#and then i just kind of ignore it now lol. thats how i tend to work lol

[infizero]

why is everyone so negative and mean all the time. what happened to the love in your hearts

#idk. its just frustrating to me how i feel like i constantly see people shitting on stuff #rather than talking about stuff they actually like. like thats just not how i function #if i watch something thats like kinda mid i'll almost always focus on the things i liked #like its not a toxic posivity thing i think people should be allowed to talk about things they dont like #but idk. i just dont think like that #like for example sonic prime. did i think it was good? no lol #but i dont waste my time trashing on it?? i commented on what i liked as i watched it #and then i just kind of ignore it now lol. thats how i tend to work lol #and im def not gonna shit on someone ELSE for. liking something??? #like unless its super problematic or something and even then i probably wont rlly care #ill just ignore or block those ppl. idk it just seems. needlessly mean #like what is the point of me going lol that thing some ppl like is stupid and bad #thats like just being an asshole for no reason 😭😭 idk idk its just something i see a lot #serena.txt #this isnt targeted to anyone btw just something ive been thinking about recently

[thedoover-if]

is this my first snippet haha? this got a little long LOL sorry but ill put it under the cut so your feeds arent clogged

little explaining of each here haha

first: you have a drink or more most days of the week. most times you hang around the club, the bartender has to cut you off personally and threaten their colleagues not to hand you any more drinks while they try to arrange a ride home for you

second: i think i responded to an anon's mail a couple days ago but youre kind of aloof, pessimistic and you tend to space out a lot (kind of not there mentally)

third: this MC doesnt spend many nights alone. very much a "no strings attached" kind of person now. they let loose, have their fun for the night and then move on and forget the next. they havent had that emotional bond with anyone since their ex-spouse. its going to be hard for the bartender and the patient to open up to this MC because they dont want to get caught up in that whole thing. by the time either of them take that step therell be heart involved but whether thats the same for the MC is the real question...

fourth: 'tell yourself something enough times, and you start to believe it'. the complete opposite of the second. this type of MC doesnt allow themselves much time to wallow. and they bounced back insanely quick after the divorce but can they keep the happy front up...?

fifth: shuts down every attempt of their friends and family tying to get them to open up. most people only know that the ex cheated and you divorced because of that. they refuse to re-hatch the past and instead of processing the divorce they just ignored it. its like it never happened. so when the ex-spouse shows up at their front step that will completely catch this MC off-guard but youll choose how to react

fyi the bartender's opinion on the ex being back in MCs life will completely differ between a 24/7 happy MC and an MC that refuses to talk about the divorce if that makes sense? they dont like the ex either way but like i mentioned theyre protective and they will be more or less hostile depending on how the MC coped

for the MCs who try to make the ex jealous with the bartender or the patient i want to let you know that by the end of the game you can have pretty much ruined your relationships/friendships with these people cause they wont stand for it

hope this makes sense!!!!!!

#snippet #let me know what you think?

[ethans-stars]

Wait tell me about your Ethan Lore this sounds rad

YAY OMG okay if the other person is up for my yapping do tag them. i like people looking at my yapping

okay btw ethan goes by they/them (rarely she/he) and morgana goes by she/they

for starters, ethans parents are fucking assholes. lol. theyre distant and emotionally and verbally abusive (they are a bit physically abusive too). they suck weewee. ok.

now morgana? she hates them. she fucking hates their guts and she doesnt fucking care. their logic is well, if you cant love me, your own child, then im not gonna love you back. theyre independent and rely on their interests. (they LOVE LOVE LOVE collecting molts and sheds of animals, knitting creepy dolls, crafting stuff that look scary, and making origami. she tends to dip into mostly stuff that freak others out, but for her? huge comfort.)

and even with that being said, morgana struggles making friends and has horrible validation issues. they also struggle managing their anger and can lash out when people pick on her or ignore her right infront of her face.

ethan, is a bit different.

theyre loud, obnoxious, trying to be the best and center of attention of everything. they try to get everyone eyes on them and HATE when people focus on someone else.

they would hang out with people they didnt even like, they would try and make themself someone they werent just to appeal to people, "fix" their personality when they saw an error.

they were hungry for any attention, any validation or praise centered to THEM.

now, ethan hung out with streber, leon, blaz, aria, liv, and confi when they were 15. and.. ethan started to get unhealthy obsessed with streber because of how close they were.

ethan would try to do small acts of kindness back, even if they didnt exactly grasp the concept. all they wanted was the spotlight on them, they didnt like when no one payed attention to them.

ethan gave streber a bat earring, necklaces, rings, makeup, nail polish, and a gothic jacket that ethan didnt like anymore.

anyway, after a while, and up until when streber and ethan got into college (18-19, but they started dating when they were 19), ethan confessed to streber with a small bouquet of flowers. now, note, streber suffered a traumatic event when he was 16-17. (wont go into detail, but they did get hurt from something and is very uncomfortable with their shoulders and back being touched, aswell as people sneaking up on him.)

streber had 2 therapists then (technically just one, but he considers his mom a therapist because.. well she does work as a therapist, but streber technically wasnt a client.) and honestly, he didnt feel the need to refuse ethans offer of being boyfriends. (also btw!! smth silly, i hc streber as demiromantic :3) streber was already recovering kinda steadily (since it had been about 2-3 years since) and didnt find ethan too bad. so, he took the offer.

ethan.. shouldnt have been in a relationship. they were horrible at respecting boundaries and trying to focus attention on strebers feelings and would only try and stop doing something just to avoid streber yelling at him. ethan, also, again, had very bad issues with needing the attention on them. so, ethan would be very loving and nice to streber when he gave him attention.

but,, when streber needed attention? ethan would be kinda closed off, trying to shrug streber away and stop it from getting that attention.

now, big thing, streber cannot function in a relationship if their needs arent met, specifically with comfort and love towards them. it doesnt even have to be touch, it can be words, and thats all that they need for that love to get across.

ethan only gave streber a lot of focus and attention specifically only when streber would have intense panic attacks or breakdowns. sometimes ethan gradually tried to share some love and focus and care onto streber, but.. they didnt most of the time.

2 years, 2 months, and the two broke up. streber sobbed on this cliff where ethan and it had their first kiss together. streber threw the bouquet off the cliff.

even worse? ethan didnt even focus on the actual qualities of streber. they loved this specific idea of streber and never appreciated any part of them besides when ethan got attention.

ethan then went to therapy, and the two had a rift seperating eachother for a good while, then ethan.. started to heal, started to get better with themself and truly find who the fuck they were.

ethan broke off various things, but did start to indulge into things they genuinely liked. they broke off unhealthy friendships and they most importantly left their abusive parents and took in morgana to live with her (when ethan was able to adopt them).

ethan took up the hobbies of tattooing, making punk and goth music with blaz and two other friends, collecting furbies, collecting skulls of animals (romeo was a skull they made themself :3!!!!), making creepy dolls, and collecting crystals.

the main thing ethan DID have from the start of their unhealthy need for attention was tattooing. mostly due how taboo it was for being young and tattoos. yk? so yeah. they genuinely do like tattooing though :3

anyway, they became much more calm and started to seep more into actually focusing on peoples feelings. they stsrted to chill out and become much more laid back and instead of always being in a social situation and trying to find a point where they can get the spotlight on them, they focused on whatever was going on. say a conversation, ethan focused on every bit of what that person said just to make them feel important and listened to.

now, ethan and streber began to build their bond, and became much better friends. they have this same sassy and dramatic energy (as kind of shown in strebers rehearsal :3) that makes them really compatible sometimes, and they always have a good time laughing about it after it.

now.. with ethan, they.. kind of focused too much, to the point their new partner after streber took it to their advantage. their partner hurt them emotionally and verbally and manipulated them into thinking that ethan wasnt doing good enough, to the point they wouldnt focus on themself at all and would constantly try and improve themself in ways their partner wanted, and would not give themself any selfcare because they thought that all that mattered was their partner.

that relationship went down, and ethan healed from that more, trying to not bottle their feelings and expressing their emotions with their friends more.

and then... ethan started to like streber, again, but this time they loved the genuine parts of them, each small trait and habit. they loved streber.

they needed streber.

one day on a whim, ethan asked if streber wanted to try again. just for a week, or even less.

and they tried, and ethan was so loving and caring and tried super hard to show their emotions and take care of streber aswell, slowly treading through and giving streber so much love. it felt fulfilling for once, and streber felt genuinely loved.

..except.... it just.. something wasnt right.

every heavy makeout, every soft touch, every date. it just felt off, and streber couldnt figure out why.

it was until it realized.. they didnt see anything in ethan, they didnt really love them. it was just good close friends, and that was all streber could manage.

but.. it would try, it would try and give it more time. ethan had so much love to give, so they would let it last for a little bit more.

anddd. 2 months after, and streber just couldnt let it go on like this, seeing ethan give endless love to him when streber didnt even know how to return it back. streber didnt love ethan. they never did.

afterwards, ethan fell into a slight depression, becoming closed off to their friends and not interacting with streber for a while. streber would visit, but ethan was dry and eventually asked him to leave.

after a bit, ethan learned to accept the rejection and started to be okay with just being good friends with streber. streber looked happy and free not being with ethan, and ethan would accept that.

they talked it out, and were truly just close friends. that was the best way things could turn out.

(though!! one night, when ethan and streber were both high, they almost kissed. they talked it out more and made clear boundaries. ethan wouldnt be satisfied with FWB, and streber wouldnt really like a committed relationship with someone he didnt see romantically.)

holy fucking fucking shit. yeahl there y9u go

i hope that makes sense. yeah whatevrr behwhehhdhfuhfhffhfhdhdhhdhfghhghg

#spooky month #streber spooky month #ethan spooky month #gothicbats

[tellywoodtrash]

hiiiii tt!! hope ur doing well <333

i wanted some advice from you, if that's okay. i started college this year and the experience has been ... nothing like i imagined lol. basically, i've been lonely my entire life. i'm also autistic and i think thats part of why its so hard for me to make friends. i really thought college would change that, idk why. its not like i bought into the ultimate karan johar college fantasy or anything like that, i just thought it would be...better than my school life, at least. for the first month, it kind of was. i was talking to lot of people and even getting along with them, at least i thought i did. but then one by one everyone just, like, stopped talking to me??? i don't get it.

like, one of the first friend groups i made in college, almost all of them decided to join a college society together, while i decided not to because i wasn't really interested in that particular club. then they all but forgot about me, once they joined that society. they made new friends over there and of course, all of them were still friends among themselves, but it was like i didn't even exist anymore. maybe i shouldn't take it so personally but i genuinely made an effort to keep that friendship alive and literally got nothing in return from their side.

then i made friends with some other girls in my course and all three of them literally got boyfriends at the exact same time and they started ignoring me too. at this point i feel i am the problem. because the reason all of these people (who i have only known for a few months, at best) abandoning me hurts so much is because this is how i've been treated my entire life. and now i feel like i will never escape it. if i somehow haven't been able to form a genuine bond with ANYONE for my entire 18 years of existence on this earth, clearly something is very wrong with me. i have no friends (never had them in the first place) and i don't even get along with my family. i am so completely alone and i just do not know how to cope with that.

i'm tired of being ghosted by everyone i consider a friend and then only being remembered when they need something. they are only my friend when it's convenient for them. college was supposed to be a fresh start but it just proved that every new "start" of mine will have the same old ending. i hate to let my pessimism get the best of me but i have no hope left in me. i have always felt like i had so much love to give, but no one to give it to. now, however, i don't see the point in trying. i am scared to even try to talk to people at this point, i feel like i will just fuck it up like i always do.

this is way too long already and idek why i'm writing all this but thank you for reading ig. i hope ur doing better than i am 💗

Hi hi friend,

First of alll, come here youuuuu.

Secondly, it's not really you. It's just the age and inherent nature of most 18 year olds; they tend to be a little flaky and unreliable. Couple that with college being the first real taste of freedom desi kids get, and yeah...... This shit tends to happen. You're right in that you shouldn't take it personally. Sometimes people just don't vibe with each other and that's okay. Sometimes people are rude and uncommunicative, and again, that's on them, not you. You shouldn't let this stuff get you down or lose hope in ever finding your tribe. It takes time. Sometimes they're right in front of you and you don't really consider them your "kind" of person, until one random conversation/situation you're thrown into with them proves to you that they indeed are! All I am saying is that you have your whoooooooole life ahead of you, and you're going to meet soooooo many people through it, and you WILL meet someone or the other whose weird will match yours. Whether that be irl or online.

Your line of having so much love to give but no one to give it to really resonated with me, coz I've felt that way so many times in my life too. But there is someone who needs it - YOU. Give yourself that love and consideration. Use this time to build a strong sense of self and have an unshakable bond with yourself. Do the things you love and pamper + better yourself in every way that you feel like. Alone does not have to mean lonely, not at all. There's literally so much you can do by yourself, like take classes, volunteer, etc, that will be such an enriching experience to who you are as a person. In time, whenever your people do show up, they'll be a fun bonus. You won't NEED them, but they'll just be a wholesome addition to your grounded little life that centers all around yourself.

Sending you lots of love 🤗🤗🤗💖💖💖

#big sister tt gives life advice #tt answers

[gendrie]

Do you think sansa will be a villain? How do you think her story ends?

no, i don’t. look, i will admit that frequently i only care about her as she relates as a foil to arya but, for me, she doesnt fall into the flawless princess or the villainous bully or even flawed girl who learns to be better and stay kind <3 (vom) she is a fallible human character going thru it. her arc tends to be more subtle than a lot of the others bc of how sansa’s perspective is constructed (its NOT reliable) and bc she lacked agency, but as sansa moves from pawn to player she’s learning to use others for her own purposes. she is playing the game and its going to get messy. for awhile she was caged - simultaneously reliant upon and a victim of the violence of those around her. and its easy to keep your hands clean when they’re tied. but now that she’s being given actual choices she's facing moral challenges just like everybody else. like her siblings she is in a tight spot and struggling. i think she’s still sympathetic, but she is also part of a plot to murder a child lol. thats literally the plot as of her last feast chapter so idk why people act so surprised.

its difficult to do endgame speculations for anyone at this point. but sansa’s story is primarily about overcoming littlefinger imo. she’s falling for his temptations rn but eventually she will turn on him. beyond that? my most controversial thoughts on this would be that i don’t think she’s destined to be in the north. yeah, i know......but im not going to ignore the dead direwolf, the bare minimum association to the old gods, the non existent connection with the northern people, zero lessons from ned on leading, ect. i’d imagine sansa will go north, be reunited with her siblings only to realize she cannot understand them and winterfell is not the place she idealized. this is a recurring theme for her. she did it with the lannisters/KL and the tyrells/HG and with the starks/WF. but she will live and go from naïve girl to empowered young woman. she could do a lot worse. 

#its really so crazy that we’re all supposed to pretend shes becoming ‘’more northern’’ like where lmao #the investment in that particular bit of fanfic has done so much damage #as if its my fault grrm paid her to dust on that #ask

[grandhotelabyss]

Thoughts on Hemmingway? I am so ignorant of literature, that I kinda have to take people like Logo Daedalus for their word when he says that he is basically a hacky Bukowski writter. Still I read "The Man and the Sea" and thought it was alright, but still, I'm not sure if it's just do to my more than limited knowledge and experience with real literature or if Logo's takes on literature are also "flawed" (like I dont take him serious in shit like tv shows, like he was praising that shitty "The chosen" show till it had some neocon austerity propoganda in it, ignoring how cynically "soulles" and cheap it was from the start ((also trying to say the live action One Piece isnt totall garbage which should be obvious to everybody, but thats just my own pet peeve lol))

Judgments of Hemingway have been so wrapped up in political signaling and counter-signaling since at least the advent of second-wave feminism that it's hard to know what to say—and in a different sort of signaling and counter-signaling, this time aesthetic, about the merits of minimalism vs. maximalism in narrative prose.

Politically, Hemingway was still the paragon of male chauvinism when I was educated, whereas he has now re-appeared, thanks largely to Ken Burns's (very good) PBS documentary, as the disabled trans heroine we've been waiting for. I tend to look on those kinds of shifts with amusement, since they are essentially academic squabbles, but I am glad we've caught up to his posthumous queer novel, The Garden of Eden, which I read this year and found excellent despite its supposedly being unfinished. (I think it is finished; he just knew he couldn't publish it in the '50s.) It's obviously a book written at white heat; it feels like it might combust in your hand.

The quality of that novel aside, and of The Sun Also Rises, I tend to believe he's best approached as a poet: a writer who explored his unique sensibility in his particular epoch in a brand-new style, a style that transformed not only his own language but several other languages as well (he was and remains beloved in France, Russia, China...). He is a lyric writer, fundamentally, and had a lyric writer's effect: on the very way we speak and write. His American renovation of English, his new democratization of literature, makes him a 20th-century Walt Whitman. He was also, though he didn't flaunt it, a very learned man who knew exactly what he was doing. He didn't write simply because he was stupid!

On the other hand, he's bound to look inadequate next to a preternaturally gifted true novelist like Faulkner, who was rather an American Shakespeare. Faulkner's own critique of Hemingway—here comes the minimalism vs. maximalism debate—was that he did not show courage as a writer, that, in other words, his famously rigorous style was too controlled and even too populist to touch greatness. I probably agree with this, less as a critique of Hemingway at his best than as a critique of the idea of making him the model writer whom everyone had to imitate, which is what he became in the middle of the 20th century and in some creative-writing pedagogy.

(Minimalism and maximalism should be thought of as techniques always available to any writer, to be used depending on the needs of a particular project. Even my own work exhibits both extremes, with The Quarantine of St. Sebastian House and The Class of 2000 more toward the Hemingway end of the spectrum and Portraits and Ashes and Major Arcana more toward the Faulkner. The power of the great late-20th-century American novelists—McCarthy, Morrison, DeLillo—is that they could do both, often in a single book.)

Speaking personally, I fell in love with Hemingway when I discovered him as a teen. I always had a tendency to write purple prose, so I needed to learn that minimalist lesson, and I found him at just the right time for it. Before I read him, I never knew you could do so much with so little. I could see even then that he was uneven, that The Old Man and the Sea was labored and portentous and A Farewell to Arms beautifully written but not much of a novel, compared to the perfect crystalline crispness of short stories like "Soldier's Home" or "In Another Country" or even the taut, dramatic The Sun Also Rises.

(I've never read For Whom the Bell Tolls, I should admit; you probably need to read that one to form a complete judgment.)

In short, I like Hemingway, I even love Hemingway. I would not put him in the front rank of the novelists, but I would put him in the front rank of artists who work in language, if you get my distinction. If you want to know where to start with Hemingway, I would get either a selection of short stories or The Sun Also Rises, not The Old Man and the Sea.

#ernest hemingway #american literature #literary criticism #creative writing

[autismvampyre]

https://www.tumblr.com/autismvampyre/741462958593441792/hate-how-its-practically-impossible-to-find-anti?source=share

I saw this post and I couldn't agree more and Im asking anonymously cause I don't want to get judgement and stuff and I know this is going to sound a little dumb but I'm having a crisis about like. Whether or not I should support Taylor anymore like. Im going for the eras tour soon and I'm obviously really really excited but I've been seeing more and more anti swiftie media and it all really makes sense. Your blog was like the only anti swiftie one that didn't say all swifties deserve to die lol (at least from what I could find) but I just wanted to know if you have any advice on like letting go of the music in a way. I love her music, and one of the reasons I'm really scared to let go is that my childhood best friend and I share so many precious memories over her music and I don't want to disappoint her in a way by not listening anymore and her music helped me through really really hard times, which feels kind of dumb to say cause I'm 15, but like it's always really helped me and I don't know if I can or if I want to let go but at the same time I'm huge on ethics and a big part of my life has always been helping people and empathizing, and I just don't know if I want to support an artist who can't seem to publicly do that. Idk I was just wondering if you had advice? Thank you so much :)

P.s. feel free to ignore this ik it's loaded and not related to your blog entirely

hey! thanks for the ask. i wanted to respond to this before i forgot so this might be rushed but i hope i can still help.

i get your dilemma, i really do. i like her music a lot and one of the worst things about the anti swiftie community is how much it relies on the "her music sucks" card. its lazy and just personal taste, and i absolutely hate the puritanical idea that if you enjoy a single taylor song you are in some way morally lesser. people like what they like, and i think it's completely fine to enjoy her music because that isn't really an ethical concern

you can separate the art from the artist. its fine to do so. you shouldn't force yourself to stop listening to music you like unless you feel thats right for you. im very critical of taylor but i still occasionally listen to her music because there are a lot of memories attached to it and those memories are precious to me. art can make you feel so much, and you're not dumb for feeling comforted by it.

i dont think you have to let go of her music unless you want to. i believe the most important thing is to let go of the idea of taylor as a brand. people tend to get attached to her due to clever marketing; to a lot of people she's their friend and they feel very protective over her for that. taylor thrives off the parasocial relationship of her fandom which is financially beneficial to her. the most important thing to remember is that she is a billionaire with more money than you could ever imagine and it is impossible to get that rich without fucking over the poor. the image of taylor in the media is not real, she isn't the girl next door, she isn't your friend, she's an ultra rich celebrity who gets richer by pretending to be your buddy. once you've realized that, you're pretty much done

now, i definitely wouldn't recommend financially supporting her. if you're going to the eras tour don't go alone, be safe, wear earplugs(seriously this one is so important you dont want tinnitus believe me). i know there are a lot of different factors and ethics about the shows but as someone who a) hates live music cause im autistic and just end up overstimulated and b) was never in a financial situation where i could or even would buy eras tickets i feel very under qualified to tackle any of that so i'd recommend talking to someone else who knows about that.

to end, i'll just say piracy isn't theft if buying isn't owning snd there are guides out there so you can listen without paying her dime. sorry if this was incoherent, i am tired. have a good rest of your day/night/whatever time it is and please take care

#asks #nydias post #anti taylor swift #anti swifties #you can always send me another ask of message if you have more questions

[hellofeanor]

Hi! its me again you friendly neighbourhood nuisance lol. So I’m super bored and my curiosity likes to torture me so i have even more questions about your fic Brittle stars. You’re absolutely entitled to ignore me if you want.

1) i dont remember if youve explained this before but what do the names lirjie, Kashan, Ayane, Gurri and Irreneth (once again a test of my spelling abilities lol) mean ?

2) how many biological kids do you thing Oren has ? It was my belief that elves have relatively slow reproduction rates with people like Feanor, Finwe etc being the exception. Is this different with uruk ?

3) how likely is it that Ayane has moved on from Oren ? This might be spoilery so you can skip this one, I’m just desperate for them get back together and have a healthy healed relationship

4) what do the parents of the original Uruks (eg. Oren Ayane all the rest) feel about the orcish grandchildren ?

5) Will Irreneth’s husband appear. Whats his feelings on everything going on?

6) Will Orens friends who he was captured with ever be reborn? If they didnt survive the transformation into Uruk does this mean they died young? Like Oren being a fully grown adult with thousands of years of misery behind him reuniting with his childhood friend, a tortured teenager.

7) will the scholars in Valinor be excited about Oren’s existence as a surving Uruk and his book(s) explaining the Uruk?

I think thats all I’ve got just now. Please don’t feel this is me pushing you to write a sequel, it’s absolutely up to you, no need to feel rushed and you’re more than welcome to ignore me. Once again love your work!

Oohoo, more good questions! Some of these I HAVE thought about and have an answer to, and some I'm just going to be pulling out of my ass. Which is which? It's a mystery. :)

Meaning of names. Okay I'm going to admit here. All of these names you listed were made up based on sound rather than meaning. I like doing it that way for two reasons, and those are 1) I'm the kind of nerd who usually knows right away what your OC's name means, which is a superpower I do not like having because it tends to kick me out of the story and into Elf Thoughts Mode (so I explicitly DO NOT want people to immediately know what my OCs names mean), and 2) I... don't really care too much what the names mean as long as they sound cool. Anyway, what I usually do for names is muck around with words until I get something I like, focusing 80% on sound and 20% on meaning. And that 20% on meaning is pretty much just making sure it doesn't mean anything horrid like "death carpet". Kashân is sort of explained in the story, though Adar himself admits he doesn't know what it means. He just liked the sound. But it's from the Valarin word akašān meaning "he says". (This does make sense in the context of the chapter I promise.) Gûri, on the other hand, is just the Gnomish word 'sweet' (basic-ass baby name right there), chosen because it also fits Black Speech phonology. Lirjë is the root verb lir (sing) with the sort of abstract noun ending -ja attached, then morphed from Lirja to Lirjë to make it a feminine name that means something like 'song'. Ayánë means something vaguely related to (but not exactly 100% spot on) 'blessed': from ayanā (to bless). And finally Irenneth is the most problematic of the bunch. Originally her name was Iranneth, but then I decided I liked the sound of Irenneth better. And DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? 'The kinship lady': i-rend-eth. It was so stupid I had to keep it. Absolute chef's kiss of a name. Perfect.

How many biological kids does Óren have? Five that survived infancy that he knows of for sure. After that, he made a point of not keeping track of which were his, so the final count is unknown. But definitely far more than would ever be seen among elves. Tolkien mentions that elves have few children, both because children are dear to them and they want to devote sufficient time to raising each child, but also because significant physical and mental strength goes into the creation of each child. I don't think either of these limitations would be placed on the uruk. They don't put much (if any) care into raising each child, and nor do they invest anywhere near as much spiritual energy as an elf would in the child's creation, with the shortfall being made up by Morgoth's interference in the process. (At least at first with the captured elves.) As such, they're able to reproduce at a far greater rate than their elven kin.

How likely is it that Ayánë has moved on? Okay this question WOULD give massive spoilers for the patchy plot I'm slowly assembling for a sequel, so I won't say anything here. But if you do want to know just message again and I'll answer privately.

What do the parents think of the orcish grandchildren? I think they'd be horrified and try not to think about it. They learn, at some point down the line, that they're blood relatives of all these monsters that are attacking and killing their people. At early times in history, I don't think they'd be at all sympathetic, and would probably be more inclined to try to prove their distance by being some of the most vocal opponents. But maybe much later, if Óren is reunited with his parents, he can get them to come around to not just blindly hating the uruk.

Will Irenneth's husband appear? LMAO maybe? Right now he's kind of a non-character, but I did, in early (imaginary) drafts of some chapters, have scenes in which he actually appeared as more than an offhand mention. So maybe in the future he'll get a speaking role. But so far he only exists because logically Ellaer needed a dad and it would be narratively more complicated to kill him off than just keep him out of the way in the background. I don't foresee him ever being important, though.

Will Óren's friends ever be reborn? I'm going to go with... probably not. The external reason is I'm just not a huge fan of elf rebirth storylines (not against them either, but it's just not a scenario that I've ever wanted to write). The internal reason is they died in Utumno before the elves were ever found by the Valar, and would have become unhoused spirits tormented by that horrible death for years before the call of Mandos ever came into being. And would they heed that, or trust it at all? Probably not. They'd remain ghosts in the north of Palisor and eventually fade from the world entirely.

Will scholars in Valinor be excited by Óren's uruk-scholarship? LOL this is another large-scale plot spoiler for the allegedly forthcoming sequel. And also I haven't entirely decided yet. And even the aspects I think I've decided are up in the air and subject to change until written, which is a ways off yet. But this is a topic that should be addressed. Again, if you want spoilers, lmk and I'll answer privately.

Thank you again for the ask! You are making me do work and think about these questions, which is honestly good for figuring some stuff out on my end.

#brittle stars #elf thoughts #kitcat22

[sundownsquad]

Second Anniversary Asks #9 — @leehenley

Q: A question for Nitsani! What is your favorite thing to tell people about Chigba?

Nitsani: Oh, that’s a tough one! There’s a lot of things I love about Chigba, it’s hard to narrow it down. Nitsani: Normally I’d want to talk about how selfless and invested she actually is, but she always says something like Sani, cut that out. I’m not a nice person, stop lying to people. Chigba: She tries to make me look thoughtful or some other such nonsense. It's ridiculous. Nitsani: She’ll tell you she’s just a humble freighter pilot that only cares about the work, but don’t listen to her. She’s trying to throw you off. Chigba: How dare you use the word humble to describe me. Speedy: yeah come on zio humble is a term solely reserved for describing me Knox: 🙄 Nitsani: Case and point that I won’t get very far talking about her character. 😆 Nitsani: So I’ll share a more neutral fact instead: Chigba knows how to play the Pixelito sitar! Speedy: wait for real Knox: No way, I didn’t know you can play an instrument! Drums: How did you learn to play the sitar, Chigba? Chigba: My mother knew how to play, so she taught me. I hated it as a kid, but it’s a very traditional thing so I eventually decided to carry it forward. The sitar itself is, what, 9 generations old now? Old as dirt, basically. Speedy: so a family heirloom then Chigba: Yeah. My family is a stubborn, sentimental bunch. Sort of a “we’re passing these traditions down whether you like it or not” type deal. Nitsani: See, she can say she’s sentimental. But if I said that she’d sue me for defamation of character. Chigba: That's what you get for using the Force to look into by brain to figure all this stuff out. Nitsani: Chigba, it doesn’t take telepathy to know these things about you. Lol Chigba: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyways, I’m gonna leave now. A new episode of Intrigue on Iridonia is about to air and I will not be missing it. Speedy: OH THATS RIGHT  Speedy: im going to watch too be right there Knox: Wow I can’t believe that got him to use that many capital letters at once 😂 Drums: 🤣 Kess: They’re real serious about those holo dramas, let me tell ya. Nitsani: Ok, now that Chigba bounced: another one of my favorite things about Chigba is how she leaves little gifts around for everyone. She is genuinely so thoughtful and pays close attention to all of us. She leaves the gifts in specific places where the recipient will find it but doesn’t write her name on it or anything. It’s how she shows affection and support. It’s also right in line with a common cultural thing Dugs do. They tend to put great importance on performing acts of selflessness or kindness in ways that don’t put them in the spotlight; it should be done with sincerity. It’s one of the reasons Dugs can seem brash or rude. They don’t want to make a show out of those sorts of things. They have no problem making a show out of anything else, though. Knox: Yeah, exactly. She tries to down play it whenever she does something nice so it doesn't look like she's trying to get attention from it. But with just about anything else she'll be loud and in your face. Which is apparently another Dug cultural thing. Nitsani: Yup! Passion, energy, and bluntness are valued traits for many Dugs and that tends to manifest itself in the form of dramatic, high-volume conversations. When Chigba really gets going it's impossible to ignore her. Drums: She also does that with port authorities that are acting like idiots. Other freighter operators love when she’s around because she has no problem taking on the jerks that try to make things harder for everyone. We all, admittedly, get a kick out of watching her tear those people a new one. Nitsani: Like I said, there’s a lot of things to love about Chigba. Lol

#Thanks for the ask! <3 #I made up so many things for this one #I've never been a fan of the fact that Dugs are considered to be aggressive and primitive with no values #So I'm just ignoring all that and doing some world building to give them more depth #They deserve motives and culture dang it #Sundown Anniversary #Group chat with the squad #Sundown Asks #Sundown Squad

[curiouskurona]

 ( for context , this was originally a comment on this post but i tend to be long winded / i could tell it was gonna get long so i decided to just maek my own post bsdjhgfkjdhgja . also abuse discussion tw for tha following + tha post i linked to , as well as spoilers for Princess Tutu )  

 ive made my peace with rue and fakir-- well , not 100% completely absolutely , but ive come a long long way from where i was when i first watched tha show , where i hated fakir SO much , and i had more sympathy for rue but wasn't fond of her either . in fact , where before i was adamant that i hated fakir , i can say i actually liek him now . didnt think i would ever get to this point lol . and i liek rue as well , though her turn around came easier for me          

 i feel like i would have warmed up to them a lot faster if liek . they got ANY consequences for their actions . im not talking about either of them being sad / having other troubles , im not talking about cosmic punishment / karma , i mean direct consequences for the way that they treated mytho . ive heard people argue that " well mytho doesnt have feelings so it doesnt matter how they treated him " , but that argument falls flat fast when you point to tha fact that they both KNEW mytho was getting his feelings back , and they did absolutely nothing to change their behavior . hell , they might have even treated him worse , because of the stress of tha situation or whatever . fakir pushed mytho's face against the mirror and said " look at this repulsive face thats regained the feeling of loneliness " . rue backed away unsettled when she saw mytho smile . there is no argument of " well he didn't feel anything " or " well they didn't realize " . they knew what they were doing   

 and they kind of just ... get away with it . they dont really have to acknowledge the way that they treated him past an almost throwaway line from fakir in the end where hes liek " damn i was kinda mean huh "         

 i would probably be moar forgiving about it if they got ANY sort of consequences ( narratively or through fandom perception ) for their actions , but most ppl dont really care enough about mytho for that . and seeing his situation be largely ignored made me defensive and bitter towards them [ fakir and rue ] . as a trauma survivor myself ( who heavily relates to mytho ) it was a really high hurdle for me to look at them , fakir especially , in a positive light , regardless of whether or not i could recognize their own traumas / understand why they did som of tha things they did .  

  and yeah ppl change n whatever . wounds can heal , relationships can be mended . but fakir never even tried to mend theirs . mytho never got any closure or an apology or anything and it just sucks so much . i mean yeah he got to tell fakir off as r!mytho during that one battle . but most of him being all * evil laughter * at fakir wasnt even him , you can see he doesnt even consider himself that person when hes staggering back to his dorm clutching his heart going “ what are you , who are you , whats goin on ” . mytho got to be a lil scoundrel to fakir as r!mytho but thats not tha saem as any meaningful acknowledgement / apology on fakir’s part      

 and im just . idk . im hesitant to put this in any tags , i dont think i will . bc i know ppl love fakir . but liek . please . can we at least acknowledge what he did . or are we going to keep pretending that his worst offense is being abrasive / grumpy . im sorry to have to tell you this but fakir’s ( and rue’s * ) behaviour towards mytho is literal actual textbook abuse . they isolate him , control him , berate him , lock him up , get in his face and yell at him , manhandle him , tell him who he can talk to , tell him what he can read , tell him that he has to listen to them and no one else . liek . hello . i know you dont want to hear this about ur fave characters but theyre abusers . its not even subtext its just THE text    

 the fact that fakir grows softer after meeting ahiru is irrelevant . him treating ahiru better as the series goes on does not mean that he is treating mytho better as the series goes on . him softening up and growing into a better person is not equal to an apology or any kind of closure or comfort for mytho  

 and dont even get me started on how mytho and rue should not have ended up together . no piece of media is perfect , i do have some things is disliek about PT , and one of them is definitely the ending unfortunately . but thats another post . and its purrobably not even for tha reasons you might think i have    

 also , this is not to say that i think fakir or rue are evil , or that they dont care / never cared about mytho . i dont think its as black and white as that . fakir and rue arent such one dimensional characters , silhouettes laughing evilly to themselves as they take joy in hurting him . i dont think that the fact that fakir abused mytho means he was never worried about him or didnt care about him . i dont think tha fact that rue abused mytho means that she never cared about him either . its messy . they were all put into a very straining situation . ive talked in other posts acknowledging the strain fakir was under , and ive talked at length with friends about why rue felt the need to act the way she did , too . but that doesnt make what they did okay . and i just wish that mytho got any sort of apology , closure , or comfort . instead of everyone going “ well glad thats over !! lets move on with our lives while pretending we all [ sans ahiru ] didnt just abuse mytho this entire show “       

 anyways this post isnt very organized and i purrobably didnt maek any sense . i was just rambling i guess . this is something that ive thought about a lot    

 * if youve noticed im leaning harder into fakir rn , its purrobably bc ppl are moar willing to acknowledge rue’s behaviour . shes loved as an evil gal girlboss or whatevar , even if its often joaky ppl are moare ready to go “ yeah lol rue was so fucked up “ , and have made a lot of serious fanart about the toxicity of her relationship with mytho too . but for tha moast part ppl shy away from putting fakir in any serious negative light . aside from a few posts ive seen ( that were a breath of fresh air honestly ) that talked about his actions , moast ppl portray fakir as someone whos grumpy and abrasive , kind of a jerk , maybe even a “ tsundere “ , but ultimately harmless . so i guess im harder on fakir for that . because im frustrated that ppl only care about shipping him with ahiru , and are more than ready to downplay how horrible he was to mytho so that they can pretend its all sunshine and rainbows with him or something . again it goes back to them receiving no direct consequences for their actions , narratively OR through fandom perception . rue is at least acknowledged as someone that doesnt have a totally great track record , in tha fandom                   

#diary #i forgot my uploads tag uhhhhh #uploads #pt #spoilers #abuse tw

[onward--upward]

fanfic ask game!

thank u for the tag my friend!! xx @adventuresofprettyboyandthekid

What is your total posted word count on AO3?

117473

How often do you write?

i try to write every day, whether that be in my notebook or on my computer!! even when i'm not working on fanfic, i tend to be working on some of my personal writing projects!!

Do you have a routine for writing?

i do most of my writing in the evening (usually after dinner!) i tend to put on longform youtube videos that i can kind of tune out and work on my writing periodically through the evening

What’s your favourite tropes/pairing?

oh god. thats hard? for tropes i love me some enemies to lovers, soulmates, time travel, mutual pining, fake dating, etc

favourite pairings... well, buck and eddie, of course (that's probably obvious) and i also recently have been getting into quentin/eliot (the magicians) & micheal/alex (roswell new mexico)! honourable mention to percabeth my OG <3 <3

Do you have a favourite fic of yours?

steppin' into fate has a special place in my heart forever and ever <3

Your fic with the most kudos?

crack my ribs and make me whole (just broke 800 kudos that's so *crazy* oh my god)

Anything you don’t like about your writing?

hm well yes many things! i think i struggle to ground things sometimes. when i write i often end up with a lot of aimless conversations that take place in nebulous blank rooms lol! but that's something that i actively am working on getting better at

also i am terrible at plotting and so i meander around for a while until i finally get to where i'm going hahah

Now something you do like?

i really love writing dialogue, i like to think that's something that i do well! also weirdly enough i think i'm very good at writing arguments - it's very satisfying to write two people approaching an issue from very different angles, especially when nobody is wrong. it's so delicious, one of my favourite things to write!

tagging: okay i have no idea who's done this so i'm just gonna tag people and if you've done it already pls ignore!! @hetrez @megslovesbooks @eusuntgratie

#fanfic ask game #<3 <3 <3

[1007xf]

i mean. i guess not then. to be fair most of me dreams tend to result in death so technically by my definition id have a shit ton of nightmares but i dont. but still thats not good man :(((( you ok? 🫂

NOPE ABSOLUTELY NOT I AM SERIOUSLY NOT OK. for a variety of reasons tho. its been happening in my dreams a lot, where i either 1. do something for them that they brush off and ignore, 2. fuck up something for them and it makes me feel bad, or 3. fuck up so bad that they dont forgive me and they leave or smth along the lines. havent told em yet. and SAME TO YOU omg please rant about whatever youd like to me be it good or bad :) if ya need to get it out of there im right here to listen :)

my parents would disagree!!!! i am Constantly compared to my best friends now that i think about it. they're somewhat older than me, but oh well its normal i think. still makes me feel like shit tho lol. thanks a lot MOM /nbh, s

OH YEAH for sarcasm theres the /s tonetag :) and also /gen for genuine, if it helps. like depending on the message, it could change entirely the meaning :) like. "thanks a lot man /s" and "thanks a lot man /gen" have different meanings even though theyre the same message :) Idk if this helps but ye :) i cannot blame you though i tend to use sarcasm a lot too so yeah :) and ofc man :)

hey no worries lol it happens sometimes. fuck i think this was even longer than both our responses combined so ur good

Aah, no need to worry about me in that regard, I never take my dreams too seriously especially those kind because they make very little sense anyway, they're more funny than anything, even if I die in them.

Aw, that's no good. But, really, if it's mainly happening in dreams, don't let them affect you that much. They're only dreams! I think a good way to combat any worries they may arise is by just... overthinking the dream, in a way? Think about the details, or lack thereof. Maybe that can help you realize that they're way to bare bones and empty to mirror reality. But I'm not an expert in any regard so I dont know how viable this advice can actually be "o_o

Being compared to older people isn't fair because they literally have an advantage over you. They had more time to do shit, the comparison just doesn't work. So don't stress about them too much! You are good just the way you are, imho!

Whew we both said a lot. But I don't mind! I like talking to you :3

[rotshop]

help girl i just woke up and im already thinking abt mag s/o again. anyway please consider ;

[ tw body horror, some brief light gore and violence ]

[ note ; reader is SLIGHTLY described. the only thing mentioned is that they have a noticeable, identifying scar on their face

hank + mag s/o

-he knew you even before the boombox incident. he doesn't even really remember how you two first met, he just remembers that you started talking to him and then just kinda kept coming back. at first he wasn't the biggest fan of you since he was 'doing just fine on his own,' but...he admittedly was already really attached to you. they've never been much of a talker and that's especially noticeable to you at that point in time but ,,, they respond enough with signing, nodding / shaking their head, or the occasional speaking that you're able to carry some conversations pretty well.

-he doesn't really. have. a lot of people in his life. you're really his only real close friend, it's kinda hard for him to fully wrap his head around it so !! they chose not to, instead focusing more-so on whatever it was you were rambling to them about that day.

-not super sure of where to put this lmao but ummm ehe . he's actually surprisingly touchy with you????? like. you've hung out at his house a few times and he just like. you'll start out sitting next to each other and you'll end up either laying with your head on their chest or vice versa . its . a little funny . you tease him about it a little and he just flicks your shoulder. also traces your scar a lot if you'll let them, they're not entirely sure why they do it, they just . like asking you about it occasionally.

-also you have scary dog privileges. they might look like any other grunt at that point but they're still tall as fuck and idk man !! something abt getting a blank stare from someone who towers over u would probably make u shut up and mind ur own damn business.

-again, he's not super good at fully recognizing / acknowledging certain thoughts and feelings of his but . yknow. he can definitely tell he at least worries about you a lot more than he would some other grunt he just met. he can definitely tell there's a reason he doesn't mind you touching him, whether by grabbing his hand to go show him something or just placing a hand on his shoulder or arm (most likely arm, again. hes tall. ). they can definitely tell there's a reason that they find themself genuinely enjoying your interactions.

-after the park thing you don't see them for a long time. everytime you try and call him the lines dead, everytime you try and ask others about him you just get choice words, all in all you're pretty much lost on the entire thing. sure, you know what happened but . it just never sits right with you. it doesn't help whenever people ask questions about them or give you wary looks because of your association, half steps back when you take one forward.

-anyway. yeah nevada goes to shit and you get magnified for the aahw. by now you just. don't really talk about hank. surprisingly, you have a little more of your old memories than the average mag !! congrats. problem is they're all foggy enough that you only really distantly decipher them. lmao. you aren't super high on the ladder but you're a pretty tough mag to beat. you're well known enough that other mags tend to hang around you when there's not much else going on. v2 mags especially think it's fun to mess around with you by jumping on your back or otherwise clinging onto you . idk man u've got like . a little family here .

-at one point or another there's an outing youre on that ends up going wrong. you get split up from the rest of your unit and are forced to hide out in some old abandoned building while you wait for backup. you're a little too injured to try and walk all the way back, a heavy gash on your side preventing you from doing too much in the moment. when you hear heavy steps on concrete you're able to give some sort of noise of relief, turning your head to look over your shoulder at whichever agent in your group had finally found you-

-you're instead met with red goggles and the end of a gun.

-any kind of relief is snatched away, you know damn well who it is by just the bit you can see in the dark alone. even standing in the shade between two windows (one of which you were sitting by, probably how they seen you in the first place- if that's the case though, it's a little weird they hadn't just shot at you through it.) you knew it was him. you're already stumblingly forcing yourself up to as much of your full height as you can manage, taking some kind of defensive position even as one of your hands ghosts over your gash. the throbbing pain of it and the feeling of blood sticking and running down your skin is enough that you can't seem to focus on the fact that he won't stop staring at your face.

-it doesn't take long before your legs seem to fail you, forcing you forward a bit as you kneel in some sort of attempt to keep upright. you're too busy hissing under your breath and screwing your eyes shut in pain as your hand covers your side to notice your company stepping forwards. you're snapped back to attention when there's a hand on your face, fingertips digging into your skin as they yank your head down a little further. you know you should be grabbing him, that you should be digging your claws into his torso and ripping him clean in half, throwing whatevers left aside and leaving. you know thats what you were told to do, what you were told they deserved anyway. yet, you aren't. instead, you're just giving some warning growl as you stare at them. you notice how the end of the gun is pointed away from you, how their touch seems to outline the mark on your face.

-"If you try and hurt me, I'll kill you." That's the only real heads up you get before he's crouching down and shoving your hand out of the way, grabbing something from his pocket to get to work on you. you don't fail to notice how little attention they're paying to you (aside from the focus on your wound, of course), that you could just rush forward and slam them into the ground if you really wanted.

-ok im skippin g ahead bc this is already way too goddamn long for hcs DEJWJCS

-anyway. it's a complicated relationship for a while. the others tend to avoid you a little but he just keeps showing up around you. they keep staring at you and just hanging around in your general area. it's not that much of an irritant if you ignore all the weird emotions and thoughts it keeps bringing to the forefront of your mind, forcing you to once again try and meddle with your memories.

-eventually he just starts walking over to you and sitting down next to you. sometimes he doesn't say anything at all, just sitting there and seeming to wait for one thing another- he never seems to find whatever that is, as he always gets up and leaves without a word at some point or another. then they start talking, its just little things at first, point-blank statements you can't say much on. sometimes they're just saying they and the other three will be gone for a bit othertimes it's some half-demand to let them look at the stitches they did on you (semi-related, he's not good at them. the stitches are pretty rough. at one point or another sanford has to redo them properly lmao)

-but then there's one particular night. they do the normal thing, come over, sit down next to you, not say a word. this time though you note how they're facing you. instead of some reminder or a demand for anything, he's pulling his ask down and asking a simple question. 'What do you remember?'

-it's a long conversation. he's talking more than he normally would by a long shot, occasionally stopping whenever his words seem to especially fail him and get stuck in his throat. you don't even really remember moving around, or even him pulling you in any way, you just know you somehow end up laying next to him with your head on his chest.

-whenever the memories do seem to click into place, it's hard. you have a lot of choice words for them yourself, months of being left alone without a word bubbling up with a vengeance, they listen to them. while some mags (such as yourself) do have the ability to speak, the san and dei don't think they've ever heard one with that much emotion in their voice. they've especially never seen a mag just break down like you do, they're both tensing up a little from their far away spot when hank's walking closer to you. instead of you lashing out or swiping at him though, you just sit there while he wraps his arms around you (as best as he can at least, it's a little difficult but he's able to get them around your neck and reach his other hand behind you well enough). you're eventually doing the same to him, though it's more so just your hands resting on their back.

-it takes a good while for proper trust to be rebuilt along with an honest, proper explanation from hank that only you're privy to. eventually though, there's enough trust that you're able to hang around him again without narrowly avoiding an argument or anything. they don't like being super affectionate or 'vulnerable' in front of the other two, so most times they prefer being in your or their room. also they're still touchy lmao, doesn't help that you're mag sized now and so they just want to hold you . its hard to explain, he's never been super affected by others heights and even when he is it's usually a negative thing for him but . for some reason . he just likes being shorter / smaller than you lol ,,,,,,,, hope you like holding them a lot bc that's what you're gonna be doing

-holy shit these are long so . i think .i am going to stop here.

#hank j wimbleton x reader #madcom x reader #madness combat x reader #madcom imagines #madness combat imagines #rot writes #hank 'jmy s/o is twice my size and could turn me into a fine wine if they really wanted to and i love them for it' wimbleton

[thepilotanon]

bro could i request a hc for Loki supporting an s/o with tics 👉👈? like maybe reassuring them that their tics don't make them any "less than", comforting and getting them stuff to help with the pain when motor tics make their muscles super sore, cuddling after a tic attack when s/o is just exhastued, or whatever u want to do im not picky lol. i just developed a pretty bad motor tic thats been off the shits lately and people are being Weird about it so i thought loki might be able to help me out. your blog is awesome btw i love it so much!!!

Bruh, I know the feeling of having random tics or having a habit to stim and getting weird looks from people (I know they're different to others but, from experiences and stories, they fall to similar "issues" with the outside world). This isn't a type of medical condition that I would deny writing about, because I know that anyone can get them; I'm still going to put it under cut, since there may be people who might not feel comfortable thinking about their tics/stimming.

Depending on your tic or stim technique, it's just pretty common to obtain a pinched nerve, soreness, broken skin or making your skin raw, and Loki takes that as a form of injury and will treat it as such. He understands that some of the ways are harmful for you, but you can't easily just "poof" it away as many people assume/tell you to. Instead of telling you to stop, or scold you for the behavior, he's very gentle in tending to the cuts/bites/scratches with his magic, or use his hands to warm/cool against your sore spots and kiss your head. Especially after a bad episode, he has no problem taking you away from the world for a little bit and help you calm down and feel safe to relax.

I think it's safe to say that plenty of us who have tics or stimming habits will get a weird looks from people, even when it has nothing to do with the other person. While most of us has been raised to "ignore" or "take others into consideration" of our actions, Loki gets protective over your wellbeing when he sees other people staring. Now, no one has the right or honor of knowing your condition, and if you're fine with attempting to keep to yourself, that's acceptable - Loki will respect your wishes, but will shoot the stranger a deadly look for daring to try and judge another over something that's truly none of their business.

Loki goes on to remind you that, while you have this one thing that may set you apart from others, you're still valid to your feelings and how you matter to the world and those who care and love you. He doesn't see you as anything less - because, really, you're not less of anything than human and living - and brings up the talents and excellence you have that others struggle with. Uniqueness is what makes you one of a kind from others. Even if it's something that others might not understand or respect, you're still important and you matter.

Those really, really hard days, when everything inside just hurts and you need to take time to put yourself back together, Loki has no problem being at your side while you do so. Should you need him to do anything, he has no problem helping you out. He doesn't push himself onto you, nor does he try to put himself in your shoes and tell you how to feel about your condition, but he will list the ways how much he loves you and feels the peace coming to you when it's just the two of you hidden away for a little while.

#headcanon #loki x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #marvel loki x reader #pilotanonwrites

[karanoid]

about top joe discord

LET ME ADDRESS A FEW POINTS:

There has been many fear and anxiety regardless the top!joe discord I made. I understand how it gives my discord a bad reputation. Somebody has kindly reached out to me to ask me addressing several points, which I’m now gonna clarify:

1. I am racist, I asked why, and they said mostly because of my dismissive behavior to people who called me out for drawing yusuf adorned in gold jewelry which made their friends feel unsafe. So, I am a muslim and was raised in a muslim household and community. I am fucking brown.

I didn’t say it because you don’t need to know that about me. What bothers me is how some people feel the need to come to my inbox informing me “maam yusuf is a religious muslim who prays 5 times a day and do all the supplementary prayers all while he drinks alcohol and fuck nicky in the dailies, he wouldnt be wearing gold maam no maam.” as if I didn’t know any better. so please, now don’t do that. If you care so much about the littlest details like wearing gold then you’ll also call out yusuf because he draws living beings and drinks champagne. yes it’s true muslim men are forbidden from wearing gold AND silk but let’s not forget, nothing in the comic and movies imply yusuf has ever been religious. It’s easier to see nicolo as religious because he was a fucking priest. Yusuf was a fucking merchant, it’s easy to see that he’d be less faithful because he would have been travelling and seen many kind of people to broaden his horizons and not contained to a little bubble of hyper religious community. However, let me remind you: whether yusuf AND nicolo are religious or not is entirely UP TO THE AUTHOR/ARTIST. It’s totally fine to make him religious and if you can respect it THATS GREAT, I ALSO LIKE HIM THAT WAY, but please remember it’s not even canon and hey sometimes I just draw things because I like the aesthetics. Also please, do not harass writers for getting a thing or two incorrect, even white people cannot get christianity correct, even between two muslims could be a disagreement whether this fic’s yusuf is problematic or not. I wouldn’t even expect anything more and THAT’S OKAY. Just don’t be an ass to muslims of color in real life and don’t fall into the believe that it’s a religion of violence. you can say that greg made him that way bc he knew nothing better but hey, I have no problem with that. again, it’s fine to make him religious, I’d be delighted but it’s ALSO fine to make him not religious.

2. I think that people only write Top!Nicky out of political correctness. OKAY. I apologize for this. I thought like this because I have accounts telling me that they were pressured into writing top!nicky or they wanted more readerships so I make a BIG assumption. I realized this is only a small part of switch and top!nicky fics and the big bulk of this must be out of genuine care. So yeah, I apologize for thinking that people only write top!nicky out of political correctness. I think writers should be allowed to write whatever they want. Yes this includes top!Nicky. And in whatever kinks they want it. However, this still doesn’t change that the discourses do scare people away from writing top!joe. Write top!nicky however you want, but stop vague-blogging about top!joe. racism isn’t inherent to top!joe and you can always remind people to be mindful with their writings but discouraging people from writing top!joe is not the solution. 

3. Top!joe is racist and people in the discord are racist. Okay, I am gonna touch several aspects why top!joe discord is considered racist: (1) because I don’t like to switch them, therefore I am racist. Sorry that’s not how it works. I have a clear preference and that’s just how I roll. Besides, a lot of people in the discord (including me) think either they switch (because they are 900 yo) or joe just doesn’t like bottoming. I’m not the kind of people who refers to reality for fiction I consume but people who prefer to top or to bottom exist (2) i want to be away from accountability and responsibility. Nope. The reason I made it is because I wanted to gather people with same interest as mine. 

4. I paint Yusuf as aggressive and the whole discord like him being an aggressive top. I think this is the only reason why the discord is seen in a negative light. Because wow what a coincidence that someone vagueblogged my discord at the day I celebrated about Nicky suggesting 20 years and wrote a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry. And beside someone made the WRONG assumption that we are focusing on Joe’s anger and violence (what). Okay, I don’t know how to break this down. But I will try. First, yes I was overjoyed at the news. Because I’m one of the people that do not like feral!nicky headcanon. I liked it at first bc it was funny but then it was twisted into Nicky being cold. So I don’t like it (lol), I still like it though but like I don’t seriously think that way. However, I never liked the idea that Nicky suggested higher than Joe. Because then his character just doesn’t click with me, there was a cognitive dissonance for me because joe clearly says nicky’s heart overflows kindness, you can see nicky as a medic in the credit montage. Also, from their body language and from the way the movie set em up, I think Joe is the one who suggested higher and I am glad to be proven right. Second, I did write a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry at Booker. People agreed with me, so I was not alone. But the reason I wrote that post is not because I wanted to paint yusuf as aggressive, but because I’m tired at people who think Joe shouldn’t display any negative emotions. I think it’s out of character. I do NOT think Joe is aggressive. That is NOT his wholeass personality. If you looked at my tog art tag, never once I portrayed Joe as anything aggressive. If I do, please show me. Third, people are conflating this with my post where I reblogged with a comment that implies aggressive Joe isn’t racism. Okay in this, the context is IN BED. It’s Joe being aggressive in BED. It’s literally BED ROLES AND FANTASY. I don’t even have a particular scenario in my head when I reblogged that, the original post clearly refers to bed roles with manhandling and kinks etc. like, why would you spank someone in public? Lastly, about the discord, NOPE, most people in the discord agree that Joe is either a GENTLE DOM or SERVICE TOP. But in my opinion, if someone likes Joe as an aggressive top (again, bed roles baby) I really don’t think it’s racism. It’s just... projection? 

anyway, back to joe’s emotions, these are posts from a moroccan man (paragraph #7) and a brown woman whose posts I agree with. Let’s be real, people of color are expected to shut up in favor of white people’s fragile feelings.

Now, about racism in fandom. I understand the concern because muslim men are painted as violent and aggressive. You know what I will never forgive those radicals for taking away innocents lives and to leave a lasting damage in how muslims are perceived in the west. However, you have to keep in mind, Joe in the movie is far from being stereotyped. I mean, Gina and Marwan practically greenlit him? Now, you might have concerns that writers are gonna turn him into a walking stereotype which is... okay, I understand that concern. But the solution is to communicate this ‘hey I think you make him too stereotypical in this etc etc’ not “write more top!nicky AND shame top!joe” because again, top!joe is not inherently racist.

also some people mentioned that they hope I recognize racial bias in the ship. dude, that goes without saying, all aspects of your life will be influenced by racial biases. however, this kind of thing is not specific to fandom/shipping. Like I said I’m fucking brown, friends and families with facial features that cater to white expectation are treated better. I did say at the bottom of this post, yeah I did notice why it’s always a brown character who’s always openly mad. And that’s in itself a form of racial bias. Racial biases affect everyone, white or POC, it doesn’t matter. But I got an issue with how people think this is racism. like how convenient, if by falling to racial biases mean you are a racist then what about those white people who created this racial biases in the first place? and I noticed the persons who got the audacity to cry about everything in this fandom is white?? I mean okay, they don’t know what I am, but not everyone is comfortable with sharing their private information like ethnic group, faith, etc. what if they really don’t want to share it? Because like you said, racial bias, whether good or bad will affect me. Now, I don’t know what white people are feeling, I’m not white. However, based on my interactions with them. We’re all just people sharing same interest, it could be they fall into racial biases, but all we shared about are just regular HCs. Even people making a conscious effort to combat racial bias still in essence fall for racial bias. You just cannot escape it.

According to this post, fandom assumes that the bottom is the proxy of writers, I don’t think this is applicable to everyone but let’s just say it’s true and people tend to write about their projection better so I’m gonna assume the racism part comes from the fact that..yeah I do think the bottom usually gets more fleshed out as a result of them being the writers proxy, so somebody posted this in the discord which I agree because yes I do think there’s a lack about yusuf’s background especially when it comes to crusade era:

but since I know most writers aren’t muslims, to me it’s not so much about racism but they simply know nothing about it, and not always out of ignorance either but in this climate, if you get a thing or two wrong you’d get harassed. so *shrugs* I understand the reluctancy. But here’s the thing, this is not about top/bottom issue but because most of the fandom are white so they have more freedom in writing the white character. Anyway, plenty of people have projected themselves into yusuf already, the whole “top/bottom” thing in this fandom is not even a thing. Yes, some writers project on the bottom so if you prefer bottom!joe that’s fine, somebody in the discord is doing a research and it turned out top!joe wasn’t even a CLEAR majority in JULY. So clearly they got their share already?

so please, let’s stop with the vitriol. if people are preferring top!joe it’s clearly because of different preferences. it’s not that deep. it’s the same way with how some people are preferring top!nicky. But we’re being driven out based on a hypothetical scenarios? like what do you want? for us to cease existing??? don’t be ridiculous.

I know people won’t listen to me. So this is my suggestion: LETS JUST IGNORE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE. LET’S ALL JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE. 

#discourse #the old guard #joe x nicky #kaysanova #immortal husbands

[phoneybeatlemania-bit-the-dust]

I’d disagree with the anon that Paul was “incapable” of love, but I do agree he was very distanced, and pretty cruel (to women) when he was younger. (It was unfortunate they bought into the love at first sight myth, but he was also a charmer, and dropped affection and got colder after fucking them.)

But I just can’t see romantic interest on Paul’s end. I’m sure he loved John, but a lot of the “sexual/Romantic evidence” really can just be as construed as platonic love. I feel there may be some confirmation bias looking for “clues”. (Not an attack on anyone, but some of the analysises seem to try too hard, really).

He does make references, with the whole “calling him babe during concerts”, and “in bed” but that could just mean he’s not uncomfortable with coming off “gay”. He has a quote about it somewhere I think. He’s supportive of the community at any rate.

This is kind of my own bias, but at times I think he…plays it up a little during the present day? Again, I’m positive he did love John a lot, but with how he is, a charmer, good at manipulating his image, he knows there is a benefit to building up the “magical” Lennon McCartney dynamic. John’s dead, and the old conflicts have faded, so he has no reason not to. I don’t think he’s anti-social, or a psycho or anything, but he certainly does put a lot of thought into his image, especially now, with how he wants to leave his legacy.

I’m less knowledgeable about John, and the speculation about his mental illnesses, but on his end, I can certainly see it. Maybe he’s just blind, but the looks are very much…yeah. He does seem to rely Paul a lot, and hold him in very high regard (REGARDLESS of what those old male biographers might make of him). You just know he was suffering over Paul, poor bastard.

Not sure if anything happened. I think Paul knew though, and either ignored it, or was kind, knowing John wouldn’t act on it. OR he didn’t notice! With the whole “we shared beds A LOT. you would think he’d make a pass at me, darling~”

I guess that’s how I see it. I don’t really have strong feelings on the nature of their relationship, or want them to be “confirmed”, so I try to be as objective as possible! Not a shipper, but not a male biographer. In fact, I was very put off learning the ship was a thing at first! With every fan base “having to” ship the main male leads, that’s what I thought this was. But after three years, reading actual books, primary stuff, I’ve began to change my mind on its legitimacy, and this was my conclusion. But new information can always change!

(Sorry for the long long analysis, god! I just took my adderall and I should go eat! Feel free to block me for spam/harassment.)

Yeah, this is basically my big mclennon dilemma: did Paul love John?

Of course he loved him, but I mean did he harbour any homosexual feelings towards John - and I just go back and fourth on that a lot.

In my last response to an anon I wasn’t necessarily trying to argue that Paul was romantically/sexually attached to John, because all in all, I don’t believe he did - but it probably came off that way because I didn’t particularly like the way the anon had phrased some stuff (like calling him “a master manipulator” and “incapable of love”) and so I just sort of wanted to show that the relationship was more nuanced then just “john was simping for paul”. My overall point with that response was more so that whilst I think Paul struggles in showing real affection and emotions, I don’t think he was incapable of love prior to Linda. I think he did really love John (in whichever form of love you want to take it: romantically, platonically etc.)

And so my point I guess wasnt so much that Paul was always capable of love (because I think he did at least love his family, his close-friends, probably Jane etc.), but maybe more so that he was always capable of intimacy with another person, though he struggled with it.

But yeah, he was quite cruel to a lot of the girls he slept with in the 60s, but I wouldn’t say that suggests he was incapable of love (i know thats not what you’re saying but other people might interpret it through that lens) I would just say he was young, dumb, ridiculously rich and famous and not emotionally mature enough yet to really empathise with most of those girls. Not trying to completely excuse him, but like, i dunno, i always just try to view people from the most human perspective. Everyones an twat sometimes yknow

I also really struggle to see romance on Pauls behalf towards John - the only times I think “wait but maybe he did fancy john back” is when I read some of his lyrics (like in ‘Coming Up’, ‘Yvonne’s The One’, and to some extent ‘Here Today’ - though I think interpreting Here Today as strictly platonic love is still a valid interpretation). I mentioned this in a different post though, that analysing his lyrics just isnt particularly convincing for me, because it feels more like speculation - and also as someone who does write songs, I know that a lot of lyrics just arent as deep as we wish they were. It is really difficult to be truly introspective and honest in a song, without exaggerating or hyperbolising or fictionalising any autobiographical aspects.

I do see your point with Paul possibly playing up the “Lennon/McCartney m a g i c” - im not entirely sure how much I agree, but I do agree to some extent. I think he’s always been very image conscious, and being in what is probably the all-time most famous pop band definitely wouldve heightened that. Even as a teenager I think he’s always just had this natural charm about him, and that tends to stem I guess from a need to be liked; I think you can see it in every interview he’s ever done to be honest. Its not necessarily a bad thing, (because id take a charmer over a rude knobhead any day) but I guess it sort of just shows that Paul is flawed like everybody else. Also, just read @mothernatures-sons tags and I agree with her - Paul just knows when to be a nice person! Nothing wrong with that! It isnt manipulative like the last anon suggested, its just how most people are: polite :) Ive heard a lot of anecdotes from people who have worked with or met Paul and the majority of them say he was a just a nice guy. Not saying he was never an arsehole (cause yeah he was pretty cruel to those girls in the 60s) but I think overall, hes a pretty good guy 👍

On the other hand though, you could also say that superficial journalists are looking for superficial answers - and Paul knows what the people want to hear. But occasionally ill hear an interview that does seem more intimate then most - I havent listened to it in awhile, but the interview he did with Sean I remember felt more honest to me then most. And when he said he’d like to spend the day “in bed” with John, to me that felt like a genuine and fitting response. Because, whilst it has sexual connotations, it also just feels like he’s saying he’d just like to sit around, chat, dont chat, just whatever with John for a day. Like he would just like another moment of intimacy with him.

I think we are pretty much in agreement on most of this though! At first I was also like “nah, mclennon isnt real, teenage girls just love shipping guys!” (I am a teenaged girl and I can confirm this lol) but then it just sort of became apparent to me through reading more and more about their relationship that there probably was something more on Johns behalf. If John wasnt in love with Paul, then it feels as though a lot of things he said and did just dont add up (the big one for me is him marrying Yoko so soon after Paul married Linda - like I really cannot come up with a heterosexual explanation for that!)

But when it comes to Paul, though ill have moments of doubt, I dont think he was in love with John (homosexually) and I do think a lot of the evidence on Pauls behalf seems like a stretch (but like you, im not having a go at anyone, because I understand that it is easy to carried away, plus its fun - but realistically, most of Pauls evidence just is not convincing to me). He’s comfortable with his sexuality, and I really do try to respect that and not force a gay interpretation of quotes or songs from him, unless it is genuinely making me question his sexuality and mclennon.

PS dont worry, I didn’t take this is spam at all!! And also, I would never block someone just for disagreeing with me! I enjoy discussion and I think its good to engage with people who disagree with you! To be honest, id only block someone if they were purposely being a real arsehole <3

#mclennon #discussion