#and they just plan stuff w me anyway

[anaalnathrakhs]

i WILL show up to the trial day for the preparatory class tomorrow no matter how much i dont want to and after that i guarantee NOTHING

#broadcasting my misery #vent #this is a lie i guarantee i will keep tumbling through life appearing functional and melting down in the privacy of my own home afterwards #<- trying to jinx my naturally contrarian ass into taking care of myself for once #god i'm tired #i am. slightly peeved. #around 11am i was like ''i think i'm going to go home'' and my friend was like WHAT nooooooo what are you going to do at home anyway #and we ended up hanging out w another friend until fucking 4pm #and she was like oooooh guys i think i'm gonna go else i wont have energy tomorrow #haha bitch where was this mindset when i told you i was going to go home #i don't know why i keep like. telling people stuff like ''i'm [emotion] i'm going to [thing]'' #and they just plan stuff w me anyway #and like. i can't decide for them what's important or not to them. so i make an effort and i participate to the best of my ability. #but it KEEPS HAPPENING #OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN #it does not stop #i can barely keep the violent impulses down tbh i act like im on crack in public #bc if i dont walk around and spasm like an epileptic stray cat im gonna start giving in to the urge to dive under a bus or punch someone #i have nearly uncontrollable fits of hitting my head against walls when my entire life i was too chicken to do it despite trying to #i gained about fifteen to twenty fucking kilograms in the last three months #because i cannot fucking stop binging and EVERYBODY'S LIFE seems to revolve around food #my friends are incapable of hanging out without going to buy smth no matter at which time we get out of school #my other friends seem incapable of not checking calories VERY LOUDLY and calculating how much they lost walking around #my mom and i are home and awake at the same time abt two hours a day and one and a half of that is spent making/eating dinner lmao #im making the effort holy shit i am but i'm going to start being violent soon #i've started trying to strangle my cat twice in the past week i think #i'll show up tomorrow bc it's an opportunity and im not stupid enough to miss that by lack of self esteem #but really what is it good for #my friend isnt very delicate in her way to say it but she's right. i'm not cut out for being normal like that #i can sorta seem functional but you very quickly start seeing i don't know how to dress

[raycatzdraws]

ribbonwood

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu hyrule #(also zelda 1!!! but idk how people would feel about me tagging it since I used Jojo's design?) #(ya'll can always tag my gen loz art as LU (or as any linkverse honestly if it inspires you to think about your favs) and vice versa) #(I want to inspire you to think and create! If you see my gen loz art and want to add that to your headcanons or it changes how you think?? #take it! play with it! invite me to play as well haha!) #(not ocs but like- gen stuff??? ye go for it) #mom walked in and looked at the comic I was working on #so I started rambling about my plans with it and what my peers are working on and how cool it all is and how I want to have more of that #and she said “what a waste of time” #so I got loosey goosey with it :\ #nice exercise to just draw w/o doing guides or being careful #did this in like under 15 minutes! >:D #but anyways #I haven't slept yet so gn! #.. he's holding stuff in the wrong hands!!!! a #look up ribbonwood / redshanks trees! If Hyrule was a tree- this is it #I imagine zelda 1&2's landscape to be california chaparral!!! I'm really passionate about it!!!!! #check out the california chaparral institute's website -> chaparral -> chaparral types #it's Hyrule's Hyrule!

[klonoadoortophantomile]

random assortment of drawings i might as well post

#scribbles #ocposting #furry tag #gif #eyestrain #bright colors #the gifs showing up kinda weird i think thats just a thing on my end though #have noticed it happens a lot for me w transparent gifs on here. idk #gif was for a dta thingy btw uhhh #‘cowcheese’ thing is for my sisters weezer parody where theyre rats nd instead called cheezer #words on the one on its right are lyrics frm heres to you by zebrahead cuz it was stuck in my head.. #oh also the middle drawing on the first row of three was color picked frm the cover of phoenix also by zebrahead #first drawing i just made cuz i was messing w preset brushes nd thought itd be funny #long one w the four characters is.. little goody two shoes characters But Furries . lol #oh the one left of the cheezer thing was smthn i drew in class w my friends prisma colors instead of working on my actual art project #actually started that now its driving me crazy cuz i made like a million versions of the sketch messinf w the composition #and im still not sure entirely what i do and dont wanna include and also the actual paper im doing my final on isnt like. wide enough to fi #things in nicely 💔💔💔 also i never planned out colors like an idiot so im making that up as i go and avoiding it a lot aghhghh #giegue drawings are honestly just here cuz i think hes funny #sorry for the paragraph of tags i love talking abt things #uhhhmhmmh i kinda hate postint stuff most places online now ngl #i have so much more art i COULD post but it just feels weird idk #no one really interacts w my stuff much anymore anyways like idk <- this is jot me fishing for pity or disregarding anyone who does leave #nice comments i appreciate that stuff SO mucu it means the world to me. i just dont feel super strongly abt posting shit anymore i feel lik #i have much better peace of mind just leaving things to myself sometimes #as much as i like sharing things it just hasnt been convenient lately and also ive just been getting like.. very paranoid abt a lot of #things over these past years and the constant posting everything o. tumblr thing didnt help much #🙃 okay ill stop rambling now have a nice day

[averlym]

" just...come here. just sit here with me" (...that one scene from princess momonoke, click for better resolution)

#tw death mentioned for the tag rambles!! (sorry) #meme redraw gone wrong (high effort). don't ask me how i did this- i don't know either. consider this perhaps an AU of the pyre scene? #or more accurately just my internal wonderings visualised. sometimes the vibes from the implications don't pan out the same way #i also lost the original sketch somewhere in my papers. alas. i vaguely recall thinking this would be haha funny and then somewhere down #the line it turned to angst. other quotes that inspired this from the show were 'ily. i'm sorry' and 'i will always be so proud of you'. #smth smth they met on the roof!! vincent stops quincy from jumping off and then. vincent tries to die + eventually quincy kills him on the #very same roof. anyway the quincent death scene was spinning around for a bit in my head and out of the miscellaneous sketches this won out #wanted to play w the strong blue lighting + bg + silhouette things that you get w stage lighting // replaced the knife w vincent's scalpel #quincy is kneeling bc poses + idk why it's fun staging for him ;-; // also the proximity + intimacy.. // the pyre is also in the bg #but it's silhouetted behind quincy. i think the last quincy post made me associate symbolism (help??) bc as i was painting i was thinking o #angel wings ksdjfh // not to mention the halos. halos are always fun to paint.. shiny stuff... #and from the last vincent art. i guess the star and eye imagery carried over. hm. tried to get the quincy halo to match so its like a #rounder less spiky star? which hehe aligns w the sun vibes (that i??can't explain??) but more importantly here i was thinking about #binary stars for the glowy parts. two in orbit in pull to one another.. tension.. ue. also the glow for vincent goes to stabby eye so like #behind the face shown to viewer. meanwhile for quincy it goes in front of the face #and of course u have the downward linking implied line from quincy's tears +scalpel + glowy eye. #this is supposed to be rotatable.. in landscape form u can have either quincy or vincent upright (pov) + it should work both ways #//bonus stuff is vincent holding the skask w bloody hands + shadow looks like blood spatters. like it would if quincy did the stabby. #hhhh this is the most. confused i have been making a piece lately.. just toss in a lot of fun visual stuff and mix.. #if the rambling analysis here seems pointless and confused i think that's why. this is why u should plan out your essays o.O.. #oh. stuff i just remembered: the whole impetus for vincent planning his own death was so quincy would be happy / it's already #mentioned before quincy kills vincent that he's severely injured- vincent says it's fine- ig u could intepret it as a finishing blow? #hastened over the phaethon announcement- when they make the second announcement quincy looks up smiling until the admin gives it to #beatrix-he didn't know.. // <- so for this it's possible to infer that vincent wasn't very attached to living anymore.. hence why they look #more accepting above. while quincy is looking very angsty and conflicted. yeah.. // tldr! don't look into it too deeply it's a meme redraw #adamandi #quincy cynthius martin #vincent aurelius lin #tw knife

[liquidstar]

Oh fuck tomorrow I'm going to be a little birthday boy I keep almost forgetting

#it's probably bc i dont have specific plans im just playing it by ear based on how the newborn will be #(the amount of time I'll be needed w the other kids basically depends on how much sleep the parents got the night before lol) #so i dont wanna be out too late... ahh i miss the club bro i wanna go #i love kids just to be clear which is why i do this but i also think I've gotten any child rearing out of my system #so i dont want my own. in a way it's freeing bc my future will just be for me and i won't have to worry about this stuff long term lol #ah but if I'm free on the 4th theres also something else i wanna do so maybe i shouldn't get drunk anyway #maybe just wait for the next free day 🤷‍♂️ we'll see #I've been highover BAD though shit lasted until like 8pm the next day. and i had to take the day off w the kids #luckily there happened to be other family there that took over but dude it sucked. i remember trying to help them in the morning like #ok sorry 4 year old trying to find pants i have to lay down in your bed you can do it by yourself i believe in you #so. taking the day off was a good call for their sakes too lol #he was fine just to be clear he could've done it on his own either way. i was just unhelpful 😅 i promise im usually way more attentive

[lucky-draws]

started pokemon x again... my humble team so far

#pokemon #pokemon xy #drew the basic girl trainer as more like me but w the same colour schemes etc #im trying to just draw a wider variety of stuff like fill my sketchbook w stuff from games im playing or movies ive watched regardless of #it being related my “main” fandoms or not or even something i plan to Post or not....just trying to be abit cringe and free etc #anyway xy is like hm it's notmy favourite region/pokedex ever but its always fun to replay #i am aiming to eventually evolve my budew into roselia via the power of friendship.but who knows

[infizero]

hehehehehehehe

#serena.txt #friday night funkin #fnf #i will freely admit this is very rough LOL its my first time messing around w this stuff. but this is rlly just for me so i dont mind #still gotta compile a lot of the other sprites (tutorial; car; christmas; etc) #but the normal idle is finally done after a lot of work! #also saying right now THIS IS USING A PRE-EXISTING MOD THAT REPLACES PICO W GF. i just used those sprites and #combined them with gf's normal sprites. all credit to the sprites themselves goes to gottagetagrip on gamebanana #again this is rlly just for me so idk if i'd go about actually putting this up as a downloadable mod. esp since again its pretty rough #but if i do i will make sure to get direct permission from them (and anyone else i need to) first #anyways. yayyyyyyy im super happy im glad it didnt turn out complete shit. going to dedicate myself to getting the rest of it done o7 #also uhhh i guess if anyone DOES have an interest in one day downloading this for themselves let me know? #if there is an actual demand then i'll definitely plan to reach out to try and publish this. esp since then if someone wanted #to spruce it up a bit more they could LOLLL

[avocadoraisin]

i need u to know when reading that werepire comic i Gulped Audibly at the first panel of fangs like... i am only one man i can only be so gay (ur work is amazing pls keep it up xoxo)

hehee oooh they wanna kill each other so bad but know they cant because theyre both known figures & it would cause a stir in the investigation oooooohoho

guess theyll have to kiss each other about it instead oohoho

(thank you so much!! ;w;)

#been in awe lately at the amount of messages n stuff like ive said it before but this all really reminds me of back when i had an askblog #like a part of me is terrified of attention LOL but also most ppl have been cool so its been fun #im basically treating this like an askblog anyway the way people keep asking what Hoff & Strahm are up to and i just draw it #and come up w little comicy sort of thingy dingies and people seem to really respond well to them so why not #like i got one recently asking what theyd bring to a party and thats so funny i 100% plan on drawing it im just caught up w 100 ideas rn #as long as no one gets demanding like they did on the askblog sometimes LOL but no one is so its cool its chill #one time someone got mad that i played a video game for a week instead of drawing like jkdfjngfhhjkgfdnmb legend #anyway this tag rambling is getting away from me what was i talking about again #jenna shut up #jenna answers

[mattodore]

bunny moment

#river dipping #ts4 #theodore doe #echthroi #upped the opacity on the sclera overlay i use for him specifically so i could catch him doing this in game #he's soooo cute #i need to start posting more random screenshots of him bc i plan on going back and making a loooooooot of old posts private #especially the ones of like. theo before i fixed his damn hairline #i CAN'TTTTTTT believe i just let him go around looking like that............... sorry theo </3 #but i don't want his tag to be completely empty yk #really i wanna private most of my old posts… or just start my blog over from scratch minus all the core tagged posts and and stuff #hm. much to think about #ANYWAY................. i'm making this post just to say that i guess now that i've finished editing those pics for mattodore's little date #i no longer have an excuse not to go back to trying to retake these screenshots for those mattodore poses i made....... #WAIT. actually yes i do i have to catch up on kmik first #but when i'm done............. then it's back to the sims #which i've left open this whole time... thank you older brothers in stem for your contributions to your youngers siblings who want #your hand me down computer parts 🙏 my computer would be crying and begging me to put it out of its misery w/o you fr

[cosmogenous]

you guys im so fucking excited I could cry... i gotta call a bunch of ppl idek who to call next

[dallonwrites]

been both outlining and discovery writing with the nano project in a way to try and help both (outline all the plot/worldbuilding/lore heavy stuff so i have that all grounded, discovery write most of characterisation/backstory/relationships bc that’s stuff my brain needs the draft to process) and it’s been working soooo well for me but also with just How I Write most of my discovery writing occurs at the start and with litfic i can just easily store away those ideas bc i know how they’ll fit in but with this more speculative genre stuff i’m finding myself being like actually. i need to figure out how this ties in with everything else first LOL so now I’m thinking maybe i should have a process like draft -> stop to get my bearings -> draft etc until im deep enough in the story to not need that. the preptober worldbuilding and lore work was enough to really ground me in the start and im very happy with the first set of chapters so maybe stopping to refresh myself with that worldbuilding + tie in everything I’ve figured out (which has been mainly character relationships to the plot but also some new fun lore things) will set me up for the next set of chapters….if that’s the case then i hit 25k and that feels like a nice word count milestone that my brain would like to stop at but we’ll see !! other projects are calling me too !!

i deleted my nanowrimo account for separate Reasons but not having a bunch of stats for one project only reopened my mind to the potentials of nano rebellion….i have a lot of creative energy right now and want the end of the year to be fruitful in that so if me moving on to another draft project + working behind the scenes on this one will help me be fruitful then that’s what i’ll do <3333 anyway time to scour my 25k for excerpts i never shared

#this post was basically like a diary entry….I wrote it out and was like yeah this is the plan #we’ll see how much that adapts because the further I get into it the more I’ll probably lean to an outline #which. tends to be the case when I discovery write anyway #the most discovery happens at the start #I haven’t got this far in a novel draft but I’ve spent enough time with RR for example to know exactly how it ends #that story is basically outlined in my mind #that’s the thing w me most of my stuff has enough content to be outlined I just genuinely don’t like writing it down like that. idk how to #explain why but it’s easier to process in my mind and somehow I never forget anything lol

[craycraybluejay]

ok guys serious question and i want answers

my standard dose is 40mg oxy

if i take 2 perc5s, is there a chance itll actually get me high? i have no tolerance (recent use) but 40 is the sweet spot. is 10 enough? will it give a better rush if i snort it even tho the high is shorter or should i just booty bump. or bite the bullet and try to iv

#i dont actually really plan to iv but maybe sometime w better stuff thats not laced with fucking acetaminophen #i care less ab the phobia the more i care less ab everything else #will it feel good? yeah. so why should i give a fuck if it gives me a panic attack before it hits #anyway #will 10mg actually get me high enough to waste #and should i snort or boof #drugblr #questions #advice wanted #tw drug use #im not a dope addict dw i just love to partake when i get hella lucky #i promised someone i wasnt using anything but smokes but honestly who give a shit #not like theyre gonna drug test me lmfao #also i wont od so dw about it just tell me if its high enough dose and what gives the best rush other than iv #i mean i do have a lot of sterile syringes but i think its like hella dangerous to iv acetaminophen at that dose #sigh #if i had the money for a dope addiction id only have one problem and solution to worry ab #how peaceful #i wouldnt even be arsed to care ab dysphoria or abusive people or anything. id be gone. like i was dead but enjoying it #anyway thats off topic point is i want to know from someone who knows the chemistry or partakes personally

[guinevereslancelot]

is there anything worse than feeling like ur the only one putting any effort into all of your relationships. el oh el

#feels like this with all my friendships tbh #im like the only one ateting conversations individually or in the group chat #im the only one trying to make plans #(except when they make plans without me 😭) #ughhhh im trying not to be insecure and needy but its so hard bc it really does feel like nobody wants me around until they need something #and i cant even talk abt it bc first of all i dont want to upset anyone esp the one living w me rn #but also it feels like im already the one doing all the talking and i did share some personal stuff recently #i want to communicate and keep conversations going and open up bc we're usually all very supportive of eachother and share things #but i feel like im the only one doing that #anyway. #misery #this is a good problem to have compared to most of my life i've never really had close friends before this #its just depressing and upsetting #i was already in a pretty bad insecure place before all the drama lately amd hadn't shared bc i knew it was irrational #but now ita way worse and with everything going on i cant even talk abt itttt #i hate this i hate it #not to be bitter but i've been thinking abt that saying if you want a good friend be one and 🤨 #all my friends do is use me honestlyyyyy ✌️🤪 #they want a place to stay for free but can't be bothered to talk to me ever or invite me when they make plans with our friends lol #they're always begging me to put together these bonfire parties they like bc i have a nice yard but its a lot of work #and nobody helps me set it up and they begggg me to do it when the weather is bad and i dont want to but i do it anyway #then they exclude me from things #literally lisa simpson they're using you for your pool.gif #i dont even have a pool tho #anywayyy i hate feeling like an afterthought when im in the group and literally no one ever seeks me out unless they want something #and im trying so hard to be a good friend bc im just so glad to have friends but nobody seems to want me around or want to talk to me #and i dont want to be annoying 😭 #also im the oldest in the group but not by choice there's just no girls my age in our orbit #my only adult friends are middle aged and the only one im close ish to just moved out of state #anyway im not that much older they're mostly young twentties and im mid twenties

[troglobite]

oh right i have to actually plan for the game session that'll be on sunday

right

like i actually have to

make a plan

and mechanics

for combat

and other shit

HAHA WHOOPS

#don't fret (no one was fretting but me) i actually got a lot of idea generation and other shit down and started yesterday #i'm just eeby seeby today so i'm like i Do Not Want to go get up and start doing the nitty gritty planning #do i know what i want my mechanics to be based around? yes #DO I ACTUALLY WANT TO MAKE A FUCKING STAT BLOCK FOR THIS SHIT? NO! #i'm tie red :( someone do it for me #don't actually i'm so fucking obsessive abt details etc. that i have to be in control of this shit i am a nightmare #ANYWAY.....this is me rambling trying to convince myself to get up and go do game planning #gotta make some stat blocks #gotta familiarize myself w the stat blocks that i didn't make #gotta write down the specifics of the stuff that i outlined already #adlsfjalsdkfjalsdkfj........

[astrxealis]

made a deal w my mom and i'll be able to get bg3 tomorrow oh my fucking god

#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚ #i was planning on waiting until i got a better pc/ps5 BUT THEN I REALIZED THE GAME IS ALSO ON MAX #MAC* #AND I KNOW IT'S WORSE THAN THE OTHER TWO PLATFORMS. BUT. !!!!! #anyway i have two friends at school into bg3 sobsobsobs + my twin + my best friend who i met thru online/ffxic #ffxiv* #so it's been really nice <33 aagghh so happy #AND THE WAY WE ALL LIKE ASTARION LMFAOOO AND ELVES (? just not sure for one but he's the dnd kid so. slay!!!) #we all love fantasy stuff oh man that's amazing actually. you have got + etc on one side and dnd + etc on another and lotr + etc #and then me and my twin w way too much to count lol we're the common thread here in terms of fantasy medias #AND WE ALL PLAY STARDEW VALLEY TOO ..... oh god. they all like sebastian i think and i'm. what. the token Sam liker.

[mcdbutgay]

mcd aaron as a character frustrates me SO MUCH BC HES A GOOD CHARACTER IN THEORY BUT KNOWING HOW HE ENDS UP,,, WHAT HE ENDS UP BEING IS SO AHGHHH

i REALLY hate how they dumb down the characters in mystreet, like. i understand that mystreet is SUPPOSED to be a lihht hearted slice of life (at least, at the beginning. i don’t even wanna TOUCH myst s4-6) but REGARDLESS THE FACT THAT SO MANY CHARACTERS GET DUMBED DOWN IS SO FRUSTRATING BC THEYRE SO GOOD IN MCD.

katelyn, garroth, laurance, aaron,, aaron is especially frustrating bc i REALLY don’t like aarmau. i never have, and the fact that it essentially DOMINATES mcd/myst at a certain point is annoying. also the fact that he’s so mysterious and cryptic in mcd is SO COOL but then he only turns out to be some guy. GOD. i hate this stupid show.

then again i am only going off of what i remember, which is from when the episodes originally came out YEARS ago. i could toootally be wrong about a lot of stuff since im nowhere NEAR being done with mcd but still its nice to vent (currently on s2 ep24 as of me writing this)

#lowkey i dont wanna tag this post w stuff that will reach wider audiences bc rlly its just me venting but #ughhh idk. dont rb? i dont think this is reblog worthy in the slightest lol i just need to SCREAM #and like i said i could be wrong about SOOO many things but who cares its my mcd side acc i can do whatever and being wrong is fine lmao #its not like im spreading misinfo or anything bc i KNOW its true lol #anyway. #idk how many ppl read my tags but this doesnt rlly deserve a post of its own #i dont think ill be continuing the chibis as much as id love to lol #the zoeymau post got SO much attention and im forever grateful for that but im starting school soon and wont have time to draw for a while #i’ll still post obviously lol im not planning on going on hiatus again i promise #but idk i cant promise to post EVERYDAY bc homework n shit lol. also i dont always feel like watching mcd bc SHITS DRAINING AS HELL and also #i tear up every few mins bc of nostalgia LMFAOOO okay ill shut up now haha #ashe.txt