#and now i go back to my hiatus bc this site is bad for my blood pressure | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

agustdiv1ne · 3 years

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thank you + milestone!!

damn, never thought we'd get here, did we?

in all honesty, it's been a pretty shit year. march 'til now has felt like the same month on repeat with tiny tweaks to make it all so much worse. but i'm not here to complain about the worst parts of this year, i'm here to celebrate the best ones.

this was the year that i finally started writing, that i was finally spurred to open a google doc and just type away until a tiny work of fiction stared back at me. my first one was 1k words, a rant to get all of my emotions off of my chest with an idol as my muse. it felt...great, though it also felt a bit odd writing after being an avid reader for years. i always did prefer essays to creative writing, but this year definitely changed that perspective.

i wrote that first blurb along with another fic in late july, and in early august, i asked my friends if i should post them. om august 3rd, i changed this blog from a fic rec to a fic writing blog just like that. i regret none of it.

it's been nearly five months since i revamped this blog and i couldn't be more grateful for the support i have gotten from all of you, whether it be a kind comment, a like, a reblog, all of it. i never thought anyone would like my content, but i've been proven severely wrong by this community. from my irls that are on here, to my lovely mutuals and followers, to those i've talked to a lil bit on this hellsite, to the writers whose fics i absolutely adore, to those who have left a like or a comment on one of my fics, i want to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart ♡

have a happy and healthy new year! i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

though i'm painfully bad at writing letters and getting all sappy, i wanted to write them anyways hahaha let's goooo

to @hwaddict:

my irl best friend!! my partner in crime!!!! i love you sm carly, and there are not enough words in this world for me to describe the extent of my love. you have been there for me during my lowest moments, you've seen me cry, and i don't cry in front of many ppl. i trust you with my life and i'm so glad that we became friends back in middle school bc you are one reasons that spur me to keep going. i can't wait to see where life takes us and know that while i might not always be able to be there physically (especially with college right around the corner), i will always be there for you in any way i can be. again i love you and i can't wait to conquer next year with you ♡♡

to @hopejanaee:

hope!! hobi!!! one of my irls! though we just became friends earlier this year, it feels like we've been friends for ages. it's crazy how close we grew so quickly but i am so grateful to have you in my life. you never fail to make me laugh whenever we're together and you're so chaotic but in such a good way hahaha. you were the one who got me into writing with your own wonderful fics so thank yoi for that. i'm so happy that we became friends because you're so kind and caring and ahhhhhh i love u sm ♡

to @oikawasmilkbread:

we talked for like 0.2 seconds but you are so kind and hella cool!! it was nice having random conversations with you and i'm so glad you randomly dmed me bc i am shy and i have 0 idea how to start conversations with anyone lmao. i always smile when i see you in my notifs! i hope you have a happy new year!!! ♡

to @luthenia:

i know you're on hiatus but seeing you in my notifs always excites me hahaha. we never talk but you are so supportive of everyone in this community and i just wanted to shout you out for that! your memes are top tier LMAO and i can't wait for when you come back, happy new year ♡

to @starsforten:

we also talked for approximately 1 second but it was so fun talking to you about astrology stuff (virgo sun libra rising gang hahahaha) and those teuta matoshi dresses! you are so nice and easy to talk to and i hope your new year is happy and fruitful! ♡

i recommend every single one of these blogs for their amazing content!! i added some of my favorite fics as i'm a whore for great writing hahaaaa

@kinktae

waterloo — a masterpiece! taehyung is so bitter at the beginning and it's adorable seeing how y/n breaks his tough shell. loved this from beginning to the end ♡

hot rod — the 50s slang, the dynamic between hoseok and y/n...*chef's kiss*

@untaemedqueen

welcome to seoul land — werewolf!namjoon really got me going, 100/10 would recommend

graceful gods — this is one of my all-time favorites, greek god!jungkook has my brain going brrrr

@shadowsremedy + @therealmintedmango

support system — adorable!! this is a hybrid!yoongi fic i really enjoy, and the series isn't over yet! check it out~

@bratkook

tear you apart — demon!taehyung...holy shit. i was speechless

@tatertotthethot

the doms next door — THIS SERIES OMG, i've read each part at least five times already. taekook got me acting UP

scream (posted to @yandere-society) — a really cool take on the movie scream with jungkook, yandere fics don't always appeal to me but this one absolutely did

@ateezmakemeweep

broken — the immense ache i felt in my chest while reading this, but i loved both parts with a burning passion. san is so sweet in this :')

@atinybrew

dirty free for all — the ULTIMATE demon!san fic. the writing is absolutely immaculate and this is the first fic that had me blushing down my mf ARMS

rice milk lattes and bryophytes roads — another san fic admittedly because i'm whipped for san lol. anyways, this was cute and hot at the same time and best friend!yunho made my double biasing ass that much happier

@seacottons

pan — an adorable peter pan!hongjoong fic, it had my heart going achhfhsjfjsjf

sir kiss me — circus au with san holy hell i loved every twist and turn of this

@actuallythatwaspromise

bad romance — one of my favorite yunho fics ever, punk rock!yunho x nerd!reader has my entire heart

aurora garden center and desire ink — florist!mingi had me uwuing for the entire fic, this was adorable and i loved it sm

@yeonjuncore

every single fic on this blog is an absolute masterpiece, i swear

the devil's little angel — THIS IS ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVORITES, demon!yeonjun had me screaming and it was just so fun to read and i loved every single second of it so much that i've read it nearly ten times now. so go read it, you won't regret it!

the boy with the horns — another of my ultimate favorites (i told you, their writing is just that amazing), woodland fey!soobin just had me going so soft :(( i literally sobbed at one point, that's how invested i was

bleeding heart — the tension between vampire!yeonjun and vampire slayer!reader had me screeching

curtain call — i have a sad crush vampire!soobin

i love you, always — this felt so..bittersweet? taehyun loves y/n so much, i lowkey cried while reading this

@angelfic

the art of (mis)communication — i am a whore for both reconciliation and yeonjun, 100000/10 pls read this i beg of you

@angelictaehyun

growing pains — ahhh once again a yeonjun fic, my chest hurt a lil bit at some points but it was so sweet!!

@neovisioned

bed of spiderwebs — spiderman!mark has my heart screeching, i loved every second of it ♡

eddie ate dynamite — johnny suh coming for my throat yet again

cupid victorious — cupid!jaehyun :'))) definitely one of my favorites!!

@domjaehyun

quarantine chronicles — ok if you haven't read this or the part two yet then you're missing out big time!! the tension, the buildup, every single part of this fic was just *chef's kiss* but multiply thay by a million

all these years — every single moment of this felt so nostalgic and the ending was so sweet :')

@caiuscassiuss

muse — i keep going back to this one constantly, the angst in this phenomenal and i love artist!taeyong sm here

@neoct-zen

loverboy — HOT, AMAZING, I SCREAMED. the blurbs that accompany this are also top-tier i recommend reading each and every one!!

@moondustis

pink + white — i'm so soft for mark i stg, this was the cutest thing ever

@loviejaehyun

can't avoid this feeling — hockey player!mark is the best thing ever

all tied up — i just- screamed as i read this bc professor!jaehyun is too hot goodbye

@hopejanaee

incapable — this is one of the best yoongi fics i've ever read ngl, it's not completed quite yet but the parts that have been posted are top tier!!

breathless — THIS. I LOVED THIS. yuta is just so hfjshhfhshfnsn and i love this sm

@hwaddict

melting point — big boy mingiiii, 100/10 would recommend

@okayau

house next to mine — frat boy!yeonjun rly got me going, cute and hot at the same time ahhhhbfnsnnf

youth — ADORABLE, yeonjun's confession is peak i love it here

run away — how many yeonjun fics can i fit in this post? (answer: a lot) definitely one of my favorite harry potter aus!! it was awesome seeing how their relationship changed throughout the years and perhaps i teared up a little at the end :'))

@starrychannies

baby steps — ONE OF ALL-TIME MY FAVORITE FICS ON THIS SITE, every single part is so well-written and ahhhhhfhdhhf chan makes me feel some type of way

my stupid — another yeonjun fic! angsty but v cute at the end :')

@baekhvuns

this youth of craziness — 40k words of pure gold, this fic is absolutely one of my favorite san fics ever!!

replacement — prince!ten makes my brain go brrrr, i love how the y/n just speaks her mind here

@masterninjacow

untitled project — i saw soulmate au with mark and i knew would already love it, and i did! pizza boy!mark at that, amazing and i adored it

more amazing blogs!!: @galaxteez, @poutybinz, @lustjoong, @bloominghigh

these are just a few of the fics and blogs i found this year, find more on my fic rec blog @agustdiv1ne-recs!! (my thumbs are starting to hurt i'm so sorry bfjshfhsh)

wrapping up each month since august since that's when i actually started posting LMAO

☆ august

03: good enough — chan

03: bloodsucker — seonghwa

04: cutie — san

09: veloxrotaphobia — mingi

19: want — changbin

21: numb — yunho

100 follower special — i reached 100 followers towards the end of august, my first ever milestone :') also my first ever time taking requests, 'twas very fun ♡

☆ september

03: on camera — jungkook

☆ october

27: oh, worm? — namjoon

31: demon days — san

☆ november

10: a letter to my love — xiaojun

23: bad for u — jaehyun

27: home sweet home — yeonjun

☆ december

christmas bash 2020 — my brain went hey what if you did this- and i listened so here's 17 holiday fics hahahaa (not all of them are out yet but i'm working on it!!)

things i plan to release in 2021!!

☆ sunflower — jimin

☆ cross — yeonjun

☆ landslide — seonghwa

☆ nice save — san

☆ red — hyunjin

☆ a secret series (that will be revealed once i plan everything) — ateez

☆ 4 unrelated secret fics oOoOoo — will i reveal them? you'll just have to wait and see ;)

there will definitely be more posted! these are the ones that are going to be my priority at first, but my imagination is always churning so expect a lot more :)) check out all of non-secret wips here!

i hit 500 followers a couple days ago! i nearly screamed when i saw that LMAO. thank you so much for liking my content because i work hella hard on it :') sometimes i feel like i don't deserve y'all really, but @hwaddict will yell at me if i say that so ig i take it back hfhshhdhg

a post for celebrating this milestone will come as soon as i finish up the rest of my christmas fics!! sorry that i'm so slow :( (hint: my requests will be open, so look out for it!)

so yeah!! that's it, sorry for the painfully long post (i'm sorry to my thumbs for typing this whole thing out </3). thank you to everyone who read this far!! i hope everyone has a happy and healthy new year, and in the words of txt's cover, fuck 2020. may 2021 be a much better year for all of us!!!

much love,

ashlee ♡

#i'm sorry if i missed anyone :((#j know i love and appreciate u a lot #it's j my thumbs are literally cramping up as i type this :(#2021 celebration!#happy new year y'all #lmk if any of links are wrong bc i will fix them asap

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seijch · 3 years

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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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hufflautia · 3 years

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First of all if your new pfp is you girl you are drop dead GORGEOUS! Anyway I had a little idea for a male!slytherin x fem!hufflepuff one shot. So basically they are married and have a teen daughter who is inviting her new ‘bad boy’ boyfriend to dinner. I just think it would be cool to see how slytherin and hufflepuff react haha.

Lots of love <3

Haha no, my pfp is actually one of my favorite pictures of Jessie Mei Li, but I absolutely agree with you on that - she's SO pretty. As Ben Barnes said multiple times, she’s a literal ray of sunshine :')

Oop I love the idea! I didn't respond to this ask immediately after I read it because I was trying to think of a one-shot I could create with the idea, but I decided not to write one bc I am running on one creative brain cell at the moment (I have upcoming exams to thank for that). Also, I’m going on a hiatus very soon because this site has been a source of anxiety for me lately so I’m gonna step away for a bit, but I’ll be back in time for this blog’s one-year anniversary (June 11th✨)

I managed to come up with a ficlet for your idea though! See below. Also, if anyone gets the subtle Shadow and Bone reference, you have all my love.

~ HELLO it's the end of the day. I started writing the ficlet today and expected it to take like 30 minutes or whatever but I have spent HOURS writing and thinking, and now my work is long enough to be labeled a one-shot. I decided to put it into google docs bc tumblr is unreliable sometimes and it didn't let me save at one point so I was like hell no I'm transferring this to google docs so that my work will save properly. 3 PAGES. ITS 3 PAGES AND IM NOT EVEN DONE. Instead of putting the story in this ask answer thing, I decided to post it on its own separate original post - look out for this fic sometime tomorrow or on Sunday.

Lots of love to you, anon <3 I'm so so excited for you to read what I have.

#yea haha I have no brain cells rn #lowkey didnt expect it to take this long #proceeds to write 3 pages

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ex-terfs · 5 years

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I’m curious about how you were introduced to trans exclusionary ideology, and when you realized how toxic it truly is. I’m genuinely curious.

Hello! Sorry for the hiatus.So this is my story & long rant post.I've been among TERFs/Radfems (AKA the Conservative side of "feminism") since 2015. In mid-2016 — with the dangers of having Trump as President — I started getting critical of everything going on in the community, deleted older posts, & stopped reblogging "trans-critical" stuff. In 2017 — after seeing TERFs celebrating that the 'Everyday Feminism' site was facing a financial crisis & after paying more attention at what our "enemies" were trying to say — I unfollowed all the bullies, & eventually started to despise seeing "trans-critical" stuff. Their hatred towards the "big scary Libfems" is what made me rethink my priorities.

Many parts of their ideology had peculiarly attracted my attention back in 2015. As a GNC person who celebrates gender nonconformity, their gender abolition theories seemed very interesting (& I later found out how bigoted they are towards GNC men & GNC people with different identities/pronouns). When I was a sex-repulsed person, their porn-critical & sex-negative theories also seemed very interesting to me (I later found out how bigoted they are towards sex-repulsed people — upholding heteronormativity & saying things like "Haha, nobody loves you", "If you're a man/bisexual/lesbian, you must perform oral sex on your gf"; but still, I'm NO longer in the sex-negative/SWERF community). People sending them death threats was also one of the reasons why I had joined their movement.

It always begins like this. Step 1: you begin exploring anti-kink/anti-porn stuff; Step 2: you begin exploring anti-"MOGAI" stuff; Final step: you turn into a transphobe. That's how I got into this mess.

Second-wave theories originally had a critical focus on the social construction of gender & sexuality, monogamy, submission/masochism, natalism, the family structure, the fear of nonconformity, emotional/economic dependency, religion, & violence.As a feminist, yeah, I still agree with most of these analyses. I love reading academic books. But there was something different about terf/radfem tumblr. & this is all I've noticed over the years.

TERFs treat their word like holy truth.

TERFs use Right-wing "sources" to back up their transphobic & sex-negative arguments (& often associate themselves with conservative groups).

TERFs claim that all men are "biologically/physically the same".

TERFs contradict themselves all the time: claim that sex-repulsed AroAces are "usual straights", mock people who just want to remain single, & at the same time still say that if you don't want to have sex with men, then "you're a lesbian"; they say that people don't owe you sex, & at the same time say it's "not okay" for men to sexually reject a woman for "bad reasons".

TERFs claim that lesbians who are anti-TERF or who don't believe in the "born-this-way" theory are "fake lesbians".

TERFs are against the idea of removing your secondary sexual characteristics; & if an AMAB person doesn't like their "secondary sexual characteristics", then they must be a "delusional fetishist" (srsly I identify as a woman, but I still wish I could remove my uterus & have a breast reduction surgery; & it's not for sexist reasons! Shocking, I know!).

TERFs claim that men can't be raped/abused by women (not all TERFs believe this, but I still see them quietly following the ones who do).

TERFs have definitely never read a book with a different perspective/purpose, yet they will act like total experts on any subject (TERFs act like they're experts on Postmodernism & Queer Theory, but they have no idea what these theories are actually about. These theories are both very complex & don't have only one definition! Shocking, I know!).

TERFs will assume you're a trans woman if you don't disclose you're actually AFAB (& they could still have doubts).

TERFs are very manipulative & use brainwashing tactics. If you're AFAB & anti-TERF, they will say it's because of your "internalized misogyny" & will try to guilt-trip you. Because how dare someone has a different opinion! If you're AFAB & proudly calls yourself 'genderfluid' or 'non-binary', TERFs will get offended.

TERFs claim that asexuality only exists "because of the prevalence of porn" (Aces & sex-repulsed people would still be here even if porn didn't exist! Shocking, I know!).

TERFs claim that men who call themselves 'feminist' are "all predators".

TERFs would rather include transphobic men in their spaces than "those evil libfems" (those women are enemies).

TERFs claim that radical feminism is the "only true feminism", & that all second-wave feminists were "radfems".

TERFs claim that GNC men are "fetishizing" femininity (but according to TERF logic, masculine men are not fetishizing masculinity).

TERFs are extremely bigoted towards sex workers, polyamorous people, people who don't want commitment, people who are sexually experimenting or who are promiscuous (which is also one of the reasons why I left the sex-negative community; their views on sex/lust/love are similar to the Christian conservative perspective).

I can definitely assure you I still very well remember most of their URLs & blog content. There are many TERFs who hide behind aesthetic blogs, & use subtle TERF language & comforting rhetoric — which you might not even notice if you don't know much about their specific type of language & tactics (e.g. complaining about the "neoliberal postmodern identities" & about people "erasing females"). This type of TERF also may follow a bunch of (trans-inclusive) anti-'MOGAI' & anti-kink blogs. If you're trans-inclusive & TERFs follow you, it's likely because your blog content doesn't make them uncomfortable.

Their blatant transphobia is absurd & paranoiac, & they don't hide it. Anyone who disagrees with them gets called a "handmaiden", "lesbophobe", "male", "genderist", "liberal", "libfem", "special snowflake" (I no longer consider myself a radical leftist, but I don't consider myself a centrist either). TERFs call trans women as a group "fetishists", "delusional", "mentally ill", "sociopaths", "narcissists", "pedophiles", "necrophiles", "incels", "genderfucks" + slurs like "tr*nny", "troon", "tr0n", "transes". They say that the trans movement is "coercing children to transition" & "forcing lesbians to have sex with penis". It's pure fear-mongering. Their views on trans men are also contradictory — there are times they claim that trans men are "straight girls who are trans just bc they read fanfiction & watch gay porn", & there are times they claim that trans men are "brainwashed butch lesbians" (Pick a side!).

I live in a very religious Latin American country. The majority of the population here is not educated on gender/sexuality issues. I got the chance of educating myself better only after I've learned English. And then some terfs had the gall to say "academic fields such as Gender & LGBT Studies & philosophy are oppressive & pretentious". In a country like mine with a dark history of military dictatorships, censorship & anti-intellectualism, being leftist means protecting the social sciences in education & freedom of the press.

So yes, I left the terf community bc unlike them, I think for myself & I hate bullying (i was in fact heavily bullied for years in school, & only bullying victims know how it truly feels like). My terf blog is now inactive; I had 1000+ followers. I'm a very quiet person irl & online; I was never vocal about my real opinions bc I don't like getting into heated discussions & I didn't want to be featured on that gross radfem-gossip blog.I was very transphobic back then. & now it's quite possible terfs will say to me "You were never one of us". I followed & liked their blogs, just like they followed mine. I was loyal & obedient. Now not anymore.

#Ask #transphobia

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malmiele · 4 years

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oversharing ft. whale emoji

tagged by @4mulaone, thank youuu

🐳 name: real name is [redacted] on the internet for reasons. i’ve just been going by my online handle for so long it’s weird to use my real name now. so just call me miels lol

🐳 nickname: ok here’s a story. when i was a kid my kindergarten teacher (who was convinced i was british and nothing i did would make her believe otherwise but that’s another story) called me “xingxing” which is chinese for star. i genuinely thought that was my actual name until i was like 5 i think. then i had a childhood identity crisis. looking back it’s a cute nickname tho.

🐳 zodiac sign: rabbit 🐇 and virgo if you want the horoscope

🐳 height: like 164/165 cm idk

🐳 nationality: 🇸🇬

🐳 languages spoken: english, chinese and rabid bullshit

🐳 what time is it: 5.43pm

🐳 celebrity crush: could throw a dart at a pretty face and call it a day but the complicated answer would be i haven’t fully understood what crushes are and i’ve never felt attraction to any celeb...am i just picky or on the aroace spectrum i’m still trying to figure it out ✌🏻

🐳 favourite fictional character: hhhhh this is a hard one. right now it’s probably all the juniors in the untamed because i’m fond of children and have huge mothering tendencies

🐳 favourite musician: lana del rey probably, but coldplay and keane are close seconds

🐳 favourite sports team: the only sport i bother about is motorsport. not really a teams person but...envision i guess. bc behind the visor. and sam + robin.

🐳 favourite season: there’s only one season in singapore and it’s called hot as f-

🐳 favourite flower: hydrangeas probably?

🐳 favourite scent: when i was a wee child my mum bought me this snow white kids' perfume (this was during a time before "body mist" was a commonly used term, but it was essentially body mist.) either way that shit hit different.

🐳 favourite animal: how am i supposed to choose i love them ALL (except mosquitoes or smth. dengue fever bad)

🐳 favourite food: normally hard to answer. but in the spirit of lockdown i will tell you. hokkaido milk toast + horlicks is the bomb

🐳 dream car: bmw isetta 300. no i'm kidding lmao probably the jaguar f-type 400 sport (2017) bc that's my e-racing car 🙈 and i like it very much.

🐳 dream trip: half my friends have been to europe and here i am patiently waiting for my turn but life keeps getting shittier and i never get to go!!!

🐳 instruments: piano and cello but i suck at both

🐳 coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea hands down. i tried starbucks once and it straight up gave me palpitations so never again!

🐳 dog or cat person: tbh this is a tie. i’m notoriously known for being unable to keep anything alive so i’ve sworn off pets. i tried to grow clovers recently but instead the soil grew mould. amazingly i work in the botanical industry. miracles happen.

🐳 following: 131

🐳 followers: 42 and i love you all 💋

🐳 other blogs: ok full disclosure i actually have a blog where i publish chapters of my original fiction. but it’s a private blog and on hiatus but maybe i’ll revive it who knows

🐳 blog established: 15 oct 2016 according to this site

🐳 do you have a tumblr crush: i have blogs which i visit daily like they’re the newspaper, if that’s what you mean

🐳 do you get asks: i got 1 anon telling me about how they and all their cousins would tune into a diff driver's twitch when the races came on. shoutout to that anon i love you

🐳 what is your lucky number: i had to google this. google says 2 and 3. thanks google.

🐳 what are you wearing right now: a tshirt i have had since i was 11 and shorts. (to put things into perspective i am 21 and apparently have not grown out of it yet!)

🐳 drink of choice: green tea with soy milk and pudding in it. the best shit ever

🐳 number of blankets you sleep with: one or none depending on whether it's hot or really fkin hot (singaporean problems!)

🐳 average sleep hours: 5-6h when i'm working. now like 9h bc lockdown babey

🐳 random fact: thinking of the funniest one. i’ve only been to a haunted house once. me and my friends entered just singing in the hall of the mountain king increasingly loudly and increasingly out of tune and it was chaos. i can’t even remember what was in the haunted house

ok gonna tag: @ricciardosea @cool-elli @morgensteorras @ricciardo-and-gang anyone else who wants to do it, just tag me :)

#my life #gang gang

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cchilyoja · 4 years

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by: tagged by the always wonderful @foxcharmed tagging: anyone that follows me, sees this on their dash & wants to do it :)

MY MUSE IS: canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM? YES / NO. Well, he is the main character of the show, but seeing as there’s only me & @legcndreportr that write character from the show, I’d say, the RP fandom for it is tiny, but I think a lot of people that watch dramas like the show & the characters.

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM? YES / NO / IDK. [ I mean, he’s played by Ji Chang Wook, I mean, obviously yes. Have you seen just how many fan JCW blogs there are on this site? Understandable. Honestly, and truly. ]

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM? YES / NO / IDK. [ I’d say he’s very skilled & flawed. There are many things that he can do, many things that he is good at, but the slew of both traumatic and just plain shitty things that had happened to him over the early years of his childhood, combined with HUGE abandonment issues that he has never really dealt with. All of that can make certain mundane things a lot harder than any 007 stuff that he sometimes does. ]

ARE THEY UNDERRATED? YES / NO / IDK. [ I think, even though I love the character, obv been RPing him for years. I hate that people don’t STAN the other characters as much, especially the other main female characters that are just as interesting, complex and worth loving. But alas that is the world we live in. ]

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY? YES / NO,he is the main story, if you know what I mean. But no, seriously, he is the main character.

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ Yeah, but tbh, I find it that in the show, the two main characters are equally sorted in the first place, Jung-hoo is nothing without Young-shin. There would be no development, no revelation about his life, childhood and interesting complex storytelling and showing without her. ]

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD? YES / NO. [ One would assume that I should put YES for this, buuuut, while HEALER is known to the criminal underbelly, police and those that would want or need to hire someone like him, the general public has no idea. Which is exactly what he wants, because attention isn’t really a useful thing in his line of work, or just the way he lives his life. ]

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ Good when it comes to how skilful he is, but bad as a person. His character arc really goes a looong way from where he is in episode 1. Like the first thing we see is him playing a tennis VR game, complaining that he can’t pick the character he is playing against to have less clothes (that being a computer-generated character but still), which isn’t really all that interesting and for sure not someone I’d be all into writing. And also his lack of care when it comes to what he does, like the guy he was protecting also in ep 1. Ends up dead, and he’s annoyed bc the police think he killed him, the fact that he’s dead, he couldn’t care less. ]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? — I’ve been writing him for over two years, and it’s just no fun to just follow the canon. He has developed overtime on his own, and besides that, I just never really like any CANON fully. When it comes to the show, bc there are only 16 eps, and as with most dramas there is only one season. So I’ve taken the liberty to expand on the canon and to create Jung-hoo as I think he’d be, away from the scenes we can see him in.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — For me personally, I really found it interesting that the mother that abandoned him, married someone else and had a whole new family, after his father died. Jung-hoo cares for her, meets with her, gives her money etc. He doesn’t hate or resent her, I think that shows a lot of compassion but also emotional intelligence. He has this me vs the world outlook, way of life, mentally, however you want to call it, but is in desperate need for someone to SEE him. Like acknowledge his existence, to stay, to love him. He is incredibly skilled & capable, everything you’ve seen 007 do, he does it better. Also I’ve made sure to include diverse verses so there is a way to explore pretty much anything under the sun that you could think of.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — I think he can’t really move past the whole I hate everyone & I need someone. So he goes back and forth, it is difficult to create a meaningful connection. I’ve been lucky to do that but that’s also bc I’ve written with some people here for years.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? — I had taken a few years break from RP, which used to be like one of my main interests, writing in general. And then I was getting into just watching Kdramas, watched HEALER, and I was instantly like I HAVE TO WRITE HIM, and never looked back really.

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? — Auditory stimuli, be it music or just sounds. For example, when I write I tend to use programs or websites where you can put different sounds in the background like thunder, rain, wind, chatter etc. Watching yt clips, seeing people on my dash tbh, like people that I follow also inspire me bc they make me go I WANNA WRITE WITH ALL OF THEM.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE? YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ I think I tend to have all of these feelings, sometimes I’m like, yeah, this is Jung-hoo, this is exactly what I wanted, sometimes I’m like who am I writing? But I just focus more on me enjoying writing him, than thinking if people think I write him as they think I should.]

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS? YES / NO / SORT OF? [I have a bunch of headcanons about like the smallest of things, like the fact that I don’t think he likes wearing socks is one of them, but, I don’t write them or post them on here. I’m not sure why, I guess I prefer to sort of just sprinkle them in the threads??? ]

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES? YES / NO [ Kinda. I also write fanfiction & I had started this original one with sort of Jung-hoo in mind but not really him. I realized I really like writing starters, I think that’s probably like an unpopular opinion or way of thinking but I really enjoy starting the thread, and I kinda sometimes think starters are like drabbles, I’m not making sense. ]

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY? YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL? YES / NO / SORT OF? [ Depends on my mental state. Like sometimes 100% and then other times it’s like what am I even doing?? ]

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING? YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. [ I enjoy how I write, if that makes sense. I’d like to think that I can switch it up now and again, keep it fresh, I def know that I’ve evolved over the course of the years I’ve been RPing ]

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON? YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL? — Sure. I’m fine with that. I just think that the INTERNET does not know how to compute that, or people on the internet. It’s either, you can do no wrong or you should die a horrible death. It’s like either STAN or HATE. And it’s also somehow part of the rp community here on Tumblr. Where there’s just either fake praise or just unnecessary hate. And then there is a bit in the middle where like you can talk and exchange ideas and thoughts. But it is not the main focus by any means. If anyone wants to tell me to change something, or to do something diff, sure, let me hear you out, you might inspire me to improve. But that rarely happens.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER? — Of course, I think a lot of people are like this. Talking about my character gives me muse for the character. Like we could be talking how he’d eat a salad and I’d be like, okay now I have to write a novella about this other thing I’m inspired about.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? — That’s weird to me just bc I feel like when I read someones headcanon, this is how they, and them uniquely see the character, so I can’t really disagree with that, I can have an opinion for sure. But that’s like someone being I like this band, and you say, no you don’t, it just doesn’t make sense to me.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT? — Same with the previous one. Like I often find blogs where they are writing a character that I either love from a show, move, book whatever, or it’s a canon type character that I find really interesting, like the idea behind it, but then I read their writing and then I go, aaaah okay nooo, no NO. And it’s never personal, it’s like, we ain’t gonna mesh, which is fine. And if someone is like that with my writing, fully understandable, just don’t be a dick about it, and we’ll be cool.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? — Couldn’t really give less of a shit really. RP to me is this little bubble where I am this fictional person that can do and try everything. It is in no way connected to any other aspect of actual reality or my life. The only connection is if I have to take a hiatus or smth, but like even if I write OOC things, it’s about IC stuff. I have other social medial for real life, this is just my RP bubble. So if someone is wasting their time hating a fictional character, they have bigger fish to fry.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? — Sure, English isn't my first language so mistakes happen. If I see someone make a mistake and the write with me, I just change it when I reply to them, but I don’t point it out bc you never know, someone people could be okay cool thanks, and someone else could really feel down on themselves, which would be bad, and I wouldn’t want that to happen.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? — I’d like to think so, especially that I’m easy to approach and talk to. I don’t take many things seriously, not just on here but like in life. So I’m always open to any idea anyone might have. I’ve been lucky with the people that I’ve been following & those that have followed me, a huge percentage is just really dope people, nice to read their writing, nice to talk to, great to write with. And I hope that it stays that way, so we can also have this as some kind of mental break from life :)

#MUSING #ABOUT #outofhacks #this was long but fun to write out :)

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lowkeysebastianstan · 5 years

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hey there. I totally get your frustration with endgame and the ending. I wasn't happy and I'm not happy how half the fandom tells me/us how we have to look at it. how we have to accept it. how the actors are happy with it and so should we. how the writers/producers - okay, I'm gonna leave them out of this seeing neither of them have any idea what they have done in the first place. after all they disagree on everything in every interview since the release. and isn't that funny? (1/?)

how even they are not on one side with the movie? what I despise most right now when it comes to this movie and this fandom is how we are treated. how we should tag our “hate” - which I think is funny since I didn’t hate the movie entirely. I hated pieces of it, like I did with past movies. I never liked doctor strange and even back then people were allowed to mention how casting cumberbatch for the part wasn’t the smartest idea they had. (2/?)

people want us to be happy with an ending that doesn’t make sense to us and they appreciate and are “allowed” to shove down our throats with their happy posts about a perfect ending. how is taking tony’s life after he finally married pepper and got a daughter is perfect? how is sending steve back to peggy after they did everything in their power to convince us he moved on from his past life…how is that perfect? (3/?)

you can probably tell I’m bitter. I really am. there’s not a day that goes by I’m not frustrated with what we got after ten years and 22 movies. however, I thought to myself what would it give me to cling on to this on my blog. would it change anything? I do know I’m not alone. I see so many people agreeing with this anger and it gives me some sort of peace. at the end of the day, though, it’s also important to see what it gives to you. (4/?)

talking to one of my closest friends about it and voicing my frustration with the end helps me more than keep posting about it. because in the end it won’t change a thing. the longer I surround myself with the frustration and anger and everything that comes with this not being what I had hoped for the more it pushes me from the fandom. of course everyone do as they please and I get people who want to get it out of their system. (5/?)

but maybe sitting down and look at what the constant repeating will give you in the end, realizing where it might end, could help finding some kind of peace for you. I’d hope for you to enjoy the parts of the fandom that still apply to you. I really like your blog and you as a person and I’d hate to see one of my fave people on this site to leave (I lost count, but this is the last)

whew! hi right back, that was quite something.

i feel ive answered this ask before, was that also you?

i mean, yeah. i know im not alone, i do. i see some of it on my dash, but not a lot, since ive had to block every marvel related tag just to keep from indulging in some light murder (just gentle ones, not to worry), and i really cannot fathom why ppl on the other side of the isle can’t do the same? or if you’re getting tired of the negativity? blacklist. or unfollow, block even.

as ive said a few times lately, ive been here 6 years. and this is the first time ive aired my frustration in any noticeable way. sure there’s been a few occasions where i got the salt shaker out, but that was in relation to much more limited subjects, and it was a post or two at the most.

ive been frustrated with previous movies too, but ive kept my trap shut, ive just gone on, kept my queue stocked, giffed the rare set and hid behind pretty solid content, no drama, not personality, no engagement.

and it’s not too bad, to just be anonymous, to look at the pretty, spread the pretty, do the occasional tag rant, and let that be it.

but.

when i came back after a long hiatus last autumn i started writing again. i posted a psa where i apologised for the fact that i would reblog my writing on this blog, i informed what tags i was gonna use, and for the first time i actually checked my follower count before and after. i lost 20 followers the first day. for posting writing. my writing. that was tagged to a ridiculous degree. and i saw a fair few more disappear before the exodus, and idk. i made me realise a thing or two.

one, people like my blog and the content i post

two, they’re only here for that content

three, to have a strictly themed blog will limit you horribly

four, my followers in general don’t give a shit about me, only about the content i post, which fair enough

five, i care about that, even if i don’t care about the follower count as such, i do care that the ones i have actually like me

six, which is completely absurd bc none of them knows me at all, i never show myself

but that was then. this is now. and the last weeks has made me realise the most important thing of all, i dont care any more. why the fuck should i? when my showing any kind of negativity about something that i did care a whole lot about but i no longer have?

endgame might have killed all my enthusiasm for the mcu, and it fucking hurts. it’s been a staple in my life for years, ive invested my time, my creativity, my love and my goddamn money, and ive got jack shit to show for it. i have a blog that i used to love, but is becoming alien to me, and that hurts too. ive invested a lot in this blog too, after i deleted a few of my other blogs a couple of years back, this is by far my biggest one. and im torn tbh.

do i want to leave it? no, i don’t. can i go back? honestly? i doubt it. if my love for the mcu is gone, well so is bucky. and lets be real, a sebastian stan blog with no bucky? i cannot really see it, can you?

but hey. ill make you a deal, all of you. ill ease up on the memes, i won’t stop bc i have a few scheduled, you guys blacklist or unfollow if you dont want to see them, and ill see about sprinkling in some sebastian content if i can find any i deem worth it.

also i don’t have any close irl friends to air my frustrations with, everyone here loved this crap, and that’s not really the discourse im looking for. but im happy for you, it sounds nice :)

hope you’re having a great day!

eta: i won’t leave btw. not unless the porn hub thing comes into fruition. just so you know, and if anyone cares. just sayin.

eta2: also? the fact that i, or we, are complaining and being pissed at the movie, but the opposition are attacking us for doing that? instead of, again, fucking blacklist and leave us the fuck alone? yeah, doesn’t help with the bitter. if y’all are so threatened by our arguments, maybe you should reevaluate your own, seems you’re trying a bit too hard there. i don’t want to take enjoyment from anyone, i envy you too much for that, but ffs, just leave me the fuck alone to deal with it. (that’s not @ you, that’s to them)

eta3: and thank you for saying im someone you like. but see? ive been trolling you all, im terrible. and i expect you don’t like me as much now anyways. but thank you, it was nice to hear nevertheless.

#anon #ask #answered #anti endgame #see? i still tag it ffs #long post #so so long #hey i get it #the positivity is killing me #i get where you're coming from #but it's getting a bit tiresome to have people just come in and tell me to get over it #no matter how well you mean it #im sorry that i cant just snap and make half my feelings go away #y'know bc that would take away any good ones too #good greif infinity war kinda sucks too doesn't it #wow

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jondeacon · 5 years

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idk.

i didn't really want to make a post about me going on a hiatus, bc i wasn't even sure what was going to happen or what am i going to do, bc idk i still don't know...this blog meant a lot to me, still does i guess, and i don't know, it pains me to stay away from it bc its my main fun and i can't imagine my life without tumblr, bc lets face it, my life is boring and i don't have anything to do with it so i waste it away on here, and it was supposed to be fun, and idk, and i love tumblr even tho it's a fucking hellsite, its just yet again i realised that i am a fucking idiot who got her fucking hopes up....

I don't know what to say, im pretty useless, i havent been posting any content for a while by now, and its mainly bc i dont wanna start anything until my exams are finally over, but then i think to myself that does it even matter anymore? Idk what does. I tried my best to make this blog a safe space to people, despite im a negative person, but all the love i can't give to myself, i want to give to others, because if i can make someone's day just a slightly better, it makes me feel a little better as well

I feel stupid and childish idk, because sometimes i know that my anxiety is the one telling me that people don't care and i'm not important at all, but i feel like that this might be true, and i feel stupid to think that i would be important to someone at all when its not the case...i can’t love right, i can’t do anything right and everyone does it better than me.

I feel stupid that i let it all be so important to me that it makes me crying and shaking, that even though i should have learned ages ago to not be a stupid piece of shit, but i can't change it i guess

On the other hand it was quite difficult to spend time on here, because im a weak piece of shit, and it just made me feel anxious whatever negative or bad shit is going to pop up on my dash or whatever..it also made me feel terrible that i started to feel bad over the one thing that made me truly happy, bc of other people...i just don't know why im like this and it just makes me cry

the overall conclusion of this is just the fact that im the biggest idiot ever to exist, who cant do anything right and just lets everything get in her way

I feel hurt in a way and its the biggest bullshit ever. Its childish and pathetic that this fucking site means so much to me, but it is what it is i guess

I really don't know what to do, because i wanna be back on this blog but then at the same time i dont think i have a purpose anymore, and i don't even have the courage to make things better for myself

I don't wanna delete, or leave, but i have no clue what to do, so me staying on my sideblog seemed the best option out of all, but i honestly don't know what to do, there’s no good option, bc if i either come back, im a dramatic bitch or whatever...i’m at a point where i’m really lost and i have no idea about anything anymore.

And i just wanna say to every single one of you, and apologise to you, if i ever hurt you or made you feel bad.

I love you all. Take care.

#long post #its just me being stupid so whatever #as for now.i really dont.know #personal shit #i doubt anyone cares about all this bullshit but here i go i guess #in the end im still just a stupid bitch from the internet #and thats all what is #what ever will be

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indulgentarcher · 5 years

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Mild PSA: Where are you?

((MOSTLY AT WORK *Badumtsh*

But on a more serious note.

I love Dilwyn, hes my oldest, safest muse. He’s loved, loving and I adore him.

So whys he so dead?

1) Tumblr nerf is an obvious push down an already unraveling sweater

2) Sweater in this sense being my motivation to keep playing him. See. Dilwyn’s OP. He was designed by Pacifist-Seeking 15 year old whos heart was in turmoil. I made myself a dad figure to deal with a lot of shit going on in my life. The origin of Dilwyn quite frankly was attention seeking. That’s not as bad as A thing as you might think. But now, He’s evolved into his own little entity and mission statement of Be Good. He took his own narrative back and now hes just..... content. There is no where further I wish to push this plot. My ultimate goal for him has ALWAYS been a happy ending and at the moment? Full quads? Full family? Full heart and soul? Millions of friends and friend families???? I don’t wanna crush that for the sake of keeping an 8 year old muse active on tumblr- SPEAKING of tumblr-

3) tumblr culture. Bless tumblr. Tumblr really hurt the way I developed as a person. The reason I backed away suddenly. But it also prevented me from being isolated, while it taught me to isolate myself further. All the negativity, the hyper vigilence, the guilt trippingl and aggressiveness. It made even me forget what actually works when it comes to changing people. You have to.

You HAVE to be able to sit down and talk to another person and not dismiss everything they’ve ever said because you don’t like it. Now before y’all instantly jump thats not even about politics which is ANOTHER reason im ditching this site so much from Dilwyn,,,, I cant go a day without something political. Usually ooc shared from a homestuck. Y’all im too tired. This website severely affected my critical thinking skills to a point where I was AFRAID to have opinions of my own and also was afraid everyone could hear my thoughts so I focused on being so passive..... its just a mess how bd purity culture and aggressiveness here broke my little self’s soul. I am much better now, but only after I stopped hinging my life around tumblr.

4) OKAY WELL NOW WHAT??? Ima tell u whats. Dilwyns still here. He exsists, but on a muddy vauge Hiatus TUMBLR ONLY wise. If y’all wanna acess him for conversation p l e ase hmu on discord. If you dont have my discord hmu at @begrudginglybehooved ooc in them sweet IMS. Ob is my Equius, whos p much become my primary muse but even thats..... questionable. Part of me wishes i could have my characters, not attached to the hs communtiy but thats stupid. Bc not all of it’s been dark- But a LOT of it is has been, for me esp.

Like.

I hope u guys arent too hurt by this, And i hope u guys understand.

7/8 years finally broke a Feather. I still love y ‘all, its been great. But that’s why i’ve not been on Dilwyn. 💙💜💙)

#ooc #psa #HOO BOY LOTS OF WORSS #mental health #A LOT OF SHIT TO UNPACK KIDS

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lynxandbadger · 6 years

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hey yall you may or may not have noticed that i havent been on a lot lately and now the mukbang video and some other things in my life have made me decide to go on an indefinite hiatus from tumblr. i might occasionally post an edit or something every now and again, but i wont actually be on reblogging things or anything so see you all again who knows when. i might come back someday or maybe not idk but thanks for being there for me and showing me the phandom side of tumblr, i’ve met some really great people here and if you’re wondering if i mean you, i absolutely do, youre all incredible <3

this will probably get long and for that i apologize, but im a sentimental person and i cant leave without a proper goodbye. im putting it under a readmore so you dont have to suffer through it if you dont want to lol

before i get heavy with the unnecessary backstory, let me just thank you all so much for following me. ive only had this blog for less than a year but you guys have already shown me so much love and that means so much to me. i met a lot of good people here in the phandom and i feel sorry that i never talked to more of you. words dont even begin to cover how thankful i am to have gotten to interact with all of you <3

okay next of all this is not because of something bad, its actually bc i feel like ive outgrown tumblr? lol but like i said this is gonna be long and youre the one who clicked on the readmore so youre committed sorry alsfdkjalgh anyway yo long backstory warning here we go okay so like if you saw that super long reflection post i made like two months or whenever, you will know that i used to have a tumblr four years ago and tldr i left it and put it on a pedestal for all these years and it wasnt until two months ago when i went back through the entire thing that i realized i had just romanticized it blah blah weve been over this. my point is, tumblr for me has always been an escape from real life and a place where i could talk to people because in real life there was no one for me to interact with at all. but now,,,,,,, i dont really need that. im in college. i see and talk to people usually almost every day. im no longer an isolated little girl stuck in her room all day.

now that im in college, i realized i am in control of my own life. things have been happening and ive been doing things ive never even imagined possible. i am a human with one life and its up to me to make it the best life i can. its my birthday today and i am starting on a new decade of my life whether i want to or not. i recently went through a long thought process vaguely how i think the one dan went through when he decided he hated law school and dropped out. prepare yourself for another backstory dump lol. so all my life ive been like told that im so smart and everyone has always expected me to be smart and so i decided to be a chemistry major because ive always like chemistry i guess and wow everyone expects me to do something super “”smart”” like that and theres been so much pressure by people and by myself to live up to this expectation of being an exceptional student and incredibly smart and now im out here being in college and struggling with the reality that im,,,,, not that smart,,,,, and that i dont even enjoy chemistry like i thought i did,,,,,, ive been battling with my own expectations of myself to be this person that ive always expected myself to be my entire life but ive realized now that thats just not realistic. and ive decided that those old expectations just dont matter. im not who i thought i was and thats okay. im trying to learn to accept the past but not let it rule me anymore and just let go. im changing my major and not letting myself be upset that im not living up to who i once thought i would be. id rather be happy and enjoy what i choose for myself than keep up the appearance of who ive always been told to be.

i dont know who i am anymore. i dont know what the future holds. but i do know that im going to stop letting my past define me and just live my life how i want it to be and not how i thought it should be.

and as a result of this, i no longer feel like i need tumblr as a crutch. i used to sit on this website for hours and not be able to stop. now i come on tumblr and get bored within minutes. i thought i would never be able to get off of this site. i thought i would always need it. but i dont think i do anymore.

so goodbye tumblr. weve had some good times, and weve had some bad. this site has seen me through five tumultuous years of my life. ive met some incredible people because of my time here and im honestly glad ive had this website to hold me for all these years. so long and goodnight, tumblr.

embrace the void and have the courage to exist

love,

eloise xoxo

#i know this is kind of out of the blue but what isnt in life tbh #anyway im excited for how uncertain things are #like now that ive decided to abandon my old life 'plan'#anything goes #there are no rules anymore #it will take a long time to train my brain to not automatically think the old thoughts #of living up to high expectations #but ill get there #anyway if any of you want to keep in touch #my kik is catfacepen #and my instagram is @frozenalabaster #so gather round piggies and kiss this goodbye #id encourage your smiles and expect you wont cry #i hope you all have fantastic lives #goodbye #eloise is being loud

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pingnova · 6 years

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partial hiatus

im going to be on a social media partial hiatus for a bit so i can reorient myself school and mental health-wise. you might see me (hopefully) only every once in awhile bc i know i cant completely stay away but i deleted the apps off my phone and set my laptop to block the sites certain times of the day.

more feelings about it under the cut if you care for that

i feel too dependent on social media, when im not doing anything i dont know what to do other than go on a social media site, even if i actively dont want to participate in social media at the moment, i just feel like i have nothing else. i think im pretty good at having some self esteem aside from likes and reblogs and shares but not enough for me, i hate that a lack of social media validation makes me feel bad and it’s something i crave too much. and it ruins my mental health and attention span otherwise - everything feels so busy when theres notifications everywhere and i can always refresh and get more things i havent seen before... it makes me feel like i have to get thru it all, again even if i dont want to. the drama and constant news cycle stresses me out too. it takes up too much of my time and mental capacity to try to cope with the information overload and i want to reset as much as i can and rearrange my priorities to make sure im actually doing things that are good for me. social media can be totally fine but my interaction with it right now is not what i want.

of course i love yall, mutuals and followers, its just that the sites we interact on feel a bit soul-sucking right now. i’ll be back because i dont want to miss everyone forever but right now i need some time for myself.

i will probably be on discord a little more often so ask for my discord info if u still want to chat, or chat with me for the first time maybe! or just send me memes, thats good too.

so bye for now!

#personal

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pidgezero-one · 6 years

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does using a blogging site for #pastebinmonday defeat the purpose? who cares

speedrun PBs:

overall this has been a great year for me. i didn't meet all the goals i set at the start of the year, but some of them i became less invested in while developing others.

i achieved top 300 in super mario kart, which is a big deal for me considering the level of competition in that game developed over 19 years. pretty proud of that, and i know i have so much more potential to climb.

i'm pretty happy i got a bunch of people to run crystal caves for a while. i talk a lot of shit about my runs but my WR is actually not that bad. i think with the route i'm using i can save half a minute at most. i'll get it soon.

i got a time i'm somewhat happy with in smrpg any% and took a hiatus from that category. i started running smrpg most of the stuff and it quickly became bar none my favourite thing to speedrun. i almost have my time under 4 and a half hours, currently sitting at 4:31:56. that's wild considering how good i thought my 4:47 was, lol. i'm having so much fun improving my times and finding time saves and helping flesh out the route and all that. i also had fun routing Beat Culex and am going to return to working on that category soon. think it'll always be my favourite game.

dkc2 is hard but i'm enjoying learning it.

i'm very happy with my mario land 2 time. submitting to agdq for the first time and not seeing a wall of red was neat even if it is a lottery. i was only a backup runner but i know that my time being decent allowed for that. i'll grind this game again soon.

i dunno if im gonna return to EB pajama. i really liked the all sanctuaries routing, and it's obsolete now. we'll see.

current plans:

i haven't streamed much this week because i'm having capture card issues =( so instead i've been doing the following:

-uninstalling drivers from device manager and reinstalling over and over

-trying old drivers

-attempting to test in amarec, which crashes, bc the native software also crashes

-testing from usb ubuntu, which wouldn't load and started hanging when i tried to manually run casper

-testing from usb linux mint which worked, but i don't wanna change OSes

-forcefully installing an obsolete windows 7 update to bypass a sha256 error

-bricking my OS with the above step, unable to boot to command line or use system restore from repair disc

-taking the drive out of my laptop and using an old win7 install on a 3rd hard drive to copy my files on the dead drive to an empty partition on the laptop drive

-the copy operation froze up so i made a backup instead

-was able to unbrick my OS after all and deleted the backup

-deleting the empty partition and attempted to fresh install windows 7 on it

-turns out my optical drive isnt reading discs at all which explains why i couldnt run startup repair

-made a boot usb of windows 7

-saved an image of my OS to the empty partition

-reinstalled windows 7 on my drive

-swapped the pcie slots of my cap card and usb card

-tried very old drivers to flash the card which also hung when i let it run overnight

-card somehow flashed itself successfully after i uninstalled the drivers

-upgrading to windows 10 which i left running while i go to work

so yeah... this is an adventure lol. as soon as i can restore my OS i'll get back to streaming, speedrun calendar coding, and drawing your emotes

luckily there's plenty of stuff i can stream that doesn't need a capture card! until i can get game capture working again, i will likely be streaming the following:

-return to the Crystal Caves 1 any% grind! my standing WR has about 30 seconds of mistakes in it. would like to get that 22.

-maybe i'll pick up CC1 any% cheat codes... /maybe/

-got lots of smrpg science to do. i'm planning on documenting every timed hit in the game. i might stream this casually

-speaking of smrpg science, i'm planning on rerouting the Beat Culex category to skip pandorite, i might stream that too since i can do it mostly with web tools

offline i'll practice dkc2 and mario kart.

other speedrun stuff:

rpg limit break 2017 was a huge turning point in my "career". i'm very grateful i had that opportunity and did a good enough job with it. to this day i still have ppl contacting me on twitter to say how much they enjoyed my run. that's cool. i will be submitting smrpg most of the stuff to 2018.

doing a billion marathons was great. i love to entertain, i love to perform, despite being mildly antisocial irl lol. got to meet a lot of amazing people that way and have no regrets.

thank you everyone for the support this year, it makes it a lot more fun. it's still wild to me that ppl actively wanna watch me play video games

i don't know what marathons i'll be going to next year.

smash stuff:

i miss you guys so much you have no idea

good personal stuff:

holy crap guys i got really thin, im not sure if 160lbs is a good goal anymore. if i see my ribcage protrude too much more i'll stop lol

i'm still reeling from friday. if you don't know what happened friday, read this thread: https://twitter.com/pidgezero_one/status/941905358259408897 i love my friends so much and i'm very very lucky to have you guys in my life... i dont even have the words for what i was feeling during and after that

in case it wasn't obvious enough from that thread and also this https://twitter.com/pidgezero_one/status/942742039158018048, grats to everyone who suspected that i'm in love with mishrak! unfortunately i dont have a prize 4 u. but this is definitely why i've been in higher spirits lately, lol

is it too soon to fall for somebody again after my last relationship only ended 3 months ago? idk. you can't really control at what time someone amazing shows up in your life and steals your heart. but that's why the option of taking things slow is there. anyway he's great and i'm really really happy. this is also why idk what marathons i'll be going to in 2018 yet :)

selling all that stuff helped me a ton financially. debt escape will be soon hopefully.

im gonna start resuming language lessons soon. time to stop being lazy.

i put a bag of frozen shrimp and a canister of lawrys salt in my lunchbox today rofl

bad personal stuff:

i'm still hurting over losing my best friend. it's been almost 5 months now. i miss him so much every day. i never got any closure or real understanding, so i'm doing everything i have to do to not let it consume me anymore. this means i've left some of your discords and i'm sorry about that. i just wanted my life back and to not be overwhelmed with anxiety all the time. but i'm trying harder to just focus on the friends i have who never left my side and make me feel cared about and made me keep my head above water when i wanted to sink. thank you and i'm sorry i was absent and unreliable for a long time. i feel like i took the people who care about me for granted and i'm just trying to do better.

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justpeachyicedtea · 7 years

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遠回りでも君が選んだ道は前を向いているから

Anonymous said: Hello^^ I was just wondering if you’ll continue “Pinup Boy” from Michinoku Atami. No rushing or anything. I just really like it and I wanted to confirm that it didn’t get dropped. I love your work~ 😊😊

Hello! Pinup Boy was only 2 chapters so it’s been completed! I feel like I get this ask a lot lmao. But no worries, that couple shows up in other chapters in the Midnight Love Alliance universe!

(taken from a chapter I’m currently working on)

Anonymous said: I know that some people’s pet peeve is scanlating using ebooks found wherever, but please keep in mind some of us solo scanlators buy the books and use found ebook raws simply to save time.

I… wasn’t talking about you then?😭😭 That reblog was about scanlators who don’t buy what they work on but still tell others to buy them. You said you buy them, so that’s awesome! Keep doing you, let us support the mangakas any way we can 💕

Anonymous said: I understand that you won’t translate the manga of your future list of projects. Did you find any groups that took them?

No one has contacted me to use my raws, but I’m sure there are groups that will pick them up!

Anonymous said: Hi! This is completely unrelated to translations and you don’t need to answer but did you know there’s this makeup brand called TooFaced and they came out with this peach line and their new palette is called just peachy? I thought i’d mention it because of your cute name!!

GIRL. (or boy or however you self-identify) DON’T START THIS HERE YOU DON’T WANT TO START MY MAKEUP RANTS HERE. OF COURSE I KNOW ABOUT IT!!!!!! The moment they announced it I was ON IT. I’m sad because I bought their previous Sweet Peach palette for Nitsu but I should’ve waited for this JustPeachy one 😩 I haven’t bought it and idk if I will bc I don’t wear eyeshadow, and I’m more skincare > makeup so I’m saving up for some new essences and creams instead 😭 Thank you for this message though I got so excited!!!!

reikicchi said: Nothing related to scanlation, I just wanted to say that I like your kakao icon XDD ♥

Thank you!!! Though I feel bad, I only chose apeach because he fits my justpeachy vibe, my favorite character is actually muzi!!!

HE’S A PICKLED RADISH IN A BUNNY COSTUME. Try and tell me that’s not cute I dare you. I’m going back to Korea next year so u kno I’ll be stopping by the kakao friends store and stocking up on some muzi merch 😭😭

Anonymous said: Hi Tea-San, 1. Did Crackster get finished translating I didn’t know if it was dropped or still ongoing either way I understand I just recently discovered this title? So good! 2. Isn’t really a question, but how did you come up with the adorable name? Love your translation keep up the good work! じゃあね

1) The translations for Crack Star has been completed, the releases are up to the anon and they will be private releases on her site! I DEFF get a lot of asks about this lmao. Oh man did you guys read the spinoff series with the idol brother?? I’m so psyched for the next chapter 👀 2) Story time! My online username has been icedtea since the beginning of time like since the og club penguin days lmao. It’s from Sugar Honey Iced Tea… My best friend was sugar honey and I was iced tea. If you know what it means I’m sorry ok if it makes you feel better it was my friend’s idea and not mine. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it. And for the justpeachy part, I think this was when I was doing my internship and also worked part time? Yall og followers know when I’m talking about. It was like 10pm on a tuesday after my part time job and I’m giving my best friend a ride back and- here, let me just copy paste my response from another ask: My friends came to visit at my part time job (I worked at a Korean/Japanese restaurant and could sneak them some free food) and one of them lives close to me so I’m giving her a ride back, she says she’s craving a snapple iced tea so we stop by a store and this dumbass buys the diet lemon iced tea which who tf gets, come on step your game up. Well, on our drive back, she takes a sip and says, “this is disgusting, do you want it? I should’ve gotten the peach”. And bam. What a great and touching story, right? Aren’t you glad I told you? Though honestly… diet lemon iced tea? get out of my house… My go to iced tea flavor will always and forever be peach. Though guess who’s allergic to peaches 😂😂😂 OH! SPEAKING OF!!! LOOK AT WHAT I SAW THE OTHER DAY

Anonymous said: May I ask why you are closing down? Thanks for all the hard work you have done! Anonymous said: Hey I was just wondering why you were closing down by the end of the year?? Anonymous said: “Code: will be the last justpeachy scanlation, it’ll be released as a volume once I’m done with all my other projects” What do you mean??? You’re closing down??? NOOOOOO T_T I LOVE YOU I DON’T WANT YOU TO GOOOOO Anonymous said: Hi !! Thanks so much as usual for translating Batsu Game <3 . As i saw from your ‘About’ , you will be closing down by end of the year. Can i know the reasons for it and will u drop those project that were on hiatus ?? Appreciate if you can reply me thankss <3

Yes, I’ll be finishing up the projects I currently have listed (Batsu Game, Koiyume Lover, Ai ni Dekinai Koi wa Iya, Code) before I close down so no worries. If Family Affair comes back, I’m not sure if I’ll be down to work on it, I’ll have to see what my rl situation is like. The main reason I’m closing down is that I’m over this whole thing 😅 I barely read yaoi anymore, I’ve watched the groups I was in and grew up with disappear, there’s a lot more readers now which is good! But that brings more of the toxic stuff and even though I don’t read the comments on reader sites anymore, it’s a little depressing seeing that side of things 😂 This ‘scanlation group’ was just me doing my thing, but because I’m lazy and have no skill, I asked friends/strangers for help. So it’s not like I have group members to worry about. And they’re in other groups or have their own groups anyway. I guess scanlating just isn’t fun for me anymore so

🍑 Peachy Updates 🍑

Koiyume Lover ch 5 is completed, just waiting to be released (I’m wondering if I should do what I originally planned and wait to release the rest of the chapters all at once? Or release one by one…)

Rift extras currently being typesetted

Finished translating chapter 2 and 3 of No Color Baby for Sentimientoyaoi (shit’s wild 👀)

The new Michinoku Atami has been cleaned, waiting for me to finish translating, then will be sent off for some font magic

Lmao I haven’t touched Ai ni Dekinai Koi wa Iya and I prob won’t for a while

Code: has been cleaned, I’ll eventually start translating it

Is this it? I feel like I’ve been a lot more productive…

Oh, it’s bc I’m helping kr proof this one series and proofing takes a lot more work than translating…

And also bc I did half of what I listed today lmaooo

I have a friend coming to visit this weekend so no work will be done bc we’re about to hit up all you can eat sushi and study for exams

Homecoming is next weekend so no work will be done bc I’ll be out of commission. Hopefully not puking.

The weekend after that I’m spending in the city for a friend’s birthday so I definitely will be out of commission and will definitely be puking.

Some angst is coming your way

♬ Floria - Tomohisa Sako (Natsume Yuujinchou Roku OP) ♬

#the title is part of the lyrics of the song #as always #if you hand figured it out #needed a big pick me up bc i think i failed my last wednesday...#asks

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