#and mia did truly love him if not in that way (even if she wouldn't have clung as she did were it not for the compulsory sexuality at play) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

perpetuelledaydreaming · 1 year

Text

18 | chapter nineteenth

summary: Billy and you play house. Billy makes a nice save and he doesn't particularly like Craig.

warnings: implied smut. implied abused.

listen to: Pretty boy- The Neighbourhood | Ocean eyes - Billie Eillish | R u mine? - Arctic Monkeys (playlist here)

Please go look at the playlist, I revamped it all so you can read the chapters with the new songs and also maybe give your guesses of what's coming next given the songs?

word count: 3.6k

series masterlist + read the next chapter early on my ko-fi!!

By Monday morning you weren’t able to walk straight, with Craig out on business, it allowed you to spend all the weekend with Billy. Billy and you had spent the weekend playing house, as Billy had teased on Sunday while he helped you cook Emily and Max dinner, who’d also spent a considerable amount in your house since Billy thought it could distract your sister. She thankfully did, plus blasting music throughout the house, so they couldn’t hear you scream, was also the best idea you had.

You’d also got to know him even more throughout that couple of days. You realized that you truly loved talking to Billy, beyond the witty banter that the both of you carried, you got to know him even more. It was unsettling how comfortable he felt with you, how easily you created a routine. But either way, you loved it. The way that he sang along to certain songs to the point that you had to hold back a laugh, his competitive nature, his interest, and opinions, even on politics. Especially how he read to you.

It was a shame that the paradise that was created by both of you wouldn't last too long.

Billy had sneaked out of your place around five that morning, aware that Craig might show up earlier than he’d said he would. You played with his golden necklace as your limbs were tangled in your bed while Billy passed his hand through your hair delicately as you asked him to leave a bit earlier and to try to keep the PDA at bay at school.

He didn’t say anything, nor did he look hurt or annoyed but you still knew it bothered him slightly.

Therefore, as you limped through the hallways you were secretly dreading two things: Seeing Billy’s hurt expression and running into Eddie, who was now aware of why you’d been MIA throughout the last part of the week prior. Robin had called you on Saturday night after Eddie had told her that you couldn’t hang out with them since you had a cold, at least, that’s what you’d told Bob when you canceled your shift after Billy had begged you on his knees not to go to Peaches, after he started to kiss you through your underwear, there was little that you could do.

Eddie, though, he knew as he waited for you on the path to your locker.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” you grumbled as you passed Eddie who was burning you with his eyes.

“What the fuck? Of course, we do!” Eddie gawked at you, he followed you. “When, where, how?” he asked loudly as you looked back at him with a glare.

“Eddie, stop it!” You bit back at him when you finally stopped at your locker. “And you already know where!”

Eddie scrunched his nose in disgust as he looked at you while your eyebrows quirked up. Eddie groaned loudly with a grim on his face as there was a hint of a smile on your lips.

“Please tell me that at least the counter at Peaches hasn’t fallen victim to both of you,” Eddie muttered as he passed a hand through his face.

He was so dramatic.

“It hasn’t,” you lied as you recalled your first kiss with Billy and how he sat you on the counter. If you didn’t know any better, you would tell Eddie that it could soon be a victim too. Billy didn’t have self-control and apparently when it came to him, you didn’t have it either. “And please, stop talking about that. I’m nervous enough with the results,”

Suddenly, Steve and Robin made their way to your locker with anxious smiles. Robin launches towards you with a big hug as she holds your hand.

“Are you ready?” she asked.

You sighed as you shake your head slightly while Steve ruffled your hair slightly and then you turned to the right and he was right there. Billy’s eyes softened as his gaze met yours, he’d been nothing but supportive on Saturday night when you snapped out of your dreams as you recalled that the announcements on student president were made that day. There was a hint of a smile as he gazed at you through the crowd in the hallways while he pretended to listen to Carol talking.

“Yeah,” you said as you gazed at Billy and nodded in acknowledgment. “I’m ready,”

As if you’d cue the principal, the speakers in the hallways let out a pitch before it turned off and you heard the school’s music for announcements.

“Good Morning Hawkins High,” The principal said as your heartbeat began to raise. “First, the newspaper committee will be announcing their new members on Friday, following the next week there will be renovations,” you sighed as you gazed at Billy while you tried to block out the unimportant announcements. Billy motioned you to breathe and you followed suit, it felt like you were the only two people in the hallway.

“Y/N!” Robin pulled you, you snapped your head towards her as you listened to the principal again, but your heart is beating way too hard in your chest, it was almost bursting. Your eyes met Billy’s again as the words of the director rumbled through the hallways.

“And the winner of the run for president of the student body is,”

You almost didn’t hear the principal calling your name, part because your eyes were linked to Billy’s and it seemed like they drowned everything out. It’s a blur, you don’t even notice the screaming and how your friends were shaking you until Eddie literally tackled your body and huddled with your other friends, effectively tearing your gaze away from Billy.

“YOU WON!” Eddie screamed and Robin jumped around while hugging Steve.

You erupted in laughter as you hugged and kissed your friends before jumping around with Robin, celebrating as much as you could while people began to chant your name near you. Suddenly, you felt a strong pair of arms around your torso pulling you away, you were being scooped into a tight hug, spinning you around happily as people in the hallway clapped and cheered for you.

You didn’t need to see his face to realize it was him who’d picked you up. You felt his broad shoulders as you draped your arms around his neck, the scent of salty air and beach wrapping around you as he held you tightly with a wide grin. It was only until he settled down, with you facing him, that you realized what you’d done.

Billy’s grin faltered a bit, his cheeks flushing as he looked around and let go of your hips. He turned to the crowd, they were staring at him as if he was insane, they were still clapping and cheering but slower than before, your friends had frowned as they gazed at both of you, Robin disgusted while Steve in shock. Eddie thought, he had a knowing look.

“THERE’S GOING TO BE A PARTY, PEOPLE,” Billy screamed with a wicked smile. “COME ON!” he growled once more as he began to celebrate with other people.

People soon Billy’s action and the crowd began to roar, they celebrated amongst themselves about the party as Steve handed in the flyers for it. Billy then returned to you, he gazed at you for a second while you shook your head with a slight smile.

“Nice save,” you muttered, trying not to seem so close to him.

Billy smirked as he discretely pinched your butt softly, you yelped at his movement, swatting his arm away as you glared at him before you returned to your friends. Although, Billy still noticed how your lips quirked up at his action as he shook his head and went to class.

Billy didn’t see you again throughout the day. He wanted to be selfish. If he was being honest, he would’ve wanted to pick you up from the floor in that hallway and take you to his Camaro, making you scream his name before you fell asleep together. Billy’s memories of you throughout that weekend play on repeat in his mind. How he’d woken up with the sun rising in the Quarry, your body warm and soft against his. How you peered up at him with flushed cheeks and a relaxed smile as he brushed the stray hairs from your face while placing a soft kiss on your temple.

The weekend definitely changed whatever previous dynamic you’d held.

It was deeper, more real than before.

Billy now wondered if he would ever be expected to wake up alone again. He loved spending time with you, he realized that beneath your icy exterior, there was so much warmth inside of you that washed over Billy. He loved it, he loved wrapping himself around you, always touching you. Face buried on your neck while your hair repeatedly tickled his nose, arms wrapped around your waist, leaving you no choice but to tickle him to wriggle your way out of his arms.

Therefore it wasn’t a surprise when he went to the mall, bought some flowers and then drove to your place at eleven that same night. He’d climbed to the rooms of a couple of girls before, but usually, there wasn’t any bouquet of flowers or tape that he had to hold in his mouth as he pulled himself up to the roof that covered the porch while he gazed at the neighboring houses to be sure that no one would call Hopper and report a house invasion if they saw him.

He grunted slightly as he pulled his body up and carefully made his way to your window, looking through it. Billy gazed at you, pajama shorts and a sweater as you wrote in your notebook time and time again. You were too focused on whatever you were doing to notice him, brows and nose scrunching up as you read what you’d written and began muttering it out loud.

He realized then that there was nothing more for him, no one else could make him feel like he felt for you. You were it for him.

Billy smiled softly and finally tapped on your window. You jumped slightly at the sound and you frowned as you stared at him, while you realized that there were his blue eyes staring at you from outside. Quickly, you looked back to your door and then ran towards the window, curling your fingers and pushing it up with caution, praying that it didn’t make too much noise.

“What are you doing?” you hissed as you opened the window to Billy.

“Didn’t let me celebrate with you,” Billy replied as he stepped into your room trying to be as careful as he possibly could. “I had to bring the celebration here,” he sighed as he leaned down to the roof and took the flowers, presenting them to you with tape wrapped with them.

Your heart hammered in your chest as he presented the bouquet of lilies and the tape. He’d recalled that you’d told him that your father used to bring lilies home when he arrived from a long trip or sometimes without reason. He’d remembered.

“Billy,” you sighed as you stepped closer to him while holding the Lillies with watery eyes.

“I really wanted to be with you all day,” he murmured as he towered over you.

His scent drove your senses wild as he leaned down and pressed his lips against yours. It started soft, so soft that you wondered how Billy Hargrove, who could look so brute and harsh could be so delicate with you, so affectionate. One of his hands slid around to cup the back of your neck while you deepened the kiss. Your hands quickly draped over his shoulders, pressing yourself against him while he gripped the back of your thighs, lifted you, and let your legs wrap around his waist.

It comes almost as muscle memory now, how it goes between the two of you. How he kissed you so deeply, how he felt so warm all the time, how his fingertips were the root of the goosebumps that covered your skin. You’re dizzy by the time you’d stopped kissing and Billy settled on your bed, his sitting down while you straddled his lap.

Leaving the flowers on the edge of your bed, you pressed yourself harder against Billy while littering his face with soft pecks that made him hum contently.

“Why can we just let this pointless rivalry go on?” you murmured against his lips, your fingertips caressing his face slightly.

You knew you had to say it, you knew that you had to bring it up eventually because otherwise, Billy would go around thinking that nothing had changed, that you didn’t care for him as much as you actually did.

“Baby,” Billy whined softly as he flushed his chest against yours.

You nudged his nose softly with yours. “I told you I can’t, at least, not yet,” you replied.

“Why?” he asked as he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

Billy didn’t want to pressure you on this, afraid that he might scare you off, and yet, he knew he could handle not being able to express how he felt for you for so long. At least, he believed, he needed to know what was happening in your mind.

You stared at him softly through your lashes as you trailed your fingertips over his nose and cheekbones. With a sigh, you pressed your forehead against his.

“I’m scared,” you whispered so softly that Billy thought he hadn’t heard correctly at first.

“Of me?”

“No!” you hurried, shaking your head. “I’m scared of how my step-father could react if he found out,” you stated, nuzzling your head on his neck, trying to avoid his gaze.

Billy frowned slightly at the notion that the only thing that could be stopping you would be your stepfather. He wondered if he would feel the same if his father found out, but honestly, Neil would be amazed that Billy had managed to make someone like you notice him.

“Are you scared of him?” he asked as he passed a hand through your hair.

There was a beat of silence in the air for a second as your eyes wandered to the small box on your desk.

“Have you fucked up so badly before that you feel out of breath when they walk into the room because they might point out anything that you’re currently doing wrong?” you explained. “Have you ever felt so tense that your body aches as soon as you relax when they’re gone?”

There was no emotion as you stated it; you’d been wasting your tears and feelings when you were alone. But feeling Billy tensing up as he heard you, made you want to weep.

The answer was yes.

“Hey,” Billy muttered softly as he cupped your face and turned your head so you were looking at him, leaning a bit on the bed so his eyes met yours. “What’s wrong?” he asked staring at you, while you were teary-eyed.

“Nothing’s wrong,” you murmured, seemingly holding back the tears.

He couldn’t know, you weren’t ready. You’d been technically together for about five days, no one could know. Billy could see it, the walls standing strong in front of him as he gazed at you, he shook his head.

“Then when?”

You placed the heels of your hand on your eyes as if they could hide the tears that were brimming in your eyes. You believed that you were well past the tears when you realized the situation that you were in, and yet here you were holding them back so he couldn’t notice how much you were hurting.

“I don’t know but can you just trust me on this?” you stated as you stared at him softly.

Billy sighed before leaning into you, pressing his lips against yours.

“I get it, it’s annoying but I won’t force you to do anything if you’re not ready,” he agreed, glancing at your face with the most delicate features.

“Thank you,

You lifted your chin and pressed your lips against his. Billy kissed you tenderly in return, he snaked one arm around your waist, turning you around and placing you on your back as he continued to kiss you. If you’d kissed him that morning you met him, you wondered how much time would you have spent hating him.

Not much, honestly.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as Billy grounded against you.

And then you heard the faint footstep of someone climbing the stairs, his footsteps. Billy felt your whole body tensing up and how your breath became shallow for a second.

“y/n?” It’s Craig.

Billy turned towards your door and then to you before you climbed down his lap and closed the window. Billy stayed still for a second, unsure how to react to the panic drawn on your face, and now that you’d closed the only way he had to go out. Your eyes widened as you saw him waiting for you.

“Shit, shit,” you muttered as you pulled Billy to the floor. “Hide underneath my bed, quick,” you ordered him as you jumped to your bed and tried to put your papers on the bed.

Billy simply nodded as he laid down and rolled under your bed as you asked him to. By the time Craig opened the door, you’re sitting on your bed, re-reading one of your last drafts.

“What are you doing?” Craig asked harshly as he curiously gazed at you and your room.

He had been in a bad mood with you in the morning, especially when he noticed the pink slip on Emily’s backpack that mentioned that she’d been late one morning. He hadn’t been too kind to you after that but hadn’t done anything about it.

“Practicing my speech for Friday,” you explained.

The dullness in your voice made Billy frown as he waited patiently under the bed. He also realized that he didn’t particularly found pleasing Craig’s tone with you. Billy had never seen him and you hadn’t told Billy much about him, the only information he had was that you were somehow and for some reason scared of him, maybe he was strict.

He hoped it was that.

“Thought I heard you talking,” Craig muttered uninteresting as he eyed your room, he still had a glimpse of suspicion in his gaze but you refused to give in.

“No, sir.”

He nodded curtly. “I’m going to sleep, is everything ready for tomorrow? I don’t want your sister being late again,” he stated through gritted teeth.

You rolled your eyes at what’d happened. It wasn’t that you meant for it to happen, it slipped. “I told you that I had,” you began, annoyance dripping from your voice but then Craig’s voice ripped through your words.

“Excuse me?” he roared as he watched you with flared nostrils.

You held your breath for a moment, waiting for him to do something and praying that Billy wouldn’t pop out of your bed. Billy’s hands quickly turned to fists, holding them so hard that he was sure crescent moons would appear on his palms as soon as he let go.

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” you muttered.

Craig nodded. “Fucking hope so,” he said. “Good night,”

“Good night,” you replied.

Billy waited until Craig’s footsteps sound far enough away before he climbed out of your bed as you slumped on your bed, covering your face with your hands. It hadn’t been enough for him to know about what had happened, your relationship with Craig, how he abused you, you had never shared so much. No one had been close enough to you for them to know anything about Craig, your ex had only found out because he’d been almost a witness to what had happened.

“I don’t like the way he talks to you,” Billy stated as he sat down on the bed next to you while his hand climbed to your leg up and down, caressing your skin.

“Don’t pay attention to him,” you sighed as you uncovered your face and moved to the side so Billy could lie down next to you. Billy took his jacket off and laid down next to you.

He turned to his side as his hand continued to caress your skin while his eyes burn the side of your head. He watched you so carefully that you were afraid that he might read you, that he might find out.

“Has he ever done anything to you?” he asked.

It was never too far from Billy’s realm of possibility, with his father he knew what might happen to anyone else. It still made him sick to think that someone could harm him.

You shifted on your bed, quickly draping yourself onto his chest before you kissed his pec softly over his shirt. Billy’s lips quirked as you looked up at him through your lashes. Billy rolled his eyes, leaned over, and kissed your lips softly. He brushed his fingers over your hair, smoothing it back off of your face. He was waiting for an answer but by the way, you’re avoiding the topic, he believed that it wouldn’t be something to talk about today.

“Come here,” you muttered before you climbed from his chest and pressed yourself to him, kissing him harder.

Billy relaxed as you climbed over him. Your lips left his as you pressed open-mouthed kisses on his jaw and then on his throat, moving your mouth down to the curve of his shoulder and back up to his jaw. Billy grounded himself against you, his hands lifting up to your chest before going back to your hips, holding you down so you could feel how hard he was already. You whimpered.

“Baby,” you breathed out. “If you don’t stop, I,”

You gasped as Billy’s hand slipped into your underwear, sliding his fingers along your folds.

“Sh darling,” he cooed. “You have to be very quiet,”

***

author's note: honestly, november has been a bit of a shitty month for me so sorry for the delay. I hope you're enjoying our section of 'fucking like rabbits and try to have a healthy relationship'. Let's see how long it lasts (it won't last too long sorry) . thank you as always for your support. you make me really really happy

***

taglist: @happypopcornprincess @hannahnikohl @thescarlettvvitch @nymphadora000 @phishyie @amethystx3 @jaziscool @vixionix @gloryekaterina @alicetweven @frogtits1 @meg11 @pillowjj @fan1237 @bucky-daddy-barnes @starloriha @make-me-imagine @piper570 @dedicated2viktor @zanmorgan @queenofshinigamis @literally-a-ferret @slutformaddyperez @milkiane @mysterygirl-14 @oli-leo-ska @tsukibaby1 @samwilsonlove @theshinyrock @belledawnidk @the-mysterious-miss-s @rio-mx@nobody-000 @rlvslouis @linkpk88 @daygirl26 @steveharringtonswifey09 @alwaysbeenfamous @kazbrekkersangel @ilovewomen711 @allazay101 @finelineskies @dacresgff @nymphadora000 @that-levi-kenma-kinnie @riffcrusader @useless-snail @patheticreative @emmettcullenswife @milenadixon @whiskeypowder @ponyboys-sunsets @yunho-leeknow @kaillou66 @randomeddieblog

146 notes · View notes

ladykailolu · 10 months

Note

If you'll forgive me for stealing a bit from Steven Universe

I imagine the bombshell of Marigold being Mia's daughter being dropped on Godot during a confrontation where Godot was bitching about Phoenix for how he hid the necklace to protect Dahlia after she poisoned him.

6-year-old Marigold is somewhat confused and angry, so she kicks him in the leg and tells him to stop being mean to him, She doesn't know anything about poison, but you shouldn't be so mean to Uncle Phoenix just because he was a bit foolish

(I have a feeling Phoenix at some point told a very sanitized and watered-down version of the Dahlia escapade, mostly as a story of how he met Mia and how great of a lawyer her mom was)

Godot somewhat angrily tells her to stay out of it and that he's the imbecile who's responsible for Mia's death and that this is what Trite deserves

Marigold finally snaps at him for making such a false allegation at someone she loves and goes

"What do you know about my mom?!"

"I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KNOW MY MOM!"

"But I DO Know, She Wanted to Believe, and Defend In Everyone!"

"Even in people like him!" *Points to Phoenix*

"And Even In Jerks Like YOU!" *Points at Godot*

She yells with tears in her eyes

What do u think?

I never watched Steven Universe, so you are forgiven.

When that bombshell drops, I imagine that Godot pauses for a second, processing what this kid just said. And his first thought is probably like, "...What? Mia Fey didn't have any children." Because according to his recollection, she didn't. Remember when I said that Mia would visit Godot in the hospital and talk to him while he was comatose? The reasoning behind that is although he's dead to the world, he might still be able to hear and at least somewhat understand what Mia's saying. At least, that is what Mia believes (I think the last sense for a person to go while they're dying is hearing, and there's some evidence to suggest that a dying person who is unconscious can still react to what they're hearing, such as crying if they become emotional).

So when Mari was born, Mia visited Godot frequently for a little while, talking to him all about their daughter and how she wished that he would wake up already to meet her. But it seems that the words truly did fall on deaf ears because Godot doesn't remember any of it. Then Mia passed away, and Mari was handed off to Aunt Morgan, never to visit and talk to her comatose father again.

So he's surprised! He doesn't remember Mia talking about children before he was poisoned. Maybe she found another lover while he was napping? As hard as it was to accept, that would probably be the most likely conclusion, to him, at this point.

And so the questioning stops there. Mia had a kid with someone else. It hurts, but it makes sense. She had a pure heart, and he wished he could have been that lucky son of a bitch who fathered her child.

Oh, if the coffee aficionado only knew....

Honestly, I do not know what would be worse: Godot believing that Mia found someone else and had a child with that bastard, OR Godot knowing at this time that Mari was indeed his own child that Mia had and raised while he was napping and powerless to help them.

It's a pick your poison type of thing. One on hand, there's more anger, on the other, there's guilt.

I can imagine Godot talking to Mari at this time with the same harsh tone and words he used on Frannie. Ironically calling Mari "princess" and "little girl" in an obviously derogatory way, having no qualms to insult a little six year old and put her in her place. And it makes Mari more frustrated and angry. Blinded by his anger and sadness, Godot had just brought a six year old to cry and walked away with a few parting shots at Feenie like ain't nothing happened.

Mari was so wounded during that encounter that she struggled, she truly struggled not to demonize the man. She knew her mother wouldn't, that she would find a way to see the good in a jerk like him. And often, Mari wonders how Mia could even do it.

Oh absolutely Feenie would tell a sparknotes version of what went on 5 years ago when her mother defended him in court. He would be honest and state in plain facts that he was on the hook for murder that his ex-girlfriend had caused, taking care to spare the gory details. (Then Mari asks why Uncle Feenie ate a glass bottle and Feenie doesn't have an answer, sweating profusely and tryna change the subject). Mari is a smart girl, she can understand at least the gist of what happened, even if she doesn't understand *why* Dahlia would do such a thing.

#ace attorney oc #marigold fey #ace attorney godot #ace attorney #godot #prosecutor godot #diego armando #pheonix wright #oreocookiezzz #asks #lady k answers

13 notes · View notes

bluejaysandblackbats · 25 days

Text

Five Stages of Mamma Mia

Fandom:

AU where Catherine Johnson is Jason's bio mom and Jason doesn't know who his father is. (Jason Todd is Jason Johnson for fic reasons).

Chapters: 6/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Jason Blood, Catherine Todd Mention, Bruce Wayne, Willis Todd Mention

Relationship(s): Past Catherine Todd/Jason Blood, Past Catherine Todd/Bruce Wayne, Past Catherine Todd/Willis Todd

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Mamma Mia-inspired AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Long Lost/Secret Relatives, Father-Son Relationship(s), Jason Todd Experiences the Five Stages of Grief

Chapter Six: SOS

As the days turned to weeks, Jason started noticing strange patterns in Mr. Blood's behavior. Sometimes, Mr. Blood would sneak out at night and wouldn't come home until after Jason fell asleep. Other times, Jason would catch Mr. Blood whispering to himself. Most nights, Jason fell asleep in Mr. Blood's chair because he was too afraid to sleep in his room. Jason usually sat in the library reading Mr. Blood's books on magic and herbalism. He pored over the chapters almost every night, doing his best to commit what he read to memory, but he never broke Mr. Blood's rule. He wouldn't dare read the words aloud, despite his curiosity. Although Mr. Blood and his rules seemed strange, Jason truly did like him. Perhaps even loved him.

One night, though, the power went out while Jason slept in the library, and he felt a pair of arms scoop him up in the pitch-black room. It wouldn't have bothered him much, except the figure didn't smell like Mr. Blood. The person smelled of sulfur and lit charcoal. Jason kept his eyes shut out of the childish fear that he'd meet eyes with a monster or a stranger if he opened his eyes for just a moment. The figure's footsteps were heavy, but they slapped against the wooden floors as if the soles of their feet were bare. The figure tucked Jason into bed and shut the door on their way out. Jason heard their voice outside his door. It was gravelly and crackled like a burning fire. He climbed out of bed and tried to listen to the words but could only make out, "The form of man." After that, he heard Mr. Blood's exasperated whisper.

"Did you have to carry him? He could have seen you," Mr. Blood whispered. Jason felt a sickness rising in the pit of his stomach.

Was there someone else in the house this whole time? Jason liked Mr. Blood, but he feared that he'd stumbled into a dangerous situation. He waited until Mr. Blood's footsteps were distant to return to the library. He was too afraid to sleep in his room and needed to think about his next move. Instead of that, though, his mind drifted to something Catherine always told him. "Children can see and feel things no one else can. That's why you have to trust your gut. You're still so brand new... You see things more clearly than I do," Catherine would whisper. He always thought she was just rambling, but maybe she was right. His instincts told him to stay and face his fears, but all logic told him to run fast and far away. In the end, he ignored his gut instinct and fled.

He snuck out the window and left on foot. He couldn't wait for his birth certificate to come or his paternity test results. Jason was too scared to ask for answers, and without those answers, he walked right into a trap.

Jason managed to get to his neighborhood while it was still dark out, and he felt someone following him. He glanced over his shoulder but couldn't see anyone unusual on his street. Unfortunately, though, the moment Jason turned around, a man rushed him from the corner of his eye, and they put something over his face while another person jabbed him in the neck. He could hear them talking but couldn't fight his attackers or keep his eyes open. His legs crumbled underneath him, and he surrendered consciousness.

When Jason awakened, he lay in a porcelain bathtub filled with milk, colorful flowers, and herbs. The room smelled of copper and made his stomach turn. Someone tilted his head back and poured milk into his hair. He tried to move, but his body betrayed him. He wished he could at least cry out for help, but he was at the complete mercy of his captors. A group of robed people in sculpted masks lifted him out of the tub and dried him off before slipping a silken white gown over his head. Then a large man approached and carried him up to what appeared to be an altar. He lay Jason across the hard surface where the smell of copper was so strong it brought tears to Jason's eyes. A robed woman walked toward him, standing over his head with an ornate dagger, and he shut his eyes. As he struggled to regain control of his limbs, he felt warm droplets of liquid strike his forehead. He opened his eyes, glancing upward at the woman as best he could as she held her bleeding fist above his face.

A man started chanting rhythmically in a language Jason was too afraid to identify. He shut his eyes and struggled to think of someplace safe.

Some glass shattered in the distance, interrupting Jason's train of thought, and a cacophony of frightened voices all joined together at once, saying different things. He couldn't open his eyes. Jason was too fearful to look. It wasn't until he heard the sound of crackling flame and the frightened voices turn to screams that he opened his eyes. He couldn't move his head or neck, so he could only see the worried face of the woman who'd bled on him and the stars in the night sky. The man chanting continued to do so as if there were no interruption, and Jason started to feel weak. His heart slowed to a near-stop, and he wanted to hold on. He tried to stay present, but the feeling was much too strong. He was dying. The lights flickered in the dimly lit room, and his eyes fluttered. Jason didn't want to die. Not like this. Not scared and confused in a nightie. The only thing that managed to breathe some life back into him was spray against his face. The chanting stopped, but it was replaced with a vile gurgling. Jason knew that was the sound of someone choking to death on liquid. He'd heard it before. He wanted to scream, but all he could manage was an endless stream of silent tears.

"Gone, gone O Etrigan! Rise again, the form of man!" a voice yelled, but it wasn't the voice Jason had heard earlier that night. It was gravelly but more human than the voice he'd heard.

A pair of arms scooped Jason's unresponsive form into an embrace, but Jason didn't know who it was. "Did they hurt you? Are you in pain?" Mr. Blood asked. Jason could hear the pain in the man's voice, but he couldn't speak.

"Jason, the boy can't speak. They must've given him a paralytic agent to keep him from—." Jason opened his eyes. Batman? Mr. Blood knew Batman?

Batman injected Jason with something, and Mr. Blood held him still in his embrace. "It's alright. It's going to be alright," Mr. Blood reassured him. He heard an object fall to the ground as Mr. Blood supported his head and smeared something warm against the nape of his neck. "I've got you now. Everything's going—." Jason let out a whimper, and it slowly built into a frightened sob. His limbs returned to him after several minutes, but he was still too weak to stand.

He could move his head enough to see the carnage surrounding him, and he released a noise trapped in his throat since the ritual began. It sounded like a scream, but his mouth was shut. "Ohno," Jason slurred.

Mr. Blood repositioned so Jason's forehead could rest on his shoulder in the boy's weakened state. "Don't look. Don't look. Just close your eyes and listen to my voice. Focus on me," Mr. Blood raised his voice over Jason's panicked whimpers. "I love you so much. I don't know what I would've—." Mr. Blood's voice broke.

"How'd you fine me?" Jason slurred.

"Magic—."

"Jason, we have to go," Batman interrupted. Mr. Blood scooped Jason up and commanded him to keep his eyes closed.

Mr. Blood recited something similar to what Batman said, and he couldn't smell Mr. Blood anymore. He could only smell sulfur and charcoal, and blood. It was everywhere. The voice of crackling fire uttered something, and when Jason opened his eyes, he glanced into the eyes of a yellow beast with red eyes and fangs. Mr. Blood was nowhere to be found. The fear and shock proved too much, and Jason lost consciousness, fainting in the beast's arms. "No thanks received for my toils/ From his reaction, my blood boils," Etrigan rhymed.

"It's a lot for a child to take in... Especially after witnessing the massacre you—."

Etrigan recited the poem to change to Mr. Blood, and Batman sighed. "Since when do you house children, Jason?" Batman questioned.

"Since I found out he could be my son," Mr. Blood answered. He carried Jason to his room and lay him in an easy chair in the corner while he lay a towel over the bed and went to the bathroom to fill a bucket with water. "Can you look in the top drawer and set out his pajamas?" Batman nodded.

"Jason—."

"If he is my son, I can protect him. I just—. I have to be more careful. I know that I can protect him," Mr. Blood whispered.

"It's not me you have to convince," Batman whispered. Mr. Blood nodded as he washed the blood off Jason's face and neck.

He whispered a spell in Jason's ear to make him sleep through the night, but only because he needed the night to think of a way to explain himself. He had to tell Jason everything, even if that meant letting him go. Batman disappeared into the night, leaving Mr. Blood to clean up and dress Jason in his pajamas. Even after he tucked Jason into bed, Mr. Blood couldn't leave his side. Everything happened so fast, and he wouldn't let it happen again. The cult would've tried to use Jason's body as a vessel, killing him in the process as they'd killed so many other children, and Etrigan was right. Jason was the only reason they tracked the cult and annihilated them. Mr. Blood would've killed them with his bare hands had he been there for most of the fight, but he was grateful to Etrigan this once for his brutality and bloodlust. They got what they deserved, and his boy—. Well, possibly his boy, was safe and sound.

#fic #5somm fic #Jason Todd #Jason Blood #Catherine Todd Mention #Bruce Wayne #Willis Todd Mention #batfam #Past Catherine Todd/Jason Blood #Past Catherine Todd/Bruce Wayne #Past Catherine Todd/Willis Todd #Canon Divergent AU #Mamma Mia-inspired AU #Angst #Hurt/Comfort #Long Lost/Secret Relatives #Father-Son Relationship(s)#Jason Todd Experiences the Five Stages of Grief

3 notes · View notes

backjustforberena · 2 years

Note

Rewatched "Primum Non Nocere". When do you think Serena finally saw Bernie as family?

(I think that when Serena finally change her priorities, she sees Bernie as family. but, where in the timeline it is? in your opinion)

Hi!! Okay, so we've spoken about this before a bit privately, and our thoughts kind of match up on this. But I'll tell the few people who will read this answer, shall I?

I'm pretty confident, in my own head, at least, that this only happens when Bernie is missing. It probably happened before that, subconsciously, when Serena couldn't go five minutes without asking Cam about his mother, but the moment it hits her is when she's declared MIA. All of her actions tell me this:

"We've not heard any more from the Army." - we is key here. It's probably subconscious. Serena's not been sleeping, she's still in a stage of hope. As soon as that soldier turns up, it's Serena's story just as much as Cam's. There's not even a question. Which, normally, if it's about your ex of a good six months... you'd be sad but you wouldn't be willing to throw yourself in front of a bus for them. Just me? And of course, the bus here is Alex.

Cam treats her like family. Forget about Serena seeing Bernie as family. The fact of the matter is, Cameron leans on her like a mother now. It's not a mentor relationship or a supportive boss. It's unspoken and maternal. The certainty with which it's all done (there's no awkwardness, no wondering ifs he should be this close to it all or step back etc) - this is only further expanded on as we go through the storyline. I mean, for goodness sake, Cam assumes Serena is going to have half of Bernie's ashes.

Another major thing is the way she grieves. Serena has grieved for friends and family alike. She's grieved for Arthur, for Raf, who were dear friends. One died rapidly when there was nothing she could do to help. The other died violently and suddenly in a senseless attack. Serena mourned them healthily, and despite beign distraught, was able to keep going.

The two family deaths she's gone through were Adrienne and Elinor. And for those, she fell apart. With her mother, she attempted to carry on at work, acted normally, did all the normal arrangements, got her cremated etc etc. And then she fell apart because suddenly her life without this woman marked a great change. She had to go to Paris for a long weekend to find herself. It was an overwhelming grief. The same with Elinor, as I'm sure we all know and don't need to rehash: she lost herself.

Now, if we compare her reactions, say: Arthur to Elinor? And then put Bernie's death on that scale? It's far closer to her reaction to Elinor. Family. I mean, it's not quite Elinor levels of grief, but it's bloody close. And even time off, or vocal confirmation of the love they had, from Alex... I think it still was a part of why she had to leave Holby. Bernie's not just someone she loved. It's constant. It's not changed by the break up or even by death.

Whereas, whilst you could call Edward her family, she probably doesn't consider him such because any love she had for him withered and died years ago. They had a child together, were married for decades, but as soon as that's gone... it's gone. Bernie's different. She's permanent in her heart, which isn't something Serena expected or foresaw. I don't know if I'm explaining that clearly, but... yeah. Bernie's become a part of her as a person, as surely as her mother and daughter were.

But why don't I think she thought of Bernie as family before then?

I think she wanted to. I think perhaps she even told herself that she did. But if Serena had truly thought of Bernie as family... she never would have broken up with her or let her go. We know Serena. We know the way she acts with her family is that she is loathe to let them go.

It's how she loves. She does it fiercely, and at a very close range. She cared for her mother on her own, and privately. She was very, very protective of Jason once she had him in her life. She tried to have that closeness with Elinor as well. With Greta and Guinevere, once accepted, she's the same: overbearing, interfering and very eager to show her love. If Bernie had ever had that, then Serena wouldn't have let her go, because there's a different bond with family and she has a different idea of it.

That's what we get when we see them return to our screen. Bernie is her family, her partner and her team. And eventually... her wife.

#any questions? ;)#bad meta #berena

16 notes · View notes

bytedykes · 2 years

Note

use this ask as a free pass to talk about jfa!!! what was ur favorite part/case/character/etc !! >:0

omg thank u for the pass <3 !!!!

ok omg i did like the lost turnabout i thought it was stupid (affectionate) but entertaining, i assume they just did that to refresh how to actually play the game for the player? either way it was so dumb absolute 10/10, i wouldn't give it up for anything. phoenix is already dumb in court always but no memory phoenix being dumb in court? amazing. showstopping. unparalleled. also i like maggey :) <3

episode 2!!! aaaaaaauughhh i really liked this one too! i love pearly she's my baby she's my favorite little girl she's the one and only <3 i want to put her in a centrifuge (affectionate) also i think franziska is introduced in this case right ? i love her as well she's one of the most mean lesbians of all time

umm about the case itself i was rlly into them showing more feys! i liked getting to explore more or kurain village and they feys' family dynamics etc, i think ini/mimi and morgan working together to do evil tm was done well! i like ini also. absolute rocks for brains girlie i want to draw her but havent yet <3 AND MIMI, i felt so proud of myself when i was putting the clues together akkadajdsk!! im generally rlly into all of aa's sibling dynamics so this was like a little treat for me <3 stealing ur dead sister's identity and faking your own death… real !

yeah tho the way they developed the fey family lore in this case. very good. im a fan <3

its been a while since i actually played case 2 because cases 3 and 4 took me like a month each 😭 im missing a lot about it probably but ghjhdjdjf i also liked seeing lotta again, she's one of my beloved side characters and it was nice to see her again! god my brain is so empty. the magatama being introduced in this case! also very cool, i had to google how to use it because im stupid but once i figured it out i thought it was really neat and had fun with that

(also mia's boobs becoming plot relevant in this case?? mkjskd also A Moment for sure)

(omg i just remembered pearly ran from kurain village to the courthouse in this case? just straight up sprinted? she's an icon she's so real she IS the moment!!! 💞)

ok case 3 i hate case three <3 i hate it i hate it i hate ittttt sooo much!!! doubly mad about it because i am a circus + clown enjoyer and around the time i was playing it i got to see a history of circus museum so like UGH turnabout big top could have been genuinely so good but it just wasnt! it was gross! :/ all the characters rlly did have like potential to be cool and interesting but instead they were all child predators like come on 😭 the one decent guy is the murderer (i was excited for seeing a wheelchair user too :( but nooo we cant have good things in the aa circus!!!) and hjhfdjshj idk <3 yeah least favorite case for sure. my friend warned me it was gonna be bad but no one could have truly made me understand how bad it was until i played it lmao. genuinely like its even shittier bc it COULD HAVE been good :(

(i did like some of the franziska moments in case 3 tho… shes a shithead and i love her <3)

CASE 4 MY BELOVED i loved case 4!!! going to try to organize these thoughts a little because its freshest on my mind and i have the most to say about it lol

will powers!! i was excited that they brought back will powers, he's another side character im an enjoyer of, and i liked seeing him :) and lotta again!! i love her <3

i love pearly in this case she's sooo <33 i love her! she's so cute and makes me sad sometimes i want to hold her

engarde ! he was cool! i like the whole stage persona thing, the constant fucking repetition of "refreshing like a spring breeze" got so annoying but like in a satisfying way? like. jdhfjd it was annoying bc it was supposed to be i guess, not bc the writing was bad if that makes sense? i liked his twist, i liked the stupid sprite of him pushing his bangs out of his face, i like the random materialization of the brandy(?) glass, i like?? his general cuntiness?? sdsdskd idk he was fun i liked him as a character and as a villain

OHH i was. hm i dont wanna be like i was a fan of the misogyny but hghdjfj i felt very strongly about how both corrida and engarde were shithead assholes and how willing both of them were to like. use this woman's life and death for their own gain. and how that affected adrian and subsequently maya… idk!!! lots of thoughts but no words, but that did feel well written to me and definitely made me feel strong things

also i really like how in aa1 phoenix breaks down zero doors but in aa2 he breaks down two doors. 10/10. let this man break down doors

edgeworth trying to give ppl (mainly phoenix) life advice throughout this case is?? so funny? i get he went on his self actualization and learned the real meaning of being a lawyer etc but hguhjfdhjd miles "i heart repressing my emotions" edgeworth?? claiming to be well adjusted and qualified to give others advice?? hilarious. 10/10. even better that it actually WORKS on phoenix ubfdjhdjfh

(not saying edgeworth DIDN'T successfully work on his emotional state and go to therapy etc but like. come on. its edgeworth. u know what i mean lol)

THE AFTERCREDITS SCENE BROKE ME LMAO everything about it makes me want to put my head thru a wall <3 franziska and miles interacting in general, her telling him that she will no longer be living in his shadow, her crying sprite, her leaving for germany, THE FOURTH PIECE OF EVIDENCE CARD AAAAAAA it fucked me up it really did!! maya drawing nick on the card she found while she's kidnapped really made me feel things! they are siblings your honor!!! i have so many feelings about this and the way it was set up + revealed but aghhh i cant put any of them to words it just made me yell really loud and screenshot the card a hundred times !

uhh yeah those are most of my thoughts i think!! tldr i liked this game it was fun (aside from case 3 the motherfucker) and id play it again for sure!! my favorite case was two i think, four is a close second but even knowing how it would end (im not immune to scrolling the aa tag for hours and getting spoilered rip) it was pretty stressful with the kidnapping djdjdj

yeah :) good game good game

#ty ferne for giving me the opportunity to run my mouth <3 #this took so long to put into words bc my brain is sooo empty hdjdj #im probably missing so much stuff but yes!!! here are some of my thoughts #asks #aa #jfa #misc #tumblr ate this so i had to repost it and idk if it removed anything i typed so umm hoping that did not happen lol!

2 notes · View notes

crescent14 · 7 months

Text

Secrets

Sorry for going MIA, but I am indeed alive. Here's a continuation to my story, enjoy!

AO3

"Hahahaha. There is no way that is true.", Adrien blurted out while wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.

"But it is!" Marinette defended, " Alya was even yelling at me to not go through with setting them up." Adrien kept snickering when she said that.

They were snuggled up on Marinette's chaise longue talking and laughing as the end credits of 'A Whisker Away' were rolling on her tablet, long forgotten by the couple. They were talking about how long they truly felt something for each other and everything they went through to get to where they were now- Adrien didn't even have to sneak out of his house (as Adrien or Chat Noir) to come to Marinette's place for what was supposed to be a study date but ended up with them finishing homework in an hour before deciding to watch a movie.

Since the chaise was too narrow for them to comfortably sit side-by-side, they decided to sit with Adrien's back on the board of the chaise and Mari's back to his chest. He rested his chin on the top of her head so that he could easily watch the movie as she held the tablet. He hugged her around her waist from behind as they snuggled into each other, watching the romantic movie.

In the past, when Marinette had friends over, her parents let them do whatever they wanted- so long as they didn't destroy the house- but when it was just Adrien, they were a little strict about keeping the trap door to her room open the entire time. They had no objections to that, so they obliged.

Once the movie ended, the young couple started talking about how long they liked each other. Marinette related to the movie's female protagonist since they both liked a guy long before he had any feelings for her.

Adrien would've jumped off the seat if Marinette wasn't pressed into him when he heard how long she liked him.

"Is that why you were always so nervous while talking to me?", he had always assumed his last name seemed intimidating for someone trying to get into the fashion industry, which was why he didn't take her stuttering as offensive in any way.

"Yeah, I was so afraid I would say the wrong thing, so I was always second-guessing myself around you.", she blushed, embarrassed that she had actually admitted her long-time crush to him.

"It's honestly more flattering to know that was the real reason you acted that way around me. I always thought it was because of my last name.", he quickly said, so she wouldn't try to curl up on herself.

Learning what happened when she tried to confess her love to someone for the first time, he couldn't exactly blame Marinette for putting up a barrier around her heart when it came to crushes. Adrien was her first crush after that incident, which was why she was so afraid to say what was truly on her mind.

So that neither one of them would get the chance to feel secure around the other, they promised that if one of them shared a secret or admitted something embarrassing, then so would the other. That way, they would not only learn more about each other, but they could help take down the barriers together.

They were currently talking about their trip to the zoo, where Marinette admitted she thought Adrien was the one to ask her on a date. In her defence, Nino was too frozen to speak, and Adrien was the one who planned the trip with her on his behalf, she just had no idea about that one tiny detail. Nino and Alya had already told her that Adrien was coaching Nino from behind the bushes, but it was news to Adrien that Alya was doing the same with Marinette. He burst into laughter realizing that she overheard everything, Nino said about his (fake) crush on her.

"I just realized, you lied when you said that these pics of me around your room were because you were into fashion, didn't you?", he gave her the same smug smirk he did the last time he asked her about them, but this time, she turned away to try and hide the blush he had already seen.

"I didn't exactly lie-", she started timidly.

"But you weren't telling the whole truth either.", Adrien finished for her. She shook her head no. "Everyone in our class knew about my crush on you, including Chloe. I'm honestly surprised she never told you."

Adrien chuckled at her comment. "I can't believe Nino managed not to tell me, considering how bad he is at keeping secrets.", he thought back to the time he told him about Carapace and Alya as Rena Rouge. "Alya sort of threatened him not to say anything.", she looked away shyly, "But I always thought he would eventually crack and tell you. It's the reason why most of the guys didn't say anything really, the girls helped keep them at bay."

That comment made Adrien curious, "Did you and Alya ever call the girls to talk about keeping your crush a secret?", he imagined the girls all huddled up in her room talking about him during a sleepover, which made him feel a little conscious about what their opinions about him were.

"Not exactly...", Marinette commented, raising his curiosity. So, she ended up telling him everything about 'Operation Secret Garden' and how it was interrupted by a giant akumatized baby. "We even had flower-based code names for everyone.", Marinette giggled at the memory. She truly couldn't ask for better friends.

The mention of code names got Adrien thinking about the time he helped her with her confession to a certain 'Buttercup' as Chat Noir. The confession was truly beautiful, but if what she said was true- that she liked him since the very beginning- what were the chances the confession was meant for him? He had to know without telling her he knew about the practice session she put him through. He would tell her one day, there was no doubt about it.

"You said everyone got code names? What kind?", Adrien asked trying his best to sound nonchalant about it.

Thankfully, Marinette told him without hesitation, "Mine was Lotus, Alya was tiger lily, Mylene was sunflower, Rose was tulip, Alix was violet and Juleka was rose. That was a mistake since Rose kept getting confused on who we were referring to.", Marinette giggled. Adrien smiled at the thought of them running around the Trochadero calling each other code names, but he noticed she only mentioned the names they gave within the group. Was this little plan not when they gave him the codename? Was it spur of the moment? How would he ask that? Adrien was not supposed to know about the codename 'Buttercup'.

Maybe a certain black cat could come over for a visit to try and find out what Adrien could not.

"Hey", Marinette interrupted his train of thought, "Can I ask you something?" She knew she didn't need permission, but the fact that she actually asked meant this question was not easy for her to say, Adrien would have to try his best to answer honestly, or as honestly as he could if it had anything to do with Chat Noir.

"You know you can ask me anything.", he gave her the most genuine smile ever, with a look full of adoration that made her heart flip in her chest. She almost forgot what she wanted to ask him. Almost.

"What- ", she wanted to ask about the other girl Adrien mentioned back when they were in the Grevin Museum the first time but didn't know how to bring it up without sounding insecure.

"Marinette! Adrien! Come down for dinner!", Sabine's voice interrupted her, and she took it as a reason to postpone her question for another day.

"Dinner? How long have I stayed over?", Adrien wondered as they started to get up to pack up their books which were still scrawled all over the floor.

"Time flies when you're having fun.", Marinette stated with a smile that made him wish they could forego dinner to just spend their time cuddling in each other's arms. He immediately shook his head of such thoughts, they were just 14.

Dinner was short, spent talking about everyone's day and hopes for the new school year. Mayor Bustier's new school allowed everyone to spend their high school years finalizing their future career aspirations, or furthering their skills if their minds were already made up. They all decided to take as much time as they could to go through every career possible till Adrien found the one that suited him perfectly, he could not be more grateful. Coming to school last year was no doubt the best decision of his life.

At the end of dinner, Marinette's parents bid the kids goodnight before heading to bed. Throughout the summer, the teens would spend entire days at each other's houses when they didn't have plans with anyone else in their friend group, so their parents were able to predict the they were going to busy having fun, after all, they were finally starting high school, they deserved it.

As much as they wanted Adrien to stay a little longer, her parents forbid it after they went to bed, which meant it was also time for Adrien to head home. In order to spend more time together, they would walk each other home hand-in-hand, and then continue their talks over the phone on the way back to their own houses, which is exactly what they were going to do.

Marinette realized too late that this was the perfect opportunity to continue the discussion they were having before dinner. Too late because Adrien seemed to realize it a second earlier than her, "So what was the question you wanted to ask me before we were called for dinner?". Adrien would be lying if he said he wasn't curious, what could possibly make her so nervous around him?

Her blush did nothing to slow the rapid beating of hi heart as the wait began to slowly kill him, "Remember when we first visited the Grevin Museum, with Alya and Nino?"

The name of the museum immediately took Adrien's mind to the prank he pulled on her and what she said in retaliation, in order save face from everything she had said while he pretended to be a statue. He realized that some part of what she told him that day was not true, and he stopped in his tracks face palming at how dense he was, "Adrien, what's wrong?", Marinette stopped with him, squeezing his hand with worry etched on her face. He pulled her into a tight hug before answering, "I'm so sorry I never realized. When you said I was 'not a good friend', I had no idea you were referring to me as more than a friend. It was when I was pretending to be a statue and you said all those nice things before kissing me that I could no longer deny I was feeling something for you. It took me a while to convince myself that what I was feeling was love, which is why I asked you to our second visit with Kagami and Luka."

That was all Marinette needed to hear at the moment, as she buried her face in his chest, hugging him tightly. "I was mortified when you pulled back, so I thought saying I knew it was a prank would stop you from questioning my actions. I am so sorry I confused you. I- ", she was interrupted with a pair of lips on her own. It took her a second to realize that Adrien was kissing her, before she reciprocated with just as much fervour. She got up on her toes to deepen the kiss as her arms snaked around his neck, he walked them back till she hit a wall behind her. They pulled back when air became a necessity, "Don't you dare apologize for what happened. Everything that happened between us got us to where we are now, I wouldn't change those memories for the world, good or bad. I love you, that's all the matters.", they stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like an eternity before their phones beeped an alarm, they were cutting it close to curfew. They were getting ready to sprint when they looked up to realize they were already at his house.

"I love you too. And I feel the same way about our memories together.", Marinette whispered, with a loving smile. They shared another lingering kiss before they reluctantly parted ways and she made her way home.

#miraculous ladybug #adrienette #mlb #post s5 #cute #post monarch

0 notes

mrkis · 2 years

Text

a twlg essay from one of my faves @thetypingpup!! ellie, you never disappoint me with these, thank you so much for being so involved. truly makes my day!! everything is below the cut!!!

Just wanted to respond to a couple points I've seen about jaemin not being as much of an asshole. We've seen mc go through anguish bc of the arrangement and bc of him and what he's done, while he's over here in la la land. We have not seen mc do anything that hurts or negatively impacts jaemin the way we've seen jaemin do with her. We just have yet to see it. The scales are very uneven at this point in time. That was the main point of the last long ass thing I wrote yesterday. In terms of thinking they're both equally flawed and equally being stupid, the text so far just doesn't support that bc we have not seen mc negatively affect jaemin to the same extent, nor have we seen mc make questionable decisions the way jaemin has.

With the debates about the exclusive proposal and whether or not it was a mutual decision later on, or if you wanna go further down the line and mention jaemin leaving in the middle of sex to go see eunbin, promising he'd come back, and then doing nothing of the sort, mc has yet to do anything like that. Mc has not done anything that we'd be able to debate or call into question to the same extent, and if you list things mc did wrong vs things jaemin did wrong, it's a very uneven list with actions that aren't weighted the same. So it's really hard for me to think like oh yea they're both just dumbasses or that jaemin's not that much of an asshole. Nah the scales are not tipping in jaemin's favor, nor are they balanced at all from my perspective.

Also the whole "he's a man" sentiment I've been seeing floating around confuses me a bit. Now I never said he was an abuser (nor have I seen any of his critics actually say that) bc he's not. That requires more that jaemin just does not have in him nor has he exhibited. Definitely no malice or deliberate manipulation. Withholding the mia reason is still really terrible i can't emphasize that enough, but at least he has the decency to feel guilty about it. An actual absuer wouldn't feel guilty about that. And it's easy to argue that that's super personal and he really doesn't know mc like that yet, but that falls apart when you remember he agreed to the honesty rule and he even pointed out the honesty rule to mc before this when she shied away from talking about Eric, and she opened up to all that personal shit with him. But when it's his turn to be fully honest what does he have to say? That he wants to do away with one of mc's fundamental boundaries to be able to act on his urges in public bc in private "where's the fun in that?". A lovely man indeed, complete non asshole.To say his actions at times are at best sus and questionable and at worst veer on the problematic, that checks out, and the whole "he's a man" aspect being brought up confuses me bc that doesn't make it any better. Men have a propensity to think with their dicks, but mc hasn't regarded him as a means to a sexual and/or emotional end the same way jaemin has to her. I doubt she would refer to jaemin as a distraction the way he did for example. She would add some more humanity to her descriptors of him, like a *friend* she has sex and fucks around with not a whole distraction. So reading some of jaemin's views on her it's like yeesh ok. All men do is lie yes, but he still lied that's still not good. When has mc ever lied to him for the reasons he lied to her? And his jealous "I'm not jealous" thing with yangyang too bc I noticed that mentioned, is sus too. By that point in his pov he's hasn't made it seem like he cares much about mc outside of sleeping with her and finding joy in the fact that she makes him forget about his ex, and if we're being honest it's moreso the latter the sex is more like a vehicle for that. So it just looked like he was jealous not bc of any care or feelings, but that another man was touching the woman that he is also touching. After all, he's a man right? 😬

Sidenote the asks about jaemin and yangyang not liking each other made me chuckle but they have a point. At this point have we seen them do anything but bicker and be petty over mc? 🤔

Now with the pills I wanna clarify what my issue was bc I should've clarified that more. As far as sobriety questions are concerned, my issue specifically is when mc is clearly affected by it, so three way kiss scene and on. So that man hauling her off for that bathroom scene and in his head being all like "*butterfly meme* is this exclusive?", hmm I gotta squint at that. To be fair he had injested some of it too, but we haven't seen details of him being affected by it in his pov vs what we see in mc's pov about being her affected. It didn't seem like mc was affected by the pill when she initiated the public kiss with jaemin BUT jaemim assuming that meant she wanted to be exclusive even tho that's not what she explicitly said EVER so far in the text, that was selfish as all fuck and honestly veers into the realm of sus. We have not seen mc be that selfish. If anything we've seen the opposite. And the fact that he had to try and convince himself it was mutual that's a red flag, but at least he had the decency to ponder it and question the validity of his decision, so pink flag? I'm not in the business of applauding fish for swimming, bc ofc you're supposed ponder where the other person's head is that's literally the bare minimum, but jaemin needs all the brownie points he can get it's hard for him in these streets.

Overtime jaemin does seem to care about mc outside of sex and forgetting about his ex, but it's not nearly to the extent that we've seen mc care about jaemin. We've seen selfishness motivate his actions more than we've seen it motivate mc's. The whole reason his attitude towards mc and debates about how shitty he is are coming up, at least for me, are bc of all these apparent feelings he has for her as a person and all this apparent care he has outside of sex and forgetting about his ex. If they were both regarding each other as just booty calls this whole time this wouldn't be nearly as much of a debate, but that just hasn't been the case. All the moments combined from all the parts make it look like they're in a relationship in everything but name, and we clearly see how mc regards him. Now it's time to scrutinize jaemin.

So far in his POV, anytime a moment would come up and it's like "oh here's some genuine care for mc" "oh here's a moment previously in mc's pov that seemed cute" or hinting at something more, it gets undermined by whatever follows or whatever is going on in his head during the moment and i'm like "oop nvm sorry for thinking you were being sweet my humblest apologizes". One example being the Eric pill part. It seemed like one thing in mc's pov, mostly protective with a hint of wanting to show eric what for, but then seeing the primary and secondary reasons are switched around with whole "it's all for show" attitude from jaemin (seriously what the fuck?) and all his thoughts in that scene, I was like "oops nvm thought you were doing this mostly to be protective so sorry to assume 🙏🏾". The fingering scene disparity is another one bc it's one thing to view the same moment differently that's how people work, but to me from mc's pov it seemed somewhat cute with the faintest hints of lustful infatuation. But then once i got in jaemin's head and all he could think about was all the things he could do to this person who spread her legs for him bc he finally forgot about his ex, i was like "welp sorry to assume won't happen again sir 🙏🏾". There's other assorted moments like that which is where the sweetness turning sour turning bitter came from.

So yea it’s the incongruence of the way they're regarding each other, and the disparity in the severity of their actions, that's where a lot of the distrust of jaemin comes from for me. Can't speak for everyone else, but this is why it's so hard to for me see him as more than a fucking asshole and a jackass (all the ass words really), and why it's hard to be anything but sad and sympathetic towards mc. I can't see this as even in any way, and now I'm fully expecting that man to undermine any cuteness or care that comes up in the next part bc that's his brand so far. Key words in all of this being "so far". Gonna wait for part 6.2 bc maybe mc will be more questionable in that part. Maybe it will be more level in terms of sus actions. Maybe jaemin will be just as negatively impacted as mc has been at this point. Fuck maybe jaemin will end up crying over mc the way she cried over him. Maybe. I would actually love to see that, more serious flaws and even some questionable shit from mc. That would be fascinating to read omg I would love to analyze her on that level. But who knows what's to come? (except you Cas ofc 😅)

[ mrkis response ] : i know i've said it before in the discord but ellie... istg if you somehow do a complete 180 from six(pt2) i will literally piss myself. but i'm... honestly loving these type of questions and reactions from you... watch me make jaemin a complete asshole on purpose just to get a reaction again out of you LMAO

anyways! it's true that opinions have changed on jaemin since six(pt1) come out... i did warn in the warnings that his pov could change everything!!! i just didn't think it would get like this jdkjsd but i'm so thankful. some of jaemins actions have been a bit... odd. and can come across as hurtful towards mc without a doubt. but jaemins head at that time is very "this is a fwb situation. we just fuck each other". and admittedly, mc's head should be like that too but shes just too sweet and kind and thoughtful :(

with jaemin leaving mc to go see eunbin and never coming back despite telling her he would, i promise there's a reason for that!! i've spoiled it a lil bit in the discord but i assure you, there was a reason behind it. everything happens for a reason here!! :D i can't really go into much detail abt it... but trust me :p

yangyang and jaemin really do bicker a lot which makes me laugh too, especially when people point it out kdjsfeijf and they do only ever talk abt mc... one of my fave moments from six(pt1) was when they where bickering in the kitchen and yangyang asked if jaemin had fucked her yet, and jaemin shot back with a "i will before you ever will" he was mean in that scene... and it definitely got to yangyang.

the pill scene was hard but fun to write. the pill didn't kick in for any of them when mc first initiated the kiss in front of everyone, that was sober her wanting to kiss him. in her pov, where she was like "fuck the crowd" it was her way of saying "fuck everyone, i wanna make out with this guy whenever i want too" !!!BUT!!! communication, yet again, is key. they needed to communicate abt it first. them thinking/answering in their heads does not help this situation at all.

jaemin does care abt mc outside of sex... and he does have a hard time showing it. he does things in his own little ways. but mc for sure does care abt jaemin more. mc is giving her 70% while jaemin is giving his 30% atm. its not fifty fifty... yet :p

#fic: the way life goes #thetypingpup #[moots🧷]

1 note · View note

flowersintheattic254 · 3 years

Note

Hi! I just wanted to say that there are people that believe Miarren is real without liking Mia. I don't like her style, her music, her sense of humor etc and she isn't someone I'd want in my life. That said, I believe Darren could be in a real relationship with her because a) even though I've been a big fan of him for twelve years I don't actually know him and b) relationships don't have to fake to be toxic or just not great. I see so much stuff about how Darren wouldn't choose to be with someone like her but I've known tons of really great people that married/dated assholes. Believing he married her out of actual love doesn't mean he must be an awful person.

Hi anon. Firstly thank you for coming to my ask in a non confrontational way. That’s appreciated right now. So I will answer in kind.

I also agree to a point with you. That as fans (and I’m including ALL fandom) we don’t know him truly or by extension M either. What we know is what’s put out there on SM, by his Team, M and D. We have to base our opinions on that. That for the most part is my issue.

I also take your point that nice people marry assholes irl, but anon ‘tons’ I’m concerned for you and your multiple friends trapped in toxic relationships. In my experience when a friend marries an asshole or stays with one they are usually being manipulated guilted or gaslighted. When kids are involved it’s worse because they get damaged by that toxicity because they don’t have the emotional maturity to cope.

So I do get what you’re trying to say here, but there are too many inconsistencies over the last 10 years for me to believe they are remotely real.

I never said D was an awful person, but I did say if it was a real relationship then they likely deserved each other. They don’t treat each other well publicly and if it were real D doesn’t protect her. I also said that historically if it’s real, yet toxic (as you suggest) then they treat each other horribly so bring a child into that toxic environment?

There are way to many red flags for me regarding their relationship. Let me list them and this is keeping CC out of the equation. These are NOT opinions and can be evidenced.

Ben the lodger of 3 years

Valentines 2017 - with no D and a semi dressed M.

Early years evidence they weren’t a couple pre gl/ee from D.

Renting the house they said they’d sold while pretending it was their home for 2 years

Red carpet running away from her multiple times. Early videos are a gold mine, but it still persisted until very recently.

No real proposal story + japami location. @klaineownsmysoul I now have the Will Smith song altered to ‘Welcome to Japami’!!

Timing of encage and now baby announcements for max exposure to projects. From ACS to a baby during AB.

5 encage rings

Having to back track on officiating their own wedding (because they legally can’t) by saying it was earlier.

The family honeymoon - hilarious

The ever present 3rd wheel to document mi@rren

The fact their romantic vacays including the honeymoon are #ads

The sponsorship of everything from the 5th encage ring to the wedding

The wedding which was aimed at fandom (no need if they are an iconic couple in love).

Kisses that miss - a lot. Kisses that don’t are staged

Darren’s memory lol

His physical uncomfortableness when lying

The team not allowing his mum to the awards ceremony.

The bar - D says he doesn’t own it.

D’s inability to talk about her and light up like he does about others

Recently calling the mother of his child s ‘mother fu*ker’ on video. Although that does tie in with the hideous wedding shot glasses.

The storybook fabrication of her CV to cover the fact her role is to beard for him.

Lack of chemistry- especially when caught off camera

These are just from the top of my head. I’m sure others will add. I guess RR has a go to list here to check.

It’s not about separating his work either. There is no separation and if it was a real relationship of 11 years anon it wouldn’t require this heavy lifting PR to prove it and by extension disprove CC.

34 notes · View notes

igotathingforvampires · 3 years

Text

Marcus x F!Human Reader | A Tug of Fate | Wildest Dreams Taylor Swift Inspo Babble

TRIGGER WARNING: CANONICAL TALK OF WANTING TO UNALIVE DUE TO LOSS

CANON DIVERGENT: DIDYME IS NOT MURDERED BY ARO BUT KILLED IN RAID

It was a rather bleak day, granted every day was bleak if it was Marcus' opinion. He didn't need sleep, hadn't for the last six thousand years, though the last thousand had made him want to close his eyes and not wake up.

If he had his way-- which he wouldn't thank to his blasted-- loving-- albeit pushy brothers and sisters.

Marcus was of the mind that after living as long as he did, once you lost your anchor there was no point in one even being here. And ever since she was gone. Lost to him and the world in an array of violence and diamond dust ash. He hadn't had the ability to even fathom a world without her.

And so, he had trudged, along and quiet, alone and miserable, weighted by the thousands of years of killing, betrayal, ruling, and chaos. But the one thing that had been a constant was the sweetest voice in the world calling his name.

As he stared out at Volterra from his rooms, he exhaled an unneeded breath, it was utterly bleak-- truly so. How was he supposed to keep going, for what another thousand, maybe more if humans didn't obliterate them all with their nuclear nonsense.

Marcus leaned over and placed his head in his hands staring at his feet. There it was again that incessant tug that had been happening for the last three days, pulling out his window into the city.

A chain had formed and he had no concept as to where it would lead, this phantom taunting from his own gift. Ghosts of the past, perhaps he was finally losing it.

But then as he turned his head, a flash of a sound.

A bell like laugh followed by words of humor. "Come on, you can't even look in there? Awe! It's so beautiful! Hm...seems kinda familiar..."

The voice trails off-- and the jerk of the chain is painful.

The voice had sounded so disappointed.

Marcus glared at the silence outside his windows past the gardens he and his love had built to the wall where the voice taunted him. Beckoned him, called him like a sailor to the sea to drown his misery in waters of oblivion.

With more determination than he had in a millennia he strode into his closet and got ready in a flash.

---

Your hand traces the walls of the gigantic palace like structure, the stone feels-- hm, it's hard to place, in fact this entire place feels just-- familiar.

You had booked a trip out of sheer randomness, flinging a dart at the board and it had landed in Italy, bringing a bigger map you had flung another dart and here you were-- Volterra.

What were the odds that this place had been in your dreams?

No one knew, none of your tour group, none of the people who jostled you along because it was time to check out the plaza and shops.

"I wonder what was in there..." you mutter softly unaware of the eyes watching you carefully till you turn and see a shadow partially covered by a walkway, sunlight carefully filtering through the greenery and terracotta roofing. "Hello?" You call smiling at the tall figure. "Hi! uh sorry I don't speak Italian but are you needing anything?"

The shadow moves back a few steps. You frown, and shrug, "well okay! Bye-bye!" you wave and prance back to your group.

---

Marcus had paused, you were not what he was expecting. Watching you in a sun dress with the setting twilight of Volterra glittering off your bangles and sun kissed skin.

He knew you.

But did you know him?

He followed carefully, watching as your group circled the plaza and fountain. Your head turned and caught sight of him, and you froze. Blinking quickly as if to clear your head. "Hi there!" A beaming smile crossed your face, honey eyes gleaming. Oh he knew those eyes. It was impossible to miss the specks of brown and tawny spindles of circles that would glitter with happiness.

Not your red eyes...oh no...not yet...

But did you remember.... you were not who you were...you were a new person... not weighted down by the sorrows of the past, a second chance to a clean slate of happiness....was that the Gods designs?

Had you come back?

Marcus sees you step forward, "excuse me. Do you live here?"

I thought heaven can't help me now Nothing lasts forever....

But this is gonna take me down

----

Your stunned. He's utterly beautiful. A tragic beauty you think, Romanesque features, tall build and so utterly still like a Sentinal posted at the gates of eternity waiting-- what was he waiting for...

The man nods, "yes, I am." His voice is pitched deep enough to rattle in your ear drums, and strike something deep in your soul. You're confused for a moment.

"Oh! how lovely, it's a beautiful city! I was about to go to a tour of the--" you pointed at a lovely lady gathering people but he is suddenly right in front of you.

"That is not a good idea, I hear the tour is quite dull."

"Awe...but it's for the Palazzo..." you pout a bit, "is it really that dull?"

He's watching you, as if trying to figure something out, "that is actually where I work, would you like a private tour?"

You smirk, "You're not a serial killer are you?"

He bows, half at the waist, a elegant-- out of time-- movement as he offers you a hand, one that engulfs your hand entirely as it closes on your fingers. "You shall be in the best care cara mia."

You realize he's freezing, and something clicks, another thought that this feels all too familiar. Those onyx eyes, the soft smile on his lips, the light lingering in his gaze as he looks straight into your soul.

----

I can see the end as it begins My one condition is...

Marcus has given you a tour of the entire Palazzo, hanging to keep the guard and you separated, and you away from the throne room away from the screams.

But as he comes to the garden he pauses. You're chattering away asking so many questions and tugging on his sleeve. He smiles at the happiness you have-- the bond is there, the same....the bond he had missed, but it's stronger, it's pure and it isn't weighted by the tainting of sorrow or the ever present torture of wanting to leave immortality.

He couldn't make you happy....you had been so bereft with immortality.

How were any of them to know?

But now? Marcus watched as you perused the gardens smiling at all the flowers. The setting sun sparking off auburn and black in your hair.

You glanced over your shoulder at him and smiled.

Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress Staring at the sunset, babe Red lips and rosy cheeks Say you'll see me again Even if it's just in your wildest dreams

----

---

"Can I ask you something?" you pause and glance at him.

"As I've said you may ask me anything and I shall answer it for you."

"You're going to think I'm crazy." You watch him pause, this mysterious guardian you've acquired. "D-do...do I know you?"

He raises a brow, but you can see it, the twitch of an emotion that is barely held in check.

"I... I feel like I do...and it's odd. I've never been here, I've never met you before but I--" you swallow feeling a deep welling of pain in your heart. "I missed you...." you don't understand and you feel tears clog your throat as you instinctively reach for him.

But he's caught your hand, a desperate, ecstatic look on his face. "I don't even know your name this time...." He whispers as he presses a cold kiss to your palm.

And his voice is a familiar sound Nothing lasts forever....

but this is getting good now

"it's y/n..." you whisper.

A wide smile. "....little one....Do you remember my name?"

You pause, and the answer floats up to your lips like bubbling champagne from a uncorked bottle.

Sweet, drunken, loving, everything, nothing, the world, and the universe wrapped up in heart strings of red.

"Marcus...."

Suddenly you're embraced, a cold kiss to your lips and the empty ache that had presided your whole life in your heart--

Was suddenly gone.

#wildest dreams #Marcus Volturi #Babble Writing

33 notes · View notes

starshiningsirius · 3 years

Text

As fragile as a flower (Yandere Lilia x reader)

Thank you to @megan-is-mia for the scenario idea!

It stung so, so badly. The scream released expressed the pain from the person who had been hurt. The pain subsided somewhat, unlike the smell of burning flesh that never went away.

The fae chuckled in amusement at the girl's pain. Having warned her subtly, but not entirely of the effects the collar he placed on her would cause, every time she would try to escape.

"Dearest do be a good little one and stop trying, though I won't stop you it only hurts me far worse when you get hurt."

"You liar! if that was the truth then you wouldn't have placed this crap on me!" She yelled but it was shortly accompanied by coughs a great many like she was getting sicker and more frail by the moment.

Lilia walked over to her worry brought with his approach trying to use a spell that would temporarily heal her of her ailment. Since she didn't trust him with a potion or the medicine. As soon as he lifted his hand though she smacked it away.

"I'd rather die than be stuck here with an obsessive sadist." Was her response to the action she took causing the fae to sigh.

"Remind me again who was it that got herself here in the first place, you were so ignorant and without my help you wouldn't be here. It's not my fault your so delicate my dear. I only wish for your well being and in turn you could at least show a bit of gratitude." He said with a frown or maybe a pout. It actually made him look innocent as an angel.

What a goddamn lie.

* * *

Where had it all began?

Let's see all the way back at NRC it was just another normal day. Silver and Lilia were having tea with one another while discussing the day that had passed.

Silver happened to mention a girl he had saw in the infirmary. She was coughing very much like she was dying for air. He was about to get the school nurse but she stopped him.

"Wait, I'm fine they know already!" Was something along the lines of what she said.

Lilia was always curious and someone so weak and frail at this school just threw him for a loop. He wanted to go see the sickly one for himself.

He did find her back in the infirmary at lunchtime coughing yet again. He had scared the living daylights out of her when he teleported close.

"Sorry to startle you young one I can't help but wonder how someone like you could survive in a school like this?"

The question unnerved her to say the least as he pushed some of her hair behind her ear. The fae whipped out a charming smile as he had recalled to introduce himself.

"Ah, where are my manners? Lilia, Lilia Vanrouge. Pleasure to meet you my dear."

Though there first encounter was a bit unnerving they managed to get along for the most part. He'd scare her with his sudden appearances of course he found fun in seeing her scared. He'd also guide her to the infirmary during lunch to keep her on track to get some medcine.

They were good friends for the most part. Except for the fact that overtime Lilia just hadn't realized how much protection his friend had needed. How fragile she truly was until an incident had opened his eyes to what he had been missing.

That was when things really went south. She didn't arrive to their tea party after waiting 10 minutes. He knew for a fact her medicinal doses were at noon every day. This tea party was after class and she'd text him if she was going to be late. She didn't have any club activities either since Silver and Sebek both in the Equestrian club with her were with Malleus today. He already knows how Riddle gets when missing a member.

So where could she be?

It was nothing for him to teleport in the school and move about at visible incomprehensible speeds to find her. Of course he stopped when he heard laughter. The type of laughter of someone who had gotten away with a scheme. Peaking around the corner of the empty corridor he found the source of the laughter.

Savanaclaw students.

Someone was lying on the floor as well. He only just noticed them. When he finally realized who it was, it was like his soul left his body and consciousness slipped away.

He hated it, more than anything. He just had to take the anger he felt out on something. They were the cause of this and they would pay the price. Before he realized it they were dead, all of them. He had left their bodies there for someone else to find. It's not like the paintings saw him and there weren't any cameras in that hall anyway.

The thing no, person in his arms was who he was most worried about right now was far more important. Lilia couldn't even comprehend what he was feeling at the time. The sheer amount of worry and the increasing of his heartbeat, he didn't have time to think about it all.

He brought her back to the Diasomnia Lounge with a snap of his fingers leaving the violent, bloody, backdrop of the hallway behind. He placed her on the couch gently. Finally using his magic to the best of his ability to heal her.

He finally took a chance to breath after making sure her heart was still beating. She was still unconscious though. His heart was still pounding and he took a moment to reflect.

This wasn't like him at all. A lowly human protected by a powerful fae. As much anger as he showed but actually couldn't remember very well. He had lost it just after seeing her like that.

How ironic that someone as old and powerful as himself felt love toward someone so youthful and fragile as a flower. Her entire being in a school like this wasn't meant to be. He had come to wonder how she even got here.

Why someone as delicate and fragile as her would be placed in a school full of villainy?

* * *

That same event had flashed through his eyes at that moment in time. The bruised state she was in.

He couldn't help his sudden desire. To protect one of the few things he holds precious. This is different than Malleus, Silver, or Sebek. They're fully capable of protecting themselves. But her if he hadn't been there she would have probably died. It's only better if she stays in the castle where he can keep an eye on her.

He had a smirk on his face as he caressed the cheek of the girl he had fallen for. Eagerly casting the spell that would heal her momentarily.

He knew a spell that could heal her ailment completely but that would ruin the fragile image he had made of her in his head. After admiring the adorable glare she sent him for a second he finally opened his mouth to speak.

"Oh love as fragile as a flower you are. Certainly you don't belong at a school like that. I'll protect you from all the harm this world offers including yourself."

Masterlist

#twisted wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere lilia vanrouge #yandere lilia vanrouge x reader #twst lilia #lilia vanrouge #twisted wonderland lilia

171 notes · View notes

silverinia · 3 years

Text

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

#Christine Baranski #Christmas On The Square #dolly parton #shitty movie reviews by yours truly

12 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 3 years

Text

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [So, the night before this friendmas, which is probably the next day from the nativity moment, like this is the first day of the holiday vibe] Janis: We're still on for their friendmas bullshit? Jimmy: can't 😭 off Janis: It's still worth it Janis: for the amount of damage that can be done in one sitting Jimmy: it were my 🥇💡 don't need telling Janis: Checking you were still up for it Janis: and we have to make the food to bring Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Helpful as that is, what do you want to make and where do you want to make it? Jimmy: Where are you? Janis: my grandparents Jimmy: nearer yours or mine? Janis: yours Janis: mine is near nothing Jimmy: come here then Janis: alright Janis: just trying to think of ways to sneak calories into shit without pouring butter onto a salad Jimmy: look up thanksgiving recipes, they're known for that bollocks Janis: okay Janis: and you'll be...? Jimmy: cleaning my kitchen, that alright with you? Janis: Fine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: My sister thinks Mia might invite her boyfriend Jimmy: 💰 on him not showing up Janis: What I said Janis: in case he does though Janis: she was useless with any other info Jimmy: 💔 her and this group chat Jimmy: not actually that bothered what Asia might wear Janis: 🙄 Janis: how much freedom is there with a fucking jumper Janis: she said they don't eat fuck all sustaining but no shit there, hence the plan Jimmy: [sends her a pic I saw of a real jumper that has the tit cut out and like a red reindeer nose over the person's nip or something I can't remember] Janis: Oh Janis: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: distract from the teeth but nah Jimmy: Dunno who's got her for the 🎁 giving but 🤞 for invisalign Janis: budget kit that ain't dentist-approved I saw on insta Janis: 🤞 it'll fuck her up harder Jimmy: all teeth to no teeth Janis: fit in with 💀👑 and 💀#2 Jimmy: mash 🥔 or 🍠 it is Janis: 🍠 is too vom-inducing as is Janis: hide 💊s in it like 👶🐶 Jimmy: is that marshmallow thing bollocks or what? Janis: nah, that's legit Janis: we could do that Janis: cultural Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: you can cover everyone's plates in gravy Janis: not a euphemism Janis: #northern Jimmy: I'd have a job if you were expecting the euphemism Janis: you're alright Janis: amusing, but suspicious when I'm not touching my plate Jimmy: very trusting of you to crack on with any of it as is Janis: I doubt they're wasting laxatives on me Janis: skinny enough Janis: it'll just be gross Jimmy: weren't where my 🧠 went but alright Janis: ? Janis: oh, very Agatha Christie Janis: not gonna kill themselves to kill me, I'll watch the plates and serving up Jimmy: nowt rich lasses won't monogram, theirs'll be safe and sound Janis: what about yours? Janis: you might get roofied Jimmy: take my chances downing the gravy, too northern for owt else, you said it Janis: that'll be nice Jimmy: 😍 obvs Janis: I meant for me when I inevitably have to 💋 you Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: it's at #2s Janis: odds on a 👑 shrine somewhere? Jimmy: near her 🛏 Janis: under it when she's about Janis: in it when she ain't 💔 Jimmy: we don't have to sleep there in a bit, do we? Janis: oh bollocks Janis: I'm sure we can get out of it, as we technically were not invited Janis: pretty sure they do a sleepover too though Janis: any excuse Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I know Jimmy: I'm going down the shop, what bollocks do we need? Janis: [a list I'm not committing you to but we know the vibe] Janis: I've already got [shit we're stealing soz mcvickers] Jimmy: alright Jimmy: if you get here before I'm back, my sister'll let you in Janis: did she come to the nativity with yous? Jimmy: dragged kicking and marding, weren't that what I said? Janis: right Janis: apologies for doubting you Jimmy: tah Janis: what about the kid? Jimmy: what about him? Janis: where'd he end up on the scale Jimmy: we don't have a scale for him Janis: 😭 to 😁 Jimmy: near ☹️ Janis: no tears, at least Jimmy: can sign what we like without being those dickheads shouting out 🦻 perks Janis: that is useful Jimmy: and the 🐕's got somewhere new to sleep an' all Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: totally worth the money we didn't spend then Janis: can have these jumpers too after Jimmy: ain't yours itchy? Janis: feels like I'm wearing a barbershop floor Janis: but I didn't reckon your dog would be that fussy Jimmy: meant to be your specialist subject Janis: like ☕ is yours? Janis: not my passion, it's easy money Jimmy: there ain't much to know about ☕ don't need passion Janis: 🤫 Janis: you 💘 every bean Jimmy: it's only 💕 for your sister and her mates Janis: anything but getting a personality Janis: I know Jimmy: gotta put something in their bio Janis: 'IM AN EMPTY VESSEL' comes off desperate, even on tinder Jimmy: as 🤰 pact's go Janis: don't even Jimmy: very festive Janis: messiahs aren't being popped out 5 at a time Jimmy: they'd never be satisfied with 3 🎁s any road Jimmy: full baby shower or nowt Janis: yeah Janis: no doubt Grace will be torturing me with as much any time soon Jimmy: 🍾🍾🍾 Janis: 🔨🔨🔨 Jimmy: 👶👶👶👶👶 Janis: have to smash the poor bastards and all Janis: not worth thinking about Jimmy: ⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ Janis: yeah funerals are much better craic Janis: have as many of them as she likes Jimmy: matching the shades of black'll do her head in Janis: 🤞 Janis: the breakdown will give her a personality Janis: got there in the end, babes Jimmy: @ me Jimmy: be on the edge of my seat waiting to find out Janis: if your details don't get lost when you change back to your real identity Jimmy: 💔 I can't be @ing you on the off chance, be coming off as desperate an' all, me Janis: doubt she'll be so bombastic herself she'll turn down a DM request Janis: have a go, like Janis: dare to 💭 Jimmy: just pop in using my 👻 form, can't I? Jimmy: keep it between us Janis: my lips are sealed Janis: how you use your afterlife is your business Jimmy: got nowt else on Janis: optimistic Janis: you might be moving to 🥳 central Jimmy: Go on, where's that? Janis: Ian in the know, not me Jimmy: dare to 💭 Janet Janis: I don't care where I end up Janis: just not here is fine Jimmy: weren't talking about you, big head Janis: Not too fussed where you end up either Janis: not gonna lie Jimmy: What did you bring it up for then? Janis: You're moving Janis: you said Jimmy: and? Jimmy: 🥳 central were what you said, not me Janis: I don't know what you're getting at Jimmy: if you're not bothered, what are you getting at? Jimmy: no need to 🗨 bollocks were something else you said Janis: I was just messing about, both statements Janis: I didn't know everything I 🗨 had to be deadly serious Jimmy: I didn't know there were 1 rule for you and another for me Janis: it's a bit different from you calling me a slag but fine Janis: you've made your point Jimmy: nah, the point were that I were never calling you a slag Janis: you were joking, okay Jimmy: but go on and take it to your ⚰ Janis: I'm trying to have a normal conversation with you right now and you're the one being moody Jimmy: you're the one who said we don't need to have a conversation Janis: well we clearly do when we have shit to do Jimmy: we've sorted the 🍽 Janis: right, so tell me to piss off then Jimmy: and have to piss about cooking on my own? You're alright Jimmy: nowt like the threat of a good time, that Janis: then what Jimmy: then come here Janis: [do that] Jimmy: [this won't be awkward at all] Janis: [the tension and the kids are home so that'll not be remotely getting dealt with] Jimmy: [cos I'm evil like that hahaha, we're gonna both be so extra at friendmas, love it] Janis: [it also makes sense like if school is out now where you gonna be hens, truly idk what you're gonna say though girl] Jimmy: [like you could've hooked up on the trampoline but you would probably freeze to death and also Twix wouldn't allow it soz lads] Janis: [not on my watch Twix says, at least you can focus on making this side dish the weirdest most calorific moment] Jimmy: [having fun in spite of yourselves as per] Janis: [I want you to apologize but also not but that is difficile hmm, probably later if you get vaguely tipsy at this event] Jimmy: [and get swept away by the emoshness of fake gifting] Janis: [we know there will be plenty of time for moments abound then] Jimmy: [you'll be bored rigid otherwise] Janis: [mhmm and this is far from over hunnies] Jimmy: [whatever you do don't let Twix eat that while you're shamelessly distracted acting like it's all nbd] Janis: [or the kids lmao lowkey gotta hide this monstrosity when you're done] Jimmy: [hide it when you go 🚬 boy because we're stressed by the fact that whenever we try to have fun rn we then remember she said it was a mistake] Janis: [oh this misunderstanding, 'cos we only said it 'cos we thought that's what he was saying basically, lordy, also hate being left in his house like excuse me do I go now or] Jimmy: [what a time to wish you weren't alive] Janis: [coming out 'cos fuck just waiting or leaving, 'is there anything else we need to do?'] Jimmy: [automatically passes her a 🚬 because that bitch] Janis: [takes it like true, can't hurt] Jimmy: ['what time's the last bus?' cos he's assuming she's going home and that she's probably missed it] Janis: [shakes head 'I'll stay at my grandparents, no need to go home now'] Jimmy: [a look around like alright where's that because the ankle is still a thing and we're still worried about it] Janis: [a genuine oh-you kinda smile 'cos honestly 'literally a couple of streets from here, actually] Jimmy: [nods like okay, we'll go when you're ready cos obvs he's walking her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't need an early night for friendmas, do we' like excuse you, I might have plans] Jimmy: [shrugs 'bit of a ball ache to get the chains of the bed and bring 'em with'] Janis: [😏'you could have a night off'] Jimmy: [makes a point of putting her leg on him to rest and elevate that ankle like no I cannot] Janis: [just looks at it and sighs 'I can't not walk, there's shit to do'] Jimmy: [just looks at her and you know they haven't made eye contact this whole time SO THERE'S THAT 'I know it hurts' in a soft way] Janis: [we gotta look away 'cos byeeeeee, shrugging and mumbling like 'it was just a stupid accident, I'm fine'] Jimmy: [nudging her, not hard obvs like 1. look at me and 2. don't be shrugging at me rn and shaking his head 'a stupid accident that were my fault' like LET ME HELP YOU!!] Janis: [shaking her head for all the reasons and then blurting out 'I'm embarrassed!' then being even more so like ffs] Jimmy: [cupping her little face in his hands the gentlest EVER 'what for?' because she literally has nothing to be embarrassed about] Janis: [looking at him like where do I start lol 'cos this has been so fast and so messy, not to mention the fact you now wanna kiss him and that's one of the things you think you need to be embarrassed over 'I don't need help, that's not- I'm not used to that'] Jimmy: ['it's alright' spoken like it'll be true if he just says it soft and with enough feeling, but then obvs we gotta recover ourselves a bit because vulnerability who is she 'I only were offering to take all them dogs out for a piss for you, not a kidney' but we're still not giving it full pisstake in how we're saying that or being] Janis: [pushing him but gently too, because likewise trying to get back to this more pisstakey energy without going too hard too fast 'not my fault you're like top nurse without even trying then' 'cos you're doing and have done way more than that, we know boy] Jimmy: [lowkey 😳 but we're hiding it with 😏 and the wintery darkness as we nudge her back but turn it into a feelsy lean for a while then giving her his phone like put that dog walking schedule in there girl I mean it] Janis: ['I ain't gonna be able to take your CG shifts, like' and mimes murdering all the customers in various ways but we do lean back too, even if momentarily 'you could meet me for the ones you can and do the hard work, and I'll sit on the bench, yeah?' and puts hand out like deal?] Jimmy: [does a 💔 mime because we would love to see that murder spree but obvs shaking on that legit suggestion with a legit little smile cos we're chuffed she's actually accepting a hand in any way] Janis: ['I can do more hard work with the plan' like all the socials whilst I sit there honey and mimes taking creep shots of him] Jimmy: [OTT 😍 to hide the realness, then he remembers that speaking of, he obvs won't have done a doodle for her today so gesture for her to stay put while we run and get a pen and paper right now immediately but as we're going we turn back like oh! again 'do you want the bag peas chucked back for a bit?'] Janis: [going to shake our head automatically but then checking ourself like oop 'might freeze to my skin out here, like' shrugs 'but go ahead'] Jimmy: [does bring a blanket with all the other shit because we just wanna be out here away from kids and dogs soz] Janis: [day #1 of this hol and we're done lmao, little kids do be feral when it's this close to xmas, even good ones like bobby] Jimmy: [yeah and don't even start me on how all the pressure for having a good christmas is on him because Ian isn't that bitch and Cass is highkey hoping their mum will appear even though they've moved and that ain't happening babe soz] Janis: [mHMM thank god Ian is a buy your love type so he will get them presents, it's just the rest] Jimmy: [what are you doodling today boy, obvs some kind of domestic af cooking moment but no #spoilers gals] Janis: [just get snuggled in these blankets and make sure he is too] Jimmy: [can't and won't stop the happy sigh because we've been so stressed] Janis: [some joke about art being his 💘 but we're glad obvs] Jimmy: [🙄 but 😏] Janis: [tryna peep at what he is drawing though, obvs x2] Jimmy: [will playfully get you with this pen like oi] Janis: [offended like where's my pen 'play fair' accidentally saucy] Jimmy: [we know he'll give you that pen and just write on you/tickle you in his fave manner, drawing a 🏆 like we're playing to win not fairly hen] Janis: [just loling like get off 'cos ticklish af 'we're meant to be a team, dickhead' and draws her own 🏆 with 'worst sport' in the plaque thing] Jimmy: [draws the JJ 💘 really big and deliberate to really tickle and also make a point like okay] Janis: [a question mark when we've stopped squirming like do you really get it though, also a throwback] Jimmy: [a LOOK like do you] Janis: [just nods and gives the pen back like okay, finish your drawing] Jimmy: [does and again signs it like a big nerd before giving it to her] Janis: [we love it hun but we never know what to say 'tah for not giving away the poison plot in your art like an idiot' and putting it away to photo later in an indoor light moment] Jimmy: [a noise like not an amateur tah and going to make tea because 1.northern 2. it's cold 3. he doesn't know what to say/is awks about his art too] Janis: you're in the wrong profession Jimmy: ? Janis: 1. artiste 2. only old ladies order pots of tea, yeah? Jimmy: 1. why be starving when there's loads of 🍪🥐🥪🍰 going at the job I've got 2. bit sexist to the 👴 Janis: 1. 🐷 2. tell me they ain't always with their 👵 Jimmy: 1. Only 💕🐕's you, I get it 💔🦝🗑 2. sounds fake, so obvs I'll 🗨 it to you, mate Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: miss you an' all Janis: You could see me from there if you really wanted Jimmy: [peeps from the kitchen window like hey] Janis: [waving like oh hey you fool] Jimmy: [signs something feelsy because she won't understand it we're safe] Janis: [big ? in the air} Jimmy: [just loling like nope as we mime confusion like idk what you mean or want rn soz because we're taking that to our grave] Janis: [shouting 'bring me my fucking tea' manners and decorum] Jimmy: [does and a box of some kind of festive biscuit selection that the children have already got at so there's only shit ones left lowkey but still] Janis: ['you know how to treat a girl' when we're saying it like we're joking but not really lmao] Jimmy: [shove a biscuit in your mouth boy so you don't say anything you wish you hadn't and also because we're making a bants point like yeah so romantic me] Janis: [wipe the crumbs from his bottom lip like he did 'oi, I've had an idea' softer than that oi suggests, we're not shouting now lol] Jimmy: [shamelessly looking at her lips once she's touched his like is that your idea, focus please sir 'go on'] Janis: [failing to pretend we didn't notice that but still carry on tah 'well #2 and every fucker on her street is gonna have excessive lights and decorations about, what do you reckon to shrinking their energy bill? if we go out when they're asleep, they'll not notice, and we could get back here and do your house before your brother and sister wake up' like how magical even you will love it don't lie cass] Jimmy: [when you can't help genuinely grinning because that's such a good idea we're falling in love rn okay like he's gonna have felt so bad about not having the time, money or energy to decorate, gotta recover ourselves again quick so does an IRL 🤞 'all her pink glittery baubles'll really get Ian in the christmas spirit' but really we're not thinking about him and it'll look epic Janis: [grin back 'cos it's infectious ''cos no way am I sleeping in a room with that lot in' and shrug like, we may as well, as if you remotely had to suggest anything of the sort] Jimmy: ['give us nightmares if all them calories don't' never miss a opportunity to shade the flatwhites honey] Janis: ['I can protect you from them, but not the calories, I'm so sorry' 😏] Jimmy: [eats another biscuit like I reckon I'll live] Janis: [an impression of a Mia shade face like you fat bitch] Jimmy: [an impression of Ella being 😭💔 DEVASTATED] Janis: [snatching the tin like no more for you, and getting one all smug like delicious] Jimmy: [OTT Jimothy pout because always] Janis: [flippant 'deal with it, babes' 'cos mustn't linger LOOKING at him again] Jimmy: [cringing in a way that is OTT but not that fake because she's too good at these impressions and chucking the blanket over her head like begone] Janis: [had enough years of this hoe being present to be an expert, just pulling the blanket down and around our shoulders like ha ha more for me, but gesturing that he should move closer and get under to keep warm too] Jimmy: [does because any excuse to snuggle and likewise play with her hair like it's so in my way rn lemme just] Janis: [hence I got you the present I did honey heheheh, know we're likewise here for this] Jimmy: [just having a moment ™] Janis: [one of the kids should need you or Twix should start wildin' soz boys] Jimmy: [yeah realistically it could be time for Bobby to go to bed depending what time she came over/he could have woken up] Janis: [either way honey, you better skeddale so he can sort this] Jimmy: [we know you're both fuming but especially him because he was gonna carry you to mcvickers gaff] Janis: [soz boy, you can be the most tomorrow though] Jimmy: [we both know he will LOL] Jimmy: [also gonna say he opens up at the CG because putting in a quick shift and doing any dog walking he can for the bae all before this friendmas has even started is just the difference between him and the gals, with the exception of Grace] Janis: [wig tea sis] Jimmy: [tired before you even get there] Janis: [we are that sick of y'all so it's a mood, frankly, but for now] Janis: night Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you better be hopping back, dickhead Janis: [video of her hopping like don't fall] Jimmy: 🥇🏆💪 you Jimmy: 🦩 goals if nowt else Janis: 🤔 not not a compliment Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: the first bit were Janis: True Janis: pretend I didn't see the rest Jimmy: 🙈🙈🙈 Janis: I've learnt my lesson with blindfolds, tah Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: and here's me with no chance to find out if sir's gonna be more receptive to my kinks Janis: find out if he's alright with broken bones Janis: gonna say unlikely, he flipped his shit over some cut ties Jimmy: @ something about virgin school girls Janis: mhmm Janis: he'd much rather injure you than the other way 'round Janis: it's alright, maybe tomorrow Janis: don't need to be blinded by the decor tbh Jimmy: should've got you a onesie to zip over your head, up for that challenge, massive though it is Janis: oh yeah, the gimp range Janis: 🙄 Janis: you have to pretend to be pleased to see my beautiful face, remember Jimmy: tah for the reminder, would've forgot and done full Home Alone 😱 Janis: yeah, you're about as annoying as that little fucker Janis: tracks Jimmy: rude Jimmy: you'd be chuffed if I had his house Janis: what for? Janis: so I could get you tenants and take the cash? Jimmy: 'cause what's fake mine is fake yours Jimmy: and you must have a bigger 🧠 in that MASSIVE head than the robbers he had to see off Janis: if I was worried about that, I'd let Mia make the moves she wants to Jimmy: so ominous, that Janis: 💋 not 💀 Jimmy: I'd rather 💀💀💀 Jimmy: but you crack on Janis: that's why I said IF I gave a fuck Jimmy: if as massive as her 😍 for her daddy, I get it Janis: thank god it's at Ella's Janis: wouldn't be getting away from hers unmolested Jimmy: can't move for mistletoe, I bet Janis: Baby, it's cold outside Janis: 😈 Jimmy: What IS in that drink? 😏 Janis: me checking yours tomorrow so they don't do my job for me Jimmy: Bill's 👻'll only let us have owt off each other's lips, it'll take fucking ages to 💀💀💀 Janis: you're just an actor on his stage and a player in his 🌍 Janis: have to suck it up and deal with the torture Jimmy: 👍 Janis: No enthusiasm needed 'til tomorrow Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: don't need an early night, you said Janis: your brother seemed like he did though Janis: not trying to get in the way of that top brother 🏆 Jimmy: 🍪 sugar crash did him before us Janis: fair Janis: feeling it and all Janis: still buzzing though Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 😵 🥴 🤢 🤮 scale Janis: I'm solidly 🥴 Jimmy: lightweight Janis: I don't work in a cafe Jimmy: and what? Janis: 🍪🥐🥪🍰 Jimmy: never pull your weight, you Janis: just 'cos you eat yours in baked goods Janis: one of us has to be 💪 Jimmy: hang on, who's been carrying who? Janis: I would carry you Janis: you monopolized it by crippling me Jimmy: convenient excuse that Janis: okay, you aren't 💀👑 daddy don't try it Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: rudest bollocks you've ever said to me Jimmy: how dare you TBH Janis: come back when you've got your law degree and fathered a demon Janis: then we'll talk Jimmy: I'll chuck 'em both at your window, Juliet 📜👶 Janis: 😍 Janis: just don't break it Janis: my window, that is Jimmy: any 👶 of mine's gonna be a right fat bastard, nowt I can do about that, soz Janis: soft landing Janis: all's well that ends well Jimmy: do what you like with the broken glass, so crafty, you Janis: depends if you're gonna come in Janis: obviously Jimmy: it's how it's written Janis: ? Jimmy: I get your attention, you give me it Jimmy: hang your head out or Bill will be fuming Janis: unfortunately there ain't no pool under my window Janis: but that's probably not an original feature of the play Janis: just an excuse to see Leo all bedraggled Jimmy: get him wet to do the same for all the lasses 👀🍿 Janis: poetic Jimmy: IKR Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: Shame it's not festive or I'd suggest it Jimmy: fucking hell, if they're gonna force us to watch Elf, sod the plan, I'll 💀💀💀 myself Jimmy: another poem for you Janis: 1. hot 2. I refuse, think it's gotta be illegal to force us to watch it, it's in the geneva convention, yeah? I'll ask daddy Jimmy: @ him Janis: @litigationandtitilation Jimmy: 😂 Janis: she helped him come up with it Jimmy: DUH, nowt they don't do together Janis: 💕 Janis: dead jealous Jimmy: me an' all Janis: we'll all get to bond over our daddy issues Janis: can't wait Jimmy: #realgoals Janis: obviously Janis: I ain't got them any gifts, have you? Jimmy: I'm working, I'll bring 'em a latte Jimmy: menu full of 🎄 bollocks they ain't bothered to work through yet Janis: how disappointing they'll literally be thrilled Janis: too 😍 to handle, you Jimmy: you gonna meet me there or what? Janis: 🤔 Janis: probably the most #goals if we arrive together Janis: and fuck knows how far they can see from her tower Janis: I could come to your work Janis: pick you and the lattes up 💪🏆 Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: just lemme know when you're finishing up then Jimmy: I'll make you something that ain't poisoned Janis: that a threat? Jimmy: more #goals to call it a romantic gesture Janis: 'course Jimmy: get your head in the game, girl Janis: it is Janis: just working out if there's any ways we can fuck it up before even arriving Jimmy: what, like get 💀👑 hopes up and then piss on them even harder? Janis: yeah, like that Janis: or get all the rest on our side, somehow Janis: that'd fuck her off no end Jimmy: so go on, what would it take? Jimmy: other than 💀#2 there's no challenge in it Jimmy: piss easy it were to get Asia to invite us Janis: you're probably more of an expert than me then Janis: like, we've got to make it actually a decent time, the kinda party they wanna have Janis: instead of what 📸s well Janis: and what Mia allows Janis: but we can't just fully steamroll in and be blatant about it Janis: or 💀👑 & 💀#2 would pull ranks Jimmy: what kind of party do they wanna have? Janis: they never look like they're having fun Janis: they're dead in the eyes Janis: even if it ain't my exact idea of, sure we can come up with better, right? Jimmy: easy when we put our massive heads together Janis: Asia is the easiest, we could basically ask her and she'd tell us without clocking Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: Grace were #livingherbestlife when she punched you with a beauty blender, I'll let her 💄💅 me if it pushes 💀👑 off the scale Janis: I'm sure that's just pent-up anger issues Janis: but maybe you've messed up her order one too many times 🔪🔪 Jimmy: deliberately Jimmy: my only joy, that Janis: 😂 Janis: might have a tiny bit of respect for you now Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: pretend to be her boyfriend for a change and you can do one of those tag videos Jimmy: you're alright, my CV'll survive without that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: fair Janis: don't need the rumours Jimmy: if she wants footage, WE'LL get her some, as a team, dickhead Janis: she will be 📽 Janis: so alright Jimmy: always ready for a close up, me Jimmy: and you do alright keeping up an' all Janis: wait 'til I ain't hopping, like Jimmy: that's her, what does the big one want? Janis: you haven't 👀 her about doing this weird dances? Jimmy: steady on, she WEREN'T having seizures? Janis: yeah, I know Janis: it's shocking Jimmy: you'll fuck your other ankle, I ain't having that Janis: you volunteer then? Jimmy: there's gotta be something else they do on that app Janis: are you interested in miming the lyrics to a shitty dance song? Jimmy: POV: your 👻 fake boyfriend Janis: you can go for that oscar Janis: I hope she doesn't try to be funny, or if she does, then I need to watch all her content rn Janis: welcome for the view Jimmy: might win 💀👑 over with the one where I play her dad Janis: 💀💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: or better yet 💀#2 when I have a go at 💀👑 Janis: the plan isn't you seduce everyone Janis: friends not 💦💦 boy Jimmy: it's a fucked plan then Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: you're that insatiable or irresistible? Jimmy: I'll be that itchy Jimmy: jumper's coming off any road Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: *😍 Janis: I'll bring it tomorrow, babe Jimmy: UGH FINE Janis: put your tits away Janis: honestly Jimmy: SO jealous, you Janis: Ha Janis: SO original, you Jimmy: your tits can have 🥈 Joanne, nowt wrong with them or that Janis: Piss off Janis: 💀👑 tell you it don't count if it's just fat Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMFG! 😱😱😱 Jimmy: should've said you wanted to get her hopes up with a fake breakup Janis: would be well triggering, no doubt Janis: only talk to argue, her lot, you can tell Jimmy: #relatable Jimmy: gonna have to 💀💀💀 myself now Jimmy: been nice fake knowing you, my dear Janis: oh no you don't Janis: not being a fake widow Janis: can't pretend to be that 💔💔💔 for the rest of my life Jimmy: @iantaylor8 with your 💔😭🎻 Jimmy: can't have owt in common with that lot for a day in my life, tah Janis: I'll feel sorry for you when you're fucking twins with one of them Jimmy: So you want my pity? Don't sound like you but alright Janis: nah, just won't be giving you no 🤗 and 😘 Jimmy: What then? What's my 🎁? Janis: 🕞👀 Jimmy: Come on, I'll fake the surprise Janis: don't get too excited Janis: I haven't nicked you no 💎 Jimmy: bit rude but that's probably my fault for not sitting on your lap and telling you what I want Janis: not too late Janis: see what her ma has lying about Janis: but yeah, if you'd have been more prepared, maybe I woulda been too Jimmy: just the odd 💍👑💼💰 or 🐴 nbd Janis: you're demanding now but you've missed your chance Janis: gutted Jimmy: not too late, you said Janis: you might get A 💎 Janis: can't do the full list now Jimmy: [pouty face 🥺 selfie, we're coming for your life Savannah, soz] Janis: what's in it for me if you ain't gonna sit on my lap? 🎅 Jimmy: never said I wouldn't Janis: 🔊 is cheap Janis: 🐴 are expensive Jimmy: what were it you said, tomorrow, babe Jimmy: giving someone a bell to install a pool or a balcony as I 🗨'd expensive an' all Janis: I've got patience to 🕞👀 Jimmy: good Jimmy: we're just that starcrossed, girl, nowt to be done about it Janis: or lots to do Janis: depending on your point of view Jimmy: lots of 🕞👀 'cause that's your #kink Janis: must be Jimmy: and mine's doing owt for you 💕 Janis: what more could I ask for Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: what more do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: ? Janis: ? Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You can surprise me Jimmy: alright Janis: is it? Jimmy: isn't it? Janis: alright, alright Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: it'll be good Janis: tomorrow Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: [picture to prove you are at mcvickers] Jimmy: [a picture back of Bobby and Twix snoozing all over you] Janis: looks cozy Jimmy: *uncomfortable Jimmy: speaking of, I'll bring you the 👑 back tomorrow, you can chuck it on instead of a cracker hat Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 there's no one sleeping in my bed Janis: 💡💡 Jimmy: 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: sounds like a party in theory Jimmy: 🔑's [wherever there is a key hidden] if you need to come back Janis: be even weirder for your poor brother if I got in his whilst you're all 🥳 Jimmy: not like he'll hear you come in Jimmy: you or the 🐻🐻🐻 Janis: don't tell him that as his next bedtime story Janis: should be good though, but cheers Jimmy: 👍 Janis: though it's tempting as it's the furthest you've wanted to let me walk in ages Jimmy: want's pushing it Jimmy: but I've seen your top 🦩 impression now Janis: I get it Janis: you wanna see it more Janis: well attractive Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: 🎪🤹🤡 you Jimmy: dead chuffed to see your trapeze next Janis: suppose freak can be a compliment Janis: in the right context Jimmy: [puts it in the right context for a pisstakey 🔥 sext] Janis: yeah Janis: like that Janis: 🥇 asshole Jimmy: 🥉 more like Janis: why's that Jimmy: a 🥇 dickhead ain't that easy to ✔ off as a dickhead Janis: you wanted 😳 Janis: it's not not happening but I don't need to admit it Jimmy: if I wanted 😳 I'd get it Jimmy: with no need for you to admit owt Janis: alright then Janis: take your 🥉 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: time for bed then, dickhead Jimmy: as a piss off goes, I've heard worse Janis: I've done better Janis: but it must be the sugar crash Jimmy: I can do better with compliments an' all Janis: so you say Jimmy: and 🖋 Janis: I'm not doubting your fake boyf ability Jimmy: that weren't what I said Janis: or your 🎨 Jimmy: weren't bringing that up either Janis: come on Jimmy: what? Janis: 🤯 Jimmy: I dunno what you're on about Janis: it's mutual Janis: don't worry Jimmy: you heard, I can do better, nowt to be 🤯 or do a 🥁 for Janis: You can't tell me what to do or not to do either way Jimmy: that ain't what I'm trying to do Janis: that's good then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I know you have a dog and a kid kicking you right now Janis: but you really need the beauty sleep Jimmy: rude Janis: you're ruder Jimmy: how am I? Janis: you're just Janis: I don't know Janis: but worse than me Janis: sure of that Jimmy: I were just trying to be less of a twat right then Janis: 😂 Janis: you just confuse me Janis: you aren't like 😡 🤬 rude right now Jimmy: it ain't my fault you can't take a compliment or apology attempt, dickhead Janis: I tried to take a compliment and you said it barely was one Janis: that's what I mean Janis: you're just weird and it's SO rude that you're letting Mia be right, tbh Jimmy: 'cause it weren't Jimmy: a pisstake's a pisstake, a compliment's a compliment Janis: then where have you tried to say sorry or anything not a pisstake Jimmy: what the fuck else does I can do better mean? Janis: Alright, God Janis: don't act like I'm thick Janis: you ain't speaking English Jimmy: bit racist Jimmy: this ain't even a voice memo Janis: yeah, you're well oppressed Jimmy: tah for recognising it, mate Janis: annoying, that's the word I was looking for Jimmy: funny'll do for you, oh hang on, nah Jimmy: meant to go the other way there Janis: yeah the sign of a proper jokes person is cracking yourself up Janis: 👌 babes Jimmy: piss off to bed, babes Janis: don't be jealous of all the space I've got Janis: gonna proper stretch out Jimmy: like I said, well unfunny you Janis: you can't escape when he's proper asleep? Jimmy: to where? Janis: your bed? Janis: his, if that is where you are Jimmy: his is a little kid bed, not stretching out in there Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 Janis: You poor thing Janis: bunk bed sharing would almost be preferable Jimmy: yeah Janis: at least your brother don't vape Jimmy: #ultimatesilverlining Janis: ☀ Jimmy: tah Jimmy: proper cheered now Janis: have only got a single here Janis: not living that luxurious Jimmy: and a 🐻 bear either side, you'll be fucked when the 3rd one comes through after having a piss Janis: better off taking my chances in the park? Janis: still time for that as well Jimmy: never nursed a dickhead with hypothermia before, decent way to pad out my CV Janis: 😒 Janis: yeah, go on Janis: just a neverending case study, me Jimmy: 🥇 muse in every way Janis: real or pisstake Jimmy: reckon I'd be able to 👀 you from here, could be a real inspiration Janis: you probably could anyway, nearly Janis: live pretty close but not giving any more away Janis: gotta keep the privacy and mystery, like Jimmy: brb gotta start a new 📷 IG Jimmy: @longlens Janis: 😂 Janis: if I've got a stalker I'm definitely 🥇 Janis: #madeit Jimmy: you do now Jimmy: 👋👀 Janis: get in Janis: mum'll be so proud Jimmy: got nowt else to do but crack on looking in windows til I find yours, mine'll chuffed to bits an' all Janis: Bill's 👻 will be Janis: unless you get distracted by some other random, then he'll be raging Jimmy: it's his script, I'd just be sticking to it Janis: that's going off script Janis: the other girl is before Janis: don't just get the wrong balcony and change your mind Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: it's Bill's 👻 not me Janis: he don't like improv Jimmy: harder to please than Lucas, him Janis: I'm doing alright 😇 Jimmy: he reckons your tits are 🥇 no accounting for taste Janis: nothing wrong with 🥈 Jimmy: when it's around your neck Janis: the view helps, yeah Janis: #toptits Jimmy: 😏 Janis: not your fault I'm exactly his type Janis: don't feel bad Jimmy: we can both wear the white 👰 but it don't make us exactly his type Jimmy: he'd be the one to call you a slag Janis: you have defiled me Janis: told you that's why he's so pissed off Jimmy: you gonna take an apology for that then? Janis: be a bit weird if you apologized Janis: was the plan Janis: just unfortunate collateral, him Jimmy: it weren't actually Janis: 'course it was Janis: nothing #goals about celibacy Jimmy: you know what I mean Janis: was just a joke Janis: I don't need an apology Jimmy: don't you? Janis: no Janis: why do you think I do? Jimmy: why have I got it in your own words loads of times that you reckon it shouldn't have happened if you don't? Janis: No, I only meant it like Janis: it's made things awkward now, is why we shouldn't have Janis: not in a, I didn't want to at the time way Janis: it's not like you did anything wrong Jimmy: and what, it weren't awkward for you before? Janis: What, like I've got loads of past experience with how to navigate a fake dating scenario? Jimmy: exactly my point Jimmy: it were weird as soon as I suggested it Janis: granted Janis: it's just weirder now you don't want to but we still have to fake shit Janis: if we'd not gone there, that wouldn't factor into the overall headfuckery Jimmy: I don't want to what? Janis: not fake it Janis: sometimes, like Jimmy: we've not talked about what I do or don't want Jimmy: so that's bollocks for a start Janis: it ain't Janis: I can read a room Jimmy: so can I, don't be putting it all on me like I fucked it Janis: I weren't but you clearly are so cheers for that Jimmy: you said me, I ain't speaking for you Janis: I haven't said you've fucked anything up Jimmy: I've made it weirder is what you said Janis: no, it IS weirder Janis: 'cos of decisions we both made Jimmy: that's a cop out Jimmy: I can also read between the lines and that's you reckoning the decisions you're making now are right and mine are bollocks Janis: all I'm trying to do is not be a massive twat here Janis: it's not right or wrong Janis: I can't help if I still wanna but I'm not gonna whinge about it like some nice guy or something as lame Jimmy: nicely done then Janis: fine Janis: fuck this Jimmy: I don't get what your problem is Janis: what do you mean? Janis: how do you not get that I'm accepting what you want and dealing with it and you're just taking the piss Jimmy: I've never said I want that Janis: What? Jimmy: when or where have I? Janis: that you don't want me to just do what I want and not give a fuck about what you do? Janis: it's just a given that I won't be a total cunt like that, surely Jimmy: you heard me, you don't know what I want Jimmy: dunno why it's a given that you'd just guess Janis: then tell me Janis: why am I guessing Jimmy: you've got some bollocks 💭 in your head that's nowt to do with me or what I've 🗨 Jimmy: that'll be why Janis: tell me Jimmy: It didn't feel like a mistake to me Janis: that's the opposite of what I thought you thought Janis: alright Jimmy: you were being a massive twat, keep up, we've done that bit Janis: no, great Janis: actually got to go bludgeon myself with a big rock now Jimmy: don't Jimmy: it's a job to talk to you when you ain't brain damaged Janis: I'm serious Janis: and I'm sorry Janis: jesus fucking christ Jimmy: me an' all, dunno if it's safe for you to go to this friendmas 'cause you obvs CAN'T read a room, sweetheart Jimmy: could be deadly serious, that Janis: I know I deserve it but please shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: why haven't you done anything about it then Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: if you can read a room, allegedly Janis: works both ways right Jimmy: you said it shouldn't have happened, how else would you like me to read into that? Jimmy: a mistake is what I heard Janis: I said that when you called me a slag Jimmy: but I didn't Jimmy: and what works both ways an' all is that you haven't done owt since then either Janis: yeah, because from my point of view, you called me easy, I made you apologize for it and then you ain't come near me since Janis: I'm not killing myself for no reason Janis: you've never said bullshit when you're fuming? Jimmy: I ain't the baby Jesus Jimmy: 'course I have Jimmy: and will do again, might be to you Janis: There you go then Janis: I said it was a mistake 'cos it sounded like you reckoned as much Janis: we may as well be on the same page Janis: didn't want to be that twat but that worked out well Jimmy: it just Jimmy: touched a nerve, alright Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: clearly so did the easy thing so not gonna judge Jimmy: our lives are headfucks, that's why we need this to make it easier Janis: that was meant to be the idea Janis: we just need to Janis: replan Janis: maybe? Jimmy: we just need to talk to each other Janis: easier said than done Janis: but yeah Janis: not wrong Jimmy: if I have to spell it out and stick my CAPS on, I can do Jimmy: I work in customer service, like Janis: that's lovely Janis: really wanna be compared to one of your customers Jimmy: hey, you know you're way too fit and mysterious Janis: barely at this point Janis: I've come across as a total fucking state Jimmy: Oi, we can do this ☀ girl Janis: I'm up for listening Janis: and I won't infer the rest, that much is a deal Jimmy: 🤝 Janis: 🩸🖋 Jimmy: We going to the park then or what? Janis: we don't have to speak when we get there, do we? Jimmy: bit rude you ain't gonna recite a sonnet to me, Jules, but I'll live Janis: maybe another night Janis: but I'm still pretty fucking mortified right now so you gotta promise Jimmy: we're doing alright if you're promising me another night Jimmy: and I'm clearly on fine form for giving you more accidental poetry so Janis: shame to waste it? Janis: I guess you can but don't expect me to because I'm better when I keep it shut Jimmy: you're Janis: don't finish that before I've had the chance to change your mind Jimmy: as promises go, I reckon I can keep that one Janis: and I can promise it'll be worth it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: before you stop saying owt to me Janis: I promise Janis: that you're gonna have even more to say about me and even less idea how to say it Jimmy: I Jimmy: there, you're managing to stop me going on already Janis: I don't mind when you go on Janis: just not what I want right now Jimmy: time and a place to be on script, I get it Janis: exactly Janis: and you've gotta be off the clock sometimes Jimmy: @ my manager in a bit Jimmy: just not right now Janis: not invited Jimmy: and you can't hop and @ Janis: don't challenge me Jimmy: nursing kink ain't gonna go away when your ankle stops being the size of your head Jimmy: gotta plan ahead Janis: you could just look after me Janis: I'll fake whatever injury you fancy Jimmy: how many oscars you after? Janis: 🥇 or nowt Jimmy: get a hop on then Janis: Am Janis: not trying to get caught mid-hop though so 🤫 Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: you could just tell me where you are and have a hand, I ain't allowed to be the one who 💀💀💀 you Janis: I could Janis: was mainly arsed about getting caught in the gaff but still Janis: be quicker Janis: [location] Jimmy: if I get there and there ain't no nan or granddad I'll chuck you the log ins for the stalker account Janis: like I've made 'em up Janis: and I've broke into a house just to be close-by? Janis: I don't reckon I'm that dedicated Jimmy: dunno about that, all I know is I could spit and you'd be hopping on a wet foot Janis: 🤤 would've been more romantic, Romeo Jimmy: Oi, I deliberately didn't say piss to be more romantic Janis: erm, talk to me!!! 😤😤😤 Janis: #ultimatekinkunlocked Jimmy: alright fine, I'll piss on the side of the house you're squatting in, stop begging Janis: 😂 Janis: good luck Janis: it's freezing Jimmy: sounds like some weird ⛄ challenge, I'd better film it for Tammy's tiktok Janis: SO thoughtful, babe Janis: just giving her that clout for free Jimmy: just that kind of dickhead, me Janis: I'll @ you in my glowing review later Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [show up boy it's really not far] Jimmy: which window am I climbing up to with a 🌹 in my 🦷🦷 Janis: you mean, which bit of pavement am I gonna be scraping you off of when you slip to your 💀💀💀 Jimmy: challenge accepted Jimmy: your nan'll love the 💕 if you don't bother directing me Janis: I'll remember to pick up your 🦷🦷 and all Janis: [but flashing the light of the room you in like sup] Jimmy: wrap 'em up for Asia and it's job done on winning them all over Jimmy: [get your bae Jimothy] Janis: 💕🎁 Jimmy: [please don't actually die lol] Janis: [at least there is a genuine ladder up lmao, just don't wake the child or mcvickers] Jimmy: [now isn't the time for you to recite shakespeare, another time nerd] Janis: [you gotta be quiet, which is why we're not staying 'cos we know the vibe] Jimmy: [likewise why we're not going to his house either even though it's cold af] Janis: [soz about it but not, you're young and you'll be warm af soon enough] Jimmy: [gotta do what you gotta do lads and the park has those good mems and the graffiti you did so] Janis: [enjoy ladies] Jimmy: [until you have to go to work live your best life] Janis: [at least you have reconciled to totally boss this friendmas] Jimmy: [soz I ruined the tension but it would've been hard to concentrate on ruining Mia's life with that hanging over you] Janis: [we go with the flow honey] Jimmy: [we can totally skip to friendmas if you want unless you wanna have a CG work moment] Janis: [like you could but you probably shouldn't sleep out here again all night so yes, we could do a little CG moment] Jimmy: [gotta go there for the first time at some point, get that off menu smoothie and some food that's actually vaguely edible] Janis: [have cute moments, even though we know none of the flatwhites will be there] Jimmy: [we can post them to annoy Mia before we even get there because we all know Pablo isn't coming] Janis: [try one of calebs other kids hen, might be easier to use] Jimmy: [teach the bae how to do festive latte art they'll be jealous af and the manager is never there either] Janis: [do have some funny latte art pics, along with whatever we invariably actually bring yous] Jimmy: [#fated] Janis: [I kinda want you to go out and get them something pisstakey but I really cannot think what] Jimmy: [it would be funny, hmm what could we do?] Janis: [some kind of game/drinking game/or forbidden food vibe, actual fun Mia would not be happy about is the point] Jimmy: [things should totally get said during these games that they have for more blackmail potential to add to her cheating on the school trip] Jimmy: [I'm just debating whether Asia should have a bf who comes like we did at that sleepover that time or if we wanna save that for another time] Janis: [spill that tea ladies, we all know it don't take much for you to turn on each other so] Janis: [and I vote no, I think, plenty of opportunities to do that later though] Jimmy: [fair, Mia probably is hoping Asia'll seduce Jimothy so can't have a bf in the way] Janis: [and it's just BFF goals vibes, like you aren't allowed boys because they aren't important, soz Asia you hoe] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [can't let lads know how weird you all are] Jimmy: [the scolding tea] Janis: [pretending to be normal is for real xmas with your fams hens] Jimmy: [I don't need to be thinking about you gals at christmas thanks] Janis: [teenage xmas is the worst tbh] Jimmy: [agreed] Jimmy: [do you think there's any decorations they could steal out of the CG or are they too hipstery?] Janis: [I think we could probably get decent indoor ones from there, steal a lil tree moment] Jimmy: [do it while the flatwhites aren't there because Mia and Ella are snitches and he don't need to get fired this close to christmas] Janis: [do it at the start of your shift and hide it, who's noticing this close to xmas, no hoe except them so stay away] Jimmy: [we need this christmas cheer excuse us] Janis: [kids would do it anyway or they'd get broke, get a life gals] Jimmy: [we're trying to save christmas for Bobby here so bye] Janis: [it'll be magical and we're stealing your lights bitch bye] Jimmy: [Ella doesn't need them, not sorry] Janis: [also, not related but meet Pete too] Jimmy: [not in a way that makes him 😒 and jealous though we've only just reconciled] Janis: [my boo says give me my fluff] Jimmy: [defs gonna draw JJ and Twix tangled up in christmas lights for today's doodle once they've decorated so there's my fluff] Janis: [that's cute af get it boy] Janis: [we can go through lowkey and then stop whenever we wanna fully do something, so, should we be one of the first to get there or last what's the vibe] Jimmy: [I think first like it's just Mia and obvs Ella cos it's her house LOL there because they'd hate that and I said Grace was late, it makes sense Hollie would be too because she's even more done with them] Janis: [that's a mood, oh gals, how welcome are you gonna make them feel] Jimmy: [can't even do the gift exchange until everyone gets here, how awkward, good thing Jimothy will shamelessly request a house tour] Janis: [the casual side-eye you're gonna have to hold in, like lemme pretend to be so uninterested in your house which is undeniably big without coming off as salty] Jimmy: [he'll carry you through this gaff gal, nothing will annoy Ella and Mia more than when you're more into each other and being coupley af than the rich gal flexes in every room] Janis: [at least we can play up how bad the ankle is again, get me ice ho] Jimmy: [Ella never did get any sympathy she'll be fuming, play up that nursing conveniently like when you get to Ella's room like oops gotta just rest here for a bit soz] Janis: [just regaling how much he's looked after you like that bitch] Jimmy: [as he fusses over you, god bless, we're literally gonna do all we can to make Mia storm out and back downstairs haha] Janis: [ergo asking where Pablo is, like oh, thought he'd be here] Jimmy: [Jimothy is so amused he's gonna hide his face in the bae] Janis: [just lowkey ignoring her to be subtly all over him when she rants about the importance of gal time or whatever like mhmm interesting] Jimmy: [literally why wasn't he banned if that's true hun, hence he'll be even more unsubtly all over her until we're genuinely ignoring the gals] Janis: [we all know it's one rule for you and another for them but that didn't pan out lololol, awkward when you'd wanna watch for an uncomfortable amount of time Mia, make Asia show please so you can't] Jimmy: [go answer the door to her so they can have a moment but also snoop through Ella's shit thank you] Janis: [just like where it the shrine honey] Jimmy: [shame it's so far in the future that she wouldn't have a paper diary for them to find, unless like they used to have those kid ones and Ella kept hers because the golden age of this friendship obvs] Janis: [imagine how 1. gay it'd be 2. all the goss on them all, have a read of that lads] Jimmy: [take 📷 because you'll never know when you might need them] Janis: [get that relevant tea 'was her sister the donkey?' 'cos Asia is here and we remembering] Jimmy: [a little lol as we forlornly shake our head because she sadly was not and they missed a trick 'Mary' because why not 'makes sense why Joseph was having none of her' just calling a child ugly here nbd] Janis: [makes a face like she's so appalled like oh no 'your brother's year must be a real bunch of uggos' 'cos we're on the same wavelength here] Jimmy: ['not saying the director's onto something but as top casting for a homeless virgin who looks like she's had her head shut in a door goes..' trailing off with a shrug like we haven't just dragged a little girl to within an inch of her life] Janis: [violently shushing him as they come up, as if Asia would ever clock it, god bless, but then it just looks like you've got an amazing in joke 'cos it's like omg babe] Jimmy: [love that cos we've gotta actually be nice to Asia as she's the first person here you can actually get on your side, so use your barista charm boy] Janis: [compliment her jumper or something girl, can't let him do everything Jimmy: [and take some selfies with her that you can easily but subtly exclude the other 2 from cos 3's already a crowd huns] Janis: [love that, and Asia should have a boyf that she wanna talk about 'cos then you can actually let her gal and she'll be buzzing] Jimmy: [yassssss encourage her in all the ways those 2 don't and won't ever] Janis: [at least you can pretend you're throwing 😍 at him when really it's pained looks lmao] Jimmy: [and we can talk about the nativity and younger sibling christmas bs because those 2 bitchy only children could never] Janis: [mhmm, hopefully you love your sisters more than just accessories gal] Jimmy: [there's no way to know but JJ are slaying this so well done lads] Janis: [honestly need some kind of award 'cos it can't be overstated how hard Mia & Ella would be trying to bitch you both out] Jimmy: [hence I'm like is there anything else you can do while it's just shameless stealing Asia tactics before the others get here because we know it's not hard to get those two on side] Janis: [Hmm, what's a stupid bitch want what's a stupid bitch need] Janis: [you'll want your latte before they go cold tbf] Jimmy: [I hope he's brought like some christmas ugly jumper biscuits from the CG because getting her hyped up on sugar will only make her more annoying] Janis: [she's basically a child, just let her live in the ways they don't tbh and she'll be thrilled] Jimmy: [literally talking to her about what she wants for christmas like she is a child LOL] Janis: [try not to cackle, but we are 1000% getting on his lap to make a sneaky point like easy 🎅} Jimmy: [never have to fake how into that we are and it's a great segue to tell her all the #goals shit we've been up to and all the festive coupley plans we have] Janis: [when you truly have like it sounds like so much, y'all will be jealous] Jimmy: [as if you aren't fuming enough by how touchy feely and loved up they are before they've even said a word] Janis: [trying to separate them but also don't want their help with anything, we see you] Jimmy: [at least when JJ have had enough they can go 🚬 and on a christmas lights scouting mission because it's #goals to go have a wander and look at lights and it gets dark early af so you can] Janis: [that is goals, don't lie, you probably need to get through dinner first my loves, just be overly helpful with the food prep so you can lowkey fuck it up and they'll be raging] Jimmy: [Grace will be buzzing when she gets there cos not only is Pablo not but she's the only one who has gifts for jj out of these gals] Janis: [thank god he ain't there, we would simply throw hands lmao, lord knows shit nan and the extra ex will be making an appearance soon] Jimmy: [Grace would have straight up walked in and straight back out again if he was and you know it Mia so good luck chatting shit about friendship then] Janis: [get to getting this starter everyone try not to actively vom at the table] Jimmy: [at least that would taste nice cos it's literally brie and cranberry and walnuts and honey so you're welcome everyone] Janis: [looking at y'all 💀💀 why do I feel like JJ need to go to the toilets immediately after like you two cannot, the shade of it all] Jimmy: [LOVE that] Janis: [sure you have more than 2 but we know what's being said huns] Jimmy: [the point has been made] Janis: 😈💩🤮❌ Jimmy: 🎻😭💔 Janis: oh no, is this the group chat? Janis: sorry Jimmy: *😱😱😱 Jimmy: if it were Janis: 😱😱😱😱😱 of 'em Jimmy: soz, you're dead right, babe Janis: though I don't think the big one is doing it right Janis: awks Jimmy: she'll be getting her bollocking now Janis: poor cow Janis: if I were to cast her in a nativity Janis: but I'm just seeing what meds they've got Jimmy: @Helena Janis: ugh, I wish Janis: what back problems is this flat-chested 💀 gonna have Jimmy: you're alright though, yeah? Janis: of course I am Janis: just potential dirt Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you alright? Jimmy: nowt wrong with my 🦶 Jimmy: might end up with back problems of my own if you ain't 💩🤮 in there but Helena'll sort it Janis: fuck off Janis: negging me, dickhead Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted there weren't no 🦒 at the birth of Jesus Jimmy: no need to take it out on me Janis: only elves in the christmas story, so you're no better off Jimmy: your 👂 kink is blatant, Jennifer Janis: psh Jimmy: not gonna stick that 💎 you owe me in mine if that's the best comeback you've got Janis: you're very annoying, I'm pretending to 💩🤮 Jimmy: no 👂's pressed against the door, putting you off? Janis: you tell me Janis: can I perform without an audience? Jimmy: we've not done 💩🤮 Janis: #kinkstillonlock Jimmy: [another pisstakey 🥺 selfie because gotta kill time in this bathroom somehow] Janis: do you reckon that's 💀#2 thing? Janis: 💀👑 is obviously killing people slowly Jimmy: bit weird you having that in common Janis: oh no Janis: have to speed it up Jimmy: ready when you are Janis: come here? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [have a little makeout moment because we're swagging this and deserve it Jimmy: [pick her up and sit her on the sink so she doesn't have to stand up and because it's a #mood] Janis: [so shook that we gasping but in a good way, like] Jimmy: [you can have a noise back gal because we're into it] Janis: [IRL 🥺 'cos we have to go back, even if we're purposefully taking ages here] Jimmy: [just doing the MOST to make her forget that we have to go back because we don't want to either] Janis: [at least there's a perfect excuse to be loud and extra so you can go 'til you get caught and someone is like excuse me get out lol] Jimmy: [the joys] Janis: [will definitely be Ella or Asia] Jimmy: [we know Mia sent you whichever one it is, probably Ella cos it's her house so she can be that bitch] Janis: [I mean, at least we didn't break your sink hun] Jimmy: [or fuck in your bed which we easily could have] Janis: [nights still young but yeah count your blessings xoxo anyway, the main meal, we probably know the vibe?] Jimmy: [you know Mia and Ella were in charge of that bit cos clearly giving Hollie pudding to call her a fat bitch and not trusting Asia with basically anything so it's not gonna be 🥇] Janis: [it's gonna be so bland with like low-fat everything and ew] Jimmy: [gonna have to start a cute little flirty food fight moment like Tony and Effy had, skins we see you and your incesty energy, when they made those faces then that spoon got flicked etc, so you don't have to eat this] Janis: [their energy was so strange lol, like they did go out so it probably didn't help but we see you, also doing a fake like you're going to eat it and you're trying to be polite but it's so gross soz we cannot] Jimmy: [everyone be pushing that food hardcore around their plates,, can't even do a feeding each other romantic moment because it's too grim] Janis: [like ladies, you can't binge and go to town for one day, not when the others can see, we get it] Jimmy: [save the day with whatever pudding you've brought Hollie thank you] Janis: [bitches be ravenous, at least we eat at the CG] Jimmy: [jimothy got your back gal, can and will eat again when you're decorating too so] Janis: [and it's time for presents] Jimmy: [I literally can't stress enough how happy and shook he's gonna be because feelsy gifts are not a thing in his life rn it's all on Bobby to make a cute card or whatever so his thank you hug will be very genuine and emosh and he'll write 'you're' on her back for that throwback because we are speechless and a ! for emphasis] Janis: [when you're lowkey thinking he's faking most of that at least but then he writes on you so you know it's real so then you're smiley af, enjoy that guys, you can't even shade 'cos it's personal and shit he wants and what do any of y'all know about that, and writing 'you' back] Jimmy: [the gals can't be shading anyway because they'll too busy DYING when he puts this necklace on her because it's intimate af, gotta gently move that hair out of the way, kiss the back of her neck in a soft way, the whole 9] Janis: [just fully ignoring them all and it ain't even fake, gotta be SO grateful excuse us] Jimmy: [we're in the moment and our feelings bitches] Janis: ['I can't even deal with you' talking more like them but where is the lie] Jimmy: [we gotta just kiss her because 1. what are words even fake words 2. you know exactly how to deal with me cos we're 🥇] Janis: [just ignore the 😒😒😒😒😒 you're getting for AGES then be like oh, please, open your presents] Jimmy: [just being couple goals casually in the background while the gals pretend to care about each other's gifts] Janis: [I live] Jimmy: [highlight of the day tbh] Janis: [you know they wrapping up and putting that shite film on so fast honey, like oh yeah, give them an excuse to cuddle under a blanket] Jimmy: [literally Mia is this close to kicking all of y'all out and it ain't even her house] Janis: [it's so funny how easy it is to piss y'all off, do have to remember to keep the rest vaguely on side though] Jimmy: [you've done well lads and we all know none of the gals actually wanna watch this film they probably do the same one every year, just on their phones super bored] Janis: [you gotta lowkey suggest you play a game instead like come on this is BOOOOOOOORING] Jimmy: [he's a boy he's allowed to hate rom coms so it's easily done] Janis: [you two 💀 can protest but clearly we're over it so you outnumbered even if Asia was like I don't mind or whatever] Jimmy: [get that tea, especially if it's a drinking game because they are all lightweights] Janis: [we know this could get passive-aggressive fast lol] Jimmy: [it will blatantly which is how we can bring this friendmas to an end without it looking like JJ's fault] Janis: [hohaha just like this is awkward gals] Jimmy: [run away and look at aka steal some lights lads, your work here is done] Janis: [you can go decorate his now and make the kids day] Jimmy: [though we might have to kill some time and do it when they're asleep because I doubt we were at Ella's that late] Janis: [true hen, we know we killed this party before tea time honestly lol] Jimmy: [walk some dogs together first of all] Janis: [get that cash babies] Jimmy: [they should come back and eat some actually nice christmassy snacks and watch a christmas film that doesn't suck and play a game with Bobby that doesn't end in murder like this is how easy it is to do better than you gals] Janis: [yes, 'cos 1. real 2. all they'd have to do was a couple of pics and everyone would know the flatwhites was a flop] Jimmy: [exactly and she hasn't met Bobby yet so I thought that'd be a nice chill way to do it cos not trying to make it a thing™] Janis: [yes, this is true, rip to not seeing your marvellous sheep performance hen] Jimmy: [and he can talk about wanting to see Santa to put that idea in jj's heads] Janis: [easy] Janis: Oi Janis: use your elf connections Jimmy: 🎅 or nowt, me Jimmy: [takes off that ugly christmas jumper in a pisstakey way like I've got the body for it] Janis: [😏 and pats his tummy like yeah] Jimmy: [fakes like he's gonna put a cushion up his top but then chucks it at her head] Janis: [whispers the obscenities behind Bobby's head] Jimmy: [signs something at her which is obvs 6 year old level insults to make Bobby lol and join in] Janis: [just getting dragged, fake cry so Twix comes to support you gal] Jimmy: [we'll teach you gal it's always useful] Janis: [love that] Jimmy: [at least if Cass comes back we can bribe her into walking some dogs for us because don't need the 😒 when we've just escaped the flatwhites] Janis: [at least you'll get some spends gal, because that age you can't even get your own job so it's pocket money purely] Jimmy: [win her over as well lads nicely done] Jimmy: 🏆🥇💪 us Janis: I'll be waiting for my card, like Jimmy: 🐾 an' all Janis: awh Janis: you don't need to sign it Janis: got the doodles Jimmy: subtle Jimmy: I ain't forgot I owe you one Janis: 🕥 Janis: gonna be THAT bitch 🙄 Jimmy: nowt more #goals than nagging a lad to 💀💀💀 babes Janis: except that friendmas, AM I RIGHT Jimmy: [IRL LOL because] Janis: [😏] Janis: kinda sad how easy that was Jimmy: [a shrug because we see them all the damn time at the CG we knew how easy it'd be] Jimmy: alright, I'll give you a challenge, girl, stop begging Janis: just saying Janis: BFFs it ain't Jimmy: and you'd never know from the group chat Janis: yeah Janis: the performance they put on would be almost impressive if it weren't tragic 'cos no one cares Jimmy: [chucks her some gingerbread house kit like there's your challenge babe because they always suck and never stick together and taste gross 'make that look goals and you'll impress me']] Janis: [obviously we're gonna do it 'cos can't turn a challenge, also roping Bobby into helping by letting him eat some of the sweets which are the only nice part of tbh, just LOOKing at him like 'why would I need to do that?' like is it don't care to or is it already have, we know] Janis: *down Jimmy: [Twix not helping but getting involved god bless her, we're giving her a LOOK back because always will hen 'might just be worth it' cos remember when she made that promise before they went to the park last night, he does] Janis: [God loves a trier Twix, lowkey feeding one of the gingerbread people to her and doing mini screams of terror as it gets its head chomped off lol, then having to hide our 😳s 'cos of course it will be and of course we do] Jimmy: [just watching this and falling in love nbd] Janis: [when you've inadvertently done them a solid there 'cos there's usually a mummy and a daddy and then 2 kids so like, fuck you Ian we're just making Jimmy and Cass and Bobby and there's no awkwardness over missing mum] Jimmy: [I didn't even think of that goodbye] Janis: [like thank you girl for swerving that lmao, also putting the shades on him and holding it up like eh, eh?!] Janis: likeness is uncanny Jimmy: Oi, where's my 🚬? Janis: there's nothing festive about throat cancer Jimmy: Dickens 👻'd disagree Jimmy: he's 💔 it got cut in the edit Janis: there's still time for your manager to show up with a goose Janis: and if you get me some crutches, you won't have to do so much heavy lifting Jimmy: more of a 🐷 you but we'll crack on regardless Janis: you're so rude Janis: if I WAS Miss Piggy, I'd kick you down right now Jimmy: one good trotter an' all 💕 Janis: it's important I keep you under it Janis: Kermit is the ultimate cuck Jimmy: #ultimategoals Jimmy: 💀👑 can't even get a text back Janis: she's the rat Jimmy: keep it between us 💀#2 is gonna be gutted they ain't ⛓ together Janis: for all eternity Janis: being judgy af Jimmy: her only kink unlocked Janis: there's fuck all 🧠 or 💪 energy left to have any other passion Janis: it's 💀👑 and nothing else and that's the way they 💕 it Jimmy: [sends her his fave gayest pages of the diary like LOL cos they only had time to skim read at the time] Janis: [trying not to actually lol out loud 'cos still doing this house and watching this film] Janis: imagine 💬 that and not faking it Jimmy: [nudges her because we wanna hear that lol soz if we knock you when you're building] Jimmy: imagine 💭 that BEFORE you were 🧠 dead Janis: [a face like HOW DARE, don't sabotage me, boy but we grinning] Janis: maybe she was WELL lovely before my sister started hanging about Janis: she will do that to you, like Jimmy: [😘 like ILY babe I would NEVER] Jimmy: Puberty'll do that when you wanna fuck your daddy an' all Jimmy: not to snatch away your 🏆 or owt, Gracie Janis: [dangling gingerbread him over her tea like I'll do it, bitch, try me] Janis: she's used to it Janis: 🏅 participation Jimmy: [a look like do it because death wish 5ever] Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: [acting like we really considering it, before putting him back and getting to work on a frosting Twix 'cos tah for being the right colour and texture lowkey lol] Janis: death march more appropriate after today Jimmy: kill bill siren sound Janis: love to take a samurai sword to 'em ' Janis: 💔 my christmas ruined Jimmy: more 🏆 than them tiktoks with the 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 Janis: but not more 🏆 than this gaff Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: yeah, reserve your judgment 'til I'm finished Jimmy: til we're finished, dickhead Janis: I will have to do the high ones though Jimmy: [another playful nudge like piss off and the gingerbread house wall will be falling] Janis: [lowkey pissed off haha not majorly but attacking him with this frosting like STAPH] Jimmy: [playfight because always] Janis: [being like, Bobby, please protect the castle, I'mma fight off this monster real quick] Jimmy: [that sweet boy gonna take his job so seriously god bless] Janis: [as are we you're going down jimothy] Jimmy: [until we use distracting tactics like picking up the pendant part of that necklace like oh hey remember this and how much you love me] Janis: [looking at Bobby like you have to play fair when there's other people about] Jimmy: [draws a 🏆 on whatever bare skin there is, obvs taking our time to be flirty af cos we're always playing to win honey] Janis: [at least you don't have to worry about calling him a dickhead right now 'cos we must lest we say anything else] Jimmy: [likewise can say 'you' back and not worry about how his voice shamelessly sounds, ah deaf brother perks] Janis: [write 'later' on him 'cos we can promise that] Jimmy: [just as well because Cass can't be out walking dogs forever and she will charge in all snowy and cold like make me a cuppa bitch and obvs Jimothy will] Janis: [and she would not be happy at this scene because grumpy tween life, so focus you two] Janis: you know how I like it Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [jimothy just shouting through like a fussy dad @ Cass like if you want a warm shower or bath go after this cos I'mma be starting Bobby's bedtime routine soon] Janis: [probs not at all mortified you did that in front of Janis, nice one boy] Jimmy: [she hates him so much during this time period I lol Janis: [poor boy, you're doing you're best, we all are] Janis: [at least you can clear away this gingerbread carnage] Jimmy: [join him in the kitchen gal but not in the flirty way he hoped would be happening a bit ago] Janis: [just subtly helping without being asked always, love that for yous] Jimmy: [she's so caring in a way that he is not used to at all, it kills me] Janis: [just coming up behind him in a fake-out trying to scare you but not actually way 'you want me to clear out of here for a bit?' like, come back later when they're asleep vibes] Jimmy: [just saying no before he can stop himself and then it's like well now I wanna die] Janis: [just nodding like okay, 'cos not gonna make a big deal even though that was obviously a speedy reply] Jimmy: [doing his own nod towards the window like the weather is the reason we don't want her to go even though we know now how close mcvickers gaff is and that she'd be fine] Janis: ['I'm fine with staying cosy' and takes half the teas in] Jimmy: [shit like this is why we're falling in love with you gal] Janis: [like we are gonna feel slightly awkward whilst he's sorting his siblings but we know the drill from our own back in the day so we can deal] Jimmy: [we'll be sending Cass upstairs for her long bath like my boo used to have because being a tween is the worst okay, good thing Ian isn't here for how long she'll be in there and the music blasting but we're gonna be stuck with Bobert for a while cos he won't wanna go to bed] Janis: [when you partying, live your dreams babe, can't fight you, put on a slightly more chill xmas movie maybe, like idk, polar express or something, he'll fall asleep eventually] Jimmy: [Twix and Bobby falling asleep between you on this sofa like an adorable cockblock] Janis: [just looking over at him like, mission accomplished] Jimmy: [taking them upstairs to bed when it's safe to without waking them, the bae can take a snoozy Twix for you, nodding at Bobby's bed like told you I wouldn't be able to stretch out on that] Janis: [mimes measuring the bed and him like hmm, idk] Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the room] Janis: [at least you can take your chance to push him back and have a kiss in this corridor] Jimmy: [glad Cass' music will cover up how loud Jimothy is because of how badly he's wanted to kiss her for what would feel like an age] Janis: [you'll be so glad you didn't hear that, gal, well done, just like 'some santa' though 'cos where is your sneakiness] Jimmy: [looking at the necklace and back to her like excuse you I'm a great santa] Janis: [looking down and then touching it 'it's not totally shit, actually' obvs we were 😍 earlier but that was in front of the gals] Jimmy: [a shrug like it's all so casual and we don't give a fuck either 'did the job' because obvs it was all about impressing the gals and not her] Janis: ['glad I don't have to bin it' 'cos we actually like it and it's not basic just because we had to do a #goals gift moment] Jimmy: ['weren't where I got it out of' because we clearly did buy this there's no way you could've stolen it feasibly as it's jewellery] Janis: [raising a brow, 'you don't want it back, do you?' like are you saying it's too expensive or something] Jimmy: [shakes his head 'my tits'll never pass for yours' like I can't take #goals pics for the gram pretending I'm you so there's no point] Janis: [turns like good, 'cos I'm not giving it back, good day] Jimmy: [go put these decorations up and Jimothy will play the I saw mummy kissing Santa song to make the point like he ain't sneaky either so] Janis: ['that's because it's the dad, not the real santa, dickhead' like get ur facts straight hun] Jimmy: ['never said I were the real santa, Janet' like I'm just good at it like I am at everything thank you] Janis: [mime a 💔 and also a 🤫 'you are tonight'] Jimmy: ['sounds like I'll be going to see him in a bit' cos Bobby wants to, an unimpressed face like lucky me 'don't reckon he'll be fuming about the roleplay though, we're alright'] Janis: [😍 like LUCKY YOU 'there's one in [a place I've not looked up but I'm sure exists lol] that's meant to be pretty good'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out and has a look before giving her an IRL 👍 like a nerd because it looks decent enough] Janis: [bows like ya welcome] Jimmy: ['you coming?' cos she didn't do the nativity and the reason that would've looked #goals is the same here] Janis: [is thinking 'can I bring someone?'] Jimmy: [is a bit like whomst but nods because yeah obvs you can] Janis: ['alright then' like not gonna elaborate lol ok] Jimmy: [says it back and we're cracking on with these decorations] Janis: [get it gals, make it look magical] Jimmy: [at least his house isn't huge so it won't take you forever] Janis: [though it is a house so don't die doing an outside moment, make it work, like] Jimmy: [#teamwork but do take a break when you are outside to piss about with the snow even though there isn't loads you can still chuck it at each other and then get each other with your cold hands] Janis: [no more park for you gals, looking in the general direction of thinking as much] Jimmy: [looking where she's looking and thinking the same things, it was nice while it lasted lads, when he REALLY wants to tell her to stay here but we already embarrassed ourselves in the kitchen being like DON'T GO so we can't say anything] Janis: [at least this will keep you busy for a while, before you have no obvious reason to stay] Jimmy: [could feasibly take hours because it takes ages just to do a tree sometimes] Janis: [mhmm honey bunny, this is still gonna be awks though, at least you can say that you wanna bring your niece and work out those logistics like are we going tomorrow orrr 'cos not long now sweaty] Jimmy: [we probably are realistically, ew I hate to imagine how busy it would be] Janis: [my boo say disgusting lmao, at least you can make this goodbye more natural now like gotta get up for that hens, just being like, hope Bobby loves the decs 'cos we do] Jimmy: [gotta be in the morning so he can work in the afternoon because busy time and we need that cash honey, the greatest and best hug goodbye because it's been such a feelsy day] Janis: [trying not to linger and failing lowkey, we see y'all] Jimmy: [will offer to walk you home as if you haven't just been putting decs up with that ankle, we know you just are trying to keep this going] Janis: [do we reckon it's too late for public transport, like you don't wanna go home and you are just gonna come back tomorrow, soz mcvickers showing up again] Jimmy: [mcvickers are used to it and she needs Libi early that's our excuse] Janis: [let him walk you back then gal] Jimmy: [🚬 break during this walk back because there wouldn't have been enough of those today] Janis: [chance to breathe hens, you been busy, ruining lives, making days] Jimmy: [let it hit you boy how close christmas actually is] Janis: [we're all shook, like your mother must be hitting you up gal, what's the tea this year] Jimmy: [gonna ask her if she wants to go for breakfast tomorrow before this santa appointment because he wants Bobby to have a nice time, like we know we have to work a lot soz little man] Janis: ['as long as you aren't suggesting going in to work early' like you love your job SO much babe but obvs, we are down] Jimmy: [such an unamused noise and face because I can only imagine the hell that the CG is on the daily never mind at festive times] Janis: [😏 'cos we've literally been in ONCE at this point and we're like yeah, I know, y'all can go somewhere decent] Jimmy: [somewhere these bubs will love and think is so swag but you won't hate every second of] Jimmy: [when you wanna be like THANKS for today post friendmas but it's awkward so you just pull her back a little bit and then you're just there like -] Janis: [Dublin looks like there's loads of cool places in general so I have faith, doing the signature ?] Jimmy: [just looking at her like if you could read my mind rn that would be great] Janis: [so rude you cannot tbh, just pushing him gently like what though, like don't freak me out] Jimmy: ['tah for-' gestures back in the direction of his house 'our kid'll be chuffed to bits when he has a look'] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'won't pass it on to #2' 'cos lots of those decs were hers but fuck you gal 'take a pic if he looks cute' 'cos we blatantly wanna see his reaction but not gonna outright say that so we just pretending it could be #goals content] Jimmy: ['should work in a grotto or some bollocks next year, you' not even a pisstake because she's great with kids and swagged that but we'll pretend we are, nods and mimes that he'll record his 😱 reaction, again we probably will but we can pretend we're taking the piss out of Grace's vlogmas vibes] Janis: ['you're the elf' and a face like lord no, do your own 👍 and go inside bitch] Jimmy: ['yeah and I'll have a word' heart hands like love you gal] Janis: [blow a kiss like you're buzzing at the prospect] Jimmy: [catch it as you watch her go boy]

1 note · View note

softlimefluff · 4 years

Text

AriHan Wedding Fic

It’s finally here!!!! I’ve had such a wonderful time creating this story with the lovely and talented @dongiovannaswife!!! Helena was actually the one who first suggested the collaboration, and I’m so so glad she did (ily Lenaaaaa)!

First, a few bonuses to start:

Wedding Moodboard

AriHan Wedding playlist:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7G5Ti5DenHGqldU01UE234?si=xDroE-7eToWg0_Z9QPBoqQ

***

“So you’re getting married?! Mamma mia! Congratulazioni!”

Tonio’s excited voice echoes through the restaurant, some customers turning their heads to look at the owner and the couple. While Rohan was smiling, looking uncomfortable with the glances, Ari was trying not to blush.

Tonio smiles warmly at the customers, reassuring them with an apologetic smile.

“Mi dispiace.”

Once the attention is no longer in them, Tonio turns to them, a warm smile present on his face.

“So, how can I help you?”

“That’ll be how can we help you.”

The voice of a man, a well-known voice surprises the couple. Turning around, the couple arriving at the restaurant irradiates power and elegance, surprising the soon to be married couple. Dressed in matching outfits of leather and casual vibes, Giorno Giovanna and Helena, Giovanna by him, stood meters from them. Both smiling, holding hands as if their presence in Morioh is nothing. As if the flight didn’t affect them.

“And? Will you welcome us or stare like we are ghosts?”

Helena asks, earning a smirk from her husband, who still looks around cautiously.

“Welcome, welcome, Mr. and Mrs. Giovanna! How are you? Did the flight go well?” Tonio rushes to them, a friendly glint in his eyes; greeting the couple as if they were friends from years.

Rohan and Ariel sit there in stunned silence, processing that Gio and Lena were actually here. In Morioh. With mouths open, they look on, watching as Tonio talks excitedly to Giorno in Italian and Helena leans back, arms crossed with another little smirk up at her husband. Standing to her feet, Ari pushes her chair back and rushes over to Lena with open arms, squealing a little.

“YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE COMING!!!!”

The two embrace fondly, laughing a little as they pull away and adjust their outfits.

“We wanted to surprise you~ Better that way, sì?”

A quick, enthusiastic nod from Ari, and the joining of another presence by them--Rohan. He waits as Tonio and Giorno finish their conversation, eager to finally meet the man with whom he had become such good friends. When Gio finally looks over, Rohan bows quickly, a sign of honor and respect towards the Don. Reciprocating the action, Giorno also offers a hand out, pulling Rohan into a slightly awkward but warm hug when he shakes. Lena and Ari are arm-in-arm nearby, admiring their husbands (and soon to be). It’s not every day that the Giovanna’s are in town.~

"I'm glad to see you again, Rohan."

Giorno says, smiling at the mangaka, who nods and answers back with a smile of his own.

"I'm glad to see you too, Giorno. How was the flight?"

Giorno speaks while guiding his wife to a table Tonio pointed out, following the couples to get their orders.

"Perfect," he says, pulling the chair out and offering a hand to help his wife sit, something he's used to doing now.

"We are wishing for some sleep, but Lena wanted to see you two before that. So here we are... I certainly wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee."

Lena smiles, getting Giorno's chair close to hers.

Rohan pulls the chair out for Ari, and imitating Giorno, he offers his hand for her. Even if it's something he does too, it feels like he needs to prove to himself that he truly is worthy of her. Sitting at her side and circling her shoulders with his arm, Rohan looks to Tonio, who's nearby, waiting for them to settle down.

Giorno sits beside his wife, with her leaning against his chest, playing with the ring around his finger and tracing by memory the tattoo of his finger.

"Can I bring you something?"

Tonio asks, pen and notebook in hand, a gentle smile on his face.

Leaning his head down, Giorno asks to his wife.

"Ti piacerebbe un caffè?"

Lena smiles, nodding and muttering back. "Sì."

"Can we have two cups of caffè ristretto?

Tonio nods, winking playfully.

"Of course, Mr. Giovanna!"

Rohan nods after Ari asks for something in a whisper, smiling softly.

"We'll have the same, please."

Ari and Lena smile at each other as if they were planning something, though maybe it was just a coincidence. Not Rohan or Giorno understand, though.

"Can we have cake too?"

They ask in unison and Tonio smiles at the faces of Giorno and Rohan, both surprised at their synchrony.

"Well, why not."

Giorno nods, and adds playfully as he looks at Rohan.

"Anything for our ladies."

Rohan seems to pick Giorno's intention behind his words, and pointing at him with a smile, the mangaka speaks.

"Don't you dare pay for everything, Giovanna!"

"Oh ho? What if I do?"

"Man, let me pay at least half of the bill!"

Giorno clicks his tongue, "No chance."

Tonio leaves to the kitchen, laughing softly at the conversation.

Tugging at Giorno’s sleeve, Lena leans closer, lying gently onto his chest, tired from traveling, as he and Rohan begin to talk. Ari smiles over, glad to finally see the two in person after so long with just phone calls and messages. Slipping her hand into Rohan’s, Ari listens as the boys discuss plans for the week.

“Since we’re here, we would be glad to help settle things for the wedding. Lena said she wants to help with the dress for sure and deciding about colors and flowers and things of that sort. Have you two decided on a theme?”

Rohan gives a little half smile, rubbing Ari’s hand. She nods, speaking up.

“We both love art, so we thought something like Impressionists and Post would work as inspiration. Monet, Van Gogh, Degas…”

Giorno brightened, leaning forward with a smile.

“Ah! Yes, of course. I’ve seen originals in our museums… You have good taste.”

Tonio returned with everyone’s coffee soon, interrupting for a moment, then heading back to the kitchen for cake. Reaching for her cup, Lena took small sips, beginning to wake up as Pearl Jam began its work.

“We also thought it might be fun to include glass or crystals somehow, along with having Rohan make art for the invitations. We want to incorporate both of our styles.”

Smiling from behind her cup, Lena spoke up, giving Gio a chance to sip his.

“I think that’s best. A wedding should feel like both of you. It is your day, after all.”

Tonio interrupted once more, setting down two plates of cake in front of Ari and Lena.

With a round of “thank you”s, Tonio bowed and stayed close, returning to why Rohan and Ari had come in the first place.

“So. Mister Rohan, Miss Ariel… You say you are getting married, yes? Were you just telling me the good news, or did you need something in particular?”

Ari had just taken a bite of cake, sighing happily as her shoulders relaxed and warmth spread through her muscles. Seeing her reaction, Lena dug into her own plate, eyelids fluttering as she popped the fork into her mouth. Tonio really was a genius.

“Tonio… Since we’re doing the ceremony and reception in town, Ariel and I wondered if you’d like to do the catering? We would be pleased if you would agree to--”

“Si!! Absolutely! It would be my honor Signore Kishibe. My dear friend.”

With a smile and a proper handshake, Tonio began rambling excitedly about creating a menu and that with so many people, he couldn’t use his stand, but that he would make the best meal possible, regardless.

“Mr. Giovanna, might you assist us with suggestions for the meal?” Rohan had his palm open, inviting Giorno into the conversation, to which he eagerly accepted, standing with Rohan to have a conversation, the three together.

“They’re all like old friends.”

Lena looked over at Ari with another smile.

“It’s as if they’ve known each other all their lives.” She added with a small laugh. Reaching across the table, Ari extended a hand, taking Lena’s in hers.

“Us too, though. I’m so glad you and Giorno surprised us… Rohan and I need the help. It’s all been a little overwhelming.”

With a little squeeze of their hands, Lena nodded.

“Gio and I remember what that’s like… It’s why we’re here to help! Anything you need, we are at your disposal.”

“What we really need first are invitations, a venue, and a dress. The rest of the details we can iron out late like flowers and food. Though from the sound of it, that last one shouldn’t be an issue.”

All three of the men talked in excited tones, loudly discussing options for food. Rohan grinned over at Ari with an update.

“Tonio says he’ll prepare a tasting menu for tomorrow night for the four of us!”

“That’ll be perfect!”

Glancing back at Lena, Ari raised an eyebrow.

“Will tomorrow work for the two of you?”

“It’s not like we’d be anywhere else, Ari.”

“Then it’s settled. All of us here. Tomorrow.”

“And until then??” Helena was just popping the last forkful of cake into her mouth with a mischievous grin.

“Yes???”

“A dress and a spa day. I’m taking you out tomorrow. The next time we’ll be here is the wedding itself and you need a ‘bachelorette’ from someone. Might as well be me. Giorno’s planning the same for Rohan, but don’t tell him! It’s a surprise~”

“My lips are sealed.”

By the time everyone finished their drinks and food, the sun was already beginning to set. Lena yawned, grabbing onto Gio’s arm again.

“Sleepy, amore?~”

Giorno pet her hair softly, staring down at her. She nodded, giggling and gripping tighter to him.

“I think it’s time for us to head out, then. Rohan, you’ll meet me tomorrow as we discussed, yes?”

Nodding and offering a hand to shake, Rohan confirmed their plan.

“I’ll be there.”

Grinning over at Lena, Ari winked. Lena let go of Gio for a moment, walking over for a hug.

“I’ll text you with the plans tomorrow, Ari. Sleep well.”

“Sleep well, Lena.”

Exiting out of the shop, the two couples parted ways for the night, eagerly anticipating the next day together.

***

Early the next morning, Ariel had driven to the Morioh Grand to pick up Helena for breakfast and plan their day. Smiling as she drove around the familiar corner, Lena was already waiting on the sidewalk.

“Hop in!”

The two greeted each other warmly, chatting as Ari drove to one of the coffee shops downtown for breakfast. Ordering and finding a seat, the two pulled out their phones and a notebook to make lists.

“I’m not really sure what to do for flowers yet… I’ll have to look up vendors around here. I’m just so worried that I’m gonna order the wrong thing, since I’m still new at the language and stuff…”

“Hey. It’s alright.” Lena reached out her hand, squeezing Ari’s supportively.

“Rohan will be there to help you when you order. You just need to know what you want. He can do the rest.”

“Right… Of course. You’re right…”

With the tea and pastries arriving, the two took a short break to eat, looking around at the shop.

“Morioh really is beautiful, Ari. I’m glad we could make it here finally.”

“I’m just happy you came and surprised us!! We’re so glad to have you here. Rohan and I really needed support with all the stress of planning…”

“Certainly!” With another smile, Lena returned to her coffee and croissant, making more comments between bites.

“I made a reservation for us at the dress shop a few weeks ago! And plans at one of the local hot springs after! We should be done in time for dinner tonight with Rohan and Giorno. I also heard plans that Gio’s going to take Rohan shopping too~”

Ari grinned, halfway through another bite.

“Why am I not surprised?~” Swallowing quickly, she smiled over, soon pulling up her phone to look for dress references.

“Do you think they’ll have my size??” Ari glanced up, brow furrowed and cheek smushed into her hand. Laughing quietly, Lena nodded, pulling up another image on her phone to show her.

“They will. I made sure they had all kinds of sizes to try.”

Ariel softened, taking the phone to look and making a quick sketch.

“Should we go soon, then??”

Tucking her phone away, Helena gathered her plate and mug, setting them into the waiting bin.

“Yes, I think it’s time! Ari… viderci?~”

With a little chuckle, Ari did the same, walking out with Lena to the car, then off to their first appointment of the day.

***

“Good morning, Rohan.”

Gio bowed his head, parking his Bugatti Chiron on Rohan’s side of the Street, the don pressing a button to unlock the passenger side door. Rohan smirked, getting inside with a good morning of his own and settling in. Giorno looked over, starting the engine again and addressing his friend.

“It seems like you’re nervous, Han~”

Looking for a moment into the rearview mirror, Gio pulled into the street, putting his blinker on as pulled to the intersection and waited for the cross traffic to slow.

“Oh? Hmmm…”

Rohan hummed and thought for a moment, looking out the windshield at the cars passing by.

“I guess I am… But how couldn’t I be, Giorno? I’m marrying the love of my life—I love her so much, but... I’m worried--what if I’m not enough for her? Or if I screw it up? I just want to make her happy, Giogio.”

Giorno listened quietly, finally finding the opportunity to get onto the street and start towards their destination.

“First,” he said after Rohan looked at him nervously. “I hope the thing you’re doubting it’s not your feelings; from the way you’re acting, I can tell it’s not that... You’re scared your relationship might not work, yes?”

The car stops at a red light and Giorno looks at him.

“However, I have a question for you, and I’m sure it will make your mind clear.”

Giorno looks Rohan in the eye, his seriousness and confidence making Rohan feel smaller for a moment (as soon as the feeling registered, however, it disappeared under the resolve of finding a response to his thoughts). Nodding, Rohan waited.

“Why do you love her?”

Rohan almost felt his soul leave his body.

Thoughts of colors and shapes started to come… Feelings and memories; the way it felt to fall asleep next to her, her lips and her attitude, the way she said his name, her hands on his skin, her hugs... Everything came at once and Rohan found himself staring at the window but not looking at the road or any point in particular, simply thinking about it.

Giorno kept driving, almost patting himself on the back when he saw Rohan’s contemplative stare.

“There’s too many reasons why, Gio. It’s all the little things about her that add up to the one thing I know… That I love her.”

“What your heart is saying will guide you to the right path, Rohan.”

Rohan scoffed, looking over at Giorno with a more playful, relaxed grin.

“And you say you don’t write, Giovanna~”

Giorno scoffs too, stopping at a red light and waving as he sees Josuke at the crosswalk.

“Certainly I don’t, but that doesn’t stop me from having deep thoughts, Han...”

Rohan’s smirk widens. “Mhmm, so you’re a poet now?”

Giorno chuckles, wanting to lighten the mood. “Perhaps… By the way, I have a joke for you.”

Rohan rolls his eyes playfully, trying to hold back his laughter, knowing what’s coming.

“Spare ribs, Giorno~”

Giorno’s laughter makes Rohan laugh too, holding back a snort as Gio yells “RIBS!!!! SPARE RIBS!!!!” at the top of his lungs. Dissolving into warm laughter, Gio pulls into the parking lot, looking for a parking space. Finding one, the don turns the wheel and speeds in the right proportion to pull in.

“Alright, Rohan. Welcome to your bachelor party~”

Rohan smirks, opening the door and stepping out of the car. Then, he closes the door softly at the same time Giorno is checking out the alarm, leaving a small creature made with his stand just in case; years of business at Passione have left its mark on him.

“You said that like it’s a horror movie, Giogio.”

Giorno chuckles, finally closing the door and pressing the key fob’s button to activate the alarm.

“I mean, you look terrified—”

Before his words can get misinterpreted he raises his hand, pursing his lips together and letting his blue eyes pierce Rohan’s green ones. Rohan’s quiet, contemplative demeanor had already returned—a mixture of uncertainty and unspoken anxieties.

“It’s okay, Han, I’m not saying this because I want to make fun of you. I wouldn't do that, not when it’s about something as important as this. Certainly, I know the struggle.”

For the way his eyes shift and how he seems tense, Rohan can tell Giorno is trying to make his mind up about something he’s about to say. Walking towards the elevator that guides to the block of stores, Giorno goes in first, one hand instinctively on his pocket, while the other is relaxed. Rohan follows close behind, both hands tucked halfway into his pants pockets with his proud way of walking as he gets inside the elevator with Giorno. Finally, when the light indicates they’re about to start ascending, Giorno speaks once more.

“Marriage is something beautiful, just like life. At times, you may feel like there’s no need to keep up when things get hard, but if you truly enjoy the good times and treasure your wife, the hard times will be entirely part of the journey. When you marry someone, you do it because you don’t only love them, but because you know them and you two will try this together. Certainly, during the time you dated there were problems and disagreements, but if you managed to make it through and be here, about to marry, then things aren’t that bad. Life has ups and downs and when things don’t work, you can learn from them.”

Rohan’s eyes have been fixed on the floor indicator, silently listening to Giorno.

“Your wife shouldn’t be only your significant other. She has to be your best friend and confidant before anything else. She’s more than the woman you’ll have sex with or kiss. She’s your partner in life and you two must be the perfect team. You need to understand her so you can act according to her boundaries and necessities. You can make love to her in more ways than just sexually, Rohan.”

Giorno looks over at him, crossing his arms over his chest, exposing his ring on purpose.

“So, are you going to love Ariel like you know you want to or will you let the fear of something that might not happen consume you and make you step back?”

Rohan crosses his arms too, humming softly under his breath.

“You’re right. I… I don’t know why I’m so scared, Giogio...”

“Fear is natural, like many other reactions; those make you human. However, it also has something to do with how you deal with those feelings. Just because you’re scared doesn't mean you need to let it consume you and paralyze you. Fear should fuel you to try harder.”

Rohan nods, feeling the influence of Giorno’s resolve fueling him.

“Yes. You’re right. I want to love her like she deserves, be there for her, and never give up until every option has been tested.”

Giorno nods, then, a soft smile grazing his lips. “Good.”

The elevator indicates they have arrived at their destination with a beep, the doors opening and the don stepping out followed by the mangaka. As they walk side by side, Giorno speaks once again.

“I hope you don’t mind my advice, Rohan...”

He shakes his head, walking slowly.

“I don’t, Giorno. You’re one of the few people I can trust about these things. I appreciate hearing your perspective. I can get caught up in my own head sometimes.”

Giorno nods, looking at the store directory as they scan over the shopping options.

“One more thing. You two need to communicate constantly. In case you decide to have kids or even adopting a pet, you need to know the others’ point of view and feelings.”

Rohan gestures to the Gucci store, a mischievous look in his eyes until Giorno gestures too, but at the next store, filled with suits and ties: Rohan nods and then returns to the conversation with a forced smile, uncomfortable, even.

“I don’t think I want to have kids, Gio. I don’t know if I’d be a good dad and… I don’t want my kids —hypothetically speaking— to go through what I went through.”

Rohan pauses a moment, looking up at his friend, swallowing his nervousness, then continuing.

“I haven’t told you, but my parents, with my mom as a model and my dad as a businessman, traveled constantly… On one of these work calls, something happened—but that you already know—the whole situation with Kira Yoshikage.”

Giorno nods solemnly as he sees the pain passing through Rohan’s eyes.

“I get it, Rohan… If I can share as well... My mother rejected me from the very day I was born; when I was four years old she got married to Francesco, an Italian. Therefore, I became an Italian too. However, when she wasn’t around, he used to beat me. Even if she had been there, I don’t think she would have stopped him... I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for someone--I’m sure you’ve heard Lena talk about him- Matteo Armani… The next years were far better. And then—”

Giorno looks over and Rohan nods, signaling he was listening and understanding him as they enter the store together, pausing the story for a moment. Once inside, an employee nods at them, welcoming them with a grin as she recognizes Rohan.

In the suit section, Giorno keeps talking as Rohan looks over the variety of suits; from colorful designs to discrete, serene patterns and color.

“So… three months after I took over my current position, she came and as you may already guess, she wanted money and prestige.”

Choosing two suits to try on, Rohan looks at Giorno, eyebrow raised.

“What happened?”

“I didn’t acknowledge her. She left and I haven’t heard from her ever since.”

Rohan nods, noting Giorno’s dark expression. Giorno’s past had been a product of strange destiny--being born as the son of a cruel, unloving mother and an absent, vampire father. Thinking back to the description given by Jotaro Kujo and Joseph Joestar, it’s surreal to think about Jotaro’s concerns that Giorno would take on his father’s traits. His convictions and actions spoke cleary, differentiating him from DIO Brando. If anything, Rohan was sure of Gio’s kindness; all intimidation and anger he kept restrained, only saved for rare occasions.

As the employee takes the selected outfits from Rohan into a waiting room, Giorno finishes his thoughts, wanting to be sure he’s advised his friend thoroughly.

“I believe, however, that our past shouldn’t define our children, Han. If anything, we must teach them what our parents didn’t teach us, not giving them all they ask for, given the thin line between one thing and another; and giving them the things we didn’t have in a matter of affection or attention. It might not come easy for us, but I assure you, even our wives have a hard time, both with their own stories. I know Lena, and I know she’s affectionate, but she fears too much may happen again. In the same way, we know we weren’t born knowing how to be parents. As said before, marriage is a thing of two.”

Rohan nods once again, wrapping his mind around the whole conversation.

Both men stay silent as they process the conversation, both coming to terms with their shared vulnerability.

Then, as genuine as a child, Rohan snorts at the sight of a tie with a particular snake design.

“Hey, Giogio, come here! I found the perfect tie for you! Man, Lena will thank me for sure after she sees you wearing this~” Giorno frowns, with a suit over his arm. Walking to Rohan, Gio grins once he sees the tie held by Rohan and then, acting still a little serious, his eyes wander for a moment before they land in the jacket with cow designs; instead of black and white, blue and green.

“That one would look Rohan-tastic with your green headband~”

Rohan deadpans then, swallowing his laugh, and speaking with a weird voice thanks to that.

“Did you just make my name into an adjective?”

Giorno nods, walking over to the fitting room, Rohan laughing out loud once Giorno is in. The two try on their outfits, getting approval or disapproval from one another, before settling on their final choices: black pants with a grey dress shirt and purple bowtie for Giorno and the same pants with a lavender shirt for Rohan, finished off with a pair of silver suspenders.

“Perfect. Looks like you’re ready to walk down the aisle, Han~”

“I am, Giogio. Thank you.” He looks up with a smile. “For everything.”

After paying for their selections, Rohan still drags Gio into the Gucci store for extra accessories and gifts for their girls. When finished, the two find somewhere to eat, sitting down at the table together. Giorno sighs, pulling his phone out and dialing his wife’s number as Rohan sends a text to Ari.

“Ciao, bella. Come stai? (...) Mhm, Oh, really? I bet you look breathtaking. (...) Why, of course, we can always look for it, maybe at the hotel? Even if you call Mista I don’t think they have any problems right now, they would have already called us. (...) Alright, donna, see you later. Ciao, ti amo.”

Leaving his phone in the table, Rohan cocks an eyebrow at Giorno, who hangs up with a soft, dreamy smile.

“So, Giogio, will you drink something?”

“The usual, a coffee. You?”

“Hm, I think I’ll go with tea.”

***

Lena looked down at her phone, checking the time, as everyone made their final preparations for the ceremony. Ari sat quietly, hand clasped as she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. Sarah made last minute touch-ups to her hair while a few other bridesmaids stood nearby--Ari’s cousin and some close friends from the states. Music already drifted through the venue and the busy chatter of guests finding their seats mingled with the string quartet.

“How do you think Rohan feels right now??”

Ari looked up at Lena, eyes wide and slightly biting her lip.

“Just as nervous as you~ Gio says he’s been pacing all morning~ Rohan says he’s fine but Gio’s had to calm him down a bunch of times.”

Nodding, Ari grinned now, looking at everyone with a gentle smile. She couldn’t believe the day had finally come. Everyone looked so beautiful in their gowns--all light purple and sparkly, but cut to each person’s individual taste. Standing up and walking to Lena, Ari tucked one of her bouquet flowers into her maid-of-honor’s hair and pulled her into a hug.

“Thank you for being here. I can’t imagine how we would have made it without you. Or Sarah. Or anyone. I’m so grateful for everyone’s support…”

Ari teared up a little, laughing and grabbing a tissue to not mess up her makeup.

“Good thing this mascara is waterproof.”

“It’s okay, Ari! C’mere...”

Lena pulled her into another hug, followed by Sarah, and then all the other bridesmaids, forming a big group hug. Ari stood in the center, blushing at the attention, but glad for their love.

“You guys are going to make me cry for real!”

Laughing, Ari gave each one a hug, before handing out all the bouquets. With a deep breath, she took one more look in the mirror, then nodded at the others.

“I’m ready.”

***

Pacing in the church atrium, Rohan kept checking his watch willing the minutes to go faster as the music continued playing. Nearby, Giorno and Mista stood, along with Ari’s brother Ethan and Fugo, watching Rohan continue his nervous routine. Walking over, Gio put a hand on Rohan shoulder to stop him.

“Han. It’ll be okay. Not long now… Try to relax.”

Rohan nodded, glancing over at the others. Mista gave him a thumbs up and Ethan walked over, raising an eyebrow.

“If you’re marrying my sister, you have to be someone pretty special, Rohan. Don’t sweat this. Logically, the probability of her not showing up is very unlikely.”

“Thank you?”

Their conversation was cut short by the event coordinator, motioning the boys over to take their place for the ceremony. The girls were still in the side corridor, waiting for the others to go in first. Ari’s dad was at the back door, waiting to take his daughter’s arm for the final walk down the aisle.

At the signal, Rohan, accompanied by the others, made their way to the front and took their places, watching the back of the auditorium for the others. As the music changed into a soft guitar version of “The Book of Love,” the bridesmaids walked down the aisle one by one, standing on the other side of the platform, Lena, as the last one to join, locked eyes with her Don and grinned at how nervous Rohan still looked.

As the music slowed and changed, everyone stood, an instrumental version of “A Lady” by Tally Hall signaling the arrival of the bride.

While everyone else watched the bride and her father, Helena stole a glance at Rohan, who stood, wholly transfixed by his future bride. His mouth hung open slightly and the stern persona he usually kept up had completely faded.

As Ari kissed her father’s cheek and hugged him, Rohan walked forward, shaking his hand, then taking Ari’s hand in his own. Walking to the platform, the pastor began their opening remarks, welcoming everyone and starting the ceremony. After acknowledging the parents who were giving away their children, the pastor talked about the purpose of marriage and gave all the required speeches.

If he was honest, Rohan didn’t hear much of it, too focused on the feeling of Ari’s hand in his and the pounding of his heart in his chest. Keeping faced forward, Ari didn’t dare glance at Rohan, because she knew she would burst into happy tears the moment she saw his face.

After Lena and Giorno read selected scripture passages from 1 Cor. 13, Lena returned to take Ari’s flowers. Finally facing each other, Ari and Rohan broke into huge grins. Already tearing up, Ari laughed quietly, trying to keep herself together. The two repeated the pastor’s recitations of traditional vows, “to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”

Each added an extra part on the end of, “I promise to respect you as a person, to regard your needs as my own, to share with you my time and attention, and bring joy, strength, and imagination to our marriage.”

Next, with the exchange of rings, Gio and Lena turned to Mista and Sarah, having entrusted the rings to them. Sarah reached into Golden Swordsman to procure Rohan’s golden band, and Mista opened his hand as the Pistol’s brought Ari’s ring to him, safe and sound. Those who could see the stands chuckled to themselves and soon the rings were in the couple’s hands, traded quietly with an uttering of “with this ring, I thee wed.”

At this point, the two had decided to incorporate ceremonies from both their traditions, one, the taking of communion, the other, san san kudo. After being led through both and offering communion to Ari’s parents and Sake bowls to Rohan’s parents, the two returned to their places, ready to finish the ceremony.

“With that, what God has brought together, let no man rent asunder.” Raising his hand, the pastor smiled at the couple. “I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Unable to contain her grin, Ari beamed, laughing happily as the pastor finally said those words.

“You may now kiss the bride.”

Turning, Rohan slipped a hand to Ari’s cheek, pulling her in tenderly and pressing a gentle, passionate kiss to her lips. When they pulled away, neither could deny that something had changed. They had made a forever promise to one another and that bond was now permanently sealed. Ari leaned her forehead to Rohan’s for a moment with a whispered “I love you” before pulling away to get her flowers back from Lena.

As “Companionship” by Vacationer played softly, the party made their way back down the aisle, everyone celebrating as they exited the church doors with the newlyweds.

***

At the reception venue, Tonio and Okuyasu busied themselves with the food, making last minute preparations for serving. Oku looked out at the decorated tables and soft lighting, staring dreamily at the setup. The whole room was bathed in golden light from lights strung around the venue and star-dotted paper lanterns sat in the middle of each table, surrounded by flowers. The purple and green theme from the wedding had continued here, accents of crystal place holders and colorful brush strokes on the cards. Okuyasu had even helped Tonio paint stained glass patterns on the cake that looked like Tiffany style water lilies combined with Monet’s water lilies color scheme. Oku wasn’t as educated in all that art history stuff, but he did have to admit it was pretty.

“Can’t believe Mr. Rohan finally tied the knot…”

“Oku, please, the tongs?”

“Oh, right, sorry.”

Guests soon filled the space, grabbing drinks and chatting pleasantly, the night’s soundtrack already beginning as the host prepared his papers with the night’s schedule.

Introductions, food, speeches, cake, and dancing. Not as much a traditional Japanese wedding, but introducing America into the traditions.

In one of the side halls, Giorno and Lena were busily tying kimonos onto Ari and Rohan for the reception, trying to incorporate the dual traditions and blend the cultures together. Rohan’s was a deep green and Ari’s a light purple floral.

“Is it okay? Did we get everything tied right?” Lena stepped back, looking over her work.

They had put the garments on overtop the wedding clothes, as they would have to return the kimonos the next day.

“Yes.” Rohan looked over both of their outfits. “They’re right. Thank you for your help.”

Taking Ari’s hand, Rohan rubbed over it with a smile, kissing the back of her hand gently. Leaning into his shoulder, Ari beamed, closing her eyes to just relax into him. Wrapping his arms around her, Rohan let her rest, keeping her close and safe, wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms forever.

“It’s time, guys. They need us.” Giorno announced, holding his arm out for his wife as Mista took Sarah’s hand with a grin.

“Ready?” Rohan looked down at Ari with a soft smile.

“Ready.” Ari leaned up, stealing a quick kiss.

***

The rest of the night was a happy blur of sharing Tonio’s delicious meal, getting emotional over speeches filled with good memories and blessed sentiments, and dancing until everyone’s cheeks were flushed. At the end of the night, the host put on the song “The Stars, They Shine For You” by Blake Lewis, couples filling the dance floor, staying close as they swayed to the tune.

Looking over at the happy couple, dancing and giggling together, so in love, Gio and Lena smiled at each other, reminiscing about their own wedding.

“Were we quite so mushy as them, Giorno?~” Lena teased, laying her head on her husband’s chest.

“That and more, I believe, amore~”

Kissing her forehead, Gio clung to his wife, glancing over at Mista and Sarah. Like the others, they held each other close, leaning into a gentle kiss as the song continued.

Romance was contagious~

The song ended soon, Rohan and Ari locked in a soft kiss, a glimmer of passion flaring in their eyes as the reception came to an end. Pulling them aside, Gio and Lena removed the kimonos, gave them their best wishes, and ushered them through the crowd of guests. Outside, Rohan helped Ari into his car, jumping into the driver’s seat after and speeding off to their next adventure.

#fanfic #collab #arihan #self ship #giolena #arihan wedding #jjba #fanficion #rohan kishibe #giorno giovanna #dongiovannaswife #music #sfw

22 notes · View notes