#at the most im giving it 50

[moriihana]

// vent in tags

#man shit feels meaningless rn #like. i already have zero intention of living a long time #at the most im giving it 50 #but i can't even conceptualise being alive past 35. it doesn't exist. #its just black. there's nothing there. #i don't want to keep going through life the way i am. it's wearing me to the bone and im so close to just #giving up #my health isn't looking great #my trauma isn't going anywhere any time soon #the disability process has me at the end of my rope #shits just bad. it's bad #im obsessively drawing to try to take my mind off of it #but it isn't working #im so tired #im so fucking tired #personal

[dreamlogic]

i keep trying to uninstall gender but society keeps forcing mandatory updates that won't let me completely remove the program from my device, so instead i have to settle for just going into settings and removing all permissions & silencing notifications regularly. wish there was an Opt Out button. this gender shit starting to feel like tumblr live & i just gotta keep snoozing it weekly for the rest of my life

#coming out to new coworkers and the results have been overwhelmingly more positive than my last job! #prev job just. ignored my pronouns & refused to acknowledge my transness at all #present job i got abt 50/50 'oh ok cool' & 'oh ok cool but this is v new to me so please be patient if i mess it up' #there's clearly some people who read me as a cis man and it's v hard for them to think of me as anything else #& i'm like bro i'm just a person with a body don't think too hard about it #anyways in this metaphor the computer keeps defaulting me to male as the closest approximation #and i just have to keep reminding it that my man-shaped camouflage is just a performance #there's no gender underneath it's just me #being he/him'd doesn't make me dysphoric im just like 'yeah i guess that's an easy mistake to make. carry on' #like i did spend 10+ yrs & thousands of $ to ensure when ppl inevitably gender me (as most can't help doing subconsciously) they lean masc #so it's not wrong per se #but it doesn't give me the euphoria/relief/comfort of just. not being gendered at all. #ctxt #meatsuit renno

[princemonday]

what are your guys thoughts on batboys ages?

#in my head...dick is 30 jay is 23 tim is maybe 19/20 and damian is 14 #this is my case.. #dick was 18 when he became nightwing. giving maybe a year of leeway before jay became robin at 12 that would make them 7 years apart #jay died at 15 so again giving like...idk 2/3 years between his death and tim becoming robin at 14 that makes them 3 years apart at most #then damian is canonically 14 #so dick is 30 jay is 23 tim is 19/20 and damian is 14 #im aware that newer canon puts jay and dick a lot closer to 3/4 years apart so dick would be alot younger #but i choose to go off of jason becoming robin at 12 so i can imagine the gen z vs millenial convos between dick and the others #bruce would be around 45 for me...somedays more like 50 #which would make him about 24 when he adopted dick #so....idk #feel free to argue with me #batfam #batfamily #batboys #bruce wayne #batman #dc #nightwing #dick grayson #robin #red hood #jason todd #red robin #tim drake #damian wayne #dc comics #...💌 #...🦇

[idletrait]

Also for anyone who likes raising sims PLAY VOLCANO PRINCESS. I got it for less than £8 since it's on sale and it's got so much content.

*spoiler under cut*

and its got furries 😏 

#volcano princess #raising sim #ive only married some rando and benson so far #only 'critiques' i have is its get real easy if you use any of the boosts they give you #+ many of the romance options are much older than the girl (like pretty sure some are like in their 20s when shes like 14 #but you cant get married until after the timeskip and for most of them they could be the same age as the girl if you ignore canon since not #much would change #i complained here but i basically played my first life with no breaks it was very fun #also ive only got like 50% of the actual story so.. #gonna max out all the stats and then try to do everything basically #k im done rambling just play the game :)

[mihai-florescu]

From the drafts, thoughts about enst. Lalala

You know what Matrix reminds me of? Beasts. Baby's first introduction to experiencing and opposing racism, respectively transphobia. And yet they are unfortunately needed considering the audience (clunky as they are, i'd be happy if they make people reconsider internalized beliefs they hadn't been aware of). The western fandom likes to think themselves superior but im gonna be honest, while the lessons are very much obvious, i still see racist and transphobic remarks even from people who think themselves above it, without even realizing it. Once you deem yourself unable to commit "the worst things morally" you stop questioning your capacity to internalize and perpetuate harmful beliefs. Because "only bad people think or do that" - it is such an incorrect way to view things, morality, life. "Those are things a bad person does and I am good, therefore I can't do it. Also bad people can't have any good traits." is a sentiment all to common seen in online fandom spaces, a result of black and white thinking, that stuns growth and stops discussions rather than solve anything.

At the same time, the writing itself is not above criticism and conversations could and should be had. Ive seen and had some great talks recently. I just wish people would understand the very basic depiction=/=endorsement before jumping in, or that good and bad parts can coexist, and above all, looking at it as a piece of fiction that functions as such (What is it trying to convey? How is it done? Is it effectiv? How? Why? Who is the audience? Rather than a wall of "Well i personally dont like it. so it's bad". Feelings are valid but it's a bit like white noise i'd like to look past into exploring the uncomfortable. Speaking of, I'd like to eventually post some drafts that could be seen as touching uncomfortable topics but it's still scary, it's easy to get misinterpreted). Anyway, i also think a story can't be judged while incomplete. I have been keeping to priv/ my phone notes mostly because i know i can get careless and catty especially under stress. Im curious to see how it's wrapped up and how things will be evolving going forward...

#and i see another parallel in how the writing started superficial/insensitive/stereotypical and then steered into trying to tell- #a more sensible story the more the characters got flashed out #i think this couldve been avoided with a clear direction from the start but alas. you cant expect that with new stories every 2 weeks #about 50 characters no less #there are many things that would be interesting to discuss i just dont trust people and lack the energy to really engage as i used to #unfortunately im not giving up graduating to focus on enstars but because of a worsening mental state #but well i will not pass on an opportunity to comment as an observer of fandom #putting this under a read more its like on one hand i want to talk about things on the other i really really really dont have the energy #to really talk #treat this more as a journal entry #i dont think im saying anything particularly revelational anyway #ive been trying different types of journaling but this is still my most comfortable to write in #i like having tags i think thats mainly it

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Should I pull for Aventurine...

#like i like his character. and i need another shielder bc i only have march. #wait do we have banner confirmation for 2.2 yet? #i only have like. 160 pulls. i want to save enough for hypothetical 5* march 7th and her light cone #ohhhhh i think i will try it. im not going to pity but ill do like 50 pulls at the most #fingers crossed please do not give me a bailu eidolon like acheron did #mb's two am rambling

[storm-of-feathers]

my pharmacy used to let me pick my "pick up date" which i always did a few days in advance to give them time to order stuff bc i know a lot of things are constantly on backorder (for example the adhd medication I haven't gotten since January.) But they recently changed that and now im just putting in orders when i fully know they won't give it to me yet and I'm so worried they're gonna call me a druggie again but also put your fucking website back together goddamn I'm trying to be as helpful as possible

#RITE AID DIDNT TREAT ME LIKE THIS #like a few times this year i couldnt get ambien on time bc it was on backorder #which okay fine fair enough its in the top 50 of most prescribed medication #(which doesnt sound big but trust me it is) #so i started trying to order a few days before the mark when theyd give it to me easily #basically to be like ''hey in a few days im going to need this pls make sure youll have it'' #but now you can only select an asap pickup #pharma side of tumblr explain why walgreens is so fucking terrible

[greenelight]

i   hate   how   this   book   says   his   c***   swelled   or   twitches   like   what   is   this.   is   this   meant   to   be   sexy   ?

#˗ˏˋ ᵃᶜᵗ ᶤ· ﹙ out of character ﹚ ﹕ boba tea refill. #tbd. #& yet im determined to finish it gdi gndgjkndfjkg #the white man in this book gives me the MOST ick #i want to dESTROY HIM #once i read a bit more ill be here #im trying to read 50 books this year & i gotta push through this

[bobmckenzie]

OKAY LAST LOUIS POST FOR TONIGHT I PROMISE (PROBABLY) (I MIGHT BE LYING)

I keep thinking about how cute Louis is in the TRGB episode with his nephew, and how the two of us would probably babysit for him SO often, to the point where he starts to see us more as parental figures than his own parents since they hardly pay any attention to him. but I'm ALSO thinking about how Lawrence probably wouldn't like me at first and would lash out when Louis starts seeing me, bc he's so used to people not paying attention to him and he thinks I'm gonna steal all of Louis' time and attention away 😭😭😭

(this ofc is resolved as he slowly realizes "OHHH this means I'm getting attention from TWO PEOPLE??" and that I care about him :'))

#me about a character who was in ONE episode: im adopting you #i need to draw us doing a bunch of fun things with lawrence UHG I SHOULDVE DRAWN US GOING TO THE PUMPKIN PATCH THIS MONTH WTFHGSDHGF #OR CARVING PUMPKINS TOGETHER HELLO..... #well theres plenty of time to draw us doing general autumn/winter/hanukkah/christmas festivities :D #my hopeless romantic heart cannot handle the holidays in 80s NYC.......... def gonna have to write a louis fic or 50 about it #winter is slowly becoming my fave season simply bc i think it's the most romantic... #needing to be close to someone to get warm. fireplaces. walks in the snow. sharing a scarf. ICE SKATING. holiday lights and decor. baking. #giving someone your hat. warming up their hands with yours. faces flushed from the cold. mistletoe. NEED I GO ON #and also im one of those corny people who thinks a horse-drawn carriage ride through #snowy central park would be like the most romantic thing EVER of all time. and ykw. louis would surprise me with that IK HE WOULD... #(just. not with that one guy who saw him when he was possessed LOL) #caitiechat #louistag

[hershelchocolate]

Girl HELPPP it is so impossible to try to find a place to sell digital art without every single recommendation being redbubble. I KNOW it's the easiest I know I know, I just really do not like the quality of things I've gotten from there and I've heard they've gotten worse with fees 😔 how is a girlie supposed to try to sell art like this?

#that and all the responses im getting from searches is all heres how to sell your original traditional art pieces to real galleries!!! #like. no. thats not what im doing here #i want to sell prints most of all just cause i always love them so much i want to be able to provide them to others #but shirts and stickers and charms and aaaa!!! theyre all so cool! but i cant make them myself!! #everything takes like 50% of the profits too #buddy im trying to make a living off of this ive got student loans coming in a month or so #you cant take half my stuff >:( thats mean #but i must be really bad at looking for things cause im not getting any sites that actually do what i want 😔 #id be okay with giving up everything else if i can just. find a way to sell high quality prints #and i get to keep the fucking MONEYYY #IT SHOULDNT BE THIS HARD WAAAAA #randy rambles

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

#aritalks #i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use #not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before #and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk #but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day! #the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow #also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years #(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years #and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk) #was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!! #i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight #so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday #my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work #my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all #over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins) #but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered #(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting #when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so #just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my #mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19) #so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her #and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too #i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure #out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still #dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not #the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one #if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it #but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help #and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks #just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️

[newtness532]

it's so annoying that coffee places charge you like 3.5-4€ for a cup of tea when you can go buy 20 tea bags for 2.5€

#and im talking about the coffee places that give you the exact same tea bags #and they are obviously bulk buying so they most likely pay even less for the boxes of teabags #like you're seriously charging me 4€ for something that shouldn't even cost .50? #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

[bitchfitch]

for someone with two bad hips and a screwed back i sure do own too many fucking treddle powered contraptions.

#motors are loud and scary and people keep giving me things with treddles #i have a treddling vibe #anyways so far the most important thing in my tool kit for fixing my sewing machine is masking tape. #'youre putting masking tape on treddle sewing machine!?' its a reproduction from the 50s. its crap and i love it. #it is the reason Aetius has golden fur tho i think. I cant remember when i was given it but i suspect the gold sphinxes on it #influenced some things #anyways my friend who gave it to me was Very excited and Positive i needed it bc she mistook the sphinxes for the mythical animal #the city im named after is named after.

[phantompeaches]

Tumblr exclusive drawing because I have no followers here and don't know how I feel about it. Amy Rose Gijinka ♡ ill redraw it better at some point prommie

#right so my entire reasoning for giving her the 50s style dress is her whole thing from SA2 with shadow where they have their Moment #except ive never finished sa2 im really bad at the game so i dont actually know what happens #i also generally dont know much about sonic i learn most my stuff via osmosis and theyre insane about the chaotix so thats all i know #and my parasocial relationship with silver the hedgehog ofc #but i wanted to give her 50s fashion to mirror Maria and they said it was a good idea so im Sticking with it #my art #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose

[necro-hamster]

genuinely insane how my dad will whine and cry about how i don't spend time with him anymore then do everything in his power to make me want to stay far away from him

#kris.txt #during a moment where i literally couldn't leave and he was crying to me about it #i admitted that it's mostly bc he drives me away by being the angriest most sensitive person ever #so im constantly walking on eggshells around him #and therefore just try to avoid being in situations with him #and the best he could give me is Well we all have our issues #like fuck off LMAO #that's not the worst of his issues he's actively mean as fuck to me also #but good god it's one of his more exhausting traits #how are you gonna be 50+ and still throw a tantrum over a minor inconvenience

[cheswirls]

OH that explains why there are no posts in the sabo tag rn

#i hate that tumblr got rid of the post limiter #for how many posts will show in a tag in a day #it gives spammers free reign to do as many as fucking possible #and once more siiiiiiigh if you have someone blocked you will not see their posts but #they will still be in the tag meaning if they have the most +50 recent posts in a row in a tag #you just will not be shown anything which is so!!!!!!!! #aaaaaaaaaaa im gonna scream