#and that was the first symptom i experienced-

[exchangestudentnova]

Dr. Baizhu has his eyes set on you. He's so in love with you that he's willing to make you immortal as well so that the two of you could be together till the end of time.

Just like the rest of Liyue, you also had absolute faith in his Universal Diagnosis and Holistic Revivification but you don't fall ill so offen. You accompany the little children who's parents are too busy in their pursue of earning money in the harbour. Baizhu loves your little visits to bubu pharmacy, where you'll drop the kid off, talk to Qiqi, talk to Baizhu about the children's medication and take them back. He wishes to have a proper conversation with you but you don't seem to stay around.

Your head hurts. Suddenly from 2-3 days it started hurting in waves. Yesterday the pain was too much, so much so that you couldn't keep your eyes open and had to lie down.

"Dr Baizhu I took the medicine you gave yet I don't feel better. I hope it's not something bad." Baizhu places his hands under your chin and lifts it up to meet your eyes. "Don't fret dear, you can trust my Herbal Nourishment. You'll be fine in no time." So trust you did.

He treated you with utmost love and care, both medically and personally. But you noticed one thing. The more you went to Baizhu, the more.....'bizzare' your symptoms became. Symptoms that when others experienced, Baizhu would send them home with medications, but he asked you to stay with him, 'to keep an eye on you' he says

You lay on his bed, your body's temperature as high as humanly possible. It is becoming difficult for you to breath through your nose, the sound of you panting desperately for air filling the room. " Issssn't it wrong of you to keep this human conssssently ill" you could here the snake around his neck speak up. "Ah no worries, I will make sure their condition doesn't worsen, yet they are obliged to be under my care. After all the first they'll do when they wake is go back home. Now we can't have that can't we" Your head hurt too much to focus too well on his words, yet you still managed to crack open your eyes look up at him, seeing his Attentive Observation on you, a delightful smile on his face.

What can we say? He always had his eyes set on you.

#baizhu #genshin impact baizhu #yandere baizhu #yandere genshin #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact #yandere genshin impact x reader #yandere #yandere male #yandere x reader #gn reader #gender neutral reader #yandere blog #elemental skill #elemental burst #constellations

[tinybubblesyay]

How is it my family/friends, who dont mask, haven't gotten hit with the plague but me, who wears one everywhere they go, has gotten it 3 times! Fml.

Send soup. And notes if you're in my history class.

#ok to interact #if you wanna rebloob add on with your experience that's chill. #covid19 #covid #the plague #coronavirus #you know. i once got a palm reading from a friend #and she said that my life line was short so i could end up living to 50 #and i hear that covid is a mass disabling event- and catching it can lead to unknown issues later in life #it's over for me boys. ive been Beetlejuice'd with it. #my joints feel achy #I'm coughing n shit. and like- #i wouldn't call it light headedness. or dizzyness #but sometimes it feels like. a very mild version of that? and I'll feel myself bob in a circle. #and that was the first symptom i experienced- #send soup and Benadryl. knock me out please i am but a man with a cold #oh also when i cough it has started to have a taste! yippee! it's kinda metallic... not blood tho #don't worry!

[goldkirk]

Got my first meeting with a psychiatrist in over a year since the last one demanded details about trauma when I was visibly sweating and shaking! Let’s hope today goes much better and that I have the prefrontal cortex online enough to leave if necessary instead of tolerating that kind of thing again

#note to everyone: if you say ‘I experienced xyz’ to a medical professional #on your FIRST VISIT #they are NOT supposed to require further and further details before moving the conversation along #they should take you at your word and realize that’s not the important part #the important part is hearing what symptoms you have had for how long and how they impact your daily life #so they can help you #NO ONE needs the details unless you choose to share them on your own time #and if someone is pressing you for things you’re not ready to talk about #LEAVE!!!! get up and LEAVE #i know that now #personal #this isn’t about sleep I’ve been going downhill in certain areas for weeks and haven’t gotten the boat to turn around #so I’m asking to start back on meds BEFORE things get really bad #i was planning to wait for the fall #but I’m struggling so much and I shouldn’t have to be #so. SSRI and asking about nonstimulant ADHD meds it is #the good thing is that while my self worth and competency and anxiety are in the toilet again #Im at least not feeling depressed and I’m not having all the sleep trouble I used to or the void feeling #my PTSD symptom improvement is still there it’s just anxiety and ADHD kicking my ASS

[neversetyoufree]

When does the choice of weapon become an expression of love?

#experiencing the symptoms of mental illness today #long post #also yes I know that 'the first time I tried to kill you' refers to a different scene than the one I screenshotted #but I wanted the implied parallel of will being unable to kill hannibal in that scene vs vani being unable to kill noé later #whereas the actual first time he tries to kill him they just get interrupted lol #vnc #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #hannibal #vnc spoilers #comparison #ID in alt text #the vanoé agenda

[grumpyoldsnake]

Health paranoia is annoying as heck. >_>;

#am I 70% certain that half of the sensations I’m experiencing are just fuckin’ anxiety? #yes #does the fact remain that my back and arm have been painful and/or numb off and on for a while now #and that just now I felt properly lightheaded for the first time since my med change? #also yes #(the arm/back bs is real and I have an appointment tomorrow.) #(the lightheadedness is SUSPICIOUSLY precisely timed with me worrying about heart attack symptoms 🙄) #edit: 98% certain. shockingly I felt fine after being distracted for 10 minutes. who could have guessed! #arm and back are still v unhappy though. so. yeah. appointment tomorrow I guess #life flails #health flails #complaining #my stuff

[cyeayt]

Back on my bullshit answer my questions

while doing some rudimentary research for this poll it has come to my attention that pins and needles are a feeling felt while the limb is asleep, not the period of intense sensation/tingling/sensitivity experienced while it comes back online. or maybe it's both? the stuff i read referred to it as tingling that happens while the limb is pinned/under pressure/numb. i cannot find anything that references what i have come to think of as "the agony" but ive referred to it as the pins and needles in the options for this poll anyway.

Mild: limb has muted sensation but can be moved and used carefully, pins and needles begin almost immediately after limb is moved from whatever position caused it to fall asleep. Pins and needles not painful and do not appear painful, and last a few seconds, person affected is capable of speech and moving other parts of their body during pins and needles, which last a few seconds.

Middle intensity: limb is numb or partially numb and can twitch but not be moved precisely. Pins and needles begin a few seconds after limb is unpinned or when it is moved. Pins and needles not painful but intense and appear uncomfortable, taking a lot of the affected person's attention/capacity. they last between 5 and 7 seconds.

Intense: limb is numb and cannot move/be used, pins and needles begin 5-7 seconds after the limb is unpinned. pins and needles are intense and may be painful or not painful but 'unbearable', causing the affected person to cry out, grimace, or otherwise appear to be in pain. Person cannot speak or move their other limbs during pins and needles, which last 10 or more seconds (without shaking) and have residual tingling for a few seconds after limb regains movement/becomes bearable to move

obviously this all depends on how long the limb was pinned but just answer whichever is the most common for you, and if you want you can put in the tags what positions make your limbs go numb/how you deal.

#polls #poll #tell me your secrets #idk i was just shaking out my hand but im sick/tired rn so i was actively crying out and was thinking #that limbs falling asleep/pins and needles are a very common and intensely unpleasant experience #and its kinda fuckin weird that we as a society dont talk about it more #and that it can be brushed off or be a single line in books n stuff #and like theres a lot of things that get done dirty in books for how intense/scary/dangerous they are irl #like the first time i got the wind knocked out of me and thought i was dying cause its only ever described as #getting the wind knocked out of you #rather than you can't feel the air coming in and out of your lungs #and the only way you can tell youre not dying is that you aren't experiencing air hunger #which can happen when you are dying in certain situations so fuck if i know #and like headrush like i see new colors/lose track of reality/twitch or faint when its real bad and in books its always like #a bout of dizzyness or some shit #and before i get called out yea i know what an iron deficiency is #also rip to all book characters who've been knocked out for several hours after a head injury or passed out from blood loss lol #anyway #then theres shit like my psycosomatic faux asthma symptoms or swallowing issure or the foot thing that are unique to me as far as i can tel #and boy howdy does that suck shit #but to conclude #bodies are weird why dont you tell me how yours works.

[wtf-amiru]

y’all I finally got my official adhd diagnosis today and I’m still too excited about it to sleep

#maple rambles #medical misogyny is so fun #watching three males get diagnosis’ over the phone in under a week #and having to say the same thing to doctors and psychiatrists for years on end #being told it’s just anxiety or depression #and never getting any relief #grinding my face into the same blatant symptoms for ages #I’m so relieved #my diagnosing psychiatrist tried to tell me adults grow out of adhd in the same breath #it was wild #I verbally corrected him #literally if you type do people grow… #into google one of the first results is out of adhd #and literally every article that comes up says no #lmao #he also tried to tell me we didn’t talk about my childhood at my last appointment #I corrected him on that too #and after he found out who my new doctor was I could hear him deflate #she’s a woman who takes no shit #even with me #she’s given me stern shit before for generally forgetting things and not looking after myself #shit I deserved don’t worry lol #anyway #I’m still experiencing the dopamine high #can’t sleep #might work on my jinx figure for a bit

[vimbry]

saw a really fun show tonight! got home took pee and became an ex-member of the never passed out club

#it's oversharing time on tumblr bc I'm a little freaked and have never fainted before haha #we got home and I just suddenly got a lot of pelvic discomfort and nausea like food poisoning #at some point I was thinking oh better go tell my mum in case she needs the bathroom/wondering why I've been up there a while #hey listen don't come upstairs I'm gonna poop massively #and apparently I did actually do that. but I don't remember because the next thing I saw was her looking over me on the floor downstairs #so I still feel like I dreamt that conversation and also the first few things said to me waking up #which is probably normal for passing out right. #really surreal and not a fun thing to happen. fortunately only happened for a few seconds but felt like I was out longer #I'm sure experienced faintees are looking at this as no big deal but it kinda shook me ngl #I'm better so I think I'm just dehydrated (I do drink through the day. maybe it's still not enough as it should be tho?) #but apparently I went grey and blue lipped which is just scary for everyone! I'm ok now #I'm just lying here searching my symptoms and going hm. fascinsting like a cartoon scientist in-between being dramatic and scared #I never did poop

[shanedoesdoodles]

You ever look for a specific word/thing to describe a feeling you're having and think you've found it but as you look more into it it turns out it was a simular concept but very distinct from what you were looking for? And then when you try to be more specific everything that pulls up is still the same close but definitely not the same thing to describe it? I'm a stuck in a bit of a loop at the moment

#Been having this odd feeling of just. Nothing being real I guess. Or just me not being real or events not feeling real #I was trying to find a word for what I was experiencing and found 'Depersonalization' and 'Derealization' #(I think I spelled those correctly) #From a first glance the descriptions fit perfectly but as I read more in depth it. Didn't quite fit #It felt adjacent to the unreal feeling I've experienced but definitely not the same #It's like a different flavor #I don't feel detached to my surroundings and myself #I just. Don't feel very real. Or at least very human at least #I don't say that as in im something more than human or anything like that #More like something about me specifically just falls short of being one #And with the events thing it's more just like so much has happened and they've all been so bizarre that they just. #Don't feel real either! #Like yes I'm still experiencing them and being effected by them #But it feels more like the way dreams or over dramatic stories go if that makes since #I still haven't found the right words for these feelings. I hope I do eventually. #I feel like knowing what's causing it/what it is would help ground me more #Whatever it is those two words definitions/symptoms just don't feel right #Does this count as a vent?? I mean it not really a solely negative feeling #I do feel like it could be upsetting/unsettling to others and my come off as venty so I'll mark it as such just in case #tw vent

[punkindness]

long rambling personal about chronic pain under the cut

on thursday's pt session they were having me work with someone different cause my usual was taking time off. he asked if anywhere hurt more during an exercise and i said my knees and he got all serious and had me do a thumb hypermobility stretch and asked if eds runs in my family, if i experience any other joint pain and for how long. i told him 'uh idk' and 'yes all over' and 'as long as i can remember but it's gotten really bad in recent years and i also have nerve pain' and then we just kinda looked at each other. and then he was like '...alright keep going with the exercise, i'm thinking' and at the end when he said goodbye he seemed like sad or guilty and opened the door for me and i didn't realize why at the time because the session had been harder than any of the others but not like insane but OH MY FUCKING GOD has my pain been bad this weekend. it's times like these that i'm glad i live with my family.

and also. i researched eds in more depth and. it's fucking uncanny. how the hell did this not come up when i was researching before because it is like exact and touches on some symptoms i hadn't even considered to be related to my pain. if it's not heds it's probably hsd i guess?? which is

#i was really weirdly happy at first when everything but the skin stuff was accurate to my symptoms #just cause for so long i've thought my pain was all in my head that i was going crazy #after the lower back xray and the arthritis blood tests came back normal i didn't know what else to think #so suddenly being able to find a community of people who are experiencing the same kind of symptoms and pain #and sharing tips for how to get through it? it's so cool! #but that sort of honeymoon phase in regards to it only lasted a day or so because this flare up is fuckin rough #now i'm mostly trying not to be worried about my abormally high heart rate #and trying not to give in to the allure of screens when i inevitably wake up in pain in the middle of the night #(i obviously broke tonight lol) #personal #vent #also the timing of this was insane because i made a friend with eds a few weeks ago and even did a quick google #afterwards cause we are both so similar that maybe our joint pain also has the same cause? #but i didn't even let myself get past the words “hypermobility” before exiting out because i've never considered myself to be flexible #if i had even kept scrolling for 10 more seconds i would have seen the line up of symptoms that almost completely matches mine lol #sorry for the rambling prolly gonna delete later im just tired and cant stop thinking about it cause yknow #pain

[artheresy]

Hmm, I’m so tired, but I’m happier today :]

#today was a good day #i finally met with a rheumatologist and finally am closer to getting the answers i need #it feels so refreshing to see someone actually take my pain seriously #she actually confirmed so much of what i had thought #she literally felt the inflammation and pointed out things even i hdnt realized #i swear i could cry from how happy that made me #and she suspects a few things which shes testing me for #one she didnt ask for a test for bc its hard to get #but suspects I might have is hEDS which i had already suspected #like one of the first i suspected #and to see that confirmed eithout me even initially bringing it up like shes the one who brought up ehlers danlos after hearing my symptoms #sorry just as someone whos experienced this pain since I was around 7 years old maybe younger #whos had my sleep ruined who has completely lost my energy to do anything who had my mental state worsened bc of the pain #seeing someone take it seriously when it used to be brushed off as growing pains makes me so jappy

[area51-escapee]

I have a hard time understanding why doctors will refuse to order tests for things a patient suspects they have just because they’re dismissing the idea they could have it. Like especially in the US, ultimately running a bunch of tests will cost me and my insurance more money, if I’m looking too far into something that’s nothing then I’m the one who’s out of luck, and if I’m looking into something that turns out to be something, then isn’t it good that I was better safe than sorry?

#I was listening to a thing about a guy #who had been experiencing a bunch of mysterious symptoms #and through Reddit he discovered what Cushing’s syndrome was #so he brought it up to his doctor who basically laughed at him and told him he couldn’t possibly have that #and said that he hated the internet now because people do research on these illnesses #anyways the guy found a new doctor and a specialist saw him #took one look and knew right away it was Cushing’s syndrome. ran the necessary tests. it was Cushing’s syndrome #and he got the treatment he needed #and I hear these stories all the time #and it bugs me because like #what would it have costed that first doctor #to just say ‘okay let’s check it out then’ and refer him for the tests? #literally the only explanation I can come up with #is that it’s a pride thing

[doriantomybasil]

i’m in the process of stopping my medication because it wasn’t working so rn i’m only taking half the dose i used to and i’m dizzy and it feels like my spine is on fire i want to die

#i talked to my doctor calm down #on top of all that i also have a cold #so basically this has been one of the worst days of my life #this is the first time i’m ever experiencing withdrawal symptoms and god fucking hell its so bad #but it’s like not even that bad tho like i can function #i’m only shaking a little bit but that might be because of the cold #so yeah it’ll be a fun couple of days

[yea-baiyi]

ok i’m working off my own aro revelation here but grey-aro xie lian who is experiencing romantic attraction for the first time w hua cheng, and that’s why the whole experience feels so startling and new and foreign

#tgcf #tgcf meta #meta stuff #rambling #xie lian #xianxia jesus #sorry i’m still working through my words here #but as a possibly aro likely greyaroace person #i’ve realised that romantic attraction really is this irrational and intense thing that i’ve just never experienced #how one psychologist described it as ‘everything about them is different. everything they do is special’ #and yeah i imagine if i ever experienced that level of attraction to a person for the first time now it would be OVERWHELMING #and honestly that’s how xie lian’s entire experience reads to me #like. sorry an allo person would not be this level of shocked and also oblivious to the Symptoms Of Crush #yeah i’m trying to figure out how to express this. if anyone has ideas hmu

[andromedako]

i hate being a hypochrondriac. genuinely.

#emil.rtf #wish healthcare was fucking free so id be able to like exist as is and if i worried smth was wrong i could go get it figured out #anyways im saying this here bc im sure my friends are tired of me saying how im worried i have smth #despite it being unlikely that i have it #all bc someone like... 3 months ago got it on campus (dont know who still) and a class i was in had to get tested #which is what fueled it in the first place #like im sure i would be worse if i actually had it. its smth that actually fucks you up. and yet. and Yet. #i show like 0 symptoms. what i am experiencing can be explained away. and yet. #sorry i just. im tired of freaking out over this

[drlavenderpepper]

i really don't think we talk about this one enough

#'it's easy to say ''i only need 5 seconds with you than a lifetime with someone else'' than it is to live it' makes me PHYSICALLY ILL #like JESUS CHRIST PETER #it's my favorite one and like. no one talks about it #but seriously that one line is SO sick and twisted it's haunted me since i first read it in 2019 #experiencing physical symptoms over pete wentz's blogspot entries i fucking guess