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#at least i have to stay up late so i can sleep
luvvixu · 1 day
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mind over matter
synopsis: witness how your marriage was bound to fall apart with you on the front seat and your husband gojo had missed the show—now, he gotta figure out the story on his own.
tags: arrange marriage au, husband!gojo, mean!gojo, mention of blood, miscarriage, strong languages, some unsettling scenarios, emotional trauma, read at your own risk
a/n: y'all, im back after ghosting this page for way too lonh cuz im on my process of taking psychology. yep! this random bitch is up for being a psychologist despite her mental health place amidst the fluctuating status. and you know what's crazy? my sanity is slowly decomposing! all thanks to that one mf and one chapter in which im not going to name about (gege and jjk chapter 261)
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it all started when he started caring for you.
after being inside an arranged marriage for like five years, satoru was confident with himself that he doesn't need a wife to console his woes as he is perfectly capable all by himself.
to say the least, the start of your marriage was a definition of an absolute disaster. clearly, you and satoru were like a magnet in the same pole, it can never collide despite how many efforts you push on both magnets.
from fights, misunderstanding, up to almost divorce after you caught him kissing another girl when you decided to give him a visit during his mission.
you were hurt, yes. but you would always tell yourself that neither of you want this marriage, so being hurt when there's no even love is called invalid. yet, you can't still help it but to feel somewhat jealous because he was supposed to be your husband—but oh well.
your family begged you to stay as it was for the peace of mind and safety of your clan. you snorted sarcastically as you wondered if they ever cared for your personal peace of mind and safety also.
nevertheless, you still stay inside this loveless marriage and maintain the gojo surname. you forgive him even though he's not explaining himself nor asking for your forgiveness.
as for satoru, he's aware that he's being a dick to you. his reason is that this marriage was his least priority as it was a hindrance for him. so basically and truth may hurt, he thinks you're only a hindrance and a distraction from the higher ups.
there were times where he would bury himself with work so he doesn't have to go to his original home and breathe the same air as you.
there were also times where he spent almost two months without seeing you or even communicating with you. it was like you didn't exist in his life nor he doesn't have a wife!
although, he is not that cruel to the point that he would slam the fact in your face. no, he's just leaving his presence until you feel it yourself that he doesn't want you.
his shenanigans would continue for almost a year until that night occurred.
that night when it was your wedding anniversary and he came home very late after fighting some annoying curse. he took a swearing underneath his breath when the stinky smell of curse blood hit his nose.
scrunching up as he was about to proceed to his own room (despite being married, you two sleep in a separate room) to clean up when he saw you up by the garden. you are currently watching how your little seedlings grow into beautiful flowers swaying along the air with a calm look on your face.
your husband broke the silence by asking you what are you doing this late. in which you replied that you couldn't sleep as you slowly looked at him.
satoru watched your face, it did not even flinch with any kind of emotion—nothing, just nothing. you're basically acting like a robot to him, and he hates it.
"i'll prepare a warm bath for you." you mumbled, standing on your feet and was about to leave when he grabbed your arm.
"i heard what happened earlier." satoru said slowly, as if he's being careful on his words which was very out of character for him.
"really? great." detaching from his hold, you left him no chance and instantly left.
"y/n." the man followed you until both of you reached the bathroom. you paid him no attention and just did the usual things you do, prepare him a bath.
"talk to me, please." his tone becomes soft, pleading. turning the water on, you refused to turn around, you refused to make physical contact with him, you refused to let him see the tears brimming in your eyes.
"go on. say what you want to say. i'm listening." you mentally curse yourself for almost stuttering. satoru looked at you, eyes finally unveiling an emotion. he aches to hold you for some reason but to think that he doesn't want to upset you even further, he stops. all he can do is watch you serve him.
"do you want to keep it?" he asked quietly, his ocean blue eyes dropping on your stomach. getting uncomfortable, you tried to hide it.
splash, splash, splash, you did not answer him.
"i said, do you want to keep it?" satoru asked once again. this time, his voice was a bit louder than before.
"i don't know. do you want to?" you asked him back the question, quietly.
your husband went quiet. having a child is not part of your plan but you have to because that's your purpose of marrying him, to bear an heir. now, satoru was asking you nicely if you want to keep it when in the first place, it should happen this way.
"how many months?"
"two."
"and you didn't tell me?"
"do you want to know?"
"of course i want to know. that's literally my child in there." he pointed to your belly with a slight frustration on his face.
you did not say anything back, just continuing your duties as his wife—wife on papers. satoru was growing upset, tired, even angry at you. where was the talkative and fierce look that you have? where's the harshness in your voice? why do you look so vulnerable now?
"you can take a bath now. i'll be downstairs to prepare you dinner."
"y/n, wait—"
*slam*
before satoru could even stop you, you already left, leaving him in all silence. the husband heaves a deep sigh within him as he recollects the events prior to this day. he remembers how he acted when he discovered to ijichi that you went to the hospital and went back home with a pregnancy result in your pocket.
satoru remembers almost getting killed by the special curse when the news caught him totally off guard. you two only have intercourse when both are drunk after coming home from shoko's birthday and that's it. you also told him that you were on pills so he's relieved. but how?
what if—
no, no, no. you wouldn't. you wouldn't do that to him. you are his little loyal wife and even though both of you aren't on good terms, he trusted your loyalty…or was he? were you?
everything was so messed up that he couldn't think of anything even after taking a shower and now he's on his way downstairs to eat dinner. once he was in the kitchen, he saw you almost absentmindedly cutting the vegetables.
satoru took a seat, quietly. he was watching you as your back was facing him. his six eyes weren't dumb to notice how much weight you are slowly losing. unconsciously, satoru was clutching his fists tightly.
"i bought you your favorite milk tea. it's in the fridge, you can drink it later." your voice seemingly dropped him from his daze. satoru looked at you once more, only to find out that you're still not facing him back.
"o…okay, thanks."
minutes later, you place a plate of curry in front of him. satoru noticed that there's only one plate on the table, which was his.
"where's your meal?"
"i already ate." oh right, it was literally midnight now. you should be asleep by now, yet here you are, serving your husband. also, why does it seem like satoru was hoping to eat dinner with you? it is unusual, to be honest.
for your five years of marriage, you two would only eat together for formal matters. but with a simple domestic setting like this, there's no way a peace would occur if the two of you shared a table and a meal.
while he is eating, satoru watches you grab the said milk tea from the fridge and place it in front of him. "just leave the dishes on the sink. i'll wash them later." and with that, you left the dining room.
the food was great, it was very delicious. satoru can't deny that you're great at cooking, and you really have a specialty when it comes to curry like this. but why does this meal taste bitter? perhaps, was it because of the taste of his conscience? he doesn't know.
the six eyes ate in silence. he was planning to talk to you later about everything. but anyway, satoru has been eyeing the milk tea you bought for him. now this wasn't unusual. everytime you would go out, you would always buy him some of his favorites, mostly food.
like there's a time where you bought him his favorite mochi, crepe cakes, churros, ice creams—basically every dessert or food stalls you happened to pass by. it warms his heart, though. there's also a time where he anticipated what kind of sweet delicacy you would give him next.
anyway, satoru finished eating his meal. he was drinking the milk tea you gave to him while searching for you. he saw you sitting on the same spot when he first saw you this evening, by the patio of your garden. silently, satoru took a seat beside you with a mindful distance between you two.
"can we talk?" he started. in which you reply with a soft hum. satoru finds himself gulping, he sets aside his drink first before mimicking your posture—wrapping his arms on his folded legs.
"so um, since there's a baby now…i'd like to discuss this matter with you, properly. i was thinking about…moving you in one of the jujustu high's dorms." satoru nibbles the straw of the sugary drink, absentmindedly.
"it's for safety measures, since i'm not always at home and the risk will be doubled by now. but if you're inside the campus, a lot of sorcerers would be able to protect you." he added.
"okay." you did not even question him or even argue with him, you just simply agree without a second thought.
the man could feel himself gulping, the bitterness increasing despite the sweet liquid he was drinking. he's starting to get uncomfortable the way you are currently acting.
also, come to think of it, you agreed to temporarily live in jujustu high—does that mean you are keeping the baby? satoru couldn't help but to finally ask you.
"d…does that mean—"
"the baby has nothing to do with us. i'm not that cruel to take its life." before satoru could beat you, you already beat him.
"when will i be moving out?"
satoru gulped the growing rare anxiousness down to his throat. "probably next week. give me some time to deliver this news to the higher ups." you just mumbled an okay as your response.
"y/n, are you really sure about this?" the man couldn't really pinpoint your decision. although you made it explicit, he still couldn't comprehend you.
"i'm okay with anything. it's just you who didn't. also, if you are planning to ask me about keeping the child once again, go ask yourself instead. your decision is my decision." you replied.
satoru made a mental note that your voice sounds more tired than before. it kinda ignited something that he was not used to feeling before as literally a man-god himself who's full of pride.
"i'll be resting now. have a good night." he did not stop you, in fact, he thinks it's for the better. satoru could only follow you by his gaze as you enter your own room.
yes, your own room. the two of you did not share the same room. you two couldn't even bear to eat together, what more on sleeping together. this is not what satoru meant when he asked you to talk. but oh well, guess he should also call this a night. with that, satoru retreated to his own room and slept.
fast forward, you moved to jujutsu high and started teaching as a history teacher in a world full of related curses(suggested by satoru) since you're an alumni at this school like your husband. you like that idea too since it's a great way to distract yourself from everything.
currently, you are watching your third year students train themselves along with the second years and the first years. it was quite a good sight since all of them have a nice and strong potential as a sorcerer.
suddenly, one of your husband's students came to you with a big smile on his face. that must be yuuji, the vessel for the infamous king of curses. you always adored him, he's a good kid. but you couldn't help but to be saddened by the fact that he was literally carrying a big burden over his life.
"y/n sensei, good afternoon!" he waved at you before taking a seat nearby you. behind him, you saw his two other friends—your husband's students too.
"oi, you're being too loud." megumi scolded his friend. he was worried that yuuji's loudness was too much for your situation, your pregnancy.
"it's fine, megumi." you just chuckled. "i have some extra chocolate bars here, you three can have it." the trio thanked you happily, while you just smiled in return.
"by the way, we have a question for you, y/n sensei." yuuji said, munching on the chocolate. you asked him to shoot the question but he suddenly hesitated, looking at his two friends for support.
when he received the support he needed, he took a deep breath. "y/n sensei, we were wondering about your husband a-and…" yuuji trailed off. you already know what he meant, so you didn't wait for him any further.
"oh, i suppose you are curious because you haven't seen my husband even though i technically lived here?" the smile still lingers on your face as you watch them nod their heads.
there's something that you forgot to mention to them, they don't know that their teacher is your husband and the father of your child. you were prepared for a situation like this, though.
megumi on the other hand, could've known this beforehand since satoru took care of him during his childhood. then your marriage came through and your husband was already taking care of megumi, but it was kept a secret to everyone—including him.
stroking your six months belly, a recent hobby of yours when you want to seek some comfort. "he was a busy man. most of his job requires being out of town. but he never fails to shower me with love by making sure that we still communicate despite his busy schedule."
"lately, we've barely talked. yet, he promised me that he will finish all of his jobs and tasks before going home to me. probably that's when our child is about to be born." you sigh just to justify this facade.
the students seem to believe your story. although you're quite worried that they might tell this to gojo and your cover will be blown. you planned to talk about this to him, anyway.
"that must've been hard, y/n sensei." nobara mumbles out of sympathy. she was worried for you and your child due to the absence of your husband.
if only they knew that your experience was much harder.
"you could always come to us, y/n sensei. we will not hesitate to help you and your child." beaming brightly as the other two agreed, you really adore yuuji. the amount of softness he gave to you is something that your future child would like to possess.
"thank you, you three. now, you all better go back to training. i will be heading to shoko since i promised to visit her." watching as the three wave their good-byes to you, you couldn't help but to feel an urge to protect them at all cost. probably due to your maternal instinct but whatever, you just hoped they would stay safe.
another fast forward, you are on your way towards shoko's office to spend your free time. knocking softly on her wooden door, shoko opens the door with a smile on her face.
"how's my little mama doing?" she engulfed you with a hug, which you returned warmly.
"good. the morning sickness did not attack me today, thank goodness." you said as you took a seat on her sofa.
shoko also commented that she was happy too. as mentioned before, stroking your six month old baby bump is a must on a daily basis. you are now used with a thought and feeling of a growing child inside you.
"and how're you and dickhead gojo?" shoko changes the topic.
"we were just fine like i have said before."
your friend heave the deepest sigh you've ever known. "just fine? y/n, do you want me to say the like i have said before too?"
"sho, ever since we knew that we're having a baby, we really tried our best to be compatible with each other. but we just couldn't." it's true, on the exact tomorrow of that eventful night wherein gojo discovers your pregnancy, he tried to make it up to you by lessening the sparkling arguments, making sure you are well feeded, and even showering you with things your eyes would have landed on.
you are delighted, of course. even though he absolutely fails his duty as your husband, at least he's trying his best to be a good father for your child. you appreciate him for that and also start to open your heart and pour a little more trust to him.
however, you are not dumb to notice the faint smell of a female's perfume and lipstick stain on his neck whenever he's with you. your heart slowly closes once again and your little more trust shatters.
once you saw yourself crying silently—feeling betrayed and angry for yourself on trusting him shortly after that. guess old habits never die, you are crying about something you've already expected. self-blaming is an understatement for letting your guard absolutely down.
gojo's still a jerk even though you had his baby. i should've expected this. having a baby doesn't mean he's going to change for me.
"we both tried, sho—we both tried. but we just couldn't." your voice dropped its tone once more. you still felt bitter even if it happened way back like two months ago.
"or he just couldn't." she snorted sarcastically.
you both knew she's right, gojo just couldn't. for years of being married, you unfortunately learned how to love a man like him who doesn't even give a one shit about you. tragic. very fucking tragic. if only you could see yourself directly, you would laugh at her nonstop.
"maybe this marriage is meant to be loveless—"
*slam!*
"yo shoko, i need—oh…" the door suddenly bursts open as it reveals your hot issue for today and probably for the rest, your husband gojo. you could tell that he was also surprised (but he shouldn't be) to see you here in shoko's infirmary.
"learn to fucking knock, gojo." shoko hissed at the white haired male.
"oh sorry. am i interrupting something?" he asked, looking at everything but you. he refused to spare you even a small glance, which you kinda do the same.
"you're not. now what do you need?" shoko was the one who answered him.
before gojo could even open his mouth , you already excused yourself. "i'll be taking my leave now. thanks for the check up, shoko." and then you left, leaving shoko and gojo with an awkward silence.
"aren't you going to talk about your business or maybe you want me to kick you out?" shoko sarcastically made a comment.
"right…" satoru cleared up his throat. for some reason, he doesn't know why he's suddenly getting iffy.
"ho…how's the child doing?"
"you have to be fucking kidding me." shoko groaned loudly. somehow, she expected this, but she couldn't believe that she would actually encounter this.
"y/n was just right there moments ago and you didn't even bother to ask her that yourself?!" the doctor could feel herself getting really annoyed. the truth may hurt but she's getting annoyed by the two of you.
fight here, ignore there—ignore there, fight here.
"bet she told you that we're not on good terms even though we really tried to work it out. yet, you're seemingly acting clueless." satoru snorted sarcastically. he's not dumb that you're telling stories to your friend, shoko.
the doctor rolled her eyes. she was this close from smashing his old friend's face to the wall to wake him up and stop being an idiot. "every fucking time, gojo. but that should not be an excuse to not talk to her. you two are still married for god's sake, and now, there's even a child along the way. i can see how much effort y/n has put in your marriage, you must do the same."
"don't you dare to compare her efforts to mine, you know nothing." he growls.
"but i sure know how shitty you are."
something inside satoru snaps. "why are you being angry at me?! you've been like this since we got married. always defending y/n, but what about me?! i have been your friend since highschool and you just met that girl! wouldn't it be unfair to side with someone whom you just met?!"
"you're asking me that when you have six eyes and yet, you can't see how much she suffers from you?!”
“but what about me? am i not suffering too?!”
how did we get here? things are getting pretty out of hand. two friends getting fired up because of a marriage that was about to fall apart. one being inside the marriage while the other one has the eye inside the marriage.
both shoko and gojo have their own sides but it all leads back to one thing, you are involved.
“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage. everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”
“just want, what? end your marriage by divorcing her?”
the moment the last syllables escaped her lips, she already knew the answer.
“fucking gojo.” shoko mumbles under her breath. “if you want to fix your life, you better not act dumb.”
satoru was still caught silent. his wide eyes trailed on the floor and unable to move. shoko saw how she hit the point. sighing over herself, she motioned the door. “get out, gojo. if you're gonna rethink your life choices, do it in your home with your wife.”
and with that, without a word, satoru left her clinic feeling heavy and defeated.
along the hallway, he saw you. satoru saw you looking at him with horror in your eyes—for the first time in one month, you finally looked him in the eyes, but it's filled with fear and tears.
“y/n, i—” just like what he had done before he left shoko's clinic, you left without saying a word.
satoru felt everything become hazy, his knees were trembling, his six eyes were stinging, his lips were turning white on how hard he bites them. the man shuddered in disappointment, you must have heard everything.
his feet act on their own and chases you, holding you by the wrist. but it was torn away immediately after you forcefully snatched it back. while doing so, satoru didn't fail to notice the hot tears streaming on your pale face, in which you immediately wiped it out.
“y/n, i-it’s not what you think. i…” as much as satoru would like you to hear himself, he hasn't gotten the words. he was left stuck by his own thoughts and self-doubt that he puts himself into shame.
meanwhile, you thought you could've just walked away from the scene. but from the moment you hear shoko and satoru exchange heated words, it gets you glued to the floor and unable to move. despite her clinic being semi-soundproof, you hear everything. even if you're not there in the room physically, you seemingly know everything.
“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”
“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”
“y/n,” satoru called your name. his tone was very far from you used to. you grow accustomed to him saying your name venomously, but now it seems like he's saying your name delicately and vulnerable…and satoru hates being vulnerable.
“i know what you're thinking. i accidentally eavesdropped but i didn't t hear everything.” you internally praise yourself for being a great actress. you thank yourself for not stuttering and not sounding so dejected.
but you lied. you're a terrible liar. you heard everything. you heard every single thing that escaped his lips during his argument inside your friend's office. and you feel like dying, his words hurt you so much more than any deadly curses.
“have you eaten already? do you want me to prepare you for a bath?” satoru couldn't understand why the heck you still care for your wife duties when your husband, him, just broke your heart not so long ago?
you're acting absolutely strange in his eyes and he hates it. he hates how you would just bury or bottle your emotions. you're creating a facade and a labyrinth where you keep it by yourself.
“y/n, it's not time for anything. let's just talk please.” you hate it how he sounds like he's begging, but satoru never begs.
“let’s go to my room. let's talk this out—”
“gojo sensei! yaga sensei was looking for y—oh…” yuuji trailed his tracks when he saw you and satoru together.
“dummy! why do you just yell like that?!” megumi bonked his friend's head for interrupting your talk.
wearing your mask again, you smiled at the duo then brushed yourself away from the scene. satoru couldn't stop you any further, you're already away from him.
either way, satoru does the same, he wore his mask just like you. smiling at his students, he let them navigate the way towards yaga and deal with all of his shits so he would have time and talk to you properly this time.
meanwhile, yuuji and megumi were dismissed after they had done their task. nudging his black haired friend, yuuji pointed out things earlier.
“hey, fushiguro. is it just me or did i just see y/n sensei…crying?” he questioned. megumi remained silent because even saw that you were crying—they’re also not dumb to notice the burst energy somewhere inside your body.
“whether she is or not, it's none of our business.” megumi replied.
“i know. but i couldn't help but to feel really worried about her. you know crying can be bad, especially when you're pregnant, that could stress her out.” yuuji surprisingly knows how pregnancy somehow works. but they both know he's right again. they're worried about you and your baby, so they both take a mental note to visit you later.
as you slam the door behind you, a silent sob escapes your lips as you slide your back behind the wooden frame. along with the sound of your cries, was also the sound of your heart breaking.
for some reason, the facade you just put up there early makes you suffocate. it burns your eyes and it makes you shudder in pain. the hyperventilating noise escapes from your lips while you clutch the handful of fabrics of your blouse.
“you don't know how much pressure i take just because of that fucking marriage.”
“everyday that i woke, another constant nagging from these bastards of higher ups. i'm getting so, so tired and i just want to…”
god, that feeling burns! his words keep on burning in your head, engraving the letters piece by piece. those words are not too cruel, it's a little far from what you had heard before. but it came out directly from your husband's mouth, the father of your baby.
maybe, you think you acted this way because of your hormones. but nonetheless, he's like blaming you for all of his misfortunes and that made you recall your past arguments with him before.
it was like a collection of puzzles coming up together, picturing a clear image; you were just a distraction, he wanted nothing to do with you, you were just a burden, he wanted to dissolve this marriage, you would never be his, he wanted to be free from you.
you put your hand on your baby bump, stroking it ever so gently. you swore to yourself that you would never let anyone harm your baby, you would never let this marriage harm your baby, you would never let satoru harm your baby, you never let yourself harm your baby. that's for sure.
because as the clock ticks, time passes. and as the time passes, more tears flow to your cheeks along with blood on your legs.
[part 2 coming soon — ©luvvixu2024]
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samgirl98 · 2 days
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Mending a Family 40/?
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Jason gets Bruce's message. What could be on it? Tim doesn't know how to leave well enough alone
Jason stared at the recorder.
Raven had asked him to meet him somewhere away from Tadoussac but had refused to tell him why. He met her about 200 miles away from the village. It’s a good thing he could fly and fly fast at that.
That’s how Jason ended up in the middle of some random woods while Raven explained what Bruce had done and said to her.
“He seemed to mean it. I didn’t notice any trackers, but I’m no expert. That’s why I asked you to come here instead of me bringing it to you. You can check for trackers. If you want to leave it here, too, that’s fine by me. I already did my job to deliver it to you.”
“Thanks, Raven, you’re the best.”
Raven nodded and then floated into the sky, leaving Jason alone with his thoughts. He kept staring at the little recorder. It looked so innocent, so…unassuming. Jason had no idea how long he had stood in the middle of the woods looking at it, but eventually, he sighed and turned invisible. He floated into the sky and flew toward home.
He had a son to pick up from school, after all.
That night, after everyone else had gone to sleep for the night, Jason couldn’t help but take out the recorder. On it was his father’s words. His voice…What did he have to say to Jason? Was it words of condemnation? Words of disappointment? Did he never want to see Jason again? Was he angry? What did he think of his wayward son? The one who broke every rule he had been taught?
Jason bit his lip.
“Fuck it,” he had to know.  
Jason sucked in a breath at hearing Bruce’s voice.
“Jason, my son. I have to begin with an apology. I was too late to protect you from the Joker, my first mistake. And when you returned to us, I failed again, this time in not embracing you as I should have. When you first appeared before me, I was in denial. My son couldn’t be a murderer. I was…lost. In pain.”
“However, that doesn’t excuse the way I hurt you. I—I should have never thrown that batarang.”
Jason touched the scar on his throat. He suddenly had a hard time breathing.
“I should never have saved the Joker and left you there. It’s true I don’t kill, but I could’ve found a different way to resolve the problem. I pride myself on making plans and being prepared. I should’ve found a different way to settle the stand-off between you, me, and the Joker. Instead…”
Bruce took a deep breath.
“Instead, I hurt you.”
There was such a long pause that Jason thought Bruce had stopped there.
“After discovering about the League of Assassins and the Lazarus Pits, I thought to myself, ‘I’ll let the effects run its course and bring Jason back into the fold slowly.’ Then, I got lost in time, and I came back and found out what you had done while I was gone. I was furious, to say the least. Furious—and disappointed.”
Jason sucked in a breath. This was it. This is when Bruce said how much of a failure Jason was.
“I blame myself again. I failed you. I should have treated you like a son. Instead, I treated you like a threat, an enemy.”
Another deep breath.
“When you started to calm down and kill less and less. When you became less angry…I was an idiot. I should’ve brought you back into the fold. I thought I had all the time in the world. I thought you would’ve stayed close to the family in Gotham, even if apart. I was arrogant. I thought you would come to us instead of having to go to you.”
“I know now that I made a mistake. I should’ve tried to find ways to show that I wanted you back with me. I wanted my son back, but I was hurt. Now, you’re gone, and I have no idea where you are. I understand it isn’t on you; it’s on me for not opening my arms…for ostracizing you from the family.”
“Jason, I will not look for you anymore. You deserve to live how you want to without having to worry about being searched for. Don’t worry, the rest of the family won’t look for you either. I’ll make sure of it.”
“You don’t have to come back if you don’t want to. As much as I miss you and want your back, I respect your decision. Know that I will always be here, waiting with open arms. I love you, my son.”
Jason didn’t notice he was crying until the tears hit the back of his hands. He couldn’t help but rewind the recording, hearing his father tell him the same thing over and over again.
“I love you, my son…I love you, my son…I love you, my son.”
Jason fell asleep to his father’s voice, expressing his love.
____
Bruce stared out of the window from his home office.
Had Jason gotten his message? Would he listen to it?
“What’s got you brooding now, sir?”
Bruce wanted to glare at the butler but knew he couldn’t. It was hard to glare at his father figure…especially since he had been right all along.
“I’m just thinking.”
“Hmm, well, I think you should eat instead of glaring into the sunset.”
“Do you think I did the right thing? Maybe I shouldn’t have sent Jason that recording. I could’ve made things worse.”
“I think you opened the line of communication. Whether Master Jason wants to listen to it is up to him. You did what you could. It’s up to him now.”
“Hmm,” Bruce looked at his phone as another message pinged. His other children had been texting him all day, asking if he was sure he wanted to stop looking for Jason.
No, he wasn’t sure, but he had promised his second eldest he would call off the search. He wanted to keep it. Strangely enough, Tim had not answered him and left him on read. However, he was on a mission, so he might not have time to answer. Bruce put his phone down and sighed.
Now, all he could do was wait and hope.
____
Tim ignored the memo Bruce had sent out. No, he would not stop looking for Jason, especially since he had found him.
“Bruce doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Tim grumbled as he left the airport in Montreal. “Jason needs to return so things can go back as they were.”
Bruce had forgotten that Tim had appointed himself as Bruce’s, Batman’s, caretaker. He took up the mantle of Robin because Bruce needed Robin. He needed his children, all of them. If not, Batman couldn’t be efficient. He would reunite the family, and then Bruce could care for Gotham.
Tim rented a car and pointed toward Jason. He would bring him home.
I think sometimes people forget how feral, unhinged, and obsessive Tim is, and I hope I captured that here. Anyway, he's gonna get a rude awakening soon. By soon I mean next chapter
Also, according to the comments people want Avril to stay enemies with Jason but to have a mutual respect when it comes to books. You're wish is my command
Hope you liked.
@itsberrydreemurstuff @idontgetpaidenoughforthisshit @skulld3mort-1fan @theauthorandtheartist @emergentpanda-blog @jaggedheart11 @fisticuffsatapplebees @booberrylizard @fantasticbluebirdfan @thegatorsgooseoose @cyrwrites @kjoboo91 @crystallicedart @amaramizuki666 @spekulatiusmuffin @meira-3919 @kilasmess @bubblemixer @lexdamo @wonderland-daisy @mj-arts-n-stuff @amyheart19 @dolfay @the-church-grimm @undead-essence @aph-mable @lizisipancardo @purrloin77 @writer-extraodinaire @charlietheepic7 @sinfulloccultist @nootherusernameworked @coruscateselene @chaoticchange @itsberrydreemurstuff @gmkelz11 @feral-bunny31 @paroovian @thatonegaybitch68 @d4ydr34min9 @overtherose @fandomwandererer @vipower001 @thordottir45 @blackrabbitt3t @rosecinnamonbun @bianca-hooks123 @epilepticnerd @dat1angel @consouling @flamingenchiladadragon @all-mights-asscheeks @ender-reader @fuyu-bitch @ravenswife
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This whole working graveyard and being expected to be a functioning adult during the day on my days off got me like
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andi-o-geyser · 1 year
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And the results have just come in, folks. Ally Beardsly has rolled a *checks notes* Hat 20
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lesbiansanemi · 5 months
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Do you think if I wish hard enough my mom will get electrocuted by a string of Christmas lights and just go up in a cloud of smoke. It’d be a Christmas miracle
#I’m not even DOWN THERE YET and I want to fucking KILL HER#I have to work Christmas Eve and the day after Christmas. I live four hours away from my family#I told her this MANY TIMES I said I’ll drive down after work on Christmas Eve be there Christmas morning but I need to leave by 3-4 to get#home at a reasonable hour so I can have time to unpack/catch up on a couple days of chores/get plenty of sleep#she called me last night and told me she didn’t schedule Christmas stuff until SIX PM#and when I said why tf did you do that I’m not staying that late#she got mad and upset and was like ‘it’s the only time everyone is free :(‘#BUT THEN proceeded to tell me we were having lunch with her HUSBAND’S family at noon#(ppl I am not close with never have been literally don’t talk to)#and everyone I know is like ‘just leave when you said you were going to anyways’#and like yeah I could but then my family is gonna be ENRAGED that I didn’t do Christmas stuff with them#and they’re like ‘well explain that your mom didnt listen to when you said you needed to leave’#but the thing is. no matter what. they’re going to take her side#I should sacrifice my time and comfort to spend time with them because they’re FAMILY#never mind that literally not a SINGLE ONE OF THEM has EVER come up to visit me#IM always expected to drive down there. but that sacrifice doesn’t count it’s not good enough#but if I stay that late I won’t be getting home until AT LEAST midnight or later#cuz my family has no fucking concept of time so if it starts at six that means it doesn’t ACTUALLY start until 7 so most of them might be#there by 8 so I’ll be expected to stay until at least 10 to sufficiently catch up with all of them#I’m going to scream I’m going to cry#if I leave early I’m the awful ungrateful terrible bitch who never comes to see any of them#but none of them could adjust their days by just a few hours to see me before I needed to leave#FOR MY FUCKING JOB !!!!!!!! SOMETHING COMPLETELY OUT OF MY CONTROL#and like the thing is. my piece of shit manipulative bitch mother#I KNOW she did this on purpose#I know she didn’t plan this until six to FORCE me to stay longer because she was mad I wasn’t staying long#(again… because of work… something I can’t control)#so she’s orchestrated this to put me in this position#where I have to suck it up and stay and be exhausted and have tired migraines for a week cuz I get only a couple hours of sleep and then#or leave and make everyone pissed. I hate her so FUCKING much
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arionawrites · 3 months
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1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!
2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr
3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!
overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!
#aritalks#i did cry a little bit when i first woke up because i dont really know what to do about work and also i hate not having a car i can use#not only because of the work aspect but also getting my license when i was 18 gave me a freedom i didn’t have before#and i don’t like having to rely on other people just to like go to the fucking store or something yk#but then my best friend/roommate messaged me happy birthday and i was like fuck it! today is going to be a good day!#the stressful uncertainties can wait until tomorrow#also one of my best friends who hasn’t said happy birthday to me the past two years#(not intentionally im p sure they were just busy on my birthdays the past two years#and then had that moment of ‘oh shit i didnt send a message fuck i think its too late now’ which i totally get bc anxiety things yk)#was one of the first people to message me happy birthday!!#i’m also hoping to still be able to go see my mom and then stay the night at my dads tonight#so i can see both my parents and also my baby siblings for my birthday#my dads working today but after he texted happy birthday i sent him a text asking if he thinks we could still make it work#my mom is asleep still i think (she called me at midnight and left a voicemail singing happy birthday!! but her sleep schedule has been all#over the place recently so i’m waiting until 11:30 to call her which is in like 30 mins)#but she said something yesterday about driving out to me to give me a hug and also bring me my diabetes stuff that got delivered#(her house is my mailing address because i know it’s not going to change bc it’s my great grandparents house that she’s partially inhereting#when my great grandpa dies but since i have moved out of my dads my address has changed twice and i didnt have a mailbox at my last place so#just for the sake of consistency and not having to worry about important shit getting sent to the wrong address i’ve had her house as my#mailing address since i moved out of my dads at 19)#so i think i’m gonna ask her if she can just pick me up instead so i can go to her house w her and hang out with her#and hopefully my dad will be able to at least stop by with my siblings so i can see them too#i’d like to stay the night with them but if we can’t make it happen then i can also stay the night w my mom and hopefully tomorrow figure#out the car situation. might have to rent a car for a week if i can afford it? best case scenario is my moms car can be fixed but i still#dont know whats wrong with it ik there are two potential problems and one is fixable the other is not#the fixable one would cost like $150-$400 to fix depending on if we get a used part or a new one#if its $150-$200 ish i can probably afford to pay for the whole thing or at least most of it#but if its more than that hopefully my dad or one of my family members can help#and i can just pay them back in like $50 increments with my next few paychecks#just realized i said i wouldnt worry abt the car thing today and also i think im at tag limit to i’ll stop now lmao xoxo gossip girl ❤️
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mattodore · 9 months
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just woke up from a dream in which theo and matthias were in baldur's gate nobody move
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altruistic-meme · 3 months
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i want to get started on the Full Hands List but i am waiting on my apartment people for scheduled maintenance and i don't really want to start until they leave but i also have no idea what time they'll make it to my apartment so we're just playing the waiting game now
#at my old apartment i was one of the first to get the maintenance bc my apartment number was just higher on the list#so it was usually around 10-11am#but im much further down now and idk how long it'll take#this isn't my FIRST TIME having the preventative maintenance in this apartment but the last times i just went to bed and got woken up#when they knocked#bc i was still on nights and i had no idea how long it'd be and didnt want to stay awake#and i did NOT check the time when they finally arrived#i just let them in and waited until they left so i could go back to sleep lmao#so#we'll see ig#I'm also splitting this into 3 days instead of don't all 3 seasons at once ill do a season a day#largely bc of time in general and how it's like. 12 hours of show.#and im be starting late today bc of *gestures at post*#but also it's going to be LONGER cus i have to pause every time hands shown up so i can note the timestamp#which ofc makes the whole process much. MUCH longer as seen with s3's preliminary run lmao#ough#I'm talking so much jdfjjsjd#also just my attebtion span is NOT great and i need to actually be WATCHING THE SCREEN THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME#and can't be checking my phone or anything#cus ill miss shots!!!!#i missed at least 2 on my og s1+s2 list and im sure i missed others#i also have to decide how to count the montages#cus there'll be like 2 shots of hands immediately one after the other in the montages#sigh#......... I'll probably count them separately. just for accurate numbers.#which ofc means that ALL of my bonus aren't QUITE right rn cuts ik i lumped montages together#lmao#oh this will be so much fun#shh ac#young royals
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none-ofthisnonsense · 6 months
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People refusing to make an effort when you're making one specifically for them is argh
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hellfireeddiemunson · 6 months
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i should really just go to sleep but i don’t want toooooo i don’t want to wake up and go to work 😭😭😭😭😭
#i wish i could have a month off of work no consequences and i still got money for it i just wanna be able to do whatever i want and have#free time and i don’t want to have to work this kuchhhhh i’m sick of it and i’m SO TIRED IN THE MORNING it makes it absolute HELL to try to#get to work on time i’m late every single day and have been for MONTHS bc my schedule is exhausting for someone who can’t keep a consistent#and GOOD sleep schedule i just wanna stay up late sometimes and sleep early other times but i work the same time all of the time so i’m just#running off not enough sleep EVER and have to take naps if i even CAN and then that in turn fucks up the time i’ll sleep after that#like i literally CANNOT win here i don’t get what i’m supposed to do i don’t want to do it anymore dude#i wish at. LEAST i could go in like a half an hour later i genuinely think i wouldn’t be late everday but waking up between 6-7 is HARD and#the earlier i wake up the more time i need to try to be awake but the later i wake up the more i scramble and fight to try and get ready#fast enough like even THAT i can’t get down right !!!!!! i just want to be able to go to work on time and not have anxiety about it everyday#my boss clearly doesn’t care enough and that’s fine i should be relieved to know she just cares that i show up and do my shift but like i#just don’t know dude i’m just going on and on and i need to shut up#i’m going to smoke and go to bed soon i guess???? idk i’ll be on here til i do tho
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fruitsyrups · 1 year
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if i wore a bib I wouldn't get food on it but it would be drenched in water. i am always spilling water on myself. i go to drink and then i spill water on my collar and its fine. this is just what life is like.
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martsonmars · 1 year
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desperately trying not to have a panic attack about university hehehe
#literally the only thing i'm supposed to do is study#am i doing it? nope of course. i have less than a month left to take exams and i should take at least 2 but i haven't opened a book in more#than a month and the thought fills me with dread and i literally physically cannot do it#it's possible that going back to my uni flat would help (it would be a change in scenery for sure) but on wednesday it will be a year since#my father died and there's this fucking church thing and my mother won't force me to stay but i really should. shouldn't i?#after all it's already saturday and i've already wasted 40 days. what's half a week more?#i keep staring at the list of exams and i know that if i spent every waking second studying i could get back on track and graduate when i'm#supposed to graduate but 1. it's not healthy and 2. my brain refuses to study for ONE exam let alone 14 so it's unrealistic#and at this point i should just accept that i'm going to graduate one year late and one year after all my friends because last year i did#absolutely nothing. and last autumn started out great. i moved. i was organised. and then the first week of october my mother was at the#hospital and i had to go home for a week and somehow i let that week screw up my entire semester#and now i'm panicking because i have only 18 days before the exam i'm supposed to take and it doesn't feel enough for everything i have to#study but it's not going to get better if i just let all the days pass without doing anything but i can't i can't i can't#so yeah i should be kind to myself and accept i'll need one additional year for all the exams and take it slowly which is the only way to#actually get things done. but i don't want to. i don't want to tell my mother that i failed at the one thing i'm supposed to be doing#but i really really can't it's hard and i'm failing and my head is screaming that i don't deserve hobbies and yet i keep wasting my days#it's one am and i should either sleep or relax because it's not like i can do anything now and yet i feel like i need to fix my entire life#right this second or i'll explode. i'm so tired of my thoughts.#please ignore all this ^ because i know most of it is irrational or whatever and i DON'T WANT to hear rational things#if you've read until here and really want to say something just tell me that right now i'm allowed to relax#any other comment would make me feel worse#💖💖💖#**one month left to take exams this semester not forever hahaha but then i'd be supposed to take all the remaining exams in the summer#and i can't possibly take 14 exams between now and july which is why i'm panicking (there are other logistically confusing things in what i#said but i wanted to clear this one up at least lmao) (i'm already feeling vaguely better can't you see?)
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captain-amadeus · 9 months
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Naps are so cool they take naps all the time put blankets and pillows on the floor and snuggle together and doze off and one of them wakes up before the other and slides their hand through their hair and holds the others hand like a slumber party
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tafadhali · 10 months
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I’m so fucking stupid that I automatically said someone could use part of Masculine Women Feminine Men in something because (a) I’m helpful to a fault, (b) I made the vid to be educational and I know the sources in it are hard to find, and (c) I assume everyone in my audience is like a queer fannish Film History professor or something even though, from reading the comments, that is demonstrably not true
As soon as I said sure I was immediately like “WAIT, Taf, this is YOUTUBE, why did you say SURE” but of course they’ve already posted their hideous transphobic qanon trash and linked back to me so truly just kill me
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ribbonzregretz · 10 months
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i can physically feel myself decay, i can tell that my bad habits are catching up, i can feel myself grow more and more sluggish by the day, i feel irritable and less and less hungry and less and less inclined to move, i can feel myself turn into a corpse, i can tell its coming soon, soon.
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jrueships · 11 months
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I HAVE TO GO ON A LONG CAR TRIP WITH FRIENDS MY LOVED ONES AND I WOULD BE SO HAPPY EXCEPT THE VOICES AHHHHHHHHHHH
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