#and yes this is gay but i'm imagining that in this scene they don't realize they have feelings for each other yet hee hee

[tarufai]

#spiderman #deadpool #spideypool #comic #I did this for a class #an ENGLISH class #but we're learning about comics as literature and for the most recent paper we had an option to make a comic #and the main theme we're studying this semester is power so i made this #anyway I forgot how goddamn hard these two are to draw #I hate how complicated their costumes are like its so unnecessary #but I also think this is the most accurately I've drawn them #and they looked consistent through this whole thing #so I'm really proud of myself #and yes this is gay but i'm imagining that in this scene they don't realize they have feelings for each other yet hee hee #some of these were fuckin hard angles too what was i doing to myself!!! this was hard af!!! wtf!!! #and to be honest i drew all of this yesterday and today!!! that was so much drawing!!! og my god!!! #but it was fun he he #except i will always hate the webs on spideys costume. hell world #they have to look such a specific way and it is not easy #enough rambling. enjoy #also sorry im reuploading this because i had accidentally colored in one of spideys speech bubbles as yellow

[smytherines]

Rewatching SAF and thinking about the mega bastards lore and oh god, the rizz was alcohol. The rizz was alcohol. Agent Mega you poor beautiful gay baby, I'm so sorry.

Think about it-

A1P1 Agent Mega has the rizz (as the kids call it), he's drinking, he's confident, he's swaggering, he fucks everything up but in a cool way

Arms deal? No alcohol, as far as we know. Massive botch.

Casino scenes? No alcohol, drinks a glass of cream, complete fucking absence of game to an embarassing degree, can't even tell that Tatiana is very very obviously flirting

I haven't gotten back around to Doing This, but I don't remember any alcohol in that scene? He's trying so hard to be the person Tatiana (and his mom) expect him to be, but he's still heartbroken and probably going through alcohol withdrawal (which is so much worse than most people realize), so he screws that up so badly that Tatiana realizes he is not into women the moment he kisses her.

He was drinking even before the fall, to manage all of this. This works so strongly with ADHD Agent Mega headcanon too, like of course this guy has intense rejection sensitive dysphoria- he's gay and a disaster.

The defensiveness, the insecurity, the jealousy, he's constantly trying to be the thing people want him to be, but because he's uncomfortable and impulsive and drinking to manage that constant pressure, he fucks up a lot, which just makes everyone criticize him more.

And being gay, he believes (with good reason) that everyone in his life would reject him if they knew who he really was. He wouldn't be allowed to do the one thing he feels like he is good at, and pre-banana at least, the one thing that grants him access to Owen.

So he drinks. He drinks to turn off that constant stream of anxiety over how others perceive him, whether they think he's cool or competent or straight. He drinks and seduces women because that's his job. His job is the thing he is good at. He wants to be good at something. He wants to feel like a real important guy.

Not to write a fanfic on tumblr dot com but you can kind of imagine him thinking about Owen wistfully, having a 4th or 5th drink, and then going up to a random lady's hotel room to do his job. That's heartbreaking.

Oh god. And One More Shot. He falls pretty spectacularly off the wagon, drinking until he's totally drunk, and he says shit like "I feel so good inside," and "I feel the feeling coming back to me now." Like yes. That feeling is alcohol. You're feeling the effects of alcohol, buddy.

The rizz was alcohol.

#spies are forever #agent curt mega #owen carvour #curtwen #curt mega #tin can bros #mega bastards

[forgottenspring]

A whole new level to being the supposedly "closeted" gay cousin at Thanksgiving. I know this may not get notes/views, but I was reminded of this today. So I wanted to share a wild "Me the Gay Cousin at Thanksgiving" story from two years ago that felt right out of a 90s sit com special episode.

Since I'm spending this Thanksgiving chilling with a friend instead, I realized yall might like to hear this story.

In my family my sister and I are the only two of our age. The rest of the cousins are MUCH young than us. Us being young adults and our cousins being lil gremlin preteen boys. We're talking like 10 boys overall and our two lil bros, and two newly not toddler girls at the time.

So bc of this my sister and I always sit at the kids table bc our uncles and aunts didn't want us excluded and feeling we couldn't be kids. (I am now 25 turning 26 for context, so I was about 23).

So, I know my family is highly religious and horribly homophobic/transphobic. So lil pagan nonbinary lesbian cupio aroace me has been squeaking by bc I've been holding my tongue and refusing to date in Utah around family for years in the past. Unless it was a group date with friends and the guy asked me out.

So imagine my shock when me and my lil bros and dude cousins are chilling on the floor playing a board game (my sister was at a friend's house that year) bc I don't want to hear the adults say anything that will rile me up bc I really don't want to be outed this year.

And right after I finish my turn, my kid cousin slides over a whiteboard and I look down and freeze in shock. It says "R U Gay?" And I'm knowing his parents are especially homophobic. And what I was afraid of AKA I'm out of the closet and tired, I wrote "Yes" and turned back to the game. He froze and squeaked out a "What!?" And he whispers back to me asking if it's true, as if I just admitted I was insane. And I shrug, trying to play it cool as I realize suddenly the ramifications of it and freaking out now bc he's a blabbermouth. I see both my brothers make eye contact to make sure I'm okay, which I nod to them. I then whisper back to my cousin and go "Yeah" and he tells me that's wrong bc nobody's gay and if they are they're evil, it's a joke you ask ppl in school. And I realize I have to walk this back immediately before my aunt and uncle are told and I'm outed on Thanksgiving and I haven't even come out to my dad yet.

So I shrug tell him I know a lot of people at school who are gay and they're really sweet people. And lie and tell him I'm not gay that I was just playing into the joke. He seems shocked that gay people exist and I know them. But finally after a bit he nods thinking nothing of it, but at least he's cooler about the gay topic I guess and I just survived.

I go downstairs where the adults are hanging bc the boys are running around in the snow and I'm wanting to try being with the adults, since I am one, for a minute. And to nobody's shock after a bit of joking around and stuff, my dad, aunts, uncles, and grandma are raving about "These people nowadays pushing their politics and gay agenda." I don't know how to react, so after a few minutes, I turn around and go back upstairs realizing what could have happened that night.

Luckily I came out later on to my dad and my siblings have already known for years so I felt less bad. But overall it really felt odd when I was put on the spot like that and then hearing my family talk like that. Like-... It felt like something you hear about on TV shows and go "That's such a contrived scene that doesn't happen in real life." And in that moment I was processing the whole scenario and less if I wanted to come out or not.

So anyways probs going to avoid Thanksgiving moving forward for multiple reasons, but mainly for the fact that I can't stay in the closet anymore bc I've been out for too long and I WILL get into arguments over gay/trans rights without thinking bc I'm tired and bad at staying in the closet. And the few ppl in my family who know other than my sibs have reacted oddly to horribly. And I really would prefer not being ostracized from the family whose already pretty sure I'm somehow gay bc I didn't pray enough or something rn bc I'm tired and in an unstable place that if I need to stay with a relative I'd like not for it to be being hate crimed 24/7. But I live in a different state than my family now and much better for it.

I have a good group of friends that are family to me now and I know I'll be okay. And I'm happy and living my best life rn and enjoy every day I'm being myself around ppl who accept and love me. But it still hurts to think about some days y'know.

TLDR: My preteen cousin asked on a whiteboard "R U GAY?" two years ago and I nearly outed myself on Thanksgiving to my religious homophobic family, bc I didn't realize he was doing a middle school prank.

#TLDR at End. #Just wanted to get it off my chest bc it's rlly coming to mind rn. #thanksgiving #gay cousin #gay thanksgiving #lgbtq+ #lesbian #nonbinary #aromantic #asexual #aroace #cupioromantic #ose

[thatswhatsushesaid]

Xiyao?

oh!! xiyao is the otp to end all otps for me (@verdantrivers tagging you as well since you also asked about them, even tho you already know everything I'm going to write anyway)

ship it 🤌

What made you ship it? in the novel, it was absolutely the teacups scene. but uhhh this is embarrassing but I came into this fandom backwards, and so my first exposure to xiyao was the show! tl;dr I was looking for a show on netflix to fill the void left in my soul after the depressing end of The Rise of the Phoenixes, and someone somewhere rec'd The Untamed because "it's gay and the gays get a happy ending!!" me, a depressed bisexual, "oh, what a relief, I could use a happy ending for the gays after all that depressing straight people nonsense I just suffered through." (joke's on me, my chosen gays did not get their happy ending, I clowned myself) anyway, /scuffs foot, it was the box scene. their cute little shuffle over the box. the shy yet lingering eye contact. meng yao's eyes doing the thing that zhu zanjin has them do every time he looks at lan xichen for longer than a second, like he's noticing how beautiful starlight is for the first time, and lan xichen looking like meng yao just awoke something in him that he didn't even realize was there until that moment. meng yao's beautiful face journey when he sees lan xichen and rushes to say goodbye to him. like... I feel it bears mentioning at this point that I knew so little about this show or the canon source material that I literally thought that xiyao was going to be the main ship with the happy ending just based on this moment alone, and so you can imagine by dismay once I realized how tragically wrong I was. RIP past me. anyway, while I absolutely prefer jgy's characterization and arc in the novel canon, I will nevertheless die for the way lhk and zzj chose to bring xiyao to life on-screen. they did the reading.

What are your favorite things about the ship? besides the siren call of a decades' long near-romance that is doomed by the narrative, probably that when given a choice (or rather, when jgy believes that he has a choice), jgy and lxc always choose each other, both when the stakes are low and when they are extremely high. one bad faith and garbage take on their dynamic that I often see trotted out by jgy's harshest critics is that he exploits lxc's affection for him exclusively to cement his position within the lanling jin sect and to further his own ambitions, which seems like such a dull and reductive way to view the nearly two decades they spend together in each other's lives. I also just don't understand where this interpretation comes from?? is it just from jgy using the pass token to get the song of spirit turmoil from the library pavilion's forbidden section? because yes, that was a violation of lxc's trust, but also like... would there even have been a forbidden section in the library pavilion for him to steal from if jgy hadn't sacrificed so much of his dearly bought social and political capital upon gaining his recognition from jgs to help the gusu lan rebuild the cloud recesses? this is not me trying to diminish that violation of lxc's trust, but just to emphasize that jgy actually had very little to gain, politically speaking, at the time he pressed his father to provide aid to the extremely vulnerable and weak gusu lan, but he did it anyway, and he did it because he knew lxc needed the help. smaller stakes: given the choice between being in anyone else's company or each other's, they always gravitate towards each other in any space they occupy together, and that does things to me lol.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? with very few exceptions, I don't enjoy lan-furen as a concept 🤷‍♀️ I didn't even fully understand why the lan-furen AUs didn't work for me until I read commentary specifically by you and @fincalinde and @confusion-and-more (I think) about how deeply jgy's pursuit of his birthright with the lanling jin is integral to his character. because I do remember reading objectively good and well-written lan-furen fic that should have been providing me with emotionally satisfying xiyao catharsis after getting hit by the truck that is the canon ending, and instead left me feeling like I'd eaten too many bites of a pie that was good yesterday but has already started to turn. idk that metaphor is getting away from me. also, more fics where jgy is the soft dom in the bedroom, please, that's my favourite jgy flavour.

#asks answered #xiyao #mdzs #mdzs meta #lan xichen #jin guangyao #he did crimes?? good for him 😌 #flute solo 🎶

[antisociallilbrat]

Spicy opinion time: I really don't mind that Will never said the words 'I'm gay' to Jonathan during their emotional scene at the pizzeria. Stranger Things is set in the 80's and being queer was a terrifying realization for one to learn about themselves then so we can imagine how Will was feeling. Another thing- I don't even think Will knew he was gay until season four, yes he knew he was different and felt different about Mike then say he did Dustin, but I don't think the gay realization came for him until he moved to Lenora. But again, just my opinion and my interpretation of him as a character.

Scariness of being gay in the 80's aside, him not saying the words to Jonathan but Jonathan still knowing speaks to their bond as brothers. Will didn't have to say the words, because to speak them out loud would make it all the more true, make everything the bullies said about him growing up correct, and Jonathan didn't have to hear it or put Will through the pain of saying it to accept it.

Jonathan knew and Will knows now that he knows, and Jonathan embraced him with open arms. The amount of love between them in that scene was so emotional and raw and in my opinion, very well done.

#i just love the way the Duffer's write the sibling dynamics #it's very special to me #makes me wish we saw more of Mike's and Nancy's #will byers #jonathan byers #stranger things #stranger things 4

[anothershadeofpurple]

Yay for a happy ending but wow Mariana really didn’t deserve Ana what was that? Why do that? Ana pining all the time while Mariana barely had any scene telling us that yes, she was in love with Ana at last half as much as Ana was. After all of that Mariana didn’t even had to make any effort to get Ana?

I spent way too long wanting Ana to get over Marina and realize that she is truly bi (not that bs that she is not gay she just loves Mariana 🙄) and finding someone else who can love her the way she deserves. Really Ana and other women not Mariana was some of my favorite parts lol I really wished Ana had a one night stand, she would still be miserable because she was so in love but at least she could have some great sex, and not just pine while Marina had Ferran

I guess the writers in the end are just not that good, s2 was also pretty underwhelming and s3 was I guess better but not as good as s1. And yes I blame the writers I don’t think that Netflix made any changes there. Just one scene with Mariana and Ana talking about their feelings all that went through, Mariana really talking about how heartbroken she was when Ana pushed her away in s1, about that night together scared her so much she couldn’t think, anything about how much she loves Ana would help so much instead it ended making me feel that Ana was so much more in love that made me kinda sad for her.

Ohh btw sorry for the long rant, the show left me all over the place 😆

Oh my God, I hear you Anon, I'm all over the place too. I should be adulting for Christmas, but instead, I want to do meta deep dives on Tumblr. And I am.

Season two did get boring as well because of the dudes, much like this season, but I do feel it all comes down to trying to keep some imagined general audience happy while carving out space to even be able to tell a gay story, not a lack of capacity. (I like giving creators the benefit of the doubt, especially since we did actually get a textual slow-burn love story between two women. Writers may choose to do it themselves to avoid the network mingling in the first place. I don't know.)

Yes, Ana as truly bi or gay would have been less of a cop-out, I'd like to just think she needs more time to come to terms with her sexuality and this is just an in-between state. After all, it's in character for Ana to be methodical about her sexuality and try to control it. "I'm gonna go out, pick a woman, see if I'm into it and then I will know for sure where I fit in." She might as well have started the episode with a PowerPoint presentation in which she explained this plan to Elena. Ana wants control, she wants shortcuts, which doesn't work in cases like this. We had one of her phony bridge club friends say that "She knew she was a lesbian since high school" when Ana introduced Mariana as the other mother of her daughters. Ludwika just shows us there's so much going on with Ana behind her eyes, I feel like she has a very rich backstory for Ana that she is tapping into. Would love to hear her talk about that. And yes, the chemistry with that woman was actually... good? Even with Elena. She's got Momistry with Mariana, but with these other women... it was easy to imagine more interesting exchanges.

I think the setup for Mariana actually loving Ana instead of Ferran is there, but they did a terrible job with the pacing and gave us so much Ferran that it became difficult to believe. There's the conversation with Elena where the acting makes it very clear she doesn't actually love Ferran, but is playing it safe with him... but even so, it was her turn to talk about her feelings to Ana. And it could have been a few sentences, a short scene, it really didn't need much.

I feel if this last episode would have had another passionate kiss, a few words from Mariana and some tears I would be ridiculously happy right now instead of rationalizing that I should be happy and grateful for getting that next step. It's still progress, hopefully it opens doors for the next slowburn. Eventually someone's gonna get it right.

I better finish my lesbian Hallmark script...

#madre solo hay dos s3 spoilers #madre solo hay 2 #madre solo hay dos #mshd #mshd spoilers #daughter from another mother #dfam #spoilers

[supercap2319]

so harlan asks y/n (a very powerful witch) on a date where like a scene where cyrus and harlan meet and y/n said yes so when he like goes to the party y/n sees harlan that he wasn't there so he find him in a bus saw cyrus and harlan kissing and y/n saw it and breaks his heart and harlan and cyrus saw it and y/n runs and harlan follows him AND harlan says "its not it looks like"? idk but y/n says this " i thought WE'RE on a DATE U SAID MEET AT 8 BUT I SEE U WERE KISS W THAT GUY!" and just loss control of his magic

Hooking up at the police station wasn't how Harlan imagined his asking for a date with Y/N L/N. But after he saw that cute guy, Cyrus talking on the phone and they had a moment, was when Harlan saw Y/N. He was talking to that blonde woman Ramsey. And when all the drama had settled, he got close to him. "So, Y/N? I was thinking that you and I should go on a date tomorrow at 8?"

Y/N blushed. It wasn't every day that he got asked out by an incredibly sexy guy, but he was surprised that Harlan had asked him out instead of Cyrus. He saw the way they looked at each other, but he pushed that thought aside as he looked at the werewolf. "I'd love to."

The next day, after deciding what to wear, Y/N met Harlan at the club called Wolfsbane. It was filled with gays, theys, and everything else in between as everyone seemed to be having fun. Drinks overflowing and people dancing without a care in the world. Y/N looked around, but couldn't find Harlan. He cast a spell to help him locate him. "Guiding spirits I ask your charity, Lend me your focus and clarity, Lead me to the one I cannot find, Restore that and my peace of mind."

He followed the golden orbs towards a firetruck in the center of the room as he wasn't prepared for what was going to happen next. He saw Harlan and Cyrus smoking in the firetruck as they were conversing back and forth. "Didn't you have a girlfriend last semester?" Cyrus shakes his head as he puts the cigarette down. "Yeah. So?"

"So how come you don't have a girlfriend now?"

"Who says I don't?"

Harlan blinks in surprise. "Do you?"

Cyrus shakes his head. "No." He looks at Harlan with a smirk. "How come you don't have a boyfriend?"

"Who says I don't?" They get closer and closer until their lips touch in a heated smokey kiss as Y/N watches them too heartbroken and too shocked to look away as he feels tears run down his face. They continue until Harlan hears Y/N's heartbeat as he and Cyrus turn to see him as he turns and walks away. "Wow, talk about your total creeper," Cyrus said.

"Shut up." Harlan gets out of the firetruck and chases after Y/N, successfully catching him, but in the middle of the dance floor as the young man looks at Harlan. "It's not why it looks like. He kissed me first."

"I saw what you did, Harlan!" Y/N protested. "I thought we were supposed to be on a date at 8, but I find you kissing another guy?"

"Please, if you would let me explain–"

"-I don't care! I'm leaving." Y/N turned to go as Harlan grabbed his arm and suddenly Y/N lost all control of his magic as he looked at Harlan. "Stop...!" The lights all around them broke and shattered as the ground beneath them shook so violently as Harlan let Y/N go in shock as the young man looked around as everyone else was so confused on what just happened. The sudden earthquake and lights went out.

Y/N used the confusion to weave his way through the crowd and out the door of the club as Harlan realized there was another supernatural creature in town. A witch.

[aprillikesthings]

s2 ep2 Ties that Bind

eheheheh

ahem

Took me way too long to realize this was a pun on "drill" as in an object Entrapta would use to make things (I think it's a carryover from the original 1980's series, I could be wrong)

plot

Oh god Entrapta lived in the Crypto Castle. This is long-ago enough that "crypto" didn't mean bitcoin.

Glimmer: we're going to go get Entrapta by ourselves.

whyyyy

Plot shit: Mara destroyed the Watchtower and that's why Light Hope is constantly glitching, and nobody stops to think Mara might've had a good reason, but also

I spent the mid/late 90's mildly obsessed with music from the 1960's, okay, and yes I know this is the cover of a Bob Dylan song, but it's also one of Jimi's best songs

I read somewhere that all the times this character's voice repeats or gets distorted weren't added effects, the voice actor Can Just Do That.

sorry just laughing at Catra being undignified and scratching her butt

ANGY KITTY

another one for the "never pause shera" sub

wait one more

more angy kitty (and more cartoon bondage, per the episode title)

yes this is a funny bit but also I love that they're showing farmland.

One of my continual gripes with the entire fantasy genre is how often they don't show anyone farming. Especially in pseudo-medieval fantasy worlds, the vast majority of the population would be spending their lives as farmers, but also PEOPLE HAVE TO EAT. Where is the farmland. Where. Where is it.

(I loved the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movies but it always bugged me that the ONLY farmland we EVER saw was in the fucking Shire. What is everyone else EATING.)

EDIT: later in the episode it's implied this is just dead grass they bring back to life??? to me it looks like a field of mature grain! Meh.

no she's just gay

I'm not going to take screenshots (bc they're on screen for like a split second each) but the images of multiple characters as horses that Swift Wind is imagining are SO GOD DAMNED FUNNY

ew, Catra!

Meanwhile Bow and Glimmer debate the ethics of keeping a hostage. As multiple posts back in the day point out, literally every main character in this show commits war crimes lol

why are you sniffing your foot

H E L P i cannot stop laughing she's just :}

this whole scene is such a huge part of why so many of us headcanon her as a huge brat lolol

THEY DID A MEME AGAIN AHAHAHAH

this is what happens when a tv show is made entirely by people in their 20's

fangie

do we headcanon her tongue as being as rough as an actual cat's or closer to a human's? I tend to assume somewhere in the middle.

For Reasons.

pfft

AAAHAHAHAH she's like :>

I love how Catra is totally just yanking their chains but the moment Glimmer mentions Adora, Catra goes back to Angy Kitty: "yeah??? she'll leave you, too!" like oh, is Adora a sensitive subect? hm?

Poor Scorpia's infatuation with Catra is hard to watch bc I know it's so one-sided :(

One of my friends ships these two a LOT and let's be honest, I can see it

(Also as many people including Nate have pointed out, they're actually really similar as people; their differences are almost entirely due to their upbringings.)

now kISS

unintentional pun alert

plot plot Adora is convinced she has to be "a better She-Ra than Mara so I don't hurt people like she did."

Awww there's a great little moment between Adora and Swift Wind. Adora apologizes for making Swift Wind, uh, sentient I guess; and Swift Wind says "Adora, I wouldn't trade my voice and my wings for anything. I've got the chance to change the world now. To make it better than when I found it. I can't imagine ever going back, can you?"

they fix the Watchtower, Glimmer and Bow make it back to Bright Moon with the knowledge Entrapta is alive and working for the Horde, episode is over

#april rewatches spop #ties that bind #Youtube

[missmeganlee]

On People Hating on Wille

What happened to loving the fact that all of characters are so nuanced? What happened to loving that nothing in this wonderful show is black and white? Everything exists in a grey area. It's why we can sympathize with every character, yes even August. And idk this "trend" (yes I'm gonna call it a trend cause, honestly it seems like people are getting antsy with little to no content so they're just saying anything right now) seems to ignore that fact about the show.

Did Wille make mistakes? Yes, but so does every other character in the show. Making mistakes and having flaws is what makes the characters human and makes the show so grounded. Imagine how boring it would be to have a main character who we always knew would make the "right decision" (and this is coming from a girl who's favorite Marvel character is Captain America).

Remember Wille is only a 16 year old boy with the weight of the world on his shoulders. You should be making mistakes at 16, that's how you learn and grow as a person. And I can't imagine the enormous pressure that he must be feeling knowing that he is expected have "no more mistakes" to quote Kristina. And all of this sudden hate on Wille is just pushing that narrative (it's honestly kinda meta). If I was in Wille's position, I'm not sure if I (at 16) would've handled it much better than him.

I feel like the fandom as a whole tends to baby Simon just a bit because he's had to take on this "man of the house" role, and honestly Linda could do more as a parent (in my opinion), and because he had to grow up so fast. But he's not as innocent and helpless as we make him out to be. Simon's never had any problems with standing up for himself, and the show established that in his character right from the beginning. And Simon's never had a problem calling Wille out on his privilege/one-sided thinking either, which was also established right from the beginning. That's part of why Wille was attracted to Simon and vice versa, cause Wille was able to take it, and agree with the points Simon made. This would be an entirely different argument had Simon not done any of these things. But he did, and people seem to be forgetting that for whatever reason (confirmation bias)

Could Wille have not come off as so accusatory in the piano room scene? Yes. Could Simon have better communicated with Wille instead of shutting down and walking away? Also yes. Was Simon in the wrong to steal and deal drugs? Yes. Was Wille also in the wrong for taking said drugs and then talking down to Simon about them? Yes. Neither is a completely innocent person, again that's what makes them human

The only thing Wille was completely in the wrong for was how he handled the denial. And I don't expect Simon to forgive Wille for that easily. It's going to take a lot to rebuild that trust that was lost between the two of them. But I also don't think Wille thinks Simon will take him back so easily. Again, Simon's proven to us and to Wille that he can stand up for himself and establish boundaries for himself.

Lastly, gonna touch on the 2 times Wille broke things off with Simon. We can infer and theorize all we want about if Wille knew he wasn't straight, but factually, looking at just what the show gives us, this is Wille's first time being attracted to a boy. And who wouldn't be art least a little scared having that realization. It challenges his entire world view. And it's probably been drilled into him his entire life that he would grow up to marry a nice well-to-do woman and raise their kids together, who could be possible heirs to the monarchy. I mean we all referred to Wille's non-reaction to the first and second time that Simon kissed him as "gay panic" for a reason. The second time Wille breaks things off with Simon, his brother has just passed. Now Wille and his future children aren't just the spare heirs anymore. They're it. They're the future monarchy. Full stop. Period. All of the pressure Wille's faced as the spare has increased tenfold now that everything rests on his shoulders. And that is centuries of heteronormative tradition constantly in the back of Wille's mind. (I also think that Wille breaking up with Simon here was his way of protecting Simon, but that's a post for a different day) Again, I say "gay panic." Do I think Wille could've articulated his thinking and reasoning to Simon in both instances better? Abso-fucking-lutely. Simon does deserve more of an explanation than "I'm not like that" and "I can't do this anymore, delete my number and all of our texts." But I don't think Wille was in the wrong for breaking things off both times. And I definitely don't think Simon was in the wrong for breaking up with Wille at the end of season 1.

#sorry not sorry for the rant #it had to be said #young royals #prince wilhelm #wilhelm #simon eriksson #simon #young royals analysis

[darklordgorblax]

Why does Mass Effect hate Gay Men?

So, I know I'm pretty late to the party, and plenty of people have said it better, but I've finally been getting around to playing the Mass Effect games, and I can't sleep until I get this out there. Also, apologies that I'm all over the place. It all just adds up, you know?

Disclaimer: There is a lot to really like about Mass Effect. This isn't a review, just an attempt to voice a frustration.

Where to start? I first played Mass Effect in ~2010. I was in college, and still very repressed pretending that homosexuality is totally a choice. Like most people, I imagine, I really appreciated the way that I could tailor Shepherd to my vision. He wasn't a blank slate self-insert, but had just enough flexibility that it was really easy to slip into that skin and imagine I was a badass commander out saving the galaxy.

Then the end happened and Ashley raped me. Obviously with Shepherd it was consensual, but for me identifying and connecting with Shepherd it felt deeply violating. I was leaning heavily into Paragon, and genuinely thought I was just being a good nice person. I had hardly ever spoken with Ashley, and I didn't think I had said anything particularly suggestive that was the direction I wanted to go. As a result I swore off everything Mass Effect for over a decade.

I've grown a lot since then. It's finally time to give it a fair shake. I still don't want any unpleasant surprises, so I did a bunch of research to figure out what I want to do about romance. Of course I ran into the same problem that every gay man playing Mass Effect runs into. Where are the m/m romance options? It's fine though. I decide I'm going to save myself for Gay Kaiden, and honestly it's very poignant. It's frustrating that it took 3 entire games to pay off, but even that worked into the character arc nicely.

So I played through the trilogy, hated the ending, but overall really appreciated the moments I got with Kaiden. It was pretty emotional for me too, just because it made me realize how much I needed that kind of representation. It was a catharsis to the trauma of being pushed into sleeping with Ashley a decade ago.

Moving on to Andromeda, there's still not nearly enough gay representation, but it's ok. I'm down with Gil. Then there was the scene that set off this spiral. Gil casually mentions that his only friend Jill gives him crap for being a gay genetic dead end. I tell him that's not cool, and he brushes it off. This is deeply uncomfortable, but maybe they salvage it. I have to know more.

End preamble, begin rant: Why does Mass Effect hate Gay Men?

What the ever living fuck. Gil's *entire* character ark is his "best friend" pressuring him into being her baby daddy. The first thing I had to know is who wrote this and are they gay. If they're gay themself, then maybe they're just speaking to personal experience that I happen to find distasteful and unrelatable. I couldn't find out much about the guy, but I suspect not.

So first - To straight writers writing gay characters: Just write them straight. Kaiden was written in such a way that it works either way, and it *works*. Yes, I want gay characters that deal with uniquely gay issues, but I don't trust you. To explore something as deeply personal and fraught as a gay man choosing whether or not to have children and how is not a plotline you just slap together. Just write them straight and then flip the pronouns and descriptors when appropriate.

But now I'm just gah! We've already established they're extremely lacking in the m/m romance options, but let's take a look. Gil and Cortez, the two exclusively gay men. Why are there no gay men party members? For fuck's sake! Every single exclusively gay (and lesbian?) romance option is confined to the ship. Just... I think you already know how fucked up that is, so I'm going to stop.

To move on to character arcs. I've seen people defend this, but frankly shove off. It's like these narratives' primary purpose is to make sure that everyone knows they're gay. It's show don't tell gone horribly, horribly wrong. You want to know how you show that a gay man is gay? Show them flirting with men. You don't need to consume the entire character arc showing how Cortez has a dead husband and Gil might not have children. I can cut Cortez some slack since dead spouse isn't a specifically gay arc, but even the way it's presented just puts way too much emphasis on the "husband" part.

But speaking of specifically gay character arcs... Maybe whether or not to have children isn't specifically to highlight that Gil is gay... Oh wait it totally is. This game is *loaded* with interspecies romances that will never have children. Why is the only relationship where this "problem" is highlighted the one for which it might be deeply traumatic?

I can't talk about interspecies romance without talking about the Asari. Perhaps it's the first problem, but for me it will have to be the last. I know it's been beaten to death, and scrutinized from every angle, but it's just so bad. In many ways the Asari are at the heart of the "Why does Mass Effect hate gay men" problem. A mono-gendered, naturally bisexual species that exists to fetishize lesbians for the benefit of a straight male audience. (Anyone who says they aren't technically female deserves to be punched in the face)

So with that I'll conclude: Bioware owes gay men big time for this travesty. Make a mono-gendered, naturally bisexual species that's coded as male. I dare you.

#mass effect #mshep #gay kaiden #kaiden alenko #gil brodie #representation matters #lgbtq #mass effect hates gay men

[javic-piotr-thane]

> well I read it more as Ianto flirting to gain Jack's trust (and panicking the moment he realized he was really attracted to him, presumably feeling like he was betraying Lisa)

thats true, i could see that! i think one of the nice things of it not being spelled out means theres a good opportunity for interpretation. in the same way before broken came out it was up in the air ab when they started sleeping together. and i both love and hate broken for giving that kind of definitive line hah.

actually something i have been thinking about is ianto’s portrayal in fandom (not everywhere, but somewhat popularly) & wondering if thats come from somewhere (like the cast talking about their characters etc) or if its just a bit of a fandom & gay couple sort of vibes (especially from 2006!)

by that i mean theres a lot of ianto as more… sensitive, i suppose is a good word for it, when in the show you actually have him acting quite violently and defensively in certain situations (the stun gun scene in meat…)

and i think coming in to fandom later (i watched it in 2007 & was on the outskirts of fandom in the very early tumblr days, but only recently launched in fully) and having the torchwood one audios context, it makes ianto into a much more well rounded competent torchwood agent (who definitely shouldve been in charge when jack was gone! not newest agent gwen! *ahem*). and i wonder if that influenced me to how i see ianto’s characterisation in the show & in fandom (i.e. protective to the point of violence to those he loves).

this got long! i have a torchwood special interest its very difficult for me to be concise haha

you're totally fine XD

I think Ianto... doesn't really want to be in charge, tbh? also Gwen wasn't immediately in charge - Tosh was picked first because she had been working for Torchwood (Three) the longest, and when she didn't want it, Gwen and Owen wound up sharing. yes this is from a novel but I can imagine it going that way honestly.

but I guess that already connects to your point :'D how later additions to canon (audios, novels, etc.) influence how you see things (characters, relationships, plots) on the show, and whether that's for the better or the worse, especially considering one's own preferred headcanons.

for me personally it's like, my understanding of a character evolves with time spent in a fandom anyway? so whether late additions to canon have an influence on top of that or not is not really that important to me. and if i don't like certain definitive points (I'm not sure if you actually dislike the start of their relationship as shown in Broken or not, but let's take that as an example) - I just ignore them XD explicitly stating them as not having happened in my reality when it's relevant for a fic I write or smth, but otherwise it doesn't bother me deeply.

#is this kind of what you were going for / asking about? sorry if it's not 🙈 #ianto jones #janto #torchwood

[khaleesiofalicante]

Okay I'm ignoring the quali at this point, not exactly happy with it because I wanted Lewis at least at top 3 and the car doesn't look great this weekend 😔 Also, what the hell is Stroll doing up there? Rain really is a factor that makes everything interesting in F1, overall I have a feeling it will be a very interesting race😎 Not Perez almost snatching sprint poll, I really want Lewis to be second so I'm kinda not rooting for Perez to stick. Also, the guy once said that women shouldn't race and belong in the kitchen so all my sympathy for his situation went up in smoke.

So, before the sprint race and the GP on Sunday, I present to you, a lot of Mavid thoughts

I'm dying to know how David felt when he asked Max to take his name again in IALS. I mean, I keep trying to picture his while internal dialogue about all the reasons he wants to have Max's name again but worrying that Nax may not want that anymore, and maybe a flashback of him signing as a LB after the divorce only to realize that he no longer is a LB, wow that hurts but it would also be such an interesting thing to see what he thought about the whole thing(since we already kinda caught a glimpse of how Max feels about the whole name thing)

Okay I don't know if you have seen La La Land but if you have (if you haven't you definately should), just imagine RWRB Mavid with "What a waste of a lively night" it would fit them so much! Beacuse I feel like in that scene Sebastian and Mia just start falling for each other but they're in denial about it and I feel like both of them will be in denial (maybe not David but he'll act like he is because if Albert?)

Also, RWRB Mavid with "City of Stars" from La La Land (but make it city if lights for Paris)

Just in case I wasn't obvious about it RWRB Mavid as La La Land would rule! (Yes I'm aware that we don't know anything about RWRB Mavid yet, my mind is a weird place)

I was watching this movie, "The Vow" for like the millionth time (a movie where a couple that is very much in love breaks up when the wife gets memory loss and doesn't love her husband anymore) and I kept trying to picture Mavid with it but I couldn't. Because I feel like there's no way those two wouldn't immediately fall for each other and I love that🥰

I was listening to Love Story by Indila last night and then I remembered it was the opening soundtrack for David's show in IALS, but it feels like it's also how David felt about Max the whole time they were divorced, it's a nice thought, the show is the past and the song is their present. Max really sat on a couch thinking David hates him while the TV was singing to him about how much David loves him, honestly these two. (Now I need to go back to every scene that there was in the show and think about it with the according soundtrack 😅)

Back in LBAF, Max should drop the whole time travelling business and figure out a way to make a portal that Lance can use by himself

Um also excuse me you can't just say the Rafe thing scene and not give us Rafe's reaction to David asking Theia to tutor Lance instead of Cami (I have so many thoughts about that but they are all over the place- much like Max and Rafael are)

Hear me out: You kept the David thoughts to yourself in FMF, and he turned to be Lucifer's son-who also kidnapped Alec. In IALS, you also weren't saying a lot of things about David's true thoughts and feelings about whatever was happening and it turns out he was just using Jaden to get Max back. I'm just saying, whenever you don't share David's thoughts, you're cooking something big. I'm scared.

Max cutting his hair in LBAF and Davida cutting his hair, whyy🥺

Also Max saying he is bad at communicating while fetus Mavid in LBAF were the most communicative babes there were hurts a lot

Are E and D major the keys that represent Lance and Theia? Is that why Lance kept playing them together?

Please leave the gays alone, they've been through enough 🫠(I mean everyone has at this point buy still)

Quali (both sprint and race) were big ew. But interlagos track is good for overtaking so let's hope lewis can make some moves! he really needs to do well here if he wants to get that p2!!! and bro, all these f1 drivers are problematic and said some weird shit (lewis included but i am wearing my sunglasses so i can't see).

Gonna think of mavid until sprint (hope i won't fall asleep tonight lmao) so thank you for the mavid thoughts!!!

A very good prompt!(?). There are many IALS scenes I wish I could write, both in the middle, and from the future. If inspiration strikes me, we'll definitely go back to it!

OMG??? listening to it rn.

CITY OF STARS IS PART OF THE RWRB AU PLAYLIST OMG? Great minds think alike.

omg this au though. I AM OBSESSED ALREADY. I've been recently thinking about journalist david (he writes movie reviews and art stuff) and idk max is doing but he's just there skjnjsk.

I love the vow omg. I think David would love it too!!!

INDILA SONGS ARE MADE FOR MAVID.

There is a very cool scene where Max uses warlock math just for Lance. It was originally supposed to be part of the Max story, but I put it into lbaf 6, because of *Spoilers*

i basically envisioned the convo between rafael and anjali tbh. i can see rafael being mad at achilles for agreeing to send theia and then anjali (my queen) being like "are you mad Achilles agreed or are you mad David didn't ask you?".

You are right. everything i do has a reason, babygirl. You will find out why we don't get david pov when we reach the "interlude" chapter of part 6. remember it :)

cutting hair is something that can be so personal in daniverse :)

adults are useless smh

I WAS WONDERING IF SOMEONE WILL FIGURE THIS OUT. It's not blackbane. If you want to figure it out, use this online keyboard and press the keys. On your right hand side, it's the E (white key) and the black key that says D#. Play it over and over like Lance did and see if you can figure it out :)

shan't :)

#love youuuuuuuuu #lbaf #mavid

[naruthandir]

Funny to me how for most people it's a LOTR->Linguistics pipeline but for me it was a linguistics->LOTR pipeline. I never really had an interest in reading Lord of the Rings because the whole thing used to struck me as very boring and I didn't really care but from ages 12-14 I was really getting into fantasy worldbuilding and conlanging "formally" (I did do that kind of stuff before that, but I didn't know it had a name or that there were comunities formed around it) and I said "Look if I am going to be a nerd about this I am going to be a full nerd about this I can't go around life calling myself a Fantasy Nerd™ when all I know about LOTR is that there is a fucked up goblin guy and Legolas has a bow" so I decided to bought the Fellowship of the Ring book in the bookstore because I am autistic and I have a hard time engaging with material I am unfamiliar with so I just picked the safest option and then I read it in a weekend. I came home, I sat down to read, and from the very start I was invested. Because Tolkien had THE BALLS to open his book with an extensive infodump about Hobbit culture and I was so into that. And the chapters in the Shire, they were a genuine delight for me. I thought the book would be boring but it was fun! It was funny! And hobbit culture felt so alive...

And when the final chapter of the Fellowship came I almost cried. Rightly, it was at that moment I realized that this was going to be a life-changing experience whether I like it or not.

Since I didn't have the rest of the books back then (and I wasn't really able to get them for reasons I don't remember) I did the most autistic thing: Right after finishing it, I decided to read it again, because I was that obsessed. I made so much silly cringy art of the characters as I imagined them and it was all I could think about in school. When I finally got my hands to The Two Towers and The Return of the King I decided to refresh my memory by reading Fellowship AGAIN and because it was summer I had the luxury to just sit down and read all day long and it was great.

I went into the books as blind as you could possibly go: I knew there were conlangs and lore, I knew there were elves, I knew the protagonist was named Frodo and the plot was about destroying a ring (there is also a being that calls the ring precious because its like a drug? Idk). But not much else. I didn't know Boromir was going to die. I didn't know about Galadriel or Elrond or Aragorn or Sam. Yes, I didn't know that Sam was a character. I was genuinely surprised at each turn the plot was taking. I was surprised about how GAY it all was (why didn't they tell me about this??) and I was absolutely shaken and emotionally destroyed with the ending. The Return of the King was an awakening of sorts for me, because I was expecting a whimsical fantasy story and instead I got to see The Horrors and I just couldn't believe the comic relief characters were dealing with suicidal ideation, out of all things.

And the last bit of Frodo's journey... Well, the scene in the tower of Cirith Ungol was genuinely rough (when Sam found Frodo, he was naked. And I just closed the book and stared into the ceiling for a while. I just had to take a break real fast) and the struggle with the ring as they got closer to Mordor and I was constantly almost-crying-but-not-quite and I knew, even though I went into the story un-spoiled, I knew Frodo wouldn't give up the ring. And then having him deal with the aftermath of it, and I was so distressed the whole time because finally, someone out there gets it. He sailed off to the west and I cried. I actually cried, right after finishing the book, yes, but for a few nights after as well. It was, well, a lot to process for 14 year old me. It had me looking up the diagnostic criteria of PTSD on Google at three in the morning because this can't be right. It wasn't that bad, surely I'm just being dramatic.

And it is very funny, that I was getting into the books expecting extensive sections of infodumping and lore and LINGUISTICS and I did get that, don't get me wrong, but I also got an emotionally resonant story that complelty re-contextuslized my lived experiences, helped me process stuff I had been shoving down the back of my mind because I didn't have the words to even describe it to myself, and lowkey turned me into a transgender anarchist. I was a changed man (just now fully aware that I was a man in the first place). It blew me away completely.

And it also reinforced my interest in linguistics! I often joke about this, but as a kid, I used to read the dictionary instead of paying attention in class. I liked words. Like, a lot. I liked the way words interacted with each other. I was like 9, perhaps, when I first attempted to create a made-up language, for a race of fictional mermaid race. I was really into My Little Pony at the time and I stole a lot of the story from there (don't forget I was nine) and my attempt at conlanging utterly failed, but still. LOTR felt pretty much tailored to me, when I finally gave it a shot. My favorite appendix was, of course, the one dealing with translation. If I was mildly interested in linguistics before this sent me down a rabbithole. I did my whole final school project for graduating on minority languages of Europe (though, due to the pandemic, I never finished it, which is a shame). I picked the literature course in high-school over the fine arts course because they had a morphology and etymology class. I named myself Beren, for fuck's sake, and I've been going by this name in real life for two and a half years by now. That's how important it was.

I really can't overstate how much this silly little book with silly little fairy people influenced my life. It's. Well, it's cringy, it's awfully, awfully cringy, embarrassing, mortifying. Isn't it funny, that we are shamed and made fun of for loving things so unapologetically? For genuinely connecting with art? Even though that's like, the whole point?

I just want to say. This is important to me. This means a lot to me. I keep talking about it but I can't help myself because it's hilarious. I went into this book out of a sense of responsibility and it completely changed my life.

This post wasn't meant to be this long. Uh. Sorry. I just wanted to make a silly joke about "Tolkien fan goes on to study formal linguistics, but it's not for the reason you think" but it turned into this whole personal rant. This is like a tendency of mine, no I don't know how to stop it. I'm sorry if this is in your dash lmao

#personal #naru speaks #lotr #JIRT WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME. WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YOU OLD BRITISH MAN OUT OF ALL PEOPLE #but also not lotr #meta #ish..? #rolling around in the ground #not to subscribe to the mortifying of being sincere online #And expose myself #But also who cares

[juiceboxerr]

earlier i was thinking about all the different things that have brought me to realizing i'm aroace, and one moment that was the most obvious, in hindsight, was my senior year of hs. that was the only time i had a "crush" without someone else pointing out that i "liked" someone, but in reality i've never liked anyone in my life haha. the boy i picked in my senior year was one of my classmates, we became friends throughout the year and i never really put much thought into liking him besides the fact that he was nice and a really good friend, but also thoughts like "this is what people my age are supposed to feel, right?" would often cross my mind. i imagine what it would be like if we dated but it was never something that just crossed my mind, i had to make an effort to actively think about such scenarios. once i graduated and didn't see him anymore the feelings vanished almost immediately, and i didn't think twice about it, i simply thought that was what everyone else experienced because i never talked to anyone about it.

my first year in college is when i discovered aromantism, before then i only know that asexuality was a thing. at the time i was living in my dorm alone and spent weeks researching and having a lot of issues with coming to terms with myself and being aromantic. before then i had tried so many labels, i've identified as bi, gay, pan, and lesbian, but none of them ever stuck for too long. so when i found aromantic it was like someone hit me with a bus. it took me a few weeks more before i could even muster up the courage tell any of my friends, which in the end proved pointless because they still accept me no matter what. i still struggled for a while because all those "what if" scenarios and feeling like i'm missing out on a huge part of life by not being able to feel what everyone else feels, which isn't the case. i can live my life just as fully as anyone else, i don't need romance or sex to be content with myself and my life. i never realized until then that i always fantasized of living on my own for my whole life anyway. i wouldn't say i'm romance replused, as i still enjoy such things in media, but more of feeling vaguely uncomfortable with thinking about romance in reality in terms of myself.

being asexual was something that crossed my mind a few years ago, and identified with graysexual specifically for a while until i thought "nah, there's no evidence that i'm ace in the first place"; however, there was no evidence that i wasn't either. it took my longer to come to terms with being asexual the second time around because by then i had already realized i was aromantic, and i thought that i could at least be "normal" in the sexual area if i was aro. i came to realize that doesn't matter and being normal isn't really a thing anyway. sexual feelings and urges have always been something i never experienced for myself and i shied away from such topics, whether about me or anyone. i was always uncomfortable with sex scene on tv and and talking about such things in a non-joking manner, but i was okay with reading it so i thought that meant i couldn't be asexual (which was before i really researched). but now nothing of the sort really bothers me as long as it isn't directed at me in any form. as of now i think of myself in terms of a sex positive but personally sex repulsed asexual.

identifying as aroace might seem simple at face value because it's asexual aromantic, right? well yes, but for me it's more complicated than that. i am aroace but i resonate more with my aromantism, in a way that's complicated to explain. being asexual is a no-brainer for me, it's just an intrinsic part of who i am and it's not something i have to think about, there's never been another option. sex is also a topic that can be easily avoided, more so if you aren't in a romantic relationship, but dating and being in a romantic relationship are topics that are harder to get out of. so while my ace identity feels like it is just me, and it would be baffling to me for someone to ever think i'm allosexual, my aro identity is me in a different sense, in a way i haven't figured out how to say yet.

geez, i kinda went off on a rant there. this might not be helpful to anyone but on the off chance it is i like sharing my story. being aro, ace, or aroace isn't a linear thing, it can stay the same or change over time. you can identify with it now but maybe later you won't. no one can tell you what you can and cannot feel or identify with, you're the only person who can decide that for yourself.

#asexual #aromantic #aroace #aromantic asexual #aro #ace #lgbtqia #cal's ramblings

[gonewiddershins]

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 2 of 7)

13. your favorite romance novel

You should know by now that I don't actually have favorites. I have a list of things I like and how much I like them varies with time, emotions, circumstances, and also maybe the phases of the moon. But The Duke in Disguise by Cat Sabastian was the first book I thought of when I saw this question, so it's the answer by default.

A Duke in Disguise is a standalone (technically it's part of a series, but books in romance novels series are often functionally standalones with cameos) romance story about two childhood friends- a prickly left-leaning publisher trying to keep her business afloat and an illustrator (engraver, to be precise) who turns out to be the long-lost heir to a dukedom. It's filled with class rage and ideas about what independence means and wonderful friend and family characters. The heroine is bi and filled with rage goes to her ex-girlfriend when she wants to yell about stuff. It's great.

QUOTE:

How one was meant to feed all these people on a couple of mutton chops Verity did not know. Supper was supposed to serve four: herself, Nate, Ash, and Charlie. But Nate had come home with three friends he met at the pub, which would have been bad enough even if he hadn’t evidently also invited Amelia Allenby, the half-grown daughter of Verity’s friend. At half past seven, a carriage pulled up in front of the house and disgorged a girl in pearl earbobs and a white muslin frock, dressed as if she were going to dine with the great and good of the land, rather than pick at too few mutton chops and be an eyewitness to sedition. Amelia was seventeen and looked upon Nate with a degree of hero worship that nobody who brought three hungry radicals home to dinner deserved.

15. a book rec you really enjoyed

I just really love mythology retellings in concept, but I don't often find ones which really scratch the sweet spot I'm looking for. Avalon High by Meg Cabot is still my favorite Arthurian retelling (sue me), but I was pleasantly surprised by The Squire's Tale by Gerald Morris. I found it off a rec list of Arthurian stories, most of which I tried and never finished. But I liked how straightforward and simple and entertaining this one was, so I read the whole series.

It's still very much a children's book (YA at most) with some level of black and white morality and a few jokes that fall flat. But it makes a genuine effort to be sympathetic, entertaining, and thoughtful. Some of the scenes are wonderful, and made up for the bits of dissonance I felt on reading others.

QUOTE: (For context, Trevisant forgets the past, but can see the future)

Terence wept when he left the hermit. Gawain waited, patient and unembarrassed, while Terence embraced the old man and kissed him tearfully. Trevisant whispered in Terence's ear, "This is the nice thing about seeing time my way: no regrets."

16. a book you’d recommend to your younger self

Any queer book, tbh. Younger me grew up in a conservative country, had limited internet access, and was never good at making friends in the first place. To younger me's credit, her reaction to homosexuality existing was "sounds fair enough", but I imagine she might have been given a glimpse into how varied and different the world was if she'd encountered queer books a little sooner. Also, it might have helped her realize her GIANT FLAMING CRUSH on Carmen Sandiego, which she developed at say- Age 8.

I think the one I'd pick is The Magpie Lord by KJ Charles, though. It has not just gay romance, but a Victorian England setting, a nobleman who wants very badly to return to China where people are sane, magic, and very graphic horror. Also it's just really fucking funny and I like that in a book. Sounds perfect.

QUOTE:

“Is there a reason you’re making this a private compartment?” Stephen enquired warily.

“Yes,” said Crane. “Is there a reason your sleeve is soaked in blood?”

“What? Where? Oh bother.” Stephen contorted himself to look at his left elbow. “Blast.”

“It looks to the untutored eye as though you have been leaning in a puddle of blood,” said Crane. “Quite a large puddle.”

“Yes. I dare say it does.”

“Because…?”

“I can’t talk about my business. I’m sure you understand.”

Part 2 of 7

#kj charles #magpie lord #cat sebastian #gerald morris #squire's tales #jill see the thing #ask meme #book rec ask meme

[adrheenaline]

Baka Bukas (SPOILER ALERT)

So let's delve in to Samantha Lee's beloved masterpiece of a movie "Baka Bukas", a tagalog phrase whose direct english translation would be "Maybe tomorrow"; but as a queer Filipina, it is a tagalog phrase that says so much by itself even by just having 2 words. For me it always meant "Baka bukas, pwede na." which may be translated to: "Maybe tomorrow, things are possible." or a better fit for its context would be: "Maybe tomorrow, we can try again."

So the story follows Alex, a lesbian who is closeted out of fear of losing her actress bestfriend, Jess. The movie starts with the line: "We were never really just friends." then proceeds to show scenes of them together to shed light on what their "friendship" looks like, and moving on to hear how their usual conversations go, like how they update each other about work, but one exchange really stuck with me:

Alex: I am the number one fan of who you are at 3AM. Jess: 3AM lang? (Just who I am at 3AM?)

You don't say that to your "just friends". We women have a different degree of friendship compared to others; we love uplifting our best friends and we love making time for them, and we love doing things for them, but saying that you are the number one fan of themselves at 3AM is a different type of love. I believe Alex meant she loves Jess when she's "bare" and just herself. I loved how they chose the cast members because they perfectly fit the characters. I could not imagine any other actresses play Jess, and Alex; their facial expressions and tone are subtle but if you have watched the movie more than once, it would give you a different perspective than just being a straightforward movie wherein our main character did not end up with "the" girl. Again. Lesbian films, am I right? heavy sighs

Anyway, there is another scene, a non-climactic one, that I just wanted to emphasize its importance on representation of queer women who came out late (i.e Me), wherein Alex interviews Jess because of the latter's upcoming show. Alex asked "Paano ka mainlove? (What does love do to you?" to which Jess responded:

"Minsan naiisip ko na hindi pa talaga ko na-inlove." (Sometimes I think that I haven't really fallen inlove) despite of being in numerous relationships with men.

We have been built up on heteronormative gender roles that some of us would not realize that being inlove towards the same gender and being in a relationship with them is actually an option. I can personally attest to this, being that I only knew of love when I met my girlfriend. Growing up, I would always want and crave the attention from my male friends/classmates, but now realizing that something was always missing, or …off. And sexually, there was always this feeling of dissatisfaction. I had always brushed it off as a hormonal thing, but now being with my girlfriend, I realized it's because I'm not truly attracted to men…

Which then brings us to the next part of the movie wherein Jess accidentally finds out about Alex's sexual identity, and Alex having explained it through food analogy which could not be more simple:

Alex: Just because everyone here orders bagnet, doesn't mean I have to order it too. I want my tapa, that's just what I want.

to which Jess evidently expresses her dismay towards Alex because she had not told her that she's gay but choosing to tell her distant mother instead:

Jess: Ayoko na. Ayoko na ng bagnet na yan. Nawalan na ko ng gana. (I don't want to eat bagnet anymore, I lost my appetite.) Alex: Gusto mo ng tapa? (Do you want tapa?)

This. This exchange just right after Alex's analogy of bagnet and tapa. See, I love these little scenes because most would brush them off or see them as unimportant but really, these little scenes adds flavor to the movie. Shortly afterwards their friendship progresses to a level higher than just being friends, mainly because Jess proceeded to make a move on Alex by holding hands with her, and kissing her. (YES. Kissing.) This confuses the viewer because they thought Jess is straight, and some would be angered or irritated at least by this, thinking Jess only showed interest after knowing of Alex's identity with the intention of playing around at an unknown and undiscovered field. Which I believe and will stand my ground on it is not the case; I believe Jess had also been inlove with her bestfriend for so long she just did not acknowledge that it was in a romantic way, because again as I said, we were never really taught that it is an option to be inlove with the same gender.

The movie went at a slow but steady pace showing how their relationship developed, and how conflicts followed. Jess is just beginning to reach the peak of her acting career then her talent manager warned that being gay would harm it; while Alex just got out of the closet but now is being nudged back in because of what it might do to Jess' career. Both felt they had to choose and compromise something important, ultimately leading to their break up, with Alex saying that they should just be friends. Just friends. Saying that they will always want something more, and that they can't have everything.

Alex: You want me but you want your career. I want you but I want to tell everyone about you. What we want doesn't exist. Hindi pa ngayon (Not yet.)

Bringing us back to the hopeful phrase "Baka Bukas". Maybe tomorrow. Baka bukas pwede na.

After a year, it was implied that Alex had not been in contact with Jess but was invited by their common friend to a birthday party, leaving Alex with no choice but to interact with her. Jess approached her asking what are her plans for tonight. Ending the movie with Alex answering "Just this." leaving us wondering what happens next. I would love to believe that they had their 2nd chance, that they had the best conclusion "bukas" could bring.

Samantha Lee just showed us a glimpse of reality on being queer, and it was done beautifully and with fairness. She protected her characters well and you would know that the movie was really targeted to the community. Of course, with her being also a part of the community, some might think it must have been easy. No. It's hard to share a story that's entertaining and at the same time, feels real. And the movie's aesthetics, the script, they scratched an itch in my brain. I would forever love this movie.

#baka bukas #Samantha lee #lgbt #lgbt film #sapphic #wlw #lesbian #queer film #queer movie #tagalog movie #maybe tomorrow