Tumgik
#anyway i ate to try and calm the anxiety and it worked but now the guilt comes <3
newtthetranswriter · 3 months
Note
Hi I was wondering if you could do a match up for Tokyo rev, Fairytail and jujutsu kaisen.
im a very paranoid person, I always rethink things over and over, I have really bad social anxiety, I like editing, drawing, I write a few fanfics on wattpad here and there.
I tend to get turned off really easily, I don’t mean sexually! I mean like I could be really good friends with someone and all it takes is for them to say one mean thing to me and i automatically dislike them, this doesn’t go for family though! Or close friends that I have known for 10+ years.
I have an ed, so I have trouble eating, I also am Autistic so I get annoyed very easily and over stimulated, I’m quite a frigid person, I don’t like hugging, but I don’t complain if someone hugs me.
I’m also very shy, I have trouble opening up to people and trusting them, I’m 18 and very weird, I also vape but idk if that’s important.
I love your writing btw!
A/n: Hello and thank you, I’m glad you enjoy my writing. I hope you enjoy this and have a great day. I hope it’s okay I mentioned them trying to help with your ed, if not just let me know and I can edit that part out. Anyway, enjoy and remember to hydrate or diedrate.
Tokyo Revengers: Ken ‘Draken’ Ryuguji
He doesn’t pressure you to do anything that could cause anxiety, don’t want to go out today, okay let’s stay here and watch a movie
Draken isn’t a very touchy person so not hugging isn’t a big deal, he just enjoys being around you
He’s also a frigid person so most people wonder how you ended up together but it’s simple, you understand each other
Tries to keep you out of over stimulating situations, like crowded malls or hell if a toman meeting caused a panic attack once he’ll constantly reassure you that you don’t have to go
We all know he’s close with Mikey but if y’all are out and about and Mikey gets too crazy over dumbshit he’ll just leave
Ken just wants you to be comfortable, also you being around lets him leave when Mikey is having a tantrum cause he’s gotta make sure you’re ok first
As for your ed, he does what he can to help, be it offering you foods he know you like or even just asking every day if you ate
He won’t force you to eat, but really wants to make sure you are getting some kind of calorie intake, even if it’s just a tea or coffee from the vending machine, it may not be food but at least it’s a little bit
He just wants you to know he supports you and when you are ready he will help in whatever way he can
Fairy Tail:  Gray Fullbuster
Gray is fine just relaxing in quiet spot and watching you draw or write
He would also stop fighting Natsu as much when you’re around just so you don’t have to deal with the noise
He also doesn’t mind that you aren’t a fan of hugs, he’s more of a I’m fine just being around you kinda guy
Gray also won’t pressure you to eat, suggests something every now and then but understands that it can be hard so let’s you move at your own pace
If he senses you’re overstimulated he will do whatever he can to either help you calm down or get you away from the stresser
Even though he’s part of team Natsu he will try and take some missions that just the two of you can handle so you can have a break from the ruckus of the guild hall
Jujutsu Kaisen:  Megumi Fushiguro
Megumi is the kinda a guy who will just sit and relax and if you happen to be in the same space cool
Doesn’t force you to deal with anything you don’t want to, such as yuji or gojo being obnoxious, he will tell them to leave if they’re bugging you
Asks you about things you’re working on, how's that new drawing going, or what are you editing today
He also tends to be cold so you not opening up quickly isn’t a big deal for him, take your time he’s there for you
Megumi will make sure you’re eating, not in a pushy way but more of ‘did you eat today’ if you say no he helps you pick something small and if you say yes he drops the subject 
He doesn’t want you to feel pressured to get help, he’ll suggest it but he’s aware how hard admitting when you need help can be
12 notes · View notes
bugbyte · 5 months
Text
Today was good! I’m a little overwhelmed!
3:30 am posting because I’m feeling slightly wound thanks to today being a whole day, but it wasn’t a bad day?
Short version: bunch of appointments, thankfully all online, but after last week being stress central this was tolerable. I got my MMJ eval and it was quick and easy and if anything I over prepared because I’m so used to not being believed and having to back myself up with data. (Which I have to gather and keep for myself because medicine is apparently just a free for all where no one communicates with each other through the online app they have specifically so they can all access data about me from each other! Neat!)
Anyway that was a major relief and I was ready to cry because they said that this should work really well with the conditions and symptoms I have. I’ll probably write something up on the process later (because I would’ve liked a plain English walkthrough of what to expect but that’s ok) but I got my card from the state, which is all digital now, so welcome to the future, I guess.
We headed out to a pretty well reviewed and priced medical dispensary in the area and had a long info session on what would work best for me and landed on some low dose (for now) capsules and gummies. Then we got fried chicken because I’d had enough for one day and went home to see if it would work.
I took a capsule, ate my chicken, and waited. They did advise taking it with a fatty food (could’ve been peanut butter or avocado or anything really; we just got chicken for its uh, health…improving….properties….yeah that sounds right) It took like a solid hour and change to notice anything, and the effects were pretty minor.
I kept trying to explain what was happening to Delade but it was a very subtle thing and hard to get across. Basically the calmest I’ve felt in ages (bonus) and like a slight tiredness, like when you’re tired at the end of the day but not exhausted or like drugged tired if you take something to get to sleep and it hits hard. Just a nice soft calm feeling.
I got brave and tried adding in an extra half a gummy (watermelon flavor!) and that hit much more quickly and mostly just added to the soft feeling. Trying to put it in better words, it was like the different between laying directly on the hard floor, or laying on a puffy blanket on the floor. You can still feel the floor, but it’s much more comfortable than otherwise. I didn’t really feel particularly loopy other than finding a few things funnier than they probably actually were. I think I would compare it in drowsiness more to like…if you’ve been given an opioid after surgery or dental work or something, it’s kind of more like that than feeling just knocked right out. I always felt like these kinds of things gave me a sort of “cozy,” safe feeling while still being conscious enough to do some light things, and this was similar. Everybody’s different though so I might be a weirdo.
So yeah, it does work! I wasn’t expecting like a 100% change in pain levels, and this will definitely take some fine tuning to get right, but there was a difference for sure. I had the makings of a nasty headache after being stressed out all afternoon, which didn’t seem affected much by anything I took so that’s interesting. If I hadn’t had the headache I probably would have attempted some comic work but staring directly into a screen felt like a bad idea. In any case the sharp edges of the pain in the rest of my body got filed way down and I’m pretty amazed overall.
I know this can work now! So I can try again tomorrow! Hopefully with less stress headache so I can get a better gauge on how it actually feels! And hopefully try to draw.
So now I just have to figure out how not to feel weird about this talking to various doctors. Some recommended it, some I can imagine being less positive, but I think the anxiety about being judged is mostly in my head.
Anyway! It was a good experience overall, both the process for getting the card and actually trying the drug itself. If it’s something you’ve been looking into and have questions I can try and answer based on my (admittedly brief) experience so far. I only know how things work in NY, but being pretty anxious I get how it can feel more enormous to figure out when you don’t know the whole scope of a thing or what it’s like to actually do.
This entire thing makes me cackle btw because in fifth grade I won some DARE essay contest in school and I think got some kind of gift card I spent on art supplies, and a hat with the DARE lion mascot thing on it, which I think I still have and should probably start wearing for maximum dumbassery.
4 notes · View notes
smallbutters · 2 years
Text
Stargazing without any bugs
Despite knowing about it for a few weeks, the day you two planned to go stargazing came without warning. Unless you count marking it on your calendar as a warning; or setting reminders on your phone a warning. Then you had multiple warnings. No matter - it was today, and you were ready as you will ever be. 
You had gone about the whole day pacing around your apartment, changing clothes, trying to stay calm, then pacing around some more. You hadn’t heard from them all day - and it was killing you. Had they changed their mind about tonight? It was their idea to meet outside of the city and, as they put it, ‘get away from stuff’; so they wouldn’t have randomly canceled. You could barely touch the dinner you had prepared, the butterflies inside you killing whatever appetite you had. As you were cleaning off your plate, you heard your phone chime; as dumb as it sounds, you could feel the vibration of it inside you. Rushing to check it (and almost dropping the plate in the process), the familiar feeling of that anxiety-inducing warmth spread over you. 
Astro-not
Just got in the taxi, heading there now!
You
Finishing dinner - I’ll be leaving v shortly
Astro-not
hehehe
‘hehehe’? What did that mean? God, they always knew how to confuse you. But in all honesty, you were just confusing yourself. At the end of the day, you had brought this upon yourself. You had always fallen fast and fallen hard, even when it felt like it came from nowhere. Sure, they had always lent you their notes, and covered for you when your professor called on you for a hard question. When you met in the campus store in the unholy hours of the night, and they paid for your cup of coffee and box of toaster pastries, that was just a good deed. And even tonight was just them needing help with work - they had missed class for a few days, and wanted to catch up. They must have still been a little sick when they asked, why else would their face be a little pink? Yeah, you were definitely overreacting.
--------
The meeting spot was a little further out than you were thinking when they had told you about it all those weeks ago; you could barely see the city in your rearview anymore. Not that you minded, the quiet was good for the soul. The sunset was violently bright, the deep reds and oranges blinding you as you stepped out of your car - almost keeping you from seeing their silhouette standing on the hill. Almost. And you thanked whoever was watching you from above that you didn’t miss it. Their eyes were closed, which gave you ample time to totally not be creepy and watch them. The rays of sun illuminating every nook and cranny of their face, seemingly holding it gently. You never thought you’d be jealous of the sun. They held themselves loosely as they basked in the setting sun - you silently promised yourself that if you ever got the chance, you’d hold them tighter. You must have been standing there for too long, absorbed in your thoughts, because you didn’t notice when they turned and saw you. Or notice how their breath caught just a little as they realized you were looking at them.
“Hey hey! You gonna stand there? Or are we going to do this?” 
-------
It was nice catching up after not seeing each other for a few days. They talked your ear off, rambling about how their cat ate too much grass and then threw it up, how grossed out they were when they had to clean it up, and how they knew how their cat was likely eating too much grass right now. You two laughed together - they were totally right.
“Anyways, what did I miss in class? I have a feeling professor Jay called on you again to ask about things you have no way of knowing?” They asked, reminding you that you were actually supposed to be doing productive things.
“Of course he did - I still think that he’s some sort of academically-powered sadist.” You said, getting a small chuckle in return. “But you didn’t miss all that much, we covered more theories on gravity, and whether or not it could change overtime.”
“Oooo! Did that one frat guy ask something dumb like ‘can it make me get better gains’?” They asked - and it was a little sad to say no, even though that one frat guy totally would ask something like that.
 You two laughed and chatted, and those feelings from earlier only strengthened as the sky darkened and slowly began to glow in starlight. You tried your very hardest to be subtle about them, but you’ve never been the best at hiding things - especially from them. You didn’t know if it was because you made them obvious, or if they just knew you really well. Maybe both. 
But tonight seemed to be worse, with no class to fake pay attention to when you got caught staring, or a city to distract them. 
“Is everything okay? You keep looking at me with a dumb face.” They asked.
“I hate to break it to you - but that dumb face is just how I look.” You said, trying to mask your embarrassment from being caught with dry wit.
“You know that’s not what I meant; you have a dumb expression on.” They responded with an eye roll. “Wait, I don’t have a bug on my face, do I?!” Panic was clear in their voice - they were always scared of bugs.
“What? No - I promise there are approximately zero bugs on your face.” Another mask.
“Then what’s with that look? It’s too focused for you - are you checking for bugs?” They were still worried about those damn bugs - too involved in that to think about why you were looking so intensely at them. In a way, you were thankful.
“I will be now, if that helps.” You responded, a little happy that you now had an excuse to keep being creepy.
-------
The night grew darker and colder, but neither of you seemed to mind. The conversation calmed a little, with an occasional break for admiring the stars. You regularly checked for bugs, as you promised. But every time you went to check, they were already looking at you - were they also checking for bugs?
“Now you’re doing it!” You said, breaking the silence, and seemingly scaring them.
“What? I’m not doing anything! I’m just…” They trailed off, not meeting you in the eyes.
“Bull - I keep catching you watching me! You don’t need to check me for bugs - they don’t bother me.” You said in an attempt to reassure them. It didn’t seem to work.
“Am not! And bugs don’t get you, you’re too cold so they don’t see you as food.” They said, trying to divert the attention from them totally staring at you. Again, it didn’t seem to work.
“Okay, first off ouch, secondly, if you’re not checking for bugs then what the hell are you doing? You’re too quiet - you’d usually be going off about constellations or something.” You asked, despite the feeling you had deep down that you knew why they were looking.
“What? I’m not that annoying about space! And I told you, I’m just-” They stopped, trying to think of a good comeback. “Well maybe, I’m looking at you because you’re looking at me!” 
“What in the world does THAT mean? That’s such a kindergarten thing to say.” You said, really hoping that they meant what you thought they meant.
“Well why can’t I look at you? You can look at me, so why can’t I do the same?”
“Because you don’t know why I’m looking at you, and you can’t do things without a reason.” You said.
That stupid, anxious warmth was back in your chest. It was stupid to feel it - as much as you wanted it, even though you dream of it nightly, you two didn’t see each other in the same light. You knew it; they were just a nice person, treating everyone they know with this sweetness. And you were just a dumbass lying about checking them for bugs.
“Then why are you looking at me?” 
You didn’t respond. What were you supposed to say? Another lie about bugs, so you hide your feelings? The truth - that you swear on your life that they aren’t from this world, that you got jealous of the sun for being closer to them then you are?
“Are you looking at me-” they scooted closer, (or was it your imagination?) - “for the same reason I’m looking at you?”
Your eyes shot up, meeting theirs. Those butterflies that stole your dinner earlier were back, but much stronger. This had to be a misunderstanding - you were just overreacting again. Thinking too hard about things and twisting them into what you want. Your words seemed to be caught in your throat (if they were even there to begin with), a spell of silence falling over you both again. You didn’t know how long you two were looking at each other, searching in the others’ eyes for something that you didn’t know. Would you know when you found it?
“You’re weird.” You spoke up, saying the first coherent thought you had, even though it wasn’t any good. “I mean-” You sighed, “I don’t think you know what that means.”
“If you don’t think I know, then you must know right?” They responded, “So then tell me. What does it mean?”
“That…” You stopped. “That you and I…” 
You internally cringed at yourself. Why couldn’t you say anything? They looked at you expectedly, and your first good idea of the night came.
Maybe talking wasn’t your thing.
“You.. you have a little something right there” You said, pointing to no place in particular.
You didn’t let them respond before you leaned in, holding their cheek lightly. Your lips made contact with their skin and you prayed they couldn’t feel your heart literally explode. You didn’t know someone could have such kissable cheeks - was the other one like this too? You really hoped you’d get the chance to find out.Their breath hitched slightly, making you worry you had gone too far. Staying for a few seconds before pulling back, you tried to calm your heart, but with little success. You were still closer than before. 
“Oh- ” They sighed out, “That’s what you mean.”
10 notes · View notes
timeoverload · 6 months
Text
I haven't felt this frustrated in a while. I'm mostly frustrated with myself though. Tonight didn't go the way I hoped it would. I think maybe I should just stop getting my hopes up and everyone else's because I do it every damn time. I'm sorry.
I spent the whole day feeling so anxious that I thought I was going to get sick and that always happens. I don't want to feel like that because I can't function in that state. I spent so much time trying to calm myself down earlier. I wish I could relax. I always go in there shaking like a leaf and I can't control it. It's embarrassing and I hate it so much. I feel like my social anxiety is getting worse instead of better even though I do try to put myself out there.
I feel like I never know the right things to say in the moment and then later on I think of a better response but it's always too late. I was hoping you were going to go outside for a cigarette so I could try to talk to you about stuff again. I guess I didn't ask either so that's my fault. I think next time I will just ask you for a cigarette even though I haven't had one in a long time. I know things have to work out eventually because it feels like it's meant to be and I have faith in that.
I'm sad but I'm not going to let myself cry this time. I'm not going to sit here and complain about it anymore. I really do complain too much and I realize that. I should stop doing that so much on here. I'm feeling like I need to retreat back into my shell. I need to stop oversharing. Sometimes I think I should just get a journal because it would probably be good for me. I'm really not trying to be a drag because I know I can be sometimes. I don't want to bother anyone with my problems.
I'm also realizing how dull I am. I know I need to find hobbies. I wish I could get excited about doing something new. I can't get excited about anything but it's probably just because I'm depressed. I don't think being neurodivergent helps. I'm so tired of doing the same stuff all the time. I think I need to decrease the amount of time I spend on the internet so I probably won't be on here as often. I need a little bit of a break I think.
I really don't want to call in tomorrow because I will probably spend the day feeling guilty. I wish I didn't feel bad about wanting to take care of myself. I don't think I will be in a good place mentally or physically so it would probably be best for me to stay home anyway. I don't think I ate enough today either because it's impossible when I'm nervous. I'm having a beer right now but I'm not going to have any more. I don't even feel like finishing the one I have. I'm going to have to wake up around 3:45 and I don't want to oversleep. If I do stay home tomorrow, I'm going to try to find some books to read or something. I'm planning on working Thursday for sure because I don't have any PTO left.
I guess I'm going to try to decompress the rest of the night. I don't want to get upset. I'm not sure what else to say right now. I don't think I will be awake much longer because I got up at 6:30 and I'm tired. I hope that tomorrow is a better day for everyone.
0 notes
transformingdeath · 10 months
Text
I’ve been having a shut down after work pretty much every day and today is the only day where I’m off and my partner is supposed to work, so when he took off I settled into a nice calm quiet morning doing nothing so I could have plenty of battery this afternoon to clean and make dinner. I even ate a little first thing and was planning on eating more very soon, a rare thing for me but I can tell my body’s really been needing it lately.
But then one of my partner’s service calls fell through and he came home and since he’s in productive mode he kept asking me stuff and ranting and then emptying the dishwasher which was so loud until I finally started crying and told him to stop, and he even asked me if I could go to the bedroom while he did stuff. I don’t want to have to be trapped in the bedroom just because he wants to do stuff when this is my one morning in the entire week to just have quiet.
He ended up going to the bedroom to do online work trainings which he should’ve been doing anyway instead of cleaning the kitchen. And like I get he was trying to do smth for *us* but he doesn’t load the dishwasher right and it would cause more anxiety than help anyway. And now because of all that I’m so stressed and anxious that I don’t feel hungry anymore and I’m back to feeling completely drained and it’s already almost 10am so most of my designated time to recoup has now been wasted.
I think I’ll talk with him more when we’re both regulated about how Friday mornings *need* to be quiet time for me in order to function properly. It also sucks because I’m feeling switchy with Sprout but he’s uncomfortable with child alters so she’s also feeling sad now when I was just starting to cheer her up.
I need alone time. I love him so much but people are so exhausting.
1 note · View note
Text
Hi again
I'm back here way sooner than I expected honestly. I'll start off with uh the week did NOT go to plan whatsoever but I'm trying to not end of the world mode off any and all deviation from my original plan sooo I am mostly okay with that. Ish. For one, I came to my senses and decided against the mini origami as filling. It woulda been cute yeah but she is a massive hoarder when it comes to any sort of sentimental shit so was just imagining her tryna store all 80 trillion of em and I was just like... nah...... lets not. I just told her the truth in the small aggressive take-the-damn-gift note I left. Plus I didn't sit there and try to rush like I thought I would. I actually accidentally did my own thing day one then shit just kept happening and... I boohooed and slept most of the week ngl 💀💀💀
THO one thing that happened that was slightly out of my control was my aunt invite/dragging me out to this event thingy. I believe I told yall I went to pride with her earlier this year and had a good time and apparently I didn't ruin it for them! Tho it's kinda bittersweet cause of a lot just.. family shit I wish I was young enough to stay ignorant to still. It was easy to play dumb growing up but now that I am a lot more emotionally intelligent annnnd now hang around with her alot its putting me in this corner that I have no clue how I'm going to get out of.
Anyway that was not the introduction to something as it probably sounded assss I have not slept in two days and while I am weirdly alert for whatever reason I am sure ASFFF not finna stay up tryna write. I alwayssss do it oml until I feel satistfied I'll go on and on. Basically tho, I was saying the 14th as R's brithday is on the 18th and I wanted to make sure that it'd be nearly guaranteed to be there in time so the plan was sending it 4 days early so it'd more than likely be there the day before and I could just tell her not to open (ah tho.. Im honestly just hype to see her reaction I dont think I'd bother to make her wait). Tho the concoction my aunt had me on... had other plans. I lost another day of my work week on Saturday to go with her and oh my god.. Sunday was out the question too. I wasn't so much gone gone it was just a LOT. I already crying the night before so I took like 900 or so tryna force myself to sleep before only to find out calcium can effect that stuff...? I don't know I could not sleep for the life of me even when I laid there chilling for at least an hour and a half. So no sleep + nearly a gram and most of it still floating around asss I took it not too long before all this + FOR ONCE NOT WATERED DOWN ALCOHOL (ish it was this big ass can of black cherry something) so I actually felt something fr + walking around and lowkey sweating.. + her possessed weed had me like. DONE. DONE DONE. I wanted to go to bed the entiiiiiree time I was there as I was shleepy plus I'm guessing since I don't smoke too often but I have a really hard time processing whats going on when Im off her weed so even with it mostly cooled off by the time I went home I died on the spot. Then I woke up, ate.. then promptly died for another 6.
Sooooo I sent it today. Lowkey in a panic as atp nothing was going to plan and I literally hadn't sent anything in the mail in so long I was scared I'd do it all wrong. I knew I could ask but. I am a ball of anxiety. Didn't even think of it til I was tryna calm down on the way back.
Tho explain to me how even with me getting just plain ass priority mail as the box I had on deck was bootleg and me previously calculating this shit out on the website and having everything seeming fine and dandy.
Only to look at the receipt and see that it's gonna come the day before more than likely
Like.. how on earth.
2 days?? AND I DIDNT HAVE TO PAY EXTRA????
I hope it's right! That'd be so convenient dude now I know whenever I'm sending her shit I only gotta time it for two days before
Annnd I know I still said I owed an explanation for my absence and shit and I am still holding myself accountable on that. Cause I mean.. what's the point in going back on my word on that you know?
This was just a little mini something to make it clear I did not die or anything. Plus the draft I was writing before was so fucking bad. SO bad. I was goneee tryna write while I was crying and the tears made me already shitty spelling so bad.. But the little tangent I went on was kinda sweet honestly. I neveer really get to joke about my grades in school so it was nice that me just talking shit about an old situation got me out my funk for a little. I think you'd be able to tell kinda. Or maybe only I can since I can see specifics on it that others wouldn't notice. I dunno. But yeah 2 stories about my notable bad grades in highschool. Its a more personal one so I would not be offended if this is where you'll stop reading. Just wanted to say I'm alr.
My dumb stories about my grades
I used to be on a robotics team
No.. not battlebots.. 🥲
Twas a FRC robotics team. Which means nothing to anyone outside the community but for people that've done it know all the hassle with that shit. My team was particularly bad with that. I was on a relatively historic team, one of last original teams that were still active, a triple digit team (very rare now as team numbers are given numerically and I think frc has like 8-10k teams now) annnd we had a few duties on top of just building a robot. Was a very involved rookie, mostly there for scholarship opportunities but I made a few friends there that made me stick around and in turn made me pretty reliable.
Which.. ah. I wish I could go back honestly. One of the worst times of my life. It was fun here and there, but for the most part it was just a lot to constantly stress on. First off, one of the only black people on the team and I was one of the few girls ("girls" sob sob) on the team
Im now fluid and while it doesnt bother me that people have and still mostly perceive me as a woman, having my womanhood highlighted for some buzz word shit/girlboss nonsense is a giant pet peeve of mine. One of the main reasons I moved onto fluidness. It's hard to explain honestly. I feel like I am a woman in some aspects but I'd rather it not be acknowledged. The fluidness would be in like how little I want that piece of me acknowledged. Somedays I'm completely chill and you can call me ma'am and use she/her without me even noticing it really. But other days that shit. Stings. I'll go out my way to look more neutral and I hope that even for a second people question what to call me. She/her is still pretty whateverish but fem terms piss me off to an extreme. These days I try to stay Isolated for the most part cause it's so bad I'd be on the verge of tears/in a blind rage over someone simply calling me young lady. I fully acknowledge that part of it ain't cool so I'm trying to better about making preferred terms clear during that stuff and even with that I try to avoid talking so I don't even have the opportunity to be misgendered
But with that all being said... my womanhood being tokenized WITH my blackness?? Hell. Hellllllllll.
I at the time didn't recognize my fluidness but having those non woman days back then and still having to be the bubbly girl rookie for a good I think 20-25ish hours a week was a lot. I was a tryna be the bubbly girl everyone expected me to be while also being shoved into a leadership position because of that previously mentioned tokenization. Which was hard as is. I wish I could go back then and just show my dumbass what I am now. I'm sure I woulda quit on the spot annnd came to my spicy basics style that I am now :)
Ah but slight tangent. Anyway uh that all was going on but I actually had more there going on. Our team was also had a lot of cattiniess and fakeness going on. A longtime family of the team had previous issues with them shoving their kids to the center of attention with EVERYTHINGGG. It was extremely frustrating as they'd want them to be the leader of anything worth a damn. On one hand, made sense. They were very talented and they were experienced in a lot of the shit we were doing. However, it ain't exactly a great look to have the team be essentially these two and everyone else just being the help. Plus, one was a junior and we had a strict rule about no one coming back to be a mentor for at least 2 years after you graduated hs (cause of previous events/drama before my time there, lowkey think it's a massive mistake as most alumni build enough of a life outside of the team in the time to the point that they can't/won't come back 95% of the time) so once he left it'd leave a huge skill gap if we allowed it. That and, I won't lie, the boys were dicks when they got down to business (a weirdly common trait with future engineering/computer science majors for whatever reason). While even in the short time I knew them I could see it mostly being due to their parents treatment of them, it was not a common thing apparently.
I tried to stick up for them where I could and talk and scold them when I could see they were out of line. I'm not usually all that bold but. At that point I was there more than I was home so I got a lot more comfortable airing my opinions there. Welp. Sort of. Me doing that somehow someway turned me into the fucking teams therapist. It was okay at first when I was handling a pair of privileged but well meaning and confused boys and it was all of my own will. But that shit turned into EVERYONE coming to me for shit like that. I've heard damn near everyone's dirty secrets at that point
Shoot. Mentors going through divorce and fantasizing/crushing on other mentors, them same grown ass mentors coming to me to whine and ask about the boys, this one team member with a weird savior complex that led him to whine and throw tantrum after tantrum since he wasn't getting his way, meeting my ex best friend and dealing with her abusive mother and her various now very obvious bpd related relationship issues, met my ex through that and promptly got groomed...
That was on top of the already complicated duties of just being on the damn team anyway. We were there damn near everyday for at least 3 hours at a time, including over 12 hour days on Saturdays. I was being pulled in every direction. Every two seconds I was tending one issue or another. Either dealing with the two faced team that would talk all partnership and fairness at large meetings and gatherings but regularly talk shit about any and everyone on the team, running to the rescue of my ex best friend whether that was wiping her tears because of something her mom said or did or helping her get with whatever dude she was interested in at the time or listening to my ex's whining about whatever he was stressing on which was usually my ex best friend that he played being over but like 2 mo after he fucked me over claimed he was always in love with. Just a lot for a 15-16 y/o to be dealing with. Especially with me going from not having friends close enough to have issues like that to having EVERYONE seeing me as they damn bestie
Which led to me to severely neglect myself. I wasn't showering the way I should, I was constantly picking at my skin (mostly my face ngl) and I started cutting around this time. I was extremely suicidal as well but I knew if I killed myself at that time it'd be a massive inconvenience for everyone since they were all depending on me. I started talking to my ex all night and sleeping every other day to accommodate. I started to completely forget about school entirely.
My grades tanked by my standards. I usually keep mostly high A's with a few B's in classes that were less lenient with my forgetfulness when it came to homework. But I started going from that to mostly b's and a few a's. I was just exhausted. I was ripping and running almost everyday and it wasn't even at its peak
The second semester was a lot more hectic with robotics, we had competitions left and right which started making me behind in a few classes. We at first would just miss a friday here and there but then it started to be Thursdays and fridays. THEN a week for world champs which was AWFUL to catch up from. Most of the teachers did not care that we were dipping and just gave us the work and we were to have it done by like... either the day we came back or a few days after. It varied ofc and i cant remember specifics specifics but i know it wasnt that that lenient.
Plus heightened tensions with the team as it was build/comp season, it was bad. Constant drama. Constant. I couldn't escape it. Shit tankkkkkked my GPA. Even as the comps and shit slowed down it was still so much extra and around this time I was in the "talking stage" with my ex and I was sometimes going days and days not sleeping tryna talk with him, with a quick nap for the like hour and a half I was home before robotics..
I semi fixed it by the end of the year. Mostly anyway. My ex best friend had an incident that landed her in mental institutes a few diff times so I had one less client to worry about for a little while. Once she came back I think me and my ex started dating like 2 weeks before the seniors graduated and left which was like a month before the rest of us got out. All that going on made me semi relax and get my shit together
It was as fixed as it could be lmao. I think I had a single A and all the rest were B's with an exception of economics....
Most teachers just ain't say nothing when I'd set an old assignment somewhere. They'd grade jt and boom. That's that. The teachers that would notice notice I didn't even bother trying and I'd instead do the last few assignments to the best of my ability and make sure I'd ace or damn near ace every test and that month with me dating my ex but not seeing him at school made things a lot easier. I didn't think I really needed to like FIGHT to keep his attention as much so I was sleeping more often. Plus, drama teamwise got a lot better as most of the team graduated and we went back to the non comp season schedule so wayyyyyyy less meetings and shorter ones too. Overall more sleep and less stress so more focus on school
Man.. and side note why the first week I was with my ex my skin damm near completely cleared?? That shit makes me want to kms looking back that is NOT fair 😭
Anyway. Everything got a lot better and having an entire month to pretty much exclusively focus on school was great. It was bout 30ish of the workload so long as I wasn't doing absolutes nothing through the year I could get a decentish grade. Plus, my issue was never that I wasn't understanding or remember what they were teaching. I would wear an earbud and listen to music during class and the switching focus between that helped me remember stuff better as I wasn't daydreaming or thinking as much.
Sooo for most I was all good. The tests were good, sleep was good, some old assignments were put in and all my new ones were pretty much 85-100 everytime, and most tests were a breeze. The assignments definitely helped ofc but for most classes me having consistently great test scores kept me at a mid-high grade anyway so the assignments just leveled shit out.
ECONOMICS HOWEVER. Holy God bruh. THE SHIT WAS ASSSS. The teacher I got was notorious for her horrible teaching, to the point multiple seniors warned me to switch out of her class if I got her. But, my dumbass not understanding how to do that mess, I was too honest on why I wanted to switch classes and got sat down and denied. They told me they couldn't switch me for shit like that and they said she had a whole other teacher with her now so it should be better anyway
Wrong.
Horrible bruh. HORRIBLE. 99% of the tests were just shit from her PowerPoints which was only vaguely related to the textbook. The extra teacher did us a favor and pointed out to focus on the PowerPoints and that helped a TON on tests. I would for the most part get near perfect/perfect scores as I literally didn't even have to attempt to read or anything. It was usually line for line from the PowerPoint
But there was two issues with that model
One: the little workbook/packet we were supposed to be working through with each chapter were mostly textbook based. Which was kinds hard as you were teaching yourself for the most part with that mess as the PowerPoints explained everything completely differently from the textbook and had their own examples. I usually didn't even bother cause I'd either be lost at what I was doing or it'd be some shit like oh make a poem about this or draw this and I'm like what? Fuck that wth
But two is what did it. The seemingly standard of tests being worth more than assignments was the opposite in her class. So I could sit there and clearly show that I was paying attention and I understand the concepts she was teaching and still fail the course since I didn't do the petty activities she'd copy and paste from the textbooks
I tried to argue my point as I literally only got the d because of my nearly perfect test score on the final which SHOULD BE THE IMPORTANT THING as that shows I learned wth I needed to. But a combination of an already stubborn teacher, her weird beef with me that was ongoing that entire semester (didn't believe I was in robotics fr and also got confirmed as a racist a little while into my senior year which made a few more things click as well.. 💀💀💀) and her doubt that I even actually understood the material as if I cheated... when I was usually one of the first done with the damn test just led me to drop it and deal with it
I ended up retaking the class my senior year as our school had a grade replacement policy and a special class I took had me ahead with credits anyway. Oddly enough got the same teacher again which was odd... but got it in the same hour with my youngest sister (that I live with anyway). She didn't get the extra teacher this year as dude quit last year but it didn't end up mattering cause of the pandemic. Waaaaayyy less focus on textbooks period as they ain't wanna figure out how they were gonna deal with sanitizing em so she changed her assignments accordingly. She acted stupid and acted like she didn't remember me... while ofc remembering to mispronounce my name everytime she said it 🙃
It was soo petty lmfao. I didn't even realize she was doing it until my sister corrected her a few different times. The way she was saying it was pretty common so i usually don't bother to correct people if they use that name instead as I've grown so used to it its basically a second name atp. But my sister ofc ain't used to it so she'd correct her everytime she said it. To give her credit, pandemic made it where we were completely online on semester and the next we were in 2 days a week, but at the same point... cmon now. It ain't even that deep 😭
I think like a month into us being back semi in person she called somebody a nigger bruh.. not in our class or anything but nonetheless it happened. I didn't hear too much of the context but it happened in her 4th hour class annnd she babied them the entire year to keep em from getting her fired. Like deadass buying pizza for these mfs, skipping assignments, taking em outside and turning a blind eye to a few seniors dipping when they was out. The whooooole shebang bro. That shit instantly made so much small shit she was doing in my sophomore year make total sense. I shoulda aggravated her and got her exposed earlier bruh....
Now gym???
Dude can kiss my dick bruh man was out here tryna tell my big ass to run mostly 85-100 degree weather when I not only TOOK THAT SHIT IN MIDDLE SCHOOL SPECIFICALLY SO I WPULDNT NEED TO IN HIGH SCHOOL but it ain't count cause of differences in the districts/states requirements but also had that mess as a third hour class, which meant a whole nother hour of sitting there sweaty af in another class until lunch. If I woulda had it as a 4th hour class I woulda been chill on that as lunch meant I wasn't rushing to anywhere and I could prolly whole ass lunch period to wash up if I wanted to.
But 3rd???
Got me fucked bruh
I'm not gon sit there sweaty and gross and only get 15 mins to change and get to a class across the campus (open campus thing.. no hallways just a big ass field with buildings and stairs around for the actual classrooms. Semi makes sense but still the most backwards shit I've ever seen) ANNND sit there still sweaty and half dead in a whole diff class
Semester before I barely got a B cause it started cool down to junk like 60-75 which is wayyyyy more my speed and I could do more without sweating too bad. Tho I was one of the only ones that ain't run. I wouldn't do any more than like.. 20 sec bursts with a looooooong ass recovery time. So warmup running shit was 95% walking for me and the mile ain't even attempt. I got a cool 21 mins on that shir 💀💀💀
The semester after is where it came to a head. By April I abandoned even them few seconds of running as by that point we were LUCKY to get anything under 95 and I was done just being out there. Going from MI's prolly 75-80ish spring/early summr and it not even mattering as we'd be indoor with ac all day to whole fucking sports and shit outside.. hell nah
We FINALLY start coming inside to play instead like 2-3 weeks before we dipped for summer break cause it was consistently 100 degree weather and even mfs that lived in AZ all they lives was going through it. Sooo we did our thing, I still ain't run out of habit ofc ofc but I did semi well at volleyball and badminton so that wasn't too notable. Gave me a bit of a boost so I went from like.. lowish c to a mid c which was cool
Then. Oh my god. Bro. So I got a like. Prolly 60 on the mile. Got it on some technicality that I didn't know about so I was pretty shocked on that. Second semester tho it was like over 100 and he'd be out his mind asking ANYONE to run out there. So instead of letting everyone else run while I leisurely waik and call it a day, we instead did the pacer teat
Dude explained it all to us. Basically was like every one pacer thingy is one percent. So, you'd have to run 100 of em to get a perfect score. There were ofc, the few dudes acting like this was some alpha male contest and kept going past that to show out, plus get extra credit, only to be told that was never part of the plan and they did that for no reason 😵‍💫
Ah but rewind mb mb. Uh dude explained and I was like... oh shit. Yeah I'm failing tf out this. The highest I've EVER gotten was a 26 in like.. elementary school. Shit was like 3rd-4th grade and I had since gotten A. Lot older and less active and B. Fatter. I've been overweight but not morbidly so my entire life. I think I'm now barely plus size. Kinda varying on where I'm getting the shit I'm either on the very end of normal sizing or the very very beginning of plus sizing, 0x. Uh which is oddly hard to find
Ah tangent tangent anyway yeah. I'm sitting there like fuck yeah I'm failing th out this final. At my peak I would be getting a 25% and I knew damn sure I wasn't at my peak. So I start calculating it all out.... I'd have to get like 50-60ish laps to pass the class. I'm already coming to terms with it, thinking about taking a summer class for it and keeping it moving, when dude stopped me at the end of class and STRESSED that I ran. Which lowkey pisaed me off ngl... uh but I knew why he did so I tried to not be spiteful the day of
I was tryna be a good little student. Got a matcha latte (soy. Tastes better + I'm lactose intolerant 😮‍💨) before and everything, thinking the little bit of caffeine would help
Only to damn near puke when I was running....
I could literally feel the shit sloshing around as I was going and I was like okay. I might gon head and do it so I can get out this shit early. But then I was sitting there like. Damn. Sweaty. Puke covered. And my mom works as I'm at school so I'd have to either hope that she come get me or the more likely option is they gon send me to the nurse, have me change back to my normal shit, then go back to it. Which was like ???? Nah what fuck that
I got a fucking 7 on my final bruh
😭😭😭
Dude came up to me like bro wth. You can do more. And the combo of me already being annoyed of him steady going out his way to point me out and me genuinely feeling like shit, I was just kinda bluntly like, I feel sick and I'm not chancing having to call my out of work for me to shower. He argued a bit I kinda just blinked and repeated myself lmao
Ig he felt bad or he was done with my bs but he last second made it a thing that you could continue walking laps around for partial credit. Which me and a few other people did. Which took my shit to like. I think a 50. Not amazing but no summer school so I was content. I had a high d+ but our school for whatever reason did not do the -/+ system at all for final grades. So whether you got a 90 or 100, you got a 4.0 A. Which was cool on one hand as you had a tooooon of wiggle room with grades but it was horribleeee when it came to cases like mine
Deadass was like... .2% from a 2.0. Which was like. Bruh. If I woulda got a 1.7, prolly still woulda asked for the extra .2 but at the end of the day it wouldn'tve been that big of a deal if they said no. BUT A WHOLE GRADE POINT AVERAGE LOWER? No.
So I asked. I didn't make it a big deal at first as I've never had to ask that sort of thing and I thought my argument was pretty sensible as is. And to my shock he ain't even say nothing back. Dude just did the shit and kept it moving. I'm sure he was tired of my bum ass steady working his nerves but I was not complaining. Wrote him a whole thank you email and kept it moving B)
Mb bruh massive tangent I never get to talk about that stuff anymore and it was like I was reliving it all in my head for a second 😭
1 note · View note
nashibirne · 3 years
Note
Congrats on your milestone!! Love your writing and since you're doing the whole "milestone party" I would like to ask if you could write something about reader and first baby. It could be something like them being very happy in the beginning, anxious by the end of the pregnancy but in the first weeks after the baby is born everything being caotic, the reader is stressed and sometimes they fight for something silly and it could have a happy ending, maybe he preparing a special surprise for her, some smut and they kinda "reconnect"... I don't mind if it gets too big, I would appreciate if you like the idea, It can be sy or walter, their POV, the reader can have a name too if you'd like. Thank you so much and congratulations again 🎉🥳
Here comes the second fic for my milestone celebration 🥳
Dear nonie, thank you so much for your prompt 💜 I love it and it made me think of Walter and his bumblebee from my fic Closer immediately. So I hope you don't mind I made this a follow up.
I tried to include all your wishes and I hope you like the struggles, the fluff and the smut.
🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲
MAYBUG
Tumblr media
Pairing: Walter Marshall x reader
Summary: Walt and his wife are stressed out and enjoy a little escape. Follow-up to Closer
Words: ~ 1.8 k
Warnings: Smut, NSFW, 18+, Sex (p in v), fingering, dirty talking, kinda light breeding kink, masturbation, mentioning of sex toys and voyeurism, mentioning of problematic birth
UNBETA'ED! English is not my mother tongue, so expect bad grammar, wrong spelling, chaotic punctuation and clumsy language. All mistakes are mine…
Credits: pics for the header from pinterest.
I don't own Walter Marshall (unfortunately)
If you like this story, check out my masterlist!
***********
I'm sure it wasn't so stressful with Faye when she was a baby. She was a whirlwind, challenging her mum and me 24/7 as soon as she was able to walk but I'm pretty sure in the first year she was a little angel, not doing much more than sleeping, eating and lulling us into a false sense of security, making us think the peace would last forever.
Maybe it's gonna be the other way round with our little maybug. A chaotic first year and all the peace afterwards.
We've been on an emotional rollercoaster ride for almost two years now. Y/n stopped taking the pill shortly after our engagement and a few months before our wedding. I couldn't wait to get her pregnant, our sex life was great at that time, we did it as often as possible, having the time of our lives, enjoying each other and our deep connection. When my little bumblebee finally surprised me with a positive pregnancy test after 8 months of very intense trying, we were both beyond happy and completely over the moon and besides the usual pregnancy-related worries and difficulties everything went well.
That was until y/n went into labor and suddenly everything turned out to be very different from what we both had wished for. There was no calm atmosphere, no peaceful water birth but a lot of stress and anxiety instead when unexpected complications occured. I wasn't solid as a rock for her, I was a nervous wreck and very disappointed in myself but my wonderful wife was incredibly tough, fighting to be strong for both of us with fierce determination. She was no bumblebee that night, she was a hornet. In the end she had an emergency c-section and our little boy was born after almost 24 hours of labour on a mild Saturday night in May. When we finally held this perfect, beautiful little bundle of life in our arms all pain and fear was forgotten and we cried together for joy and gratefulness.
Now, six months later, we're still very happy, enjoying our family life and our time together. I've stepped back from work a little, doing office work mostly, staying away from the time consuming major cases. It's hard sometimes to be condemned to just watch my colleagues working in the front-line but I know it's worth it. I don't want to make the same mistakes again, the mistakes that ruined my first marriage and jeopardized my relationship with Faye. Besides that y/n needs my support, although she would never admit it. Our little maybug suffers from colic and cries a lot so she's constantly sleep-deprived and on top of that she tortures herself with self-reproach because breastfeeding didn't work and our baby son only gets formula, which -in her eyes- is the reason for his regular pain. She's constantly stressed out, tense and oversensitive and we fight over the most silly things.
When she had a nervous breakdown the other day because she hadn't managed to cook dinner for me after another night without sleep and a whole day of trying to calm down a crying baby in pain, I decided it was enough, that she needed a break, I needed a break and maybe even our little muffin needed a break from his worn out parents. So after y/n had a good cry on my shoulder, listening to my comforting words that made her relax a little, I made her her favorite sandwich, sent her to bed after she'd enjoyed it and took our little boy on a ride. He likes it when we drive around in my truck, the sonorous sound of the engine has a soothing effect on him and eventually he stopped crying and fell asleep, just as exhausted as his mom. I got myself a burger from the drive-through, ate it in the parking lot and I came up with an idea for a little treat for me and my wife.
And now here we are, sitting in the huge tub in the bathroom of a luxurious hotel suite in our hometown, just 20 minutes away from our little boy who's staying with y/n's sister for the weekend. It wasn't easy to convince my wife that he's going to survive one night without us and that we really need some time for us but now, after a romantic candle light dinner and a special treatment afterwards she really seems to enjoy our little escape.
"God, Walt...you were right, I needed this. The food was delicious and your massage worked wonders. Thank you so much, papa bear."
She's sitting in front of me in the steaming hot water that smells like tropical flowers, her body covered with lush foam, her back resting against my chest, her butt between my spread legs, pressing against my cock.
"Well, it wasn't a Tantra massage but I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway." I press a kiss on her hair and hug her from behind. "I enjoyed it too, by the way. My hands all over your wonderful backside, that was very sexy," I whisper in her ear before I start to caress her breasts while kissing her neck. Damn, I love her tits, even more now after the pregnancy. They are so soft, so welcoming and warm, plus they are bigger than before, perfect for burying my face in them or for a filthy boob fuck.
Y/n moans softly under my touch and I go on, determined to make this date night unforgettable. After a while I let one of my hands glide over her belly, that wonderful part of her body that has carried our child and that is so smooth beneath my rough palm. I feel the stretch marks she hates so much but I kinda love them. They're like a map that shows what she's been through and what the female body is capable of. For her it's a flaw, when I look at it I see nothing but strength. With that thought I slip my hand between her legs, stroking her pussy, my fingers gliding through her swollen folds, provoking one of these drawn, hoarse moans that always escape her mouth when she likes what I'm doing and that turn me on so much. She cranes her neck to look at me and I bent my head to kiss her. The kiss is slow and sensual, tasting sweet and promising. I moan into her mouth, one hand on her tit, kneading it intensely, giving her erect nipple some extra attention with my thumb, one hand on her pussy. I keep on stroking her clit while we make out and she moves her hips, rolling them slowly against my rock-hard cock.
"You like that, baby?" I want to know, panting into her ear.
"I like it a lot…", y/n sighs, bucking her hips. I know exactly what she wants.
"How about that?" I stretch my arm, shifting my position a little to penetrate her slowly with two fingers, brushing them against her g-spot with light pressure.
"Fuck...Walt…"
Her moans are getting louder with each thrust into her cunt, her hips moving rhythmically. I stimulate her clit with my thumb and I can tell she's close, putty in my hands, a whimpering, panting mess and I love it.
"Mommy's still my little whore, right?" I ask, my voice rough and thick with arousal and desire, my dick throbbing, pressed against her ass. "Look at you, riding my fingers like the good girl you are. I love how that feels…"
I fingerfuck her harder and it doesn't take her long to cum with a loud moan, my name on her lips on top of her orgasm. She rides it out slowly, breathing heavily and I give her some time to recover before I grab her by her waist, lift her up and make her sit down on my cock. I can't wait another second, I need to feel her from the inside, her tight pussy stretching around my thick dick. She sighs when she easily sinks down on it, starting to ride me immediately, eagerly, greedy. She's still hungry, ready for more, giving me a hard time to pull myself together. I'd love to just rail her, to thrust into her cunt mercilessly to reach my own high but what I want even more is to see her come undone again, to make her fall apart on my dick, milking it when she cums again. So I hold her hips in a vice-like grip, pressing her down and she stops moving, waiting for me to take over. I let go of her hips and fuck her slowly, thrusting into her from underneath, caressing her tits, showering her shoulders with sloppy kisses.
She follows the rhythm and the pace I set and we both moan in unison. She reaches between her legs and starts touching herself which turns me on even further. I love watching her when she pleasures herself. She was a little hesitant about in the beginning of our relationship but when I even bought her some toys, she believed me that it was okay to masturbate in my presence, that it drove me absolutely wild to watch her, that I would fuck her like a predator after seeing her cum just by the touch of her own hands, using the toys I had chosen and allowed her to use. Today is no exception. Her soft moans and appreciative sighs are music to my ears and as soon as I fix my eyes on her fingers that circle her clit, while she strokes the shaft of my pounding cock with her other hand, I lose my shit.
I press her against my body and fuck her so hard and fast that the water spills all over the edge of the tub. She comes again shortly after I orgasm with a noise that's half grunt and half growl, arising deep from within my chest. My balls tighten and when I feel my cum shooting through my dick her pussy clenches around me and her body is trembling on top of mine. She cries out loud when I fill her up with my seed and I'm sure she knows that I imagine breeding her, when I keep on thrusting lightly, not pulling out even after we've both come down from our highs and my hard-on softens.
I know we still have to wait a few months till she gets pregnant again because her body needs time to heal but I guess it doesn't hurt to practice as often as we feel like it and to dream of adding another little bug to our family.
🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲🪲
Taglist (let me know if you want to be added or removed)
@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @artandotherdelights @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @liliumdream @enchantedbytomandhenry @greensleeves888 @witcherfan @margauxmargaux07 @radaofrivia @m07belzen @a-little-counter-esperanto @starstruckkittyangel @mary-ann84 @sillyrabbit81 @emelinelovesjc @wheretheriversrunintothesea @lam0ureuxq @kingliam2019 @pandaxnienke @littleone65 @coloraturadiva
202 notes · View notes
one-sad-human · 3 years
Text
•Worth It• Duff Mckagan
Pairing: Velvet Revolver era! Duff Mckagan x Younger! Reader
Requested? Nope!
Theme: Little bit of everything/???
Warnings: Language, panic attacks, anxiety references, drug references
Word Count: 3k
A/N: Fic 2 of 2! This is the longest fic yet! Took a different approach to writing this one, hopefully it payed off. Let me know if you guys liked it or if I wasted my time with this one lol.
Tumblr media
     You had met Duff in a coffee shop in LA. It was crowded and you were lucky enough to snag a chair before the lunch rush. Duff wasn't, and asked you if he could sit at your table.
     You grew up with Guns n Roses, bought his solo album the day it came out when you were just 15, and now listened to Velvet Revolver faithfully. To see your idol, your celebrity crush stand right in front of you holding a cup of coffee and a scone sent you for a loop.
     "Of course," you had said, starry eyed. You were only hoping he was as kind as the interviews made him out to be. Maybe have a conversation with you and be polite for a while before leaving and never seeing each you again. That would be good enough.
     It didn't end with a coffee, it had just begun. He asked for your number, and you stared at him for a moment thinking you had imagined it. That was until he tilted his head a little and looked at you with a nervous expression. He backtracked and you immediately stopped him.
     "No! I mean— yes! Yes, you can absolutely have my number." You scrambled for a pen and paper and ended up scratching your number on a receipt from the record store. You shook so hard you could barely get the numbers down.
     Out of all the record store receipts you've stuffed into your bag, the one you gave Duff Mckagan had to be the one for when you bought Velvet Revolver's 'Contraband.' He didn't say anything, just smiled and promised to call.
     You honestly didn't think he would've. You played it off as just him trying to be nice. It didn't stop you from answering every call you got for the next three days, however, even if you recognized the number as the tax collector you'd normally never answer.
     But then he called.
     "I tried calling sooner, but I kept calling the wrong number. You don't have the most eligible handwriting," he had told you. You laughed but really, you were in shock.
     You set up a date at the fancy restaurant downtown that always intimidated you. You didn't say anything though, even though you knew you wouldn't want any of the overpriced food and you'd end up eating something you couldn't pronounce and was two portions too small. Maybe even hit up a fast food joint afterwards.
     When the day finally came, you couldn't even figure out what to wear. You couldn't tell if you looked underdressed or like you were trying too hard. Did the clothes even fit the right way? What would Duff think? Would he even care?
     All questions were answered when you left your house. Duff was leaning against his slick car parked in your driveway, a button up that was barely buttoned and dress pants with boots. He stared at you and you wanted a hole in the ground to shallow you up until he smiles.
     "You look gorgeous," he said. You blushed and grinned, thanking him before saying that he looked great too. He drove you to the restaurant and on the way, you talked about music.
     You shared some of your favorites, he adored how well rounded you were. You liked pretty much everything from punk rock to the mellowest of mellow. Duff mentioned some of his favorites, some you made sure to remember the names of so you can check them out.
     When the ride was over and you finally got to the restaurant, your previous fears came back. Duff reassured you looked better than 90% of the people there and you knew it wasn't true but it made you feel better anyway.
     Your eyes widened to the size of saucers when you saw the prices of the food. You knew it'd be pricey but you thought there'd be more options that stayed within two digit numbers.
     Duff saw your panicked expression and said not to worry, he'd pay. It didn't settle your nerves enough and when the waiter came, you ordered the cheapest and simplest thing you could find.
     "Chicken noodle soup?" He teased. You shyly looked down and shrugged. "This isn't your scene, is it?"
     "Not exactly, no."
     "Want me to be completely honest with you?" You nodded. "It's not mine either."
     That's all it took for you and Duff to scramble sheepishly out of the restaurant. You both shared a laugh in the car and went to Burger King. It was much more your speed and, as you'd find out that night, Duff's too. You suppose all the money he's had since such a young age didn't completely change his ways. He was like a kid trapped in a 40 year old man's body.
     You'd thought at first the age gap would feel strange, after all, you were 15 years younger than him. But after that night, it was barely noticeable. Funny looks from strangers every once in a while was nothing.
     By the second date, Duff was already aware fancy spots weren't your forte. He told you it was a surprise and to wear something cozy, as LA nights got chilly.
     He packed a picnic basket and drove you out to the most beautiful flower field you had ever seen at sunset. It was secluded and high up, giving a perfect view of the city skyline. After gawking and taking in the sights for a few moments, you regained your ability to speak.
     "It's gorgeous. Pretty far from the city, did you take me here to kill me?" You joked. He laughed and rolled his eyes. His lighthearted laugh sent sparks straight to your heart, and you decided that it was your favorite sound.
     You unfolded the blanket Duff brought and you both sat down. You ate the sandwiches and sliced fruit Duff packed and talked. You talked about everything, from your family to fears and insecurities.
You told him how you suffer from nightmares. Flashbacks from your broken childhood coming back to bite you in your sleep. Duff shared how he's suffered from panic attacks since he was a teenager. You felt you knew each other for years.
Neither of you felt weird for sharing and neither made the other insecure. You were completely open and honest with each other. It was strange, you've never connected to quickly and effortlessly with someone before. Sure, you've had men in your life, but never had you clicked with someone so fast, never had you fit with someone so perfectly.
Hours passed and it felt like minutes. Only did you realize how late and how exhausted you were when you saw most of the city buildings light have gone off for the night. The city that didn't sleep was dark.
"I should get you home," Duff said to you.
"Will you stay the night?" You felt a little silly for asking. Were things going too fast? Would he even want to stay over?
He agreed, and that's how your first night together went. You both stayed up even later and had more lighthearted conversations, unlike the ones that partook at the field. Like how one of Duff's first jobs was at a bakery and could bake a mean cake and how you can't cook to save your life.
You ended up waking up without remembering falling asleep. You're head was placed comfortably on Duff's lap while his head was lolled back against the couch cushion. He looked so serene and peaceful you couldn't help but smile at the sight.
You made toast and somewhat successfully cooked some eggs and bacon. It might have been the first breakfast in years that didn't end with the smoke alarm going off.
Duff eventually wandered into the kitchen and you both ate. By the time he left, another date was already set up. He was like a drug an you were already hooked.
Months later and the addiction still wasn't kicked. You didn't want to, and Duff didn't seem to want you to quit either. You both soaked each other up like the sun on a warm day.
You had almost weekly dates and you stayed over each other's houses almost every other day. Duff did have his kids some days, though, so some days dates were cut short or Grace and Mae slept over his house and you wouldn't see each other.
You were always understanding, his kids came first and you'd never blame or get upset about it. It's something Duff admires about you, your never ending understanding and empathy for him.
One of those days where Duff stayed over at your house started normal. He cooked dinner and you washed the dishes, and then you put on an old Ramones concert you had on DVD.
You were laying on his chest, his fingers running through your hair when all of a sudden, he tensed up. He quickly stood and excused himself to the bathroom. You frowned but before you could think much of it, you heard a loud bang and something clatter to the ground.
You jumped up and rushed to the bathroom. You swung open the door because you were perfectly aware the lock hasn't worked since you moved in.
Duff was sitting on the floor, a pill bottle laying on its side not far from him. You quickly spot the name of the medication and identified it as your anti-anxiety pills. You shoved them aside and sat next to Duff.
He was sweating bullets and his skin felt cold and clammy, his breaths were labored and heartbeat was loud and pounding erratically. You coax him gently to take deep breaths, holding onto his hand tightly and talking quietly.
"I'm sorry, they come on randomly sometimes," he apologized after he'd called down, but you quickly shushed him. You reminded him of just how many nightmares he'd comforted you for and he stops feeling so bad about it.
     It was always a true partnership with Duff. Never had you felt you gave or took too much, it was always equal. Always a two way street, with everything.
That wasn't the last panic attack you had to help him come down from. Later down the line you've gotten better at calming him down and learning his triggers, even though sometimes they really do come on suddenly without reason.
A year into the relationship was when you met Grace and Mae. They were young and didn't completely understand why their parents weren't together anymore, so it took them a while to warm up to you. Luckily, they eventually came around.
Duff and Susan met up regularly to discuss their kids and co-parent properly. And while you had all the reason to be jealous of your boyfriend with his ex wife, you never did. You had complete confidence in him, he was honest and loyal and you doubted he'd ever hurt you purposely.
That's why it destroyed you when he left you. Tears were shed from both parties as he gave his reasons for breaking up with you. His insecurities he tried his best to bury had come to light and nothing could change his mind.
You thought you were completely honest with each other, but you suppose his doubt in his relationship with you was the one thing he kept secret. He had somehow convinced himself you'd be better without him, between the constant touring and the baggage that came with him and his kids, he finally buckled under the weight and stress.
You had tried to convince him that he was worth it, but if Duff is one thing it's stubborn. The best relationship you'd ever have and the best year of your life went down the drain within the matter of one conversation.
You were down in the dumps for days. You barely left your bed and didn't ever leave your house. You were in a depression and couldn't get out. A few of your friends eventually found out what had happened and broke into your house and shoved you into the shower before taking you to your favorite Chinese restaurant.
You felt like a disaster. Your hair was ratted despite the shower and you refused to put real clothes on, instead wearing sweatpants and a shirt Duff had left behind. You were a mess.
The hole in the wall restaurant was never busy but always had the best food. You were almost happy your friends dragged you out of your home until you saw Duff sitting at a table, eating egg rolls and lo mein.
You've came here together all the time. The high sodium in the food always made him sick to his stomach and you'd always end up giving him nausea remedies and tea. He never changed his order though.
You locked eyes with him for a while. Dark bags were under his eyes and he looked more pale than usual. He looked as terrible as you felt. You weren't sure if you were spitefully glad he felt awful or if the despair on his face just made your heart break further.
When you couldn't take his intense jade stare anymore, you looked up at the menu. The next time you looked back he was gone, you weren't sure if he was really there at all or if you were finally losing your mind for good.
     Another week crawled by. You got better enough to continue working. You had to pick up extra time for calling out for a few days after the breakup. You wouldn't say things were going well, but you weren't crying in bed every day all day anymore.
     You had constant dreams about him. Some were nice, ones where he didn't leave and you were together, holding each other tightly. Most were nightmares, flashbacks of when he left. You didn't have him to comfort you anymore when you woke up soaked in sweat and tears, and that might've been the worst.
     Another week went by, and you were starting to get back into the swing of things. You still thought about him, even silly little things reminded you of him. Like when you would catch a sniff of freshly baked sweets like he'd bake you or certain songs playing on the radio. It also didn't help that you ran into people wearing Guns n Roses shirts on the daily.
     You also refused to get rid of anything he'd left behind. Tee shirts, guitar picks he left from when he'd play for you, or CDs from bands he introduced you to. Reminders of what you lost were scattered around your home but you couldn't bring yourself to do anything about it.
     Suddenly, it's been a month. You weren't over him, but you had a feeling you'd never be completely. He was something special, you can't forget things as special as your relationship with Duff.
     His items still weren't thrown out or returned, instead all packed in a box sitting in your closet. But you'd be lying if you said you would never reach into the box to grab a shirt to sleep in or a CD to listen to when you needed a reminder of the good times. You were making progress though.
     You decided to leave your house one evening. You were feeling especially terrible and wanted to take a walk to clear your head. You went to the coffee shop you had first met Duff in. Maybe it was a mistake to go and get a flood of memories but you couldn't stop yourself.
     You sat in a seat near the window and people watched, taking occasional sips of your drink. It was quiet except from the talk of the workers and the hum of the overhead speakers.
     There was a sudden squeak of a chair of hardwood floors and it broke you out of your daze. You snapped your gaze up to meet the very familiar green eyes you've been trying to forget.
     "Can we talk?" He asked, and you couldn't say 'no.' Duff sat across from you and started off by apologizing.
     He said he wanted to talk to you sooner, but was too afraid you wouldn't want anything to do with him. You rolled your eyes at that, if only he knew just how much you missed him.
     He then started from the beginning and explained why he made the decision to leave you. As it turns out, it was mostly because of stress. His bandmate Scott was having problems with drugs and the flashbacks from his GnR days frightened him. He was worried he would end up relapsing and he didn't want to drag you down with him.
     Combine that with all the troubles that came with dating a single father, and he couldn't take it anymore. He felt too guilty.
     It all seemed like ridiculous reasons to you. Even if he had made the mistake of falling off the wagon, you still would've stuck with him. And you didn't mind his kids at all, after nearly a year of knowing them and you were very close to them.
     "I love you, Duff. I wouldn't have left you over that, I'd help you through anything. And I love Grace and Mae, too," you told him.
     "I know, but I didn't want you to have to deal with all that baggage." You frowned at that. You reached your hand across the table and grasped his, squeezing it tenderly.
     "You're worth it."
     After that day, you and Duff started seeing each other again. It wasn't the same as before, but maybe even better.
     You were more transparent with each other. If one had a worry or problem, you'd go to the other. You talked everything through with him and he did the same. Even if it seemed insignificant, talking everything through never failed to make it better.
    You were happier and healthier than ever before. Sure, there were a roadblock or two, but they only made the relationship even stronger, and you wouldn't have changed a thing about it.
209 notes · View notes
ichor-and-symbiosis · 4 years
Text
Obedient. (Shigaraki x f!Reader; NSFW)
Tumblr media
Commission for @kazooli​.
Shigaraki knows you are upset. Not that he needs to use his intuitive perceptiveness to notice your downtrodden mood -- you are, and always will be, an open book of emotions. 
You try to be on your best behavior. You always try. Nobody needs to see their teammate moping around the decrepit hideout when everyone has their own problems to deal with. It could always be worse, you tell yourself. And you need to stay strong for your leader. 
But he knows. Finds you pouting on the ripped up sofa, even though you are the one who should come to him when called. You look up at him with your doe-eyed, downtrodden expression, and Shigaraki’s expressionless eyes sweep over you before walking past. Your gaze lingers on his broad back, wishing you could reach out and grasp the fabric of his coat just to keep him around a little longer. 
He pauses in front of the door. “Come with me,” he commands, and you are on your feet before you even think to ask why or where you are going.
-
The exhilaration of walking by your leader’s side through winding streets is enough to keep your mouth shut. Better to be quiet for now, anyway. Better to move like a shadow, like Shigaraki’s shadow. It must be a mission. You keep your eyes and ears sharp and primed, ready to take on the next challenge. 
Until Dabi’s words ring through your mind and you feel yourself deflating all over again.
Shigaraki pays no attention to you. He leads and leads, guides you towards a destination only he knows, and you are grateful for the chance to simply follow. You try not to question him when he stops at a food stall. Two orders of takoyaki, spoken with a quiet, serious request. Your stomach grumbles and you grip it in embarrassment. When was the last time you ate?
The worker holds out your meal. Shigaraki looks at you expectantly, and you realize he wants you to take it. And you do, rushed and mousy as you thank the worker, and then you spend the next minute mentally berating yourself for saying thank you at all. You are a villain. Why would you thank a random nobody? You should be thanking your leader instead. And you do.
He offers a grunt and keeps walking. Your heart flutters at the sound. 
You end your journey on a rooftop. The building is not familiar to you, and you doubt Shigaraki knows it either. A random building with a roof that smells like asphalt and cigarettes. You take a deep breath as the wind wafts the takoyaki steam toward you, and your stomach growls demandingly. 
You wedge yourselves into a narrow space, hidden from surveillance or anyone who may come onto the roof. Your only view is that of Shigaraki sitting across from you and you are perfectly okay with that. Very okay with that, in fact, especially since his legs are forced to bend and rest on either side of you. Your only choice is to sit cross-legged for his comfort, and you try your very best to avoid staring at his crotch.
It’s right there in front of you. He just brazenly has his legs spread out and brushing along your knees and you shove the takoyaki into your drooling mouth to keep yourself occupied. All you would need to do is bend forward, and it wouldn’t be the takoyaki in your mouth anymore. It would be something else entirely, something musky and warm and solid, and you squirm in your spot as heat pools below your belly. 
Shigaraki silently eats the first stick of takoyaki and sets the box aside. You pause your eating and wait, because he has that pensive look in his eyes right now. His arms are limp and resting on his knees, and you allow yourself to admire his beautiful hands. Beautiful to you, long and slender fingers, blue veins peeking through pale skin, oh how desperately you want him to touch you - 
“So.” The word hangs in the air between you. You stare at him, obediently waiting for him to continue. He doesn’t look at you. “What happened.” 
“U-um … “ You wrack your brain as your anxiety builds. Did you do something wrong? Were his plans compromised? “I’m sorry, I don’t - “ 
“You’ve been looking like a kicked dog all day.” 
“Oh.” You muster up a weak smile. “It’s nothing serious. Maybe I was just hungry, or … you know. Present circumstances and all that.” 
“Don’t lie to me.” 
Perceptive. You don’t want to burden him. It really was such a silly disagreement with Dabi. “Really, it’s - “
He says your name. You look at him, transfixed by his solemn stare. His eyes are sharp, commanding. “Tell me.” 
And you do. Nothing at first, trapped in your throat, and then all at once.
“Dabi is just such an asshole,” you blurt out, and Shigaraki’s snort encourages you to word vomit. “He took me with him on a scouting mission and things didn’t go as planned and he kept blaming me! He said it was my fault and that - and that I’m … useless.” Your head hangs in shame as you stare hard into your lap. “He said I’m useless and that the League doesn’t need me. So I’ve been thinking all day about that. If I wasn’t useful to society and I’m not useful to the League, then ... “ You don’t know where your trail of thought was going. “I don’t want to feel useless,” you whisper. “I don’t want to hold anyone back. I don’t want to waste your time like - like right now.” 
Shigaraki waits for you to finish. He looks a little surprised. “That’s a lot.”
Your mouth gapes like a fish before you shut it tight and dig your nails into your thighs, hoping the pain would counteract your burning embarrassment threatening to swallow you whole. “Sorry. I talk a lot.” 
He eyes you with a calculated expression while you silently flounder in your awkwardness. “Come here,” he suddenly says, and your confusion makes him grow impatient. “Turn around. Back to my front.” He motions to the space between his legs. “Right here, puppy girl.” 
You nearly choke on your gasp.
Your body moves mechanically, too stunned by shock to make your body look anything other than enticing. You sit as he directed, back to his front, and wrap your arms around your knees as you try to calm your breathing. A gap remains between you, because there is no way Shigaraki would want you pressed up against him, except he does and you let out a startled squeak when he places his arms beneath your thighs, spreads your legs over his, and makes you lean back onto him. 
“What are you doing?” you breathe out, heart stammering in your chest as you soak up his body heat and pray to god that this moment will never end. 
“Testing out your obedience,” he off-handedly comments, and your clothed cunt immediately becomes flooded from the vibrations of his voice, the low rumble so close to your ear. His hands move to grip your forearms, and you jolt at the contact, all wired up with frayed nerves and anticipation. “I want to know what makes you think I’m wasting my time here.” 
“W-we’re talking about me.” 
“Yeah. And you know what I learned?” His mouth is close to your ear now. You shiver at the feeling of his breath tickling your skin. “I learned that you’re not at the top of your game right now. You’re drowning - “ He taps a finger to your temple. “ - from all of these fuzzy little thoughts in your head. And I can’t have an obedient puppy girl if she’s thinking too much.” 
“I - “ 
“Quiet.” One hand cups your throat, middle finger poised over your pulse. The hold is firm and encompassing around your neck. It makes you tremble with desire. “We have to get rid of those thoughts, don’t we?” His other hand brazenly cups your mound, and you let out the most pathetic sound of your life. “There’s a lot of ways to release pent up feelings,” he continues conversationally, fingers delving past the waistband of your bottoms. “I’m feeling charitable enough to help you out.” 
Your endless stream of thoughts fizzle out as soon as he finds your swollen clit. “Thank you,” you sob, gripping his arm and gyrating your hips for more of his touch. “Thank you, thank you, thank you - “ 
The hand at your throat moves up to cover your mouth. “Shhh.” Fingertip moves lower, runs itself through the slickness oozing out of your tight heat. “Relax.” You whimper brokenly, slump back against him as he rubs your clit in feather-light strokes. His hand moves from your mouth and rests on your temple, fingers buried in your hair. “This is what you’re good for.”
Shigaraki is not an expert by any means. Sometimes he loses his momentum, rubs too hard or too slowly, doesn’t really know how to set a proper pace. But you have never felt more wet before. Never has your heart raced this quickly, never has a simple touch driven you to mindless pleasure. 
He plunges inside you unexpectedly, shushing you once more as you let out a wordless cry, and even through the pain of being stretched far too soon, you feel your pussy loosen to accommodate your beloved leader’s thick fingers. He works you open good and proper, thorough in his thrusting, forcing you to take him down to the last knuckle. You lie there and take it, moaning and writhing in his lap as he fucks your sloppy cunt. 
“Just let it all out,” he murmurs in your ear. “It’s not good to keep the bad shit locked away inside. Or else one day … “ His fingers ease out of your pussy and leave a trail of juices clinging to his fingertips. You try your best not to whine as he brings his fingers up for inspection. “ … It’s all gonna come pouring out.” 
You don’t know what he is trying to do. You don’t know what he wants from you when his fingers tap against your bottom lip, but your mouth falls open all the same to let him smear your juices onto your tongue. A pathetic, desperate whimper escapes as you taste yourself on his fingers. And you taste him. Your leader’s fingers are buried in your warm mouth and your stretched cunt contracts from dizzy exhilaration. 
Your tongue licks away the evidence of your arousal, and for one delirious moment you think you hear Shigaraki hum in approval. He pops the digits out of your mouth and you begin to ramble before you can stop yourself. “Y-you don’t … have to do this,” you shyly stutter, cheeks burning from shame as his hand drops back between your trembling thighs. “I was being dumb, I’ll get over it, you d-don’t have to worry about me like this - “ 
You break off into a choked gasp as he traps your clit between two fingers and slowly runs them up and down. 
“It’s fine,” he murmurs, lets your head fall back onto his shoulder. “A leader takes care of his subordinates.” 
A burst of emotions burns your chest at the statement. How could something sound so detached yet intimate? You wonder what this means to him. You wonder if he’s done this for anyone else. The very thought of it makes tears well up behind your closed eyelids, but you do not let them fall. This is your special moment with your leader. Here and now, he chose to take care of you. You focus on those words instead, focus on how full they make you feel, just as his fingertip rubs your soaked entrance and slips back inside with ease. 
“Just trust me,” he murmurs. “I’m gonna train this greedy puppycunt to only think about me.”
Shigaraki keeps talking. He is so, so chatty, and it is hard to focus on his monologuing through the sound of your wet pussy being played with so thoroughly and invasively. You bury your face in his neck to stifle the whiny demands on the tip of your tongue, ignoring your monumental need for him to stop talking and just kiss you. It’s a selfish thought. Your leader is speaking to you. You should listen, you should let him take care of you, you have to trust him, you have to chase the high and let go, just as he always does on the battlefield. 
“You’re doing so well for me.” 
A heavy pit of pleasure builds deep within. 
“Always so obedient.” 
The thumb buried in your hair strokes slowly. 
“My favorite puppy.”
Your pussy clenches, fighting to suck him in and keep him inside. 
“Mine.” 
You come with a shrill keen, trembling and shaking through your orgasm as Shigaraki’s fingers pump in and out, squelching and sloshing your juices as loudly as he can. Your mind is adrift, completely gone. All you can do is lay limp in his arms and breathe heavily, letting him settle your underwear back over your messy cunt. 
There is silence for a moment. Only the sound of your breathing. His hand settles over the top of your head properly this time, ruffling your hair in a movement that might have been accidental if not for the fact that Shigaraki never makes mistakes. “I like you like this,” he says. “No thoughts or worries. Just a properly trained cunt and an obedient subordinate.” You smile a little at that. If only he knew how badly you wanted to be used by him. “I decide who’s useful to me, not Dabi. You’re around for a reason, got it?” 
Your heart aches with happiness. “Yes sir. I’m yours.” 
1K notes · View notes
blessednereid · 3 years
Text
Pity the Living
Daniel Sharman x Reader Series
A/N: The Much Requested, and By Requested, I mean @rogershoe wanted me to write this, MY DANIEL SHARMAN FANFICTION!!!!!! The character that Y/N plays is based on my OC for FTWD and is not an actual character in FTWD. Basic Premise of the setting for this chapter is that they're in high-school/ secondary school. But for the majority of the story(minus flashbacks) it's set in 2016/17 when s3 of FTWD was filmed.
Story Summary: When (Y/N) (L/N) reunites with a high-school friend on the set of the job she's been working on for the past 2-3 years, not only is she excited to work with the guy who inspired her to go into acting, but to hear about what he's done since she's seen him. But the more they talk, the more she realizes, this reunion is not going the way she had planned.
CW: Cursing? brief mention of alcohol, anxiety, mentions of food, fake dagger, fake blood, bets,
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Career Day
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
Most of the students around you were chorusing to the tune of your school anthem, but not you. You had heard the melody and sung it almost a million times. Whether you were exaggerating or not, not even you knew. Instead, you were whispering and laughing with one of your best friends, Daniel Sharman.
You met Daniel when you first came to the school. You didn't know many people. You didn't even know yourself in this place. It was a completely foreign experience, but he stuck by your side and showed you around.
Since then, you had made friends, joined the swim team, learned your way around the school without ending up in the boys' restrooms instead of the girls' ones. Despite not needing Daniel to show you around anymore, he still provided plenty of comedic support and pick-me-ups and was a great mate all around.
Your teacher had just finished introducing all the parents who were presenting at career day. The assignment being after the presentations were finished, you were supposed to think about what you wanted to be in the future. You had no idea what you wanted to be. But of course… Daniel did.
"An actor."
"An actor?" he nodded. "Like Macbeth?"
"No, Macbeth is a character. An actor is a person who plays the character."
"Why an actor?"
"Dunno. Just seems right."
You frowned. "Huh, that's nice. Knowing what you want to be."
"You could always try acting. It's worth a shot."
"Hah, if I ever tried acting, it would probably be when I'm old, senile, and look like Betty White."
"Oh, come on. You're a great actress!"
"What's that supposed to mean, Sharman?" you gasped.
"Just that you tell fibs and stories as if they were the truth. That's all acting is."
"I DO NOT!"
"How did you convince your mum that your dog jumped onto the table and ate the cake without making any noise last weekend, then?" You opened your mouth to speak before closing it.
"Cat got your tongue?" he teased.
"Shut up, Sharman."
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
L/N Residence
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
You and Daniel were both swimming in the pool in your backyard when Daniel asked you the question.
"Did you think about it?"
Still floating, you asked, "About what?"
"Acting."
You laughed incredulously. "You were serious?"
"Of course I was." He swam closer to you and pulled your leg down, making you flop around and splash water.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
"Was just trying to get your attention," he remarked innocently.
You coughed. "You had it."
"Picture this," he waved you off. "Us, on the red carpet-"
"Who's red carpet?"
"Does it matter? We'll be each other's dates anyways."
"Why is that?" you asked.
"Because we're best friends."
"What if one of us has a boyfriend or girlfriend?"
He shrugged. "Ok, whatever. We're on the red carpet separately. It's both of ours red carpet-"
"So, does that mean we're in a movie together?"
"Yes, Y/N," he muttered exasperatedly.
"But that's impossible?"
"Why do you say that?"
You leaned closer to his ear. "BECAUSE I'M NOT BECOMING AN ACTOR."
He jumped away from you, proceeding to splash you with water.
"Mark my words. I know talent when I see it."
You sighed. "Could this just be you not wanting to be lonely in the acting world?"
He jutted his lip and spoke in a whiny voice. "Maybe…"
You laughed before splashing a giant wave of water at him. While he still had water in his eyes, you dove under and pulled him down.
He flailed around before his head popped up, and he calmed down.
"WHAT THE HELL!"
"PAYBACK, SHARMAN!"
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Announcement
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
The intercom gave a heavy buzz, and static-y noises ran amok over the building before a voice actually came through the speakers.
"Hello, Teachers, Students, and Faculty. Welcome back to school. We hope that you all enjoyed your holidays and got the rest you needed to pay attention in class today," the last part was passive. Your principal gave more announcements for clubs and sports around the school, such as upcoming games or reminders for students to buy the school yearbook.
You were nodding along interested, or looking for interest really when something caught your best friend's attention.
"The school will also be hosting its first-ever play, Romeo and Juliet. Interested people should report to the music room before the end of the week to receive information."
You saw Daniel's eyes widen only moments before he spoke up. "Hey," he waved at you. "You should audition!"
"Daniel, are you insane?"
He chuckled, "No, but I think you'd like it."
You tried arguing, but he wasn't taking no for an answer. "You're the one who said you didn't know what you wanted to do after you graduated. Doing this cannot hurt."
"Yeah, it can't hurt until I trip on my costumes and break my neck!"
"That rarely ever happens," he said exasperatedly. "Ok, how about this? You audition, and if you end up getting a role and actually doing the play, I'll give you fifty pounds."
You squinted. "Do you even have fifty pounds to give me?"
"Do you even have to ask," he feigned shock in the accusation? You gave a sour face before he truthfully answered. "Fine, I don't have it now. But I will by the time the play comes around."
"What do I get just for auditioning?"
"I'll convince my mum to make that cake you like."
"Fine."
"BUT!" he exclaimed. "You have to audition for Juliet."
"You're kidding?"
He laughed. "No, I'm not. You have to audition for Juliet."
"I hate you," you mumbled before sighing a whispered 'fine.'
He gave a toothy smile. "Then we have a deal."
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Auditions
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
You reluctantly walked onto the stage, Daniel's widening grin so visible in the audience. He said that he only put his name on the audition sheet so he could watch the auditions. He would've already been gone by the time it was his turn.
"Hello, My name is Y/n L/n, and I am auditioning for Juliet," your lips pressing into a straight line after saying the sentence.
You stammered through your first few lines. "Sh-Shall I speak ill of him— that is my husband?" You said with a laugh.
"Ah," you paused and clicked your tongue. "Poor my lord, what tongue shall smooth thy name… When I, thy three-hours wife, have mangled it?"
You said your following line in an accusatory manner. "But wherefore, villain... didst thou kill my cousin?" you said, though your voice squealed trying to pronounce 'didst.' "That villain cousin would have killed my husband."
"Back, foolish tears, back to your native spring!" Your voice rose and fell several octaves. "Your tributary drops belong to woe, Which you, mistaking, offer up to joy." Fake tears spring to your eyes, your voice cracked, and you began slowly falling against an invisible wall.
You looked down at your paper for what to say next. "My husband lives, that Tybalt would have slain; And Tybalt's dead, that would have slain my husband. All this is comfort; wherefore weep I then?" You wiped your cheeks dramatically.
"Some word there was, worser than Tybalt's death, That murd'red me. I would forget it fain;" your lips quivered, and you sucked in deep, heaving breaths before speaking your line.
"But O, it presses to my memory. Like damnèd guilty deeds to sinners' minds! 'Tybalt is dead, and Romeo--banishèd!" You shouted.
You stood back up in a startling jump, and with a proud smile, you said triumphantly, "And Scene!"
The directors and some students in the audience, especially Daniel, gave a round of applause before the director dismissed you.
You took the steps to the stage and sat next to Daniel as the director called the next student to audition.
"You were amazing! The director might as well have given you the role right then and there."
You laughed, "Hang on, charmer. There were a bunch of Juliet's who literally said that entire thing so… fluently. I stammered through the whole thing."
"But you showed more emotion than anyone else. You only had a week to prepare. The actual show will be like child's play."
"They want people who can memorize and recite. The emotion can be added later, but it's worth nothing if they forget their lines."
"There is such a thing called improvising for a reason," he reassured.
"Who in their right, bloody minds wants to improvise Shakespeare?"
He turned his head and chuckled before waving a five-pound note in front of your face. "Here, I got to go before they call me, but you earned this at least."
"Five pounds for being forced to audition for a stupid play so you can prove a point? Wow, you must really fancy me, huh, Sharman?" you said sarcastically.
"Goodbye, L/n," he whispered before sneaking out the back door of the auditorium.
"Alright, next up. Daniel Sharman!" The director shouted your friend's name a few more times before giving up.
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Headmasters Office
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
A week after your audition, you were called to the headmasters' office. Thus is the cause of the curious looks from your classmates. Oohs and Aahs flooded your ears as you grabbed your bag and headed out the door to the front of the school.
When you got to the front of the building and went into the headmasters' office, you saw the Theatre director, Ms Parker, standing behind the desk. "Headmaster Leo allowed me to use his office to do this. Isn't that cool?"
Ms Parker was one of the younger teachers in school. She was twenty-four, and this was her first year teaching after receiving her bachelor's degree in education and a master's degree in music production. A fact she could astoundingly ramble about for fifteen minutes. As proven at the auditions.
"I didn't want to call you to the theatre room. That would be too predictable, correct?" You'd come to realize she was a very eccentric woman. "I have called you in here to inform you that you have been selected to perform in this year's play of Romeo and Juliet."
A wave of shock coursed through your body, and you were sure it reflected on your face. "Are you sure?"
"Darling, I'm positive!- your audition was totally spectacular! So brilliant-in fact- that I am completely sure in my choice to make you our female lead- Juliet!"
"What!" Your eyes widened into a blank stare. Your thoughts were running rampant in your mind. You thought that performing on the stage would be a breeze when you weren't the lead.
"Ms Parker, I didn't actually want the part of Juliet! It's just that my friend dared me to audition for Juliet! Is there no way I can get a smaller part? I'm no Juliet. The show would be ruined," you rambled.
The directors' facial expressions softened, "Darling, you are the only choice. None of the other people who auditioned can even compare to the amount of passion you produced in that audition. I am determined to have you as our Juliet."
You whimpered out an "Ok." Professors had a strange way of convincing you to do extra credit assignments or things that aren't necessary.
"We have a chemistry read for you and a few of our other choices for Romeo after school today. Do you need to contact a parent to let them know where you'll be?"
"Uh, yes, please."
After you made your call, you walked back to your classroom with shaky hands. The class period was almost over, but you had to tell Daniel that you had gotten a part in the show. Not just any part- THE PART!
You shuffled into the classroom reluctantly. All eyes were on you as every student had assumed you'd been in trouble. Either suspended, expelled, or told your parents were going to have a sit-down with the headmaster.
You took your seat next to Daniel before taking out a piece of paper and writing out a note, encompassing the words, "I got the part!"
You slid the sheet discreetly onto his desk. When he read it, his eyes widened, and he quietly moved his hands toward yours, beckoning for a high five.
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
First Rehearsal
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
After the chemistry read, the role of Romeo was given to a kid named James Mercer-Allen got the part. Though it was more because the directors were starting to become tired.
The next day was the first rehearsal. Swimming season was last semester, so there was no clash in schedules with the play.
"Alright, this rehearsal is to get acquainted with the stage, your fellow actors, and directors," she insisted. "Now, let's introduce ourselves. Can our Romeo please stand up?"
James stood up and gave a brief introduction. You were called on next. You stated your name, "I was on the swim team last semester, and I'm in my thirteenth year. I hope I can do this role justice."
More students stood up to introduce themselves. The entire process took more than thirty minutes.
The next thing to happen was that the rest of the students were called to recite lines for various roles. The only parts that had been cast preliminarily were Romeo and Juliet.
You and James had sat on the wooden stools unless there was a scene going on that needed Romeo and/or Juliet.
By the end of the first rehearsal, the majority of the speaking roles were cast. You went home exhausted but not expecting the conversation that waited for you.
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
The Talk
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
"We're moving?" you shouted at your parents from your seat across from them in the sitting room. "What do you mean we're moving."
"Honey, your dad got a job in the states, so we have to move," your mother argued.
"But what about school? No school will take me in the middle of the year, and it's my last year of secondary school. I don't want to spend the rest of my last year knowing nobody."
Your dad, the man of the hour, spoke up. "Dear, we're moving at the end of the year. After school ends."
"But- What about Uni?"
"You said you were taking a sabbatical year!"
"Yes, so I could intern in London!"
"Can't you intern in California?" Your mother whined.
"We're going to California? It's the furthest state?"
Your dad attempted to reassure you but failed. "Darling, it won't be that bad. Maybe you'll like it there more than you like it here!"
"I could never like anywhere more than I like it here!"
You agreed to go to your room and spent the rest of the day there. Later on, after you finished moping, you ringed up your closest friends to tell them you were moving. You did that until you were so tired you fell asleep on the phone with Sarah before you even called Daniel.
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Confrontation
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
"Why am I hearing from everyone besides you that you're moving?" Daniel appeared out of thin air behind you, and the accusation was an assault on your conscience.
You could lie and tell him that you wanted to reveal that to him in person, or you could just tell him the truth- say you fell asleep. Mix-and-Match? You ended up just telling the truth. "I fell asleep when I was making some of my other calls. I was going to tell you, I swear!"
"Why didn't you call me first. I'm your best friend?"
"That's why! It was too hard. I kept putting it off and putting it off and putting it off because I didn't want to tell you, I don't want it to be true, and telling you of all people would make it feel real."
"Why can't you stay for Uni?"
"I already told my parents I was taking a gap year. I didn't apply to any colleges."
"Crap!" he sighed. "Ok, well, we're going to have to make the most of it. And! You're getting a going away party!"
"Daniel, I don't need-"
"No debate! You are getting a going away party!"
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Opening Night
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
Four months later, after all the rehearsals and memorizations of lines. After much running around the entire film department, it was finally opening night, and your nerves were shot.
You were scrambling all morning to find everything you needed. All your costumes were at the school, but you still needed to bring your black leotard, skin-coloured tights, and wear your hair in an up-do style.
You decided to do your skincare routine, but your panic got the best of you, and you forgot what every single product was used for.
Daniel came over and helped you get ready but found you practically hyperventilating.
Your parents drove you both to the theatre, and when Ms Parker told you that Daniel couldn't be backstage, you promptly told her that he was your emotional support. After much arguing, she finally let him backstage.
Around an hour before showtime, the director told Daniel that he had to go wait in the audience if he already bought his ticket or that he had to go do it now.
Before he left, he gave you a pep-talk. "Hey, so one time, I was in this play, and the idea was that I was expelled, and there was a piece of paper I had to give my 'mother,' but I lost it. So we had to improvise, but I couldn't find the paper, and I felt horrible. So just know, even if you forget your lines, you must improvise, and remember, it still probably won't compare to the embarrassment I felt that day. So you can laugh at my humiliation. "
You chuckled, "I will. Ok, go before you get in trouble."
"Ok, me, our parents and all your friends will be in the front row. I've already reserved the entire row. I brought a whole bag of jackets just for that reason!"
"You can't do that," you said in between cackles.
"For you, I'll do anything," he grinned.
A few hours later and the show was almost done. "What's here? A cup, closed in my true love's hand? Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end," you wept.
"O, churl! Drunk all and left no friendly drop to help me after? I will kiss thy lips; Haply some poison yet doth hang on them, to die with thine restorative." You leaned over James and let your hair fall to the side of your head to cover your face. You pulled back without actually kissing James.
"Thy lips are warm."
A whispery voice came from offstage, "Which way?" The cue for you to take the poison, which was actually cranberry juice.
"Yea, noise? Then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!" You grabbed the dagger and brought it near your chest. "This is thy sheath;" you drew the fake knife back three inches from your chest and stabbed it to where the bag of more cranberry juice was and punctured the bag. 'Blood' soaked through your dress. "There rust, and let me die." You fell dramatically onto the altar and waited for the scene to end as the crowd cheered.
After the show, you dashed into the crowd where your friends and family waited for you. Ovations and Applauses were passed, lauded boxes of chocolates and gorgeous roses were given.
When you got to Daniel, he practically tackled you with a hug. "I actually thought you died for a split second. The blood looked so real."
"Daniel, most people don't bleed that fast, do they?"
"I don't know but fear kicked in, and I couldn't make sense of anything."
You grinned and almost went to your parents before Daniel grabbed your arm. "You don't have a date to the Leavers ball, do you?"
"No, I don't. Why?"
He sighed. "Well, I was thinking that you could go with me. I don't have a date either."
You squinted, thinking there was some ulterior motive behind his actions. "Ok, I'll go with you if you give me the money you owe me before then."
"It's right here," he smiled.
Your face scrunched up, but you reluctantly agreed. You only had a month of school left, and you might as well spend it having fun with your friends.
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
The Leavers Ball and the Getaway Party
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
You were dressed in a light blue, pleated, Mikado prom dress that cut off at mid-thigh. You had black wedges on your feet and a black pearl-beaded bracelet on your arm.
You were wearing a half-up, half-down style that framed your face and a silver necklace with a circle-shaped diamond.
You were sitting in the parlour when Daniel rang the doorbell. He was ten minutes late.
"Sorry," he said when your dad answered it. "I know I'm late. I was picking up Kat and James."
Kat and James were your and Daniel's respective friends who'd started last year after you and Daniel introduced them.
"Hi," you popped out of the shadows. "Alright, Mom, Dad, we're late, so we're just going to get goi-"
"Wait! I have to take pictures! Go get Kat and James."
"No, Mom. No pictures!"
"It's only right. I just want a few. We can take it outside."
You sighed but reluctantly caved into your mother's will.
The four of you took pictures outside of Daniel's Jeep Wrangler. You took ones with silly faces, just girls, just boys, and ones with all four of you before your parents allowed you to leave.
You were forty minutes late, and the ball was already in full swing by the time you got there.
You got on the dance floor immediately because one of your favourite songs was playing, but the DJ switched the song as soon as you found a decent spot. It was a slow song. You chuckled, and Daniel put his hands on your waist.
"Well, this is awkward."
A few minutes later, Daniel posed an interesting question.
"Did you know that I had a crush on you when you first came to school?"
"Uh, you stammered. "No, I didn't know that."
"Yeah, I did. It was short, though. Surface-level."
"Oh," you said. "Should I take offence to that?"
"What?" His eyes widened in realization with what he said. "No, that's not what I meant. You have an amazing personality. I just meant that… I just meant I like you more as a friend than to ruin that with any of those feelings."
"Oh, ok. You wouldn't have, though."
"I wouldn't?"
"No, everyone needs an ego boost every once in a while."
"Haha!"
"And besides, I've had feelings for you at one point too. But it was very cliche, so I tried to shake it as hard as I could."
"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows. "And did you?"
"Like I said, as hard as I could. If it's still there somewhere, it's buried very deep, so much so that I was embarrassed."
"Embarrassed to like me?"
"I mean embarrassed to try and make my life seem like some movie."
"Oh, well, if you did, it would've just made you that much better as an actress. Speaking of that, would you consider acting in the least?"
"Maybe, now that I'm leaving, it's basically the last thing I have to connect me to you."
"No," he said, pointing to your bracelet. "You have that."
You had forgotten that it was Daniel who gave it to you, but the realization brought a smile to your face. "Oh yeah, I'll never take it off."
Later on, long before the ball ended, you saw many of your friends leaving.
"Hey, are you ready to go?" Daniel approached you.
"Where is everyone going?"
He wriggled his eyebrows. "Afterparty!"
"But it's not over?"
"Quit being a party popper and just come with us, L/N!"
You gave in, something you did a lot, and you all started driving. When you got there, you realized you were at Daniel's house.
"The afterparty is at your house?" you asked.
"Well…" James answered.
Kat joined in. "It's really an afterparty!"
"This is your going away party!" Daniel finished.
"But I'm not going away for another month."
"Well, now you have an entire month for people to give you gifts and stuff, and you don't have to worry about the party!" He reasoned.
"But why did it have to be after the Leavers ball?"
"Because you're already in a dress, and it has to be a surprise! Surprise!" Kat exclaimed.
"Alright, fine!"
The entire night you partied and danced, and though you didn't drink alcohol, plentiful amounts of pop and mocktails were passed around. The music was a delight to your ears with all your favourite songs. There were chips and pizza with all your favourite toppings.
"This party is awesome!"
Daniel grinned. "Well, I am an amazing party planner if I do say so myself."
☆◦ 。\|/。◦☆
Airport
☆◦ 。/|\。◦☆
Daniel's parents drove your family to the airport. Your parents had sold the car. Your dad would return in a week to close a deal on the house. Everything was official, and now you were leaving.
You got out of the car, and the tears forcefully began to fall.
"I'm really gonna miss you, jerk," you said disdainfully to Daniel.
He chuckled. "I'm going to miss you more."
"Impossible!"
He wiped the fallen tear from your eye, and for a moment, you could see every single multi-coloured speck in his eyes and noticed how sometimes they looked blue, and at others, they looked grey or green.
You noticed the curvature of his smile and the chisel of his jawline.You saw the hurt in his eyes that said, 'why do you have to go? You're killing me,' and wanted to never move from that position.
He continued to rub the tears that fell onto your cheek, and the sad moment was as sheltered as it could be. You felt safe with him, in his arms, just looking at his face and being reminded of how he comforted you in a place that felt as familiar as Oz felt to Dorothy.
"What am I gonna do without you?" you whispered.
"Get at least one acting job, get an assistant and an agent, I'll do the same thing, and then either one of us has our assistants reach out to our agents, so we get back in touch in case we ever lose touch."
He sounded so grave that you couldn't help but laugh. "That's assuming I do become an actress, Daniel."
"You're right," he whined. "But don't forget me."
"I promise."
And you tried to keep that promise. Throughout your first year, you interned at UCLA, working in the lab. You then applied to go to school there, and you still tried to keep Daniel in your mind. Maintaining a social life on campus combined with schoolwork already wasn't easy. However, you still wouldn't let yourself forget your best friend.
It wasn't until you entered your senior year and you were about to graduate that he started to wane in your memories. The things you did together became obsolete as new friends and memories replaced the old. The things he taught you were thrown out to make space for the new lessons you learned each day.
Even when you did become an actress, you never really remembered why you decided to. You remembered that your friend pushed you to do that play, but it was almost ten years ago, and for the life of you, you couldn't remember his name.
But you did do it, first as an extra, then a body double, and then you started getting l roles on smaller shows. But your big break was getting a quasi-lead role on the spin-off of a big television show, The Walking Dead. For two years, you enjoyed going to conventions and playing the complex character, Valeria Bishop, and you thought you had it all figured out.
But life has a funny way of coming full circle and throwing you a curveball that knows you off course and changes your life.
107 notes · View notes
thr-333 · 3 years
Text
Drastic Measures- Part 1
@daminette-december2019-2020 ​
~Inspiration~
*Emerges from my hole*: oh ho ho~ we have another month of inspiration on our hands!
Next
-------------------
Marinette steps through the portal immediately collapsing; she doesn't drop the transformation until she hears Chat drop down next to her. She calls the transformation of both the Horse and Ladybug miraculous, knowing Chat will close his eyes without her asking, Marinette does the same for him as he calls off his own.
They stay like that, panting on the rooftop. It’ll be sunrise soon, Marinette knows what she has to do.
“He’s moved,” She breaks the silence. Stating the obvious, they’ve known this for months.
“At least he wont be bothering Paris anymore,” Chat laughs, without any humor.
“But Gotham is so much worse,” Marinette groans, “We can’t keep doing this, not like we are, Spots on,”
Marinette stands letting the transformation wash over her while keeping her eyes shut, this will be easier to say without looking at him anyway.
“Chat Noir, hand over your miraculous,” Marinette recoils at the wounded sound he makes, “I have to leave Paris,”
“What? No! Claws out!” Marinette opens her eyes to see Chat, furious and with tears in his eyes, “I’m coming with you!”
She thought he would say that. Probably would have hurt if he didn’t.
“I can’t just ask you to leave your life, your friends,” Marinette chokes up, “Your family,”
“And what about you?!” Chat says with such heartbreaking sincerity, “Who will you be leaving behind!?”
“... Everyone,”
But she had put it off for too long. Hawkmoth slowed his attacks in Paris months ago, they thought he was giving up… then he attacked Gotham. The attacks in Paris stopped. The ones in Gotham were so much worse. She thought… she thought she could keep it up, jumping through a portal every time Gotham needed her. It was the best of both worlds. Her family and friends were safe and she could still defeat Hawkmoth. But nothing was ever that easy. Gotham needed her, completely, with undivided attention. Paris didn’t. Gotham needed Ladybug more than Paris needed Marinette.
“Not me,” Chat breaks Marinette from her thoughts, gently holding her shoulders, “I’m coming with you,”
She should argue. She planned to argue, every detail ever rebuttal. But she was weak. Marinette so desperately wanted him to come. To have someone, anyone there for her. No not anyone she wanted Chat by her side. Her partner through thick and thin. The one who would help her take down Hawkmoth. It was so unbelievably selfish. 
She wanted him with her more than she wanted him to live his life here.
“Chat you realize we can’t tell anyone,” They could make the connection, they would try to stop them, or worse, follow them. If they went to Gotham alone at least they wouldn't have a life outside of this, they could focus wholly on taking down Hawkmoth, and maybe finally succeed, “... we have to run away,”
“Bug a boo that's the fun part,” Chat teases, Marinette couldn't see how leaving her friends and family would be at all fun, “... sorry… I know you’re leaving a lot behind,”
“If you do this-”
“When I do this,” Marinette raises a brow at him, he does it right back.
“We should reveal our identities,”
“Oh no, what a shame,” Chat dramatically ‘faints’, “Damn that makes this so much harder,”
“You know what?” Marinette ‘thoughtfully’ taps her chin, “I can probably find a new Chat Noir,”
“No, no! Sorry,” Chat immediately stands back up, “That’s obviously not why I’m doing this,”
“I know kitty,” Marinette smiles, getting him to relax, “But you need to think this over, I’m… I’m going to go pack,”
“Don’t need to think it over,” Chat smirks, “Claws off!”
“Chat! NO!” Marinette yelps, chiding, before actually processing who it was standing before her, “Adrien?!”
“Uhh, you know me?” Adrien stands there so awkwardly Marinette just burst into laughter, “Ummm,”
“S-sorry it’s it’s just,” Marinette held her sides as she kept cracking up, “Spots off!”
Her transformation fell and at that moment Marinette couldn’t even manage to feel any anxiety at him finding out, the ‘o’ face he made was too priceless. Before she could even think of being nervous Adrien also bursts out laughing, the two ending up as wheezing messes on the rooftop. It took a long while and lots of giggling to calm down.
“Well at least I’m not leaving all my friends behind,” Marinette says to the sky, “That is if you still want to come?”
“Meet you here tomorrow Marinette,” Adrien stands up, offering a hand to Marinette, “Same time,”
“See you kitty,” Marinette waves as they part ways, for now. She had a lot she needed to do today.
Marinette doesn't sleep when she gets home. She searches deep in her draws for that special fabric she put aside. Flips through her sketchbook to find that perfect design she did once. Then gets to work making a pattern. It is well past sunrise by the time she is done. She’s late for school. It doesn't matter anymore.
Not running to class for once she makes sure her parents are free later that night. She’d like to spend all day with them, but Marinette wants to see her friends one last time. She stuffs her bag with all the presents she had made her friends for future birthdays. Might as well give them now. Lila smirks at her as she walks into class, Marinette would usually worry. It doesn't matter anymore.
“Hey girl, I was wondering, Lila said some-” Marinette cuts her off, handing Alya a pile of wrapped gifts.
“Hi, sorry I’ve been busy, kind of went into a design frenzy,” Marinette laughs sheepishly, “I was going to give them at your birthday, but I just couldn't wait,”
“Awe, girl this is amazing!” Alya holds up the jacket Marinette made a few months ago, she hugs Marinette tight, “See I told you, Lila, Marinette's just been busy!”
“Too busy to make me anything, I’m sure,” Lila says, teary eyed.
“Actually no,” Marinette smiles, enjoying the utterly shocked look.
“I made this to welcome you to the class, but then you went to Achu,” Marinette places it down with open hostility, “And, well, there wasn't really an opportunity after that,”
After that Lila has a hard time trying to twist it against her. Even the complaints that the bandanna is so much smaller than everyone else's gifts is weak as it has beautiful embroidery of a fox and ladybug, everyone cooing over how sweet and personal the design is. Back when Marinette actually believed her lie that they could start over and be friends. It also was hard to turn anyone against Marinette as she handed out presents to anyone that walked through the door. Laughing and apologizing for her absence lately, claiming the whole time she was making things for them.
When Adrien came to class they both tried to stifle their laughter. Marinette only gave him one thing, so as not to be suspicious. It would help to have all new clothes when they ran away, she would give the rest to him then. It was a scarf, one she made a while ago with the new addition of a green cat paw in the corner.
Marinette, for all intents and purposes, felt wonderful for the rest of the day. She caught up with her friends, felt closer to them than she had in a while actually. They talked and laughed, Marinette for once not encouraging them to keep quiet, joking along with them, and taking a million pictures. Madame bustier didn't complain much, after all, she had an all-new makeup bag plus more.
It was fun. And the ‘see you tomorrow’ was hollow.
Marinette was dreading going back home. She asked for a special dinner that night, saying she had a special surprise to show them. And special it was, Marinette had made a new dress for her Maman, a more casual version of her wedding dress, with a special Marinette flare, plus a matching outfit for her Papa. They smiled saying it was beautiful, just as they had with her very first design and everything she made since then. They ate together and played video games together.
Marinette asked to look at old photo albums and they spent the rest of the night pouring over them. If she slipped a few out to take with her, neither noticed.
“I love you both,” Marinette hugs them tight, imagining she’ll never see them again.
Even if they do defeat Hawkmoth, Marinette's not sure she’ll make it through the fight. She could be gone for years, or maybe never return to Paris. Marinette didn’t know if she’d ever see them again, this could be it.
“We love you too,” Her Maman smiles, cupping her cheek, “Now go to bed we don't want you to be late for school tomorrow,”
Sorry I will be
Marinette just nods, hugging them one last time before heading upstairs. She packs her bag, full of newly brought or made clothes, clothes for Adrien, food, and whatever cash she had on hand. She leaves a note, saying there's something she has to do, that she loves them both and this is in no way their fault, not to look for her but Marinette doubts they’ll listen. She grabs her bag and the miracle box, saying goodbye to her home and disappearing into the night with Tikki.
By the time she meets up with Adrien Marinette is a sobbing mess. They hug each other. Adrien's not crying but she can sense the deep sadness in him. Tikki hugs her too, getting Marinette to calm down.
“So what’s the plan?”
“Go to Gotham,” Marinette shrugs, that was really the extent of it.
“We have nowhere to go,” Chat hums, trying to act nonchalant about everything, 
“I guess this means we’re homeless,” Marinette shrugs again, she had really only planned this for herself, and none of that seemed like a concern.
“We can find an abandoned warehouse, set up shop,”
“Either way we’re going to be pretty busy,” Constantly on the run, either running from someone or running after someone.
“Well, you know what they say,” Chat smirks, “We’ll sleep when this bastard is taken down,”
“You know it,” Marinette smiles, genuinely this time, “Pound it?”
“Pound it,”
 ---
 “After last week we can indeed confirm these attacks are occurring,”
“Oh sure it wasn't like I told you a month ago,” Jason scoffs, getting glared at by Bruce for interrupting.
“Well you have to admit ‘this guy came and destroyed ten blocks’ is pretty unbelievable when everything’s unscratched,” Tim continues to tap away at his computer, “And now we know the cause,”
The footage was shakily taken from the next building over, partly destroyed. With a bright light everything was fixed.
“Magic,” Dick says needlessly.
“Meta humans,” Batman growls, “Not approved and playing at being heroes,”
“Can we really complain if they fix everything after a fight?” Duke speaks up, “The police didn't even report any casualties, they don’t seem to be rookies,”
“Magic makes them reckless,” Batman shuts the argument down, “More so if they can fix everything, what happens when they can’t?”
“So basically you want them out,” Damian cuts in, there was no point arguing over it for however long, Bruce wouldn't allow them to keep roaming the city.
“Yes,” Bruce fixes them all with a hard stare, making it clear this is an order, “When you come in contact tell them they are to leave or be removed,”
They all agreed. Damian wishes he didn’t have to waste his time worrying about some second rate wannabes thinking they could challenge Batman for the protection of Gotham. They couldn't. What did they have that Batman didn’t?
 ---
 A lot was the answer. 
Or this particular new villain. It didn’t make any sense, usually, first time villains were easier to deal with, but no, here Robin was watching as Batman fought a losing battle against them. It didn’t help that they were brainwashing civilians, turning them against the rest. Robin was given very specific instructions not to harm them. Hard when they had no such orders.
Robin barely processes that Batman is thrown through a building before the main villain is turning to him. At least he could use more drastic measures with the actual villain, unsheathing his sword Robin lunges. He trades a few blows, unfortunately doing less damage than the villain can do with a singular super powered punch. With super strength, magic and Gotham citizens being steadily taken over this was looking more like a Justice league threat by the second. Everytime the villains should be down for the count they got back up, Damian couldn't find their weakness.
Robin knows he took a wrong step as the villain doesn't rush forward to take advantage but shoots out a beam, the same one Damian had just watch turn a civilian against the rest of his family. And he has no leverage to dodge. This would be so much worse than the civilians, setting his strength against the others? Without concern for killing them? Would Damian remember?
“Watch out!” A wire wraps around Robin, yanking him out of the way. He falls at someone's feet the wire slipping away, he can hear it whirling above him. 
Damian sits up, looking to who grabbed him, ready to fight if necessary, and- Loses his breath.
She's standing over him protectively, a makeshift wire shield repelling the beams that had been causing them so much trouble with ease. Like it was second nature. She looks down at him and smiles so gently, without a hint of fear or worry. Promising she has everything under control.
There's something to be said of Batman's intimidating, steady nature. It can put people at ease in its own way and be even more effective at cutting down enemies with a glare. But this? This is warmth, assurance, a steady appearance more in line with Wonder Woman yet still completely it’s own.
“You alright?” She holds out a hand for him.
Damian snaps out of it taking her hand startling at how she actually lifts him up without any effort on his part.
“Chat you ready?”
“Ready my Lady!”
My lady? Who’s Chat?
His answer comes a second later as a spotted container comes crashing down, fracturing the street. In an instant, the wire wraps around the container a hundred times over.
“Now!” My Lady commands.
“Cataclysm!” Chat yells out, the container crumbles under his touch, wire moving in to constrict around the villain.
The villain thrashes, still being able to send out beams wildly and with their minions closing in. Chat breaks off to fend them all off while Robin tries to catch his breath, Batman still in the rubble of a building. My Lady can’t hold the villain back and fight at the same time. Damian struggles to stand up and help her.
“Lucky charm replay!” 
Robin cringes at the bright light then watches as another spotted object falls into her hands. It’s a bent tube she looks around for a few seconds before holding it up. Damian rushes forward as a beam races towards her and she makes no effort to dodge. She catches it with the tube sending it back to the villain, it hits them square in the chest with no effect. Lady nods to herself before doing the same with the next beam. This time robin watches as it misses the villain, grazing their ear and sending their ear peice flying off.
“Chat!”
“On it!” Chat Noir catches the earring from midair, calling cataclysm again turning it to dust.
Damian watches not willing to let his jaw drop as the hideous villain transforms into a normal civilian. It’s such an intriguing sight that Robin startles when something flies towards Chat Noir snatching a purple butterfly from the air and pulling it back to My Lady. A few seconds later a white butterfly is flying out a… yo yo?
“Bye bye little butterfly,” She waves the glowing white butterfly away.
That was so cute
“Who are you?” Batman demands having just recovered, motioning for them to circle around them.
“Uh, your welcome,” Chat Noir scoffs, helping the previous villain up.
“I am Ladybug, this is my partner Chat Noir,” Partner? “We’re the previous heroes of Paris,”
“Paris has no heroes,” Batman glares at them, civilians around them still closing in Robin turns his defenses towards them.
“Then that makes the past what six? Seven? Years really awkward,” Chat Noir looks at Ladybug who shrugs, a civilian takes a swing at her she dodges smoothly before throwing the pipe in the air.
“Miraculous Ladybug!” Now Robin's jaw does drop as a thousand glowing ladybugs swarm around the nearby buildings, maybe all of Gotham not even leaving a scratch behind.
“Why are you in Gotham now then?” Batman recovers first, civilians nearby blinking back into reality.
“Hawkmoth has moved his operations to Gotham to feed off the negative emotions here,” well there’s plenty of that here “It makes his Akuma more powerful and we can no longer continue to operate from Paris,”
“Then he’s in Gotham now and is my problem,” our problem “I can handle this,”
“Well you did a great job of that,” Chat Noir rolls his eyes, leaning on his staff, “How's your back by the way?”
“Chat Noir,”  Ladybug scowls, then turns to Batman, “You can’t and it’s my responsibility as Ladybug and as guardian of the miraculous,”
“What's that-”
Nightwing is interrupted by a beeping from Chat Noir's ring.
“It would be that, we have to go now,” Chat Noir salutes moving to leave, they tighten their circle surrounding them.
“You will leave Gotham,” Batman demands, this time its Ladybugs turn to glare she tsks and rounds on him, not managing to seem that threatening in her brightly colored costume.
“You don’t know who Hawkmoth is, you don’t know what Akuma are, you don't know about the miraculous, you have no clue about the guardians, you hadn't heard of whats been happening in Paris for years and you don’t know who we are or what we’ve done,” Batman is shocked under the forces of the heroine's righteous fury, “There are things going on here that you don't understand, we are here to stay until hawkmoth is defeated,”
Robin watches as she leaves a shell shocked Batman behind dissapering into Gotham’s night with her partner.
Inspiring
 —-
 “And why can’t they be in Gotham?” Damian demands from him yet again.
“No metahumans,” Bruce sighs, Damian had been unreasonably stubborn on this front, “They only cause more damage,”
“Actually they repaired a lot,” Damian leans over the desk to glare over that him, “And saved you,”
“Go to bed,” Bruce demands, Alfred busy patching up his wounds. Damian scoffs before storming out of the cave, still half in his robin uniform, “Whats wrong with him?”
“I couldn’t say, master Bruce,” Usually for Alfred that meant he knew exactly what was going on. He tied the final bandage before holding the phone out, “There's a call for you,”
Bruce shrugs on his shirt before answering. It wasn't the phone reserved for business so at least it wouldn't be that big a pain in the neck.
“Bruce,”
Never mind
“Talia,” Bruce growls, going to glare at Alfred who had already made himself scarce, “What do you want?”
“Oh please I’m not up to anything sinister,” Bruce can just imagine her waving him off with a smirk, “This time,”
“But you still want something,” Bruce acknowledged, sinister or not she can cause a lot more trouble without being out too.
“A missing person case, a friend of mine got in touch, her daughter ran away yesterday, l thought it would be right up your alley,”
“Why would you tell me this,” There was obviously more to this, there always was with Talia, “And more importantly why do you care,”
“Oh because she’s Sabine's daughter,” Bruce freezes, a million case files and reports flashing through his mind, none of which outlined a daughter let alone a family, “Surely you’ve heard of Sabine?”
“... We’re on the case,”
“Great, good luck~”
Now he has to worry about potentially one of the most dangerous assassins in the world on the loose. A shift in the shadows catches his eye before disappearing. Great. And now the whole family knew, or would soon.
---------------------
Taglist? nope don’t have one, horrible at keeping track of them sorry~
704 notes · View notes
sn3ka · 3 years
Text
Shouta Aizawa (alpha) x GN!Reader (omega)
So I'm like actually really nervous posting this since this is my first fanfic and my anxiety keeps tell me its horrible but I still wanna share!!!! Its mostly just like filler? Fluff? At the end it mentions the readers 'heat' so soft lewd but I wanted to post this first to see if it was even worth it to continue working on it
Also there is like multiple ways to spell his name and my brain can't handle it--
I also didn't give the reader a quirk and I couldn't decide what Aizawa should smell like so you get to pick I guess lol
I guess I'll take suggestions/requests??? But I do have a right to reject any I don't feel comfortable doing (I'm also very busy)
__________
You were a teacher aid at UA and mostly was in Aizawa's class, you did occasionally help with teaching but you were mostly there to help any students having troubles understanding the work and you offered tutoring after school hours mostly in the dormitory lounge area but occasionally at cafes with students that were more shy about getting help.
Aizawa's demeanor clashed with yours, he was stern and reserved, while you were usually 'perky' though you were relaxed. There were times when even you gave a death glare that definitely made everyone shut up and pay attention, luckily you didn't have to use it often.
Shota was secretly proud of your progress as a teacher aid since at first you were very timid and would get nervous when a student needed help which made you subconsciously give off a slightly sour smell even with the scent blockers you were taking he could still get a small whiff of your anxiousness.
He wouldn't admit that he liked being in your presence and liked your sweet scent that you released when you were content/proud with yourself but to the other teachers they could see his slight favoritism towards you when having a teacher aid (mainly because he only let a few teacher aids assist before stating whether he would accept them or not and you were the only one he accepted, of course no one had told you this)
He also seemed to be softer around you which Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic) noticed almost immediately and would tease him about when they were alone
It had been a normal day basically a routine, you get up, take a shower and get dressed, have a quick breakfast, take your scent blockers and then leave your complex after checking you had everything while you lock your door and ride your bike to work.
Once you got at UA and confirmed you were a employee with a small badge you were let in and you quickly lock up your bike heading into the school going to the staff room and sat down before you realized that you had forgotten to pack lunch, you involuntarily let out a small whine very softly only Aizawa looking up from his desk giving you a raised eyebrow
You blush a bit realizing what you did and laugh it off and started to help grade assignments for class. You left notes on some papers of encouragement and some helpful feedback for when someone got a answer wrong.
You weren't quite done with grading while you heard someone calling your name and you look up seeing Aizawa "Y/N it is almost time for class" you nod smiling and trying to push down your urge to breathe in his lovely scent as you get up grabbing all the papers that have graded and also the ones you haven't
Shota say you picking up your papers and sighed to himself as his alpha desperately wanted to take them from you and to show his strength
"I'm ready Aizawa-sama!" You smiled brightly at him before he starts to walk to the class and you follow closely behind, he wanted to tell you that you could call him with a more friendly tone but decided not to
You both had desks by each other and you waved to what students who were already filling the classroom shortly after you two walked in. You decided to take the upgraded papers from Shota's desk and focus on them while he taught class and let Iida make sure the class stayed focus while he went into his sleeping back laying down. You always giggled to yourself whenever you say him do that but switched your attentions back to your grading silently as the classroom was filled with small chatter.
You didn't notice that it was lunch until you saw students leaving and that Shota was sitting in his chair now calling to you
"Hey Y/N"......"Y/N?"
"H-huh? Oh sorry I was focused heheh what do you need Aizawa-sama?"
He grunted a soft displeased noise as he ,secretly wishing you paid that much attention to him, said "take a break already its lunch" it took you a few minutes to process what he said and you just shyly look away and nod softly
"Sorry I guess I got caught up didn't I?..." before he could respond your stomach growled and you were immediately flustered while he just stared at you thinking about how cute your were and how he couldn't wait to make you his omega
You both had a small understanding of each other about appreciating the quiet. He shot you a glance "aren't you gonna get your food?" He had pulled a snack out of one of his desk drawers "ah... I uh....." he waited patiently for your response as he suddenly smelled a soft scent of distress which his alpha immediately wanted to jump to you and calm you down with purrs but Shoto resisted the urge as you quietly mumbled "I forgot to pack it...." he thought to himself about offering some of his snacks as his alpha wanted to prove himself by providing for you
You smiled as you mostly went back to your normal scent "its okay though heheh I'm not that hungry anyway so I'm just gonna get something from a vending machine" you explained while you got up and left the classroom but Aizawa had noticed that you were off all day and that you probably took more than your normal scent blockers but decided not to think about it while he ate his snack
You where really hoping no one had smelled your pre-heat at the moment and your mind rushed wanting to make a nest back at yourself home but you knew even if you did that it would feel like it was missing something...... it would feel uncompleted unless you had something that Aizawa had scented, being embarrassed by your own thoughts of wanting to have your long term crush finally scent you and gave you some much needed love. You decided to let your omega have a small victory by getting a sweet snack from the vending machine
Walking back you saw you were getting some strange looks and you were confused until a particular cocky student tried to flirt with you and thats when you realized oh shit they could smell it
You were surprised that they could smell it even with your scent blockers but you immediately BOOKED IT to the classroom quickly eating your snack as you ran in
Shoto was surprised to see you rush into the classroom but kept his poker face but soon realized that you were distressed by the overwhelming sour scent. He began to walk to you but not before you hid under his desk and let out a distressed chirp, his alpha was screaming at him and he increased his own scent in the classroom to hide yours and calm you at the same time
Crouching down he gave you a headpat calming you down "sorry just I am uh...." you don't think you could look at your crush while you were getting the courage to tell him that you were in preheat
You let out a surprised chirp when you saw him lean in and you immediately wanted to kiss him but you blushed when he leaned towards your scent gland (on your neck) and sniffed it you subconsciously moved your neck so he would get more access to it shutting your eyes nervously biting down on your lip
"You are close to your heat aren't you?" It was hard to control himself and keep his calm demeanor while your sweeter than normal scent filled his nose all the while his alpha wanting to help you with those needs thinking to himself no wonder you were off al day
You nod softly and looked at him to see what kind of face he had and you couldn't lie that you had been happy to see a small tint of blush on his cheeks
"I forgot to keep track sigh I only realized because I was getting stares from some of the stronger alpha students"
He immediately wantedto bring you home so you could nest and be protected but then realizedit might be too far away...."How close is your home?"
You mumbled quietly "not that close" which wasn't a complete lie it wasn't the closest place to the school but it was closer than most teachers
Aizawa had to think to himself, would you be okay at his place? Did he even have enough nesting materials? While he was pondering he never stopped head patting you forgetting about how close you two were until you couldn't control yourself from your encouraging omega saying go for it so you shamelessly moved your head into his chest clutching his shirt tightly hoping he wouldn't be repulsed by you and which how could he? You were just so cute but he still froze up for a split second by the sudden contact before wrapping his arms around you patting your back now instead and released comfort pheromones all the while you just breathed in his irresponsible scent (more so than before)
He practically whispered into your ear "I'll bring you to my home and keep you safe Y/N"
_________
I hope you enjoyed!!! If not I'm sorry???
687 notes · View notes