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silvertsundere · 1 year

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Silver Talks AniManga (02/04/23)

I was actually also gonna catch up on hiropre, but then I decided to read the jigokuraku manga so I'm putting that on the backburner til I'm done with reading the manga, it's gonna be airing for a year so I'm in no rush tbh

looooooots of stuff this week tho sheesh I got busy (and it could've been more cause there was some more semi recent stuff I wanted to start to but decided to postpone it for a bit) edit: oops forgot about jiangshi x ch11 it's in there now tho after demon bride

Anime

Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero

gohan blanco is real!!!!

this is basically just the stuff I said on discord but touched up

the cg was astounding really, I had big doubts but it really did look great, however it can never beat traditional animation no amount of flashy particle effects can beat actual sakuga the story didn't really do anything, it felt like a filler episode even if it's canon, it felt like an excuse just to introduce new characters and transformations for merch and the games, "But Silver that's every movie!!" and yeah but at least BoG and Broly had lore and stuff gohan beast kicked cell once and did the makankosapo and that was it, VERY lame, I love gohan and piccolo so it was nice for them to get some spolight instead of it always being the goku show BUT I wish beast actually got to fight some like gogeta blue 😔 it was neat seeing RR again and all those old dragon ball moments reanimated as someone who's watched the original too

Jigokuraku Ep1

before starting the ep I was looking for a tl of the manga so I can devour it next, was just gonna read it after the ep but ended up going through all of chap 1 anyway tehe anyway it was good at the start of the ep I thought it was gonna cover more than just chap 1 cause of the pacing but ended up just being all of chap 1 which is fair enough I guess they played it by the books and didn't deviate from the source at all was hoping for a bit of sakuga when he does the jutsu at the end but was basically the same as the manga just with a bit more spice it's got a star studded cast tho I'm looking forward to it, and I will be plowing through the manga like I said there

Manga

Jigokuraku Ch1 - 11

like I said up above I'm gonna be obliterating the manga, it's only 128 chaps so I should be done before the next episode easily, but anyway I hadn't read this before but I did read Kaku's newest manga, Ayashimon, while it ran on jump. I liked it but it unfortunately got axed at 25 chaps. tho just from the 1st chap of jigokuraku I can tell that the gap between them is a massive and it's cancelation is more understandable now. anyway onto jigoku, it's good. simple as that. the art is as good as it was in ayashimon but the story and all the characters are just much more interesting, and I'm only like 1/10th in. don't got much more to say cause of how little I've read so far, but I'll certainly be finished before next saturday really looking forward to Takarie's performance as yuzuriha after seeing how she is in the manga

Stan for Salvation Ch 1-7

angels and demons gain power based on how many people believe in them, so what would happen if a group of demons was one of the most popular idol bands in japan?

that's the premise of the series. michael shows up to defeat some demons and gets obliterated because he has 5 "faith" compared to the demon's 530k, so he decides to become an idol too in order to level the playing field. over the next few chaps more of the archangels join and hijinks ensue. I thought it was just gonna be bishie bait but it's not too bad tbh

Pension Life Vampire Ch1

monsters from vampires to kappa are real and they're in a cold war with the humans.. or they were until peace was achieved our protagonist below had trained her whole life to fight monster and now that there's peace she doesn't know what to do with her life after going back to school and trying to be a normal person she ends up finding a vampire and after stuff™ happens they become friends the art is very cute and it looks like it'll be a nice chill series the author's previous work, Futari Escape, was straight up yuri so I'll be having my goggles really strapped on for this

Dandadan Ch99

really had a whole chap dedicated to this fool huh ARGH I swear to god if okarun doesn't show up at the end of next chap it's gonna be such a wasted opportunity

One Punch Man Ch180

tatsumaki cute, that is all

Kaiju 8 Ch83

extremely pog chap very cool to see kafka back in action after so long

Shuumatsu no Valkyrie Ch75 & 76

chapters for this come out so infrequently that I don't check that often and oops apparently 2 came out in the past weeks and I didn't notice, anyway at the start of this fight I wasn't too sure about it but ended up being really good as usual, the end result was what I expected tho considering the current standings

Ichigoki's Under Control!! Ch17

another very bad chap, at least there should only be 1 or 2 more left

The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins Ch19 Ginka & Gluna Ch28 Fabricant 100 Ch16

not much to say tbh, just ok chaps

Tokyo Demon Bride Ch29 (Finale)

it's a shame it never really did that well in ranking and ended up getting cut short like this, tho it could've been shorter if there wasn't such a big gap between new serializations this time. but anyway

it was alright, it's strongest point was certainly the art, from chap 1 til the end it was consitently good, with very clean visuals and great designs, however the story wasn't too impressive, it stuck to doing the "monster of the week" thing for a while and when the threat of cancelation became apparent it started to introduce more plot but it wasn't interesting enough and it was too late to save, after which it rushed to the ending trying to hit the big plot moments they prob had planned from the beggining. it's a shame really, I quite liked it, the cast was likeable and as I said the art was good, I will be looking forward to whatever the author's next work may be

Jiangshi X Ch11

I'm calling it now but the dad's gonna get turned into a jiangshi and the mc is gonna end up having to fight him, and surprass him, before fighting the big baddie

Cipher Academy Ch18

cool chap, always nice to see iroha being cool and showing off, also really like the visuals of the cover and the spread

Witch Watch Ch103

totally didn't expect to get more fran on the very next chap, it's very much welcome, she's cute

Spy x Family Ch78

nice little chap about the handler which also doubled as a bond chapter, had been a while

Blue Box Ch95

another very good chap, that ending tho ARGH

Mashle Ch150

we really got the backstory for that lil shit huh? I know it's just to buy time til mash wakes up but still

Sakamoto Days Ch113

so many cool action scenes let's goooo

The Elusive Samurai Ch104

nice chap, mostly a set up for the upcoming big battle, tho I didn't expect this guy to die already

Undead Unluck Ch153

very good chap, it's cool to see fuuko working together with everyone like this

Akane-banashi Ch56

great chap as usual, love to see akane power up, but things won't be so easy as they look, especially with that new guy and now the seiyuu in the picture

Ayakashi Triangle Ch125

interesting development at the end to say the least monka

#silver talks animanga

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blysse-and-blunder · 2 years

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in lieu of a commonplace book: canada-th day of july

sunday, july 3, 2022, just before midnight

typing this on my phone so it’s going to be short and sweet, no links, no visual interest, just a quick debrief before another week goes by — also because I forgot I can’t add a read-more on mobile 🤦‍♀️

reading having a rough time finishing things lately; my bedside table is stacked with books in progress where I’ve stalled out a few chapters after the half-way point, as soon as it feels like I’ve got The Twist figured out or am at all worried about where things are going. have finally gotten both iron widow and perdido street station from the library, making progress on both in fits and starts despite the visceral reaction I’ve had to both at various moments (no book has ever made me want to take a shower like perdido street but damn, china meiville has an ear for language. someone should tell him to find a different word than ‘flesh’ though, probably). for canada day I gave some time to apparent can-lit classic marian engel’s bear, which is also a masterclass in prose style and which i’ve also stalled out on, despite its short length, due to the uh. sense of foreboding i have based on what i have been told happens.

watching is there a weird gap between these two sections? huh. don’t like that. anyway I didn’t post a roundup last week due to Friend Wedding Shenanigans so let me mention here, fire island was a delight and a genuine escape when I very much wanted one, conrad ricomora is a fantastic darcy and the parallels w/ the 2005 p&p made us screech several times, but the twists in the adaptation felt both smooth and effective. weirdly good lighting, also joel kim booster’s name is extremely fun to say and he can get it, also. this week, I came closer to catching up with strange new worlds (in-universe justifications aside, we love a campy fairy tale episode! childhood medical trauma feelings aside! The cast had so much fun!) and stranger things 4, although I have only just gotten to ep 3 in that one. I have blacklisted ‘stranger things’ on here, because I’m not caught up yet and have already got a sense of some of the finale fall out, so it’ll be fun to see whether I can even see this post once I finish it. for my own peace of mind, i also have carried on with ep 3 of rookie historian goo hae-ryung, which continues to be an unalloyed delight, despite some general misogyny and hazing of our girl and her new friends this ep. highlights include the scene where the crown prince demanded she defend her exam answer, and we got to see some of his approach to government/ritual as well as his (grudging?) acknowledgement of her skill, on top of her idealism vs his realism, very good loved it. perhaps the real stand-out this week was @hematiterings and i starting gentleman jack at long last (wild that neither of us had never seen any of it, tbh) and being immediately fascinated by her Whole Thing, all of it, she’s a truly fantastic Awful Female Character by which I mean, deliciously awful if you’re into letting women be awful.

listening had a hard time settling to listen to any one thing this week, aside from a lot of road trip / cottage trip Dad rock, 80s and 90s hits, a la Boston’s “More than a Feeling” which l, yes, is playing on repeat in my head. finished D20’s Fantasy High but have had a hard time committing to either bloodkeep or unsleeping city, and am possibly getting back around to crit role and or exandria unlimited instead.

playing saved up the down payment for tom nook for my house in ac: new leaf! played the board game azul with my housemates last night and won for the first time! harvested some crops and finished the summer bundle for stardew! did a word search on the bus with housemate E today!

making another day, another cracked piece of glazed bisque dish ware, this time a bowl my cousin painted me for christmas 2003. rather than let it sink in that that was basically two decades ago now, I have superglued it back together. it’ll probably never hold soup again, but popcorn? veggie sticks? anything…mostly dry? absolutely. it occurs to me to think about how this section of my ilcb posts so often becomes a ‘mending’ section rather than a proper ‘making’ section, and then to get off that train of thought at the being proud of myself for the care i take of my belongings station rather than riding all the way to worrying about being surrounded by clumsily patched and shabby possessions because I can’t throw anything away. hmm.

working on failed utterly at finishing the June ra-ship work in the contracted june timeframe, so the plan for tomorrow is to return to the Actual Long Term project but to take a super efficient hour or two to chip away at the leftover notes. it’s taking so long because I’m a) anxious b) having to do this w/out a lot of help, but here’s a note for future me: no one cares about this as much as you’re afraid they will, just do your best and get it done.

#in lieu of a commonplace book #weekly roundup #ilcb

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incarnateirony · 4 years

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Hi! I’m still not really over the last episode (and that happy montage in the end i-) and I’m feel confused about what’s part of the episode was fake. I mean the end totally is. But all Chuck scene was superweird too. And sometimes i think that it should be Cas instead of Lucifer and Jack felt him. I mean... confused! How do you feel about that?

Okay so here’s the thing -- this is a multifaceted episode--

BuckLeming, while often herded efficiently by Dabb, can muddy up the textual waters, leave gaps, and things unexplained.

However, that doesn’t account for Showalter’s choices in direction. Dutch shots out the ASS which are typically used to evoke that something is "wrong." Lots of panoramas, tracking shots, zooms and blurs in ways that simply are-not-standard for SPN. Extreme aerial shots.

One might even think “maybe it’s Chuck looking in on them!” but then you realize the same overhead view zoomed out on *Chuck* even and panned out to the horizon again.

One of the early mega-zooms literally zoomed out to The World, even. I’m just gonna gesture people to my tag on that and let them think on that, much less the empty world orbiting on the news or whatever the hell else.

There were *several* Cas-baits, yes. Yes, that was intentional from our actual authors.

But when it comes down to “fake episode”, here’s where we were at.

15.17-19 run immediately concurrently. At the end of 17, Chuck says this was his ending.

Now, the Winchesters largely derailed that ending, so Chuck was writing new material.

But Chuck is also seeking death.

He wrote a suicide note in 11. He wrote the story that would end in him and Amara being eradicated. And whatever influence he was exerting forcefully with Michael and Lucifer to bop the story around was all in the interest of seeing his book. One might think “to keep the Winchesters from killing him”, but he was desperate to see what his ending WAS, to know it and experience it and scream after them.

The dour taking of “no one cares” right after “I care(d)” about humanity is its own highlight going on. But wait, there’s MORE.

When Dabb dropped his pre-episode thing, we started talking before the episode.

So I mean, I think what we were *mostly* witnessing is the pen being ripped away.

But this is that emptiness that lingers even with Chuck generally resolved. They’re still kinda on the pages. The book is presented as shut, and the next steps are not taken. Development stops, if not drops.

This entire thing is so meta my damn head hurts.

Summarily: Is it just like, some weird AU that’s gonna go away? Not so much. Is it an incomplete portion of the story told from a skew? Absolutely. And is there still someone watching over them? T’would seem so. The whole World, even. Beyond Chuck.

Now the point at which we start blocking off issues of “eugenie writes like she’s 3″ is where we ask about things like “god power” or whatever else being thrown in the mix along with eugenie’s ki ball special effects that are literally always unique to her episodes, even if other people have to add the SFX.

So while it was a good bit of masterful work to do it via buckleming for this style of bump, it still inevitably has its flaws because... buckleming. But... Showalter was there. And one thing to note is almost every single scene entrance had some sort of major pan or zoom effect. That’s not typical for him.

The entire thing is designed to evoke, directorially:

One style: crooked shots, unlevel, unbalanced, uneasy feeling.

Second style: Over-under; some force is watching them on high, while others have a sort of brechtian absurdity, which seats it like a play on an elevated stage.

We are the audience, looking up at figures half the episode; but a second audience is looking in from “on high” and out over the world. As if perhaps even from the heavens.

Third style: CSI Miami, basically? Parts of this episode were sectioned off to be like a procedural crime drama in its cinematography and flashbacks. Which is ironic, because Dean loathes procedural dramas, but at the same time some of this fandom demands a procedural monster show instead of a family drama show.

Sam and Dean barely have any lines in the episode *until* we hit Crime Drama Time. Then suddenly, they reveal all of their case work. Despite Dean’s hatred of crime dramas, this is honestly when I feel like the brothers kicked in their own pen.

Let’s play a game-- the winchesters are aware they can write their own story. So they start telling the story they think people want to hear, or maybe just fill in the gaps from when Chuck gets dropped on his ass. Maybe Dean’s the one writing about how many times god punched them in the face whereas Sam is breaking down the crime scene investigation front. Another, where it feels like we’re loosely circling the war table as others lightly wander too.

But everything before that is the first and second style, and even after that, the overview-angle remains. The uneasiness is gone but there is an emptiness otherwise. But we are no longer spectators from beneath the stage, but staring into them.

I still very much expect everyone to “die” one more time and several specifics to choose to walk back into life at the end of it.

Is it a *complete* false narrative? No. We’re not just gonna turn around and be like “oh that whole ep didn’t happen.” But the writer lost his pen and got jacked at one point, while we also observed the stage from a series of angles as different audiences.

Riddle me this: Why show the World? “Because it’s empty and just them!” okay but there’s a lot of ways to show that which actually gets that point a whole lot better across than “here, here’s a planet that still looks lit up”--yes I know electricity is still running until stuff runs out but essentially speaking, the end of the episode shows us the kind of dramatic shots that could be used for that.

CASey just poofed in the World in the TV, seems legit.

Let’s see these overhead angles again, knowing it isn’t just Chuck.

This sort of overview is known for causing a “dollhouse effect” that derealizes the episode and makes them seem, well, like toys. Which is interesting. Because Chuck isn’t the only one watching them on high.

Cool, this is fine.

Either way, the entire episode is DESIGNED to cause some major uncanny valley. There’s a lot of parts that simply *haven’t been told or filled in.* It’s almost like evasive maneuvering, half the content just never made it to print, and what did wasn’t in its best draft. There may be battling authors, or a transition of authorship. But the thing is: this is not the complete story.

There is an entire missing section about Sam and Dean even finding out that Jack is a power siphon which they hadn’t witnessed yet much less arranged an entire plan.

Even Chuck’s episodes are generally told from the general POVs of the Winchesters, but this was absolutely not.

Matthew 28: 18: And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Put a pin in that one.

Unless CHUCK IS WRITING HIS OWN FAKE DRAMATIC END, the overhead view, however, IS NOT CHUCK PERSPECTIVE.

-- Regardless, the metaness of “fish in a toilet bowl BRL plot” stacked into this makes it very difficult to accurately decipher the lines, especially with only one watch so far--just skimming back through right now to grab a few things I remember.

Some parts are plot salad buckleming.

Some parts are us as forced spectators of a stage play.

some parts are shifting authorship

Some parts are the heavens looking out over the earth it loves.

------

It almost feels as if, within enclosed spaces, unsteadiness and stageplay, we have Chuck’s POV.

But by the end it ceases to have any relevance, as he is no longer the author, and instead, we have the Presence of Being overseeing them, letting the Winchesters argue for their own proverbial pen in their own storytellings between here and there.

ALTERNATE PROPOSAL:

it is all one point of view. All of it. Pretend you’re someone’s eyes on a situation, you just happen to be in the sky half the time, and the uncanny valley is pulling forward the concept of being a presence that simply isn’t *there.* For example we're looking extremely closely at passed out dean but the camera turns and raises to level with Sam before Dean gets up. Our viewership lens is rising to meet Sam.

The camera stays in motion to fill a role or slot of a viewer. At first it’s haunting and ominous, but at other times, it’s simply part of the room, when it isn’t hovering from on high. Rather than speaking of empty space, we are viewing The World through that empty space, as if it were a Being.

Just a few more eye catching shots.

But whoever or whatever frames the end, even without Chuck--like the story is still turning on the pages, roughly.

The montage at the end feels like the Swan Song one, more or less, but there’s no narrator, no chuck.

The writer, the writer we know at least, is Absent.

Men are writing their own Stories.

But they aren’t alone.

I know how you see yourself. Angry and dark like your father. You think that’s what you are. But you are the most loving man in the whole world. That is who you are.

Someone does care. Even if right now, Sam and Dean don’t feel like anyone does.

...Because of you. I cared. For you, for Sam, for Jack, for the Whole World.

I cared.

“That’s not who I am.”

I am.

I speak therefore I am.

#supernatural #spn #15.19 #meta #my meta #the world #world #absence #being #polol

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aeempress · 3 years

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Apritello Express Evidences, part 3

Apritello, my dear friends, is really all hints, devil in details, little pieces that, in the end, become a huge picture.

I can't say that there are a lot of episodes with April and Donnie spending quality time together, no. But all episodes are important to understand how their relationship are involving, growing. If you have sharp eyes and think about all of this even a little bit, you will be surprised how gracefully their relationship changes and grows, how characters evolve.

Dear passengers, we're about to start. Mind the gap!

Episodes “The Gumbus” and “Mrs. Cuddles”.

I think it would be appropriate to analyze these episodes in bunch, because they have common situations of spooky supernatural stuff and reactions of characters to this.

When you watch these two eps in raw, it's easy to see how alike are reactions of Donnie and April in some scary, really odd situations.

Adrenaline ‘n’ reclessness

April is really into all spooky things in “The Gumbus”, she's not afraid of some creepy stuff and she's really brave girl who easily copes with stressful and life-threatening situations.

Donnie is incredibly calm and collected when alive doll talked to him.

But still, April was frightened about plush rabbit because it was really unexpected for girl, she wasn’t ready to realize that plush doll that she’d worked with is alive fear-eating monster who will hurt and intimidate to get their precious screams. But point remains: Donnie and April share crazy fearlessness, which turns into an adrenaline addiction.

And here I am, a science guy, who tell you: adrenaline is a big deal for our body. This hormone can even provoke an onset of romantic feelings. Chemistry and anatomy come to fill the gaps: when a person is afraid, their pulse quickens, a cocktail of hormones is releasing into the blood, which sharpen the senses and reflexes. It will create a strong emotional bound, that's important for maintaining romantic kind of feelings. The more impressions there are (even negative ones), the higher the chance that person will remember his|her partner, and want to see them again – the body gets hooked on adrenaline, like a drug.

That’s why D&A have so strong, unshakeable boundaries. They are so alike: their attitude to scary things, the way Donnie and April cope with them, the adrenaline addiction their share. They even express feelings the same way.

And one tiny detail: April and Donnie start the teasing Raph for his fear of mrs. Cuddles. So they become the first victims of plushie.

Friendly reminder: they were the 1st victims, and what’s happened with them we don’t know, because it wasn’t shown due to not ruin the atmosphere of suspense.

But we have a beautiful quote of mrs. Cuddles and this precious shot which explain everything

Raph: Where’s Donnie?

Cuddles: In a happy place where he’ll scream and I can grow forever and now you’re gonna join him!

In a happy place, huh? Tied up with April in Splinter’s bedroom, a really happy place. Hold a sec, are they -

And after that Donnie’s responding is killing me.

Donnie:[OS] I'm afraid of togetherness.

Yep. All normal here. We should continue.

"Operation Normal" even though doesn't show a lot of interactions between April and Donnie, however continues the general outline highlighting the topics that were mentioned earlier in the show.

Firstly, April's relationship with her classmates. We're able to see how poor her scholar life is in "Hypno Part Deux" and "The Purple Jacket". She has no "normal", human friends except some strange remora guy, more like acquaintance than friend, though. But still, having "be normal" kick she's fine with Donnie's weirdness ( Mikey is always beyond all normal comprehension, Raph goes weird while he's alone, without brothers, and his fear of miss Cuddles is no big deal to fam, Leo didn't show any weird stuff during the series, like, reeeeal weird, m'kay?).

Conversation between April and Donnie at pizza spot

Really interesting and smooth scene. We’ve got Donatello who stares at April while he’s waiting his favourite pizza, no big deal.

And his legs.

If a person is interested in you, during a conversation, they will put their right foot forward (a left-handed person is more likely to put their left foot forward) in order to close the distance between you. - Check.

being in company, peson will point the sock at the most pleasant interlocutor for them. - check.

April’s legs are ponted at Donnie. Checkmate.

Yeah, April is hanging out with Donatello and Leonardo, but the main focus of hers is on Donnie.

All these scene makes me think that Donnie, knowing about how badly sometimes April wants to be normal, is up to help her overcome this. Fight fire with fire: fill up her life with all of this weird, mystic stuff so it will be normal with time. Regular people go to pizza spot to spend some quality time together, so we have pizza restaraunt here, in Hidden City. Make all odd normal, and problem will solved.

Donnie really tries his best, look at his face. Dee’s fine with all this bizzare things what happens to April, he’s fine with her. But still he fails, because April’s concept of normalcy differs drom Donnie’s.

And again, for Donnie it’s not a problem at all. He’s always was at the opposite side of normalcy and it doesn’t matter for him if April is in the same boat with him. Cause, as I said, Don’s fine with that.

Second, how much Donnie knows about April.

- Scoff! Are you really still on this whole "I want things to be normal" kick?

- Yes, what big city girl doesn't have a kayak and has hazmat suit?

Interesting detail here: this line launches Donnie’s flashback (because the first scene is from “Purple Jacket”, it’s Dee’s episode, obviously). And Don, as far as I can tell, has in his flashback moments with April when she did something reaaally impressive. His face is way more louder than any words.

- Short answer: no. Long answer: nnooooooooo.

- Oh, no! You know how April freaks out around the cosplay wizards!

These tiny lines are containing a lot of background, stories, intimate conversations that April and Donnie share. This show always does the same trick: we never see a direct action, we are only able to see a result or statement of the result. But series do a great work telling us with such small and imperceptible gestures that their bonding at this point is mutual. Not only D tells April about his inventions, family and fam's issues he has and even his falls, mistakes and failures. April does the same thing, sharing with Donatello one of the most important things to her. Problem that really bothers her.

C'mon, he'd even memorized Sunita's name, though April messed up with this situation a bit. It seems Donnie memorizes facts about April - he remembered the wi-fi password from old April's work as we can see in "The Longest fight" (he could hack it easily, he's a genius, why he's been keeping in mind some piece information that useless for a year? It doesn't make any sense)

Oh, and that. Just a coincidence, I guess?

Just alike suits, no big deal. Plus, the whole family has it (and something tells me that guys have suits at the behest of Don, so probably April does). But Donnie and April has a lot in common like emotional expressions, reaction about some kind situations, fight style and even tastes in fashion.

Also, it seems like Donnie's been watching April for sometimes.

While Leo was hiding in trash can, to not catch anyone's eye rather than April. He definitely couldn't know who was passing by, but there was Donnie to observe from above. That's why he was hanging down the stairs when Leo spoke to April.

It’s not the first time Donnie dress up as old lady to monitor April’s day.

Leo: Why do you always make us dress up as old ladies? Donnie: №1: confort, №2: to blend in as we monitor April’s day for max normalcy.

3. Even when D took away this cosplay wizard, he's still keeping eye on her.

Oh no, you don’t. Grandmas here!

Donatello changes his foe to save April exactly. He fought all evening with Brutus, but when April slightly gets in danger, Donnie just attacked anyone who has intention to hurt her and ruin her evening.

Is that a flying turtle in an old purple dress?

April, who all evening was trying to look “normal”, hiding her real friends because they are mutant turtles and pretending that nothing unusual happens here, finally gives up when Sunita mentioned Donnie. Even though new April’s friend has asked her before about Leo.

His eyes.

Donnie is really impressed but what he saw, and the reason - April O'Neil.

The episode "Warren & Hypno, sitting in a Tree" is another incredible piece of whole picture.

Turtle tank is decorated for April birthday in purplish scheme, definetely Donatello's work.

Dee's nonverbal speech.

• He seems more interested and softer than usual looking at April. It's easy to say comparing him with brothers. Mikey is in anticipation of fun mode, Leo relaxed and show his "whatever it will be fun" attitude, Raph is listening carefully, but still, Donnie could just turn his head in April's vouce direction, not a whole body.

• Warren felt Don's gaze while talked with April, so worm made the remark. Pay attention to the construction of the frame of neighboring scenes. The second frame is April's perspective. And Don is looking namely at her.

Indignation. Disappointment. Spark, storm, madness (i love this russian meme, sorry not sorry)

• Donnie seems sincerely sorry for this situation with April's b-day. And again, this soft gaze and "Raph, shut the shell up, your nonsense is upsetting her"-eyes.

• Donatello is kind of person, who’s avoiding a proper confrontation, so he rarely stands up for someone. He were remaining silent, when Raphael tried to cheer April in the most radiculous way, but when Hypno tried to play with April’s feelings, Donnie blew it.

He’s obviously in wrath as D emote that expressively. Yeah, he had much on his plate at April’s birthday, but it’s her b-day on the line, not his pride.

Warren used April, playing with her fan feelings. Her idol betrayed her, she was locked up in a cage, and now we have Hypno who wants to use her again by pitting and pushing for her compassion, because, it’s obvious - boys would do everything she said.

And Donnie tries to keep Hypno away from her, protect her feelings from another betrayal.

As he’s already stated - “For you, anything”.

The show always tells us: if you wanna trigger Don, bring April in.

Hypno tried to turn this thing around, Leo did the same in “Al be back”.

If Hypno-tamus did that accidentally as he found out that April O’ Neil is a birthday girl, so her wishes that day were laws, Leo did it on purpuse.

Leo is good at manupulating and pulling some strings, plus he knows his twin as back of his hand. That’s why Leo mentioned April in the end as she was always the most powerful argument, the reason and motive for Donnie. At second he’s even panicked, but remained calm. He almost blew up his coolheaded image because of one certain girl in yellow.

• Donnie is really happy to present Warren's arm to April. He even holds it like a rare, priceless treasure. D is really proud of himself right now: he saved the day, after all. The emotional reaction of hers is exactly what Donnie wants to get. And then, his final pose, while April is on 9th cloud from happiness - that's really territorial gesture, D claims his supremacy and confidence, telling "See? That's my happy birthday girl".

Leapfrog with a composition

Donnie and April are more and more eager to be together in the frame. Composition’s boners, m’kay.

Special ride for April

Yeah, Donnie used to offer his battleshell to give April a special ride. It even has a seat and handlebars for her comfort. She can control the flight as well as Donatello, they are like co-pilots. But he never carried her on his back before.

Usually, April is carried by Raphael, on his neck/shoulder, and she’s fine with it. Raph is strong enough to carry her without any difficulties or slowing down.

It’s not Donnie’s weak to carry her - no, he strong enough to carry his battleshell with a lot stuff in it everyday, Don can carry Splints on his shoulder without any apparent difficulty. He strong enough to hold the weight of his battleshell+April. Oh, c’mon, D assembled the Turtle tank only by himself and this for sure requires a lot of physical strength in order to engage in auto mechanics. Try lifting the wheel with tyre, and you'll see what I mean. Of course, there is a jack, but it will not solve all the problems. Don could use hydraulics and Archimedes ' laws, but I'm sure he did most of it with his own hands. Lifting and carrying, all by himself.

Not the strengh what’s matter but another point.

The sequence where Donnie carries April on his back doesn’t last long, it’s pretty easy to miss, while Raph openly do that with April on him.

Plus April’s gaze: she’s staring right at us with her “ninja-eyes” as if they were caught in the middle of something. The duration and length of the sequence, the way it is made all of this arouse certain thoughts.

It’s like nobody should see this. Too personal. To be more specific - too close and intimate?

Donnie stated a few times that he’s not into togetherness, tactile interaction and phisical side of contacts. Although he's fine with his brothers, don't forget that April is a girl. Even if she feels like part of family, she’s not his relative. She’s not his sister.

Some people tend to avoid physical contact with the objects of their interest. And this behaviour fits in Don’s character. He’s anxious type with a lot of psychological and emotional issues. Yeah, he tries to cover it up, built a shell to protect himself, behave as confident extravert but he’s nothing like that. Sometimes D tends to distance himself from his family, to hide in his shell, and we've seen that throughout the show.

Don hangs by his phone quite often, he addicted to this as his comfort zone, his peaceful cave, where everything is much easier,

Don pretends he’s so busy with his science stuff to ward off his brothers (ep. Mind Meld),

Don went to the lab to work on his projects, while he could hang out with April and the brothers (ep. Mrs. Cuddles). And he left for what? To work on self-cleaning tooth pick, or the titan bust of himself? It’s seems like lame excuse to be alone. He’s definetely an intovert, who sometimes needs some space and time with himself.

All his cocky behaviour is showing off to hide insecure, diffident and vulnerable creature, softshell purple turtle. Yeah, Donnie has confidence in what he’s great in: tech, science stuff, where he’s only one is capable of. But if someone steps on his domain or doubts his authority, his true colours exposed.

And, once again, “Mind meld” is a great evidence of that. Would callous, unsumpathetic guy without heart have a wall with pictures of his fellows? I’m afraid not. Donnie has a soft, caring heart.

There’s an alley of his the dearest moments, because photos - are always memory, precious moments we want to keep.

1 - from “Minotaur Maze”. Don loves good pizza, loves his brothers, and they have a little adventure together. Yeah, this photo isn’t on champ wall, but still.

2 - from “Mascot melee”. Important day for bros as they show themselves to people at daylight to rescue Raph and their operation to buy a new robe for his father. It’s their joint brothers dance, and D is loving to dance, remember? Definetely special occasion.

3 - from “Mascot melee”. Splints was really glad to receive a gift from boys. And Donatello, as we know, is always eager to achive for pop’s approval. This for sure must be in his precious moments collection.

5, 7 - from “Donnie’s gifts”. He even keeps a dorky photo, which Raph uses as profile pic at Donnie’s number.

8, 9 - “Down with the sickness”. It was funny to survive all the 7 stages to achive what boys wanted. They failed, but still.

10 - from “Al be back”. Who knows that Splints is so good at singing?

4, 6 - from “The Fast and the Furriest”. Strange choice, cuz, you know, photos ten seconds before his collision with April bat?

And yeah, he HAS April’s photo here. And at this pic it’s April, and April alone,without his brothers.

Don’s a real softie, see?

And avoiding physical contact is a way to protect Donnie’s already shattered self-esteem. To not cause any doubts in front of girl which he’s interested in. That’s possible reason why we did not receive any heartwarming hugs in “The Purple Jacket”.

But Donnie carries April, because it’s her birthday. On the one hand, the girl claims that her b-day is cursed, and Donnie could, by any chance, do something nice for her, and on the other hand - any request of the bithday girl - is the law, as we could see earlier.

Gift for birthday girl

There is no Donnie in the scene after Draxum throw off Warren's arm. While Raph comfort April about her birthday, Donnie was looking for it to present it to April.

He knows the best what is the most precious gift for her. Warren Stone, her idol, goat of making news; she have been in Stoneheads fanclub for 9 years. Also, it seems that Donnie is the one of turtles, who collected info about this worm.

Also, he stopped immediately when April stepped between them and show no disappointing (remind you about Donnie's sadistic science guy nature). The reason is April.

And another cute detail: their glasses are the same form.

Another episode "Mystic library" has slightly touched D&A interaction. But were talking about Apritello, it's all hints but quality.

When Mayham trapped in the mirror and Raph, Leo and Mikey obviously are not coping, April decides to call Donnie to clear situation up.

Donnie, mister "I ruin everything", she's going to call for help. I repeat this. April calls for help Mr. Science to solve mystic problems with her pet. MYSTIC PET.

And he AGREES.

Turtles dissuade their friend from calling Donatello but after a while, April returns with Donnie, and sees the bathroom in ruins.

I'm gonna clear this moment.

1. April haven’t called Donnie.

2. Some time later she returns with Dee.

3. Our girl is pretty shocked to see her bathroom in ruins, argo she didn't see/hear Raph chose to solve problem with smashing.

It must mean only ine thing: April went for Donnie by herself. We don't know where was he, we don't know what the reason April brought Donnie with her by herself, 'cause we know that if she call Dee, he will definitely get to her immediately.

Something is definetely off.

By the way, April changed Don’s profile pic.Yeah, the first one is very informative since Donnie is a turtle and he’s purple and he has bandana. Seems like April have done it by herself, editing the photo of real turtle. She didn't put a lot of effort into this, this image doesn't show her real attitude towards Don. But second is more personality-tinged. Sleeping Donatello in all his gear - this detail can tell us about only one thing - he was photographed when he fell asleep after his sleepless night(s) working hard at something - is something she can catch or receive by boys (namely speaking, it’s Leo, according to Ben Schwartz stated in an interview, that if Leo had an Instagram account, that 60 to 70% of his photos would be his brothers caught sleeping or slipping on things). And still. April has a dorky and little embarrassing pic of Donatello and this is... Interesting and cute?

This profile pic remind me about ROTTMNT: Sound off! (2nd issue)

The next station is “The Purple Game”.

Another episode in which the interaction of the characters is small in timing, but great in content.

And once again: they have a lot in common. I’d never tired of repeating this thing ‘cause the series do the same trick, showing one thing from different points of view. April and April shares the same taste in games, the same attitude, the same mojo.

But the most important thing here is how D&A interacrions are shown in this episode. Unlike other episodes, the interaction here is indirect, is provided by gaming.

Their customized avatars reflects their personality. I mean, the colour schemes (though Donatello has never shown any interest in yellow, he used it for customization of his persona), the way their avatars looking. Game even refering to Sherlock_Corn as “she”, albeit it’s impossible to refer to her avatar in female pronoun. Because, you know, design and nickname?

And the in-game interaction of the avatars resembles D&A irl relationships. Bootyyyshaker 9000 don’t like togetherness, he’s looking like Donnie’s expectation of himself (cool and tough guy, as D sees himself in his own dreams)

Their dialogue

Actually. Actually, Donnie and April are not able to hear each other as game has no voice chat, but their lines make an perfect dialogue nevertheless.

April:Bootyshaker9000? Donnie?

Donnie:April? You’re the last person I need to destroy to achive rank №1!

April:Ditto!

Both:There can only be one!

Donnie said the cheat combination, so April would know for sure what he is supposed to do, but she has no idea.

So, once again: their sync is incredible.

And can we talk about that?

April’s attack

As it seems, attacks may be customized by players. Bootyyshaker has attack that refers at Donatello main feature - superior intellect.

And this attack isn’t effective, because REAL April O’Neil has a resist towards it. She has known D for years, she knows what he’s capable of, she’s aware of his nerd side. April’s immune to it, so Sherlock_Corn is.

Sherlock_corn has a default attack - kernel cannon. It’s nod to her nickname: kernel, corn, the same book. But her second atteck is something reflecting her personalitiy. Plus, April is aware of Donnie’s “fear” of togetherness. All’s fair in love and war, right?

April took a lot of BS9000 hp by her “friendly hugs”. And, by the way, his sweet reaction for hugs.

So:

The selection of the final opponent. It might be literally anyone, but we wouldn’t be able to see Dee’s obsession in that case. Yeah, he’s already had a demon possesion ™, but it was too easy to him to win. No challenge. No “kill or be killed”, “It’s me or you” mojo. He needed some tough gamer for challenging, to develop his character, push him too far. And April, actually, is an excellent choice to reveal the character of certain purple turtle.To expose his true colours. And April do a great job: they know each other, so battle will be spicy, they are both compepitors, they are so alike, so it would be intersting to watch Donatello vs April. And it will, ‘cause In-game April and In-game Don is somewhat different than them usual.

April is Don’s slayer for sure. She’s good at gaming, her last attack was almost fatal for him. So he had to to cheated on her.

Captain Cuddlecakes. Yes, she know about his afraid of togetherness. And there’s lovey-dovey attack animation with this cuddling and Donatello’s persona behaves like him. And it was SPECIAL RUN, so... I haven’t the foggiest why. Cute detail, I mean.

Just look at it. Isn’t it cute?(at least we got their hugs somewhere... kinda. kinda.)

“Snow Day“, albeit being family episode, shows a lot about D&A relationship through “family war”.

First of all, the same taste in films.

Donnie’s already shown the same attitude to fashion, scary things as Cap O'Neil, April shares the same gamer’s mojo as Donatello, but now? We have Donnie and April that are loving the same movie.

For love of purple supernovas, of all the Jupiter Jim’s movies (and there are more than 60 of them), that's a convinient coincidence, they like the same movie.

It stated in series several times that Dee is fond of Atomic Lass. He had crush on her when he was child, he admires her by all his heart, so it will make sense if films with this character he would be his favourite. It’s logical, isn’t it?

Atomic Lass, even if she is part of JJ-universe, however, isn't in every movie. Leo described "JJ: Pluto vacation IV" and there is no sights of Atomic Lass. Like, at all.

Nevertheless, April’s claimed that “PV-4” is the best movie of the time, and Don agrees.

April:What the whaaaat? Hold up, Skip. “Jupiter Jim Pluto Vacation 4″ is the best JJ movie of all time.

Donnie:Ranked, by us, just now. So it’s basically official, no arguing.

And they do this thing again. Reflecting each other. Facial expressions, intonations, poses and etc. Haven’t I mentiones that? Mirroring is natural way to build communication. People, who communicate enthusiastically, who have sympathy to each other, feelings of certain nature, unconsciously copy each other's poses.

Direct reflection and close contact have a strong effect. This is used between lovers, people with close relationships or interested in each other.

And you can see that during not only episode, but through the whole series.

Poses, gestures, facial expressions they share constantly. Even if they are apart, they are mirroring each other, showing their bound. Because Apritello is not always about sitting close, holding hands and blushing. Apritello is about staying together even if they are not. It’s about solid foundation, about synergy, about chemistry Donnie and April share. And all of these are not always so obvious and clear, evident. But so realistic nevertheless.

And that’s why they splitted off the fam - they are too close and alike.

I stated it before but DonniexApril team is way more effective than Donniexbrothers team. Donatello and April are equal, worth each other. They are comfortable with each other, their teamwork is amazing.

They are always near, close to each other for the entire episode. Stand up for each other, side by side. They have no need to do team-building, because their sincronization is incredible. April works well together with Donnie, their skills compliment each other.

I love that April in a first place look at Donnie to check is everything alright.

And a cherry on top?

This inviting gesture. Donnie just watched all along how his brothers and April try to throw some cold water on this situation (khem, it slipped). But when April call him with this inviting gesture, he’d like to help.

In other words, he was waitng when April requests for his help.

Composition’s boners

Sometimes it happens during the show, but this episode beat hte score at this point. I say only one word: physics. Or, more precisely, the force of attraction. Or, maybe Mayham.

... Anyway.

Fitting in the type

April can play not so nice against her enemies, she got steady hand and meanness, merciless and reclessness. She’s passionate and kinda badass, sassy - in a positive way, she’s baddest girl who can kick your butt if you mess with her, and she really good at this.

She has a fire, and Donnie likes that. Dee never stated that directly but miss O’Neil impressed him so many times and in different way so it’s kinda pretty obvious.

Just look how Donatello reacted the way April took Raph down a peg. Her actions are elegant, relaxed but really sly. She almost dare Raph to put his flag on top only to bring him down to Earth in really painful way. She destroyed Bros’ team so easily just by waiting a bit and by calling Mayham.

She’s definetely got some pepper.

Pretty cute but baddest, don’t you think?

And Donnie was impressed for sure, he admitted it - “That is fun for me”. He don’t even stand a chance, c’mon: she’s smarass and elegant, she can be mean and cute at the same time.

Even though that’s it for season 1 analysis (the last series is more appropriate to review as part of 2nd season, plus it was a reaally big post, I need some time)

You can refresh this whole situation in the car 1 and the car 2 or follow the hashtag #apritello express as you please. It’s a pleasure of mine, keep in touch :)

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millepara · 2 years

Text

waccha primagi ep 23 spoilers (didn’t want to wait!!)

last week I was wondering why I should care who’s the center if they’ll all be doing solos again anyway, but this week I went to the arcade and played the in-game Aqua Element contest where the song for the final round is Dreaming Sound. usually the OP only appears in the anime when it’s some big thing with everyone singing together, so I started thinking wait... maybe they do all get on stage together, so the center actually does matter.... and with them all practicing together in the beginning of this ep, I guess that confirms it. great! I’m v excited to see more than one idol on stage!!

love to see idols working hard. good ep

Hina offering to match everyone else’s pace is interesting, I don’t think I’ve seen something quite like that in idol anime before. I wonder if that’ll turn out to be the right thing to do by the end of the ep, or if everyone will work really hard and catch up, or if the power of friendship and understanding will magically close the gap somehow.

Carron looks so cute when Lemon snuggles them（ ; ; ）

cl----cl!!! cliff!!! it’S A CLIFF !!! ARE THE YCLIMBING CLIFFS IN PRISEREIS NOW!!!! what!!!! didn’t aikatsu copyright that or something!!! is this even allowed

oh wait it’s just a steep hill. calm down stupid

Chimumu being the one person(?) not actually hiking and no one else saying a single word abt it

oh my god they’re putting their magi together!! they’re lighting the way....... sniff. sob. I bet the Carron plush sells out after this ep

wow the subs have Undine-sensei saying Olé. what the heck, you guys are missing out on the irritation of hearing her actually say Alé all the time.

Undine-sensei!!! (♥ω♥) just when I thought her design couldn’t get any more perfect!! wow wow wow

AHH I can’t believe we’re getting the 5-person performance in this ep!! I saw the marching coord art before watching this ep and wondered if it was what they wore for it... didn’t expect a new song though!!!

AHHH the Hina/Amane moment in the song.... thank you.....

they really are all the center. I’m surprised (pleasantly) that it’s not just Matsuri there as default!

this song is so cute. the coords are perfect (esp on Hina). love the illusion... primagi continues to be a good show

all five of them!!! they’re all the element coord winner!! I’m actually shocked (pleasantly)!! ohhhh primagi you sneaky little thing... you thought the coord brand and pants style and the way it looks like a takarazuka revue outfit when it has the aqua effect going would trick us into thinking Amane got it... well guess what. it totally worked

sure do hate the title of this song though. “Waccha! Please! Magic! -What’s your “Please” Magic?-” give me a break

I like that the coord was given out before the exhibition, and this performance actually had nothing whatsoever to do with the exhibition. it’s weird and not the rinse and repeat competition cycle we usually get in priseries.

next week is the exhibition! it looks like they're wearing the marching coords again, which are nice, but I would like to see them all on stage together in the Aqua Element coord... it would be such a mess 🌪

#and its a good thing i didnt!!

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leamy-world · 3 years

Text

Reaction to The Devil Judge (spoilers for ep. 11-12)

Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well this week!

Here we go! Again i’m really sorry for the english & my personal interpretations which might go a little bit overboard (❁´ω`❁)

THIS GOT VERYYYYYYYYYY LONG PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!!!!

tldr: i am in shambles haha

Have a nice week and take care! ♥

- Huckleberryfinn’s new OST, The Nights, was released this saturday and it’s truly a gem! The guitar/bass’s place in BOTH OSTs they composed is awesome. The lyrics destroyed me haha (i’ll shortly talk about it below!). The soundtrack during these two episodes was awesome btw ;;

- Sun-Ah’s visit to the mansion felt nostalgic and shattering at the same time, she sees she doesn’t belong in this house but still indulges a little in this illusion, « wanting to fall for his trick even just for a little while ». Her expression made me feel for her for a little while too ;;

This shot above is funny because the bokeh effect (✨ the little sparkles ✨) is used in the background every time but this time it plays in front of Sun-Ah’s view: she sees in Yohan and his mansion a « shining » thing she desired for a long time. The bokeh here served also as a transition to the flashback right after.

Well, it could just be the streetlights’ reflections on the car and me reaching but there are so many symbolic visual shots in this show already i just couldn’t dismiss it in my brain haha

I liked Sun-Ah’s depiction of her choice to go against Yohan: she drops the necklace (symbolizing Yohan, this scene followed by Yohan’s cross-like scar) and not herself, like she did in the past for/because of Yohan when she was a maid + Yohan’s reflection disappears, Sun-Ah only focusing on herself: the ‘us’ she wanted for some time disappeared. And this event makes Sun-Ah’s rage on K more upsetting than it already is, but maybe i’m reaching haha

This scene also shows Yohan and Sun-Ah want two different directions to their relationship: to use her and to have him reach the top by her side respectively. They both look at the mirror, but their focus is different and they’re set in different plans on the shots.

In My Mister, (SPOILERS) the wife has a serious affair with her husband’s superior, but throughout the drama, they have divergent opinions on their affair’s developments: the wife wanted to leave her husband and settle with her lover, while the latter didn’t think any of it and, among other plot reasons, only wanted her because married women are the ‘safest choice (ending the relationship while she still loves him would be more troublesome) and always kept the affair secret’.

This was particularly symbolized by their song preferences, but also by this shot in the beginning of the series: after the wife shared her hopes about their relationship (and her lover staying most of the time silent), they both look to the distance (their affair’s metaphorical future) but their eyes almost never look in the same direction.

- « I did it because i need you (by my side?) », Sun-Ah and Gaon’s parallels:

"[To Gaon on ep. 8] I wanted you to be by my side.”

“[To Gaon on ep. 5] I don’t need you to understand, but you need to make a decision. Will you stand in my way … or stand on my side?”

"[To Gaon] If i needed to, i would’ve done something even worse. Whether it was switching him or something else.”

- When Elijah and Gaon play jenga, Yohan might have let the door to his bedroom open (even after leaving them the first time) to continue hearing them have fun in the living room. It parallels to the scene in ep. 5 where he watches them play in the garden with Kkomi through the little gap of his curtains: what piques his curiosity first is the playful conversation he hears from his bed even from the closed windows. The flashback explains it all and i’m glad Gaon insisted to have him play with them despite the front he tried to put on, Elijah’s and Yohan’s expressions in this scene ended me ;;

Look how quick he turned his attention to Gaon, as if he waited for something to happen, to get to play with them!! His eyes lit up in an instant i can’t with this —

I loved how Yohan delayed his defeat to Elijah by asking Gaon questions about the game hahah

Elijah and Yohan’s relationship growth here reminds me of 2 parallels i didn’t catch the first time (but the desperation i felt when Gaon left because everything could grow cold again between Elijah and Yohan):

“That’s everything i think about”:

Elijah getting in & out of the car (ep. 6-9):

- And Gaon’s « Once everything is over, i’ll definitely … » — you’ll definitely what, please tell the audienceeeeeeee ;;;; this screams a death flag for Soohyun (or was it just foreshadowing their confrontation in ep. 12? idek anymore haha), but let’s hope it’s not!!

- After CKH’s suicide: we can’t expect people to make perfect choices every time they are challenged, and i think this story shows it well: Soohyun when she was with Elijah, and now Gaon carelessly touching the minister’s body for the files. As judges, they could have searched the body and the room using a fabric to hide their presence. But they’re both shocked: Yohan looks dumbfounded, standing and watching (even though he’s quicker to react when he sees Soohyun and he puts on a composure at the house saying it was ‘nothing’, he looked very sour when Sun-Ah called him to rejoice in her death) and Gaon panic-stricken. The fact he might have relived his parents’ suicide when he discovered the Minister’s body … And in the worst way possible (in a daze, searching her dead body for her files and realizing he didn’t give the body minimum respect) … oof

At least Yohan could have thought about it since the story shows how prepared he is in his plans, but this scene shows even him is at a loss at what to do. After all, the minister was the way he targeted to bring everyone linked to the foundation down. They were so close, i think he was too convinced her « self-pity » would mean her survival despite everything (« Do you have any other options? ») to see what was coming. After all, when they last met, he saw she was about to shoot him.

Sun-Ah was the only one he thought was ‘unpredictable’. When Gaon talked to CKH, he let him speak and approved his speech, surely thinking everything went along his plans and the minister would surrender. And i think that’s also why he gives Gaon all this speech, to reassure himself and them, since they work now as a team.

- Ep. 9 foreshadowing ep. 11 and 12 (Soohyun facing Yohan and Gaon). It’s interesting how the two shots from ep. 9 seem to put on the same plan the three characters, as if Yohan is literally standing between Soohyun and Gaon, as if he was the one protecting/separating him from Soohyun. This is very telling of the whole dynamic between those three.

- When the minister said she didn’t want to clear her name regarding her son in the live but still does so anyway, this is pure preterition haha! It’s also why she reminds the public opinion the first case Yohan handled!

- Cha Kyung Hee’s demise (ep. 11-4 parallels):

(+ a cinematographic reference to the 2000 movie Malèna, which was recently used in Hwasa’s MV for the song Maria)

- The scene right after where Soohyun wipes Gaon’s involvement to the suicide was moving in regards to her character, we get to see how torn she is by this situation + when she faces off Yohan in the parking (and the ‘let go’ could also have referred to Gaon) … i felt bad for her!

- About Soohyun & the professor: I find interesting the way the professor and Soohyun shelter Gaon’s existence was clearly shown with these two episodes and through their rage. At the beginning of the drama, their hold on his life’s values and choices was almost impalpable but not anymore, now that they’re facing Yohan’s threat.

In these shots, Soohyun looks like she is covering Gaon’s ear, turning him away and protecting him from outside (from the pain, Yohan, the rest of the world).

And on professor Min’s part, it’s almost infantilizing, de-responsibilizing Gaon to say the least (« What are you making Gaon do? That child has been through so much. He suffered and struggled through the worst to get there. »), given he’s the one who planted him on the court’s bench to find what’s happening behind the scene: he could have asked Gaon for explanations (as Yohan underlined, « Did you hear it from Gaon himself? ») but he just snaps at him. He should have foreseen that he could’ve taken Yohan’s side.

For his defense, his family just got targeted but still, it’s the first time Gaon came back since then!

(By the way, that whole conversation with professor Min confirmed to Yohan Gaon didn’t admit to their plan to Soohyun nor the professor)

As for Soohyun, her deep concern for Gaon makes her antagonize Yohan and, in her POV, it’s pretty understandable: her friend got locked up in this judge’s house for days with no phone or permission to go out + said judge seems to not let her niece go out with her new friends, got violent against Gaon + he seems to be plotting something behind the trials he biased + Gaon’s description of the man in the first episodes wasn’t that nice but DESPITE IT ALL her friend still seems to be empathizing with him?

She’s maybe thinking he got manipulated by Yohan given the evil picture he depicted her & must feel helpless in front of Gaon’s sudden change of heart. I think that’s what she wanted to ask him when she got cut by the professor’s arrival. The lack of honest conversation between them is what’s making it worse: on one hand, Gaon goes to her every time he feels sad or confused to get comfort & advice without telling what truly is going on (or eventually telling her when she insists), on the other hand, Soohyun always tells him to give up his investigation on Yohan and never asks him his point of view to understand the situation.

And she discovered he lied about him not being involved with this man in the worst way possible, finding him by CKH’s body with Yohan. He was her reason to dedicate her life to protect people under the law (he does not owe her anything in no way, but it was her wish), and she ended up dirtying her hands for him. Her gut reaction to her moral principles being violated by both Gaon and her right now is stronger than wanting to hear the truth from Gaon. She continues to investigate Yohan on her own, to protect him. It was interesting to see this sententious side when she confronted Gaon after all this! The only time Soohyun saw him cry and didn’t support him, it hits hard ;;

But i believe the whole crisis that’s happening by the end of ep. 12 will make them team up again at least for a while. And on that note, will she meet Sun-Ah? It would be interesting!

I’m glad the professor raised as a concern on the live trials the due process & fair trial, which are essential for the rule of law to prosper.

In fact, the live trials slowly become a place of majoritarianism/ochlocracy/mob rule as the cases progress (the two best examples being the actor and Juk Chang cases), the protests against professor Min are another example. Even if Yohan has the last word on the defendant’s sentence, this issue is still there.

Maybe the viewers’ voice will turn against Yohan one day?

- The minister … Even though the story showed us how cruel her family could be, i can’t help but feel sympathy for her son with her suicide. And that is accentuated by the fact her family’s grief is not even showed, covered by the mediatic chaos. She could have fled the country as her son suggested, but she thought she was « nothing » without her accomplishments and her path to glory. As the former president of the foundation killed by Sun-Ah’s hands, she died in her office as the Minister of Justice, while her image wasn’t torn to shreds yet. The photograph she held showed her at the center and, ironically, it’s the only figure from the photo who is clear-cut, her husband and her son are out of focus (or it could just be the episode’s image quality misleading me haha). Even though she loved them (well, at least in her manner, which was kind of narcissistic tbh), she cared too much for her success and her death was her act of self-pity.

- This isn’t the first time Gaon was warned about Yohan and i find it interesting it’s the people closest to him that say that, especially K despite (or precisely because?) his loyalty to him. Elijah also warned him before.

- The whole argument … It’s a progression of ep. 5 & 8 scenes (’will you stand in my way or stand on my side?’ & ‘i wanted you by my side and if i needed to, i would’ve done something worse’). You can tell how desperate Yohan was when he reached out to Gaon. His gaze faltered, showing his hesitation to do it, but as the realization he was going to lose him dawned on him, this touch became a necessity in front of the exigency, making up for everything he couldn’t say out loud. It was a sad & hurtful mess. Yohan truly looked short on ‘arguments’ after Gaon’s question (‘what kind of monster am i turning into?’), he seemed to not even know what to say to make him stay, making him pause before talking about Soohyun.

The way his eyes lit up, almost smiling, full of hope, when he finished laying his ultimatum and how he regained a composed expression, thinking Gaon would take his side maybe?

I didn’t catch it on the first time, but Gaon’s sadness to end/put a hold on their collaboration (thus their whole relationship, stepping out of his life) transpired through him weakly rejecting Yohan’s hand with his own hand sliding down the latter's arm, as if he was unwilling to let this life with the Kangs go. You can see it’s hard on him to leave with the tears in his eyes.

I think Gaon’s response outran his thoughts, as a quick riposte, it was to make Yohan stop this. The way things went (well, it escalated QUICKLY), hurting him like that was the only effective way, and he knows it will hurt him: before saying Soohyun is his world, he tears up because of that (in addition to everything Yohan said and it was A LOT), and didn’t even have the strength/will to get angry like all the previous times:

the fact Yohan laid this very ultimatum and wanted to persuade/manipulate him into thinking this was the only choice. Even if he knew Yohan would be capable of doing this since ep. 7-8 (”To achieve his goal, would he not use another man’s pain? If the devil really did exist among us.”), he got a confirmation and it still hurts.

+ the fact he knows he has to hurt him with something as much as hurtful before he takes it too far.

+ the fact he knows he can’t live in this house any longer because of this argument when he made all these memories with them.

And (let’s hope for it) if Gaon wants to show Yohan there’s another way out of this ultimatum, Gaon’s « Soohyun is my world » might be a counter ultimatum (‘to stay by your side, you’ll have to deal with my world because there must be another way, there is no question, or else you’ll have to deal on your own’). He’s still not said anything to Soohyun (well, he didn’t have the opportunity to anyway but even during their confrontation, when she asked for details, he said nothing) nor the professor, so maybe that’s it?

- « Of course it doesn’t matter to me, but … » ELIJAH NOOOOOOOO ;;;;;;;;; After Yohan, Elijah tries in her way to hold Gaon back — and she makes a valid point tbh (look at what happened by the end of the episode!), but seeing her putting all her efforts and realizing it’s failing is heartbreaking … Given the preview for ep. 13, please let me hope this conversation won’t be their last one!!

- Utter devastation when the next scenes show how Gaon still shines even in his absence: the « You never apologize » + the scene with the nanny & Gaon’s last prepared meal + Gaon’s portrait by Elijah … ugh

- Elijah’s painting game is too strong, can’t relate haha! I wish they could show the BTS for this painting, respect for the artist behind!!

- On metaphorical images, Gaon took care of the Kangs like he tended to his plants at home. On a regular basis, he provided them attention and care, making them lively as his plants got lush. On ep. 8, we got a shot of Elijah smiling at Gaon’s plants, sort of a confirmation she loved how their house became warmer since Gaon’s stay, which led her to open up to his uncle.

- Now they’re only four! It looks like the mafia game haha, i look forward (am i though?) to the day Sun-Ah sits by herself haha

AND THIS MAN

This is true pig behavior, especially considering Sun-Ah’s past … I felt her reaction when he said all this bs to demean her, she had all her struggles with men thrown back to her face, soiled by these « jokes ».

- The monsters, the abyss and Nietzsche:

« He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. », Nietzsche

- « I don’t care if humanity falls, as long as i have you two ». It was what he wouldn’t say to Gaon nor Elijah, and yet they’re his world! This sequence parallels Gaon’s inner wish when he leaves the Kang’s house + the flashbacks of his fond memories with the Kangs. Will Yohan give his vigilante ideals up for them? Will Gaon pursue this dream but in his own way that won’t threaten their « worlds »?

(Now we know what his whole world meant)

- The light from the chandelier (ie. their newfound family) is out of Yohan’s (metaphorical) reach, shown by its blurred silhouette, as if it’s gone from the room which regained its initial colder tones. But it’s not: once it’s made its way in the room, it remains and lingers, as a keepsake of the lost warmth. His fond memories with Gaon and Elijah flashed back through the window’s light.

On a similar note, Gaon’s room, albeit having warmer tones than the Kang’s ones since the beginning, looks dark too. The contrast with earlier episodes is clear. This reminds me of My Mister’s (SPOILERS) full shots of Lee Ji An’s room, getting warmer as she gets to know Park Dong Hoon, and losing all its fond colors when she has to leave for his sake. As if the room and inanimate objects were given life by their owner, imbuing them with their feelings. It becomes an outer expression of their feelings. Sorry for the rambling but i just love when they do that in fiction, and i think it sometimes leaves more impact to the viewers if emotions are conveyed through various angles (eg. through another character’s point of view, sounds, looks, the use of light i mentioned below, etc) !

- I wonder … since the flashbacks are giving us Gaon’s conscious point of view on this separation, was he awake when Yohan came back from his (forced) encounter with Sun-Ah? It’s a really minor point but it could be an interesting detail since this show always shows us there are some sides or spots to the stories we didn’t have yet!

The jenga scene also flashed back but this time we see Gaon’s POV seeing Yohan’s smile & we got Gaon’s angle when Yohan had a nightmare in ep. 5: while from Yohan’s POV, Gaon’s irruption truly felt like an invasion of his intimacy (the quick succession of shots expressing his panic and defensive reaction), from Gaon’s POV only one angle showed the scene, the tension was conveyed only when Yohan slapped his hand away.

We also got Yohan’s POV when he admitted to Gaon he needed him by his side (and a closer look at Gaon’s troubled expression)!

- Ep. 5 and 11-12 parallels:

Yohan’s tentative look at Gaon and Elijah playing outside, as if he wanted to join them like in ep. 11, the curtains mainly closed and only pushed by one of his hands. It let the daylight in his dark room through this sneak peek.

But in ep. 12, the curtains are drawn, Yohan taking the (moon)light fully in. And this time, he doesn’t reach out to his late brother in the flames, but to the moonlight. He gets up, as in a trance, from his nightmare like the last time, but he goes to his window instead. And it reminds me of both Huckleberry Finn’s OST’s (in Tempest, « you said i’ll live in the sun / moonlight » and in The Nights, « my / your night shines on you / me »), the suffer is here. And see how the light reveals his tear? I nearly missed it!

The fact he could not find sleep anymore after this night + he slept on his sofa where the moonlight could be seen + has kept his phone right next to him (in case Gaon called him or to know if something happened to him) ➾ 🌝 pure devastation 🌝

- I really love the show’s use of light/dark tones to reveal and contrast its characters’ emotions! What you can’t see in the light gets revealed in the dark, and vice-versa. The OST The Nights touches on this subject as well.

And it ties up very well to the plot so far: everyone has his or her own motivations and intentions, background, and makes choices, but depending on the perspective, their story changes and sparks off different reactions. Everybody’s story is interconnected.

As @skylessnights pointed out, one of the books found during the series (when Yohan revealed his past to Gaon if i’m correct), The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy, depicts this angle well in its plot and epigraph: « Never again shall a single story be told as though it were the only one. » - John Berger.

When Gaon and Yohan go back to the mansion after CKH’s death, the route lights flash Gaon’s hands red, caught (literally) red-handed by Soohyun. He begins to recollect his recent memories of what just happened, and panics, short-winded, until Yohan touched his arm. He’s startled but calmed himself down, and we don’t hear him out of breath anymore. It’s interesting how the light’s focus was on Gaon’s hands, the core of his panic, until Yohan’s arm came into the light, as if our and Gaon’s attention went back to Yohan’s touch, his anchor in his panic, and begins to think clear-headed of what they had done. (btw, getting Phoenix Wright desperate vibes from Gaon’s pose haha)

Gaon’s emotions show when his phone lights up, trying to reach Soohyun again.

When Yohan’s inner wish brings him back to their happy times, the end of the flashback shows a shot of his eyes dazzled by the light of these memories and back to the present, the light now gone out from his eyes.

Yohan’s reaction to Gaon’s cry in the prison yard in ep. 7: what i loved to see was how his restraint told more about the emotions he held back. The light shifting on his face revealed his jaw clenching & frowned brows, his glassy eyes and him averting his gaze, which he often does when he’s in front of sensitive topics and it’s too much.

+ other instances he looked away:

When Jinjoo decides to accept the foundation’s offer, she steps into the dark side of the room where the two chairmen are. Up till now, she stood where the light could reach her, away from them. It symbolically seals her involvement with the foundation, and by the end of ep. 12, it is confirmed by her message on behalf of the foundation (about the plague) displayed on the screens. By the way, i love the fact so much things unfold while we focus on Yohan and Gaon’s story!

On the subject of ‘subjective’ truths, examples, besides the flashback with the priest about Yohan in ep. 11, could be the truth behind the cancellation of the donation by Yohan or Sun-Ah’s fall from the window when she was a maid. We got Sun-Ah, Elijah, and then later Yohan’s point of view.

- I think Gaon tried to call Soohyun and not Yohan (though the subs say otherwise) because the contact above has the ‘thug’ nickname with the fist emoji! It made more sense, Yohan would’ve answered right away! But i believe he will have regrets/worries in the next episodes (Yohan and Elijah seem to be getting in real danger so maybe he’ll come back to save them).

- Metatextuality in The Devil Judge — Beauty and the Beast (written by Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont & Disney’s 1991 animation movie)

I’ve always loved transtextual relationships between fictions, my french teacher in middle school gave us this passion haha! Ever since i read this interview translated by @deviljudge, it’s true i’m getting more and more Beauty and the Beast vibes, especially from ep. 12’s argument (and the whole premise Belle got locked up in the mansion in the beginning)! The original fairy tale and Disney’s adaptation are both relevant, some plot points differ from one another (Belle’s sisters vs Gaston, the mansion personnel turned into living paraphernalia) even though the core of the fairy tale is left untouched but for the sake of this bit, i’ll use the 1991 movie because its inevitably longer format delves more into the fairy tale moral lesson.

(Cheesy time incoming haha) The beast lets Belle go see her father he knew she deeply cared about, and let her go because he realized he loved her. He thought she would never come back, but despite it all, she came back and saved him from Gaston. Belle (Gaon) broke the spell that was casted on the mansion (the Kangs and their loneliness, especially when Yohan said he’s tired of this house). Yohan fails at not hurting the people he cares about but learns step by step, by Gaon and Elijah's side, how to live again and reconnect with his ‘human’ side.

Even the secretary looks like the modern version of the whole cast in the Beast’s mansion (Cogsworth, Lumière, …) haha

The movie intro is self-explanatory:

« Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish and unkind. But then, one winter’s night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman’s ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast? »

Belle’s characterization in the movie is also interesting:

« With a dreamy, far-off look and her nose stuck in her book what a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle ».

« There must be more than this provincial life (…) I want adventure in the great wide somewhere — I want it more than i can tell — And for once it might be grand to have someone understand — I want so much more than they’ve got planned »

& when Belle got locked up in the mansion: « I’ve lost my father, my dreams, everything. » (similar to “Soohyun is my world”).

Gaon, since his parents’ death, lived his life believing in the illusion of justice the system gave him, along with Soohyun and professor Min, his two pillars who kept him steady this whole time. Once he was showed it was an illusion, he wanted to fight this world.

Before the movie’s climax, this conversation reminded me of ep. 12’s argument:

« - Belle? Are you happy here with me?

- Yes. [looks to the distance]

- What is it?

- If only i could see my father again just for a moment. I miss him so much.

- There is a way. This mirror will show you anything. Anything you wish to see.

- I’d like to see my father, please. [The mirror projects the image of his father in danger and sick] Papa. Oh no. He’s sick. He may be dying and he’s all alone.

- [Glances at the wilting rose] Then you must go to him.

- What did you say?

- I release you. You’re no longer my prisoner.

- You mean i’m free?

- Yes.

- Oh, thank you. Hold on Papa, i’m on my way.

- Take [the mirror] with you, so you’ll always have a way to look back and remember me.

- Thank you for understanding how much he needs me.

(…)

- I let her go.

- [Cogsworth] Yes, splen … You what? How could you do that?

- I had to.

- Yes but … Why?

- Because i love her. »

Yohan did nothing to hold Gaon back even if he needs him (as shown when he clutches his hands together after he left) because he was forced by Gaon to understand how precious Soohyun is to him, this point was already made multiple times in the series (when Gaon thought he was the one who pushed Soohyun in the stairs and already threatened him about it, when Gaon told him he couldn’t live as a conman in front of Soohyun and his parents). Since his ‘to have you by my side, i would have done worse if it was necessary’ + ‘this is a life or death situation, sacrifices are also necessary’, he seemed to think Soohyun was expendable in his own world, which he shared with Gaon. With this argument, his world looks definitely incompatible with the one Gaon described (« Soohyun is my world »), and even though they already went this far in their plan, he lets him go and respects his choice. Will it make him change for the better or for the worse? Will the whole ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ apply to him?

Other moments i found interesting to note:

« Come into the light »:

When Belle goes to save the Beast from the village:

« - Please, i know he looks vicious, but he’s really kind and gentle. He’s my friend. - - [Gaston] If i didn’t know better, I’d think you had feelings for this monster. - - He’s no monster, Gaston. You are! - - If you’re not with us, you’re against us. » (pretty similar to the professor’s rage in the hospital)

When Belle’s father goes to save her: « I don’t care what it takes. I’ll find that castle and somehow, i … I’ll get her out of there. » (when Soohyun talks about and to Yohan)

The Beast possessive behavior in the beginning of the story: « [To her father] She’s no longer your concern, take him to the village. » (similar to Yohan’s behavior towards Soohyun) & « [To Belle] The castle is your home now » (and towards Gaon)

A monster:

When the Beast observes Belle playing from afar:

- And i saw some Jane Eyre vibes (SPOILERS) from the whole fire haha + Wuthering Heights on Sun-Ah’s & Yohan’s mixed parts!

- And well … Sun-Ah’s character loosely reminds me of Simone in Nier Automata (which in itself is a reference to Simone de Beauvoir’s life and works), with the whole « I must become more beautiful / But he still won’t look my way », to whoever knows this game!

- These thigh boots holy hell Sun-Ah!!!! i loved this outfit!

- As soon as he said he didn’t feel anything from his revenge, K got the biggest death flag in this episode, i can’t believe they did this to the poor boy … When i asked for more scenes THIS isn’t what i meant aaaaaaaaaa

- A very random and weird note: Yohan’s almost silent and held back pain by the end of the ep. 12 fits his character so far, as well as his ‘calm’ tears. Given his past, it’s as if he’s always kept his pain bottled up and quietly bears it all and almost never got the space to properly let it all out (he had his brother, but with their father, i think they didn’t have this ‘chance’).

- My sick mind thought Sun-Ah was going to bring Gaon to the scene just in time for him to witness Yohan getting shot, but i guess it will be when she will get in the Kang’s mansion again according to the preview (since she asked Juk Chang for a « favor », i think they’ll knock Gaon out after beating him up for his own fun to leave him to Sun-Ah). Sun-Ah looked surprised when Jae-Hee shot him, so i guess only hurting K was part of the plan.

- The ‘I know i’m fucked’ look hahaha

+ the softer version:

- I now have BIG trust issues since these last episodes’ previews, and the cliffhangers kill me haha

- On another note, i find it amazing how Ji Sung and Kim Min Jung keep that upsetting atmosphere whenever there’s a scene between them that involves them and skinship, but it still conveys Sun-Ah’s complex feelings for Yohan and Yohan’s interest in her! The soundtrack really does a good job to convey that mood as well!

- In conclusion: How Dramatic do you want these two episodes to be? The devil judge: Yes

#the devil judge #tvn drama #my ramblings #got veeeeery long #i'm sorry

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strideofpride · 3 years

Note

let’s hear the writers strike GG thoughts!

Haha, thank you for indulging me!

So the strike started Nov 5, 2007. The last episode they were able to film was 113, The Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate. The last episode that aired before it was 106, The Handmaiden’s Tale. Meaning, from an audience’s perspective, Ch*ir hadn’t even happened yet.

Now, from a ratings perspective, the strike was the best thing to ever happen to Gossip Girl. While other networks started airing game shows all the time (since the writers on those weren’t union), The CW didn’t have any game shows to air. So how did they fill the void? They aired constant repeats of Gossip Girl. This allowed new fans to catch up and find the show and the show exploded in popularity. The producers took advantage and had the cast (who were kind of just sitting around, waiting to go back to work, and being fun 20 somethings living in NYC together) show up in the tabloids constantly in order to increase their visibility. So by the time the strike ended, the show and the cast were phenomenons.

Creatively? Who’s to say? The show got a shortened season from 22 eps to 18, which often does help tighten plot lines up and leave out useless filler. On the other hand, there were plot lines that were totally scrapped because of it, such as the Dan/Blair essay competition storyline. Who knows what would’ve happened had that story line made it to air? I certainly think at the least Dan and Blair would’ve become friends sooner.

Now there’s a big difference in the show to me from how episodes 101-113 were, and everything beyond 114. And that is that Chuck Bass became a major character, who by season 2, was its male lead and Chuck and Blair replaced Dan and Serena as Gossip Girl’s main couple. And I think that’s because 107 aired at the very beginning of the strike, where the Ch*ir limo sex happened, and the fans went crazy for Ch*ir and Chuck.

The writers took note of that and started to lean in that direction. Now, I do think writer’s strike or not, Chuck still would’ve wormed his way into being a main character, it’s clear from Schwartz and Savage interviews that they fell in love with Chuck’s character very early.

However - they surely had several episodes already planned out, probably even written, after 113. When you watch 113, you don’t get the sense that Ch*ir is some great love story or that they’re going back there in the second half of season 1. But I think when the strike ended and they came back and had to rewrite (because they lost 4 eps and had to restructure and cut) they took note of the fan’s reactions to Ch*ir and decided to incorporate that in 117/118.

Had there been no writer’s strike and the writer’s continued on with their already written episodes post 113, I don’t think the fan’s reactions to Ch*ir would’ve played as much of a role in the writing of the rest of season 1. If the writers still wanted to go there and incorporate that, they would’ve probably had to wait to bring it back in season 2. But maybe fans would’ve had a different opinion by the end of season 1 depending on what had happened in those scrapped episodes and storylines...big what if.

Another big change that I think happened in the gap between 113 and 114 is the NJBC. In the first half of season 1, Nate, Blair, and Serena were the tight little childhood friends trio and Chuck was just Nate's friend that Blair and Serena tolerated. But then in the second half, they're presented as a foursome (thinking specifically of it being established that Chuck, Nate, and Blair used to take care of Serena after a night of partying). Also just cause I love to add - the phrase "Non-Judging Breakfast Club" is only uttered once in the entire show. Ch*ir stans just ran with it, I think because it's more romantic to imagine that Chuck and Blair were these childhood friends who were separated by Nate getting there first rather than the alternative.

So yeah, I do think that had the writer's strike hadn't happened, Ch*ir might've not taken over the narrative of the show the way they did.

#gg meta #gossip girl #anti chair #anti njbc #anti chuck bass #dair #strideofprideanswers #anonymous

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 5,(part 1)

In part 1 of this post, more than analyzing, I want to understand few confusing things first. I’m not annoyed or angry, I’m just confused & trying to piece things together, so, kindly don’t feel off with my usage of (!!!) & (???). lol. I’ll ONLY discuss two things here that confuse me a lot. ( Real ep review/ analysis will be in part 2)

1- Momiji’s romantic love for tohru (the real love triangle). What?!!!!!

I’m so shocked that momiji loves tohru romantically! So, in order to understand ( where did this come from!!) I re-visited his scenes with tohru since se01 & trying to see if I missed anything! Below is my speculations:

Is it love at first sight?!!! When Momiji first met tohru he kissed her on the cheek. I’ve always thought lightly that in the eyes of the reserved Japanese (bowing is greeting), all Europeans (kissing on the check is greeting). hence, Momiji’s kiss, he’s half Europea. However, perhaps it is a Kureno/ Arisa type of love at 1st sight/kiss?! kureno nearly kissed Arisa on the lips on their 1st official meeting. But Kureno/Arisa kiss was meant to be romantic/sexual with adult kureno’s “ I wanted to taste her lips”. but Momiji’s is a peak on the cheek & he was a child, so... I don’t think he’s struck by love before he’s officially introduced to us the audience.

Is it gradual growing love like kyo’s ? in all Momiji/ tohru eps, he always just wanted to play with her, visit places & spend time together. (hot spring & beach vacation) are his own ideas. But momiji didn’t want tohru exclusively. He intentionally invited both yuki & kyo to the hot spring & even was begging kyo to come. He invited all zodiacs to the beach & wanted all to spend time together. I believe that the hot spring ep especially showed momiji as this playful, innocent & naive kid, wanting to share tohru’s females’ hot spring section. I don’t think momiji was madly in love at that time. He was a child going “ waaaa~, kyo hit me” & jumping here & there.

So, summer vacation? but then again, Momiji slept with the children & tohru doted on them all. He defended tohru but they all defend her & love her. he said to kyo that he “selfishly wanted to be with tohru” but I didn’t catch any romantic hints from that. Was it really that time?? they all wanted to spend time with tohru. Yuki said “ I’ll kidnap you”, kyo agreed to go to the beach right away, kisa was glued to her to the point of annoying hiro! So, when? & why not let us as the audience know abt momiji’s feelings.

Is it related to opening up to tohru abt his family issues? He confessed to tohru abt his dad, mom & momo. She cried for him & hugged him. I never got the feeling in all those scenes that he was in love! it seemed to me like friendship love similar to hana’s/Arisa’s or siblings love substituting his nonexistent relationship with momo.

Is it just me?? I always saw momiji as this baby in toddler clothes, jumping, laughing & a ray of sunshine! A child but with the most mature heart & mind. Tohru didn’t help momiji, he was already helping himself first & reaching healthy conclusions abt how he should deal with his own traumas. So, perhaps (Me) not seeing him as a teenager stopped me from seeing his romantic love? but they showed me hiro/kisa’s love. Elementary school kids! so?

Regardless of when he fell in love or how, the point is, this is heart-breathtakingly tragic! cuz (a) tohru never saw him more than a child at first, then as a precious friend, (b) she’s intensely in love with kyo, which brings us to tohru’s core issues. (Tohru loosing yet another loved one). Tohru’s own issues aren’t fully explored yet, but her love for kyo has been blatantly hammered to us since se01 finale! this is because kyo being locked in the cat room equals (death) which parallels her mom’s (death). Tohru will be living her tragic trauma again but this time, kyo replacing kyoko! Thus, giving tohru a room for growth & character development.Tohru’s intense love for kyo was shown in by the drastic change in her attitude in se01, ep.24, chasing firmly after him even when he pushed her & refusing to let go until he’s back home cuz she wants to! then yuki blatantly saying “ she loves him, too, the way she looks at him“ im se02, ep22 & “don’t worry, tohru, he won’t accept (the other girls confession)” in se02, ep 17 & all her scenes with kyo in that ep where she’s scared he’ll let go of her & other scenes throughout the 3 seasons.

...so why momiji’s impossible & unrequited love is introduced?

I believe it is to push kyo to not let go of tohru. To throw kyo into this internal conflict between selflessly letting go of tohru so she could be happy (like hatori did with kana) & selfishly wanting her to be his lover ( like haru). Kyo himself expressed these two conflicting thoughts in se02, ep, 9 “ I hoped we could always be together somewhere far off (selfish love) & “ I don’t want to take anything from you (selfless love). So, momiji is challenging kyo in a way making him realize that selfish love might not be bad afterall & selfless love could be harmful! cleverly reversing the two concepts. So, I get why this love triangle was introduced. but whyyyy momiji! T_T.. choose someone else, Writer-San! poor Momiji we learned abt his love the same ep we learned it hopeless & he can’t pursue! T_T. couldn’t you at least put the two scenes far away, so I get time to grieve his broken heart! T_T.

2- Yuki/Machi ( Yuki is in a such hurry!!!!)

You could use the analogy of yuki’s starting the story as a (baby/child) taken cared by his mother (tohru) who taught him to be a person (all se01), Yuki took this knowledge as a (kid/teenager) & formed friendship on his own with (kakeru) in (se02). it is not after yuki became a true equal friend to kakeru, chocking him & equally teasing him, that Machi was allowed to talk abt her self as a real character with agency & thoughts (se02, ep24), now yuki must be a (teenager/Man) & fall romantically in love, hence (se03, eps 2 & 3). All this is amazing. So, I kinda expected the following:

yuki won’t take as long as kyo in confessing/ realizing romantic love since he/machi don’t have a shared baggage nor obstacles from the past.

he won’t be as fast as haru’s “ i love you/ kiss/ make love”. But then again, Haru & Isuzu have already known each other for years & are already in love, they just put a name to their desires & went on with it.

So, yuki should be in the middle, noticing, knowing abt the person, crushing, then realizing love & wanting a future together! Cuz yuki is this type of person who values taking time thinking thoroughly, right??

I’m confused as yuki wanted to confess the curse & to be with machi romantically right after the machi background scene? I know not everything should be on-screen & him falling slowly in love could be off-screen... the flower is a yuki/machi “ noticing her stage”, her fighting with him over the red leaf is “ noticing him stage” for her. but there’s only ONE intimate scene of them together! Her raw tears when he comforted her in her flat (the chalk scene is bonus). but.. I never expected that yuki is planning to confess his curse & feelings this early!!!!!! yuki! are you SURE she loves you? ( I mean we the audience know 100%) but how is HE sure?? yuki going this big stage so soon felt a bit un-yuki. but then agin, perhaps that’s part of the new changed confident yuki? I duno, I mean Machi was never given a proper time to prosper, but yuki was always given all the time there is to explore his feelings & even other ppl’s feelings! He’s there in kyo/tohru ‘s story to tells the audience they’re in love, he’s there in Isuzu/ haru to mend their gap. I mean yeah there gotta be more scenes abt them for sure, we’re in ep 5, but I never expected a the intruppted confession now & this soon!

perhaps it’s just me, again?! Maye I’m so invested in yuki & accustomed to him always taking time that I kinda expected more before he’s thinking of confessing. I really thought that confessing his curse/love is yuki/machi’s own story climax compared to kyo/tohru’s story climax with kyoko & Isuzu/Haru story climax after breakup, oh well. I’m positive we’ll see more of yuki’s journey with machi as yuki is rarely absent in any eps. More scenes to come!

That’s the end of my headache! XD. I apologize for giving you headache if you were kind enough to read all this. kindly, don’t spoil future scenes or sub-plots to me. I’m just expressing my shock at how fast the plot moved! just few eps ago, I was watching motoko love journey that survived 3 seasons! Hands down Motoko wins in furuba! XD. Jokes aside, Can I say we’re officially where “the plot thickens?” Is it going down? This ep felt like a bullet train!

Side Notes:

I never liked the “children in deep love theme” that hiro has as children shouldn’t suffer the romantic pining & suffering as teenagers & adult ppl, so, I really appreciated that Momimi altho was 15 when we 1st saw him, lived his childhood without the “oh my! I’m so in love~ pining~ suffer”.

The story introduced ( momoiji in romantic love) the same ep Momiji got tall, so making it as sth he expressed once he hit puberty like most boys his age. He even said it “ I’m a man now”, which is again sth boys feel once they get taller & experience other feelings.

Momiji never catches a break! T_T. My son is denied the types of love he wants (parental love, sibling love & now romantic love! ).

I don’t picture momiji/tohru together as a couple cuz it wasn’t built that way in the story & most of their moments weren’t romantic/sexual tension. to me it was the ultimate friendship!

I wish my son finds love on-screen! If Moyoko/Nao gets on-screen love, give my boy on-screen love, too!

Nah~ forget that~ I’m just sad for my son, I don’t want to see him paired with any character quickly to compensate him not having tohru. This is not doing momiji justice. So, I get the ED art of him with Momo.

If kyo has someone who loves him one-sidedly (Kagura), tohru now has someone who love her one-sidedly (momiji).

The kagura/kyo confrontation was heart breaking, but it had to happen cuz kyo knew she loved him & had to stop her. I hope Momiji never confesses to tohru, I wouldn’t be able to survive seeing tohru turn him down.Tohru & momiji are just too kind for such sad situation.

So, does this mean that the two characters with unrequited love are Kagura & momiji? they’re the only characters with no romantic partner in the ED.

Hana is without a lover in the ED, too! XD. Thank God! I love her crush on kazuma, cuz hello~ who won’t crush on this hunk! & teenage girls can crush on grown up men rather than boys (I know I did, but it was just my girlish crush). I’m thankful it is just a crush & teasing kyo tactics & not true romance! don’t give me another Arisa/Kureno, plz. lol.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #confused paper #momiji sohma

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gayenerd · 3 years

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I just realized I didn’t post that 2007 Rolling Stone article I posted about here.

Billie Joe Armstrong

The Green Day leader talks Bush, Britney and being a middle-aged punk for our 40th anniversary.

DAVID FRICKE

Posted Nov 01, 2007 8:19 AM

You have two young sons. What kind of America will they inherit?

This war has to finish before something new blossoms. There's no draft — that's why none of the kids give a shit. They'd rather watch videos on YouTube. It's hard to tell what's next — there is so much information out there with no power to it. Everything is in transition, including our government. Next year, it's someone else in the White House. There's no way to define anything. It's Generation Zero. But you gotta start at zero to get to something.

Is there anyone now running for president who gives you hope for the future?

Barack Obama, but it's a bit early to tell if this is the guy I like. I get sick of the religious-figure thing. People don't question their rulers, these political figures, just as they don't question their ministers and priests. They're not going to question George Bush, especially if he goes around talking about God — "I'm going to let God decide this for me. He's going to give me the answer." The fear of God keeps people silent.

When did you first vote in a presidential election?

In 1992. I was twenty. I voted for Clinton.

Did you feel like you made a difference?

Yeah. The Eighties sucked. There was so much bullshit that went along with that decade. I felt like Clinton was a fresh face with fresh ideas. There were times when he was dropping bombs, and I'm thinking, "What the fuck are you doing?" But he became a target. We have this puritanical vision of what a leader is supposed to be, and that's what makes us the biggest hypocrites in the world. We got so inside this guy's sexual habits. Now we have a president going around, killing in the name of what? In the name of nothing.

What did you accomplish with your 2004 anti-Bush album, "American Idiot"? He was re-elected anyway, and the war in Iraq is still going on.

I found a voice. There may have been people disenfranchised by it. People have a hard time with that kind of writing: "Why are you preaching to me?" It does sound preachy, a bit. I'm a musician, and I want to say positive things. If it's about self-indulgent depression or overthrowing the government, it's gotta come from my heart. And when you say "Fuck George W. Bush" in a packed arena in Texas, that's an accomplishment, because you're saying it to the unconverted.

Do you think selling nearly 6 million copies of that album might have an effect on the 2008 election? A kid who bought it at fifteen will be voting age next year.

I hope so. I made it to give people a reason to think for themselves. It was supposed to be a catalyst. Maybe that's one reason why it's difficult for me to write about politics now. A lot of things on that record are still relevant. It's like we have this monarchy in politics — the passing of the baton between the Clintons and the Bushes. That's frightening. What needs to happen is a complete change, a person coming from the outside with a new perspective on all the fucked-up problems we have.

How would you describe the state of pop culture?

People want blood. They want to see other people thrown to the lions. Do audiences want rock stars? I can't tell. You have information coming at you from so many areas — YouTube, the Internet, tabloids. Watching Britney Spears the other night [on the MTV Video Music Awards] was like watching a public execution. How could the people at MTV, the people around her, not know this girl was fucked up? People came in expecting a train wreck, and they got more than they bargained for.

She was a willing conspirator. She didn't say no.

She is a manufactured child. She has come up through this Disney perspective, thinking that all life is about is to be the most ridiculous star you could be. But it's also about what we look at as entertainment — watching somebody go through that.

How do you decide what your children can see on TV or the Internet? As a dad, even a punk-rock dad, that can make you conservative in your choices.

I want to protect them from garbage. It's not necessarily the sex and drugs. It's bad drugs and bad sex, the violence you see on television and in the news. I want to protect them from being desensitized. I want them to realize this is real life, not a video game.

The main thing I want them to have is a good education, because that's something I never had. Get smart. Educate yourself as much as you can, and get as much out of it, even if the teacher is an asshole.

Do you regret dropping out of high school?

Life in high school sucks. I bucked the system. I also got lucky. My wife has a degree in sociology, and there are conversations she has — I don't have a fucking clue what they're talking about. College — I could have learned from that.

But I was the last of six kids. At that point, my mother was fifty-eight, and she threw up her hands — "I'm through with this parenting thing." Also, I could not handle authority figures. But I wouldn't say I'm an authority figure for my kids. I provide guidelines, not rules.

What is it like being a middle-aged punk? Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

It's about the energy you bring with you, the pulse inside your head. I want to get older. I don't want to be twenty-one again. Screw that. My twenties were a difficult time — where my band was at, getting married, having a child. I remember walking out of a gig in Chicago, past these screaming kids. There were these punks, real ones, sitting outside our tour bus. One girl had a forty-ouncer, and she goes, "Billie Joe, come drink with us." I said, "I can't, I've got my family on the bus." She goes, "Well, fuck you then." I get on the bus, and my wife says, "Did that bitch just tell you to fuck off? I'm gonna kick her ass right now." I'm holding her back, while my child is naked, jumping on the couch: "Hi, Daddy!" That was my whole life right there — screaming kids, punks telling me to fuck off, my wife getting pissed, my naked son waiting to get into his pajamas.

There's nothing wrong with being twenty-one. It's the lessons you learn. At thirty, you think, "Why did I worry so much about this shit?" When I hit forty, I'll say the same thing: "Why did I worry about this shit in my thirties?"

What have you learned about yourself?

There is more to life than trying to find your way through self-destruction or throwing yourself into the fire all the time. Nihilism in punk rock can be a cliché. I need to give myself more room to breathe, to allow my thoughts to catch up with the rest of me.

Before Dookie, I wasn't married and I didn't have kids. I had a guitar, a bag of clothes and a four-track recorder. There are ways you don't want to change. You don't want to lose your spark. But I need silence more than I did before. I need to get away from the static and noise, whereas before, I thrived on it.

Are you ready for the end of the music business? The technology and its effect on sales have changed dramatically since Green Days' debut EP — on vinyl — in 1989.

Technology now and the way people put out records — everything comes at you so fast, you don't know what you're investigating. You can't identify with it — at least I can't. With American Idiot, we made a conscious effort to give people an experience they could remember for the rest of their lives. It wasn't just the content. It was the artwork, the three acts — the way you could read it all like someone's story.

Is music simply not important to young people now the way it was to you as a kid?

People get addicted to garbage they don't need. At shows, they gotta talk on their phones to their friend who's in the next aisle. I was watching this documentary on Jeff Tweedy of Wilco [Sunken Treasure]. He was playing acoustic, and he ends up screaming at the audience: "Your fucking conversation can wait. I'm up here singing a song — get involved." He wasn't being an asshole. He was like, "Leave your bullshit behind. Let's celebrate what's happening now."

We need music, and we need it good. I took it very seriously. There's a side of me where music will always send chills up my spine, make me cry, make me want to get up and do Pete Townshend windmills. In a lot of ways, I was in a minority when I was young. There are people who go, "Oh, that's a snappy tune." I listen to it and go, "That's the greatest fucking song ever. That is the song I want played at my funeral."

Now that you've brought it up, what song do you want played at your funeral?

It keeps changing. "Life on Mars?" by David Bowie. "In My Life," by the Beatles. "Love," by John Lennon.

Those are all reflective ballads, not punk.

I disagree. They are all honest in their reflection. The punk bands I liked were the ones who didn't fall into clichés — the Clash, the Ramones. The Ramones wrote beautiful love songs. They also invented punk rock. I'd have to add "Blitzkrieg Bop" to the list.

What is the future of punk rock? Will it still be a voice of rebellion in twenty years?

It's categorized in so many different ways. You've got the MySpace punks. But there is always the subculture of it — the rats in the walls, pounding the pavement and booking their own live shows. It comes down to the people who are willing to do something different from everybody else.

You are in a different, platinum-album world now. What makes you so sure that spirit survives?

I'm going on faith — because I was there. Gilman Street [the Berkeley, California, club where Green Day played early shows] is still around. And that's a hard task, because there is no bar — it's a nonprofit cooperative. It's like a commune — this feeling of bucking the system together, surviving and thriving on art. Punk, as an underground, pushes for the generation gap. As soon as you're twenty-five years old, there's a group of sixteen-year-olds coming to kick your ass. And you have to pass the torch on. It's a trip to have seen it happen so many times. It gives me goose bumps — punk is something that survives on its own.

#article #interview #articles #billie joe armstrong

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millers-planet · 3 years

Text

Makeshift pt 2 - Poe Dameron x F!Reader

Storyline: Parties with a dozen is sometimes less preferable than “parties” with two (set in between ep vii and iv)

Warnings: 2k words of smut, oral (both receiving), teasing, a lil bit of ass slapping, and like an ounce of face-fucking undertones, kind of pet names?????

Pairing: Poe Dameron x F!RebelPilot!Reader (no pronoun usage)

POV: Reader

part one

We all new this new base on Yavin 4 wouldn’t last long, which is why Poe told me to keep our stuff in boxes rather than unpack. Our multi-room living space was now demoted (like Poe’s rank) to a smaller, tent-like space, which was now just a few drawers and a bed. I was content with this, because the only think I needed in a room was Poe.

“Knock knock,” Poe’s fingers glided across the fabric, “or, I guess tap tap?” He made me giggle, grabbing my hips and turning me around to kiss him. I could feel his antsy hands slowly moving lower, “we never finished what we started on the ship back there, on our little makeshift date.”

I pushed his hands up more, onto my hips versus my ass. “These are not walls, Poe, this is fabric. While I am always down to try new things,” he smirked at me, “this is not one of them. We have been interrupted so much lately and I don’t want to risk anything.”

He broke eye contact and I saw his face go from ‘how do I find a place to fuck my girlfriend without people finding out?’ to: ‘I know a place where I can fuck my girlfriend without anyone finding out. “I got something figured out, trust me, you might hate it or you might love it, no in between.” He planted a small kiss to my forehead and walked away, “meet me back here at sunset.”

I’ve been with Poe long enough to decipher whatever his plan or idea is, before he can even get the words out. I know what each eyebrow wiggle of his means, but for some reason, I have no clue what he’s getting me into today. What is he going to do?

I waited on the Millennium Falcon for some time, just playing Dejarik with C3PO, beating the droid every once in awhile “Hey!” I looked up and my face dropped, “I told you to meet me back at the tent at sunset what happened?”

“Oh, Poe, I’m so sorry, I lost track of time playing this game with 3PO. I probably ruined whatever you had in mind, I’m sorry.” I put my face in my hands, utterly disappointed in myself for being so careless. He asked me to do one thing, how incompetent could I possibly be?

Poe crouched down to my height and pulled my face away from my hands, “Y/N, this is where I was gonna bring you anyway. I spent the rest of the day catching up with the General to see if we were making any battle plans, or if the Falcon is in use, which it isn’t...” his voice dragged on, prolonging eye contact with me in the seductive manner.

The dots finally connected in my mind and my mouth dropped, “you want to?” He nodded. “In here?” He nodded again. I looked behind me, seeing if 3PO was still there, Poe probably shewed him out while I wasn’t looking. “What if Rey wants to go check on something... or someone wants to use the ship?”

“Rey is training nonstop, Finn has been making some time for Rose, and Chewy has nothing to do,” Poe began rubbing his thumb on my palm, making eye contact again. “This is a fool-proof plan, you know I can be smart when I choose to be.”

I leaned in, inches from his face, “and it isn’t very often.” I closed the gap and kissed him gently, one of his rough hands grazing the back of my soft neck, sending chills down my spine. “If you think we’ll be fine, then sure, Poe.”

“Yes?” He asked.

“Yes.”

The biggest fucking smirk spread across his face, putting his lips to mine and standing up. He grabbed my hips and hoisted me around his waist, my legs wrapping around him, my arms going around his neck. He carried me to what seemed like a backroom, almost a medical room, on the Falcon, closing the door behind us. Gently he sat me down on the edge of the bed, getting back down on his knees, in between my legs. I knew exactly where this was going, the anticipation growing in me, making heat swell in the middle of my thighs.

With his mouth never leaving mine, the soft kisses never getting rough, just quicker, he untucked my shirt. Placing his warm hands and fingers on my torso, thumbs rubbing my waistline in between my pants. I gave him the ‘go ahead’ by solely pulling out my excess belt strap, leaving him to do the rest. Slowly, just enough to tease, he used two hands to undo my belt, fingertips always grazing my skin whenever possible. Poe undid the button to pants, placing his four finger on both of his hands in the waist of my pants, before I stopped him.

I placed a hand on his chest and pushed him back, “don’t you think the places should be reversed, I mean, we are still celebrating that dreadnaught victory, right?”

He smiled, “it was your victory just as much as it was mine.” Poe put a hand on my shoulder and pushed me back, my elbows on the bed and back just hardly touching the wall. He pulled off my pants and threw them across the room, making me laugh just a tiny bit. To build me up more, he planted kisses from the middle of my inner thigh, up to the center of my body, skipping over it, and going down my thigh. I whined quietly at the missed spot, making him look up to me and wink.

His mouth made contact with my clit, kissing it and sucking on it. He put his hands on either side of my thighs, gripping them and pushing them apart just a little bit more. Poe’s tongue lapped circled on my nub, flicking it every few seconds, making my breath catch in my throat each time. Poe had a rhythm, just one I hadn’t caught onto yet, which was good. This meant that I never knew what was gonna come next, making it remind me of our first time over and over again.

Caught in the flashback, I didn’t even notice his finger teasing my entrance before it was put inside of me. I gasped at the sensation and arched my back slightly, I could feel Poe’s smile grow. His tongue slowly added more pressure with each thrust and curl of his middle finger inside of me. The calloused finger just glided across my sweet spot, causing me to muffle a cry, “right there, oh my god, right there.”

“What do we say?” Poe stopped every movement, pulling his mouth off of me and freezing his finger knuckle-deep in me.

“Damnit, Poe,” I whined, bucking my hips slightly at the lost contact.

He tapped my ass, making me wince, not in pain, just from being caught off-guard. “What happened to manners, Y/N?”

I sucked in a breath of air, “please, Poe.” With that, he began again. His lips returned to my hot nerves and pulled his finger out, glazing over the sweet-spot once more. I dropped my head and gripped my shirt, overwhelmed by the amount of pleasure he was giving me. Just as I thought this, he put his index finger in with the next pump and curl of his middle. I melted like putty, my elbows dropped out on me, making me now flat on the bed with my ass almost entirely hanging off.

“That’s my girl,” his breath was cold, if anything, compared to my hot core. The small exhale from his nose caught me off, making my thigh twitch. With each thrust of finger and suck of his mouth, I became even more wound up. His tongue paused for a microsecond, just as he put my leg over his shoulder, opposite of the hand that inside of me. “C’mon, baby, cum for me.” His fingers pumped faster, the curls dragging out more, and the circles matching the same rhythm and intensity.

“Poe,” I cried out, my back arching and abdomen felt like it was twisting up, about to burst. His free hand slapped my ass and grabbed it, making me stifle a cry and bite my lip. My thighs shake as everything began to unwind. My walls tightened around his fingers and he slowed down his movement, helping me ride out my wave of pleasure.

As I caught my breath, Poe stood up, making the tent in his pants very obvious. I sat up and took his finger in my mouth as he placed them in there, making me cleaning them up and taste myself. He pulled his fingers out, a small pop filling the empty yet heavy air as the pressure broke. His lips met mine, the kiss was slow and meaningful, I stood up and put him where I was without breaking it.

Only when I sat down did I finally break it, getting down on my knees and undoing his pants the same way he did mine, but slower, payback for what he did to me a few minutes ago. When I finally undid the zipper and button, he lifted his hips up a little bit to help me slid his pants and underwear down, his erection springing up.

Precum came out from the top, taking my thumb I spread it around before placing him into my mouth, slowly taking him in to give jaw time to adjust. I couldn’t the entirety of him me, because if I did, I’d probably choke. Poe gathered most of my hair into one of his hands and place it on the back of my head, just a few strands hanging out. His hand wasn’t forceful, just resting there, as is face was pointed towards me, watching me try to take him all in.

I lifted my head up a little bit, going up and down, slowly adding speed. I placed one hand on his thighs and the other at the end of his length where I couldn’t get in, pumping it with the speed of my mouth. As I moved my tongue around slightly in my mouth, low grunts came from the bottom of his throat, his fingers flinching as I went on, eventual moans coming out of him, “Y/N, fuck. Yeah, use your pretty little mouth just like that.”

I could tell he sensed that I was about to do the same thing as he did to me, but before I could lift my face up, he pushed me back down, which was sudden and nearly made me choke... though this isn’t the first time. As Poe got closer, he began to buck his hips and thrust into me, basically fucking my face, which I was fine with. I bobbed my head to match with his speed and gripped him just a little bit tighter until his hand instinctively forced me down to take the full length of him in.

My nose touched his abdomen as his hand wouldn’t let up, him spewing his load into the back of my throat, forcing me to swallow so I wouldn’t choke. Tears went down my face as he finally let me back up, making me cough and wipe my mouth. Poe stood up and pulled up his pants, but didn’t buckle them or anything. He pulled me up and kissed me, passionately, the kiss deep and long. I pushed him back down onto the bed playfully and laid down next to him, pressing my bare ass against his pants. “I love you,” I said softly.

“I love you, too.” He cleared his throat and rubbed circles into my shoulder, “y’know no one has said anything to us yet, so.. if you want we could...” Before he could finished his sentence, I straddled him, looking at him down. “Yes?” He asked, the same tone from earlier.

“Yes.”

“Yes,” he flipped his over, putting me beneath him and making me laugh at the sudden change in places.

tags: @blondekel77 @mysticdeerpolice @gabile18

join the tag list!

#poe dameron #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron x you #poe dameron x y/n #poe dameron smut #poe damn son #star wars #star wars smut #star wars x reader #star wars rise of skywalker

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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Edser / Sen Cal Kapimi ep 30+ asks

(Asks under the cut)

@jan31 Hi Liza, in the fragman Selin was in a white dress, was it a wedding dress?

Hello! I don’t think so. I think that’s what she was going to wear to the dinner she’d planned for the four of them (from the fragman, Eda, Serkan, Deniz and herself) but BOOM goes the MELO. Thank you Melo, lock that witch away so Serkan and Eda are not haunted by her evil presence, and can maybe spend some time together.

Though, you know, I wouldn’t mind if it was a wedding dress. We know Serkan ain’t gonna marry her, so if they go so far as to put her in a dress, then we’re on the precipice of her humiliation and departure which can’t come too soon for me.

jan31 Hi Liza. Please can you explain to me the fireside scene. It was so beautiful, emotional and just what we needed. Were the lights going out representing his sub conscious and the darkness he feels, reaching out for Eda instinctively without realising why. And the lights coming on was the reality that he did not remember anything. Or am I completely going in the wrong direction? Oh and the music gets me every time 😢😢

That scene fired on all cylinders!! I definitely think you’re on to something thinking the lights coming on represented the reality of him still not having any memories back. I think the whole scene was Serkan trying to reconcile this one flash of memory that has been playing in his mind like a movie. He was re-enacting what he saw in his mind, trying to figure out if it was a real memory and if the real memory was about Eda.

I really liked that it was Serkan who asked if they can talk without arguing. Being the calm, rational one is his role in their relationship, how many times have we heard him say “sakin” so it was comforting to see him taking those reigns for a few moments. Also for him to realize that almost all their exchanges had been heightened and fraught with explosive emotions and wanting to talk to her without that.

Both Eda and Serkan with their eyes filled, brimming with tears really got to me. Serkan not really understanding as his heart took over and tried to make sense of what his confused mind couldn’t. Eda’s complete heartbreak when he still didn’t remember anything. However, though, she might not know it, he certainly felt something.

He’s already so drawn to her and he can’t compute why that is... why he fell in love with her during the time he can’t remember, but he’s slowly starting to see how it could have happened. This was an important scene for bridging that gap between them. So freaking beautiful, one of the best acted scenes of the entire series, and the scene that made this episode worthwhile.

Anonymous said: if that scene in front of the fireplace made me so emotional and it was just him trying to remember.. trying to recreate that one moment he was flashbacks of... i cant imagine what the actual scene of him remembering will do to me. both their acting in that scene was something else.

Hande and Kerem were both absolutely fantastic in that scene. Really stellar. Their chemistry never disappoints, but here they were both right in the moment, very raw, very real. I’m impressed with the emotional range they both showed, kudos to both. If nothing else this story is giving them a lot to chew on as actors.

Anonymous said: memory loss doesn't bother me that much if we can have beautiful scenes like the fireplace one. but the main couple is separated again, dating/fake dating other people and they don't have scenes enough to fall in love again

Well they made huge strides in two episodes. From Serkan not willing to even contemplate remembering her, to him sitting down and asking her to tell him a memory of their relationship and saying he wants to know about her and their love. And them having an absolutely beautiful, emotional, heartbreaking moment together.

Serkan made other leaps as well. He went from wanting Eda out of the business to admitting she had talent and freaking out that she was planning to take a vacation. He was already coming up with every excuse to keep her in town and working. They argued as they did in early days, he had moments that obviously hit him as familiar (”I hate you Serkan Bolat.” “The feeling is mutual, lady.”) plus lemons and crusts.

Don’t you worry, he’s already falling in love with her again.

However, I wouldn’t judge what they’re planning too much by this episode. It felt like a transition episode and was pretty unevenly paced. Perhaps the claims of rewrites on this chapter had some truth to them. Because the last 4 episodes were pretty well written, narratively solid, and well paced, and this one was not. It was boring and everything not directly related to a scene where Eda and Serkan were alone was lackluster.

Also I feel like some things were changed and perhaps removed to make allowances for Hande’s injury. She had a strained neck and was in a brace for almost the entirety of the filming of this episode. For instance, I’m pretty sure they did fewer takes with her in several scenes. Specifically you can tell in the scene where Serkan picks her up and carries her back.

We go no full wide angle shot from the front of him carrying her to match with the scene in episode 5. I’m sure they wanted that, but I’m guessing they really had to limit the takes of him picking her up so they couldn’t do multiple camera set ups. The still photographer on set was able to capture it from the front, it’s a shame they couldn’t get the full hero shot for the show, but poor thing was injured and these things happen when you shoot on such tight timelines.

So some of the lack of Edser could have been scenes that were shortened, cut, and amended due to that injury. And others could have been changes in the script perhaps as they figure out if they’re getting another ep order from Fox.

Anonymous said: idk what they’re doing with Ceren but I really need them to keep Deniz as a genuinely good friend. He’s perfect and I don’t want them to make him sketch. Not sure if you’ve seen OTH but that’s the only other show I’ve seen with a great male-female friendship. Other parts of the show are messy to me right now but I’ve been loving this.

I guess my opinion would be unpopular with you, but I am not as enamored with Deniz as others seem to be. Dude was putting a LOT of pressure on Eda to move on and forget Serkan. Serkan has been back approximately 3 days! HE ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND HAS AMNESIA. Can the woman have a chance to catch her breath and assess the situation, before her “good friend” is pressuring her every which way to forget him?? And planning romantic getaways under the guise of friendship? That’s not being a friend, that’s being an opportunist, looking for his chance to slide in there.

So, yeah, I’m not as impressed as most seem to be with Deniz. He made me uncomfortable with that. I hope it was not a harbinger of things to come.

As for OTH, I haven't really watched, but its a fav or my bud @echoapothecary so she might be willing to discuss that show.

Anonymous said: Any chance they decide to throw Melo and Ferit together? I don't care about any of the other side romances going on but these two still have their rights in my book in regards to Edser and they seem like genuinely people?

Let’s do it, baby! I’m on board They both are genuinely good people, and I’m with you, I don’t care about any of the side romances at the moment. Piril and Engin put me to sleep this episode.

Ferit certainly deserves better than psycho Selin, but he also deserves better than petulant Ceren. And while her behavior escalated to WTF levels this ep, she’s always leaned a little this way. I think it was episode 18 (because the girls were in the library before Serkan finds Eda there) that Ceren was furious at Ferit all episode and I honest to goodness had no clue why or what he did.

Anonymous said: at first sçk was about women supporting women and we have one best friend turning against the other FOR A MAN. I'm so disappointed the writers are destroying characters one by one.

No this show has always been about the love story between Eda and Serkan, but it did have some nice female relationships as well. Can I tell you a secret? While I really like the girls dynamic, and hope they don’t destroy Ceren and Eda’s friendship, I really only care about 2 characters, and that’s Eda and Serkan.

So while I get your concern, and Ceren acted OUT OF HER DAMN MIND this episode, if she needs to be a casualty to keep things moving, so be it. I mean I reserve the right to roll my eyes over it, but I’m not going to get too worked up about it. From the beginning Eda and Serkan were the only two characters that matter and they still are.

Anonymous said: I'm kinda concerned that they're actually going to say the next episode takes place on Valentines Day because this would be the biggest timeline error yet. I know we've already been suspending belief here after they touched on New Years so quickly but umm, yeah....

I think you have to just give over to the timeline on this show and not do any math or calculations. We already had July to December take approximately 2 months in straight linear storytelling, LMAO.

Also, if it is valentine’s day and that’s going to be their excuse to give us some actual romance, then I will take it, no complaints. To me that’s one of the easiest things not to be concerned about, because its never going to make sense. I’ll take the holiday themed episodes over strict adherence to the calendar any day.

#Sen Çal Kapımı #sen cal Kapimi #edser #sckask #sck episode discussion #edser discussion #asklizac #sck 1x30 #anonymous

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argumentl · 3 years

Text

The Freedom of Expression Ep 18 - Baseball with Mercedes Benz logo used by Chiba Lotte Marines.

K: This is Dir en grey's Kaoru with The Freedom of Expression. This program started...how many years ago was it now? 3 or 4 years ago?...on InterFM, asking questions about freedom of expession...with this theme we talked about current news stories each time. From there, we have moved over to Youtube. There are maybe times when we talk about stuff that isn't really related to expression though..

J: There are.

T: Yeh.

K: I just wanna enjoy talking sometimes.

J: This program has a wide scope.

K: Yeah. Well, today, I mean, on the day of this broadcast, its the opening of the professional baseball season.

J: Oh, June 19th?

K: Yeh. At the point in time of recording this, we don't know exactly what will happen, but..at last baseball is gonna start.

T: And that means...? Kaoru?

K: And that means?

J: And that means?

K: What do you mean?

T: Your beloved Hanshin Tigers!

J: Oh, yeah, his Hanshin Tigers. How will your beloved Hanshin do this year?

K: Oh, they will win by a mile!

J, T: *laugh*

J: *laughing* We shouldn't laugh!

K: Hahaha

J: We really shouldn't laugh! We're so rude!

T: Its because he said straight away, 'by a mile!'.

J: Tell us your rationale for saying that, for saying they'll win by a mile.

K: Well...they're strong.

J: You could say that about anyone! *laughs*

K, T: *laugh*

J: Saying, 'They're that strong'...Yakult fans could say the same.

T: I'd just like to ask again, since when have you been a fan of the Tigers? Since when were you first aware of the Tigers?

K: How old was I?...I think I was probably in the lower grades of elementary school. As far back as I can remember really. My Dad played baseball in a non-professional team. So he had his uniform, and glove, and bat, and stuff in our house. I used to play with him, and he took me to watch games. My first time was at Nishinomiya stadium, I think...the Hankyu Braves. And after that, I wanted to see a game at Koshien.

J: Ehh, really? Oh, so you were going to stadiums from quite a young age?

K: Yeah.

T: How did it feel going Koshien and places back then?

K: It was kinda scary. There was a load of scary looking people there.

T: Scary looking people? *laughs*

K: Like really drunk people, and stuff.

J:Oh, all the hecklers.

K: The staduims didn't look as smart as they do now.

J: Ohh, of course.

K: They were kind of grubby.

J: So about Hanshin doing really well this year, they'll definitely win today's game? Where are they playing today?

T: Today is..

K: Against the Giants, right?

T: Yeah, the Giants.

K: At Tokyo Dome.

T: Their nemesis, the Giants.

J: The legendary fued between the Giants and the Tigers, right?

K: Well, yeah. For the opening match, Tokyo Dome is a bit hard going though.

J: I thought you just said they were gonna win by a mile?!

K: Hahaha.

J: Already thats not the case!

T: He's suprisingly calm about it, right?

K: No, its just that at the moment, Tokyo Dome carries some not so good memories. I've been to watch them there many times.

T: Oh, right.

K: I don't have very good memories of it.

J: Is it bad?'

T: They'll be starting about now, at 18:00, won't they?

K: They will be, yeh.

J: Don't we upload this at 19:00?

K: Yeh, yeh.

T: Ahh. Oh, they'll be just about finishing the third round or so?

K: Ahh.

J: I see.

K: But they'll probably be hitting ???(バコバコ)*1. They might still be on the second round.

J, T, K: Hahaha.

J: Well, its good to think about it in a positive way.

K: Yeh, yeh, yeh.

J: What are the thoughts of our so called sports journalist about Hanshin's chances this year? *gestures to Tasai*

T: Well, as for me, Hanshin are..I was talking to my wife about this before, and despite being a really popular team, in reality, they rarely win.

K: Yes.

J: Oh, is that right?

K: They never win.

T: Yeh, yeh, yeh

K: They're weak, to start with.

J, T: Haha

K: I even imagine them as a weak team.

T: Yeah.

J: I see. So its not like they are famous for being a strong team like the Giants?

K: The Giants are invincible.

J: Well, yeah.

K: Its like they have to be strong.

J: Yeh, yeh.

K: Hanshin are like...even though they're weak, you like them, haha.

J: Hahaha.

T: So people used to say, Dame Tora!/ No good Tigers!' at one point and stuff. But, what is it? The mentality of Osaka people?

K: Well, even if they loose, it doesn't hurt very deeply.

J: Ahh, right. Unlike Giants fans, who would be hurt at even a small loss. Hanshin fans don't have such a weak heart?

K: We don't.

J: Ahh, amazing.

T: Its incredible, thier popularity. They are more popular than the Giants.

K: Yeh

T: The Sports newspapers down there, if they have like 8 or so pages, 4 or 5 pages will be dedicated to Hanshin.

J: Oh, that much?!

T: They even cover the minor team at Naruouhama, with their results and a comment.

K: The minor team is really well recieved, and everyone gets really carried away with it.

J: Hahaha.

T: Yeh, yeh, yeh.

J: Isn't that the reason they never get that strong?

K: Well, in the end, yes.

T: Hahaha. No, but they are talked about, even as the minor team.

J:Ehh

K: And with all these fans, theres kind of a supporters' association, and everyone gets full of themself.

T: Hahaha.

J: Oh, really? Kami is listening silently though. I wonder what he thinks. Don't gods know much about baseball?

Kami: No, no, I've been listening the whole time. But Hanshin are quite strong, aren't they? I mean, they are not the best in Japan, but don't they often win? The league win?

K, T: No..

K: They don't.

T: Once in 1985, and once in 2000, that time with Lotte in the Japan series, and once at the time they changed over from Nomura san to Hoshino san.

K: Yeah, league wins.

T: Its only been about 3 or 4 times hasn't it?

Kami: When you say weak...well, they have gotten stronger recently, but I always think of the BayStars as the weakest.

T: Yeah, Yokohama never win either.

Kami: I didn't think Hanshin were that weak.

K: Well, overall, they are getting better. Like, thier average..the gap is closing.

T: Well, Hiroshima won three times in a row. The Central league is sort of bunched up like that. The Giants are just ahead.

J: Just a bit, right. Ahh, it exciting isnt it? How far will Hanshin get this year?! They'll win?

K: Of course.

J: They will win.

T: Should we make a promise to do something if they win?

K: If they win?

T: If they win...or if they don't win? But, they will definitely win, right?

K: Hmm.. *Everyone laughs*

J: Hang on a second, you started by saying they will win by a mile, and now 'Hmm..'. You're saying 'Hmm..' for 5 minutes.

K: Its because I don't know what will happen.

T: Well, yeah. You don't know whats gonna happen.

K: Well, its cause its an irregular season.

J: Well, of course.,

T: Yeah.

K: Cause its a tight schedule.

J: Oh, because its tight?

K: There are no inter-league games, and no All Star games. Im not sure how the climax will go.

Kami: Lets do something if they win.

J: Oh, yeh, if they win.

Kami: If they win.

K: If Hanshin win?

Kami: Yeh, if we did that, we'd be all looking forward, supporting Hashin.

K: Well, ok, if Hanshin win let's do an event on this program.

J, T: Oh!

J: What kind of event?

K: Well, im not sure, it would have to be next year, and I don't know if we could have guests, but lets do something like that.

J:Oh!

K: In that way everyone would be supporting right?

T: Yeah.

J: Shall we do a 'The Freedom of Expression' event?

T: "In celebration of the Hanshin Tigers' win!"

K: Im not sure we need such a crown.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Well, anyhow, we'll do an event.

K:Yeh.

J: I think we've created the motivation for people to support Hanshin with this.

T: Yes, its turned out well.

K: Like a live broadcast or something?

J: Oh, that would be good. Thats a good idea.

K: Well, ok, this isn't what we're supposed to be talking about today.

T: It wasn't supposed to be about Hanshin, was it?

J: Well, as today is the opening of the baseball season, let me share a piece of news concerning professional baseball.

This is the news that Lotte are using a baseball which features the Mercedes Benz logo. Manager Iguchi says, the Marines are at the top too! In the first game of this season at their main stadium, the Zozo Marines Stadium, the ball they use will have Mercedes Benz Japan's (thier sponsor's) logo printed onto it. This comes to fruition as a result of thier manager Iguchi being a big Merecdes Benz fan. Iguchi said to his team on the 8th, 'Since I started playing professional baseball at age 22, up until now over 20 years later, I've always driven a Mercedes Benz. Just as these cars are admired from around the world, I want the Marines to reach the top this season.'

K: Yeah.

T: Its great, isn't it.

J: Eh, Tasai san, have you seen it?

T: I saw it earlier. Its stamped on about the size of a seal.

J: Is it small?

T: Well, its like 'Benz!'

K: I kinda want one.

T: Yeh, its cool, right?

J: So, it doesn't cause any obstacle when grasping the ball?

T: No, it doesn't. Its just the Benz logo.

J: I see. So its not like it catches on your fingers and effects your throw?

T: Well, I wonder..

K: It doesn't! It would be a problem if it did.

J: It would be problematic, right? But conversely, if you pay money, you can have this type of thing engraved on the ball. What do you think, Kaoru? What if you had the Dir en grey logo put on the ball in one of the Hanshin Tigers' official games?

K: Oh, I'd like that.

T: But I get the feeling that people would want to do that a lot with Hanshin.

J: I wonder how much it costs?

T: Probably a million or so yen. I don't think Mercedes Benz will be the cheapest either.

J: Thats right.

K: But if its on the ball, it won't be seen on TV right?

J: No, it won't.

K: So, you wouldn't even know about it, unless it was pointed out. ???*2 Also, if the guy who gets a home run puts it on SNS or something.

T: Ahh, that would be ideal.

J: It would normally be plastered all over the fences of the stadium, wouldn't it?

K: Yeah, in the stadium.

J: But its kinda fresh, to put in on the balls.

T: Yeah, its cool.

K: On the balls?

J, T: *laugh*

K: ???

J: No, no, no. *laughing* ????

T: Joe san! Don't soil baseball like that! Its an untainted sport!

J:???*3

T: Yeah *laughs*, so you are tainting it!

J: No, but I really wanna put a Dir en grey logo, or a Tora no ana logo on one Hanshin's baseballs.

T: That would be good.

K: Noo, its impossible.

J: But didn't you do a collaboration with them before?

K: Oh, well that was just like an announcement, but this is totally a sponsor.

J: Well, yeah..right.

K: Right?..The amount of money..

J: Totally different right.

K: Yeah, its on a totally different scale.

J: Well, but I imagine professional baseball players seem tacky to Mercedes Benz.

K: Like a thugs or something.

J: Why do I think that, I wonder? Although they're all the same athletes, soccer players don't give off the same atmosphere to me.

K: But even soccer players seem like they are a bit artificial. They suddenly start dressing up, wearing brand clothes..

T: Yeah.

K: They get off planes, dressed up all smart and stuff.

J: They do, yeah.

T: But that might be the influence of Kazu (Kazoyoshi Miura) or Takeda san since they got into the J League.

J: For some reason, if you talk about fashion in the pro-baseball world, I always think of Kuwata san, for example. Also, Shinjo san (Tsuyoshi Shinjo). They have that kind of image. There's not that many..

T: Ahh, right.

J: Like I don't know many with a sense of fashion.

Kami: I think the same! Thats it. They have no fashion sense. They are not cool at all!

T: Thats right.

Kami: They are real sports people. Whatever they wear, thier muscles swell, it looks kinda wierd.

T: Yeh, yeh.

K: Well, yeh.

Kami: But when baseball players or even soccer players wear thier uniform, they look super cool!

J: Absolutely.

T: Ah, I see.

Kami: When they get off airplanes, I want them to wear thier uniforms.

J: Always in thier uniforms.

T: That would be good, yeah.

Kami: They would look so cool!

J: I see.

T: Well, they are professionals, baseball is technical job, they are the ultimate professionals. If you can play baseball, that is everything, I imagine. Thats my follow-up.

J,K: *laugh*

K: Well, today, at this time, the game will still be ongoing.

J: Yes, thats right.

K: I'll be praying for an exciting baseball season.

J: And if Hanshin win?!

K: We'll do an event.

T: Pretty good.

K: Well, we'll finish here for today. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

J, T: Thank you.

*1 バコバコ - Don't know what this means.

*2 Couldn't catch this.

*3 I'm not fluent enough to translate dirty jokes about balls XD Plus Joe is speaking too fast, and there is too much background laughing...thats my other excuse.

#dir en grey #the freedom of expression #tfoe #kaoru #薫

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mae-gi-writes · 4 years

Text

Deobi Playlist (EP 11) | The Boyz Imagine

EP 11: in which Kevin and Mae go on a first date and Juyeon’s girlfriend has bad news.

The Boyz x Hospital Playlist inspired drabble series.

Main Characters: Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin and OC (Mae)

Sides: the rest of The Boyz.

Genre: fluff, slice of life, comedy, BROMANCE BRUH

EP 1 | EP 2 | EP 3 | EP 4 | EP 5 | EP 6 | EP 7 | EP 8 | EP 9 | EP 10 | EP 11

-----

“You’ll be fine,” Hyunjae’s voice is a soothing lullaby to the ongoing tumulant war roaring through Kevin's head as he quickly buttons up his charcoal jeans and glances over at himself in the mirror.

As per Hyunjae's recommendations, Kevin now eyes his jean jacket hiding a white t-shirt underneath, said jeans and matching converse and tries to imagine what Mae might think of him.

"Are you sure?" Kevin repeats.

"Kevin, it's a date. Not a goddamn wedding," Hyunjae's voice resonates through the phone with clear exasperation, "she's not going to judge you for it."

"Okay okay," Kevin takes a deep breath, "you're right. It's just a date."

"Yeah, a date. With Mae. You'll be fine. Just think of it as just the two of you hanging out as you always do."

"Oh my god what if I make a fool of myself? Or worse, what if I spill something on her? Or me? Or what if--"

"Kevin," Hyunjae cuts him off, "breathe, my man."

Kevin does as he's told, inhaling shakily and exhaling through his mouth, "sorry," he mumbles, "I just--I don't want to mess this up."

"And you won't. Do you know how much she likes you?"

Kevin blinks at his reflection, "What?"

Hearing Hyunjae sigh at the other end of the line, his heart suddenly speeds up at the slightest possibility that this love is not one-sided.

"Okay, this didn't come from me," Hyunjqe starts, "but--well, the reason why I was so keen foe you two to, you know, get together, is because I knew that she--that she liked you back."

"You knew? And you kept this from me?!"

"Hey, it wasn't my secret to tell okay!"

"HYUNJAE WHAT THE FUCK."

"I'M SORRY SHE SAID SHE'D CIRCUMCISE ME IF I TOLD ANYONE."

Kevin's fingers reach up to pinch the bridge of his nose, "what about Juyeon? Does he know?"

Silence.

"HYUNJAE."

"Yes yes, alright! He knows too! But I couldn't possibly keep the secret for myself! It was too good to tell!"

"So all this time you both knew?!"

"We couldn't just betray Mae's feelings just like we didn't betray yours," his friend is quick to point out.

"Fine, fine. You're right," Kevin pauses, "but still--"

"Let's not continue this or you might be late for your date."

Kevin's eyes impulsively flit over to the clock on his nightstand, before letting out a reluctant groan of agreement, "fine. But I have questions when I return."

"Aye sir."

Kevin had planned out the day with precise timing and to the finest detail. They were to have lunch at a coffee shop overlooking the Han River, a location chosen both because of the beautiful view it gave and for its location, since it was close to the arcade he'd carefully picked out just a few days prior. After that, they'd head over to the arcade for an afternoon of fun and games, and later on they could walk along the Han River, hand in hand, while watching the sunset coating the entire city in warm shades of gold.

But of course, he should've known that everything would just go wrong from the moment he set his mind to make this day as perfect as possible.

For starters, they met up at the coffee shop entrance only to realize that it's closed for renovation. As a result, they had no choice but to find a nearby fast food joint, settling on greasy burgers and too-salty fries to match and although Mae assures him that she is perfectly fine with that choice, it definitely does not hit the sweet romantic spot that Kevin has been aiming for.

“Honestly, this suits more my style anyway,” Mae says as she bites a big mouthful of beef and bacon burger.

“Sure,” is what he mumbles, though his mind is clearly trying to piece up together a better action plan for the rest of the day to come.

It’s fine, he tells himself internally, it will definitely get better from there. Right? Right?

It doesn’t.

The moment they head to the arcade, they are bombarded with a group of ten-year old children running around and screaming at the top of their lungs, clambering up on makeshift motorbikes and squealing at the top of their lungs as they attempt to shoot down zombies through a two-dimensional screen.

It’s practically impossible to hear what Mae is saying, yet have a romantic date together.

“Kevin,” Mae shouts over the cacophony of piercing screams echoing throughout the neon-coloured room. She tugs down onto his arm so that her lips reach his ear, “we don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, it’s fine!”

“But that was what I had planned--”

“It’s okay, we’ll figure something out!”

He tries not to show his displeasure, but the scowl breaks through his forced nonchalance. Mae, having spotted his change in expression, tugs more insistently onto his arm, “it’s okay Kev. Come on.”

It’s only until they stumble out of the arcade -- Kevin sporting a sour expression -- that Mae bursts into a soft chuckle at the said man’s face.

She nudges him lightly on the shoulder, “come on, Kev. It’s not that bad. We’ll find something else to do.”

“But I know you’ve always wanted to go on a date in an arcade,” he mumbles out, words sounding a little whinier than he’s intended. Mae can’t help but laugh at how cute he sounds and looks at this very moment, like a child in need of a lollipop to feel better and as if on its own accord, her hand reaches out to pat his head.

Kevin blinks down at her in surprise, at the lingering smile faltering at the corner of her lips upon realizing how close they are at this very moment. Clearing her throat and quickly turning away so as to avoid direct confrontation of this awkward atmosphere, Mae gestures towards the Han River without meeting his eyes.

“How about we go for a walk?” she asks. “Okay,” he mumbles, still slightly put out that all that planning has resulted in absolutely nothing. What if Mae thinks he actually doesn’t really care about first impressions? Or what if she’s someone who actually loves big romantic gestures and had been expecting so much from him, only to be disappointed by his lack of effort? These sort of questions keep on daunting the back of Kevin’s mind as the pair make their way to the riverside. The sun is shining in the distance, though grey clouds linger underneath like a barrier that already hints there will be no sunset today, which only makes Kevin want to stomp his foot in protest. It’s not fair! Chants his inner subconscious as Mae’s voice chimes through the air:

“So this is definitely not the kind of date that I had been expecting.”

“Thanks Mae,” he mutters, “that’s exactly what I want to hear right now.”

She can’t help but burst out laughing at his face transformed into a pout, eyebrows drawn together and lips turned down, clearly upset by it all, “and here I thought you were one with the big romantic gestures.”

“Look, I had the date all planned out to the finest detail,” Kevin protests as they reach the riverbank, “it was perfect in my head. And then all this shit happened.”

“You tried,” she grins, “I appreciate that.”

“And yet, you’re still laughing.”

“It’s funny! You should see yourself! I’ve never seen you pouting that much in my entire life.”

“Because I wanted today to be special,” he all but grumbles, scowling at how funny she finds it when he’s put so much effort. And for what? Absolutely nothing! “I didn’t want it to be just any date.”

“It’s fine, really. It’s just a date.”

“It’s not--” his eyes catch her own, blazing with emotion, “--just a date. It was officially our first. I just wanted it to be special, you know?”

There’s a slight pause as the girl takes in his words, a half-smile still dancing at the corners of her lips as she tries to find any kind of fault to the young man who thinks he has screwed everything up. In truth, she couldn’t have asked for anything better, and the fact that Kevin’s plans -- despite his amazing preparation -- have failed just makes it all the more special, and will definitely be something she’ll cherish forever.

But she knows, no matter how much she talks, Kevin will definitely keep beating himself up about it because that is just the kind of person he is, the kind of person that expects so much from themselves, only to loathe themselves for it for reasons that shouldn’t exist in the first place.

So she does the only thing that she thinks will boost his morale. She closes the gap between their bodies in one fluid movement before stretching up on her toes to kiss his cheek.

Kevin’s eyes are as round as saucers when she pulls back, jaw falling slack at her more than intimate action. He can’t recall the last time they’ve been this close, and it had definitely not been on romantic terms.

This, this feels different. It is different. His hand tingles with the desire to touch his cheek, just to feel the residual warmth followed by her soft imprint.

“Thank you,” Mae murmurs as Kevin probes at her face in an attempt to find out what is going on inside that head of hers. From the soft peony colour dusting her cheeks, he’d have to think that she is definitely smitten. She continues in that shy, soft voice that is a complete contrast to her usual strong tone, “what you intended was meaningful enough.”

His lips twitch, threatening to break into a shit-eating grin as he replies, "no problem," in what he hopes is a nonchalant, blazéed manner.

They continue striding down the pathway and it is then that Kevin finds the courage to brush the back of his knuckles against hers. And when her eyes flutter to his with curiosity, he forces his courage forward, wraps his fingers around her own before squeezing softly.

He refuses to meet her questioning gaze, instead focusing on the sight ahead. The sun is melting into the Han river's surface, covered up by clouds so that only strands of pale light slither through. It is definitely not the most romantic mood he'd wished for, definitely not the perfect date he'd carved out in his head.

But it'll do for now. He is content enough, because Mae is at his side, because his heart is now full with butterflies as he thinks of more exciting days to come.

Later, the pair find themselves at a late night convenience store to buy cold canned coffee drinks and a bowl of ramen to share. Setting down at one of the outside tables and huddling together to escape the bite of the cold, Mae allows herself to get a whiff of Kevin's cologne, a scent that she grew up knowing and yet, right now this scent means so much more.

"Now this, this is the best date I've ever had," she exclaims, slurping up the ramen and allowing the salty taste of soy sauce and Korean chilli fill her tongue, "how you gonna beat this, Kev?"

"If this was what you call the beat date, then you haven't seen anything honey."

"Oh, overconfident now are we?" She says, a little more comfortable with being playful.

Kevin rolls his eyes, chewing on his mouthful of noodles before passing the bowl over to her once more, "You're the one who apparently has low standards. But that's okay, It can only get better from there."

"See, that's not something you should say to your date."

"Why not?"

"That's something you'd say to like, I don't know, your best friend."

"Aren't you? My best friend?"

Mae's halfway through gulping some of her coffee when her mind registers his words, and boy is she glad that she manages not to choke, "uh--I mean, wait--I don't understand."

"If you're wondering whether you're my date or my best friend, don't worry," Kevin smirks, "you're both."

"And how does that work?"

"It doesn't. You're my best friend, and I love you--"

As soon as the words fall from his lips, the said man's ears redden as realization hits him like a truck.

"What--" Mae breathes, "what did you just say?"

"Nothing."

"Say it. I heard it, but I want you to say it."

"I--I--" his eyes darted back and forth with growing panic. What the fuck Kevin? He wants to slap himself across the back of his head. This is your first date! How the fuck did you ruin it so fast?

"Kevin," her tone was serious.

"I said that I--" he takes a shaky breath, exhales slowly and tries not to throw up from embarrassment, "that I love you."

The hitch in the back of her throat does not go unnoticed by him however, which makes the situation just marginally better.

"Look, forget I said anything. It's really not--"

"I won't forget it."

"Oh come on Mae, you can't use that for blackmail

--"

"I won't forget it because I know that this thing between us," she motions between the two of them, "is something special. And I don't want to risk anything by saying it now."

The way Kevin's heart soars through his chest like a hummingbird about to beat out of its cage causes his mouth to stretch into a shit-eating grin, one that he can't hide no matter how much he tries, and one that keeps on glowing brighter when he notices the blush coating Mae's cheeks.

"I--I know I feel something," Mae continues, trying not to stutter underneath the intense stare he's pinn3d her down with. Suddenly, she is all too aware of the lack of distance between their bodies, the warmth radiating from his chest, "but I don't want to say anything, not when I'm not ready yet."

Kevin nods, his smile turning gentle, "I get it, Mae."

His hand reaches out gently, smoothing over her cheek to curl a strand of hair behind her ear. He doesn't need any verbal confirmation of her part yet. It's good enough that she feels something special for him something that can turn into so much more. For him right now, that's good enough.

"Juyeon? I need to talk to you."

The alarming tone in Yunji's voice causes Juyeon's mind to come to attention. He straightens up from his seat before asking, "what's wrong? What is it?"

"I--" there's a short pause as she takes in a brrath at the other end of thr line, "Please just come."

"Where are you?" He is already standing from his seat as he talks, moving towards the corridor while dodging a few nurses scurrying by, "I'm coming."

A few minutes later, he hesiatates slightly upon arriving at Yunji's office door. She had clearly stated that they should avoid visiting esch other during office hours to avoid being the talk of town, but the seriousness in her tone cannot be ignored, no matter how suspicious it may seem.

He knocks on the door, before he hears a soft "come in."

Yunji, sitting at her desk with a stack of medical documents before her, jumps slightly when their eyes meet. Motioning for him to close the door, Juyeon does as he's told before taking a seat right opposite her.

"Yunji," he starts softly, not failing to notice how hard she's trying to avoid his eyes at all costs. His heart clenches with apprehension, "what is it?"

He watches Yunji's bottom lip tremble, notices the soft glistening in her eyes, and instantly his mind swerves into panic mode: does she have an incurable disease? Or maybe her family? What about if someone had died?

And then, the words hit him like a truck.

"Juyeon, I'm pregnant."

-----

Tagging @juyeonzz @thesingingfae1905 @gratefulmaria

Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist! :)

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jenanigans1207 · 3 years

Text

Lonely with Me |Renga|

Okay so I binged all 8 eps of Sk8 today. And like, I know ep 8 is already out but if I had started watching last week, this is the fic I would have written to help myself cope with the tragedy that was ep 7. And I decided that I want to write it anyways because I still have a lot of feelings about it. So, I hope you enjoy!

-- x

It wasn’t supposed to rain today, but Reki doesn’t care.

The rain patters to the ground around him, drowning out the sound of his ragged breathing, his broken heartbeats. It trickles down his back, across his face, it feels like tears. It wasn’t supposed to rain, but Reki thinks there’s some sort of ironic humor in the universe, some sort of sick joke that he has to endure as he walks away from his best friend, head bowed as his shattered heart somehow finds a way to break a little more with every step.

At this point, he’s already drenched to the bone anyways, the water sloshing in his shoes with each slowing step. His house is still a few streets away and the lamps are the only light he has to guide him there. And he should be going home, he has every reason to go home, but he finds that his feet stop moving of their own accord. He tries to breathe in the cool air of the rain, tries to feel the dampness against his cheek and think of it as refreshing. It doesn’t work.

Because the only thing he’s actually thinking about is Langa and the way he didn’t follow.

Reki walked away and Langa— Langa just let him go.

Langa, who stopped him from doing reckless things. Langa who tried to nurse him back to health when he was broken. Langa who had never let Reki get too far away, who had always reached out for him, circled back for him, sought him out in a crowd. Langa, who seemed to always hear Reki, even when he wasn’t speaking, who seemed to understand the language of Reki’s soul and managed to read between the lines. Langa, who Reki trusted more than anyone else, who Reki needed in his life, wanted in his life. Langa just let him walk away like he wasn’t just one gentle breeze away from falling apart completely.

Did Langa not see the way he was hurting, not hear the barbs laced into all of his words? For all that Langa had always been good at understanding what Reki really meant, he didn’t seem able to figure it out tonight. He’d just stared wide-eyed at Reki’s back as he’d stomped away through the puddles, his feelings washing away from the space between the two of them, drowned out a little more with every raindrop that seems to punctuate their growing distance.

He tries not to think about it, but his head is an echo chamber, replaying his words over and over again. Replaying Langa’s silence on loop until it drives him absolutely insane. What he needs is to get away from it all, to get home, to lock himself in his room. Reki needs to bury his face in a pillow and block out the rest of the world, not sit outside in the rain and catch his death.

Reki slumps to the ground anyways, pressing his back against the stone wall and dropping his forehead against his knees. He’d been fighting the weight of this for days, watching as Langa got further and further ahead of him. It had been a hard battle but at least then he’d been treading water, managing to somehow stay afloat despite it all. He had been able to put his fear of being left behind away and had been excited for his friend. But now— now he was drowning from it, the weight pulling him straight to the depths of the ocean with no hope of escaping. Reki may be good at skateboarding but it turns out he’s terrible at swimming and even worse at dealing with these feelings. The light of the surface is so far away now, he can’t even see it.

Logic told him that he should be happy for his friend. And he was, of course he was. Langa was brilliant and watching him skate was magical. It had been since the very first time Reki had seen him take on the S. Hell, it had been magical before that. From the first moment Langa stepped foot on Reki’s skateboard, only to fall flat on his back less than a second later, Reki had been enthralled. There was something about the way Langa moved on a skateboard, something about the way he made the sport his own— it was captivating, breathtaking, impossible to look away from. Everyone saw it— Snow had risen to the tip of everyone’s tongue lately, a name thrown around casually as if people knew him.

But they didn’t know him, not the way Reki did. They weren’t used to watching him practice skating, they hadn’t seen him start at the bottom. They had never seen his face as he’d hit the ground after his hundredth failed attempt at a trick, only to watch it harden back into determination as he got up to try it again. They didn’t know what his laugh sounded like, or the way he brushed his hair out of his face, they didn’t know what he looked like at the end of a long night, blinking the sleep away. They knew Snow, but Reki knew Langa. He knew the touch of Langa’s hand around his wrist as he shook his head with finality, cutting off some silly idea before Reki could even finish forming it. He knew the smile that Langa reserved only for when he nailed a new skill he’d been practicing.

He knew what it was like to have Langa nestled inside of his chest, right up against his heart. He was the only person Langa read like an open book, the only one Langa protected. Reki still remembered the look on Langa’s face after his beef with Adam, the way Langa’s expression had switched from worry to fury in such a quick second that Reki would’ve missed it if he’d blinked. He knew Langa as well as he knew himself because Langa was his best friend, his most important person. Langa was the person he shared his passion with, the one who listened to him as he rattled on and on about everything skating related.

Langa was the one he had left behind in the rain. The one who’d done nothing but watch him go.

God. This wasn’t supposed to hurt so bad.

The worst part was that there was nobody to blame. He couldn’t possibly be mad at Langa for being a genius— it wasn’t like Langa had chosen that. It wasn’t even like Langa had purposely wielded it against him. All Langa had been doing this time was having fun, that was clear in the look in his eyes every time he stepped onto his board. He’d been finding his place in this new world that he was suddenly thrust into, finding a way to express himself through all the things he’d been through. He was finding something to be passionate about again, something to give him back a piece of himself that he’d felt like he’d lost. He loved skating as much as he had loved snowboarding and Reki would never take that away from him. It came to Langa as natural as breathing by now and that was something Reki could be jealous of, but he couldn’t blame Langa for it.

He couldn’t blame himself either, though, not really. Because that would make it better. If the fact of the matter was just that he hadn’t tried hard enough, hadn’t put in the hours practicing— if the truth was that he was a coward, that he scared easily and didn’t have the guts for this, well that was something he could face. More than that, it was something he could fix. He could put it more time practicing, he could study the other skaters with more dedication, he could work on facing his fears. If it was his fault, he could do something about it, could manage to close the gap between him and Langa, even if just marginally. But that wasn’t the truth. Reki loved skating, too. Reki had been skating for nearly as long as Langa had been snowboarding, He had put in years, numerous broken bones and a lot of sleepless nights. He had watched video after video online, studied all the top skaters at the S, he’d put in the work and even when he didn’t see progress as fast as he would have liked to, he put in more work.

There wasn’t anything Reki could do that he hadn’t already been doing, There wasn’t anything that would allow him to catch back up to Langa.

And maybe that’s why it actually hurt so bad. Because the fact of the matter, the one Reki had been forced to face jump after jump after jump, that graffiti star an unattainable goal mocking him from just a few feet away, was that he and Langa weren’t the same. They weren’t in the same category, they weren’t the same skill level. And the gap between them was only going to grow wider. Because no matter how many times Reki made that same jump, no matter how many techniques he tried, he simply couldn’t reach any higher. And yet, it seemed like Langa got a little closer to the stars every time his feet touched his deck.

Pretty soon Langa would be so far away that he’d be nothing but a brilliant speck of light for Reki to admire from afar. He’d be nothing but fond memories of a time Reki had found his best friend, the person who fit the edges of his soul with perfect ease. He would watch Langa rise in the ranks and he would think of these months they spent together, learning to speak each other’s language, to meet each other in the middle. He would remember Langa’s laugh, the way he would duck his head as if it could somehow hide the melodic sound. And then he would think about how he’d lost all of that, how it had been just enough to whet his appetite before it had been ripped away from him, forever leaving a Langa-shaped hole in his heart.

And it was true that Langa hadn’t left Reki behind— yet. So far, Langa always came back for Reki, always glanced over his shoulder to make sure Reki was still there. Whenever he accomplished something new, Reki was the first person he showed, the approval he sought. But Reki had seen him skate against Adam, had seen the way he’d effortlessly flipped straight over Adam’s hug, like it was nothing. Like it was the only obvious thing he could have done. He saw the way Langa wanted more, craved for something further ahead of him. And if Reki was behind him already, there was no way he would ever be able to help Langa satisfy that craving.

It was really only a matter of time before Langa left Reki behind.

Or, it was a matter of time before Langa should leave Reki behind if he wanted to keep advancing and growing. Just as these feelings of bitterness had been weighing Reki down, he knew that he was starting to way Langa down. Langa could never get better if he kept skating with Reki, kept trying to match Reki’s pace instead of setting his own. He couldn’t develop his skill any further by Reki’s side and even though that cut, even though it hurt worse than every broken bone that Reki had ever had, stung worse than all of the road rash he’d acquired over the years, he didn’t want to be the reason Langa was stuck. Just like he didn’t want Langa to get hurt because of him, he didn’t want Langa to give up his potential, either. Langa was destined to shine and Reki was casting a shadow over his brilliant light.

So as much as it hurt, as terribly as it sucked— and it did, oh it did— Reki knew that he had to break free from Langa. He knew that he had to put the space between them, to sever the tie that Langa was using to drag him along. Because Langa was— well, he was Langa.

He was quiet, but genuinely interested in everything Reki had to say. He was soft spoken but the things he did say were brilliant. He added great insight. He was protective, fierce—

Reki pulled his knees closer to his chest.

He needed to stop thinking like this. He needed to haul himself off the ground and finish dragging his sorry ass home. He needed to collapse, maybe pretend to be sick tomorrow so he could lay in bed all day. He needed to do something because right now he was sitting in one spot, an easy target for all the emotions he had been trying so desperately to avoid. He didn’t think he could outrun them, not anymore, but he ought to at least try.

Somewhere in the distance, the sound of water starts to shift. It takes Reki a few seconds to realize that he’s hearing more than just raindrops now, he’s hearing a set of footsteps in the puddles. He considers for a moment trying to get up now, but whichever other poor soul is out in this rain has already seen him and really, he still doesn’t have the will to do anything but stay exactly where he is. If he’s lucky, the person will just pass him right on by, biting back whatever questions they have for a young boy sitting in the rain with his head bowed.

“Reki.” The sound of Langa’s voice is almost enough to make Reki jump right out of his skin. “You’re going to get sick if you keep sitting there.”

“So?” Reki manages to mumble, pressing his forehead firmer against his knees.

Langa sighs and Reki refuses to look up at him, refuses to see the way the lights are reflecting in his eyes, the way his longer hair curls gently at the back of his head. Reki refuses to look up and acknowledge that Langa had actually come after him in the end.

He refuses to look at Langa because if he does, he’ll say all the things he doesn’t want Langa to know.

He doesn’t look at Langa, because if he does, he’ll tell Langa that he doesn’t want him to go, that he wants to keep skating with him for as long as Langa will let him. He’ll tell Langa that he misses him, even if he’s only two feet away. He’ll tell Langa all these things that will become a burden on Langa because he’s too gentle to leave Reki behind, even if he needs to. So it’s up to Reki to cut the ties for his sake and he can’t do that if he sees Langa standing over him in the rain.

“Reki.” Langa repeats, but this time it’s so quiet, it’s almost drowned out by the rain entirely. When Reki doesn’t respond, doesn’t shift even a little bit, Langa steps closer, closer, closer and then he’s sitting down next to Reki, pressing his own back against the stone wall, his shoulder brushing Reki’s in the process.

For a moment, they just sit side by side like this, close enough that Reki can just feel the warmth of Langa’s skin despite the rain that still cascades down on them. They sit in the silence of the late night, no other people daring to be out in weather such as this. It’s almost peaceful, honestly, As peaceful as something can be when Reki is trying to nurse the jagged edges of a broken heart so they don’t get the chance to cut him any deeper.

Reki thinks that Langa is leaving it up to him to talk, to start whatever conversation they’re supposed to be having, It’s a fair thing for Langa to do, considering that Reki is the one who walked away, the one who is clearly carrying some burden— a burden that he only allowed Langa to see a glimpse of. It’s only reasonable to assume that Reki would have more to say after that, but he really doesn’t.

And then Langa shifts next to him, turning so that he’s facing Reki. Reki still isn’t looking at him, but he can see Langa’s legs and feet as he moves and then suddenly there’s a warm hand on his shoulder and it’s enough to jolt Reki into at least lifting his head.

He really shouldn’t have because Langa looks just as broken as Reki feels, his wet hair falling limp around his face, the longer edges of his hair kissing his shoulders along with the raindrops. He looks like he’s in pain and Reki’s immediate reaction is to want to fix it, even though he’s the cause of it.

This really became quite the mess.

“I want to skate with you.” Langa says after a moment, the words almost choked, as if he can barely get them out. “I want to beat Adam, but I want to skate with you.”

And there really is a difference there, Reki knows. He can feel it in the way Langa emphasizes the words. Beating Adam, that’s a one time thing. But skating together? That’s— that’s everything. That’s daily, nightly, forever. That’s the exact thing that Reki has unintentionally fallen in love with. Skating together is laughing together, it’s continuing to speak each other’s language. Skating together means more of Langa’s hands as he bandages up Reki’s newest injury, more chances to watch Langa’s eyes light up as he masters something new. Skating together is continuing to bare their souls to each other, meeting each other in the middle.

Langa doesn’t want to compete with Reki, that’s what he’s saying. He wants to share this with Reki, for it to be something they both hold dear. Langa wants to surpass Adam and leave him in the dust, but he wants to keep Reki at his side.

“You’re better than I am.” Reki responds feebly, glancing down to where Langa’s foot is almost touching his. “You should go on ahead.”

For a moment, Langa seems to chew on his response, thinking of how to properly say whatever words are all jumbled up in his mind. Reki has seen him do it before and, apparently, if Langa gets his way, he’ll see him do it again in the future.

“I don’t skate to be good.” Langa finally says. “I skate to have fun. And I have fun skating with you.”

“You have fun skating with Adam, too.” Reki replies. He doesn’t want to say these words, doesn’t want to keep digging the knife deeper into his own heart, but he tries to anyways. “You can keep having fun skating with Adam because he’ll keep challenging you.”

“No.”

It’s all Langa says before there’s a set of arms enveloping Reki, pulling him flush into Langa’s soaking wet body. Reki falls into him, his arms finally letting go of his legs as he allows himself a brief moment to just be held by Langa. And then, after a few seconds tick by, he wraps his own arms back around Langa, his hands fisting in the back of Langa’s shirt as he pulls him closer, pressing his face into Langa’s shoulder.

Langa’s hold is firm and unyielding as he buries his own face in the hair on top of Reki’s head. They don’t speak, not for a long time, but Langa’s always been good at hearing what’s inside Reki’s heart, even if Reki hasn’t tried putting it into words. And the longer he remains in Langa’s embrace, the more he realizes that he, too, can read into the depths of Langa’s heart. He can feel it in the way Langa smooths a hand down his back, the desperation for things to not end here. He can hear it in Langa’s rattling breaths, that he’s going to keep fighting for this, that he’s not going to just let Reki walk away again.

“I’m sorry—“ Reki starts to say, but his apology is cut short by Langa pulling away from him. Not far— not far at all, in fact. He’s so close, his blue eyes sparkling in a way that Reki has never seen before.

Their arms are still wrapped around each other as their gazes lock and there seems to be something filling the air besides the rain suddenly. Reki tries to swallow, to form the rest of his apology, to explain to Langa that he’s just afraid of losing the one thing that matters to him more than anything else. He wants to tell Langa that losing him will hurt worse than losing his friend in the past and that he’s handled it completely the wrong way but his intentions were good and he just wanted Langa to shine—

But before any of the words can find their way past the lump in his throat, Langa is leaning in and Reki can’t do anything but lean in, too, his eyes fluttering as the feeling between them grows to an almost unbearable level. They’re close, so close, painfully close—

The wall of water that drenches them is somehow cold, despite the fact that they were both already dripping wet. Reki makes some sort of startled noise and shoots backwards, trying to brush his hair out of his face. Langa is in the same spot, arms out to the side as he tries to shake some of the extra water off, but there’s a smile on his face. The driver of the car that had drenched them yells some sort of apology out of their window before continuing onwards. Reki, too stunned to have any idea what to do, turns to Langa only to see his shoulders shaking with laughter.

And then suddenly he’s laughing out loud, throwing his head back as he tucks his wet hair behind his ears and Reki finds that he’s laughing too. He’s laughing and his ribs and lungs are burning and it feels good and warm against the cold of the evening, it’s a balm against the storm of emotions that has only just started to be quelled inside of him.

“I’m sorry,” He says to Langa again, after they’ve finally gotten their laughter back under control. He knows Langa doesn’t need an apology, but he deserves one. “I was just— feeling left behind and lonely.”

“Reki, I’ll never leave you behind.” Langa says with the same conviction that he had promised Reki that he wouldn’t give up skateboarding, even if he got seriously injured. He says it with so much feeling that Reki knows it’s more than a promise, it's a guarantee.

Even though he still doesn’t like Langa going up against Adam again, even though he worries for Langa’s safety and still knows that he’s going to have bouts of loneliness as he tries desperately to close this gap between them, as he chases in Langa’s shadow, he knows that he’s going to have Langa by his side through it all. And maybe being lonely isn't terrible if he has someone to be lonely with.

Reki stands up finally, tucking his skateboard under one arm and extending his other hand to Langa. “Whatever you say mister hot shot, Snow.”

Langa takes his hand with a dramatic roll of his eyes and allows Reki to haul him to his feet. “If you act like that, maybe I will leave you behind.”

Or maybe, Reki thinks as Langa falls in step next to him as they head towards his house together, an unspoken agreement to dry off passing between them, he won’t be lonely at all.

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