#and not that anyone says this to begin with but people can go ohhhh nooo youre not hard to love! but theyd be lying theyd be fucking lying

[puppetlooselystrung]

what if we all exploded and fucking died

#sorry i am having yet another episode of. oh right..i am hard to love. i will forever be hard to love. there is nothing that i can do #that wont make me hard to love #and not that anyone says this to begin with but people can go ohhhh nooo youre not hard to love! but theyd be lying theyd be fucking lying #you dont have to fucking lie to me i know i am i know i know i know i know #there is not a single fucking person in the world out there who would take a fucking look at me and go i think youre worth it for years #no one has to fucking lie to me i know im hard to fucking love its not like my entire love life has made that fucking clear to me #this is why i stopped putting myself out there cause its nothing but pain and heartbreak and another reminder how im an idiot for trying #the worst thing of all is i dont know how to stop being hard to love indont know how to stop it #if i knew how to stop being so fucking hard to love cause i cant fucking fit what people want me to be or how im in their fucking heads #or im too fucking neurotic to be fucking loved #i wouldve started that shit in a fucking heartbeat #but theres no fucking way to change this. oh youll make other people happy oh you cant give up finding the one #fuck off. there is no one. im not meant to make anyone happy in the way i want to #forever liked never loved. you know the fucking deal #whatever im gonna drown myself in alcohol later :D #delete later

[felassan]

Thoughts on Dark Fortress #2

(This post is under a cut due to spoilers.)

So late with this one! some stuff irl was keeping me really busy and hyper-distracting me lately, but it’s finally over now so I’m back on my bioware bullshit. :D

Overall there were a lot of beautiful or awe-inspiring scenes in this issue, and a lot of great, meaningful / poignant character interactions and moments between characters. It’s pretty impressive actually how much was able to be packed in. I posted some of my favorite panels here. also omg! the action sequences! the big reveal! the ending!! woww

cool scene-setting, panned out shot of Neromenian and behind it, the Dark Fortress, to immediately pull you back into the world and ‘where we left off’. the combination of ruined dead trees, red lights, lightning and fire/smoke is very atmospheric and hints at what’s ahead

“From this... city, if we can call it that” is a sick burn and reminds you that the Qunari are technologically more advanced than most of the rest of Thedas, from their cannons to their aqueducts

more individually distinct Qunari soldiers, sth I again appreciate

! last issue there were big ‘You haven’t seen the last of Tractus!’ vibes, naturally, but I didn’t expect him to escape by stabbing and killing the Qunari using a chair-leg..!!

the last panel on the first page of Karasten is really good. the way it’s colored, the way it’s lit, the light and shadow, the fiery backdrop, cinders floating, the details of his expression.. 👌 it also makes me think to the possible future, to DA4 when mainland Thedas may be continuing to face the entirety of the Antaam

in Vaea’s acrobatics scene on the bridge, I know rationally that she’ll be fine but couldn’t help but worry for her. again I like how they don’t shy away from showcasing Vaea’s specific abilities. also the attention to detail - you’d think some rocks are just some rocks, but it highlights the risk she’s undertaking that if she falls it’s into rough seas which could dash her against the jagged rocks :’S. Vaea, gooooo!

Fenris’ “Enterprising girl” line has big “Clever girl” meme energy :D

my heart can’t take Fran and Autumn leaning over the edge after Vaea in worry ;; or Aaron looking back in concern over his shoulder ;; or Fran’s tender reassurance ;; or Autumn’s Worried expression ;; the care and bonds which have grown between this group of characters ;;

notice Aaron starts drinking when Vaea’s away from them and they’re beginning to grow worried about her safety. the poor man’s nerves and stress levels

Fran touching the vegetation while she’s considering if she could use her magic to open the entrance from the outside is a nice touch

did Marius leap in front of Fenris and Fran there when the entrance opened?? damn, he’s quick. and the three of them look all scary and formidable here ready for combat. notice how the curve of the door and the spikes that go into the ground, and the composition of this panel, make it look like they’re standing in front of an opened dragon’s maw? ‘teeth’, a rumbling ‘roar’.. some nice foreshadowing here.

the reunion panels are so cute. Autumn’s lil tum as she jumps and Fran and Fenris’ lil smiles of relief and at Autumn’s reaction to seeing Vaea, then a rare happy beam from Aaron.. feel.. the love ;__;

red lighting in the tunnel sets a dangerous, dramatic build-up mood

👀 more info on Fenris’ past, on the specifics of the process which gave him his markings. in the panel where he says that it took a long time, his shadow on the wall behind him reminds me of the shadow of his past that has dogged him for so long :(

Fenris and Marius height difference

discussion of the process shows the power difference between blue and red lyrium. blue lyrium took a long time, red lyrium is almost instant

Autumn is such an intrepid little explorer and alert scout, tail and ears up, head forward. good girl!

“I just... worry about you, my girl”  ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚  I’ll be so sad if these are death flags for Aaron and he doesn’t make it out of here. also note Fran in this panel, who recently had to kill her own father and is still dealing with that, watching the strongly paternal moment between Aaron and Vaea :(

love Vaea’s faith in Aaron and her sense of humor. also I don’t know why, maybe it’s because Vaea met Sebastian, but her “Maker, no!”, although in a completely different and light-hearted context, reminds me of Sebastian’s “Maker nooo!” at the end of DA2 hh

the reference again to Hawke, who Fenris saw haunted by what they tried to do - save their mother - and couldn’t :’(. also with the shadow in this panel, here’s another person struggling with the shadow of his past qq. this is later emphasized again in Aaron when he continues to talk about his past and in the panel is a chain and manacle. smart visual metaphors, a must in the comic medium with limited space

mushroom skull 💀🍄

“It isn’t about what I’ve done. It isn’t about my failures. Or my choices. It’s about their impact” - he’s misty-eyed here as he thinks back to Ostagar.. does this line btw seem almost meta to anyone else btw? :D it feels like a meta reference to the experience of DA players and PCs, who are always having to deal with the impacts of their choices

I wanna point out that I was right on reading issue #1, when I said “I’m positive that in panel 2 here, it’s the exact moment when he sees Cailan die” ;;

So Aaron is also a veteran of the Battle of Denerim

reference to the Hero of Ferelden - “Those were someone else’s battles”. I’m being captain obvious here but I can’t help but [heart pitter-patter] at any and all references to the HoF

I like the.. parallel? is that the word? Aaron’s stories were him trying to inspire people to make a change, or him trying to convince himself of that. and now here’s Vaea, inspiring Aaron with her words in these panels. the little guys can make a difference! in the world of Thedas, you don’t need to be a big bombastic hero or a Player Character to have an impact 

lmao Fenris right on cue. the moments of humor/light-heartedness are nice because they break up the tension and are sprinkled throughout without derailing build-up or taking away from dramatic story impact. yknow?

yeah Aaron!! leave it behind. leave it to rot with mr mushroom skull (and hey the mushroom skull was there for a reason). again tho if this is a death flag i 

Fenris straight down to business with the tactics

its cute how close Autumn has been sticking to Fran

Tessa checking in on Fran again, as she did in issue 1

Could Vaea’s “Well, shit” be an homage to Varric? :D they have met

I also wanna point out that I was right on reading issue #1, when I said “My guess is that the thing Tractus shows Marquette and Nenealeus is probably a chained up dragon or similar”

the poor dragon :’( big dragon the Qunari had in Trespasser vibes

the sword has a really cool design, kind of reminds me of something a samurai might be depicted wielding

👀 lore-drop! so ancient elven arcane warriors used lyrium-infused swords. this seems to confirm the sarcophagus is an ancient elven artifact, no? makes sense, wasn’t it said that the sarcophagus’ design was based on the architecture/outfit-design type elements of a specific faction, and that this was done intentionally? it looks kinda ancient elfy in make, right? also about the lyrium-infused swords of the arcane warriors, well well well.. remember that the Evanuris and the ancient elves mined the bodies of Titans for lyrium, for power and to use as a resource. here’s an example of that use

as I read through this portion I became increasingly concerned for my boy Shirallas.. we really are in it now aren’t we 😭

the Qunari are launching STRAIGHT-UP ROCKETS ohhhh

pretty ‘lightshow’ over the wall in the “Let’s hope the fortress is as secure as Danarius boasted” panel hh

protective older brother Fenris, impish younger sister Vaea. love that dynamic, we love to see it. sheepish and exasperated Fenris is so cute

the Bone Pit dragon fight with Hawke and co reference!

I wonder how long the dragon has been captive here, and how Danarius/Tractus was able to capture it

lore-wise what are the implications here? when Fenris’ ritual was being undertaken, the sword and the sarcophagus were bombarded with magic, fire spells. in this one they aim to have the dragon bombard it with fire-breathing. is it just fire that makes it work/powers it, or is there magic in dragonfire, in dragons? it reminds me of “Your heart beats with the old blood, as well. Where do you think it comes from? It sings of a time when dragons ruled the skies. A time before the Veil, before the mysteries were forgotten. Can you hear it?”

purple color for the dragon’s growling sounds/typeset is a great idea

lets.. goooo!!!!

Marquette is such a nerd. later on when he activates the sarcophagus he has mad scientist vibes

the dramatic reunion face-offs begin!! as the prophecy foretold!!!!1

true to form, Marius DOES have nothing to say ahahaha, even at this, his personal climax. maybe Marius dies in the next issue, but Tessa lives and gets to go back to Charter

these Venatori look almost Star Wars

Shirallas my boyy.. nooo... don’t do it 😭

ah ah ah! try casting magic with no ARMS

Francesca a beacon of blue light and goodness

the splash combat page is masterful. everyone playing a part, so much going on, everything happening at once. a thing that sticks out to me about it is Aaron’s outstretched hand and alarm as he watches Fran fall 

Autumn with her lil hackles raised

“The Venatori have returned” dun dun dunn

goodbye Shirallas 😭😭😭

the composition of the second to last page with triangle/diamond-shaped panels and the framing of dragon wings is awesome

the Dread Wolf rises, “the Tevinter Imperium will rise again”.. on-point on-point cohesion

there he is, the red wraith

Super Saiyan Shirallas

what a note to end an issue on

wow wow wow!!

and separate to the above, some speculation based on the cover of Issue 3: the piece of metal looks like a broken collar coming off Shirallas, like the one there was on the cover of Issue 2 coming off the dragon. also he’s all bulky now with draconic talons/claws (reminds me of in-world legends of Reavers who dug too deep of their own power after drinking dragon blood and whose bodies consequently began to manifest subtle reptilian traits actually). I’ll be interested to see what results of this allusion between Shirallas and the dragon!!

#dragon age #BioWare #dark fortress spoilers #dark fortress spoiler #spoilers #spoiler #dragon age: dark fortress spoilers #dragon age: dark fortress spoiler #video games #gore cw #dragon age 4 #the dread wolf rises #da4 #feels #fenris #the Fenaissance #long post #longpost #alcohol cw

[worldwidemochiguy]

Dancing On My Soul (M)

“Come on, baby, you knew what would happen if you danced with someone else. You wanted it, don’t try to deny.”

“I didn’t.”

“Yes you did. You wanted me to fuck you right there in front of everyone, show them who you belong to.”

“A-and who is that again?”

➵ Warnings: Possessive! Taehyung, Voyeurism, Fingering, Penetrative Sex, Humiliation, Degradation, Creampie, Unsafe Sex (ALWAYS wrap it before you tap it, kids) (not that any kids should be reading this lol if you’re below 18 then kindly scroll away)

➵ Word Count: 2.3K

➵ Masterlist

➵ a/n: requested by anon! sorry if this is nastier than u expected lol, i have to say this is 87% inspired by the above pic of taehyung at the vanity fair trendsetters thing bc hot damn

Taehyung’s eyes burn as you twist on the dance floor, the undulating gyrations of your hips easy to see beneath your tight dress. The strobing lights of the club catch on the sequins that decorate you like a second skin, giving you an almost angelic glow. But, as Taehyung knows, you are far from pure…

You are teetering on the edge, one false step from falling and, as always, Taehyung is close behind. Perhaps he’ll be the one to shove you off.

You are breathless, panting to the heavy beat of the music that shakes through the very foundations of the club. The pulsating vibrations force their way into your blood stream, pumped around your body as your heart contracts. When you catch Taehyung’s eye, it skips a beat, before leaping into overdrive.

He is splayed out in the otherwise empty VIP lounge, legs wide apart in masculine arrogance. You are sure that if you were to reach in between them, you would find him hard and waiting for you. You knew he would be watching you, just as you knew this would anger him. The result of his anger, however, remains a mystery to you. You bite your lip in anticipation.

Raising your arms above your head freely, you twist around, hoping to taunt Taehyung with a glimpse of the open back of your dress. But, a man you had been previously unaware of is waiting eagerly behind you.

As soon as the two of you are face to face, he grins, his teeth flashing as they catch the light, and loops his arms around your waist, tugging you closer.

“You’re so fucking hot,” The stranger says, barely audible above the noise of the club, and you can practically feel Taehyung’s glare intensify, burning a hole through the man’s hand, now splayed across the base of your spine.

His hand is uncomfortably clammy, and his alcohol-soaked breath fanning across your cheek is not the most pleasant sensation, but the only thing you can feel now is excitement. You had been hoping to rile Taehyung up, to bring out that deeper level of depravity you know is buried within him, and this… this is certain to do exactly that.

Your grin wavers slightly as the stranger’s hands slide down to grip your hips harshly. You had been intending to tease Taehyung but that doesn’t mean you’re willing to allow a stranger to grope you.

You start to shift away from him, donning a falsely apologetic grimace.

“Sorry, I’m taken.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t dance, sweetheart.” The man smirks, attempting to tug you back into him.

Suddenly, a familiar warmth spreads itself across your back. You are pulled backwards until you hit a firm chest behind you, arms securing themselves tightly around your waist.

“You’d better keep your hands to yourself,” A deep voice growls, the reverberations echoing through his chest and into you, traveling right down to your core. “-or I’ll have each individual finger broken. Then, maybe you’ll learn to not touch what is mine.”

You tilt your head to see Taehyung snarl the last word, eyes blazing as he watches the man stumble away into the throng of drunken dancers, writhing to the beat of the music. You know by the look in his eye that Taehyung has already memorised the face, and you suspect the stranger won’t be leaving the club without injury.

The heavy bass pulsing through the building fades away as Taehyung flicks his eyes down to you.

And you see that he is furious.

A hand closes tightly around your wrist, and suddenly you are being dragged along behind Taehyung as he stalks back to the VIP lounge. The few partygoers that had dared to occupy the lounge in Taehyung’s absence quickly vacate the couches and exclusive bar, leaving it empty once again as Taehyung sits down, yanking you onto his lap.

“I thought you were a good girl.” Taehyung hisses in your ear as you squirm along his length, fully hardened and pressing insistently against your upper thighs. “That’s what you told me, right? When I asked if you deserved to go to the club tonight, you said, oh yes, Taehyung, please, I deserve it, I’m your good girl.”

“I- I am muh- I’m a good girl.” You whine as he grips your hips tightly and slots you directly above his cock, grinding you against it.

All that separates the VIP lounge from the packed club is a simple cordon. If it weren’t for the poor lighting, anyone could glance over and watch as you rut against him like a bitch in heat. They might still be able to see, if they look closely enough.

That thought drags a choked moan from your throat, and you feel Taehyung’s hot breath against the shell of your ear as he chuckles derisively.

“Are you a good girl? Really? Even though you’re moaning and panting on my cock right here in front of everyone?”

“Nooo~” You whine pathetically, even as your grinding speeds up.

“I think,” Taehyung murmurs, and you feel his hand slide down the heated skin of your bare back and underneath the tight fabric, coming around to grip the side of your thigh under the dress, “I think that you’re a slut, and you’re desperate to let all of these people watch as you come undone.”

“No!” You protest tearfully, writhing as Taehyung’s hand comes around to cup your sex, only a thin layer of lace separating his fingers from your dripping core. To the average drunken partier, you might just appear to be perched on his lap, but if they look any closer it would be obvious to see Taehyung’s hand working underneath your dress.

The humiliation and powerlessness combine into a heady shot of arousal and you slump against Taehyung’s chest bonelessly as he pushes your panties aside and plunges a finger into you.

Your moan drowns out Taehyung’s smug laugh as he begins to pump his finger into you without mercy.

“Fuck, you’re dripping.” He mocks you, and you let out an ashamed whimper, “You really like this, don’t you? You like being used in front of everyone, like a good slut.”

You shake your head weakly, even as you obediently spread your legs for him. He adds another finger, and you groan as he begins to scissor the digits, stretching you out roughly.

“I bet you’d let anyone fuck you, huh?” Taehyung growls, and his other hand comes up to squeeze your throat, cutting your airways just enough that dark spots begin to appear around the edge of your vision.

“You’re so desperate for cock, you probably would have bent over in the middle of the club for that bastard and let him pound into your tight little hole. Is that why you’re so wet, huh?”

“No!” You cry as he adds a third finger, pressing insistently on the bundle of nerves inside you.

Tears stream down your face from the overstimulation, ruining the makeup you had spent hours perfecting. “I wouldn’t let anyone elsetouch me! I swear! Just you.”

“Just me?” He repeats sceptically, curling his fingers inside of you making you sob with desperation.  

“I promise, I’m yours, only yours.”

“Okay baby,” Taehyung murmurs as his hand recedes from your throat. You gasp, so focused on the sensation of the air flooding back into your lungs that you don’t register Taehyung pulling out of you slowly. You whine as his fingers, glistening with your arousal, come up past your face.

He seals his lips around them, closing his eyes in bliss as he tastes your essence, before drawing them out of his mouth and into your own. You gag slightly as he shoves them down your throat. His lips curl up in smug satisfaction as you swirl your tongue around his digits, coated with both your arousal and his saliva.

“You’re a good girl?” He asks expectantly, and you nod, moaning wantonly around his fingers. You know anyone is free to glance over to the VIP lounge and catch a glimpse of you, dress askew and lips swollen, but you can’t deny the arousal that shoots through you at the thought.

You whine unhappily as Taehyung takes his fingers away, but you are soon distracted by the feel of his mouth pressing hotly against your neck. You whimper as his teeth sink into a bruise he had marked you with a few days ago, and his tongue laves over the wound soon after, as if in apology.

You barely hear the sound of his zipper over the music in the club. But the catchy EDM song playing out of the loudspeakers flies out of your head the moment Taehyung lifts your hips and sinks you down onto his cock.

“Tae, wha- ohhhh,” You moan as his cock stretches you out, and he releases a strained snicker.

“Be quiet, baby girl,” He admonishes you, bouncing you slightly on his cock, causing you to hiccup on another moan, “They’ll hear you, and then they’ll all know what a slut you are.”

You gaze helplessly out at the crowd of dancers, ignorant as Taehyung yanks you down on his cock again and again. If anyone simply looks over at the two of you, they’ll know.

Your head lolls back against his shoulder, listening to his rough grunts as he pounds into you, biting your lip to hold back your own noises.

“So… fucking…tight.” Taehyung growls, punctuating each word with a sharp thrust. On the last word, the forehead of his cock presses against your bundle of nerves again and you let out a high-pitched whine.

Taehyung’s hips still for a second, before he adjusts his angle and starts pounding into you with renewed energy. Each thrust batters that spot within you and soon you cannot control the steady string of moans that pour out of your mouth.

“Just can’t keep quiet, can you?” Taehyung pants, still managing to sound smug even as his balls slap against your thighs obscenely, “You love cock so much, don’t you? You’re desperate for it.”

“Taehyung,” You wail, breath hitching as he leans in to suck another bruise on your neck. God, as soon as you leave the club everyone on the street will be able to tell that you were just fucked. “Please.”

“‘Please’ what, slut?”

“I need to come.”

You grip one of his wrists, trying weakly to tug it to the front of your dress.

“You want to come? In front of all these people?”

“Yes.” You gasp as he thrusts particularly hard.

Instead of sneaking around the back of your dress like before, Taehyung simply reaches underneath the front. As his fingers move up to toy with your clit, the hemline is dragged upwards so that anyone who looks can clearly see Taehyung’s cock pounding into you at a brutal pace.

He barely needs to touch you before you’re shattering around him with a piercing cry that conveniently coincides with a bass drop by the DJ. You continue to moan mindlessly as he rides through your orgasm, bucking into you with a few sporadic thrusts before you feel his come spill into you.

You simply sit on his softening cock for a few moments, both of you exhausted after the intense orgasm, before Taehyung pulls you off him, replacing your panties which he had shoved to the side so that his come does not leak out of you.

You wonder at how he is seemingly unaffected, neatly tucking himself back into his pants before rising to his feet. He pulls you up with him, placing a quick peck on your forehead to comfort you as you whine from the soreness, his hands darting around to fix your dress and your mussed hair. You know you must look like sex on legs, and the way he smirks at you pretty much confirms it.

Your mind is so dazed, you don’t protest as Taehyung leads you through the club and to the exit. You feel the gaze of several people resting on your runny mascara, shaky legs and bruised neck as you pass. The shame on your cheeks burns almost as hot as Taehyung’s come, which has started to trickle down the inside of your thigh.

Soon, you are in the car Taehyung had waiting for the two of you, and his nose buries itself in your neck as the driver wordlessly rolls up the partition.

“You smell like me.” He remarks in satisfaction, and you laugh weakly.

“I smell like sex.”

“Hm, I wonder why that is.” He replies cheekily, and you unfortunately don’t have the energy to shove him away.

“I hate you.” You moan halfheartedly, and he grins, dragging a protesting you onto his lap once more.

“I’ll leak come on you.” You threaten, before moaning as he grinds his thigh against your over-sensitive core. You feel slightly bad for the driver. That partition is definitely not soundproof.

“Come on, baby, you knew what would happen if you danced with someone else. You wanted it, don’t try to deny.”

“I didn’t.” You deny anyway, squirming as his lips curve into a smile against your marked neck.

“Yes you did. You wanted me to fuck you right there in front of everyone, show them who you belong to.”

“A-and who is that again?” You pant. Taehyung’s hands fit over the bruises his fingerprints dug into your hips, squeezing slightly. The sharp sensation of pain makes you moan.

“Do you need a reminder, baby?”

His cock twitches beneath you, and you grin.

“I think I do.”

#bts fanfic #bts fic #bts self insert #bts smut #taehyung smut #Yandere bts #Yandere taehyung #taehyung self insert #Yandere bts x reader #bts fanfiction #taehyung fanfic #taehyung x reader #bts taehyung #bts kim taehyung

[the-heartbeat-carries-on]

With My Heart in My Mouth

(Original fiction by Mod Cuore of @the-heartbeat-carries-on)

Here it is! Decided to write a bit of original fiction with a cardiophile theme :D This was fun. A little rambling and very informal (and first person, present tense, what even), but still fun to do. I hope you all enjoy it! (Rated PG for mild language)

~~~~~~~~~

Right now, teleportation sounds like the best idea in the world.

Picture me, a young woman in love, having brought her boyfriend back from the airport after a nervous but still joyous car ride. I'm beyond excited and happy that he's finally in the same house as me instead of a few thousand miles away. Picture him flopped over on the couch. He's exhausted from all the travel, but still eager to spend time with me and is in cheery spirits (even if his eyelids are dipping every so often).

And then, picture me, wanting to dive into his arms and flee the country at the same time (the latter possibly including a new identity). We’d hugged for a long while at the airport; in fact, I’m pretty sure people stared as the minutes-long embrace went on… and on… and on… So why was I getting cold feet about… well, about this?? Isn’t it natural for a girl like me to want to cuddle with her boyfriend? And listen to his heartbeat? Even though it’s something he doesn’t like? His heartbeat, not the cuddling. Jury’s out on the cuddling. But I know for a fact that he’s said before he doesn’t like heartbeats. Which you’d think would be a dealbreaker for someone like me, a cardiophile who’s loved hearts for as long as she can remember.

But noooo, my heart didn’t think that was a problem. So here we are, in my house, me sweating like a fountain and him stretched out on my couch… looking so nice and relaxed… and looking like he has the perfect spot next to him where I could fit in nice and neat--THERE I GO AGAIN.

Unfortunately, for me, he seems to have picked up on the anxiety. “You all right, Jenny?” Dammit. Either I was too obvious or he's just that good at reading people. Probably both; he’s always seemed like a people-person.

“I…” Right now would be the perfect time to lie about it, right? No, no good… he hates liars. I suddenly found just about every piece of advice I’d ever heard about honesty starting to flood my head. “Communication is key,” it all says. “It’s important to talk things out,” comes another voice. Sage advice to be sure, but with my heart pounding as hard as it is right now, can I even get the words out?

“You…?”

My lips finally part. “...Are you tired?” DAMMIT, Jenny. Just… go bury yourself in the corner, why don’t you.

He nods. “Yeah, I mean… it was a really long flight. But you look tense.” He pauses a moment, an odd look of shame crossing his face. “Oh, no, sorry; you probably wanna sit. Hold on.” In a few swift moves, he’s sitting up on the couch, cheeks a little red. Nooo, Will; that’s the LEAST of my worries. You’re not taking up space.

Well... if he’s offering me the spot, it’d be rude to not sit there, right? It’s a few moments before I find myself creaking toward the couch, like I’d just hopped off of Frankenstein’s table. Will isn’t keeping it a secret from me that he’s confused by the way I’m acting, his bushy eyebrows doing all the talking. Honestly, he has every right to be; I feel like an idiot. And all because I want to cuddle up next to him and…

He reaches over and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You’re looking really pale; you sure you’re all right?”

I try to look over, but the gaze from his slate blue eyes is a little too much. My heart punches me in the back of my ribs and I cough a little. “I’m… just kind of…”

His expression melts into one of warmth and concern. “If you’re nervous, you really don’t have to be. I mean… wait, what am I saying…?” He takes his hand off my shoulder and buries his face in his hands. “I mean… okay, I’m a little nervous myself. But… I guess a bit of nerves in the beginning is healthy. Means you’re not taking this lightly or for granted.”

That’s true; after all the time I’ve spent, thinking about me and him together, I’m not going to let any of it seem as though it’s something I’m owed. Heck, the fact that I’m together with anyone seems like a miracle in of itself after all these years (crushing on people is hard… at least for me. I feel lucky this even happened). So, with that in mind… I guess I can relax a bit. I smile, trying to look at him but still avoiding his eyes. “Y-You’re right. I guess I’m just nervous. I just… I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

He smiles, his slightly crooked teeth glistening in the remnants of daylight streaming through the window. “Me too,” he says.

A few moments of thick silence (save for the ticking of the living room clock and the ridiculously loud pounding my heart is doing, what the heeeelllll) pass before I decide to clear my throat. “Um… I h-hope this isn’t too forward of me, but…”

What am I doing?

“...I was wondering…”

Oh no.

“...if you wouldn’t mind…”

MAYDAY, MAYDAY; SOMEONE OVERRIDE MY STUPID MOUTH, QUICK!!

“...could we, you know… cuddle, maybe?”

...I blew it. That was WAY too forward, wasn’t it? I mean, this is only our second time of meeting in person, the first time we’ve met as a couple. Heck, maybe he’s not even into cuddling. He’s a hugger, sure, but… but maybe… ohhhh, I blew it.

“...Sure.”

There’s no way I can accurately describe the tone of his voice. A period doesn’t do it justice, and an exclamation point makes it sound way too enthusiastic. But there’s a definite tone of… happiness to it. It’s lighthearted, gentle… maybe not super eager, but it actually sounds like he’s… into it.

I can feel a stupid grin crawling onto my lips; good luck prying that off, I tell myself as he starts stretching back out, watching me, waiting for me to… oh, he’s patting the side next to him. I look at his face.

He’s smiling. Ohhh heavens, I can’t take this. Maybe it’s quicker than I should move, but I almost slam myself down by his side trying to fill in the space.

“Whoa! That was a rush and a half…”

I breathe in sharply. “Are you okay?? I didn’t hurt you, did I??”

Thankfully, he’s shaking his head. “No, I’m fine. That was just, I dunno, REALLY sudden.”

“Ah, sorry, sorry…” I mutter, resting my head on his chest. I try to make it as casual as I can, but, truth be told, this is what I’ve been waiting for. I’m just hoping HE’S okay with it.

I can feel him gently wrap his arm around me as I settle my head down, suddenly hearing the sound I’d longed to hear ever since my feelings for him developed.

B-thump b-thump b-thump b-thump b-thump…

I am both simultaneously mesmerized and flustered. On the one hand, I’m finally getting to hear his heartbeat. On the other hand… so much faster than I was expecting!

...And I suddenly realize that it’s probably beating that way because of me. My own heart skips a few beats, something I don’t realize he can feel.

“I think something happened…” he says. I look up into his face; his eyebrows are still reaching for his hairline.

“A-Ah, yeah…”

“It felt like your heart just kinda had a freakout.”

A wave of warmth rushes through me as he says that word, “heart.” Ordinarily, anyone saying that word would make me smile, but him? The way he curls the vowels and the “r” sound just… it’s too much. My face goes a little redder.

“I’m just… I’m sorry.”

His eyebrows crease even further. “Sorry? Sorry why? You literally haven’t done anything you need to apologise for.”

I sigh, more blush creeping up my neck. Might as well remind him, shall I? “Okay, I… you’re right,” I start. “I just… d-do you remember that first letter I gave you? Way back when we first met?”

He closes his eyes as he thinks back. “Man, that was so long ago. So much happened too; what was in it?”

No use turning back. “Well, I… I told you in it about my being a… a cardiophile.”

Yep, there’s a definite silence here. “A what?”

“I like hearts. A lot. It’s like…” The words just started pouring out. “It’s like a lifelong obsession for me. I’ve liked them ever since I was little.”

“Ohhhh…” he says, looking up as though he’s searching his brain for memory banks. “So that’s why you’ve got all that heart stuff on your blog.”

I nod slowly. “Y-Yeah…”

“So…” He looks down at me. Not two seconds go by before someone turns on the light behind his eyes (I could almost swear I can see it). “Ohhhh. You can hear my heartbeat right now, can’t you?”

All I can do is nod. “I just… I just remembered something, though.”

“What’s that?”

“You said on your blog, a while back, that you don’t like heartbeats.”

He thinks for a moment. “Yeah, I just, couldn’t really stand hearing my own so often. Like, lying in bed at night when I’m trying to sleep… Also kind of reminds me of all the horror games I’ve played. And that’s not something I want to have when I’m trying to sleep.”

He stops a moment, looking a little embarrassed. “Buuuuut I mean, if you like hearts, hey, who am I to judge?”

...Did he just say that? Really?

I can hardly believe it; it feels as though a weight has been lifted. “You’re… okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? If it makes you happy, then like away. Just because I don’t like my own heartbeat doesn’t mean you can’t. I mean... it’s not hurting me or anyone else if you do. At least, I’m assuming you’re not gonna plunge a dagger in and scream ‘Kali-ma!!’ or anything like that. If you do, I’m afraid we’re gonna have to rethink this relationship thing.”

I giggle. I have never felt so good or validated in my entire life. Smiling intensely, I let my head nestle into the gentle curvature of his chest, taking in every enthusiastic beat. A few seconds slip by before I say “In that case, let me love the parts of you that you don’t like. That way, all of you can be loved and appreciated.”

“Awww…” His expression lightly rumbles through his chest and his heartbeat picks up slightly. I catch a bit of blush on his cheeks before he closes his eyes, sighing deeply. It’s a few moments before I realize that he’s drifted off, finally robbed of consciousness at last by all the travel.

Welp. Looks like I’m stuck here beneath his arm, nestled between him and the back cushions of the couch. But with his stamp of approval and my new location next to his heart, you won’t hear me complaining. In fact, you won’t hear me at all. I can’t hear his heartbeat if I’m making any sounds of my own, after all.

#my writing #Original Work #mod cuore #cardiophile #fiction #cardiofic #with my heart in my mouth #rated PG #mild language #romance #cardio fluff #fluff #SFW #cardiophilia

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham” S5E4

...WOOF.

Also, this is just the episode of poor decisions all around.

AN:  I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post. 

*imitates the Epic Voice Trailer guy doing the Gotham commercials and ends up laughing*

Is Selina ever gonna find out that Tabitha died?  Like, she was her mentor!

Oh God, is Will dead?!?

*A shot of the fiery Haven*  Oh my God... I don’t even wanna know the casualty count for this.

*jaw drops in absolute shock*

*Barbara points her gun at Oswald*  BARBARA YOU BETTER NOT!  NOT RIGHT NOW!

Oh my God!

Holy shit!  Something tells me this was NOT Jeremiah.  I don’t think- no, no, this wouldn’t have been him. 

Holy shit!

*softly gasps in horror when Harvey gives Jim the badge that he gave Will*

Nooo!  Where’s Will?  Where the frick did that kid go?  I know he’s alive!

*reels back when the opening theme starts*  We have to start an episode like that?!?

Oh my God..

“As of now, death toll stands at 311.  49 injured, more than 2 dozen left unaccounted for.”  *drops jaw in horror*

OK, we are meeting the Walker character!

“You have been promising me help for weeks.”  So how much time has passed between the first episode and this episode?

*An angry crowd comes into the precinct*  No one is gonna be happy!

OH MY GOD, JIM DOESN’T EVEN KNOW ABOUT BRUCE AND SELINA!

*reels back*  Shiiiiitt...

“But whoever destroyed that building can’t destroy the hope we’ve built.  Not unless we let them.”  Jim, I don’t think a speech is gonna help this time.

Lucius!  He’s in this episode this time!  Oh thank God!

“Nothing makes sense anymore.”  *shakes head*

“SELINA!”  Oh my God, Bruce!

Oh my God...

*Some of Ecco’s goons come in*  Ohh no.  Ohhhhhhhhhh noooo.

*Bruce beats up some of the goons while he’s still handcuffed to the door*  Holy crap, Bruce!  Let’s go!

*can’t help but laugh when Bruce tries throwing a wrench at a goon and missing him by a long shot*

*Alfred comes to the rescue*  Ohhh!!  Alfred!  Yes!

“I was afraid you didn’t get my signal.  Lucius said the range was only a couple of miles.”  What is that?!?

“Now go on then... how did that happen?”  Selina.

“I think you’re telling porkies.”  *laughs*  What?

AN:  British slang for a big lie.

“Until that day comes... I think we should go find her.  Don’t you?”  Oh God...

“Because the person who blew up Haven has to be stopped.  That’s all that matters now.”  So who blew up Haven?

“We heard people talking about a shady guy working around Haven before it blew.”  “This is Gotham.  You’re [Barbara] gonna have to do better than ‘shady guy.’“  *laughs*

Harlow Park?  How many parks are there?

“Do you really think I could have murdered all those people?”  No... that’s not your nature.  Barbara wouldn’t have done it.

*Penguin and Co. wait for Jim in the precinct*  Ooooohhhhhhhhhhhh-oooooohhhhh...

Is Oswald gonna try and team up with Jim?

*mouths along with Oswald saying “woefully apparent”*

“...you [Jim] are outmanned, outgunned, and out of options.”  *sings*  OUTNUMBERED, OUTPLANNED!

*Penguin’s men bring in more guns*  Holy shit, they’re bringing in the big guns.  Literally and figuratively!

“Ain’t you [Oswald] just St. Nick on Christmas morning?”  *chuckles*

“I’m guessing there are strings attached?”  “No strings.  Save for the one that we’ll cinch around the neck of the Haven bomber.”  Wow, everyone just really likes Jim today!  OK, OK... OK, something’s going on.

“Let’s just hold that in abeyance for the moment.”  Abeyance?

AN:  Means that you’re gonna put something on hold for the moment.

“What do you [Jim] say, partner?”  Oh God.

I thought he [Oswald] was gonna call him “old friend.”

*eyebrows raise in confusion when Ed finds a suitcase on his daybed*  Whaaat the...

I like this music going on.

[IN AT #1215]  Inmate?  Inmate!

“Inmate #1215 knows.  KNOWS WHAT?!?”  OK, are we talking like Blackgate or Arkham?

Where are we going?

Oh my God, the mayor posters [from S3]!

*The GCPD and Oswald’s group march*  Whoa, now that’s a troop!

“Don’t tell me I gave them hope!  They’re dead.”  JIIIIIMMMM...

*Oswald pulls out a megaphone*  Of course he has a megaphone!

“There goes the element of surprise.”  *laughs*

“We will root you out like the vermin you are!”  OSWALD, stop talking!

*gasps when someone shoots the megaphone*

Whoa whoa wait...

“We’re sitting ducks out here.”  “And one Penguin.  Hey Oswald, why don’t you crawl out there, grab that bullhorn, tell him to come out here quietly?”  *laughs*

*imitates Oswald’s insulted “Yooouu...”*

“Pretty cozy up here.”  *gasps excitedly and slams hands on desk*  IT’S ZSASZ!  IT’S ZSASZ!

“Oh hey guys!”  *excitedly waves hands*  HIIII!!!

*Victor blows Oswald a kiss*  OH MY GOD!

*Ed steals a refugee’s blanket in order to sneak into the precinct*  Are we serious?  Ed, are we kidding?  Are you kidding me?  That is the worst disguise!

It’s the “Thor Ragnarok” disguise!

*gasps when Lucius catches Ed in the records room*

“It’s impolite to sneak up on people.”  “So is breaking and entering.”  *laughs*

“I am given and I am taken.  I was there from your first breath and I will follow you until your death.”  Your name.

“Call it a personal matter.”  I love that pose [that Ed does]!

He looks like Jim Carrey in the beginning of Batman Forever, with the hair hanging in his face?  Holy crap.

“What is it that you [Lucius] would like?”  “Your [Ed’s] expertise.”  Whoa, what?

“So the second smartest man in Gotham needs my help?”  Ed, shut up.

*cracks up when Ed tries to take the file from Lucius and utterly fails*

*slams fist aggressively on desk*  Detectives Lucius Fox and Edward Nygma on the case!  Let’s go!

“I [Victor] did not make that building go boom, Jim.”  *cracks up*

“You gave up any shred of honor long ago!  Why should we believe a snake like you?!?”  “Because I would never take credit for somebody’s else’s work?”  I!  Love!  Zsasz!

“Is this about Sofia Falcone?  You should really move past that.  It’s not healthy.”  *laughs*

*still laughing*  Ahhh, I need to breathe!

He [Oswald] literally has a watch and is just holding it up!

Oh my God, is Jim gonna sneak up there and like, sneak attack him [Zsasz]?  Let’s go, Jim!

*cracks up when Zsasz goes for a drink break*

*Jim body slams Zsasz to the ground*  Oh my God!

Holy shit, Jim, that was the fastest take down I’ve ever seen!

“Well done, Jim.  We make a hell of a team.”  Surprisingly yes!

“Allow me [Oswald] to deal with him [Victor].”  No, no, we’re not- no, no.

“One of the areas I [Oswald] excel at is the loosening of tongues-”  Could we not word it like that?

Oswald, do not eff this up!

*Selina follows Ecco to Jeremiah’s lair*  Ohhhhhhh here we go!

*softly*  Hoooooo here we gooo...

How did you get there so fast, Selina?

*gasps when Jeremiah slits Sykes’s throat*

“Well, not with that attitude you’re not.”  *leans far and away from screen*  Shiiiiiittt, mannn!

“Everyone, let’s reach inside and dig a little deeper, shall we?”  TIM CURRY, THAT YOU?!?

*freaks out in disgust when Jeremiah licks blood off his knife*

Ohhhh... Oh God...

*pauses when Jeremiah starts talking to himself*

*laughs when Jeremiah stops talking to himself and awkwardly clears his throat when Ecco walks in*

*gasps when Jeremiah grabs Ecco by the neck to inspect her scar*

*is pretty much speechless when Jeremiah and Ecco start dancing*

“Bruce Wayne and his sidekick Curls- or is he the sidekick?”  *gives small smile*

“And Curls can walk.  Really well.  Especially... for a paraplegic.”  *jaw drops*

*raises eyebrow in interest when Jeremiah purrs appreciatively at Ecco*

Should we leave them alone at all... like do they need anything?

Like snacks.... a condom?  Like, like... um... kay...

AN:  Also, I can definitely tell that Cameron Monaghan looked at Tim Curry for Jeremiah, especially the voice and the way he looks at people.  Y’know how Tim Curry’s voice in “Rocky Horror Picture Show” just oozes this sort of sexual presence?  That’s exactly what he’s doing, especially when he’s with Ecco.

“OK recruits, let’s do like my daddy did before my sixth birthday and move out!”  *literally chokes on my drink*

Oh my God, wha- *has to take a moment to calm down and cough up my lungs*

OH MY GOD, did- did she just say [Ecco] that?

“Evidence of deflagration would suggest something with a slower burn rate, like gunpowder or nitroglycerin.”  A bazooka?  Did someone bazooka the building?

“The bomb was the building.”  *imitates the way Ed says “the bomb”*

“Ow!  That’s a really nice table.”  *chuckles*

“Figured with you guys occupied, I [Victor] might help myself to some of your supplies.”  Of course he would!

“If I blew up a building full of people, I would have covered every inch of my body in sweet, sweet scars.”  But let’s see them!

“You gonna do a strip search?  I’d [Victor] let Alvarez do it.  He’s handsome.”  *jaw drops*  Ohh my God!

AN:  What’s better is that line was improvised by Anthony Carrigan.

Oh that shot’s awesome [of Oswald in the precinct entrance]

“Oh, I did not expect you to go soft, Jim.”  He’s not going soft!  He’s telling you the evidence!

*shakes head and sighs in disappointment when Oswald orders his men to bring him Zsasz*

“Despite our inflamed passions-”  Could you not say that?

“Good to know who’s really in charge here, Jim.”  Oooohhh...

“That and the RPG case is right over there.”  Did the guy literally just leave out all the evidence for them to find?  Great job, dude.

“I truly hope you find whoever did this and make them pay.”  OK, so like everyone is after this Haven shooter!

“I appreciate your help, Ed.  Couldn’t have done it without you.  If you tell anyone I said that, I will deny it.”  *chuckles*  Lucius, I love you!

*Ed reads that the inmate he’s looking for is dead*  Oh my God...

Wait, why does he [Ed] have blood on his sleeve cuff?

“Deaf old bat!”  Oh my God...

“You gotta do something.”  “Yeah, like what?  Make another speech?”  *laughs* 

“Maybe this is what the people need.”  Jim, no!  You are turning into Magneto from “Dark Phoenix!”

“So, will I [Victor] be appointed a lawyer?  I feel like my rights are being violated.”  *chuckles*

*Victor gets his mouth duct taped shut*  MMM-MMM...

“He [Jim] claims that Mr. Zsasz is not responsible for the bombing!”  LISTEN TO THE EVIDENCE!

“Captain Gordon, if you would like to say something, now is the time.”  Do not make another freaking speech!

Tell the evidence, Jim!  Come on!  *slams water bottle on desk*

“I know you all want justice-”  Oh my- JIIM, we don’t need a speech!  We do not need a speech!

“What we do now is more important than ever.”  They're not gonna like that.

“Now that the defense has rested, let’s put it to the crowd.”  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

*Crowd calls Zsasz guilty*  Oh my God... WELP...

Oh there’s the Penguin theme in the background

*shakes head in disapproval*  Ohhhh my God...

Can we go back to Jeremiah?

OH MY GOD, IS THAT A GUILLOTINE?!?

*gasps*  The Pax Penguina posters!

“...I sentence you, Victor Zsasz, to die.”  No.

“Any last words?”  *sings*  THAT’S WHAT THEY ALL SAY!

*gasps when Oswald shoots the rope holding the guillotine blade up*

*sighs in relief when Harvey drags Zsasz away just in time*  Ohhhh my God, I thought he was gonna die!

Holy shit, I thought they were gonna kill off Victor.  Ohhh my God...

“I [Harvey] gotta be honest, Jim, I don’t know how safe Zsasz is gonna be at the GCPD.”  He’s not going to be safe.  Or he’s gonna escape.

*Jim decides to let Victor go*  Jesus Christ, Jim!

“This city will never be what you it to be, Jim.  It’s always gonna belong to the bad guys... like me.”  Hell yes it does!  Accept it, Jim!

“Give him your gun, Harvey!”  What??

We are not doing a showdown right now, Jim!

He’s [Victor] not gonna shoot Jim, he’s not gonna shoot him...

*gasps*  He [Jim] wants Victor to shoot him!

*jaw drops in shock*

*collapses back in relief when Victor turns him down*  Oh my God... oh my God...

“See you around, Jim.”  Jesus Christ...

Jim is losing it in this episode!

*gasps when some of the tunnel workers get knocked out*

That was Bruce, right?

*Bruce emerges from the shadows and catches up to Alfred*  YEAAHHH!  Let’s go!

Also, holy crap, how did they track down everyone else so fast?

*laughs when Jeremiah starts fanning himself with his hat*

“So what do we do when we feel like giving up?”  “Dig a little deeper.”  *starts singing “Dig a Little Deeper” from “The Princess and the Frog”*

*gasps and yells in absolute shock when Jeremiah gets stabbed*

“Deep enough?”  *covers mouth in hands and yells*

THEY’RE [the workers] JUST GONNA STAND THERE [while Selina stabs Jeremiah]?!?

*screams into hands when Selina stabs Jeremiah multiple times*

NO NO NO nonononono!

*yells when Bruce comes in and pulls Selina off Jeremiah*

*gasps when the workers go after Bruce*

OK, wait wh- what happened to Selina?!?

GET UP- NO, NONONONO!  GET UP!

*slams hands on desk repeatedly*  You’re fine, you’re fine, you’re fine!  Get up, get up, get up!

*sits back in chair*  Oh my God...

“I hate stairs!”  Me too!

OK, hold on, hold on...

“You were on the roof and you had some kind of a rocket.”  *jaw drops in shock*  OH MY GOD, ED BLEW UP HAVEN?!?

*Ed starts to remember*  Oh my God!

Why?!?  Why would he blow up Haven?!?

Also, the long hair and bowler hat is not a look.

*jaw drops when we see Ed blow up Haven in a flashback*

Woman in Apartment!  1215!

*Gasps when Ed shoves the witness out the window to her death*

Uh wha- wha-

*Jim takes a drink of whiskey*  Yeah, god damn, Jim, me too if I was old enough.

*shakes head*  WHY IS BARBARA THERE?!?

“Poor Jim.  All alone again.”  SHUT UP, Barbara.

“No one knows what it’s like to be him.”  Barbara, get the hell out!  Stop talking-

*Barbara gets in Jim’s face*  NO!  NO!  NONONONONO!  NO!  STOP IT!  RIGHT NOW!

MMMMMMMMMMMMM NO!  NO NO NO.

Jim, you better freaking not.

NO

*LEAVES THE ROOM when Jim kisses Barbara* Get the f-

*sits back down after a good five seconds*  Get the frick out of here!

*End credits start*  That’s it?  We’re just- we’re gonna end on that?  We’re gonna- what?!?

Wha- no, Jeremiah ain’t dead.  They’re gonna freakin’ leave Jeremiah there.  They’re gonna- Jesus...

Really?!?

I’m gonna need like a week to recover from that.  Holy crap!

#ruin #Gotham #gotham spoilers #gotham fox #gotham season five #FOX #the blogger reacts #looked at the stars and considered a reaction #selina kyle #edward nygma #barbara kean #jim gordon #lucius fox #bruce wayne #oswald copplepot #victor zsasz #jeremiah valeska #ecco gotham #eccomiah #anthony carrigan #tim curry #harvey bullock #alfred pennyworth #cameron monaghan #will thomas

[unoutan]

Predatory/Unwanted Advances at Conventions: Always be vigilant folks, predators come in many forms and places...even places like NYCC.

Mini-rant because, this is the first time this has happened to Me and I went to a two cons by myself before. The one moment where I go to a separate panel from my friends and this happens to me.

I felt very uncomfortable when this random white guy comes up to me saying that he saw me before last con. “You look familiar”, said the white guy that randomly ran up to me after I came from an anime panel. 

Bullshit. My alarm bells rang. I didn’t talk to anyone except artists at the artists alley and to official folks at booths at the main floor. 

Never saw this guy in my life.

I just left an Kodansha panel and this white giy tried to say that he knew me. I said I didn’t now him real quick. Sorry, I can’t remember you etc. Something like that. 

Then right after he’s like….“You’re Japanese, right?”

CUE OBVIOUS YELLOW FEVER. 

So okay, that explains why he wanted to talk to me. I corrected him sternly. “No. I am not Japanese. I’m Filipino.”

And he’s like, “Ohhhh, you speak TAG A LOG?” Tag. A. Log: Like you’re playing a game of tag with a bunch of wooden logs. Worst pronunciation ever and the awkward only grewwww:

The face I was making, the ‘nooo’ darting eyes, ending everything in a question mark tone…nothing, none of that shit got through to this dude. I regret now that I didn’t cut him off at the beginning. The biggest fucking clue was the assumption/rush to ask if I’m Japanese and damn it, I was just too put on the spot to react. 

Then this white guy was like, “We were talking together about something. I remember you from last year’s con.”

Not wanting to be rude (Goddamn it. I was so caught off guard since this is the first time this has everrr happened to me at a con. My time is my time. I don’t have to cater to you if I don’t wish to, if I’m not comfortable, if I CLEARLY SAID I DON’T KNOW YOU. I’m feeling the anger rising again as I type this.) I was like, eye twitch and then awkward laugh, “Ah. Hah. What did we talk about?”

“We talked about Education and whatnot.”

What.

Vague as shit and the casual ‘whatnot’ brush off. The conversation that obviously never took-fucking-place wasn’t important then, and yet, this dick claims to know me?

A male friend of mine said, ‘oh, he was probably trying to be friendly? Maybe? Or they did know you.” Nah. That didn’t come off as friendly to me. Why justify the other person, when it was I WHO WAS THE ONE UNCOMFORTABLE. THAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. YOU. It doesn’t matter if the guy was ‘trying to be friendly.’ No, screw that, look out for you folks, you matter. 

As soon as I said I didn’t remember a second time, the awkward came back quick, and the white guy made no further attempt to strike anymore convo. So I said, ‘I gotta go’, and I DID.

Shut shit down. 

I sped walked into the main hall where the crowds are more dense. I talked to a vendor about how cool their merchandise is and told them a little how I was uncomfortable with someone who approached me in the convention. And they were cool with it! <3 Nice people out there. (My love to you, whoever you are) 

My friends who identify as women immediately went, “Ohhhh no, no nooo.’ agreeing with me. They guy was trying to do a weird segway into talking to me because, from a far, he thought I was a Japanese girl. 

Trust your gut. Trust the alarm bells ringing in your ears. Trust how you feel.

I’m sad to say, bad people like this find new ways to hook people in and I just want to punch someone right now. It makes me so angry.

Be vigilant, be wary of your surroundings, be wary where your friends are in case they lose you/you accidentally lose them in the crowd, and if you are alone, get away quick. Remove yourself from the uncomfortable situation, anyway you can. 

I might have said this already, but this is your time. Your happy con time. Don’t let people manipulate you to give them time like that, at random like that with a fake-ass, super predatory, yellow fever bullcrap. 

My peeps, keep an eye out for shit like this. Especially my asian peeps. I’m serious.

Love you Comic con and all the decent people at the convention. I met so many nice people at conventions, so this one surprised the heck outta me. It’s all about the gut. It can happen anywhere folks. Anyway. Anytime. 

Be safe. BE SAFE AT THE LAST TWO DAYS OF NYCC and any other con goers. Be safe all the time at cons.

Thank you for reading this PSA. Mini-rant over and out, and I won’t let this one thing get me down. -Unoutan

#personal #nycc #new york city comic con #comic con #nycc2017 #convention safety #convention #anime convention #fandom #signal boost #be safe #safety #convention tips #new york comic con #comic-con #nyc comic con #unoutan #unoutan writes #public service announcement #psa #asian american problems #southeast asian problems #asian problems #yellow fever problems #anime