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onlymingyus · 2 months

Text

Guilty

pairing; kwon soonyoung x f reader / lee jihoon x f reader

genre; smut (minors dni), angst, toxic, fluff

summary; you and soonyoung learn that the storm can only be weathered for so long before you need a lift raft to hold on to. but what happens when neither of you reach for each other in that storm?

warnings; cheating, toxic relationship dynamics, car accident, injuries, hospital, arguing, eating/drinking, pet names, crying (from pleasure and sadness), unprotected sex, oral (m & f receiving/giving), fingering, marking/biting, impact, dom!jihoon, dirty talk, less than ideal sexual experiences, i mean...there is just a lot -- i probably missed something.

w/c; 23.6k

a/n; thank you so so much to my @onlyhuis for proofreading and being my rock while i wrote this bitch. this one was out of my comfort zone but i really wanted to try to dive into angst and something a bit more toxic with my plot. i hope you enjoy it.

before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here

3 missed calls from Soonyoung❣️

Rubbing the sleep out of your eyes, you sigh at the notification on your lock screen, thinking about the number of times you had tried to call him the day before only to get his voicemail. You think about the number of text messages that you have sent as you unlock your screen, looking at the four messages waiting for you.

When Soonyoung told you about his job opportunity, you were excited for him. Dancing was his life and his biggest passion, with teaching coming in as a close second. The main drawback of the job offer was that he would be gone for a year and be in another country.

Promises had been made to one another in an attempt to make the distance easier. You both promised to visit when you could and to keep in touch every single day. Things were easier said than done, it would seem.

Soonyoung ❣️: I got in late.

Soonyoung ❣️: I know you are going to be mad at me.

Soonyoung ❣️: Call me when you wake up

Soonyoung ❣️: Love you

You sigh, laying your phone down next to you after reading over the messages. Lately, they were all starting to look the same. There was always a “I got in late” message waiting for you and a “call me when you wake up" message waiting for you after a day of trying to keep in touch on your part. You knew he was working hard, but so were you.

Sliding out of bed, your phone in tow, you leave it on the counter as you turn on the shower, letting the bathroom fill up with steam. It wasn’t like Soonyoung would know the exact moment you woke up anyway. He barely remembered the local time anymore, much less your schedule. He had made you wait. Now he could wait.

Soonyoung knew he should be asleep. He had to wake up early to get to the studio but he was staring at his phone and hoping you would call him. He had checked the time back home at least five times and it was a Tuesday, which meant you had to get ready for work soon.

Sighing loudly, Soonyoung scrolls back through the text messages that he had missed from you throughout the day. He hadn’t meant to ignore you; he never did. Time wasn’t his greatest ally lately and long days had turned into even longer nights.

Y/N 😘: Hope you are having a good day babe

Y/N 😘: Missing you

Y/N 😘: Hope class has gone well. You are amazing ❣️

Y/N 😘: I’m going to bed

Y/N 😘: Hope I get to talk to you tomorrow. I love you

Kicking his legs out from under the covers, Soonyoung knocks his head back against the headboard. He groans under his breath as he gives in to his impatience, pressing down on your name and placing the phone up to his ear to listen to it ring. One ring, two rings, a third, and then your sweet voice tells him that you can’t come to the phone. Were you ignoring him?

The sound of your ringtone makes you furrow your brows, your eyes closed, as water runs down your face towards your lips. You were almost done with your shower but you were almost certain you weren’t hearing things, especially when your phone rings for a second time. Wiping the water from your face, you rush to get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around you, just as the second call from Soonyoung goes unanswered.

He had begun to turn over, a scowl on his face, when his phone lit up with a picture of your face. Staring at his phone for a few seconds, Soonyoung presses his tongue against his cheek before finally answering.

“Hello?”

You could hear the disappointment in Soonyoung’s voice and for a split second, you felt a pang of guilt. You forget about the number of calls that went unanswered the day before as you lean against the counter with a frown on your face.

“Hey, sorry, I was in the shower.”

Shrugging, Soonyoung also seems to forget how bad he felt about missing your calls and not responding to your text until late. Instead, he just thinks about himself and what he is feeling at the moment: frustration.

“Yeah, well, I asked for you to call me when you woke up, but I guess you didn’t check your phone.”

Looking down as water drips onto the tile, you feel Soonyoung’s words eat at your heart until you remember waking up and seeing your own messages from the day before. You remember listening to his voicemail time and time again, as you hoped he would pick up the phone even for a moment to say something to you.

“I did check it.”

Furrowing his brows, Soonyoung is taken aback by your sudden shift in attitude towards him. He had expected an apology and maybe your sweet, comforting voice to lull him to sleep but clearly that wasn’t happening.

“Oh? So you chose to ignore my messages and calls?”

“Like you chose to ignore mine, Soonyoung? Seriously…”

Your voice trails off as tears begin to well up in your eyes. There had been too many days recently that had started much like this one. You wanted to talk to your boyfriend and tell him how much you missed him, how much you loved him, and how proud of him you were that he was living his dream, but instead the two of you ended up in an argument.

Swallowing hard, Soonyoung closes his eyes as he sits up in his bed, running his fingers through his hair and listening to the sounds of your breath through the phone. He could tell you were crying. He had heard it enough times over the phone at this point to know exactly what it sounded like.

Now he was remembering seeing his phone light up throughout the day and checking it to see another missed call or text message from you. He remembered promising himself to call you back on the next break, only to get into a conversation with someone and lose track of time.

Shaking his head, Soonyoung hears a soft sob over the phone as he looks out of his window at the dark skyline of the city, knowing the sun was still rising where you were. He would give anything to be there with you now, to be able to hold you and to make this better but instead he was on the other side of the world and it felt like he might as well be on another planet.

“I’m sorry, baby. I–look, I don’t know what is wrong with me. It was a long day and when you didn’t answer my brain, just–” Shaking his head, Soonyoung stops to take a breath, deciding to stop giving you excuses. “I’m so fucking sorry. I love you so much.”

This was the part when you would normally fold and tell him how much you loved him and forgive him. You always forgave Soonyoung because he was working so hard and you knew it was important but you were starting to feel like you were less important. Wiping your cheek with your free hand, you shake your head and bite at your bottom lip as Soonyoung whines your name when you don’t speak to him right away.

“I have to get ready for work. I love you too. I hope you get some sleep.”

Closing his eyes, Soonyoung lets out a breath, feeling his heart sink at your words. You hadn’t accepted his apology and you hadn’t wanted to hear his excuses. You just wanted off the phone, and at this point, he couldn’t blame you.

“I–yeah, sure. Have a good day, babe.”

The sound of the call ending before you even say goodbye is what stuns Soonyoung the most. Dropping the phone into his lap, he stares at it for a moment, your picture looking at him from his lockscreen before the display goes dark.

Jihoon: Pizza?

You hadn’t been home long when the sound of a text message drew your attention to your phone. In truth, you had been avoiding your phone for most of the afternoon, knowing that Soonyoung was awake and at work. He had already been trying to make up for the day before by overcompensating and there was only so much that you could handle.

Seeing the text message from his best friend, however, was a welcomed change. You knew there was a reason behind it. When you hadn’t answered him, Soonyoung had probably called Jihoon and begged him to check in on you, like he had started to do more often, but you didn’t mind it.

Y/N: Only if you bring ice cream too.

Jihoon smirks a bit to himself after seeing your response. He knew you would agree to dinner and he had a good idea that you’d want ice cream after the conversation he had had with Soonyoung about an hour prior. He knew that you two had gotten into an argument. That had started to become a routine and now this was becoming his; dinner and a dessert for you.

You had always gotten along with your boyfriend’s best friend but since Soonyoung had taken the job and been gone for so long, Jihoon had become a rock in your life. You had become increasingly grateful to him, even if it was Soonyoung’s idea that he kept showing up with food and to be a shoulder to cry on.

Offering you a half smile, Jihoon lifts the bag with the ice cream with one hand as he holds the pizza box with the other when you open the door. Your smile causes him to take a breath and for his smile to become a full one when you take the bag from him, ushering him inside.

While Jihoon was happy to do this for you and Soonyoung, there was a part of him that found this more difficult every time. He was starting to love seeing that look on your face when you saw him—the way he could make your face light back up.

“Come in. Sorry…the place is a wreck and I already changed into my pajamas. I literally can’t find a fuck to give today.”

Moving into your place with you, Jihoon’s eyes move over your back and down your legs, just under your shorts, before he pulls them away out of respect with a sharp breath. Shaking his head, he looks around with a shrug before setting down the pizza on the coffee table as you move into the kitchen to put the ice cream in the freezer.

“Your place looks lived in, Y/N, and you look fine. Making me wish I was in my pajamas, or that I looked half as good in mine.”

Closing the door to your freezer, you pause at Jihoon’s compliment, feeling your cheeks starting to heat up. You didn’t mind it—the feeling of someone telling you that you looked good. It had been so long since Soonyoung had been home that you forgot what it was like to have someone compliment you like that, even if it was something so innocent.

Jihoon curses himself under his breath, sitting down on your couch, at his forwardness. He never wanted to really cross a line. He knew who you were and he knew who he was; just lately, it was getting harder to really remember it.

“Thanks, Jihoon, I’m sure you look very cute in your pajamas. Ya know, for the record.”

You smile at Jihoon and he has to look down at his hands as he chuckles, trying to play off your words as if they don’t have any effect on him. He knew you weren’t actually flirting with him; that was a ridiculous passing thought in his mind, but god, sometimes he wished you weren’t Soonyoung’s. The moment the thought even comes to him, Jihoon clenches his fists and then stretches out his fingers to distract himself from it.

“Mm, how was your day?” Swallowing hard, Jihoon glances up at you as he opens the top of the pizza box, gesturing towards it as you move around to sit next to him, closer than you had on other nights. “Eat. Don't let it get cold.”

Taking a slice of the pizza, you pout at it before taking a small bite, letting the warmth of food and good company wash over you. You had heard Jihoon’s question, but it was a loaded one. Sighing, you furrow your brows as Jihoon swallows his own bite of pizza, glancing over at you with a concerned look on his face.

“It was a bad one, Jihoon. I know that wasn’t really your question, but I’m not stupid. I know he called you and asked you to come over.”

You shake your head and put your pizza back into the box. Jihoon frowns and does the same, watching pensively as you wipe your fingers on the end of your nightshirt, unwilling to put effort into getting up to get a napkin.

“I–well yeah, he did, but I wanted to bring you some dinner. We could talk about it, you know if you want to.”

Jihoon watches as you furrow your brows and lean back on the couch, pulling your legs up under you. It hadn’t been his intention to upset you or bring up the argument; he had wanted to help distract you, but maybe you did need to get through this before you could move on with your night.

Glancing at your phone as it lights up again with another text message from Soonyoung, you shrug hearing Jihoon’s phone go off a moment later.

“It’s just really funny to me that he can ignore me all day and then act like I am supposed to be at his beck and call.” You swallow back your tears as you look down at your hands, pushing the ring on your index finger around so that the stone is facing your palm. “I love him, Jihoon, but right now I can’t stand him. I feel like I don’t know who he is anymore. I don’t know the person I talked to this morning.”

Jihoon fights the urge to look at his phone, feeling it go off again in his jacket pocket. Instead, he listens to you intently as he sees the tears rising in your eyes. His eyes fall to the ring on your finger and he remembers helping Soonyoung pick it out before he left for Tokyo and how he had suggested the cut of the stone.

Swallowing hard, Jihoon shifts on the couch to face you. He keeps his hands to himself, trying to be as respectful as possible, although all he wants to do is offer you more comfort when he sees the first tear trail down your cheek.

“Look, I could go the best friend route and give you the excuses but I’m not going to do it. I know he’s busy but I’m also not there.” Meeting your eyes, Jihoon tightens his hand on his knee, listening to you sniffle back your tears as he tilts his head. “I know he cares about you, he told me today. If I could make this better, Y/N, I would.”

Those weren’t the exact words that Jihoon had meant to use, but those were the words that had come out of his mouth. They weren’t a lie, because if there was a way that he could make it better for you, he would. If there was a way that Jihoon could make you happy, he would. Seeing you cry and upset was breaking his heart in ways that he couldn’t even explain or justify.

You can’t help but let out an unamused laugh under your breath at Jihoon's words. not for everything, because you knew he was trying to help, but you couldn't help but be cynical about the whole situation. Fingers wrapping around yours as tears drip from your cheeks is what breaks you and you finally meet Jihoon’s eyes once again.

“Nothing can make this better. I’m completely alone.”

Holding your hand tighter, Jihoon sighs, sliding even closer to you before lifting your hand to show yours in his as he shakes his head.

“You aren’t. I’m right here.”

Your eyes slowly move over his fingers, delicately holding yours, and more tears fall from your eyes as you try to work through how it makes you feel. It’s overwhelming to have someone right beside you, their skin against yours, their eyes on you. The feeling makes you want more and you feel selfish but it’s a moment of weakness.

Sliding on the couch, you move against Jihoon so that your cheek ends up against his chest. A surprised breath escapes from his lips before he finally moves to wrap his arms around you, holding you to him like you want him to. He can feel the tears starting to soak through his shirt but he can’t seem to find a reason to care as your fingers cling to his jacket and you sob quietly.

Jihoon had hugged you before, but this was more than a hug. This was almost intimate as the moments passed and you started to calm down, only to stay in his arms even as he shifted to lay down on the couch, letting you rest on top of him.

Lifting a shaky hand, Jihoon carefully ran it over your head, listening to you whine softly and he wondered if you had fallen asleep. He knew he had overstayed his welcome and he knew he should leave but that would mean he would have to tell you to move and that would mean he wouldn’t have you in his arms. He was selfish. What would Soonyoung do if he walked in the door right now?

Pushing the thought of his best friend from his mind, Jihoon closes his eyes when you shift against him and you mutter his name, wrapping your fingers around his shirt and holding him to you. Your lips smack cutely and a soft snore tells Jihoon that you have in fact fallen asleep. Any plan to wake you at that point leaves him with the sound of his name on your tired lips.

By the time you wake up Jihoon is gone and you have been placed in your bed. Furrowing your brows, you look around your dark room, confused, before glancing towards your nightstand to see where your phone is plugged up. He had done so much while you slept and not even woke you to say goodbye.

Picking up your phone, you wince at the brightness of the screen, only to frown at the number of missed calls and text messages from Soonyoung. You were starting to feel bad for ignoring him the entire day and it didn’t help that you were missing his voice. You start to click on his name to read over the messages when two from Jihoon make you pause and check them first.

Jihoon: I hope you don’t get upset that I put you in your bed. The couch is comfortable but your bed looked better

Jihoon: I’m sorry if I overstepped tonight. Just can’t let you cry like that

Furrowing your brows, you swallow hard, thinking back to how it felt to be held and how safe you felt— even for just a little while.

Y/N: You don’t have anything to apologize for. Thank you for dealing with my bullshit. Sleep well, Hoonie

You wait for a moment, hoping that Jihoon will write you back, but it was asking a lot for him to be awake at 1:26 am. Soonyoung, on the other hand, would be well into his work day. Scrolling over to the clock you have set for his timezone, you let out a slow exhale, reading 5:26 pm, before checking your messages from him.

Soonyoung ❣️: I love you so much

Soonyoung ❣️: Please don’t ignore me

Soonyoung ❣️: I’m going to work but I’ll keep my phone ringer on

Soonyoung ❣️: Could you please answer your phone

Soonyoung ❣️: Don’t you think this is a little childish?

Soonyoung ❣️: I’m sorry. Did Jihoon bring over some food?

Soonyoung ❣️: I’m assuming you fell asleep. Really fucking wish you would have talked to me today. Don’t really think I deserved the silent treatment. It hurts, Y/N…

His messages had ranged from hurt to angry and everything in between, and now you were feeling the same as tears gathered in your eyes once again. Two of his messages, in particular, sticking out and making your heart tighten to the point where your stomach felt queasy. ‘Don’t you think this is a little childish?’ and ‘It hurts, Y/N…’ He had no idea how much it hurt you.

Wiping your cheeks, you tap his name on your phone with more force than is necessary, putting it to your ear as you pull your knees towards your stomach. It only takes two rings before Soonyoung picks up, sounding out of breath.

“Hello?”

In truth, Soonyoung had started to give up hope that you were going to call him but he hadn’t lied when he told you that he kept his ringer on. Hearing it ring, he had immediately sent everyone on a five minute break and answered you, leaning over to rest his free hand on his thigh, trying to catch his breath.

“Hi.”

He had hoped for more than that but he’d take what he could get right now. Your voice brings a smile to his face as Soonyoung reaches for his water bottle, taking a sip. Sliding down the mirrored wall, he leans his head back against it and sighs into the phone, finally feeling a bit less stressed.

“I’m glad you called, babe. I can’t stay on the phone long, but I’d like to —”

“It’s whatever…”

Taking a deep breath at your interruption, Soonyoung closes his eyes because he can hear the tears in your voice.

“I mean, no, it’s not. If you’d let me finish? Fuck, Y/N… First, you ignored me all damn day and now I can’t —”

Biting his bottom lip, Soonyoung stops himself hearing you take a sharp breath. He had started to go off on you but he knew it was because he was wound up. Yes he was upset at you but now wasn’t the time to fight.

“Baby…I was going to say that even though I can’t talk long right now, I’d like to talk soon. I wanna really talk. Maybe we could facetime? I wanna see your pretty face.”

Soonyoung was giving you whiplash and it was almost too much to handle. You loved him so much but it was hard to go from one extreme to another with no way to touch him or to have his arms around you.

“I’m just really tired, Soonie. Can I just go to bed?”

You weren’t lying. You were exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. His words were like rocks being added to a growing pile in your arms, pushing you deeper and deeper into a pit that you weren’t sure how to climb out of.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Soonyoung knocks his head back against the mirror at your request while you also leave his question up in the air. He wasn’t sure how late it was for you but he had to assume it was late and he could hear the exhaustion and emotion in your voice.

“Yeah…course, babe. I love you.”

Looking out into your moonlit room, you find yourself staring at the picture of you and Soonyoung on your dresser with little to no emotion as you speak before hanging up your phone.

“Love you too, bye.”

Soonyoung had heard you say that you loved him hundreds, possibly thousands, of times over the span of your relationship and he had never heard it sound like that. He had never heard it said in such a way that it almost broke his heart. Letting out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, Soonyoung looks up when the pretty girl speaks to him again, a concerned look on her face.

“You ok, Soonyoung?”

Nodding, he puts on a smile and moves to his feet, causing her to take a step back to watch him as he puts his phone on silent.

“Course I am, Aimi. Once everyone is back, we can run it from the chorus again.”

Aimi grins at Soonyoung and his smile becomes genuine as he watches her take a step backwards on the wood floor.

“‘Kay…hey, you wanna get drinks later?”

When Soonyoung looks confused, Aimi laughs and lifts her hands, biting at her pretty lips that he can’t help but look at.

“With me and a few of the dance team, of course.”

Shrugging, Soonyoung glances down at his phone, tossing it up in the air and catching it before putting it on the table next to his water bottle. What could it hurt? Drinks with a few of his students, especially when the view would be nice for just a little while. Offering Aimi a grin, Sonyoung nods before leaning to pick up a towel and putting it around his neck as he watches him carefully, her eyes carefully moving over his exposed arms before moving back to his face.

“Sure, sounds like fun.”

“She just doesn’t answer my calls much anymore. I dunno what the fuck I’m supposed to do, man.”

Soonyoung sighs, using his shoulder to keep his phone against his ear as he pulls his jacket from the closet, causing the unused hangers to clang together. On the other side of the phone, Jihoon leans back in his chair, rocking his head side to side to move his blond bangs out of his eyes. He lets out a breath as he pushes his mouse across his computer screen and dragging levels up and down in the music editing program by eye and muscle memory.

“I don’t know. It’s not my place to —”

“Couldn’t you just... I dunno, talk to her? Get her to listen to reason? You are so good at that.”

Leaning his head back, Jihoon rolls his eyes as he pushes the mouse away from him out of annoyance. This wasn’t his job and he didn’t want to lie to you or tell you that it would all get better when clearly there was something going on that he couldn’t fix.

“I’m not a fucking relationship therapist, Soonyoung.”

Swallowing hard, Soonyoung stops just outside of his temporary apartment, hearing the anger in Jihoon’s voice. That hadn’t been the intention; he just wanted someone at bat for him, someone at home, to be in his corner for once.

“I’m sorry, man... I’m not saying that. You’ve been nothing but helpful. You know, taking Y/N meals and watching out for her... I really appreciate it.”

All of the things that Soonyoung was bringing up were things that Jihoon was happy to do for you. Maybe at first they were a little tedious but as time had gone by, days had turned to weeks, and weeks now to months—they were part of his life as much as you were.

“It’s fine. Uh… Look, okay? I’ll try to talk to Y/N and see if I can get her to give you a call when I take her something to eat tonight.”

The sounds of traffic make Soonyoung wonder if he had heard Jihoon wrong but he knew he hadn’t. Rubbing his lips together, Soonyoung nods as he furrows his brows, a bit of strain evident in his voice.

“You’re gonna take her something to eat again tonight? Is that like, a common thing now? I just—yeah, I dunno, I figured it was every once in a while.”

Shifting in his chair, Jihoon feels the apprehension in Soonyoung’s words. He knew that he should feel bad for how often he was spending time at your place but after holding you as you cried yourself to sleep, Jihoon couldn’t.

“It’s pretty often. She’s lonely, Soonyoung. You are on the other side of the world. You’re the one who asked me to do it in the first place.”

Soonyoung could feel the way his stomach was twisting with jealousy and something else he couldn’t quite name. Jihoon wasn’t wrong; he had asked him to do it, but he didn’t think he would be spending so many evenings hanging out with his girlfriend. He also didn’t really need his best friend to remind him of the distance between him and his girlfriend. The distance was very apparent and it was eating him alive.

“Yeah, I know I did. I don’t need you to tell me how lonely she is. I’m fucking lonely too.” With his feet hitting the steps to the studio hard as he pouts into his words, “I wish I was at home. I wish I had never fuckin’ taken this job.”

Running his fingers over his hair, Jihoon can’t help the way Soonyoung’s words hit him and made him feel bad for a split second. He couldn’t really understand the pain that his friend was feeling but it was obvious that he was suffering. Being with you almost every day, Jihoon saw your pain but today was the first time he had really heard Soonyoung’s, and even so, it didn’t make up for your tears.

“Then maybe you should fucking tell her that.”

You were pouting into your pint of ice cream as Jihoon watched you, finishing the last of his pasta. He had already tried to give you the “but Soonyoung just wants to talk to you; maybe you should call him tonight” talk and now you were being quiet. It wasn’t like you hadn’t sent Soonyoung texts throughout the day; you just hadn’t answered his phone calls or made any special effort to call him like you normally would.

“The ice cream was meant to cheer you up.”

Lifting your eyes to Jihoon, you stab your spoon into your softening ice cream, making him wince at the sudden action. Clearly, you were upset at him, though he wasn’t sure that was entirely fair. He had just done what Soonyoung had asked of him and now it was biting him in the ass.

Sighing, Jihoon puts his plate down on the coffee table before leaning forward to lift his hands as if to say he is surrendering. This wasn’t how he wanted to spend the evening with you. He enjoyed the evenings when the two of you would sit close on the couch. You’d turn on one of your silly trash reality shows and he’d let you try to explain who was fucking who and who was cheating on who. In reality, he was just enjoying your company—more than he should.

“I’m sorry. I promised Soonyoung that I would try to put in a good word for him, but I can’t stand the idea that you might spoon me to death like your ice cream.”

You wanted to stay mad at Jihoon, but he made it difficult. You had started to trust him not to just take Soonyoung’s side because he was asked to but clearly everyone had their limit. It was already asking a lot of Jihoon to keep you company like he was, so adding ‘taking your side in the arguments’ was asking maybe too much.

“I don’t wanna talk to him right now, Jihoon. He has said something to me that I never thought—” Shaking your head, you pull your spoon free from your ice cream with a bit of a sad laugh. “It doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault. You’ve kept me sane.”

Your words go right to Jihoon’s heart, causing him to have to look away in fear of how he might react. That was a big role to take in your life and he knew that when it came to you, he was taking it seriously. Jihoon knew he should feel bad for how he started to feel about you but as long as he kept those feelings to himself, they wouldn’t matter.

“Uh—well I… You shouldn’t have to go through all this shit alone. I got tired of seeing you so lonely.”

Furrowing your brows, you watch Jihoon speak and how he looks down at his hands. You had known him for a long time, but over the past few months, you had gotten to know him almost as well as you knew Soonyoung. There were tells in his mannerisms and it was almost like playing poker with him. You could tell when he wasn’t telling you everything.

“I am lonely, Hoonie. You have helped me through a lot.” Sighing, you lean towards the coffee table to put your ice cream down before looking back over to Jihoon to meet his cautious eyes. “The food is nice but just having you here has been the best. Like last night, I really needed that.”

You watch as Jihoon lifts his hand to run his fingers over his hair with a long sigh. Something was on his mind but he just wasn’t saying it. Tilting your head, you scoot closer to him and Jihoon laughs under his breath before you hear what sounds like a curse. Did he not want you to be close to him anymore?

“I–I’m happy to help, Y/N. Last night, you said I didn’t overstep, but — fuck…”

Meeting your eyes, Jihoon’s words die on his tongue. He knows he can’t disappoint you. Not when you look so sad and vulnerable. Not when you are so fucking pretty and looking at him like he is a buoy in the middle of a vast ocean. You let out a soft whine and Jihoon’s eyes fell to your lips just once before he winced and leaned forward to brush his against yours, not wanting you to feel so alone.

At first, you freeze when you feel Jihoon’s lips against yours. Your brain misfires because you know it’s not Soonyoung and you know that you should push Jihoon away but then you relax. You sigh into the kiss and return it, letting Jihoon’s tongue slide along your bottom lip.

You arch against his body when you feel Jihoon’s hand grasp your waist as you lean your head into his hand as he cups your cheek with his other hand. Your tongue glides along his and you moan softly into his mouth before finally Jihoon pulls away with one last peck on your lips.

With his eyes closed tightly, Jihoon rests his forehead against yours, cursing himself silently. If he had thought he had overstepped the night before, now he had looked at the line and flipped it off. His hand trembles against your side and Jihoon sits back, looking up at the ceiling as you look at him coming out of your haze.

“Jihoon…I—”

“It was me. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

Jihoon starts to pull away from you and you feel your stomach twist in panic so quickly that you grab his shirt to stop him. When your eyes meet, Jihoon looks at you confusedly, but you just shake your head and bite at your lips, trying to think quickly.

“But I…I liked it.”

2:30 am

Jihoon groaned, looking at his lock screen again, before putting his phone face down on his bed. He had been staring at his ceiling for hours at this point, thoughts racing through his mind. All he could see was you looking at him with that sweet look on your face as he kissed you again.

“Fuck!”

There was so much that was fucked up about the situation. He had gone over to your house to talk you into calling Soonyoung. Instead, he had ended up making out with you on your couch before kissing you goodnight at your front door.

Now he was the one avoiding Soonyoung’s text messages. He didn’t know what he was going to say to him. 'Hey, yeah, talked to her. Kissed her and then kissed her again. You’re cool with that, right?’ He was sure that would go over well.

Closing his eyes, Jihoon runs his hand over his face before resting it on his bare chest as he tries to calm himself down but once again his thoughts land on you. He thinks about your fingers clinging to his shirt and how you sounded moaning into his mouth. He thinks about how sweet you would sound if he were between your—

Arching his hips off the bed, Jihoon groans at his own thoughts, trying to stop them but the damage is done. He had willed himself not to get hard while he was at your place but now he could feel his cock stiffening against his thigh under his shorts. This was pathetic; he was pathetic. All it took was thinking about how you’d sound if he were between your legs and he was hard and starting to leak.

Jihoon knew he could ignore his problem and eventually it would go away but it would take a while and he was already struggling to go to sleep. Smacking his hand against the bed, Jihoon lifts his hips, pushing his shorts down, before kicking them off under the sheet, letting his now throbbing cock rest back towards his abdomen.

Sighing in annoyance, he rubs his palm in a circle over his head to collect some of his pre-cum causing himself to hiss and buck his hips. Jihoon hated that his first thought as he wrapped his hand around his shaft, stroking himself from base to tip, was your hand in place of his. It was so fucking wrong of him to think about you like this while he was doing this, but it was doing the trick.

Muttering your name under his breath into a groan, Jihoon picks up speed with his hand as he lifts his hips towards his fist, fucking into it with even strokes. It felt good but it was nothing compared to what he imagined your pussy must feel like.

Soonyoung wasn’t a shy person. He was a jealous person, but that only made him brag more and that meant that he would overshare. Jihoon was thinking about that now as he squeezed his cock under his head, remembering how Soonyoung told him that your pussy was the tightest he had ever had and how you got so wet that he had to lay down towels and use his tongue to clean you up.

Warm, sticky cum hits Jihoon’s stomach and runs down his fingers as he groans out your name one more time before pushing his head back against his pillow. He was out of breath, his heart racing, and you were still running laps in his head as he thought about you licking him clean.

With one last stroke and whimpering groan, Jihoon knows he has nothing else to give. Fingers unwrap from his softening cock as he takes steady breaths, feeling sleep trying to take over him, for him to now fight it, knowing he has to get cleaned up.

He hated himself for what he had just done, but god if it didn’t feel worth it for how hard that he had cum and how well he would sleep.

“Of course I would be excited to see you, Soonyoung…”

You sigh into your words as you lean your head against your driver’s side window. You had a headache; it had been a long day at work and all you wanted to do was get out of traffic and get home. You didn’t really want to be on the phone with Soonyoung as he made empty promises but that is where you found yourself; listening to empty promises and stuck in a traffic jam.

“I think I can make it happen in a couple weeks, maybe three.”

The ever changing Soonyoung timeline. Shaking your head, you hold your phone with one hand and the steering wheel with the other as traffic starts to move in front of you.

“Sure…”

“I’m serious, Y/N! Why don’t you ever believe me? I feel like I’m the only one trying to make this work anymore.”

Frowning, you start to speak, feeling emotion rising in your chest, when suddenly you are launched forward and pain spreads through your chest. Soonyoung waits to hear you speak but instead he hears the sound of your surprised yelp and then the sound of car horns.

“Baby?” When you don’t answer him at first, Soonyoung paces in front of the mirrored wall, running his fingers through his hair. “Y/N? Talk to me, baby!”

Muffled voices and a ringing in your ears are all you can hear as you try to shake your head to push away the foggy feeling. Someone takes your arm as you try to move and you hear a man tell you that you shouldn’t move until someone makes sure you are okay first.

“What happened?”

You can hear yourself better than you can hear the man, until finally your ears seem to pop just as your vision starts to clear and you see your airbag against your chest.

“Car came up too fast behind you and knocked the hell out of you. I was in front of you.”

Leaning up to try to see the man’s vehicle in front of you, the man ushers you back down and shakes his head.

“Just a little damage. I’m not worried about it all that much. Your car is fucked and so is his.”

Wincing as you lean your head back, you can feel the burn from where your airbag and the seatbelt protected you from much worse. You try to turn your head to look for the other driver, hearing sirens, but instead just look for the man you had been talking to.

“Is he okay?”

Sighing, the man nods, giving you an annoyed look.

“Probably the drunk ones always get hurt less, they say.”

Holding his free hand over his ear, Soonyoung struggles to make out as much of your conversation with the unknown man as he can but the moment he realizes you have been in a car accident, he’s panicking. Swallowing hard, Soonyoung clenches his chest as he ends the call with you and grits his teeth, making the decision to call the only other person he knew could be there for you when he couldn’t.

“Yeah?”

Jihoon was almost nervous to pick up the phone after seeing Soonyoung’s name but he did it anyway. He had been avoiding his best friend most of the day except for the stray text here or there but this was the first phone call he had actually accepted.

“Jihoon!”

The panic in Soonyoung’s voice made Jihoon sit up straight, his heart rate speeding up, because his first thought was that something was wrong and it could only be you.

“Ji...I–fuck! I was on the phone with Y/N and I don’t know where she is.”

He could hear Soonyoung struggling with his words as he paced, unsure what to do. Jihoon’s first thought was, Fuck, I couldn’t imagine how hard this would be for him if something happened to you but then he could imagine it. He needed to know what was wrong and where you were.

“Slow down and tell me what the fuck is going on.”

Nodding, Soonyoung runs his hand over his mouth and takes a breath, trying to start over slower and calmer.

“We were talking on the phone and she dropped it, I think. I heard something loud and then some dude was talking to her. He said something about an accident. I think she was in a wreck.”

Looking at his watch, Jihoon stands up from his chair, grabbing his keys and jacket, keeping his phone to his ear as he pushes his studio door open. He knew he should probably tell the others where he was going but, fuck it, they could figure it out.

“It’s 5:30; she was probably going home. Maybe she got stuck on the highway. I’ll find her and call you back.”

Jihoon groans at the woman sitting at the front desk of the emergency room as she stares up at him like he has three heads.

“Like I told you, if you aren’t a relative or a loved one, you can’t go back to see Miss Y/L/N. You can wait in the waiting area.”

His hair was starting to come loose from his bun with the number of times he had shaken his head. Jihoon was getting more annoyed by the minute. Gritting his teeth, he puts his palms flat on the desk and gives the woman a strained smile before tilting his head.

“I am a loved one. Y/N is my girlfriend. I’d really like to see her now.”

After a few more minutes of narrowing eyes at one another, Jihoon found himself being led back to your triage room, where you were sitting on a bed in a hospital gown with a frown. You were honestly so cute that he couldn’t help but pull the smallest of smiles from his lips. However, seeing the cut on your lip and eyebrow and the bruise that was already spreading along your neck, the smile quickly faded.

Nodding to the nurse, Jihoon moves towards your bed as the woman pulls the door shut, giving you and him more privacy. The moment your eyes meet, the tears fall over the rims of your eyes and Jihoon’s heart breaks.

“Hey…What’s that about? Did they say you have to stay overnight or something?”

Shaking your head, you reach out to take Jihoon’s wrist in yours, pulling him closer so that he will sit next to you on your bed. You find yourself just wanting to be close to him.

“No. I can go home as soon as the doctor makes sure I didn’t break anything and gets me a script for some pain meds.”

Furrowing his brows, Jihoon turns his hand over, letting you rest yours in his as he looks over your face even closer now. He could see where the bruises would be and where the hospital had cleaned up your cuts but there was still some dried blood. His stomach was in knots because it never should have happened.

“So why are you crying? Talk to me…”

“My car is fucked for one and I—” Your voice falls over into a small sob, causing Jihoon to lift his hand, his thumb gently caressing your cheek to push the tears away. “I’m scared and I don’t wanna be alone now. Soonyoung is—”

You don’t finish the sentence but Jihoon knows how it finishes. Soonyoung is so far away. He had heard you say it many times but this time it went right to his gut. He almost hated Soonyoung for leaving you alone and letting something like this happen to you, even though it wasn’t his fault and he had no way of preventing it whether he was here or not.

“One thing at a time, Y/N. Come here…”

Shifting on your hospital bed, Jihoon sits beside you, letting you curl against his chest so you can rest against him. He can feel your tears soaking through his shirt but he doesn’t mind it. The only thing he cares about is who is in his arms and whether you are safe.

“Let’s go through things one at a time. Your car. I know you have insurance. We will call tomorrow and make sure it’s being taken care of. I can get you to and from work.”

You start to complain but Jihoon just holds you tighter, making you sob softly against him before you nod.

“And being alone...”

You hear him let out a breath as he thinks of what to say so you do it first as you run your fingers along his chest around a button.

“Could you stay with me for a few days?”

Closing his eyes, Jihoon swallows hard as he leans his head back against the wall. He knew he should say no and that you should ask one of your girlfriends but he hates the idea of disappointing you.

“Yeah…I can do that, honey.”

“She’s banged up but she’s gonna be alright. They got her some pain meds and she’s out of work the rest of the week to rest.”

Soonyoung furrowed his brows to Jihoon’s words. He could tell the man was whispering but he didn’t really know why… Was he still with you? Looking down at his phone, he tried to do the math in his head but it didn’t make sense. If it was 5:30 pm for him, that would mean it was at least after midnight for you, if not later.

“Thanks for letting me know. Wish I was there… hate the idea of her being alone right now.”

Sighing, Jihoon looks at you in your bed as he leans back in the armchair before shaking his head at Soonyoung’s words. He wasn’t sure how to work around what the man had just said to him. He wasn’t an idiot but he didn’t want to cause a fight.

"Yeah, I don’t like it either but what is anyone going to do about it, Soonyoung? I told her that until her car is out of the shop, I’ll take her to and from work. That’s one less thing for her to worry about right now.”

Maybe he was letting his imagination get the best of him. That was it. He had always been a jealous man when it came to you and there was no reason for him to be worried when it came to you and Jihoon. Nodding along with his best friend’s words, Soonyoung offers a smile to Aimi as she gestures for him to hurry up as she and a few of the other students wait by the door of the studio.

“Thank you for doing that, Ji. I’ll try to call her later, after she’s got some rest. I owe you big time.”

That was an understatement, is all Jihoon could think as he heard the sounds of a girl giggling just as Soonyoung hung up the phone call. Of course, it could be nothing but there was no way to know.

Moving his eyes back over to you as your hands rested under your cheek, Jihoon tilted his head and started to stand up, intent on going to the couch, when you whispered his name. At first, he thinks you are just dreaming but then you sit up and look at him, making him stop in the doorway.

“Hey, you okay? You need something to drink? More pain meds?”

Shaking your head, you reach out your hand towards him and Jihoon’s heart beats hard in his chest at the implications of what you were asking of him.

“Stay? Don’t wanna be alone.”

Your voice is so tired and small. Jihoon closes his eyes for a brief moment before nodding and moving towards the bed to crawl in behind you, laying a good distance away. He thinks you’ll be satisfied to have him just anywhere close to you but then you turn over and lay your head on his chest, wrapping your arm over him so that you can pull your body in close to his.

“This okay, Hoonie?”

Running his free hand through his now loose, long blond hair, Jihoon wants to tell you no and that you need to lay away from him but everything about that is a lie. There was nothing more that he wanted. He hears you sigh happily when his hand under you shifts to run his fingers along your back, allowing you to curl even tighter against him, your leg pulling to rest against his thigh.

“Yeah, it’s okay, honey.”

You smile at the pet name. It wasn’t something that Jihoon had called you much about or ever before, but you were enjoying it. It made your stomach feel warm and your heart feel fluttery. Nuzzling your cheek against his chest, you spread your fingers out along his abs and close them to scratch at his skin through his thin shirt with a sigh.

“I like that…that name.”

If anything, Jihoon knew he was crossing a line with it, but fuck, look at where he was and look at where you were. The line was 300 miles back and he was waving at it in the distance at this point.

“I like it too. I like it too much.”

Shaking your head, you glance up at Jihoon with a pout on your lips as he meets your eyes in the dim, moonlit room. You could see the apprehension on his face and you knew why it was there but as much as you knew you should feel guilty, he was the one here and he was the one taking care of you.

Reaching up with your hand, you hold his chin in place so you can lean up to press your lips against his, granting you a soft groan from his. Jihoon’s brows furrow, and his fingers scratch lightly against your lower back right over your ass before he gasps for a breath, pulling away from you.

“Y/N…”

“I want you, Jihoon.”

Jihoon had felt bad about not giving in to you after you had confessed that you wanted him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you. God, if anything, he wanted you too much and that was what was killing him. You had pouted for a few minutes but then accepted his excuse that it was too fast and too soon after your accident before you fell asleep in his arms.

The sun was starting to rise and he knew he would have to leave you, at least for a few hours today. He would need to go into the recording studio and at least explain his sudden disappearance and work for a couple hours, but god, did you make it hard to leave you.

Running his fingers over your cheek as you nuzzle against his chest, Jihoon can’t help but smile as you smack your lips in your sleep. You are so cute that it is almost physically painful for him to look at you and not act on the whims that he feels. He wants to kiss you, put your back against the bed and show you how he would spoil you in bed. Instead, Jihoon just watches you sleep for a few minutes longer before he tries to slide his arm from under your body, only to feel your fingers tighten in the front of his t-shirt holding him to you.

“Hoonie…don’t leave.”

Your voice almost breaks his heart because he didn’t want to leave you but he had to. Sighing, Jihoon brushes your hair back, leaning to press his lips against yours, feeling you smile against his. With that, he’s able to maneuver his arm out, only for you to whimper against his lips and tug him back against you.

“Honey…I have to go take a shower and get to work. I won’t be gone all day, I promise.”

Looking down at you, Jihoon frowns at the darkening spot near your eye and lip. His eyes move down to where your tank top does nothing to hide your largest bruise on your shoulder and collarbone from where your seatbelt had been sitting.

“I’m gonna miss you. Can’t you just stay?”

Shaking his head, Jihoon leans to kiss your eyebrow lightly, then your split lip, before leaning to kiss your neck and collarbone, making you moan. It wasn’t his intention to turn you on; instead, he was just trying to kiss your wounds better but you couldn’t help but lace your fingers through his long hair, holding him to you.

Groaning as he feels your heel run along his thigh, Jihoon takes a breath against your neck, trying to keep his head. It had been a long time since he had been with anyone and he never thought the next person would be his best friend’s girl, but here you were with your hands in his hair and your body pressed against his.

“Jihoon…”

His name on your lips is like a siren’s call and Jihoon’s resolve breaks. Meeting your eyes, his lips press against yours hard, only for you to whimper at the slight pain of your split lip. He pulls back, realizing that his kiss is gentle and tender as his tongue dances with yours. You feel his hand slide from your waist to your hip so that his fingers can press into the top of your shorts, making you arch off the bed, wanting him to take them off.

“I can’t give you everything right now. I really do have to go in for a while today, but I’ll give you something, okay, honey?”

Nodding, you whine out his name as Jihoon pulls back from you. His eyes move over your face and down your body as his fingers press into the top of your shorts, pulling them down your legs with trembling hands. The line was thousands of miles behind him now; he couldn’t even see it. All he could see was you. All Jihoon could hear was his name on your lips as he dropped your shorts on the bed next to him and you spread your legs for him.

Jihoon lets out a shaky breath and it dawns on him that there is no one else who matters who isn’t in this room. It’s just you and him. His eyes move from your face, down your body, and finally between your legs, where his mouth starts to water at the sight of you. Your perfect folds are spread to reveal just how wet your pussy has gotten for him. Not for Soonyoung, but for him.

“Fuck…gonna eat you out, is that okay?”

It had been so long since you had been touched, so having someone look at you the way Jihoon did was almost overwhelming. You felt like you could cum untouched by just the feeling of his eyes but then his question and what he wanted to do to you had you clenching around nothing. Whining, you nod, scooting your hips further down in the bed as Jihoon moves between your legs, leaning to press kisses to your soft thighs, waiting for your verbal answer.

“Yeah, please? God, please, Hoonie?”

It wouldn’t take much convincing for Jihoon to give you what you wanted. With one hand wrapped around your hip, he uses his other to part your folds so he can see all of you. Letting out a groan to the sight, Jihoon glanced up the length of your body before shaking his head and spitting on to your clit before latching on to it with his mouth.

Soonyoung was great at everything in bed but this was different. You hadn’t been with too many people before you met Soonyoung and up until this moment, you had been faithful to him, but there was something about Lee Jihoon between your legs that had tears already streaming down your face. The groans and grunts let out against your pussy were almost animalistic as he ground his face against you, fucking you with his tongue.

Your fingers grip Jihoon’s hair, tugging at the long locks holding him closer between your legs as you feel the pressure building in your lower abdomen. It’s only when you are unable to hold it back anymore that you cry out his name and roll your hips hard against his face, cumming onto his tongue and chin.

Jihoon groans quietly against your warm, wet folds as he laps at your cum, enjoying every last drop. His fingers lazily massage your folds, causing your thighs to jerk and for him to smile against your pussy until you whine his name as if asking for mercy.

Licking his lips clean of you, Jihoon moves up between your legs to rest over you, kissing you gently and letting you taste yourself on his tongue. He basks in the sounds of your moans as your fingers grip and almost tear at his shirt, wanting more but he had already told you he couldn’t give you everything just yet. Nudging his nose against yours, Jihoon smiles against your lips before pulling away as you almost sob his name but he knows this time it’s just a ploy to keep him in your bed.

“I told you, honey, I gotta shower and get to work. I’ll pick up food tonight and we can cuddle when I get back.”

Turning on your side, you take a deep breath, feeling exhausted as you watch Jihoon walk towards your en suite, his fingers running through his long blonde hair. You knew you should feel guilty and maybe you did deep down but you had needs and right now, as your thighs ached from your legs being spread apart as he ate you out like his last meal, you couldn’t feel a single drop of guilt.

You wake up to the sound of your phone, causing your brows to furrow in annoyance. You had been sleeping so well but still, your fingers reach out for your phone, bringing it to your ear as you answer it with a sleepy voice.

“Hello? Jihoon?”

Furrowing his brows, Soonyoung tries not to take too much offense to how you answer the phone because he can tell you were asleep and he can tell you aren’t yourself. Jihoon had told him that you were on some pretty strong pain medications, so maybe that was clouding your judgment.

“No, baby, it’s me, Soonie.”

You smile softly, feeling a warmth rush over you upon hearing Soonyoung’s voice. There was a conflicting feeling underlying it but on the surface, you were happy to hear from him. You missed him despite everything and you loved him.

“Hi, Soonie.”

That was more like it, you seemed more like yourself. Maybe a bit of a drunk version of yourself but still, you seemed happy to hear from him and that Soonyoung could handle.

“Hey, baby. How are you feeling?”

Whining as you turn over on your back, you put your hand on your shoulder, feeling the stretch in your arm, making Soonyoung hear you in pain. He knew if he could be on a plane and back with you in that moment, he would be, but it was literally impossible.

“I’m fine. Just hurts a bit. I could probably go back to work earlier than the doctor said.”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung punches in the code to his building as he rests his phone on his shoulder, letting his foot catch the door so he can get his stuff inside.

“No, baby… listen to what the doctor said. If you need more time to heal and rest, take it.”

Pouting, you sit up in bed, looking around for Jihoon, remembering he had left for work long before. Nodding to Soonyoung’s words, you just sigh and give in to your current predicament.

“I guess so. Maybe they will have the car fixed before Monday. I hate the idea of Hoonie driving me around.”

Hoonie, it wasn’t like that was the first time he had heard you call his best friend that but for some reason this time it made his hair stand on end and his mouth go dry. Nodding, Soonyoung puts his groceries down hard on the counter, making you jump in your bed with a wince as you hear him sigh loudly.

“You okay, Soonyoung?”

Rolling his eyes, Soonyoung takes out one of his beers and pops it open, taking a sip as he leans against the counter, tilting his head as he looks at the label with narrowed eyes.

“Course I am, babe. Get some rest. I love you.”

Soonyoung doesn’t give you much time to respond before the sound of a phone call ending goes off in your ear and you are left with his picture staring back in your face. Furrowing your brows, you reach for your bottle of water that Jihoon had left and your bottle of pills, taking another one before settling back into your covers and trying to relax once again.

Looking at his phone, Soonyoung runs his thumb along his contacts before he lands on Aimi and puts it to his ear, a small smirk pulling at the corner of his lips when he hears her pick up.

“Hey, no, yeah... I’m fine. Just wanted to see if you wanted to come over and hang out.”

Jihoon tried to be quiet while moving through your front door, but smelling food cooking as soon as he walked in made him realize there was no point in trying. Following his nose, he smiled while watching you stand in front of the stove in fresh clothes, humming along to something playing on your phone. If you had heard him come in, you weren’t letting him in on it.

Sliding his hands around your waist, Jihoon laughs when you jump, dropping your spoon into your soup with a small splash of liquid that both of you are barely able to miss as it hits the floor. Jihoon whispers apologies against your ear before leaning to kiss your neck as you calm down and pout at him before he pulls away to get a paper towel to clean up.

“I didn’t mean to scare you. I thought you would have heard me come in.”

Shaking your head, you look down in your soup for the lost spoon before Jihoon moves back to your side, dipping his fingers in and pulling it out with a small hiss to the heat, letting you take it from him.

“I didn’t, but I’m glad you are home.”

Home. What a loaded word. This wasn’t his home but you made him wish it was. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded it wasn’t his home as Soonyoung smiled at him from the fridge and the walls, but he was getting pretty good at ignoring him.

Sliding his hand along your hip, Jihoon takes a deep breath of the steam coming off the soup, nodding appreciatively as you look up at his content. This was the happiest you had been all day since before he left you for work. It was the most coherent you had been as well. You barely remembered your phone call with Soonyoung and you hadn’t received any text messages from him so you knew he was asleep or something. It didn’t matter.

“Can you get down a couple bowls and we can eat on the couch? We have some trash TV to catch up on.”

This was the perfect way to spend an evening and how Jihoon wished he could spend every single evening. He didn’t need to worry about rushing off. His stomach was full of food that you had made for him and now you were lying in his arms as the TV played one of your silly shows that you cared too much about.

Fingers lightly strum over Jihoon’s chest as you smile, listening to his heartbeat more than you listen to the arguments or gossip on the show. You find yourself enjoying the feeling of Jihoon’s hand cupping your hip and his thumb resting under your shirt above your shorts more than you do anything else. You never want the night to end or maybe it is more than that, something deeper but it’s nothing that you can talk about out loud just yet.

When your eyes meet Jihoon's, he smiles at you and you feel like you are melting on the spot because it's been so long since someone has looked at you like that. Since someone has really looked at you, you feel like you could get lost in his eyes as his fingers lightly move across your cheek and down your jaw before he leans in to press his lips to yours, and you melt all over again. There’s something there that is unspoken and it will remain unspoken for the sake of everyone involved. You just kiss and give into it.

Jihoon groans when he finally moves you to your bed and has you sitting on his lap. He whines into your mouth, feeling the weight of you over his hard cock. He wants to tell you that maybe this is too much or too fast but what about if this is too much or too fast? What about this? Is it even right? He knows it and he knows what you do too, so instead he just gives into it.

Clothes find their way into the floor until your skin is naked against Jihoon and his fingers can finally move over your soft skin like he has always wanted to. He feels dirty and like this isn’t his—because it isn't—and yet something whispers in his ear that you are his. Right now, at this moment, you are his.

“Please?”

One word falls from your lips and Jihoon will give you the world; he will bring down the moon and the stars for you to make it better. Resting on your back, you cling to Jihoon, his hair falling from his bun as he looks down at you, his right hand sliding along your inner thigh, working its way towards your warm center. Two fingers slide between your wet folds and Jihoon’s lips fall open in the same way yours do as he works his fingers into your pussy, feeling your warm walls clench around them.

He remembers in that moment Soonyoung bragging to him about how tight and messy you are and he can’t help but smirk to himself that he is getting to know that firsthand. Groaning against his arm, Jihoon can barely move his fingers inside of you, searching for that one spot that will make you scream his name but when he finds it, you arch off the bed and Jihoon almost cums on the spot, untouched by the sight of you and the sounds that come out of your mouth.

Your velvet walls tremble around his fingers as he pumps them in and out of you at almost a brutal pace, trying to get you ready for his cock without even thinking about anything else. All Jihoon can think about is your wet slick seeping around his fingers and how it is running down his wrist with each deep thrust of his fingers. He is just thinking about how good it will feel on his cock and how sweet you will sound as he’s pushing you into the mattress that you share with Soonyoung.

Shaking his head to push Soonyoung out of it, Jihoon groans your name as your nails scratch his chest and along his neck, pulling him down to meet your lips when you cum. He groans loudly, feeling his fingers being sucked back into you with each wave of your orgasm, making it almost impossible for him to pull away from you until you finally relax and your thighs stop shaking.

Smiling, Jihoon presses kisses on your cheek and along your neck before looking up at you to meet your eyes as he slips his fingers from your dripping center. You watch as he brings them to his lips and sucks each one of them clean with a small groan, making you whine under him.

“Hoonie, please, I need you.”

“Yeah? I won’t make you wait, honey.”

Leaning over you, Jihoon opens the nightstand he knows to be Soonyoung and groans when he only finds an empty box of condoms before resting his head on his bicep.

“Baby, do you have condoms on your side?”

Swallowing hard, you shake your head already, knowing you don’t. Dread feels you knowing that if you don’t say something, he won’t fuck you like you want him to. Lifting your hand, you cling to Jihoon’s arm and whine as sweetly as you can, making him look down at you as you look up at him through lowered lashes.

“I don't, but I’m on birth control, Jihoon. That’s why we don’t have anything here. Just fuck me, please?”

Jihoon knew he should say no and wait until he could pick something up but that look in your eyes and the sweet tone of your voice were killing him. You hadn’t been with anyone else besides Soonyoung in years and he knew he hadn’t been with anyone in months, maybe closer to a year. Groaning, Jihoon rests his forehead against your shoulder before nodding, making you smile as you run your fingers through his hair.

Learning from you, Jihoon pushes down his boxers, kicking off the last remaining piece of clothing, keeping him separated from you as your eyes follow him. Swallowing hard, you watch as he strokes himself a few times before he meets your eyes as if looking for permission once again, only for you to nod and slide your leg up and off to the side, letting him move back between your thighs.

Running his thumb over your clit first, Jihoon watches how your body jerks, making him smirk before he follows that same action with the head of his cock. His brows furrowed as he made a pass with his tip between your folds to collect some of your arousal before finally meeting your eyes as he pushed into you for the first time, slow and steady.

You had been used to the feeling of Soonyoung stretching you out so the feeling of Jihoon was completely different. Soonyoung was longer, whereas Jihoon had girth and it was almost painful as he sank into you, making you see white for a moment. A moan gets caught in your throat when Jihoon bottoms out and he stays where he is, catching his breath as you clench around him, making it impossible for him to move at first.

“Oh…shit. Y/N, you gotta relax. Relax for me, honey.”

Nodding, you do your best to listen to Jihoon’s voice and let your body relax as his fingers stroke the side of your face into your hair. You smile at the feeling of his lips pressing against your throat, feeling his smile against your skin when you do as he asked you to.

“That’s it. Such a good girl. Can I move?”

Whining out a yes, you nod and scratch at Jihoon’s back as he starts to thrust slowly but deeply, making you cry once again. Tears of pleasure begin to stream down your face and over Jihoon’s thumb, causing him to look up in concern until he sees the blissed out look on your face.

Wiping the tears from your face, Jihoon groans your name, picking up his pace and listening to you cry out his name as you tighten around him once again. He didn’t need you to tell him that you were close. He could feel it as your orgasm started to rip through you. The way you got impossibly wetter and how you clamped down on him and held him inside of you like a vice.

Groaning your name, it soon turns into a hiss as he follows you over that edge in a panic, trying to pull out only to have you cling to him with tears in your eyes, begging him to stay. Nodding, Jihoon relaxes, and his cum fills you with each deep thrust, making you throw your head back with a moan of his name.

Collapsing on top of you, Jihoon struggles to catch his breath for a moment as sweat rolls along his neck and down his chest to your skin. Licking your lips, you run your fingers through his hair and over his back as you come down from your high, feeling like you have been to the moon and back.

“Fuck…”

A smile pulls at your lips as Jihoon curses against your neck. After a few moments, he rolls over to your side, pulling from you carefully, before resting his forearm over his eyes, still catching his breath as if he had just run a mile. Shaking your head, you can’t help but admire the man beside you in your bed under the moonlight, as if he is a piece of art, as with each of his breaths, his muscles expand and contract, showing off all his hard work spent in the gym.

“Thank you, Jihoon. I really needed that.”

Laughing, Jihoon just shakes his head, moving his arm to look at you before laughing again and pulling you into his arms to kiss you softly, making you smile.

“Why are you thanking me for fucking you?”

Shrugging you, run your finger nails along his abs, making him suck in on a breath as he leans his head back against the pillows.

“What else am I supposed to say?”

Shaking his head, Jihoon runs his fingers over your back and furrows his brows, realizing he isn’t even sure what the right answer to that question is. It isn’t that you love him or that he loves you, not even if it were true. So perhaps your response was appropriate for the time. Sighing, he looks up at the ceiling, staying quiet for a moment before lightly patting your back.

“I don’t know, but I do know we need a shower. We smell like sex.”

Laughing, you watch Jihoon slide out of your bed and around towards the ensuite, where the water for the shower starts to run.

“Such a romantic, Lee Jihoon.”

Grinning, Jihoon leans against the bathroom counter, looking at himself in the mirror as the room starts to fill with steam and he waits for you to join him.

“Yeah, I know I am, honey.”

Staring at your phone, you run your thumb over Soonyoung’s face as you think about what happened between you and Jihoon. The guilt had started to weigh heavily on you. That wasn’t who you were. You had always been faithful to Soonyoung because that’s the type of person he and you were.

Pressing your thumb down over his name, you put the phone to your ear and sigh. You knew it was pretty early in Tokyo. It was after 5 pm for you and Jihoon would be coming back home soon so that would mean Soonyoung was probably getting ready to leave for work. What you didn’t expect was someone else to pick up his phone.

“Hello?”

A sweet female’s voice greets your ear and you feel like the walls that have been stable around you are crashing down around you. You hear her say hello again before you shake some sense into yourself and look at your hands, finally able to speak.

“Uh hi… I was trying to reach Soonyoung.”

The girl smiles into her words before giggling as she looks around his apartment, listening to the shower turn off.

“Yeah, he’s here. He’s getting out of the showe—”

“Hello?”

Soonyoung had heard Aimi talking to someone and there were only a few people who would be calling him this early in the morning. Taking the phone out of her hand, he shoots her an annoyed look as he glances at your face on his screen before trying to get you to talk to him.

“Baby?”

Aimi pouts while watching Soonyoung hold his towel up around his waist as she sits back on his bed. Her eyes follow him as he moves into the bathroom, shutting the door where she can’t hear him anymore.

“Who was that, Soonyoung?”

Sighing as he leans against the counter, Soonyoung tries to think of his feet and the best thing he can think of is a half truth.

“A student. I–uh I gotta work on some stuff with her before class. She showed up too early. Sorry, she answered my phone, babe. Won’t happen again.”

Tears gather at the rims of your eyes as you just nod along with Soonyoung’s words. You knew deep down that there was nothing you should have over him after what had happened between you and Jihoon but it still hurt. You didn’t believe him because you knew what Soonyoung sounded like when he was lying.

“Baby? You–you heard me, right?”

Wiping at your cheeks, you just nod again before looking up at the entryway to your bedroom, where Jihoon is standing with a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah, I heard you. I gotta go, Soonyoung.”

Leaning his head down towards the sink, Soonyoung groans under his breath. He didn’t want to just let you get off the phone after something like this but he couldn’t force you to stay on the phone and listen to him come up with excuses.

‘Yeah…okay baby. I love you, so so much.”

Looking up at Jihoon, you wipe at your cheek once more, answering Soonyoung numbly while your words are left in the air, causing Jihoon’s heart to tighten.

“I love you.”

Hanging up your phone, you drop it onto the bed and close your eyes before you feel the mattress sink next to you and Jihoon’s arms wrap around you. He wasn’t sure what was happening but he knew you were in pain and if he could take it away, he would.

Closing his eyes, Jihoon rests his face against your hair and takes in a deep breath, letting it out as you let out a soft, sad sob that shatters his heart. He knew that you were talking to Soonyoung. He knew that ‘I love you’ hadn’t been meant for him but he wished it had been. In his mind, he would never leave you like this. He wouldn’t have you crying because of him day after day.

“Y/N…honey…do you wanna talk about it?”

Shaking your head, you start to tell him no before you lean back to meet his eyes and all of your resolve melts away. Jihoon can only coo at you in sympathy, bringing his thumbs up to push the tears from under your eyes as you try to explain about the girl picking up the phone.

“What do you want me to do, baby? I’ll call him and cuss his ass out. I’ll call her.”

The words were nice but deep down, even Jihoon knew what you and he were doing was no better. At the end of the day, you didn’t really know if Soonyoung was sleeping with this girl, but did it really matter?

Moving to lay against Jihoon, you shake your head hard and cling to Jihoon like a life raft to keep you from drowning. You know that you shouldn’t want him as much as you do but all you can think about in that moment is his lips on yours and how it would distract you from your heartbreak.

“No, no…just…”

This was becoming the routine for the two of you. Jihoon would go to work and come home before ending up on top of you, either in bed or on the couch, where the two of you would eventually end up naked.

Furrowing his brows, Jihoon groans as you lay back on your bed, pulling him with you. He knew what you wanted as your fingers pulled at his shirt and worked his hair loose from its bun. He didn’t want to tell you no, so he wouldn’t. Instead, Jihoon just meshes his lips with yours and kisses away your pain and tears. With each piece of clothing that he removes from you or himself, that’s just another layer of anxiety or stress that he is removing until finally his skin is met with yours.

“Hoonie…be rough with me?”

Closing his eyes, Jihoon bites down lightly against your neck, near where your bruise was starting to fade when you asked him that question. There had been times when he had wanted to let go with you and just have his way with you but he had been afraid to hurt you or scare you, but now you were asking.

“You sure, honey?”

Nodding, you scratch your nails along Jihoon’s back, knowing that you are leaving marks that will fade in a few minutes. You didn’t want to think anymore; you just wanted to feel. All you wanted in your brain was Jihoon, Jihoon, Jihoon.

Hissing at the feeling of your nails on his skin, Jihoon pulls back to look down at you with fire in his eyes. He would give you what you wanted. Licking his lips, Jihoon stares at you for a moment, only to then capture your lips with his in a breathtaking kiss. You whine into his mouth as Jihoon’s teeth nip at your lips before he pulls away completely, kneeling on the bed in front of you.

“Come here; let me use that mouth.”

Turning over, you blink up at Jihoon, only for him to pull you to where he wants you with one hand as he holds his cock in his other. Sucking on his bottom lip, Jihoon tilts his head, watching your eyes fall to what’s in front of you before you open your mouth and he taps his head on your tongue a couple times before sliding into your warm, wet mouth with a groan.

“Fuck…just like that. Hands on my thighs, baby. If it’s too much, tap a few times, and I’ll stop.”

Lifting your eyes to Jihoon, you moan around his cock and he almost loses it right then and there. He could feel your nails digging into his thighs as he buried his cock into your mouth, his tip almost reaching the back of your throat. The sound of your moans mixed with gagging caused Jihoon’s brain to misfire as he groaned your name.

Fingers hold your head close to his hips as Jihoon keeps you as close to him as possible until he hears you whine and he lets you go. Leaning your head back, you blink up through tears as Jihoon wipes his hand over his lips, watching his pre-cum and your saliva drips down your chin. The sight is something he knows he won’t forget for a long time.

“Good fucking girl, honey. Now turn your ass towards me. You want it rough, don’t you?”

Nodding, you can barely answer Jihoon as you weakly move into the position he wants you in. Hands slap at your thighs, causing them to sting, before the same hands come down on your ass, making you cry out in surprise. Leaning over your back, Jihoon smiles against your ear, listening to you calm down as he presses small kisses on your skin.

“You like that? When I spank you?”

“Yeah, I like it, Hoonie.”

Smirking, Jihoon pushes off the bed and slaps his hand down over your ass cheek one more time, listening to the sound of your moaning cry as he rubs his hand in a circle over the warm skin. With his free hand, he uses his thumb to spread your folds as he ruts his hips against you from behind, feeling your arousal drip onto his cock.

“Honey…You are soaked. Might make me think you like being treated like a slut.”

Whimpering in embarrassment, you bury your face against your arm. You listen to Jihoon laugh as his fingers dig into your hip. The fingers that once were running between your folds now help to press his cock against your leaking hole.

Gasping, you scratch at the bedding under you, feeling the way that Jihoon’s cock stretches you in this new position. When his cock is fully buried inside, only then are you able to fully catch your breath, only to have it taken when it gives you no mercy and starts to pound into you relentlessly.

You knew what you had asked for and Jihoon was delivering it. There were no coherent thoughts left in your mind. The only thing you could think about was him until the sound of his phone going off just as you were about to cum brought you back to reality.

Frowning, Jihoon glances towards the nightstand to see Soonyoung’s face lighting up on his phone. Leaning over your back, Jihoon groans your name, feeling you tighten around him, only for you to glance towards the phone. He can feel the exact moment when you fall under him and he knows the moment is lost.

“Stop…stop…please?”

Coming to a stop, Jihoon carefully pulls from you as you ask him to, his head turning away from the phone only for a moment before he curses under his breath and smacks it from the nightstand. Bringing the phone to his ear, still out of breath, he answers the call, anger evident in his tone.

“Yeah?”

Taken aback by the anger, Soonyoung furrows his brows and wipes his towel across his neck to clean off a new layer of sweat from practice. Maybe Jihoon had been at the gym and he was interrupting a set, but he had never gotten that sort of response or that level.

“Am I bothering you? Fuck, dude…”

Rolling his eyes, Jihoon sits on the side of your bed, feeling his head start to hurt as you turn away from him and pull your legs up towards your stomach. He knew you were feeling shame and guilt when you didn’t need to and it was Soonyoung’s fault, it was his fault. You weren’t at fault for this.

“Yeah, you are. What do you want?”

Scoffing, Soonyoung looks at himself in the mirror, clenching his fist and unclenching it before letting out a sigh.

“I was just waiting to check in. I wanted to see if you had talked to Y/N today. Something happened earlier and I am just…”

The laugh starts off unamused but ends up being a genuine laugh as Jihoon leans his head back, causing Soonyoung to be even more confused until Jihoon speaks.

“The chick picking up the phone? I know about it. Be smarter about your hook-ups if you are trying to keep them from your girl, Soonyoung.”

Now Soonyoung was seeing red. Jihoon might be his best friend but that didn’t give him the right to tell him how to live his life or how to handle his relationship with you. Especially when he was getting awfully cozy with you.

“Fuck you, man. You have no idea what I’m going through. Know what I think?”

Making a questioning sound, Jihoon lifts his brows, waiting for Soonyoung to continue but Soonyoung just scoffs, putting his fist against the mirror.

“I’m waiting to hear the great gospel, according to Kwon Soonyoung.”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung hangs up the call and turns to slide down the mirror to sit on the floor as Aimi frowns at him. Moving closer, she kneels in front of him, brushing her fingers over his cheek and he gives in, leaning into a friendly touch.

Three Weeks Later

You had just gotten your car back. You and Jihoon had started splitting time between who’s place you would stay at but today just happened to be one of the evenings when he was busy and you needed a little time to yourself.

Rubbing the back of your neck, you drop your keys into the bowl beside the door and sigh, not noticing the extra shoes beside the door. You don’t notice the suitcase next to the couch until the smell of Soonyoung’s cologne overwhelms you.

“Hey baby.”

Startled, you take a step back as Soonyoung smiles at you, his brows furrowing at your reaction to him. Maybe it hadn’t been the best idea to just show up but you had started ignoring his calls more and answering fewer texts and he was starting to worry about you. He was starting to worry about you and him.

“Oh, hey, sorry... didn’t mean to scare you, babe.”

Grinning, Soonyoung moves towards you, pulling you into his arms as you wrap your arms around his waist, feeling tears stinging your eyes. You feel overwhelmed and uncertain what to do or how to feel. He doesn’t seem real, even if he’s in your arms. The man that you have loved for so many years of your life now just feels like guilt in your hands.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?”

Nodding, you cling to Soonyoung, not wanting him to see any disappointment on your face. Because you aren’t really disappointed. You have missed him. No matter anything that had happened or would happen, this man was your friend and you always wanted him to be. He had started that way, as your best friend. He knew how to make you laugh better than anyone and you loved him for that.

“Of course I am, Soonie. When did you get here?”

Soonyoung smiles, burying his nose against your hair and taking in your scent as he closes his eyes. He tries to count the time in his head but the jet lag makes everything muddle together. Shaking his head, he just laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

“Couple of hours ago. Just enough time to throw some left over in the oven and a load of laundry in. All I wanna do now is lay down and cuddle with my girl. Can we do that?”

Your heart feels like glass as you listen to Soonyoung talk, because it sounds so simple. You want to tell him everything he wants to hear so you just do it. You nod and look up at him with a smile, letting him press a kiss to your lips that you meekly return, though your brain drifts to Jihoon.

“Yeah, of course. Let me... let me–uh change and we can lay on the couch.”

Whining, Soonyoung wraps his arms around you from behind, burying his face against your neck as you start to walk away from him. Your hand on your cellphone is in your jacket pocket as he pulls you back against him.

“Not the couch, kitten. I wanna lay on the bed. I’m tired… cuddle with me.”

You scoff into an unamused laugh before nodding and looking over your shoulder at Soonyoung, who smiles at you so sweetly that you can’t say no.

“Yeah, the bed. I’ll change and meet you there.”

Watching Soonyoung trudge off down the hall, you let out a breath, pulling out your cellphone to text Jihoon with shaking hands.

Y/N 💗: Soonyoung is home

The day had been long but the night was going to be longer. Jihoon hated album wrap ups but as a producer, sometimes he had to do grunt work up until the early hours of the morning. Hearing his phone go off was one thing that could make him smile until he read your text and his face fell.

Muttering fuck under his breath and drawing the attention of a friend in the studio with him, Jihoon apologizes, turning his chair away to answer you.

Hoonie 💗: For how long?

Y/N 💗: I have no idea

Rubbing his hand over his face, Jihoon puts his phone face down on his desk in front of him. It wasn’t your fault. In truth, Soonyoung had given you both a warning when he said two or three weeks, but he usually never kept those promises.

Looking at your phone as you move into your room, you glance at the bed to see Soonyoung lying where Jihoon usually would be now. A smile on the man’s face as he flips through channels on the TV, picking what he wants instead of what you like.

Eyes shift towards you as you move into the closet, closing it halfway and making Soonyoung’s brows furrow. You had never shied away from him before, but it had been several months since he had been home so maybe that was all this was. Shaking his head, he turned his attention back to the TV and leaned his head back against the pillows, enjoying the comforts of home.

Hanging up your jacket, you swallow hard, seeing no new texts from Jihoon. You couldn’t blame him. There wasn’t anything else to say. You could hear the TV and Soonyoung’s soft laughter, which made you wish that things were as easy as he was making them seem.

“Soonie…babe? How…uh, how long are you home?”

Pursing his lips, Soonyoung glances towards the closet again, seeing a peek of your skin as you change into your classic choice of pajamas, a tank top, and short shorts. In one way, your question was a simple and normal one, but in another way, it seemed suspicious. Soonyoung decided to keep it simple and think that you were just curious about his plans.

“Wish it was longer, but... I fly out tomorrow night.”

Staring at the clothes in front of you, a scoff falls from your lips. The first thought on your mind is “What was the fucking point?” but you don’t say it out loud. Instead, you just pick up your phone and text Jihoon as you shake your head.

Y/N 💗: He flies out tomorrow night.

You don’t expect a text back, so you just hold your phone to your waist until you move to the bed, smiling at Soonyoung. Laying your phone face down, you plug it in, leaving it silent, before slipping under the covers and letting your boyfriend pull you in close to him with a happy groan.

“You aren’t mad at me, are you? I tried to find a better time but it’s so fucking busy. They keep trying to keep me on full time.”

Furrowing your brows, you look up at Soonyoung to gauge his expression but it’s almost impossible to judge. You start to realize you aren’t sure you know this man anymore.

“And what do you want to do?”

Shrugging, Soonyoung stumbles over his words before just smiling at you and running his fingers along your jaw.

“Right now? I just wanna kiss my beautiful girlfriend. I’ve missed you so fucking much, baby.”

You knew he was deflecting but you also didn’t want to argue. You didn’t have the strength or the will to fight with the one person who you had simultaneously missed and hated over the past few months. So you give in, closing your eyes as Soonyoung’s lips brush over yours. You take a breath as his hand slides along your waist and he pulls you closer before laying you on your back so he can lay on top of you.

Nothing feels the way it should. At one point in your life, you loved Soonyoung with every fiber of your being. His touch was electric; his mouth was like fire on your skin, but now you feel dull as he groans your name, his thigh pressed between your legs. It isn’t that it doesn’t feel good or that you aren’t able to get off on it; it’s more to do with the fact that you are picturing someone else in your bed.

Keeping your eyes shut tightly, you whine when Soonyoung’s lips brush over your stomach as his fingers tug your shorts down so he can lay between your thighs. He gasps at the sight of your wet folds before pulling them apart with his thumbs so he can run his tongue from your entrance all the way to your clit, causing you to arch off the bed.

With a smirk, Soonyoung can’t help but let how you are reacting go to his head. All he can think about is how good he makes you feel and how you taste on his tongue. In his mind, this is the first time you have had someone's tongue on your pretty pussy in months and it’s his alone.

“Fuccckk….kitten. My sweet girl. So fucking messy. Getting juice all over my face. You should just come back to Tokyo with me.”

Shaking your head, you want him to stop talking so you push Soonyoung’s head back down between your legs so that his mouth is flush with your pussy. Two fingers work their way into your tight hole and Soonyoung groans around your clit, feeling how you clench down on them. He practically growls when your fingernails scratch at his scalp, feeling like you finally cum for him, though you made him work for it.

Coming up for air, Soonyoung chuckles, looking down at you as you hide your face. You look so cute and shy. You remind him of when the two of you first got together and how innocent you had been before he rammed his cock into you, much like he was going to do now.

Watching your mouth fall open in a moan, Soonyoung bites at his bottom lip as his hands hold to your hips as he thrusts into you hard and fast. He had missed you and honestly, there was no one else like you. Nothing could compare to how your pussy would clench down on his cock and hold him inside of you like you were trying to keep him forever. God, how he wanted you to keep him forever in that moment, even if his mind momentarily slipped to Aimi whining on his bed.

Shaking the thoughts from his mind, Soonyoung falls on top of you. His mouth finds your neck as he bites and sucks deep marks that he hopes will stay for at least long enough for you to remember where he was. His thrusts grow impatient and uneven until finally you hear his high pitched groan against your skin when Soonyoung cums inside of you.

Tears roll from your eyes and along your temples as your hand rests on your forehead, the other against his back, feeling him push his cum back inside of you. At one point in your life, you would have loved that feeling but you knew at that moment that you didn’t love him anymore or at least you didn’t love him as much as you once did. How were you supposed to tell the person who was the love of your life something like that?

You wake up alone the next morning, your eyes swollen from crying yourself silently to sleep the night before. Turning to look for Soonyoung, you find nothing but an empty bed and his jacket slung over the chair in the corner. Only the smell of food cooking in the kitchen lets you know that you aren’t truly alone.

Reaching for your phone, you sniff back fresh tears as you check for new messages, seeing a couple from Jihoon that actually work to calm you down.

Hoon 💗: Then I’ll come over once he’s gone

Hoon 💗: You still got me, honey

Smiling, you run your thumb over the screen and send back a simple heart emoji before turning in the direction of where Soonyoung’s phone dings. Glancing towards the door, you lean over the bed and pick up his phone, looking at the lock screen and seeing a few messages from Aimi.

Aimi: So bored without you

Aimi: OMG come back already…

Aimi: 🥺

You know that you should feel hurt or angry when you see the messages but instead you find yourself suddenly indifferent as you turn Soonyoung’s phone face down on his nightstand and slide out of bed. Slipping on your robe, you make your way out towards the kitchen, putting on a smile as he leans down to kiss the corner of your lips with a sigh.

“Good morning, gorgeous.”

Humming, you slide on to a bar stool and look at the food he has made, noting you would have to go grocery shopping once again. It was a nice gesture on his part but when you were practically living on your own most days, paying rent on your own while your boyfriend was off living his dreams, you couldn’t just buy anything and everything you wanted.

“What time is your flight?”

Wincing, Soonyoung turns to take the juice out of the fridge, glancing towards the microwave for the time being before tilting his head back and forth before looking at you for sympathy.

“I’ll have to leave here around 2ish if I wanna make it through security and all that international shit on time.”

Glancing at the clock, you lift your brows and sigh before leaning your chin on your arm as Soonyoung pours two cups of juice, watching you closely.

“You aren’t mad at me? I know it’s a short visit but I wanted to at least try. I’ve missed you so much, kitten.”

Shaking your head, you pick up a piece of bacon and chew on it with a sigh from your nose before meeting his eyes.

“You have to do what you have to do, Soonyoung.”

Your indifference causes Soonyoung’s brows to furrow and his stomach to twist with anxiety but he still tries to offer you a smile. Taking a sip of his juice, he pushes yours towards you before looking at the fridge and seeing a picture of you and Jihoon smiling, heads pushed together. It looks innocent enough but it still makes his heart hurt. Gesturing towards it, Soonyoung clears his throat and licks his lips of any remaining juice.

“You and Jihoon have gotten pretty close.”

Looking at the picture, you can’t help but smile, remembering the day Jihoon went with you to the farmer’s market and how he hadn’t complained a single time. Shrugging at Soonyoung’s words, you look down at the food in front of you, pushing around the eggs before sighing softly.

“He’s a good person. He’s good to me. Don’t you want someone to be good to me?”

Narrowing his eyes, Soonyoung bites at his bottom lip at the accusation that seems to be lingering right under your question but instead of giving into his anger, he just looks down at his own plate of food and lets out a long, drawn out breath.

“Course I do, babe. I love you more than anything.”

Rolling your eyes, you think back to the text messages from Aimi and mutter under your breath that you doubt that, making Soonyoung lean his head in towards you over the counter in confusion.

“What did you say, baby? I couldn’t hear you.”

“Nothing, just said... I love you too.”

You had watched Soonyoung repack his carry-on and grab a couple of things out of your shared closet before he kissed you goodbye with a concerned look on his face. You only offer him a half smile, leaning against the door frame, as he looks back, telling you he will let you know when he lands and how much he loves you.

“Mmkay, have a safe flight.”

Pausing, Soonyoung licks his lips, lifting his hand to block the sun as he looks at you, trying to remember what it felt like when you were head over heels for him. Something was different. He knew it and so did you but neither of you were willing to say it.

Nodding as his gaze drops to the ground, Soonyoung can only let out a half amused laugh, realizing you hadn’t told him that you loved him back. Maybe it had been a mistake or just because you seemed so tired, but looking up and meeting your eyes—seeing the tears even from halfway down the driveway—he knew it wasn’t.

“Okay, babe.”

If this had been the old you—the old Soonyoung—you would have walked to the end of the driveway with him. You would have begged him not to go back and told him how much you loved him—to the end of the earth and back. But that wasn’t who either of you were anymore, so instead, you watched from the door as the car drove down the road before turning back inside and closing the door.

Normally, you would have shed tears and found yourself curled up in bed with your cellphone clenched against your chest, waiting for him to message you about his flight but this time you knew it was different. You felt like you could breathe. There was a sense of pain mixed with your relief—such a strange feeling that you couldn’t name.

Jihoon had waited half an hour to come over after Soonyoung had left for his flight. He had sent his texts to his best friend, wishing him a safe flight and all the usual pleasantries but at the heart of it, he was waiting to get back to you. It had been too long since he had seen your face in person and no matter how selfish he was feeling, Jihoon couldn’t make himself feel guilty about it anymore. You were his.

Using the key you had made for him, Jihoon unlocked your door and dropped his things on the side table before meeting your eyes from the couch, feeling relief wash over him. You were like a breath of fresh air.

“Hey, honey…”

Only when Jihoon speaks will your tears finally fall. You close your eyes and bring your hands up to cover your face, not wanting him to see you upset but he is the one who has seen you that way the most lately. Arms wrap around you and Jihoon kisses the side of your head as he whispers, It’s okay, only to feel you shake in his embrace. He isn’t sure what you are upset about, but it doesn’t actually matter. All that matters is that he’s going to make it better.

“They offered me a full position at the studio.”

Soonyoung sighed into his words as he looked down at his hand as Aimi slid hers into his. He wasn’t sure if he loved her but she felt nice. At least sometimes she did. Other times, she felt like guilt and regret, but today she felt like a friend and a lover.

“Are you gonna take it?”

She could be hopeful. For Aimi, this was starting to turn into love. She loved how Soonyoung looked at her sometimes and how he would hold her after he would fuck her into his mattress. Other times, she was reminded that she wasn’t you. She had no disillusion with who she was and what she was doing, but clearly Soonyoung wasn’t happy and neither were you.

Shrugging, Soonyoung leans back against his headboard, letting Aimi rest against his chest, her head against his jaw as he traces her fingers like she used to do with you. He missed moments like this with you, but he didn’t know you anymore. The woman he had fallen in love with was a million miles away, not just in distance but in other ways.

“Maybe…I dunno. I gotta talk to Y/N.” Shifting uncomfortably when he says your name, Soonyoung takes a deep breath and tightens his fingers around Aimi’s. “I go back home in a month. That’s when this job officially ends.”

Frowning to herself, Aimi looks out at the city skyline and says a silent prayer to herself that maybe Soonyoung will change his mind and stay. Maybe you will tell him to stay, but she keeps it to herself and only nods before meeting his eyes.

“Okay, well, whatever you decide, you know where I am.”

Soonyoung can hear the innocence in the girl’s voice and it almost makes him want to laugh. Not at Aimi or at her innocence but more at how, even in the situation, she seems so perfect. Brushing his lips over hers, Soonyoung takes in a breath of her perfume while at the same time letting it wash over his senses and push you further from his mind. She was right; he knew where she was but what he didn’t know was where you were.

You moan Jihoon’s name, only for him to swallow it with his kiss as his hands slide over your hips. Jihoon was enjoying the feeling of you sitting on his cock but each time you clenched around him, he felt like he was going to explode.

“Fuck, Y/N…”

Rolling your hips down over Jihoon, you dig your nails into his shoulders as he rests his head back against the headboard with a long, deep groan. You loved riding Jihoon, especially when you were at his place. Here were no pictures of Soonyoung, nothing you could accidentally make eye contact with as you asked for Jihoon to make you forget.

Jihoon was so good at making you forget. He was even better at making you want something different. Something that you didn’t think you could ever have because you belonged to someone else. Someone else was in love with you and you had made a promise to wait for him.

“Baby, if you don’t slow down, I’m gonna cum first.”

Shaking your head at Jihoon’s words, you feel his fingers dig into your hips as you whine against his jaw, not wanting to stop. Gritting his teeth, Jihoon groans your name once again before he feels himself unable to hold back anymore. You rest your forehead against his as you watch Jihoon’s mouth drop open and feel the warmth of his cum start to spill into you.

Catching his breath, Jihoon shakes his head with a wince, feeling you rock your hips over his softening cock. He knew you had a hard day and he didn’t mind letting you get out your frustrations in any way you wanted to but he still liked to make you feel good.

Lifting his hands, Jihoon shifts you back from him and cups your cheek to make you look at him as he licks his lips. You feel your cheeks instantly start to burn at his attention and his intense gaze, his eyes studying you as his fingers brush sweat from your temple.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Leaning your head back from him, you shake your head no, making Jihoon let out a disapproving breath. He knew there was a lot on your mind but he could only make you say as much as you were willing to. Running his thumb along your jaw, Jihoon nods, glancing towards his nightstand to see where your phone is plugged in. The light draws his eye but more so Soonyoung’s face, letting you know he is calling you.

“Soonyoung’s calling…”

Jihoon watches your eyes move to your phone and the way your body stiffens against his. You could ignore it; you had before in other circumstances but he hadn’t called today and you felt like you were made of glass.

A few more seconds pass before you slide from Jihoon’s lap and sit on the side of the bed before answering your phone. You swallow hard into your words, feeling Jihoon’s hand resting against your hip like an anchor.

“Hello?”

Soonyoung leans against his balcony door, glancing towards his bed, where Aimi sighs in her sleep as you finally answer your phone. You didn’t sound overjoyed to hear from him, but that was his usual greeting—it still hurt.

“Hey, baby. I just…”

You listen as Soonyoung scoffs into a sad laugh as you furrow your brows, trying to figure out how you are supposed to feel or respond. Shaking your head, you start to speak when he continues.

“Just—uh, I wanted to check in. Didn’t talk to you much today or yesterday. I mean, fuck, let’s be honest, we haven’t talked much since I got back.”

He wasn’t wrong. You could count the number of phone calls on two hands over the span of the last month and the text messages were not much better. Most were either one of you saying you were thinking of the other or checking in, but every time it felt like keeping up appearances.

“I’m…I’m sorry. I can try to do better if you want. I’ve just been busy, Soonyoung.”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung bites at his lip when you try to apologize and come up with an excuse without actually giving any real excuse. He knew he wasn’t any better but once again, it still hurt.

“No, it’s fine. I get it. I’m busy, too. Always fucking busy, right? That’s us…”

Tears sting your eyes, making your vision blurry as you hear the hurt in Soonyoung’s voice. Closing your eyes, the tears fall over your cheeks, only for you to try to sniff them back as quietly as possible. Hearing your tears, Jihoon sits up, moving closer to you, trying to pull you back towards him, only for you to shake your head.

When Soonyoung hears you crying, his own tears finally fall. Nodding, he lifts his free hand to wipe at his cheek with a groan before sniffing back the tears and pushing off the wall.

“But I’ll be home in a month, right? So we can just see what happens. Right, Y/N?”

You can hear the hope in his voice layered with all that sorrow and it only serves to break your heart more as you shake your head and shrug. Licking the salty tears from your lips, you lift your arm to wipe away your own tears before making yourself calm down.

“Yeah, a month, Soonie.”

The name Soonie makes Soonyoung close his eyes and drop his head. It used to make him smile when you’d call him the cute name and tell him how much you loved him but now it feels like his heart is breaking.

“Okay…goodnight, baby.”

Leaning your head back, you take a breath, letting it out as you hear the finality in Soonyoung’s words. The tone of his voice makes you wonder how hard he will try to stay in touch before he shows up back at home.

“Night. I love—”

Hearing the phone disconnect before you finish your sentence tells you everything you need to know.

Jihoon couldn’t help but watch the days tick by. Never in his life could he remember a month going by as quickly as this one seemed to. He wanted to hold on to each and every minute he had left with this little life he had made up with you but every single day passing was a reminder that it was ending.

He wondered, selfishly, if he just told you how he felt if you’d tell Soonyoung what was happening and ask him not to come home. But then he’d be hit with guilt. That never stopped his feelings or the urge to tell you how much he cared about you.

Holding you in his arms, your arm draped over his stomach as you traced some design made up in your head on his forearm, Jihoon watched you under the moonlight. There was less than a week left before Soonyoung would be back, laying where he was now. The thought of it made his stomach twist and his heart feel like it was breaking.

“Y/N, honey…”

You smile softly at the pet name, your lips pulling up against Jihoon’s skin, before you glance up at him, seeing questions in his eyes. That look had been there for a while now but it was as if he were afraid to say anything, afraid you’d run away. Maybe now was the time, before there was no time left.

“What…well—what happens when Soonyoung gets home?”

Your smile fades at Jihoon’s question because that wasn’t what you thought he was going to ask. You weren’t sure what he was going to ask but you hadn’t expected it to be about Soonyoung. Swallowing hard, you lay your head back down and look out your window towards the sky as if some sort of answer lies in the stars but nothing helps.

“I–Jihoon…I don’t know. I guess things just…”

Lifting your hand from his arm, you gesture into the air, trying to express your words as Jihoon’s eyes follow them, but it only serves to confuse him and make his heart beat faster. Shaking his head, Jihoon shifts under you, making you sit up as he does. You tilt your head with a whine, feeling his hands on either side of your cheeks as his eyes search for yours.

“Guess things, what? Go back to how they were. Seriously, Y/N? Is that what you fucking want?”

Closing your eyes, you feel tears welling up in your eyes at the questions leaving Jihoon’s mouth. You knew what you wanted the answers to be but life wasn’t always that simple. Holding your face still but gently, Jihoon swallows back his emotion with a curse under his breath as he watches your tears stream down your cheeks.

“Baby...come on. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you still love him. I mean, fuck, look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me!”

Lifting your hands, you hold Jihoon’s wrists as you keep your eyes shut tightly to try to save yourself from hurting him or lying. When Jihoon whines your name, tears are evident in his voice. You just shake your head and finally meet his eyes.

“It’s not that simple, Jihoon! Fuck! I wish it was! I want it to be, but god, it’s just not!”

Dropping his hands into your lap, Jihoon blinks tears from his eyes as he nods, understanding what you are trying to say. You watch as he turns his head away from you and furrows his brows before taking his hands from you and sliding off the bed. Your heart tightens in your chest as you reach for his hand, only for Jihoon to move it from your reach.

“I’m gonna head home.”

You shake your head, moving to your knees on the bed, a whine of Jihoon’s name on your lips when he turns back towards you to take your face back in his hands. Leaning to rest his forehead against yours, Jihoon sniffs back his tears as you cling to his forearms and whisper that you don’t want him to go.

“I have to, honey. Things go back to how they were, right?”

Kissing you softly, Jihoon only lingers for a moment before he presses his lips to your forehead and leaves you watching him from your bed, tears streaming down your face. You listen to the sound of your front door opening and closing before emotion ripples through your body and you find you can’t hold yourself upright anymore.

There was heartache when it came to Soonyoung but this felt worse. Now the walls that had built up around you were shattering around you and there was no safety left from the storm. You knew you had created the storm—though you hadn’t created it alone—it was yours to name and it was yours to weather.

You had forgotten how little Soonyoung had taken with him to Tokyo when he had left a year ago. You listened to the sound of water running as Soonyoung took his shower just down the hall from where you stood, unpacking his suitcase, bit by bit.

There are so many memories attached to items and then there are so many new things that you don’t recognize at all. For the few hours that Soonyoung had been home, the conversation had been light. There had been discussion about what you had planned for dinner and how his flight had gone.

“Y/N…uh babe…”

Soonyoung’s voice pulls you back to the present as you glance over your shoulder to look at him, his towel around his waist, a look of confusion on his face as he moves further into the room. Swallowing hard, he laughs awkwardly before gesturing to his suitcase on the bed.

“I can do that. You don't... just leave my shit alone.”

Gently moving your hands from one of his shirts, Soonyoung pulls the suitcase closer to him. Taking a step back, you scoff at your boyfriend before shaking your head and running your hand over your hair. You could feel the tension thickening in the air even as you turned away, leaving him in the bedroom alone with his shit.

Soonyoung hadn’t meant to upset you, but he wasn’t used to you being in his space anymore. He was used to you going through his things anymore. Groaning under his breath as he listens to the sound of you opening and closing cabinets in the kitchen louder than necessary, Soonyoung works to get dressed before staring at his suitcases, trying to decide where to start.

The idea was simple, the task seemed impossible. Put the clothes away and live like he had never left. But that wasn’t going to be so easy in a place where he didn’t feel like he belonged anymore.

You weren’t looking for things to annoy you about Soonyoung; however, it seemed that everything did now that he was home. You were reminded that he frequently forgot to put down the toilet seat and that he didn’t always put the lid back on the toothpaste. So as you sat on the couch near him after a silent dinner, he could feel the chill in the air, making him finally pause the unwatched movie on the TV.

“I was watching that.”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung turns to look at you, reaching for your hand, only to feel you start to pull away. He had expected it, but it still hurt. He was inches from you and he still felt like he was a world away.

“You weren’t, Y/N. You have been pissed off at me since I got out of the shower.”

Shrugging, you let Soonyoung run his thumb along your palm as he tries to calm you down, but all you can think about is how much you miss Jihoon and how it’s been days since he’s answered your texts. You can just feel how much your heart is in your throat because you can’t have him where Soonyoung is right now.

“No…I–”

“Just stop! I–fuck, Y/N! I’m home and it’s the same. I could be across the world and we’d be doing the same shit. So, when do we just stop? I can’t do this anymore. You–dammit…”

You stop talking as Soonyoung yells at you, his hand dropping yours as he leans back to run his hand over his face. You watch as tears collect in his eyes, all the emotion that he has been holding back rushing to the surface as he thinks about what he is doing and what it is going to mean. Gesturing towards you, Soonyoung feels like panicking and taking back his words before he even says them, but he already knows it’s too late.

“I fucked up. I…I–I slept with someone else, Y/N and I—”

Shaking his head, Soonyoung watches as your brows furrow and the tears that had been collecting in your eyes fall down over your cheeks. Lowering his head, he reaches back out for your hand, taking it into his before meeting your eyes and taking a breath before speaking.

“I’m sorry —”

“I don’t think that I love you anymore, Soonyoung.”

Your words cut off his, making Soonyoung stop suddenly. Perhaps he knew that you didn’t love him anymore but hearing it out loud felt like a bomb going off in his chest. You feel his hands tremble around yours as he lets out a shaky breath and nods, trying to form the right words only to start and stop making you speak up first.

“I slept with Jihoon. I–I’m in love with Jihoon. I’m sorry…”

Letting go of your hand, Soonyoung rubs his hand over his mouth when you confess what you have done to him. He knew the two of you had gotten close, and now knowing he wasn’t so crazy for being suspicious made Soonyoung’s heart drop into his stomach.

“What the fuck, Y/N…”

It’s you that reach out for Soonyoung’s hand, only for him to pull them away harshly, his eyes meeting yours with disdain before they soften slightly. He knew he was being hypocritical. He had done exactly what you had done but it felt worse because it was Jihoon. It felt personal because it was his best friend and his girlfriend.

“I thought...fuck, I don't know what I fucking thought. That I’d tell you what a fuck up I was, and you and I would start over.” Sighing into a groan, Soonyoung leans his head forward, feeling you run your hand over his cheek as he continues. “We both fucked up, Y/N. Real bad…”

Looking up to try to stop more tears, you only feel more fall and drip along your neck as you nod along with Soonyoung’s words. The truth was painful, but it was better than the lies that you had used to build up some fake security around yourself to hide from the pain.

“We just…we fell out of love, Soonyoung.”

Sitting in silence, seconds turn to minutes and minutes turn to an hour before Soonyoung finally stands up and draws your attention with him. You watch as the man shrugs and wipes his tears from his cheeks before he holds out his hands as if laying out everything on the table.

“I was offered the job at the studio as a full-time position. I had told them I was going to think about it… but I–I’m gonna take it, Y/N.”

You can only nod as Soonyoung lets out a breath before shaking his head as if that’s all he has left to say and walks from the room, leaving you alone on the couch. The emotions you find are like waves in moments of extreme change. You are washed over with relief from telling the truth and then pushed back with pain from the end of a relationship, only to be washed over with the feeling of hope.

It was raining the morning that Soonyoung left for the airport and you were left with an extra set of keys. You had spent time walking around the rooms, picking up the last bits of your relationship. It seemed that with each picture you collected or each stuffed animal you put away, the rain would fall harder along with your tears, making you only think of one person.

Jihoon.

He didn’t know what had happened and you knew you had put him through enough. Just the thought of him as you moved into the kitchen, seeing the picture of the two of you at the farmer’s market, was enough to break your resolve and cause you to find yourself less than an hour later at his door, shivering from the rain.

The storm had only gotten worse throughout the day so hearing his doorbell and your voice calling his name from his door made Jihoon’s heart drop to his stomach. A list of reasons you could be at his door came to his mind as he made his way to you. Soonyoung had been in an accident, you had been hurt, something terrible had happened, or maybe just—no, you couldn’t be there for him.

Opening his door, Jihoon’s breath is taken away by seeing you after so many days, your hair and clothes soaked as you shiver from the rain. Grabbing your hand, he pulled you in and looked you over for any signs of injury but all he could find were your tears mixing with the rain on your cheeks.

“What are you doing, Y/N? Why…why didn’t you grab a coat or something? You’re gonna get sick…”

Shaking your head, you just smile, wrapping your arms around Jihoon’s neck, pulling him close to you, and making him take in a deep breath as you suddenly hug him. He could feel his clothes becoming instantly soaked, but he couldn’t find any reason to care as he wrapped his arms around you and held you close as you clung to him.

“I’m so sorry, Jihoon. I’m so stupid. I love you so much.”

Confusion is what hits Jihoon first when you tell him that you love him. He thinks he is hearing things but you say it again and Jihoon holds you even tighter before letting out a shaky breath.

“I love you too. Tell me what’s going on, honey.”

Letting Jihoon finally move away from you so he can look at your face once again, you lean into his touch as you recount the past couple of days. You explain the fight with Soonyoung and the confessions. Wincing at the idea of Soonyoung’s pain, Jihoon’s brows furrow as he runs his hand along your cheek before resting his forehead against yours.

“He’s right, we did this all fucking wrong, baby. I hate that it happened like this, but... I don’t regret it. I can’t…”

Nodding along with Jihoon, you grab at his shirt, pulling him back close to you as you tell him you love him again and claim your first kiss in days from him. Jihoon’s brows furrow deeply, feeling your lips on his, making him want more after missing you so much.

With a small grunt on your lips, Jihoon tugs you close and lifts you, letting you wrap your legs around his waist so he can carry you down the hall towards his bedroom. Hearing you whine into the kiss, he smiles and shakes his head, only to nip at your lips when he turns into the bathroom and places you on the counter.

“Stay right here…”

Jihoon smirks to himself upon hearing you whisper his name, your fingers clinging to his shirt even as he pulls away from you to lean into the shower, turning it on. You watch as steam starts to fill the room and as Jihoon tugs his shirt over his head before kicking his sweatpants off, leaving him bare in front of you. There was something different about seeing him now, his body on display for you as his blonde hair started to fall from its low bun. You knew he was yours and he was seeing you as his.

“Gotta get you outta those wet clothes, honey. You are gonna get sick; I don’t want that.”

Biting at your lip, you lift your arms as Jihoon tugs at your shirt, pulling it up and over your head. You close your eyes, leaning your head back and relishing the feeling of his soft lips pressing to the swell of your breasts over your bra as his fingers work the clasp loose.

“Mm, not gonna get sick, Hoonie. Oh, fuck…”

You whine out a moan, leaning back against the mirror, when Jihoon’s mouth wraps around your nipple, your bra falling to the floor. Smiling against your skin, Jihoon glances up even at such a close distance to watch your mouth fall open in a moan of his name as he uses his free hand to roll the other hardening bud between his index finger and thumb.

With a soft popping sound, Jihoon lets go of your breasts, moving from one to the other, letting you squirm on the counter with him between your thighs. Sliding your fingers over his arms and the other hand through his hair, you arch your chest towards Jihoon’s mouth as you mutter a quiet plea for more, telling him how much you missed him.

“Yeah? Did you miss me? How much?”

Fingers push into the top of your pants as you lift your hips, letting Jihoon work them down your legs. You try to articulate your words to let Jihoon know how much you missed him, but just incoherently mutters his name and please fall from your lips, making him smirk as his hands push your thighs apart, letting him see how wet you have gotten just from his teasing.

“Shit…You are so pretty. How am I gonna let you go home?”

Shaking your head, you meet Jihoon’s eyes as he moves down to his knees in front of the bathroom counter, pulling you to the edge. The warmth of his tongue running from your entrance to your clit sends a shockwave through your body. Your skin erupts with chill bumps and your toes point as you try to lift your hips from the counter.

Pushing your hips down with one arm, Jihoon groans to your taste as if committing it to memory just in case something were to happen again and he were to not get you back into his bed. Your fingers dig into his hair, feeling Jihoon’s mouth wrap around your clit, only for him to lap his tongue around the bundle of nerves, making your thighs shake.

“Don’t wanna…ah! Don’t wanna go home without you, Jihoon. Fuck!”

Your words almost cause Jihoon to pull back from what he is doing, but your hand keeps his head between your legs as your orgasm rips through you and your cum begins to drip on to his waiting tongue. Groaning at your taste, Jihoon uses his lips to pull at your soft folds, listening to the sounds of your whines as he overstimulates you until you start to close your thighs around his head. Only then does he smile against your pussy, placing one last kiss on your wet folds before standing back up to claim your lips, letting you taste yourself in his mouth.

Your words hadn’t gone by without him noticing, but Jihoon still had much on his mind and wanted in you. Feeling you gasp on his lips, Jihoon picks you up once more and walks with you into his shower, letting the door close behind him. You sigh against his lips as he puts you up against the tile wall, letting the warm water rain down over the both of you.

Smiling against your lips, Jihoon slides his hands along your legs, letting you stand on one, keeping the other at his hip as he speaks between kisses. You can only furrow your brows and let out a moan, feeling his cock slide into you slowly. The stretch is welcomed and intense as Jihoon pins you against the shower wall.

“You don’t want to go home without me?”

Shaking your head, you gasp, feeling Jihoon bottom out inside of you. Fingers scratch along the back of your leg towards your knee as Jihoon moves his kisses to your jaw and then your neck, leaving bites and marks on his way to your ear as you moan his name at your answer.

“Uh huh… miss you. Please, oh fuck… don’t stop.”

With your earlobe between his lips, Jihoon smiles, feeling you clench down on his cock when he thrusts into you hard and deep. He wasn’t in a rush. He wanted to feel every bit of you around him and he wanted to make sure you felt every inch of him as if he were made for you. Jihoon wanted to fill you full of him in every single way, even if he wouldn’t say it out loud to you in the moment, as his hand moved over your stomach, gently pushing down over your lower abdomen.

“I’m not gonna stop, baby… fuck…I wanna be this deep in you all the fucking time.”

Jihoon had dirty talk with you before, especially when you had asked him to be rough with you, but this was different. You could feel how deep he was inside of you and you could almost feel how true his words were. You wanted as much as he did. Laying your hand over his, you gasp as Jihoon’s eyes meet yours with a hard thrust, sending you over the edge once again.

“Good girl, good fucking girl. Cum for me, honey.”

Watching you fall apart for him was almost better than anything Jihoon could physically experience until your walls clenched around him like a vice. Your hips roll towards him and Jihoon is a goner. Any intention he had to hold back his own climax is gone as he groans your name and bites at your lips, pushing his cum into you with each thrust.

By the time you and Jihoon catch your breath, the water starts to go cold. Smiling on your lips, Jihoon slides his tongue against yours for one more deep kiss that makes your mind go blank before he has you on your own two feet once again.

You rely on him to keep you upright as he laughs when you start to complain about the cold water as he finishes cleaning between your legs. Jihoon just looks at you with love and wonder as he helps you out of the shower and wraps a towel around you, knowing you are his.

When you finally wake up in Jihoon’s bed a few hours later, you are happy to find him beside you, his arm under your head, as the moon shines through his window. Turning towards him, you can’t help the urge to run your fingers over his cheek and nose, making Jihoon flinch at your touch and open his eyes slowly to find you looking at him.

“Mm, why aren’t you still asleep, honey?”

Sliding closer to Jihoon, you let him hold you in his arms and press his lips to your forehead. The guilt that got you here washed away with the rain of the storm that you had created. He had weathered it with you and kept you safe even when you felt like you were drowning.

“Was just missing you. I love you, Jihoon.”

Closing his eyes, Jihoon shakes his head and sighs tiredly as you kiss his jaw. He was never going to get tired of hearing that.

“I love you too, honey.”

#seventeen smut #woozi smut #hoshi smut #svthub #svt smut #jihoon smut #soonyoung smut #seventeen angst #woozi angst #hoshi angst #svt angst #woozi x reader #seventeen x reader #hoshi x reader #jihoon x reader #soonyoung x reader #seventeen toxic #seventeen fluff

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bangaveragewhitewine · 9 months

Text

crazy-mad for you

Eddie Munson x Reader (bouncer x bartender, frenemies to lovers) - Happy Hours series

Chicago, 1991. When you’re not pouring beers and shaking cocktails behind the bar of Jackie’s, you’re fighting flirting balancing banter and bite with the metalhead bouncer on your break.

A busy Friday night changes how you see Eddie Munson. Maybe you were wrong about the bouncer with his silver tongue and Bambi brown eyes...

This is 18+. If you’re not 18 please hit the back button and read something else.

Word count: 16.7 K

Contents/Warnings: Frenemies to lovers. Misogynistic comments; objectification, men being men. Some violence; Eddie gets in a fight. This is an 18+ fic. Smoking, alcohol consumption & drug use. Oral (reader receiving). P in V sex. Excessive use of pet names. Eddie & Reader are mid to late twenties. Reader is written as AFAB and uses female pronouns.

Author’s Note: One minute you’re daydreaming about cherry margaritas and Eddie Munson, and the next you’re writing 36 pages of how you fall in love with him... Just girly things? This is my first attempt at writing Eddie ❤️

I do hope you enjoy it, I had fun writing it! Thank you @specialagentmonkey for beta reading / being my hype woman.

Once again, this is an 18+ fic. Please do not repost my work to other sites.

Dividers by me ✌️

The cold fizz of vodka soda lime prickles your throat with a pleasant burn.

It’s August and it’s warm, too warm to be crammed in this little dive bar with too many bodies and not enough of them wearing antiperspirant. Way too warm to be working, slinging cheap drinks to the thirsty Friday night crowd crushed into Jackie’s. They can be stingy with their ‘pleases’ and ‘thank yous’ but the tips are good at least (thanks to the pulled-low hem of your tank top showing just enough and the hug of denim on your hips).

Jackie’s was a popular little dive you had visited during your first week in Chicago; a drink with your new roommate and some friends ended with you charming the owner Frank and promising to return for a trial shift the following evening. That was almost a year ago and you had settled in well, stepping up to be a supervisor after six months.

Now, bone tired and wishing just a little bit that you worked a nine to five, you long for a cool shower and something fried and crispy and maybe cheesy (not particularly in that order). You’re here until close, two a.m last call followed by another hour of cleaning. Then you’re home free. Until tomorrow night anyway.

You tip back the last of your drink and crunch the ice between your teeth. Those last few minutes of your break are dwindling and soon you will haul yourself back, to fill beers and shake-up cocktails, all tits and teeth and aching feet. The music from the bar is loud as you perch on your stool at the back door, but you hear him over it hum-singing something way more Billboard Hot 100 than his usual taste. It makes your lips curve into a smirk, your head leaning back against the cool brick wall.

“Don't you know, hmmhnn change. Things'll go your way. Hmmm hmm Hold On for -”

“Hey, hotshot.”

The small startle that shakes Eddie’s black-clothed body makes you laugh more than it should, particularly when he attempts to brush it off and play cool.

“Fuckin’ Christ, I should’ve known you’d be here.” His voice is a groan, head tipped back with hammed-up exasperation.

“Careful, Ed. They’ll revoke your metalhead licence if they hear you’re singing Wilson Phillips these days.” Your voice is a conspiratorial stage whisper as you cross your legs, stacking one over the other. His usual leather jacket has been swapped out for the hot summer nights, black denim over his usual tight black t-shirt and Dickies.

He rolls and flicks his lighter to set the cigarette between his lips aflame as he meanders toward you. You can hear the crackle of burning tobacco as he takes a long drag, eyes never leaving you. “Not shaking your tits for tips, sugar?”

“Aw, been thinking about me while you’re asking cute girls what their star sign is?” you snark, missing the shadow of something that passes over Eddie’s face as your eyes roll.

You switch your focus to the night sky above as Eddie comes to loom by you. The smoke swirls around him as he offers the cigarette out to you. Before taking it, you reach back and leave your empty glass on the sill behind you and swap a chilled bottle of Budweiser for the smoking cig.

It’s not an olive branch, just part of your usual ritual; trading acidic barbs, mean words, shared smokes and free drinks whenever you’re scheduled on the same shifts (which is most nights).

Eddie uses his keys to uncap the bottle and takes a long pull, head tipped back to show off his pale throat. A sliver of silver glints around his neck. The beer is almost half gone when he rips a truly boyish burp. Gross.

You take a drag, sighing the smoke into the warm air.

“What’s the sigh about, princess? Did someone not say please when they asked for their Cosmo? Your little apron tied too tight?” Eddie plucks at the wrap of black fabric around your waist. The way it hugs the curve and flair of your hips is certainly not lost on him.

You blow your second drag of smoke directly at him for that one. “Well if you could make sure we’re not packing the place out and breaching health and safety, that would be fuckin’ fantastic.”

“Simmer down, princess. I’ve got it handled. You just pour your little drinks and wink at the boys and we’ll get through tonight just fine, ‘kay? Leave the crowd control to me.” Eddie tilts his head, dripping condescension like the total asshole he is. He’s way closer than you even realised and you can smell the spicy Fahrenheit behind the smoke. There’s heavy silence as you both glare at each other in the back alley.

The heat and hectic night make your banter especially snarky but Eddie’s the first to break, nudging you with a little smile. You barely catch his gaze dropping to your lips as you take another drag from his cigarette.

“No one giving you any trouble tonight?” he asks.

“No more than usual. Just absolutely slammed in there. Just got done changing kegs again - they’re drinking us dry and it’s only Friday.” You roll your neck, sighing again when it cracks.

“Tips good?” He seems almost genuine until his mean little smirk returns, “Your tits are probably doing the real heavy liftin’ but..”

“Listen dickh-”

Just as you’re about to cuss him out, there’s a burst of music and crowd noise as one of the other bartenders comes to find you. Michelle looks between you and Eddie before rolling her eyes. “C’mon, you’re really pushin’ that ten-minute break tonight. Sorry to break up whatever this was,” she flaps her hand between you and Eddie (who’s grinning like a wolf as he finishes his beer), “but we have a bachelorette party in line and it’s already crazy in there.”

“Bachelorettes?” Eddie pushes off the wall and steals the smoke back from your fingers, “Sounds like I should probably get back to work. Ladies.” He winks before sauntering off, leaving you almost simmering with something like anger until Michelle scoffs and drags you back inside.

“The sooner you two just bang and get it out of your system, the better,” Michelle tuts.

“Ew. Pass.” You scoff and pause at the dingy mirror to fix your hair and pat the sweat away with a rip of trusty blue roll, scooping your breasts up in their cups and adjusting your top before scurrying after Michelle again. If you’re going to be busy, you may as well make it worthwhile and rake in the tips.

The bar is louder than loud but you’re energised from your vodka soda and little sparring session with Eddie and easily fall back into step with the other bar staff, working together like a well-oiled machine - despite the annoying rusty hinge manning the door.

Eddie rejoined the staff with his buddy Jeff in tow after they had spent some time on tour with their band. You had barely contained your eye rolls when the loud metalhead had waltzed into one of Frank’s staff meetings (conducted over pizza and pitchers of beers) unannounced and kicked his feet up on a table like he owned the place. Everyone was happy to see him (adding a round of shots to toast his glorious return) but you stayed wary of the flirty metalhead with a silver tongue and big brown Bambi eyes. Yeah, you felt warm all over when he looked you up and down and smiled like a wolf but you knew his type - total flirt, make a girl feel special and then move on to the next one. You didn’t move your entire life to a whole new state to get fucked over again, so you and Eddie settled into trading catty comments while you watch out for each other, allowing the occasional flirtation for balance. Getting under each other’s skin in whatever way seemed most annoying and fun? It worked, made the slow nights bearable, the busy ones more fun. Whatever it was.

An hour later the small of your back is nearly soaked with perspiration. The bachelorettes are in full flight, meaning you have been pouring shots and mixing cocktails non-stop. They’re sweet at least, good with their excited ‘thank you!’s for all the fruity drinks you made them - cherry margaritas, blue lagoons and strawberry daiquiris going down an absolute treat.

You’re shaking another batch of lemon drop shots for a girl's night group when you become hyper-aware of two yuppie finance bros with their gaze firmly fixed on your chest, trading little smirks and comments with each other behind their glasses. You’re overcome with an overwhelming sense of ick.

It’s nothing new, but it doesn’t make it any easier to ignore sometimes - even when you’re up-the-walls busy and the kegs need to be changed. You refocus and fix your gaze on the glowing EXIT sign, thinking about how many more cocktails you will make before close. Your eye is caught instead by Eddie standing by the door, already looking at you while he’s supposed to be making sure none of the patrons are being too dickish.

When your eyes meet he tilts his chin in a nod. Eddie smirks as he shimmies his chest at you, to which you mouth a very easily recognisable ‘FUCK YOU’ with a cheeky wink for good measure.

He shakes his head and you pour the line of shots, earning yourself a nice big tip and a rake of compliments from the drunk girls who make you promise to do a shot with them later. Not a promise you can definitely keep, but their enthusiasm is a balm for your soul.

As they shuffle away to give each other pep talks in the bathroom (gosh, you love them), one of the men who had been eyeing you up steps into their place. You don’t miss the way he drags his eyes over their bodies before his snake-like stare is fixed on you. You have already made plenty on tips so you dial back the smile, giving him a barely polite brow raise in place of a ‘What’ll it be?’

“Two whiskeys, top shelf. Whatever’s expensive in this dump,” he says, speaking to your chest rather than your face. You can smell the sour of his breath across the counter.

You square your jaw and suppress an eye roll that would surely render you sightless for the rest of your days. “If you don’t like it, the doors over there. Ice?”

He grunts affirmative and you pour the drinks from the barely touched bottle, slamming the glasses down just hard enough to startle him before you give him his total.

“There’s an extra fifty in it if you give me a smile,” he says, leaning his elbow on the bar with the crisp note in hand. “You been given’ out a lot more for a lot less all night. One little smile for me?” The man nods to your cleavage, and you refuse to feel self-conscious.

You can’t summon the effort to even fuck with him, come up with a comeback that his Neanderthal brain couldn’t possibly comprehend. You give him his total again along with your best deadpan glare. “You’re holding up the line. Pay up or am I going to need to cut you off, buddy?”

His face turns sour, acidic anger bubbling up. “You’re a hard little bitch, aren’t ya?”

You smirk at that, plucking the fifty from between his thin fingers to cash up before dropping his change back on the counter. “I am, thank you so much for noticing.” Your voice is nearly saccharine, and you play up the airhead facade for a moment before turning to the customer next to him. “Next please!”

His curses blend into the background as Michelle hip-checks you with a grin and wink, which you return while beginning to pour beers for your next order. If you let every slimeball get to you, you would have given up a long time ago.

On such a busy night, it was easy to be distracted and forget all about him, but the sharp brown eyes standing by the door saw everything - and he wasn’t so forgiving.

Almost another hour passes; another keg change, more cocktails to shake, another few visits from your favourite group of girls (who you take a shot of tequila with when they bat their lashes at you - you’re a sucker when it comes to girls who give you compliments and smell like vanilla).

The crowd thins a bit and you take a turn collecting empties, happy to have an excuse to get out from behind the bar and stretch your legs again, even if it is to balance too many glasses on a too-small tray. The ever-changing obstacle course of the floor on a Friday night is one you’re well practised at, dodging stray elbows and dipping in between patrons to take their spent glasses from the sticky tables, maybe chat a little if it’s not too loud or busy.

Paradise City is pouring through the speakers as your arms begin to protest the load they are carrying. You know your limit and pick up two more stacked pint glasses, catching Eddie’s eye as he bids goodnight to some regulars. His boot is already halfway out the door after them when you see his face change into something you can’t fully comprehend. Not because you can’t read him - you absolutely can - but your body is careening forward and down toward the floor before you can catch yourself. Your foot had caught on something that hadn’t been there before you met Eddie’s stare, sending you flying forward.

There’s a thud, crash, smash as you hit the deck alongside every single glass you had expertly balanced. The sound feels huge, ringing in your ears and it’s like the air is sucked out of the room, your body is winded by the unexpected impact. The music cuts and everything hurts - part ego, part ‘that’ll bruise tomorrow’ pain.

You wish for the sticky floor to just swallow you up as patrons form a little circle around you, crunching broken glass under their feet. A familiar pair of boots stops right by your head. Eddie. He crouches to kneel by you with one hand heavy on your shoulder and floods your already overwhelmed senses with his smoke and leather and spice.

He says your name, edged with panic until you open your squeezed-shut eyes. You manage to push yourself up with a small wince, hauling yourself with his help to sit on a quickly-vacated low stool. His hands feel huge as they cup your face, you hadn’t noticed how long his lashes were (unfair) or the freckles dusted across his nose.

“M’okay, Ed. Jus’ need a minute,” your murmur, head ducked to hide your hot cheeks and embarrassment. He stands and puts his arm around you, without thinking you rest your head against his hip but miss his slight intake of breath as your coworkers calm the crowd and start sweeping and gathering the glass, and thankfully turn the music back on.

Eddie bends a little to speak to you, low and quiet, “Just sit there a sec, okay? ‘Chelle is going to bring you to the staff room.”

You nod and take a few breaths before taking his hand to stand and be passed safely into Michelle’s care.

“I’ll be back to you in a sec. Don’t go gettin’ in any more trouble, ‘kay?” Eddie’s softness has an edge now, his eyes zeroing in on the man who had given you shit at the bar earlier. The one Eddie had been glaring at ever since; he had seen him stick his foot out to trip you.

You’re just about to push through to the back hallway when you hear raised voices. Eddie’s voice is louder than the others. You turn and see him squaring up to the slimeball who asked you for a smile earlier, not looking as clever or slick now that Eddie’s up in his face.

“Oh, what the fuck,” Michelle murmurs, pausing behind you to watch.

“I saw you fuckin’ trip her man. Get the fuck out.” Eddie is incensed. “Been givin’ her shit all night.”

Trip her? Oh. He means you.

“I wouldn’t touch’er. That bitch? Fuck off man, get out of my face.”

There’s a scuffle, another broken glass. More shouting before it really kicks off, fists swinging. Through the horrified crowd, you see knuckles connecting with Eddie’s pretty face. It hurts when you yell out his name, adding to the noise as Jeff rushes in to get the men under control.

Eddie lands his own punch, rings slamming into the man's jaw, raising a collective ‘ooof’ from the gathered crowd. Despite the blood on his face and hands, Eddie manages to haul him out into the street with Jeff, some beefy regular marching the second man out by the scruff of his neck.

“What the fuck…” you breathe, realising that you were holding on to Michelle’s arm way too tight. You apologise and she steers you back to the staff room in a daze of pain and confusion (more from the fight than your fall). The room is little more than a box with a wall of beat-up lockers, a sink and counter, a table with cracked Formica and creaky chairs and a squishy old two-seater. It’s cramped but it can be a haven on a busy night.

As you ease yourself into the corner of the squishy sofa, Michelle pours you a big measure of whiskey for the shock. She kneels in front of you, looking you over for any cuts or scrapes from the glass, and checks your pupils for good measure. You’re just shaken up and feeling the impact of the fall.

“You dizzy or anything?” she asks, squeezing your knee. “You’re gonna have a big fuckin’ bruise, babe. Remember when I spilled that pitcher, slipped and fell on my ass back before Christmas? Black and blue well into New Year.” She squeezes your knee and encourages you to take a sip of your drink.

The whiskey burns but you barely feel it.

“Why did Eddie hit that guy? Did.. did he trip me? The floor was clear, I just… I didn’t see... My foot caught something but..” Your voice shakes from the adrenaline, the shock of the last few minutes.

She shrugs with a little smile. “I didn’t see either. You’ll need to ask Ed yourself.” A little frown etches between her brows. “He doesn’t… he doesn’t get pissed like that for no reason. He’s a good guy, babe. He looks out for everyone, staff and the drunks. He wouldn’t do that without a good reason. I know you get up each other’s ass but..-”

As you take another sip, the door swings open.

Eddie. Eddie with a bloody nose, lip swollen. Eddie with his jacket off, draped over his arm as he flexes his bloody knuckles around a bottle of Jack Daniels, a pint glass of ice in the other hand.

“Hey, you okay?”

His brown eyes are wide, but he’s trying to play cool despite the adrenaline coursing through him too. Eddie feels like his entire body is buzzing, not in a good way like when he plays a gig or when he gets you riled up at him, when you roll your eyes and give him that smirk - bad like when he used to get in fights in school, when a teacher would assume he was the troublemaker and send him to detention or the principal’s office.

You look at Eddie and he looks right back at you. You can’t look away from each other. It’s like your fall and his punches caused something to shift; you can’t name it but it weighs on you, both of you.

Michelle squeezes your hand. “I’ll leave you two to patch yourselves up. Be good.” A kiss is dropped to your head and she squeezes Eddie’s arm as she passes him by.

It’s just you now. You and Eddie, both hurting.

“Ed…”

He takes a long pull from the bottle of Jack and drops into the seat next to you.

“Eddie, what the hell was that?” Your voice is quiet and your eyes shine when you look at him. He is a ball of frenetic energy, knee bouncing. You take in the black ink on his arms, see the veins and muscles twitch beneath. His nose and mouth are stained bloody, knuckles and rings too.

He looks over you, sees how you’re holding yourself carefully after your fall. “He tripped you.” Eddie’s voice is quiet, not something you hear often. He’s loud and he’s brash, hear-him-before-you-see-him kinda guy.

“Oh.”

“Oh? He’d been giving you shit all night, you could’ve called me. Or Jeff.” He sips the whiskey again and tops up your glass without another word.

“Yeah, he was a creep. Nothing new there. If I come crying to you and Jeff every time someone gets fresh with me I’d never be behind the bar. People are assholes. I can handle myself, Ed.”

“And how’d that go for you tonight? You could’ve been really fuckin’ hurt.” His eyes blaze, nostrils flare.

Your jaw drops, “You’re blaming me?”

“No. No, fuck,” he growls in frustration. “I know you can handle yourself. That’s why you’re fuckin’ great at your job. If I had just taken him out when he gave you shit at the bar then maybe -”

“Jesus Christ, Eddie I don’t need you to save me or protect me! Shit happens! This was shit. It happened. You didn’t need to do that.”

“I know. But I wanted to... I want to..”

The air between you is charged and heavy.

I want to. What does that mean?

Eddie covers himself quickly.

“It’s my job. I want to make sure you, everyone here, can do their job without some fuckin’ guy with halitosis making it worse for you, waving his cash in your face like that.” Eddie nudges you gently, “I just want to do somethin’ right. I like working with you, even when you’re a pain in my ass.”

You scrunch your nose up, “Sap.” It’s easy to both fit back into your normal routine, ignoring the lingering something more that had just become quite clear to both of you.

“I might like working with you too. Don’t let it get to your head, I’m not sure your ego needs to get any bigger, Munson.”

He smiles, but the throb of his nose makes him wince and swear.

Eddie has made no attempt to put that glass of ice to good use so you ease yourself up to grab two clean bar towels, tipping the ice into one before wrapping it up. You pass it back to him before filling the empty glass with water.

“Thanks, princess.” Eddie flexes his fingers as the ice soothes the burning with cool unpleasantness.

You ease yourself back into your seat, facing Eddie now. “C’mere. Let me clean you up.”

He pauses, looking at you from the side of his big brown eyes before turning to face you. “It’s not broken. Just a little blood. You should see the other guy..” Eddie grins when you roll your eyes.

“My hero,” you deadpan, though you do kind of mean it.

With the damp corner of the rag, you gently begin to wipe the blood from Eddie’s face, sitting closer than you have ever really been to him. It’s silent between you, the quietest you have ever seen him. He’s too busy watching you, your focused face and how seriously you are taking your task.

“Very gentle,” he murmurs.

“Mm, don’t try me, Munson.” You’re quiet again, concentrating on wiping the blood and not looking into his eyes. “Not your first bloody nose after a fight then?”

“M’nope. High school… Mosh pits. Few angry drunks. The usual.” He doesn’t mention his father’s temper, his first bloody nose from a beer-soaked backhand. The whiskey tastes sour in his mouth at the memory.

You lean back a bit, assessing your work before wetting another edge of the towel. Eddie crosses his eyes, looking down his nose. “Am I pretty again?” He gives an extra cheesy grin for emphasis, making you laugh. It makes his heart soar; that sound, how you duck your head. But he sees your pained wince, bringing him right back to earth.

“Shit, sorry.” “It’s fine. I’ll live.”

You bring your hand back to his face and wipe the last of the blood-stained around his mouth, taking one last slow swipe over his too-plump-to-be-decent lower lip. That was more for you than for him, though the spark of fire in his eyes said otherwise; it was the same spark lit low in your belly since you had first laid eyes on him and started your incessant teasing of each other.

“All done.” Your voice is just above a whisper, neither of you making any move backwards.

“Thank you, nurse.” You can feel the warmth of his breath on your face. “Hey, can you... wear one of those little white dresses next time?”

He’s grinning again when you shove at his shoulder to put some space between you, the skin beneath almost burning hot under your hand even through the black cotton of his t-shirt.

“No next time. You hear me? Your groupies will come for me if that pretty face gets all bashed up.” There’s that smirk of yours that sets the embers burning low in his stomach alight.

He rolls his eyes at you, stealing your move. “You heading home?” he asked, watching you again as you drained the last of the whiskey in your glass.

“Mm, soon. I’ll check if I can help close and clean, then I’ll go.” You lean your head against the back of the battered sofa and close your eyes briefly. You think you might just sleep here until your stomach growls like something from the seventh circle of hell.

Eddie’s big brown eyes shine with mirth, astounded at the inhuman noise that just came from your curled-up body.

“Shut up. I’ll make cereal or something when I get home.”

“Nuh-uh. You like fries?”

“Who doesn’t like fries?” you peek one eye open to look at him.

“Let’s get some and I’ll make sure you get home safe.” Eddie checks his knuckles and swipes some of the blood from his rings, acting far more nonchalant than he felt.

“You don’t need to.” Fries and a shake did sound amazing. Walking home while I felt like a human embodiment bruise? Not so much.

“I know. But I’m going anyway, and you need to eat. So let me.”

He pokes your arm as he speaks; you think fleetingly that you might let Eddie Munson do anything if he asked you nicely, spoke to you with that hushed husky voice. You think that you definitely must have hit your head when you start thinking about his eyes…

But he can’t know that, so you settle for an eye roll. “Ugh, fine.”

With far too much energy, Eddie pushes himself up and empties the ice into the sink along with the red-tinged water. He potters around the little staff room, chucking rags into the bag for the laundry and rinsing glasses. You watch him, curious and a little confused until you realise you are staring and don’t want to be caught.

You sit up and unlock your tiny locker, taking off and balling up your apron to throw in your bag, spraying deodorant under your arms before shutting and locking it again. Eddie’s got his jacket back on and you carry your own too-big denim jacket over your arm. You give him a nod, ready to go, and head out to the bar to check with Michelle that it’s okay for you to call it a night

The crowd had thinned to a few stragglers who were almost ready to call it a night. Jeff has the door under control and the bar staff are already cleaning tables and glasses. You promise Michelle you will call her tomorrow, that you will stay in bed if you hurt too much, and accept her gentle hug after she passes you your tips for the night.

“Get home safe. No more getting into trouble,” she says, eyeing you and Eddie together with interest (and some smugness).

“No promises. See ya tomorrow ‘Chelle,” Eddie says with a wink before you both head out toward the black ‘86 Dodge Daytona parked a little down the street. It’s still humid and warm outside and you walk in silence until you see him unlock the nice car, opening the door for you. Your stomach flip-flops when he gives you a slight bow. He’s only being nice because you made an ass of yourself at work, you tell yourself.

“Jesus, being a rockstar really pays off,” you tease and throw your bag into the passenger footwell before easing yourself in. “Or did you steal this?”

You knew he had worked in a garage before moving to the city, and you force the thought of Eddie in a grease-marked tank top out of your head.

“Nah, my days of grand theft auto are long behind me.” Eddie winks and closes the door before rounding the shiny bonnet to sit in the driver’s seat. His keys jangle before he turns the ignition.

The radio blares Iron Maiden’s The Number of the Beast so loud that you just about hear Eddie’s swearing over it until he gets the volume down. “Oops.”

“Dude, mind your fuckin’ ears. You’ll be deaf by thirty.” Your own ears are ringing after the onslaught of noise.

“Huh?” He holds his hand up to his ear and smirks stupidly before revving the engine.

You sink back into the low seat and shake your head; your own smile reflects at you in the window as he peels away from the curb. “You better not murder me, Munson. I’ll haunt the fuck out of you if you do.”

“Once again babe, kidnap and human sacrifice are also long behind me.”

He drives a little fast, but you don’t hate how you feel sitting in the passenger side of his car. He has a faded Black Ice Little Tree hanging from the rearview mirror alongside a skull keychain that cackles and glows red when you push a button on the back. The cramped back seat camouflages balled-up band shirts, a pair of beat-up Chucks, amp leads and guitar strings - a random accumulation that gives you a glimpse of who Eddie is outside of work. It’s easy for your mind to wander; Eddie, a back seat, what kind of girls he usually brings for a ride in his baby. Instead, you wonder about all you don’t know about the guy you spend a good part of your week with, the man currently driving you to get diner food at 2 a.m. after he punched a guy who was mean to you.

“Feelin’ okay?” he checks, flexing his knuckles on the steering wheel as he takes a left.

“Yeah.” You roll your head to look over at him. “Tell me something.”

Eddie glances across at you, brow raised under his bangs. “What?”

“Something, anything. A secret, a story. You always have something to say, so tell me something.”

“Mmm. You gonna laugh at me?”

“Probably.”

“Shit okay. Um... Okay. I almost got kicked out of my high school graduation. My friends were disruptively loud, like obnoxious motherfuckers - love them to death. And I flipped the Principal off instead of shaking his sweaty little hand.”

It does make you laugh, just a little - more of a really amused smile. “That’s fuckin’ cool, Munson. Were they your little Dungeons and Dorks friends?”

“Rude.” He pauses. “Dragons. Dungeons and Dragons.”

“Nerd. You’re from where, like Ballsack, Indiana?”

“Close. Hawkins - just north of Ballsack actually.”

“Can’t say I know it. Home of the Metalheads or..?”

“No. Definitely not. S’why I left.”

Your lower lip juts out just a little at the loaded confession.

“Your turn. One secret, please. Dirtier the better.”

“Perv.”

“Witch.”

You smirk, leaning your head back. “Been called worse tonight.”

You don’t see Eddie’s knuckles twitch while you think of a secret. Hearing that guy call you a bitch reminded him of all the times he had heard his poor mother called the same by the deadbeat he called Dad.

“Okay, you’re going to piss your pants at me. I used to work at this kinda fancy cocktail place before I moved here,” you say. “Totally lied about my experience before starting. Think… wannabe jazz lounge for yuppies. The menu was like this leather folder thing. Anyway, my first week and this like.. rich lookin’ guy comes in and asks for a Roman Coke.”

You see Eddie glance at you as he indicates and swerves the car smoothly to park opposite a little diner not far from where you live.

“I’m a few days in, super eager to get it all right. I’m like, ‘Yes, of course, coming right up’ and can I remember what the hell is in a Roman Coke? Fuck no. It’s not on the menu so I think ‘Hey this guy must know better than dumb little me’. I’m flipping through the recipe cards, everyone else is busy and kinda mean anyway so I stare at the liquors for like two minutes before I go back and ask him ‘What’s in that again?’.”

Eddie’s biting his lip. He knows where this is going. He sees how you light up when you tell your story, begs the butterflies to calm their swooping and swirling behind his ribs as you deliver the punchline.

“Rum. And Coke.”

His head falls forward, rests on the top of the steering wheel. His shoulders shake with silent laughter.

“Eddie. He was the owner.”

He cackles. That throaty yell of a laugh you hear ringing through the bar or from the staff room when he’s goofing around instead of working.

“Oh no..” He’s wiping tears from his eyes as you cringe in his passenger seat. “Oh princess, that’s fuckin’ terrible.”

You sit together in his parked car until you settle, faces hurting from smiling until your stomach growls again.

“Jesus, the woman needs fries - stat.”

“And a Coke?”

“And a Coke.”

Eddie is out of the car and opening your door before you even have your seatbelt off. He offers you his hand to help you out of the car, careful of your sore body after the fall.

“Feeling okay?” he asks, still holding your hand.

“A bit achy. I’ll have a hot shower and take something before bed.” You lift his hand to check his knuckles. “Sore?”

“I’ve had worse.”

He squeezes your hand gently before you let go and cross the street to the hole-in-the-wall place glowing with neon Coca-Cola signs.

“You get in a lot of fights then?” you ask as he holds the door.

“Not anymore.” Eddie shrugs and leads you to a little table, nodding politely to the waitress filling coffees at the counter. She says hi to him by name and you think about Eddie coming in here alone, or not, after his shifts.

The backs of your thighs catch on the red vinyl and you know you will need to peel yourself up later.

Eddie sits opposite you, looking immediately at home as he relaxes back in the booth. In the bright diner lights you can see where his lip is still swollen and sore, the lingering specs of blood in his nostril despite your careful clean-up.

The waitress, an older woman with thinly drawn brows, comes over and pinches Eddie’s cheek with motherly affection. “Hi hon, you two know what you’re havin’?”

Eddie scrunches his nose like a bunny. “Hi, Marie. Usual for me, and a big basket of fries and a Coke?” He looks at you for confirmation, and you nod. “Please and thank you.”

She eyes you up with a little smile as she writes the order. “I was wonderin’ when Eddie was going to bring a nice girl for me to meet. Make yourself at home, sweetheart.”

By the time you both open your mouths to set Marie straight, she’s already gone. Eddie’s cheeks tinge pink, but he shrugs it off. “Hate to have to break her heart and tell her you’re not a nice girl.”

You gasp in mock offence and put your hand to your heart. “I am so nice.” You can’t even keep a straight face as you say it. “Slandering my good name, Munson. I thought you were all about protecting my honour.”

Your close-to-the-bone teasing keeps the rosy tint on his cheeks.

“I never told you, your face when you fell? Fuckin’ hilarious. Should’ve taken a picture to put behind the bar.”

The jab puts you even again, not that either of you keeps score but it’s all about balance. Can’t be too nice, don’t want to be too mean.

You rest your head against the back of the booth and close your eyes for a moment, feeling the exhaustion from a busy and unpredictable night wash over you.

Eddie takes the opportunity to just look at you for a moment; even under the too-bright lights of the diner, he thinks you might just be the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

“Tell me something else,” you say before opening your eyes. When you do, you catch a fleeting dreamy look on Eddie’s face and lean forward to rest your chin on your hand as Marie drops over your drinks and food; fries for you, a burger with oozing American cheese and crisp bacon for Eddie.

“So nosy,” he teases, shoving a straw into his fizzing Coca-Cola.

You shrug, feeling a burn in your stomach; maybe you were overstepping. “You don’t have to. You can sit and stare at me if you prefer,” You take a long sip through your own gently placed straw and raise your brows at him.

He can’t and won’t argue with that one and stirs the ice as he thinks, takes a sip.

“One of the first gigs I played out of our hometown, we had like thirty people instead of the usual five drunks in the Hideout. I tried to crowd surf, thinkin’ I was hot shit. Broke my wrist.”

Your eyes blow wide as you eat the best fry of your life - it’s perfectly crisp and fluffy, salted just right - but the punchline of Eddie’s latest confession had you wanting to know more.

“You want half?” Eddie asks, nodding to his burger.

“No, I'm good, thanks. Hold on, reverse to the breaking your wrist after thinking you were Iggy fucking Pop.”

He’s already a bite in but holds his wrist up before he flips you off. “See? Good as new,” he says, pausing his chew.

The fries are too good to waste so you push down the urge to throw one at him.

“I was eighteen. Stupid kid. S’the reason I didn’t graduate that year.” He sips his Coke again and watches your reaction from beneath his lashes.

“That’s shitty.” You feel the frown deepen between your brows, angry on his behalf about something he was long over. “No wonder you flipped the principal off.”

You share your fries with Eddie and eat until your stomach feels warm and full. You share another secret too, tell him about the time you got so scared in a haunted house that you punched some guy dressed as a zombie and got kicked out. He almost choked on a fry at that and laughed so loud that Marie looked over and shook her head fondly at her favourite customer.

It’s easy to drop the charade that you and Eddie don’t get along. A diner at fuck o’clock in the morning exists a world away from the little bar that pays your rent and bills. When you see him get excited telling you a story, letting you see Eddie beyond the bar, you know you got him wrong - he’s funny as fuck, sweet too.

Midway through a story about how his friend Robin had dragged him to do (very) drunk karaoke last week, Eddie catches you staring and scrunches his face a little. “Am I rambling? Fuck, sorry.”

“No. Well, a little, but I like it.” You sip the dregs of your refilled Coke and smile a little.

He smiles back, ducking his head just a little and he catches the time on his watch. His Bambi brown eyes blow wide when he realises. “Jesus, I oughta get you home. The sun will be up soon.”

You didn’t realise either, but you also don’t care. You’re still tired, still aching, but you feel lighter than you have in months, like a long-dead spark might just be coming back. The warm glow is dampened just a bit when Eddie gulps down the last of his drink.

He pulls his jacket back on and insists that he helps you put yours on when you wince. He settles the bill, kisses the back of Marie’s hand and promises to come see her soon. Neither of you let her down when she says she hopes to see you again sometime.

It’s cooler outside now, but the warmth in Eddie’s car and his gentle singing along to the radio rocks you into a light doze as he drives the few blocks to the address you gave him. It kills him to wake you once he’s parked outside.

The small frown lines on your forehead tell him you’re still in some pain after the tumble you took. The ache in his knuckles felt like nothing in comparison to the twisting anger in his gut when he saw that prick’s foot shove out into your path and you watched as you fell in slow motion.

He gives it a minute, tries not to stare like a creep, before reaching over to shake your knee gently.

“Hey.” He says your name so softly, so gently, and taps his fingers against your knee.

You startle slightly and realise where you are. “Sorry, Thanks for the ride, Eddie,” you say quietly. “And the fries. And everything.”

He smiles again, a gentle curve upward of his lips as his fingers rest on your knee. “Any time. We’re like two or three blocks from each other.”

Neither of you wants to burst the already waning bubble you have been in since you left the bar. For a moment, you just look at each other until the air becomes too thick, too heady to breathe easy. You’re not entirely convinced that you didn’t hit your head, that this whole night hasn’t been just some dream of yours. The heat of his hand on your leg tells you it’s real. This is something real.

And still, you make the first move. Pop the bubble. Too much. Too scary.

Your seatbelt clicks open and you grab your bag as Eddie does the same, coming to open your door and offering you a hand to get out.

Neither of you let go of the other’s hand, eking out the last of whatever this was before you have to go your separate ways and think about what it could turn into if you only had the bravery. You’re both standing so close and you watch the shadow of his stupid-long lashes under the street light.

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Today. Whatever. At work.” You want to slap yourself for stuttering.

“Only if you feel up to it. Don’t be a hero, princess.”

“That’s your job, Ed. I’ll see you at work. Thank you, again..”

You squeeze his hand, he squeezes back.

You walk to your door and Eddie rounds the car again to the driver's side. He raises a hand to salute you as you turn to give him one little wave before closing the door.

“Fuck,” you sigh with your back pressed to the wood of the door. “Fuck.” Eddie growls as his head drops against the roof of the car.

You both take a minute. Need a minute before you can move on.

You drag yourself up the stairs and let yourself in, quiet enough to not wake your flatmate. Eddie waits to see your light come on before starting the car and driving the two blocks to his place.

After popping some painkillers you crawl into bed. Even your racing mind and pounding heart can’t keep you from falling into the deepest sleep you have had in months. Your dreams echo with Eddie’s happy throaty laugh, the gasp from the bar when he threw the first punch, the sound you made when you saw a fist crash into his pretty face.

You sleep late through the Saturday morning city sounds as they turn to afternoon and float through your cracked open window. You sleep until your flatmate knocks to check you made it home and are still breathing, then doze off again while she makes brunch for you both.

Over eggs and bacon, toast and fresh fruit, coffee and Advil, you tell her everything from last night and show her your bruises. She runs to CVS to get arnica cream and more painkillers while you strip your bed, shower and do laundry, keep busy to keep the recurring thoughts of Eddie from your head.

While you are folding clean clothes from earlier in the week back into your drawers, you come across a guitar pick Eddie had left on the bar one time before your shift started; once lost from his pocket, found again amongst the collection of shirts and shorts and jeans you wore to work. You had meant to give it back, then he had called you a brat for something stupid. Maybe he had burped too loud in your direction, and so you didn’t bother. As you run your thumb over the smooth curve of it, you think maybe he’s been at the back of your mind for a longer time than you even realised.

You’re sore all over but you call Michelle and let her know you will be in for your shift. You don’t tell her that you stayed out extra late with Eddie talking about stupid shit and laughing until your face hurt - you're not sure you could handle her sweet smugness over the phone.

After a long bath to soak your muscles and a huge plate of pasta for dinner, you get ready for work. Denim shorts, a tight black t-shirt tucked in, and your trusty Dr Martens (despite the heat). You add some jewellery, spritz your perfume, and fix your hair up off the back of your neck to keep cool. You swipe some Raisin Rage on your lips before wiping it off in favour of a slick of cherry flavour Chapstick. At the last minute, the lipstick makes its way into your bag - just in case.

It’s just after six when you step back into Jackie’s to help cut wedges of lime and lemon for drinks, make sure the barrels and kegs are hooked up properly, the mixers ready to go. It’s almost time to open up and you haven’t seen (or heard) Eddie yet. You chase your disappointment with a quick smoke break with one of the summer hires before Frank pulls you aside, making sure you’re okay after last night (and that you’re not thinking of suing the bar or anything).

“My wages wouldn’t cover a lawyer, Frank. Even with the tips,” you smirk before stepping from his office out into the hall, running straight into black denim and spicy cologne.

“Woah, easy there.” Eddie’s hands steady you, two wide palms on your arms that squeeze gently when you look up into his smiling face. “You’re a fuckin’ liability, honey.”

Your cheeks feel hot but you shove his chest gently. “I was wondering when you’d arrive. It was so peaceful and quiet, what a shame.”

Back to normal. Except Eddie’s hands are still on your arms, his thumb circling on the round of your shoulder. “Feelin’ okay?” he checks, speaking quietly just for you.

You nod and lift your hand, taking his chin between your finger and thumb, feeling brave alongside the little intake of breath Eddie just about hides. “No bruises. Good.”

There’s a beat where you and Eddie aren’t quite sure what you mean, what to say next. You’re glad that Frank calls for Eddie from his office, wanting to have the same chat with him as he had with you. It gives you both a good excuse to let go of each other, figure out what the fuck that was before your shift starts.

He squeezes your shoulders and gives you a little smile before letting you go. “Be good. Don’t get in trouble.”

“I’ll try, hot shot,” you say quietly, giving him a wink before going to join Michelle and the other bartenders for a quick pre-open meeting - but not before you dip into your locker to pat a layer of lipstick on.

The crowd begins to trickle in, slow and steady until it’s packed full and the music blares just loud enough. They’re a fun crowd tonight, and everyone is in good spirits now that it’s not quite so oppressively hot outside. You don’t have time to think about much else in between chatting to customers and mixing drinks; shaking cocktails is a bit more laborious when your body aches but you don’t complain.

It’s almost eleven before you take your break. You take another Advil before slipping past the Staff Only door. The air is tinged with smoke as Eddie leans against the brick, waiting.

His face lights up when he sees you and the two glasses you’re carrying. “Double fisting?” he asks, taking another drag.

“One for you, one for me. Mines the water.” You extend out the dark fizzing highball glass to him, which he eyes suspiciously. He passes you the nearly burnt-out smoke as a trade-off.

“What’s this?” he asks, “The witch's potion? I knew you’d take me out by poisoning me.”

You prop yourself on your stool and sip your ice water, smirking into your glass. “It’s a Roman Coke.”

Eddie’s laugh rings through the alley and he holds up the glass. “You fuckin’... Wow. What an honour.” His free hand covers his heart, silver rings glinting in the light. It would be easy to think he’s being condescending or playing around, it’s what you do. But Eddie is genuinely a little bit touched and a whole lot smitten. He can feel his heart beating faster under his palm.

You pass him a paper-wrapped straw before watching as he takes a curious sip of your special mix. You take a drag of his cigarette and watch his eyes blow wide as he computes the flavours.

“D’you hate it?” you ask carefully.

“What is in this? It’s insane! I really like it,” Eddie says, grinning.

His smile makes your tummy flutter.

“It’s rum - but like, a coffee-infused rum - and Coca-Cola, with Sambuca,” you list off the ingredients that had been turning over in your head all evening.

Eddie nods as he takes another sip, letting the flavours wash over his tongue. “Mm, I like it. You’re a real little alchemist, huh? Get it on the menu.”

You laugh and pass him back his smoke. “Nah. That’s an Eddie special. Just to say thanks..”

Eddie looks at you, watching your teeth sink into your stained-dark lip as you wait for him to respond. He’s a shade softer than the usual tough-but-fun guy who works the door, softer than when you’re usually tearing strips off of each other for fun on your breaks.

“Careful,” he says, voice quiet. He looks almost bashful.

You frown a little. Your gut twists uncomfortably. Had you read it all wrong?

“I don’t know what to do with myself when pretty girls are sweet to me,” he says, sipping his drink pointedly.

The knot in your stomach swoops. He thinks you’re pretty. Eddie thinks you’re pretty. Eddie who flirts with dolled-up girls all night while he’s checking IDs.

You look back at him, see how the light and shadows play on the slope of his nose and those long lashes. “You have plenty of practice, Ed,” you say, so quiet. “You always know what to say.”

He smiles just a little and shakes his head. “Not with you. S’why I say stupid shit. Anyway, no one’s as pretty or sweet as you,” he says. “Even when you’re mean. Especially when you’re mean - so fuckin’ pretty then.”

Your laugh is almost involuntary, cheeks feeling warm. “That was smooth, Eddie,” you say, teasing him again; that was comfortable, less scary.

“It was? Oh good. I’m fighting for my life here.” He laughs and leans against the wall beside you.

He’s taller than you as you sit on your stool, tuning your body sideways to look up at him. “Putting the moves on me, Munson?”

“Is it working?” Eddie raises his brows, pushing them up under his choppy fringe. There’s a playful twinkle in his eyes, hopeful and yet apprehensive.

“Yeah, I think it might be,” you whisper, biting your lip again. He wants to bite it for you, soothe the pinch of his sharp teeth with his silver tongue.

You reach a hand out, sliding your fingertips up over the back of his hand and wrist until they slip under the cuff of his sleeve. You bring his hand down onto your thigh, warm and bare in the summer evening heat.

You’re feeling brave. Eddie is too.

He leaves his drink on the sill next to your water and steps closer, his hand huge on your legs as he feels the smoothness of your skin and the frayed hem of your denim shorts. Eddie crowds closer, smelling the sweetness of your perfume as his leg slots between your knees. His eyes flick from looking at your lips to searching your gaze for any hesitation or hint that you’re just fucking with him. He finds none and feels braver than ever.

He dips down, brushing his nose against your cheek and hears your intake of breath, that little gasp he wants to swallow and consume. His lips press a kiss to the corner of your mouth, begging sweetly without a word.

You turn your head just a fraction to close the minute gap, bringing your lips together. With your hand on his neck, you feel his pulse race in time with your own beneath the stroke of your thumb, sliding down the strong tendon to where it meets his shoulder.

Eddie’s lips press and slot with yours, plush and gentle and tasting sweet like Coca-Cola. He kisses you slowly, savouring the feeling of your lips on his. You pull him as close as you can, your warm breaths mingling as he sneaks a look to make sure you’re real.

He is gentle behind the bawdy jokes and leather and silver rings. He’s softer than anyone can see. But you can feel that sweet softness in the way he cups your face before kissing you again. Eddie strokes his tongue against your lower lip to ask for permission he doesn’t need. It makes you shiver as that smooth-talking tongue slides with yours, making you gasp.

Before it can build pressure and turn any steamier, he slows it back down and kisses you in slow pecks again before leaning his forehead against yours. He can’t stop himself from smiling and doesn’t even try to pretend he’s not elated when he feels your shy smile too.

Behind that smile, you’re aching for more. You want to run your fingers up through his curls and tug, be kissed breathless by him. You want a hundred more soft kisses, feel his smile on your mouth. You want to feel him everywhere.

“You okay?” he whispers, and can’t resist pushing another kiss against your cheek before moving back to look at you again.

“More than okay.” You bring your thumb to swipe the lipstick transferred over from your lips to his. You want to see every shade you own smeared around his mouth.

Eddie kisses your thumb, before pretending to nip it to make you laugh. “Are you going to be able to go back to the bar?”

You shake your head, smiling before sighing over-dramatically and fixing a pout on your face. It drives him mad in the best way. “Mm, maybe give me one more for luck?” you whisper.

He puts you out of your misery with one more long lingering kiss. “I’m not done kissing you. At all.” Another peck, because he cannot simply stop himself. “I’ll wait for you after work.”

Your smile is too big to hide, rendered speechless by his confession. So you nod, giving his lower lip one last swipe to remove the evidence before patting his cheek.

Eddie reluctantly backs off for his own good. He had thought about pressing you against the bricks and kissing you stupid too many times to be decent. He still will - it’s at the top of his bucket list - but just not now.

He grabs his drink, downs it, and gives you a wink. “Don’t go sharing that recipe, okay? That’s for me only, sugar.”

“Cross my heart,” you tease, sitting on your hands so you don’t drag him back against you. You think he might just be okay with it if you did.

“Later…” As if he can read your mind, he backs away with absolute mischief in his eyes.

“Later.” You wiggle your fingers at him and laugh when he almost walks ass-first into the stacked crates of empty bottles. He swears at them and flips them off before throwing one last wink your way.

Once you’re sure Eddie has turned the corner of the building you cover your face with your hands and smile into them, murmuring ‘What the fuck, what the fuck’ as your cheeks heat up your palms.

When you have just about gathered yourself, you head back inside and fix your smudged lipstick. You tap Michelle’s hip when you get back, signalling for her to go take her break.

She looks you over, suspicious of where exactly that coy little smile came from. As she throws one last look over her shoulder, she sees Eddie at the open door, looking just as dreamy and pleased with himself.

The rest of your shift passes without incident, which is a miracle because all you have been thinking of is Eddie Eddie Eddie. Eddie’s lips, Eddie’s hands. Eddie’s strong inked arms and his sturdy thighs. His lips (again).

You caught each other’s eye a few times during the night, and it made you feel hot all over. Especially when he was being a total gentleman to some pretty girls, telling them to get home safe. You had felt his dark–chocolate stare on you as you laughed with customers, and shook up cocktails while he watched the strength of your arms and the subtle bounce of your breasts. Knowing Eddie was watching, thinking about how he might kiss you again later, made you slick with desire and excitement.

You ring the bell for last call at 2 a.m. as your feet burn, and arms ache. There’s a flurry of orders while Jeff and Eddie close the doors and stand inside shooting the shit together, bidding customers good night as they leave in pairs and groups. By three it’s kicking out time and the few reluctant stragglers take recommendations for pizza joints and all-night diners to soak up the alcohol. While the bouncers do one last sweep of the place, you work through your checklist with a singular motivator; kissing Eddie Munson.

With anticipation buzzing in your chest, you wipe spills behind the bar, refrigerate the mixers and hand-wash the muddlers and stirrers from the cocktails. The younger guys fill the dishwasher with glasses and barware. You thank your stars that it’s not your night on bathroom duty, refilling the straws instead and making a note for Frank of what’s running low before he does his full inventory and stocktake. It’s a well-oiled machine and your duties are finished in record time...

Eddie made himself useful, staying out of your way (but watching closely, in absolute awe of you) in favour of picking up a broom and keeping the music going to keep morale up. He leans on the clean bar, chin on his hand as he looks at you standing with your hands on your hips. “Wanna get out of here?” he asks, tilting his head toward the back door.

You nod, “Gimme two.” You restrain yourself from running to your locker (a quick walk is sufficient and unsuspicious). You fix your hair, blot your shiny face and spray deodorant and perfume again before opting for cherry flavour Chapstick. Extra lipstick this late? Far too eager.

After a quick round of goodbyes, you notice Eddie and Michelle have both already gone and you rush around to meet him by the door. One taste and you are hooked, needing another kiss like your next breath. When you can’t see him, it’s like your lungs shrink. There’s no lingering scent of his cologne or swirling smoke, no glowing cherry or loud laugh in the back alley…

Breathe. In, out. Calm the anxious flutters. Is he already at his car?

Just as you’re about to round the building, the back door opens and an almost frantic-eyed Eddie nearly catches you with the door... “Hi,” he breathes. Relief. A sigh you both share before the smile, the relief.

“Shit, did I get you?” He puts his hands on your shoulders and squeezes when you shake your head. His hands skate down your arms to squeeze your hands. “Sorry, got distracted inside. Can I... Can I drive you home?”

Your nod is far too eager and you squeeze back, your rings tapping against Eddie’s. You drop each other’s hands but stay close to each other. This is new and unnamed and you don’t want the work crowd throwing questions at you before you have even figured it out yourself.

Your hands and arms bump as you round the building together and for once neither of you know what to say. When you look up, Eddie is already sneaking a glance at you; he smiles when you catch him and you both dissolve into laughter.

“What the fuck, you’re literally never this quiet,” you tease, elbowing him gently. “Say something.”

Eddie takes your hand again, swinging his arm with yours. “You looked hot tonight. Like, hotter than usual.” Eddie licks his lower lip and it makes your stomach flip.

“You think so? It must be the drink I made you. Pretty strong…”

“Maybe. Maybe it’s ‘cause I couldn’t stop thinking about you, how you kiss.” He’s so smooth and it makes you feel warm all over.

Close to his car now, you slow your stroll and lean against the passenger side. “Yeah? Maybe you should kiss me some more then, seeing as you can’t stop thinking about it.”

“Oh, I’m gonna.” He grins and crowds you against the shiny black metal, bracing one hand on the roof as the other loops around your middle to press your body close.

It’s like stars bursting behind your eyes when you feel Eddie’s lips on yours again. This kiss is eager and almost needy after hours of trying and failing to not eye-fuck each other. The hand lying low on your back slips lower and Eddie uses the leverage to step his thigh between yours with a delicious press of pressure. When you gasp he takes the opportunity to dominate the kiss a little more, licks his tongue against yours in a dirty slide.

You haven’t been kissed like this in a long time, all tongue and pulling soft gasps from each other. It has been even longer since you have been heckled while you’re kissing someone; Michelle breaks that streak as she wolf-whistles at you from across the street as she walks to her own car.

“Get a room!” You don’t see her grin and salute as you laugh into Eddie’s chest, hugging your arms around him beneath his jacket. He kisses your forehead and holds you after flipping Michelle off with a rosy-cheeked smirk.

“She made me late, by the way. Gave me the talk in the office.”

You rest your chin on his chest, pulling your eyebrows together. “The birds and the bees? Where do babies come from?” You laugh when he pokes your ribs and holds your squirming body closer still.

“Ha ha, jokes on you. That’s next week.”

You muffle your laugh against his black t-shirt.

“No, just that I better treat you good and not fuck around. Don’t want work to be awkward, blah blah.” Eddie squeezes your hips. “She also said ‘It’s about damn time’.”

You nod slowly, remembering her quips over the last few months about how you two should just shut up and get over yourselves, bang it out or something. It seemed like it was obvious to everyone but you and Eddie just what was going on behind your little frenemy routine.

“Well then…” you say quietly.

“Well then indeed…” Eddie echoes.

There’s a lot for you to figure out. You can’t just kiss your co-worker and expect everything to stay the same, but inside you think that maybe you don’t want that and Eddie doesn’t either. That’s something you both need to figure out, but right now you just might die if you don’t kiss him again soon.

“Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I come to your place?” you ask quietly.

Eddie nods, eyes sparkling. “Yeah. Yeah, fuck. I’d like that a lot. Are you sure you want to? We don’t have to...”

You rock up on your toes to kiss him again. “I want to. Let’s just... See where it goes?”

A little breathless, Eddie nods and roots for his car keys to unlock the door. He pecks your lips again before you both get into the car. This time he keeps his hand on your knee while he drives through the dark streets, only moving it to change gears. You keep it there, smoothing over the rings he wears with your fingers.

You recognise Eddie’s street - there’s the bagel place you go to, the camera store where you get film developed. You can’t believe he’s been this near all along.

He swings the car into a little parking garage under the building and takes the spot reserved for apartment 8. You twist in your seat to face him and see he looks a little lost in thought. “I can go home if you prefer?” you say.

“No no. Please, don’t. I’m just.. thinkin’ about how messy my room might be.” He twists one of his rings and you cover his hand again to stop the anxious little movement you recognised from your own fidgeting.

“I don’t mind. Being nocturnal can be pretty shitty for keeping your place clean,” you say.

Eddie nods, shoulders deflating now that he’s less worried you’re going to think he’s a total animal.

You pull his hand back over to your lap, fingers intertwined. “Anyway, I’m not here to snoop at your stuff, Eddie.” You shrug a little, hiding your smile as he thumps his head against the seat.

“You’re going to be the death of me, I know it.”

“You should be so lucky.”

Your lips meet again halfway across the centre console, smiling mouths and ringed fingers grasping at each other, wherever you can reach. A rogue elbow hits the horn, making both of you jump - Eddie yelps - then dissolve into a fit of giggles which Eddie gladly smothers with one more kiss.

“Lemme get your door, princess,” he says, lips brushing your chin and cheek one more time before freeing you from his hold to hop out and round the bonnet. You could get used to this…

There are more kisses in the small shaky elevator, crowded to the mirrored wall as Eddie’s lips get acquainted with your jaw and neck, finding that spot below your ear that makes you moan his name quietly, tug him closer by his belt loops.

You drive him crazy in the best way, he makes you feel wanted - perhaps craved is more apt - as his hands run over the flare of your hips and dip to your behind.

The elevator stops, dings, and you drag Eddie’s mouth to your own again to taste his tongue before he takes your hand and does his best not to drag you to the door marked with a brassy 8.

“Shit,” he mutters, fighting with his keys to find the right one as you slip a hand up the side of his t-shirt, feeling the trail of hair below his navel to scratch through.

“You’re a demon. An actual devil woman,” he hisses, resting his forehead against the door as he lets you distract him for a second. Before you can tease him anymore, Eddie turns and takes your face gently in one hand. “You actually want to come in or am I going to need to put you over my shoulder and bring you back to the car?”

His eyes are burning with want, lips pink and puffy from your kisses. He watches your pupils blow wide and sees the gulp in your throat.

“You gonna behave?”

All you can do is nod, brain static with want, accept a kiss on the pout he’s placed on your lips, and try not to swoon or combust on the spot while he wins his battle with lock and key.

Eddie flicks the light on inside and throws his keys in a saucer sitting on a little table inside the door. There’s a short hallway with a fairly full junk closet before you step into the apartment proper. You told him you weren’t here to snoop, but the urge to look around and soak in all you can about Eddie Munson is too good to pass.

A typical boy's apartment really - an open plan kitchen/living room with a second-hand sofa and mismatched chair, a coffee table cluttered with an empty mug and a full ashtray, a fresh pack of cigarettes and a forgotten Coke can. There are some amps stacked in a corner, framed posters yet to be hung as they prop against the wall. It’s kind of exactly what you expected.

Eddie twists a piece of hair around his finger, watching you look around. “Can I get you a water…?” he suggests, “Hungry?”

“Mind if I use your phone? I want to leave a message on my voicemail so my flatmate doesn’t think I died or got in another bar fight.” Sense prevails over your desire to get your fingers back under his shirt, find out what other ink he has hidden beneath.

“Sure, good idea.” Eddie points to the phone on the wall by the little breakfast bar. You notice a Garfield mug which makes you smile a little. “Back in a sec.”

While you’re leaving a message on your answer phone, Eddie stuffs dirty and clean laundry into some approximation of where they should be. He fixes the blanket and duvet on his bed - thankfully freshly changed - and strums his Sweetheart before hearing you hang up the phone. He takes a peek in the mirror after removing his jacket, shakes out his curls and gives his arms a quick flex before telling himself he’s an idiot - being friends with Steve Harrington has definitely altered his brain chemistry in some sort of way.

Meanwhile, you have already given your own armpit a sniff and fixed your hair in the reflection of Eddie’s microwave before you hear his boots on the wood floor again.

“Did you get prettier while I was..?” he looks between you and his left-ajar door glowing with the bedside lamp he had left on.

You roll your eyes at him before following him to sit on the sofa, leaving your bag and jacket on the well-worn cushion of the armchair next to it. He flicks some music on low and relaxes back into the cushions, watching you decide where to put yourself.

“Any time you want to go, just say. I’ll drive you home,” he says quietly. You can feel the warmth of his arm where it stretches across the back of the sofa.

Scooting closer, you turn your body to face him a little more. “Thank you. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be, Ed. Promise.”

He nods and welcomes you back under his arm, pressing his lips to your head while one big hand squeezes the top of your arm. “You smoke?” he asks, nodding to a little box like the lockbox you have for petty cash at work. When he flicks it open, you see some pre-rolled joints, papers and a bag of green.

“Oh shit, you’ve been holding out on me, Munson,” you tease, poking his ribs before he sits back next to you with a joint and his Bic lighter.

Eddie flashes his brows upward as he sticks it between his lips to light up. “Something something… Not mixing business and pleasure?” he says, muffled by the joint. He takes a hit before offering it to you, fingers brushing as you raise your brows in turn.

“Oh yeah? I think we’re doing plenty of that tonight.” You take a drag with a smiling mouth as Eddie’s eyes darken and flash mischief again.

“Yeah, think so. Been thinking about it a lot longer than I’ll ever admit though,” he says, watching how your breath catches and you cough a little. He tuts playfully, “Am I going to need to show you how, or are you pretending so I’ll shotgun you?”

You fan your hand in front of your face to give yourself some air before flipping him off. “Be nice, s’been a while.” You tap your fingers against his knee. “Wait, go back. How long have you been pining over me?” You’re more careful when you take your next hit, raising your brows expectantly at Eddie.

Eddie rolls his eyes as he takes the joint back; after another hit, he taps the ash off the end. “Not your business.”

“Absolutely my business. Go on. Was it when I wore that little dress to the Christmas party? Oh no, I bet it was when I spilt that pitcher of beer on my stupid white shirt… Fuck, I forgot that.”

Eddie remembers both vividly (especially the little dress) but no, it was way before either of those incidents. “You going to keep annoying me ‘til I tell you?”

“Yep.” You grin and watch him take a long slow hit. His lips wrap around the end and his cheeks hollow, showing off those sharp cheekbones. “Tell me,” you sing.

He holds the smoke in before sighing it out with his head back against the sofa to look at the ceiling. His head turns to look at you instead. “Maybe like… the first shift we worked together? Maybe the second, either way, you were shaking up spicy margaritas or somethin’, had this little smirk on your face. Then later you asked me for a cigarette and the rest is history…”

Your cheeks heat at his confession and Eddie’s do the same. He’s embarrassed and you feel like an idiot for letting your hang-ups get in the way of really seeing Eddie and giving him a chance.

“Jesus, Ed.” You squeeze his arm, just below the flurry of bats tattooed there.

His arm sizzles where you touch him - well, that’s how it feels to Eddie anyway. “We got a good thing going though, I mean I really do enjoy it. Making you huff at me and roll your eyes. Fuck.” His smile is cheeky, a little dirty as he licks his lower lip.

You laugh together and let him bring the joint to your mouth. Your eyes slip closed as you inhale before opening again to see Eddie watching you. It reignites the spark low in your gut as you begin to feel nice and fuzzy around the edges.

Eddie takes one last hit before saving the rest, stubbing the joint in the ashtray on the arm of the sofa. His eyes don’t stray from yours as you crawl into his lap.

You twist one of his curls around your fingers; his hair is soft and the curls springy. “Guess it was like…perverse flirting or really long foreplay?”

“Mm, hot.” He squeezes your thigh. “I’m good with both of those. That is if you let me take you out. A real date.”

You pretend to consider it, though you are already in his lap, in his home, ready to give him anything he asks for. “Yeah, I’d like that. Last night was real nice, just talking with you. Just… get me some flowers instead of punching a guy next time?”

He copies your faux-consideration and nods, “Deal.”

Said deal is sealed with a kiss; this one is sweet and warm, soft even. You both know you are skipping ahead of your date, but as you smile against each other’s mouths, Eddie thinks he might just keep you in his lap forever if you let him.

Your lips press and slide, tongues tangle and tease as the intensity simmers to a boil again. His hands roam up your thighs and around to grasp two handfuls of you, pulling you close as you press yourself against him. You can feel the hot breaths through his nose against your cheek, and Eddie wants to groan at the feeling of your breasts pushed up against him. Your bravery builds in tandem with how much you want and need him and you start up a slow roll of your hips.

Eddie swears against your mouth, “Shit, you feel good.” He squeezes his hands and pushes his own hips up, letting you feel how thick and hard he is for you.

Your whimper makes him crazy-mad with lust, Eddie’s lips feeling the vibration as he kisses your throat and finds that spot on your neck again. He wants to mark it, hear what noise that would pull from your pretty, kiss-bitten mouth. From the corner of his eye, he sees the flutter of your lashes, the way your mouth drops open. He thinks you are so pretty and it makes the ache in his chest pulse like a bruise.

You direct him back to your lips with a gentle tug, opening your eyes before you press a kiss to his lower lip before leaning back enough to untuck and pull off your t-shirt. Eddie’s jaw twitches as he feasts his eyes on the black lace cups you fill out so perfectly, the glint of your necklace beneath the hollow of your throat.

He moves both hands back to your waist where the denim cuts in, fingertips skating the bare skin above. “Can I?” he asks, looking up to your eyes.

Instead of answering, you cover both hands with your much smaller ones, guiding them upward until you feel the warmth of his hands cover and cup the weight.

“You’re gorgeous,” Eddie whispers, looking at your face again as his thumbs seek and stroke the pebbled nipples beneath.

Eddie had never been subtle when he checked you out at work; he made playful and bawdy comments his cover story to get away with letting his eyes linger a little too long on your chest. You let him away with it every time, knowing you would get him riled up another way later that shift or on the next one.

When you look down, the sight and feel of his guitar-scarred hands on your chest make you bite your lip hard. Your palms skate over the gooseflesh of Eddie’s arms, over the bulk of his biceps and shoulders as he learns how to make you keen for him with just his hands on your breasts. You pull him in for another filthy kiss and blindly glide your fingers down his chest to the top of his trousers. You have already felt how hard he is under the roll and grind of your hips, but it’s not enough. Eddie deserves to be touched and tasted after all this time, pining over you. Not because you pity him, you want to make up for lost time.

His hips press upward, seeking out your touch; you adjust yourself to straddle one of his thighs and flip the hem of his t-shirt up to get at the button and zip. Your eyes are fixed on the hard line of him pushing up against the fabric; your fingers brush over it before undoing the fastenings, making his breath catch in his throat.

“I want you so bad,” he murmurs, tilting his head up to kiss your jaw again. That makes you pulse right between your legs; you relish the firmness of his thigh pressing against you there as he kisses his way back to your lips. You pull away only to push the black work pants and tartan cotton boxers down enough to get at him, to see him.

Eddie watches your eyes flash when you see the thick length of him, brushing your fingertips up and down to watch it kick with arousal. You nuzzle against his cheek as you take him in your hand, telling him how big and pretty his dick is before beginning to stroke him. In your mind, you’re thinking about how he will feel inside you and in your mouth, but you try to focus on kissing his neck and learning how he likes to be touched. He’s rock hard and weeping at the tip, it makes your mouth water.

“You think about me when you do this for yourself?” you ask, pausing to lick your hand before grasping him again. The tinge of salt on your tongue makes you want more.

Eddie nods, eyebrows pinching together. “Fuck, I do. Tried not to, but I can’t help it.”

That makes you feel hot all over and you rock yourself against his thigh to relieve the pulsing between your legs. “M’here now, don’t need to pretend anymore, Eddie.” Your lips brush his jaw and the way he moans, the way he pulses with arousal in your hand, it makes you giggle.

“You’re literally gonna kill me,” he groans and rests his forehead against yours, eyes squeezed shut.

“I’m not. Promise. Just want you to feel good,” you say, and kiss him again when your hand picks up the pace.

Eddie’s hips rock upward into your fist. His hand stills your arm and he has to take a few breaths before looking at you - his chocolate-button eyes are consumed by dilated pupils. “This’ll be over real fast if you keep that up, baby. You’ll never let me live that down.”

His head dips to kiss across the tops of your breasts before running his nose up along your throat. His head tilts toward his room. “Can we? Been thinking about you in my bed.”

You nod, keep cool even though the butterflies in your stomach are back with a flurry of vengeance. Eddie grins, which sets you off too, and you tuck him back into his boxers before moving to let him stand.

He offers you a hand and twirls you once. “Hold on. Let me just..”

Eddie pauses, looks you up and down and you know he’s up to no good. Before you can figure him out he has you over his shoulder with a surprising show of strength. You squeal-laugh, slapping your hand on the back of his thigh. “EDDIE!”

His laugh is throaty and rough - like an honest-to-god gremlin - and he just about manages to keep his pants up as he carries you to his room. “You seemed to like the idea of that earlier, what you complainin’ about, baby?”

You can only laugh in response until you’re deposited onto his bed with more care and gentleness than anticipated. You lay back to catch your breath, cheeks warm and aching as you grin up at Eddie. You’re certainly not unimpressed by his ability to fireman-lift and carry you. He kneels to untie your boot-laces, then his own. You sit up and pop the button on your shorts before Eddie takes over, removing them along with your shoes to leave you in your only slightly mismatched underwear and bra - they’re both black, and Eddie doesn’t notice or care. All he sees is you, in his bed.

His t-shirt and pants are left in a heap with your clothes and in a moment he is with you, laying you back to kiss you everywhere. His hands and lips map your body, kissing freckles and stretchmarks, nuzzling the red mark your bra left around your middle when it’s removed and lost to the floor. He notes the ticklish spots on your ribs, saves them for later, and lavishes kisses on your bare breasts.

As Eddie lays his body between your spread legs, you wish you had longer to see the new ink revealed to you but take the chance to stroke his hair like you have been wanting to. He practically purrs and chases the relaxing motion, leaning against your hand when he breaks his trail of kisses to the band of your underwear. The light is too dim to see how soaked they are, a darker shade of black between your legs caused by him, but Eddie knows it’s there and teases his fingers over the damp heat. He smiles when your hips jump up at the friction.

His chin rests on your hip bone while he looks up. “This okay?” he checks, dipping his fingertips up past the elastic around the top of your thigh. He goes no further until you nod, breathe out ‘yes, please’.

You get the feeling that if Eddie was still wearing pants, your undies would go right in his back pocket. The thought of that alone makes you throb as Eddie looks at the feast in front of his eyes.

“Oh she’s pretty,” he murmurs, biting his lip. “And so wet f’me…”

You gasp when he finally touches you, stroking his finger down the seam of you. He swears and shifts his hips against the bed when he feels your wetness and watches his finger come away shiny.

He pushes one kiss below your belly button before getting comfy, manoeuvring one leg over his shoulder with his arm around for good measure. His curls tickle against your leg but all you can focus on is how his tongue strokes and licks, how his lips suck and press.

His name bounces off the poster-clad walls, your voice gaspy and ragged when his tongue circles your clit before pushing its way inside you to seek out your soak.

“So sweet, I knew you would be.” His voice is a murmur against your cunt, there and gone again as he seals his lips around your clit.

“Fuhhh- Eddie.”

One hand balled in the duvet, the other a crown atop his dark curls as you shift your hips and help him find the angle that is just right. He is rewarded with a scalp-burning tug and a guttural moan you can’t even begin to be embarrassed by as he feasts on you like a starved man.

His fingers squish your doughy thigh before he slows to a pause - it’s brief and yet you whine in complaint. You feel his breathy laugh against your folds, his murmured ‘easy, baby’. Eddie stopped only to remove the rings on his right hand so that he could push one, then two, deep inside seeking out your g-spot before you can comprehend that his rings are on your fingers for safekeeping.

His eyes are fixed on you; your heaving chest and breasts, the blissed-out expression on your face. He knows when he has found it, feeling you gush in time with a wet, wobbly moan of his name and the pained-by-pleasure look that graces your pretty face.

“That’s it, huh? Good girl,” he murmurs. He earns another loud moan as you arch your back to chase absolute bliss.

Eddie’s hips roll against the mattress - if you had the brain capacity to notice you would surely die on the spot. Your heart already feels like it is about to leap from your chest, blood pounding in your ears as he keeps up the pace and pressure. He can hear and feel how close you are as your voice gets higher, begging brokenly ‘yes, yes! Eddieeee!’ when you free fall over the edge.

Your body goes tense and then boneless as he works you through it, not letting up until you nudge his head with your thigh. “Too mm-much,” you slur, hips twitching. Eddie presses gentle kisses and murmurs words of praise against your sensitive sex; he leans into how you stroke his head while you come back to the land of the living.

“Y’okay?” he asks, smiling up at you with shiny lips. He eases his fingers out, marvels at just how soaked they are in the golden glow of the bedside light before kneeling up and licking them clean. “Knew you’d be sweet, sugar.” He winks and you curl in on yourself as you shake with laughter.

“You’re a menace, Munson. Remind me how you've been single all this time when you can do that?”

You take his hand, pulling him down so he is lying on top of you. He’s hard against your hip, but isn’t pushy with getting you to do something about it as he lies with you, holding you as you bask in the afterglow.

“Guess I had this really big weird crush on a pretty girl, got me in a dry spell,” he teased. He smacks a smooch to your cheek and makes a pleased little noise when you pull him in for a proper kiss, taking your cheek in his ring-less hand.

You let yourself feel a little smug as you drag your fingertips up his back, swirling and stroking until they brush the band of his boxers. “Do you have condoms?” you whisper against his lips, hoping that the dry spell won't ruin your plans.

Eddie nods and peels himself away to kneel up and reach over to his messy bedside table, digging an almost full box from the top drawer. He squints at the date and takes one from the packet with a pleased grin, “We’re in luck.”

You reach out to palm him through the straining cotton, feeling the growing damp spot and smiling up at him as his tongue darts out to lick his lower lip. You sit up, pushing his boxers down with both hands. They join the rest of the forgotten clothes on the floor while you get your hands back on Eddie’s body. You see more ink usually hidden beneath his clothes; you want to look at each tattoo, study it and ask him what it means, listen to him tell you more stories and secrets. But there’s plenty of time for that.

Eddie smiles against your mouth when you wrap your fingers around him again, chancing a glance to watch your hand - your hand heavy with his rings - stroking him. His hips jerk almost of their own volition; his brain has most certainly gone static. “Jesus, fuck,” he murmurs.

You catch on a moment later and giggle against his shoulder. “That got you going, huh? Me wearing your rings…”

“You get me going. That’s just extra hot.” His voice catches when you squeeze him again, and he calls you a devil woman one more time. You’re getting used to it, kinda like it.

The foil packet crinkles under Eddie’s knee. You push his chest gently, sending him to sit up against the headboard so you can make his lap your throne again. Without hesitation, you tear the foil and roll the latex down over the diamond-hard length that’s weeping for you to sit on it. He steadies your hips as you hold the base of him, sinking down through the stretch and pinch eased only by how soaked you still are.

It’s intense, the burn and the closeness. Eddie’s forehead against yours as you watch him watching you take him inside. The lingering tendrils of the weed you smoked together make it all so deliciously fuzzy and warm. Neither of you makes a move, settling into the tight heat and fullness of Eddie inside you.

His fingers stroke your hips while yours twirl the ends of his hair, touch his silver chain and brush up his neck so that you can cup his jaw and kiss him again. You hold on to each other tighter as you begin to raise and roll your hips, savouring the stretch until your body tells you to move faster, harder.

“Look how pretty you are,” Eddie murmurs, taking in the bounce of your breasts and the way your jaw hangs open as you move in his lap. “Yeah, that’s my girl. Are you my girl, baby?”

You whimper, holding him tighter and closer as you nod. “I’m yours, Eddie. All yours.” Your voice wobbles but not because you’re unsure, you’re just feeling so good, so full.

Eddie groans deep in his throat, squeezing your hips and ass tighter as he helps you to bounce. You pause, focusing on rolling rather than rising to ease the burn in your wobbly thighs; it makes you whimper against his neck. It’s so much but not enough; so good, it’s frustrating.

“Shhh, I got you. You’re just feelin’ too good, huh?” he murmurs, nodding with you when you give a small ‘uh huh’. “Yeah, good girl.”

Your brows crease as you keep rutting your hips. “You feel so big. Fuck, Ed…”

“You gonna let me do the hard work, hmm? You just lay back and look pretty for me, princess.” His voice is like hot honey, making you drip in his lap. He feels you pulsing, making his hold on your hip tight enough to leave a bruise as he gathers his composure. He’s wanted this so bad for so long, refuses to let himself (and you) down by busting early like a teenager.

You nod, blissed out as he runs his hands over your warm body. Eddie is careful, so gentle, as he helps you to move up and off of him. He guides you to lay back, comfy on the pillows that smell just like him. You can’t resist nuzzling into them as he makes his way back between your legs.

“Comfy?” he asks, palming your thigh as you hook your legs over his hips. He watches your eyes, sees that you are a little more with it now, with him. He can’t wait to see you dreamy-eyed and blissed out beneath him.

You nod and squeeze his hips. “Very comfy.” He sees how your lips pout, asking for a kiss without words.

As if he could say no, refuse you the very thing he himself is craving.

Eddie leans forward, arms braced on either side of your head and presses his lips to your cheeks, nose and forehead. He laughs quietly when you scowl all mean before you soften at the brushed blessing of his lips against yours.

He reaches down and takes himself in hand, stroking a few times before rubbing the tip against your cunt. He imagines how this would feel without the condom, feels the hot winding pull in his abdomen at the thought before your voice brings him back. He smiles and nudges his nose against yours, mirroring the rub down below.

“Please,” you whisper, lips catching Eddie’s. “Fuck me.”

The eye contact is almost too much, a burning intensity, but you feel hypnotised to keep your eyes on him as he pushes inside.

You squeeze your lips together, feeling that stretch again, and watch how Eddie’s brows pinch.

“You feel unreal, baby.”

He rolls his hips and pushes the rest of the way in. Lashes flutter and your jaw drops open. He feels so deep, it’s like he’s all the way in your chest.

After a moment he begins to thrust slowly, dragging himself halfway out before pushing all the way in again and again and again. Eddie drinks in the little whines and moans that spill from your lips.

“Don’t go shy on me now,” he whispers, brushing your hair back. When his hips rock again you feel him press against that spot that makes you see stars and there is no way you can keep quiet.

“There we go, is that it?” Eddie asks, repeating the motion. Your back arches and he hikes your leg higher, almost folding you in half as his thrusts get harder, faster.

You can feel tears pricking your eyes, feeling almost overwhelmed with pleasure. Through the sting, you see Eddie’s clenched jaw, the meaty cord in his neck straining and the rosy glow on his cheeks.

“Eddie, m’so close,” you whimper, almost tearful as you squeeze his forearm.

“I know, sweetheart. I can feel it. Fuck.” He huffs through his nose when you flutter around him and he leans over you more, spreading you wider still as he begins to pound his hips into you. He is barely holding on, feeling hot all over as he fucks you, wishes it could last longer but you’re both so tightly wound.

There’s a perfect press and drag against your clit that winds that cord of pleasure inside you tighter and tighter. Your mouths press together; barely a kiss, more a shared moan. One particularly hard thrust brings you to your climax with a broken moan against Eddie’s chin. Your nails press into his rear and pull him in to rut against that spot, fucking you through the most intense orgasm of your life as he meets his own peak with a husky throaty groan.

You feel like you're floating, fallen over the edge in each other's arms.

The weight of Eddie on you brings you slowly back to earth, breath huffing against your neck as you stroke up his back and up into his curls. You take a deep breath in; when you exhale it's shaky and wobbly almost like a quiet sob.

Eddie summons the strength to press up and look at you, seeing your dazed smile and warm wet cheeks. “Hey,” he wipes the tears gently, “Oh shit. Did I hurt you?” he asks, panic spiking the glowy daze.

You shake your head, almost giggling when you speak. “No, no. Fuckin’... amazing.” You pull Eddie back down and wrap yourself around him, holding each other as you come back to earth. A few more tears escape and Eddie wipes them away with such reverence. You stay quiet until you can string a sentence together. “That was incredible.”

He smiles, cupping your face, and kisses you before carefully rolling you onto your sides to face each other to run your fingers over each other's warm bodies and share more kisses. Once he is sure you’re actually okay, he excuses himself to throw the condom away and returns with water and a damp flannel. He spends a moment cleaning you up as you gulp the water down, then finishes the rest and fills it again before closing his bedroom door.

“You want a t-shirt?” he asks, pulling on a pair of clean boxers before throwing his hair into a low bun.

Despite the blanket, you feel a little shivery and accept the offer.

He helps you into a well-loved Dio t-shirt before pulling the duvet over you both. Your legs are tangled together as you lie together, as close as you can. Outside, past the closed curtains, the sun is already starting to peek on the horizon.

You hum tiredly against Eddie’s shoulder when you remember the weighty silver on your hand and tap his hip gently. “Hey, Romeo. Your rings.” Your hand comes up in front of his face, wiggling your fingers.

Eddie smiles, a lazy curl of his lips, and kisses the tips of your fingers before taking them off for you. He reaches back to drop them on his bedside table.

You want to stay awake, stay in the bubble of bliss, but the pull of exhaustion is too strong.

“Sleepy?” Eddie brushes a kiss on your forehead and flicks the lamp off when you nod.

“Eddie? Tonight was amazing,” you whisper against his chest.

He smiles in the dark, squeezes your hip. “Yeah, it was. I’ll make tomorrow amazing too if you’ll let me, but you gotta sleep first. Bet you’re really grumpy when you’re tired.”

“Shut up,” you laugh, hiding your face in the pillow. In the dark, you can just see the outlines of each other, shapes and shadows. “Lemme sleep and you can take me for breakfast. Like a date or somethin’.”

He hides his grin poorly, you can see his teeth flash even with your eyes almost closed. “Nah, breakfast is part of the package. Lemme plan something for our date.” He gives you one last kiss, “Sleep now, sugar.”

You feel warm, so happy and safe in his arms as you fall asleep. If Eddie asked, you would never leave his arms, leave his bed. And Eddie? Eddie lingers on the precipice of sleep, ready to drift once he knows you’re sleeping soundly. He kisses your forehead one last time before closing his eyes, both holding each other in an utterly blissful sleep.

Thank you for reading! Likes, reblogs and comments are absolutely adored and cherished ❤️

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junislqve · 5 days

Text

ᯓ 50 first dates — heeseung

“cursed with the gift of memories”

syn well-known for his charm and charisma, lee heeseung’s name travels through well with tourists. giving them the best dates and nights of their life. heeseung’s strictly only into one nights stands, running away from commitment even before it was there to chase him. however, his life changed completely when his eyes fell upon a woman. a woman who he knows he could never get. but that has never stopped him, hasn’t it?

feat. hyung line yeji (itzy) hyunjin (skz) | wc 5901 words

pairs fuckboy!heeseung + reader | cw s2l one sided pining? fuckboy turned sweet angst fluff smoking drinking mentions of hook ups mentions of an accident memory loss profanity — mlist navi

note entry for @cupidhoons ’s 1k event >< i tweaked a few things here and there, but i hope you all enjoy it nonetheless

“he’s incredible” she says, grabbing her mojito from the bartender. looking back to her friend, “he’s got these eyes that just hold a mischievous look, you know?”

“so? what else happened that night?” another guy asked his friend as she was running on the treadmill.

“we had dinner at this small restaurant and we talked about our lives. it was just like a movie” a woman said as she recalled the night, chatting off while writing her thesis.

“was that all?” a girl’s sister asks while both of them were getting ready for a party.

“we had the best night, he’s so sweet and caring and everything i ever want in a man” a woman said to the worker who was massaging her.

“did you get his number?” her friend asked while handing her a cup of coffee.

“thats the thing” she said, eating lunch at a restaurant. “when i asked for his number he told me he had a girlfriend”

“what’s his name?” her manager asks handing her the new papers.

“lee heeseung”

all over, dozens of women have the same story to tell of the same man. lee heeseung. his charm goes around that has tons of tourists falling head over heels for him.

although really, the charm only consists of the same things with each women; talking to them at whatever place he lands in, telling them about his life stories he’s crafted perfectly, and in the end giving them a good night.

he really had no problem with this routine, figuring they’d all leave soon anyway. dismissing any of their attempts to stay in contact with him by making up on the spot excuses.

“seung” jake exasperates, calling him for the nth time. “you in or not?”

puffing out the smoke, he hummed agreeing to whatever they were talking about.

“we’re diving tomorrow, be at the docks at 5 AM” jay says, grabbing the cigarette pack and throwing it on to the table. “sharp.”

“can’t, i have to take care of the dolphins” heeseung sighs.

“can’t you tell your cousin to do it?” sunghoon asks, taking a swig of the whiskey.

“haven’t you seen him?” he says, referring to his coward of a cousin. as the four continue to talk around the slowly dissipating fire.

heeseung woke up the next day tending to his dolphins. feeding them food and watching them as they swim and did tricks. he sat on the docks, letting his feet hang over the edge, patting the dolphins every once in a while if they snuggled his legs.

he got up about half an hour later and headed to one of the local diners in town. a small, dingy house close to where he works. he sat on the bar stool and a girl who looked around his age took the order.

“i’ll just have coffee, thanks”

“seriously? you look like you’d get blown off by the wind” the girl says, “i’ll fix you up a sandwich”

heeseung smiled profusely, confused whether he should be offended or grateful. he skims through the men looking over the unique variety of choices, when the reflection of the sun seems to be hitting him. he looked up to the direction with squinted eyes and he was so glad the sun shined perfectly at him.

to say he was captivated was an understatement. your hair sat down perfectly on your back as you smiled at the menu like it was an interesting book. you set down the spoon you were playing with and the barista walked up to you to take your order.

heeseung’s eyes never left you, entirely too enthralled just by your presence. he decides to make a move, getting up from his spot and sitting across from your seat that’s conveniently vacant. he watched as the barista placed your plate of pancakes in front of you.

“thanks, yeji” you smiled up at her. he can’t tell which was more angelic; your voice or your smile.

you picked up your pancakes and started stacking them, heeseung watched with curiosity. you started off making a mini volcano as the steam from the heat drove up. minutes later, when heeseung’s eyes left you for a while, your volcano had transformed to a house. you continued stacking the bread carefully.

picking up a small piece, you intended for it to be the door to the supposed house. when suddenly, a toothpick drove through them from the top.

“it creates a hinge” someone says. you look up, which appeared to be a wrong move because the man that stood in front of you might’ve just been carved by the gods.

his hair roused messily atop his head and a grin that you swore had your heart clenched. you momentarily freeze up, scanning over your words for a decent reply.

“oh, thanks” you trail off, showing a small smile.

heeseung was about to sit back down at his spot until you braved yourself.

“hey” you pause awkwardly as he turns back to you “i see you’re alone as well, why don’t you sit with me”

heeseung’s grin doubled and he sat down across from you. from then on, heeseung didn’t know what he got himself into all he knows is that your voice was addicting and your smile held the world.

you both had a long conversation about your lives. he told you about his work in wildlife as a marine veterinarian, tending to the dolphins mostly. and you told him about your work as an art teacher in a school nearby.

you listened intently, thoroughly interested in his job, “my dad works as a fisherman”

“oh really? so you know how to fish” heeseung perked up.

“no, i’ve never really been interested in it” you replied, “but i’m used to the smell of the sea, you reek of it”

heeseung scoffed playfully, “i know, i just went back from feeding the dolphins. probably should have cleaned myself up before”

“no!” you exclaimed trying to fix your tone, “i didn’t mean it in a bad way. you smell nice, like the scent of the sea, it’s kind of nostalgic”

“really?” heeseung looks at you, eyes widened in that adorable way. god, he looks so good. you nodded with a smile that stretched perfectly on your lips. “you should come and meet the dolphins some time”

your eyes lit up, “oh i would love to, how many do you tend to?”

before heeseung could answer, yeji stopped him by telling you both off as they’d have to pack up for lunch.

you both walked out of the diner leisurely when heeseung turned to you, “hey, do you want to continue this somewhere else? i have a nice place we can go to”

“oh” you let out, whilst scrunching your face “i'm so sorry but today’s my dad’s birthday and we usually drive out to the field. it’s our tradition”

“well then how about next time?” he asked, tilting his head.

“how about tomorrow? meet me here for breakfast?” you offered.

“tomorrow then”

rain poured teardrops in a continuous rythmn, the wind blowing harshly. a figure disrupted the pattern as heeseung went in the diner and dropped himself on the bar stool, greeting yeji. and waving at the guy in the back, who’s face always looked sour whenever he looked at heeseung.

“the bar’s closed” hyunjin, who he now knows as yeji’s brother said blatantly. heeseung shrugged at the customer that was sitting on one of the sofas and shined a sly grin at him, receiving an eye roll back.

the door opened once more and you walked in, heeseung watched as you sat down and dropped your jacket beside you.

he stood up and walked to your seat, “hey pretty, missed me yet?”

you looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, “no?” you said, before going back to read the menu.

heeseung stared at you dumbfounded, “hey, are you okay? you said you wanted to meet up again yesterday”

“yesterday? i’ve never even met you” you scrunched your nose as heeseung stood still in confusion, his mind reeling.

in a spur, heeseung got dragged by his collar and out of the diner. the door behind him slammed shut, he turned to see yeji stared at him menacingly.

“what’s wrong? why’s she..” he trailed off.

yeji clicked her tongue, sighing, “she isn’t what you think she is” heeseung waited, breathing heavily, the humid air made it difficult to breathe.

“about a year ago, y/n got into a terrible car accident. she and her father went up North Shore to grab fruits as tradition” yeji continued, “her father broke some ribs, but she had a serious head injury”

yeji looked away and stared off into the rain “she’s suffering short-term memory loss” yeji concluded. heeseung apparently had a hard time understanding all of this, none of the information thrown at him clicking right yet.

“wait, so she can’t remember anything?”

“no you dumbass, she remembers everything up until the night before the accident”

both of them stayed silent.

“so what? she thinks everyday is the day of her dad’s birthday?”

“exactly” yeji states, “she wakes up everyday thinking it’s the same day, her father’s provided her with a special paper that he’s printed over a hundred times for her to read”

“he’s been keeping her in the dark?”

“it’s not like that. she’s been through a lot already and her father doesn’t want her to suffer anymore” yeji scolds. “so if you don’t mind, i need you to stop bothering her. find another person to bother”

“how long’s it gonna take for her to gain back her memory?” jake asks, laying on his back staring up at the night sky.

“her doctors say it may never come back” heeseung says, throwing in food for the dolphins.

“so, basically” jake starts looking down at his friend, “she’s perfect for you”

“what?”

“you’ve never been into commitment” jake shrugs, “there’s practically no attachment there”

heeseung stays silent. jake raised his eyebrows, “don’t tell me you’re falling for her”

he slapped his friend’s leg, “i’m not” he says, “it’s just evil”

“you meet her, hang out, flirt, no commitment, nobody gets hurt”

“she has brain damage, you douche”

“you sure that’s the only reason?”

once again, heeseung stays silent. he can’t lie. he knows that he felt, if anything, the tiniest bit of care for you. spending too much time awake thinking about you more than he should’ve.

“i mean, either way, i think this’ll be good for you” jake starts, his eyes scanned the stars one by one, “you haven’t really let yourself connect with a girl”

“oh so now you care?” heeseung asks, rather jokingly.

“i want the best for you, seung. you’re leaving soon for university, the choice is really yours in the end” jake says, finally sitting up and looking at his friend with sincerity.

“thanks” hee mumbled as jake stood up to get off the ship, patting him on the back while doing so.

“you should get some sleep, you’d need energy to get her back”

heeseung stared at the back of jake’s retreating figure. they’ve been friends for years now, being the closest out of the four. always being a helping hand for the other whenever any of them were in need.

“you again?” hyunjin rolled his eyes about to grab a stick.

“relax, i just want to say hi to her” heeseung says, holding a hand out in defence.

“what did yeji say?”

“that you’d kill me with an axe” heeseung trailed off. “but, hey, look i really just want to talk to her again”

“she doesn’t want guys hitting on her during breakfast” hyunjin said, plainly.

“want to bet on that? 20 bucks” apparently the world was on his favor when hyunjin decides to shake his hand.

“deal”

heeseung spots you on your usual seat, building a house out of your pancakes. he decides its better to play safe, picking up a toothpick, walking to your seat.

“it acts as a hinge” he says, smiling.

“are you from a country where you think it’s okay to stick your fingers all over someone’s food?” you ask, raising an eyebrow.

“uhm, no, i’m from this country” he starts and after seeing your expression, all of the lines he’d planned out got caught on his tongue, “well, have a good meal”

hyunjin cackled at his attempts and heeseung doubled the price for the next day, determined to get you to have breakfast with him again. that’s how it went on for days, heeseung kept doubling the price at his failed attempts. yeji not really helping as she scowled at him everyday while hyunjin doubled over in laughter.

one of those days, heeseung realizes he really has nothing else to loose, except for his dignity. so that is exactly what he did. heeseung started sobbing in the middle of the diner, weird looks thrown at him.

when you suddenly sat beside him and spoke in the softest voice, he almost melted right then and there. but he pushed through with the acting, still sobbing nonetheless of you trying to calm him down. finally, he got succeeded in getting you to have breakfast with him once again. under the excuse that he couldn’t read.

you both talked all throughout the day, teaching him how to pronounce certain words, reading off the menu and enunciating each syllable. he found it quite endearing that you were so patient given the ridiculous situation.

“i had a great time” you said as you both walked out of the diner.

“yeah, so did i” heeseung smiles. he was about to say something else, but stopped. figuring it was better to go one step at a time, he turned to go get in his car when you scoffed.

“seriously? thats all? you know i thought that if someone would embarrass themselves just to talk to me they would at least ask for my number” you say, turning on the engine and start to pull out of the park.

heeseung, panicked, quickly got in his car to drive after you and apologise. afraid that he would cause problems. and that is how he led himself to this moment; getting told off by your father and almost getting beaten up by your brother.

your father had told him to lose contact with you. that he was to not go to the diner anymore and leave you alone.

now if there’s anything to know about heeseung, it’s that he takes an advice and let it go out the other ear — with the exception of his own grandma, he’s terrified of her — and second, he will never give up on anything. so, he left no time for sulking as the next day he had a brand new conception.

he knew there was no way he could ever talk to you in the diner under the watchful eyes of both yeji and hyunjin. so, learning your daily schedule, heeseung decides to stop at a part of your drive and pretended as if his truck broke down.

“hey, i’m so sorry. can you give me a lift?” heeseung awkwardly smiled as you slowly stopped right in front of his car. a concerned look on your face.

“yeah, of course” you say, getting out of your car to help attach his to yours.

with that, he’s made up a variety of reasons to stop you on your way. most days interacting with you than not. he was so determined to talk to you, his excuses ranged from being kidnapped to getting beaten by who you assumed was a random man.

the plans were carefully thought of, daily. he spent much time creating up random scenarios that were severe enough for you to spare him some time and talk to him.

he really should’ve seen it coming. because one day, your car wasn’t the one approaching, rather, another car. as it came closer he realized your father and brother were sat on the front seats and he sat up from the position he took on the ground.

“once you stop pretending to look dead, come by the house”

now he’s once again stood in the lawns of your house. he expected your dad to tell him to stop meeting you or restrict him further, but all he did was just talk to him.

your dad hesitantly told him how happy you were going about your day and how it only ever happens whenever you had an interaction with him.

“i can stop you from seeing my daughter” your father pauses, “but i can’t stop her from seeing you if that’s what makes her happy”

the weight of his words flowed through the air as your voice tunes in from the garage. painting away your garage whilst singing a song you know so well.

“let me get this straight” jake says, “you’ve been trying to talk to her everyday, making up dozens of excuses, doing random things just so she would talk to you?”

“well if you word it like that, it sounds sad”

“so you’re basically trying to get her to fall in love with you, every single day”

“not always” heeseung trails off, “it’s complicated”

“sure” jake says, taking out his pack of cigarettes. “want one?”

heeseung shook his head, back in thought.

“you haven’t been smoking lately” jake ponders. “is it because of that girl?”

jake said it as a joke, fully expecting his friend to slap him or dismiss it all. but he was proved wrong when heeseung stared right at him and nodded.

“she’s been through enough, i don’t want her to have lung problems just because i can’t leave her alone”

jake whistled low at the statement.

“besides, it’s bad for your lungs, you should stop too”

“i don’t smoke as much as you did” jake retorts, putting back the blunt in the pack. figuring it was boring to smoke alone.

“i never expected you’d do things like this”

“you think i’m heartless”

“not when you used to shit your pants from a ghost story” jake laughs and so did heeseung, hitting his friend on the back. jake looked to his friend, curious.

“do you like her?”

“what do you think?”

“personally?” jake stops, “i think you’re in love with her”

a part of him wanted to deny that, he used to be afraid of commitment after all. but now the prospect of not having any commitment with you kind of scares him. he can’t have commitment with you, literally and figuratively. how could he when you can’t remember who he is everytime you wake up.

like jake said; no strings attached. except, this time he was the at the receiving end and he couldn’t do anything about it.

attempting for the last time to talk to you at the diner, heeseung knew he would fail. he thought he’d done terribly at flirting with you when you screamed a loud ‘no’.

but when you quickly grabbed your jacket and walked out, he followed suit. yeji and hyunjin alarmed as well, walking out of the diner.

the police was about to place a ticket on your car, it was overdue.

“the tags don’t expire until next year”

“it expires May of this year, maam” the police officer said.

“no! it expires may of next-“ you stop after looking at the date of a newspaper that someone was holding.

in a rush, you look around for your car and got in. driving back home confused and aggravated, you have no idea what’s happening.

in the end, you’ve spiraled into this deep hole of reality after your father, quite hesitantly, revealed everything. he told you the whole story; the car accident, what your dad has done, and — to heeseung’s surprise — what heeseung has been doing for the past few months.

sitting on the front steps of your house, flipping through the book filled with newspapers and clippings from your accident, everyone waited around you. your father ready with answers if you if you had any questions or needed any support.

what no one expected was for you to say you wanted to talk to heeseung, alone. heeseung himself was quite shocked, and scared to be faie. he thought out of anyone, you wouldn’t want to talk to him anymore. rather hesitant, your father and brother walked in the house to give you space.

the silence was unbearable, for heeseung anyway. you stared front out to the grassy field. it was a beautiful afternoon if not for the situation you were in right now.

“so, um” heeseung cleared his throat rather awkwardly.

“i’m sorry”

he waits for you to continue, but alas you never did. heeseung looks at you, his brows furrowed.

“what for?”

“you’re the only person i can never remember when i wake up” you say, stretching out your legs and observing them instead.

heeseung looked at you — or rather admired you. he can’t believe even in a situation as this, he still find it in himself to fawn over you. you looked so ethereal under the small rays of the sun.

“it’s alright” hee said, slowly smiling as he looked away from you and off to the wide land. “not like you can help it”

“how are you fine with all this?” this time, you were the one facing him, gosh how could he still keep on that god awful, handsome smile on when he’s practically been rejected multiple times?

“just because” he replies, his smile widening. heeseung feels as if he’s gone mad, absolutely batshit insane. he can’t tell why he’s smiling so brightly right now, maybe it’s because of the fact that he’s having a conversation with you again, or maybe it’s because of how cute you sounded like when you’re concerned for him.

“you’re okay with” you pause, carefully choosing the right words “trying to make me fall in love with you every single day?” you say this slowly, enunciating each syllable hoping you’d say it in a way that didn’t seem weird or self-centered.

“what if i say i am?” you were caught off guard when heeseung’s face turned to you. you hadn’t really noticed your proximity until now. his nose was barely grazing yours and you could see his eyes up close, has it always been that pretty?

you gulp. because how can you not? lee heeseung is inches away from your face and he has the most adorable expression anyone could’ve ever seen. an expression no one’s ever seen except for you. his pupils dilated, hair messy from the wind, cheeks a rosy color and a small grin to top it all off.

“why?”

“want me to show you why?” he says. your heart pounded too loud and out of the sheer fear of him being able to hear it, you looked away. heeseung chuckled and blinked, his eyes wandering back to the field.

“i have to get back” heeseung says standing up, “tell me if you ever need anything” you finally dared yourself to look up at him. it didn’t matter anyway as heeseung walked off and got into his car. flashing that smile of his once more before pulling out of the driveway.

you went in your house after watching his car get further and further, lost in your own thought. when you walk up to your room, a small box covered with wrapping paper is placed on top of your bed.

opening it carefully, you opened the box to see a disc titled “to y/n”. out of curiosity, you ran down to the living room’s television and insert it into the dvd player.

sitting down on the sofa, you waited as the video started to play. the tunes of your favorite song hummed in as heeseung came into view.

“hi, heeseung here” he starts saying, the camera pans to two people in the background that was making heart poses and kissy faces. “yo guys stop”

the guys in the back laughed silently and the camera focused back on heeseung, his smile back on display.

“if you’re watching this, y/n. i want to tell you a bit of a background story first” heeseung stops, and grabs something from below “you got into a car accident about a year ago”

the camera focused on the newspaper clipping of her accident, “and now you can’t remember me, even if i try to talk to you everyday”

the person behind the camera snorted and heeseung threw a dirty look to whoever.

“but it’s okay, because now i’ll show you what’s been happening so you can watch this everyday” hee stands up from the sofa and sits down on his living room chair. the camera zooms out and across him sat one of his friends, you assumed. “this is sunghoon, he’s going to act as you”

the guy named sunghoon waved at the camera, smiling politely. the recording continued on for minutes as heeseung acts out the encounters he’s had with you. sunghoon and his other friend, jay, making faces every once in a while to piss off their friend. your laughs and giggles reverberated through the house walls that has your dad coming in to check on you.

as he watches you from the doorway, listening to your laughs and seeing your big smile, he can’t help but have one of his own. ever since the accident, he really has felt emptiness all over. guilt and so much more emotions plaguing him by day. all he wants is just to watch you be happy all the time and if that’s what heeseung makes you, he couldn’t stop you.

the past few months after that were filled with heeseung getting closer and closer to you as more recordings of you and him were added to the tape.

heeseung told you everything about his life, what and why he works as what he does and how he ended up in hawaii.

in turn, you told him more about the years you’ve had without him and telling him about your late mom. you told him about how she still brings you comfort until today from picking up all the tiny quirks she used to do.

eventually, heeseung grew on you. watching the tape daily and seeing how well he treats you, you really can’t help but fall more and more in love with him.

“no, i love tulips, but i love dandelions as well” you say at the pouting guy in front of you. “these are beautiful, hee”

“you know if you want me to get you another one, i can do it right now” he says, ready to make a run for the shop if you say the word.

“i told you” you took another whiff of the dandelions in exaggeration, “i love dandelions, they’re really pretty”

“okay” he sighs, and the moment you yawn for the nth time of the day, heeseung had you nursed back to bed.

“i’m fine”

“yeah, sure” he says, dismissing your words and grabbing a blanket to cover you. “get some rest, i’ll wake you up this time. i swear”

you squint your eyes at him in warning, “i will!” he says in faux sincerity, letting out a small laugh.

“fine”

heeseung gets up and walks out the door the moment you stopped mumbling. he went down to be greeted by your doctor along with your father and brother in the living room.

they all talked about your health and well-being. and if there was any way your memory would ever be healed — mostly heeseung asked about this. and as much as he hoped, there was close to no chance you would. your head injury was so severe it permanently damaged those parts of your brain.

“are you planning to continue all of this?” your father suddenly asked him, “you have no plans for the future?”

“i’m going to university soon, abroad” heeseung starts. “to continue work as a biologist in alaska”

“ah, well, it’s great you have plans” the doctor replies, patting his back, “i thought you were going to devote your whole life to helping her regain her memories”

heeseung wasn’t the only one silent at this. you were too, although a room away. you couldn’t sleep for long and was about to walk outside when you overheard their conversation about you and didn’t want to make it awkward.

but now, you just realized how dumb you were. you realized how you were basically holding him back from everything. you were being selfish of his time. you blindly liked all of the time he’s spent with you, but you didn’t realize that he too should have a life outside of you.

walking back into your room, you pull out your journal that held all the memories you’ve had with him. you’ve written all of it down. most pages dedicated to him.

“hey” you say walking up to him the next day, as he was feeding the dolphins. journal clutched tightly in one hand.

“hi” heeseung said, pure affection on his voice. you sat down beside him on the docks as he went back to throwing in the food. “i just realized i haven’t introduced you to them. this one’s named lorry”

heeseung says patting the head of the closest dolphin. you closed off your heart, preparing yourself for the worse today. set on one goal. but how can he just sit there and look adorable and somehow all the things you planned to say are down the drains.

“don’t worry, lorry’s one of the nicest ones. compared to the others” heeseung assures, you slowly inched your hands forward to pat the dolphin and it felt soft. lorry snuggled its snout to your palm and dived in the water again to play with its friends.

“heeseung” you say, staring out at the sea, avoiding his eyes at all costs. he hummed, closing up the bag of food before looking at you.

“we should stop seeing each other”

heeseung blinked. once. twice. thrice. he thought people were exaggerating when they said ‘their heart dropped’, but now he understands. he could feel his heart starting to beat uncomfortably, every inch of his body conscious, his mouth felt dry.

“what?”

“i’m not going to hold you back. you can’t just make me fall in love with you everyday, thinking there would be a future for us”

“but what if there is?”

“theres no future with me, seung”

not that nickname. please. you can’t just ask him to stop talking to you and use that nickname on him. it’s not fair. you aren’t being fair. why are you being so weird right now?

“there is!” heeseung exclaims, “i’ll make sure there is. you can watch the tape everyday-“

“it won’t work, hee“

“or i’ll tell you our story-“

“you’ll get bored of it“

“i’ll remind you every morning-“

“that’s impractical“

“or i can stop by your house all the time-“

“stop”

“no, you stop.” heeseung stressed, “i have no problem waking up everyday to talk to you— or, or to remind you of our relationship. i don’t want this to end”

“seung” you sigh, “we can’t make it work and you know that” you picked up the journal beside you and showed it to him.

“i started writing in this journal ever since the day i found out about the accident. and i want to start a new chapter” you look down, “without you in it”

he stayed silent. the waves rippled under the dawning sun. hues of orange contrasted with the sea, reflecting off the colors.

“okay” heeseung says barely above a whisper. you look at him, pretending you didn’t hear him say anything. heeseung stared ahead and cleared his throat. “okay. it was nice knowing you, y/n”

he turned to you with a smile. you don’t know what kind of answer you wanted from him. maybe you half expected for him to continue screaming at you or hell even push you in the water. but for some reason, seeing his strained smile hurt you even more. you were the one who had the idea so why were you the one to slowly regret it?

“glad for you, son” heeseung looked back to see your father walking towards him, your brother following behind.

“sir” heeseung greets, he nodded at your brother. “i’m finally off your back now” he jokes.

your father smiles, “ahh well you weren’t all bad” he says patting heeseung on the back.

heeseung smiles politely. he hesitates to say something, but ultimately thought there was nothing else to loose anyway. “how’s y/n?”

your father looks at him with raised eyebrows, “she’s moved in to the clinic now, teaches people art”

“code 110, flight A30 has opened for boarding, please get in line. i repeat, code 110, flight A30 has opened for boarding, please get in line” the speaker announced.

“that’s my cue” heeseung says, taking his suitcase. “it’s been nice knowing you sir. wished we had more time to talk, you too” heeseung nods at your father and brother. he was about to turn to the gate before a hand landed on his shoulder, stopping him.

“before you go, i want you to have this. a parting gift if you will” your father hands him an ipod. your father nods one last time and walks off. leaving heeseung quite confused.

he got in the plane and the moment he sat down, he connected the wires of his earphones in and as the familiar melody whistled in his ears he knows he fucked up.

heeseung hadn’t ever gotten up and left the plane so quick, a few people shouting at him after he bumped into them but he paid no mind. he ran out the airport and called for a cab.

he was jittery the whole ride. he realized how dumb he had been this whole time. he went through all the things you said that day and he didn’t understand why he just let you leave like that. why didn’t he put up more of a fight?

the moment he got down off the cab he ran in to the hospital searching everywhere for you until he found you back in the gardens. watering some flowers and tending to them.

“y/n” heeseung pants, you turn back a bit startled and see him. heeseung slowly walks towards you, taking careful steps one by another. “do you remember me?” he whipers.

he breathes in, your sweet scent filling him up. his face an inch away from yours. he watched as you stared up at him, admiring how the glow of your eyes shifted at every minor movement.

your lips break out into a pretty smile, “how couldn’t i?” and in a spur, your lips were on his. the longing and time that has passed all fused into a moment. heeseung grabs you by your waist to deepen the kiss and giggles from both you and him elicits against each other.

as you break apart for a moment, heeseung mumbles out something that you definitely heard but want to hear him say again.

“i love you” he whispers, “and i’ll continue to for a very long time”

even memories can never erase that feeling. the feeling of being so painfully in love with someone. the feeling of loving lee heeseung.

375 notes · View notes

miupow · 4 months

Text

[ 9:35 pm ] - c. yeonjun

── ★ [ 🧸 ] NSFW, MDNFI!! smut, fluff, soft dom!yeonjun, fem!reader, oral sex (f. rec), first times, petnames and praise, pussy drunk!jjun, established relationship

happy early galentines day everyone!! i wanted to go ahead and release something a little early for all of my girlies cos i’ll be mia tomorrow w/ the boyfie :3 this is a repost from my old account! thank you to smiles and her amazing hard thoughts for reminding me of this forgottenmasterpiece <3

“Um, I— Jjunie, are you sure?” you ask, hesitant and nervous, fighting the urge to close your legs— you’re fairly sure you couldn’t anyway, even if you tried, with how roughly Yeonjun was gripping your thighs. “You really don’t have to if you don’t want to—“

“I want to,” Yeonjun breathed, eyes blown out wide and dark— he stared down at your bare pussy with a hunger you’ve never seen quite so intense before, licking his lips like he was craving your taste on his tongue. “i want to so bad, baby, please, can I? I’ll make you feel so good, I promise…”

The thumb that had been rubbing comforting circles into your inner thigh moved to press gently at your clit— you keen, sticky folds fluttering, thighs shuddering on either side of your boyfriend’s head. you were far from a virgin, but yeonjun never failed to make you feel like one; in just a few months of dating he had made you feel pleasure you didn’t think was possible, so enthusiastic in giving it to you so good… and when you had brought up that you had never been eaten out before, all of your exes’ repulsed by the idea, yeonjun couldn’t help but jump at the opportunity to introduce you to something new.

he swore that eating pussy was one of his most favorite things in the world, but you weren’t quite sure if you believed him.

“Wh-what if I don’t taste good…?” you mumble, and to your horror Yeonjun actually laughs.

“Babydoll, I’ve been wanting to get my mouth on you since I met you. Can’t believe no one’s ever ate this pretty pussy, so fuckin’ wet for me… you want Jjunie’s tongue, don’t you baby?” Yeonjun’s thumb dipped down from your clit to tease at your hole, dribbling slick and achingly empty, the teasing pressure making you whine high in your throat. You’ve played this game before, your boyfriend ever so predictable— Yeonjun won’t give it to you until you ask him to, and you better ask him nicely.

“Jjunie, please…” you whimper, resolve all but disintegrating when Yeonjun presses his index and middle finger up against your entrance.

“Please what, love?” your little hole started to open up around the pads of his fingers, not dipping in entirely quiet yet— it was nowhere near enough, the ghost of a stretch, teasing you with memories of his cock parting your gummy walls…

“Want your mouth, want your fingers— please, please, please!”

“Good girl~” Yeonjun drawls, almost a growl, and dives in without much warning— you’re assaulted with the feeling of his lips wrapping around your clit, his tongue sliding between your folds, his long thick fingers diving into your cunt and curling against your walls just right. You cry out, toss your head back against the pillows, completely overwhelmed by all of the sensations; you feel Yeonjun smirk against your cunt.

His fingers fuck you nice n slow, filling you up so deep and rubbing up against your sweet spot so deliciously— a contrast to how harshly he was sucking at your clit, pouty lips swollen and mouth hot and wet, pleasure unlike anything you’ve felt before rolling through your body sharp like electricity, so so good it’s almost painful— you shriek when he changes angles, thrusts his fingers a little faster, a little harder, and you push hard at his head until he pulls off of your cunt.

“What’s the matter, doll? Don’t like it?” Yeonjun asks gently, hair messy, face pink, his lips and chin wet with your arousal, his fingers still buried deep in your tight hole… you whimper at the sight of him, thick thighs still shaking from the aftershocks.

“Too much, Jjunie,” your pussy throbbed, clit pulsated, knot in your belly tight— Yeonjun cooed, pressed a chaste, wet kiss to your inner thigh.

“Shh, princess, it’s okay, Jjunie’s got you— pussy tastes so fucking good, shit, can’t hold myself back..” he gently pulls his fingers out, watches in rapture at how your folds clench around nothing, “Gonna be okay, honey, just lie back and feel good~”

“I taste good?” you echo in a small voice.

“Mhm, perfect lil cunt for me,” Yeonjun stares longingly at your twitching pussy like he misses it, huffing deep breaths he denied himself when he was buried between your thighs. “Need you on my mouth again, taste so addicting, holy shit— I’ll be gentler this time baby, I promise, just gotta make you cum in my mouth. Please? Your Jjunie’s gonna make you cum so fuckin’ hard, gotta taste it—“

You blink, fucked out and a little surprised. Maybe Yeonjun does like eating pussy as much as he says he does.

taglist: @wintertxt, @boba-beom, @wolfytae-exe, @takemehye, @naomiarai , @mapofthemazeinthemirror , @bunnie-hq , @doumachi, @numxra, @soobinsbuns, @taegimood, @jeniihss, @soobabby, @hhoneylix , @beargyuuzz, @fullbodyblankets , @xenkimmie, @ttaesoob, @shinyngirl , @lxnoluvr, @blxxsss , @ode2soob , @beom-gyubears, @ashiixari, @lurking-coconut, @horanghaelovr, @yyeonzi, @paegesoobin , @nightlyhyuka, @urstylezx , @f4iryfever, @givethnofucketh

#lia’s hard hours 🔥#txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #txt x reader #yeonjun smut #txt smut #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun hard thoughts #yeonjun hard hours #nightly.nsfw #nightly.jjunie

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buggybambi · 4 months

Text

lost in translation | carmen berzatto

you get a job working as a waitress at the bear. if only you knew it would get you here. ─ 3.68k ─ angst and fluff, breakups / fighting, some cursing, reader is younger then carmy.

THE STRANGERS PHASE

The first time you and Carmen met was when Nat and Richie had hired you as part of the Bear staff.

A waitress, and a sweet looking one at that. Younger than him. "You guys finally settled on a candidate?" Carmen asks as Natalie and Richie watch you from the small window in the kitchen.

You sit there for a moment before adjusting the silverware, passing Richie's test almost immediately. "I believe we just did." Nat confirms. Carmen takes a look for himself and swears his heart skips a beat as he watches you for a brief moment before clearing his throat, having to pull himself away. "Okay. Cool." He brushes it off.

He didn't get the chance to meet you right away, not until the night before their soft opening. You'd been through training, getting used to the system at the Bear and getting accompanied with staff. All but one. The head chef and owner, 'Carmy' as everyone called him.

"Hey, you're the new hire, right?" A voice asks as you shut your locker. You jump a bit, as you turn, smiling. "I am." The male nods, holding out his hand. "Sorry about scaring you. I'm Carmen Berzatto, don't think we've had the chance to meet." He introduces.

You accept the handshake, swearing you feel a little spark between you two just from touching him.

───

From there, it was like clockwork. You and him would get stuck closing together, and each night you'd dive into a new part of his past. "So, what made you wanna open this place?" You question. He exhales, momentarily pausing his movements of scrubbing the counters before he sniffles. "My brother left it to me after his death."

You pause, staring at him. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked-" He laughs. "You couldn't have known. It's okay, really. I actually wanted to work here, or what used to be here, for the longest time by his side but he didn't let me. Never knew why. It was the thing he left me in his will." He gives a more in depth answer.

You nod slowly. "I'm sorry about that, Carm. His death and not letting you work here." You specify as you look at him. "If it's any comfort, I think your brother would be really proud of what you've turned this place into." You say.

He nods, sniffling again. You set your rag back in the soapy water, sighing as you mark off your final station to clean on the clipboard.

"See you tomorrow night?" He asks as you begin walking to the lockers.

You smile. "It's a date, chef." You confirm. He blushes at the idea of you and him being on a date.

───

Carmen swore to himself he'd take you on an actual date. The planning was easy, it was actually asking you that he found to be a challenge.

"So, are you seeing anyone?" He asks, trying to sound as casual as he can the next night when you two are closing, which didn't come for almost a week. Though he was grateful, it also felt like torture having to wait to get you alone.

"No, I'm not actually. Chicago hasn't exactly been my Paris, you know? City of love and all that bullshit." You answer as you stare at the chore list for that night. "Check the mayonnaise labels. Does Nat think our mayo is expired?" You question.

“Nat thinks all of our stuff is expired one way or another. It doesn’t expire ‘till the nineteenth of May.” He grabs out a knife to start chopping the vegetables. “Anyway, Chicago isn’t really known for its romance.” He points out.

"So I've been told." You stare at the menu. "What's a vegetable medley?" You question as you look back up at him, catching him staring at you. He clears his throat and quickly sets the knife down, wiping his hands on a towel. "Uh, it's a bunch of veggies like green and yellow bell peppers, asparagus and squash topped with balsamic vinegar.” He answers.

You nod slowly. “Only you can explain something like that and make it sound so good right now, Carm.” "Did you eat today?" He doesn't hesitate to ask. "Haven't had a chance to. Richie had me running around all day with the new system, but don't worry, I'm gonna make myself something at home."

"No, come on. I'm- You're not driving home hungry like that. It’s a safety risk. Sit." You go to protest before he repeats himself. "Sit."

The entire night was spent with you and Carmen eating his way too fancy dishes and talking. Sharing memories - childhoods, dreams, stories.

He likes to consider it your first date.

You like to consider it the night you fell in love.

───

You weren't sure what you and Carmen were after that night in the kitchen. Or how to even ask. Do you just come right out and say it? Is there a specific way or time to ask? Google provided zero help, so it was up to you to solve this one.

Maybe that’s what was driving you and Carmy apart for the next week: your mind trying to run through how to even approach that with him. It wasn't until he ambushed you at your locker that you were forced to approach the topic with him. "Not talking to you all week has been driving me insane. Are we okay? If dinner was too much.." He lets his voice trail off.

You smile, as you exhale. "Carmen, I loved dinner. I was just unsure of where we stood. Thought I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out if that was a date or not." You admit. He stares at you, nodding slowly. "Let me take you out to an actual dinner. A real date night." He requests.

You nod. "Okay, I'd like that." You barely have another chance to speak before Richie's calling your name. You place a hand on Carmen's shoulder as you pass him, giving him a small smile before you rush to find out what Richie needs you for.

Carmen watches you leave, wishing you'd come back to him.

Carmen had thought of your date night perfectly. A romantic, rooftop dinner overlooking Chicago’s nighttime streets. “You bring all the girls up to your rooftop, Berzatto?” You question as you stare at the cars passing by.

“Only the special ones.” He’d answer with a grin.

You wished he kissed you that night, but he didn’t. Instead he settled for dropping you off at your apartment before leaving. You could tell he wanted to kiss you, too, but he wanted to wait.

"So, you and Carmen?" Sydney asks as you help her open the Bear that morning, cutting vegetables up with her. You sigh, a smile on your face regardless. "How'd you hear about that?" You question in return.

“It’s the Bear. There’s no such thing called secrets when you work here. Everyone knows everything about everyone. Now, you and Carmy?” She asks again as you laugh. “There’s nothing going on between us. He and I got dinner a few times, but I don’t think it’s going anywhere.” You say with a shrug.

She stares at you, noticing the blush in your cheeks. You grin. “Don’t even. Nothing has happened between us.” You reiterate. She laughs, grabbing her bucket of vegetables. "Whatever you say!"

You roll your eyes, turning and staring at Carmen in the doorway. There he goes again, staring at you when you aren't looking. It doesn't slide past you that he has a noticeable sparkle in his eyes.

───

Of course the universe would have it out for you and Carmen to close together that night. As you two stand over the counters, cleaning them down, you decide to ask the question that had been plaguing your mind.

"What are you and I?" You ask, looking up at him for the first time. His scrubbing stops, as he looks back at you. "I want us to be together." He answers honestly, and you're a bit taken back by his honesty.

“You seem like you’ve thought about this.”

“More than you know.” Translation: I’ve thought about you.

You nod slowly as you walk over to the sink, beginning to wash your hands. "I want us to be together, too. I just don't want this to be weird between us because we work together, you know." You voice your concerns as you grab the towel, drying your hands.

You turn, finding him standing behind you. "I don't care if we want us to be together. I want us to give.. us.. a chance." He says, taking your hand in his. You stare at your hands interlocked as you hum. "Carmen."

"Yes?" He asks softly.

"If you don't kiss me right now I might just walk out and not come back." You tease.

He doesn't have to be told twice, and he kisses you like he's been thinking about it. Like he's been needing that. Hands cupping your face, yours finding his waist.

You didn't need much of an answer as to what you and Carmen were after that.

THE LOVERS PHASE

You and Carmen had agreed: the staff didn’t need to know you two were officially dating. If it was important enough to share, sure. But other then that, you two wouldn’t go around publicly announcing it.

Turns out, dating Carmen wasn't much different from being friends with him. Except now you were in the kitchen at two in the morning, slow dancing with him.

It'd started with dinner that night. Him holding you from behind,

Frank Sinatra plays lowly on the radio as he spins you around, with you grinning as you sway with him. “Who taught you to dance, Berzatto?” You question.

“Nat did. Taught me for her wedding. Said if I looked like a fish outta water she’d ban me from the reception.” He answers with a lovesick grin. You laugh, throwing your head back. “Sounds like Nat.”

He smirks. “And who taught you?” He asks in return. You hum as he pulls you closer to his chest, as Sinatra’s ‘The Girl from Ipanema’ plays. “I did. Convinced myself when I was a little girl I'd be like Misty Copeland.” You answer.

He grins. Only two weeks had gone by with him being officially yours, and he was falling in love with you. Maybe that’s why it spilled out as he held you close.

“I love you.” His voice is hushed.

You pulled away only a bit to look at his eyes. Maybe searching to see if they were genuine, if he said what you think he did. "Carmen..." You smile, a laugh coming out. "I love you, too." You repeat it back to him.

"Take the too out. Makes it sound like you're just agreeing." He requests softly, lips brushing barely against yours. You giggle at his plea, but comply anyway. "Carmen, I love you." You say it again, this time it feels more real.

Two weeks in, and you two are in love. If you knew any better, you'd assume you were screwed.

───

"What do you wanna do with your life?" The question startled you as you and Carmen sat on the balcony of your apartment, overlooking downtown Chicago. Buildings illuminating the night sky, car horns blaring every few minutes from the nighttime traffic.

"I wanna open a bar. Maybe go to Los Angeles or New York, just open my own place. You know?" You hold your knees up on the patio chair with you, a cup of tea in hand. "Some dive bar but... fancier. Live music, live entertainment."

He nods slowly, grabbing out his notepad. "Get out of Chicago?" He asks. You laugh. "Pretty much. Don't get me wrong, I love this city. This just.. isn't the plan." You say with a shrug.

"Mm." He says, scribbling something down on the paper. You lean over, staring at it. "What are you drawing, Berzatto?" You question. "Nothin'. It's a surprise, if I show you it now it won't be a surprise." He points out.

You grin as you lean your head back. "Okay. What about you? Is the Bear your final dream?" You question, still looking over at him. He sets the pen down, looking over the skyline. "I don't know. Though until I met you I had all my dreams and goals figured out."

"Don't say it-"

"You're my new dream." He grins, looking over at you. You laugh, rolling your eyes. "That was unbelievably cheesy, Berzatto. I don't know if I can ever look at you the same after that." You tease.

"You don't have to look at me to kiss me." He points out as you roll your eyes, standing up. You give him a quick peck as you open the door, stepping halfway inside. "Don't take too long getting to bed, okay? It's cold out here." You comment.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." He waits until you're fully inside to pull back out the notepad. Sketched on is a logo for a bar, your bar. Your name written in what he imagines is neon lights. 'ANGEL'S BAR'. The way he views you, an angel. His angel.

He hums, standing up and making his way inside, the notepad tucked under his arm. He finds you in the living room, sorting through the mail. “Hey, hey, my old college roommate’s getting married. New York. What a terrifying city.” You laugh as you set the invite down, before his arm wraps around your waist, pulling you down to the bedroom.

───

Carmen had spent so much time in your apartment that it practically felt like his own. So, the idea of asking him to move in wasn’t totally crazy. His clothes were now hung up in your closet, his cologne and cedarwood soap lingered.

Your relationship with Carmen had grown, so much so that you were now spending time with his family. You stood in the kitchen of the Berzatto home. Your first family dinner with them, and it had been more drama filled then a soap opera. Soft music filled the room, cinnamon roll scented candles lit making the house smell like a bakery. Your scarf hung on the staircase banister.

"First official Berzatto dinner. How ya holdin’ up?" Sugar asks as she slides beside you, handing you a glass of wine to match her own. "Oh you know me so well. It's going.. as good as I expected it to be. Are they always this chaotic?" You question.

"Hell yes. The Berzatto family has never been calm, y'know?" She laughs. "But you seem to be fitting in nicely. And this is the first year of us doing one of these that Carmen truly seems happy, I think you're to thank for that."

You grin. "Well, as long as he's smiling." You and her watch him in the living room, chasing down the younger family members, laughing as they tackle him down to the floor.

"Yeah, well, I've seen Carmen with other girls before, and none of them have made him this happy. So, on behalf of the Berzatto family, thanks for bringing us a smiling Carmy." She raises her glass to you as you laugh, lifting yours as well.

Carmen watches as you clink glasses with Nat as he enters the kitchen. "You two doing good in here?" He asks. "Oh, we are doing wonderful. I should go find my husband." Nat says, smiling and walking out of the kitchen.

You sigh, setting your wine glass down behind you on the counter. "Hi." He greets, arms wrapped around your waist. You hum, wrapping yours around his neck. "Hey you." You reply, pressing your lips against his.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” He says quietly after he pulls away, placing his forehead against yours, closing his eyes.

You smile, placing a hand on his cheek. “I’m glad too, Carm.”

───

Arguments in relationships are common. They’re healthy, they bring growth. You and Carmen had a fair share of disagreements but never ones where he called you the name he did tonight: clingy.

“Can you just fucking leave me be for a second?! I don’t need you crowding me and being so- so fucking clingy.” Right in the office of the Bear, as you made sure he understood what was happening with Syd’s plans.

Now here you were, in Nat’s living room. “He probably didn’t mean it, you know?” She asks softly as she pushes some of your hair out of your face, wiping tears that fall down your cheeks. “I think he’s just been so worried about our mom, her issues and the Bear.”

“What if he did mean it though? What if.. What if he was just with me out of convenience or pity?” You voice your worries. She shakes her head. “I have never seen Carmy as happy anywhere else as he is with you. He loves you, Y/n. He wants to be with you, no one else.” She replies.

“You don’t call the people you love clingy.” You point out. She sighs, letting you lay your head on her shoulder. No matter what she said, nothing changed how you felt. Carmen thought you were clingy. Whether subconsciously or not, he thought it.

The thought made your heart ache.

───

You were younger than Carmen, you knew that much from the moment you met him. But it had never been an issue in your relationship, until now it seems. A simple, offhand comment about kids and marriage you had made to Syd. You wanted those things, and you wanted them with Carmy.

That’s what landed you in this position on a cold night, with him sitting on the armchair in front of you and you on the floor, crouched to try and read his eyes. Find any sign that you could get past this.

“We’re just on different paths. I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get this close to you. And I should have stopped myself before I hurt you.” Translation: you’re still young and I can’t hold you back.

He didn’t stay after that. His clothes still hung in your closet, with you on the floor of the living room.

Translation: what now?

THE ENEMIES STAGE

“So, plans for you being in New York?” Diane asks as you and her sit on the rooftop of her apartment building. You sigh, as you lean back on your chair. “Drink a lot. Forget my relationship problems in Chicago and hope for the best.” You answer with a nod.

She rolls her eyes. “Come on. You can’t expect to fix your relationship in different states without talking.” She points out as you look over at her. “When did I hire you as a relationship therapist?” You tease. “Carm and I will be fine.”

You couldn’t find the translation anymore for what “fine” meant.

───

The wedding was gorgeous. Diane looked stunning and her husband was the sweetest man. The sun was setting over Manhattan, as you sat at the open bar perched on the rooftop. Staring at the missed call from a familiar contact: ‘Chef’s Kiss’. Carmy.

Maybe you had asked him for too much. Wanting kids, marriage. He’d give them to you if you asked, you knew that. But the idea of him just putting up with that just to keep you?

You didn’t return his call or any of his texts. Instead, you kept quiet until you returned to Chicago a week later. A box perched on your apartment doorstep with your belongings. Jewelry, shirts you left at his place. All of them except for the scarf that still sat on Donna’s staircase banister.

Maybe he kept it because it smells like you. Or because it reminded him of something pure. The one thing he really knew was now gone, and the scarf was a fragment of that.

───

It didn’t shock any of the staff at the Bear when you turned in your notice and stopped working there. Or when you took the couch you and Carmy used to sit on during late night conversations and moved it eleven hours with you to New York. Along with his hoodies, the one you wanted to keep most because it smelled like him still.

You didn’t delete the videos or photos you had with him. It feels too real if you do.

You stared at the kitchen. Where he used to hold you, scolding you for how you handled knives. The balcony, where he told you that you were his new dream. The living room where he’d kiss you like it was the first time. The bedroom, where some nights, he made you his own, and others he held you while you slept.

The only thing you found in the apartment that was foreign to you? A piece of notepad paper, with “ANGEL’S BAR” drawn on the front. You stuck that in your pocket as you made your way to your car.

It hurts to look at. It hurts to think about him.

Now it’s just you, in your hundred square foot apartment that you share with a roommate now. You manage to delete the playlist of songs that he loved swaying with you to in early mornings in kitchen lights. You learn his favorite melody by heart: stranger, to lovers, to enemies.

───

Closing that chapter of your life, you focused more on opening Angel’s Bar. His logo on the front, in downtown New York. Soft piano playing as chatter fills the room, drinks being poured in the corners.

It may have just been Carmen’s luck to find you on opening night, chatting around with the customers as he watched from the window, a familiar red scarf wrapped around his neck to help fight the cold air.

Translation: it reminds him of innocence. It reminds him of the better part of himself, the one you brought out in him.

Carmen learned to take lessons from break-ups pretty early on into his life. The one he got from you?

“Falling in love isn't for the weak. So don't try it at home.” He closes the book that he was given as an assignment for his AA class.

Maybe you were his favorite melody after all.

𓍢ִ໋🔪 ♡₊˚ 🧣・₊✧

shine on, shine on, my loves!

thank you for reading! please feel free to engage with this post by reblogging, commenting or sliding into my inbox to leave feedback! i appreciate all of you! check out my carmen berzatto masterlist here for more fanfics!

taglist ✨ (to be added please reply to this post in the comments!)

@wabi-sabi1090

@harrysmatcha

@kpopgirlbtssvt

@urdreamgirl12

@readingwithsass

@angelicflower2020

@wadupppp

- mae

738 notes · View notes

starillusion13 · 11 months

Text

Winning Dessert

Pairing: boxer! San x f! reader x manager! Wooyoung

Genre: Strangers to lovers, Mature, SMUT

W.C: 6.3k +

Warnings: sexual themes,explicit SMUT, nipple play, oral (f receiving) , m x f x m, threesome, double penetration,unprotected sex(please don’t do irl),aftercare (please idk if anything more needed to add or not.)

Request from: @kitten4sannie

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Thanks for helping me out to come up with an idea with woosan fic @mymoodwriting

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @yeoobin @anyamaris (I thought you may like it) @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames

Note: Thanks for joining the event and loving my works. I love interaction so please do tell me how you all like my works.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT UNDER THIS POST 18+

*under the cut*

🏆

Boxing Clubs? Are you really interested in them? No, not really. Your opinions don’t matter to your friend who is really jumping around like a fool in your bedroom for finally getting the tickets for herself and you to watch the tomorrow’s event of the Django Boxing Club. You have heard about the boxers in your town but never got the interest to dive deeper into the information about them. Your friend has mentioned her favourite’s name a lot in your conversations but you only pretended listening her.

“When are we going there?” You asked her in a bored tone contrast to her over-excited self. She stopped jumping and sits beside you, resting her palms on your shoulder and turning you to face her with excitement overflowing her eyes.

“Finally, I am going to their special show and even with you. I would probably faint there when seeing them that close but you will catch me okay! We will hang out to nearby café before and then we will go the event’s place. It will start at 9 o’clock.”

“No way! We will be out there late at night.” You didn’t expect to be a night event, you never been to any place at late night so you are a bit conscious right now.

“It’s okay Y/N. Many audiences will be there and it would be pretty much crowded to become somebody’s target for bad intentions.”

“I don’t know how to not worry but please we have to come back as soon as possible after the show ends.”

“Deal. Anyways I’m heading out for my home because I need to get a proper sleep today’s night even though I know I can’t sleep knowing I will be meeting Sa-“

Suddenly a ring interrupts her statement. The call was from her boyfriend asking her when will she get back home. She hurriedly makes her way out of your apartment waving you a quick farewell for the end of the day and you smiled in return to see her so excited for every little thing in her life. Maybe, you should also date someone then it would make yourself a little bit more interested in life.

Preparing yourself to the bed, you are still lost in thoughts about tomorrow’s event as to what can happen there. Not that you are expecting something worse but as you never been to such places and also late at night, you are a bit confused and overthinking.

————

Next day, early in the morning, your sleep got disturbed by a call from your friend to remind you about the events for the later in the day. You spent your Saturday morning as usual with treating yourself a nice healthy breakfast and cleaning stuffs all around your apartment.

Afternoon comes with the arrival of the exciting-self of your friend. Looking at her, you realized how she always dolls her up for every little occasion and being excited for her favorite stuffs. Where on the other end, you are always so bored with your usual plain life and dress up in casuals with no make up and all. Shaking your head to let this thought out of your mind, you picked up an outfit of a baggy pants and an oversized t-shirt.

“Are you wearing that?” your friend made a disgusted expression on your choice.

“Yes. Why? Is there something wrong with this?”

“Of course. Everything.” She moved you aside and starts to rummage through your closet and chose a light pink shirt with a white sketchy skirt. The skirt has a descent height to cover your thighs properly but to you the outfit is a bit too scandalous for the event.

“I’m not wearing that to a place where there will be lot of boys and men.”

“Its not like I’m asking you to wear revealing clothes to attract boys but atleast wear something girly please and perhaps this will look good on you maybe you will get a boyfriend for yourself there.”

Trying out the outfit, it reveals not that bad to wear to such events and eventually you agreed on it with her. You leave your wavy mid-length hair open and put some lip tint to go with the casual look.

Feeling of refreshment hits your body while walking along the side of the streets with your bestfriend. Maybe you should go out often to such exciting events or you will die of boredom in your room someday.

————

You spent your evening quite nicely with your friend in the café and later hanging out in the nearby mall. It was a thirty minutes way to the club from the mall so you left at 8:00 pm. Due to traffic, you both reached the place at 8:45 and on arriving, you could see how these events actually look like. The place is not bright enough to read the posters in the alley to know the information written on them. The club is situated at the end of the alley and while making your way towards it, you can feel people spread in the alley are eyeing you both up and down which making you a bit uncomfortable but your friend reassures you repeatedly not to mind them because they always look at others in that way. Reaching near the club, you could feel a lot more girls are there which made your anxious self a bit calm. The girls were either in groups of two or many but all were immersed in some exciting topics and with posters in their hands.

“Take this. This is a cheering board. I have only two hands so I can’t hold this and I will be holding these two photo sticks.” She shows her two sticks with one having a picture of an attractive male and other one with a name written on it, ‘Choi San’.

“Is this your favorite boxer?” Taking the cheering board from her hand on which is written,

‘I am cheering for you so do your best Choi San.’

You chuckled on her hardworks on making all these for the event. To your question, she nods her head aggressively with a big smile on her face. You both look towards the entrance finding out that the people have start entering the club because it’s already the time for the start of the event. Not realizing what to do, your friend dragged you hastily inside to get a better place for the best view to the show. Fortunate enough, you both got the front row from where you can see the ring of the wrestling show from an eight feet distance and the bright lights above it is making the surrounding view of the ring clear as well.

“Y/N! I swear if you don’t fall in love with the wrestling shows today. Just have a look on San’s match.”

Nodding your head reluctantly, your gaze focused on the various displayed posters around the ring of San. In every picture, his intimidating sharp eyes with a slick jaw is making you attracted towards him. His black hair complimenting his look even more and now you are hoping to see this individual in person soon. You look to your side to find your friend busy texting her boyfriend and so you start to look around to get in the surroundings more.

The place is only brightly lit in the center where the stage ring is situated so that every audience can have the clear view of the show. To the end of the ring on your right, a table where two judges were sitting and discussing something between them. Behind them, a man was standing who caught you staring there and then he smirked at you while checking you out all over. You shifted in your place and he shook his head and turned back to enter a door. Creep!

To your back, some were either sitting or standing but everyone has an excitement in them with energetic self for the show. You were looking at each person to recognize whether you know anyone or not when suddenly an announcement brought back your attention towards the center.

“Hello, everyone. Welcome to Django Club’s Night Show. This is the most anticipated show for you all and us as we know our boxer Choi San of our district will be competing against the State’s most renowned boxer Johnny. Let’s begin the show and cheer for them.” Everyone cheered on the end of the announcement and not to think otherwise but suddenly you were also excited for the show.

The cheering went wild when San entered the ring, one hand holds the middle ring rope tightly to make a swift entry from beneath it. His other hand is adjusting his white sando on his sweaty body. His muscles are well reflected for the sweats under the bright lights, looking like a fresh exotic meal served in a 5-star restaurant. Oh gosh! What the hell are you imagining now.

The stage is made of wood plank so his sudden steps made a thud sound and your friend is grinning for the excitement to see him so near. There are four steal beams in the corners of the ring stage covered with foam padding and a canvas mat is covering the wooden plank with a fabric skirt on the elevated sides to cover and prevent the spectators from seeing underneath. He made his way towards the bean on your left to lean his back on it when his opponent entered the ring from the other side in a similar way and the cheering from his end was also quite loud. The man whom you saw before behind the judges appeared again but he is having some deep conversation with San. He is whispering into San’s ears and you were squinting your eyes to know what is going on.

Oh girl! The moment that mysterious man turned around and all he found out is you being interested in his private life. He smiled at you and you got startled on this sudden interaction. He tapped on San’s shoulder and again whispered something but now they both looked at your direction and both of them having dirty smirks on their face, while San is smirking with a dark expression and the other one with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Your wide eyes quickly look over your friend, who turned towards you the same moment.

“Have you seen them looking in our way?”

“Yeah, I have but who is that man standing behind him?”

“That’s his manager, Jung Wooyoung like I have heard they are best friends more like brothers but whatever decision one has to make, they always consult with each other before hand. The manager is quite popular among girls because of his flirty nature but as far as I have heard that they both are single so you can have a chance.”

“Shut up! What the hell are you even talking about? Me and them? Never is this happening in this lifetime.” You hit her arm and both focused on the match which has started with San punching Johnny directly to the jaw and making the man stumbled to the floor. Everyone cheered on the act and your friend literally stood up and started jumping. She made you hold up the board a bit higher and then she is waving her sticks to cheer. The match was going quite well for San’s end because he was on the winning edge and now it’s the time for the last round. San is leaning to the beam same as before and Wooyoung came up to him with a bottle to give him some drink. They were talking between themselves when suddenly they abruptly turned their heads towards you. You thought at first that they were looking at someone else but you could see his lips were moving as if he is reading out something.

“Y/N he is reading the cheering board you are holding and see everyone is staring at us.”

Okay! So, all this time, you thought they were having those little interactions with you but it was only them looking at the audience cheering boards and posters. Maybe you are really overthinking. But why are you feeling a bit disappointed on knowing this!

The last round started with a loud whistle followed by the cheering sounds from the dimly lit place from every corner of the club. At this point, the atmosphere is little bit a mixture of smoke and alcohols and even you can hear people betting money on the contestants in a small corner of the club. Suddenly, San made an eye contact with you and you were doing your best to not think it that way and can see his opponent approaching him when he suddenly got a hit on his face and falls to the ground. He closed his eyes on the impact and resting his body on the knees and on two palms to take deep breathes. Panic starts rising your mind as if you are feeling guilty of the cause. You were looking all around to see whether any eyes are accusing you or not but all you could find is eyes focused on the stage and a wave of disappointment washed over the audience.

“What the hell! Where was he looking at?” You look over your shocked face.

“Maybe something distracted him.”

“But what?”

Me? Oh no! it can’t be even possible. This is your first time coming to this sort of shows and probably they have seen lot more beautiful girls in their life. Your eyes travelled back to the stage where san is now wiping the drop of blood from the corner of his mouth and also you can see a cut on his forehead which might be causing pain to him. You failed to notice all this time after the hit, Wooyoung’s gaze was all focused on you and following your every action. San glance at your direction and punched his opponent in such a way that the man couldn’t hit back and didn’t have anymore energy left. San’s white sando is fully drenched with sweat and his squinted sharp eyes are focused on the man before him when he pressed his elbows one on the neck and the other on the lower back to restrain him from getting up and with the time up, San is declared to be the champion of the show.

The digital board above the ring displays

‘ Choi San The Winner 🏆’

You smiled on the result and as expected your friend is shouting his name on top of her lungs. You calmed her down and looked to your phone to see it’s almost 11 at night and urged your friend to head home. San is staring at you while receiving the prize and you hesitated to look that way. You friend is still not willing to go back home but people emptying the place indicates you should head back soon before any worst thing happens.

————

When you both were about to walk out of the exist, a voice made you stop.

“Hey you girls!” a high-pitched voice calling out in your direction so on turning your head, you found out the manager is on the stairs beside the front row and looking in your way. Your friend smiled towards the man and he winked at her. He comes near to your presence.

“Hello girls! Myself Wooyoung, you can call me Woo in short. I have something to ask and that’s why I made out some time to speak with you.” All this time he is speaking, his gaze was focused on you.

Your friend happily introduced herself and you as well in which he extends his hand for a shake and before you can give in your hand, your friend shakes his hand aggressively. You and him chuckled on her excitement but he suddenly spoke up.

“Well! Can you stay a bit longer? I have something to ask.” You and your friend looked at each other in confusion as to what this man has to talk about.

“Us?”

“No. Only you.” He is directly staring in your eyes.

“We can’t stay here further because its too late for us to stay outside and even in this place.”

“Hey Wooyoung!” A familiar voice calls out from behind you all and you all turned towards it to find out your friend’s boyfriend Yeosang is standing at the doorway. Your friend run towards him and hugged him tightly and then they both quickly exchanged greeting kisses. They walked to where you and Wooyoung is standing.

“Yeosang? Do you know them and is she your girlfriend?”

“Ah yes! I never introduced her to you because I knew how crazy fan she is of San. She would probably leave me for him.” They both laughed and your friend hit him and yeosang turns towards you to give you a smile. “And she is her bestfriend. Her name is Y/N.”

“Oh cool! I was going to ask her to come help me with something and now when we all know each other then it would be much easy.”

“Help?” You watched how Yeosang and Wooyoung exchanged glances as if they were silently communicating between them. Wooyoung’s expression become dark and Yeosang laughed lightly, “Well we are leaving as am taking her to my house for tonight and I suppose you can help him. Trust me you are safe with him because he is my bestfriend and also knows how to fight well.”

“Y/N I trust yeosang so if he is assuring you on this matter then please trust him for me.”

Your thoughts are debating on whether to trust them or not but deep down you want to escape the boredom of your life and experience something thrilling so you accepted the offer. Your friend and her boyfriend took a leave and you know well what is their plan for the night so you just chuckled and turn towards Wooyoung with raised eyebrows to know why you are here exactly.

His gaze is on your legs and you just brushed your skirt to show your uneasiness for his act. He quickly looked up and grinned, “You are really pretty but you should not have worn this dress which is apparently looking too good on you and getting the attention it needs.”

“Thanks but I don’t usually go out and that’s why I thought to wear this maybe don’t know when again I would get the chance to wear it again.”

“Never.” Wooyoung whispered but when he saw your confused look, he quickly spills out the reasons to keep you here.

“Well Y/N, you did notice how San got the punch there and do you know why did that happen?”

You shook your head when suddenly he came forward and slide his hand around your neck to pull you closer, “Umm Wooyoung….”

“Yes?”

“Why did it happen?”

“Because of you. Your pretty face was distracting my boy and it leads to him getting a punch.”

“Me? But I-“

“You are not sorry for that?” you shyly look down but his other hand grips your chin to face him.

“Are you not sorry for that?” You nodded and he smiled when his gaze moves down from your eyes to your pink lips.

“You need to repay for that you know so come with me to our van and clean up his wound. I hope you won’t deny this.”

“I am sorry but I need to go home.”

“I will take you back home only when you help my boy to clean his wound and pain.”

Your eyes taking in his look, he has a sharp facial feature with veiny neck which is revealed due to his black and white Versace-Greca printed shirt which has three buttons open from the top revealing his chest teasingly with a black baggy pant. You quietly agreed with him and he took you to the backside of the club to a darker alley where on one side a van was parked. Every step nearing the van is making your heart beat faster and also being so close with wooyoung is not helping the situation.

————

Coming to the side of the van, he moved away from you and entered the front passenger seat. You are following his movements to contemplate the situation accordingly. You can only see him turning back inside and removing a curtain separating the back portion of the van which is almost like a travelling mini room with a quite enough space for two persons to sleep and also rest of the space to hang clothes and keeping all necessary place. These were not visible properly so out of curiosity you were leaning a bit forward to see what was inside and suddenly you meet San’s eyes, he smirks.

Wooyoung came out and holds your hand to take you to the back of the van. He opened the door and signalled by his head to you to enter it. The yellow hue light coming from inside the van is the only bright light in that alley right now and then when you looked inside, you can see everything clearly what you were imagining from outside and out of all things, the most eye catchy to you now is that San is sitting leaning his back to the driver’s seat staring at you.

“Hi sweetheart.” The way he said the nickname to you is so seductive and the deep voice is making the nickname a sweet venom from his mouth.

“Ummm Hi….” You entered the van and quickly sit on the seat which is taking the half side of the van to whose other San is sitting. The seat is in a somewhat shape of a sofa which can fit almost two people to sleep. Next in the way, Wooyoung entered the van and shut the door.

“Help me.” He is not asking you, this way he is totally commanding you so you quickly asked them for the necessary medicines and cotton and water and lastly the bandages. His black loose leathery pants are matching with the way his sweaty muscles and neck are shining under the yellow light seems like a smooth buttery material is wrapped around his skin.

Wooyoung provide you with all the things you asked for and you scooted near san to start clean his wounds but his hands pull you close and made you sit on his lap while his one leg is folded to make you sit on it and the other one is spread in front and near the feet, Wooyoung is sitting eyes bored in his phone.

“You need to come closer to take a proper look at the wound.” You want to scream for this close proximity but keeping your mouth and mind shut, you just nodded on his words.

You are so immersed in cleaning his wound, you didn’t notice a small smile on his lips and the way his hands moving upward to caress your back. The sudden touch made you shift in your place and when you look at his eyes, they are still closed. You brushed off the feeling and continue doing your work when his one hand grabs your neck tightly but not much to make you uncomfortable and the other hand holds your hand which was resting on his shoulder. You stopped what you were doing.

“Did I tell you to stop?”

“I a-am do-doing it.” You know he is up with something but a tingling sensation inside you is making you excited and let him to do whatever he wants.

“What happened? Is there something making you uncomfortable?”

“……no.”

“Then continue.” You resume your actions but this time his hand holding your other wrist leaves it and put it on your knees and sliding them upward in the way folding your skirt slowly revealing your thighs and the grip on your neck tightens. This cause you to scratch the wound a bit.

“Ah!” your and wooyoung’s worried eyes looked his way. Wooyoung asked him when taking his and yours position precisely, “What hurt you again?”

“Nothing Woo, just someone is being a bad girl here.”

“I’m sorry but……” But? What will you say? That your damn hand is distracting me and now you have to repay me for distracting me from my one-night healer job? You remained quiet.

“But?” Woo asked you from behind so you turned your head to see him smirking.

“I think she is not willing to help me with this so maybe she can help me with something else.”

“Huh?” You didn’t get what San is referring to when he suddenly make you sit facing Woo and leaning your back to his chest. You tried to sit up but he grabs your throat lightly and pressed your torso down.

“Woo why don’t we celebrate the night in our own way?”

“I’m liking the celebration already.”

“Celebration?”

San whispered in your ears, “You are going to help me in this celebration or you are not getting home tonight. I know your body is also aching with the excitement for this.”

Wooyoung scoots near to your figure and he unbuttons your shirt revealing you in a white bra underneath it. His hungry eyes scans all over the exposed part and in action your hands moved to hide them but got held back by San.

“No need to hide this prettiness from us.” Your eyes following how wooyoung shifted your skirt a bit upward to reveal the dark wet patch on your panty.

“San she is already so wet for us.”

“Mhm….She is equally excited for us to devour her as she is our main dessert for the celebration for my win.” His hands slide down your shirt from the shoulders to prepper your neck and shoulder with wet kisses and biting on some places. You whimpered when he bit you near the ear and then he got to know that is your sweet spot so he repeatedly bit you in that region. Meanwhile, Wooyoung slide down your panties slowly and removing your shoes in the way. He placed himself between your legs and him sitting on his knees holding your knees apart to view your folds.

“San I want to taste her first. I want to taste whether the dessert is as delicious I have expected or more than that.” San chuckled on Woo’s dedication and paused on his way of devouring you. He grabs your chin and made you look at him, “Woo please eat her out and I want to see how long she can keep her little mouth shut from us.” Then San kissed you, a dominating kiss and when he said you are their dessert, he really meant it because the way he is sucking your lips and then he bit you to open your mouth and obediently your mouth opened to which his tongue exploring the inner mouth all over. Wooyoung’s tight grip on your inner thigh and his hot breath fanning over your folds made you alert of his presence between your legs and your exposed parts.

“Mhmmmm” this is what you could manage to say between the kiss when your aching heat comes in contact with wooyoung’s hot breathe.

Suddenly, Woo takes a long strip from the lower regio to the upper fold and this made your body arche but held back in place by San. San detach his lips from you to look at Woo and you also followed his gaze to see him looking upward with lust in eyes and your leaking arousal on his lips.

“She really tastes like the most delicious dessert than I ever had.”

“She tasted exactly the same up here as well.” San replied to agree with Woo.

San pushed your head on his shoulder when his one hand grabs your throat and the other one on your thigh. His mouth attached with the side of your throat to suck on them. Woo is sucking your folds as if that is his favorite dessert he got after years and this is the last time he has his hands onto. The overwhelming sensation is causing to building up a knot in your stomach and you close your eyes tightly to keep yourself enough with the feel of taking you to the edge.

“San….Woo….”You breathily moaned and then San spoke up. You gripped Woo’s hair tightly making him grunt in pain and pushing his face more inward while the other hand is gripping SAN’s thigh, almost your nails digging in.

“You are not going to cum unless we are satisfied enough to let it loose.”

You shook your head as it was already too much for you to control and now his commanding voice is making it impossible to hold it in. To your disapproval san’s hand travelled down to your clit and starts rubbing circle adding to the already stimulated region.

“SAN!......please no….please….I want to….”

“Should we stop?” Your ears are taking in the wet sounds of woo sucking your folds and San’s wet kisses on your throat but his words warned you.

“NO.”

“Then take what we are giving or else we are leaving you here.” You are totally whimpering under the touches and sucking of two males. Woo’s grip on your thigh is making a read handprint and while san’s other hand is messaging your covered tits and one is rubbing circles. Woo’s tongue entered your wet folds and San inserted one finger into the hole making a sloppy sound. Thrusting of tongue and finger is too much for you and keeping you on edge for so long is making you overstimulated with the sensation.

“Cum.” San’s whisper sends an electric wave to your body and you let it loose.

“Woo!…..I- I-…. San.” You are heavily breathing and you didn’t notice that San has removed your cloth covering your tits and woo removed the skirt from your waist. Woo tiredly comes up to take one of your breasts into his mouth and messaging the other one.

San again welcomed you to a more rough and needy kiss this time. During the kiss, San removed his sando and woo got up to free himself from every clothing from his body. You look towards Woo and then you see how well built his body is. Probably he also goes to practices with San. Woo smirked when he caught you staring at him.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Do you need one?” Why is this man suddenly interested in my private life? I mean I know I am having nothing to hide here at this point but still.

“ I don’t know.”

“ But we know.” San suddenly interjects between you and Wooyoung.

“What?”

“You don’t need boyfriend anymore when you got us.”

“Us?”

“Oh Y/N, our sweet dessert. The moment we saw you in that cute pink outfit, we were determined to make you our only dessert.” Woo made his way near both of you.

“Moreover you are my fan.” San spoke from behind when Woo took you from him to hold in his embrace and facing you both towards San. Your eyes following him how he throws away his pants and quickly get off his boxers revealing his hard length to you.

“I’m not your fan. I just came here to accompany my friend and that’s how you saw me holding that sign board.”

“That’s pity that you are not a fan of my boy but you are still my girl.”

“I’m not your girl.” San quickly made his way in front of you holding you tightly to enter your entrance. His length teasing you and Woo’s hard length poking in your lower back from behind making you anxious to feel them inside you.

“Look at me.” Your eyes quickly look up to meet San’s eyes.

“Have you done this before?”

“no.”

“We will keep that in mind but we won’t go easy on you .”

“We?”

“We both will enter you the same time and maybe then we will take turns if you can keep up.”

“ I don’t think-“ San entered you and his big length makes your eyes teary and san kissed away your tears and cooed you.

“Its okay sweetheart. I know you can take us. Trust us and everything will be fine."

You nodded your head on his words and he entered your entrance with ease again and his length widens your holes which cause your eyes to water even more. Your hands move upward to touch his abs and to feel him more close than already he is.

“SAN!”

His thrusts are sloppy and he is caressing your back and cooing in your ears to make you calm. He kissed away your teary eyes to make you feel the little comfort in that state. Woo entered you from behind and the pain for taking another length makes you to cry out.

“Woo..”

“It’s okay sweetheart. Take it. You can do it well.”

Woo added, “ I know you can do take me too.”

You made your concentration focused on the two lengths inside of you to make you at ease. You didn’t have sex with anyone before but you have taken off this sexual frustration off from you on your own. Relationship is a big deal for you as you overthink about every little thing in your life but tonight you let all of your thoughts to be aside and just go with the flow.

Their thrusts are sloppy and in sync with each other. They are praising you with their nicknames of their own, San is calling you his sweetheart and woo as his girl but the common name they have given you is ‘Dessert’. Why not because tonight you are their desert for the celebration for his win.

“San….Woo…”

You can feel a familiar knot is building up inside of you and their thrusts are increasing in pace. SAN’s thrusts are more aggressive and faster in pace while Woo’s thrusts are rhythmical and a bit gentle.

“You are so tight…agh…” woo growled and sucked on your neck.

“You feel so good wrapped around me. You are doing so well for us.” San praised you and pulled your hairs backward to rest your head on woo’s shoulder and then he leans forward to kiss your chest and gliding his mouth to one of your breast and sucking them hard and messaging the other in process. Woo’s one hand gripping your hip similarly like San to maintain his pace and the other one playing with the nipple of the one San is messaging. They repeated the same action with the other one in the same way.

You are a whimpering mess now and under all these touches with two males thrusting inside of you making you talk rubbish. Your are choking on your words because of the pain and also the pleasure you are feeling making your vision go white. Their pace increase and you are about to let it burst and you can feel by their words that they are also at their edge.

“SAN I’m about to cum. Woo please let me cum. Please San”

“Yes sweetheart. I know , just wait a bit more.”

“My girl. I will cum soon.” Woo thrusted deeply and after three thrusts he came. He rested his head on your shoulders and breathing heavily. SAN’s thrusts increase again and the sloppy sound in your entrance making you to let it go by any instant. Woo hold one of the breast and the other hand rubbing circle on your clit when he suddenly puts his lips on you.

“Woo….please…this is too much.”

“Cum.”

“San!”

You both cum together but he didn’t take it out of you rather sloppily thrusting inside you. The exhausted self of yours is very sensitive to this overstimulation but they didn’t stop their action until you all ride out your high.

“ my girl is the best and did so well.” Woo leaned to his back and let you rest against his body. San pulled himself out of you and pulls a cloth from nearby hanger and wiped your face. He threw that cloth away and take you on his lap and embraced your body as if protecting you from the whole universe.

“Sweetheart you did so well for me and for us. Thank you.”

“Hmmm…” San is rocking you on his lap. Woo sit beside him and caress his hand all over your body to make you feel at ease.

“My girl is so sleepy.” Woo caress your head lightly.

“SAN I need to go home.”

Woo asked you, “ Do you think you can walk?”

“It’s okay sweetheart. You sleep and we will drive you home later.”

“You don’t know my address.” Your eyes are hooded and can’t think of anything as your brain is still foggy brain.

“It’s okay I don’t need it when we can take you to our house as it’s also yours from today.”

Woo added, “ if we need your address then we can ask it from Yeosang.”

You nodded and clinged to San and your other hand hold woo closer to your body. San kissed you on your forehead and woo kissed you on the shoulder and pulls a cover over to cover three of you.

“Sleep my girl. We have so much to talk about tomorrow.”

“Sweetheart don’t worry about anything as you are now with us. We have to take care of you, our dessert who has melted with all the exhaustion and we are not letting you go now. Sleep.”

Maybe this is something you really needed in life. A life with these two about whom you didn’t know anything few hours ago but now they are the ones comforting you in their embrace and protecting you from the whole universe. Your life possibly can be better with them and maybe something more interesting the future holds for three of you.

You fell into slumber and them holding you close tightly in their embrace away from the whole world.

In the silence of the night, there is a sweet dessert kept warm. The happiness can only be ended on a good note with a dessert.

———————————-

This is my first time writing SMUT so please do tell me whether I should write further any smut fics or not.🥹

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