#annnnnnyway

[pink-flame]

You're my neck of the, neck of the woods Leave you, babe, I never could Ginger and gestures of goodwill go forth, let go Of sorrow and sadness and spite I'm somebody taller tonight

Neck of the Woods - Maisie Peters

#juke #jatp #julie and the phantoms #my gifs #my edit #jatp edit #maisie peters #neck of the woods #new jatp gifs in 2024 #why not #don't tell me how to ghost #you guys have no idea #I had this idea a full two years ago and could not figure out how to do it #and even now I'm pretty sure I did this the hardest way possible but still #I don't have photoshop ok #I'm a video editor scraping buy with the skills I can carry over and making gifs in final cut pro with the occasional assist from canva #annnnnnyway #I know they're. not perfect but I'm so proud of them #also I want to make like three more sets for Juke with this song because ALL the lyrics fit them so well #but I just loved the idea of all the shared memories they have in that house #they're home for each other in both a literal and metaphorical sense #and that makes me unhinged #so here you go

[khizmet]

I will preface this by saying, I respect anyone's opinion that they have on a fictional character (duh)

But can I just say?? I hate the Hannibal has autism theory so baaaaaad

Like, first and foremost, fuck the DSM. None of us can fit perfectly into any categories that's not how people work anyway. (That being said, it is written and based off studies of white men, so it may hold some significance here.)

Second, I beg you to look up or watch content from people diagnosed with psychopathy or ASPD. A lot of the traits and repetitive behaviors and hyperfixations that people point out are also symptoms of psychopathy.

Like, a lot of the things Hannibal does also align very heavily with OCD. But there are comorbidities and overlap of symptoms, etc.

(None of what I'm saying really matters or holds any water idek why the autism theory bugs me; probably bc I have OCD and am v sensitive to ppl claiming they have it bc they're "neat" or had an intrusive thought of throwing their phone across the room.)

LMAO maybe I talked myself all the way around to not actually hating the theory

#annnnnnyway #ignore me #also hypocritically i feel hannibal leans mostly towards NPD #but a lot of those traits can be explained by other diagnoses #which people with psychopathy can love and it can also look like npd #so all in all #fuck the dsm #we're all right lmao #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #hannibal

[st-louis]

i’m pretty sure the picture with the habs moms was taken pre-game (it’s warmup gear) but i guess that’s not as funny 🙄

#annnnnnyway

[ineffable-hyperfixation]

So I got bored, and haven't played Pokemon Shield in a while. Well I found a Mudbray and a Growlithe right next to each other and...well

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I could find lots of ways to tie them into the characters for fun but like they're doing it themselves

Understatement of the year (they are trying my patience....BE FRIENDS 😆 like every other combo is like "oh they've opened up to each other 🥰" meanwhile these two knuckle heads ".....play? Together????")

ALSO

GIRL YOU'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR THE LAST 5 FLIPPIN TURNS!!! WAKE UP

Edit: I forgot to mention I found them in the rain

#i love them #they are my babies #but like #did you have to embody the characters THIS well?? #i found you #TOGETHER #practically on top of each other omg #annnnnnyways #ineffable husbands #good omens #gomens #good omens 2 #aziracrow #aziraphale and crowley #pokemon #ih originals

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

okay so quick while everyone is talking about tour, i'm posting this for like, ella, me, and a couple other friends.

the funny ridiculous thing about casey mcquiston publicly shitting on taylor and reputation specifically and inserting an outdated taylor dig into red, white & royal blue is that it is such a massive misread of their own characters. like, rwrb is about two men in their early twenties who cause a stir in the tabloids every time they stand next to a woman. and then they turn each other's worlds on their head in like, the blink of an eye, and they start hooking up but it's not supposed to be anything serious but then it very quickly becomes something very serious, completely by accident. everybody is watching these guys and they're trying to protect this delicate beautiful thing they're building. finding love through all the noise. like, i cannot emphasize enough the degree to which rwrb is reputation (2017) in novel form.

also, two of who i would consider the three most important characters (henry, the love interest, and june, the main character's older sister who is the emotional centerpiece of the novel) have the most taylor music taste. henry's playlist has the national, lorde, boygenius, and bon iver on it, and june's has haim, maggie rogers, the national, paramore, lorde, muna, and elle king's cover of american girl by tom petty on it.

in conclusion the distaste for taylor expressed in the text of the novel (the original printings anyway, it's been removed from everything printed after october 2022) is silly because these people would not dislike taylor, they would in fact deeply empathize with her and have a lot in common with her, if they were real.

apologies for the shitty banner

#i also just found it kinda silly that everyone was shocked that casey used to loudly hate taylor #that is evident from reading the book #what is also evident is that they no longer do #since they put mirrorball and gold rush on character playlists for their newest novel #annnnnnyway i have just been thinking thoughts for the past week about this #but i would like this to stay fairly contained so i'm posting when i know people will be distracted #also PLEASE heed the banner #taylor swift #rwrb #<- wish i had a way to tag for those so that it didn't go in the main tag but would still be filtered for my mutuals but alas

[chaosandmarigolds]

Teehee, did everyone around me tell me- ‘coco staying up for forty eight hours to study for exams is not healthy. Drink some water. Take a nap.’ Yes. Now I still have till Tuesday and I want to actually drop out and i dunno- cry?

ANYWAY, I present a lil dribble Drabble because YALL ARE SO GOOD TO ME. 1,300 of you guys like the stuff I write! Yay!

(It’s more mechanic!reader dynamics, bc those make me laugh)

Hypothetically speaking, not really hypothetically it happens routinely now, post mission everyone is a bit worse for wear. You included, so the captain gives everyone a few days to do nothing.

The issue with that? Work-acoholics. You stumble out of bed at six in the morning to get coffee, still in pjs to find Simon in the gym.

“Lt? Oh my god you’re naked.”

To that he gives a glare, reaching for the mask that laid discarded on the box, “Why ‘yer up?”

“Coffee. Why are you working out? You hurt your shoulder….sir.”

“Nun of your business.”

A second passes.

“Okay. does this mean I can go finish up the reports?”

“Ask the captain.”

“He’s gonna say I need to rest!” You would gripe, “I’m fine. I just see double and almost pass out I move too quick. I get the same way if I don’t eat for twelve hours.”

A pause. “You worry me.”

(Annnnnnyway that’s it <3)

#this was mostly a thank you post #so again!! #thank you from the bottom of my heart #yall are amazing #i love you all actually #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #simon riley imagine #simon ghost riley #simon riley fanfic #simon riley x you #cod x you #simon riley x reader #cod fluff #coco's chaos <3 #cod fanfic #call of duty imagine #cod funny #simon riley x y/n #simon fluff #simon x reader #ghost imagine #simon ghost fluff #ghost call of duty

[lets-try-some-writing]

How would the first meeting between the Autobots and the humans have gone? With their more alien and most likely more imposing forms (due to their Cybertronian vehicle modes) I assume the government agents / military personnel sent to investigate were rightfully afraid. (Personally I think seeing 15-30 foot robots with optics that pierce through the presumably kicked up dust would be a little scary) Perhaps they would’ve spoken in a mix of Cybertronian and English? Would they have simply stared and watched, like in your Grim Dark Archives AU? I dunno it’s just something I thought would be interesting, but I already sent you a few requests, so feel free to delete this one. (To clarify this is a request for a longer writing post)

I have thought about this probably more than I should have. Writing The Grim Dark Archives gave me ideas for this ask, hence my IMPOSSIBLY slow response. Annnnnnyway, here you go!

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙

The Autobots had plenty of time to prepare for their inevitable interactions with humanity during their journey. At the time the team consisted of Ratchet, Optimus, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee. As such, they were too few in number to go for any real intimidation tactic, not that they would have gone that route anyway. There was no choice but for them to learn to communicate.

But of course, due to the HIGHLY varying methods of human communication across Earth, it was decided that each of the team would specialize in different methods of communication to ensure that at least someone could talk. Ratchet went the technological way and learned how to communicate in human morse code, the various computer coding languages, and digital texting. He hated every single moment of having to figure it all out, but at least he wasn't Bulkhead. Poor Bulkhead was tasked with learning the more physical methods of communication just in case things went south. He spent hours upon hours watching traditional dances and physical activities from around the world meant to express certain intentions. Let it be said that he is not a good dancer.

Bumblebee of course went down the route of non verbal communication for obvious reasons. He learned all the various sign languages available, practiced miming, learned various whistles, and familiarized himself with music in order to create ambiance as needed. Some species worked differently after all. Optimus for his part actually learned the spoken languages of Earth. Being a former archivist made the process far easier than it otherwise would have been, but he still spent a ridiculous amount of time practicing to get it right. With all of this having been done, when the team finally arrived on Earth, they felt they were ready.

They were incredibly wrong in their assumption.

They spent a handful of weeks undercover, but a few too many security cameras ended up getting them caught. Soon enough they were confronted with quite a few armed vehicles surrounding them and what had to be around a hundred soldiers with weapons raised. The team had learned what surrender looked like and so raised their servos up to show they passivity. That action seemed to give the gathered soldiers pause, and not too long later, a speaker was sent before them.

"I am Agent Fowler from the Department of Defense. What are you and what are you doing here?"

"We are Autobots. We come from the stars."

"You are aliens?"

"Affirmative. We arrived in a spaceship."

"A spaceship?"

"Affirmative. We came to find our bullies."

"Your... *wheeze* bullies?"

"Is that the incorrect term? We seek our... brothers?"

"Right, you came here to find someone. What do you plan on doing here while you hunt them down? Are you planning on blowing anything up?"

"Negative. Combustion of native structures and lifeforms is not on our wishlist."

"Wishlist?"

"Affirmative? Is that not how the term is used? I apologize."

"No no its fine. Let's talk this out."

Optimus did his very best to get the point across, but due to the many similar words in the English language, his ability to use words in context was rather limited. It also did not help that he spoke as though every single word was coming from a script, which unknown to Agent Fowler, he absolutely was reading from his translation program. He was disturbing and hilarious to speak to and Agent Fowler had to step aside and laugh more than once before going back over to the bots to continue talking in a secure facility. But this was noticed rather quickly, and so eventually the team swapped tactics. Optimus stood quietly and stared to try and figure out how to adjust his speech patterns while the rest of the team worked in tandem to communicate differently.

Fowler was not pleased when he had to fetch a technician to try and translate what Ratchet was typing up, which largely amounted to very very complex code going into the extreme details of their situation. Ratchet almost flipped a table when the technician gave up two lines of code in. The medic was not at all happy to have to think about learning the native language. At least with code he could fudge it a bit. But if the squishies couldn't even read the most "basic" of code strings, he was doomed. Bulkhead didn't fare much better in his attempts to dance in various American styles to show how the Autobots were trying to be friendly. His moonwalk was the only thing he was able to do right and all it did was leave the entire collection of human personnel laughing themselves half to death. Humiliated, Bulkhead made way for Bumblebee who managed to convey more vital information through sign language. He got across about as much as Optimus did, but finally there was some sort of answer for the humans present.

Then of course, there was the mess that way asking for names.

"The military will decide what we are going to do with you, but for now you all can stay here. Do you have any names to do with your files?"

"Affirmative. Our names are not pronounceable in your language, but they can be translated."

"Well lay it on me."

"This is Bumbling Bee. Or perhaps Honey Bee? Striped insect? I am afraid I do not have a proper translation."

"Bumblebee it is. What's next? Cargo lift?"

"Negative. This is Dividing Wall."

"Dividing... wall."

"I believe that is the most direct translation. A close synonym would be Bulkhead."

"Right... who is the red one then?"

"My companion is named after a tool on our homeworld. I do not believe you have the exact same tool here. The closest object I could find was the tool you call a ratchet."

"So his name is Ratchet?"

"It is close enough. Is "he" the correct referral for us on your world?"

"You look more masculine, so unless you want to be a she-"

"No, your masculine referral is sufficient."

"What is your name then big guy?"

"I am... Best First? I believe that is the most direct translation of my designation."

"Best First? You must have quite the ego."

"I did not choose my designation, it was given upon my rise to my station. However as my designation seems to be offensive, I will attempt an another translation."

"Wait-"

"Optimus Prime is sufficient. That is the designation by which I believe I can be referred to."

"Alright then. This is going to be a headache."

The Autobots were kept in a facility until the military questioned them more and understood their intentions. But there were more than a few miscommunications and both Ratchet and Bulkhead lamented the many hours spent learning what they now knew to be a useless form of communication.

#transformers #maccadam #transformers prime #team prime #optimus prime #ratchet #bumblebee #bulkhead #agent fowler #cybertronian culture #this was just a goofy thing #and I will never not find it funny that Optimus has a name that literally means best first #dude had no choice but to look arrogant

[nexiscool]

They wont know what hit em when i pull up in my skibidi toilet drip

Annnnnnyways more of Xeno and Zim cause i like drawing them together

#invader zim oc #invader zim #invader zim fanart #zim #zim iz #iz zim #iz oc #invader zim original character #fanart #oc x canon #zim x oc #he would probably kill me but i dont care!!

[flailingkittylover]

Miracle

Well, it's only been *looks at calendar* wow, well over a year since I've been here, holy F.

ANNNNNNYWAY. Aruani will forever have me in a grapple until I'm dead. I can't tap out. I'm stuck here forever T_T

First two chapters are up with more to follow. :)

#aruani #annie leonhardt #armin arlert #shingeki no kyojin #snk #annie leonhart

[pinecone-anon]

TIS I, THE PINECONE ANON

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also known as the one guy

and that little shit

And OH STARS NO ITS HIM

hehehe

Anyways.

For those of you that know me, HI AGAIN

For those of you that don’t, PREPARE FOR IMPACT!

I will be throwing pinecones at you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DNI if….

you are a proshipper

you are a MAP

You dislike swearing

You are a pro-life

You are expecting me to be a therapist for you

you are a LGBTQ+ PHOBE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ALRIGHTY! WE GOT THE BIG BOSS!

THE FOLKS AGAINST THE BIG BOSS! @ask-crow-aus

WE GOT CRIPPLING DEPRESSION!

WE GOT MY… NONEXISTENT CREW!

WE HAVE… whoever those two morons are. *points to Lichen and Neo*

WE HAVE MY FAVORITE PERSON TO TORMENT! @mrfellsans

WE HAVE A TEAM TRYING TO SHUT MY ILLEGAL PINECONE BOMB DEALING BUSINESS DOWN! (Cam, Armored, Neo, Lichen, Pyro, Relin, Nyor, “Creator”, and Maria, all part of @ask-crow-aus)

WE HAVE WHOEVER IS IN THE CORNER CRYING THIS TIME!

WE HAVE THE STAR OF THE SHOW, ME!

AND FINALLY…. WE HAVE PINECONES!!

So… so many pinecones…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I mainly use he/him, but also use they/them!

Mostly looking for comedy, but anything else is fine.

Except extra emotional scenes.

Not good with emotions.

Unless they’re lore related.

those are fine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ASK ME LITERALLY ANYTHING! I HAVE NO LIMITS!

except those already listed, obvi.

DUMB QUESTIONS ARE ALLOWED AND ENCOURAGED!

SMART QUESTIONS ARE ALSO ALLOWED AND ENCOURAGED!

I AM PROBABLY NOT AS SMART AS I LIKE TO BELIEVE, SO DON’T EXPECT ME TO KNOW A LOT OF THE ANSWERS TO YOUR SMART QUESTIONS!

(aka he’s a dumbass)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I HAVE A TENDENCY TO COMMIT… A LOT OF CRIMES!

I DO NOT HAVE A FULL BACKSTORY YET.

ROLEPLAY IS ENCOURAGED.

Don’t tell the boss I said this, but I think Armored is hot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I AM GAY. AND A DEMIBOY.

AND SINGLE AS FUCK

ANNNNNNYWAYS! PINECONE OUT!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE CREATOR THEMSELF WILL BE TALKING IN THIS FONT AND COLOR:

Example Text

#pinecone anon #pinned post #intro post #digital sketch #my art #why is my art like this #Tags are out of character #Slight lore

[crisispider]

Things I've said this morning to other people about Peter B. Parker:

"Swear to god that man would fall in love with a flower if it looked like it smiled at him."

Annnnnnyways Good orning my little starlights! i'm around for a bit. We all love you lots and hope you are all taking care of yourselves, keeping hydrated and fed too!! (Psst you, yeah you. go get a little treat and a sip of water for me pretty please?)

Anyways, i love you all lots. <3

#[ ◉¯] ✧˖° → Big Himbo Energy [ OOC ]

[kayfeefgtrghh]

Fanfic requests (ideas💡)

If anyone is currently writing dbh (Detroit becoming human). Please 🙏 I'd love it so much if you could write these!!!!

1.I'd love a Connor (RK800) X shy reader. Where the reader and Hank are best friends and they talk a lot with them; but with Connor the reader is really quiet and awkward. he gets too close and they stutter. Looks to Hank for help 🤔(Connor)🥺(Reader) 😑(Hank). Annnnnnyway... I loveeeee hurt comforts. Maybe the reader gets picked on and Connor steps in when he finally catches the person/people calling the reader fat etc. (ANGST). But then the reader starts to crush on Connor and avoids them. Fast forward and the reader went for drinks and walked over to Hank (who they thought was by himself) confessing they feel bad for avoiding Connor... who overhears.

2. Ralph X reader where both have trust issues. The reader is human and had a droid who beat her and obviously his issues with humans... They get put in the same house together and one day the reader comes back and cries in their room. He overhears and says, "Ralph wants to help. Please let him help." Eventually the reader gives in and slowly approaches him before cuddling and holding for dear life. "Ralph will keep you safe. Ralph trusts you." And just SUPER FLUFFY 😭😭😭🥰

3. Ralph X plus size reader. He thinks they deserve better because he sees other androids the human hangs out with. The reader admits how he is the only one for them and that they understand. Something about his face insecurity and theirs being their body. Accidentally let's slip people have shamed them for being overweight and Ralph without question admits he thinks they are the most beautiful etc... idk? He sees that it's okay to be insecure in themselves because no matter what he'll always be the reader's priority. That how he sees them as perfect they can see him that way even if not in themselves (hope that makes sense ??😅)

4. Connor X reader. Overhears me talking to Hank about him. "Wouldn't you do the same?"

"Yes. But I can't ask him to do that. To love me all of my life when I can't love him all of his." [I don't see many talking about it from the point of the human reader thinking he's superior. It's always him thinking they deserve better than an android. Id like to see one how I think. I mean they're faster, stronger smarter, and have only been violent when they had to etc better than humans. Thinks he deserves someone who can give him that] 🤧 They all deserve so much better and most humans suck !

Hope anyone reading this post has a good day or night ❤️xo

#dbh connor #request #dbh ralph #detroit become human #writing #fanfic #fanfiction

[joezy27]

HAWKEYE - "The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same"

A Kate Bishop story by Kelly Thompson

My neighbor across the street is trying to kill us all.

Okay, wait. We gotta go back further. Let’s see…where to start?

I broke my leg.

Actually, that’s inaccurate, Ladder Man broke my leg while I was doing super hero stuff during the pandemic. Oh yeah, the pandemic. Context. Stories have to have context. So let’s go further back. This is the last time, I promise.

Nobody ever expected this to happen. I mean, we were all waiting for the apocalypse of course... a zombie one, a nuclear winter one, even a sharknado one…but the one where you have to stay home for months on end by yourself and watch your life and loved ones slip away either metaphorically or literally or both? Yeah, nobody wrote stories about that. You know why? Because it sucks. And it’s boring. And nobody would sign up for it! I would fight a thousand zombie hordes before I’d be trapped in this uncertainty again. But we do what we have to do for the safety of ourselves and others. Even when the ask is huge. Even when the ask is weird.

And I am who I am, so I wanted to do more, I wanted to help. Heck, I needed to help, it might be compulsive, but let’s put a pin in that for now.

Annnnnnyway, while I’m someone with some very particular and impressive skills, I’m not skilled at everything. In fact, I’m bad at a lot.

The masks I tried to sew? They were bad. Very very bad.

The website I tried to build for Ramone to help her surf shop get through the shutdown? She fired me. Do you know how bad a website has to be to get your best friend—who is not paying you—to fire you? Yeah. It was that bad.

I did successfully donate blood, but there’s only so much blood you can donate, and only so many cookies you can eat. Well, okay, you can probably eat infinite cookies, and have a great time doing it, but not if you ever want to fit into your costume again. Like, a form-fitting costume with hip holes is not forgiving, people.

But it turns out—surprise surprise!—that Super Villains are not exactly great at following the rules. In fact, they see nothing but opportunity in times of crisis. So, yeah, Super Villain activity spiked real fast. Just in Venice Beach alone we were lousy with villains making trouble. I put up some personal bests as far as taking down jerks.

But…and here we get to the relevant leg bit. I was fighting Ladder Man and his ridiculous “stepstool minions” three days ago with Johnny and Ramone Watts, who most people know as Fuse and Alloy, brother and sister Super Heroes, who also happen to be two of my absolute favorite people on the planet. But I digress, Ladder Man, in a deeply Super Villain—deeply jerk move—broke my futzing leg. Small sidebar: he didn’t actually set my leg but I saw Doctor Mole at the hospital and that guy is just terrific, anyone that tells you he isn’t the best part of ‘The Mole Men of Los Angeles Reality Show’ is…well, they’re just plain wrong.

So. The Leg. Compound fracture. Healing time: 3 to 6 months. Total disaster.

And there we have it, after a solid little run of feeling like I was actually doing some good, I’m back to being stuck inside…can’t sew masks, can’t build websites, can’t donate blood, can’t donate money (did I mention I’m broke?), and can’t fight Super Villains. In fact, I’m more dependent than ever on the kindness of friends…and sometimes strangers…aka some guy that works in Ramone’s surf shop brought me a burrito today. Best burrito I’ve ever eaten. That man is a hero.

So I’m back to feeling useless. Or So. I. Thought.

Because the neighbor across the street from me is 100% a Super Villain and now I just have to convince Johnny that I’m right. This should go well. It starts when he finds that the floor by the window (and also his favorite jacket) are soaking wet.

“Kate, why is the floor all wet over here…and wait, what happened to my jacket?”

I wheel my seen-better-days wheelchair toward him, slightly sheepish, “Well. It’s a long story.”

“Ten words or less, please.”

“Ice arrow,” I say.

“All right. You can have more than ten words, explain.”

“I discovered that our neighbor across the street is a Super Villain, and in an attempt to expose him and thwart his evil plans I carved an arrow out of ice and shot it into his apartment.”

Johnny stares at me for a long moment, his mouth slightly open. “I have so many questions. Let’s start with why did you need an ice arrow? You have hundreds of arrows laying around, I am literally constantly getting stabbed by them.”

“Well, he’s got that huge window you see—with all those individual panes of glass. And I needed to break one of those panes…but I didn’t want there to be any evidence left behind that I had done that…so the ice arrow melts. Leaves nothing behind. Cool, right?”

“You learned this from a movie.” He says it. It’s not a question. I want to deny it but he knows me too well. Of course I learned it from a movie. He sighs, “I still don’t understand why it’s wet in here.”

“Well, carving an ice arrow is harder than you might think. A lot of trial and error.”

“Is that why you have eleventy billion Band-Aids on your hands?”

I forgot about the Band-Aids. I raise my hand, “Well, if you must know, some of them are from when I burned myself while making a grilled cheese sandwich earlier.”

“Okay, so you broke into this man’s house?”

I scrunch up my nose, “I feel like it’s more of a grey area than a clear break-in, but sure,” I shrug and shove a pair of binoculars at him, “Do me a favor though and take a good look.” Johnny raises the binoculars to his face and scans the villain’s apartment. A moment later he gasps and in excitement I do as well. “Did you see it!?”

He looks down at me, the binoculars still in his hands, “He has a whole huge closet full of …GASP!...toilet paper! DUN DUN DUN!” My smile fades. Johnny teases me, “Hoarding valuable supplies might make him a terrible member of his community, but I’m not sure it qualifies him as a Super Villain.”

I roll my eyes, “That’s not what you’re looking for dum-dum. Look again. To the left of the closet.”

Johnny scans again with the binoculars; I bump him, pushing the view left, “Left, I said!” After a long pause I can tell he’s found it, so I start babbling, “He’s got one of those creepy ‘Super Villain bulletin boards’ full of his plans—look there’s news articles, schematics, and notes all over…he’s even got little red strings connecting things!”

Johnny lowers the binoculars again, slowly this time. He looks over at me, expressionless and gesturing to the wall beside us, “You mean one of those crazy bulletin boards like this one of yours?”

I follow his gaze to my bulletin board and roll my eyes again, “Uh. That is clearly a crazy super hero bulletin board, not Super Villain. The differences are subtle but important.” His phone pings violently a few times and I try hard to talk over it, “For example my board has a bunch of low level thugs that I’m trying to tie to a bigger fish…whereas his board has the schematics of a local hospital, an insane number of articles on the pandemic, and--”

“Uh-huh,” he says unconvincingly while handing me back the binoculars, “Tell me this, Kate, if it’s really an evil bulletin board, why would he have it out in plain view…and with his shades wide open?”

I sit back in the chair, pleased with myself, “Well, you see, the bulletin board wasn’t visible. I saw just a peek of it last night when he was home looking at it…but then he covered it up with that drape when he left,” I gesture vaguely at the window and Fuse squints his eyes in that direction again. “And then this afternoon, after breaking the window pane with my first ice arrow, I used the second ice arrow to cut the cord to the drape. See how it’s fallen to the ground?”

Johnny squints at the apartment again, still not convinced. “So, you broke this man’s window and then wrecked some of his property because you saw the faintest hint of a Super Villain plan and--”

I interrupt him, waving my hands, “It doesn’t matter why I did it, I was right!”

Johnny glances down at his phone a finger raised that I should wait a moment. I huff out an impatient breath. When he’s done he looks at me. It’s a look full of kindness and compassion, but I can tell he doesn’t believe me. “Maybe he’s just a doctor, Kate.”

I frown deeply. “What doctor has a villain board, let alone schematics of his hospital?”

Johnny smiles at me as his phone keeps pinging, “We can talk more about this later but don’t do anything, okay?” He kisses me on the forehead and walks away from me.

“Wait! You’re leaving?” I roll after him, sliiiightly desperate.

Johnny turns back to me, “Kate. I know you’re going stir crazy in here, but you need to channel yourself in another direction, you already wrecked this guy’s window, don’t push it. It’s too easy for your imagination to run wild with this, but you gotta reign it in before you do something you can’t take back,” Johnny glances at his phone again, “I have to go deal with this horrible thing in Malibu, but I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

I sigh, defeated. And jealous that he gets to leave and deal with something horrible. I wish I could go deal with something horrible.

After the door closes I turn back to the apartment across the street, staring at his crazy villain board through my binoculars. “Guess I’ll just deal with something horrible from here,” I say to myself dramatically.

Four hours and six pop-tarts later I’m struggling to stay awake at my post by the window when my phone pings, jolting me back to full consciousness. A text from Johnny, sent…45 minutes ago!

JOHNNY: Maybe you’re right. It IS weird that a doctor would have schematics of his hospital. I’ll swing by his place on my way home and feel him out a bit. *heart emoji*

“Ahhhhh!” I scream and reach clumsily for the binoculars, which promptly fall off my lap, with my phone. As I reach for them, the light clicks on across the street. My villain is home. I click off my only light and stare. Johnny might need the binoculars, but my eyesight is as good as it gets, I’m a futzing Hawkeye after all. But my eyes are best when I’m holding a bow, so I raise it and nock an arrow for good measure.

Tracking my villain across his apartment feels so right…and also a little bit wrong. What if I am wrong?

My villain looks with a wrinkled brow at his bulletin board, now naked and exposed in his apartment. He moves to the fallen drape and picks it up, confused. He crouches down and touches his carpet—probably still a bit wet from my second melted ice arrow. The crease in his brow deepens and his eyes narrow. He finally clocks the broken windowpane. He comes to the window and examines it. And then he just looks out the window. Directly at my apartment. But it’s dark here and I don’t move. It’s not my first day.

He squints his eyes and it feels like he’s looking right through me. I don’t even breathe. He eventually turns his head and I exhale lightly. But I can’t help but gasp when I see him open his front door to reveal Johnny. Handsome and kind and just trying to do the right thing. A smile in his eyes since his mask covers the one surely on his mouth. Due to the mask I can’t read Johnny’s lips, a skill the other Hawkeye, Clint Barton, has taught me, but I imagine it’s something adorable and heroic, as is Johnny’s way.

The villain gestures him inside and it’s all I can do not to scream. Johnny, being the polite, and very strong guy that he is, goes inside, unafraid and trusting. Before he can even get all the way inside the villain slams a comically huge vase over his head. Johnny is down. I curse his kindness. He could have walked in there made of futzing vibranium…but he probably didn’t want to scare the guy, so he went in made of stupid, highly vulnerable, bones and blood.

Well, my villain has picked the wrong guy to hit from behind with a heavy object. As the villain rifles around in a cabinet (probably looking for something evil), I don’t even hesitate to fire my already nocked arrow. It slams into the fabric of his dress shirt and pins his shirt to the cabinet with a satisfying THWACK. He yells and I can hear it from here thanks to the broken window. He spins wildly trying to see who’s attacking him while also trying to wrench himself free of the cabinet.

As I nock another arrow he manages to spin out of his shirt. Now free, he moves as fast as he can to get away from the windows. I fire my second arrow. It’s not for him.

This arrow crashes violently through not just glass but some of the wood that holds the panes together. It’s a catastrophic structure failure and leaves a gaping open hole to his apartment. My villain looks up from under the arms he was using to protect himself, which is when I release my third arrow. It sails into his apartment almost happily and when it hits some of his cabinetry with a sharp ping it explodes into a hail of lights, temporarily blinding him.

My villain scrambles to his feet and I fire the fourth arrow. It hits him right in the chest. As intended. Safety Foam arrow has a harmless tip and then explodes into a sticky ..well…”safety foam” that—without help—he’ll still be struggling to get out of in three days. I watch for long seconds as my villain struggles and cusses and Johnny remains passed out on his floor. But Johnny is bleeding pretty badly. I pull another arrow and fire it across the street into the wall of the building. I anchor the other end in my apartment.

I grab my phone, re-secure my mask and with a considerable amount of effort heft myself, broken leg and all, out of my apartment window and onto the secured cabling line. Fortunately the villain’s apartment is slightly lower than mine, so with some painful but efficient scooching, I’m able to use my bow and slide down the line straight into my villain’s apartment. I bump up against his building with an impressive but painful thud and sort of half-toss myself off the line and into the apartment. I clear most of the glass. Ouch.

I crawl across the floor as my villain cusses at me and squirms. “Oh, just shut up!” I finally say as I inch past him in his slightly crunchy and slightly sticky safety foam prison. I get to Johnny and yank a towel down off the counter and press it to his bleeding head. He groans, I think, appreciatively.

I lay down next to Johnny, exhausted but pleased. I keep the towel pressed to his head and pull out my mobile phone and dial my very good friend that doesn’t think I’m annoying at all, Detective Rivera.

“Bishop. The world is in extreme crisis, make it fast.”

“I need you to come here…and bring an ambulance, I airdropped you my location.”

There’s a long pause, “This is across the street from your apartment. What have you done?”

“Saved the day, as per usual. I’m making a citizen’s arrest…or an off-duty Super Hero arrest—whatever, you can decide what the paperwork situation is—annnnyway, I am arresting this villain across the street from me that not only hit Johnny with a very heavy vase but also has detailed plans in his apartment about blowing up the hospital…apparently as a way of…” I roll my eyes and raise my voice, “…stopping the virus…is that right, sir?” My villain bangs his head lightly on the floor. He hates me.

Rivera sighs deeply on the other end, “Ambulance is on its way, Bishop. Walk me through the whole thing.”

“Well, you see, Rivera, it all began with this idea I had about ice arrows…”

                                                     FIN

#Hawkeye #Kate Bishop #Fuse #Johnny Watts #Detective Rivera #Marvel Tales #The More Things Change The More They Stay the Same #A Kate Bishop Story #Kelly Thompson #Stefano Caselli #Marvel Podcast

[nxttheendxfthestxry]

“Annnnnnyways, fuck the binary gender system!”

#if crazy = genius || pigeon #pigeon / open #thread: binary gender system

[twiststreet]

I sat down with that Tokyo Vice pilot that Michael Mann directed-- guy’s been on my mind between showing up on Maron’s podcast and doing a lot of press for Heat 2, and Tarantino & Avary talking about The Keep on their podcast.  (I couldn’t get past 15 minutes of the Keep).  I don’t know if I want to watch the show without Mann since I just don’t get the whole Elgort thing, I don’t get anything about that guy (he’s bad even if you look past the other stuff-- the only thing good about him is he’s tall, which works to set him apart for the show, but that’s just plastic casting), though I might keep watching since I do like the “Yakuza genre,” or the "foreigner becomes a journalist” coming of age-y story, I guess, but.  

But what struck me is how...Mann’s just such a particular visual stylist (even with the change in his work to digital).  Everything feels very careful and fussed over and stylized but it’s also trying to create a sort of faux-documentary realism, at the same time-- his style feels very much in conflict with itself, in a weird way.  I haven’t seen interviews that dig into how he thinks visually-- people don’t ask those questions generally, unless you’re Scorsese (or maybe just because Scorsese can talk about it so much more beautifully than anyone else, he does, but).  I particularly dug the editing / style in Vice’s opening scene-- the subjective nervousness of the camera when it’s from the POV of a nervous Ken Watanabe, and then much stiller and cooler when it’s on Elgort (both I think because it’s the Yakuza regarding him but also how it’s just how at ease Elgort is in this tense situation that’s got the cop scared).

But I was watching and I kept comparing it in my head to the Tokyo episode of Anthony Bourdain’s show (which is one of my top 3 favorite episodes-- I think I ramble about it constantly on here, so sorry, but it just has this sinister and rhythmic energy to it that really left an impression...). I think what makes Mann such a compelling guy visually is the same thing as what drives his writing, is that he wants to the filmmakers to be invisible documentarian of a fictional universe-- the “this is real” of it (though what explains his sense of lighting and color, I couldn’t guess-- he’s so particular... setting aside my frustration with digital, anyways)(I mean, he’s an interesting case with digital though because he used it for stuff in Collateral or for shots in Miami Vice that he couldn’t have gotten traditionally, but).  

Anyways, I started rambling but I was like "Who did the cinematography for that Bourdain episode” and it’s a guy named Morgan Fallon (who directed a bunch of Bourdain’s episodes too)-- so I dug in, and sure enough:  he was Michael Mann’s assistant on Ali.  I just thought that was an interesting fact-- like... that you can draw that line.  Annnnnnyways:  Dodgers are winning.

#tokyo vice

[mandohess]

*insert quote about my latest act of insanity here*       annnnnnyway... have a starter call.  please specify muse if you’re a multi, some plotting may be required.

#a unique blend of renaissance and cubist aesthetics // ooc