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#and my mom kept questioning ''are you SURE you want to go into engineering'' bc she just couldn't understand me liking it
alewyren · 1 year
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possibly a hot take but I think a lot of people are way too comfortable with STEM illiteracy.
Thing is, the way math and science are often taught in compulsory education sucks. Way too much time spent on busywork largely made redundant by modern technology, not enough time spent understanding concepts--frankly, I’m beginning to wonder if splitting math and physics into two separate subjects is a mistake, because you really can’t understand one without the other. Straight up, modern technology has made the busywork part of math mostly obsolete. Doing basic operations over and over again, memorizing formulas without any insight into their deeper meaning, is boring.
And sure, some people who struggle with STEM have actual learning disabilities that make it difficult if not impossible to process basic math operations. I don’t mean to throw those people under the bus here. But nearly every person I’ve met who’s said they’re “just not a math/science person” was actually, like, fine at it. They were just taught it terribly. I remember my mom complaining about how she was taught trigonometric ratios and had no idea what they could ever be used for, then proceeded to have her mind blown when I explained that they can directly measure gravity on a slope. You really don’t need to be an intellectual to learn math/science, you just need to be properly told what the hell you’re doing and why.
The needlessly stressful grading system also plays a huge part in discouraging people, frankly. Mistakes related to number-crunching details (ie: forgetting a minus sign) have very little to do with how well you understand the concepts, and time constraints make it worse. And some teachers are just straight up assholes who will give you a 0 for not showing your work exactly the way they want even if you clearly show enough to prove you understand the concepts (forever holding a grudge against my calculus I professor for this). None of this means you’re bad at math. Hell, I’m good at math but still don’t get, like, super amazing grades.
And it sucks that so many people get taught badly and then discouraged, because honestly? Math and science are cool as shit. Math is literally the language of the physical world, and once you learn enough to really start broadening your understanding, it will come up in ways you never could have expected (my physics coursework once saved an entire batch of pasta, I am dead serious). And the scientific method itself is applicable to all avenues of life. Seriously, if nothing else, learn how to not only cite sources, but vet their credibility.
And look, okay, I’m not gonna force you to do something you hate. But the problem is that STEM subjects come up all the time in life, and so many people don’t know how to engage with them properly. This is how you get pseudoscience MLMs, or faulty studies that get disseminated to push political agendas. Or on a more mundane level, why billions of people around the world use the internet every day and don’t know the first thing about cybersecurity. People want the security of a strong scientific grounding, but aren’t independently driven or encouraged to engage with the subject properly.
And yeah, I think we do need to restructure STEM education from the ground up, but broadly my point is this: if you’re living in a country that speaks a language you don’t understand, it’s generally advisable to try to learn as much of that language as possible. We all live in the physical world. We all use technology. Why are we so content to rely on other people to be our interpretors?
(obligatory khanacademy plug in case I’ve struck a nerve with anyone reading--great resource to brush up on subjects completely free! I would not have been able to pass calculus without it lmao)
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theringers · 3 years
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V-card anon: hi sorry about that first ask i kinda went into a fugue state (spelling?) altered state of reality maybe when i wrote that and damn near outlined a fic in your inbox
The way we played hot seat was either part of a larger drinking game when a certain card was pulled from a deck, or just on it's own. You sit in a circle, everyone has a drink, usually a beer or cider. In the card pull version, the one who pulls the card gets asked a question by every person playing and if they refuse to answer they drink from their drink. In the standalone, you do that but everyone gets a turn being asked until people get bored and leave. Fun way to find out shit about people. Usually the unwritten rule is that you can't lie. I imagine everyone sitting on shitty chouches and chairs in a semi circle around a table full of cups and bottles playing it
Questions i have been asked: are you a top or bottom? Do you like anal? Wheres the weirdest place you've fucked? Body count? Favorite position (sexual)? Fuck marry kill/ignore people in this room (EVERY TIME I PLAYED I GOT THIS QUESTION)? Tits or ass or other? Favorite non sexual body part ex. Thigh? Ideal fuck buddy? Sex regrets? Etc
Also more weird details i have head cannoned out for some drivers and most likely does not fit with irl personalities, do with this what you will, use it or don't i just have feelings. Also everyone is like compressed in age to like 20-27ish except for some of the grid who i will just think of as younger alumns who come back:
Danny R: social chair, owns a jeep he takes the doors off of in the summer, walks girls home at night to make sure they're ok, tries to DJ house events and is rebuffed by literally everyone, has like 30 pairs of vans you trip over in his room, stolen roadsigns everywhere, masters in something arigcultural or physiological, cutoff frat shirts for days, fuckboy but nice, a bit cringe, will drive around with you at night so you can scream, met reader bc she had a band tee on and wanted to talk to her about it (no gatekeeping)
Charles: some kind of engineering or math degree but no one has any idea how the fuck he's gotten so far, 4.0 never studies, games with other house members, will show up at events randomly you will have no idea how he gets on your couch but he is there, the best and worst taste in clothes, is the only one allowed to play the piano in the house, sweet, cannot help you with studies but is always down for helping you out after, has to be reminded to clean stuff, disaster bi, reader met his gf first and they probably met through that
Pierre: good fashion and music taste, shirt is gone halfway through the night, also fuckboy but wholesome, actually studies, plays a sport for sure probably soccer in some way either club or Division he's too good for rec, will hold your hair back so you can throw up, will tell you your outfit sucks, good at math, also part of the squad that games, econ major, workout buddies with reader anday have taken a math class together
Max: is part of the hockey team he will go pro, also actually studies, got into gaming because of Charles, has the nicest car, is serious until he gets a couple drinks in him, he and Daniel are close and roomed together at some point, owns like 30 sets of the same outfit a white tee and jeans, knows reader through Dan and they get dragged by him to some of the same stuff
Lando: is a pledge or new member his big is Carlos, undeclared major, just happy to be here, gaming squad, used to play lacrosse or something equally obscure, king of knowing where the good snacks are, weirdly good at beer pong, growing into a fuckboy wholesomeness level tbd, probably sweet with reader as she helped him through a blackout or something, met her because she's basically house mom for some of the new boys (the kind of mom who will teach you to do laundry or iron ONCE)
Carlos: hockey flow but does not play hockey, actually studies and is smarter than what people give him credit for, came from a private high school and uni really opened his horizons, also good study buddy, gets along with most people, goes to office hours the most out of the actually studies gang, fun at parties, owns the frat dogs, he and reader met at Office hours (they were the only students) and found they had mutual friends too
Lewis: is/was president of frat, great grades greater bod, did full evolution from fuckboy to good man, has the back tests and the moral support, up for late noght talks about life, definitely was a D1 athlete, best fashion game, implemented no hazing policy, fits into notable alum or PhD category
Mick: undergrad like Lando, also plays soccer or something, too sweet, also walks girls home/holds your hair back etc, cleans parts of the house that aren't his responsibility, higher alcohol tolerance than you expect, everyone is bizarrely protective of him, legacy member (his dad was a legend), drives a motorbike around campus and can't decide between law and psychology, actually studies, met reader through the frat and she would die for him, brings her to class on the bike sometimes because the bike is faster
George: business major, frat treasurer, three ring binder business casual in class kind of guy, nice enough, shirt comes off when drunk, runs marathons and a podcast about investments, best notes in the game and great study partner, actually studies, is drinking monster at 6AM but not because he stayed up late, he and reader met through the frat and sometimes drink wine and bitch together
Lance: hockey player, legacy member, studies sometimes, sarcasm on point, great at stack cup, very chill, knows every good nap spot on campus, also has high alcohol tolerance, is the kind of person who does well in the cold but does not like it, wears headphones so people don't talk to him, great one on one but not in crowds, business major and minor in computer science, probably also met thru Lance's gf but vibe as more introverted people and will cover for each other if one does not want to go out
Nicky: a good boy, part of the walks people home squad, sets up designated drivers for parties, good snack game, future in medical field, good listener, pretty good study buddy, midnight snack enabler, met reader through frat and his gf he and reader are on babysitting duty together sometimes when others get too drunk/high
Yuki: also a pledge or new, majoring in games or computer science as they gave me the same energy as him, games squad, bit of a mad lad, has several stolen street signs, good, met reader through frat and Yuki is the only one patient enough to explain some games to reader, they cuss people out on mic
Esteban: good man, has a full ride scholarship, actually studies, also good study buddy, Dan's little, plays soccer but maybe on a rec team because he prioritizes school, very sweet guy as well, probably chose a really practical major/dual major, met reader through Dan and are also dragged similar places by him
Antonio: manbun, philosophy or classics major possibly business dual, generally good natured but can be seen supplying his own wine at parties, used to be really into metal but kept the hair, does not know that people find him attractive, soccer boi, met reader through frat and she's the only one who will (pretend) to listen to him rant about philosophy
Alex Albon: another full scholarship guy, somehow gets along with everyone, switched majors due to an asshole professor, electrical engineering or computer engineering, actually studies, helps with frat pets,will show you pictures of his cats at home, sweetie, another contender for will hold your hair or walk you home, probably met reader through a class or club and found they had mutual friends and that reader is friends with his gf
Notable alums:
Checo - dad, successful in finance somehow (he looks like an really successful accountant of CFO to me idk why)
Kimi - dad but people forget he is, holds the record for most drinks in 24 hours that will never be come close to by anyone else, shows up on random alum weekends with 2 kegs, legally cannot tell you what he does or he would actually have to murder you
Valterri - was good at a sport when he was there, now a very effective lead engineer at an architectural firm
Seb - environmental or mechanical engineering, all around good guy with someone the best grades in frat history
Alonso - legendary for sexual exploits (consensual)
Anyone I put as actually studies is probably the type reader would hang around for more serious stuff/schoolwork and would probably be closer to, with the exception of Dan bc I feel like he'd be like we're friends now :)) we shall hang or Charles bc he will just show up. I also imagine she has a pretty good friendship with any existing gf, however if a driver does have a gf and he is the love interest sorry bb girl u gotta go for the purposes of this fic
Sorry this is so long hahaaaaaaa glad you liked my Charles thoughts ilu
i honestly wasn’t going to share this like the rest of the anon asks i’ve gotten that i keep close to my heart but this was just too good to keep to myself.
LOOK! AT! THIS!
f1 drivers as frat bros/college students headcannon
i’m writing a series - each “chapter” will be a smut with a different frat bro and i’m hoping to post a sneak peek this week some time but here’s something to hold you over and give you some ideas
to my vcard anon - i appreciate this so much. my inbox is always open for ur thoughts bc they are SO GOOD !! can’t wait for you to read the first part of the series bby
PS if some of this doesn’t make sense to u feel free to send in asks (i know a lot of this is focused on american college culture so if u don’t get it i’m happy to explain)
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kulaykape · 4 years
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Ina Kingsley x MC
Left Turns & Parallel Parking
A lil' one shot while I take a break from writing my mini-series. I wanted to get Lilian involved a little bit, but I'm still fleshing out her character, so I don't know what I'm going for with her yet.
I went along with @jenxespinoza's idea of Lilian being a neurosurgeon, which is briefly alluded to. And imma tag @sakaily bc they asked 😂😂 enjoy!
•••
"I'm really happy you came with Ina to see us, Ali," Lilian said as she and Aliyah walked to the parking lot, "Charlotte's been wanting to see Leon again for a while."
Aliyah smiled brightly. This was so domestic that it was disgusting… and she loved it. "No prob. Charlotte'll be a good big sister if you ever have another kid, by the way. Leon already likes her more than me," she replied. Which, ouch. But understandable, given Aliyah was 17 years older than him.
Lilian chuckled. "I'm sure he knows there's no replacing the person that raised him," she consoled, "I can't imagine how hard it was to, though. I had Charlotte my junior year of college, but you were 19 when you got custody of him?"
A frown ticked at Aliyah's lips, but she played it off and nodded. "Yeah. It was a whole… thing," she chuckled weakly.
'A whole thing' meaning dear ol' mom and her new man had damn near assaulted Aliyah after the trial. A quick follow-up for a restraining order was subsequent.
As Aliyah was starting to realize how wild her life was, 'cause holy shit, she and Lilian got to the parking lot. Ina had said she'd load the kids into Aliyah's car while the two of them finished cleaning up in Lilian's apartment.
"So where are we headed?" Aliyah asked.
Lilian hummed, a mannerism that Ina also had before answering any question. "Wherever the kids want to eat, I guess," she answered, "Thank god you drove here. I'm not partial to taking the subway with this many people in our group."
"Hm? Oh, no, Ina drove," Aliyah said as she pushed the metal door open with a loud squeal, "I don't usually let people drive Alicia around, but I consider it a stepping stone in a relationship." She smiled amusedly.
Ina had been curious as to why Aliyah's car was named after another woman, and since Aliyah gave her explanation, has developed an unreasonable jealousy of Alicia Keys.
Lilian stopped in her tracks while Aliyah continued walking towards her black sedan, engine already rumbling quietly a few yards away. "Wait, what?"
Aliyah turned to look back at Lilian, hands stuffed in her pockets. "What?" She asked, equally confused.
"You let- hold on," Lilian stalked towards the car and nearly had a stroke when she found none other than big sister dearest behind the wheel. Lilian knocked on the window of the passenger side and Ina lowered it as she began to sweat.
Lilian leaned through the now open window, and in her mom voice, said plainly, "No."
"Lil-"
"No, Ina. Not in a million years."
Aliyah shot a questioning look to Charlotte, who was sitting in the back with Leon. The seven year-old shrugged. "Uh… you want me to drive?"
"Yes."
"No. I drove here, I can drive us to the restaurant."
"We're getting McDonald's!" Charlotte called.
Ina looked into the backseat, frowning. "Are you sure? I was hoping we could get something a little more filling," she said, "What about you, Leon?"
"McDonald's," the five year-old proclaimed.
"McDonald's, Olive Garden, or Gordon Ramsey's restaurant, you are not driving us there," Lilian cut in. Aliyah opened her mouth to try and defend Ina, but Lilian's wrath was actually unnerving her.
"It's fine, Lilian," Ina insisted, the stubborn ass.
Lilian looked back at Aliyah, wordlessly begging her to take her side.
Aliyah, with her mouth hung open like a fish, was speechless. Should she side with Lilian and just drive to McDonald's, and then risk her girlfriend getting upset at her? Or should she side with Ina and then feel the wrath of a very protective mother?
"Uh…"
Unfortunately, decisiveness isn't one of Aliyah's strengths.
"Lilian, the last time you were in a car with me was years ago," Ina said, "I can drive just fine now."
Lilian let out a groan as she (very) reluctantly started to open the passenger door. "We're all going to die."
"Ah," Ina stopped her, a shadow of a smirk on her face and her finger held up, "You should sit in the back with the kids."
The younger sister's jaw dropped as Aliyah wheezed behind her. "You are the pettiest person I know, Ina Kingsley!" She exclaimed as she moved to the back seat instead, looking at Aliyah, "Make sure she doesn't get us all killed, please."
"Was she really that bad?" Aliyah asked, "I mean, she got us here just fine."
Lilian shuddered as a memory rolled over her, and she shook her head. "I'll tell you in the car," she replied, "Oh lord…"
Aliyah shrugged, before reopening the passenger door and smiling at Ina as she climbed in. "Hey, babe," she greeted, leaning forward to peck the Professor's cheek. Charlotte and Leon gagged dramatically. "Don't kill us all, okay?" Aliyah asked, patting Ina's cheek sardonically.
"I'll try my best," Ina replied with a chuckle as she switched gears and started pulling out of the parking garage, Lilian watching her like a hawk the entire way through. Ina glanced up at the rear view mirror, and stuck her tongue out at her little sister.
The car was quiet for a few moments on the road, save for the good-natured bickering between Charlotte and Leon (they were gonna be a trip when they were older, all the adults could tell). Lilian was silently trying to not have a heart attack in the backseat, and also not to think about Ina's nightmarish track record.
Traffic had begun to build up (it was New York, duh) and Ina slowly rolled to a stop behind the car in front of her. Lilian flinched nonetheless. "Ina!"
Aliyah tried not to snort as an exasperated look passed over Ina's face. "You're fine," she replied flippantly.
"Hm, funny, I remember you saying those exact words after you'd rammed mom's sedan into a light post," Lilian retorted, "And might I remind you, I was very much not fine."
This time, Aliyah couldn't help but guffaw. "You crashed into a light post?" Ina's face flushed red, and she kept her eyes stubbornly on the road.
"It was horrible," Lilian said. Ina's eyes met hers in the rear view mirror, silently begging her 'no'. Lilian smirked evilly. "And the worst part was, there was absolutely no reason for her to crash."
"Lilian-"
"It was like that one scene from Bob's Burgers where Tina slowly crashes into another car."
Aliyah guffawed once again, leaning her head on the dashboard while Ina seethed silently. Aliyah's shoulders shook as she sat upright once again, giving Ina the most shit-eating grin she had ever seen on her (which was saying a lot).
"You know, just 'cause you're a lesbian doesn't mean you have to try and embody every stereotype," Aliyah quipped, causing Lilian to snicker while Ina let out a sigh, "Also, that is the lamest stereotype you could've chosen."
"Wait, aunt Ina's lame?" Charlotte piped up. Ina made a sound like she was in pain.
Aliyah turned back in her seat, nodded, and mouthed 'yes' at the littlest Kingsley.
Something not unlike a low growl left the Professor's body as the light turned green and she realized she was babysitting children. She ignored both of the younger "adult" women in the car while they high-fived, and drove on.
With a flick of her wrist, Ina turned the left signal on and merged into the turning lane. She blew a shaky breath out of her lips that didn't go unnoticed by neither her sister nor girlfriend. Both looked suspiciously at her.
"What is it?" Lilian asked, voice shrouded in sweetness but actually lowkey very threatening.
Ina's eyes flicked to both of them for a moment then back to the road. "I… may not be particularly deft when it comes to left turns," she admitted.
"What, we didn't make any left turns on the way to her apartment?" Aliyah asked. Ina shook her head. Aliyah sighed. "Well, just make sure you turn the wheel in the right direction. Right meaning left. You know what I mean."
"Thank you, Ali," Ina said dryly.
"Of course, babe."
Leon squeezed his nose so his voice sounded nasally and high-pitched. "Of course, babe."
Aliyah threw her head back and laughed just as Ina started to make the turn, and doink.
"Ow! Jesus Christ, Ina!" Aliyah cradled the right side of her head after it bounced off the window from the sharpness of Ina's turn. Ina winced harshly while Leon started to snicker (Charlotte had the compassion to try and not to).
"Shit! I'm so sorry Ali, are you okay?" Ina reached a hand out to squeeze Aliyah's knee, but Aliyah scrambled to take it off and put it back on the wheel.
"Both hands on the wheel!" She exclaimed sternly. Ina shrank away sheepishly while Aliyah continued to rub her head.
"Good job Ina, you almost gave your girlfriend a concussion," Lilian quipped.
"You're next, Lilian Kingsley," was Ina's immediate reply. And Lilian knew damn well that her big sister didn't play around, so she stifled a very smart reply.
---
"Can we play music?" Charlotte asked once they were halfway to wherever the hell they were going, 'cause Aliyah was pretty sure they'd passed three different McDonald's by now.
"Sure, kiddo," Aliyah said as she grabbed the aux cord, "What do you want me to play?"
"Taylor Swift!" She exclaimed. Aliyah nodded (albeit a little reluctantly) and started to scroll through the infinite songs in her playlist.
"No, Eminem!" Leon said.
Aliyah threw her little brother a look as Ina and Lilian started to laugh. "The heck do you mean Eminem?" She demanded. The little boy shrank away sheepishly. Aliyah put on her stern voice. Not quite as good as Lilian's, but it'd do. "Leon, what've you been listening to?"
"Uh… Eminem?" Aliyah huffed before turning around and continuing to look for Taylor Swift on her playlist.
"What's your favorite song by Eminem, Leon?" Ina asked. Aliyah gave her an unappreciative look.
"Real Slim Shady!"
"Oh god," Lilian covered her face as she started to shake with laughter.
Leon and Charlotte started to chant the chorus to Real Slim Shady- and Aliyah was praying that was all they knew- while Aliyah scrolled furiously through her playlist. Ina tapped Aliyah's arm before she could get to the Tay-Tay portion of her playlist.
"Play Queen," Ina asked quietly.
"The kids aren't gonna like Queen," Aliyah replied.
"They need to learn culture," Ina retorted.
"If you want them to learn culture, then why are you asking for Queen?" Lilian said. Ina gasped as if her sister had just twisted a knife in her side. Aliyah nodded in agreement.
"You too?" Ina said, incredulous, "But you're a musician!"
"And you're an anthropologist," Aliyah said, unblinking, while Lilian laughed at her sister's expense. "You can talk about bones, and Neanderthals, and old sticks all you want, but I don't think music is your strong suit," she added with a smirk.
"Old sticks?" Ina repeated, this close to giving up on life, "What is it that you think my career entails again?"
"Old sticks," Aliyah said once again without missing a beat, "Like the ones at the museum you showed us."
"Those were the remnants of spears from the Middle Paleolithic era!" Ina exclaimed defensively. Aliyah tried not to let a guilty smile sneak onto her face, because the nerd in her had thoroughly enjoyed the impromptu date at the museum. But harassing Ina was still her favorite past time.
"You know, as far as I'm concerned, Lilian's the only real doctor in this car," Aliyah said, and Ina practically vibrated with irritation.
"Aw, that's very sweet of you, Ali," Lilian said. She was very familiar with the 'harass Ina until she pops a blood vessel' game, and she and Aliyah did a mental fist bump.
"But I thought aunt Ina's a doctor too," Charlotte said, thoroughly confused and have since forgotten about her music.
"I am a doctor," Ina huffed grumpily. 
“A doctor of old sticks,” Lilian said. Ina pursed her lips and stayed very silent. 
Aliyah squeezed Ina's arm as she started to shake with laughter. "Babe, we're just joking," she said. Ina threw her an unreadable look, before giving the brake pedal momentary a push. Aliyah jerked forward with a yelp while Lilian nearly screeched. The kids laughed, enjoying the rollercoaster simulation.
"Ina!" Lilian snapped.
"That's what you two get," she said simply, with the biggest, winningest smirk on her face as she drove on. The two of them grumbled nervously as Ina continued her drive down the highway, mentally brushing off her shoulders.
"Are we at McDonald's yeeeet?" Charlotte asked, "I'm hungry. I want nuggies."
"Nuggies won't fill you up," Ina replied, and Aliyah couldn't help but snort at Ina using the word 'nuggies'. "We're going to a restaurant on Fifth."
"…do they have nuggies?"
Ina sighed. "Charlotte, don't you want to eat something a little more… fulfilling than chicken nuggets?" She asked, "And what if Leon doesn't-"
"I want nuggies too," Leon chimed.
"Yeah, me too," Aliyah said. Ina glared at her and she began to snicker. "Okay, okay, just get us there, Professor." While the kids groaned in disappointment Ina switched gears into sixth and sped down the highway.
Eventually, they got onto Fifth Street, and back into the heavy congestion of the main roads. It was times like this that Aliyah missed growing up further down south, where you could actually drive instead of just starting and stopping every second.
Ina started to slow down by the sidewalk, next to a building with its name written in big, cursive, neon letters. Charlotte gasped dramatically. "I know this place! They have a chocolate fountain!" At that revelation, Leon started to grin as well. Ina smiled privately to herself as she rolled to a stop next to a parking spot.
Aliyah looked at her. "You know you have to park in the spot, right?" She quipped. Ina nodded.
"Yes, I'm aware," she let out a sigh and Aliyah's stomach dropped.
"...You can't parallel park either, can you?"
"How hard can it be?"
"Extremely, actually," Lilian interjected, "Aliyah, maybe you should-" Aliyah had already moved to open her door, but Ina stopped her.
"Stay in the car, I can do this," Ina said, the determination and pride riding on all of this in her voice. Aliyah found it ridiculous, and it showed in her face.
"Ina, if you dent my car," Aliyah switched to Spanish so that the kids couldn't understand, "No sex for a month." Lilian guffawed as Ina winced.
Charlotte cocked a brow in hilarious Kingsley fashion. "What'd she say, mama?" She turned to Lilian.
"Erm… she said that she won't let aunt Ina drive again," Lilian said, still snickering.
Ina breathed out a slow breath, trying her best to ignore Aliyah's steel gaze on her as she switched into reverse. There was a significant amount of room for her to work with between the two cars, but she didn't exactly have a driving record that inspired confidence.
She made damn sure that her glasses weren't going to fall off her face as she slowly started to back in, hands clenching the wheel tightly.
"Aunt Ina, are you okay?" Charlotte asked, causing Ina to jolt, "You look… uh… constipated." Aliyah once again found herself leaning her head against the dashboard while Ina's face flushed red.
"I'm fine, Charlotte," she said patiently, before refocusing on the parking spot. After a few more tense moments of an anxiety-ridden Ina and some death-staring from Lilian, the car was sitting nearly in the parking spot.
Ina took the key out of the ignition with a triumphant smile while Leon and Charlotte whooped (about the food, of course). "Wow. We're alive," Lilian said, grinning as she patted Ina's shoulder, "Aside from nearly giving Aliyah a concussion, not bad, sis." And in spite of the ever-apparent snark, Ina could hear a hint of pride in Lilian's voice. "I'll go take the kids inside," she added with a wink, before starting to load the kids out.
Aliyah chuckled as she watched Charlotte and Leon Naruto-run into the restaurant, Lilian trailing behind them. She reached over and squeezed Ina's hand, and the Professor turned to look at her just in time to catch a cheeky kiss squarely on her jaw.
"Ah!" She yelped with a chuckle, "I take it your ultimatum has been null and voided?"
"Honestly, I probably wouldn't have been able to uphold it," Aliyah said as she kissed Ina's nose, watching in amusement as it scrunched up, "But just so you know, I am driving us home."
Ina deflated in relief. "Thank god. I think I lost five years of my life just from this drive," she said. Aliyah chuckled as she squeezed Ina's thigh sympathetically. "Is your head okay? I'm so sorry about that…"
"It's fine," Aliyah said, rubbing her head subconsciously, "But you need to slow the hell down on those turns."
Ina nodded. "Noted for the next time I drive. Which will be in another few years," she smiled as Aliyah laughed, and leaned forward to catch her lips in a gentle kiss. "I'm sorry for being stubborn," she murmured against Aliyah's mouth, "I had to prove a point to Lilian."
Aliyah rolled her eyes as she tugged on Ina's lip playfully. "You're stubbornness almost earned me a concussion, but we're not gonna talk about that," Aliyah said as she gave Ina one more enthusiastic kiss on the lips, "Now c'mon. You drove us all the way here, let's go eat." Ina smiled as she got out of the car, and the two of them walked towards the restaurant, hand in hand.
~end~
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el-im · 3 years
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im putting all the things ive been meaning to write posts about into one single item because i am feeling Very Observed lately and i figure with it being as early as it is that hopefully this wont show up on some peoples dashes by the time they get around to pulling up tumblr today. 
first of all heres a photo dump and some captions
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from when i texted charlie my images of the sisko card, which i was really hoping he’d like
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a smiley face on my coffee 
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i was gonna make a gender joke here bc the longer i looked at these before n after pinning back my hair pictures the more i was like ‘oh we just flipped gender presentation like a lightswitch huh’ but that was not funny and i am not funny and I wish i were but im not and its kind of a >:( fact thats been bugging me lately. 
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from mom, yesterday, who dropped off one for me, one for nick, one for mia, and one for abe. i was expecting this to be the only thing i got/heads up/message on valentines day but i woke up this morning to find that aub had sent me a playlist that i looked at but havent listened to yet (because im trying to order my responses to things in increasing complexity and time--i responded to the tik toks elanor sent me first, them had a look at the star trek document that joe sent me and commented on the questions he asked without giving away spoilers, and am now making this post, which ive been meaning to make, and will then maybe try to listen to the playlist and then respond to michelle’s email) 
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these are joes thoughts from some ds9 episodes. initially, i’d sent him a list of ‘best’  episodes (my favorites AND the eps i thought were most emblematic of ds9′s issues--bajor’s relationship with cardassia, trill relationships, etc) hoping that he’d be able to see the merit of the show, but he insisted on re-watching the first episode before he started working on the list because he’d only seen it once a long time ago, and then, after watching ep 1 and captive pursuit (with tosk) decided that he’d try to watch the full first season, especially after i expressed my dismay at realizing he wouldn’t get the chronological introduction to garak bc ep 3 wasnt on my list of best episodes. anyway. he showed me this list of written reactions after watching ep 1 and captive pursuit and it made me so happy he decided he’d keep doing it, which i insisted wasn’t necessary because it seems to me like a lot of work (and which i still feel guilty about) but he was like told me that he’d only seldom seen me as happy as i was upon reading that and it was something little he could do to foster that joy which.. makes my heart crack in two). 
anyway. the real reason i started this post was because ive been up in arms for the past few days about mia and covid. 
speaking of which. 
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baby ‘passed’ first covid test. that arrow on the side is the minimized player where im watching nemesis. hah. 
anyway. 
to make a longer story short, my (pregnant!!!) sister decided, stupidly, to go with her boyfriend abe, a sound engineer, to a broadcast stage he was setting up in california, because she has a liver condition that appeared during her pregnancy which makes giving birth difficult (which is emotionally challenging for her because she had always wanted to do an at-home birth without drugs) and in fact, is a condition which typically leads to the birth having to be induced early, which means, at this point in development, that she could potentially need to have the child at any time. she went with him because she didn’t want to be without him if the baby needed to come. she was there for a week, with the both of them feeling sick all the while, and then came home early without abe because she felt bad and wasnt having fun, eventually getting a ride from my mother (who lives with my grandmother and great aunt, 93 and 86 respectively) back home from the airport (she took a PLANE!?). anyway. at our insistence, she was tested the same day she got home. she was reluctant to do it because she ‘didn’t think she had it’ and figured that it was ‘just the flu, honestly’ as if she had any way of knowing that???? in the day she was waiting for her test results, she came out of her room multiple times without a mask on, walking around the kitchen or playing with the dogs, even though we told her to stay in her room (and had brought her food/hot tea/whatever else she needed). she had no reason to come out when she was 1. sick and 2. not quite sure if she had covid or not
anyway. her test came back positive so she was trying to ‘stay in her room’, which lasted for.. not even a day. nick and i, who hadn’t seen either of them in a week, but had been around each other, got tests. we (as pictured) both got negative results, so mia must have gotten it in california rather than from someone we’d all seen (like nick and mia’s dad or stepmother earlier in the month) 
abe came home soon after and had taken two rapid tests when he landed, but then, when coming home, immediately was sitting in the same room as my sister, without a mask on. he slept outside in our ‘arizona room’--a screened in patio with a futon in it for the first night. when his results came back (as negative), he decided that he was fine to be in the house, so wouldn’t wear a mask in the kitchen or in the living room, (something nick and i both did) AND would also be in the same room as my sister for long periods of time. i’d like to think he was wearing a mask in there, but i can’t be sure. he was playing video games in their shared room where mia was watching tv, as long as he (AND I QUOTE) ‘stayed in his corner’. it’s a ten by ten room at most. there’s no way that staying in there, even with a mask on, for as long as he did was a smart option. so... to reiterate. abe was in a room with my sister, who has covid, for a long period of time, and then wouldn’t wear a mask when in the common areas that everyone uses. which is... great right
and the thing thats been annoying me for these last couple of days in particular, ASIDE from all the dumb shit they’ve done up to this point, is that mia says abe needs to bring her food (valid) and YET mia is always in the kitchen (which doesn’t make sense). i was in the kitchen preparing a meal the other day and she came out to refill her water. which, if abe was functioning SOLELY to bring her things, as she was insisting, would not have warranted her coming out of her room. it was the middle of the day. she could have said she needed water and left her cup by the door and i could have refilled it and brought it back.... but she didn’t. i was wearing two masks (a cloth one over a medial grade one) but was still wary about her being there--because I was making food. i told her to get out of the kitchen because she’d finished getting her water, but she said ‘just a minute!!’ and continued, not three feet away from me, trying to pick up one of the dogs and playing with her. i kept telling her to go back to her room but she was acting as though i was being rude and being completely unreasonable??? she takes every request we make for her to stay away from us as a personal attack, like we don’t want to see her or be around her, instead of us trying to protect ourselves from covid?? 
THEN the fun part is after all this, abe sets up an inflatable mattress in the office (which is :) right :) next :) to my room) because he decides he doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as mia (reasonable) despite having been occupying the same room as mia for hours (STUPID). so now abe is using the hall bathroom, which nick and i use/shower in/brush our teeth in. before, abe had been using mia’s bathroom off the bedroom, and, again, had been sleeping in there. so now, if abe DID catch it from mia, which is likely, at this point, he’d going to give it to nick and i.
nick and i were upset about this, and told mia last night that she needed to stay in her room. that was how people quarantined. that is how you quarantine. you do not leave your room for ANY reason, especially if you have 1. MULTIPLE PEOPLE CAPABLE AND WILLING TO BRING YOU FOOD AT ANY TIME OF DAY and 2. A BATHROOM THAT CONNECTS TO YOUR ROOM. she came out and started yelling at us about abe, though neither of us wanted to fight with her (and there was no reason to fight about something we were CLEARLY right about). she said ‘YOU CANT HAVE IT BOTH WAYS’ which meant that abe can’t not use the livingroom and the hall bathroom (which we were saying he shouldnt do) and that he can’t be in quarantine with mia (stay with her in her room) but the thing is.... BECAUSE he has spent so much time with her, and because they weren't wearing masks when they were outside and BECAUSE he spent hours playing video games in the room that my sister has been quarantined in for a whopping two days--he now shouldnt ALSO be using our bathroom, because now we can get sick. (and probably fucking will!!!!) she is having him now stay in the office and use our bathroom (GREAT) instead of just biting the bullet and staying with her because he ALREADY HAD BEEN staying with her 
and now they are both in the kitchen :)! i can hear them from my room. great. 
anyway here r some sketches that i never uploaded before cause theyre hideous but im putting here because i hope to fuck no one actually reads this/scrolls down this far
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ljandersen · 4 years
Text
Heart to Heart
Pairing:  FemShep/Kaidan Alenko, ME-3 Word Count:  2300 Summary:  Kaidan shares how his father looped him into joining the Alliance.
____________________________
Shepard gazed up at Kaidan.  He stroked her hair idly, his eyes fixed on the observation window.  She was starting to feel sleepy again.  Her heart beat slow and hard to the rhythmic brush of his fingertips on her temple.  With her head on Kaidan’s lap and the stars glittering before them, it couldn’t get more peaceful on a military vessel.  But time was ticking down.  Each breath was one less separating Now from the End.  There was so much more she wanted to do with him.  To know.  She was wasting time dozing and not finding out.  Shepard sat up abruptly.
“You all right?” he asked.
“What did you want to be when you grew up?”
“What?”
“We ever end up on a couples’ game show, I need to know the basics.”  Shepard twisted to face him and folded her legs on the bench.   “Don’t hold out on me.  What did you want to be?”
“What did you want to be?”
“Make me go first, huh?”  Shepard pulled his hand into her lap.  “ Fine.  What did I want to be when I grew up?  Well, not a farmer.  Not a biologist or ecosystem engineer.”  Shepard ran her thumb nail along the side of Kaidan’s finger.  “I didn’t know what I wanted to be.  I only knew I wanted to be in charge.”
Kaidan’s smile stretched.  “Had your calling young.”
“Ha, yeah, I guess.”  Shepard considered the idea.  “When I think about it, I could have gone a lot of different ways.  Could have ended up commanding a ship of pirates or smugglers, being in charge of a team of Terminus System mercs.  Who knows?  But instead, fate put me on the straight and narrow.”
“Fate?  Or you realized the good you could do by joining the Alliance?”
“You know something,” Shepard said.  “When I saw the Alliance fight on Mindoir, I wanted to fight alongside them.  I knew right then.  I had this feeling, I should be a part of it.  I thought it was so I could make the bastards pay who did things like that.  But I was wrong.  It wasn’t about that.  It was so I could be the one who got there sooner than help came for me.  It was about helping the helpless, not killing the worthless.  I wanted my family back.  Wanted what happened to them to mean something bigger by my actions going forward.  But it wasn’t dealing death like I thought, it was saving life.  That gave meaning to it.  Gave me meaning.”
Kaidan touched her cheek.  “Shepard, your family would be amazed what you’ve done.  You’ve made them proud a hundred times over.”
Shepard’s lips tickled with the beginning of a smile.  She kissed her palm.  
“What about you?” she said.  “Your dad was military.  This is what you always wanted to do?”
“After what happened at Brain Camp?  No.”  Kaidan’s fingertips traced down her jaw.  He covered their hands with his palm again.  “I always liked tech.  I majored in engineering at the university in Vancouver.  I think I’ve told you that.”
“Engineer Alenko?”  Shepard cocked her head with a soft smile.  “You wanted to map power grids and design Omni-Tools?”
“Something a little more exotic maybe.  Off world.  There were companies that contracted all over space, colonies or urban worlds.  Variety of tech systems, challenging, a lot of movement and chance to see things.  Opportunities to be on the edge of the unknown connecting comm systems and terra forming energy platforms.”
“Not a bad gig.”
“I didn’t think so.  The right company, I could be working with interspecies engineers, learning with new technologies, applying outside ideas.  See the galaxy, the cultures, the worlds.”
“Then what happened?”
“Well …”  Kaidan drew his hands away and fidgeted with the boot propped on his knee.  “After Jump Zero and everything that happened, you can probably guess.  I didn’t know what to do with that part of myself.  I wanted to be normal.  I enrolled in the engineering program at VU.  As students failed and dropped out of the program, the ones of us who pulled through became close.  By the third year, we left the engineering dorms.  We roomed together in a large house on the edge of campus.  We studied together, went out together.  I even stayed with some of their families.”
Kaidan rolled the boot lace between his fingertips.  Shepard shifted on the bench and waited.
“And?” she prompted softly.
Kaidan hesitated but met her eyes.  “The summer after our third year, there was an applied internship program.  Prestigious, competitive.  Teams submitted grant applications and project binders.  GPA, extracurriculars, interviews.  Our team was one of the teams selected.  There were ten of us working on the project proposal.  We all moved to Boston for the summer and first part of the fourth semester.”
“Something went wrong with your project?”
“No.”  Kaidan chewed the corner of his lip then sighed.  “Four months into the internship in Boston, I was at the lab.  We all were.  We were starting to get into the software application, running tests, joking around.  I can’t even remember.  Men showed up for me.”
“Men?”
Kaidan leaned an elbow on the back of the bench and touched his forehead.  “I forgot to register.  Forgot to inform the Bureau I changed residences, left the BC area.  The Biotic Registration Bureau had tracked me down.  They showed up at the lab since they didn’t know where I was staying.”
“They made a scene?” Shepard ventured.
“They were polite enough, I guess.”  Kaidan eyed her for a moment, then sat up straight.  He cleared his throat.  “You see, I had never told anyone.  Told anyone I was a biotic.  Maybe they could have recognized it if they knew anything about biotics, but you know how it was, it was new.  I’d never met another biotic myself outside of Brain Camp.  It was rare, unknown, stigmatized.  I just wanted to be normal.  I felt like it shouldn’t matter.  I didn’t use my biotics.  I had good control, never flared.  It was like they didn’t exist, at least, from the outside.  Maybe I was in denial or caught up in being what I wanted to be instead of what I was, but either way, the result was the same.  The Biotics Registration Bureau showed up for me.  My friends, my best friends I’d done everything with for three years, they were shocked.”
Shepard reached over and gripped his forearm.  “They turned their back on you?  Because you were a biotic?” 
“They turned their backs on me, but not because I was a biotic.  What they might have thought of me being a biotic, I’ll never know.  I never gave them a chance to find out.  They rejected me, not because I was a biotic, but because for three years I never told them.”
“You weren’t lying.”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t telling the truth either.  We finished the project.  After the internship, I finished the fourth year by myself.  I saw them in class, but there wasn’t any going back.”
“You dropped out?”
“No,” Kaidan said sharply.  “Of course not.  I finished my degree.”
“But your plans to join a galactic tech company?”
“That last semester changed a lot of things.  My dad …” Kaidan grinned at the floor.  “My dad never quite gave up on the military angle.  More than his own experience, I think he knew what I couldn’t accept: that it was a place where my being different wasn’t a liability but an asset.  Where this part of myself I wanted to leave behind could actually be used for something good instead of just alienating me, scaring or hurting people.  I think he knew it was the best path for me to accept myself, even be proud of it.  I could belong somewhere, find meaning, help people, see the galaxy.  Really, in a lot of ways, the perfect fit.”
“Your dad brought it up to you again?”
“He’d never stopped, but that last semester he knew I was struggling.  I think he knew all his talk about the Alliance only made me dig my heels deeper.  I had said ‘no’ so long, it was almost on principal then.”  Kaidan laughed and rubbed his forehead.  “There was a chink in my armor now though.  I’d lost everything I thought I’d made since Jump Zero.  I felt lost again.
“My dad had a spur-of-the-moment errand with an Alliance chum one morning.  He’d picked me up from campus, a holiday or something.  I was already strapped in when he told me.  I swear he waited for the click of the seatbelt, then it was, ‘Oh, I just remembered.  Told Chisholm I’d drop by with his book while he’s in town training the incoming officers.’  We could both see through the story.  He knew I knew, but we just pretended.  I turned on my Omni-Tool and said, ‘Whatever.  Just roll a window down for me and don’t take forever.’”
Shepard chuckled and flicked his shoulder.  “Your stubborn streak is well worn, I see.”
“Went pretty deep.”  Kaidan laughed.  “But, uh, I think I come by it naturally.  My dad must have known what I’d say.  He said he had to return a book, but when we got to the academy, all of a sudden it was books.  Not two books or three books, boxes of books.  Five or six boxes stacked to the top.  I remember just standing there with the hatch up and muttering, ‘What the hell?’  I even started digging down and reading titles to make sure it wasn’t filler.  I expected to see my mom’s old harlequins or something else off the shelf from home, but it was all military-related.  He couldn’t haul in six boxes of books by himself, so I helped him.  Conveniently, we took a very winding and slow path to Chisholm’s classroom.  Dad kept pointing out different areas.  I kept saying, ‘Are we going in circles?  I’ve seen that plant before.’”
“And when you reached your dad’s friend?”
“What do you know, he’s in the middle of an applied skills class for sentinels.  Up to that moment, I didn’t even know sentinels existed, a fusion of tech and biotics.  I stood against the wall, sighed, and looked around a lot.  I shifted the boxes in my arms and checked the time.  But I didn’t forget what I saw.  Dad was ready with all sorts of scripted ‘off-the-cuff’ questions for Chisholm about his teaching, the officer’s academy, sentinels, biotics.  Dad introduced us.”
Shepard beamed at him.  “Got over your stubbornness?”
“Yeah, I mean, I took my time about it.  Couldn’t fold right away.  I looked into it, networked, met with some other biotic officers.  I swore Captain Chisholm to secrecy.  He agreed not to tell my dad, but let me audit a week of his classes.  Later, do you know what Chisholm told me?”
“What?”
“He said that morning, the morning I was picked up, my dad showed up to borrow Chisholm’s books.  He took the whole bookcase worth.  Even had a student haul it to the skycar with him.  That was 0900.  Then he picked me up at 0930.  We brought them straight back.  After I found that out, I didn’t feel nearly as bad taking my time.  When I had my paperwork in order, just needed to push the button, I went home for the weekend to tell him.”
“Your dad was probably thrilled.”
Kaidan grinned.  “I set down my bag, and Mom gave me a big hug.  When she stepped back, she asked if I’d heard back from the recruiter, then she slapped a hand over her mouth.  Turns out, Dad knew what I was doing the whole time.  I would have been mad, but I could see what it meant to him.  I was so fixated on avoiding an ‘I told you so’ and making clear it was my own decision, I never thought about it just making him proud.  He broke out the expensive whiskey from the top shelf.  Then we sat on the balcony, drank, and talked a long time.  
“A lot of things changed from that point out for me.  One of those things was with my dad.  Up to then, I was a kid.  An adult, but a kid in a lot of ways.  After I joined, things were different.  He was still my dad, of course.  I looked up to him, respected what he had to say, but we were friends too.  More equal footing.  I went from fighting him and trying to prove myself, to appreciating his advice.  I wanted his advice.  He could see what was better for me sometimes than I could see for myself.  Everything with the Alliance proved that.”
Air thickened in Shepard’s throat.  “I’m sorry he’s MIA, Kaidan.”
“I’m sorry about your family, too, Shepard.”
She fell forward and wrapped her arms around his neck.  He brushed the hair back from her face and kissed her lips.  She crawled over him.  He pulled back from the kiss with a tense laugh and looked over at the door.
“It’s almost morning, you know,” he said.
“Come upstairs with me.”  Shepard tugged him to his feet.  “You said you’re exactly where you want to be, right?”
“With you.” 
“I’m exactly where I want to be too.”  She grabbed his face with both hands.  “With you.  I don’t want your family ever reading those letters, but I’m glad you’re with me.  I need someone making me eggs.  You’re my best friend, Kaidan.  More than a best friend.  More than anyone’s ever been to me.”
Kaidan’s breath sharpened.  “You’re that for me too.  Always.”
“Always.”  Shepard pecked his lips.
They burst out of the lounge and shot to the elevator.
From “About Mars:”  AO3 and FFN
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gra-sonas · 4 years
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I am not sure if you have been asked already if you have you can link to your answer if not what would you say you are most excited for in season 2? and then what would you say you are least excited for?
Hi nonnie!
I talked about some of it  in this post, but now that we’re closer to the S2 premiere (62 days), I tried to write down a little more (esp. about other characters than Alex *ahem*). THIS GOT LONG
Liz
Liz will have A LOT on her plate this season. She’s lost Max and got Rosa back in return. That’s some grade A emotional whiplash! It’ll be interesting to see how the new dynamic  between the sisters will be (Liz is the younger sister, but she’s the  older one now, that should be interesting!). We know from several BTS pics/vids this year (thanks, Trevino!), that Liz will work at the  Crashdown quite a bit (I wonder what that means in regards to a job in the field of biomedical engineering?). I also expect her to figure out a way to bring Max back (does she have/get a lab, will there be another underground bunker, will she work at Michael’s bunker???).
In the trailer Liz was seen with Jenna (😍) who showed her how to use a weapon. WHY IS LIZ LEARNING HOW TO SHOOT??? 😱 How is her relationship with her dad, will she tell him about Rosa (not just that she’s back, but also the bit about where Jim Valenti is Rosa’s biological dad? Or does Arturo already know???).  And what role does Liz’s mom play when she comes to visit? Oh, and how/when does she figure out how to bring back Max? So many questions, and I can’t wait to find out.
Rosa
Rosa’s return is one of very, VERY few things I liked about 1x13. I’m so excited she’s back and can’t wait to get to know her properly in S2. She’ll have a lot to deal with (”I’m a ghost.” is what she says in the trailer, that implies that she has to stay hidden, at least early on!). She’s still a recovering alcoholic and addict, and then there’s this whole thing of being alive again after a decade of… well, a decade of what? Noah put her in his pod, the same pod he said didn’t keep him in stasis properly. What does that mean for Rosa? Noah’s in a scene with Rosa in the trailer, is that a flashback? Was she ‘alive’ in the pod, or was she actually dead and didn’t feel a thing? How will her dad react? How’s her relationship with Liz going to develop? How ‘delighted’ will she be to interact with Kyle, her half-brother? I can’t wait to find out about all of that!
Isobel
My girl Isobel! She’s gonna have a lot to deal with in S2. First and foremost there’s Max’s death, which - given that they are sharing a very special psychic bond - I would imagine will be super hard for her to handle. In 1x13 we also saw her ‘unlock’ a new (new to her) power. Is that something she’ll try to develop further in the hopes of bringing Max back? Will she work with Liz? Will she unlock other powers? How will she approach dealing with the severe trauma of Noah betraying and (ab)using her? Will she go to therapy? Pretend like  everything is okay and try to figure it out on her own? Go to Kyle and talk to him? Go to Alex (PLEASE, LET HER GO TO ALEX)? Is she the one who’ll identify as ‘not straight’ at the end of S2? I’m absolutely STOKED for Isobel’s journey, especially bc Lily’s the coolest who also gives Carina ideas and talks to her about Isobel a lot. This is going to be so good!!!
Maria
Maria’s the character that had the least development in S1. She didn’t have  much of a storyline of her own, and mostly served as a catalyst for other character’s stories. I hope that will fundamentally change in S2. Carina’s said that they’ll dive into Maria’s family history this season, meaning that we’ll hopefully find out more about the necklace she’s wearing, its powers, and what part her family played after the UFO crash in 1947. What’s the DeLuca family legacy, and what do they know about aliens? When will Maria find out about aliens, and how will she react - not just about the fact that aliens exist, but that everyone close to her kept it from her for so long? Will be interesting to see what they’re doing with Maria this season. 
Max
Will probably stay dead for at least some of S2, he’ll probably be brought back halfway through S2? The when and how of bringing him back is one thing, interesting will also be, how Max is. Is he the same as before? Or did the use of that much power to bring Rosa back cost him. A part of his soul? His memories? Something else? Some people mentioned dark!Max could be an option, that could be really cool.
Kyle
My boo Kyle!!! I want nothing but good things to happen to Dr. McSexy. I hope his friendship with Alex continues to blossom and grow, I can’t wait for more brilliant and hilarious one-liners and quips (Kyle had the best lines in S1, and Trevino delivered every single one to perfection!), there’s at least one Kyliz kiss in his future, and while I know they’ll never be endgame (😢), I’ll enjoy it while it lasts (here’s me shallowly hoping for some good recreational s e x for the good doctor, though I do hope he doesn’t get his heart broken.
Michael
It’ll be SO hard to see Michael spiral. :( He’s got so many things to deal with, and I’m worried how long his ‘free fall’ will last before he’s able to stabilize? Caulfield and Max’s death will be super hard on him, Iz will be busy getting her own life in order, and while I hope Liz and Michael will work together to bring Max back, it remains to be seen if Michael’s even up for it. I’m just glad to know that Alex is around, solid as a rock, not going anywhere, and I hope Michael will allow him to be there for him. ‘Only’ as a friend for now, but that’s what S2′s supposed to be about, Alex and Michael becoming friends. They still love each other (SO MUCH 🥺), they still have this cosmic bond, and I hope that despite them not being together (as ‘in a relationship), they’ll steadily move towards getting back together.
Special wish: should the ‘Alex gets kidnapped’ story line happen, I can’t WAIT for tornado!Michael to do everything in his power(s) to bring him back. And should there be a reason for Michael to put a handprint on Alex, I WANT IT!!!
Alex
Unsurprisingly, I’m most looking forward to all things Alex next season. And I really mean ALL things. Just seeing him will spark joy. I’m also prepared to worry about him. A LOT. First of all, he’ll re-enlist again. Staying in the Air Force enables him to get access to important information, which hopefully helps to keep Michael, Iz and Max safe, but what a price to pay… :/
I’m looking forward to the developing friendship between Alex and Michael, for the friendship between Alex and Kyle to grow, and I want a friendship between Alex and Isobel like almost nothing else in S2! I’m looking forward to BAMF!Alex who left nice in the Middle East and is ready to take on the fight with his father. I’m looking forward to interactions between Alex and his brothers (soooo curious about all things Manes Brothers!). I’m anxious to see how he’ll react to M/M (I really hope they won’t make him pretend it’s no big deal, or ‘forgive’ like it’s nothing that Maria went behind his back…), I hope to see Alex’s disability be more ‘visible’ again than during the latter half of S1. I wish his PTSD and what it means for him would be more visible and addressed but that might not happen. And then there’s of course BUFFYYYY! I’m prepared to sob my way through their first encounter. I’m so, so happy he gets to have her! ❤️
Buffy
I CANNOT WAIT TO MEET THIS VERY GOOD GIRL!!!!! 😍
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What I hope for
A season that expands the RNM universe without losing focus of our main characters. Reveals of important alien history. Friendships developing. I hope that the influence of the large number of queer, POC, and female people working in the writers room and behind the camera will have a really positive influence on how S2 comes together.
I also hope for S2 to end on a positive/hopeful note for Malex. I hope they won’t be in relationships with other people going into S3, and I hope there’ll be a real chance for them to get back together in S3.
Despite them not being together in S2, I still hope for a kiss (OR SEVERAL, DON’T HOLD BACK ON MY ACCOUNT). I can’t go an entire season without them kissing 🥺🥺🥺
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More characters  + some DNWs below the cut
Jenna
My girl Jenna! Gosh, I love her, and I can’t wait to see her again. I’m also hoping she’ll be in more than one episode. I want to know more about Charlie, I want to see more of my favorite sleuthing trio Jenna/Alex/Kyle. Just… give me aaaaaall the Jenna content!
Mimi
I hope we’ll learn more about her, her history with Jesse, and her potential history with aliens. What does Mimi know, did an alien ‘give’ her dementia? Is there a cure?
Steph
Steph (played by Justina Adorno) is a new character we haven’t met yet. According to Justina, “Steph is sassy. She is the Head of Surgery’s daughter. She’s a smart educated girl with a little sass“. So we don’t have much to work with yet, but ‘Head of Surgery’s daughter’ implies, that she might meet Kyle first (at the hospital)? Will she be in on the alien secret, or play a different role? Either way, I’m always excited for more female characters!
Grace Powell
I couldn’t be more excited about Jamie Clayton in Roswell, she’s brilliant and I want her around for more than just 2-3 episode. Hope she’s one of the good guys!
Mara & Louise
Mara (Michael’s mom) and Louise (likely Isobel’s and Max’s mom) are two characters we’ll meet in flashbacks to 1947. I’m excited to find out more about the aliens who crashed, where they are from, I hope the flashbacks will fill out some blanks. I’m also very curious to find out how they’ll incoroprate the flashbacks in general. Are these memories Isobel and Michael manage to unlock? Are there videos in the Caulfield files? Do they find old diaries in 2018 and they play out on screen?
Jesse
May he get what he deserves in S2 (AND I WANT ALEX TO BE THE LAST THING HE EVER SEES, PREFERABLY ALEX KISSING MICHAEL)
Arturo
No one, and I mean really absolutely NO ONE is allowed to mess with Papi Ortecho. (ง︡’-‘︠)ง  (ง︡’-‘︠)-o  (ง︡’-‘︠)ง Liz needs him, Rosa needs him,I need him. He better be healthy and well by the end of S2!
Jason Behr’s character
No idea who he’s going to play, probably someone from the 1947 timeline? Or someone who could be dangerous for the Pod Squad in 2018?
Wyatt Long
He’ll be in at least one episode, maybe more? What is he going to do if he ever finds out Rosa’s back???
For[r]est
Hopefully a good guy, and good for Alex. Still not eager to see this unfold on screen tho…
Manes Brothers
Ahhhhh, I’m actually super excited for Gregory Manes, and also for more Flint! I hope we’ll find out more about them, about their dynamics, who’s older/younger, how it was when they were little, and even though we won’t meet their mom this season, I hope we’ll hear sth about her (and why she left). I also hope that at least one of them will be in Alex’s corner, I’d also be in favor of a redemption arc for Flint, just putting that out there.
DNW
Any and all M/M & A/F “love” triangle stuff. I don’t want it and I wish it wasn’t part of S2. Alas, it will be and I just hope M/M will end quickly, and A/F is nothing but a fling. Ugh, I don’t want any of this 😩 My absolute nightmare would be for both ‘relationships’ to last into S3.
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Extensive flashbacks to 1947 that take away precious screen time I’d rather see dedicated to characters in 2018.
Episodes that had to be edited extensively to fit 42 minutes (still mourning every little scene they had to cut from S1 episodes, even though we’ll never know what and how much got cut from each ep, it just was A LOT for some episodes)
Too much focus on the overall ‘murder mystery’ plot (or whatever we’ll get this year) . I’d much rather see the characters grow and interact with each other (more group scenes would be nice).
Another trash fire of a final episode like 1x13. Of course there will be a cliffhanger, and this time we know that we’ll definitely get another season, but still. Another season finale leaving the characters - and therefore us - in such a bad place would be the absolute worst. We’ve barely made it through this hiatus, I don’t think this fandom could handle another one with so much uncertainty, heartbreak, and dread of what’s to come in S3.
In case you’ve made it until the very end of this post, thank you, and thanks for your ask!!! Hope you’re having a great day, nonnie!  ✨💚👽
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chrysolina · 6 years
Text
Clinging to you
Asks - Hiii! How’re u? I was wondering if you could do an imagine where the reader is dating cevans, and over hears I’m saying that she’s too clingy and he might break up with her? Then she avoids him for days. And the reason she’s clingy is bc she thinks she’s going to lose him? But chris didn’t know that and realizes how much he misses and loves her? Love ur page btw seriously - anon
Hiii! Can you do a fic with cevans x girl reader. She overheard him saying that she’s too clingy and sometimes he just wants to be alone and is thinking abt breaking up w her and so she ignores him for days but he doesn’t know why but they get into a fight about it after ? Basically angst to fluff? -
Thank you both for this amazing ask!! Here it is, hope you enjoy 💕
Summary - Chris is getting tired - tired of your clinginess to him. So much so, he wants to end your five year relationship - but how can you with a massive obstacle soon to be in the way?
Word count - 2.6k
Warnings - angst, swearing, fluff, mention of sex
M A S T E R L I S T
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Photoshoots, Chris hated them. As much as he was a kind soul and wasn’t one to complain, he wasn’t having any of it today. A humid, gripping air hung around LA the whole day and the studio was no different, the air-con was trying it’s best to cool everyone but with the recent heatwave that had just passed, it just wasn’t enough.
Ever since he was a baby, Chris never liked the heat - period - it still made him as cranky, snappy and generally frustrated at the most mundane or innocent of things even now, thirty six years later.
Through all the hair styling, outfit changes, prop swapping, flashes and clicks of the camera, he was continuously keeping his cool - until you, literally, stepped through the door of the studio. He didn’t understand why but as of late, you had been rather clingy with him - far too clingy, if Chris had further words for it.
He hadn’t dared to say it to you yet but your incessant clinginess only made him want to tear away from you and call it quits. He was a lone spirit, an independent one at that and he just couldn’t stand the cramped feeling you gave him whilst you were around him.
You smiled, waved and said hi to him whilst the hairdressers were sorting his hair, like most would, you expected him to smile back and either tell you to come see him or say hey back but no, Chris just glared daggers into you, making your happy go-lucky smile drop in an instant. You didn’t digress too much over it however, you shrugged it off and went off to the lunchtime buffet that had just opened on the other side of the studio.
After a while, things weren’t adding up. The head photographer had called it time for lunch just over twenty minutes ago and Chris hadn’t showed up. With a huff, you asked his and your manager if he knew where he went, to which he replied ‘I think he went to his dressing room darling’, you thanked him and paced quickly to Chris’ room.
Halfway through your walk, a god-awful gut feeling stabbed your insides like a katana ‘what if he doesn’t want to see me? What if he’s mad at me?’ You shrugged off the thoughts, clenched your now incredibly valuable handbag closer to you and kept walking.
The dressing rooms were deadly silent bar your heeled sandals clicking on the tiled floor, a cool air whipped past your neck and made you hold your body whilst it shivered. Although it was from afar, you could hear Chris’ voice bellow through his dressing room and seep out of the flimsy door and its gaps, making you puzzle at the anger in his voice.
You didn’t want to knock the door and ask how he was, as bad as it was you wanted to listen to what on Earth had got him so riled up and moreover, who he was talking to.
As best as you could, you stayed pressed against the wall next to his door and steadied your breathing so you could hear what he had to say. “You have no clue how fucking ridiculous she’s being right now man,” who was he on about? “She’s driving me fucking insane with her constant fucking neediness!” He wasn’t talking about you..was he?
“Chris I’m sure it’s just a phase,” you knew who’s voice that was on the speakerphone, Scott. “Y/N’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Believe me when I say that bro,” wait...was Chris venting about you? Neediness? Your head began to spin with all the accusations.
“More like the worst thing to happen to me.” You could almost visualise Chris’ face when he said that about you. Unbeknownst to you, tears began to cascade down your cheeks freely at the painful words that Chris kept spewing out about you. “She really does make me want to run to the fucking hills Scott.”
“You don’t mean that Chris.”
“The fuck I do, Y/N’s just become too much for me and I can’t stick it anymore...how much will mom and dad hate me if I came back home without Y/N?” No, he wasn’t thinking about this now, of all the times right now he was choosing to do this now?
Before you actually let out a sob, you bolted straight out of there and straight to the ladies toilets to basically bawl your eyes out. You sat on the toilet seat and looked at the pristine photo that sat in your bag, waiting to be shown to the world and more importantly, to Chris; you couldn’t bare to look at the image after hearing what he had to say about you - his fiancée, his supposed ‘rock’, his ‘everything’ - was it all a lie?
After a twenty minute cry alone in the full toilets, you cleaned yourself up, refreshed your makeup and wandered out to an awaiting Chris and your manager. To your disgust, Chris smiled at you like as if you had come back to life from the grave and went to go and hug you but you ducked away from him with a coldness you never thought you’d have.
“Right then Y/N, are you ready?” Your manger asked you kindly, you were to feature in the magazine shoot alongside Chris - due to your own stardom - in some very pleasing photos.
“Actually, can I reschedule it for another day?” You smiled sadly at him and watched out the corner of eye Chris’ brows furrowing in question.
“I think I must’ve eaten something disagreeable and I kinda threw up in the toilet just now,” you partly lied clean through your teeth and smiled weakly at your manager, your colourless parlour catching his eye.
He was the first to know about your recent stomach bug that had lingered in you for the longest while now and was quick to understand your position right now, being sick in this heat must be awful.
“Of course, how about I bargain for this Friday? It’ll give a bit of time then,” he smiled and ignored Chris head moving from you to his manager a flurried way. Three days to get well again and do the appropriate precautions, a squeeze but perfect.
“Wonderful, thank you so so much Charles.” You sighed, waved your goodbyes to everyone bar Chris and paced off to your car in the parking lot.
Without notice, a large hand caught your forearm and pulled you back a step of two. “Where’re you going Y/N/N?” Chris partially snapped at you and tried to look you deep in the eye but the facade you put on prevented him from doing so.
“I’m going home Chris,” You snapped and yanked your hand out of his vice-like grip with such a strength, it made him look twice. Chris panicked, he needed to talk to you and ask you where you were going.
As quick as he could, his hand caught yours and held you still. “Why? Y/N what’s going on?” Chris whined and pleaded to you like a child who wanted his favourite candy. You clicked your teeth and yanked your hand away again, this time taking a step away for precautions sake and kept your handbag close to you.
“Nothing that’d concerns you.” You snapped furiously and steamed away to your car around the back of the studio, your hand holding the side of your stomach protectively.
What a mess the supposed best day of your life had turned out to be.
-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-
Instead of holing yourself up for the rest of the afternoon and evening, you chose to be as productive as possible with your free time before Chris came back home to your shared LA home.
You out all your clothes in suit protectors int he wardrobe and kept everything neatly together in case the worst came to be tonight, you cleaned the house, baked a chocolate cake for all times sake, took Dodger for a walk around the local trail and emptied your valuables from your shared safe in your dresser.
By the time the photo shoot was finished and they were packing away, you were all set for the worst and was calmly watching the evening lights flicker in the distance, your feet dangling peacefully in the pool, Dodger laying next to you and your phone.
Like the devil’s calling, you could hear the said actor’s car pulling into the driveway, the engine stop and the door slam shut with a loud slam that jolted Dodger out of his dazed slumber. Before Dodger could get up and run to see Chris, he had already come through the door and likewise, slammed it shut with a fury that made you sick to stomach.
“Y’know you can sometimes be a real bitch Y/N Y/L/N!” Chris yelled and echoed through the entire house, his footing more like stomps as he neared your form by the pool. Dodger jumped out of the way and paced back in the house, as if he already knew to leave his parents alone.
“It’s part of my speciality.” You deadpanned and kept your head forward, refusing to look at Chris who stood beside you.
“Sixteen times Y/N, sixteen times I called and you never answered. Lord knows how many times I text you.” Chris ranted and raved and paced back and forth behind you. You didn’t budge though, you just stared off into the distance holding your tongue from saying something real bad.
“Look who’s being the clingy one now, Christopher.” You chided with a dead-like face and smiled internally once the pacing stopped and you could feel Chris’ eyes on your head. Chris’ heart dropped mike and miles at your words and immediately thought back to the heated conversation he had with Scott earlier.
He couldn’t articulate any words and only looked at you stunned. “No words now, hm? You seemed to have plenty earlier, didn’t you Christopher?” This time your urned to look him dead in the eye with a glare that could easily freeze over hell and its counterparts.
Slowly, you rose to your feet and stood only a few inches away from Chris’ sullen form, eyeing him up as of you were going to murder him.
‘How did you hear...” Chris trailed off and let his mouth go slack at the sight of you, red eyed and pale as a dead person - he did this to you, he knew it.
You scoffed at the Bostonian as if he had said something utterly ridiculous. “C’mon Chris, anyone at leat ten foot away could hear you slagging me off!” You snapped and pushed past him back into the house, your feet getting especially wet.
“I wasn’t slagging you off!” Chris suddenly shouted from the patio doors, making you stop dead in your tracks.
“Weren’t you? Cause it sure fucking sounded like that Chris.” You snapped him off again and began to walk to the staircase.
“I had every right to do so Y/N!” Chris’ voice echoed around the house and made you stop again, this time with tears rolling down your cheeks.
“You’ve been so clingy and up in my business lately, it’s driving me fucking insane. ‘Oh Chris help me here. Chris can I come with you here. Can I come with you there. Can you tell me this, that and the other. Come with me here Chris. Do this Chris. Do that Chris.’ Do you get what I’m saying Y/N?” Chris yelled at you shaking form and didn’t let up, not like he saw your shaking anyways.
“You’re clingy Y/N, admit you did wrong and apologise.” Chris demanded and it made your blood boil in rage. Apologise? Apologise for being unwell? Apologise for being pregnant with his child? Your stubbornness wouldn’t allow it.
Instead of doing the usuals yell at each other gimmick, you turned around and sulked towards him as if you were sorry, as if you had a lot to apologise for. Chris’ cold glare never left you whilst you stood before him, your eyes plastered to the floor. “Tomorrow is coming Y/N. Anything would do.”
Without any second thought, you stood straight and slapped him straight across the face, sending him stumbling back a step or two. “Give me a fucking break Evans! Five years we’ve been together and you were willing to throw it all under the bus and run away just because I’ve been a little clingy lately?” You screeched at him, not daring to hold back.
“I hope you’ve got a big heart because I’ve fucking over this bullshit. You wanna throw away us, fine but just remember, you’ll also be throwing away a possible son or daughter too.” Your voice broke into a sob near the end of your speech. You couldn’t stand it anymore, to stand here in his presence was making you feel light on your feet in the worst possible way.
You didn’t bother to look back at Chris and bolted for the stairs, cradling your small bump and holding your head in the process. Your ran to your once-shared bedroom and shut the door tight, your legs giving away and crumbling from beneath you once your back hit the thick wood.
It could’ve been minutes or hours later, you felt yourself being hoisted off the floor bridal style and placed gently on your bed. Your eyes fluttered at the sudden feeling of wet salty lips on your own, you didn’t know what to do; reciprocate the kiss or leave it?
Reciprocate or leave?
No matter how cumbersome his words were on your mind, Chris was your one love, your fiancé, your everything and you couldn’t imagine anyone else filling that role; ever.
Just before he was going to pull away, your smaller hands flew to his bearded cheeks and pulled him back down to kiss you like never before. It was a kiss that neither of you had ever shared before, it was so powerful, so loving and so apologetic you couldn’t help but allow Chris’ frame to slide in between your legs and his arms circle around you like a warm blanket.
Once you opened your eyes, you were met with the face of a scared, broken and elated Chris who looked like he had been slapped square in the face with - oh wait, he had.
You tentatively touched the bright red area and watched him wince at the touch, much to your horror. “What did I do to you..” you mumbled in a breath and rubbed his other cold, wet cheek with your thumb.
“No baby, what did I do to you?” Chris’ forehead leant against yours lovingly and stared into you Y/E/C eyes longingly.
“Where shall I start?” You tried to lighten the mood with your joke but it seemed to be taken the other way once Chris’ lips met yours again in a steamy, passionate kiss.
“Let me make it up to you Y/N...” Chris sighed into your mouth, hooked one of your legs around his hips and ground his forming erection softly against your core, giving you the precise idea he had.
“So long as you don’t go a-wall on us again, then yes. Love me, Chris.” You sighed at the motion down below and slowly under the belt of Chris’ jeans.
Tags - @patzammit
A/N: if anyone’s up for it, I’m thinking of doing a small smut following this watery ass ending lol. If anyone’s interested ofc * (:
*A/N: since school stuff has got mega crazy all of a sudden I may put a future smut off until I can get around to it!! So sorry everyone!! )):
3K notes · View notes
roseamongroses · 4 years
Text
Antithesis: “what do you have? “ I have a kNIFE” “NO”
[Specific-Summary]: They should expect growing pains. For not everything to feel right or make sense. That doesn't mean it'll always hurt, nor does it mean they can't have fun along the way. It's senior year. Everything may be different. It won't be senior year for long. Everything will be okay.
[General Warnings]: Implied Emotional Abuse, Implied Physical Abuse, Bad Parents are Bad Parents, Mild Sexual Content/jokes,Mentioned Homophobia, Mentions of underage drinking (backround), Some Catcalling,Cursing , Self Hate,implied pregnancy talk/inability to become pregnant, adults arguing where the “kid” can hear it, adults drinking,
[Tags/mood:] highschool au,  fluff and angst but its all good, chat fic, teen stress, its flordia no snow we die like men [Pairing:] Roceit (Roman Sanders/ Deceit Sanders), hinted future/possible logince/roloceit/loceit [Characters]Roman Sanders/Deceit (Dmitri) Sanders, Virgil Sanders, Logan Sanders, Patton Sanders, Remy (Sleep) Sanders, Nate Sanders, Dragon Witch (Diana) Remus “The Duke” Sanders (minor/brief)
(Ao3) (Previously)
(8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15)
(16) (17) (18) 
L: I May Have Lost Roman
V: nice
P: not nice :)
V: i feel vaguely threatened
Rem:@L how the fuck did you manage that Rem: nvm i know how just give me details
L:I don’t know ? One second we were at check out L: Next minute he was Gone and Nieve is looking suspicious
L:Hold on lemme ask Dmitri
V: why is he there
L: I mean he’s actually pretty chill L: But he dropped Roman off and Nieve got attached L:I’m...not sure if she’s planning on letting him go?
V:logan, my friend, my buddy, V:the only person in this chat with basic reading comprehension
Rem: that’s pretty fair
P: it really is tbh
V: Send. Pictures.
L: Okay L: Slight Issue
V: you lost the snake too
L: I lost Dmitri too and Nieve is not spilling
Rem: oh they’re defeinately fucking
L:...Where? The bathroom?
Rem: Don’t knock it till you try it ;)
V: not to be that guy but im vetoing this discussion V: cause thats a Yikes even for you Remy
L: Alright time to find them
Rem: check ;))) the;))) bathrooms ;;))))
L: Remy.
Rem: alrighlright too far ill stop
L: Thank you.
V: keep me updated V: i only have silence and physics homework as company
L:Huh L:Found them
L: Roman….found a katanna…
V: im sorry WHAT V: Why The Fuck Does He Have A Sword
Rem: drop the location of that store man
L: 1) It’s a Katanna L: 2)I will certainly Not. L: 3) He’s trying to convince Dmitri why he should have it
L…..and Dmitri looks more amused then concerned
V: if I can't have a tarantula he sure as hell cant have a sword
L:I told him it was probably fake/ poorly made and that he should take the time to invest the proper skill in money in a real one
V: goddamit logan you cant logic roman.
L: It worked. He put it back. L: So I say I can do what I want with roman
Rem: some spicy takes from the chats only brain cell ;)
---
“So you’re turning eighteen, in a few months. ” His aunt said, dabbing her cheeks with a napkin. She still managed to hold an air of prestige despite getting utterly shitfaced the night before. Her appointments have been going well.
Dmitri looked up, masking his surprise and holding his tongue.
Dr. Montag looked over, quieting the running water and placing the dish was he was cleaning down, “Really?” he said, brushing his hands, “You got any plans?” he asked, Dmitri.
“Oh we usually do something small,” His aunt interjected, “But seeing as he’s my father’s favorite grandchild,” Only grandchild, “He’s is flying from Paris to join us. And he was never a man of modesty so I’ve been thinking about doing something special for the occasion.”
Oh.
Dmitri fought the smile creeping on his face, ducking his head. He shouldn’t be surprised that she remembered after all if his grandfather was visiting. It’s how he got his phone, laptop, his car.
It’s probably why she puts up with him, to begin with. Cause it wasn’t guilt.
“--We should get your hair cut,” She continued, and Dmitri snapped out of his thoughts, “Maybe invite Diana--he’d like her,” she murmured.
“Diana and I a-” He closed his mouth, and his aunt’s eyes shot over.
“You broke up?” She narrowed her eyes, examining her nails, “Huh, makes sense seeing as...” she gestured at him vaguely, “So who have you been sneaking around with?”
“I’m not sneaking around with anyone,” Dmitri said, meeting her gaze. And technically he was right, it’s not sneaking if she just hasn’t been asking. And he’s given up on telling.
Dr. Montag’s eyebrows knitted together confused,” Well that isn’t true,”
Dmitri’s eyes went wide, stomach sinking.
His Aunt’s grin spread, “Oh really?”
Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck--
“He’s been helping me out, hon,” Dr. Montag set down a glass of water and pills beside her plate, “You’ve been so stressed lately,” he looked guilty and produced some tickets, “I thought I’d surprise you.”
Her face softened and like that the tension left the room. Those two got to linger in whatever lovey-dovey spell had taken hold of them in the last few months, but Dmitri was still on edge.
She still kept him on edge, but he could get her back. Even the playing field. Anytime he could leave this—Anytime he could flip this switch and put her on edge and make her—
He stopped eating, setting his plate aside.
He felt sick.
---
R:helllloooo R:anyone up R: sigh R: allll by mySELLLLF
L: Roman?
R: the one and lonely yes hello human contact???
L: Are you alright? It’s 3 am why are you still awake?
R: why are YOU up mm????
L: My parents have newborn twins. What’s your excuse?
R: well fuck got me there
R: i was texting dee but he was rlly tired and i stILL can’t sleep
L: Any particular reason?
R: u m
L: Private chat?
R: please
- [TheTruthAboutTheMoon]
TheWalkingMouth: Okay shoot
Cowboy:it's stupid
TheWalkingMouth: I’ll tell you if it's stupid or not just say it
Cowboy: i just….like Cowboy: it's all kinda….hitting me a ll at once and i Really don’t like thinking about it but i cant bottle shit up either like you bastards so i feel like the human equivelent og a washing machine with too much laundry in it
TheWalkingMouth: Then don’t? TheWalkingMouth: Even if it's too ‘stupid’ for me I’m sure Dmitri wouldn’t mind
Cowboy: yeah but i feel like im going to say something shitty to him i Cowboy: like we should talk about it Cowboy: and i will Cowboy: but not now--later when it's not too stressful for either of us
TheWalkingMouth: Why would you say something shitty?
Cowboy: idk id jst get frustrated trying to explain it Cowboy: like hes smart as hell and probbaly get it without me saying anything but like Cowboy: I have neither the patience nor articulation right now to explain like a civil person and he doesnt need me being shitty about it
Cowboy:like,,,,,for example,,,,, if he fucks up in school, he’ll get recommended a tutor and teachers would assume hes doing his best and hes such a sweet and quiet boy
Cowboy: like he is sweet!!but hes a little shit too!! And gets away with it!!! Half those pranks he pulled on virgil, as Iconic as they were he never got in trouble for them!!!
Cowboy: when i fuck up i
Cowboy: god it's stupid
TheWalkingMouth: Might not get a second chance? Yeah I get it.
TheWalkingMouth:Remember when I first transferred here? None of the teachers would take me seriously bc of my accent and if they did, they were afraid of me. I could repeat something another kid said word for word and still be told I had an attitude.
Cowboy: god i remembered that Cowboy: you answered his yes or no questions in a fuckin montone, quiet ass voice and he legit called in the office cause he got scared of a goddamn freshman
Cowboy: But ye when i fuck up Cowboy: im suddenly the lazy ass brown kid who should spend less time corrupting youth with my feminine hips and curls Cowboy: like it's not like a lot of them say it outright but it feels like if im not perfect im fufilling all the stereotypes
TheWalkingMouth: Ah okay, rant away
Cowboy: OK like like like im not like virgil right?? in a lot of ways and it fuckin shows
Cowboy: he’s been planning on going into engineering since sixth grade meanwhile i only got my shit together in highschool
Cowboy: and like now that im here/???what now??? My mother expects me to have my shit together meanwhile im over here freaking the fuck out over whether not it's worth it to even try Cowboy: like yes mother i want to go to an art/or librel arts school that may or may not accept me that we may or may not afford to find a career in who the hell knows because if i have to sit in a healthcare class or a applied mathmatics class like you did i miight actually shank the professor????
Cowboy: that i dread the thought of not trying to explore my options outside of this fucking state but i dread the thought of going bc i cant stand the thought of being away from home but i cant fucking find a reason to stay cause everyone i love is leaving or planning their own life anyway???
Cowboy: like remys gunna fuck off to who knows where regardless of whether or not he has a plans or money, pattons gunna take care of his grandmother whereever the fuck a canada ,moms moving in with tia, virgils already mentally flipping me off ready to fuck nasa , and i only fucking hope dmitri even getss the chance to choose where he goes but hes g o n e and i die from yearning behind a screen like the gay victorian i am , and you….i actually dont know
TheWalkingMouth: Teaching for either biology or physics
Cowboy: huh it fits but what about chemistry??
TheWalkingMouth: Fuck chemistry.
Cowboy: oh thank god we’re on the same page
TheWalkingMouth: Anyway, I assume you’re more worried about whether you should apply rather then if you could get in?
Cowboy: i think so
TheWalkingMouth: Well if my opinion means anything to you
Cowboy: more than you’re assuming but yeah continue
TheWalkinMouth: Wait
Cowboy: nothing nothing continue
TheWalkingMouth: Okay-- I think you should go for it but you don’t need to dive head first into it and commit to everything 100% like virgil did.
TheWalkingMouth: You’re allowed to keep your options open, to have backup plans for back up plans
TheWalkingMouth: It doesn’t mean you’re not passionate about your art. Doesn’t mean you’re inevitably going to get a office job and abandon all your dreams. It means you’re being smart and not backing yourself into a corner
TheWalkingMouth:It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay not to have it all figured out
TheWalkingMouth: Nobody does.
TheWalkingMouth: Even if no one else gives you a second chance at least give yourself a second chance.
TheWalkingMouth: It’s perfectly normal to be afraid to fuck up and get fucked over TheWalkingMouth: That doesn’t mean you will everytime TheWalkingMouth: And it certainly doesn’t mean it's the end
Cowboy:
Cowboy:
Cowboy:
[...Cowboy is typing…]
---
@daflangstlairde
@ace-anx
@cataclysm-al
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padawanton · 5 years
Note
you know, also, I bet pretty much any of Alexa and Astra's potential babysitters have the best bedtime stories for them, so what are the kiddos' favorite stories to hear from them?
The girls’ top 5 stories, in no particular order, are as follows:
Stories from Kara and J’onn from when they lived on their home planets
Kara meeting Barry for the first time
“The time Mom fought a dragon. What do you mean we can’t get a dragon? Mom, c’mon it’ll be so cool, I promise to walk it and feed it and everything, pleeeeease.”
Kara and Brainy meeting in her dream-loft (Astra pretends to think it’s mushy, of course.
Supergirl’s fight with Red Tornado (No one understands why the girls gravitate towards this story in particular.)
————————————
“Grandpa, who is this?”
J’onn looked up from the astronomy textbook he was reading to Alexa to see Astra across the room, hovering about a foot above the air with a picture frame in her hands.
He placed the book onto the table next to him and gestured for Astra to come over to him, “Let me get a look at that.”
Astra flew over to him, landing on his unoccupied leg across from her sister. She handed him the frame, pointing to and naming the people in the photo she recognized, “There’s Mommy and Auntie Alex and Uncle Winn and you but I don’t know who this is.”
J’onn looked down at the photo and saw that Astra was pointing to an older man standing next to him. One of his hands was on J’onn’s shoulder while the other one gripped a mug; his smile telegraphed a long-forgotten happiness.
“This is my father, M’yrnn.”
“He’s your daddy? Then he must be a bajillion years old!” Astra said, bursting into a fit of giggles at her own hilarious joke.
J’onn chuckled, “I suppose you’re ri-,“ he paused as he felt his shoulder being pat, “Alexa?”
“How come we’ve never met him?” she asked, “Does he live on Mars?
He paused for a beat, a lump forming in his throat. “No, I’m afraid he’s no longer with us.”
At this revelation, Astra’s laughter quickly died down. She glanced at her sister, neither of them knowing how respond.
However, unable to quell her curiosity, Astra asked, “What happened to him?”
J’onn took a deep breath and began, “A few years before you two were born, there was a group of villains who called themselves the Worldkillers. They were Kryptonians who’d escaped the planet’s destruction, like your mother, Clark and the citizens of Argo City. The Worldkillers wanted to conquer the Earth and transform it into a new Krypton. During the final battle between us and the Worldkillers, the ground began to split open, part of the terraforming process; my father was able to stop it and delay their leader, Reign, but using that much power had taken its toll on him.”
The girls remained quiet until Astra spoke up again, “He must’ve been really, really brave.”
J’onn smiled at her, “Yes, yes he was.” 
Astra wriggled in excitement, “Tell us more about him!”
He ruffled her hair and chuckled, “Alright.”
———————–
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(The background is a photo bc I’m lazy and they’re in an abandoned warehouse bc where else do you build a robot without your parents’ permission.)
“What is that?”
“This is Red Tornado!” Astra said, beaming with pride.
Kara froze at the mention of a name she hadn’t heard in years. “What is it doing in our house?”
“We wanted to show him off to you and Dad; ‘Lexa and I have been working on him for months.”
Kara hadn’t fully registered what her daughter had told her, “Girls, you need to get away from that thing right now, you know how dangerous it is.”
Astra stepped in between her mother and Red Tornado, shielding the android from her, “He’s not a thing, and he’s not dangerous either. Red’s our friend.”
Alexa spoke up, “Astra’s right, Mother. While we based his aerokinetic abilities off Morrow’s original creation, we designed his A.I. from scratch. He’s nothing like the first Red Tornado.”
“The first one tried to kill General Lane and his daughter, Lucy. Do you really think the public won’t notice that you two have basically resurrected him?”
“That was, like, 20 years ago,” Astra protested, “and our Red doesn’t even look like the old one, that one was lame.”
Kara didn’t want to admit it but Astra had a point, the fire engine-red chassis, yellow detailing and…blanket wrapped around its shoulders distinguished it from the older model. “That still doesn’t give you the right to build an entire robot behind our backs. Why did you do this?”
“Because whenever you told us that story we always felt bad for the original. He only tried to kill the Lanes because Morrow was controlling him, he treated him like a weapon. Plus, Alexa and I are pretty sure that the only reason he kept attacking you after Morrow was killed was because he didn’t know any better. Plus he’s just us.”
“What?”
“I think what Astra means is that while we’re not automatons ourselves, and we’re certainly more organic than the average Coluan, we still posses Father’s technological abilities. So, in a way, Red Tornado is like us.”
“The old Red Tornado could’ve been good if he had a chance,” realizing what she had implied, Astra quickly became flustered, “Not that we blame you though, Mom! We get that you really didn’t have a choice.”
“All that we ask is that you allow our Red Tornado his chance to be good.”
Kara pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a sigh, “Go to your room girls, your father and I need to talk.”
Much to the surprise of everyone in the room, excluding Red Tornado, Astra began to make her way to the staircase without protest, Alexa trailing behind her. Red began to follow them, only to be interrupted by Kara “Uh-uh, you’re staying down here.” He glanced at the sisters, who responded simply by nodding their heads, indicating to Red that he needed to stay where he was.
***
The girls sat in their room, waiting for verdict.
There was a knock at the door. “Astra, Alexa, may I come in?”
“Sure.”
Querl entered the room, “May I talk to you two for a moment? I have some questions regarding the android.”
“Can you please call him by his name?” Astra asked.
“Alright then,” Querl said, “I have some questions regarding Red Tornado.”
“Shoot.” Despite her casual demeanor Astra, along with Alexa, felt tense, bracing themselves for their father’s interrogation.
“Why does he have a blanket tied around his shoulders?”
Astra and Alexa let out a collective sigh of relief; Alexa answered, “We had intended on crafting a proper cape for him but Astra and I were too eager to show you what we had done to wait, so she improvised.”
“He likes it.”
“And what about the arrow symbols on his forehead and limbs? I searched his programming and found nothing about what purpose they could possibly serve.”
Astra answered him this time, “Uh, they don’t really have a ‘purpose.’ Alexa and I got the idea from this super old cartoon we used to watch with Uncle Winn. The main character could manipulate air, kind of like Red can; he has blue tattoos that look like the Red’s arrows. He helps out a lot of people throughout the series and by the end he saves the entire world. We thought they’d make him feel like more of a hero.”
“Why did you not ask Red himself?” Alexa asked.
“Oh, I did and he told me the same thing, essentially. I didn’t understand the concept though, and decided to ask you two.”
“Maybe you should watch more cartoons with us.” Astra teased.
“Perhaps I will but in the meantime your mother and I have made a decision concerning Red Tornado.”
He had the girls’ full attention.
“Red Tornado will be allowed to prove himself trustworthy but will be staying at the DEO until further notice. As for the two of you, you’re both grounded for three weeks for hiding this from us. No television, video games, or leaving the house without someone supervising you.”
Astra slid down into her chair, groaning, “That’s fair.”
Querl began to make his way out of their room, he paused, though, and said, “While I’m incredibly disappointed in your behavior, especially considering how much this has upset your mother, I am very proud of the both of you as well, Red Tornado is a masterpiece.
Alexa smiled while Astra pointed finger guns at him, “Thanks, Pops.”
Querl awkwardly mimicked her gesture.
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coveredinsweetpea · 6 years
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jEsus. I'm listening to Why by Bazzi and its a mood? Like not following the song but an imagine w sweet pea trying to push you away bc he doesnt know y u would like someone like him, so homeboy stopped persuing bc he sees how her 'friends' (out of spite bc he's a 'player' that hasn't paid them any mind but damn sure set his sights on u.) n fam judge + poke at their possible relationship and he low-key thinks they're right or at least that y/n does deep down. But she don't? && let's his ass know.
I suck at angst, I’m sorry, I tried! 💛-He wasn’t ashamed of himself. Never had been and thought he’d never be, but frankly, right now, he had no idea how he was feeling. Confusion maybe? Who knows. It’s been eating him up night after night yet he never said anything, and maybe now it was time to let it all out. But how? When it came to his less than perfect upbringing, questionable antics and unhealthy habits, Sweet Pea never felt like he needed to hold back. He let you all in, and he felt safe and at peace. The small fight that ignited when the topic of meeting your parents came up, should’ve been a red flag, but you two just took it as a warning sign and considering your way of thinking, you just walked past It, never giving it a second glance. When your dad almost threw Sweet Pea out of the house the night you invited him over for dinner, put thoughts in his head.“Fuck it” you scoffed as you walked outside the house, “Fuck him and his stupid misconceptions, I know you, I know you probably don’t care what my dad thinks, but please know that I don’t care either” “I know, doll” Pea sighed, kissing the top of your head. The lie slipped right from between his perfect lips a little bit too easily, too bad you were too blind to catch it.“He isn’t right, bub” you said softly as you took his hand and started walking down the street. Your father’s words echoed inside your head, ‘Y/n get this thug out of my house’ and they stung a bit, “If he was right, and you really were all those things, I wouldn’t be able to love you like I do now”“I love you too, angel. I appreciate it”You thought that was the end of it, but you had no idea how many nights he spent inside the wyrm drowning his liver in gallons of alcohol with the hopes of getting your dad’s cruel words out of his head. You weren’t there to see it and you didn’t have anyone to tell you. You knew Toni and Fangs. Met them briefly a couple of times, but you didn’t take things further. You had your own North side friends, friends who this time failed to have your back.“What the hell are you doing here?” Veronica snapped, seeing Sweet Pea leaning against his parked bike right outside Pop’s.“Hey calm down” he defended himself, throwing his arms in the air, trying to keep things civilized, “I’m here to pick Y/n up”“What?” Archie yelled, turning around to face the shop just in time to see you come out the front door. “I thought we told you to break up with him!” he growled, walking towards you.“And I told you to mind your own fucking business” you scoffed walking past him and to Sweet Pea’s bike. As if it wasn’t obvious in his eyes, the veins protruding along his neck made it fairly clear how hard he was trying to keep his calm.“Y/n, we can drive you home” Veronica said softly, realizing that yelling at you was going to do no good.“It’s ok, V” you smiled, as Sweet Pea hoped on his bike, biting hard into his lower lip in order to contain himself, “I’ll see you in school tomorrow”She tried to argue some more, but Archie pulled her back. You stood until you saw them get in their car and then jumped behind Sweet Pea.“I didn’t even get to tell you hi” you whined kissing his cheek the best you could.“Hi angel” he smiled, looking at you over his shoulder, “See? I kept my calm”. He sounded like a kid bragging to their parents about getting a good grade, and your heart melted a bit.“You could’ve told them off for all I care” you said, wrapping your arms around his middle, waiting for him to start the engine.“My place?” he asked following a heavy sigh.“Yes!” you exclaimed happily, tightening your hold around him.This is where it all started and now that you thought about it, you had no idea how you didn’t see it. All the things your friends called him, accused him of and blamed him for, aren’t easy for anyone to look over. How you managed to think he wasn’t bothered by these things was beyond you now.“I’m sorry” you breathed, gripping tightly into the edge of a t-shirt you stole from him ages ago.“It’s not your fault, babe” “Don’t! Stop! Don’t babe me after you told me you want to break up with me!” you growled, falling onto your back on his couch, “How is this happening?”“Listen, it’s for the best-” he tried to get a word in, but you stopped him.“The best? For who? For me? You think it’s ok to tell me you still love me but that you still want to break up with me? It makes me feel crazy because I can’t comprehend that” “Y/n” he sighed standing up and extending a hand for you to take so you could follow him to your feet. After you did, he continued, “I do, I love you, with all my heart. It flutters when I say these words to you. Every fucking time. And it’s because I care and I hear and I see things and-”“You shouldn’t give half a crap what people say-” you tried to interrupt him.“Listen to me” he added, his voice 10 times calmer than yours, “It’s been weeks. I haven’t heard something this morning and then made up my mind. I’ve been thinking about it, for quite a long time now. I’m not saying your family and your friends are right when they say I’m a low life. I don’t see myself as that and someone like them isn’t gonna change my mind. But even if I’m not a thug like they say, I’m still not what you need. I’m fine, I’m just not good for you”“You know… my mom thinks I’m with you just as an act of rebellion” you said walking away from him. The amount of emotion his words dumped on you were too much for you to bear right now, so you found a different way to get your point across, “Because that’s all that she knows about you, just like my dad. And Archie and every one. I don’t see it as that because I know why I’m with you, and don’t make me go all sappy now by enlisting every reason”“I don’t want you to do that” “Yeah, but do I have to?” “No, babe, that’s not the point”You looked at him dumbfounded, “What? Wasn’t that the whole point? That you don’t know why I’m with you?”“My head is spinning” he whispered defeated, plopping back down on the couch.“Pea, you make me feel safe in the dangerous side of town at 3am and then two hours later you’re laying in my arms begging me to play with your hair. I love you because you’re honest, and you’re you, and I know you. And you know me like no one else does so just please, if you really want me to leave, please let it be because of me or because of you and not because of someone else”As you finished talking, silence settled. To be honest, you regretted the way you decided to end your rant. You wish you hadn’t told him to break up with you if he wanted, but you had to give him that. It was only fair.“I don’t want you to leave, Y/n” he said eventually, “But I’m gonna try to change for you, and we need to work things out with your parents at least”“You don’t have to change” you countered, sitting down beside him.Sweet Pea turned to look at you, his eyes holding such a heavy coat of pain, you almost broke at the sight of them, “Now I feel stupid for trying to do this”“Don’t feel stupid” you said, grabbing his hands, “I should’ve seen everything happen too, I don’t know how I didn’t realize how they could affect you”“Not your fault” “Kinda is, but let’s just let it go for now, please”“I’m sorry I got you down” he whispered, cupping your cheek in his palm“It’s not you” you shook your head, before leaning in to kiss him.
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dacresprincess-blog · 6 years
Text
Consimilar / Part 2
PART 1
First of all a big shoutout and thank you to everyone who read it and everyone who left me any kind of feedback, no matter if it was in form of a reblog,like or comment. I appreciate every single one of you and my heart is literally going to burst from how much love I received. 
Also a happy new year! I knew we still have a day to go but this year im hosting my familys new years party so I´ll be pretty busy tomorrow and the day after. To everyone, stay safe! Be aware of your surroundings and have fun!
Summary: Y/N is a bad girl and when she finally sees Billy the new bad boy in town she has to have him. What happens when two hard shells see eachothers soft insides?
Warnings: swearing? slight dirty thoughts, maybe grammar bc i didnt proofread
Words: 2,3k ish
A/n: I hope you guys enjoy! Im still trying everyday to improve my writing and find other words to describe surroundings and make it more vivid so again any kind of feedback is appreciated! Have fun reading!
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After her last class ended, Y/N made her way outside to meet up with Steve and Nancy, yet they were nowhere to be seen but Billy was leaning on his car with a cigarette in his mouth.  She watches him as he blew the smoke out of his mouth, fighting her thoughts about everything else his mouth could do.
Y/N intentionally walked closer past him than she needed, to catch his attention. Right when she past him, acting as if she didn’t see him and pretending to look for Steve’s car, she hears his voice. 
„Wanna take a ride with me, princess? “, he asks and lets out another smoke cloud out of his mouth. Y/N stops and smiles to herself but then neutralizes her facial expression and turns around. 
She looks past Billy, who was smirking that she actually reacted, at his car and eyed it up and down, it was a nice car, but she knew better than to compliment him on it. 
“Waiting on someone?”, Y/N asks stepping closer to him and now looking up at him. He was definitely a head, if not more, taller than her. 
“Waiting on you princess “, he replies, taking his last puff from his cigarette before tossing it across his car and then leans back on his car. Y/N rolls her eyes and without answering starts to turn around to walk away from him. “Come on princess. You’ll take a ride you will never forget”, he says putting his hands into the pockets of his denim jacket which made his broad shoulders look even stronger and more muscular than they probably already were. 
She sighs and turns around now standing 3 feet away from him. “Billy Billy Billy”, she shakes her head. “I thought I made it clear enough that I’m not the type of girl that you’re used to. “ 
Billy’s facial expression changed at her words. He clenched his teeth together making his jaw look more prominent and Y/N sweared she could even see a vein in his neck pulsating. He didn’t think that Y/N would turn the tables so fast and simple. 
Billy groaned. He tried to find his words to smooth out the situation. He didn’t want to make Y/N feel cheap or compare her to any of the other girls, he knew that she was different and apparently, she made sure everyone knew about it. „I didn’t meant... “, Billy started to speak but was interrupted.
„Y/N! “, both hear a loud voice ring through the parking lot. Billy looks up over Y/N`s head and Y/N turns around to see Steve standing at his car with the keys in his hand. Y/N turns around and looks up at Billy. 
“Well I would love to conversate a little longer with you Billy Hargrove but duty calls”, she says and motions with her head over in Steve’s direction. Y/N turns around and quickly walks over to Steve who already sat down in his car and started the engine before she opened the door and plopped down in her seat.
Y/N looks over to Steve and sees him shaking his head. “What Harrington? “, she smirks knowing that he was mad at her for not listening. “I told you to stay away from him Y/N”, he sighs and backs out of the parking lot. 
“And yet here you are talking to him, not once but twice in one day”, he says stressing every word carefully, thinking Y/N would eventually understand it better. He drives out of the parking lot and Y/N looks out of the window and watches the ginger girl skate towards the blue Camaro.
Steve kept talking about how bad of an influence Billy was, but all Y/N could think of was how his blue eyes looked like the ocean she would love to just drown in. “...he just not the ...the love bird kinda guy”, Steve says pulling up to Y/N’s house. “Wait...speaking of love birds...where’s Nancy?”, Y/N asks completely ignoring everything Steve had just said to her. Steve stops the engine and Y/N watches him fidget with the keys. “Uh, she had...she had a club or something she had to go to “, he answers not looking Y/N in the eyes. Y/N sighs and then smiles putting her hand on Steve’s shoulder. 
She could always tell if he was lying, not because she knew him for literally 10 years but because he was so damn bad at it. 
But then again, she also was aware of the fact that Steve hated it when Y/N knew something she wasn’t supposed to, so she just let it slide this time and didn’t wanted to kick him when he was already down.
“Thanks for driving me home Stevie “, she simply said and plants a kiss on his cheek. She grabbed the door handle and was about to step out of the car when Steve grabbed her arm. 
She looked back into his eyes and saw his soft face. “Y/N promise me you don’t get involved in a situation where you’ll end up hurting.” 
Y/N smirks back at him. “Steve, I promise. I’m just having fun. I just need a bit of change in my boring life.” 
She steps out of the car and closes the door behind her. Then makes her way to her front door and opens it. She hears Steve start his engine and turns around to see him drive away. 
It was later in the evening and Y/N was sitting in her room and doing a bit of school work that she missed while she was absent. 
Suddenly she hears a door slam shut and rolls her eyes because she already knew what was coming. 
She prepares herself mentally to hear another round of screaming and hitting walls from her parents who were always busy working and away on “work trips” but once both of them were home at the same time it was a total mess. 
She gets up and locks her door and then goes to push the play button on her stereo system but only puts the volume on medium, if it was too loud her dad would also come and slam on her door. She rolls her eyes when she hears the topic of today’s fight between her parents. Both accused the other of cheating, which was actually the truth but only Y/N knew for sure. 
Still both of them were to proud and selfish to just file for a divorce because „that’s not how you handle tough situations in this family. “ They were going on for a good hour and Y/N keeps on trying to refocus on her homework, but it just doesn’t work. „And that girl up there is probably not even MY daughter, right? “, her dad screams. It was quiet for a bit and Y/N listens to what her mom would answer because this isn’t the first time her dad had accused her of foisting a child on him. The silence was interrupted by her mom shouting back at her dad about how he was changing the subject. 
Y/N rolls her eyes and sighs and then goes to open her window, she couldn’t stand to listen to their repetitive argument anymore. She steps on the roof of the house and walks to the end, from there it was an easy jump down since it wasn’t too high up anymore and also it wasn’t her first time doing it. She steadies herself on her feet and then walks quietly to the street. She was furious and mad and everything you could imagine.
Her parent’s argument was replaying over and over in her head. It was just too much for her, there was not a place in this world she could call home, where she could go to and be appreciated and loved for what she is. She was furious, and tears started to well up in her eyes, not because she was sad but because everything was so damn stupid. “How could...How...uuuggh.” 
She was talking silently to herself and was too frustrated to realize a car stopped a few feet in front of her. She passes the car when she suddenly hears a familiar voice call. 
“Hey Princess.” Y/N takes a deep breath trying to decide what to do, she slows down in her walking but then continues at her normal pace again. 
The engine of the car starts and slowly moves beside her. The window of the passenger side was rolled down and Billy was calling after her. 
“Princess slow down.” Y/N was so furious when she got out of her house that she forgot her jacket and now that she cooled down a little bit and was distracted by Billy, she realized how cold it actually was. 
“Come on, you’ll freeze your cute little ass off.”, Billy said making Y/N stop in her tracks. Y/N sighs and argues with herself quickly before deciding that she would rather spend time with him than risk getting a cold. She opens the door of his car and throws herself in. “Why are you out here all alone princess? “, Billy asks and starts to drive. “I just like to cool down the temperature of my body to match my heart you know? “, she answered back sarcastically making Billy chuckle. Billy wasn’t asking anymore questions after he saw that her eyes were teary and her nose was all red and sniffly, he realized that she wasn’t in the most talkative mood and didn`t mind because he wasn’t either. 
Both of them were silent but it wasn’t an awkward silence, it was actually soothing. The radio was on and music was playing while Y/N looked out the window, yet she noticed how Billy kept glancing at her. 
“Take a pic Hargrove it’ll last longer “, she groans making him chuckle. “Just wondering why you won’t tell me your name “, he shrugs and focuses back on the road. 
It caught Y/N off guard because she didn’t think that he would still think about that, she actually thought that he would ask her again why she was out alone. Y/N smirks and then turns her head to look at him.
 His left hand was steering while his right hand was lightly grabbing the stick. The sleeves of his denim jacket were rolled halfway up, and Y/N could see a few veins pop out because they were so muscular. 
But she also noticed a few darker patches on his arms and a few fresh scratches, she brushed it off not thinking much about it and then her eyes wander to his face. His eyes were focused on the road and his eyelashes were so long and thick that one would think he was wearing eyeliner. His shirt was half-buttoned up exposing his chest and the locket laying on it. 
Still there was something off about this look. He looked different from what he usually looked like. Also, his hair was messier than it normally was, and Y/N could tell that it wasn’t intended to look like that. 
„Why do you need to know? “, Y/N asks quickly before he would notice that she was staring at him now. Billy chuckles. 
„I just like to know the people I’m picking up off the streets in the middle of the night and drive them around, you know? “, he chuckles. Y/N scoffs. 
“You don’t have to drive me around I was fine walking by myself Billy.” She goes to grab the handle of the door pretending as if she would get out before Billy leans over and grabs her arm stopping her. 
He laughs softly, and Y/N turns her head to look at him. Both of their eyes meet, and Billys face was closer to her face than she had expected.Both swallow and Billy presses down on the break making the car stop abruptly. 
Suddenly Y/N notices a dark patch under Billy’s right eye. Billy was too focused to look into her (y/e/c) eyes when Y/N puts her hand on his face.
“What happened? “, she asks quietly. Billy takes a deep breath and clenches his jaw then pulls back and sits back down in his seat turning his left side of his face away from Y/N. 
“Nothing “, he mutters quietly. Y/N narrows her brows and looks at his hands again. His knuckles were clean, and Y/N knew that he wasn’t just in a fight besides today in school he hadn’t had the bruise yet. 
“Billy”, Y/N says quietly and straightens herself up in the car and turns her whole body towards him, now sitting sideways in the seat. 
“I got into a fight what else do you think?!”, Billy said with his voice getting louder by every word. Before Y/N could ask anything else he starts driving again. “Where to?”, he asks aggressively pressing down on the gas pedal making Y/N fall back in her seat a little bit. 
Y/N takes a deep breath and gives him the directions he had to drive. He pulls a cigarette out of the box and holds it up to Y/Ns face. “You mind?”, he asks before putting it between his lips. Y/N shakes her head and Billy gets out his lighter and lights the end of his cigarette while driving. Y/N watches him as he rolls down the window and lets out a smoke cloud out of the window. 
The car ride was silent, and the air was filled with lots of questions for Y/N, but she didn’t want to ask him anymore since he also didn’t ask her anything and she appreciated that earlier from him. 
Once he had pulled up to the house Y/N gets out and turns around and leans down to look back into the car. 
“Hey Tiger. Keep this”, she motions with her hand between the two of them. “To yourself. I have a reputation to lose in this town.” 
She gains a soft chuckle from Billy and realizes how she lightened up the mood then closes the door. She starts to walk to the house and when she hears the engine start and sees him drive away, she walks to the back of the house and then over the street. 
She walks up the street and passes three houses until she makes it to her actual house then makes her way to her room the same way she made it out. Y/N wasn’t the brightest at school, but she wasn’t stupid enough to trust Billy Hargrove fully and tell him where she lives.
She already told Steve, she knows what she is doing.
PART 1
Part 3 ??? yes no??
Taglist Consimilar
@heartbreakcity @captain-blossom @marslovesme
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Resource Management, pt24
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Word Count: 1897 Tags: @supermoonpanda @rayleyanns @sistasarah-sallysaidso @feelmyroarrrr @anyakinamidala @dirajunara @little-study-bug @rampant-salamander @goodnightwife @samaxraph99 @anotherotter  @outside-the-government @kingarthurscat @coyote-in-space @originalpottervengerlock @dolamrothianlady @curiositywillbethedeathofme @superheroesofbothuniverses @mtriestowrite @wanderingkat77
It was probably stupid to go home, not knowing if Garrett was going to want me back. I couldn’t see him needing me, but he was crazy enough to want to kill me, and it gave me pause. But I wanted clean clothes, and a shower, and something to eat. I wanted the comfort of my own home. I wanted to hold my passport in my hand, and know that if the world stayed completely upside down, I could escape home, into the forests of northern BC, and not worry about anyone coming after me. Of course, once again, I had no way into my apartment. Fortunately, once again, my super was a champ about letting me in. This time, however, he had more to say about my job.
“Did you even know, Annie? Sometimes the grunts don’t know,” he muttered.
“I had no idea, Bob.” It was true. I still didn’t have the details, but I’d known there was a HYDRA infiltration. But we’d never had the chance to figure out how deeply it went. Cecelia Banks was a genius.
“The grunts never know.” He patted me on the shoulder and pushed my door open.
“Thanks, Bob.”
“What are you going to do now?” He asked.
“Good question. I don’t know,” I admitted.
“You let me know if you need anything, sweetie. You’re a good tenant, and good people,” he rested his hand on my arm.
“Thanks, Bob.” I closed my door and went directly to the bathroom. I started running the tub, hot, and full of Epsom salts and bubbles, and poured myself a full tumbler of whiskey. I stripped down and dropped my clothes in the hamper before padding back to the tub, glass in hand. I slipped under the bubbles and sighed. I wasn’t able to let go of everything, but I released a fair amount of tension just letting the heat soak into me. I leaned my head against the tub surround and closed my eyes.
I must have nodded off. I heard a knock on my door, and realized my water had gone cold. I slipped out of the tub and into my bathrobe. I crept to the door as quietly as I could and peered out the peephole. There was no one there, at least, no one I could see. There was no way I was opening the door. I stepped away and went to get dressed.
I made myself a peanut butter sandwich and flopped down to turn on CNN. I wanted to know what all was going on. I kept the volume low, and heard a knock on my door again. This time I ignored it. I heard the door unlatch and open and dropped to the floor in front of my couch.
“Annie, it’s Bob. I have something for you,” he called. I crawled around the living room and came up behind my cracked open door. I peered through the peephole again to make sure he was alone. He was.
“Let me open the door, Bob.” I shut it and unlatched the chain to pull the door open. Bob stepped in, his grey work coat pulled closed. He pulled a gun and holster out and handed it to me.
“This is my service revolver, honey. I’ve been glued to the TV since that first flying ship came down. You need it more than I do.” He dug in his pockets and pulled out a couple of box of bullets.
“Bob, I can’t –“
“Way I see it, kiddo, you have to. You’re not the kind of girl to not be some kind of important. And if you aren’t with the terrorists, it means they’ll be looking for you. My money says you probably have some secrets tucked in your brain that someone would kill to keep quiet. Take the gun. You’re from the Midwest somewhere, right?” He interrupted.
“I’m from western Canada –“
“I’m pretty sure I have your mom’s address in St. Louis on your lease. I’ll forward anything important to you there,” he cut me off again with a wink. “You should really think about going home for a visit until this blows over.”
He shuffled back out the door and disappeared down the hallway. I felt sick. He’d worked for one of the agencies for years, and if he thought I should run, he was probably right. I went to start packing. I pulled out my backpack and carefully picked the stitching out of the big maple leaf badge. I only packed a couple of days worth of clothes, as I had lost my purse in the safe house somewhere, so had only the cash that was stuffed in the mason jar in the back of my baking cupboard to get me anywhere. And considering I’d already raided it once recently, there wasn’t much left. I changed into the same cargo pants and sweatshirt I’d worn the last time I’d be ‘on the run’, hoping for similar luck. It was a moment of weakness, but I really wanted Phil to sweep in and save the day. I wasn’t usually a Disney princess, but this time I really wanted to be rescued.
I grabbed a few things that I couldn’t live without, just in case I wouldn’t be coming back, and tucked them away in an inner pocket in my bag. I slipped my laptop into the padded back panel and zipped it closed. I took a final look around my apartment, mentally saying goodbye to my books. Everything else was replaceable, but the books would be a loss if I couldn’t return. I opened my desk to dig around for my passport, and couldn’t find it. I opened the next drawer and moved the papers in it around, but it wasn’t there either. I double checked the first drawer again and checked my night table. No passport. I knew it hadn’t been in my purse, I’d only used to it to replace the ID that had gone up in the first attack on the Triskelion, and clearly remembered putting it back in my desk. I pulled every single item out of both drawers, but my passport was gone. The small envelope that I kept my Canadian ID in was also missing. Someone was trying to trap me in the USA.
My heart started racing again. I had about forty bucks in cash and no identification. It was going to make a border crossing difficult. I could hear voices in the hall, and what sounded like the crackle of a radio. It stopped right outside my door. I slid everything back into my desk and peered out the peephole. A couple of guys carrying guns in black tactical gear were gesturing to one another. I backed away from the door and headed to the kitchen window. I looked out, but didn’t see anyone watching the window. Whoever they were, like Garrett, they were underestimating me. I slid my window open and hopped onto the fire escape. I climbed down to the alley and walked away from my building as calmly as I could. When I was sure I was clear, I sped up and didn’t look back until I was on the metro on the way toward the bus station.
It was dark in New York City when I got off the bus. I’d bought the ticket for the busiest place I could think of, where I had the best chance of blending into the crowd. It wasn’t until I was halfway there that I thought that I might be able to track down Tony Stark at the Avengers Tower.
I walked into the lobby of the building and approached the security desk.
“Can I help you?” The security guard was old, and his shoulders stooped forward a little. His silver hair was brushed straight back, and he had a big bushy mustache that reminded me of my granddad. I couldn’t help but smile at him.
“I need to see Mr. Stark.”
“It’s 10:30,” he put me off.
“If I know Tony, that means he should just be cranking the stereo in the lab,” I nodded. If he was here, I thought. The guard raised his eyebrows and looked down at the computer screen. He typed something in.
“He would have left a name if he was expecting anyone. There’s no list for tonight.” He shook his head.
“If you could just call up to him?” I implored.
“If you know Mr. Stark, like you say you do, you know he doesn’t like being bothered when he’s working,” the guard typed something else into the computer.
“I do know that,” I said, “but this is kind of an emergency.”
A tall redhead walked off the elevator towards us, talking on the phone.
“No, I’m telling you, this is a total mess. A building was literally destroyed by a helicarrier with one of our new proprietary engines in it, and I’m going to be doing damage control for days about why you have terrorists using your tech. So no, Tony, I am not coming back upstairs,” she sounded flustered, and the hair, coupled with the conversation, made me realize she was Pepper Potts. I wanted to reach out and grab her, but she looked over and saw me standing there and stopped.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Potts, I told her –“
“Who are you?” She interrupted the security guard. Tony was still on the other end of the phone, I could see the timer on the screen counting up airtime.
“Anna Ellis.” If I said it louder than I needed to, it was because I saw that the call was still live. Potts jerked her head away from the phone and glared at me.
“How do I know you’re Anna Ellis?” She demanded.
“Please, Ms. Potts. I don’t have any ID and I have three dollars and ninety-six cents left. I have nowhere else to go.” I wanted to sit down and cry.
“But how do I know you’re who you say you are?” She put the phone down on the counter between us and hit the speaker button. Tony didn’t say a word.
“Tony brought a bunch of art into my office a few weeks ago,” I started.
“Too easy.” They said it in unison.
“The Starry Night was fake, but the Sunflowers were real. The hideous art deco Iron Man print was the real focal point of the room though,” I continued. Potts shook her head, still not convinced.
“He added pages to my Thor scrapbook that wound up having some sort of computer chip embed in them that allowed him to hack the SHIELD servers and discover Agent Coulson was still alive,” I concluded. I had nothing else. Potts went pale.
“Phil Coulson?” She shrieked, “Tony, Phil is alive and you didn’t tell me?” If she’d been able to beat him through the phone, I think she would have. The elevator doors opened and Tony stepped out, then stepped back in. Potts spun around and stalked toward the mirrored doors, practically glowing red with rage.
“Pepper –“
“Oh no you –“
“Pepper, Annie needs me alive if I’m going to help her.” He cut her off and darted around her, pocketing the phone. I was so relieved on seeing him that I slumped down against the security desk and started to cry.
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joblessblue · 7 years
Text
Unknown
Sooooo. For years now i’ve been trying to write this story. And this last week i got in a group chat in kakaotalk with some VERY TALENTED PEOPLE. Like, a lot of genius. And one of these angels (Kasia, sweetheart, if you’re reading this, know this is mostly bcs of you) has incentivated me to translate and keep writing my story. So I have translated from portuguese (with my very poor english, so sorry in advance) and as the very talented people has incetivated me to, i’m now posting the very beginning of it. I will be posting under the tag unknown story bcs i haven’t chosen i name for it yet. I will probably not post it regularly, but i will try to continue. I’m intending to be a horror/suspense lgbtq+ inclusive story. I don’t believe it’s a fic and I may change names through the story (since i’m never pleased with the names). Okay, i think this is it. Here we go then.
Chapter 1
– Mary, run! – my mother screamed to me before dying once again.
As always, I’ve woken up yelling because of the same stupid nightmare. Another usually bizarre day. When I’ve finally came to my senses, questioned myself how many of my mornings had begun that way. Time had passed, almost 3 years, and yet, I haven’t got used to it.
– Good morning, baby – shouted Erika from downstairs.
I was sure she could feel my eyes rolling from the kitchen because she knew how much I hated that fucking stupid nickname. Even she had gotten used to my yelling routine at this point. As everything else in my life, she was weird, but our relationship was, by far, the easiest thing in my life.
I got up and tripped my way to my bathroom in my early morning state. I couldn’t barely recognize the adult in the big mirror looking at me. She had the same lost girl expression that I’ve always seen in the pictures from the time when my parents adopted me. An unique appearance. A girl with a mane of fiercely bright red hair and wide very dark eyes contrasting with sickly pale skin. And that by itself would make me look strange, but I also had the tattoos.
It wasn’t really tattoos though, since I’ve never made it. Since my first memory, waking up in the trash can, bathed in blood, I have these tattoos. It has always been there, all over my back, and shoulders, going down to my tummy and in spiral through my arms. It was impossible not to notice it or its very complex pattern in a blue color, that had darkened with the years. When I was adopted, my parentes would dress me in cute clothes and try to hide the tattoos in sleeves and gloves. They were never really able to hide my lethal appearance. I still was the four-year-old girl who woke up bathed in blood and without any memories.
Well, the one looking at me in the mirror was 16 years older and a lot more had happened to her. My body barely reached 1,65 m, I was very strong although. I was able to defend myself physically and with an weapon, perks of being a belic engineer and a personal security’s daughter. Even after my parents died i stayed in form, always discounting my anger energy in my training.
Everyone close to me had died. Mom, dad, Anastasia… Only Erika was alive.
Anastasia was my only friend in my little time in school, her only mistake. After she died, my parents took me out of school since everybody knew it was my fault, not even the teachers would look at me. The pure and sweet girl who wasn’t afraid of the devil that everybody was sure that i was had died and it was my fault. Everybody believe so, even me, and years later i found out that everyone was right. It was my fault, I was the one endangering and hurting the ones close to me.
After that i gave up on make friendships, but people around me kept dying, what made me be constantly moving. Between the fourth and fifth death I realized that I was the pattern, something was coming for those close to me, that wanted me alone. Around that time, I made my first attempt to run away. I loved my parents too much, it wasn’t safe for them. Of course, my mother realized my intentions at a glance, she already had noticed the pattern, she knew that it would come the day that I would try to do that.
Mother convinced me that they weren’t in danger, since it had been 4 years now and they still were alive. After that I made my best to be apart from everyone. I wouldn’t speak out of the house, started to show my tattoos all the time and to use what Erika called “mirror look”. She said that every time I use this look in someone the person can see every bad thing that they had done, the worst of them. I got so used to my “mirror stare” that it turned automatic. Not even that kept my parents away.
My parents were the most adorable, dangerous and mysterious people in universe. You could live with them for years, as I did, and never hear they talk about their childhood or families. It was like their life begun after getting married and adopting me. Never heard a thing about their parents but a thousand of times about how they’ve met each other. At that moment, facing the mirror, I could almost year my father’s voice narrating it to me…
“– Your mother has always been crazy about me. You know that, uh? She would hit me with a pick-up line every day, but I never listened to her. – he would say while washing the dishes.
– Greg, if you’re going to tell this old story, do it right. – she would complain while had a smile in the corner of her lips. Then, she would sit by my side, take my hand, and give me a long and loving look – You should marry someone that loves you as much as your dad has always loved me. He would always be around me in College, like a ghost in the corner of my eye. One day, i just had enough of his silliness and asked what was wrong with him. You know what he answered? – at that point, dad would have blushed until the tip of his hair and have a timid smile – He said in one breath “WOULDYOUGOONADATEWITHME?”. I was shocked.
– But you said yes – he would say, touching her shoulder with the brightest of the love eyes.
– Yes, I did. And two years after that I said it again, in front of the notary, signing our wedding papers. – by that time, he would be sitting next to us. Their hands would be clasped and they would look at me. With his loving eyes glaring me, my father would say
– After some time, looking for you was just a natural thing. You were the most natural thing for us. No other child would endure our daily lives. We loved you since we met you, honey.
At that moment, the love in the room was almost tangible.”
I missed them so much.
I came back to my senses and placed my childhood memories in the bottom of my mind. If I kept remembering them I wouldn’t be able to keep going and I needed to keep going because I craved for revenge. My only reason to wake up every day, my vengeance was my reason in life.
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resamille · 7 years
Text
pained noise @mothable tagged me here we go
RULES: ANSWER THESE 88, THEN TAG SOME PEOPLE
BASICS:
a. NAME AND PRONOUNS: sesa, she/her
b. AGE (and birthday!): 18, aug. 12th
c. SEXUALITY: demisexual
d. GENDER: female
e. COUNTRY: usa
f. FAVORITE AESTHETIC: ????? distressed bear noises
TRIGGERS/MENTAL ILLNESSES: nah
THE LAST:
1. DRINK: water
2. PHONE CALL:  uhm i think i got a call from north carolina that i ignored or maybe a friend of mine that i also ignored bc i was bout to take a nap oops sorry
3. TEXT MESSAGE: "good”
4. SONG YOU LISTENED TO: 100 letters by halsey
5. THE TIME YOU CRIED: uhhhh??? squints i think when I was reading the last chapter of crowd pleaser that was good shit
HAVE YOU:
6. DATED SOMEONE TWICE: like the same person??? yeah actually.
7. KISSED SOMEONE AND REGRETTED IT: idk tbh so no i guess
8. BEEN CHEATED ON: i mean not that i know of
9. LOST SOMEONE SPECIAL: yeah. 
10. BEEN DEPRESSED: wiggly hand gesture?? 
11. GOTTEN DRUNK AND THROWN UP: nope
TOP 3 FAVORITE COLORS
12. don’t ask
13. this question
14. bc i can never fuckin decide
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. MADE NEW FRIENDS: yes
16. FALLEN OUT OF LOVE: uhm. yeah uhm.
17. LAUGHED UNTIL YOU CRIED: yeah like last night jfc
18. FOUND OUT SOMEONE WAS TALKING ABOUT YOU: idk
19. MET SOMEONE WHO CHANGED YOU: yes
20. FOUND OUT WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE: uh no? idk not really
21. KISSED SOMEONE ON YOUR FACEBOOK LIST: the fuck uh i guess so??? i dont understand the question wtf is facebook >:(
GENERAL
22. HOW MANY OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE: mo st of th em????
23. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS: yup. a westie named shadowfax and two tiny ocean dogs aka crabs named ash and cedar.
24. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR NAME: nah i’m good.
25. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOU LAST BIRTHDAY: i... have no idea.
26. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY: like 12:30pmish
27. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT: crying on discord bc that fucking vc lmAO
28. NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN’T WAIT FOR: can i steal mattie’s answer bc i’m stealing mattie’s answer fucking VLD S3 i’m so pumped give me more of my boys
29. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR MOM: like two hours ago
30. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE: contentedness? does that count. i’m doing the thing so it counts >:(
31. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW: shit i wish i could say a better song but love me harder by ariana grande fuck
32. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO A PERSON NAMED TOM: uhh...... yES ACTUALLY
33. SOMETHING THAT IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES: cries a lot about my computer being a bitch and girls leaving hair on shower walls please stop leaving hair on shower walls it makes me sad and is gross and i will cry
LOST QUESTIONS
34. MOLE(S): no?
35. MARK(S): i have a scar on my hand from who the fuck knows where and a permanent mark on my lip from junior year when I kept crewing on them so much that my lip scarred
36. CHILDHOOD DREAM: wait like. a dream you had as a child or idk i’m gonna copy the same way mattie answered so like. either vet or singer.
37. HAIR COLOR: red
38. LONG OR SHORT HAIR: long??? people always tell me it is but my perception of it is like. mediumish.
39. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON SOMEONE: its?? complicated???
40. WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: hahahaa uuhhhhh once i’m board with something i dive headfirst into a project
41. PIERCINGS: nope
42. BLOODTYPE: lmao idk fam
43. NICKNAME(S): kevin, seesaw, sesy, and a plethora of others tbh i can’t keep track
44. RELATIONSHIP STATUS: hahaha loud squawking
45. ZODIAC: leo
46. PRONOUNS: still she/her i’m pretty sure?
47. FAVORITE TV SHOW: nyohohohoho vld probs tho that’s like a recent thing if i had to vote like. alltime i’d probs say like firefly.
48. TATTOOS: nah
49. RIGHT OR LEFT HAND: right handed
50. SURGERY: i don’t think?? i’ve had any
51. HAIR DYED A DIFFERENT COLOR: nope i’m good my parents would probably cry if i did
52. SPORT: i once played basketball and soccer. i used to swim a lot too. also kung fu if that counts but like. i ain’t done shit since 8th grade so. i guess the real answer is no.
53. VACATION: going to didneyland (again) at the end of july :))
54. PAIR OF TRAINERS: what
MORE GENERAL
55. EATING: i wish
56. DRINKING: water
57. I’M ABOUT TO: crave death because i gotta edit my gen bb or maybe outline that one au so still craving death.
58. WAITING FOR: uh ?????????? vld idk man like. let me have that goodass lance content in S3
59. WANT: idk lmao
60. GET MARRIED: sure. someday.
61. CAREER: civil engineer c:
62. HUGS OR KISSES: tbh hugs
63. LIPS OR EYES: there’s??? a preference??? 
64. SHORTER OR TALLER: what uhhhh tbh i don’t. i don’t really care.
65. OLDER OR YOUNGER: see previous answer
66. NICE ARMS OR NICE STOMACH: probs nice stomach rip
67. SENSITIVE OR LOUD: idk man????? i’m loud half the time and people i know are loud so like. i’m indifferent.
68. HOOK UP OR RELATIONSHIP: relationship
69. TROUBLEMAKER OR HESITANT: uhhhh honestly probably hesitant, i say, while starting 5808453254 big bangs
HAVE YOUR EVER:
70. KISSED A STRANGER: nope
71. DRANK HARD LIQUOR: nope
72. LOST GLASSES/CONTACT LENSES: nope
73. TURNED SOMEONE DOWN: yup
74. SEX ON THE FIRST DATE: nope
75. BROKEN SOMEONE’S HEART: uhm. yeah maybe.
76. HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN: wiggly hand gesture. not exactly?
77. BEEN ARRESTED: nah
78. CRIED WHEN SOMEONE DIED: okay same mattie about the dog thing everyone i know who’s died has been like. distant relatives and i’m very unempathetic so. do fictional characters count. bc if so, yes. 
79. FALLEN FOR A FRIEND: haha yeah
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
80. YOURSELF: lm ao uhhhh sureeeee on a goodday
81. MIRACLES: yeah but like. as a consequence of believing in God
82. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT: not really
83. SANTA CLAUS: nope
84. KISS ON THE FIRST DATE: why do i have to believe in it it happens anyway what
85. ANGELS: yup, but also as a consequence of believing in God so
OTHER
86. CURRENT BEST FRIENDS NAME(S): @idontevenlogic, Patty who i don’t think has a tumblr so i can’t callout, @fluffytheasianpanda
87. EYECOLOR: blue
88. FAVORITE MOVIE: uHHHHHHHHHHH. IDK MAN. UHM. CANNOT COMPUTE.
tagging: nyohohohohoho @idontevenlogic get crackin friend, @mikiri, @mysticalflyte, @karmadash-is-shippingtrash, @shiros-eyes 
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peachwizard · 7 years
Text
You’re Not Dad
A/N: Not that anyone cares I’ve been hella busy and haven’t had time to literally write anything and I still really don’t, but I’m going to anyways bc I have some inspiration. Enjoy. Feedback is always appreciated(:
Characters: Dean x sister!reader, Sam x sister!reader
Warnings: swearing, angst, overprotective Dean, mention of death, yelling, very close relationship b/w Dean and reader? let me know if I missed anything
Tagging: @winchesters-favorite-girl because I think she might be interested and I really love and look up to her as a writer. I hope you don’t mind.
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You loved your brothers more than anything in the world. I mean, you were practically raised by them. John was never around, your mom was just some quick fuck that John had on a hunt. As soon as demons got word that John Winchester knocked up some chick and he had another child, they came and killed your mother when you were only a few months old. Thankfully, your mom got John on the phone as they were trying to get in and he was in town so he saved you. Not your mom though. Dean had been 16 at the time, Sam was 12. You were by far the baby of the family and Sam and Dean made it their mission to protect you from everything. And when I say everything, I mean literally everything. You were never even supposed to have been born. But nevertheless, here you were seventeen years later, alive and kicking, living in the bunker with Sam and Dean, the two best brothers in the entire world.
“Y/N/N!” Dean shouted, “Sammy and I are headed out on another hunt! We should be back in three days!”
As soon as you heard the word hunt you came sprinting down the hallway from your room with your bag packed and in hand. When you stopped in front of Dean you had a bright smile on your face, but he just gave you a questioning look. “What are you doing?” he asked, but he already knew.
“I am all packed and ready to go!” 
“No... you aren’t. Because you aren’t coming.”
“Awwww come on Dean! Please! I have been training so hard! I run with Sam every morning! I think it’s about time for me to go on my first hunt!”
His face got very hard, “Nope. No way. Not gonna happen. Go back to your room, I’m gonna lock the door, then I’ll call Cas and have him let you out in an hour.”
“What?! No! Dean! Please! I’m ready! Plus every time Cas babysits he makes me watch the same bee documentary over and over again!”
You both had a silent stare down, and after what felt like an eternity, you both yelled out for Sam. “SAM!!!!”
He came running in, frantic, like someone was in danger, “What? What’s wrong? Y/N? Are you okay?” He immediately started looking over you like you had some hidden injury he couldn’t see.
You pushed him off, “I’m fine, Sammy. Dean just won’t let me go on this hunt.”
Sam looked over at Dean with a questioning look, and then his expression changed like he was agreeing with you. Dean quickly spoke up against this, “No. No, no, no, no, no. Sam I called you in here to help me, not to allow my baby sister on this hunt. Besides, she has school! You care about her education!”
“I’m on spring break dumbass!”
Sam intervened before you both started going at it again, “Dean, don’t you think it’s about time we let her come? We had been hunting way before her anyways. If we keep telling her no, there is going to be backlash, and she might just go out on her own without us, without any back up. At least this way we know she is safe with us.”
You squealed and hugged Sam. “Thank you thank you thank you! I’ll go help pack the car!” You took off towards the garage with your bag, but once you got to the door you turned around, ran back to grab both Sam and Dean’s bags, too, and took off again.
Once the boys where sure you were gone, Dean looked at Sam like he was imagining his murder. “How the hell could you do this? What if something happens to her? Are you insane? Do you even care about her?”
Sam rolled his eyes and gave Dean his infamous bitch face, “Dean, it’s just a small vamp nest. She will be fine. She knows what she is doing.”
Dean took a step closer to Sam and narrowed his eyes, “If something happens to her because of this I will kill you.” Dean turned and walked away while Sam stood there in shock for an extra moment. If you ended up with any injuries, Sam was sure Dean was actually going to kill him.
After the hunt, which turned out to be a giant vamp nest instead of what the boys originally thought was a small one, you all returned to the motel. The hunt was successful in your eyes, all the vamps were dead, but to Dean this hunt was one of the biggest failures of his life. The atmosphere was tense, and you were terrified. Once the impala stopped, you hauled ass into the motel room to try to get in the shower to avoid Dean, but it didn’t work. He came storming through the door, grabbed your arm, and sat you on the edge of bed. Sam came in after, quietly closed the door and sat at the small table, watching what was about to happen only to make sure Dean didn’t take things too far.
You kept your eyes trained on the floor as Dean paced back and forth in front of you for a good five minutes before he stopped and spoke in a deadly calm voice, “Look at me.” You refused to meet his eyes and could feel tears building up in the back of yours. His voice suddenly became giant and booming like thunder, “I said LOOK AT ME Y/N Y/M/N WINCHESTER.”
You reluctantly looked up at him, and oh god, you wish you wouldn’t have, his entire body was fuming, you thought he was going to explode from rage. His voice returned to the deadly calm it was before, “What the hell were you thinking?” You refused to answer, so he spoke again, “Let me try this only one more time. What. The. Fuck. Were. You. Thinking.”
Sam decided to cut in, “Dean -”
“Shut up, Sam! You aren’t involved in this.” Sam looked like he wanted to argue, but held his tongue.
“Y/N.” Dean repeated, he looked at you expectantly.
You gulped and started to speak softly, fighting back tears, “I..I..I was think-thinking.... that... that,” you quickly reached up to wipe at your eye to prevent the tear that was about to escape from falling, “I was thinking that.... that... you were about to die.... so.. I... I.... I.... was gonna save you....”
You had a nasty gash on the side of your arm, but that would have been Dean’s chest if you hadn’t jumped in front of him to stop that vamp. 
Dean laughed a laugh you hadn’t ever heard before, and you were terrified. “You thought that you dying was a better option than me dying?” He laughed again.
“Yes.”
“Yes sir.” He snapped back at you.
That brought the tears you had been so vigorously fighting, you let out an awful sob. You started to violently shake your head. “No,” you whispered.
“I’m sorry, what was that Y/N?”
You kept crying and shaking your head ignoring Dean.
“Y/N!” He shouted in his loud booming voice that sounded so much like your dad that it made you flinch, “You speak when you are spoken to. Do you understand me?”
You kept shaking your head, and then said in a quiet voice, “No... You’re not dad.... You’re not dad.... You’re not my dad.” You said it like you were trying to convince yourself.
Dean laughed that menacing laugh again, “The hell I’m not,” he started to raise his voice as he spoke, “What really is a dad Y/N? What does that word mean? Who raised you? Who made sure you were always fed? Who took care of you when you were sick? Who took you and picked you up from school? Who taught you right from wrong? Who taught you-”
“ENOUGH!” Sam hollered. “Dean, what the hell is wrong with you? You’re her older brother. Not her dad, not our dad. Dean. You’re not dad.” Dean looked like he wanted to respond, but Sam gave him a soft look and glanced over to where you were violently sobbing making Dean really look at you, “You don’t want to be dad.”
Dean’s face softened a little as he looked at you. Sam approached you and he touched your shoulder softly. You flinched away, but as soon as you looked up and saw it was Sam you threw yourself into his arms and started crying harder if that was even possible. He held you tight and started stroking your hair, “It’s okay, Y/N/N. You’re okay. I’m here.” You stayed like that for who knows how long before Sam suggested you go take a shower, so you did just that.
Once you were gone, Sam and Dean sat down at the table. Dean was nursing a beer and Sam was glaring at him. “What the hell is wrong with you Dean?”
“I don’t know what you are talking about, Sammy.”
Sam gave shot Dean his bitch face, “Get the fuck over yourself, Dean. What the hell was that? Yelling at her like that? You know how hard dad always was on her, and then to compare yourself to him? What the fuck man?”
Dean just kept his stare on the table, so Sam continued, “You know how she looks at you, Dean. You know you are her hero. Her entire goddamn world. The man who is always going to be there to love her and protect her and take care of her. You know she thinks of you as her dad. Her real dad. God knows our real dad was never there for her except to scream at her, and then to rub it in her face like that? To make her feel shit about it? To compare the man she sees as her father with her actual one? You seriously fucked up. And I don’t know how you are going to get out of this one.” 
Dean still kept looking at that same spot on the table and Sam knew he wasn’t going to respond. When they heard the shower turn off Sam got up and grabbed the keys. “I’m going out to get dinner. This better be fixed by the time I get back.”
You stood in the bathroom for an extra five minutes, dreading going back out into the room with Dean. You heard Sam’s footsteps go out the door followed by the impala’s engine, so you knew that you two were alone. And you were terrified. You finally gathered up the courage and walked out of the bathroom, putting your dirty clothes into your duffel. Dean was still sitting at the kitchen table with the same beer in his hand, left untouched since Sam started talking to him.
“Hey princess,” Dean softly spoke up once he heard you finish shuffling around in your bag, “Would you come sit here for a second? Talk to me? ...... Only if you want to.. of course.”
You debated for a second before slowly walking over and pulling out the chair across from him and sat down. You already felt tears coming on again, why were you so weak? Dea- dad. Dad. Dad. Dad would be pissed at you right now for crying. Not Dean. Dean says it’s okay to cry. Dean says it’s okay to express how you are feeling. The problem was you didn’t know who was across from you at that moment.
Dean looked at you and saw you were avoiding his eyes, “Could you look at me? Please baby?”
You reluctantly looked up at him, and knew he could tell you were on the verge of crying, you could tell he was too. No one else would be able to tell though, except for maybe Sam. He gave you a soft smile, you both were looking right into each others’ eyes, “Hey baby....” he started, but you immediately started sobbing. He rushed to push his chair out  and open his arms, and as soon as he was free from under the table you got up and ran to sit in his lap and cuddle with him, just like when you were little. He quietly shushed you. He started rocking you and stroking your back, “It’s okay sweetheart. You’re okay. I’m right here baby girl. I’m right here. I’m so sorry for yelling at you like that, baby. I’m so so so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”
He kept on going on and on, and you could tell that he was crying now too. You looked up from where you had your face buried in his neck and wiped his eyes. He grabbed your hands and kissed them. “I’m okay sweetheart, don’t worry about me.”
You gave him a sad smile, “I always worry about you, De.” You stared crying hard again, “I’m sorry for putting myself in danger, De. I’m sorry. I just couldn’t live in a world where you didn’t exist. I saw he was- he was about to kill you and I just reacted. I can’t live without you De. I can’t.” You were crying so hard, Dean was trying to wipe your tears, but to no avail.
“Shhh. Shhh. It’s okay Y/N/N. I’m right here. Okay? I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going anywhere, you’re not going anywhere, Sammy’s not going anywhere, okay?”
You nodded and put your face back in his neck, looking at where both of your hand were still held in his giant one. Once you both calmed down, he spoke again, “I’m sorry for acting like dad. He was a sorry excuse for a father and I acted just like him. I know how scared of him you were and I did it anyways. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Dean. I know you were scared. I would have gotten mad at you too.”
“Yeah, but there was no reason for me to act like dad. No excuses baby.”
“Okay... but I still forgive you.”
Dean stood up and carried you with him to the bed you were sharing. You immediately snuggled up against him. “You know, for the record Dean, you are my dad.” He looked at you questioningly. “In every way that possibly counts, you’re my dad, Dean. And I love you.”
Dean gave you the brightest smile you think you’ve ever seen from him, at least since dad disappeared and all this shit started. “I love you too, baby girl. I want you to always know that. No matter what, I always love you.”
A little while later Sam came through the door with bags of fast food. What he saw brought a smile to his face, you and Dean cuddled up asleep in bed. He knew that you and Dean had a special bond. He knew that you and him had always been really close, and had gotten even closer when Sam left for Stanford. He was unbelievably happy that you both worked it out, and hoped that you finally told Dean how you really looked at him, even if everyone already knew it, Sam knew Dean needed to hear it.
Sam decided that the food could be heated up. He decided he would shower and then go to sleep in the other bed beside you and Dean. He gave you both one last look, happy to see his favorite people in the world at peace and lightly smiling as they slept.
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