#anyway. none of this matters i'm just feeling a lot of things rn and i want to say once again that i love bts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rollercoasterwords · 2 months

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Hey so I just finished reading James’ interlude (it was amazing by the way!) and the u portrayed his aromanticism was so fascinating, def one of my portrayals. I saw u answering an anon and u mentioned (correct me if I’m wrong) that his aromanticism kinda comes from him being the chosen one, and how stuff like gender and sexuality are socially constructed. This is such an interesting concept to me coz I hear that language getting thrown around a lot but I never really understood what it meant.

It kinda reminded me of a convo I had with my transmasc friend. He said that if he had been born a boy he probably would have been transfem. At first I was pretty surprised, but then I thought abt it and realised that despite being a lesbian, if I had been born a boy I probably would have been gay. This revelation really stumped me coz, for context, Income from a conservative religious background, so I’ve always latched onto the idea that being gay is smth innate, or how God made me. But after that revelation,, I was like,,, maybe I can be straight if I try hard enough?? Liking girls is not smth innate within me?? Idk.

Sorry for the rambling lol but reading ur works always gets me thinking deeper abt these kind of topics. Probs has smth to do with u studying gender studies lol.

Anyways love ur work and have a good day <33

yeah i mean. i def think it's a good idea 4 everyone 2 spend time pondering & developing their own understanding of gender; ik mine has changed significantly over the course of my life & likely will continue 2 change as i grow older & learn more, etc.

i think one thing people tend 2 get stuck on is this idea that either ur born w ur identity (whether that's gender, sexuality, etc) baked in & have 2 discover it throughout ur life (bound up in the post-Enlightenment idea of a disembodied 'soul' or 'mind') OR it's all socially constructed, so it's completely made up/shaped by outside forces and we're all just playing pretend, etc. but that's really not what i mean when i say that i think of gender (& sexuality, etc) as socially constructed.

the best metaphor i have rn 4 explaining my own worldview is the idea of an accent. obviously, there is a material component to someone's accent: the shape of their mouth, their teeth--their ears, their hearing, etc. all of these physical & material factors influence how someone's accent might develop. but none of those factors really matter until placed within a social context--depending on where & how ur raised, ur accent will vary wildly, and it won't necessarily remain static throughout the course of your life. you & your family might have different accents; you might use a different accent to speak another language; your physical body might change in some way that affects your accent and the way u speak (stroke, hearing loss, etc). but there's no single, "true" accent inside of you waiting 2 be discovered and spoken. it's a socially constructed part of ur identity that develops throughout ur life, and can only be understood & have meaning attributed to it in a social context. and once u develop an accent, it feels as natural & as much a part of u as something like hair color, etc--it's not something u can just snap ur fingers & change, despite the fact that u weren't "born that way."

obviously, this is a metaphor, and there r many ways gender identity differs from accents--but i find it useful 4 helping illustrate in a tangible way what i'm talking abt when i say something is a "social construction." w james in wfrau specifically, what i was trying 2 say in that ask was not, again, that being "the chosen one" made him aromantic; rather, what i'm hoping 2 convey is that his experience growing up as "the chosen one" has fundamentally shaped his own understanding of his inability to experience/confusion surrounding romantic love (this is also why i avoid concretely labeling him as aromantic in the tags on the fic; it's not necessarily how he understands himself). he attributes this part of his identity to his understanding of himself as a "hero," i.e. someone who is not meant 2 prioritize any one person above The Cause/The Quest, bc his inability to grasp this concept of romantic love & reciprocate it does not align w normative understandings of love & so makes him feel ashamed & isolated & as though there's something "wrong" with him, & attributing this "broken" aspect of himself 2 the fact that he's meant 2 be a "hero" helps him reconcile w this piece of his identity that he otherwise doesn't understand how 2 qualify. again, i'm less concerned w whether there's some inherent "aromanticism" baked into him or whether he'd feel the same/identify the same way in different circumstances; what i'm interested in is looking at how this specific character has been shaped by these specific circumstances. hope that makes sense lol also ty glad ur enjoying the fic!

#ask #wfrau #ranting and raving #<- just since this got kinda long

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aleksa-sims · 3 months

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Simselfstory

The next day D. & I went to my parents to pick up our cat and some of my stuff. Last night, we talked again. We decided to just stay together for now, to see..... how things will turn out.

There was also something else D. told me. Since he was getting better while he was away, he thought about starting his own business, bcs he quit his job. My Dad offered to help him.

The two had this in mind anyway. They talked about it months ago and now it was time to inplement things. I don’t want to go into too much detail rn. It will explain itself over time.

Mom: You have to take your pills regularly, D. This is important! The same goes for you, A.! The more time passes, the better you’ll be and hopefully..... forget what happend. 😞

Dad (to Daniel): The main thing is that you are safe & fine. Soon we have a lot to do and distraction is always good! But one thing I want to mention again. No matter what probs you two have, even if you relapse, talk to us!! None of us will blame you for asking for help. We want you two to be well, okay?

Daniel: Yea, I got it. 😔

Dad: And what about you A.?

Me: Yea, ok! But I want you to help D. with that job thing.

Dad: Of course I’ll help him. And actually we could start immediately, but if we proceed as planned and discussed, it may be that you and Daniel have to move. 😕

Me: Um... okay. I am prepared to do whatever it takes. 🙂(😟)

Daniel (to me): You...are really ready to move? To.... my house!? 😯

Me: We’ve talked about it before, and..... now that I’m pregnant, why not? You, me and.................. our Baby? 😳

Daniel: I love you, so I’ll love your Baby, too. Our Baby! And well, N.'s Baby. 🤨

Mom: Are you serious about this, D.? Can- and do you even want that?? 😟

Daniel: Yes!

Me: We decided to try and I have to talk to N. about it too.

Dad: However you decide to continue, together or .... separately, I will help Daniel. I’m just clarifying this, so you don’t make your decision dependent on that.

My Dad and Daniel kept talking about their new plans, while my Mom couldn't stop asking me questions.

Mom: You really wanna move? You know what kind of... strange things his mother did there. In that house! 😟

Me: It's a pretty house. I like it there. And she moved out, it's all fine. Besides, I have other worries rn, as you know.

Mom: That’s what I’ve been trying to make clear to you these past few weeks. But well, now you're pregnant. Either you two accept this and move on, or you’re really getting a divorce.

Me: He wants us to stay together. And actually I want the same. I don't wanna lose him.... I’m moving back to our apartment with him for a short while, see if Daniel and I can make it? And, I'm gonna talk to N. I don’t want to disappoint N. or hurt him. I have to come up with something. A soloution! 😟🤯

Mom: In other words, it's either/or? There is no other way out, A.!

Me: Who says that? You?.... I’m gonna do what’s right for me, Daniel and Nico, not for you or anyone else. 😒

Mom: What are you trying to tell me?.... You can’t do the same thing you did back then. This isn't normal!.. And you were unhappy! That’s not what you want! And I’m sure Daniel won’t agree with that. 😦

Me: I'm going to do what I got to do.

Mom: I know you A.! You won’t do anything. You will wait until one of them.......... goes nuts.

Me: I don’t think so. 😒

Just before Daniel and I wanted to leave, Ana also had some questions for me.😩

Me: Everything you are about to say, drop it pls.

Ana: Um.... ok! Have you had makeup sex? Or, no! I’d rather call it... homecoming-sex.🧐 I mean, you didn’t really fight, he just... took off.🤷‍♀️

Me: No, we didn’t!! We talked!

Ana: Then it's obvious! You want N.! With him you couldn’t wait even 24 hours. Plus, he knocked you up. 🤷‍♀️😬

Me: Ah...yup. You know, we'll see S. later. Are you joining us?

Ana: Nah! Sounds like a double date, I really don’t feel like it. I have other plans. And now go and have fun with your..... man. 😏

Me: Who are you having fun with, Ana? 🤨 Dennis?

Ana: Are you jealous of me for Dennis? 😜

Me: Ugh!... NO! 😖

Ana: Don't worry, sis. I’m not dating Dennis, a messed up guy. NO thanks! I have fun...... with myself. 😄

Me: Hmm?... I know you Ana! You have a secret. And you know me, baby sis. I'll uncover it. 😏💁‍♀️

Ana: Weirdo!

Ana really had a secret. At first I thought she was back with Adam or something, but no, it wasn’t Adam. Just that much, I get why she kept it a secret. 🤭

Previous/Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #rl story #myrlgameplay #cw addiction #cw pregnancy

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rosesradio · 13 days

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may i ask why ppl hate caleo so much? I'm reading ToA rn so idk if it's based on stuff that happens there, but in HoO I didn't really catch anything that would make it this "don't touch with a ten foot pole" ship, yk?

/gen

Hi !! Thanks for sending this in. I feel like I and others have kinda gone through some things in the anti-caleo tag, but I'm gonna go through some of the reasons with as much textual evidence and objectivity as possible. (minus my inevitable unorganized rambles, they're contextually relevant, stop looking at me--)

That being said, this is completely a matter of opinion, as all shipping is. I don't mean to say that you are "allowed" to ship or that you're "stupid" for shipping xyz, I couldn't care less what you ship--let's all just be nice to each other.

That being said, let's start with the two most common reasons why most people dislike caleo:

1.) the age gap

2.) their "bickering to lovers" dynamic is not written well/they seem to dislike each other/etc

The easier one to start with would be the age gap. Now (warnings for rent-lowering gunshots around my blog), I meant what I said when I said I don't care about ships. Most of my beloved mutuals ship the nastiest shit imaginable, and I am very anti-censorship (but that's several other posts). I generally have preferences for healthy ships when it comes to a Fluffy Endgame (dark fics with toxic ships are different to me).

That being said, I don't typically enjoy ships with a large age gap, and most other people find them unappealing as well. I could be persuaded with some (nipollo and rachel/apollo, i'm looking at you), but caleo just kinda grosses me out in this regard, probably due to other aspects of their relationship.

(Some people say she's "mentally fifteen", but I don't really buy that--if she were like a faerie or something, maybe, but I see her more as Edward in Twilight--looks young but has wisdom beyond her years. There's no definitive answer on this so it's not something I would like to debate (none of this is lol) but I thought I would mention it anyways.)

Although your question is about ToA, I'm only going to cover HoH through the first ToA book, because I'm still reading through the ToA books (though I know the big spoilers). I know caleo takes on a bigger role in the second book so i might come back and do a part two to uh...complain about their dynamic more? lol

so, without further ado--

The House of Hades

So, this is the first impression we get of Calypso from Leo's perspective--the highlights to keep this from being 1 million years long (it still will be lol)--

"She looked maybe fifteen, about Leo's age, and, sure, she was pretty; but with that angry expression on herface she reminded Leo of every popular girl in every school he'd ever attended—the ones who made fun of him, gossiped a lot, thought they were so superior, and basically did everything they could tomake his life miserable.Leo disliked her instantly.

---

The girl clenched her fists. Leo was pretty sure she was going to march down the crater and punch him in the face.

---

"Show yourself!" the girl yelled at the sky, completely ignoring Leo. "It's not bad enough I am exiled? It's not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I'm allowed to meet? You think it's funny to send me this—this charbroiled runt of a boy to ruin my tranquility? This is NOT FUNNY! Take him back!""

--pg 213 of The House of Hades pdf.

Now, keeping in mind that I read this for the first time at 13 and he was my book boyfriend (Or Whatever), I was not a fan of this, but even now that I've grown out of that, this still rings unfavorable to me.

He compares her to his bullies, the ones who made fun of him and created insecurities within him. And, making no effort to clear her name from this association, what is one of the first things she does? Screams at the gods for sending someone so conventionally unattractive. One of Leo's biggest insecurities in the books is not being as conventionally attractive or built as the other guys in the seven. One of his other insecurities is not having a girlfriend when everyone else is coupled up. So the solution is not to have him learn self-love and/or the love of friends, but to instead give him a girlfriend--the build-up time of which is short and intense. Not only that, but his love interest insults one of his biggest insecurities.

We're off to a great start.

Of course, I can't really blame Calypso for being pissed about the wreckage and about being sent another hero instead of being freed from the island. I would be pretty pissed, too, but she still treats him pretty badly, seemingly because he's not the "right" hero.

(For this next bit I am going through their time together in House of Hades and just noting anything that rings as a red flag to me--which is not a stretch as it's pretty much every other line lol. The brackets [] add context for dialogue, the parentheses () is my commentary, though most of these speak for themselves imo)

""Oh-gee-gee-ah." The girl pronounced it slowly, as if Leo were five years old.

---

She looked like she was about to answer but stopped herself. "It doesn't matter. You'll be gone soon. You're obviously a mistake."

That was harsh, Leo thought.He'd spent enough time thinking he was a mistake—as a demigod, on this quest, in life in general. He didn't need a random crazy goddess reinforcing the idea

---

"What am I supposed to do, then? Sit in the sand dunes until I die?" [Leo asked]

"That would be fine...." The girl threw down her trowel and cursed at the sky. "Except I suppose he can't die here, can he? Zeus! This is not funny!"

---

She looked the same age as him, but he wondered how old she really was. (age gap thing, delicious!)

---

"Would you be sweet," [Calypso said], "if they laughed at you by sending another hero, but a hero who looked like—like you?"

---

"Three thousand." Leo's mouth felt tingly, like he'd just eaten Pop Rocks. "Uh, you look good for three thousand."

---

"And now...the worst insult of all. The gods mock me by sending you." [Calypso said]

Anger bubbled in Leo's stomach.Yeah, typical. If Jason were here, Calypso would fall all over him. She'd beg him to stay, but he'd be all noble about returning to his duties, and he'd leave Calypso brokenhearted. That magic raft would totally arrive for him. (heartbreaking to hear about leo's insecurities but also...he is so gay for jason jdskjfs--)

But Leo? He was the annoying guest she couldn't get rid of. She'd never fall for him, because she was totally out of his league.

---

Despite the gifts, Calypso obviously didn't want to see him. One time he poked his head inside the cave and she freaked out, yelling and throwing pots at his head. (how to treat an abuse survivor 101)

Yeah, she was definitely on Team Leo. (this honestly just reminds me of the Echo scene and, honestly, I'd ship him with Echo Big Time over calypso)

He ended up pitching a more permanent camp near the footpath, where the beach met the hills.That way he was close enough to pick up his meals, but Calypso didn't have to see him and go into a pot-throwing rage.

---

"They are completely fireproof," Calypso promised. "They'll stay clean and expand to fit you,should you ever become less scrawny." (the prev part about her repairing the clothes was actually sweet in a platonic way...could have gone without the body-shaming !)

---

Then he remembered that this annoying fifteen-year-old girl was actually the immortal daughter of a Titan."

--pages 214-227 of The House of Hades pdf

Now, at this point I'll say that their relationship actually becomes quite sweet once they get past the frankly horrible section of time where they want each other to die. They're both lonely, they come to some understanding...I suppose this is a matter of opinion, but the romance aspect does feel forced. Time is different in Ogygia so it's hard to say how long Leo was there, if I were to estimate I'd say 3 weeks, but given that it's like 19 pages (and the text is larger on the pdf copy lol), it does feel rushed. Man do I wish they went for the platonic angle, but Richard could never.

The Blood of Olympus

Everyone's favorite book! lmao.

Now that our lovebirds are in Lovebird Territory (i guess), the amount of toxicity dwindles, but let's bite:

"'Sit tight, Sunshine,' he told Calypso's picture. 'I'll get back to you, just like I promised.'

Leo could imagine her response: 'I am not waiting for you, Leo Valdez. I am not in love with you.And I certainly don't believe your foolish promises!' The thought made him smile. (I guess this is supposed to be sarcastic, but way to reintroduce the concept of her really not liking him?)"

--pg 64 of The Blood of Olympus pdf

So, most of this book has mentions of Calypso from Leo's pov, and I gotta say (forgetting entirely that this doc is supposed to at least try to be subjective)...they neutered my boy. I often don't reread past MoA because of the caleo content, though what glimpses I've seen shows that his pov has experienced a massive shift. I think having so little page time and such an intense relationship buildup causes some readers to dislike how fundamentally she alters Leo's pov.

Additionally, I've seen some posts about Leo's suicide ideation. That is not something I want to go in depth about on this post, but I did want to draw attention to this excerpt I caught:

"Now the Argo II was approaching the end of its voyage. Leo's whole life – his childhood with Tía Callida; his mother's death in that warehouse fire; his years as a foster kid; his months at Camp Half-Blood with Jason and Piper – all of it would culminate tomorrow morning in one final battle.

He opened the access panel. Festus's voice creaked over the intercom.

'Yeah, buddy,' Leo agreed. 'It's time.'

More creaking.

'I know,' Leo said. 'Together till the end?'

Festus squeaked affirmatively.

Leo checked the ancient bronze astrolabe, which was now fitted with the crystal from Ogygia. Leo could only hope it would work.

'I will get back to you, Calypso,' he muttered. 'I promised on the River Styx.'

He flipped a switch and brought the navigation device online. He set the timer for twenty-four hours.

Finally he opened the engine's ventilator line and pushed inside the vial of the physician's cure. It disappeared into the veins of the ship with a decisive thunk.

'Too late to turn back now,' Leo said.

He curled on the floor and closed his eyes, determined to enjoy the familiar hum of the engine for one last night."

--pg 224 of The Blood of Olympus pdf

I'm not going to draw any definitive conclusions on the subtext of this or his plan with the physician's cure, but I will say Leo definitely needs therapy and the support of his friends over his want of a girlfriend. (And I'd say this regardless of ships--even if it were my beloved valdangelo. If Leo's mental health isn't addressed, it just makes it seem like a lazy fix-all)

I'm not going to pretend to be the best writer or understand character arcs better than our good friend Richard, but I think one of the reasons why Leo's character arc failed in this final installment is that Leo got what he wanted instead of what he needed. The best character arcs will display what a character wants, but by the end of the journey, a character will realize what they really need.

For example, in Gravity Falls (great show btw), towards the end of the series, Mabel wants to stay in a magical bubble created as a trick by Bill Cipher so she can stay in Gravity Falls forever. In the end, however, she realizes that what she really needs is to go back home to California with her brother, where they can get through high school with the support of each other.

If Leo had undergone an arc in which he really wants a girlfriend, but later realizes he needs to love himself first, that would have been really great and nice for kids to see that they don't need a significant other to make them whole.

Additionally--surprisingly--there were no glaring red flags for the rest of this book. They have a general vibe of "she doesn't really like him and he's a silly little guy" that I feel like is just rick pulling a "can I copy your homework?" with percabeth but it came out Wrong, but that's a matter of opinion.

ToA: The Hidden Oracle

""Here you go." Leo handed her a glass of lemonade. His expression seemed darker and more anxious, as if...Ah, of course. Leo had rescued Calypso from her prison island. In doing so, Calypso had lost her powers. Leo felt responsible."

--pg 239 of The Hidden Oracle pdf

This seems like something they'd have to work through, which is possible, but also a very intense thing to put on a relationship between an already traumatized 16 year old (and his over 3000 year old girlfriend, etc.) I suppose if this was written through in a thoughtful way I'd understand, but it's kind of one of those things that makes me look at them and go...realistically, at best I see them lasting 6 months to a year.

(tbh a lot of the ships outside of percabeth don't seem to have that...well, percabeth longevity--i mean just look at how jiper broke up. not that Richard would break caleo up atp, of course...unless...)

Final Thoughts (unless I return after finishing ToA but no promises)

And so, we conclude. I think I learned some stuff by revisiting canon instead of just remaining amongst online fandom & my memory of canon. Honestly, I can see why people would like this ship--I still hate it the most out of any pjo ship, but I gotta admit it had its sweet moments. Just as I pointed out red flags and had opinions stated as subjective, other people could point out what they consider green flags and why they think the ship is great.

To conclude (my English teachers quaking in their boots rn), myself and other caleo haters dislike the ship due to the age difference, the rushed nature, and the enemies to lovers dynamic being written in a way that ultimately gives the energy that our love birds do not like each other. I hope this dive into the foundation of their relationship clarifies some of these things for you, and thanks for the ask!

#anti caleo #pjo #leo valdez #i didn't send this to my editor and think a lot into it what are you talking about #rose's asks

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wejustvibing · 3 months

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As much as it hurts not seeing him with them anymore because he truly loved that team and there was even talks about him being a future ambassador for them forever even when he retires but i can’t help but feel the treatment he got ever since 2021 didn’t help at all it was one of the most heartbreaking moments in his life and they didn’t take his side like they should… and they brought us toto’s lap dog and he’s taking credits for everything and ignoring lewis in everything never gonna forget lewis’s obvious heartbreak in singapore this year or even worse the qatar one where they literally humiliated him by shoving a camera to his face and apologizing to woody and not giving a damn about his feelings..💔

It hurts because this is so not the way it was supposed to end between them at all for sure a lot of Mercedes employees adore lewis and are just shocked and broken over this news

And Ferrari is just i don’t know what to say if they’re not gonna be in a winning path it’s just a waste of time for him and more stress them being racist is no surprise this whole sport is tbh and they’re all disgusting i know lewis can handle it well he’s been doing it since he was a kid but i just need to see him back to his winning thriving ways and for him to finally being happy that’s it i most definitely wanted to be at the place he called home for more than a decade but it is what is and him being happy and relieved is what really matters to me.

P.S, can’t wait for toto to realize how big of a fuck up did he do when he treated lewis like this the past years and i wont be even sad if mercedes is gonna be witnessing a downfall after he leaves🙂

"It hurts because this is so not the way it was supposed to end between them at all for sure"

that part is the realest when i think about it from his point of view. he's had to make this decision, he's had to put himself first under whatever circumstances, the reality of which we might never get to know. this is not some "natural end" like toto has said. but anyway i'm glad he's separated himself enough to understand the reality over wasting time chasing something that's probably only imaginary. once he did that, it must have been a simple pros and cons decision because what really is the difference between merc and ferrari rn for him to stick around with one and getting mistreated vs starting afresh where he feels wanted with the other? none to me. besides, most brains behind the glory days have already left (some are even at ferrari) must have taken a lot freeing himself from the shackles of "we're family" and "this is my home" mentality and i'm so proud of him for doing that. he could have waited out the rest of his years in his comfort zone blaming how things are not improving. instead at 40yo he's betting on himself all over again and taking risk and charge of his own fate. you just have to respect it for what it is

#anonymous #and at the end of the day this is just a job switch i'm just happy he's making the move instead of being stuck forever

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pommunist · 8 days

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(Désolée pour le pavé, j'avais plus de choses à dire que je pensais)

I mean, I understand that the long anon wants to trust Q and the QSMP, because I truly think that we ALL want it to get better.

But I think our vision for "making things right" is just different.

Anon seems mostly focused on the people who are still in the project and how they're changing it for the better (i assume, for future employees) , while we tend to focus on the people who were kicked out and were never contacted again.

Us pointing out that the ex admins have been ghosted for 2 months is not "detail chasing" or "talking about past mistreatment" It's literally ongoing. And it is still mistreatment.

Maybe not everyone sees it that way, I guess. I'm sure some people think they're being impatient, or they don't deserve to be talked to because they're not in the project anymore, or even consider the ex employees newfound "fame" to be at their advantage, somehow. But even so, it doesn't change the fact that none of the whistle-blowers have seen any steps taken to compensate them, or even hear them, for the months of free labor and abuse. At least, as of now.

After all, the only promise Quackity made is that he'll make things right for the people working in Qstudio in the future. So far, he said nothing about the ex employees except vagueposting about "people who want to destroy the project".

We're allowed to be skeptic and even critical about how this is all handled. And we're allowed to express said skepticism online, where we can interact with others about it. Just like anon is allowed to express their support and trust in QStudio.

The problem comes, as usual, from parasocials of all extremes sending hate to everyone involved. And I do agree that this whole thing being public is mostly to blame for that.

I do think it's too bad that it didn't happen privately, but now, it's out, and the silver lining is that it allowed other ex employees to make their mistreatment heard without feeling like they're insane for it. After all, it's been months, and only now do we hear anything. It shows that the mental pressure to "dont talk to any of your colleagues and lay low or else" really stopped people from facing their abuse with the gravity it deserved.

And honestly, seeing how they're handling it rn, I doubt that Qstudio would have taken the right steps if it had been done 100% privately.

Like, maybe we're missing some legal context here, but why did Qstudio not explicitly ask for the ex-employees' testimonies yet? Even now, with a literal union repeatedly advising them to do so, they're not doing it.

They could make a separate email adress, share it privately to all ex employees and let them send their testimonies there. They dont have to acknowledge everything immediately. They dont have to say "we will solve this in one week". But ghosting such a large chunk of the people who made your project work and only allowing them to either completely shut up or go public is... a choice. So yeah, maybe going public was necessary for them to be heard. Idk. I'm just hoping things will get better soon on that front.

Agree with everything here so not much to add except maybe :

Really I think a lot of people are looking at it like : it’s okay things will be better starting now ! While forgetting that everything that happened before still need to be adresses and solved. Not even an opinion, as this can very well be a legal matter and a serious one at that. Can’t just go "oops sorry you guys were mistreated…Anyway we’ll move on without you towards better things" that’s not how it works 😵‍💫

And for the "it should have happened privately" argument I can’t anymore because yes, ideally this is how it would have gone down. But that’s not how it went, let’s move on and more importantly let’s not blame people who talked about it, as they would have been within their right to do so even if it was done with the primary intent to expose everything. Also "it should’ve blablabla" well Qstudios should have gotten their shit together from day one and yet ! What ifs will get us nowhere.

(Et t’inquiète pour le pavé, on a vu pire ici 😭)

#just le meme du screen snap avec écrit « ohlala il en avait des choses à dire il débit il veut pas s’arrêter 😂😂#c’est la ligne édito de ce blog

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timetravelerpyrite · 6 months

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Uh, hi.

My name is Pyrite, I go by he/him mainly… don't mind she/her though. Newly found out I like Pup/Pupself pronouns too.

I'm 30. (B-day is November 16th, if that matters to anyone.)

//Current Arc: None rn!

//Finished Arcs: Fool's Faller, ABSOLute Panic!

Anyway, not too important, I just kinda found this site and realized 'Oh, there's some people like me here!' so here I am I guess?

Don't expect me to be friendly.

I don't bite! I'm trying to make more friends, but don't shove too much at me at once please.

I don't like staying in one place, it makes me anxious, no I won't tell you why. I was running a lot because of my Ex, she and my bio fam wants me to come back, but I won't, I'm actually tying to get use to staying in one place now.

Most important thing, I'm a Time Traveler and Dimension hopper, how the hell am I both?

I caught a Celebi (He/She/They) by COMPLETE ACCIDENT so now I'm kinda stuck with them, and I kinda got adopted by a Dimension hopping Iron called Iron Eclipse (It/Its)… no, I do not expect you to know what that is.

Call me a fake if you want, I don't care, just try not to hold me down in one spot, got it? Wow I don't like this part the most, why was I such a jerk in my intro??

Anyway, I might visit ya if I feel like, I have two adopted (not legally but who gives a shit) sisters @queen-of-the-phantoms and @pokedexcamp! I'm dating @silveredfeathers and living with him and his wife (and now my Girlfriend-??) @trainerlynda.

Adding an addendum: Sometimes we, his Irons, connect to his phone to be able to post. We are;

🐉: Iron Rage. (She/Her)

🕊️: Iron Serenity! (He/They/Fae)

🌋: Iron Eruption. (He/Him)

🌑🌈: Iron Eclipse.

⌛: And sometimes I steal the phone, I'm Chronos his Celebi.

🍞: Thanatos types sometimes too, she has rather broken English so it will likely be autocorrected to hell and back, please tell her if it gets a word wrong, from what I can tell she wants to understand (She/It)

//Open ask games!

Pelipper mail and malice.

Ask an invasive question.

//Magnifying glass ask game!

See his dreams and nightmares.

//A post for you to give me permission for him to hop to your character's dimension! (Either on purpose or by accident.)

//Ooc info under the cut!

//Ooc. This is a sideblog! Unreality. Mod is an adult and goes by she/her he/him pronouns All art I use is my own (Or made for me)! I follow from @theshadowqueenofthedistortion, more info about me on my main! This blog is not settled in one dimension at the moment, so expect conflicting area info. Here's some of my other accounts as well!

//Semi-Serious blog, I will participate in active silliness and also write serious stuff. Will sometimes touch on death, abuse and a few other things, I will tag the serious stuff with their appropriate tw/cw tags.

//I will not ship with anyone who isn't my BF (and myself, but that's a note for later), just for my comfort. This boi does n o t stay in one place, if he goes to visit someone he will get there himself/he fell into that universe by accident.

//Magic anons are allowed! But I am picky.

//I am very open to crossover stuff!

//This guy is very much centered around Future Paradox pokemon! He's not gonna know all the Pokemon's names and will call them 'Irons'. The Iron names are VERY much headcannons unless talking about a cannon Iron.

//When he's on the move things he says aloud will be under

[Voice to text active!] where as when he's actully writing it will be under [Pyrite is typing...]

//What the tags mean.

//Shadow Mod Speaks: Mod speaking.

//Mod Reference: Me and/or Zorana making references for this account

//Shadow Art: Art by me that isn't a ref/finished.

//Pyrite info: Self-Explanatory. For both IC and OOC.

Little Hops: His post/response tag.

Warping Reality: Closed and/or serious RP. I will also use this tag when responding seriously to something.

Where am I today?: When Pyrite is mainly talking to himself.

The Pokemon tags: They are for each respective Pokemon/Iron

Magic Anon Things.: Stuff with magic anons.

Triangle Terror: Pyrite dealing with the truth triangles. He can't turn them off, so hehehe.

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clits-and-clips · 12 days

Note

Hey…as someone who has been in a similar position I truly believe you have to give it time and sad to say…cease contact for while. I know dude…it seems impossible it seems scary probably gut wrenching, but your health comes first. If you’re worried about time honestly fuck time. Everyone heals in their own way not everyone bounces back immediately. Not everyone handles situations the same and that’s okay.

You don’t even have to go cold turkey on communication. I always say to myself work with the issues instead of against it. Slowly kind of weening off also is a valid option.

I know the fact that it feels like it’s hurting you more than him and yeah that shit stings man. But again you have to take care of yourself. Even if you’re shitting crying and shaking it will become more bearable. Yes you will have these days and again THATS OKAY!! Regressing is part of the process of healing just try your hardest not to dwell and stay active.

It took me almost a year or two to get over that bond I had with my ex, attachment as well. Even though the thought of him moving on still kinda makes me feel a way, but I’ve realized it’s more so I’m afraid of being left behind stuck in the same place while possibly he flourishes in life. There are differences in our situation so I can only speak so much, but a lot of what you’re going through emotionally wise I get it man.

Like rn it’s hard for me to be social and have relationships with people because I’m scared honestly lol. Even platonically. At this point, I’m just taking this time to get to know myself and pay more attention to my hobbies. I’m also trying to force myself to do more things alone and volunteer places like community gardens and pantries. I’m not even there to make connection with people. if I do, cool, but It’s more so exposure therapy for me lol.

You got this man. Always give yourself, patience, grace and kindness. That’s my mantra lately lol.

I know I’m just a stranger but I do care. I don’t ever want anyone to feel this way.

Stay well and busy chief 🫡

Not talking to him at all has been difficult and I haven't managed to do it except for one day so far. I've been going up and down so much and just cannot accept that it's over. I honestly don't know where to go from here. I never thought we would ever break up so it's fucking hard. I do worry if I dont give him space and stop messaging that I'm going to push him away tho. The only way to stop that from happening is to focus on me which I'm trying so so hard to do, but none of it seems worth it which I've said before. I feel stupid cause I've said all of this before and I can't stop going on a loop at this point.

I appreciate the message and I will try and keep it in mind. I know I'll move on eventually but right now it's not what i want. All I think about is mending it and being with him again but I think its hurting me more than I'd like to admit. No matter how many times people and family tell me I need to accept it I just can't. And I know it takes effort to focus on the good and time and space to make it happen but I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. I have no friends to hang out with to take my mind off it, no job to go to every day, and as much as I'd like to get a job I have struggled so hard with my anxiety it just seems impossible. Anyway thank you again I appreciate it♡♡

#ask #anon #fml haha i must be so annoooyyyiiinnnggg

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pacificwanderer · 1 year

Note

Soooooo what are your thoughts on the Rey film?

Hey Nonnie,

I have a lot of feelings LOL. None of my ire is directed at you, and I'm trying not to get too worked up given that we know who the director will be and that Daisy will be in it (everything is meant in a general sense, and it's just my feelings on the matter so whatever). Also, given their track record with directors and writers.... we'll see how it all ends up going!

As far as story, well...

So this is such a coincidence, given that I just saw Su//zume and was thinking that if anything that follows up TRoS ISN'T at least thematically similar to that movie, I don't want it. It still holds.

This is my interpretation, and if others don't agree. That's fine. I'm not really looking to argue with anyone or win anyone over lol. People are allowed to have different interpretations of media, but for me, TRoS didn't work. Both as a fan of the ST and as a lifelong fan of SW. And I don't know how they plan on moving forward with that fucking albatross weighing them down! I really don't!

My problem was and remains that TRoS IS NOT REY'S STORY or really any of the ST characters, it's all focused on the past and that's not a great way to build a point to go forward from. Hell, it's not really even a story so much as characters moving from one set piece to another in an effort to disguise how it's a movie that's basically serving one purpose: address and make up for prior criticism (mostly from re//ddit and prolific you//tubers).

I could go point by point about how that film was set up to make up for "disappointing" certain fans with how TLJ went, but I don't have the time rn for that (I have a lot of work to do in the next few days and not much time, but here i am on tumblr lol). I'm sure it's been done to death, anyway, but people far more eloquent than I.

That film is and was and ever will be is a reactionary film that was made to be an answer to very specific criticism from a very specific subset of the fandom, and it failed. Not only to address their criticisms but to stand on its own as a film. That story takes Rey, takes her character and her story, and reskins her to be Luke 2.0.

But they didn't want that. Those fans didn't want her to be a stand-in for Luke. They didn't want her to symbolically be a Sky//walker, they wanted her to BE one via BIRTH (Luke's daughter or whatever). What we got was insulting to those fans and to fans of TLJ. It's one of the more blatant examples of pandering that I can think of (even if it's badly done), and I really don't know if I'm ever gonna get over it entirely lol. Like I've mostly moved on because there are storytellers out there busting their ass telling stories that deserve to be told, so I have other things to focus on.

Rey's story needs to be her own, and I don't know how they're going to accomplish that given what's happened in TRoS. She's not her own character anymore. She's just... a vessel. Fuck I hate that. I hate saying that! I HATE IT! But that comes from the creators themselves! I love Rey! I wouldn't have written like three-quarters of a million words of fanfic about her world otherwise! AND THEY DID NOT. AND IT SHOWS.

And it's personally offensive to me that they took a character that I loved THE WAY SHE WAS and tried to make her fit for people who were committed to hating her from the start!!!! How dare they! And not just her, but what they did with the rest of the ST characters makes me so fucking angry i have a hard time being chill about it lol.

Anyway, I have some reservations about their ability to craft a tale that's going to honor her character and not just be some sort of way for Luke to jump in and take over the narrative again. As he's done before and will do again (hi there, man//do, nice luke you got there for no fucking reason).

Anyway, I very much try to keep to my own corner of the fandom because I just don't have the energy for much these days, so I'm sure other people have different feelings about it all. I hope it goes well! I doubt it will! Like Andor was great, but Tony is a great storyteller, and I don't think the person they've tacked on to finish the Rey script is capable of doing her justice (sorry bro, PB is good, but it's tragic, do I want that for Rey??? no).

Storytelling should be the first and foremost thing they're focusing on, and... I don't really trust them in that regard anymore. The SW ip is too all over the place, and there's a certain note of cynicism that just seems to infect everything these days. I'm fucking tired of the american monomyth, i'm tired of campbell redux (with no deeper thought or criticism of the aforementioned, just shallow retelling to tick of fucking plot points and NOTHING MORE).

It just... feels like they're trying to find their way without really thinking about what got them to this point. I hope it doesn't suck, but if it does, then there's always fanfic.

PERSONALLY idgaf about rebuilding the gd jedi temple, so i hope THAT changes because it's been done and they fucked up REPEATEDLY like how many movies do we really need of that!!!?? God, there's a whole wide sw universe out there, and they make it feel so small.

So fucking small. What a waste.

TLDR:

Anyway! Hope it works out for anyone who's interested. If anyone's really interested in how I'd like a post-tros narrative to go, please go see su//zume. i fucking adore it to bits and pieces.

Cheers, Nonne!

#post tros speculation #rey nobody speculation #sw negativity #i'm not looking for a fight anyone lol #long post #text #asks #asks and answers #ask pacificwanderer

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nerves-nebula · 10 months

Note

was wonderinv who to ask then saw ur poston art school and went . yo!

anyway can i ask hows art school? like . is it worth it?? whats the experience and everything like + do u regret ur decision to go there? (dont feel forced to answer any of these) (for context + incase it wasn’t obvious ive been wanting and thinking of going to one if ever given the chance)

Oh man, where to start. Well first of all some of the main reasons to go to art school are the resources and the connections.

If you wanna get into furniture for example, that’s a lot easier if you have access to a whole workshop with tons of different saws. I’ve learned to use three different book binders as well as done hand binding myself, which is great fun for me but idk how I’ll make money out of that.

The thing is that depending on your major/department, a lot of the stuff you do in art school you could theoretically do on your own as well. So if you think you have enough willpower to make your own schedule and find your own resources then I’d say do that, and work on building your portfolio so you can show it off if you ever get the chance. especially if you don’t really have the money for college (I’m incredibly lucky to have someone help me cuz otherwise I’d be screwed)

If I’m honest, I didn’t really want to go to college at the time of me applying. I was kind of interested in learning how to wrap cars, and I wanted to take a course in that, if you can believe it. but all of my parents kids have to go to college no matter what (as in my mom forced me to apply to college and then sent me off like “I can’t help you pay for college btw good luck!”) so it was inevitable that I was going to go to an art school. which is fine because i've also always kind of wanted to go to a school, i was just stressed about not being able to afford it haha.

THEN there's what kind of art school you're going to. I'm at one of the most prestigious fine arts schools in the USA, because though I got admitted to others, I couldn't afford to go to others. the one I'm at offered the most money, because they could afford to. Idk what I'm gonna do with this degree but im in graphic design rn so I'll probably do something in that field. and it helps that the name of my school is renowned.

but if you, say, want to get into animation you're probably going to NEED to go to an art school. even if you cant get into an animation school specifically, any art school at all is better than none when it comes to animation (I think, idk for sure i'm not interested in animation as a job. my friend is tho so maybe I'll ask him)

now, HOW is art school? WELL. I've heard this isn't uncommon, but the first year was literally actual torture. it was really really bad. it made me more suicidal than I'd been since I was 12 and it ALSO made me start cutting for the first time ever. but I survived it, and the second year was way better! (if still stressful) the first year is for where they try to kill you, and the second year is where they go "haha just kidding ok lets get into what you want to know" at least that's how it is at where I am.

DESPITE the pain, and despite how even now I'm anxious about going back, I don't regret it at all. I really like my classmates and I love my professors. I love a lot of the work I've done and the skills I've learned. I liked living on campus and being so close to all that Art Stuff, even if i was too tired all the time to ever go out to any of the events.

plus on a more personal level, anywhere is better than living with my parents. so even if it was hellish the first year, i'm at least happy that i got things done and i wasn't wasting away at home with my mom.

hope that answers all your questions :)

#nnstuff #ask #art college

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prismaticpichu · 1 year

Note

Dunno if you do requests, but I am in eternal pain rn with this neck cramp i have had for hours, and I could really use something to cheer me up, anything really thankyou :))))

Omg I’m so sorry to hear that!! Neck cramps are the worst man. Our necks aren’t meant to be so stiff! I hope you feel better soon! ❤️ And absolutely! I’m happy to answer any asks and fulfill any requests!! (So long as they’re sfw.) Let’s see what I got *ferrets under bed*

Ooh! I’ve had this snippet sitting in my files for a while. I basically flipped on a random word generator as a writing exercise, and the word I got was "journal." Sooo this came to be in the finite time I had during my lunch break! No real start or end, just a puzzle piece in between.

The next page, the last one, was titled Seph.

I really lucked out. Not the kind of luck where it doesn't rain when it said it would, or when you go and win a poker game. Or maybe it's not luck and just how things turned out. It doesn't matter much, anyways. Meeting him was one of the best things to ever happen to me. After everything with Modeoheim, after Angeal died... I didn't know what to do. I had no one to turn to. There were the guys, sure, and Aerith did everything in her power to help... but none of them could really understand. Seph did, though. He knew Angeal just as well as I did. He cared with all his heart.

The thing was I was super bitter at the time... I kinda hated Seph's guts to be frank. I'm sure he hated mine too. One night though, I was all alone in my place... and Seph came to visit, just to drop off some papers (the guy is never not working, I'm serious). Anyway, he saw me with this photo of Angeal... saw me crying too. I didn't really want him there--but at the same time I couldn't find the strength to tell him to leave. I think he knew that I needed him though, because then, Seph pulled me into a hug and didn't let me go until I fell asleep. It's a little embarrassing thinking back on it, to be frank... Anyway. after that, well, I couldn't be mad anymore. I understood. Seph sent me on those missions... but he didn't mean it. He was hurting inside. He didn't wanna hurt his friends, no more than I did. And I also learned a whole lot more about him after.

Seph is kind, and funny, and the most loyal guy you'll ever get to meet. He doesn't smile much, but when he does, even though his mouth's always closed, it's one of the best things there is. I once thought he was spoiled, but I couldn't be more far from wrong; Seph doesn't flaunt anything he has. He doesn't even want most of the things, or the fame, or all that fancy attention. He seems to appreciate the small, tiny things in life, so I'll always make sure he has them: snacks, plushes, a walk... a friend. I'll always make sure he has a buddy. That's my goal--no, a promise--and I won't let anything break it

I don't know what I'd ever do without him. I'd prolly never be able to be Me--not really, not after everything. Seph let's me be Me. I ... love him so much.

"Seph?"

Zack walked into the room, blinking toward his friend. "Whatcha looking at?"

Sephiroth didn't say a word; he just set the diary back in its place and turned around, floating to where Zack was standing. And then he pulled him into a tight, loving embrace, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and back, Zack's face pillowed against his coat.

"Oh," Zack sounded like he was laughing, "hi, bud."

Sephiroth only squeezed him tighter, his soul melted to dough. “I love you, too."

#asks #fangirl #zack fair #sephiroth #the zack and sephiroth safe haven #weenie hut jrs #floofy #ffvii #crisis core #I hope you have an amazing day and feel better soon!!#y’know that Norway once knighted a penguin

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bonesandthebees · 1 year

Note

I am fighting my bias to go straight for the Wilbur-Phil conversation so hard right now. Anyway, remember a while back, and I have no idea how long, I made the comparison for Wilbur without Niki vs. Wilbur without Tommy. Well, I did not think I would get the see both of them, yet here we are.

I think I said something along the lines of, without Niki, Wilbur is only functioning at half capacity because everything takes extra energy without his support system. Meanwhile, without Tommy, Wilbur isn’t really functioning at all. Tommy is his sense of purpose in life. His entire life has been based around him. It’s his lighthouse, his guiding light. But now he is underwater and he can’t see the light anymore and he is so so lost.

It feels like he is dying. He feels like he is dying. Yet he’s still alive. It’s harder to breathe, but he’s not drowning. There’s a going hole in his chest and he’s bleeding out but he’s not dead. Also, can I just say that the transition from the metaphor and Wilbur walking around like a shell of himself to Techno was so damn cool? I loved that bit.

Anyway, as has been established, Tommy is Wilbur’s entire world and an entire life of brotherhood can’t just be erased. So, Wilbur still cares, he cares so damn much. So every chance he gets, he asks how Tommy is doing. He even eavesdrops on Ranboo and Aimesy to see what he can learn about Tommy. He made the conscious decision to leave the door open.

And he’s angry at Tommy, he’s so so mad, but he’s no longer in the heat of the moment. He’s no longer lashing out like a hurt/cornered animal, so he does not want to hurt his brother. Not even indirectly. And when he finds out that he is, even though none of it is whitin his control (well, most of it, he can’t exactly ask Phil to give him a different room, like he could, but he had no part in the decision to be in the personal wing so why would he get any choice in getting out?)

1/2

-🌲

OKAY SPRUCE you sent a lot of asks lol so I'm gonna slowly work through them over the next few days. but I'll start with a few rn! as always tysm i love seeing all your thoughts

yup :) without tommy, wilbur is completely lost for what to do. it's not just that he can't hold himself up, it's that he literally doesn't know how to function. if he's not there for tommy, what is he supposed to be doing? what's his goal? he doesn't have anything to guide him, so he's just lost under the waves swimming blindly

aaa thank you! I was proud of that transition bit I thought it was very fun to write

no matter how angry you are at your sibling you can't just cut yourself off from caring about them and thinking about them because of a single bad argument. wilbur is going to care about his brother no matter what. it's what he's done his entire life. he wants to know how tommy's doing, if he's okay, what's going on with him. he's furious with tommy still, but he doesn't want to hurt him anymore because he knows they've both been hurt. but he still doesn't feel bad enough to apologize. to try and make things right.

technically, wilbur could 100% ask to be moved out of the personal wing. there's no reason he can't. the only reason he didn't get a say was because he literally just passed out on the floor of phil's office and phil needed somewhere to put him while he slept. but he hasn't. the thought of asking to be moved hasn't even crossed his mind.

(newsflash: it's because wilbur wants to be there even if he doesn't realize it consciously)

#ask #spruce anon #the stars and their children

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idontlikeem · 1 year

Text

i got some shit i gotta get out of my head or i am quite literally going to lose my fucking mind. this is disjoined and written stream-of-conscious; this is not a writing exercise that i went back to make sound pretty.

tw for references to cancer, unhealthy relationships, alcoholism.

ooookay so. so! so.

i've made a few references to stuff like this in the past, but:

my mom is dying of cancer and likely only has a few months left

i am getting divorced, and the divorce happened in an abrupt, cruel, traumatic fashion

so, that's the groundwork i'm working with rn.

i've been with my soon-to-be ex-husband for ten years. that's a decade. we got together right after college and have been together ever since.

yes, that means i'm old. sorry not sorry.

i have not been single since my early twenties. i have not lived alone for more than a year, when i was 22.

i am scared. i am lonely. i am devastated that the man i loved, who i thought loved me too, decided to blow up my life in such an unbelievably cruel fashion.

because, of course, he knows my mom is dying. he knows how bad it's getting.

it's interesting what hindsight shows you. i thought he was supportive. i thought he was doing his best to be there for me, he was just maybe a little misguided but his intentions were good.

i thought the different issues we had were uncontrollable, things i'd have to learn to live with.

he has ADHD so of course he'd never be able to remember to do chores without me reminding him over and over, of course he'd never see something that needed cleaning on his own and just do it, of course he'd say inappropriate things to me in front of my friends and family that are embarrassing; i just need to get over it, who cares?

his parents were dysfunctional growing up so of course he'd always scream at me when he was upset, of course he'd lunge at me as if he were going to attack me if i 'made him too mad'; i need to stop acting like it's a big deal.

he knows he has a drinking problem but he's working on it, so of course i should never, ever nag him or ask him to stop drinking, of course i should accept that he's going to hide cans and bottles from me (or try), of course i should just get over it when he's shitfaced and absolutely ruins events because he refuses to stop, of course i shouldn't ever ever say anything to him about the times he put his hands on me with violent intent while drunk because of course he didn't mean it; if i did, it would make him feel bad. it's my fault he drinks too much, of course.

of course.

he wanted to make some major changes to our life, none of which i consented to or at any point indicated or hinted that i wanted. when i said i was not interested in them, i was told i wasn't being flexible, and shouldn't i want to move anyway? after all, your mom is dying, don't you want to live near her? don't you care about your own mother? i care about my family, after all—why don't you?

be flexible. learn to compromise.

i've thought a lot about the concept of 'compromise' recently, and how frequently i, to keep the peace, allowed it to mean 'you get what you want and i don't get what i want, not even a little'. i was married, after all, and this was my husband—i was working to save our marriage. or at least that's what i thought.

it didn't matter. because the instant i refused to wholly give into him on something, and instead enforced a true compromise, i was suddenly: the worst, most inflexible person to deal with. you should hear the things my family is saying about you. you're making this trip so much harder and so unpleasant for everyone else. this isn't all about you. why won't you just cancel your plans? you need to do what i want instead.

i've spent 60% of this year alone. there were always reasons for him to disappear, to go away, and then be gone for months at a time. they were good reasons, plausible ones, but they just kept coming.

i got covid and he wouldn't come back to take care of me. i'm not saying i need that; plenty of people live alone and have covid. but i was married. i had a husband. that's part of what spouses do, they take care of each other. at least, that's what i signed up for.

it's what my dad is doing.

my mom is so sick. i've never seen a person this sick. it's terrifying. she's going to be dead sooner than i had mentally prepared myself for, and i'm not ready. there's been a lot of denial in how i've been handling this—maybe not denial, maybe hope that something she'd try treatment-wise would work. none of them are working.

my dad is by her side. he's retiring early so he can spend his time with her. it doesn't matter and it's not good enough and it's not what they deserve, but he's there.

what if you had gotten sick, my mom asked me when i was home visiting a few weeks ago, what if that breast biopsy you got done two years ago had come back positive for cancer? i've cried myself to sleep thinking about how that man would never take care of you, how it would be all about him. it's made me sick to think of how horrible he's been to you.

she's right. he wouldn't have been there for me, at least not how i needed. it would have been what he decided i needed, because of course how could anything he thinks is correct be wrong?

he didn't want me to get a lawyer, for the divorce. he thought that if he told me i didn't need one, i wouldn't get one, and he'd be able to steamroll over me just like he's done for years now, and i'd just fold in on myself and meekly agree to what he wanted. i'd be the shell i'd let him make of me, the little personality-less doll he thought i should be, and when i wasn't, when i didn't, he didn't understand.

and now? he's angry.

he's demanding i accommodate requests that i have no legal obligation to accommodate. you need to make this work, he says, with the implied threat being if you don't i'm going to hold the money i owe you over your head. as if what he's asking for doesn't involve other people. no, it's all about him, the main character of life! all the rest of us exist for is to accommodate his whims and wishes, and if we don't, he is allowed, encouraged even, to be rude, to be cruel, to be demanding.

i'm not a person to him. i'm certainly not a person you respect and treat as a whole, real individual. i'm an obstacle, an inconvenience.

when i see messages from him now my heart rate shoots up and my breathing accelerates. i get shaky and dizzy and panicky. in a sick way, it mimics the start of a relationship, when a message from that new person you're so excited about makes you anxious in a good way, nervous with anticipation.

what a sick parody this is.

i'll always care deeply about you, he said, this was the hardest thing i've ever had to do.

he couldn't even do it to my face. he ran to hide with mommy and daddy.

all because i wouldn't uproot my life to move back to where his parents live, because he's bored of this city i've made my home in.

all because i had the gall to expect him to pull his weight in our shared home, financially and via tasks.

all because i wanted to keep progressing with my life—buy a home, carve out a space of our own.

all because...well, there are some things i won't say. but no, weirdly enough the daily misery of being made to feel like someone's maid isn't sexy for me.

relationships end all the time. people fall in love and fall apart. but this? trying to hurt someone? being cruel just because?

i'm so tired.

#this is all personal stuff and not at all related hockey #please do not feel obligated to click and read or interact at all #i just needed to type how i'm feeling about things somewhere because i cannot keep burdening my friends with this #so into an online void it goes where people can ignore it!!!!#is this what therapy is for—perhaps i should look into that lmfao #ahahahahaha life is SO SO FUN RN #tws for #cancer #alcohol #and #unhealthy relationships

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satoransky · 3 years

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#so this is uhm super random and personal and i'll probs delete it in the morning #if i even remember abt it which i probably won't #but uhm yeah i've been questioning my gender a lot the past few months and all i know is im not cis for sure but like #i genuinely just have no idea of what i am or what i want or what i have to do #or maybe i do and im trying to convince myself i dont bc im scared?#but either way #rn i feel like im not gonna truly be happy until i figure it out? no matter what i do?#like the best things could be happening to me and i'll think it doesn't matter bc i know that it'll pass and it wont bring me real happiness #like im going to the barça game tomorrow #and i'm going to the camp nou for the first time after a year and a half in the first game that'll allow fans again #and i'm like yeah that cool and im sure it'll be fun but imagine how fun your life would be and how happy you would be if you got to just +#+ be yourself?#like all these moments are just like painkillers which numb the pain for a few hours and then the pain will be back #and i know that when it happens and when im there i will be happy. every time i step into that stupid stadium are some of the happiest #moments of my lifes and it always feels like being home #so its stupid to even question it??? but also i have this same feeling for everything in my life?#like yeah i have to find a job and then i'll be happy or yeah i need to do this and then i'll be happy #but now i know i probably won't until i figure that out #none of this makes absolutely any sense BUT #anyways JSNDDJSJ i guess i needed to get it out otherwise it'd be eating me all night long #pls ignore this #idek what i said at the beginning and im not sure i want to know ajsndhdd #delete later

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rayofsunas · 3 years

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s/o is half-human, half-cat.

A/n: back to requests for a bit and as of rn requests are closed! they'll be open again when I finish all of them, I currently have 20 to do. ALSO, sorry for this being really late to the anon who requested this, I've been procrastinating + busy. I also hope you don't mind that I did Childe's s/o male and added Scaramouche and Xiao (Fem and Gn respectively). I added a bit of everything so everyone can hopefully read it/feel included (if this doesn't make sense cause I'm dumb, check the pairings lol). I've never written anything like this so I'm so sorry if this makes zero sense ;-; anyways, have a great day everyone! <333

Summary: s/o is half-human, half-cat.

Parings: Childe/Male! Reader, Scaramouche/Fem! Reader, Xiao/Gn! Reader

Warnings: fluff, swearing, nsfw (18+, implied, mating/heat)

Word count: 1.1k

Childe

mannnn, Childe has never seen a boy as attractive as you

EARS, TAIL AND ALL

omg, Childe thinks you're the cutest

like your soft kitty ears are just so cute

and he loves to tease you so he's going to pinch and pull at them a lot

if you're frustrating him and he isn't challenging you to fight (lmao he would) he's going to tug on your ears, because he knows it bothers you, especially if he's doing it roughly

your tail though is a different story

he's so fascinated with all of your cat-like features, but one thing he loves is your tail

it's not too fluffy, but it's fluffy enough that it's still adorable

you have a long tail too, and you wrap it around his

and like a male cat, you're going to mark EVERYTHING

you're still human, yes, but you still have cat-like features and habits

so sometimes, he finds that you'll come up to him and mark him

male cats pee to mark their territory, but you don't do that since you are still human (that's gross ngl), you'll just constantly rub against him, especially up near his neck

your scent is much stronger than a female cats, so it's much more pungent

and guess what? Childe doesn't mind it, he likes the smell. plus, it keeps other hybrids away (not that there's a lot, but you know)

he would mark you too, in his own way

he's not half cat, so he doesn't really leave a scent on you unless it's some type of fragrance he uses

all in all though,

and he has a lot of questions for you too, like how did this happen? are/were your parent's cats too?

tbh, you're going to get a lot of stares, lets be real

and people think you're a freak but he's always there to keep you safe if needed

"Leave my boyfriend alone, asshole, unless you'll face my wrath!" says it teasingly and it comes off sweetly innocent, his usual teasing tone, but he means it deep down

Scaramouche

he thinks you're very weird at first, like wth

why do you have cat ears and is that a tail at your rear end he sees?!?!

he's never seen a girl like you EVER and he's seen so many strange, questionable things

he's never met Diona before, so he just thinks you're odd, but hybrids like yourself these days are more common than he thinks

he also doesn't understand how this was even possible?!?!

like how tf does one even become half-cat, half-human?

nonetheless, he still finds you attractive, like wOw you're hot af

you're still a cat tho, so like I said before you have cat-like traits and such

for example marking your territory and mating

you like to mark him (he says he doesn't like it, but he's a fucking liar and we know this)

when you mark your territory, you lick his face/neck and he genuinely hates this ngl

it's the one thing he can't stand

even during intimate moments

he's like "don't lick me you brat."

but it's only natural, you need to do it

when it comes to mating that's an entirely different story

you're still human, so if you were to fall pregnant, you wouldn't carry a huge litter of kittens like if you were reproducing with a male cat hybrid

so, you would probably only have one baby at a time (the most being two; twins) but the second one is unlikely

you kind of miss the whole multiple children and big litter thing :(

Scaramouche's glad though, because he doesn't like children one bit

he's glad and doesn't hide it, big-mouthed bitch-

also, you go into heat during random seasons which kinda SUCKS for him

like, you wanna pounce him a lot when that happens whew chill

his favorite feature of yours is your ears, never admits it, he's a secret lover but he knows that you like them scratched

If you leave me alone while I do my work, I'll consider scratching your ears, hmm? How does that sound?

you're pestering him, he'll use the "I'll scratch/won't scratch your ears" card, and you will act accordingly

and you know what?

you're his weirdo, but if anyone else calls you that, he's taking it as an insult and disposing killing them immediately

no one gets to call you weird, except him

he's a bully but I love him

Xiao

pretty boy is confused on how you became to be a cat-human mix, but he doesn't mind as much as you'd think

if you're afraid he'd be indifferent towards you, trust me he's not

sure he thinks you're peculiar, but you're unique as well, more unique than any other human he's come across

and it doesn't change his love for you

plus, he thinks you're so cute :)

your ears are an added bonus that contributes to the cuteness

so fluffy, and soft and AAJDDBEHI

he blushes every time he lays his eyes on you, 'cause you're just that cute

he's going to refer to you as his "cute little neko" omg so cuteeee

he doesn't understand your biological nature, but he'll definitely try too

like if you mate, or are in heat, etc. he's trying his best to grasp those concepts

he's already touch starved so good luck (he's trying for the one-hundredth time!)

but if you explain everything to him, he'll get the idea(s) quickly

and he's not going to judge you at all. I feel like this goes against his characteristics because let's be real, he's a small judgy bb boy adepti and I feel like he already has assumptions about people/motives so yeah ANYWAYS

if you love your tail played with he'll often play with your tail lol, there's not much to say or deny about this

he will do it if asked, he'll do it without being asked, he just likes playing with your tail

he's not going to openly admit how cute he thinks you are or be so open about it that everyone knows how he feels about you, but you know and that's fine. that's all that matters to you

he will not tolerate people making fun of you, not at all

"what does their appearance have to do with you, small fry?"

like don't try to make fun of his s/o, he's not having none of it

he'll protect you to the ends of time ALWAYS

3.15.21, rayofsunas

#rayofsunas #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact scenarios #chiledearbol #childe x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #xiao #xiao x reader

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holocene-sims · 2 years

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i try not to post ever about my personal life on here because admittedly, i am a very private person but rn life is really looking up for me and i'm so grateful. i know it doesn't really matter but i just want to put my thoughts out somewhere bc idk, life gets better and i think that's important to acknowledge. and i think the changes in my life are in part due to the confidence i've gained being back on simblr for the last three months. something about being on here and in the community has inspired me.

i'll put it under the cut so not to clog your dashes sdhisfjkdsfkjds but my thoughts are there if you'd like to read my ramblings for a moment. standard tw for small mentions of depression here but nothing explicit

i feel like i've been fighting my whole life for good things to happen. i've suffered a lot and struggled with my mental health and i've never had many friends because i'm autistic and naturally shy and reclusive. even though i've always wanted to make a lot of friends, i never knew how

things got a lot worse the last two years since i've been in college. i worked up my confidence so much to put myself out there and be social and try things i was afraid of. but i got ruthlessly bullied for the first time in a long time, manipulated by people who exploited my trust in them, and it all sucked. i was SO close to quitting school and giving up on having a nice life for good. i figured i'd be alone forever and sad forever. but i came back this semester anyway because i'm stubborn and simblr kinda gave me some confidence back to spite the world and be me no matter what. suddenly things have been falling into place. idk how or why but they have

i randomly complimented a guy's slipknot shirt on the first day of class. a week later, he asked me to get coffee, and ever since then, we've been super close friends. we just hit it off. we were hanging out last night. last week, a girl in one of my classes said that i seemed cool and she wanted to hang out sometime. today, a girl in my astronomy lab group who i've been pretty friendly with caught me leaving class and wanted to hang out, so we went around town going in random stores and having a blast. none of these people will ever understand what they have done for me just by being my friend but it means everything to me

i think for the first time in my entire life, it feels like i actually matter and i actually feel like a real person with a real life. i don't feel like an alien who shouldn't be here and doesn't fit in. i turned 21 last month and had the best birthday party ever with my best friend from back home. i used to never be able to imagine myself being 21. and now there are other people who like me and genuinely want to be my friend. i'm studying something i'm really passionate about and i'm excited for my studies. i got over my fear of standing out; i've been dressing the way i want and i got my septum pierced two weeks and just that has absolutely made me feel 10000x better about myself. so things are good. they are. they really are.

#i know i am not the only person struggling and i hope if anyone else is that you truly believe me when i say it gets better #i have spent 21 years thinking my life would never get better and it was all over for me and that i had no reason to be here #life gets better #i swear it does #i am a huge cynic and hater of empty platitudes #if i didn't believe life gets better i would never say that #i truly believe life gets better #maybe not tomorrow or the next day but it WILL get better and there ARE people around who love you #hell i love you even i don't know you #solidarity with you all #holocene.txt

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