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youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms · 6 months

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Love Thorns All Over This Rose

Words: 2577

Warnings: angst, talks of a miscarriage, body image, talks of difficulty staying pregnant, mention of what is technically a still-birth, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-medicating, accidental suicide attempt (this is will make sense if you read it), probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever

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IF THERE IS A WANT FOR A PART 2, I WILL DO ONE, IF NOT, THEN THIS STAYS AS A ONE-SHOT!

I mention Y/N goes to a church to pray, it is described more as a Christian or Catholic one (I really don't know the difference and I apologize) as she lights a candle before she prays. If you wish to skip that part, it starts with "Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral." and ends with "Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out.". I do also mention that the reader themselves aren't very religious (but grew up with it so reverted back to old practices to see if it helped)

Alfred is also dead in this (don't ask why he just is) so that's why he isn't here!

The POV here isn't really consistent. It jumps between being with the Batkids, Bruce, and Y/N's. I tried to make it flow though so hopefully that works!

I feel like I should mention:

Bruce and Y/N's ages don't matter (I'm not in the mood to deal with that) but; Dick is 31 (and married to Kori but that's not too important), Jason is 25, Tim is 22, Damian is 15, Cass is 24, and Steph is 23

I also am not too familiar with Duke, so that is why he isn't there much. Mostly just mentioned

Anywho, enjoy

Love Z <3

7:25 AM

The kids watched as Y/N was silent as she put the plate down in front of Bruce's empty seat. They all noted how fake her smile looked as she looked up at them. "Alright, I will see you kids later!"

They all watched as she walked out of the dining room and once they knew she was out of earshot, they started talking.

"Did she eat anything?"

It was Jason, he had been the last down (well...outside of Tim) so he only saw her putting the plates down and ushering them to eat.

Dick shook his head, he had seen her the entire time she made breakfast. Fully clothed, which was unusual as she usually just made breakfast in her pajamas with her hair occasionally brushed. But not today. Today her hair was done, makeup was on, she was dressed as if she was working.

But everyone in that house knew she was still off after what happened, even though it had been 3 months since the incident.

Damian flicked at his food, "Ummi was supposed to take me to school today."

Dick smiled at Damian, "I can, Dami. Mom is just...preoccupied."

Damian hmphed and continued to play with his food. Dick was concerned for his younger brother. He knew that while he himself was close with the woman he had allowed to become his mother, Damian was so much more as she was really the only person who never got mad at him or made fun of him when he didn't understand something.

Jason abruptly stood, "Since mom isn't here, I'm just gonna go."

Dick raised a brow, "Really Jason? You're just gonna leave after--"

"Hey, we've been over this before Dick. I come because mom asks me to." He shrugged as he put his jacket on, "Plus, I'm going to follow her."

Stephanie snorted, "She'll kill you when she catches you."

"If she catches me. If."

Steph hummed, "My bets are on she will. Y/N is always on the lookout, especially after..." She faded and looked down, regret piling up inside her as she thought of what she was about to say.

"Either way, tell us what you find Jason."

He nodded to Dick's request before heading out the side door in the kitchen. Dick tapped his hand on the table for a minute before speaking; "I'm gonna go check on dad, Damian go get everything ready and I'll meet you at the entryway, alright?"

The eldest stood, placing a gentle hand on the youngest shoulder before heading to the stairs. Dick was concerned. He had never seen his mother so...shut off. Pretending like everything was alright even though everyone who saw her could tell that she was so close to jumping off of a bridge.

The closest that he had seen her to this was back when Jason died and she broke up with Bruce. But even then, she didn't avoid things that she had already planned. Even then, she stayed committed to things.

Plus, Dick knew she had no plans today. Well...no plans except for the fact that beforehand this would have been her due date. And he knew that that was most likely what had off-set her so badly.

Dick didn't even knock before opening the door to Bruce's study. He was even speaking before his father even looked up from his computer. "Have you talked to mom?"

Bruce raised a brow, "What?"

"Mom." Dick crossed his arms, "When was the last time you and her had a real conversation?"

Bruce shrugged, "I'm not sure." He looked at Dick oddly, "What are you going on about?"

Dick let out a hard sigh, "You two are married, it is your job to take care of her. Goddammit Bruce!" He threw his hands up in anger, "You know what? Nevermind, I'm not...I'm not even going to try."

He angrily turned and walked out of the room. He didn't even understand why he even thought that talking to Bruce would help. He just walked down the stairs and remembered his promise to get Damian to school. Trying to hide the anxiety he had that he didn't know what exactly his mom was doing.

--------

9:09 AM

Jason watched Y/N walk out of the convenience store all the way in Blüdhaven. From where he was, he couldn't see what she had bought, but the moment he saw her go into the store, he had messaged Tim to watch her bank account. To watch what she was purchasing. Something felt...off as he watched her.

Jason knew that after the...accident, Y/N had been hard to reach. To talk to. He knew that she and Bruce hadn't been sleeping in the same bed since that argument he had accidently heard them having around 3 weeks after everything happened. So 4 weeks ago.

Granted...from what he had heard, it wasn't even a fight that they had had. Mostly just words being thrown at the other. Words that Jason never thought that he would hear either one say to the other. Words that he never told any of his siblings that he heard. All out of fear that one of them would panic. And while sure, he had a disdain for Tim and Damian, that didn't mean he would ever let either of them know what he had heard.

Jason wasn't sure how long he had been watching her just sit in the car before Tim finally texted him a list of what Y/N had bought in the past week. And considering Jason had seen her previous bank records for a week, it was a sure red mark with how short it was.

Tim

In the past week she's gotten a lot of sleeping pills. That's basically all that she has gotten. That plus energy and pain pills. Duke is thinking she's self-medicating again

Jason sighed as he pocketed his phone when he saw his mom driving out of the parking lot. He kept a safe distance behind her as he followed her on her drive back to Gotham.

--------

12:15 PM

Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral. Trying not to make a misstep and fall as well as trying not to draw attention to herself. She closed the umbrella over her head as she walked in. Placing it in the small holder, she brushed the front of her outfit as her heels clicked on the ground when she walked down the long hall.

Last time she was there was for her mothers funeral last year. Last time she had walked up and grabbed the larger candle to dip down and light the smaller one. Her heart pounded in her chest as she kneeled, words swimming through her head and mumbling off her lips.

She herself was never very religious, but having grown up that way, she wondered if praying like she did as a child would work. Praying that things would get better and that she would get better.

She shakily did the cross on her before standing and wiping the tears that had silently fallen away from her cheeks. She turned and started to make her way out of the church when she heard a voice call out her name:

"Mrs. Wayne! We were not expecting you here today, is everything alright?"

Y/N slowly turned to face one of the Nuns, a small, fake, smile on her face. "Oh yes, everything is alright Sister. Just came here to pray for a moment. I haven't in such a long time."

The nun nodded, "Very well, I hope the Good Lord hears your prayer and makes it happen."

Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out. She grabbed her umbrella before opening the door and walking out. She practically ran back to her car, wanting to get in before anyone saw her out.

But Cass and Steph did. They watched her speed back to her car as they sat in the cafe across the way. Stephanie shook her head, "She never goes there. Especially not since her mothers deaths."

Cass nodded as Steph continued; "Something is seriously going on with Y/N. Maybe something else has happened that we don't know."

"She's been deteriorating for the past 4 weeks."

Steph raised a bow and inquired, "4 weeks?" Cass nodded, "Huh...weird, that's around a week after she came home from the hospital." She grabbed her phone and started typing in the groupchat that only held the kids (Damian not included):

Steph

when did Bruce disappear for a few days after Y/N came home?"

It didn't take long for Tim to respond

logs say he left 35 hours after she got home and came back 83 hours later why?

Cass

She's been slowly getting worse sense then

Jason

I overheard them arguing around 3 weeks after everything happened and I know they haven't been sleeping in the same room since then. And I'm not sure how important this is; but Tim checked her bank account and she bought different pills so me, him, and Duke think she's medicating again. Or that she's going to start again.

Cass and Steph looked at each other, concern and worry was on their faces as they read Jason's last message. Something started unnerving them as they thought of the things she could possibly do if she was going to start medicating again.

----

3:25 PM

Y/N looked at her body in the mirror. Her hands came to lay on her stomach. Just like she did before. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she stared at her flatter stomach. She breathed shakily as her hands fell down to her sides.

Why?

Was all she ever asked.

Why me? Why did this happen to me?

She was so confused. She had always been good. Done everything to be a good person. But yet she still had that happen to her. Was she just not meant to be a mother?

Of course...she was one. She was a mother to 4 amazing boys and 1 beautiful girl. But still...it was different. Yes, those 5 children were hers, but that one. That singular one that she had carried for nearly 7 months had meant so much to her. Especially after being told time and time again it wouldn't happen.

It wasn't even the first time it had happened. She had had miscarriages before...but that wasn't what it was this time. The kidnapping. Bruce and the kids had found her after 2 days. The emergency c-section to save the baby.

But she knew. Of course she knew. She knew it had died.

Her baby girl. She had died before she even got the chance to live.

Y/N shakily breathed as she grabbed one of the bottles from the counter. She had thought it was the pain medication. But it hadn't been.

Sleeping meds.

Ever since it happened she had hardly been able to sleep. Nightmares of what happened still plagued her mind. Bruce yelling at her still echoed in her brain. Those...twisted words he said echoed inside of her.

She had popped a few in her mouth before dry-swallowing them and getting into the bath she had started earlier. The hot water felt like it was searing her skin, but she didn't care. She wondered if maybe she did this enough, whoever was above would forgive her of her sins and let her keep a pregnancy.

She wasn't sure how long she had stayed in the water before it became difficult to keep her head above water. Her body just felt so heavy. She wondered what pain meds she had grabbed at the store. She couldn’t remember them making her feel this way before. After a few moments of struggling to keep her head up, she felt her body sink down and under the water. But even as she felt water rush into her nose and fill her lungs, she couldn't bring herself to move and get out.

She just accepted her fate.

----

3:30 PM

Bruce sat in his office, a bad feeling settling in his stomach. Something was telling him to check on Y/N. See if she was alright. He knew she had returned around 20 minutes ago, the security cameras had caught her walking in.

He carefully stood from his desk and walked out of his office. He walked down the oddly quiet halls of the manor. A small feeling of pain and guilt started to eat at him as he got closer to the guest room she had been staying in. He knew she was struggling. He knew that she needed him today. But he just...couldn't.

He was selfish. He knew this.

He knew he was so goddamn selfish. Caring about his own feelings rather than helping his wife. She had been the one to physically go through everything. She had been the one to bear that trauma.

He had been so incredibly selfish since she had come home from the hospital. He had even begun to wonder why she even stayed in the manor.

But as he opened the door to the guest room, unrest settled inside him as he saw she wasn't there but the bathroom door was open. It was silent. He had known his wife long enough to know she never was silent in the bathroom. She almost always had music playing.

He pushed the bedroom door further open as he walked further in. Anxiety started to reach a breaking point as he walked into the bathroom.

And time felt like it moved in slow-motion as he saw her state. Her knees bent out of the water, her head under. He saw the three bottles of pills on the counter. He saw the open one read sleep on them. He ran over to the tub, grabbing under her arms and pulling her out.

He bent down, trying to listen for a heartbeat. He felt like his own heart stopped as he heard nothing. Not even a faint thump of one. He quickly moved to her side and started CPR.

Everything still felt like it was moving slower than it was as he pushed down on her sternum. Tears gathered in his eyes as he repeatedly slammed down onto her. As he breathed into her mouth. He didn't stop. He couldn't stop.

It felt like an eternity had passed by the time he finally had gotten the CPR to work. She began to cough profusely, water spluttering everywhere. He sobbed as he heard her shallow breaths break through the air.

He heard the noise of Dick's voice breaking. "Mom?"

He looked at him, seeing both him and Damian staring at the scene in front of them. Staring as their father held their mother in his arms. As tears fell from his eyes, he pleaded for them to call 911.

It was with shaky hands that Dick did it. His words sounded choked back, he kept stuttering. Trying to say what he was supposed to but his mind was running at a million miles and and half a mile a second at the same time. Everything felt fuzzy and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. All that he knew was that he walked in on his dad doing CPR on his mom.

That was all he knew.

That was all Dick knew.

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amsgrey · 1 year

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Can you do a story of the Halstead siblings with their younger sister (14 or 15). They all have a family dinner (Will, Jay, and Y/n) together and movie night and Y/n starts choking and Will has to save her but they comfort her and they get all scared and protective and have to take her into the hospital to get checked

Deja Vu

Warnings: Hospital stay, mention of seizures and vague insinuations of epilepsy, terrible writing, not proofread and general bad understanding of medical conditions and procedures lol

read part II here.

Sunday night dinners were Halstead tradition and you liked to think there was nothing that would stop it. That was until one of your brothers had a work emergency and was called in. For the last two weeks, one of your brothers couldn't make it, so as a way of making up for it, they both made sure to be there this Sunday.

As a way of making up got it, Will promised to make mac and cheese and garlic bread. You grinned and claimed it was the best winter comfort food. Jay rolled his eyes, for reasons beyond you he wasn't the biggest fan of Mac and Cheese. He claimed it was because it was all you ate when you were younger and he got sick of only eating it for days on end.

You rolled your eyes, "You can't be related to me."

You were sandwiched between both of your brothers on the couch, watching the game with dinner on your lap. You were tucked under a blanket with fluffy socks and comfy PJ pants on. Jay and Will were focused entirely on the hockey game on the TV. You were chewing on a piece of garlic bread when Jay and Will started cheering at the screen.

You felt like your soul left your body from the fright. You should have been expecting them to start cheering, but you were too engrossed in your garlic bread to realize. You started to chuckle, trying to clear your throat of the garlic bread that had lodged there when you had gasped from the shock.

Will and Jay didn't seem to notice, you were always kind of jumpy. Especially when they started cheering loudly for their team. You coughed a few more times, only succeeding in getting the bread stuck in your throat more. You started to panic, now the bread was choking you fully, blocking the air you kept gasping for.

You coughed a few more times, grabbing Wills forearm and clenching tightly.

"You okay?" Will asked, giving you a few hard pats on the back.

You shook your head, grabbing your chest as your throat started to burn.

"Y/N?" Jay asked, turning his full attention to you and trying to sooth you with a hand on your back.

You were sure the world was moving slowly, the last few seconds were dragging so excruciating slow. Will started to get more worried when you stopped coughing, not gasping at all. He quickly got to his feet, pulling you up off the couch and trying to dislodge the bread with the heimlich. In the process you were sure he moved all of your organs but it was a fleeting thought that flashed through your oxygen deprived mind.

"Will, it's not working," Jay said, standing in front of you with a terrified look.

"I know, Jay," Will said back, just as panicked, "I know."

By now, you were sure thing were slowing down. In the corner of your eyes you could see the hockey game continuing, but it was like the the player were moving at half the speed they normally did. The sounds of the room started the echo and distort, your brain fighting your lungs for oxygen and not able to win.

Eventually, Wil gave up on the heimlich. Feeling you grow more and more limp in his arms. His brain was clouded with his own panic, he had to fight himself to help you and not freeze in terror. He lay you down on the ground, watching your face that was filled with panic.

He pressed two fingers to your neck, feeling your racing pulse beneath his fingertips.

"Jay," Will called, "I need you to get me a knife and a pen."

Jay hesitated, "A pen-?"

"Yes!" Will shouted back, "Just do it!"

Jay rushed out of the room. WIll could hear him frantically opening drawers and rummaging through them. Moments later he came back with the knife and pen, shoving the knife towards Will and waiting for his further instructions.

Jay had seen enough things on the job to know what was coming next. He watched you pass out, completely limp on the floor at his knees. Will ordered him to unscrew the pen, then get on the phone with 911 and get an ambulance there straight away.

Jay did what he was told, watching as Will cranked his little sister with the little supplies he had on hand. When Will had finished his makeshift crank, he breathed a few breathes into the pen to try prompt your body to breathe for itself.

What felt like an entirenity later there was a loud knock on the door. Jay raced to the door to let the two paramedics in.

"Dr Halstead?" Brett asked, shocked to see him hovering over his little sisters limp body.

Will started to rattle off what had happened, but he stumbled over his words unable to fully explain. He worked in a high pressure environment every day but now he was struggling to get the words out to help his own sister. Brett and Violet weren't at all fazed, just immediately started working. Jay and Will helped them transfer you to the stretcher then the ambulance.

Will climbed into the back, vaguely registering Jay say he would follow in his truck. Will's mind was racing, he wasn't sure exactly how long it took before he could get you oxygen again. It felt like forever, but it couldn't have been more than 4 minutes. What if it was 5? Will knew the likelihood of a hypoxic brain injury increased significantly after 3 minutes, he had no idea how this would turn out.

The drive to Med felt even slower, Will fumbled with his phone to call ahead to Maggie, knowing she would have things prepared.

"Hey Will," Maggie answered, the sounds of the ED almost overpowering her voice.

"Maggie," Will's voice broke, "i- uh"

Will had to pause, compose himself.

"I'm on the way with Y/n, she- uh, she choked. I need abrams," Will stuttered.

Maggie was silent on the other end for a few seconds, "How far out are you?"

Will relayed the question to Brett in the front, who called back, "4 minutes!"

"We'll be ready, Will," Maggie said.

Jay hadn't left your bedside the whole night. After getting you to med, Dr Abrams had completed a neurological exam that had given Jay a sickening sense of Deja Vu. It felt so much like what they had gone through with your dad. You had only been 6 when he had died, you knew nothing about what was happening. Jay and Will had to try and shelter you from it all. But now Jay had the same sinking feeling.

The only thing that was keeping him sane was the way Dr Abrams had said your results were promising.

Will came and stayed for a few hours, before an emergency had Ms Goodwin asking for his help in the ED. It didn't bother Jay, he knew Will was just outside the doors should he need him.

It was almost 3 in the morning when the monitors started beeping in a strange symphony. Jay looked over at the array of screens, but he knew nothing about what was going on. He got up quickly, pulling open the door and calling for Maggie.

Maggie took one look and sent over Dr Archer, ordering himaroudn while she paged Abrams.

Dr Archer took one look at the screens and declared, "She's overbreathing the vent."

He headed to the screen nearby, punching in some numbers or whatever he needed to do. Jay was more focused on you and how you were. He only looked up when Will came bounding into the room followed by Dr Abrams.

They conversed and decided on trialing taking you off the ventilator, knowing there would be a risk but ultimately it was worth it. Extubation went well, Dr Archer sutured the hastily cut crank and promised to check in later. Abrams had hovered as well, he mentioned something about a test but that he would have to transfer you to the neuro floor to run it.

Jay nodded along but understood little of what was being said. Will handled the doctor talk, just gently guiding Jay about what was happening once everyone had left the room.

Will stood at the end of the bed, "Doesn't this give you Deja Vu?"

Jay looked from your peaceful face and then to Will, "I can't do this again, Will. I can't."

Will nodded, he walked around the bed and pressed a hand to your forehead, smoothing back your hair from your face, "I won't let it."

When you finally came round your brothers had to use every ounce self control not to pull you into the tightest hug.

You smiled and gave a little finger wave, but were too exhausted to do much else. Jay pressed a kiss to your forehead, muttering about being relieved that you were okay. You let out a quiet reply but couldn't muster much of an answer.

Will did pull you into a gentle hug, holding you close but being careful not to squash you. He pulled away with a big grin, you could see the relief in his eyes.

Will relayed information to you about how Dr Abrams wanted to observe you overnight on the Neuro floor but that hopefully you would be able to. gohome soon after. You were much too exhausted to complain or argue, just nodding along and letting them transfer you upstairs.

Jay refused to leave your side, he stayed right beside you for as long as he could. You had gone back to sleep after being transferred and Jay hovered the whole time holding your hand or stroking your hair off your face.

Will came in at 5 am with coffees, dressed for his upcoming shift.

"How is she?" He asked, handing his brother the coffee.

Jay sighed, "Tired but okay I think."

Will nodded, taking a seat opposite Jay and looking over you, "She'll be okay."

Jay could only nod.

Your brothers watched you sleep for a few more moments before Dr Abrams came in and interrupted the peace.

"Dr Halstead," Dr Abrams started. It woke you up with a fright, the sudden noise clearing the drowsiness from your brain.

"Hey, hey," Will grabbed your hand and cradled your cheek with his other hand, "It's okay. Take it easy."

Will smiled as you relaxed again, sucking in a deep breath.

You let out a small yawn, "Sorry, i just... got..."

Will frowned as you paused in the middle of your sentence, staring off into space instead of looking at him like you were before.

"Y/N?" he said, trying to draw your attention back to him.

After a few seconds you blinked a few times, looking back at your brother and frowning, "What?"

Will looked startled, he looked from you to Dr Abrams, who looked just as surprised as Will.

Abrams came around the bed and stood at your side, "Y/N, can you tell me what just happened?"

You just looked at him with a frown.

Abrams gestured for Will to follow him out of the room, "I think what we just witnessed was an absence seizure."

Will scrubbed a hand down his face, "So what do we do?"

"We do an EEG, hope that it's a temporary symptom of the Anoxic Injury."

"But you don't think it's temporary do you," Will pressed. He worked with Abrams enough to know his bad news face.

"I don't," Abrams confirmed, "I've had patients who have TBI's have epileptic seizures."

Will couldn't form words, unable to even respond to Dr Abrams.

"Will," Jay stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him and crossing his arms sternly. "What's going on?"

#will halstead x reader #will halstead #jay halstead x reader #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead #halstead brothers #halstead!reader #halstead sister #jay halstead x sister!reader #will halstead x sister!reader #one chicago x reader #one chicago imagine #chicago med x reader #chicago med imagine #chicago med #chicago pd x reader #chicago pd imagine

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fiveredlights · 19 days

Text

there's glitter on the floor after the party: the deleted scenes

i'm sure it'll make someone happy because i think we all need it! just as a note, this is all unedited so some of it might make no sense and that's okay.

(i recommend the google doc for easier reading otherwise the whole thing is under the cut)

Chapter one: 2023

I don’t have anything to show…anything I did cut has already been long deleted. My bad. The first two are very sparse because I was cutting unwanted things as my Google docs was lagging whenever I opened it. The only thing I remember writing that chapter was that it was meant to coincide with Daniel’s return to COTA in real life but I ran out of time so I pushed it back to Las Vegas.

Chapter two: 2024

CUT: Daniel winning the championship

WHY: Felt too rushed and easy. No emotional pay off, you were only just introduced to Daniel in RBR again. Also don’t ask me what happened to Max for him to not just clean sweep 2023-2027. Also don’t ask who won the championship in 2026. I declare that your favourite driver won it and I definitely did not forget to give a championship.

DANIEL: Oh my god, it’s just surreal like I don’t know how to describe it. Especially after the past couple years, it’s just—yeah. And to do it with Max too, it’s just something special for me and the team.

MISCELLANEOUS:

73 Questions With Daniel Ricciardo | Vogue

3.3M views 2 days ago …more

Vogue 4M

[00:00:00]

DANIEL: Hello Vogue, didn’t see you there. Welcome to my home away from home.

[00:13:33]

PRODUCER: One sentence you could tell your younger self?

DANIEL: Doors are meant to be opened.

[00:15:09]

PRODUCER: Worst thing about racing in Formula 1?

DANIEL: Accidents, hands down. It’s horrifying as a driver to watch someone crash, because that’s when everything sort of gets a reality check in the cockpit. Like we are racing around at three-hundred kilometres an hour, and there is a real chance that something could go wrong. I’ll never forget Max’s Silverstone accident, just—yeah it just a horrible thing to witness.

—

emotionalsupportredbull

not daniel fidgeting with his necklace when he talks about max’s silverstone crash… you ain’t slick boy

#yes i have deluded myself into thinking it’s from max #i’m already depressed i don’t want to hear it #join team emotional support redbull delusions

348 notes

frenchpine

qu'est-ce que tu sais, espèce de salope française qui aime l'érable et qui parle bizarrement ? sors avec ça (What do you know you maple-loving weird speaking French bitch? Come out with it)

#je ne veux pas te traiter de salope #ou peut-être que c'est le cas (#i don’t mean to call you a bitch #or maybe i do)

392 notes

(i promise i wrote this before he decided to rear end daniel in china. i pinky promise.)

landando

daniel “doors are meant to be opened” ricciardo

#what is my man on #doors are meant to be opened 😭😭 #he didn’t open a door one time and it’s haunted him for life

78 notes

Chapter three: 2025

CUT: Red Bull marketing video

WHY: Chapter was already very long. Also I couldn’t find any good questions.

Daniel and Max play the F1 newlywed game 💒💍

827K views 10 hours ago #Gives you wings #F1 … more

Oracle Red Bull Racing 1.58M

INT. RED BULL RACING HOSPITALITY - DAY

[00:00:00]

MAX: Hello everyone and today we are playing the newlywed game.

DANIEL: Are you excited?

MAX: I mean I have to say yes otherwise I look like I’m in an unhappy marriage.

DANIEL: Wow—

MAX:—Also the name doesn’t even make sense. Newlywed? That isn’t us.

DANIEL: [To off screen] Guys, I would get someone to approve your overtime, we’re gonna be here a while.

[00:02:01]

OFF SCREEN: Who is more likely to overpack for a holiday?

DANIEL: Don’t look at me!

MAX: We have three suitcases.

DANIEL: It takes effort to look this good.

MAX: Three suitcases every single race weekend.

DANIEL: What’s the next question?

CUT: Lucinda’s vaguely threatening email

WHY: Broke the fourth wall. Glitter on the floor is meant to be solely a third POV view and I couldn’t justify it.

CONFIDENTIAL: PRESS STRATEGY REGARDING MAX VERSTAPPEN AND DANIEL RICCIARDO

From: lucindasalzar@/press.redbull.racing

To: maxverstappen@/redbull.racing, danielricciardo@/redbull.racing

CC: christianhorner@/redbull.racing, teamdaniel@/press.redbull.racing, teammax@/press.redbull.racing

Date: 21 Nov 2025 at 3:04am

Hi all,

Please see attachment below for finalised details regarding your press strategy and talking points this weekend. Media have been advised to not ask any questions about the ring and we’d like to keep it that way. Remember to keep it vague if you do get asked, and if you don’t feel comfortable a simple no comment will suffice.

Please email for any further clarification or questions and good luck this weekend. (And please no spur of the moment Las Vegas—Elvis impersonator weddings you two.)

Best regards,

Lucinda Salzar (she/her)

Head of Communications, Red Bull Racing.

E: lucindasalzar@/press.redbull.racing

P: +44 ** **** *****

CUT: The chaotic Abu Dhabi super seat swap

WHY: I had to cut this because I altered the timeline, Las Vegas was going to the second last race. In an earlier version Max and Daniel were gonna come back in 2026 and also drop the Matilda news at the same time but I wanted more content just out of Maxiel so I had to leave this on the cutting board. Some of it made it into the published fic but the original thing was more chaotic. (Also I changed the Red Bull junior driver at least once a week because they kept dropping them. It went from Hauger, to Crawford, to Maloney and then I just gave up because I could not keep up.)

lights-out-away-we-go

red bull needed to replace two drivers and they did in THE MOST CHAOTIC way possible. okay, just listen:

the official red bull reserve driver is liam lawson (of alpha tauri, so he obviously gets pulled up)

alpha tauri then call on zane maloney to replace liam (alpha tauri’s reserve driver)

BUT, daniel’s car still needs to fulfil the mandatory rookie free practice session (max’s was completed in mexico when maloney drove)

red bull can’t get zane in daniel’s car again cause he’s got to drive liam’s… so they’ve got to find someone who has the super licence points … we’ll come back to this

so right now car 3 is being driven by liam lawson, car 40 is driven by zane maloney. i hear you ask… who is driving car 1? it’s none other than yuki tsunoda (of alphatauri)

I KNOW, but red bull have quite literally run out of contracted reserve drivers and i believe because every driver is technically employed by red bull (whether they drive for RB or AT) they’re able to pull them up or down without the FIA kicking up a fuss

i’ll wait for why red bull pulled up both AT’s

this means yuki tsunoda’s alpha tauri will be without a driver and once again, red bull call Pepe Marti

#i don’t even know if this is 100% correct i could be so wrong

13,482 notes

—

SKY F1 SPORTS- 2025 ABU DHABI GRAND PRIX - FREE PRACTICE 1

David CROFT: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to our final race of the 2025 season, to our first free practice session under the blistering sun of Abu Dhabi and if this is your first time watching, welcome along cause this will certainly be an interesting race weekend. Now, eagle eyed viewers may have caught that AlphaTauri driver Yuki Tsunoda is in the Red Bull, and his team mate is sitting in the next garage over not in a car. Anthony Davidson is with me—Ant, care to explain to our viewers at home the driver seat swap chaos that’s happening down at Red Bull?

Anthony DAVIDSON: Hello everyone, wherever in the world you may be watching and yes, chaos is the right word for it isn’t it? I’ve got about five pieces of paper and I’m going to do my best to explain, what I think, is the most complicated driver situation in F1 history.

CROFT: Yes, for those who didn’t join us last time out or who may be new to F1, I promise driver seat talk usually isn’t this complicated but we’ll do our best to make sense of it all. Now we’ve got to start at the last race for it all to make sense. Red Bull driver Daniel Ricciardo had a nasty crash with Enzo Fittipaldi of Haas that left him with a concussion and bruised ribs, which is why presumably he isn’t racing today, and we wish him well in his recovery. Red Bull’s other driver Max Verstappen was also not able to race this weekend for an unspecified reason, so Red Bull are left with two empty seats.

DAVIDSON: We know that Red Bull’s official reserve driver is Liam Lawson, so that’s no problem there. He’s driving Daniel’s number 3 car, but here’s where the trouble starts. Car number 3 still needs to complete its mandatory FP1 session, which Zane Maloney was planning to do this session. But you’ll notice that Zane is in Liam’s car right now, the Alpha Tauri—and this is because he’s Alpha Tauri’s reserve driver.

CROFT: Still following everyone? So far, car number 3 is being driven by Liam Lawson, car number 40 is being driven by Zane Maloney. But Liam Lawson isn’t even in car number 3 at the moment, it’s Pepe Marti, who is currently racing in Formula 2 and part of Red Bull’s junior academy. He’s competing the mandatory rookie FP1 session for car number 3.

DAVIDSON: So now we move onto Max Verstappen’s car, which is being driven by the other AlphaTauri driver, Yuki Tsunoda. Which now means AlphaTauri needs a driver to replace him and it’s Red Bull junior driver, Isack Hadjar who is in car number 22.

CROFT: Right, so it’s Yuki Tsunoda and Liam Lawson in Red Bull for the race, Zane Maloney and Isack Hadjar in the AlphaTauri’s and Pepe Marti in Liam or Daniel’s Red Bull for FP1. Confused? Don’t worry, so are we so bare with us if we accidentally get names and teams wrong because I believe this is possibly the biggest driver change in F1 history.

DAVIDSON: Yes and because I know people will be asking, “Why didn’t Red Bull just put Maloney in Daniel’s car for the whole weekend?” and we have an answer and officially, it’s because of contracts. Whatever behind the scenes isn’t allowing him to drive that Red Bull which is why they called up Yuki instead. Maloney has also said he feels more confident driving the AlphaTauri all weekend rather than the Red Bull, so that also may play a factor in this.

CROFT: But also this is a perfect opportunity for Red Bull to compare both drivers, should the opportunity for one of them to make the move into Red Bull when the time arises.

Chapter four: 2026

CUT: Netflix Drive to Survive script

WHY: Once again, I was lazy and didn’t want to write a script. I kinda wish I did though, I think it would’ve given Las Vegas 2025 more substance, especially because you only see it through a fan perspective whereas DTS allows you to get the driver’s perspective, but I do plan to finish this off…. eventually….

Netflix- Drive to Survive

Season 9, Episode 3 “Redemption”

The Las Vegas Grand Prix is back in town but it’s not all good fortunes for those driving. The biggest paddock secret is unveiled.

—

INT. KITCHEN - MORNING

We see scrambled eggs on a frying pan.

OFF SCREEN: Daniel? Where is my jumper? The blue one?

The camera zooms out from the eggs to see Daniel, wearing a light blue jumper, grimacing at the camera.

DANIEL: (Under his breath) To be fair it was my jumper first.

The camera swings to Max in the doorway, arms crossed as he narrows his eyes at Daniel.

MAX: I heard that.

(In the garage, during the crash.)

RED BULL TEAM MEMBER #1: Has anyone told Max?

RED BULL TEAM MEMBER #2: We’re not telling him.

RED BULL TEAM MEMBER #3: Seriously?

RED BULL TEAM MEMBER #1: He thinks his husband is dead, we’re telling him!

INT. HOTEL ROOM

PRODUCER: Do you have some fears about allowing the world to know about your relationship?

DANIEL: God, of course I have. We both have. But we spent so long being—not scared, but worried let’s say about the consequences of us just being together. But then Las Vegas happened and all I wanted was Max to sit by my bedside and make a stupid joke about me being in hospital again. And it was when Christian literally had to fight multiple people to get Max into that hospital I realised that what we were doing was unsustainable.

PRODUCER: Unsustainable?

DANIEL: Are you married?

PRODUCER: Yes?

DANIEL: Have you ever watched your partner crash into something at three hundred kilometres an hour and no one telling you if they were even alive? Because I’ve done that. We’ve done that. Multiple times.

Montage of different Max & Daniel accidents.

DANIEL: And then you have to go on with your day, going to debrief, doing press but all you really want to do is go to them and make sure that they’re even alive?

PRODUCER: …

DANIEL: So yeah. Unsustainable.

—

333 update account @/official333

📺 | Drive to Survive (Netflix)

Daniel talking about his relationship with Max on and off the track:

Q: Do you think it’s been challenging to balance out the relationship given your unique relationship with Max?

Daniel: No, and I think people over dramatise the complexity of it all. I mean sure, it has been somewhat difficult, especially at the beginning but in the end it is just racing, you know? We’re both aware that we are something different from the other drivers, but I like that. Not many people get to do what they love with their partner right next to them, so I definitely take every race we do together for granted.

476 replies 88 reposts 8,372 likes

CUT: Alternate ‘M’ reveal

WHY: I genuinely spent like half an hour thinking if fictional Max and Daniel would show Matilda, I had earlier drafts where they hide her face until I was like okay, this is fictional. Bad things do not exist in this universe, so it’s fine. Plus, Matilda is so cute I can’t hide her.

[Video: Daniel, standing in front of a door.

DANIEL: I know a lot of you guys might have noticed that I’ve been dropping clues towards who this mysterious M is and it’s finally time to reveal who it is.

He opens the door and pans the camera to Max.

DANIEL: M stands for Max. Sorry to break the news, it’s not that exciting. Wait, who’s that?

The camera pans further down to show Max holding a baby, she’s sleeping soundly in Max’s arm.

Photo: A baby. She’s wearing a light blue onesie, and her hand is wrapped around a mini honey badger soft toy.]

Liked by lucsalzar and others

danielricciardo Everybody meet Matilda. Matilda, this is everybody.

View all 5,638 comments

georgerussell63 They learnt what hard launching is and said we’re going to do it for everything… Congrats 🙌

landonorris be prepared for the onslaught of driver themed onesies coming your way…

1 March

CUT: The half-completed TIME article about Daniel

WHY: I did not have it in me to write another 1000 word article. I spent around a week just writing Daniel’s The Players’ Tribune article. But what I did write, I did like. Was also around the time TIME named Taylor Swift as their person of the year, so that’s where I got that inspiration.

How 2025 was the year of the Honey Badger—Daniel Ricciardo on winning his first Formula 1 Championship during a historic year.

by Tylda Rune-Liberi for TIME

February 15, 2026 9:33AM EST

It’s 2017 and F1 driver Daniel Ricciardo was asked in a press conference what race he would like the new owners of F1 to host. His answer? Las Vegas. In 2023, five years on, his wish was granted. Two years later, in 2025, the race he had proclaimed as a dream race would turn into stuff of nightmares.

Leading the race and looking like he would take a first win at Las Vegas after a podium in 2023, it looked like everything was going Ricciardo’s way until a bizarre accident with Kick Stake Sauber’s Theo Pourchaire causes a major accident, leaving Ricciardo wedged in the cockpit for over half an hour.

Pourchaire had given way to Ricciardo as he was being lapped, before attempting to unlap himself, choosing the wrong moment as Ricciardo was heading into the pitlane. Radios released after the accident have Pourchaire admit he “didn’t think he was going into the pit lane.”

It’s a horrifying crash to watch—even with the knowledge that both drivers would be okay, and it would soon be clear that no one felt it more in the pitlane than Ricciardo’s own teammate: Max Verstappen.

Formula 1 drivers all drive with the knowledge that a crash could happen at any given moment, but this accident was different.

[Photo: Daniel, in a dark navy denim blue overshirt and jeans.]

Ricciardo and Verstappen have had a long and varied partnership throughout their career, first starting in 2016 where Verstappen was brought up mid season from then-Red Bull junior team Toro Rosso (now Visa Cash App RB), winning his debut race with the team, where it looked like the win would go to Ricciardo instead. They would go on to be teammates for another two seasons, before Ricciardo announced a shocking move to Renault (now Alpine).

One thing that stood out about their initial partnership was how their off track friendship never seemed to waver, even in their most turbulent of times (see Hungary 2017 or Azerbaijan 2018). In an era where friendships between teammates seemed to famously end in failure, in the likes of fan dubbed ‘Brocedes’ (Nico Rosberg & Lewis Hamilton; best friends growing up who’s friendship ended in rivalry fighting for a championship) or former Red Bull teammates Sebastian Vettel and Mark Webber (Multi-21 Seb?), it was an outlier that the two remained such good friends, even after Ricciardo had departed Red Bull.

Even Ricciardo mentions that Lewis Hamilton had gone up to him to ask how Verstappen and Ricciardo had managed to keep their friendship going even though they had tussles on track. “I don’t really know,” Ricciardo says. “I mean it’s definitely all in hindsight now, but I think it was because we—or at least I—knew that our friendship was really important. Like it was no matter what happens I don’t go and screw up this friendship I have with Max.”

Ricciardo would go through a bumpy time in his post-Red Bull career, going through two seasons at Renault, two seasons at McLaren before a 6 month break where he was named ‘Third Driver’ for Red Bull, a 6 month stint in Red Bull sister team AlphaTauri (formerly Toro Rosso, now Visa Cash App RB) which was marked with Ricciardo missing 5 races due to a hand injury during a free practice session in Zandvoort before returning back to the very seat he left six years earlier, Red Bull announcing Ricciardo’s return at the 2023 Las Vegas race.

A move that was then deemed as a surprise move by many pundits, all was put to rest when Riccardo finessed his AlphaTauri in the podium position, grabbing the team 3rd place and their first podium since Pierre Gasly in 2021.

Something was different about this second stint, and it wasn’t the journeys they’ve both gone on since they both parted ways. There was something different about them together.

[Photo: Max and Daniel laughing in the Red Bull garage.]

Nine years on since their first race together, it was oddly reminiscent of their first. Verstappen crossed the line to win a race his teammate had been poised to do so. Only this time, the celebrations were much different.

With Ricciardo in hospital, Verstappen quickly left the race track after a tuned down podium ceremony, skipping out on mandatory post-race media duties, where competitors and team can attract fines for doing so. (The FIA opted not to fine Verstappen and Red Bull in this instance.)

Even during the red flag it was clearly Verstappen was antsy, with his radio calls after finding out his teammate was in an accident conveying his state of worry. Leaked video from inside the Red Bull garage has Verstappen mention not finishing the race, wanting to be by Ricciardo’s side instead.

///

“I remember I posted the post and people were like ‘Oh, maybe he meant it in a friendly way’ and I was like f***, I’ve got to actually spell it out for them.” Hence, the iconic post that broke the F1 world was born.

[Daniel’s tweet.]

It’s 2020, and the Australian Grand Prix has just been cancelled due to COVID.

All the drivers and teams are left scrambling to try and leave the country before the borders close, and Daniel Ricciardo has just invited Max Verstappen to stay over at his house in Perth.

“I don’t think I can even call it a friendly gesture, because as much as I like the other guys on the grid, there’s no way I would’ve invited them over.”

///

“Yeah, I won a championship. But I’m still the same person.”

Ricciardo’s often been somewhat of an open book, he says—whether it was for the better or for the worse. Every aspect of his life has been so highly publicised, from winning races to what it looks like when he’s not, it’s remarkable how he still holds nearly the same candour, even if his name and career has seemingly been dragged through the mud a thousand times over by the media.

Last year he publicly came out in a F1-related podcast, to what he says was very unplanned. “I didn’t plan to come out, let’s say, it just kind of happened.

“I didn’t even plan to come out, let's say, it just kind of happened? I was recording a podcast and I was talking about 2022 and how it unfolded, the support systems around me and I said “my partner”, and a part of me went Oh, shit! I hadn’t talked about my relationships at length before that, and I knew people were going to absolutely run with it and then I was like—well, might as well just go the whole nine yards, so then the second reference to my partner I very deliberately dropped in he. And that was it.”

“I remember so vividly, I went home that night and I told Max, oh I think I did something stupid and his mind immediately went to me accidentally leaking like team secrets or something big like that, and I was like no, I may have accidentally came out and within like three seconds you could see is brain just switch.

“There is no we found the elephant in the room or whatever. The elephant has always been in the room and it’s just decided to make its presence known.”

“Look, I definitely understand some of the criticism that some people may have with F1 or Red Bull or us capitalising on our relationship or whatever, but I think now more than ever there’s a need to perhaps know who the drivers are when they aren’t driving.” Ricciardo adds.

“Because it’s all fine and good if John Smith is winning races and driving amazingly, but if you know next to nothing about the person because it seems like they’re packed up and shipped race to race, you’re not going to root for the guy because they’ve made no connection.”

Ricciardo quickly clarifies that it’s not a negative for sports people or celebrities to maintain their personal lives, but he sees it more as a way to express or show what he wants to show in his own lives. “We spent nearly five years it near complete secrecy from the outside world and whilst I’m not saying that we should’ve just been public right from the start—we probably wouldn’t have survived—I was just wanting to post a photo of Max burning dinner or something and not have gossip magazines or Instagram accounts dissect every pixel of it.”

Did Ricciardo get pushback from the FIA or his team? It’s a difficult question to answer, he tells me. NDAs and whatnot. He says, “The team was wonderful about it, though. Had multiple team members come up to us willingly to fight the higher powers if needed which was very sweet.”

“Let’s just say there were conversations that I had been made aware of that had made me feel like we weren’t even allowed to look at each other when we were in the paddock. I felt like they were asking me to only refer to him as my teammate, stuff along those lines.”

///

“One of our friends told us at our wedding something along the lines of for F1 drivers, you did move pretty fucking slow in your relationship! And Max was like yeah, did you know who we were in 2018?” Ricciardo laughs loudly, scaring one of the cats who seemed ready to take a nap.

///

“I used to rely so much on what other people thought of me, it wasn’t enough that I thought I was the best guy out there, you also had to think I was the best guy out there.”

///

Racing has always been part of Ricciardo’s life, but he doesn’t want it to be the only thing now in his life. He wants you to ask about things not related to racing, like how much he loves his family or how he thinks the Buffalo Bills are the greatest NFL team on earth.

“I’m not going to do this forever, you know?” He says, finishing the can of Red Bull he’d been slowly sipping throughout the course of this piece. “I hope when I look back at these years of my life I’m going to be equally proud of what I did in the car and what I did outside of it.” — With reporting done by Tylda Rune-Liberi and Nicolas St. Revelate.

CUT: Max and the team getting called up to the FIA

WHY: The FIA seems like an organisation who might send me a cease and desist if I wrote them as quietly homophobic. I don’t have money for a lawsuit. Also wanted to keep the universe happy because the real one is not. Still think my Mad Mex reference is funny.

Autosport @/autosport

Breaking: Max Verstappen summoned to the stewards after allegedly breaking parc ferme rules.

12 replies 90 reposts 821 likes

—

F1 - 2026 AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX - POST RACE PRESS CONFERENCE - TRANSCRIPT

23.3.26

Q: Sorry, Daniel just coming back to you now. We’ve just received word that Max Verstappen has just been summoned to the stewards for breaking parc fermé conditions, any reaction on that?

Daniel RICCIARDO: For what?

Q: Uh, we think it might be related to post race procedures around weighing. Not entirely sure yet, his meeting is at 6:15pm.

DR: Well there goes our dinner plans. To be fair our dinner plans were literally just Mad Mex in our hotel rooms before flying to Perth, but still.

Jack DOOHAN: Mad what?

DR: Mad Mex? You know, the Mexican fast food place. Surely you’ve had it.

JD: Oh, I thought you said Mad Max and I was like, “He finished P4 that doesn’t seem too bad.”

DR: Did Max not do the weigh in or what?

Q: He did, after your podium. Sorry mate, even more bad news for the team, they’ve been summoned to the stewards as well.

DR: If I find out I’m going to lose another podium about ten years on after the race here I’m gonna be pissed.

Q: This one is related to Article 26.13 b, where “Unless authorised by the FIA, no one under the age of 16 is permitted in the pit lane at the following times: b) The period commencing fifteen (15) minutes before the pit exit is opened to allow cars to cover reconnaissance laps and the time when the last car enters the parc fermé after the sprint session or the race has ended.”

DR: What cause we had our daughter with us at the podium celebration?

Q: Quite possibly, yeah.

DR: That’s interesting. I—yeah, I’m just gonna say that’s interesting.

Oscar PIASTRI: Kevin had his kids with him in Monza twenty four, didn’t he?

DR: Yeah, I’m sure the team will have a lot to say so we’ll just leave it at that.

CUT: Reaction to Australia winning

WHY: Timeline changes. Original timeline was Australia 2026 being their first race back after Las Vegas and relationship/kid reveal. I apparently also cut the all Australian podium. Can't remember why.

[Photo 1:

Photo 2:

Photo 3:

Photo 4: Lucinda holding the constructor trophy on the podium, Daniel giving a big grin next to her.]

Liked by jackdoohan and others

danielricciardo Never thought I’d be able to share a podium with two other Aussies but what better time than at our home race. @/jackdoohan @/oscarpiastri @/redbullracing 🇦🇺❤️

View all 5,382 comments

ausgp Surely this gets us a public holiday?! @/auspm

oscarpiastri We’re about to get even more annoying…

—

Oracle Red Bull Racing @/redbullracing

Don’t mind us, we’re just in a puddle of tears over how cute @/Max33Verstappen and @/danielricciardo are 😍😭🫶

[Video: Taken from behind the parc ferme barriers, Daniel holding Matilda as Max hugs him, one hand around his waist and the other around the back of his neck.]

—

jeanie 🤠 @/COTADANIEL

flabbergasted about how well max and daniel hid their relationship from the world because man that he looks at daniel like he hung the moon stars and the sun and we’ve just been blind to notice

jake @/381racers

Maxiel admin logged on today thank you universe 🙏

—

DANIEL: Yeah, I just didn’t think I was able to have this, you know? If you had told me like seven years ago that hey, “You’ll be winning again and Max and your kid will be right along with you”, I would’ve laughed in your face. There is still absolutely more work to do, but I’m just glad I get to have my little moment without like some of these outside factors screaming and kicking at us.

CUT: Jake @/381racers meeting Daniel

WHY: Felt too indulgent. Loved it, but I think the idea pushed the boundaries/fourth wall maybe A Little too much, even for my low standards.

jake @/381racers

Only felt right that I get this signed

[Photo: Jake’s infamous tweet “Max Verstappen can you fight?” printed out and framed. Max has signed it and wrote “Yes he can.”]

—

jake @/381racers

First photo really Daniel did you have to shame me further . I thought we had a promise. Anyways, here's the video of me meeting them.

[Video: Jake meeting Daniel, in Red Bull hospitality. They’re both sitting down in chairs, and Jake has his hands on top of a frame placed face down on the table.

JAKE: Do you remember like two years ago in COTA you wore a leather jacket outfit and basically the internet blew up because of how good you looked?

DANIEL: Yeah, with the cowboy hat and everything!

JAKE: And there was a tweet that trended on that weekend—

Daniel sits up in his chair, eyes widening in realisation of who Jake is.

DANIEL: Oh my god you’re “Max Verstappen can you fight?” guy?!

JAKE: Embarrassingly, yes.

DANIEL: (offscreen) How did you find him?!

OFFSCREEN: Remember when I said I was going to bring my boyfriend this race?

Daniel looks back and forth behind the person offscreen and Jake multiple times before bending over and laughing hysterically.

OFFSCREEN: Yeah, I’m not happy about it either.

DANIEL: Oh my god did I like cause you two to meet?

jake @/381racers

No I too am not happy about my internet history coming back to bite me

CUT: Interview with Lawrence Baretto

WHY: I ran out of time. I had planned to post this at the end of Jan, but since I didn’t post that NYD bonus fic, I didn’t wanna go a month without an update so this got culled. Also my vague illusions to Max’s dad felt a little weird.

Exclusive: Daniel Ricciardo on retirement, 15 years of F1 and family with Lawerence Barretto

When I ask about his daughter and if they have any interest in making her follow in her parents footsteps, he shuts down my line of questioning pretty quickly.

“No,” he immediately says. “I’m not going to write out a path for her to follow, or put expectations for her to go into karting because of a family legacy. I think Max knows it a little bit more than me, how the expectations of someone who’s meant to take care of you can tarnish the thing you love.”

Jos Verstappen, Max’s father and former F1 driver hasn’t been seen in the paddock since 2023. Both declined to comment when asked.

“If she wants to start karting, then we’ll probably have a very long conversation about how it’s important that she finds it fun and if she doesn’t then she doesn’t. It’s not important to me that she wins or whatever, I just want her to enjoy it.”

Chapter five: 2027

CUT: Drive to Survive script

WHY: I did not have the energy to write a full script, and I felt like there were too many events to write about and I could not do it justice. Also I would like idk if Max and Daniel would show Matilda on DTS which is crazy because Matilda is not real…

—

Drive to Survive

Season 10 Episode 10 “One final rodeo…”

After fifteen years in the sport, Formula 1 says goodbye to Daniel Ricciardo.

[00:20:26]

INT. HOTEL ROOM INTERVIEW

PRODUCER: We don’t have to talk about Las Vegas.

DANIEL: No, it's fine. Probably should. Uh—yeah.

PRODUCER: We can take a minute.

DANIEL: Yeah, thanks. I didn’t talk about it last year did I?

PRODUCER: No. Okay, we’ll cut.

CUT TO BLACK.

Sound of car crashing into wall, before it fades in to show the Red Bull in the pitlane wall. Cuts to people reacting—Red Bull employees, fans in the grandstands and then a birds eye aerial view of the crash, showing the medical and extraction crew.

PIERRE HAMLIN (V.O): Daniel, are you okay?

Cuts to Max’s T-CAM footage, him driving past the car.

MAX (V.O): What the fuck happened?

PIERRE: Daniel, please just press the radio button so we know you’re okay.

Cuts to Daniel’s T-CAM footage, his helmet leans against the left side of the halo, indicating he’s unmoving.

PIERRE: Daniel, can you hear me?

Cuts to showing the Red Bull pitwall, everyone looking at each other worried.

DANIEL (V.O): The first thought I had was: Shit. This is really bad timing. Second thought I had was: Max is going to kill me.

Cuts to Daniel's forward facing cockpit onboard, him moving his head and looking up and down the cockpit.

PIERRE: Daniel?

DANIEL: Yep. Fuck. My chest, fuck. Shit, is um the other driver okay?

PIERRE: Yes, he's okay but don't worry about him. Do you think you can get out of the car?

DANIEL: Yeah no, I don't think that's happening with breaking something. Fuck, my ribs. Oh god. I think something's broken.

PIERRE: Okay Daniel, the medical team are nearly there but do not move if you think it will cause more damage. The car is safe, so do not worry about anything else.

DANIEL: Yep, okay. Um, will someone tell Max I'm okay? Just, don't freak him out yeah?

PIERRE: Copy Daniel, it will be okay, it will be okay. Just keep radio on please.

DANIEL: Okay. Fuck, this sucks.

INT. STUDIO

TEXT: Max Verstappen, Red Bull Racing driver

MAX VERSTAPPEN: Been a while.

PRODUCER: Didn’t think you were going to agree.

MAX VERSTAPPEN: Would be a big thing if you made it look like we hated each other again!

PRODUCER: We asked Daniel what his first thought was when he had that accident. He said “This is really bad timing” and that you were going to kill him. Why?

MAX: Well, because of Matilda.

EXT. PORT HERCULES, MONACO— MORNING

Long shot of Port Hercules, Monaco, filmed from a balcony. It’s peaceful, quiet—the city sounds filling the background before we hear a baby scream in joy.

DANIEL: Matilda!

Matilda is on the floor in the living room, on a playmat and she plays with wooden blocks. Max is next to her on the ground, with his back leant against the couch, Daniel is on the couch.

DANIEL (V.O): Yeah, she’s one of the best things to happen to me. For a long time my whole life was just racing, but now she’s my whole life. Like it’s okay if I have a bad race or whatever, I’ve got to move on quickly because she’s there at home waiting.

MAX: Having a kid does change you, I think. Daniel will not say his driving has changed, but it has.

PRODUCER: In what way?

MAX: I think now he is more focused on winning every race, not that he wasn’t before. But because maybe he knows that every race matters more now. You hope that the others around you will not be too reckless so that you can go home after the race.

EXT. CIRCUIT OF THE AMERICAS — MIDDAY

TEXT ON SCREEN: 2025 UNITED STATES GRAND PRIX

RED BULL EMPLOYEE #1: Hey, welcome back Danny!

DANIEL: Thank you, thank you. Hope you didn’t miss my handsome face too much.

RED BULL EMPLOYEE #1: I didn’t know Jake went on holiday!

DANIEL: I’m gonna crash the car just for that.

RED BULL EMPLOYEE #2: No, we’re just kidding. So how’s the baby?

DANIEL: She’s great, do you wanna see a photo?

RED BULL EMPLOYEE #1: Oh, she’s adorable. Matilda was her name?

DANIEL: Yeah, yeah. We had a list but I think Matilda was the only one that stood out to us. She just looks like a Matilda you know?

///

The camera swings to the right, as Daniel’s head sticks out from the door.

DANIEL RICCIARDO: You aren’t talking shit about me, Maxy?

MAX VERSTAPPEN: Of course I am.

///

MAX: I have raced with Daniel in every single year of F1. I think it will be weird.

DANIEL RICCIARDO I think I was a pretty good darn car mechanic.

CUT: Max’s interview with GQ

WHY: If you haven’t learnt by now, I am very lazy. Honestly, I just wanted this chapter out and I knew I didn’t have the time to write a whole article. Also I don’t think Max would be this open about this relationship but maybe Daniel made him more open in this universe. I still stand by the first sentence, it is possibly the truest thing to come out of the fic.

You can’t talk about Max Verstappen without eventually talking about Daniel Ricciardo, and you can’t talk about Daniel Ricciardo without eventually talking about Max Verstappen. This was a true statement in the earlier part of Verstappen’s career, but now perhaps even more so. “He’s made me a much better person,” Verstappen comments when I ask him about his husband. “I maybe wasn’t the best person to be teammates with when I was first in Formula 1, but he stayed friends with me. Even after he left and I was not being nice to him, he still stayed. That was very important to me.”

There’s a certain aura of happiness that comes from Verstappen when he starts talking about Ricciardo, and he says it’s probably one of the most documented love stories of F1.

It started in the early morning after the final race of the 2018 season, and a drunk voicemail to Ricciardo kicked things off. “I was still mad that he was going, and I had too many gin and tonics and I called him at like 12 am or something. Obviously he didn’t answer because he was sleeping but I said really embarrassing stuff in that voicemail.” He left one more a couple hours later, asking Ricciardo not to mention it.

“He really took that to heart.” Verstappen laughs. “I don’t really know why, we would talk when we saw each other on race weekends and pretend that everything was fine between us.”

They were seemingly friends only when it was the race weekend, but off track they had never been further apart. There was a lot of resentment and unsaid conversation from Verstappen’s side, self proclaiming that his stubbornness had put a pin in their relationship. “It’s easy to say now looking back, but I thought Daniel leaving Red Bull was also leaving me. And I didn’t take it well.”

But a little bit of push and shove from his fellow friends made him realise that having Ricciardo in his life was more important than whatever feelings he had towards him leaving.

///

Verstappen proposed two years later in December 2022 at that same house. “Coordinates of the house and everything on the ring,” Ricciardo comments when he drops in to grab something from the office. “Cried like a baby when I realised.”

Deleted Epilogue:

WHY: I still can’t decide if Matilda would go down the F1 path. If she did, she is definitely a Ferrari driver. Just to mess with her dads. I think she would sign with Red Bull in the junior seasons, maybe do two seasons with Red Bull then switch to Ferrari. A Sebastian Vettel if you will…let’s hope it turns out better for her than him.

[Photo 1: A Ferrari car crossing the chequered flag.

Photo 2: Matilda on the third step of the podium, holding the trophy in the air, the Australian flag wrapped around her shoulders.]

Photo 3: Matilda hugging her parents in parc ferme.]

Liked by danielricciardo and others

mvr one home race down 🇦🇺, one more to go 🇳🇱 😉

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scuderiaferrari 👏🎉

23 March

—

SKY SPORTS: 2048 AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX

David CROFT: And Matilda Verstappen-Ricciardo absolutely sends it down the inside and makes it stick, and what a move! Gosh, I was not expecting her to pull it off but she absolutely does and gets a roar of a cheer from the home crowd, Verstappen-Ricciardo is currently in P3.

Jenson BUTTON: I mean, we should not be surprised. Daughter of Max Verstappen, a six time World Champion and Daniel Ricciardo, another World Champion. A lot of racing talent in that family, I thought the last of the late breakers was Daniel but she has really put a new meaning on late!

DC: And speaking of there is Max and Daniel Verstappen-Ricciardo, who I imagine are probably the most nervous parents in the paddock right now! A lovely nod and clap of encouragement as we watch the reaction of Matilda’s overtake for P3.

—

matilda verstappen-ricciardo @/MVR

if you’re wondering if it’s embarrassing to have your parents show up at work to congratulate you just wait till one of them interviews you in front of the tv…. thanks dad i’ve never felt so uncool before

138 replies 98 reposts 20,482 likes

—

POST RACE: PARC FERME INTERVIEW

Daniel RICCIARDO: Matilda!

Matilda VERSTAPPEN-RICCIARDO: Oh my god, please be cool about this.

DR: Just wait till I convince F1 to let me and Max double host it.

MVR: This is actually my worst nightmare. Like maybe three other people will understand what I’m feeling right now.

DR:

///

MVR: I mean I’m not worried about a legacy, if people think I’m here to start or continue a legacy then they can think that, but I’m here to race. Not carry on whatever my parents did.

#maxiel #glitter on the floor #candle wax and polaroids verse

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enby-ralsei · 2 months

Text

Arthur Timeline Analysis

This is a big analysis of the events in Arthur's life, based on what we know as far as episode 9.

If you just want the timeline here it is. However, I go through my methodology below the cut, so stick around for that if you would like!

Year campaign takes place: 2023

Year of birth: 1887

Year of Embrace: 1912

Year of immigration: 1918

Arthur's current age: 136

Arthur's visual age: 25

Quick warning for suicide a bit further down.

Facts we know:

Arthur is a little younger than 140

He left England in 1918, specifically right after World War 1 ended

He had younger twin siblings (that were smaller than adult size, yes this is important)

So, with this information I made a few assumptions. We are placing the timeline such that it is 2023 (year of recording) when this campaign is taking place. There are jokes in the episode about it taking place in 2012, but that makes the ages not line up well, especially with World War 1.

Another assumption: We are taking Arthur's true age to be 136. It is the lowest estimate for "a little younger than 140" I am comfortable with making.

And thus begins the timeline shenanigans.

Arthur was born in 1887, which makes him 136 in 2023.

His siblings would have to be under the age of about 11 to be smaller than their full grown, adult sizes. If Arthur were to be turned in 1918, he would have been 31. 20+ years difference is much quite a large gap between siblings, so he must have turned before 1918.

However, it was said that he left soon after being turned. But what is important to mention is that Arthur is within the age range to enlist in the British Army.

This seems out of character, but it really wouldn't be. He would have very recently killed his whole family. He wants to die. Being killed in a war is seen much more favorably than trying to kill himself. He already knows that trying to burn himself in the sun will just lead to Frenzy that will eventually get him out of harm's way.

So he joined the British military in 1914. He could have been turned right before enlisting and be 27 at the time of his Embrace, but that also seems unlikely.

Arthur wouldn't want to leave the country without checking for Anya everywhere he can. So he looked for her in all of England, while avoiding London as much as he possibly could. After the graves were dug, he didn't return until over a century later.

I say that two years is enough time to look for her in England, meaning the year he was turned was 1912. He would be 25.

This makes sense for his siblings ages as well. They could be 11 years old and only have a 14 year age gap. This is still somewhat large, but much more reasonable than 20. I know many people with this large of an age gap between siblings. A friend of mine has an age gap of 15 years and my mom has one of 16 (both with no siblings being born in between).

At 25, Arthur could still reasonably be living at home. He could be learning the Vampire Hunting trade from his father as an apprentice. His siblings would be young enough to have a small grave.

RECAP:

Arthur is currently 136. He was turned into a vampire before WW1 in 1912 and searched Great Britain for Anya for 2 years before volunteering for the British army, where he stayed for 4 years. Once the war ended in 1918, he left for the United States as soon as he could.

#jrwi spoilers #jrwi #the suckening #suckening spoilers #arthur bennett #jrwi analysis #pinned

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mamaestapa · 1 year

Text

So There’s This Party…

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: •Y/n Hubbard, the younger sister of Cincinnati Bengals Defensive End Sam Hubbard, finds herself in a difficult situation after a steamy hookup with her brothers best friend, who just so happens to be the quarterback for the Bengals. In just nine months their lives will be changed forever. How will Y/n and Joe manage to to go through parenthood together? more so, how will Sam take the news he is going to be the uncle of his best friends baby?

•chapter summary: Your brother Sam stops by your apartment to invite you to Zac Taylor’s annual Christmas party, will you accept his invitation?

• word count: 1.9k

•warnings: language, mentions of alcohol and sex

series masterlist

——————————————————

December 15, 2022

pre-hookup

Knock...knock

You let out a sigh of annoyance and put down your current reading selection: 50 Shades of Grey. You stood up from your spot on the couch and made your way over to the door of your apartment. Another knock rang out through your living room.

"Oh my,” you mumbled under your breath, “I’m coming! Just wait.." You yelled out as you got to the door and unlocked the deadbolt.

You were greeted by the face of your brother who had his hand up, getting ready to knock on your front door again. Before he could knock again and fall in through the door, he noticed you had opened the door, so he stopped himself.

He smiled, "Hey little sis."

“Hey Sammy, what's up?"

"Can I come in?” he peered over your shoulder and looked into the apartment, “or are you too busy?"

You shook your head. You moved to the side, out of the way of the entrance to your home, making a gesture for him to come in.

"Nope,” you sighed, “Just-."

Sam walked into your apartment, making his way over to the recliner in your living room and plopping his large frame down on the cushion.

You laughed in disbelief, “Make yourself at home why don't you?"

He chuckled, "Sorry, mom.”

You rolled your eyes and sat back down on your previous spot on the couch, tucking your legs up on the cushion as you sat down.

"So what are you doing here?" you inquired, curious to see why your brother came by out of the blue. It’s not that he's not welcome at your place anytime, he just usually let's you know ahead of time when he’s coming over. This time he came unannounced, which you thought was a little odd.

"Just wanted to come by and see my favorite little sister." he smiled coyly.

You shook your head as you said, "Uh huh…because that's a legitimate reason for you to come see me."

Sam threw his hands up in defense, "What?! Last time I checked, it is!"

You rolled your eyes once again, "Sam, the only time you come over here without letting me know ahead of time, which might I add, would've been nice to know, I don’t know about 10 minutes ago?! Is whenever you need something...important."

Sam bit his lip, hesitant to ask his important question. He let our a sigh of defeat as you gave him with a pointed look. “Alright, fine, you got me." he paused, "But why couldn't I just show up unannounced? I mean shit, you do it to me all the time."

You slightly blushed as he called you out. You hated getting called out by your siblings, especially when it came from Sam.

"Because,” you said, crossing your arms, “I was in the middle of reading a very important book, thank you."

Sam sat up from the recliner and peered over the coffee table to see the book that sat there. His face quickly turned into a look of amusement as he recognized the title. “Oh fuck, were you reading Fifty Shades of Grey?! Wait ‘till I tell mom and dad." He joked.

You laughed as you leaned forward and snatched the book off the table. “Oh my god Sam, shut up. It’s not like we're in highschool anymore."

Sam chuckled and put his hands behind his head. He leaned back against the recliner as he said, “True, but sometimes you still act like it, Miss. ‘I see red’."

You huffed out a sigh, crossing your arms in front of once again. “Sam, I swear, you will never grow up."

Sam raised his eyebrows, "Oh yeah? Well neither will you."

You giggled. He did have a point. “Touché."

Sam is your older brother. He’s 26 years old and you’re 24. You’d think by now he'd be more mature than he is, but you hate to say it, he’s not. Sam still has the mentality of a high school boy. Which, you figure isn't so bad, it does keep the Hubbard family entertaining. However, his maturity has gotten much better since he's became apart of the NFL and married his college sweetheart. But there's times he still takes on that mentality of a senior boy. Even though he can be immature, you still love him.

You looked up at Sam, raising your eyebrows, "But seriously Sam, what did you need?"

He sighed, "Well...you can totally say no."

You raised an eyebrow, confused as to what he was referring to. "Okay…?”

"So there's this party..." he began, "and coach wants us all to bring a "plus one". I refuse to bring Emma since she’s pregnant, and I couldn't think of anyone else to bring, so I told him I’d bring you."

You held your hand up to stop him, "Wait, so you're saying I wasn't even invited?! I work for your team!"

Your brother is Sam Hubbard. THE Sam Hubbard (obviously, if you haven't figured that out already). Defensive End for the Cincinnati Bengals. Sam has been with the Bengals since 2018, and you have been with them since last season working as their social media manager. Being a social media manager for any sort of professional sports team has been your dream job since you were a little girl. So of course when you were offered the job here with the Bengals, you had to take it. Your job consists of taking many photos and videos of the guys while they are out working hard on and off the field. You post updates about game scores, charity events, schedules, etc. All content you get, you upload to various forms of social media. You also get control of the teams twitter and instagram accounts, which you honestly think is the best part of the job. Sending out tweets, and making a fans day is what you do best.

"Zac said he just wanted it to be a fun night with the guys. No other work personnel were going to be invited,” Sam explained, “so don’t take it personal.”

"But I’m work perso-."

Sam held up his hand, "Coach likes you Y/n. He doesn't mind at all that I’m bringing you."

You laughed sarcastically, "HA! what makes you think I’m going?"

Sam rolled his eyes, sighing. "C’mon Y/n, please? It’ll be good for you to get out and do something fun with the guys and I.”

"Oh yeah? Like I don't already do that."

Yeah…you usually don't.

Sam rubbed his hands down his face, "look. Y/n/n," he began, “your friends all live in different states except for Emma, right?"

You nodded. It’s true, all of your close friends live in other states, far from from Ohio. You’re lucky to see the girls at least twice a year. Whether it's from a much needed vacation, or from your teams playing eachother on the field. You miss them very much, as it has been a while since you’ve seen them, but you try your best to chat with eachother almost everyday. However, my other best friend, Emma, lives here in Cincinnati. Emma is married to my brother. The two have been together since their college days at Ohio State. Emma recently found out that her and Sam are expecting Baby Hubbard in 2023, so the two of you haven't been able to go out on your usual weekend girls nights where you waste away in margaritaville. You do miss those a lot, but on the bright side, you live fairly close to her and Sam, so you and Emma see eachother often, which you are very thankful for.

"See,” he said with a smile, “you need to unwind and have a good time. Spending time at Zac’s with some of the guys and I at this party will be good for you."

You smiled slightly. Sam’s right, you could use a good party.

"Fine, I’ll go."

Sam smiled widely, "That’s great! You won't be disappointed, I promise. This will be one of the best parties you've ever been to, guarantee it. Zac throws the best Christmas parties."

You chuckled at his enthusiasm, "Good to know. Besides, I could use a good party right now. Margs, wine, tequila shots...OH!” your eyes lit up as you thought about that red dress you bought weeks ago that perfectly showed off your cleavage, “I can wear that red dress I’ve always wanted to wear...maybe one of your teammates will like it.” you teased, winking at your brother.

Sam got up from the recliner "Y/n, no. My teammates will not like it. Because if they do, I know there will be hopes for hookups." he said, emphasizing the "know", "and there will be absolutely no hooking up with my teammates at that party, okay?"

Sam has always been super protective over you, especially when it came to guys.

"Damn it, that was going to be the highlight of my night." You smirked. Sam just looked at you with a resting bitch face.

You let out a laugh of amusement and walked over to Sam, punching his rock hard arm, "I was only joking Sammy. I won't hook up with any of your teammates."

He looked down at you, "You promise?"

You rolled your eyes, sighing, "Yes, father."

Sam gave you an eye roll and ruffled your hair, "Shut up."

"Hey !" you screeched, moving your hands up to fix your hair. "I worked hard on that today."

Sam just chuckled, “Well, I’m gonna head out. Thanks for letting me stop by." he said, walking over to the door.

You followed him, “Oh yeah, it's no problem. I didn't really have a choice. You know, with you showing up unannounced and all.”

Sam rolled his eyes and pulled you into a quick hug.

"Whatever Y/n/n."

You let go of Sam as he spoke up. "Oh! Before I forget. Party is at six P.M. Saturday night. I’ll pick you up around five, so be ready before I get here."

You saluted, "Will do. And Sam?"

"Yes?" he asked, getting ready to leave.

"Make sure you don't show up unannounced Saturday. I’m getting to a really sexy scene in fifty shades, and I don't want you to-."

Sam’s face flushed a deep shade of red, "Okay,” he cleared his throat, “well I’’m gonna go now."

You laughed as he left your apartment, still flustered from your joke. “Bye Sam! See you saturday!" You yelled as he walked down the hall.

"Saturday, five o'clock, DONT be late!" he yelled back over his shoulder.

"Mmhm,” you muse, “I should be saying that to you!"

You could hear him just chuckle as he disappeared down the hall. Smiling to yourself, you closed your apartment door and locked the deadbolt. You walked back over to your couch and sat down. As you sat comfortably on the couch, you started thinking about the mess you just got yourself in.

Usually you opted out of the parties Zac or any member of the team threw, only because you didn't want to be the only woman in a room full of drunk, horny men—minus your brother and Coach Taylor of course. However, this party would be different. Players were able to bring a plus one, so hopefully that means you won't be the only girl at the party. Oh well, even if you are the only woman there, it's not like anything is going to happen? You’re hopeful all the guys will stay professional.

You decided not to worry about it and head to bed. As soon as your head hit the silk pink pillow, you were out like a light. All of your thoughts of what to expect Saturday night had escaped your mind, leaving you to sleep peacefully.

hey loves!

so this chapter was kinda bad lol

BUT it will get SO much better, i promise!! the first couple chapters of my stories are never that amazing tbh, only because i never how to properly start a book, but that's okay

the first few chapters of this story are going to follow my wattpad story almost exactly (except for the characters of course) but after those first few chapters, it’ll be switched up a little bit! the chapters will still be pretty much be the same though

i really hope this story doesn’t disappoint you guys…i wrote this two years ago so it needs a lot of tweaking lmao

more coming soon, i hope you all are doing well🤍

tags: @dandelionwrites8 @joeburreauxsworld @theflawedwriter @mrsshiesty @ann288 @ijustcrypretty @theoneandonlyfanz @wickedfun9 @venus-b @hummusxx @stainednailpolishremover @a-moment-captured @joyfulfrienddonkeybanana @alternativemadchen @erinmartin1987 @sirlewisworld @emherb10

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x you #daddy issues

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trumpkinhotboy · 9 months

Text

"All that matters to me is that you're happy"

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Younger sibling!reader

Type: Request (thank youuu !!)

Genre: Angst and fluff

Warnings: A few curse words, homophobic comments, having a homophobic family member/sibling, being “bullied” by a family member

Rating: 13+ (because of curse words)

Word count: approx. 4k

Requests: Open! For Heartstopper, Twilight wolfpack, Narnia and Harry Potter

A/n: I must say, I loved writing this fic, but it always make me feel a bit weird to write about someone who’s homophobic… I know it’s sadly part of our society, but ugh. Just writing those horribles words made me feel weird and the saddest thing is that they’re all things I’ve actually heard before ????? But anyway, i think the fluff really does outweigh the angst (lol) and im sending you all a big fat queer hug <33

*gif is not mine!!

** Can you imagine him hugging you like this? Making you feel safe and shit?? Ughh. Nick would be the best brother on earth that for SUUUURE (i even wrote a thing about it hehe, if you want to check it out it’s here :3)

Summary: After being around Charlie and his group of friends' the reader starts to question themselves a bit more, wondering what they’re own sexuality and gender might truly be. However, all that discovery isn't made easy by their oldest brother David, who’s never been one to shy away from speaking what’s on his mind (even though it's the most hainous and stupid thing you might hear:)). After a pretty heated fight between the two of them, the reader takes refuge in their room where they will at least get comfort and support from their other brother, Nick.

It had already been a week since your oldest brother, David, came home from university, and it was proving to be one of the longest weeks of your life. David's presence at home always meant you had to deal with a bunch of mixed and confusing feelings. You used to be quite close with him. Once, David Nelson was a sweet and funny boy, but since he entered his teenage years, he proved to be a complete asshat. You still had your good moments together, from time to time, but they were becoming pretty scarce. Especially since he started making all those homophobic and horrible comments about LGBTQIA+ folks. When something stupid came out of his mouth, which happened quite a lot, you usually tried to ignore him, not wanting to engage in a fight every single time. Especially when you knew he loved to do it on purpose, but it was incredibly harder to do since you had met Charlie and his friends and learned that your brother Nick was bisexual. That wasn't taking into account the fact that you had started to question your own sexuality. Fights kept sparking up with your brother, and you couldn't just stand down anymore and let him spew his homophobic nonsense.

Contrary to your habit, you came back from school alone that day. After you waited a good 15 minutes for Nick to make an appearance at the crowded gates of Truham, you sent him two text messages, which were left unanswered. You decided to head home anyway, knowing something must have come up for him.

Sitting in the old bus bringing you closer to home, you let your mind drift. You found your thoughts heading toward a subject that had become quite familiar to you in the past few weeks. You thought about how you admired Charlie and his friends. They were so accepting and loving towards each other. You always wished you could have a friend group like that. You had lots of friends at Higgs, some very nice ones at that, but it wasn't the same. You weren't your 100% authentic self with them. You would never be able to tell them how uncomfortable you felt with all the heteronormativity demonstrated at school and how you always felt a bit weird about being in a ‘girl's’ school. In fact, you didn't mind it at all, but you hated all the stereotypical crap that came with it. Deep down inside, you never really considered yourself a girl or a boy. You were just a human, existing and floating around, trying to make the best of life. You felt trapped by the gender box and wanted to exist outside of it. You wanted to do anything you wished, wear anything you wanted without having to think whether it was a "girly" or "boyish" thing to do. Until a certain age, you didn't really care about all of that, but the older you got, it felt like stereotypes were being pushed onto you even more. And lately, you just couldn't come up with a way to deal with it, although the need was getting more pressing with each passing day.

As you walked home, completely lost in thought and not really noticing what was in front of you, you bumped into a tall, and lanky boy.

"Y/n! There you are!" You heard Charlie's familiar voice say from afar, slowly bringing you back to the mortal realm. "Nick's been looking for you everywhere!"

"Oh, right," you mumbled. "I did wait at Truham and even texted him, but after a while, I just decided to go anyway."

The curly-haired boy stayed silent for a second, noticing you seemed out of it. Silent and pensive, instead of being your usual cheerful self. He shifted his head to the side, trying to catch your gaze. "Are you okay?"

You looked up at him, confusion filling your eyes. "I don't know," you admitted. "It's been an interesting past few weeks." You kicked small pebbles off the sidewalk as he took ahold of your arm, bringing you to a small bench on the side of the road.

"Do you want to talk about it? You know I'm here if you ever need to talk about anything." he kindly offered. You let out a heavy breath. How could you talk about something that didn't even make sense to you?

"I-, I've been questioning myself a lot lately…" He didn't react to that declaration, giving you the space you needed to express yourself fully, but encouraged you to carry on with a subtle nod. "I-, you know, with you and Nick, and your friends and just, everything in fact. I- ugh, I just feel so trapped." Elbows on your knees, you pressed your closed eyes with the palms of your hands. A feeble attempt to relieve some of the pressure you felt buzzing in your overstimulated brain.

"Trapped?"

"Like I'm suffocating. People keep saying stuff that makes me uncomfortable, and I'm not sure why it makes me feel this way."

You turned to face him, his expression a mix of surprise and compassion. With his own coming out and Nick's situation, Charlie was getting quite versed in the 'question yourself' department. "What kind of stuff?"

"Well…" you hesitated for a second. Saying those things out loud felt like jumping off a cliff, and you weren't sure what was waiting for you down there, but Charlie felt like such a safe person. His kind and caring expression made you want to say the words bouncing around in your head for the first time. Deep down, you knew he was one of the few people you could tell this without being scared.

"I hate all these labels and stereotypes everyone seems to be pushing on me. I don't think I've ever really noticed it before, but now I see every weird reaction and surprised glance when I say or do something that might be just a tiny bit out of the 'normal' box. I'm just a human. I don't feel attached to any gender, either with myself or when I'm interested in someone. Their gender doesn't matter to me, it's their personality, interests, and how they treat me. That's what matters and makes sense to me." You were slightly out of breath after you blurted this whole thing out. Once you started talking, it felt impossible to stop. Coming to your senses about everything you had just told Charlie, you nervously looked his way. "Or at least, I think."

True to himself, he had listened patiently, never interrupting you. You took a deep breath, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders. It was such a refreshing feeling. Your brother's boyfriend looked at you in silence before smiling.

"I'm really happy, and honored you felt comfortable enough to tell me about all of this Y/n. Does Nick know about the way you feel?"

You shook your head no, feeling a hint of guilt creeping in. "I didn't know what to tell him… I'm not even sure how I feel can be put into clear words."

"Sometimes it is pretty hard to find ways to put an exact word on a state of mind, but if you'd like, I can tell you about some stuff that might be linked to how you feel. You're not the only one who feels like that, and even if it's not exactly the good word for you, maybe it can give you an idea. A hint of things to look up, to do some research on and see what that feels like for you."

You nodded excitedly. Your innocent enthusiasm exerting a laugh from Charlie.

"But. We'll do that as I walk you home, okay? Nick had a rugby thing tonight and panicked a bit when he realized he hadn't told you about it. He asked me to text him when I saw you and would probably feel more comfortable knowing I walked you home. So, is that a deal?”

The discussion you shared on your walk home was one of the most informative you've ever had. Charlie was full of knowledge, and he was incredibly good at explaining everything. When he left you on your doorstep, words like "non-binary" and "pansexual" still danced around in your brain. You thanked him thoroughly before promising to keep him updated. You entered your cozy home, feeling some relief for the first time in a while. Nellie's excited welcome only made it better. She was dancing around your feet, letting out high-pitched barks.

"Y/n? That you, darling?" you heard your mother's voice call from the kitchen.

"Yes, mum!"

You joined her in the delicious smelling room after you granted Nellie your entire attention. She was still following you around, almost making you trip as she slipped between your legs. As you came in, you were incredibly happy to see the plate of lasagna your mother put in the stove.

"You're a bit late. Everything alright?"

"Oh yes. Charlie walked me home since Nick had a rugby thing. We got distracted a little bit, that's why."

Your mother only nodded with a smile. She absolutely loved Charlie and knew that if you were with him, she didn't need to worry about a thing. She entirely trusted him to take care of her Nelson babies.

"Dinner'll be ready in twenty."

You nodded before you walked to the living room, your bag slung over your shoulder.

"Hey." saluted David. He was sprawled on the couch, focused on some video game on the screen. Nellie, still on your heels, let out a low growl when she noticed his presence. Like you, she wasn't much of a fan of David's. You rolled your eyes as you realized he had, once again, borrowed Nick's Nintendo Switch without asking. You finally grunted in response, not wanting to end your good mood by engaging with him. "Heard you say that Charlie walked you home."

His comment immediately made you tense up. When David was mentioning Charlie, it rarely ended well. You still remember vividly the night he had met him, all the things he had said, and how much of a dick he had been. You had felt so bad for poor Charlie and spent the night in Nick's room, allowing him to vent about the situation. "Yeah." you cautiously answered.

"So?"

"So what?" you turned on your heels, facing him with a challenging look, daring him to say some dumb shit again.

"Well, he's not trying to turn you gay, is he?" he snickered.

Your mouth opened in an astonished 'oh'. He didn't dare to say that, did he? If his comment hadn't made you so angry, you would have laughed at his stupidity. "What the hell, David. Do you even hear yourself?"

He let out an idiotic laugh, sounding like all the morons you had the pleasure to cross paths with at school. "No, but I mean, he's already convinced Nick, maybe you're next on the list. Maybe he wants you to join his little gay club."

Tightening your grip on the strap of your bag, your blood boiled in your veins. If you were a comic character, high-pressure smoke would come out of your ears right this instant. You couldn't understand how such a hateful and horrible human being could be related to you and the rest of your family.

"Shut the hell up. What does it bring you to be such a dick?"

He put his game on pause, noticing the change in your tone. "Oh my god, not you too. Can't anybody take a joke anymore?"

"David, I swear, you better shut up. I'm done letting you say such hateful things without saying anything."

"Listen, I just don't want to be stuck in a house with so many gay people. Don't want to catch it, you know. I don't even get it. It can't even physically work between same-sex people. Is it some weird kinky stuff? Am I really cursed to be the only sane one in this family?" He started his game again as if he hadn't just said one of the worst things you had ever heard. At this point, he wasn't even trying to hide his homophobia. You always tried to keep the peace between you two, knowing it made your mother very sad when you got in fights, but this was your limit, and he kept crossing it as if it didn't matter.

"I don't even know why you keep bothering coming home when all you do is be a stupid piece of shit towards Nick and me. You were an asshole to him when he came out, and now you want to do the same to me? You're not even nice to mum! I, we, don't need this in our life."

"You too? So you are gay?!"

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!" You took a breath, trying to refrain from punching him straight in the face. "You know what, I'm not interested in having a relationship with someone like you. You try to act as if you are this cool and nice older brother who's just joking, but you AREN'T. You're just mean and a fricking homophobe. Don't you ever talk to me again, got it?" You kept your tone cold, but made sure that every word coming of your mouth was coated in venom.The 'game over' sound escaped the TV, your brother staring at you, clearly dumbfounded by your last words. You left the room before you could start crying in front of him and bumped into your mother, her eyes wide open. No doubt she had heard the last part of that conversation. It broke your heart to see the expression on her face, but if she couldn't recognize when her own son was being a bully, that wasn't on you. She would never accept that behavior from anyone else, she was giving him too many chances, and you couldn't abide it when it came to something as serious as this.

"Y/n, darling…"

"I don't know why you still allow him to come here. It's been years since David has been decent to us. I'm so tired of it Mum, I'm done with it. I can't take this anymore, and someone needs to tell him this is NOT okay. I'm not talking to him anymore, and I really mean it. This isn't a petty little fight between siblings. This is serious."

"I-"

Your attention was captured by the front door opening on a very sweaty Nick.

"Hi, I'm home!" you heard his familiar voice say. The smile on his face vanished when he noticed the expression on you and your mother's faces. "What happened?" he asked seriously. Worry invaded his hazelnut eyes at the sight of your disheveled figure, your chest quickly going up and down, your breath shallow with anger. Your mother's state wasn't comforting either. She looked absolutely brokenhearted.

"David. That's what happened," you said with a sarcastic smile before you went around your mother, climbing the stairs as quickly as you could to escape into your room. It didn't take very long for you to hear the screaming coming from downstairs. A mix of your mother and both your brothers' voices. You shoved your head into your pillow and slipped under the covers, trying to make yourself as small as possible before you let the tears run freely down your face.

You opened your eyes after some time, feeling as confused as ever. You felt like you were on another planet, hunger rumbling in your stomach. You looked at the time on your phone with half-opened eyes. 8:00pm. You must have fallen asleep after all the crying.

You listened carefully, trying to hear what was happening downstairs when you saw your door open about an inch. Nick's face was peeking in the crack, trying his best not to make a sound. "Hey, kiddo. Can I come in?" he softly asked. You mumbled a yes, slowly sitting up in your bed, trying to regain some grasp on reality. His hands were full with a tray containing a plate of delicious-smelling lasagna, a steaming cup of tea, and a piece of brownie your mother had baked the night prior. He put it down on your night table, his eyes looking for yours.

"So."

"Mom told me what happened with David." he started. "I'm so sorry Y/n. Usually, I try to protect you from him. I'm sorry I wasn't home to prevent that whole situation from happening."

Once again, your eyes filled with tears. You didn't think it was even physically possible after all the crying you had already done, but here you were. You looked down at your fidgety hands, determined not to let him see the emotion arising in you.

"Yeah. Well, he's David. We know he's horrible."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he has a right to act like this. Mum said she'll take care of it. He really crossed the line this time."

His hands were stuffed in the pocket of his gray sweatpants. A few wild strands of reddish hair fell in his eyes. He still looked so worried, guilty even. He had hoped you never would have to go through that and couldn't help but feel responsible that it happened anyway. You didn't dare to add anything, afraid that speaking would break you. Everything you were feeling was already so confusing, and the fight with your brother only made it worse. Nick kept staring, unsure what to do. He wanted to be there for you but didn't want to push your limits. He decided to sit on your bed, close, but not enough to be in your personal space. A very gentle approach was probably the way to go. You kept staring at your knees, knowing if you looked at him, it was done for, you would crack again. Nick and you were incredibly close. He was your brother, and in a way, he was an extension of yourself. You would do anything for him and knew the feeling was reciprocated. Having that kind of relationship had its advantages, but when you were trying to keep yourself from falling apart… it was kind of a pain. How could you look into his eyes and lie about everything you felt?

Gently, he took ahold of your hands. "Can I do anything to help?"

You stared at your hands covered with his freckled ones. These hands helped you through so much. They steadied you when you learned to ride a bike at seven. They always held yours when you were scared, and they always rubbed your back soothingly when you needed comfort.

You finally lifted your gaze, tears rolling down your face. You nodded as your lower lip started to shake uncontrollably. "Can I- can I have a hug?"

He took a deep breath before wrapping you in his arms.

"Come here." he engulfed you in his embrace making you feel protected and as safe as ever. He jumped under the covers so you both sat, your backs resting on your headboard. His arms still around you, and your head on his chest, you assembled the courage to let the words stuck in your throat be expressed.

You told him about all the things you had been questioning lately. All the stereotypes and labels that made you feel trapped. You told him about your walk with Charlie and how good it had felt to hear that it was all okay, that you were okay. Your gaze turned dark when you told him word for word about your conversation with David. You felt his grip tighten on you for a split second. You were no stranger to the anger David triggered in your brother.

"And then you came home, and now we're here." You ended your monologue and looked up to him. His brows furrowed, he seemed in deep, deep thoughts. Looking straight ahead, everything you told him was still settling in his mind. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, until my discussion with Charlie, I didn't even know what I was feeling."

The mention of his boyfriend seemed to bring him back to the present. He looked at you, forcing a smile on his lips that did not quite reach his eyes. "That's okay. You don't ever have to tell me something if you don't feel ready. I'm glad Charlie was there to catch you when you needed to."

You smiled, feeling once again that comforting warmth spreading in your chest. You were incredibly grateful to have such an amazing brother as Nicholas. You squeezed him a bit tighter. He reciprocated your gesture while resting his cheek on top of your head.

"Although I must admit I am a tiny bit jealous that you told him before me…"

"Jealous, uh?" you giggled after getting up, staring at him and the sparkle of mischief in his eyes.

"I'm just saying I want you to remember who has always slipped you some candies when mum said it was enough. Before you replace me with Charlie, that is."

You burst out laughing, remembering the many times you almost got sick because of all the candies Nick had slipped you.

"No worries, brother. I'm not thinking of replacing you just yet. You're too useful to me."

"Ah! That's comforting." His gaze in the direction of the ceiling, the smile on his face stilled. "I'm really sorry again about David. He's such a dick. I already felt so bad for what happened with Charlie. I'm so mad he dared to do the same to you." Your oldest brother's inner brain working was something that needed to be examined by scientists. You would never pretend to know how it even worked. "I thought that it was me he specifically had a problem with. I hoped that your youngest sibling's status would protect you. That was foolish of me. I should have said something before."

Rubbing his eyes with his hands, he seemed incredibly tired and vulnerable. You hated that someone from your own family could have that effect on him. In fact, you hated that someone in your family caused you all so much hurt.

"David's always been like that. Ever since he turned fourteen, he's been a bully. I think the important thing is that we never let it slide anymore. I think we all gave him too many chances, and it resulted in the lovely human being he is now." You reached for his hand once more, hoping to take away some of the guilt in his eyes. "This is not your fault Nick. You know how much I appreciate how you're always there for me, but I need to fight my own battles, and this is what I've done today. As shitty as it feels to know what David thinks of queer people, I feel incredibly proud to have stood up to him. To have said enough."

Your words seemed to lighten up his mood. The smile on his face wasn’t full yet, but it was getting much closer to a heartfelt one. "I am proud of you too. You're such a badass kid."

Curling your arms to show your guns, you wiggled your brows, hoping it would make him laugh and bring back on his features that dear smile of his. To your advantage, you did know your brother pretty well because he couldn't contain his laugh at the display of your dumb antics.

For the rest of the night, you stayed hidden in your room. You ate your whole plate and decided to put on a movie. You decided that the best remedy to such a shitty evening was to have one of your infamous movie nights. Nick even went out to fetch Nellie and some more sweets to satisfy the both of you.

"Y/n," he whispered halfway through the movie. A huge bowl of popcorn on both your laps, yours salty and his sweet, Nellie sprawled at the end of the bed, you hummed, reluctantly taking your focus away from the screen.

"What? I swear if you're about to ask me for some of my popcorn again, I'll punch you."

"It's not that." he chuckled. "I, I just want to say that if you need help with anything in your… your quest of understanding your sexuality."

"My quest?!" you interrupted with a laugh.

"Shut up." he threw some popcorn to your face, which you immediately ate, before he continued. "No, but I mean if you need help in your research or want me to be mindful of the pronouns I use for you. I want you to let me know."

You paused the movie, your expression a neutral surprise. "Nick, I-"

"No pressure or anything! I know you're still exploring and learning about new stuff. I just want you to know that I'm 100% here for you, no matter what, okay? You can ask me anything, and I'll do my best to help and support you. All that matters to me is that you are happy."

You stayed silent, the idea of exploring your pronouns still hanging in the air in front of you. You scrunched your nose and buried your face in his shoulder.

"I don't know what I would do without you. Thank you, Nick," you whispered with muffled words that barely came through the fabric of his sweatshirt.

"Better than Charlie?" he whispered back, diffusing the seriousness of the moment. You sat straight again, looking at him, a sparkle glowing in both your eyes. He was dumb. He loved to make jokes and tease you, but he was your big brother and your best friend in the whole world.

You offered him some of your salted popcorn before you focused again on the movie. Even though this had been a shitty week and evening, you took some time to just appreciate this precious moment, and took comfort in knowing that no matter what, you would always have Nick by your side.

#ilya writes #nick nelson #nick nelson x sibling!reader #nick nelson x reader #nick nelson x charlie spring #heartstopper #heartstopper fic #nick nelson fic #heartstopper comic #alice oseman #kit connor #joe locke #olivia coleman #i want nick nelson to be my big brother

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shouldiusemyname · 10 months

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Episode 6 and Pisaeng's journey

I need to write about this because, first of all I am angry about this entire event. Second, as I said about Chot in Step by Step, I believe that we need to understand Pisaeng's angle to get the complete story. In order to get the other half (aka his mother), head over to @bengiyo for his post about Pisang's mom and the history of weaponizing the queer community against itself.

@biochemjess has touched on it a bit here in regards to how Pisaeng fits into the themes of rejection and acceptance in this show. and I would like to get into some details here.

Pisaeng's conversation with his mother sheds a complete new light about Pisaeng and everything that we've learned about him so far.

Apparently, Pisaeng is very clear about his sexuality. He has been clear about it since he was 15! So this:

This is not Pisaeng contemplating his emerging queerness. This is Pisaeng lamenting. This is pisaeng seeing what he could have had all this time. What his mother has taken away from him.

Which gives a whole new meaning to this:

Pisaeng is not lonely because he can't make a connection with others or finds it hard to make friends. He is lonely by choice. He is lonely because he is in the closet. He is lonely because his mother has isolated him from his own community leaving him no choice but to associate with Not and his band of toxic buffoons.

No one and nowhere is safe for pisaeng. His mother made sure of that. This is how you get people to internalize homophobia. Saying shit like "you can do or be whatever you want, just in the privacy of your own home, with no one knowing about it. Because, you see, I'm not the problem. I will love you and accept you. It's just that other people out there are not like me. They wouldn't understand you."

Pisaeng has been hearing this since he was a teenager. From a woman he trusted enough to talk to about his sexuality. This is some top tier gaslighting. As I see it, Pisaeng was ready to come out when he was younger, he is sure of who he is and confident in his sexuality. What's important to understand is that he was shoved deep deep into the closet by his mother who has gaslit him into seeing her as a safe space.

This is where Kawi and Max are game changers for Pisaeng. First, pisaeng sees Kawi as important enough to risk outing himself. I would guess that it's probably the first time he's allowing himself to want someone, hence this:

He wants this and he is ready to take the first step. I also feel like his decision to go into the gay bar is intended to signal to his mom that he is done with her bs. He knows she will hear about it. He makes sure she hears about it. He walks in and just stands there making sure he's seen.

Sure, he freaks out when he's approached by Max, but that's because he realizes that this actually might reach his mother and there's no turning back now.

Then, after doing some damage control with Max and making sure he isn't one of his mom's informants, he turns Max into his community. At this point, Max is the only queer community he gets to have because his mom has made sure that he knows she has eyes everywhere. While Pisaeng wants to let his mom know what he's been up to, he does want someone he can trust going forward. I don't remember if he knows Max and Kawi are friends, but I think he's betting on Max because he knows non of his mom's informants would have approached him. So basically, what I'm saying is that Pisaeng wasn't checking in with Max to make sure he won't tell on him, he's doing it because he wants to make sure that Max can be a safe space for him.

That's why Pisaeng reacts with a Face when he finds out that Max finds his mom interesting. I think it's disappointing to him especially since Max is an observant no-shit person, and Pisaeng was hoping he would be able to see past his mom's bs.

By the time his mother is back home, Pisaeng is ready. He has been expecting this and it shows in his reactions. He knows her tricks, he knows where she's going, and he isn't taking it anymore. He is blocking her every move even at breakfast when she tries to understand what exactly went on at night with Kawi. He is not letting her get anything anymore because he knows she will use it against him just like she did before.

So, to build on what @biochemjess was saying, Pisaeng's journey is about rejecting his mother (who represents so much of what keeps us hidden) and allowing himself to accept what being out can offer him.

#be my favorite #be my favorite meta #pisaeng #thai bl

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quiveringdeer · 1 year

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Camera Roll Challenge: Dating Jean Kirschtein

I dunno what it is about Jean but this man reads hopeless romantic to me. Maybe the whole being an artist thing. Especially when he's older. Breakfast in bed just cause you deserve it. Probably did the thing where he wrote letters to his future self to open at certain life milestones. Some of them are to his future significant other. When they get engaged. When they get married. When they've been together 5, 10, 15, etc years.

It's something he keeps up with as he gets older too. So they aren't always just from his super younger self. Maybe he wrote one to his future partner in high school then after going through lots of growth and experiences he decides to write another one to that same person. It'd be really interesting to read how much he changed in-between those years. I think he'd also make ones for partners that are like, what I was thinking in the moments before our first kiss. when I knew I'd fallen in love with you. other ways I thought of proposing. (Man, I'm so smitten for this man, I can't believe out of everyone I'm writing the most in depth for him. lol)

I don't know if he ever reaches the smooth or suave level when flirting or asking folks out --tho he thinks he has lol. He's so corny but it's really sweet and cute. Probably continues to use ridiculous pickup lines on people as a way to break the ice.

He can dance-thanks to Connie! He's a got pretty good rhythm and is a quick learner when someone takes the time with him. So thanks to his bestie Jean can salsa, batchata and merengue. He's always up for going out dancing and would take the time to teach his partner. Along with that, he's also the type of person that feels a big urge to wine and dine his partner and take them out on regular dates no matter how long they've been together.

Also the dancing wouldn't just be when yall are out on the town. Saturday morning cleaning days often lead to some kind of dancing and sometimes dance-off shenanigans. Depending on the music selection.

Like Bertholdt, I can really picture Jean being into theatre. Though, unlike Bertie, he very much thrives being the center of attention on stage. Related to the hopeless romantic thing, I can see him memorizing monologs, sonnets and poetry to recite to his partner.

Also, while there is that one OVA of him being a lil shit to his mom, I feel like once he gets over that teen "too cool for my mom" era he's a great son. His mom is so accepting of you and the first time you come for dinner she's totally the stereotypical mom who breaks out baby photos of her Jeanbo! I feel like she'd be such a great mother-in-law and is just so thrilled that Jean found someone to give his heart to.

A few photo thoughts below the cut :)

Top middle: Random morning with him bringing you breakfast in bed. And then also cleaning up the dishes afterward! Definitive husband material right here. (not that the bar should be that low but it's a green check) And you can't help but wanna catch a photo of those pretty legs of his as he's heading out.

Middle left: Okay I can't make a Jean post without bringing up horses. lol I feel like he grew up in the burbs and never really interacted much with them. But being besties with Sasha he ends up tagging along with her and Connie when she starts learning to ride from friends at the Ren Faire she works at in high school. Also, can you imagine how dreamy this man would look dressed up as a knight? Then waxing on poetically about how much he's in love with you? Corny as hell but my heart would definitely be doin flips.

Middle center: Why did he take a picture of himself pretending to sleep and send it to you?? Who knows with this boy. But at least he's cute. And he does seem real snuggleable.

Middle left: Booooooooooooooooy. I don't know bout yall but this photo got me feelin some type of way. Not just the tongue but the beanie and the earring too. 😮‍💨 Just feels like our boy's whole vibe in a nutshell.

#jean kirschtein x black reader #jean x black reader #jean kirschtein #jean kirschtein x reader #jean x reader #jean smau #jean kirschtein smau #aot x black reader #aot x reader #aot smau #nat writes #i dunno why this is so mushy!#i did not plan to write any of these things but they just came to me #sweet soft man

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internetmisfitsworld · 8 months

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"What if Perseus is Makarov's father??" I said, jokingly.

And so begins my quest of finding whether or not how logical this theory could be.

And well...

I don't think it's a joke anymore lmao.

It really is unsettling how truly similar they are.

In certain ways.

Before we begin, let's clarify something here.

Since AV de-aged reboot Makarov, this theory only make sense if you pair Perseus with the OG Makarov. Why? Because Perseus died of cancer in 1983.

Since we have yet to know how old is the new Makarov, I'm gonna assumed he's around Price's age. At least I hope so. Idk how I'm gonna feel if they decides to make him late 20s. He's gotta be born either in 1985 or younger than that. At least that's what he looks like. So, there's no way Perseus could be his father.

Now, the OG Makarov though......

Let's go through this points by points.

He was born in 1970. October 4th, to be precise (at least according to Soap's journal). There's no indication or mentioned siblings in his record. Parents or whatsoever. I have my own personal HC on this but that's another essay.

Perseus himself doesn't have any canon date of birth and place of birth. Let's assume he was born in, maybe, around the year of 1918. I was gonna go ahead and make him the same age as Adler (1937). But according to this modelling mugshot pose he pulls photo,

If he looks this scrumptious old during 1960, then he's gotta be at least 42 years old. That would make him 52 when baby Mak was born in 1970.

"Isn't he a little old to be a dad at that age?" Uhhh not really. Especially given his situation, my dude was constantly on the move busy doing spy shit all over the world. He was young, patriotic. So, perhaps domestic life wasn't exactly on his mind at the time being or just haven't found the one yet. My guess is, he found someone in 1968/1969 yada yada fall in love yada yada get married yada yada and boom baby Mak was born in 1970. Whether they settled for one kid or more, that's up to your interpretation.

Now, in terms of looks, I don't think they're exactly copy paste. We know that Mak has Heterochromia. Perseus had blue eyes and Makarov's mama must've had green eyes.

If we want to compare their pictures, let's start with in-game model.

Ehhh I'd say they score about 75-80% in terms of appearance alikeness. Big ass forehead? Check ✅️

Now, if you put Perseus real life model and Makarov MW3 model..

Yeah okay score about 95%. Especially the eyebrow scrunch thing.

Perseus was 6 ft'2. Our boi on the other hand was 5 ft'11. My dude did not inherit the tall genes unfortunately.

Perseus and Makarov both had comradeship with Imran Zakhaev.

Zakhaev looked up to Perseus, claiming him to be "a mentor, having played a part in radicalizing his attitude towards the West."

As for Makarov, we know how much he looked up to Zakhaev. He did took him in during the lowest point of his life and gave him a purpose. Something he lost when he was forced to discharge from the military. Zakhaev's protégé. Zakhaev's executioner.

However, Perseus and Mak share one common trait; their methods were frowned upon by Zakhaev.

"Imran, however, soon realized the danger of Perseus's ideas. Believing Perseus's actions would turn the world against the Soviet Union, he prevented Perseus from taking control of a facility in Verdansk, where a chemical agent called NOVA-4 was produced."

"While Zakhaev was grateful to Makarov for saving his life on the day of his assassination attempt, he also kept him in check, possibly due to the fear of Makarov's extreme methods and ambitions, which later proved correct."

It boggles my mind that Zakhaev have the patience to continously kept Makarov's in check for 15 years of their partnership. He's aware of how terrifyingly brutal he is and even though it clearly bothered him, he still kept him around.

This is one of the key points that makes me wonder if Makarov is not just a nobody that he picked off the underworld. Maybe him being Perseus's son is what drives Zakhaev to mentor him and stick with it till the end. Well, at least as long as he could control him. I had no doubt that if Makarov push Zakhaev too far and shows signs of being too out of control, he'll be dead way before Price could wrung his neck.

Speaking of methods,

"Perseus' true plan was to detonate all the American nukes across Europe and have the United States take the fall. Perseus wanted to rebuild Russia from the ashes."

"Makarov's scheme was to initiate the global conflict of World War III, and that was accomplished by massacring a Russian airport and making it look like the US was involved. Later on, he would attempt to nuke all of Europe for Russia to fully invade and rebuild from the ashes."

See the resemblance?

Their speech pattern really parallel each other;

Perseus: Today, we reshape the world.

Makarov: Today, we show the world our true strength.

Perseus: Our motherland is lead by cowards and weaklings.

Makarov: Now our country is run by squabbling lackeys and politicians who can hardly be called patriots.

Perseus: The superpowers will fall, victims of their own greed and corruption.

Makarov: The corrupt talk; while our brothers and sons spill their own blood.

Perseus: We will rebuild Greater Russia from the ashes.

Makarov: Russia will take all of Europe, even if it must stand upon a pile of ashes.

Perseus: They sleep soundly at night, knowing they put on a good parade - but they lack the will to do what must be done.

Makarov: Our enemies believe that they alone dictate the course of history, but all it takes is the will of a single man.

Perseus: The others, however, are still out there. I will finish them off if I have to.

Makarov: I will not rest until I have killed or captured the men who killed Imran Zakhaev.

Perseus: (to Bell) You remember my face don't you?

Makarov: (to Vorshevsky) You know who I am?

Perseus: But have no doubt. These are but temporary losses. We are just getting started, my friend.

Makarov: The road to our future begins here, my friend.

So in conclusion, it seems that the possibility of them being father and son is really plausible so far.

#vladimir makarov #call of duty vladimir makarov #cod makarov #mw vladimir makarov #modern warfare vladimir makarov #mw makarov #call of duty perseus #cod perseus #call of duty cold war #theory for fun don't get pissy about this #may or may not be serious about this #actually yk what i am serious about this

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homoeroticgrappling · 2 months

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Revolution is going to be emotional

Or: me reflecting on wrestling and Sting, under the cut

Revolution marks the anniversary of the first time I sat down to watch AEW, I got invited by a friend who was into wrestling to come hang out for the PPV weekend and watch it as a social thing and figured why not? We spent the day before doing a crash course for me (and the one other non-wrestling fan in the room) so we'd know who we were going to see at the PPV and what storylines were going on so we could follow and pick who we wanted to root for. One single clip with Danhausen in the background tipped me from intrigued to actively invested, I stayed up all night catching up on things and when the PPV started I was so excited to watch even if I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I got into wrestling in a big way immediately, I haven't missed a show since then and I've met so many incredible people through wrestling especially here on tumblr, including the love of my life. (Wish I could time travel and try to explain to my past self that thanks to a wrestling demon with a thing for teeth and his hoodie wearing, chip chomping tag partner I met the most incredible person, wrestling is such a wild thing to explain without context) I guess people are right when they say wrestling really does bring people together, it definitely changed my life for the better

Before that point, the most I'd done was keep loose tabs on Rhea Ripley after seeing clips of a match of hers late 2018, but I hadn't thought wrestling was "my thing" so I never tried engaging with it more. I didn't grow up with it, I wasn't allowed to watch it when I was younger, the most I can remember interacting with wrestling as a child is getting to play with a friend's action figures when we were maybe 9. I couldn't for the life of you tell you who most of them were supposed to be, there's only one that stuck out in my memory enough for me to know who it was: Sting. I didn't know who he was, but I had a cool goth uncle so I wanted to play with that one because it looked like the guy in that movie my uncle liked. I remember my friend excitedly telling me "HE'S THE BEST ONE" and showing me how to pretend swoop down from the rafters of an imaginary venue so I could properly play Sting.

I can remember watching AEW when I was a new fan and didn't know anyone and going "I know him!" Sting's reach extended beyond wrestling fans, and although I didn't know much about his career I knew he was a big deal. I watched his run in AEW, I got recommended matches of his throughout his career to check out, and I could see why they called him the icon. When I spoke to people who watched wrestling when they were younger but didn't keep up with it, they'd ask if there was anyone they'd know and I'd always immediately say Sting, usually getting a response along the lines of "wow, he's still going? I used to love him"

(I also managed to meet some people at an event for All In 2023 and discussed with them my ranking of Sting eras by most attractive, because I am not immune to an attractive person in face paint. Then maybe 15 minutes later as we were waiting for the elevator to leave the hotel, who should come up also wanting to leave but the man himself. I have never gone so silent in my LIFE I swear, made panicked eye contact with our little group, and as soon as he'd gone on his way I got asked if I was okay, as if I hadn't just felt my life flash before my eyes)

Like a lot of people, I haven't known the world of professional wrestling without Sting in it, and it's going to be strange for him to not be there anymore. So many wrestlers are posting tributes, he paved the way for the current era of professional wrestling in America and he has inspired so many people. Seeing the outpouring of love and sharing of memories it seems like everyone is united in celebrating not only his career, but the man behind it as well. Although it's bittersweet knowing tonight will be his last match, I'm grateful I got into wrestling in time to see him wrestle live in person and see him go out on his own terms, happy and healthy. Knowing he got to decide how he wanted this to go, who he wanted to wrestle with and against, it doesn't matter to me what my personal feelings might be on if I would've picked this for his last match because it's what he wanted, and Sting always delivers an entertaining match.

I hope we all have fun, but most importantly I hope Sting has fun in his last match before retirement. He's earned it.

#rowan's ramblings

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eveandtheturtles · 11 months

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Through Fire and Smoke part 2

Ship: Bayverse!Leo X Named!Reader

Summary: Leo and you are going on a date. You find out more about him. More than you expected. Happens during chapters 8-10 of Started with a Kiss (my Donnie x OC fic).

A/N: Hope y'all excited for more Amelia and Leo lol. Everyone here is in an adult unless stated otherwise. First part is in my masterlist! Reader is a Firefighter. I didn't expect this chapter to be split into two but it did lol. The next part, should be the final part probably. There might be more. Here's some tags!

@madammuffins @m1dnyt3-w0lf @turtle-babe83 @thelaundrybitch @leosgirl82 @pheradream-15 @tinkabelle19 @scholastic-dragon @dilucsflame33 @sharpwindow

(if anyone wants to be removed lemme know)

After the little rescue you did for Leo you two kept in touch, especially since you set up a date. The text conversations you had with him were the highlight of your day. You found out he was a little bit of a geek from the way he talked about shows and even admitted to have a small collection of posters and action figures he shared with his younger brother, Donnie. He was charming but you loved teasing him the most. He had the best reaction to that. The no-nonsense exterior would crack a little revealing a more relaxed, pun-loving Leo. You enjoyed that guy

You didn't know what you expected from your date with the mysterious mutant turtle. Which meant some wild guessing on how to dress for it. Maybe something like Lady and the Tramp style? You imagined a date in back alley with two Chinese chefs serenading you over orange chicken. Ridiculous.

Then maybe a day before the date he revealed something you needed a moment to process.

[Smoked Turtle: Hey so I figured there's something I should have told you sooner]

You read the message and a sliver of anxiety creeped up at you. You quickly pushed it back and wrote back

[You're secretly a 6 foot tall turtle living in a sewer?]

[Smoked Turtle: -snort- very funny.]

[I'm here all week]

[Smoked Turtle: but seriously, you should know this before we go on a date]

[Fire away, sir.]

He started typing. The three dots blinked on your screen for a minute, two. Then they stopped. Then appeared again. Finally, he sent the message.

[Smoked Turtle: Im poly.]

The three dots were still on your screen.

[Smoked Turtle: I have a bf his name is Jake]

Ah. Well, you didn't exactly expect that. You thought he might tell you he's alien prince or dying or that he was raising a clutch of baby mutant turtles (was that even the correct term? You needed to google that).

[Well, thank you for telling me this. I'm guessing he knows about you planning on going on a date with me?]

[Smoked Turtle: Yeah. I told him about you and he didn't object. He knows I'm poly too and we had discussion about it and all.]

[Smoked Turtle: You can back out if this is uncomfortable for you.]

You thought for a moment. One of your coworkers were poly. You recalled her gushing about her partners but also complain about the issues she had. You weighted your own feelings.

[Thank you for telling me this.]

You paused because, wow that did put you in a spin.

[So, we're still up for 8pm tomorrow?]

[Smoked turtle: Yes. Do you have any questions?]

[Well, we're not serious yet, I'll just process through it and I'll shoot them your way when I have them. One girl at the station is also poly. So it's not as strange for me as you'd think.]

You couldn't tell over the text if he relaxed more or was still anxious so you switched the conversation to something lighter.

The next day you were bouncing a little checking the clock. Right on time, maybe even a few minutes early, Leo knocked on your window.

"Hi," you greeted him as he waited for you on the fire escapes.

"Hey." Leo smiled at you. "You look nice."

"Thanks!" You replied happily.

It was definitely a change of outfit for you. Nothing fancy, since you knew you were going to just grab Chinese but. And it was getting cold outside. So you picked your nicest sweater jacket and a long, light brown coat, jeans and pair of cute boots. To make it even nicer you added your favourite hoop earrings you normally couldn't wear.

"So how are we getting to the place, because I doubt we can take a walk or taxi?" You asked him, climbing through your window to him.

"You're right, we can't," he agreed. "You will experience the what we call Turtle Express." He offered you his hand and you took it looking at him curiously.

"Hope you're not too attached to your hairstyle," he added suddenly tightening the grip on your hand and pulling you against his chest.

"What?" Was all you managed to say before he jumped up.

Now you knew why it was called 'Turtle Express'. Leo was moving at what you perceived as almost the speed of light. You noticed you were yelling about halfway to your destination. You looked up at his face and there was just pure glee on it. Motherfucker. It looked good on him.

Finally, with a final jump down and a bit of a backflip (which you suspected he did totally on purpose) you two landed in front of a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown. Leo set you down gently to the ground, holding you until your legs stopped shaking.

"You're kind of an ass, you know that?" You said and he grinned.

"Sorry, couldn't help it."

You shook your head amused. You also looked around. "Uh, Leo? Aren't you worried-"

"Hi Mrs. Chang!" Leo called to an elderly woman selling old books, magazines and CDs at the store next to the restaurant.

"Leonardo!" She called back. "Come, come," she waved her thing hand at him. "You can help!"

"Is Kevin not around?" He asked concerned.

"His mother's sick. Good boy went to help her," she informed him. "Said he will be here alter but you're here! You will help this poor old woman."

Leo nodded along. "Sorry, this will take a second," he said.

"I'll help too," you said, curious about this whole situation. You followed behind him.

Mrs. Chang looked at you, her sharp eyes eyeing you from head to toes. "Who's this?" She grinned at Leo. He quickly grabbed crates from the front and started carrying them inside. Clearly, done it before.

"I'm Amelia, nice to meet you, ma'am." You introduced yourself. You followed behind Leo.

Between you two closing up the store went super quickly. You also got front seat to witness the strength of the turtle, when he would easily grab four or five crates like they weighted nothing. Show-off. It was still a nice show.

"Tell your father, he is going to lose mahjong this week!" Mrs Chang told Leo as they were finishing up. "I feel good fortune in my bones."

Leo snorted. "I will Mrs Chang."

The old woman pulled him down a little.

"I like this girl! She's nicer than that boy," she said that you were sure was supposed to be a whisper but came more of a stage whisper.

"Okay, Mrs Chang. I'll text Kevin he doesn't need to come to help you." He smiled and straightened up.

"Good bye Mrs Chang!" You called and the two of you headed for the restaurant. "So what's that all about?"

"Ah... well... I'll tell you once we're inside." He opened the door for you, leading you inside.

The air was heavy with the smells from the kitchen and the steam from the cooking dishes. It smelled deliscious. There were some guests in it and it seemed all of them knew Leo. And his father apparently.

You both sat down at a free table and soon a waitress joined you.

"Hey Leo, what can I get for you two?" She asked.

"Hi Mei. For start I'll take a beer." He looked at you to see your choice.

You looked at the menu. It was a big laminated page. And it was all in Chinese. "Uh."

Leo chuckled and fliped it over. There. English. "Oh thanks," you briefly scanned what they had. "Yeah beer is good for start," you smiled.

"Okay, I'll be right back." The girl left you to decide on food.

"So~" you slowly started, "not that I mind and all but how come you can be out in the open here?"

"Oh, uh, well," Leo chuckled awkwardly, "there was a lot of trouble here happening. So we would drop by often to deal with it and people started talking among each other. One day we got a call from one of the shopkeepers we saved before. We rushed in ready to do our thing but then... turns out everyone got together to throw a party in hour honor." He looked over in the direction of the kitchen with a fond look. "They told us we don't have to hide here. So we drop by every now and then. My dad comes here to play Mahjong."

You nodded, feeling warmed up inside. It gave you faith in humanity that people would accept Leo and his family.

Mei returned briefly to bring you drinks and take your food order. The conversation started flowing. Leo asked you about your work at the Firestation and you had couple laughs from the stories about your coworkers but also the calls you had. You watched him being excited about the new comic books he got into. It was so cute and charming to see his face lit up and some of the weight you saw him carry just fall off.

Plus the food was deliscious. There were no musicians but you had a bit of a Lady & the Trump moment when you wanted to try his food and he placed some of his potion on your plate without a hesitation.

There were people coming in the restaurant, most of them were greeting Leo and he was waving back. Some would approach your table and chat with him. He introduced you to everyone who approached and engaged you into the conversation.

You were having fun. More than you had in a long time. Finally, it was getting dark and it was time to get you home. Your eyebrows raised when he offered to pay for everything.

Leo cleared his throat. "You know how we from time to time cooperate with organized crime, yeah? It pays enough to take a pretty girl on a date some time," he explained, once the two of you left the restaurant.

"I didn't know there was a third person here," you teased. You smirked and looked around as if looking for that 'pretty girl'. He snorted and shook his head.

You two started walking slowly.

"You're uhm," he shifted on his feet awkwardly. "You're more than pretty. You're beautiful."

You felt your cheeks flushed. "Thank you, you're not too bad yourself," you said and bit your bottom lip, feeling shy all of a sudden. The way Leo looked at you then looked away with a small smile, told you you managed to fluster him a little too.

"SO!" You exclaimed to chase that away. "When are we going to do this again?"

Leo did a double take at you. "You want to-?" His eyes were so large. He barely believed you said that.

"Yes, very much so," you reassured him. "You can text me later, we'll arange something." You bumped into his shoulder. Then you slipped your hand into his and making him go speechless. "Any other fun activities for today?"

"I- w- huh, uhm, yes!" Briefly he had a trouble finding his tongue but eventually he got there, grinning widely.

Next you knew, you were scooped up from the ground. Maybe one day you were going to get used to the turtle express.

A few hours later you were back at your place. You were a little tipsy but also giddy from the date.

"Thank you Leo," you told him, sitting on the window sill. "I had a lot of time today."

"Yeah, me too." He was leaning a bit inside, holding the window panel up. "Thanks for giving me a chance."

"You're ridiculous, why wouldn't I?" You said and maybe on impulse you leaned closer and kissed him. His lips had fascinating texture. Strange, alien but familiar enough you wanted more. He leaned into you. His hand wrapped around your waist and your arms wrapped around his neck. You nudged his lips with your tongue and he let you in. The weight of his hands sparked fire inside you. It's been too long. He felt so solid against you.

You worked around strong guys and by no means were you a delicate woman. Still something in the way he held you made you feel so prescious.

You traced with your deft, blunt nails slipped under his mask, tracing down the back of his skull. The growl you caused made you snap back to reality.

It was dangerously becoming more heated than you planned. You pulled back, flushed, out of breath.

"Text when you get home." You whispered against his mouth. Regretfully pulling back.

"Yeah," he said, his lips stroking yours, not sure if he wanted to let you go just yet.

You smiled, your hand sliding down his arm. Leo reluctantly slipped back outside. Neither of you remembered how and when he came into your flat. You watched him stand there for a moment. You waved at each other. He inched to the edge of the railing. Just before he jumped down he looked over his shoulder. A soft smile on his face was matching yours. When he disappeared you closed the window.

You needed a really cold shower.

#leonardo x reader #leo x reader #leo x you #tmnt 2016 #bayverse turtles #tmnt bayverse #tmnt #eve scribbles #tmnt 2014 #tmnt fanfiction #named reader

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seeingteacupsindragons · 1 year

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This is such an extremely dumb detail to analyze but when I’m out of things to analyze this is what I do. I was always under the impression that Fred is like 15 (pre time skip). Like no more than 16, but then the characters birthdays came out and even though Fred doesn’t have one listed (still sketch to me) it has 18/19(?) as his supposed age which is kind of weird to me because it feels like he’s younger? Like people who talk about “this kid” being in that type of work and yeah he is young but if he is technically a legal adult why would people be surprised by the line of work he is in? Also it was probably just a comedic moment but I remember the whole bond situation and Moran being weirded out about bond changing with them and he comments “she has a bust .. Fred’s too young to see that.” Again, why would Moran think an 18/19 yr old is too young to see nudity? I know all this pretty much amounts to “it’s not that deep bro” but these are the things that plague me.

So, I think you've gotten a little caught up here in your assumptions having led you very astray from canon:

I cannot remember a single time anyone referred to Fred as a kid or were surprised someone his age was in his line of work. I'm not going through 20 volumes of material at 2am to check, but if it does happen once or twice, it's fairly inconsequential and from someone who doesn't know Fred well.

Moran never, ever says that Fred is too young to see nudity. This one I did check because it was easy to find that scene, and Moran actually just says that Fred didn't want Bond in the changing room either (and Fred was unimpressed and unamused by being dragged into Moran's brief foray into transphobia). The English translated this one a little funny, but he didn’t actually comment on Fred’s age directly in Japanese.

My assumption that his age comes with a question mark and a lack of birthday is because he doesn't know exactly when he was born. While birth certificates and records were quite common in the time period, I think it's a massive assumption to assume everyone knew the exact details of their birth, especially someone like Fred who seems to have come from poorer origins.

But the actual reason I'm answering this right now is actually this one specific detail: Fred, at 18 or 19, is not a legal adult. Not in Victorian England (where the age of majority was 21) or in modern day Japan where he's being written (the age of majority in Japan is currently 20).

So, he's the youngest on the team by a few years, and, yes, he's actually the only minor in the on the team.

But I think he comes across as "younger" than the others because he's initially less entrenched and more in doubt of things, and he's much more openly kind and hopeful than the others. He doesn't have the same angry jadedness. And even in Baskervilles, his warm heart is compared to William's own. He is the one with the same love and idealism as our disaster boy. So that probably contributes a lot to the impression.

So anyway, I think this is a reminder that fanon is fun and gut instincts make sense, but sometimes it's important to double check canon before getting too caught up in something not making any sense, 'cause sometimes we forget or misremember things. I know I have, and sometimes when I'm writing longer meta, I've got to double check myself because my memory is good but not infallible.

#Yuukoku no Moriarty #Moriarty the Patriot

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code-es · 1 year

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Codeblr tag game - realization

@a-fox-studies thank you for tagging me in this!!

At what point in your life did you decide that the world of computers was the one for you?

Heh this is a long one... So read if u want to know some code-es lore :p

But tldr: My dad was a software/computer engineer and his dedication and working spirit is my biggest inspiration, but programming was never a passion of mine - languages were my big thing. This was until I took a programming course and realized that programming is just like learning languages, but with rules that actually apply.

I want to tag: @xiacodes @web-dev-with-bea @compooter-blob @alica-tech @lazar-codes @zoeythebee @cloudycodes @04kid

Programming was always around me when i was younger. My father was a software systems engineer, so when i was a kid i would see him work on matrix looking code, and sometimes he'd even let me press buttons!

But i wasn't really interested in learning anything about computers... I was instead interested in art and especially languages, which was my biggest interest and passion. Then my dad passed away, and following that I'd get more and more interested in programming during my teens, partly to honor him and my family, because on my dad's side almost everyone's a software engineer. I also had an email friend I met on omegle when i was 14-15, and he was 30 something, which... now that i think of it, it was probably pretty a little weird that he wanted to be my friend... but anyways, he was a software engineer and explained what coding/programming was and following that I made my first webpage using only HTML and CSS, in my notepad hahaha!!

But... I didn't do much after that, until I was in my second last year of high school. I signed up to take a programming course for my next and final year. I've always been curious, and wanted all the knowledge I could get, so when a programming course was offered I had to take it! But it was just another small drop in my big lake of interests.

I don't think I realized that computers and programming was what I wanted to do until I visited my family in Mexico 2 years ago, weeks before starting that programming course. For some reason I always saw programming and computers as something out of my reach - i couldn't possibly learn this. However, to prove me wrong, my cousin, who studied software development at the time, showed me his projects, and what he was doing. And, I realized that omg - I could also be doing this? It's within reach!

And then I started learning python in school and I was kind of discouraged, it was so difficult! Most people had previous experience, and seeing what they could already do I felt overwhelmed, thinking I should also be doing that. But I kept coming back to the thought that this is just like learning a language: if I just expose myself to more and more content it will start making sense, and sooner or later I'll be able to form my own sentences and the computer will listen to me.

I've always loved the logic of languages, how the syntax is built, and how verbs are conjugated in accordance to gender, numerus and time in different languages. But... there are always exepctions and irregularities you just have to learn. However, programming is all logic, everything has an explanation, even the seemingly inexplicable concepts. There is always a solution, and my creativity is the limit, and that is what keeps me going.

And then! I was looking at university educations to apply for, when on a whim I found out about my current school, checked what courses they offer and saw something about frontend development. I read the description, and realized that oh my god - this is my type of programming! I get to do design and art AND code? And since studying here, I have realized that, yeah, this is exactly my field, and I love computers and I just want to learn more and more and more, always, and there are so many rabbit holes to fall into within programming.

During my time in school, I would envision myself working with something static in the future; like just going to uni, learning a job, and then doing it. Then, I remember being on studyblr, and seeing the quote "now is the only time in your life when your full time job is to learn" and I took it to heart, and that is what kept me motivated - I thought, what a privilege to just learn for a living. And that is exactly what working with software will be (:

My biggest weakness is finishing writing shit lol, my feedback in on essays was always: ok great, but dont have 3 different points where we think its gonna end but we're met with yet another finishing paragraph. So I'll just end it quickly here, thank you for reading!

#programming #studyinspo #studyblr #studying #tag game #codeblr #coding #programmer #girl coder #python #css #html #long post #code-es #academia #computer science #compsci #computers

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wellpresseddaisy · 7 months

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The Poshest Bedstead in Islington part 15

Dominic Agnew stood shoulder to shoulder with Adelaide Kershaw in the entry hall and basked in their shared moment of triumph. The sun barely glimmered over the horizon, lightening the early morning gloom just enough. The summer morning dawned chilly and damp, with rain promised later, but inside fires crackled in each grate. The entry tiles positively gleamed from everyone’s hard work yesterday and a soft strain of beeswax furniture polish floated under the scent of flowers from the garden. Not that anything hadn’t been clean before, but Gordon had a way with scrubbing tiles that even Kreacher approved.

Welcoming Molly Weasley into the house was enough to give any Housekeeper the yips. They’d done a thorough cleaning last night, from the sub-basement up to the attics, in part to tamp down on their own nerves and in part to introduce themselves to Black House. Coming in as new staff when she’d got used to only having Kreacher tending her needed a delicate touch. She needed to know their magic and their intentions, and so they set to work.

He thought, perhaps, that the grand old girl liked having them about. Old houses, magical ones especially, had their quirks and personalities that one simply worked with or around. Dominic didn’t think she’d give them trouble so long as they respected her. All of them were so up in alt over being chosen that he wasn’t sure they’d particularly notice.

He’d positively longed to try his hand at being Housekeeper, and now he could. Adelaide, he knew, would excel as Butler. He’d never yet met anyone who could match her breadth and depth of knowledge regarding wine and the care of silver services.

He surveyed the footmen and housemaids lined up before the pair of them and took a deep breath as Adelaide began.

“In one hour, we will begin welcoming our house guests. They will be staying for as long as is needed, given the distressing threats laid against them. We are asked to give no indication that they are here for the present moment. Not one word of gossip will pass out of this house. Am I understood?” Adelaide spoke severely.

The group of them gave a general murmur of assent.

“In the beginning, as a reminder, His Grace will neither entertain nor be at home to visitors. We know that his innocence should be announced in the next few weeks. Kreacher will let us know when this is announced and if His Grace will be at home. His Lordship will, with any luck, be able to join the household at that time.” Adelaide continued. “Jefferson, Danvers, and Bailey—has the heavy luggage been brought up?”

“Yes, ma’am. We saw to it earlier this morning. We’re set to go with Kreacher to bring the guests here in an hour.” Jefferson, the first footman, stepped forward and answered smartly.

“Good work.” Adeliade nodded at them.

“And the bedrooms are all made up?” Dominic asked, even though he’d checked not fifteen minutes before.

“We’re ready for everyone, Mr. Kershaw.” Maud answered, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Miss Daley wished me to tell you that she’s ready to receive the young ladies. Mr. Douglas will wait upon the young gentlemen and Miss Cooper is ready for Mrs. Weasley.”

“Thank you, Maud.” Not even a week ago they’d both been senior housemaids. He hoped she didn’t take his promotion amiss.

“Cook will send an early tea up to the Morning room once our guests are settled,” he continued. “I know we’ll all do excellent work here. His Grace noticed your efforts last night and sends along his sincere thanks. If you have any trouble, you may come to me. Many of our younger guests aren’t used to being waited upon and have spent the last few years mostly at school. Any trouble from that quarter should be brought to Kreacher.”

One of the footmen—Katherine Bailey, Dominic’s brain supplied—raised her hand.

“Yes, Bailey?” Adelaide prompted.

“It’s probably not my place, Mrs. Kershaw, but I grew up not far from the Weasleys. Does anyone else think this is a thinly veiled attempt to keep His Grace distracted and entertained until His Lordship can come home?”

Dominic saw Adelaide twitch out of the corner of his eye and bit the inside of his cheek. Good old Bailey, always noticing things.

“You always do make connections quickly, Bailey.” Adelaide sounded a bit strained.

“Sorry, Mrs. Kershaw. It’s just that they’re a guardian family and the Burrow is protected as anything.” Bailey shifted under Adelaide’s steady gaze.

“Whatever the reasons, we’ll be on our guard, won’t we?”

That got a firm yes from all gathered.

“Right. Well, off we trot to face the day and make Mrs. Harris proud.” Dominic winced at how that sounded but shooed everyone off to their work.

He’d have to work on not sounding like a giant tit.

----------------------------

The gray, mizzley day couldn’t put a damper on Sirius’ high spirits. Nor could the heavy over robe Kreacher and Halloway insisted on, or the Bath chair Kreacher unearthed from somewhere ‘So His Grace can be comfortable while guests arrive’. Despite his continued convalescence, he would (privately) not mind sitting while waiting. His balance hadn’t quite recovered yet, and he had misgivings about all the stairs down into the garden.

Guests. The very word sent a thrill through him. He hadn’t realized just how much he missed other people about the place until Albus suggested the Weasleys come to stay a while. As much as he hated thinking of the threats leveled against them (against Ginny and Ronald especially), he rather hoped they’d stay a good long while. If anyone deserved some rest it was Molly and Arthur. They worked hell’s own hours, no matter what Molly made it look like to the children.

Having young people around would be fun, too. He’d liked Hermione and Ronald when he met them, and he expected that Ginny would be interesting at the very least. One did not mix Weasley and Prewett blood and expect a mealy-mouthed miss. They weren’t Harry, but taking them through the attics to select furniture and clothes would still be great fun.

He felt a bit silly sitting on the terrace under a pavilion, but it was the only way he could get Kreacher and Halloway to agree to him waiting outside. Honestly, if he’d realized what complete autocrats servants trained under Mrs. Harris were, he’d have risked arrest and gone to an agency instead.

“Halloway, if you try to tuck another rug over my knees or about my shoulders, I will turn into a dog and bite you,” Sirius snapped, waving off his anxious valet.

“As you wish, your Grace,” Halloway sniffed. “It would be a shame if Kreacher found you’d caught cold, of course.”

“You have been in my employ for…how long were you at Buckingham House?” Sirius interrupted himself.

“Five years this August, your grace.” Halloway took advantage of his momentary distraction to drop the disputed rug over his knees.

“In any case you’ve been in my particular employ for less than twenty-four hours and you’re invoking Kreacher? For shame, man.”

“Kreacher was exceedingly specific, your grace, as to his expectations of me. I shan’t fail him.”

“Do my own expectations get a look in?”

“Er, no, your grace. Kreacher doesn’t believe they should. He began muttering about trousers and music hall abominations when I asked.”

“We are going to have a chat about that as soon as I feel up to it,” Sirius declared. “We’re all in thrall to Kreacher, aren’t we?”

“I believe we all know that listening to Nanny is in our best interest.”

The first pop of apparition distracted them both. Bailey appeared with Hermione on one arm and Ginny on the other.

“Miss Hermione Granger and Miss Ginevra Weasley, your grace,” Bailey announced and popped out again.

The girls walked up the terrace steps together, stopping just under the pavilion.

“Welcome, both of you,” Sirius began. “Miss Granger, do you accept the protection and sponsorship of my House?”

He held a hand out to her and she did as they practiced with her parents, clasping his hand for a moment and then sliding her hand up to clasp his wrist.

“With the consent of my parents, I do accept,” Hermione answered in a clear, ringing voice.

Their magic surged in response to the oath, hers a sparking lavender and his Family Magic a slinking silver. Tendrils twined together, reminding him of little more than two cats meeting for the first time. Acceptance thrilled through him, the Black magic well pleased to offer shelter to such a magical. Slowly, their magic receded, Hermione’s now bearing the gossamer sheen of the Black Family. She loosed his wrist and stepped back.

“That was…my magic?” She breathed, eyes wide. “I’ve never seen…it’s beautiful.”

“It is, Miss Granger. Welcome to the protection of my House. We shall be well pleased to sponsor you.”

“Thank you, your grace. It is an honor to be given the protection and sponsorship of such a House as this. I only hope I shall bring honor to it.”

“For now, Miss Granger, Mr. Black will do. We’ll work out a compromise acceptable to all parties in the very near future. You’re all so dear to Harry that…well, we won’t say anything more about that for the moment. Sit and be comfortable. Halloway has quite a knack for warming charms.” Sirius unholstered his wand and conjured two chairs.

“Thank you, Mr. Black. I think it was Ron next, and then Fred and George. Mum’s still insisting she can apparate herself,” Ginny explained as she made herself comfortable. “Bailey, I think, is going to win in the end.”

Hermione shook herself out of a reverie and sat as well. “How…are you well?”

Sirius took in the worry in her eyes and the way she bit at her lip and sighed internally. Another one taking on too much responsibility, too many adult worries. Hermione should have thoughts only for her coming OWL year and whatever else the Hermiones of the world enjoyed, not his health and how it would affect Harry and all of it.

“I will be perfectly well soon,” he reassured her. “We’re being extremely cautious at the moment, but in a few more weeks I may not need even a walking stick. The chair is so I don’t have to try all the steps to get back here.”

Hermione nodded and relaxed fractionally. “I’m sure it’s a lovely garden.”

Ginny snorted and Sirius honestly agreed with her.

“We haven’t done much out here. We wanted to wait for your mother, Miss Weasley. She seems to think taming a pleasure garden is great fun.”

“So that’s why she’s had all the gardening catalogs and books out. It is fun for her, though. Mum mostly plans working gardens and things like that at home. Mucking about with flowers and decorative borders and all that will be fun for her.”

Just then, Jefferson and Ron apparated in, Ron looking a bit green.

“Mr. Ronald Weasley,” Jefferson announced before he apparated out.

“Er, thanks,” Ron told thin air.

“Be welcome, Mr. Weasley,” Sirius called to him. “Come up and get out of that drizzle.”

“Nasty sort of a day,” Ron remarked once he made the top of the stairs. “We got caught in a filthy downpour in Brighton. Jefferson’s first rate with drying charms.”

“There are fires and near endless hot water inside,” Sirius assured him, enlarging Hermione’s chair to fit two. “I don’t know what they did to the boiler, but I don’t think it’s ever worked better.”

“Do you think they’d mind if I asked? Only Dad’s been muttering about ours since Fred and George discovered that they really liked scalding showers.”

“Could I listen in? I don’t know anything about magical home repair or appliances,” Hermione added hopefully.

“We’ll have to ask Kreacher. Which…Kreacher, they’re here.” Usually he would say ‘the children are here’, but with three above the age of thirteen, one didn’t wish to insult them.

Kreacher entered with a pop, looking delighted.

“Excellent, your grace. Kreacher will take you up to the…schoolroom floor so you may rest and tidy before an early tea. Mr. Ronald, Kreacher heard about the dousing in Brighton. A bath is waiting.”

The three young people found themselves chivvied toward the terrace entrance to the house, not one of them quite knowing how they got there. Ron and Ginny, at least, had some idea of exactly who Kreacher was in the grand scheme of this sort of family.

“Don’t you want company, Mr. Black?” Hermione asked, turning back.

“Miss Hermione will come with Kreacher.”

Sirius pressed his lips together a moment before he answered.

“Best go in with Kreacher, Miss Granger. Mr. Weasley will clue you in. It’s best, though, if we all listen to Nanny.”

#hp society/the ton #hp the season au #hp the season/the ton au #the poshest bedstead in islington #Sirius black #the servant problem aka they're a bunch of autocratic arseholes ruling your house with an iron will #but they're nice people really

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