#and the pain is very bad

[dix-rose]

my red flag is ignoring a problem until it actually becomes a bigger issue and then still choosing to ignore it because I’m just hoping it’ll go away on its own

#stupid shit #this applies to many many things #this week between Christmas and new years always gets me extra on edge #to the point where it is INCREDIBLY difficult to ignore the problems I’ve been ignoring #new years scare me #it reminds me of how far behind I feel in life #and even though I’ve accepted my fate in the fact that I don’t strive for a career and I simply just don’t want to die #it still makes me feel shitty when I think about how I’m going to be nothing more in life #it also brings on this insane pressure of the whole new year new me kinda thing #which I know is something I don’t HAVE to participate in #but you know fresh start fresh start #that’s a phrase I’ve been hearing too much here #reminds me of who I should be vs who I am #but rn the current problem is cramps related #they are INSANE #so intense #it’s been like this for almost two weeks and my period isn’t supposed to come until the 6th I think if I remember correctly #and the pain is very bad #I know people rn are like cry me a river #but there are days when I’m taking the strongest medicine I am allowed to take probably not supposed to be taking but taking anyway #and I’m still in a lot of pain #but I’m refusing to do anything about it because this year has been SHIT #and I keep thinking about the horrors of it being something really really bad #and I just don’t want to deal with that rn #my fears have been so intense too I feel like I’m basically re-living Jan through Feb of 2022 #I’m so fucking scared but I’m just trying to ignore it #so scared of being alone

[crybaby-bkg]

I think Deku has a bit of a mean streak, actually. he’s no Bakugou—that’s for sure—but he’s not this innocent, sweet angel baby that the media has painted him out to be. but you only catch it when you least expect it, when you’re pushing his nerves, when the stakes to everything around him are high, when he’s tired of endless sleepless nights and just—snaps.

“Oh?” you go, grin unfurling like some grinch, chin resting on your hands as you leer at him from across his expansive desk. “You’re mean.” your words are teasing, a snarl that curls your mouth up. Deku stutters, eyes going wide, jaw snapping shut in surprise as he tries to think back on how rude he just sounded.

“No, I’m not—I mean, you wouldn’t stop and I just—there’s a lot on my plate right now—and you just—you keep on—I’m not—I’m not mean.” He’s sputtering, hands all over the place, the glasses perched on the bridge of his nose falling even lower with how he jabbers on and on. it’s endearing really, to see how he tries to upkeep his image of being so kind and understanding, even though his nostrils just flared at you. and his eyebrows turned down and he gritted at you, his hands were balled into fists, his words were so nasty, so ugly, so unbecoming for Deku.

you liked it. loved it even—vowed to get him like this every single fucking second that you could.

you pick and poke at him whenever you see him, teasing him and pulling at him. pushing him around even though the hero is so much stronger than you, so much bigger. and he lets you, tries to defend himself but—that’s not what you want. you want the ugliness, the snark, the mean.

he snaps, eventually, when you least expect it. grabs you up in black whip when you go to push him against the wall for the third time in only a minute, his eyes suddenly dark, the aura of the room suddenly charged.

“That’s what I was looking for.” you whisper to him, the grin spreading your face quickly dissipating in only seconds when you become the prey. when you become the one pushed up against the wall with teeth at your neck, a hand in your underwear, bullying your hole with too thick fingers.

“Why do you want me to act like this? Be so mean to you, huh?” he sounds so frustrated with himself, with you, growling and nipping and licking when you don’t answer quick enough. but your breath is caught in your lungs because finally—finally, did you get what you wanted. it just took a little bit of pushing, you suppose.

#omg I wrote this idea down last night and couldn’t even type it up #bc I took some sleep meds and it put me out SO FUCKING QUICK???? #usually I don’t lay down until like an hour and a half or two #but it was literally like 40 mins and I was DONE!!!! #but I finally wrote it :D #there’s also been so much talk of him on the dash and i am. very much so liking this #I miss him bc I don’t think about him enough #but I also think he can be. so mean. like NASTY mean when his limits are pushed enough #ohhhh my god I wont him so bad #okay gn I took more meds bc my pelvis has been in so much pain???? #just the right side too??? omg AM I DYING GELP #—new treat in the streets! 🍫 #deku treats! 🍬

[tangledinink]

it's the gemaversary so leo gets to go off, as a special treat.

✩ the gemini ✩ [ start ] [ prev ] [ next ]

( next update is already available on patreon! )

#sure fuck it ill post an update #why not itll be fun hahahahaha #you know when like you wanna draw so bad but drawing is so hard and painful? gosh and golly #i am very busy and eepy but ; w ; we will still make things #rottmnt #gemini au #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #tmnt 2k18 #tmnt 2018 #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt disaster twins #rottmnt leo #rottmnt au #rottmnt separated au #rottmnt comic #rottmnt fandom #rise donnie #rise donatello #rise disaster twins #fidgetwing

[tubbytarchia]

Thinking about them still and always

So I was trying to do a meme redraw and halfway through realised that I mixed two memes up into one so now this is the result lmao. But either way I was thinking of these:

#every time I draw Doc his design changes a little bit haha pain #docm77 #jimmy solidarity #I dont want to keep labelling Jimmy “son” as if he's not man enough but. For the time being he is very son #I need Doc in his life just to provide him with a safe quiet place where he can begin some kind of healing. you know #Not all Jimmy teasing and stuff is bad absolutely not. But Doc wouldn't find comedy in almost any of it and call it off lol #and good for him #tubby art #Doc&Jimmy

[piss-stained-jorts]

BABYGIRL YOUR SMILE GIV ES ME LIFE I LOVE YOU

#fionna and cake #simon petrikov #the fucking RELIEF of knowing it won't just be simon having a Very Bad No Good Time Q ^ Q #like do not get me wrong i was going to stay i was just gonna be in So Much Pain #i love you sad old man i love you i love you #clawing at my face climbing the walls ripping my pillow to shreds i

[artbytesslyn]

its important to remember that long term chronic pain rewires your brain so even after you find a treatment plan that relieves some or all of that pain, you're still gonna have days where you wanna tear all your hair out.

it might feel like it's for no reason! but its cos your brain has new highways in it and traffic still goes thru there whether it makes sense or not

if you're having a bad day, just let your body have a break. Don't try to rationalize it cos the conclusion you might come to is 'wow even with treatment I'm useless' and that's always bad. If your brain and body are telling you "I Can't Do That Right Now", even if you can't figure out the reason, just listen

#tess talks #this is very hard to put into words #also you might be on meds that simulate the depressive episodes #that chronic pain aftermath might leave you with #the brain is extremely complicated #if you're having a bad day just let your body have a break #those mixed up signals of body pain and mental pain are #sometimes the exact same signals #you aren't useless for experiencing pain or the aftermath of it #chronic pain

[royalarchivist]

Phil: I know from my sister, she has chronic pain. But I don't see it as that severe, if that makes sense? Like, my sister has fibromyalgia, right, so I know all about chronic pain and like, how it can like, vary and how bad it can be, how it's like completely like, dishabilitating, you can't fckin' move some days, and if you go outside and do anything sort of just like, "normal" you can be out of commission for like, weeks.

Phil: So I don't really consider it as that bad, I'm trying to equate it more towards like, "Oh, I really hurt myself, and now it hurts a bit, and it's going to get better," kind of, you know. That's why I didn't want to make that kind of direct comparison. But... yeah, I can see why you would think it would be just like that though, yeah. But it's not that severe– in my head, anyways, I don't consider it as severe as actual chronic pain.

–

Phil explains why he doesn't consider q!Phil having chronic pain, despite the damage the Ender King did to his wings.

#Philza #QSMP #Phil #March 18 2024 #I personally saw it as chronic pain because I'm all for disability rep #and the way he described it was very reminiscent of chronic pain #but I think it's very sweet that he didn't want to make that comparison because his sister has chronic pain #and he knows how bad it can be #I dunno. That's just very considerate #but like he said – that was just his opinion on it #I don't think he'd care if people saw it differently

[a-memory-a-distant-echo]

i know that it's at partly just that i do not generally post when i ride, but fang duobing, bounciest boy on the screen at all times, posting incredibly dramatically, is very funny and charming to me. he really wakes up and is like 'fuck yeah, every day is leg day, work them thighs!'

like, sir. please. you're gonna die. how far are you riding. how can you possibly sustain that, you cannot, it is impossible. how will you walk when you get off that horse. your thighs will be of steel, by which i mean utterly incapable of moving.

#mysterious lotus casebook #fang duobing #anyhow i've remembered how to make gifs and it's gonna be everyone's problem #also this is not at all a dig #it's genuinely very charming to me! #he's a keener! he just can't help it! #but also for real: the thigh pain #excited to see how bad the tumblr compression fucks this up #sorry to actual horse people #i am not really a horse person just a person who grew up around horses #and so i know how to ride them for like...transportation reasons #you know? #i will never be a Good Rider or anything like that

[crabussy]

I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in my life and. I just feel like crying over that fact. a few years ago I was sure I’d be an anxious miserable wreck for my entire life but now I wake up and I love the world and I promise one day you will too. please keep going please hold the world tight. you will giggle at something silly with a stranger. a staff member at a place you frequent will smile when they see you. an elderly person will look at you gratefully for helping them. you’ll cry about stupid stuff and laugh about it later. you’ll drink cold water during a hot day and it will be the best sensation ever. being alive is the best thing I’ve ever experienced.

#WWWAAUUUGGHGH #IM VERY EMOTIONAL. I love living I love the earth I love my friends so much #it was. so bad a few years ago #panic attacks every other day. miserable most of the time. unhealthy habits. every day felt like a bad day #but then I managed to get out of an awful situation. and I made an effort to try and love the place I live now as WELL as being homesick * #* for my home country. and I fought to notice the little things. and I went outside even when I haaated the idea of it #and now???? I’m still disabled. I still have anxiety. I’m not yet back in my home country #but my god I’m so happy in life. it does get better. everyone was right #even though I experience severe chronic pain on the daily. even though I live somewhere noisy and hot and crowded. #life is silly that way :3 I promise it gets better. it’s so clique and it never sounds true but it is. it is #hopepunk

[witchspeka]

I love my girl Miwa but as soon as I read that this image immediately popped up in my head:

#HAVE SOME STANDARDS GIRL DAMN #i want this relationship to work out too but this aint it #how do we relationship #cine te a intrebat #uhmmm theres SPOILERS past this tag in case u care to read this yourself just a quick warning #i kid i joke but this scene fucks me up i like how this manga handles queerness. it shows how messy and painful it can be #like we already got a bit of that with sae and her relationship with sex but this mmmmmm this one i didnt see coming #imagine u work up the courage to confess to ur high school crush and she says she cant date you #not cause she doesnt like you. quite literally /because/ she likes you and wants to take ur relationship seriously and respect you #but she cant do that. because shes afraid of people finding out. of having to hide all the time. of being ostracised. she's tired. #she cant find the strength to do that. #the frustration of being loved but society denying you the possibility of being together... ill clown on Miwa (its very easy) but i feel bad #for her #gaud i need to sleep hai pa

[chiricat]

who is this guy

#cat’s art #project sekai #prsk #prsk fa #colorful stage #vivid bad squad #vbs #aoyagi touya #toya #prsk artstyle is so. painful. agh hate drawing in it agh aghhhhhh #if i were 100% honest i am very fond of mixed filo toya. maybe someday ill dive more into that anyways enjoy the little guy

[fox-on-the-moon]

just a little tip for fellow autistics: if a doctor asks “can you do x?” what they really mean is “can you do x without pain?”

Generally, if you just say “yes i can do that” they will assume you can do that thing painlessly and without issue at all times. you need to clarify “i can but it hurts a lot” or “i can only do this sometimes when x and y” etc.

They will also generally assume you won’t do things if they hurt too much, but a lot of us deal with pain very differently than an allistic person might. Even if some pain doesn’t stop you from doing something, you should still tell them you have it, it still “counts.” If you are not visibly (to them) showing signs of pain, they will almost always assume you don’t have any and you need to tell them otherwise.

#actuallyautistic #i keep forgetting this myself so maybe its helpful #for someone #bc like if only id known this at 16 lol #reminder that allistics are very very bad at reading cues that are different from their own #also #please look at the 1-10 scare with explanation for every number if youre like me you might have a wrong idea of what each means #'i can feel the pain constantly but still do almost everything' is already a 4

[batz]

hi! my names frank and im a 2spirit butch tht draws cartoons!:)

im physically disabled (eds & iih) and bc of the chronic pain stemming from that i’m unable to work a Normal Job. so i rely on commissions to help support myself and get by through the month!

ko-fi: ko-fi.com/franki

more examples of my art!

more commission info/rules!

#frank art #ok to rb #commissions #sorry this is VERY thrown together LOL #but its easy enough to read and thats ALL that matters:) #ANYWAY im super sick rn just dealing w rlly bad joint pain so. doin commissions so i can get edibles or smthn #anything 2 make my nerves stop screamin !!! #these r all commission examples except for th dhmis stuf

[sunnycanwrite]

grasping what it means to be chronically ill can be hard for people, as it can be different for each person. But most of us understand chronic fatigue, days of pain that feels like it will never end, being stuck in bed, having to set reminders to take necessary medications medications. Chronic illness is not a joke. It takes time to adjust to having s chronic illness.

So don't be an asshole when your chronically ill friends cancel on you. The about of energy I use trying to take care of myself on a daily basis doesn't much left for anything else. And understand they may have different needs, completely different foods to help deal with their conditions. Mobility aids, and parking closer to buildings. I can not stress enough, please park close for them. Understand that chronic illness is exactly that: chronic.

#The joys of chronic illness #I'm stuck in my bed #In so much pain #Fibro combined with the gluten I consumed yesterday #Very bad combo #Painful #Not fun at all #And got me thinking #chronically ill #chronic illness #chronic disability #chronic fatigue #chronic pain #disabled #disability resources #disabilities #disability

[zhongrin]

i have a feeling i'm about to regret this hsljdfklsdf

#rin rambles #this is a very bad idea methinks but i am in pain from cramps and i make bad decisions on these times anyway so-

[stressfulsloth]

Harry and his relationship with his own disability is so tragic to me. Because you have this man who is disabled in *so* many different ways, he's physically paralysed in his jaw, he's got severe nerve damage and internally his organs are going into shutdown due to the alcohol/drug use, but then on top of that you have the mental illness, the depression, the potential schizophrenia, the adhd/autism and you end up with this man who is in So Much Pain all the time from every imaginable angle. He's overstimulated every second of every day. Everything hurts him, including light and sounds. The world screams at him. He can't emote in a way that others relate to. Every inch of him physically hurts and he's one insult away from death. He can't get better- chronic illness is chronic illness, he's just going to be *like that* forever- so what is there left to do but get worse?

And then he's trapped in a system that values capital above human life. Capitalism treats disabled people like burdens but that won't stop them from wringing every last drop of life out of you. Empathy isn't profitable. The only percieved worth he has to the society around him is his productivity, his work for the RCM maintaining the status quo for capitalist interests, and its so entwined with *who he is* that it's impossible to separate him out from it. He is the Law. A force, not a human. He has to dehumanise himself to keep going. And really he does have to keep going, like a shark dying if they stop moving; there is no other option for him. What chance is there for him if he stops working? He's institutionalised- the RCM quite literally lives in his brain as esprit de corps. He can't escape them. He is the infernal engine. He will never stop. But his body, his health, are collateral damage. And to Harry, all that is inconsequential as long as he's doing his job.

#ugh i don't know if this makes sense but my excuse is that i also am having a Very Bad No Good chronic pain day #and my brain is scrambled egg #something something the way capitalism treats disabled people is very literally evil and the game shows that very well #disco elysium #harry du bois #harrier du bois #DE rambling