ship them. It's literally their personality and disposition that we like. That and Zuko let's Katara be Katara. He doesn't see her as someone who is supposed to be forgiving and at peace. That isn't in her nature either and she doesn't have to make that choice if she doesn't want to. Aang wants her to be forgiving, but that is not his choice to make.

Then, there is the whole childhood trauma argument.

Yes, they both have trauma, but guess what, they both overcome that trauma.

I'll start with Zuko, who not only had a narcissistic sociopath for a father, but had to deal with emotional and physical abuse from said parent. Ozai literally told his own son that he was lucky to be born because he was not the prodigy like Azula. Ozai played favorites (which is something we see Aang do with his kids later on), and that damages a child more than anything. In Book 1, Zuko is trying to please his father and be the heir that Ozai wants him to be. He is frustrated and angry because of this. This is something Zuko overcomes later on in Book 3 when he actually confronts Ozai. It's a really good scene where Zuko addresses the abuse from his father. This is where Zuko starts to heal from that trauma. He let's it go and does the right thing, ultimately learning he was trying to fill a mold his father made for him.

On to Katara's trauma... loss. Loss of a parent. Something that she and Zuko share. However, Zuko does get his mother back in his life (along with another little sister, and I love his relationship with Kiyi). Katara does get closure and is able to accept that killing Yon Rha is not going to bring Kya back. However, she doesn't have to forgive him. It's possible that she believes the man is already suffering for his actions. It's not the best way to deal with it, but for her it is. Katara is very maternal, which is a great aspect of her character. The reason she is like this is because she lost her mother. Her innocence was ripped from her the day Kya died. Her childhood was cut short.

Does this make trauma a facet to a toxic relationship? No. It doesn't. Because they both dealt with their trauma the way they needed to before they could truly become friends. Katara also helped Zuko come to terms with his trauma as well.

So, would Zutara actually work?

Yeah, it would because they have mutual respect for each other. Once they get past the past, they really don't have a problem with communication, boundaries, or expect to hold up an image of each other. Those are the foundation of a good relationship. It's all there. Even if it's 'just friends'.

Kataang, on the other hand... oh boy.

#how to solve your childhood trauma in five easy steps #make it make sense people #bad relationship advice from someone who only sees attraction as a baseline #zutara #katara x zuko

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bitchesgetriches · 8 months

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How Abusive Workplaces Mirror Abusive Relationships

Earlier this year, Piggy and I delivered a speech on the subject of burnout. That there’s an appetite for advice on this subject among women’s professional associations will, perhaps, not shock you?

As I was researching the impact that burnout has on the body, I got an eerie feeling that the symptoms seemed familiar. I wondered if I’d already written something on this topic and forgotten. (We’ve written several hundred articles apiece, so it happens!)

But no! What was tripping my extremely faulty memory triggers wasn’t a past article about burnout.

It was a past article on domestic violence.

Keep reading.

If you liked this article, join our Patreon!

#toxic workplace #career advice #abusive relationships #tw: abuse #tw: domestic abuse #bad bosses

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joy-haver · 2 years

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Throw back Thursday to this chart I made for whether I should date someone or not.

It also works for other types of relationships, but I find that I need to remind myself of it more with romantic relationships so I framed it around that.

#uncaptioned #polyamarous #polyamory #relationship anarchy #relationships #dating #infographic #advice #bad life decision #partners #ethical non monogamy #monogamy #non monogomous #check in #flowchart #checking in with yourself

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ashipiko · 10 months

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NOW INTRODUCING...

—ASHI TAMADAI! ☆

Ashi Tamadai, part of the reborn Terugumi troupe! Often known as the youngest and most excitable member, the 14 year old always comes in with a splash!

TABLE OF CONTENTS—

1. Basic Info

2. Backstory/Introduction Writing

3. Trivia

4. Relationships (More may be added in future!)

5. Gallery

MORE UNDER CUT!

BASIC INFO:

Ashi Tamadai (アシたまだい)

Troupe: Terugumi

Age: 14 (as of year 1 of Terugumi, year 2 of MANKAI)

Height: 157cm

Birthday: June 5

Blood Type: AB

Occupation: 3rd Year at Kazunari’s Junior High (1st Year at Ouka High in Act 3)

Motif rock: Floral Agate

Color: Salmon #FF9175

Hobbies: Drawing, rapping, doing whatever she feels like

Favorite Food: Spam Masubi

Least favorite food: Beans of any kind

Family: Father, Mother, Older Sister (11 Years Older), Older Brother (8 Years Older)

Strengths: Energetic, multitalented, charismatic

Weaknesses: Stubborn, worries too much on if she’s being annoying

CV: Sato Hinata

BACKSTORY:

Ashi’s always been the younger sister. Always at least 8 years younger than her immediate family, babied by all her cousins, and often treated as the youngest in school friend groups. Due to her age, of course. A birthday like June 5th didn’t help, finally catching up to other kids at the end of the school year. Everyone around her was older, and that always set her in the role of the youngest.

It was like tradition. Something you’re unable to break— “Would you mind babysitting Ashi while I’m gone?”, “Are you sure you can stay home by yourself?”, “Here, let me get this for you.”— An unbreakable curse. No matter what she did, how she tried to prove herself, it would just result in her being seen as stupid or incompetent, and she’d be back in the high chair.

It gets old at some point.

One day, she visited her cousin Kazunari Miyoshi, and heard of his debut in the new MANKAI company. Ashi wanted to show all her support to her favorite cousin, of course, so she bought a ticket as soon as she could. She sat in her seat, within in the sea of observers, and didn’t expect much except an outstanding performance. But that play— seeing Kazunari as Aladdin, alongside Tenma Sumeragi as Alibaba— it opened her eyes.

Seeing the star actor, known for his cool roles, acting in a comedy was such a breath of fresh air. Seeing her cousin, who she knew was more that what met the eye, say his thanks to the audience in such a genuine tone...

It helped her realize that acting was a way to escape from your usual persona and try something new. To branch out to different aspects. To be someone other than yourself. A chance to prove that you were more than what met the eye.

Ashi wanted that. More than anything.

Once she left the theater, she immediately started on her new journey. To find people who accepted her for who she truly is, and to see past what she seems to be. To find people who want to know her, to find a group where she feels she really belongs.

She found that auditioning for troupes around her area was the best way to go about it. If Kazunari can do it, why can’t she? So every week she visited a new troupe, giving her best, most dynamic audition to the directors. Sometimes she’d make the cut, but it didn’t matter anyways. Because again and again, she was merely casted as the background comedy character. The one you kill off, laugh over, and don’t bother to think about.

But MANKAI’s Summer Troupe plays helped her through all the failures, and every play and character she admired grew her passion for acting more and more. Seeing every actor’s happy face as they bowed and said heartfelt thanks for their standing ovation only made her dreams more powerful.

One day, she wishes she can become the shining star who blows everyone away.

One day, she wishes she can be something other than just a kid.

One day, she wishes she can prove herself to the world.

“Excuse me, I’d like to audition!”

TRIVIA:

—Ashi’s cousins to Kazunari! She’s the second youngest within her two families, with Futaba trailing behind just a little.

—She’s bilingual, knowing both Japanese and English (due to English being her first, she writes her name in English for her signature, left of her name on the introduction page).

—Ashi was born and raised in North America. However, her mom’s side of the family lived in Japan, so they would visit Japan every Summer for a long period, allowing her keep in touch with both areas. At age 12, she decided to stay in Japan permanently with her brother, who decided to stay for business reasons. She wanted to stay so that she could seek out more theater troupes along Veludo Way. In the story, her family is often mentioned as being overseas, so her older brother acts as her guardian. When she moves into the troupe, he enlists Kazunari to keep an eye on her when he can’t.

—Ashi’s two catchphrases are “Super Hype!/Hypesies!” and “Tehepero!” (referenced to in her doodle, top right of the introduction page).

—Ashi’s a part of a troupe called “Terugumi”, a reborn troupe (much like MANKAI) that’s one of the many acting troupes along Veludo. When the Terugumi story begins, it takes place after Act 2, before Act 3.

—She genuinely can’t stay awake past 12. Ashi becomes a completely different version of herself and loses all her energy, always having to hold onto someone. Kazunari brings up the memory of when they were younger, when Ashi survived off a churro at a theme park, confident she was going to make it till closing, before she passed out an hour before the park closed.

—She’s often the “little sister” with everyone she hangs out with. Ashi mainly hangs out with Kazunari, Tenma, Banri, and Azami. They all see a part of themselves in her, which leads to them getting attached easily.

—In Year 1 of MANKAI, Azami actually saved Ashi from getting jumped when she ended up lost, going the wrong way. Ever since he saved her and simply gave her his name, she always has an eye open for her “knight in shining armor”, asking around for a guy who she calls “Azami, the dark haired cutie”. She eventually gives up once she can’t find him at her junior high, but has a small sliver of hope.

—When she finds Azami again, she immediately wants to befriend him and get to know him, causing them to become fast friends and besties.

—She’s a hopeless romantic (runs in the family!)

—She raps often with Homare and Azami. They have a group chat that they barely use, and every once in a while she pops in to ask for a rhyme.

—Ashi is hilariously bad at freestyle, and runs out of rhymes quickly, but when given a solid set of lyrics she sings them super smooth.

—Ashi uses Kazunari’s nicknames for almost all of the members. The only weird exception is Juza, who she refers to as “Hyodo”. No one knows why, but it’s assumed by most that it’s due to Banri’s influence. She switches between nicknames and not-nicknames for Kazu, Tenten and Azamin. Banri’s the only one who she calls fully by name.

—She’s terrified of Chikage.

—Being called a “kid” is the biggest insult and middle finger you can give her. In her mind, being called a kid is like being called stupid, incompetent, pathetic, and everything in between. She thinks this because it was often used as a derogatory term when growing up.

—Despite being straight, she happens to attract a LOT of girls. She has a fan club a short while after she starts attending Terugumi (which is mostly girls), and girls at school have tried to pursue her at school as well. She dreads having to let them down, and feels like her charisma can be a curse at times. (“Ehh... Sometimes I wish the chocolates I get on V-Day were given by a bunch of guys instead...”)

RELATIONSHIPS (WITH MANKAI):

KAZUNARI

“Ashi, your latest inste post was super adorbs! ♪”

“Thanks Kazu! Learnt all my tricks from the expert~”

From a first glance, the cousin relationship seems more like a twin one, as they’re both excitable inste obsessed artists who can’t stop talking. But overtime, it becomes apparent that Kazunari watches over Ashi with a careful eye— They’re awfully close. It’s due to the fact that Kazunari sees a part of him in his little cousin, when they draw together in his dorm room, or when they have late night talks over the phone. His older brother instincts can’t help but kick in when he interacts with her.

He enjoys watching her grow and experience new things, especially since he can see her so much more now due to them being in local troupes. Kazunari can’t help but get a little overprotective at times, though. She’s his favorite little cuz, after all!

“Kazu! Mind hanging out with me at the mall today?”

“Bet, let’s do it! Hey, it’ll really help with my charming older bro image, don’tcha think?!”

TENMA

“Tenma… Would you mind buying this kpop album for me…? I’ll promise I’ll pay you back!”

“Sigh, what else should I expect from you at this point…”

The relationship between the two cocky O-High kids doesn’t really bloom (get it) until Kazunari mentions a resemblance between the two. At first, Tenma’s insanely confused. How could you compare him, a worldwide actor, to some 14 year old?! It takes a little clearing up to make him nod his head and quietly agree.

Kazunari notes that both of them are people who put up a strong and tough front, but in reality are just a couple of scaredy cat sheltered kids without a good idea of fun. After a couple indirect conversations, Kazunari decides to get them to start hanging out. Tenma at first is absolutely bewildered at her hyperness (more than Natsugumi, somehow) and finds it hard to talk to “kids these days”, and Ashi freaks over hanging with a celeb, but Tenma loosens up after she shares her admiration for the actor.

At some point, Tenma has to agree and say that he does see a little bit of himself in her too. He doesn’t know when— but the initial annoying feeling she gives turns into something sweet. Watching horror movies with her becomes comforting, and hiding in the blankets doesn’t feel so lonely anymore.

”O-Oi, Ashi, who turned off the lights?!”

“I-I dunno! But I’m totally fighting whoever it is! For more banger movies from Tenma Sumeragi to come! COME AT ME!”

BANRI

”Hey Ashi, you think you’re finally old enough to fist fight me?”

“Oh-Ho! You are ON!”

At first meet, Banri calls Ashi a little kid. It ends up in a fistfight in the MANKAI lounge, which has to be broken up by both Natsugumi and Akigumi. A great way to start a friendship, isn’t it?

It’s through riling up Ashi that Banri finds out she’s also a thrill seeker who’s looking for something new. Not to mention, multi-talented, just like him. It’s rare that you ever find a kid like that, and even rarer that you find a kid as fun as Ashi. Through this little banter relationship, Banri starts taking Ashi out to do different activities— Wood carving, arcades, shooting arrows— Anything new in attempts to give them a thrill. It’s through all the challenges that the yells of “YOU SUCK!” turn into laughs, even if insults still trail behind.

It’s refreshing to meet someone with the same struggles who’s willing to solve them with you. Banri doesn’t know when, but at some point it feels like he has two sisters instead of one. And Ashi can’t help but feel like she’s gained another older brother. NEO finally has a secret weapon to rival Taruchi.

“...Ashi, did you notice that Itaru’s streams have been mentioning someone named ‘Lil NEO’?”

“NOOOO! Don’t tell me I have to be associated with you on social media now...!”

AZAMI

“Hey Azamin, I found this unused eyeshadow palette at my house! You think you can use it?”

“Pfft. Is this your way of trying to get me to do your makeup again?”

Azami and Ashi are both the youngest members within their companies, and it’s definitely something they bond over often. They both have issues and hate being referred to as a kid, so during their makeup sessions, where Azami, the pro makeup artist, happily does makeup for Ashi, the pretty one who doesn’t know anything outside of skin care, they often rant and talk about annoyances within their troupes. Ashi finds it comforting that someone’s willing to listen to her seriously, and Azami finds it comforting that there’s someone else who feels the same way as him. Due to this, Ashi often comes by for Azami to test out new makeup products, since she always trusts in him and his magical skills.

Especially when they reconnect a year or two after Azami saves Ashi, Ashi can’t help but admire and fawn over Azami. “You’re so cool, Azamin! You can fight, do makeup, AND slay in every way?! You’re amazing!”, are things she says often. Azami gets a little flustered at how touchy and affectionate she is, but he can’t help but soften up after a while. Hugs are okay. Hugs are good. It feels nice gaining one from someone who looks up to you so much.

Despite their different aesthetics, the two really aren’t that different. As they hang out more and more, walking home from school, hanging out at the dorms, going to cafes, they quickly become best friends and always enjoy each others company. Ah, well, maybe they enjoy each others company a little more than they’d like to admit.

“Azami, your skills are for REAL magic! Like, you’re insane when you’re holding a brush like that...!”

“...Magic, huh? Heh. Thanks, Ashi.”

GALLERY:

#OH MU GOD THIS IS SUCY A LONG POST IM WWWWWWW #SORRY. IM PROBABLY STOLL GONNA ADD MORE TO IT #been rotting over her for the past week #yeah this was all done in a week #maybe less #do you see how bad my brainrots are 😔😔#anyway. Kazunari’s overprotective of Ashi and how other mankai members treat hee #*her #cough cough Taicchan stop eyeing my cousin cough #but when it comes to Azami it’s diff cuz <3 their relationship is diff #and so Frooch goes to him for relationship advice cuz he can’t take bon’s slow burn anymore #🙏🙏 blonde wingmen fr #tho kazu will not shut up when they do get together.#FROOCH FROOCH WE’RE LIKE BASICALLY BLONDE BROTHERS FOR REAL NOW!!!! WW’RE GONNE BE FELATED!!!!!!!#RELATED* ohmy god #but yeah and then Frooch is regretting his life decisions 😔😔#I SHOULD STOP AZASHI RAMBLING IN THE TAGS DEAR GOD #a3!#a3! act addict actors #a3 yume #a3 oc #a3!shi #ashi tamadai #ashi sona #ashipiko draws ♪

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