#at her hottest(and i do think she looked really hot i cannot stress this enough truly) marcille is still not like...There. shes there.

[pcktknife]

generally I just don't think elves are all that hot. like they look nice, yes. but there's just a certain vibe you gotta have to reach the level of being hot and elves never really get there in a way thats 100% 'mhm that's hot'. they're like really pretty antique vases nice to look at and admire for a lil bit but I mean im not gonna fuck the vase.

#kae.txt #at her hottest(and i do think she looked really hot i cannot stress this enough truly) marcille is still not like...There. shes there. #but not There. maybe if i give if some thought but in gen dont really get the appeal of elves #but y'know what...i also dont know that many elves personally i got 2 big names on my roster so idk maybe i just havent found the baddest #bitch of em all yet

[teaberrii]

Relief

You get much more than you bargained for when you visit the newest doctor in town.

Baizhu/You

Warnings: Smut

Notes: Cross-posted on Ao3

This idea came to me so suddenly and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. So... HERE IT IS.

You are never a fan of visiting the doctor.

But after telling your friend about how bad your insomnia is getting, she “strongly recommends” you see the newest and, apparently, hottest doctor in town. You’ve heard about him. Tall. Mysterious. Handsome. Skilled. You raise an eyebrow at how she described him. He sounds like a male lead who walked out of a romance or erotic novel... and you cannot deny your curiosity. So, even though you always dread visiting the doctor’s office because of past experiences, you ultimately decide to try and see if this doctor is really as good and hot as everyone says.

As soon as you walk inside the clinic for your appointment, something about it already makes you feel at ease. Perhaps it’s the cool, calm colours of the wall. Or the soft hum of the music. Whatever it is, you’re not regretting it… so far.

“Hello.” A woman around your height walks up to you. “Do you have an appointment?”

“Yes.” Then, you give her your name.

She smiles. “Right this way.”

You follow the woman to a room at the back. She opens the door, and you see a man sitting at a desk. When he spins around, you meet a pair of snake-like eyes. He has a relaxed demeanour, something not too different from what you're expecting. Yet, despite his kind smile that unexpectedly makes your heart race, something about him feels off, and you don’t know why.

“Hello,” he says. Great. Even his voice is dripping like honey. He gestures for you to sit on the patient's bed. “Take a seat.”

As you do, the woman closes the door, and your hands start fiddling with each other. “Are you nervous?” he asks, eyes on your hands.

“Oh, um”—you stop fidgeting—“it’s a habit,” you say quietly.

“Don’t be nervous,” he chuckles. Then, he looks you in the eyes. “I won’t bite.”

His eyes are so entrancing that you forget to speak.

“So, what seems to be the problem today?”

His voice snaps you back, and you say, “I’m having trouble sleeping at night.”

“Is it stress, perhaps?”

“Well…” Your eyes land on a corner of the room.

“There are many reasons for insomnia, my dear.”

That’s a nickname you never imagined he would say.

“Stress… a poor environment… depression… have you talked to anyone else before me?”

You slowly look back and see him staring at you with that gentle smile. “No,” you say quietly. “But I’ve been looking things up online and trying different remedies, but nothing seems to work.”

“I see… What have you tried?”

So, you tell him about making tea, switching sleeping environments, changing your sleep schedule, and drinking less. But nothing has worked.

“Would you mind telling me when and how long your insomnia has been happening?”

You aren't surprised he asked this, but you wish he didn't. Well, at least you came prepared to answer the question.

"Um, well… I've been stressed lately. Both in my personal and professional life. And, I think it started when"—your face turns slightly red—"when I can't find pleasure in sex anymore." You're relieved when his expression doesn't change. Rather, he looks even more focused than before. "That has always relieved my stress and helped me sleep. But now it's just… frustrating."

“Did you have a partner?”

“My ex-boyfriend,” you say quietly.

“...I’d like to try something if you don’t mind.” You look at him curiously. “It’s a type of sensual massage.”

Did he just say… sensual massage? This is not what you signed up for. Rather, you’re expecting a doctor’s note for some medicine you probably never heard of.

“You… aren’t going to give me some weird medicine?”

He chuckles softly. “I could if that’s what you want. But my medicine tends to be quite bitter. Bitter than most. And”—he steps toward you and slightly leans forward—“I’d rather try something sweet on you.”

His low voice sends a delicious shiver down your spine. Good Lord. It’s only been fifteen minutes, and you’ve told this man more than you told your friend in weeks. You swallow thickly, your curiosity once again getting the best of you.

Then, before you can stop yourself, you say, “...Okay.”

"Of course, you're free to stop me whenever you feel uncomfortable," he reassures.

He grabs another pillow and gestures for you to lie on the bed. Once your head hits the pillow, you have one underneath your back. He puts one hand beside your head, and with that gentle, charming smile, he says, “Bend your knees, my dear.” You do so. Then, in a low whisper, “Now… open your legs for me.”

You can hear your heart hammering in your chest. Is it fear? Excitement? You can’t tell anymore. Your emotions are spinning round and round as he dims the lights. You hear his quiet footsteps approach you and feel the gentle touch of his hand brush your hair out of your face.

He moves behind you, and you close your eyes and hear him softly say, “Breathe in…” You do. “And out…” You do. "Now... close your eyes"—he once again watches you do as you're told—"and just feel."

His hands start warming up your shoulders and up to your neck. Your body is already relaxing despite the absurdity of the situation. It doesn't take long for him to move down, and you hear his footsteps beside you. You open your eyes and see he's looking at you, but his eyes are surprisingly… dark compared to the gold rim of his glasses. When his hand finds a clothed breast, you arch into his touch, getting lost in the way his fingers dance, knead, and pressure your bosom. The soft, breathy moan you let escape from those soft lips is everything he needs to hear.

You feel his other hand slide underneath your shirt. Slowly, he moves his hand up, the cool touch of his fingers sending a tingling shockwave throughout your hot body. He brings your shirt along until your bra is fully exposed in front of him. Your face grows warm, but the dark look in his eyes doesn’t change.

Instead, he leans over and asks, "May I, my dear?" As soon as you nod, he unclasps your bra from the front and puts it aside. Then, in a low voice, “You look absolutely beautiful.”

Your blush worsens when he cups your breasts in his hands and slowly moves his thumbs in opposite directions… until one of his hands gently squeezes a nipple while the other continues its gentle caress.

“Ah…” you sigh.

As he uses the pad of his thumb to circle a hardened nipple, he leans forward.

“How do you usually like it, my dear?” he asks lowly. “Soft? Or…” One hand suddenly gets needy… rough… as he squeezes…

“O-oh!”

…and fondles…

“Nngh…A-ah…!”

…like no one has before.

You feel something wet and see his tongue has replaced one of his hands. He looks up at you, his gaze almost daring you to tell him to stop. But that lustful look in your eyes is everything he needs to know. Your body arches as his tongue work wonders on your bosom.

Then, your eyes widen when you feel his hand massaging your inner thigh. A squeeze... and another... until he uses the heel of his hand to gently apply light, smooth strokes toward your pelvis. He stands upright and smiles at you as if admiring your flushed face.

As soon as you feel the pad of his thumb encircling your clothed sex, you gasp. He leans closer and closer until his face is inches from yours.

“I want you to do me a favour, my dear,” he says quietly. You allow him to take one of your hands and put it over a breast. “Touch yourself as I kiss you.”

It's then your lips are no longer yours. One kiss after another leaves you craving more… and more. You're glad you're lying down as you're sure your knees would give from the greedy, hungry kisses that show you're a woman to be desired, something your ex-boyfriend has never shown you before. As you fondle yourself while feeling the warm caress of his tongue, your other hand weaves its way into his hair, holding him in place. He gradually applies pressure on your sex, and you instinctively roll your hips into his touch.

More. You need more.

He stops kissing you as if reading your mind, and his lips curve into a slight smirk. You watch him move to stand in front of your open legs. He pulls off your bottoms, including your underwear. You hold your breath as he slowly massages your stomach and moves down until he's about to reach your sex.

You watch him oil his hands. Then, he starts with the outer lips, squeezing them gently with his thumb and index finger. You sigh in satisfaction when he moves to the inner lips and rubs them with his fingers.

As soon as he looks at you, you know he's taking it a step further.

“How do you want to be touched, my dear?” he asks. “Directly…?”

"Mmpth…" you sigh as he gently holds your clit. Then, he gives it a gentle tug, and you gasp.

“Or… indirectly?”

When you feel the tip of his finger circling your clit, your breathing turns heavy.

Clockwise.

“Ah…”

Counterclockwise.

You exhale deeply.

He goes harder.

“O-oh… yes…”

Slower.

“M-more,” you whimper.

He chuckles. “My… my dear. You’re so wet.” His dark gaze flashes toward you. “That’s a good sign.”

Slowly, he slides his middle finger inside and lightly pressures your walls at different points. As it gradually increases, you bite your bottom lip.

He smiles. “You’re too quiet. Should we fix that?”

He gently slides in his index finger and moves them in a come-hither motion at the top of your walls. Then, he applies more and more pressure until he moves his hand and arm up and down.

You've never been stimulated like this before. This feeling is as if your entire body is on fire. Then, feeling his lips on your inner thigh, you gasp and arch your body off the bed once more.

"Relax," he says softly, using his other hand to guide your body back down. "Just listen to my voice…." He flashes you a heated look as he continues working his fingers on your G-spot. "Do you know how hot you look right now, my dear? Face red… mouth open… eyes in a trance…" He slowly kisses further up your thigh. "It makes me want you… so. Fucking. Bad."

He suddenly applies so much pressure that you come on the spot. A long, loud moan leaves your lips as your sex releases the pent-up pleasure that almost feels foreign. Your body is still coming down from the high when he leans over and puts his hand over your heart.

“How do you feel now, my dear?”

You can’t find the words. You can only look at him as realization dawns upon you what had just happened. “I…”

He puts his finger on your lips. "Would you like me to show you how you made me feel?"

You allow his mouth to take you. Slow. Sensual. All those emotions you felt a moment ago come flooding back from this one kiss that feels so right that it proves every other kiss you had is wrong.

Then, he breaks away too fast, too soon. His gentle smile returns. “I hope you sleep better now, love.”

As he fully leans upright, you’re still lost in your emotions on how one visit to the doctor’s office has made you feel so wrong, so right all at once.

Tag list: @lxry-chxn @lordbugs @suoshiii @seirenspinel

#baizhu smut #baizhu x reader #baizhu x you #baizhu #genshin baizhu #baizhu x yn #baizhu x y/n #genshin impact baizhu

[sh1-n0bu]

Ayo heard you want horny brainrots well I (🦝) have been summoned.

I don't know what your preferences are. Men, women, both, neither but personally I would fuck just about anything that is off age and willing so that being said

I absolutely adore Beidou. She is so fucking hot. She's powerful, strong willed, breathtakingly gorgeous and overall just step on me, captain I am actually begging. On top of that, she wields a claymore, the back amd shoulder muscle she must have? On God?? Yes, MA'AM.

Realistically she probably has a bunch of scars and a sun tan and overall I think Beidou might be the hottest woman in all of Genshin. Genshin has many hot women but no one surpasses her. My queen. My goddess. My love. My main since day ONE. (that's a lie but she was in fact the forst character I pulled)

Alright I'm going to take my brain and wring it out like a wet towel to give you some more asks. Cya in the next one

✿ 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙢𝙮 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙚 ♡︎

characters: beidou x gn! reader

warnings: fluff, angst, there will be nsfw but it’s not as wild as my other posts, both reader and beidou are switch, cute domestic shits, kazuha being y’alls adopted son (kinda)

notes: 🦝anon, my beloved, i have already made it clear that i’m a raging bisexual so yes, women♥️. women, men, sexy human look alike puppets with god and inferiority complex, idc gimme them all! went with head cannons format with this one i hope you don’t mind. also i’m so sorry my beloved 🦝 anon, i took so long to answer😭😭

aahhh yes beidou

i’m pretty sure everyone took one look at her and went “i’m sat”

and yes 🦝 anon she would have the muscles, sun tan i mean come on she stays out in the sea for as long as she wants, scars and damn did i mention muscles whew it’s getting hot in here

absolutely would spoil tf out of you

jewels, foods, all kinds of trinkets from the places she’s been to before

and if you were to talk it out with her and won’t get seasick easily, she won’t hesitate to ask you to come with her on her ship alongside the crux

after basically adopting kazuha, you two would almost become his pseudo parents in a sense

beidou is the fun carefree mom while you are the parent that frets over him as if he’s a baby

and everytime she sees you scolding kazuha over the smallest of things such as scratching his pretty face she won’t hesitate to tease you in all kinds of ways

general nicknames would be “darling” “your highness”(teasingly) “my treasure”

“[NAME]! MY TREASURE! GUESS WHO CLAPPED THE BIG NOBUSHI GUYS’ ASSES BAREHANDED!”

“OH MY ARCHONS BEIDOU YOU’RE BLEEDING!!!”

if you were to ever kiss her scars or wounds while treating her she would just melt

“ahaha… oh darling, what did i ever do to deserve you?”

due to her past of being hated by the village she was taken in, sometimes beidou would have a very horrific and detailed nightmares or thoughts of you leaving her because she is ‘cursed’

would hate to burden you but will gently stir you awake to ask for cuddles and kisses

“i-i’m sorry, treasure. i-i just… please? hold me?”

please don’t degrade her even as a joke

since you’re someone so dear to her heart, even if she were to laugh it off as a joke on the outside, she would be thinking all sorts of bad thoughts on the inside

i feel like she would give the best hugs and piggyback rides

if you’re both walking around and you’re getting tired or wounded, she won’t hesitate to squat down in front you or carry you bridal style

is so so incredibly gentle with you

she knows she’s strong, she knows she’s powerful i mean she struck down haishan, the leviathan while visionless

and due to that knowledge she’s afraid she might accidentally hurt you in some way, even when she knows you’re not some fragile doll

i can’t really see her being a sub honestly

i feel like she would be either a switch or a soft dom

is into face-sitting and i cannot stress this enough

whether it’s you sitting on her face with your juices gushing and squelching, your legs trembling to hold yourself up she won’t stop until she’s satisfied

“shh it’s okay darlin’ you’re doing sooo good. come on sit on my face, i wouldn’t mind and you know that”

or her sitting on your face as she grinds her slicky pussy into your mouth while moaning and calling you a good girl/boy as she grips your hair

it doesn’t matter which one it is, she’ll take it

will overstimulate you but in the gentlest way you get what i’m saying?

“aww there there. come on you can cum again. you can cum again right darlin’? yes you can treasure. come on cum for me. you can do it”

or it’s you absolutely worshipping every inch of her body

“haaangg~ oh yes, that’s it. keep mmggff! keep going. ah yeah, you’re making me feel so good treasure~”

sex with her would generally be very soft, slow and filled with praises

aftercare would be you two cuddling together after cleaning each other up and just talking of small topics like today’s weather, the next destination, which destination to go to next etc etc

just,,,, beidou🥹🫶

#nobu.writes #beidou x reader #beidou x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x reader angst #beidou smut #genshin smut #switch reader #🦝 anon

[carpisuns]

maryssa please post all of your marichat hot takes i need them for health reasons

please handle these absolutely scalding takes with care, miss mcwizzy. dont want u to hurt urself. also there are a lot of them so double warning aljsfasjldf

Carpisuns's Hot Marichat Takes That No One Asked For

omg WAIT.... for once someone actually DID ask for them SLKJFDJ ok scratch that

Carpisuns's Super Hot Marichat Takes That, Surprisingly, Someone Did Actually Ask For!! (And Will Probably Regret Asking for as Soon as They Click the Read More djdjdkdm)

marichat tropes are not any more tired/cringey than tropes for any other side of the square. like, what is the real difference between “princess” and “my lady” or a balcony date and a rooftop date lol. they’re all cute and also all have the potential to be overdone fjlaksdlj

the bell is immovable :) zipper is just for show

“chat noir” and “marinette” are not their “true selves.” and “adrien” and “ladybug” are not false/inauthentic versions of themselves. they are themselves all the time, but like any human their behavior changes depending on the situation. there isn’t like a separate list of “chat noir” traits and “adrien” traits or “marinette” traits and “ladybug” traits—all of their traits belong to them at all times whether they are suited up or not, and they are more than just the sum of their parts. they tend to be pretty comfortable interacting as marichat NOT because “they can finally show the real them” but because they both already know each other in another dynamic and there are no crushes or past rejections adding any pressure or uneasiness

marichat is not inherently sexist. yes, adrien wants to protect marinette, but that's not sexism; that's called being a caring friend. and marinette giving comfort to chat noir is not automatically playing into sexist gender roles. that is also being a caring friend. like in any good relationship, there is a healthy give and take. they protect and support and comfort each other. this how it is on all the sides which is why the love square is so great!

on a related note, there is no unhealthy power dynamic between marinette and chat noir. he doesn't think he's better than her because he's a superhero and she's "just a civilian"; he values her intelligence, creativity, skill, talent, strength, and leadership and would never consider her weak or look down on her in any way. and i wouldn’t really consider either of them the “leader” in this dynamic. outside of an active akuma situation they’re on pretty equal ground and i mean what is the power dynamic of two friends chillin’ lol

they take turns being the big/little spoon C:

marinette is not mad that chat likes her as “perfect ladybug” and not as “weak, clumsy marinette.” she has moments of insecurity when she is stressed but in general she has a pretty strong self-esteem and does not seek out or depend on chat noir’s affection for validation

stanning marichat does not mean hating ladrien!! ladrien is a dang good ship and if u don’t like it it then there is something sadly lacking in your understanding/appreciation of the love square—including marichat. also you are depriving yourself of something truly wonderful :(((

same if u hate marichat. most people have a favorite side of the square and that’s a-okay! but i fail to see how you can be a love square stan or a stan of any one side if you don’t enjoy and support all the other sides as well ??

ok but seriously for the love of everything please stop commenting on ladrien fics/art just to say “ladrien sucks, marichat supremacy!!1!!” -_- fun fact that actually makes everyone hate marichat/marichat stans lol and as a marichat stan myself i find the association with that toxicity very exhausting and frustrating !!

marichat is a slowburn friends-to-lovers ship. so if there is no slowburn or u skip friends and go straight to lovers then that is a different dynamic than what is presented in the show. i mean you can call it marichat because it still involves marinette and chat noir but i would not consider it like Official Brand™️ marichat tbh. i don’t wanna sound gatekeepery but also. that is my hot take lol

they’re not sexy,, they’re just very stupid and soft. i am continually confused and frustrated by the fact that marichat is still branded the Sin Ship™️ when canonically they could barely look each other in the eye after doing the traditional cheek kiss greeting lmao

yes there is Bad marichat out there that plays into the things i talked about above but there is also a lot of Good marichat and it is really not that hard to find. so when people say “i like canon marichat but i hate fanon marichat” i just like. don’t really know what that means? lol. like, you hate...all fan-created marichat content ? i assume you just dislike the Sin Ship and the true selves trope and whatnot but there is a lot more than that ?? and it’s sad to see it all get lumped together with the not-so-great stuff and branded Bad Fanon: Do Not Eat lol

marichat cannot exist in isolation. its very existence depends on being part of the square. this might seem like a weird thing to state explicitly but i’ve seen people get mad that there was too much adrienette/ladynoir in a marichat fic and that it wasn’t really “marichat” and i mean….what? lol. because it’s a civilian/hero combo, you have to show how it affects ladynoir and adrienette. u cant just have marichat be dating and then pretend like the other sides of the square don’t exist ? flsjadjk

totally platonic marichat....godly

romantic marichat developed from platonic marichat.....also godly

they would eat dirt and it would be weirdly cute and i have proof

even if marinette and chat noir fell for each other, they'd never just forget OG crush over even fully "get over" them imo. adrien and ladybug will always hold a special place in their heart and they will always love them in some way!

there’s no such thing as post-reveal marichat. if they know each other’s identities then the dynamic has changed and the square has all been absorbed into like Adrienette 2.0 lol

and for the hottest take of all:

marichat good

thank you for your time. please take a goodie bag on the way out

#tizzy I did warn u lmao #ask #tizzymcwizzy #marichat #rants #yeah that will be a tag now ig djdkdk #or was it already a tag? it should be 😭😂

[kpop-dungeon-dark]

The Gamble Of Prides. (Mafia!Baekhyun x You)

•TRIGGER WARNING•

Warning(s): Non-Con, public humiliation, exhibitionism, cum play, knife play, gun play, fear play. Both of you are legal in this. Read at own risk.

It took Y/n a moment to realise what had just happened, eyes widening slowly as she looked up from Mafioso Byun's final cards and at his smug face. "N- No… No way…" Her friend facepalmed in great stress and fear of all the men surrounding them in Byun's bar. That did not just happen. "How is that possible?" Smashing the cigarette in her hand against the table, Y/n stood up. "There is no way you won this time! I am not just good-- I am GREAT at this! How could you win?! Not when I-..." Y/n trailed off from her own words, not willing to admit that she was cheating. Since the beginning.

The older man shrugged. "Well… maybe you're not that good, Miss. I mean…" Him and his men chuckled at the 4 foreign kids visiting their country for vacation. "You lost 4 games in a row along allllll that you had" taking a drag of his cigar, the man smirked devilishly. "Confidence is good but overconfidence will drown you in the sea of reality, in the wise words of Norain."

The girl was clenching her fists, every fiber of her body loathing him. Y/n hated just how fucking smug he was.

"You bastard!"

Byun chuckled. "Adorable. So you remember all that you put on the table, right?" The female gulped, the recent memories of how she bet her body at last when she had nothing left to gamble with. A laugh left the man when she backed away and tried to run, which resulted in Byun's right hand that was sharper than an eagle, Sehun, to grip her arm before throwing her whole body back and in the Boss' feet. "Tsk. I honestly thought you were an honourable young lady. But the way you tried to run away from your own words?"

"P- Please! We will pay you back, sir!" One of Y/n's friends sobbed, causing the girl to glare at her.

"Shut up! Don't fucking plead a cheating bastard like hi- OW FUCK!" Y/n was cut off when Byun gripped her hair before her brain could decipher it and pulled her face closer to his.

"Calling me a cheater when you were trying to use pathetic little rigged ways while playing in MY casino?" Silence followed for a couple moments, the man's lip chain dangling furiously from how fast he'd moved. "You are more foolish than you seemed, baby doll."  Before the girl could shoot anything back, one of her friends shakily stood up, realising this was no game and the man was pure trouble.

"S- Sir… m- may we leave?" Gasping, Y/n turned to look at him along with their other friends. "We had nothing to do with the game nor do any of us gamble. You can sort your thing with her but we really had nothing to do with the game. Please let us go."

Byun sat up a bit straighter, a firm hold on Y/n's hair still. "That's fair." Nodding at his men, the man spoke. "Leave." He couldn't help but chuckle when that boy gathered the rest of his friends before all of them left without sparing a shocked Y/n another glance. "You really are that irritating to everyone, huh?" The girl was fuming at this point, hating how smug and entertained he looked.

“Fuck you!

A snort left the Mafioso when the small girl dared to spit on his face. Byun fucking Baekhyun's face. "I am afraid you don't realize the intensity of the situation, love." Before he motioned his men to stop in their positions, halting them for beating her up for the disrespectful gesture. Before Y/n could realise what had happened, she gasped under her breath when the man suddenly pressed a sharp knife to her throat, the blade threatening to slice against her soft skin.

"You bet all that you had and then took a loan. When they told you that you couldn't take any more loan you bet your body without thinking of the consequences…" Clicking his tongue, he dragged the knife along the length of her neck before grazing it against her collarbone, making the girl jump when he sliced through one of the strings that held her dress against her breast. "Tsk. Did you even know what that means?" The girl hated how she was made to kneel in front of him as he sat in his seat, feet on either side as one held the knife and other held his cigar.

"I- I will pay y- you back!" The men laughed at her slightly wavering tone.

"Oh, is that so?" Baekhyun raised an eyebrow before nodding. "Of course you will. Of course. That is the only way. However…" Taking the other string that was on her other shoulder over the blade, the man toyed with it. "I shall give you a choice." Taking another drag, he puffed it in her face, causing her to cough. "You can either be good and even redeem yourself on the way for your naive actions or…" Inching their faces closer, Baekhyun spoke just above a whisper. "You die and all your body parts get sold."

Y/n's blood started to run cold as she realised just how fucked she was. Even her friends had abandoned her and now she was in this casino with some man she had clearly underestimated as some local gangster. His blood slightly brushed against her skin, still not cutting open the other string. "So… what's it going to be, huh? Me cutting this little dress off your body or me sliding this blade across your throat?"

"I… I d- don't want to d- die, p- please" her eyes finally wetted with tears, bringing the man great satisfaction as he nodded slowly, taking another drag as he finally cut the string open, the tight dress Y/n was wearing falling down to her waist in an instant, causing her to gasp before protective arms tried to hide her chest but Byun's foot beat them to it, pressing both of them down in her laps by one of his feet.

"No, love. You cannot decide what happens to you any longer. You lost all of those rights when you lost your body to me. Now you're my puppet." Byun fed off the fear in her eyes and across her face. "Now, let's begin the fun, shall we?" The girl shook under him as she realised that she didn't have a choice anymore.

"Stand up." The man ordered. "Stand up and take those clothes and heels off." Before the girl could protest, Sehun spoke up from behind, firmly pushing at her back with his knee.

"Didn't you hear what the boss just said, whore?!"

"Hey now, Sehun-ah… don't treat the pretty girl like that…" Byun looked up at Sehun with upset eyes, words painfully sweet like he wasn't just threatening to murder her in cold blood. "She's too weak to be treated so rough… Dolls like her are delicate and fragile… aren't they?" He looked down at the humiliated girl with teasing eyes, snorting at how she flushed in embarrassment before removing his foot from her arms.

"Get up." His tone was rough again as he leaned back in his seat, tossing the knife on the table before picking his glass of whiskey up, taking a sip. "We don't have all day and the clock's running!" He spoke aloud when the girl tried to plead, not even looking her way but in a far distance, waiting for his orders to be obeyed.

Y/n shivered under the gazes of all the men in the room as she slowly stripped from her dress and heels, cheeks red in embarrassment.

"Come here…" Byun ordered. "Kneel." And as the girl kneeled, the male grabbed his knife again, placing one of his feet under her pussy before clicking his tongue at the bra that she didn't take off, swiftly cutting it open, making it fall against her laps. "Don't." The man warned as the girl went to cover her now exposed chest with her arms, watching her carefully. "Come here."

Y/n's eyes were letting out continuous silent tears as she got closer to the man, feeling her nipples harden from the air as her face burned the hottest it could. She could only bite her lip and stare at the ground in embarrassment. "Get on your knees and undo my belt." Her eyes widened as she looked up at the man that looked almost bored. "What? Did I mumble?" His lips grazed against one of her breasts now, making her instantly mumble a small 'no' before she did as she was told, her fingertips trembling as she followed his instructions until she could see his erect cock bulging against the dark blue boxers he wore.

"Come closer now, rub your face on it, doll. Feel your Master up~" Baekhyun encouraged, fistibg her hair in one of his hands whilst the other one that was in possession of the blade grazed against the side of her neck dangerously close. Y/n bit back a sob as the man guided her face closer to his clothed member, forcing her to rub her face against and all over it, moaning lowly at just how good her warm breaths felt.

"Take it out…" The girl did as she was commanded, her hot tears falling on Baekhyun's skin one by one, only adding to the pleasure. "Come on… take it in your mouth. That's it…" Y/n was in disbelief of her situation but knew there was no way out. Opening her mouth, she took his thick head in her mouth, cringing at the taste as she slowly licked and sucked at it, literally shaking as Baekhyun leaned over, pulling her face down his cock by the hair he was holding, finally cutting the last piece of clothing she had on which was her underwear, exposing the girl to everyone in the room and increasing the tension even more. All of his henchmen were sweaty and their throats were dry. But nobody could do anything no matter how much they desired.

Because she was his toy.

"Keep going…" The Boss whispered, sliding her mouth further on his cock and grunting when she gagged around him, bringing her face up before slamming it down, causing the girl to choke again but he held it tight this time, his cock twitching from how she struggled to breathe but couldn't. "Good girl. Now that is some good behaviour." The man grinned, releasing her just enough to let her breathe before pulling it off completely.

"Lick it off." Baekhyun's voice was cold again as he guided her to his cheek which had her spit on it, tightening his hold on her head even more. Y/n was full on sobbing now after failing to suppress it felt her scalp burnt from where he was holding her, shakily placing her hands on his knees before licking her own spit off, sweat trickling down her back. "Are you sorry?" She felt a gun press against her pussy now, the blade long gone as he calmly stared down at her.

"Y- Yes! Yes! I am!" The girl rushedly spoke, feeling the cold metal of the gun slip in between her folds, rubbing back and forth."P- Please, si- sir!"

"Good." Baekhyun was satisfied from how the girl was trembling in fear, standing up before pulling her up on her feet before pushing her on the table where they had played, placing his gun on her stomach before grabbing her thighs and forcefully pushing into her, moaning when she screamed in pain while crying even harder now. "This will get you thinking, tsk. Who do you even think you are? Brats like you deserve nothing but to be treated like this…" Baekhyun loved how he stretched her walls long and deep, expanding them forcefully before he gave her another powerful thrust.

"So fucking overconfident… And what are you now? A fucking slut that's not even in control of her own body." Grabbing the gun, the man started to give her faster thrusts now, moaning loudly as sweat dripped down his forehead, hips snapping mercilessly whilst he pressed the gun to one of her breasts, rubbing the tip against her nipple. "I wonder what will happen if I shoot it… will it pop off? Deflate?"

Y/n's eyes widened as she hysterically cried, her heart thumping as she slid up and down the table, shaking her head furiously whilst her hands rested lifelessly at her sides, her whole body covered in sweat. "P- PLEASE! PLEASE! N- NO! NO! DON'T S- SHOOT ME, S- SIR! PLEASE!" She could only beg helplessly as the man got off to her fear, glaring down at her as he fucked her intensely, going balls deep as he twitched again, feeling himself closer to his orgasm.

"But you've been so fucking disrespectful today. Do you even know who I am, you little slut? How dare you?" Before he pushed the gun in her mouth, forcing her to taste herself as the fear of him suddenly deciding to pull the trigger invaded her senses.

"I- I… s- showwy-" was she could pathetically let out through the gun as he grazed it against the soft end of her throat, ramming into her harder and harder before he was emptying his load into her, pulling out and seeing his cum gush out of her along the blood of her purity, forming a pink mixture. Gathering some of the white liquid off his cock, the man rubbed it against her lips before kissing her as he tucked his cock back in followed by the gun and his blade, pulling her off the table by her hair, spitting in her face before slapping her for all the former disrespect, throwing her in his feet.

Baekhyun smirked, getting even more satisfied as he realised that he was her first time. The trip she was on was in the celebration of her 18th birthday after all. Whilst the mafia was turning 30 this year. "Maybe I won't send you to one of my brothels after all."

.

#non con #exo #exo k #byun baekhyun #exo smut #kpop smut #dark fic #baekhyun smut #exo x you #exo x reader #exo scenarios #exo imagines #super m #baekhyun x you #baekhyun x reader

[mlm-writer]

Sleep Aid (Taeyong x GN!Reader)

Kinktober Day 13: Phone Sex

Pairing: Lee Taeyong x Gender Neutral Reader Rating: Explicit Words: 1244 Summary: Your boyfriend is a hot mess, when he is on tour without you. Note: Reminder that drunk people cannot consent to anything!  Tags: Established relationship, Taeyong is a bit of a horn dog here, he is cute when he’s drunk tho, phone sex, masturbation and you’re a loud bitch

‘Stop, baby don’t stop…’ You groaned at the voice of your boyfriend filled your bedroom, your phone’s ringtone way too loud. Without looking at it, you decline the call, not caring what time it was. ‘Stop, ba…’ You were faster this time. ‘Stop, baby…’ You let out a frustrated groan and blindly picked it up. 

“What the fuck do you want?” You barked into the phone, unknowing of anything, but that you were woken up by something other than your alarm. 

“Baby, darling”, a voice you could recognise at any time mused over the phone. 

“Babe? What’s up?” You took a glance at the screen that was too bright. “You know it is three in the morning for me right? Time Zones and all.”

“I don’t care about time zones. I miss you,” he whined and you just knew he was drunk. “I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep, ‘cause I can’t stop thinking about my baby.” He ended his sentence with a little aegyo that made you giggle, even though you wanted to murder him for waking you up.

“You’re jerking off, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.”

You chuckled, pitying yourself just a little. “Call me when you’re sober, dumbo.”

“Talk dirty to me.”

“I am hanging up now.”

“No do…” 

You turned your phone off. You would have happily gotten off on the phone, but Taeyong was drunk. It just didn’t feel right. You slept the rest of the night well… and that morning too. You woke to light entering the bedroom, immediately going into panic mode. With your phone turned off, there was no alarm waking you for work. It was eleven in the morning and you weren’t able to turn your phone on until you sat in the metro to work. When you turned it on, you had several missed calls from your boyfriend, but those from your boss were the perfect distraction for those. You called her, apologising profusely as she yelled at you through the phone. 

You spent the whole day working extra hard to make it up to her. You even worked a few extra hours. By the time you were home, you had shoved a rice ball into your mouth on the way for dinner, so you could fall face first onto your bed. ‘Stop, baby do…’ You picked up without looking, worrying it was your boss. “Yes ma’am,” you spoke, back into full anxiety mode. 

“Ma’am?” You sighed in relief. 

“Taeyong-ah,” you whined in reply, “I am so tired. I accidentally slept in…” Then you remembered. “Because of you! Do you have any idea how late I was to work because of you!” If he were here you would’ve wrestled him on the bed. Now you couldn’t do that; it just made you miss him more. 

“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have called you… or drank that much.” You felt sorry for him too and sighed. You kicked your pants off, planning on lying in bed without a shower. 

“No, I’m sorry for snapping at you just now. Sorry, it was just a stressful day. To be honest, you were really cute when you called. Horny too, but mostly cute.”

“Well now I am mostly horny.”

You laughed, one hand reaching down to palm yourself through your underwear. “We should really have phone sex, but right now I am really too exhausted to talk dirty.” You heard your boyfriend chuckle, the sound warming your heart, pulling it from loneliness. 

“Then don’t talk. Just listen to me.”

“Oh?”

“Is that a yes?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I am getting undressed right now,” you told him, before frantically getting the rest of your clothes off. Taeyong chuckled over the phone and you loved the sound of it. Within seconds you were butt-naked on the bed, your hands wandering near your crotch, just teasing yourself for now. 

“Are you comfortable, baby?” You hummed, putting your phone on speaker and putting it next to your head. “Good.” Taeyong let out a long sigh. “Next time I am on tour, you should go with me. I see all these dark corners backstage and every time I think about you on your knees sucking me off in the dark, where the crew could run into us.” Your boyfriend moaned and you heard the wet glide of his hand over his cock. “I’m so hard, thinking about it.”

You rubbed your own arousal, being more vocal than you usually would to encourage your boyfriend to talk more .”Fuck you sound so beautiful. Is it hot to think about sucking my cock backstage?” You let out a small, confirming moan. “Yesterday we were at a very fancy stadium and they all gave us individual dressing rooms. If you were there, I would’ve bent you over the couch, so you could see the two of us through the mirrors, while I fucked you.” 

You were leaking from his words and covered a finger with it, before shoving that finger inside yourself. You let out a yelp at the intrusion, finger not wet enough but the rawness of it felt so good. “Fuck you just put a finger inside yourself, didn’t you?” You wiggled the finger inside you, letting out a moan that told Taeyong enough. “Fuck you did… Do you have that dildo close by?” You looked around, eyes landing on the drawer across the room, where you kept your toys. 

“Other side of the room, not worth it,” you whined, pulling your finger out and spitting on it, before putting it back inside. You were still rubbing yourself with the other hand. 

“When I’m back, I want to spend a whole day in bed with you, baby. I may cum now, but it is not as satisfying as filling you up with my cum.” Taeyong let out a guttural moan. “When you ride my dick, I could literally cum all day baby. I want you to walk around filled with my cum.”

“I’m close,” you moaned, one finger still inside you and the other ferociously rubbing yourself. 

“Not yet baby, I’m going to countdown from 10. I want you to cum with me on one, understood?” You whined, making him let out a dark chuckle. “Ten...” Taeyong let out a mixture between sigh and a moan. “Nine...” You wanted him to hurry up, but his moaning was the hottest thing you ever heard. “Eight...” You pleaded, the knot in your lower stomach tightening. “Seven...” There was so much pleasure, but you slowed down your movements, trying to hold on just a little longer. “Six, damn baby the neighbours will hear your moans.” You couldn’t reply, mind too focused on keeping yourself from coming while balancing on the edge.

 “Five… Fuck, so good.” You could hear the wet sounds from his lubed cock, reminding you of what it sounds like when he pounds your dripping hole. “Four…” You thrashed on the bed, having a hard time keeping yourself from having your orgasm too early. “Three…” You moaned louder, as did he. “Two…” So close. So close. “One.” You screamed as your whole body tensed. Your back arched as you came hard, the moans of your boyfriend in your ear, even though he was not there. 

You lied there for a while, swimming in post-orgasmic bliss and hearing your boyfriend’s breathing calming down with yours. “Fuck that was good,” you sighed, smiling, “I’m gonna fall asleep. I’m so tired.” 

Taeyong chuckled. “Don’t forget your alarm.”

#taeyong #lee taeyong #nct x you #taeyong x reader #lee taeyong x reader #taeyong x male reader #lee taeyong x male reader #taeyong x gender neutral reader #lee taeyong x gender neutral reader #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct dream #nct x male reader #nct x reader #nct x gender neutral reader #x gender neutral reader #gender neutral reader #Female reader #male reader #x male reader #kpop #kpop x male reader #kpop x reader #kpop x you #kpop x y/n #taeyong x y/n #lee taeyong x y/n #nct x y/n #kpop imagine

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

@dressrosaa and anyone else unfamiliar with pretty little liars, a postmodern tone poem about girlhood and violence, an experiment in storytelling divorced from linear time about how all cops are bastards and dads are even worse, one of the most bafflingly homophobic pieces of media i have ever seen despite the fact that the showrunner for all seven seasons is literally a lesbian like GIRL are you OKAY blink twice for I NEED THERAPY:

pretty little liars tells the story of four friends: spencer hastings (deranged genius/former and future speed addict, perfect); hanna marin (blonde shoplifter/recovering bulimic, an angel we don’t deserve); emily fields (gay swimmer, has no personality but it’s hard to tell if that’s because pll is homophobic or because shay mitchell CANNOT act but is almost hot enough to make up for it); and aria montgomerry (the fucking goddamn worst i know it’s wrong to hold this much hate in my heart for a sixteen year old who spends the ENTIRE show being sexually preyed upon but in my defense it is fiction and frankly barely even that; truly the relationship between pretty little liars and our normal human understanding of narrative is tenuous at best; the point is if aria were real she would be deserving of infinite compassion but she is not so she just sucks). a year after their queen bee alison disappears, her body is found, at which point they all start getting texts from the mysterious “A,” who knows their secrets with NSA-bugging-a-therapist’s-office precision and seems to have nothing to do in life other than to torture them into constantly endangering themselves or betraying each other or doing other horrible things that will then hang over their heads for 800 years.

PLL is sort of like what if a classic dead blonde whodunit has a nightmare octopus baby with jj abrams “mystery box” storytelling spliced together with a sense of pacing even more deranged than the magicians at its most unhinged; the reason i make so many jokes about its lack of interest in physical spacetime is because it’s technically canon that two and a half entire seasons, during which among other things spencer has a nervous breakdown and an addiction relapse and goes to rehab and then gets out of rehab T W I C E, takes place between the first week of school and thanksgiving break. it is not by any means a “good” show and it’s pretty clear that any “ideas” in it were there by accident, but watching 6 seasons in a month was one of the most enthralling television experiences of my life, and it really does love to remind you that no men on earth are good (*except for hanna’s street rat hacker boyfriend caleb played by tyler blackwell whose face makes me feel extremely safe who is the most perfect dreamboat in the history of televisual dreamboats). part of its unhinged M. O. is of course keeping you constantly guessing about who “A” is, taking you through like 7000 red herring reveals (along with some real reveals later retconned as beta-A’s working for the real A - i’m telling you this shit is fucking nuts) in which we spend a couple episodes thinking (if we have never watched a television show before) that so and so must be A, only to have their nefarious behavior explained away by some other mechanism.

i’m giving this context because i am taking your inquiry about the throwaway reference i made as a chance to explain my favorite of the A fake-outs, which centers on ezra fitz. who is ezra fitz? he is a demon in human disguise. he beats out craig manning on degrassi for worst fictional boyfriend in the history of teen melodrama. he is a dude who macks on a fifteen-year-old aria montgomery at a bar the weekend before school starts and then turns out to be, surprise! HER ENGLISH TEACHER. because the show, despite being incredible and amazing and iconic, is also very bad, their relationship, which goes on and off the entire seven seasons and winds up endgame, is sold as like a torrid and angsty secret affair, and not the creepiest thing that has ever happened. despite the fact that ezra is the closest the show has to a male lead and played by the second hottest dude on it, in season 4 they were running out of A candidates and started giving us shady clues to ezra’s shadiness, discovered and mostly put together by spencer, who simultaneously was coping with the stress of trying to get into an ivy league college while also saving herself and her friends, all of whom take turns sharing one brain cell leaving her to do all the thinking, from the constant assault of a blackmailing emotional terrorist who at this point has also tried to kill them several times. one time aria winds up in a box on a train next to a dead body and also it’s halloween and adam lambert is performing on the train, god when riverdale season 1 was good i thought riverdale was like what if pretty little liars but on purpose but with the benefit of hindsight clearly PLL had what riverdale fucking WISHES it could.

in order to deal, spencer has fallen on her old pill-popping ways (for, just to reiterate, the second time after leaving a mental institution in the span of like 10 weeks), and JUST as she is on the verge of really PROVING that their english teacher is A, she suffers a stimulant-induced psychotic break i.e. gives the show their framing device for doing a Theme Episode around the theme of Film Noir, where everything is in black and white and everyone talks funny. you can watch a clip here to get the flavor. sidebar at this point alison has appeared to every single character i think and it’s like still fully a mystery whether they all individually hallucinated her at times of stress or if she’s secretly alive. once again this show owns.

anyway her friends totally freak on spencer when she tells them her theory, because she is literally the only person in town with a brain, but then we get this amazing episode where aria (a child) is at her english teacher’s cabin for the weekend and he’s acting exactly like a serial killer the entire time and she starts to have doubts and has a very tense ski lift ride with him and THEN! THEN what’s amazing is that ezra is NOT A, but in explaining why he has been acting so shady despite not being A they manage to somehow make him not ONLY worse than an english teacher who was fucking his high school student but ALSO make him POSSIBLY WORSE THAN AN ACTUAL MURDERER IMO, because it turns out that he met alison briefly before she died/fake died and then got obsessed with her death and SO he came to town and got a job at the school AND MADE OUT WITH THIS DEAD TEENAGE GIRL’S EQUALLY TEENAGE FRIEND IN THE BAR THAT DAY AND PURSUED A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP WITH HER AS HER ENGLISH TEACHER.............................................. IN ORDER TO DO RESEARCH FOR A TRUE CRIME BOOK. LITERALLY the most incredible thing i have ever witnessed on television. it’s SO incredible and PLL is SO far from being what you could call a “normal” “story” that my love for it is not even diminished by the fact that aria eventually takes him back because this show is evil and she is stupid (again i would NOT say that of an ACTUAL child victimized by an english teacher/pathetic truman capote wannabe, but aria is made up and not around to hear about how bad she sucks and i hate her) (my god she’s so bad guys like you simply cannot watch the show and retain empathy for her it WILL break you). it does help that in between those things ezra gets his dumb ass shot. yeah for “love” or whatever but like he deserved it i’m not gonna complain.

anyway i hope that helps clarify matters. just to stress the important part, this is not in the top 10 most deranged things that happened on this show. one time A snuck into a dentist’s office and knocked hanna out with laughing glass and implanted a tiny strip of paper in her gums which when the liars extracted it later read DEAD GIRLS DON’T SMILE. another time for a fashion show they were getting dressed up and one of them realized she was wearing a corset made of human finger-bones. they all go to jail because they have been framed but then on the way to jail they get kidnapped in an underground bunker styled to look like their childhood bedroom where A makes them milgram experiment each other for three weeks. watching this show will literally change the structures of your brain. i heard it’s finally legal in oregon now.

#pll

[bunny-hoodlum]

I was thinking of @dayseternal-blog 's fic "Last Chance", how the only reason I know about Para-para is because of this anime:

First ep was in one of my Newtype mags in 2003.

Then I thought about the relationship dynamics in this shoujo anime, in relation to Naruto characters.

These two, Ran & Tatsuki... To me they're pretty much Naruko and Naruto, I'm not lying. I couldn't ship them, but they were official. Ran is a hothead, cannot study, has a delinquent/jock personality. Tatsuki makes her laugh, and he is a goofy guy, the end.

Rei Otohata (Oto"hot"ta, lol), and Aya = SasuHina.

Aya was a stressed out high-achiever who turned to Enjo-Kosai (paid dating between High school girls and men), then Ran saved her from that life and showed her there's ways to be a Gyaru on the cheap, also that she can just have fun with her and Miyu. She is a Mature Gyaru type, soft-spoken and down to earth. Rei comes off as pompous and uber serious, but he really doesn't care about superficial stuff, like how he's the number one hottest teen in Shibuya or Tokyo, or something lol. (Do they still run these popularity contests? I can't believe you can/could become a local celebrity as a high schooler, lol.)

Yamato, cop and Ran's older bro. He's an uber responsible stick in the mud type. Miyu, Ran's bestie and reformed actual delinquent turned lovey-dovey, shall I say, borderline Burikko Genki girl. This dynamic best matches... This going to be weird, bear with me: IrukaSakura, primarily Sakura at her most fawning, which was early Part One.

Okay! That concludes SuperGALS! comparisons!

I just started rewatching Outlaw Star, not enough to say for sure, but I think Gene and Melfina have a similar dynamic to NaruHina. ♥️💙🧡💜 JUST LOOK AT THESE BABBIES!!!

#supergals #old school gyaru #outlaw star #naruhina #shipping comparisons #then again maybe GeneMelfina resembles KibaHina as well... oof

[lilhemmo]

24 & 70 w/ sweet pea

24: soulmate au70: locked in a room

a/n: so i’ve been wanting to write a bodyguard au and this just so happens to work out so here it is! and this is a fem!reader just because sp will specifically say “ma’am” repeatedly for, y’know, professionalism’s sake ;)

trigger warnings: violence, blood, guns, knives

“Ma’am.”

“You’re overreacting, just chill out. My father didn’t even have to send you.”

“Ma’am.”

“Seriously, this is fine! It’s just a club.”

“Ma’am.”

“What!?” you turn on your heels, scrunching up your nose in annoyance.

Sweet Pea opens the door for you, rather begrudgingly, “Please be safe.”

You laugh, the smell of alcohol and lost inhibitions wafting through the air, “That’s what I have you for, babe.”

You barely have time to gauge his reaction before you’re pushing through the crowd and making your way to the bar. Veronica wasn’t kidding when she said she was going to start buying up real estate all over Riverdale. Your father and Hiram were business partners at one time, but ever since Mr. Lodge was carted away to prison, you’ve been doing the business on your father’s behalf.

“Ronnie!” you squeal, launching yourself across the bar to hug her around the neck. “Girl, you will not believe. My father made me bring my bodyguard.”

Veronica smirks, watching as the man trying so hard to act casual sweeps the area with his eyes. She bites her lip before turning her attention back to you, “Honey, he picked the hottest bodyguard after Reginald. What’s his name?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug, tapping the bar to request a drink. “He’s been hanging around for months, training or something. I just like to ruffle his feathers. Calling him ‘babe’ really pisses him off.”

“You’re a mess,” Ronnie rolls her eyes, “I’m going to check on Reggie. Of course everything is on the house. We’ll talk business later?”

You nod, pulling the straw between your lips and sipping on your drink concoction. Thank god the bartender knows your regular.

“Ma’am,” your bodyguard steps into your side, alerting you to his presence.

You chuckle and swirl your drink, “Any threats detected, sir?”

He sweeps his dark eyes over the dance floor before turning his attention back to you, “Probably a couple of perverts hovering near the ladies room. Other than that, nothing to report.”

“Perverts by the ladies room is just another Saturday night,” you smirk, setting your drink down on the counter. You sit with your back to the bar and you can tell that makes him nervous. He leans over and picks up your drink before anyone can come near it.

“If you hold it, it’ll get hot,” you whine emphatically. “Just put it on the counter, everyone knows me here.”

“Which is exactly why your father hired me,” he speaks curtly. “I won’t keep my job if you get your drink roofied.”

You shake your head and narrow your eyes, “My father is cowering in some penthouse hideaway, so I don’t currently take orders from him. I can’t believe I even let you follow me around the past few months.”

“Unfortunately, I’m not hired to be your friend,” he deadpans, handing your drink back to you. “I’m hired to keep you safe. Whether you like it or not.”

You gulp down the rest of your drink and slam the glass back on the counter, wiping your lip with the back of your hand. You go to speak, but he’s infuriating you past the point of speech, so you stalk off into the crowd to find someone to dance with.

six months later

“Get down!” he shouts, pushing you behind the kitchen table. He hands you a kitchen knife and your key ring that has pepper spray attached, “Ma’am, I’m going to take care of this, so stay put and be quiet.”

“Wait,” you whisper, grabbing him by the shoulder. “What’s your name?”

He pants, his eyes darting from you to the door, “Uh, it’s Sweet Pea, ma’am.”

“Okay,” you nod, releasing his shirt, “I-I just thought I should know in case I, y’know, die or something.”

Sweet Pea smiles sadly, pushing a lock of sweaty hair away from your face, “You’re not dying today, ma’am. Just stay put, I’ll keep you safe.”

He’s gone before you have the chance to say anything else. You clutch your pepper spray to your chest and the knife wavers in your hand, so you hold it tighter, so tight that your knuckles turn white. You swallow and tears leak down your cheeks, burning your skin as you try to keep whimpers from escaping your lungs.

It feels like an eternity, gun fire and screaming and explosions echoing in the rooms adjacent to your own. You flinch with every loud noise, afraid that it might be the last thing you hear before you die. Your hand goes numb from clutching the kitchen knife, but it makes you feel safe so you don’t dare to let it go.

Then everything goes quiet.

The only thing you can hear is your own breath rattling around in your lungs. You try to watch for shadows against the walls, wondering if you’ll be taken by the men who threaten your home.

Your name is called by a familiar voice and you find tears streaming freely down your cheeks and a sob breaks your lips open. Sweet Pea turns the corner and he catches your body as it sags, the knife clattering from your hands to the kitchen tile floor.

“You’re okay, ma’am,” he murmurs into your hair as you cry into his shirt. You wilt against his body, but he holds you up with his arms around your shoulders.

You shake your head against his chest, swallowing the growing lump in your throat. You go to speak, but you’re interrupted by your whole body leaving the ground. Clutching his shirt further, you realize that Sweet Pea has pulled you off the ground and started to carry you out of the house.

“I’ll take care of everything,” he tells you as he settles you in the back seat of his black SUV. “Just sleep. We’ll be home soon.”

You’re sure that you’ll never be able to sleep again in your lifetime, but as soon as the car starts and the hum of the engine vibrates your body, you find yourself lulled to sleep.

two months later

“I never believed in soulmates until I met Sweet Pea,” Toni chuckles, tipping her beer back against her lips. She smirks over at you, “I never knew he would be so different after he joined the force. He came back a different person, but I’m starting to see his old self come back again. Even just in glimpses.”

You can’t help but let your eyes wander to the parking lot where you know a familiar SUV is parked, watching your every move and making sure that you won’t come into any sort of harm. Your heart warms at the thought of it.

It’s difficult to even think about soulmates with the past few months you’ve had, but you know that the mark on your hand means that you have one. A flower that curls around your wrist and up your forearm means that you’re destined to have a life partner, one made perfectly for you.

“I doubt Sweet Pea has the mark,” you tell her, mouth against the rim of your glass. You force a smile onto your face, “Besides, I’m not in the line of work to have a soulmate. Too many casualties since my father went to prison.”

Toni shakes her head, “I think you’d be surprised what you’d find if you stripped him of a few pieces of clothing.”

Your cheeks burn red, but you can’t find it in you to respond.

Later that night, when Sweet Pea is doing a final sweep of your home, you reach out and grab him by the sleeve.

“Please,” you find yourself speaking weakly, tears threatening to fall. “Stay.”

You can see that he wants to object, but he raises his hand to press against the earpiece lodged on his left side and he mutters a few lines of code you can’t seem to understand. He nods to someone outside and then pulls the piece from his ear and takes you by the hand.

“Whatever you need, ma’am,” he tells you, allowing you to grasp him by the waist and pull him into your body. His warmth provides you with some sort of solace that you cannot explain no matter how hard you try.

“Thank you,” you whimper into his shirt. You swallow the lump in your throat and throw away any inhibition about the tears that are soaking his clothes.

Somehow you convince him to crawl into your bed, and the sound of his pistol clunking into the bedside drawer gives you some semblance of safety. It’s not your fault that he’s tall and quiet and intimidating, but all of those things rolled into this one man’s body make you feel at home.

four months later

You just wanted to test out your new panic room, that’s all. You just needed to learn how to close the doors and operate the cameras. It’s not your fault that there was a bug in the system from the company who installed it, and now you have to wait until someone from that very company can come to bail you out.

Oh well, at least you have some company.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, I failed,” Sweet Pea apologizes as he paces the small space. He shakes his head and the veins on his arms and neck and forehead stress against his skin. He sighs, “I shouldn’t have let this happen.”

You intercept him and brush your hand over his cheek, forcing him to look at you, “Sweets, it’s okay. It was an accident.”

“I’m the head of your security team,” he grunts, trying to keep his cool with you so close. “I should be smarter than this.”

You try not to laugh as to not further damage his ego. Instead, you frame his face with both palms, “You’re the head of my security team because I trust you with my life. Nobody could have predicted a malfunction with the safe, and there’s no reason to go all James Bond on the situation because we have an alternative way out and we’re not currently in danger.”

Sweet Pea shrinks a little into your touch, the metaphorical weights sliding off of his shoulders and allowing him a moment to breathe. He looks you in the eyes, “I appreciate the sentiment, ma’am, and the hesitation to scold me.”

“I can scold you if you like,” you wink, dropping your hands back to cross your arms over your chest. “If that’s what you’re into.”

It’s only there for a fleeting moment, but Sweet Pea’s eyes and skin betray him as his cheeks burn pink and his eyes travel to your lips.

You reach across and tug on his gloved hand, “Do you ever take these off?”

“They help my grip,” he explains, “so I only take them off when I sleep.”

You bite your lip, contemplating how to see if he has the soul mark to match your own. You’ve felt a connection to this man for a while now, but you were only ever able to explain it to yourself as the connection you feel when you lay your life in someone else’s hands.

“I want to see your wrist.”

You settle for direct.

He blanches, eyes wide and mouth drawn open. Sweet Pea swallows, his throat bobbing, but he reaches for his glove anyway. He must know what you’re talking about, because he reaches for the exact hand you had in question. If it has what you think it has written over it, he will be your exact match.

“Wait,” you order, grabbing him by the hand.

Sweet Pea halts, eyes open as he stares down at you. You gently drag one palm up his torso to card into the hair at the nape of his neck, tugging him downward to meet you halfway as you stand to your toes.

“I want to do this before I know,” you tell him, your lips a ghost against his. He does not struggle or pull away, and so you push yourself the rest of the way until your mouth is flush with his.

It takes him a moment to respond, but his arms rest at your waist and he tugs you as close as he can, abdomens completely in line with one another. His lips are tangled with yours, slotted perfectly, just as you assumed they would be. His mouth is warm and tastes of cinnamon, just like the gum he constantly chews throughout the day. You wonder what you taste like to him, but you haven’t got another moment to care when he bites down on your lower lip and hooks his hands under your knees.

Sweet Pea hoists you onto the small counter in the tiny panic room, resting his body between your knees and never breaking the connection of your lips. A small groan emits from the back of his throat and now you’re dying to know if he is your match, your soulmate.

You break apart, hair mussed and lips bright red. You can’t help the giggle that tugs open your mouth, but you force yourself to redirect your attention to his wrist.

“I didn’t want it to be just because we were meant to be,” you tell him as your hand hovers over his glove. You slide your index finger under the lip of the material, feeling his pulse quicken under your touch. “I had to let you know that I wanted this before I know.”

He nods, a heady breath shaking his lungs, “I-I wanted it to. But I already know.”

You remove his glove, and there, wrapped around his wrist, is a beautiful flower with petals to match your own.

a/n: whew, that was a long one! hope you liked it, anon! feel free to request more!! :) 

#sweet pea #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea one shot #sweet pea fanfic #sweet pea fanfiction #riverdale #riverdale x reader #riverdale fanfic #riverdale one shot #riverdale imagine #sweet pea imagine #my writing

[occasionalfics]

OKAY. ENDGAME THOUGHTS. SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT.

first of all, as a known thor stan and a known fat woman, the russos can fuck off and never touch thor again. i wouldn’t be so bothered by this if he wasn’t so clearly written off as a joke, as if his trauma and coping methods weren’t just there for people to pity or make fun of (except for frigga...i won’t forgive the russos, but at least they did bring back frigga THANK GOD). that’s all i’m saying on that.

ALL HAIL KING VALKYRIE.

YO. BUCKY. LOOKED. FINE. AS. FUCK.

uhhhhh i have some issues with steve kind of obsessing over peggy? there are some interesting think pieces on the fact that steve has lost bucky MULTIPLE times throughout their lives and peggy... look. i love peggy. there is absolutely nothing wrong with peggy carter. but sending steve off by leaving him in the past like that? idk. it’s not entirely satisfying. there are worse ways to send off a character, absolutely, but there are also better ways.

CAROL’S HAIR 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 honestly every queer girl’s dream

did i mention ALL HAIL KING VALKYRIE

everyone on twitter thought hulk was hot and i’m just like...sure, have your fun, live your dreams

I CRIED OVER CASSIE AND SCOTT’S REUNION OKAY. I WAS SO SCARED THEY WERE GONNA MULCH CASSIE AND THEN THEY DIDN’T.

Shuri should’ve had a line

Where the HELL was Nakia? Were Lupita and Winston too busy with Us to just make some quick little appearances? I get that, if that’s the case XD

If there’s one thing this movie’s got me pumped for it’s SAM WILSON AS CAPTAIN AMERICA!!!!! Disney+ is gonna have to rename their Falcon & Winter Solder series. I mean Bucky really isn’t even the Winter Soldier anymore so...yeah. But I cried SO HARD when old Steve handed Sam the shield. SO. HARD.

Y’all I cried the hardest over Peter Quill dancing to Come and Get Your Love. Idk if I’ve mentioned this before but Peter Quill and I share daddy issues/trauma and I see a lot of myself in his growth, so I hold him really close to my heart. Seeing him again...made me really emotional.

one more time for the people in the back: ALL HAIL KING VALKYRIE

um honestly there was very little about thor i liked in this movie which says...an awful lot. 

OH HOW COULD I MAKE A POST WITHOUT MENTIONING STEVE AND MJOLNIR?! THAT WORTHY ASS MOTHERFUCKER COULD LIFT THAT HAMMER ALL ALONG!!!! Honestly, watching Steve use Mjolnir against Thanos was the hottest scene in the entire movie. Very good.

New favorite marvel character: Mjolnir.

KING. VALKYRIE.

uh yeah so clint and natasha were there and they had some moments. and then natasha was fucking dead.

Steve checking himself out, cursing at himself, being completely jaded by the Whedon-esque verison of himself from, what, 13 years earlier?, completely playing Rumlow and Sitwell with the entirely fake Hail Hydra? GOOD. SHIT. 

I actually cried during Tony’s funeral. I really don’t hate Tony. Actually, this movie made me like him for the first time since...Iron Man 2?

MORGAN H. STARK DID NOT DESERVE TO LOSE HER DADDY, BUT SHE WILL ALWAYS HAVE HER CHEESEBURGERS AND THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HER DADDY WAS A HERO

Um, excuse me, but does Clint think he’s growing the Incredibles out there on his farm? His daughter’s name is Violet. This is a very bad stretch but I’m sticking to it.

I cannot stress this enough: KING VALKYRIE.

I didn’t even mention Nebula. Wow. I’m so proud of Nebula. And you know what? I’m not even mad that she wasn’t the one to kill Thanos because she, ultimately, was the one to save Gamora. That seems way more important to me.

Did y’all know I really genuinely want a King Valkyrie and the Kingdom of New Asgard movie now? Because I definitely do.

There was like...a shocking lack of Carol.... Like she was there just not nearly as much as I expected?

So they kill Thanos the first time and I thought I was gonna have a panic attack because it’s MAYBE 20 minutes into the movie. Like the guy next to me was like, “I almost thought that was the whole movie???”

Is it just me or is the MCU much nicer about Howard Stark than the comics?

Things that Fanfic predicted, whether intentional or not:

New Asgard

It would take the team YEARS to reverse the Snap

Bucky coming back lookin like a damn SNACK AND A HALF

Yeah idk these were just thoughts I had in the middle of everything

Maybe more thoughts to come? Let’s talk.

#avengers endgame #endgame spoilers #avengers endame spoilers #endgame

[jamesashtonisbae]

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match

Word Count: 2,885

Pairing: James x MC (Lacey), Becca x Zig, Abbie x Tyler, Kaitlyn x Anissa, Zack x Grant

Rating: M

Warnings: Language, sexual content

Summary: Lacey is a notorious matchmaker.  Who will be her next couple?

Author’s Note: Somehow this got deleted, so I’m fixing it now!  Sorry if you’ve already seen it!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they belong to pixelberry studios.  This is based on The Freshman Series.

Lacey was sitting at the desk in the room she shared with her boyfriend James, working on the rough draft of a paper on Shakespeare’s political tragedies, her personal favorites.  James walked in and pressed a kiss to her temple, glancing down at her hands typing quickly about Cleopatra as a shrewd political operative.

 “You do love some classic Cleopatra, don’t you?”

 “You know I do.  She’s amazing.  It’s such a shame that no one knows her for her brilliant mind, her scheming, her wisdom, but just for her beauty.  It wasn’t her beauty that drew the most powerful men to her.  It was her confidence, her power, her cunning.  They didn’t even know – OH MY GOD! Becca and Zig should totally date!”

 James chuckled as Lacey spun around, mouth wide open, “Lacey dear, you know nothing that you say could ever surprise me.  But how on earth did you arrive at that conclusion?”

 “Becca is Cleopatra, duh.”

 “That still doesn’t explain how you got to her dating Zig.”

 “Women like Cleopatra need men in their lives who have a healthy awe of them, but at the same time are strong and secure in who they are.  They have to know the power that they hold in their hands, respect it, but know that they can handle it.  Zig is perfect for Becca.  They’re perfect for each other.”

 “What about Chris and Becca?  I always kind of thought they would get together.”

 “James. I don’t think I’m in a position to suggest to Chris that he should date someone.  It would not go well.”

 “Lacey, it’s been almost two years.  Surely he is over it by now.”

 “James. Chris has had many opportunities to move on and has taken none of them.  If he were going to, he would have.  That man is a chick magnet.”

“So you think he’s attractive?”

 “James.  You know that I slept with him.  I have to be attracted to him in some way if I’m going to sleep with him.  I, objectively speaking, can acknowledge Chris is an attractive man.  There are a lot of attractive men in the world.  I acknowledge that they look good, and then acknowledge that I am dating the hottest man in the entire world, and move on with it.”

 “Don’t think you can butter me up to get out of this.”

 “James, you know it’s okay.  I recognize that there are attractive women in the world, and if you look at them and notice they are attractive, I’m not going to be mad.  If you stop and think “she’s way prettier than my girlfriend” then I might be mad.”

 “Stop being right.”

 “I can’t. Now help me set up Becca and Zig.”

 “How are we going to do this?”

 “Hmm, how about we invite everyone out for dinner, but beforehand, we text everyone that’s not Becca and Zig to say they can’t come.  Then, while we’re at dinner with them, before we order, we have someone call us, maybe Kaitlyn, saying she needs us to come help with something? Think that could work?”

 “It’s worth a shot.”

 “Perfect!” Lacey started typing out a message to Zack, Grant, Chris, Abbie, Tyler, Kaitlyn, and Anissa.

 Hey guys! So James and I want to set up Becca and Zig.  We’re going to text the big group and ask if anyone is free for dinner.  Wait until both of them respond (hopefully affirmatively) and then you all say you can’t make it.  Kait – can you call us the night we go to dinner and tell James and I we have to come help you with something (before we order).  Thanks guys! Love ya!

 “There! Sent.”

 A minute later, a text from Zack came in, OH MY GOSH HOW DID I NEVER THINK OF THIS BEFORE! THEY WOULD BE PERFECT TOGETHER!

 Chris: yeah I think that’s a great idea

 Kaitlyn: ahhhhhh amazing!!! I will defs call you during the din-din!!!

 Abbie: tyler and I are in. and by in, we mean totally not coming and totally down for those two to get together!

 Lacey: Perfect!  I’ll text the big group now!

 Lacey shot off a text to the big group, and within minutes, Becca and Zig both responded that they would be there.  Everyone else followed up with excuses as to why they couldn’t come.  James took Lacey’s hand and pulled her close to him, “You are such a little matchmaker.  You cannot be stopped.”

 “What can I say? I want my friends to find love.”

 “And you?”

 “I found love over two years ago.  And I couldn’t be happier.”

 …

 Two nights later, James and Lacey met Becca and Zig at the local Italian place with the best lasagna in the city.  Zig had offered to take Becca, because James had made up an elaborate reasoning for why he and Lacey needed to meet them there and couldn’t pick them up.

 When they arrived, Becca and Zig were already there, chatting and laughing together. Zig said something particularly funny, and Becca put her hand on his arm and threw her head back in laughter. James looked over at Lacey and raised his eyebrow.

 “Maybe they don’t need us to help them.”

 “You’re probably right.  Let’s go in anyway.”

 “Or we could just text them and say that an emergency came up and we can’t make it.”

 “Oh, that’s better.  But I’d feel bad.”

 “We’re already lying to them.”

 “You’re right, I’ll text Becca.  They already have a table, so they can’t leave.’

 Hey bex. James’s parents just randomly showed up in town, so we can’t make it.  Tell Zig we’re sorry and we’ll hang out sometime soon!  Have fun ;)

 Lacey and James watched as Becca looked down at her phone.  She read it, then showed it to Zig, who rolled his eyes.  Becca began texting back.

 Dang.  Have fun with the fam.  Zig and I should be able to handle hanging out tonight.

 Thanks bex.  I’m so sorry!  Coffee tomorrow?

 Yes please!  9?

 Perfect!

 “Ahhhhhh let’s get out of here!  I can’t wait to talk to her about it all tomorrow!”

 …

 “Becca!” Lacey exclaimed, running up to her friend, wrapping her in a hug.  “I am so sorry that James and I couldn’t make it last night.  We had no idea his parents were coming to town.”

 “That’s okay.  How were they?” she asked as they moved into the line and ordered their coffees. Lacey grabbed the iced coffee she was handed and waited for Becca to get her drink.

 “So, how was dinner with Zig last night?” Lacey asked, noting that Becca started blushing as soon as she heard Zig’s name.

 Becca sipped her drink, “Umm, it was actually really good.”

“Yeah? Why’s that?”

 “Well, if you guys hadn’t cancelled, Zig and I wouldn’t have gotten to know each other as well as we did.  He’s a really cool guy.  Like I always knew that.  Obviously, I’m friends with him so I knew that.  But, I don’t know.  I think we may be into each other.”

 “No way. That’s amazing.  Did anything happen?”

 “Well, he drove us to and from the restaurant, right?  And so on the way home, he said something about it being fun and that the two of us should hang out one on one again.  And I suggested tonight.  And he said “it’s a date.”  And then when he dropped me off, he kissed my cheek and walked me to my door.  I insisted that he not walk me up.  And he insisted that no gentleman would ever let a stunning young lady walk to her door alone.  So we’re hanging out at his place tonight.  We’re going to watch a movie and he’s making Mexican food, and Lacey I’ve never been more nervous and I don’t know why and hey!  Why don’t you look surprised?”

 “Would you be upset if I told you that James and I didn’t back out because his parents were in town but because we were trying to set you up with Zig?”

 “You did what???”

 “So you’re upset?”

 “Of course I’m not upset!  I am floored that you knew before I did.  Why him?”

 “Because you’re strong as hell, and he’s not intimidated by that.”

 “That’s it?”

 “Oh there are other reasons, but that’s what made it finally click in my head. You guys would also make gorgeous babies.”

 “Lacey!”

 “What? You’re both total smoke shows.”

 “Still!”

“We’re getting coffee tomorrow morning to talk about tonight, right?”

 “Ugh. Yes.  We can do that.”

 …

 “Tell me everything!” Lacey exclaimed before Becca even sat down.  Lacey had gotten there early and ordered already because she could not wait to hear how it had gone.

 “Ugh. At least let me drink some coffee first. I am exhausted.”

 “That’s a good sign,” Lacey said, eyebrows raised.

 Becca blushed, “Yeah.  It is.”

 “Details woman!”

 “Okay okay!  So he picked me up, right?  And took me to his house.  We got there and chatted for a bit, then he made dinner.  I kind of helped, but not a lot.  He’s an amazing cook.  I cannot stress that enough.  The food alone would have saved the date if it had been bad.  It wasn’t bad, by the way.”

 “Keep going, I know you’re withholding juicy details from me!”

 “So I offered to do the dishes since he cooked, and he insisted we both do them. So many times he would reach around my waist and grab something, or he would brush his arm against mine.  He was not subtle.  But I really liked it.”

 “More, more, more!”

 “Okay! We sat down and watched a movie. At first we were just next to each other watching it, but then he did the thing.  Like the stretch and put your arm around the girl thing.  During a particular scene, he mumbled something, so I turned to ask what he said.  And when I looked him in the eyes, he tilted my chin and kissed me.  I honestly don’t know what happened with the rest of the movie, because we made out the entire time.  And when it was over, he very politely asked if we could move to the bedroom, which is where we stayed until seven this morning when he took me back home.”

 “Wait, you guys had sex?”

 “Many times, yes.”

 “That was unexpected.  But it makes sense.  You’re both ridiculously hot.”

 “Lacey, it was so good.  I haven’t been laid in such a long time.  And he was an absolute gentleman.  He was so good to me.  That man’s tongue.  He sure knows how to use it.  And his hands.  Oh my gosh.”

 “But how’s his dick?”

 “Lacey. He’s amazing.  It’s perfect.  The sex was incredible.  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him.”

 “So when he dropped you off, what did he say?”

 “Oh! So he was all “I had a lot of fun last night.  Not just the sex.  That was great.  But I like you.  I like hanging out with you.”  And I agreed with him.  And I’m going over again tonight.  I really think that we’re going to be in it for the long haul, Lacey.”

 “I am so glad!  I can’t wait to tell James!”

 “You mean you haven’t told him yet?”

 “I mean, not about you two sleeping together.  But definitely that you were going on a date with him!  He’ll be so excited for the two of you!”

 “I cannot believe that you were behind all of this.  Like I should have known, but I still am shocked.  But I really like him, Lacey.  A whole, whole lot.  He’s the best a man I’ve ever known, and I don’t know why I wasn’t able to see that we would make a good couple sooner.”

 “It’s because you’re not the matchmaker, I am.”

 “What is this, like your fifth couple you’ve set up?”

 “Darren and Amara, Madison and Tripp, Kaitlyn and Anissa, Tyler and Abbie, Zack and Grant, Logan and Leila, Sebastian and Edgar…”

“Whoa. I didn’t even remember some of those couples.  Some of them are so unexpected, but you saw they belonged together I guess.”

 “Admittedly, you and Zig are my favorite couple.”

 Becca let loose a laugh, “I honestly always thought you would tell me that I should date Chris.”

 “Becca, you know that Chris doesn’t want me to tell him to date anyone.”

 Becca smiled sadly and nodded, “Yeah, he is still so into you.”

 “Becca, be honest,” she started looking down at the mug in her hands, “did I fuck that situation up a lot?  Should I have done a lot of things differently?”

 “Do you regret sleeping with Chris?”

 Lacey paused a beat, then said, “I do regret it.  Not because it’s hurting me and James.  He’s okay with it and we actually did talk about it.  I felt so bad, but he pointed out that we hadn’t even met and even more than that, that I didn’t owe him anything.  But I know Chris is still into me and maybe I should have been more careful with his feelings.”

 “I’m going to stop you right there.  He had no reason to expect that from you.  You were not committed to each other and you owed him nothing.  He can be sad, but you should not feel like you owe him something.  Lacey, he has no leg to stand on because the very next week he was with me and we were dating.  Even if it meant more to you, you had every right to move on, because he moved on too. Please never feel like you owed him being careful.  And you met James.  And James is the most amazing man for you.  You belong together.  And James is right, he didn’t know you when it happened, but I know you love him and feel like you hurt him, but James has slept with other women-“

 “He actually hasn’t.”

 Becca cocked her head, “Your first time was his first time?”

 Lacey nodded, “It was really cute to talk to him about everything beforehand.  He was so nervous and so worried about letting me down, but he definitely did not disappoint.”

“From how you talk about him I always assumed he was super experienced.”

 “I mean, we are experienced with each other.  Like we have tried a lot and done a lot, but external to each other we don’t have a lot of experience.”

 “You had more experience?”

 “Yeah, Chris and then my high school boyfriend at prom.”

 “So Chris was the second time you’d had sex?”

 “Yeah. Did you ever sleep with him?”

 Becca shook her head, “No he was never interested in sleeping with me.”

 “But you slept with Zig and it was AMAZING!”

 “That’s true, I did.  And it was. Lacey, I could ride that dick for the rest of my life.”

 Lacey grimaced, then tilted her head acceptingly, “You know, not the worst visual. It was mildly shocking but not unpleasant.”

 “Okay, please stop imagining Zig and I having sex.”

 “Becca, you know that if I am thinking about sex, my mind is instantly going to go to James…”

 Becca laughed, “How are the two of you doing these days?  Any trouble in paradise?”

 “No trouble at all.  I mean, we have tiny arguments about things that don’t matter, but if something big happens we talk like adults.  I could marry him, Becca.  Like it will probably happen.  I didn’t expect to find love like this so easily.  Everything about James and I is so easy.  I love him so much, Becca.  If he asked me to marry him this minute I would say yes.  I cannot believe how lucky I am to have him, Becca.”

 “Lacey, your relationship with James is so beautiful.  Every one of our friends has a great relationship, but yours with James stops my heart.  You guys were made for each other.  I love you both individually, but together you are unstoppable.”

 “Honestly, soon that will be you and Zig.”

 “Yeah,” Becca blushed, “I think so.”

 At that moment the door to the coffee shop opened and the bell above it dinged. Lacey and Becca both looked up, and when Becca saw it was Zig, her blush deepened.

 “Hey Zig!” Lacey exclaimed, rising to hug him. “How have you been?”

 “Quit playing coy Lacey,” he said, hugging her back, “I know Becca probably told you we went on a date.”

 “You didn’t go anywhere, Zig, but yes she did.”

 Zig let go of Lacey and wrapped his arms around Becca, who was still seated, and pressed his lips to her cheek, “Hey there, gorgeous.”

 Becca blushed even more, but turned her face to peck him on the mouth.

 “Oh my gosh, you two are so cute!  I am emotional!” Lacey covered her mouth with her hands and giggled.

 “Stop it, Lacey, we’ve been on one date,” Becca said.

 “About that,” Zig said, “Becca, I don’t want to wait until tonight to ask you this. Will you be my girlfriend?  I know this is pretty fast, but I’m so into you-“

 “Yes!” Becca stood up and pulled him into a kiss, “Zig, I am so into you too, and I do not want to wait.  Let’s do this.”

#choices #james ashton #james x mc #the freshman #tf/ts/tj/ts #choices tf/ts #james x lacey #becca davenport #zig ortega #becca x zig #kaitlyn x anissa #zack x grant #tyler x abbie

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Empire of Storms, Ch 32 - 33

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Aedion had been up half the night, debating the merits of every possible place to meet his father.

I am such a sucker for good parent/child relationships in fiction (extra bonus points if it’s adopted parents/child relationship) but honestly Assdion needs to stay the fuck away.

Beforehand Assdion put Lysandra to bet after she shifted back from some other form.

[Aedion] flipped back the crisp cotton sheets with one hand and then laid [Lysandra] down, her once-again long hair covering her high, firm breasts. So much smaller than the ones he’d first seen her with. He didn’t care what size they were—they were beautiful in both forms.

Uhhh does SJM not get how creepy this sounds? Lysandra is asleep and Aedion is staring at her boobs thinking about how beautiful they are?? God damnit SJM just stick to erotica if your characters are gonna be horny 24/7.

Lysandra made [Aedion] change out of his dirty travel clothes, barged into Aelin and Rowan’s room wearing no more than her own bedsheet, and took whatever she wanted from the Fae Prince’s armoire. Aelin’s barked Get out! was likely heard from across the bay, and Lysandra was smirking with feline wickedness as she returned, chucking the green jacket and pants at him.

This sounds like the beginning of a college fic where all the characters live in the same dorm. Not a fucking epic fantasy series constantly compared to LOTR. Tolkien must be rolling in his grave.

Dorian stirred, a cool breeze fluttering in as if his magic awoke as well, squinted at them both, then at the clock atop the mantel.

WHAT. Is this a medieval settings or not? The characters all use swords and bow and arrows and there’s hints of medieval Britain monarchies everywhere but the characters have clocks? What is this word building?

Gods, the females in his court ate more than [Aedion] did.

This is prompted after Lysandra eats breakfast. After we have already been told she burns a lot of energy with her shape shifting. Go fuck yourself, Assdion.

Aedion opened the door, finding the cadre precisely where he’d guessed they’d be at this hour: eating breakfast in the taproom. The two males halted as they entered. And Aedion’s eyes went right to the golden-haired man—one of two, but … there was no denying which one was … his.

I am actually so stressed. Either A) Aedion is gonna act like a dick to his poor father and be treated as right for it, or B) SJM is gonna turn Gav into a dick just so Aedion can angst over his daddy issues. Place your bets, folks.

“You look … ,” Gavriel breathed, sinking into his chair. “You look so much like her [Aedion’s mom].”

HHHHH SJM STOP I HATE THIS SHITTY BOOK AND ASSDION I DON’T WANT THESE FEELS....

“They could have cured [mama Aedion] in the Fae compounds, but she wouldn’t go near them, wouldn’t let them come for fear of Maeve”—[Aedion] spat the name—“knowing I existed. For fear I’d be enslaved to her as you were.”

I wish Assdion’s mom could’ve been a character, but nope, gotta kill off potentially awesome characters for the sake of main character pain. I know that’s just a thing that happens in 95% of stories at this point, but SJM literally only brings these dead characters up once or twice and it has no other impact on her main characters or the plot.

“I’m sorry,” his father said, those Lion’s eyes full of such grief Aedion wondered if he’d just struck a male already down. “I’m not the one you need to apologize to,” he said, turning toward the door.

Am I a dumb dumb, or... who the fuck is Assdion talking about? Is he talking about apologizing to.. Assdion’s mom? I’m so confused.

Assdion stomps out after his little tantrum. I mean, I understand why he’s upset, but... I need context? Was Gav forced to take the blood oath to Maeve, or was it his own choice? ‘Cause if it was the latter yeah he’s kinda a shitty dad, but if it’s the former, it’s not his fault??? This series is batshit confusing.

“We need them to work with us. I might have made an enemy of him.” [Lysandra] tucked her hair over a shoulder. “Trust me, Aedion, you have not. If you’d told him to crawl over hot coals, he would have.”

HHHH FUCK IT GAV IS A GOOD DAD..... I just feel so so sorry for him. He’s just a punching bag for everyone else. Protect Gav 2k18

He laughed, surprised he could even do so. “He’s a handsome bastard, I’ll give him that.” “I think Maeve likes to collect pretty men.” Aedion snorted. “Why not? She has to deal with them for eternity. They might as well be pleasant to look at.”

I mean a lot of those men have confirmed that they were forced to take the blood oath and are now basically slaves to her but sure, tee hee oh Maeve that slutty bitch, collecting only the hottest young men to enslave! Fuckin’ end me.

Bearing both Goldryn and Damaris for once, Aelin walked into the Sea Dragon two hours later and wished for the days when she could sleep without the dread or urgency of something pulling at her.

Greaaat, back to Alien’s POV.

A grand total of five minutes before Lysandra barged in, Rowan had awoken—and begun the process of awakening her, too. Slowly, with taunting, proprietary strokes down her bare torso, her thighs, accented with little biting kisses to her mouth, her ear, her neck.

EWWWWWWW if I wanted to read this shit, I’d go look up fanfiction. Preferably fanfiction with characters I’m endeared to and actually ship. Skip!

Gavriel and Fenrys were now sitting with Rolfe at the table in the back of the taproom, no sign of Aedion, both a bit wide-eyed as she swaggered in.

This is a nit pick but Gav/Fenrys always being described together irks me. They have the literal same reaction to everything. Like, are they doing this all in unison? Actually, that’s a pretty funny mental image.

Rowan took up a spot beside [Aelin] his knee brushing hers. Like even a few feet of distance was unbearable.

GDI. It’s a meeting. With a Pirate Lord. And all Rowboat can think about is getting his dick wet inside of Alien. I’m almost ready to tap out.

“What is this,” [Aelin] said, stabbing a finger near the main line of figures stretched across the middle of the continent. “It’s the latest report,” Rolfe drawled, “of the locations of Morath’s armies. They have moved into position. Aid to the North is now impossible. And they stand poised to strike Eyllwe.”

Ooo, action scene? Please action scene, I cannot handle any more scenes of these assholes being horny around one another.

Next chapter!

“Eyllwe has no standing army,” Aelin said, feeling the blood drain from her face. “There is nothing and no one to fight after this spring—save for rebel militia bands.”

Starts right where the last one left off, as per SJM’s protocol

Rowan said to Rolfe, “Do you have exact numbers?” “No,” the captain said. “The news was given only as a warning—to keep any shipments away from the Avery. I wanted their opinions”—a nod of the chin toward the cadre—“for handling it.“

??? Is it me or is this expression really fucking weird? Was “a nod of the head” not good enough?

“Why attack Eyllwe, though?” Fenrys asked. “And why move into position but not sack it?” [Aelin] couldn’t say the words aloud. That she’d brought this upon Eyllwe by mocking Erawan, because he knew who Celaena Sardothien had cared for, and he wanted to break her spirit, her heart, by showing her what his armies could do. What they would do, whenever he now felt like it. Not to Terrasen … but to the kingdom of the friend she’d loved so dearly.

Once again, we’re about to witness the destruction of a kingdom and all Alien cares about is her stupid feelings. Go fuck yourself Alien.

“You are the heir of the Mycenian people,” Aelin said. “And I have come to claim the debt you owe my bloodline on that account, too.” Rolfe did not move, did not blink. “Or were all the sea dragon references from some personal fetish?” Aelin asked.

SJM JUST USED THE WORD “FETISH” IN HER EPIC FANTASY SERIES. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

[Aelin] allowed a flicker of her magic to rise to the surface then, allowed the gold in her eyes to glow like bright flame. Gavriel and Fenrys straightened as her power filled the room, filled the city. The Wyrdkey between her breasts began thrumming, whispering.

I’m sorry, lovely readers, I keep ragging on about this, but holy fuck. I hate it so much. SJM wants this scene to be all epic and show what a special snowflake badass Alien is but then she undercuts all that supposed tension by drawing focus to her boobs I just. ajhdafdfagfds dj hdsa im b rea kin  g

Alien lets loose some of her power that literally shakes the world and rings bells or some shit? idk i guess its 2deep4me

“What the rutting hell was that?” Rolfe at last demanded. Fenrys and Gavriel became very interested in the map before them. Rowan said smoothly, “Milady has to release bits of her power daily or it can consume her.”

ROWBOAT CONFIRMED FOR NICE GUY HOLY SHIT

Aedion and Lysandra arrived after some time—and her cousin only spared Gavriel a passing glance as he stood over the map and fell into that general’s mindset, demanding details large and minute. But Gavriel silently stared up at his son, watching her cousin’s eyes dart over the map, listening to the sound of his voice as if it were a song he was trying to memorize.

Gav deserves a better series than this. I want to take him, Manon, Darrow, and Rolfe away so they can be at peace. How does Darrow/Gavriel sound to everyone? Pure old dads who rule their kingdom fairly, bringing peace and prosperity forward. What a lovely image.

SJM described the meeting rather than shows. It’s basically 90% everyone gushing over how powerful Alien is. Skip!

“You once said I would pay for my arrogance. And I did. Many times. But Sam and I took on your entire city and fleet and destroyed it. All for two hundred lives you deemed less than human. So perhaps I’ve been underestimating myself. Perhaps I do not need you after all.” [Aelin] turned again, and Rolfe sneered, “Did Sam die still pining after you, or did you finally stop treating him like filth?”

Dick move, maybe, but I mean... he’s not wrong. The Assassin’s Blade is literally just Alien being pissy towards Sam for no reason and then he gets angry when their master beats lAlien’s face in (you know, what any normal functioning human being would react like) and she’s suddenly frothing at the mouth to fuck him. Maybe I should review TAB next.........

Rowboat chokes Rolfe and throws him down, and everyone smirks. How are these characters adults? They’re all written like immature teenagers. Anyways, a bell rings out, signifying something bad.

Aelin watched as black - darker than the ink that had been etched there - spread across [Rolfe’s] fingers, to his palms. Black such as only the Valg could bring.

Please action scene I can’t handle one more “witty’ “banter” conversation between these assholes

The door banged open, and Rolfe’s towering figure filled it. “You.” Aelin put a hand on her chest. “Me?”

Pfft. I hated that I snickered at this, but I always laugh at the “dramatic hand on chest” joke.

“And what of your idealism—what of that child who stole two hundred slaves from me? You’d leave the people of this island to perish?” “Yes,” she said simply. “I told you, Rolfe, that Endovier taught me some things.” Rolfe swore. “Do you think Sam would stand for this?” “Sam is dead,” she said, “because men like you and Arobynn have power. But Arobynn’s reign is now over.” She smiled at the darkening horizon. “Seems like yours might end rather soon as well.”

Sam deserves better than this. He was an okay guy to my memory - not a poisonous fuck boy like Rowboat.

“Eight warships teeming with soldiers —at least a hundred on each, more on the lower levels I couldn’t see. They’re flanked by two sea-wyverns. All moving so fast that it’s like storm winds carry them.”

FUCK YEAAAH SEA DRAGONS LETS GO

Rolfe finally breaks down and agrees to join Alien’s war effort. Love it when one of the few good characters is kicked and beaten down to prop up the despicable protagonist. Then we swap to Dorian’s POV.

Aelin was insane, Dorian realized. Brilliant and wicked, but insane. And perhaps the greatest, most unremorseful liar he’d ever encountered.

Dorian, honey, you okay? Blink twice if Alien is holding you captive.

This war would not be won on smiles and manners. It would be won by a woman willing to gamble with an entire island full of people to get what she needed to save them all.

Yeah, doesn’t that make Alien likeable! I know war involves sacrifice and death but Jesus, could she feel even a little remorse? Innocent people may die today but Aelin’s head is so far up her own ass she doesn’t even care.

Fenrys kept at a distance from the others, but Gavriel remained close, his gaze still fixed on his son. Gods, they looked so much alike, moved alike, the Lion and the Wolf.

Stop ittttt Gavriel deserves better.....

Aelin tells Dorian to stay behind and the chapter ends. God, that was a lot of bullshit in two chapters.

#the worm talks #the worm reads: eos #anti sjm #anti tog #anti eos

[motiveandthemeans]

Prologue: History Always Repeats Itself

A pair of sea glass green eyes surveyed the London skyline; taking in her sights, smells and sounds. Cataloguing the different bus routes and tube stations, the families pushing prams, the couples holding hands and Rugby players prowling from bar to bar. The oppressively hot afternoon had given way to a gentle summer breeze, teasing her dark auburn locks.

It had been a riotous day, full of celebration and merriment. Her best friend had just graduated medical school and has agreed to take run of Watson & Watson Surgery, the practice her father and mother started together. The rooftop of 221 B Baker Street was a welcomed escape from the downstairs festivities.

“You’re not fooling anyone, you know. I know you’re upset I’ve taken up at surgery.”

Amelia Elizabeth Anne Holmes looked over her shoulder at her blonde counterpart. “Mmmmm, do you now, Watson? How very astute of you. Must be some sort of record.”

“No, no we agreed!” Rosamund replied, walking to stand beside her leggy friend. “I need to hone my practice before we go traipsing across London solving crimes and getting ourselves in sticky situations.”

The brunette scoffed, crossing her arms with a pout. “Where is your sense of adventure, Rosie? You can’t honestly tell me the idea doesn’t appeal to you. We’ve been solving crimes together since we were seven and eight years old.”

“Yes and if it wasn’t for Greg Lestrade, God rest his soul, we’d probably been arrested by 11 and where would we be then?” The good doctor replied triumphantly, downing the rest of her champagne.

Amelia’s bow lips frowned. “That’s completely irrelevant. We cannot entertain hypotheticals, we must examine our lives as they are before us.”

“Mercy you sound like your father.” Rosie laughed, slinging her arms across her brunette friend’s shoulders a bit drunkenly. “Don’t fret, Holmes. It’ll all work out.”

“Ever the optimist, Watson.”

“C’mon, our mothers are drunk and I have a feeling our fathers are eager to get them home.” Rosie laughed, taking her friend by the arm and dragging her away from the rooftop garden.

“I distinctly remember the last time that happened I ended up with a baby brother.” Amelia grumbled, elegant long strides outpacing Rosie’s petite steps.

Rosie Watson groaned, burying her head in her hands. It was 12:05 on her 295th day at Watson & Watson Surgery and she was already weighing the benefits of strangling herself with a stethoscope versus continuing on with the next impending case of strep throat or chlamydia.

“Rosie, dear, your twelve o’clock, Mr. Clarke, is here.” Heather, the medical assistant said in her sing-song tone. “Says he’s got ‘hot pins in his pecker when he pisses.’”

She gave her a tight smile. “Great. Thanks a lot Heather. Be there is a jig.”

Heather shut the door to her office and Rosie let out an exasperated sigh and rested her forehead against the desk. She went into medical school with the notion of excitement and joy at the idea of being a doctor. Her father always gushed about how rewarding it was to be there for a person at their lowest point. She understood paying her dues, but was this all really worth it? Graduated top of her class, with honors. All for the Chlap?

“Ah, Watson.” A new voice interjected into her train of thought. “Love what you’ve done with the office. Very…”

“Quaint?”

“Small.” Amelia scrunched her nose up, settling in the chair across from her. “Or cozy, which ever you prefer.”

“What do you want, Mia?” the young doctor grumbled. “If you’re trying to snag a prescription for morphine, I’d remind you we do them electronically now. So your knack for forgery had now been antiquated.”

“Oh please, like that would stop me.” She replied nonchalantly. “I need your help. I’ve come across a rather curious case that is out of my range of knowledge.”

“Please tell me you didn’t flirt with the pathology students again to gain access to Bart’s morgue? You know your mother hates when you do that.” Rosie admonished, standing to put on her fancy white coat, a gift from her parents upon passing boards.

Her dark haired friend smirked. “Ask no questions, I will tell no lies.”

“Cheeky, Holmes…” Rosie flipped open her iPad, reviewing her patient chart. “Well, what’s the question? And be quick about it. I’m betting Mr. Clarke’s got a nasty case of Trichomonas.”

“Riveting.” Amelia said dismissively. “Suppose a man was found dead on a pool deck in the middle of the hottest summer in 20 years, who upon examination was found to have died of hypothermia. Time of death is around 2 in the afternoon.”

Rosie raised a quizzical brow and tried to bite back a grin that for all the world reminded Amelia of her Aunt Mary. “Do you have any other information?”

“Perhaps. Interested?”

“No. I’m perfectly content in learning my chosen trade of medicine but you won’t leave until I give you my opinion so let’s just get on with it.”

Amelia produced a file seemingly out of thin air.

“Hmmmm, hematocrit is increased by five percent, plasma potassium levels are definitely out of range, glucose below 40…all labs point towards hypothermia.” Rosie said. “So how does a person die during the hottest part of the day, on a public pool deck, of cold stress?”

“Still not intrigued, Rosamund?”

Rosie stared down the taunting look in her best friend’s sea green eyes. “No. But if I were you I’d look into blood recently stolen from the blood bank.”

“Why is that?”

“He’s on the transplant list, waiting on a kidney.” She said. “Perhaps there was something haywire with his dialysis.”

“Curious case indeed! But who would want a special education instructor dead?” Amelia mused with morbid glee. “Oh yes, this case in improving by the hour!”

“Improving? The man’s still dead, Mia!”

“Yes well that’s not really the point though is it?” Amelia replied. “Come along, Watson. There’s work to be done.”

“Mia, I have a job. I can’t just drop everything and leave! It’s patient abandonment.”

“As you wish. I’ll keep you informed of my progress.” The brunette said placidly, walking out of the office. “Give my best to Mr. Clarke!”

“You’re welcome!” Rosie called after the closing door. With another angry huff, she gathered her things and prepared for her appointment with Mr. Clarke.

She looked at the clock: 12: 13. The day just wouldn’t end.

Amelia Holmes paced the length of 221 B Baker Street. She knew that the victim, Mr. Halliwell, had been killed by one of the medical professionals he’d come into contact with. Only the nurse who had administered the blood in dialysis swore up and down that she’d warmed the blood before administration. Amelia had seen no lie her eyes.

“I’m sorry, but why am I here?” Her youngest brother, Theodore, asked confusedly from the couch where he was reading a textbook on mammalian anatomy.

“Because I need inspiration.”

“On why someone’s been murdered?”

“Obviously…” She drawled as if it was the most obvious conclusion in the world.

“When was the last time you ate?” He asked off handedly. “Mummy will be terribly cross if you start losing weight again.”

“Your point?”

“Well, I go back to university in the September. I can’t be in three places at once, keeping an eye on you is a full time job in that of itself.”

Mia frowned. “I’m going to miss having you here.”

Teddy gave her a sweet smile. “You’re just saying that because I make better tea than you do.”

“Figured it out, have you?” She smarted back with a wink. “Well, in any case it seems I’m in need of a flatmate.”

“It’s twins!” A new voice said triumphantly. “I know it!”

Amelia looked over at the doorway to see a flushed Rosie, still in the smart clothes she’d worn to surgery. “Don’t you have work? It’s only 4 o’clock. Your last patient isn’t till six.”

“He’s got a twin brother that’s been sleeping with his wife.” Rosie continued. “I went to the school where he works, she’s not exactly bereaved by the loss of her husband of 36 years and she looked awfully cozy with his brother at the funeral. I followed them to a posh French restaurant just down the road. They’d only started on wine when I left.”

“You went to the funeral?” The youngest Holmes asked, bewildered at her audacity.

“It’s never twins, Watson.” Amelia deadpanned. “Have you learned nothing from Sherlock?”

“You can call him Dad, you know.” Teddy said amusedly, setting aside his book and moving to the kitchen to start tea. The apartment looked much the same as it had when Sherlock and John had lived there, except the kitchen table that had once occupied lab equipment now played host to several monitors, CPU’s, laptops and GPS.

“I prefer to call father by his name when working in a professional capacity.” She said retrieving her black Chanel bag and Burberry trench. “Don’t wait up Theodore!”

“I never do!” He called back. Amelia smiled at her brother’s cheek.

“Wait, you’re not suggesting we actually stalk them?” Rosie replied indignantly.

“You followed them to a funeral and you think going to the same restaurant is over stepping bounds?”

“Well, girl’s gotta have a code.” She shrugged.

“Come along, Watson.” The consulting detective smirked. “The game is on.”

“Well, that was quite invigorating!” Amelia announced loudly, an exhausted Rosie dragging her feet into Baker Street at 2 am. “I never would have suspected the wife would be in cahoots with the sister-in-law to kill the husbands for a measly state pension.”

“If I were writing a blog, I’d entitle this case A Study in Fuchsia.” The blond yawned. “I’m beat. I’ll sleep in Granny’s room.”

“It’s too bad we didn’t run into Cedric.” Amelia waggled her brows salaciously.

Rosie rolled her eyes. “I’m over that childhood infatuation.”

“Whatever you say.” Amelia intoned.

They stood quietly in the entryway, the heaviness of the situation palpable.

“Look, Amelia. This doesn’t mean that I’m going to quit surgery. It was a one off.”

Amelia nodded. “Goodnight, Rosie.”

“Night, Mia.”

Amelia walked out of 221 B at 3pm the next afternoon, having not slept for quite some time while on the case. In the chair that had once been occupied by her father, Rosamund Mary Watson sat drinking tea and reading her iPad, dressed in ironed clothes and fresh make-up. She spied several suitcases by the door, though they weren’t Teddy’s luggage.

“Ms. Holmes, I hear you’re in need of a flatmate.” She said, setting the tea cup down.

“Word travels fast.” Mia grinned. “Could be handy having a doctor around.”

“Is there a vacancy?” Rosie teased with a sly grin. “I hear every consulting detective needs a physician with a penchant for writing.”

#sherlock x molly #Sherlolly #sherlock #Sherlock Holmes #molly hooper #parent!lock #rosie watson #mary watson #john watson #should i continue? #tell me what you think

[jesbakescookies]

Too Hot To Handle: Chapter Thirty-Eight

So I kinda wrote a different kind of fanfiction. It’s nothing as in depth as my other fics so I am going to post it here. ENJOY!!***Actor, Real Person Fanfiction, Walking Dead RPF***Featuring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan X Original Female Character, Norman Reedus and others.. (FYI this is total fiction, as in I know nothing about JDMs life or that of his real SO and son etc. Because of this, for this work of fiction, they don’t exist. Jeffrey’s been a typical actor playboy dating fellow stars etc. This is written for sick daydreaming pleasure.)

Aria St. James is a busy woman with a thriving restaurant. She thought she had everything she needed until a few famous faces visit her dining room. A tall, dark and handsome actor decides Aria’s just what he’s been looking for.

Rating: Mature : NSFW **dirty dirty**

Aria stretched out in the bathtub, sinking into the thick bubbles as she relaxed after a long day. She'd been working at the new restaurant all morning and then closed up her other place. Having been on her feet for over twelve hours, she couldn't bare another moment upright. Groaning as the heat began to sink into her muscles, Aria glanced at the door when she heard Jeffrey come home. He'd been visiting with cast members, catching up after the long break between shoots. "Sweetheart, where you at?" Jeffrey gruff voice called out from the living room. "In here." She called out, her sleepy eyes brightening as he sauntered in.  Smirking at the sight of her, Jeffrey crouched down and kissed her lips softly. "Well hello, beautiful." He rasped, his fingers tucking stray hair behind her ear. "Hey, handsome."

"Long day?" "More than." She replied with a sigh, "I spent all morning navigating the finer details of city permits and building city codes, then I cooked for six hours with only one stove, as my main one finally bit the dust. Topped off with one irate customer, who had two servers crying in the breakroom and a three digit dining ticket written off because my busboy decided to stick up for his waitress girlfriend by promptly tell said irate customer to go fuck himself." Chuckling, Jeffrey rolled his sleeves up and grabbed the bottle of shampoo. "Duck your head under the water a bit, darlin'. I'll wash your hair." Aria couldn't help the moan she released as his fingers dug into her hair, massaging her scalp and neck thoroughly. Turning her head to the side, she kissed his wrist as he worked, nuzzling into his warm skin. "How's everyone at the show?" "Good, good. Steve and Norm are begging to start up a poker night, me hosting of course." "Of course." "Probably do it though. Sounds like Andy and Greg might join. Few of the crew too.” "I'll make finger foods." She commented with her eyes closed, enjoying the feeling of his strong hands rubbing the strain of the day away. "Don't have too darlin'." "I know." Aria murmured, peeking one eye open. "You know I love feeding people." Snorting, Jeffrey leaned over the edge of the tub and kissed her cheek. "Well we'd appreciate it, sweetheart. Got word on a release date for the movie." "Oh yeah?" "October." "Six months huh? That'll be soon after the restaurant opens." "Yeah. I'll be here for it, then I'll have to go to Cali for a few days to do interviews and shit." Jeffrey detailed, his voice sounding hesitant. "Okay." "Talked to Katherine today." "Oh god, what now?" Aria muttered, the other woman's name only caused her anxiety. Whenever they were talking about his publicist it meant some new problem had arisen. "Nothing, she just... she wants you to go to the opening with me." Aria sat up slowly, turning to face him for the conversation. They hadn't spoken about the movie and the scenes that it contained, both wanting to forget about it completely. "And what do you want?" Jeffrey let his hands hang on the tub edge, suds dripping from his wrists. "Well, I won't lie. Having you with me would be nice. You haven't been able to go to any because of your schedule." "That probably won't change with two restaurants at that point." "I know, I know." He drawled, pursing his lips in thought. "It's just... fuck darlin', I'd like to have you with me for once at these things." Chewing her lip, she looked him over and couldn't help but feel guilty. She knew she could've gone to other events but used her job as an excuse, truly she just hated being in the spotlight. This time would be even more stressful, due to the film it was for. Sighing, Aria brought her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. "Jeff... I want to I just..." "I know you don't want to see it." "It's not that." "Yeah it is... and believe me, I'd rather you not see... it. We don't have to stay for the film, a lot of actors do it with their own flicks. We go to the red carpet, do the photos, talk to the people. Leave once we get inside. We can hit a few parties afterwards with the cast." Huffing out a breath, she caved, "okay. If the new place isn’t burning down or something, I'll go.” "Yeah?" He asked with a slowly growing grin. "You'll go with me?" "Yeah." She replied, her smile quirking up at the sight of him so escatic. Leaning over the edge, Jeffrey cupped her face and pulled her lips to his. "Thank you, sweetheart. Promise you'll have a good time."

"Megan I swear to god, please don't ask me again." Aria grumbled, rubbing her eyes roughly as she spoke with her best friend on the phone. "Aria, I'm serious. The clips I saw of it look hot as hell. How can you stand it?" Growling at her friend's prodding, Aria snapped, "I can't fucking stand it, Megan. Why do you think I don't want to talk about it? The idea that he had some other woman's mouth on him, her hands touching places, only I should be touching, is driving me slowly fucking bananas. So no, I cannot stand it and yes, you are making it fucking worse by asking me about it!" "Okay, okay. Jesus don't get so bent out of shape." "I hate your face." "No, you don't. So are you going to the premier for it?" "Yeah." She answered with a heavy sigh. "I've got to. He was so damn happy when I said yes. I can't back out now."  "Well, it'll be fine. Besides, you'll get to see famous people and probably go to some awesome parties." "You know I don't care about meeting famous people and parties are boring. The food sucks and the people are fake." "You don't know that, you never go to any." "Well.... I just know." Aria huffed, her eyes rolling at her pathetic attempt at an excuse. "Stop being a party pooper. You'll have fun. You'll be with the hottest fucking guy there, who will take you home and fuck you proper when it's all over with.” "I don't want to see it." Megan sighed, "you know he loves you. Nothing he did in that movie is real." "But it is real, it really happened. Could you watch Randy fuck some other woman." "First off, Jeffrey didn't fuck anyone and I can guarantee he doesn't want to fuck anyone but you. Second, there's no way in hell Randy could land a woman like her but I would definitely like to watch him make a fool out of himself trying."  Laughing a little at her attempt to lighten the situation, Aria replied, "He's says we don't have to stay and watch it but I feel like I should see it." "Why?" "Because." "What a convincing argument." Megan deadpanned. "Look, doesn't he get a copy early or something? Watch it in the privacy of your own home if you feel like you've got to see it. Don't do that to yourself at a public premier." "Yeah... I'll see if he does. That would be less.... traumatic." "Well, if you do, send me a copy because seriously... that man is ah-mazing." "Stop thinking about my husband like a sex object." "Only if he stops being hot as fuck."

Jeff was thumbing through his phone messages when Norman plopped down next to him. "How's it hanging J?" "To the left." Snorting, Norman took a drag of his cigarette and asked, "you run poker night by the old ball 'n chain." "First off, stop calling her the old ball 'n chain. Second, I don't have to ask permission to play poker." "Riiiight. So you weren't asking if it was okay to have your friends over." "No. I wasn't." "Uh huh." "Fuck off, Reedus." Jeffrey scoffed, elbowing him roughly.  "You ask her about the premier?" "Yeah, she's going." "Is that a good idea?" "No, it's a shit idea but we won't stay to watch it. I won't put her through that." "She's gonna end up seeing it, you know it. It'll be better if you two see it together." Growling, Jeffrey looked away and thought about the options and the outcomes of each. "Fuck, you're probably right." "I'm always fucking right dumbass. show her the final edit copy they send out. Buy her something nice to soften the blow.”

“I'm not bribing her.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“That's not how we work man. She doesn't need me to buy her shit.” Jeffrey scoffed, shaking his head at his friend. “Ari, she'll want to hash it out, tell me how it feels to watch something like that and it'll just break my goddamn heart.”

Norman frowned and shook out a cigarette towards Jeffrey, “man, you're being too hard on yourself. It's your fucking job and she knows that.”

“There's knowing it and living it brother. She isn't the only one who is unhappy about. I don't want to touch anyone else.”

“Jesus, you are whipped.”

“No, brother. I'm in love.”

Find Chapter Thirty-Nine Here:

http://jesbakescookies.tumblr.com/post/165689973971/too-hot-to-handle-chapter-thirty-nine

I started posting this fic over on AO3 also. I will probably post in both places since I’m still figuring out AO3 formatting etc.

Let me know if you’d like to be tagged for updates. I’ll try my best to remember!

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#jeffrey dean morgan x oc #JDM #jdm x oc #jdmorgan #The Walking Dead #actor RPF #RPF #walking dead rpf #too hot to handle #jesbakescookies #fluff #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #Fanfiction #smut

[falleyes]

Somewhere Else pt.1 - The Airport

[Summary: All of the what ifs of Drake & Riley meeting somewhere else, in any other way.]

This scene drove me insane, so naturally, I wrote something.

“If we’d met somewhere else…anywhere else. At a club in New York or in an airport, or at a party…If you hadn’t been our waitress that night, and I hadn’t been sitting next to Liam…Do you think all of this…do you think it could’ve been different…between us?”

“Last call for boarding Flight 847 to Detroit, last call for boarding.”

Riley could just make out the flight attendant’s calm and professional voice over the usual hubub of the airport as she shifted her carry-on bag and set off towards the baggage claim.

JFK airport was almost always loud, a melting pot of sounds and people that reflected the city it was surrounded by. And Riley loved it. New York City, dubbed the “City That Never Sleeps,” was a cultural hub that Riley hoped would provide her with the adventure and excitement her hometown lacked to satisfy her travel bug for the time being.

Already, in her short trip from Gate 14 to baggage claim, she’d heard at least ten different languages, and just as many distinct accents from countries all across the globe. She’d jump at the chance to see them all, if her bank account could afford it. Riley had been saving up for years to travel the world, but her dead end job waitressing could only get her so far. For now, New York was her closest bet.

Just the very thought of how much this emergency trip back to her hometown cost her had Riley anxiously working her lip and her fingers itching to pull out her phone and text her coworkers for any shifts to pick up.

A sigh escaped Riley’s lips as she slumped against a pillar adjacent to her baggage carousel and watched suitcases go by with bored eyes and folded arms.

Before long, her eyes strayed to observe her surroundings. All around her, people moved about, some moving sluggishly, others rushing like their lives depended on it. To her right was a fierce looking woman in a pinstriped pantsuit, tersely talking on the phone while making agitated movements. To her left knelt a weary man before a crying young boy of his likeness, desperately searching through his duffle bag for something to console his son. All the while, he spoke quickly and despairingly in what Riley assumed was Italian until, at long last, he triumphantly pulled out a rather sad looking blanket out of the bag and held it up to the young boy like an offering.

Amidst the cacophony, Riley tuned into a clipped and frustrated voice, a blend of harsh staccatos with a faint and rather unrecognizable accent underneath. She turned her head as her eyes scanned the crowd for the owner of that voice, her interest now piqued. There was something familiar about that voice, although Riley was certain she’d never heard it before. It was as if her fingers were dancing across the worn ivory keys of a poorly-tuned piano to play a long-forgotten song, and she was trying to figure out the key.

Not far from where she stood by her baggage carousel, at the check-in counter of some airline she’d never heard of, Riley found him.

He had messy brown hair that curled over his shirt collar just below the nape of his neck and was dressed in jeans and a denim shirt that was haphazardly buttoned over a white T-shirt. Although she couldn’t see his face from her angle, the employee’s stressed expression and the way his back muscles strained against his shirt made it quite obvious he wasn’t happy.

Without thinking, Riley drew closer to get within earshot. She didn’t know what it was that compelled her to do so, maybe it was innocent curiosity or the fact that conflict is always interesting to watch. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the way this stranger was so oddly familiar. The way she knew that voice, in every tone it came in, without ever having heard it before.

“Listen, lady, I need to be on the next flight back to Cordonia,” the man said as he placed his hands on the counter and leaned forward, pleading with the airline employee. “I’m not supposed to be here, I -”

“But you bought a plane ticket to New York?”

“Well, yeah,” he grumbled, pushing his hands through his dark hair. “I came here for someone, but they aren’t…they aren’t here and I’ve got someone back home who needs me now. I’ve got the money -”

“Sir, I’m sorry, but if you bought your ticket here to New York City on your own, we aren’t responsible for your being here and cannot prioritize you over other customers,” the employee shook her head as she looked down at her computer screen. “If you want to be on the next flight to Cordonia, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning. I’d be more than happy to assist you in purchasing your ticket for that flight, but otherwise -”

“But tomorrow morning isn’t good enough!” the man groaned, hands fisting in his hair before falling to his side. “It says right there that there’s a flight leaving in forty-five minutes!” he said, pointing at the screen on the wall behind her that displayed the flight schedules.

“A flight we no longer sell tickets for,” the employee stated wearily, as if they’d already gone over this before. “Plane tickets are no longer sold two hours prior to departure, and we ask that all guests check in at least an hour before take off. The soonest we can get you in the air is tomorrow morning at eight.”

“Well, then what the hell am I supposed to do until tomorrow morning?” he snapped before slamming his hand down on the counter in frustration, capturing the attention of quite a few people nearby.

“Sir,” the woman said, stern and slightly startled by his sudden action. Her eyes scanned the area around them, worried that he would start to draw too much attention.

As if only just realizing he was in public, the man stepped back and turned in a half circle to see the small audience he had begun to draw in. For the first time, Riley was finally able to get a good view of the man’s face. He had a strong jaw, a nose that looked as if it had been chiseled out of marble for the bust of Julius Caesar, dark eyes, and a brooding expression to match.

Before she could even think to look away, his eyes swiftly swept over the mass of people before landing directly on hers.

Riley sucked in a breath between her teeth, a jolt going through her body and awakening every nerve as she felt the full force of his stare. Glare? Oh, if he wasn’t before, he was definitely glaring now. His lips twisted into a scowl and Riley quickly turned, busying herself with the search for her suitcase once again as she felt her face flush.

The second she found the old, beat up, black suitcase she’d taken on nearly every trip since middle school, Riley peeled out of there as fast as possible, the rickety wheels wobbling with every step she took. Even as she approached the automatic sliding doors, she could still feel his eyes on her, burning into the back of her skull. When she stepped outside, Riley hesitated, filled with the odd and nonsensical need to turn around.

She kept going.

“Right, Kismet at eight,” Riley repeated, her phone wedged between her cheek and her shoulder as she hastily scribbled the words down on a coffee-stained napkin she found in her bag. “Damn pen,” she muttered under her breath as ink bled into her fingers and smudged onto the napkin. Shifting everything around again, she wedged the clean end of the pen between her teeth, shoved the napkin into her back pocket, switched her phone to her other hand, and checked her watch. Six thirty. She took the pen out of her mouth and tapped it against her hip. “I can do that.”

An hour and a half. That was just enough time for Riley catch the bus home, unload her stuff, take a quick shower, and head over to Kismet, the hottest club in town to potentially pick up a friend of a friend’s shift, assuming they still needed the help.

“Uh huh,” she nodded, pacing around the shelter next to the bus stop as she spoke on the phone. “Of course, it’s no problem…No, not at all…Money is money after all…Alright, cool, thanks…Yeah, you too…Okay, bye.”

Satisfied, Riley hung up with a relieved smile. Due to a series of calls, she was able to find someone through a mutual friend who needed somebody to cover for her at a popular club while she went on a date. It was only for one night and the pay wasn’t nearly enough to make up for her last trip, but it was good enough.

Riley dropped her phone into her bag and plopped down on the bench, leaning back and rubbing her tired eyes. She wondered how many cups of coffee it’d take to get through the night.

“Does this mean you’re done pacing now? It was really starting to get on my nerves.”

Riley shot up in her seat, eyes fluttering open. To her left sat the same man from earlier in the airport, with the cool expression and the brooding eyes. A duffle bag sat at his feet.

“I didn’t realize…” Riley shook her head and scooted backwards, putting some space between her and the stranger. She’d been so wrapped up in her phone call, she must not have noticed when he arrived. As her eyes took in his impassive expression and she remembered his irritated tone, her brows furrowed and she pursed her lips. Any timorous feelings she had under his gaze before had completely disappeared. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough,” he shrugged, folding his arms across his chest and letting his legs stretch out. “What’s Kismet?”

“It’s a club,” she answered curtly. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you that it’s rude to listen into other people’s conversations?” And then, wilting slightly under his inquisitive but intense eyes, she added, “And to stare?”

The man raised an eyebrow and the corner of his lip just barely quirked up. “Didn’t anyone ever teach you?”

Riley felt her face go hot again and she quickly looked away, mumbling under her breath. “That was different.”

“Oh really? How?” he scoffed. “Pray tell.”

Riley scowled and sent him a scalding look as she crossed her arms as well. “Maybe if you hadn’t made such a big scene, I wouldn’t have paid any attention.”

“And I’m just supposed to ignore you pacing all around the bus station in front of me?”

“That’d be much appreciated.” Riley quipped, turning slightly away from him so she didn’t have to see his irritating smirk and longer than she had to.

“Is everyone in this town so hypocritical?” he muttered bitterly.

“City.” Riley corrected him.

“What?”

She glanced over her shoulder, raising an eyebrow before looking away again. “This a city. You know, New York City…The City That Never Sleeps…”

”Fine, fine. Is everyone in the city this annoying?” the man groaned, covering his face with his hands before pushing them back through his hair.  Then, he dropped his hands to rest his arms on his knees and looked up at Riley, his expression growing smug. “Or is it just you?”

Heat flared up in Riley’s stomach and in her cheeks. She whipped her head in his direction, eyes narrowed into a glare. “Don’t get pissy with me just because you bought a ticket to a city you don’t even want to be in. I mean, who does that? And it’s not my fault that you can’t go home today, so leave me out of your little mope fest.”

For a split, incredibly satisfying, second, the man’s expression fell and his brows raised in surprise at her sudden outburst. But just as quickly as it came, his shock melted away. His brows pulled together, a deep crease forming in the middle, and his lips twisted into a scowl very similar to the one he gave her earlier, but with so much more intensity.

“You have no idea what you’re talking about,” he snapped, eyes flashing. “I didn’t have a choice. I had to come here.”

Riley studied him for a few moments, pensive. He didn’t look the business type. He had only a duffle bag at his feet - no briefcase - so his venture out here couldn’t have been work related. He wasn’t a tourist, he made that much clear. And he clearly wasn’t from around here - any of the states, probably -  given how out of place he looked here. There was also the fact that whatever place he was talking about earlier with the airline employee certainly didn’t sound like any place in America. What was it again? Cordonia?

“Why are you here?” she questioned, her tone no longer harsh but simply curious.

The man’s expression slightly softened as well. “I…” he trailed off, looking crestfallen. His dark eyes took on a hazy appearance and as if he was suddenly miles away. A few moments passed before he abruptly shook his head, coming out of whatever trance he seemed to have been in. He met Riley’s gaze once more, expression guarded yet again. “Forget it,” he mumbled under his breath and looked away. “You wouldn’t understand.”

Not sure how to reply to that, Riley stayed quiet and let the cars around them fill the awkward silence between them.

When her bus finally came, Riley was surprised to see the man stand as well and walk over to the curb for boarding. She wondered if he even knew where he was going. Or what he was doing.

Her questions answered themselves as she stood on the step behind him, waiting as he searched his pockets fruitlessly for any spare change to pay the bus driver. In the end, the best he could procure were a few foreign-looking coins and his wallet.

“I don’t suppose you take credit cards, do you?” he asked, no hope in his voice as he flipped open his wallet.

The bus driver shook her head.

Shoulders sagging, he turned to get off of the bus. His arm brushed against Riley’s as he passed.

She turned to watch him go, so defeated, and before she could think twice about it…

“Wait.”

Riley pulled a few extra dollars from her bag and held them out to the driver along with her own bus fare as the man halted in his tracks and turned to look at her, brows furrowed.

“I’ve got him covered.”

She could feel his eyes on her as the driver took the cash and she took off down the aisle without waiting to see if he got on or not. Riley made her way towards the back of the bus and tried to sort out her reasoning for helping the gruff stranger out. By the time she had rationalized that she simply felt bad for him and she was a good person, she heard him mumble a low thank you to the driver and the doors slid shut.

As the bus lurched forward, Riley sat down in an empty row by the window with her suitcase at her feet and immediately pulled out her phone to text her family that she arrived safely and her friends that she was back home.

Someone sat down beside her, and without having to even look, Riley knew it was the stranger from the airport again.

Minutes passed in silence, Riley scrolling through her feed as the man sat there, occasionally glancing over at her and opening his mouth to say something, but ultimately deciding against it.

Finally, he spoke up.

“You didn’t have to do that, you know,” he said softly. “Pay for me, I mean.”

Riley didn’t say anything for a while and the man looked away, accepting her lack of response as a response.

“I know.”

At the sound of her voice, he turned his head towards her again. She still hadn’t looked up from scrolling on her phone.

“So…why’d you do it?”

His simple question caused her thumb to stall over the phone screen. He watched as she bit the inside of her cheek and shrugged. “I don’t know. I felt bad, I guess.”

“But,” he shook his head, dumbfounded. “I was a jerk to you.”

Riley let out a small laugh and locked her phone before letting it drop into her lap. “Yeah. You were,” she said, looking out the window. “But you seemed to be having a rough day. And being alone in a big city…I guess I can see why it’d suck.”

He studied her, thoughtfully and with a slight twinge of guilt about the way he’d acted towards her earlier. He’d have to apologize for that later, make it up if he could. He wondered vaguely if she liked whiskey.

“What’s your name?” he asked. The question was innocent enough.

It got her to finally turn towards him brows raised. “Riley,” she said. “Riley Cole.”

“Drake.” He held out his hand to her, feeling obliged to introduce himself to this stranger after she’d helped and put up with him. Riley examined his hand briefly before grasping it, her smaller hand easily fitting into his.

Letting go of his hand, she faced forward in her seat again. “So, Drake… Do you even know what you’re doing on this bus?”

He startled her with a short laugh, a low rumble in his throat. “Not a clue,” Drake admitted. “I figured that if I rode around long enough, I’d find a bar or something.”

Riley looked at him incredulously. “Seriously?”

“What?“

“You come all the way to New York City, and you just want to spend the night in a bar?” Riley couldn’t imagine choosing a bar over the New York night life. Sure, she could appreciate a good drink with good company, but was he actually serious? She worked in a bar and there was nothing glorious about it.

Drake shrugged. “You got a better plan, Cole?”

“Only about a million…” she muttered, shaking her head.

Suddenly, an idea began to form. A ridiculous, stupid, and not-thought-out-at-all idea at that. But when Riley looked up at him, she couldn’t imagine just leaving him to spend the night in some bar. And as the familiar street signs and buildings came into view around her, she realized her stop was coming up. It was now or never.

“Look,” Riley said, standing up and adjusting her jacket before grabbing her suitcase. “Why don’t you let me show you around?”

“Wait, what?” Drake’s eyebrows shot up, mouth slightly agape as he swung his legs out into the aisle to let her through. “Really? Why?”

“Apparently, I’m not done pitying you,” she muttered, not quite able to believe she was doing this either. “I might be picking up a shift tonight, but afterwards… Well, it’d be a damn shame if you came all this way and never got to see the good parts of the city.”

“I couldn’t ask…Cole, are you sure about this?” Drake asked as the bus came to a halt. Suddenly, many of the other passengers came to life, standing and pushing their way towards the front or rear bus exits.

“As sure as I can be,” she told him over her shoulder as she fell in step with the crowd. “Just meet me after I’m done and I promise, you won’t hate the city as much as you do now.”

“I – wait!” Drake abruptly stood up and called after her as she stepped off the last stair and onto the curb. “How am I supposed to…?”

His voice got lost in the city sounds, people talking, dogs barking, and cars honking. Desperately, he tried to push his way closer to a window she could hear him out of, but it was no use.

It wasn’t until the doors sealed shut and the bus’s engine sputtered off that she realized.

He had no idea where to find her, no way to contact her.

Riley whirled around, lips calling after the bus to wait but it was already lumbering down the block. She groaned, slapping her palm against her forehead and cursing her own stupidity. After checking her watch and weighing her options, Riley’s shoulders slumped and she turned away to go up the stairs to her apartment building. Even if she went after him and, by some miracle, actually found him, she’d probably never make it to Kismet on time.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, even though he was long gone. Guilt gnawed away at the insides of her stomach and she could have sworn her feet felt just a little heavier than they had before.

Back on the bus, Drake ran his hands through his hair, tugging at the ends as he stared through the window where he’d last seen Cole. Despite his yelling, she hadn’t heard him. And he was pretty sure the universe was just playing one big joke on him as she stopped and turned, the realization dawning on her face, after the bus pulled away.

“Of course,” he muttered, shaking his head as he went back to his seat. Of course, this happened to him. It was just his luck that he’d wind up alone in one of the busiest cities in the world and the only person who finally started to help him just slipped away.

As Drake sat back, he sighed out heavily and glanced over at the seat Riley had occupied less than a minute ago. He let his hands drop into his lap and was about to face forward again when something else caught his eye.

A scribbled-on napkin with an inky thumbprint smudged on the corner.

Kismet. 8 PM.

Drake read it and reread it a few times, his thumb brushing over the hasty scrawl and then settling his larger thumb over the smaller print. A faint smile just barely etched its way onto his face as he pocketed the napkin and pulled out his phone, looking up directions.

(so how about that for a first story? tagging @thedrakeside )

#yes i'm #cliche #i actually don't know how i feel about this #but imma roll with it

[the-record-columns]

June 19, 2019: Columns

The ‘World’s Hottest Pepper’

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

We are blessed in Wilkes to have Farmers' Markets so readily available to us.  

On Fridays from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., a group of vendors gather in front of the YMCA on Hwy. 268 in Wilkesboro. Then, on Tuesdays from 3:30 p.m. -5:30 p.m., and Saturday mornings 7:30 a.m. until noon, the Farmers' Market in North Wilkesboro is held at the Yadkin Valley Marketplace on the CBD Loop in Downtown North Wilkesboro.  As more and more fruits and vegetables come in, each week they should just continue to get better and better as the season progresses.

Today I want to mention a couple of purchases I made on Tuesday afternoon of last week at the North Wilkesboro Market.  As I perused the various tables, I stopped and bought a bag of peaches from Tom Lowe with the Brushy Mountain Orchard at the crest of Kilby Gap on Hwy 16 South. While there we also spent a few minutes remembering his wonderful parents, the late Jane and Caney Lowe.

As I moved on down the line, I stopped to speak to Earth and Creations owner Brenda Dembowski of Roaring River, who sells an assortment of goodies, all handmade with locally grown fruits and vegetables.  As we talked, I noticed a few jars of chow chow, and, knowing that I had a pot of pinto beans about ready for dinner, I inquired about the chow chow. As I picked up a pint jar, Brenda smiled and asked, "Do you like your chow chow hot?'

"The hotter the better," I answered.

She went on to say that this stuff was really hot, and I went on to tell her that, in effect, I was tougher than woodpecker lips when it came to spicy foods and she assured me I had better be.

By now I had read the label and it  said "Carolina Reaper," and when I inquired about that, Brenda said it was one of the hottest peppers ever.

Now, I will confess that a very limited number of folks are aware of the ONE time I ordered something so hot I could only eat half of it.  I really think I was set up, and I did eat the rest of it the next day, so nothing was wasted.  However, with that episode in mind, I must confess that I began my dinner that evening with a bit of apprehension that I may have again let my mouth overload by butt, as the saying goes.

Well, the Carolina Reaper Chow Chow was as advertised, hot, really hot; but good -it was the perfect thing to go with a good ole' pot pinto beans.  As of this writing, I have eaten about half the jar, and can assure you I will not waste a bit of it.  My curiosity got the best of me and I checked out this pepper and found that it is listed in the Guinness Book of World  Records as the "World's Hottest Pepper," and by a long shot, at that. Actually, the fist time I typed Carolina Reaper onto the search bar a product called Blair's Ultra Death Sauce popped up.

Turns out that the pepper was developed by a man named "Smokin'" Ed Currie who owns the PuckerButt Pepper Company (no kidding) in Fort Mill, S.C. It has often been described as the initial bite actually being sweet and then turning into molten lava. It has been used to spice up any number of dishes, giving heat without changing the flavor of the original dish.

It is really becoming downright popular, and I've got to say, that Carolina Reaper Chow Chow is some good stuff.

Netanyahu Draws Strength from the Bible

By EARL COX

Special to The Record

Few people know that Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu readily admits that he draws his strength from the Bible.  Some years back Netanyahu was interviewed on CNN.  Here's an excerpt: “You live in the center of a hostile world. Are you ever able to relax?” To which the Prime Minister replied: “Yes, Sir, I am. Every Saturday on our Sabbath, I have a day off. So every Saturday, I take an hour and a half to read the Bible. I draw enormous strength as well as relaxation from this quiet time.” 

As Christians, we are greatly encouraged by this admission. It is great to know that the Prime Minister of Israel faithfully spends time in the Bible, since we believe it is vitally important to understand Israel — past, present and future. The divine influence of the God of Israel is the key to the history of the Jewish people and their nation, Israel. 

The interview started off with the question, “Why can’t you and the Palestinian Arabs get together?” The Prime Minister answered, “The basic problem is their failure to recognize our Jewish state.” He continued, “I am prepared to make peace with the Palestinians as we did with Egypt and with Jordan. I am prepared to have a demilitarized Palestinian state existing next to Israel. And I am prepared to meet with the Palestinians without any pre-conditions.”

The interviewer added, “So you do favor having a Palestinian state?” Netanyahu answered, “Yes, but not a state that will keep firing rockets and missiles into our land. It will have to be a demilitarized, peaceful state. And of course, they will have to recognize our state.”

When asked if he would sit down and negotiate with Hamas, Netanyahu replied: “I will sit down with anyone who will recognize our state. As you know, Hamas has refused to do that. They are true terrorists who even terrorize their own people in Gaza.” He added, “I want the world to look at what we have done in the past few years to help the Palestinians in the West Bank. We have helped them in so many ways economically.”

The interviewer went on to state that Israel’s image around the world is constantly under attack and that has to be troublesome to Israel. Netanyahu stressed that there is a big difference between the world’s perceptions and reality, saying, “Israel has suffered oppression ever since its independence, and we have never had one day of real peace, yet the world continues to see us as oppressors.” He then added, “But we are a people of peace. We have always wanted peace with our neighbors, and we still do. The truth is, they do not seem to want peace with us.”

Next came the question, “How much do you fear Iran’s intentions to destroy you?” The Prime Minister replied,  “We have learned from history to take seriously their calls to destroy the Jewish State."

Netanyahu was then asked, “Would you attack Iran?” He replied, “We will always reserve the right to defend ourselves. We will always keep all options on the table.” He went on to say, “Iran is the greatest threat to humanity today. It is important to the whole world that we do not allow the most dangerous weapons in the world fall into the hands of, or be manufactured by,  the most dangerous people in the world.... We cannot trust Iran to be peaceful.”

“In your lifetime," the interviewer asked, "do you think you will see peace in the Middle East?” The Prime Minister answered: “I will say yes, with conviction. Not in all of the Middle East, but I think we will have peace with the Palestinians.” He stressed, “It will take a lot of courage. We are ready now, and we hope that the Palestinians will soon also respond with the same courage.”  

With Trump's "Deal of the Century" soon to be unveiled, the world will have a chance to see if the Palestinians are viable partners at the negotiating table or if Israel will again "go it alone" as they did back in 2005 with the Gaza Disengagement. 

 Up the Mountain

By CARL WHITE

Life in the Carolinas

It was a perfect time to visit the mountains. It always seems to be 10 to 15 degrees cooler than the foothills and even more so compared to the Sand Hills and Low Country.

Clear skies with a few clouds for a bit of contrast were above, and a winding county road was my path up the mountain to visit the quaint little town of Sparta.

When driving, I often listen to podcasts or CD’s that artists have sent or given me after or before an interview. On this day, I was enjoying the music of the group The Arcadian Wild, and as I grew closer to my destination, I noticed an increased sense of calm.

As I became mindful of this reality, the song Millstatt played with lyrics, “This must be where God comes to rest.” It was one of those moments when you feel yourself smiling, and life seems to balance out a bit.

Based on the never-ending request list, I’m not sure if God has a lot of time for much resting; however, I am confident that the rest of us are indeed most likely better off when we take time to rest, refuel and reflect. It may not be that way for everyone, but it is for me.

Soon I found myself on Main Street in Sparta. Sparta is one of those mountain towns that you are glad you found. If you like the idea of quaint streets, good people, great food options and a slower pace, then Sparta is a place for you to visit.

On this trip, I visited several of the shops in town including a charming used bookstore that always seems to have a good deal on something I can add to my Carolinas reference book. And with the Backwoods Beans Coffee Shop right down the street, it’s easy to be satisfied.

I cannot stress enough the importance of slowing down when visiting small towns in the Carolinas. When we slow down, we reap the benefits of uncovering great treasures of all sorts and delightful interactions with locals and visitors alike.  

It was great visiting with Bob Bamberg, the current editor of the Alleghany News. They have been around since 1889, and they are still publishing a newspaper today. They have seen it all, or at least most of it.

A visit to the Visitors Center and Chamber of Commerce was enjoyable. I learned a lot from Executive Director Katee Hettleman, who also introduced me to “Gertie,” the artistic interactive alpaca. Sparta is known for its Fiber enthusiasts, so much so that they now host the annual Blue Ridge Fiber Fest that attracts attendees from multiple states.

There are several events throughout the year in Sparta, so if your travels bring you to this mountain town on event days, you will get a nice bonus for your travel journal.

Good news for the people of Sparta and us guests. Within a year or so, their new Street Scape program should be finished. It’s always nice to see history preserved and protected for the future.

I look forward to my next visit up the mountain, and you never know who might be taking their rest at higher elevations.