#anyway dean will always find cas no matter what

[sunglassesmish]

insane dialogue for an insane scene

#no matter what i try this scene always stays looking ugly coloured #my gifs #spn #spnedit #spn 12x19 #destiel #anyways the main point is how they had dean say ‘we were worried’ when for multiple episodes they showed dean worrying about cas. #but sam being like. he’s fine. he always is! #and then cas says ‘when YOU were taken’ and ‘i couldn’t find YOU’ and ‘i needed to come back here with a win for YOU’ #no mention of sam #just funny

[zmediaoutlet]

"Dean, this is stupid—" Sam starts, but he shuts right up when Dean grabs his head down and kisses him, and he also kisses back so clearly it ain't that stupid, is it. Grabs Dean's waist on automatic and his tongue's, yeah, hot and there, ready, even as he mumbles some crap against Dean's mouth about how there's no time and there's a job to do and, yeah, like Dean doesn't know that? But—

"You aren't ruining this for me," Dean says. Even if it's looking like there's a good chance of it. He drops down onto his bootheels and Sam raises his eyebrows with this face like Dean's the dumbest person he knows and even if that's maybe true a lot of the time it's not true this time. Dean's—almost positive. "C'mon, man. We're in the actual wild west, here. There's gonna be a posse. Are you kidding? This is the best day ever."

Dark as hell in the 1800s but there's enough moonlight that Dean can see Sam's expression complicating into some new, more elaborate version of the you're stupid face. "Dude, we have—like, no time. Cas is gonna come pick us up at noon, no matter what."

Dean tips his hat back, slides his hand down to cup the front of Sam's jeans. Grins at what he finds, especially when Sam's eyelids flicker. "We're experienced cowpokes, here. Give me ten minutes."

"Never say cowpoke in this context," Sam says. Not exactly soft, that big familiar bulge filling Dean's palm just like it always has. He glances toward the street, down through the muddy alley, sweeps his own hat off his head, holding it out and to the side almost like he's trying to hide how Dean's going for his belt, zip, permission not exactly stated aloud but Dean was being honest about the experience, he knows permission when he's got it.

God—yeah. Crisp hair and the thick root getting thicker. Dean smiles up with his tongue between his teeth and in the moonlight it's hard to tell but he bets Sam's cheeks are red.

"You're an idiot," Sam breathes. Oh, yeah. Red-faced. His chest heaving. "We get caught we're gonna get hanged, man."

Dean lifts a shoulder, crowding in closer. Sam's hand slides to his ass, squeezes. "Sheriff's busy," he says. He nudges his nose under Sam's jaw and grips his dick at the same time. "Anyway. Boy, they said you was hung—"

Burst of laughter that Sam muffles against Dean's shoulder—Dean grins, even if Sam knocks his hat askew—and Sam drops fully back against the rough-board siding, spreads his boots so Dean can crush in close. Dean opens up his own jeans, quick, kissing Sam's jaw and picturing it—when they're back in the world with modern plumbing and beds and whiskey that doesn't taste like the ass-end of a Ford Pinto—getting Sam into the clothes Dean bought and getting that hat back on his head and really getting his share of schnitzengruben—but god, it's fun now too, in the mud with their boots knocking together and Sam's hand plunging in to grip him whole-handed, hot. Goddamn, cowboy.

"They was right," Sam says, quiet, and only Dean could hear but he laughs too, sniggering up against Sam's throat. Okay, so this is stupid, but Sam's hand is on his dick and they've got—less than ten minutes. Dean braces his boots better in the mud and slides his hand up under Sam's shirt, feels the hair on his belly. His gut warm and knowing the world's teetering in the balance but when isn't it, damn. He gets ten minutes, goofing around with his brother.

"First one to shoot owes the other a sarsaparilla," Dean says, and Sam groans and crams his hat back on his own head, says, "Shut up," but he grips Dean by the neck and kisses him and grips Dean by the nuts and then drags his fingers up the root and tugs up the shaft and slides his thumb sweet, sweet, right there, where it counts—okay, so maybe Dean spoke too soon about the sarsaparilla.

(Later—much later—at a motel after they clear out of Bobby's house and  Cas is sent on his way and Dean's not looking forward, at all, to stripping out of his awesome sheriff's outfit, and thinking about whether he could keep it at the storage locker in Black Rock without Sam somehow finding out—Sam says, you're the worst, and Dean says why this time, hardly paying attention, and Sam says, you got any idea how awful it is to ride a horse with your shorts all caked in jizz? and then, while Dean's bent over whooping with laughter, Sam stripping miserably out of his jeans, Sam says, you still owe me that sarsaparilla, and Dean has to sit on the floor, shoulders shaking, before he says, yeah, Sammy, eyes streaming, yeah, I'll get right on that, and Sam says you better but when Dean wipes his face he sees that Sam's looking at him that way Sam sometimes does when things are good, so. Dean was right, wasn't he. Best day ever.)

#happy wincest wednesday #my writing #ww lottery #a random ficlet for episode 122 #it's been fuckin shitty out here fam #so have some giggles barely in context

[lychello]

Hi, I hope you're having a good day!

Would you write a fluff fic with Dean needing comfort from his bf after a bad hunt? Dean just being clingy and wanting affection and love.

the confinement of a hunter | d. winchester

pairing : dean winchester x hunter male reader

wc : roughly 900

a/n : hii anon thank you :3 i am having a great day so far i'm just trying to force myself out of writers block LMFAOOOO you're a great deal of help in that aspect

content warnings : fluff/angst, comfort, mentions of death and blacking out

The door to the bunker opens with a heavy noise that reverberates off the concrete surroundings, breaking the silence of the cavern. Dean walks in—and Sam and Cas aren't with him.

You glance your head up, but only for a brief second, not enough to look at him; you knew who it was by his footsteps anyway. "Oh, Dean, I bought you some stout, it's on the table. I noticed we were out again, have you been—" Your voice trails off when you glance back up, only this time your gaze lingers and you notice the heavy expression sink further from his face. "Dean, sweetheart, what's..."

He stumbles down the stairs, almost having to pull his own weight—if you didn't know any better you'd presume he was about to collapse. He sighs dismissively, "I don't know."

There's a short moment of silence before you speak up again. "Where's Cas, and Sam? I'd assume they were with you."

"They're out."

"...Where?"

"I don't know. They're out at a... reading convension or something stupid like Sam always suggests."

Dean's voice raises slightly but there's an unusually tired edge to it. You go to bring it up but you're cut off when he collapses in your arms, digging his head deep into your chest. The first sign was his offhand behaviour; the second, this; the third, and most important, was the fact that he ignored the alcohol sitting visibly on the table.

You adjust how you're sitting, letting him rest more comfortably on your lap. Your breathing is getting less steady as you process just how likely something is wrong. "...Talk about it with me. Please."

When you notice he isn't listening, or much rather he was, just ignoring you, you raise your palm to his chin, lifting it up to meet your eyes full of concern. "Dean, talk to me."

"..."

He turns in your arms. "I don't... I couldn't save her." He mumbles.

You stay silent. He forces himself to sound composed, but you know his emotional suppression is coming into play. He feels you sigh deeply and looks up from your chest, clinging his arms around your waist. "What?"

"You know that I love you, right?" You say with a tender tone to your voice. You drag your hands through his hair softly, every inch of your fingertips lightly brushing his natural curls.

"I know."

"And you know that you can tell me anything. Right?"

"...I know."

"Dean... please—what happened?"

There's a few more beats before he speaks up. "I can deal with vamps, you know? They're easy to take on, easy for me—but there was this one moment where I just... blacked out. I blacked out, and it killed her."

You make sure to keep your voice soft, "I take it they don't know? Sam and Castiel?"

Dean laughs under his breath but it's clear it's ingenuine. "I didn't want to tell them I was on the mission to begin with. Why in hell's name would I tell them I killed a girl?"

"You didn't kill her, sweetheart, and deep down you know that." Your voice aches with sturdiness but the gentle tone doesn't let down, "how is it that no matter how harsh the world burns you, you always find ways to blame yourself for it being on fire?"

You feel his breath slow down quite a bit at your words, a heavy contrast to a few seconds ago where it was quick and unsteady. Dean's face falls back into your chest, nudging his head more into your freshly-washed shirt. He speaks again but his voice cracks, "I've lost so many people. Imagine how her family feels, her mother, her sister... she was innocent. That was an innocent girl."

"Time will forgive you, he knows you can't save everyone."

You run your fingertips down his left cheek, palming at his face. "You always wind up in these situations, don't you, Deano...?" You whisper lovingly, still stroking through his hair with your other hand. "Don't you worry, though... I'll be here for you. You know that, don't you? I'm here."

The bunker is empty and free of noise except for the static of voices on the TV. No matter how much you seem to focus on the show, your eyes are always drawn back to the man in front of you.

"You're beautiful."

Dean laughs into your clothing before grinning up at you. "Can't get enough of this face, huh?"

You laugh with him under your breath before dragging his face forward with one palm and kissing him gently. "Don't think I could ever get enough."

The man below melts into your kiss, clinging at your sleeves, kissing back just as tenderly, just as full as hope as the last.

You chuckle as you pull away and go to move so you can get up. "Do ya want a beer—huh?" You feel your eyebrows furrow as Dean clings to your waist despite stuck in an uncomfortable position.

His voice is mixed between fatigue and longing, "Don't get up. Not yet—just... stay here."

Your eyes widen as you burst out into a mocking grin, "No beer for the Dean Winchester? Holy shit, I must be dreaming."

Dean shoots you a glare, but you don't move. You stay put—and this clingness may not wear off any time soon, or, at least until the others get back.

#dean winchester #supernatural #male reader #x male reader #fluff #hurt/comfort #dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #fluff and angst #spn #spn x reader

[norahastuff]

I’ve said this before, but 2x20 and Dean’s djinn dream really gets me. I mean, you have Dean bleeding emotions all over the place. His wish came true, he got Mary back, and it’s almost like he reverts to being a little kid. He’s so damn vulnerable. He gets to play house, his mom’s alive, Sam is happy... but he and Sam don’t have much of a relationship, because Dean’s fear has always been that the only thing keeping them together as a family was hunting. Without that, why would Sam bother with him? Then there’s also the fact that the Dean in this fantasy is a complete fuck up. He’s a drunk who steals, cheats, and lets down the people he loves. I think that’s another fear Dean’s always had about himself. Hunting and saving people allows him to think of himself as the hero, the good guy, but without that, he thinks there’s not much to him. 

Which is total bullshit. I mean, come on: can you ever imagine the Dean Winchester we know stealing his brother’s prom date? The same Dean who would walk over hot coals to see his brother happy. The second he ever notices Sam show interest in a girl, he completely backs away. But in this djinn universe, that’s the role he casts himself in. 

Also, John is dead, which is something that needs a whole other post to itself. The one thing I will say is that when Dean has his breakdown at John’s grave, when he pleads with him and asks “Why does it always have to be me?” John doesn’t answer. And Dean’s face is really something. It’s an “of course he’s not gonna fucking answer” expression. Whatever the universe, John will always be the unknowable, unreachable deity that Dean will never really be able to please. He’ll never get what he wants from John.

And then there’s Carmen. His partner in this world isn’t someone he knows or someone who knows him. It’s a model from a beer ad with the caption “go someplace better.” She’s not real. Dean doesn’t even have a concept of what a real partner would be. Dean seems a little troubled by that when he comes across the beer ad in the magazine. Like he’s disappointed by how empty his life is that he can’t even fantasise about a real person.

I also find that really interesting in the context of Lisa. The next time we see Dean fantasise about someone, it’s Lisa. He imagines a life with her and what could be. But the truth is, Lisa’s not any more real than Carmen was. She represents Dean’s fantasy of the kind of normal life he thinks he should want, but in reality doesn’t. Initially, you could claim he’s not happy with Lisa because he thinks Sam is trapped in the cage, but even after Sam comes back, Dean’s not satisfied with his suburban life. It’s not until he rips the tarp off the Impala and heads out on the road, do we see Dean actually smile and feel like himself again. 

Anyway, it’s all fascinating, especially in the context of s14/15. Like, take what everyone in his djinn world tries to tell him to convince him to stay: 

MARY: It's everything you want. We're a family again. Let’s go home.

JESSICA: You don't have to worry about Sam anymore. You get to watch him live a full life.

CARMEN: We can have a future together. Have our own family. I love you, Dean.

SAM: Why is it our job to save everyone? Haven't we done enough?

What Dean truly wants is a family. A home. He wants Sam to be happy and to have a life that he gets to be a part of. And he wants a partner who will raise a family with him. Someone who loves him. 

The reason he can’t stay in the djinn dream no matter how much he wants to? It’s not real. 

Cut to Cas, over a decade later looking Dean in the eye and telling him “Dean, you asked what about all this is real? We are.” And to Dean point blank telling John, in the home that he shares with his brother, his angel and their nephilim son, that he has a family. He’s happy with who he is, with who Sam is. 

And fucking cut to Cas, an angel who loved Dean so much, it rewired his entire existence. Someone who saw Dean, saw all of him, who knew him to his fucking core and loved him anyway. Loved him because of all that he saw, and not in spite of it. He’s not the fuck up he sees himself as. Cas sees him as he really is: someone who loves, who lights up the world around him, 

That’s something Dean thought he would never have. In the djinn dream Dean tells Mary that he has to leave. That none of this matters because it’s not real. Mary says: 

“It doesn't matter. It's still better than anything you had.”

It’s heartbreaking, but in the context of future seasons... Dean will have something better. And it’ll mean so much more because it’s real. 

#this episde man #2x20 #my spn thoughts #destiel #spn meta

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Dating Dean Winchester Would Include

You’d meet on a hunt [whether a hunter already or a victim it doesn't matter].

Because you’d leave with the boys after right meeting with them.

Your old life couldn't run alongside the new.

You’d instantly find Dean attractive.

But the risk of complicating things would be too big of one.

Dean would feel the same.

It would unnerve him so he’d kind of be an asshole at first.

There’d be a lot of mutual pining.

And Sam would catch on immediately. Especially once he noticed that the amount of conquests Dean had dwindled.

‘Just tell her.’ ‘Oh and get her killed? Sure Sammy.’ ‘You’re allowed to have a family Dean.’ ‘She is family…which is why I can’t lose her.’ 

After he’d get over himself he’d loosen up around you.

And even though you weren’t together you’d act just like a couple anyway.

You’d share a bed on hunts.

And somehow always end up cuddled up together whether in a motel bed or the impala.

He’d tell you he liked you accidentally.

Probably after he saved your ass on a hunt.

‘What the hell were you thinking!?’ ‘I was just…Dean did you just kiss me?’ ‘I, I mean,’ ‘Do it again.’ 

Nothing would really change except now you could actually touch one another.

And Dean would be insatiable.

You’d get caught at least once a day much to Sam’s annoyance or Cas’ embarrassment.

You were sure you’d had sex in every room of the bunker.

He knew what he was doing sure but he wasn’t a get-it-done kinda guy.

He was such a softy when it was just the pair of you. Alone. 

If you told anyone how much he enjoyed cuddling he would 100% deny it.

‘Dean we need to get up.’ ‘Five more minutes.’ ‘If Sam sees us in this back seat-’ ‘Sammy can grow the hell up. It’s my car. And if I want to spend my time butt ass naked with my best girl I will.’ 

He’d always worry about you.

He’d already lost so much.

You’d always catch him checking in on you [glancing at you in the rear view, .making sure you were still there in the middle of the night].

He’d definitely try to bench you from hunts.

And he’d hate that you and Sam could work around his points with logic.

‘It’s not safe. They could use you as a bargaining chip.’ ‘In that case, Sam and Cas better not go either then.’ ‘But-’ ‘You really think that I’m your only weak spot?’ ‘She’s got a point.’ ‘Can it Cas!’

You and Sam would love teasing him.

He’s really easy to wind up.

Cas would 100% try to join in.

You’d love cooking for them.

Your little dysfunctional family.

You’d even look up some pie recipes.

And you’d 100% use them whenever you wanted to get him on your side. He was a fickle man when it came to pie.

He’d want to get married.

For some reason he wanted you to be an official Winchester.

Nothing too big or flashy.

Just the family in the bunker.

Cas officiating with Sammy as his best man.

Slow dancing in the library [not in front of Sam because Dean refused to be tormented].

And he’d even take you on a ‘honeymoon’ .

You’d insist on taking a million pictures [some that were for your eyes only].

And they’d be put up around the bunker, tucked in your phone case, and inside Dean’s wallet to remind you of one other.

It wouldn’t be extravagant.

But a weekend away from work, the bunker and the craziness of your life was enough for you.

And he’d try and keep it up every anniversary.

THIS IS PART OF MY CHRISTMAS CHALLENGE. I’LL BE POSTING AN IMAGINE EVERDAY FROM 1ST - 25TH DECEMBER. THIS AND ALL IMAGINES WILL BE UPLOADED IN THE LINK POSTED DAY BY DAY.

ADVENT CALENDAR OF IMAGINES

#My writing #dean #dean winchester #dean winchester imagine #dean winchester fluff #dean winchester headcanon #my headcanons #my headcanon #christmas challenge #supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural headcanon

[1x20]

Why are you a deanbenny hater? 👀

askfasdfljk honestly hater is kind of a strong word (i know i'm the one who said it first but it's mostly hyperbole). however i AM a deanbenny disliker.

mostly this is because i think they deleted benny's most interesting scene: right before dean kills him in 8x19, benny admits that he's drank human blood since coming back from purgatory.

now as you can see even the top comment on that video is "I'm glad they didn't put the part where Benny basically admitted he fed on humans in the show. I'd hate to have to have had Dean deal with that." which is EXACTLY why deleting that scene bothers me so much.

s8 is essentially just one big contest for dean's affection between sam, cas, and benny. cas and benny don't really like each other (see, like, all the purgatory scene), sam and benny don't like each other (sam doesn't like)

now another theme in s8 is that dean actually has... kind of impossible standards? and he WILL do awful things to/for the people he loves. when dean comes back in 8x01, he blames sam for not looking for him even though sam thought he was dead:

DEAN After you looked for me. [SAM says nothing.] Did you look for me, Sam? [SAM looks away.] Good. That's good. Now, we – we... always told each other not to look for each other. That's smart. Good for you. Of course, we always ignored that because of our deep, abiding love for each another, but not this time, right, Sammy?

and then he IMMEDIATELY starts blaming sam for not continuing to hunt (even though this is something dean has also expressed interest in doing multiple times, see 2x20's "why do we have to sacrifice everything, dad? it's [not fair]", for example)

DEAN So you just turned tail on the family business. SAM Nothing says "family" quite like the whole family being dead. DEAN I wasn't dead [He stands up and walks around SAM.] In fact, I was knee-deep in God's armpit killing monsters, which, I thought is what we actually do.

&

DEAN He was our responsibility. [He tosses the phone at SAM’s chest.] And you couldn't answer the damn phone.

etc etc. this actually feeds into a theme for the rest of carver era which carries over into dabb era, which is that dean expects complete and full devotion to him and his ideals. BUT we're getting ahead of ourselves.

now dean's relationship to benny is actually kind of idealized. in fact in 8x05, dean & sam have this fight:

SAM Listen, Dean, we came here on a dead body. You asked for some time, and now there's another dead body. Are we just going on trust here? DEAN Yes. SAM Okay. Because we've killed for a lot less, and you know how these things turn out for us. DEAN Yes, I do - too well. In fact, every relationship I have ever had has gone to crap at some point. But the one thing I can say about Benny - he has never let me down. SAM Huh. Well, good on you, Dean. Must feel great finally finding someone you can trust after all these years.

this IS in fact a load of crap. benny is barely even around for him & dean to have disagreements. the only extended period of time they spend around each other is in purgatory, but crucially dean enjoys purgatory because there are no consequences. purgatory is an obligation & consequence free place: he can be as violent (or gay) as he wants without it mattering. and that's why benny HAS to leave as soon as they hit the ground running in 8x01, because benny can't even stick around to have consequences.

as such, dean and benny BARELY spend any real time together anyway: dean could've said the EXACT same thing about cas in s5 to sam, but he was forced to confront that cas was a real person in s6 and that's when his relationship with cas immediately started breaking down.

so when people take "benny has never let me down" as a sort of romantic statement about benny, that kinda bothers me. to me that line indicates the total devotion dean needs to consider you a good person & the unreasonable standards he sets. PLUS it plays into sam's monsterhood as expressed in this gifset: people who are monsters are NOT monsters to dean as long as he loves them - but as soon as they do something he doesn't like or that love runs out? they become monsters again.

now benny ends up winning the battle for dean's affection because he is, in essence, the perfect dean companion. thinks he's cool, listens to whatever he says, is totally devoted to him to the point of letting dean kill him. this is INTENSELY boring to me. why bring up these issues dean's having if you're just gonna play into them and not do anything with it?

and by deleting the scene where benny admits to drinking human blood, you reframe the whole deanbenny relationship. instead of the point of deanbenny being "dean has control issues, dean expects total devotion from his friends & family, dean's relationships are all intensely dysfunctional," it turns into "sam & cas should simply do whatever dean says all the time and dean would like them more."

and even though i'm a deangirl, i REALLY hate that.

#ice.txt #dean

[cas-kingdom]

Supernatural Masterpost

Main Masterpost

one shots

A Brother Like No Other (Sam x Dean) - Sam sometimes forgets that he’s not the older brother.

Toast (Sam x Dean x Castiel) - Castiel makes toast for the first time.

My Humans (Sam x Dean x Castiel) - Dean sticks post-it notes to his brother’s back, and Cas is one confused angel.

Louder Than Thunder (John x reader) - John helps you overcome your fear of thunder.

Sunset (John x reader) - You and John have a picnic and watch the sun set.

Tears (John x reader) - You talk to your dad before he leaves to go on a hunt.

A Father’s Love (John x reader) - “No man in this world can love a girl more than her father.” You learn this after having a pretty horrible argument with Dean.

Ladybird (Gabriel x reader) - Gabriel. A brother, a protector, a survivor. And most importantly, your best friend.

Into Battle (Gabriel x reader) - You’re about to enter the biggest battle you’ll ever face. A snowball fight.

A Light in the Dark (Dean x Crowley x reader) - Part of being an older brother means chasing away the nightmares. That’s what Sam and Dean’s been doing since you were a little girl. Now, it’s Crowley’s turn.

All That Matters (Sam x Dean x reader) - You lose against Dean in a wrestling match. What could get worse than that?

Get Some Sleep (Castiel x reader) - When you refuse to go to sleep, it takes a certain angel to remind you who’s the boss.

To Annoy an Angel (Castiel x reader) - There’s no better way to pass the time than annoying Cas. Cas, on the other hand, has a different opinion on the matter.

Fade Into You (Castiel x reader) - Sometimes, you just need a hug, and Cas is all too happy to oblige.

Bring Him Back (Gabriel x reader) - Gabe was here, but he wasn’t… here. Not your Gabe, anyway. But don’t worry, you’d bring him back.

Hey Brother (Dean x reader) - You were meant to be home six hours ago. Dean’s not happy. At all. Or: Even when you’re alone, your brother is always there.

Living (Sam x Dean x Castiel x reader) - Cas walks in on you and Dean sliding along the hallway in socks. It’s all fun and games until someone breaks their ankle.

Nobody Knew (Lucifer x reader) - People forget that the Devil was once an Angel.

Gimme a Kiss (Crowley x reader) - Crowley wants a good night kiss, and he’s not letting you leave without one.

I’ve Got You (Crowley x reader) - You’re injured, and the first person you go to is Crowley.

About a Dog (Sam x Dean x Castiel x reader) - Even dead, Gabriel still finds ways to make you happy.

Learning to Love (Sam x Dean x Castiel x Jack x reader) - A nephilim asks an angel for dating advice. What could go wrong?

Archangels and Austerity (Gabriel x reader) - After Jack asks you out on a date, Gabriel turns up… and he’s not happy.

Toro (Dean x reader) - He looked like a bull about to charge. And what do you do when you’re faced with a bull? You run.

A Memory (John x reader) - Jack has disappeared, you haven’t heard from Cas in a while, and you’re starting to miss how things used to be.

Taken (Sam x Dean x Castiel x Jack x reader) - The blood of a virgin is needed in many a spell, and Sam and Dean have become accustomed to turning to you. However, after one particular night, they’re about to find out they’re going to have to turn to someone else from now on. And it can’t be Jack.

Real (Dean x reader) - While Michael’s possessing Dean, he says things to you that make you think.

Soldier (Gabriel x reader) - Gabriel finds out you’ve been keeping something from him, and he’s not impressed.

Locked In (Sam x Dean x Castiel x reader) - Jack’s locked in the box, and you’re only just finding out.

A Little Unsteady (Jared Padalecki x reader) - You have to get a cavity filled, and it’s your first one. Naturally, you’re quite nervous, and who better to help calm those nerves than Jared Padalecki?

drabbles

John x reader (“I was just worried.”)

John x reader (“You can’t give up something you haven’t even started.”)

John x reader (“Remind me never to play this damn game with you again!”)

Dean x John x reader (“Are you really reading right now?”)

John x OC (“I shouldn’t have to tell you how dangerous that was!”)

John x OC (“You did this to get my attention and now you fully have it. Let’s hear it.”)

Gabriel x reader (“I don’t care when you go to bed, but do you have to wake me up in the middle of the night with your loud music?”)

Chuck x reader (“You forgot to say the Magic Words.”)

Sam x Dean x reader (“What are you running from?”)

Dean x reader (“Give them back.”)

Chuck x reader (“Don’t make me come get you.”)

Sam x reader (“You don’t scare me.”)

Gabriel x reader (“Move over!”)

Dean x Ben x reader (“Seriously, have you seen how old he’s gotten?”)

Castiel x reader (“That’s against the rules.”)

Crowley x reader (“When am I going to join your little game? Hm. Never.”)

Bobby x reader (“Could you stop throwin’ that damn ball against the house?”)

Gabriel x Chuck x reader (“Wanna build a tree fort?”)

Dean x reader (“Sorry, I can’t help you.”)

Dean x reader (“How long will this take?”)

Castiel x reader (“Oh? You want me to tickle you that bad?”)

Gabriel x Chuck x reader (“Now, let me watch the freaking movie in peace!”)

Dean x Sam (“You’re okay, Sammy.”)

Dean x reader (“I love you.”)

Dean x reader (”Don’t tell Sam?”)

#supernatural #masterpost #supernatural masterpost

[vansmaybeonthewall]

Monster

Masterlist

a/n: had part of it in the drafts and only had the will to finish and expand it now. should it stand alone or be continued, inquire within

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Burning.

Searing Pain.

The feeling of hopelessness.

The pain of being pushed to the brink.

She didn’t want to do it, she knew falling would only bring more pain. But if it got her away from her stupid brothers, then maybe it could be worth it.

Free falling until she hit the center of the country, creating shockwaves felt everywhere. Many thought of it as a sign of the Apocalypse, and maybe it was. No, not The Apocalypse, but one no one would see coming.

Hitting the Earth knocked the breath out of her vessel, but it remained intact. A crater that would puzzle the planet was left behind.

What fell from space and created a hole in the shape of a bird?

An angry archangel with broken wings.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hundreds of years later...

Murdering her brothers and sisters isn’t what Y/N planned for her future, but it’s what it came to be. After all, they were destroying her creations. The angels wouldn’t stop until every one of them was gone, and they were succeeding.

The Dark Angels appeared after Y/N hit the Earth all those years ago. An army of them soon emerged and a war was started.

A rogue archangel against Heaven.

Of course, she lost as Heaven was still under God’s rule. And it only made her angrier.

All that was left were three, the Queen of Dark Angels herself and two loyal followers. The others were slaughtered or turned into one of God’s angels. With every Dark Angel lost, the more hopelessness and despair she felt. The loneliness only grew.

“Mistress, I...I’ve come bearing bad news.”

“What is it, Lira.”

“Nathan and I were scouting the area per your request and the angels....they attacked before we even knew they were there. We tried to leave but the battle had already started. Nathan’s gone and soon I will be too.”

“Lira, what are you saying...” She turned to see Lira with her dark angel blade sticking out of her chest.

“Didn’t let them take my blade,” she laughed breathily, “but damn do they hurt like hell. Get it?”

“Lira!” Y/N caught her as she fell. 

“It’s okay, it isn’t your fault. I made this choice and I’m happy I did. I met someone who believed in me.”

“Don’t say-”

“This is goodbye Y/N, thank you...for everything.”

Her body fell limp. The last was gone. The angels had succeeded. Y/N was nothing once more. If she made more Dark Angels, it would only be a matter of time before Heaven found her. 

The wind picked up. A storm was brewing. Rain poured and lightning struck.

Y/N let out an agonizing scream and the Earth shook with it. 

She stood with Lira’s body in her arms, red eyes blazing, wings flared. 

“You want a fight. Well Dad you’re gonna get one.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Winchesters, 3 Months Later...

“What kind of supernatural bitch would cause all that? A demon Sam.”

“I’m telling you, it’s way too powerful to just be a couple of demons.”

“Well what else is it gonna be Sammy? Some rogue angel? Please.”

“That’s where you’re right Dean-o.”

The two whipped around to find Gabriel standing with Castiel and…Lucifer?

“What the hell! Why’d you bring him here!” Dean pointed at Lucifer who responded with an annoyed, “relax.”

“Relax? Relax!”

“Dean. Sam. If you would listen to them, we could stop what’s causing all of these problems.”

“Oh Cas, always the voice of reason,” Gabe jokes, “But he’s unfortunately right. We have a problem and it’s a big one.”

“Understatement of the century,” Lucifer mumbled.

“Anyways! This isn’t some demon or angel. It’s an archangel, and she’s pissed.”

“Woah woah woah. Back up. You’re saying you have a sister? And you just happen to bring her up now.” Dean asked.

“Well she wasn’t important until now,” Gabriel responded.

“I wouldn’t say that.”

“Well what would you want me to say Lucifer? That she was the best out of all of us? That she did good things for humanity? Sorry bro, she didn’t.”

“Yeah well-”

“Can the two of you stop and tell us what’s going on?” Sam intervened. 

“The one that’s causing these problems is our sister, who just so happens to be the youngest archangel. She couldn’t handle Dad loving humans more than her so she jumped from Heaven years after Lucifer was sent to the cage,” Gabriel began.

“She agreed with Lucifer?”

“Yes, unfortunately, she did.”

“Hey!”

“After she hit Earth, she started to create an army of new beings. She called them Dark Angels. Humans were corrupted by her views and grew wings and horns. Normal angel blades can’t kill them unless enough wounds are inflicted upon them or the blade is left in long enough. Only a Dark Angel’s blade can kill a Dark Angel. Heaven managed to get ahold of enough of them for a war and we won. Only a few remained and they were easily extinguished. The last one was killed three months ago.”

“When the destruction started.” Sam realized. Gabriel nodded. 

“That doesn’t explain why Lucifer is here,” Dean spoke.

“We agreed to stop Y/N together because it is the only way she might listen to us. Happy?” 

“Might?”

“Will you stop underestimating us? We have a plan in motion.”

“And what would that be? First of all, who is she really and why haven’t you said her name.”

“Because the bitch tabooed it.”

“Gabriel, don’t.”

“That’s what she is. She acts like some maniacal witch who can warp reality. Haven’t you seen Age of Ultron dude? Where do you think the Scarlet Witch came from? Huh? Inspired character remember? Even got the tragic backstory and accent down.”

“No, I don’t remember because if you can recall I was in a cage the last time you saw her!”

“Okay ladies relax,” Dean said.

“Tabooed? Like Harry Potter,” Sam asked

“Nerd.”

“Shut up Dean.”

“Anyone who speaks her Angel name is doomed. We don’t know how she did it, but we have lost many because of it,” Castiel explained, “Now we really must go over the plan if we want to prevent any more chaos.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Crash Site, middle of Kansas

The crater hadn’t changed much, no one had bothered it in the many years Y/N had been on Earth. It was said to be the mark of the Devil so many stayed away. 

But you’re no Devil Y/N, you’re weak. You’re a hopeless little girl with no family. Everyone you loved is gone.

“I thought I got rid of you.”

“Oh sweetheart, there’s no getting rid of me. I’m Despair, I’ll always be waiting for your depressive thoughts.” 

Y/N turned to see her worst creation. Despair first appeared after Y/N fell to Earth. Her feelings were strong enough to create something hurtful, but it wasn’t intentional. Despair took the form of a trustworthy guy, but he would only make your life worse. 

“I gotta hand it to you Y/N, you look better than when I last saw you. Still can’t fix those wings though, can you?”

“Leave me alone and nothing will happen to you.”

“That’s an empty threat if I’ve ever heard one. You’re weak and you know it. Your little Dark Angels gave you strength, but now there’s no one left. Should’ve stayed in Heaven.”

“Go away. That’s an order.”

“I don’t follow your stupid rules anymore Y/N. Remember, it was your mistake that I’m here. I only came into being because you thought following your brother was better. But he wasn’t on Earth, he was in the cage. And you were all alone. You were all alone in Heaven, alone as you fell, and alone now. That’s just how it’ll be…forever.”

“Stop!” Y/N fell to her knees. It was the truth and the truth only hurt. 

“If you can’t even listen to me, what made you think you could take on your brothers? They were always stronger than you Y/N!”

“Enough!” Her voice echoed and when she looked up, he was gone. She failed to notice the power that radiated from her yell. The red magic would go for miles and capture the attention of the Winchesters & co. It left her weak and allowed her wings to come into the plane of human sight. 

Like I told you, weak.

“I’m gonna go for you first and then teach Dad his lesson. I will not have you be that little devil on my shoulder.”

She flew away, back into hiding.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Abandoned warehouse, Kansas

“So you want us to pray to a rogue angel, an archangel, and hope she appears in the middle of the circle? That’s safe, very safe, and very thought out.” Dean said sarcastically. 

“In summary, yes,” Gabriel replied

“Just give us the paper.” Sam was exhausted from the arguing coming from his brother and the two other archangels. The plan was simple, call upon Y/N and ask for guidance. It was her purpose long ago, but it wasn’t forgotten.

“Harmonia, Archangel of Heaven, we are lost and we are in need of guidance.”

...

...

“Well, that was stupid.”

“I wouldn’t insult the one you’ve called upon Dean Winchester.”

Her voice echoed around the room. She wouldn’t appear to them just yet. I mean, it’s the Winchester’s for Dad’s sake, you can’t trust them.

“I don’t need to send any warnings. If you call and I find it in my interest, I’ll come. If you really needed my help, you would know that. What do you want?”

“Dude, Gabriel was right, she’s a bitch.”

“Dean!”

“Good job Dean, you gave us away!”

“I’m not the one talking!”

“Yeah, Gabriel.”

“Lucifer, don’t you start.”

Castiel, ever the voice of reason, called upon her again.

“Y/N, we just want to talk.”

“If you wanted to talk, you wouldn’t have set a trap with those bozos.”

A chorus of “Hey’s” came from the others. She stepped out from the shadows, but only enough for her wings to still be hidden in the dark.

“But I always did like you Castiel. We can talk as long as you don’t have any other tricks up your sleeve.”

“Y/N, you-“

“You look like you’ve been dunked in a pool and then rolled around in a pile of dirt.”

“I’m well aware of how I look, Gabriel.” 

Her clothes were tattered, her makeup smeared, and her hair was tangled and knotted. Sweat glistened on her forehead. The past few months had been rough, the stress of trying to destroy Despair was catching up to her. But most importantly, her wings were visible to everyone. Scarred, mangled, ruffled black feathers, some wounds slightly bleeding. They would be able to see just how weak she was if she took another step. 

“But I’m not here to discuss my appearance. What does the Scooby Gang want now?”

“Did she-

“We want to know what's been happening the past three months,” Cas interrupted Dean. 

“If you must know, I’ve been dealing with something and I am handling it. You won’t need to worry about it any longer.”

“That’s reassuring, thanks.”

“I wouldn’t say anything Gabriel, nor you Lucifer, nor any of you actually. All of you have destroyed something or hurt people at some point in your lives. So why does it matter when it's me?”

“Because people are dying Y/N!”

“That is not my fault Lucifer!”

But isn’t it?

“Oh, would you shut up already!” She yelled at the voice in her head. Of course, he would choose to speak to her now. To make her look crazy.

“If you don’t actually need my help, I have things to take care of. Goodbye Castiel, I wish you well. The rest of you can, well, you can just fuck off.”

“Y/N-”

“Don’t Castiel. I have enough to deal with as it is. I am sorry about the damage I have caused, but I didn’t do it on purpose. As hard as it will be you have to believe me.”

She stepped back into the shadows and prepared to leave when Lucifer spoke up. 

“How are your wings?”

“What?”

“You heard me. No angel can take that fall without a little damage.”

“It’s none of your business. We are not as close as we used to be and we are certainly not close enough for you to finally care about me.”

“Will you stop being elusive and shit? Just answer the question”

“No.”

“Oh come on, what’s wrong with you.”

Tension was building up. It was only a matter of time before Y/N’s temper blew. The more her supposed brothers antagonized her about the question, the more her energy grew. It all got to be too much. Her eyes glowed red and she turned, fully coming out of the shadows. 

“Enough!”

The crew was smacked against the walls of the warehouse. Y/N stood heaving, her marred wings out for everyone to see. Her maroon, almost black, wings had feathers missing, some even fell as she walked. Her wings were dirty and some places were matted with blood. Some spots where feathers were missing were scared, and feathers would no longer grow there. As they slowly stood back up, the gang took notice of this. Lucifer looked at her with a pang of great sadness, a sadness that no one thought he was capable of. Gabriel just stood in shock, not even he had seen such horror done to an angel. Castiel didn’t know what to think, maybe it was pity, but he didn’t know. Sam and Dean watched in a mixture of awe and a sort of guilt. Angel wings weren’t a thing they should be able to see, it almost felt wrong to look at them. Y/N noticed their eyes locked on her wings causing the feeling of insecurity to rise. It wasn’t something she felt before and it felt strange. Why did she care about how her wings looked to others? She tried to hide them behind her, but what could she do? She couldn’t hide them, so she gave up and let them droop. Her weakness was available for all to see. 

“Don’t look at me like that, don’t act as if you care.”

Gabriel and Lucifer almost looked hurt. I mean, they used to be as thick as thieves, brothers and sister. But they also turned their back on her. 

“You caused this. Everything that has led to this point had something to do with you two, so just stop.” 

Summoning the young archangel turned into something it wasn’t supposed to be. Instead of feeling a deep hatred for her, Dean and Sam kind of understood where she came from. The want for revenge and victory. The needy feeling of being seen by your family. 

“What happened?”

She turned to look at Sam and prepared to snap at him but was stopped by the pure curiosity she felt from him. 

“War. Family. They didn’t agree with me. An order was sent out to put an end to my creation, but it was for the wrong one. Not one of those who came for me cared about what happened to me. They stabbed and wounded whatever they could. My blood has been spilled on almost every continent of this sorry planet.”

“I’m sorry, but the wrong one?” Gabriel jumped into the conversation. 

“What are you not understanding Gabriel? My dark angels were never a threat to humanity, I made sure of that. They were misunderstood and saw me as a person who could bring hope. They were the first people in centuries to believe in me and see me not for my power, but for my nature. However, someone thought otherwise. When that order was put out, everything I had built went to shit. So much blood was spilled for the wrong reason. I have had to burn more bodies than every hunter combined. All of it, for nothing. You all missed the true villain of the story. Despair.”

“You can’t blame it all on your absence of hope Y/N.”

“I am not talking about me Gabriel, I am tal-”

“Talking about me.”

Despair cut her off.

“Howdy doo Scooby gang and magical folk, how ya doing?”

Despair stood on the catwalk of the warehouse, this time in the form of a teenage boy. His black suit almost cloaking him from those below. Y/N just sighed, she didn’t have much energy left to fight with him. 

Not again.

“Oh yes again, beautiful. Why would I leave you behind?”

“And just who are you,” Dean questioned.

“Oh jeez, you really aren’t that bright. I’m Despair, pleased to meet ya. Friendly foe to dear miss Harmonia.”

“For once in your life, shut up,” Y/N said.

“Awww, but mom that’s no fun.”

“Anyone care to explain? Anybody? Y/N?” Gabriel asked. 

“Y/N here, best mom award, accidentally created me. Beautiful story really. Crash landing in the middle of Kansas, screaming and crying. Then poof! I appear a grown-ass male in the middle of nowhere. I mean, why Kansas, what is this, Wizard of Oz?”

“Why are you here? And why are you a teenager?” Y/N questioned, tired of his shit. 

“For shits and giggles, duh. But oh, would you look at the time, I’ve got to skedaddle. Toodles!”

And then he was gone. Everyone now looked at Y/N. 

“That’s who should have been eradicated from this realm. Despair is one of the most aggravating beings to be known. Any hope that you have left is sucked out the moment he appears. He doesn’t make himself known as a person, but when he does, all you feel is emptiness and loneliness. He has more of his “fun” as an emotion.”

“So everywhere you’ve been, all this destruction, was him?” Sam asked.

“It was me trying to end him. I have had to deal with him for centuries. That is who Heaven should have rallied against. Not me and certainly not my creations. But it’s too late now, everything I had is gone and I will do anything in my power to get rid of him, even if it kills me.”

With that, Y/N warped outside. She noticed the sleek black car belonging to Sam and Dean and almost scoffed at their trademark. She moved to take a step when she was surrounded by a ring of fire.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she growled.

The Winchesters & co ran outside and found their second trap holding the angry archangel.

“Get me out of here.”

“Y/N if we-”

“Stop it! We are nothing! Nothing! Our little sibling bond means nothing to me anymore. I have more important things to do than have whatever conversation you want to have. So let me out!”

“We can help you if you-”

“Oh now you want to help. You couldn't have done that when I willingly jumped down to Earth. You couldn’t have helped me when everything I have done to help myself was literally being annihilated? I don’t want your help, I’ll kill him myself.”

“Well we don’t want to see you kill yourself in the process! What about that huh?” Gabriel screamed. 

The older archangels may not have seen her or spoken to her for what seemed like an eternity, but something inside of them still cared about their younger sister. That feeling would never go away. Y/N could only look at them with a blank face. 

“Well it’s too little too late for that brother,” she said sarcastically. 

The fire that burned around her went out. Sam had taken it upon himself to help her. 

“Dude, what’re you doing?”

“Dean, who are we to stop her?”

Y/N looked at him with suspicion. No one, especially a human she just met, had trusted her that fast for years. She slowly set her foot outside the circle and was a little surprised to find herself in one piece. 

“...Thanks…”

Sam nodded at her. Castiel noticed a strange feeling coming from Sam. There was a little bit of pity and some guilt, mostly sadness, but there was the tiniest feeling of attraction? Not even Dean had that feeling coming from him. Though, Castiel decided to say nothing about it. He instead chose to speak up about how weak Y/N appeared to be. 

“Y/N, are you alright?”

“When you find yourself in the middle of a Holy fire after talking to Despair, you’re not at your best.”

She then fell to her knees with a grunt, her wings wrapping around her body. Gabriel and Lucifer followed their sibling instincts and went to help Y/N. The amount of energy she released in the warehouse slowly caught up to her. She was fading in and out of consciousness now. Gabriel tried to take her into his arms, but with her wings in the plane of the living, it was difficult. It was best just to have her head lay in his lap. Y/N was muttering nonsense with eyes fluttering, a nonsense only her closest Dark Angels understood. She finally shut her eyes and let sleep take over. 

“Looks like we have a lot more work to do.”

And Gabriel was right.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Bunker, 2 days later

Y/N was set in a room with no wards set. Sam knew she wouldn’t receive that information well and she was in no state to defend herself against all of them if it came down to it. The rest of them gathered around the table discussing their next move, but they weren’t the only ones in the bunker. Jack was wandering around making his own little discoveries. 

“So what are we going to do about her? She’s not going to be very happy being here.”

“Oh Dean-o, that’s why we come up with a plan to get rid of whatever she’s trying to get rid of before she wakes up.”

“Because that is so easy Gabriel.”

“Lucifer, not a word. Not a word.”

And so began the discussion of what to do about Despair and Y/N’s seemingly endless sleep. Jack, however, had a different idea. He had been walking down the hallways looking for whatever was calling him. It felt like his father and Uncle Gabriel, but weaker. He followed it to a closed door. Whatever was behind it needed help. He opened the door to see a strange sleeping woman. Despite her unconscious state, he felt the call for help. He walked closer and closer until he found the edge of the bed. He reached his hand out and set it on her arm. His palm started to glow and it spread around Y/N’s body. And then…

She woke up. 

She sat up taking in her surroundings. She noticed Jack who still had his hand on her. 

“Hi”

“Hi?”

“I’m Jack. Who are you?”

Y/N almost hesitated, “Y/N. What are you? You…aren’t human.”

“I think you mean who…I’m Jack.”

Y/N realized she wouldn’t get anywhere with her questions. But what she did realize was how alive she felt. 

“What're you doing?”

“You were calling me. I could feel your pain, so I came to heal you.”

That’s when the light got a little brighter. It got so bright that Jack took a step back and covered his eyes. His hand was no longer on her, but the light continued to grow. Y/N stood up from the bed and looked at her arms. The light covered her body until Jack could no longer see her body beneath it. But underneath, Y/N started to heal. Her wings easily grew the feathers that were replaceable and her appearance was cleaner. No longer did she wear tattered clothes, nor were her wings visible to the human sight. They returned to the plane where only angels could see them. The light then dissipated. Y/N was still in awe, no being had that power to heal an archangel just like that. Maybe other angels or archangels and maybe…

But it couldn't be…could it?

“Who are you Jack?”

—-----------------------------------------------------------------

The plan was only getting worse. Any idea Dean had put on the table was met with disapproval from Lucifer with Gabriel mocking him. Sam sat in silence as they continued to argue. But then he heard laughter, and it wasn’t just Jack laughing. There was someone else. He left the room, no one taking immediate notice. He followed the voices to the room Y/N was in. He put his ear to the door only to hear Jack and Y/N?

He opened the door. The two inside looked up immediately. Jack was excited to see Sam, but Y/N was a little suspicious. 

“Hi Sam! Look who I found.”

That’s when Sam noticed Y/N’s new look.

“You’re confused,” Y/N broke the silence, “but so am I. Where are we?”

“A bunker, in Kansas, but uh, what happened?”

“I healed her!”

Y/N smiled at Jack, the pure joy he showed had a place in her once-dead heart. Sam, however, was still confused. 

“He healed you?”

“He did, yes. Why am I here?”

“Your brothers decided to bring you here for protection. They wanted to make sure you would end up okay.”

“That’s hard to believe,” she scoffed, “The only ones who have actually shown me they cared were you and Jack. Why should I believe you?”

“Because it’s the truth.”

Gabriel.

He stood in the doorway with his hands in his pocket, a shy smile on his face. He had left after he noticed Sam’s departure. He backed out of the Dean-Lucifer argument to watch in entertainment only to find Sam no longer in his seat. 

“You want me to believe you? You of all people Gabriel?”

He only sighed and gave her a sad look. 

“You just have to Y/N.”

This only made her angry. Her eyes started to glow red and a red mist started to form around her fingers. She was about to take a step forward when Sam blocked her from doing so. He had stood in front of her and put both hands on her shoulders. Her little magic show disappeared and tilted her head up to look at him. 

“You’re tall,” she bluntly stated. 

Sam let out a laugh which caused her to give a soft smile. Gabriel and Jack watched on opposite sides of the room. Jack watched in pure excitement while Gabriel’s sad look was replaced with a little suspicion. But that moment was interrupted by Dean and Lucifer sliding into view. Dean saw Jack in the corner while Sam held Y/N back. Lucifer saw Samuel Winchester sincerely touching his dear sister. 

“What the hell is going on?”

#supernatural #supernatural one shot #supernatural imagine #supernatural x reader #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #gabriel #lucifer #archangel #castiel #supernatural fic #jack kline #angel

[assbutt-in-the-garrison]

I have this sorta odd destiel fanfiction in my head that I have actually had dreams about and it involves a bit of memory erasure, time travel, incarnations, and Amara/the Darkness...

Remember when Amara kissed Dean and they both saw some sort of "vision" about their future and how they will always be "bonded"? And in 11x1 Amara said "we will always help each other, no matter where I am, no matter WHO I am, we will always be bound."

What IF. Amara IS Cas? And she doesn't know this at first of course. Like. Idk, I just have this fic idea stuck in my mind where the reason why that particular version of Castiel in that universe, unlike every other version of Cas in other universes, is the "famous spanner in the works" who constantly rebels and has to have their memory erased, the reason why Cas is so bonded to Dean and would do anything for him, is because originally that Cas was the Darkness. When Jack and Amara became balanced, they became aware of the reality of the multiverse and Amara knew she needed to give up her power to Jack and become something else and go back in time to the beginning in order to "fix" the storyline so that Chuck inevitably loses and to make sure Jack is born and Dean and Sam can truly be free. So she gives up her darkness powers to Jack and Jack and her go back in time to the beginning, secretly planting her as Castiel, a being of light now, an angel with no memory of being God's sister. And so THAT Cas always has a rebellious streak in them, defying the "natural order". And throughout all of history, that Cas rebels against unjust orders. When that Cas meets Dean, he can't help but feel completely connected to him profoundly. And no matter how many times his memory is wiped and controlled by Naomi, the bond between them cannot be broken. Then when Cas is brought back from the Empty by Jack, he is given his memory back of being Amara/the Darkness. And this is why Dean and Cas are so profoundly bonded. No matter who Cas is, no matter what body/vessel they're in, they will always love Dean.

The empty won't give up on dragging Cas back though because after all, he made a deal, and as an angel, Cas will always end up in the Empty, and even as the darkness, technically the empty was there first before the Darkness so it's technically stronger. The empty just hates Cas. It will still be summoned every time he experiences true happiness. And will go after Cas and his loved ones at any cost. So in order to protect heaven and his loved ones, including Dean, Jack and Cas decide that Cas's best and only option is to convert his grace into a human soul and be reborn as a human in a different, magicless universe, where the Empty cannot find him and even if it does find him, it's power would be inert in a magicless world. But Cas saves a little bit of his grace, bottling it in a little vial pendant, and tells Jack to give it to Dean to remember him by. When Dean gets to heaven, Jack tells him the truth and gives Dean the vial of grace that Dean wears as a necklace. And Dean is looking for Cas, now, travelling the multiverse in his TARDIS car (which Amara secretly created at some point so Dean would always have his freedom). So Dean is looking for his, now, human angel, stopping sometimes to work a case in some world or universe, save people, enact change in worlds still being wronged by Chuck's storylines. Even meets the Doctor at some point lol. But. He'll know when he's found Cas because the vial of Cas's grace will glow a vibrant purple when Cas is close by. And no matter if Cas is a man or woman, Dean will love them. Because that's the only destiny that Dean DOES believe in.

Anyway, I wish someone would write this lol. Idk how or where to begin lol. It's weird, I know and not everyone will like it but I think it'd make for an epic love story.

#spn #dean winchester #destiel #castiel #Amara #the darkness #destiel ficlet #destiel fan fiction #destiel fanfiction idea #my post

[mlobsters]

supernatural s14e1 stranger in a strange land (w. andrew dabb)

pre-ep recap being ac/dc shot down in flames much better fit than metallica's nothing else matters from 13x01 vibe-wise and matching the pace of the clips. good job, guys. and smooth segue to it being on in the car

s14e1 / the matrix

wtf jackles, what is this speaking voice/cadence. reminds me of keanu reeves?? usually when i make really out there sound associations, i'm a little high. but that is not the case today. he's acting more like an agent than neo, but getting the keanu vibes :p i can't think of what movie specifically i'm thinking of. the devil's advocate and constantine are the other two keanu movies i've seen a bunch, but i dunno

never good when i'm pulling a clip in the first few minutes 🥴 gonna be a 2-3 day watch i'm guessing.

also don't really understand the styling choices. i get that it helps make a big visual difference between michael and dean, but like. dude wasn't dressing like this old timey fancy man with a flat cap in the au world. is this 20s-ish? never seen peaky blinders but this seems kinda similar? reading about collar pins and bars now. lol

is this the grief beard i've heard about. well maintained, if so

MARY Sam, we’re gonna find him. Ketch is working that thing in London. Castiel is in Detroit. I know it’s been three weeks since Dean… Something will break. It has to. SAM Yeah. Yeah, you keep saying that.

so like why does sam need to be in charge and involved in this vampire thing with this bunker full of people? they were fully self organized and fighting before they came here. even if sam is de facto leader for whatever reason; delegate, my guy. no help to anyone if you're not sleeping. call jody in, i bet she could talk some sense into him. also vaguely funny that we're all Team Family Go! but the family i connect with the most for them is jody and her girls

CASTIEL Does any demon know where Dean Winchester is? KIPLING I’m sorry, did you just say you lost a Winchester? Because, one -- that’s… interesting. And, two, how is that you lost Dean? I thought the two of you were joined at the… [Kipling glances down in a suggestive way.] …you know, everything.

in a way i wish i could have watched this without any knowledge of fandom because my knee jerk response is, ew. because i just don't see anything between dean and cas, i have a hard time grasping they're even close, i've just tried to accept it because the show tells us all the time. but maybe i could have come around to it more if i didn't know about the screaming zeitgeist that is destiel. or maybe i'd have the same reaction, i don't know. but anyway perpetually disgruntled knowing that my reaction is always colored somewhat due to fandom. i try to watch objectively but i know my feelings on things outside the show color my feelings of stuff inside the show

oh, cas. what have you gotten yourself into this time.

mmmk

SISTER JO Why would he say “yes” to you? MICHAEL Love.

short and sweet

man i know jackles is trying to do something different but i do not enjoy the way he's speaking as michael. ok now i'm getting umm. brad pitt in interview with the vampire?? like when he's talking to what's his face. for the interview. lol. christian slater! kind of slow, flat fairly emotionless narration.

um. how in the world is nick's soul in his vessel? didn't crowley remake it or whatever? or did he not die at any point in the ... 7 years intervening between lucifer dumping him in s5 and getting popped back in during s12

from 12x13 CROWLEY I managed to pervert that spell. So your essence wasn't sent back to the cage, but instead, we found your discarded vessel a few years ago… repaired it, improved it, making it a fitting final home for the real you.

whatever, man. nothing makes sense to me anymore. also thinking about jimmy novak called being possessed by castiel like "being chained to a comet" - for all those years

NICK Ow. I don't get it. I don't understand how Lucifer could die and I could live. SAM Yeah, um… I think that maybe it's because the archangel blades were made to kill the archangel inside a-and not the person they, uh -- NICK Possesses and uses to almost end the world twice?

sure. SURE. that makes sense. not at all how anything else ever works on this show, but sure! i mean, i love mark pellegrino too but come on, guys.

SAM Stop saying that, please. MARY What? SAM “It's gonna be fine,” that everything's gonna be fine, we're gonna find Dean, and -- MARY We are. SAM You don't know that. Dean's gone, and we have no idea where he is or -- or if he's even still alive. You know, Michael could have… burned him out or… worse, and… MARY I know. I know he's out there, scared and alone. I know. I know he might never come back. Never think I don't know that. But -- I can't -- I have to think about the good, Sam, because, if I don't, I will drown in the bad. For Dean's sake, I can't do that. We can't do that.

that's fine and reasonable but it's also reasonable that sam doesn't want to hear a baseless placation.

jack getting a grandpa bobby now too apparently

completely zoning out on this demon monologuing. why did they bring the girl along who isn't a hunter. what happened to the devil's trap bullets? and couldn't they make the bullets made out of the angel blades they had on the au world? because with all the dead angels they surely must have a stockpile. wouldn't get this several minute action sequence with fake tension though so

SAM Enough! There will be no new King of Hell. Not today. Not ever. And if anybody wants the job, you can come through me. Understood? (breathing heavily) So, what's it gonna be?

lol okay

SAM It's the -- It's the magic egg that kicked Lucifer out of the President. I thought we could use it on Michael, but -- Ketch can't find it. So, that's another dead end, which is just awesome.

i'm glad the show remembered because i completely forgot about that thing. thanks for preemptively ruling it out

CASTIEL Sam, are you all right? SAM Yeah, I've been better. I've been worse. You? CASTIEL I'm -- I'm just sorry. I should never have gone to those demons. SAM Cass, I -- No, I-I-I don't blame you. I… Honestly, I-I wish I'd have thought of it first. If it meant finding Dean, I-I'd work with -- I'd do anything.

❤️ take what i can get. (still need to sleep, sammy)

MICHAEL Now, you -- you know exactly what you want. You don't pretend to want to help people or save the world. Your want is pure and simple and clean. And that's why you are worth saving. That's why we are going to work so well together. Because you -- you just want to eat.

LOL what. michael loves vampires!

!! omg lol i just reread my 13x23 with my whole "can't kill michael now that he's wearing dean" is that the whole reason we get pellegrino back as nick, so we can find out that archangel blades don't kill the vessel?? 😂

#supernatural #spnwatch #spn 14x01 #spnwhinge #spn clip #andrew dabb

[samdeancass]

Repressed Feelings

Requested on Wattpad

Pairing: Sam Winchester x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

Characters: Sam, Y/N, Dean

Description: Sam and Y/N have had feelings each other for a while and haven’t known how to admit it to the other, so when a hunt goes wrong and somebody nearly dies, these feelings come to light.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Y/N? I mean it’s your first hunt and it’s a nest of vampires. I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to sit this one out if you don’t feel ready.” 

You rolled your eyes and shook your head at Sams’ obvious chivalry. “Sam, I’ve been trained by the best hunters I know. I’m sure nothing’s gonna happen to me, and I’ll have you and Dean by my side.” 

Sam sighed and nodded, giving a forced smile. Truth is, he didn’t want you to come on the hunt because he didn’t want anything to happen to you. He just couldn’t find the words to tell you. Instead, he made a pact with himself to always be by your side during the hunt. 

You jumped off the bed, grabbed your bag and headed out the door. “You two comin’?” The brothers both grabbed their duffel bags and made their way out the door. “Dude if you just told her how you feel, maybe she’d think differently about this.” Sam raised his eyebrows. “Really, Dean? Even if I did, it wouldn’t make much of a difference. You know what she’s like.” 

___________________________________

Once you got to the building, you all tried to make sure to stick together. You knew that the brothers would be more on edge with it being your first hunt but you wanted to prove to them that you do have what it takes. 

“Right, these werewolves that we’re huntin’, they’re mean sons of bitches and will kill no matter what’s in their way. So make sure that you shoot them right in the heart, alright Y/N?” You gulped and nodded your head. You were beginning to become a little nervous and you knew that Sam could sense it.

“Y/N, you really don’t have to do this. Me and Dean can take care of this if you want to stay here.” You gave Sam a small smile. “I’m fine, Sammy. Anyway, why do you want me to stay behind all of a sudden? You’ve been wanting to get me out into the field since forever.” A red blush colored Sam’s cheeks as you stifled a giggle.

“N-nothing. I-I just thought you may want to stay behind if you were unsure of doing this.” You laughed and clapped Sam on the arm. “Don’t worry, I’m definitely doing this.” Walking in front of the brothers, you opened the door and held it open for them, tapping your foot impatiently when they were taking their time.  “That was your chance, Sam. Right there. Dumbass.” Sam shot a look at Dean before following him into the building. 

The inside was very dark, very much what you’d expect a werewolf home to look like. You all pulled out your flashlights and held your guns in the other hand. Dean led you throughout multiple rooms only to find nothing. Sam made sure to stay behind you so he knew you were protected from both sides. He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and his eyes widened. 

He pushed you forward into Dean, sending you both tumbling to the floor, whilst Sam let out an agonising scream. You jumped into action, grabbing your flashlight and gun before aiming and shooting the wolf right in the heart as Sam fell to the floor. 

You ran over to Sam and slid your legs underneath his body, your hands cradling his head. “What did you do that for, Sam?! You are so stupid!” Sam chuckled and shakily cradled your cheek with his hand. “I did it for you, Y/N. I love you and I couldn’t see you getting hurt.” 

You could feel his blood soaking into the material of your jeans from the large gash in his side and tears started to stream down your face. Dean came running towards you both, his eyes widening when he seen the blood. “Call Cas, get him here now!” He nodded. “Hang in there, Sammy. You’re gonna be alright.”

You turned your attention back to Sam who was looking up at you, smiling. “You are so beautiful, I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.” You shook your head and placed a finger to his lips. “Don’t speak, save your energy.” You moved a stray hair from his face, your fingers dancing across his skin. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear those words from you Sam, because I feel the same way. I never wanted to tell you in case you didn’t feel the same way. I just wish that it wouldn’t have come to this for us to find out.”

A flutter of wings sounded at the side of you and you immediately moved out of the way for Cas to heal Sam. “I love you, Sam.” You walked over to Dean and wrapped your arms around him, sighing into his chest. “You’re brother’s stupid.” He chuckled. “You only just figured that out?” 

A loud scream and bright light came from behind you. You slowly turned around and smiled widely when you seen Sam walking towards you. A weight fell from your chest and you ran towards him, jumping into his arms and kissing his lips.

“Never do that again, Sam. I mean it.” He looked into your eyes, tucked your hair behind your ears and kissed you. “I can’t promise that. I’m always going to do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

#sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester imagine #sam winchester fanfiction #dean winchester #supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction

[tasteslikevelvet]

thinkng about dean getting into yoga. like maybe its one of those things that sam is always nagging him about, a constant exchange of dean complaining about his back, his knees, his hips, just for sam to say, “you know i do yoga and i love it” just for dean to scoff everytime and roll his eyes. “you should do yoga” “get into yoga” “why dont you try stretching every once in a while” until dean doesnt even bother responding with more than a glare and an unexplainable frustration that sets his teeth on edge.

until one day cas sees dean favoring one side of his body when he walks and cas touches his fingers so softly to deans forearm and asks whats wrong, and dean says that his right leg is just a little tight. and cas looks him in the eyes and says “i know that it’s not something you’d typically be interested in, but yoga might be of help to you.” something is different when cas says it, less accusatory than sam’s suggestions. less like youre not doing enough to fix whats wrong with you and more like there are ways that you can feel better. so instead of brushing cas off, dean says “whats so good about yoga?” cas laughs and admits that hes not entirely sure because hes never done it, but that guided stretching and meditation has been used for years to help sync up the body and the mind, as well as loosen the joints. dean believes him. dean tries it.

dean hates it. no way in hell is he trying this out in public, so he takes cas’s suggestion of an at home video and with the power of modern day technology he finds himself on a youtube page of a woman named adriene who must be doing something right cuz she has almost 12 million subscribers. shes nice, pretty, but as soon as she says the words “downward dog” deans muttering “nope- not happening, not happening”

thats it. he gave it a shot. he doesnt tell sam and he ignores each new slightly condescending suggestion that sam throws his way. but theres something about it he cant shake, no matter how stupid he’d felt alone in his bedroom with his big chunky headphones on. until somehow he ends up on the video again. he only gets halfway through before his tight muscles protest extremely enough that he calls it quits only ten minutes in. but he tries again, again, the same exact video until he practcally has adriene’s introduction speech memorized. it gets easier every time, and when it doesnt, or when he cant, or when it hurts, he just breathes instead and watches as adriene does all the hard work for him. says things like “do this lovingly” and “show up however you show up, no worries. just connect to your breath with me.” its nice. and one day hes in child’s pose (or as close as he can get with how tight his hips are) and it feels good, and his eyes are closed, and he doesnt hear the knock on his door through the padding of his headphones- just looks over and sees cas standing there. deans too damn relaxed to do anything but blink at him.

cas smiles very kindly. “how is it?” and dean just says “im doing yoga with adriene” and realized he doesn’t mean Yoga With Adriene but yoga with adriene, not that cas would know the difference anyway. cas stoops all the way down in an impressive bend to kiss the back of deans bowed head over his hair and says “tell adriene i say hello” before walking back out of the room and closing the door softly behind him, leaving dean in privacy.

dean closes his eyes. in his ears he hears “i lovingly invite you to stay here and experience this stretch, even when you want to fidget or feel unsure.” so dean stays.

#spn ficlet #essentially lmaoooo my b #destiel ficlet

[castielmacleod]

Desti3l critic:

One of the things I dislike most about the way fans treat this ship is that... it is always about Dean. The way Dean is focused on and portrayed rather than it being about Cas himself. It is usually about how Castiel gives something to Dean and Dean gets the focused POV, Castiel is just... there to be an emotional support. And honestly the way it tracks with the show's portrayal of things and the way the protagonist centered POV plays out and the way the show itself does the same thing with Castiel's character.... is just simply sad.

NO FOR REAL THOUGH.. even when I was more tolerant of fanon D*stiel this ALWAYS bothered the shite out of me.

Because for 99% of these people D*stiel literally IS about Dean, ultimately, and always has been. The whole narrative that they find so compelling is about the ~faithless man~ saved from damnation by a literal angel. It’s about Dean getting to have this literal angel look at him and all his flaws and save him and love him anyway because that’s what Dean needs. Like it literally is about Dean fans wanting someone to come and therapise Dean at any cost and fix him with his (fetishised) gay love and it’s infuriating. Even when they do try to talk from Cas’ pov it’s still Dean centric, because they say Dean specifically is the only reason Cas rebelled and that Cas could only find contentment in life if Dean loved him back, or it’s discussion of Cas doing xyz sacrificial thing for Dean and never any of Cas’ other actions that are unrelated to Dean. No matter which angle they come from it always seems to be about what Cas does for Dean. I’m sure (sarcastic) that has nothing to do with the fact that Dean does absolutely nothing for Cas, ever 🥴

Like above all D*stiel has to be about Dean because if it was actually about Cas then it would have to be about how Dean is categorically Cas’ abuser who literally created or otherwise exacerbated so many of Cas’ severe psychological issues, and heIIers don’t want to confront or even acknowledge that because that contradicts the “secret good” spn that they hallucinate over the actual episodes (that they then get mad at other people for not seeing 😭)

#Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #Tw abuse mention #Ask

[norahastuff]

There's a lot to love about season 8, but what always gets me is how poetic it is. Dean spends the whole season trying so fucking hard to get Cas to stay with him. He spends a year tearing Purgatory apart trying to find him, insists he's not gonna go back to Earth without him, and when that doesn't pan out, changes his own memory of what happened rather than believe Cas chose not to go with him. Not to mention, a few eps later, he's literally bruised and beaten on his knees in front of Cas, clinging to his hand and begging for Cas to see him, to come back to him because he needs him. And Cas does come back. But he doesn't stay.

Cas, on the other hand, feels so guilty about everything he did to Heaven, and is so very desperate to fix it in any way that's available to him. At the same time, he's being fucked with, forced to cause even more pain to his brethren, well all he really wants to do is heal babies and save sweet adorable angels. The most important thing in Cas' life, the thing he gave up everything for and dedicated his life to is free will, and his is being ripped away from him. It's so incredibly sad, but after he breaks out of it, I think he feels even more responsibility to Heaven. Things are even worse up there than he thought, and with someone like Naomi in charge, both Heaven and Earth could be facing even more pain and destruction if she's given free reign to carry out her machinations. Is it any wonder when the famed Metatron comes in like a lost messiah and says he has a plan to fix it all, that Cas goes along with it? I mean, Metatron knows exactly what to say to manipulate Cas:

They can fix Heaven.

By locking up Heaven the fighting won't spill over onto Earth and affect humans.

Cas doesn't have to lead or make any decisions. He just needs to be a soldier, a warrior.

Anyway, all that culminates in a finale where Cas believes it's his responsibility to fix Heaven, and Dean finally having the realisation that Cas is an angel. He doesn't feel things the way a human does. He has other priorities, and no matter how hard Dean tries, he's not going to be able to force Cas to stay with him. E.T.'s always going to go home.

Only for Cas to have his grace taken for him, be sent back to Earth, and for the first time to truly understand human feelings without the filter of his grace or angelic sensibilities. Wonder if he's going to have any epiphanies about his priorities and what and who he truly wants out of life because of it?

#god the s8 finale is so good #and I think human Cas is one of the most important arcs on the show #my spn thoughts #destiel #spn meta #8x23 #spn

[spncompostheap]

These Days

(Inspired by Misha Collins’s poem of the same title)

Cas Novak meets Dean Winchester two weeks after his sixth birthday in first grade. Having never been terribly good at making friends, Seeing Dean on the first day of school inspires Cas to try getting it right that much harder this time. Although their friendship starts off a bit rocky due to Dean’s general unfriendliness, Cas quickly learns that Dean’s whole tough guy routine is mostly just a cover for his overwhelming shyness. 

One day during lunchtime, when Cas tracks Dean down on the playground, he is unsurprised to find the other boy sitting alone. With a rehearsed monologue playing inside his head, Cas musters up the courage to approach Dean, hoping to convince him why they should be friends.

After reciting the words under his breath a few more times, he approaches Dean. He almost misses what the other boy is doing until they're suddenly face to face.

“Hello, Dean, I’m Cas Novak and-”

When Cas looks up to greet his potential new friend, his broad smile fades quickly upon realizing that Dean is elbow-deep in the trash can, trying to snag someone else's sandwich. Dean ducks his head, clearly embarrassed, until Cas offers his lunch box as an alternative.

“Here, have mine,” Cas says.

“Dad always packs me too much, anyway. Or at least that's why Mom says I’m getting so fat-”

“You're not fat, Cas,” Dean says, his voice unexpectedly gentle as he peeks inside Cas’s lunch box.

“But this is a lot of food… Could we maybe share it?”

“Certainly, Dean,” Cas says, scooting up close next to the other boy.

Together, they share peanut butter fluff sandwiches and Capri Suns and talk about comic books for the rest of recess. From that day on, Cas brings food for himself and Dean to share every day, and before long, the two have become inseparable.

***

Third grade is challenging for Cas when his parents’ marriage abruptly falls apart without warning. By mid-November, the yelling, screaming, and slamming of doors gets so intense that Cas is beside himself over how to cope. Sneaking around the kitchen at night, Cas steals as much food as he can carry. Eating becomes the only thing that helps him feel more in control, calming some of his inner chaos, if only temporarily. 

For the next few months, whenever his parents' arguing becomes too loud, Cas goes on autopilot, and his stomach becomes a black hole until he’s so full that his worries evaporate. Soon, Cas’s mindless eating becomes a nightly occurrence. But even when whole loaves of bread, jugs of milk, and cereal boxes go missing overnight, no one seems the wiser. 

By Springtime, everyone in Mr. MacLeod’s class notices how chubby Cas is getting and feels the need to point it out to him. Dean is the only one who focuses on the more subtle changes in his friend's behavior, like how uncharacteristically quiet, sad, and withdrawn he’s become. 

As time passes, Dean becomes increasingly determined to help his friend and invites Cas over to his house after school. The two spend hours watching movies, playing video games, and enjoying each other's company. Dean is relieved that Cas doesn't comment about his small, dingy apartment or complain about his younger brother Sammy constantly being underfoot. Dean is relieved when he sees Cas starting to relax a little until John comes home early and ruins everything.

"Jesus, Dean, can’t you do any better than hanging out with this fat loser all the time?" John slurs, hovering in the doorway and reeking of alcohol.

Biting down hard on his lower lip, Dean feels caught in the middle. While he wants to defend Cas, he's also keenly aware that any kind of talking back will make matters worse. He knows firsthand what a mean drunk John can be. 

Cas looks down and remains silent, but Dean can see the hurt in his eyes. Slowly standing up, Dean feels a surge of anger and wants to say something - anything that might make Cas feel safe again. Instead of lashing out, Dean turns to Cas and watches him closely. At the first sign of tears, Dean realizes there's nothing he can even do because the damage is already done.

After a tense moment, John grumbles something unintelligible and retreats to his room, leaving Dean and Cas alone once more. Dean sighs, feeling a mix of frustration and sadness. He hates seeing Cas treated this way, especially in his own home. Turning to Cas, he offers an apologetic look.

"I'm really sorry about that, Cas," Dean says softly. 

"It's okay, Dean. I'm used to it. My mom says the same kind of things all the time." 

They stop hanging out as much after the incident with John, but Dean remains fiercely protective of Cas at school. It becomes widely known all across the playground that anyone caught teasing Cas about anything will have to deal with Dean personally.

***

Although his parents officially separate at the end of fifth grade, Cas’s appetite only gains momentum over the summer. Snacking almost non-stop from June through August, Cas is officially the biggest kid in middle school by the time fall hits. 

On the first day of sixth grade, Cas gets bullied in the cafeteria about his ever-expanding waistline.

"Hey, piggy-piggy, did you eat the entire lunch lady today?" Gordon Walker says, oinking and grunting in Cas’s direction.

Cas tries to brush it off, but Gordon physically blocks his path, so Cas can’t walk away. 

"He’s almost too fat to function," Kubrick Jones says, grinning like an idiot while all the other kids giggle.

Feeling embarrassed, Cas retreats to the boy’s bathroom to be alone. Dean notices his absence almost immediately and goes looking for him. When Dean finds him, Cas has locked himself inside a bathroom stall and is already bordering on inconsolable.

"Please, tell me what's wrong?" Dean asks, leaning in close enough that their foreheads touch.

"Everyone’s making fun of me, Dean," Cas says softly, averting his eyes to tug down the hem of his t-shirt self-consciously.

"You can’t let them get to you like that, man. They're all just assholes who thrive on being as mean as possible," Dean says, wrapping an arm around his friend.

"And besides, I like your new look; you're kind of turning into a tank," Dean says, smiling. 

"I mean it, seriously, Cas. You're so damn sturdy these days, I bet nothing can stop you."

Cas looks up, surprised by Dean’s words. He had always believed that his weight made him weak, but hearing Dean's reframing of things fills him with a newfound sense of empowerment.

"You really think so?" Cas asks, the hint of a smile flickering across his face.

"I know so," Dean says, pulling Cas into a quick hug.

"You're my best friend, and I wouldn't want you any other way."

Cas feels way more confident in his skin for the rest of that year. He doesn't let the bullies' words bring him down anymore, and he even occasionally starts standing up for himself.

***

Once his parent’s divorce is finalized in eighth grade, Cas's dad, Chuck, attempts to reconnect with him using fast food, baked goods, and candy to win his son's affection. Always encouraging Cas to overindulge whenever they spend time together, what begins as a novelty quickly loses its appeal. 

One day after school, Chuck drives them both to an all-you-can-eat buffet. Cas hesitates, getting out of the car, remembering how much he’s already eaten, but doesn’t want to disappoint his dad. Looping around the restaurant, Cas loads up his tray with a mountain of french fries, chicken strips, and miniature desserts. But the moment he sits down beside his father, Chuck's mood changes as he looks over at his son and frowns.

"Don't tell your mother I let you pig out so much, okay? She won't let me hear the end of it about how fat you're getting," Chuck says.

Cas feels a pang of hurt inside his chest; he already knows he’s overweight without Dad reminding him. He just wants to enjoy this time together without being made to feel guilty about something beyond his control.

"Sure thing," Cas says while shoveling food into his mouth.

"Have you ever considered going out for any sports, Cas?" Chuck asks, his tone filled with misguided concern.

"Sports?" Cas asks, tilting his head to the side out of confusion.

"Yeah, you know, like football, basketball, soccer? You'd probably be pretty good at it once if you slimmed down a bit.” Chuck suggests.

"Umm, I guess so," Cas mumbles, looking down at his suddenly empty plate. Despite feeling uncomfortably full and the painful sensation of elastic biting into his waist, Cas forces himself to stand. Because maybe just one more serving, regardless of what will distract him from the unpleasantness of their conversation.

As they finish their meal and leave the restaurant, Chuck nods, pleased with himself for offering his son such valuable advice. Meanwhile, Cas can't shake off the feeling that he failed to meet expectations again. Longing for a simple way to make his dad proud that's not contingent on his physical appearance.

***

Cas becomes increasingly fixated on his size and appearance. He spends numerous afternoons at the library, immersing himself in research about nutrition, diet, and weight loss, desperately hoping to uncover some way to shrink himself just enough to impress his dad. Unfortunately, the more Cas learns, the more overwhelmed and discouraged he becomes. Finally, the information overload of conflicting advice leaves him spiraling into a destructive cycle of binge eating and shame. 

Cas surrenders to his cravings without restraint, seeking the comfort only food can provide. Before long, he’s outgrown most of his wardrobe, and seeing his own reflection fills him with dread. The person staring back at him has become an unrecognizable stranger, constantly reminding him of his failures and everything he hates about himself. As his body continues to expand without consent, Cas’s self-esteem suffers a devastating blow. Consumed by a profound sadness and despair, he withdraws completely, unable to face his dad, let alone anyone else.

Despite all of this, Dean refuses to give up on their friendship. When Cas stops answering his calls, Dean knows something is wrong. So, armed with the spare house key given to him for emergencies, he takes matters into his own hands. Showing up uninvited, Dean forces his way into Cas’s personal space. Ignoring how much his friend has changed, Dean snuggles beside Cas under the covers of his bed. They lay together in the darkness, not saying a word, every day after school for a week.

Eventually, when Cas does find his voice enough to speak, Dean listens without judgment, trying to understand the depths of his friends' grief. After another week of hiding in bed, Dean gently suggests they go outside. 

“Because it’s springtime out there, Cas and all the flowers and birds are doing their thing, and I know how much you used to enjoy it.”

"I don't know, Dean,” Cas says, unsure if he's ready to face the outside world again.

Dean looks at Cas reassuringly and says, "Hey man, I get it. Shit can be scary, but I'll be right there with you. Who knows, maybe trying something new will make you feel better."

After a moment of contemplation, Cas nods slowly. "Okay, but please understand if I need to return inside."

With Dean by his side, Cas finds the strength to leave his room and go for short walks outside. Cas notices a subtle change in his mood with each step they take. The fresh air and gentle movement help him feel a little better each day. 

#supernatural fanfiction #destiel #deancas #wip #tw disordered eating #tw: implied/ referenced alcohol abuse/ alcoholism #dean winchester #cas novak #childhood friends

[hekate1308]

Prompt: Do you even know what this means

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Destiel

It doesn’t matter what Sam says – and he even seems to have learned his lesson in that regard, since he thankfully hasn’t complained about Dean’s life choices for months now, although that might have to do with his new girlfriend Sarah – Dean loves his little antique book shop, and he has never regretted that he bought it on a whim back when he was eighteen and Mr. Bythell wanted to retire.

Yes, some clients can be a handful, and he has several opinions about Amazon that he knows to keep to himself lest they get back to them and he gets buried under the power of Jeff Bezos, but still. There are a lot of wonderful moments when he finds a rare book or can help someone who has been desperately seeking for a title or just needs a break from the stress of every day life. It might be frustrating that he can’t afford a full-time employee, but Charlie and Gilda are always happy to help out, and students like Kevin are happy to take any summer job that presents itself.

And so, he has no plans of changing things. He lives his life, he sells and buys books, there are game nights with Charlie and Gilda and Andrea and Benny and Crowley, when he can get his friend to admit he is actually having fun during those, and everything’s fine.

And then things change, although not in the way he would have assumed if he had expected them to.

Because today the door bell rings out and a new customer comes in. Now, that’s nothing new in and out of itself, but the guy is – to be perfectly frank – hot.

And he says that as someone who has had his fun, if you know what he means.

Still.

“Hey” he greets him, strolling towards him. “Can I help?”

He blinks at him, looking ever so slightly confused and rumpled and oh God, Dean is in trouble. “I just moved here” he then informs him abruptly. “I’m Castiel Novak.”

“Like the angel?” he asks, only learning later he’s the only one who’s ever reacted that way.

Castiel blinks at him again and Dean holds out his hand. “Dean Winchester.”

Two months later

“You should try and do more with the internet.”

Apart from the fact that Cas just pronounced the word as if he has never heard of wi-fi, Dean can’t help but shake his head. “We all know how that would end.”

“I don’t mean just an online-shop. I was thinking about a book subscription service – they are all the range, these days. Maybe something like a mystery box, the sort of thing people unbox on YouTube. People would subscribe and you could choose the books.”

So Cas, who lives in a house where the electricity barely works, just asked him to – “Do you even know what this means?” he asks because he can’t help it – is he really supposed to believe that someone who dresses like Columbo has any idea what the internet is?

“I do sell my honey online” Cas says, sounding almost disappointed, and he’s quick to do damage control.

“Sorry, man. It’s not a bad idea – not a bad idea at all – just – do you think there’d even be a market for it?”

“I don’t see why not” Cas shrugs. “You still sell books, don’t you, even though everyone seems to think they are going out of style, as they say” oh God he’s actually doing quoty fingers and it looks much much cuter than it has any right to “so why should it not work when you develop your own way of doing so in the Internet?”

It might just work, Dean reflects. And really, what has he got to lose? Yes, his bookshop, but he’s always on the brink of doing that anyway…

“Alright” he decides, “Any ideas?”

Cas looks at him and they are back at the staring one another thing, great.

Yet he can’t bring himself to mind too much.

Three years later

“Cas are you smuggling books about bees into the boxes again?”

“They are really interesting! Remember, we got several emails about them just last month…”

He can’t help but admit that, so he kisses his husband instead of saying anything. “Fine” he announces, drawing back, “but next month I get to pick the theme.”

“It’s going to be old-timers” Cas grumbles.

“Are you really going to tell me that I only have one topic of interest?”

Cas looks so guilty that Dean just has to kiss him again. “Hey, look, as long as the customers don’t mind, and they don’t seem to…”

This time when they separate, Cas is smiling at him and Dean – with the roof leaking again, a customer having tried to steal several books yesterday, and Crowley and his mother once more at odds – has never felt more blessed in his life.

#fictober23 #spn #my writings #destiel #castiel #dean winchester