#and my dreams are generally weird

[lnkedmyheart]

Today in my dream, Chuuya cracked an egg on Dazai's forehead and instead of the egg cracking, Dazai started cracking till he fell to pieces and then Chuuya sagely said "things fall apart".

#i rarely dream about fictional characters #and my dreams are generally weird #i once dreamt of meeting Siyeon which is a strange thing for me cause of my whole 'never meet you fave' philosophy #but in that dream she at my school for a fansign and I was waiting in line but my teacher called me and told me to get Siyeon a pen #cause she was out of ink #so obviously I decided to ride my bike all the way back hom to get her a pen instead of finding one AT SCHOOL #and somehow I rode across the desert plains a thunderstorm and across several massive hills for a pen #and when I finally got back the fansign was over

[katabay]

ONCE UPON A TIME, THERE WAS A KNIGHT...

the visual inspiration for this was a combination of Frederic William Burton's Meeting on the Turret Stairs and also Bernardo Cavallino's The vision of St. Dominic receiving the Rosary from the Virgin

this was supposed to be just a one off illustration to get the thoughts out of my system, but then I started thinking about medieval politics and warfare and plagues and a castle and home as both a place of refuge, a prison, and a tomb, so perhaps they will end up as ex voto characters as well.

you may say, hey! that rosary looks like it has too many beads! it's a fifteen decade rosary, probably. dominicans are really into marian devotions. it works out.

also. spiral style stair cases. oh boy. it was that unexpectedly more difficult than I originally thought it would be to draw. the more I think about it, the less I understand them, even though I had a million photos of the stairs in front of me while I was drawing it.

⭐ I have a tip jar (ko-fi)!

⭐ and other places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app

#the economy and my bank account are in shambles and i ended up stress drawing this whole thing in one go #its so many lines. the next time i draw this. because i will be revisiting this composition. i want to use a different inking brush #i think. but the next time i draw this it will be with solid blacks on the stair case steps i think #hey here's a fun fact for those of you who aren't catholic. did you know that kissing the ring of the pope/a cardinal/etc #grants you an indulgence. cardinals also used to kiss the pope on the mouth. also foot and hand iirc. anyway #there are no cardinals in this drawing but im saying if you write medieval/renaissance smut about men of the cloth #you can really amp up the friction between holy and seductive with a lot of the (gestures vaguely) that. #actually another fun fact about cardinals. their fun sun hat (it's called a galero) has some fucking weird as hell fever dream (literally) #origin lore. so if seductive isn't your thing. the horror of a thing that you wear is also extremely fun #esp when you get into medieval gender performances of clothes and how they define a person etc #generic medieval tag #original tag

[lbhslefttiddie]

youve heard of sex flowers get ready for the flower that makes you into a celestial shoujo herione complete with particle effects you cannot turn the fuck off and creates a wifebeam so powerful it can incapacitate and maim and keeps making you burst into tears and fall on your ass which makes the wifebeam More Powerful and you also cannot turn this off either. and is also still, sort of, a sex flower

from one of my favorite fanfictions, Celestial Afterglow by elanor_pam, a fic that defies description in the best possible way

#arts #shen qingqiu #svsss #listen im not saying that ive spent a cumulative half a year reading this fic and then trying to make an arts for it #and then getting frustrated and stopping because i couldn't figure out how to make sqq shimmery enough #but like. im not NOT saying that #this is the FOURTH time ive started something for this bitch it haunts my fucking dreams and yet the opalescent glittery sqq evades me #perhaps you o unlearned fool look at this and say hmm that's too many colour layers and glowy effects but oh how wrong you are #if it doesnt make you literally fall over yourself at how otherworldly and radiant he is then there is room for improvement yet #perhaps you look at this and you think Wow!!! this gives me literally NO ideas what this fic is about #well Let Me Tell You. i have no fucking idea how to summarize this fic #its not often the tags in a fic give me pause but i saw this and as i read the tags i was increasingly just like What #but i have no idea how to describe it. the tags arent NOT accurate but i was SO unprepared for what happened in like an extremely pos way #if i were tagging this i think i would give it the no archive warnings apply label if that matters to you #the author seemed they wanted to leaned towards over caution rather than risk missing anything re tags because This Is A Weird Fic #but oh my fucking god #i am gripping you by the shoulders i cannot stress enough how charming it is #brilliant characterization especially with airplane in the first scene #and also so much fucking funnier than i thought possible for the general setting summary tags and buildup #its just. ough. its good

[foone]

I dreamed about a lost Star Trek: The Next Generation episode about trans men.

So my grandma had a DVD featuring interviews with the cast of TNG and it had a special feature of this episode that hadn't been completed.

So there was a planet where the local species had a thing like the Gerudo in Zelda, where they seem like a one-gender species, but in reality they have super-rare male births, and that male is the king.

So this almost-single-gender race had gotten access to Starfleet medical technology somehow, and now could trans their gender. This turned out to be super disruptive to their society because they were, like, genetically programmed to obey the King, the only male born on a generation... And now suddenly they had thousands of men, and everything was falling apart. These men had almost-mind-control levels of control over the populace.

So Troi went down (they couldn't send any of the male members of the cast, for obvious reasons) and met up with the (cis) king and was taking him somewhere on the planet, through some flooded caves on a small raft.

An important thing about the aliens: the women looked just like human women, but the men (cis and trans) were all like 4 feet tall with mullets.

Anyway the episode somehow ended with a basketball game in the B-plot, and that was it. They never got back to finishing the A plot about the planet Terrorized by Trans Men.

#my dreams are weird #star trek the next generation

[semiotomatics]

i have a ~dream question~

#this has been an original post #my pollies #polls #dreams #driving #i realized today that while im obvs not the driver in my dreams im also not specifically on public transit most of the time #im just. a passenger #no concept of other passengers or a driver or even what kind of vehicle it is #my dream logic is very much ''if its not relevant to the situation who cares'' #also ''why generate actual human beings when you can just have the vague sense that a place is populated'' #idk why im thinking abt this this morning specifically since last nights dreams didnt even involve being in a vehicle #not the ones i remember anyway #i was just thinking abt patterns in my dreams in general #cause my brain does this weird thing where in all my anxiety dreams im living in the apt i lived in through elementary + part of high school #like yes its the place ive spent the most time in but also. i havent lived there in TWELVE YEARS #and i mean i did hate that place but its not like ALL my trauma was experienced there #its just weird #dreams are weird #clouds dreams

[cosmicwhoreo]

"Why do you look so frightened...?"

BLOOD WARNING Also me questioning the Dreams update thingy for oyster because I'm me-

Okay look, while I myself do like sum good ol' added angst material; I don't really know why she even stole and (maybe) murdered her "friend" in the context the nanny gave. I mean- I get it in the lore-sense to specify how she apparently got "cursed", but that just didn't feel right to me. Because it conflicts with this flavor text in a trivia screen. "Old sailors say that when a mermaid loses her pearl, she will be cursed to descend into the lightless abyss." Soooooooo.... Originally I thought because since she gave her pearl to moron Oyster Senior, she was slowly becoming more and more corrupt along with the growing greed of dumbass. But. she was still putting on a brave and happy front. Because love right? Until eventually Oyster just ran off and completely and literally threw her to the deep end... And THAT'S how she got cursed and bitter. And it seemed to be going the way I figured... More or less, the naivete and growing greed was a new one but eh, I'm flexible. But then the whole petty theft thing happened suddenly and just... Why is it when she steals from her buddy does she THEN get cursed? Is that one different from the first one? does she have two? Is the Nanny's story add-libbed? WHY DID SHE EVEN STEAL FROM THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE, WHAT WAS HER GOAL THERE???

#Thank for coming to my TedTalk where I question and complain about weird story beats for a game I don't even play #I'll be here all week. #IDK man Nanny's story be suspicious as hell #Nanny your character motivations don't make sense #Is it a matter of the story being shifted and edited throughout the generational line? #black pearl cookie #oyster cookie #crunchy dreams event #blood warning #gore content #kinda #cookie run #CRK #cookie run kingdom

[kkoct-ik]

he . um (bestows on him my scarf)

#philza #philza fanart #dream smp #dream smp fanart #not strictly dsmp phil but i generally put my phils there #men wearing headscarves is very important to my gender send post #10 likes and i draw him in my legend of zelda scarf too <- jokes. unless... #also i lied this isnt my scarf its my mums. i think its a heritage item its very stereotypical and smells weird. i like my zelda one more #kostik draws

[trainingdummyrabbit]

ok ive been thinking about it a while but im thinking about angela again. specifically about the way she functions physically, as a machine.

during lobcorp, angela never really did much outside of the whole Perfect Assistant thing. can of worms, but it's not an immediately terribly physically demanding thing. and then, towards ruina, she becomes a bit more active, but still never participates in any of the receptions herself. and then theres the whole Becoming Human thing. but that's not really what im here about.

specifically, im curious if angela can even... get. hurt. at all. weve seen her get swung at a few times during ruina, but even those have their asterisks-- the library's protection, her becoming less mechanical, and so on-- but just on her own, is she just... fine? can she take physical damage?

what im getting at is, how is her upkeep? does she need to worry about any of that at all? i can see her being built to deal with a lot given um. the environment. but mechanics are a delicate thing-- even With the way the setting is. how would repairs even Work? and additionally, has she ever had to deal with them before?

and a step past that, how would they handle that post-lobcorp, when the people responsible for her, the ones who Know how she works, are um. not exactly. able. to. closest one is hokma, but... again, can of worms.

and then, talking about angela's thought processes, how she functions-- i can't imagine she's ever been like... off. for very long. if at all. she's spent a lot of time keeping everything together, keeping things in order, constantly storing and retrieving information and executing processes-- something like that must be pretty strange.

...am i making sense? what im saying is, theres something very interesting to be said about vulnerability, the symbolism of raw mechanics and technology behind a seemingly impenetrable surface of metal, of self-image and fallibility and trust and care.

can you see the line?

wounds can heal and scars can fade, but what about angela?

#piktalk #projmoon #icould be waffling on about nothing but i do Think. #in which General Worrying About Angela kinda spirals into something else. #how weird must it be; to undergo maintenance as a constantly-running process? #to spend so long constantly aware and running and making connections and on and on-- what would happen if she needed to switch off a while? #for someone running on high that intensely-- is the silence long? or is unconsciousness imperceptibly short? ...which is scarier? #and most importantly; to repeat words that still dig deep into my heart-- #will she dream? #much to think about.

[llondonfog]

It simply appeared in the forest one day.

The tower, as all bewildered folk referred to it, was exactly 36,000 bricks high, and ten soldiers could easily link arms around its unassuming circumference. Nearest its capped peak was a small, barred window seemingly chiseled out of the grey stone— hardly wide enough to fit through and dim enough that one could not peer inside to determine just what was hidden inside such a strange phenomenon.

And as bizarre as this all was, perhaps the most oddest of things was the doorknob located at the base of the tower, with not a door in sight. It would not turn for any of the initial curious who had tried it, nor could it be removed, melted, or smashed. There was a magic here, as uneasy murmurings began to grow; a magic even more ancient than that of the forest itself. A magic that ought not to be remembered, the kind that persists in dreams alone and there ought to remain.

Naturally, the Queen could only send her best to investigate, and General Lilia Vanrouge drums his fingers idly against the hilt of his weapon as he watches the various accompanying mages weave all manner of spells against the unyielding stone exterior, each one more ineffective than the last. The use of magic is taking its deadly toll, and he's seen more than one be pulled away, rubbing uselessly at the spots of accumulated blot as the tower endures their attempts to uncover its secrets and grows all the more reticent for it.

"Perhaps we should simply knock and try the door once again?"

His exasperated attempt at humor falls flat over the heads of the wan and weary mages, and before he can raise his hands in mild supplication, he finds himself pushed by rather desperate hands to the very doorknob in question. And while he certainly meant his suggestion in jest, it isn't as if there's anything to lose by following through. Only, he needn't have wondered— the moment his hand folds around the knob and before he can even raise his other arm to knock, the stones surrounding the doorknob smoothly swing inwards as if greased, revealing the most unpredicted of sights to their wide and disbelieving eyes.

Before them, still and pliant on the stone floor as if a doll that had been tossed aside from play, lies of all things a boy. A human one, Lilia's keen gaze notes despite the dumbfounded surprise, with a shock of pale hair and strangely dressed too in what seems to be some kind of military uniform, one that Lilia certainly doesn't recognize; the garments are a gleaming obsidian, acid stripes of green lancing the fabric. All seems to be as pristine as if newly washed and pressed, no evidence in sight of the passage of time dusted upon the silent figure.

"Is he . . . dead?"

Lilia cannot fathom what possesses him to move so roughly past the other mages at that hushed observation despite their startled and disapproving cries, struck by a strange desire to prove the speaker otherwise despite all battle-hardened instincts screaming at him that something about this macabre scene is so terribly, woefully, wrong. But the moment that Lilia's gloved fingers brush against the boy's shoulder, he's met with a tired gaze of the brightest dawn and a yawned greeting that stills the blood in his already frozen heart, the young man stirring to life as he stretches idly as if falling asleep in strange appearing towers was simply a normal occurrence.

"Oh— it's you, Father. How long have I been asleep?"

#twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland silver #twst silver #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge #just me playing with what-ifs :') #what if silver ends up pricking his finger in ch7 and falling asleep #and getting transported to some weird dream alternate realm #where lilia is still a general and has no idea who he is #kicks around in my sandbox #lettie writes

[secretmellowblog]

Me: I'm gonna stop procrastinating and create a Les Mis comic! Finally, I'll draw something related to the main story! Me: Okay step one is doing in depth research on the historical boats of the period (similar to the Orion), what these ships and their harbors would've looked like, and creating an extremely high-effort historically accurate 3D model reflecting that research-- Me: oh god. this is why Victor Hugo does all those history tangents...ive been in the fandom long enough to attempt to start making my own Digressions

#really though I think blocking things out in Blender has made illustration 200000000000 times easier for me #so if I adapt the ship Orion sequence #itll take some time to model a ship #it'll take a Lot of time #but once that's over I could crank out a comic adaptation relatively quickly? #because it's just doing yeah some painstaking handmade linework #but the general lighting/color palette/perspective of the background would be there #and the model wouldn't have to be perfect if I'm just using it as a base/painting over it #my other Easier adaptation I might do as a test first #is Jean Valjean's weird trippy dream sequence before Arras #v beautiful evocative imagery that would be fun to draw #and it wouldnt be complicated either #because it's just 'a town where all the houses are the same' #anyway

[pcktknife]

speaking of nightmares I had a double feature one last night

#first one i was in my grandmas house and i think i had my hand touching on something that really hot and it made my hand clench as a #reaction like it was Stuck. and the skin was either shrinking around my hand or my fingers bones were growing cause it piercing thru my #fingertips and it hurt Alot and i was screaming and begging etc etc it was weird cause it didnt really make sense and it just wasnt stoppin #cut and scene. dream 2. underwater military bunker me and a bunch of other ppl my age in a cafeteria area kinda on lockdown very very big #space. all white. loud cause theres That Many People you know what a highschool cafeteria is like. and i was feeling like anxious and then #theres an announcement on the loudspeaker like theres some sort of breach and before u know it water rushes in thru the outside hallways #theres doors with little rectangle glass windows and its like instant that the water breaks thru the glass and there is a lot of screaming #and panicking for maybe 3 seconds? and then we all drown #i think the first dream was cause i was laying on my hand in a way that was hurting it cause i woke up clenchin it w a cramp (o3o) #idk what that second one was. general fear of drowing and the horrors my mind likes to subject me to #kae.txt

[katabay]

JACK THE GIANT KILLER

originally this was a kind of personal visual vibe test: I'm still turning some thoughts around about jack in my head (altho I have finished assembling the skeleton of a story and I'm looking forward to seeing what happens when I start to press at it) but I really liked how it turned out so I'm posting it as it's own illustration :)

the first post about this idea is over here, but I've fine tuned it down a bit so that the story begins with jack finding the body of a giant while he's out in the woods one day, and the story spirals out of hand before he can stop it.

it's been interesting to read up on jack tales from a literary analysis point of view while I figure this story out!! and through the power of more coffee, I think. I'm close to pinning down an underlying theme I'd really like to bite into. I just need to condense it down to a couple of sentences instead of several paragraphs.

and to close this post out, here's another excerpt from the j.g. ballard's the drowned giant that haunts me!

bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara ⭐ ko-fi

#i had a whole thing about why i dont link to my ko-fi on art posts but a friend said i should at least do it on original art #also cara seems to be promising as an art porfolio site? if you're looking to jump off of dA because it sucks ass. cara looks good so far! #OKAY moving on from that. in my head there is also a weird fucked up story about the drowned giant I would love #to turn into a short comic. maybe early next year? I think I need to go to a beach and do some studies because in my mind #it has a very specific visual and tone. hmmmmmm. #I had a very vivid dream abt it and I want to attempt to capture it down onto paper #and moving on from THAT. to the man himself. jack. ohhhhhh can you imagine if someone would’ve done a fucked up grim dark #Jack novel in 2013 or something. I would’ve eaten that like a cake. this isn’t an intentionally grim dark retelling although it is. grim. #original tag #generic medieval tag

[shallowrambles]

So I've been thinking. It's funny how enjoying meta is somewhat embedded with trust.

Like, if you're "friends" and have followed a person for a long time, you have more a sense of their values, and it's easier to read their difficult meta because you trust more that they're being charitable/nuanced.

If you don't know them, it's harder to trust that they're not funneling difficult topics into rationalization of liking/supporting gross shit.

#meta thoughts #case in point - so much of the wincest community still comes off super classist to me and it sorts of...leaks into their meta #you'll be going alone with an interesting character study and then you read stuff that just BOOM classism about family ties #then you go to their page and you find that yes they're into that shit and there's typically a desert of thoughtful cas military angels etc #they tend to like benny cause benny is an idealized brother substitute / sam parallel and it's given the most uncharitable reading #just because you choose a partner than is familiar and like your fam members does not mean you're into your family members oh my god #and sure there's tons of visual and overt racism in SPN in general but to me that at least gets discussed #the classism inherent to narrative fangirl obsessions with incest? not as dissected #familism and community are seen as Weird (TM) to them and they kind of tell on themselves with that imho #and like with racism there are just some things you can't overlook to enjoy a series if you're black because that's your day to day life an #with classism it's hard too bc sometimes you can't escape the reminders of day to day life #and when ppl in the fandom see the villain's monologues as TRUTH you just wanna shake your head but know it's not worth arguing #communal living is more normal than america wants you to think...rich folks want it labelled *weird* bc they want you separated and drained #i am begging us to deconstruct suburbia instead of defaulting to TEEHEE incest bc shitting on pooled resources is paramount in a rigged gam #I find the inherent isolation of american living-to-work without any time to visit each other VERY isolating indeed...also... #like how did we get here #where we're so afraid of labels like*cults* and *helicopter parenting* and *enmeshment* than we isolate as a form of hallowed independence #american success culture has a dark side too #and separating low class families is the aim #get them to spend more $$$ and go for lofty ideals in pursuit of american dream instead of pooling their resources and meeting their needs #meanwhile rich folks do so much respectable nepotism and pretend they're *self-made* #to me that's what the symbol of zachariah is ALLLL about #and if you're blind to what his taunts ACTUALLY mean...i'm very suspicious of your worldview #if resource sharing and co-living becomes shameful and *incestuous* for lower classes then they won't pool their power at all #american exceptionalism #spn + class #class #class warfare #giving up college dreams to be a caretaker seems way more common in poor families too #i suspect we see the incest reading less from brown families / hispanic fams...cause familism is more common

[nondeducible]

hey so like what the fuck is up with lizzo

#i know about the lawsuit and the charges #i mean more in general #because sure she did some weird shit sometimes (detoxing anyone??) but not This Bad #not i trust any celebs #but this is beyond my wildest dreams #i guess power corrupts and trust no one like mulder used to say

[fantomette22]

Can’t believe i just had a dream about freaking Micolash doing Christmas theme inventions and gadgets. Excuse me what

#even if my feet got caught in a tinsel fir tree trap he made #he was generally really nice the rest of the time xD #but you could feel he was just so weird 💀 #it was mixt with others differents dreams too and there were real people as well #me influence by some people ? no #micolash host of the nightmare

[selkiecoded]

okay thats interesting! in the SF try-outs during the song "legally blonde" she sings about how she cant be legally blonde, while in the official version AND THE DEMO she sings about letting her be legally blonde. which means that at some point they changed the lyrics around, and then changed them back! laurence o'keefe.... nell benjamin.... what occurs in your twisted minds

#covers mouth sorry so sorry guys #im a huge fan of beacon of positivity + good boy (elle puts a leash on emmett confirmed) + love and war (not in the demo but part of SF) #+ i liked some of the lyrics in the demo version of so much better (it called back to beacon of positivity!!! (i am insane)) such as: #I dream of your name next to my own but mine's looking fine up there alone #but i greatly prefer all the official songs we got. well. maybe good boy over ireland wouldve been fun (i think ireland is boring) #but itd play into the 'all men are dogs hurr hurr' joke that im glad they avoided. anyways. what was i saying. #right i havent listened to every version of everything yet (for example theres a SF version of chip on my shoulder i need to watch) #(and just the SF vers in general. shes hidden from me... why was emmett there before the remix... let me see their conversation) #but from what i have heard they made a lot of changes that were sorely needed. in take it like a man demo shes so much meaner?? #it made me sad. it wasnt a duet + they wrung out the romantic tension (no subtext by calvin klein... sigh) + shes meaner!!!! #in the bway vers hes baffled but enjoys going along w it + she genuinely likes him even when hes wearing his regular clothes #but in the demo vers she keeps calling him stuff like ugly duckling and talking about how the geek is gone :( but she likes that geek.. #the lines 'how much do you think i earn??' and 'kindly shut up :)' are funny but speak to a dynamic between the two that makes me sad... #follow me for more beautiful opinions on a fifteen year old musical #(heaves. do you know weird it is to see comments from 15yrs ago when this was actually showing. my brother is fifteen.) #god im so sorry i should be put down like a dog #lgb bootleggers are intense. i swear they got a bootleg every night or smth bc we got her shoe flying off + SF + kyle as understudy etc #go watch a so much better compilation sometime how did they take so many bootlegs?? how did you find them?? #and its awesome cause these were filmed on 2007/2008 tech which means they have 15 pixels maximum #SORRRRYYYYYYYYYY