#another thing that will probably get changed later

[overseer-picard]

I know we beat the "seasons are only 10 episodes now and it sucks" dead horse on the daily but another thing we lost when we stopped making the 24 episode 1 hour drama was the freedom to be narratively risky.

Star Trek, The X Files, and Doctor Who are great examples of this since they had the sandbox of Sci-Fi to play with. There are so many amazing, mind bending, soul stretching episodes that were teetering on the edge of flop or flying and through bold writing they didn't just fly but catapulted into the stratosphere of iconic. These episodes changed expectations and genre boundaries of what Sci-Fi could be for years to come.

We don't get episodes like this anymore because these new shows cannot afford the risk of a flop. The weekly episodic story structure that was once the foundation of television has been abandoned by Hollywood. The beautiful thing about this "simplistic" structure is that it provides a narrative safety net. You can take a risk and afford the miss because you can have a clean slate next week. You can't do that with continual narrative structures where only one story is being told over ten episodes (note to add: both structures are valuable, but total abandonment of one in favor of the other is detrimental).

These production companies gleefully hold the metaphorical gun of cancellation to the writer's heads and this actively ensures that stories are as safe as possible. This is creatively devastating, and ironically, guarantees catastrophic failure of shows. Safety is a bland cage.

Of course, the production think-tanks can't possibly take responsibility for their suffocating creative control so they blame the audiences for *checks notes* being on their phones too much, not subscribing enough, paying too little for ads, being too vocal online, not being vocal enough, being too demanding, being too liberal, being too conservative, whatever it takes to say "these failures are not our fault, you're just bad audiences".

Now, there are the episodes that did flop, but they flopped so spectacularly that we have entire days celebrating them decades later. These episodes took massive risks and instead of trying to back away from that creative intensity, these writers-of-old stepped up to bat, acknowledged they probably didn't have the screen-time to truly flesh out these concepts but by God they were going to try, and then hit so hard they shattered the bat. Sure they lost the game, but wow, what a thing to witness.

When I invariably get asked what my least favorite episodes of Star Trek are, I can't even remember because a "bad" episode to me is one that's simply forgettable.

There is no greater crime in the realm of artistic creation than being aesthetically beige and mind numbingly forgettable and yet for the past 15 years 8 out of 10 productions seem to be repeat offenders of exactly this.

#star trek tos #star trek the next generation #star trek ds9 #doctor who #txf #television #analysis #just some thoughts

[midnightsxblue]

VIRGINITY (PART TWO)

carl grimes x fem!reader

tags: p in v sex, unprotected sex (don’t recommend yall)

masterlist here!

read part one here!

─── ─── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ─── ───

The day you lost your virginity, everything seemed so…weird. Rick and Michonne had planned to go on a run for a couple of days and the two of you were left with Judith. You’d both asked for advice from Glenn and Maggie and while you got some pretty good advice, Carl got an awkward conversation and a condom.

This was your chance. That morning, you and Carl woke up early to say goodbye to them. “The two of you are gonna be here with Judith, okay? I have Daryl sort of keepin an eye on you so behave.” Rick tells you, packing some cans of food from the pantry into his bag. You look to Carl with sort of an annoyed look. He returns the same.

“Understand?” You both turn to Rick and nod. “Yeah we got it.” Carl replies. Now you had to figure out a way to get Daryl off your back as well. “I trust ‘em.” Michonne approaches from behind you, putting her hand on your shoulder while giving you a smile. You smile at her back, knowing you’re kinda lying to her. But you’re a horny teenager. You gotta do what you gotta do.

“Well…I’m sure they appreciate that. We gotta go.” Rick tells Michonne, zipping up his bag and throwing it over his shoulder. He makes his way through the house, the rest of you following after. You give them their hugs and say goodbye. Once the door slams shut, Judith starts crying. Screaming at the top of her fucking lungs.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” You hold your head in your hands, unprepared for the headache about to overtake your brain. “Hey, don’t be stressed. We can use this to our advantage.” Carl smiles and picks up Judith as she sobbed, also grabbing a couple toys before walking out the front door. You watch him walk all the way over to the armory to hand her off to Olivia.

When he disappeared into the faraway house, you turned around to find something to do. When you do turn around, you’re met with Daryl. “Jesus what the fuck!” You practically jump back, Daryl just looks at you like you’re crazy. “Don’t do that, holy shit- where did you come from!?” You put your hand over your heart and try your best to catch your breath. “The back door.” He just stares at you till you’re done. You finally catch your breath.

“Do I seriously need to watch over the two of ya or can I go work on my bike?” He asks, you sort of hesitate for some odd reason, you felt bad for lying. “We’ll be fine. Probably gonna make some soup or something and I might go to the range later. I dunno what he’ll do, probably clean his gun.” You shock yourself with how elaborate that lie was. He nods. “Okay. I’ll see ya.” He made his way out the front door.

─── ⋆⋅ ꩜ ⋅⋆ ───

A little later, Carl came back and met with you in your guys’ room where you were changing. He closed the door behind him and you turn around to smile at him, your shirt sliding off your arms. “Whatcha doing?” You ask with an endearing smile. He walks a bit closer. “Looking at you.” You giggle at his response. “You mean watching me change? That’s a bit perverted don’t you think?” You rummage through your closet for another shirt.

“I don’t think so.” He slowly comes up behind you, sliding his hands over your waist. He lodges his face into the crook of your neck where begins to plant harsh kisses. “Stop looking.” He tells you, lowering your arms from the clothes you had in your hand. You turn to face him and he smiles once you do. “You’re so pretty.” He puts his hand up to hold your cheek while he pulls you in for another kiss. This one was soft, the kind of kiss that really meant something. A feeling in your stomach told you things would only get better from here.

The kisses continue, only getting more intense and eventually his tongue slips into your mouth. You let out a small moan and you can feel him smile at that as he kissed you even more. You feel him pull you a little and you follow, your mouths still intertwined. He quickly spins you and plops you on the bed. He seemed confident on the outside, little did you know he was extremely nervous. You sit back with your arms propping you up and he leans in to kiss you again, his hands going straight to the buttons of your jeans. It’s quickly unbuttoned and he starts to tug them off you, standing to discard his own shirt as well.

Looking at him like this drives you insane. His messy hair, swollen lips, and the very obvious boner confined by his jeans. You were both scared and excited. Carl on the other hand was just really fucking horny. He got on the bed above you, one of his knees between your legs rutting against your clothed cunt. You let out yet another small moan and this prompts him to pull away and reach around to your back to unfasten your bra. Or try at least.

He was new to this, you can’t blame him. He fiddles with the clasp in a frustrated manner. “I just wanna see you.” He frowns, upset at himself for not being able to successfully take your bra off. You look at him with a sly smile. He shuts his eyes and rests his forehead on yours, his hand freezing in place as he accepted defeat. “Could you help me please?” He has a defeated tone and you laugh, undoing the clasp of your bra, letting it slide down your arms. While you did so, he worked on undressing you completely and then you waited for him to undress himself.

You’d palmed him once, you knew he wasn’t small but christ. Now you were definitely nervous. He smiled at you, basking in your beauty before leaning down to kiss a trail all the way from your stomach, up to your chest, to your neck. He was so unbelievably happy. He leaned back up to kiss you some more, his hand wandering down to your thigh, pulling it up. Your other thigh moves up instinctively and he pulls away to look down to actually do this.

He holds your legs at the back of your knees while guides himself to where he believes is the right spot. Glenn was a fucking liar. He has no idea what he’s doing. Maggie was right. Jesus this was so awkward. “Um…i-is this right or-” He stutters hoping you’d know how to guide him. You did, you helped him but not without accidentally sliding his tip against your clit, extracting a sharp moan from the both of you. Once he found your hole, he looked at you before slowly pushing into you.

Your mouth drops slightly at the feeling, his eyebrows furrow in pleasure. “This okay?” He asked quietly, stopping to hear your response. “Mhm s’fine just keep going slow.” He nodded and kept pushing, eventually bottoming out. He was breathing heavily, and you were too but he seemed to be on another planet. “A-are you okay?” You sort of giggle. His eyes are shut and he nods. “Just really tight that’s all.” He says breathlessly, gripping your thighs like he was never gonna let go. “Mkay. you can start moving if-if you’re ready.”

Well he’s been ready. He begins to slowly stroke in and out of you, he opens his eyes and leans down to kiss you. You moan into his mouth and you wrap your arms around him. He props himself up to hover over you, still pressing his length into your now, sopping heat. He leans his head back into your neck, moaning against your skin while you leave indents on his back from your nails. “You’re so good, so warm n wet. l-love you s-so much. Please.” He rambled, not even sure why he was saying please.

You could only moan in response, muttering a small “I love you too”back. He started to thrust a bit faster, his pace only increasing. It got to the point where you couldn’t even speak. You could tell he was close to cumming, you were too. Everything felt so good, his affection was only making it ten times better. He was so sweet with you, he really wanted you to feel good and not just him. You were glad he was the one taking your virginity.

“Carl-f-fuck I’m gonna cum.” You tell him, your nails digging into his skin deeper than before which causes him to groan. “Mhm me too.” His voice sounds somewhat strained. You clench around him before cumming all over his cock, him following soon after. He bottoms out inside of you one last time, hitting your g-spot perfectly, causing you to both moan loudly.

He smiles satisfactorily, pulling you into his embrace while he breathes heavily. “You’re so perfect.” He presses a kiss to your jaw and smiles against your skin. “You are. I feel so good.” You say basically astounded, reaching your hand up to rest in his hair. You spend a moment, just breathing and enjoying the afterglow.

Suddenly, Carl pulls away from your neck, and looks up as if he had heard something. You eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“What is it?”

“We forgot the condom.”

─── ─── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─── ─── ───

a/n: ok cuz i’m scared and nervous to post this but imma do it anyway THIS WAS MY FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT i hope it’s okayyy i feel like it was so sped up and im mad about it but let’s ignore that 0-0 hope you like ittttttttttt (im so scared right now you shut up)

ppl to tag: @zomb-1-egutzz

(sorry if u didn’t wanna be tagged for this LMAO)

#carl grimes #twd #the walking dead #carl grimes twd #carl grimes fanfiction #carl grimes fluff #carl grimes x reader #carl grimes x fem!reader #carl grimes x y/n #carl grimes the walking dead #carl grimes smut #the walking dead carl #twd carl

[larluce]

Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha , @curiously-lazy , @ harriettesthings This is not one of your requests, but it's important I swear!

LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17

In "La morte of Arthur"

Merlin and Arthur walking side by side and some Knights behind them hunting in the woods.

Merlin: (feeling nauseous and still in pain after they killed a deer for the third time)

Arthur: (asks probably for the million time, very concerned) Are you sure you are alright?

Merlin: (nods) Just a bit of a headache, it'll pass (gives him the spear)

Arthur: (not quiet believing him, but lets the matter be for now and pays attention to his sorroundings again)

Questing Beast: (roars from afar)

Merlin: (recognising it, whisper yells alarmed) Arthur!

Arthur: (recognises it too) We have to go.

Knight 1: But it could be a boar, sire!

Arthur: Is not a boar.

Questing Beast: (appears and roars louder)

Arthur: (shouts) Run! Now! (takes Merlin's wrist and starts running)

All knights: (run)

Questing Beast: (chases them)

Merlin: (trips in the middle of the race, cause his body is still aching) Ow! Damn it!

Arthur: (lifts him over his shoulder quickly and keeps running)

Merlin: What the-😨😳 Arthur!😡

Arthur: You can thank me later! (runs faster)

Time skip. After they informed Uther of the Questing beast and he sends Arthur to kill it.

Arthur, Merlin and the knights just before leaving.

Arthur: (talking to his knights) You've seen the foe we face. It is a creature of nightmare. But you're the best knights of the realm. (thinking) For now. (says) We can and we will kill it before it harms another citizen of our kingdom. For the love of Camelot!

Kinghts: For the love of Camelot!

Morgana: (comes out running down the stairs, yelling) Arthur!

Arthur: (concerned) Morgana, what is it?

Morgana: You cannot face it!

Arthur: (holds her wrists gently and whispers) You had a dream?

Morgana: (nods, still very upset) Please, Arthur! I have seen terrible things, you cannot go!

Arthur: I have to go. I promise everything will be alrigh-

Morgana: (desperate, shouts) No! I will not let you go!

Arthur: Morgana-

Morgana: Merlin will die!

Arthur: (pales)

Merlin: (thinking, shocked) Well, that's new.

Knights: ...

Arthur: (gets close to Morgana and whispers) Alright we won't go. But I need you to help me.

Morgana: (confused, whispers) What?

Arthur: You are very, very ill, Morgana.

Morgana: (understands and starts screaming like she's gone mad) NO! The monster! Is here! Just above us!

Arthur: (playing along) Morgana, what are you talking about, there's nothing there. Morgana!

Morgana: It's going to kill us! It's going to kill us all! (faints)

Arthur: (catches her) Morgana! Morgana! (to Merlin) I can't leave her like this.

Merlin: (nods in understanding and turns to Leon, whispering with begging eyes) Leon?

Leon: (gets the message and speaks up) Sire, I can lead the troops for you. We already know what we're looking for. We can manage.

Arthur: (nods) Be careful. (carries Morgana)

Merlin: (changes Leon's sword and Arthur's excalibur places with magic and aproaches Leon to whisper) Whatever you do, don't let it bite you. (goes back with Arthur while he carries Morgana back to the castle)

Time skip. Uther scolding Arthur.

Uther: You abandoned the mission?! 😡

Arthur: My knights are taking care of it. I couldn't leave Morgana in the state she was in.

Uther: It was just another nightmare of hers. Since when do you hear what she says?

Arthur: I always listen to her! (thinking) And I should have listen to her more before. (Says) And it's not her nightmare that worries me. She has fallen ill. I can not in my good conscience leave her alone when... (stops)

Uther: When what?

Arthur: When we almost lost her last time.

Uther: (relaxes his features) I know you care for her, but you have a duty to this kingdom. You can't just-

Arthur: Did you leave my mother alone when she was ill?

Uther: (hardens his features) It's different.

Arthur: Why? Because she's nothing of me? Because she's just your ward?

Uther: Arthur!

Arthur: (raises his voice) Well you may not consider her family, but I do! And I won't leave her!

Uther: You-

Merlin: (enters suddenly and bows) Excuse my imprudence, your Majesty, but Lady Morgana is asking for Ar-I mean the prince.

Uther: (dryly) And why didn't her maidservant come to tell me that?

Merlin: Gwen is still trying to calm her down, Sire. Lady Morgana is... pretty out of herself.

Uther: (looks at Merlin sternly, but then turns to Arthur and sighs) You can go with her. But if the troop comes back unsuccesful you'll go with the next.

Arthur: Yes, sire (bows and leaves with Merlin)

Time skip. In Morgana's chambers. Gwen with Morgana in bed, hugging her, while Merlin and Arthur are sat beside Morgana in the edge of the bed.

Morgana: Thank you for staying. For moment I thought you wouldn't believe me.

Arthur: You were right about Sophie. May as well be wary. (Puts a hand on her shoulder, comforting) What happened in your dream?

Morgana: (sighs) Nothing is really clear. But I saw the beast and then you laying motionless on the ground and... and then Merlin but in a different place and he was screaming so loudly before he... (stops herself, unable to say it) I don't know what happens before or later. It's all messed up. (With unshed tears) And I hate it! I hate this freaking condition!

Merlin: Don't think like that. You just saved our lifes!

Morgana: Did I really? What if my nightmares aren't just about the near future but the distant future? What if what I see is inevitable?

Gwen: My lady... You should tell them. About the other nightmare.

Morgana: (shakes her head in fear) No.

Arthur: (concerned) What? What is it?

Merlin: (just as concerned) You can trust us. Is it about the beast?

Morgana: No, it has nothing to do with that.

Merlin: Another danger? Is someone else in danger?

Arthur: (realises) Is it about you?

Morgana: (a couple of tears run down her eyes)... I... I don't know. (snuggles more against Gwen)

Gwen: Want me to tell them for you, my lady?

Morgana: (nods)

Gwen: She saw herself inside a pit or a well. Chained by the wrists.

Merlin: (thinking) Could it be the time she was captured? But that's several years in the future. Why would she dream that now?

Gwen: She also saw an old man. She thinks he's the one who put her there in her dream.

Arthur: (thinking, serious) Sarrum. This is when Sarrum imprisoned her. Why is she dreaming this?

Gwen: In her dreams this man tortures her and he... (stops, hesitantly)

Arthur: What? (thinking) Is this about how he repressed her magic? The white dragon? Does she already know she's a sorceress? Why is she so upset?

Morgana: (with a trembling voice but firmly) He forced me, Arthur.

Merlin: (brings a hand to his mouth, eyes wide) Oh, gods!

Arthur: (confused) Forced you? Forced you to what?

Gwen: (gives Arthur a sad look)

Arthur: (realises, in denial) No... no, you can't mean that!

Morgana: (looking smaller than ever) It felt so real.

Arthur: But...(thinking) That's not what he said he did. He never mentioned...

"Not that her time with me was entirely wasted" Arthur suddenly remembers Sarrum's words that day and the sick smile on his face while he said them. "At night you could hear its cries. They were even more heartbreaking than Morgana's".

Arthur: (devasted) No...

Merlin: (holds Morgana's hand, holding back his tears) That you dream it doesn't mean you can't prevent it. Just like you stopped us to go to our own deaths, we can surely avoid this from happening. (thinking, guiltily) I didn't know you sufferred so much, Morgana. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. (says) We won't let that happen. We'll protect you. Right, Arthur?

Arthur: ...

Merlin: Arthur?

Arthur: (filled with fury) I'm going to kill him. (stars leaving)

Morgana: Wow! Wait! (gets off her bed quickly and follows him) Arthur!

Gwen: (runs after Arthur too) Sire!

Merlin: (puts himself infront of him and stops him by the shoulders before he crosses the door) Arthur! You can't kill a man for something he hasn't comitted!

Morgana: (grips Arthur's arm) Merlin is right. I appreciate your concerned, really. But are you mad?! We don't even know who he is!

Arthur: (still struggles to get outside, whispers with a broken voice) I drank a cup with him.

Merlin: (shouts, while struggling with Arthur) Gwen, close the doors!

Gwen: (closes the doors)

Morgana: (pulls his arm harder) Arthur, stop! (puts herself infront of Arthur) There's no man to kill. It hasn't happen. I'm here and I'm fine.

Arthur: (gets back to his senses) Yeah... yeah you're right. I'm sorry I don't know what came over me.

Morgana: (guilty) Maybe I shouldn't have told you, The last thing I wanted is for someone else to be tormented by my nightmares too.

Arthur: No, (holds her face, fondly) for now on, I want you to tell me everything you dream, alright? Even if it seems irrelevant.

Morgana: (nods) Alright

Arthur: (Thinking, while he kisses her forehead and hugs her) I let you down. I let them hurt my sister. I'm sorry.

Merlin: (looking at Arthur strangely and very concerned cause while he's happy Arthur is more understanding of Morgana this violent reaction was so out of character of him) ...

Time skip. Leon in the throne room with Uther and Arthur, who has Merlin by his side.

Leon: (destroyed inside) They are all... dead.

Uther: Are you sure the beast is gone?

Leon: (nods) I managed to slay it.

Uther: Then their sacrifice was not in vane.

Merlin: (thinking, filled with guilt and sorrow) But it could have been avoided. There weren't supposed to be these many deaths. Oh, gods. Did this happen because I wasn't there? Because Arthur wasn't there? Is this my fault?

Uther: Rest assured you'll be rewarded for your service, Sir Leon.

Leon: I don't really believe I deserve it, sire.

Arthur: Those deaths are not on you, Sir Leon. (sighs) I'll deliver the news to the families. It's the least I can do.

Merlin: (returns excalibur to Arthur with magic subtly)

Uther: (to Arthur) You better get to that. (to everyone) You are dismissed.

Arthur: (leaves)

Merlin: (follows Arthur)

Leon: (stops Merlin in the hallway) Merlin, can we talk?

Merlin: Sure (turns to Arthur) Arthur-

Arthur: It's okay. I rather do this alone. I'll see you in my chambers. (squeezes Merlin's shoulder fondly and then leaves)

Merlin: (turns to Leon) Do you need something?

Leon: You noticed too, right?

Merlin: (nervous) Wh-what exactly? (thinking) Please don't say magic, please don't say magic.

Leon: Arthur. Something is wrong with him.

Merlin: (relieved) Oh... What do you mean?

Leon: Apart from suddenly leaving a mission? Did you notice how he reacted when I mentioned the casualties?

Merlin: (remembering, thoughtful) He... he didn't react at all.

Leon: Exactly! Don't get me wrong. He still offered to deliver the bad news and I'm sure he'll make sure the families of the fallen are compensated. And I know he normally restrains himself from showing emotion when he's around the king and his knights but...

Merlin: But?

Leon: I grow up with him. Even when he tried to hide it you could see the pain in his eyes when a brother in arms passed away. He never got used to it… Well, I thought he would never got used to it, but now when I looked at his eyes... they were hollow.

Merlin: (Remembering some of Arthur's kills like in the trap they set for Tauren and when Arthur came to Ealdor to kill Kanen and his men) I see what you mean. I thought it was only with the foes, but... (doesn't know what to think)

Leon: Yeah, I'm worried too. I was wondering if maybe something happened to him that I'm not aware of? You're the one who spends more time with the prince after all.

Merlin: (shakes his head) I'm as in the fog as you are.

Leon: Well, maybe we're just overthinking it.

Merlin: (smiles, unsure) Yeah... that must be.

Time skip. Arthur talking to Kilgharrah.

Kilgharrah: (complaining) You've been significantly reducing my numbers, young Pendragon.

Arthur: Sorry if I want to save as many innocent people as possible. Don't worry, there should be at least 250 when the time comes. More than enough for your revenge.

Kilgharrah: Do you think those you killed were not innocent?

Arthur: They were bad people.

Kilgharrah: Or people who just made a mistake. People who also had families.

Arthur: You are the least that has right to judge me.

Kilgharrah: That's true. The thing is, young Pendragon, my scruples do not matter. I am not the one who is going to become king.

Arthur: I will be a good king. I already have been. I am the Once and The Future King.

Kilgharrah: A king who put his love over his kingdom and his people and continues to do so.

Arthur: Which side are you on?

Kilgharrah: Yours, once and future king. I'm just worried.

Arthur: About what?

Kilgharrah: That your reign will not be different from Uther's.

Arthur: What are you talking about? I'm going to legalize magic.

Kilgharrah: Altering the order of factors does not always alter the end product.

Arthur: I didn't come here for riddles (sighs). Morgana is having visions.

Kilgharrah: She's a seer. It's expected.

Arthur: How far in the future can she see?

Kilgharrah: Once she trains her habilities, as far as she wants. Now... not really much. Just the inmediate future.

Arthur: But she saw events that are far yet to pass!

Kilgharrah: Which ones?

Arthur: That doesn't concern you. But they happen around 8 years from now in my timeline.

Kilgharrah: (thoughtful) Interesting...

Arthur: What?

Kilgharrah: It could mean nothing, just as it could mean everything. Past and future coliding, how interesting.

Arthur: (very done) You're useless. I don't know how Merlin put up with you. (leaves)

Kilgharrah: (shouts as he leaves) Yet you keep coming back, young prince! (laughs)

Meanwhile, Morgana and Merlin talking in a hallway.

Morgana: I feel awful so many people died, but I can't say I regret you and Arthur didn't go. I wouldn't trade you for anything.

Merlin: Me too. If Arthur's life was at risk, (thinking) And I know it was. (Says) I wouldn't let him go either even knowing this was going to be the other outcome.

Morgana: Then I hope you can forgive me.

Merlin: (confused) What? Why?

Morgana: (guilty) I might have... lied a little about my nightmare?

Merlin: (shouts) WHAT?!😨

Morgana: I mean, I did see Arthur dying and you screaming and all, but I think... you weren't actually...dying? 😅

Merlin: (angry) Morgana! 😡 How could you lie about something like that?!

Morgana: I had to! Arthur wouldn't have stayed if I didn't.

Merlin: Of course he would have! He already believes you. You didn't have to-

Morgana: Oh, please, Merlin. Do you really think Arthur stayed just for me? It wasn't until I told him your life was at stake that he decided no to go.

Merlin: That's not true! He cares and he trusts you and you lied to him, Morgana! How could you?!

Morgana: (between bewildered and concerned) That's the only reason you're angry? Because I abused of Arthur's trust?

Merlin: You think that's not bad?

Morgana: Yeah, but I would be more upset about the fact that someone make me believe I was going to die, rather than focus on the "you lied to my friend" part!

Merlin: Oh... Oh, right. That was bad too.

Morgana: (sighs) Merlin. I'm really glad you love Arthur so dearly, truly.

Merlin: (protests) I don't-

Morgana: But sometimes it also worries me.

Merlin: (confused) ...What?

Morgana: You love so much and yet you have so little love for yourself. It's like you are not aware of your own value.

Merlin: I'm just a servant.

Morgana: You're not just a servant to me and definitely not to Arthur, but even if it was that way, you still matter. Don't forget that.

Merlin: (smiles softly) Alright.

Time skip. Merlin and Arthur in another hunting trip, this time alone.

Merlin: (whimpers a little after Arthur kills a rabbit)

Arthur: (turns to Merlin, very done) Okay, that's it. I'm taking you to Gaius

Merlin: What?

Arthur: Is obvious something is wrong with you. You're always in pain.

Merlin: I'm not- (cuts himself and suddenly pales as he looks what's behind Arthur)

Arthur: (looks behind him, but there's only an old tree. Turns back to Merlin) Merlin?

Merlin: (whispers to himself, eyes watering while he walks backwards) It died, it just died.

Arthur: (confused) What?

Merlin: (trips and faints)

Arthur: (runs and catches him just in time) Merlin? Merlin! (shakes him, frantic) You, idiot, wake up! Merlin! Fuck... (lifts him in his arms and runs back to the castle)

Time skip. Right after discovering Merlin's connection to trees. Arthur goes to Kilgharrah.

Arthur: (urges) What's wrong with him? Why can he feel the pain of trees?

Kilgharrah: You know that better than anyone, young Pendragon.

Arthur: No! That doesn't make sense. This Merlin was not bewitched by the Sidhes!

Kilgharrah: Indeed, but you are two sides of the same coin. Even though you can't see one, it doesn't mean they are separate.

Arthur: Stop talking in riddles and tell me what's wrong with Merlin!

Kilgharrah: There is more than one possible explanation, but the most likely is unfortunately the most worrying of all. That would also explain why the witch saw events that are far yet to pass.

Arthur: What?! Tell me!

Kilgharrah: It could be a reminder.

Arthur: Reminder? Reminder of what?

Kilgharrah: That you're running out of time, young prince.

Arthur: (pales) Wha-what... What do you mean?

Kilgharrah: I mean exactly what you think I meant.

Arthur: (full panic mode) No... No! That's not what the druids said would happen if... Merlin cannot... I'm supposed to have more time!

Kilgharrah: No one really knows the consecuences of doing such a ritual, Young Prince, cause it was only done once succesfully. As I said before, It could mean nothing as well as it could mean everything. Which means Emrys new condition could be harmless as well as-

Arthur: It could grow worse. (sombers his expression) I won't let that happen. I know what I have to do.

Super time skip. Sometime around series 2. Arthur knocks the doors of Morgana's chambers.

Morgana: (opens) Arthur? (concerned as she sees Arthur's serious expression) Why are you here so late at night? Did something happen?

Arthur: (Nods) Can I come in?

Morgana: (moves aside and Arthur enters and then she closes the doors) What is it?

Arthur: I need to ask a big favor of you.

Morgana: Of course! Anything.

Arthur: (pulls out his mother's ring and puts it in Morgana's hand gently)

Morgana: (very confused) Arthur?

Arthur: Would you marry me?

....

BOOM! You didn't expect that, did you?

As I mentioned in a previous analyses I've made, I think Morgana being abused by Sarrum was implied in the series. It was also pretty common to do that with woman prisoners at that time.

What do you think is Arthur's plan? I want to read your theories :D

#merlin bbc #bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #merlin fanfic #merlin fic #merlin prompt #merthur fic #arthur and merlin #merlin and arthur #merthur prompt #merthur fanfiction #merthur fanfic #Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU

[girlfromflor]

atsumu and his infatuation with stoic!reader

wc: 1371 | tw: some swear words ig | a/n: i did not proofread this lol

atsumu was never one to think too hard about other people’s actions. he always thought that when someone said something, they meant it. when they didn’t say anything, well that’s just because there is nothing to be said. he was just as simple, so why worry, right? but that was before he met you. 

he still remembers the very first time he saw you come over practice. you seemed so lost, trying to speak to the coach and see if there was any chance you could be part of the club, only to have your voice completely drown in the loud sound of the balls hitting the court’s floor. atsumu was stunned, he had never seen you around and yet it felt like you were known, like that one person he can always count on. you were so gorgeous, your hair matching your pretty face and soft eyes. he almost immediately asked you to marry him. his eyes worked unceasingly to memorize every part of you. how you were a bit shorter than him, how the school uniform wrapped every part of your body oh so nicely, and he wondered how you would look rid of all those layers. so he gathered all his courage and after a deep breath he approached you, “uh, hi. i’m miya atsumu, do you need help?” 

you, with your ever so practical and stoic persona, had the immediate reaction to just say no. usually not one to chit chat or kill time doing something so trivial as talking about ordinary and banal things. but as you turned to answer the atsumu guy, you freezed. probably it was the first time you ever stood in a situation like this, but god, he was so absolutely gorgeous to you that your whole demeanor changed. you were a loss of words. flustered with your own traitor thoughts and, as you realized you were taking too much time to answer a simple question, your mind went blank for a minute. “sorry, what…?”

he laughed. and god, what a cute laugh he had. he wondered if you were always this distracted. “do you need help? with whatever it is that you’re doing…” and gave you a smile, trying his hardest to not add a random ‘love’ into the phrase. to his surprise you didn’t smile back, face expressionless as you said, “oh, right. yeah, i think i could use some help. i need to subscribe to some club activities and i thought maybe i could be part of the volleyball team… do you think that can happen?” after having a few seconds to recompose yourself you managed to mutter, thanking whatever wave of luck that allowed you not to stumble over your words.

and after that, atsumu knew he was in for a long journey. being head over heels for someone that he later learned to be a first-year, that he now would most likely see everyday and that – much to his dismay – did not utter a single word towards him, unless absolutely necessary. he did not understand any of it. why he felt so breathless around you and why you seemed so oblivious to his advances. he didn’t know how to deal with all of it, he just wanted to know you completely, to have access to your deepest desires and wills and have you share all parts of you and your life. 

but you never really seemed to realize how intensely he cared for you. and nowadays all he can do is to be deeply attentive to everything you do. whenever you say something – or when you don’t, for that matter – he’ll find a way to read your words and actions over and over again. he’s obsessed with it. he can’t imagine why in the world you are so little affected by the things he says and does. how could you not have any sort of reaction when he was around you doing all types of things to get your attention. it wasn’t until a random practice day that he realized just how much you actually noticed him.

he couldn’t help but reminisce that afternoon, it was very meaningful to him. after a few months of coexisting, he managed to remain well behaved with you. only exchanging a few words of politeness whenever you to met. he had just thrown another bad set to one of his teammates, growing frustrated and bothered by the minute. you don’t notice at first what’s wrong. nevertheless, you are the very first to really understand the problem. while all of the boys swim in confusion as to why atsumu seemed so lost in his thoughts during practice, you decide it’s time for him to focus already.

“atsumu” you call, waiting for him to look at you. he lifts his eyes slowly, so caught up in his frustration to notice the soft glint of affection in yours. “yes…?” he answers at last, still not paying you full attention. 

“i know you’re stressed over exams…” and that’s enough to have him looking at you with attentive eyes, wondering how did you know that since you’re not usually aware of those things, always having the best grades of your class. “but it will be okay. you studied harder than ever, if that’s not enough then i don’t know what would be…”

he lets out an amused chuckle, thinking that you’re just trying to be practical and make him not waste a whole practice just because he’s worried. but then it clicks, he never mentioned exams. during the whole time he spent studying, he did not mention it once. he was pressured enough, he didn’t want anyone else to add up to his stress. he questions then, why would you assume that, of all things? 

little does he know that you noticed how he was getting a few minutes later than the others at practice, because he was finishing a summary of his exams topics. how he would look at the paper in his pocket from time to time to check if he had gotten the right answers to the questions he was mentally doing over and over. how he stopped staying after hours so he could get home sooner, probably to go over his notes about that one topic he never really manages to understand just right.

so he tilts his head a bit to the side, still looking at you with some amusement in his eyes and says, “is not only that, you know… i have to study so much to get good grades and can’t even set right while doing so, it makes me wonder if i won’t ever be able to do two things at the same time…”

and for that you just giggle. a light, sweet sound that just makes atsumu drown even more in his infatuation for you. you raise your eyebrows, hardly believing these words had really left his mouth. “atsumu…” is soft, trying to not sound aggressive, but all the boys that are paying attention can see that you’re actually dead serious when you say, matter-of-factly “you’re recognized as the number one high school setter… what are you so concerned about?”

and that just hits him like a fucking punch, because you are not saying it to encourage him nor is it to make him feel better. you stating a fact, he is indeed one of the best players in high school, he should be able to study hard and still play well, it comes naturally to him anyway. his eyes fill up with something you can’t quite point out, his smirk spoke volumes though “well, i guess it just gets hard to remember that sometimes”

after that short dialogue you two shared, he managed to not miss one move throughout the rest of their practice. his humor all but recovered as he wonders just how much you watch him around and that, maybe, you think of him just as much as he thinks of you. but nothing could have prepared him for the next day, when he was changing at the locker room and found a note that said “so you don’t have a hard time remembering it” with a simple black bracelet underneath that had “best setter” engraved on it.

#haikyuu!! #miya atsumu #atsumu fluff #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu fic #this is really self indulgent #i am so sorry

[thefirst3chapters]

Overanalyzing the Danes family again and thinking about how they react to change:

Liz appears to have an affinity for material objects. When Luke goes to Liz and TJ's place in S7, they have lots of Renaissance faire decor, supplies for making jewelry, quite a few other decorative items, and what appears to be a sizable Beanie Babies collection. That could just be their style, but it's interesting that Luke mentions in S4 that Liz has ended up in situations where a guy leaves with her belongings and clears out her bank account. Perhaps having a lot of physical things around her that aren't very expensive and probably aren't family heirlooms makes her feel safe and gives her a sense of control when everything else changes. Those things might not be as likely to be stolen, and if they go missing she can acquire more.

In S6, Liz tells Luke after a successful run selling jewelry that she doesn't know what to do with all the money, and Luke's suggestion of putting it in a bank hadn't occurred to her. Maybe when Liz came across some money she liked going to thrift stores and getting as much as she could afford. I'm picturing her finding yet another lava lamp or doll and saying, "I feel a connection with this one, don't you think it belongs with us?" while four-year-old Jess, who has been dragging around Curious George Learns the Alphabet for months, stares at her blankly.

Most of the things Jess seems to value are sources of ideas (books and music) or have a clear practical purpose (his clothes, watch, and car). One notable exception is the bracelets he has in addition to the one he temporarily keeps from Rory. Maybe there's a story there, and it's possibly an interesting connection to Liz's interest in jewelry (cue the everlasting Gilmore Girls theme of being like your parents even if you don't realize it or try to resist it). Twice we see Jess moving out of town with just what he can carry, and it happened offscreen when he went back to New York. Luke points out that Jess doesn't have much when first gets to Stars Hollow, but he doesn't seem to mind and says that Liz will send the rest later. In that episode, Liz tells Luke it will be that Friday. When all this stuff arrives 10 episodes later, there is of course comedic value in Luke's frustration at being trapped by mountains of boxes, but it's interesting that there is so much, and Jess doesn't seem to care about most of it. Did Liz think Jess would be comforted by this in the way she might be? Even with the extra space when the addition is built, a lot of those things realistically would not have been kept. Jess doesn't seem to own much besides books when he's in his New York apartment either.

Liz is more gregarious than Luke and Jess, but she also appears less affected when people she loves are absent. Liz calls Luke to see if Jess got to town alright in his first episode but famously doesn't ask about Jess going back to New York for the holidays. In S4, Liz is happy to see Jess both times he is in town, but she doesn't go out of her way to find out where he is or if he's okay. In S6, when she projects her concerns by telling TJ that he's going to mess up their child and throws things at him, she tells Luke that TJ left her like all the guys before him, but she's calm about it because of her "new come-what-may philosophy." Luke's the one who intervenes and gets TJ to come back while Liz is busy making new friends, and then Liz is glad to reconcile with him. Maybe Liz's apparent ease with all of this and her inclination toward meeting new people is how she's gotten through all of the losses she's experienced. She's predisposed to moving on.

Jess isn't social by nature, and as a teenager he's extra resistant to being around other people. However, in the two examples we see, once he gets emotionally attached to someone, it's for life. Being estranged from Luke and Rory affects him deeply and for a long time, and when he reconciles with them he makes it clear how important they both are to him. When he's working at Truncheon, he and his co-workers are friends, and he's conversational enough to be a successful businessperson in that environment, but April still notes that "men in this family aren't chatty" when she meets him.

For Luke, the circle of people he likes being around is small, but to those people he's extensively loyal ("Once Luke Danes is in your life, he's in your life forever"). The absence of someone he cares about clearly distresses him, and he tends to seek solitude in response. His apartment isn't cluttered, but he seems to have kept high school trophies, and he has a strong emotional attachment to things that are connected to his family: the diner, the "William's Hardware" sign, the boat, and his grandmother's bedroom furniture. Luke's life has been a bit more stable because he's the one who stuck around to take care of his parents and run the family business, and he's often hesitant to accept change. When metaphorical storms uproot Liz and Jess and take them elsewhere, they have contrasting coping mechanisms that they take with them while Luke stays behind and tries to hold down the fort, and eventually Jess finds stable footing and is able to help him. Or something like that.

#gilmore girls meta #liz danes #jess mariano #luke danes

[runabout-river]

Thoughts on JJK chapter 259 (Spoilers)

We start with a flashback to the blood junkies teaching Yuji how to use BM. As was already said in a previous flashback, Choso can't teach for shit but that's why Kamo is here. Yuji's one way of relating to the foundation of BM is a little infantile but when it works it works.

This 1-page flashback is there for only one thing: preparing us for Choso's upcoming death through sacrifice.

Sukuna collects BV like I did Yugioh cards. First a cooking pun, then a limit on furnace outside of his DE, then the inside of his DE was littered with explosive CE ambers, then a change of his barrier to keep his CT output high.

Uraume (not Sukuna! not the narrator!) declares this their victory while she hasn't even managed to defeat Hakari. The narrator does say though that this is Sukuna's ultimate move. Looking at its scale and immense destructive power, it's appropriate.

I made a post about other techniques that Sukuna probably has in his sleeve: CTR, the Maximum and the Hollow Technique. It could be that Sukuna's MT and HT could rival his Fire in destructiveness without contradicting the narrator: Sukuna is a villain who also grows while fighting just like the typical shonen protagonist. Sth like HT he might've just learned from Gojo making Yuji's continued fight against him hell.

The moment Yuji was in an enclosed and dark space with Choso above him I knew Choso was a goner. It's sad 😢 but we go back to that picnic table and those two have one last conversation with each other. They're at peace with the situation...

Important to note: Yuji normally infuses dream sequences into others unlike Sukuna who has a post-death talk with them. This is a post-death talk that Yuji now has with Choso, so I'm curious how that will get explained in the future. Is that part of the resonance that gets mentioned later?

Also important: with how everything with Choso and the picnic table is set up, I find it likely that Yuji will be here again right before dying (or when he dies). Other dead characters might greet him here.

The narrator tells us that after the dusts settles, Yuji's convictions get shaken. We get an appropriate 80% page close up of Sukuna from below, portraying him as the monstrous giant that he is.

What I don't really like here is that Yuji's feelings of despair don't get to sink in. Todo appears 1 panel after Yuji looks relatively all right. Maybe Gege didn't want to repeat Kugisaki's death aftermath as it wouldn't add much but a bit more emotions would've been better.

Anyway, Todo is here right when he was needed the most. A flashback tells us what the rational behind his late entrance and absence from Yuji's presence had been. Makes sense and now the Sukuna-Yuji(-Megumi?) resonance will be an important plot point later.

Does that resonance go both ways? Three ways? Was that how Yuji had entered the inner domain where Megumi is imprisoned right now?

Also, who else is going to show up now? This feels like the perfect setup for Nobara to make her comeback. The same points for keeping Todo's presence and assistance hidden apply to her and this scene directly calls back her death scene as well.

The "most likely fine" is also funny but it also sets up that Ino, Maki and Miwa(?) might've gotten injuries that cross them out of the fight. I think that only Maki will return.

Now the original Brothers™ are back to fighting together again (would've loved Choso and Todo to argue about that though). Sukuna of course knows everything about their fighting style and he looks like a menace again. (Maybe next chapter will open with another flashback of Choso and Todo fighting over Yuji)

Sukuna's arms are open and he smiles without any worries. While Uraume might be shocked that this isn't their victory and that Sukuna's most devastating attack only killed one person, Sukuna himself is all sunshine and rainbows.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #sukuna #yuji itadori #itadori yuuji #choso #jjk choso #ryomen sukuna #todo aoi

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

“An 11-year-old girl who was misdiagnosed with sickness bugs and migraines was assessed by doctors about 30 times before they found that she had a brain tumour, according to her mother.

Tia Gordon, from Northampton, was admitted to hospital as an emergency despite previous visits to GPs, A&E and calls to 111.

Imogen Darby, Tia’s mother, said her daughter’s glasses prescription had also been changed four times before the tumour was found.

Darby had sought help regarding Tia’s migraines and vomiting for more than three years, before being told that the wait for an MRI scan would be at least eight months. It was only when Tia’s balance and ability to walk were affected that she was given an emergency scan, which found a brain tumour measuring about 3.5cm.”

Darby said: “I was told Tia had stomach bugs and migraines. The first thing I was told, because it was the summer, [was that] she just needed to drink more water.

“After probably a year, she got diagnosed with migraines and they gave her paracetamol for that. She was also given another medication for that and her final diagnosis in January from paediatrics was migraine with sickness.

“Over more than three years, I took Tia to doctors, she was refused MRIs, she was refused to be seen by emergency paediatrics, I called 111, I went to A&E. She had her glasses changed four times, she was given medication and she had a consultant, but it took for her to be unable to walk for her to get the care she needed.”

Darby first noticed Tia’s symptoms in March 2020 when she started vomiting with increasing frequency. Darby twice tried to get her daughter referred to emergency paediatrics, but was declined both times and told it was not an emergency.

Later, Tia began holding her neck in an unusual way and complained about stiffness, for which she was referred to a physiotherapist.

Despite several visits to A&E and calls to GPs and the NHS’s 111 service, Tia’s remained undiagnosed. From November 2023 to January 2024, Tia was vomiting violently every day, and began to lose her balance. “She was tipping her milk out in the kitchen sink,” Darby said. “She was standing there and … she didn’t notice she was doing it at all.”

After a phone call from Tia’s school, which said Tia was holding her neck and was off balance, Darby took her to Northampton General Hospital. While there, Tia was unable to walk in a straight line, and a CT scan revealed a pilocytic astrocytoma — the most common type of brain tumour in children.

Tia was taken to Queen’s Medical Centre in Nottingham, where she had a ten-hour operation to remove the tumour. “It was quite a horrendous day,” Darby said. “They managed to get 96 per cent of it out.”

Tia called the growth her “astronaut tumour”. Since the procedure, she gets very tired and can sometimes lose her balance. Her recovery will consist of an MRI scan every three months for the next five years, and she is having regular physiotherapy and meetings with neurologists.

She is keen to get back to her hobbies. Darby calls her “Dr Doolittle” due to her love for animals, and added that Tia is a keen reader and enjoys playing dodgeball.

Cameron Miller, director of external affairs and strategy at the Brain Tumour Charity, said “We wish Tia all the best with her continuing treatment and thank Imogen for sharing her story.

“Sadly, it’s one that we often hear. For many brain tumour patients, it simply takes too long to be diagnosed — and this is one of the reasons why we’re calling for a National Brain Tumour Strategy.”

[billpottsismygf]

The Devil's Chord! This was my most highly anticipated episode of the series because of The Beatles - who I'm very nostalgic for, sue me - but they had a much smaller part than I expected. That may be for the best, as the actors don't look anything like the real deal, but they did an admirable job considering the circumstances.

I love the idea behind this one. I'm a musician myself and love things about music. Music being important, music being holy, I love it all. Everything from Maestro playing us into the theme tune, to the way it aligns with the characters' established personalities (the Doctor's jukebox and Ruby's band), made me very happy. The music battle was especially cool. Very The Devil Went Down to Georgia. Out there, but I liked it a lot.

Maestro was also a lot. I liked them, though. Great costumes, great performance. A campy villain in the best way. They're the Toymaker's child, which is interesting in itself, and I like that the rules around fair play seemed to extend to them as well.

There was a lot of series arc stuff here. So, Ruby has Carol of the Bells deeply ingrained within her. There was some important figure (another of the Pantheon, presumably) at her birth - is Ruby herself a child of the Pantheon? More snow, as well. There's also the One Who Waits coming up again. It all feels a little too self-conscious and crammed in - "remember, there's pay-off coming for these random mysteries that you have no context for!". I know we live in an era of heavily serialised media, in large part because of streaming and the binge model, and obviously Doctor Who has been semi-serialised since the revival, but it just seems like a lot. Maybe even too much, especially since the first episode was quite heavy with it too.

Although, I did wonder if this one was meant to be later in the series. First Ruby saying "you never hide" and then "you always know what to do" signaled a far longer association with the Doctor than she has had, but then it was especially jarring when she said it was hard to keep track of when her time is and it could be June or July... That sounds like someone who's been travelling with the Doctor for a while, not like someone who's on their second trip. And it was Christmas for her only last episode. Obviously there can be off-screen trips, but usually for the first couple of episodes we want to feel that this is the start of their journey as the audience gets to know them. Did this get plucked from later in the series and dropped into the episode 2 slot? Because it seems a bit of a shame, if so.

There was a lot of fourth wall breaking in this one as well. There was a wink to camera each from Maestro and the Doctor, as well as the Doctor's comment about thinking the music was non-diegetic (a nice little moment that probably a lot of people will miss). I do quite like a meta moment, and particularly loved the Twelfth Doctor's partaking in them, but I wonder if these serve a particular purpose, because we also had Mrs Flood talking to camera at the end of the Christmas special. Since RTD seems to be going with a theme that the rules of the universe have changed and become a bit more magical, I wouldn't be surprised if the meta elements tied in somehow.

Then, this is less meta and more fully surreal, but that whole ending musical number was... odd. I don't know what I think about it yet. The Doctor with his wink and "there's always a twist at the end" seemed to signal that we were leaving the normal reality of the show, but then... Did that musical number literally happen? How about the Abbey Road zebra crossing acting like a piano? It's part of my specific brand of autism that I struggle with surreal things when it's not clear how/whether they relate to the more realistic things going on, so maybe other people love it. It just made me feel confused, though, and slightly annoyed. I expected a musical number because the trailers showing this made that fairly clear, but I'd assumed it would be explicitly connected to the strange happenings of the episode. Instead it's just plonked at the end after everything has been fixed.

A lot of this latter stuff sounds quite negative, but overall I really liked this one! As I said before, the music stuff speaks to me personally very much, and I'll withhold final judgement about the serialisation stuff and even the meta/surreal stuff, as it may well pay off yet.

Small things

Love their outfits so much, and obviously we've known about them for a while, but it was funny they were worried about blending in when both of them (especially Ruby) were wearing pretty 60s adjacent outfits at the start. The Doctor was more 70s, but I don't think many people would have looked askance.

Ahhhh, Fifteen mentioning that One was in the junkyard made me exceedingly happy! The speculation about what happened to Susan also has me hoping beyond hope that this might be set-up for a Susan return.

I loved that extended instrumental scene where Ruby just played on the rooftop and people listened. It was quite moving!

Love hearing the word "lesbians" on Doctor Who <3 - I don't think even Bill explicitly got to use that word!

Just the general queerness is really nice. Ruby writing a song for her friend's gay break up. Maestro being they/them and it not really being a thing beyond their introduction. Ruby's mum having a "girlfriend" who was a Beatles fan that makes me wonder if that's in the platonic or gay sense.

I want to know the behind the scenes details of how they chose the music they did, especially when it comes to the chords that both summon and banish Maestro.

Henry the child is real and alive at the end! (Though it's during the musical number, so I guess real is dubious.) When he vanished into nothingness (and his music teacher didn't seem to care), I had thought he wasn't real. Does he have his own world-ending powers?

The Doctor referring to bigeneration as having had his soul "torn in half". Hmm, don't like that! I won't rehash my feelings on bigeneration here, but this implies that there is not continuity between the end of Fourteen and the start of Fifteen, which mucks up one of the only ways I could hold onto being just about okay with it.

#doctor who #the devil's chord #mine #dwmine #reactions #doctor who spoilers #dwspoilers #it's not even a good musical number #oh well #also the susan thing has me genuinely very very hopeful #please please please bring back carole ann ford while you still can #and obviously if you do bring back susan she had better be played by carole ann ford #dwe15

[pricegouge]

Fatted Rabbit, Part Ten

bearshifter!price au

Rated explicit

Part One

Note the rating change! If you didn't sign up for any of the following, go ahead and skip from "---" to the next "---"

cw: oral sex (f receiving), penetrative sex, and squirting. Also, allusions to past SA (bunny get's a little freaked out about being touched at one point but they figure it out quick)

John's not sure if he has ever in his life felt so impotent. The fact that it's some human man potentially states away that has him so twisted only serves to further his downward spiral, causing him to forget to even feed himself for whole days, which only darkens his mood. He starts lashing out at the new employees, would feel like a right arse about it if he were capable of anything other than frustration and the general itchiness of another bull encroaching on his area.

Would that it were. If he could just sniff Phil out and gore him, sift through viscera and fat to find the rich, dark tissue of his vital bits, he'd have done this by now. But John has no scent. Doesn't even have a last name. Can't even ask for one without good reason, which he's in short supply of this week. He's tetchy and twitchy, barely listening to the trainee's questions before snapping incorrect answers at them. He only realizes his mistakes much later, when the senior staff returns to demand things like, 'since when?' and, 'fucking, why?' He steps out back every hour for a smoke, nearly bites his own fingers off to avoid texting his bunny. He can't blame her for wanting some space, but good luck explaining that to his bear.

He spends his days penned behind the bar, letting Soap keep the customers occupied so John can take his aggression out on every type of citrus known to man until the larders are overflowing with ugly, hacked up orange slices which Soap steadfastly refuses to comment on. He keeps his silence well, in fact, never once asking what's on John's mind although John can see those good bartender instincts vibrating under the surface, desperate to sit Price down with something strong in one hand and a chisel in the other, really get to the core of him. John knows he should cut the man some slack, subject himself to Soap's particular brand of mother henning just to build some camaraderie. Instead, he audits receipts without fully remembering how numbers work.

He attends a bloody small business committee meeting, gets told he has to add some curb appeal. He makes a note of it instead of biting the chairperson's head off, and deletes it immediately with a vindictive curl of his lip. The commerce building has the kind of stale, uncycled air quality that only a government establishment can. He stews in body odor and reheated leftovers for hours, only realizing why it had bothered him so much when he steps outside and takes the full force of his mate's scent like a brick in the face. Christ, she's been near recently. She smells good, clean and well fed. The heavy scent of her estrus is gone, replaced instead with the strong, masculine scent of -

Oh, holiest of holies; luteinising hormone, impending storm that you are.

He keeps himself confined to the walk-in the rest of the day, detailing already-clean shelving as an excuse to huff bleach solution - the only scent strong enough to keep his rabbit's at bay now that he knows her heat is imminent. Every time he steps outside he can smell her, has to white knuckle his bear back into submission. His mate, going into heat. Keeping herself away from him, walking around town smelling like that, all while another boar looms to the south.

If he'd been irritable before, he's downright inconsolable now.

John liked to pride himself on the knowledge that he probably knew what most things felt like. Afterall, it's not every human who can slough his skin off at the end of the day and become a whole new species. But this is new. It's worse than a rut, truly. At least in a rut he could fuck a pillow or something when in dire straits, but this - subject to another's instincts, unable to appease the bottomless well of want he can smell in the air like the lingering spores of dry rot. It's dangerous to indulge; worse yet to ignore. He'd meant it when he'd said she could run him ragged for a year if she wanted, and dammit he still did, but he hadn't considered this collusion of events. It left him untethered. Completely unhinged.

He's been visiting her nearly every night just to keep himself sane, but it doesn't do much good now, his bear gone so fucking basal he can barely remember their interactions the next day. He gets vague sense memories the next morning: smell, mostly; glass cleaner coating his tongue. Not much more. So it strikes him as odd when his bear allows a moment of clarity a few nights later. He doesn't know what to do with her words right then, but he wakes up hard and desperate, remembers her sad eyes when she admits she's not used to getting what she wants, cums all across his own chest when he realizes she means him, respecting her boundaries, how she wants him to reach out. Who is he to refuse?

***

He nearly mauls her when she climbs down out of her Jeep the following Monday, her scent fucking lethal. She's got on that same thin sweater she'd worn on their first date, nipples just barely evident in the brisk morning air. Her tits are fuller; lips, too. They yield under his own deliciously when he kisses her in greeting. A little too desperately, if the way she laughs sweetly against his mouth is any indication. Still, she doesn't pull away and John presses his luck, glancing around to make sure they're relatively alone. It's a small garden center, but crowded with like-minded patrons eager to get their spring planting done. His rabbit's got a knack for picking quiet corners of lots, though, so when he spots no prying eyes, he walks her back the half step needed to press her soft bum against the door, cradles her face with one hand as the other rests on the roof of her car.

"You look nice," he tells her in between kisses. "Missed you." He slips some tongue into his next kiss, pulls back like he's afraid he might have scalded her when he suddenly remembers the whole reason he'd had to miss her was 'cause she'd wanted space. "That okay?"

"Yes. Yes, definitely." Breathy, tits heaving ever so slightly. He gives her a smile like she personally hung the moon, then kisses her a little less innocently, humming happily into her mouth when her timid little hands find his belly. He doesn't pull away until her breaths come heavy through her nose, pushing her soft chest up into his. He doesn't go far when he does, either. Rests his forehead against hers, content to breathe the same air as her for a moment.

"Good to see you, too," she eventually jokes and John chuckles at himself, kisses her on the bridge of her nose, right between the eyes, before stepping away from her completely.

"Sorry bunny, couldn't help myself." He eyes her over suggestively, noting how her nipples have hardened further in the absence of his body heat. Emboldened, he reaches out and pinches one ever so gently, chuffing happily at the squawk she emits.

"Shit, are they really that bad?" She frets, crossing her arms over her ample chest. Squished, her tits fold prettily over her soft arms. He barely has enough higher brain function to note that she didn't necessarily tell him to stop - though his brain seems to have its priorities straight, running that bit of information up the flagpole so high it probably displaces 'keep breathing' for a moment.

"Don't think so… let me see again?"

He must nail the delivery because she unfolds her arms for his assessment without any hint of suspicion.

"Not bad at all," John rumbles, earning a surprised laugh.

"You're ridiculous. Lemmie grab a flannel or something, hold on." She turns to head toward the boot but John pins her with his hip, already removing his own thick button up. She humors him; doesn't even need to say anything as she takes it from him with an eyebrow raised.

"Ridiculous, remember?"

"How could I forget?" She smirks, letting him help her into it. It hangs past her arse, unfortunately, but can't be buttoned past her diaphragm because she's so lovely and full. She looks briefly embarrassed by that so John tucks a finger under the neckline to pull it away ever so slightly and grins like an idiot at the view he gets a peek of. She swats his hand away but she's smiling again so John counts it as a win. Ignoring his antics, she asks if he's sure he won't be cold without his flannel and he can't help but snort as he guides her toward the greenhouse, arms linked. "I'll be fine, bunny."

"Mm. Must be nice having your own pelt." She rubs her soft palm over his hairy arm and he damn near purs.

He'll have to save a skin for her next time he transforms. He can't gift it to her yet, unfortunately - bear pelts are quite costly and he knows her well enough by now to know she'd never accept if she thought he'd bought it. But later, when they're mated properly and she knows all his secrets… he pictures her laid out on his bed, buried under piles of his very flesh, pleasing herself as she scents him.

"Yes, well." John clears his throat. "Cuddle up and share the warmth, yeah?"

She complies easily, tucking herself under his arm happily; oblivious to his inner turmoil. "Didn't know you were such a green thumb," she says conversationally and John snorts, pressing a kiss to the crown of her hair.

"M'not. HOA of small businesses said I needed to add curb appeal. Boot shop across the road suggested plants."

"Ah, I see. Well, that'll be cute. You looking for like… hanging baskets? Planters? I don't think you'd have enough space but you'd probably trap more tourists if you did an herb-veggie garden thing to use in-house."

John blinks, pulls her impossibly closer, can't help the borderline cruel smile curling his lips. "You a gardener?"

"Well, not really anymore. Gardening in Dallas is a bit like trying to water spinach when it's already in the pan. And I don't really have the yard space now," she chuckles. "But I used to, back home."

"Clever rabbit can grow her own clover, eh? I could set up something on the roof for an herb garden… maybe do veggies out by the brewery…"

"Well that sounds like a lot of work if all you need is curb appeal."

"Sure, but it's smart. And if I put the beds closer to the outer wall on the roof, they would be visible from the street."

"Added privacy," the rabbit tacks on, stepping away from him to eye some overlarge ferns. John grins after her. Food and privacy. She's already improving his den. "Anyway, what are you thinking for the curb itself? You have a pretty masculine style going on in there; keep it green? You open to color?"

"I'm thinking I brought the right person for the job." He waves his hand at her. "Whatever you think, bunny, go crazy."

Her eyes drift off to some topiaries before snapping back to him. "Is this like a company expense? What's the spending limit?"

John barks with laughter. "Said go crazy, didn't I?"

She hoofs it to the topiaries and John heads off in search of a flatbed.

***

It's a good thing he'd had the foresight to bring the cargo van. He winds up with matching topiaries to put on either side of the door, enough hanging ferns to dot the spaces between the windows, dressing for the window stools, and plenty of box planters to top the concrete wall the sections off the patio seating from the street. ("Are those yours or the city's? You should have someone paint them if you can.")

John just nods along when prompted, tells her he prefers warm tones to cool, and smells as many flowers as he can in an attempt to keep her scent at bay.

It doesn't work. She's not in a true heat, he can tell now - must be on the pill -, but her hormones are still out of control and while he logistically knows he's the only one who can smell her wet cunt, the urge to get her cock drunk and satiated, so full up of his seed no challengers will ever mistake her for an unmated sow again is damn near out of control. At least he avoids taking her in the employee's tool shed like a randy teen.

Inside, by the register, she chats with the clerk about planting options regarding the herbs she wants to get started when she doesn't even have a bed made for them, yet. John distracts himself by perusing the small collection of indoor plants disinterestedly, heavy mit dragging along springy leaves while he keeps an eye on his girl. Until a coarse, hairy, jumble of roots has him yanking his hand away on instinct, glowering down at the gnarled plant in question.

It's an ugly thing, at first glance. Dark leaves hiding twisted aerial roots which resemble tarantula legs - thick and furry, they amble directionless, giving them the uncanny appearance of being in possession of too many joints. John drags a finger over a root again, curiously, and is disappointed to find the fur hard and itchy. He huffs at it, not strictly human, affronted by the highly inedible looking greenery in front of him. He fishes out the placard, morbidly curious what the hell this thing could be - and nearly cracks his face in half with the size of his grin.

"Bunny, look," he calls as he approaches. "It's perfect."

"Oh my god! My grandmother used to have one of those. I forgot all about it. What is this th -?" she rolls her eyes up to him when she reads the tag, unimpressed frown firmly in place.

"Oh, a rabbit's foot fern!" the clerk she'd been talking to coos. "And our last one, I think. Great find!"

"Don't encourage him," the rabbit grouses just as John thanks her, putting his find on the counter. "Are you really buying that?"

"The lady said it was a good find," he smirked.

"It's dry as a bone! I'm not sure it'll make it."

"Oh these things are quite hardy, for ferns. Just water well and keep it humid, those roots'll soften up in no time."

"Those things get softer?"

It's bunny who answers, fussing with a crunchy root all the while. "Yeah, they look like tarantula legs when they're thirsty, but they do indeed look soft as a rabbit when healthy."

"They're quite cool," the clerk adds as she begins scanning. "Can live forever if treated well, too. I've got one that my mother bought in the eighties."

John hums, pressing a kiss into the rabbit's temple. "Be sure to do that, then."

***

She's not done making him wait; completely oblivious to his struggles. "You're not doing my gardening for me, bunny," he tries, but she's stubborn and despite his impatience, seeing her toil away at his den soothes something in him. Doesn't mean it's not torture watching her work, bent over and kneeling on the ground, dirty up to her elbows in soil. He helps her as much as he knows how; keeps her plied with water and berries instead when she sends him and his black thumbs away. She lets him feed her a few times, the pad of his thumb lingering on her lips.

"Are you really not mad at me?" She asks eventually, attempting to rub dirt off her cheek but only serving to smudge it more with her dirty fingers.

John frowns down at her for a moment. "What on earth for?"

She shrugs. "Leaving for a few days, I guess?"

"Oh, honey. No. Told you you could take all the time in the world." And then, when that strange instinct which takes over for him when she's being flighty rears its head, "That's not why you're doing all this, is it?"

A beat.

Too long. She's just starting to shrug when John's extending a hand down to her. "Up you get, bunny. I'm not -." Phil "That's not -." Phil "Let's go inside. Get you cleaned up."

"But we're -."

"It's enough, sweetheart. We can finish tomorrow if you want. For now, let's get you cleaned up." ---

They don't make it that far. A kiss to her temple, a sigh of contentment, muddy fingers mark the nape of John's neck. She says they'll get his sheets dirty and John laughs 'that's the point.'

They leave a trail of her clothes to his bedroom. He peels the layers off reverently, bites the apples of her dimpled flesh so lightly she just chuckles at him, calls him a weirdo when he licks his own drool off her tits. He can't help it, tongue heavy with lust and hunger.

He gets her on her belly first, big soft ass tilted up at him by the still-clothed arm he's got wrapped under her, free hand spreading her cheek wide enough he can press his face into the seam of her. He snuffles in there, groaning at her scent, tongue seeking out the very back of her cunt and working the fluttery skin. "Fuck," he hears her hiss, reaching her hand back to sink her fingers into his short hair. He tries looking up at her, discovers he's already too far buried in the globes of her ass to do so, and groans again.

Laying out fully now, his weight pinning her legs, John keeps kneading her flesh to grant himself better access. He drops until he can take her lips into his mouth, sucking on them and coating his tongue in the slick that clings to the soft flesh. She tastes better than she smells, somehow. He tilts his head and opens his mouth wide enough he can gently dig his teeth into her puffy vulva and she moans prettily so he stays there, tongue lapping at her folds and groaning. She's so wet - a bottomless spring. John thinks he could drink from her forever.

"Fuck, honey. All this for me?" He teases, retreating only enough to pull her folds open with his thumb so he can lick a fat stripe right over her glistening hole. "You spoil me."

"John, fuck -. I want -."

"Want what, honey?" He doesn't think she can hear him, the way he's making out with her cunt when he speaks, but she gets the sentiment anyway.

"More, please, John, I need -." She cuts herself off with a moan when he spits on her and gives up words altogether, electing instead to reach under herself and take his hand from her hip, forcing it down between her legs.

Never one to deny her anything, he chuckles against her skin as he complies, breath hot where it traps in her cute little curls. Shifting his weight, he spreads one of her legs just enough to give himself room to work which he does immediately, curling two fingers up to her hole to gather slick and framing her clit with them. "That it, baby?" he asks, biting the crease where her ass meets her thigh gently. "Don't like when I tease you? Just need it right here, huh?" He drags his thumb down her slit again, holding her folds and flesh out of the way so he can see exactly what he's doing to her, notes precisely what makes her twitch. When his fingers pull her hood back fully and his thumb brushes her raw clit and she seizes up like she's been shocked, he places a soothing kiss against her ass.

"Alright, sweetheart, I'll play nice," he coos; and then very much doesn't.

Keeping her clit's pretty little veil fully retracted, John buries his nose in her cunt - right in the core of her, source of all his anxieties - and kisses her bare little pearl bruisingly. He licks and sucks and slurps, lets his lips vibrate against her when he hums approvingly at her own noises. She tries to buck him off a few times but he just winds his free hand around her hips as well to keep her close, settles himself more firmly across her legs to keep her pinned. It's a struggle to breathe like this, but he'd be content to die here if it came to that so he stays put, sucking in ragged breaths when she manages to pull away just enough to fuck herself back onto him.

When her cunt starts fluttering around him he tilts his head to the side to make room for the free hand he pulls back out from under her and dips the very tips of two fingers into her, tickling the edges of the inner lips there. She damn near sobs, thick thighs struggling to lift both their weight enough to bring him into herself. John pulls away with a cruel scrape of teeth against her clit, chuckling when she threatens to shake apart. "Need something, sweetheart?"

"Christ, John, just fuck me, please," she begs, too lucid. That won't do.

"Ask nice," he counters, spitting on her clit and lapping at it, letting his motions carry long enough that it drags his lip and beard across the sensitive little thing as well. She shutters, cunt clenching around his first knuckles. His cock slots between her calves and he uses his own legs to keep hers pressed together so he can fuck down into the channel he's created. She's soft there, too, a much needed contrast to the bite of his trousers.

"John, please. Please fuck me, please. Want to feel you."

He hums in thought, never once entertaining the idea. "Gotta stretch you first, sweetheart. Get you nice and loose. Too tight to take me like this." To prove his point, he bullies his fingers into her in one long stroke. She hisses something that might be a curse, swollen lips falling open as he keeps pressing into her. She's wet enough to take him, but too tense, and he tongues the rim of her when she clenches tight.

"See? Gotta take care of you first, right honey?"

She nods, eyes glazing over a bit, and John hides his smile in her arse before licking his way back down to her throbbing clit.

He plays with her a while longer, returns to the aimless licking and sucking that's less designed to get her off and more designed to get her wet and frustrated. By the time her clenching around his fingers is timed to keep him in more so than out, John's discovered she quite likes a little bit of teeth and he's got her vulva so swollen with love bites and kisses he's distantly worried her cute little knickers will hurt her when he finally lets her put them back on. All the while, she just takes it; moaning prettily and huffing in frustration by turns. Someday she'll realize he can't deny her anything and she'll beg so sweetly when he gets her like this. But for now, she doesn't know what kind of power she has over him so just lays there, incapacitated, sighing and groaning, letting him make a mess of her.

It's the third finger that does it. Where they'd been languid and teasing only moments ago, she's jittery and desperate now, trying to rock herself back onto him with what little leverage she has. He takes pity on her, his own need drawing tighter as well. "You wanna cum, baby?" he asks, voice surprisingly tender considering how deep it's fallen.

"Please, John, please," she babbles, calves flexing under him as she wiggles in anticipation.

"Show me then," he prompts, and drags her hood back from her clit to suck at it happily, bullying a spot deep inside her that makes her breathing go wet and ragged.

"John! Fuck -. Jesus, I -." The moan she lets out when he hardens his tongue and flicks it against her is filthy so John carries on like that. Her fingers have slid from the crown of his head to the nape of his neck and he'd like to see her like that, all bowed and twisted to keep him where she needs him, but he's also quite content with the view he has here so he digs himself impossibly deeper and presses the heel of his palm against her lower belly and -.

She drenches him, moans loud and erratic, simultaneously trying to flinch away from him and keep him pressed against the veritable font she's become. "Shit," John hisses, using his grip to bow her back impossibly more so he can take most of the flow to his chest. He works her through it, can't resist lapping at her with fat stripes of his tongue which leave his mouth full. He's soaked, beard wet and dripping, shirt probably ruined. She's a panting, writhing mess by the time he relents, too fucked out to even keep herself propped up anymore, face buried in his pillow.

It takes him a moment to realize she's muttering something, content as he is to catch his breath in the humid hinges of her joints. When he finally registers her quiet voice he climbs his way up her mountainous body, dropping kisses to freckles and stretch marks. "Wassat, honey?" He asks her temple as he folds his arms under her body, cradling her to his chest as he lays out over her again.

She turns her head just enough to allow her voice to escape the pillow. "Said, 'sorry'."

John grunts, momentarily distracted from his mission to grope every inch of her tits. "Why you sorry, sweetheart?"

"Didn't mean to make a mess. Never done that before."

"Never?" He chuckles, choosing to ignore the fact she felt she needed to apologize so as not to lose his temper. "Nothing to be sorry about, honey. Quite liked it."

She peeks back at him. "You did?"

He hums, bites her cheek lightly. "I did. You can mark me anytime you want."

"Ew," she laughs and he joins her, kissing down her neck.

"You need a minute, bunny?"

She shakes her head, pushes at his forehead until he gives her enough room to roll over. He plasters himself to her front but she's quick to push him away again. "Can we get you out of these wet clothes?"

Sitting back on his shins, John pulls his shirt over his head and is delighted when her fingers immediately find the fur of his belly, taking a moment to pet him before helping with his belt. There's the usual tangle of limbs, made better by the soft body that yields to his weight when he has to dig his hips into her for leverage. After stripping him, she guides him with a hand at his hip onto his back and he goes easily, happy as can be to have her straddling his thighs.

"So bloody pretty, bunny." He gets a handful of her tits while she takes his measure, eyes slightly apprehensive but movements eager.

"See why you wanted to stretch me out," she says, and then reaches back to plant one hand on his thigh, giving her enough leverage to rub her soaked cunt up his length.

"Fuck,"> he hisses, palming her mons so he can get a better look. "That's it baby, get me good and wet."

Instead, she stops, eyes him over with those big prey eyes. He's back peddling frantically, palms sliding over her thighs soothingly, trying to find the words to bring her back when she grabs his hands, holds them with twitchy fingers for a moment. "Can I -," she starts, then slides up his forearms and leans forward to fold them over his head. "This okay?"

He's distantly aware there's something important being said here, but he's too distracted by her tits hanging in his face to say much beyond gruff agreement.

She smiles anyway. "Stay there," she instructs, then returns to her ministrations.

She's so wet he can hear it, the soft noises mingling with her huffy breaths. He grabs the bottom of the headboard, the temptation to reach out and guide her already testing him. It's torture, really - the way she presses his cock into her slick folds with the flat of her hand, watching her eyes flutter when the head of him catches on her entrance. He twitches and she sinks a centimeter, sighs at the stretch.

"Bunny," he hedges, but she shakes her head, pace tectonic as she rocks herself on the scrap of flesh she's found.

"Stay there," she says again, voice gone reedy. He groans but nods, readjusting his grip.

He must make for a pathetic sight because she takes pity, sinks another centimeter or so. She squeezes him so sweetly it's hard to contain his noises, and he's sure he sounds like a bellows when she starts rubbing her clit again, her walls fluttering around him.

"Do you mind it?" She asks and he huffs, not quite human.

"Mind it?"

She leans forward to plant her hands on his arms. He doesn't whimper when it pulls her near completely off his cock, he doesn't. "This?" She clarifies, squeezing the meat of his ulnas.

"Oh." He blinks, thoughts slow and sticky. He wants to touch her, but she put him like this because… because…

His tongue feels like it's stuck to the bottom of his mouth. "No, sweetheart. Whatever you need."

She smiles sadly down at him, adjusts her grip on his arms, then sinks fully down his length at an agonizingly slow pace.

"Fuck, baby." He makes no move to help her despite an overwhelming urge to grab two handfuls of ass and just fuck up into her.

Their height difference means she has to crowd over him to keep her hands planted. He leans up for a kiss and she obliges, rubs her clit against the hair at the base of his cock. He's so lost in the feeling of her it takes him a minute to realize she's holding back, hovering just above him when she should be smothering him.

"You're not gonna hurt me, bunny," he mutters into her mouth. She draws back a fraction of an inch to get a good look at him and he nods to where she's made room, just for him. "Sit on it. Properly."

"But -."

"Sit." He's careful to hide any lingering anger from his voice, lets her hear nothing but his desire. It works. She shivers and sinks fully onto him, lips parting as he notches perfectly against the very end of her. Made for each other. "Good rabbit. See how much better that is?"

"Deep," she says, about all she can manage.

He chuckles, maybe a little mean. "Right where you need me. Right where I'm s'posed to be. Ride me, rabbit. Show me how you like it."

She does: a slow grind that keeps him buried, barely raising herself off him. She leans forward more so than up. It keeps her sensitive little clit pressed close to his curls and has the added benefit of swinging her tits into his face. He latches on when the noises he makes venture too far from human, smothering his grunts in her soft flesh. He wants to bite her, mark her. Flip her onto the bed and scruff her while he fucks her from behind. He wants to tear the throat out of the man who came before him who's left her like this. Instead, he growls low words of encouragement into her flesh, tilts his hips ever so slightly up when the cant of her own interferes with her rhythm. It doesn't take her long after that.

"John," she pants, "please."

"Please what, baby?" He scrapes his teeth over the beard burn in her cleavage, feels her grip on his forearms flex.

"I need… I need…" she raises herself half off him, gives him room to move. It's the furthest she's been from him since bottoming out and he nearly growls in displeasure.

Instead, he says, "Need me to fuck you? Need me to make it better?"

"Yes, please, John."

"Let me hear it."

She looks lost between pouting and shuddering. Answers him anyway, "John, please, need you to fix it. Fuck me, John, please."

"That's it, bunny. Keep talking," he says, and then he gives her what she wants - fucking up into her with long, precise thrusts that leave her gasping. She doesn't exactly keep talking, but the noises that spill from her lips are even better, combining with the sounds of her slick cunt, the quiet slap of his balls.

"Gonna -," she tries. Doesn't make it much further.

"Yeah you are. Play with your clit for me. You gonna drench me again?" She shakes her head and he laughs - too mean, but she doesn't seem to notice. "Yes you will. Let me touch that pretty pussy, sweetheart. Just wanna feel." Whether she remembers why he wasn't allowed to touch or not, she doesn't need any more convincing than that. She nods, leans fully back to plant her hands on his thighs and resumes the pace he'd set. Like this, he feels himself notch impossibly deeper and with just a few more thrusts, he gets his palm flat on her, thumb at her clit and then she's soaking him again, damn near sobbing, squeezing him so hard he's briefly worried she'll take it with her when she's done with it. He's helpless but to follow, a long groan of her name he's sure she can't understand for how animalistic his voice has gone.

No sooner does she slide off him than he's pulling her to his chest, rolling them onto their sides so he can kiss her stupid. He's still got the one arm tucked over his head, but she pulls it down to thread their fingers together and that's it for him. Put a fork in him, all that. ---

If he takes measure of her finger while they're interlaced, well, it's no worse than her deciding where to hang the fern later

***

From his vantage point behind the kitchen saloon doors, Simon watches as Johnny carouses the customers, keeps drinks topped. He's good at it. Friendly in that way Simon never was. Got a face like a puppy, honest and endearing.

Plays at snarling when he needs to.

The Texan's new, which in itself doesn't say much. Glacier's no stranger to strangers. What is odd - what has Simon considering adding the roll of 'bouncer' to his ever-growing job description - is the way this particular stranger is instantly asking after John's bird.

It had started off innocent enough, from what Simon's been able to piece together since he started paying attention. The man came in, ordered a beer, and nursed it all by his lonesome at the end of the bar. Eventually he'd asked Johnny if he'd seen the bird, as apparently the two were supposed to meet up. Johnny, not thinking much of it at the time, had said no but she'd probably be around sooner or later. That had been four hours ago.

Every half hour, Johnny tries to sell the man on a new beer. He always refuses, content to waste space at the bar on what's turning out to be a surprisingly busy Tuesday. Two hours ago, Johnny had suggested the possibility that the bird had stood him up. The man took it in stride, saying he quite liked it where he was and was content to stay even without company. One hour ago, he'd been told to either order something or leave. He'd ordered an appetizer, hadn't touched it since.

The questions had started right about the time Johnny had begun snarling, the man evidently completely unconcerned by the fact he'd been figured out. He asks Johnny how he knows the bird, when's the last time he saw her, if she has a job out this way. Johnny, of course, clever pup, gives him the runaround. The man does the same when Johnny returns fire.

The final straw is when he starts asking about John.

"Say, who's the owner here anyway?" The man asks, cocky grin still firmly in place.

To his credit, Johnny doesn't do much as flinch. "Dunno, never met him."

"Now I find that hard to believe, small place like this. You don't even know the man's name?"

"You need a box for that?" Johnny nods at the untouched plate of food.

The man slides it across the bar, shaking his head. "Toss it. You know, I looked this place up 'fore I came in. I could tell you your boss's name, if you want. He's from 'cross the pond, too. Thought that was odd. See, I think you know your boss's name. I think y'all know each other real well, in fact. And I think you know why I don't want him 'round my girl, don't you?" His voice drops, conspiratorial. "Dangerous men, y'all."

#bearshifter!price #captain john price x you #captain john price x reader #john price x you #john price x reader #bear!price #fatted rabbit

[katarinaeviswrld]

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𝓶𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓮 𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 !!

ft. the strawhats

a/n: going to see ayesha erotica tonight, omg what if she signs my right tiddy

what movies do the straw hats like?

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18+ !! MINORS DNI

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cw: my headcanons, if u don’t agree that’s fine just writing them cause it’s silly, grammar lowk rn cause im crazy

tags ✮⋆˙ crack fic, i just randomly thought of this and immediately had to write it on docs lmao, if it’s ooc i lowk don’t care

luffy

not say saying this to infantalize lil bro but i see him unironically into how to train ur dragon and mostly likely watched it over 100x. but tbh, i don’t blame him bc the movies are lowk gas so.

i also see him getting riled up over king kong vs godzilla or just any action movies like marvel. oh and he would definitely headcanon the crew as different marvel characters for funsies.

probably kins brad pitt

zoro

you cannot fucking tell me bro doesn’t watch kill bill or any bruce lee movie.

definitely got scolded by nami when she found him recreating a scene from charlie’s angels.

idk i don’t got a lot to say about him bc i feel like bro’s just interests are self-explanatory. he definitely is against the whole romance sappy shit.

nami

my girl loves some cute ass rom-coms, i can feel it. she definitely eats up 13-going-on-30 or 10 things i hate about you.

oh, she eats up telenovelas…who cares if it’s in another language, if it involves love, angst, and death, she don’t care. on the wings of love~

definitely cried watching marley and me, cannot tell me otherwise

usopp

this man is watching the rom coms with nami. he unironically loves romance movies. sure, he’ll watch a few action movies but come on…bro was prolly watching the new sydney sweeney movie his bestie (nami).

nami will invite him to the library while the whole crew is asleep for silly sleepovers. they’ll put on a random rom com while gossiping and giving eachother spa days.

him and nami were holding eachother while sobbing after watching the ending to marley and me for the 10th time.

sanji

watches any movie that discusses the beauty of culinary art.

he definitely enjoyed watching the menu and became fascinated with the horror elements that complimented a “sophisticated work of art.” oh and prolly watched the american girl movie with olivia rodrigo as grace (cause she’s like a baker in the movie lmao).

*sigh* ok so like he prolly LOVES titanic and imagine rose as nami. prolly tried sneaking into usopp and nami’s sleepover but got his ass beat cause he wasn’t chill enough to come ova.

robin

ik she into them campy movies or horror but mostly psycho horror. in terms of camp, definitely the devil wears prada. for horror, she’d prolly like bodies bodies bodies (lemme sit on it ill prolly change it later) or she’ll like them classics and im not talking about just 80s classic, no, she prolly watching dracula before it had fucking sound.

franky

fucking top gun maverick. bro is the definition of a gen x mom. or prolly crying to a studio ghibli movie or the notebook(?) OR he can be cunty by watching legally blonde bc elle woods is SUPPERRR tbh i think bro’s taste would lowk be diverse.

chopper

mid joining usopp and nami’s sleep over and crying with them to marley and me. or he prolly watching zootopia and would be so amazed bc it’s an allegory for segregation

jinbe

watching that one lowk boring movie about stocks with christian bale. lowk fucks with that one princess diana movie with kristen stewart. yk what, fuck it, he prolly fucks with the godfather.

brook

some stupid ass movie from the 50s?? full on black and white shit. wait, ok, i did a film class and all i can remember was like vertigo which was lowk good and whats up doc.

#one piece #am i cooking #roronoa zoro #monkey d. luffy #usopp #god usopp #nami #vinsmoke sanji #franky #jinbe #nico robin #tony tony chopper #soul king brook #fanfic #crack fic

[mvltiwritez1]

Culinary Genius - Angela Giarratana x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: during a two truths one lie video, Y/n reveals a truth that no one in the office knew.

WARNING(S): light swearing

DISCLAIMER: the truths and lie for Y/n may not be true to you but just imagine. Also not really romance, just a cute scenario.

————————————————————————

Y/n sat across from Angela with the last card in her hand. Angela had guessed each of her lies right and she guessed all of Angela's lies right but she knew that this last round would stump her.

"My first statement is; 'I once broke my wrist doing parkour' Shayne style, second; 'I have read 100 books since January and it is now May' and the last one is; 'I am considered a really good cook'" Y/n read off the options written on the card, a soft smile on her face as she looked back at her. Angela narrowed her eyes at the woman, thinking of a question.

"When did you break your wrist?" She asked, leaning forward. Y/n looked up to remember when.

"I broke it when I was about thirteen/fourteen. I was with a couple of friends and we just liked jumping around on stuff and one time I fell off of a playground structure and completely broke my wrist" She replied, holding up the wrist that went through the trauma. Angela looked at her wrist and nodded, thinking of another question. Murmurs commenced behind them from Amanda, Courtney, and Arasha but Y/n wasn't paying attention to them. She was waiting for another question.

"You're a reader so the 100 books isn't that hard to believe. And of course, I've never heard anyone talk about your cooking skills. I think it would've come up" Angela thought aloud and Y/n tilted her head innocently.

"I think you're lying about the 'good cook' thing. It definitely would've come up" Angela continued and Y/n raised her eyebrows slightly and brought her head back upright.

"Is that your final answer?" Y/n asked and Angela nodded, confident from her correct guessing the other rounds. She even went to get her gun but Y/n quickly reached for hers and shot at her first, causing Angela to gasp and look up at Y/n in surprise. She grinned widely at Angela and set the gun down, as well as her.

"What?! You're a 'really good' cook?!" Angela put air quotes over 'really good'. Y/n nodded, chuckling slightly. Angela looked at the camera and then at the gallery, seeing different surprised looks on the others' faces.

"No one knew but I learned a lot about cooking all my life. Family recipes, techniques for different cooking styles. Some people who have tried my cooking have told me I'm 'really good' it's not just a self title" Y/n scratched at the back of her neck nervously.

"That's crazy. You need to show me your skills soon" Angela chuckled. Y/n shrugged.

"I'm down" She replied, Angela smiled.

"Aweeee it's a little date" Amanda said in a baby voice and everyone laughed.

"Wait. What was the lie?" Angela asked and Y/n went to answer her question.

——

When they were done filming, Y/n's shirt had somewhat dried but she still brought another shirt to change into so she went to her bag at her desk and got the shirt so she could change in the gender neutral bathroom.

She was looking at her phone as she walked towards the bathroom, she collided with someone but quickly caught them before they could both fall. Y/n dropped her phone accidentally but focused her eyes and found Angela in her arms, flustered. Y/n smiled and helped her get back to her feet.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention" Angela blushed, picking up a bag off of the floor. It was probably a change of clothes as well. Y/n picked up her phone and held her new shirt tighter in her hand, checking the screen.

"It's no problem, I shouldn't have been on my phone" Y/n chuckled and put her phone in her pocket before looking back at Angela.

"Well I'll see you later" the brunette said, recovering from being caught. She left and Y/n continued on her route to the bathroom, having an idea.

——

The work day was done and Y/n set her bag on the hook near the door, taking her laptop out of the bag. She set it down on her couch before immediately going back out to bring her groceries into her apartment.

She had decided to make one of her signature grilled sandwiches, simple but did the job. She thought back to the time that she and Angela had lunch and the brunette ordered a plain grilled cheese. Y/n wanted to make it the way she usually did which was normally with sourdough bread, compound butter - to add an acidity and extra flavour to the bread - and sliced marble cheese. She wouldn't make Angela's until lunch the next day but she blended the butter with parsley, lemon juice, and a little bit of red wine vinegar. Y/n also put the butter in a container, ready to take to the office tomorrow.

Dinner for her was just one of those sandwiches since they were quite easy to make. Y/n changed out of her work clothes and brought up Angela's contact on her phone.

Y/n<3: Hey I just want to say, don't bring lunch tomorrow. Or buy it, ok? Also meet me in the kitchen at lunch.

Angela shortly replied,

Ange: ok...why?

Y/n<3: Can't tell you, it's a surprise ;)

Ange: lol alrighty then

Angela probably thought Y/n was crazy but she decided to go along with it.

——

Angela got done filming a Smosh Games video and Amanda walked up to her, a smile on her face.

"Lunch?" Amanda asked, seemingly knowing the answer.

"Sorry 'Manda, Y/n told me not to get anything for lunch and meet her in the kitchen and I said I would." Angela looked apologetic, Amanda smirked and raised her eyebrows.

"She's going to cook for you. She kept her word" Angela actually had forgotten what they'd filmed the previous day. It was close to the end of the week so that was bound to happen. Her eyes widened and Amanda chuckled.

"Enjoy Ange" Amanda said and went up to Courtney, striking a conversation with them.

Angela walked to the kitchen and saw Y/n in there, setting some things up. Angela smiled softly and walked in, causing Y/n to look up.

"Hey! You must've been wondering why I asked you not to get lunch or bring one" Y/n leaned against the counter, her uncovered arms holding her up as she looked at the slightly shorter woman.

"Well I think I know why now" Angela chuckled and approached the island in the kitchen, looking at the ingredients.

"What are you making?" She asked and Y/n smiled back at her.

"I'm glad you asked, I'm making a grilled cheese" Y/n said confidently and Angela snickered.

"Hey, don't disrespect my sandwich game baby" Y/n stood up fully and reached for the sourdough. Angela blushed at the pet name but cleared her throat to calm herself.

Y/n took the butter container and a butter knife and spread the butter on the pieces of bread, parsley in with the butter as well. Angela looked in confusion.

"What's that?" She knew how to cook, pretty well actually but she hadn't expected something other than butter.

"It's compound butter. Usually people use this stuff for enhancing the flavour in meats, vegetables, and even baked goods but I use it for sandwiches sometimes" Y/n explained and walked over to the pan on the stove with a plate of ingredients. Angela nodded, watching the process in interest.

"Is there anything extra you want on it? Or just cheese" Y/n asked, placing one of the pieces of buttered bread in the pan as well as the cheese.

"No thank you" She smiled. She kind of felt like a child but was excited about trying whatever Y/n cooked. Y/n smiled and nodded, putting the top piece of bread on the sandwich, closing it off. She turned the stove on and turned around to face Angela.

"You know you really didn't have to do this." Angela continued, her back leaning against the kitchen island. Y/n shrugged her shoulders.

"I said I would cook for you and this was an easy way to do so. Though it's a bit of a bummer it's not fancy" Y/n joked at that last bit. She then turned around and checked the bottom of the sandwich, it was a perfect golden brown so she flipped it over to cook the other side.

"Dude, you're literally making me a sandwich for lunch because you said you could cook. It doesn't have to be fancy. It didn't even have to happen" Angela said, stepping closer to Y/n. She stood beside her at the stove and looked at the sandwich, it looked amazing already.

"It's almost done" Y/n looked at Angela before pressing down on the sandwich to fully cook the other side and make sure the cheese is melted.

Soon enough, Y/n checked the other side and turned the stove off once she saw the golden brown colour on the bread. She then plated it and gave it to Angela.

"Your lunch Madam" Y/n put on a terrible English accent and Angela laughed as she grabbed the plate.

"Aren't you going to have one? Because I can wait" Angela asked and Y/n smiled at the respectful nature of Angela when it came to this.

"I already made one this morning so let's go sit" Y/n replied, dropping the accent. She would go back and wash everything she used after being done with lunch.

They both walked out and sat in the seating area. Angela let it cool off while Y/n opened her lunch bag, pulling out a sandwich cut into triangles.

They both took a bite at the same time. Flavour bursted in Angela's mouth and she made a noise in surprise. Y/n watched her and gauged her reaction to be positive. Angela took another bite as Amanda and Courtney sat at their table.

"Hey guys. What did you make?" Amanda asked, sitting down with a salad.

"I made a grilled cheese for her" Y/n replied and Courtney's eyebrows rose.

"Oh! Is Y/n's cooking skills as good as she says?" Courtney asked Angela. The brunette hadn't said anything yet but she looked up at them, a closed smile on her face. She nodded enthusiastically and Y/n blushed.

"Now I'm wishing I didn't get a salad" Amanda joked, winking at Y/n, Y/n and Courtney laughed.

"Honestly that sandwich smells really good. And I'm not usually a sandwich girlie" Courtney said, patting Y/n on the back softly.

"Thank you thank you. They're my specialty" Y/n flipped her hair jokingly as Angela finished off the sandwich.

"Good?" Y/n asked.

"So good. Holy shit Y/n, why did you hide this skill from us?" Angela asked and Y/n chuckled.

"Well I didn't hide it per se. I just never brought it up" Y/n smiled cheekily.

#angela giarratana #fanfic #angela giarratana x reader #oneshot #smosh #writing #angela giarratana x fem reader #writers block

[rosy-crow]

Yeah, after watching the teaser, I’m really starting to think Square is doing the Arcane thing.

I’ve been talking about it with @altocat for a while now, and I feel like it’s starting to get real. So, this is just gonna be my final theory for the story until proven otherwise.

Spoilers for Arcane: League of Legends, but for anyone that doesn’t know, basically Arcane adapted LOL and developed one of their most iconic villains, Jinx, into a very well-written character with a story that showed you exactly who she was and why she eventually lost her mind. Before this show, she was probably about as developed as Seph was in the OG.

Even though Jinx is more flamboyant and emotionally chaotic, she and Seph are weirdly similar villains from what I’ve seen. Seph reminds me a LOT of Jinx and vice-versa. I’ve even drawn them together and compared their designs—it’s funny how mad villains in video games tend to have key similar design points, even down to hair-styles and clothing, but I’ll save that for another post lol.

Anyway, from the FS teaser it looks like we have a big climax in that ultimately leads to this scene with Seph and Rosen, who have been set up to be mirrors of each other.

All I know is that the trailer showed Rosen telling Seph to make a choice about which life he wanted to save (Japanese version made this a bit clearer), and the other lives in danger are Team Glenn. Seph is gonna have to choose between them, and….well, since we know Team Glenn lives….uhh…and also….

Rosen’s dog is trying to alert the others of something. Seph made a choice or did SOMETHING, and I thiiiink it’s gonna result in Rosen’s death. Whether it was intentional or an accident, we don’t know, but it’s clear this is when sane Seph when was still good and caring, even if a little psychologically stunted and conditioned because of Shinra. He’s been consistently this way throughout the First Soldier and doesn’t change until Nibelheim.

But I get the feeling everything went wrong with Rosen. That’s why Glenn is at odds with Seph years later.

This is also why we’re getting Arcane vibes. If it’s a misunderstanding or rift caused by Seph’s intentions to save his friends…well, that’s very familiar to this notorious Arcane scene:

Basically, Jinx…or Powder, as she’s known here, makes a drastic decision to save her friends and sister from genuine danger. However, her own talents are her worst enemy, and she causes twice as much destruction as the enemies her friends were struggling with. Almost everyone ends up dead, except for Powder’s sister. It was a horrific mistake and creates a massive rift between Powder and Vi (that’s the sister).

Vi also cements the idea in Powder’s mind that she’s a “jinx” or a curse of sorts. A complex that Powder had already been struggling with, and one she later embraces as her persona.

Glenn and young Sephiroth have been established to have a bit of a brotherly relationship so far, with Glenn being the down-to-earth and honest older source of influence. There was also the whole arc between these two revolving around Glenn initially calling Sephiroth a “cyborg” as an insult to say the kid was modified and different, not a “normal human.” This lowkey came off like a deliberate reference to Sephiroth’s later meltdown over not being human, yeah?

So you guys see what I mean, the themes here are similar to Arcane and Jinx’s psychology. If Seph makes some fatal mistake or a bad choice to save his team, and they walk in on this? Or get the wrong idea? Yeah, it’s gonna turn what was supposed to be an act of heroism into something much worse. It’s also gonna be the perfect reference to Seph’s later big moment in canon…errr, Nibelheim itself, where he just embraces inhumanity and finally goes berserk against everyone’s expectations, traumatizing the main protagonist and his eventual rival in the process.

Again, the theme of “tragic mistake paralleling or foreshadowing a villain’s first deliberate act of cruelty and evil” would be VERY similar to what happens with Jinx in Arcane.

I’m not saying SE is doing this on purpose, really, but the shared themes of identity collapse and “monsters you created” between Arcane and FF7’s main “mad villains” are interesting. Their stories obviously will play out differently, but it wouldn’t surprise me if The First Soldier ultimately culminates in a life-altering decision that Sephiroth makes, one that does NOT end well and births that conflict between him and Glenn.

That’s my theory for now. These teasers are convincing me more and more. We’ll see.

#i wonder if i’m right but i have the biggest gut feeling #also do NOT ask me about jinx and seph parallels i will never stfu #fjghfh #they are my favorite evil children #but GOD their stories hurt me #i’m ready for this to come full circle #young sephiroth #sephiroth #miniroth #jinx #powder #arcane #ff7 #the first soldier #ever crisis #CrowPosts

[carmypen]

Six Sentence Sunday-Free falling edition

#ignore me #carmy writes fic #another thing that will probably get changed later #I think it’s a little too direct I don’t think even in post canon Eiji & Ankh could easily admit even to themselves how they feel #but I also enjoy pain & suffering so I’m probably biased

[nattikay]

gentle reminder that the A2 script pages that have been going around from the Blu-ray bonuses are from an old/outdated version of the script, and anything that isn't shown in the final film cannot automatically be considered canon, whether it's scene/dialogue changes, character details, lore details, etc.

Stuff gets changed and/or cut for a reason, be it because they didn't have time for it, decided to go in a different direction for the character/lore, decided the scene should be moved to a later movie, or anything else.

It's fun to see alternate versions of the story that could-have-been, and if you want to play with concepts based on the script in headcanon or fanfiction, feel free of course...but be very very cautious about considering any of it "canon" until/unless another source confirms it (such as how the Tsu'tey's Path comics confirm some of the A1 deleted scenes).

#avatar #avatar 2 #avatar the way of water #atwow #i highly suspect that the kiri clone thing *is* still canon and was just moved to a later movie #as i've already been theorizing that to be her origin for like a year lol #but until it's actually confirmed on-screen (or in another canon source but something like this will probably be on-screen) #it technically still needs to be taken with a grain of salt #also the “baby pod” thing. it was removed for a reason #is it still canon to the lore? maybe but we just don't know #maybe it was cut for time. maybe it was cut for being too graphic. or maybe it was cut because they simply changed their minds about it #if you wanna write a fic involving these “pods” feel free of course have fun #but personally I really don't vibe with it. it's pushing the “weird” boundary just a tad too far for me #and I will be considering it fully scrapped/non-canon until/unless confirmed by a different source #also we get a glimpse of Neteyam's birth in The High Ground with no mention or depiction of these “pods” so...take that as you will

[katyspersonal]

I know we don't talk and there's stuff we may not agree with. But I am truly sorry you've dealt with a lot of drama over fictional crap. And I'm sorry if my posts in the past ever contributed to that. Hope you have a better day.

Hey... That's all fine, don't worry! After all, it takes a lot of time and Insight to realise that Gehrman is a very gentle and respectful man and Godrick is an absolute gigachad kdkdkshdffhhgfds /lh /lh

But yeah, on a serious note. It was quite frustrating to find out the real motivation under all that... mess was something so pathetic, but at the same time this is what happens when people make engagement with media and fandoms a moral, political act. Not necessarily a problem, after all, I was the one who concluded that the way a fan judges fictional characters and other fans will very well reveal how cruel they are to real people who do something bad, or how much they will forgive based on personal sympathies. And my mad ravings about caring about female characters! I think the problem comes when a fan is so insecure that they have nothing else besides this defence of ideals through fandomry. If your only way to assert yourself is to be a good guy punishing the bad guys, and that mad raving loredigger discovers there is NO bad guy, what is left of you?

This is why it is crucial to have passion for nurturing rather than for undermining! I think if you speak like this, you've found this truth too? This is true that I don't know you very much (mutual-in-law thing), but to be honest.. you didn't poison my fandom experience at all? I tend to never be aware about discourse until someone basically calls me for help fhdhgsdgdfs Can't scout the fandom tag regularly!

But not only it actually was a quite long ago I saw a "negative" post from you, but also I've seen through the posts that my friends liked or reblogged from you that you've actually became very eager person to defend people's passion and interests! I think the post that particularly got stuck with me was when you resented seeing someone's light die after some Redditor asshole "well aktualy"'d a thing they were excited about creating (not exact wording but maybe you remember too)? Like... you are fine, man. At that point I realised that you were a good fan and in the end valued people's creativity and passion over personal preferences. That you never wanted to be THAT guy, even if your interpretation could not be further from someone else's. Coming to terms with what actually matters in fandomry is very mature and I am happy to see this attitude!

I am still glad that you messaged me about this though; I did not expect this, but thank you! I think I will continue getting involved in fictional discourse because my autistic senses cannot ignore factually incorrect takes with a clear insidious motive, and.. eh, sooner or later, I'll piss off the wrong guy again. Don't feel bad for me when it inevitably happens :p I've accepted the shortcomings when I decided to be the debate guy. Simply laughing at some gremlin starting a discourse with the girls in DMs and not stressing over it is only funny until I realise that newer fans could get misinformed right off the bat.

#ask replies #fandomry rambles #sorry this is probably a bit too long and emotional #this topic just makes me remember a lot of stuff.. it is not you! like I mean it my impression has been positive for a while now #I could already sense that you've changed your stance on things before this message and I respect this a lot! #I am just thinking about..... stuff #how there was an actually strongly furious gehrman hater who finally matured and became chill after two years of terrorizing fandom #and I even wrote them a DM saying how much I respected the change.. only to lose them forever a couple of weeks later because of timing LOL #or story of the guy that got driven away from the fandom with fake accusations and slander because he criticised maria when her toxic fans- #-back then were not pretending to 'recognise her flaws too' #or people talking to me how they stopped feeling safe posting in fandom over that crap #like... you did not really hurt me. I knew you had strong opinions but I've noticed more and more based posts on the fandomry topic #there are just many things that make whole fandom situation sad. I am happy to be the part of what helped BB fandom a bit #but I've heard some shit going on in ER fandom and like... yeah I am bound to get into trouble again because I can't sit back and meme #just don't feel bad for me when I end up with another arch enemy because of my autism about lore fhshdffsd

[straykats]

sometimes i entertain the thought of like. everything ending up okay and then i get even more scared and anxious and idk why

#like what if i get a stable job what if i dont have to worry about everyone the way i do rn #what if i do manage to move out what if i do come out and its okay and what if i do get the #confidence to build new relationships and stuff and what if i can cope with my friend moving interstate #and what if my parents splitting becomes the new norm for me and i can manage it and dont break down every second day #and what if i manage to actually work on my original wip on the side #and what if idk i can get published as well #and what if i can come to terms with and move on from all the things that happened in childhood #and what if my brother and i are okay and we can actually have good conversations and what if #im able to reconnect with my cousin and maintain our relationship despite all #and what if my parents are civil with eachother and i can see them in the same room and not worry about whats going to happen #and i can be in their presence without wanting to rio my skin off and i can relax and not mediate every single conversation #and what if i can hug them and what if my friends are right and im not actually a burden #and what if i can still be friends with them and or be at peace with changing relationships #and what if i do manage to pay off all my student debt and other loans i'll probably incur #and what if its like. okay. like. #its such a scary thought and it kight be because it seems so far off and the possibility of it being okay means #that i need to survive this and get through this and thats just another expectation put on me and maybe its scary because #i dont know if i'll be able to meet this expectation either yknow like #its. its a good thing but it seems so stupidly out of reach #you cant imagine what you dont know etcetc #anyways. assignments first existential dread or whatever later #kat talks