#anyway the certain way is UGH

[utilitycaster]

Feeling a certain way about how squeamish or angry many people are about genre-typical character death in actual play, vs how comfortable those same people are in openly wishing there were more depictions of violent misogyny and homophobia

#because death means the character is gone and can't be pushed into ships #but fanon violence towards women CAN be used to argue for a ship with few other merits other than a lack of that same imagined violence #anyway the certain way is UGH #queue #bit off topic but man i've been thinking about shipping culture a lot lately and so much of it bums me out #it's so clinical and transactional and competitive instead of being about the STORY (comma) MAN #like I like shipping but the characters exist within a story! it's all first past the post (kissing) and zero chemistry! #i genuinely think if you see two characters from a preview/teaser and immediately ship them there is something wrong with you! #like not medically/psychologically just like. i think fandom can hone your mind OR turn it to mush and that's Real Mush Behavior #i think shipping is genuinely fun and helps you think about the story in new ways but you must be open to it and so many people are not

[m1d-45]

Let it be known that I love writing fluff, and I listen to character audios sometimes. SO! I came up with a cute idea for sagau imposter au. I heard somewhere that Xiao's adeptus form is a bird, so I wonder, what kind of bird? And that got me thinking. Xiao being a little song bird, or perhaps even a cardinal.

Now imagine: while looking for the imposter, Xiao stumbles upon them sitting beneath a tree, just feeding some birds. Said birds are absolutely loving the attention since the creator of Teyvat is giving them food and love!

Xiao watches, rather curious. The creator he knows hates birds, because they always dive and cause problems for them. But now... these little birds have completely abandoned any fear they may hold for human beings, happily landing on the hands and shoulders of this supposed imposter.

So he decides to test something.

Xiao turns into a small bird and approaches cautiously. In his smaller form, he's vulnerable to attack. But the person before him doesn't try to hurt him. Rather, they smile and call him "little friend" as they offer food to him. In his distrust, he bites them with his sharp beak.

His heart shatters when he sees divine blood spilling from the wound.

He's about to fly away, get as far away from here as he can. He found the true creator, and instead of worshipping them, he bit them! He caused them to bleed, he shouldn't even be near them-!

His mind stills when they pet his feathered head.

They murmur kind words to him, apologizing to him. They believed that they had startled him, that he bit to protect himself. They forgave him, they felt no hatred towards him, no anger or disappointment. Instead, they offered some chopped almonds, hoping he'd prefer that over bird seed.

He sang for them as he perched on their shoulder.

After that, he did his best to secretly protect the creator he'd harmed. He would adopt his smaller form and sing for them when they felt sad, and he'd use his human form to guard them from a distance. Yes, it made his chest ache whenever they looked at him with fear when they saw his more human form, but the yaksha only shook it off. It only made sense that you'd be scared. He was a frightening person, one that had tried to harm you before. He refused to try and change your feelings towards him. He didn't have the right.

He would be content to sing for you as a harmless bird.

-sibling anon (sorry if this is out of character for him I just like the idea)

oh….. he’s so soft…..

xiao hovering near the edge of the crowd, at first, drawing your attention since he doesn’t seem to be eating any of the seed you’d passed out.

when he finally hops within arms reach, you reach to nudge some of the food next to him closer, only to quickly whip your hand back. the birds around (on) you all flutter at the sudden movement, but you inspect your finger, the blue blood of teyvat welling up. your instinct is to stick it in your mouth, but that doesn’t seem safe considering a bird bit it, so you dab at it with a napkin.

the bird cries and flaps his wings, distraught, and your heart hurts. poor guy, you probably scared him, moving so quickly.

you pull out some chopped almonds from your pocket. the plan was to have them as a snack, but now… you put a few in your palm and close your hand around it, reaching forward to gently run two fingers over the birds back.

the other birds in the area seemed receptive to that, and this one does too, calming down considerably.

you take your hand back, opening your palm to drop the almonds on the floor, nudging them close before backing off.

“there you go,” you murmur, as the bird dips down to inspect the food. “i won’t hurt you.”

you allow yourself a silent cheer when it eats one of the almond pieces.

you see the small bird fluttering around you often, always on the edge of your vision. it’s easy to identify, the purple patch of feathers on its forehead easily standing out, and you’re always certain to push some food over to it. almonds, not birdseed.

the bird is a dark blue-teal, the underside of its wings a softer blue. it’s like no other bird you’ve seen in liyue, something that quickly catches your attention.

you brush some dirt off you as you stand, noting the way the bird immediately looks up from its food, unlike the others, to flap up into the tree you were sitting under.

you crack a smile, carefully reaching a finger for it. you’re slower this time, cautious of its skittish nature, but it lets you approach. when you carefully pet over its head, the birds eyes close.

your smile grows, and you try not to laugh at how confused the bird seems when you pull your hand away.

“i have to go,” you explain. “the millelith… they’re getting too close again. i won’t be able to see you again, little friend.”

the bird chirps, nearly indignant, and you do laugh this time. putting a small piece of almond on the branch in front of it, you wave goodbye to the other birds, seeing the blue one hadn’t touched the almond.

you frown. hopefully it’ll be alright….

xiao watches you until you’re out of sight, and even then, he stays on the branch.

you…. he’d forgotten you were being hunted by the millelith. he’d forgotten the order to look out for you. he’d forgotten the qixing called you a criminal.

who could blame him? it was easy to forget everything at your side, when you carefully ran your fingers over his feathers, scratching at his jaw with the edge of your nail. yes, he was vulnerable as a bird, but it was easy to be vulnerable with you. it was easy to be open, to sing as best he could in this form, to allow himself close enough to see the way your eyes lit up whenever another bird landed on your outstretched finger.

xiao dropped to the ground, morphing back into his human form. predictably, the birds cawed and flew away quickly. he watched them go, his mind contrasting it with how readily they flocked to you.

you…

he turned to the branch he was on, to the small almond piece left behind. the small symbol of your care, of how you recognized that he didn’t touch the birdseed and instead offered him your own food to eat. normally he wouldn’t lower himself to eating off the ground at all, let along bird food, but almonds weren’t awful and you seemed so happy when he ate..

xiao looked back to where you’d gone, to the sandbearer trees swaying in a soft wind.

he allowed his form to fall away and spread his wings, taking flight on the same breeze that urged you along.

perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little while longer, if it meant he could spend that time with you.

perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little longer, if it meant he’d get to spend that time with you.

#m1d : [chats] #m1d : [secrets] #sibling anon #bird!xiao shenanigans #btw he’s pretty in character #you can add a dash of a ‘mysterious calm in the air’ if you wanna be certain but he’s oretty pretty good as is #also! let it be known that i too like fluff!! #< been meaning to write a piece based on hugs ppl would give for a while now #dilucs near the top of the list which is kinda funny considering the shit i’m (hopefully) gonna pot tonight #post* whoop #post-valentines day sadness #this got WAY too long #forgive the old format i wasn’t gonna try n find more photos of liyue than i already have #writing this was hell. thanks tumblr. i really appreciate you glitching out my drafts. #i’m trying to save my writer energy to wrap up dilucs piece COME ON I DONT NEED THIS #had to write this on the website version of tumblr ugh. dislike. #anyway debating adding this to the masterlist bc it’s… so nice… #the vibes….. immaculate…. #TUMBLR DELETED HALF MY FUCKING WRITING WHEN IT HIT POST WHAT THE FUCK #THIS IS WHY I WRITE ELSEWHERE THEN COPY PASTE TO THIS HELL #FUCK. IT WAS SO GOOD. WHY. #the last half of xiao’s part at the end is the bad shittier version of what i had written originally #i am bitter. but i guess i’ll have to die mad abt it. #ugh. #it cut off the last paragraph AGAIN WHY #hate. >:( #also mushroom anon send help one of my mutuals is doing a letter event in celebration of his 1k what do i do #ok it’s his 800 celebration but STILL HELP #whatever fuck it i’m done trying to get this to work #fuck it we ball

[a-small-writer-in-a-big-world]

I want Price

#I was going to say something like #I want him in a certain way #when in actuality #I just want him #in anyway possible #captain john price #call of duty #ugh

[civilization-illstayrighthere]

do you ever think about right after v kisses kerry how he says w dazed disbelief he wants this gorgeous moment to last forever to a dying man and johnny’s remark about ‘kerry never did get it. only one thing worse than unfulfilled dreams— dreams that come true’ and how quietly gutted he sounds and then you think about how how kerry’s always wanted to get with johnny and how kerry only romances male v because it unconsciously or not fits into that fifty year old want for johnny or do you do yo u… do you

#cp 2077 #johnny silverhand #kerry eurodyne #silverdyne #silvervdyne #‘johnnys talking about Kerry’s career’ TO YOU!! #i mean. ugh hes self-centered enough that even after all of Kerry’s confessions and admittance he likes the spotlight #sure. johnny can be like. hes lying lol he hates being famous. #this is a dream come true turned bad. which is. missing the plot of kerry exorcism of johnnys ghost #but truly kerry doesnt hate being famous #i think he hates certain parts but he likes people hearing him sing he likes the reach #and its far enough in the plot johnny has some empathy #and hes self centered but hes not stupid #and THEN taking into account those cut lines after v fucks kerry. oooooh boy. #if johnnys being self-centered its because his line is referring to himself because how long has HE been waiting to kiss kerry #and how horrible is this dream finally realized #as an engram in another mans body #anyway call me Pepe Silvia the way im making these baseless accusations and connections #im very close to being finished w my dark matter rewrite and replaying every iteration of the talk w kerry #made me feel things……..

[sillybouquetoflillies]

i keep thinking i rly didnt go thru that much growing up, but idk, everytime i tell someone abt my life, they say i did and kinda just like sit in shock abt it. am i just internet brained or smth, or am i just dramatic?? i rly dont think ive earned a lot of the symtoms of someone who was traumatized that i have. or maybe i havent been in a safe place for long enough to process things??? i dunno. maybe someday far away in the future ill figure things out

#i let myself sit n accept that i did go thru smth.. maybe that i didnt totally remember or that i blurred out the details of n idk #i keep feeling like an imposter n like i shouldnt be feeling it. i didnt rly like how ive been acting #but like also i let a lot of stuff out of the box in my brain doing that n idk how 2 put it back or deal with it #so now i just feel like a half untangled mess with 0 stability bc in that 'growth n discovery' period i realized almost everyone in my life #wasnt someone i wanted 2 keep around #so now its rly just me n my bestie that r close n i keep everyone else at arms length #how tf did i get on rambling abt this omggg #ugh i am srsly such a mess n i cant find the root n i think thats whats freaking me out the most #i hate not being able 2 explain why im feeling a certain type of way or justify it in anyway #i just wanna feel okay n stable n be a fun person 2 be around again!!!! #i wanna be completely independent but like.... everything is so expensive n i have no interest in anything that would pay well #i wish my sw stuff would take off but i think im too messy 4 ppl 2 wanna stick around n also i dont think im super attractive unfortunately #I DUNNO #i dont have any answers atm n its freaking me out #i either wanna figure out how to be okay with not having answers or to get the answers and solve my problems #n i also dont wanna depend on other ppl 2 solve them for me #i just wanna be a whole.. well rounded person who can take care of themselves n do what i want #while also being a cute puppy thats rly rly rly fun 2 play with n is super helpful n supportive 2 the ppl it cares abt 🥰 #i am so sick of these silly dumb messy fears n emotions that keep me stuck in boring ruts #i wanna go out n have my own fun n be my own person n stop being so scared of everything!!!!! #its okay if things go bad!!!! its just more stories 2 tell ppl!!!! ppl love my stories!!!! ugh i just needa put myself out there #i just needa find smth fun 2 do that keeps me around fun ppl #i just dont know what yet #concerts r fun but idk no one super interesting is touring here rn n i need smth more frequent #ok i think this ramble is ovr #im rly sry if ur reading this!!!! i love u vry much n hope ur having a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!

[johndonneswife]

someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck

#who is talking about this!!!! let me know #idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which #i was anticipating #and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before #but liiiiiike. #i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them #it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there #just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse #like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no #anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite #and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up #people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out #and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point #or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible #but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding #at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends #which i am so grateful for obviously #i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol #AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad #just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t #i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it #i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this #which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao #probably for the best #ugh whatever #again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know #meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone #AAAAAAAA i just want to scream #text

[thosetwofirefighters]

5 songs I’ve been listening to on repeat

thank youuuu @mooshkat for the tag!! ❤️

I’ve been rotating between all of endless summer vacation and Wisconsin since they both came out so really. count those songs as the whole albums hehe :))

no pressure @lilbuddie @shortsighted-owl @the-likesofus @wheelsupin-five @paqerings @the-likesofus @ajunerose

#Wisconsin is the best thing to happen to music in so longggg #the fact that it’s like. slightly above endless summer vacation in my mind is WILDDD #like. Usually no one can beat Miley for me (…to a certain extent) #(that’s actually probably a lie because like. I can never choose my favorite people lmao but anyway) #Wisconsin is everything I’ve ever wanted and I feel so in tune with all of the album #as someone who grew up here and left and then came back it is just. so fucking good #also one of her lyrics is a line I’ve written in a poem so like. we are SO IN SYNC and I may have sobbed realizing that #but I cry every time I listen to the album oops #centipede is such a bop too for what it is #also float??? hellooooo self love anthemmm #ugh and bad bandit just like. Gets stuck in my head in the best way #music #mine #me #tag game

[essektheylyss]

literally the primary benefit of being a writer is when you reach a point in a draft and suddenly everything makes sense and falls into place and it's so intensely satisfying that suddenly, for a few moments, you get to unlock shrimp emotions

#like holy FUCK the satisfaction #imagine the obligatory [sex is great but—] joke here #but like jfc for real. sex is fine. but THIS #like listen. I knew where it was going. it's in the name. BUT LIKE IT DIDN'T ALL CLICK #I do hate writing wizard research but my GOD is it satisfying when you figure out what all that research MEANS #like really it's just like. at a certain point you do have several threads and you're not sure if they're all actually relevant #but when it Hits? INCREDIBLE. #like yeah of COURSE the gun was sitting there to be used 50k later. obviously. #anyway with this high I'm going to bed. #I did get through over 3k! obvs not 12k. but that's cuz I started way late. #tomorrow hopefully I will start earlier. #and get through the remaining 9k lmao #(again. normal and reasonable goals.) #but ugh I really do wanna finish this chapter so I can edit both this half plus the rest of the tiefling fic. gah.

[musical-chick-13]

I’m...every day. Every. Single. Day. I get closer to making that video essay that will get me sniped.

#the essay in question is. of course. 'the ending to [redacted] really uh. wasn't actually that bad. if was perfectly serviceable actually' #ugh I need to find that thing I wrote on how [fan favorite character] is also a deconstruction of 'the chosen one' and that's always been #the point. and like. WERE there characters who I think had shitty endings that should have been different? yeah! #my son with ptsd who genuinely redeemed himself should have survived. the way a certain red-wearing fire priestess's death was handled #was um...really weird and rushed. there ARE complaints I feel like you can make. but they sure aren't the ones that the fandom at large #wants to complain about. my god I'm so tired. #and STILL. even taking my complaints into account. once again. the ending was fine. I sincerely and genuinely believe that. #ugh maybe I WILL make the video essay and just risk death I have a lot to say and I'm getting REALLY annoyed with people trying to #downplay all the cool things this show did and having a superiority complex over it (and indirectly calling remaining fans stupid) #ANYWAY -_- #salty mc13 is salty

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #storytime sexcapades #sadness is canceled. met a really cute cool dude visiting town for work and stayed up all night talking and uhhh. other things. #I really am so ready to move. I wanna be in a college town with community music groups and a larger visible queer population ugh. #anyway. the more I experiment the more I realize I'm actually definitely trans and I would like certain bits lopped off 😕 #I will literally never shut up about the connection between sex and gender. I'm sure there's some shortsightedness to it #because I'm speaking largely from my own experience with it. so obviously there's an implicit perspective bias there #but like. turns out when you're dissociated from your body it can be hard to enjoy certain body activities. #I'm mostly over showers now. it's way easier to see myself the way I want to be. still things I want fixed. but things are livable. #but yeh. sex is difficult when you're at war with your skin. #also. why do people do poppers. your head spin for a minute and you smell organic solvent for a while. my head spins all the time #like. “it's just like sniffing glue” bro why do people sniff glue I don't get that either“. #“it's like being drunk for a short time” I don't get why people do that either. #throwback to that time someone said I needed to not become an alcoholic and I just pointed to my four month old vodka bottle in the fridge. #idk. there's a use for it. alcohol is a CNS depressant and I love it for that. but only sometimes is that necessary. #anyway. I'm curious to try other substances but I fully expect to walk away going “eh. I don't get what the deal is with that”. #but we keep doing new things. for science. to learn about the world. and to become a more understanding person. understanding is everything #anyway. cool people do exist. I literally said that thing about not meeting people I like and the universe decided to be a joker about it #did I already say that we stayed up all night? sitting on the trunk of you car watching the stars on a warm desert night is a good vibe. #I like getting out of the city and finding a patch of desert to park in and just bathe in the night air. and it's better with company #the end. bye. I have an age of empires game to finish cause I paused it to go meet up with him. and now I have to finish it #ALSO. yeah I know.. vodka in the fridge. I've started putting it in the freezer just cause there's not as much room in the fridge

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

.

#*lays head on table* #my brother asked me to pick up some parts for him since i'm in the city during the week anyways #and it's way down in the south east corner of the city #literally there's flat fields around it its so on the edge of the city #and it'll be at least an hour round trip from when i leave here and when i get back #but shark week started today and I'm just. so tired. #and i have a test tomorrow that i haven't really studied for #idk that there is much for studying for it anyways because it's basically just id'ing info from a pressure vessel drawing #but my only other option to get these parts is to try to get them on my way out of the city to go home tomorrow #which means fighting through the city during rush hour when it's already a pain in the ass to get from here to my place #UGH. even having someone to go with me would be better than nothing but idk where my roommate is or if she would even want to go #maybe if i take the route that islike one minute longer i can get a bubble tea and have a quick walk through the bookstore before they cls #but even then it'll be so close to closing time that there's no guarantee that they'd have the pearls on hand if it's too late #cause some places just stop making them at a certain time so that they don't have much if any left by actual closing #ARGH. At the very least i can get a Timmy's #kee speaks #we don't talk enough about how close and close are two different meanings but have the same spelling #english is bullshit

[born-to-lose]

In my depressed era again <3

#for literally no reason ugh i hate it i hate it i hate it #probably a bad mix of overthinking and lovesickness again but what's new #i figured out why i like to do stuff until late at night until i fall asleep lol it's because i don't wanna be left alone with my thoughts #i guess that's why i could go such a long time without you know what... i always had lots of schoolwork to do and didn't have much time to- #-think about this kind of shit and once i don't have anything to do anymore i found myself in bed with a bleeding arm lmao #also let's call this my 'everyone i know hates me and my best friends despise me the most' era #still gonna stay up two more hours because i'm like a damn puppy who waits excitedly for their favorite person to come home from work #at this point i should maybe write all this shit in a diary but like. you know how my rambling posts start so y'all can just ignore #tldr i'm feeling like shit and i can't promise that i won't do something stupid again #i'm just too hung up on things that happened weeks ago but like what if it isn't actually ok now #also i know i'm too clingy and possessive with people i'm really close to but it's just my abandonment issues :( #and i know i fucked things up with other people (friendships and relationships) way too many times so i'm putting all i have into this one #still i feel like it's too much and too little at the same time idk i just Know when i really like someone and then i don't wanna lose them #but at the same time i often drive them away with my excessive love and attention because certain people are like some addiction to me #ok no that's too much already for now sorry #anyways i'm sobbing and shaking and feeling terrible and guilty #oh and unrelated but i nearly got run over by a car today 👍🏻 fucking hate drunk small town students in a mcd's parking lot #mel talks #tw self harm

[castielmacleod]

Run-of-the-mill flagrant w* shippers are awful and disgusting of course but god those Kripke era purists who literally salivate over how fucked up the Sam + Dean + John dynamic is and act like the most intellectual people on earth for doing so. And are quietly but very obviously into w* but not in a typical shipping sense and rather in the sense that they have a real and perverse enjoyment of abuse and emotional incest. Those people are truly one of the most disturbing and terrifying types of people on here.

#Tw incest mention #Tw abuse mention #Do you ever open a blog to block someone and end up glimpsing directly into hell #Like don’t get me wrong a w*ncestie is a w*ncestie is a w*ncestie but #I almost respect the people who are like “I ship w* because it’s hot” or “I ship w* because it’s obviously canon” more than #the people who are like “my viewing experience of this show is SOO elevated because I actually KNOW what it’s about #and what it’s about is an inc*stuous abusive family and that is the ONLY theme in the show and if you don’t agree #you are so beneath my intellect and will never know how good this show is if you don’t engage with the inc*st” #To be clear I flat out don’t respect anyone who enjoys fictional inc*st even slightly but somehow even within that #there are people who manage to earn even MORE of my disrespect than they already automatically had #Furthermore I don’t care if Eric Crimp Key literally tells me the show was supposed to be about inc*st to my face I will literally #never acknowledge or engage with that. And by the way I watched all 15 seasons and not once did anything #between salmondean make me uncomfortable in that sense. Maybe I just wasn’t paying close enough attention because I can’t stand them #But irrespective of that I really think you have to be a certain type of person to look at a sibling trauma bond and immediately #have your brain go to inc*st. Like. Could not be me #Never mind having your brain go to inc*st and then being like ugh I love that. How in the hell do you get like that #Anyway enough about that because I feel gross talking about it this much #But these people who think they watched the show the smartest but literally having nothing to say about the racism #or any of the other bigotries in the show and ESPECIALLY in the early seasons that they exalt so much #They literally only care for raving about and getting off to abusive character dynamics #Or so it would seem. #Anyway though #My posts

[badcountryofficial]

in every gh0st song i've listened to aside from mary on a cross . his voice annoys me sooooooo bad. sad!

#certain voice just. gRATE me idfk #reminds me of . fuckin. steampunk giraffe lmao #i can't even explain WHY #which is sad because mary on a cross is a fucking masterpiece it gets me SOME kind of way...it just...UGH? #except the tickle line . what is that #anyway

[duckyfann9871]

Exam over now I wait… in other news I found out the scores of my OSCEs I did last week. I passed 2/3 and all I can’t think of is that one I failed

#the thing is that I literally did the examination on the standardized patient to the T #and I failed because I didn’t state certain findi bc a a certain way #I’m so annoyed honestly #and like my proctor was rly particular about the way I reported findings #like honestly I’m rly disappointed but also I know I have a lot of room for improvement #I know I’m really soft spoken and tend to keep this bc s to myself or like think something and mean to say it #but ugh it’s like no cmon I do know what I’m doing I just can’t communicate it very well :( #anyways #time to go watch shows and cry. and maybe have a drink…

[snekdood]

i feel like this guy rn about "heart shaped box"

#you ever *get* the message something is trying to convey w/o being able to express what its trying to convey with words #bc thats been me for years at this point sdhjvfvghssdhvgsgfdhvhvgfsdhvgfsd #omg i just realized.... this is how i am w my comic........ which is why i struggle so much with outlines or describing why things #happen or are a certain way #im very much a.... 'visuals' guy rather than a 'describing' guy... its why im writing a graphic novel and not just a novel novel. #i can convey themes and symbols with my art but not my words #honestly i need to stop demanding myself to describe shit that i already know what it looks like. #like when im writing a script i dont need to fuckin describe the setting im gonna fuckin draw it once the script is done anyways #and no ones gonna see the descriptions but me aND I ALREADY KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE-- ugh #i hate that i feel the need to do that otherwise im 'not a real writer' or whatever tf. like idk maybe i just create in a different way #than you do jackass #being both a writer and drawing/painting/comic/etc artist means i get to do whatever i want w my writing fuck you #maybe ppl who cant draw hafta use more words but i honestly dont fuckin need to so fuck off w your pretentious bs