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#anyways pray for me im so tired and sick :(
vraska-theunseen · 13 days
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the bible is so boring what's the ideal size of paper for rolling joints
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ozlices · 8 months
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btw it is our little's chosen birthday today since it's also emu's bday & not a single person has wished them happy birthday even with them being devastated in our discord status so 🙃it'd mean a lot to them to come back from their sad nap to ppl wishing them happy bday
#mine#we're not saying their name or alias publicly on our acc that's pushing it#but like. i got permission from our primary protector to say smth bc they're genuinely devastated & we're all fucking pissed.#like they literally. told multiple ppl when they picked it out. & were already hurt when they didn't wake up to anything#& then made our status a vent & still. not a single person has said anything. like. idk. im rly pissed idek what to do w myself.#they've been put through so much bullshit this yr w being treated like shit & made to feel just as shitty as we all do. it sucks.#we're all pissed & hurt on their behalf & our own & each other's. i just. idk.#like they say u know who ur real friends are when ur hurting & it's like. damn not even our little has anyone who can be arsed#to give a genuine damn & say anything to them when they're crying on their bday they excitedly chose???? & looked forward to???#they literally were begging & praying to get attention today but instead it's been mostly me & our protector out bc they're so devastated.#idk what to do or say anymore i cant even bring myself to say anything directly to anyone.#im sick of watching not even our little be spared from being treated like shit for being depressed considering the circumstances bruh.#ANYWAY... they're in the back of the headspace taking a nap w another protector to try to cheer up a bit. so.#wish them happy bday and wish them well smth idk just take the load off all this loneliness bc it's suffocating for ALL of us#but it def hurts them the most and it sucks. and im tired. and pissed.
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piplupod · 6 months
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(can i please get a waffle voice): can i PLEASE having a coping mechanism that doesnt turn maladaptive. can i PLEAAASE have just one !!! i am Begging you, on my hands and knees !!!!! AUGH
#tfw your coping mechanism detaches you from reality and now you're watching yourself warily to make sure u dont fall into That Pit again#skirting around the edge and unhooking my claws from the coping mechanism and holding it gingerly with the tips of my fingers#praying i do not have to put it down entirely. because man..... its slim pickings around here for shit that actually Works fhfjdkl#the issue with reality being nigh unbearable ... is that you cannot bear reality. and thus detach. but u cannot go too far away from it.#or else Bad Shit happens. that i don't especially want to experience again fhdjdkdl#it'd be so cool to have a brain that didnt do this. so i could just freely la-dee-da along with fun things#instead of the fun things turning Bad bc they went too far fjfkdl#or having to keep a very close eye on myself when i get into new things bc i can see they have the potential to go badly for Me w my brain#sobbing forever honestly. i feel awful. this sucks shit. im trying to be funny about it to cope but im Upset fjfjddkl#im so sick of this type of thing fjdkdl I wish i could just like... be okay. for a while. without it going badly like this fjfkfl#i thought maybe i was on the up finally but nooooo it's just bc i was getting too far from holding onto reality properly#god i hate this pattern. im so fucking angry w it tbh fjfkfl i cannot believe i let myself think this was going to be different fjfkfl#but anyways!! onwards we march and hopefully i figure smth out fjfkdl im uhhhh very tired#going to crawl into bed at the ripe time of 8:30pm and just go listen to music and draw or smth idk fjfkfl this is frustrating#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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storm-of-feathers · 1 year
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playing with god by pouring out nyquil and whatever comes out is what i take
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vampykween · 5 months
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toxic ex(?)husband!simon where he's all alone in his home, wife moved out across the city with their two girls, steps on something on the carpet and its the earring the missus lost a few days ago while moving out. it was a simple diamond stud earring, the pair being a gift from him during date night, once upon a time a long long time ago. he might bawl or lose himself in alcohol. or come crawling back; people change after all, right?
simon would actually spiral so hard over this. he's left alone in a house that's far too big, empty with all the furniture you took, along with all the laughter and joy you and the girls brought to the home. he hangs onto the earring as he storms around every corner of the house as if that'll make his girls materialize right in front of him. he's so fucking angry at himself. he vowed to be better than his father, and sure he doesn't drink himself under the table and smack around his family, but was he really any better?
he thinks about cracking open a bottle of Kentucky, the one you got him for his birthday, even though he's always insisted on not doing gifts (you always got him one anyway). if he drinks away the pain, perhaps it'll ease the ache of losing his family (again, only this time it really was his fault), but then he sees your face flash across his mind and he knew you'd hate for him to drown himself in alcohol; at least he hoped you cared, he wasn't sure if you really did anymore and he can't even blame you.
after he's sufficiently drunk, he decides he didn't even care if he drank himself to death in his now empty living room, he considers calling you. it isn't too late, only half past ten, so he knows you're still up; he's not sure what he would even say though. there aren't enough apologies in the world to win you back, you've made that abundantly clear, but god he misses your voice. the voice that nagged at him, that yelled at him, that kissed him with so much love. how could he have taken you for granted? he knows you'll get onto him about calling so late when it's not about the girls, but he needs you so badly it hurts.
"simon?" he lets out a drawn-out sigh of relief, he hadn't expected you to answer really. he goes to respond, but it feels like every word is lodged in his throat. "si, im tired. i really can't with this," you reply tiredness was evident in your tone. he hoped the girls weren't being too much for you, then again it's not like he was ever much more help when you all were under one roof. the way you whispered out the shortened version of his name made his heart race, perhaps this phone call would go much better than he expected.
he finally finds his voice after a moment, "baby... i miss you," he slurs out. he's not sure what he's expecting you to say back.
"you really have a knack for being too little too late, simon. goodnight, and please don't call me like this again. you don't get to drunkenly pour your heart out to me now." well that was definitely not what he wanted you to say. there's an edge to your voice that, despite the situation, sends him reeling. he secretly prays that this will all be some sick nightmare, that he'll wake up, roll over, and pull you into his arms. except he's awake, standing drunk and alone in a house that no longer feels like home.
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safetycar-restart · 1 year
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i may have lost uno and been teamed up against five times at three oclock this morining, but i am one happy girl. i’m so inlove with two brunette, light eyes, atleast 6 inches taller, funny sweet boys. and they’re both a massive part of my life. AND ONE OF THEM IS CHARLES MF LECLERC.
race started, sam bullying me (redbull fan and im ferrari gal). felt sick to my stomach. last ten laps. felt sick to my stomach. when he came second - crying. actually jumping up and down crying. the donuts with max - sobbing my heart out on the floor lay like a starfish being laughed at. seb’s dotd and speech - do no get me started.
charles fucking killed it and he deserves all the head pats and snuggles in the world. that’s all he wants tonight. he knows he didn’t win. but who the fuck cares. he won his own battle and did it fair and square. not to mention he did it looking amazing too. so yeah - tonight is a soft, tired night. just lay together watching some sappy film you both love. him lay with his back to your chest just happily talking away. buzzing whilst eating the room service you ordered. and just to tire him out one last time before bed - a lazy, sloppy, cute handjob where he just keeps moaning at the praise being whispered in his ears. then falling asleep just wrapped around eachother.
(side note, he’d have your name on his helmet also)
-🍁
You’re so right about this!!!! I also love your description of your race experience, you’re so valid for that. But yes yes anyway let’s talk about Charles!!
The team things charles wants to go out and celebrate and while he is excited, he’s mostly just relieved? The season really took its tole and then some on him and he hasn’t been able to actually relax in so long, hasn’t been able to have a movie night without stressing or be your giggly little boy or make you lunch or cuddle with you for hours.
He’s just… he’s missed all the calm moments between the two of you. Sure he’s had some of them, but they’ve always been you trying to calm Charles down and look after. He just wants an evening where you can both chill together. That’s what he wants for his celebration (and okay yeah a bottle of champagne can be split between you two).
He does, however, pay for the entire team to go out? He wants everyone who wants to go out and have a good time to do it free of charge because they’ve all more than earned it.
But as for himself… it’s straight back to the hotel.
You and him order far too much room service, none of which is on his diet but that’s fine because the season is finally over.
Originally Charles wanted to do a movie night, but then he was cuddled in bed with you, sharing the food you ordered and suddenly all he wanted was just to chat? He can’t remember the last time he was relaxed enough to talk shit with you for hours and it’s exactly what he wants.
The only topic not talked about is F1. There is zero motorsport talk whatsoever.
And to be honest half of what’s discussed is nonsense (because no Charles, penguins are not birds of pray), but it’s just the nicest thing. And of course he’s always cuddled close to you, giggling whenever you slip your hand under his soft shirt to tickle or pinch him.
He gets a little hard towards the ends of the night, a result of being so relaxed and so close to you. You’re more than happy to slip your hand into his boxers and give him a slow hand job until he makes a mess in his boxers.
He’s so sweet the entire time, letting out little gasps and whines as he slowly rocks his hips into your hand. You praise him too of course, which only makes it more intense.
And then you remove his boxers, using the fabric to clean off any cum that’s on him and then throw them off the bed to be dealt with in the morning because Charles is now ready to sleep.
He sleeps against your chest of course, and when he wakes he can’t wait to get out of there and on holiday.
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momiamtired · 1 month
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i think this world just plays sick jokes with me. i really dont think i will be able to survive if ill continue to live like this. its not that bad i mean i have water, food, house, im studying. its just that i know what i could have. its unfair. i cant believe how unfair this world is. i know some people struggle much more but tbh i cant give a shit ab other people right now. my mental health was awful even before going to this country but right now i just cant believe how awful this all idea with abroad education could be. i had so much hope of going to see my family this summer, to see my cat, my friends, my friends who are able to come to my country only this summer. i just want to be a kid again. i just want to be free again. i just want to be happy again. im tired of all of this im tired so so so much. i have my finals soon. i guess i wont be able to even smile at that period. i miss my previous life. i never thought this all could become like this, my mind is going crazy too. my dad had ocd and it inherited to me ig so i always struggled with anxiety. now my mind tries to explain everythhing that happens to me with some logic or pattern and it feels like im going crazy. i pray every night even tho i dont believe in god. its just my mind trying to tell me that this world can not be that cruel and 100% there is some explanation to what is happening to me. i remember last time i experienced something like this when i was 15 and war only started and i would sit all day in my phone constantly and i cried a lot. i hated my life there bc i didnt do anything except sitting in the phone all time and i lived like this for 2 month i believe? i guess the situation rn is not that bad. i play games with my friends, i have money and tasty food and i dont feel like a failure like i lfelt back there. it just for some reason when things start to get a tiny little bit better to me for some reason everything is ruining and things get so bad that i literraly want to kill myself. i may be too confidant saying this but i believe that if i get some more pressure on my life i will do it. i just cant keep living like this. i met a boy recently and everything was so good. it was one of little to no good moments i experienced here. then he started ignoring me. i have an awful self esteem, i never had a bf or been ignored by guys. i guess i see myself as absolute trash ugly cow and then for some reason be surprised seeing boys not paying me that much attention. then i got a letter that i need to do my biometrics. basically it means that i cant go home anymore. fuck there is car in front of my house i swear to god is this is my roommate i would believe that god is real and he is a fucking satan. i want to pee really bad too and my other roommate washing rn. with her bestfriend waiting for her in her room. i want friends too. she is listening to some pop music. i hate americans i wish they all could die. why some peopel experience what i experience and some of them live like this. i will never believe that she had troubles at least as bad as i had. i know it sounds like im some kind of a slave and pity myself but this is true. and i pity myself. i guess its normal to pity myself when the whole world is just fucking ur ass like a monster. anyways, i cant go back to my country(my only chanse of being happy in this year and the reason why i keep wking up), i hate myself, i hate my appearence, i hate all people around me, im jealous of all of them even when its something small, im failing all of my classes, i dont have friends, the only boy i thopught i was good enough for and we had a good time and i genuanly liked him just ignored me and i decided to give him another chance and we are supposed to meet tomorrow but he said he will tell me when yesterday at the evening or today in the morning and he didnt tell me anything so i guess i lost him too, i have severe anxiety, i have money anxiety?, i dont know english and every time i speak with someone i feel so embarresed bc i always thinks i did something wrong or said something so they think
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bunnyboys · 4 years
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x
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chocoenvy · 2 years
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I CANT GET WHAT YOU SAID ABT THE SOFT AU AND IMPOSTER AU OUT OF MY HEAD PLEASE imagine reader from the imposter just so sick and tired of being chased and then being hounded to accept the morons' apologies so they just,,, go somewhere and literally pray to get out and maybe Teyvat or whatever somehow makes god!reader hear their prayer so they just straight up take imposter!reader into their world and treat them like a treasures sibling/child so yknow the cult over there would not dare even think about upsetting imposter reader kfnmfkfk
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!
im a sucker for the reader having a child/puppet/spawn au thing floating around it's just *chef's kiss*
and with this au, when the imposter!reader goes to god!reader's world they're treated with upmost respect. Equal to that of god!reader. They look alike and are almost the same person.
God!reader will make sure that imposter!reader is taken very good care of because what happened to them was just so bad! They feel awful for it and the paternal instincts are kicking into overdrive.
"You are my child now, and I can and will ground you if you won't love yourself/j"
"TEVYAT! This is my child! Look at my child :D i love my child please say you love my child too! Say. It."
Kinda sounds like co-op mode tbh. Going to someone else's world and stuff. Which is so intresting. WAIT EVERY AU HAS THE POSSIBILITY TO CONNECT AND INTERACT BECAUSE OF CO OP MODE??????????? So the god!reader, imposter!reader, fatui!reader, and idk himbo!reader all co-op together THE CHAOS OF FOUR GODS IN THE SAME WORLD WOULD BE HILARIOUS.
anyways, thanks for brainrotting with me comrade :DD
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screwcool-a · 6 years
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Thank u for the well wishes!
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svenotes · 3 years
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stay with me | jjk
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❝ maybe staying another night at your boyfriend’s isn’t such a bad idea ❞
[ PAIRING ] : jeon jungkook x reader
[ GENRE ] : established relationship au + smut and a smudge of fluff
[ WORD COUNT ] : 6k
[ WARNINGS ] : oral sex, some real good tongue technology on jungkook’s part, fingering, overstimulation, penetrative sex, creampie, LOTS AND LOTS of dirty talk, jk calls oc ‘baby’ and ‘pretty girl’ way too many times, oc worried that her bf is going to get tired of her, some mentions of anxiety, jk is the sweetest bf and even sweeter at sex, there is barely any plot and just a lot of sex im so sorry 
[ AUTHOR’S NOTE ] : i'm on my period and i got horny and then this happened
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masterlist | wattpad cross post | ao3 cross post
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“No.”
Jungkook shuffles behind you, the bed moaning. “You don’t even know what I’m going to ask.”
You shake your head, failing to suppress your smile as you slip on your thong. However, it does little to hide you from him. Glancing at the mirror, you see him shamelessly stare at your ass, licking his lips before he meets your gaze through the glass with a boyish grin.
You turn around to face him. “You’re going to ask me to stay.”
Jungkook hums, eyes dancing across your bare skin, darkening. Heat rushes to your cheeks as he admires you, confidence swelling in your chest and you take a moment to admire him. He sits at the edge of the bed, naked and yours, white, silk sheets pooled around his lower abdomen.
Your eyes trace over his rigid muscles, and your fingers itch to touch him. Even under the dim light, he is beautiful with his dishevelled hair and swollen lips. You finally meet his gaze and swear your knees almost give out. Heat pools in your stomach when you see the hunger in his gaze, breath hitching in your throat. Your thighs press together reflexively and it doesn’t go unnoticed by him.
“Wrong.” Jungkook pulls you at you until you're straddling him. He cranes his neck to press butterfly kisses along your jaw. “I was going to ask you to not leave.”
“Baby.” You thread your fingers in his hair, tugging at the strands. “That means the same thing.”
“Don't care,” he hums, pressing a firm kiss against your lips. “Don’t go.”
His plea tugs at the strings of your heart. It’s hard to say deny him. It’s especially hard to deny him with his dick hard, prodding against your thigh and his lips coercing you to stay cocooned under the sheets with him. However, the anxiety that builds in your chest is overwhelming and the thoughts that kept you up the night before still linger.
“Jungkook.”
“Unless you’re telling me you're staying, I don’t want to hear it.”
You giggle, leaning down for a sweet kiss. Minutes pass by before you pull away with a burn in your lungs and clouded mind. He chases after your lips, but you tilt your head for his lips to press against the corner of your lips, to his reluctance.
“Baby,” you start, “I need to go home and get new clothes. I’ve spent the entire weekend here and now I have nothing to wear.”
“I like you naked, anyway.” He grins as you slap his chest, failing to bite back your smile. “You can wear my clothes.”
“I have no underwear left.”
“I have a laundry machine.” He traces every curve of your spine, sending shivers down your back. “You’ll have clean clothes tomorrow.”
You brush the long strands of his hair from of his face. “I could grab some new clothes and come back tomorrow.”
“It’s going to be dark soon,” he reasons, unhooking your bra with two fingers and you cock a brow. “Leave in the morning — after breakfast. Dangerous people come out at night, y’know? I don’t want anything bad happening to you.”
“You would’ve won me over with that one if you didn’t unhook my bra,” you remark, pinning him with a look.
“Really? Wait, lemme redo that—!” You let out a heartfelt laugh, throwing your head back and he grins. “Seriously, don't go. I don’t want you walking outside late at night.”
“The sun’s only about to set, I can get home before it gets too dark.”
Jungkook’s brows pinch together, lips curling downwards. “You’re trying so hard to leave. Why?”
Your heart misses a beat and you pray he doesn’t notice the hesitation in your eyes as anxiety swells in your chest. Your worries flood your mind as a reminder as why you must leave.
“You're going to get sick of me if I don't give you some space.”
“I could never get sick of you,” he retorts, holding you closer with a shake of his head. “And I don't need space from you. Wanna keep you in my arms forever.”
Your gaze softens on him and his cheeks are coloured pink. “Kook.”
“I don’t want you to leave — not tonight.” He presses hot, open-mouthed kisses against the column of your throat. “Want you to stay with me.”
You indulge in the idea; one more night. You could stay one more night. You could. However, the fear in your chest does not allow for it. You’re scared — worried if he spends every waking moment with you he’ll soon get tired of you. Perhaps it’s a stupid thought considering you’ve been dating for over a year now, but the dread still lingers. No matter how much you reason with it, it haunts your thoughts — keeps you awake in the middle of the night even as he rests in your embrace.
He drags you from your reverie, pressing a kiss against the sweet spot under your ear and you let him have his way for now.
“Don’t go,” he says again in a whisper, pleading with his eyes. “Please. I want you to stay.”
Before you can answer he leans down to press his lips against yours. His lips meld with your own in a fervent kiss, his hand trailing down your body and tracing the curve of your ass, as he presses himself against your core. You roll your hips against him as the kiss becomes more sloppy and desperate with every press of him against you. Waves of pleasure shoot down to your core, your pussy clenching around nothing.
“Jungkook,” you moan.
His lips trail down the underside of your jaw, pressing a wet kiss against your pulse. A coil of desire begins to tighten at every nudge of his shaft against your nerves, nails digging into the skin on his back in response.
“Ngh — Jungkook, please,” you urge as presses his hips against yours, applying pressure to your bundle of nerves.
“Please, what, baby,” he hums, smirking against your skin. “Use your words.”
“Touch me. Please, ah,” you moan, throwing your head back against the pillow. “Need you to touch me.”
He throws your unhooked bra to the side. Bringing a hand to wrap around your breast, he squeezes it adoring how soft and pliant you are under his touch. You arch your back as his tongue flicks against your perked nipple.
“Are you sure?” He asks, his warm breath fanning across the pebbled bud on your breast. “Thought you had to go, hm?”
“Jungkook—!”
“I won’t stop until I’m satisfied,” he says, hoarse, searching your eyes for an answer. “I won’t let you go until you’re begging me to stop. Do you want that?” He rolls grinds his cock against your core, groaning. “Won't stop ’til I feel your hot, tight pussy milk me for every last drop. Ah, wanna feel you fall apart on my cock, see you all pretty and full of my cum, hear you beg for more and more until you break.”
You gasp at his vulgar words, the hot, white coil tightening in your stomach. You wish so badly for him to be inside of you when you clench around nothing. His lips wrap around your perked nipple, licking and biting you, eliciting the sweetest of moans from your lips as his tongue swirls around your bud.
Your thread your fingers through his hair, pulling at the strands at the nape of his neck how he likes it. He moans against you as you continue to experimentally roll your hips against him, desperate for some friction — for him.
“Do you want that, too, baby?” He asks, leaving a trail of kisses up the valley between your breasts. “Means you can’t go home though. You’ll miss your train if you let me do the things I want.”
“Are you sure you’re not going to get tired of seeing me every day?”
You try to laugh, but your voice comes out strained and full of worry. It doesn't sound like a joke as you hoped, voice shaking as you ask your question. Your heart thunders in your chest and you wonder if he can hear it.
Jungkook stills, his lips brushing against your collarbone. He pulls back to look at you, brows furrowed and eyes full of confusion.
“You think I’m getting tired of you?”
You look away from his piercing gaze and he doesn’t like it. Taking your face in his hands, he urges you to meet his eyes and you find yourself meeting his concerned gaze.
“Talk to me,” he says, softly.
You take a deep breath, eyes flickering to your hands resting against his chest. Mustering the courage to open up, you meet his gaze again as he patiently waits for your response, a thumb rubbing soothingly against the soft skin of your cheek.
“I—I’m scared that you're going to realize I’m not as great as you think I am,” you begin softly, voice shaking. “I’m worried if you spend too much time with me you'll get sick of me. I’m scared you’re going to get tired of me and leave me.” You pause, noticing the bewildered expression on his face. “I wanted to leave so I could give you space in case you wanted it. I didn’t — I don’t want to suffocate you.”
He’s silent for a long moment and you know it’s because he’s collecting his thoughts. However, a part of you still worries. You worry it's because he realizes he has grown tired of your presence. You worry he realizes that you have too much emotional baggage and doesn’t want to deal with it. You worry because you have a hard time accepting someone’s love.
“I haven’t done a good job at being your boyfriend,” he starts and your eyes widen, “if you’re thinking I’m going to get sick of you.”
“No,” you reply immediately, cupping his face. “It's not you. It’s my insecurities — my anxiety. You’re more than perfect. You say and do all the right things, Kook. I just… I’m scared one day you’re going to get tired of me — tired of constantly reassuring me, sick of having me around all the time and clinging to you.”
You’ve talked to Jungkook about it before. He knows about the thoughts that keep you up at night — the worries that gnaw at you until you’re in tears. He knows and he stays. He tries to help you in every way he possibly can. He holds you when you need it, whispers reassuring words, comforts you no matter when or where. He’s there for you in every possible way because he loves you.
But sometimes your anxiety gets the best of you — especially when it comes to him.
“Baby,” he starts and it’s hard to meet his eyes, “I will never get tired of you. I will never get sick of you.”
“You don’t know that—!”
He cuts you off, “But I do. I know because I can’t get enough of you. I don’t think I ever will. Every moment you’re not with me all I want is you. All I can ever think about is you. You drive me crazy and you don’t even know it. All I ever want is you beside me, in my arms, in my house with me. I always want you right beside me — right where you belong.” A pause. “You know I love you, right?”
“I love you, too.” Your response is almost immediate and he smiles, leaning to press a soft kiss against your lips.
“Do you know how much I love your laugh?” You’re silent. “Do you know how much I love making you smile; how much I love waking up beside you and falling asleep with you in my arms. How much I adore your victory dances when you win games and your snoring—!”
“Hey!” You complain, but there’s a smile curling on your lips to match his.
“I love you so much — every single part of you — I couldn’t possibly ever get sick you. I love you so much I don't ever want to let you go.”
Hesitantly, you look at him and let the sincerity of his words sink in. His eyes are full of adoration for you and your heart is enveloped by a sudden warmth only he can elicit in you. Lifting your hand between your bodies and extend your pink finger to him.
“Promise?”
He doesn't hesitate to wrap his small finger around yours before sealing the promise with a sweet kiss. “Promise.”
“Okay,” you say, gnawing on your bottom lip. “I wasn’t being too clingy this weekend? I wasn’t bothering you or being annoish—!”
“I’m going to stop you before you say more things I don’t like.” He smothers your face in his hands, eyes narrowed. “Remember, I wanted you here this weekend, too. And I want you to spend another night because I love you and I’m going to miss you when you’re gone.”
“Okay,” you murmur, shyly. “I’ll stay the night.”
“Good. I want my pretty girl beside me,” he chuckles under his breath, tucking a loose curl behind your ear. You notice his eyes grow softer, an emotion you cannot decipher hidden behind the awestruck in his eyes that leaves butterflies in its wake. “Move in with me.”
You blink. “What?”
“I—!" His eyes are wide as if he didn’t expect himself to say the word himself. His eyes flicker downwards before they meet yours again with purpose. “I want you to move in with me.” A deep breath. “My apartments too big for just one person and I miss you whenever you’re gone. You spend more time here than you do at your own place anyway. Move in with me.”
You search eyes and all you're met with is sincerity. “Are you sure?”
“Yea,” his smile is soft but it makes your heart swell. “Yea, I'm sure. I’m tired of waking up every morning and not having you beside me.”
“Moving in?” You ask, uncertainly.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while, but I wasn’t sure if you were ready. And you don’t have to give me an answer tonight or tomorrow. I want you to think about it and if you’re not ready, that’s okay because I’ll wait for you. You’re worth the wait.”
“Kook—!"
“I already know I want to spend the rest of my life with you, ___.” Your eyes widen at the declaration and his cheeks are coloured pink despite the bright smile on his lips. “I know we’re not there yet, but I want you every single day for the rest of my life. So while I wait for you to be my wife, I want to move in with you.”
Jungkook momentarily stills before he realizes the soft pressure against his lips is your own, smiling into the kiss as he closes his eyes. He kisses you tenderly and sweet, but there is desperation behind them. You’ve kissed Jungkook thousands of times but he still makes your head dizzy as he slips his tongue between the seams of your lips. You’re not sure how long you stay like that, your fingers tangled in his hair and his own pulling you closer towards him.
He pulls back first, a string of saliva connecting you before he places another firm kiss against your lips. “Was that a yes?”
“Yea,” you breathe, grinning. “Yea, it was.”
He flips you onto the bed with practiced ease, your back hitting the mattress as he hovers over you. You giggle as he places butterfly kisses all over your neck and shoulder.
“I love you so much,” he breathes, face hidden in the crook of your neck. “My pretty, pretty girl.”
“Jungkook.”
“Yes.”
“I want to cum.”
He laughs, pulling away. “Shameless, too.”
He leaves a trail of kisses down your body until he’s a hair's breadth from your cunt. His fingers brush against your closed slit, arousal leaking through the flimsy material as he presses against your core. Your breathing becomes erratic when he presses a kiss against your clothed lips.
“Baby — fuck.” Your eyes roll back as he drags his tongue to your clit, the friction from the fabric on your nerves driving you crazy. “St-stop, agh, teasing.”
“You’re not in the position to make rules, baby,” he says, rubbing against your clothed clit. “I’m going to take my time with you — have you begging for me to taste your cunt. And when you do, I’ll use my tongue to lick every little drop of sweetness from your pussy. Make you come on my mouth over and over until you’re begging me to stop.”
You whine, “Please.”
He teases you, moving your underwear aside just enough to lick a long stripe from your pussy to your clit. Groaning, he meets your eyes as your underwear slides back in place.
“You taste so good, baby,” he purrs, pressing a kiss against your thigh. “And you're so fucking wet. Bet I could slide right into you.” His fingers are back on you, brushing against your clit but not enough to do anything. “You want me, baby?”
Your arch your back in response to his next ministration. “Yes.”
His touch is gone just like that and you whine, brows furrowed in frustration. He snaps the waistband of your thong against your skin with a smirk.
“Beg.”
“Jungkook—!”
You’re about to complain, but he cuts you off. “Beg or I’ll fuck myself using that pretty mouth and leave you dry. Tell me, baby, how bad do you want me?”
“Please, baby, I need you.” Your hooded eyes meet his heated gaze. “Need your fingers, mouth, cock — you. I need you so bad. Wanna feel you so bad, please.”
“Could be better,” he muses before he presses a kiss against your clothed core. “But I’m impatient.” He taps your hips. “Up.”
Helping you out of your underwear, he brings his face towards your core, blowing against your opening. His nose brushes against your thigh as he places another kiss against the soft skin, hooking your legs over his shoulder.
“You’re soaking and I’ve barely touched you.”
You hum, contentedly when his tongue brushes against your slit. “All for you.”
“My pretty girl,” he rasps, nose brushing against clit. “So wet and needy for me.”
Before you can complain again you feel his hot, wet tongue press harshly against your lips before he drags it up to your clit. He swirls the rosy muscle on your clit, teasingly until your moaning and breathless. Without warning, his lips envelop around your throbbing bud, sucking in full force you scream his name as your hips buck. Warm hands hold your waist down as he hums, tongue licking against your entrance again. For a moment he dips inside you, moaning at the taste of your sweetness before going back to suck at your clit the way you love it and you see stars behind your lids.
He repeats the motion over and over, swirling his warm tongue around your swollen bud and sucking it in a way that has you forgetting your own name. Against your slick lips, he whispers praises, before he slips two fingers into your warm cavern and curling his fingers inside you.
“O-oh, fuck—!” you gasp, fingers tangled in his hair. “Don — mmngh — don’t stop, ngh.”
“Gotchu,” he grins when he finds your sweet spot. “Does it feel good, baby?”
“S-so good.” Your nails scrape against his scalp and he emits a low groan. “So fucking good, fuck.”
His fingers continue their onslaught at a new pace, brushing roughly against the spot that leaves you breathless. His lips are back on your clit like a hot suction and you scream out from the overwhelming pleasure.
“So fucking tight,” he muses, pressing a kiss against your bud. “Your pretty cunt's taking my fingers so well, baby. You sound so pretty while I fuck you with my fingers, but you sound prettier when you cum, you know that?”
Your head is spinning from euphoria, ecstasy and the lack of oxygen, but it doesn't matter — not when he's bringing you closer and closer to your release.
“Mngh — J-Jungkook!” He sets a new violent pace that leaves you overwhelmed as he hits your sweet spot. His name falling out your lips like a broken record while he licks at your juices, groaning against your cunt when you fist his hair and pull him closer to you. An electrifying coil in your lower abdomen tightens, building further when his ministrations bring you closer and closer to your peak. You clench around his fingers, bucking your hips further into his hand, whimpering as you say, “God, yes — ngh, fuck. I’m so close.”
“Cum for me.”
Euphoric pleasure slowly, yet surely floods through your body, his lips enveloped around your sensitive bud as he curls his fingers against your soft spot. With one last flick of his tongue, you fall off the euphoric cliff as he laps at your juices. He presses harsh, but sure circles against your clit with his thumb as you ride out your orgasm. Your hip spams, thighs trembling as he coaxes you through an indescribable, mind-blowing release that leaves your vision white.
His lips don’t leave your nether regions, wincing at the oversensitivity. You tug at his strands of hair but he shakes his head.
“Not done with you yet,” he whispers, licking the fruits of his efforts once his fingers slip out of your dripping cunt. “Wanna have you crying my name. Wanna show you how much I love you. Will you let me?”
You lift your head from the pillow, leaning on your elbows as you sit up. He holds your stare, smirking before he flattens his tongue and drags it up your slit to your sensitive bud and you shudder. His grip on your thighs tightens to keep you in place before he lowers his head between your thighs, the hot suction back on your clit.
“Agh, Kookie.” You throw your head back, chest heaving. “I’m too—” Gasp. “—sensitive.”
“You can take it.” A kiss against your nether lips. “Wanna show you how much I want you — how much I love the taste of you. I’m not letting you go until you’re begging me to stop. You up for that? Want me to remind you how good I can make you feel?” He dips his tongue back in you and you hiss. “Can you be my pretty, little slut, baby, hm? You wanna make me happy, don’t you?”
“Y-yea.”
You feel him smile against your thigh. “Who does this pretty pussy belong to?”
“You.”
“That’s right.” A rewarding stroke his tongue. “This pussy belongs to me. You’re mine. This pussy is mine. Will you let me play with this pretty cunt, baby?”
He watches you with hunger in his eyes and the desire to have him use you as he pleases to seek his own pleasure overcomes you.
He brushes his tongue against your swollen nub, and you gasp, “Yes.”
“Pretty girl,” he hums and you’re immediately wrapped around his finger. “Do you want to be my perfect little slut?” You nod, meeting his heated gaze, a wolfish grin curling on his lips. “You're too good to me, you know that, baby?” He teases his tongue around your entrance, eliciting a whine from you. “My pretty girl.” Lips wrap around your clit and you scream, body falling limp against his sheets. “My perfect, little slut.”
And with that his tongue is on you, violently bringing you to another release. You are oxygen and he is a man deprived, burying himself deeper in your cunt. A growl emits from the back of his throat as you thread your fingers through his hair, your winces from oversensitivity shifting to moans of pleasure. He finds home between your thighs, reluctant to leave as he licks at every drop of sweetness you grant him. Jungkook brings you to release over and over until your tears stream down your face and you find it hard to take the pressure of his tongue against your overly-sensitive nerves.
With one last wave of pleasure washing over you, he pulls away. His cheeks are coated with a warm fuchsia, lips parted as he looks at your cunt with a predatory gaze. From his nose to his chin, he is covered in a sheen of your juices, eyes blown out as they meet your own.
He adores your fucked out expression, your chest heaving while you catch your breath. His tongue swipes at the remnants of your release on his swollen lips, the back of his hand wiping the excess off his chin before he leans down to catch you in a short kiss. When he pulls away, his eyes search yours for any sign that you want to stop, but he finds nothing.
“You did so well, baby,” he whispers against your lips. “How are you feeling?”
“You told me you would make me pretty and full of your cum.” His gaze hardens on you, dark eyes trained on your own. “‘M not full of your cum yet. Can you fix that?”
“Such a greedy slut.” A smile grows on his lips as he leans down to your neck, nipping at the skin. “I made you come on my mouth so many times, but you still want more. Greedy, needy slut.”
“For you.” You wrap your legs around his waist as you grind yourself against his dick. “Only for you.”
He groans, hips rolling in rhythm with yours. “You like being my slut?”
“I like being yours.”
He stills for all of a second before he breaks out into a grin, laughing as he presses a kiss against your lips. “You’re going to be the death of me.”
You wrap your arms around his neck and pulls his lips back on yours. As he leans towards you, his shaft presses against your folds. You’re barely able to focus on the kissing as you lose yourself in the overwhelming sensation as he grinds against you, coating his length with your juices.
A knot forms in your lower abdomen like a hot, tight coil wanting to snap. You can already feel yourself get needy at the feeling of his length against your folds, but before you can act upon it—!
“Tsk.” Jungkook clicks his tongue against his teeth as he catches you trying to slip his cock past your folds. “You want my cock?”
“Mhm,” you hum in a daze, eyes lazily meeting his. “Want you inside me.”
“It’s not going to be that easy, baby.” You furrow your eyes at that, mouth opening in protest. “Beg for it. Tell me how badly you want to be fucked by my cock.”
You frown. “That’s not happening—!”
There’s a teasing pressure against your pussy that makes you gasp, eyes rolling back as your mouth hangs open. A soft whimper escapes from you as he adjusts his cock to rub against you, mixing his pre-cum with your juices.
“What was that?” He asks, smirking and you glare at him through your lashes. “Don’t make this harder than it has to be. I can give you everything you want if you just—” he leans down until his lips brush against your ear, his finger grazing over your sensitive clit and you hiss, pushing your hips against his hands for more, “—beg.”
Again, you ignore his request but more so because he aligns his cock to prod against your cunt and you cannot focus on anything but your need to have him buried in you. You can feel the sudden weight in the pit of your stomach as you lick your lips.
“So hungry for my cock,” he grunts. “You want something to fill you up so good you forget your name, don’t you?”
“Yes,” you cry at the lack of attention on your sex. “Please.”
“Please what?” He asks, lips curling because he knows he has you exactly where he wants. “Words.”
“Please fuck me,” you give in, frustrated as your walls clench around nothing. You’re hungry for more — body craving more of what he’s willing to offer; of the undeniable pleasure he would provide if you just gave in. “God, I want your cock — need it. Need you to fill me up, need you to fuck me — nngh!” You moan, body going rigid against his as his head rubs against your swollen bud, fingers tweaking at your perked nipples. “Want you so bad, baby. Wanna be your perfect, little slut so bad. Have me however you want, I don’t care — do whatever you want to me. I don’t fucking care.” You grind yourself against him, chest heaving as the desire for him to fill you up becomes desperate. “Just fuck me, baby, please.”
“That’s my girl.” He rewards you with a kiss. “I’ll fuck you, baby. I’ll fill you up with my cock. Gonna bury my cock deep inside your slick cunt. Gonna stretch out your walls so good no other cock will be good enough for you — no other cock could ever fill you up like mine. No one will fuck you better than me.”
“That’s right, baby,” you urge. “Make me yours.”
Painfully, slow he slips his cock into your warm cunt, groaning. He’s big, in both length and grith, causing a slight burn accompanied by an abundance of pleasure. Moans fill the room as he fills you up to the brim, inch by inch until he no longer can. Your hot, slick walls clench around him and he groans, nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.
“Stop that,” he growls, brows furrowed in concentration. “You’re so fucking tight, ah. If keep you do that I’m going to fucking blow my load.”
“Do your worst, baby,” you say, eyes hazy. “I want you to ruin me.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice, unsheathing himself from your cunt until the tip is nestled an inch within your entrance and then slams himself back into you. A lewd moan erupts from both of you as the stars decorate your vision. You arch your back, pressing your chest against his, eyes rolling back every time he sinks back into you. With each thrust and roll of your hips, he rubs himself against the spot that leaves ecstasy rushing through your veins.
“You’re so, agh, hot like this.” You can feel the pressure build in your stomach, the coil tightening with every brush of him against your sweet spot. “So hungry for my cock.”
“Feel so good in me,” you moan, watching as his dick slips in and out of your cunt. “Fill me up, ah, so good. Fuck, take what’s yours, baby.”
He visibly shudders at that before latching his lips on your perked nipple. His tongue laps around the perked bud on your breast, spare hand coming to knead the other before he swaps breasts.
You groan, dragging your nails down his back, sure to leave a mark. “Oh, fuck.”
Your eyes roll back as the head of his cock brushes roughly against the spot that has you seeing stars. He has your toes curling, his name coming out like a mantra as he ravishes your body, moaning into your neck. A knot of pleasure tightens, burning like a hot coil and he knows with the way you pulse around his dick that you’re so, very close.
You can taste the bits of your orgasm on the tip of your tongue, but it’s still not enough. You need so much more and he hears it in your pleas.
“Puh—please,” you breathe as you feel him press his lips against your pulse. “Hard—oh, my God.” You barely get the words out of your mouth before he’s ploughing into you with a force that knocks the air out of your lungs. “Ngh, like that, fuck. S-so good, baby. Feels so good.”
“Yeah,” he groans, biting your neck. “So good to me, fuck. Such a good fucking girl.” At that, you squeeze around him and he lets out another lewd moan. “You gonna cum?”
All you manage is a nod and a sharp breath of air. His hand slithers down your body to find your clit and he presses against it harshly, eliciting a hiss from you. It’s oversensitive from the multiple times he made you cum on his tongue, but he doesn’t care because he knows you love it. He’s quick to rub circles around the bud and smirks to himself at your vocal response.
“Don’t — ah — stop.” You feel the coil burn more, pleasure building in your body like rapid fire. So fucking close to your next release, even as the sensitive bud stings. “Gonna — ah — gonna cum.”
His lips are eager for yours, pressing against them in a searing, hot kiss as he tries to coax the orgasm from you with his sinful lips. You can taste yourself on him and hum. His release threatens to unravel before him, but he fights against it so he can feel you wrap around his cock when you cum. He lifts himself off you to admire the blissful look on your face as you slowly become undone before him.
“Pretty girl — ngh,” he whispers, hot breath fanning over your cheeks and you whimper. “All mine. Come — ah — for me, hm? Come all over my cock, baby.”
Sweat drips down both your bodies, your walls clenching around him as he fucks you hard. Every thrust leaves his head nudging against your sweet spot, clouding your vision white. A fire builds within you again, leaving you to gasp for air between every moan.
“Kook, I — ah, I can’t come—” Moan. “I can’t come again.”
Softly rubbing against your clit, he presses a chaste kiss on your lips. “You can take it. You’ve been such a good slut for me, tonight, baby. You can do it. Come around my cock for me.”
And with his words and one last thrust, the burning coil snaps, pleasure rushing through your body in euphoric waves. Your veins flood with ecstasy and he soon follows, his seed coating your walls. Overwhelming pleasure unravels within you both like a wildfire, spreading across your bodies as he continues his pace to ride out your highs. His lips find yours once again, pressing a lazy kiss against yours as you both ride out the last remnants of your orgasms.
Once he’s caught his breath, he slowly slips out of you, lifting himself to admire the way his seed spills out of your pretty cunt. You feel his cum spill out your cunt, down your thighs and onto the sheets beneath you.
“Such a pretty cunt,” he says aloud and your lips curl into a tired smile. “So dirty and full of my cum.”
He leaves the bed, heading towards the washroom to grab a warm cloth and you lay there, tired. Exhaustion seeps itself into your bones, lids heavy as they flutter shut. You don’t hear Jungkook return, but rather feel him when a warm cloth brushes against your swollen pussy, cleaning you up. He’s swift to clean you up the best he could before attending to himself and putting the rag away. Maneuvering over you, he brings the blanket over your bodies, nudging you to lay beside him.
“You were so good, baby,” he whispers as he pulls you closer towards him. “Always so good for me.”
“Mhm.”
He chuckles. “Are you tired?”
“Yea.” You nuzzle against his chest finding comfort in listening to his heartbeat. “I honestly could’ve knocked out after that first orgasm.”
He laughs, pressing a sweet kiss against your forehead. “Sleep. We have a long day tomorrow.”
“We do?” You furrow your brows. “Why? What’s tomorrow?”
“I’m gonna help you pack your boxes so you can move in by the end of the week.” You laugh along with him, throwing a leg over his own as you get comfortable. “Are you sure? You really ready to move in?”
Unable to hide your smile, you press a chaste kiss to his chest. “Yea, I’m sure.”
"You’ll be stuck with me for a long time,” he hums, exhaustion washing over him. “I won’t be letting you go for a while.”
"You better not.” Your smile quickly turns to a frown when you finally notice. “Jungkook?”
“Yea.”
“I'm hungry.”
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angelprinz · 2 years
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OK HEAR ME OUT- vampire!childe who watches poor little reader from afar, memorizing her daily routine and plans out the perfect time to kidnap and take her to his secluded cabin in a woods miles away from ur city. at first he's just attracted to your scent and wants to drain ur perfect little body of all its blood then dump ur lifeless body somewhere no one will find <3 but then he find himself enjoying ur pathetic cries and decides to keep u chained up where he'll defile & drain ur body slowly
IM LISTENING ANON !!!! i know i should be scared of him but 'm just imagining his cute little fangs n him being hungry for blood!!!! 's cute, my lil mosquito.. ANYWAYS,,,
cw: fear kink, noncon, kidnapping, bondage, fem reader!
poor reader, feeling watched and paranoid for days, shadows growing under her eyebags as she feels a stare following her in the dark. the city is safe right? there's lights on her street and a camera outside her building yet, that fear is never fully gone despite footage only showing her lone figure.
little does she know that a pale man unable to be photographed by surveillance prowls around her each day, footsteps inaudible and blended into the dark corners, practically thirsting for her as her scent sweetens with fear induced adrenaline when outside. he can hear the pumping of your heart resounding in his ears, the booming sound only tempting him further to make you his meal.
really, he should've known he was infatuated with you beyond draining you dry when he was waiting for the opportunity to kidnap you, observing each of your actions with interest and anticipation. when you're defenselessly tired yet so reactive to him muffling your cries with his strong grip, tossed forcefully into the back of his car and gagged with pretty tears rolling down your face.
he could've drained you of blood right there and then and buried you near his cabin yet felt his pants tighten at the sight of you struggling within your bonds. it's been so long since he's felt his blood rush because of a human and much less straight to his dick, so he indulges in the thrill by pulling apart your clothes, hands moving faster as your screams grow louder against the clothed gag!
his smirk when he finally gets your underwear out of the way? it's haunting when you realise he's not just some random kidnapper but a vampire! god, you knew there were supernatural out there but you knew then and there, no matter what you did, only death awaited so you stop your struggle yet the broken sobs still wrack your throat as you wait for childe to take you as he pleases.
too bad for you that childe quite liked you being so active in resisting, made him feel like fucking you till submissive under his grasp so a sick idea enters his head as he exposes himself to you, slapping his engorged cockhead against your folds and leaning down to command in your ear. "fuck yourself on this cock and i'll let you live."
it's not like you have a say anyways but the promise of at least not having the life drained out of you makes you move, pathetic whimpers as you lower yourself onto childe's length, slipping him in deeper slowly until he tuts, fucking in until the hilt with a rough thrust, making fresh tears spill out of your eyes and a wracked moan humiliatingly slip out your mouth.
"oh? pretty girl likes my cock hm? knew i picked up a whore."
you can't help the tears from falling as he degrades you with his dick plowing harshly into your insides, hiccupping and praying that it'll end and that you don't cum all over his cock that happens to nudge all the electrifying spots and the opening of your little womb. i mean, he's inhuman so his dick game is insane, fucking you with a speed that felt impossible and for so long! it's like he's insatiable in the way he's making you convulse around him unwillingly and you can feel the orgasm building up with dread.
when your climax arrives, your tears have completely soaked your gag and your cunt grows so sloppily wet n tight around childe that he spills his load right into your womb, flooding your walls with cum and letting you collapse with all the liquids spilling out your abused pussy. you can't move of course, being bound and fucked so hard that your muscles feel sore, so childe just leaves you there before entering the driver's seat to take you to his secluded cabin, thinking to himself that he's got a chain perfect to go with your neck and legs at home for you so he can keep fucking you till he gets bored!
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An Angel and A Demon ~ Pyramid Head x Reader
Update 2: My laptop restarted when I was in the middle of writing this, and trust me when I say it, I am positively pissed off, and I want to end my days, that's how bad of a day this was.
And I didn't leave the house.
That says a lot about today...
Update 1: But, without further ado, I was half-way writing this story, and I received this ask, and let me tell you...
helloooo, i absolutely adored the fanfics you wrote about kazan and danny🥺 could i request one where pyramid head is just really whipped for and in love with the survivor! reader but he doesnt know how to announce it to them so he brings her random ,,gifts" in and outside the trials and protecting her bc well, im pretty sure he cant speak so he doesnt really have any other options on how to express his feelings??
I live for it.
Bless you for sending me this, it's the reason I'm still sane right now.
I love you, baby-cakes.
Update 3: I want to kill myself so bad. Just smash my head on a wall until it explodes or sth. I was so happy with how this imagine turned out, only fuck fucking tumblr to just fucking delete EVERYTHING just as I was about to put the last gif and hit POST NOW.
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For the 5th time writing this :
FUCKMEDADDY - but this time - FUCKMYBRAINSOUTPLEASEIWANNADIE
Thanks.
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Hell - What was that place, anyway?
Some would describe it as an infinite ocean of flames and lava, where it's eternally melting-hot, and a bunch of hooved, horned, tailed red demons torture you with acid, with their red pitch forks, or boil you alive in their cauldron for soup. Or maybe you just get tortured by Stalin, who knows?
But never would have anyone thought that 'Hell' could look so...Normal. Well, normal in a very demolished, desolate, ravished way, but still...Normal, by human standards. Albeit, the never-ending loop of madness, anguish, agony and desperation of getting killed in different gruesome ways or fleeing for their lives and feeling a myriad of emotions pumping adrenaline through their veins so badly that their anxiety-meter skyrocketed to abnormal levels.
All this darkness, this hatred, this...Everything...It changed all the survivors. They became selfish, stubborn, rude, some even went as far as to sacrifice their fellow survivors in trials, just so they could survive. It was a complete mayhem that defied all kinds of reason, normality, morality or even ethics. Everyone became devoid of any laws that used to bind them to their humane sides, and now, you weren't sure if the killers were saner than the survivors or not.
But even in this abyss where you couldn't even see your hand in front of your very eyes, there was a little star - A beautiful angel radiating brightness and warmth, someone who was somehow able to guide everyone's straying souls with her benevolence.
In reality, she was merely a survivor, not the little lantern from an angler fish's head, but she treated everyone with such an untainted kindness...It was beautiful, and yet, unrequited for most parts. Everyone was still putting their own lives above all - And who could condemn them? - Perhaps their cowardice, for the girl preferred to save her fellow survivors as much as possible, even if that oftentimes assured her place on the hook, to be a sacrificial lamb for the Entity.
On the other hand, she rarely ended up on the hook - Most killers prefer to kill her themselves, instead of letting her become pray for the horrible Entity who tortured so many of them for refusing to cooperate - The Trapper, Evan MacMillan - He knew the best, with those hooks digging into his flesh, impossible to extract. He was the first to protect this girl. It wasn't much, but if he had to, he'd rather give her a swift, painless death, than seeing her without that serene, angelic smile on her face, as the Entity feeds on the last bits of her soul's beauty, the last parts of her humanity.
The other Killers were confused at the Trapper's actions, but little by little, they began to understand why this girl was so precious and special - And this domino effect hit Rin Yamaoka next, with Y/N stopping in the middle of a chase and taking off her jacket, just as Rin was about to butcher her with her katana, and she smiled, extending it to her. 'You must be cold' she said, realising that the Spirit was merely wearing a few bandages, not even her school uniform, or her kimono.
The ghost girl was shaken up by this, and told the others at the killer camp, but they just shrugged it off - Rin was a little girl who faced close to no kindness, they weren't surprised she was so taken aback by such a feat. That is, until Adiris, in a particularly terrible day, when everyone at the camp was staying away from her, as her profane censer wasn't able to cover the stench of rotting flesh - Y/N came over, taking out a small yet elegant glass bottle with pink liquid on it, spraying some on her - And now, The Plague smelled of roses and vanilla - 'You can come to me for perfume whenever you want, I always carry some with me!' she grinned at the Babylonian High Priestess, before leaving back to the survivor's camp site, leaving the ancient God symbol to stare with her mouth agape at the girl.
These words began to spread, and it was no surprise when the killers saw Susie clinging and begging her Legion friends to spare Y/N, for she was there to hug away her worries more than once, to tell her sweet words, to play with her hair and play the guitar whatever songs she wanted to hear, to get reminded of her home - She was so home sick that she freaked out, but now she was better, thanks to Y/N - 'I know you miss home, but sometimes, home is where your best friends are, and all three of them are here!' she tried to encourage the cute pink-haired girl who could only squeal and hug her new friend.
Even Ghostface wasn't exempt from falling to her charms, and they would often take silly selfies and mess around, making fun of the old horror movie tropes and doing lots of puns and pranks - So much that she even got his trust to be told about the Danny/Jed thing, and how he began his killer profession - 'You're a very talented photographer, Danny! You deserved all that recognition you got, both as a journalist, and as a killer!'
And very soon, Y/N found herself in the crushing arms of an overprotective Anna, humming her mother's lullaby together with walking through the forest, Y/N making flower crows for all the female killers at the camp site, and little by little, she somehow managed to worm her way under everyone's skins.
Y/N was the survivor with the highest survivability percentage, and maybe the Entity sometimes got pissed off, but at least she still got killed sometimes, so who cares? Well, that was soon to change as soon as a new Killer was added to this sick game - Pyramid Head, the terror of Silent Hill, as Cheryl, the new Survivor, called him - or The Executioner, as he was known now. He was ruthless, merciless, grotesque - He had his own criteria of killing, his own moral compass, ethics, conscience and understanding of the concept of life and death. Nothing that could compare to the visions of humans, clearly - Everything was gravitating around Divine Retribution and Justice, but the from the outside, he was nothing but a killing machine.
He would kill everyone and anyone that crosses his path, without fail.
Y/N felt like her fortune ended completely the second she found herself in the new, overly cramped map, with Pyramid Head as the killer - She couldn't help but run around like a spazzic meerkat, trying to find and fix as many generators as possible, without having to get face to face with the walking hazard...
Only to run past a stuck Pyramid Head.
Slowly backtracing her steps, she saw the mountain of a man with his metal pyramid stuck in the frames a low window which he tried to walk over. He was trashing like a raged bull trying to attack a matador, but it was clear he was getting nowhere with this.
"H-Hey, u-uhm...Need some help?" she asked in a soft, careful voice, almost like a meek cat trying to test the waters, but in return, he started groaning even louder from the wrath he wanted to unleash upon the whole world. "Okay, uhm...I think I saw a can of vaseline in one of the chests around. I'll go fetch it and I'll come back for you. Don't move." she said, only to then realise how horrible that sounded, considering the situation, and it only seemed to anger the killer. "...I'm sorry, ignore me, I'm an idiot." she slapped herself pretty harshly before bolting out of there trying to find the chest.
However, Y/N cursed herself for not having perfectly memorised the whole map by heart already, since she found the vaseline can after the 3rd chest, and then, it took quite a while to find the bloody window that got the killer stuck - And by the time she got there, she was dead tired. "Okay, I'm here, I found the vaseline! Let's try to get you out of here." Y/N muttered as she put her feet on the low window pane to get to his level. "If it's not too much trouble, could you please hold onto me? I can't balance myself with both hands occupied, and I'd rather not fall." she explained as she opened the vaseline can, only to shiver as she felt two big, strong hands getting a firm grip on her hips. It was almost...Endearing, were she not too busy trying to get the killer unstuck. She kept massaging the metal edge, trying to push and pull, also praying to whatever deity that existed in her human world that she had her tetanus shot done on time - Until finally, she was able to get hear a loud screech, like a pop, and the killer got unstuck, and in the process, he stumbled backwards, while Y/N fell down on her butt.
"Ouchie..." she muttered, rubbing her back and sides to take away the pain surging through her body. "Are you okay?" she asked, almost intuitively, without realising it at first, until she heart a low grunt that brought her back to reality. "O-Oh...! You have glass shards stuck in your side! And you're bleeding too! Hold up, let me help." she hurried to his side, while the killer merely stiffened, feeling her delicate, slender fingers tracing his body, while he heaved and slouched his shoulders from the repressed wrath. "It may sting a bit, and I'm really sorry, but I promise it will be better soon." her voice was so motherly and warm, which also resonated in her actions, as she gingerly took a water bottle and imbued some tissues with it, to wipe away the blood smearing down his skin as she extracted the glass shards, and then..."This is grandma's marigold ointment. It's really good, and it smells nice." she explained as she carefully smeared a thick layer of the yellow ointment on the biggest wounds, while the little ones were covered by smiley-flower patterned plasters. They were cute, and colourful, and they never failed to make her smile. "Okay, there we go, all better! I hope you'll feel better very soon!" her voice got a tiny bit more cheerful and upbeat.
It made the Killer think about a trillion things, as he stepped in front of her, towering over her like the Empire states building next to a smiling pomeranian. What was with this girl? Why did she help a killer? And why did he feel so...Warm inside? He could sense a foreign kind of luminosity, a naivite and innocence that he only witnessed in children and animals. This woman in front of him was untainted by the darkness and evil of the world.
It didn't matter how many hardships she's been through, or how much sadness she had to endure - Her soul remained as pure as any snowdrop, as the first snow of winter, as the fleece of a baby lamb who let out its first 'meeeeh' to its mamma sheep.
He couldn't allow this human to be maimed in any way - Not by the world, not by the Entity, and certainly not by him. - Screw the Entity, Pyramind Head kills by his own rules, and now, he was blessed to be faced with a human who bore no real hatred for her peers, or for the world, despite the horrible situation she was thrown into.
He didn't understand, obviously, especially as he remembered the myriad of abominations that lurked through Silent Hill, all of them created by the torment of humans - The very torment that distorted their own reality, which resulted in him needing to solve the purpose as The Executioner - Eradicating the world of all evil.
"Th-This sword is so heavy...H-How can you carry this around like that...?! Your muscles must be so strained and sore...Y-You really need a massage, I'm sure." she stuttered as she tried to lift the much taller and heavier sword from the ground, only for the brute to simply bend and pick it up with extreme ease, putting the girl to shame with her complete lack of strength. "Hehe...You're really strong. I'm embarrassed now." she chuckled softly, scratching the back of her neck.
Before she could leave or do anything else, Pyramid Head picked her up by the throat, careful not to hurt her or restrict her air intake - I mean, how else was he supposed to carry her so he wouldn't hurt her with his metal head or sword? - and it was pretty clear she didn't feel any malevolence from him, as she clinged on his forearm, trying to keep herself up, only to be dumped on top of the hatch, as the killer pointed towards it, so she would leave.
"O-Oh...! Thank you so much! You're really kind! I really appreciate this...I-I know it probably doesn't matter much to you, since you'll be doing this over and over again with all the survivors...But I really appreciate you for your kind gesture, and I appreciate you for being so nice with me. Thank you. Take care!" her dazzling smile lit the whole place up, but he couldn't talk, nor could he tell her how he should be the one thanking her for showing him that, despite the hundreds and thousands of years he had to roam the 'Earth' and execute the injust, miracles still existed.
As soon as she reached the survivor's camp, everyone cheered for her, asking how in the world could she have escaped the wrath of the butcher. "Oh, but he wasn't that bad. In fact, he's much more humane than I anticipated! I think he has a beautiful, blooming heart!" okay, she's lost it - the other survivors thought - but even so, she's always been a bit...Out of it, so who cares?
It took quite a while for the other three survivors to reach the camp, all bloody, in fact, like the new killer, who dragged himself with the same menace to the Killers' camp. "How the hell did you manage to survive?!" they yelled at her in utter shock, seeing that she got out of there unscratched. "Oh, you see...I found the hatch." she shrugged simply, not wanting to give away that the person who massacred those three was a soft one and he basically threw her down the hatch to her safety.
As she took a twig to roast a marshmallows, she noticed how Pyramid Head was standing much farther away from the rest of the killers - She knew that silent killers were bound to stay away from the more obnoxious one, remembering how Michael Myers almost killed Ghostface and The Legion at least a dozen times - But this time...He seemed kinda...Lonely? So Y/N took the matters into her own hands, roasted another marshmallow in another twig, and when it was done, she went to the killer's camp, calling out the lonely one's name - She has no idea why, but he actually followed her, pushing her further deep into the forest, until he was sure nobody was going to hear, see or interrupt them...
"Hey. You seemed pretty lonely out there...I thought you could use a friend. Thank you again for what you did at the trial...Here, this is a marshmallow. I don't think you've had many before...Cheryl told me of that horrible place you had to live in...So I hope this will make your day a bit better!" Y/N extended one of her hands towards him, so he could take the marshmallow - And a long, black tongue erupted from underneath the pyramid, snatching away the fluffy marshmallow and gulping it in one go.
What the hell was he turning into?
A towering man built of pure muscle, wrath and divine justice, with a pyramid representing the evil of humanity burdening his body, and a sword taller and heavier than the average human being constantly dragged in one of his hand...He now was a slave to a cute, innocent girl who was putting flower plasters on his minuscule wounds that would heal in a heartbeat regardless - He saved this girl who was now offering his these soft, squishy things that tasted overly sugarly, just like her upbeat and cheerful personality - If he could eat her, he was sure she would taste even sweeter than this - A sickish kind of sweet, that is.
She was indeed a beautiful angel in this tragic hell. But he didn't wait to snatch the second marshmallow either.
"Ah...! You liked it, didn't you? Well...Next time, I promise I'll give you more!" she grinned at him the same way a princess would to her chivalrous knight who saved her. The since he couldn't talk, silence took over them - It wasn't an uncomfortable one, per se, but it made it feel as if the conversation was over. "W-Well...I'll guess I'll see you around! Take care and I hope to see you again soon!" she waved cutely, trying to turn around back to her camp, only to feel a rough hand on her shoulder, turning her around and urging her to stop and wait for him and he went deep into the forest, leaving her alone and undefended by the potential malevolent forces of the forest.
When he returned, however, he stepped right in front of her, creating the perfect shade as he towered over her - Then he kneeled in front of her, so he would reach her eye sight, then he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and put a beautiful pink flower - As pink as the blush that started creeping on her face - He wanted to see her luminous face better, to highlight her dazzling smile and her glimmering eyes as the warm, silver light of the mother moon caressed her face.
Y/N felt her heart picking up the pace - It was beating so much faster than ever before - But this time, it wasn't out of fear or anything negative...It was something good. Something she never felt in her life, especially with her human acquaintances from back home. None was as chivalrous and gentle with her as this butcher of tormented souls - The bringer of justice, the merciless Executioner who was supposed to end the life of every living being that would cross his path.
It was insane how every Yin finds its Yang, even if that comes in the form of a little lamb of a small, frail girl, and a huge abomination of a brute man who knows nothing but death, bloodshed and carnage. It was truly crazy how opposites attract, and here she was, holding the killers large hands and gingerly putting them on her face, leaning into his touch - She felt safer now than ever in her life - Now, in the arms of an ancient killer.
An Angel and A Demon brought together in a perfect union.
As she leaned down, she touched the metal of the pyramid where she anticipated his forehead would be with her own forehead, and closing her eyes, she finally felt herself calming down. There was no need for words, actions spoke louder than anything, and she appreciated it...She appreciated him.
"Thank you." she whispered to him, knowing that yes, even though nobody else would hear it anyway, it was much more intimate than anything she ever experienced.
She was hooked.
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Hope you liked my completely shameless pun, I couldn't stop it, especially after the pain I went through trying to write this...3 freaking times.
Yay.
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charming-2d-boys · 3 years
Note
Hi, I just want to say that I really love your writings and they actually really help me relax after a hard day!😊But today i just wanted to feel pain, so can I please have a dying! reader headcannon with Chrollo. If you do write for these, Im really sorry if you dont.
Oh, anon, who hurt you? I'll make myself cry, most probably 😭
Anyway, thank you and I'm glad to hear that! 😄 And thank you for the request as well! I hope you'll enjoy this! 🙇
A/N: the idea sorta came while listening to A Grave Mistake by Ice Nine Kills (I love the live version from SiriusXM, like please 😭💞). And I was so close to writing a scenario and then I read headcanons and I just kinds stopped like oh, yeah 😂
Warning: very long, angsty, description of injuries and death
you’d never thought it could hurt so badly
or that there’d be so much blood
but, alas, that was the unfortunate situation you found yourself in
the several gashes you’d acquired during your fight were making you dizzy from blood loss
your attacker had died a few seconds before, blood still flowing from the stomach wound you gave him
that was also the only serious hit you managed to land on him
unfortunately, you just knew that it only saved you for a bit more time
you had barely managed to get out your phone, only to see the screen cracked
and you were honestly scared it wouldn't work, but you felt relief when the screen lit up
you called Chrollo, but you had to put the phone on the ground, next to your ear
you had never felt happier to hear his voice
if only you could see him one last time as well...
Hello, love! And Happy Anniversary! Where are you? I hope you're on your way because I wouldn't want dinner to get cold-
Chrollo...
he suddenly went quiet as he heard you and you could hear shuffling in the background
(Y/N), where are you?
you told him, wheezing when you felt a sharp pain in your side as you tried to breathe in more air
you heard more shuffling before the city noise filled the background on the other end
Stay on the phone with me. Tell me what happened.
it hurt so badly to talk
your throat felt as dry as bone and also wet and the taste of blood was prominent
but you tried to talk, telling him about the one who attacked you while on your way home and how you tried to defend yourself, but their Nen far surpassed yours
apparently, your attacker had friends who wanted to destroy the Spider as well
and they would cling to anything that would hurt them or get them closer to the Phantom Troupe
you’d rather tell your boyfriend about this face to face, though
you did laugh and you heard his chuckle when you told Chrollo about the fatal hit you inflicted on your attacker
but when he asked you how bad your injuries were, you couldn’t answer
what were you supposed to say?
that you’d never seen so much blood in your entire life?
or that you could feel yourself slipping away?
(Y/N)? Talk to me, darling. I’m almost there. Just keep talking.
you told Chrollo about the cake you had bought and how you wanted to go on a date the next day or just sleep in and spend the entire day celebrating at home
he only hummed, hurrying over to you as fast as he could
good thing Shalnark installed an app on your phone that allowed Chrollo to pinpoint your location with accuracy
he swore he’d only use it in case of emergency and he’d kept his word
Chrollo felt his heart drop into his stomach when he saw your figure and all the blood surrounding you and the figure a few meters away from you
(Y/N)? I’m here now. Everything’s going to be fine, okay?
his hand caressed your cheek while the other hovered over your waist, where most of the blood seemed to come from
you leaned into his touch, smiling at him despite all the pain you felt and the numbness that started to overtake your limbs
Chrollo had already called Machi to heal you and Feitan, more for reinforcement than anything
and a few seconds later you could both hear them rapidly approaching you
Machi, please.
she only nodded and got to work, with Feitan going over to your attacker and inspecting him closely
Chrollo held your hand the entire time, smiling down at you and kissing your knuckles, hoping that you’d be saved and coming back with him injured, but alive
Machi managed to stitch most of your wounds and the bleeding stopped, but you were still pale and trembling from all the blood loss
How are you feeling, love? Better?
you wanted to say yes, just to keep that hopeful sparkle in his eyes
but you couldn’t
No... It hurts a lot... I don’t think I’ll-
Stop. Don’t say it.
Machi had gotten up and taken a few steps away from the two of you, still hearing you, but giving you some privacy
she’d done her best and you were thankful for that
you had felt her hands tremble slightly
you were friends and her boss’ lover
the idea of someone else she grew close to dying was making her sick
and Chrollo felt the same way
despite being around death so often and for his entire life, he still hated the idea of someone he cared about leaving his side like this
it was too soon
he still had so many things he wanted to experience with you and show you
he couldn’t lose you just like that
it wasn’t fair
there were tears forming in his eyes and you felt your heart clench in pain and pity when they started descending down his cheeks
your fingers wiped them away, the dry blood on your fingertips leaving faint marks where they got the blood wet again
Shhh... Don’t worry, we’ll meet again one day. Okay? And I’ll watch over you. So don’t cry anymore, please.
you were no better since you were crying as well
it really wasn’t fair
you didn’t want to die
you didn’t want to leave Chrollo
and seeing him actually react like this really moved you
as cool and charming as he always acted, even with you for the most part
you really didn’t think that he felt so strongly about you
you kissed the top of his head lightly as his face rested over your neck, lips pressing over the still warm skin and moving as if he was mumbling
or praying
Chrollo, sweetheart, please, look at me.
his eyes were teary and a little bloodshot as his hands were holding tightly onto yours
you looked so pale, but you still smiled at him
and Chrollo felt his heart crack
because it was his fault
he should’ve kept you safe
he was still trying not to be loud
and only you could see his face and feel his trembling hands
It’s not your fault. Understood? Don’t blame yourself. I want you to promise me this.
he couldn’t do that and you knew it
he’d always feel some guilt because this could’ve been avoided
if only he’d been with you, he could’ve protected you
just like he promised you
and he broke it
I promise.
he knew how stubborn you were sometimes
you wouldn’t take no or I can’t for an answer
not this time
I love you, (Y/N). I’ll always do.
his voice was anything but loud
this was only for you to hear and no one else
not even Machi or Feitan
So will I, Chrollo. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, alright?
you smirked playfully, though even you felt like it was a pitiful attempt at making everything more light-hearted
he cracked a broken smile and kissed your forehead, arms slowly lifting you up so he could hug you properly
you hugged him back tightly, hand going through his hair as his hands clung to your torn clothes, feeling the dry blood that had soaked through
it honestly hurt to stay like this
but it didn’t matter anymore
even now, you felt safe in his arms
his cologne always brought you this feeling of familiarity and home
and his skin was so warm that you never wanted to part with him
but you slowly started feeling even more sluggish
there were black spots gradually growing in size and numbers and you closed your eyes, letting your other senses heighten
his breathing was ragged but still quiet
his fingers were digging into your skin only a little
his grip tightened just as yours started to weaken
you could only press a kiss to his shoulder before you felt a few more tears fall onto your skin
if only you could apologise for making him cry, you would’ve done it
but you could barely open your mouth to utter a whimpered sorry
and the last thing you heard was Chrollo, thanking you for loving him
as he got up, with your lifeless body in his arms, cradling you protectively
Chrollo looked down at your face
you looked as if you were sleeping
just like that time when you went to an amusement park and he had to carry you home because of how tired you were
if only there wasn’t so much blood and your body was warmer
Machi and Feitan were looking at the both of you without saying a word
Machi’s eyes were shining with unshed tears
while Feitan grimaced behind his mask
things would never be the same now that you were gone
he could already sense the change in Chrollo
Feitan, do you know who he is?
Yes, seen him before. Yakuza from the northern side of the city. Had a clash a few months ago.
Chrollo only nodded and his fingers tightened their grip a little over your skin that was growing colder
Let’s head back. After all, we should forgive our enemies. But not before they are hanged.
Chrollo and the other two Spiders walked away from the scene in silence
every memory the two of you had built over time, good or bad, was burnt into his mind and kept replaying
he glanced at you again
you would never be forgotten
you would always be loved
Chrollo swore this
and swore to get even and kill them all
revenge is a confession of pain
and he had never felt so much of it before
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thetierdslytherin · 4 years
Text
The Avatar’s sister
Bolin x reader(korra’s sister)
2k words and it’s kinda poorly edited 
a/n there’s some cuss words and some violence?
“We were just looking for the bathroom and we got lost!”
“Ah the old I had to pee excuse you know i'm sick and tired…” I don’t catch the rest of what he's saying because I see a teenage boy dressed in pro bending gear or as I like to call him our way out of this situation. I motion for him to come over praying to the spirits that he can read the room.
          “There you two are, I've been looking everywhere for you two! It's alright Toza there with me” Up close I can see that it's actually Bolin the earth bender for the fire ferrets. Spirits can my day get any better. I've seen a few pro bending matches before and listened to even more. One of the few perks of being the avatar’s sister. While she spends her days training on air temple island I spend my days wandering the city my favorite pastime being watching pro bending matches.Spirits he looks even better up close 
          “Yeah were with him” I say flashing the man a million watt smile and he responds with 
           “so you see we’re together” Oh I like where this is going. Before I can respond Korra replies
            “well not together together” speak for yourself Korra. I'm more than happy to be together together with him. He starts to stammer embarrassed by Korra words so I try to save all of us 
            “You see Toza Bolin and I are together and my sister was just tagging along with us.” Please let this work, if not Tenzin is going to kill me for letting korra go out with me.
           “Ah I don't care I got work to do” the man begins to walk away and I pull the stammering duo out of the room before either of them could blow our cover. I turn around to see a blushing Bolin and a confused looking Korra, I really need to teach her how to pick up on social cues 
           “I’m y/n, a big fan of yours, so Bolin why don't you show the two of us around” I say while grabbing his bicep motioning for him to lead. Bolin showed us around for a while before leading us into an area overlooking the arena “So what do you think best seats in the house huh?” It really is you can see the whole arena from up here and it's much less crowded than the seats in the stadium plus there isn't a guy as easy on the eyes as Bolin down there. 
           “Oh absolutely the view just keeps getting better and better” it's not often that I get to meet people as just y/n, not the avatar's sister, or korra's younger sister. It's nice to be myself around someone knowing that they're not using me to get to the avatar. Besides from what I've seen Bolin is too sweet and innocent to do that anyways.
          “Unbelievable this place is even more amazing than I imagined” I let out a small chuckle at Korra's words. It's nice to see her getting excited at the smallest things, it shows me that she can still be a kid and not burdened by the weight of the world. It makes sneaking out and a possible chewing out from Tenzin worth it “Names Bolin by the way”
“Korra” “I know” they both look at me waiting for an explanation “well i'm just a huge fan of yours” I pause “well the fire ferrets in general” 
“Psst Bolin”
“Yeah” 
“I told you you have to stop bringing your crazy fangirls in here before the matches get them out of here” His older brother Mako whispers this to him Korra and I both hear due to the fact that they suck at whispering. It almost hurts my feelings that we aren't the only ones he brought back here but then again he's not the first guy i've flirted with here. Though he is the first guy i've flirted with that seems so...innocent.
          “Aw c'mon Mako I kinda promised them that they could stay but I got a good feeling about them there's something special about the two of them. I know it” Well he's half right there. I wonder why he lied to his brother so we could stay. He never promised us we could stay back here. Some part of me hopes it's because he's interested in me too. “Come here I want you to meet my brother Mako” he says eagerly pulling me towards him 
          “Mako! Wow I heard you play on the radio” oh boy she's totally fangirling. I personally don’t see what's so interesting about Mako or his brooding douchebag act “cmon Bolin we’re up” Mako says completely ignoring Korra walking past her, see brooding douchebag. Korra not taking the hint turns to Bolin “or I could meet him later”
           “yeah he gets real focused before a match anyways wish me luck” his comment makes me laugh. Something about the positive energy he radiates is infectious. He jogs away, I yell “good luck Bolin” followed by “good luck knock em out” from Korra 
         “So do i have to be the one to say mako is bad news or i have to let you figure it out yourself” I cross my arms giving her my best ‘i know better than you’ look. While Korra may be the older sister, only by 11 months might I add, she doesn't act it. I blame all of her teachers and instructors for never letting her live when she was younger. Now that she's basically an adult seeing the world for the first time she's very sheltered.
          “He is not bad news y/n you heard bolin he was just focused for the match! Besides, did you see him?” let her figure it out for herself it is.
          “Yes and i also saw you drooling at him” I tease 
          “Oh please like you were any better with Bolin you were practically throwing yourself at him” these are the best moments when we can just goof off.
“First off I do not throw myself at anyone, he's just sweet and insanely hot. Secondly which one of us actually has experience with boys” she opens her mouth to defend herself before quickly shutting it. Got her there. “Exactly now pay attention the match is starting” We both turn and lean on the balcony watching the start of the match.
           “The rookie ferrets came out of nowhere and made it further than anyone expected this season but tonight they face their toughest test yet folks” we watch the two teams trading back and forth blows until the fire ferrets ultimately win with Mako knocking all 3 members of the opposing team into the water. I turn to Korra to ask how her first ever pro bending match was but stopping when I see her and Mako holding each other's gazes.
          “Yes! Whoo did you see that one more win and were in the championship tournament!” Bolin yells running into the room skidding to a halt in front of me “so what'd you think y/n?” he looks down at me trying to conceal his excitement waiting for me to answer him looking happier than i've ever seen him-if that's possible. 
           “You guys were amazing Bolin!” I practically yell pulling him into a quick hug.
           “Bolins got some moves huh?” 
          “You could say that again” Before Bolin can say that again Korra grabs him by his shirt pulling him towards her 
          “That was amazing” then korra promlety pushed him away as Mako and Hasook approach arguing about the last match
          “You did more harm than good out there, you almost cost us the match!”
          “We won didn't we?”
          “Barely” 
          “Get off my case pal” Hasook yells before storming out of the room.This doesn't put a damper on korra's mood though as she addresses Mako “You guys were amazing out there especially you mr hat trick” Mako yet again walks right past her him barely paying her any attention to her half heartly saying “oh your still here”
          “What gives you the right to be such an ass mr hat trick?” I say coming to my sister's defence. Pro bender or not it doesn't give him the right to be a jerk. I even bet I could beat him sparring. He's not even good enough to be this much of a jerk.
          “Your good do you think you could show me some tricks?” no no no korra that wasn't the deal I sneak you out we watch one pro bending match and we go back to air temple island.
          “Yeah sure absolutely i'm just not sure how my earth bending might translate to your water bending but we'll figure it out” This cant get any worse if she lets them know she's the avatar we're toast. No ones supposed to know the avatars in republic city
          “Won't be a problem-”
          “korra's right it won't be a problem because we really have to go-” 
           “because i'm an earth bender” great this is j ust great.
          “Im sorry no no i didn't mean to assume ya know cause i was just figuring since well with your water tribe getup that you two were well water bender” 
          “Korras just messing with you of course were both water-” 
          “You're right, I'm a water bender too and fire bender” social. Cues. Korra. 
         “Hmm hmm i'm very confused right now” Bolin 
         “Your the avatar and i'm an idiot” Mako 
         “Both are true” Korra. I throw myself into the nearest chair running my hands through my y/h/c hair.I wonder if I beg for forgiveness if Tenzin will still ground us for the rest of forever 
          “I need a drink” I say, completely ignoring Bolin’s freak out about Korra being the avatar I've heard it all before. Just like that my chances with Bolin have gone out the window no one has ever liked me more than my sister she's the avatar I can't compete with that .I never will be able to. 
          Nonetheless I follow the brothers into the training room and sit on the stairs looking as happy to be there as Mako does. I don't pay much attention to Bolin and Korra training “so mr hat trick is there any reason why you're so prickly or are you always like this?”
          He scoffs “no i just don’t appreciate the two of you showing up like that besides your sister is a piece of work”           “No kidding hat trick don't you know being the avatar comes with a hero complex?” Okay so he's not as bad as I thought.
          “Well it's getting late so i'm going to turn in but you kids have fun”
          “Speaking of Korra we really do need to be going” I speak in a tone to let her know it wasn't an option.I stand up brushing my water tribe robes off “it really was great seeing you Bolin but we have to go”
          “Sorry my sister is being such a wet blanke-” “now Korra” 
          “Hey um y/n could you hang back for a second” here it goes. Is your sister single? Can you set me up? 
          “What do you need Bolin?” 
         “You mean other than you in my life” we both cringe after he says that.
          “That has to be the worst pick up line i've ever heard” 
         He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly “heh yeah it wasn't really my A material but the real reason i wanted to talk to you was well i was mostly just wondering well we have a match next”
          “Bolin spit it out i'm sure it isn't that bad”
          “Do you want to come to our match tomorrow then get some food after” he looks at the ground playing with his fingers. Where was the confident Bolin I met earlier? 
          “Yes”
          “Well it was a stupid idea anyways I shoul- wait yes? Really! I uh I mean of course you would want to get food with me” maybe he's more insecure than I initially thought. But then again people do have layers.
       I kiss him on the cheek turning away from him and walking to the door so he couldn't see the blush on my face “I'll see you tomorrow Bolin”
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mejomonster · 2 years
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having a lot of long term illness sad thoughts today and im a mix of nonstop crying then praying and begging then just sobbing again
anyway my dad tried to be nice and im glad i saw him today but he also said u know ‘i woke up at 5 when i was 60 stretched then took a shower each morning and worked all day so u can do this!~” and i know he was trying to cheer my up
but my dude my man i can shower once a week rn and when i do im exhausted for days and cant do any other chores, when i sit upright all day for work im fucking floored and in bed lying down the rest of the time and most days i Cant sit up all day i have to take multiple lying down breaks just to overall be able to get back up and get all work done. my dude. i havent went grocery shopping yet this week cause i showered and tried to take some walks this week so any extra energy i had to browse aisles is currently sapped, i am Still not reliably able to sit up consistently enough to guarantee i can attend my work meetings and take notes like my damn work requirement needs, i am still calling in sick some days cause i cant sit up long enough to do Any work
like i love my dad but i cant do all my daily work, which i need to do for healthcare to be kept to keep my fucking meds keeping me this minimum functional out of the hospital, i can barely make calls like to my sister or my friends, when a friend comes over idk if i’ll be able to sit up and just be with them a few hours let alone a full evening. i think about dating and i wanna cry cause i dont have energy to message on an app, let alone try to go on a date unless i wanted idk a very short one and to not be able to work that day reliably. can barely hang out with a friend who i know can accommodate if i gotta cancel or lay down, a date just aint in the cards lol. and i am so sad i know i should be happy im eating without puking nonstop now, i know i should be happy i can just read or watch tv again when theres months i couldnt, i know its a miracle im not feeling nausea nonstop like last month and before that which was awful. i know im lucky im not fainting anymore when i stand so i can safely drive again. i know im doing a bit better and its good im not in the hospital over and over anymore. i know i have so many things to be grateful for that in fall i could not have done. i am just still so frustrated and sad and scared to be honest. every day i try to just think about feeding myself, taking my medicine, making myself sit up and work as much as i can, and then trying to do some thing i like before i need to sleep. i know i need to be happy with that. i know i got to only think about that and be happy im not dying like in fall. it doesnt stop me being scared. theres a lot of things i want in life and i dont like that i cant think about them right now. i miss a lot of my friends and i miss my nieces and i hate i dont have the energy to go visit them. i am tired of being tired
i want to get to do things besides work and keep myself functioning. i want to catch up with people and go out on hikes and actually have energy to go to my favorite food market across town and video call my loved ones without worrying im gonna be too tired to chat. i want to shower without my whole day being gone. i tried to stand up for 20 minutes yesterday and walk since i didnt have the energy to dance like i miss dancing, and then afterward all i had energy for was watching videos lying. and even that is wonderful. since months ago i couldnt listen to sounds or look at a video and focus and couldnt stand 20 minutes. and i know its wonderful and im lucky i can do this again. im still scared. scared and mad there’s nothing i can do to fix any of this except wait and hope and keep grinding work days keeping myself as functional as im managing and wait 
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