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headspace-hotel · 1 year

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3 questions:

1. How do you carry the heavy burden of having so many correct beliefs plus the rare combination of motivation and the right approach to making the world a better place? 2. Does your back hurt?

3. What do you think about David Pearce's utopian idea that a sufficiently technologically advanced future society could and should one day abolish (or at least minimize) suffering, partly by redesigning the biosphere and its inhabitants to be kinder and gentler to each other? IMO that could involve bioengineering predation out of existence.

Sorry if I already asked you about this. You seem very smart and seem to know a lot about ecology so I want to know your thoughts

1. Half the work is fighting very hard against starting to believe this very thing (that I have correcter beliefs than many other people). I hope my posts inspire y'all to read things that are not posts.

2. Not really.

3. The term you're looking for is "life on Earth goes extinct."

But, okay, I've seen this sentiment before, and it is—not that you are, just that the idea is— a naive and arrogant approach to ethics in nature

I don't think it's wrong to change the biosphere. That's what life DOES. It evolves.

But "ending suffering" is an impossible goal because we don't, and in some ways can't, understand suffering scientifically. Suffering is an internal state that is defined only by the perceiver's experience of it. We still do not know the ins and outs of how physical pain works in humans, let alone spicy, obscure emotions like Existential Angst.

People who are concerned with the problem of suffering in nature focus on predation and pain in the animal kingdom—understandable if you have thought about it for under five minutes, but hopelessly incomplete and arbitrary if you consider that a creature's ability to feel and perceive is not determined by how humanlike it is.

There is no reason to think a plant or a mushroom is less capable of "suffering" than a lobster is. Plants and fungi are different; they are not simpler or less advanced or less alive than animals.

The corollary to this is that being marginally more humanlike doesn't mean that a creature "suffers" in the way a human does. When you think about it, living things can perceive "negative" stimuli because the ability to do so helped their ancestors survive. A solitary creature, for instance, wouldn't experience loneliness because being with others of its species isn't really necessary or beneficial for it. It's very likely that a creature that can't change its behavior to accommodate for or help heal an injury, can't experience continuous pain like we can. Does that mean they don't "suffer" as severely as we do? I'm not sure. It's impossible to say. I'm sure we all experience the world profoundly—I'm sure the perception of light by a bryozoan colony and the subsequent growth toward the light and feasting on algae "feels" as potent and spiritual as any of my complicated chordate emotions.

Long story short, stimuli like pain were adapted as responses that help a creature survive by avoiding things that are injurious to its survival. To eliminate suffering, you'd have to invent creatures that don't want to be alive, which would die out and be replaced by creatures that do.

Inventing creatures that don't want to be alive somehow sounds way more fucked up than anything that already exists.

But, hi, we are social creatures. Our survival instincts are overwhelmingly oriented toward seeking safety with other humans. PTSD is a disorder of social misplacement; it develops when the communities we live in don't properly acknowledge and care for our hurt after a distressing experience. We evolved to be able to communicate pain and distress to other humans, which means being aware of our own suffering, and that others can suffer, which explains why we are having this conversation, because wanting to relieve other creatures' suffering is a quality of our species.

I get tags on my posts sometimes referencing how nature is a brutal suffering machine—often when I'm talking about plant cognition and awareness—and it's troubling because that's not the takeaway I want people to have at all.

Because first of all, a healthy ecosystem working "as intended" does a lot to minimize suffering. People see predation as this violent and brutal thing, but for a deer, death by festering injury or starvation or parasite overload related to overcrowding or even old age is a lot more nasty and painful.

A biosphere without predators is unavoidably worse. The buffer on prey populations that predators provide creates optimal conditions for prey, because otherwise, the animals just reproduce to the point where the population can't increase any more because the animals are too sick/starving.

Predation ensures a deer with a horribly mangled broken leg will get picked off instead of limping around for months in pain (something i actually witnessed!). It's not evil. It just is.

If you really wanted to eliminate suffering, you would have to eliminate being alive, and to be completely honest, that is probably not possible. We could not render the Earth completely empty of even single celled organisms if we dumped every toxic chemical into the atmosphere and bombed ourselves with every nuclear weapon. We would still have tough bastards like Deinococcus radiodurans around, and those guys would probably eventually evolve into organisms with the capability to experience pain all over again.

Abiogenesis may be a bitch but life, once it exists, is a Pandora's box that can't be unopened. The first thing to be alive also invented death, and there's no way around that. The monkey-typewriter-room of molecules that let you understand that you exist are going to write out "WOW, THIS FUCKING SUCKS" every once in a while.

When you think about it, the ecosystem as it naturally evolved probably is one of the most low-suffering possible ecosystems, assuming that things that can be considered "suffering" evolved as survival mechanisms, and unnecessary mechanisms for suffering would be eliminated over time due to the detriment they are to survival.

Living things develop survival mechanisms, and this means the ability to distinguish good and bad stimuli. Can't get around that.

Even with the existence of predation and parasitism as important modes of survival, such overtly ""antagonistic"" relationships in nature aren't even dominant. A staggering portion of the biosphere is engaged by necessity in mutualism—most plants form mycorrhizal symbioses and flowering plants are also symbiotically joined to pollinators, not to mention that plants need each other to thrive.

You can view this positively (plants have friends!) or negatively (plants can get lonely...)

#random #ecology #life #no suffering without joy and no joy without suffering

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gayalienwilde · 8 months

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For this week's theme, I wanted to share an analysis of a dynamic I wish we'd seen more of in the movie: Curt and Jack collaborating (+ a bit on their relationship with Brian).

The movie tells us that Jack is a "true original", and it implies that so is Curt, but it also adds that "everyone stole from Jack", so Jack was super popular in the '60s but we know that, by the time Jack finds Curt in Berlin, some of the youngest glam fans didn't know who Jack was, which is not surprising since even in real life there are many examples of artists that have inspired other famous people but have later fallen into obscurity, even more so when they're part of a minority. Before Berlin Curt was struggling to make music with Brian (more about that later), so of course working with Jack they're able to make what, I'm assuming, ends up being a popular record since we see later at the death of glitter concert that Jack is the host and back into the public's attention. It's easy to imagine Curt and Jack being able to connect with one another, not only because of their creativity but also because of their shared experiences with Brian, but while we see Brian literally steal the pin from Jack alongside stealing his crew and ideas, with Curt it's a bit more complicated.

The first time Brian sees Curt in concert he's immediately smitten, but he's also envious of Curt's performance, so when he's finally able to work with Curt it's obvious that his infatuation with Curt as a fan and his infatuation with his talent don't fit well together, producing Curt is a way for Brian to be able to claim some of Curt's talent and be able to put his name near his and also somewhat posess him under the company's name, he is also able to steal some of his identity in a way when they become a duo, since they're now connected and one cannot exist without the other in the eyes of the public, but this fantasy doesn't last long. When Curt's free spirited creativity starts to dull under the restrictions imposed by the recording company, he stops matching the image of the rockstar "Curt Wild" that Brian had created in his mind, so of course when choosing between siding with the recording company and siding with Curt as simply a person and not his rock persona he chose the company.

Valuing talent through the lens of having or not having a public is what distorted Brian's view of what being an artist means since the beginning, Jack Fairy being adored by the patrons of the Sombrero club and Curt being despised by the festival goers is all the same to him, Brian Slade cannot exist without having a public that perceives him, and we're shown this with him performing as Little Richard (already copying someone else) as a child in front of his family, in comparison we see Jack as a child become his own persona alone in his room in front of a mirror, the difference between a true original that can exist alone on it's own versus a copy that needs something to base itself on and also needs some form of external acknowledgement of its existence.

These childhood memories not only show us the differences between Jack and Brian but they also show the similarities between Jack and Curt since they both use their past traumas as fodder for their creativity, Jack using the blood from his lip as lipstick and Curt going bonkers whenever he hears electric guitar, because of the electroshock, are both examples of this. Curt's spontaneous and unrestricted creativity was probably free to flow with Jack (as opposed to the recording company) since they could relate to one another, and I really wish we had gotten something more about them working together in Berlin.

There's also another way that Jack and Curt's relationships with Brian could be seen, that is as a metaphor of the music industry: stealing from indie artists, suffocating creative people with the obligation to comfort to certain standards, measuring their worth only through how many fans (aka customers) they have and rewarding mediocre mass appeal (Tommy Stone).

And that's it, I would have liked to say more about Curt and Jack, but I got nothing left at the moment, feel free to add any ideas you might have. Also, this ended up having a lot more Brian analysis than I predicted lol I would love to make some Brian vs everyone analysis posts and get more into the details of Brian's relationships someday, despite him being an asshole I still really like Brian as a character, love to hate him.

#pointed epigram #velvet goldmine #25yearsofvelvetgoldmine #velvetgoldmine25th #movie analysis #for this week's maxi challenge lmao #Curt Wild and Jack Fairy you will always be famous <3 #Brian Slade dni #wish I wasn't so busy this month or I would have already written all the Brian analysis jdjdndjd

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letswritestories101 · 1 year

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How to deal with the fact that nobody is reading your story? Unfortunately, English is not my first language, I can write my fan fictions in my native language-only. I write for a not-so-popular fandom wich I am fond of, and I have plenty of ideas. I spend pratically every hour of my free time writing, editing, reserarching, sharing my WIP on AO3, and my last saga is nearly 400k words. But I'm... lonely. (continue...)

Hi Anon 👋🏽 and welcome to my blog.

No need to apologize, I don't mind answering your question one bit and I'll do what I can to help. I'm delighted that you think I can help :) Well, let's get started.

The good old question that plagues you, plagues me and many other writers: How to deal with the fact that nobody is reading your story?

There's nothing more frustrating than writing into a vacuum. And I'm not going to come here saying that we write for ourselves, because we do, but we share with others. And wanting validation is normal and a very strong desire. We write and share because we want to discuss our ideas with the world, we want these ideas to talk to others and we can engage. We are social beings and there's nothing wrong with being sad because you feel like no one cares. Of course, there are writers who make entire sagas just for themselves and feel satisfied and that's fine. They are also not wrong.

But, some of us want engagement. Conversations.

And in your situation, you still have the aggravating factor of being a non-English language in a little-known fandom. I understand your pain. English is not my first language either. And here's what I can say, what I've learned from my own experience:

Look for a fanfic site in your language (if any) - AO3 is amazing, the best fanfic site I've seen in my life. But, ingably, it is for a mostly English-speaking readership. Which makes it difficult to read in other languages, making it worse in more obscure fandoms. In my mother tongue, there are at least two famous fanfic websites. See if they have any in your language too. It may even have little engagement at first, but AO3 also has this difficulty so it might be a good try. But, don't forget to read the copyright.

Look for fandom communities in your language - Here on tumblr we have a writeblr and specific fandoms. Search in your native language for groups in that fandom! There must be fans of your fandom in your language besides you, there were in mine. Tumblr is worldwide so try to write things related to your fandom in your native language! Or similar websites in your native language! REblog posts with comments in their native language, I've found many minh speakers thus lost in various English tags.

Publicize your work - It differs a little from the tip above because in this case, you will originally publicize your work in English. But, that's the trick, warning that the language of your fic is in your native language. Many people speak other languages but interact in English because it is more common. So talk about your fic here on tumblr in English, emphasizing that the fic is in your native language.

Translate your work - Honestly speaking, the world of fanfiction and fandom is… English. And like it or not, that's where most of the public is. I publish my work in English, but I can also only write in my native language. So one of my tips is translate. Write your work as you always have and translate it into English. It is more laborious and complicated, but there is a lot of support today. There are entire programs for translation and you can only make small corrections, like for some idioms. Looking for a beta can also help. And of course, you don't have to abandon fics written in native languages. You can publish both at the same time.

Remember why you write - While wanting validation is not wrong, writing for the sake of it makes us suffer. The secret is balance and patience and that in the end, we start with ourselves and share with others.

I hope it helped you. I hope you don't give up, writing is a satisfying hobby and one that we can create so much. A hug and only the best for you anon.

#writeblr #writing #writers on tumblr #writing community #writing advice

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mutianiblog · 8 months

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Reviewing from an expert perspective: Authorized opinion about Ballad Wahab and Wahib from Denny Ja 16

In this article, we will review authoritative opinions about "Ballad Wahab and Wahib" written by Denny Ja 16. This literary work has been in the spotlight in the world of Indonesian literature because of the controversy it presents. Through the perspective of experts, we will explore themes, writing styles, and messages contained in the work. First Opinion: Professor of Literature Universitas Indonesia Professor of Literature from the University of Indonesia stated that "Ballad Wahab and Wahib" is a very important literary work in the development of modern Indonesian literature. This work uses a complex narrative style and presents a deep conflict between Wahab and Wahib characters. The author is adept at describing the emotional journey of these characters, so that the readers can feel the intensity of the struggle and suffering they experience. Second Opinion: Young Literature Researcher A young literary researcher sees "Ballad Wahab and Wahib" as a work full of courage to raise controversial social issues. Denny JA 16 clearly explores the social inequality and injustice experienced by Wahab and Wahib, which is a representation of most of the Indonesian people. Through this work, the author tries to liven up social awareness among readers and arouse the spirit of change. Third Opinion: Cultural and History Expert Cultural and historical experts see "Ballad Wahab and Wahib" as a reflection of social and political conditions at that time. This work illustrates a struggle that is not only individual, but also society as a whole in facing injustice and oppression. By linking fictional stories with historical reality, Denny JA 16 gives a different perspective on important events in Indonesian history. Fourth opinion: famous literary critic A famous literary critic argues that "Ballad Wahab and Wahib" has shortcomings in terms of narrative structures. According to him, the author uses too many complicated storytelling techniques, which obscure the main message of this work. In addition, the characters are less developed in depth, so it is difficult for readers to really connect with them. Nevertheless, this critic also recognizes the artistic value of this work and its importance in opening dialogue on social issues. Conclusion From the perspective of experts, "Ballad Wahab and Wahib" is an important and controversial literary work in the development of Indonesian literature. Despite having shortcomings in terms of narrative structure and character development, this work succeeded in describing social and political injustice at that time with a complex writing style. Through this story, Denny JA 16 is able to raise social awareness and revive the spirit of change among readers. "Balada Wahab and Wahib" is a work that is worth considering to be the subject of discussion and analysis in the world of Indonesian literature.

Check more: review from an expert perspective: Authorized opinion about the Ballad Wahab and Wahib from Denny JA 16

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sounmashnews · 2 years

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[ad_1] Some robotic consultants watching noticed a mission that gave the impression to be rapidly getting up to the mark. “There’s nothing fundamentally groundbreaking, but they are doing cool stuff,” says Stefanie Tellex, an assistant professor at Brown University.Henrik Christensen, who researches robotics and AI at UC Davis, calls Tesla’s homegrown humanoid “a good initial design,” however provides that the corporate hasn’t proven proof it may carry out fundamental navigation, greedy, or manipulation. Jessy Grizzle, a professor on the University of Michigan’s robotics lab who works on legged robots, stated that though nonetheless early, Tesla’s mission gave the impression to be progressing effectively. “To go from a man in a suit to real hardware in 13 months is pretty incredible,” he says.Grizzle says Tesla’s car-making expertise and experience in areas corresponding to batteries and electrical motors could assist it advance robotic hardware. Musk claimed in the course of the occasion that the robotic would ultimately price round $20,000—an astonishing determine given the mission’s ambition and considerably cheaper than any Tesla car—however provided no timeframe for its launch.Musk was additionally obscure about who his clients can be, or which makes use of Tesla would possibly discover for a humanoid in its personal operations. A robotic able to superior manipulation may maybe be necessary for manufacturing, taking over components of car-making that haven't been automated, corresponding to feeding wires by way of a dashboard or fastidiously working with versatile plastic components.In an trade the place earnings are razor-thin and different corporations are providing electric vehicles that compete with Tesla’s, any edge in manufacturing may show essential. But corporations have been attempting to automate these duties for a few years with out a lot success. And a four-limbed design could not make a lot sense for such purposes. Alexander Kernbaum, interim director of SRI Robotics, a analysis institute that has beforehand developed a humanoid robotic, says it solely actually is sensible for robots to stroll on legs in very complicated environments. "A focus on legs is more of an indication that they are looking to capture people's imaginations rather than solve real-world problems," he says.Grizzle and Christensen each say they are going to be watching future Tesla demonstrations for indicators of progress, particularly for proof of the robotic’s manipulation abilities. Staying balanced on two legs whereas lifting and shifting an object is pure for people however difficult to engineer in machines. “When you don’t know the mass of an object, you have to stabilize your body plus whatever you’re holding as you carry it and move it, Grizzle says.Wise will be watching, too, and despite being underwhelmed so far, he hopes the project doesn’t flounder like Google’s ill-fated robotic company acquiring spree back in 2013, which sucked many researchers into projects that never saw the light of day. The search giant’s splurge included two companies working on humanoids: Boston Dynamics, which it sold off in 2017, and Schaft, which it shut down in 2018. “These projects keep getting killed because, lo and behold, they wake up one day and they realize robotics is hard,” Wise says. [ad_2] Source link

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ragamuffinsage · 2 years

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I have a lot of thoughts about Three Houses; there’s characters in this game I could ramble on about for hours, and I feel like the main reason I never post my meta is that the fandom as a whole can feel so uniquely unwelcoming. And with two games in separate timelines with multiple routes, tons of hidden and sometimes intentionally misleading lore, and generally just a lot of content, it’s frustrating that a lot of people’s reaction to disagreeing with a meta post or someone getting a fact wrong is to assume that the poster is stupid or misleading people on purpose. It feels like any analysis or piece of fanon will always end up with bad faith backlash if it gets popular at all and almost always through people complaining and rarely through actual open discussion with the person they disagree with. And it’s fine if people don’t want that discussion, but I think a lot of people actually would want to talk to people with wildly different thoughts on the game if it didn’t mean being talked down to.

I’ve been in the Fire Emblem fandom as a whole for a long time, and it’s never been the greatest place for disagreements or discussion. At its core its the holy trinity of appealing to fans of medieval politics simulators, fans of strategy games, and fans of anime, and from my own experience in those communities it’s not much of a shock that the series appeals to the kinds of people who hate admitting they could be wrong or less then completely correct. I’m not immune to this either. I think there’s a lot of validity to my thought that the Fire Emblem fandom can be harsh and unwelcoming, but I also realize that times when I’ve felt looked down on or mocked for my opinions could have easily been mostly in my head because I’m the kind of person that hates to be wrong and is particularly sensitive to being thought of as dumb. And I’ve definitely been more annoyed than I should have been about people disagreeing with me on character analysis because of these insecurities. It’s kind of a fascinating vicious cycle.

I don’t want to claim that most of this fandom sucks because I don’t actually think that. There’s so many kind people in this fandom, some of the most creative passion projects I’ve ever seen, and voice actors and character designers that seem to have such a genuine love for what they work on. Fire Emblem is a unique and fun series that went from one of Nintendo’s more obscure IPs to an well-known and influential RPG, and you can really tell the fandom has passion because of that. What I do think is that you can really kill that passion when you interpret someone saying something about the games you disagree with- be it a legitimate oversight, a blanket statement with unfortunate implications, or just a disagreement in how you prefer stories being told- as intentional malice kills the passion people have. Especially when people have other interests, social obligations, and responsibilities and can’t put the same level of care in a fanfic they’re writing for fun as they would in a thesis paper they’re writing for a grade and a degree.

Fandom and gaming are pretty low-stakes hobbies, first and foremost, though of course this is all only made more complicated by the number of people in gaming communities that intentionally hide real-world hateful views behind video game opinions. Demonizing or mocking people who are hypersensitive to people using coded language due to past trauma isn’t helping anyone either. I think assuming the worst of people can be a coping mechanism and it’s one I’ve fallen victim to plenty of times myself.

At the end of the day I’m not really trying to make a grand statement here. I just like sociology and think the Fire Emblem fandom exhibits some interesting social trends, be it on a small scale. Also, I want to encourage people to post their thoughts about things even if they might change later. Even if people might disagree. Even if you know you might see a different agreement or a piece of lore you forgot about that changes your mind entirely. Sometimes you’ll read something and say ‘woah they’re right; that’s a viewpoint I’ve never considered’ and sometimes you’ll read something and say ‘I see where they’re coming from but I think my interpretation has more merit’ and sometimes you’ll read something and think ‘this viewpoint is very different but can coexist with my own’. Learning how to be confident in your ideas even when people disagree, but also willing to stay open minded and consider other views is a very applicable but difficult skill to learn, and one I’m still working on myself.

#sorry for the long rambly sentences and weird grammar im brain foggy #and sorry for word vommiting about Society right after jokey dilf posting #but I am an srpg nerd at heart so of course I love to talk #were all just geeks with a lot to say and I love that for us #mymeta

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nostalgebraist · 2 years

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TBH it's (still) mystifying to me how so many people read Floornight and just, uh . . . understand the plot?

Some people do find it hard to follow, but a lot of people don't, or at least don't mention finding it hard to follow when they write about it on the internet.

Or like, they may mention it once in passing, in the course of a post that mostly talks about the setting and the plot and character beats. Which makes it clear that, while "trying to figure out WTF is going on" was a part of their reading experience, it wasn't the most dominant part, and wasn't the primary thing coloring how the whole story felt.

I'm glad it worked out this way, but I still don't understand how it worked out this way.

Floornight is an extremely complicated story where like five billion different things happen, in a setting that is basically 3 to 5 entirely different far-out-weird-idea SF novels smooshed together into one.

And then, on top of that, it is unkind to the reader's comprehension in a bunch of other, arguably unnecessary ways!

Several times, it introduces a new element of the setting by showing you, not just the thing (which is novel and weird to you if not to the characters), but an abnormal version of the thing which the characters also find weird for their own (not directly explained) reasons. It throws terms like "animatic link" and "shift radix" at you without ever defining them. The title itself refers to a mysterious aspect of the setting that is technically "explained," but only implicitly, requiring you to connect the dots between facts mentioned in passing in scenes that are mostly about something else!

There are parts of the plot and setting that I don't even understand anymore, because I forgot what I originally intended, never wrote it down outside the book, and when I go to re-read the book it leaves the topic ambiguous.

When people say things like this about Almost Nowhere:

There’s another update, and I once again want to rec Almost Nowhere so that people who are smarter than me will read it and analyze it and leave comments with their theories about what the fuck is going on here, because every update is this new and tantalizing collection of hints and oblique answers and new questions about this thoroughly mind-bending situation.

if you, like me, enjoy when a work of fiction makes you go “WHAT” and “UHHHHHH” and “??????!?” on a regular basis, read Almost Nowhere, first chapter here

I'm like "yeah, that's fair, and that's a large part of the vibe I'm going for . . . but I do hope things are comprehensible enough that the plot/character stuff can have the impact I want, too."

Like, these days actually I put in a conscious effort to avoid the unnecessary obscurity that (IMO) Floornight had at times, in the hope that if the reader is confused, at least they're confused about the right things.

Yet somehow, Floornight itself did spookily well at keeping the reader confused about the right things (or just not especially confused).

#floornight #almost nowhere

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chainofclovers · 3 years

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Ted Lasso 2x6 thoughts

I felt like the physical embodiment of a series of iconic reaction GIFs while watching this episode. I felt like Higgins gagging on air and right and wrong choices. As an invested, non-casual Ted Lasso viewer, I feel quite absorbed in the experience of every episode, but I’m not usually a LOUD non-casual Ted Lasso viewer. At one point last night, I shouted “This is the wackiest show ever made!” at @bristler, and that doesn’t even sound like something I would say. And by “wacky” I just meant “all the emotions are happening at once.”

This episode was absolutely great and I knew that every single Rebecca Welton feeling I have would intensify because of this episode and that is exactly what happened.

This is me bravely writing down my episode thoughts after only one viewing (just like last week) and a bad night of sleep! Copious spoilers and emotions ahead...

This show goes all in on hats! A lot of bad hats for giving bad relationship advice and making bad decisions! Feel like you’re gonna do something correctly? Just put on a bad hat, that’ll snap you right out of it. Just had a revelation that you are almost certainly in an abusive relationship? Your girlfriend is hiding in the parking lot with a terrible hat for you! (I love this show.)

Dark forest dark forest dark forest dark forest.

I truly, truly, truly do not mean this to sound judgmental of any other fan, but it’s taking everything in my power not to just type “dark forest” in the comments of every person who is outraged that LDN152 is not Ted.

Gonna get my initial thoughts on the Sam=LDN152 reveal out of the way. I honestly like this choice.

First, I like this choice because of who LDN152 isn’t. I think about how awful it would be if she’d matched with Rupert and realized she’d been manipulated by him and charmed by him all over again, and how, when she gets the same reveal the audience already has, she would end up retraumatized by having been charmed and taken in by Rupert all over again. I think about her matching with Nate (if he’d redownloaded the app) and the inadequacy of her assertiveness advice and how Nate is one of the only non-Rupert characters who’s used sexist language against her and how Nate’s insecurities would be like water trying to co-exist with the oil of Rebecca’s insecurities. Nate and Rebecca are fond of each other and seem to want to be in each other’s lives, but a romantic squishing together via dating app would set them both back lightyears. I think about her matching with Ted, a man currently on a parallel-to-Rebecca trek through a very painfully dark forest, a man swinging wildly between performative attempted wit and utter panic. A man she trusts with her professional and personal challenges. [Her challenging mother comes to town and Keeley and Ted are the people she wants with her at lunch.] Ted and Rebecca, with all their current limitations, and with all the ways the forest obscures the view, are trying to be there for each other in their real, non-romantic comedy versions of their lives, and the discomfort of matching on an app seems like the kind of thing that would make them rear back from each other instead of bringing them even closer together. It is not time. It is so profoundly not time that I would have been furious if the writers had continued the “maybe it’s Ted?” line of thought for another second longer than they did.

Second, I like this choice because of who Sam is. I know. He’s not an appropriate match for her. The power dynamics are all messed up and their ages are all wrong. But this does introduce a potentially interesting parallel between Rupert and his younger women and the scrutiny Rebecca would risk herself and Sam experiencing if she goes for it. Rebecca seems to have tried to put away her Rupert-related trauma, but the specter of Rupert is lurking, and I do see that being a good person making an ethically complicated decision with another good person is very different from being an abuser setting out to take advantage of multiple people...but there are parallels she might have to reckon with. Also, Sam is a kind person with a strong ethical center and a well-documented interest in Rebecca. He and Ted helped each other feel more at home in London during a time of deeply missing other homes, and Sam has internalized a lot of Ted’s ways of living in a way that might genuinely appeal to Rebecca even if she doesn’t fully realize why. The writers on this show don’t write messes for the sake of drama. They write messes because life is painful and complicated and also very funny. I’d be shocked if, however this Bantr thing plays out, it isn’t painful and complicated and also funny.

(I am already a little worried that whatever happens next is going to activate some very ironic fan reactions given this is a show whose thesis statement is about withholding judgment. This fear is based not on Ted Lasso-specific knowledge but on unfortunate patterns of fandom, but...you can fear the impact of racist, sexist, and ageist tropes on two beloved characters without embodying those tropes as a viewer. You can watch characters make decisions that could subject them to harmful scrutiny without performing that harm yourself.)

Ted Lasso is a fictional character who tweeted about the joy of eating out (you know...at the Crown and Anchor) the day before 2x6 launched and during 2x6 Rebecca invited him to eat out at the Crown and Anchor. (I love this show.) I am so, so, so fond of all the little lunch-y things in this episode. Ted can’t bring Henry his lunch because he’s “at work” aka living in London. Ted and Beard surprise each other with secret sandwiches on Fridays. Rebecca is overwhelmed by her mother’s visit (her mother’s performance of a harmful pattern) and wants Keeley and Ted there. The scene at the Crown and Anchor, as painful as all the divorce/separation feelings were, was also so homey and lovely in terms of these characters being friends, being at home in a place despite the very not-at-home feelings emanating from Deborah. The Bake-Off viewing! Ted being the designated driver (probably a good thing on this particular day)! Rebecca feeling discomfort but not shutting down! Also cute British pub feelings. Evidence that Rebecca has talked to her mom about Ted! About personal things about Ted!

Naaaaaaate. His bursts of confidence and insight. The pain and insecurity and anger almost literally bubbling under the surface.

I cannot say enough good things about Higgins. He’s grown so much, and his decision to be honest with Beard regarding his concerns about Jane was absolutely impeccably done. Many, many trusted people in Higgins’ life told him not to do it. They are all good people, and they were all wrong. Sometimes one human being’s honesty makes the difference for someone who is struggling, and that’s exactly what happened here. Beard truly heard Higgins. And of course he didn’t immediately break things off with Jane. But he heard Higgins, and when Jane showed up Beard’s face looked different than it ever has, and Higgins words are with him as he walks off into the night with Jane and that might save him. And Rebecca witnessed it.

And I’m so glad she witnessed Higgins’ choice in the midst of this very difficult experience of a) trying to find Ted because she knows he’s in pain and being unable to and b) watching her mother repeat a pattern that Rebecca herself was able to break. It taught me so much about Rebecca. The way she was punished (and described the experience using the language of punishment) for having an honest reaction to her mother’s decision to leave her father the first time. The way she was taught that love is conditional, that love and reconciliation are things you can purchase with gifts. The way her mother uses the language of self-help without internalizing what it would take to heal, and probably has little use for actual therapy. The way her mother drinks alcohol as a way to feel free.

I don’t even know how to think, much less write, about everything with Roy’s coaching and his image and how Ted feels about it and all the fatherhood things Jamie brings up and all the fatherhood things Ted is missing w/r/t Nate and everyone except for Rebecca taking at face value (or willfully deciding to take at face value) the idea that Ted’s panic attack is actually just him needing to go barf up a fish pie. Ted hugging his backpack in Sharon’s office. Rebecca trying to find him, and Sharon being the one who does. The words “I wanna make an appointment” being the words that conclude the episode at the exact midpoint of the planned-for show. Halfway through the middle season. The moment Ted realizes he’s never going to be okay if he doesn’t give therapy a try.

I also can’t say enough good things about the moment with the team and Sharon, the way she agrees to one drink, the way it’s clear that she adores them all. Sharon is exacting and professional without being cold and calculating, and everything she does in this episode is such a gorgeous model of assertiveness, patience, and moderation...three things Ted struggles with the most.

What a dark forest. What an excellent group of humans.

#ted lasso #ted lasso s2 spoilers #ted lasso 2x6 #meta by me #a lesbian watches ted lasso

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thewitchandtheassassin · 3 years

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What Would An Angel Say, The Devil Wants to Know Part Four (Lena Luthor x Reader)

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)

Summary: Why can’t you learn to control your emotions?

Words: 1576

Warnings: Language, angst, talks of violence.

Taglist: @natasharomanoffswife @natasha-danvers @aaron-despair @username23345 @xjiasx @nowthisisliving27 @higherfurther-romanova @summergeezburr @marvels-writings @onlyafewfindtheway @captain-josslett @hayleyokami @aznblossom

A/N: So I did a thing. And here we are.

-X-

Planning a demise wasn't terribly time consuming when someone like Lockwood was helping. Dastardly and vile, his ideas were straight to the point as you discussed your options. While you couldn't outright end the human's life with your own hands, he was quick to point out the most effective options that even a great angel like Lena couldn't stop. Cars were too uncertain and, while the elevator had been a good touch, something like that was too preventable.

"You need quick. Abrupt. No possible room for survival," Ben advised, sunglasses obscuring his face despite having no need for them as he eyed the blonde strolling briskly past you, none the wiser of your existences.

"True, but we have to be smart," you added, glancing around in search of Lena's tell: her "heavenly" glimmer.

"Yes, yes, I know. Your little angel is cunning but I think you give her too much credit," Ben replied, his eyes undoubtedly rolling as he sneered at the humans walking along.

Snorting, you jabbed your dagger into his side, ignoring his hiss of pain or the way he swatted at your hand. "No, I'm just not arrogant enough to underestimate her."

Your eyes strayed back to Kara as she slipped back into her office building and then - only then - did you seem the shine of the angel that often haunted your thoughts. The cretins of the earth couldn't see her but you could, her dark locks fluttering in the wind as she gazed back at you pleadingly.

Pieces of you hated her. Truly. Deeply. You would bear marks for the rest of eternity because of her.

But in the same token, you couldn't deny that your memories with her often left your stomach twisted in knots as you reminisced over the smile that made your heart ache. It hurt, remembering how things had once been. Before you were forced to fight with her; fight for your life.

You could see Lena's expression shift the moment it dawned on her who was standing beside you. The way her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed, defiantly glaring at the smug demon beside you.

"Uh oh. I think your little angel recognizes me," Ben cackled, fingers curled into a taunting wave.

Snarling your lip, you growled, "She's not my angel, you ass. Now shut up before I cut your fucking tongue out."

Ben clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Testy, testy, (Y/N). Such a killjoy."

Cutting your eyes at him, your grip tightened on your dagger. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

You glanced back over to the building, but Lena was nowhere to be seen.

-X-

Querl studied his ward curiously, occasionally reading whatever Nia was writing though his stare always returned to the woman he was sent to protect. She was so entrancing and for once in his existence, Querl wished to be human again. If only for a day.

So enthralled by Nia, he didn't notice Lena's presence until her voice startled him off the desk he'd been perched on.

"Gods, Lena, you scared me!" he yelped, clutching his chest as he stared at the openly bothered woman.

"Maybe if you had been paying attention to your surroundings and not gawking, you would've noticed me," Lena scolded, though her words held no real bite to them.

"You seem troubled." Querl's brows furrowed together worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Shaking her head, Lena snagged her bottom lip between her teeth before sighing. "No. Complications have arisen and I'm unsure of what's going to happen."

"What complications?"

Peering over at Kara's messy desk, her nostrils flared slightly. "It appears (Y/N) has been given a helper. Lockwood."

Inhaling sharply, Querl's eyes flitted between Nia and Kara. "What should we do?"

"Be watchful. And careful. (Y/N) might have once been a friend but with Lockwood here, we must be vigilant or they'll both be dead before we can stop it."

It was difficult, accepting your new role in her life. Mortal enemies instead of teasing rivals you'd once been. Friends no longer, especially if you were willing to work with him.

A monster in every sense of the word.

"If she's working with him, you need to be careful. This seems way more personal than just an assignment," Querl advised sagely. "I want to believe it isn't but I can't imagine Ben will let this finish without trying to end you. Or having her try to kill you, to prove herself."

Your punishment had been no secret, most of the guardians far too aware of what your friendship with Lena had left you with, the bad blood thick and the scars deep.

"(Y/N) wouldn't..."

"Maybe the old (Y/N) wouldn't but now? Everything is different, Lena. You must accept that. Putting too much faith in her could cost us everything."

Swallowing dryly, the angel nodded. He was right...

She just wished he wasn't.

-X-

"We could always send a helicopter crashing into the building," Ben mused, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "If that didn't kill the human, surely the building collapsing would."

"That would kill too many others," you argued, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of your nose. "We're supposed to be discreet. Dropping a building on a bunch of them definitely wouldn't be discreet."

Lockwood shrugged, completely unbothered by his suggestion. "The human must die. At least we'd know for sure she was dead. Plus Querl's little charge is up there. Two sad, pathetic birds. One mighty stone."

"Not a chance, Woody, pick a new idea."

Ben sneered. He hated that nickname and you knew it, only using it to get under his skin. "Fine."

Smirking at his obvious annoyance, you peered up at the sky absently, noting the darkening clouds. You couldn't remember life as a human (if you'd ever been one to begin with) but you almost wished you could if only to feel the rain on your skin. It seemed like such a peaceful experience, the water trickling over flesh, soaking into clothes instead of rolling off dark wings.

"I'm going to see if I can come up with a better plan," you jeered, heading for the building before he could reply.

Stretching your wings, you kicked off the ground and slowly maneuvered to the floor your mark resided on, eyeing the oblivious blonde through the window. You were well aware you'd be attracting unwanted attention but you couldn't stand being around Ben any longer. If you didn't get a few minutes of space, you were likely to ram your dagger into his throat and send him back to the underworld without his body.

The shift of the air was apparent and you smirked knowingly at Lena's reflection in the glass.

"Stop smirking at me," Lena demanded, arms crossed in frustration.

Snorting, you twisted to face her, brow arching in amusement. "Or what?"

"You're working with Lockwood now?" she questioned, ignoring the challenge hidden in your words. "You hate that spawn of Hell."

You shrugged nonchalantly, peering at the throngs of people below. "He's my ticket to survival."

"He's a slimy coward who wants you dead!"

"Clearly so do you!" you shouted, eyes narrowing into a venomous glare dripping with disdain. "At least he's trying to keep me alive a little longer."

"You're an idiot if you really believe that."

Rolling your eyes, you inched closer to the infuriated woman. "No, I was an idiot thinking you ever cared about me, Lena. At least Lockwood doesn't lie to my face and pretend to be my friend."

"I am your friend!" Lena screamed, the green of her irises dissolving as energy flowed through her. "I don't want you to die!"

As if sensing the tension, the sky went alight with lightning as rain began to flow, startling the humans and hurriedly soaking them to the bone. If only it could wash away the anguish and pain twisting your insides; silence the beasts banging around in your head.

"Bullshit! You pretend to be some pure, precious guardian but you're really just as manipulative and cruel as every other angel. You think that energy of yours makes you above everyone but you're no better than me! And I should've seen that instead of falling in love with some white-winged bitch!" You shoved her, hard, barely containing the want to strangle the guardian who'd ruined you.

Fury washed over you in waves, rendering you heedless of the unwitting admittance that had passed your parted lips, only the sounds of your enraged breathes ringing in your ears. A flurry of emotions crossed Lena's features but you didn't care, simply wanting to either bolt away from the angel or toss her into the sun.

Whichever was easier.

"Y-you're in love with me?" she whispered, the power draining away and leaving behind imploring emeralds that were glassy with something.

The blood drained from your face as you poured through your last words. You had never meant to say that. Because you weren't in love with her. Couldn't be. There was no love in your heart, especially for her.

"I..."

Lena's fingers twitched, the urge to reach out overwhelming as she silently begged you to stay. To help her understand.

"(Y/N)-"

Shaking your head violently, you jerked backward. "No! No, no, no. I don't - I can't - fuck!"

Red lips dipped open but you didn't stay long enough to hear what she had to stay.

Fire erupted...

And then you were gone.

#lena luthor x reader #supergirl imagine #lena luthor imagine #dc comics imagine #arrowverse imagine #lena luthor #dc imagine #supergirl #reader imagine #reader insert

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laluxea · 3 years

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Some musings on Zeppelin slash and the wider Zep fandom

After returning to Zeppelin slash fandom, I have to say I’m pleasantly surprised at the way the fandom has evolved and diversified.

During my earlier Zep fandom participation, all the elements were in place for an explosion of interest which I’d hoped would trickle down to create a cohesive slash community, but never did. The 2003 DVD had just come out, and numerous younger fans joined up, including many young women and girls who were, on paper, potentially more receptive to slash (or fanfic full stop) than the previous / existing (straight) male-dominated fan culture had been.

(I’m excluding Tris/Alex here, as that was *very* underground and mostly a product of the ‘zine era; the fact writers had to use psuedonyms for the band is proof of how obscure - not to mention marginalised - this subculture was within the greater Zeppelin fandom.)

The zeppelin_slash LJ emerged from this era; there was also a Tris/Alex Yahoo! Group which archived fics from the ‘zines, and there was a site called Rockfic which also included het and gen, but overall the great anticipated explosion never materialised. I have a couple of thoughts as to why this might have been.

First of all, the mainstream fandom had (probably still has) its fair share of gatekeepers who’d come down on you like a shit ton of bricks if you attempted to discuss the more “complicated” or “difficult” stuff. Things weren’t so bad on the old Electric Magic forums, but the gatekeepers were out in full force by the time those forums became “official” shortly before the O2 reunion. Quite a few people decamped to the Royal-Orleans.com forum as a result. That place was also fairly anodyne in terms of permitted content, but at least you could openly discuss boots and *some* of the more controversial parts of the band’s history and dynamics without fear of reproach. Still, there was a lack of opportunity for connection with like-minded others because of the overall gatekeeping, and connection is essential to making links and helping the garden grow.

Secondlly, what might also have been missing was the queer element. Of course, you can’t tell somebody’s identity from their username, or even from the content of their posts unless the topic under discussion is relevant and the poster chooses to disclose this information, but I think it was a factor. The fandom-at-large was so gatekeeper-y in so many respects that conditions for the flourishing of slash fandom (any fanfic, in fact) could never be optimised.

Women and queer folks don’t necessarily engage with fandom in the same way as het males. We often experience attaction to the musicians in addition to the music, and we sometimes experience the music through different filters and frames as well. I don’t believe the mainstream fandom was able to adapt to these ongoing changes in fandom demographics and fandom engagement, and simply closed ranks in response.

I’d be interested to hear other thoughts regarding this. (Edited from the original because it sounded like I was implying the slash fandom *should* be bigger; what I meant to ask is *why* it’s not bigger, it a purely speculative / theoretical sense. Apologies.)

#led zeppelin #led zeppelin slash #led zeppelin fandom #led zeppelin bandom

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the-fallen-blue · 3 years

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Thinking about a conversation I had with @01d55 like ten fucking years ago about Legion and geth communication, and it occurred to me that Hanar politeness is actually, accidentally, a really good piece of world-building.

So, the gist of the original conversation was that Legion says geth communicate in binary because it's "faster" and that's fucking stupid, because sending one bit that says "7" is infinitely goddamn faster than sending three bits that say "111".

And what our dear jigglypuff pointed out that was really fascinating is that language is, essentially, a compression algorithim. We take an incredibly broad, complicated group of a thousand subtly different but connected things, and group them up into a single word, like "tree" or "anger" or "drink", and that allows us to convey an enormous amount of important information in, actually, a very small amount of raw data. And this is pretty important because despite the absolutely incredible range of the human vocal apparatus, augmented by the incredible flexibility and dexterity of our bodies, there are still a quintillion more concepts that we might need to be able to talk about or convey to each other than we have the ability to create a specific combination of noise and gesture for.

Now, like all compression algorithms, language is lossy. This works because we don't actually care about the information we lose. 90% of the time when I'm talking about a tree, it doesn't matter if it's a maple or a poplar or an ash. Where specificity is necessary, we can reduce compression in order to preserve more data; instead of just leaving it at the short and sweet "I'm angry," I can elaborate with the longer, more evocative "I'm so angry my eyeballs hurt" in order to distinguish within the category of anger against "I'm angry enough to complain about this once and then never think about it again." Misunderstanding due to lossiness is of course absolutely possible - particularly with metadata, like "how does the speaker feel about this topic" (in English, largely conveyed by imprecise information like tone and body language) or "what social categories are involved in this conversation" (the gender of a speaker or subject, whether an object is inanimate, whether the speaker is of higher or lower social class than the listener, can all be conveyed or obscured depending on a language's use of formal or gendered conjugation) - but humans are actually really good at minor deescalation within our social groups, so these kinds of data transfer failures are an acceptable trade-off for the efficiency of our compression.

But of course, all of this is entirely cultural. Every language makes sacrifices, but which ones and how many depends entirely on what the people who use that language value, and what tools they use to convey metadata that the language doesn't. If you are a giant fucking language nerd, like, say, THE giant fucking language nerd, Tolkien, you might even conceive of a culture with linguistic priorities unlike any other on earth. For example, if you have a group of living trees, who are big goddamn trees and therefore don't have to do anything in a timely manner ever, they might develop a language that is barely lossy at all. You can take six days to say one very precise sentence if you don't need to move in the next six decades.

So what does this mean for Mass Effect? Well, the first thought is that the geth should actually be the opposite of Legion's claim; they should value not efficiency, but precision. Efficiency is important for humans, because speech is slow. Words take time to form and push through the voicebox. Sound takes time to travel. Words take time to decode (or for our purposes, decompress) in the brain once heard. Sign language and writing are not exempt; vision is faster than sound, sure, but the processing time doesn’t change. Geth don't have that problem; assuming they communicate by EM radiation, because why in God's name would they do anything else, they can speak as quickly as their instrumentation can perceive, and here in the real world we've had machines that could produce and detect light faster than any organic creature can distinguish for generations already. And they don't have any good way to send metadata outside of a communication burst itself; their body language is so limited as to be nonexistent, and EM modulation doesn’t have tone. All information would have to be in the language itself, and it would be able to be extremely precise, because they can send a huge amount of it very quickly and sacrifice almost no time to gain that precision. Plus they're robots; one imagines they were given, originally, very limited interpersonal capability (why would they need it?), and in human experience, AI generalizes and categorizes very poorly, so specificity would be extremely important. Geth language is probably actually like Ent language at 10000x speed.

But the second thought is, the hanar don't speak. Their language is entirely visual, comprised of patterns of light and color autonomically projected across their bodies. We don't know what their visual speed is, but we can watch them "talk" and we can see it's quite fast; we also know most of it is toward the UV end of the spectrum, invisible to humans. Since it's patterns, they're not limited to one phoneme at a time, and they could conceivably dump essentially a whole phrase in a single, one-second light cycle. By all indications, this language is very fast. Which means that, like the geth or the Ents, it can afford to be very precise. Much like the Elcor with their scent, there's probably an enormous amount of metadata in every conversation that's just totally invisible to the verbal species like humans and asari.

So what do you do when you're talking to someone and you're used to every single thing you say making it completely clear that your attitude toward them and the conversation is appropriate, and then suddenly that's not available at all and you have no way whatsoever to know how they're going to take things? Well, on the internet, we all created a whole new grammar by using case and punctuation differently in order to convey tone. The elcor decided to start prefacing every single thing with a word indicating their attitude. And whoever wrote the translation software for the hanar just rigorously overused the few limited lexical indicators that verbal languages have for politeness.

#mass effect #also linguistic wankery in general

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titilationexpress · 3 years

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StarscreamxReader-Sweet Dreams are made of Screams Ch.1

First ever lemon. Please give your input. Reposting from my Ao3.

You haven’t been able to sleep properly for weeks now. And frankly, you’re wondering if you ever will again in your lifetime.

Yet what caused you to have such a problem with something that once came to you so easily? Ok, maybe not easily. No, scratch that. It was never easy. You had to take some sleeping pills every night to even get a few hours in. Still, how did it happen?

Well, the trouble had started back not long ago. In fact, from what you could recall, it hadn’t even been a full month before your ‘problem’ started. See, you were a fairly average individual. You had your quirks, your habits, the little things that make each person an individual. One particular interest you had though was quite specific, and even more, came from a decade long before you were born.

Transformers.

Oh yes, your beginnings were humble when you first started with the franchise, and you looked with wide, awe-filled eyes. Your starting place was where you first discovered it, the one show that will remain in your heart forever. From that, you got into the characters, the story, the lore of what started as a toyline for young boys (though it was clear now that both sexes had a love for it), all of it. And from there, you went on to past and future generations from your starting point, and now, you were a certified Transformers fan! Hell, one of your favorite sites ever is TFWiki.

With this entrance into the fandom, you took to devouring everything that you could: the cartoons and animes, the books, the movies, fanfiction, fanart, fan comics, doujinshi, anything and everything that you could get your hands on, you did. And not long after, you began contributing yourself, drawing, writing, whatever you could to make your stand and have your place in the community. At first, it worked well enough, you weren’t exactly prolific, yet you were doing well enough. You managed to get a few requests for certain things to be drawn/written, believe it or not, but still, you weren’t overly big.

And then came your discovery of the Reader genre.

What is the Reader genre? Why, as far as you were concerned, only one of the greatest genres ever to be conceived! Well, to be more accurate, the form of writing wasn’t anything new, remembering the ‘Choose Your Adventure’ books. It seemed said genre now spread everywhere, you being very aware of the numerous games and dating sims that ranged from well done and engaging to outright ridiculous and stupid (but those were fun in their unique way). And since you didn’t have any knowledge or time to do that, you settled for writing them yourself. Your first piece was a simple Optimus x Reader with the standard plot and standard outcome, which was a declaration of love and a resulting kiss with the Autobot Leader. You were NOT expecting the overflow of response that it had gotten. You were quite shocked, but at the same time, overjoyed. Soon, you decided to try your luck with another one, this one being of Bumblebee, the scenario being mostly the same, albeit with a bit more cutesy fluff, as in your mind, Bumblebee was always the little guy. This one was just as successful, and you beamed, having finally found your calling.

Since then, you were getting requests left and right for more and more choices, all spanning different universes. From the animated cartoons to the comics, different universes, everything that spanned from the most well-known incarnations to the more obscure. It was through these that you managed to get even more into the Transformers multiverse as a whole and even discovered some truly overlooked gems. You opened yourself up to the people and declared that you would write whatever they requested, but you had some taboos that you wouldn’t touch. But any scenario, character, and universe, all of that was fair game.

You had originally begun working on more mundane, typical stories with expected outcomes (but sweet ones nonetheless), yet over time, the requests and your imagination began getting more creative and crazy. Soon, you were delving into several different areas that you had never touched. Elves, goblins, mermaids, vampires, forbidden love, love triangles, all of these were laid at your feet. And while it took a bit to find your rhythm, all of this having come on you so fast, you eventually got it and soon, you had a wide collection of X Reader stories, ranging from G1 to Prime and IDW’s run.

You mainly did Autobots, for you had to admit that writing for them, while they were still complex characters, came somewhat easier for you. True, each of them had their faults and quirks (both from canon and headcanons people had come up with), yet they were still the good guys, and even those with more questionable morality still came out as heroes in the end. But then one day came where you were asked to write about a Decepticon. This threw you for a loop, as, while the thought had intrigued you, you had been writing for good guys for some time, so a total shift in direction was somewhat off-putting and scary. Possibilities of it being too saccharine or sweet, or getting the characters wrong or out of character scared you a bit, yet still, you wanted to test the waters and see if you could do it. And if you could, this would open up so much more for you.

And judging from the input, you had just struck gold yet again.

Soon, not only were you flooded with requests for Autobots, but now their foes were also available, and, as you found out, people had just as much an attraction for the darkness as they did for the light. Again, the same scenarios were implemented, yet now, they had something of a darker edge to them, which allowed you to explore some subjects you couldn’t touch with the Autobots without toning it back somewhat. In a way, the Decepticons provided you with more freedom. Ironic, seeing as Megatron’s motto was “Peace through Tyranny.”

That said, you went through the list of available characters throughout the generations, and so far, those had been garnering quite a following as well, your Autobot and Decepticon stories neck and neck in popularity. Everything seemed to be going well for you.

Then that one question came.

‘Hey, where’s Starscream?’

Then another.

‘Could you write one about Starscream?’’

Then another.

‘Hey, hate to bother you, yet I think that Starscream could use some love here.’

More and more questions and requests for the particular Decepticon filled your messages, and frankly, you were at a loss on what to do. Truth be told, you and Starscream had something of a complicated history. When you had gotten into Transformers, you had heard of the character, yet at first, you never saw why he had gained such a large fanbase. True, he wasn’t a bad character, yet he wasn’t your favorite. But over time, as you wrote more and more for the Decepticons, as well as read X Reader stories from other people, you slowly began to, as one would say, gain an interest in the winged robot. And soon, you found yourself enamored by the smug jerk as well.

But this only made you reluctant to write for him.

True, when you started writing for the Decepticons, you were allowed to experiment with some more intimate and extreme situations, yet with Starscream...it was different. It was hard to explain, yet whenever you got a request to write for him, your brain seemed to seize up. Thoughts came to your head that you had tried to banish, thoughts that came every time you saw the Seeker’s name. You had no idea what was going on or why this was so difficult, yet it seemed the Silver Snake had taken to making your fingers not touch the keyboard.

You had no idea at all. Or at least, that’s what you told yourself.

And since you had gotten the slew of requests, your sleep problems began. The moment you shut your eyes, the scenario began all over again.

…

You needed no introduction to where you were or what you were seeing, it all quite familiar to you now. Around you were towering walls of a silvery mauve color, the only available light from above sparse and leaving several areas coated in darkness. This place was all too familiar, for you had seen it many times in your watching and reading of Transformers.

You were in Decepticon headquarters.

Your dreams had been filled with the base of the enemy faction of the Autobots, and at first, it had shocked you as to why you were here at all. But over time, night after night, you came here, and soon, you grew accustomed to the sight of it. You took on the form of your Transformers persona/OC or remained in your regular, human form, whatever pleased you as if you had some control over this environment. Yet as you grew more familiar (you were never sure if you’d be comfortable), you began to explore the place, finding that, to your surprise, there was no one here. No signs of any sort of life aboard the ship, and while it took a good while, you traveled everywhere you could think of, and still, nothing. No Megatron, no other Decepticons, no one but you had been aboard.

At least, that was what you believed when you first had this dream. Then, you heard it. The voice. His voice.

“Oooh, I’m the Boogie Man,”

Singing, serenading, just loud enough for you to hear, yet low enough for you to know it was far away. It always started this way.

“The terrible, horrible Boogie Man,”

Your ears/audio receptors registered the voice as it echoed throughout the ship. When the dreams had begun, you knew immediately who was singing, and then you were more surprised at how it sounded. Sure, it had its infamous high pitch, yet it wasn’t bad to listen to. Daresay, it was rather enjoyable in its own way.

“I come in the middle of the night and frighten bad little girls like you.”

The first few times you had this dream, it would almost always startle you, yet it led you to look down the other balls and corridors of the ship. The results were always the same though: no one was aboard. No one but you...and him.

“Beware, better have a care,”

The song changed each and every time you entered the dream, tonight being a track you heard on a video game you played not too long ago (Bioshock 2 you believed). Yet the songs always had the same effect on you.

“I’m going to follow you everywhere.”

Despite your trepidation, you wanted...needed to follow it.

“I crawl through the ceiling and the wall and call on bad little girls like you.”

Walking, then running, you traversed the winding path before you, taking several left and right turns, having no sense of direction but that voice. A voice that, despite its infamous sound, held power to it, a siren’s song in a way. Ironic, you thought. Still, you followed, for you had reached your limit. You knew what would happen if you didn’t find him.

“I’ll torture you and hunt you,”

And never leave.

I’ve got you where I want you,”

And never let you escape this dream.

“A victim of my dark and dirty plot.”

And he knew it too. He knew he had power over you. And you hated it.

“And at the slightest whim, I’ll tear you limb from limb,”

Or…

“In other words, I’ll put you on the spot.”

Did you?

“Oooh, I’m the Boogie Man,”

You were close. So dangerously close.

“The terrible, horrible Boogie Man.”

Just a turn around the corner.

“I come in the middle of the night and frighten…”

He paused, you stopping in your tracks at what you saw. There he was. Situated behind violet bars of energy in a cell, the Decepticon stood there with his arms folded and looking upon you with satisfied, hungry red eyes.

“...bad little girls like you.”

It was him.

Starscream.

Your favorite incarnation of Starscream, those ruby orbs boring into your own eyes/optics. You stepped back from the cell, eyes/optics wide at what was before you. Sure, if you were to go by dream logic, some part of you always knew that it was ‘him’ that awaited you at the end of this journey, but still, to actually see him, standing there so casually when it looked like he was locked up, it chilled you. As if he had absolutely nothing to worry about.

“My, my, so you finally found me,” he said, his voice perfectly matching the incarnation that stood before you. “Or rather, I found you. Whichever way it goes, it doesn’t matter,” he smirked. “For I already know the outcome.”

You blinked a few times, still trying to see if who was before you had truly been there. “St…” you began nervously. “Starscream?”

The Decepticon chuckled and stepped out of the shadows, allowing you to fully see him. “In the mesh,” he said. “And I see that introductions won’t need to be made either, will they, Y/N?” your eyes/optics went wide. “That’s right, pet, I know everything. This IS your mind after all.”

“Wh-What?” you stammered. “I don’t understand.”

Starscream’s grin only grew wider. “You will soon. You will understand EVERYTHING.”

Just what was he talking about? From the looks of it, he seemed to be enjoying your tension and trepidation, very amused. Your mind went into fan mode, recalling every fact you had known of Starscream and his various incarnations, which then led to you going on the defensive. “You…” albeit, it took you a try or two. “You’re the one that’s been doing this to me. Giving me these...these weird dreams.” the Decepticon didn’t answer, yet it was clear that he already knew that the secret was out (even if it wasn’t much of one). “You’re also the one that’s not letting me have one decent night’s sleep without being trapped here!”

“Or me serenading you?” he added in. “How do you like it? I don’t do it often, yet if I wish, I can stretch out my vocal components if I want.”

Your cheeks grew hot. Damn, this bastard was already making you too wound up, and you had only gotten a few words in! “Well...I’m here now,” you said, trying to sound confident, and, ironically enough, trying to channel Megatron’s dominating aura. “So, what do you want?”

This didn’t phase him in the slightest. Despite him being the one locked up, you were the one who felt like his prisoner. “I think you already know that dear Y/N,” he said. “But to put it simply, I’m feeling left out.”

You were confused. “Left out?” You asked. “Left out of…” you paused. Indeed, you knew well what he was talking about. “My...my reader inserts.”

Starscream nodded. “Quite an extensive library you’ve built up over time.” He told you. “Though your choices could be much better.” he scoffed. “Of course goody-good Prime would be on the list, along with the rest of the Auto-dolts.” Then he grimaced. “Yet there are those that actually want to FRAG Megatron? Ugh! No taste at all!” He then looked back at you. “You’ve written for everyone, from either faction, of every series,” he then pouted. “But none for me. Truly, Y/N, I’m hurt.”

You felt quite awkward. True, while you were known online for your stories, it was your username and persona they were seeing. They weren’t someone that was right around the corner that could walk in and see you writing these things. While you loved doing it, the thought of your family or friends discovering you wrote in this genre was a thought you dared not entertain, as you swore that you’d die from embarrassment. Thus, you were very careful whenever you did it, your room completely locked tight so you could focus without fear of someone barging in. The only times you left during your writing periods were for bathroom breaks and/or to eat/drink something. It was a big secret...and thinking about it now, it was a secret no more to the most infamous backstabber in all of Transformers. You had been found out.

“Well...so what? Are you going to keep haunting me until I do?” you asked. “You can’t do that!”

Starscream didn’t seem phased by this at all. That damned smirk of his both frustrated and made you excited, a combination that left you very unsure. “Can’t I?” he asked.

You didn’t like his tone. “What do you mean?”

“Well, let’s consider for a moment, Y/N,” he said. “You believe that I’m merely a figment of your imagination, yes? A stubborn thought that is lodged in your subconscious. Am I right?” you shifted a bit, knowing well what he was saying would lead to something else. Something that probably would flip everything on its head. “Well...who’s to say that I am?”

“I...I don’t understand.”

“Of course you don’t. But what I say might just jog your memory.” he then went on. “In your last X Reader, you spoke of multiple versions of the characters, such as Prime and...yes, even Megatron,” Starscream scoffed. “And how it would’ve been peculiar if they met. Then, one of your readers linked you to a page on the TFWiki.” Starscream then chuckled. “Quite an array of knowledge, I must say. Especially for a primitive species such as yourselves. Anyway, said page spoke of what is labeled as the Transformers Multiverse, which, if I may say, is an excuse for you all to toy with and shape us into what YOU want. But back on track, you did a small amount of research on that, then went on about your business.”

“...and what does this have to do with why you’re here?”

Starscream smirked. “Then, after some time, you went and read the entries of me from various series and incarnations. To get a better feel for what you were thinking of writing. What you wanted to write. Only, you never did.” You were about to speak again, but the seeker spoke again before you could. “There was one detail from my earliest incarnation that spoke of a ‘ghost’, an immortal spark that couldn’t be snuffed out. One that could travel through space and time.” He drew closer to the bars. “And then discovered a way to travel through dimensions. Wherein, I found out all about how so many humans have seen my reality behind a television screen.”

What was he talking about? What did any of what he said mean? It was then that it all clicked for you. Sparks were essentially the ‘soul’ of a Transformer, which Starscream’s was indestructible. You read that he made an appearance in Beast Wars, and had made cameos elsewhere. What was before you right now...mere feet away…” Are you.. “ you stammered. “Are you really…”

The Decepticon nodded. “Yes. Yes, I am, Y/N.”

You were left speechless. No. No, this...this was impossible. It...it couldn’t be him! It couldn’t be the REAL Starscream! He was a cartoon, no, a toy! A damn toy! A toy from the eighties that were made to be marketable to young boys (and the girls that were secretly into it) among several other toys that were made be marketable to young boys (and again, the girls that were secretly into it)! There was NO way he was in your mind right now! He wasn’t real! He wasn’t real! He wasn’t-

“You step out into the chilled air, wrapping your arms around yourself as you do.” the Decepticon suddenly began. “He’s there to pick you up. He’s there to pick you up. You’re both terrified and exhilarated, eager to start the night, but also to make it fly by just enough so nothing embarrassing would happen between the two of you.” your jaw dropped when you heard him say that. How did he- “Know that you recently read over your very first entry? The one that started it all?” he then ‘rolled’ his eyes. “The one that clearly displayed that you had little taste at first?”

Of course, you did! That was from your very first X Reader story! It told of Optimus Prime and you, a human, in a relationship. Odd start, you knew, especially given that Transformer x Human relations was sort of controversial, yet overall, it wasn’t a bad one. Still, the fact he knew that…” No.” you said aloud. “It can’t be.”

He smiled. “I am.”

You stepped back until you hit a wall. “S-Starscream.” you stuttered. “You’re him. You’re the...the real one.” he was quite satisfied with your reaction, you clearly flustered yet cautious at the same time. The sensation drove you mad. But then you remember, this was just a dream! You were just making up all this stuff! You were relieved by this revelation...yet at the same time, you were...curious. Just where would this go if you continued? “Well...well, what are you doing here? What do you want?”

“Exactly as I said before, I feel left out,” Starscream told you. “And considering my popularity in this universe, I’d think me being here should tell you something.”

You knew what he wanted. “You want me to write about you.” it was obvious. “I-I know. I mean, I’ve been wanting to. Really, I have. But...but I...I just…” you sighed. If you knew Starscream (and you had at least a decent enough faith you did), you knew that this could potentially earn you his anger. Yet, to your surprise, he didn’t try to order you around. Instead, he seemed like he already knew you were going to say that.

“You can’t,” he said for you. “Understand, I’m the one in YOUR mind. Thus, you could say, I know everything about you. A perk of being something that, in this universe, started out as a drawing on a piece of paper.” you were confused, this seemed to humor Starscream even more. “Oh, come now. Surely you know that concept art exists, right?”

All of this was so insane for you, yet it was then that you felt the urge to speak up and say something for yourself for once. “Well, if you’re here from the...well, YOUR universe, what are you doing here in the first place?”

“Why, this is one of the few places I win!” Starscream exclaimed. “Of course, when I first came here, I was quite perplexed about how I and many others were known as products from a company called ‘Hasbro’. But overtime, I discovered your version of the internet, and, well, as you flesh bags say, the rest is history.” he then continued, not giving you a chance to speak. “And bring that I am an idea in this universe, I can go freely as I wish, peering into minds,” his red eyes looked upon you. “Become one’s permanent muse or vice versa.”

God, you felt weird. You felt so confused and conflicted. You wanted to sink into the wall to get away, but you also wanted to know more about this. You had to know more. You needed to know more. “So…?”

“So, I’ve come to you, as you’re truly in need of some inspiration,” Starscream said. “As well as some changes in your thinking.”

“Like what? Worshiping the ground you walk on?” you ask, feeling a little bolder.

“Oh, you already do.” he said. “If you didn’t desire me, I wouldn’t be here.” he grinned at your shocked expression. “That’s right, Y/N, I know what truly holds you back from writing about me. Your fears, your anxieties, your loves and lusts.” you had no words. “You fear that you may get me wrong if you will. That I won’t be in character. Or you fear that you won’t be able to satisfy the wants of your readers, as I AM so highly anticipated. Or…” he leaned closer to the bars, the only barrier separating you two. “You fear exploring those more intimate pleasures with me. You’re intimidated and unsure. After all, writing for Autobots is easy, yet us Decepticons are more difficult. But it HAS awakened things in you that you wish to explore on either side. Things that you are dying to let out.”

You had no words, he was completely right. Damn him! The smug bastard knew he had you in the palm of his hand...and yet also probably knew that’s what made you so hot and bothered right now! “So...what? Are you here to force me to write those things with you in them?”

“Dear Y/N, I can’t technically make you do anything,” Starscream told you. “Oh yes, I can stay and torment you night after night until either I pass onto another universe or I grow bored of you, but my reason being here is for both our benefits.”

“How?”

“It’s quite simple,” he said. “We shall go through those scenarios in your head.” his ruby red optics bore into yours/your eyes. “Together.” he then reached out from in between the bars and traced a digit around your jawline. “Believe it or not, I want to help you, Y/N.” his voice was smooth and sultry, something you never expected from a voice like his. “But only you can allow me to do so.” he then stepped back from the bars. “This prison of mine is something you’ve constructed from your fears and insecurities. Allow yourself to embrace what you fear…” he then extended his hand again, yet stepped back as well, sinking into the darkness. “Only then, will you truly be free.”

You were at a standstill. You knew what he wanted, and, to your horror, you were wanting to give it to him. Deny it all you want, this was something that had been in your mind ever since you got the first request for the Seeker. You approached the bars, trying to get some sign that he was still there. Surely he hadn’t left you, had he? No, he hadn’t. He was still there, you could feel him. Watching, waiting, and perhaps, knowing what you would do before you did.

Yet would you do it? Would you bite into that forbidden fruit?

Some while after pondering this question, you looked at the cell, the energy bars vanishing. Why fight it when you could already taste the sweet tartness of said fruit in the back of your throat?

#starscream g1 #starscream #tfp #transformers bayverse #transformers animated #transformers cyberverse #transformers x reader #lemon #set up #fanfic #reader #self insert #first part

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unlikely-course · 3 years

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The tl;drs of this very long post, which is about Gideon’s arc and her relationship to Harrow:

-Gideon’s arc in gtn is a corruption arc because tlt is not just goth but Gothic

-Gideon “forgives” Harrow because of Trauma and that’s definitely not the endpoint of how she feels about Harrow or their past

-The narrative knows what it’s doing

When Gideon says “For the Ninth!” as she dies, and thinks “this is the loyalty they always said I lacked, this is me making good” that’s not growth, that’s part of the tragedy of the moment. Like, the Ninth does not deserve her allegiance! It is, as Gideon was the first to remind us, rotten to the core. When she dies, it’s for Harrow, and her saying it’s for the Ninth does represent on some level that she’s come to new understanding about who Harrow is and how Harrow views herself *as* the Ninth, but like this is, I mean. Bad. Harrow herself does not deserve Gideon’s loyalty! Gideon gives it to her because it is a relief. Gideon is very good, yes, but the forgiveness is a response to trauma. The second Harrow shows even the slightest vulnerability or regard for Gideon, Gideon is eager to make amends because she has been starved for any positive association to others for her entire life, and Harrow was literally the only peer she ever had to associate with. She correctly identified that resistance to Ninth society was vital to her survival and selfhood, but also that shit is exhausting. That resistance is also partially formed by that society conveying to her: we have no place for you, we have no use for you as you are, and that makes you hateful to us.

Her response to Harrow and the cavalier role then is pretty classic! It is a relief to have a place, to be able to stop fighting, to give herself over to a structure sold to her as one in which she can support and be supported, to resolve the central conflict and most complicated relationship of her life. I maintain that you the reader are also supposed to feel initially relieved and even cheered by Gideon and Harrow growing closer and then gradually unsettled when Gideon embraces cavalierhood and the increasingly invasive demands of the trials, and has her mindset adjusted in increments toward sacrifice. To feel her thoughts turn in this direction is alarming! This is purposeful, and it is purposefully mixed in with good feelings, the same good feelings that Gideon is getting, to distract from and inoculate you against what is happening just as Gideon is inoculated against it.

In addition, Canaan House is a very particular crucible. This is not only the first time that Gideon has ever been bombarded with new people and experiences, but also the first time she’s faced these unknown external threats, which pushes her to unite with the familiar (Harrow) against them. Her past and present environments have made it so that the compassion she comes to feel for Harrow gets bound up in the idea of being loyal to her house, the ‘contract’ of her new role, and the positive interaction it gives her until the idea of her offering her life to Harrow is not simply necessary in the moment but good and right. Redeeming, even, when we as readers know she has nothing she needs redemption for.

Gideon is so very angry when she comes to in htn, and it is not merely anger at those who have wronged Harrow or anger at Harrow for endangering herself. On the First, she made a simple deal: her life for relief from the emotional state she had to live it in. Forgiveness for some kind of peace. And when she wakes up that exchange is refuted. Gideon frames Harrow’s actions as a rejection of herself out of low self-esteem but also in an attempt to deal with unresolved anger she has towards Harrow, anger that cannot fit into the cavalier role she wants to embody, anger that she attempted to trade away but in actuality can’t. Because the role she was sold, the type of relationship the cavalier and necro is supposed to be, is ultimately false. It encompasses very real and deep relationships, as we have seen, but the framework uses these real elements to its own ends, the Empire’s ends, and despite its proclamations of mutual care the relationship is always at the cavalier’s expense.

This is what it means to say Gideon’s arc in gtn is a corruption arc. It’s not that she becomes “bad,” it’s that the corrupting forces of the narrative have reached out and altered her, worn her down, seduced her even. This is Gideon’s first contact with the wider Empire, in the seat and seed of its wretched power, and it has used her goodness, her capacity for connection (and yes for forgiveness as well!) against her to further ensnare her, to draw her in line with itself. And then she dies for it, as it demands! Wow. And the we have the other side of that, which is when Gideon says “For the Ninth!” she’s signaling to Harrow that she has come to value what Harrow values, just as Harrow herself, watching in horror, has come to realize her values are very fucked up.

And Harrow has indeed realized that by that time! Harrow really does travel such a distance in gtn, but this is largely obscured from us just the same as plot details are in the book, by the limits of Gideon’s perception. And let me be clear: this is a feature, not a bug. It is not a weakness. It is vital! Integral! To the above, and all it entails for Gideon as a character and the overall themes of the series, that Gideon forgive Harrow without Harrow having “earned” it or made real amends. The fact that she does conveys to us everything I’ve just been talking about!

Furthermore, this story is in conversation with a rather particular type of Christianity, but Gideon’s Jesus parallels are even more widely applicable. Forgiveness is kind of a whole theme with that guy, and the book is also plenty interested in what it costs for a human to forgive as divinely as scripture demands (to forgive as the bond demands, as the empire demands). In some ways there are good things that may come of it, sure, but it is not a purely redemptive force for the giver or receiver. It does not necessarily resolve.

I myself can’t say that I ship Gideon and Harrow in the way people traditionally think of shipping, nor as I have traditionally shipped other characters. Still, I reject the notion that that way of relating to each other is not a central part of the questions the book is asking. Like before, when I was talking about Gideon finding something to believe in in the way the adept/cavalier bond is sold to her—although we see that bond encompass many different types of relationships it is in Gideon and Harrow’s case speaking to how romantic love (much like that forgiveness!) is not immediately and entirely redemptive. I mean, Muir does say the series is about how love can be redemptive, but I think can be is the operative phrase here, in that it’s also first demonstrating the ways it’s not, or at least not always the way we think it will be--the limits and then the power. Trying to set that aspect of the relationship aside (like a “sisters” route or something similar) is a weak and queasy side-stepping of the issue.

Remember that interview where Muir says something along the lines of like, she didn’t write it as necessarily romantic but definitely homoerotic? Yeah.

Despite all that I do want to make it clear that I hope Gideon and Harrow work it out in the end. Just don’t assume the narrative does not understand what working it out might entail. And who knows? I might have the read all wrong. Maybe Muir doesn’t understand what she’s doing. But I feel pretty compelled by the textual evidence.

#gideon the ninth #gideon nav #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth spoilers #harrow the ninth spoilers

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aspecpplarebeautiful · 3 years

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Not sure where to ask this, but if I can choose whether or not feelings are romantic or platonic and can choose whether I'm sexually attracted to someone or not, and also just... change my mind if I want (e.g. romance doesn't pan out, so I decide it's platonic without being hurt or upset, or on the other hand i can be friends right after a breakup), is this somewhere on the ace/aro spectrum?? Further complications: I'm also a lesbian so this only apples to girls?? And romantic attraction does require some sort of preexisting bond? Sexual attraction sort of requires it sometimes? Feel free to ignore me lmao I'm very confused

The concept of choosing if an attraction is romantic or platonic or choosing to be sexually attracted or not is an experience I've heard other aros and aces say they've had. And that can be a few different things, but in general can be a sign of being on the aro and ace spectrums.

One thing you may find useful is there's a few identities that cover that gray area between romantic and platonic. A big one is Alterous attraction which is:

a type of attraction with both romantic and platonic elements but isn’t fully either. Someone experiencing alterous attraction may be OK with a romantic relationship, a platonic relationship, or something that defies labels entirely. And what will matter most to someone experiencing alterous attraction is that they have a strong emotional bond with the person they’re attracted to.

There's also some aro-spec identities:

Idemromantic: Someone who categorizes relationships as romantic or platonic but experiences no internal differences.

Platoniromantic: When someone experiences no difference between romantic and platonic attraction.

Quoiromantic: There's an excellent write-up in the link, but basically the idea of not actively identifying with a romantic orientation, or finding romance/romantic attraction , inaccessible, inapplicable, nonsensical, not useful, etc.

So if you're feeling like you're choosing between feeling romantic attraction or not, it's possible one of these gray area labels may resonate (it's also OK if they don't).

For choosing to experience sexual attraction or not, I'd also recommend looking into asexual spectrum labels, and there's a few identities where whether or not sexual attraction is felt is dependent on various factors. Unfortunately there's too many to just list but this is a great page to check out for some of the more common ones. You can also check out the LGBTA Wiki which is a great resource and has a page on a lot of ace/aro spectrum identities.

For attraction coming after a pre-existing bond, I'd definitely recommend looking into demisexual/demiromantic. And that just means someone who has to have a bond with someone before sexual/romantic attraction will develop. So that might be worth reading up on.

At the end of the day whether or not ace/aro is right for you is whether the labels are useful for you or not. Do you feel like allosexual/alloromantic doesn't fit right? Or that you're not experiencing the full range or romantic/sexual orientation? Do you feel like you relate to other ace/aro people or the community? These are the questions that will help you the most.

And hopefully something above gives you a direction to look into or research for figuring yourself out. It may be though that there is no microlabel that's quite right for you, and don't feel like you have to match something exactly to identify as ace or aro. It's a very diverse community and there isn't a label for every experience, or some labels are really obscure and hard to find. At the end of the day it's about what makes sense to you and what feels right for what labels you adopt.

All the best, Anon! And good luck. And feel free to ask if you have more questions.

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swordancer7 · 3 years

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⚠️⚠️SDR2 SPOILERS⚠️⚠️

How I would have done a blackened Sonia

All right, so, I never thought Sonia was going to survive till the end of the game. She seemed suspicious to me in every trial and I felt she always had possible ways of killing the victim that were less far fetched then some of the actual killers.

She also seemed easy to kill, she is a princess with 0 real world experience so fooling her into being in dangerous situations would be easy. Being a foreigner as well, means you could get away with some bullshit saying it was just cultural difference.

I know Kazuichi is the easy route, but I think it would be interesting if she killed him.

I'm thinking specially about chapter 4, where she would have been the killer instead of Gundham. In part because when I played I thought that Gundham is was dumb to make an elaborate kill like Nekomaru's. However, I would make Gundham the most suspect person in this one case.

Since he and Sonia spent a long time together that chapter for the first time, it makes a quick correlation between him, her and Kazuichi.

The circumstances of Kazuichi's death would be:

-He is found dead stabbed on the chest, laying in his own bed;

-He is found with strange blood splatters in his suit. His arm is close to his body, but the blood splatters in his sleeve and chest form a big and unusual angle.

-his knees are pointing to the wall, close to the end of the bed, but the knife is in his chest, so if the person was sat in the bed they would have had to reach around him to kill him, or he really was stabbed while laying on his back.

In my version, I'd add more scenes to the chapter: one of some of the students playing with Gundham's hamsters, probably Hajime, someone from strawberry house and Kazuichi himself, adding a new clue:

-He has white, grey and brown fur on his hand/sleeve.

The other scene would be very minor, Kazuichi would go explore the Straeberry house together (as usual the victim spends more time with the protagonist before their death). Kazuichi and Hajime have a very awkward time since Kazuichi is clearly so suspicious of Hinata since the last trial. They never solve this weird tension and it keeps bugging Hinata after the trial because he knows Kazuichi wanted to believe him because of the talk they had during exploring the house.

During the exploration of the strawberry house/grape house there is a throw away line mentioning that Kazuichi paints his nails very poorly. Which leads me to the new clue about the body:

-Kazuichi's nails are perfectly painted black.

Someone beside's Nagito still has used the final room and someone notes that one of Kazuichi's tools is missing from his toolbox, that Kazuichi has mentioned to Hajime that he is proud to still complete (he is clumsy, he loses stuff sometimes). The elevator is broken in the grape house.

Now to the trial:

Sonia is one of the very first accused, but is quickly considered innocent since she wasnt part of the playing with the 4 devas of destruction scene. She even assumes she isnt as sad as she would be for his death like he was from previous victims, but that is shrugged off since he did bother her a lot and she was never seen being mean to him.

As I said, Gundham is suspect n°1. The fur in Kazuichi's hand/ sleeve is the collor of the 4 devas of destruction, though the other person in the scene and Hajime are also framed and considered suspects (mainly Hajme, since he also searched the houses with Kazuichi).

Out of the ones left, who else wears black nail polish? Gundham of course. Someone reveals that they did see Gundham entering his room, but all the other floors of the house where occupied and no one saw him in them beforehand.

I already told you Sonia is guilty, and I think part of the reason they move away from her so soon would be that often the game comes up with weird complicated tangents that distract from the real case, but the cases are often stupidly complicated as well, so this would get the player off their rithym by actually being one of the easiest things to explain.

"The elevator was stuck in grape house, but he died in strawberry house. The murdered probably made it stop on grape house as a red herring!" How did he do that? Idk, but they assume that's it and latter have to return and remember theres no proof of a way someone in strawberry house could make the elevator stop at grape house.

"Sonia wasnt playing with the hamsters, the fur in Kazuichi's sleeve was probably from that moment" Sonia didnt play with the dark devas, but that doesnt mean she couldn't have done it in another moment, when she was hanging out with Gundham.

"How would have Gundham gotten inside Kazuichi's room?" First conclusion is that he offered to paint Souda's nails as a excuse to get in his room.

And heres the thing: he was indeed the one who painted Kazuichi's nails, it even happened in Kazuichi's room. The someone who saw him enters his room did actually see him coming back from Kazuichi's room, but at that moment Kazuichi was still alive.

What happened was: Sonia went to Kazuichi's room after Gundham left, because she knew Gundham was going there, he mentioned it to her when they explored the houses together.

She gets in the room and plays a little with Kazuichi, pretends to be interested, gives him some affection and he ends up laying on her lap, which makes things easy when she finally stabs him.

Theres 2 ways you could play this out, the Souda x Gundham way and the non shipy way.

So if you are not interest in the shiping side, heres how I would do it: Gundham doesnt like seeing people fight, it's part of his nurturing nature, he offers to paint Kazuichi's nails as a peace offering and to explain he isnt romantically interested in Sonia, as well as to ask him to not doubt Hinata either, since he can sense (as in: knows by his body lenguage) that Hajime doesnt plan on hurting anyone, much less Kazuichi who he considers a friend.

Sonia did approach Gundham for an interest in his obscure aesthetic and the thing about raising animals that is important for courtship rituals in her country, that she mentions in her free time event. But when Gundham tells her he wants to talk to Kazuichi she is an opportunity to frame him for the murder, she is already reached her boiling point with Kazuichi, even if she doesnt show it (like celeste).

Like celeste, she has been desperate to leave the game (as she also mentions in her free time event). She feels the responsibility to come back to her country, that she cant leave her people without a governor and she finally saw a chance of escaping the island.

Ok, shippy way: Sonia is jealous of Kazuichi because Gundham tells her he has a crush on Kazuichi. And Sonia has a crush on Gundham.

She cant stand Kazuichi anymore, all her life people have pretend to be her friends/lovers to gain her trust and favours, she doesnt trust anyone who is too enthusiastic about being close to her. That's why she likes Gundham, he is mysterious and quiet and she feels she has to conquer him instead of having him lead her on for favours.

Gundham is pretty bad at expressing his feelings but (as seen in his free time events) he is also clearly starved for affection. Kazuichi seems to have a grudge against him and Gundham admires that he is so enthusiastic about how much he likes Sonia, and fuck dude, he wants someone to be in love with him like that.

Sonia is completely done with Kazuichi already, and kills him out of anger and jealousy. He got Gundham interested in him despite being annoying all the time and she feels like he was stealing Gundham from her right when she was able to conquer his friendship.

She likes true crime, she has seen lots of stories of people murdering others for love, she even thinks its romantic.

So yeah, that's it. Its kinds dumb but I think it's ok since so many of the cases in the game are already dumb.

#soudam #sonia nevermind #sdr2 spoilers #kazuichi souda #gundham tanaka #gundham x kazuichi #sdr2 #sdr2 kazuichi #sdr2 sonia #sdr2 gundham #danganronpa 2

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