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bettsfic · 2 months

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Feeling like my work is mainly a setting for romance. Like I have a romantic subplot in all of my ideas… because it’s something I like in the stories I read… BUT I feel like the romance becomes too big. I don’t know sometimes I feel like it makes my work less meaningful in a way because then the complex narrative is pushed to the side and the relationship is center stage. I love reading romance, and respect the genre. But I don’t consider myself someone who is a romance writer. I just know that most likely romance will be a part of many of my books. Right now I’m working on cutting this out but it often leaves me feeling like something is missing after.

Again I love romance but when wanting to write about the complexities of war or the impact misogyny on our society and having those themes get overshadowed a bit because my reader brain loves a romance subplot, annoys me a little. Advice?

i can't for the life of me remember who said this, but a writer once posed to me the idea that tension in a story develops between the changing closeness and distance between relationships. i think romantic conflict in stories is a valid pursuit and honestly i wish more people wrote it. i have no idea why western publishing boxes romance plots into a corner.

which is all to say, i definitely understand the frustration. i'm not sure why there's a subset of writers whose only entry into an immersive flow state is writing about two characters falling in love. but there is, and a great many of us are on tumblr. this frustration is very much the reason i launched both @oficmag and @fanauthorworkshop.

my advice is to write the thing anyway. because the truth is that sometimes our first draft has to be the porn draft, and we can't make ourselves write anything that's not at least a little horny. when you're drafting, you always have to prioritize what's most interesting to you and what will keep you invested in the story. in the case of those of us who enjoy romantic plots, we have to build our diorama in a shoebox and play with one doll in each hand before we can create a whole-ass dollhouse full of other dolls.

by later drafts, i think it becomes easier to balance romantic plots between other aspects of the story so that it seems less insular and you can expand upon your shoebox diorama. you have to trust you'll make it there. in the first draft of Skinless there were about 10 sex scenes. now there are arguably 0. and i don't miss them, really. i'm in PYB mode (pick your battles) and that means i'm mowing down everything that's not integral to the core of the story. but if you had told me this time last year i would be getting rid of all my sex scenes, i would've been horrified. i may not have even continued writing. but the sex scenes were my major quest markers to reach the end of the story. that's what i know how to write: two characters growing closer to one another. and now that i have that draft, i can look at all the stuff i ignored in my haste to get my two characters to bone it out.

trust yourself and your instincts. follow what interests you. once you've got a draft, you can think about the big picture stuff. for now, just smash two dolls' faces together.

#writing advice #process

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langernameohnebedeutung · 8 months

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Hey, I wanted to say I really love your takes on Borderlands, particularly with Nisha and her relationship with Jack. I wanted to get your thoughts on that particular line in the DLC where Jack said it's always me doing all the work and she goes I've said that before. I've noticed some fans tend to take that joke seriously and I thought of it as a light-hearted joke between those two. What are your thoughts?

hmm...I feel like there are several layers to this? Or at least, from what we know and don't know about their relationship, there are different possible interpretations of it.

(Like, I wrote one Nisha/Jack fic where this definitely was the case ...but in fairness that was also right after Jack got the vault-symbol punched in his face so-)

I think one very simple layer of this is that Nisha just very consistently likes to poke fun at Jack. We see a lot of that in Borderlands 2. Which is really an aspect of her personality - she likes to make jabs at other people. So yeah, obviously if he says something like that and she has a good comeback, she's not going to let that slide.

And on a deeper level of that: I think it's important to keep in mind that Jack and Nisha are both very dangerous people with extreme trust issues. Who somehow try to make a relationship work. And on the one hand, it makes sense that these two would get on like a house on fire. But on the other hand, it's kind of an undertaking that relies on a LOT of mutual understanding and trust. For that relationship to work, these two people, who are in the eyes of everyone else (except maybe Wilhelm who doesn't care) a duo of sadistic hypocrites, need to find a way to integrate each other into their very self-centred worldview. Their entire modus operandi is to apply rules to others that they don't apply to themselves - or to one another. And I think their banter is (on a subconscious level) one way of confirming "hey, things are good, we're having fun, I'm happy in this relationship, I still care about you" without ever being forced to be deep about this.

This is something that we also get a lot with Nisha: When Nisha says mean stuff about people, there is often a wide difference in quality. It makes a huge difference whether you are her friend that she wants to poke fun at, some idiot NPC that she considers below her notice, someone she just happens to dislike for her own reasons (like Moxxi in the beginning of TPS) or someone she has a sincere vendetta against (like Lilith and Moxxi at the end of TPS). What really sets all of these apart is the tone and the way in which she says those rude things. And whether she makes threats. That's why Nisha engaging in friendly banter with Jack is a pretty important aspect of their communication.

Another aspect I think is that Nisha and Jack are very performative people. Like, one of them puts up golden statues, and the other one larps as a western Sheriff. And while I think there are slightly different reasons for this (I think Jack buys more into his image or at least...depends more on it to feel good about his more monstrous side. While Nisha's more chill side seems a lot more authentic and more "two parts of the same coin" rather than "mask"), I also think that their relationship and especially THEIR ability to get along and THEIR ability to take criticism from one another and THEIR ability to understand each other's...pretty impenetrable moral code is something that they can have a lot of fun with. Because now they can project out at the world: "See how perfectly we reasonable we are? We are sure getting along. We don't understand why you all insist on not simply getting with the very evident and not-at-all-murderouly-hypocritical programme."

Now, I think the big question for a lot of people in the fandom is: How much (does it?) reflect on their actual sex life.

And ...without much contex about their actual relationship, I think there are several interpretations are possible:

Nisha literally just says it to be funny. As in, she just thought it was a funny moment to say that line. Like a "yo mama" joke.

The joke is that Nisha said it before in a different context that the Vault Hunters know about. e.g. the fact that Jack rarely accompanies them to their mission.

Or it is indeed a comment on their sex life. The thing is, I feel like the insinuation has always been that their sex life is pretty damn good. I think there is even a confirmation of that from Anthony Burch himself but I cannot be bothered to look for it - really, my reasoning is that Nisha is presented as a very sexual person and these two are often presented as very much on the same wavelength sexually. Quite frankly, I don't think Nisha would stay if she was genuinely unhappy with their sex life. A possible interpretation I do see is that they are both Nisha very canonically, Jack frequently implied, switches. So I think if we were to take the comment at face value and assume that a) she really "said that before and b) it was about sex - I would interpret it as "she has been playing the dominant part a lot lately"

#I could swear it said somewhere that Jack and Nisha actually have the best sex life in Borderlands but I'm not sure where #and the waybach machine for Anthony Burch's Ask FM is very sporadic (his own account is restricted without an account fml)#and I'm not even sure that a) he said that and b) he said it there #Nisha Kadam #Handsome Jack #Borderlands #fandom #this reminds me of that reddit AMA where someone asked why Jack's glove is missing some fingers #and his response was: Ask Nisha #and then a lot of people were like: oh yeah he means that she taught him that this is more useful for shooting with a revolver :)

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oathbreakerapologist · 2 months

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Sortie Sad Sack Thought Journal 3: Food, Eating, Consumption

You know, it's kinda funny how many of the various Sad Sack intros/epilogues revolve around food.

It's actually quite a lot of them:

SADS #1 outro (not quite the epilogue but close): the gang talks about getting hotpot.

SADS #2 epilogue: Sal and Stone eat brunch (?) at the restaurant at which Evan works.

SADS #3 intro: Bar scene, though this barely counts and the actual consumption of drinks is SO far down the list of important images/motifs happening here, but I'm a completionist so it's going on the list.

SADS #4: Sal and Stone talk about making dinner (among other things), and the gang eats at the restaurant at which Evan works. Also Stone drinks quite a lot, but that's got a lot of plot function outside of the consumption motif, so that's an item of dubious inclusion like the SADS #3 bar scene.

SADS #5 is, I think, the only one in which this is largely absent (not counting #3.5 and #4.5).

That's a lot, right? It's pretty consistently present, right? It's also there in the nicknames used for the victims—Fleisch ("meat"), Fish, and Feast—explicitly reference food, and it shows up between Sal and Stone in the way that Sal uses the word "meat" in sexual contexts (there are so many different ways to linguistically reduce a person to their body, so the choice of "meat," linking to food specifically, is quite noteworthy).

Food/eating/consumption motifs in media generally do at least one of three things: (1) reinforce or deny the humanity of the eater, (2) suggest desire or compulsion (I'm putting "food as a sex metaphor" in this category), or (3) serve as class commentary.

Question 3: What does the food motif in SADS do for the narrative?

I'm going to rule out purpose (3), class commentary, right off the bat (and I'm going to do that without talking much about it because this isn't the post for that).

Purpose (1), the humanity thing, is plausible, but there's something to be said for the fact that SADS is already exploring affirmation/denial of humanity in ways that are both significantly more nuanced and significantly more interesting (in my opinion) than your standard food-motif-for-humanity. The showing/concealing of faces (see previous posts in this tag) is (again, in my opinion) the strongest one here, and I think it's fair to say that that pulls a lot more narrative weight than the eating motif because the face thing is MUCH more thoroughly interwoven into all parts of the narrative, while the food/eating scenes are generally framing scenes, not particularly integrated with... the main events. So, I don't know, you could make a case for a humanity reading of food/eating in SADS and I wouldn't fight you over it, but I'm not convinced that's the primary purpose.

Purpose (2), the desire thing, is also deeply plausible. A major psychological thread running through SADS is the question of the degree to which each character is killing because they want to, rather than out of some higher purpose (justice, vengeance, healing, etc.).

(This is a tangent, but if I had to rank the characters in terms of the degree to which I think they're desire-motivated, my list would be (from least to most desire-motivated) Mal, Stone, Jake, Sal, Garv.)

Anyway, when desire-as-motivator is such a major thematic element, it wouldn't be unexpected to see it appear as the content of a motif. But I have three problems with the idea that desire is the primary thing communicated by the food motif.

(Haha, surprise, that "tangent" wasn't actually a tangent at all. That's about to be relevant.)

The first problem is that you would expect the motif to be most strongly associated with the characters whose relationship to desire is most narratively significant. That's Garv, of course. But he's notably absent from quite a lot of the scenes focused on eating/consumption (see, for instance, his almost total absence from the conversation about hotpot in SADS #1), and the (relatively slim number of) scenes focused on him generally have nothing to do with food (see, for instance, his date with Namrata in the intro of SADS #4). This might actually be relevant to the food-as-humanity-indicator thing—perhaps a relevant topic for a forthcoming post on The Haunting and Perplexing Question of the Ontological Status of Garv—but that doesn't resolve my general suspicion that humanity signaling is not what food is doing here. Point being, if that's what the motif is doing, then it's attached somewhat weirdly to characters to whom we wouldn't expect it to attach.

The second problem is a bit more minor, but it's still there, and that is that the showing/revealing of faces thing also accounts for the desire component of the narrative in a way that's more nuanced and more interesting than the food-as-desire-signifier thing. That comes about through the Levinasian reading (again, see previous posts in this tag), which is perhaps a bit of a niche and speculative interpretation of SADS, but I think I've got sufficient grounds for it.

The third problem is the near absence of food from Sortie. (Oops, I lied, this isn't really about Sad Sack, or at least it's not about Sad Sack anymore.) Sal is, interestingly, one of the characters in SADS that occurs most often in food-motif scenes. And yet, the food/consumption motif very nearly drops off the map in Sortie (at least in #1–#3). Notably, in Sortie #3, nothing at all gets eaten during Sal and Mary's "brunch date."

There's a couple plausible ways to rectify this discontinuity. One would be to say that Sal has changed quite a bit between SADS and Sortie. But has he really? (I'm not convinced.) Another would be to take the absence of eating as a new absence of humanity indicator, possibly to do with his metaphorical—and somewhat literal—rise from the dead at the end of SADS; dead men don't need to eat. But he does eat, albeit briefly. In Sortie #1, he's seen eating a banana (paging Dr. Freud). So the absence isn't really an absence but a substantial decrease in presence of a motif that may still be there.

Interesting. Suspicious.

Question 3.1: What feature of Sal's narrative arc accounts for the diminishment of the food motif between SADS and Sortie?

Not sure yet. To be determined, maybe.

#not bg3 #my sad sack thought journal #sad sack #sortie

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ravenstargames · 1 year

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As an asexual person who's uncomfortable with explicit sex scenes but a sucker for romance, I love that you give us the option to skip sex scenes without punishing us! I'm so looking forward to this game! Love you devs, I hope you all are doing well, are healthy and happy and laugh lots everyday! 💜

I'm so so happy to read you, anon! 💜 It is very important for us to offer a mature and sex-positive experience, while also keeping in mind those of you who would rather not engage with that kind of content. More than a "reward" (for a lack of a better word), sex in Lost in Limbo is an integral part of the story that is meant to make the player feel good!

If anyone is curious about how this is going to work with a bit more detail, all the LIs (minus Amon: explanation here!) will have at least one sex scene, but there's also a non-sexual equivalent to that scene. The LIs will check for the MCs consent one way or another before the scene can take place, and you as the player will be able to choose if you want to proceed with the sexual scene, or play the non-sexual equivalent.

As the writer, I'm determined to make them both equally satisfying to play through and meaningful to the relationship/character development, so those of you who don't want to engage with that kind of content don't feel like you are missing out anything!

Sorry for using your ask for this, anon! 💜 I thought it would be nice just in case anyone was wondering how the system is planned as of right now. Thank you so so much for your kindness, you made our day with this, I swear! We hope your week has been amazing and that wonderful things are awaiting you for the weekend, and please take care! 💜

#lost in limbo #general asks

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riphimopen · 1 year

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I was thinking about how butthead is scared of sex being painful (said in dtu) and how that could be linked to his past experiences like Cora anthrax, that one comic where they're dressed as girls and Todd and earl find them at the end etc

any thoughts on this?

oh definitely. like beavis is obviously his own case of extreme abuse and multiple mentions of assault but i think so much of butthead's insistence about scoring and his desire to present masculinity revolves around those early instances of him being sexually abused and straight up raped in the comics. hes on a quest to have sex on his own terms with his bodily autonomy intact and his boundaries respected, only he doesnt know what that's supposed to look like; he doesnt even know what his own boundaries are. hes terrified that when he finally does score the way he wants to, of his own volition, that it's gonna be just as painful and humiliating and emasculating as it's been in the past - i think thats also why both he and beavis freeze up and make faces of absolute horror when confronted with the actual prospect of sex rather than the abstract concept, like for example in do america when dallas propositions them

like. these are not faces that scream enthusiasm the way youd expect from these two. butthead's history of associating sex with pain is i think an integral part of his character in the same way his crush on todd and the sparse mentions of his mother are: they paint the same picture of a very VERY abused child who is desperately searching for an intimacy that he's never experienced and isn't sure exists, and hes afraid that if he does finally reach out under the right circumstances - a hot chick, him in control - and it STILL hurts and terrifies him, itll take him right back to the helplessness and victimization hes dealt with all his life. idk idk that quote from dtu was definitely an eye opener like. it really just lays it on the table that he expects sex to hurt even while knowing that ideally it shouldnt. beavis's cases of assault are portrayed as more frequent but i think that butthead's experiences have been just as formative and definitely contribute to his defense mechanisms, his desire to take the role of leader, and the way he forms relationships equating violence to intimacy

#asks #both dream sequences in dtu are so revealing of the ways these two think about sex #like. butthead envisioning sex as a hurdle for him to finally overcome in able to genuinely embrace himself sexually and face his fears #versus beavis seeing it as the entry to a devoted and protective long term relationship #deeeeeeep sigh

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dontmeantobepoliticalbut · 1 year

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The Supreme Court is being warned about the potentially dire consequences of a case next week involving a Christian graphic artist who objects to designing wedding websites for same-sex couples.

Rule for the designer and the Justices will expose not only same-sex couples but also Black people, immigrants, Jews, Muslims and others to discrimination, liberal groups say.

Rule against her and the justices will force artists — from painters and photographers to writers and musicians — to do work that is against their faith, conservative groups argue.

Both sides have described for the court what lawyers sometimes call “a parade of horribles” that could result if the ruling doesn’t go their way.

The case marks the second time in five years that the Supreme Court has confronted the issue of a business owner who says their religion prevents them from creating works for a gay wedding. This time, most experts expect that the court now dominated 6-3 by conservatives and particularly sympathetic to religious plaintiffs will side with Lorie Smith, the Denver-area designer in the case.

But the American Civil Liberties Union, in a brief filed with the court, was among those that called Smith’s argument “carte blanche to discriminate whenever a business’s product or service could be characterized as ‘expressive,’” a category of businesses that could range from “luggage to linens to landscaping.” Those businesses, they said, could announce, “We Do Not Serve Blacks, Gays, or Muslims.”

Smith’s attorneys at the Arizona-based Alliance Defending Freedom say that’s not true. “I think it’s disingenuous and false to say that a win for Lorie in this case would take us back to those times where people ... were denied access to essential goods and services based on who they were,” said ADF attorney Kellie Fiedorek, adding, “A win for Lorie here would never permit such conduct, like some of the hypotheticals that they’re raising.”

Smith’s case follows that of Colorado baker Jack Phillips, who objected to creating a wedding cake for a gay couple. The couple sued, but the case ended with a limited decision. Phillips’ lawyer, Kristen Waggoner, is back before the high court Monday arguing for Smith.

Smith wants to begin offering wedding websites, but she says her Christian faith prevents her from creating websites celebrating same-sex marriages. That could get her in trouble with state law. Colorado, like most other states, has a public accommodation law that says if Smith offers wedding websites to the public, she must provide them to all customers. Businesses that violate the law can be fined, among other things.

Smith, for her part, says Colorado’s law violates the Constitution’s First Amendment by forcing her to express a message with which she disagrees.

Among Smith’s other opponents are the Biden administration and 20 mostly Democratic-leaning states including California, New York and Pennsylvania. The states told the court in one of 75 legal briefs filed by outside groups in the case that accepting Smith’s arguments would allow for widespread discrimination.

“A bakery whose owner opposed mixed-race relationships could refuse to bake wedding cakes for interracial couples,” the states said. A “real estate agency whose owner opposed racial integration could refuse to represent Black couples seeking to purchase a home in a predominantly white neighborhood; or a portrait studio whose proprietor opposes interracial adoption could refuse to take pictures of white parents with their Black adopted children.”

Those race-based examples could get particular attention on a court with two Black Justices, Clarence Thomas and Ketanji Brown Jackson, who are married to white spouses and another Justice, Amy Coney Barrett, who has two adopted children who are Black. But the states gave an example involving a person’s national origin too. “A tattoo studio could ink American flag tattoos on customers born in the United States while refusing to sell identical tattoos to immigrants,” they said.

Brianne Gorod of the Constitutional Accountability Center, representing a group of law professors, hypothesized other examples of what could happen if Smith succeeds at the high court.

“A web designer could refuse to create a web page celebrating a female CEO’s retirement — violating Colorado’s prohibition on sex discrimination — if he believed all women have a duty to stay home and raise children. Similarly, a furniture-maker — who considers his furniture pieces to be artistically expressive — could refuse to serve an interracial couple if he believed that interracial couples should not share a home together. Or an architect could refuse to design a home for an interfaith couple,” she told the court.

Smith’s supporters, however, among them 20 mostly Republican-leaning states, say ruling against her has negative consequences, too. A lawyer for the CatholicVote.org education fund told the court that if the lower court ruling stands and Smith loses, “a Jewish choreographer will have to stage a dramatic Easter performance, a Catholic singer will be required to perform at a marriage of two divorcees, and a Muslim who operates an advertising agency will be unable to refuse to create a campaign for a liquor company.”

The Jewish Coalition for Religious Liberty put it differently, telling the court that a Jewish baker could have to fulfill the request of a Neo-Nazi who wants a cake saying “Happy November 9th!” — a reference to Kristallnacht, the night in 1938 when Nazis burned synagogues and vandalized Jewish businesses throughout Germany and Austria.

Alan B. Morrison, a constitutional law expert at Georgetown University, underscored that Smith doesn’t currently do wedding websites, making the case particularly speculative and, he says, problematic. Still, Morrison chuckled at some of the hypothetical scenarios both sides came up with, suggesting they are “a bit overblown.”

The examples, he said, are “the kind of thing a law professor would think of.”

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rotationalsymmetry · 2 years

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They're all connected, you know.

Start with nonviolence. (I'm not going to draw a diagram, but you should imagine one. Nonviolence is in the middle, there are lines radiating out to other concepts, and everything is connected to everything else.) Nonviolence is connected to bodily autonomy, I mean obviously, violence is violation. Someone does physical, or sexual, violence to you, it damages the integrity of your body and your right to control what happens to your body. Bodily autonomy is connected to the idea of equality, as counter to the idea of domination, or coercion, or hierarchy, and both connect back to nonviolence. (If it helps, consider two diagrams, the other one has "violence" in the middle, and "violation" and "domination" as two other points.) Domination is all sorts of things -- colonialism of course, and all sorts of power relationships. That thing where you need a job, more or less, to access basic necessities like food and shelter, and to have a job you need to submit to a boss. Cops. And neoliberalism is part of this.

Draw another line, this one towards abuse, which is closely related to domination, but some power relationships are less fucking awful than others and sometimes abuse happens between people who are at least theoretically equals, so I guess it's not exactly the same thing. Abuse includes domestic violence, child abuse, workplace abuse, medical abuse, mistreatment of prisoners (of war or otherwise), and bullying. Also communities and societies can be abusive, it's not always individuals. For the positive diagram, call it healthy relationships.

Draw a line towards gender. Gender freedom on one side, rigid gender roles on the other. Gender freedom is freedom to be gender nonconforming (including in regards to who you fuck or partner up with) and freedom to decide what your gender is.

Draw a line to sex positivity. Sex positivity is consent-based sexual ethics, the idea that "weird" sex is only bad if it's bad for the people involved, and "normal" sex is only good if it's good for the people involved, and who decides what's good or bad, you guessed it, the people actually having the sex. Or not having the sex, as the case may be. Its opposite is sex negativity, the idea that there's one right way to do sex and love and all other ways are bad and wrong. The idea that following the rules is more important than want anyone wants, or how they experience the sex/etc. Sex negativity is chastity based sexual ethics, aka purity culture. (Noto bene that it's possible to have multiple mutually exclusive rule sets, the key to sex negativity isn't which rule set, it's that there is a set of rules and breaking them is considered bad because breaking the rules is bad.)

Draw a line to how children are raised, an obedience-focused "children should be seen and not heard" system of rules, rewards, and punishments where "this hurts you more than it hurts me" and "mother/father knows best" and "because I said so". Or a system based on respect and the understanding that kids grow up to be adults, where rules might exist for safety purposes but the reasoning behind the rules is always more important than the rules themselves, and where it's assumed that children want to be good people, so if they're being cruel or messy or angry or whatever, there's probably a reason that makes sense, or some barrier getting in the way, and that figuring out those reasons and barriers is more effective than punishment.

Draw a line to universal salvation or rejecting the idea of heaven and hell entirely on one hand, and the idea that there is a just God who punishes the unworthy on the other.

Draw a line to police and prisons, on one hand, and restorative or transformative or whatever the kids are calling it these days justice on the other, the idea that when adults break the law there's usually an underlying reason and figuring out that reason or that barrier is more useful than punishment. Sometimes it's leaded paint. Sometimes it's sucky laws that only exist as a pretext to arrest a lot of black and brown people -- the cocaine/crack racial disparity in prison sentences thing being a prime example.

Draw a line to how you do relationships, amatonormativity and toxic monogamy on the one hand, expectations that it's normal for people in relationships to exhibit some level of controlling behavior, that this is justified by fear of being cheated on. Contrast with a system of handling intimate relationships based on boundaries and personal autonomy.

Draw a line to fat acceptance vs fatphobia. Thinness as female obedience. Thinness as patient obedience to doctor's orders, where disobedience justifies a refusal to treat.

Draw a line to disability, and whether disabled people are cared for and accommodated or marginalized and discarded. Draw a line to the idea of neurodiversity, that different isn't automatically wrong, that people get to decide for themselves whether their way of being different is something they like or something they want to change, and if they want to change it, which parts they want to change and what level of cost they're willing to accept.

Draw a line to decision-making processes -- this is maybe not an either/or binary so much as a spectrum, from absolute despotism to ... idk, there's how much of a say everyone gets in decision-making and what the grievance procedure is like and whether the rules apply to everyone or the most privileged and powerful can get out of them, and that's not all one thing.

And all of a sudden the node that says "suffering is bad" almost doesn't seem like it's part of the same network. Because it's not a bad value, but thing is, if you have bodily autonomy and you have a concept of human rights that includes things like food and health care and shelter, and you have a system for making decisions that doesn't exclude people, then...people have the power to decide for themselves what tradeoffs they're willing to make, in order to avoid suffering, and what they're willing to push for and so on. It doesn't have to be something decided on from the outside, oh, homeless people are suffering and that's bad, or trans people who aren't allowed access to gender affirming health care suffer and that's bad, you can just start with bodily autonomy and how decisions are made, and people who are suffering don't have to appeal to the compassion and understanding of other people in positions of greater power.

Pacifism, in the sense of being against war, is everything. Like yes, it's about violence obviously, but that's not all it's about. It's about domination and hierarchy and coercioin, it's about bodily autonomy or lack thereof, it's about who makes the decisions, it's about gender (it is so about gender, so much of the "man up" stuff is ensuring men are fit to be soldiers) and bullying and capitalism, in the sense that why is it important that the magic numbers always go up, it's because the magic numbers represent a nation's ability to fight war effectively. You thought the stock market was about greed? Uh-uh. A wealthy nation can afford to be a well-armed nation and a well-armed nation gets to push other people around rather than being the ones getting pushed around. It all comes back to power, and arms are power and money buys you arms. (And once you've made it clear that you have more and better weapons than anyone else, you can make demands on them that in turn make the magic numbers go up even higher.) And abortion is connected to war, because what do you need to have a strong military? You need people -- even when you don't need people as soldiers that much because you've got great tech, you still need people to make the tech and, you know, people to make the magic numbers keep going up.

Anyways this would all be a lot more obvious to progressives if, one, people didn't latch on to the idea of feminism as meaning that men have nothing interesting to say quite so much (because dang a lot of the useful concepts here come from men, from their own "man up" experiences), and two, the draft in the US hadn't been ended with the Vietnam War as being too much of a hassle, relative to just forcing people into the military via poverty and lack of decent work/education options, which, by the way, why doesn't the US have free higher ed? Because there would be less military recruitment if the military couldn't use "we'll pay for your education" as an incentive.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't want a draft, but damn the middle class pays a lot more attention to issues that directly affect them. And if the middle class isn't paying attention, the media isn't paying attention.

#manifesto #political #discourse

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tuiyla · 2 years

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Are there any plots that you just refuse to take seriously and/or hold against the characters, because you find them to just be THAT stupid or ooc?

Like for me, I just simply cannot be bothered about Santana's role in the Brody mess. The whole plot was clearly about giving Finchel that "stay away from my future wife" moment that we're meant to swoon over, and Santana was nothing but a plot device to get Finn in the room. So whatever. I am not engaging.

And it's slightly different, but I still mostly ignore the entire Lucy Caboosey plot. To this day, I mostly view it as them grasping for something to mock about Dianna, and coming up empty, they were like "let's just have fun destroying a pic of her in photoshop". The only good thing I took from that plot was it allows Santana to call her "Lucy Q" in fics.

Okay no more procrastinating answering this, hey Anon. Sadly I can't say I took so long because I've come up with a myriad of examples. Truth is, Glee's both a) so inconsistent and b) so far removed from reality at times and tonally shifting all the time that there are a bunch of moments we could dismiss as OOC. It actually seems to be an issue that everyone has that line in the fandom where they ignore things but the line is somewhere else in each case. Fun, thanks Glee.

For me, I actually don't cut Santana slack for that one because it was a big Yikes and unfortunately something she would at least sorta do. I do fully consider Finn a freak for it as well and hate the framing of the scene. As for Lucy Caboosey, it's funny, I've never known where I stood with that. I still don't. Honestly, since I can make it work I don't hate it all that much. I often feel like I do a lot of the heavy-lifting for the writers, more so than they deserve but Lucy Q is one of those that I can sort of make work so I don't ignore it.

An example of my own that immediately comes to mind is the infamous sex tape, of course, which is played for laughs and is the second most infuriating thing Flopson has written. Wow that man's scripts suck. I simply cannot treat it seriously or even as part of canon most of the time because it's just so icky. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite because I won't hold it against Britt's character but I just refuse to engage with that plot on any serious level. You can't, it's non-consensual distribution of underage p*rn played for laughs. Not even good laughs! Pathetic.

Another much less serious example that comes mind, and one that pisses me off regardless of it being a minor instance is Rachel and Mercedes' bathroom scene in 100. When Mercedes says Santana is one of high school ghosts? When she and Rachel commiserate about people like Santana and Quinn? No. Absolutely not. I refuse to indulge this pity fest designed to reestablish Rachel as the ultimate underdog despite all her dreams coming true. I refuse to let the writers throw not one, not two, but like four rich and interesting female dynamics under the bus. All so we can be clear who the baddie is and get rid of any sort of nuance in the Pezberry feud. They can pry Sancedes from my dead cold hands, and same goes for Quinncedes. Wasn't it enough throwing Quinntana under the bus in Trio? God, where does it stop.

Those moments often annoy me much more than entire storylines do. When the writers can only elevate one friendship/relationship by downplaying another. It's a sign of weak writing and I hate it. It's like they treat personal relationships as a zero-sum game. Anyway, other than that I'm blanking on standout OOC moments. I'm sure there are loads, like I said Glee's inconsistency is awful and happens not only from episode to episode but within 45-minute spans. It's inevitable that many moments will feel OOC and completely out of place. The ones I'd care most about are, naturally, Santana-related ones, but for better or worse I can integrate just about anything into a logical arc for her. Except for not talking to any of her friends in season 6. But I don't see that as an in-universe problem.

#this was hardly worth the wait lol but #hope there's something in there for you anon #glee asks #anon #glee's writing issues #new tag but most of my posts belong under it

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mydarlinginej · 2 years

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read my full review of circling back to you by julie tieu here.

Julie Tieu, an exciting new and diverse voice in contemporary romance, returns with a hilarious and sexy new novel about colleagues who decide to take their relationship outside the office.

Cadence Lim has transformed from behind-the-scenes number cruncher to an integral part of the sales team at Prism Realty. But despite moving up the corporate ladder, her complicated relationship with her estranged elderly father weighs heavily and she can’t seem to shake the desire for a new beginning.

At least Cadence can always lean on her favorite co-worker and co-conspirator, Matt Escanilla. A top broker with an unsuccessful love life, the forever single Matt is constantly being nagged by his loving Filipino family to settle down.

Their relationship takes a turn when a business trip lands them both in their hometown and Matt enlists Cadence as a pretend girlfriend for a family gathering. The new after-hours setting forces the two friends to see each other in a new light, and their previously buried feelings rise quickly to the surface. When competing promotions threaten to separate Cadence and Matt, these office besties must work together to round up their ambitions and families to pursue their overdue romance.

my review:

The Donut Trap was one of my favorite releases of 2021, so I was unbelievably excited for Julie Tieu’s next book! After reading the summary for it, I was even more excited for it, and I loved it. Circling Back to You was a hot romance outside of the office that also explored complex family dynamics.

Matt Escanilla is up for a big promotion that’ll allow him to move to L.A. to be closer to his family, like he’s always wanted—but only if he makes this huge sale. Cadence Lim is ready to move on from their company but is unsure of her next steps; she’s roped into helping Matt when the client mistakenly dials her extension, and he takes a liking to her. They end up taking a business trip to L.A. that also coincides with both of their plans to visit family, and along the way, they must decide whether or not to give into the intense attraction that’s been lingering between them for years.

Not to compare them, but this book was a bit tonally different from The Donut Trap. For one thing, I would say Circling Back to You is more of a romance in the way you expect, especially with both Matt’s and Cadence’s points-of-view. Also, there were a lot steamier scenes; while the sex scene in The Donut Trap was closed-door/fadeaway, that’s not the case in this book.

read my full review here.

#circling back to you #julie tieu #reviews #book reviews #booklr #mine #link #q

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twelvedaysinaugust · 2 years

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This might be a very unpopular opinion but I dnt think Louis is out to all of his family members. I think a very select few know his truth and that's why I dnt believe in everybody in industry knows, they are married and all that stuff.//

This is fascinating. Can you say more about why you think this?

I don't know what I think. I think Closeting is very common in the entertainment industry and because it is so common, I think it probably isn't the big deal we think it is. I look at it like I think they were together in the band and they learned to hide it. And then they got out of the band and kept doing what they have always done.

Harry and Louis are an interesting situation because they are both famous and they both have the Larry rumor over them. Usually when someone is closeted, it's not openly talked about that they are closeted. Some people might speculate, but they don't have an entire fan base of 'Larries' openly talking about their closet. (Not to blame Larries, I think they want it to be talked about and do things so people will talk about them).

you might be right. I can see it from your viewpoint. The more people that know, the less of a secret it is.

Do you think he is not out to protect Larry (or another same sex relationship)? Or do you think he is not out because he doesn't want family to know he is queer?

What about Harry? Do you think his family think he is dating Olivia?

I really think at least some of Louis’ family views Eleanor as his girlfriend. And I think it’s possible that he treats her like his girlfriend in their presence, too. In the beginning, I think very few people knew - perhaps only Anne and Jay and a select few others (like Robin). And given how young Louis’ siblings were, it makes sense to me that Eleanor would simply be introduced as Louis’ girlfriend and become very close with his family. However, even after Louis and Eleanor got back together, she still attended family gatherings. The case in point for me is Christmas, which Eleanor usually spent with Louis’ family in Doncaster. And even when Eleanor was absent this past year, Phoebe thanked “El & Louis” on her story for her new Gucci sunglasses. Maybe that was Phoebe saving face, but I kind of suspect that Louis said that was a gift from him and Eleanor. Even if the Tomlinsons see El as a family friend at this point, none of Louis’ other friends are spending Christmas with his family. And if Harry (or anyone else) is Louis’ partner, he’s missing out on a lot of these family gatherings, too.

Similarly, we most often see Louis and Eleanor spending time together in the presence of his friends. I think part of that is easily explained away as Eleanor enjoying music festivals and clubs, plus it makes sense that she would be integrated into Louis’ friend group after all these years. But still, I find the Elounor dynamic most convincing when they’re in the presence of other people, mainly Louis’ family and friends.

Anyways, I’ve thought a lot about this because Eleanor’s involvement with Louis’ family has always been a sticking point for me. I don’t want to get into who knows what, but I think it’s possible that Louis isn’t explicitly out to all his family and friends. Or maybe they know or suspect he’s queer but don’t know much about his personal relationships, etc. I also look at the way some of Louis’ family has approached social media (including Mark and the older twins) and I can understand why Louis would feel the need to protect himself (and possibly his partner) in this regard. (Mark said he’d spill family secrets in exchange for 500k Instagram followers. Troy blackmailed Louis through the press and threatened to “drop a bombshell” if he couldn’t see Louis and Freddie - we thought he was going to out Louis. And the twins…) It feels weird talking about this because it seems really naive to think that I, a stranger, could possibly know more than Louis’ loved ones, but this is how it makes the most sense to me. I also don’t think this type of dynamic is at all unusual for queer people and their families. As for Harry, I think his family knows.

#eleanor calder #closeting

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mestos · 7 months

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CA headcanons that im too lazy to draw or have no idea how to write

Putting them together to keep my brainrot ongoing and ONE DAY draw them...

Shinichi/Conan:

- i am a firm believer in glasses shinichi. i know glasses for this character is stupid lore integral but i literally don't care. My basis is that repercussions of being shrunken takes form in the slightest ways, such as weaker immune system plus weaker vision. it was inevitable anyway as well, given his bad screen practices and genes. he wears circular glasses though as shinichi and only wears it at home, and vehemently refuses to be seen outdoors with glasses.

- that post that's like, "i love my men with blood on their hands and traumatized"? i love to hc b.o takedowns where he actually kills gin. shoots him. Fucking murders him and destroys his principles. i need him to actually face a stake in his life and be it this sort of loss??? so much room for growth.

- contrary to how hes portrayed, even if he praises holmes as his god, he genuinely does read other mystery novels. often seen with a pocket mystery novel

- tbh. i think of them as different people but not haibara/shiho as different people Hahahah!! I love the idea of growth in the form edogawa conan. I think in a no antidote route, conan is less serious, still snarky, but more willing to tease. exceptionally casual and confident, but humbled with scars. Understands his limits but also very sweet to his gf

- in a no antidote route, i also hc conan to be more explorative. my conan experiments everything with his two bros mitsuhiko and genta, praises them both, and actually wants to find a seperate hobby that makes him different from the shadow he once was

- in a no antidote route he also dyes his hair a lighter brown to be different

- hes closer to mitsuhiko! in fact he is so proud of mitsuhiko very often, and supports him where he can. they study together. he and genta are both in soccer teams, and they go to practice together and hang out with the team

- also i am in firm belief he can be a romantic if hes not thinking about it. but sometimes he does know what hes doing. and is pretty damn good at it.

- unsurprisingly easily jealous but isn't that petty about it

Shiho/Ai:

I have lesser HCs for haibara bc i actually am fine for the most part with the canon supplement material. i just feel bad for her lol i want to save her from the show's canon...but!

- her self destructive behaviour can sometimes cause a wedge between them. he is very patient with her all things regardless, but they have had a fight about it before—and she knows she needs to do better, in order for their relationship to work. He cant always be the only one apologizing

- despite being the one who seems unfallible she's just very good at hiding when she's embarrassed/affected by shin/con. he gets pretty good at figuring this out a few years into their r.s.

- (SA mention) i definitely think she has some kind of unprocessed SA trauma behind her, but contrary to what people may think, she isnt sex-repulsed or unwilling. they have healthy times for it and both of them explore things at their own pace together. she trusts her partner with herself and has found her own autonomy after everything

- i double as a seraran stan but i think she and ran would actually be good friends too!!!!!! even if she wouldn't be as close to her as shin would ever be, they have lunch together once a month as adults and often talk about their partner's tendency to get sucked into cases and their fangs...

- i strongly hc shiho as demisexual/demiromantic. even supposedly if in any canon of mine she doesn't get w shin (unlikely) she takes time to herself and live freely independently until she finds her own partner. i dont think its some cut off goal of hers to get one anyway, she feels loved as she is and is fine with that

- she has trouble voicing when she's touchstarved. he tends to notice, though, and acts quickly. she avoids the feeling vs him being needy about it

- in a no antidote route she experiments growing her hair out once. it felt foreign, and difficult to maintain her curls, so she cut it the next summer. shin liked it either way though

CoAi/ShinShi :

- ShinShi move in together at age 20-21. he proposes relatively early—only after 3 years of dating—but they dont get married until they are like 26. they just kept putting it off lmao

- penthouse apartment in the city. Its luxurious but shiho constantly jokes about the idea they get bombed. shinichi doesnt like it.

- Shin gets his license immediately after turning 20. Shiho tends to do most of the driving still, but they take turns during road trips with the kids

- If ShinShi revealed their identities to the kids (whether the kids figured them out on their own or not), shinichi puts on his conan glasses for them and shiho puts on a similar, adult sized sleeveless turtleneck whenever they're together. they assume the roles of Conan and Ai with them (even going as far as introducing themselves as such to other people with the kids). It gives them a state of normalcy even if they have a larger age gap, intergenerational friendship alongside some parenting.

- they do get two dogs. shiho allows him to name only one of the dogs and of all names he chooses its freaking watson. the other dog is named vivi. short for vivianite, a mineral that can form on decaying corpses. Watson is a german shepherd while vivi is a pomeranian husky mix

Will update if i ever think of more

#neesan texto #CA musings

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lgbtqiamuslimpedia · 11 months

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LGBTQI+ rights in Comoros 🇰🇲

LGBTQI+ rights in Comoros Islands is worst.Comoros is one of those country that has harsh penalty against homosexuality. LGBTQIA+ people are regularly prosecuted by the government and additionally face stigmatization among the broader population.

Legality of Homosexuality

Homosexuality is a punishable offense in Comoros (except Mayotte Island).Both male & female same-sex sexual activity are illegal in Comoros.Such acts are punished with up to 5 years imprisonment and a fine of 50,000 to 1,000,000 francs.

Criminalization

Sodomy was first criminalized in Comoros by french colonists.After the independence Comoros became a Islamic state & enacted strict islamic rules for its citizens.Since 1995 penal code of article 318 criminalizes indecent acts,sexual conducts of same-sex people.[citation needed]

Recognition of Same-sex relationships

There's no legal recognition of non-traditional,non-heterosexual relationship in Comoros Islands.

Discrimination,Violence

Discrimination towards Comorian LGBTQI+ citizens is very high.There is no legal protection against discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity.Only Mayotte island of French Jurisdiction has anti-discrimination laws for LGBTQI+ people.

The U.S. Department of State's 2010 Human Rights Report found no case of homosexuality has come before the Comorian court.The report also claimed that no public debate on this issue has been held, & persons engaging in homosexual activity did not publicly discuss their sexual orientation due to societal pressure.

Recognition of Gender Identity

There is no legal recognition of one's gender identity & state does not provide a third gender/sex option in passports,other documents.

In Mayotte (which is also a part of Comoros Islands) effeminate males are known as Sarambavis.The term Sarambavis designate a category of trangender people relatively well integrated within the Mayotte population.They represent a specificity of Mahoran & Comorian culture, like RaeRae of French Polynesia.

Sarambavis used to dress,act and behave like a woman.They choose to obey the 'law of women', participating in particular in traditional dances,household works.Some of them even opt for a sex change.They regularly find jobs originally reserved for women,such as childcare.[citation needed]

LGBTQI+ Association

There is no advocacy group or organization for LGBTQ+ rights in Comoros.The state does not allow any association that works for the people non-normative sexuality & gender expression expression.

Le Refuge,African Rainbow Family,Living Free UK,Calem Institute may provide safe spaces,counseling & support for Comorian LGBTQ+ refugees.

Summary:

Same sex sexual activity - ❌/✔️ illegal (in 3 comorian islands & legal in Mayotte)

Equal Age of Consent - ✔️/❌ (Except Mayotte, 3 of comorian islands has no equal age of consent)

Recognition of same-sex couples - ❌

Same sex marriages - ❌

Death sentence for LGBTQI+ - ✔️ (except Mayotte Island)

Anti-discrimination in hate speech - ❌

Anti-discrimination in employment - ❌

Right to legal gender change - ❌

Recognition of non-binary or third gender - ❌

LGBTQI+ people allowed to serve openly in the military - ❌/✔️ (3 comorian islands does not allow LGBTQ+ people to serve in military,while Mayotte allowed to serve them in military)

MSMs allowed to donate blood - ❌

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peachboomau · 1 year

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suesheroll · 2 years

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Something Great // The Gay Anthem of Midnight Memories

A lyric analysis that hopefully shows why this song was the gay anthem of 2013. Lol not trying to say anything new here please don’t kill me. God this is gonna be super rambly isn’t it?

JUST MY INTERPRETATION OF IT PLZ

juicy stuff after the cut (be glad i even put in a cut ok, or else it would’ve been intense scrolling times)

One day you’ll come into my world and say it all.

You’ll say we’ll be together even when you’re lost.

Here, the narrator is holding onto the hope that their partner will make the move to bring their relationship to the next level and go from “you don’t have to say you’re mine” to please tell me I’m yours.

If we look at it in the context of H and L (which, fuck you, of course I will be), you can see a lot of themes that will continue into their future solo and band music. With this lyric you can see a Home reference (or a Something Great ref in Home duh) with “when you’re lost I’ll find a way to you, I’ll be your light” that goes with “we’ll be together even when you’re lost”. Home, as we know, is a loud loud song and being “lost” could allude to being lost in a sea of cishet people where you can’t find people like you. Lost could also allude to the homophobic world of the industry where you don’t know how to navigate your own queerness.

One day you’ll say these words I thought you’ll never say

You say we’re better off together in our beds

Here, the tenses are very important. In the first lyric, its sort of a future tense meaning the person hasn’t said that “we’ll be together even when you’re lost” and the lyricist is still waiting on them. Instead what the person did say (as indicated by the present tense on “say”) is that “we’re better off together in our bed”. Bed here is a symbol of privacy (cos it has sex connotations in modern lit and sex supposed to be v hush hush na) so the person has just taken their relationship and put it behind a screen or under the sheets.

Ok am I allowed a slight tangent here? Imma do it anyways. If you look at She by Harry Styles then he also makes a bed a symbol of privacy when he says “she sleeps in his bed while he plays pretend”. The she being the part of himself that he needs to hide from his friends and basically keep under wraps. What’s a more private place than your own bed where you’re most vulnerable (sex and sleep- both cases where your guard is down and you trust the person next to you implicitly)

Therefore, not only is the relationship private but its one of immense trust because he dubs it OUR bed.

Queer relationships have to be kept secret and private and also require an implicit trust that your partner will not only not out you but you have such few people in your corner already as queer person that well your partner becomes an integral part of your strength.

I want you here with me

Like how I pictured it

So I don’t have to keep imagining

These lyrics build on the bed theme a bit. Imagining and pictured are synonymous with dreaming, typically something we do while asleep. And while asleep our subconscious runs wild with our deepest desires (not wet dreams you sly bastards, get yo mind outta the gutter) and here the lyricists greatest desire is to be out in public with their partner. We can also see the bed/dream motif in We Made It by Louis Tomlinson where he goes “share a single bed and tell each other what we dream about”.

Come on, jump out at me

Come on, bring everything

Is it too much to ask for something great?

Jump out at me is just such an exertive exuberant phrase that it can be considered the opposite of the cautious private discussed before. It just verbalises what the lyricist has been “imagining”. The something great can be the great romantic epics of the past yk.

The script is written and I could not change a thing

I want to rip it all to shreds and start again

WHEW. I MEAN COME ON. Broadly speaking, the script dictates what each member of society’s role is and it conforms to heteronormative ideals. The script is a homogenising force that strives to make everyone the same or at least “act” like it as if their lives were theatre (fuckity fuck fuck for queer people). Not only is the script already an oppressive force but the sheer helplessness of not being able to change it is doubly painful.

It’s also the lyricist needs to rip it all to shreds and start again because queer people cannot fit into the heteronormative society and sometimes need to carve out their own place (a place to feel good, mayhaps? Ok sorry).

If we talk about H and L for a sec, not only was a script written out for them (for the whole band actually), they basically had to “act” as if their lives were a pantomime which is what they were reduced to. We also see Louis incorporate the script thing into so many of his songs but most notably in habit where he says “ran out of energy playing (the role of) someone i heard I’m supposed to be” and the “different stages” can also be different theatre stages he has to act on. (Reminds you of the red curtain and sea of het couple in the Walls mv that can reiterate this) it can also be construed as their contracts that they need to rip to shreds and start afresh.

One day I’ll come into your world and get it right

I’ll say we’re better off here tonight

Now the roles are reversed and its the lyricist coming into their partners life and giving them the courage to ask for what they want. (I know that you’re scared because I’m so open) (when you’re lost I’ll be your light)

The here in these lyrics is vague but with the parallelism of the lyrics to the first verse, we can consider it an anti to the “together in our bed”, thus making it the opposite of the privacy the bed symbolised. The “get it right” just reiterated how being openly quiet with your partner is “right” and natural compared to secrecy (unless its voluntary secrecy without pressure yknow). However the future tense means that the lyricist hasn’t actually had the chance to say it yet or put it into action. :(

This is the plight of queer people everywhere. To be with their partners unapologetically and publicly. The publicly takes on a whole other level for H and L since public for them isn’t the street, its the spotlight therefore making it an even more intense emotion to be out in public.

You’re all I want

So much it’s hurting

Need I say anything? It’s the most gut wrenching ending to an upbeat song and really drives home the point that in spite of the hope in the last verse, things still aren’t fixed and H and L aren’t allowed to be unapologetic regardless of whether they’re ready or not.

TL;DR

this song follows queer people having to bathe their identities and relationships in secrecy and draw on each other’s strength to gain the courage to become open about it. However despite the courage, the preparedness society just shoved you back in with the threat of ostracism, violence or death. (Ok something great doesn’t really touch on the violence or death part but I just want to nod to all queer experiences.

btw, harry wrote this song so don’t tell me i’m crazy :(

I’m so sorry for this complete ramble fest and in apology have this picture of Louis fonding at Harry for the 49493828th time that tour.

Also tagging @swimmingleo , @ialwaysknewyouwerepunk and @bluewinnerangel cos I really wanna know their takes on this song. I’m rlly late to the party aren’t I?

#one direction #midnight memories #lyric analysis from your favourite fuckwit #something great #gay anthem #queer anthem #harry styles #louis tomilson #COMMUNICATION THROUGH SONGS

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years

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Quick question sorry if this has been asked before: do you know any Johnlock fanfic where they’re extremely sensual? Like not just making love but just super methodically drawn out and slow and sweet?

Hi Nonny!!

Ahh, because of this ask, I went through my bookmarks to see if I have any listed with “sensuality” so that’s what this list is!! It definitely doesn’t have all of my fics because I have to go back through them and tag them, but in the meantime, enjoy what I started tagging a few months ago when you sent me this ask, LOL <3

As always, add your own fics here, Lovelies!!

SENSUALITY