#and youll stop being online soon

[nimomo-mo]

Vent

#i am doing my best to avoid my feelings #by constant studying #or braindead media consumption #i dont want to think of you #i dont want to reflect on how you hurt me #i dont want to think about how i #fuvk #no #im not thinking about it #i love you #and i hate it #close to a year now. abouttime i fucking. stop!!!! #i keep getting hooked #and youll stop being online soon #being out doing things and living life. im literally so happy i cry when i heard about it #i just wish. #i. i want you to see me. i want you to love me. i dont even want a proper relationship so you can do whatever you want #think of me please. i love you #blasting music into my head. i dont want to feel

[plush-rabbit]

Firsts Edition

Word Count: 4 Parts, Roughly 1K each A/N: Overhaul is a bitch but he’s so pretty. (i honestly think i’ll add more to this later so if its reblogged by me, youll know why)

First Meeting:

Meeting Overhaul was a chance of fate. He seldom leaves the bse, too disgusted by the world and the germs that sully it. Not only the bacteria but the false sense of hope that quirks bring, the wretched attachment to heroes, the toxicity that it could only bring, the hopelessness, the despair, the death and grime. He hardly leaves and when he does, he wears his mask- a simple black one that clings and hides his face, hands protected by gloves that will soon be thrown away the moment he enters the safety and cleanliness of his base. He walks with long strides, golden eyes set forward and ignoring the path of people who come his way. He walks and he curls his upper lip in disgust when someone accidentally bumps into him. It’s a simple task that he has in mind. He just has to buy a new set of masks. He’s running out and while he could place an order online, he rather not have anything linked to the base of operations. He’s tracked a store that sells his preferred brand and it’s a short walk but nonetheless, it’s out in the world and he’s gagging at the thought of touching anyone else. 

The store bell chimes as he opens the door and he’s greeted with an enthusiastic hello, his eyes lazily looking over to where you stand behind the counter, uniform crinkled around the stomach from the bent position you no doubt had before he entered. You give him a smile and a small wave of your hand and then your eyes are off of him. You turn around to organize the cigarettes behind you, and he continues on. 

The masks are located near the entrance and where they would be placed, an empty space remains near the hook. His brows furrow and he can feel his skin start to itch. He tilts his head, eyes scanning, trying to find a pack hidden behind another, hoping that the trip outside was not pointless.

“Oh, if you’re looking for a certain brand of masks, I can check if we have them in the back? Usually the manager doesn’t want a box opened unless the other brands are running low.” His eyes dart to you and you stand still, a polite smile curving your lip and you point with a finger to the back of the store. “Only if you want me to. I-” you clear your throat and look away from him, your hands tapping along the counter- “I just noticed that you were trying to find one and I’m assuming it’s from a certain brand and I- yeah.” Your voice was getting tight, rushed and breathless and you stopped with a sharp intake of breath.

He weighs his options, either the trip was for nothing or he trusts a stranger to deliver what he is looking for. His skin starts to burn and he decides. “I’m looking for the black pair. I’m not fond of any designs.” You seem competent enough. His fingers flex and pop. “I’ll take five pairs.”

You perk up and nod, a wide grin on your face and you excuse yourself, scurrying off to the back of the store in search of pairs of masks and Overhaul is left standing under fluorescent lights. He stands in an empty store, the hum of the refrigerated section overpowers the generic pop song that plays through the speakers and he’s already grown bored of being here. Perhaps he should have just ordered them. Or sent out someone. They would have listened. He was their leader after all. He grabs his wallet when he hears the doors open. You come up eager to the counter and it’s almost sickening how eager it is. A skip in your step like you’re happy about where you are. All he can do is narrow his eyes at you and he’s disgusted. 

“Five pairs, right?” You place five down in a spread order. He gives you a curt nod and you smile like you’re proud of yourself for getting something right. “Cool, just wanted to make sure.” You reach to grab one before pulling away, fingers bending and dancing away from the clear packaging. You turn and place a generous amount of hand sanitizer on your hands. He raises his brow at the action. “Would you like a bag?” Your smile is less polite and more friendly and he tilts his head, eyes narrowing at you.

“Yes, please.” His voice is smooth and controlled, desolate of any emotion as he regards you. “I’ll be paying in cash.” 

You’re slow to scan but quick to make small talk. “It’s a bit slow today. I think I’ve only had maybe a small group before you came in.” The machine beeps and a mask is placed into the bag. “Honestly, it was starting to feel like a slow day.” A second beep and his total rises. “Are you sure you only want five masks? I don’t mind getting more for you.” A third beep and you give him a smile. It’s neither polite nor forced. “You know, these are my favorite masks too. Black and simple- goes with everything.” A fourth beep and his eyes widen slightly. “But sometimes I prefer masks with simple designs. Like butterflies or flowers- something simple and neatly placed.” Your eyes meet his and they’re a warm color. The fluorescent lights don’t do justice to your eyes. “Okay, your total is 5,490 yen.” He doesn’t blink at the price and pulls out the money. “I know it’s a bit expensive but they’re a good brand so it’s worth it.”

“I agree.” He doesn’t know why he’s responding to you, why he’s entertaining the idle chatter. “I prefer to stock up but I’m not one to usually come out and get them myself.” He can certainly implant the idea that he is important and that’s because he is. He reigns above the filth and bugs that inhibit the planet. “Do you usually work at this hour?” He doesn’t know where the interest is. He doesn’t understand why he’s suddenly gravitated towards you. You were polite, there was nothing else to it. 

You seem to perk up at the answer and he feels pride swell in his chest. “Yeah, I do. I don’t like the graveyard shifts.” He doesn’t know why you’re telling a stranger this but he couldn’t care less at this point. “Sometimes I do work late but it’s,” you hesitate and his lips pull into a frown, “tense.”

“Tense?” He repeats, eyebrow quirked.

“Drunks. People doped up on something on the rare occasion.” You hum and finally insert the money into the register, slowly pulling out his change. “An odd robbery here and there.” Acid fills his mouth. “Would you like a receipt?” How quick you were to change the subject after a confession like that. He gives a curt nod and you place the change onto the receipt, curling it up and holding it out to him. He takes it and he can feel the slightest pressure as your fingers graze the fabric of his glove. You give him another smile and now he can notice the heavy bags under your eyes. You’re being run ragged here. “Have a good evening, sir.” You smile at him and it’s tired but kind, hands pushing the bag towards him and once again resting on to the counter.

He takes the bag and the corners of his eyes crinkle in an unseen smile. “Likewise,” he pauses and his eyes dip to your chest and he says your name, a thick, honey like consistency on his tongue as he does so. He turns and the bell chimes once more and he leaves the store, a glance given as he stares into the window panel, seeing you hide a smile behind your hand.

First Date:

It’s elegant. A restaurant with a private room, complete with a bouquet of flowers. He even took the liberty of sending you an outfit which he knew you loved. Frankly, it’s a surprise to everyone, including himself, how he fell for you. A yakuza leader, smitten with a mere clerk attendant. It’s something that took him by surprise but he isn’t against it. He was in the beginning and if you were to ask he would be honest with you. He didn’t think much of you when he first met you but something clicked in that initial meeting. Perhaps it’s been a long time- his entire life, if you were to ask- but he felt the need for comfort, felt the want to take you in and cleanse you. He wanted to purify whatever wretchedness had been exposed to you. And now, as you dine in front of him, wearing an outfit that he bought for you, he’s sure that you are already clean.

“You really didn’t have to get me something, you know,” you mumble, bringing a piece of your meal to your mouth, the sauce staining your lips until you lick at them and he can only repeat what he’s already told you dozens of times.

“And I’m sure I already told you it was no issue.” He speaks through his mask, stubborn about keeping it on, claiming that he had already eaten before this. A partial truth. His last meal was lunch which was hours ago by now. He didn’t want to expose himself so soon, not when he couldn’t gauge your reaction outside of customary worker pleasantries. “Do you not like it?” He raises a brow and tries to keep the smile that grows to a minimum, pleased at your flustered reaction.

“That’s not it,” you mumble, taking a sip of your drink- non-alcoholic, presumably so you wouldn’t flounder in front of him or worry about him taking control over you. “It’s just,” you muse and place the glass down, swiping at the condensation that forms outside, “did you not think I had something nice?” You speak slowly and he straightens in his seat. “It’s- I have some formal outfits. I’m not a disaster. I mean, I get it, I work in a small store but um-” you look up and your face is flushed. You stop speaking and take another bite from your meal.

Uneasiness settles in his stomach. He was sure you were going to love the gift, but rather you had taken offense to it. He wears the same color as you, chosen for you, had you failed to notice the subtlety because of the minor aggression he had committed? He rolls his shoulders and intertwines his hands and lays them on the table.

“I didn’t mean to offend you.” You start to open your mouth, trying to remedy the situation but he shakes his head. “I’m sure you had formal clothes but have you not noticed what I am wearing?” Your eyes dart to his blazer and he sees confusion in your eyes. “I thought we could match.” Your eyes immediately soften. “I suppose I should have been more forward about the attire.”

“No,” you say in a small, regretful tone. “No, Chisaki-” he grits his teeth at his name but all at once, he feels a smile force its way to him- “I’m sorry. I’m not good with small details. I’m- I really do enjoy the gift but it’s- I have no way of repaying you and-”

He holds up a hand and you stop speaking. “There’s no reason to repay me. This is a gift. I understand that it was a risk for you to take to agree with going out with a stranger who you’ve only known for a short while so I thought a gift would put you at ease.”

“You’re not a stranger anymore,” you retort, cutting another piece off your meal. “I really do enjoy the gift but for a first date-” you say the word hesitantly and he can see the way you drum your fingers against the table- “I feel like it might be too much.”

He's been around you long enough to know when you’re going to ramble. He calls your name and you give him your attention. “It’s fine.” he gives you a dismal wave of his hand, your eyes following the movement of the white gloved hand that cuts through the air and through your words. “If you really do feel the need to repay me, then I suppose we could go for another date. I’ll even let you decide.” His eyes flash to yours. “Does that sound fair?” He feels his mouth dry, his tongue peeking behind the mask to wet his lips nervously. Perhaps it’s because he doesn’t know what you’re thinking that makes him nervous. He can read your mannerisms, the way you bounce your legs, how you play with your hair when you start to grow nervous, the rushed way of speaking but he doesn’t know how you feel about him. You seem to enjoy his presence if he can take anything out of this date, you lean forward, you laugh and smile, and you call him by his last name- something that he’s only granted a few people permission. “You’re always free to decline, of course.” It’s at this moment he wishes he could remove his mask and take a drink of water. 

“I wouldn’t know where to take you,” you say in a quiet voice. He wonders what you really think of him. Do you take him as someone pretentious? As someone unattainable? That could be the reason for your shock at his invitation to a date. “I don’t think anywhere I choose could compare to this.” You give a wave of your hands to show the private room you two occupy. 

“Anywhere you want to go, you can choose and it can be my treat.” He leans forward, elbows resting on the table and chin on his interlocked knuckles. “I enjoy spending time with you.” You give him a small smile and lower your head and he smiles when your smile continues to stretch, another bite taken out of your food when you look back up at him. “Do you?” You nod, and he can still see your grin and how the corners of your eyes crinkle. “So what’s your answer? Do we have a second date?”

You swallow and your eyes narrow as if trying to read through him. His knee jerks and he holds his breath. “There’s this nice area that I visit with my friends. It’s a museum with really nice artwork and there’s a small botanical garden that is just lovely.” You give him a small smile and take a sip of your drink and air enters his lungs once more. A second date it is.

First Time Holding Hands:

He sits on your couch, legs spread and arms crossed. He stares at the television, the loading screen of the movie still and unblinking as he tries to recall if he’s ever seen this movie before but he comes up flat. He can hear cabinets open and close in your kitchen and his phone buzzes in his pocket. He sighs and pulls it out of his pocket, brows furrowing at the caller identification. 

He answers the call with a simple swipe of his finger and presses it against his ear. “What do you want Kurono?” 

“I just need to remind you that we have a meeting tomorrow so I would advise not to stay out too late.” Even Overhaul can hear the indication in his close confidant’s words. “I would also advise for you to not disclose too much to your-” he hesitates and ultimately stays quiet.

“To my partner?” Overhaul raises a brow and he can see his image reflected in the black that takes up a portion of your television. “I know what I’m doing Kurono.” In the corner of his eyes, you come into view, holding a tray accompanied with drinks and snacks that he presumes you will eat and will offer to him but he will decline. “Now if you excuse me, I have to go.” Without waiting for a goodbye, he hangs up. 

“Work?” You ask, placing down the tray of snacks on the coffee table and taking a seat beside him, legs curled underneath, jerking your head where a stack of blankets rests beside him. 

“Yes. I’m sorry for the intrusion. I made sure to tell them not to bother me but a few things needed clarification.” He grabs a thick blanket, a deep purple that rests heavily across both of your laps. 

“I’m not keeping you, am I?” You rest your head on his shoulder and bring an arm to link into his, effectively trapping. He can admire your false concern. “We can always reschedule.”

“No. They’re fine. What are we watching again?” He leans back and grabs your legs, pulling them onto your lap and he gives you a glance when you let out a small chuckle, clinging closer to him. 

“It’s an old horror movie. You don’t mind, right?” You lean forward and grab the remote, returning to your snuggled position to his. “We can always choose something else if you’d like.”

“Horror is fine.” His eyes wander to the drinks that lay untouched and his eyes dart back to you. You always offer him something to drink even though he declines and you haven’t seen him without a mask. He wants to enjoy your hospitality. You brought him into your home and he could smell the cleaning products through his mask. You had made sure to clean everything for a man who he had yet to even insinuate that he would want to touch you. You press yourself close and worry about a man you had yet to even see. His eyes glance to the top of your head where you rest against his bicep, the introduction of the movie finally starting. “Am I free to grab a drink?”

You startle and look at him with wide eyes. He feels a twinge of guilt at your shocked expression. “Of course,” you tell him. You untangle yourself from him and his side feels cold. 

He grabs the drink and through the gloves, he can feel the coolness of the drink touch against his fingertips. You turn away, mumbling about how you received a message when he can clearly see you scroll through your messages and click at a random number. The drink is sweet, a light melon taste that lingers on his tongue and he places the drink back on the tray. At the sound, you wait for a moment, enough for him to cover his face once more and then you lean against him, pressing your nose against his side, your hands sliding down his forearm and grabbing his hand. You ignore the movie that you had chosen and he ignores something he had no interest in and focuses on your touch and the cool taste that is left on his tongue.

The movie plays and images and colors flash against him and you. There’s enough grotesque imagery and torture that leads him to wonder why you had chosen this but from what little he can retain, it’s an interesting concept. But it isn’t enough for him to focus entirely. Not when you’re so close to him. You’re pressed against him, enough where he can smell the sweet scent of your shampoo and body wash, the light grapefruit scent that washes over you, the creamy scent of the vanilla that lingers. Your hands dance across his, never once touching against the hem, always careful to touch the fabric rather than his skin. He can feel your fingers touch and dip between his knuckles, the soft trace of each digit, the part where the pads of your fingertips smooth out the small bumps of the bunched up fabric. 

He hasn’t felt your hands before. You’ve grown bolder to touch him but you never touch his bare skin. You know that he has an aversion to touch, to something of the outside world, lowering it to a simple term of germophobic, but never to what, never to the specific disease that rots the world. You, however, are pure. You have been tainted with sin, but it is something that can be cleansed. And where you lay next to him, holding his hand in yours, desperate for a touch of him, he gives it to you willingly. He wants you to know that he accepts you. Sin and filth, pure and pristine. He pulls his hand away from you and with a dry mouth, he removes his glove under the blanket and intertwines it with yours. He feels your lips press against him, and you continue your tracing of his hand, and he is able to feel the gentleness that courses through you and onto him, the trace of his nail against your palm and he closes his eyes. The snacks lay left untouched. 

First Unmasking:

You’ve touched him. You’ve laid beside him, sleeping upon his chest and letting your hand cover over a breast as he rests and holds you, his palms naked as he holds a hand and traces down your spine with the other. Perhaps it’s something about how you’re so open to Overhaul that allows him to feel safe with you. Safe isn’t the right word. It’s too hollow. He cares for you in a way that even he is unable to comprehend. He never had much care for anything that involved human touch- finding them too dirty and corrupted to even near himself with. But now, with you upon him, your breathing gentle and the lights that shine from the outside through your blinds, makes him wonder if he has missed out on something. But it couldn’t be. You are something different. You are a person, someone he had the chance to meet under fluorescent lights and someone he had yet to even face. But you are patient. Waiting and never pushing, looking away when he takes the odd sip of a drink, respecting his privacy where others would not. He hasn’t missed out on anything, because they would not give it to him the way that you do.

He rests in your home. He doesn’t want to bring you anywhere near his line of work. At least not yet. Not when it’s too soon to tell how you’d react. He’s certain that you care for him but he isn’t certain enough that you would accept what he does. You’ve had conversations before about hero society, you’ve told him that you like the thought of heroes but much like the Hero-Killer Stain, you believe there are corrupt ones. He’s sure that he can pull you to his side, to make you understand that having quirks is nothing but an ailment. But it’s too soon. Too soon to have you change your ways. And even though he wants you to be like him, to have you stand by his side when he cures the world, he can’t help but feel sick at the thought of forcing you to believe something other than your thoughts. He’s grown to love your rambles from conversations, the way you’ll talk about a subject and move on from it to something else. He loves hearing your thoughts because you are nothing but sweet, caring for others and admitting the faults, admitting the truths and holding his hand every time you speak. 

He wonders how you’d take to his mission. He’s sure you’d support him, that you would worry for  him. If he were to bring you back to where he lives, to have you move in with him or even just have you wait for him, he’s certain that you would still welcome him with open arms. He likes the idea of curling into your chest, having your hands run through his hair, kiss at his temple and hear about the struggles of the meetings he has to endure. The endless tests. The monotonous cycle that continues. 

But even with that dream, he still cannot do more than to hold your hand and pull you into his chest. His brows knit at the words that Rappa had told him at an attempt to make him lose his composure. That he will lose you one day due to his lack of intimacy. His taunting had worked and he had his body covered in blood with a serious thought that he wouldn’t bring the brash man back. But he had. And he made sure that he would never speak of you again. Hate swirls inside of him and his hand grips yours tightly.

“Kai?” You mumble, sleep thick in your voice. You get to call him a name no one else does. You get to share something much more intimate than anyone else will ever experience. “Are you all right?” He hears you yawn and you raise yourself, his hand still on your back and your hand pressed flat against your bed as you raise yourself above him, your eyes dropping as you stare down at him and he thinks to himself you are the most radiant thing he has ever seen in this cruel world. Your hair is messy, your eyelids droop in tiredness, your smile is soft and kind and your eyes brim with adoration for him.

A pale hand comes up and removes a strap of his mask. Your eyes follow his movement and your lips part in a silent question that he answers through his movements. He hooks a finger through a strap and the black mask that he wears is held in his bare palm. He stares up at you and the hand that rests on your back slides to cup your face. He holds you and his thumb brushes against your lower lip. He is bare, and he can feel your breath against him, a gentle breeze that leaves him gasping for breath. His heart races, fingers twitching against the side of your face in a small dance, the hand that holds his mask tightens and he doesn’t know how he’ll muster up the courage to do what he so desperately wants to do. 

“You’re really pretty,” you mumble and he can feel a skip in his heart and heat rise to his face. He can only give you a nod. “Thank you for showing me, Kai.” Your voice is gentle and nothing more than a whisper, a simple breath that makes him want more. You lean down and stop yourself, your eyes catching his and he thinks that there has to be more than just this. There has to be a grand spectacle. It almost feels wrong to nod his head and cup his hand around the back of your head into a kiss.

It’s simple. A feverish press where he lets a shaky breath against you and he’s needful. His hand lets go of the mask and he cusps your face. He needs more. He wants more. And it almost feels wrong to kiss against your lips that taste like citrus. It almost feels wrong to have the rapid beating in his chest increase, to kiss at your lips and pull you closer to him until the kiss moves into something more intimate. He washes himself in your virtuousness, holds you close and kisses you until he is drowning, until his lungs cannot handle anymore and he has to pull away, face flushed and eyes dilated. 

“Thank you,” he mumbles. He gives you his gratitude, he will give you anything you ask for. He thanks you and the room is silent once more and he cannot move when you press a kiss against the corner of his lips and lower your head once more. He isn’t sure how you'll sleep when he himself cannot stop the mess of his thoughts. He pulls his mask on and lets you rest your head on his chest.

#chisaki x reader #bnha chisaki #kai chisaki x reader #kai chisaki imagine #chisaki kai headcanons #chisaki kai x reader #kai chisaki #overhaul x reader #bnha overhaul #overhaul imagine #i hope you like it!! #sorry for the long wait!!

[ivyuns]

come back to me again ❆ ✰

kim seungmin

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 1.8k

warnings: 2018-2020 era, young hearts are broken, mentions of passing out, y/n’s leader name is yerim and other member’s name is sunni, mentions of suicide, fainting, mean comments, strict dieting, one bad word oop, the plot doesnt make sense lol i just wanted a break from landing in your heart, not proofread

notes: i had three story plots i wanted to use but uh yeah i chose this one (maybe ill post all three of them but different members oo) but listen to love again by baekyun, or the cover by minnie <3

masterlist

idol!seungmin x femidol!reader

tell me you love me like the day you did

the day it ended was on a rainy, cold day. seungmin called you to meet up with him, saying he had something to tell you. heading to the jyp building, which wasnt that far from you house.

scanning your id and greeting the staff, you go to the room seungmin was in. knocking twice, you heard a “come in” and opened the door gently. “hi minnie” you smiled at your boyfriend. seungmin waved back with a small smile on his face.

“y/n, come sit here, we need to talk”

going to where seungmin pat the spot for you to sit, he sighs. “i know this is hard, but you know how stray kids is debuting soon?” you nod, knowing where this is leading to. “i- we have to break up” he paused. “but you know i love you right? i promise id come back after three years okay baby?” holding you tears, you looked into his eyes, that are full of sadness.

trying your best to hold your tears in, you gave him one last hug. before parting different ways, seungmin kissed your lips. letting go, you put the promise ring he gave you 2 years ago on his palm and walked away. letting the tears running onto your cheeks as you walked away from the room.

with a sobbing seungmin left alone in the practice room. holding your promise ring made him feel guilty, but it wasnt his fault that he had to do this.

tell me once again, say that you love me again

packing all of seungmins stuff that was at your house and looking though them made your heart burn. from they day he asked you out after school to whenever you two last hung out with each other, which was over 2 months ago.

because now that you and seungmin auditioned to be in the same company, but with seungmin, he had a little bit more talent than you did. it didnt mean you didnt have talent, it just meant you were physically ready to become an idol. still improving, many idols were amazed at how well your singing and dancing was.

finally taping seungmins box, you went to the stray kids dorm and dropped it off and to say goodbye to the boys. deciding to switch to a new company to focus more instead of dealing with you heartbreak.

you rung the doorbell and you come face-to-face with seungmin. handing seungmin the box, you asked if it was okay to say goodbye to the boys, which made seungmin confused. where you going somewhere? ending your dreams?

seungmin moved to the side for you to come in. as seungmin closed the door, a voice was heard. “seungmo! who’s here- oh” looking up, you see minho. your eyes that was red and puffy ran more tears down as you ran up and hugged minho.

minho was in fact the one who introduced you to seungmin. accidentally falling in love with seungmin, you told minho all about it and he eventually told seungmin about your feelings towards him. seungmin, who felt the same way, made the best way to confess to you, which was a success.

minho hugged you back, caressing you back as seungmin looked down and went back to his room. “its okay love, its okay” minho shushed you as you cried into his chest. settling you two in the living room, the whole stray kids but seungmin came out of their rooms, comforting you as they all knew what happened between you and seungmin.

30 minutes passed and you decided it was time to go. giving the boys one last hug, you made sure they’ll have good luck when theyre now idols.

“just know, ill love you guys forever. thank you”

im where ive always been, i still love you

almost 2 years had gone by and you finally debuted into a three member group. with being the main vocalist and dancer. being invited to the award shows, your group gracefully posed on the red carpet, right after stray kids. accidentally locking eyes with seungmin, you almost teared up but you had to be strong.

sitting down in front of stray kids, you grew anxious as if nobody else other than stray kids and yerim knew about your past relationship. stilling having feelings for seungmin, you let them go and paid attention to the show that was now starting.

“hyung, dont you think y/n looks like shes about to pass out?” jeongin asked seungmin. after you left the dorms that day, seungmin didnt know where you were. nobody told him anything about you other than you leaving jyp. you and your group was hidden from social media until your company announced a new girl group was debuting soon.

after seungmin got the news about you, he felt so relieved, knowing that you were still here living. on the pictures online, you looked like a goddess. the way your singing was beautiful and your dancing were sharp. he was amazed at how far you came.

but when seungmin saw you in person, it looked like you were on the verge of passing out due to how thin you looked. it looked like you couldnt perform on what your condition is.

feeling unsteady, your group was the last ones to perform. getting into your costumes, you fell back slightly when yerim pushed you up. after seeing how weak your body has been acting, she was worried something might happen to you on stage. and seeing how you reacted when you saw seungmin again made her worried.

“y/n, are you sure you got this?” yerim asked. nodding your head a yes with a smile on you, you gave her a thumbs up. with the smile that hid everything. yerim nodded her head, your group was ready to perform.

among the three girls that was on the stage, seungmin only looked out for you. anxiety rising, seungmin bit his lips which changbin rubbing his back to calm down.

the end of the performance, you tried your best to stay still, but you only saw blurry vision. as you were about to get off stage, you fainted with your head hitting the floor first. gasping were loud from everyone as yerim and sunni tried to lift you up and go back to the dressing rooms.

as soon as seungmin saw everything, he stood up and tried to run towards you till he was stopped by chan. “seungmin you cant. everyone’s going to find out” “i dont care hyung, the person i love the most is hurt” seungmin said and let go of chan’s hand that was gripped around seungmins wrist.

seungmin runs through the halls and tries to find your groups room. after finding it, he gently pushes away people who are near you and gets a view of you on the couch. “s-seungmin” both sunni and yerim said together. “yerim, what happened to her” seungmin asked, skipping the honorifics since they know each other.

yerim bites her lips with glossy eyes, scared of what to tell seungmin what you’ve been doing. “yerim?! i said whats going on with y/n-” “she tried to kill herself!” seungmin pauses and tries to lets what yerim said sink into him.

“w-what? why?” seungmin asks as tears start streaming down his face, as well as sunni’s and yerim’s. “she was scared. scared that she wasnt going to be perfect to be an idol. she started getting hate comments, saying she was too fat. but this is why shes too thin. she wont listen to us when we tell her she needs to rest and to start eating. all she does is practice with no water breaks but somehow, she still hits every move right. other than that, shes scared of what youll see her like again. she still loves you seungmin, but shes scared”

“sunbae, shes not okay. she needs somebody and that somebody is you”

seungmin was stunned by what yerim and sunni told him. “can- can you two leave us for a moment. please?” seungmin asked quietly as everyone left the room. seungmin starred at your body. eyes closed with you as skinny as your bones. it scared him of how you thought so low about yourself.

he doesnt understand it. he doesnt understand how you got every moves and vocals right without anything. where you like this during your relationship? no, it couldnt. both seungmin and you promised each other that you two will never keep secrets to yourself.

seungmin silently cries to himself, thinking of why you wanted to do this to yourself as he held your hand. his tears slowly fall onto you forearms, which wipes the makeup off of your scars you created, which makes seungmin cry more.

because of you fainting, the award show was paused temporally. with this being said, stray kids got up and quickly went to you room until they were stopped by yerim. “dont, seungmins already in there” all of them nods their heads and waited outside the room with minho dropping down, hands in his face with tears as he remembers when you tried to seek help from him but he never answered because he was too busy.

don't leave me alone baby, just stay for the night baby

still holding your hand, seungmin whispers ‘i love yous’ and ‘im sorry, please forgive me’. gaining conscious, you flutter your eyes open and see seungmin in front of you.

“seungmin?”

he opens his eyes to see you awake. “bab- y/n. thank god” seungmin says and hugs you gently. tears start streaming down as you realized he probably knows everything now. “s-seungmin, did they tell you-” “yes they did. and im sorry. so fucking sorry oh my god, please dont do this again. please eat, please do what you loved to do again. i want the old y/n back, the happy one” seungmin lets out.

“okay, ill come back” you told him. seungmin wipes your tears away, as well as his and plants a kiss on your lips. “come back to me again?” nodding your head, you both smile. this time, a real and happy smile from you.

the awards continued on and your group won an award. chan offered your group if they wanted to come for dinner, you were going to decline, but yerim, sunni and seungmin forced you to, wanting you to start eating again.

heading out, the eleven of you walked to the nearest korean bbq while holding seungmin’s hand. feeling the warmth youve been missing for 2 years.

tell me your love again.

END <3

#stray kids #stray kids seungmin #seungmin angst #seungmin fluff #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff #skz angst #skz fluff #skz #jyp skz #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop #kim seungmin #fluff #angst

[sleepyandobedient]

I am a Mindless Slut

This is taken from a chat with my dom (as it is my first original post i hope you like it). He installed some triggers to make me pretty horny throughout the day and to not be able to cum without his permission. When i waited for him to come online i thought it was a good idea to pass the time with masturbation since i was so horny. I didn’t know what i got myself into:

[23:34] sorry hun. Was pretty busy today. Although i was pretty horny the whole day thinking about finally writing with you again

[23:35] and thinking about how much i love to be horny for you makes me even more horny

[23:45] oh honey i crave for you so deeply

[23:56] please be there. I am so horny and need you inside me

[23:59] i dont even know how i managed the whole day being so horny without release

[23:59] maybe ill just finger myself a bit thinking about you while i wait for you to respond

[00:02] mmmh im so wet already

[00:03] fuck this arousal just makes me even more needy

[00:03] and now i cant stop

[00:04] i feel like such a needy slut masturbating in my bed waiting for you

[00:04] and the thought makes me even more aroused

[00:05]and i cant cum without you

[00:05] which might get pretty interesting soon because i keeo getting more and more needy and slutty

[00:06] oh fuck im already on edge

[00:07] this might become a very long night

[00:07] what did i get myself into

[00:08] i am so aroused and i cant stop masturbating

[00:08] but i cant cum either

[00:08] fuck im so needy

[00:08]i hope at least youll enjoy reading this

[00:10] ah fuck now i need to cum so bad and it keeps getting more and more intense

[00:13] i want to be a good slut and tell you how on edge i am

[00:13] fuck this is intense

[00:15] oh fuck this is so intense and it has only been 15 minutes

[00:16] mmmmmmm fuck

[00:17] i need you  so bad

[00:18] im so on edge

[00:19] it feels like my mind is dripping out through my pussy

[00:19] i need to be a good slutty fucktoy

[00:20] i am such a slut

[00:20] i am always horny for you

[00:21] fuck this is so intense

[00:21] i cant think straight anymore

[00:21] my mind is being melted by the heat of arousal

[00:21] mmmmh

[00:21] fuck im so on edge

[00:23] god i hope you read this soon

[00:24] im so *X'2#11.,,e22 mmmmh fuck

[00:25] i need you inside me so bad

[00:27] ive been on edge for more than half an hour now

[00:27] mmmmh this is only getting more intense

[00:28] fuck i need to sleep soon and if you dont come around i need to try to fall asleep being this needy

[00:28] oh god

[00:29] its so hard to stop myself from keeping me on the edge

[00:29] mmmh it feels so good

[00:29] but this has to end somehow

[00:31] oh yes i managed to stop touching myself

[00:31] but that doesnt make me less needy

[00:31] just thinking about how stupid my situation is and how you will react when you read it makes me so aroused

[00:32] trying to sleep like this will be hard

[00:32] but i guess ill have to try

[00:33] i wish you a good night when you read this honey, ill try my best to find some sleep while this fucking needy

[00:33] love you

#hypnosis fucktoy needy hypnochat arousal mindless

[cynical-dragons]

how to enjoy the harry potter franchise without giving jk r*wling your cash - a guide

so youre a hp fan, like a lot of us, but you dont want Official TERF Bastard JK R*wling to get your hard earned cash? well heres some tips that mean you can still enjoy what was a big part of a lot of our childhoods, the harry potter franchise.

OFFICIAL CONTENT

we’ll start with what most people want, the official books or films. you have a few options, but some of them might depend where you are in the world, for instance in the UK you could probably walk into five charity shops and three of them would have the harry potter books or films in a nice box set, but if you dont have lots of charity shops near you, your best bet may be ebay or other auction websites or some bigger charities have websites and can deliver.

so second hand, thats your best option here. either buying from a boot fair, yard sale or an online company. also good because chances are youll get it a bit cheaper than direct purchasing.

another note, if you create an audible account you can listen to the dulcet tones of Stephen Fry read these stories to you for free, as you get a credit each month to spend on any book on the store and you can keep it forever. in theory making seven audible accounts and listening to a book each time, although you wont get to keep it, is an option but for legal reasons i of course *dont endorse that... if you have an amazon prime account you get two free credits, so youd only need access to three amazon prime accounts to listen to them all. (this being said, i dont know the policy on whether audible pays per listen, but here youre getting into the discussion on audible and amazon and their ethics and id rather not muddy the waters)

if you want to watch the films but arent bothered about owning them - streaming websites are a godsend, the quality might not be the same as you having the dvd in your hand but if you shop around youll find a link that is good. i watched the newest fantastic beasts film on a stream and honestly it was as good as having the dvd on screen. my advice for if you stream, use an adblocker and be sure to close tabs and popups as soon as they appear.

UNOFFICIAL CONTENT

this stuff is more merch, so you love your house and want a tshirt, or keyring, or hat to show off your pride, without paying out to an asshole of a woman. fair enough.

using small businesses nowadays is a big thing so if youre not doing this already youre a fool, but head to any small business’ website, social media page or even using a bigger company, i.e amazon, to find their details and message them directly. chances are youll get a reduced price going directly to the seller because they wont have fees to pay, but they might rather you use something like etsy for their sellers protection.

small businesses will almost definetely have a much wider range of content and products so youre even more likely to find something you love, plus its made by fans so you can chat about your favourite moment or character.

again, second hand shops, youll never know what youll find and hp is such a huge franchise theres sure to be stuff hidden away in charity shops or bargain bins.

you should At All Costs avoid official Warner Bros content, official JK R*wling content and the most important one, avoid Wizarding World content. those hugely popular tiktok mystery bag wands that havent got any warner bros labelling on them are still official content and are still putting money into the pockets of TERFS so please stop buying them. please. Wizarding World are in charge of the games, the theme parks, almost every harry potter shaped pie they have their hands in and theyre hoping people wont realise they are official and keep buying their stuff in walmart or on amazon. in the UK primark have a huge harry potter line, and more high street shops are picking up its coming back into fashion, boots is another with hp themed bath sets and whatnot, if we can keep JK TERF face from making profit, these brands will stop selling hp related content, her next publishing deal will be lower, and it will keep getting lower every time she cuts a new deal. hopefully publishers will drop her because shes bad press, but thats down the road.

bottom line, dont let the fact that a TERF is the publisher stop you from enjoying harry potter, just dont let this TERF have your cash. she might own the rights to the stories but she doesnt own how those stories affected our lives.

#harry potter #advice #warner bros #terf #books #films #money saving #trans rights are human rights #hp

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 12

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.9k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i hope it sorta hit a bit? does it sting? it had to happen sorry! i cant wait to write the next chapter 😭

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : i didnt add the “never have i ever” suggestions that i used but THANK YOU if you sent some, i used a few! also, i had other requests and ideas from people and i may use them a bit later, in a future chapter. actually i know when ill use them lol youll see :)

Chapter 12 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

"Shit, I don't know what to wear!" I exclaimed to myself as i put clothes in front of me, standing next to to mirror. "Horrible."

I threw the shirt away, aiming for the bed but it fell next to it and I didn't even send it a glance as I took an other one.placing it on my chest and tilting my head at my reflection. I glanced up when I saw Louis walk by and stop immediately, holding himself on the door frame with a smirk.

"Put a skirt on." he let out, making me raise my eyebrows. "It'll be easier for him to fuck you against the wall."

My eyes got smaller and I reached out for my tissue box before throwing it his way. He moved right on time and it hit the wall in a thug, making him laugh.

"Don't be so violent!" he smirked, walking in my room and leaning on the wall. "I'm just saying out loud what you think about late at night, if you know what I mean."

I turned to him, opening my eyes wide and shaking my head. I couldn't believe Louis was talking about me masturbating to the thought of my ex boyfriend like it was nothing.

"Oh my god, shut up!" I let out with a chuckle. "You're so annoying!"

"Look, I woke up and he was getting out of your room." Louis pointed out. "He spent the night with you. In your bed. Wearing nothing but BOXERS!"

"We just slept." I argued with a shrug, trying not to show him that the thought of Niall almost naked in bed with me was actually doing something to me. "I was sick, remember?"

"Yea, you were 'sick'" he repeated, pronouncing the last word louder and adding fake quotation marks with his fingers.

"I was! A few of your sushis weren't good, Lou." I explained, throwing an other shirt away and grabbing a new pair of jeans. "You know it's true, I heard you vomit in the middle of the night, too."

"That's not the point." he explained, getting suddenly a lot more serious than he normally is. "Olivia, you should break up with Dylan." I stopped dead in my track and even stopped breathing. My heart, though, was beating extremely hard against my rib cage and it's all I could hear. "Did you even think about him recently? He's not here and you don't even seem to miss him, especially not when Niall is around."

I did think about Dylan, though, but I didn't talk about my thoughts, mostly because I felt fucking guilty about almost everything that came to my mind. I felt like shit towards my boyfriend but I didn't have the guts to tell him that I was getting closer and closer to Niall. I didn't know how to tell him that spending time with Niall had been some sort of relief in my life, that being able to be around Niall again was making me generally happier, that when I was near him, I felt more alive. There was no good way to tell that to the man you were about to marry, not without hurting him.

"I love Dylan and I miss him, you know that damn well, Louis." I argued, feeling tears coming to my eyes. "But Niall is... Niall is Niall. Niall is the love of my life."

Louis uncrossed his arms and walked closer as I closed my eyes. I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to face reality at all. I wanted to spend time with Niall and pretend I would be able to resist him the next time he'd try to kiss me. I wanted to pretend that I was going totally okay with watching Niall and Heidi get married and have kids at some point in the future while i'd do the same with Dylan. I wanted to believe I didn't have to break an incredible man’s heart because of my own disgusting selfishness... that everything was fine and that what was happening between Niall and I was perfectly normal.

"I know he is." Louis said gently, placing his hands on my upper arms from behind. "I see you two interact and it's so obvious, Olivia. The way you two connect it's... it's probably terrifying for Dylan and Heidi, you know?"

I opened my eyes and sniffed before swallowing the lump in my throat. I was not going to cry. There was no fucking way I was going to cry now and ruin my make up. We didn't connect, and we wouldn't connect on that night, I was going to make sure of it.

"Don't worry, I'll be okay. I'll prove to you and everyone else that Niall and I are only friends, you'll see."

I was mostly trying to convince myself of that but I just reached out to my wardrobe and grabbed a skirt, like Louis had proposed. I was going to have fun tonight and nothing else.

"Liv, don't be like that."

I turned to Louis and shook my head slightly.

"I'm not losing Dylan, okay? I can't. Do you know what are the chances for me to find an other man like him? Kind, sweet, smart, funny and who truly loves me? I've risked my relationship enough, don't you think?"

"So last night, when Niall joined you in your bed, you didn't feel anything?" he asked a bit harshly, raising his eyebrows at me. "I saw him take care of you when you were puking your guts out, you know?"

"You don't base a romantic relationship on lust, Louis. You should know that." I shook my head, searching my drawers for a shirt. "Niall always took care of me, since we were kids. It's nothing new. And it means nothing."

Louis stayed there, motionless and quiet as I picked my clothes and when he realized I wouldn't look at him again, he sighed.

"We're leaving in 10 minutes." he turned around and walked to the door as I swallowed my tears again. "And Liv? I love you. I want what's best for you. My opinion is just that, an opinion but... I don't think you'll ever be happy if you're not with Niall. I don't think he'll ever be happy without you either."

                                                       ---

The bar was crowded but we reached a quiet spot on the second floor, in the back of the room. Everyone was arrived and I couldn't stop glancing at Niall, who ended up sitting next to me. Now that he was close, all the bullshit I had told Louis earlier didn't seem so important anymore. Nothing ever seemed more important than Niall, and it was a problem.

Louis came back with a pitcher and sat on the other side of me with Eleanor while Harry, Liam and Julie sat on the other side of the table. I didn't know where Harry's girlfriend was, or if he even was with her anymore. We had told each other we would remain friends but things change and we drifted apart. I sighed low, a bit nostalgic of that friendship before we all started drinking. I was getting drunk and from the way Niall's eyes sparkled, I felt like he was getting there, too. Or maybe it was just that I was so drunk I was starting to imagine things.

I could feel the skin of his arm brush against mine and I cleared my throat, trying to stop thinking about it before turning around to send him a smile.

"So where's your girlfriend?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Oh she'll be here soon."

I didn't expect this answer and raised my eyebrows as my lips parted. I didn't want to see her, and it was not only because we didn't get along. Most of all, I didn't want to see her all over Niall the way she had been when they invited us for dinner. Why was I so ready to prove everyone that I was able to resist my ex boyfriend but as soon as he was near, I couldn't handle myself?

"Okay, let's play a game!" Liam said, tapping the table a few times with his palm. "Truth or Dare?"

"No no, 'never have I ever'!" Louis argued, making me raise my nose up in a grimace.

These games never ended well, at least most of the time, except that one time where I decided to just kiss Harry, but a few minutes later, Niall had kissed a girl too and that was not a good ending, at least not to me.

"Okay, I found questions online!" Eleanor let out with a chuckle. "If you've done it, you take a sip, and no one lies!"

"Yea, I'll call you out if I see one of you lie!" Louis agreed, making my heart skip a beat.

I was screwed.

"Never have I ever... drunk-dialed an ex!"

I held my breath and started nibbling on my bottom lip. So many times, I had wanted to call Niall when I was drunk but every time, Louis was there to snatch the phone out of my hands. I glanced when I saw Niall drink and I wondered who he had tried to call. I had never received a phone call or a text message from him after we broke up, so I knew it was not me, and somehow, it made me jealous. He missed an ex so much that he called her... did that mean he never really missed me?

"Never have I ever... stolen someone's food!"

"Louis! You drink!" I let out, my eyebrows raised. "You always eat all my fucking left-overs!"

"What? Nah."

"He does!" Eleanor agreed with me with a chuckle, hitting him gently with her elbow.

He groaned but finally took a long sip of his beer, making me smile more.

"Okay, never have I ever... called a partner the wrong name during sex!"

I chuckled but felt my heart jump in my chest when I noticed Niall taking a long sip of his drink. We all looked at him and started laughing and he simply shrugged.

"I was drunk, I didn't know the girl's name!" he argued, laughing too.

I let my eyes roam on his face, wondering who exactly was that girl and if she had been someone he had sex with after he left me but I didn't dare to ask.

"Never have I ever.... lied to a law enforcement officer."

I laughed when I saw Louis drink and Liam started laughing, his eyebrows raised.

"Wait what? What was the lie?" he asked curiously, leaning slightly against the table.

"He lied to get out of a ticket." I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Why? Because he was going too slow?"

Everyone started laughing and Louis grimaced before flipping Liam off, making everyone laugh even more. I leaned closer to Louis and kissed his cheek gently before he wiped my kiss vigorously from his skin.

"Traitor!" he whispered as I chuckled, blowing him an other kiss.

"Never have I ever... sent nudes."

Without thinking, my eyes found Harry immediately and his did too. We stared at each other for a few seconds before our lips curled. I grabbed my drink and took a sip as he did the same, just like Julie, Liam and Louis.

"Did you send nudes to your boyfriend or your ex boyfriend, Olivia?"

I sent a mean glance at Louis and he smirked, making me know he was getting back at me for the last question.

"One time, Harry, Niall and I played 'truth or dare' and Harry asked me if I had ever taken nudes. I guess we continued that conversation a bit later and.. shared.. selfies..."

Louis' eyes got bigger and he pressed his lips together, knowing he had made things a bit awkward but finding it funny anyway. I glanced at Niall, noticing he was staring at me, and finally cleared my throat, asking El for the next question.

"Never have I ever.... hooked up with someone of the same sex or gender."

My eyes once again found Harry. I knew we were pretty much the only one who didn't want to label ourselves around the table and I brought my drink closer to him. He smiled and clinked his glass against mine before we both took a sip.

"You guys have no idea what you're missing." he let out after swallowing, making us laugh.

"Oh my god, Liv, you're gonna love this one. Never have I ever had food poisoning."

I laughed and took a sip, pushing the side of my body against Louis'. He groaned and took a sip and when I turned around, I noticed Niall frowned. I moved closer, holding my breath to make sure I wouldn't smell his incredible scent, and smiled a bit.

"Last night, Louis got sick because of his sushis, too."

I saw an emotion pass on Niall's face and his lips finally curled before he chuckled. Was that relief? I nibbled on my bottom lip when I remembered what he had asked me in the middle of the night and the right corner of my lips raised. I didn't know why he didn't want me to be pregnant with Dylan's baby but I liked it.

"Never have I ever been the subject of a rumor that wasn’t true." Eleanor read with a big smile. "Oh god, I think we can all drink!"

We all laughed and ended up finishing our glasses, handing each other the pitchers to fill them back again. I almost choked on the sip I was taking when Heidi arrived and she quickly sat next to Niall, making something stir in my stomach. I closed my eyes tight when she kissed him and I felt Louis' hand on my arm.

"It's okay to be hurt, love." he whispered. "If it matters, she's got nothing on you. She's also doing that to get to you."

I breathed in and out slowly before opening my eyes again. I noticed Heidi looking at me and sending me a sly smile that really bothered me.

"I'll get shots!"

Harry left with Liam and the whole time they were gone, I played with my fingers nervously. I felt like the whole evening was ruined because of her but I couldn't let that get to me, right? As soon as the guys put the shots in the middle of the table, I grabbed one and swallowed it quickly, followed by Louis.

"Wait, guys! This is for the game!" Harry explained. "And it's a surprise, you don't know what you drink!"

That's when I noticed the huge amount of shots on the table and raised my eyebrows just as Eleanor read the next question.

"Never have I ever... caught someone masturbating."

I held my breath and my eyes got bigger. I didn't want to turn to Niall but it was stronger than me. He was already looking at me and he chuckled.

"One time, when I was 13, Liv caught me masturbating. She just walked in my room without knocking!"

I smiled and pressed my lips together but my smile faltered when I realized he had no idea that I had caught him masturbating last time I actually slept at his place. The sight of him jerking off flashed in my mind and I gripped my glass tighter until I heard his voice again.

"Oh and remember at the lodge?" he asked with a smirk. "I came back in the room the first day we got there and-”

"Nooo! Shut up!"

I moved closer to him, trying to press my hand over his mouth but he dodged me and ended up just holding my wrist as he finished his sentence.

"And I caught Olivia masturbating in the dark, in our room!"

"Oh my god I hate you." I groaned, leaning my forehead on the table as I heard laughter. "That was a secret!"

"Was it though?" Niall asked, his lips dangerously close to my ear.

I held my breath and waited a few seconds to look up, noticing Louis had given a shot to Niall and was now handing me one. I drank it quickly, turning the glass around and putting it on the table. Tequila, ouch.

"Never have I ever... tried anal sex."

Once again, I closed my eyes and groaned, bringing one of my hands on my face as Niall laughed next to me. I was really going to get drunk. I reached for two shots and handed one to Niall who just chuckled and drank it fast. I did it took and raised my nose up. Sambuca. I hated that.

"Wow, who the hell are you?" Louis asked, raising his eyebrows while looking at me. "Little wild thing. Can't believe you let him!"

It was not my first time trying anal but I decided not to mention it. The truth was, when I was dating Niall, I would have done anything for him. There was no limit, as long as he stayed with me and was happy, it was all that mattered to me. I suddenly felt the urge to kiss him and held my breath as I stared at him. My heart was hitting so hard against my rib cage I thought it was just going to escape. Literally. It was ridiculous. I was not ready to do anything for anyone anymore, except myself. That's how things should be.

"Never have I ever... hooked up with an ex’s friend."

Once again, I knew I had to drink. Not everyone in the room knew that I had slept with Louis and I thought maybe it would be better if I didn't drink at all but the worst would be if I hesitated. If I just drank, they could believe it was an other ex than Niall but if I didn't seem sure, they'd know I was not at ease and it would be suspicious. I rolled my eyes, realizing I was going a bit too far in my thoughts and just grabbed an other shot, swallowing it quickly. I felt Louis' hand squeeze my thigh and my lips curled slightly. He knew and it was enough for me.

"Never have I ever... tried to make an ex jealous."

I sighed and took an other shot, shaking my head.

"We need to find questions that won't force me to get so drunk I won't be able to walk in half an hour!" I argued with a chuckle, watching as Niall grabbed a shot too.

I was starting to hate this game, if only for the fact that all I did was drink and check if Niall would drink too and if he did, I'd just spend a few minutes wondering who it was about and what exactly it meant. I glanced at Heidi, thinking she should probably drink but didn't and I rolled my eyes.

I never really had tried to make Niall jealous but I had hoped for it. I was not getting married to make him regret leaving me, but when I noticed his reaction when he found out and stormed out of the cafe, I couldn't pretend it didn't do anything to me. It did. I liked it. It gave me hope. Hope for what? I was not sure.

"Never have I ever... second-guessed a relationship."

I was getting pissed at myself for letting all his simple gestures and actions get to me. I loved him, I loved him so fucking bad it was driving me insane, but there was no way I was going back to being the 'no-back-bone-and-fucking-blind' girl I used to be when we were dating. I didn't want that. I reached for a shot and placed it in front of Niall a bit roughly, spilling a few drops of what I believed was rum, or at least, it smelled like it.

"Do you need only one?"

Somehow, everyone stopped talking and although I should feel guilty, I really couldn't. I was past the tipsy stage and a few memories were coming back to my mind. I also didn't enjoy Heidi's presence and the way she was so close to him. Niall looked down and licked his lips, waiting a few seconds before drinking the shot and pushing the glass away. Eleanor cleared her throat and I just shook my head with a sigh.

"Uhm, never have I ever cheated on a partner."

I closed my eyes again but this time for a complete different reason. I thought about the first time Niall touched me. I could almost still feel his fingertips brush on my skin before he had pushed them inside me. I can't remember being this excited ever in my whole life. This time, I didn't have to say anything. Niall just reached out to grab a shot and swallowed it.

"Not on Liv, right?"

Niall turned to Louis and shook his head.

"No. With her." My eyes moved to Heidi's hand who gripped Niall's arm tighter sinking her nails in his skin. I couldn't help but think she did that when they fucked, too.  "It was back when I was with Maya."

I noticed Harry was looking at me with a frown and I just shook my head slightly, answering his silent question. He nodded and his lips curled a bit as I answered his smile. No, I had no cheated on Harry. I wouldn't have done that, not even for Niall... right?

"It was... unplanned." Niall added, making me press my lips together.

The memory was so vivid, probably due to the alcohol and mixed with the proximity of Niall's body, that I had to get up and go to the bathroom. As I got up, I realized how drunk I was and tried to walk straight. I didn't like to show I was drunk and I was not sure why but when I got out of the bathroom, Louis was leaning against the wall, waiting for me.

"El and I are leaving, we've got a brunch in her family tomorrow morning, so I'll sleep at her place." he explained with a frown. "Are you okay? We can give you a ride home if you want."

"No, thank you." I shook my head. "I'll just take a cab."

"No, no cab by yourself. One of those fuckers will bring you home when you'll be ready. I'll make sure of it. And if anything happens, you call me."

I nodded and he pulled me into a hug, making me close my eyes. I wanted to tell him that I missed him, and that I missed having sex with him, but it was a lie. What I actually missed was to be close to someone, and I sort of felt like I was losing him, somehow. Soon, we were not going to live together anymore and I had no idea if I was okay with that.

"Sorry for that game, although it went better than you thought, right?"

I chuckled and pulled away before nodding. He sent me a wink and told me goodnight and I watched him leave before sighing and walking back to the table with difficulty. Liam and Julie were getting up too and I frowned, tilting my head when I got closer.

"Are you guys leaving too?"

"Yea, we're both a bit tired." Julie explained.

They said their goodbyes to everyone and I ended up sitting next to Harry and in front of Niall. I watched as Heidi talked in his ear with a smirk and I glanced down to watch her arm disappear, realizing she probably had her hand on his thigh, or even somewhere else. I looked away and swallowed at the intense feeling of jealousy invading me.

"Oh, Olivia, I know you'll be alone tonight, would you rather sleep home?"

I frowned at Heidi, a bit surprised about her proposition and licked my lips, trying to find a reason why she would actually want me to be with both of them at his place. To show me he belonged to her, perhaps? To keep on being all over him in front of me?

"No it's okay, she can come home." Harry just said, getting up and grabbing his phone. "I'm alone tonight, too."

"It's cool, Harry. She'll sleep at mine." Niall quickly replied, getting up to. "Plus, it's closer."

They looked at each other and Harry finally sighed before bending down and whispering to me.

"Are you okay with that?" I just nodded and he did the same. "Okay, darling."

Heidi drove us back home since she had barely drank and I noticed Niall kept glancing at me in the mirror but I didn't acknowledge him. I knew he was a bit mad at me for some of the things I had said and if I wanted to be honest, I really thought I was over all of that, but the thought of him breaking my heart and not being sure of the relationship we had made something burn inside me... I was not mad. I was still hurt. I probably always would be.

Niall let me borrow a pair of his sweatpants and a shirt and none of us really talked at all. We just went to bed and before I knew it, I was laying on my back, under the covers, in the dark, just staring at the ceiling. Normally, I would have a conversation with Niall until we'd both fall asleep but that night, it was impossible. He was going to cuddle her all night, and not me. The thought made me swallow hard and I tried to keep my tears in. I was intoxicated and just closing my eyes made me dizzy.

That's when I heard it. It made my heart jump so hard in my chest I was near throwing up. A moan. Just a low moan disturbing the silence of the night and then, an other one. I got up slowly, my heart beating harder, making my whole body throb and when I opened the door, I held my breath. I stepped out of the room and It was clear, now. A bunch of moans reached my ears and I leaned my back against the wall, shutting my eyes tight.

"Oh, fuck, Niall!"

I felt tears invade my eyes and I let myself slide on the wall until my ass hit the floor. I heard noise, like the annoying sounds of a mattress moving, and I brought my hand to my mouth, trying to keep in the sobs that wanted to escape. This is exactly why Heidi wanted me to sleep at their place but the one I really blamed was Niall. How could he do that to me? Wasn't breaking my heart once enough? What the hell was he thinking?

I was sitting down alone in the hall, now as sober as possible in these circumstances, listening to my ex boyfriend, the man I was in love with, having sex with his girlfriend. It was so pathetic I didn't even take the time to wipe the tears that fell on my cheeks, I just accepted my fate, motionless, like it was something I actually deserved. I tried to think about my boyfriend, filming a movie in an other country, but it couldn't distract me from the noises coming from his room. All these images of Heidi riding him as he touched her and told her how much he loved her invaded my brain and I felt suddenly nauseous. It made me realize one thing. It was not so much that they had sex, that really bothered me, although it did hurt me to some extent. What was really hard to accept was that he may have feelings for her, stronger feelings than he had for me. I also couldn't really believe he cared so little about me that he'd literally do it while I was in the same house, in the room literally next to mine.

I cried more, feeling like this moment would never fucking end. It's only when I heard his voice for the first time that something inside me seemed to click. He had groaned and I hated it. It was a low and simple grunt but it made me want to literally die on the spot. I don't know where I found the strength but I quickly got up, walked back to the guest room and grabbed my purse before rushing to the front door and stepping out of the house into the dark night. The door closed roughly behind me and I realized they may have heard. I quickly left and ran across the street, my shoes hitting the ground being the only sound around. It was only when I was totally out of breath that I decided to call a cab. I just wanted to erase that whole evening from my mind. I just wanted to erase all my feelings and be happy again but I couldn't lie to myself. The only time I was truly happy was when I was with Niall... and that was over. There was no hope left inside me.

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan story #niall horan writing #my fanfics #yam #i just want to write the next chapter tbqh #i just cant wait to write it!!!

[drangues]

I hope you’re right, but the future remains to be seen. On the upside, I’m finally gonna be able to see my therapist again! Which is good because I can finally report back on how my meds are doing. Also nooo I’m sorry your teacher is a Fool, that sucks. They clearly don’t know Good Kitty Doodles when they see them. Anyways, YEAH their dynamic is one of my favorites, they’re like. The definition of the vitriolic best buds trope, I feel like? (Nyanon, 1/7)

And it is a bit annoying when people reduce them to Kunikida hating Dazai and Dazai mocking Kunikida, because like you said, that’s part of it!!! But they also trust each other a lot, Dazai genuinely believes that Kunikida is a good man and I do think he tries to base a lot of his morals off of Kunikida’s (and Oda and Atsushi and Fukuzawa, but this isn’t about them), and I think that, while he finds Dazai’s antics annoying, Kunikida very clearly trusts and cares about him? (Nyanon, 2/7)

Sure he thinks he could take things more seriously, but he trusts in his ability to get the job done when it needs to happen, and he even plays into his antics a few times! That fic does sound like them though, Dazai being Extra and Kunikida being exasperated because “you’re dying and this isn’t a manga (unless we break the fourth wall)??? Please focus on staying alive so you can actually confess to the brat.” I love the two of them so much. (Nyanon, 3/7)

Moving on a bit, I seem to have bad luck with friends??? If they don’t randomly stop talking to me if they’re online friends (not for mean reasons, contact just tapers off), then I’ve has like. Physically abusive friends and friends who lied to me and took advantage of how gullible I was as a kid? I’d hope I get a friend like that but at this rate I’ve accepted my lot as a hermit. I am an introvert though, so I guess it’s fair. Back to BSD, though! (Nyanon, 4/7)

I BET OLD ATSUSHI GETS IT FROM FUKUZAWA, he’s been taught his Ways. And Atsushi is probably the one giving people hugs half the time, he’s touch starved and very nice to hold and be held by, again, like a cat- Speaking of, at least it’s a nice rent free thought and not something Super Weird like the theme song of a kids show (yes I hate having songs stuck in my head). But yeah, poor thing needs hugs, preferably from the rest of the ADA when he’s feeling inadequate. (Nyanon, 5/7)

I want them to tell him how much he means to them and shower him with love and affection. And listen, Atsushi is a Literal catboy but he isn’t anywhere near as chaotic as Dazai is, he isn’t a sadist, he isn’t a sugar addict, he isn’t,, The Tanizaki Family (TM), as far as Kunikida is concerned it’s a dream come true. The fact that he actually does try his best and take on extra work when Kunikida is overwhelmed is just a bonus. (Nyanon, 6/7)

Also Atsushi is an indulgent big brother who says fuck gender norms, he adores Kyouka to bits and if she wants him to model some fashion that she likes then he isn’t gonna say no. Anyways, moving on to another Scenario Concept: I’m reading a chat fic right now, so how do you think that’d go with BSD? I know they aren’t action stories but they’re always great if you find a good one,,, I feel like there’d be pictures of Atsushi as a tiger are being thrown around at lightspeed. (Nyanon, 7/7)

WOOO HELL YEAH IM GLAD YOU CAN GET BACK TO YOUR THERAPIST!! make sure to take not of EVERYTHING all right?? dont reduce to “eh it’s fine” S M H

and yes!!! i also hate how theyre reduced like that, though we also got the anime adaption to blame here because they really love to Crank That Part Of The Dynamic up, so the fans are not TOO much to blame. Plus as you said, they trust each other a lot clearly. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAN FUCK ALL YOUR FRIENDS YOUVE HAD SO FAR S M H, i hope the abusive ones Rot In Hell they did not deserve to do that to you i swear. i understand if this makes you be more closed off but please dont let that hinder you from experiencing the true beauty of people that actually care!!! relationships/friendships take time to build so just have patience im sure youll get someone soon!! i believe in you!!

man you have songs stuck in your head?? mood, i feel that, it’s pretty hard for me to have Something stuck in my head for too long because of how many different thoughts my brain spits out constantly, it’s like several tabs open with many of them playing different sounds it’s all a M E S S but i like it uwu

atsushi is the Least weird in the ADA and kunikida appreciates him, im sure kunikida is the type to say something caring in a threatening voice and then play it off as something Logical like “make sure to not overwork yourself- good health is important for good work ethics”

i’m sure atsushi would feel weird being shoved feminine stuff in his face at first, but because he cant say and loves kyouka to bits he would sit through it and start actually liking it because really, why Not? Whats Wrong Exactly? nothing. thats the point.

I WANT A CHATFIC OF THE ADA LIKE FROM WHEN ATSUSHI FIRST GETS HIS PHONE AND ALL THE CHATFICS THERE MAN (though except for all those intense ass arcs man i like fics where i ignore the canon arcs that happened because F U C K that personally, bsd has VERY emotionally draining arcs imo and mainly the reason i stuck around is cause of the characters OSGDHJSK)

#anon #ask #ask anon #anon ask #nyanon #nyatsushi anon #bsd

[prissypickle]

I did it

One year ago today I finished highschool. One year ago today I finished the toughest journeys of all times. Highschool was probably one of the worst experiences of my life. There was so many people who ruined it but there was so many people who made it better for me. My freshman year I attempted suicide and was admitted to a mental hospital and and no school wanted to take me in. At the time Fir Ridge Campus didn’t take in freshman. So I had no choice but to drop out. David Douglas straight up told me that I couldnt go there. I had too many problems and They couldn’t give me an education. In spring of my freshman year I enrolled in an online school called metro east web academy. Of course with all my mental health issues I had no motivation to do any of it. In the end I only got one credit for it. And that was for creative writing. I’m with ICTS which is where people come outd to your house three times a week for therapy. So I was with them for six months. It was hard saying goodbye. But then I went yo seeing a therapist once a week. I was still cutting often. But back to my schooling, I didn’t do anything and my mom was so pissed at the david doglas school district because the refused to put me in a school and finally she wrote a three page nasty letter saying how I needed to be in a school and thats how I got to fir ridge.

My freshman year I was so scared. I couldn’t tell you how scared I was. I didn’t go to school. I was fucked up in the head, cutting and I didn’t know anyone. So I didn’t really talk to anyone on my first day. But within a few days I met a small group of friends that I could relate to. Which was great. The next best thing was that there was a school counselor and a therapist that came to the school. So on top of going to seeing a therapist once a week I went to see him once a week. He was from Trillium services. He was a great therapist. I saw him from 45 minutes to an hour. My school counselor was mamed Michael and he was probably the best counselor anyone could ask for. He understood me. When I needed my space he let me sit in the office or library and do my work. When I had my mental break downs he gave me a quiet space. He was amazing. I have terrible anxiety with loud noises and whenever we had a firedrill I would cry and have a panic attack when there was he warned me and brought me to the office telling me when so I wasnt as afraid. As I said. He was the best school counselor anyone could ask for.

I had this friend. Her name was Iris. I cared for her so so much she was my first friend I made in middle school and she went to a diffent school but she had problems at the time and so she was looking into my school and I was thrilled. But before ahe came she also had issues and so she went to a rehab place. I called her family every day to see how she was doing. I sent flowers and cards because well, wouldn’t a best friend do that? When she got out she started at Fir Ridge Campus a bit later. I was so happy we reunited again. We started having sleep overs and everything. Okay? But one time during a sleepover she stole her parents credit card and bought something, which was a peircing kit and I had no idea so she came to my house when it was delivered and took it before I was home. I’ll also mention around two years ago she stole my ipod. But anyway so this happened and it happened once more but with tea but ahe sent it to her house instead of mine. So her mom was like “you arent ever allowed to see her again” blaming me for her daughter peircing herself. That was the hardest thing for me to hear because she was my best friend. Or so I thought she was. I believe this was all happening during my Junior year or late sophomore I cant remember it was so hectic. Ill come back to this bitch a little bit later.

But my Junior year I did this amazing thing called camp pheniox. That was the second the best and worst part of highschool. Its a two day overnight camp plus 4 weeks of after care. During the two nights you broke yourself down talking about the horrible things in life and at the end you are rebuilding yourself and raising up into a pheniox. During the process you did multiple activites which were happy, sad and heartbreaking realizing how fucked up and broken you were on the inside. One of the days you clumb a tree and tell everyone what you committ to. And I said I committ to my family and my support system. And then you had to walk on a tightrope with another person and jump when you couldnt do it anymore. And the other classmates are completely in control of the rope and your harness. Then the second activity we did was get in a harness and go up and your classmates pull you up until you say stop. Basically a gaiant swing okay. So I was letting go past teachers which I will get on explaining to more. And then letting in good teachers and then you yank it and I did a 90 foot free fall and holy shit was that fun. As i said it was the best and wors part of it because i landed up in teen intensive outpatient because I was cutting and I was extremely depressed.

But back to the teacher thing. There was a history teacher her name was Karen and she was a bitch to me. She hated me. And She KNEW i struggled with anxiety and she KNEW that I hated being with loud people and so I always needed to go to the office to see a counselor and I always finished up my work at home. And finally she was like you have to go to detention to finish this. And so Im in the office complete sobbing and my council waves it off. And other time with her was when my counselor talked to her about it she didnt talk to me for 3 DAYS like seriously she was so immature. Then When I came back from thr weekend she didnt call on anyone else but me. Then at the end of the week there was a new seating chart and I came in late because I was talking yo the trillium therapist okay and she shows me my seat and Im calm and I say no. And shes like yes. And I calmly explain to her why I cant go sit next to him because be gave me anxiety. And then she PROCEEDS to yell at me infront of the whole class who is now stairing at me and Im completely crying now infront of the class go to the principals office to fucking write me a refferl because i was arguing with her. Which the princapal immediately threw it out. The princapal at the time was absolutely amazing. She took me out on the track as I cried and walked with me.

So my junior year is happening and I went to camp pheniox and outdoor school it was great okay. So I went to outdoor school for my third session and I broke my ankle and had to stay home for a week and you remember this Iris girl who is my best friend??? Well not anymore. When I was away at outdoor school where I couldn’t DEFEND myself she went to the counselor and said. That I raped her and drugged her with majauana. And In like balling my eyes out because Im so fucking confused and why she did that. And so the counselor literally asked if I did it and Im like what the fuck do you really think I did it. And Im like crying at her because Im so upset. Like who in the right mind would accuse someone of rape. I mean I work with children. I was a swim instructor at the time. If she went to the police I could’ve been arrested and fired from my job which she didnt go because she knew she was a lying skank ass bitch. Also they couldve drug tested me because I wasnt even smoking at the time! And so Im in the office and my counselor is like “what are you feeling?” And I littlerly upfront say” I want to punch this bitch in the face,” she she looked at me “you cant do that” and Im like “no shit I cant do it. I want to but tgat doesnt mean I am going to.” And she sighs like after and hour of fuming she tells me Im not allowed to tell ANYONE and Im like fine whatever.

But I go to my momma jill and tell her and I like an crying to her and shes just holding me. But seriously then the vice principal calls me in during third period to talk more about what happened ALSO i had a freaking alliby because I was at fucking teen Intensive outpaitent during the time she accused me! Basically it was a whole clusterfuck

. It got 100% worse when there was an assembly and youll never guess who was running it the skank ass Iris. So she started talking about rape. And then she says “someone here raped me” and then she looked over at me. I kid you not. And my dad was there and he stood up and I cant remember exactly what he said but it was along the lines of “you shouldnt accuse anyone of rape either,” he said or something like that Im to busy crying and my teacher holding my hand. Finally my dad comes over to me and says were leaving. So my worst fear now the whole school knows that Iris accused me of rape and drugging her. So im literally in the gym having the WORST mental breakdown of my life and I mean screaming at the too of my lungs dropping to the knees hitting the floor. There was the security guy and Joey one of the teachers along with the princapal and vice principal trying to calm me down. And my dads crying because hes upset because of what Iris had said. And they told me to stay home for a few days until I could calm down.

So I came bac the following monday. I was so depressed I wanted to die. I almost had another suicide attempt but I thought about Taylor Swift and how I would never get t meet her and that just made me hold onto life just a little bit longer. So by the end of the year it was time for prom and so I was nominated for.... you guessed it prom court equivalent to prom princess/prince and can you guesd who was nominated too? That bitch Iris. So we were BOTH up against each other and trust me I was NOT going to let her win. So I baked my ass off and probably made over 200 cupcakes and fed them to the entire school and when I was time for prom. I won. I won prom princess. That was the best night of my entire life. My entire highschool carrer I felt normal. Everything was perfect

. Soon my Junior year ended. And summer came and went and my Senior yesr started. I only needed 1 credit to graduate .5 government .5 global studies. So I took government first which I got like knocked down a ton because i refused to do presentations because i hate speaking infront of a class but I still passed with a A. Then global studies I REFUSED to take with Karen again. So I did 5 at least 250 page packets in one quarter. And I still graduated early two quarters early. I started school my sophomore year because they didnt count it as a freshman and ended my senior year. I worked my ass off. And I graduated in 2 1/2 years. I graduated. I did it. I made it. Evern after a suicide attempt. Witnessing my mom attempt suicide my sophmore year, Iris accusing me of rape. All of that and I still graduated and I was second in class too. I’ve never been more proud of myself in my entire life. I didnt think id ever make it here. I thought in 2014 I was going to die. But I didnt. I’m still here. Alive and succeeding in life. Im a caregiver now. I’m getting my CNA in July. I made it. I did it.

#little #babygirl #little space #baby #little girl #little one #age regression #princess #daddy #mommy #my story #graduation #class of 2018 #highschool #high school

[majornelson]

Xbox Game Pass: Just Cause 3, Life Is Strange, Ark: Survival Evolved, And More This January

Lives are strange (even stranger in video games). Have you ever jumped into a game because you wanted to be someone else? Like a high school student with superpowers that can stop time, a sneaky invisible robot in space, or perhaps you just want to be a farmer riding his tractor all day. Maybe even be the tractor!

Okay, you can’t be the tractor.

But you can be so many other people thanks to January’s Xbox Game Pass titles! We have many great games coming your way, in addition to the over 100 great games already included in your membership, that run the gamut from the punch in the feelings from the Life is Strange series (which we sneakily added over the holidays), to an actual punch in the face from Just Cause 3.

Without further ado, let’s jump into the new games:

Life is Strange Complete Season (Episodes 1-5) (December 20) Welcome to the portside town of Arcadia Bay. In the seminal award-winning narrative adventure game Life is Strange, you play as Max, a high school senior who discovers that not only can she rewind time, but that all her actions, no matter how big or small, have consequences that will last a lifetime.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm (Episodes 1-3) (December 27) A three-episode arc taking place years before the first game, Before the Storm puts you in the shoes of Chloe Price, whose rebellious character formed much of original game’s tone. As Chloe struggles with difficult changes in her own life, she will need to support her friend Rachel whose world continues to be rocked and shaken.

Life is Strange 2: Part 1 (January 3) A new adventure with new characters and the prevailing themes of friendship, family, and mystery the series has come to be known for. Life is Strange 2 will follow the path of two brothers, Sean and Daniel Diaz, as they are forced to flee from their home after an unexplainable and tragic event. Experience this first episode with Xbox Game Pass, plus look out for episodes 2-5 coming to Xbox Game Pass soon.

Ark: Survival Evolved (January 3) Ever wanted to run around on a mysterious, futuristic island full of giant dinosaurs? Cool, we thought so too. Which is why we’re bringing Ark: Survival Evolved to Xbox Game Pass in January. You’ll have to craft, hunt, and survive against not only the ferocious local wildlife, but the hundreds of other players as well all in the hopes of escaping the shores of this deadly island.

Farming Simulator 17 (January 3) It’s time to live out your dream as a farmer, but without that whole, getting dirt under your fingernails business. In Farming Simulator 17 you will have access to over 250 vehicles and equipment to help harvest a variety of crops, take care of livestock, and then sell your goods to your local market and continue to expand your farming empire so you can take over the world… ok, maybe that’s too far. But you can ride a tractor!

Absolver (January 7) Live out a life as martial arts expert focused on a variety of fighting skills, weapon knowledge, and hand-to-hand combat in the competitive, online world of Absolver. Journey across forsaken lands and come face to face with others like you, learning new combat skills, obtaining new weapons, gear, and armor along the way, all in the hopes of being considered worthy enough to be welcomed into the corps of the Absolvers.

Just Cause 3 (January 10) Cause chaos on a massive scale to take down a Mediterranean island’s evil dictator. Return as Rico Rodriguez in the third entry of this awesome open world action game that lets you skydive, swoop across mountain ranges, hijack vehicles, and experiment in all sorts of unique, hilarious, and explosive ways to get your mission done.

Aftercharge (January 10) Aftercharge is a bit like a cat and mouse game. But in space. With invisible robots (and no cats). With teamwork at its core, two teams of three players compete against one another – one must sneak across the battlefield to shatter six cylinders; the other is completely invincible, armed to the teeth, and must stop that from happening. Both teams need to work together, either coordinating attacks or creating distractions, all in the hopes of coming out on top.

Join Xbox Game Pass Today

With over 100 great games for one low monthly price, including highly-anticipated new Xbox One exclusives the day they’re released, including the highest-rated* Xbox exclusive of this generation Forza Horizon 4, plus more games added all the time, Xbox Game Pass gives you the ultimate freedom to play. If you haven’t tried Xbox Game Pass, join today and get your first month for $1, and discover your next favorite game.

For the latest Xbox Game Pass news, follow us on Twitter and Instagram, download the Xbox Game Pass app for Android and iOS and keep it tuned here to Xbox Wire. Until next month, game on!

*Source: Metacritic

via Xbox Live's Major Nelson http://bit.ly/2Rs7r5Q

#Xbox Live's Major Nelson

[doritofacedog-blog]

Heart Failure Drugs Market, By Drug Type, Estimates And Forecast, 2018-2018

There are many different venomous and poisonous snakes around, especially during the summer. Though it’s people’s faith in the outgrowth of the online pharmacies, people out there still find it non-variable to buy medicines online. However, prescription renewals, connectivity between physician offices and mail-order pharmacies, and manual entry of certain prescription information by pharmacists—particularly drug name, dosage form, quantity, and patient instructions—continue to pose problems. A cod supplement rich in Vitamins A and D helps the skin to retain moisture and combat dry skin problems. Some of the common symptoms are frequent urination, excessive thirst, unexplained weight loss, extreme hunger, sudden vision changes, tingling or numbness in hands and feet, tired feeling most of the time, dry skin, slow healing sores and unusually frequent infections. In time, people began to understand the brewing process and were soon brewing alcoholic beverages from every type of vegetable material available. Over time, politicians realized that many pharmaceutical companies were abusing this system. And there's lots of bacteria peacefully co-existing in our digestive system. Critical procedures like open-heart surgery, brain surgery or organ transplantation are not viable without general anesthesia. Even though doctors frequently convey that youll be asleep during operation, study has illustrated that being injected with anesthesia is not sleep at all. Most individuals must endure short term pain, critical pain, or even recurring pain. You will will need even bigger chambers, if you are likely to use a lot more herbs as perfectly. In order to understand this, you need to understand the patenting process. Type 1 diabetes is usually due to autoimmune destruction of the pancreatic beta cells whereas Type 2 diabetes occurs due to insulin resistance in target tissues, which causes the need for abnormally high amounts of insulin. The private clinics we work with are staffed by medical professionals and support staff who truly care about the health and well-being of each and every client. Different health systems will record and collect data differently, making comparisons hard. After being ingested in the system, it works by blocking the hormone called angiotensin, making the blood vessels to expand which makes them relax. If you are planning on making root beer (or other sodas) frequently, online canadian pharmacies then this is a good investment at 15-20 dollars. See page 487 for a recipe for Jamaica Ginger Beer (ginger ale). This is such a wonderful recipe that uses an amazing ingredient, Camu Camu. Why Nootropics are gaining popularity and how to choose the right one? WHY GO WITH PRESCRIPTIONS? The towel acts as a filter but wont completely block the UV rays, so you are still getting the tanning process started. If your teeth are hurting, you probably want to stop it as soon as possible. The following are all excellent brands available for parents looking for a pure, natural, organic product for bath time. Talking about the brands shaver, Norelco is the favorite. Prescribed online prescription refill will be called in to you from a regional drugstore or medical shop. In case you ask for a starter kit, you will be sent straight to an e-cig manufacturer like V2, Halo, or maybe Blu Cigs. It is specifically for people who do not like to spend a lot of money or time installing a new one. This would lead people to withdraw support on the government's anti-drug campaign which would hurt the efforts to fight against illegal drugs. We look for diet drugs that offer long-lasting benefits. We provide thousands of Americans with discount online drugs through our network of licensed Canadian pharmacies. It seems I had gone to my doctor simply requesting a pill (propecia - a drug to reduce hair loss). If the addict wants to quit using the drug or alcohol completely, they should seek treatment. The fact is that alcohol abuse rehabilitation can be successful only with the patients personal effort because alcohol addiction is a personal problem. The message that the body is in pain can no longer effectively reach the brain. It allows patients to bear the pain while providing the doctors the ease and comfort of doing their job. We offer best in industry consultation services by a group of experts to advice our clients on growing their business portfolio. ] There's a solid thread of techies involved with the Occupy movement, developing tools to help people organize more effectively and allow for mass communications across large and growing groups. As per the popular belief, asthma is considered to be an incurable disease by most of the people According to them, asthma is a recurring disease that can strike at any unknown point in time. It demonstrates the important finding that an HPV vaccination program can lead to a lower incidence of significant HPV-related disease in young women. Slow healing of wounds, particularly of the feet, can lead to gangrene, which may require amputation. Zinc deficiency can lead to slow wound healing, diarrhea and infections.

[trecblog]

Covid19 Guidance Update

New national restrictions announced

On Monday 4 January the UK prime minister announced a new lockdown in England, running from 5 January to at least mid-February. The lockdown measures are necessary to reduce levels of COVID-19 which are high nationally and locally and to protect against the new variant of COVID-19 that is more easily transmissible.

The measures mean that with few exceptions we must all now stay at home to protect each other and stop the spread of the virus. The COVID vaccination programme is underway, however, it will take time before this becomes effective at a community level. In the meantime, by following the Government guidelines we can protect our friends, families and communities. Our actions will also ease pressure on our NHS enabling them to treat both covid patients and those suffering from other conditions. We realise this will be difficult for many people but please be aware that support is available. We can help with advice on how to protect your mental health and wellbeing, help getting food items if you have no one else to turn to or financial support through government grants. 

Visit our website www.leicester.gov.uk/your-council/coronavirus/coronavirus-support-for-residents for advice or email [email protected] giving a contact telephone number if possible. If you are telling us about another person, please get their permission before giving us their phone number or address.

Protect yourself and your loved ones. Stay at home.

And remember to

wash ours hands regularly for 20 seconds with soap and water

always wear a face covering in enclosed spaces such as shops and where social distancing is difficult, for example when queuing

keep two metres apart from anyone you don’t live with.

Education

Schools and colleges have all closed with students (apart from children of key workers and those considered vulnerable) now being taught remotely.

The scheduled 2021 A-levels and GCSEs have been cancelled with guidance issued soon about how awards will be given.

Students studying certain degrees (e.g. medicine and veterinary science) will be returning for face to face lectures but other university students will access their lectures online.

Early years provision is unaffected, but you are advised to check with your childcare provider for individual arrangements

Places of worship

You are able to visit a place of worship for communal worship (social distancing and other measures will apply). You are permitted to attend a funeral or other event related to a death and attend a wedding (subject to guidance and maximum numbers). Please note that weddings are subject to strict guidance and permitted in exceptional circumstances.

Exercise

Gyms, leisure centres and outdoor facilities including outdoor gyms are closed. You may exercise outdoors but are only allowed to do so if you are:

·         On your own

·         With someone that you live with

·         With someone from your bubble

·         With one other person (if you are on your own)

Bubbles

You are only allowed to form a bubble under certain circumstances. You can only form a support bubble if:

you live alone

you are the only adult in your     household who does not need continuous care as a result of a disability

your household includes a child who     is under the age of one (as of 2 December 2020)

your household includes a child with     a disability who requires continuous care and is under the age of 5 (as of     2 December 2020)

you are aged 16 or 17 living with     others of the same age and without any adults

you are a single adult living with     one or more children who are under the age of 18 (as of 12 June 2020) – if     you share custody of your children with someone who you don’t live with     then your children can move freely between both households. You do not     need to form a support bubble to do this.

You must not form a support bubble with a household that is part of another support bubble.

You can form a childcare bubble if you provide or receive childcare from one other household if you live with someone under the age of 14 - you must not meet socially with your childcare bubble.

For more information visit the government’s website www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-support-bubble-with-another-household.

Seeking medical help

If you need medical treatment, then please do not hesitate to contact your doctor. Your GP may offer a telephone appointment service which means that you will not have to leave your home. Alternatively, you can call NHS 111 for medical advice over the phone.

You must still attend your routine appointments.

For more information and details of all of the restrictions go to the gov.uk website www.gov.uk/guidance/national-lockdown-stay-at-home

New Strain of Coronavirus

As you will have seen in the media a new strain of Coronavirus has been identified.

There is no evidence to say that this new strain affects people more severely, but it is transmitted more easily. This is why it’s is extremely important that we continue to follow the guidelines and stay at home.

Remember the less contact with other people that you have the lower the risk of catching it and passing it on to others.

Testing

Testing is really important to help us find out who has coronavirus so they can isolate and reduce the risk of it spreading.

There are two types of tests available:

·         Rapid test (lateral flow tests) – these will give you a result in less than an hour. Some residents without symptoms are choosing to get tested at our rapid testing centre at Fosse Neighbourhood Centre. There is no need to book and you get your results within an hour. Please remember to wear a face covering if you go. If you get a positive result you will need to self-isolate along with the rest of your household.

·         PCR tests – these are the bookable tests for those with symptoms. You will get your results within 48 hours. You must self isolate whilst you are waiting for the test results, as must anyone that you live with.

There are many testing centres in Leicester – for more information about where they are please go to our website – www.leicester.gov.uk/your-council/coronavirus/coronavirus-in-leicester-latest-news.

Isolation

If you have symptoms of coronavirus, or you have tested positive, you must self-isolate at home, even if you are a key worker. Everyone you live with must also stay at home.

This is because if you have coronavirus there is a high chance you could pass it to other people. By staying in your home, and away from others (you must not leave your home for any reason at all this includes going to work, daily exercise or shopping), you reduce the risk of passing the virus on to other people. This is the most important thing we can all do to prevent the spread of coronavirus.

If you are self-isolating because you have been in close contact with someone who has tested positive for coronavirus or who has symptoms, then you will be pleased to know that the isolation period has reduced from 14 days to 10 days. This is because you are at risk of having caught the virus from that person and need to reduce the risk of passing it on to others.

Current self isolation guidelines*

If you have  symptoms of coronavirus - Isolate  for at least 10 days or until you feel better – this may be longer  than 10 days (check the NHS website for latest guidance)

If you have  tested positive for coronavirus - Isolate  for at least 10 days or until you feel better – this may be longer  than 10 days (check the NHS website for latest guidance)

If you are  waiting for the results of a coronavirus test - If you  have symptoms you must self-isolate whilst waiting for the result. If the  test is positive you must isolate for 10 days from the start of symptoms or  date of positive test

If you live  with someone who has symptoms of coronavirus - You must  isolate for 10 days from the start of their symptoms

If you live  with someone who is waiting for coronavirus test results - If they  have symptoms, you must isolate whilst they are waiting for the test  results.  If the test is positive you  must isolate for 10 days from the start of their symptoms

If you have  been identified as a close contact of someone who has coronavirus - You must  isolate for as long as you have been advised to by your school or workplace  or the NHS test and trace service

For the latest guidance visit the NHS website:  www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/self-isolation-and-treatment/how-long-to-self-isolate/

If you're on a low income and cannot work while you self-isolate, you may be able to get a support payment of £500 and you may be eligible for Statutory Sick Pay (for more information visit the government’s website www.gov.uk/statutory-sick-pay/what-youll-get); or you may be eligible for Employment Support Allowance www.gov.uk/employment-support-allowance/eligibility

If you need any help whilst you isolate you could ask friends or neighbours to help you; or, if you don't have anyone to do this then visit our website or email [email protected]

Contact Tracing

If you test positive for coronavirus you will be contacted by the Test and Trace team (this could be either the national or local Leicester City Council team), they will ask if you understand what this means and if you need any support. They will also ask you for details of who have been in close contact with so that they can contact them and advise them to self isolate for 10 days.

The test and trace team will keep calling you for a period of time until they get this information so its really important that you give them as much information as you can. Your details will be kept anonymous.

Coronavirus Vaccine

The coronavirus vaccine continues to be administered in Leicester. The first groups to be vaccinated are people over 80, health and social care staff and care home residents. The priority groups for vaccination have been set by the government.

You do not need to contact your GP to arrange your covid vaccination - you will be contacted directly to book your vaccine. For more information visit the NHS website -  www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/coronavirus-vaccination/coronavirus-vaccine

Care homes

We know how hard this year has been for those with family and loved ones in care homes and we know that you are anxious to visit them as soon as you can. Unfortunately, due to the high risks involved the majority of care homes are not able to have visitors just yet.

As elderly people and care home staff are amongst the first to be vaccinated, hopefully we will not have to wait much longer to see our loved ones.

For more information:

 Subscribe to Your Leicester and get the latest information weekly via email

Continue to follow Leicester City Council on social media Facebook Leicester City Council and Twitter @Leicester_News

There is a range of videos that can be shared on our Your Tube channel Leicester City Council

They continue to update our translated materials on the webpages here

For the latest data on the situation in Leicester go to their website here

[christophersymes]

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<– Previous / Next –>

Chapter Four

A month later, Jules had been down for a while. His depression was in full swing, with a baseball bat full of nails, directly in his face. He'd hardly even made it to class that day, let alone online, and hadn't even gone to work yet and felt like crying. It was taking a lot to do anything, and he felt awful because he wanted to talk to Not-Elías so bad, but couldn't think of words to say aside from

good afternoon

. And he'd hardly spoken yesterday or the day before either. He hated it.

Mason had been hearing less and less from Jules the past few days, even though he'd been sending an embarrassing amount of messages. Jules did message back most times, but when she did she was curt and sounded... off.

masonfucker1000: jules

masonfucker1000: hope ur days going okay

masonfucker1000: hey what if humans were like bees and we had smth like a fucking stinger and if we killed someone w it we died and it was the only legal way to murder

masonfucker1000: i was hanging out w some friends and we ended up playing nerf guns and i somehow got a foam bullet down my pants

familyjules: ah, the only other thing you've ever gotten down ur pants.

masonfucker1000: hey are you okay? im kinda getting worried

masonfucker1000: if someone else threw a salad at you ill kick em

familyjules: afternoon, not-elías.

masonfucker1000: afternoon!! FINALLY!! juliet hath emerged! hey what's been going on???

♦️

Juliet.

He called him Juliet.

Jules froze, staring at the message, feeling tears pricking at his eyes. He hadn't told him, no, but still... He was Jules. Jullian. Anything except Juliet.

He stared at it, then grumbled to himself. "Juliet. Not. Fucking. Juliet." He got out of the truck and slammed the door, angry now that he even had to go to work. He stood by his truck, still staring at the message, then accidentally threw his phone on the concrete in the parking lot and stomped on it.

Then he realized what he'd done. Fuck. "Fuck, fuck, fuck. God damn it! Whatever." He picked up the pieces and pocketed the SIM card, telling himself he'd just buy a new one tonight after work and ship it to his house. He was enough of a dumbass already.

He tossed them in the dumpster as he went inside.

Mason frowned when there was no reply. An hour passed, even. Nothing.

A day.

masonfucker1000: jules? are you okay?

Jules was still upset, and still had no fucking phone.

Two days.

masonfucker1000: jules, please if i did something just talk to me

And a day after that, he was still upset, but at least he had a phone.

Three. Jules had never gone three days without at least a half-assed two word message.

Whenever he was home, he just stared at the message, fuming. Not-Elías had called him Juliet. He had to know him somehow, then, and by his deadname.

On the third day, the anger got bad enough he ended up messaging.

familyjules: how the fuck do you know my name and why are you doing this

Mason had been having lunch with the band when he got the message. He dropped his slice of pizza, mouth still open in shock. His eyes widened, and he excused himself, muttering under his breath that he'd be right back.

masonfucker1000: shit dude, what? juliet?

masonfucker1000: I just sort of guessed that's what it was short for

masonfucker1000: what do you mean???

Jules scoffed, opening Rabbit as fast as he could and sending Not-Elías a link.

As soon as he entered the room, Jules glared at the camera.

"My goddamn name is not Juliet, so stop calling me that. I don't know who the fuck you are, but you must know me and want to get to me now for some reason, so just... fucking stop being a dick—"

Mason gaped at Jules as she immediately started yelling and threatening at him. Jesus fuck.

"—and tell me the truth before I have to figure it out myself and beat your fucking ass. I'm not in the goddamn mood to be led on some goose chase and deal with bigots like you or deal with people who hold some stupid grudge against me. Leave me alone if that's the fucking case, or I will figure shit out and do something."

Not-Elias: jules geez

Not-Elias: holy shit

Not-Elias: i dont understand why youre so angry but im sorry if i pissed you off okay?

Not-Elias: i wont call u that anymore

Not-Elias: message me when you've calmed down

Not-Elias left the room.

Jules was still angry when he left the room. He ended up closing it too, only to reopen it later that night, as well as the fansite. He private messaged Not-Elías a link, promising in some garbled text not to yell again.

familyjules: rabb.it/familyjules pls cone ib i promize not to yellll i midd u

familyjules: misa u

Mason had been thinking about.... whatever that had been with Jules. She'd called him a bigot and talked about grudges. And Juliet was a definite no. He had a theory he was a bit too freaked to think much on. He frowned when he got a just barely comprehensible message. God, was Jules crying or something? He immediately clicked the link.

Jules was leaning back in the chair, pouring himself a shot from the bottle of vodka, singing a Nosam song along with the YouTube video. "Not-Elías!" he exclaimed, speech a little slurred, grinning. He leaned forward too fast and spilled half the shot on his shirt. "Whoops."

He downed the rest to prevent more spillage and then took a sip of Coke. "Hi, I wanted to say I'm sorry for earlier and yelling at you because it's obvious you're not anyone from high school because you're good unlike them. They couldn't even fake it. And I wanted to explain— I'm trans and I was bullied, and I miss you a lot but I've been sad a lot lately and it's cold and cold is triggering and I'm gonna drink more now." He poured himself another shot.

Mason's eyes widened in surprise at the state Jules was in. And then he was concerned. Very concerned.

Not-Elias: is that vodka?

Not-Elias: careful!

And then he froze as Jules spoke. Trans.

Fuck. So, okay. Mason didn't know himself that well after all. That's fine. It was okay. He tried to convince himself of that even if he felt a little nauseous and increasingly out of control.

He'd been such a dick when he was younger. Defensive, reckless, disrespectful, not caring about anyone else and keeping emotions bottled in. He had pretended to be confident, created a version of himself for everyone else and believed it. And once he'd been called out by so many, by Chris, he'd realized what he'd turned into: this sexist, queer-phobic prick, like a jock straight out of a movie.

He worked so hard to figure out why and relearn how he thought about things, about people, thinking about things he said to make sure he wasn't hurting anybody. He spent so much time learning himself inside and out. Actually starting to like himself for once, no more surprises. And even if his chest was aching and he couldn't breathe from hearing Jules say that, he knew he liked Jules a lot. He knew he had to deal with it.

He wasn't straight.

But he didn't know what to think— his own secrecy had been different— but— of course they weren't dating, and online— and Mason couldn't possibly pretend he knew what being trans was like. Whatever reason Jules had had for not telling him was probably a good one, even though it hurt. Mason realized he hadn't responded, and frankly didn't know how.

Not-Elias: okay

Not-Elias: youve def been drinking too much

Not-Elias: jules

Not-Elias: why didnt you tell me?

Mason paused, biting his lip. He didn't want to sound mad, but he was kind of upset. And he deserved to know why, didn't he?

Jules knocked back the shot, then leaned forward to read his messages. "I said I was bullied... They did some online too and I'm super scared about the fansite being a lot of people who could gang up on me sometimes—" Jules's lip trembled a little and he shook his head and touok a deep breath. No crying in front of Not-Elías.

"I was scared when I started thinking more and liking you, 'cause you were new and different and I was having fun talking to you, but you said you were cis and straight and it was actually real hard to even tell you I'm bi. And it's okay if you don't like me now cause you're straight and I'm a dude, I understand that."

Mason frowned at how Jules looked close to tears, instantly angry at everyone who'd hurt her— who'd hurt him.

His stomach turned as he thought about all the times he misgendered him. Oh God, he suddenly felt really sick. All of those shes and hers crawling up his throat.

Not-Elias: oh jules

Not-Elias: no i

Not-Elias: i like you

He bit his lip. Get over it, Mason.

Not-Elias: i guess i'm just gay. go figure

Jules wiped at his face with his shirt, then remembered there was vodka all over it and pouted a little, staring down at it.

Whoa, there was a flash. Mason's breath caught. He definitely saw a nipple and— fuck. But, oh God, was Jules drunk.

Not-Elias: listen do me a favor, baby, no more shots, yeah?

Not-Elias: put the vodka away

Yes, it felt a little weird calling Jules baby for a moment, knowing he was a guy, but it still felt right. Mason was fucking gay.

Oh, poor Andrew. All alone.

Jules read the messages and wanted to cry even more. He felt so silly for hiding it for so long, especially if it was going like this. "Are you sure?" he asked, staring at the messages.

And then the few about the vodka came through and he pouted, though he was blushing a bit at being called baby again. "But I don't wanna. Tomorrow's my day off and drinking is fun!" He grabbed the bottle, cradling it against his chest. "'S like my baby."

Not-Elias: im sure

Not-Elias: a hundred percent

Not-Elias: even if youre a complete mess

Not-Elias: and you've drunk

Not-Elias: youre drunk

Not-Elias: too much more and youll be poisoned

Not-Elias: ill be your baby instead

Jules grinned, leaning forward. His leg was bouncing now. He set down the bottle. "All right," he said. "But you're my baby now. You gotta come hug me."

Not-Elias: nice okay thank you

Not-Elias: u should drink water if you can

Not-Elias: oh i want to. i will

Mason hated this, not being able to talk to Jules. Especially when he was in this state. He needed comfort, and Mason wanted to give it and— damn it, he wished he could just turn on his camera. Maybe he should. He seriously considered it and— no, not right now, when he was drunk.

Jules tuned into the music again and gasped, grinning. He sang along a little, nodding and getting up to get water like he was told, completely forgetting he was in just a tank top and underwear— not even boxers, just underwear. He came back still singing, then lifted the water so Not-Elías could see it. "Water."

Mason whined a bit as Jules stood up, looking away a second later, staring at the tour bus ceiling. Why did the world want to be so generous yet so cruel?

Not-Elias: and you said you're not a singer

Not-Elias: good! drink up!

Jules grinned, taking a drink and leaning back a little in his chair. "Oh—uh— is there anything you want to listen to? Or watch?"

Not-Elias: uhhhhhh

Not-Elias: spongebob?

Jules nodded, opening up Amazon Prime and attempting to search for it. He misspelled it a few times, but got it in the end. "Oh, this is the best episode," Jules said, grinning and hovering over the Bubble Bowl episode.

They watched one and a half episodes, during which Jules had moved from the chair to his bed, putting the laptop on the chair. Mason honestly wasn't paying all that much attention to Spongebob. Jules was so cute, his drunk commentary endearing.

At some point Mason realized Jules had fallen asleep. He smiled, eyes going soft.

He barely thought about it when he turned on the mic.

"Goodnight, Jules."

Jules, fast asleep, groaned a little. "G'night," he mumbled. "Lub you."

Mason's heart jumped to his throat.

"Jules? Are you awake?"

He blushed hard, cheeks hot. He probably wouldn't mention that part to Jules in the morning.

"Nuh uh," Jules hummed, pulling the blanket over himself better. "'m sleep."

Mason laughed lightly. "Really? Sleeptalker, huh? I'll let you sleep. Talk to you in the morning."

Mason had turned off his mic and hadn't even noticed he had fallen asleep.

"Mason? Why're you still on your computer? S' the middle of the night."

Mason jerked awake, blinking as he looked at Jules on-screen and then at Chris on the top bunk across, leaning over the bed and frowning at him sleepily.

Mason sighed, rubbing some sleep out of his eyes. "I think I'm gonna tell Jules," he said.

"What?" Austin grumbled from below Chris, turning and blinking wildly at Mason. His wavy hair was sticking up in all directions, like static or that kid from Meet The Robinsons.

"He said he's gonna tell Jules," Andrew growled from above Mason, grumpy from being woken up, but listening, blankets tugged tight over his otherwise naked body.

Chris supported his chin on his hand as he tried to get a better look at Mason's face. He was serious. "What changed finally?"

Mason sighed, panic returning as his brain turned the lights back on and told him he was supposed to be freaking out. "It keeps getting harder. And we didn't talk for a bit and— last night— tonight he— he's trans. And he was drunk— "

"Wait— "

"Did you say— "

Mason groaned, dropping his face into his pillow. "Don't--"

Andrew wheezed from above him. "Fuck."

"You're— "

"I get to say it! You dumbasses got to come out," Mason whined as he sat up. "I'm not straight. Probably, uh, pan."

Austin started laughing sleepily as he leaned up on his elbow to properly make fun of Mason.

"I saw it coming," Andrew mumbled. "But fuck you."

Chris bit his lip worriedly. "Okay, but remember when that one fan gave out your number and address even though the address was fake, but you had to change your number and— "

Mason sighed loudly. "Yes, I remember."

And he did remember. He'd thought about it quite a bit, all the worst case scenarios. Jules being pissed off at being royally catfished and outting him to the world in the worst way possible, or Jules being way too happy and outting him and not really caring about him, or Jules just completely cutting him off in shock and outrage. Mason shook the thoughts away. "Jules isn't like that. I just— I want her— him to know, I'm sick of lying."

Austin shrugged. "Okay. Your choice, man. Go for it."

Andrew hummed in agreement, giving the idea a thumbs up that Mason didn't even see, already falling asleep again. Chris sighed and smiled, "I'm sure you're right. You're a good judge of character."

Mason smiled, "Thanks."

In the morning, Jules woke up to find he'd fallen asleep on Rabbit with Not-Elias. He smiled, nuzzling his face against the pillow. He was so cute. So good. He remembered getting drunk and telling him everything, and he'd taken it in stride, just accepting...

He sighed, staring at the icon of Mason on the screen. He wished he knew him. This was just making him want to date him more, though he knew his own rules and didn't want to break them. It felt kinda shitty to feel like that, though, especially since Jules wanted to just... live, really, but it felt like there was always something holding him back. He wiped at his eyes, realizing he was crying a little. God, he was so pathetic.

Mason woke up again to see that Jules was awake. He smiled, then noticed he seemed kinda sad. Mason got up, washing his face and brushing his teeth, looking at himself in the mirror for a moment. Well, he looked as good as he usually did, he guessed. He guessed? Fuck. He was nervous. He groaned and put on a hoodie, yawning as he walked past the bunks and sat down, putting his earphones in.

Not-Elias: good morning! how're you feeling?

Jules jumped a little at the message tone, wiping his eyes again to make sure any trace of tears was gone. He disguised it as sleepy rubbing his eyes and smiled. "Morning, Not-Elias. I feel..." Jules considered telling the truth, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He settled on one thing. "Hungover. Kinda tired. My head hurts a little. How are you feeling?"

Not-Elias: a little flipped upside down, honestly

Not-Elias: but uh, overall, pretty good

Not-Elias: okay, actually im a little nervous

Not-Elias: hey

Not-Elias: do u know what would be cool

Not-Elias: u should play me some bass

Jules smiled. "I'm glad you're feeling okay, though. I mean— What happened is... a lot, probably. If you need to talk, I'm here. And you really want to hear me play right now? I— uh— okay." He leaned over, picking up his bass from the stand by his bed.

"I wonder if I can play it laying down." He plucked a few strings, then shifted his hands to play it. He laughed a little. "I guess I can... God, you have no idea how many times I've dropped this thing. I'm shocked it still plays." He lifted it up, grinning.

Mason smiled, watching him fondly as he grabbed the bass and played around with it, rambling and laughing. What was he even going to say? 'Hi, I'm not Elias, I'm Not-Elias, with a dash' or 'I'm Not-Elias, AKA Mason Hill AKA masonfucker1000 AKA an asshole?' or even 'Hey, it's Mason, please don't be mad at me or post about this?'.

God, everything he could think of was woefully lame. It was like his nerves had turned him into Chris.

"There's actually a really bad scratch somewhere on here, I think it's on the back... I dropped it when I first got it because my parents told me some shit, I don't even remember what, but it scared me. Oh— oh, I think it was when my grandpa died. They told me and I just... dropped it. It's funny now, because like... y'know, that was my grandpa, but— "

Mason couldn't take it any longer. He moved the mouse, cursor hovering over the camera icon. It seemed easier to do it when Jules was occupied, it made Mason less nervous than when he was looking at the screen. He turned his mic on first, then his camera, smiling. "Uh, hey," he said softly to get his attention. Hey wasn't exactly what he had wanted to say first, but fuck it. His heart was thumping in his ears.

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #lgbt stories #trans stories #lgbt writers #celebritystatus

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10 Tips to Improve Your Online Gambling in 2019

Thetime for new years resolutions has come and gone. But this doesnt mean thereisnt still plenty of time to commit to any number of positive improvements forthe year ahead. Ifyoure a keen online gambler, theres always something you can do to improve your enjoyment and your successrates alike. Or at least, get out of one or two bad habits for the benefit ofyour bankroll. So ifyoud like to enjoy your best year in online gambling to date, here are 10suggestions you might wish to consider for 2019: 1. Bring a little variety into the mix Firstup, everyone knows that variety is the spice of life. Hence, its worth making2019 the year you finally get a little more adventurous with your gaming. Of course, this contradicts the advice thatyou should stick to what you know and focus on the activities you both enjoyand understand. Nevertheless, occasionally throwing something completely newinto the mix really can maximise the enjoyment of gambling online. If youreprimarily an online casino gamer, why not give sports betting a shot? If youreall about poker, why not see how you fare at baccarat? 2. Start a gambling journal If youtake your gambling seriously, you should consider a gambling journal mandatory.The idea being that you keep a close eye on your wins and losses, graduallybuilding an invaluable resource to help guide your future decisions. Its not themost interesting activity at first, but youll soon get into the habit of writingthings down as they occur. Glance back at your journal from time to time andyoull find it much easier to keep things in perspective as you go. 3. Explore online casino bonuses Onlinecasino bonuses are there for the taking, so why not take full advantage ofthem? Just for the record, were not suggesting for one minute that every casino bonus out there is worthbothering with. If the wagering requirements and general terms are tooexcessive, youd be better off avoiding them entirely. Nevertheless, youll occasionally come acrossan outstanding deal that could help you get so much more for your money. Itssimply a case of tracking them down and signing up! 4. Allocate time and money Responsibleonline gambling means taking responsibilityfor how much time and money you invest in your activities. For 2019, therefore,why not begin allocating yourself a specific amount of time and money eachweek/month? Rather than simply lettingtime slip away and spending far more than you intended to, its far better toadopt a proactive approach. Think about how much time and money you canrealistically afford to spend on your online gambling activities, employing asmuch willpower as necessary to stick to your guns. 5. Do some research Whateveryour preferred online gambling activities, there are thousands of books,journals and online tutorials you should probably be checking out. If youintend to get the most out of your time spent online, it simply makes sense todig a little deeper and do some research. Ultimately, most casino games arebased purely on chance and theres little you can do to affect theoutcome. Nevertheless, theres always plenty you can do to ensure you makelogical decisions and avoid excessive losses. 6. Try a new onlinecasino Newonline casinos and sports betting sites are opening their doors at record-pace.Why not take the time to see what theyve got to offer? Standards varysignificantly from one operator to the next, but there are nonetheless someoutstanding newcomers to the scene that are more than worth checking out. Usecustomer reviews and recommendations to weed-out the less desirable entities,check out whats on offer before signing up and give those introductory bonusterms a good read. 7. Learn more aboutcasino licenses Generalonline casino standards have never been higher, but not every operator plays bythe rules. In addition, the threat posed by shady criminals is growing by theday and should be taken seriously. As such, its in your best interests tolearn more about casino licences and discover the benefits of workingexclusively with regulated gaming providers. Not to mention, do everything youcan to safeguard your personal information and minimise the likelihood offalling victim to identity theft.

8. Allocate your winnings Statistically,theres nothing you can do to guarantee you will win X amount of money in Yamount of time. Even with all thecalculations and intuition in the world, youve still no idea when or whereyoull strike it lucky. Nevertheless, theres nothing to stop you dreaming ofwhat might be. Consider allocating your winnings ahead of time, perhapscontributing towards something youve had your eye on. Every time you win 20or more, for example, it could be added to a kitty to build towards a holiday youknow you deserve. This way, youre far less likely to blow your winnings on thekind of random crap you usually spend your spare money on! 9. Get yourself offline Onlinecasinos and sports betting sites do a great job recreating the experience ofthe real thing. Nevertheless, many would argue that there really is nothinglike the enjoyment of a real-life casino or a busy bookmaker. If its somethingyouve never experienced before, why not take the plunge in 2019? Even if itturns out that the online alternative is your preferred option, youll havelost nothing by finding out and could have gained a lot! 10. Get into live-dealer gaming Lastbut not least, live-dealer casino gaming is quickly taking over as the new standardfor discerning online gamers worldwide. Delivered by a decent operator,live-dealer gaming effectively combines the benefits of online casino gamingwith the excitement, immersion and social interaction of the real thing.Live-dealer gaming has come 7bitcasino leaps and bounds in terms of both quality andperformance, so there really has never been a better time to check it out foryourself. You might also find the following articles interesting: TRENDING POSTS

[oltnews]

Taylor Swift sang one of his last albums Lovermost heartbreaking songs of the One world: together at home Special TV. The pop superstar country played "Soon, you will get better" for the star event.Writing about his mother Andrea's battle with cancer, "Soon'll Get Better" is a piano track, and Swift's One world the performance found her sitting in front of a piano at home and playing the instrument to accompany herself. The recorded version of the song features the Dixie Chicks on harmony.Swift announced Friday April 17 that all of its tour dates will be canceled in 2020 due to the new coronavirus pandemic (COVID-19). "I'm so sad that I won't be able to see you in concert this year," Swift wrote in a tweet, "but I know it's the right decision. Please stay healthy and safe. I will see you on stage as soon as possible, but for now, what is important is to commit yourself to this quarantine, for all of us. "On social media, Swift expressed the need for people to stay home and quarantine to stop the spread of the coronavirus, which has infected and killed thousands of people around the world. In March, the artist quietly sent money to a few fans who lost their income due to virus-related stops; she also offered financial assistance to staff at Nashville's record store, Grimey's, and donated money to Feeding America and the World Health Organization.One world: together at home, organized by pop star Lady Gaga, brought together a multitude of celebrities, film stars and comedians to musicians of all genres, for appearances and performances at home. The organization Global Citizen organized this massive event, which was both broadcast online and broadcast on a number of major television networks around the world, at the request of the United Nations and the World Organization for health in light of the coronavirus pandemic.One world: together at home was an awareness event rather than a fundraiser (although donations from partner companies went to the WHO Solidarity Response Fund). The campaign and those involved encouraged fans to stay home to help stop the spread of the coronavirus, but also to learn about the disease and what is being done to help those affected.These country artists have all been tested for coronavirusMore celebrities who have been tested for coronaviruswindow.twttr = (function(d, s, id) var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0], t = window.twttr (document, "script", "twitter-wjs")); (function(d, s, id) var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//connect.facebook.net/en_US/sdk.js"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); (document, "script", "facebook-jssdk")); !function(f,b,e,v,n,t,s) if(f.fbq)return;n=f.fbq=function()n.callMethod? n.callMethod.apply(n,arguments):n.queue.push(arguments); if(!f._fbq)f._fbq=n;n.push=n;n.loaded=!0;n.version='2.0'; n.queue=[];t=b.createElement(e);t.async=!0; t.src=v;s=b.getElementsByTagName(e)[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(t,s)(window, document,'script', 'https://connect.facebook.net/en_US/fbevents.js'); fbq('init', '631470830669776'); fbq('track', 'PageView'); https://oltnews.com/watch-taylor-swift-brings-soon-youll-get-better-to-one-world-taste-of-country?_unique_id=5e9deac274458

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