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fakegingerrights · 11 months

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Walk By Faith (2)

[TW: Medical Checks, Seizures.]

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He woke up to light.

Crosshair blinked his eyes open to a blurry mess of light and shadows, all the shapes indistinguishable from each other.

Sight was both a huge relief and a curse, a headache instantly building as he squinted and batted at the desk lamp until it turns off.

It wasn’t just his head. His whole body ached with a low thrum of pain. He stumbled out of his room, looking for the water that he had left out and downing it greedily.

“Morning sleepyhead. Or, Afternoon.” You said, glancing up from the kitchenette where you had a stool pulled up to the counter, he squinted in your direction in hopes to see better what you were doing. You sounded exhausted. Crosshair gave a grunt and placed a toothpick between his teeth.

“I have some commcalls to make. There’s a painstim on the counter if you need it. "

He huffed, chewing on the toothpick as you ducked into your room and shut the door behind you. The painstim sounded tempting, but if it was gonna knock him out again...

Bah, he wasn't allowed to do anything else as is, may as well.

Ignoring the slight dizziness that passed over him as he stood up, Crosshair stumbled to the counter and found the capped stim. Pulling the needle cover off, he gritted his teeth and jabbed himself, hitting the plunger. He swabbed the pinprick when he was done, rolling his neck against the stiffness that too many stims in the muscle tended to bring. Stalking back to the sofa, he flopped down. Failing to get comfortable, he slid down the seat to sit on the ground, leaning back.

His legs complained at the new position, his entire body stiff from laying down for so long. Slowly, Crosshair unfolded his legs and leaned into the stretch, hissing slightly. The physical strain, while not as good as a proper workout, felt nice after days of immobility. He breathed into the pull and sank until his nose was brushing his knee before switching sides.

The pain was nice as he tuned out your muffled voice through the flimsi-thin walls. It gave him a clarity and focus he often felt deprived of in the last few weeks. Once his legs had loosened, he swung his feet behind himself and planted his hands firmly on the rug, pushing back until his chest was parallel with the ceiling and his back clicked several times, making him huff in satisfaction. Sitting up properly, he went through his joints from his knuckles clear up to his shoulders and neck.

Finished with that, he tucked his feet under his hips and lay back down, sighing at the pull in his hamstrings. When that wasn't enough, he pushed his feet forward up past his hips. Tech always got on him for this, saying it was bad for his knees, but it was an effective stretch. Just as he relaxes into it, your conversation catches his attention.

"-would disobey direct orders?" A familiar voice came from the closed door of your room.

Rampart.

Crosshair moved closer to listen, cursing his unfocused vision as his foot caught on the edge of the carpet. He sighed and sat down just outside the door, on the ground.

"You are not at liberty to give me orders, Admiral." Your voice floated back, slightly muffled.

"I'm not? You are in possession of something of mine for the time being. Take much longer and I will begin to get impatient." Rampart's voice was as impassive as ever, but Crosshair knew better. He was pissed.

"Possession? No. I am in the service of the Kaminoans as a contract Optician. Crosshair is my patient. You are not at liberty to order me around, unless you've suddenly been granted a Kaminoan science degree while the Empire wasn't looking. And until I choose to release Crosshair, which will not happen until he has a clean bill of health, you may not issue orders to him either." Your voice is flat, the usual cheeriness or at least calm reassurance gone.

"Watch your tone, Doctor. Some might think you're threatening to withhold Empirical property." Rampart commented offhandedly. "I'd hate for your career to come to an untimely end, especially with your newest research grant in lens replacement, especially with how well your test run is working."

"Commander Crosshair is more than an experiment. If this is my 'test run' then it's a piss poor one. He already had near inhuman vision, this might slightly improve his sight, but this would be far better spent on people who actually need it?" You hiss slightly on the words, then take a deep breath to calm yourself.

Crosshair could almost imagine the muscle in your cheek twitching as you fought from ripping into the admiral. He had to shut that train of thought down before he chuckled and gave away his eavesdropping.

"You dare insult the Empire's generosity?" Rampart asked, a shade of amusement coloring his tone.

"Generosity is not the word I'd use for it. But because Mama raised me right, I know when to shut up and take what I'm given. And I will take. You've just admitted Crosshair is my trial run on my research. Empirical law on medical research, in Article 257, Paragraph 12, says that I am entitled to use my trial for the entirety of my experiment, if need be. Now, because I am generous, I'll give you back your Commander, once he has a clean bill of health and I am satisfied that I have gotten all the results I need."

A pang of betrayal tore through Crosshair. He really was just another experiment to you, wasn't he. That's all he ever was.

"Doctor-"

"If you'll excuse me, Admiral, my Test Run is waiting. Good day."

"... Good day, Doctor."

There was a sound of the holoprojector powering down, and Crosshair scrambled back to the couch, leaning back and throwing an ankle over his knee.

You sighed, scrubbing at your face tiredly as you stepped out of your room. You paused in the doorway, glancing at something on the floor he couldn't make out.

"You left the corner of the carpet flipped up." You grunted, kicking it flat as you exited your room. "That... went better than I was hoping."

Crosshair grunted in response, chewing on his toothpick as the headache slowly started to fade as the stim kicked in.

"Only because Rampart screwed up though. I guess taking medilaw was a useful elective. You took a painkiller?"

Another grunt. You sighed, throwing the used stim in the trash. "I'd hoped for better... How are your eyes?"

“Kriff off.” He ground out. “Unless you’re gonna force some eyedrops or something into them.” You sighed and glanced at your mess of paperwork.

“No. I’m trying to get the proper permissions so we can take a look at your head. That episode last night was terrifying.”

Crosshair glared. “I’m not letting the long necks poke around my head. They screw with my eyes enough. You screwed with my eyes enough.”

“Crosshair, if these keep getting worse then you pose a danger to yourself and others.” You chastise. “Hungry?”

“No.” He bit out, closing his eyes and snarling slightly. “Where’s the eyedrops?”

“On the table in front of you. You need a hand or-“

“I’ve got it.” He snarled, grabbing the small white bottle and fumbling with the cap, then putting two drops in his eyes and hissing in irritation at the itch.

"Grab another glass of water once those have settled. You're dehydrated." You call over your shoulder. Crosshair just flips you a rude gesture.

He did, to his credit, refill the glass at the sink and go back to sulking on the sofa, sipping it slowly. He stuck a fresh toothpick in his mouth to gnaw at as the headache slowly faded into a dull buzz in his skull, spitting out the old one chewed to woody fibers.

"I'm taking you down to do a level five scan of your head, no Kaminoans present. Then hopefully we can get some answers."

"I don't care who is poking around my head, I'm not kriffing going." Cross sets the glass down harsher than he means, knocking it over and sending it spilling to the carpet below. "Kriffing-"

"Leave it, commander." Your voice is tired, even if he can't quite make out your face. "It's a non-invasive procedure. Just a scan. You don't even have to be asleep for it."

"I'm done with the kriffing tests! You and the rest of the doctors can go kiss a hutt for all I care, but I'm not going back in that lab. Ever."

"Unfortunately, Crosshair, you're not the one who gets to make that decision, as long as you're under my care." He watches your blurry form approach with a glare. "I am not your enemy here. You're in pain. Something is karked up enough in that head of yours that you are receiving enough of a constant low level exposure to electricity the very atoms in your bloodstream are falling apart."

"You're just another doctor. You're the reason they changed the lenses in my eyes. You're the reason right now that I can't kriffing see." He spits right back. "You will never know how terrifying it is, to be told that the only reason your creators bother keeping you alive is because of your eyes, because you can see everything, only for them to turn around and decide they're not good enough? That I have to stay blind and in pain for weeks and should be thankful that they're fixing the issue instead of outright decomming me? And then you more or less tell Rampart to shove it for what? So you can poke at me some more?"

A heavy silence follows his words, him glaring at you for all he's worth and you just watching him silently.

"You're right." Your words are soft, half a whisper. "I never will know. Right now, I'm doing my best to keep you out of Kaminoan... and Empirical, hands. You are my patient, my responsibility. I will stop at nothing to get you healthy and happy." You crouched and picked up the glass, handing it to him. "If it means this much to you, then I'll hold of on the scan for now. But if these episodes continue or get worse, I'm taking you down there and we're getting to the bottom of this."

Crosshair hugged, taking a step back. His knees hit the sofa and he sat down, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Whatever. I couldn't care less right now."

“Crosshair…” You trail off with a sigh, considering how to approach this. "You're not just an experiment to me, Crosshair." Your voice was softer now. "I hope you know that."

"That was some nasty piece of politicking." He eventually says, in lieu of an answer. "Last person to try and talk circles around Rampart got shot."

You snort. "Glad it was a holocall then." You pick up your bag and Crosshair stiffened, his posture going from carefully neutral to coiled tight to forcibly relaxed in the span of a second. "I know, I know. I really need to do this, though, and make sure nothing's wrong. You have some vision back, so I have to do this now that your eyes will react to light."

"Who's it going to?" His voice grated slightly.

"Pardon?"

"You're going to write everything down, who's it going to?" He folded his hands behind his head, normally a gesture to show surrender, but for him it hid the sudden tremors in his fingertips.

You gave Crosshair a small smile, coming into a better range of focus with a bag of instruments at your side.

"Usually, it goes to the head researcher. So, me. The empire will have no access to it, if that's what you're worried about. Neither will the Kaminoans, unless they go through a painfully long legal process and get your written consent." You sat across from him, spraying sterilizing mist on your hands.

"I'm a product. They can do what they want with me." His bitterness hit close to home. You managed a small smile.

"Not for this. Not when you're under me. You're listed as a patient, not a piece of equipment." You sprayed the sterile spray into a rag you just broke the seal on and sat closer to Crosshair, knees almost touching.

"... Alright." The word was softer than you expected.

"Ok, this should go pretty quick, ok? But if you need a break, tell me." You carefully began to brush the antibacterial spray across his face. Crosshair goes stone-still, chomping down on his toothpick so hard he was surprised it didn't snap as his mind dissolved into static, a mess of everything too much and memories of being tied down, too bright lights, the maker-awful pressure wash on his eyes as they-

"Crosshair. Breath." Your firm voice came as a jolt. "You know how I'm gonna do this, why don't you walk me through it. What comes after sterilization of the surrounding area?"

"Uh." He mumbled intelligently, focusing on the procedure. "The light."

"Good." You pulled the flashlight out of your bag, gently pinning his eyelid open on the left side and letting the sensor lock onto his pupil, flashing the tiny screen green when it was good to go. "Ok, flash in 1... 2... 3-" The flashlight went off, measuring how fast his pupil reacted to the light before returning to normal. You let out a low whistle as the numbers flashed, jotting them down on a scrap of flimsi. "You really are incredible. Even just out of surgery, you beat out most human reaction speeds."

Crosshair let out a long breath he hadn't known he'd been holding as you moved to the other eye. He didn't flinch, he wouldn't flinch. The flash went off again and he sucked in a breath.

"Ok, ok. That part's done. What comes next?" Your voice was placating, gentle.

"The air." He managed, his voice strained as his heart rate ticked up another notch.

"Excellent." You murmured, switching instruments and pretending not to notice the hitch in Crosshair's breathing or the thick swallow. This was a bad one, then. "Can you tell me what it measures?" You set it right against the bottom part of his eye, against his cheekbone.

"How fast I can blink." Crosshair switched to counting out his breathing, following the same pattern as the one you had used the night before.

"Do you want a countdown?"

"No." He rasped. "Just... Just get this over with." The puff of air hit his eye just as he finished his sentence and he flinched violently, snapping his head to the side. Thankfully, you still got the reading.

"One more. Gotta get the other one now." You set the instrument against his cheek at he went completely taunt, every muscle ready to flee. The flinch came again with the puff of air, along with a strangled gasp. Once the reading flashed, it was quickly pulled away from his face.

"There you go, it's done." You sat back, giving him a break. Crosshair closed his eyes and leaned back, swallowing around the ball in his throat that he wasn't totally sure wasn't his heart as it showed no signs of slowing down, hammering against his chest. The sofa shifted as you stood, grabbing his forgotten glass and refilling it, along with retrieving something from a cabinet.

"Here." You murmured, pressing the water into a lightly trembling hand. "Let's take a small break. We still got the worst part to tackle. Then it's just the stupid easy stuff. I'll be done messing with your eyes."

Crosshair sipped at the water as you set the second object, a ration bar, in his lap.

Yellow, Hunter's favorite.

He nibbled at it as you dug through your bag. He froze at what you pulled out.

"No." He ground out. "Not that."

You paused, setting the instrument next to you as you checked the battery on it. "It's alright, Commander. I know you hate this part, it's not pleasant. Tell you what, I'll let you make the choice. Now, and get it over with, or we can do the more non-invasive tests before we take a look at the surgery flap and test eye pressure."

Crosshair knew he should get it over with, but he could hardly catch his breath as it was. "Anything else first." He spat. You nodded, as if he had said the most obvious thing in the world.

"Ok then." You moved to sit in front of him, holding up a finger. "Without turning your head, I want you to follow my finger." Crosshair tracked your finger as you swept it across his vision, clear out past his periphery. "Good. Other side?" You repeated the motion across the other side of his head.

"Any discomfort?" You ask, jotting something down on that blasted flimsi scrap. Crosshair shook his head. "Good. I'm going to move a bit farther out now. Keep your eyes facing ahead and tell me when you can no longer see my finger." You swept your finger out to the left until he stopped you, then the right, then up, then down.

"Excellent. Ok, let's cover one eye?" You left the sofa and grabbed your holoprojector, setting it on the counter and pulling up an image of an aurabesh letter chart. "What's the lowest line you can read clearly from there?" Even at a mere ten paces away, he could only get to the third line.

"Auruk, Peth, Forn, ..." He squinted. "Orenth, Trill,"

"Very good. Other eye?" The image changed to a different set of letters. He tried the third, but it was a mess of lines and blur. Second it was, then. "Besh, Herf, Krill, Enth."

“Got it. Ok.” You powered down the hologram and stepped forward again, holding up your thumbs about two feet apart in front of you. “You can see my hands?”

“Not really.” He mumbled, and you stepped a little closer.

“It’s alright. Now?” You waited for his faint nod. “Got it. I want you to look back and forth between my hands as fast as you can while I count to ten.” As you counted off, you kept track of how fast Crosshair could move his eyes.

“Good. Any discomfort?”

“…” He pressed his lips together. “A little.” He admitted at last. “When I look up.”

“Sharp pain or just pressure?” You sat back down next to him. Crosshair pursed his lips, a mix between a frown and a grimace.

“Pressure.”

You nodded. “That’s normal. Ok, you ready for the hard bit? I’m going to do both eyes at once, ok?”

Crosshair goes deathly pale. "Get it over with."

The instrument was simple, meant to measure the pressure of the eye. The problem was, it had to touch the surface of the eye. You went fast, barely waiting to get a reading before moving the instrument away from his eyes. As soon as you were done he ripped himself away and shut his eyes tight, unshed tears being squeezed out and tracking down his cheeks as he fought to get his breathing under control.

"Crosshair." You keep your voice low and soft, gently nudging his hands down before he can rub at his eyes. He snarls slightly.

"Didn't you learn last time not to kriffing touch me?" He glares at your bandaged hand for emphasis.

"I'm not afraid of you." You reply.

"You should be. I am not a good person." The distraction is working, slowly. Crosshair's form was still tense, angry lines and hard angles.

"I've faced worse." Came your stout reply as he squinted in your direction in an attempt to get his blurry sight into focus. "You weren't scary last night."

Last night he had been... vulnerable. Too many emotions, too many memories that came from his sightlessness. He was stronger, he was a clone. "Last night was different. I didn't have a choice to trust you."

"I'm sorry." You sit next to hin, pulling your knees to your chest. "For what I said earlier. About your voice not mattering. I lost my temper."

Crosshair snorted derisively. "That was losing your temper? You need to get out more." his tone is tired, but it's lost some of the heaviness.

"What, you planning to take me?" It comes out more bitter than joking. "I have work. I always do. Right now, it's keeping you out of empire hands until you've healed." Crosshair crunches down on the toothpick in his mouth, making a face as it splits down the middle. He takes it out and flicks it off to the side.

"The Empire isn't some monster you need to save me from. I made my choice." There's a steel note in his voice and you back off a bit.

"The Empire treats you like property. They want you fixed up and ready to go back on the frontlines with hardly enough time to heal. And since it rose, you've lost weight. You've developed a slight anemia. You look like you hardly sleep. That... it isn't healthy." You don't look at him, unfolding your legs to sit crosslegged and staring straight ahead.

"I am property." He grunts, nibbling at his ration bar.

"......." You don't say anything for a long moment. "Droids are property. Animals, are property. You are not. None of your brothers are either."

If Crosshair was caught off guard by your sentiments, he didn't let it show on his face. He studied your side profile with a slight squint, as if trying to see inside your head and unspool your thoughts out for him to read.

“Why are you kind to me?” He asked after a long pause. “I’m not made for gentle things.”

You hesitated, then shifted closer so that your knees touched his. He stiffened but held his position in the end, accepting your silent olive branch “You’re my patient, Cross. It's my job to care for you.” He stiffened slightly. “A job I enjoy. You’re grumpy, yes, but you are much more than your armor. So much more than a pair of eyes.”

“Cross?” His voice is tired. So tired.

“Is that alright? To shorten your name?” You asked. Crosshair was silent for a long moment.

“It’s what my vod-… my squad, before they went AWOL. They called me that. I haven’t heard it in a long time.” He winced and put a hand to the side of his head, blinking a few times to try and get his fuzzy vision into focus.

“Is it alright to call you that?” You asked again. After a long moment, Crosshair nodded. He shut his eyes tight against the growing migraine as static began to crackle in his ears.

“Cross?”

“How long has it been since your commcall?” He grunted.

“Almost two hours. Are you alright?”

“Headache.” He grunted. “Already took a stim.”

“Water? And you still need to finish your ration.” You went to refill his half empty cup. You only look back when a loud thump of something hitting the ground caught your attention.

Crosshair was sprawled on the floor by the couch. You set the glass down sharply and slid on your knees the last foot or so as you turned him on his side. His breathing was shallow and fast, eyelids fluttering to reveal only the whites.

“Hey, Commander!” You patted his cheek in what felt like a pathetic attempt to rouse him. Nothing.

Then the silence snapped into motion as Crosshair’s spine arched and his limbs went rigid, full body spasms shaking his thin frame. Cursing, you slid under his head and held his head and shoulders steady with an arm across his chest as you yank your commlink off your belt and punch in the frequency of the infirmary with hands only steady after years of training.

“Hey! This is the optician assigned to the long term care of CC 9904. I need a gurney down here stat and an emergency exam room prepped,” You hoped the authoritative anger hid the fear in your voice. “Now.”

[A/N: Wow. I was genuinely not expecting this to completely blow up like it did. Holy Smokestacks. Uh... I guess updated taglist:

@the-hexfiles @moon-wrecked @stunkbiggu @urfriendlyneighbornightfury @anotherschuylersister @endo-bunny @renon4224 @tecker @rinwritesfics ]

#soft crosshair #the bad batch #tbb crosshair #crosshair x reader #tbb crosshair x reader #crosshair imagine #tbb crosshair imagine #hurt/comfort #crosshair #Walk By Faith #GingerWrites

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descendants-brat · 3 months

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A parallel to me:

6X01 of Peaky blinders: the beginning scene where Lizzie gives Tommy the six bullets after he pulled the trigger attempting suicide

6X02: In the beginning (first six minutes) she's concerned for him when he's having a seizure, instantly rushes to his side and aids him afterwards.

I feel like this happens a few times in season 6, we see Lizzie's anger and frustration towards Tommy but then we ultimately see that she cares for him. ( this goes without saying but to address it fully: I think we all know it wasn't a good idea to give someone who attempted suicide by gunshot wound, six bullets ) In the first scene Lizzie is angry and disappointed that she knows that in that moment, for a fact Tommy was willing to die and leave them behind, without even saying goodbye. So she drops these bullets on him, as if fine, you want to go, go, why should I care? But in the beginning scene in episode two her behavior completely contradicts this when she is so concerned for him another showing of how complicated their relationship was.

#peaky blinders #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #lizzie stark #lizzie shelby #tommy x lizzie

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chidoroki · 8 months

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182 Days of TPN - Day 145

Chapter 145: "Respective Reasons"

Ah, right, the Tifari event is also another reason why Norman is being hasty with his plan since it has a set date. Unfortunately for you guys, even being a couple minutes late will still be considered too late if all the royals are dead.

It's one thing when Emma thinks recklessly, but it's another thing entirely if Ray begins to suggest similar ideas. That's when ya know the situation is serious. C'mon y'all, I know you're both determined but running for three days nonstop? That's some kinda Yuugo mentality (though he managed to run back to the shelter from GP in a day & a half).

Gillian is precious. I'm glad she & everyone else are on board to assist with Emma's plan. Well, they all weren't totally against it at the start, just hesitant and not truly convinced it'll work at least, but thankfully they're more open to support Emma than they all were originally. Also, she's got a horse patch on her jacket now so that's cute.

Oh Barbara, never change. Anyways, I still think this sudden jump from the Lambda crew out in the field to everyone else back in the base was so sudden and out of place. Always feels like there should be a missing page in between or something.

But it makes some sense as it hints to one of the real reasons Norman is rushing with his plan once the crew starts talking about their meds. (Not important, but I muss Paula very much. Still wish she got to take the trip to the capital alongside Oliver & Zack.)

I dunno about that first part, boss. Your subordinates sustain some pretty serious injuries in the upcoming fight. How they manage to survive is beyond me.

Ehh, I'd be so grossed out by this. The poor guy. He's trying so hard to be strong for everyone else when he's falling apart the same way. The worst part about is that none of the crew knows he's also getting hit with these seizures. He's truly suffering alone and it's upsetting.

Nah but for real, where are you getting all these explosives to blow everything up sir? I do enjoy how this chapter parallels ch34 & ch181.5 though with each member of the fullscore trio saying "Let's begin."

Favorite panel/moment:

GP kiddos always manage to bring a smile to my face. I missed them.

#the promised neverland #tpn manga #182daysoftpn #chidoroki used chatter

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summarychannel · 5 months

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After Sisi's speech and the launch of the red line, Israel activates the war code and reveals a massacre threatening the Egyptian border

Updates on the Al-Aqsa Flood operation presented in this episode of Samri Channel. The beginning of the official launch of the humanitarian truce between Israel and the Islamic Resistance Movement Hamas, which is scheduled to continue for 4 days, during which hostages held in the Gaza Strip will be released in exchange for Palestinian detainees. This "humanitarian truce", which was mediated by Qatar, Egypt and the United States, came on the forty-ninth day of the war between Israel and Hamas. 50 hostages will be released in exchange for 150 Palestinian detainees in batches during the duration of the truce.

Aid flowing to the besieged Gaza Strip will also increase during the first truce since the beginning of the war that has been ongoing for nearly 7 weeks. The Israeli army escalated its targeting across the Strip a few hours before a temporary truce took effect in the Gaza Strip. Jabalia camp in the northern Gaza Strip, Nuseirat in the centre, and Khan Yunis and Rafah in the south witnessed intense bombardment, resulting in dozens of deaths and injuries, in addition to targeting several hospitals.

Meanwhile, on Friday, Israeli army spokesman Avichai Adraee sent a message to the residents of the Gaza Strip, saying: “The war is not over yet. The suspension of fire for humanitarian purposes comes temporarily.” The Israeli army spokesman pointed out that "the northern Gaza Strip area is a dangerous war zone and it is forbidden to move around it." He added: "For your safety, you must remain in the humanitarian zone in the south of the Strip." He continued: "It is only possible to move from the north of the Gaza Strip to the south via the Salah al-Din Road. The movement of residents from the south of the Gaza Strip to its north will not be allowed in any way."

In a parallel context, Egyptian President Abdel Fattah El-Sisi stressed that the forced displacement of Palestinians is a red line that Egypt does not accept and will not allow. He added in his speech at the “Long Live Egypt Conference” in Cairo Stadium, that if the Palestinians leave their lands, they will not return to them again, stressing that the Arab region is facing a grave crisis in addition to the threats it has been suffering from for decades, declaring that the Palestinian issue is facing an extremely dangerous and sensitive curve. In light of an uncalculated and inhumane escalation. Al-Sisi denounced the use of "the approach of collective punishment and committing massacres as a means of imposing a reality on the ground that leads to the liquidation of the Palestinian cause, the displacement of the Palestinian people, and the seizure of the land."

He also stressed that Egypt seeks to bring in the largest amounts of aid to alleviate the suffering of more than two million Palestinians under siege, stressing Egypt's keenness to carry out its responsibilities towards the Palestinians. He said that the Rafah crossing has never been closed and will not be closed to humanitarian aid entering the Gaza Strip. He added, "All Egyptians participated to alleviate the suffering of the Palestinians in Gaza, stressing that the work started by the volunteers is not finished, especially since there are 2.3 million Palestinian citizens under siege and in need of all relief materials and humanitarian aid, in light of the cuts in water, fuel, food, and medical supplies."

Finally, the Israeli military pilot, Nof Erez, said that it is possible that the Israeli army has implemented the “Hannibal Protocol,” which allows the killing of Israelis, during its response to the attack launched by the “Hamas” movement and the Palestinian resistance factions on October 7, 2023, against settlements. In the Gaza Strip.

“Hannibal” is a controversial military protocol, the use of which has been attributed to the Israeli army since its official adoption in 2006, and allows the lives of captured soldiers to be risked. It returned to the forefront again after Palestinian factions in Gaza captured dozens of Israeli soldiers, including high-ranking military personnel, in Operation “Al-Aqsa Flood” on July 7. October 2023.

In a statement to the Israeli newspaper "Haaretz", the pilot, Lieutenant Colonel Erez, indicated the possibility of his country's forces that intervened to deal with the Hamas attack implementing the "Hannibal Protocol", which the Israeli army uses to prevent the capture of its soldiers, even if it leads to their killing. Erez said that "it is not known whether the warplanes and drones fired on the hostages when responding to the attack by Hamas," but added: "It appears that the Hannibal Protocol was implemented at some point" on October 7. Erez explained, "When a situation of hostage-taking is discovered, this requires 'Hannibal', knowing that the Hannibal maneuvers that we conducted over the past twenty years were limited to one vehicle carrying hostages, but what we saw (October 7) is considered a large-scale Hannibal."

Israeli media report that Lieutenant Colonel Erez was dismissed on October 31, 2023, after criticizing Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, and the Israeli army announced that Erez was dismissed after expressing his opinion on “political issues” while on active duty. Erez's statements come after a Haaretz report showed, on Saturday, November 18, 2023, that an Israeli military helicopter opened fire on "Palestinian militants" and Israelis participating in a party organized near Kibbutz "Ra'im" on the outskirts of the Gaza Strip on October 7 last year.

#Egypt #Palestine #Gaza

#youtube

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mylittlewritingplace · 3 years

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Deltarune Theory Masterpost

I know I’m not a theory tumblr (or an anything tumblr? I just repost stuff) but I had some ideas and I just wanted them written down somewhere. If you have comments, I’d love to hear them.

Kris is not Us; we’re two people in one body

We control the heart at the end of Ch. 1

Voice at the beginning of the game puts Us into Kris’s body

I also think we’ve been put there specifically to counter the Knight

Narrator puts us into Kris’s body right after when the first fountain would have been made

The Narrator says “This is your body. Do you accept it?” and later says it will be discarded and that no one can choose who you are in this world. However, it doesn’t deny that it was you.

I wouldn’t be surprised if, like the ass-thrashing machine, your creation comes back later. Maybe we get our own body eventually?

The Narrator says “You accept the possibility of pain and seizure.” We experience this when Kris tears Us out of the body.

When Susie enters the Dark World, she becomes more purple (and gets to be a bit more honestly Susie), whereas our colors get inverted just like with Frisk and Chara

Kris’s name appears in the save file in ????????, but is overridden by us

If we were the same person, it could have been programmed to already say our name

Kris is the Knight/Knight’s Hand

Opens the fountains

Removes Us the night the Library Dark World is created

Removes Us before creating a dark fountain in our Home’s Living Room

When removing Us, his eye flashes with the star shape associated w/ Titans seen in the prophecy visions

Kris’s name appears in the save file in ????????, which would make sense if he created the fountain and went there

Rebuttal: Kris’s name should have appeared in the save file when we entered the Library Dark World

Counter: if Kris didn’t enter or save when they created the Library Dark World, then they wouldn’t have shown up at the save point.

Spamton keeps trying to sell us [hyperlink blocked]. I think it’s the Darkner equivalent of a soul, or maybe soul remnants.

“... NOW KRIS. DON'T BE GREEDY. HAND OVER. THE DISK. THEN WE WILL TRANSFER. MY [[Hyperlink Blocked]].“ This suggests that it’s his soul/essence.

Before the alleyway battle, he says this is our chance to be a big shot, and that the thing we need is [[Hyperlink blocked]].

The final deal in the alleyway battle is also a deal where we get the [Hyperlink blocked].

I’m not sure if it’s significant that there are different brackets on this one. It probably is.

During the Weird Route fight, he says we’ve been making [Hyperlink Blocked], and now that we have our own supply, we don’t need him

We’ve been killing Darkners, which might be the only way to collect their soul-equivalents the way getting a human soul requires killing the human.

He earlier promised “EVERY [Big], EVERY [Shot], EVERY [Hyperlink Blocked], ALL YOURS, KRIS.” Which I guess means he also planned on killing everyone.

Also does this mean that Spamton killed someone before? Idk and it’s off topic.

In the normal route NEO battle, Spamton wants our soul so he can become very very big and see into heaven. He also asks “KRIS, DON'T YOU WANNA BE [Part] OF MY BEAUTIFUL [Heart]?!“, All of this is a parallel to monsters in Undertale needing a human soul to pass through the Barrier

Jevil and Spamton are Titans

The hardest bosses in the game, which matches the power implied by “Titan”

During the Spamton NEO fight

Spamton knows about Heaven

Mentions it

In the shop, Spamton calls the machine in the basement a “HEAVEN-PIERCING [[Workout-Ready Body]]“

Weird Route battle: says “[4 left]”. Considering that there are 7 chapters, there are five chapters left. But according to the prophecy, the heroes rise only after the world dies. So it’s possible that there’s only four more fountains, and the final chapter occurs after the world dies and the three heroes rise. This seems like the kind of knowledge a Titan would have.

Or Spamton is just fourth-wall-breakingly crazy.

Or it’s a Titan thing. Seam says that Jevil went crazy after being contacted by “a strange someone”, and eventually started treating his world like a game. Spamton was also contacted by someone mysterious on the phone; it’s possible that they gained some meta knowledge from that person.

Both drop shadow crystals --> connected

Matches with the Roaring vision imagery:

One per dark fountain

Star shapes (Jevil’s eyes; the wings on Spamton NEO’s new body)

Were contacted by a mysterious entity, which changed them

Maybe titans are created?

Spamton mentions a “clown” a few times, which might be a reference to Jevil

Spamton says “SOON I'LL EVEN SURPASS THAT DAMNED [[Clown Around Town!]] BUT UNLIKE HIM I'M GONNA [[Shoot For the Sky!]],” which might be a reference to the fact that Jevil was trapped in the basement (and while there, considered himself to be the only free person)

Noelle is the Angel

The Queen is trying to make a perfect world for her while following the Knight’s plan/example, despite complaining about her to Kris --> angel’s heaven?

I think she is also referred to as an angel at some point

Jevil’s objects like her if you try to equip her with them

This is dependent on the idea that Jevil and Spamton are Titans

The strange connection between Noelle and Kris during the Weird Route

During the Weird Route, we start to use Noelle to kill people, just like how Chara wanted to use Asriel to kill the humans in Undertale, and Asriel was the angel in Undertale

I’m probably going to update this as I think of other things, but here’s my ideas as it right now.

#Deltarune #Deltarune theory

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obstinaterixatrix · 3 years

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I feel like I'm either reaching or saying something obvious, but what if lyrics for "Don't forget" are literal? I'm only realizing after Chapter 2 that all of those lyrics are basically what's happening in Deltarune, especially with these verses: "There's a light inside your soul / That's still shining in the cold". I'm pretty sure Spamton implied that since Kris has the "heart shaped object" and that they have the light because they're a lightner, it could mean that the soul is the light or has the light. And obviously "the cold" could take on a new meaning what with the whole developement with Noelle, her magic spells (her whole route) and her possible importance in the story. But then what about the rest of the lyrics? "The truth / The promise in our hearts" - if it's all literal then someone must have made a promise (a deal? a pact?) maybe concerning the soul? But who was it, and who are these words meant for? "Don't forget / I'm with you in the dark" - is it meant for Kris? Someone stays with Kris even when they travel to the Dark World, and they must not forget? Or maybe it's us, the player? With the leitmotif of the last two verses repeating throughout basically the whole Chapter 1 soundtrack, it kind of feels like constantly hearing those words. Again, I'm pretty sure I'm reaching, but I just always thought that the lyrics were a bit abstract and realizing that they might be literal made me think I'm crazy or something... So please only respond to this if you think it makes any sense. (Btw I've been enjoying your Deltarune posts a lot!)

Ty, ty :V

Yea I think that’s plausible. I’m usually not one for speculation because I get chagrined when I’m wrong (lol) but the options I can think of are:

-the player (possible, but if ‘promise’ is related to kris’ backstory then it’s more unlikely; also, considering pacifist vs weird route, ‘truth’ feels a little too concrete for the player-kris relationship)

-wd gaster (if we take ‘promise’ to be more in the sense of deals/contracts/etc, and if we assume he’s the one in the beginning with the Accepting Risk Of Seizure, this could work; ‘in our hearts’ seems too sentimental for this reading, but who knows) (I’m leaning towards the theory of gaster trying to find some way to return from wherever he is now, and needing a vessel) (*if* Whatever Incident Happened With Dess somehow involved gaster, that could be relevant)

-ralsei (considering the theory that ralsei was A Beloved Object, or is a manifestation of Kris missing his brother, or is somehow otherwise relevant to kris and might’ve known about/been there for Whatever Incident Happened With Dess, promises and forgetting and truth would all be relevant keywords)

-asriel (not really evidence here but kris is obviously close to asriel and they miss their bro a lot—it could be a Words Of Comfort thing he left them) (and if asriel was involved in Whatever Incident Happened With Dess the lyrics could be a reference to that)

-dess (I think this is pretty unlikely but since we don’t know about Whatever Incident Happened it is within the realm of possibility that *if* what happened had something to do with the occult and/or dark world, then again ‘promise’ and ‘forget’ and ‘truth’ are pretty relevant keywords—in this case, it would make more sense for it to be directed towards noelle, but she doesn’t have a soul in the worldbuilding sense) (HOWEVER it would sort of parallel undertale asriel with how he was thought to have died but was accidentally brought back)

Oh I also gotta add Kris has seen save points before ch 1, so it might be related to that and whoever they were with when they saw it

Oh also also in this framework I’m assuming ‘soul’ is going by the undertale definition as like, unique and innate biology(ish) to humans

#deru spec #ask #derulb #orlbs #deltaruner spoilers #anonymous

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randomrainman · 3 years

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why the american campaign in afghanistan was destined for failure, and other strange stuff.

Our campaign in Afghanistan which began on October 7, 2001, dubbed “Operation Enduring Freedom” for some peculiar and uniquely American reason, was doomed from the very beginning, and most of the blame for the failure is ours.

Pictured: A group of Afghans rest near Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan. (Photo: me)

So why did this happen in the first place?

Detailing the entirety of Afghanistan’s tumultuous 19th- and 20th-century history here would an arduous (and, ultimately, pointless) task, but, put succinctly, the USA and Afghanistan’s eastern neighbour, Pakistan, were instrumental in the initial development of the Taliban as a viable militant organisation and major player in Afghanistan.

Pictured: a Soviet soldier takes cover near Herat, Afghanistan. (Photo: AP/Jacques Langevin)

The Soviet Union embroiled itself in a bitter conflict in Afghanistan from 24 December 1979 until 15 February 1989. Through Pakistani intelligence services, the CIA, in its anti-commie fervour, armed and funded anti-Soviet resistance groups, collectively known as mujahideen (which is Swedish for “turboprop plane”, or maybe just Arabic for “those engaged in jihad”). Spirited resistance and brilliant guerrilla-style tactics by the mujahideen, which included future prominent Taliban figures such as Haibatullah Akhundzada and Mohammad Omar, led to the eventual departure of Soviet forces from Afghanistan in what has been termed (perhaps ironically, considering our current situation) “Russia’s Vietnam”. At least 562,000 Afghans perished in the Soviet-Afghan War, and millions more either fled the country or were internally displaced. This conflict also likely directly contributed to the dissolution of the Soviet Union in 1991.

Pictured: Former Representative Charlie Wilson (D-TX) with a group of mujahideen. Wilson championed a veritable Cyclone of bullshit. (Photo: Wikipedia/unknown author)

As a civil war further ravaged Afghanistan, the Taliban, founded in 1994 by Islamic cleric (mullah) Mohammad Omar, emerged as the preeminent force amongst the mujahideen. Backed by Pakistan’s Inter-Services Intelligence, the Deobandi Islamist group quickly made territorial gains and captured Kabul in 1996, brutally murdering former President Najibullah to punctuate their conquest.

Under the newly established Islamic Emirate of Afghanistan, the Taliban regime went right to work in establishing stringent shari’a law over the territories they subdued, barring women from education and work, suppressing ethnic and religious minorities, and outlawing music and TV (which, with the exception of the last thing, should sound familiar to anyone familiar with our own history).

A certain Usama bin Laden (UBL), who founded the terrorist organisation al-Qa’ida (literally “the base”) in 1988 during the Soviet-Afghan War, funnelled resources, to include arms and foreign fighters, into the mujahideen resistance effort in Afghanistan through his Maktab al-Khidamat. Though the organisation provided little in terms of overall impact on the war, it boasted a backing of both Pakistan’s ISI and Saudi Arabia’s General Intelligence Presidency, and was later absorbed into al-Qa’ida.

Having had his Saudi citizenship stripped and amid mounting pressure from Saudi Arabia, the US, and Sudan, bin Laden opted to return to Afghanistan in 1996, where he would forge an alliance with Mullah Omar. Omar’s Taliban regime provided a suitable, ahem, base of operations for bin Laden’s burgeoning global terrorism aspirations, and Pakistan provided continued funding and manpower for the Taliban and its al-Qa’ida allies up until 2001.

Pictured: Ahmad Shah Massoud and a group of mujahideen in the Panjshir Valley, 1984. (Photo: Jean-Luc Bremont/AP)

Ahmad Shah Massoud, a guerrilla commander who famously repelled Soviet occupying forces from the Panjshir Valley, became a leading figure in anti-Taliban efforts. Massoud, along with Abdul Rashid Dostum, a polarising yet powerful ethnic Uzbek warlord, formed the United Front (commonly referred to as the Northern Alliance). Instead of the Pashtun-centric approach utilised by the Taliban, Massoud sought to incorporate Afghanistan’s numerous ethnicities under the United Front’s umbrella.

Despite the Northern Alliance’s clear opposition to the Taliban and ostensibly having prior knowledge that radical elements were at play, the United States provided zero backing to the resistance efforts. Massoud himself addressed the European Parliament and warned of an imminent attack, and also expressed the need for US aid in combatting Taliban belligerents.

Two days prior to the September 11 attacks, the highly revered Massoud prepared to give an interview to a pair of Arab TV journalists, and it would be the last thing he did, as the “journalists” detonated a suicide bomb fashioned out of a TV camera, which was apparently stolen in France. The "Lion of Panjshir” was buried in his home village of Bazarak, Panjshir Valley, with hundreds of thousands of people in attendance.

Pictured: The World Trade Center’s Twin Towers erupt in flames after airliners hijacked by al-Qaeda operatives crash into the buildings. According to conspiracy nutjobs, these planes and their passengers never existed, and instead flew into a wormhole and into a parallel universe. (Photo: Silva/Reuters)

Following 9/11, then-President George W. Bush threatened the Taliban regime and demanded that they deliver al-Qa’ida leaders in Afghanistan to American authorities, an undertaking they promptly decided to never do. Naturally, Bush came to shove, and a joint resolution that somehow declared war on the very concept of terror was issued.

The United States also finally decided to team up with the Northern Alliance at the onset of OEF in October 2001. Fortunately, it paid off; the Taliban regime rapidly disintegrated after being bombed into the Bronze Age. Despite having effectively vanquished the Taliban, the US failure to capture or kill UBL at Tora Bora likely protracted the conflict into the behemoth bumblefuck we currently recognise.

We did manage to finally kill UBL on May 2, 2011, but stayed in Afghanistan for another 10 years, because stuff. In 2018, then-President Trump ordered a drawdown of approximately 7,000 troops, and in February 2020, US envoy to Afghanistan Zalmay Khalilzad and Taliban vice emir Abdul Ghani Baradar signed a peace agreement. In July of this year, we abandoned Bagram Airfield, our biggest base, virtually overnight, and did not bother informing the Afghans, which I’m sure made them extremely happy.

Pictured: The mountains near Bagram, Parwan province, Afghanistan. (Photo: me)

The Taliban resurgence into power was equally swift and met surprisingly little resistance: on August 15, 2021, the Taliban took Kabul and cemented its authority. This version of the militant group the NATO coalition and pro-Western Afghan forces soundly defeated in 2001 made promises to uphold women’s rights and to maintain an inclusive government, though the killing of at least three at a protest in Jalalabad, amongst other things, probably does little to reassure critics that their takeover is a positive turn of events. That said, far-right and neo-Nazi elements are, in fact, celebrating the Taliban’s seizure of power for some depraved Nazi-exclusive reason. It must also be noted that, on multiple levels, the evangelical brand of Christianity possesses significant overlap with the Deobandi Islamist stylings of the Taliban credo.

Pictured: President Joseph Biden discusses Afghanistan at the White House, Aug. 16, 2021 (Photo: AP/Vucci)

As of late, we have frequently underestimated the capabilities of enemy combatants, and the conclusion of our campaign in Afghanistan is no different: President Biden hugely miscalculated the Taliban’s competence in retaking the nation, citing the Afghan National Defence and Security Forces’ (ANDSF) strength in numbers and superiority in armaments and materiel. Following the takeover, he even went on to blame the ANDSF’s lack of resolve as a reason for the US-backed regime’s collapse. While technically true, it also fails to take into account Afghanistan’s nature itself. In reality, Afghanistan, in contrast to a central federal government such as that of the United States, is very splintered, factional, corruption-ridden, and largely fiercely independent and self-governing, especially amongst Pashtun tribes. It’s as if Piru and Crip sets spread out over an entire country ... and over several centuries.

Pictured: “NAYBAHOOOOD!” ... now take away the colours, replace every clothing article with shalwar kameez, and turn it up to a cosmic scale, and you have Afghanistan. (Photo: unitedgangs.com)

An additional blunder was approaching the campaign as one would a conventional conflict, something which clearly does not apply to a place as plagued by lawlessness as Afghanistan. There are largely no clear enemies (or friends, for that matter), and trying to distinguish friend from foe is akin to stabbing a warbling mass of sentient Silly Putty or the weird black goo from Prometheus. The United States will almost always win in terms of sheer might and overall warfighting acumen, as we are skilled in both conventional and asymmetric warfare, but what can you do when you have no idea who the enemy is? When the enemy is willing to “wait it out” indefinitely? Sure, we could literally blow everyone up, but, last I heard, wholesale genocide is a generally frowned-upon activity.

Calling Afghanistan even a Pyrrhic victory seems like an overstatement when you examine the initial mission, our successes, and the final result. Sure, we got UBL, which was supposedly the entire point of the invasion, but if so, why did we choose to remain for another ten years, wasting a metric asston of resources in the process? To build a nation? To soothe our collective ego?

Pictured: Workers construct a road in Afghanistan (Photo: AP/Rahmat Gul)

If one is to build a nation, it requires a decent understanding of and a rapport with the people groups with whom you are dealing. It is not enough to simply install people who share your particular leanings and instruct them to do what you would do. It is certainly inadequate to provide arms, training, and funding to people and expect them to do your bidding when shit hits the fan. This sort of thinking also indirectly implies that we possess some kind of moral authority over the nations we invade. While our post-war influence has proved positive in some places (Japan, South Korea, Germany, etc.), it does not mean that we should be building nations in every place in which we set foot, especially in a place so volatile and tribalistic as Afghanistan.

I have communicated with a few individuals who insist that President Biden’s withdrawal was too hasty, or that we should just remain in Afghanistan for the foreseeable future. As much as I am typically revolted by former President Trump and his frequently incoherent word salads, he was right about this particular matter: “The only way they last is if we’re there. What are we going to say? We’ll stay for another 21 years, then we’ll stay for another 50. The whole thing is ridiculous." Yes ... yes, it is ridiculous to prop up an institution that will collapse instantaneously in our absence.

I am no fan of former Senator Ron Paul, and especially Alex Jones and InfoWars, but Paul is almost completely correct in making this statement. Ultimately, a militaristic approach to dominance does not pave the way for longevity. While it is virtually impossible (and infeasible) to return to a 1930s-era isolationist policy, repeated and extended global conflicts only serve to deplete American resources, even if war profiteers have much to gain from it.

Pictured: barbed wire fencing at Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan. (Photo: me)

Ultimately, rather than rushing pell-mell into unknown and dangerous situations, it is important, especially in this time period, to examine why things went wrong to avoid embroiling ourselves in additional catastrophic and unwinnable debacles such as our Afghanistan conflict. This is a time for self-reflection, rather than outrage.

|the kid|

#Afghanistan #afghan crisis #afghan peace talks #Taliban #US military #USA #crisis #humanitarian crises #Pakistan #international relations #foreign relations #war #Middle East #Pashtun #world affairs #creative writing #Clayton Jones Images #intelligence #CIA

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tutubola-moved-on · 3 years

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Hi I like music and I kind of go wayyy too deep into the TPN soundtrack and I think it's about time I start throwing my thoughts out there before they spiral too much

Disclaimer!!! This is not a complete analysis at all, just a few thoughts on each of the songs. I'll probably revisit some of them in future parts if I ever do those aha anyways enjoy

(Part 1/?): 63194, Emma's Sorrow, Emma's Determination, 22194, Norman's Lament, The Promise Between Humans and Demons, Jailbreak and Isabella's Lullaby.

(manga spoilers)

I've done a lil smth smth on Main Theme 2 already and its my favourite song like ever aha this is a cry for help

here you go people

but now anyways fr

63194 (Season 1)

Wouldn't have started with this one cuz I'm still figuring it out but it was the first one that came up when I pressed shuffle

Let's just go straight to the point so we can move on. The first time we hear 63194 is in episode 2, when Norman is talking to Ray about their plan in the forest (or, as I like to call it, "boat scene"). It reaches its climax when Norman starts talking about how he'll use himself to ensure the escape plan will work.

And then it's only used again in episode 8, if I'm not mistaken, after Isabella tells them about Norman's shipment, thus foreshadowing him refusing to escape and using his "death" as a tool to help the others escape.

But alsooo the song is Emma's theme, so there's definitely some sort of meaning other than foreshadowing Norman's shipment. That's for later though cuz I'll have to think more. The beginning does sound a lot like Strauss' Metamorphosen, a piece symbolising how German culture was destroyed during WW2. Not sure what to do with that info for now.

If you'd like a little extra stuff, I also tried connecting the pieces to the Doctrine of Affections, a... thing some Baroque composers wrote that connected music keys to feelings. (I found many sources but I used this one).

63194 is in C Minor, which is described as "innocently sad" (although another source said "sweet but sad") and "lovesick." I think innocence really describes Emma, Ray, and Norman in general, as kids who never did anything wrong but were thrown into the wrong world. Innocently sad would be their conversations in boat scene. They're talking about life or death, it's not something kids should have to deal with.

But again, it's hopeful. Norman wants to create a boat made out of mud---he wants to save everyone---and he really believes it'll work. So although sad, it's also sweet. It's a light at the end of the tunnel, and also just an act of kindness. As for "lovesick," that would just describe Ray and Emma's inevitable longing for Norman after he was gone. Which brings us to...

Emma's Sorrow (エマの悲しみ) (Season 1)

The two times I remember Emma's Sorrow played was 1) When they first talked to Don and Gilda about the house and 2) During the infirmary flashback scene.

The Doctrine of Affections describes E Minor as "grief and longing." In the infirmary flashback scene that obviously not only shows how Norman longs for that time when they didn't know anything and everything was light and happy but also, once again, foreshadows Emma eventually having to grieve him.

Especially because they don't play the staccato part (short quick notes) that's in the original version. Instead, the strings are always present. In staccato, the music gets pretty,,, lowkey? because the instruments can't exactly "show off," whereas the legato (long/connected notes) really shows the true importance and impact each individual instrument has on the song. Considering how the strings (specifically the violins) in the soundtrack could symbolise Norman, it's showing how Norman is not just another guy who's in their group and planning the escape, but an actual friend they'll lose and who'll leave a significant emptiness behind. Not only brain power wise, but just.. you know he's a human being and it's gonna hurt either way.

Not only that, but the harmonies itself in Emma's Sorrow once the strings really do come in are really incomplete. Like, the piano part seems to be all over the place, but it comes together because of the strings. Norman was the one who brought Emma and Ray together, in a way, and isn't Emma and Ray clashing exactly what Shirai wanted when he sent Norman away? Yea...

And Emma's Sorrow is, of course, parallel to:

Emma's Determination (エマの決定) (Season 1)

Yea no I'm still gathering thoughts on that one. The ascending bass contrasting the descending bass in Emma's Sorrow is pretty cool, though. It plays when Don is going off about how he wants to be strong after punching Ray and Norman and it's in F# Minor, so "passionate resentment." Connect both and Don really is ready to change the world. He got slapped with this very very bad reality and naturally he's angry and he's sad and he wants to do anything in his power to save people.

But back to Norman.

(hi future me here. oh my god why am i only talking about norman this was not the route this was originally going to take im so sorry i swear there's more to this post than just norman brain rot 22194 is the last norman one)

22194 (Season 1) and Norman's Lament (ノーマンの嘆き) (Season 2)

22194 is in B Minor, so "patience" and "walking towards fate." That's pretty self explanatory considering how he, and I quote, "chose death." Yea. G Minor would be "uneasiness of the future," and once again, pretty self explanatory (The whole Lambda seizures thing and I'm The Only One Who Can Save The Humans Syndrome. Normy worries too much :/)

Comparing both is pretty fun, too. It's the same melody but in different keys and instruments and thus just give off different feelings. While 22194 is full of instruments and harmonies and is clearly structured, Norman's Lament is just. Empty. It's like it's trying to stay true to 22194, so the Norman from before, but at the end of every musical sentence it just drifts off. You can see parts of 22194 in there, but it's not the same. At all.

There's also no harmony. He wants to do everything himself, and discards all his bonds and friends for that. So sad. Stop him.

All that while 22194 is rich and beautiful and oh my god i love that song so much and it's just showing how Norman was a lot more lively and layered and human when he allowed people to come into his life (the harmonies) and listened to those people instead of just locking himself up and doing everything himself.

So in conclusion cuz I ramble a lot, 22194 is about GF Norman, who hadn't gone through all those things that turned him "evil," who trusted his friends and believed everything had a good, ethic solution. Norman's Lament is about Lambda/post-Lambda Norman, who had gone through a whole lot, and was now in a downwards spiral and had left everything behind to become God or whatever, but was also in denial that he had changed in the first place.

does this make sense no idea i'm typing this while sleep deprived and high on bread and i failed english this quarter

but that aside

The Promise Between Humans and Demons (人間と鬼の約束)(Season 2)

I love this song!!!!!! So much!!!!!!!!! I love the percussion, it's used so well. And I love the way the song builds up and adds more and more instruments until it eventually reaches a climax, like the growing tension between the humans and the demons during the war that snowballed and snowballed and eventually caused both sides to resort to the Promise.

And when the song comes down you can hear a very short "first draft" ish version of Isabella's Lullaby.

It's as if yes, all this mess went down and the demons and humans made this huge promise that completely changed the world and affected an entire society but then far far away from the Seven Walls and the Promise and oblivious of the Ratri Clan and the demons were these two tiny tiny children just singing a song and living happily. And those children---and that song---were the foundation for the entire revolution that ended with the Promise. Wow.

And it's in D Major, D Major is "Triumphant." The song itself sounds triumphant, and yes the Promise was gross but it was a nice little hello kitty band aid over the mess that was the world before it.

What was truly triumphant, though, was the kids' escape, which happened to the same melodic theme, albeit in a different key. Which leads me to...

Prison Break (脱獄) (Season 1)

Oh my God. I love this song.

It symbolises the kids breaking ties with Isabella and how many obstacles were in the way (not only was she their mom; their only mom who had cared for them for their entire lives, but she was also their enemy and did everything she could to prevent them from escaping). The second the brass comes in with the theme (around 0:53) it sounds like it's struggling to play it fully. In this case, Isabella, once the singing parts, would have lost her voice after being outwitted by the children (keep in mind the song starts playing after they've already reached the wall). After all, the song starts with a voice that seems to get more and more desperate before it's overrun by instruments, thus losing its power.

So she's trying to control them and get them back, but they won't let her. They're going to break free. So you have the melodic theme playing with significant breaks, until eventually it all goes silent. Why? Because they escaped. Isabella completely lost contact with them, they're free. And then you get the same melodic theme in The Promise Between Humans and Demons.

But the theme isn't played full. It's not played to the extent that they play it in TPBDAH, instead there's a lot of just "blank space" with no melody above it: that's where the children will write their melody---their story; a story independent from the Promise that shaped their lives thus far.

AGH.

I need a break but I'll be back

Isabella's Lullaby (イサベラの唄)

OK OK Continuing on Isabella I love how Sarah Alainn sings like she's crying. I really recommend this if you want to go deep on Isabella's Lullaby, they pretty much said everything I had to say. I don't go on youtube like ever and that might as well be one of my favourite videos LOL anyways

I also really recommend listening to the no vocal/piano solo version, the harmonies are so beautiful. And the more you listen to it the more you hear, there's always something new. The violins especially oh I love the way Takahiro Obata uses violins. Honourable mention to Nat King Ballade (ナットキングバラード) and Each Thought (それぞれの想い) (idk if thats the english name for it,,,, i've seen it as "Their Own Thoughts" too)

WELL THEN. What a ride. I'll go to sleep now. If anything is incoherent or u just wanna talk then send me askies or a dm smth idk aha i like music but i hate grammar :P

#adding this to the queue cuz posting it rn would be so weird #tpn manga spoilers #thoughts #long post #tpn music #63194 #emma's sorrow #emma's determination #isabella's lullaby #prison break #tpbhad #norman's lament

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aethersmoke-and-ash · 4 years

Text

LFRP - Milloux Allard

✦ The Basics ––– –

Age: Late 20′s

Birthday: She remains unsure of the exact date - but celebrates yearly when the Moonfire fireworks begins.

Race: Duskwight Elezen

Gender: Female

Sexuality: bisexual

Server: Balmung

�� Physical Appearance ––– –

Hair: Long, nearly waist-length hair, naturally a deep aubergine color. Highlights change frequently, often favoring dusty pastels or bold saturated hues. Often pulled back into a high ponytail or loose braid for ease.

Eyes: A bright – almost unnaturally so – magenta with flecks of paler pinks.

Height: Fairly short for an elezen - just under six fulms. This is likely due, in part, to stress and malnourishment during her formative years.

Build: Fit, but softer. Her features have lost some sharpness over the past few years; maturity, regular meals and a lifestyle resembling some form of stability has caused her to fill out a little.

Distinguishing Marks: A faded scar bisecting the bridge of her nose - from forehead to just under the corner of her right eye. A full sleeve of tattoos on each arm, depicting floral motif, mythical creatures, and protective sigils.(When not glamoured away for the sake of propriety- which is frequently the case these days) Freckled cheeks and shoulders - a consequence of ashen-colored skin being exposed to more sunlight than is probably advised for a duskwight. A series of four jagged parallel scars on her right side/hip; all very old and faded.

Common Accessories: Various hoops and other ear adornments - often sporting a pair of silver ear cuffs. Will accessorize with various bits and baubles, but seems largely unconcerned with excessive adornment.

✦ Personality ––– –

At once earnest and enigmatic, Milloux can be difficult to pin down, and seems to prefer it that way. Her voice, low and pleasant enough, carries the distinct cadence of Limsan salt, though practice seems to have softened it a great deal. Make no mistake, she can still weave a tapestry of profanity fine enough to make a sailor blush... at least in the right company. Those that take the time to get to know her find there is a tempest of emotion underneath the wry humor and composure. A woman fiercely protective of those she has come to call her own and those she seeks to aid, and yet undeniably fragile - someone that has built up high walls to keep the soft parts of her psyche and heart safe from harm.

✦ Personal ––– –

Profession: Former freelance mark-hunter and bodyguard. Absolutely not seeking to help others in a more proactive sense, securing wayward & harmful artifacts, or hunting down dangerous individuals.

Hobbies: This is something she’s still figuring out! Free time has never been something she’s had a surfeit of, though she’s taken to teaching herself how to play the guitar…and knitting. (The latter will be denied vehemently or claim is solely to help her focus and meditate)

Languages: Common

Residence: A rambling ramshackle manor she is slowly restoring on Vylbrand’s coast or her quarters at the Mercier Estate in Ishgard.

Birthplace: A long collapsed cave-network deep in the Shroud that may or may not have had access into Gelmorra.

Religion: She remembers little of the religion of her birth - ancient rituals forgotten by most. Loosely follows the Navigator, asking occasionally for her fair winds and favor, more recently looking towards the Fury for guidance, after initial hesitance for the halonic faith.

Patron Deity: Nophica

Fears: Abandonment, loss of control, suffocation, being restrained or confined, paralysis.

✦ Relationships ––– -

Spouse: None currently – Divorced.

Children: None.

Parents: Sidoni (mother; presumed deceased, surname unknown) , Toussaint Allard* (father; whereabouts unknown.) *Allard is an assumed name. Both Milloux and her older brother are unaware that their father made this change upon relocation to Gridania, and are unaware of their true surname.

Siblings: Jordain Allard (older brother)

Other Relatives: Unknown; very likely to have relatives still living among various isolated settlements and caves in the Shroud.

Pets: Matilda; a tiny sphynx kitten.

✦ RP Hooks ––– –

Crossroads - Milloux has found herself staring down uncertainty and an unknown path after the sudden closure of the Ashen Enclave and the seizure of the Clinic by Ul'dahn interest and authority after a series of unexplained aetheric anomalies on the grounds. She is still reeling from the ordeal, the carefully composed mask of Advocate and Lady peeled away enough to reveal someone unsure of her next steps, of redefining herself after turns of devoting herself wholly to helping others; burying herself within her role, and the responsibilities she's shouldered. That she was perhaps drowning under the weight of it all, even before then, is something she has been slow to acknowledge. Where there has always been a quiet melancholy about her, there's now a morose edge, tangled within fatalist and reckless inclinations -- no longer tempered by her need to be responsible for the sake of the Enclave, and those who looked to her for guidance. What she seeks now, she isn't certain. A new purpose, distractions, people to help...or even a greater sense of self underneath all of the personas she has attempted to wear and define herself by for the sake of others. Maybe she just needs trouble, a strong drink, and a sparring partner. It's difficult to say, really.

✧ A full list of hooks & more info about Milloux can be found at: http://milloux.carrd.co ✧

✦ What I’m looking for ––––

Connections of all sorts! Plots to jump into and help with!

Milloux has worn many masks over the course of her relatively short life, and has likely made as many friends as enemies. I imagine an entire rogue’s gallery in her past - with room for all sorts of characters and interactions - the drama of such characters coming back into her life would be a lot of fun - both as ally or adversary! Maybe both... If your character needs help with a problem, or a drinking buddy from their past with seemingly deep pockets and what appears to be an uncanny influx of good luck, she might be your gal.

I am looking, in particular, for those with knowledge of thaumaturgy and black magic. Milloux has some connections to the darker arts, and I have been looking for colleagues, rivals, and adversaries in this vein. Folks to research, delve into mysteries, poke at dangerous artifacts...

If Mill isn’t your cup of tea, I have a whole bunch of other characters as well! (I’ll be making individual posts for them soon)

✦ OOC info ––––

Hi! I’m Dani~ I’ve been RPing for a really long time now! As in, started back on AOL, long time ago. I’m a really laid back and patient RP partner, and I prefer the folks I write with to be the same. I’m a tired lady in her 30′s with a trio of cats.

Due to work obligations, evenings (EST) work best for me for in-game RP! I do enjoy Discord RP as well, especially for more personal and character-focused scenes.

Darker plots are as welcome as slice-of-life scenes. I value communication with those I am writing with, in order to make sure we stay on the same page and nothing gets thrown at me entirely out of the blue. Please know that, in general, while I’m not opposed to spicier rp or romantic plots, I don’t like to set out with just those aims in mind, and prefer things to develop organically, and then only after I’ve gotten comfortable with an RP partner.

✦ Contact Information ––– –

Ingame - ‘Milloux Allard’ , Discord: snarksonomy#1313

@balmungrp , @crystalxivrp, @mooglemeet, @ffxiv-crystal-rp

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bracketsoffear · 11 months

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Hannibal Lecter & Will Graham (Hannibal) "Hannibal Lecter spends the entirety manipulating the entire plot of the show, from the very first episode to the very last seconds of the show. From the moment he first meets Will in season 1, he realizes he will be the person to find him out as the serial killer the Chesapeake Ripper; so, taking advantage Will’s autoimmune encephalitis, he frames Will for his crimes by inducing seizures and lost time to plant evidence on Will’s person and in his home.

He has the entire FBI convinced of this plot, going so far as to convince them Will is insane- then, when he decides he misses Will, he organizes the killing of the judge and bailiff to get Will released. He spends the rest of the season dating Alana Bloom to use her as his alibi for the killings and hosting dinner parties to get rid of the evidence, often feeding it to the FBI themselves, and tempting Will to get emotionally closer to him. This is about the point in which Will and Hannibal begin working in tandem- as, parallel to this, Will has spent his time in prison acting emotionally vulnerable to draw Hannibal in so he could exact his revenge upon him for what he’s done to Will. When he’s released, he goes to great lengths to exactly fit Hannibal’s ‘idea’ of Will while collaborating with the FBI to get Lecter caught. In season 3, after Will attempts to remove Hannibal from his life, Hannibal surrenders himself to the FBI so that Will would always know where to find him. From prison, Hannibal manipulates a serial killer through phone calls to attempt to kill Will’s wife and son, and Will organizes for another character to get kidnapped and tortured by the serial killer through hiding hints in a news article, all to draw the killer’s attention to him so he can attempt to collaborate with him to release Hannibal from prison. Will shortly draws the serial killer to attack Hannibal and Will’s car during a staged prison transport to free Hannibal, and they escape from the FBI together."

Monika (Doki Doki Literature Club) "Like the Web, the President of the Literature Club has an achievable level of awareness that the other girls are incapable of obtaining. Monika knows this is all a game and uses this to her advantage to get closer to the player. She changes the personalities of Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri to bring out their worst qualities, making herself seem more appealing in the process. When that doesn't work, Monika starts messing with the game itself: deleting characters, asking the player to delete them ourselves (and if we don't, there are consequences that make the game that more unpleasant and terrifying to play), and even during a choice later in the game, SHE MOVES THE MOUSE ITSELF, making it almost impossible to choose anyone but her."

#web poll #the magnus archives #the web #poll #hannibal #doki doki literature club

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desticuleconfessions · 3 years

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hey desticule. so i have a supernatural-themed girl best friends story that i’ve wanted to share for a long time, especially because none of my irl friends ever rly understood the gravity of this experience w/o the context of spn. there’s a lot of fun parallels to stuff on the show, and its given me like years of brain rot and therapy lmao. so i really deeply appreciate this page as an outlet, thank you so much to the mods for making it. anyways uh. here goes. sorry it’s so long.

[tw: queer trauma, religious trauma, mental illness]

okay so. in 3rd grade i met this girl. we'll call her kate. we became best friends, as in our names were never spoken separately, we did (and won) every science fair together, she came skiing with my family every winter, i stayed with her family at their beach house in the summers, our younger siblings were friends, etc.

our birthdays were exactly 6 months apart (jan 22/jul 22) so we literally believed that we were celestially intertwined.

we wrote a novel together in 8th grade. her family is baptist, we attended massachusetts catholic schools. i would go to church with her family when i slept over, i held hands and said grace with them at meals. they are all tall and blonde and beautiful. classically angelic. i am south asian. i remember introducing her to harry potter in the 4th grade, her mother hadn't let her read em because it was "blasphemous", but i snuck her my copies and she would read them during lunch n recess and keep them in my locker. sorry this seems like a lot of unnecessary detail but it will be important later.

anyways we both got into doctor who and subsequentally supernatural (s1-8?9 at the time). i specifically remember getting her into supernatural. i also remember her instinctive disdain for destiel when i talked about it, i was showing her a meta or fanfic i think, and i talked her through undoing some of her christian household’s internalized homophobia (fully assuming we were both straight at this point) (we were fucking 12). we'd do the whole "bitch" "jerk" thing, i (the older one) affectionately called her 'sammy', her phone password was dean, mine was cas (and they still are). on my 13th birthday, she gifted me a samulet, which i still wear to this day. (additionally, she gave me a vonnegut 'so it goes' necklace one year) (thats not vital but) (goes to show the extent of my dean coding) (im also an aquarius lmao). im highly protective of her. i carry extra rubber bands on my wrist for her. i keep our money and phones in my jacket when the school takes us skiing. i sit next to her in the halls during lunch and organize her binder. on an 8th grade field trip, a boy made a gross comment at her and i broke his nose.

so we start high school together at coed catholic school nearby, i join debate, make a friend also into spn, she's bi. she asks kate out over text. kate's mom sees this. things turn.

now the rest of these things happened over the course of a couple months and due to my trauma memory loss, i have no idea how accurate some of these memories are so uh. don't hold me to them.

- her highly religious mother is not happy with this obviously. at some point, she brings a priest home and tries to have kate exorcised.

- at this point, we learn that kate is schizophrenic; it never seemed to create noticeable issues before bc her home life and childhood was a perfect happy dream (not an assumption, her words).

- she's still coming to school, sporadically now, i bring home her work, spend hours helping her.

- when she comes to school, she has seizures: sometimes we're fortunate enough that they happen in a class we have together. she freezes up and the teacher empties the room. i refuse to leave. i hold her hand and softly sing her favorite song and sometimes she comes back to me. sometimes she doesn’t and the bell rings and the teacher forces me to leave and let the nurse handle it.

- another time they announce a medical lockdown (to keep ppl out of the hallway if someone is being escorted to an ambulance) while im in catholicism class, i immediately know it’s her; she fainted in the pool during swim team practice.

- i stay awake for 6 days straight bc i read online that sleep deprivation induces some of the same symptoms as schizophrenia and if i could understand what she was going through, i could help her

- she shows up at my house w both of her parents 15 minutes before the winter ball, begs me to go bc her parents will only let her if i go. so i do. her mom lurks by the gym doors with the chaperones. during a slow song, kate and debate girl start to slow dance, i grab our friend’s hand, drag him in front of them so her mom can’t see and make out with him.

- i wanted to tell her to stop but i was too afraid i would lose us, that it would seem like i was homophobic or i was jealous, but i knew her in my marrow and it didn’t seem like she was in love or into the relationship, it was willful self destruction

- we talked in the last few years, she confirmed this.

- at some point, she says she’s sorry she didn’t tell me about the voices before.

- when we talk, she’s not her anymore, she doesn’t remember our inside jokes, our codes, i can feel her being slowly ripped away and apart in real time

- i have a vivid memory of arguing with her and her telling me im not real, that her mind made me up, while occasionally speaking to something? someone? else in the room. i hold her hand and point to the matching thin scars on our thumbs and try to convince her im real.

- she eventually drops out entirely, taken to some mental facility that im not entirely sure wasnt conversion therapy (it was definitely a religious facility) (and conversion therapy was not outlawed in new hampshire until 2019) and im not allowed to see her.

- every now and then i get cryptic distressing emails or texts from her.

- one in particular has the subject, “youandiwalkafragilelineihaveknownitallthistimebutineverthoughtidlivetoseeitbreak” which is the first line of the song ‘haunted’ by taylor swift (our shared favorite)(the summer after this happened we collectively decided we needed a new swift Our Song and chose ‘breathe’). the body of the email read “what the hell have i done”

- i pray for the first time in my life, every single day for a few months, in different languages, at temple with my parents, in the chapel at school

- on a club trip, i get a call at 2am from her, crying, asking me why i didn’t help her, why i didn’t stop her, that it was my job to protect her

here’s something i wrote about her, three yrs after:

I wasn’t careful enough and she caught quickly. She burned so close and so bright that for long afterwards, I could not see. And like that, she was gone. I walked into the chapel. Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa.

[that last line is from the latin version for a catholic prayer called the act of contrition, it translates to “through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault”]

in the fall, i hear she’s starting at a small baptist school almost an hour from her house. she is dating the principal’s son. the principal is also her pastor.

in my second year of college, i have a bad acid trip in a snowy park in december. i put my hands into the snow and when i look at them,i see blood. i see her body in the snow adorned like it’s a funeral

i still have dreams about her. sometimes i meet her in a grassy field, flying kites and i invite her to my wedding. in others, i catch a glimpse of her ponytail and catholic school skirt and chase her up eight flights of stairs and when i grab her hand, she turns to ash.

at some point in a separate argument w my parents in which they went through my texts and found out i wasn’t straight (amongst other things) my dad says:“i knew i should’ve listened to [kate’s dad] when he told me the things you would talk about. he knew what you are. and he took his daughter away from you.”

last christmas we met up and drove around together, she tells me that for years she thought i hated her for letting me down and for abandoning me, and i literally have the dean winchester in ‘sacrifice’ five stages of grief when sam says “you know what i confessed in there?” because i could not even begin to fathom that she ever blamed herself. it had always been my fault. i had failed to save her. i corrupted her and i failed to save her.

anyways she’s fine now, she’s okay, im okay, we’ve talked and unpacked and we’re alright. but uh. yeah. that happened. the parallels make me crazy. now they can make you crazy too.

‎

#tw: queer trauma #tw: religious trauma #tw: mental illness #wow #that is ... a lot #i'm glad both you and she are okay #mod cas #confessions #desticuleconfessions

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a-student-out-of-time · 3 years

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Connections Review Part 1

Happy 2021 everyone! Well…the year’s off to a terrible start due to how bad last year was but I hope that most of 2021 will be good and not be 2020 Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. But enough of that, another arc ended, another review due. Now I am quite conscious of length here and I’ll try to make these reviews a bit easier to read, it will still be split into 3 parts as there I can cover the main themes which are; Time Travel, Harems and Maverick ‘Motherfucker Hellspawn’ Storm. My initial plan was to have a quick lightening recap of everything that doesn’t fit into these categories and then review the Time Travelling and Harems but Storm became so big he needed his own part. Oh, and it should go without saying, but I will not cover the Mistletoe Asks. They are not relevant to the arc and are basically shipping fluff. No in-depth analysis required there. And with that said and done, let’s get right into it.

Its Recap time

So, as I mentioned before we get into the 3 big themes of this arc, I’ll cover really quick, and I promise it will be really quick here, anything that doesn’t fit into those categories. So firstly, we see that Kazuichi went around the Void Warehouse and helped fix their lights. Now that all of Class 77-B are aware of Void’s existence, they can help out with any problems they might have in their living quarters, which leads to a funny scene of Kazuichi getting attacked by a crow. This could be random but given what has happened with another seemly random event (more on that later) and the fact that Monocrow exists, this could be sinister foreshadowing for things yet to come. We also see Kazuichi getting ideas to build a robot with Chihiro as that’s his way of romance. Given Chihiro’s crossdressing tendencies, I wonder when the truth comes out and how confused our shark boy would be. But yeah, Kazuichi out all of the new Class 77-B members seems to have the most focus in this arc, not that I’m complaining as he was the most ‘pointless’ survivor from DR2 so him getting actual character development and focus I’m more then welcome for! There’s also Yoruko rekindling her relationship with her mentor Minako. This went better than expected then again it happened years ago, both Yoruko and Minako had time to reflect on it and both wanted to make up, but thought the other wouldn’t accept it. We also see some parallels here with Hiroko from UDG as Kizuna is revealed to be the result of a teenage pregnancy. As I mentioned in an ask, not to bog you down with personal details but teenage pregnancy is a serious problem where I live and too many people I know fucked as teens, didn’t use protection, and boom! Babies! Good thing I have a passion for Danganronpa so I DON’T get wrapped up in that kind of stuff eh? So, I completely understand Minako’s rational here, and Kizuna’s more troublesome behaviour as one of my RL friends was also the result of a teen pregnancy, and this led to her having…issues. And yeah, Kizuna shamelessly flirts with the Anons and talks about Josuke, no not THAT Josuke, simping hard for her. Naturally we have bigger problems to content with but once the weather calms down, we need to sort out Kizuna, especially now that Yoruko and Minako have made up. And that’s the two things that happened which weren’t relevant to the main themes. Now they are out of the way, time to move onto Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff. Hey, Emma made a Doctor Who joke already, so it’s okay!

Back to the Visions

Despite Time Travel being one of the main themes of this blog, not a lot of research has gone into it at the moment, so in this wind down time, it’s the perfect time for Umeko to do some experiments into time travel. Last Arc dropped the reveal that Mikako has being getting dreams of the future, and as Koroko and Umeko pull up at the Kisurugi household, we see that Mikako just had a dream of the Tragedy, which understandably horrified her. Because of this Umeko and Koroko were forced to tell Mikako, Yamato and his father the truth about the future. They omitted Kasugano and him changing the timelines as its not needed but well…when one dreams of an apocalyptic future you know is coming, there’s no sense in lying about it. Umeko then explains about the time travel and basically that since the brain surgery, Mikako’s brain has become a tachyon receiver that can pick up tachyon from different timelines, not just the one you are on. But it goes beyond being able to see the future via her dreams as if Mikako focuses, and someone touches Mikako during this time, they are hit with a vision of the future that involves them. The first vision was with Koroko and she caught a glimpse into a future much more distant then the 2017 that Hajime, Yoruko, Sora and the other 2 time travellers came from, as it seems to be from the Year 2020-2022 so pretty close to our time then. Here Koroko and Kanata, who not only went through a growth spurt like Hiyoko (Poor Hibiki, she is forever going to be the short one) and has married Nagito, are giving vaccinations to a young girl named Sayuri Hinata. Sayuri herself is very familiar to some people as during the last Arc when Akane was trying to comfort Nikei, one Anon asked about a timeline where she and Ayame had a child. This was a reference to Nextgenronpa which is a Nextgen AU on Instagram created by Mikwithnoando, if you happen to have an Instagram account, I highly recommend reading it, it’s really good! The character in question is called Sayuri Otonokoji the Ultimate Sculptor and in Nextgenronpa she’s the child of Hibiki and Iroha. Koroko looking through her medical records noticed her mother’s name is Hibiki Hinata so Hibiki obviously changed her last name, makes sense as she wants to probably be as far away from Otonokoji as possible now but no mention of the father and yes Sayuri looks a lot like Iroha. This has a few possibilities.

The first theory is that Sayuri is Hibiki and Hajime’s child, but both are very busy. Hibiki would have very likely restarted her musical career around this time and we don’t know what Hajime would be doing but he would be very busy as well, and thus not a lot of time to raise Sayuri. Now Iroha would have a very sedimentary lifestyle and given she is looking after Jataro at the moment, this would probably make Iroha one of the more experienced caretakers/mothers of the cast, so maybe Sayuri was often babysat by Iroha, and if Sayuri was spending a lot of time with Iroha at a young age, she would start to view Iroha as a second mother and start copying her behaviour and mannerisms. But that doesn’t evade the fact that Sayuri PHYSICALLY looks like Iroha as well. The second theory is something happens to Hibiki or Hajime and they are unable to reproduce but want kids. With Kyoji, making kids would not be an issue, but a surrogate mother would be required and maybe Iroha volunteered to be a surrogate. However, the big issue there is that Iroha is much younger than the Goodbye Despair cast, and as Mikan later points out legally, you need to be 21 to be eligible. Sayuri looking to be 8-10 years old means Hibiki and Hajime must have banged around now-2014 and Iroha won’t turn 21 until 2017 and Sayuri looks way older than 3-5 years old. But there is one more theory and the one I believe in. Just because Mikako can see the future, doesn’t mean it’s the timeline we are currently on, and you guys remember that awful, awful period during Oncoming Storm when Iroha was crushing on Hajime and wanted to join the Cuddle Puddle despite there being a significant age gap between him and Iroha? In our timeline, Yoruko was able to slap some sense into Hajime, he was able to see he was developing a Saviour’s complex and was able to grow and develop, and it also system shocked Iroha as well as she learnt that she needed to grow up as well. But what if that didn’t happen? I think that timeline is from one when the sense slapping didn’t happen and Iroha did wind up being part of the Cuddle Puddle, and Sayuri was the result of science from Kyoji and Iroha and Hibiki wanting kids. In addition to this we also see Kotoko in her teen years and she looks brilliant all grown up and the way she talked about ‘our mothers’ and Sayuri referring to Kotoko as a big sister, makes one believe that Mikan is successful in adopting Kotoko. Overall, while Sayuri is going to be a headache to decode, that future was nice and sweet, even if it gave Mikako mild seizures.

After Mikako recovered, Yamato wanted to see the future as well, and thus we get the second vision which is from the OG Timeline in 2014, as it shows some Class 79 tomfoolery with Haruhiko ‘testing’ Yamato’s jetpack and crashing into a tree, and Teruya being concerned for his bro. I know its 2014 because Class 79 was formed then and they didn’t bond for long before Utsuro showed up with an army of Monokumas and was like ‘Knock knock, it’s the upupupu train’ and we get the Proto Killing Game. At least Yamato gets to see his future friends for the first time. And Mikako doesn’t get that much of a headache this time so it seems that the further in time she looks, the bigger the side effects. The first vision was a decade into the future so the side effects were quite big but the second one was only a couple of years so the effects were reduced. It remains uncertain if Mikako has to trust the person in question for the vision link to be done because as much of a force of good this seer ability is, it can also be used for evil. Overall, lots of discoveries on Mikako’s abilities and some hope that not every future out there is filled with despair and there exists a timeline where the Quantum Crew do win. Now it’s a case of seeing if that’s the timeline they are on or not.

That summarizes part 1 with the recapping of minor details and the time travelling science! It’s a longer part then I wanted but with the recap at the beginning it cannot be helped. When we come back, I’ll talk about the Harems and the events surrounding them and hopefully that would be the new length I wish to aim for because this is more of my old length. Stay tuned people! - Review Anon

#danganronpa #a student out of time #submission

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lhne · 4 years

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James Turrell’s Into the Light at Mass MoCA

The first time I visited the Massachusetts Museum of Contemporary Art in North Adams, also known as MASS MoCA, I was almost overwhelmed by the space, stupefied by the immensity of, well, everything. MASS MoCA contains the largest contemporary installation space in America and thus offers a massive amount of room to explore a singular concept. This became evident as I delved into the work of James Turrell, which I was seeing for the first time. MASS MoCA had launched a retrospective of Turrell’s work, Into the Light. I was particularly interested in the centerpiece of the retrospective, a work entitled “Perfectly Clear”(1991) but I also visited an earlier work, “Hind Sight” (1984). In all, there were five installations of Turrell’s work in the retrospective, testament to just how much space MASS MoCA now has.

If you know Turrell’s work, you know that it deploys light in disorienting ways. All I could think about, in my initial response to it, was THX 1138, an early George Lucas film about a post-apocalyptic, Orwellian future, where humans live underground in a highly organized and technically advanced society, in which love is forbidden. When the protagonist, THX 1138, does fall in love, he is sent to a limbo jail, in which he wanders endlessly (fig 1,2). No matter which direction he travels in the white space, he ends up right back to where he started, like a glitch: a ghost in the shell.

Fig. 1 From THX 1138

Fig. 2 From THX 1138

It is easy for me to create a connection between a fragmented digital rendering--which I will refer to as a “glitch” or a “ghost in the shell”--and a negative feedback loop created in the human mind. Not only does Turrell’s use of light recall the sixties and seventies era of science fiction in film, but it seeks to force viewers into their own panopticon-like, subconscious hell.

Fig. 3 Hal from 2001: A Space Odyssey

Here I am thinking about 2001: A Space Odyssey in addition to THX 1138. In that earlier, 1968 masterpiece, David Bowman (the protagonist) is taken to a limbo space which Turrell’s work reminds me of. There is little agreement about what actually happens in 2001: A Space Odyssey, but my view is that Bowman ends up in an alien zoo as a result of the failure of the computer Hal (fig 3), which because of a glitch, a ghost in the shell, rejects its human programming and fails to deliver Bowman to his new imprisonment in what appears to be a timeless space. Perhaps Hal’s failure makes Bowman lose his mind, so that he can be more easily transmuted into his new holding cell. Although there are more human artifacts in this film’s landscape than in that of THX 1138, the room where Bowman resides (fig 4) nevertheless looks and feels disorienting. As an actual living space, it’s an illusion.

Fig. 4 From 2001: A Space Odd

The limbo-jails in THX1138 and 2001: A Space Odyssey parallel, to a remarkable degree, the installation of Turrell’s “Perfectly Clear,” with its cornerless walls creating a kind of white vacuum. I wonder if Turrell’s piece is meant to be likened to a zoo, or was he trying to create a feeling of transcendence? Turrell’s retrospective appeals to me because I am curious about the idea of hell spaces. Both “Hind Sight” and “Perfectly Clear” can be an intolerable and uncomfortable imprisonment, similar to what THX 1138 and Bowman suffered in their respective limbos. But for some people they can offer a kind of transcendence. In a sense it depends on how prepared they are. Voluntarily entering a space that feels like a vacuum can lead to real insight if we have prepared ourselves for the experience. But when an individual is not ready to for the self-exploration that these environments occasion, the result can be disturbing. When I experienced “Perfectly Clear,” I was afraid to let my eyes lose focus. I concentrated on seeing the seams in the room, which in fact was meant to be perceived as both seamless and without corners. Granted, the loss of focus can lead to a gain in insight. But I was scared of having a seizure or passing out. Moreover, Turrell’s work seems to command time and patience, which for some reason I felt like I did not have. I lacked the attention span that the work seemed to require of me. You can merely walk past or through a Turrell piece and say, Yes it was large and dark, or Yes it was large and bright. But in my first go through “Perfectly Clear,” I thought mostly of how I looked as I stood there. I thought of value. Who was valuable enough or well versed enough to stand here and consume the spectacle? Who had the correct baggage to process this information? I kept thinking about the types of people who were in the space with me and if they knew something I did not. My experience of “Hind Sight” was different. In fact, the contrast between “Hind Sight” and “Perfectly Clear” seemed to me a remarkable feat of curation. Indeed, “Hind Sight” became the most exceptional experience I have sustained in some number of years. When the docent told me to cross the threshold and enter this labyrinthian installation, where each turn blocked more and more light, I was completely elated and aroused, especially since I was leaving more and more light behind me. What was this space? No one had accompanied me. Could a gallery attendant have been watching me with infrared goggles? What is the value of this piece if I damaged it? Why would I want to damage it? Should I touch myself, my breast? Can I fart? Shall I get naked? I was allotted fourteen minutes to do nothing but sit in a darkness so complete I could not see the hand in front of my face. I could, conceivably, do anything I wanted for fourteen minutes--the amount of time it takes a human to see something in the dark, apparently. The amount of time it takes for an individual to pick up on what Turrell seems to have left behind. I sat still, my knees to my chest. I saw a light far, far away. There probably wasn’t a light. No, there was a light, I’m sure. Maybe not. Ok, there was a light and now I am beginning to see a kaleidoscopic effect. How interesting I thought. There were faces, so many faces, almost too many patterns. It was all moving quickly. I was out of breath at how frightened and elated I had become from the near incessant stream of visuals I was observing out of that singular, faint light. Then a voice from far off, from outside of this beautiful, cozy cave, calls to me. She tells me it is time to return. Like Orpheus leaving Eurydice in the hollows of Hades, I pull myself so pitifully back into the light. Interestingly, I watched several people bail out of “Hind Sight”. Was this because it created a sort of existential crisis? Were those who abandoned “Hind Sight” facing themselves in a void? Were they unable to make peace with their pasts and its transgressions? Can viewers handle what the colors and lights and darkness trigger in their mind?

After emerging from “Hind Sight,” I believed I had almost understood what it was Turrell wanted to explain to the audience. When I saw my lady docent I exclaimed, Tell me! What was being projected, a turning wheel in the light like a slide, or perhaps a viewmaster? She smiled and said, Nope. I exclaimed, Well what then? She said it is a little part of the wall they had sanded, illuminated by a cheap, faint light bulb—the source of all that panic and imagery that I have been experiencing a moment before.

As I read more about Turrell’s process and background, I am beginning to think that these pieces are designed to create a space where we can merely watch ourselves in a purer form, removed from objecthood, and interact more totally with our own perception of space-time. Whatever the case, “Perfectly Clear” and “Hind Sight” make it easier to understand why the Guggenheim describes Turrell’s work as “speaking to the materialism of light.”

Yasamin Safarzadeh is a native Angelino who has moved to Manchester, New Hampshire to pursue a Masters of Fine Arts degree and begin a new life on the East Coast. A published poet and art educator, Yasamin has always been drawn to underserved populations because of her background as a first generation American whose family escaped a country torn apart by revolution and coups.

In Manchester, New Hampshire, Yasamin has been working for the Currier Art Museum and YWCA to create accessibility to arts and career opportunities for underserved populations. In addition, she works to create safe spaces and events for the LGBTQ+ community and has been archiving and digitizing YWCA New Hampshire's rich history. She also works for The Dancing Lion, which brings so much pleasure to chocolate connoisseurs globally.

Photo by Arnold Imaging LLC

About the LHNE Collective

#James Turrell #mass moca

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sage-nebula · 5 years

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pokemon (games) and/or pokeani for the meme?

I’ll go ahead and answer for the anime, since although I prefer the games, I think the anime works better for memes like this.

the first character i ever fell in love with:

Ash Ketchum, way back in 1998. He was pretty much an instant fave for me, and no doubt contributed to my love of snark and sass (given that his name could have just as easily been Sass Ketchum and would have arguably been more accurate).

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Manon. I liked her well enough at first, but the way her stans constantly bashed and degraded Alan while using that degradation to prop Manon up (often by making him her trophy boyfriend, which is really disgusting when you consider not only the age, but the maturity difference between them) quickly ruined any fondness I had for her. The fact that she got off scot-free in the show without having to realize or own up to any of her own mistakes or shortcomings (while Alan took the fall for all of them instead) didn’t help.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not:

Mmm, I can’t really think of anything for this one. I don’t think there’s anything that I used to seriously ship in this show that I don’t ship now. There are casual ones I can think of that I no longer even casually ship, but even those were more of a shrug and acceptance rather than something I actively liked.

my ultimate favorite character™:

ALAN [SYCAMORE], FIRST OF HIS NAME, HEART OF A CHAMPION, SOUL OF A DRAGON. It’s honestly no contest. I cannot think of a single character in the whole of the PokéAni that could come even close to comparing with him. I still block on sight for any nonsense hatred or condemnation thrown his way, and I regret nothing.

prettiest character:

I mean … I know I’m biased, but …

My valiant dragon son is beautiful. I mean, in particular, his eyes …

He has dragon fire in his eyes. You don’t get much prettier than that.

my most hated character:

Paul. He’s straight up abusive to his pokémon, and him learning to give them the absolute bare minimum of care and praise at the end of a match (or losing to Ash at the League, which I literally do not care about at all) is not enough for him to curry favor or earn forgiveness in my eyes. He can go burn, and for that matter, he can take that bastard Damian from the OS right along with him as he does.

my OTP:

Ash/Misty will always be endgame to me, as well as Jessie/James.

I do think that it’s probable that Ash and Misty would end up dating other people as they grow older—that Ash would date Dawn for a while, for instance, and that Misty would have a relationship with Lana—but at the end of it all I think they’d find their way back to each other, once they’ve grown up and matured and realized that, while their first crushes on each other might have been puppy love back when they were kids, now that they’re older … it’s deeper and more meaningful than that. It’s real.

As for Jessie/James, I think those two are soulmates, however you want to interpret it. Maybe their relationship stays platonic forever. Maybe their relationship is romantic. Maybe their relationship floats in a nebulous space between platonic and romantic, undefined as Meowth rolls his eyes from the other side of the balloon. Whatever the case, I don’t really care as long as they’re together. That’s what matters most.

my NOTP:

Aside from the obvious ones of bestiality, incest, and pedophilia, my answer to this would have to be Alan/Manon. I never liked it to begin with because of the age / maturity gap between them (honestly, Manon acts like Bonnie, the show parallels her to Bonnie, and Alan is so mature people often mistake him for an adult despite Malva referring to him as a boy, how is this even a question), but between how the show handled their relationship and how the ship’s stans (who are always Manon stans, from my experience) handle it / treat Alan, I honestly want to scrape my brain out with an ice pick every time I’m reminded this ship exists. It’s a trashboat of epic proportions as far as I’m concerned.

favorite episode:

It’s less one single episode, and more one trio of episodes: OS022 - OS024, a.k.a. “Abra and the Psychic Showdown”, “The Tower of Terror”, and “Haunter vs. Kadabra.” Those three episodes left a major lasting impression on me as a kid, in a good way. That depiction of Sabrina as a villain with a creepy monotone, who had a small “doll” that represented her childlike innocence (that was still villainous in her innocence!), and the way she presented a formidable threat that no one else in the series had managed until that point … not to mention the backstory with how she drove her own parents away (and turned her own mother into a doll), how she was always waiting for her father to show himself again, how she drove herself to that point by obsessing over her powers (I would too, ngl) … man. I loved everything about that trio of episodes. I still love that trio of episodes. There are quite a few episodes in the OS that I turn to regularly whenever I just need something to watch, but I think those three are extra special.

saddest death:

LATIOS IN THE GUARDIANS OF ALTO MARE. At first I was like, “wait, did anyone who wasn’t a villain ever even permanently die?” AND THEN I REMEMBERED LATIOS AND HAD TO CLUTCH AT MY HEART FOR A SECOND. RIP LATIOS, YOU ARE MISSED.

favorite season:

It’s a tie between the very first season (Kanto), and the second season (Orange Islands). While both had their faults, what I like most about those two seasons that latter seasons (even in the OS, with Johto!) lack is how organic they feel. Kanto especially was created before the Pokémon Anime really decided on its identity, and chose a formula to stick to for successive seasons, most likely because they weren’t sure they were even going to get successive seasons back when they were making it (the series was supposed to end with Mewtwo Strikes Back, after all). As a result of this, we had some truly original episodes. We had the three episodes with Sabrina that I mentioned above, but we also had episodes like “The Ghost of Maiden’s Peak” with a Gastly that could talk for reasons unexplained and who impersonated humans to keep a dead girl’s legend alive; we had episodes like “Mystery at the Lighthouse” with a giant Dragonite that was never explained or seen again (also, still mad at Team Rocket to this day for attacking that poor baby); we had episodes like “Electric Soldier Porygon” where everyone traveled into the internet with Porygon to stop a computer virus (and give 800+ Japanese children seizures, but that wasn’t supposed to be part of it); and we had episodes like “Attack of the Prehistoric Pokémon” where Ash discovered that a bunch of fossil pokémon were living underground and, in the process of all this, almost got eaten by an Aerodactyl. And the Orange Islands, while slightly more tame, was similarly allowed to be pretty free and fun given that it didn’t follow the badge quest formula, and the Orange Islands weren’t drawn from the games, meaning that the anime team could do whatever they wanted with them. So between the anime not yet having a set formula in season one, and the anime being set somewhere completely new in season two, seasons one and two of the PokéAni had plots that were basically like:

That was every day in the first two seasons of the PokéAni, because the first two seasons of the PokéAni were already so goddamn weird, and they were better off for it.

Aside from how weird and strange the plot could get, though, I also feel that the first season especially felt a lot more organic than even the second because the effects of the journey were regularly shown on the main characters. They were lost pretty much all the time (which is why they needed to keep Tracey for Johto, tbqh; he was the only one who had a sense of direction). They were often dirty and longing for baths and laundromats. In “Wake Up Snorlax” they’re out of food and practically crying as the town they reach doesn’t have anything to offer them because it’s been so long since they’ve eaten. Ash, Brock, and Misty are two children and a teenager traveling across the continent by themselves. It makes sense that they wouldn’t always have a nice place to sleep, that they’d run out of food, that they’d be grimy and exhausted a good deal of the time, especially since they’re always lost. (They were lost for like 70% of the first season istg. The narrator even lampshades when it takes them two weeks to reach Vermilion City and they all cheer.) I really liked how the first season in particular showed them tired, grody, hungry, and lost for a good portion of the journey. It felt so much more realistic than the perfect, spotless journeys that came later on.

least favorite season:

Outside of Alan and everything to do with him, I’m not much of a fan of Kalos. I’m also not really a fan of Alola because I don’t think slice of life really suits this series as much as the adventure genre does, but it had some good cameo episodes and also has Gladion, so it has its good points, too.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate:

Paul and Manon. Paul in particular is incredibly popular and I will never understand it.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave:

Honestly, I’m not sure? I think the closest I get to this is Jessie and James, since they’re two grown adults constantly stalking and bullying a ten year old boy, which would be insanely worrying if not for the fact that said ten year old put them in their place literally every other day. (Plus I like to think they actually do really care about him at this point. It’s what I’d like to believe, anyway.) Maybe Cassidy and Botch would be better contenders, though. They have no redeeming qualities, they’re just assholes, but I’d still be super mega excited to see them come back.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave:

ALAN deserves better than all he has suffered, and definitely deserves better than this goddamn unappreciative fandom. He is a burned cinnamon roll, been through hell and back, slightly charred, and he deserves the world.

Apart from him, though, Ash every time he gets put through some hell because of fate or destiny or legendaries or whoever the hell has decided to mess with him this week. After everything that went down in Kalos, can we really blame him for going to Alola for a vacation? And yet he’s STILL pulled into Ultra Wormhole nonsense! My god, just let this poor boy rest, he deserves it!!

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship:

Listen, I’m not one of those fools that thinks it’s canon, but I always loved the fic trope of Giovanni being Ash’s father because he and Delia had a fling way back in the day and I am grateful to that awful musical for giving it to us. The angst potential is real for this one, and I also like the idea of Giovanni allowing Jessie and James to chase Ash all over creation despite how it completely tanked their careers and potential not just because it “keeps them out of the way,” but also because it’s a way for him to keep an eye on his son without them ever knowing that’s his son. There’s some good fic potential there.

On a more serious note, while I don’t think it’s “wrong,” or “nasty,” or “makes me want to cleanse my soul,” I’ve always kind of shipped Spencer/Delia, too. The idea of Spencer Hale and Delia Ketchum finding love together later in life, and Ash and Molly becoming step-siblings as a result, is one that warms my heart. I know that Molly’s mother comes back at the end of Spell of the Unown, but … well, that was just a post-credits scene and so it’s easy to ignore. Come on, let Ash have a little step-sister. Let Molly have the mother she always wanted. It’s what they deserve.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship:

I wouldn’t say I’m highkey invested in any romantic ship in this show, haha. I mean, let’s be honest, it’s not like any of them have a chance at development outside of small hints here or there, you know? So there’s no reason to get all up in a twist about it. So I think that most ships I ship could fall into this category. Cute, but no need to make a fuss about them.

#fandom meme #pokemon #pokeani #tangelomadness

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