#and she made something which i found really resonant and interesting

[thedreadvampy]

btw about Neil Gaiman I periodically agree with the 'Neil Gaiman is annoying' stuff bc I feel like both he and Amanda Palmer seem like people who I would go insane stuck in a room with bc we have very different ideas about art and suchlike. and I also do think that the career trajectory he's on lately is cynically redoing his greatest hits and pretending that was the dream all along when it clearly was not. which is at best meh.

having said which

as far as I can tell by far the most common complaint about Neil Gaiman is "Snow, Glass, Apples is problematic/gross/it's got incest and rape and frames the child as the aggressor"

which strikes me as a weird complaint to pull out of a 40 year body of work tbh when that short story is pretty clearly coming from a place of 'how far can I push this'. like you don't have to like the story. I don't really like the story. but it is. a horror story.

like and this is the thing with particularly 90s alt horror right? a lot of the interest is in transgression and sitting in the worst possible perspective and seeing what happens if you pull those strings. like I really like Clive Barker for example but there's a good chunk of his short stories that I'm like I'm not picking up what you're putting down Clive this seems Kinda Off. but that willingness to write some trite or Bad Message horror fiction that doesn't land is imo a side effect of being willing to try writing uncomfortable and unpleasant fiction at all. which is what horror is for, among other things, it's for creating discomfort as a form of catharsis or engagement.

like I am not a huge fan of the type of sex-horror that pops up in a lot of Gaiman's work and other contemporary horror writers - to me I don't find it upsetting or horny it just ends up feeling kind of edgy and tryhard - but I'm also a bit like. it does seem like a lot of people's beef with Neil Gaiman is that In The 90s He Was A Horror Writer

and this approach to Problematic Horror in Snow, Glass, Apples I find kind of microcosmic of how The Discourse often approaches art in this kind of 1:1 way. if you write a story which seems to line up with rape apologia it can only be because you agree with it. if you write a story about transphobia you're a transphobe. if you write a story that makes me genuinely uncomfortable you're attacking me.

but artwork, especially art like horror that's not necessarily trying to provoke enjoyment as its main response, is necessarily hit and miss. and if what you're shooting for is discomfort then whether it works, falls flat or goes too far incredibly depends on your audience. and making good art - as in art that makes its audience think, art that opens the audience up to discomfort and catharsis and sticks with them and changes them - requires the space to experiment and tbh the space to fuck up. like they aren't all going to be winners and they certainly aren't all going to work for you as a singular audience.

personally I don't see the appeal of Snow, Glass, Apples, less cause it's nasty and more cause it's hack. ooh an edgy monstrous version of a fairy tale where there's lots of rape and cannibalism? you're soooo original Neil. but like. that's fine. I don't really vibe with like 70% of Neil Gaiman stuff I've read but I still like Neil Gaiman because the stuff that works for me really works for me.

idk I think there's a lot of folk on this website who shouldn't interact with horror cause they clearly aren't interested in being horrified. that's not everyone who dislikes Snow, Glass, Apples, but it's a real undercurrent to a lot of the criticism and tbh this kinda vibe is shit for art. making standout art What Is Good also requires being ready to make art which stands out for the wrong reasons. sometimes they'll be the same art to different people.

#red said #not to Cancel Culture this but isabelle fall springs to mind in a lot of how folks talk about stuff like this #like she wrote a transgressive piece exploring her own negative feelings about transness and her anger around a transphobic trope #and she made something which i found really resonant and interesting #and she got torn apart for it because it Might From Some Angles Agree With Transphobia #and I'm not making a direct comparison. because i think attack helicopter is a really GOOD story and i think SGA is gratuitous and hack #but that's the thing right? transgression and discomfort and speaking about unpleasant things in an openended way are KEY #to making art that engages directly with your own pains and angers and discomforts #and that's hard to mediate tbh. but it's also very necessary. #i think as well thinking about Gaiman this is also a thought I've often had about Amanda Palmer #who over the years has written a lot of songs about things i find genuinely uncomfortable or offensive. #and i can engage with 'it's fucked up to tell your ex they transed their gender At You' or 'your partner's suicide is not about you' bc yeah #but #you can't celebrate someone for making confessional music then get mad because you don't like everything they confess #if you only take about your socially acceptable thoughts it's not really confessional is it? #if you only talk about discomforting things that people are comfortable hearing about its not really discomforting #and you can only really discern what's Good Transgressive and what's Damaging Transgressive through doing i think #so if you want challenging art you are going to have to get some art which challenges you and you go hmm no i still disagree #is what i think #so yeah you can hate the artwork but when an artist is specifically setting out to make challenging art it's weird to hate them #for making 50 pieces of art you like and 1 you hate

[queenshelby]

An Illicit Affair

Part One: My Boyfriend's Father

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (46) x Reader (23)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

It was 15 months ago when you first met the man who, unbeknownst to you, would eventually become the center of your disastrous life and that man was not your current boyfriend Maximilian Murphy, a twenty-two-year-old Irishman from Dublin.

You had been going out with Max for about a year when you met the man who changed everything for you and, whilst Max was almost an entire year younger than you, you had both met at London's top medical school after he had transferred from Trinity College. 

Max was energetic, confident and intelligent. He was popular with the girls and, although you were drawn to him because of his sense of humor and easygoing nature, it was quite obvious to you that he was much less serious about life in general than you were. 

After a year of non-serious dating, Max eventually told you that he was taking you to Dublin for his father's 46th birthday and it was then when you first laid eyes on him. Cillian Murphy, your boyfriend's father. 

The name "Cillian Murphy" didn't ring any bells for you at the time as you had never seen any of his films, but now, 15 months later, you knew everything that there was to know about him due to the publicity his movie Oppenheimer had received in recent weeks. 

You went to see the movie too with some friends and whilst you had broken up with Max about a year earlier, you happened to recall the weekend you shared with him and his family in Dublin. 

Both Cillian and his wife Danielle made you feel welcome when you arrived with their son Max late on a Friday afternoon at their large Victorian townhouse near the coast, just outside Dublin.

The house was decorated with tasteful modern furniture and a collection of modern art hung on the walls. The living room featured large windows overlooking the sea with heavy curtains blocking the view when needed.

You spent most of Saturday relaxing by the pool with Max, swimming and sunbathing before enjoying a dinner prepared by Danielle for her husband's birthday.

As you sat down at the table, Cillian seemed distracted, and it wasn't until the second glass of wine that he asked you more about yourself and your aspirations.

"So, what do you want to specialize in?" he asked and you looked down at your plate and replied softly, "I haven't decided yet. I think I might enjoy working in pediatrics."

"Working with children can be emotionally demanding," Cillian said, "but I am sure it's  incredibly rewarding," he then went on to say before acknowledging that Max had told him that you were at the top of your class. 

"It sounds like you have a bright future ahead of you," he told you and your heart fluttered a bit as you heard his voice, deep and resonant, filled with warmth and confidence. It was a contrast to Max's playful teasing, something about which made you feel comfortable and safe.

Danielle, Cillian's wife, chimed in with a question for you, "What got you interested in medicine in the first place?" she asked. You paused for a moment, considering how best to explain such a complex answer.

"Well, my dad was a doctor, so healthcare was a part of our household growing up," you began thoughtfully. "But the real turning point came during high school when I visited a friend who was hospitalized with leukemia. Her doctors and nurses took such great care of her, and it really opened my eyes to the impact that medicine could have on people's lives."

Cillian nodded along, seemingly genuinely interested in your response.

"That's amazing," he murmured. "You are genuinely empathetic and that's a good trait to have, especially as a doctor," he went on to say with a smile and you couldn't help but blush slightly under his intense gaze. His piercing blue eyes seemed to look right through you, making you feel vulnerable in a way you hadn't felt before. But instead of feeling uncomfortable, you found yourself strangely drawn to him. There was something magnetic about him, something that made you want to spend more time with him despite the fact that he was twice your age.

The day after his birthday party, while you were lounging around the poolside, you couldn't help but notice Cillian looking at you intently from across the lawn. His eyes held a mysterious glint, a curiosity that seemed to grow stronger every minute.

As if sensing your presence, he approached you and started a friendly conversation. The topics ranged from movies to books, and even personal interests. It was a pleasant surprise finding out that both of you shared a love for Jazz before Max pointed out to you that Jazz music was for "old people", causing Cillian to laugh.

The sound of Cillian's laughter was soothing and comforting.

You felt butterflies in your stomach as adrenaline surged through your veins. You tried to compose yourself, focusing on the casual exchange of small talk, hoping to distract yourself from the strong attraction you felt towards your own boyfriend's father.

But no matter how hard you tried, those enchanting blue eyes kept drawing you back in. The subtle smell of his cologne lingered in the air, filling your senses with a mix of excitement and shame.

Luckily for you however, on Sunday morning, Max and you travelled back to London, leaving behind the memory of the lingering gaze that Cillian gave you as you boarded the plane while, in hindsight, you realized that Cillian's gaze did leave something behind - a seed planted between the lines of your otherwise innocent encounter.

In the months that followed, you found yourself thinking about Cillian more often than you expected and, unfortunately for Max, at the same time as fantasizing about his father, you became more and more annoyed by his immaturities. 

And then, one evening, after another argument between you and Max over whether you should go clubbing or stay in and study, you finally snapped.

"This isn't working out anymore, Max," you told it him straight. "We need different things in life and we would be better off breaking up now rather than prolonging something that won't work long term," you told Max, sitting on the bed of his dorm room, causing his chin to drop.

"You don't mean it," he said, sounding shocked.

"Yes, I do," you said firmly as you looked away from him, knowing that he wouldn't understand why you couldn't go on like this.

"No, please, give me another chance. We can make this work," Max pleaded, moving closer to you, reaching out to touch your arm.

"No, Max, I've made up my mind," you said firmly, avoiding his pleading eyes.

You knew that it was only a matter of time before Max would come to terms with the truth, but you also knew that the process would be painful for both of you.

Max moved closer, grasping your hand gently. "Maybe we just need to communicate better," he suggested, his eyes full of hope. "I love you, you know. I am happy to try anything," he continued but you shook your head.

You pulled your hand away, fighting back tears. "I just... I can't anymore, Max," you whispered quietly. "We tried to make it work several times, but our expectations are quite different. I am taking university serious, but you are not. You have different interests and I think that you would be better of with someone else," you confessed, averting your gaze.

"But... but, what about the future? What about us?" Max stammered, desperation seeping into his tone. You remained silent, allowing the silence to hang heavily between you two. Finally, you took a deep breath.

"I don't want to lose you, Y/N," Max pleaded, his voice quivering. "We have been together for a year, surely we can find a way to make it work. I promise."

You shook your head sadly, unable to meet his desperate gaze.

"We are both still young and year is nothing if you are in your early twenties. I'm sorry, Max," you managed to whisper, swallowing the lump in your throat. "I think it's best if we end things here."

He let out a choked sob, his face crumpling. "Please," he implored, clutching onto your wrist. "Don't leave me like this."

But you couldn't stand it any longer, pulling your arm free. "I need space, Max," you said sharply, rising to your feet.

"I need to focus on myself and my studies right now," you told him while, deep down inside, you knew that something was missing, something was holding you back from fully committing to your relationship.

And it wasn't long before fate intervened as, just over year after your breakup with Max, you ran into Cillian again at a jazz concert in London...

Tags:

@sunbeamseas @saint-ackerman @oatmealisweird @naxxsstuff @amanda08319 @r-m-cidnah @elysiannook @cillshot @infireddabdab @tastycakee @harrysbestiee @lilybabe22 @adalynlowell @henrywintersdearestgirl @ietss @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @ryiamarie @axionn

@heidimoreton @nela-cutie @futurecorps3 @delishen @nosebleeds-247 @thirteenis-myluckynumber @gills-lounge @hjmalmed @lost-fantasy @tiredkitten @sidechrisporn @smallsoulunknown @charqing-qing @hopefulinlove @aporiasposts @shycrybaby @me-and-your-husband @hjmalmed @lacontroller1991 @galxydefender @aporiasposts

@galxydefender @hunnibearrr @saint-ackerman @lunyyx @gentlemonsterjennie1 @ihavealotoffandomssorry @nadloves @lost-fantasy @nolucesn@mcavoy-girl @hjmalmed @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @blushykiss @tatumrileyslover @teawithsatanx @orijanko @rhaenyra4ever @xcinnamonmalfoyx @budugu @nadloves @kmc1989 @bloodybagels @obeyme4life @richiesgroupie @forgottenpeakywriter

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy x y/n #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy fanfiction

[ludoka]

On Sunday I watched the movie "The Dragon Pearl" with my mom and it has this scene where they open a secret passage with light reflected on a gem:

Which reminded me that in The Avatar: the Last Airbender the firebenders and sun warriors use a similar mechanism:

So I was thinking... What if Pandora was a key?

Let's imagine that the original legend spoke of a powerful Wizard who amazed people with his magic. He also helped people with it. There were thousands of rumors about said Wizard, but the one that resonated the most was that of his eternal youth. The man always looked young for his age, which led people to believe that he was immortal. Many, guided by these theories, turned to him in search of eternal youth. The Wizard always refused to tell his secret, until the people's insistence made him give in. He told them that it was thanks to magical waters. Thus, the magician allowed only a select group of people to have access to those waters. This caused quite a stir. Many people begged and demanded that the Wizard allow them free access to the waters. Some even went so far as to commit violent acts in order to scare and extort the Wizard. These damning acts provoked his anger. It is said that using his magic, he enclosed the power of the waters in a gem and hid it from the world. This did nothing to stop people. But rather the opposite. They called him selfish and persecuted him to reveal the location of the gem. He never told them. And to teach them a lesson, he cursed all the citizens and then disappeared. He never told anyone about the gem that was named Pandora. So it was lost, forever.

This is a fantastic story created from rumors, misunderstandings, superstitions and ignorance.

The real story is that the "Great Wizard" was actually an inventor who scammed people by pretending to do real magic.

The "magic waters" are actually hot springs. The guy found a couple of ponds hidden in a cave and kept the secret to himself. Just because he liked to enjoy them in his privacy.

When rumors started and people started asking, he decided to take advantage of this situation. He invented the story of magic water and allowed only people who paid him a lot to enter the cave. Some of these people were not trustworthy and began to lead others into the waters. They also scammed people to get them there. When the inventor realized this, he decided to hide the place.

He sealed the cave with an intricate lock that could only be found with a gem.

When people found out about all this they began to harass the Inventor. Out of spite, the man hid the gem and left.

Pandora has two functions:

First: It works as a map. Inside it has an old map that indicates the place where the hot springs are. This map is only seen when you put the gem in the light.

The second: It works as a key. The gem has to be placed in a specific place and must be illuminated with the light of the Moon. The reflection of light touches the lock and opens it.

Magic may exist in the world of MK. But the greatest attraction, in my opinion, that manga has is the ingenuity and the artifacts they use to create the illusions. So I like that Pandora follows this resource. It's fun and interesting.

It is also interesting to imagine how they find the gem. Maybe Kaito asks Akako (in a way that tries to be subtle but fails miserably) if she has ever heard of said gem. She would tell him no, she knows of the existence of many other magical gadgets that can work in a similar way but she has never heard of Pandora. Which would make sense, since Pandora is not a magical item. It's a scientific invention (or something like that). So the Witches never heard of her.

I am in favor of Hakuba being the one who finds out about the real existence of the gem or knows its location. Only he doesn't know his real function. How, his family owns this really ancient gem that has a very fanciful legend. But he notices the details about the moon and the light in the gem and questions if that's not what KID is looking for. Which begs the question "Why would Kuroba want that specific gem?" "Did he really believe in the magic he supposedly possesses?" "Or is there something else you're not seeing?" All of these questions end up with him keeping an eye on Kaito and trying to discern why that gem. Which bothers Kaito because he feels their gazes even more insistent and annoying.

I don't know, it's fun.

#dcmk #magic kaito #magic kaito 1412 #kaitou kid #kaito kid #kaito kuroba #akako koizumi #hakuba saguru

[sabo-has-my-heart]

I Found You Again

3. Spoiler alert! Chapter 1044/Episode 1071 Spoilers!!!!!!

"Nika!Luffy and fem!reader where reader is the moon goddess. In the legends, the moon goddess and the sun god Nika were lovers that seperated to help humanity. Before Luffy is awakened, he feels a strange bond toward reader and so does she. Reader always loves being by his side, even in battle, which leads to her joing the crew. After the battle with Kaidou, Luffy was seriously injured. However, Luffy's awakening also trigger reader's awakening. Reader turns into goddess form that helps healing Luffy. Seeing reader in that form, Luffy laughs and pulls her in for a kiss, saying that he now knows why he is attracted to her, she was his, all this time. Reader, crying as now finally reunited with him, returns his kiss."

Warnings: Chapter 1044/Episode 1071 Spoilers!!!!

Word Count: 1180

     Nika gave his beloved a smile, though his eyes were brimming with tears. He really didn’t want to separate, much less like this.

     “I love you Nika and I know we’ll find each other again. One as untamable and restless as you? I have no doubt you’ll look for me. Just be careful. The humans are more fragile than we are.” the goddess said, giving her white haired lover a kiss.

     “I love you too G/n, I promise I’ll find you. You’re the only one who I would be willing to be chained by and the one I trust most not to do so. Don’t worry, I’ll be careful. Besides, we’ll be making them strong, then they won’t be as fragile.” Nika gave her his usual sunny smile, followed by his little ‘shishishi’ laugh that always made her smile. She gave him one last kiss, before touching her forehead to his as they disappeared, heading to the earth below.

     He’d always felt close to you, from the moment he saw you, he felt something for you. Granted, he didn’t know what he felt for you, only that it was something. Almost immediately, he’d asked you to join his crew. No reason given, just ‘join my crew!’. The others hadn’t been sure what to make of it. Most of them had joined for a reason, but you weren’t a navigator, a sniper, a first mate, a cook, or a musician. You weren’t an archaeologist, a shipwright, or a doctor. You were a devil fruit user on an island they stopped by. Okay, sure, you wanted to go out to sea, you said you were searching for… something. You’d told them it was a meaning, a purpose to your life, but you still weren’t like the others. Sure, you were strong, and yeah, you could fight, but Luffy hadn’t even known that in the beginning. Just, ‘join my crew’. Of course Luffy loved being around you constantly once you’d joined. Whether it was playing games on the deck, talking about beetles or something one of you found interesting, sitting next to you during meals, or even just laying on the grass together in silence. Where one was, the other could be found. Fights were much the same unless Luffy was fighting a particularly difficult opponent, you were by his side and had each other’s backs. That being said, he always made sure your safety was a priority. Meaning if he thought the fight would be too much for you, he got you out of harm's way.

     Looking up at the top of the skull that made up Onigashima, you couldn’t help the horror that filled you. Luffy… you couldn’t hear him anymore. Couldn’t hear his heart. Tears ran down your cheeks, your beloved was gone. You didn’t even notice the sudden pounding that resonated throughout your body. He couldn’t be gone, yet there was nothing coming from the rooftop. Another pulse ran through your body as your eyes changed color. Even in your pain induced trance, you noticed the strange pulsing that resonated throughout your body. Not that you cared, not until the sound of drums reached your ears. Your hair began to float slightly as it lengthened, turning a silvery white like the moon. The drums seemed to pick up in beat and volume as you smiled. Somehow, he wasn’t dead, ignoring Kaido, you shot up to the roof, your new found powers sending you flying through the air as you smiled, landing beside a rather different Luffy. His hair and clothes were white and though he was still wounded, he smiled at you. Placing a hand on his cheek, you smiled. Your touch was cool but pleasant as his wounds stitched themselves closed, his smile widening. As soon as he was healed enough to move, he was tackling you and pulling you into a kiss.

     “Shishishi, I found you, G/n! Told you I would!” Luffy said with a wide grin, though he wasn’t entirely certain as to what he was saying. Your name was Y/n, not G/n and he’d never promised to find you to the best of his knowledge, but the words left his mouth before he could think about them, not that he would have anyway.

     “I suppose you did. Now if only I could convince you to be careful for once!” you teased, taking his face in your hands. Luffy could only give you his signature little laugh as he smiled at you.

     “I was careful, promise! Besides, you’re here so now I’ll always be okay! You always make me feel better!” he said, pulling you into an embrace. His eyes suddenly widened as he pulled away, remembering what was happening below, “Oh! I forgot about Kaido! Hang on! I need to finish my fight!” he said excitedly, making you laugh.

     “You are absolutely not doing this without me this time!” you said as Luffy reached down to grab Kaido. Though Luffy’s sudden transformation seemed to surprise the others, you found yourself oddly unphased by his new look and abilities as you stayed on the roof with him. You wouldn’t jump in unless he needed it, Nika had never needed your aid before. Your brow furrowed as you shook your head. Luffy, Luffy had never needed your help in a fight before. Where had Nika come from? The ‘fight’ didn’t take long, Luffy easily defeating Kaido before stretching his arms and pulling you close again, giving you that same sunny smile he always gave you.

     The both of you seemed to return to ‘normal’ as you stood atop Onigashima together, though it was clear Luffy was feeling rather drained.

     “Rest, my sunlight. You’d been through a lot tonight. Just as the moon watches over those who slumber away, I’ll watch over you as you sleep.” you said softly, gently lowering him to the ground and lightly forcing his head into your lap. It wasn’t even 5 seconds later that his snores filled the air, letting you watch over and protect him as he rested. Though you’d healed some of his injuries, he would still need a great deal of rest. Picking him up and putting him on your back, you carried him back down to the others, smiling when they gave you odd looks.

     “There’s no way to explain anything without sounding insane, just trust me that Luffy and I are alright and there’s no need for concern. He’ll need a few days of rest though. Awakening a devil fruit like his is… a strain on his body.” you said, as you all headed off of the ‘island’ that now sat not far from the flower capital. Turning your head, you smiled at your sleeping love. You were finally reunited, truly reunited. Though you still didn’t understand why your mind kept calling him Nika or why you felt like you’d just reunited when you’d been fighting your way up to the top together, you could figure it out later, all that mattered right now was that you were together and he was alive.

#one piece #one piece Luffy #op Luffy #mugiwara luffy x reader #mugiwara no luffy #straw hat luffy x reader #straw hat luffy #sun god nika #sun god luffy #sun god nika x reader #sun god Luffy x reader #gear 5 luffy #luffy gear 5 #Moon Goddess!Reader

[musingsofanaroace]

Realizing I was AroAce

When did I realize I was AroAce?

It was in 1995, when I was eleven going on twelve. During that time, boys started liking girls (or boys), and girls started liking boys (or girls). And the conversations evolved to include discussions about crushes, dating, kissing, and gossip. And I was totally lost. Never had I experienced this thing called a crush, nor did I have any interest in dating or kissing anyone. For a little while, I thought everyone had lost their minds.

So I did what I always did when in a situation incomprehensible to me: I analyzed it to death. I wrote down all the incongruities between me and my peers. I never had a crush and had no desire to French kiss anyone. In fact, it sounded quite gross. Swapping spit with someone seemed unsanitary and unnecessary. But having their first kiss seemed to be the only thing the girls in my year wanted to talk about. And when they got older, the obsession turned to sex, which I really didn’t understand. Why would anyone want to engage in that activity other than for reproductive purposes? With these facts, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t desire sexual stuff. Since I didn't know about the existence of the word asexual, I invented my own: nonsexual.

I defined nonsexual as someone who doesn’t experience crushes or desire sex. I know that this definition is quite limited and only describes asexuals who are sex averse or sex repulsed. But at the time, I didn't know that asexuals could be either sex neutral or sex favorable.

Once I figured out what to call my lack of sexual attraction, I moved on to romance. I knew I felt no desire to go on dates, hold hands, or get married. The whole process seemed like a waste of time and effort. In the time it would take to go on a date with someone, I could have spent that time doing something more productive. Like washing my clothes or reading a book or playing a board game with a friend. And watching couples get romantic in front of me, whether in the movies or in real life, always gave me the ick. In all honesty, this entire romance thing truly baffled me. Since I didn’t know the term aromantic, I dubbed it nonromantic.

At the time, I defined nonromantic as someone who doesn’t experience romantic feelings toward other people. And surprisingly, this definition aligns pretty well with that of aromantic.

What was my reaction to being AroAce?

I just accepted it. Never did I feel a desire to fit in, and peer pressure never impacted me. I had a fiercely independent and strong-willed personality. Also, I always stuck out like an odd duck, and I just embraced this identity. What else could I do? I definitely didn’t know at the time that I had AuDHD.

And another factor, I had just started puberty and with that came gender dysphoria. I didn’t have the time or energy to freak out about both my sexuality and gender. And since gender had confused me the longest, that’s the one I continued to obsess over. 

When did I discover the term AroAce?

While doing my undergraduate degree, I discovered AVEN and the term asexual. I also learned that sexual drive differs from sexuality and that the term “sex averse” described me the best. (Note: A sex averse individual doesn’t mind if others have sex; it’s just not for them.) 

While doing my graduate degree, I discovered the term aromantic. I also learned about the different types of attraction one can experience. Shortly after that, I found the term that resonated with me the most: AroAce! 

What was my coming out experience?

I don’t really have a pivotal “coming out” moment. When I realized that I was AroAce (nonsexual and nonromantic), I simply talked to my madre about it. She just accepted it. Then I talked to my padre. He didn’t understand it, but at the the same time, he didn’t make a big deal out of it. To be honest, I didn’t even know at the time I was doing a thing called “coming out”. I was simply sharing a discovery I made about myself, and I felt comfortable telling them about it.

Do I feel apart of the lgbtqia+ community?

When I first came out as AroAce (nonsexual and nonromantic), the initials were lgbt, and I didn’t realize that I belonged to the community. I didn’t realize this until I discovered AVEN. At uni, I tried to join a rainbow alliance, but the members didn’t consider me “queer enough”, so after attending one meeting, I didn’t return.

Now, I do consider myself apart of the community, but I still don’t feel comfortable entering queer spaces. I know that I shouldn’t allow my one negative experience to hold me back, but I do find it hard to get over past rejections because I have rejection sensitive dysphoria (ADHD). I’m working on it and one day, I may attend my first Pride. Who knows?

Do I want a queer platonic partner?

I don’t really know. Perhaps? But in my forty years, I haven’t met (in real life) another “out” person on the A-spectrum. So right now, it doesn’t seem likely. Mayhap in the future? I guess only time will tell.

And this concludes how I realized I was AroAce. If you have anything to add, please leave it in the comments. Until next time, take care and stay curious.

#aroace #asexual #aromantic #personal essay #lgbtqia

[sitp-recs]

*posting this way too early to make sure she'll will get to see it today hihi*

Happy happy birthday @shiftylinguini! I wanted to do a little something to celebrate one of the coolest, most talented HP authors out there. Sami is literally the coolest. Anyone who knows me at this point has realized that horny smut and clever humor are the way to conquer my heart. And Sam delivers both - and also plots! Character development! Drama and romance! - masterfully. Fuck buddies, Auror partners, A/B/O, established relationship, triads, age gap (my beloved!), you name it. She’s written it all, with impeccable dialogue and UST.

Sami, I’ve been following your works for quite a few years now and they never fail to impress me with your unique and hilarious sense of humour, your charming and vibrant characters, the A+ banter and domesticity, the clever plots, the lush sexual tension, witty dialogue and above all, unfailing emotional resonance. You build charged yet playful atmospheres like no one else and I’m especially grateful for your iconic takes on creature fic and A/B/O, two tropes that never interested me much until I found Embers and became utterly obsessed with it.

Your fics have shaped my Drarry experience and appreciation for rare pairs over the years and I'm sure I'm not alone; I don’t think you even realize the impact or how seminal your works were to some of us. You’re both a Drarry and rare pair champion, which is why I wanted to take some time and give your phenomenal catalogue a shoutout by highlighting my all-time favorites. I hope you have a lovely birthday knowing how appreciated you are by all of us! Sending lots of love and wishing you a fantastic year ahead, my friend 💙

Safe (M, 2k) - Harry/Sirius

He’s not James, Sirius tells himself as Harry gets into bed with him on a cold Monday night. He’s not James, but Sirius is not Padfoot anymore either.

Toeing the Line (E, 3k) - Drarry + Teddy

Draco wasn’t sure why watching his partner fuck Teddy until he screamed was somehow less morally iffy for Harry than just doing it himself, but Draco wasn’t about to judge. Not when he was balls deep, anyway. Read my rec here.

(Don’t) Behave (E, 3k) - Teddy/Charlie

Teddy is a bit of a mess, and Harry is at his wits’ end with his eighteen-year-old godson. Sending him to Charlie, thinking the older man could knock some sense into the kid, seemed like a great idea.

Sardines (E, 4k) - Scorbus + Jeddy

It’s bad enough his cock is hard from listening to the impromptu midnight pornography of his brother getting off; Albus is not going to add seeing it to the list of reasons why he lost his mind, and presumably his eyesight, on the eve of his grandmother's seventieth. Read my rec here.

A Noir Cliche (T, 4k) - Drarry

Draco is not a Healer. Harry doesn’t get hurt on purpose. They really have to stop meeting like this. Read my rec here.

Five Years (M, 4.7k) - Drarry

For Draco, December means finding somewhere he can lose himself in the thrum of a crowd and the throb of music ― and Potter. It always means Potter now, too. Read my rec here.

Float (E, 5k) - Drarry

After a night out, Harry wakes up feeling like he slept on concrete, like his body's made of sand, like he accidentally pissed on his housemate the night before. Because he did accidentally piss on his housemate the night before.

Splat (E, 5.8k) - Albus/James

Of all the things to happen to them, this is truly, truly the last thing James expected. Cw: incest, mild gore

Up The (E, 7.5k) - Drarry

“I feel I need to point out,” Draco kissed gently over Harry’s Adam’s apple, “that this is the most Gryffindor approach to conception that could possibly exist.” Or: Harry's had madder ideas.

forget what I need, give me what I want (and it should be fine) (E, 8k) - Draco/James

But even on those nights when the club is mad with punters and there are staff running ragged from one end to the other, Draco doesn’t need to be working behind the bar ― he just likes it.

Service Bell (E, 8k) - Drarry

Draco is: a werewolf, living in a cabin in the woods, minding his own business, and never going to buy plaid because he's not that much of a fucking cliche (yet). He's also counting down the days until he sees Harry again.

Teeter (E, 10k) - Drarry

Draco wants to come, Harry has other ideas, and they both might be doing this whole 'casually sleeping together' thing a bit wrong.

Hallo Spaceboy (T, 10k) - Jeddy

James’d had to give up on the eyeliner after that; he was grinning too hard, flushed and happy and basking in Teddy’s attention (fit blokes, we’re fit blokes, that’s us), and he couldn't bloody stop. Or: James kissed Teddy last night. This may or may not be the end of the world.

Team Players (E, 15k) - Jeddy + James/Oliver

Everyone has that one celebrity they’d move heaven and earth to get between their legs, and James Potter is no exception. He just never anticipated that number one on his Freebie List would end up in the same room as him, let alone would make the first move. Read my rec here.

Darling, Don’t Think Twice (E, 18k) - Harry/Teddy

Leaving the Aurors, and then England, after his divorce with Ginny was finalised was the best thing for Harry, and for Ginny, too ― but not for the godson who worshipped the ground he walked on. Now that he’s back, all Harry wants is to set up his own place, and to spend time with Teddy as he tries to fix their fractured relationship.

Celestial Bodies (E, 20k) - Drarry

“An astrological anomaly induced bond,” Harry repeats, deadpan, as the Head Healer of the Magical Malfunctions ward finishes announcing his prognosis. “Space magic,” says Draco, tapping long fingers irritably against the arm of his chair. “You’re saying we’ve been zapped by space magic.”

Two Weeks (E, 22k) - Drarry

If Harry had to guess which out of he or his Auror Partner, and tentative new friend, Draco Malfoy, would turn out to have Veela ancestry, his answer would be: neither, because that is ridiculous.

Midnight in the City of a Hundred Spires (E, 25k) - Drarry

Harry Potter is a missing person. Draco Malfoy is a vampire. They are the last two people one would expect to bump into each other in a Creature Bar in Prague, yet to Draco’s absolute shock that is definitely Harry fucking Potter sitting across from him.

Embers (E, 41k) - Drarry

Werewolf Alphas aren't meant to be alone, or to suppress their ruts indefinitely like Draco has been since he was bitten eight years ago. He needs company, companionship, to knot ― he needs an Omega Heat Companion. Read my rec here.

Heartlines (E, 72k) - Drarry

Harry never expected he’d end up chipping away at his virginity while wandless and bonded to Malfoy in Northern Europe. He never expected that would turn out to be the least surprising thing to happen while out on their training expedition in the middle of nowhere, either. Read my rec here.

#happy bday shifty!!! 🎉🎉 #birthday reclist #Sitp essentials #drarry and rare pairs

[soloorganaas]

I know you are anti Remadora so ignore this question if you don't feel like addressing this topic but I saw you talking about them before so I figured it might be OK to ask. How would you feel about an AU version where they get together under very different circumstances, when they are both ready, and there is no pressure, no emotional manipulation, no rushing into things, etc.? So I guess my question is: do you hate Remadora period or do you hate the way their relationship was written in canon? Because for me it's the latter, and I can't ship it if it's canon compliant but I love Remus and Tonks as individuals, and although I ship Wolfstar too, I think there is great potential in their dynamic. It's a straight presenting relationship but in my head they're both queer and I think that's important to note, too.

this is a great question i got back in december, wrote half an essay for, then left in my drafts. i was reminded by the chaos discord of it so dug it out, finished the essay and voila. so i hope you follow me anon and get to enjoy my response to your question

tl;dr - i would never want to read remus and tonks together because remus is gay. gay identity and history is central to his characterisation, as is his relationship with sirius. remus's meaning and impact comes from that, and it's both a beautiful and sad story that resonates with so many gay people

jkr forced his relationship with tonks into being deliberately to try and erase remus's gay identity. she didn't write a meaningful loving relationship with a woman that would have characterised him as bisexual. if she had, then that relationship wouldn't have made remus 'less gay'. it would have been another facet woven in with a broader queer identity. but she didn't. remus did not want to be with tonks, and he was miserable the entire time. he was manipulated into being with her by the bastion of the cishet nuclear family molly weasley, and was only finally happy when he had a son and finally fitted the traditional family friendly cishet mold and said goodbye to his gayness forever

so a story with remus and tonks erases remus's gay identity because it's portraying him as something that he isn't and it plays into the homophobia of jkr in writing it to start with

i have ✨ expanded ✨ on this below with three main points:

1. remus is gay

2. gay history and identity is central to remus's characterisation

3. remus’s story is defined by his relationship with sirius

remus’s sexuality

the biggest question of all is whether remus is into women or not. I don’t think there’s an argument that he is based on his relationship with tonks. this is obviously a subject that can be talked about in great depth, but the key point is that he doesn’t show any interest in her, rejects her again and again, and is miserable when they're married. there’s nothing to indicate any romantic feelings or sexual attraction on his part, any desire to be emotionally or physically intimate, any sense that she understands him in a deep and unique way, or really that she brings him any joy

beyond tonks, I think he’s characterised as not into women generally. he never performs/acts/presents himself in any way for the female gaze - it’s not just about not actively trying to attract women, there is literally no way in which he ever acts like he seems concerned with what women think or passively adopts traits to please them. he also doesn’t have any intense relationships with women that we know of, or any moments of chemistry or tension with women. all of his intense feelings and interactions are with men. all of this is characteristic of the experience of being a gay person

the centrality of gay identity and history to remus's story

remus’s life encapsulates the loneliness and hardship of being gay in the 70s/80s/90s. the marginalisation, the secrecy, the danger of being found out, the suspicion. he is a character constantly carrying a Big Secret, and he’s shaped himself to develop layers of self-control, discretion and manipulation that keep any potentially revealing emotions or personal details safely hidden. he goes out of his way to avoid visibly making trouble or raising his head above the parapet, to present himself as perfectly respectable, which was (and often still is) a fundamental part of existing as gay in a homophobic society, to counter any perceptions of being a predator or untrustworthy or abnormal

and it is a deliberate performance, bc we know quite clearly how much trouble he’s making under the surface - he hides the knowledge of padfoot and the map from dumbledore, he revels in gaslighting snape when he finds the map on harry, his first action when he sees peter and sirius on the map is not to inform the authorities, but to run to them himself and keep it a secret. he’s a mischievous, deviant, sarcastic, often morally grey troublemaker, but no one for a second (except sirius) would ever see that in him

but despite all remus's attempts at respectability, he still is marginalised. he’s fundamentally seen as a dangerous freak, someone who shouldn’t be allowed near children or polite society lest he corrupt them, which is such a metaphor for homophobia (and esp against gay men) it punches you in the face. he’s trapped in poverty despite his education and assumed family wealth and is forced to rely on others for financial security. like so many other gay people throughout history his safety entirely comes from his community, bc he can’t rely on any institutional support - and when it disappears, as it does in 1981, he’s left poor, unsafe and adrift

and then there’s sirius

sirius and remus

remus's entire life from when he joins hogwarts to when he dies is shaped by sirius

he goes from a lonely, marginalised boy to someone loved and valued by his friends, to the point they perform incredibly dangerous and illegal magic just to try and reach him in the aspect of his life that's most painful and isolating. this is largely due to sirius and james. there's not much we know about remus's relationship then with sirius specifically, other than that sirius was both affectionately teasing and affectionately rude towards him (from swm). the rest is extrapolation from how close they are as adults. but the story that we do get is one that wouldn’t exist without sirius

remus then spends thirteen years tortured by the knowledge of what sirius has done that he still can't quite accept, as well as the knowledge of what sirius is going through as the a prisoner in azkaban. he doesn't ever come close to moving on - he loses his shit every time harry brings up sirius; he questions whether sirius, despite being an alleged mass murderer, really deserves azkaban; he is incredibly stressed and anxious to the point of noticeably losing weight the entirety of PoA, which is not just down to lycanthrophy. his entire mental state (and to an extent his physical one) is dictated by sirius

then the moment there's even a hint that sirius might not have committed the crimes alleged remus drops everything and runs. he faces sirius for the first time in thirteen years and believes him instantly. he's at sirius's side defending him and working with him with an astonishing amount of trust for someone he thought (at least partially) was guilty not an hour before. that's a mark of how deep his love and devotion goes, and how much he was simply waiting around for sirius all those years

we have no idea what remus does in GoF, but we do know by OotP he once again drops everything for sirius and moves into an absolutely miserable house to live alongside him. there's no reason for him to be there other than sirius (no one else in the order needs to live there, after all). every scene he's in, every bit of dialogue in that book is related to sirius. when he's saying goodbye to harry after christmas his advice is a subtle reference to sirius. they give harry a joint christmas present, they take care of him together. they exist entirely as partners

after sirius dies, remus completely falls apart. every time we see him through harry's eyes he's worse and worse. by the christmas of harry's sixth year remus is referring to werewolf tribes murdering humans for fun as his 'equals' and has clearly lost all sense of self-worth or reason for being. he's such a wreck he's emotionally manipulated into marrying a woman he doesn't want to and then is an absolutely terrible husband the entire time. even when his son is born, he's still acting thinking of sirius - he asks harry to be teddy's godfather, emulating the example sirius set

remus is who he is because of his relationship with sirius, one that is far, far too intense to be just platonic

conclusion

there is no way i, personally, would ever be comfortable with a remadora relationship. even if they were similar ages or got to know each other in a different context, it still wouldn't be realistic. remus is gay, that entire relationship came about with the intention to straight wash him. putting him together with any woman bothers me, but putting him together with tonks specifically upsets me because of the homophobic background for why that relationship even exists in canon

there are a lot of relationships we can quibble about as to whether they work or not, and that's fair. remadora is one of them. but the extra layer of jkr's homophobia in forcing them together can't be separated from that discussion. some people may view their relationship as meaningful in spite of that. that's fine, we're all entitled to our own headcanons. it's not mine, and there is no story i want to read where remus is with tonks. there's no story i want to read where he isn't gay, full stop

#wolfstar #remus lupin #hp meta #hp

[deadbydad]

I want to give you my opinion on Cloud/Tifa/Aerith relationship. I found some ideas you wrote before to resonate a lot with my opinions. My impression of Cloud and Tifa relationship is that is based on guilt trip, projection and childish infatuation, mostly coming from Tifa. She was the center of attention among her friend when she was a child, which she admits that she liked. I guess Cloud as a child makes the promise to impress the popular girl, because he has a childish crush and because loners tend to be attracted to extrovert people most of the times, he wanted to pe part of Tifa's group of friends. There is also the sory of their fall from the bridge and how Cloud gets blamed, it can be traumatic to a child to be shunned for something that wasn't his fault and Tifa didn't help in this matter. Tifa, on the other side, I think she was impressed by the promise because, hey, a guy wants to join SOLDIERS and be there to protect me. After their village burned and their parents and childhood friend were gone, it kind of makes sense that both Tifa and Cloud want to maintain the connection between them because of their common backgrounds. Also there is a guy, Johnny, who likes Tifa, but I guess he is not cool enough for her. What I find weird about their whole "love" story is how they still have feelings. Like, seriously, after 5 years people move on and their mindest changes. Relationships don't work on a childish promise of "I will protect you", if they do, they will most probably crumble after a time. I believe that love is about complementary personality, same interests, understanding, maturity and playfulness from time to time. To me, playing both the Remake and Rebirth games without knowing the OG story, Cloud and Tifa relationship can't truly be a romantic one. It feels awkward and baseless and childish. She feels jealousy over Aerith after she meets her for the first time because it seems like Cloud might have feelings for her, which I find it, again childish and awkward. She was never a good friend with him and they met after 5 years, time in which both of them experienced different things. And for the most parts of her interaction with Cloud, I feel like she projects a persona on Cloud that she would like him to be, an ideal, but doesn't really know how to handle/act, and at times I feel like she is annoyed with his vulnerable, inconsistent moments of his. For example, in Chapter 13 in that temple in Rebirth, when Cloud is under Sephiroth influence and wants to attack Elena, she goes to stop him, he gives on attacking her, but pushes Tifa away and she shows a sad face, like most of the times. Where Aerith, tries to adapt on the situation, she tries to encourage him, smile, acknowledge his problems and not blame him. I think there is more depth in Aerith and Cloud's relationship and it feels more natural, they meet and simply connect, whereas Tifa and Cloud's seems shallow, just on the surface. I don't disagree that both Tifa and Cloud care about one another, but they lack romantically compatibility. I think that AC shows that even more, the ending and credits are quite enough proof. He might go back to their place in AC, but he will still feel the need to run away from to time to time, which it's not really a healthy behaviour if you would speak about a romantic relationship. I guess there could be made whole pages of analysis on every scene, these were just some stuff that stood out seeing the story for the first in both Remake and Rebirth and then watch AC.

THIS!!

This is why I don't like Tifa, because of how she treats Cloud and her jealousy issues when in reality...

Cloud never was hers to begin with, so I don't see why she has this mindset that 'he promised to save me so he must still like me' which is false

Tifa, in my opinion, needs to grow up and realize that Cloud isn't the only option.

There's Rude and Johnny who literally have crushes on her and I think Tifa and Rude would be so cute together.

There's also Reno, and Zack, and fucking Barret!

Tifa has options, Cloud just doesn't seem to be one of them and she has to move on from the fact that he likes Aerith.

Yes they both care for one another but not in the same way

@kpoplovermjm

#tifa lockhart #aerith gainsborough #cloud strife #final fantasy series #final fantasy vii #ff7 rebirth

[the-guy-shes-interested]

The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy - Drama CD Interview from the cast!

Hey everyone! Back again, and this time, we're diving into the comments from the cast of the Drama CD adaptation of The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't A Guy At All. Be sure to join the Discord Server of The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't A Guy At All for every latest updates!

Comments from Mariya Ise, Akari Kito, Kenjiro Tsuda, and Tasuku Hatanaka about the Drama CD of The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy have been revealed! This comic, written by Sumiko Arai-sensei and eagerly anticipated by fans, released its second volume on February 27, 2024, receiving massive support on social media.

The drama CD is set to release on April 24, and the four cast members (Mariya Ise, Akari Kito, Kenjiro Tsuda, and Tasuku Hatanaka) have shared their thoughts after recording for it.

[Interview starts from here! ― Original Link]

Post-recording Comments:

――Please share your honest impressions after finishing the recording.

Mariya Ise: You know, I've been quietly enjoying Arai-sensei's manga on Twitter. The way Mitsuki unconsciously exudes that handsome aura… it's just so captivating. I found myself getting as excited as Aya about it (laughs). Playing Mitsuki was beyond anything I imagined… I feel incredibly grateful and excited!! Getting to bring to life a beloved character from a beloved story is just pure joy. I put a lot of care and love into portraying Mitsuki!

Akari Kito: The recording session had a lot to cover, but I found it really fun because I had the freedom to act as I liked! Being part of a project I was already a fan of was really satisfying, and it reminded me once again of how thrilling it is to see this story, which is so tied to music, come to life as a drama CD!

Kenjiro Tsuda: Recording was a blast. The atmosphere was lively and upbeat. Whether we were tackling comedic or serious scenes, there was this perfect mix of tension and relaxation in the air, making it all the more enjoyable.

Tasuku Hatanaka: When I joined this project, I made sure to read the manga, of course. It's brimming with those precious emotions of falling for someone, experiencing pain, and feeling frustrated. Being part of the drama CD adaptation of such a heartfelt work genuinely brought me joy.

――Please share your impressions of the character you portrayed.

Mariya Ise: I'm really drawn to Mitsuki's genuine passion for the things she loves and her determination to pursue her goals. It resonates with me because I strive to live my life cherishing those same values. Her genuine care and appreciation for the people around her are truly admirable. Mitsuki's coolness stems from these qualities, and it's clear why she's so supported and loved by those who know her.

Akari Kito: At first glance, she (Aya) might come across as a cheerful, popular girl who fits the "gal" stereotype and holds a high status in school. However, she's actually quite multifaceted. She's deeply passionate about Western music and can be quite serious about it. On the other hand, she also has a cute side, like when she develops a crush on the "onii-san" (?) at the CD shop. It's like she's a kid with many different sides to her personality. Initially, I wasn't sure how to approach playing her character, but I decided to portray her as an ordinary girl, incorporating all those diverse aspects into my performance.

Kenjiro Tsuda: He's (Joe) a fun and caring uncle who's still really cool. It's great to have adults like him who understand and connect with young people. I made sure to show both his playful side and his ability to be supportive. He's just a really great guy.

Tasuku Hatanaka: Playing Narita-kun was a breeze for me. Back when I was a student, I wasn't super experienced with women, but there was something about his easygoing nature that I could relate to. So, slipping into the role felt effortless! It was a blast portraying him!

――This time, Mariya Ise, you had a singing part for "Creep." Please share your thoughts after singing it, and if there are any points you'd like listeners to pay attention to.

Mariya Ise: It was really tough! (laughs) The challenge felt overwhelming… I honestly wanted to escape from it! (laughs) But I knew I had to give it my best shot for the project, so I gathered my courage and tackled it head-on. I hope you'll listen with warm ears…

――Please give a message to all the fans.

Mariya Ise: I'm a bit anxious about capturing the Mitsuki that readers envision, but as someone who has been a reader and a fan for many years, I played Mitsuki with care and dedication, imagining the Mitsuki that I hold dear. I hope you'll enjoy and cherish the drama CD The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All as much as I do! Thank you so much!

Akari Kito: I've been a fan of The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy At All series for a while now, and I'm aware of its popularity among readers around me. I'm sure there are many eagerly anticipating this drama CD! It would bring me immense joy if this beloved series, cherished by so many, could be enjoyed in audio form and loved by even more people!

Kenjiro Tsuda: This work is truly special, blending laughter and touching moments that capture the spirit of youth. With a soundtrack featuring songs from legendary rockers, it's a treat for fans of rock music. But even if you're not familiar with rock, I'm confident you'll still enjoy this refreshing youth drama.

Tasuku Hatanaka: Reading the story, I was struck by how beautifully it portrays the experience of falling in love. I really hope the drama CD manages to capture that essence and brings happiness to everyone who listens to it! I would be so thankful if you could enjoy both the original work and the CD multiple times! Thank you so much!!!

――To all the cast members, thank you very much!

#the guy she was interested in wasn't a guy at all #ki ni natteru hito ga otoko janakatta #tgswiiwagaa #aya oosawa #mitsuaya #mitsuki koga #koga mitsuki #arai sumiko #yuri manga #girls love #yuri #gl manga #saphic #girl love #green manga #sumiko arai

[noodlesha]

Sex Education: Season 4 (2023) – Just some thoughts.

Over a span of four days, my housemates and I sat down to watch the final season of sex education; the show had started in 2019 (which feels like a lie, but we move I guess) and was loved by the masses. People really resonated with it as they showcased people dealing with all sorts of different complexities and natures and it was truly wonderful to see so many demographics being represented.

And while I know some of the criticism comes from the fact they favour representation over solid writing, I can understand that sometimes it’s just nice to be seen on a tv show with no ulterior motive and to be frank, this show has some great writing with certain characters. But like most TV shows, it didn’t mean it didn’t have its faults much like this season. But I think the best way to talk about this show is through its characters, which are the driving force of this TV show and it both benefits and fails from it.

The New Characters

When going into it, I was quite sceptical about the new characters, and coming out of it, I think I still am. I enjoyed the representation of ‘The Coven’ or whatever they were called, I think Aisha was written the best out of the three considering she had a broader storyline and I loved how they discussed accessibility for disabled people it was very refreshing. But coming out of the show, I don’t think I felt anything for these characters, and I found myself wishing they had Lily and Ola back.

O felt like a complete waste of a character – it felt like they made her very purposefully antagonistic, and yet when it came time to redeem her character it felt like a last-minute decision. I also think the way they handled her asexuality was very odd and felt quite forced at times, I remember during season one the writers seemed to be suggesting Otis was asexual but then didn’t push through to it, O just seemed like a rehash of that exact thing. There was clearly some stuff left out because O felt very antagonistic back at Otis, but Otis didn’t really do much towards their opposing sex clinics.

Adam (and Michael too)

This storyline became a favourite when the show ended and I didn’t think it would hit me as hard as it did. Adam’s character arc through the show has been very interesting to see, when looking back to last season I was never really a fan of Adam and Eric’s love story but that was the storyline that made me like Adam so I guess there was something to it. I also enjoyed that Adam didn’t go into sixth form and instead followed what his interests were, it’s quite cool to show there are different options rather than just sixth form, then university etc. But I loved the interesting parallels between the son and father, both were coming into their own person which was needed for both of them so they could accept one another and their heart-to-heart at the end was very sweet.

Jackson and Viv

I love the platonic bestie vibes this duo have, it’s so wholesome and I enjoy that the writers never compromised their friendship for a relationship because it’s something you don’t really see that often. I liked the storyline Jackson had surrounding the stigma of cancer in men, it was different and very unexpected but I liked that because it is scary and it weaved very well into his intrigue with his identity. One thing I was a bit confused about was Jackson’s journey with his sexuality; I feel like they slightly breached the topic but there was no clear closure for that storyline which was a big part of his character arc last season, but perhaps I missed something. With Viv, her storyline also quite surprised me; I truly didn’t expect her romance with Beau to take an abusive turn – but in retrospect it’s very interesting to see all the qualities of possessiveness and obsession that Beau had throughout the season. But either way I liked the resolutions in their ending (also loved that Aimee and Viv kind of became a duo), and I’m sad to let them go.

Ruby

One thing I really didn’t like this season was Ruby’s storyline; it was just her pining over Otis again and Otis not giving her an inch despite using her to help his campaign. It felt very backwards to me, especially seeing as Otis didn’t even thank her (more on that later because I have so much more to say on Otis); although she found her own confidence at the end and didn’t dance with him, I honestly would’ve preferred if they were just friends, but I can understand the need to have tension and drama to make things more interesting, but I was just left wanting a bit more with her character rather than her problems being purely surface.

Jean (and her sister… and her baby)

I will be honest, it was very odd to see Jean without Jakob (or Sven as my housemates and I referred to him), but truly I kind of didn’t miss him because they introduced a much more compelling duo with her younger sister. Jean’s storyline was quite interesting; to see a woman struggle with post-partum depression on-screen and not be villainised for it was very refreshing and I thought linking it with her fear of being like her own mother was very good. Her sister’s storyline was also very interesting, I liked how different they were and also that they had a very natural sisterly bond, which is something you don’t see among older women anymore in media.

Cal

I really enjoyed that we got more of a look into Cal's life because that was one reason I didn't really connect with Cal last season was because we didn't get a sense of who they are. But this was majorly broached in this season and I was glad because I really enjoyed their character. Their story was wholly centered around their identity and I thought it was very heartwarming that the school charity came together for their top surgery. Two things that I struggled with though were the fact that their attempt to take their own life was very much brushed over and the fact that their and Jackson's storylines didn't really get completed either. But overall, I really enjoyed their character.

Eric

Honestly, he and Aimee are the best characters on this show, and you can’t even change my mind. One thing I was very glad for was that they tabled the whole Eric and Adam relationship and that they recognised that someone shouldn’t be in a relationship with their bully (and because Eric can do so much better, and I say that while loving Adam as a character too). Something that surprised me but in a good way was his relationship with his religion, it’s so interesting to see because you don’t see a lot of this, especially nowadays. And it was nice to see him flourish with friends that understand him and his views on things (OTHER THAN OTIS WHO DOESN’T CARE), and his turmoil of wanting to be baptised but then realising he doesn’t need that to reaffirm his relationship with God. And Ncuti is just SO funny and charming as Eric, he’s going to be a star one day (especially since he’s been in Barbie and Doctor Who) and I genuinely can’t wait to see it.

Aimee and Issac (but mostly Aimee)

Oh god where do I start, Aimee Gibbs is genuinely one of the best TV show characters ever; she is so likable and the journey her character has gone through is amazing. When the show opens with her documenting her recovery, I was immediately struck that she was going to have a fabulous ending to her story. I loved that she was trying different things like art to express her trauma and seeing her have fun with it was just so, so human and I love when media replicates that side of humanity. One thing that was a pleasant surprise was Issac and Aimee’s relationship; now this may be a controversial take, but I was never really an Issac hater… I know, how insane. So, seeing him get fleshed out more and more was really moving; their relationship was something very different and also made so much sense. I wouldn’t have put them together, but the actors had a lot of chemistry and I enjoyed that they uplifted one another but never crossed any barriers of their own agency.

Maeve

Maeve is a very interesting character; now for another controversial take, I was never a big fan of Maeve, it’s nothing I could really pinpoint but she often seemed very abrasive. But on the flip side, I also respected that about her character, that the writers were never afraid to make her spunky and outspoken, and for her to not be punished for that either. Her storyline this season was great, it made me enjoy her character so much more than I thought I would; the way she acted around the death of her mother was so good and felt very real – and I loved how mature the ending of her, and Otis’ love story was as well. Again, I know some people may think differently but I’m glad they didn’t stay together because let’s be honest, the two wouldn’t last a week ESPECIALLY long distance. She got to focus on herself and her career in the end, which was something she wanted since the beginning of this show; and it was incredibly satisfying to see that on screen.

Otis Dickhead

My, my… you know for the literal LEAD of the show, you’d think they’d write a character that’s at the very least tolerable. Because oh my god, now I’ve never liked the way Otis’ character is written, but Jesus Christ I think we’ve hit an all-time low. One thing he does that drives me up the wall is that he never texted anyone back; like when Ruby kept asking him where he was, he didn’t even message or anything and that was before Maeve’s mum passed away, he is just so inept.

Also, the fact that he’s a so-called sex therapist yet he struggles to article his own problems with BASIC problem-solving skills actually amazes me – I admire the writers for being able to write someone SO thick in the head without going braindead themselves, I really do. Okay rant over – Otis’ storyline really felt like a backdrop to everything in the season, the only interesting thing was his and Maeve’s story and that wasn’t even his main dilemma on the season. Overall, his character is shit and I’m so glad I never have to see his face again (sorry Asa Butterfield, love you!).

#sex education #sex ed spoilers #sex ed s4 #sex ed netflix #otis milburn #aimee gibbs #sex education spoilers #maeve wiley #tv series #tv #tv shows #review #new releases #eric effiong #ncuti gatwa #asa butterfield #gillian anderson #jean milburn #emma mackey #adam groff #ruby matthews #mimi keene #connor swindells #jackson marchetti #kedar williams stirling #cal #dua saleh #viv #dan levy #television

[swimmingwithfish]

XO, Kitty and the start of the queer character evolution.

(Spoilers for XO Kitty Below!)

I’m always one for teen dramas. It’s a guilty pleasure that I take much delight in. Classic rom-coms like 10 Things I Hate About You and Clueless have always been my favourites. But to me, they always felt too straight. Too much heteronormative things and none of the queer rep I always wanted, even in more modern films and TV Shows in the genre. 

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before has always been one of my favourtie movies, so, when I found out about the spin off series XO, Kitty, I was ecstatic. Kitty had always been a character I resonated with and I loved all of Jenny Han’s other work. 

Going into it, I expected the classic two boys fighting over one girl love triangle, a gay best friend and the girl best friend that I always seem to ship the main character with. I had predicted most of the story from the start. Until.

XO, Kitty is far from the ‘girl meets boy’ I was familiar with. It’s a queer love story and a coming out story and a self-discovery story. Definitely not the black and white romance i thought it would follow. 

We have Q, the GBF, who is far from the feminine male sterotype you see in teen TV. He doesn’t give Kitty fashion advice and makeovers (which isn’t a bad thing btw), but a jock, the atheltic scholarship kid, who sure, does know a good dress when he sees one, but takes on a character that’s still such a worthy queer person without having to fall into the feminine sterotype. 

Then we have Yuri, the Korean ‘it’ girl, also the girl best friend. She’s not the bimbo pick me girl you think she might me. She’s complex and interesting and she’s gay. Her storyline is something you don’t see often, and they really delve into the struggles of what it’s like being queer in a place and family where you’re not allowed to. Her journey is beautiful and powerful and reflects the coming out struggle in such an honest way, without making her story as a queer person just about coming out. She says the line ‘I have to live a fake life just so you’ll keep loving me’, when coming out to her mum and that encompassed so much of my current queer experience, especially as a person of colour. I think that it was for me, a sort of ‘Hey! we’re in the same boat’ thing and really made me feel so much more seen. She’s a well developed queer character that isn’t reduced to a ‘placed there just for representation’ character.

And we have Kitty herself. The main character. I honestly did not expect Netflix and the producers to go in this direction, but Kitty is queer. At first, I didn’t know if they were just sorta doing it for the sake of it. It didn’t feel like a deliberate decision. Maybe more of a thought that crosses her mind during the show. But Kitty has a crush on Yuri, and the way they address it is so different. They don’t exactly show that coming out to yourself thought process (which I kind of wish they did), rather, Kitty likes Yuri and she just accepts that, which I think is cool. I like now we don’t always need this big revelation moments (although, they’re still cool), but I think it shows the progression of how we treat queer characters as not spectacles for the audience, but just, people. Kitty’s crush on Yuri also felt very resemblant to my own crush on my friend which was probably why I related to her so much but just in general, it felt so natural to just have a queer main character in a non-queer focused show. Like, this wasn’t Hearstopper. No one expected it to be, yet, here we are, and I’m so happy about that.

This evolution into organically created queer characters is something we defnintely need more of and I’m so glad that Netflix is taking the step to do so. ALTHOUGH I REALLY HOPE THIS IS NOT BECAUSE THEY’RE TRYING TO GET REDEMPTION FOR CANCELLING ALL THE OTHER SAPPHIC SHOWS. 

I also feel like though, that Jenny Han is just like a great person because whenever it’s her books being adapted, there’s always this like ‘organic queerness’. Like, in The Summer I Turned Pretty, there’s this guy Jeremiah, who in her book is presented as this straight guy, but in the show he just like kisses some guy and it was a dileberate from of causal representation (if that’s even a thing). Like kissing that guy didn’t add to the plot, but it wasn’t queerbaiting either because (well for me personally) I felt like the directors were like ‘This is Jeremiah. He’s queer, and he’s a main love interest’ and being queer didn’t like shatter the earth around him, it was just a part of him, as it is for all queer people.

But XO, Kitty itself aside from Kitty and Yuri is so good (maybe because I’m a sucker for these things), but everything about it just makes me squeal. I feel like teen TV is taking a turn in terms of creating realistic characters. And while we still have a long way to go (GENDER DIVERSE AND CULTURALLY DIVERSE PEOPLE!!!! CMON NETFLIX), XO, Kitty feels like a really big win for queer (and especially QPOC) people. 

#xo kitty #kitty song covey #queer #lgbtq #representation #@netflix #watch xo kitty #its so good #im obsessed #rant

[the-marron]

When I was a kid I used to love Britney Spears. Her music videos fascinated me - they were colourful and they seemed to have a story to tell, so I adored watching them and making up my own stories that went along with what was happening on the screen. I didn't know English back then at all, so I didn't understand a word, but her songs brought me joy and I adored her.

When I got a bit older, around maybe 8 or 9, it turned out that liking Britney Spears is BAD TM. Because she is a stupid blonde, you see. My parents told me I was too smart to listen to trashy pop. They helped me get the CDs, yes, but they were always given to me with a 'eh, I hope you will grow out of it soon'. I was a smart kid, I shouldn't listen to stupid things.

My peers also mocked Britney, telling me all the other artists that were better to listen to, like Christina Aguilera. She was the smart, edgy blonde, so if I had to listen to silly songs, then I could at least pick a more mature, better option.

There were other artists I listened to, of course, it's not like Britney was the only one that spoke to me, but when I learned English enough to understand what the songs were about, I grew to like them more - the songs about trying to be your own person, about not accepting what other people tell you you should be. About parents deciding what you should do and like. They resonated with me, even though I was 'too smart' for that sort of music.

As most kids do, I started to hide it. When I was 10, maybe 11, I made a very good impression of being over it. I listened to Rammstein now, sometimes to Linkin Park. It was much better, according to many.

My dad told me he was proud of me when I told him I enjoyed Sabaton. "Finally, you grew out of your stupid era!"

I was sufficiently shamed by that point to never mention my Britney Spears phase. It was the butt of jokes at family dinners still, because it was such a funny thing for a kid to like silly music. Now that the kid was over it, we should mock it as viciously as possible. Just in case said kid wants to revert to the old ways.

To be completely honest, I copied that approach - my victim of choice was Adele. It was in high school already, and I absolutely abhorred her songs. I found them whiny, overhyped, unnecessarily tearful and man-oriented, they all sounded the same to my ears, so whenever someone said that their favourite song was something of Adele's, my first thought was 'but you are smart? Why her?'

Fast-forward to now, and with Britney Spears's book released, it turns out that listening to her is okay now. It's feminist. It's fine and even good to say outright that you are a fan. Because she is a victim of abuse now, so it's fine and morally correct to like her. Her songs and lyrics have value now. Curious.

The thing is, I truly did grow out from my Britney phase. I retain some sentiment for a few songs, but either it's simply not who I am anymore, or I successfully eradicated my interest in her to stop feeling ashamed whenever her name comes up in a conversation. Doesn't matter which one it is, the effect is the same.

However, now I am old enough to see that what was done to my Britney phase, I applied to other singers - Adele, Billie Eilish, to name a few. There is always a woman singer to hate, someone whose lyrics and music "you are too smart to enjoy".

There is no real take away from it really, all of that are just musings born out of an idle mind, but now I believe that songs are a bit like poetry - you either connect with it or you don't, either it touches you or it doesn't. One person will see themselves in Adele, someone else will find themselves mirrored in Billie Eilish, someone else feels seen whenever they listen to Mitski. It's a universal feeling we all experience, to like a song and think 'wow, this speaks to me!', we all just have different tastes and different experiences.

I just know that right now, I no longer want to be the person who says 'I thought you were smarter than this?' whenever someone shares their favourites.

#britney spears #but it's also about taylor swift now #marron on the rant #marron gets personal

[starbuck09256]

The enigmatic Dr. Scully

Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2023

It's been a while xf fam! But I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Thank goodness for Fictober! Hope you enjoy this little slice I came up with.

Season one, Mulders thoughts on his new partner.

He hadn’t prepared himself as well as he thought. His research into his newly assigned partner had glossed over her brilliance, significantly. Her thesis resonated with him on an intellectual level that made Phoebe seem almost illiterate, which was most certainly not the case.  Most would assume he had a certain type of woman he liked, tall, dark hair with a classic old money look that can’t be faked by even the wealthiest of the new money. That wasn’t his type, not really, the problem was women who had come from backgrounds like his had something else in common. Education, yes education, you see men of wealth needed a companion who could hold their own in conversation. Who read the Times, the Wall Street Journal. These women were well-bred and educated in a way that previous generations of women would never imagine. Phoebe and her father’s connections, prestigious schools, even Diana and her senator of a father. 

His type wasn’t looks, and the fact that he sat here on his worn couch with a copy of Dr. Dana Scully's senior thesis with so many notes in the margins that he had 8 pages of additional addendums on a yellow legal pad gave him more than a pause for concern. Dana Scully could easily be his downfall. Her thesis and thoughts had plagued his mind for weeks since he first read it. While originally he believed she would be a skeptical scientist and discredit his work at every possible turn, her thesis pointed to a different person altogether. She was certainly pretty, which he had already discerned from her FBI photo. She outranked him in the shooting range and about 95% of the bureau. Might be a good thing to have a partner with a guaranteed good shot. Unless she was going to be shooting at him, another ripple of anxiety rolled through his mind.

Why put her on the X-Files? Why saddle her brilliance in the basement? She wanted to get into fieldwork, she had a reputation as being a well-liked, informative instructor at the academy. Of course, some of her classmates were proving they would do anything to climb the federal ladder, not at all unusual for new recruits. He tapped his pen against the pile of pages of math and theory that had him questioning his own marginal knowledge of the universe. 

He had mentioned he liked it. He more than liked it, and damn if he didn’t like her too. This was not the time to fall for a badly veiled ploy. He taps his pen more before tossing it on the stack of files as he rubs his face standing up to pace a bit trying to order his thoughts of her once again. He isn’t sure what to make of her. She had followed him out to Oregon, and while she didn’t agree with his theory, the way she had gathered extra evidence, as she had studied Billy Miles's feet. She understood. On some level she was just like him, searching for the truth in a litany of lies. She was far more open-minded than she let on. She was far more righteous and loyal than he had originally thought, and he has been desperate to talk to her since. 

While he is proud that he hasn’t called her again since he let her know that the reports they filed were gone, his mind is begging him to engage her in another mystery. He needs more time with her. More time to figure out the enigma that she is. His stellar reputation and education have provided him with a way to look through people dissecting their interests, their fears, and their motives. Has he become so complacent that this new partner of his, confounds his mind so easily? Or has something much worse occurred? Has he finally found a woman that leaves him in the intellectual dust? 

He pulls out a report of a missing test pilot in Idaho. What would the enigmatic Dr. Scully think of a missing test pilot? How far would she challenge a military command that her own father has been a part of for over 20 years? He wonders and his own damn curiosity about her allegiances and thoughts have him picking up the phone and dialing before he has a solid plan to engage her. 

She agrees to meet him tomorrow at a bar just down the street from the bureau. His mind finally catches up and again asks him how smart it is to meet the woman, who has been plaguing his mind incessantly for the last 4 days, at a bar. Thank god he suggested a 2pm meeting. Will he buy her a drink? That could be an easy test. If she is open to a drink, would it speak to her willingness to fall in line with the secret lynching the bureau has planned for his continual embarrassment? Or will she point out that it is 2pm and she has other work to do? He told her he had a case that he didn’t want to share at work. He has a feeling should they continue on this journey it will not be the last time they meet in secret someplace outside the walls and ears of bureaus halls. He sits back against the worn leather, a smile stretching across his face. At the very least he will get to see her again, and talk with her, and for now, just knowing that tomorrow his mind will need every fiber of fortitude to dance with the brilliance of Dr. Scully is enough. 

#mulder and scully #msr #xfiles #fanfic #myfic #fictober23 #xffictober23 #fictober 2023 #xf fictober23

[sunieepo]

honestly, if i may, all of this talk about the way people treat trans women has reminded me of an experience i still remember vividly back when i was peripherally part of the tumblr / twitter mfrp community. which please note i was never a very active participant, i personally found mfrp very boring and so i was never really fully integrated into these communities - but while i was in them i did befriend a few trans women and i noticed a very persistent pattern in these supposed LGBT-friendly spaces regarding the moderation of trans women.

there was a persistent issue in multiple different mfrp communities i was peripherally involved in, in which trans women would always be regarded as "abrasive" or "aggressive", for making the same kinds of comments and jokes that tme people were making. and the (majority tme) moderation teams would almost always rule against trans women, silencing them or labeling them as deviants / weirdos for behaviors that they would be much more forgiving towards tme people for.

as a sort of bystander i didn't really have a leg in to comment on the actions of moderation teams, i could only offer being a friend to trans women as i watched them be ostracized from these spaces by the very same people who would plaster "terfs dni" all over their bios. i'm not saying this to pat myself on the back, there is definitely more i could have done in those situations, but i do want to call out why all these "fuck terf" type posts just never really resonate with me, seeing them be rbed by people who i know would just jump at the opportunity to demonize a trans woman again (and i just saw it happen earlier with that stupid shit slinging post falsely accusing a trans woman of something she didn't even do regarding cohost...) (i'm aware op of that post apologized for their behavior but what occurred is what occurred)

it's not enough to say "fuck terfs" and i hate that people always center on the buffoonery of terf behavior instead of centering and caring for and supporting the trans women in their lives. it's really frustrating for me to watch as a staunch feminist to continually see the way the lgbt community has let down trans women. the recent wave of discourse regarding "transandrophobia" is also extremely worrying to me - i have seen a non-insignificant number of posts made by certain people in that community that claim that the lgbt community is Too centered on trans women: as if it's a competition, and as if the visibility of trans women is somehow a boon to them rather than a consequence of people using their cause to simply be performative instead of genuinely uplifting and loving.

sorry this isn't the most well thought-out post, i'm just rambling and i have a lot of complicated feelings on this. i don't want to derail what's happening right now too much by bringing up other topics, but i will say i do think it's inevitable that at some point we do need to confront some of the "transandrophobia truther" type sentiments i've seen lately, because they absolutely are damaging to trans women and lead to situations exactly like this.

please, if nothing else, i really hope everyone takes this as an opportunity to be kind to the trans women in their lives. the least you could do is offer them your support. reblogging posts dunking on transmisogynists is not enough. we need to make our communities safer for trans women, and that doesn't end with car hammer explosion memes.

rbs off because i'm not interested in centering my voice as a tme person and this post isn't really something polished i want escaping from my social circle. if you're a mutual of mine and you're feeling unsure about my stance on some of the topics mentioned above, my DMs are open and i am happy to discuss, but at the very least all i ask is for us to be better to trans women. that's all.

#transmisogyny #if you're going to unfollow me for this post #i kindly request you block me first because i am very suspicious of why you would. #also sorry if anyone who sees this is familiar with the situations i described in the first few paragraphs. #i'm not trying to call anyone out in specific. #sunie posts

[saccharineomens]

Thistle and Kabru!

Thistle - what message of the series resonated with you the most?

Hmmm. Well, the part of the series that I already ascribed to and was just delighted to see in a story was the stuff about the ecosystem — specifically in the Kraken chapter where Senshi said he was arrogant to assume he could solely be a caretaker of the ecosystem, because he was already PART of the ecosystem. When Laios mentioned how now that the (overly dominant) Kraken was killed, the rest of the fourth floor’s ecosystem could re-balance itself? Chef’s kiss. It even brings up some sinister realizations about how humans are, ultimately, apex predators — even moreso than the most terrifying monster out there. There are times when humans will be defeated by other monsters, but ultimately, it is only a matter of resources, collaboration, and time for humans to wipe out an ecosystem.

But how can I neglect to mention one of my favorite sequences (MAJOR SPOILERS FOR ANIME-ONLIES) — the part where Laios was already starting down his path of understanding that he can’t force his perfect world on other people. It started with the Golden Kingdom, and how they told him immortality became a curse. It led to his confrontation with Thistle, where Thistle tied him up and force-fed him — why would he complain, his needs were being taken care of! Then when he fought his way to Marcille in the tower — arguing with her that she wouldn’t truly want a world where everyone felt the same way as her. I felt like that point was where Marcille and Laios truly connected, and Marcille realized that she loved him and her friends exactly as imperfect as they were, and no longer wanted to destroy the world for her idea of perfection. It was a really touching moment.

Kabru - which character do you find most interesting, and why?

Laios! I love him, but I also didn’t fully understand him at times. There were a lot of things about him I found relatable. Struggling to make friends, feeling like the interests you were excited about made other people uncomfortable, so you hide who you are deep deep down out of fear of losing your friends. I didn’t relate to his desire to become something else, but I did relate to his desire to escape, to not have to deal with the complexities of being human. I’ve often looked at my cat and wished I could be a cat like him: pampered, unconditionally loved, no student debts or taxes or career, with all his needs taken care of. But it’s not a true, permanent desire I feel, like the kind Laios feels; for me, it’s just an escapist fantasy.

I wish I was friends with him, so I could show him how cool humans are. He thinks they’re bland, but I think he’d really benefit from some anthropology. Get Namari in here to wax poetic about his height XD

Send me a character from Dungeon Meshi!

#Dungeon meshi #axbox #Anon

[h-worksrambles]

Undertale Post-Pacifist Headcanons

Like many people who’ve played through Undertale’s Pacifist route, I have my own fair share of thoughts on what happens to all the characters after the credits roll. And because I’m feeling in a sentimental mood, I wanted to write them all down in one place. So I thought I’d go through each of the main characters and talk through where I see them ending up. Some of these have been partially shaped by other takes, or even fics, that resonated with me. Others are purely my own interpretation. This isn’t a fic or anything super comprehensive. Just me splurging out my thoughts onto a page to get ‘em out of my head after all this time. Also a few side notes before we start: -This is NOT referring to Souless Pacifist. That’s an interesting thing to think about but, frankly, I’d like to actually be happy today. -I’m mostly leaving Deltarune out of this because’s it’s a seperate canon, it’s not finished and frankly, I have NO IDEA where that story is going. -This all purely my conjecture based on my interpretation of the story and characters and what I’d like to think happens next. Nothing more. Frisk Frisk accepted Toriel’s offer to stay with her and they settled down in a house in the town, Ebott, not far from the mountain of the same name. Originally the pair just had a small place to themselves, but in a couple of years, they moved into a much larger house. Since Frisk was spending so much time with all their friends, Toriel decided they might as well all have a room there, and nearly all of them sleep over there pretty frequently. By this point, they’re almost as much one big family as they are friends. They also accepted the position of Ambassador of monsters, but didn’t really step into that role for a few years. The position requird a lot of knowledge that makes for a rather unfair responsibility to put on someone so young. Plus, most human world leaders would likely turn their nose up at negotiating with a child. Though Asgore’s role as king was now greatly reduced, and Toriel had long since renounced her position as queen, they stepped back into a more pronounced diplomatic role while Frisk was still learning. As a young adult, Frisk took on more and more responsibilities, finally flourishing in the role of ambassador. Shortly after the monsters leave the surface, they were recognised as having gone missing previously, which raised questions about where they came from before the Underground. They have only ever shared the full story with Toriel, and later Asgore, and they still don’t like to talk about it much. But between Toriel acquiring full custody, and Frisk finally opening up to at least one person about it all, they’ve made a ton of progress moving past whatever their old life was like. And they seem content to focus on their new life for now.  Frisk never found themselves in a position where they needed to muster up the Determination to SAVE or LOAD. They decided that this ending was one worth keeping, and left it as it was. One time, many years later, they tried to muster up the concentration to make a SAVE point just in case...and found they couldn’t. Perhaps whatever external influence had given them that power had left them. Maybe it went off to find something new to occupy its time...Anyway, with the burden of that power gone, Frisk is now free to devote themselves to their new life fully, and maybe that’s ok. While Frisk’s efforts do not single handedly rebuild bridges between humans and monsters (as such a task is far too big for one person) they do make a world of difference in establishing peace between the two during their career. Toriel Toriel finally fulfilled her dream of becoming a teacher when she opened a school for monster children. A couple of years later, she expanded to welcome humans as well, the first school to teach both human and monster children, leading others to follow. As headmistress she is very well-liked by her students. While there are a handful of jokes about how scary she can be when she’s angry, she is generally considered a caring figure to her students and a practical overseer of the school. She is still very good friends with Sans, and since both the brothers are already spending a lot of time with Frisk, she gets plenty of opportunities to trade jokes with him whenever the two show up to visit. She has also begun to practice cooking with Papyrus and Undyne. Papyrus is actually getting a bit better, and Undyne...well, Toriel appreciates her enthusiasm, even if she usually has to make time to clean up pretty thoroughly after a lesson.  Stepping into a teaching role also led Toriel back into her aptitude for magic, something she had only used for essentials for a long time. She began studying and researching the topic extensively, not just to better instruct her students, but for out of a long dormant intellectual curiousity. She has been an invaluable source of consultation for Alphys on multiple research papers as a result. Nor is Alphys the only one. While Toriel was once afriad to face her subjects after hiding away from them for so long, she finds herself a welcome presence of her community, even amongst humans. She ultimately ends up meeting many of the monsters Frisk met on their own journey and befriending them in her own right, be it lunches out with Dogamy and Dogaressa, or tea and sewing sessions with Muffet. Having such a social life is a little strange for someone who was alone in those ruins for so long, yet it feels oddly right. Toriel still remembers her lost children and she still misses them greatly. But settling down into a new life on the surface, fulfilling dreams she never thought she would and being part of a family again after all these years has helped her find contentment. Papyrus Papyrus is still comfortably living with Sans on the surface. The early adjustment period was quite hard for him. As happy as he was to finally be out and able to meet new people, his dreams of joining the Royal Guard had still been throughly dashed. Nonetheless, Undyne was still happy both to train him, in both magic and cooking. And this gave Papyrus time to think. He loved training with Undyne, and the feeling of improving himself and getting stronger. But he never wanted to use that power to hurt anyone. It was Undyne who suggested he try training other people in turn. Taking his friend’s advice, Papyrus opened a fitness gym, where humans and monsters could hone their bodies and/or magic in a safe, fun environment. And he quickly proved himself a surprisingly empathetic and supportive instructor, as well as being a unexpectedly strong and well-versed one. Maybe Undyne wasn’t kidding when she told Frisk how tough he was while training him. He’s still certainly an eccentric trainer of course. In particular, he has made a habit of offering his homemade spaghetti to anyone who seems to be getting tired while workig out. It certainly works. The offer alone is generally enough to make them hastily insist they’re fine to keep going another few sets! Papyrus and Sans both maintain an exceptionally close friendship with Frisk, and have sleepovers with them at least once a week, often more. He tends to be quite fussy over Frisk whenever they’re over, keen to insist they are well cared for, sometimes a lttle too zealously, often chiding Sans to help more whenever Frisk is their guest. However, Toriel is all to happy to leave her child in the brothers’ care, and at this point they’re basically a mix of uncles and big brothers to them. Papyrus is quick to notice that one of his friends never left the Underground, and still makes time to visit him whenever he can. He’s not sure why this one monster is so loathe to leave the mountain, but he’s still keen to make them feel a little less alone regardless. Papyrus once wanted nothing more than for people to like him. Now, with a fulfilling job and plenty of friends, more people like him than ever. But more than that, he can now say he likes himself plenty as well. Sans Of all Frisk’s friends, Sans might just have had the hardest and longest adjustment period to living on the surface. At least to those who knew him. Sure, he was mostly still his lazy, good-natured self, everybody’s carefree pal. But those who knew him best, Papyrus especially, could see that the smile didn’t always reach his eyes. And every now and then, he would spend the day laying in bed. He’d joke that he was over-rested from too much napping, so now he had to nap EVEN MORE. But neither Papyrus, nor Toriel, nor Frisk were convinced. The truth was that Sans hadn’t forgotten how trapped he’d once felt. Putting the pieces together and guessing (rightly) that the world around him was looping, was a bitter pill to swallow. And the painful thought that nothing he did would matter was not an easy one to forget. He was still happy to be a good friend to Toriel and a good brother to Papyrus, but he couldn’t fully convince himself that he wasn’t just going to wake up one day back in his room in Snowdin. And as happy as he was to have Frisk over, there was always the awkwardness of something that was being left unsaid. Eventually Sans finally gave in and asked Frisk one day if they were going to reset. But Frisk, not sounding terribly surprised that Sans knew this, said they weren’t. That they were sticking with this. As much as Sans wanted to believe them, it seemed too good to be true. Then the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, months into years, and still no reset. And somewhere along the way, Sans started to believe a little. Those listless days in bed started to grow less frequent, his smile seemed a little wider and more genuine. And he seemed warmer to Frisk than ever. He even became quite protective of them. Whenever any narrow minded human had any intentions of harming the Ambassador, they would quickly find themselves caught in a cage of bones. What was once a promise to look after the kid for Tori’s sake, was now a personal vow to look after a true friend who’d helped him out of a very dark place, and keep them safe. Aside from that, Sans is much the same as ever. He can still be found at Grillby’s new venue most days, he’s still a frequent visitor at Frisk and Toriel’s house and he’s even become surprisingly good friends with Alphys. Turns out the lovable lazy skeleton is a little more of a dork than he lets on, and he doesn’t mind lazing around binge watching Alphys’ latest shows or joining her to play a video game. Plus it’s one more way he can shirk off the last thing Papyrus told him to do. Occasonally, Alphys can weedle some surprisingly profound scientific knowledge out of him during their time together. But he usually complains that recalling that is too much work, nor has he ever talked about where he learned it. It took a lot of time, and a lot of work for Sans to really feel at home on the surface. But now Sans is probably the most content, and the most alive he’s felt in years. Undyne With the Royal Guard disbanded, Undyne found herself on the surface but out of a job. Sure, being out of the Underground was fun and all, but for someone so dedicated to her training, it was a little hard to find something to fill in the time. Then one day, as she and Alphys were watching yet another anime she had an idea. The show in question featured a martial arts tournament, where people could put their skills to the test in competition. A place to fight where nobody could get hurt (mostly). ‘Man’, she thought to herself. ‘If only humans had something like THAT!’ Except, hold on...they do. Undyne signed up for classes in karate and the rest was history. She ultimately took classes in tons of different martial arts, and, when she was ready, she began entering local wrestling tournaments. Over the years, she carved out a fearsome career in professional wrestling. Under the alias of the ‘Legendary Hero’ (a name originally born out of a sponsorship deal with MTT that ended up sticking) she had plenty of wins under her belt. She has now has no shortage of fans, humans and monster alike, and helped encourage other monsters to enter professional sports fields, changing the industry drastically. Outside of her matches, Undyne still makes plenty of time for her friends. Papyrus’ gym tends to be her training venue of choice (when she first showed up Papyrus wasn’t sure whether to cry of joy or reinforce every piece of equipment ASAP), and will still spar with Papyrus and Frisk whenever she has time.  Sometimes she’ll volunteer to do a training course at Toriel’s school. When she does the students are half in awe, and half dreading how throughly she’ll put them through their paces. This also led her to interact more with Toriel on her personal level, and while making small talk with the fabled ‘lost queen of the Underground’ (as well as her mentor’s ex) was decidedly awkward, the two eventually became friends, and even have cooking lessons together. Plus, she and Alphys still make time to visit Asgore whenever they can. Speaking of Alphys, their relationship has also progressed since the Barrier broke. They started dating in earnest once the dust had cleared and monsters were established on the surface and eventually moved in together. They remain firmly supportive of each others’ work, with Alphys never missing one of her girlfriend’s matches. Undyne has also helped Alphys to better come out of her shell. They started going to conventions together, meeting new people along the way.  A couple of years down the line the two made the step to get married. When they did, Undyne asked Asgore to walk her down the aisle. Eventually, the necesarry arrangements were made for them to have a kid together, and, with their new daughter, the three now live together happily. They’re also still delighted to have Frisk over whenever, and effectively became their cool aunts. Undyne may not have become the legendary warrior who struck down the last human for the sake of all monsters. But what she now is still pretty legendary as far as she’s concerned. Alphys Much like Undyne, Alphys too had to find a new path in life after losing her job as Royal Scientist. Not that she really minded. That was a part of her life she was more than happy to leave behind. Her first major concern was helping each of the Amalgamates get settled back in with their families, since she naturally felt responsible for them. She had steeled herself to expect the worst from their relatives, and some definitely took the truth worse than others. But mostly she was surprised by how many were just happy to get their loved ones back. Some even thanked her for it. This left Alphys deep in thought for a long while, unsure what to think after finding some closure to the events that her haunted her for years. She eventually sought out professional therapy. After a while, it led her to accept that, even if her past experiments had caused unexpected harm, they’d done some good as well. And there was no reason she couldn’t learn from her mistakes, and use her talents to help people. Soon she set to work in her little lab in her and Undyne’s home. Across the later years, Alphys made a variety of inventions that combined human advancements in science, with the unique magic of monsters, to help improve the quality of life for both. Using helpful devices like the Dimensional Box as a starting point, her creations helped improve the lives of humans and monsters across the world. But she had two important caveats. She would accept no governmental or (especially) military funding. The profits from these devices were more than enough for her and Undyne to live comfortably, and she didn’t want to be back in a position of being obligated to do research she knew was wrong. And no experiment that involved directly experimenting on human or monster bodies in any way. All of this has helped Alphys feel more fulfilled than ever. Where before she felt cursed to ruin everything she touched, and that her craft had only resulted in what she considered evil, now she was helping all kinds of people. And it means a great deal to her to this day. Outside of that, she has a pretty comfortable life. She still loves to unwind with a good anime, and has even begun dipping her toes into the communal side of fandom. Whether that be online communities, or even going to conventions (Undyne is always happy to join in on a cosplay) and all sorts of things Alphys never dreamt she would have the nerve to do. But throughout it all, Undyne has remained her rock, always able to cheer her up on her bad days, and encourage her on her good ones. Between this, striking up a friendship with Sans, and getting to spend time with Asgore in a non professional context, Alphys has more friends now than she ever thought possible. But as much as she loves her daughter, as much as she values her friends, or as much as she joins everyone in spending time at Frisk and Toriel’s house, it’s still sometimes nice to take time to herself to unwind and rewatch Mew Mew Kissy Cuitie...even if Season Two still sucks. Asgore Asgore’s road to making a new life on the surface was...complicated to say the least. For one thing, he was incredibly busy right from the off. Most of the diplomacy needed to make peace with humanity once monsters were reintroduced to the world naturallly fell to him. And many monsters who had settled down in Ebott still came to him for help with numerous small matters.Still, Asgore appreciated the distraction. Outside of that, Asgore mostly kept to himself, in a small house with a garden for him to tend to. Asgore was all too happy to help monsters re-integrate into surface life, but truthfully, he still didn’t really feel he himself deserved to do the same. He tended to avoid contact with people unless they came looking for him, still believing he didn’t deserve to enjoy a peaceful life with the blood he had on his hands. And yet, to his surprise, people still wanted to come to him. His subjects still valued his advice, and applauded his efforts to negotiate with human world leaders. Alphys and Undyne still visited him whenever they could. And most of all, Frisk still seemed to want to talk to him. Asgore had convinced himself that Frisk would never want to see him again. After all, he’d try to kill them. Besides, seeing Frisk meant seeing Toriel, and he could hardly bear to look her in the face. Yet still, Frisk would ask Toriel to bring them round to visit after school, to which she eventually, if somewhat reluctantly, relented. He would spend the day making them tea, playing with them, working the gardens with them, or just being a confidant to the child. After everything he’d done, this human child still wanted him to be a part of their life. And not just them, but countless monsters. It was more than Asgore felt he deserved.  It was a few months after the first of these days looking after them that Frisk called Asgore ‘Dad’ for the first time. He nearly burst into tears on the spot. Shortly after the immediate aftermath of the Barrier’s destruction had died down, Asgore made quiet, private arrangements to find the relatives of the six fallen humans. He thought it best to deal with the matter on his own terms and take full responsibility, lest it make life harder for monsters trying to live alongside humans. Their reactions...varied. For some, it had happened so long ago that none of their immediate families were alive, and their descendants were just relieved to have closure. Others were angrier and more hostile. But all of them eventually recieved some form of resolution and support. It wasn’t an easy task, but one Asgore thought was important to do. ...Asgore even tried to find out about who Chara’s family might have been. But he turned up no results. He’d been afraid that might happen. Asgore is still mostly quite withdrawn in his social life, but outside of his role as king, he still has his fair share of friends. While his old friend Rudy fell down a long time ago, he still checks in on his daughter whenever he can. He still sees Gerson on occasion as well, who is always keen to swap old stories. He now happily embraces his role as Frisk’s father figure and has them over most weekends and the odd weekday. And of course, plenty of his subjects still respect him enough to ask for his help with their problems, and he’ll always sit them down with a hot cup of tea to hear their troubles. Of course, spending time with Frisk meant spending time with Toriel, which was...awkward. Toriel was still understandably angry over everything, but they wordlessly agreed that, both for Frisk’s safe and their diplomatic roles, it was important they try to get along. But it was plain to all that there was a lot going unsaid. It was Alphys who eventually convinced them to sit down and talk through everything that happened. Lay all their cards on the table, everything they’d felt, and gone through since that day. Not a pleasant prospect for either but, remembering how forgiving and merciful Frisk had been to the both of them, both chose to follow their example. These talks were long, and difficult, but ultimately cathartic for both parties. It didn’t magically fix everything, far from it, but with their newfound understanding, the two gradually found themselves able to spend time together comfortably, which was especially important as Asgore became a bigger part of Frisk’s life. As a final olive branch, Toriel offered Asgore a job as gardener at her school. Deeply touched by this expression of trust, Asgore accepted. Between spending time together at the school and co-parenting Frisk, Asgore and Toriel began to build the first steps of a new friendship. It was undoutbtedly a tentative one given what they’d been through, but genuine all the same. And, several years later, by which time Frisk was already almost an adult, they began to remember why they’d once fallen in love in the first place. Of course, neither had forgotten why they had seperated either and so they knew better than to ‘get back together’ officially. But over the course of several ‘not-dates’, they slowly started to build...something. It wasn’t what they’d had before, but it was something new. They’re still slowly working at it, ignoring any comments about how ‘everyone else can see it’. For now, they’re both content to see where this goes. They’re still Frisk’s parents whatever happens.  Asgore is still the gardener at Toriel’s school, where he is well liked by the students. Being around children is a pleasant reminder of happy times for Asgore, and his hedgework and carefully nurtured flowerbeds are a source of pride for the school. Deep down, Asgore still has bad days where he feels he doesn’t deserve any part of this new life. But each day, it gets just a little bit easier to believe it. Mettaton Mettaton’s stardom in the Underground carried through into his surface life. His performances are still widely watched by monster from all over. Winning over the brand new, enormous demographic of humans is a tough task, but it’s a challenge Mettaton was willing to take on. And he did eventually make his way into the mainstream, developing a lengthy career in both film and music, with human and monster fans alike. Because of this, unlike many of the others, Mettaton chose not to settle down in Ebott, but he still made sure to keep on eye on his friends who did.  Eventually, Mettaton saw the efforts his friends were making, as ambassadors, inventors, diplomats and the like, to make life better for monsters, and he began to wonder if he could do more with his fame. After this period of SOUL searching, Mettaton began using his platform to advocate for unity between humans and monsters, and taking roles in movies with human and monster casts and crews. The day he fought Frisk in the Underground taught Mettaton the positive impact he had the potential to make on his fans through his art. And he’s more committed to that than ever. Naturally, such a busy career often keeps him on the move, but he will occasionally make time to make a low profile visit to Ebott (or a high profile one if he feels like it). When he does, Napstablook and Alphys are always his first ports of call, and there’s generally a day out shopping with Frisk on the agenda at some point (anything to get them out of that tacky striped shirt). As part of her research, Alphys has sought his advice on how to build more mechanical bodies for those who want or need them, and, touched by her efforts, he’s happy to share his experience when she’s coming up with new designs.  It’s odd really. Despite being more famous than ever, Mettaton has found that’s not actually why he’s so happy with himself right now. Flowey Even as all the other monsters chose to go up and live their lives on the surface, Flowey alone, stayed behind. Much like he once told Frisk, he simply couldn’t bring himself to leave the Underground. Maybe he didn’t feel he deserved it after all he’d done. Maybe this self imposed exile was his idea of punishment. Maybe he just didn’t want to re-open his parents’ centruies-old wounds of grief. Maybe it was all of those reasons. Whatever his logic, he stayed. Occasionally, he would get visits from either Frisk or Papyrus, neither of whom had forgotten him and both resolved to keep him company. Frisk always made sure to let him know that Asgore and Toriel were both doing fine. Every time either of them visited, they asked Flowey to come with them. Every time, Flowey said no. He never regressed to the state he’d been in before he met Frisk. Just because he turned back into a flower and lost his SOUL again didn’t mean he’d forgotten what these experiences had taught him. But becoming the person he once was, even for a moment, just made it even harder to believe he’d ever really be accepted out there after everything he’d done and everyone he’d hurt. Left to his own devices, Flowey was true to his word and spent most of his time taking care of the flowers. Flowey’s magic had always allowed him to manipulate plant life, but now he was using it to nurture the various plants of the Underground. Slowly, he learned to use his magic not to kill, but to give life. Under his care, the various areas of the Underground became some of the most famous sites of natual beauty on Earth. Now that the Underground is easy and safe to reach, people come from miles around to see the plants that now grow there. There are rumours of some guardian who has grown the Underground into what it is today, but no one has ever seen him. Over the next few years as he tended to the kingdom alone, Flowey came to realise something. For so long, he’d thought that all he could do was destroy. That was the only thing left to do after countless time loops had numbed him to everything else. Yet here he was, using his powers to heal, to grow, to make the Underground he’d once terrorised so much more beautiful. Is it possible, then that he could do the same on the surface? It is then, and only then, that Flowey agrees to go with Frisk outside the mountain. Even after this experience, Flowey’s life is not smooth sailing. He never recovers his SOUL to restore his original form. As a result, his capacity to feel emotions and empathy is not entirely as it once was. But there are plenty of factors other than his SOUL-essness that made Flowey into who he became, and there are parts of himself he can still work on, SOUL or no SOUL. Flowey is still very dry and reserved in his deameanor, but he’s not willfully cruel like he once was. He still struggles to say the right thing at times, but he’s learning. He’s been able to rekindle his friendship with Papyrus. The two were implied to be much closer friends in earlier time loops, and Flowey hopes that he’ll be able to make something new in pace of what he once reset away. Asgore and Toriel are happy to meet another of Frisk’s friends, but he’s reluctant to tell them the full story of who he once was. Maybe someday he’ll tell them. But for now, he’s just glad to see that they’re happy. And while he pretends it doesn’t matter to him as he’s not that person anymore, he’ll still constantly hound Frisk for details once Asgore and Toriel start spending more time together. That said, there is one person who Flowey still struggles to get on with. Sans may not remember anything that happened in the previous resets, but he at least guesses who the other person was besides Frisk, who had that power. While he puts on a friendly air for Frisk and Papyrus’ sake, he never trusts Flowey entirely, and their exchanges tend to be pretty terse and snarky when their mutual friends aren’t around. Flowey may never have the life he once had back. But he seems to be on the way to making something new in its place. Chara This will be the shortest, because not much needs to be said. Even if Frisk never even knew they were there, observing Frisk on their journey through the Underground gave Chara a lot of time to think. For a long time, their life had given them no reason but to believe the worst of humanity. Their ‘plan’ was just as much a revenge quest against the people who once hurt them as it was a bid to save the monsters they loved. And their last memory was being held back, betrayed, in a sense, by their brother as the humans took everything from them yet again. Suffice to say, when a strong source of Determination awoke them from death, they had little reason to see any worth in humans, or monsters, or the world in general. Perhaps, in another time, they might have met someone else who validated those dark thoughts. Someone who made the wrong choices, who led Chara themselves to the worst possible conclusion... And yet, that’s not what happened. What they saw instead was a child who only offered mercy to a kingdom that wanted them dead. They saw a child with the power over time itself who used that power to help people. They saw their family find healing and redemption through the actions of this stranger. They saw their sibling find himself again, and make his peace with their own departure. In watching so many monsters find their catharsis through Frisk’s actions, Chara found a degree of catharsis themselves. Maybe they were wrong. Maybe humans weren’t as bad as they thought. Maybe power wasn’t everything. Maybe the future of humans and monsters their father once spoke of still existed. Finally able to let go of their anger, Chara is free for the first time. And with the source of Determination leaving after the credits roll, there’s nothing to keep them bound to this world anymore. After all, what do ghosts do in all those old stories when their unfinished business is resolved? With everything finally settled and no Determination to anchor them anymore, Chara is able to pass on peacefully, at long last, safe in the knowledge that their friends will be fine without them....

And that concludes my Undertale Post Pacifist headcanons for all the major characters. I hope it was an enjoyable read. I think it’s safe to say this game made a huge impact on a ton of people who played it, and their reactions are all very personal. As such, I know full well that these are just my projections and interpretations of what happens after the ending. But I think the fact that this game left enough of an impression that I wrote this much says something about its quality. I’m so sorry these are all so sappy. But I’m not as funny as Toby Fox, I’m afriad. Also, good lord, I didn’t mean this to be so long. If you somehow read the whole of this mess then thanks. It’s nice to think at least someone enjoys the crazed ramblings I call my blog.

#undertale #post-pacifist #pacifist route #frisk #toriel #papyrus #sans #undyne #alphys #asgore #mettaton #flowey #chara #headcanon #character analysis? kinda? #look i just want all these guys to be a found family ok? #undertale spoilers