#anyway my imposter syndrome is: strong

[osoreruna]

i even narrate all might replies differently than toshinori replies 💀

#𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗠𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧 + [ OOC ] #tbd #them being the same person but not being the same person #but also one in the same #and how toshi once thought himself to *be* all might but later began to mentally separate the two as they physically began to #sever from each other...forming this massive crevice in his mind #making it feel more like an ACT or performance being all might in public #even though all might was foundationally built on the back of toshinori's core values and ideals and will always #fundamentally *be* toshinori — #toshinori is not always ALL MIGHT and i think that's what really...tips off the imposter syndrome scale when he realizes this. #hmm... #toshinori has strong feelings about all might. maybe one day i will be able to put those feelings into words. #i just thought it was funny...reading back over that last reply. #anyway — IT'S FINALLY MY WEEKEND !! my three day weekend ! #however ! my body hurts...and my brain ?? mush. so i'm thinking maybe silently working on drafts until i fall asleep... #maybe catch up on im's from the rest of the week. depends on how charged the social battery is tonight. #BUT REGARDLESS you should be seeing me around tomorrow !! #i know valentines day is passing but i've still got some things i'd like to reply to / answer related to it so i'll be accepting that #sort of stuff for the rest of the month :))

[demonslayedher]

Things that flew through my mind while watching this episode:

--For being called "Thank-you, Tokito-kun," Tokito-kun sure isn't in this episode much. Kotetsu-kun does not address Seaweed-Head with '-kun,' he addresses him with '-san.' Oyakata-sama addresses him simply as "Muichiro" in the flashback. Actually, I checked, and only Tanjiro ever calls him that. Is this going to be something Tanjiro hears and thanks him for later? Or has this whole series just been brief chapters in "The Legend of Zenitsu" and that is what Zenitsu titled it?

--Kotetsu-kun is having a bit of a weird night anyway. Brave boy--who, we mustn't forget, is a child who has every reason to feel overwhelmed--went off to get help so that Haganezuka's sword polishing would not be interrupted, and then he fought and nearly got eaten by a demon fish but stayed as strong as he could the whole time. But then when Muichiro starts carrying him and blasting forward at the speed of Pillar, I love that he's screaming his head off. I want a modern day AU of these two hanging out at an amusement park and Muichiro drags him on the big rollercoasters.

--And hey, look, another mention of how important it is not to interrupt that sword polishing process. You want that sword to get ruined, Tokito-kun? Remember that after all the effort you soon go through to protect Haganezuka-san. TO PROTECT THAT SWORD.

--Gonna right ahead to the end of the episode here and mention how Mitsuri is not at all like, "oh no, that's really, really bad" (which it is, that's why Gyokko targeted it), but "okay, watch out, I'm gonna do my best!" This is a girl who has found her true calling. She should give career advice. Does your career make your heart squeeze with excitement even in the tightest pinch?

--As a point of interesting comparison I'm going to come back to, Mitsuri's confidence is well-placed. She runs into situations that overwhelm her and she lacked confidence when trying to learn a Breath she wasn't suited for, but we never see her experience Pillar Imposter Syndrome. Besides just being extremely physically capable, she has picked up battle experience and it has become a part of her. This battle sense serves her very well. On the other hand, we have Muichiro who is not endowed with the same strength, but his analytical abilities are what make him a Pillar quality genius even before he gains much experience.

--Which brings me to Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Genya, the true stars of this episode.

--Look at these three, legit holding their own against Upper Moon Four. It is a wonder none of them died already. Ok, we have good reasons for why Nezuko and Genya haven't, but in Tanjiro's case, this is exactly what Mitsuri was talking about in episode 1 about how valuable Tanjiro's experience against Upper Moon Six was. Tanjiro has had a excellent gut for battle ever since throwing his axe in the air at Giyuu, and he's always been one to analyze a battle as he's swept up in it. But this is not the same Tanjiro who fought Kyogai! He is able to look for openings and weaknesses in totally different ways so that he can stay calm and relatively in control when fighting one-on-one with Urogi (using Urogi to fly back, now that deserves some flamboyant applause), and his battle senses have gotten strong enough to tell him that he might be able to protect himself against a demon's attack if he had the demon's own cells as a shield.

--Also, all those jokes about attacking Sailor Moon while she is transforming, or Goku while he's screaming and powering up? That is exactly what Urogi is going through.

--Genya, man, you might be coping with Repetitive Action, but you are living on spite.

--Now if only Rengoku could have learned a thing or two about not dying from gaping chest wounds

--Genya, since he fights with desperation, does not get many moments to look cool (badass, sure, but not cool-like-a-cucumber cool). That makes it's so nice that he got to strike that sword and glock pose while delivering the "I'm Shinazugawa Genya--that's the name of the guy who is gonna kill you!" line.

--Which means Genya just had the most Sailor Moon moment of this whole series.

--Sekido has good reason to be ticked off with his body-mates lolly-gagging instead of finishing the demon slayers off. After all, Muzan wants the whole village wiped out (and Gyokko is the only one getting any work done, with all four parts of Hantengu being wrapped up with these three slayers!). Aizetsu is like someone watching an animal die for the pure sadness of it. Aizetsu isn't exactly kind, though he is the odd one out among his body-mates, and I would indeed find it very, very funny if he could be convinced to befriend the sad humans (maybe out of getting some protection from Sekido). Sekido would be so pissed off about missing a critical piece of a more reasonable form like Zouhakuten, and Muzan would be pissed off as he gets this report from Sekido while Urogi and Karaku are running/flying amok.

--While I, being someone who has loved tengu for many years, appreciate the various tengu inspired elements in each of the four Ki-Do-Ai-Raku demons, I have always had trouble seeing it in Aizetsu. This is also why he seems like the odd one out to me. It's like, ah, yes, Sekido with the shakujo staff, Karaku with the bonten-kesa stole and hauchiwa fan, Urogi having the bird-like qualities of a karasu-tengu, and Aizetsu in a tracksuit.

--Instead of "half-tengu" wouldn't Hantengu's name make more sense as "quarter-tengu"?

--It's very funny that Hantengu's alter-egos all portray themselves on the side of spiritual mastery (by way of the tengu/Shugenja symbolism, followed by Buddhism-informed deity iconography, all of which is a whole different tangent of its own). Hantengu's own irony is too big to contain in one tiny body. But also, two crossovers I want to see, so if anybody draws them, please tag me: Hantengu & Co. as Father & Co. from Full Metal Alchemist, and Hantengu & Co. as the stars of Inside Out.

--I'll bet Sekido, as part of his anger-management in spiritual mastery, has agreed to stand by and give his body-mates a chance.

--Karaku acts like an overly pushy boyfriend. Learn from Nezuko, everyone. If a guy is ever giving you a hard time like that, kick his head off.

--Karaku wasn't himself in a position to be able to do much more, but his biggest mistake was giving Nezuko her opening. That whole series of moves she did there--well-placed and powerful kick, sacrificing an arm that'll quickly grow back anyway, throwing blood in Karaku's newly recovered face, and then using her fire as a distraction to reorient and physically overpower Karaku by twisting his arm off to perfectly use his hauchiwa against him, and then turn around ready to use it against Sekido--brilliant.

--Nezuko is not the same demon kicking around and getting her leg blown off by a Taisho soccer ball. She's also not the same demon desperately thrashing around a flesh-filled train. This isn't even the same demon curb-stomping Daki; she has mastery of this state now. Nezuko has peaked here with her battle techniques.

--...especially because this is last night she ever uses her demon abilities

--But!! Thinking ahead to Tamayo's analysis, Nezuko has been prioritizing other developments over reattaining her self-awareness, leaving her mind in a childlike state while she gains abilities closer and closer to those of Upper Moons, and finally masters the sun. However, Nezuko has also shown leaps and bounds in her awareness as well. Just think! What if we had a Nezuko as analytical as her brother this whole time? In all that time Tanjiro was asleep, perhaps Nezuko was also asleep, trying to attain mastery over herself so as to prevent another near mishap? And this gave her more ability to think in battle, as opposed to just attacking with her gut instinct? Nezuko is perhaps just acting on instinct when landing that series of moves on Karaku, but her instincts have gotten really sharp for how to save Tanjiro multiple times in this battle, and for using her blood to heat the sword, even if her idea was just "I'm stuck, take my fire and go." Whatever the case, baby does more than just slash and kick now and I'm so proud of her!

#KnY Rewatch #my art #kamado nezuko #and sorta #Kamado Tanjiro #Kamado Tanjirou #Shinazugawa Genya #Hantengu

[real-fire-emblem-takes]

To add onto my FE6 remake take, THEY SHOULD ABSOLUTLY NOT MAKE ROY A BETTER UNIT. His entire character point is that he is bad at fighting ! Gameplay-wise, he is suposed to be the king you escort to the finish line. Story-wise, it's an essential part of his character that feed into his imposter syndrom and his bad view of himself and make him standout from the rest of the lord in a very positive way

What they should change is making him an excellent support unit and giving him better rapier. Take Leif : stat-wise he is kind of a chump, but combine his good prf and the support he gives to half the cast and he is much better. Roy is the tactician of FE6, he is the guy ordering your unit around (this is why I'm strongly against the addition of Mark or any similar character when that firmly Roy role)

Anyway, I just hope the remake in ten years doesn't change too much. It's like the last game where sword are good, you can't just enemy phase using 1-2 weapons, four of the five fliers are not hilariously over the top, and you have to be a bit thoughtful about warp-skip.

I just don't want them to turn it into a modern game with reclassing when character classes are a vital part of their identity and have strong cultural ties. Or making it a skill fest and inflating the total stat and growth really hard when the game being a no additional flourish, raw tactical gameplay with lower statline is why I love it.

I just love FE6, love the sprite, love Roy and the large cast that is not just composed of teens and early 20s (there are five characters with kids, can you imagine it  ! ), and love the surprisingly dour tone of the game.

All it needs is some buff to the egregiously bad unit, music not constrained by GBA sound bank, rethinking the Gaiden chapter (yeah, those suck, point given FE6 hater), playable Guinivere and (gay) characters ending, and I'm good Any to conclud this ways too long rent, go play FE6. It difficulty is way overvalued in normal mode, the fan-translation is excellent, and you might be surprised by how different it feel (in a good way) compared to FE7

.

#story takes #gameplay takes #roy fire emblem #fe6 #fire emblem binding blade #fe #fire emblem

[sea-buns]

not really, but I suppose that’s just a difference of opinion. I do think that gorgug’s nightmare sequence was one of the weakest, especially with how it shifted topics (being dead, small spaces, not being able to escape a stereotype, because if any of these had been expanded on that would’ve been great), but I do think a lot of gorgug’s character revolves around feeling in-between, or too much one thing and not another and trying to close that gap. The best one for me was deffo the sphinx tho, I interpreted it as not *just* about him being dumb, but rather like. You’re big and dumb and strong and your main job is getting angry and hitting shit with an axe. You went to a community of gnomes and they gave you a better axe, and you loved it. You are uniquely dumb, unlike those who have come before you, because you cannot solve a specific kind of puzzle while a sphinx talks at you. You are the reason your parents cut contact, and from the beginning you were unsuited for their home. Your extended family predicted that you would grow to know only rage, and here you are, a barbarian. You, from this perspective, are not proving them wrong.

I do think that that whole sequence does reveal that he’s afraid of like. Being that stereotype? And then going yeah sure I’m stupid eat me, then moving forward and clawing your way into understanding anyways

Ahhh I see. Yeah I think I did misunderstand your first ask a bit lol

I did really love a lot of the topics his sequence brought up. Like I've read some incredibly well-written fanfics that covered the ways that claustrophobia, and imposter syndrome, and being dead have affected him. But like you said, if they had just honed in on at least one, rather than hopping back and forth, it could have done so much for that section. Cuz, personally, I don't feel like we saw Gorgug be significantly affected by any of those. At least not in a way that felt complete and satisfying.

I really like what you said about his character being "in-between". I totally agree. Kinda circles back to how his parents trying to help him calm his rage was actually stifling him.

Your family needs you to calm down; you've broken another bedchairdoorappliance. Your teacher wants you to rage; he says anger is good but you don't understand. You sing to try and calm yourself, you're always trying to be kind to others; they only use it to hurt you more and all you can do is get angry back. Your friends need you to rage. You don't have the power to protect them socially, but this you can do. You try not to rage outside of a fight, but.... they don't seem to be that bothered when you do. In fact, you watch them provoke physical confrontation when they're mad on many occasions.

(Oops dipped a biiiit into the pot of how important friendship is to his character. Did not mean to lol it's just one of my fav things about him so it's kinda subconscious I guess)

But yeah! He's also in such a limbo this season as well! You can't do this you're too angry, you're not smart enough for that, you don't rage right.

Also realllyy like your interpretation of his trial. The angle you described it at was really interesting.

I don't think stereotype is the right word, though. I would say... he's afraid of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy? I'm assuming based on your own "stereotype?" that you weren't sure about the word either.

I don't think Gorgug is, or would ever be, afraid of being a "stereotype". Like I don't think he gives a shit about the stereotype that orcs/half-orcs/barbarians only know anger and destruction. I think he's afraid of being a self-fulfilling prophecy of all the things people say that he is. Stupid, mindless, destructive, etc. To pull from what you said here (which it wont let me copy paste on mobile god fucking damnit)

"Your extended family predicted that you would grow to know only rage, and here you are, a barbarian. You, from this perspective, are not proving them wrong."

"Stereotype" for sure applies to his racist extended family. They fucking breathe stereotypes like oxygen. But the bit where his afraid of becoming what everyone says he is, I think "self-fulfilling prophecy" suits that much better. He believes he can be more than that, he knows he can, but it doesn't change the fact that they are technically right.

Okay and the giving in but then "clawing your way into understanding anyways" actually goes so hard lol. Anon, you are so right. From that pov, it's not so much a give up as it is an acknowledgment before he essentially puts the subject on ice.

Rings back a bit to the start of fhjy to me. That dread of seeing the email of school starting back up again, and the terrible sinking pit in your stomach of avoidance, because the time has come to really unpack all that. There was something specific Zac said in his little Gorgug recap before the season started that was about, like, the dread of having to figure out who the fuck you're gonna be when everyone around you seems to have their shit together. That. That hit hard lmao but the experience that he's covered is very true to Gorgug, I think.

I totally misunderstood your first ask! Though I'm happy you sent another cuz I understand a lot better, I think. And tbh I've never had the opportunity to discuss that section of fantasy high with anyone? I wasn't on tumblr or watching d20 when it first aired so I missed these specific topics. Always been v interested in what others thought of his part. Maybe I should put the vods on in the bg next time I'm play sdv. Give em a relisten. And man. The fact that I'm out here quoting your message brings me back to english class so hard. Shocked I don't hate it. Actually having a topic you give half a shit about does wonders huh lmao

Thanks for the ask! You have altered my perspective and I appreciate it. It's like how sometimes you gotta read something out loud to understand it. If all I have is the walls of my own skull, I can only get so far.

#i want ppl to send me more discussions this is fun #making me question my fucking future career choices lol #dimension 20 #d20 #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fantasy high #fh #fantasy high sophomore year #fhsy #gorgug thistlespring #character analysis #asks #anon ask #btw yall can also dm me if you would like #i do like the public discussion but if you wanted more in depth back and forth dms are open #i did not proofread at all i have food to get so apologies lol #edited to add a read more link cuz long post

[cocklessboy]

Over 2.5 years into HRT I still get imposter syndrome. I feel any hint of femininity creeping up on me and I push it down, bury it. I had femininity forced on me for 35 years! I don't want it anymore!

And I would tell any man, cis or trans, that there's no one right way to be a man, that men can be feminine or soft or emotional or cute. And they can be hard and strong and macho. They can be either, they can be both in one person. Most people are probably a little of both, regardless of gender, anyway! It's all cool! Everyone is different and that's amazing!

In fact, I love soft boys most of all. I love it when guys are a little feminine. When they're gentle and soft. A little girly. I'm fucking GAY! The fact that I'm NOT visibly feminine in any way actually gets in the way because other gay guys don't clock me!

But for over 2.5 years, I've been around people who knew me as a girl first. None of them rejected me outright or anything, but they all slipped up. All the time. They'd use the wrong name. Wrong pronouns. Other gendered terms. They'd catch themselves and quickly correct. I knew they didn't mean it. But deep down, some part of them still saw me as a girl.

And it still happens. All this time, later, it still happens.

I've spent all this time trying to be as MAN as possible to stop that from happening, but... it hasn't. It hasn't worked. The people who always knew me as a girl still think of me as one on some level. No matter how DUDE and BRO and MAN and GUY I try to be.

Meanwhile I'm holding back part of my personality. For what? To make it easier on them?

It's bullshit. I'm done. I'm gonna be a DUDE when I'm feeling DUDE and I'm gonna be a faggy little gay boy when I'm feeling like one. I gotta stop being such a hypocrite, telling other guys in my life it's okay to be soft, then burying all the softness in myself.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+ #trans man #hrt #toxic masculinity #imposter syndrome

[intheholler]

Howdy! I absolutely love this blog and am so glad I found it <3 Do you have any advice for reclaiming (for lack of a better word) your accent? Mine is all weird from years of codeswitching/trying to hide it, and now that I'm older and have more pride in where I come from, I miss that I don't sound exactly like all the other people from my area. Thank you!!

hi there <33 im glad yall found it too lol. welcome!

also sure! i was (am?) in the exact same boat :') so i guess i could try to tell you what's worked for me.

my first advice would be to try and stop being so critical about what you're saying and how you sound when you say it. easier said than done, ik, because obviously when you code switch, you are very aware of and careful about how you talk, but that's the very first massive block i had to work on before anything else.

so, the first thing i did was work on detaching myself from that need and not policing myself as i spoke. i tried to just let the sounds come out, especially my vowels. i always kept those real tight bc i felt like they're the biggest "tell" i wanted to avoid.

i achieved this by talking to myself in private to shake off that internalized shit that made me wanna disguise it around others in the first place. no one can hear you but you, so just yourself have it, even if u feel silly at first like i did. i dealt with some imposter syndrome-esque stuff about it during this time.

its gonna sound goofy, but for a while, to get ur mouth back in the habit of making certain shapes during certain words, start talking to yourself in an exaggerated form of ur original accent. like fully put it on lmao. maybe even heavier than the one you used to have. this helped my brain get reaquainted with my mouth.

then i started just actively listening to myself think and talk. there is the comfortable and familiar way my brain wants the words to be formed in my natural dialect, and then there is my mouth that stops it out of codeswitching habit. it took active work and effort to make my accent go away, and it's taking active work and effort to make it come back.

anyway, a lot of my pronunciations i no longer have to "actively hear" myself give, so i know it's working <3

sometimes i'll even say something, pause and mentally be like "goddamn, what the fuck was that that just came out my mouth" and then im like "oh right, that's me 🥰 hello again, me"

im glad you're ready to start reclaiming this part of yourself and i wish you good luck. it's surprisingly hard! i started making a conscious effort three or four years ago and mine is still not as strong as i'd like.

#asks #appalachian dialect #Appalachia

[ghastlybin]

Can I request an angsty DC 8th member fic. I just need to read more 8th member au's and I love angst

Word, thank you for the request!!! Your wish is my command <3 =)) By the way, anyone else reading this, PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS FIRST! I BEG YOU.

Pairing: Dreamcatcher + 8th member! GN reader.

Word count: 2k

Genre/contents: Dreamcatcher’s 8th member! AU, Angst, heavy topics.

TW: Depictions of depression and anxiety. Kinda heavyish on imposter syndrome, insecurites, not feeling good enough, etc. The Y/N struggles with mental health and imposter syndrome, for short.

Note: I think I suck at being happy but I did attempt a happy-ish ending but I also didn’t want to be like “hey, depression. Now y/n is cured!1!1” Because that’s not how it works, sadly. But I at least tried to imply baby steps to managing the readers mental health better in the future rather than hold it all in kinda? I hope? Also the dialogue at the end that isn’t spoken by the Y/N is up to your interpretation. Could be any member you feel would say it or even your bias. Up to you. Anyways, enough stalling, thank you again, ily, and I hope you enjoy despite the topics depicted. (I really don’t know how else to word that- I am so sorry but yk what I mean though I hope lmao) I ALSO DON’T MEAN TO OFFEND ANYONE if I do :(( I tried not to be offensive here.

Ignore the fact that I couldn’t find a gif lol goodnight/morning/afternoon it is currently 5am so I’m gonna dip but ily!!

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, the idol life.

You worked hard for years and finally got to debut as the eighth member of Dreamcatcher, putting music out that you’ve worked years to be able to put out.

But this? The self-doubt, the imposter syndrome, your insecurities that are constantly being picked out and called out by critics and antis.

You were always in a constant battle with your own mind, each word playing on repeat as you began to pick yourself apart and wishing you worked just a little bit harder to be as perfect as your fellow members.

Every day, every comeback, every waking moment, you worked harder and harder to fit in with the girls.

No matter what you did, you still felt less than others.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

You were supposed to be happy, enthusiastic, and in love with music— And you were.

You were happy. Happy you got to debut. Happy you were in a group full of wonderful women who were by your side every step of the way.

You were enthusiastic. Enthusiastic about performing. Enthusiastic about always putting in the most effort you could manage.

Of course, you were in love with music. Making music, singing, performing, and even producing it.

With each comeback, you recieved so much love from fans, dreamcatcher, and even staff, treating everyone kindly and respectfully and hoping they didn’t face the same feelings you felt deep inside.

But even with so much support, you still felt alone.

The loneliness was as intense as a monster that wanted nothing more than to eat away at your soul day by day.

And you would’ve let it, the pain inside debilitating your will to stay strong day by day.

You would’ve allowed yourself to drown completely, had it not been for your members there to keep your head above water and your passion for making music— Which was very much still there and still stronger than any demon eating away at you.

-

Handong was the first to see through to your emotional pain. The existential dread of never being enough.

You were seated beside her at a restaurant during dinner with the girls after a successful show.

The shaking of your hands, your heart beating through your chest, each vein pulsating with each beat.

Did I mess up the show?

You remembered how your mind raced with questions that you know you’d never believe the answers to.

Did anyone cheer for me during my parts?

Handong could feel something was off about you. Maybe it was the way you smiled without any feeling behind it. Maybe you were shaking too much for it to just be post-performance adrenaline.

Whatever it was, she realized the pain you were in. How it wasn’t something you could slap a band-aid on and be done with.

She saw you cry that same night, the pent-up emotions you had kept hidden from your group.

You wanted to be like them. Perfect, cool, and an amazing performer. You wanted them to think you were perfect, cool, and just as amazing as they were.

Instead, you cried, wishing to wake up as the perfect idol.

You remembered how tight Handong held you, listening to your wordless cries for as long as you needed.

And it hurt more, with as much love and support you received, all it took was for one negative comment to twist your day upside down.

You hated the power that had over you. How it altered your mind for the worst.

And Handong held you tightly in her arms as you sobbed until you were numb and with no more tears left.

“How long has this been going on?”

Her voice was soothing to your ears. Words you never thought you’d hear.

Finally, you thought. Someone willing to listen.

And you told her everything. Every painful feeling and thought you had bottled inside of you for so long. You trust her, of course. And she trusts you, grateful that you felt safe enough to open up to her.

The wars you waged in your mind had come to a ceasefire, even if only temporarily.

-

Minji was the next of the girls to have noticed.

Only this time, you were on a walk together, enjoying the day off while the others had other plans.

It was at a time you felt the most at peace with yourself. You itched to practice and perfect your skills, but at the same time, it felt good to be able to unwind and not have to worry about anything eating you up.

Minji didn’t know certain questions caused you pain.

“What are your goals for this year?”

It was a simple question. Albeit, a question that took some thought, but was meant to be harmless. She was excited about the future of the group, being the leader.

But it gave you a nauseous chill that caused you to stop all movement, clenching your jaw in an attempt to stop the feeling from pouring out of you.

“What’s wrong?” Minji asked, shortly before you began to shake, becoming short of breath and lightheaded.

It wasn’t a spontaneous reaction that caused you to spiral. You did think about your answer.

I have to be perfect. I have to work harder. I can’t take a break or I will have to start all over again.

You were on your day off, alongside Minji.

I have to start all over again.

“Y/N? Talk to me, please. I want to help you.” Minji thought about her words, only then, did she realize the emotional pain you experienced that began to externalize physically.

I may never be good enough.

You yelped, holding your chest as your heart picked up at an unnatural speed.

I will never be good enough, will I?

You were hyperventilating, shaking violently, sweat collected on your palms, and the world around you spun out of control.

Am I dying?

Minji immediately cut the walk short and brought you to the dorms and out of the eye of the public.

At the dorm, after Minji consoled you out of your inconsolable state, you didn’t remember the walk back to the dorm. How Minji worried for you every step of the way, hoping— Praying that you wouldn’t hyperventilate yourself into passing out on the street.

Your eyes were red and puffy from crying, which you also had no recollection of. You were a swirling pit of your own negative thoughts.

-

Yoobin was the third to notice.

She noticed you had been more distant than usual the day after your most recent comeback. While the girls were celebrating and well prepared for the promotion period, you had distanced yourself, picturing the ridiculing comments already, even as an endless sea of encouraging and adoring comments poured in, you could only seem to focus on the few negative ones.

Though the positive outweighed the negative, it was still enough to drown you and that was all it took.

“I’m fine.” A common excuse used by people bottling their feelings to avoid those around them from worrying.

Nothing is wrong with me.

I am perfectly fine.

I am perfect.

I am far from fine.

It was crazy how the weather seemed to align with your feelings.

Clouds burst into droplets to downpours of rain when they got too full.

Crazy how accurate it was to how you would bottle your feelings up so full that they would burst at the seams when it got too much.

You were surrounded by the bottled-up feelings that the sky held. Each cloud representing a different fear, insecurity— Anything that ate away at you bit by bit.

The cold rain drenched you the longer you sat outside, letting it wash over you just enough to simulate drowning, but never enough to actually drown you.

“Hey! You’re going to catch a cold out here!” Yoobin had run toward you with an umbrella, holding it over you, blocking any more drops from touching you.

The thing was, you were already cold. Even inside the heated building, the icy numbness blankets you.

“Are you okay?” Yoobin asked. You both shared the umbrella, the rain pouring down. Only then, did she realize you were crying.

“When will it stop?” The question came out in a mutter that Yoobin had barely heard.

“The rain?” She asked with a shrug.

Only later, did she understand what you truly meant.

-

When Siyeon noticed your pain, she walked past the bathroom door in the dorm, hearing the sounds of your crying.

It worried her and she wondered why you were crying.

It was just a bad day and you wanted to be alone rather than cry in your room where any of the girls could walk in at any given moment.

Siyeon knocked on the door, unaware you intended to be left alone. Even then, you were crying and she cared about you.

She’d have knocked anyway, even if it meant getting snapped at.

But you didn’t snap at her, only ceasing your tears as you sat on the floor of the bathroom, wiping your tears.

“Are you crying? Is there someone I need to beat up for you?” Siyeon asked, acknowledging that the door was locked, and instead sat beside the door to speak to you.

You cracked a smile, small, yet enough to slightly ease the pain in your chest.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

But you weren’t. You were far from fine.

Why do I feel like this?

A question that may never be answered no matter how many answers it all pointed to.

“You don’t sound fine. Tell me about it. Was it someone? Or something?” Siyeon didn’t want to overstep your boundaries, but she knew something was off.

It wasn’t every day that you burst into tears inside the dorm’s bathroom.

When you didn’t answer— Lacking the words to sum up your feelings, Siyeon’s voice seeped through the door again.

“I will be here when you’re ready. Whether your reason for crying is tiny or catastrophic, if it’s something that makes you cry, it’s never silly if it’s hurting you, so please don’t feel silly.”

Siyeon sat on the other side of the door as you covered your mouth, begging yourself not to cry anymore.

Within a few minutes, you gathered the courage to open the door and talk to Siyeon, who listened and tried her best to reassure you.

Even though you were grateful and felt a lot better in the end, you still had a massive lump in your throat that would take a while to overcome.

You just worried that it would take an eternity.

-

It was one in the morning when Yoohyeon found you wide awake, yet exhausted at the same time, sitting on the steps outside.

At first, she thought you were crazy being outside this late at night, her reasoning for being up as well was originally to go and get a glass of water.

That’s when she noticed you outside through one of the windows, sitting and watching the stars in silence and alone with your thoughts.

It was something you had done relatively often, only this was the first time Yoohyeon caught you. She sat beside you, following your gaze toward the sky.

“You’re still awake?” You asked, never taking your eyes off the night sky.

“Got thirsty. What’s your excuse?” She yawned. You smiled, finally looking at her.

“I can’t sleep.”

“Hm… Do we snore too loud or-“ Yoohyeon meant it as a joke, but she stopped herself when she noticed the water accumulating in your eyes, yet hadn’t spilled out.

And thankfully for you, they never did.

“I haven’t been able to sleep for a while.” You confessed, a heavy, shaky breath leaving your lips. “It’s hard to sleep when my mind is constantly telling me to do better.”

Yoohyeon listened to every word you said, with sincerity and concern on her expression as you continued to pour your heart out.

It embarrassed you too, admitting to her how vulnerable you really were. You wanted to be strong.

Perfect. Cool. Amazing.

It hurt as your mind contradicted your wishes.

But she listened. She cared.

Yet, you still felt the pain all the same.

-

You continuously messed up the choreography, exhausted and shaking all over from hours of practicing one part of the dance for the group's comeback.

You previously got it right, every step. But today was different and you weren’t sure why when you had done it perfectly just the day before.

It frustrated you have perfection seemed to come and go whenever it saw fit. It frustrated you how perfection lead you on, only to sink you deeper into the hole you felt stuck in.

Bora and Gahyeon stuck behind with you long after the other girls had left to take care of other obligations or simply just to return to the dorms.

Both girls remaining had opted to help you out, Bora spotting the steps you continuously missed or botched altogether, and took it slower, step by step as Gahyeon offered tips here and there— Which you took heed of, but for some reason, you just could not get the steps right.

How am I going to be perfect if I can’t get this down?

The thoughts came racing back again.

Gahyeon noticed your frustrations with yourself tearing away at you.

Then Bora noticed too when you stumbled backward and fell to the ground from the mental and physical exhaustion.

“Woah! Let’s take a break… Maybe pick up again tomorrow, what do you say?” Bora kneeled beside you, glancing at Gahyeon, who rushed to bring you a water bottle.

“Yes. We can go eat and call it a day.” Gahyeon agreed as you shakily held the bottle, drinking the refreshing water.

“I can’t. I’m not good enough for this.” You gripped the bottle as water sloshed out. On top of that, your voice cracked as the lump in your throat attempted to block your voice from leaving your throat.

“Where is this coming from? You are good enough. You’re more than enough!” Bora frowned, concerned.

Gahyeon took the liberty to hold your hand as you began to cry.

“I’m trying, I promise!” Your cries turned into sobs, the bottled-up emotions spilling out again since the previous time.

Over and over again, like a cloud, filling up until it bursts.

“I know you are. You’ve worked hard enough already. Let’s call it a night. Me, you, and Gahyeon- maybe the others if they are free- All of us go out to eat. You’ve more than earned it.” Bora attempted to soothe you as Gahyeon continued to hold onto your hand.

“And if you want, you can vent to me. I will listen.” Bora spoke with such sincerity that you cried harder.

“Me too. Whatever you need, I— We got you covered.” Gahyeon inputs, caressing the back of your hand with her thumb.

Putting your feelings into words was hard. You never knew where to start and sometimes it got jumbled, lost in translation, and incomprehensible.

And still, you tried. A weight simultaneously lifting off your shoulder while also weighing you down more.

The support you had received around you opened your eyes more and the loneliness you felt inside felt like an odd thing to feel, knowing you were surrounded by people who loved and cared for you.

-

You were anxious. It was the day of the comeback and you had listened to Bora and Gahyeon about picking back up the next day.

When the next day came, you were able to do the choreography again without any mistakes. Day after day, each practice before the promotion period, you nailed the dance flawlessly as a group and individually.

Your hands shook and your heart raced. All of this time chasing perfection, you weren’t sure why you hadn’t reached it yet.

“We’re next!” Gahyeon excitedly announced backstage as the group before you started to finish up their stage.

You took a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves, fearing you would mess up or that your nerves would show through.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m fine… Thank you.”

A common excuse, but you actually began to mean it, even if slightly.

And you were fine. Every doubt you had, every worry, every thought, they were internal. No one else thought you were as flawed as you thought.

Nothing was wrong with you. You were perfect. You had a ton of support and love from family, friends, and fans who —In their eyes— Saw you as perfect.

You were just fine. You were cool. You were amazing.

You weren’t perfect.

You were perfectly imperfect. Everyone was.

And that was okay.

Even in the hole you felt stuck in, pulling yourself out seemed like an actual possibility with the support system you had discovered that had been there all along, patiently by your side until you see yourself the way those around you did.

“Remember, you’ll do just fine. You always have.”

“Thank you. I won’t fail you!” You replied, adjusting your in-ear.

The girls fondly smiled at you, feeling a sense of pride toward you.

“You never have.”

You were cool, amazing, and your own kind of perfect, even if it will take some time for you to accept.

#dreamcatcher x reader #dreamcatcher imagines #dreamcatcher au #dreamcatcher #dreamcatcher fics #dreamcatcher jiu #dreamcatcher sua #dreamcatcher handong #dreamcatcher siyeon #dreamcatcher yoohyeon #dreamcatcher dami #dreamcatcher gahyeon

[d3-iseefire]

I Have Done A Thing!

When the pandemic hit it kind of wrecked the industry I work in, which led to me needing to pick up a second job which THEN led to me not having much time to write (I looked for a new job outside my industry but it was one of those things of “you’ve worked so long in one thing that your skills are outdated and you can’t afford to go back to school and no one will hire you in a new industry unless you have experience, which you can’t get unless someone hires you!”)

Anyway, I’m doing okay with the two jobs, but I’ve been sad that I couldn’t write as much and one of my close friends suggested that, since writing is my passion, I should try making that my second job and see how that might go. They also suggested starting a Patreon for if any of my readers want to see the process of me trying to write an original story. I created two other tiers for short stories and just blog style posts soooo, yeah, it’s there. Obviously, zero pressure or obligation - my original book will be released eventually on Amazon once I get it done (if you subscribe to the Patreon tier I’ll probably make like a PDF download of the completed file for you at the end of it so you’ll have a free copy).

So, yeah! I do want to keep trying to write my fanfiction, but I’ve also, even before the work stuff, been wanting to focus more on my original stuff and trying to make a little bit of a living off it so this has been coming for awhile.

Anyhoo, I’m just starting out on this and will definitely be trying to find my way so apologies in advance if it’s not totally polished and such right out of the gate. For anyone who wants to subscribe and follow, THANK YOU. I can say my imposter syndrome is strong right now but I’m trying my best to step outside of my comfort zone and see how it goes! :D I’ll probably be updating once a month for now but, in the future, I’d like to try and update more often. We shall see what happens!

Ok, so that’s that. As mentioned, zero obligation or pressure or anything like that, and I don’t plan on being annoying or pushing this a lot. I just figured I’d put it out and see how it goes!

https://patreon.com/Amber_Christine_Knight?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

#original writing #my writing #fantasy #fiction #patreon

[lokisgoodgirl]

A 💕Love Letter 💕to @anukulee:

Like, for real, an hour after I mentioned leaving Tumblr because of my doubts and insecurities, she was in my DM asking what was up before summoning Loki to tend to my emotional wounds.

Thank you, he reacted to my sex dungeon just as I thought he would, but he looked a little surprised when I brought out the marriage papers I have stashed away for just such occasions...

Anyway, she clearly has a caring heart and a creative mind that knows how to hit all the right spots. She is a consistent and enthusiastic commenter/follower and I love you so much!

Thanks for all of your support, not just for my fics but for my emotional wellbeing. I think most all of us here know what it's like when Imposter the Syndrome visits town.

Love, Light, and Loki, ~.Lena.~

I almost cried last night when I saw your post about that - because I know how strongly we can feel that way sometimes and @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 I wish I could shake it all away with a strong grip around your shoulders. However, having said that...

@anukulee that was an absolutely BEAUTIFUL thing you did for our sweet Lena. She is a complete treasure, as you know, and the frankly GENIUS scene you sent her really made me smile. Her 'caring heart and creative mind' like you point out @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 comes across so clearly. If everyone was like her, the world would be a more wonderful place for sure.

We adore you @anukulee - and we adore you too @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 - imposter syndrome can go suck on some crusty jizzcloths.

#LGG Love Notes

[cutegirlmayra]

Kingdom Hearts Story - Larxene/Elrena

For some reason, after learning about this character, my creative juices just starting thinking of what it must have been like in her shoes... In a weird sense, this is probably my typical ‘I want the girl to be with the guy she likes’ bleeding heart like with Amy Rose, and seeing potential in characters like that. Namine is also a character that interests me, but I’ve written a little about her before. She probably will pop up in this write up, but this is mostly to go through Larxene’s storyline, I’m thinking... wasn’t she sort of... keeping an eye on Lauriam as a memory-lost Marluxia? Yes, she has a crush, but also--She doesn’t seem to have lost her memory when talking to Sora about being ‘Along for the ride’, maybe her loyalty to her ‘union leader’ was that strong?

Anyway, I found it oddly romantic of her, even though she teased Sora about being a ‘Hero complex’ about saving Namine, I think somewhere deep down inside... she was trying to save Marluxia too, and just getting frustrated with it.

Prompt:

“I... I really shouldn’t be going.” She tried to resist, she really did. These dumb-brained, righteous union leaders were spouting out nonsense she didn’t understand, but it sounded like end-of-the-world stuff...

She was so scared... but when his eyes looked so sweetly to hers, and bade her to go and take the lifeboat... She found it hard to resist her heart.

Being laid in that thing was stuffy and intolerable. She squirmed but tried to lay her head back and close her eyes...

‘What in the world am I doing?’ she wondered to herself, ‘I should be dead along with all the other Data ghosts in there... I’m just some girl, some keyblade weider with no real significance... Why are they all determined to save me?’ she felt a sense of imposter syndrome creeping into her heart.

She put a hand to it, rubbing it lightly and wishing she could hold her Chirithy one last time... she didn’t mean to yell at it, it was only trying to expose how she really felt. Goodness knows she couldn’t do that on her own.

She really had wanted to help him... he looked... so distraught and unrelenting in his stress... to see how much he loved his sister... she only wanted to be useful to him.

To soften time’s ticking clock... she would have loved to sit there on those steps a second longer... where the artificial world’s sunlight on his fluffy, pink hair still gave her real enough feelings to strive after finding clues for his sister...

“I’m a hopeless romantic now?” She whined out, annoyed with herself as she tried to lift her knees and then place them down more properly... still fidgeting.

When the machine began to whirl, a sharp breath stifled all other thoughts, and she looked around the windshield-looking capsule for any clue as to what was happening.

She closed her eyes and forced her head back into position against the steely container... ‘Please, Light.’ she thought to herself, ‘Don’t let something bad happen to him... to them... to us...’ She hadn’t really felt like an ‘us’, she was so far separated from the others...

Just some dumb girl following after her heart...

What a loser...

There was a flash of brilliant light then, she felt herself get rushed through it like pixels through streams of rays.

When she awoke, she felt weak, laying on the rocks of a cliff with rain pouring over her. His last words hung on her mind... but other than that... she could only recall the faint traces of memory... And the beating of her heart? Where had that gone?

She groaned, picking herself up and touching her head, “Augh... Oh!” she raised a hand to the rain. At first, she had honestly thought she woke in a cold sweat, but this was clearly another world.

“Ah! Ohh!” she saw some vultures swirling around her and batted them away as they tried to make a dive for her, flapping away at her swinging arms before some pebbles underneath her crumbled and she was forced backwards.

Sliding down the opposite way from the cliff, she heard the thunder quake a mighty guitar’s string, her hands flung up to grip anything around her, as the vultures perched and smirked in hopes of their new, lastest meal after the evil queen...

Her eyes squinted through the rain and pain,... “Laur-...” flying a moment back before lighting struck the ground and she hit her head... blanking out.

No one to save her... no one should even care.

She was a nobody...

That’s all she’d ever be...

She blinked her eyes open to a mysterious figure in a hooded cloak above her, black as the night. The sleek of his fabric shined with the flash of thunderous lightning…

‘... How did he find me..?’ she wondered, ‘Is this... where I die..?’ he stood with his hands behind his back while she tried to straighten out her blurry vision.

Then she lowered her head and everything faded to black... except for one symbol... an ‘X’, forever written into her mind...

Larxene woke up in her room and groaned, rubbing her eyes, “That stupid dream again...” she got up and immediately thought of Marluxia asking that odd question yesterday to her... to join him in something... a revolt of some kind. “Totally not my thing.” she flopped back down on the bed, letting it jolt her a bit as her electricity sparked up to her hair, and she smiled at its touch.

“Heh... After all this time... I haven’t gotten him to remember a thing.” She had been so shocked to see him, rushing right up to him when he was first announced to join the Organization too... but he didn’t recognize her.

It broke her non-existent heart to hear it... but she was insignificant then, why should he remember her now? Might as well keep an eye on him... What? Was he her responsibility now?

Well... he did kinda save her... at least, that one time.

She grew bitter after that. Her self-loathing came off and deflected onto others, and she became known as a prickly sort in the Organization... somewhat opposite and yet similar to her previous life.

‘If he’s gonna get himself in trouble with the big bad, I guess I have no choice.’ she sighed and got up, shaking her head as her mind kept flopping her back to the rain, the cliffside, the vultures, and...

“Larxene...” A voice shook her worse than the raging storms of the Dwarf Woodlands, and was as deep as the abyss his heart resided in.

She momentarily feigned being cool about it, but her eyes had shaken at her nobody name being called by his dark presence...

She got up immediately, “Haven’t you heard of knocking?” She waved a nonchalant hand out, “What do you want... Oh, gracious leader?” She tried to give a powerful glare to him... but her fear seemed to reflect outwardly by the smile on his face.

Xemnas gestured a hand across from himself, “My apologies for disturbing... you seemed to be just lying in rest... thinking too much these days?” His dark chuckle as he turned made her hold in a squirm... did he have to be so creepy?

“Something I should know? I’m usually not due a ‘personal’ visit like this. Isn’t our great and powerful leader usually too busy to mess with little pawns like us?” She put a finger to her cheek, faking a cuteness to be sarcastic. “Isn’t Saïx usually your delivery boy?” She then put her finger to her mouth, as though visually showing she was being too cheeky for her own good, “Opp! Too much?” she leaned forward, trying to be confident before he turned around and she dropped the act, getting jittery at his intimidating stance... after all, he was unphased by her persona...

“I have assigned him to other matters.” His eyes pierced straight into the husk of her form. If she had a soul, it’d be shaking right about now...

“And..?” She raised an eyebrow, leaning back as she was getting disturbed by this conversation… which came about all too suddenly.

“I’ve heard rumors of a wonderful Castle... Castle... Oblivion.” he stretched out a hand, then placed it to his chest, “I want someone to investigate it... I am looking for something... hidden deep within its walls...” He smirked then, “Perhaps... by journeying through it... you may be rid of your... uncomfortable... memories...” He began to make his way out, “The place, you see, takes away that which was found, to find what was taken away.”

“Taken... away?” She thought about what Marluxia had lost... his previous memories... his sister...

Strelitzia?

She didn’t care what she lost if she could get Laruiam’s sister back...

She looked down, thinking about it...

“I already sent a party ahead of you... But I intend to have you research the power of Memories... and how they can help us in achieving our ultimate goal.” he looked only with his eyes back at her, keeping his body forward... “I expect you may be interested... in what was lost...” he then walked forward, “To be found...”

She turned after him but he had already vanished... “He acts like he knows everything!” she gritted her teeth, glaring off at him. “But... this could be kinda interesting...” she grinned in mischievous delight... Deciding to tell Marluxia right away about what she had learned, maybe a good place to stake a rebellion, but she was assigned to the twerp to collect hearts today.

‘UGGGHHHH, how annoying!’ she tried to help him slash through some grubby heartless, hearing him go off randomly about stupid stuff she didn’t care about.

Seeing Roxas and Xion disgusted her. Axel being included didn’t help. It reminded her of when she had a heart, and the feeling of being with someone, a team...

Resentment built in her heart, seeing how ‘cutely lovely dovey’ the trio were acting. As though... a real unity was forged there.

She folded her arms, staring off at them having a little ‘lover’s spat’ between each other when Laur-... Marluxia approached her.

“Have you given it some thought?” He discreetly stated, his beauty still catching her off guard.

If she allowed herself to blush, she would have jabbed her weapons, individually, into her chest till she disappeared.

“Yeah, and I got some good intel, too.” She beamed, giving him her best devilish smirk. She held out a finger up to him, winking slightly, “However... it’s all hush-hush. We have to plan this out carefully...”

Could he regain that which was lost? His memories? His sister..?

“What do you mean? Ah...” He raised an elegant eyebrow before turning to see Zexion walking over to them.

“Do you have a moment?” He seemed to be suspicious of their little ‘war council’ so Larxene stepped forward and poked his shoulder away from them.

“Always the loner~ What? Growing desperate to be a part of a ‘circle’, Zexion?” She laughed wildly loud, making sure the others in the room heard her, to dispel any idea of ‘secret conversations’ that may have been thought by observers like Zexion.

She walked by him but he turned around and his words halted her right away, making her upset at his comeback, “I wouldn’t exactly be this forward about joining any ‘circle’ of yours, Larxene, I’m simply relaying orders. Our research has discovered a young girl with the abilities to manipulate Sora’s memories, as well as those involved with him.”

She stopped a moment, listening intently, “Go on?” She inquired, “Not that it matters to me in the slightest.” She blew him off with a flick of her hand but Marluxia stepped in and she remained silent, watching him.

“Larxene... let’s let the man speak.” he seemed very interested, “Go on, Zexion... I’m listening...” He stared wonderfully intensely at Zexion...

Later on... She was watching Namine draw, seeing the meteor shower that would soon replace that precious ‘Kairi’ girl in his heart, allowing Marluxia’s plan to puppeteer Sora to be in place.

“... Just a star show?” Larxene was growing impatient, what a slow burn! “Boorrrinnngg~” She put a finger to her forehead, spreading out the rest of her fingers to be dramatic.

Namine curled up slightly from her hunched posture, as though to hide her little self-insert desire.

Larxene knew all too well what that felt like... but her pain, as usual, leaked out onto others and she began to feel in a ‘bullying’ mood...

“You want to romance them both, don’t you?” She got up, uncrossing her legs and walking over behind Namine’s chair, but as she placed a hand on the side of it, Namine pulled up her knees and pressed the sketchbook against her chest... blocking Larxene from seeing it more fully.

“Hmph, kinda rude.” she tsked out, “What? Can’t take some constructive criticism?” She shrugged an arm up in the air and walked in front of her, “Hellloo??? I’m talking to you!” she put her hands to her hips and bent down, over and across to try and see Namine’s face, but she was hiding herself so well...

“Heh! Let me give you some advice, even if you don’t like it.” She flicked Namine’s forehead, then moved towards the white window, with the gentle swaying curtains. “You gotta get a boy to feel like he’s your hero if you want him to really save you from this place.” She kept her expression a simple smile of deception... but her hollow hide was softly yearning... “There’s not a dame on this planet or any other who wouldn’t want that...” Only her eyes showed the pain of her previous life... “When a... man makes a promise to you... that you’ll be safe.”

Namine’s head slowly came up, gently from her drawing, to look over shyly to whatever emotion was beginning to stir in Larxene.

Her black cloak swayed with the curtains... protecting her from darkness... or was it... from the light of her previous crush?

‘Shouldn’t I just give it up, already?’ she was remembering... how she was told she was worth something... and that’s why they wanted to rescue her.

“That’s how Sora, even Riku, should feel about you.” she turned around, darkening her expression and stoning her face into a painful reminder of her ‘lack of a heart’.

She marched over to Namine, slamming a hand to her drawing, and pressing her face close up to her own, making her gasp lightly like a mouse in shock and surprise at her abrupt switch in actions and tone. “Make your own hero, Namine. Make them value you so terribly much, that it breaks their heart to disappoint you.” She grinned, “Then, you’ll finally have your freedom. Within their hearts, you’ll feel truly special and wanted. Isn’t that what you want? Someone, anyone, to hold memories of who you truly are?”

That last sentence broke something in Larxene... when she saw Sora again, to fight him, there was no mercy left standing in her way... It was as though she was becoming a Xehanort, a one-track mind and everything...

Was... Castle Oblivion... taking her true self away, too?

Was she just... leading herself further into the darkness in a hopeless chase of a heart she could barely remember and recall ever existed in the first place?

She had hoped this Castle would bring Lauriam, her Union leader, back to her... If he could just remember himself... his sister... maybe even...

Her?

When the final battle was to be set forth, Larxene returned from Arendelle, biting her nails and cursing Sora and his friends yet again... knowing she lied to just strike further fear in their hearts...

“Larxene,...”

“What do you want-!?” She was half-expecting the guitar-loser, but when she saw Marluxia she braced herself back, “Mar-... W-what do you want?” She had already steeled herself away, giving up on romance and protecting or whatever else she was trying to do before with him!

Elrena was dead. Simple as that. The past was in the-

                   “I’d like you to fight beside me... at the end of the world.”

Her mouth froze and hung open with her lower lip trembling before closing to swallow hard and try and replay what was just spoken.

“You don’t mean that.” she blurted out, her thoughts becoming unfiltered. “What’s gotten into you, huh!?” She turned around, trying to play it off, raising an eye to him and leaning forward.

“We once fought side by side... is it not obvious I’d want to be paired with you? Another end... but in another time.” His eyes were unwavering, looking down at her in what she felt was all sincerity.

‘Felt!? Give me a break!’ she turned away to avoid any sign of that ‘filthy love’ she once felt creep back into her nonexistent heart.

Sora and his precious Kairi... Roxas and Xion with Axel... Not to mention even Riku seemed to be fighting to rescue Namine...

‘Love like in the other worlds doesn’t exist for me!’ she folded her arms and turned away from him, “If you don’t remember, I wouldn’t blame you, but we kinda lost that round fighting together, if I’m not mistaken.” she puffed up a cheek, hoping that was enough to dissuade him... maybe... he was better off without her ‘meddling help’ as it were...

She didn’t mean anything to anyone, anyway... no one had memories of her to cling to... Not like how Sora chose Kairi over the implanted memories Namine gave him... a better love story didn’t exist in Elrena’s-

Ah.

Did she... just remember her own name?

She hadn’t really ever felt her old self creep back into her spirit... if she even had one remaining that wasn’t just Xehanort at this point.

She touched her chest, “You’re...” then let an arm dangle down before her. “Better off without me... no one needs me... I’m just a pawn, a fleshy vessel to a madman... Better than not fully being anything, to be honest... Which is all I am... all we are.” she closed her eyes before a hand touched her arm.

She had felt, before that moment, that she had nothing. Lost everything. This was the end and there was nothing left to fight or live for.

She just wanted everyone to be as miserable and forgotten as she was... insignificant… a loathsome mess.

No one need love her... for she wasn’t even worthy enough to exist.

With his touch, she turned around and felt almost life again... Elrena again... as his eyes looked the same way they had when they asked her to allow them to save her...

That memory... she thought she had killed and buried it... at that white castle... when her dreams flew out the soft, curtain window...

“I wasn’t asking for your opinion on your life’s purpose,” he bluntly stated, which took her off guard as he pulled her lightly after him, walking to their set destination to fight the dorky twerps and do their best to clash light with darkness... she guessed.

“Let... Let me go!” She wasn’t really resisting... her eyes twitched because they were filling with emotions she wanted to deny, wanted to leave in the past...

He wasn’t letting her forget... even though he had no memory of her... nothing to tie him to her...

Just like before, he barely knew her, neither of them did, and yet...

“I wasn’t aware our partnership ended at our destruction.”

She lost whatever breath still remained in her lungs.

“You and I... we share a special sort of... bond.” he was looking forward, all she could see was the bouncing and flying of his layered hair... “We may not have hearts, but you’ve proven yourself loyal, even to the end... you fought valiantly... why wouldn’t I respect that spirit of yours and ask for your assistance once more?” He turned around and even though the dirt below them was a barren wasteland... she only saw flowers and a beautiful scene before her...

She ripped her arm out of his and stumbled backwards, gritting her teeth as she looked him dead in the face, ‘How dare he...’ she told herself, ‘How dare he pull me back in when I was so desperate to be out of it!’ she just stared intensely into his eyes, ‘I won’t be hypnotized again!’ she marched more towards him, stopping inches from his face,... but he only looked to her with a muted, almost kind expression of indifference to her little tantrum display of resistance.

“Are you coming... or not?” He lifted a finger to her chin, “I won’t take my words back... I want you to fight beside me... None else will do. As you know, none of these ‘vessels’ are very trustworthy... at least with you... I know...

                                                                  I’m safe.”

She staggered back, her face breaking. “Ah...” she was his hero!? “Give me a break...” She dropped her shoulders down, surrendering to the beautiful words and man before her.

“Ughhh, guess you couldn’t go on without me, anyway, huh?” she put a finger up to her forehead again, shaking her head lightly before looking back to him with a smile. “Alright, Marluxia. But don’t think that pretty face will be any better recompleted.” She walked by him and skimmed a finger against his hair... he seemed to follow the touch and that made her nervous, moving quickly more away and into position to fight whoever would come through this part of the maze. “Honestly... we may not have hearts, but you definitely know how to play one.”

“So do you, Larxene.” She didn’t dare look back. Her back tensed and she just willed this day to be over with already...

So when Sora saw right through her, asking who she was taking the ride with... she looked back at him and realized he knew.

She sighed and dropped the act for just a moment, a small reward for Sora’s intuition and letting go of her resentment towards him, “My little secret~” she chimed, letting him in on her true self... just for that moment... that second... Sora and her had connected.

Though brief, Elrena awakened to the sound of lightning and thunder once more. Her eyes blinked with the raindrops rapidly beating themselves in a kamikaze attempt to keep her long eyelashes down, but failing.

She twitched her hand, rolling over on her back and looking up at the sky.

“... I’m...” She raised her weakened hand, shaking from being recompleted again, and held it with her other, squeezing it and feeling her breath, her heartbeat, and remembering everything so clearly... those dreams... were now colored, detailed memories that were precious to her.

She tried to get up but then panicked as she saw the vultures diving for her yet again.

“Ah! Not you-! Bird brains!” she waved her hands in the air to bat them away before gaining her footing, getting out her-

“Ah... the ...” Keyblade.

She looked at her keyblade in wonder... had she completely forgotten that feeling? Of... being accepted by the light again?

“Khaw! Khaw!” the birds swooped down, but this time, her eyes narrowed and her rage was full.

“Stupid-!” she swiped one down, “Stinkin’-!” she spun and struck the other to the wetted ground below. “BIRDS!” she used the magic she had just remembered from muscle memory to wipe them clean out as their hearts flew up to the sky... “Ah...” She lowered her fist... realizing...

She touched her chest, “... I’m... not just a husk anymore...” Watching their hearts fly away... disappearing, she dropped to her knees, her hot tears mixing with the cool of the rainstorm before her... she was at first still watching where the hearts had gone off to... before slamming her palms down to the rocky ground below her, screaming out her frustrations, her anger, her sadness, her longings... Her keyblade getting bashed against the cliff before some rocks began to shake... as though the ground was going to move from under her again.

“Ah..! Wait, no..!” she scrambled backwards, “Not again!” rushing up to her legs, she tried to outrun the falling stones. “Please-!”, ‘Not when I just got myself back..! Not when I’m human again!’ Her hand flexed out the Keyblade so she could grip any of the loosened rocks for stability, but it was no use...

She was falling... and this time... down the front of the mountain’s cliff... not rolling backwards but falling to a forever death... her life was pointless, meaningless still... wasn’t it?

“Lauriam...” Just as before, his name was the last thing she could think to say in a moment just before the end...

When a face lurched over the edge and a hand reached out and down over the cliff, “Elrenaaa!!” and grabbed her grasping hands to something solid and secure.

Having rushed up the mountain, and slipping to his stomach, a familiar face gripped her hand and began to pull her up from the collapsing cliffside.

“L.. Lauriam..?” Her eyes twinkled with the flashes of lightning, shimmering at a hopeful sight of fated rescue... “W-what..?” She was pulled up, her legs kicking frantically before finally getting a footing and flopping down beside him on solid ground once more.

They both breathed hard... and there was silence for a moment... just the thunder to accompany them.

“Why were you sent to this awful place?” He asked, “The scene is dreary... No wonder your mood was so bad before.” He lightly joked, but was this the time for that?

She couldn’t help a smile grace the side of her mouth, before shaking it off and glaring at him, blushing... the first time she allowed her heart to express such a feeling so...

“How did you get here? How’d you find me?” He had been recompleted along with her, that timeframe seemed too narrow to find her, right?

He gasped for air, having hurried to her side, he looked at her with all fondness, which stole her breath once more. “Elrena... I remember your name... I remember you, and how we all were, once before... Together.”

She remained frozen... blank eyes staring into his full of spring and renewed life... She had been killed, but he was just reborn from his recompletion...

She worried she was dead and gone when she first awoke... but hearing him call her name... was this... the meaning of life?

He began to pick her up, tucking an arm under her legs as she went somewhat limp to his hold, allowing him to carry her as he pleased. “I realized then... How in the organization... you were always beside me because you were protecting me... silently and stubbornly keeping an eye on me... I couldn’t describe the wonderful joy and also immense gratitude when I came to understand that... You were looking out for me the whole time, weren’t you?”

He held her bridal style, lowering his head to her forehead as her hands tightly gripped his shirt, completely overwhelmed as though he was reading her like a storybook... was this... her fairytale ending?

Could she really... have something like this? Was that alright? Did she even deserve it?

“You’ve been so brave for me, Elrena... for the others, I’m sure we can find a way to save them... Thank you, Elrena. Thank you.” He began to carry her off, as though a prince, and Elrena couldn’t deny her existence anymore.

He made her feel things in her newly recompleted heart that couldn’t be put into words or described any less than--Loved.

She moved her face into his shoulder, closing her eyes before a soft smile appeared... her bitter nature suddenly vanishing as quickly as it had grown as a Nobody...

“I’m just so glad...” she admitted, in a timid and shy voice she once knew, mimicking so closely to Namine’s lonely state. “That you’re alright.”

Fin.

#kingdom hearts #elrena #larxene #marluxia #lauriam #LaurEre #kingdom hearts prompt #cutegirlmayra

[kingwuko]

7, 11, 13, 27, 43, 50, 79 for the fanfic asks!

YAY of course!!! I'll put them under a cut

7. Post a snippet from a wip.

“Guess not. But if the swamp showed you a vision of her…,” Korra said carefully. “The swamp is strange. It sort of shows you what you need to see. The visions aren’t always right, but whatever the swamp showed you probably has some deeper meaning…” Korra wasn’t sure what the Earth Queen might have done or said to Wu, but whatever it was, it had really rattled him. Of course, that wasn't saying much. Wu wasn’t exactly the most cool and collected person she had ever met. Still, Korra got the sense that whatever Wu had seen was intense. “What I need to see…” Wu said thoughtfully. “I… I don’t know. The things she-I mean, the things the vision said to me…” “What did she say in the vision?” Wu’s posture became uneasy and his eyes darted away for a moment. He was being cagey, which wasn’t like Wu at all. Normally he was over eager to share. The vision must have really freaked him out, if he didn’t want to talk about it.

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?

OOOhh good question. I actually try to write in order! There is a fic author from a different fandom who posts (amateur) fic writing tutorials. She's got a great track record with longfics and wrote a tutorial explaining her methods. One important point she made was that she always writes in order, because it helps her get through the not-fun parts if she has the fun parts waiting for her; just like it's enjoyable as a reader to experience a build-up to the big moments, it's enjoyable as a writer too! I followed this advice and I think it worked REALLY well for me. I managed to finish Secret and Windswept is coming along really nicely. That's not to say I've never written anything out of order, but if I have a scene in my head that's further down the line and I don't want to forget something I've thought of, I put it in my outline rather than directly into a document. Tricks my brain into thinking that I haven't really written it yet, because it's just part of the outline.

13. Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what have you been listening to recently?

I do! Well I try to, anyway. If I'm sitting down to write after the kids are in bed, you betcha. But I also do a lot of little micro writing throughout the day as ideas come to me or I have a few moments to myself. in that case I don't listen to anything. I have playlists for my fic and I like to listen on my work commute which is some of my daydream time where I think of fic ideas. Here's my playlist for Windswept:

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

oh boy you're going to make me compliment myself??? I have imposter syndrome big time this is difficult 🤣 I think I'm pretty strong in the sort of inner-monologue-stream-of-consciousness area. I really love getting into the character's heads and portraying their inner thoughts, and capturing their inner voices throughout it. And I think I do a pretty good job!

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

I REALLY want to write something about Wuko from Bolin's perspective. Every time I write Bolin I have SOOO much fun I really want to get in that guy's head!!!

50. How would you describe your writing style?

Maybe introspective? I try to keep the story moving but every time something happens, I always make the POV character think about it. I really like writing what's going on in the characters heads.

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Get a beta reader for your fanfics!!! Seriously. If your beta reader is just someone you send your completed drafts to and they provide suggestions and edits, that already will elevate your writing miles above what you started with. If it's someone who can also be there to help bounce ideas off of, outline, brainstorm, keep you on track with writing by encouraging you etc. Even better! Also. Don't be embarrassed about writing smut. Whatever. It's just sex. If you're writing it, you probably like reading it. Just write it and don't feel weird about sending it to a beta reader (as long as they've agreed beforehand that they're okay with smut!), don't feel weird about posting it. Lets unlearn shame together and all that. If you're writing outside your experience, try to get the perspective of someone from that experience. If you can't actually talk to someone about it, google and try to find info. For example I'm writing m/m when I don't ID as a man. I so I talk to men (especially mlm) and read accounts from men about certain things, so there's less chance that I'm being offensive or disrespectful or just plain wrong about something.

#answered ask #wuko #prince wu #king wu #korra #fanfiction #ask game #anonymous

[simplegenius042]

Fallout 4 OC - Nate Gust Sarid (The Sole Survivor)

Further information under the cut:

Here's my Sole Survivor for Fallout 4, Nate Gust Sarid, just a regular (if sometimes scrutinized) retired U.S Army veteran who just wanted to have a suburban life with a nice job to support his wife Nora and their infant son, Shaun, as well as paying for therapy in regard to his imposter syndrome and place in the "American Dream" and his service, but unfortunately, nukes dropped. Good news, he signed his family up to Vault 111, so they were able to get to safety in there. Bad news, they had to leave Codsworth behind... oh, and they get cryogenically frozen, he watches his beloved wife Nora get shot and his son kidnapped, and awakens in an abandoned vault as the sole survivor... or had he ever been? Regardless, he makes his way into the Commonwealth where he has to pick between four factions (plus the general populace) waging against each other. These factions include; down-on-their-luck underdogs (Minutemen), a group of activists for android rights with a tendency of espionage (Railroad), a military of power armored technology fanatics who are kind of xenophobic (Maxson's Brotherhood of Steel) and lastly the organized science and robotics club gone too far who also kidnapped Nate's baby boy (Insititute). Naturally, Nate picks the first option, and tries to get the other three to get along (to... varying degrees of success). At least he's got his wacky companions to keep him company.

Nate, at a height of 6 feet and 3 inches, becomes the strong, handsome and healthy 33-year-old general of the Minutemen, thanks to supportive and reliable baby boy Preston Garvey, on a journey to reestablish a functional order in the Commonwealth's settlements, and find his baby son Shaun in the process (and avenge his late wife in the process). His hygiene is up to date and is quite incredible with his hands, Nate's sense of style is not so out of place amongst the Commonwealth (unless he wears his customized power armor that he borrowed indefinitely from Maxson's chapter of the Brotherhood of Steel) but manages to both impress and disappoint Deacon in the fact Nate can blend in with the crowd with such average and null clothing. Nate is so fucking sad but he pushes on anyway despite how much he really wants to give up, only fueled by the need to get his son back (and introduce him to a less hostile environment, no less). He gets even more horrified once he discovers he's not entirely human.

Nate is quite perceptive in his surroundings, people and with what his hands are doing, and his extremely skilled at stealth and combat. Not to mention he's a great cook, with an understanding on how to handle not only animals but also children. He's decent at keeping the peace, managing old world tech, and has a good grasp on his books, with his survival knowledge, street smarts and use of seduction being hindered between his time of service and domesticity. He has good days or bad days, no in-between. Though his communication and persuasion skills could need some more work, especially when it comes to creativity in his plans (he was a soldier told to simply focus on what was ahead and being ordered of him).

With great confidence and passion in his quest to find his son, Nate copes with the horrors he experiences with excessive amounts of hilarious sarcasm. Nate traverses the Commonwealth with mild patience and average intelligence, only going on quests just to get by or rally support for the Minutemen, or to find clues on the whereabouts of his missing son. His happiness went from high to low very quickly after the nukes dropped and he lost pretty much everything in his old life. Shaun was the last piece of that life he wanted to preserve... until he discovers he's sixty years too late to be there for his boy rather than just a decade like he initially thought. He has little anxiety and his beliefs are rather muted.

Nate isn't necessarily mean as he is blunt and coping with sarcasm. This man is incredibly brave, willing to take on Mirelurk Queens, gangsters, Deathclaws and the Brotherhood of Steel if it means getting his son back and giving the Commonwealth a better future. While he doesn't resort to violence, he's aware that his communication skills are far from fantastic, and given the hostile state of the Commonwealth, he is prepared and honestly expects to get his hands dirty and bloody should the need arise. He can think things through but when it comes to his son, Kellog or the Insititute there comes a bit of a hinderance in the planning stage. Nate isn't very agreeable, in fact he's more opposing to forces he believes are unjustified and in the wrong. He'd honestly rather find his son, but Preston's idealism gives him a new purpose and something for him to feel useful. Formerly he was just pragmatic, but spending time with Preston and the Minutemen, as well as travelling and helping others like Nick, Cait, Piper and Hancock around settlements and communities (such as Goodneighbor and Diamond City) and additional factions like the Railroad, Nate gets a bit more hopeful than he'd like to admit. Nate spends a lot more than he saves and prefers the outdoors to the indoors. Honestly its quite terrifying how this man can switch from calm and collected to wild and dangerous so fast. Nate is, and he would never admit this, a possessive man, as well as stubborn and decisive.

His charm is mostly backed up by his sarcastic quips which do help make him somewhat approachable despite his bluntness, and that's not to mention the fact Nate is a truly empathetic man. Definitely generous with what he gives to the settlements in the Commonwealth (something the citizens are extremely thankful for) and his wealth is steady, though he has low aggression (that's not to say he can't be enraged, such as whenever he encounters the Insititute and Kellogg) and he's still in his mourning period so his libido isn't his focus right now (though when it eventually comes back up again, his Rizz isn't too bad given Piper's reception to it, despite how rusty it had gotten).

Nate is quite an honest man (though very blunt), not saying that he can't improvise and adapt while undercover in the Institute. Preston saw the makings of a leader and helped carve out Nate into a natural-born one for the Minutemen and the Commonwealth. Though blunt and sarcastic, he's somewhat polite, though mostly to his companions and most of the faction leaders. Honestly kind of unintentionally gets swept up in the politics of the Commonwealth. Cool, flirty, cute and surprisingly fun, if a little gullible (such as when he entered Goodneighbor), but that doesn't change the fact that, should Kellogg and the Institute be involved (or say, Nuka World), he is the scariest Fallout protagonist there is out of the lot I have.

He doesn't believe in any higher powers, or at least refuses to due to his unconventional creators, though Nate thinks that all of what happened couldn't have been a coincidence (which he is kind of correct). After visiting Far Harbour, and seeing some spooky shit in the Commonwealth, he doesn't throw the idea of magic and the supernatural amongst the espionage androids, mutated monsters and feral braindead ghouls out of the realm of possibility in the Wasteland. Nate believes in soulmates, especially when Piper doesn't throw him out of her life after the revelation that he's a synth whose life has mostly been made up by his son Shaun. While Nate doesn't see the world in black and white, he is aware that some folks are worst and more moral than others, while the rest of them fall in the in-between. He believes luck has something to do with his rebellion, but he also knows most of the events were manufactored by "the Father", aka his son Shaun as some twisted experiment.

Family and friends are amongst the most important priorities Nate has, as well as justice for his wife and the truth behind the Institute and his own origin. The opinions of others come next, especially with his new loved ones that he's managed to find. His health and wealth are something he does try to keep up with at least to find his son or after that, continue on living. Home is on the backburner until after he discovers the truth about Shaun, the Institute, as well as himself.

His SPECIAL stats:

Strength (10), Perception (9), Endurance (4), Charisma (6), Intelligence (5), Agility (7) and Luck (5).

Main Perks include:

Strong Back, Lifegiver, Action Boy, Critical Banker, Wasteland Whisperer, Rifleman and "Science!"

Here is the template below:

#fallout 4 #fallout #fallout oc #the sole survivor #fo4 nate #oc: nate gust sarid #fc: steven he #series: a radioactive calamity of love bombs & gore #fo4 nora #fo4 shaun #fo4 the father #fo4 codsworth #the minutemen #the railroad #brotherhood of steel #the institute #preston garvey #fo4 deacon #conrad kellogg #piper wright #fallout 4 companions #nuka world #far harbor #the sole survivor is a synth

[love-nakamura]

Hi

For the character ask game, Percy Jackson numbers 4 and 18?

first of all HI FRIEND<33 thank you for asking you are so brave and amazing and I love you

[so the thing about Percy is 1. I love him and 2. I havent read the source material in.... Years.. but I shall answer most honestly]

4: If I could put Percy in any other media where would I put him?

a) technically he does have 2 movies hes in a TV show now my baby!!!!!!

b) actually I think this question is asking if I could put him in another world maybe..?

If so, with the pre-requisit he travels with Annabeth, I would honestly love to see him in a Brandon Sanderson universe, specifically the Reckoners series. I think it would be interesting to see him fight other People with 'powers' rather than gods/non humans.

All of the Percy Jackson series in my head always has people fighting for causes that are blamed on a higher power or another group/being (eg. the fights, although against another demigods, are people who side with demigods vs people who side with gods, titans, monsters, etc. to fulfill human desires/pride... yet at the same time these guys are being manipulated by others... ) and I would love to see him navigate slightly more human-blamed causes and issues!!

Also he would just be so cool and strong!!!!! hahah

18) A relationship Percy has in canon that I admire

all of them m...... Percy has great chemistry with Everyone, but two more specifically:

a) Grover. I think theres so much missed potential tbh in the series as time goes on. Grover is like a full ass adult but theyre also best friends. technically Grover lied by omission to percy for like the start and basis of their friendship but also they have an emotional and mental bond that connects them for life. they have saved each others lives a hundred times over. theyre brothers. also theyre stupid.

I think Grover must have felt a lot of like.. fakeness? Imposter syndrome? at first because dude hes basically a spy whos in charge of taking care of this kid, specifically a kid who reminds you a lot about a kid he Failed before.... and yet Percy forgives him and loves him and the fact that hes a half goat and an adult is like hey whatever since we're friends

It speaks a lot about Percy's character (and his loyalty) to me and also if you've read the other series you'll know Grover doesn't really go on quests anymore/show up a lot and yet their love for each other is still there and hey thats what friendship is yeah?

b) Nico. AHHH NICO *ahem* anyways. I Love Percy and Nicos relationship. one sided crush, percy is So Cool and like the Awesome Older Guy™ you know whose like..??? everything to you?? and also you're Gay and Percy freaking Hurt you and you feel like he was Wrong and Broke a Promise to you but you also realize as you grow older that guy is Literally Just A Guy™ and a Child at that.. and for Percy like.... this kid who looks up to you and hey this is actually like..? the First time in your life where someone explicitly states they think youre cool and a good role model and that Pressure!! and you feel that responsibility but also youre like 14????

and then later when you both get older you realize that the other person is so much more than you can ever see or understand and the portrait you had of them in your head barely scratches the surface and thats a Good thing because it means that people are so much greater than you knew and your past does not define you and moving on from something doesnt mean you dont love it anymore

I think Percy and Nico's relationship is admirable because theres so much forgiveness (both for each other and for themselves as they navigate what it means to have/make/maintain relationships with people that you've never experienced before) and thats beautiful to me.

this was Super Fun and I hope you have a wonderful day muah <3333

#me #pjo #ask game #THANK YOU THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN #I honestly didnt realize I had this many thoughts but like #I loved this #hope the answers were not too long or boring!!!!

[nightwingshero]

What's your role in the tragic play?

I was tagged by @simonxriley, @detectivelokis, @voidika, @shegetsburned, @socially-awkward-skeleton, and @marivenah to take this quiz for my ocs. Thank you, guys!!!

Tagging: @water-writings @acesghosts @sstewyhosseini @fadedjacket @chazz-anova @ghastlyrider @confidentandgood @baldurrs @vampireninjabunnies-blog @strafethesesinners and anyone else who would like to give it a go. 

I decided to do both my FC5 and RDR2 ocs. Under the cut because there’s quite a few. 

Wren Blake - FC5

bold protagonist

you're the star of the show, baby! and boy does that come with a lot of emotional turmoil. you have a seemingly endless supply of determination. whether you have a lot of goals, or one big one, you're constantly working towards it. you're pretty restless, and struggle with imposter syndrome and generally feeling like you should be doing more. your insecurity might not be immediately obvious to others, however, as you come across as very strong and bold. vulnerability is not your strong suit, and that's likely to be your downfall. if only you had just let people in, and asked for help... well, maybe this was always gonna be a tragedy.

Rowan Palmer - FC5

desperate narrator

this story is a cycle, and you're spinning around it like a hamster in a ball being tormented by a cat. you know how this story ends. after all, you've told it a thousand times. but you try to change it every time. you love the people in this story more than anything. so watching them fall victim to the narrative breaks you in a way you can't begin to describe. but all you can do is tell the story── their story── with tears in your eyes. you're prone to anxiety and feelings of helplessness. you have so much love in your heart, and for once you wish it would change something. it didn't. it doesn't. it won't. but you refuse to stop telling the story. and you refuse to stop loving the people in it. in this way, no one is stronger than you. you just wish being strong hurt less.

Randy Miller - FC5

unassuming extra

you had maybe 3 lines but you will forever own my heart. you play a very minor role, one often forgotten about (not by me tho bby, i'll love you forever). however, your significance in the story is pretty big. something about you propels the story forward in a way no one else can do. you tend to blend into the background, and you probably like it that way. you want a simple life, free from the drama of the main characters. unfortunately, your story is almost always cut short. your role is usually a death that kickstarts the plot. going unnoticed did not save you, but it probably did bring you some peace of mind.

Jane Williams - FC5

misunderstood villain

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

Whitney Seed - FC5

tortured love interest

you're so hot. sorry about the horrors. you're the kind of person people immediately notice. whether you have a distinct style, are more outgoing, or are just plain beautiful, you make an impression. people usually feel the need to protect you, which probably frustrates you to no end. you're not weak! you're not fragile! you're not helpless! but the people in your life tend to disagree. maybe it's your lover, the protagonist, trying to keep you out of their own turmoil. maybe it's someone responsible for you in some way, keeping you away from your lover, while they head down an increasingly dark path. regardless, all you really want is a sense of autonomy! unfortunately, you're very likely to die before that happens. the audience will be so caught up in the grief your death causes the protagonist that they forget to grieve you as a person. you deserved better, but unfortunately this is not your story. maybe it should have been.

Grace Harding - RDR2

bold protagonist

you're the star of the show, baby! and boy does that come with a lot of emotional turmoil. you have a seemingly endless supply of determination. whether you have a lot of goals, or one big one, you're constantly working towards it. you're pretty restless, and struggle with imposter syndrome and generally feeling like you should be doing more. your insecurity might not be immediately obvious to others, however, as you come across as very strong and bold. vulnerability is not your strong suit, and that's likely to be your downfall. if only you had just let people in, and asked for help... well, maybe this was always gonna be a tragedy.

Anna Dubois - RDR2

sweet supporting character

i wanna be your grandma so bad, please let me pinch your face and knit you a sweater. you're most likely the best friend of the protagonist, and there's some possible overlap between you and the narrator. you're sweet and try very hard to be selfless. you watch the ones you love descend into darkness, and make every effort to help them through it all. it's not enough. you keep trying to make it enough. you provide comic relief, a listening ear, a hug, advice── any method of support you can think of. your own personal tragedy isn't documented. sometimes you wish it was, even though you're the one who ensures it is not. you want people to care for you the way you do for others. but you refuse to ask for it, so you wait for others to read between the lines. they usually don't. at least you're the one who gets to survive the tragedy. no matter how many times you beg to trade places, it is always you at the end, sitting at someone else's grave.

#the fact that anna is an arthur ship makes hers so much worse #but they really went for their throats #theyre all stupid accurate #and the fact that wren and rowan work so well with each other #and so does randy's #just WOW #i can't emotionally recover from this one lol #oc: wren blake #oc: rowan palmer #oc: randy miller #oc: jane williams #oc: whitney seed #oc: grace harding #oc: anna dubois #my ocs #tag game

[kuruparlayan]

Not me awkwardly trying to get Adonis to do like many other characters and sign his name in Latin-script alphabet... which he is more comfortable with... did something that fit his newly shown canon handwriting...

Is having Adonis write in Japanese this bad racist? I do think so. Like a good chunk of his portrayal. With the nuance that Adonis just seems to not be delicate a person (which... also fit the racist st―anyway) and even his English writing is just quite clunky. But speaking from in-universe rules, Adonis has clear imposter syndrome, he tries so hard to fit in... he also sees Rei as his goal to who to grow as (as if he wasn't as strong or even stronger than Rei)... everyone in his unit sign their name in Latin alphabet but he keeps wanting to sign in Japanese (Turkish uses . JUST AUTOGRAPH THE WAY YOU'RE MOST COMFORTABLE WITH ADONIS YOUR FANS LOVE YOU FOR YOU...

Also the peace sign is yes self-explanatory, but it also the symbol with your hand has a special significance in the Middle East for pacifist movements...

I don't think my portrayal will reflect this yet, he needs to work on that... but my edits def will have this...

#.kuruparlayan ( headcanon )

[enigma-the-anomaly]

AKUTAGAWA ITTO AND KAVEH FOR BINGO GO 🫵

I CAN fix him. Just let me fix your hair aku baby please

he isn’t my usual type but I’m sure it says smth about me anyway

We should all just stab akutagawa. For fun

hes literally innocent? his only crime was being silly goofy

did not expect to like him as much as I do

rashomon would fix me

cant explain it but he is me fr

free space !

looking at yansim elimination methods like they’re date ideas

he should do more crimes actually

he makes me ill

HE MAKES ME ILL

HE MAKES ME ILL!!!!!

i want more of him

also, bingo on akutagawa!

I feel like some ppl make him meaner than he is. He never rly goes out of his way to be rude or hurt people, unless they were rude or hurtful first.

Strong man with long hair go brrrrr

I want him dead and buried /affectionate

he’s not a war criminal but he’s in jail a lot. Free my man

he would fix me

I am short and quiet but we are kindred spirits. You dig?

He sees the name “Arataki Shmeeto” on his name tag (free space)

he would let me wood chip him

>:))))

ough. oretty

HIM

CHOMPING HIM

I thought he would be in the inazuma quest :/

I have never been odd about him :)

He’s in a lot of events and he shows up in two separate hangouts but I need More.

Holding out my hand kaveh let’s take ibuprofen together

HE IS A GENIUS ON ALHAITHAM’S LEVEL HE IS WELL KNOWN AND RESPECTED OKAY?

Something something mommy issues

I want to hurt him. Mwah

Need him to be a vampire and eated me

SOMETHING SOMETHING MOMMY ISSUES HIGH EXPECTATIONS SELF DOUBT IMPOSTER SYNDROME ETC ETC

(free space) *alhaitham voice* KA veh

no capes *fuckin. throws him in the chipper*

he should be traumatized more

HNNNNNNNG

everywhere I go i see his face

I NEED TO WEAR HIS SKIN

WJAT THOSE BEAUTIFUL HANDS DO

LEAVE HIM ALOOOONE ONLY I CAN HURT HIM

i am not strange nor unusual about him :)

i know I said no more situations BUT. he got one scene in the archon quest and one scene in alhaitham’s quest. I know he has a hangout but I haven’t done it yet, and PoP was limited time. I want more permanent content of him

this was fun! thank you!

#blorbo bingo