#anders has trauma that's fucking him up

[meowmeowmage]

Anders, not being used to his anger about oppression getting 100% understood and justified by another person, and also being a victim of religious guilt tripping that had led many other mages to intense self-hatred and even suicide: I corrupted Justice into Vengeance

Justice in the Fade: I am Justice.

And then 0 evidence of Vengeance existing is ever presented. Interesting..

#anders has trauma that's fucking him up #and he didn't exactly know what tf he was doing with justice #so things are a mess now #anders #justice #my posts #the narrative needed a corrupted justice to justify that the chantry getting what was coming was indeed bad #bc good people don't rebel and just die i guess #long live the violent status quo and centrism /s #yes I'm still angry about that #sorry I'm full of salt #it boggles the mind how many people really think vengeance was a thing

[ziracona]

Okay but what I can’t get over is when you meet Anders, and he explains Justice, he says his anger and hate corrupted Justice and overwhelmed him—changed him—and he’s miserable and guilt-ridden and full of so much self-hatred and fear of hurting someone he loves again and certainty he will, that he takes THREE YEARS of being in love with Hawke who is actively pursuing him, before even considering risking a relationship.

And I fucking believed him. I thought ‘That makes sense. Spirits are influenced by how they’re believed to be (a great example being the awful things that happen to poor Justice on a Rival!Path in DA2), and their environment, and what they’re pushed to do. He’s clearly not a demon, which tracks, because that only happens to a spirit corrupted completely away from their core being, and Justice and Vengeance aren’t antonyms—they have solid overlap. So, it’s more like he’s unstable and a little bit shaky in his sanity, dealing with this, but still very much a spirit and himself—just also sort of unwell.” It made sense. I really thought Anders would understand what was going on.

It wasn’t until beating the whole fucking game and having complete context, that I was able to look backwards and realize that’s entirely wrong. In Awakening, Justice has /exactly/ the same personality as in DA2, just more stable and calm and curious, less unwell and fractured. That’s what I said before? No, not exactly. What I mean is, Justice pushes Anders in Awakening to consider a more active role in defending Mages. He’s forceful and passionate about doing the right thing—hell, when you meet him, he’s championing a bunch of humans in the Fade to save them from a demon by force. He changed, yes. But it wasn’t his personality. It was his stability.

Anders’ feelings of anger and hate and desire for justice and vengeance didn’t hurt Justice at all; those feelings are all just ones. It was his fear and guilt that did. It was the way he’s been raised his entire life by the Chantry to consider himself dangerous and violence dangerous and action dangerous, and caring too much, fighting back, standing up, using magic to fight back, all dangerous and bad. It’s his /fear/ that he is wrong and bad. It’s his religious trauma over his own existence biologically as what he is. Justice didn’t change. Anders was afraid of what he and Justice did—were able to do—what Justice did to protect him. And immediately assumed he was the monster and he was at fault, because as much of a rebel as he is and as much as he believes Mages are not monsters and deserve to be free, like basically all minorities who had to unlearn the bigotry they experienced their whole life, he has not been able to stop applying to himself rules he long ago stopped apply to everyone else in the world.

And that fear, that belief Justice had been warped and hurt by him, and schism in his own mind about not just what Justice means, but what it means as it relates to him and what he’s allowed to do and want, and it making him evil as a person to pursue even if he thinks it’s right, /that/ is what warped Justice. That’s why Justice is unstable and unwell and their relationship is fractured and strained, despite caring for each other, and Justice’s overwhelming desire to help Anders. Anders is terrified not of Justice, but of himself. And in retrospect all of this is made so clear by his two paths in DA2.

Since gaining Justice, Anders was immediately attacked and almost killed by another Warden, and had to flee, and it was bloody. He ran to Kirkwall and kept his head down, struggling to help as a doctor for refugees in the slums, risking freedom and life every day by practicing magic as an apostate. He’s utterly alone. He spent years fleeing the Circle and being dragged back. As a youth, he fell in love, and they separated him and his boyfriend and took him to another tower. He kept trying to escape. He was left in solitary confinement for an /entire year/ after his seventh escape. The wardens saved him, and he had a home and freedom for like 6 months in awakening, then the Wardens bowed to the Chantry’s demands and initiated a Templar to follow him literally everywhere like a prison warden and that hard earned freedom and community was lost. He saved Justice’s life by letting him live in his body, but in doing so was proclaimed an abomination and almost killed on the spot by the Templar Warden, and fled, alone again. In Kirkwall, he isolated himself to try to keep others safe, and spent his time healing. Then he meets Hawke, and goes to save his first love from being made tranquil, only to find the Chantry is using their own church to bait him, and he has arrived too late, Karl is gone, and he is nearly made tranquil himself, then forced to kill the only person he’s ever loved when Karl regains his person for seconds and begs him to do it before he’s a mindless slave again.

From here, he spends the next 7 years helping heal Hawke’s team, smuggling Mages out of Kirkwall to save them as part of an Underground Railroad, championing mage rights and protesting, writing manifestos, healing refugees and the poor, and doing everything in his power to make the world better. No one in Hawke’s party, except determinately Hawke (and determinately Bethany as well, before, well), takes him and the plight of Mages seriously. He’s treated as an extremist and an annoyance and over the top for regularly talking about the fact that, you know; his minority group literally is being killed in the streets and turned into mindless slaves for the church every fucking day, and no one is stopping it. He becomes more and more desperate and isolated and the situation gets so bad, Justinia has ordered an Exalted March to purge Kirkwall, and Meredith has sent for the Right of Annulment to kill every mage in the circle, about half way through Act 3. And still, no one does anything. He’s completely alone, even in just, fucking validating the severity of the suffering and death and injustice they face.

If Hawke treats Anders like a monster, like an abomination, and Justice like a demon? Over the course of those 7 years of being dismissed, abandoned, and outright attacked by the closest things he has to friends, he becomes less and less stable, more and more lost to the Chantry fears he’s a monster, less sure of himself and his identity, more alone, and confused, and broken, and hopeless. Pulled in too many directions and giving up in despair and trying to fight at the same time. And Justice gets worse. He becomes believed by everyone to be a demon, until even Anders is uncertain and afraid of them both. And then Justice is torn between hurting Anders, and letting innocents die, both of which go intrinsically against his nature as a spirit, and what happens to Justice is what happens to any spirit forced to be and forced to act outside of its nature: he begins to be warped into a demon.

If Hawke is a friend to Anders, and he is not alone in his fight for his people. If Hawke helps him, and reassures him, and he is able to stabilize his mind and emotions and realize he’s not a monster, and his cause is just, he and Justice stabilize together, and no longer have even the issues they do in Act 1, because his warped view of justice and his fears are overcome, and with Justice’s sense of self not constantly threatened, the problem is removed. They both get to be happy, and well, and cohesive. It empowers Anders to see he’s right and just, and to make hard choices rationally, and find who he is and what he wants, with great assurance and passion, and Justice to retain who he is and stay a spirit, while both help the world.

And anyway it just makes me extremely upset that Anders even with all his conviction and belief, has still had such fear and guilt over his very being drilled into him by the Chantry, that he truly believes he’s the monster in his relationship with Justice, and a danger to everyone around him, and it’s the Chantry the whole time. It always has been.

#dragon age 2 spoilers #dragon age 2 #Anders #Anders dragon age #justice dragon age #da justice #da anders #I kinda lost the thread for a moment there getting distracted about the plot structure as a whole but my point stands and it’s VERY upsettin #chantry what /haven’t/ you guys royally fucked at this point? anyone? anythjng? at all? #spoilers #I wish he could blow it up /again/. some poetic justice that bomb is basically where Karl stood #if you reblog this post with Anders negativity I will /kill/ you

[vigilskeep]

aside from questions of anders' and justice's like. autonomy "from" each other can we talk about how clearly anders just fucking misses him. this has tormented me for a decade. like there's a lot of ways you could go with that but man the ways that everyone else around anders can talk about justice like this unfortunate thing that happened /to him/ and you get some quiet moments where it seems like anders has been grieving for /years/ and can't process it out loud because (you know, whatever your personal read on them is) everyone around him acts like it's a. purely negative haunting. and why in the world would he have any sympathy for justice. anyway justanders shipping is pure hell <3

one of the things i love abt having bethany around is that she’s the most compassionate abt justice having been a person anders cared abt. thinking abt this banter always

and also this dialogue from the tranquillity quest

Hawke: This spirit sounds like a useful friend to have.

Anders: He was far better to me than I have been to him. To live outside the Fade, he needed a host. I offered to help him... [...] I thought I was helping my friend. He would have... died, I guess. If that even means anything. And he wanted to help me. He knew what mages have suffered.

Bethany: You tried to help a friend. Surely no harm can come of that.

Anders: I wish I still had your innocence.

there’s other parts of this dialogue that come to mind, he lingers so much over the absence of/alteration of justice with “he... changed” and “he’s gone now. he’s part of me. it’s not like we can... have a conversation” and “he comes out. and he is no longer my friend justice”... anyway the way that anders has been alone since he fled the grey wardens and lirene the only person we know he was talking to pre meeting hawke had never seen him smile and his friend justice is always there with him but now frightening and changed and also unreachable because they can’t truly talk. until hawke showed up had he even gotten to talk abt what happened with justice to anyone? all this for a very sociable guy who has solitary confinement trauma. he even had to leave his cat behind. man

#i was going to add smth from their awakening banter but those do something to my brain #not justice expressing fear of becoming a demon and anders thinking that's what he did to him. 🙃 #anders #justice #bethany hawke #zevsurana academics

[fairandfatalasfair]

i want to know about Fenders_AngstCrack plsplspls

:D :D :D

This fic started as just a dumping ground for all of my sad-fucked-up-self-destructive-Anders feelings (hence the title) and then I showed it to @lesetoilesfous and her cheerleading turned it into like... an actual fic with an outline, which is now probably about 1/2 written? but currently slow progress.

It's a post-DA2 fic with the premise that Sebastian captured Anders shortly after the end of DA2, and proceeded to hold him prisoner indefinitely while carrying out some fairly nasty psychologically-targeted vengeance. And then a year or two later Fenris agrees to do Sebastian a favour and check out the rumours coming out of Haven, and Sebastian offers to send a (much-altered) Anders along as backup. Which leads to Fenris trailing a very messed up Anders across half of Thedas while trying to 1. figure out what happened to him, 2. fix it, & 3. not spontaneously combust from how much of his own history this is bringing up.

It's a lot of me poking at the idea of trauma and how it's painful and heartbreaking and sad but also annoying and inconvenient and socially awkward and inclined to make you have stupid blow-up fights because you were talking about different things. And also me indulging in Fenris as a cynical knight in shining armour, riding to the rescue half against his will, even as he tries to convince himself that he's probably misreading those red flags, and everything is probably fine actually (it's not. he knows it's not.) And also Anders being a stubborn determined bastard who has recovered from spending a year in solitary confinement once and will do it again, he just. needs a minute.

(snippet under cut)

"Anders hesitated, shifting some of the sticks to expose a bed of coals.

“I don't know that I'm the best person to ask,” he said. “You're talking to someone who ran away from the circle for the first time when he was thirteen.” He poked at the coals, shifted the food a little closer to the heat. “But no,” he admitted, “for the most part they're not. They're not pleasant. I have no doubt that those children have seen friends killed by templars, or branded, or raped, or driven to suicide. But those are outliers, the ones who get unlucky, or are prone to making trouble, like me. For most mages it's...easier. Still miserable, but better than freezing to death on the streets.”

He settled back on the dirt, watching the shimmering coals. Fenris turned the words over in his mind, considering.

Three years ago, he might have told the mage to count his blessings; that there were many who froze to death in the streets and had no other options. And it was true that there were many in Thedas for whom shelter, however unsafe, and food, however conditional, would seem a luxury.

But even as he said the words, he would not have meant them. They were the words of the magisters who had argued that slavery was a public good, because without it the streets would be crowded with beggars. A barb thrown out to get a rise out of the mage, because that was what they did. Because the rhythm of jab and counter between them was familiar and comfortable and because the hunger in Anders’ eyes when Fenris argued with him made him feel like his good opinion was worth fighting for."

#Thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble about this that was fun :D :D :D #DragonAge #Anders #Fenris #Fenders #fanfic #fatal rambles #sebastian vael critical #sebastian critical #sebastian definitely gets shafted by the narrative in this #he gets to play the personification of everything I think is wrong with the Catholic church which is. A lot of things. #in fairness it's a role I think he's moderately suited to but it does solidly emphasize the more unreasonable aspects of his character

[nowandthane]

🎶 9 Ship Songs 🎶

Thank you @my-dumb-obsessions for tagging me ❤️ I saw this and wanted to do it too so I’m very grateful xD

Rules: List 9 songs for one (or more) of your ships. Optionally, tag 9 people.

Tagging @azurechicken @sillyliterature @ace-trash-boi @elvhencore @daedrabait @queentheirins @yurissweettooth @malabadspice @corgiofdeath only if you wanna do it! No pressure ❤️ and sorry if you’ve already been tagged 😅 Also anyone else who wants to do this ofc!

This got long so I’m putting it under the cut 😅

I can’t choose one ship lmao so, starting off with Dragon Age~

Riyaad x Fenris (for when Fenris leaves yknow. I promise they’re not this angsty all the time)

Shadow Preachers by Zella Day

I close my eyes, just close the door You want a minute, I'll give you more Maybe I don't want you either We're both unsettled, nighttime creatures Shadow preachers, nighttime creatures

Veara x Solas (though tbh this is just peak Solavellan song to me, it’s not really specific to Veara idk)

Murder Song (5, 4, 3, 2, 1) - Acoustic by AURORA

He holds the gun against my head I close my eyes and bang, I am dead I know he knows that he's killing me for mercy

Garrett x Anders (two apostates against the world + religious trauma who doesn’t love it!)

Sinners by Lauren Aquilina

So lets be sinners to be saints And lets be winners by mistake The world may disapprove But my world is only you And if we're sinners then it feels like heaven to me Our hearts are too ruthless to break Lets start fires for heaven's sake

Arianwen x Cullen (this was always their song for me, I listened to it all the time when I was writing Command Me to Love)

Gold by Echos

Nobody knows who I am I've got intentions of gold with my plans Nobody knows who I am I've got intentions of gold with my plans

Some polyships—

Heroes of Ferelden (Nayima x Leliana x Alistair)

Nayima x Leliana (they have issues post blight/honeymoon phase but they’ll work things out eventually. I see this as Leliana singing the song about Naya)

October Passed Me By by Girl in Red

Yeah, I got bitter when you got cold Could you really blame me though? 'Cause I'm still tied up when you go You know this song is about you, who else could it be? You were the first to make me feel like I was me

Nayima x Alistair (sometimes I think I choose this song for them/aliwarden just because it has the word ‘tainted’ in it)

Battlefield by SVRCINA

Meet me on the battlefield Even on the darkest night I will be your sword and shield, your camouflage And you will be mine

i havent made a leliana x alistair playlist yet

3 Snipers + Tali (the name started as a joke but it stuck lmao. So this is Sarani’s polycule with Tali, Thane and Garrus. Garrus is also romantically involved with the other two, Tali and Thane are queerplatonic. It’s a whole thing, I’m writing their story rn and it’s pretty complicated ngl but I’m having fun)

Sarani x Tali (yeah ok the music video I edited for them is to a different song but… *shrugs*)

Love from NGC 7318 by Tanerélle, Barnes Blvd.

I wanna tell you how I feel tonight I keep trying, but the words ain't right Nothing's fitting for a kind like you I'm never speechless when the earth's my view Killing the time Building a fort Wrapped in each other as we fall in love I've never met a girl like you, never met a girl like you

Sarani x Thane (but they WILL last, they WILL, I will MAKE IT SO)

Won’t by Tanerélle

I tell him 'Go fast' I've gotta thing for speed He tells me 'Lean back' I let him take the lead I know it won't last But he is all I need I write my name over his tongue So it is all he speaks I got a million fucking reasons I should leave him But I don't I got a million fucking reasons to stop dreaming But I won't

Sarani x Garrus (hmm, that’s a lot of Tanerélle, you might think. idk I was listening to a lot of her when this polycule was cooking in my head)

Ripe by Tanerélle

I know you been thinking that you can't But I think that you should If I can make your whole body ache I can make you feel good I'm what you need, I'm what you know Hooked on your axis You make my world go I'll keep you wild I'll keep you free Say you'll be mine I'll show you what that means

I have songs for the entire polycule too but I’m already at 9 so I’ll stop lmao

#tag games #riyaad x fenris #veara x solas #garrett x anders #arianwen x cullen #nayima x leliana #nayima x alistair #sarani x tali #sarani x thane #sarani x garrus #riyaad hawke #veara lavellan #garrett hawke #arianwen trevelyan #nayima surana #sarani shepard #my-dumb-obsessions #three snipers and a shotgun #heroes of ferelden

[not-so-mundane-after-all]

I’ve seen you post a lot about Titans, and I was wondering if you could give a premise of the plot. I need new found family stuff to watch. 😂

Thanks! 🌻

Okay I'll try my best with the summary hahaha just a few fun facts before I get to it: this was my #1 show for the past 4 years, until tlou rolled around, we are on our last stretch of episodes before saying goodbye (my heart is broken) and a word of warning: if you get into it, you will love it as much as you will hate it. This stupid beloved show of mine can be a real pain in the ass sometimes 😂

Okay, time for a summary. Or, in other words, let me paint you a picture of this found family without giving away any plot 😂

So at the beginning we have these four lovely people who all find each other just when they need it the most when their lives are at their lowest. They are DC superheroes (some on their way to becoming them) but the most important thing the show had always put focus on (more or less sometimes but we lived through it) is that team is family. The team grows over time and they learn how to be a team and fight evil together and all that but these four are the core of it.

So, on the left you have the kids: Gar Logan and Rachel Roth. If you're familiar with DC Comics in any capacity, you might know them as Beast Boy and Raven. Gar can shift into animals and Rachel is a daughter of a demon. Fun times with these two!

Then we have the parents: Dick Grayson and Kory Anders. Known as Robin, then Nightwing and Starfire.

Dick is a master detective with some sick martial art skills (trained by Batman himself) and Kory is an alien powerhouse Queen!

Leaders of the team. Heads of the family. Father and Mother who will do absolutely everything to protect their children.

They also have an epic love story going on, just so you know. Season 4 is really taking them places.

Now, when I started this show, I came here for some superhero fun. But I stayed because the pilot episode served me one of the best father-daughter duos I have ever seen. Think of Joel and Ellie's "if you're lost in the darkness, search for the light" but here it's almost LITERAL sometimes. Dick has metaphorical darkness in him and Rachel is the one who brings out the light for the first time. But Rachel has the literal darkness in her and Dick is the first person in her life who isn't afraid of it and helps her accept it as a part of her.

She has a dream about him before they even meet and when they do, she immediately knows. And he's scared shitless of this new attachment, he's dark, violent, has issues and he can't do family but here is this orphaned girl who knows things about him that she shouldn't and hell if his heart isn't beating a little faster.

This scene here, it has a grip on my throat since 2019 and isn't planning to let go. This is where it all begins.

As for the plot, each season is a different thing. Season 1 is protecting Rachel from her father, season 2 is trying to settle down as a team but ghosts of the past are making it difficult, season 3 is about sibling rivalry and how that can fuck up a family and a bit of generational trauma, and season 4 is all over the place with a giant prophecy, some big and small returns, magic and shit, but season 4 is when the family is finally the strongest!

I hope you enjoy it! You can find it on HBO MAX in the US and on Netflix everywhere else (though international Netflix is one season behind). If you get to watching it, I'd love to here your thoughts!

Come join us in Titansland! Let me welcome you to the Graysonfam!

#mundi asks #dc titans #titans #dcu titans #tv: titans #titans season 4 #dick grayson #rachel roth #kory anders #garfield logan #graysonfam #dickkory

[barbex]

For the WIP game… I’m interested in Not Yours? 👀

Thank you for asking about the current obsession. Well, 🤣 it's on AO3. It's the fic that brought all other fics to a halt.

It started as just a small idea (don't they all?) from that scene you see in so many fics (I don't think it's a canon line but it surely is a fanon one) where Fenris, all possessive, says "you are mine!".

That kind of line is actually very common in your typical alpha-dude-M/F romance on Kindle Unlimited. In case you can't tell, I'm not a fan.

So, the idea was for Anders to say "fuck you, I'm not yours just because I fulfill some kink of yours". That also explains the rather boring title of the fic.

That's where it started, and now it's at 42,699 words and 18 chapters with several more to come and the story has become an exploration of Fenris' and Anders' trauma, and their problems with communicating with each other. Anders who doesn't believe he is allowed happiness, and Fenris who battles with the things he learned and that kept him safe in his former life and doesn't know how to let go of them.

I think it has some of the best elements I've ever written, but it's at a point where it hurts me so much. The structure is that of a classical romance novel, we're currently at the third act break up and it pains me so much to write it. Pain!

This is where I always come to a stop. The third act break up. I'm getting too emotional. Me! Mama Rational! Too emotional!

It's so annoying.

#ask game

[justcallmecappy]

i don’t buy that you genuinely understand how fucked up mage oppression is. f*nris fully supports genocide and doesn’t acknowledge that anyone but him has suffered.

I originally wasn't really planning on responding to this because, 1) it's been a really long week and i'm sleep-deprived; 2) I have no idea what brought this on and I low key suspect this is just trying to bait me, but you know what, I will answer it seriously and in good faith, because there are a few things I want to say.

I wrote a bit about mage oppression, I've reblogged other people's posts discussing and advocating mage rights, I'm staunchly pro-mage, anti-Circle, and I'm aware of how fucked up the Chantry and the Circles are as institutions that perpetuate abuse and ongoing genocide of mages. However, I need to emphasize that while the plight of mages can be used as a metaphor of systematic violence and discrimination that occurs in real life, it is in and of itself a completely fictional struggle. The information that can be gathered about it exist only within and is limited to the fictional context of the Dragon Age franchise. Saying that I don't genuinely understand a fictional struggle is kind of redundant because I'm obviously not a Circle mage in real life.

But I honestly don't know why you associated Fenris with the Chantry's abuse of mages when he's just as much of a victim of systematic oppression as Anders and the mages of Southern Thedas are. I suppose you are referring to Fenris joining the Templars in 'The Last Straw' if you don't have enough friendship/rivalry points with him, but that's a totally conditional outcome based on game mechanics. It's not unavoidable, and there are plenty of players who have World States where Fenris fights alongside Hawke to defend the mages.

Fenris also carries so much guilt over the Fog Warriors, and it's a source of trauma for him. He only confides the story in Hawke in Act 2 after you unlock 50% friendship/rivalry, and it's clear when he confides the story in Hawke he sees the killing of the Fog Warriors as a mistake that he deeply regrets. He does not want to kill. But all his memories of his previous life were erased when he got the lyrium markings, and for a long time the only sense of identity he had was being Danarius' weapon and executioner. It takes him a long time and a lot of strength and hard work to build a sense of identity past what Danarius tried to make him to be, and his character arc where he heals and grows past all that, and he raises his sword to help and defend the mages of the Gallows, is all the more significant and powerful, compared to the story outcome where all his healing and growth is undone and he reverts to just becoming an executioner again.

Fenris and Anders have that in common: Anders, too, was labelled as a "monster" by the Chantry just by being born a mage, and he had to work so hard to unlearn all that hateful rhetoric, and accept that his magic was a gift and not a curse from the Maker. Both Fenris and Anders are spending so much energy in rebuilding their identity past what their abusers tried to make them to be, and they both understandably lash out from the stress of it, but that doesn't mean either of them don't care about others or are blind to others' suffering.

I think the whole "Fenris vs mages" thing is short-sighted; he's suffered just as much and has very similar experiences and struggles as the mages of Southern Thedas have. Personally, I think Fenris and Anders should have teamed up to demolish the power systems that abuse and exploit their people together, but BioWare are cowards. 🙂

#friendly reminder that this is a pro-mage and pro-fenris blog #if the fenders banner wasn't enough of an indication #warning for fenris hate from anon #but not from me #i'm here to defend and cherish my boy #fenris my beloved #asks #anon

[cherryslyce]

The amount of HC's I have within my mind is alot but this one. this one.

MC worried, watching Reg asleep.

Luna: it'll be okay, we'll be okay. c:

MC: oh little moon.. *grabs hand*

Regulus: *suddenly awake* im sorry LITTLE MOON? SHE GETS LITTLE MOON AND I GET CROWFACE? GIVE ME YOUR FUCKING HAND I WANT TO HOLD IT-

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Anders: *spooked he saw Volderzhort* WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT👹

MC: MY GUY'S EX SUGAR DADDY. THE CURRENCY WAS TRAUMA. IT ACTUALLY WASN'T THAT MUCH OF A BENEFIT FOR HIM-

Anders: YOUR GUY IS GONNA STAY DEAD, OH MY GOD WHAT-

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Blaise: you reply to my MOM and not ME?

MC: Milf privilege. 🥵

Blaise: Don't contact me. I take it back. Don't reply. Oblivate your mind.

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.

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Harry: Padfoot misses you.

-

Padfoot probably: I want to annoy her SO bad. I just. I'm getting angsty. I feel it in my bones. It's the need for the big dog to humble thy puppy.

Remus, probably reading: no, that's probably arthiritis.

Padfoot: oh yeah. 🤒

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Mannnnnn shit got me emotional. It's weird knowing I've been reading since the beginning. I feel like a proud mother who leaves sticky notes on ur work. Although the end of this beautiful series is bittersweet I'm glad I have your future work to look forward to and praise. Amazing chapter and enjoy the headcannons bubz. 💌💌 -Head of Cannon Anon.

My dear headcanon anon!!

Oh how you crack me up <33!

+ I can absolutely picture Regulus being resurrected by sheer saltiness alone LOL. Yeah, he's definitely not over the whole Crowface fiasco just yet!

++ Voldemort is so spooky istg, but absolutely, death eaters are being paid in copious amounts of traumatic events! Poor Regulus </3

+++ Contessa Zabini deserves all the love and Blaise is 100% bitter that everyone who knows both him and his mother, obsess over her more than him <3

++++ Poor Padfoot misses bullying reader </33, and he's going to be even more upset once he realizes that reader has been vacationing in Norway all this time without him LOL (I miss Sirius omg).

My love, you are truly becoming one of my pillars of motivation these days! It is super crazy to think of how far we've both come, and I appreciate your support and love so much <333! I'm so glad to see that you'll be sticking around for my works after Second Son ends. Can't wait to hear from you again, love <3!!!

#owl <3 #hc anon <3

[houseaeducan]

would u Please elaborate on whatever catherine and anders have going on im fascinated by them

okay so sometimes you are the oldest daughter and you are not a mage but your father was and your baby sister who is wonderful and who you would die to keep safe is. and frankly this has been a Fucking Lot to deal with and you have never met anyone your whole life outside of your family who understands it. and then you have the worst year of your entire life and you are constantly afraid for your baby sister and then you meet this mage guy. who is kind of cringey BUT he's funny and you respect his whole deal and he kind of reminds you of your dad????? and this guy is obsessed with you now because you're one of the first nonmages he's ever met who agrees with him on this stuff and he is incredibly desperate for approval. but it's not Like That because you're gay and like he gets it.

and THEN your worst nightmare happens and your wonderful baby sister does get captured by templars and taken to the circle, and even WORSE, she likes it there. despite everything you've done to protect her from it. which is basically the ultimate betrayal even if you know deep down that thinking that is kind of ridiculous. so you and your sister are NOT talking anymore and for surely unrelated reasons you find your big sisterly protective instincts suddenly turned up to 11 and projected onto your two friends who are mages. and you ask both of them to live with you because you've come into some money and have a huge mansion now and they both have kind of shitty housing situations but they both turn you down because it's weird but still end up hanging out in your house a lot and that guy your friend ends up staying there A LOT to hang out and work on his manifesto and fall asleep on your couch which is great because you cant stand to not have people in it, especially after your mom dies.

(also during all this you've become kind of obsessed with financial security as a trauma response to aforementioned worst year of your life and are deeply deeply determined to live in comfort and luxury for the rest of your life at all costs, which has led you to get into things like Capitalism and Organized Crime. but all of your friends still think you're awesome and haven't mentioned that this might be bad so you're probably doing fine)

so you're spending a lot of time with this guy and you just start to get. really codependent about each other and extremely physically affectionate around everyone. especially during this shitty three year stretch where your mom just died and you fought this scary duel to save the girl you like and then she immediately ran out on you so you're very in your feelings about that while this guy is also having a huge mental health moment. and you are CONVINCED what this guy needs to do to solve his problems is kick out the spirit possessing him (yeah there's a spirit possessing him) because you are fundamentally incapable of understanding what is actually going on with him and you do not understand that the guy you are friends with is just as much the spirit as he is the man he was before. so you fight about this a little and eventually he agrees to try and then he TRICKS YOU and murders a bunch of people instead??? and essentially jumpstarts the annulment of the circle that YOUR baby sister is at, and they do end up okay but that was a hell of a risk to decide to take??

but fundamentally this is NOT his fault because he is literally sad and mentally ill and you're sure that if he would just get rid of that stupid spirit this would all be fine, so when you flee the city (forcing you to leave behind the stability that was so important to you that you build) you tell him he can stay with you but he needs to finally get help! and your sister, who is here now, is not happy about this -- because this guy is the reason she can't go back to the place she had started to consider home and he placed all their lives in danger and there was definitely another way to go about all this, so she can't believe you're still hanging out with him. which is rich coming from your sister, who you still feel like betrayed you, so you get into another fight with her after nearly a decade of barely talking and she leaves.

anyway eventually you get set up in a nice place in antiva city doing other shady activities while your girlfriend pops in on and out in between being a pirate. your friend agrees he probably does need to get help and crashes with you for a few months but you fight and he leaves, and then a few months or a year later he'll come back and agree he's going to try to get rid of the spirit and asks to stay with you until you end up fighting again and he leaves and you worry he's actually dead somewhere and this just keeps happening again and again. and you're STILL not talking to your sister

#ending sounds very grim trust and believe cat and bela are having a great time being gay criminals between all this #also sorry i know you did not want a post this long #catherine hawke

[breadedsinner]

can i just say how Exhausting it is to try to find da blogs to follow when you're a fenris and seb stan who does not like anders. the entire fandom acts like they're being so noble and good by telling us we can like our Horrible Monstrous Blorbos as long as we respect that andycakes is the ultimate special baby boy who has won the suffering olympics for three decades in a row and i'm just here like. bitch your fave blew up a fucking church and approves of selling a man back into slavery. get a bloody grip

I want to stress that I don't hate Anders. As a character, I find him compelling. DA2 would not be the same story without him, he helps moves things along; I might even argue he and Isabela move the plot along the most.

I think he is interesting *because* he in on this downfall, because he is flawed; his goal becomes so encompassing that it creates tunnel vision. Because the situation is so desperate, he HAD to take this path.

It's just me personally, as a love interest, I don't find him desirable.

And then something about him inspired this weird attitude, equating the welfare of fictional mages to actual marginalized people, and because Anders arguably suffered the most, he's the most Valid and therefore we should just either forgive the way he acts around others, or dismiss it as bad writing, which in my opinion completely defangs him.

There is something to be said about this thing media does where a person who wants to liberate an oppressed people Goes Too Far (I understand Falcon and the Winter Soldier did that), but then the imagery of blowing up a place of worship (just to make stand against, again, fictional mages), is upsetting to actual people. Even the argument I've seen of "it was just Hightown" is very callous. Presumably it was not just nobles, but anyone working under them. You see servants walking around in the game.

So that's where me personally preferring Sebastian makes this difficult. Had the fandom taken a more nuanced approach, even if they firmly believed it was "right", it was not without heavy consequence, and Sebastian's pain is real, instead of just brushing it off, making jokes (again, none of the characters have ever commented when a cast remember lost someone, and when they did it was inappropriate anyway), this whole thing might have been easier to swallow. I can't relate to fighting for mage freedom, but I can relate to my own trauma being minimized.

And you can imagine how annoyed I get when people put a microscope to Seb's banter with Fenris about alerting the templars (where I think it was very clear he was very reluctant and confided in Fenris about it), whereas Anders being fine with turning in Fenris to his previous owner is just "bad writing" or that no one should have approved anyway so let's brush it off. It's almost like some of his fans wanted a scapegoat. To say nothing of the fact that Aveline canonically turns mages in, which tells me fans don't actually care about mages, but THEIR mages.

So yeah, I like Anders fine, but some of his fans have made it hard to navigate this fandom for a long time. I am certain he has plentythat are perfectly agreeable, but that was my takeaway. I am trying to lay off, it's been so long, and I am content to just play with my dolls with 5 other people at this point.

#DA Tag #Anders Negative

[woohooincoffin]

The fucking Dragon Age 2 gang is fucking deranged I love them so much. They’re really just like, I’m going to say the worst thing that has ever been said to a person under the Maker’s blue sky. Are you ready? No you’re not. Anders point blank being like did you ever think about killing yourself. And Fenris, Did YOU? No pause, no hesitation. Merrill doing blood magic and being like, spirits and demons are little guys to me, it’s okay, they have STRUGGLES but I understand the dangers, Anders. And Anders losing his mind, like listen to me this is a fucking sin Merrill. You’ll become an abomination. Fenris basically wearing a tshirt that says Kill All Mages while at least two of the people he hangs out with most are mages and possibly the man he’s in love with is also a mage. Fenris telling Anders to STOP fucking talking to him, lest he rip his fucking heart out right then and there. Anders telling Carver sorry about Bethany’s death and Carver is like suck a fat dick apostate. Isabella constantly bringing up Aveline’s dead husband and the trauma. And Aveline’s like shut up you whore. My Hawke making the most insensitive stupid jokes and comments during violent/uncomfortable situations and Aveline bonking him over the head, not now Hawke, Maker, be fucking respectful. Isabella supporting mage freedom talking to Fenris to annoy the fuck out of him and then turning around and telling Anders to go die. Sebastian constantly trying to covert Fenris to Andraste, absolutely not understanding that Fenris has a lot of trauma to work through and having a belief system forced upon him is not the answer right now. Anders point blank asking aloud what Hawke sees in Fenris and also saying he’s more open minded and a better fit for him, all of this while Fenris is standing exactly 3 feet away. What is happening. This is the result of having so many bisexuals in one place. And Sebastian being the only straight person and he’s behind a dlc….this is my favorite game.

#I LOVE THEM THEYRE AWFUL #the banter makes me pees shocks me and I need my inhaler by my side

[vigilskeep]

Ooooo How does Kier with his own religious beliefs (or lack there of) feel about dr husband and his beliefs/trauma? Is it a point of contention?

sometimes, yeah!

not believing in the maker is not something that keir really feels the need to bring up a lot—it’s not something he would have talked to his family about, certainly not his father—so i think it’s a bit of a surprise when people learn it. but he’s blunt and honest by nature so he’ll say it if it comes up. i figure he would’ve mention it off-handedly at some point in act 1 during a merrill conversation or something and it would’ve taken anders aback a bit, if nothing else simply because you can usually make assumptions of the general human populace.

keir’s world pretty cleanly separates into friends and enemies and andrastianism has certainly never qualified as a friend. he had a Backstory Incident™️ himself as a teenager that gave him andrastian trauma up to here, but far more importantly (to him) is the damage done to and ever-present threat to his family. anders’ experiences and lingering beliefs really only add to that. the fact that it makes him doubt himself upsets keir in a way he can’t really figure out what to do about. the same for bethany. keir has a pretty firm ‘live and let live and don’t interfere with what’s not your fucking business’ policy when it comes to religion, partly because like, he thinks it’s the conviction that leads you to interfere with other people that’s really the problem in the first place, and partly because even if he wanted to he has very little faith in his ability to usefully or convincingly express an idea like that. but it worries at him that it’s hurting them. again it feels like an enemy and the kind he can’t protect them from with a shield. he never really figures out what to say abt it and i think his inclination would be to shut up and back off when it comes up. this may seem weird for a red hawke but he really doesn’t like to argue, not with his own people he cares about, not when it’s confusing and he isn’t sure of the answer either

he would argue with anders abt how he talks to merrill abt it sometimes, though, which is a whole thing. i guess that’s when it would most actually come up

#rlly interesting dynamic w him and anders and seb over the whole thing #over the course of the game w the qunari and elthina his aversion to religion in general only ever gets confirmed over and over #keir hawke

[xviruserrorx]

Title: "No Harm In Being Forgotten"

Once again a fill for @flashfictionfridayofficial but it's Wednesday, but hey everyday's Friday if you want it to be... Right? Anyways here is my fill for this prompt but also @abradner1 asked for more of my Britchell thing i did last week (I think it was last week?) so... Ask and you shall receive 😁 Enjoy!

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Fandom(s): The Almighty Johnson's, Being Human (UK)

Prompt(s): "The Devil You Forgot"

Relationship(s): Anders Johnson/John Mitchell, Anders Johnson & Bernie (Being Human UK)

Character(s): Anders Johnson, John Mitchell, Bernie (Being human UK)

Important Tag(s): Canon Divergence, Crossover Pairing, Accidental Kid Acquisition, No Beta We Die Like Bernie Didn't... Sorta

Rating: Teen and Up

Warning(s): No Archive Warnings Apply, Profanity (they say fuck like three times)

Word Count: 1,119

"You what!?" "It's really not all that bad." "Not all that bad!" Mitchell exclaimed. "You texted me s.o.s and then started this call with 'I forgot Bernie at my brother's'." Or Left alone to look after Bernie, Anders has a little slip up... Just a little.

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"You what!?" Mitchell turned around and slammed the door to the supply room shut to block off the rest of the hospital from the disaster of a phone call he could already feel was coming. 

"It's really not all that bad," came Anders voice down the line, trying to be convincing.

"Not all that bad!" Mitchell exclaimed. "You texted me s.o.s and then started this call with 'I forgot Bernie at my brother's'."

"Look, I'm in the car, breaking every traffic law, and heading straight over there as we speak."

As if on cue he heard a car horn that made him grimace for the safety of Anders but more for the safety of the public. 

He shook his head. "Why did you even leave him in the first place?"

"I was at Mike's, talking to him about something, then Dawn called about one of our clients and normally she'd handle them but it was one of our more difficult and not to mention well paying clients. So I asked Mike to look after him for a moment while I popped down to meet the client. Then one thing led to another and—"

"You forgot him."

"At least I didn't lose him," Anders quickly countered. "That counts for something right?"

Mitchell pressed his lips. "What happened to, oh don't worry Mitchell he'll be safe here, nothing will happen to him Mitchell." 

"Hey. One; I don't sound like that." 

He rolled his eyes.

"And two," Anders continued. "I know where he is and it's somewhere safe, it's not like I forgot him at some serial killer's house."

He scoffed. "No, you just forgot him at your brother's bar which is a common hot spot for a bunch of Norse gods, some of whom have tried to kill you and your family."

"It's really not all as bad as it sounds."

"He's a child!" Mitchell finally yelled into the phone.

"And Mike's great with kids!" Anders tried to reason. "He raised me and my brothers and we turned out alright!"

"Your alright and my alright are two very separate things, Anders."

"He kept us alive, yeah?"

He could hear the smug smile Anders normally wore when he was trying to be convincing about something. 

"That doesn't make me feel better," he supplied.

Anders huffed. "Contrary to all the shit I talk about my brother, he was the best thing we had to a stable parent figure. The kid's probably more safe with him than he'll ever be with me."

A part of him wished Anders was playing around with him, but he knew from that tone of voice meaning messed up childhood trauma he'd rather not talk about that it was more than Mike's capable parental abilities but rather Anders lack thereof.

He sighed and brought his hand to rub at his forehead.

"Mitchell?"

He turned towards the door that a skeptical George was peeking around. He jabbed a finger at the phone and swatted his hand at George.

"Oh, oh, it's the—right, got it, I'll just…" George pointed over his shoulder before awkwardly excusing himself from the room.

Mitchell let his head fall again as he pressed his eyes shut.

"Was that someone?" Anders asked.

"Hm? No, no. But I, uh… I have to go. Just text me when you get there, yeah?"

"You're in luck, Vlad. Just pulled up and—" 

He heard the car door open and slam shut. 

"Ah, see? There he is, fangs and all, and still cute as a button." He paused. "Can't say the same for Mike," he mumbled into the speaker.

Mitchell scoffed a laugh before lowering himself down on one of the nearest extra beds in the room. His hand with his phone resting on his knee as he let the other side of the conversation play out.

"Hey, kid." Anders started. "You have fun with Mike?"

There was an answer that he couldn't make out, but could recognize as Bernie's voice. Another voice joined in with a pointed tone at Anders as Anders continued to talk under his breath. The line crackled softly before a voice spoke directly into it.

"Hello?" Bernie said.

He quickly pulled the phone back to his ear. "Hey, Bernie." He put on a happy tone. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah, I got to meet one of Anders' brothers."

"I heard. That's uh…" he swallowed. The situation wasn't necessarily a good one to say but Bernie didn't know that. "That's good."

"When are you coming back?"

He bit his lip. "I'm—I'm not sure, soon… hopefully."

"Okay…" his voice fell.

He grimaced but pushed the worry aside as something to deal with later. "Alright, put Anders back on the phone for me."

He waited as he did just that.

"What'd I tell you?" Anders snarked. "I promised you he'd be safe, remember?"

"Yeah…" he ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, I'm just stressed, and worried, and pretty fucking terrified to be honest."

He heard the car door slam shut but still heard the soft whistle of the wind passing the speaker.

"Well, I think we're doing a terrific job considering the circumstances"

"I'm serious, Anders."

"If it makes you feel any better I'm pretty fucking terrified myself," Anders said. "Settling down, a partner, kids. It's never exactly been something I pictured for myself…. Then here it all is, in my lap, at once." He smacked his lips. "It hasn't even been a week and I've already fucked up more than once."

"I think you should remember who fucked up in the first place."

Anders hummed. "I'd say it was a good fuck up, no?"

"Is that a soft spot I'm hearing?" He teased.

"I'm a god, I don't have soft spots."

"Said that about me too," he countered.

"You're the exception."

"Are vampire kids the exception too?"

"Kid. Singular," Anders articulated. "Don't pull anything else on me, Mitchell."

He finally heard the car door open and rustling down the line as Anders got in the car.

"Get home safe, with Bernie this time."

"I will apply all my safe driving skills that will hopefully make up for the drive over here."

"Alright." He took a breath before speaking again. "I love you."

"Oh?" Anders replied. "Are we the type of people that end every call with that now?"

"Maybe we are, just this once… for my sanity."

"Just because I gave you a scare." The faint rustling stopped. "I love you too," he softly spoke. "Now stop ditching work."

"I'm not—" The line beeped as Anders hung up on him.

He rolled his eyes at Anders once again before pocketing his phone, waiting for the inevitable next call or text that was to come.

#the almighty johnsons #being human uk #john mitchell #anders johnson #britchell #bernie being human #fanfiction #crossover pairings #crossover #virusfanfic #these two are so fun to write for like its not everyday you get to write fanfiction about a norse god and a vampire and its so fun #but you can if you like this ship XD #also i originally was going to write this with bernie lanham the boy from being human US version because i always found it sad that he died #because bernie from the UK version is happy in canon and with his mom but bernie from us is very dead so... #i dont know if i should change it but i know some people dont like the US version so... idk #if anyone sees this and has a opinion on it please let me know what you think 😊

[miraculan-draws]

OKAY BUT it is literally SO FUCKING OBVIOUS that Leandra favors the twins SIGNIFICANTLY, if not outright resents the eldest Hawke sibling. She tells them right after the trauma of losing a sibling to the ogre “this is YOUR fault. How could you let them charge off like that?” And THEN when you’re about to set off to the deep roads, she doesn’t beg the eldest Hawke to stay, she begs the remaining twin. She’s not even subtle with it she’s like “you, I understand wanting to do this, but do you have to bring carver/bethany?” This stings more for a mage Hawke I think, bc it is perfectly in character for the expedition to be something Carver would dive head first into. Leandra doesn’t spend one millisecond relieved to see the eldest sibling upon their return, she immediately asks where the remaining twin is.

And I think THIS has more to do with Malcolm than it does with mage hawke, but the sentiment is especially poignant if we ARE talking about a mage hawke, but Leandra doesn’t really talk about magic. It’s dictated how she’s lived a lot of her life and her children’s life and her spouses life, but she doesn’t act concerned about mage hawkes safety in regards to their status as an apostate. She suggested going to Kirkwall despite bethany, who had never set foot there, knowing from common damn knowledge that it was crawling with templar influence. In act 1 she only ever cares that you’re in debt to the smugglers/mercenaries, dislikes the idea of you being in servitude despite both Athenril and Meeran saying they need a mage and they’ll keep Hawke safe when they’re with them. She doesn’t make note of gamlen outright telling people that you’re a mage. (The person most concerned about Hawke being discovered is Carver.)

This is veering into Headcanon territory but I think the eldest Hawke sibling must remind Leandra TOO much of Malcolm. Especially a mage hawke!! It almost seems like Leandra is trying to forget him with how little he’s mentioned compared to the dead twin—and bethany is canonically wary of her own magic as well as soft spoken compared to the other two. But the eldest Hawke doesn’t even have the player options to be shameful about their magic!! Bethany says that Anders reminds her of their dad—so Malcolm as an apostate unafraid of their gifts and opinionated in the ways it should be treated. So a mage hawke, unashamed of their magic, charming and boisterous, and if you’ve played legacy you’ll hear that Malcolm Hawke and Male!Hawke have THE SAME VOICE. They sound the same!! For whatever reason, I could see Leandra resenting the eldest sibling for either not living up to the expectations she put on Malcolm, or for reminding her of Malcolm when she doesn’t want to.

#da2 #Hawke

[druidgroves]

😒 💀 👻 👀 💩 for Georgia + one oc of your choice

thank you bo !! georgia + allison bc they're og babygirls

get to know people in my oc's life

😒 …someone my muse hates.

The obvious answer for Georgia is Kellogg. Not a very interesting answer, but she hates the guy more than she's ever hated anything. Vault-Tec may have changed the trajectory of her life forever via cryo, but Kellogg tore it apart in front of her & inflicted so much trauma. We're getting closer to her fight with him in BLP & I am so excited lmao.

Allison hates Cullen with a passion. His "mages aren't people like you and me" comment pushed what would have been regular hatred of a templar into burning rage. She doesn't wanna be the exception. Being a mage is who she is & she's still a person despite it. When she visits Skyhold later on she definitely brings it up in front of the Inquisitor & the rest of their advisors, just to be petty.

💀 …someone my muse would kill for.

Without a doubt Georgia would & has killed for her son. The first time it was Kellogg, before she knew Shaun grew up & eventually figured out the ten year old she saw in his memories & inside the Institute was a synth. Even after she takes in synth!Shaun, by the end of the game she's already sold herself as the kind of person who wants to make the world a safer place for her family by any means.

Allison is kind of in the same boat--she's killed for family & for friends. She values her relationships to the rest of the Kirkwall crew highly & like. All of their personal quests involve some sort of killing lmao. She killed people in pursuit of her baby brother when he got nabbed. Allison repeatedly & willingly puts herself on the line for those she loves.

👻 …someone my muse considers a best friend.

Georgia's bestie is a hard tie between Preston & Piper. Preston was there from the beginning & they leaned on each other a lot in the early days after she left the vault. He taught her the basics of surviving in the new world she found herself in & she served as inspiration to keep going for him. He's her right hand man & she probably trusts him the most out of all of her companions. Piper serves best as a friend Georgia can chill out & gossip with, the kind of friend she sorely needed before the bombs. Piper is funny & loud & unafraid to be herself or express her opinions & Georgia truly admires that about her.

Allison's best friend is, of course, Varric. He talks about her like she hung the moon & Allison made him the fucking godfather of her child. She loves the man like family. Besides Varric, though, since he's the obvious choice, I think her next best friend would be Isabela. She's the most chill out of all the companions & the best at providing a break when Allison needs one. She also loves hearing about Bela's time at sea :)

👀 …someone my muse likes, but doesn’t trust.

Georgia likes Deacon but doesn't trust him as far as she can throw him (on account of the fact that he was technically stalking her even if it was for "the greater good"). She thinks he's funny & likes hanging out with him on Railroad stuff, but she basically treats him like a coworker.

Allison likes but does not trust Sebastian. Tbh I haven't really played much with him all that much but even if I did, his (admittedly somewhat understandable) reaction at the end of Act 3 would be her cut off point. Threaten her lover like that after years of being friends with her? You're done lmao. Post-DA2 Allison sees Sebastian as former friend but now a distant threat (distant so long as she & Anders can keep safe in hiding).

💩 …someone my muse dislikes, but admires.

Georgia & Cait don't get along very well due to opposing personalities & morals, but Georgia does admire her! Cait is everything Georgia isn't: tough, strong, & doesn't fall to social pressures. Georgia sees traits in Cait that she wishes came easier to her & in a way she's kind of jealous.

Allison isn't too fond of Samson for obvious reasons (since he is an ex-templar) but admires the fact that he put his neck on the line to assist mages. Overall she thinks he's pretty skeevy but overlooks that fact whenever they interact over the course of the game. If/when she got the news that he was leading the Red Templars for Corypheus, any goodwill she had left was probably diminished.

#bokatan #asks #ch: georgia tate #ch: allison hawke #thank u bo !!!! <3