Who's ready for my Master Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss Crepus Theory!!
I originally posted this over at Hoyolab and people there seemed to really like my favorite joke theory that Crepus just tries to gaslight the whole of Mondstadt right after obtaining Kaeya
Majority of this will be the same but with little tweaks for the wonderful tumblr audience
This joke stems from Kaeya's introduction:
and the use of the word "rumored"
Cause it's not like it said beyond Teyvat or the seven nations just Mondstadt
And I mean like c'mon how many families are living off the grid in Mondstadt
(Actually... Don't answer that I forgot Glory's boyfriend is just
Out there in the bush with Razor...)
Initially I had the idea of Crepus walking around the markets one day carrying Kaeya with Diluc beside him running into Varka who asks:
"Who's the boy?"
"You mean my son?"
"Not Diluc the boy you're carrying"
"I have two sons? You know this??"
But then the Caribert quest came out mentioning Kaeya ran away from home near immediately and was dragged home by Crepus just as fast and it became even funnier
Cause imagine you're by the docks one day and richest man in town gets off the boat with no cargo but instead a tiny child you may not have seen before that Crepus seems to be very cross with at the moment and threatening to turn him into a leash kid if he runs off again
In a small town that loves gossip do you know how fast that information is spreading? Cause I do and Varka's knocking on Crepus's door 30 minutes later like:
"Is this what we're doing? We're just taking kids now?"
Both paths lead to Varka asking where Kaeya comes from and getting hit with a
"I think you're a bit too old to still be confused about the birds and the bees Varka"
Varka getting frustrated to the point he just starts demanding Kaeya tell him what's up
Love to see him following in his fathers footsteps of stressing Varka the fuck out
And upon hearing how his birth father left for juice and didn't return Varka went
"Good! That was ALL I needed to know!!"
Follow ups on if his father intended to abandon him or got lost in the storm and needed a search party?
Don't care!! You weren't kidnapped!!
Welcome to the knights! 🤝
Which bringing it back to it only being a rumor
In a town of alcoholics, who's gonna call out the one guy with the winery?
Here's some add ons that got sparked from the comment section 😘
Bonus panels would have included Varka showing up with Rosaria one day mimicking Crepus about "wHaT you ForGot I haD a Kid" sparking a trend within the community of just adopting random children to the point posters are made saying "In Barbatos name: See a child Take a child"
Alice seeing it and pulling a "when in rome" tucking both Albedo and Diluc(who is yelling he is an adult) under her arms and telling Klee if she ever sees someone in need of a mom let her know she'll send over the paperwork right away
And then the last bonus: Venti wakes up, walks in through the gate while playing a tune, and stops when he sees the poster, not sure if he needs to start yet another revolution, or if this one is fine actually
I imagine the posters had to be taken down because visitors were losing their kids left and right and the solution of parents pinning a note saying "not dead & still want custody" to their kids shirt didn't catch on but the saying still lives strong in the hearts of Mondstadt's citizens I mean look Bennett and his 27 dads Mondstadt may have a lot of orphans but the demand is even higher
Comment on original post:
"I have a headcanon where Kaeya fooled first Crepus, then the rest of Mondstadt but.this is too funny!! I want to see this happening!"
Which prompted one of my new favorite lines at the end:
"Wait by fool Crepus first do you mean like Crepus finding him out in the storm bringing him inside to ask him where he lives and Kaeya's just
"? I live here? You adopted me? Are you feeling okay?"
Cause I'm absolutely cry laughing over this that's so good but that also means when Kaeya runs away Crepus is just
"hey no no l'm not misplacing you a second time come home" "
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WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH KAEYA AND VENTI?? Like, of all the relationships I want explored in genshin theirs is the most fascinating to me. Do they know who the other is in relation to their origins? Are they both in the dark? Does one know and the other doesn’t? What are their real feelings towards the other person, not just the expressed ones based around their personas? Why was Kaeya left in Mondstadt specifically and does Venti have any thoughts on the matter? Are we gonna get a big reveal scene where Venti shows himself as Barbatos and Kaeya is like ‘AYO WHAT THE FUCK’? Are we gonna get one where it’s vice-versa and Venti loses it onscreen?
Does Kaeya know that Venti is Barbatos and is friendly with him regardless? Or is it to get more info on the Archon? Or is it to perhaps ingratiate himself to Venti in hopes of not fucking dying like literally almost everyone else? Is he completely unaware and if Venti admits his identity to Kaeya that will be yet another instance where Kaeya’s trust has been broken by someone close to him? Or will he lash out at Venti because it is heavily implied that the Abyss Order/Fatui/tbh everybody related to Khaenri’ah in some way hates Barbatos in particular for some reason? Or will he just go on as normal in hopes that Venti doesn’t recognize Kaeya as Khaenri’an? Or will he have a fucking panic attack immediately because bro I would too if one of the people who killed-or-worsed literally my entire nation just showed up and oh no he was my fucking drinking buddy?
Does Venti know that Kaeya is an Alberich and simply not care? Or is he pitiful of the man whose freedom was restricted at a very young age? Or does he feel intense guilt stemming from whatever the fuck he did in Khaenri’ah because SERIOUSLY WHY DO KHAENRI’AH-RELATED GROUPS SEEM TO HATE BARBATOS IN PARTICULAR? Or is he perhaps afraid of what Kaeya might do to his nation and hopes to get as close to Kaeya as he can to prevent anything from happening? Did Venti always know that Kaeya was there even during his sleep? Did he wake up and wander into the city and suddenly BOOM, DESCENDENT OF THE ABYSS ORDER IS YOUR CAVALRY CAPTAIN AND YOU CANNOT DO SHIT ABOUT IT? Does Venti not know that Kaeya is an Alberich/Khaenri’an and are we going to get a big reveal wherein Venti will once again be placed in a position where he might have to compromise his identity in order to protect the greater good? Or will he try to kill Kaeya because honestly if I took part in the mass-destruction of an entire civilization I would assume that if somebody reveals themself as a part of that civilization that they’re here for revenge? Or will he treat it like it’s no big deal because he already knew/doesn’t care because Kaeya has made it clear that he’s loyal to Mondstadt? Or will he collapse into a big puddle of guilt and beg forgiveness for everything that’s happened because, when you really think about it, none of Kaeya’s suffering would have ever occurred if Celestia hadn’t nuked Khaenri’ah? Even outside of the other bullshit, Kaeya’s freedom was restricted at a very young age due to the actions of Celestia which Venti played a direct part in. Does Venti feel guilty for this or like he’s wound up betraying his own value? Does KAEYA feel that way?
THEY DO NOT HAVE VOICELINES ABOUT EACH OTHER! Kaeya and Venti get them for such a menagerie of Mondstadt characters (including ones they never even interact with) that the fact they don’t have them for each other drives me insane. That HAS to be intentional, why the fuck do y’all not talk about each other when you should probably have THE MOST AMOUNT OF THINGS TO SAY ABOUT EACH OTHER?! They are making me crazy. LET THEM INTERACT AND BE HONEST WITH EACH OTHER! WHERE ARE THE FICS WHERE THEY REVEAL THEIR IDENTITIES/LITERALLY ANYTHING RELATED TO THEIR HIDDEN IDENTITIES HAPPEN AND THE OTHER REACTS TO IT?? WHERE ARE THEY?? They are easily the most fascinating yet utterly unexplored dynamic in Genshin. I see more fics about Childe and Kaeya interacting than Venti and Kaeya and I get it and no hate BUT WHAT THE HELL MAN?!
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I love your Genshin lore takes, any interesting hcs/AUs/lore bits you'd like to share? Also, amazing art!
AA!!!!
That makes me so happy to hear actually??? THank you???? I love getting to ramble about genshin or stuff I'm into i'm just often too shy asldfkaslfalsgsdgdsdgsg so thank you!!!!! ;;v;; AND THANKS I'M GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART TOO!!!!!! ;;v;; <3 <3 <3
OOOoooh HMMM, I've been more into TWST and Trigun Recently so let me dig up my braincells to think about it dfLSJFLSDJGLSDGD
Throwing stuff below the cut cause this could get LONG
Well on the subject of Itto, I headcanon him being 6'6 ft tall... Why??? Because it makes his voiceline about everybody shorter than him being a child really funny. 🤣
Also because he beeg and you can't convince me otherwise SDLFJSDLJGSLDGSD
OOOOH Okay this one is very much a headcanon i have for pure self indulgence:
So my two genshin blorbos of main focus are Zhongli and Diluc right?
I like to headcanon that, at some point after Diluc was nearly killed by the harbingers, he collapsed somewhere near Liyue harbor (His injuries probably weren't directly related to the Harbinger ones, tho it depends on the amount of time it's taken between That incident and him being in Liyue, I think I came up with this idea LONG before i really understood a lot of what Diluc actually did away from home xD) he's found and carried to Liyue, where he's tended to, probably by Baizhu cause I love Baizhu, and recovers.
Its here he's visited by Zhongli.
Zhongli knew Crepus.
Not super well! They weren't besties or nothin, but Crepus would be in Liyue, and Zhongli would be in Liyue, both of them having some level of prestige, Zhongli through his job and Crepus through his Titles, ended up meeting.
They would talk and of course that means Zhongli heard about Diluc. Beyond that even, Zhongli was probably vaguely aware of Diluc's existence just from the fact that Crepus is a Ragnvindr, which means gossip/news on his family spreads potentially across the globe. (And maybe Zhongli checked in once in a while out of honor to a dear friend he hadn't seen in five hundred years...)
ANYWAYS. Zhongli introduces himself and mentions he knew Crepus. A grieving Diluc probably asks for more information without really knowing if he wants more info or not.
Its through this that Zhongli learns of Crepus's passing, and Diluc being less well put together from his injuries, ends up confessing to having hurt Kaeya.
He despairs of ever being able to make up for it, to which Zhongli is surprisingly quiet and attentive before finally speaking up:
"...Life is short, like the flower, it blooms for a season, blossoms in all its color and beauty, and then it shrivels away on the winds, nothing left of it but the Sweetness of memory."
He pauses.
"If you care about your brother, than return to him, confess your wrong doings, and don't let the burden of you mistakes carry until such a time as the ability to do something about them is force-ably taken away from your hands."
The mans smile is soft, but sad. Not in a pitying way, and not in a way that is even directed at Diluc, if anything, he seems thousands of miles away.
"There are fewer burdens, and fewer regrets, that can weigh heavier."
This of course creates a fun dynamic to play around with if Lumine or other events drag Diluc to Liyue later >:D
As for AU's I can give you two I've dwelled on!:
Number one is an Inazuma rewrite, but I bring in a party of my chosing. I started this one before I played the game, so I didn't exaclty understand what went down in the INazuma plot, but Man I was having fun so xD
THe party of choice in this case was Zhongli, Diluc, Thoma, and of course Lumine.
I had fun with this idea because it allowed Zhongli and Diluc to function in the plot, and Thoma would be WAAAAY more involved as well. I didn't iron out Loads of details, but I wanted there to be a big confrontation between Lumine and Zhongli based off the fact that Azhdaha's quest happened before Inazuma, and before that was uh.
THe reveal of Khaenri'ah.
Needless to say Lumine's not exactly feeling the greatest about Zhongli. But she considers him a friend, or at least wants too.
Zhongli is dealing with the sting of a pre-inazuma plot confrontation from Lumine, where she confessed that she'd have a hard time trusting him if he kept keeping secrets and he couldn't explain himself.
The two of them were planned to get into a huge fight that ALMOST gets physical. But Diluc stops them (Something something he knows making the mistake of attacking someone you love out of fear and broken trust 🙃)
This ends up splitting the party for a while, Diluc going off with Zhongli, and Thoma staying with Lumine.
Ultimately I wanted this to end with Zhongli getting to have a bit Showdown with Raiden Shogun, essentially kinda getting to brute force his way into her grief. I always loved the idea of the woman who can't move on from grief talking with the man who has suffered so much grief but still lives, this would kinda allow that, it would also allow for Zhongli to be a little bit of a father figure to Ei in her frustrations and grief.
Also it would be hilarious if Inazuma kinda knew Rex Lapis was alive... but he kinda saved all their butts, so nobody's going to out him xD
This would essentially spiral into a lot of canon divergence plots and development for the cast of characters that's just, not in canon? But man I still think it'd be so fun :D
Also Diluc and Ei eventually become friends through this adsflJSFLSJDLGJSLDGJSDGSDG. I think they could help each other :)
The SECOND AU is one where, Diluc, on his journey, ends up getting stuck in Inazuma before he can get home.
So diluc is visionless, Has the Delusion, and is not in good health.
Itto ends up finding him passed out on a beach, drags him back to Granny Oni's, and his gang nurse him back to health all while assuming Diluc was a victim of the Vision hunt decree (i think the vision hunt decree is pretty recent in canon?? This would be an AU where the timeline got bumped up, probably Raiden starts off a lot slower with the vision hunts, only taking a few of them once in a great while to further "eternity" Until she spirals bad enough to start taking them all.... IDK its rough but workable maybe xD)
THis AU is mostly for letting Itto bully Diluc into loving himself among other things xD and the angst of it taking even longer for Diluc and Kaeya to reunite......
WHich i would defo make them reunite when Lumine comes over to finally end the Vision hunt decree soooooooooo >:3
Diluc ends up getting adopted by the Arataki gang, by EVERY member, and he's not happy about it (He is, he's just a freaking tsundere)
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Welp, the time had come. After 5 months it was finally time to pull for Navia. I’ve saved 200+ wishes fir her and skipped Lyney, Wriothesly, and Furina for her. And yet… here's what I got…
I WON THE 50/50 LES GOOOOOOO
It was actually pretty straightforward; I did two ten pulls and won myself best girl. I also got Rosaria’s c1 and Candace’s c5, which I greatly appreciate. I didn’t even have to cut into the actual primos that I saved, the wishes I used were from Archon quests and such. Its great, I get to save up for anyone I wish without needing to grind too hard. Overall, I’m happy :)
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