#and neither of them have ACTUAL NAMES

[hausofmamadas]

SE LA ARRANCA A MORDIDAS | mystery of Amado's anonymous lady-hustlers, solved

⁂

Holy father who art in heaven, do I have some fucking cracked ass head-canon nonsense for us to👏🏽 day👏🏽 …………….. let’s get to it shall we??

so idk if anyone anyone being the largely nonexistent narcos fandom aka the void Im speaking into remembers that one scene from Narcos in S3 where sleazy!OG!Amado told that one story about those sex workers who robbed him blind, mid-mamadita?

anyone ..... no?

dwdwdw that's okay bc I brought some visual aids to assist in our collective remembrance of this glorious occasion

⁂

The scene starts like this: 👇

Okay, yeah, right? legendary? legendary. just truly legendary behavior skfjskj on all fronts. but the identities of these social justice warriors— no wait activists— no wait, crusad— er no, patriarchy demolishers? iconic crimies with a penchant for for mid-fellatic felonies like armed robbery have been completely anonymous thus far.

…………… until now.

Bc as always, Narcoverse papis Doug Miro, Andrés Baiz, and Carlo Bernard, never fail to fill in the blanks except when they do cause Griselda left a lot to be desired and this is arguably the best ep of the show which, yeah. it’s never ideal when the best ep of a 6ep limited series is the 2nd one si me entiendes😬😬😬 but we digress because im 99.99999999999999% sure if these two sex workers from Griselda aren’t also the two legends who hustled Amado’s dick money out his pants pockets without having to fire so much as a single shot, I’m fairly certain they’re at least inspired by and carrying the torch aka bottling and distilling that Big Dick Energy to perfection of those brave women.

What gave me this idea? So glad you asked dear reader you didn’t but we’ll just pretend you did cause this my haus KEKW…. No like even I rolled my eyes at my own self for that but i couldn’t refrain either.

It all happened when I was nursing my new obsession with a one, Mr. Darío Sepúlveda a name I would most certainly believe to be fucking fake were he not an irl human bean.

👇👇 THIS slice of sweet, cherry pie right tf here

And I stumbled upon this one specific part, where the look on this chick’s face is SO FUCKINGKDHDHDGWVE SIMILAR to Amado’s face, when he’s explaining 👇👇👇👇👇👇👇how the burgling commences when the gurgling is interrupted by with an uncomfortable silence, as this chick proceeds to, hog still in mouth, cease any and all throat activity and fuckingskdfjskl just stare. up. at. him.

all 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Like tell me homegirl’s face here👇👇 👇👇 doesn’t look just like it????????????

YOU CANTSJSHSJSHWUS YOU cANT. EVIDENCE IS IRREFUTABLE.

Anyway. Movingright along.

So, if aforementioned homegirl is the 🙇🏻‍♀️ from la historia del grande señor de los cielos, then that makes this ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️ ... homegirl’s accomplice

with the👇👇sidearm

and like the general only slightly subtle "I eat dicks like urs for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and a midnight snack" vibes that this duo is serving throughout but esp below bc never will I ever not refer to a fuckboy as mancito from now until I'm in my grave alsdkjfa like MANCITO. THE WAY SHE SAYS IT WITH SUCH ALSKDJFKS CONTEMPT, CAN YOU STAND IT????? makes it so clear in my mind's eye how they could 100000000000%% be the unnamed heroes thieves from Amado's little story

also full 180 just on the low but can we all moment of silence for this 👇👇 FUCKINGSDLDFJ LOOK ON DARIO'S FACE WHEN SHE CORRECTS HIM, "quien te dijo eso? ... un mancito?" LIKE HE FUCKIGNSLDFKJSLKJ KNOWS, HE KNOWS HE HAS ERRED ON THIS PATH, HE KNOWS HE CANNOT PASS GO, CANNOT COLLECT 200 DOLLARS AND HE HAS THE GOOD SENSE TO BE GRACIOUS ABOUT IT AND IMAS;DFLIJA;LWEJF;KAJWE;FAKJ; SFUCKINGS DFKLJSLDF JA;K CRYING, SCREAMING, THROWING UP, INCONSOLABLE. LIKE LOOK. AT THIS. OKAY, THAT A MAN, NO MANCITO

*smacks own face, jiggles head back and forth, takes deep breath* anyway.... back to the story

and this is where this prob super unhinged really solidifies bc let's join hands class and pledge alliegance to the most impressive and noteworthy alpha but in the most non-cringe way assertion of dominance I have ever fucking witnessed in all my days. Like, legit the next time i'm into a dude the way i say this like it's not an 'if' bc RIP to my love life lbr fuck all that playing coy, fuck all that flirting. We just gonna get right to the point bc imma climb all over his lap, purr in his face, and ask about his hobbies like it's the 1978 equivalent of a Hinge profile SKSKKSK

and the next time I am spurned I will absolutely grab his junk in a naked hahahaksdjfk grab for a proper leash power to gain the upper hand in the situation and shame any and all menfolk who claim to not like me bc I'm not their 'type.' which like sksjsjsjs admittedly poor Dario just said that as a pretense to get the chisme from the chick who hates Grislenda bc the look of unconcealed regret on his face when Mistress Mamma Crotch Snatcher Morton gets up seems like a good indicator he would've paid to play with his balls

BUT LIKE SIDE BY SIDE WITH AMADO GETTING TO THE metaphorical CLIMAX bc I sincerely doubt they let him bust, mid-robbery OF HIS STORY, CAN WE NOT SEE HOW CLEARLY THESE TWO WOMEN WERE THE ONES WHO JACKED AMADO OFF– NO WAIT THEY DECIDEDLY DID NOT DO THAT ALL OF AMADO’S SHIT, LIKE CAUGHT PAPI WITH HIS ACTUAL PANTS DOWN SKSJSB

and lest any of us were convinced that Lady "Hijueputa Mandona Esa" who hates Griselda wasn't the one holding the gun on Toque, telling Amado she's gonna have her friend chew clear through his disco stick like some froot by the foot, please refer to exhibit B here ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️where she's manspreading for jesus in these fucking hot pants. I mean try to tell me that ain't power. c'mon

AND THEN THE WAY SHE FUCKINGSLDFKJSL HUSTLES DARIO FOR EXTRA CASH, ALL "you gotta pay me more than that pittance bc yeah, she were a mouthy bitch but I didn't hate her that bad" ensuring he had no choice but to leave a tip, just like our pobre mujeriego, himbo extraordinaire, Sleazy!OG!Amado

And if this isn't the most iconic reminder to tip your servers, folks which everyone should be doing already I truly don't know what is.

═

taglist: @ashlingnarcos @tofuwildcard @narcolini @drabbles-mc

#narcos #griselda #amado carrillo fuentes #dario sepulveda #pacho herrera #two unnamed FUCKIN HEROES #griselda netflix #narcos netflix #netflix narcos #no forreal I tried to IMDb the names of their characters #and neither of them have ACTUAL NAMES #the flagrant disrespect #ain’t no justice for these flop house warriors I mean #respect your sex workers guys #griselda blanco #original gifs #my gifs

[mumblesplash]

don’t you hate it when your civilization flees deep underground to escape the wither only to find yourselves trapped down there with something even worse. anyway surprise! i can still draw

#my art #minecraft #minecraft fanart #minecraft ancient cities #they named it the warden because they were its prisoners i will die on this hill #see fellas when i said i was brainrotting about ancient cities i meant like advanced stages of decay #Bad Syndrome: instead of a brain there is sculk #i'm still pondering additional designs for like guards/soldiers and redstone specialists etc #also yeah i was like ok time to design generic ancient city residents for outfit concepts #and bc i'm me they immediately became Characters and now it's a whole thing #their names are echo and felix and they hate each other <3 #echo was actually a temple kid like felix growing up but he fled to the outer city due to irreconcilable differences w the sculk worshippers #felix keeps trying to convince him to come back bc he was one of their most talented alchemists #they don't quite have echo's talent for magic but they make up for it in charisma and violent tendencies #neither of which have yet proved effective in convincing echo to come work for them #these days he mostly dedicates his potion skills to making life a bit more bearable for outer city residents #he got the nickname 'echo' due to his knack for inducing realistic auditory hallucinations of dead loved ones #...i TOLD you it turned into a whole thing #i also have a pet theory that ancient cities invented skeleton horses bc they needed horses but also leather and meat #but that's mostly bc i think the phrase 'have your horse and eat it too' is rly funny

[canisalbus]

Almost forgot to look at the tags in that Giordano post, I'm glad that Cardinals being higher than Archbishops was something you mentioned, and that I was remem that fact correctly :). And I love that Machete surpasses someone who thought him to be a "good for nothing". Go white boy go!

.

#that sure pissed off that old man Giordano #didn't see that one coming #becoming a bishop is a very big deal #archbishop is an extra prestigious bishop that leads a particularly important diocese #and above both are cardinals #you usually have to be a bishop first to become one but it hasn't always been strictly mandatory there's lots of rules and exceptions #I think Machete is a bishop but largely in name only #in practice he kind of shortcutted from being a priest to a cardinal with very little bishophood in between #Vatican was kind of a wild west back then and in the end it's within Pope's power to grant these titles however he sees fit #and Machete was Pope's trusted personal assistant for years #moreover if you compare church ranks to secular royalty/nobility cardinals are equal to princes #so when you look at the power dynamics they're only second to pope as well as actual kings and queens #at least that's the case in Machete and Vasco's times I'm not sure about the present day #Vasco is a count so he's actually significantly lower in the hierarchy despite being blue-blooded #but neither of them have really internalized that #when they met Vasco came from a rich family and Machete was a no-name social climber #answered #anonymous

[imsociallyanxiousgetoverit]

Working on a Switched-at-Birth AU (not the show) with Danny and Tim but I just wanna make it clear to anyone who’s interested in this (whenever I finish writing what I can i’ll post) that Switched-at-Birth doesn’t mean they experience exactly what the other did in their life.

That’s the TLDR while my anxious overcompensation is below if you want that

Lots of things are blatantly different, especially for Daniel Wayne. Just because you see a lot of what looks the same on Tim’s side doesn’t mean that it isn’t very different just like with Danny. There’s only one-two Canons with Danny Phantom. There’s TOO MANY with DC content containing Timothy Drake. I can’t exactly match their lives even if I wanted to and I don’t.

So just- if you’re a like a purist or something for Tim Drake’s life then please make sure you keep in mind this ISN’T Tim Drake it’s Timonthy Fenton and Daniel Wayne.

Nothing is exactly the same even if lots of it does seem it at certain points. I point this out cuz I know some of Tim’s major life points won’t happen and some of his major character traits may not show up initially or in the same ways as is known typically.

Same goes for Danny but I’ve never seen anyone get really torn up over his character being different in some way so… I’m inexperienced thus less anxious about it, I guess.

#lots of tags below plz read them all if you’re interested in this idea #I’ll be fully open to new interpretations once I post mine #and of course if you have ideas from just the name alone go ahead #dpxdc sab au #dcxdp sab au #these aren’t exclusive to me btw yall can use them if you write something for this idea #my fic/idea will have a different title #dpxdc #dcxdp #dpxdc au #dcxdp au #also wanna make sure y’all know #I’m focusing on each of them with their families first #before I have them realize there was a mistake at the hospital #it was actually a mistake #I’ll make that clear now #I’ll also make sure yall know this is a C+ Fenton Parenting and B+ Wayne Parenting fic #neither set 👀 of parents are actively harmful to their children intentionally #F’d up thwip still happens but how they all respond to it is different #Same Universe and Still Heroes

[rillette]

charlie warmup for today 👍

#charlie vicker #the thingys name is clint eastwood and it wants to eat his constructs soooooooo bad #basketball #very funny to me that i have like 2 gl ocs and neither of them are GLs #actually wait guys nobody fucking knows about charlie vicker this is our chance to convince people that eastwood is a real character

[gemshroud]

More philosophical character discussions

#my bf and i have many names for r.a. salvatore #are they affectionate? antagonistic? yes. #ooc #all you need to know about dahlia (book character) is that she is even edgier than him and he is so soggily in love with her it makes me il #they actually have some great moments of sharing trauma together #and battle flirting of course #but at the end of the day he's just soooooooo sad and wet and tenderly trying to offer care to someone for the first time in his life and A #neither of them know wtf they are doing it's great #there's evil spider brainwashing it's like fanfiction to me

[lady-harrowhark]

Hi there. Just wanted to tell you that recently i reread your tlt bre fic bc i wanted to feel the specific emotion it made me feel a few months back and yep, got that sweet sweet comfort like the first time. Thank you, truly

🥺🥺🥺

knowing that someone thinks about and comes back to something i've written for comfort is simultaneously so hard to wrap my head around and so incredibly touching. i'm beyond happy that it can provide that for you and also so very happy that you took the time to let me know 💛

#it's always such an odd experience to know that other people have Perceived And Experienced the lil daydream movie i watch in my head #ya know? #also lmao sorry to everyone who has to just refer to it as like 'emily's bre fic' because i gave it such a stupidly long title #i was actually just thinking the other day how the way i refer to it as 'i know you don't want to' in my head #is like when someone names their kid something with the intention of them going by their middle name #and sometimes you gotta wonder like why they didn't just use that name for their first name #except it's not a kid it's a fic and also it's a song lyric #and i think neither part of that line fully captures The Vibe on its own #i will try to make the next fic title less unwieldy lmao #more wieldy. if you will. #ask #Anonymous #ikydwt

[waugh-bao]

I noticed they changed their Spotify profile pic to just the three of them. I get that Charlie isn’t in the band anymore, but it just feels wrong on so many levels.

And you made a good point about that physical gap between Mick and Keith in the photo and how they would probably end up calling it quits if something happened to Mick or Keith. I honestly think they would continue on without Ronnie if it came to that, sadly. I just have so many feelings about this.

The picture that they use in their description:

Used to be their profile photo, and I wouldn’t be shocked to see that change in the next couple days either.

I don’t even know anymore…

#I’m going to be really mean for a second #because at this point I feel justified #no one is going to give a shit about this album or steve being in the band 5 years after they call it a day #if that #music critics and historians and all the other people involved in preserving and shaping the legacy of a band #are almost guaranteed to write this off as the period when they really should have quit and didn’t/when they became every other 60s rock #band that tours under its original name even though only 2 members are left #it’s not a good look #and the only era(s) and the only music that’s actually going to last #is what they did with Charlie #most people (and a lot of critics) haven’t given a toss for anything they’ve done since Tattoo You #this album isn’t going to change that #neither is ignoring Charlie’s existence and acting like they’re some brand new ‘energetic’ band #it just makes them seem craven and more concerned with praise and profit than loyalty #I get that mick hates nostalgia #but the reality is. if they ever actually tour with Hackney Diamonds. they’ll play 3-4 songs off it (maybe) in a concert and then go back to #the classics. not closing up shop after Charlie has made this the ultimate Boomer ‘we’re too special for that to happen to us’ nostalgia #trip #setting a torch to their reputation for loving respecting and always directing attention towards the importance of their drummer #for some short term feel good goal #is not going to sit well in the long term #with fans or in their own souls (metaphorically speaking) #the rolling stones #charlie watts #ask response #charliesmydarling

[troublcmakcrs]

y'all: umm... whatcha got there?

me, with the oc i created solely to ship with tweek in his older verses: nothin, mind your fucking business

#misc :: ( ooc ) #//originally i created her To Die #//to show the dangers of drugs or whatever #//just like tweek's older male love interest was created solely to be Kind Of An Asshole #//but now i'm a little attached to her :(((( #//so it might be that in older verses where tweek is not being shipped with anyone he is married to her #//in verses where he is being shipped with other muses she can die a lil. as a treat :) #//tweek: AS A TREAT?! WHAT KINDA FUCKIN TREAT IS THAT??? #//with his male love interest redd (who i named before learning there is already a sp character named red and may have to rename) #//tweek actually wasn't actually in love with him. it was a relationship of convenience. a roof over his head and good sex #//but with this one... who i am considering naming jenna/jenny or aurora/rory... he is hopelessly terribly grotesquely in love with her #//OH TO BE TWO METH ADDICTS ABSENTLY PETTING EACH OTHER WHILE MAKING FUTURE PLANS NEITHER ONE OF THEM IS SURE THEY'LL LIVE TO SEE #//in verses where she does die she gets murderalized by another addict #//tweek is passed out and doesn't learn of her death until the next day #//which is spicy and fun; we love a good dead gf trope in this house (sorry women) #//BUT ALSO I THINK THEY DESERVE TO BE SOBER AND MARRIED WITH KIDS :'( #//she is just such a ray of light and also wants to get off of meth and run away to somewhere warmer #//she's just got such a kind & giving heart and most people can't see past her addiction to get to it #//unlike redd who doesn't care and highkey enables tweek in his bad habits #//timeline-wise tweek is with redd around 20/21 #//and meets the girl around 23/24 #//or so i am thinking so far #//''vacation town'' by the front bottoms is a good song for verses where she dies and do got me fucked up

[reflectionsofgalaxies]

idk I think someone who knows how to edit images should add Emily Dickinson’s ‘love is immortality’ over images of Ava and Beatrice

Unable are the Loved to die

For Love is Immortality,

Nay, it is Deity—

Unable they that love—to die

For Love reforms Vitality

Into Divinity.

#it just seems very ~them~ does it not?? #genuinely do not think it could be more fitting #(it’s 2am so i’m not going to get too into it but) #(blah blah- Ava’s lust for life- Vitality- plus Beatrice’s acceptance of love- for herself for another- creating something new and Divine #if i had an attention span and enough money to pay for Microsoft word i’d be back to writing fic just for them #but alas i have neither of those things #so i just spin them slowly in my brain like a ballerina in a music box #anyway if someone actually does this i will cry #Emily Dickinson #poetry #Avatrice #Warrior Nun #Sister Beatrice #Ava Silva #Save Warrior Nun #ALSO bc i need this opinion to be heard by somebody but i don’t feel brave enough to make it it’s own post #my take on Ava’s pet names for Bea is that she would also use ‘Sweet Bea’ like ‘Sweet Pea’ for the sake of the pun #entirely unrelated to this post i just needed to put that out there #personal

[scooterpengie]

I made a spite Spidersona!

Dedicated to the fact that I said to my friends "if I was bitten by a radioactive spider, I just wouldn't become spiderman" and they were all like "it's not really a choice, think of all the people that would die if you didn't" but I'm stubborn and may have been watching too much Villainous so here's my spiderman who doesn't actually save people. They play the part of a hero to the public but when there's actual crime to fight they just go home and hide.

Their outfit is lowkey inspired by Miraculous ladybug 😭 since they both wear red skintight suits based off insects, I thought it would be funny if my character like didn't get the memo and came dressed as the wrong insect.

#the reason this is so sarcastic is because i'm actually not a big fan of spiderman #also i still haven't seen across the spiderverse #Spidersona #spiderman #My art #Spiderman fans please don't attack me for this #They don't have a name because I'm bad at names #Their design is on purposely basic #Like they're really half assing it #if they ever encounter an evil villain they'll just give in immediately #The t shirt is because I don't like skintight suits (neither do they) #I don't watch mlb but the similarity was too good to pass up #shitpost #This is dumb #Turns out spite is a great art motivator #Should I do actual good art of them #My ocs #Delete later?

[starlightcleric]

I may have failed my will save and picked up BG3, if only to play with the character creator and screenshot my choices for later. I'm still pretty sure that I want to play a Way of Shadows Monk for my first character (who will then be a wood elf because statline), but Gith are also really pretty so I'm saving this wizard lady.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #neither of them have names yet #because I haven't decided on my name theme for this game #The previous BGs are named after valkyries #but I don't know if I consider this enough of an actual continuation of the series #I suppose since this is 5e it should be wisdom save #bleh

[myvisekaiblog]

I just checked and found ZERO fucking fanfiction on AO3 for the Dark History Villainess manga and that’s just a shame. REALLY? Nothing??? It simply boggles the mind. Not even, like, crossovers with a dozen other properties I could despair about or bad x readers or even, like, idk. Anything? Man, it sucks.

Now I have to write the fanfiction about Iana and her terrible no-good unnegotiated BDSM sessions undergone to keep her terrible no-good murderous simp intact. Frankly, shocked nobody jumped on this already.

#the dark history of the reincarnated villainess #villainess isekai #Which acronym shall I use? #Tdhotrv? TDHORV? Mayhaps I shLl simply use ‘Dark History’ for short #anyways Yomi is hot and his entire character is a hilarious fucking joke #fucking love him. the best most iconic most CHARACTER of all time #super fond of Sol and Iana (who truly just. very strange about her former self-insert now sister) but neither of them are quite as batshit #somehow #somefuckinghow #is there a wiki? I don’t want to have to go through and gather up yomi and sol’s last names by hand #ah well labors of love it is

[favroitecrime]

barbie discourse getting unhinged actually please end the debates by tomorrow. the movie did nothing to deserve all this chaos and the fact i saw someone say margot and the movie started a ‘movement’… please.

#may have to be a hater just bc of these people actually #BREATHE the white women will be fine #neither of them had a shot anyway who cares😭 #also shouldn’t have based half their marketing on ken if they weren’t looking for success on ken’s part🤷🏻‍♀️ #also how DARE any of you make america feel like she needs to apologize #YOU missed the point of the movie if you’re ignoring america’s achievement here in favor of bitching about two white women #actually you probably didn’t i didn’t watch the movie #but the fact so many people walked out blubbering about ‘important message’ and then almost everyone who did #having this horrendous reaction. maybe the message sucked and wasn’t spoken clearly cause WHAT are you so upset about #and WHY would you attempt to put down the other women who RIGHTFULLY earned their place in the noms? #it’s so funny actually everyone who’s being asked who they’d sub in for margot instead is going silent cause really who the hell are u #replacing and even if you DO manage to come up with a name why is greta lee not your first choice #tag: i speakth

[practically-an-x-man]

2, 6, 12, 19, 25 for the End of Year asks!

Thank you!

End of Year Asks

2. Album of the year?

So Much (for) Stardust by Fall Out Boy! I've got it on vinyl and I have been listening to it basically nonstop (some exaggeration... but not much) since it came out

6. Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

Oooh, that's tough. I think I'm gonna go with Collectors from season one of the Sandman - I watched the show early this year (that one was my favorite episode) and promptly fell headfirst into a Sandman hyperfixation. I read the comics, wrote some fanfics, did SFX makeup of the Corinthian, and even got to meet one of the artists at a convention (did the SFX makeup again and HE asked ME for a photo when I showed him, so that was really cool)

It's obviously not any internal shift or revelation, not really an episode that defines my life or anything, but it's probably had the most tangible ripple effect of any TV show I watched this year.

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

Well, I don't know if you know him... he writes angst really well, and he's got a bunch of really interesting and complex OCs. We mainly got in touch at the end of the year, with this Secret Santa game he created? Anyway, they're pretty neat and really helped me explore some cool ideas with my OCs. ;)

19. What’re you excited about for next year?

Later this year, I'll be moving away from home and attempting to get a start in my full SFX career. To be honest, I am TERRIFIED (yes, I have cried myself to sleep some nights bc I'm so stressed about rent and finances)... but if I get past that, I'm really excited to take that leap and dive into my passion. Hopefully someday you'll see my work on the big screen!

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

Well, I've already talked about my headfirst slide into Cooperstown on a bad bet the Sandman fandom this year, so I'll talk about Prometheus. They're a rogue dream, formerly one of Morpheus' first creations (the Fear of the Dark, AKA Nyx). They carry a torch and wander the dreamscape by night, fighting off the nightmares of other dreamers to help them find peaceful sleep. They were originally created as a reader-insert, so I've intentionally avoided describing any physical features - they've since grown a lot as a character, but I keep that lack of physical features because I think it's a fun writing exercise and really works for the nonhuman eternal being side of things. I've technically written four fics for them (Secret Worlds, (Farewell) Wanderlust, The Calling, and a crossover gift fic called King), but I plan to write another fic called Ruin to finish out their story. I really do enjoy writing for them, though, and I doubt Ruin will be the end of it.

#yes yes I technically have two ocs named nyx. though technically neither of them are their *actual* names so they're a little distinct #my friends!!! #answered asks #ask game